#i wanted to say sorry too for just being the shittiest person i'm just so bad at this i'm sorry

[thef1diary]

Little Big Fan | M. Verstappen

Summary: A normal Tuesday becomes stressful when you lose your daughter in the grocery store, but then you find her with her favourite driver.

Warnings: none just fluff + max being the cutest with children.

Pairing: max x singlemother!reader (platonic ish?)

wc: 1.6k

Series Masterlist

You were strolling through the aisles in the grocery store. One hand pulling the smaller basket behind you while your other hand was held by your daughter, Isabella.

It was a normal Tuesday for your little family of two, shopping with your six year old daughter. Unable to say no whenever she picks up something and looks at you with the cutest pout.

During the ten minutes of shopping, it has happened twice so far. The first time it was a box of two-bite brownies that she was currently obsessed with, and the second time was chocolate chip cookies.

You continued walking through the aisle, sneaking a glance at Isabella every time she pointed at something and said "mama, look"

Everything was going smoothly, until you had to drop Isabella's hand to open the door to the refrigerator to grab yogurt for your little one.

"Bella, which one do you want?" You picked out two flavours that she liked, wanting to let her choose one but as you looked to your side, she wasn't there.

"Isabella?" You did a full 360 turn, in case she was attempting to hide behind you as she tried once before, but she wasn't there. That's when the panic started setting in.

Dragging your basket behind, you walked towards the nearby aisles hoping to find her. "Shit, shit, shit," you muttered under your breath because you couldn't find your little girl anywhere.

You truly felt like the shittiest parent in the world. Losing your child in the grocery store was something you never thought would happen to you, especially as Isabella was always right by your side. Today, you were proven otherwise.

Close to breaking out into a full sprint, you continued looking for her, becoming less and less aware of the people around you. You accidentally bumped into a few people, but you couldn't be bothered to look at them, only muttering an apology as you passed.

You almost skipped your gaze over her, but did a double take when you spotted her familiar glittery clips in brown hair that was the same shade as yours.

"Isabella!" You almost yelled, but thankfully the aisle she was in was nearly empty. Only one other person was present, crouched close to Isabella, who was speaking animatedly with grand hand gestures.

You immediately crouched down next to her, calling her name again and hugging her tightly.

"Mama, look!" Isabella spoke when you pulled away, not understanding the depth of the situation as she pointed to the man she was speaking to.

That's when you looked at him, wondering why Isabella was speaking to him, especially as she wasn't too outgoing. Sure she'd sometimes speak to strangers, but she wasn't the type to run away from you to do so.

You stood up, holding your daughter up on your hip and watched as the man also stood up. "Isabella, angel, what happened?" You were confused as to why she was so excited.

"It's Max! The race car one," Isabella spoke excitedly, and that's when it clicked for you. Due to her father's interest in the sport, it passed on to Isabella and she would ramble on and on about it whenever she'd return from her dad's house.

"Oh," you turned to look at Max, a sheepish smile making its way to your face. "I'm so sorry, I didn't even notice her leave my side." Frankly, you weren't sure if you were supposed to apologize but you knew that he was quite famous and possibly didn't want to be bothered.

He shook his head, “no worries, I should apologize for causing this,” he gestured to your daughter’s huge smile, excitedly moving around in your grasp.

He introduced himself to you, only realizing after that Isabella had already told you his name. You chuckled and told him your name, hearing him say it back to you.

“Mama, I told him that daddy and I watch him race,” Isabella told you, and you indulged in the conversation, knowing how much she loved watching Max on tv.

“Did you tell him how you’re a biiig fan?” You watched her nod eagerly, holding her hands far apart and telling Max, “this big!”

He chuckled, not seeming to mind the little girl interrupting his shopping trip. In fact, he was quite surprised when she first approached him, all shy then the outburst came out of nowhere once she confirmed it was Max, the racing driver.

The main reason why Isabella spotted him so easily was because he was in something similar to the blue and red clothes that she sees him wearing on tv, wearing a cap as well.

“And what about you, not a fan?” Max asked you, taking you by surprise as he initiated another conversation. You shrugged, “I don’t really watch but Isabella does when she’s at her dad’s.”

It was a common interest that the father-daughter duo shared, possibly the only one so you didn’t want to take that away from them.

Max nodded, understanding your specific choice of words saying “her dad’s” rather than “my husband” or something similar.

Just for that, knowing that you were a single mother, his appreciation for you doubled. Mainly because he judged you unknowingly when he spoke to Isabella and noticed the lack of any responsible adult around, not knowing that the little girl ran away from her mother.

“Daddy promised to take me to the track one day,” Isabella’s voice snapped him out of his little bubble, one in which he was only looking at you. He had to remind himself that you were only here because your daughter was a fan, not for any other reason.

You sighed internally, not really wanting to tell Max, your daughter’s favourite driver, that your ex had promised Isabella well over a year ago. It was a promise left unfulfilled for a while, and you didn’t have the heart to tell her that it may never be fulfilled.

However, even without words, Max seemed to notice your expression as you didn’t hide it well enough. He was quick to make a decision, and crouched a little lower to be face to face with your daughter. “How about you and your mama come see me at the next race?”

Isabella instantly looked at you with the same pout that always worked on you, but this time you really had to think about it. Your gaze turned to Max, “oh please don’t do what I think you are suggesting.”

Max’s smile only grew, “I am suggesting that I can send you two paddock passes for the next race.”

Your daughter happily bounced in your grasp and she was wiggling around too much for you to hold her still. Placing her down and holding her hand, you thought about Max’s suggestion.

“Do you want to go, angel?” You asked Isabella, already knowing that she would say yes. “Please mama, can we go? please, please, please.”

You chuckled at her excitement, nodding at her and looked at Max, “looks like the decision is made.”

“Good, I will be looking forward to seeing you both,” Max stated, but remembering an important detail, you blushed in embarrassment. “One question,” you started, watching him nod to let you continue, “when is the race?”

“Next weekend. How about I send you tickets for Saturday and Sunday, would that be okay?”

To think he was a famous athlete, you couldn’t believe his kindness. Sure, not all athletes were rude, and you didn’t have any previous experience but it was still surprising.

“Yes, that should be okay. Thank you so much for doing this.” He just shrugged, “it’s not a problem at all.”

Your daughter was getting restless now, already in the grocery store for a while now plus this conversation was going on longer than she thought.

Isabella managed to release her hand from your grasp, but you instantly noticed. A sheepish smile grew on her face and Max could notice the familiarities between mother-daughter. “Stay right here, Bella,” you tried a stern voice, something you weren’t used to, so she knew you were serious.

“Okay mama,” she nodded and walked to the basket you abandoned once you first spotted Isabella.

Max said your name, bringing your attention back to him. “She’s cute, how old is she?” He asked, watching Isabella play with the items in the basket.

“She’s the cutest six year old.” You two watched her with interest, but while your gaze was still on your daughter, Max’s gaze shifted to you.

“Oh, I was meaning to ask, I need your contact information for the passes,” he scratched the back of his neck while a small smile made its way on your face.

“Are you asking me for my number?” You teased him, unsure where the playfulness in the conversation came from but neither of you were opposed to it.

“Yeah, I guess I am,” he pulled out his phone, unlocking it and giving it to you. Once you handed it back to him, he chuckled when he saw the contact name you saved yourself as. Isabella’s mama

“So I guess I’ll see you soon?” You asked, having spent more than enough time in a grocery store but somehow not wanting to say goodbye yet. “Yeah, I’ll send you the details in a bit. Maybe I might just turn you into a fan?”

