#i was actually dreading having to do this hangout but then he showed up

[tempests-bards-and-birds]

VENTI APPEARANCE IN KAEYA HANGOUT LET'S GOO

[heesdreamer]

ECHOES OF RIOT

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ falling inlove with a rockstar is never easy, especially when he returns to your hometown on a successful tour three years after you lost contact

WARNINGS ➩ this is like straight up angst… romance but mostly angst lol.. drug use, some violence, idk can’t really remember this is ridiculously long

WC ➩ 19.1k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ well this took me forever lol.. i don’t have much to say i just hope you like it. NOT PROOFREAD normally written at 4am lol the usual.. also side note one of the main characters was chaeyoung and i changed her to heejin for obvious reasons so if you see any of her name left over that’s my mistake and that’s why.

You weren’t exactly sure how you ended up like you did, so meek and quiet to the point that it was an actual hinderance on your daily activities.

If you were born like that, just one of those kids that was too shy to talk to their classmates and hid behind their moms legs on the first day of school, you’d completely understand but you’d actually been nearly the opposite for your entire life.

Maybe it was an accumulation of always feeling like you were taking up too much space, being on the receiving end of quick glares from teachers when you lacked volume control or seeing the hesitance on your friends parents faces when they excitedly asked if you could come over for a sleepover. Mixed with your own sudden self awareness going into high school.

You quickly realized that it wasn’t the loud girls getting asked out on dates and it was an almost immediately decline into self intrusion once you made this discovery.

It wasn’t like you necessarily wanted to be asked out by anybody, physically recoiling as your friends gossiped about the mass appointed hottest guys at your school and turning up your nose when they made sleazy attempts to flirt and court the other girls around you, but it felt embarrassing to be constantly left out of romantic group hangouts or discussions about experiences you’d never had.

Still, you had managed to keep a solid group of friends despite your newfound habit of self isolating and they only halfway judged you for your tendency to stay in on the weekends.

On the other half however, they weren’t so forgiving, hence why you were currently stood outside a low scale concert venue shivering so hard you were worried you’d chip a tooth. You were pulling your zip up hoodie tighter around your body and sending glares to your friends who were chatting animatedly about the band they were going to see.

Apparently it was composed of some boys around your age, not attending your school but well known enough that they had been invited to some of your friends parties and events and eventually your friend group had been given tickets to one of their shows.

You weren’t the biggest fan of crowds in general but especially concert goers and you’d been promised that this one would be chill and relaxing, something you automatically knew was a lie the second you left the cab and saw the attire of everybody around you. The line was buzzing with energy and adrenaline and you could hear the acts doing soundcheck from inside, music loud and heavy.

It was freezing and as much as you were dreading being pushed into a crowd with jabbing elbows and sweat rolling off their skin onto yours, you were ready to get out of the line as more and more snow kept falling down onto the uncaring crowd.

“Aren’t you excited?” Your head was turning at the sound of a soft voice coming from your right and you smiled softly at one of your calmer friends.

“Sure Sunoo. It’ll be fun.” You were replying quickly, not needing them to feel awkward or guilty about bringing you just because you didn’t necessarily want to come. You figured he could tell you were lying by the pity filled look he gave you but he didn’t call you out for it.

He didn’t say anything else for a second and he didn’t get a chance before the doors were opening and the line was surging forward, already getting your tickets checked while you waited and turning into a blob of people and excitement all trying to squeeze into the single door.

You were groaning softly at the feeling of being jostled around but you couldn’t help but laugh at the fact all of your friends were linking arms and declaring to stay together, slightly envious of the pure delight on their faces whilst your heart was starting to ache from the anxious way it was pounding. You let yourself be dragged through the crowd by them, closing your eyes for a second when you pushed through the tightest areas and just allowing them to guide you through it.

The venue was more so just a bar with a small stage but your friends had told you that these were the best types of places to see a show at, intimate and ear shattering loud.

They’d said the last half with an enthusiastic giggle but you had winced softly at the image of how close you’d be to the large speakers that you now saw adorning the stage. It was dark in the building and your shoes were sticking to the floor beneath you, lights turned a deep glowing green and something more casual playing over the speakers to fill the silence.

You’d followed behind them as they found a spot near the bar, safely tucked away from the crowd and planning to wait out the opening acts here to preserve their energy. They all agreed to push into the crowd once the main band came out and try to get as close as they possibly could, looking over at you for acceptance and all smiling and patting your back when you gave a sheepish nod.

It wasn’t that bad and you were quickly getting used to it, the thick cloud of cigarette smoke settling over you and only making you slightly dizzy now.

You felt a bit embarrassed and out of place but everybody else was too excited or drunk to notice that you weren’t exactly in the most appropriate attire. Sunoo had shot you a questioning glance when you’d gotten into the shared cab but you only just now realized you weren’t fitting in with the rest of the crowd or your friends even slightly.

The difference between you and them was even more evident when the owner of the bar was stepping onto stage and excitedly announcing the first artists, all your friends cheering and holding onto each other while you sat and watched from one of the bar stools.

You were still able to have fun as you watched them, smiling softly at the way they kept instinctively moving forward together as the music started and they screamed the lyrics. You didn’t recognize the songs that the band was covering but you knew enough about music to tell it sounded amazing, watching them closely as they skillfully played off of each other and got the crowd properly amped up.

You’d never really understood the purpose behind opening acts but you were getting it now considering you were feeling more and more excited for the main band as you kept watching.

Then more time had passed and the crowd had entered that stage of being too excited and too intoxicated to really understand boundaries and limits, a few fights breaking out that your friends didn’t bat an eye at but you were starting to feel a really deep pit building in your stomach.

It only worsened when somebody was hurriedly, and messily, approaching the bar and demanding another drink as he anxiously looked behind him at where you presumed his spot in the crowd was. You were watching him out of the corner of your eye as he ordered, feeling him swaying drunkenly closer to you and wanting to make sure he didn’t accidentally tip over and knock you out of your seat.

Your intuition was astoundingly accurate considering it wasn’t long before somebody else was approaching the man and leaning into his side, sending the both of them tilting over in your direction.

You’d just managed to hop off the bar seat before they were slamming into it but with the speed in which you’d jumped off combined with the sticky floor underneath you, you were skidding forward and landing roughly on your side against the ground.

Neither man seemed coherent enough to notice you had fallen from the height and you could hear them drunkenly laughing with each other from above you. Your friends hadn’t noticed the altercation either and you quickly frowned at the nasty sensation under your hands before you were standing up and swiftly adjusting your skirt.

You were rushing back out towards the entrance before anybody could notice your disappearance, pushing back through the door and immediately being hit by the cold air as the snow continued to build up on the ground. You were sighing and bending down to pick some of it off the sidewalk, rubbing it in your hands and trying to clean them off the best you could with the wetness.

“You’re going to miss the main act.”

You were jumping at the sound of a voice coming from behind you, standing up swiftly and turning around to see somebody leaning against the building and taking a long drag from whatever it was that he was smoking.

“Oh.. yeah I know I just.. had something on my hands.” You were mumbling out towards him and indicating awkwardly at the snow in your hands, realizing how weird it must’ve looked from his angle.

He was laughing softly at your explanation and your face flushed in embarrassment again for the sixth time that night, taking in his attire and knowing he’d be able to tell right away that you weren’t exactly supposed to be here. He was tall, would be even taller if he was standing up straight and it was especially accentuated by the tight fit of his ripped black jeans. You couldn’t see his face super clearly from where he was stood underneath the shaky lights but his hair was messy and in his eyes and you thought you saw a piercing or two shining on his face.

“Who dragged you here?” He was suddenly asking and you froze up again as you looked at him, eyes darting down to his feet for a second nervously.

“My friends got tickets and I couldn’t get out of it.” You were telling him softly and shrugging a bit. A car was driving past on the empty road and you waited for the sounds of the snow crunching under its tires to quiet before you finished. “From the band actually.”

You look back at him just in time to see his eyebrows lift in surprise and then settle into recognition, your own shifting forward in furrowed confusion. The boy was taking a step off the wall then and flicking his cigarette somewhere off near the road, your eyes following the still burning ember as it flew through the air before circling back to him.

“I’ll see you inside then.” His tone was one of a statement and not a question but you were still slightly confused despite the fact you habitually nodded at him.

You let out a big sigh once he was leaving finally, weirdly going through the alley towards what you could only assume was a side entrance and not the door right next to him. It quickly slipped your mind and you decided to wait for the previous act to finish up before you also headed back in.

You crouched back down closer to the snow and continued to try and clean off your hands and parts of your sleeves that had gotten stained from whatever substances were on the floor. The cold was sending waves of shivers through you but you simply ignored the uncomfortable feeling, especially since you figured you’d warm up quickly once you headed back inside.

Eventually you could hear the second opening act thanking the crowd for their intense energy before the familiar voice of the bar owner was back, this time more excited as he announced that the main band was finally coming out on to the stage.

You sighed softly again to yourself before stomping the slush off your boots and heading back through the door, once again being hit by the tight atmosphere that was a lot more sweaty than when you had first walked in and was now practically buzzing with adrenaline.

It was harder than you had planned for to get back to your seat and you almost gave up and just resided to the back of the building but once the band members were finally on stage the crowd surged forward, a gap in the mass of people slightly opened up and you were hurrying through it back towards where your friends had been. They were gone now but you had expected that, knowing they must likely went closer to the stage.

You were just barely settling back into an empty stool when the band was coming out on stage and you frowned when you realized you could barely see them, sitting up slightly and freezing up when you got a better view.

One of the boys was standing center stage and speaking into the mic, presumably introducing them to the crowd who was cheering the loudest they had all night, but your gaze was drifting a few feet to his right to where one of the guitarist was standing.

You immediately recognized him as the boy from outside, a wave of embarrassment washing over you as you remembered how you had been less than enthusiastic about coming and had told him the band invited you and your friends. His surprised expression was making sense to you now and you would’ve turned to face palm if you weren’t stuck staring at him.

He was scanning the crowd for a few seconds and your eyes widened a touch when he was looking in your direction, stopping his wandering gaze as a soft smirk started to build up on his lips.

You were glancing around you to see if there was anything else he could be looking at and then feeling your face heat up alarmingly fast when you realized there wasn’t and he definitely recognized you from your awkward encounter outside.

Then they were starting to play and you were frozen for other reasons, your eyes locked on him and his frame as he started to open the song slow and soft. It wasn’t the type of music you had expected from them just based off of appearance and you were completely transfixed by the way they skillfully moved with their respective instruments, the boys behind the mics voice coming through now.

The crowd was swaying along with the gentle music, calming down into a low buzz like they were being completely controlled by the bands sound and energy.

You sat frozen like that for the entirety of the first song, mouth slightly parted in surprise and watching the boy you’d seen outside as he continued to play. You didn’t know much about guitars but you could tell he was good, his louder than the others and ringing out clear even underneath the distorted vocals.

He wasn’t looking at you anymore because he wasn’t looking at anything at all, leaning back and keeping his eyes shut as he played them through the final half of the first song. He was rocking along with his strums and he seemed just as into it and transfixed as the rest of the building was.

The first song slowed to a stop and you heard the vocalist laugh softly into the mic before he was glancing behind him towards where the drummer was sitting. You watched them curiously as they nodded at eachother in silent communication, amazed at how casual and relaxed they seemed to be in front of all of these people.

“Obviously we know what you’re all here for.” The lead vocalist was speaking into the mic with a small smile and the two guitarist start to build up the intro of the next song. “Watch your elbows and try not to knock anyone out.”

He was laughing as he finished his lighthearted warning but you watched as the crowd surged with excitement and started to move around, coming to life in sync like they were all the same creature and you felt a bit sick at how tight and moving it was quickly becoming. He was starting to sing again in a lower tone and even though the song was still bordering on calm, you could feel it building up along with the energy in the room.

It was closer to what you had expected their music to sound like and although it wasn’t necessarily something you’d keep on during your downtime, you couldn’t help but feel a bit giddy at the way the entire crowd reacted to the explosive chorus.

The drummers voice was rasping underneath the main vocalist now and you quickly understand their previous communication, a smile building on your face as you watched the guitarist from outside staring at them with an unfiltered excitement.

They played more songs and you continued to sit and watch them unmoving, your eyes mostly transfixed on the boy with the guitar until the end of their set. You’d never seen somebody play the way he did and you almost felt like you had no choice but to watch him considering how captivating he looked on stage. Eventually they were shouting their goodbyes towards the crowd and accepting thrown gifts and hands reaching out for contact, all except for the guitarist considering he was just watching and smiling at the crowd for a distance.

You were still watching them as they left the stage and disappeared back into the restricted part of the building, not even noticing when your friends were excitedly bounding back over to you.

“That was fucking awesome.” Heejin was wrapping her arm around your shoulder and shaking you enthusiastically, sweat lining her dyed hair now and making her tattoos glisten under the now red lighting.

“Jungwon somehow sounds 100 times better in person.” You turned your head to see Sunoo coming to sit next to you with an impressed look on his face, shaking his head in disbelief and still watching the empty stage like you were a few moments ago. “Plus I didn’t know Jake could sing like that.”

“He sang at that school event remember? Before Jay got him into drumming.” Riki was quickly explaining and taking a swig of a water bottle he was carrying, still slightly out of breath from the tight and hot crowd.

You watched them talk animatedly about the show with a soft smile and fondness, you were glad they had fun even if you were originally hesitant to come out with them. It had been better than you’d expected and you still felt a little rush of excitement under your skin when you thought about how loud and beautiful the music had been. You’d completely forgotten about falling on the floor or any mishap.

“Are you ready to go then? We don’t want to keep them waiting, they’re probably super tired.” Joonie was turning to smile at you and await your response but her grin faltered when she saw the heavy look of confusion gracing your features. “You didn’t ask her?”

She was moving her head to give an accusatory stare towards the others and Sunoo winced softly at the harshness in her glare. Riki was sighing and scratching the back of his neck before answering. “We figured we’d ask her after she saw them… maybe she’d be more inclined to say yes.”

“Say yes to what?” You were quickly butting in, slightly frustrated that they were talking around you like you weren’t sat right there watching the entire thing.

“The band wanted us to come over to their place after the show.” Heejin was answering hesitantly, watching you with an expectant look like she was already prepared for you to shut them down.

You can’t deny that the thought immediately crossed your mind, beyond used to rejecting hangouts instinctively especially ones that were so small and intimate with people you didn’t know.

Then you were thinking about the way they had performed and how you had felt seeing them have so much fun on the stage, like they never cared about taking up too much space and they certainly weren’t concerned with ever being too loud. You were pausing for a few seconds to think about it even though you already felt like your mind had been made up, meeting your friends waiting stares and giving them a soft nod of approval.

——

You had quickly come to regret your accepting nod on your way to meet up with the boys, packed into a cab with your friends who still vaguely smelled like the inside of the venue and conjoined sweat.

They still seemed excited so you were trying your best to not be a visible mood killer but you were getting more and more anxious the closer you got to where you’d be meeting, not even exactly sure what type of environment you were going into.

It got even worse when the cab was pulling to a stop in front of a house tucked neatly in a lower class suburban area, the dread of having to make small talk in such an intimate setting like one the boys house was making your stomach turn with nausea. You sucked it up and followed behind your friends with held breath, listening as the door opened and they excitedly greeted whoever it was that was behind it.

You eventually filed through and when it was your turn to pass through the doorway, you realized it was Jake who had opened it.

You recognized him from school events like Riki had mentioned before, not attending yours but a few times a year the neighboring schools held community shows and events to bring the area closer together and scout for grants and sponsorships. You distinctly remember Jake sitting on the stage a few years back, looking beyond nervous as he softly strung his acoustic guitar and sang a song that had slipped your memory by now.

It was a striking opposition to what you’d seen him do tonight, both the fact he had been singing so hard his voice was scratching underneath Jungwon’s softer tone and the way he was slamming down on the drums so hard you had been worried he’d break something.

He had a certain buzzing energy to him that helped this make sense, watching him now as he excitedly bounced around your friends like a loose dog as he guided them towards another doorway. You figured he was more full of bottled up excitement over any actual aggressiveness and you continued to silently follow behind them.

You were a bit surprised to be led down to a small finished basement, carefully walking down the carpeted steps and feeling weirdly like you’d been transported back to your own home with how familiar the area looked.

There was a small red light connected to the door with tape and you imagined it was to signal that some sort of recording was going on, a small smile playing up on your face at the irony of the devoted after band having such a simple setup. The smile was immediately slipping off when you were hearing your friends start up rounds of greeting again and you paled with nerves.

“That’s Y/N, she doesn’t talk much.” Riki was quickly saying and you were half grateful he had saved you from awkwardly stuttering out your name and half furious as all sets of eyes turned to look in your direction.

You recognized the lead singer first, looking a lot less intimidating now that he was sitting on the sofa in more comfortable clothes and letting his purple mullet air dry from what you could only assume was a post show shower. You knew his name was Jungwon just from hearing your friends rambles and you filled in the blanks for the rest of the names.

Jay was almost more intimidating off stage than he was on it, losing that playful and excited energy that being in front of a crowd brought and falling into an almost scary silence. If it wasn’t for the gentle way he was picking at an acoustic guitar, a stark difference to the black and shining electric one you’d seen him with on stage.

Your eyes were drifting over to the final person in the room who was busy chatting with Heejin and staring excitedly at her newest tattoos, his hands hovering over her skin but not touching directly like an excited child. Sunoo had told you on the way here that Sunghoon played bass and whilst you weren’t exactly sure what that meant, he seemed the most approachable out of the group.

Minus the member you’d already accidentally approached but he was missing from the current area and you felt a wave of relief rushing through you considering how embarrassed you’d felt seeing him on stage.

You almost fell into autopilot and you listened to the two groups mix and talk casually like they were lifelong friends, an overwhelming feeling of envy sitting in your stomach considering the fact they were so easily able to hold conversation with each other whilst you struggled to even introduce yourself.

Jay had gotten up to put on a record at some point and that made you feel slightly more at ease considering there was no more room for awkward silence, something a lot calmer than what they’d played earlier ringing through the room as they all lounged in different places and started to smoke amongst each other.

Your friends didn’t bother offering any to you considering you had a tendency to say no, not necessarily against smoking or being high but the intimacy of sharing a blunt mixed with the performance anxiety as it was passed around the circle almost on instinct. The other boys must’ve gotten the hint without it needing to be said and they also didn’t try to get you to smoke, leaving you relieved that they weren’t the types to poke fun at you or try to pressure you into it.

It was a lot easier for you to just watch them and get a small contact high, sinking down into your spot on the couch more and relaxing as they started to lose focus and definitely lose the ability to care if you were being awkward.

You were pressed against the side of the sofa even though nobody was sat directly near you, still trying to ensure you were taking up as little space on the furniture as possible in case somebody else wanted to sit or you were simply just in the way. You were grateful you’d developed this habit considering the door to the basement was opening again and you froze up as the light shone in from the top of the stairs.

“Finally, the chosen one has arrived.” Jake was yelling excitedly from somewhere you couldn’t see, laying flat on the carpet behind the round ottoman and you could only barely catch a glimpse of his arms being thrown up in mock praise.

You were staring at the stairs as the boot covered feet started to descend down and you knew who it was before he even reached the point where you could see his upper half, freezing even more at the way his eyes scanned over the unfamiliar faces in the basement before pausing on you.

You awkwardly pulled your sleeves over your hands and glanced back over at Sunoo was sitting in the chair closest to you and the couch, talking to Sunghoon about something you couldn’t quite make it out considering anxiety was fully building up now and you were slightly disoriented from the overstimulation in the room.

Much to your dismay and attempts to stop yourself, your eyes were drifting back over to the boy and you almost groaned when you realized he was still watching you.

Heeseung had, according to Joonie on the way here, been the one to originally start up the band and convince the others to take it as seriously as he did. He was the lead guitarist first and foremost but he dabbled in almost everything, including producing all of their original songs and covers and apparently forfeiting his basement as their studio considering the younger photos of him scattered around the walls.

His baby pink hair was in his face even more now than it had been when you’d saw him smoking outside, littered with random blonde patches that told you he had done it himself, and now you were positive he had multiple piercings throughout his face.

It was only getting worse for you when he was making his way over to the couch and taking the empty middle seat, directly next to you.

You were sat with your feet up on the fabric and hugging your knees close to your chest but you imagined if you’d been sat normally then your thighs would be press against his that had lost the tight ripped jeans and were now sporting some more casual black sweatpants.

“You want this Hee?” Sunghoon was saying from where he was sat on the floor besides Sunoo on the chair.

You glanced over to the boy just in time to see him shake his head in denial and a wave of surprise and relief washed over you, grateful you wouldn’t be the only one not smoking anymore. “You don’t smoke?” Riki was asking and Heeseung seemed to instinctively shake his head no.

Jay snorted out a half laugh half scoff and you watched the pink haired boy shoot him a sharp glare before his eyes were drifting over to you, almost like he was checking your reaction. Your eyebrows were furrowed forward in confusion, wondering why he was lying about smoking, he must’ve forgotten the fact you’d seen him outside with a cigarette only a few hours before.

Everybody fell back into their own individual conversations again and you started to relax finally, listening to the music playing softly in the smoke filled room.

“So did you end up liking it then?” Heeseung’s voice was coming from beside you and you looked over towards him with widened eyes, not expecting him to directly address you.

“W-what?” You were stuttering out and then immediately flushing in embarrassment when a concerned look passed over his intimidating face. He seemed nice enough but your closed mind couldn’t look past the piercings and the eyeliner still staining around his large eyes.

“The show.” He was quickly explaining, looking slightly embarrassed himself that you hadn’t understood what he was talking about. “You didn’t seem too excited when you were outside.”

You froze up in your spot considering he was directly referencing the conversation you’d had outside, in which you had told him begrudgingly and in complaint that you hadn’t been able to get out of going to the show that he was performing at. You didn’t respond for a few seconds and you were grateful that everybody was too stoned to keep up with your awkward conversation.

“It was… you guys were very..” You trailed off when you saw the expectant look on his face and you cleared your throat a bit, eyes darting down to the double piercings going through the thin skin of his lips and then back up to his eyes. “It was cool.”

“Just cool?” His lip was curling softly up into a half smirk at your extremely vague answer, shifting in his place on the couch so he was facing you better and you tried not to be extremely weird about the fact his arm was resting on the back of the sofa now and therefore his hand was dangling on the other side of your shoulders.

“Super cool?” You offered in a squeaky voice, wincing as your shoulders curled in on themselves.

He laughed softly at your answer and you were relieved that he found it somewhat funny and wasn’t totally offended that you didn’t have a string of compliments prepared for him. You did like the show much more than you thought you would and if you were able to get ahold of yourself, you would’ve told him how impressed you were as you watched him play.

But you weren’t that lucky and you knew you’d be stuck giving him half true statements that didn’t actually show how you truly felt about the set, turning your head back to face forward so you didn’t have to look at his face anymore.

You weren’t exactly sure why he had come to talk to you out of everybody in the room, knowing he was obviously a lot closer to his band mates and had even hung out with your male friends a few times from your knowledge in group settings. Joonie had told you that she thought the two of you were a bit similar considering he was also rarely at social events but you highly doubted the comparison considering the way he looked performing in front of an adoring and expectant crowd.

Still, you thought about the way he hung back at the end of the final song instead of interacting with the fans like the other members had and the fact you hadn’t been surprised when he wasn’t present in the basement at first.

“Are you two actually talking to each other or just sitting in weirdo silence?” Your head was picking back up to look over at Heejin who was sitting on the other side of the couch, next to Heeseung but leaning far enough away towards Jake and Jungwon that they didn’t touch at all.

You didn’t need to look at her to know who she was referring to but your stomach dropped a little when you met her gaze and confirmed she was referring to you, the others in the room also looking over considering her statement.

Heejin was in no way mean to you and she was actually your longest friend out of the group, knowing her since middle school which meant she was around to watch your social decline. She made jokes sometimes or pushed you too far out of your comfort zone but you always took it as her way of trying to help you loosen up like she knew you could, always stopping whenever you got visibly too overwhelmed or uncomfortable.

You weren’t sure if it was the presence of people she admired or the buzz of a high settling over her that caused her to make the comment but it clearly crossed a line the two of you had silently established throughout the years, your face dropping at the unwanted attention.

“Heeseung is the master of weirdo silence.” Jake was adding on from the floor again and you could hear him giggling nonsensically, sitting up so you could see his head past the ottoman and frown at him.

“Yeah well I’d rather talk to..” Heeseung was starting harshly before trailing off and glancing over at you with a raised eyebrow. You paused for a few seconds and stared at him in confusion but realizing he was waiting for you to tell him your name, quickly whispering it to him and trying to ignore the small smile he gave you before turning back to look at the others. “I’d rather talk to Y/N than you deadbeats.”

The boys in the room were breaking out into small fits of laughters and instigating choruses of “Oo’s”. Fanning their hands out like they’d been burned and only settling down when Heeseung was rolling his eyes and sinking further into the couch.

Luckily they all seemed to let it go after that even though you were still left with a deeper pit in your stomach because of Heejin’s random dig at both you and Heeseung, roping him in to your anti social behavior and giving his own friends the opportunity to pile on top of it.

You were glancing over at him again from the corner of your eye, hesitantly shifting to try and catch his attention again. His gaze was snapping back to your face when you moved slightly and his eyebrows raised in question again, a lot softer than they had been when he was asking for your name and snapping back at your friends. You watched the way the metal balls surrounding his eyebrow stretched with the movement before licking your dry lips and speaking.

“Thanks.” The word slipped from your lips in a small breath and once again you felt disappointed that it was all you had managed to say, wishing you were able to express your gratitude to him more.

He didn’t seem to mind and his shoulders were lifting in a small shoulder, watching you curiously. “It’s no big deal. I don’t talk much either.”

“Even though you do all… that?” You were asking before you even processed the question falling from your lips and he looked equally surprised as you that you were continuing the conversation without needing prompting.

“Like perform?” His voice was lower now as you started to talk more and you had a feeling he didn’t want the others to listen in and find a way to intervene again. You gave him a soft nod, grateful he had understood your vague wording. “It’s different, I don’t really think of it like that. Sometimes I don’t even feel like I’m there in front of all those people.”

If you’d heard him say that last week or even this morning, you would’ve not fully understood what exactly he was trying to explain to you. Even now you were still a bit confused on what exactly the feeling was like but you immediately understood what he was referring to, remembering the way he was closing his eyes and leaning with the music like he was in his own world.

You must’ve fallen silent for too long as you were thinking about it and what that could possibly be like, how it would feel to live a life with that sort of overwhelming passion, because he was clearing his throat and shifting again.

“It’s like… well what do you do?” He was starting to try and find an analogy, assuming you didn’t understand and you froze up at the direct question.

“What do I do?” You were repeating back to him for clarification and he nodded earnestly, waiting to hear your answer. “I don’t think I really do anything.”

He seemed taken back by that and you were slightly embarrassed that you’d failed to answer his question properly. You’d thought about it before, being at the age where you should have something you were passionate about or a hobby that motivated you in some way.

You never really did much of anything on your own and you’d yet to find anything that gave you that sort of spark he’d be referring to, the type of spark that would cause you to do what you loved even if it meant pushing yourself past your limits or standing on a stage like you were born for it.

“What are you doing this weekend?” He was suddenly rushing out and your eyes widened in surprise again at the fact his voice had come out much louder now, like he’d forced himself to say it. You didn’t say anything for a few seconds and then you were shaking your head to signal that you weren’t doing anything set in stone. “Come to our next show.”

“To your show?” You were repeating in bewilderment and he was nodding his head quickly as he scanned over your face hesitantly, wondering if you were going to reject him. Eventually you were biting the inside of your cheek after contemplating for a while and glancing at him. “O-okay.. yeah sure.”

——

“Y/N, the phone for you.” Your mothers screaming voice was floating up the stairs and you groaned softly into your pillow, laying on your stomach and overthinking the events of the previous weekend like you had been for days.

It was pretty uneventful after your conversation with Heeseung, both falling into a silence or offering small laughs and quick glances as you listened to your friends talk and get to know each other better. He must’ve been telling the truth about not talking much because nobody looked over at him once expectantly although you noticed his band mates keeping an eye on the two of you occasionally.

Eventually you and your friends had left the basement and the pink haired boy had spared you a quick wave through the window as the taxi pulled off.

You’d listened to your friends excitedly talk the entire way back to your neighbors and pry you for details about what you’d been talking about with him, not noticing the bitter expression on your face when you noticed how surprised they seemed that he’d chosen to speak to you.

Now it was Thursday and you were thinking about it all again, replaying it over and over and finding something new to be embarrassed about each time you did. Heeseung was surprisingly soft spoken and slightly awkward considering his appearance but you knew it held no parallel to how terrible you were at socializing.

“Y/N.” Your mom was screaming again and this time you rolled over as you groaned, letting it fill the room before you were getting off your bed and heading down the stairs.

Your mom was standing there with the phone in her hand, watching you with an excited expression and your face was pulling forward in confusion as your steps hesitantly slowed to a stop. “It’s a boy.” She was whispering and pointing at the phone with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

You were snatching the phone away from her and walking around the corner into the hallways, stretching the chord as far as it could possibly go and waving a dismissive hand at your mom when she was poking her around the corner in curiosity.

“Hello?” You were breathing into the phone and it was a heavy silence for a few seconds before you could hear somebody clearing their throat on the other side.

“Hey Y/N, it’s Heeseung.” He was announcing and you froze up at the sound of his soft voice coming through your speaker, clutching the phone tighter in your hand and shifting it against your ear. “Um.. like the guitar guy.”

You were laughing softly at the fact he felt the need to specify, most likely growing nervous from your extended silence. “I know who you are Heeseung.”

“Cool… yeah cool.” He was breathing back and letting out his own nervous laugh, a small smile building on your face at how awkward he seemed now. You liked how different he was in each setting, confident and sensual on stage and casual and calm when surrounded by his friends in a familiar area. Now you were seeing what he was like on his own, mirroring a personality similar to yours.

“D-did you need something?” You tried to keep your tone light so he didn’t think you were bothered by the fact he had called despite your confusion over how he’d gotten your number or what exactly he wanted.

Your heart was racing slightly as you listened to him inhale over the phone, feeling a bit ridiculous over your own reactions but you couldn’t help but think about his soft pink hair and the piercings your mom would definitely disapprove of. She glared at Heejin’s bare skin every time she came over during the summer so you couldn’t imagine her reaction to seeing Heeseung’s group of friends.

“I was just calling to make sure you were still going to the show and Sunghoon said I should tell you to bring your friends.” He was explaining in a low tone and you could hear shushing in the background, your smile widening at the realization he was around some of his friends. “I’m pretty sure he’s just trying to convince Heejin to give him a tattoo but it would be safer anyways with more people.”

“Alright, yeah we’ll be there.” You were telling him back swiftly and you surprised yourself by how naturally it came out of your mouth, no stutter or hesitation.

“Cool.” You could almost hear the smile in his voice as he said the word again, almost repeating it like he did the first time but seemingly catching himself before he did. “I’ll see you there then?”

“Yeah… yeah you will.”

——

“So he like directly invited you.” Riki was asking for the sixth time that night and you sighed softly when he was bumping his elbow into your arm with a smile on his face, clearly excited about the recent development in your life.

“Is it that surprising?” Your tone was stiff along with your posture, somehow once again finding yourself in a cold line outside of a random concert venue downtown.

