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#i was a very emotionally mature teen and consistently had people not take my feelings seriously bc of my age
raayllum · 2 years
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also bc of the new content / season incoming rayllum and this blog have been getting more attention so just a few reminders / boundaries:
1) I’m not here to offer comfort or approval. You have or like a HC, just go for it. You’re worried or stressed about S4? That’s your thing, I’m happy and excited, and I come here to make fun stuff and have fun, not to offer reassurance (which, take a quick peek through my tags, you can already find spades of). 
2) If you have a question regarding a character’s background or choices, there’s a good chance that information is already included on their wikipedia or on my meta page (directory and all). Please check those places first before sending an ask in. 
3) My theories, opinions, and interpretations are just that: mine, and can matter as much or as little as you want them to. Recently there have been some posts detracting some ideas that I blog about often, or even sparingly originated, in ways that haven’t been particularly kind. By no means do people have to agree with me (like, at all), and while I make the stuff I do because it’s fun, I also put real effort and time into those things, often times 3-4 hours minimum if not more, and having that effort dismissed or derided is a bit hurtful if not also insulting, to say the least. Again, this is absolutely the minority of fans, but I think it’s very easy for people to forget there’s, well, a real whole other person behind a screen. I’m not in this to be right or wrong, I’m here to have fun and explore concepts, possible parallels, etc. Even (and when) I’ve disagreed with a theory or interpretation, I’ve typically done my best to be kind about if it it wasn’t related to trolling. I like to think the same courtesy will be extended to me. 
idk if I’m just tired of seeing the same TTM discourse hashed out all over again (seeing people extend little to no sympathy to either Callum and/or Rayla was frustrating then and is frustrating now) or just feeling jaded by people writing off their relationship like it isn’t a clear cornerstone of the show, like they aren’t each other’s best friends, but I think both stem from being perpetually bored with people who refuse to engage with the media they consume in full, instead siphoning off favourite characters with bad takes and no compassion for anyone else in the cast, since it’s so diametrically opposed with how I - and I would say at least 70-90% of Rayllum fans - actually engage with TDP and its themes, characters, plot lines. Also: the dismissal reeks of jealousy and entitlement and just a little bit of aphobia, tbh 
Basically:
Be kind to each other and please be kind to me. Learn to self regulate your own emotions. Tag properly. I may be taking a tiny step back from engaging with fandom in favour of focusing on writing the oneshots and projects I want to get out before S4 drops, and may see about regulating my ask box a bit more, but I’ll have to wait and see.
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stevie-petey · 8 months
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hiiiiiii m! read s2 ep2 and i LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!!! <3 i actually am so relieved that steve reader friend divorce era is over......idk why but friendship breakups make me sadder than actual romantic breakups, partly because friendships themselves are so selfless and sort of by design the least selfish, or self interested you can be, with the benefit just being "we get to hang out!". i'm fascinated that steve forgave her so quickly as well, maybe because he's in a vulnerable spot right now (???), but i really did enjoy that reader was willing to make amends instead of sort of just digging an emotional hole for herself and exaccerbating the problem. i'm excited to see if she'll be as proactive down the line when things get more serious between them.
the way you handle nancy is interesting. i'm glad you don't shy away from reader being jealous of nancy and the attention of johnathan and steve and being pretty and rich, which omg, can drive full grown adults crazy, so why wouldn't a teen girl feel it, but also see nancy as like a full person? i also really appreciate your/reader's willingness to see both sides of the conflict, at least so far. a lot of people, from what i've seen, seem to view that night as a very traumatic night for steve where he got his heart broken, and that's true! it is! but it's also a night where nancy got blackout drunk from survivor's guilt that everyone around her told her to ignore in favour of just forgetting everything she experienced. that would make anyone upset! she probably does feel like her relationship is bs if it's main priority is not allowing her best friend's parents to find peace and move on! anyways, what i'm saying is that it's nice to have a realistic yet emotionally mature main character, and one who is so because they themselves are emotional and very in tune and self aware of them and others, instead of for just like, the plot vaguely, or because of modern sensibilities, no it's just an established and consistent part of her character, which is hard to do and it's so cool that you do it so well near constantly!
but i really was cheesing a lot like it just felt like a classic early 2000s CW show which is the high i'm constantly chasing. one tree hill season 1 episode i think 13 college party was very much the vibe i was getting. i should have been wearing cheetah print and leather and listening to the strokes as my friends convinced me that local basketball player was really the only guy who ~gets~ me. "i'll be" by edwin mccain plays in the background as we make eyecontact from across the room. you set the vibe, is what i'm trying to say.
billy was weirdo and creep and i'm happy he was acknowledged as such!!! not kidding when he came up to the reader i was also uncomfortable and it just had that very deeply horrible frat guy energy that makes every person subjected to it feel very objectified, and i think it's even more interesting that this is, from what i remember, one of the first time someone's shown outright interest in her, so i can imagine that that makes it even worse. i also sort of like the set up of johnathan defending her and steve holding him back, feels very much a great physical example of their position so far, with both johnathan playing a larger role in her life, as well as maybe signalling that johnathan's role as her protector, friend, confidant, all that is now passing onto steve's "hands", as steve's quite literally holding him. idk if that's too much i just had fun! and steve's final thoughts. my god. what an oblivious young man. the immediate jealousy and awe he feels.....his willingness to forgive....her promise to him as he confesses........both very moving and also amazed he hasn't realised his own feelings yet and excited that it will take him longer to do so. them making the promise together especially was so good, and such a good parallel to the one she and johnathan made in s1, and i'm excited to see if steve and r are able to uphold it better than johnathan was and how it'll serve to highlight the differences in their relationship.
very lengthy so my apologies, have a nice day and looking forward to ur next chapter!
hi angel !!
u touched on something SO BIG and i loooove discussing it: steve forgave reader so easily. and YES it was a bit ??? but later itll make sense. overall weve seen that steve just so genuinely trusts readers intentions with him, he never doubts her honesty and hes been pulled towards her since day 1, so of course he immediately was like “oh yeah we can be bffs again <3”. HOWEVER ,,,, this will play a huuuge role later (next chapter i believe). we’ll get more insight and steves vulnerability that night also def helped
and nancy !!! yes !!! i had to rewatch her scene with steve in the library a million times and i just felt horrible for them both. they want to help each other, and as ive said before about jonathan and reader, steve and nancy take care of people in opposite ways and it makes them clash. nancy wants to be proactive, steve wants to be more on the down low and tend to those he has already. hes accepted and moved on, nancy has moved on but hasnt accepted.
and as for the jonathan n steve scene i originally had jonathan holding steve back, but honestly it didnt feel right. jonathan, as much as he sucks sometimes, will ALWAYS be the first to defend y/n. every time he will. steve will too, but jonathan has that spot rn and hed rather die than let her get hurt </3
as for billy ,,,, so incredibly excited to flesh out his dynamic with reader. it wont be romantic in the slightest, but reader will have some insight into billys homelife due to max, and u bet she’ll use it against billy.
and im SO HAPPY the party scene felt real <333 thank u for the lovely asks i adore dissecting my chapters with yall its my <3333
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fueledbysano · 1 year
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HEY YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU 🥹
BESIDES ME JUST FINISHING YOHR PROLOGUE IN YOUR IF/THEN SERIES
i wanted to ask...... since you're a tokyo revenger enthusiast, i wanted to know deeply about your analysis on draken, mikey, toman, just the whole series in general
since tr has irl japan content, i'm quite hesitant to tackle it when it comes to writing, so here's me asking mikey's wife 🤭
i also.... really need a deep char analysis on draken when it comes to him, i was hoping that you knew more about him as well
like from the surfaces, to the depths of his character
just like you, i am so utterly smitten by him, there's just this wave of- maturity? around him that i cannot describe nnghgg
but anyways, i'm just stopping by again 🥹🩷 (and will continue to do so in the future)
your if/then prologue impacted me as always 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 fucking hell like i forgot toman literally goes ghost mode 😭 i love and adore your writing so damn much
with tears of admiration,
- hiraeth
Let me just start this off by saying that this is my personal view on the series and the characters, based on their canon personalities and everything that happened throughout the series. There will be some spoilers for arcs that haven't aired in the anime yet but I will be putting a warning for a heads up!
We all know that the series circles around the themes of friendship, loyalty, growth, and the importance of second chances.
For those who don’t know, Ken Wakui himself was a gang member in the 2000s called “Black Emperor” which actually heavily influenced the series. He said in an interview that he has lots of regrets in his past and often wished to go back in time, so instead, he made a story out of it! (You can look this up yourself, I found out about this in 2020 through a Japanese forum whom I had my sister translate for me)
… Which is why I think the series feels very authentic and nostalgic! The mangaka himself experienced the gang life and made a whole story and characters around it. (Could it be that Takemichi was a self-insert and your other favorite characters are driven out of real people too?)
Draken
The #1 on the list as best boyfriend! I personally love the DrakEmma ship. They’ve always showed how they cared and love each other, but both are so stubborn :’)
*spoilers*
That’s why the Tenjiku arc and the beginning of the three deities arc really hurt like a bitch. I'm such a sucker for bittersweet tropes. But I’m very happy how Wakui gave them the ending they deserved. I don’t care that people say he had a Disney ahh ending but I truly think that it’s the right path to take here. These people deserve to be peaceful once and for all and they have it!
*end*
But here’s my relationship headcanons for him!
We see that this guy is practically Mikey’s father. He depended on Draken as a teen and Mikey even got him to be his motorcycle mechanic. This just shows how reliable he is. However, I feel like he may struggle with letting others in emotionally. He may be someone who values his independence and autonomy, and may be hesitant to open up and trust others. It takes time to fully know his heart. And once you do, he is deeply loyal and committed. He may value stability and consistency in his relationships and may dislike drama or unnecessary conflict.
Draken is an ESTP personality type and is known for his outgoing and spontaneous nature. He may be the type of person who enjoys adventures and new experiences, and may be spontaneous and impulsive. He may be someone who values excitement and variety in his relationships, and may struggle with staying still or with routine. On the other hand, he may also appreciate a partner who can help him slow down and appreciate the quieter moments.
Draken's love for muscle training and physical fitness may make him attracted to someone who also prioritizes physical health, well-being, and how they present themselves. He appreciates a partner who can be workout buddy or partner in his fitness journey. If he gets you to the gym with him, he is more than willing to be your very own personal trainer!
Draken's love language is acts of service and gift giving! He may show his affection by performing tasks or favors, and he may enjoy taking care of his loved ones in practical ways, like he does with Emma and Mikey. Like if you're a person who has dyed hair, he dyes your hair on your blind spots for you.
One thing I can also envision is him lending his iconic black and white patterned cardigans to you. the iconic style is recognizable at first glance and would send any delinquent out of your was from a mile.
And finally, Draken's love for motorcycles and his passion for riding them extends into the relationship too. He always has a helmet ready for you, in your favorite color. He loves having his partner holding him close throughout a joyride. Even when tinkling with motorcycle parts, he would find himself asking his partner to reach for certain parts and tools. They grow familiar with what certain parts are called and surprise Draken when they start to actually help him with the hands-on work. Kenchin appreciates someone who is adventurous and up for a challenge, as well as someone who can match his energy and intensity.
Mikey
Okay I put him last on purpose, and I’ll explain the best I can :’) Okay… He is a deeply complex character, who has a strong sense of honor and loyalty to his friends, but who also struggles with his own sense of self.
In this house, we love every Mikey version. Not only there is more to write about but also there’s just also a lot of him to love… thank you Ken Wakui <3
Now, being in a relationship with someone who has trauma is… not for the weak. Of course, everybody deserves to be loved. But never get into the relationship with the intent of “fixing”. It would be unhealthy to rely one’s happiness on another person. When you're in a relationship with someone who has trauma, it's natural to want to support and comfort them. However, it's important to be mindful of creating a healthy balance and avoid becoming your partner's sole source of happiness or support.
Mikey is often shown to be struggling with complex emotions. He just needs someone who can provide a safe and supportive space for him to open up and share his feelings in his comfort. We all know that he enjoys being taken care of and pampered by those around him. I believe that to be in a relationship with Mikey, you have to get on Draken’s level of dedication and trust. He loves the feeling of being taken care of and protected. Someone who is patient and understanding of his emotions may be a perfect match for Mikey.
In the relationship, this extends to having bath times with Mikey, making him bento boxes during lunch, doing his hair, or even the simple yet sweet snuggles. Just overall lots of acts of service and quality time. He is very lazy but for yo, he will never run out of ideas for dates and adventures.
Mikey is known to have a sweet tooth, he will always ask you to get him treats, but he prefers everything that you hand-made. And hey, look at that— he’d share his sweets with you too! Indulging his sweet tooth and his love for food in general truly is the way to this man’s heart.
This is something I came up with at the very last minute but since he is canonically a great singer, I feel like he loves singing you to sleep and learning your favorite songs. :')
Lastly, Mikey's childish side makes him a fun and loving person to be around. Matching his sense of humor and being able to bring out his playful side is a must. He enjoys spending time for spontaneous adventures and bringing you along to trips and hang outs with Toman captains.
But as much as he loves being babied, Mikey values someone who can give him the freedom to express his emotions. Someone who allows him to be himself and express his emotions without judgment. He appreciates someone who can understand his need for downtime and space, and who can encourage him to take self time breaks when he needs it.
That’s pretty much what I have to say for these two and Tokyo Revengers in overview. I’m pretty pleased with how everything played out in the story. I love the way that… a lot about these characters and their stories are open for us fans to interpret and imagine around. What do you mean “where’s the Haitani brothers’ backstory?” make your own! What was Hanma going to tell about his past? Come up with yours!
But what I really loved the most about TR… every depth of every single type of relationship was shown. friendships, romance, family, enemies, brotherhood, etc… There are many ways to experience relationships… there’s no one way.
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I know this is long overdue but take my insights 🤲 this gave me a sense of inspiration and nostalgia from when I first discovered and fell in love with the series 🤍 I hope I answered what you were looking for 🤍
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wolvesandpetals · 3 years
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Loki x Sylvie Post-Finale Fanfiction (Angst, Rated Teen) Part 2 of 2
Part 1 is here:
She never knew it would hurt this much when the person she loves is right in front of her, but she can't reach out and touch him; when she is still her, he is still him, but everything else has changed, like an invisible lever in an old theatre changing the scenery in the background, bringing them both to the part of the play where they are hopelessly lost.
[[MORE]]
All it took was one single moment, one single decision, and everything feels irrevocably broken now. It makes her contemplate on the true nature of relationships, how fragile they are, and how easy it is to shatter them- and her.
The smoke is slowly clearing, and all that seems to be left is a man who is doing his best to keep his distance from her, physically and emotionally.
She can tell from the way he stands with his arms crossed, or his fists clenced when his hands are by his side, that he really doesn't want to hold her hand. How can something so simple as the touch of his fingers be so vital to her existence that it feels like something has been ripped out from inside her?
She wants to reach out and touch him, but she is scared that if he pulls away outright, any hope of reconciliation that she still has left will shatter into pieces.
And she really needs this hope. It's the only thing she still has left. It's the only thing that keeps her going.
---
He looks like a man with a mission.
They spent quite a long time together, running from the TVA, running towards the citadel at the end of time, hoping to achieve their goal of bringing down the one behind the curtains.
But that was her mission, and he was there for her. She was the one behind the wheels, he was the one keeping the sails afloat.
Now it's different. Now he has a defined goal, a glorious purpose.
She's seeing him in a whole new light now, and not just because he has switched to Asgardian leather and metal armors.
As far as she is concerned, she is better off doing it all alone. One woman army, nobody to get in her way, nobody to screw up her plans. Nobody to blame her if it all goes to shit.
Or so it was, until two months ago, when Mobius decided to enlist her help in fixing the multiversal madness.
She has never really worked with people before, and it's weird, to say the least. She never considered herself a team player, but she is finding herself hating the idea less and less lately.