“We’ll see, Max, but no promises.” You chuckled, calling Isabella so she could say goodbye to Max.

She surprised you both by clinging onto his legs, and he quickly crouched down to give her a proper hug. “Bye Maxy.”

“Bye Isabella, I’ll see you soon!”

As you grabbed her hand and began walking away, Isabella turned around to wave at Max once again, making him chuckle but easily retuning the wave.

He stood there until you and your daughter were both out of sight. Then, he groaned once he realized that he still had a few more items to grab from his list before he could leave.

[ms-cartoon]

Sorry, but can I ask you a stupid question? I'm like a person who gets pissed off about b*tches-characters and I miss my late father because he treated me well… But why does Stella NOT piss me off at all, but I’ve hated Stolas since season 1, episode 2?

(I'm sorry to hear about your father!)

I kinda asked the same question myself when thinking about it, but it didn't take long for me to realize that Stella deserves better. I mean, there's no taking away the fact that she didn't put in any effort in the relationship, but here's the thing.

One main reason to not hate Stella is because her character is just done wrong.

For one, at the time ep 2 aired, it was completely understandable why Stella was enraged over what Stolas did. Bro cheated on his wife! Who on green grass would be okay with that if they were in her shoes???? And it wasn't like we could fully hate Stella. We weren't given much context to her relationship with Stolas (even now, there's still no context). Viv can't just tell us "Oh Stella never really cared about Stolas" without actually showing it. Plus if Stella really didn't care about the affair, she shouldn't have reacted the way she did.

And now that Viv finally showed how much Stella hates Stolas, it feels completely forced and out of nowhere. She's trying so hard to make Stella the villain so the audience would hate her guts. But it doesn't work like that! You can't just turn a character evil by making them hate the protagonist without giving much context about her past. You can't just force the evil psycho trait in a character since they were a kid just so you can avoid giving any history to them and make excuses for another character's actions so we could pity them.

Speaking of that, it's a valid reason to be pissed off at Stolas. He can do the most shittiest thing possible and will still be woobified and babied by, not just Viv, but the fans also. He cheats on Stella, which is wrong. Oh but wait! Turns out Stella never liked him and is evil, so the affair is completely justified. He's a terrible father, flirting with people in front of his daughter and neglecting her. Nope!! Let's figure out some way to make Octavia feel bad for being understandably mad at him and apologize cuz HE'S the one that screwed up.

Is uncomfortably flirtatious around Blitzo who is clearly uncomfortable, but let's make it to where Blitzo starts to like Stolas too to make the harassment okay. Plus let's also turn Stolas's lust into love cuz as it turns out, he was actually in love with Blitzo the whole time. (*cough* bullshit *cough*)

So yeah, I'd say those are some pretty fair reasons for these feelings. There's more too it, but this is just the main one. I also have plenty of other reasons Stolas is terrible if you want to give it a read: https://www.tumblr.com/ms-cartoon/718079858665783296/reasons-why-i-gradually-started-to-hate-stolas

[melishade]

Elita-1 and Megatron are gonna have to talk at some point and I imagine it going one of three ways:

-Elita giving Megatron an earful of why he's the shittiest person to ever exist and should just die already.

-Elita strikes Megatron at least once, like a slap or a punch, and says a sick burn that has everyone's jaw on the floor.

-Elita beating Megatron within an inch of his life, but only because Optimus stopped her from killing him.

Either way, Megatron's not getting out of this unscathed, and the Survey Corp will get a good show out of it.

Previous Episode of the Beloved Timeline

That one ask I did about Elita and Optimus

...Oh @justawannabearchaeologist! @echoblaze5! I'm bringing up the conversation we had! I was laughing so much over this topic with them when I brought it up and their comments were golden!

So we are going to pick up right where we left off where Elita decides to introduce herself to the Survey Corps. And while Optimus is fond of humans and Megatron hates them, Elita is definitely...in between those two options. Sure she gets that Optimus cares for them and wants to protect them, but they have tried to kill her in the past, and they look eerily similar to the titans that were outside the walls. She is also aware that Eren was the titan she tried to kill the night she found Optimus, and she doesn't really no about how helpful that's supposed to be? And on top of the fact that it's been 20 years since she's actually talked to a sentient being...

It's hard for her to make a good first impression on the Survey Corps, initially. They noticed that she is actively tense when introducing herself while trying to be as polite as possible. Some of the Survey Corps don't notice this, especially Hanji, as they are just asking her questions and are just so excited to meet this elusive Cybertronian. Levi picks up the fact that something is off because he has to know how to read people. Eren knows because she has a similar expression the night they first met: kind of tired but getting ready to defend herself.

But Hanji and a few others are asking her so many questions: What did she do on Cybertron before the war? How did she meet Optimus? What can she transform into? What's with the sword on her back? Elita is a little overwhelmed, but ends up talking about her role in overthrowing the Quintessons.

"What are the Quintessons?" Armin asked her.

"A giant, fused form of five helms, with tendrils, and they could fly," Elita explained as best as she could.

"Flying heads?!" Jean nearly gagged.

"Were they back to back or something?" Hanji asked in confusion.

"Actually, they were," Elita answered, "And they rotated to indicate which head was talking first...I'm sorry, is this too much?"

"No. No. Keep going. I am intrigued," Hanji smiled.

So now with Elita talking about her time overthrowing a tyrant allows for a little more bonding and puts Elita at ease and makes the Survey Corps think she's really cool. Levi doesn't know if he should feel relieved or annoyed that Optimus kind of looks like a love struck idiot. Well...considering what he had to deal with before their coup, it was probably better to have him happier for once. He needed it.

...And then Megatron makes the unfortunate miscalculation of showing the hell up. Because Megatron thought that Optimus might be alone at this moment to talk to him, but he underestimated that Elita would be willing to introduce herself to the Survey Corps today because she had been understandably standoffish. Now, Megatron is here. Elita is here. The Survey Corps is noticing that there's some tension in the air and Optimus is ready to jump in and intervene.

"Elita," Optimus warned her.

But Elita's sights are dead set on Megatron. And Eren is recognizing that look of murderous intent and also recognizing that look of fear on Megatron. No words are said in this moment, but the Survey Corps are surprised when Megatron's, the gladiator that fears nothing, takes a step back.

And it's enough for Elita to fucking rush him, pull out her sword, and tackle him to the ground! And the Survey Corps get front row seats to Elita's battle prowess and fury as she's throwing curse words in Cybertronian while giving Megatron a run for his money. Megatron is able to defend himself, but the Survey Corps sees that he's panicking. Optimus is trying so hard to break it up but he cannot get in the middle of this.

"Holy fucking shit!" Connie is laughing in disbelief.

"Should we...stop this?" Armin wasn't sure how to respond in this situation.

Levi placed a hand in front of Armin. "Fuck. No. Hanji, get my favorite wine."

"Ooo~. This must be a very special occasion," Hanji smiled with delight.

A few minutes later, Levi is just sipping wine with an amused smile while watching this shit go down. Hanji is furiously taking notes. Some of the Survey Corps are cheering Elita on with the others are making bets at how long Megatron can outlast Elita before Optimus can somehow break this up. Because Elita's been on her own for a while and has manifested that feral energy. On top of that, she literally went through hell because of Megatron. She despises him. With every fiber in her being!

Optimus has to beg Eren to help break up this fight because he can't do it on his own and Eren can regenerate! And Eren is just yelling 'Hell, no!' Eren is absolutely terrified of her. Eren is demanding Optimus just do it himself because he's that scared and Optimus is giving a look of 'Well how do you think I feel?!'