“Not at all Y/N.” Sunoo was quickly interjecting once he realized you were taking offense to their over excitement, offering him a small tired smile due to his habit of trying to make you feel better. “We are just happy for you.”

You were about to remind him that there was no reason to be happy or excited and that you and Heeseung had just gotten along, nothing else, but you were interrupted by the staff who was checking tickets approaching your group. You watched as he took a look at Riki’s and then his school ID, promptly marking his hand with a solid black X before he was turning towards you expectantly.

He was looking at your ID with a bored expression but before he was able to hand it back to you and give you a similar marking, he paused and did a double take as he looked at the words. “Y/N? You’re on the list.”

“The list?” Your voice was soft in confusion and buried under the sound of your friends excited squeals and laughters, feeling Joonie’s hands come up to squeeze your shoulders and shake you softly.

You weren’t understanding what was happening until you were being moved forward, hearing Heejin clarify that you all were allowed early entry before she was smiling brightly and practically caring you with the rest of them as you entered the venue ahead of everybody else. You felt a flush come up to your cheeks when you realized that Heeseung had clearly mentioned you to the staff of the building and that’s why you were currently skipping the line and heading towards the back of the venue.

It was a different place than last time, bigger and seemingly more concert specific in comparison to the bar you were at last time.

The staff member was leading you down a hallway until you were stopped in front of a door with chipping paint, a piece of paper stuck to it with tape and the bands name in big sharpie letters. You smiled softly at their names all scribbled around the bold font, knowing they must’ve stuck it outside themselves as a mock dressing room.

You felt a wave of anxiety rush up with the employee was knocking on the door twice before turning to head back outside and control the growing crowd but you didn’t have any time to panic before it was being thrown open.

“You came.” Heeseung’s eyes were wide as he looked down at you in surprise and you were parting your lips to answer him before your friends were impatiently pushing into the room, practically shoving you forward into him.

He helped steady you when you made a small noise of surprise and you were glancing up at him in embarrassment, face undoubtedly red considering he was holding onto your arms even once your feet were flat on the ground. “You look…”

You felt overwhelming self conscious when his gaze was dropping down, scanning over your outfit and body before meeting your eyes again. You’d mistakenly let Heejin and Joonie dress you after they practically spent two hours begging, remembering how awkward you felt being improperly dressed last time.

It felt even worse to be in clothes you weren’t at all used to or comfortable with and you couldn’t tell what Heeseung was thinking just based off his expression.

“It looks really good.” He was breathing out finally and you felt a wave of relief at his statement, and then self judgment for caring what he thought in the first place. “Are you sure you’ll be comfortable though? I have a sweater you can wear.”

You froze up slightly as he continued to speak to you in a calm voice, somehow sensing your anxiety over the outfit despite only speaking to you a few times. You were half flattered that he cared enough to lend you some clothes and half humiliated that he could tell you didn’t normally wear things like this.

He must’ve seen outfits like this on hundreds of girls every time he had a show, knowing half the crowd would be dressed similarly to you but wearing it with a confidence and aura that you severely lacked. You didn’t have an overwhelming presence like Heejin or an alluring personality like Joonie and you’d always felt bland in comparison.

You were awkwardly glancing around the makeshift dressing room and pleased to see your friends and the band engaging in their own excited conversations and not paying you any mind.

Then your gaze was landing on one of the mirrors across the room and you were freezing up when you caught sight of you and Heeseung, still standing closer than you’d thought you were with his hands touching your arms. You almost didn’t recognize yourself for a second and despite how awful the clothes felt against your skin, you couldn’t deny that you looked good standing next to him and his similar aesthetic.

“I’ll be alright.” You were turning back to him to answer his question definitively and you tried to hold eye contact with him for a second, easier considering his hair was falling into his face again.

He was wearing eyeliner like he had been the first time you’d seen him outside the venue but it was a lot bolder and messier this time, making his eyes even bigger than they already were but completely changing his energy and appearance in comparison to the version of him you’d seen in his basement.

“Are you nervous?” You weren’t sure why that was the next thing you said to him but his eyes lit up when you whispered the question, staring up at him with wide eyes and saying it so softly he almost didn’t catch it underneath the loud crowd in the distance and your friends behind him.

“I’m excited.” He was responding back and you knew he meant it, no sign of apprehension or hesitation on his face.

You’d never seen somebody look as intense as Heeseung did when he talked about performing, his entire demeanor changing from the awkward boy who you’d been speaking to, almost seeming unsure of himself after every sentence. He didn’t even seem to think at all when he spoke about music or being on stage and you watched him curiously as he rambled on about how it felt to be up there.

You figured he probably knew you wouldn’t ever be able to understand what he was talking about unless you did it yourself but you still felt giddy that he wanted to explain it to you.

He talked about it until another team member was poking his head in to let the boys know that soundcheck was about to start and then the doors would open, also being you and your friends queue to go and get spots in the front row.

“I’ll see you out there then?” He was smiling down at you and giving a gentle squeeze to your arm that he was still holding, your own breaking out on your face despite trying to withhold and you gave him a small nod of approval before he was disappearing out the door after the others.

Your friends were obviously excited for having caught the end of your interaction and although you rolled your eyes as they begun to tease you, you couldn’t rid yourself of the bright grin you were catching between your lips and you started to head back out into the hallway and towards where the crowd would be standing.

You felt okay for now but you were starting to get more and more anxious at the realization that soon the mass of people would surge inside towards you and you’d be stuck in your place against the barricade, white knuckling it as you contemplated heading to the back of the venue and watching from there instead so you wouldn’t embarrass yourself by having a panic attack right in front of the band.

“You know..” Heejin was leaning in against your side to whisper into your ear and you felt her hand squeezing your side affectionately. “Jake said that Heeseung’s never invited anybody to a show before.”

She was pulling away just in time to see your eyes widen in surprise, followed by your face flushing a bright red at the knowing look she was giving you. “Not even his family?”

You knew that the bands music wouldn’t necessarily be everybody’s personal taste, especially those of an older generation, but you couldn’t help but feel slightly confused that he wouldn’t ever ask anybody to come watch him perform. He was clearly proud of what he had created and more passionate than anyone you’d met before.

“It’s just him and his dad I guess.” She was shrugging softly and glancing up at the stage as she spoke. “Apparently he’s a huge hard ass about him doing music.”

Your face was falling into a small frown at what she was saying but you didn’t have a chance to respond before the lights were shutting off and immediately being replaced by the same red ones the other venue had put on for their set, hearing the sounds of the doors opening and feet swiftly approaching the stage.

Anxiety was immediately building up as you were getting more and more constricted in the crowd but you felt slightly better knowing your friends were around you, feeling Riki not so subtly shift his position so he was stood behind you and you weren’t going to be subject to any stranger pressing into your body.

You were going to turn and give him a grateful smile but you were cut off by the sounds of the crowd screaming louder than you’d ever heard, confused on what was causing it before you realized the boys were already coming out onto the stage.

They were only silhouettes at first without the spotlights turned on but you could tell it was Sunghoon who had ended up directly in front of you, glancing across the stage to see Heeseung on the other side beside Jungwon again like he had been the other weekend.

Then the lights were coming on, soft enough to keep the red glow but illuminating each member and their instruments. You smiled widely and couldn’t help the scream that leapt from your throat, joining in with your friends and the rest of the crowd as excitement started to fill you. You’d never been in a setting like this before and you were quickly understanding why it was so addicting.

You were already watching Heeseung from the moment he stepped on stage so you definitely didn’t miss the way his eyes were scanning the front section of the crowd, only settling once they passed by you before quickly backtracking as a smile curled up on his lips.

Jungwon was starting to speak into the mic and introduce them like you’d heard him do last week but you were preoccupied, watching the pink haired boy and giving him a small nod of acknowledgment with a soft smile.

Then the show was starting and you quickly realized that what you had seen last time was nothing in comparison to actually being in the crowd, an energy taking over you that you didn’t even know you possessed. You were dancing along with Heejin and gripping Sunoo’s arm in excitement as he screamed and sang along, all the while keeping your eyes on Heeseung.

He was almost like a completely different person on stage, more than just his energy considering the fact even his gaze was new to you. He was a lot more intimidating when he was staring down at you with hooded eyes, the eyeliner more smudge now and thankfully distracting you from the skillful way his fingers moved along the guitar strings.

It was hard not to think about him to the level you’d been trying to deny when he was looking at you for almost the entirety of the show, seemingly checking on you when the crowd got particularly wild and at other times almost looking smug because of how transfixed you seemed. His lip would curl into a cocky smirk that you didn’t even think he could manage and you’d feel your heart thump alive in a way it never had before.

You spent the next few months following this exact routine with him.

Every week, in the middle of it or sometimes as early as the day after a show, he’d call your house and your mom would yell your name up the stairs. He’d softly invite you to the next show and you’d excitedly tell him that you’d be there, despite knowing he already knew the answer and you knowing he just liked to hear you say it.

Sometimes you’d take your friends with you but eventually you got comfortable enough to go by yourself, you’d be let in early with a small smile to the bouncers and you’d always ask him the same question before he got on stage.

“Are you nervous?” You’d say for the dozenth time even though you knew by now that he wasn’t but every single time his eyes would light up with that fire and passion that you’d been so sucked in by and he’d always repeat the same words back in the same tone.

“I’m excited.”

Heeseung liked it best when you came to his shows so you did it every weekend you were free, even when you’d get too overwhelmed and have to sit in the dressing room or behind the stage if it was available, he just liked knowing you were there to see him and he expressed it to you every single time.

You got closer over that time outside of watching him play too, taking longer to get over that awkwardness you both carried outside of the venues when the adrenaline died down but eventually you’d stopped hanging out solely within your respective groups and started to spend some time alone together.

He’d pick you up in his shitty run down car and your mom would glare at him from the living room window, watching his hair go from pink to blue then to a red that had taken you back a few steps with its brightness when you’d first seen it.

“That’s.. a strong choice.” You’d said after you buckled your seatbelt and you were reaching forward to run your hand through it before you even had a second to think about it.

“My dad hates the color red.” Was all he had responded with and you watched the side of his face as he smiled softly and put the car into drive.

Heeseung wasn’t the most stable person to be around at times but you eventually realized that you’d never felt as comfortable taking up space as you did when you were with him, an addicting feeling that you almost had no choice but to lean forward into and you were thankful that he was always around to catch you.

You’d sit in the basement with the boys as they practiced new songs and Jake had even attempted to teach you to play some songs on the guitar, going to him for help because it felt less intimidating than asking one of the actual guitar players.

It was somehow easy to mesh into their routines and hobbies despite how different you were than them and your most fun high school memories all featured your old friends and new ones hanging out together, all packed into booths at late night diners after a particularly good show or getting makeshift tattoos from Heejin in the familiar basement that you’d spent most of the year in by the time graduation rolled around.

Heeseung was a year older than you and already graduated before you’d met him but he’d made sure to attend and watch you and your friends walk, minus Riki who still had a year left.

You’d all rushed out of the ceremony hall and squished in his car so you could drive across town and watch the rest of his friends at their own school, cheering for them all in your different colored graduation gowns and ignoring the embarrassed look on Jungwon’s face when he gave his class president speech at the beginning.

There were a lot of highs but it all came with lows too and those took you longer to adjust to.

You weren’t exactly sure how to handle it when Heeseung would show up at your house late at night, sometimes bleeding from various places on his face or panting like he’d run all the way there. You’d quickly pull him inside and ignore your moms questioning shout asking who was at the door.

Eventually you had sat her down after dinner and told her that sometimes Heeseung had issues with his dad and he didn’t have anywhere else to go, which was a slight lie on your part but you knew it felt true to him considering he never considered any other options before heading in your direction even if it was across town and a lot less welcoming than one of his friends houses.

She never was a big fan of him, of any of your friends but especially him, despite the gentle way he always said hello to her upon entry and his countless attempts to get on her good side. You’d tried to explain to him that it wasn’t anything personal or anything he was doing wrong and it was just how your mother was but he seemed particularly upset about it despite normally not caring what people thought of him.

“It’s your mom, it’s different.” He was stressing his words to emphasize that it was because she was related to you that it mattered to him and you were furrowing your eyebrows and turning to look at him.

You were sat on your bed together, two months before it happened, and sharing a pair of headphones that was playing a scratchy demo of a song he’d been working on. You were popping the tape out of the device so it would stop abruptly as you sat up a little bit to be able to see his face better.

“Why do you say stuff like that?” You were asking him and he sighed softly like he always did when you begun to pry for answers regarding his behavior towards you.

Despite the way you felt around him and the fact you’d practically become inseparable in the summer following graduation, you’d never directly talked about what your relationship was or even crossed a line that would definitely give you an unspoken answer. Outside of some longing glances and hands resting a little too low on your back, you’d remained pretty platonic other than your own inner thoughts and emotions.

“Don’t know.” He was mumbling softly as he looked at you and you squinted your eyes at him in disbelief but eventually you sighed and shifted back so you were resting against your headboard again, shoulder pressed into his tightly.

When it finally happened, you pretty much assumed that your life was going to abruptly end.

The boys had been growing in popularity now that they were out of school and able to do music full time, still underaged but building enough connections with the local music scene and venues to be able to play more frequently and to older and grittier crowds.

Mixed with the rise of the internet and MTV music videos filled with long haired rockstars and half naked women, it didn’t take long for their talents to get noticed by a few different people who swore they were from the next big company and could guarantee to make Echoes of Riot each millionaires respectfully, offers that were all swiftly turned down by Heeseung (with the advice of Sunoo who had begun to fill a management like role within the group).

You’d never paid much mind to what stardom would mean for the boys despite believing to the deepest part of your heart that they deserved it and were more talented than most the people you heard over the radio. For some reason, some childish idiotic reason, you figured they’d spend the rest of your lives being teenagers playing in bars around your small hometown.

Then one night after a particularly long show, all the boys panting and sweaty as they headed back to their dressing rooms, a man had approached them similarly to the way others did almost nightly.

You knew right away that something was different this time and your friends did too, watching silently as the group stopped in their steps towards the back rooms and actually begun to pay attention to what the man was saying. Heeseung’s eyes were flickering up to yours and you raised your eyebrows at him from where you sat at the bar, shifting out of your seat when he beckoned you closer with a quick flick of his fingers.

The rest of your friends followed you and all of you made your way back to the rooms with the band and the man.

He didn’t seem at all bothered by the additional people in the room as he started to repeat his pitch behind closed doors and your heart started to clench nervously when you realized why he seemed so different.

Min Yoongi actually cared about the music quality and spreading a proper message through your work and performances, opening his monologue with descriptions of how he felt hearing and watching the videos Riki had been posting online of the group and you watched as his eyes twinkled with a passion you’d only ever seen before from the boy sitting next to you.

His hand was resting on your arm and draping over your shoulder on the couch but he couldn’t have been further away from you in that moment, holding onto every word Yoongi was saying and leaning forward occasionally to enthusiastically agree with something he was saying.

It was a jarring change after seeing him barely give the other music people a second of his time for the last few months but you understood that they had this connection you simply weren’t capable of understanding, a mutual trust built through having the same dream and passion and by the end of the first meeting, even without anything even halfway confirmed, you knew things were going to change from then on out.

Yoongi didn’t have a lot of money to invest into the boys but he was dedicated to promoting them and helping them with levels of production you’d only get with decades of experience, upping their discography to even higher levels and it wasn’t long before he was proving himself right.

“Tour?” Your voice was breaking around the word Heeseung had just said, continuing his sentence afterwards but you hadn’t heard a thing he’d said after that, your ears ringing as your face paled. “You’re leaving?”

He was faltering at the unexpected upset in your voice and you would’ve felt guilty for not matching his level of enthusiasm but you couldn’t help the wave of panic overwhelming you as you continued to try and process what he was saying.

“Hey, hey Y/N listen to me.” His voice was soft and you could feel his hand reaching forward to touch and cup your cheek, softly swiping his thumb over your smooth hot skin and shifting on the bed so he was closer to you. “It would only be for a few months, then I’d be coming back. We’d all be coming back.”

You’d somehow not processed the fact that going on tour meant the other boys would be also leaving with him and another wave of sickness swept over you at the realization you’d be losing most of your friends in one swoop, the most constant and positive thing in your entire life since you’d met them.

“I don’t want to leave, baby you know I’d never just leave.” He was quickly continuing when he realized he’d made it worse and your eyes shot up to him at the use of the pet name falling from his lips so casually despite never hearing it directed towards you before. He didn’t even seem to notice that he had said it and he was continuing on despite the surprise on your face. “But… I mean this is it.”

His words were vague but you knew exactly what they meant.

This was the end of the road for the life you’d been so happily living because despite how content and happy you were watching them play small and intimate shows, Heeseung had this hunger for more that would never be satisfied in a place like your hometown.

He didn’t mean to break your heart of course and you were definitely at fault for stupidly falling in love with a rockstar, falling victim to the oldest cliche in the book as you sat at the bus station and cried into Joonie’s shoulder. You watched as their tour bus got further and further out of sight before it was turning a corner and disappearing with all of them on it.

Things were the roughest they’d ever been for the first few months the boys were gone.

Your typical routine had been shattered and you were back to existing like a corpse, moving around from one task to the next with no real excitement or purpose. You’d never necessarily gained one but being around somebody as passionate and driven as Heeseung was like getting a secondhand high and you’d been riding the wave of his interest for the last year, now alone out at sea and stuck scrubbing the counters of a coffee shop in the small downtown area of your city.

You tried to write for the first month or two but eventually it got too hard for you to handle and you started to let Heeseung’s letters pile up. He’d still call your home phone but your mom stopped letting you know when he did and sometimes you’d hear her softly telling him that you weren’t feeling good and she’d have you call back later. She never brought it up and neither did you.

He’d call Heejin and Riki too and sometimes you’d hear his voice when you were talking to Sunoo on the phone. He’d went with them on tour after Yoongi had asked him to be their official team manager, giving him more time to handle the business side of things while Sunoo dealt with their personal schedules and issues. You’d listen to your friend lie and say he was talking to his sister and you’d thank him softly as he sighed and asked why you couldn’t just talk to your shared friend.

You didn’t know how to explain that Heeseung was something you needed to get clean from and hearing from him in small doses would make it ten times harder for you to function.

It was too much to say that his letters kept you awake all night crying as you read about how much he missed you followed by random sketches and song lyrics he was writing about you. They wouldn’t understand why you dropped a full plate of food the first time you heard them on the radio at work or why you stayed up all night to see their first actual interview on TV.

Eventually people stopped mentioning the band to you or at least spoke like the main guitarist and face of the group didn’t exist. It was easy enough to avoid for the first six months and then the articles started to roll out.

The boys hadn’t come home after their first tour and they were “temporarily” staying out in New York where there was more of a network and better opportunities. Part of you was grateful Heeseung hadn’t moved back to town, knowing you’d run into him eventually but you couldn’t stop thinking about him regardless considering the news being put out with his name on the headlines.

“That’s his third fight this week Sunoo.” You were spitting over the phone, balancing it between your shoulder and ear as you aggressively scrubbed at a dish that’d already been clean for the past few minutes. “Aren’t you supposed to be keeping them in check?”

“You don’t think I’m trying Y/N?” His voice was exhausted and desperate and you felt bad immediately for snapping at him, knowing your real anger didn’t result from him. “I have no idea what to do, I’ve never seen him like this.”

All the boys had been subject to some controversy as they continued to gain quick fame and admirers but like always, your brain was laser focused on Heeseung. He was getting into drunken fights routinely and being reported with multiple women who may or may not be fans who like to kiss and tell, photos of him and the other boys looking worse and worse each passing weekend as their rockstar lifestyle truly blossomed into an absolute disaster.

Eventually you started to find yourself ignoring the news again, becoming accustomed to it and already knowing what it was going to be every time Riki sighed entering your job and slid a magazine in your direction.

Three years passed like this and while you had stopped crying every night from how much you missed Heeseung and your other friends, if you could even consider them that considering the lack of communication over the years, you still felt that empty feeling in your skin as you robotically went about your routines and lifeless activities that didn’t hold any real purpose or grand result.

At the end of the third year, stretching into a point where you’d been away from Heeseung longer than you were ever with him, Heejin had told you that the band was back in town.

She’d called you and hesitantly let you know that she had run into Jay at the local grocery store a few hours ago, citing that she hadn’t thought much about it until she was back at her tattoo shop and thinking about you possibly running into one of the boys for as long as they stuck around this time. You’d thanked her for the heads up and then buried your head into your arms in upset, both at how little distance was between you and Heeseung and also regarding the fact Sunoo hadn’t even bothered to tell you they were around.

Half of you expected it, knowing you weren’t teenagers anymore standing in a cold concert line and he didn’t owe you any update on his whereabouts, clearly not telling Heejin either considering her shock upon seeing a familiar face.

Joonie however seemed to know all about it when you hesitatingly mentioned it over lunch with her and Riki after he’d asked you why you seemed so on edge. “Well it’s been on their tour show list for like four months.”

“And you didn’t think to tell anyone?” Riki was voicing your thoughts before you could and his face was curled up in annoyance and betrayal as he shoved a fry into his mouth, clearly just as caught off guard as you and hurt considering he’d also gotten close to the members before they’d left and he was friends with Sunoo for as long as you.

“You always tell me not to talk about them in front of Y/N.” She was whining out and you glanced at the younger boy who looked slightly sheepish as she said something he clearly meant to keep private.

She wasn’t necessarily wrong and you’d grown to realize being around her was going to be hard considering how big of a fan she remained of the band even after their decline into scandal, simultaneously acting like any other fan girl and somehow also constantly bragging to others about how she knew them personally before they’d blown up. Maybe she had mentioned their return at some point but it’d been years since you started to tune her out.

“So they’re not staying?” You were finally speaking again, your voice weak and curious and she gave you a knowing look before nodding and patting your hand.

You weren’t sure why you felt overwhelmingly disappointed that they’d eventually leave again despite the fact you planned to spend the entire time they were here avoiding them and hiding out in your apartment. It was probably for the same reason she was giving you a pity filled look and Riki was picking at the skin around his nails.

It only took a few days for Joonie to push the limit on how much of her interest in the band you could take, answering her late night call to hear her hysterical as she screamed over the sound of passing cars and told you she’d completely stalled on the highway and was going to miss the show.

You told yourself that you began immediately putting on your shoes and grabbing your keys because you were a good friend and you kept repeating it in your head the entire drive to her location, swearing over and over that it had nothing to do with putting yourself closer to Heeseung. Even after her and her two friends had gotten in your car with his face on their tshirts, you swallowed your tongue and promised your heart it wasn’t for any other reason.

It wasn’t because you wanted to see the thousands of fans outside the arena, the show being on the nicer side of town and twenty minutes away from the venues they used to hold small performances for.

They thanked you continuously as you parked and then Joonie was pulling you aside to guilty whisper that you’d need to get your parking validate to be able to leave and return to pick them back up. A wave of nausea rolled over you but you were still convincing yourself you didn’t care so you swallowed your sickness and gave her a tight smile before following them outside the car.

“The booths over there.” She was telling you once you’d gotten inside and she had a wide smile on her face that matched her friends, clutching her ticket and practically beaming with excitement. “So we’ll see you at 11:30?”

“Mhm.” You didn’t trust your voice enough to speak and not give away how you were feeling so you hummed out a response to her question you barely processed before watching them squeal and walk towards the actual check in and entrance.

You rubbed your fingers together anxiously before glancing to your right and sighing seeing the line of people waiting to get their parking validated, teenage girls who looked like they barely could drive mixed in with dads and boyfriends who looked just as exhausted and irritated as you were starting to feel.

For a second you considered just leaving the girls there and asking Heejin or Riki to pick them up afterwards so you could drink yourself delirious and forget you’d ever been this close to the band but your heart clenched thinking about them having to experience the same thing and you told yourself again that you were trying to be a good friend.

You’d been standing in the line for twenty minutes, holding onto your last strand of patience and curiously listening to the fans around you talking about the boys with so much awe and wonderment.

You couldn’t help but smile at some things, hearing them gush about Jungwon’s cheeks or rave about how sexy Sunghoon’s newest guitar was and you felt a bit stupid for the pride filling your chest. You’d been avoiding them and their music, never listening to anything they’d put out in recent years but you felt happy for them knowing they were still igniting that same excitement in people even if they seemed to have lost the passion themselves.

It was almost exactly twenty one minutes later when you were feeling something tap against your shoulder, whipping your head to the side to see who had bumped into you before freezing up completely.

He had a mask on and a hat almost covering his eyes but you knew immediately who it was, eyes widening as you looked at him and then glanced around your surroundings to see if anybody had recognized him too.

“The fans don’t pay much attention to anyone without an instrument.” Sunoo was saying and you could hear him smiling even if you couldn’t see most of his face, breathing out a sigh of relief and pulling him in for a hug before you had a second to think about it.

He accepted it immediately and you were grateful that he wasn’t being distant with you despite the fact that was all you’d shown each other in recent years, melting into your hold as your eyes pricked with tears considering how much taller and thinner he was now. Sometimes when you thought of the boys, they were frozen in time and still teenagers in your head and you felt a bit dizzy as the illusion broke right in front of you.

“How’d you know I was here?” You were whispering out into his chest and then pulling back to stare up at him in amazement, scanning over his covered face.

“Sunghoon saw the hundreds of messages Joonie had sent… she actually had the guts to ask him to pick her up after her car stalled.” He was explaining and you felt embarrassed for your friend even though Sunoo was laughing like it was something funny. You got annoyed with her behavior but she was still your friend and you almost felt offended for her knowing they’d all been laughing at her attempts to reach out, no matter how baseless her connection with them seemed on their side. “We figured that you would’ve been the one to answer her calls.”

“We?” You were asking the second the word fell from his lips and a flash of regret passed over his face. “Do they all know I’m here?”

“Except for him.” He was explaining and you felt his hand squeezing your arm to try and calm you down, a flash of familiarity running through you at the feeling despite slowly recognizing the boy in front of you less and less. “But I imagine one of them is going to slip up sooner or later.”

You were nodding in understanding but your heart started to thump with anxiety and you were grateful that the arena was so full, hoping Heeseung wasn’t dumb enough to run out into a waiting room of fans to try and see you.

“I have to go.” You were practically forcing the words out and your face was pulling into a grimace as you said them, feeling short of breath and dizzy as your past and present finally started to collide despite your years of effort. “Can you…”

You were gesturing towards the parking validation ticket in your hand and he glanced down at it before looking back at your panicked eyes and nodding softly, squeezing your arm one more time before he was taking it and giving you the go ahead to get out of the arena before your chest exploded.

You didn’t know exactly what to say to him, you weren’t sure if this was a see you later or another long term goodbye and he seemed to be thinking the same thing, nodding again when you smiled sadly at him and took a few steps backwards.

Nearly losing your footing as you turned around, you were dizzyingly making your way out of the arenas main center and pushing back out into the chilled air. Your lungs tried to suck in deep breaths and you hurriedly made your way back to the parking garage but you were failing miserably and you eventually gave up all together, pausing in your quick strides and resting again the building with your eyes shut tight.

It wasn’t at all quiet, fans still gathered outside before the show and traffic beeps and honks as people tried to get in and out of the busy area, but your head felt empty and shut down.

The sound of footsteps approaching you crept into your dizzy brain and you took a deep breath before looking up, somehow already knowing who it was going to be without so much as a glance. He was stopping a few feet away from you when you looked up and your legs felt weaker as you stared at him in silence.

He was wearing a mask and a hat like Sunoo and whilst you’d been disappointed earlier about not being able to see your old friends face, now you were extremely grateful for the coverage. It didn’t help much considering you could still see the most recognizable part of him, his big eyes blinking at you in shock.

“You don’t look that surprised.” Heeseung’s voice was shockingly similar to how it was last time you’d heard it in person, the tone only slightly deeper and the only major change being the lifelessness behind his words as he watched you stand up straight.

He was right, for some reason you weren’t at all shocked to see him in front of you but he was in the same spot as you considering he came to find you in the first place. “Should I be? You’re here aren’t you?”

You heard him scoff softly before he was turning his head to look around the area, handful of fans still wandering around but slowly starting to disperse as they made their way insides to find their seats and buy the merch. He was glancing back at you quickly and then he was reaching up to take his mask off.

He didn’t say anything for a while after he took it off and you just stared at him, scanning over his face and the difference that time had handed to him. His features were a lot sharper now, growing into his nose and ears perfectly and you once again were hit with the reality that you’d been apart for a long time and the boy you knew was long gone.

“Sunoo validated your ticket.” He was starting to speak suddenly, awkwardness seeping into his tone due to your prolonged silent stare and you watched him dig into his pocket to retrieve the crumbled up piece of paper the parking machine had given you. “He got busy so I just brought it out.”

“He got busy?” You questioned and took a step forward away from the building, taking it from him swiftly and wincing when your finger brushed against his. “You’re the one in the band.”

He didn’t say anything to that, clearly lying about why he had been the one to bring the ticket out but making no move to correct himself or attempt to be honest with you. You didn’t really mind considering you were in a similar boat, having no real reason to rest again the building like you had other than buying yourself more time in the area.

“You’re not staying?” He was asking and his voice broke slightly which caused a large frown to form on your face, not sure why he had to even ask considering you both knew you weren’t going to watch his show.

“I’ll be back after to..” You awkwardly trailed off and lifted your hand that was clutching the parking ticket, indicating the reason you were there and watching him carefully. “Are you nervous?”

He tensed up as the familiar words fell from your lips and you felt like the air stopped moving for a second before he answered. He’d heard it asked thousands of times since it last was in your voice in that specific tone but it never bothered him before after the first year.

It was asked genuinely by other people, actually wondering if he was feeling nervous or at times doubting his abilities and using it as a way to get under his skin. Nobody ever made the simple question feel as important as you did and he understood why now that he was older and had plenty of time to think about it. You asked him, not because you thought he was or you figured he wouldn’t be able to handle the stage and the pressure, but because you knew it ignited a fire in him.

You’d ask him just to hear him repeat back in a firm voice how excited he was, to see that passion flare up in his eyes and give him an opportunity to voice some solid self confidence before he got up there to perform.

You knew right away that the phrase brought him back as far in time as it did you but your stomach turned at the blank look on his face, nothing arising to the surface at the triggered memory and instead he almost looked like he was deflating as you stood there.

“I’m just… tired.” He was eventually muttering back and clearing his throat before anxiously scratching at the back of his neck, both of you knowing the weight of his unusual answer and preparing to cripple under it once you were out of the suffocating hold his gaze had on you.

The both of you stood there for a few seconds longer before you could hear the screaming getting louder from inside, his head turning towards the building before looking back at you with a defeated expression. You knew without him saying it that he needed to go and that same feeling you had with Sunoo started to creep up again, not knowing what type of goodbye this was.

“There’s a second show tomorrow.” He was rushing out and then chewing on his lip ring as he avoided your questioning gaze. “You’ll be on the list.”

He glanced at you one more time but he seemed to understand that you weren’t going to give him a definite response, nodding his head in conclusion before he was turning around and jogging back towards the side entrance of the arena.

All the air returned to your lungs once he was finally out of sight and then immediately left again once you broke into a heavy sob, stumbling back a bit before quickly gathering your emotions and trying your best to hold yourself together.

You were quickly wiping your tears and glancing around to make sure nobody had been a witness to your abrupt meltdown, reminding yourself why you were there in the first place and heading back to your car like your world hadn’t just been taken off pause.

——

It had only taken you two seconds after the invitation fell from Heeseung’s lips to decide that you were going to go to the show.