And she swears it has nothing to do with him. Not the fact that they are working together, and seeing his face first thing in the morning brings her a sense of calm that she quite can't explain. Or the fact that their rooms are next to each other and it makes her feel secure enough to finally get some rest at nights. Or that this whole arrangement has kept them on talking terms, when they had gone their own separate ways otherwise.
Nothing to do with that at all.
---
Humans are stupid, and the biggest evidence of this is how they decided that two extremely powerful Gods skilled at magic, enchantment, and defeating an evil extra dimensional cloud that swallows everything it touches, should be delegated to the role of research. "You're clever. You're good at reading people. You can put yourselves in the shoes of the bad guys, no offense", they said, but really, what they meant was, "We can't trust you out in the field much." She knows it, he knows it. She just doesn't know why he's complying.
That's how they find themselves researching every single day.
She likes to think he's not the only reason why she's studying in the library instead of in the comfort of her room, but that'd be a lie.
At first, he chooses to sit at a separate table. But she keeps going over to his to "get his opinion" on something in the file she's reading, and finally, he gives in. Their current arrangement consists of him sitting in the chair in front of her, to the left, prim and proper, while she hoists her feet up on the table.
He falls asleep on the desk one night, face smacked against a file, the tiniest bit of drool forming at the corner of his mouth. It would be a hilarious sight, if her heart wasn't feeling what she can only describe as longing.
They should probably talk about it, like mature adults, but neither of them know how to do that.
All she can do right now is gather the courage to run her fingers through his hair. The touch is hesitant at first, as if one wrong move would make him wake up and push her back to square one. Slowly, she relaxes, letting her fingers dance on his scalp.
He stirs in his sleep. "Please Sif. I'm sorry. Don't cut off my glorious locks, please."
Now this is a story she must hear when things are better.
If things are better.
---
Doctor Strange joins them very briefly, very rarely, but the tension between him and Loki is hard to miss. It's worse than the current situation with her, and that's saying something.
"You don't really like Stephen, do you?"
Something inside him seems to shift, but he masks it behind a non-chalant look immediately and just arches an eyebrow at her. "He's Stephen now, is he?"
"Well, that is his name." She shrugs. "What do you call him?"
"Strange", he spits the word out with an amount of irritation that indicates there definitely is a story there. "That is his name", he mimics.
She can't help the smirk that spreads across her lips. "What did he do to you?"
"Nothing", he lies, ignoring the horrifying flashbacks of thirty minutes of endless falling. Not a single soul must ever know a mere human got the best of him. "What can he do to me? I'm a God among those mortals. He just irks me because he is so pompous, and arrogant, and he ceaselessly uses magic to toy with others."
She pretends to think deeply. "Now where have I seen that before?"
He scoffs. "You mock me, but I am nothing like him. For one, I am not rude."
"He seems fine to me", she declares decisively.
It's the first time in months that he gives her a cheeky grin. "That's because you're rude too."
---
They are still just containing the threats to their world, instead of finding a way to fortify the barriers between worlds and stop the threats from coming.
"Shouldn't we have a plan to seal off the other worlds from ours?" She asks him one day.
"They are working on it." He tells her, and then with a look of worry, adds, "I hope."
There are debates on what to do at the Avengers tower and at the TVA. Nobody seems to agree on what the best course of action is, but everyone seems to be following the general instructions of Doctor Strange.
During one such meeting, a Minuteman makes the mistake of voicing out loud how she wondered if things would be better if they were running according to their old boss's plans.
Sylvie feels the guilt wash over her once more.
"No", Loki tells them all firmly. The determination in his voice takes her completely by surprise. "Evil is evil. Lesser, greater, middling, makes no difference. The degree is arbitrary. The definition’s blurred." She catches him steal a glance at her direction. "We couldn't have left a dictator in charge just because it's convenient. Listen, I'm the bad guy. I've done horrible, unspeakable things. I thought humans needed to be ruled. I wanted to rule. But even I know that it's not right to take away a person's life completely. These are innocent people. You are innocent people. You have families back home, parents, children", a pause and a softening of his features, "-love. A whole past, a whole future. That man had no right to take it away from you."
His powers of persuasion are foreign to her, and it's mesmerizing to watch. Her enchantments cannot hold a candle to how he is able to just talk people into doing what he wants, thinking what he thinks, seeing what he sees.
"He who remains had a plan. One, singular plan, from one, singular man." There is absolute conviction in his voice. "It's not the only way. We'll find another way. A better way."
She has never known what it is like to have someone see you for who you are- broken and flawed, and defend you- even your well-intentioned actions that yielded different results than what you expected and hurt them in the process. She suspects it has been the same for him, a lifetime of not having anyone have his back.
The warm feeling inside her is brand new. What is the name of this? Comfort? Relief?
Happiness?
---
This will be their first time out in the field in a long time, and she feels a little sick to the stomach.
He notices. "Are you alright?"
The concern in his voice tugs at her heartstrings. She nods. She has faced way worse, she shouldn't be so nervous about this, but she is. "I've never done this before."
"We can always just kill him and blame it on the Chitauris", he suggests with a serious face.
"I heard that", Peter yells from the other room, where he is doing whatever it is that teenagers do to prepare for battle.
She shakes her head in disbelief. "I can't believe we're babysitting."
"I've done this before", he assures her, and it surprises her to picture him being entrusted with such a serious task. "The trick is to conjure up illusions that keep them distracted enough to not cry."
She laughs. "You're thinking of infants. This one is a little older."
"I'm over a thousand years old, Sylvie. They're all infants to me."
Peter joins them, mask covering his face so that he doesn't reveal his identity. "So what do I call you? Loki and Loki? That's confusing. How about Loki and Lady Loki? Or is that offensive? I'm not suggesting women are inferior, because they're absolutely not..."
"Does he come with an off switch?" She whispers in horror as Peter rambles on.
Loki grins. With one wave of his hand and a flash of green, Peter's own webbing shoots out and seals his mouth shut.
---
Things are fine but not fine at the same time. He's right there beside her, but not there at all. They have their banters, they have their stolen glances, but they haven't had a meaningful conversation since that first day when she got back. She's been putting it off for a long time, but she knows they really do need to have the talk.
She corners him in his room one evening while he's tinkering with a temporal collar. She takes a seat in the chair next to his bed and rests her hand on the table, leaning her head against her palm, before switching position and crossing her arms and legs. Everything about her posture screams uneasiness. If he notices- he probably does- he doesn't say anything.
"You defended me that day."
He briefly looks up from the task at hand and gives her a soft smile. "Of course."
She blinks. "I don't understand." Her hands involuntary rise up to rub her temples. "If you can justify my actions to them, then how can you still be mad at me?"
"I'm not mad at you", he says without missing a beat.
"Rubbish", her words come out angrier than she intended. This frustration is the result of the months of status quo they have had. She has to know now, one way or the other. "You're distant. You're guarded", she accuses. Then her voice breaks, as she feels a part of her break all over again with her next words. "You don't hold my hand. Why? Tell me."
He abandons the collar and focuses his full attention on her. Staring straight into her eyes, he answers her. "You know why."
"I wouldn't be asking if I did. Look, if it's because I chose the mission over you-"
"-Of course it's not that." He says decisively. Then a sad smile clouds his face. It's the same look he had when she accused him of conning her to gain the throne. "Do you think I'm the type of man who would want a woman to abandon her life-long ambitions just because she has met someone?"
She knows he isn't. But it still doesn't answer why he is so cross with her. "What is it then?"
He pauses for a moment, trying to decide whether he wants to bare his soul out to her once more or not. There are two ways he can go from here- choose to not let her in again and save himself from the hurt, or trust her again and open himself up to potential pain.
Who is he kidding? Pushing her away- keeping her away- doesn't hurt any less.
There were a thousand things that had to go wrong to bring two Lokis from two universes together. A connection like that, it doesn't just happen.
And it doesn't just go away. The pain is constant, it's a part of him, pounding like a second heart every second he has to stop himself from reaching out for her hand.
This has to come to an end.
He takes in a deep breath, bracing himself. "You didn't have to send me away, Sylvie. I wanted to stop you from making the same mistakes I did. But in the end, I didn't care what you chose. I just wanted us to do it together."
She never even imagined this could be the reason for his hurt. All these months spent thinking he hates her for her choices, and now it turns out he is hurt simply because she chose to do it alone? "I'm sorry." She says sincerely. "I just wanted you to be safe."
"And I just wanted to be there with you till the end." He confesses. His eyes shimmer with the emotions he has kept bottled in for so long. "You go, I go."
She doesn't know what to say to that. She has never been good at articulating her feelings. Tears stream down her cheeks at the realisation that even after everything, he is still there for her.
She didn't cry even back at Lamentis when they thought they were going to die. She doesn't let anyone see her cry when she is sad or scared. That's all she has known her whole life. She's used to it by now.
This is new. These are tears of relief. Comfort.
Happiness.
Tentatively, she crosses over to the bed and sits by his side.
It's quiet for a few minutes. But unlike the months of tension so thick she could cut it into splices with her daggers, this is comfortable silence. The kind they had before it all went wrong.
"Did you even miss me?" He whispers.
"What kind of silly question is that? Of course I did." Her shaking hands grab his, and oh how she missed this.
He intertwines their fingers. His eyes draw closed. Bliss. That's the only word for this feeling.
He opens his eyes again and studies her. She's staring back at him, teary-eyed, but with a hopeful smile. "Really? Because you have a really unique way of showing it. You didn't even come looking for me."
"I didn't know how to face you", she tells him honestly. No tricks, no enchantment, no treachery. Not with him. "I didn't know if you even wanted to see me." Her voice grows quieter, dropping to a timbre that perfectly encapsulates her deepest fear. "I thought you hated me."
"Hate you?" He is shocked that she thinks that is even possible, specially after seeing him these last few months. "Sylvie, I'm working with the Avengers. The Avengers. Do you know how much I hate them? They are my nemesis. They're self-righteous, condescending, and so completely dull. Every second with them makes me want to rip their hearts out. Why do you think I'm here with them?"
She thinks she knows. But she needs to hear it anyway.
"It's because of you." He lays it all out on the table. All cards on deck, win or lose. "You've been running away. I have been the one who has been here, trying to hold down the fort, working to fix everything. Because that is what one does when one loves-"
Shit. The word slips out before he realises it.
Their eyes go wide in unison.
"Sylvie, I-"
"-Don't you dare take it back now." She warns him. "I-" She doesn't know how to say it either. They make such a great pair, both equally daft at saying how they feel, like they are teenagers, not Gods who have lived for centuries. "I've been running because I didn't think I could bear the burden of knowing I found you and then I lost you. I don't want to lose you. Not now, not ever."
He kisses the back of her hand, before letting it go. He cups her face, gently caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. "I don't want to lose you either."
She leans in closer, until their foreheads touch. She can feel his breath on her face, warm and soft. That is exactly how she feels inside. "You won't", she promises. "You go, I go."
---
(Quote on Lesser Evil from The Witcher. Thanks for reading!!)
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manie-sans-delire-x · 3 years
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My thoughts/analysis of We Need to talk about Kevin
From abnormal psych class paper:
The character I chose to analyze and diagnose is Kevin Khatchadourian from the 2011 film, We Need to Talk about Kevin. Brilliantly depicted by star Ezra Miller and various other child actors, Kevin is an angry, emotionally detached boy who struggles in his complex relationship with his mother. We see the unhealthy relationship develop between the two through-out the film as Kevin grows from a baby to a young man, ending in tragedy as Kevin achieves his ultimate revenge against his mother by massacring the rest of their family as well as several classmates in a school shooting.  
After carefully noting Kevin’s behavior and the way he and his mother Eva interact when he is a young child, I have decided to diagnose Kevin with reactive attachment disorder (RAD). The diagnostic criteria from the current Diagnostic and Statistical manual (DSM-5) for RAD reads as follows: 
A. A consistent pattern of inhibited, emotionally withdrawn behavior toward adult caregivers, manifested by both of the following: 
1. The child rarely or minimally seeks comfort when distressed. 
2. The child rarely or minimally responds to comfort when distressed. 
B. A persistent social or emotional disturbance characterized by at least two of the following: 
Minimal social and emotional responsiveness to others 
Limited positive affect 
Episodes of unexplained irritability, sadness, or fearfulness that are evident even during nonthreatening interactions with adult caregivers. 
C. The child has experienced a pattern of extremes of insufficient care as evidenced by at least one of the following: 
Social neglect or deprivation in the form of persistent lack of having basic emotional needs for comfort, stimulation, and affection met by caring adults 
Repeated changes of primary caregivers that limit opportunities to form stable attachments (e.g., frequent changes in foster care) 
Rearing in unusual settings that severely limit opportunities to form selective attachments (e.g., institutions with high child to caregiver ratios) 
D. The care in Criterion C is presumed to be responsible for the disturbed behavior in Criterion A (e.g., the disturbances in Criterion A began following the lack of adequate care in Criterion C). 
E. The criteria are not met for autism spectrum disorder. 
F. The disturbance is evident before age 5 years. 
G. The child has a developmental age of at least nine months. 
Specify if Persistent: The disorder has been present for more than 12 months. 
Specify current severity: Reactive Attachment Disorder is specified as severe when a child exhibits all symptoms of the disorder, with each symptom manifesting at relatively high levels. 
Kevin displays behavior that meets both criteria A and B. As a baby he cried constantly, reportedly even when held, showing an inability or unwillingness to be soothed. As a toddler he shows defiance, disinterest in social interaction, and a refusal to engage in play, such as when his mother is attempting to play with a ball with him and he refuses to roll the ball back or respond in any way, instead staring at her with a sullen expression. Kevin also refuses his mother’s pleas to say the word “Mommy”. As a slightly older child, Kevin continues to act defiantly and shows anger, ripping up the paper when his mother attempts to school him, immediately soiling his newly changed diapers on purpose, throwing food against the wall and onto tables, breaking his crayons, making nonsensical noises to irritate his mother, and destroying his mother’s artfully decorated room. When he is taken to the doctor to be examined, he shows no expression, does not speak, and stiffens his body. When his baby sister is born, he purposefully sprinkles water onto the newborn, causing her to cry. It should be noted however that in one instance Kevin seems to relax his cold exterior and accept comfort from his mother, shown by the scene in which he falls ill and cuddles with his mother while she reads him a story. He even apologizes for her having to clean up his throw-up. Unfortunately, as soon as he is feeling well again he is back to being rude and rejecting any attempt of hers to take care of him, refusing her help to change his clothes.  
As for criteria C, although Kevin has not experienced extreme abuse or neglect, I believe Kevin suffered from a traumatic birth as it was mentioned that his mother was resisting. His mother Eva did not desire a child, especially not one as difficult as Kevin, so she emotionally neglects him and is cold to him. Eva makes it very clear to him that he is unwanted, telling him straight to his face that she was happy before she gave birth to him and not correcting him when Kevin mentions that Eva does not like him. In one instance, she is accidentally too rough with him and breaks his arm, which Kevin later refers to as being the most honest thing she ever did. Kevin also meets the criteria of D through G, and his symptoms are persistent. I would say Kevin has moderate to severe symptoms as he does exhibit all listed symptoms quite regularly.  
I believe Kevin’s psychological problems may also have developed into conduct disorder (CD) as an adolescent and then antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) or psychopathy in adulthood, especially after taking into consideration the mutilation of his sister’s eye and the killing of his sister’s guinea pig, his father, his sister, and several classmates. He shows no guilt or empathy, appears to have shallow emotions besides anger, and shows no evidence of having affection or emotional bonds to anyone. He is also very manipulative; putting on a fake act of normalcy for his father, turning his parents against each other, and navigating the legal system to get his best outcome. However, I know that children with RAD can also be violent and if not treated, behave in a way very similar to conduct disorder in adolescence and ASPD or psychopathy in adulthood. The main reason I chose to focus on RAD over CD or ASPD is because I believe the root of Kevin’s problem is immense pain at being rejected and unloved as a child and that he harbors a deep desire to have that connection but is unable to accept affection.  He is so focused on and consumed by his anger towards his mother, while someone with true psychopathy may be more detached and indifferent. I also leaned more towards RAD given that he showed symptoms from such a young age and did not seem to have any problems outside of his issues with his mother, such as acting out in school or engaging in petty, impulsive crime. I do wish that the film showed more of his interaction with his peers. Lastly, I felt RAD was a more accurate choice because of the subtle signs of it that are associated more with RAD than CD, such as stiffening his body when others try to hug him, making nonsensical sounds, and not making eye contact as an infant, although that may not have been intentionally put in the film. Either way, his parents certainly needed to talk to professionals about Kevin when he was a child. Had they done so, perhaps they could have prevented the tragedy of both his life and the pain he inflicted on others.  