Eren does ultimately get involved and tackles Megatron out of the way of a killing blow while Optimus managed to physically restrain Elita. The Survey Corps do get a good look at Megatron's injuries and some do look fucking fatal, but Elita is still fighting against Optimus and is actually dragging Optimus with her as she tries to get to Megatron. Optimus tells Megatron to run, and Megatron has no choice but to fly away.

This is the best day of Levi's life. Nothing can top this.

Optimus lets go of Elita and forces her to look at now the air is tense, because the two are now arguing over something in their native tongue, no doubt about Megatron. The Survey Corps definitely do feel awkward about looking at this go down. They both seem to let it go for now, but it's still rather tense. And then Elita remembers the humans, and oh no they are probably scared of her now. She's ready to apologize but-!

"No," Levi spoke, holding up a hand in response, "Don't apologize for jack shit."

"You weren't-"

"Anyone who wants to kill Megatron like that is an ally in my book," Levi declared.

And the Survey Corps just like her even more now, which only confuses Elita even more, but she does give a rather subtle look to Optimus that clearly states they are going to talk later.

Later, Hanji can’t help but be so excited at all the new information that she’s learning today and won’t shut up about it. Money is being passed around in regards to the bet and Eren…can’t help but think back to the arguing and Elita’s hatred of Megatron. How big of a problem was that going to be?

And Optimus and Elita are having a heated discussion over it. Because Elita still cannot fathom the idea of working with him. Maybe when Megatron still held his ideals during his revolution, but not now. Not after poisoning the planet, messing with dark energon, and every single person that died because of him! Optimus has to reason with her about the few options that the island has for survival, but Elita retorts, knowing that even if Optimus has the resources, he still would’ve tried to appeal to Megatron. It does say a lot about Megatron’s character when the humans here are rooting for her to kick his ass!

And Elita is begging Optimus to not try this. Don’t try to appeal to Megatron because he’s rejected that hand in the past! He always has rejected peace! Why would Optimus even try? And Optimus tells her about Megatron saving Eren’s life. About how he chose to save the life of a human when he didn’t have to. And Optimus treasures Eren and it eats him up that he missed how distressed Eren was at all. And it’s a new revelation of Elita. Megatron saving the life of a species he thought was inferior.

Optimus solemnly asks her if she intends to leave because of this arrangement, and Elita is now angry at Optimus and grabs his face to force him to look her in the optics. She will not leave Optimus’ side. They are doing this together. But she is not going to be playing fair in any of this. She is not going to be nice to Megatron. She wasn’t going to forgive him. She will not be kind. He doesn’t deserve it. And Optimus needs to respect that because she needs a chance to process this. And Optimus does completely and apologizes about the circumstance.

Now Elita is extremely passive aggressive whenever Megatron was in the room. Her love for Optimus outweighs her hatred of Megatron. She doesn’t kill him, doesn’t injure him, but she does insult him and make threats. Levi and Elita have mutually beneficial hatred for Megatron and exchange insults to throw at him together.

(Thank you Justa and Echo for the commentary! Really helped when writing this!)

Also the vibe with Elita in this episode:

[seoafin]

when it comes to shiv i’m like in between thinking what happened was a better outcome for her or the shittiest one for her. sorry this is random. but like shiv didn’t intend to free kendall n roman she just did the younger sibiling thing (at least how i interpreted) and realized she couldn’t stand the idea of kendall getting it. when she rlly fucking wanted it. like she wanted it to be her or no one. especially as the only girl in a family full of boys you are never not competing like i so get her. so i think she’d rather tom have it cause it would mean by association she’d have it too. something how the only times she allowed power is through the men in her proximity idk. and i do think this in some sense is better for her cause kendall would’ve been a lose fucking cannon we constantly see him promise his sibilings stuff then rip it away from them. at least when tom is talking to hugo n asking for karolina we get a sense that they’re somehow aligned. especially knowing that hugo is kendalls dog and even tho if she just asked kendall to get rid of hugo he wouldn’t done so in a heartbeat. but that’s the thing she didn’t wanna ask. it just fucjing sucks that it HAD to be tom like i hate his ass. it sucks that the dynamic in her relationship ultimately changed like someone said she’s always gonna have an angry man in her house now. idk if tom yet is this amalgamation of her father that the general public has saddled her with cause he still has to answer to lukas n lukas told her point blank he wanted to fuck shiv n my mans just said sure dude whatver u want no it doesn’t bother me at all!! like i still tom is a pussy but i also know that money corrupts n chnages u so that very well could chnage. which is smt i think succesion banks a lot on the idea of giving u the now and letting u guess what happens in the future. i know i just sent a whole essay so i definitely care about shiv but i am to my core a roman girlie so it is kinda nice not to have a dog in this fight idk!!

SORRY THIS IS LATE I JUST SAW THIS

i actually disagree! i think shiv DID want to free kendall and also roman from the cycle of abuse and she did exactly that. i think the phrase that really sticks to mind is the i love you but i cannot stomach you quote from shiv to kendall. i think the saddest thing about it all is the fact that shiv is in the exact position she spent the entire show trying to avoid: being the wife and giving birth to a baby that will probably continue the cycle of abuse (and i think what hints at this is when roman says that shiv is the TRUE bloodline not kendall because kendall's kids aren't his). i honestly think it's a mix of the fact that she didn't want to give the position up to anyone AND she saw what it had done to the three of them. like i'm not going to say she was being entirely selfless but also i do think she loves kendall and roman. and in the ending you could say she's in a position in closest proximity to power in contrast to kendall and roman but it's not an enviable position. she's a mother and wife and that's all she'll ever be. tom is the man she wanted him to be. the man she tried to shape into. i think in a way it's a self fulfilling prophecy in regards to her and tom. also she was never going to escape unfortunately.

and YEAH i don't like tom i might even hate him but i can't even fault him every single person in this show absolutely sucks balls. Except Gerri. I forgive her crimes. She's so hot. like i can't even blame him for doing everything he could do rise to power. he's no different from kendall shiv or roman. he just didn't have nepo baby power. but yeah i think he and greg are two spineless pussies but so is everyone else LMAO

[variouslife]

Chris’s story from California

On May 1st, I gave a 2 weeks’ notice that I would withdraw from the Bangladesh plant. The Bangladesh factory, which was my first project, will be closed after 5 yeas of history. I had mixed feelings but was not sad. With the opening of the garment factory in Bangladesh, our company has grown significantly and is currently one of the top three clothing brands in the United States. Following in the footsteps of my father, who was considered a big player in the clothing industry, I also launched a fast fashion brand, and now I am continuing my successor classes following in my father's footsteps. The secret to my success was aggressive marketing. I was able to receive a lot of funding through my father's network. In addition, it was possible to make great profits by using the cheap labour force of Bangladesh. Perhaps it is not an exaggeration to say that I am the first person to start offshoring in Bangladesh.

"Mr. Welsh, the Bangladesh plant manager is calling."

"Can you let him know that I'm out and that he should call me back in an hour? I had bad sleep and gotta get some coffee now"

"Would you like to get the same thing? I will go get it for you."

"I need fresh air. And I need to call my wife too. So I will be back in 1 hour."

I know what the Bangladesh plant manager will say. He is probably shocked to hear that the factory will be closed. I'm sure that he will complain… I'm not in the mood to listen to such complaints right now because there is a more important issue than that. On my way to buy coffee, I called my wife.

"Hey, it is me. How is Josh doing now?"

"He has calmed down a lot. He ate a little while ago and fell asleep."