He had said it like it was a question but the look in his eye told you that he didn’t think you’d come, but he still had invited you and that stupid part of you felt like that had to mean something. You’d had Riki pick the girls up from the concert that night and you ignored Joonie’s calls and the countless uploads she’d had from the concert.

You didn’t need to see the boys performing like nothing had happened, like your entire life hadn’t been flipped outside down with just a few sentences from the boy you’d tried your hardest to forget about the past few years.

It was a bit hypocritical considering you were currently back at the same exact place you were running from yesterday, this time walking in the opposite direction of the parking validation booth and awkwardly approaching the ticketing line. You felt like an idiot telling the staff that you were on the list, seeing their annoyed expressions and knowing they must hear it a dozen times a night from fan girls trying to get backstage.

“Nice try but there’s only ever been one name on the list and trust me, that seats never been taken.” The man was talking to you in a bored tone and your heart clenched at the implication of what he was saying.

You wondered if it was something Heeseung had done at the beginning of the tour in case you decided to come to one of the shows but he knew you well enough to know you never would and you certainly would never stride in the place without a ticket expecting to be on the list.

Eventually you figured that he had put you on there with the hopes that one day he’d have the guts to invite you and your heart shattered a bit more thinking about the fact that he never did, never even attempting as far as you were concerned and aware of. You cleared your throat awkwardly and rummaged in your bag to pull out your ID and hand it to the man silently.

His eyes flickered down to it for a second before looking back up at your face and you saw a wave of shock come over him, immediately followed by embarrassment for doubting you in the first place.

You gave him an awkward half smile and then an appreciative nod when he was stepping aside and allowing you to enter the main performance area. You were pausing at the top of the entrance way, eyes scanning over the large arena and feeling a bit sick considering how many seats were there and how few of them were empty.

You were starting to regret showing up and preparing to turn around and head back out before the show started but you were snapped out of your panic when your phone was ringing in your pocket. You were snatching it out in hopes that it was one of your friends trying to calm you down but your eyebrows furrowed when you saw it was an unknown number.

Finger hovering over the decline button, you had half the mind to consider the fact it might be Heeseung and you were answering it and putting it to your ear before you had a second to think about it.

“You actually came.” You immediately tensed up when the voice was filtering through the speaker, different and raspier but you knew who it was from the first word.

“How do you know I’m here?” You were dumbly asking and glancing around you like he was going to be standing in the shadows somewhere, frowning slightly when he laughed into the phone.

“He told them to alert him immediately if you ever showed up.” Jake was saying as an explanation and halfway confirming your suspicions about how long you’d been kept on the list despite never coming or reaching out to them. “And you’re finally here.”

“I’m not staying.” You were saying quickly and a rough edge seeped into your voice, something you hadn’t had last time he knew you but he also hadn’t been so cocky and demeaning last time you spoke to him so you were equal in that sense.

He was sighing softly and you paused at the sound, not expecting him to sound so defeated. You’d spoken to Jake more than the others over the years, only a few times but he had come home once or twice to visit family and it was hard to avoid him considering he actively was seeking you and the others out each time.

You weren’t really sure why he kept coming around and eventually you realized that he didn’t seem to know why either, looking more and more lost and less like himself every time you saw him. Jake was always so carefree and happy to be around that time you’d all spent together, genuinely seeming like he felt lucky for all of you and the music they were making together.

This new version of him was the most jarring to you out of everybody else because he had gotten sad and then he had gotten very very cold, almost angry every time you saw him and always feeling like he was on the edge of snapping.

You imagine that helped him out on the stage and you finally felt like he fit the rough drummer image that had been given to him by fans and media despite never making that connection yourself when you had known him. So to hear him sigh softly hearing that you were planning on leaving before they even performed, you were stopping in your tracks and finding yourself willing to hear him out.

“He doesn’t know you’re here yet and he’s driving himself so insane that he’s sick in the bathroom.” He was saying in a lower tone and you imagined that staff and other members were around him considering how soon the show was going to start. “No one can get him to come out but I have a feeling on who might.”

Tears were filling your eyes as he spoke about Heeseung’s condition but you were shaking your head in denial despite the fact he couldn’t see you, wiping your face with your sleeve before whispering back to him in a shaky tone. “I can’t do this Jake.”

“Please Y/N.” He was quickly retorting back and he sounded so similar to how he used to that you felt floored. His tone was genuine and filled with concern for his friend and you’d almost forgotten what he sounded like when he cared about something. “All these years you haven’t answered him, please don’t leave yet. Atleast get him on stage and then you can go and I’ll make sure he can’t find you for the rest of the time we’re here.”

Your breath was catching at the last half of his rushed statement and you were covering your mouth for a second with a shaky hand. It took you a few breaths to think of what to say and he stayed silent on the other line throughout it.

“Promise me.” You were mumbling out and clutching the device so hard you were worried it would crack, hearing nothing on the other side for a bit as your stomach bubbled with thick anxiety. “Promise me you’ll keep him away from me after this.”

It went silent again and you were almost positive that he had hung up the phone before he was speaking again in a defeated tone. “I promise.”

——

If you had gone back to the week before and told yourself that you’d be standing in a room with all of your old friends, you would’ve probably hid under the counter at work and begged future you to leave you alone.

You were trying your best to not showcase the fact that you were absolutely freaking out and filling with more and more devastation every time one of them spoke in their lifeless and annoyed tones, bickering behind you about the purpose of your presence and debating wether it was a good idea or not to allow you to be the one to try and gather Heeseung.

“He invited her for a reason Hoon.” Sunoo was sighing in your defense but he didn’t seem optimistic about it either, barely sparing you a glance since you walked through the door and anxiously checking his walkie talkie every few minutes to try and update the staff.

“Because he saw her yesterday and it fucked him up, he’s not in his right mind.” Jay was snapping before Sunghoon could answer for himself and you flinched at his loud tone, taking a step back when he was standing off the couch and throwing an arm in your general direction to emphasize that it was your fault.

You were frowning deeply at the accusation, not understanding how it could possibly be your fault that Heeseung was having a melt down especially when they didn’t seem that rare for him, his general anxiety and mental health another constant topic in the tabloids.

They continued to argue and you did your best to tune them out while simultaneously trying to ignore the fact Jungwon was silently staring at you from the corner and Jake was only a few feet away from you with his arms crossed. He hadn’t said much to come to your defense but he was continuously shooting you glances like he was trying to monitor your reactions.

You might as well have been in a room full of amped up strangers, possibly high as they paced and jittered about and a part of you felt like you were grieving now that you knew there would be no way to pretend things were still the same, no more pretending time was frozen and nothing had changed.

“Have any of you been able to calm him down this entire time?” You were suddenly asking from near the wall and it was the first time you’d spoken since you’d gotten in there.

The reaction was immediate and varying from each boy, half of them tensing up and looking more frustrated at the sound of your familiar voice and the others almost instantaneously losing the tension in their shoulders with softened eyes. It was like they hadn’t fully processed you being there until you spoke, talking around you in hypotheticals like you imagined they’d been doing over the years.

You wondered if you were a topic they were supposed to avoid mentioning like Heeseung had become for you. Then you selfishly wondered if they’d missed you at all.

Nobody answered for a while and then Jungwon was shaking his head softly, holding your gaze with a sympathetic look that caused you to nod in understanding. “Isn’t it worth a try then?”

“We have 15 minutes.” Sunghoon was saying in that same cold tone he’d been using but it held some level of defeat this time, slumping back into the couch and saying no form of the objection he had voiced so quickly earlier.

You were being directed to a hallway suddenly by Sunoo and before you could say anything or ask why he was ushering you out, he was hastily pointing to a door and scurrying off back towards the dressing room. You didn’t necessarily need him to explain, hearing the soft sobs and gags coming from behind the door now, but you wished he had given you a bit more time to collect yourself or think of something to say.

You took a deep breath and decided to not stall and try to gather some of the might you had the other night, pushing through the door and pausing once you were on the other side of it.

“If I have to tell you to fuck off one more time I’m going to get everybody in this shitty arena fired.”

Heeseung’s voice was coming from one of the stalls and your entire body locked up at the sound of it, never hearing him quite so angry before but also never hearing him sound so empty and wrecked. He was clearly holding back his sobs now that somebody was in there but you could see one of his leather boots poking into the stall next to his, laying on the floor and most likely clutching the toilet.

You were approaching the plastic door without saying anything and tugging on it softly once you were close to it, your fingers curling around the top of it and pulling it towards you with a small shake.

Heeseung’s words about the arena being shitty weren’t necessarily incorrect considering the lock on the door was immediately budging and it was flying open towards you, revealing you standing behind it to his swollen eyes and allowing you to see his frame curled up on the floor in a sickened despair.

He looked beyond surprised to see you and you were almost worried he was going to throw up again just from the shock of your arrival, his body locking up and then immediately tensing even more when you were taking a reluctant step inside the stall with him. You may have been practically strangers with a heavy history now but you still knew Heeseung better than you knew yourself most days and you felt that same comfort and familiarity as you always did.

So you were sinking to the dirty floor across from him and sighing softly, letting your head lean against the wall of the stall and glancing at him hesitantly.

“You came.” He was finally breathing out and his voice sounded tight because of your close proximity, not necessarily touching but the closest you’d been in almost half a decade. He was struggling to sit up but he eventually managed and stretched his legs out in your direction, both of you sitting in the same position across from each other.

“You invited me.” You whispered back to him with a small sad smile that was slipping away as fast as it came. “I was on the list.”

He didn’t laugh but you could tell he appreciated your attempts to lighten the situation, eyes softening slightly at the way your shoulders raised into a small casual shrug.

“What’s happening Heeseung?” You were asking him but you both knew what it was already and you felt just as sick as he looked as you said his name, almost feeling like a swear word as it fell from your lips naturally. “Why are we here right now?”

“You…” He was pausing as his voice shook and you watched him closely, not missing the way he was avoiding looking in your direction and instead staring down at the shaky hands that were picking at his fingers in his lap. “You stopped answering the letters, you wouldn’t talk to me anymore.”

Your shoulders deflated as he spoke in a hurt voice, clearly being bothered by your lack of communication and not at all understanding why you had done it in the first place. You admit that it was a bit childish on your side to completely cut him off without a final conversation but you knew Heeseung would never just let you go like you needed.

“It was only supposed to be a few months Hee, you said you’d come home and you never did.” You tried to keep your tone less accusatory than his but you were also extremely hurt by what he had done.

You’d spend the entirety of your time with Heeseung making him your source of happiness and that was your first mistake because he was always bound to leave. He was always set after something much bigger than your town could ever offer but you guess a stupid part of you thought that you would be enough for him to stay.

You didn’t want him to give up his dreams, it was the entire reason you fell for him in the first place but you just wished time could stay frozen in that summer.

It’d been years and you still could feel him sitting next to you, never smoking with the others because you didn’t even though you knew he did it when you weren’t around. He was always supporting you like that and even though neither of you ever said it out loud, you knew he loved you too. It wasn’t his fault that he loved music more and you could never compare to the feeling it gave him but you tried your hardest.

Sometimes you thought it was working, when he’d come over after practice and you’d lay together in your backyard with its overgrown grass. You’d feel it tickling against your bare skin when you laughed at a stupid joke he made and rolled in the other direction clutching your stomach.

Other times you were once again hit with the reminder that he was only temporary, you’d see him zone out listening over and over to tracks he’d been producing or his eyes would go wide with amazement any time you went to a show that wasn’t his.

And you were completely right about him being temporary up until now, watching him sit across from you with that broken expression on his face that made you sick every time you locked eyes with him. You weren’t sure what exactly started his decline, you felt guilt for playing a large part in it but you didn’t think it would be much difference if you had stuck around his life anyways.

Maybe you would’ve begged him to come home when he started going to star filled parties, too many drugs to avoid and too much pressure to fit in to not indulge. Maybe you would’ve called Yoongi and demanded for a hiatus, giving you some time to come see him or bring him back home for a week or two to calm him and his system down.

Maybe you wouldn’t have ended up on the dirty floor of a public bathroom where he was vomiting his guts out just a few minutes ago. You could’ve been back in your long grass or pressed next to him on his dads old couch, still just as young and just as silently inlove with the boy with pretty pink hair and eyes so wide and amazed you couldn’t help but drink them in.

“I would’ve stayed.” He was finally forcing out the words necessary to snap you from your thoughts, the words you’d been considering for the past few years. “If you told me to stay I would have in a second.”

“And then what?” You were retorting quickly but your tone was weak and sad instead of bitter and iced over, shaking your head softly and giving him another sad smile and humorless laugh as you considered the option. “We grow old together with you secretly hating me for ruining your dreams, I live with the guilt of making you do that.”

“I could never hate you. Nothing could ever make me hate you, trust me I’ve tried.” His tone was the opposite of yours, aggressive and nasty as he spat out the words like they burned but you knew his anger wasn’t directed at you necessarily.

You let the two of you fall into an unfamiliar silence, giving him time to collect himself before he accidentally said something he’d eventually end up regretting even more than he already was.

He didn’t say anything either and he seemed to understand what you were doing, sighing out a shuttered breath before he was scooting forward across the floor until his knees were knocking against yours. You glanced up at him and your face fell at the exhausted look on his face, leaning forward similarly until you could wrap your hands around his and squeeze them tightly with your thumbs rubbing over his calloused skin.

Heeseung was sucking in a breath at the feeling of you touching him and then he was breaking into small hiccuped sobs that left you feeling heavy and lost on what you could do to help him.

You were letting yourself sink back into the past when you were moving forward even more so you could pull him closer towards you, his upper half practically in your lap now as you cradled his head and softly pet his damp hair that was dyed black now and messily falling into his eyes.

Your own eyes were falling shut and you were resting yourself on top of him, half hugging each other and half just giving up and letting the weight of his body and yours combine into a mess of limbs and heavy sobs. It was making you feel both better and worse, feeling him so close again but not knowing if it was the last time and also holding the knowledge that you’d missed such a large portion of time with him like this.

It wasn’t possible to get back everything you’d missed, it wasn’t possible to rewind and start over and you weren’t sure there was any way to prevent this amount of hurt anyways.

You could’ve asked him to stay with you all those years ago but then you’d never see that light within him again and you know it would always be on the back of his mind, his fingers and heart always aching for more than what you could give him and you’d stay up countless nights regretting making him give that up for you.

Maybe if you had answered his letters, picked up his relentless calls and heard him out when he didn’t come home. He could’ve had a good reason or maybe just hearing him finally say he loved you would be enough for you to handle the impossible distance.

So many what ifs that you’d never get the answer to because you weren’t there and you’d never get back there again no matter how much your heart still held onto the past and your love together.

Instead you were here and this was where the road with him had led you, cradling each other as the crowd cheered for him outside and it fell on your deaf ears. You knew he wasn’t going to let you go and you weren’t going to make him, you weren’t going to make him choose again and you didn’t know if that would be enough this time but you listened to him cry and prayed it would be.

Heeseung sung out a choir of sobs and gasps into your chest and you knew you would stay with him for as long as he needed you too, until his cries died down or your legs went numb.

Until the cheers fell into silence and the fans went home for the night disappointed, at least holding the knowledge that the music would still be there tomorrow.

You still weren’t positive that he was really here with you and he still felt as fleeting and temporary as he did when you first had met him, wide eyed and stuttered conversations. It was only a small flicker of hope and comfort that your love for him was the most permanent thing you’d ever experienced.

And that small flicker was more than enough for you.

[brights-place]

Can you do (Separate) Prince D, Cooper, and King trollex experiencing love at first sight with their future S/O

Love at First sight

Pairings: Prince D X Reader, Cooper X Reader, Trollex X Reader, Synth X Reader

Warnings: Fluff

A/N: I haven't written in so long I'm sorry times have been TOUGH but I also forgot about the account but if you don't mind I also added Synth because THESE ARE MY TOP 4 TROLLS CHARACTERS THAT I LOVEEE!! but I think I'm pulling away from Trolls abit and I'm being dragged into my old hyperfixations WHICH IS WILD!! because I loved trolls since well it came out

Prince D

- You met Prince D with Cooper since you saw him escaping and told him you would come along since he was your best friend and you wanted to take care of him cause you also knew he was... different - So imagine getting abducted with him to see a male who looked EXACTLY like Cooper but he had a more chilled, laid-back face yet his eyes were staring at yours. - Love at first sight as your eyes shined at eachother like a zing as you both couldn't help but feel warm inside (HOTLE TRANSALVANYA HINT YA KNOW!! ZING!) - The male has gold tinsel-like fur on his neck. He has shorter and thicker dreadlocks than Cooper, which appear to have rings of gold on them and also wears an earring on his left ear, which matches the one worn by the older looking male troll beside him. - Your eyes shifted back to coopers who stood out beside you as you whispered to cooper to be careful you learnt everything about them from there genre to who they were - You stood beside cooper the whole time who heard his whole past and how they were looking for him the whole time while your jaw dropped eyes wide when glancing at cooper before your hands played with your fingers - You seemed to smile when you noticed he considers himself to be Hip hop rather than just Funk, and accepted Cooper considering himself both Pop and Funk after Cooper said that one doesn't have to be just one thing.

- When they were sent off you made sure to stay beside cooper you wanted to help your best friend and his family

- You and Prince D were dancing together vibing with the music smiling as you glanced towards Prince D who was singing with his mother before singing with you making you laugh - You and Prince D soon gotten closer after awhile - when you two hangout you lay against him when your both just sitting down playing with his hair out of boredom and sometimes adding some colorful beads beside the golden rings on his dreads - You like hearing the random beats he makes or snippets of some songs of hiphop and enjoy staring at him - After awhile you two were developing feelings for eachother which was very hard for Cooper to deal with cause well he tried so hard not to burst out the secret of you two liking eachother even though it was very difficult for him cause he finds it confusing how oblivious you were

- When you started to get too close almost seeing around each other with you smiling around him and clinging to his side as you blabbered away as he listened nodding his head - when someone gets the Cool laid back prince D jealous you giggle because he likes to look away with a slight blush with a pout on his lip if you point out - You love to make up some little dances that follow along to Prince D's beats just to get him to snort-laugh and smile at your shenanigans. - You and Darnell went on dates pretty often you already hung out constantly but you two had actual dates 2-3 times a week! - even if your diffrent trolls he cares for you ALOT your his partner after all Pop, Rock, Country, etc etc! he doesn't care he loves you for you - You would do stuff beside him if he is busy and would show off your works to him if you were an artist or did something cool. He enjoys how you explain how your day went. - Cuddles are amazing as he smiles at you evertime - If he finds any cool stickers that you would like he would get them and hand them to you as a gift or would find little thing slike pins or keychains and hand them to you as a way of him showing he remembered you - You end up visiting eachother alot and when you went to visit prince D he asked you out on date as you stared at him turning around screaming and turning back to him nodding "I would like that!" "Cool its a date"

Cooper

- You met cooper when poppy introduced you two too eachother since you were a baker and needed some help - so when poppy motioned for cooper to come in but he tripped and started laughing you couldn't help but star at him with wide eyes as your hand quietly grasped where your heart was for a slight moment feeling warmth grow on your cheeks. - Your eyes shined when meeting his as a Zing was felt a love at first sight when poppy left you showed him around - He helped you out with baking but he just daid to scare him and you failed cause he expected it but when you accidentally shut out the lights he screamed and pooped out cupcakes causing you to stare at him like an wild animal - Cooper's style of comedy is non-sequitur, meaning that he's silly often for the sake of being silly which you love about him - When you get tired though he lets you rest on him as he continues talking and laughing like always - He can't help but continue to laugh everytime when you make a little stupid thing but when you look sad he makes sure he does something stupidly sweet in return - You end up being around each other a lot and when you went to visit cooper he asked you out on date as you stared at him turning around screaming and turning back to him nodding "I would like that!" "Cool its a date" he laughed happily stomping his feet as you giggled cupping his face in your hands

Trollex

- You met king trollex at a rave - Trollex and Techno Beat Drop Button are best friends so it's obvious he's gonna talk to him about how he feels about you and how amazing you are when you start dating and when you weren't - You met at one of his raves you were dancing near the front with other techno trolls cheering - He loved your smile and how you danced around literally grinned wider when you two made eye contact as your heart swelled beating at the same time of the techno music - He told Synth to take over and wanted to get to know you... Literally swam towards you and welcomed you happily ( If your an different genre he would ask questions and if your an fellow techno troll he'd ask why he hasn't seen you around ) - when he stared at your eyes properly he couldn't help but stare with wide eyes as he felt his heart beat glow brighter when seeing you smile as you couldn't help but giggled staring at the heart on his chest that was beating faster - he likes to be around you he gets to be himself but you make sure he doesn't get out of hand and he loves it he's laid back and likes to vibe with you - You both get closer and vibe alot - As soon as you both hangout a month later he ends up rambling and trollex he ends up well he asked you out on date as you stared at him turning around screaming and turning back to him nodding "I would like that!" he spun you around and twirled you around as he grinned happily peppering your face with kisses

Synth

- Synth and You when you met? it was on a pier - You were listening to music and blasting the beat tapping your finger against the pier to a beat unaware of synth below who was trying to figure a beat out - When you played a beat he paused and pressed a button and when you continued to tap or stomp when listening to music he perks up and it becomes a good beat and he can't wait to show it off - You know when you listen to a tyoe of music so you go into your room and secretly dance or walk around thinking of a plot line or hyperfixating on an imaginary scene yeah that was you (I DO THAT PELASE DON'T TELL ME IM THE ONLY ONE) - Once he made the beat he jumped up from the water and spoke loudly causing you to scream but he apologized but it was super happy to get out of his music block - you soon got to know eachother for hours and end up always meeting at the pier - After a week He invites you to the rave where he was gonna preform the song he got the idea from you and you were like fuck it - Tell him what you really like and he will take his time he never starts an fight at all and would take it step by step but when your close to fighting he'll walk over slowly and whispering affirming words to make you calm down which works if you can't handle loud noises

- Synth wasn’t the most emotionally aware troll so he finds it hard to understand your emotions sometimes

- It takes him awhile but he gets there just for you and just to see you smile again cause if your not smiling he wouldn’t know what to do. - You were incredibly attracted to Synth's carefree, upbeat attitude and sense of humor. You love that Synth is always ready to brighten your day and make you laugh. - Synth took you to a rave and smiled as he cupped your face and kissed you on the spot before panicking and he starts asking you out and you both end up being flustered and nodding when he asked you to go on a date "I would like that!" he cheered placing a glow stick necklace around you to pull you into a kiss.

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[modanisgf]

15. SUNFLOWER (WRITTEN)

y/n hated being a vigilante. she constantly thought about how much better her life would be if she never got bit.

like currently, instead of swinging around seoul trying to stop something that was anything but human she would be with danielle enjoying herself. but unfortunately, life never seemed to go her way as she had to excuse herself from her date with her girlfriend to save the city once again.

it seemed like the world hated her as her hero work got more intense after she started dating dani, and y/n dreaded the day she found out. it was getting more obvious as time went on, y/n constantly having to leave hangouts early and spider-woman showing up on the news.

one time when lesserafim was on break, y/n was living with her parents and her brother again. her and danielle had an outing planned, they had to postpone it because y/n’s parents ‘wanted her to help them’ with building a shed but when she called sunoo he had something different to say.

“sunoo?” danielle called, the boy answering immediately after.

“what’s up danielle?” he said.

“do you know where y/n is?”

“oh she’s not home right now, something about getting groceries.” sunoo said finally, making danielle’s heart drop.

“oh alright thank you.” she said quickly before hanging up.

she knew it now, y/n was hiding something from her.

it wasn’t just coincidences that she could just dismiss anymore, it was something big. if even her family didn’t know, what the hell was she hiding? danielle decided to not ask about it or hint at anything for a bit hoping that maybe y/n’s parents just asked her to go get them.

she was just reaching, right?

all of this led up to now, when you had to leave again promising danielle that you would go on a proper date next time.

“do you pinky promise?” she had asked.

“i pinky promise.” you said interlocking her pinky with yours.

and then you were off, on your way to fight another villain that didn’t seem real. another thing that had happened once you became more popular was the rise of paranormal activities. more and more unnatural things continued to happen to the citizens of seoul and especially you.

you knew all spider-mans were typically different in terms of extra abilities, but the persona you related to the most as of now is miles morales.

just a week ago, you were mid fight and when you prepared to attack electricity was all around your arm seemingly enhancing your damage. the guy you were fighting passed out after one more hit making you stare at your hands in awe. was that really you?

due most of your time being devoted to getting most of your information about the spiderverse from online or in comic books, you near instantly noticed this power related to miles morales your favorite spider-man.

okay maybe yunjin was right you are a nerd but it’s okay, being one helped you survive the hell that is being spiderman.

but speaking in terms of the present, right now you were fighting something like the prowler. though you refused to actually call it the prowler because you were afraid. afraid you had the same fate as the other spidermans.

you didn’t what you would do if you found out one of your family members was behind there, that would mean you were hurting your family. yunjin constantly told you it wouldn’t be your fault but the thought still lingered in your mind.

you never accepted things easily, and one day it would come to bite you in the ass but for now.

you just had to make it through the day.

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taglist (open): @haerinsloverr @kaypanaq @idkwhatim-doinghere101 @pandafuriosa60 @thefckghost @haerinkisser @amesification @nnewjeansstuff

[undeadorion]

Fall to be Free

Chapter 1 — The Door

Fandoms: Ghost (the band), original characters

Word count: 5,010

Warnings: cults, satanism, brief descriptions of abuse

So I wrote the most self indulgent thing. I AU’ed Ghost into my own world with my OCs. Because I had to.

The world is the setting of a comic I’ve been working on (I’ve had the characters for like 20 years). The basic concept is that it’s the late 90s in a slightly sci-fi-ish version of our world. And people with special abilities are common place. So the Papas (who are each their own person, not played by Tobias in this world but still a band) have some very special powers.

Dane drags Crawford to a small Ghost show at a record shop, and Crawford gets the Cirice treatment. Totally on accident and by chance.

Crawford followed Dane towards whatever the other had in mind. Dane hadn’t exactly explained what they were doing. A lot of rambling, a mention of making a “few stops” before hitting their usual bar. The fact that they were out at 3 in the afternoon left Crawford suspicious that these few stops would not be quick. He was more irritated that Dane thought he had to be sly to get Crawford to go anywhere with him than being simply outright. “Hey, let’s hit the record store for a while” is so much easier to say than the ten minute lead up he got instead. 

Because the record store was exactly where Dane led him. Crawford didn’t even realize that’s where they were until Dane was opening the door. He should have recognized it, he was here nearly every week, but the street was usually rather quiet. It was a hole-in-the wall sort of place, the door tucked away in an alcove so shadowed it looked like the service entrance for the restaurant around the corner on the more main road. Except today the street was teaming with people. A large bus dominated the parking spaces across the street, the sort of private affair with fancy cloth seats. Every other parking spot was filled as well, with people hangout out between and around the cars, on the sidewalks, even in the street. 

There were quite a few among the loiterers in black and white face paint. Metal heads, he thought, just as the pounding bass from inside the store hit his ears. The dread hit him that Dane was trying to drag him into some sort of concert. But Dane wasn’t into metal of any kind, not even in the slightest. Was the show just a coincidence?

“You can wait out here if you want,” Dane was saying, the door only open a crack. “There’s a shit ton of people in there, and I know how you feel about that sort of thing.” As he spoke, he pulled the door open a bit more. 

Crawford cocked his head to the side as he could hear the music better. It had a clarity he wasn’t expecting. The singer was neither screaming nor growling, and their voice easily lifted above the instruments. He couldn’t pick out the actual lyrics with all the noise on the street, but he could hear enough that it made him curious why this music had attracted the crowd gathered outside. 

Inside wasn’t any better. People crushed in shoulder to shoulder, making the already poorly ventilated store hot and damp. There was just enough space at the back to squeeze between the writhing crowd and the rack of CDs and records. People trod on his boots and knocked into him, but he just shoved them back into the crowd and they didn’t seem to notice. 

When Dane finally stopped at section of cassettes (it’s all his car could play), Crawford was able to catch his breath. It was an awkward corner where people hadn’t quite squeezed into. At the other side of the store, he could see the band that was the cause for such chaos. It couldn’t even really be called a band, really. It was just three people. The singer flanked by two men in masks, one with a guitar and the other a bass. The singer was almost entirely monochromatic in stark blacks and whites, except for the small portions of visible skin. Black hair, black jacket, white shirt, and his face painted vaguely to resemble a skull with bold geometric shapes. He spoke to the audience with a thick accent, something about it being his first time, only to clarify he meant in this city. This transitioned into the next song somehow, a very different style than the last. He was still wrapping his head around the tonal shift, when the singer pulled out something from his pocket, the yellow object standing out starkly against his white gloved hand. 

The sound of a kazoo floated out over the music, leaving Crawford completely and utterly baffled. Even more confusing was the reaction of the crowd. They screamed and howled as if it was the best thing they’d ever seen. Even though Crawford could only see them from behind, there were marks of it being a more hardcore crowd. A lot of black clothes and metal spikes, and patches as crudely sewn as his own. One guy bellowed “HAIL SATAN!” from somewhere in the crowd. All in response to a man playing a kazoo in the middle of a song that used the word “zombie” a lot. 

He turned to Dane to ask how much longer he would be, only to find the other not even looking at the tapes. Sure, he hand his hands on them, but he was half turned so he could look over his shoulder at the man on stage. Whatever harsh words were on Crawford’s tongue died immediately. He’d never seen his friend make such an expression. It almost like Dane were in pain, a deep and unspeakable pain, but softer. Even in the poor lighting of the alcove, his eyes glistened as if threatening to shed tears. With a heavy sigh, he rolled his eyes. 

Dane wasn’t exactly a brave person. He often needed a chaperone to do anything even remotely social. The idea of squeezing into a small record shop full of devil worshiping metal fans wasn’t something he could do alone. And Dane knew Crawford wouldn’t willingly walk into such a situation either. But it was obvious this was some band that Dane liked enough to even take a risk on it. 

“You’re a fucking asshole, you know that?” Crawford growled, before grabbing Dane by the shoulder and shoving him toward the crowd. He let out a yelp of protest before he disappeared into the crush of bodies. He’d be fine. Probably.

But before Crawford could step back to the safety of the alcove, someone bumped into him from behind. Half a step forward was all it took before he was also absorbed into the crowd. The zombie kazoo song had ended and everyone was jostling for the singers attention, shouting responses to questions Crawford couldn’t hear. It seemed that his every attempt to push back toward safety cause the crowd to surge and push him deeper. In desperation, his fingers clawed toward painted faces and studded leather. But no one seemed aware of him, enraptured in whatever was being said. 

No, the music had started up again. Softly at first. A few bass notes dropped and a stillness rippled through the crowd. Just for a moment, everyone hushed in anticipation. As the instruments started in earnest, the stillness broke and everyone crushed even closer. 

Suddenly, open space. 

Crawford froze, hands gripping some sort of rail. He was at an edge of the crowd. But he was still trapped. Before he could even begin to think of which way was out, he realized it wasn’t just any rail. All he registered in the song was the word “rumble” before his eyes focused on the shiny black shoes mere inches from his hands. Black shoes, white spats, black pants. Slowly, he lifted his gaze from the shoes, expecting to see the singer looking out over the whole crowd. But instead, he found himself staring directly into that painted face. No, not just his face. He wasn’t addressing the front row. He was staring directly into the man’s mis-matched eyes. 

“I can see the scars inside you.”