Response to tumblr ask:
I agree! I would have loved to see how he interacts at school, what he does when he’s alone and has spare time, and more of his childhood.
I think he had multiple reasons:
1- To make his mother suffer since he obviously has a lot of anger and resentment towards her
2- Because he doesn’t feel much positive emotion and gave up on ever feeling pleasure or enjoyment from regular life. Normal life is incredibly boring for him. He wanted to DO something- real, meaningful, make something happen. He wanted to Live. I very much relate.
3- He enjoys the attention he gets from it.
We talked about this in my forensic psych club- whether we should give interviews and all this attention to violent criminals. Our society is fascinated by them to the point where we make movies and books. People sell and collect memorabilia. They have fan-girls writing love letters and showing up to their court sessions, even fighting each other over them. It’s pretty crazy. But on the other hand, it’s important that we study them. Or is it? There’s a debate about everything.
4- His philosophy and world view. 
He is very nihilistic, he doesn’t believe life “means” anything and right/wrong doesn’t exist/is just a matter of opinion or viewpoint. His actions don’t really matter either, nothing does. I used to think exactly like he did when I was a teen, and I still do in a way.
As for your last question, it’s easy to forget one way of thinking when you’re in another. It’s hard to remember how one state was when you’re in a different one. Also, as shitty as outside life can be, life in prison is even shittier. Makes you appreciate the ability of choice and being able to do things, even just to walk around outside or buy an icecream cone. He was also only 15 at the time of the crime, and in the last scene he’s 18. A lot of chemical changes and neural development happens in that time. He matured- his way of thinking about himself, the world, and the others around him changed.
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Warning about hannawolfcross / spareusallanotheryear / caseclosededogawa
During 2012, when I was 17, Erin/Hanna was involved in a long distance romantic and sexual relationship with me. We met on deviantart, and most of our interactions were on there, but were lost with my account. We roleplayed sex/romance between two characters I loved at the time, and she made several comments about wanting to marry me, date me, and/or be involved with me in some way or another. When we became involved, she was, based on my math, 26/27. Proof of her age from an ask sent to her in 2016 that I found
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Though most of the conversations between us are gone from my facebook and deviantart, there are a few hints on her main rp blog. Below are conversations we had publicly in 2012, when I was 17, turning 18 the summer of that year.
(a discussion about my lack of interest in sex, and her admitting she was sexually interested in me)
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(something she tagged me in, my deadname is blocked out. After enough sexual hints and passes from her, I asked her about sexting because I thought it was the obvious and necessary step we should make, and it seemed to be something she really wanted. We did this twice.)
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A discussion regarding me moving in when I turn 18, something we talked about quite a bit, because I was in an abusive home situation and desperate for an escape. 
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She knew I was only 17, and that I was still in high school during the entirety of our relationship. She was a married woman at that time, and although her husband was aware of our relationship, it still doesn’t take away from the fact there was a huge difference between life and relationship experience between us. Here is her admitting her plans in an ask reply after our eventual falling out.
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(unrelated to our relationship, but little snippets of roleplaying where her character was temporarily a child, and still expressing sexual interest for the character he was in a relationship with)
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(and another instance where he was a 16 year old, and sexual roleplay still went down with another person, with the theme of his virginity being taken by an “older” and gentle man)
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(While not as serious as what went down with us, little things like this popped up with her character from time to time and it was just more proof she had no negative opinion about teenagers and adults being involved)
I will openly admit I was not easy to be with back then, I was a confused and angry/desperate teenager with absolutely zero knowledge on how to be in a decent relationship. I was needy, immature, and bratty. And I was prone to lashing out, pushing adults past their limit, and trying to purposely upset them so they treated me how I thought I deserved and needed to be treated. The string of adults I allowed to romantically chase me as a kid is proof of that. Unchecked disorders and trauma played a huge part, but it’s a reason, not an excuse. I was emotionally/mentally immature.
I did a lot of things I regret in that relationship, I was a mess and a toxic handful. It really truly didn’t help that the maturity between us was seven years apart, and I wasn’t aware of that difference or why it mattered. A high school kid trying to be in a serious relationship with a married adult will never turn out right, it’s never good, but I lacked the knowledge to know that. She, on the other hand, did not. There was no way she was ignorant to the problems there.
When it all fell apart due to all the things I just mentioned, she was content to sit back and allow her other adult friends to call me out and isolate me from the fandom and rp circle I was in. This pushed me to my very first suicide attempt, handled very poorly by myself and everyone involved, when the police contacted my (abusive) parents, they said I was fine and everyone accused me of “faking” the situation, which was far from the truth. The trauma of that attempt, and how scared I was, is still a problem I’m trying to confront.
She also accused me of things that simply weren’t true, and used that to further attempt to chase me out of any friend group I was in from there. I remade my blog after a while and tried to start over/heal in a separate fandom. She did things like send me anons, allow her friends to contact me passive aggressively, and create more callouts about me with information that was false (as in: using posts I made about a sexually abusive ex to say I was lying about her, when the posts in question had nothing to do with her, and were actually about someone I knew years before we met, to create a callout and tag it with the fandoms I was part of. Situations like this continued to happen for quite some time, despite her saying she cut contact and was done with me.) She also got herself involved with any disagreements I had with others, and consistently pushed to “teach me a lesson” and show me the error of my ways through public humiliation.
(I will quickly mention that her friend behind these callouts was also an adult, who was famous for being aggressive and callout happy. They threatened their 16/17 year old smut rp partner around that time with threats of callouts and public isolation if they didn’t change their tune and become a better person, which is what they ultimately did to me. They are also an outspoken “anti anti” running a naruto incest rp blog, but that’s neither here nor there.)
Years later I contacted her to apologize for my part in everything going to shit, and while she accepted it, she had no apologies to say back and blocked me before the conversation could go any further. That was the last and only attempt I made.
The trauma and issues from our relationship are not really something I allowed myself to accept and realize. I blamed myself for everything that happened for years, and it was until I was an adult myself that I realized what happened was wrong. I’m almost 25 now, and the thought of dating a teenager makes me sick to my stomach, as it should! but she never had a problem with the idea. Not once did she apologize or admit guilt for dating a high school kid as an adult well in her late 20s. As far as I can tell, she sees nothing wrong with it, and neither do her friends who sat back and allowed it to happen/encouraged it.
I still have nightmares about the falling out, and the sexual conversations between us/how they made me feel, and I’m terrified of anyone more than seven years older trying to befriend me. I ran from a friend recently due to the age difference between us, and their mannerisms reminding me of her. I turn down romantic gestures from partners that imply they want to take care of me, or unintentionally seem infantilizing. Even the mention of large age gaps with teens and adults makes me shake. I woke up shaking from a nightmare just last night about my loved ones terrorizing me the way her friends did.
It was extremely difficult for me to see past the kind person I remember her being during our relationship, put a name to the dirty and ashamed feeling I had, and realize her behavior was predatory and wrong. And whether or not it was intentional grooming, she still behaves as if there was nothing wrong with her actions, and a relationship like that was/is acceptable and normal. It really does worry me for any future teenagers she could befriend, and makes me sick to think about the kind of people she calls friends and supporters. Minors are not safe around those people, and that’s simply all there is to it.
Please do not send her anons, contact her, or harass her/her friends. This puts me at risk for being targeted again, and it’s really not behavior I’m okay with or encourage. This isn’t a callout as much as it is a warning, and a way to keep teenagers from making the same mistakes I did. If an adult shows interest in you, please run, cut contact, reach out to guardians. “Age is just a number” is a bullshit and dangerous statement, and I really don’t want anybody to learn the hard way. Stay safe
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taenys · 5 years
Note
tom updates!
Tom updates!!!! Well Tom’s flying out to Indiana shortly to visit his dad (whose house got hit by a tornado!!!!!), so I won’t be spending the weekend with him (which is of course VERY sad and is making this work week feel longer and more exhausting than ever). Other than that though, the Tom Updates are that I am completely and unequivocally in love with him. And I am completely and incandescently happy about that fact. 
I don’t think I’ve ever been in love with someone and actually felt happy and secure in that fact? Normally I feel riddled with fear and insecurity. Being in love has never been a happy experience lmao it’s always been me constantly prepared and ready to flee when my heart is inevitably broken, and fully expecting it to happen. As a result, developing any level of romantic attachment to someone has always been a stressful experience. It’s always been me giving and giving, pouring my heart and soul to someone, and getting little or nothing at all in return. 
Unrequited love is a story I know all too well! My first experience with “love” was just that. My “first love” was when I was 8, and I remained in love with said person until I was about 19 even though my existence was of next to no importance to them. When I was 15 I dated the popular jock kid who bullied me in high school (because apparently when someone bullies you it means they have a secret crush on you!!!!1!11 NOT) like I was in some sort of cheesy teen drama, where the jock falls for the invisible nerd and it’s magical and perfect. Except he ended up raping me so that was the actual worst.
After that I had an online relationship that lasted about a year, but the distance got to be too much and I could see that he was making less and less of an effort to keep contact (he was busy with school and stuff) so I ended it and we remained friends. That relationship was nice, but he was never much of a talker or a writer (which feels very crucial in an online relationship) so it took a lot out of me emotionally to always be my lovey dovey and affectionate self with my words and get next to nothing in return. 
Fast forward to 2017 when The Dude came into the picture and I thought FINALLY! A mature, settled, smart, adult human who MUST know what he wants in life and in a relationship and will be upfront about it and honest with me and things could be really great!!!!! Except then they weren’t. Because he did the usual fuckboy things of sleeping with me, taking me out on dates that consisted of never leaving his apartment, never letting me talk, never asking about myself and MY interests, and telling the whole world that he was Very Much Single the entire time. It wasn’t until a year of keeping me hanging on (giving me scraps of attention to live off of), that he FINALLY had the decency to tell me that he “couldn’t be in a romantic relationship right now.” Good thing I had already deduced that fact after like month four *eye roll emoji* 
I was convinced no one would ever be able the handle the amount of love I have to give (do I love TOO much????!!!!!! Why have I been given such a terrible curse of loving so much and expecting nothing in return!!!!! THIS IS MY TALE OF WOE). People this day and age, man! They don’t want to be hopelessly adored!!! 
Everything with Tom feels different. And I don’t mean that it’s because I think he can “handle” me (which is a silly way of thinking to begin with) or he’s just as passionate and cheesy as I am (because I doubt anyone will EVER be as obnoxious as I!!!! And I fully embrace that fact!!! lmao). But rather, I trust him. And I feel secure and safe in that I can be myself. I can love and love and love and know that my love is going somewhere safe, where it will be cherished, that it’ll be reciprocated in its own unique Tom way, and I’m not just pouring all this emotional energy into the void where I’ll end up drained and dead inside afterwards. I feel more alive, more in love, more ME than ever. I suppose this is how all relationships SHOULD feel, but because I’ve never felt it to now every time I’m around him I can hear the Hallelujah chorus in my head. 
It’s so stress free. Do you know how good it feels to be with someone that you don’t have to turn on a fake personality for? Or force yourself to be “on” and “fun” and “interesting” all the time. He can be watching his stuff and I can be taking a nap and it’s……..amazing and perfect. Because we’re together. That’s all I want. That’s all I need. We don’t have to be talking or touching or anything (though I always love idle touching). But I know he’s there and he knows I’m here. I’m happy with that. 
That’s the kind of relationship I’ve always wanted. One that we’d be content just sharing the same space together. We don’t have to entertain each other all the time. We can lay in bed and share memes with each other. Watch horror movies and freak out at the jump scares (well, maybe that’s mostly me…), take perfectly innocent showers together to conserve water (I love admiring his nude form, he’s a work of art), shop for groceries (though I think he’s never going to allow me to accompany him for that because I always insist on paying), eat delicious fatty food together and not move for the next few hours as a result, go catch pokemon and participate in raids and stuff in pokemon go (oh my god, community day in pokemon go this month was on a Saturday while I worked and so I wasn’t going to be able to participate much so Tom, my angel, my love, came out to my town early to take my phone and catch pokemon FOR me…. #truelove #relationshipgoals), play games together, or just sit and watch him play because he’s AMAZING at everything (Tom: “I’m gonna be bad at bloodborne!” Tom, two weeks later: has beat the game multiple times and is now the Best Ever). 
Any and all things are good as long as I’m with Tom. That’s where I’m at right now. He’s so sweet. My god, he’s so sweet. He’s so good. So fucking good. So wonderful. So amazing. So fucking BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!! It still gets me, every single time, when I see his face after not having seen him for a week or so, how absolutely gorgeous and handsome he is. How helpful and kind and thoughtful and warm he is…it all makes me swoon, and deeper and deeper I fall. But it’s wonderful!!! Getting lost in him is the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced, because in him I’ve found myself and where I want to be. 
I found the one whom my heart loves
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the-nysh · 7 years
Note
Whats your opinon of kiri//baku and todo//deku?
!!!!! 👀 Oooh, *takes deep breath* so I’ve finally been askedthe big question. (Thank you for courteously using the /s to block the ship names out of the tags) Because I DO have opinionsabout them. I’ve mostly kept them to myself, but since I’ve been prompted, Iwill try to be as honest and thorough as I can. :’)
Disclaimer: If you high-key shipeither of the two, please proceed with caution! 
To preface:
If it wasn’t already obvious from the content I reblog (and rave about in thetags), my decisive fav character of the series is Kacchan, and similarly, my otp of the series is with him and Deku(as bakudeku, aka bkdk for short – which is how it’scommonly called on twitter). So going in, that’s my given stance already.
But it wasn’t always this way! :O When I first started theseries I went in pretty cautious, wary, and undecided; I actually never plannedto fall so hard for either the character or the ship (and I rarely ship things tobegin with). That is, until Hori repeatedly bludgeoned me in the face and heartwith all the reoccurring and carefully consistent character development, to thepoint ch120 became the final, decisive nail in the coffin - the point of noreturn for me. :’3 So now, I’m fully invested in seeing how their story pulls through to the end, nomatter what it might become (it doesn’t even need to be shippy). With them thematically established as two sidesof the same coin – on opposite ends of the same spectrum of heroism – the twohalves of All Might who both win and rescue:I want to see how they push each other towards greatness and mature into a pairof the best heroes. It’s a long-term investment of hope and a case of slowburn positive development, in direct (and on purpose!) contrast to its rockyand strained foundations (they ARE immature and emotionally constipated teensafter all), but it’s all been carefully laid out through a steady path ofnarrative foreshadowing. Where the prospects at the end of that path – of mutualsupport, understanding, reconciliation, cooperation, teamwork, trust – arebeautiful and rewarding things that make their ongoing journey of growth worthit. So…for Hori to smash any original expectations I might have had, and makeme fall hard for something I never intended to happen, are examples of whatI consider GOOD writing.
After I realized this, I went and did my research. Which inmy case, is reading up on countless character/relationship meta and fanfics togauge how the fandom sees their potential too. So I am very aware of the multiple sides of existing arguments and the dramathat’s already happened in the fandom (from across both tumblr and twitter). Iknow the western fandom considerably favors kr/bk and td/dk (at least for now), BUT in the eastern fandom,it’s actually bkdk that’s more popular. Hmm, curious why that is?