"Did you tell him about the hospital?"

"Yes.., but he stubbornly refuses to go to the hospital."

"You have to convince him somehow. Josh has to grow into a man who will inherit my business and this whole group. I can't let him live with being labelled a drug addict. If he does, it will affect the image of our company."

"…. Ok… I'll talk about it.. just give Josh a little more time"

"…I don't understand. What is wrong with him … I'll tell Dr. Harold anyway, so we should send him to the hospital and he needs to start treatment for drug addiction quickly.."

After the phone call with my wife, I started getting more headaches. I did everything for my only child, but he shakes his life with the cheapest and shittiest drugs… it was so insignificant.

"Welcome back Mr.Welsh. The Bangladesh plant manager is waiting for your call."

"He really bothers me. Call Dr. Harold first and ask if he is free this evening. Make an appointment for dinner. Place as usual. And tell me that it's urgent."

"Copy that."

“And connect me to the factory manager.”

(RING…)

"Hello, Mr. Welsh. Hope you are doing well. I was told that our factory will shut down soon. We have more than 1000 people working and everyone takes care of their family. We can't survive without this job. Please reconsider this issue."

"… Well… I did everything based on the contract. If you want to complain, sue us. But be prepared with good lawyers."

"No, no, no! Mr. Welsh. I'm sorry if it sounds like a complaint. I didn't mean it. I do apologize. I just hope that you consider our workers a little more. That's it"

“Do you know that I've been running the factory for the past five years? You don’t think I didn't consider employees? Factory evacuation will go ahead as scheduled. I have nothing more to hear from you, so I'm hanging up."

His calls made my headaches even worse. I should've not answered the phone… I’m sometimes too nice.. whatever, I need to focus on Josh and the next project for now.

[twistedthings]

Tonight had been a win in the ring but somehow Brody felt like he had lost and he almost dropped his head in defeat before Brooke took hold of his hand to gently interlace their fingers, not giving him the chance to close in on himself. His blue eyes were sharp, one surrounded by a nice bruise and a cut above it on his eyebrow but the pain was nothing, he was nearly numb to it, the adrenaline from the fight and then the argument with Brooke still making his body run hot and null to the pain. But not the pain from knowing that what Brooke had said was true and he was so fucking pathetic for letting himself get hurt just for the sake of hurting. Where else was he supposed to put his rage? That self-hatred which was fueled by years of verbal abuse from his father. He didn't say anything else as she swore she didn't want to hear him admit what he had and now that the full weight of what he'd said registered in his jostled, battered brain Brody didn't want to open his mouth again to let more unfiltered truths out.

So he just complied, like a scolded dog following its owner home after escaping the backyard. His eyes didn't dare to drift away from Brooke as she led him back to the locker room where they met little resistance to their entry, thankfully, Brody wasn't sure he could face or speak to anyone else just yet. Still astonished that he'd said what he had, the walk back to the lockers was just a transition and before he knew it Brody was obediently lowering himself to the cool metal bench in between the lockers nearest the door. His eyes still followed Brooke as she went over to fetch the first aid kit and only then did his brain catch up to the moment. That numbness taking over most of his body and mind.

His eyes tracked Brooke like before but less as a fighter and more observant, thoughtful, pondering on the feelings that were clawing at his chest, begging to be let out. He'd been holding onto his feelings for her, keeping them back because when it came right down to it, Brody knew he didn't deserve Brooke. Not as a friend and certainly nothing more than that. But she'd made her way under his skin and into his life and not without efforts to dissuade on his part. He'd met her with resistance and tried to show her just how terrible of a person he could be but it didn't seem to matter, she was still there for him. Even after all their arguments and the moments when he gave her so much grief, Brooke was still fucking there for him. Brody didn't really flinch or wince as she started to dab gently at the cut above his eye as he let them search her face thoughtfully. The sudden urge to let his hands run up her legs to take hold of her hips and draw her closer was sudden and made him ache in a way he didn't expect. Perhaps it was the intrusive thought that he could lose her, that she might walk away, he knew she should, every relationship he'd ever had ended in pain for everyone involved and he refused to let Brooke become one of those casualties.

"You're too good to me, Brooke," he spoke finally, his voice low with an emotion he didn't expect, Brody's throat bobbed as he swallowed and he dropped his eyes from hers to glance to the side. "I'm literally the shittiest, most stupid person sometimes and you're still here, taking care of my dumbass." He frowned and glanced back up to meet her gaze, one brow arching. Her admission to him being such a great fighter made his heart flutter with a sense of pride but it only lasted a moment, self-doubt too thick in his veins to allow any happiness to form from her words. Brody sighed and let his face relax into Brooke's hold, his tongue rolling out to wet his lips before he dragged the bottom one between his teeth for a couple seconds. He wanted to say that he didn't know why he did what he did either but the truth was just too pathetic in his eyes to admit. "I know you weren't trying to insult me... I just, chose to take it the wrong way, I'm sorry... I'm sorry for tonight and every night I made you watch me pull the same shit..." Regret was threatening to take him to places he didn't want to be so Brody took another breath and exhaled it through his nose, closing his eyes and just sitting there for a few minutes with his mouth shut so he could filter through what he was feeling.

The fear, frustration and adrenaline were a volatile combination swirling around in Brooke's body after watching Brody's fight, leading the blonde to lash out with her words without even taking a minute to realize how her comments were coming across. Brooke could tell by the look that hung heavy on Brody's features and the slight tremor in his voice that she had hurt him, even without meaning to. That thought alone felt like another punch to the gut, one that was akin to the actual blows Brody had just endured in the ring only several minutes earlier. She never wanted him to see her as the enemy, not when she cared about him even far more than he probably realized.

The truth Brody admitted had Brooke's throat tightening. She knew that was the case, but hearing it from his mouth and the pain in his tone made it so much worse. " Of course that's not what I want to hear. " Brooke's expression softened, eyes nearly pleading with him to stop down this path of self-destruction. She didn't know how to make him see that it led nowhere good. Tears threatened her vision again, along quick with the realization that this was not the time nor the place to show any sort of vulnerability. Not for her and certainly not for Brody either, especially with so many potential opponents and betters around, all with very watchful eyes. " Come with me. " Brooke urged, reaching for his hand and gently curling her fingers in-between his, careful to avoid the knuckles that looked bruised or swollen. Moving at a pace slower than what she would walk on any normal day, obviously for his sake, Brooke guided Brody towards the back locker room, hoping they would make it there without consequence and even more so, that they would have some privacy when they got there. Thankfully, it was deserted. With all the commotion going on inside the actual gym, it was no wonder why.

" Sit. " Brooke gestured with her chin towards one of the benches not littered with dirty clothes or fighting gear as she headed towards a first aid kit hanging on the far wall. Carrying it back to where Brody had seated himself, she busied herself for a moment by familiarizing herself with the contents. Tearing open an alcohol swab, Brooke eased herself between Brody's partly spread legs. Gingerly taking his chin between her fingers, Brooke tilted his face up towards her, a sad sort of smile ghosting her lips, eyes lit with its usual fond tenderness when looking at him. "You know I wasn't trying to insult you out there, right ? " With feather-light movements, she began to dab at the split skin above his eyebrow oozing with fresh blood. Brooke didn't need to warn him it would sting. It wasn't like he didn't already know that. And given what he just faced in the ring and subsequently admitted to her about wanting the pain, Brooke didn't think the slight burn would even phase him. " You're one of the best fighters I've ever seen, Brody. Truly. " She added quietly, intentionally avoiding the male's gaze as she focused on cleaning the most prominent wound on his face. " I just hate watching you hurt yourself for nothing... I don't understand it. "

[maibi]

Last Time

Gojo Satoru x reader

Summary: after your break-up with Gojo you go to his apartment, which you used to share, to get all your stuff. But you thought you were doing bad, until you saw him. 