It was just a line from the song, but somehow it felt as if the man were speaking to him and only him. His gaze unwavering. A gloved hand gesturing as if to say “this is about you, only you. No one else.”

Crawford felt something in his chest. His heart pounding like a caged bird desperate to escape. No longer aware of the sweaty bodies crushing against him. Barely aware of the music. It was just him and the man who was so recently wielding a kazoo. 

Even as he saw nothing but that starkly painted face, he had the oddest sensation he was standing in a hallway. A hallway lined with doors of different styles. Some had windows, some even stood open. He had the sense they could all be opened with just a touch. Except one. The one directly in front of him. He knew, the way one knows things in dreams, that it had always just been an empty wall. That this wasn’t a place where a door was, despite being the only stretch of blank wall in the entire corridor. But now…now there were cracks in the paint. He reached out a hand, his fingers brushing the cracked and peeling paint. Pieces fell away, larger than such a gentle touch should have caused. They cracks grew, spreading the cascade of old, dry paint and rust. There stood a door. A massive, metal door held shut with a rusted iron lock. Scratched into the metal was a large symbol, off center and crooked. Newer than the door itself, but the lines still starting to rust. Two intersecting lines, with an incomplete circle around the point where they crossed. Above it, something else was scratched into the metal. Words of some sort? He ran his fingers over them, but before he could begin to make them out an elbow jabbed him in the ribs.

The dream? Illusion? Hallucination? burst like a bubble. In that split second of awareness, he could have sworn there was a blue glow in the man’s white eye. Maybe it was just the lights glinting. He was also aware that he hadn’t just reached out in the dream. The singer had dropped to one knee and was gripping Crawford’s hand firmly. But that vanished as quickly as the strange dream, as a young woman had been the one to bruise his ribs in an attempt to offer her own hand to the singer. 

As Crawford stumbled back, dazed, he swore he saw fury in the man’s face, his dark upper lip curling into a snarl as the young woman waggled her long painted nails at him, begging for him to hold her hand, too. It was a fleeting moment as she was quickly ignored, the singer smoothly moving back to his feet to continue the song as if nothing had happened. It was the same song, still. Surely he had stared at that illusory door for longer than it would take to finish  a song, but he had the sense it hadn’t even been the length of an entire verse.

He could feel the memory of the door fading, like trying to hold water in his hands, the way dreams fade so very fast. No, this was different. Usually he could hold on to a piece or two, but it was as if the memory were being sucked away down a drain as he desperately tried to hold on to some piece of it. He let the crowd push and pull him, drifting like a rudderless boat on the water, as he tried to remember what he’d seen. A door where there wasn’t a door? That didn’t make sense. A message? Scratches? A symbol of some sort? He felt as if it were staring him in the face but he couldn’t place it. Like a shape taunting him from the corner of his vision that wasn’t there when he turned. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Dane’s voice cut through the noise as his fingers dug into Crawford’s arm. 

“What?” was all Crawford could manage. 

Dane managed to pull them both the rest of the way through the crowd and into the safety of the alcove once more. 

“How the hell did you get all the way up there?!” Dane managed to sound giddy and devastated at the same time. “And to be chosen like that…” He let out a whimpering sigh that was probably meant to be exaggerated or sarcastic, but even Crawford could see the envy in it. 

“What’s the big deal? I tripped. He probably thought I was reaching for him or something.”

“No!” Dane scolded. “It’s a whole thing. He only does it to one person per show! Not only cause what the song is about but it’s what happened in the music video. Papa picks one person to sing to like they’ve been chosen as someone special. Half the people in that crowd would trade vital organs to have been in your place.”

“So it’s just an act? It’s not like some mind control shit?” He still couldn’t shake that vague memory of doors. 

“It’s ALL an act,” Dane said with a scoff, as if it should be obvious. “Papa Emeritus III, the anti-pope of a satanic cult using music to overthrow governments and take over the world.” He let out a chuckle as if it were ridiculous to even consider something like that were real. “It’s all a schtick, but it’s pretty fucking hot.”

“If you’re into that sort of thing.” He glanced back to the stage and could have sworn the singer was watching him over the heads of everyone else. No, it couldn’t be.

“Hell yeah,” Dane said, wistfully as he watched the singer. “I’d let that man break me in half and I’d thank him for it.” He started detailing things he’d do for the singer, with increasing lewdness. But Crawford barely heard a word of it. He had the unsettling sense that every time the singer cast his gaze across the crowd, it lingered on himself. And not just for a brief moment. For entire lines of a song, it felt. That was impossible. He was a nobody and he didn’t even care about this band, so why would he even suspect a thing like that?

“What’s that symbol?” He asked, so suddenly he wasn’t entirely sure for a moment where the curiosity came from.

“What symbol?” Dane said, shaken out of his perverse musings.

“This!” Crawford grabbed the sleeve of a man’s jacket. On his shoulder was a sort of upside down cross symbol that struck Crawford like a punch to the gut. 

“Fuck off!” The man to whom the jacket belonged, jerked his arm away from Crawford.

“That’s just one of the band’s logos,” Dane said with a shrug, obviously not seeing anything deeper in it. 

Was that why it was familiar? Because now Crawford could see it was everywhere in the shop. On patches and necklaces and mingled into the promotional artwork hung on the walls. He shook his head as if he could shake off the weird feeling that it was important somehow. 

———

The rest of the show was only a few more songs. Needing time to think, Crawford convinced Dane he’d be fine and to actually go enjoy himself. What he really wanted to do was slip outside for a smoke. But something told him to stay there. That he was missing something. He wasn’t the sort to give a shit about celebrities, and this guy wasn’t even proper famous. Half a step above a basement show where no one cared about who the band was as long as they played something decent. So why the hell did he feel like the singer was actively watching him? It wasn’t necessarily a feeling of paranoia, but something twisted in his gut. Why couldn’t Jackie be here? She’d knock some sense into him and call him a paranoid idiot for it.

Finally, the singer went into some ramble about orgasms as a lead up to a song about a clock. At least that’s as far as Crawford could tell. He wasn’t paying very close attention, trying to shake off the feeling he was being watched and the relief that he could leave this surreal experience behind him. 

As the singer said his goodbyes, bowing and blowing kisses to the crowd, Dane staggered out of the loosening crowd. He was a sweaty mess, shaking slightly from exertion, but looking like he was having the time of his life. “Thanks, man,” Dane said with such genuine gratitude it seemed like he might cry. “I mean it, I really, really mean it.” He leaned on Crawford in a sort of half hug. Crawford suspected it was mostly to keep from falling over. 

“C’mon, let’s get out of here,” he said, an arm across Dane’s back to guide him towards the door. But he didn’t get two steps before bumping into a wall of black. A wall of black topped in silver. 

Two figures dressed like the musicians who had been on stage stood before them, stock still and facing them. These two definitely hadn’t been the ones on stage, both considerably wider in a way that suggested pure muscle. 

“You mind making room, assholes?” Crawford growled. He tried to step to the side, only to be met with another masked man. Both he and Dane staggered, stepping back to find another way only to discover another three behind three behind them. Six in total, boxing them in. All six facing them, and letting everyone else flow around them.

Rough, strong hands grabbed them from all sides, half dragging them through the dispersing crowd. No one seemed to take notice of this, chatting and celebrating amongst themselves. Ignoring Crawford and Dane’s shouts of protest as the masked goons forced them toward the back of the record shop. 

The fresh air should have been a welcome relief as they passed into the narrow alley out back, but all Crawford felt was a rising terror. Especially as he saw where they were headed. The singer stood there, talking with the two masked men from the stage as they packed up their instruments. He held a cigarette in his gloved fingers, looking as casual as if they were all just friends and there weren’t six men dragging people out to be presented to him.

“Oh, there you are,” the man with the painted face said, his voice just as accented as it had been on stage. Maybe that part wasn’t an act. 

“What’s the meaning of this!?” Crawford demanded, trying to pull free of the men who held him, but their grip didn’t budge. 

“Papa…” Dane breathed out. “It’s an honor…”

“You, my friend,” the singer said, pointing with his cigarette toward Crawford, “Have quite the gift. And you can’t even see it.”

“What the fuck’re you talking about?” Crawford growled. If the man behind him weren’t so tall, he could have nailed him in the balls with the heel of his boot to make him let go. He doubted a blow to the shins or knees would even be felt.

“That little song of mine, it’s…well, it’s mostly metaphor. A bit of exaggeration. But like with all forms of art, some parts of it are completely true.” A faint smile played over his lips as he regarded the two held captive before him. “The part that’s true is I can see into people’s hearts. Truly.”

“Fuckin’ exo…” Crawford didn’t care that people had abilities that he’d never have access to, but he hated when they acted like they were somehow special. Exos, phenoms, moxies, specials, metahumans, whatever term was used, it didn’t mean they were extra ordinary. Some people could do advanced calculus in their heads, some people could paint, some people can create fire with their bare hands. It didn’t make them special. 

“Do you often speak of yourself with such derision?” 

“I’m not a fuckin’ exo,” Crawford snapped. “He is,” he nodded to Dane. His friend who could change shape at all, but usually just turned into some sort of dog.

Dane was about to say something, but the singer placed a single gloved finger on Dane’s lips and he fell utterly silent. “Oh yes, I am aware of this,” he said, leaning closer to Dane’s face. “And so very eager.” His voice dropped to just above a whisper, “If you’re a good boy, you might have a chance to show your appreciation for your Papa…” he leaned closer still, his painted lips brushing Dane’s ear as he whispered something Crawford couldn’t hear.

Swallowing hard, Dane nodded, his face completely flushed. “Y-yes, Papa…” his voice trembled as he spoke. 

“But you,” he turned back to Crawford. “I can tell simple devotion is not in your…” he gestured vaguely with the cigarette. “…nature, as it were.”

“Get to the point, old man.” The more he spoke, and at this distance in the natural light, Crawford could more clearly tell the age beneath the makeup. The stark black and white did a lot of work to mask it, but there were deep lines in his face, especially around his eyes. From the back of the record shop, Crawford would have placed the man closer to his own age of 26. But at this distance it was obvious he was more than double that age. 

The man gave a slight nod as if it were a statement of fact and not an insult. He took a slow drag off his cigarette before continuing. “You remember the door, do you not?”

Crawford was barely aware of Dane asking “what door?” as he felt the floor drop out from under his feet. The memory had almost completely faded, and now rushed back with shocking clarity. 

“Ah, now you do remember. These doors you see, they’re all those things that make you, well, you.” As the man spoke, Crawford had the sense of walking side by side with him along that corridor of doors. “You have a lot of anger in here, do you not? But it is not without reason. Oh…” As if the man were peeking into a room that Crawford could not see into. “You are quite the talented musician yourself, Crawford Stone.” Hearing the man speak his name without even a vague introduction made it fell all too real, like the wind had been knocked out of his lungs. “Let us hope you do not take my job, huh?” 

A sound emanated from the masked men at the joke. A sarcastic sort of laughter. It was the first sound any of the had made and it lasted only a moment. 

“But that is not what we are here for, no.” He stepped closer, his back rigid and yet only coming up to about Crawford’s chin. Fingers grazed that chin, such a gentle touch yet forcing Crawford to look down into the man’s eyes. There were no stage lights here, yet there was that strange blue glint in the white eye. “No, we are here for a very special door.” 

In a sudden breathless flash the scene was as real as the alley. He and the man stood before the metal door marked inexplicably with a crude version of the band’s inverted cross logo. “This door!” the man exclaimed, gesturing to it with both hands. “Well, the door is not special. It is the thing behind this ugly thing that is special.”

“Why is it here?” Crawford’s head swam with questions. In a way he understood what he was seeing. There weren’t really any doors. It was just a way to see what was inside his head. But why would one of them be so hidden and locked? Why would he forget it so easily when he knew the things in the other rooms so well. 

“Someone put it here, of course.” The man ran his fingers over the carved symbol. His gloves were no longer, but skin tight black leather with gold claw-like nails attached. “By someone not exactly in our church, but affiliated perhaps. Someone who knew we would be the ones who might save you, my friend.” 

As the man pressed his whole had to the door, Crawford felt a stabbing pain in his head. He dropped to his knees and the whole corridor shook. The man jerked his hand back, eyes sweeping the space. “So that is why…” His fingers tapped his chin as he surveyed the door. “This will be no easy task to undo.”

“I don’t think you should be touching it,” Crawford growled, his head still throbbing.”

The man shook his head, clicking his tongue. “Sometimes, if a man is shot in the head or in the chest, he can live with that bullet inside of him. The body covers it. Encapsulates it. That is what you have done.”

“I didn’t do this. You did.”

“The door you did not do, nor the lock. But hiding it, resisting it, that is you. Well, mostly you. The door, it whispers ‘forget about me, don’t look at me’ and you were very good at doing that. So good you will slowly forget if you are not looking directly at it.” 

Crawford started to protest, but the man interrupted him. “Stop talking and listen. I showed you this door, and what is written upon it. Within the hour, you forgot even the symbol carved into it. Even now you fight to get away, to not even speak of it. But it is not fear that keeps you away, it is something else. It is…a twisted obedience. But not to me or mine…” He was watching Crawford’s face with those mismatched eyes, studying him intently. “To he who hurt you so deeply. He who gave you so many scars…” His fingers brushed first the scar under his right eye. A gift from his step father, landing a back-handed slap across his face so hard it knocked him flat on his back. The gems of his ring gouging a chunk of flesh from under his eye. He’d only been sixteen. 

The man’s finger trailed down to his lower lip next. Another scar from the same source. He’d come home one afternoon with his lip pierced, in a fit of rebellion against his step father. The man had used a knife to forcibly remove it, instead of just removing it properly. Anyone so much as asking about those scars would have had Crawford biting their heads off. But as the man’s gloved fingers caressed the scars, it was like something inside him broke. There was a tenderness in that touch that he hadn’t felt in so long. 

Slowly he dropped to his knees, everything in him feeling so very heavy. As he looked up to the man before him, blurry through tears he refused to let fall, he felt no judgement for this. “He did this?” he asked, his voice softer than he expected. 

“It would seem he had it done,” the man said, stepping back and turning his attention back to the door. “I thought my own father a real motherfucker sometimes. But this…this is a cruelness only a righteous man can dream up.” 

“Why…” was all Crawford could manage before his voice gave out.

“Greed. Hubris. Pride, perhaps. I’ve not had the…pleasure,” the word dripping with sarcasm, “of seeing much of this father of yours was like, just the rage you feel for him.”

Crawford shook his head, trying to get his thoughts straight. “No, why…why do you care?” He had never asked the question so earnestly. This man was the frontman of a moderately popular band. Crawford wasn’t even a fan, but he’d still been singled out. 

“Because of this.” He ran a clawed fingertip along the barely legible words that accompanied the cross symbol.

“I can’t read it,” Crawford admitted.

The man looked at him, seemingly with concern, before his shoulders relaxed. “Ah…” as if he understood. He read over the words again, then nodded. “Well, essentially, it’s a sort of ‘If found, return to the Ministry’ message.” He thought for a moment, the turned away from the door. “It is much too complicated to fix here.”

Crawford became aware of the alley around him once again. It was like the lights coming on after a movie. Like the physical setting had stopped being important but still there while wrapped up in the big glowing screen. He was no longer being held by the large masked man, instead on his knees, slumped against the singer’s shoulder as if he’d fallen asleep. 

Straightening up, dazed, he looked around for his companion. Why hadn’t he said anything. The deep strumming of an instrument caught his attention. Dane was standing around with a few of the masked men, with one of their instruments in hand. He was showing off what his long, slender fingers could achieve on the bass, working through some surprisingly complex riffs. Crawford hadn’t heard Dane play since they’d been in high school, foolishly planning to start a band of their own. Apparently he’d still been practicing. 

“We have a small church here in the city,” the singer held up a business card before tucking it in the pocket of Crawford’s jeans. His arm was still under Crawford’s arm and across his back. “I want you to visit them. They will be expecting you.”

“What—“

“I will be paying your city one more visit, in a few weeks, before I return to my home. You will be going with me, then we can fix what is inside that head of yours.”

“What—“

“Have your things packed when I return.”

“I can’t leave the city!” he protested, finally.

“Oh, we won’t be leaving the city, we’ll be leaving the country.”

Crawford was left scrambling to his feet, trying to protest, but the man walked away to gather his minions. 

“Be good, my little pet,” he said to Dane, caressing his cheek. “And you might get to come with.” One of the masked men caught the bass as it slipped from Dane’s hands. Before either of them could utter a word, the man and his followers slipped back into the record store’s back door, taking their instruments and other equipment with them. 

“I don’t think that cult thing is an act…” was all Crawford managed to say, as Dane just stared at the closed door as if he wanted to chase after them.

[bluepenguinstories]

Remoras Full Chapter LXXVIII: Island in the Sun

When I thought I had alone time with Ray, I tried confiding with him.

He was in the back, seated at his desk. His usual hangout spot. He enjoyed the occasional peace and quiet, and was able to gather his thoughts. We often sat together and chatted about this and that. Just whatever happened to be going on. We’d rub each other’s backs, get high, and take naps, sometimes on the other’s lap.

Before I spoke up, I looked around every corner. Paranoia just wasn’t my style, but I couldn’t help the sense of dread Aion and Ananke’s presence brought.

After seeing no sign of them, I said:

“Hey. About what those two said –”

“About them being members of The Flashbulb?” He looked up and asked. Even though he wore a dull expression, his eyes shone just the same as when he was in a more delightful mood. I knew I wasn’t dealing with the frazzled, cabin fever Ray.

“Yeah. Do you think they’re dangerous?”

“I don’t know,” he shook his head and groaned. “Aion is...I’d like to say I know him well enough, but that’s simply not true. I think he took not being known as a point of pride. Guess now that he’s here, that pride is biting me in the ass.”

“Heh,” I chuckled and sat on top of the desk. “Just when you think you know a guy…”

“I don’t know much about The Flashbulb itself,” he continued, “besides what Tony told me. He sold them as being small fry, but you saw Remora’s reaction: dead serious.”

“Yeah, but she’s the type to take most things seriously, even if she doesn’t think things through all the time,” I pointed out.

“Same could be said about you.”

“No way! I’m still carefree!”

We both laughed, but that laugh was short lived. That feeling of dread wouldn’t leave.

“I can’t help worrying about the presence,” I admitted, “I fear they’re up to something. Didn’t I tell you about how I met Dr. Faust before?”

“You did. I didn’t take the time to visit, but I appreciate the information you sent me. I trust your judgment, hun. I’ve felt like they were up to trouble the moment they walked in. I just wish I had more of a gauge on Ananke. I know even less about her than I do Lucky.”

“Well, if Aion makes being unknown a point of pride, Ananke seems to do it effortlessly. Although she was the one to admit to her former affiliation when Aion was reluctant to do so.”

“Now why would she do something like that?”

“Maybe she doesn’t see it as something necessary to hide,” I suggested.

Ray opened his mouth, but before he could speak, a familiar figure emerged from around the corner. Sharp-dressed in a striped suit and white gloves, with his combed-over brown hair (and the black undercut).

“Oh look, it’s the lovebirds!” Aion smiled wide, as if he had just got done laughing hysterically at one of his own jokes, “hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

Ray and I gave each other a knowing glance. When I looked back at Aion, I smiled back.

“Not at all! Hope you’re enjoying your stay!”

His expression turned sour.

“Yeah, let’s cut the crap: I know you two were talking about me. Don’t you know that’s rude?”

Ray slipped something in the back of my jeans pocket as I leaped off of the desk.

“Sorry, force of habit. Ray and I have a tendency to talk about anyone who stays with us.”

He scoffed, though it seemed like he was trying to attempt a chuckle, maybe to save face.

“Well, you know, there’s no need for secrets. I’m an open book, after all! Just as me anything!”

His smile returned, but I wasn’t convinced.

“I may have to take you up on that offer later,” I said before walking away.

The night the triple A team arrived, Ray and I discussed them once already. We were laying in bed that night and under thick, orange tartan covers.

“Looks like your old friend finally showed up,” I opened up the conversation.

He turned over away from me. Taking the opportunity, I stroked his small back. On the dresser across from the bed was his fake arm. Most of the day, he wore it around, but in private, he’s long confided how burdensome it actually was. He would say things like, “it’s clunky and I can’t really hold things well with it. It’s easier to just use the one arm than try to bother with it.”

Even if most were unlikely to care, he still wore it around in front of others out of some sense of pleasing others. He would never admit to being concerned about what other people thought of him, but he still liked to conduct himself in a palatable way.

“It’s so weird,” he groaned, followed by a soft sigh as I stroked his neck.

“I can only imagine.”

“I’ve known him as a con artist, a drug dealer, a thief, and a pleasure seeker. He always did like making up fake symbols and implying there was more to him, even when he’d admit there wasn’t truly anything there. That fake amusement park didn’t surprise me in the least. But hearing how he had a secret lair in the mountain full of esoteric information, I just don’t know what to make of that.”

“Neither do I. I’m just hoping the information on angels can help solve our Cronus problem.”

“Was it really enough?”

I didn’t reply. I couldn’t, because I just didn’t know. Rather than being optimistic about our problems being solved, it just seemed like Aion and his entourage brought with him more problems.

“That’s not the only weird thing. So many years...why now?”

“You asked that before. I’d say there’s probably a reason, but I just don’t know what.”

“It’s hard. You never really knew him. Then again, I can’t really say I knew much more.”

Such a conundrum.

I sat in the dining area at a stool next to the bar area. I had poured myself a glass of whiskey. It would soon have one of two effects: either calm my nerves or fire them up. I couldn’t really say which I needed more right now, but hopefully the whiskey would know what I needed. I took a sip: strong, bitter, almost like swallowing hot coals. My face twisted and my lips puckered.

“Aw, fuck it,” I rasped with a smile, and downed the shot glass in one swift gulp. That’s how it was meant to be drank anyway, right?

I gut up and poured myself another shot. While doing so, I looked around to see love in the air: Calen and Cael at one booth, Remora and Demetria at another. Several rows down sat Cybele next to the ever-sorrowful Achlys. I couldn’t tell what they had discussed the other day, but already it seemed like they were well acquainted. They held each other tight while Cybele took a moment to wipe away Achlys’s tears. Behind them were Prosperina with the head of a sleepy Hecate resting on her shoulder. Prosperina’s eyes were darting around and her face was red.

Our eyes met.

I downed my second shot, then shrugged, as if to say, it’s your relationship, own up to it.

Honestly, I didn’t know if they were in a relationship or not. Same went for Cybele and Achlys (doubtful when they just met, but apparently Cybele slept with Nemesis when they just met too. Maybe Cybele had more game than I thought). Calen and Cael probably were.

“Love is in the air, all except for mine and Ray’s. All because Aion keeps interrupting us. Then again, maybe I should stop focusing on him so much,” I said to myself.

“Indeed. You should focus more on me,” uttered a low, passionless voice.

I was startled so bad that I leaped where I stood and dropped the shot glass, watching it shatter across the floor.

“Fuck!” I panicked. I knew I’d need to sweep that up. That could wait, though. I looked up to see Ananke stood in front of me with a black tank top on and golden straps.

“Did you get the liquid courage you needed?” She asked, glancing down at the floor.

“C-Can...can you not?!” I huffed in a near-shout, the nerves dancing around me. Oh, the heat sure was rising now. I wasn’t drunk (it would have to take at least two more shots for that) but I sure was something.

“I can not.”

“I would like some privacy! Can you PLEASE respect that?”

“Very well,” her eyes flitted and she turned away, “but be aware, I’ll be awaiting you soon.”

Ugh. Of course. If it wasn’t Aion, it was her. Just what was her deal?

Once she was out of sight, I grabbed the nearby broom and dustpan from the closet and scooped up the broken glass. Each shard carried with it a distorted version of my reflection. Almost like I was walking through a house of mirrors.

I ducked behind the bar and checked the note Ray slipped into my pocket. I unfolded it and read:

“They may listening in on our conversations. Try talking with others, and hopefully they can relay things back to me.”

Looks like I wasn’t the only person paranoid. What a relief.

I put the note back in my back pocket.

Well, may as well put that advice to use.

It wasn’t an ideal situation, but even if we had to work through a middleman, the need for discretion was vital.

When I stood back up, I watched Cybele get up and shake Achlys’s hand.

“I should probably head back before it gets dark. Do you want to follow?” She offered.

“I would love to, but I don’t want to be a burden,” Achlys said with her weepy voice.

“You wouldn’t be a burden at all, besides, I’m sure Nemesis would love to meet you, too!”

Achlys looked down.

“I don’t know. You’re the only person I’ve felt this good around despite my sad state. Anyone else...feels like too much. Ah! But sorry! I don’t mean to harbor such troublesome feelings!”

“It’s okay. I don’t think she’s such a bad person, either, though.”

“I’ll think about it,” Achlys said and began to sob once more. She blew her nose into her thick, gray woolen sweater.

“Well, talk to you later!”

Cybele waved away, then left.

I should have seen her off, said something. We were pretty close, right? Or at least, I thought so. Ah, but I suppose at the time I figured it was fine: after all, she was making more friends, and might even be starting to have a love life. That’s cause for celebration, right? I didn’t need to interfere with that all the time.

But I would like to grill her about it later, I made a mental note to do just that.

Witnessing their farewell gave me another thing to note: who other than Ray had knowledge on Aion and Ananke? Why, Achlys, of course! She’d at least be able to tell me something.

I approached her and her foggy eyes turned to me. That too filled me with dread, but I should have known better: hearing what happened to her made me more sympathetic than anything else. Being afraid of her sight was just disrespectful, wasn’t it?

“Hey. I don’t think I’ve taken the time to chat with you yet. How are you doing?” I asked her.

She looked down and closed her eyes.

“I scare you, don’t I?” She asked, while tears still fell through her closed eyelids.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m used to such a reaction. I’m glad it’s just that, and not that you start crying because of me.”

The urge was there, I wouldn’t lie, but I think the whiskey was working to hold back any tears that could have escaped me.

“Don’t worry, I don’t cry so easily.”

“Neither did I,” she replied. “Most people look at me in fear, pity, or sorrow. Cybele is the ‘pity’ category. But for some reason, I don’t mind that from her. I feel...lighter, because of her.”

“Hey, I’m happy for you. I’m glad she’s having such a positive influence.”

She opened her cloudy eyes and tried to work up a smile. Her lips shook, but before they could curl up, they fell back to a frown, and she sobbed harder.

“I’m sorry,” she moaned after wiping away her tears with her sleeve, “I’m glad to have her around. But it’s still not easy.”

“I can only imagine. Having to witness such an angel and all.”

“I know it was my fault...I just wanted to help.”

“Hey. We make mistakes. Sometimes ones that affect us our whole lives. That doesn’t mean your life is ruined, does it?”

Ugh, I say that, but do I really believe that for her?

I leaned down and hugged her. She reached out and sobbed into my chest.

It was only a few seconds, and I didn’t know if she wanted to be touched, but after letting go, she looked up.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“You’re not a bad guy, are you?” I asked.

“Ah!” She jumped, startled, “I...I...I didn’t want to be bad. Truly.”

“No, I don’t have any reason to believe you are. Even though you came from that company, I don’t sense any malice from you.”

“Still, I don’t want to be seen as a victim...I was warned, after all.”

“May I ask you something?” I sat down across from her.

“I don’t know. What?”

“What do you know of Aion and Ananke?”

“Ah...I’m sorry if you were expecting something. I only knew that they were studying angels right before I was transformed by one. They always seemed to keep to themselves and didn’t consider me important enough to reveal anything to me.”

I slumped down. Not the information I was hoping for, but I didn’t want to seem to disppointed.

There’s gotta be something...how come even the ones who spent time with them don’t know much?

“So you don’t know why they came over here?”

“Dr. Faust, he said he really wanted to see Ray. An...Dr. Paracelsus, she forced me here. If it were up to me, I’d have crawled into a cave and died there. I don’t know why they insisted on me coming along when they don’t care about me.”

“God...that man really is obsessed with my husband. Does he have no better reason to come here?”

“He probably does. I just don’t know what.”

“Damn it. I don’t usually care so much about new people. I like to think I’m friendly with anyone. But I swear, if those two wish harm on anyone here…”

“I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have minded helping if I knew more.”

“I bet it has something to do with angels,” I crossed my arms and growled.

“Ah!” Achlys perked up. Well, ‘perked’ was probably the wrong word, but it seemed like she had one of those “eureka” moments.

“What is it?”

“That would make sense. Knowing their research, that must be it.”

I got up. There was only one other person I could think to brainstorm with. It probably wouldn’t yield much more results, but it was worth a try.

“Thank you for spending time with me, Sunny. Truly,” she looked up.

“Anytime,” I told her, and had to wipe up a few tears of my own. Either she really did have an effect on me, or it was just hearing those words of gratitude that moved me. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever know.

Before I made my way over to Remora, I felt a clammy hand grab my arm. This time, I wasn’t startled in the slightest. I looked down and saw Hecate with her hood up and her bright eyes looking up.

“Sunny?” Hecate asked through yawns.

“Yeah?” I yawned as well. What could I say? Yawns were contagious.

“What’s Ananke’s deal?”

“I’d like to figure that out, myself.”

“She seemed interesting, but she told me I don’t practice real magic.”

That struck a nerve. What right did she have to diss someone as cute as Hecate?

“Your magic is the realest! Screw her!” Prosperina declared in Hecate’s defense.

“She told me that you’re the most interesting one of all, Sunny,” Hecate continued. “I asked why that was and she said that, ‘she’s not magical in the slightest, but she understands magic,’ what does that man?”

“Beats me,” I huffed. “She’s been eyeing me for a while. It’s concerning.”

“You know all about magic, too!” Proserpina came to Hecate’s defense as well.

“Thanks. I don’t doubt my abilities. I was just confused why she would say your name, Sunny.”

“She must find me pretty important!” I remarked and tried to grin about it. I wasn’t used to having so much focus put on me, and if Ananke didn’t irk me, I might have been more pleased about the attention.

“She said you were the most important one here.”

My face tightened and turned red.

I brushed my hand in front of my face.

“That’s simply not true. Remora’s the most important, I would say. Even besides Remora, there’s Demetria, who’s racked up more victories than I have. Although maybe I had similar stories to tell in my prime. I can’t remember. Then there’s Ray, who gives everyone a home and formulates plans. He’s really good at mediating conflict.”

“Do you have self-doubt?” Hecate asked.

I was taken aback.

“Not at all!” I gave a haughty laugh. “I’m fine with my position! I’m carefree! I go on adventures! Do I really need anything more?”

I said that, but my chest tightened. I couldn’t blame the whiskey, as I only had two shots.

I couldn’t even help Remora when she was dealing with Nemesis. In the end, she settled it herself.

Whatever. There was no need for such insecurities. It didn’t fit my image.

“Don’t worry,” I told Hecate, “whatever’s going on with that Ananke woman, I’m sure I’ll figure it out.”

Again, I said that, but I wasn’t even sure what I was supposed to figure out.

My only other lead right now: Remora.

I approached their table.

Yet another couple I was going to have to interrupt.

I’m happy for you two, really…

They were seated together, both eyes closed, hands on the table and connected. Their heads were resting on each other. Despite the gap in height, they made it work somehow. It really was an adorable sight, except…

God, if all you couples are going to do is nap, couldn’t you have done so in bed? Why go out here to rest?

I clapped my hands together real fast and the two jolted up awake.

“What the hell, Sunny? Do you know what time it is?” Demetria rubbed her forehead with her palm.

“Yep! It’s mid-afternoon! Still plenty of daylight!”