One of the reasons is partly thanks to the widespread availabilityof fan mistranslations (FA group) that have greatly exaggerated certain characterizations(ie Kacchan), leading to fandom fearmongering and the perpetuation of stigmasagainst the canon development of certain relationships (ie bkdk), which in theoriginal text, were never nearly thatflanderized or as offensive in context to begin with. Include also, adifference in cultural expectations/values, and we get a prickly concoction ofmisunderstandings ready to brew. It’s a poor and unfortunate case of important subtleties/complexitiesgetting lost in translation, while the bad things are blown way out ofproportion, to the point the story’s original intent is sidelined, or worse, canonis deliberately obstructed by translators who already dislike seeing suchcontent (because it’s ‘not their ship’) – so they prevent and hurt othersfrom fully enjoying the progression of the series as the author intended. Peoplecan like what they like (that’s perfectly fine), but in all of my lurking, Ihave SEEN examples of these things (andworse) actively happen, and quite frankly, the spread of this blatant toxicityand compulsive collective ignorance sickens me. So, I choose not to getinvolved with it, and instead focus on the positive.
Because of my preference for meta and faithfulinterpretations of the text (making sure available translations are reliablefor analyzing, for instance), I’ve gathered enough information (andacknowledged enough counterarguments) to make an educated decision for myself onwhat I value most and want to see from the series. Unless Hori veers offotherwise, I’ll stick by that conclusion and enjoy following the series throughto fruition (regardless of what the rest of the opposing fandom might say).
For example, one of the first dedicated and respectful metawriters – back when only the FA scans were available, but who ALSO providedcorrections from the Japanese text where necessary, came to this conclusionabout Deku and Kacchan’s characterizations:  
From ryokure:
“Deku is such a super special case that if a fanfichas him and Kacchan in it - no matter the parings - and they don’t have somecase of mutual obsession, I actually consider that OOC.”
Which, after everything I’ve seen of the characters, I can fully concur withthat statement.
MEANING, if the fandom portrays them off alone, together, or involvedin relationships with other characters and they lack this intrinsic magnetism that binds them together (for betteror worse) – if they can somehowfunction completely normal without being influenced by the presence of anotherand magically not even care about each other anymore, then my suspension of disbeliefbreaks. They’re too OOC. (Unless it’s a fic au where they never met or grew uptogether.) These two are TOO canonically wrapped up in their mutual complexesto simply cut ties, wrap up all their unresolved issues with a band-aid,and essentially ignore a core issue of the series for the sake of ‘shipconvenience’ with others. Their canon relationship is too complex to make such simplifiedportrayals of them believable, or even such flimsy ‘solutions’ for their issuesfeasible. Thankfully, we have Hori actively doing all the hard work for us sowe don’t have to worry about such transgressions like that happening in canon. (InHori’s consistent characterizations we trust!)  
Now then, with all of THISestablished, I can finally answer your main question: my opinion on kiri/bakuand todo/deku.
Let’s start with todo/deku:
Because believe it or not, when I was still new to the fandom and in my earlyresearch stages, I actually lowkey shipped them and read plenty of fics aboutthem too! I was open to them as a pair, but still undecided and wary because I didn’t know who to ship withDeku: either Todoroki or Bakugou. I saw all the widespread (western) fandomcontent for td/dk, with the apparent foundations for the ship based on eventsfrom the Sports Festival, where Deku ‘saves’ Todoroki and acts as the catalystto allow him to defrost his issues with his father and realize his true power.I thought, ‘ooh there’s something interesting in there worth looking forwardto; I’ll keep an eye on how canon develops their relationship from here.’
Unfortunately…canon didn’t give me anything else substantial to build on. Andin my case, those are foundations I NEED to be fully on board and convinced fora ship. It was the equivalent of fandom hyping me up for something to lookforward to, with me sitting there with a huge smile and my arms raised inanticipation…only for the rest of the manga to leave me dry. It was a hugedisappointment. Because except for a few scattered incidents, like from theStain arc and maybe the recent ‘it’s ok for heroes to cry sometimes too’moment, canon progress for their relationship has been severely underwhelmingand virtually nonexistent. Todoroki has chilled into becoming a supportive (yetstill socially awkward) friend for Deku yes, but even Iida has had more canon incidents of concern for Deku’s wellbeing,and challenges Deku into becoming a better person/hero with their interactions.(And yet, fandom support for Deku and Iida is virtually nonexistent incomparison, because their friendship resembles the camaraderie between bros, Iguess??)    
So then I was like, ‘wait, am I missing something here? WHY does the fandomlove td/dk so much, when their canon interactions are so limited, and the onlybig thing that’s happened between them was all the way back in the SportsFestival??’ So, I went and investigated the potential of their relationshipfurther in fanfics (which are quite numerous and popular on a03 I might add).
After taking a look, I began to see trends. Most td/dk fics are heavily skewed in Todoroki’s favor, tothe point of being practically one-sided in character development. The mainconflict in almost all their ficnarratives revolves around solving Todoroki’s issues with his father and comingto terms with HIS powers, leaving Deku as a passive, supporting participant inhelping Todoroki out with his problems. Which, while the two of them could bondtogether over their missing/difficult father issues, after a while this same familyconflict gets old and stale. What else is there? What about Deku’s problems for equality’s sake?He’s the main protagonist! How abouthis difficulties in learning how to make One for All his own too? Ah nope, hecan’t canonically confide in Todorokiabout the secrets of his quirk, now can he. ;) Oh wait. What about his problems with Bakugou? Is the biggest elephant in the room going to be ignored for the sakeof typical couple melodrama, or is my fav character going to be demonized so that Todoroki, the ‘prince’on a white horse, can ‘save’ Deku, the ‘damsel’ in distress, from him?! No way. And THAT is another hugeproblem I have with the ship.
Because in all the fics I’ve read of them, I never once was convinced ofDeku’s feelings for Todoroki. I can understand Todoroki gaining a passing crushon Deku thanks to their fight in the Sports Festival. But Deku? How does heeven fall for him? Just becauseTodoroki is nice and considerate and listens to him? Like a friend? (Deku has Uraraka and Iida forthat too, what makes Todoroki any more special than them in Deku’s life?) Thisties in to my previously mentioned suspension of disbelief and ooc territorynow. Because Deku is not some haplessdamsel in distress ready to be swept off his feet and easily charmed by somepotential suitor; he’s a BAMF with a heroic spirt that’s even feared byBakugou. And these traits are so rarely utilized to their full potential intd/dk fics - Todoroki’s influence rarely even challenges or inspires Deku toBECOME the best he can be to draw out his latent potential. (Iida’s canonicallydone more in that regard thanTodoroki’s ever done.) Again, it feels too one-sided in Todoroki’s favor toimprove as a better person/hero.
Oh yeah, and since Deku became one of Todoroki’s first ‘true friends,’ forTodoroki to fall for him feels like putting too many eggs in one basket,without giving Todoroki the chance tobranch out and make normal/healthy relationships with OTHERS first beforesettling down. He’s a socially awkward kid emotionally repressed by domesticabuse; for him to latch onto Deku, the ‘first’ person he’s finally (andliterally) warmed up to, feels like the budding symptoms of unhealthy copingmechanisms and compensating for Todoroki’s deeper emotional issues. Where it thenbecomes Deku’s ‘responsibility’ to care for the turnout of his wellbeing, whenNO - Deku’s got plenty of his OWN issues to become burdened with someone else’s on top of those. Plus in canon,Todoroki’s doing just fine and is perfectly capable of handling his personal problems onhis own without having to depend on Deku.
Again, it’s all touchy territory that feels like it sidelines the mainintent of the series itself – by branching off into the deep end of Todoroki’sangst at the expense of Deku’s, or worse: simply wrapping everything up with afluffy bow called ‘the power of love.’ Nuh-uh, not only is that immenselyidealistic and unrealistic, but it’s totally not the kind of content I signedup for when I started the series. I’m frankly not interested in delving into thoseoff-tangent topics in opposition to canon, where Deku’s problems are oftensidelined, his characterization compromised, and my fav character (Kacchan) eitherbecomes an exaggerated, antagonizing impediment to their ship or is simplytreated like he doesn’t even exist. (My patience and willing suspension of disbeliefonly go so far.)
In the end, Todoroki’s a supportingcharacter. In a tertiary tier after the protagonist (Deku) and the deuteragonist(Bakugou). Yet in td/dk fics he’s almost always turned into a main protagonistsomehow. I can understand his appeal and why he’s so popular in the fandom, yes(and I like him too!), but there’s a point where this exposure becomes TOO much,the limit to his available canon issues becomes saturated and repetitive, and itultimately becomes so tiring to keepcoming back and addressing the same topics in fanon when canon has alreadymarched on to focus on more pressing issues. I’m more interested in exploring those other things.
So nowadays, whenever I see td/dk content, I go ‘ayy that’s nice (or cute),’and keep on scrolling. It doesn’t bother me, but it doesn’t interest meanymore either. I probably won’t touch anymore fics of them together either;I’ve seen and had enough. I’m actually more receptive to seeing Todorokiinteract and develop friendships with other characters, like Inasa (the wind guy from the rival school)or even Momo for instance. Either of those ships I see around, I’m cool withtoo.
The final line: I don’t ship them (anymore), because canon swayed me over with the more pressing and compelling developments of bkdk.   
NOW, it’s time to talk about kiri/baku:      
To start, I actually LOVE Kirishima as a character. And I’ve alreadyestablished upfront that my fav character in the series is Kacchan. So whatgives? It turns out their ship has neverbeen on my radar.
Kirishima is a great character, but I’ve only ever seen him as a supportive bro. To EVERYONE in their class. Whichis precisely how Hori designed him: to be a compassionate/empathetic nice guywho bridges the gaps between the class with his vigorous enthusiasm and support(same role that Denki shares, by the way). And he fulfils this role splendidly.But he ALSO has his own insecurities and developing friendships with manyothers in the class – Denki, Mina, and Deku included. All of those people areimportant to him (and I’m cool with all their ships with him too). Kirishimadoes not solely revolve aroundBakugou.  
It’s true that near the beginning of the series, Bakugou was an angry loner,Kirishima trailed after him on his own accord, and after seeing his version of‘manliness’, decided to stick by him and support him, because Kiri saw thepositives of his character that ‘no one’ else bothered to see. (NOT true; Dekuhas always seen and admired Kacchan’spositive traits since they were children.)And so what’s canonically established is a budding friendship where Kirishimafulfils his given role to bridge gaps (whenever Bakugou strays away from theclass), essentially working as a rubber band plot device, and as a secondperspective – aka a fresh lens, for the audience to view Bakugou’s positivequalities.
All of this I’m cool with. I actually enjoyseeing their canon interactions and the kind of fun, slapstick way they bounceoff each other. (I even like the concept of Dragon!Kiri too!) BUT, it’s whenfanon starts twisting their canon relationship into shippy territory, that’swhere things start getting…ugly, at least for me.  
Remember, I’ve always only seen Kirishima as a supportive bro, and I MEAN that. They have the samered eyes. The same style of spikey hair. The same pumped up mannerisms whenthey get going. Too many similarities that rub me the wrong way when put in aromantic context. (The only difference is that one of them is the soft-hearted ‘niceguy,’ and the other is the outwardly prickly ‘asshole.’) To me, to ship them feels like the equivalentof taking the parallel ends of two polarized magnets: you can manually forcethem close together, but in the end, they cannot touch because the same ends ofmagnets naturally repel. Now, flip one of those magnets around (aka turn it intoDeku), and boom, the opposite ends attract with explosive force. And THAT ishow bkdk feels to me in comparison.
However, the kr/bk fandom doesn’t stop there. I know there exists plenty of fics about them, but I’ve never read any, and frankly, I never will, not even for curiosity’ssake. Because from the overabundance of otherfandom content, I already know what their ship dynamic is about. And it doesnot appeal to me at all.
Remember how I said Kacchan is my favorite. I do not appreciate when thefandom warps him into either a demonized or castrated caricature of himself –aka when they turn him into someone he most definitely is NOT, all for the sakeof a ship. Or worse: when they use Kiri’s relationship as a means of changingBakugou into a character they findmore appealing. NO. Even more worse: when they treat Kiri’s whole character as awalking plot device for ALL of Bakugou’s positive character development. Fuckno! Kirishima doesn’t deserve this dehumanizing treatment by the fans, andneither does my fav, getting subjected to this…betrayal to his whole character.
What am I talking about? When fans insist that Kiri is the ONLY personBakugou can be ‘nice’ to, outright forsaking or ignoring the canon developmentseither of them have with other characters – what about Denki, the rest of the‘Bakusquad’? Or Deku? Remember my dislike for ignoring the elephant in the room back in my spiel about td/dk?Well here, it’s infinitely times worse.
Because Kiri does not become aconvenient narrative replacement to ‘solve’ all of Bakugou’s problems or themeans to correct his bad behavior. It’s not even Kiri’s business orresponsibility to do so! (Same deal if Uraraka is shipped in Kiri’s place.) Hispresence doesn’t challenge Bakugou’s current conduct or world views to improvehimself as a better person, OR actively affect his drive to become the best hero.At most, Kiri endures the brunt of Bakugou’s outbursts when they happen(because he can harden with his quirk, he can ‘take’ it, and their banterbecomes ‘humorous’ and ‘harmless’…no, it absolutely does not) and amicably slides off any further implications with a ‘heyman, that’s not cool’, or excuses/accepts it with a ‘it’s fine because he’s justbeing himself.’ Now we have a situation where Kiri becomes a passive ‘butt-monkey’to Bakugou’s whims and actually enableshis unacceptable behavior to persist. And Bakugou somehow becomes fully invested in a single confidant who babies andpicks up after him (how the heck? no way would he allow himself to get ropedinto a relationship like that, if any at all. He’s strong and independent enoughto handle himself fine.). Even when it’s portrayed where Kiri is the ‘only’ oneBakugou’s nice to, they’d exist in a vacuum tunnel, sealed off from the influenceof others, and become a spiraling fester-hole of static development. None ofthese prospects are the ‘healthy’ long-term results that fandom seems to claimthey are. Tell me, if Bakugou was reallyan abusive character, would his behavior magically ‘fix’ itself simply thanksto Kiri’s passive influence or ‘the power of his understanding kindness and love’?The answer is a resounding and definite NO. The only person who can canonically stand up to Bakugou’s behavior (andnot brush it off), fundamentally challengehis world views and complexes, match him in equal and opposite intensity with themutual drive to be the best, and receivethe full extent of his turbulent feelings, is Deku.
This is what I’m referring to when I say fandom often ‘ignores the elephantin the room,’ because THIS (Deku and Kacchan’s relationship) is an established,ongoing and important core issue of the series itself, that many shippers wouldrather sideline for the priority, current gratification, and fluffy convenienceof an opposing ship. Aka, simply slap them together with the first nice friend theymeet (in both Todo and Baku’s cases, it’s the ‘too many eggs in one basket’problem again…), who will solve all their problems and work to ‘change’ theminto better people…somehow? No, that’s the case of unrealistic, wishful thinking bad writing andtaking the easy way out when something -the elephant in the room- is too challengingand complex to tackle head on. Thankfully, Hori IS tackling their story head onas purposely intended, so I don’t have to worry about canon jumping the sharkon the progress of their relationship.  
So, instead of Kiri being shipped with Bakugou, I much prefer him as a supportingcharacter (a supportive bro!!) who helps ease Bakugou into social/emotionalsituations that he’d normally avoid (which is how Hori originally designedhim??? to bridge those gaps -aka Bakugou’s loner distance - in the class) I’veread plenty of bkdk fics where Kiri becomes the mvp BECAUSE of his natural abilityto do this! With him as a much-needed wingman, voice of empathetic reason, and trustedsecond opinion who Bakugou can confide in to help confront his chronicemotional constipation over Deku. Shipperscan claim that Kiri helps Baku come to terms and become receptive to ‘softer,’ affectionatefeelings when they’re together, when it’s actually the opposite: Kiri becomes astepping stone for Bakugou to learn how to ‘make friends’ with other people whenthey’re apart. ‘Other people’ meaning: Denki, the ‘squad’, Todoroki, the restof the class…and most importantly, Deku.Let my son -Kacchan- learn how to form healthy, genuine relationships withpeople again, so he can gain the necessary experience and maturity to reproach hislifelong treatment of Deku and decide to patch up their relationship on his own terms. This, I feel, is a much more satisfyingoutcome and effective use of Kiri’s character, both in his involvement withBakugou and for the long-run benefit of the series itself.