A/N: this was gonna be angst with a very bad ending, but while writing I was hurting myself so I decided to make it a little less shitty T_T I'm so pussy wtf (it’s still kinda sad)

——————————————————————————

It’s been a month. A month after your break up with Gojo. You had been together for almost 5 years and leaving each other may have been one of the hardest decisions. But you had no choice. You had to in order to be able to leave it there. You need to start anew, you had to leave it there in order to live your life. Even though you still loved each other, it felt like the best option, at least for you.

In order for you to be able to live independently, to make your own money you had to take the job offer overseas. But Gojo had to stay there, for his students. And you didn’t want to make it any harder for him. His students needed him and you knew for a fact that he needed his students. His students were amazing and taking Gojo away from them would only hurt everyone.

In those 5 years of being together you had been living together for almost 3 of them. After the break-up you hadn’t returned to that home, staying at a friend’s place that was barely ever home. You needed to get your stuff, but it all still felt so sad. You couldn’t bring yourself to, but you had to stand strong. You had texted him, telling him you’d get your stuff. You filled your car with boxes to help you move out your stuff and while you drove to your shared apartment. Or at least what was your shared apartment.

You stayed in your car while being parked, fiddling with the ends of your shirt. You picked your nails and your mind was thinking about so many things at the same time. You didn’t know how you’d approach him and you didn’t know how in the world you would pull yourself together. You were still not over him and only thinking about the fact that he might be will just ruin you. 

With a sigh you stepped out of your car and took a few of the boxes that you could carry to Gojo’s door. You knocked on the door and silently prayed that he wasn’t home. Everything would have been easier if you still had a key, but with you rushing out you left yours with him. 

Your head shot up when the door was opened. You were greeted with a sleepy Gojo. His hair was tousled and his shirt was wrinkly and pulled down so much that his collarbones were visible. You looked away and couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. 

“Hey”, he said in low voice, almost inaudible. “Uh- come in”, he said.

You wanted to pick up the boxes, but he beat you in doing so. He took all of them inside for you, but didn’t say another word. You stayed at the entrance of the living room while he walked in and placed the boxes on the ground. 

You saw take out food and cup noodles and it made you wonder if he had been eating properly. He looked skinnier, as if he wasn’t before. The house wasn’t a mess, but it wasn’t that clean either. It made you wonder if he had been taking care of himself. 

He saw you staring at the table and immediately cleaned up any evidence of take out food. “I haven’t had the time to clean up yet”, he said to you with a sad expression as he walked to the kitchen.

You couldn’t emotionally take this and just wanted to leave. If you saw him like this for even more than a second you knew you’d change your mind, but you couldn’t. You had to do what was for the better, he could easily find someone new, that’s how amazing of a person he was.

“You can come in you know, I don’t bite”, he said as he walked back in the living room. 

You took a step forward and felt the tears in your eyes sting. You really did love him and leaving like this really hurt you. “I’ll start with the bedroom”, you said as you took a box and walked to the bedroom.

You opened the door and looked at the oh so familiar room. It felt like it had been untouched since the day you left, but the changed sheets told you otherwise. His scent filled your nose and you just wanted time to stop right there. 

You walked in further and saw that he hadn’t touched any of your stuff. You noticed that one of your shirts was on the bed, on his side and you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking that he probably did the exact same thing as you. You had left this place with only a few clothes and you say you had one of his shirts on your side of the closet and you took it with you.  Even though his scent had worn off, you slept with it almost every night. How childish it may sound, it calmed you. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to pack up any of this. You sat down on the bed, looking around you. A tear rolled down your cheek. This wasn’t supposed to be this dramatic. You had thought to yourself.

“Can I come in”, you heard Gojo say from the entrance. 

You shot your head to the side, wiping away a tear. You nodded.

He sat down next to you, but left enough space between you. Was it strange that you wished he didn’t? But he thought you just needed space from him. He didn’t know about the whole new job thing. You thought it would have been better if he didn’t know. Because if he did, he would consider leaving with you. And like you thought before, you couldn’t do that to his students. 

“I see you didn’t touch any of my stuff”, you said, not looking at him.

“I mean, how could I?”, he said. “I still love you after all.”

“Don’t say that”, you said in a whisper while dropping your head..

“Why? Will it make you change your mind?”, he asked in a low tone. 

you shook your head. It just made you feel guilty. Which you actually were. You stood up from your place and walked to the desk that was in front of the window. There was a picture of you and Gojo. The picture both of you loved so much. The two of you on the beach, you knew it was cliche, but you sill loved it very much. A stranger took that picture and you can’t forget about how amazing that day was.

“Was it something I did?”, Gojo asked.

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t bring yourself to. You weren’t used to seeing him like this. So vulnerable, so sad. You thought he would be over you, but he seemed to be doing worse than you. The bags under his eyes and his slightly pale skin made you think that perhaps leaving him wasn’t the right decision to make. But you needed this job. 

“Just please tell me what went wrong”, he said. “I really can’t do this anymore.”

You didn’t say a word back at him. You were scared that if you kept talking that the both of you would just break down. You knew for yourself that you where on the edge, but you could tell he was too. 

“I just don’t understand what went wrong. Was it something I did? Cause if it was-”, he said stopping mid way to take a deep breath, “-just please tell me what it is that I did wrong so I can make it up to you. I can’t loose you.” He said the last in a whisper. 

Tears formed in your eyes. You were scared that if you talked right now, you wouldn’t be able to hold your tears in front of him anymore. 

“For god’s sake just say something. anything”, he said louder now. “I can’t do this anymore, just please-!”

“Don’t yell at me”, you said in a whisper; “Please don’t yell at me.”

Tears were falling from your eyes and they didn’t stop. He was silent for a moment and started mumbling to himself. Blaming himself again. You heard him walking up to you, but you didn’t turn around just yet. You waited to see if he would do anything, but he didn’t. So you turned around and the second that you did he slowly pulled you in his embrace and placed his head on your neck. 

“I’m so sorry. I know- I know I can be a dick from time to time and I know that I get cocky. I know I'm not the best human in the world, but please at least allow me to try and change. Please just- please just don’t leave me like this”, he said as his voice cracked in the end. 

“I’m sorry, Satoru. I really, truly am. But this isn’t about you, this is mainly about me and my decisions. I-” You wanted to say it to him, you wanted to tell him you still loved him, but telling him right now might just ruin everything. 

“I can’t live without you. I really truly can’t. This was the shittiest month I've ever had and I can’t stop thinking about you. Just please, don’t leave my side.”

“I don’t have a choice, Satoru”, you said, in a whisper while your tears were falling falling from your eyes on his shirt. You could smell him and his sweet scent made you cry even harder. This was the last time you would be able to be this close to him, this was the last time he would touch you and this was the last time he would be talking to you like this. Because you were leaving and nothing was stopping you. 

[fictiophillia]

the INTJ post was really so good 🥺🥺🥺 could you would you write a mammon and INTP? 💕

a/n: First of all thank you for your request!!! And I'm glad you liked it, hope you like this one too HSJAKSHKAJSHSJAKSHJA I actually almost made the other INTX because I was talking with an INTP friend and she also likes Mammon, he also agreed that INTJ and INTP are pretty similar, in the end I decided to keep it INTJ but I'll be more than glad to do an INTP one!! ❤️

If this is too short you can always request this same request but with scenario specified :)

Mammon x INTP reader

warnings : later there's smut, I'll warn tho (includes dom! top! reader) amab reader hinted.

gender : neutral

First off all, he admires you.