Remora stared down at the table. There was a plate with a half-eaten sandwich. She looked rather disoriented.

“Do you think the sandwich is still safe to eat?” She muttered.

“Yeah, you’re probably fine. You can even take it with you.”

“Huh? Take it with her?” Demetria blinked and looked around, “what do you mean? Where is she going?”

“Not sure yet. Remora, do you know anywhere we can talk in private where we won’t be listened in on?”

“Is this about what I think it is?”

“What? What do you think it is?” Demetria asked.

“Sorry, Dem. Can I borrow your girlfriend for a bit?”

“Borrow...her?”

“Yes. I’d like to talk to her elsewhere. If that’s okay with you two.”

Demetria puffed her cheeks and blew out hot air.

“Yeah. I’ll be fine.”

“I won’t be long,” Remora smiled and ruffled Demetria’s hair. Her arms flailed about but she didn’t really seem to mind.

Remora got up and took her sandwich with her. What a relief.

We each grabbed jackets (well, Remora was already wearing one, so she just doubled up). My jacket was a thick yellow and blue polka dot one made from goat hide, while hers was a thin, dark purple rubber jacket, underneath of which was a bright orange felt jacket. We headed outside where we were met with bright, blue skies. Even with the blankets of soft, white snow mixed with the hard stone and small patches where grass grew, it was fairly warm given the climate.

“So, you have a place in mind?” I asked while walking behind her. She took bites of her sandwich and didn’t answer until the sandwich was almost gone.

“I do. I can’t promise we won’t be followed, but I’m confident we won’t be listened in on.”

“That’s half-reassuring.”

We continued on. In the distance I saw the cliffs where Khaldaia was hidden inside. There was also the hospital in full view. I wasn’t sure how much longer we were going to go. I couldn’t see any particular place in the distance.

“Can you turn around?” Remora asked.

“Oh, sure.”

I spun around until my back was turned to her. I looked around, checking around the hospital, the cliffs, and big hills. No sign of anyone. Not a silhouette, nor outline.

There’s also not any sign of Aurora’s train. I miss her and her crew even though they showed up to Hera’s party.

“See anyone?” Remora asked.

“Not as far as I can tell.”

“Good. That doesn’t mean there isn’t anyone out there, but I’m less concerned if you can’t see them. And if anyone tries a sneak attack, you should be able to see them coming a mile away.”

“What if they have a gun?”

“Huh. Never considered that possibility.”

Fwoosh! I heard the sound of sliding metal.

“You can look now,” Remora informed me, and facing her again, I noticed that there was a small hole.

“What is that, a half-made igloo?”

She squinted.

“No. It’s more like a burrow. Come down, there’s a ladder.”

She went down first, and I followed after. It was pitch dark, and I imagined all the creepy crawlies that could have been lurking, whether in the dirt or the stony ground. I knocked on the wall next to the ladder and heard a metallic clank.

Once down, she flicked a switch on one of the walls. It lit up to reveal a soft orange glow which shone above a queen-sized bed with two soft, white pillows, and a lion-print blanket over the mattress. Beside it, was a nightstand, and against one of the walls was a dresser.

“A bedroom?”

“Yeah.”

Unlike the silver, metallic wall that rested behind the ladder and along the ceiling of the burrow, the floor itself was wood tile, as was the wall of the bedroom.

“You know, we could have gone in one of the rooms of the basement back at the diner. Had I known this was what you had in mind, I’d have just gone downstairs.”

“Too risky. The walls here are soundproof. No outsiders should be able to hear us.”

“What’s this place for, anyway?” I asked. It was clearly a bedroom, and nothing else. That much I knew.

She walked over to the bed and sat at the edge of it. She leaned herself against one of the boards that made up the bed frame. I noticed that the headboard, behind the pillow, was carved with a heart shape in the middle.

“Good. Just how I left it,” she smiled to herself before looking up. “Ah. About this room...while I like you guys and see myself still staying there for the time being, I’ve grown to miss living on my own. I don’t yet have the materials to rebuild a house for myself, but I had just enough for this little room. Whether I build something above ground or add to this, I’m not yet sure. I was also thinking, when the time comes, I’d like to see if Demetria would live here with me.”

She’s planning on leaving sometime in the future? I mean, I know it’s right for her, and she’s always been pretty independent. Not exactly the best cook, but she did fine enough on her own for a while as far as I can tell. Gee, I’m going to miss seeing her every day.

“I’ll still visit every day,” she said, as if she heard my thoughts, “I also don’t know when I’ll be ready to move in here. I’ll probably make an announcement when I’m ready.”

“Wow. I’m impressed. And that’s super sweet about wanting Demetria to stay with you. Look at how far you’ve come,” I held my arm out and gave her a thumbs up.

She nodded.

“It would only be fair to ask her.”

“You really love her, don’t you?”

“Yes. Just as you love Ray.”

“Well...this isn’t about him…” I looked away and gave an awkward grin.

“Isn’t it? I figured you were concerned about that Aion guy. I imagined you must be jealous of the attention he’s been giving your husband.”

“I admit, there’s some jealousy. But you’re only half-correct: I’m worried that Aion and Ananke might be up to something dangerous, and that something could very well put us in harm.”

“You figured that out?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t trust those two, either. Knowing what I know about The Flashbulb, a former member is nothing but bad news. Two former members are even worse news. They may put up a harmless facade but I doubt either one are to be taken lightly.”

I was glad that Remora saw the same signs that I did, but that didn’t ease my worries as much as it should have. There was still that sinking feeling of dread.

“What do you think they could be up to?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I doubt it’s on such a small scale, but if it something huge, I can imagine us being collateral.”

“What kind of people are Flashbulb members? I only heard about them once or twice before. It’s a world I’ve never even stepped foot in.”

“They’re mad scientists who see the world as a program to tweak and test around, with no concern for any consequences. After all, what consequences are there when you can just reset time?”

“That’s hard to visualize.”

“Don’t worry about the image. Although the organization is no more, even former members are something to be wary of. Some may be innocent, even victims of circumstance. But many are sure to uphold the same goals that they had while in the company. That man, Aion, claims to fit into the latter category.”

“What about Ananke?”

“I can’t get a read on her. I feel it’s safer to lean on the ‘dangerous’ side until proven innocent.”

That didn’t give me any more confidence than I had before.

“I keep telling myself that I need to figure out what they’re up to so I can put a stop to it. But so far all of my leads have been crumbs at best, and the answer’s not coming to me on my own. I feel like I’ll fail, that I’ll be too late, and lose again. If that happens, I’d still be as useless as I’ve always been.”

“What’s this about being useless?”

“It’s true, isn’t it?” My fists shook. It wasn’t cold down there, but I shivered just the same. “When we went adventuring to get away from Nemesis, she still found us and you two still fought. It was too early, and almost ended in disaster. I couldn’t make things right with my daughter even after trying to. It was too little, several years too late.”

“Are you kidding? If you hadn’t punched her out, I may have died earlier. True, I still ended up fighting her a third time and almost losing my life on my own, but I’m grateful that you stepped in. As for your daughter...I don’t know. Those kinds of things are complicated. It’s still important that you tried. Isn’t that what you told me? Not to mention, I saw you talking things out with Achlys. She may have been a former member, but she seems less on the dangerous side, and I think she appreciated what you did.”

“Still, anyone could have done those things.”

“Who cares about that?!” She shouted and I took a step back. I wasn’t used to her raising her voice.

I blinked.

“Remora? Are you mad?”

“I just hate to see you being like this.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s just as I said, though: who cares if someone else could have done what you did? It’s the fact that it was you who helped, isn’t it? Besides, that’s not even wholly true: Demetria couldn’t hit that hard. Tigershark, maybe, but I doubt Nemesis would have wanted to fight at all if Tigershark was there. Ray definitely couldn’t hit that hard, and at best he’d try to talk her down. True, I still fought her with you there, but she’d have wanted a fight sooner or later, I just opted for sooner.”

She continued:

“Ray could have helped Achlys with his words, but he’s been just as stressed as you have. That you talked to her is what matters.”

“I just feel like I’ve done the least out of everyone. Then there’s Demetria who’s racked up many accomplishments. I am proud of her, but also...I just wish that I was doing more.”

“Look, Demetria is great. But she’s not the only person that matters. During our fight with Cronus under the diner, she couldn’t take him on her own, even though she wanted to. It was only through our combined efforts that we were able to do so. If anything, I’d say Ray did the least back there, save for some quips.”

“Thank you for saying so. I wonder if all these insecurities are because I’m getting older. I don’t think I have many more adventures left in me.”

“I don’t know what it could be, but I wish you’d stop. It doesn’t suit you. Do you think it suits you?” She looked up and smiled.

I chuckled.

“No, I guess not.”

We headed back up. Once we reached the surface, I stopped dead in my tracks.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and turned on the camera. Upon zooming in, I confirmed my suspicion: a hidden passage opened up along the cliff side where I entered Khaldaia. There was a golden glow emanating from the entrance.

Aion must be in there. At least if I can’t see him, I doubt he’ll see me.

“Sorry, Remora. I’ll catch you later. Opportunity is knocking.”

“Who?”

“I’ll tell you when I get back. Let me know if you find out any more information.”

“You as well.”

I ran off in the direction of the cliff sides and turned back to wave frantically in Remora’s direction. She gave a short wave in turn, then walked back in the direction of the diner/hotel.

I ran around the corner. I couldn’t tell how much noise I had made, but I could only imagine a lot: my heart pounding against my chest, my burning nerves, and the heavy footsteps as I sprinted my way there. All I could do was hope that I wasn’t heard, but that wasn’t even a certainty.

My back hugged against the wall. I slowed down my breathing until my heart returned to a more steady pace.

I closed my eyes. I could have checked my phone, but the sudden movement could have given me away. As such, I had no idea how much time had passed before I heard the soft, steady footsteps of someone leaving the entrance.

“Hey Ananke. What’s going on?” Aion’s slick voice echoed.

Is he on the phone right now?

I could only imagine.

“Wow. The device is on the island already? Damn, guess it’s really underway now. I will say, I feel rather cruel about it. Soon everyone will be going away. Say, where’s that island at, anyway? Oh, south from here, just off the shore? Cool. I could probably swim my way there, but eh...I don’t wanna. I think for now I’ll just go back to the hotel and pretend like everything’s still fine. Ray will be less worried that way, right?”

I flared up, and I swore I must have blown smoke out my nose.

Rather careless of you, Aion, I thought as he had just given away the game. If I could stop this device...whatever it was, then boom! Crisis averted.

I still waited at the corner until the crunch of his footsteps went from faint to inaudible. As soon as I could no longer hear movement, I peeked out and saw a faint silhouette of him all the way at the door of the diner.

Whew. Looks like I wasn’t spotted.

While sprinting toward the island, I started fizzling out. I leaned over and stopped to catch my breath.

I used to be able to sprint for days, I wanted to whine. But there was no time.

Or at least, I thought there would be no time. But despite still having much more ground to cover, I spotted a familiar brown and red striped train with its multiple cars skating about.

I jumped up and waved my hands around. The train turned in my direction and tooted its horn. A wide smile spread across my face as the train screeched to a halt just a few paces away from where I stood. It was close enough to catch a strong whiff of the smoky exhausts exuding from the steel trappings of the train’s head.

I ran around to the side and one of the carts slid open: there stood Aurora, legs spread, arms crossed. Her big puffy strawberry red hair, and her big chest, along with her raised chin gave her a commanding presence. Goofy as she may be, she really was a respectable bandit leader.

“Sunny! The hell you doing out here?” She demanded.

“I sure am glad to see you, Aurora.”

“Why, ready to join my crew?”

“No. When did I ever say I’d do that?”

Aurora puffed her cheeks and scowled.

“Fine, then, what do you want?”

“I need you to give me a ride somewhere.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“Nothing. You’d just be helping out a friend.”

“That’s sweet, but I got mouths to feed and places to rob. This isn’t the kind of train you board to hitch a ride on.”

“Please?” I leaned up close to her. Her cheeks flushed a sickly pink.

“Let’s leg wrestle for it. If you win, I’ll take you where you want to go. If I win, you gotta ditch that husband of yours and join my crew!”

“Really? Leg wrestling?”

“We couldn’t before because you had that knee injury, but we gotta prove whose legs are stronger!”

“I don’t have time for this…”

I reached my hands up to her cheeks and pulled her down and gave her a big, fat kiss on the lips.

“There. Now take me to the coast,” I commanded.

Aurora huffed and her cheeks turned a deeper read. After a few seconds of being breathless, she grinned and turned around.

“We’re heading to the beach!” She announced.

Her whole crew cheered from inside and I stepped into the boxcar.

The whole ride there, I’d poke my head out the window to see how much closer we were. Allison, the navigator of their train, handed me a pair of binoculars and I had been using them to check. Not to mention, the rush of air brushing against my frizzy air was pure bliss.

“So what do you need to go to the coast for, anyway?” Aurora asked as she stood over me while I sat at one of the booths in the train.

“There’s an island. Something’s on the island.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t know. But I’ll find out once I get there.”

“I swear...you and your Remoras...is that a good name for your crew? Remoras?”

“I don’t mind.”

“You Remoras always going off of hints and hunches without ever looking into details. Well, I’d say the Remora Remora herself does, to an extent, but no, she doesn’t even do that all the time, does she?”

“Our group’s usually the type to go with the flow.”

“That’s a little dangerous, don’t you think?”

“What can I say? We’re dangerous people.”

“Tch. No shit,” she muttered, then yelled out:

“HEY. ANYONE GOT ANY POWDER DONUTS?”

“I do, boss!” Boomed the voice of a burly, bald man with an attire that I could only describe as a burlap sack.”

“Thanks, Frankie!”

When we reached the coast, the train skidded to a halt right before the icy beach. Just across from the beach, I saw a small, rocky landmass.

I jumped out from the car and raced out to shore.

“YOU OWE ME!” Aurora shouted from behind.

“Put it on my tab!” I yelled back before leaping into the water.

It only took a few strokes against the current before I landed on shore. All my clothes were soaked and I shivered with such a fury that I wondered for a moment if Remora ever shivered as hard.

I searched around for any such device. Behind the stone which protruded from this small thing that I wasn’t even sure qualified as an island, there were smaller palm trees with coconuts, and tall grass behind the palm trees.

“What the hell?” I whispered.

A tropical island in a frigid place like this?

Part of me was excited at the prospect and my mind went wild, like what if there was a hidden lair somewhere on the island, or there was a buried treasure besides whatever the mysterious device was.

Before I could search within the tall grass, however, a voice called out behind me:

“You just can’t help but interfere, can you?” It was a low voice, with some of the words blending together, yet I still heard it all clear as day.

I turned and saw in the bright blue sky a dark figure with mechanical limbs enveloping her. Said limbs were large, and just as dark.

“Nemesis?” I thought for a second, even though I should have known better. It didn’t cover the user’s entire body, and I blinked a few times before realizing I was staring at Ananke herself.

“Not far off. Her suit was a modification of her father’s. Mine was a prototype that would form the foundation of that very same suit.”

What? How does she know all that? And does that mean…?

Before I could finish that thought, she dived in with her fist toward me. I leaped out of the way just in time for her fist to land in the sand and the impact caused a flurry of sand to fly in every direction. I shielded my face and she charged at me, propelling herself forward with the blue flame which ignited the boots of her mechanical limbs.

I turned to the right side toward the jungle just in time to pull out my trust whip: Stella.

I flicked it at her, but to my surprise, she just swatted it away.

“Did you expect to poke me with such a thing?” She chuckled out a deep, low laugh.

“How? It’s an angel weapon! It should have damaged your suit even somewhat!”

“Ah, but you see, this suit is purely mechanical. I should know, I built it myself.”

She kicked her leg up and I tried blocking it with my own, but the weight of the machine attached to her struck me much harder and I almost fell to the ground.

I flicked Stella and watched it transform into a baton. I tried to hit her with it, only for her to catch my wrist before the baton could even touch her, and she pushed me into one of the palm trees. My spine and the tree met each other in a heavy, unholy glory.

I forced myself back up, propping myself up with the baton, wincing all the while.

“So we’re fighting so I can’t get rid of the device, huh? Is that it?”

She tilted her head.

“I said already that you’re the most important. It only stands to reason that you should be the first one dealt with.”

“So what? I know too much, and now you gotta kill me?”

I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t say I’ve never been in such situations, I just didn’t expect to be one today of all days.

“Kill you? No. Just deal with you.”

As if I wasn’t confused before, she just had to make it worse.

She readied her fist, and this time, Stella transformed itself into a pair of knuckle braces. Our fists met at the same time, but even with my added protection, she was forcing me back down. I dropped to one knee, but refused to yield as I leaned in and pushed my way through, using my other arm to support my fist.

“It...doesn’t matter...no matter how much of a disadvantage I’m at,” I tensed up and tried to get as many words out as I could, “I will find that device!”

She smiled and let show a few of her thick, gray teeth.

“The device is right behind you,” she said before activating the booster on the soles of her boots and knocked me back to the ground.

Rather than simply fall onto the ground, however, I felt a rush of air, and my heart started making leaps and bounds. It reminded me of those dreams where I’d fall off a cliff or go skydiving without a parachute. Except here, I didn’t even feel like my body was moving at all.

I closed my eyes, but it did me no good, as I ached so desperately to scream. But while my mouth forced itself open, I could do little more than gasp for air.

That was the last thing I remember before coming to.

When I awoke, I was still lying on the ground. I opened my eyes to see a dark, purple sky.

Not only that, I shivered on the icy sheet of the arctic tundra.

“Huh? I’m back here?” I asked in a hoarse voice.

I picked myself up and noticed Stella was still attached to my knuckles. As I stood, I saw Ananke in front of me, this time in a dark gray parka with her hood up. In her hands was a black briefcase.

“What’s going on? How did I get from that island to back here?”

She stood silent for a moment before answering.

“You are in a separate timeline. I was able to alter the coordinates as well.”

I felt like crickets were hopping across my skin, especially my face.

“You’re...you’re joking, right?”

She shook her head.

“The plan was for you to get sucked into the time travel device alongside me. That you listened in on my conversation with Aion only made things easier for me.”

“So that conversation was bait, is what you’re telling me?”

I looked around. I didn’t see the tall hotel that was once a diner, or even a hospital or that small mountain range. It could have just been that I was in a different place, but there should have been some kind of landmark, right?

“Why would you do this?” I asked.

“Aion considered you the greatest threat to what is to come. I wished to enter an alternate timeline since the beginning. It just so happens that I could afford one little favor and bring you along.”

“Take me back. Now.”

She shook her head again.

“That won’t be happening. I hold the device and I intend to keep it in my possession as it’s necessary for my own plan.”

“But I can’t stay here! What about Ray? Remora? Demetria? Tigershark? What about them?”

“Consider this an act of mercy: soon, they will all die. By being here, your life is effectively spared. I didn’t have to bring you along, but I thought you of all people would understand the meaning behind the act. I may have been wrong.”

“But you said Aion considered me a threat! So if I can return, I can stop it, right?”

She turned away.

“Time to make some new memories. As for me, I’ve got somewhere else to be.”

I tried chasing after her, whether it be a futile attempt to pin her down and wrestle the device out from her hand or what, but before I could take a single step forward, her briefcase unfolded and the mechanical limbs covered her once again. She soared off into the air before I could so much as touch her.

She disappeared into the night sky without any way of knowing where she could have gone off to.

I dropped to my knees.

It still didn’t feel real to me. I expected that I would soon get up and find the diner/hotel once again, and everyone would be there. But even with the icy night chill and my still-damp clothes, I couldn’t bring myself to move. Not even a single tear moved from my eyelids.

[dragonroar87]

"Lucy, grab the pitchforks! Lilith, turn the heat all the way up! We need to move, people! Move, move, move!"

"Satan, the pitchforks have rust on them," said Lucy, poking her fingers on one of the points to test how sharp it was. "They were kinda just there for show."

"It doesn't matter! God is coming here soon! We need to make this entire place look like the True Punishment Division! If the pitchforks have rust, we're giving the sinners tetanus!"

"What'ssssss the big deal?" the serpent from Eden hissed, "Everyone knows heaven isssss jusssst a boring hangout place for the picture-perfect beliverssssss who never did anything wrong in their life."

"If God finds out we're a 24/7 party for sinners and only actually do our job when it comes to murderers and evil dictators, he's gonna shut this place down!"

"I think you're overreacting, Satan," Lillith said, "God is all-seeing, so he probably knows what we're doing down here. Now if you'll excuse me, I had some snacks cooking on the stove for our eternal guests, and I want to make sure they're not burnt."

"Ooh, did you make sssssome forbidden fruit pie for me?" the serpent asked.

"Of course I did. It's probably coming out of the oven right about now."

And they walked away, completely unconcerned.

"You're not taking this seriously!" Satan yelled, "Don't blame me when we all have to work for Dad again!"

"Satan, I'm here!!"

"Speak of the devil, huh, Satan?" Lucy teased.

"We're fucked."

"How's my favorite fallen angel doing?" God asked, his holy luminosity sticking out like a sore thumb.

"Dad! I- uh- I didn't expect you to be here so early!"

"You mean I'm not welcome at your house?"

"No, no, that's not what I'm saying! I- I just haven't finished cleaning up yet!"

"That doesn't matter. I was only here to see if things were running smoothly. These past hundred years have seen the highest human population ever, and I know that heaven is struggling to keep up. I can't imagine how it must be for you."

"Oh, uh- we're actually doing quite fine, thanks! Heh... heh heh!"

"Satan, you want some cookies before I put em ou-" Lilith stopped when she saw God in front of her. "Oh. Hey, Dad."

"Lily! My daughter in law! It's been a while!"

"Yeah, couple of thousand years. How's Adam doing?"

"Oh, he's fine. A bit sad after the divorce, but he got over it eventually."

"I bet. Cookie?" She held the cookie tray out.

"Don't mind if I do!" God took one of the cookies and popped it in his mouth. "Oh, that's delicious! I didn't know you liked baking!"

"It's a hobby. Guests needed something to eat, so I'm sorta hell's official caterer now."

Satan flinched as Lilith referred to the sinners as "guests." If they weren't getting shut down before, they certainly were now.

"Yes, yes. Speaking of your guests, are they doing well? Are you treating them alright?" God said.

"They're getting punished for eternity as we speak! No need to worry about that, heheh!" Satan said.

God frowned disapprovingly, then shook his head. "Satan, that's not how I raised you. I expected only the truly evil ones to be punished. You know as well as I do that most humans are just mortals making mistakes."

".......wait, what?"

"I knew it was too hot in here when I walked in. I mean, I know you like it warmer, but are you really setting your guests on fire or dunking them in lava? Satan, that's no way to treat an innocent person. I'm shutting this all down immediately."

"Well done, idiot," Lucy said, "now we're all going back to heaven. That place bores me to tears!"

As God walked up his stairway to heaven, he smiled to himself. Satan was panicking, thinking he was going to come back with an army of HR angels, but in reality he was just going to go take a nap. Like Lily had said, God is all-seeing. He had already seen everything he needed to.

Later that night, after hours of dread, Satan's phone buzzed with a text.

"I know how you actually run hell," God wrote, "You wouldn't have impressed me by running it exactly how that human book says you do."

Satan had never known greater relief than in that moment.

"YOU GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!!1!" Satan wrote back, "DON'T DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!!"

"I won't, my child. I love you."

.....

"love you too, dad"

Satan’s usually pretty chill in the way he runs Hell. Today he’s scrambling to make it look as miserable as possible because God is soon to visit

[n0resistance]

June 

   The first of June I got engaged.  I actually didn’t think he would do it this soon because of life and everything that gets in the way of this moment. I hated the fact that women have to wait for the guy to ask us, even if we know we’re ready. 

    When Dom proposed it made me the happiest I ever been. Then during the month of June he worked nights because his rotation was the emergency room, which meant I got to spend mornings and days with him. And before this we always had opposite schedules.

    He even got to play volleyball with my group. We would have breakfast together and watch movies. I got to go to Jersey with him and hang with my family. His mom came to visit from Vegas. 

    I got this job near my house recently and living near your job if you don’t work remotely is pretty amazing. Especially if you live in Queens. I’ve gained peace of mind. I don’t dread my days, there’s no toxicity, no fighting, and all of this is the biggest relief. I don’t get out at 3 am anymore and that is a game changer. To your happiness and to your health. 

    So I got engaged to the love of my life, I have peaceful jobs, I got to go home, go to the beach, I play volleyball, the weather makes my mood better, and I really love my apartment. I don’t hang out in groups and hangout with friends one on one. 

    I don’t travel any chance I get anymore. Or go out partying after work. I also don’t get to do acting classes or am putting on any show at the moment either.  That’s always my m/o. Trying to save for a wedding now. 

   I compensated the pain I had with my old jobs with travel, drinking, and escaping with art (which is healthier than the other two). I audition, I write movies I want to make, and I write this blog still. And nobody really talks about this but laundry, cleaning, and cooking is a never ending job at home. 

    My life isn’t overly stimulating or exciting anymore. The excitement revolves around getting a job I actually enjoy. Finding and booking our venue for our wedding. Free time to go to the beach. A workout. I feel healthier. Clearer. 

    I think we overcomplicate our lives thinking we need stuff all the time we don’t really need. I think we put stress on ourselves to make other people happy. I don’t think people care about what I do with my life and I used to be so insecure always trying to figure out how to explain it. 

    The things that are hard to deal with in a corporate environment I’ve experienced is you never get paid enough, schedule is inflexible, management is always coming down on you for things that aren’t your fault. Your stuck there because it’s your only job. And I was just over it for a while. 

    I think what’s important is that we care about ourselves enough to step away from  toxic environments. Yes it’s a risk. Yes your pay isn’t exactly as it was. But I feel that with space comes opportunities of what you do want. There’s always this internal battle. Of compromising what we don’t want for money or stability. I saw this meme that said I don’t even waste an hour on something I don’t care about anymore. When most people waste 40 hours or more a week on what they don’t care about. 

   I’m turning 33 soon and the thing I figured out is I have to like my job. Or what I’m doing outside of my job. It’s a means to an end. I have to enjoy where I live and the people I surround myself with. That it’s okay to be boring. I guess I finally don’t want to live out of a backpack anymore, I want to really take my time with a project and I really have to enjoy and find purpose with work, and any free time I get I want to spend with my fiancé. People pleasing doesn’t interest me anymore. If they don’t like it, sucks to be them. 

    I’m glad I grew up. It was hard to find sustainability living a fast life. Feeling stuck. Being sad. I’m glad I found someone who can be there with me in good times and in bad. I have to say, June has been the best month of year. The month we’ve waited all winter for. & It just went by in a instant. 

[siderealscribblings]

“I am ninety-nine percent sure I know who Chat Noir is.”

It was a heck of a thing to drop out of the blue, but since Marinette revealed her identity to Ladybug, Marinette had gotten used to Alya texting or calling at odd hours with sudden revelations.

(“THAT’S how you knew Lila was lying?!”)

(“So when you skipped on our hangout sess a few months ago, was it because-”)

(“I’m just saying, I know I guy who might be able to doxx Hawk Moth.”)

Unlike her usual stunning revelations though, this one was not one Marinette already knew.

“Okay,” Marinette said, blinking to keep her eyes from completely bugging out of their sockets. “How do you-”

“I just felt like I should be honest, you know?” Alya chuckled. “Since...you know-”

“Yeah, no...thanks,” Marinette said, slightly dazed. “I...um...how do you know?”

“Well...let’s just say I noticed a pattern,” Alya said, chewing on the corner of her lip. “Do you want to know who-”

“No,” Marinett said, before quickly adding. “I mean...it would be better to keep things between us secret for now.”

Alya opened her mouth, an argument on the tip of her tongue, but seemed to swallow it with a nod. “Okay...yeah, sure, I get it.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust him,” Marinette said quickly, maybe more for her own benefit than Alya’s. “I do! I swear! I just-”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Alya said quickly.

“And he’s wanted to reveal ourselves to each other for a long time,” Marinette muttered, ignoring Alya’s easy-out. “I was the one who insisted we keep our identities secret and I’m just...really, really not looking forward to the conversation where I tell him I was the one to break our no-sharing rule...you think he’ll be mad?”

“You tell me ,” Alya said, throwing her hands up. “He’s your partner-”

“He’s going to be mad ,” Marinette moaned, burying her face in her hands. “And hurt and-”

“And...so what?” Alya asked.

“So he’s my partner and we already have this...trust...thing between us,” Marinette sighed. “Long story short the last Guardian wasn’t a very good teacher to him and he’s had to deal with being locked out of the loop before...I just worry that I keep asking him to trust me while constantly keeping secrets from him.”

“And he’s keeping one from you,” Alya said gently. “Kind of a crappy situation all around but...well, let’s just say I think he’s a really understanding guy.”

“I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who constantly has to just understand me though,” Marinette said with a wince. “Sorry, I don’t mean to keep dumping all my Ladybaggage on you.”

“I’ll tell you if I’ve had enough,” Alya said firmly, squeezing Marinette’s wrist. “I don’t mind; really.”

If she lived another hundred years, she would never stop trying to return the kindness and understanding Alya had displayed to her since revealing her identity.

“Thanks,” Marinette said,, the movie on the screen forgotten as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “So...n-not that I’m prying for details but...this guy you think is Chat Noir-”

“Sounds like you’re prying for details,” Alya snickered. “Don’t tell me you’re curious about him.”

“Of course I am!” Marinette huffed. “Wouldn’t you be?”

“I don’t need to be curious; I figured out my boyfriend’s identity by myself,” Alya said smugly. “You want covert deets?”

Marinette weighed her words carefully before speaking. “Is he...out of costume...when he goes home...is he happy?”

Alya’s expression was unreadable for a long moment. “Do you want the truth or...do you want me to say something that will make you feel good?”

“Well that tells me the truth probably sucks, doesn’t it?” Marinette sighed, rubbing her eyes. “He’s got...he’s got a lot of friends, right?”

“He has a...few really good ones,” Alya reasoned.

“And his family?” Marinette asked.

“His family...exists,” Alya said as diplomatically as she could. “Look, we’re treading on major spoiler territory here; can you tell me what you want to know so I can pull it out from all the other information?”

Marinette stared down at her hands thoughtfully for a moment. “...being the Guardian by myself has been one of the loneliest times in my life. I have you now; I had Master Fu for a lot longer than he did. It would make me feel better if I knew Chat Noir was...okay outside the suit. But I think you just answered my question.”

“Look, I can’t tell you how he feels,” Alya said, rubbing Marinette’s shoulder gently. “I can’t read minds, Mari...but-”

“You think I should tell him about me?” Marinette asked hesitantly.

“I think that’s your call,” Alya said. “Do you want my advice?”

“You think I should talk to him,” Marinette said, deflating a little.

“If he finds out from someone who isn’t you, it’s not gonna do wonders for the whole Trust thing you got going on,” Alya said. “And...look, I think it’s great you reached out to me. And I think whatever you want to do with your identity is your business...but I think he deserves the same opportunity to confide in someone. In fact...I think he really needs it.”

“But how do I know he’ll pick the right person?” Marinette blurted out. “What if he picks someone who Hawk Moth compromises and-”

“Didn’t you just say you trusted him?” Alya asked, stopping Marinette’s catastrophizing in her tracks.

“I do...I promise I do...but-”

“You either do or you don’t,” Alya said softly. “And telling him that you broke your rules and he can’t is not going to convince him you trust him. Saying you trust someone is like saying you’re going to work out; you don’t get the results unless you actually do it.”