But instead of seeing it this way, much of the (western) fandom overexaggerates the importance of Kiri and Baku’s relationship, to the point it notonly overshadows the content of other ships, but obfuscates the actual translated GEN contentof canon itself. (WHY!?!) I’m not even going to touch the propensity, hypocrisy, and irony of their shippers to harassand bully others for their opposing shipping preferences (that’s a whole other can of worms). Overall,it’s gotten so bad and obnoxiously rampant that I’ve been forced to block the ship tag for my own sanity and enjoyment of theseries. The ONLY time it’s ever beenrequired for me to use the blacklist function here, and that’s saying something.
Therefore: I support their friendship as supportive bros, but kr/bk as a ship was never on myradar. I’ve never shipped it, and I will notbecome interested in their potential as a pair. I used to be ok with seeing fan content of them around…until thefandom essentially and unfortunately soured it into a notp for me. Welp!   
And there we have it, my full opinion on both ships. I hope that satiatesanyone’s curiosity on the matter, as so far I’ve had plenty of personal reasonsto stay in my own lane and only show my avid support for bkdk. This I’ve confidently decided and I will continue todo so, for as long as I’m invested in the series.  
For some further reading and similar informed opinions:  
http://explodo-smash.tumblr.com/post/165154054112/not-to-pit-ships-against-one-another-but-i
http://explodo-smash.tumblr.com/post/163895267877/why-do-you-ship-bakugou-and-deku-if-its-abusive
http://tinyshinysylveon.tumblr.com/post/168731953134
https://punkbakugo.tumblr.com/post/170514358890/do-you-think-that-the-fandom-over-exaggerates
Also related: my opinions about Kac/chako. And Izu/Ocha.
Edit: now cross-posted on a03
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zachwritesstuff · 6 years
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Digimon Adventure Tri: The Good, The Bad and the Ugly
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I’ve been a fan of Digimon ever since I was 11, back in 2001. Though I’ve had a rocky relationship with it, I’ve always admitted myself as a fan of those weird little monsters and their wacky adventures.
It’s why I was so excited by the announcement of Digimon Adventure Tri. One of my favorite seasons was, of course, the first, and I was excited to see what they could do with these characters in a more modern setting, with them a bit older and tastes and themes in anime having changed since the heyday of the monster partner genre. Heck, I was even excited by the rumors (that ended up being true) that the season 2 characters would have very little involvement in the plot. I had long stated that Season 2 was my least favorite season, so that felt like the icing on the cake for a great show.
Having recently finished the last movie, and hearing the news of more on the way, I have to say that my view on this revitalization experiment is not as shiny and bright. While I will say it was an interesting thing to watch, especially after such a long time, it was hard to say if it was good or not. So I’m going to go over some positive and negative aspects I found over the several years it took for this entire series to come out.
By the way, as this will be talking about this series as a whole, there will be spoilers
The Good
1.  It was good to see them again
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Let’s get that out of the way real quick. Despite overall problems I had with this series, I will admit that the fanboy in me did really like seeing new material with these characters I loved as a kid. Hell, I even kind of enjoyed their appearances in Digimon Xros Wars, even if that was the most pure pandering of all time.
I also liked their updated look, even though it was a bit controversial that they moved away from the classic big head/hands/feet look from the old shows. It helped deliver the message that they were maturing and would be presenting a different kind of story from the original. But with the original voice actors of the Digimon returning to join a brand new cast, it at also said that it wasn’t going to stray too far from the original. Different but not too different. It could work… Right?
But while we’re talking about the characters, let’s talk about…
2. Character Growth
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With the maturing characters, they couldn’t really be the same precocious children anymore. It would seem weird to have this people in their teens acting like 10-12 year olds still. So they had to grow up in some way, and to the credit of the writer’s, much of it felt very sensible.
I think the strongest among them is probably Tai. It makes the most sense, as he is the main character. Whereas he was formerly headstrong and first to enter action before, by Tri, he had become more level headed and questioned his motivation a lot more. This made the series a bit more interesting, as it helped give depth to his decisions and not make it as cliche and repetitive that Digimon tended to be sometimes.
Along with Tai, characters like Izzy, Joe, Mimi and Sora also expanded emotionally, though theirs is a little less obvious. Izzy and Joe are shown to be studying and working in their fields a lot more heavily, while Sora is opening up more and Mimi is becoming more of a headstrong leading type. Unfortunately, since Digimon has always had problems with letting specific characters shines, their character advancement didn’t get much notice, and they weren’t given much room to stretch. Because of this, we only got bits and pieces of who they had become after a few years of development.
The ones that came off the worst of the original crew were probably Matt, TK and Kari. Not to say that they didn’t also advance a bit, but they probably had the least of all. Matt still was cool, and was just now older and cooler. TK seemed like he was supposed to be an auxiliary leader of the group, but with Tai and Matt taking most of the leadership positions, he was left with nothing much to do. And Kari, well… I think she said maybe 20 words in the first couple of movies, and mostly stood around and smiled. For a long time, it seemed like she would get no development, but she did finally get some storylines after what felt like forever. Which leads me to my next point…
3. Kari’s Importance
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Kari has always been my favorite character of the Digimon series. She came during my favorite arc of the original season, and her character felt a bit different from the other known female characters, who were the archetype Girly Girl and Tomboy. She had weaknesses in her often recurring sickness (always unnamed), but it was soon revealed that she had a deeper connection to the plot, and possibly even revealing a much more perplexing story behind the Digital World and what it might hide.
Then… Nothing happened after season 1. They hinted at her connection to the Digital World during Season 2, including the introduction of the Dark Ocean involving her, but through the rest of the series, she just ends up being fodder for Davis’ crush and generally just being Another Character.
That’s why I was glad to see them actually touch on it. They didn’t go too deeply, but they showed that not only did she have a much stronger tie with the Digital World and Digimon, but she also might be able to go beyond, to communicate with Digmon in limbo and help those that might need help. I really do hope that they continue to dive into it and bring her whole deal to a head in future material. And speaking of future…
The Bad
1. Season 2’s Epilogue
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This is honestly a little hard for me to think about, and it won’t be the only time in this article I talk about it. So let’s get it out of the way: I, like pretty much every fan in the Digimon fandom, hate the final Epilogue scene to season 2. It made no sense, it gave random jobs to people that didn’t fit their personality, and basically threw an active grenade into the whole shipping side of the show, making that a basically banned subject if you talk to any fan of the series. So when, at first, it seemed like it was going to retcon all of the epilogue, I was over the moon.
But just like epilogue itself, they give hints to it at the very, very end of the last movie. They talk about Matt’s desire for space, TK is now writing journals of his adventures and Tai’s change in career focus. Despite everything fans have said about it, they are going to stick to their guns, and justify the dumb as hell ending they made.
And you know what? I can respect that. They introduced that bit of canon, and for better or worse, they’re going to stick to it. They’re going to try as hard as they can to try and make sense of what was set forth for these kids future, even if it does seem like an impossible task. A really impossible task, to be perfectly honest…
Okay but seriously, they really wanted to try to justify this? It’s basically like badly written fanfiction. Everyone in the world has a Digimon, Matt is an astronaut, Davis has a ramen stand, Mimi has a cooking show, it feels like a madlib. Even the little hints they put in at the end of Digimon Tri felt like more like a mandate than an actual attempt to be inclusive to the original canon.
And if we are going to talk about the consistency, than you have to really wonder about the things they now have to retcon INTO the epilogue. Namely, Mei, and this whole Digimon shadow government organization. Where do they factor into this idealistic future? Sorry, I’m ranting a bit, but it felt like a big misstep that they could have easily written out with little argument, and yet they felt the need to include it. Hell, they didn’t even physically show the characters of Season 2, and yet they still feel the need to bring back the worst part of that season? It’s just dumb, though to be completely fair, that might just be my own disdain coloring my thoughts.
To be fair, it can work, and I would even be okay with them going in the middle almost, keeping some of the general ideas from the epilogue, but coloring them in a more realistic fashion. I think the big problem myself and many people had with it was how it was presented. It was basically bullet points that were presented without any context. If they do decide to delve deeper, I’m hoping that at the very least, they try to connect it to their characters and modernize it a little bit (I.E. making Mimi more of a media mogul than just a Cooking Show host, make Davis more of an entrepreneur than just a guy with a Ramen Cart). I don’t like it, but if it must be there, at least make it sensible, right?
2. Season 2 characters
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So as you can probably infer from above, I don’t hold the second season of Digimon Adventure in the highest regard. The characters are no exception. But Jesus Christ, not even I would have treated them as piss poor as Digimon Tri did. Not only did they not even appear as actual characters, they didn’t even bother to update their appearances! I went and looked back at the scene, and as noted in the appearance section of their wiki entries, their silhouettes are basically just wearing clothes they wore in the past (It’s even noted that Davis is wearing his square goggles from the pilot of Digimon 02). They are then barely mentioned until the last two movies, where they are simply props to fuel how evil and twisted the villain is. Never once are they seen as more than shadowy figures, and the fact that they even lived at the end is a couple of lines in the last five minutes.
Now while I don’t love these guys, I do think that this series of movies was their chance to do SOMETHING with them. Either delve into their characters deeper and separate them from the carbon copies of S1 characters, like they were, or turn into the skid and really have fun with people’s perception of them,much like how Dragon Ball Kai and Super did with Yamcha. They could have really done some cool things with this group, but instead, they basically act like they don’t exist until they’re needed as objects to further the plot
Hell, from here, they could even introduce an interesting plot, on how they were literally gone for weeks, maybe months, yet none of the main 8 characters seemed to care that they were near death somewhere in the Digital World. That could make for an interesting dynamic between them, and even play into a meta competition between Season 1 and Season 2. But, deep down, I know that all of those ideas are just fever dreams, and most likely, any further material will continue to leave them in the background.
3. Some Adult Situations May Apply
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When I was told that the Director of these films also directed School Days and one of the Persona 3 films, it was one of the least surprising thing I had ever heard. For a series who’s whole deal is being a “kids with monster friends” show, it does not feel like it was made for that demographic at all!
I can understand wanting to gear it towards an older audience. It makes perfect sense, actually. The people who grew up with the original Digimon Adventure were now adults, so wanting to make something for their sensibilities seems like the most obvious decision. No problem at all!
But it really is only good on paper. Looking at the history of kid focused shows being transitioned to older focused shows paints a rather different, and more ugly, picture. You get the likes of Ren & Stimpy’s Adult Party Cartoon, or more recently, the absolutely atrocious showing of DC’s Titans, based on the popular Teen Titans series (note: as of this writing, only the first preview has come out, so there is still time to save it, even if it looks unlikely). True, there have been some good shows made from kids properties, like Space Ghost Coast 2 Coast and Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law, but it comes with the caveat of those shows having nothing to do with what they were originally based on.
On the subject of Digimon, it seemed like they were less interested in making a Digimon movie and more interested in making a Persona movie, even down to the final monster being a giant nude angel beast who’s butt is prominently featured on most of it’s shots. Add in the scenes of Tai heavily injured and covered in blood, and multiple characters either dying or going mad with grief, and you basically have the David Lynch student film that is Digimon Tri.
I think the biggest question is… Why? There was absolutely no need to get this grimdark with it. The people who grew up with Digimon enjoyed it for it’s values in friendship and teamwork, in the world building of this fascinating patchwork world, and in these characters growing up and learning. And especially in an age where streaming services allow for modern audiences to go back and watch the original whenever they want, it seems weirdly outdated to think that they would need to make it more “cool and mature” for the original fans.
I could go on and on about this, but really, I’m just hoping they learn that changing the tone of the story is not necessary. We love the characters, and we want to see them grow and prosper, not suffer needlessly.
The Ugly
1. The Grown Ups
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Boy oh boy, was I not a fan of these two. Two government agents at the Incorporate Administrative Industry (I had to look it up because it’s barely mentioned by name), Maki and Daigo are the two exposition machines of this series of films. They try very, very hard to make these two likeable, but it just comes out completely flat and uninspired. Worse, their misguided development takes away screen time from more deserving characters, like Joe, Izzy, TK and Kari.
Their motivations seemed to just be “We’re the government and we gotta stop Digimon”, and they hint at a deeper motive for them. But the hints are extremely vague, to the point where it seems like they didn’t actually know what they were going to do with them in the first few movies. It wasn’t even until the second to last where we learned that, surprise, they’re two of the original Digidestined! And they’re trying to find their old Digimon! Or Something! I’m actually not sure at all…
Then you get to the last movie, and they’re just… removed. Maki is seen wandering off into the Dark Ocean, and Daigo makes a Heroic Sacrifice to save Tai and everyone else. It feels like it should be very deep and moving, but I found myself not caring much because there was never anything to really draw me into either of them. There were fun moments here and there, but never anything an audience could connect or relate to beyond “These two knew each other growing up and dated a little bit.” Though you can’t blame that all on just the general story....
2. The Movie Format, Animation, and the Big Bad(s?)
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Pretty much every review of Digimon Adventure Tri has touched on this, so I won’t get too deep into it. Needless to say, releasing this story as 6 movies hurt it immensely. It caused the story, the character development, the tones, to all feel disjointed and hard to follow, especially with the long wait times between each of them. They were released over 4 damn years, and even as a diehard fan, I found myself struggling to even remember what happened in past installments.
Of course, part of their plan with having the big gaps was to continually renew interest, causing people to want to go back and rewatch the past movies, or purchase them when they came out on dvd/blu-ray. And this would have worked, if it weren’t for the fact that these movies aren’t, well… Really well made.
The animation wasn’t awful, let’s get that out of the way. But it was very inconsistent, and you can tell where corners were cut to save money. It’s no more obvious than in the opening, where half of it had fantastic animation, while the other half looked like a fan film made in Flash.
All the disjointedness and inconsistent flow didn’t help the antagonists of the films either. It became extremely hard to tell who was good and who was bad at times. Was it Meicoomon, who had this deadly virus in her that was going to destroy both worlds? Was it Homeostasis, who wants to reset the Digital World, effectively wiping everything out? Was it Dark Gennai and the who King Drasil group, who want to just cause chaos? I’m pretty sure ends up really being them, but it’s not really mentioned until after everything’s taken care of. And if King Drasil is really the Big Bad person he’s supposed to be, than why was he defeated off school, during a time skip? It’s hard to really figure out who the baddie is when most of the final movie is taken up by Ms. Big Butt Angel Demon.
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Which brings me to my final, and biggest, problem with Digimon Adventure Tri.
3. Mei and Meicoomon
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These two are a waste of space, and the perfect definition of a Whipping Boy type character. She is not introduced to be particularly strong or special. Her entire purpose seems to be to fulfill two things: To suffer in place of the main characters, and to be a love interest to Tai since Sora marries Matt in the future. She is shown to be meek and unassuming, not talking much and acting shy around other people. At first, things aren’t so bad. Her interactions with Mimi helping her come out of her shell starts to establish a good character arc for her, and it seems like she is organically going to become a part of the group. But then Meicoomon ruins the fun.
Meicoomon is her cat Digimon, based off the Maine Coon. 70% of Meicoomon’s dialogue is her yelling “Mei!” I would tell your more about Meicoomon’s character, but that is it. She exists, then she becomes evil and has to be defeated, while Mei cries for four movies over the fact that Meicoomon is evil. That’s basically the long and short of it. By the end of the second movie, Mei is catatonic, and Meicoomon is a glitch monster who is destroying everything. The end.
What makes it even worse is the fact that, even by Digimon’s standards, her story isn’t that original! It’s basically just a reworked version of Wallace/Willis and Kokomon from the Digimon Hurricane Touchdown movie (third section of Digimon: The Movie in America), of a kid who’s Digimon friend becomes corrupted, and they are forced to destroy them to stop them. The only difference being that Wallace had two Digimon, and his story was over in 1 movie, while Mei’s dragged on for six of them.