He thinks you're very smart and loves hearing you talk about something you like.

And then you're also kind??

Nah bro he's simping already

He hates that you don't get his hints that he likes you.

As if he wasn't the same 🙄🙄

But he loves how affective and kind you are with him so <3

Anyways you could be wearing literally anything and he would still think you'd look stunning.

"YA KILLIN' IT HUMAN!!"

"THANKS BABE YOU TOO"

Like

And he thought >he< was the model

You're just perfect in his eyes

Doesn't matter your gender, height, weight.

For him you're the personification of the emoji "✨"

He loves your smile. Please smile. He wants to see your smile. So smile for him.

And- not even a smirk like in the previous post, no, a mf sincere smile that only in you looks so pretty.

As if you're personality wasn't enough to make him fall in love-

He also loves your humor

Literally you could make your shittiest joke and he would still crack up.

"Does anyone have sunscreen??"

"No I don't like the way it tastes."

"Wait you eat sunscreen?!"

"No why would I eat it I just said I don't like how it tastes!"

It's just funny how you're like

"God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us?"

Meanwhile hes just like

"I'm gonna start a band specifically to start a romance within it that then ruins the band"

You both have similar energies and are almost as energetic too.

"Yo mammon would you rather fight a hundred toddlers or-"

"I wanna fight the toddlers."

"I didn't get to finish?????"

"Those toddlers are getting SMACKED-"

"goodnight human, Love ya <3!!!!"

"goodnight.

❤️"

"OI! You were supposed to say it back >:("

"oh

I sent a heart tho"

Do him hard, praise him while you wear your usually calm-but-kind-of-energetic face, it'll make him feel so many mixed emotions.

Good emotions tho dw.

He'd be cumming in a minute-

Every touch you give him just gives him chicken skin 🐔🥺 (JOKE BC IT'S HOW WE SAY GOOSEBUMPS IN PORTUGUESE/SPANISH)

Honestly he doesn't even know if he wants to dom or not-

Like, in the intj version I said he would be very submissive, breedable and "yes PARENT-"

But with an intp I see him actually just being like that one vibe

"*carrying an onion* ANYTHING FOR YOU BEYONCÉ!!!!"

Except instead of Beyoncé it's you.

simp 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Like I said before you could be in a hoddie, pajamas, tracksuit, wrapped up in a tortilla blanket and he would find you drop gorgeous.

"Look at you so beautiful under me... always trying to brease me- sorry I meant please me, it was my colorblind ass talking."

What does even colorblind have to do with that?? Neither of you know.

Also that just ruined the whole mood because you're both laughing your asses off.

Or maybe not 👀

"M-mammon calm down you're squeezing me too much..."

Now you're both are still horny AND in a happy mood.

Aw look too crackheads in love 🥺 /hj

Maybe, just maybe it improved the mood.

And maybe you two didn't stop there.

But you definitely calmed down.

Just don't crack a joke every time you too fuck 😭

" ooo you two are always according to each other, you must be into soms kinky stuff at night~ I wonder what the weirdest/kinkiest would be—"

"So Mammon brings his book of anecdotes and I read some."

" ...he brings.... a book of anecdotes..?..."

"Yeah, searching them up online takes too much, then we would have to get hard again-"

" ..... I'm not going to question it anymore."

He pants hard under you, never loosing either intensity or speed of your trusts.

He arched his back, he was close, but so were you.

You hold his hands each one at a side of his head, you both locking fingers and sweating, the only sounds being skin slapping and unsteady breaths.

"Y-ya know.... *pants* ya looked so hot today I almost couldn't get a hold of myself at dinner.... Ya really do look like one of those super hot models.... and those new pants... ya should be careful bein' here around me like that or else I could faint~"

"......... sO I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE BECAUSE I'M DRESSED LIKE A HOOKER-"

You both wheezed to death.

The end.

[poisonmaximoff]

BELATED FATE (Elizabeth Olsen x FemReader).

The whole story: here.

Chapter 7. Here for her

Y/n's POV:

It's Monday again and I have to be ready by 1 p.m., so I could leisurely get to the place. It's already 12:30 and I just woke up recently because I spent half of the night learning all possible information about the upcoming charity event and then making up fake scenarios inside of my head. Shit. It's way too important day to be late, couldn't I do all of this earlier?

Having somehow gathered myself and not having enough time to eat something, I ran out of the apartment and headed for the parking lot. I was about to start the car, when I heard my phone ringing.

"Yes?" I immediately answer, simultaneously trying to catch my breath.

"Y/n, are you okay? You should be there by now, do you have any problems?" Elizabeth's worried voice makes me feel so ashamed of myself, that I want to be buried alive right now. I'm letting her down again because of my damn irresponsibility.

"I'm so sorry, I'm already on my way, just had some trouble waking up" I know that it's the shittiest excuse I could ever have, but I'm just unable to lie to her, so I tell her everything as it is.

"Trouble waking up? Are you feeling alright?" Surprisingly, I don't run into a raised tone or her annoyance. On the contrary, her voice is still a bit worried and I involuntarily begin to wonder how I deserved such a good attitude towards myself.

"Yes and I promise to explain everything to you later. I'll be right there in 20 minutes" I quickly answer and say goodbye to her, not wanting to linger any longer.

Along the way, I ignore the speed limits and a few red traffic lights. I won't be surprised if I get in trouble after that, but my current desire to be on the spot as soon as possible overshadows all of my adequate thoughts.

Fortunately, I didn't get into any additional troubles, mentally thanking all the existing supreme forces for the fact that my black streak in life didn't begin today. Judging by the number of people and someone's loud voice in the speakers, everything has already begun. Among a bunch of people in exquisite clothes, I try to find only one person who I know is waiting for me. Being too busy looking for one and only emerald eyes in the crowd, I accidentally bump into a handsome tall man. Raising my head, I meet the already familiar piercing gaze, that looked me up and down.

"Miss Y/ln, I didn't expect you to be here today too. Did your parents take you with them?" Mr. Holbrook asks not hiding a hint of mockery in his voice. To be honest, I'm already used to his obvious "special" attitude towards me, and I try not to pay any attention to it.

"Mr. Holbrook, what a pleasant meeting!" I say pretending that I didn't hear his last sentence. "I'm actually looking for Miss Olsen, have you seen her already?" Maybe he can at least be useful and help me find her.

"Oh, she's with her brother near the stage now. At least I saw her there couple of minutes ago" he says, still looking at the parts of my body without even hiding it. I always feel disgusted around men like him because I can't do anything about the way they treat women and they know it very well. But deciding not to spoil my mood with reflections on injustice, I just quickly thank him and head to the stage.

As if sensing that I'm approaching her, she distracts from talking with people, meets my eyes and heads towards me at a quick pace. I slow down because I'm afraid to face her disappointment at me being late. But...

"Hey, Y/n, thank god you're finally here" she says hugging me and I'm literally dumbfounded by her action, but still automatically put my hands on her back to return the hug. Since when she...?

"Did you finish our presentation? I need a flash drive with it now." Oh, that's what it's about. She was worried about our work and not about me. Well, phew, it's even good.

"Of course, here it is" I hand her a small device and smile a little guiltily.

"Come with me, I have to give it to the event hosts." I follow her to a group of people with whom she exchanges a couple of phrases and gives them a flash drive.