“I could pick someone for him,” Marinette muttered, looking up at Alya. “Someone trustworthy.”

“Someone you trust,” Alya said. “This has to be someone he trusts. Or else what’s the point?”

“You already know though!” Marinette said.

“ Hey Chat Noir, I completely trust you with my life but also, I’m going to make the choice of who you can and can’t talk to about your personal business,” Alya said, watching Marinette’s nose wrinkle in irritation. “Tell me how that chat is going to go.”

“You know ignoring your advice is getting harder now that you know about me,” Marinette grumbled, crossing her arms.

“Ignore it if you want; just don’t be surprised if this pushes you apart,” Alya shrugged.

“It won’t, he’ll…” Marinette trailed off. “He wouldn’t stop being my partner over this, right?”

“And if he did?” Alya probed. “Just pick a new Chat Noir.”

“I don’t-” Marinette swallowed, shaking her head. “No...I don’t want another Chat Noir.”

“Then you’re going to have to keep this one,” Alya said, squeezing her shoulder. “That means being honest and fair with your partner; if not about your identity, then about his .”

Marinette nodded mutely, turning her gaze back to the movie as Alya stood up. “Want something from the kitchen?”

“I’m good,” Marinette said, fidgeting with her bracelet as she tried not to dread the conversation she knew she had to have.

---

To his credit, the storm of accusations she imagined would come out of Chat Noir’s mouth did not come; Ladybug might have felt better if they did.

Instead, her partner looked dazed, blinking and nodding as his gaze turned away from her. “...okay-”

“I swear this is not about you,” Ladybug said quickly, tugging on Chat Noir’s arm as he turned away from her. “And it doesn’t mean I don’t trust you! I swear I do.”

“No I...I understand,” Chat Noir said, the cheer in his voice becoming more and more forced. “Um...you know, I-I have a lot of homework to do tonight-”

“Chat...please look at me,” Ladybug said, tilting her partner’s face towards hers. Of course she had made him cry, but she tried to push down her guilt. This wasn’t about what she did; given the same choice, she would have picked Alya again, even if it meant hurting Chat Noir in the process.

“I know I don’t have a lot of opportunities to display how much I trust you,” Ladybug said, licking her lips. “So it probably feels like I just tossed aside a huge chance to show how much you mean to me...but this was about me doing what I needed-”

“You don’t need to...you’re the Guardian-”

“That doesn't make me your master !” Ladybug said emphatically, startling Chat Noir out of his daze. “That doesn’t mean I can control who you talk to and who you confide in! I still...I still think we’re too close and rely on each other too much to jeopardize our working relationship...but if there’s someone in your life you trust, I...I want you to have the same opportunity. To confide in someone you trust.”

“Not you though,” Chat Noir muttered.

“There has to be someone else,” Ladybug said almost desperately. “Tell me I’m not the only person in your life you can rely on…”

Alya had been such a positive force in her life since she had told her; she thought back to all the times they had stayed up late talking, all the times Alya had listened to her vent about akuma, all the nights she held her hand because she had watched Chat Noir die to save her yet again.

Was there no one Chat Noir could turn to when he was alone?

Chat Noir seemed to chew it over for a long moment, blinking back tears still as he tried to grapple with the fact his relationship with Ladybug had shifted out from underneath him yet again. “...do I have to tell you who it is?”

“I think it’s better if you don’t,” Ladybug said softly. “Sorry...if I knew who you trusted, I might be able to figure out who you are. This way...I’m not the only one keeping secrets-”

“I don’t want to keep secrets,” Chat Noir grumbled.

“I know,” Ladybug sighed. “And I promise, I swear, the minute Hawk Moth is gone, there will be no more secrets between us! This... mess of half-truths and half-lies will end and we can just be-”

The idea of being something to Chat Noir outside the mask was something not even Alya knew; a secret all her own that might never come to light.

“This is just for now,” Ladybug said firmly. “Not forever.”

Chat Noir nodded, once again resigned to a fate someone else had picked for him. “I get it...I do.”

“Are you mad at me?” Ladybug asked.

Chat Noir weighed the answer for a long moment. “...no,” Chat Noir said with a shrug. “Just...can we pick this up some other time? I wasn’t kidding about the homework.”

For the first time there was a real wall between her and Chat Noir and Ladybug was shocked by how much she detested it.

“I understand,” Ladybug said quietly. “But I meant what I said when I said you should find someone to turn to. I wish I could help you with everything, but-”

“For now...you can’t,” Chat Noir nodded, putting on a brave face. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Ladybug let Chat Noir slip out of her fingertips, momentarily reaching out to pull him back before thinking better of herself. She didn’t expect him to be sunshine and rainbows after telling him, but as firm as she was in her convictions, it still sucked to see him in pain.

Just deal with it yourself like he has to, Ladybug thought as she watched Chat Noir turn and dive off the roof of the building. Alya’s had enough on her plate...you don’t need to bother her with-

Her resolve lasted until she transformed, blinking back tears as she pulled her phone out of her pocket.

---

“Did I do the right thing?”

Alya said nothing, running her hands through Ladybug’s hair as she laid her head on her lap.

“Sometimes...doing the right thing hurts people as a result,” Alya said carefully. “It’s just a sucky part of life.”

“I hate it,” Ladybug sniffed, wiping her eyes with another tissue. “I think he thinks I love keeping secrets from him but...I really hate it. It makes me feel so alone...and I don’t want him to feel that way either.”

“And he can figure out how to feel less alone himself now,” Alya said soothingly. “This guy...I know he has at least one really great friend.”

“Like you?”

“...maybe a little better,” Alya said fondly. “I know he’d move earth to put a smile on Chat Noir’s face, so maybe let this problem fall in his lap instead of yours. You don’t have to do everything to make everyone happy all the time.”

“I want to,” Ladybug muttered.

“ Everybody includes you ,” Alya said firmly. “Take care of yourself first ; let Chat Noir take care of himself now.”

“I worry about him though,” Ladybug said quietly.

Alya glanced down at her phone, seeing a message from Nino flash on her screen.

Nino: hey babe

Nino: can’t make it tonight

Nino: adrien sounds really upset and said he wanted to talk to me about something

“Don’t." Alya smiled as she laid the phone on the bed beside her. “He’s in good hands.”

Ao3 

[ktheist]

girls like you [don’t] run ‘round with guys like me | m

characters. popular!reader x shy!jimin

genre. college au. rich kids au. fwb au. eventual ceo au. eventual racer au.

words. 4k

warnings. 18+

note. this is a repost. tumblr messed up my exposure last time. this fic didn’t show up in search and it’s probably a third post of mine that ends up like this. this one probably won’t either but posting bc someone might see it and like it.

x

It’s easy to tell when Park Jimin is in love.

Unlike Kim Seokjin, his eccentric, dad joke-loving friend, Jimin would only wear the pastel pink when he’s feeling giggly and shy and mushy inside.

The source of said feelings being either the barista he goes to get his daily dose of coffee from, or the girl at the library he studies at during finals or well, right now it’s the girl he’s fucking almost every day of the week - you.

“What are you doing?” Seokjin looks at him like he just dumped a spoonful of salt in a broth that needs a little, teensy bit of sugar.

Or his face seems to say that as he goes on, “she’s a mean girl. She’s mean.”

Jimin isn’t sure if Seokjin’s aware that he’s just repeated the same thing twice.

“She calls you Chim!” The older man reiterates.

“Yeah, it’s…” Jimin trails off, the heartwarming image of you cuddling into him after yet another mindblowing sex, flashing at the back of his mind, “...her pet name for me.”

“Sounds to me like she can’t remember your actual name,” Min Yoongi interjects from the couch he’s claimed for himself ever since they got to their usual hangout.

It’s a penthouse Jimin’s parents bought him on his 18th birthday. Him and the boys would hang around there after they’re done with classes or just need a place to crash whenever they have problems with their girlfriends or boyfriends or parents or any sort of problem that renders their usual room not sleepable.

“I think we can just agree we have different wants,” Jeongguk - or the sanest of them all, as Jimin likes to call him - chirps in, taking a bite of the apple he got from the fridge.

“Exactly,” Jimin throws his hands up as if freed from his elder friends’ judge-filled eyes. The vibration of his phone in his lap gives him even more comfort to know that he finally has an excuse to slip away - he checks his phone, your name flashing in the bubble that says ‘hey, wyd?’

“I have to go, it’s ___.”

A series of groans and hollers equally erupts from the men in the room at the realization of what Jimin’s ‘having to go’ means.

And so it goes. Jimin finds himself under your blanket that smells like fresh laundry - it’s a nude green color compared to the pleated black and white from last time. Your head is on his chest and he’s caressing your hair like it’s the softest thing he’s ever laid his hands on.

Besides your boobs, that is.

“I was thinking… since we have Monday off… maybe we could-”

It’s the way you push yourself off him, eyes that are onto him gazing straight into his soul, “oh shoot, Monday’s a public holiday. I totally forgot! I have to meet my parents. My dad’s been nagging me to come back since I skipped Christmas and New Year.”

And there goes his chance to ask you out on a date.

“Oh yeah, what were you saying about Monday?”

Jimin wears the biggest fake smile he can muster, “just that… me and the boys are gonna hang out and we’re bringing our girlfriends and boyfriends and uh- doesn’t have to be someone you’re exclusively seeing,” he almost chokes at the almost-admittance that he has the fattest crush on you and wants to make it official by inviting you to a couple’s-only hang out, “but like, I don’t think I’m going, it’s boring anyway.”

He waves his hand dismissively, trying to play it cool.

You make a cooing sound, eyebrows knitting together as your lips pout cutely before a playful smile blooms on your face, “I know what you’re trying to say.”

“You do?” Jimin thinks he heard his heart dropping to his stomach.

“Yeah, you’re single and all the boys have someone special they’re gonna bring… it’s gonna be awkward as hell because they’re gonna act different because they’re around their special someone so you thought if I was there, it’d be more fun because at least you have a friend with you that’s not gonna act fake the whole time there but I can’t go so you decided you’re not going too like a minute ago.”

Silence lulls in after your analogy that you sound so sure of when, in fact, he has a whole list of things he’d do on the date which he may or may not have gone over a hundred times in his head.

Doesn’t matter now, since that date is a no-go.

He’s going to delete that list off his phone once he gets to his place and drink himself silly until he wipes it out of his mind.

“Yeah,” Jimin says a moment later, “yeah… I mean, girls in love are cute but boys in love are just… annoying.”

The week flies by without Jimin ever mentioning Monday and you’ve showed him the clothes you’re going to wear to visit your parents because apparently-

“It’s lunch at some five star Michelin restaurant and I think they’re gonna tell me they’re getting a divorce,” your voice drifts into the room from the open, walk-in closet.

“If they’re not in some long, dreadful battle on who gets the holiday house with the pool and the dogs - how do I look?” You step out, in a frilly creme sweater with a black ribbon tied around the collar of your white undershirt with a black pleated skirt that stops mid-thighs, just inches from your black stockings.

A glaring contrast to your collection of washed out skinny jeans, plain t-shirts and sneakers.

“You… look…” Jimin knows he should stop openly ogling at your never-before-seen drip but there’s just something about the creme colored sweater.

“Like a good girl?” You offer with a smile Jimin couldn’t quite put a name to. Somehow he notices a trace of sadness in your eyes, but you disappear into the closet too soon.

“I’ll think about what to wear the morning I need to wear it,” you’re in the middle of pulling off the sweater when Jimin comes up behind you, kissing your neck and grabbing your boobs like they’re his.

The sound of your giggle is music to his ears.

That is, until his boner brushes against your butt and you gasp, “Chim! We just did it.”

“I know but you look so cute in that sweater.” He sounds exactly like Jeongguk. Like a fuckboy.

Like one of the boys you got tired of before you finally noticed him, the quiet, shy guy who’s friends with the outgoing, baby-faced Jeon Jeongguk whom - Jimin hates to admit it but he thinks about this every once so often and gets jealous all on his own - you’ve humped and dumped.

How you and Jeongguk still manage to stay friends and tease each other about the other’s choice of partners, Jimin doesn’t know.

It’s like a twin calling the other ugly.

He wonders if you and him will still stay friends after…

Jimin pushes the thought out of his mind. It’s not hard to forget everything when he’s with you - when he’s kissing you on the mouth like you’re the only girl he’ll want to spend the rest of his college life with and maybe his old days with together too.

“Chim, I can’t get my shirt creased,” you say but you’re already dripping wet and laying down in said shirt that’s half ridden up from him sucking and biting on your nipples.

He stopped you when you tried to take off your clothes.

“I’ll wash it and iron it for you,” he negotiates just as he rolls the condom over his length.

The sound of your giggle makes his heart skip a beat. Or maybe that’s the libido?

Either way, your mouth clamps shut when he pulls you down against him by the dip of your waist.

A different kind of hymn leaves your lips as Jimin throws his head back, relishing in the feeling of you around him.

When Monday rolls around, Jimin’s lying on the bean bag with his two legs sprawled over the floor. The boys are all out with either their significant others, working part-time or at a party.

The worn out baseball Jimin’s been tossing in the air and catching with one hand finally hits him square in the face when he hears the doorbell, signaling the presence of someone at the door and that someone being none of the boys because they would just punch in the code and strut in like they own the place.

Jimin thought maybe it’s Yoongi - the guy couldn’t even remember what he had for dinner and actually forgot the passcode to his own rental room once.

So he didn’t think to check who it was.

When your bright smile and slightly puffy eyes flash in front of him, Jimin thinks his soul just yeeted itself out of his body.

“Hey!” You sing song, holding up two plastic bags of beers and snacks.

It takes a moment for him to snap out of his stupor and grab them from your hands and then stepping aside to let you in.

“Is… everyone late or am I just early?” You sound increasingly confused as you step further into the center of the room, standing right next to the bean bag he was laying in just a moment ago.

“Oh-” he says once before he opens his mouth the second time, ready to spurt out another lie, “oh yeah… we decided not to ‘cause why hang out in a group when you can hang out with your significant other… you know, just the two of you… doing what couples do…”

“Huh,” you say, nodding though not quite believing him but you being you, easily lets it slide, plopping on the bean bag and grabbing the closest thing to you which is the ball that hit Jimin in the face - he’s sure he has a circular mark smack dab in the area on the top of his nose bridge, in between his eyes.

The dress you end up wearing is creme colored and riding up your thighs - Jimin swallows thickly and give extra attention to the bottle opener.

“So… how did lunch go?” He pops two beers open and hands one to you, taking a seat on Yoongi’s favorite couch and admiring how your dress is taking the shape of your body as gravity pulls it down.

“Oh, you know, everyone was being fake and acting like the perfect role in the family,” you put the beer down a few inches above your head so as to not tip it over with the ball you’re waving around but not throwing in the air like Jimin did.

“Sounds suffocating,” Jimin repeats a similar answer he gives whenever you use that dismissive tone while talking about your family.

“...are you okay?” Then he asks - and he’s genuinely asking - about your state of mind while casually downing the beer and feeling the bitterness lessen with every gulp.

The silence that lapses in between you is familiar.

“If I say no, can I get a hug?” It’s the look in your eyes, glimmering like the lake he used to go to in summer.

“Always,” he sets his beer down on the table next to the couch and goes over to you, standing on his knees before bending down and engulfing you in his arm.

You’ve always had a knack for picking yourself up.

When he sees you the next time, which is on instagram and a post of you having lunch with your friends, Jimin could hardly believe that’s the girl who asked him for a hug as if she’s afraid she’ll be putting him in an uncomfortable spot by asking for too much.

But there’s something…

Like an invisible wall made of ice that he can’t thaw through nor can he climb over to get to the other side where you are. Where you keep the people you love the closest. Closer than he’ll ever be.

Jeon Jeongguk is one of them.

In the picture of five people huddled close to fit in the frame, Jeongguk has his arm over you with a peace sign while you lean your head on his neck but not actually resting on it - like it’s an unconscious action you’d do because you’ve done that plenty of times.

Is it when you two were together?

Everyone he knows, knows that you and Jeongguk used to be more than just friends at some point.

Sometimes he still hears people talking about you two in passing.

‘Did ___ and Jeongguk get back together? I saw in Jeongguk’s snapstory - they were in a club or something.’

‘No way. There goes my chance of getting close with Jeongguk.’

‘Girl, with ___ hanging around him 24/7, do you think he’d look at girls like us?’

‘A girl can dream though.’

Jimin wanted to open his mouth and tell them they deserve way better than Jeon Jeongguk - though they’re not prettier than you.

He thinks you’re the loveliest girl on planet earth and if there was another life form on another planet, he’s almost a hundred percent sure you’d still be prettiest being in the universe with your obsession for skinny jeans and the way you’d unconsciously pout when he talks about how things weren’t going his way that day as if you would’ve exchanged your abundance of luck with his shitty one just because you’ve got that big of a heart and how you’d be walking with your friends, laughing and giggling and when you see him, you’d wave at him like you’re good friends.

Second only to Jeongguk and your friend group that you’re always hanging out with.

“Oh, ___? We were childhood friends.”

“Hmm… Gguk and I became friends because our parents are friends.”

The two of them say at different times and settings when Jimin asked, trying to play it cool. Like he isn’t just brimming with jealousy. Like he’s not half-way to losing his mind because the girl of his dreams just went to a retreat with his friend-of-a-friend-turned-actual-friend together when everyone else in the group who was excitedly planning for the trip - couldn’t make it.

The rooms at the inn weren’t even pre-booked. It was owned by Jeongguk’s family and they didn’t deposit any money for the trip for them to rationalize going on that trip anyway despite everyone else not being to go.

“The trip? It was fun, if you want we can go together next time.”

Jimin isn’t sure if you even mean that when he asked how the trip went after you’re glistening with the glow of after sex and scrolling through instagram, liking posts of everyone you know.

But then three months later, on your break, Jimin is hit with a ‘keep your schedule free next week for a whole week!!!’

Then he finds himself at a five star hotel by the beach with the most breathtaking view of the sea.

It wasn’t the inn owned by the Jeon’s but Jimin liked the fact that you brought him to a place - and he hopes his assumptions are true - your friends have never been before. Especially Jeongguk.

“Woah, this place is better than I thought,” a king sized bed lies directly across from the balcony where you’re standing, hair flying behind your back as the seaside breeze blows into the room.

“We can watch the sun rise and set from our bed,” Jimin comments for the sake of saying something.

He’s not sure what this means. He’s not sure if he should be having a boner at the thought of the two of you being together for a whole week without any other person getting in the way. He’s not sure if his heart should be thumping this fast.

For the first time since he’s known you, Park Jimin is the most unsure he’s ever been.

“You know what I wanna watch?” Your hands slip in his as you stand between him  and the open balcony door, “you under me, biting your lips because you’re still shy about the sound you make.”

So when you tug him back into the bedroom just minutes after checking in, naturally, Park Jimin follows like he’s been bewitched by your ungodly beauty.

Once the one week of nothing but heavenly morning wishes and passionate night kisses - oh, there was more than just kissing but Jimin remembers how your lips meld so perfectly together with his the most - Jimin is sure.

‘Something definitely changed.’

He thinks maybe it’s not impossible to dream of a future with you even after college.

“Jimin I-... I’m not at a point in life to be thinking about relationships,” you say, hand gripping your arm, head lowered as if your whole body is saying sorry.

“O-oh,” is all he says, he hearts his heart breaking and his chest caving.

All of a sudden, the lights in Gangnam city doesn’t seem so bright anymore.

You both live your last year pretending like the other doesn’t exist. He doesn’t look at you when he passes you and neither did you. Only talks to Jeongguk even though you’re right next to the aforementioned man - granted you were talking with your other friends like you didn’t even notice him there.

But Jimin’s never felt so invisible in his life than he does now.

Then, graduation rolls around and he thinks finally, he won’t have to walk through the hallway and pretend like he didn’t see you. Don't have to keep a five feet distance whenever you meet up for a group project.

Park Jimin doesn’t need to see your pretty face and starry eyes anymore.

“Jimin… do you have a minute?”

Or so he thought.

“So… congrats on surviving college,” you make small talk while standing just ten feet away from the boys whom he’s sure are speculating on what you’re talking about.

Jimin never got to prove to his friends that you’re not the mean, name-forgetting girl they all thought.

Jeongguk knows you’re not. He’s always backing Jimin up when Jimin’s debunking their passing accusations about you.

“Sometimes things just don’t work out between two people but doesn’t mean one of them is the bad guy.” Jeongguk's words put an end to their debate of whether Jimin deserved better than you or not.

For someone young, Jeongguk spoke his mind decidedly.

Jimin felt ashamed that he’d ever been jealous of Jeongguk’s relationship with you.

“I just… didn’t wanna leave things on a bad note. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings when I said no but I really like spending time with you - whether it’s sex or just staying over and cuddling for hours… I like it all.” You say the word sex and cuddle like they’re used interchangeably and Jimin thinks his heart just fluttered.

And you’d said it in public where your everyone can see or possibly pick up on what you were saying, at that.

Well, one thing’s for sure, you’ve got bigger balls than he does.

“My feelings are the same as six months ago and call me crazy but I don’t think you dislike me either.” He finally says and it feels like a deadweight has been lifted off his shoulders.

There comes that pout, as if something is bothering you and you always ever pout like that when that something concerns him.

“You kidding me? I can never dislike you.”

The Jimin from six months ago would have stared at you with disbelief and a dust of pink on his cheeks. But the Jimin he is now simply smiles, heart thumping in his chest. He nods.

“Thanks for telling me that,” and Jimin knows that’s the closest to an ‘I like you’ he can get with the girl who builds an ice fortress around her heart.

A whole year passes by and Jimin finds himself in different shades of grey every day, working at his dad’s company and attending dinner meetings. Life comes to a standstill while time passes him by.

“So, like, you have a sports car, right? Why don’t you come over to the race circuit after dinner? Everyone’s gonna be there.”

Jeongguk tells him over the phone.

And by ‘everyone’ he means the sons and daughters in the corporate world. It’s networking at its finest.

When he’s there, three cars are already racing in the circuit. The smell of burnt rubber and the sound of tires screeching against asphalt isn’t exactly his favorite but they have cheap booze instead of fine wine and he knows the people here are in for the same thing as he is.

An escape.

Away from the grandeur of fine wine and dinner dresses and the elders breathing down their necks and having to act like the next heir to the legacy they were born to carry.

“That Chevrolet over there,” Jeongguk comes, hand on Jimin’s back as his other one that’s holding a bottle of beer points at a red car that looks like a racing fireball, “everyone’s betting on that one tonight.”

Jimin doesn’t know there’s a bet.

“I’ll skip the bet this time ‘round. Haven’t seen the driver yet,” he shrugs dismissively.

Even in stock investment, he’d learned to study the market first before placing his best bet.

Jeongguk leaves his side when his friends - he’s got new ones now - beckons him over. At the same time, the Chevrolet passes the finish line seconds before the Ford Mustang and McLaren 720s, making it the winner of the night.

The driver seems like a show off with the way the car rolls up to the audience, the sound of its engines revving into the night being met with cheers of half-drunk young adults.

Arrogance is a man’s downfall.

Jimin’s about to turn around and head for the exit when the door of the car gets pushed open. The driver steps out, decked in black and red leather jeans and jackets that seem to match the car.

But it’s the smooth, silken hair that cascades past the helmet that catches his eyes.

Park Jimin’s seen many arrogant men in his life but he’s only ever seen one woman with balls and looks good wearing them.

“___! ___! ___!” The crowd starts cheering as you pull off the helmet, holding it underneath your arm and waist.

Your eyes are as brilliant as the night sky full of stars. They’re tinged with shock and then recognition. And finally, you smile that gorgeous smile that gets you misunderstood often as a woman who doesn’t need anything or anyone but uses them as they come.

But Park Jimin knows better than anyone, how wholeheartedly happy that smile looks when you see him.

Like meeting a good friend after a long time.

Seven months down the road, Jimin finds himself with just a blanket draped over his waist while you’re taking a shower in his bathroom to get ready to head to Hong Kong for a business trip.

He hears the sound of the shower head being turned off. The tapping of your foot around his bedroom as you pick up your clothes that are strewn all over the floor.

Then the bed dips ever so gently under your weight as you climb over to him, the fresh scent of shower get filling his senses.  Lips press a deep, lingering kiss on his. As if you don’t want to go to a place where he won’t be.

A few socials and midnight races after his first meeting with you after a long time, you asked him if he’s seeing someone.

“If I say yes, what will you do?” It’s playful at first, because Jimin didn’t want to get himself hurt the second time.

But it’s the way you tilted your head, a finger tapping on your chin as you pondered on his words, “that’s a problem because I don’t want to be that girl that steals another girl’s man,” then you looked at him like you know he’s the one you want to wake up to every morning and the last face you see when you sleep at night and if you can’t have that. then-

“Can you be mine… just for tonight?”

“I don’t think I can.” The crestfallen expression you wear makes his own heart break, even if it’s just for a split second-

“Because I’m not seeing anyone but I’m in that point in life where I want a serious relationship or nothing at all.”

But what he doesn’t tell you is how he doesn’t want a relationship if it’s not with the girl who still haunts his dreams even after all this time.

Just like how you’d turned him down because you weren’t looking to be in a relationship before, you’d courted Jimin like you’d want to spend your whole life with him now.

Flowers got sent to his office everyday until it smells nothing short of floral. You’d be there, waving at him like he’s your savior in that dreadful social you were both attending. Every week, you’d plan dinner dates under the guise of catching up.

Before you race, you’d look over to where he’s standing, as if saying ‘this one’s for you’ before slipping into your car and coming out first every single time.

As if you were making up for every month of the year that you’d let life pass you by.

Now you’ve won a total of 36 races since he met you and the metal band you gifted him on the night of your 12th win feels warm against his skin. As if it’s absorbed all the love and adoration you poured into it.

And you’re wearing that ring he got you on your birthday on your finger that’s resting on his chest where his heart is as he kisses you back just as reluctant to let you leave.

But Park Jimin knows wherever you are, wherever you will be - you will always find your way back to each other.

Back home.

[razorblade180]

A Vengeful Day

Aether has accomplished many feats in his journey. Battling Harbingers, dragons, saving countries from certain peril; the list goes on. At this point it may have been easier to name things he couldn’t do. At the top of that list, skiing.

Not only was he purposely unprepared for his chilling hangout with Eula, but their short lived adventure ended with a swollen ankle and him on her back as they left Dragonspine.

Eula:I hope you know this is an offense I shall never forgive Aether. Not only did I have to spare you my cloak, but the severity of your injury leaves you in my care.

Aether:Eula I promise you I can walk.

Eula:And make it worse!? Absolutely not! The day I reap my judgment upon you will only be delayed if you foolishly put unnecessary pressure on it.

Aether:*smiling* If you say so.

Eula:I can hear you grinning. I don’t see what’s so funny.

Aether:It’s nothing. Honestly you remind me of a certain someone every so often. Always independent and lecturing me. I’d go off to do something by myself yet she would always show up right when things get complicated. Haha, I remember plenty of times she carried me home too.

Eula:So you’ve always been a handful? That’s all you’re telling me.

Aether:She also loved seeing me be so happy whenever she swooped in to lend me a hand. Personally I think she enjoyed tagging along.

Eula:*red* Then both of you are handfuls and I’m nothing like that person. Coming to your aid is the last thing I wanted to do on my birthday.

Aether:Yeah I guess your right. Hehe, sorry.

Eula:I can overlook it as long the recovery is quick.

Aether:Wouldn’t want judgment day to take too long to come, right?

Eula:Precisely!

Aether:…*wraps arms around her*

Eula:Aether?

Aether:I just don’t want to fall is all. If I fell then I’d only make my injuries worse. Hugging you is the obvious choice.

Eula:….*smiles* You are a dreadful liar. I guess I have no choice but to sacrifice my time to thoroughly teach you skiing to avoid carrying you ever again. How troublesome you are. All this extra work.

Aether:Guess it’s a good thing there’s a cake with your name on it back in town.

Eula had no response, but her pace did speed up. Aether did his best not to laugh. A few snickers must’ve escaped him though, because Eula’s ears turned the cutest shade of pink.

At Good Hunter, Amber sat at a table with a freshly made cake. She had timed everything perfectly. Eula was walking through town with Aether still on her back. The Spindrift Knight looked to see the Outrider grinning like if it was her own birthday.

Amber:Happy Birthday Eula!!!

Eula:The only gift I desire from you is to pick a partner that isn’t clumsy. How could you have such taste in troublesome men?

Aether:Hey!

Amber:He’s no clumsier than me.

Eula:Nothing you just said improves his case. If anything it’s less impressive. I’m taking him to the church so he can be the younger Gunnhildr’s problem.

Aether:I don’t think I need that much c- and we’re moving. Bye Amber!

Amber:Bye Aether! I’ll make sure the cake is still warm when you get back Eula!

Eula:That would be in your best interest. Otherwise I’d have to add more to your impending day of reckoning.

Amber:Okay!

Aether:(She really is just used to this huh?) Eula, be honest, you’d actually be a little ticked off wouldn’t you.

Eula:Clan customs were so tedious that cake always cooled before the first slice was ever cut. Cold cake is nothing new.

Aether:So why are you jogging to get me to the church?

Eula:Because got cake would be something new!

Five minutes passed by before Eula calmly made her way back to Good Hunter. In a single and subtle breath, she blew out the candles before cutting a fresh slice of cake for Amber and herself.

Amber:So how’s your birthday been?

Eula:Absolutely troublesome! Far more eventful than I originally planned because of Aether. Now the two of us will have to attempt a do over next year.

Amber*eating cake* Hmm sounds terrible. Gotta admit though, he’s pretty good at giving presents that really stick with ya.

Eula:I’d hardly call cake the most original present or out of the box. Though I never want or need anything as complicated as your gift.

Amber:Haha, if cake was the present, then I’d have to agree.

Eula:What are you going on about? Other than this cake is an unsuccessful skiing trip cut short.

Amber:Don’t forget, the citizens of Mondstadt just witnessed the beloved Honorary Knight being brought into the city by Eula Lawrence, who quickly carried him all the way to the church to receive proper medical care after sustaining an injury from the dangers of Dragonspine. Things like that tend to stick with people ya know?

Eula:…..

Eula:I was played.

Amber:I wouldn’t say that. Aether just thinks good people deserve to be seen in good light. I think so too. *stands up* Well I gotta go do my route. Thanks for the cake, and seriously, have a lovely birthday Eula. You’ve earned it and more. *walks away*

Eula:*bright red* Mark my words Aether…vengeance will be mine for this! Just wait until it’s your birthday!

xxxxx

Barbara:Umm I don’t understand. Your ankle looks fine.

Aether:Hehe, yeah I know. It’s a long story….

[junko-and-riri-domain]

push and pulls | ot7

↬ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ot7 x reader ↬ ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: fluff | requested | headcannon (paragraph form) ↬ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: none ↬ ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ: anon ↬ ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛ ᴡᴀs: “cat and dog relationship with classmate!enhypen ? hehe headcannon or any format that you're comfy with :3  they could be highschool sweethearts in the end too 😭” ↬ ᴀ/ɴ:

i tried i'm sorry if this sucks 🤧

jake and jay’s are are like semi-suggestive (i think?) imma just say that they are semi-suggestive to be safe

i aint gonna lie i’m a sucker for Jay cooking 😪

jake & hoon’s are kinda short bc it’s like 1 am rn 

Heeseung

Heeseung has always been good at everything no matter what it is. It isn’t to discredit any of his effort whatsoever, but as the school year continues everyone knows that things are just natural for Heeseung. Ever since your freshman year of high school, you’ve seen him as your main competition for 1st place in school. The problem? This man isn’t even aware of it. To you, he just breathes and wins the competitions, gets all the attention, and is at the top of everything. To him, it’s the only way you’ll even notice him. The competitions? It gives him a chance to stay after school to be with you. The attention? He’s only focused on yours. Him at the top of everything? Well, that one’s just because he’s Lee Heeseung. It’s after school one day and the both of you have stayed to help clean up the classes for extra credit. Like a thief with a bagful of stolen glances, his eyes drift to you whenever you don’t notice. Except for this one time.