All in all, I think that there is still potential for some good Digimon productions, both for Adventure and other continuities. The films seemed to do alright in the limited box office run in Japan, and they were popular enough to warrant another movie being made (which was announced in the middle of writing this). I’m hoping that does better, but I also hope that it’s the final send off for these characters. Two seasons and a handful of movies is enough for them, let’s give another cast a shot!
Also I still hold out hope for a Digimon Tamers continuation. One can dream~
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mrjeremydylan · 7 years
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Shania Returns: She’s Still the One
By Jeremy Dylan
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Leopard print. Shania Twain. You already have an image in your mind’s eye. But it’s probably not the one I’m thinking of – the classy black and white cover to Shania’s new album ‘Now’, where the highest-selling female artist in country music history gazes towards the sky, hands clad in gloves that surely must be reference to that music video.
“Yes,” Shania chuckles, confirming the wink at her indelible ‘That Don’t Impress Me Much’ video. “You know it's funny because the album is called ‘Now’, and there are just some things in my life that I just move on from. Time to let go of this. Then there are things that just stay with you forever. I think that the leopard print will just always stay with me forever. It’s part of my career and my life and part of who Shania is visually and always will be. I'm happy to take with me into now and the future.”
The ‘Now’ album is recognizably the Shania we all remember, but it’s an album showcasing her growth and maturity in the fifteen years since her last album ‘Up!’. A bout with vocal chord dysphonia left her retraining her voice, which now has a more complex timbre.
Some will be tempted to scan the lyrics for references to Shania’s personal challenges, which have been well documented by the tabloids. But is this an album about the struggles of her last decade and a half or is this like any other album – a complete portrait of the Shania of today. As Shania explains, the title tells the story.
“It really is more about where I am now, and a reflection on my whole life and not just recent years. There's been a lot of life lived to now and I would say that it's a very it's the most personal album that I've ever written.”
As one of the all-time great songwriters in pop or country music, and one of the most successful, Shania has always walked the line between drawing a portrait of her heart and world and finding language that all kinds of men and (especially) women around the world can relate to.
Lead single ‘Life’s About to Get Good’ is deeply personal, but I’d wager many listeners have no problem finding themselves in lines like ‘You no longer love me and I sang like a sad bird / I couldn't move on and I think you were flattered’.
A song like the volatile, emotionally stark ‘Poor Me’ is without parallel in Twain’s back catalogue. Part of the reason may be that this is her first album written totally solo, without a single co-writer.
“That just does naturally make it more personal. It’s coming from me directly, without any outside influence in the songwriting. I isolated myself to write most of the album, and it's me in the purest sense, unique to anything else I've ever recorded.”
‘Now’ may be the first record with no credited writers other than ‘S. Twain’, but Shania has always defied Nashville conventions. Instead of cutting tunes from the Music Row songwriting elite, she’s had a hand in the penning of all but one song on all her records since 1995’s ‘The Woman In Me’, largely in collaboration with her then-husband and producer Robert ‘Mutt’ Lange.
“I was a writer from the age of ten, so I've been writing alone all of my life. I met Mutt and then he became my collaborator and co-writer for the next two decades. But there was one period, when I first got signed to my record label, that for the first time it wasn't going to be doing my own music. There was pressure to only record outside songs and that's what I did on my first album.”
The self-titled ‘Shania Twain’ album features only one song co-written by Twain, and perhaps no coincidentally, it failed to yield any significant hits. As soon as Shania took the creative reins, this trend was sharply reversed. ‘Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under’, ‘Any Many of Mine’, ‘The Woman in Me’, ‘You’re Still the One’, ��From This Moment On’, ‘That Don’t Impress Me Much’, ‘Man! I Feel Like A Woman’ and on and on. This is Michael Jackson territory.
Countless column inches have been spent remarking on Shania’s pop crossover success and her high-octane stage shows. Her status as one of the most important and consistently successful songwriters of the last 25 years has been underappreciated.
Growing up poor in Ontario, Canada, Twain took to the greats of classic pop and country (“The Beatles were a huge influence, the Carpenters, Dolly Parton”), and the legendary Canadian singer-songwriters.
“There was a whole host of the storytelling singer-songwriters. There were many great Canadian songwriters that were always on our radio like Joni Mitchell of course and Gordon Lightfoot, who was a big influence on my writing.”
Shania’s love of folk singer-songwriters established a songwriting process that is still largely unchanged today.
“For me it's still what it always was, it’s sitting with my guitar. I do work with my guitar in front of a computer now, but that's the only part that's changed. Sometimes it starts with a melody, sometimes with poems, sometimes with a title or just a concept. So there's no real formula.
I'm always writing from a different element in music and there is no one way that I write to be honest.”
Songwriting is a constant in Shania’s life, whether the goal of a new album is in the front of her mind or not.
“I'm always an ongoing writer and I usually just collect ideas over time. When I decided to jump into the project and make an actual record, it was a good year of on collecting all of those ideas and putting them all together. A year of really concentrated writing and then I carried on writing during the recording process as well so. That was all about a two-year period.”
The deliberate, unhurried pace of Shania’s current artistic process is hard not to contrast to the relentlessness of twenty years ago, when she was riding the bazillion-selling ‘Come on Over’ album to world domination. I asked if her if she was able to enjoy all her success in that period, or if she got too caught up in the crazy pace of it all, like so many superstars.
“It's true and that is what happened to me. I didn't really realize how wonderful it all was at the time. That's partly why symbolically I used the leopard print glove [on the new record cover]. I look back on that period of my life very fondly, especially creatively. So it's a throwback of a moment that I now am enjoying really for the first time.”
It’s hard not to remark on a coincidence of timing that Shania is returning with new music, less than a month after another pop culture icon of assertive brunette womanhood has been relaunched into the forefront of our consciousness. Wonder Woman may be fictional, but the awe and inspiration she’s generating in young girls who see that movie has a lot in common with how girls look at Shania.
With her recent return to touring, I wondered what it was like for Twain to play to 20-something girls who grew up worshipping her music.
“Well it's very special to see the audience today compared to the audience 20 years ago.
You know 20 years ago the audience was so full of parents with their small children who were three, four, five, six. Now those kids are in their late teens or early 20s, college age. It’s amazing to see the transition.
They all have a very similar story and it is touching. To hear them say repeatedly ‘You were my first concert, I came with my mom’ and now they're college kids coming with friends.
It’s still in the joy of a child almost, that's what music does to us. It brings us back to such an excitable euphoric place. A song takes you back to a time and it's just so refreshing and wonderful and energizing for me.
It’s unexpected as well because… I don't know what I was expecting, but I just forgot that all these little kids grew up. You come back fifteen years later and all of a sudden, they're adults and that really did blow my mind.
So it was wonderful to watch that evolution. And there's always a heartwarming story as well that people have to share and I love to hear their stories.”
In a couple of short months, these young women will be waiting with bated breath to pick up their first ‘new’ Shania record. Their real-life superhero has returned, armed with a new collection of lyrics and melodies to touch their hearts.
Shania thinks on this for a moment.
“Well,” she says. “I hope they like it.”
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NOTE: This article originally appeared in Country Music Capital News magazine and is reprinted here with permission.
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coucoumelle · 5 years
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In an effort to be empathetic recently, (literature on the subject describes good listeners as empathetic, and one way to be empathetic is to affirm someone’s emotions), I told a friend of mine who has been dealing with a lot of physically and emotionally draining and difficult things in the last… over five years, that I was sorry that walking into (a certain place) brought her tremendous anxiety and that I didn’t know what to say to that.
This particular friend has had encounters with racism, to add on to everything else she had to deal with in her personal and family life.
It would seem that empathy no longer cuts it these days, as my effort backfired.  I was lambasted by a friend of hers, no one I know, a complete stranger, who chastised me with this:
“You could start by apologizing for not realizing how your privilege can further wound the people around you that don’t have it. When you can’t look outside your own experience to be able to understand why so many people are overcome with profound anxiety at the idea of walking into (said place) in America that today is indeed a hidey-hole for all manner of white supremacists, it’s a problem.”
I would just like to point out right now, that this person has NO IDEA what my experience has been; absolutely no clue. But she probably took a look at my profile picture, and assumed, from the paleness of my face, that I was a white person who’d lived in white privilege in a white community all my lovely white life.
Let me tell you about my white privilege.  I didn’t grow up in a white community. I grew up in a Cree community where I was almost always the only non-Cree child in my class. I was very privileged to be called “white-man” every day for years, the worst insult anyone could throw at you, on the same level as a swear word.  I can still hear the contempt in the other kids’ voices as they spat out that word. I was a CHILD. I did not know what my people; my government had done to their people. I didn’t understand the reasons behind the hate. More importantly, I myself had done absolutely nothing to them.  It wasn’t MY fault.
What I DID understand is that when I was in grade four, my father had to come to meet me every single day, twice a day, at noon and after school. If he didn’t, other children would be waiting at the doors for me, ready to beat me up, because I was white.  I understood that my mother was at her wit’s end, trying to keep me in mitts and a hat because other children consistently stole them away from me.  I understood that people put worms and burdocks in my hair, because I was white. I understood that no boy would ever want to go out with me because I was undesirable.  I was a loser.  My classmates found out that my first name is Mary, and they laughed.  Mary Jeanne Chabot… no one would ever want to marry Jeanne Chabot.
I understood that I could never be proud of any of my achievements, because that brought on the next worse accusation: “Ever proud that one.” I learned to never be proud of myself, to never cry for anything, to never show happiness.
I was an outsider.  My very presence was a burden on my classmates.  They were obligated to tolerate my existence at school, on sports teams and on class outings. For years, I tried to figure out what was wrong with me. If I reread my diary from my teen years, entry after entry sounds like a constant self-critique. “Did I laugh too much today?  Maybe I should just not make jokes anymore.  People don’t like my jokes.  I shouldn’t have said this, I shouldn’t have laughed at that.  I was too happy, or too talkative or too something. I am too gross.” Many of my peers made fun of my hair, or my clothes. It took a long time for me to realize that THIS WAS NOT NORMAL and that most people (elsewhere at least) did NOT automatically hate me on sight or think that I was a homely, repulsive excuse for a human being.
THIS was my white privilege.  A word to the wise please, DON’T assume you know what anyone else’s experience is, especially not a stranger’s, because you don’t. That’s just not something you can tell about someone by the colour of their skin or their profile picture.  In fact, that could be considered (*gasp*) racist.
As an adult, I found out that I was not the only one who dealt with this kind of bullying. Any child who was paler-faced or who had mixed parents also had similar experiences, although to a  lesser degree. These others, after all, even those of mixed race, could all claim to belong there, could all claim their Cree heritage, whereas I could not. They had their extended family; aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, in the community, a kind of support circle, while I did not.
I have since heard the stories of some of my peers who grew up with parents and grandparents who had either gone through residential school, or were the children of those who had gone through residential school. Stories of parents unable to show affection to their children because they didn’t know how.  Stories of parents saying the cruelest things to their children because of the pain they kept bottled up inside.  Stories of broken families and multiple half-siblings from different step parents because people had never learned from their parents how to have a relationship and stay together. Stories of substance abuse brought on by depression and a feeling of worthlessness. Stories, many, many stories of suicide.
When a WHOLE population grows up in institutions, no one has their parents’ example to go back on.  You don’t get individual attention or affection or care from adults in an institution when there are a hundred more children with the same needs. Children need their parents.  What happened to First Nations people is exactly what would happen to ANY society if you put all the children into State run orphanages or boarding schools instead of letting their parents parent them.  Try to imagine the social dysfunction that would cause.  This is what, ironically, most conservative Christians are against.  This is why so many choose to home-school.  We should be the FIRST to recognize what a huge mistake residential schools were. We should own that, and recognize that social dysfunction is passed on from one generation to the next. It is NOT just something that happened years ago, it is STILL happening.  We need to recognize that and support them in their efforts to take back their culture and their lives, to deal with their hurts and become strong people, capable of mature relationships, communication, showing affection, and building each other up instead of tearing each other down.
When I moved away from my community, I had to relearn social norms.  I grew up in a place where you don’t offer money for a favour because it is understood that what comes around goes around.  I moved to a place where my new friends would constantly be upset with me because I didn’t offer to pay for their gas, or for some other thing. It didn’t occur to me because I, in turn, did things for free for them. I learned the hard way that you have to at least OFFER or people will think you are profiting off them. Had I been from an obvious ethnic minority, my friends might have been more understanding, might have explained things to me. But I was WHITE. I was supposed to know these things.
Even now, I have to consciously make myself do things a certain way in certain circumstances, because it doesn’t come naturally to me. Although I know this is how it is done here, it is alien to where I grew up. Job interviews are bad, because I dislike trying to sell myself.  I grew up learning never to be proud of myself remember? This also makes it hard for me to insist on getting something I am due, (at work or elsewhere) if someone doesn't feel like giving it to me. Bargaining is another thing I have a hard time with. (I usually leave that to my husband - yes a boy finally DID want to marry me, imagine that!) Where I grew up, you don’t try to pay people less for what they are selling. It makes you seem cheap.
“You could start by apologizing (for your white privilege).” so I am told.  I am sorry, but I already spent half my life trying to avoid aggravating other people simply by the paleness of my face. If there is ONE THING I REFUSE TO APOLOGIZE FOR, it is for being white. I’m pretty sure I know what racism is.  As ironic as it may seem, not only have I seen it first hand, I have experienced it first hand. If you think my white privilege is so great, you’re welcome to it.
What is more, dear friend-of-a-friend who presumes to know my experience despite being a complete stranger, I COULD HAVE BEEN CREE for all you know.  Yes, you looked at my profile picture, and you assumed I was white, and white-privileged, and while you were assuming that I, in my narrow-minded white experience and white privilege couldn’t understand the anxiety of being a victim of racism, it NEVER OCCURRED to YOU to look past YOUR own experience. Not all pale-faced people are “white”.  
You see, I grew up with children who had one Cree parent and one white parent.  Some of those children weren’t any darker than I was, but they were STILL Cree. Some of them grew up to have children blonder than the blondest of my own children.  They are STILL Cree and being brought up as such.  Had that been my case, for you to tell me that I needed to look past my experience and white privilege would have been quite hurtful.
Actually, to be honest, it WAS rather hurtful to me. I go back to visit my community and even now, years later, I STILL doubt the sincerity of people there, through no fault of their own.  I remain not quite convinced that they really want to spend time with me, and are not just being nice. I have no rational reason to doubt. But I do. I still cannot quite believe that you can genuinely like a “white-man”. It’s unnatural. I just do not belong. Thanks for bringing all that up again. Sorry, still not sorry for being white.
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When I Acknowledged To Try Group Masturbatory Stimulation, listed here’s What Occurred.
I listened to the cape come in on his souped up motorcycle. This is actually only among numerous existing complications that can conveniently be attended to by the a lot higher engagement required coming from social landlords and actions certainly not words ... and a file off ONS this week reveals that residential violence as well as misuse is a particular complication for social real estate.