"Thank you, Lizzie, the more emotional speech you say, the more donations we'll get" some red-haired man winks at her and goes to the backstage. Okay, that was weird. Me and El share a confused look at each other and when I'm about to ask her what was that, I hear someone's low voice behind us.

"Hello, ladies" Boyd's clearly slightly drunken voice speaks to us. Elizabeth's eyes instantly widen and the shocked expression in the matter of seconds is evident on her face.

"Bo? Are you kidding me? We've been there for an hour and you already managed to get drunk during the charity event?" I wish I wasn't a witness of this situation, but it's too late to take and abruptly leave right now, so I keep awkwardly standing there.

"We've only raised our glasses to the health of the children a couple of times, I promise I'm perfectly fine and in control of myself." Well, it's fair enough to say, that he's actually okay, but Elizabeth seems to see everything ten times worse than it really is.

"Do you even hear yourself?" It obviously upset her a lot more than it should have, and to be honest, I hate seeing her like this. She glances at the people passing by, then at me, and continues: "I'll talk to you later, because now I have to go and prepare for my speech. Try not to embarrass yourself in front of the guests." As much as I liked Elizabeth, it was a bit rude and unfair. Now it's my turn to share a surprised look with Boyd as she walks backstage.

"Is she often like this?" I can't resist asking the man about it.

"No, it's the first time I see her like that." He's as much confused as I am. "But it's probably because of all the workload. We are now have to think about the wedding, and about our work at the same time." I'm starting to get used to the thought, that Elizabeth is getting married and now it doesn't even affect me as much as before.

I never thought, that someday I'll be having a conversation with Boyd Holbrook, but nevertheless we managed to made a small talk until it was Elizabeth's turn to speak.

The speech she's giving right now is truly beautiful, and it makes me involuntarily think that she is the definition of beauty. And not the one we see on social media, but something special. She is beautiful both outside and inside. The way she sincerely cares is so evident in her words and I can't help but admire her. By the end of her speech, she becomes visibly emotional, her voice cracking and a couple of tears escaping her eyes.

As soon as she finishes and the crowd begins to applaud her amazing performance, I immediately run backstage, unable to resist my urge to calm her down. I run my eyes over everything and everyone, but I can't find her anywhere.

"Excuse me, where did Miss Olsen go?" I ask a random guy who's holding a microphone.

"I think she went towards the exit to the outside." I hurriedly thank him and follow the direction he pointed his finger in.

Opening the door, I find myself in the fresh air next to some kind of parking lot. "El?" I say almost in whisper, seeing the woman with her back turned to me. As I get closer, I hear small sobs and my heart clenches at the thought of her having a literal mental breakdown in the empty parking lot with no one here to comfort her. Or maybe she needs to be alone right now? There's only one way to find out.

"Hey, El" I say a bit louder startling her as she turns in my direction to see the source of the sound.

"Y/n? What are you doing here?" I watch her chaotically wipe her eyes from tears, ruining her mascara even more.

"I just noticed how much your own speech affected you, so I had to make sure that you're okay...Hey, stop doing it" I slowly remove her hands from her face, stopping her clumsy movements.

Her current look is truly heartbreaking. One day we were talking about children and I found out that she really loves them. Therefore, such kind of events definitely don't leave her unconcerned. "Do you want to talk about it?" I still didn't let go of her hands, rubbing small circles over her skin with my thumbs in a soothing manner.

"It's just...In the last few days I was feeling so stressed, everything was too much and I didn't know where to escape from it. And today..." she breaks off into a soft sob, "I'm trying to do my best to help these kids, knowing damn good, that a lot of people there don't even care and only came here to show off or maintain their reputation." Now tears are running down her cheeks in a steady stream and she starts to completely break down right in front of me.

"Come here, El, come to me" I open my arms for her to hug me and put my right hand on her cheek trying to wipe her tears away. I notice her leaning into my touch and start rubbing my other hand over her back to calm her down a bit. She hugs me so tightly that her emotions seem to be transmitted to me through physical touch and I begin to feel the same as she does. But right now I have to be here for her and comfort her as much as I can. That's why I try me best to suppress my own need to cry with her and whisper small "it's okay, just let it go" in her ear.

If I could absorb everything she feels right now, I wouldn't even think twice. The evidence of her tiredness, frustration and sadness is now soaking into the collar of my blouse, but I don't even care. The only thing I can think about is giving her everything she needs right now. I can feel her hands periodically grabbing my clothes tightly, when particularly hard sobs leave her mouth and I suppose it's her way of comforting herself. When I occasionally touch her hair, her body seems to relax a bit and her shaking subside little by little. It's like I subconsciously know what tiny things can calm her down.

I can't say, that her state right now is something completely unexpected to me, because I've already come to terms with the fact that she mixes two different personalities in herself and I know for sure that the person that is now in front of me is more sincere than ever. I actually see her as a powerful woman, definitely mentally stronger than me, but sooner or later everyone needs to share an excess of emotions with someone.

I don't know if it's a simple coincidence that I ended up in the right place at the right time, or she chose to trust me with her feelings. But anyway I feel a huge responsibility for that and I will do everything to justify her trust.

Soon she begins to come to her senses and gradually weaken her desperate grip on me. Feeling that now I can talk to her and she will be able to understand what I mean, I slowly move away from her and take her hands in mine again.

"I'm so proud of everything you do every single day. You're a fighter, you're a role model and an actual ray of light in this bunch of fake people. Your sincere desire to take care of everyone in the world truly amazes me and your efforts definitely don't go unnoticed. I can imagine how hard it is to live in constant stress and worries that you're not doing enough. But trust me, you're more than enough and you will always have people, who support and appreciate you. The rest just don't understand how lucky they are to have you in their lives."

I finish my improvised speech before I went too far with my personal feelings towards her. The last sentence definitely was the beginning of it and now I'm so grateful for stopping myself from going further. The last couple of tears slowly trickle down El's cheeks, and I gently wipe them away with my thumb, hoping that I've done enough for her to calm down a bit.

"Thank you so much, Y/n. I don't know how I would be able to go back there in the state I was in, and I'm sorry you had to see me like that." I frown at her words, thinking she already regrets opening up to me. "Somehow you knew exactly what I needed and now I feel much better. I'm glad it was you who approached me." I let out an imperceptible sigh of relief which I didn't know I held.

"It's okay, El" I softly smile at her and she smiles right back at me. The feeling of joy fills my chest due to the fact that she feels better now. We stand in comfortable silence for a couple more minutes before I offer her to fix her makeup in the bathroom and we decide to go back inside.