“Stop looking at me!” you say, your eyes glaring at him. He’s taken aback as he never meant to offend you.

“Sorry,” he said, thinking that you’d just leave it at that. But instead,

“I know you’re fricking judging me Lee Heeseung.”

“What?”

“I can feel it in your eyes. I’ll always be second to you and I get it, you don’t need to rub it in, so just stop!” You throw the rag at the window, walking out of the classroom and he’s left alone wondering what the hell just happened. And suddenly the gap between first place and second begins to grow. To him, staying after school to study for competitions are no longer fun when you won’t even tell him to be quiet when he starts to sing. Your attention is gone just like his sanity. Being at the top never felt so lonely when you weren’t next to him. To you, staying after school becomes something you dread because of the silence in the room that you caused. Your attention seems as if it’s on everything but him but every day you have a hundred thoughts and all of them are infected with him. The two of you enter yet another school competition, making it to the top 3. Yet, unlike previous times, neither of you is in first place.

“In first place, we have Sim Jaeyun!” the announcer says. You and Heeseung look at each other in shock that the other wasn’t on the podium. Yet, you couldn’t care less. Because not getting first place causes you to go off on a rant that Heeseung joins in on. Staying after school turns into study partners at the nearby cafe which becomes study dates. Both of your attention is openly on the other. And while you’re both at the top academically, you become the couple goals everyone wishes they could achieve.

“ace of my heart 💞” you caption an Instagram post of a picture of Heeseung.

rest of the boys under the cut!

Jay

Culinary class is peaceful for Jay. He has control of everything, knows where the ingredients and cooking tools are, can do something he loves, and did we mention control of everything? As a chef, he learned what you were like the first few weeks of class. You were messy with apple peels next to the lime squeezer, engaging in a way of cooking that you defined as “organized chaos.” You didn’t use measurements, cooked things by eye, and used whatever seasonings felt right. It wasn’t that you were bad at cooking, he actually enjoyed your dishes. But your process was just something he couldn’t stand. And maybe he doesn’t really like you since you accidentally used the last of his honey when making cupcakes but that’s a story for another day. The culinary teacher decided to try something new to promote teamwork and for a week, the class would be in partners and cooking a dish new to both people. And who did Jay just have to end up with? You. As the two of you read the recipe for your first dish which was a dessert of sorts,

“What do you wanna use first, jackfruit or durian?” he asked. You looked up at him, a teasing smile on your lips,

“Durian, because it looks like you,” you said before making your way to the table where all the ingredients were.

“Inner peace,” he muttered to himself as he watched you walk off. The next day, you were making peach tarts.

“Yah, Jay, look here,” you said as you held up your phone and the peach. In the photo you took, the peach was next to Jay’s face, sort of comparing the two.

“Why’d you take a picture of me?” he asked. He didn’t really mind photos, knowing full well how good he looked but you taking one of him came completely out of the blue. As you glanced up from your phone after hitting post, you were unable to stop your laugh,

“Your hair looks like a peach,” you said with a wink as you went back to cutting the ingredients.

“Do I just, do I just look like food now?” he muttered to himself with a huff.

“I mean… I wouldn’t mind eating you,” you teased. You were smooth, he’d give you that. But, damn, he wanted to make you feel the way you were making him feel right now.

It didn’t take long for you to learn that Jay’s way of teasing made you flustered as hell. If you’d ask him to hand you something, he’d hold it above your head forcing you to have to jump up. It just so happened that he did this once right in front of someone else’s station and as you jumped, you almost knocked into them which led to his arm around you,

“Watch where you’re going,” he warned with a teasing edge as he handed you the carrots.

When you handed him something, he’d take it in a way that his hand held yours for a second but that second was enough. As the two of you cooked together, you entered your own world with no one else but the other in it. He was patient with your organized chaos, his own habits finding a place alongside your cooking routine. For the last day of working as partners, you two were to bake cookies. You put in a pinch of salt then some sugar when suddenly,

“YAH!” you hear from next to you. Met with Jay’s wide eyes as he looked in the bowl where you put the salt and sugar,

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“I told you to taste the salt and sugar before you used it.”

“The first one tasted like salt so I put more of the second one.” He took a pinch of the sugar already in the mixing bowl then tasted it, a disgusted look appearing on his face”

“You put salt then more salt, good job y/n.”

“Huh?” He took another pinch then brought it up to your lips and as you tasted it,

“Why the hell is there two kinds of salt here!”

“One’s fine, the other’s coarse. I wanted to eat these y’know.”

“Fine, head over to my place after school and we can make cookies together.”

“That’s not funny. You can’t mess with cookies,” he muttered.

“Who said I was joking? We can even drizzle honey over it.”

Jake

Perfection doesn’t even begin to describe Sim Jaeyun. A gentleman, kind, smart, has an accent that you can’t help but sometimes tease him about, and obsessed with Layla were all things you couldn’t fault him for. But sometimes, just sometimes, he could be a little too nice. You couldn’t help but feel jealous at the sight of the girl chatting with Jake by the benches and her feeling his arm up.

“Geez, tell her to go away!” you wanted to say to him as you started walking towards them.

“Hey,” Jake said with a smile as his eyes landed on you. The same smile he smiled at her with.

“Are you ready to go?” you asked, trying not to sound pissed but couldn’t help yourself.

“Yeah hold up.” Jake looked at the girl, “Just text if you need help with anything else on the homework,” he said before walking off with you.

“Who was that?” you asked as the two of you made your way to the cafeteria.

“New girl, needs help with physics so she asked me for help.” Jake was supposed to help you with physics.

“You gonna help her on Tuesdays?” you asked, referring to the day Jake always helped you. If he did notice your jealousy, he didn’t say anything about it. Oh, but he did notice. And he kind of wanted to edge it on to see how far things would go.

“Should I? She can hangout with me and Layla.”

“See if she likes me better than Layla.”

“Might take you up on the offer, watch your words, y/n,” he said with a chuckle.

“Yeah? You introduce her to Layla and I’ll divorce you then take full custody.”

“I didn’t know we were married, don’t we gotta go out on a date first?”

“I don’t know, do we?”

“Let’s do it right now then.”

“Fine! Wait what-?”

Sunghoon

On the ice, you and Sunghoon went together like sugar and tea. Off the ice, you two were like the coarse salt that ruined the cookies in Jay’s fic. You and Sunghoon skated well together, putting on a performance that typically got you first place, but that’s exactly what it was. A performance. An act. Nothing more, nothing less. Neither of you talked when you saw each other after practice the next day at school. Neither of you actively told anyone that you knew each other more than most couples did. But there was just something about talking to Sunghoon outside of ice skating, acknowledging that there you had an ice skating persona as well as the persona you showed to everyone else, that frightened you. So both of you made an unspoken agreement that you’d keep your ice skater lives in the rink and outside of it. Except for right now where the transfer student who coincidentally just so happened to be an ice skater and was wondering if you’d be his partner for the upcoming showcase.

“Y/n already has a partner,” Sunghoon said, cutting in as he stood next to you. The transfer student’s eyes settled on Sunghoon,

“You’re Park Sunghoon, the guy who-”

“Almost made it into the Olympics? Yeah. And y/n and I are gonna do it together this year.” You weren’t quite sure how to feel about Sunghoon suddenly “claiming” you (not in a toxic way whatsoever, we don’t condone that here). But you did know that this meant Sunghoon knew of your existence outside of the rink.

“Says who?” you said, trying to see how this would go. He looked at you, fear flashing in his eyes at the thought of the two of you not doing this together.

“I thought, I thought we were? Are we not? We have our outfits planned and everything.”

“I mean… plans change, Hoon.” That nickname, the one only you were allowed to use for him.

“Do you not wanna do it together?”

“I’m just gonna… go,” the transfer student said.

“I do wanna do it together.”

“So then what’s the problem?”

“We kinda don’t have a relationship outside of the rink, Hoon.”

“We can make one, then. Right now.”

“Right now?”

“Right now.”

Sunoo

You’ve always held a level of jealousy towards Sunoo. Sunoo has always been the guy who’s everyone’s friend even if he’s popular, the type of guy who waves at everyone, greets them with a smile on their face, and gets people to attend class/school events. Whereas you’re more on the introverted side, not really liking people. When it’s lunchtime, you tend to eat alone not really giving a damn about everyone else. You’re not exactly an outcast, just more comfortable  by yourself. You’ve always been jealous of how Sunoo’s open to people, talkative, and just overall likable. Because unlike him, people think you’re being mean when you’re quiet and it looks like you’re not listening to whatever it is they’re saying. Around school, Sunoo has earned the nickname Sunny while you’ve been given the nickname Winter. Everyone sees how you walk away whenever Sunoo waves at you in the halls. Everyone is aware of how you scoff whenever Sunoo does aegyo in front of you. Everyone notices how you get mad whenever he links his arm with yours. But it’s Sunoo who sees the glint in your eyes the second they meet his by your locker. It’s Sunoo who notices the slight smile that plays at the corner of your lips whenever he calls himself “ddeonu.” And it’s Sunoo who’s aware that no matter how much you protest when your arms link, you’re never the one to let go first. So he sits at the desk in front of yours during lunch, chatting his butt off about his day while stealing bites of your lunch. He gives you face masks with the excuse of “it was a buy one get one free deal and I don’t know who else to give it to.” He asks if he can style your hair playing it off as “practice.” Little by little, you begin to open up. When you see him in the halls, you start to give him a smile reserved only for him. When he does aegyo you tease him by saying that Jake does it better. And when he links his arms with yours, your pinkies intertwine. You bring an extra bag of chips for lunch and start making your portions larger to share with him. You invite him to the mall since you saw an online promo while walking by. You start to enjoy the way he plays with your hair, sometimes even craving his touch. Because we all know, the sun has its way of melting ice. 

Jungwon

Yang Jungwon, the class president, has a 100% success rate in getting field trip forms submitted on time. Well, it would be 100% if it weren’t for you. It seems as if you’ve made it your life’s mission to do everything and anything that’ll piss off Jungwon. Every time there’s a permission slip that needs to get signed, he constantly finds himself having to remind you of it so that it’d get turned in on time. Yet despite this, you always turn it in a day later. When things are kind of slow in class, you’re always talking to someone and have earned the title of the chatty kid no matter where the teacher makes you sit. Jungwon has no clue how someone as big of a procrastinator as you, always chatting with people when you don’t need to, and has your music playing so loud that everyone else hears, gets the good grades that you do. But regardless of what you do, you don’t bring down the class average so he’ll give you that. It’s time for a new seating arrangement and where does the teacher have you sit? Right next to him. So he’s dreading it, knowing that for the next 2 weeks he won’t get any work done, have to deal with you chatting to everyone, and has to be the one to catch you up when you enter class late.

“Hey,” you say with a smile as you settle in the seat next to his. He likes your smile, he won’t lie. But you’re annoying as hell. One week goes by as a back and forth of you constantly making efforts to get on Jungwon’s nerves but he returns the favor while teasing you back. With the two of you as partners, he starts to notice some things about you. Things like how you play with your thumb before raising your hand to answer the question. He sees that your notes are full of rushed scribbles and you dot your i’s close to the center but not just there. Your binder is covered with artwork of things you like and photos of you and your friends. Amidst your chattiness and tardiness, he finds himself looking forwards to certain things. He looks forward to your messy hair as you rush in 15 minutes late and start scribbling your notes in an effort to catch up. He looks forwards to how your conversations become a distraction from lectures. And he wonders to himself, what it’d be like if he were a photo in your binder.

As the second week continues, you start to see things differently with Jungwon. His reminders become less annoying and more useful as you take it in mind. When you’re late, he already has a second copy of the notes waiting for you on your desk. He buys you stickers for your binder using the excuse of “I stole it from my sister.” Before either of you realize it, it’s time for a new seating chart.

“Guess you’re happy to get rid of me, Wonie,” you joke as the two of you stood up to head to your new seats.

“I want you to sit across from me,” you hear him say.

“Huh?”

“At the Eggy Cafe on our first date,” he says before heading to his new seat.

Ni-ki

Dance class, it’s exhausting. Countless hours spent practicing a choreography that only lasts for a few minutes. Constantly getting yelled at by your teacher when you take a wrong step. Continuously in an unspoken competition with the best dancer of the school, Nishimura Riki. Ni-ki fools around during practices, usually to get on your nerves. Whenever you buy bungeoppang at the stall in front of the school, half of it instantly belongs to Ni-ki as he takes a bite when you’re not looking. Whenever the two of you are the only ones who’ve got the choreography down, sometimes you’ll slow things down to piss him off. There’s a flow to Ni-kis dances that no one else can replicate, a flow he was born with and can never be taught. Everyone, including him, is aware of this. But you’ve always been different from everyone else. All his life, he’s been told how good at dancing he is but you criticize him. While the others applaud his performance, your eyes are watching his every move. He almost hates how well you can spot the mistakes he can’t even see on himself. But as time goes on, these little competitions start to develop between you two, even outside of dance. When dance class ends, the two of you race to see who’ll get to the bungeoppang stall first. Last one there pays for bungeoppang. This is the competition you let Ni-ki win, using “I’m already tired from dancing” as an excuse. In the mornings, you compete to get to first period. Loser pays for lunch. This is the competition where there’s a middle ground between you two. Sometimes you win, sometimes he wins, other times you enter class together. When walking home, you compete to get to the bottom of the stairs at the subway station first. Whoever loses has to carry the other’s bag until you get home. Ni-ki lets you win this one, using “If I ran any faster I’d trip,” as an excuse. These small competitions become the things you look forward to throughout the week, enjoying the thrill of small moments with Ni-ki. At one point, the two of you (on separate occasions) talked to Jungwon about the competitions, telling your side. To the both of you, he says the same thing. “Why don’t you see who asks the other out first and plans the better date?”

❦ written by riri (@enhykkul)  | blog masterlist

requests are currently open! rules can be found here | anon emojis

[staplernpaper]

Harvey who (Spencer Reid x reader)

Summary: Spencer accidentally overhears your conversation with Penelope. After hearing the conversation, he thinks you're dating a man named Harvey. But Harvey isn't exactly what spencer thinks he is.

Word count: 3.7k

Warnings: Mentions of divorce

Author note: Ten points if you can guess whose Harvey. What did the nut say while chasing the other nut, I'm a cashew.

It was really rare for Spencer to befriend people within his age range. You however were one of those few exceptions. Your friendship started out as work colleague status which eventually blossomed into a friend outside of work status. Even though that was expected when joining the BAU; when someone new joins they slowly integrate into the family. This was different. Since you were both close in age, you never really saw him as a kid but rather an equal. It was refreshing on his part.

Being in the same age range wasn't the only reason he considered you as a friend. Turns out you are very similar to him in terms of personality and preferences. You both didn't enjoy spending your weekends at noisy clubs but rather enjoy the silence of your home with a good book in hand. You both shared a love of sci-fi shows, his vast knowledge made movie nights more fun as he'd be able to point out the fiction from facts. His rambles were one of the many things you looked forward to at work, so when word got out that you actually enjoy hearing it, he'd obviously started rambling more during your hangouts.

While you were close with Spencer, he obviously wasn't your only friend on the team. You considered everyone on the team to be your friend, but other than Spencer you'd also considered Penelope to be another close friend. While he and you shared some interests, there are just some things that he doesn't understand. Especially newer and recent pop culture. So whenever you needed to geek out on a new video game or tv show, you'd usually talk to her. Because of this, it was a really common occurrence for you to run away to the 'Batcave' during lunch hour. Which exactly was what is happening right now.

For the past week, you've been hanging out a lot with Penelope. During your lunch hour, you'd either go to the 'Batcave' to hang out or go out to have lunch with just the two of you. Spencer was obviously saddened by this cause he was starting to miss being by your side. Of course, he didn't want to intrude on your Garcia time. Therefore, he thought it would be a good idea to buy your favourite pastries and beverage from your favourite café. He wanted to see you just for a bit and see your smile. Seeing that smile would really make his day. So with drinks and pastries in hand, he made his way to the 'Batcave'. He had food for you, him, and Penelope (he didn't want to leave her out).

As he was approaching the room, he could somewhat hear your conversation. However, as he got closer that's when he could truly hear the words that were being uttered. He stopped on a dead track. For what he heard knocked him out of his mismatched socks.

"Ahhh!!! Pen I gave Harvey the bouquet of flowers yesterday. We're officially dating"

" That's so good for Kitten!!! You've been gushing about that doctor all week"

Spencer was shocked. Never had you mentioned that you were seeing someone else. Let alone mentioned that you were interested in a 'Harvey'. Hearing this made his stomach turned. But he really didn't know why. Shouldn't he feel happy for you? You finally found someone who could potentially be a partner that you could spend your whole life with. However he couldn't help but think, where would he be in this equation. Will you have to forgo your friendship to spend time with this Harvey. His brain was running through the many possibilities that he didn't hear the door opening.

" Oh hey Spencie, glad to see you here," you remarked. There you stood at the door with those beautiful (y/e/c) eyes staring back at him.

"Hi there (y/n), I umm.. decided to go to that café you liked to pick up some coffee. While I was there I thought I'd also pick some pastries and drinks for you and Penelope. Uh here you go." he stated as handed the foods and beverages to you. Judging by your smile, you were very delighted by this surprise. You handed Garcia her drink and food.

"Ohh Spencer you are truly a sweetheart" Garcia thanked him. She had also offered Spencer to join them. A part of him wanted to, this was finally a chance to be with you. But another part of him dreaded it, for he was afraid that if he joined the topic of conversation would be about this Harvey. Weighing out the odds he declined Garcia offer.

" I'd really like to but I can't. Derek asked if I could help him with his paperwork umm.. as he seems to be a bit behind so I ahh.. really need to get back to work. I'll see you later." he fumbled with his words as he tried to come up with a good enough excuse. Hopefully, Derek would be willing to play along later.

" Okie Dokie then I'll see you later then. Bye-bye," you responded with a wave. Spencer returned the wave and made his way out of the room. As soon as he was out of your sight, he made a dash for it. Maybe Emily or Derek would know more about this 'Harvey'.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since lunch hour was almost over he knew he could find them at their respective desks soon. He took a seat at his desk while waiting for either Morgan or Emily. While waiting, his brain kept running through the many possibilities of what this 'Harvey' guy is like. What made you attracted to him. Was it his looks? His Personality? How did you meet? He kept asking himself all these questions, but of course, his train of thought would be disturbed.

"Umm Spencer, you okay?" Emily concerned seeing him stare into space, it was definitely out of character for him.

Even though Spencer's first intention was to ask Emily and/or Derek about Harvey, the rational side of his brain thought that this was a bad idea. This is your love life, maybe he shouldn't be such a busy body. "Oh, it's nothing” Spencer tried to brush it off maybe he really shouldn’t pry into your love life.

Even though Emily didn’t buy it she didn’t want to pry him further. He’ll tell when he's ready. But of course, Spencer's brain wouldn't let him rest. How long have you been dating? What if you got married to 'Harvey'? Oh, screw it!!!

“Has (y/n) mentioned seeing anyone?” Spencer hesitantly asked Emily

“No. Not That I'm aware of”

Spencer was obviously saddened by this. He was hoping that someone other than Penelope would have intel on Harvey.

"Why is she seeing someone?" Emily was truly shocked. Seeing the way Spencer and you interacted, she thought you two would have a major crush on one another. I mean It was pretty obvious on Spencer's part.

" I mean I'm not too sure. I overheard her conversation with Penelope..." Spencer explained further the details he heard to Emily.

As soon as Spencer finished explaining to Emily, Derek made his appearance. What perfect timing.

" What you two gossiping about?" Derek inquired. Seeing Emily and Spencer so close to each other meant that whatever they were talking about had to be juicy.

" A guy named Harvey stole Spencer's chance on asking (y/n) out" Even though she knew Spencer was having an internal meltdown on this situation, she couldn't help but tease him.

" Hey, I don't have a crush on (y/n). I just wanted to know if either knew more about Harvey. So far the only thing I know is that he's a doctor "

" Wait, I think I know who this 'Harvey' guy is." As soon as Derek stated those words Spencer turned his head and focused towards him.

Spencer was shocked. I mean Emily didn't know anything about Harvey. The girls of the BAU rarely kept secrets from each other. How would Derek know? Or was he just trying to trick him the way most older brothers do to their younger siblings?

" Yeah if I'm not mistaken he's a doctor who works in a clinic. Penelope was telling me how (y/n) would totally be interested in a guy like him. From what she said he's a kind-hearted coffee addict who's into jazz and model planes"

Recalling back from the conversation, Penelope did mention that he was a doctor. Therefore, the Harvey that Derek was telling them had to be the same Harvey he overheard. This was exactly what Spencer wanted, he wanted to know more about Harvey. He got what he wanted yet he felt despaired by this info. But why?

His sad facial expression was obvious to Derek and Emily. You didn't need to be a profiler to be able to see it.

" Hey, Spence don't be sad. Maybe this relationship won't last and then you'll have another chance to ask her out" Emily joked trying her best to reassure him.

" For the last time, I don't have a crush on (y/n). Sure I'm a little bit sad that we won't get to hang out like we used BUT I'm not sad that she finally found a partner. A partner that will spend their whole life making her happy" Spencer tried to convince Derek and Emily. But the way he was explaining it was as if he was also trying to convince himself.

" Really?" Derek raised an eyebrow. He obviously wasn't convinced.

" Yes. My feelings to her are 100% platonic" trying to further convince them.

" Your sad at the idea that she'd likely spend less time with you right?" Derek asked Spencer.

" Yes"

" Why would you be sad in the first place. You weren't sad when JJ started spending less time with you when she and William started to get serious"

" That's different. The dynamic that I have with JJ is different from the dynamic I have with (y/n)"

" Oh really, how so?" a smug tone was now evident in Derek's voice.

" I don't know," Spencer was somewhat frustrated with this interrogation that Derek was conducting.

" The way I see it is your jealous of the idea of her spending time with someone else because you want her to use that time with you"

" That doesn't prove that I have a crush on her," Spencer tried to rebuttal.

" That's not the only thing pretty boy, you also bought drinks and foods for her just so you could spend time with her. You spend most of your time talking and thinking about her. Which is exactly what we're doing right now," Derek continued listing all the other signs that proved that Spencer had a crush on you.

" Well, there you go. All the signs of a crush. Therefore you have hots for (y/n)," Derek teased Spencer.

Maybe Derek was right. Maybe he did have a crush on you.

Shocked at the newfound feelings he had for you, he decided to take a sip of the coffee he bought. He stopped drinking when he realized that this wasn't his drink, but rather Gracia's. He was contemplating if he should return it or wait for Garcia to retrieve her rightful drink. However, since it's been a good 15 minutes since his visit to Garcia's office, he knew he would have to make the first move.

" I'll be right back. I accidentally took Garcia's drink."

Once spencer was out of hearing range, Emily started her own little interrogation.

" Hey! I thought we ALL agreed that (ship name) should and will happen. It was Garcia who came up with the name for goodness sake. Why would she Garcia set (y/n) with somebody else?"

" Trust me Harvey is not who you think he is"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At this point in time, he thought all conversations of Harvey would halt. He was so wrong. But what he heard this time, made him sick to his stomach.

" If I play my cards right, I should be able to propose in roughly two weeks. After proposing we'll get married after three days. Then I'll have Harvey as my beloved husband" Your chipper voice most likely reflected the immense joy that you were feeling. This was such a huge contrast to what he was feeling. He had this really uneasy feeling in his stomach. A sense of hopelessness, anguish and despair took over his body.

This was a bad idea. You've only just started officially dating yesterday but now you have already planned to get married in less than a month. In their line of work, you should have known better than jumping into a relationship like that.

For a second he thought that this was simply jealousy speaking. Maybe it wasn't right to interfere. But after a second thought, he knew that this was crazy. He will try to talk you out of this little senseless escapade later. For now, he'd stick to his original plan

With a knock on the door, he made his entrance. He handed Penelope her correct drink and she returned his back. Thank whatever deities existed that prevented Penelope from taking a sip from spencer's coffee.

" Hey Spencie, since I should be getting back to my desk let's walk back together" Before even waiting for a response, you instantly made your way next to him. You both said your goodbyes to Garcia and made your way back to your desk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since you planned on proposing to Harvey in two weeks, he knew he had to confront you today and the sooner the better. Throughout the whole day, Spencer has been meaning to talk to you. First, it was during your walk back to the desks. He thought he could broach the subject, however, since it was the end of lunch hour a whole slew of people was in the halls. He couldn't have a private conversation with you.

He made another attempt when he saw you alone in the break room. Even though the break room had an open concept, it was already 5pm therefore half of the people on this floor had already left. Though he wanted to have this conversation in private, this opportunity was better than nothing. He was about to get up from his desk but then he saw Anderson making his way to the break room. He then started a conversation with thus ruining his chances to talk to you ALONE in the break room.

Alright, third times the charm. There he stood outside the door of your apartment. He was kind of hoping you wouldn't be home however he could see the light coming through from under the door and hear your footsteps from inside. He was practically shaking like a leaf, his hands were clammy and rehearsing was he was going to say under his breath. It's now or never.

DING DONG

Once he rang the doorbell, his heart had begun pounding rapidly and a sense of doom began to surface. A part of him wanted to make a run for it, in fact, he was about to make a run for it. But then the door opened.

" Hey Spencie, surprise to see you here. What brings you here at night?" Spencer had been practising on what he was going to say to you the whole day. Before reaching your apartment he had already decided which version of the speech he wanted to say. But now standing here and seeing you in your pyjamas, he ended up fumbling with his sentences. It was a mess.

Your face contorted in confusion, no denying you were puzzled at the words Spencer was trying to say. However, since you were only wearing your pyjamas and still standing at the door, the night air started nipping at your skin. Since the cold was starting to get to you, you invited Spencer inside. Hopefully, he'll be able to properly compose his word inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spencer was currently sitting on your couch while you were in the kitchen brewing up some coffee. He felt somewhat defeated since he couldn't get the right words out. His shaking hands were the evidence of his nervousness. He needed to calm down.

Breathe in

Breathe out...

Breathe in

Breathe out...

You did always say the breathing exercises did help calm your nerves. Now he was a little bit more calmed and composed. His hands were a little bit shaky but definitely more steady. Rehearsing what he was going to say, he felt like he was ready. He planned to say something around these lines:

1. Tell her what you overheard. Don't forget to apologize for listening to their private conversation.

2. Congratulate you on your new relationship.

3. Try to find out more about Harvey. Maybe she'll tell him something about the relationship that is a major red flag (besides the upcoming proposal)

4. Tell her about overhearing her wanting to propose. Don't forget to apologize again for snooping on a private conversation.

5. Try to put a stop to the engagement. Statistical facts would help to suede her to not propose.

In the many versions of his speech, he did include confessing his feelings but decided against it. It would have been selfish of him to do so. If you did find your true love he'll try to support you the best he can, even if it kills him. But he definitely could not support you in getting married so soon into a relationship. Even if he didn't have feelings for you he would still try to talk you out of it; it was a crazy idea in general.

His internal speech rehearsal was interrupted when he heard the door's of the kitchen opening and the closing. You made your way to the couch with two mugs in hand, you handed spencer's his coffee and set yours onto the coffee table.

" At first I thought your surprise appearance was because you wanted to hang out. But seeing you agitated and fumbling with your words, there's obviously something you want to tell me," Although your voice was calm and soothing, he couldn't help but feel like he was being called out, it just made him nervous.

Nervous to the point where he decided to forgo his original plan

" You can't marry him!!!" Spencer burst out to you.

" I'm sorry, Marry? Marry who exactly?"

" Harvey. I sorry but I overhear your conversation with Garcia earlier. I heard how to were going to propose to Harvey in two weeks"

"Spencer," You called his name in order to stop him. it didn't work.

"From what I heard you only began officially dating yesterday. Also congratulations to that"

"Spencer"

"But I think it's way too soon to propose"

"Spencer"

"Did you know that research surveyed 3000 people, those that dated one to two years dropped their likelihood of divorce by 20 percent at any given time point and those who dated three or more dropped to 50 percent. And..."

" SPENCER!!!"

Spencer stopped his ramble midway. The room became silent. But then your laughter broke said silence.

" Spencer I think you need a little bit more context," you said while rubbing the tears from your little laughing session. "I think instead of telling you maybe you should meet Harvey"

You went to your room to retrieve your laptop to bring it to the living room. Then, you made him sit right next to you so he could see your screen. After clicking on an icon of a chicken on your desktop, the screen opened up to a quaint tune played and the word 'Stardew Valley' appeared. At this point, Spencer was already able to piece it together.

On the screen, your farmer woke up from their bed

HARVEY

Then you had your farmer water the crops that were growing

IS

Then your farmer made their way to the town

The farmer then heads to the clinic. You then click on a brown hair character.

A

"Spencer say hi to Harvey"

On the screen out pops out a dialogue box. Next to the dialogue was a pixelated art of a man with a moustache and glasses. At the bottom of the image was the name of the character: Harvey.

VIDEOGAME CHARACTER

Harvey is a videogame character

Spencer felt a wave of embarrassment wave throughout his body. This moment could easily topple the ranks of Spencer's other embarrassing moments.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Judging by the prominent blush on his face and the lack of eye-contact, you could tell that he was embarrassed by this predicament.

" So let me get this straight, you thought I was gonna marry someone I've only been dating for less than a month. And you came here to talk me out of it?" confirmation of his action would help understand this situation better. Plus it was cute to see him blush.

" Yes," he answered timidly.

" In our line of work, I don't think so," hopefully a joke would bring back his spirits.

" That's what I thought of too" Spencer chuckled.

The feeling of comfort was present in the room. Now would be a perfect time, here goes.

" You wanna know why out of all the other town's folks, Harvey was the one I choose"

Spencer gave you a confused look

"Cause he's one who's the most like you. You're both shy, love your coffee way too much and plus you kinda look alike. I guess what I'm trying to say is the reason I'm dating Harvey is cause he's just like you. And I uhh.... really wanna date you cause I like you," now it was your turn to avoid eye contact and fumble with your words.

Throughout your confession, Spencer just sat there quietly with his mouth agape. " I completely understand if you don't feel the same, we can continue to be just friends if you want..." you continued on using whatever reassurance needed to be said in order to save your friendship.

Your little ramble stopped when Spencer uttered these beautiful words:

" I feel the same way. I like you too"

With the two of you knowing your true feelings for one another, you looked at each other with a loving look. "So now that I know I don't have to compete with Harvey, How would you like to go out on a date with me?" Spencer asked.