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Tonsil infections generally affect kids from pre-school grow older to the mid-teen years, and also indicators can consist of white colored patches on the back of the throat, discomfort, fever, trouble eating, swollen tonsils and also a stiff neck. You discussed that the FDA intends to get its arms around the issue as well as possess answers to those questions fitbody19.Info and afterwards will certainly make a decision whether to impose a specification, and just what that fender will definitely be actually. I would love to discuss at this time, we deeply appreciate that our team have actually had very good conversations with the provider and also we constantly cherish those discussions. A bunch of individuals have actually said they could not rest, up until today( day5) I've had the opposite issue I cou keep awak Which I am actually beyond thankful for for the skipping the nausea which arises from the pain from such sturdy wreck on an unfilled stomach however likewise an affliction considering that if I slept for too long (2hours) my neck was thus dry out as well as sore. There are some traits that adult little ones definitely don't desire to hear, some traits ideal shown to a same-aged buddy or along with a doctor. Completely by means of university as well as into the adult years, this was regularly a struggle with social skills, only not comprehending conditions, having difficulty if he left timetable. He intended to observe Woody Grain via college and also began on grown-up life prior to laying aside his drawing board as well as rubbing the India ink off his marker for the final time. I have actually a reviewed a. Manual lately concerning adult youngsters abandoning their moms and dads. I recognize how excellent you are actually with her and also believed that added time would make her feel so exclusive. . Guilt-prone folks conducted far better general around the various feelings, and they also showed extra level of sensitivity to acknowledging reduced intensity feelings. I will envision with grownups this will take a great deal even more time. She occurs to become the only one which has actually developed kids, has regularly been fairly clingy, and also possesses opportunity to run down to visit him fairly frequently. Abandonment occurs when a mother physically, emotionally or psychologically removes herself off her kids. I was actually reassessing this as well as this involved me that while this is actually a major landmark, the quest to maturity is actually not an unexpected event the beginning transforms 21. I at times hear parents rebuke their little ones, "You have to enjoy me currently! Riboflavin functions as a coenzyme and collaborates with other B vitamins in lots of responses to launch electricity coming from nutrients in your body system's cells by accepting and then giving two hydrogens, baseding upon Eleanor Whitney and Sharon Rolfes in Knowing Nourishment." Riboflavin additionally helps along with development and the development from red blood cells. When you experience harmed through that, people which have actually certainly never gone by means of this won't know and there will be opportunities. Driving this solid economic performance is actually proceeded solid prescription requirement for our products, which hit over 200,000 prescribeds for a quarter for the very first time.
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angstsplatter · 6 years
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Gilmore Girls Character Analyses
First, let’s just get this out of the way: Emily and Richard Gilmore are incredibly emotionally abusive. Lorelai grew up in an abusive household and was once again subjected to this abusive treatment on a regular basis when Friday Night Dinners started up.
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Lorelai acts really immature and juvenile but is actually surprisingly responsible. Growing up in such a strict and emotionally toxic/abusive household, she hides behind childish humor and taking nothing seriously as a defense mechanism. Until she ran away, Lorelai didn’t have anyone she could really trust enough to talk to or confide in. Everything she said and did was subject to judgement and ridicule. To protect herself from breaking down and always moping and crying and just feeling completely beaten, Lorelai developed a quick sarcastic and biting wit, as well as the ability to distract and change from the subject. She talks a lot to put off having to hear the criticism about to come her way. Lorelai’s talkative sarcasm and childish humor isn’t just some eccentricism or character quirk. It’s a very core part of her character. It’s how Lorelai survived growing up in that hellhole of her home and childhood. And it means she’s not the most emotionally mature person and so can struggle in forming close relationships (hard to get close to people when you have a hard time trusting people and telling them real things about yourself).
So Lorelai is, perhaps surprisingly, responsible and actually pretty damn good at this adulting thing. She became a mother at 16/17 and ran away to live on her own, after never having been prepared to do so (with her parents staff, she was absolutely never taught how to cook, clean, pay bills, or otherwise take care of herself at all), somewhere around 17/18. With a young child, she still managed to both get a job and single-handedly support her baby daughter. She figured out how to work and do a good job. She figured out how to take care of a baby, then a toddler, then a child, then a teenager. She figured out how to pay bills and purchase a house. She figured out what to do when things go wrong (plumber, electrician, ...Luke, etc.).
Sure, Lorelai never learned to cook. She’s not someone who can fix up stuff for herself around her house. But having never been prepared, Lorelai was determined to do things on her own and figured out how to take care of herself and her child. She kept herself together, worked her way up the inn chain, and did a pretty damn good job doing it all. She’s never outgrown her defense mechanism or figured out how to actually create boundaries and protect herself from her parents (and generally struggles with criticism from anyone as a result), but when it comes down to tackling life’s problems, Lorelai always faces what’s going on and takes care of herself and her kid.
Then, on the other hand, we have Rory, who acts very mature and seems much older than her age, yet is actually incredibly immature and unprepared to tackle life on her own. I think this is pretty common with kids raised by teenagers, where their parents are (even by Lorelai’s own admission) more friends and peers than parents and authority figures.
Especially with Lorelai, Rory never really learned appropriate boundaries. And I don’t just mean that they talked about everything with each other and it turned into a fight if Lorelai ever tried to offer advice or guidance because Rory was used to her mom just supporting her no matter what and being treated like a friend instead of a child. It’s also things like Lorelai waking Rory up in the middle of the night, no matter that she was a growing girl that needed sleep or needed to be able to function at school the next day, when it’s her birthday or she has a weird dream. 
And Rory has never been particularly good at making friends and doesn’t have a huge, bursting social life. She has Lane, later found Paris quite by accident (and more of a desire for peace than anything else), and has the occasional boyfriend, but that’s about it. And Paris and the boyfriends came when she was an older teen. For most of her life, her mom has been her biggest influencer and where she learned relationships.
It’s this lack of boundaries and growing up with as much casual honesty as she did with her mom that I think makes Rory, who is described several times by other characters as kind and nice, so okay with consistently cheating (absolutely knowingly cheating with Dean and later Logan and thereby cheating on her own boyfriend at that time as well). And please don’t read that as Rory’s cheating being Lorelai’s fault because it’s not - Rory is her own person responsible for her own actions. I do think that she never really learned proper boundaries, though, and that is part of what goes into her decision to excuse away cheating. I think that’s also partially why she does things like constantly pushes Lorelai towards Emily and Richard, even after she sees firsthand how cruel they are towards their daughter. Her and her mother are so much a part of each other’s lives, she never really grew up and understood that Lorelai’s relationship with Emily and Richard are really... not her business. Same with telling her dad to stay away from her mom.
Rory’s pretty entitled - and incredibly spoiled by overprotective adults, which doesn’t help. Everyone treats her like a princess. She’s the golden ‘child’ of her grandparents. She’s the apple of her mom’s eye. Luke and Sookie and Miss Patty all adore her and take care of her. When she and Dean break up, the town rallies to protect her. Because that’s what the town does: protect Rory. Which is why I think she found Jess and especially Logan so intriguing and attractive. Jess encouraged her to indulge and be “bad” - to not study, to relax and do something fun. Logan in particular never treated her like she was made of glass. He pushed her outside of her comfort zone, got her to try new things, and never said she couldn’t do something.
As a side note, since we’re on the subject, I just want to say that all of Rory’s boyfriends have been really not great except the “forgettable” guy in the new seasons who is, of course, treated like shit. Dean was jealous, possessive, and also didn’t respect boundaries and so was often described as clingy since the amount of time he wanted to spend in the relationship with Rory was more than she was ready for. Jess didn’t communicate well, often kept secrets, and didn’t give Rory enough respect to say good-bye to her. Logan encouraged unhealthy and dangerous behavior in Rory. He also became distant and mean during the period where he was working for his father and really didn’t want to (yet wasn’t brave enough to leave the money behind and live for himself like Lorelai did).
Finally, the fact that Rory has really been spoiled for most of her life could go into why she is seemingly so unprepared to not only get a job in a field she claims to love but is surprisingly underprepared when a job opportunity crops up (I’ve had several jobs basically just offered to me and I’ve still had to at least pretend to interview for all of them, including a job where I worked several summers and they loved me and I was guaranteed a position - and still am if I ever asked). Whereas Lorelai did have to work hard to find her way, Rory grew up in a much more comfortable household in a small town where she was well known and beloved. She works hard at school, but she knows how to work hard for school because reading and studying are things she enjoys anyway. The job world is a tad different and more difficult and so strange for Rory to succeed in.
So that’s some of my thoughts on who Lorelai and Rory are and why they act in some of the ways they do.
tl;dr: Lorelai Gilmore acts immature but is responsible and more than capable of taking care of herself whereas Rory Gilmore gives the appearance of maturity while being emotionally immature and and largely irresponsible.
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Outlander Filming Locations In Scotland
Little one work is certainly not as intense a problem as that was a centuries ago, however it still has an effect on numerous little ones worldwide. Guardian Hair for Kids is just one of A Little one's Vocal Structure's numerous programs providing economically disadvantaged Canadian children experiencing a handicap or sickness. More, little ones which are actually well-bonded and really loved through included fathers, often possess much less behavior http://supplement-portal.info complications, as well as are relatively protected from alcohol as well as substance abuse. ( HealthDay)-- A sizable section of moms and dads whose kids have food allergy symptoms have worries over the security of their little one at school, according to a research posted on the web May 12 in BMC Pediatric medicines.|Moms and dads are actually consistently having a hard time limitations on their youngsters's tablet computers, cellular phones, personal computers, and TVs. And last but not least, I strongly believe that the full-fledged health professionals from kids under age two can sometimes really feel starved for a bit from communication along with other miss. 2. Realize that the person could seem dismissing you, especially due to the fact that eye connect with is actually often tough for individuals with autism, however they are probably paying for additional focus than you will ever before believe.|When one is quite young, research studies present that the optimal age to know a foreign language is. If moms and dads oblige their decision on their little one, which goes against the educator's advice or knack test outcomes, after that it mistakes. If 60 per-cent of reported misuse cases are false, exactly what perform we must do as parents to prevent this off occurring to our kids when they have children from their own?|This is actually the cleaver functionality of the recalls of Shawn's youth at the starting point of a lot of incidents. If you are actually handling a STRANGE kid, satisfy find a minimum of another person which is actually additionally taking care of a STRANGE child or has actually lived through it. Help and understanding are actually very challenging to come by. The main cause is actually that WEIRD youngsters are actually masters of manipulation and also beauty.|Having a family pet is actually a large accountability since you have to make sure this possesses every little thing that this needs to have, and also you should likewise have time to play with this. Having said that, it's absolutely nothing compared with this guy that deals with regarding 300 kitties! Abandonment takes place when a mom literally, emotionally or even mentally removes herself off her little ones. The mixed grow older degree class could be an advantage to both the more mature children and also the younger children equally. B. To determine the EDD by Nagele's policy, include 7 times to the first time from the final menstruation time frame and also matter back 3 months, altering the year properly.|Children's baby teeth are actually an ever before altering thing, occasionally being actually dropped for no apparent cause. To start with, Cara had not been expecting as a young teen, therefore to think about just what her parent's neighbors would certainly assume is absurd to me. She was 25 years of ages as well as decided to be located concerning that the papa was actually thus she could possibly remove the baby.|Are you the moms and dad of a baby that is concerned concerning the possible relationship in between vaccines and also autism? Individuals who have actually experienced abuse, overlook and other unfavorable childhood years expertises (ACEs) such as dealing with residential physical violence in the course of their youth go to much higher danger from mental disease throughout lifestyle.|When a family experiences an accident that shakes the whole neighborhood, there are opportunities. He additionally mentioned that parents like Laura, who was anxious regarding her boy's care, are actually generally resolved steadly as well as compassionately through clinical team. I do possess my downs and also ups, yet at presents, I skip my hubby far more in comparison to any kids I might possess possessed.|Being actually taken into consideration a conductor is certainly not something to extol. The author of this article is actually an university consultant in OnlineSchoolAdmissions and also provides free working as a consultant to moms and dads and also schools for rapid and simple on the web school admissions. Essentially if she really feels that this was right that she be actually returned to her biological parents, then the DeBoers were indeed wrong to assert that this was in her benefit to remain with all of them.|As summer months wane, parents and little ones are actually preparing for the beginning of the school year, but for children with food allergy symptoms, visiting college for the very first time can come with significant stress as well as stress and anxiety. This still can be a teacher-student negative match, yet your child could be either on the slow end of ordinary or even struggling with a learning impairment. Locate Parent Resources One of the very best manner ins which innovation may aid your kid is through aiding you find out more concerning discovering.|, if you are a parent moms and dad a guardian you need to know a few things about the Child Protection Recognize and handful of traits concerning CPS little oneSecurity Occasionally, a WOW's stepson of this particular age offers a contrary habits and ends up being controlling of the WOW. Pertaining character-assassinating stories to the kids and others concerning the other moms and dad. We now understand, for example, that nonreligious youngsters of spiritual moms and dads abandoned their ideas for main reasons that possess little bit of to accomplish along with mental reasoning. According to her expertise, mom is the greatest person on Earth, the innovator of the household, the person in charge from cooking, looking after sick youngsters and also hubby, enlightening the kids like a teacher and always keeping the house as tidy as feasible. The research study, posted in the Journal of Autism and Developing Conditions, presented that moms and dads that participated in cognitive therapy along with their kids, experienced enhancements in their personal clinical depression, emotion guideline, and conscious parenting. When the taxpayers who are obligated to repay overdue kid assistance submit their tax refund, the IRS will appropriate the refund as well as send out the proceeds to the kid or little ones on report. This papa needs to inquire herself: is this the means you truly want to show your children about affection? With routine treatment as well as treatment, kids with higher functioning autism could even manage to live complete, normal lives. When speaking about the middle university capturing that is actually therefore close to property, a Purdue University kid advancement pro could talk concerning exactly what parents and caregivers need to recognize. The majority of these troubles leave as your little one ages, yet some lifestyle variables can easily aid strengthen your little one's rough urination designs. Parents should cope with any kind of effects that the breakup or splitting up might have on their child in a favorable method as they occur and also help their child readjust additional simply to this hard life improvement. That includes youngsters that possess autism. Since I have actually been dealing along with the exact same factor for a lengthy opportunity, I really feel for the other people on listed here. She should have been molested by moms and dads or even family member. Youngsters might inform deceptions for any kind of amount of causes, relying on their age. So exactly what your little one dad don't offer you funds or even spend the moment that he must with the little one. Listed below are actually a few reasons you may or ought to not marry a female with children. Daddies are core to the emotional well-being from their youngsters; they are actually are competent caretakers and also disciplinarians. Harmful parents which participate in such habits rarely have to encounter fines for such actions. In the beginning I was actually quite concerned that I will certainly need to stay in in Singapore for 4 months while waiting for Type K to become refined. Your inner child will definitely need more focus at other attend your lifestyle as different stressors and causes seem. A considerable amount of WOW's were actually not effective in winning the passion of the step little ones, However some who has strong will in possessing an excellent household dealt with effectively within this struggle. A technique I have found out about some time ago usages imagination as well as positive thinking to urge obese kids to preserve a diet and also physical activity schedule. Produce a Wisconsin parenting strategy that satisfies your child's needs. Parents are actually the best important key towards youngster's intellect development. Could our globe innovators not utilize our love from our youngsters as the bottom amount similarity that brings us all with each other on at least one amount?
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meowsaidmayaanime · 7 years
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What I'm Watching August 2016 as of 8/31
Natsume's Book of Friends 8/31 partial watch
This is an adorable anime, I started watching italmost right after Durarara, and if school hadnt just started this week, I would have been fully caught up. As of this post I have only watched seasons 1 and 2 fully, and a little bit of season 3. So in technicality I will write my opinion of it after I am all caught up on the September monthly watches, but because I got halfway through the series while still in August I decided to put this little note here, haha.
So yes, I have been watching this super cute, heartwarming, feel good anime. It's about a boy named Natsume who can see yokai. Often times I get very weary about plots (whether anime, tv show, movie, ect) where the main character can see something no one else can. However this anime does a good job focusing more on the stories rather than simply torturing the main character through ostracization. Well, I will pick this first impression review that I usually do in September when I finish the four season that have been released. So look forward to it!
Durarara 8/27 Addendum (see original post below Time of Eve)
I talked about this anime a little further down in this post after I finished the first season (so read that first if you haven't yet). I finished the entirety of the show last night and wow. It's an incredible story, so intricate and everything is woven together. It's one of those shows where because they switch between multiple characters and plot lines within the show, and because it is a mystery with new information and twists happening all the time, that you forget your own emotions about the characters sometimes.
Tons of things happen that make you feel for the characters and suddenly exclaim in reaction to something, but because your so constantly wrapped up in the story line, trying to figure out how this relates to that, and what this persons motives are, and whats going to happen next that you focus so much more on that than anything else. It constantly has you thinking, which I love about the show. A show that doesn't rely on pure emotion and shock to keep the audience in, but sheer curiosity. It's a good mystery, a really, really good one.
Though I can see why some people may not like it because it makes you think too much, or because there's less pure emotion, or because it's so intricate and you can't keep up, or even because the pacing is somewhat relatively slow. But I assure you, if you can get past all that, this is an amazing show. It's not one that I will gush over, and try to force you to watch, because that's not the kind of show it is. It's just well put together, as I assume the light novel is.
I've just starting reading the light novel, and there is so much more to it. I'm on chapter two and while the anime's first episode did a wonderful job capturing the events and feel of the light novel, the light novel has the intricate detail and thought of the characters that is impossible to convey through any other medium. I am really excited to be reading the source material, and I hope that it will be able to expand and close up some of the holes from the anime that the studio could not fill. When I finish, I'll definitely talk about it (when is the question since not all the novels have been translated...), so look forward to that, because I know I will.
Great show, good to watch if you like intricate, multi-character, multi-story, mystery, action, somewhat supernatural, 'semi-natural' anime. (p.s the dub is pretty dang good.)
Time of Eve 8/21
Yes, yes, I'm well aware that in this giant span of time I've only managed to watch one short 6 episode-er anime. I was on vacation and then fell down the rabbit hole which was the Lego Harry Potter years 5-7 game.
Anyway, I had seen this anime in passing a few times, but finally decided to give it a chance when one of my co-workers recommended it to me. It was definitely worth the watch. Time of Eve is a sci-fi anime taking place in the not quite as distant as you might think future, where androids are commonplace within the average family home. We follow Rikuo who, after reading the location log of his family andriod, discovers that the andriod visited a cafe of her own free will. Confused and concerned, he visits the cafe to find that its only rule is to treat humans and androids equally without discrimination. From here on he, and the audience discover that there is more to androids than just being a robot, and that they are, or have been steadily developing their own individuality.
Right off the bat I was immediately reminded of both Ghost in the Shell and Chobits. Mostly Ghost in the Shell for the political-socio topics the anime discuses. Its actually quite fascinating, not just the topics and themes, but the personalities of the characters as well whether or not they are human. Its a very realistic/natural anime, with a surprising amount of character development for being only six episodes long.
My only critiques would be about the animation itself. Its generally rather smooth, the art style included, however there are many moments where the movement of the camera and characters is very choppy and shaky. This happens mainly when there isn't much movement happening during the scene. Whereas scenes where characters are doing a large amount of movement are very smooth and well animated. I'm not sure how intentional the 'choppiness' of the animation was, but I can tell that the studio chose to focus its animation budget on certain areas more than others.
Regardless, the animation is easy to brush off considering how well the show drew me into the story, mentally and emotionally. I would recommend this to anyone interested in sci-fi, robots/androids, and those who like to question what it is to be 'human'. (It's also a good commentary on 21st century culture and what kinds of things our technology could lead to).
Durarara (season 1) 8/8
Its about a boy named Mikado who decides to go to a highschool in Ikebukuro to fulfill his longing for the excitement of city life in contrast to living in the country where nothing every happens. Here he hears about and witnesses strange rumors about the headless rider, gangs, and other odd phenomenon that are happening in the city. That's how it begins, but we learn very quickly that Mikado is not the only main character, and that there is a lot more going on in the city than just Mikado would know.
I actually decided to start watching this because of this shirt I got with my Akibento back in May featuring Celty the headless motercylcist from Durarara and Haruhi from the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. (btw not my own image)
Yes this was back in May, and yes I did start watching it a few months ago only to now finish the first season. Its a very slow paced anime, like a slow burn, which is why it took so long for me to get through. Don't get me wrong its a good anime, and I did want to watch which is why I periodically came back to it after i finished binge watching a bunch of other anime. It's just slow paced, and not one that will hook you and chain you down to your seat for the next 6+ hours. Hell, I've binge watched anime that I've liked much less than this one.
That being said, its not just slow paced but it also has numerous stories happening at once. Which makes it hard to give a good synospis on. We immediately learn about or at least meet almost all the characters, and are introduced with a number of plots, topics and questions. All which seemingly have nothing to do with each other, but end up intertwining to create a complex and fascinating story. by the time I finally managed to get halfway through, I consistently watched the remaining episodes back to back. The fact that it was available in English dub on crunchyroll also really helped, that way I could do my packing for my vacation while watching it.
Its a great low key supernatural mystery anime. I say low key, because the supernatural aspect is sort of laid back? It's not an in your face over the top kind of supernatural, and it being supernatural is not even the main point of the show. Which is very nice. It's like a semi-natural action/mystery/supernatural anime. Further the characters and story lines are well put together.
All in all, I really like it and I'm going to keep watching. I don't know if it's something that I would necessarily be able to recommend, because that relies heavily on what kind of anime you would like. If you like semi-natural, complex, slow paced, laid back action/mystery/supernatural then you'll like this. But if you cant handle the slow pacing, or prefer more out of the above genres this is not one for you.
Dance in the Vampire Bund 8/6
I actually remember watching this anime, or at least i remember watching the first episode, back in middle school? Possibly? we either way, I loved the first episode, even re watching it now I still really enjoyed it, which was disappointing when the rest of the anime turned out to be so different.
In the show, vampires have just come out of hiding and declared their presence to the world. The princess of the vampires, and current ruler Mina, pays Japans debt and intends to use her political hold over the government to purchase an Island and have it become its own separate country designated only for vampires. Meanwhile Akira a highschooler who recently lost his memory finds out he and Mina have an important past that he cannot remember.
The problem that I have with this anime is that they try to mix a very 'young' or immature story line with a significantly more mature one. They try to mix a highschool vampire warewolf memory loss, basically everything that is the epitome of a bad pre-teen romance with mature themes such as the VERY heavy political aspect that takes up a good 50% of the anime. And not just government politics, but socio-historical political relations between different species and cultures. Don't get me wrong, its still a better love story than twilight, but the fact that it is a highschool love story pretty much ruins it for me.
I wouldn't recommend this, hell i didn't even have the will to finish the last few episodes. The political parts were great and fascinating, but the immaturity of how conflicts are resolved between the main characters is very disappointing. The show either tries too hard to appeal to an older audience, or tries too hard to appeal to a younger audience. Either way I didn't really like it.
Hyouka 8/2 TOP PICK FOR THIS MONTH!!
So the first thing i need to mention is that this show is first and foremost a slcie of life that happens to include a lot of mystery. Not a mystery that happens to be a slice of life. I originally thought it was the latter which was why I was disappointed that it didn't end the series with a mystery arc, but instead the way a slice of life would.When you acknowledge the show for what it really is, a natural slice of life, it is amazing. For numerous reasons.
First the artwork is so incredibly detailed and beautiful. Second the visuals are distinctly different for each thing ti tries to convey, and completely succeeds in doing so. The audio is amazing, the music is beautiful, the animation is so smooth and they even animate things that aren't necessary to the plot but are animated anyway to make it all feel so REAL. Not to mention the episodes and mysteries are so well written!
look at the incredible amount of detail they put into EVERY SINGLE SCENE.
even when the background is blurred!
even people who we never learn about or see again have details in their clothes, faces, and expressions. I checked, we NEVER see these people below actually interact with the main OR minor cast.
I almost forgot, this show is about Houtarou a high schooler that sees the world in 'gray'and whose motto is "If I don't have to do it, I won't. If I have to do it, I'll make it quick." Convinced by his already graduated sister, he joins the classics club which was endangered to be disbanded because there were no more members. He meets a girl named Eru who also joins the club and discovers that he has a knack for solving mysteries. That is, only when Eru earnestly goes to him and yearns for him to solve the mystery because her curiosity cannot be contained. From there they quickly discover that the classics club has a past shrouded in mystery.
Its incredibly well done, I love slow the pacing myself, because it fits the flow and nature of the anime. However I do have a number of issues with it myself (some reveal content spoilers so I won't state those here).  I admit that the way they ordered large mystery arch and single episode mysteries was not handled well at the very end. Don't get me wrong the ending fit the characters incredibly well and was very good and realistic, however considering the quality of the larger mysteries that were prevalent through the rest of the anime, I feel that they should have ended the series with a multi-episode arc and then one final single episode arc, rather than many single episode arcs strung together.  The anime was an adaptation of a light novel, which covered 4 out of the 5 published novels. I've taken a look at the titles of the chapters and it seems that the 5th book is quite the elaborate story. One I would have liked to have seen in the anime, though would clearly have gone over the 22 episodes the anime ended at. Perhaps since this write up for the episode is already so long, I will create a post just about this anime. It definitely deserves more talking about!
Anyway, I do recommend it to veteran-ed anime watchers. It has a wonderful pace that does not push by quickly, great character development and insight, and fascinating mysteries and dialogue regarding such. Its perfect for anyone who loves natural slice of life. Those who enjoy mysteries would also enjoy this, as long as they understand that it is mostly a slice of life, and thus will follow the format of slice of life and not the format of a mystery anime. Its a stunning anime.
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Nicole was born in San Jose, California, on September 10, 1994. She was Myna and Greg’s first child. Determined to raise her well, her parents showered her with love and attention whenever they were able to. Throughout her years as a toddler, she spent time playing endlessly with her mom and cousins. Since her parents were each the youngest of seven to eight siblings, Nicole had many cousins her age to play with. Additionally, being the newest addition of the younger generation of her parents’ families, her aunts and uncles were always thrilled to hold her and play with her.
 Things changed a few years later, when Nicole’s parents decided to have another child—Nicole was now an older sister. She had mixed feelings about this as a three year old, but overall, she was upset that she was no longer the center of attention. To make matters worse, it was time for her to start preschool. She feared being alone and couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that maybe her mom wouldn’t come back to pick her up after school. Maybe her mom would abandon her forever. The first few months were difficult for her. In fact, her teachers suggested to her parents that they try preschool next year. Despite their advice, her parents kept her in preschool. To their relief, things got better after a few months.
 After preschool, Nicole’s family moved to San Ramon, where they settled down so Nicole and her brother could continue with school. San Ramon was a newly developed area with a promising school system. Her parents were determined to ensure that she got an education that would carry her through her future career. Despite always being one of the youngest in her classes, Nicole excelled in elementary and middle school. Her teachers were consistently impressed by her “old, wise soul” and maturity. These comments only served as positive reinforcement to Nicole’s developing personality. She strived to be mature, wise, and smart. Little did she know, these skills would carry her far in life.
 Nicole’s parents wanted her to have a balanced life style, so they signed her up for the swim team against her will. Nicole dreaded team practice and meets because she felt insecure about her ability to swim. Her parents thought it was a valuable life skill and great exercise, but Nicole did everything she could to get out of going to swim practice. As she got better and made more friends on the team, she wasn’t as resistant about going, but did not truly enjoy it. A few years after she joined, she quit and joined a soccer team instead. Her best friend played soccer as well, but she was not able to join the same team because she was a young September baby and missed the age cut off. Though she was not great at soccer at first, she thoroughly enjoyed it and couldn’t wait to go to practice to learn new skills. She ended up playing soccer until high school.
 High school years were a time of inner turmoil for Nicole. A few of her close friends from elementary school had moved away. She couldn’t help but imagine what things would have been like if they had stayed. It wasn’t her place to resent them for leaving because she knew that moving wasn’t their choice. She knew that they would have stayed if they had the choice. This didn’t mean that Nicole did not have friends in high school. She had many friends—in fact, she was able to call at least five of them her best friends.
 Still, Nicole wasn’t truly happy. She wasn’t sure what had happened or how she had gotten there, but suddenly, she felt like she had trapped herself in a dark place. To hide this, she became obsessed with the idea of maintaining a façade of perfection. Nicole spent an incredible amount of time making sure her hair, makeup, nails, and outfits were perfect. She became very shallow and obsessed with her appearance; her hobby was to go shopping so she could stay on top of the latest trends. She was also a high achieving student, constantly taking challenging courses and studying day and night to get A’s; however, this did not mean that she didn’t have a social life. She was trying to do it all…but internally, she felt broken.
 Unable to admit to anyone that she was emotionally and psychologically struggling, she hid her demons and punished herself by restricting food. Every night, she wished that she would whither away. In the morning, she would find a way to skip school or go to school late so she could lie in bed crying, contemplating her life. Yet, no one expected this from her: she had many friends, boys liked her, she was a straight A student even though she was taking many honors/AP courses, and she looked happy on the outside. She didn’t know how it happened, but she knew it was happening.
 She was secretly broken all through senior year, went to senior prom in a beautiful fairy-like dress with the boy she liked, and was admitted into UC Berkeley. Little did she know, her life would change when she got to Cal. On the first day of school, she met a boy who she quickly fell in love with. They have been together for almost five years and counting! Her boyfriend, Jonathan, saw past her façade and could tell that she was struggling. In 2013, Nicole’s mother fell ill and had a rough recovery. Later, Nicole discovered that she was also susceptible to one day becoming ill like her mom. Though Nicole’s mom eventually fully recovered, Nicole lived in fear that one day, that would be her fate as well. Over the past few years, Jonathan taught her how to love herself and helped her out of the abyss that she had dug for herself. They went to their graduation ceremony together last year—a day that neither of them thought that they would ever get to see. She graduated with a B.A. in molecular and cell biology and is currently working towards applying to school to get her B.S. in nursing. After becoming an R.N., she plans to reunite with her boyfriend, who will be in law school.
My life through the lens of Developmental Psychology Theories
Much of my life development has been shaped by normative age-graded influences, which are experiences or occurrences that are typical for certain age groups (Santrock, 2015). Going to preschool for the first time was hard for me due to the fact that family members constantly spoiled me with attention. Going to preschool was a normal experience—all children must eventually leave their parents and enter a room full of strangers for a few hours. Psychologically, I was not used to being alone for extended periods of times. By alone, in this context, I mean having familiar faces out of sight. I was also a small child, and being younger than many of the children, I often felt too young to play with them or fearful that I would get hurt when they were playing roughly on the playground.
 In high school, my anxiety and depression-fueled eating disorder can also be traced back to normative age-graded influences (Santrock, 2015). At that age, I was going through puberty, which inevitably caused changes to my hormone levels and body. Every teen goes through hormonal and body changes during puberty, but some teens can handle it emotionally better than others. I believe that I was ill equipped to handle these changes because I was determined to be the perfect older sister: I wanted to be smart, have a great social life, and I wanted to be pretty. What teenager doesn’t? My friends were also pretty and excelled at school, so I felt like I could not be anything less. My desperation for perfection was just so intense that I needed an outlet for my anxiety and stress. On the inside, I was burned out from putting on a façade of perfection. Additionally, our culture undeniably places thin, beautiful, smart women on a pedestal. Weight-loss tips and diet plans permeated every magazine issue of Teen Vogue and Seventeen that I had. Because of this, I felt my desire to lose weight was only normal; however, what was not normal, was the fact that I was a thin person who wanted to lose weight by unhealthy means. In our culture, eating disorders were normalized: people in school, online, and on TV often joked about it. Among my peers, being anorexic became synonymous with being on a diet.
  When I found out that my mom and I both had a rare genetic disease, I could not help but feel angry at this nonnormative life event (Santrock, 2015). I constantly asked myself what the chances were that we would have this disease and spent many nights wondering, “Why me? Why us?” I felt afraid for the future, as it was unknown what my fate would be. I stayed up a night wondering if I would have children in the future. What if I passed my disease on to them too? Needless to say, it was an emotional stressor that I did not want to talk about with anyone other than my boyfriend, who was incredibly supportive about the situation. My mom, who spends a lot of time studying the Bible, reminded me that God has a plan for each one of us. After some time, I was able to find peace and grounded myself by trusting in God.
 My resiliency essentially saved my life: as morbid as it sounds, I could have ended my life years ago. Yet, there was something in my heart that told me to keep pushing forward. During my senior year, I was taking five AP courses and one honors course…all while battling crippling depression and anxiety. Though things got incredibly difficult, I wanted to be able to build a better future for myself. I knew that my hard work would eventually pay off, even if I never got out of my depressive state. I believe that the dark years of high school and saddening news in college were only learning experiences. Because my resiliency, I have learned how to better cope with my anxiety and stress.
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