" I'd loved to go on a date with you"

[attemptinghaikyuu]

Fake Dating: Suna

A/n: I was going to do my English homework but then I thought of fake relationship shenanigans and I had to do this instead

G/n reader

Suna Rintarou

Being friends with Atsumu, you met Suna when he asked you to bring him a book he forgot in class

You got to the gym and actually threw the book at him, ya know... thinking he’d catch it, however Atsumu’s brain went into setter mode

He ended up setting it to Osamu and Suna got the whole thing on video

Once you stopped laughing and Tsumu stopped yelling at you and Samu, you ran over to Suna and convinced him to send you the video

You were so excited about it, Suna was both put off and glad someone understood the joy of blackmail

You literally started bugging him after that to get anything he had on your friend

Honestly though, it’s a pretty symbiotic friendship

You don’t get anything on Atsumu too often, but when you do? It’s the good stuff~

Suna’s genuinely impressed with your high quality videos and sometimes y’all passive aggressively share tips

You’re both kinda protective over how you get your blackmail, so that’s why it looks like you’ll make sure the other regrets something while you talk camera angles

You both have soft friendship moments tho🥺

When Atsumu messed up and got gum in your hair, Suna helped cut it out and made sure to give you some blackmail on him to make you feel better

He also gave you a hug

You end up comforting him when Atsumu does something without thinking and leaves Suna upset

No one’s there to comfort Atsumu when you two do something stupid to him thoughasjkbcf

It’s actually Atsumu’s fault you and Suna decide to mess with him to a higher degree then you’ve ever done before

That’s why you’re both standing in front of your shared friend, telling him you’re dating

Because you’re petty and think it’ll be funny

Plus if Tsumu didn’t want this to happen, he shouldn’t have made the cookies that Osamu baked spicy

The cookies Osamu shared with you and Suna... the cookies that nearly made him puke

Suna is surprisingly hateful towards anything spicy, he looked like he wanted to strangle Atsumu after you all knew what had happened, but you had a better idea~

A funnier idea✨

Atsumu is indignant and disbelieving of your little announcement, he points “Ya can’t be serious!”

You grab Suna’s hand and smile, “Were 100% serious Tsumu, you should know Rin and I never lie.”

He scowls and turns to Suna “I’m not dense, ya really think ya can mess with me like this?”

But without missing a beat, Suna leans down and kisses your cheek smiling

He’s doing a good job at acting, so much so that you’re blushing

It must be convincing to Atsumu, considering the look of pure horror painting his features, as he looks at the scene before him

You’re glad you got Samu to record from behind the corner, you’ll enjoy watching this later

You’ll probably watch it with your “boyfriend” >:)

“Did you really think we were joking?” You ask, blush cooling down

Atsumu turns away, muttering about needing to help Kita-san with something

Osamu comes out and the three of you share an evil smirk before you guys head to class, basically forgetting about what you’d done for the rest of the day

You both walk into the gym and you’re jokingly, threatening to show a video you have of Suna to his teacher when Tsumu walks over

He’s more cheerful now, and it looks like he’s trying to congratulate you for something?? And oh! He’s apologizing for not believing his friends... and for freaking out over something like dating

You scramble for words, Suna beats you to it as he swings his arm around your shoulder “Took you long enough. I guess we forgive you, right babe?”

Oh, looks like y’all were gonna sell, sell this fake dating thing

So you give affirmation, waiting for Tsumu to leave to ask, genuinely curious “Suna, are we really going to keep this going?”

He shrugs his shoulders and reasons “It’ll be all the better when he finds out.” He pauses “Also, call me Rin, it’s more convincing if you do that like you did earlier.”

So you keep it up

At first Osamu’s confused as to why you’re not stopping, but after an explanation, he gives you both a look and just nods he already knows where this leads

After this, you and Suna start a grove of looking like a couple all the time

He’s constantly leaning against you, resting his head on top of yours, and laying his head in your lap

He also gets your favorite snacks when you have hangouts dates

The best part of this whole thing to you, ends up being when you get these little fluttery, warm moments with Rin where you tell a joke or show him a video and instead of focusing on it like he would before, his attention is on you

Sometimes he’ll do this with a smile

It’s strange how normal it all felt, it was so easy to get used to and it’d been nearly three months since the whole thing had started

You wonder, with building dread, when you’ll have to tell Tsumu it was all a big joke to mess with him...

You realize you need to know when this is going to come to an end so you can prepare for the hurt it’s gonna bring

Anxiously, you bring it up with Suna at your house one day

“Hey, so... you know we’ve been doing this for awhile and well, when are we telling Tsumu it’s fake..?”

His eyes are on you in an instant, giving you a surprised look

“...”

“Rin?”

He sighs, rotating himself to wrap his body around you

You try to ignore the warm feeling in your chest, but it bursts at the words that you hear

“I’d rather not tell him when it isn’t fake,” he loosens his hold on you, “to me at least.”

Shimmying deeper into his hold you put your arms around him, giving him a reassuring squeeze

“Nah, it would be weird to tell him its fake when it’s real.”

He tightens his hold once again and neither of you can stop smiling

You tell Samu the good news the next day at school

He sighs when you do, mumbling how he knew it and that he shouldn’t have expected two lovesick idiots, to be able to get revenge on his brother

[strawberryjamsara]

Idea for a yttd no death game au that I may or may not write

-Joe is dying and Sara is frantically pushing at the button trying to stop him from succumbing. Everything seems bleak. Then she wakes up with the reveal it was a dream. Gin is shaking her awake yelling that Kai made chocolate chip pancakes and to go downstairs.

-Keiji is also down there, looking like he just woke up. Sara makes a snide comment about his eyebags, and he retorts that she doesn’t have much room to talk after she just refused to go to bed last night. Kai just serves breakfast with several one liners and Gin makes a comment about how he’s glad Kai is around because Mr Policeman and Muscle Gorilla can’t cook. Keiji takes offense to this and offers to try and make a side dish and about ten seconds in cuts himself on the knife. He gets the shit roasted out of him. Qtaro comes down looking pretty good and proceeds to see all the food is gone and gets roasted. All is well and good but something is bothering Sara.

-She meets up on the school path with Joe, Ranmaru and Anzu and they all begin teasing Ranmaru and pointing out his crush on Sara. At one point Anzu and Joe walk ahead and Ranmaru asks Sara if he can talk to her in private some time soon. Sara agrees then goes up to Joe and Anzu to loudly tell them that Ranmaru is gonna confess. Ranmaru protests loudly.

-She has a good day at school. Professor Mishima has always been her favorite teacher. However he says the old assignment Sara was working on got lost so she’ll have to start again. Sara agrees and accepts his apology, as well as his offer for an extension, and begins trying to recreate her old painting but comes to the realization she doesn’t remember what her last painting was.

-To amend this, she tries calling up Nao after school, since she remembers doing a lot of the piece with her. But strangely, Nao doesn’t seem to remember either. Nao offers to come up with a new painting if Sara comes over though, and Sara agrees. But before that her meeting with Ranmaru.

-She meets Ranmaru behind the school where he asks if she had a weird dream last night. She’s surprised and is about to say yes, but a sinking feeling arrives in her stomach at the idea of acknowledging it. She tells him no. So he says okay and tells her she can leave.

-She comes to Nao’s house and finds the usual scene. Reko is keeping to herself, Alice is lounging around before loudly announcing her presence when she comes in, and Nao is excited to see her! When coming up with a theme they toss ideas back and forth before Sara just suggests… a button pressing. She doesn’t know why. She just wants to. Nao doesn’t see a problem. Sara goes to give Reko a wave out before she leaves but she seems to be in a crabby mood. Alice explains it’s because of Samurai Yaibas concert getting cancelled due to an unexpected meltdown whatever that means. Sara offers to go shopping downtown with them on the promised day to make up for it. They agree and Sara is on her way.

-Sara is trying to go to sleep at night but the lights down the hall are still on so she storms to Keiji’s room to tell him to go the fuck to sleep it’s 1 in the morning. Good night Keiji.

-The next day, her and Joe are being sent together to babysit Kanna and Hinako after school. During school, Anzu asks Sara about her confession from Ranmaru and Sara just informs her of the conversation from yesterday. Anzu gasps and makes cries of Ranmaru playing with Sara’s heart, and Ranmaru tells her to calm down and more shenanigans ensue as they make a bigger and bigger scene.

-Joe is sent to pick up Hinako while Sara is out in charge of going to the Tsukimi’s and waiting on Kanna. Shin is pretty much already halfway out the door trying to get to work when she gets there, and she makes a few jokes at his expense but then feels a need to back off at how hard he recoils- usually he claps back twice as hard. Maybe she caught him on a bad day- and Joe comes in with Hinako who seems to have a new habit of writing everything that happens down. They watch She ra and play pretend well into the night and Shin comes back, thanks Sara and Joe profusely, and they even play a quick game of Mario Kart together, Sara taking note of how squeamish Shin is.

-Sara wakes up to see the lights are on again. She stomps to Keiji’s room again but this time she sees him hurriedly putting away a theory board when she comes in. She doesn’t know and she’s too tired to care. Goodnight Keiji.

-Ranmaru is absent from school the next day. Anzu and Joe are complaining loudly, but Sara for some reason feels a deep pit of dread in her stomach. She excuses herself trying to call him but gets no response. So she pulls Joe aside and tells him she had a dream he died and the last one on one conversation she had with Ranmaru was him asking her if she had a weird dream. Joe agrees that’s kinda weird and they decide to go around looking for answers.

-But first Reko Alice and Sara hangout! They go shopping downtown, and eventually stop at Mai’s bakery to sit down and eat. Throughout the trip Sara notices Reko being uncharacteristically mean to people they run into. Sara questions this before Alice replies that she’s always been like this and Sara must be remembering wrong. Sara can’t help but feel like she’s had this conversation before. On the bright side, Samurai Yaiba got rescheduled and Sara is invited. She gets 4 tickets, one for her, one for Anzu, one for Joe, and one for Ranmaru. She goes back home and tries to speculate on the personality shifts between Reko and Shin.

-It’s Sunday and time for Sara and Joe’s investigation! They meet up at her house, where they play with Gin and chat with Qtaro and Kai, then go off looking for leads, starting with Ranmaru’s apartment which is completely vacant. They track a few leads that go nowhere the final being that they know he would sometimes try to go and start shit with Kurumada so they go ask him and see him talking with Shin and Kanna, so they ask him and Shin for information. They don’t really have anything, and Shin actually says he’s looking for Hinako since she got a little far from him in a crowd. They agree and track her down writing notes again, and explain the situation, but Sara picks up one of the notes. “‘The case for Ranmaru Kageyama’? ‘A non-termination request’? What is thi-“ then she feels a shock at her back and falls over. “Sorry Sara senpai. I’m doing what I can.”

-Sara wakes up back in her room the next day. Was that a dream? She eats breakfast again tuning everything out, remembering how the scene went last week and then she remembers what bothered her so much about last weeks breakfast.

-Keiji didn’t bleed when he cut himself.

-Ranmaru is back in class the next day. Sara runs up to him trying to get answers out of him only to realize he hardly knows her and thinks she’s just a random classmate he’s never talked too. She yells to Joe and Anzu to snap him out of it but they seem to share a similar sentiment. She’s totally lost.

-She goes up to Mishima and asks what her previous art piece she was working on was. He says he doesn’t remember. That’s between her Nao and her own teacher not remembering. What is going on? How could they just forget? Did someone just erase it? Mishima asks if she’d like to see the nurse and she agrees.

-Until she sees the nurse. It’s her. She looks meek and quiet but the second Sara sees her her stomach drops to her shoes. She has to get out of there.

-She runs home- Keiji- Keiji had that theory board, he was saying something about her refusing to go to bed for some reason, and he went cooking to show her he didn’t bleed- he must know something-

-She finds the house empty. She calls for Kai and Gin and Qtaro and Keiji but nobody comes. The theory board- she runs to Keiji’s room and finds it- dolls- AIs- wait what? Everyone here was dolls and AIs? Was she…? She takes a pin from the board and pricks herself but she bleeds… so was everyone else… was this a box meant for her? Why?

-Then suddenly it slams into her brain like a freight train. She remembers what the previous version of the painting was.

-A sea of death. A pool of crimson with her standing above it, like she was somehow walking on top of it.

-“Ah… that’s another attempt miserably failed.”

-She turns around. She sees him. She doesn’t know him and yet she despises this person like mad. “Midori!”

-“You winning the game wasn’t supposed to be so much of a pain. Putting you in this glorified simulation for therapy is so much more trouble than it’s worth, but you were so hysterical otherwise we didn’t have a choice! And Hinako insisting we keep in people who keep cracking the code… we might have to do something about her too… but that’s nothing for you to worry about! Now go to sleep Ms Sara! When you wake up, everything will be fine again.”

[please-buckme]

Makeup.

Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

Summary: Bucky and reader are old friends of a sort and have secretly, but not so secretly, had feelings for each other. What will arise when their feelings for each other are finally brought to the surface? Read the warnings and you’ll find out.

Words: 4.1k

Warnings: Smut 18+ NSFW, a lil fluff, self hate, oral ( m receiving, f receiving) unprotected shmex

A/N: It’s been a minute, but I’m so excited to share this with you guys! Thank you @gogolucky13 for putting up with my constant self doubt and questions 😅❤️

The days dragged on as she worked tirelessly through the week. Once Friday hit, though, there was an excited heaviness that ran through her chest. Friday’s always excited her because Friday, of course, meant the weekend was here and so was the bottle of wine that awaited her at home.

This Friday, however, excited her for another reason: Bucky.

Bucky Barnes is the best friend of y/n’s, newly single, ex husband. She had despised her husband for many years, and for good reason.

Y/n was never allowed to do anything without her husband’s approval. Her ex had her stuck under his thumb for over ten years. She couldn’t go out with friends, had to dress appropriately; which to him meant a dress, stockings and heels. And she wouldn’t dare leave the house without makeup. If he were strict on her on one thing more so than anything, it was makeup.

When y/n woke up in the mornings she had to put makeup on before he saw her, or else he’d make nasty comments. In the beginning, the things he would say to her made her feel horrible. She felt like crawling into a whole and never coming out, to save people from seeing the bare skin of her face. But after a while she’d snap back saying things like ‘I only wish you’d wear makeup, I can’t bear looking at your ugly mug for another second.’ she was harsh, but he was far worse.

She hated her life with him. He was dreadful to be around and a horrible man to be married to. At times, y/n felt like the only good thing that came from there marriage was Bucky. The second they met she’d adored him. Bucky made her laugh, made her feel human anytime he came over, which was quite often. She never really understood why Bucky was friends with him, but she never questioned it. She loved Bucky’s company and missed him so much. Since she’d divorced her husband she hadn’t seen Bucky; it’d been almost a year.

She called Bucky the other day to let him know that her ex had left some stuff at her house and wondered if he’d pick it up. She was elated when he agreed to come.

Y/n had just gotten home when she’d heard Bucky at her door. Shit she cursed to herself, he’s early. Her hands began to shake while the butterflies in her stomach began to flutter. Taking in a few deep breaths and a calming voice telling her ‘you got this, now open the fucking door before he leaves’ , she opened the door.

“Oh god, Bucky,” She purred. He was dressed in a tight leather jacket, adorned with his shiny, muscular, metal arm on full display. She shamelessly looked him over, practically drooling over the greek-god-like man in front of her. “Are you trying to kill me?” She giggled, feeling the blush burn on her cheeks.

“No, of course not.” He laughed, showing off his beautiful smile. Y/n’s breath hitched in her throat, totally enamored by his natural beauty. She stopped laughing and looked towards the floor mat at the door, suddenly feeling self conscious. Before she could be consumed by her self doubting thoughts, bucky continued, “I rode my bike over, which I now know was kind of stupid. I hope you didn’t have too much for me to grab.” He gave her a toothy grin, leaning against the door frame.

“I guess you’ll just have to come back for the stuff you can’t get, which is totally fine by me.” she countered with a wink. His blue eyes bored into hers, making her stomach twist. She bit back a moan then realized she hadn’t invited him in yet, “Oh my gosh, please, come in. How rude of me.” Bucky laughed, following her into the house and closing the door behind him.

“I did just get home, so do you mind if I get dressed down?” She asked, fiddling with the pins in her hair.

“Oh no, go ahead,” He sent her a soft smile, “Just tell me where the stuff is and I will go ahead and bring it down to my bike.” She nodded and had him follow her to the master bedroom closet.

“It’s these four boxes and a few of these dress shirts that I know he needs. I’m just gonna throw away the others.” She smirked and Bucky chuckled.

“Well, since I brought my bike, I can grab two of the boxes and the shirts but I’ll have to come back for the others.” He scratched the back of his neck. He brought the bike to impress y/n, which he realized worked when she gave him a look that could kill, at the door. It took everything in him not to take her right there, same for y/n too. He was secretly praising himself for bringing the bike, too, because now he has an excuse to come back.

Y/n smirked, “Sounds good to me.” She paused, biting her lip as she watched him grab the boxes from the top shelf of the closet. “I’m gonna go take my makeup off now, you good?”

“All good, Doll.” She blushed at the nickname before disappearing to the bathroom. She did her whole unbeautify skin routine, then slipped on some comfy leggings and an old t-shirt. Bucky got her the t-shirt years ago and it’s one of her most cherished articles of clothing, she wonders if he’ll recognize it.

By the time she was done, Bucky had finished strapping the boxes to his bike and was sitting on her bed, facing the bathroom.

“All done?” They simultaneously asked each other, both of them shyly laughed. The room was dimly lit, making y/n wonder what it would be like falling asleep next to him.

“Hey, I remember that shirt. It still looks great on you. Best purchase I ever made.” He smiles weakly. He looks sorful, looking back on the memory wasn’t great for him. He was going to tell y/n of his feelings that day but chickened out. He’s regretted it ever since.

Her nerves got the best of her in that moment as she cleared her throat and laughed breathily, “Uh, thank you. It’s one of my favorites, actually.” Bucky was lost in his thoughts as he stared at her “So- you got it all?” She asked, timidly.

“Um, yeah. As much as I could. Is everything okay?” He asked, suddenly sounding concerned. She tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear.

“I.. uh, yeah- why?”

Bucky huffs, “oh, no reason I just noticed you changed but didn’t take your makeup off. ” The flush on her cheeks turns to a little pink tint, was he being serious or mocking her?

“Shut up.” She laughs off the comment.

“What? Did I say something?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, I did take my makeup off. This is my face.” She says, framing her face and sucking in her cheeks and puckering her lips.

Bucky laughs, “I guess I didn’t notice. You’re just as beautiful with it off. Might as well not wear it, in my opinion.”

“W- what?” She was stunned. No one has, not even her ex, told her she was beautiful in years. As time went on she started to hate the way she looked. Sometimes she couldn’t even bring herself to look at her reflection, not disgusted but certainly not proud of her appearance.

To hear someone as handsome as Bucky say she was beautiful made tears well up in her eyes, because even though it was only a comment, y/n finally felt beautiful for the first time in a long time. “What did you just say?”

“I said you look beautiful, y/n.” Bucky visibly gulped, standing up from her bed. He’d always thought y/n was beautiful. The first day he saw her he felt his chest fill with butterflies and fuzzy, lovey-dovey feelings. Then, when he realized she was the one his best friend had been fawning over, he felt envy and jealousy trump the pure, sweet feelings he’d had before.

All he wanted, though, was for her to be happy and just wanted what she wanted. If she wanted to date his buddy, he wanted it for her too. If she wanted to marry his buddy, fuck it, he’ll be the best best man a guy could ask for. If she wanted to act like she was happy in your miserable marriage, then Bucky was right there to comfort her when she felt unwanted. So, when Bucky heard it was finally over, he couldn’t wait to show up at her doorstep as her knight in shining armor. To show her the love she deserved and never let her doubt her worth again.

When she came out of the bathroom without her makeup, he was a goner. He knew she wasn’t allowed to go without makeup around her husband. And seeing her without it just made him love her more. Not only for her beauty but for being so comfortable with him that she didn’t care if she had it on. Her being comfortable around him is all he could ever ask for.

Y/n felt shy in front of Bucky. In all honesty, Bucky always made her feel a little flustered. When he’d come over to hangout with her ex, he’d always spend a decent amount of time with her too. It never passed the point of ‘you’re my best friend's wife, so you’re off limits’. He had never complimented her, not really, too afraid he’d be crossing a line. Afraid that she’d never want him to talk to her again or even want him in her house. He’d tell her she looked nice. But beautiful? This was new and she liked it.

Y/n felt all the feelings she’d had for Bucky over the years creep up inside her, boiling over. A second ago she was worn out, had plans to eat leftovers and go to bed; now she had a taste for something more.. appetizing.

“Take your pants off.” She nearly growled, pulling her hair back into a messy bun.

“W- what? Are you-“

“Bucky, take them off or I’ll do it for you.”

This made Bucky grin, “I prefer the latter.”

A whimper left her lips as they walked towards each other, meeting in the center of her bedroom.

Y/n was hungry, almost desperate, to feel Bucky on her tongue. She sank to her knees and ran her hands along his outer legs, slowly. Bucky took his bottom lip between his teeth while running his fingers through her soft hair, gripping at the bun and yanking it just enough to have a whimper escape her lips.

“I’ve dreamed of this day for so long, but never in my wildest dreams could I have pictured such a beautiful sight.” Bucky whispered just before y/n ran her hands over his fully erect and still clothed cock; earning a hiss from the man above her.

Y/n timidly undid his zipper. She was trying to calm her nerves. She hadn’t had a man in her mouth in so long. She always enjoyed giving head but her ex was never really into it. She was nervous. Nervous because she didn’t want him to feel how eager she was. She didn’t want him to think of her as a slut who would let just anyone fuck her mouth. Bucky was special to her and she felt like, in some way, she needed to prove that. Bucky calling her beautiful though did send a shiver down her spine and caused a wet patch to grow in her underwear.

“I want you in my mouth, Buck.” Y/n moaned, reaching into his boxer and pulling him from his confined space. They both gasped. Bucky gasped at the feeling of her small hand wrapped around the base of his cock and the cool air that hit him when she pulled out his member. Y/n gasped at his size. Bucky’s cock was beautiful. It was soft but hard, intimidating but welcoming. His cock was begging to be touched as the veins protruded, pulsing in her hand. The tip was a painful red, leaking; crying for her to taste his precum. “Oh, god.” She exhaled.

“Like what you see, Doll?” He smirked, rubbing his calloused thumb over her cheek.

“I love it, Buck. May I?” She asked, stroking him softly. He nodded, still smirking. He grabbed her chin and brought her face to the tip of his cock. Y/n hummed, licking the precum from the slit and watching him bite his lip in approval.

“Don’t close your eyes, Buck. I want you to watch me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

She giggled before kissing the tip of his cock and sliding it into her mouth.

“Fuck!” Bucky breathed. She worked his tip, loving the salty taste of his precum on her tongue. She sucked delicately which was nice but Bucky needed more. Purely by accident, if you ask him, he bucked his hips, causing his cock to hit the back of her throat. Y/n moaned her approval and that’s all Bucky needed. He grabbed the back of her head and slowly thrusted back and forth into her mouth.

It was killing him to go as slow as he was but he didn’t want y/n to feel any discomfort. He did as she asked, though, and never peeled his eyes from hers. He groaned when she removed him completely out of her mouth.

“Shit, did I do-”

“Fuck my mouth, Bucky, hard.” She said kissing and stroking his shaft.

“Oh god, are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I don’t mind a little pain.” She smirked, leaving an open mouthed kiss to his tip and slipping him back into her mouth. Bucky didn’t hesitate, positioning his hands around her face and thrusting harder and faster. She gagged when he hit the back of her throat, sending vibrations through his body. Tears ran down her cheeks as drool ran down her chin.

“You’re takin me so well, Doll.” Bucky groaned. Y/n hollowed out her cheeks and sucked a little harder at his words of encouragement. “Oh shit. Just like that, just like that. I’m gonna cum.” Y/n moaned, rubbing her thighs together. “You want my cum, huh? Want me to cum in this pretty mouth?” She nodded, never taking her eyes from his as his orgasm approached.

Bucky’s thrusts became sloppy, hitting the back of her throat every time before pushing all the way in and holding himself in the back of her throat. He groaned and cursed loudly as his cum ran down her throat. “Oh, god!” He whimpered before realizing her. Y/n gasped and coughed once he exited her mouth.

Bucky couldn’t wait any longer as he pulled her to her feet and smashed their mouths together, immediately slipping his tongue into her mouth.

The taste of her mouth was heavenly, making him even dizzier than before. She was sweet like candy with a hint of saltiness from his spend. He was overwhelmed with her. He felt like he could melt into her touch, live inside her bones so they never had to part. Just thinking of having to leave her side frightened him. He couldn’t be without her touch now. Didn’t want to spend one more second of his life without her.

Y/n moaned into the kiss as she undid the zipper of his leather jacket. “As hot as you look in leather, I need to see you.” Bucky shuffled the jacket off his arms and lifted his arms so she could remove his shirt. She hummed, “You have no idea how badly I've wanted to touch you. So many years,” She kissed down his chest, “Watching you at pool parties, seeing the water glisten on your skin. When you’d help fix stuff around the house, I couldn’t take my eyes off you. Especially when sweat trickled down your throat in the summer heat or when you drank water and the tiniest drop would spill from your lips just before you’d pour it over your head to cool off. It took everything in me not to touch you, Bucky.”

Just then, he yanked her up by her arm. He brought his forehead to hers, stifling his breath as he spoke, “I have no idea?” He asked, slipping her t-shirt off, revealing she had no bra on. Bucky groaned, “You think I didn’t notice the way you watched me? How hungry you looked when I’d slip my shirt off. It drove me crazy. I’ve wanted you since the second I met you.” He pinched her right nipple in his metal fingers, making her whimper, softly. “There isn’t one day that has passed since then where I hadn’t thought about you. Picturing you wrapped around my cock, screaming my name. Or wondering how you felt and taste when you cum on my tongue.” He kissed her left nipple now, making her shiver.

“Bucky.” She whined.

“I know, sweetheart. I’m gonna give you the life you deserve. You are my queen and I’m gonna treat you as such.” Before she could comprehend what was happening, Bucky had her in his arms and thrown to the bed. He removed her leggings and underwear in one quick movement, ripping them slightly, before spreading her legs with a loud groan and diving in. Licking a strip from her heat to her sensitive bud.

“Fuck, yes .” she hollered. Bucky hummed against her folds. He never would’ve guessed someone could taste so sweet, so delicious. He couldn’t help but stick his tongue as deep as he could into her heat. Y/n moved her hand into his hair and fucked his face, unable to control herself with how good his tongue felt inside her. “Yes, Bucky, yes.” She whimpered, more tears falling from her eyes as he sucked up all of her juices. She felt such a massive wave of pleasure like she had when he started suck on her clit, replacing his tongue with his fingers in her heat.

“You’re so sweet, y/n.” He groaned against her. “I could cum just by the taste of you.” She moaned at his praises and screamed when he sucked a little harder. “Cum on tongue, please.” Bucky begged and within seconds she’d reached her peak. Her legs trembled around his face as she desperately tried to keep them open. She could feel her juices gush around his fingers just before he removed them and sunk his tongue back in, licking up every ounce of her nectar.

Bucky was in heaven. Groaning his approval as he slippered up everything she could offer him. He was in a complete trance when he pulled his tongue from her heat. He needed more. He kitten licked at her sensitive bud, watching her shiver and squirm at his overstimulating actions.

“Please, Bucky I can’t - fuck .”

“Just one more.” He said between sucking and licking. “God, I could live on you alone. You’re drivin me crazy, Doll.” Y/n cried as the pleasure consumed her body, leading her to another mind numbing orgasm. Her hips bucked erratically into his mouth as she chased the high he’d just brought her to. Once he’d licked up all the juices from her again, he pulled away only to bring his cock to her throbbing entrance. Y/n felt dizzy, almost sick, from all the pleasure. She held her hand to his chest, panting,

“Bucky, please, kiss me.” She was exhausted. Bucky sucked all the juices and life out of her, but she wanted him. She wanted him now or more than ever. Bucky put on a lazy smile and leaned down to kiss her. Both of them moaned the second their lips met. The kiss was slow and passionate. Giving them both a headrush they’d never felt before. Tongues wandered and teeth clashed and bit. Lips puckered, pulled and sucked. Y/n had a strange feeling. A feeling like they’d done this before but in another life. Like they were always destined to be each other’s no matter the situation or time. She was his and he was hers. They would grow old together in this life and grow old in the next one too. Before she could stop the words she whispered, “I love you, James Buchanan Barnes.”

Bucky pulled back. She expected confusion or maybe mild discomfort, but Bucky just smiled and said, “I love you too, y/n. I love you so much.” They both laughed kissing each other even deeper. This is the moment they’d both been waiting for since day one and nothing could ever top this moment right here as they both held each other.

Y/n’s body powered through it’s tired state and the kiss had become needy and sloppy. “Fuck me, Bucky.” He chuckled softly as he pushed into her tight entrance. They both moaned into each other’s mouths as he pushed all the way in and stilled.

Bucky loved her so much. When she said those words he felt his heart drop into his stomach. He’d wanted to hear those words for so long and here they were, coming from the one person he loved most in the world. She was finally his and he was going to show her that. Show her that she belonged to him.

Once he felt her walls relax he pulled all the way out and slammed back in. Hips collided and breaths were shared as Bucky made her his. He groaned in her ear, the knot in her stomach tightened with every sound he made. “You’re mine.” He growled into the crook of her neck just before sucking on the pulse point on her neck.

“Yes, Bucky. I’m- I’m yours. Forever.” She smiled, so close to her climax when he rutted up into with new-found strength. He’d dreamed of this moment with her for so long and now here she was, underneath him, panting and about to cum for the third time tonight. The sounds he admitted from her were heavenly, pushing him closer to his release along with hers.

His metal fingers found her clit, rubbing needy circles over the sensitive bud. Her body jolted at the new sensation as screams of praise left her lips. Her words had become unintelligible as the knot in your stomach had finally snapped.

“Oh, god. Yes, baby. Cum all over my cock. You feel so good, so - good.” He whimpered. Her walls tightened around Bucky, adding to the pleasure, sending her into a trance of her own as her juices leaked all over the both of them.

She could feel the veins of his cock pulsating as his thrusts became sloppy once she came down from her high, signalling his high was about to hit him as well.

“Please, Bucky. Please cum inside me. I- I need to feel you cum inside me.” She panted, sucking at his earlobe.

“Oh, fuck!” He groaned loudly before filling her up with his spend. He rutted into her slowly, punching his thrusts with every sinful groan. Y/n watched Bucky as he lost control, it was beautiful. Someone so powerful and strong, crumbling before her, because of her. She rolled her hips up towards him, matching his thrusts. He whimpered at the action, making the knot grow in her stomach again. “You’re so perfect. So. Fucking. Perfect.” He punctuated every word with his hips smashing into hers. He continued his assault on her walls until it became too much.

His breathing was erratic above her, his face scrunched up as he came down from his highest of highs. Y/n smiled, running her hands over his chest and torso, so beautiful. Bucky lowered himself down to her, placing a kiss to her temple. Before he could pull out she stopped him.

“Don’t.” Her legs wrapped around his waist, securing him to her stretched hole. A gasp left both of their lips when she pushed him back in.

“What?” He asked, huffing out a breathy laugh.

“I just want to feel you inside me. I want to bask in this moment forever, with you.” She stared into his glossy blue eyes, getting washed away in his presents. She watched as his cheeks reddened, bowing his head and laughing. Bucky's bashfulness was breathtaking. Everything Bucky does makes her breath hitch in her throat.

“God, I love you, Y/n.” He breathed, kissing her lips, open mouthed and passionate.

I love you so much, Bucky. Never leave me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Doll”

//

Masterlist

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