[soft-sapphic-love]

hey... this may sound like an odd question but... is it ok to want to be feminine? cos like... behaviorally im more femme than not, and im most comfortable in like masc ish clothing, but some days i just wanna be pretty and feminine to the max, like heels and dresses and nails and jewellery and all that jazz... but...

well ig im asking becauee i asked on another different blog and they literally said i was contributing to the continuation of the patriarchy and male supremacy and the oppression of women, that i was acting in subserviance to men by choosing to dress in a feminine way, and that i was harming other women by presenting myself as what men desire and dressing in a way that make men see women as lesser or as objects. they kept asking why i would ever do such a thing to myself and that i should free myself from patriarchal ideas by dressing for comfort and not for men or their sexual gaze...

ik its alot and it shocked me and hurt me... like very badly. id never mentioned that it was because of men in my ask but thwy just assumed. after, i started feeling awful about myyself and what i wanted to do with myself. i panicked and unfollowed the blog, I don't remember what it was called, but the hurt and ig trauma from what they said to me is still in the back of my mind.

so i just need to know... am i... wrong for wanting to be feminine? i thought it was ok but... idk anymore. idk if this is the right blog to ask about this but... do you have any advice? im sorry if this isnt the right kind of ask or if its too much.

okay anon: know that right now, i am giving you a giant hug, because the person who said that to you is the shittiest person in the world.

femininity is beautiful. it is wonderful, complex, personal, and it is absolutely not "contributing to the patriarchy" to recognize that. you know what is contributing to the patriarchy? saying that something associated with women is shameful, like they were doing when they said that to you.

defining the validity of femininity based on what men think is more harmful than enjoying femininity. what sexist men think is irrelevant. what you want is what matters: does femininity make you happy and make you secure in yourself? if the answer is a genuine yes, then you have your answer: that's what matters.

right now i'm telling you: femininity is wonderful. you are wonderful. it is awesome that it makes you happy and you don't need to prove to anyone that you're not feminine for the "wrong reasons". you don't owe anything to the patriarchy, and enjoying yourself can't possibly contribute to something that thrives off fear and hatred.

i went through a whole phase of hating being a girl, and with that i also hated things associated with femininity. i thought i was better than other girls because i wasn't into pink things or "girly" things. the best thing that happened to me was growing out of that. caving into what you think sexist men want will always be more harmful than genuinely enjoying the things sexist men typically want. you're enjoying it for your sake, not for them. they don't want you to enjoy yourself. misogyny inherently values femininity as something that is dirty and unwanted and only something men can enjoy in a degrading way. by taking that and enjoying it yourself, you're actually rejecting that whole patriarchal view on femininity and i think that's pretty fucking cool and badass if you ask me!

im so sorry that person said that to you and i hope you continue to love and embrace your femininity!

[khaleesiofalicante]

Holaaaa!!! This chapter has come as a blessing after the shittiest of days, here we go!!

If I Have to Do One More Fucking Interview

THE BEGINNING

Fuck Shinyun... I just wanted to get it out 🤭

“I’m not having sex with you in public, Alexander!”

Yes you will 😈

Alec is the only thing that connects him to this place. To all of it.

Oh Magnus 😔 Is that why you wanted to run to London after the divorce?

“You don’t have to stop smoking for me if that’s what you are asking,” Magnus replies.

But you should stop smoking because even though is very sexy I'm getting worried!!

“No,” Alec replies.

Is like we are the same person 🤣

Maia 😍😍😍

“I don’t know,” Alec shrugs. “There are bigger deals. Being the senator’s son doesn’t hold a candle to being your boyfriend.”

And he dares call Magnus cheesy 😒

“I don’t even want a job in science!”

I don't like where this conversation is going 😔

“I understand,” It’s Maia who speaks. “You can be good at something and still not want to do it for a living.”

This is so true!!

And he hasn’t allowed himself to think about all of this.

😫😫😫

“You know. You’ve said the F word 27 times since we started talking,” Maia notes.

Is an exclamation point for him, leave him alone 😎

“You are what my lecturer calls a PR nightmare,” she tells Alec, but her mouth is curving a little in the corner.

Congratulations! he is your PR nightmare now, please sing the adoption papers here and here

THE MIDDLE

If anything is a lethal look, it’s that.

These two are so horny for each other and yet we haven't got enough sexy time 🤷🏻‍♀️

Half hour, and one thoroughly satisfying work out session, later, they have breakfast. Max and Rafe are awake now too.

Finally 🙌🏼

“Besides, it’s not technically an interview,” Magnus informs. “It’s an autocomplete interview.”

Ooh I love those!!

His paranoia seems almost silly now. The fears of a boy on the run and nothing more. 

Ouch foresight is a bitch 🥲

“Park! Park! Park!” their three-year-old starts chanting at the breakfast table.

The way I love my chaotic child 😍😍

People Who Can Hold Their Liquor + Simon

These chat names give me life!!

Simon:

You know what. Screw this.

@izzy will you marry me?

Is this the best proposal ever??

“You know what,” Magnus says and picks up the cloth. “I bet I can still carry you in this. Come here.”

😍😍😍 too cuteeee!!!

He smiles, his heart full. 

Happy Magnus is the best Magnus

“I want one,” Alec tells him, looking at his phone. “A girl.”

I'm a girl 🙋🏻‍♀️

How is Magnus Bane…How is Magnus Bane related to Camille Belcourt?”

Goddamnit.

Fuck Camille... undefited queen of the Fuck You club!!

These questions are amazing!!!

“Right here,” Alec replies and points to himself. “Magnus Bane’s family is right here.”

Perfection

THE END

Rafeee!!! I wanted another Rafe POV 🥳

“Why not?” Max asks, looking down at his tank top – which says, ‘Pussy Power’.

🤣🤣 my child

There is a link to a BuzzFeed quiz. “Which Taylor Swift Album Are You?”

I did this test and got RED ❤ which one are you Dani?

The same goes with dad and bapak too. People are always publically thirsting after them. 

Sorry Rafe I can't help myself your parents are hot

It’s probably why he hates Shinyun too.

Fuck Shinyun, that hot well dressed opportunist

I hope this tweets don't get too mean or might have to kill people 🔪

Max grins at the camera. “Are you roasting me or are you roasting Mallory?”

The handles 🤣🤣🤣

How mean is that mean tweet?

WTF?? I feel curious but also like knowing will hurt 😫

Wait is the tweet in the jacket??

Oh, Max indeed

Let my babies be happy and together!!

At least we didn't get Malec angst in this one 

Thank youuuu Dani, this was amazing and surprisingly fun, we'll probably pay for it next chapter but I really needed this today so I don't mind... thank you ❤❤❤❤

Your reactions and gifs make me cackle so bad I CANNOT.

I hope your shitty day is over and tomorrow is kinder! Sending you good vibes.

I did do the "which Taylor Swift album are you" quiz and I got Folklore too sfkvsdncsjk. It says "You're original, introspective, and intelligent. You spend a lot of time in your own head, writing little stories and thinking about the world."

[queernobi]

Saw a post from a trans man about transmasculinity which I agreed with at first glance, but then it said something like, "maybe the reason why so many trans men are transmeds is because YOU (referring to non-transmasc nonbinary folk and transfems) keep kicking us out of other spaces!" and this tweet had a LOT of positive notes and reblogs from other transmascs who agreed with OP.

As a transmasc myself, I really, REALLY need other transmascs to understand a few things:

1) There's literally no verifiable evidence that other transmascs are disproportionately more likely to be bigoted, not even specifically bigoted in the sense that they are transmedicalist. If you are a transmasc and you accept this assertion at face value, then you have either only ever spent time with the shittiest transmasc groups ever (which, to be fair, I used to be in that position, so relatable), or you yourself have troubling attitudes that need to be examined.

2) While I cannot presume to speak for all transmascs, the transmasc folk that I know have only ever been kicked out of communities with other transmascs, usually because those transmascs had shitty attitudes, and *even then* it's happened very, VERY rarely. If you genuinely have a problem connecting with any trans person who isn't transmasc to such an extent that you cannot stay in a group with them for that long, then I'm sorry to say, I have a hard time believing the problem is with those other trans folk.

3) No, and I can't believe I have to say this, being ousted from a group--even for unjustified reasons--is not an excuse to espouse bigotry (and transmedicalism is bigotry). It does not make you sympathetic, or sad, or relatable, or justified, *it just makes you a fucking asshole.*

I don't want to presume too much, but the most generous reading I can take from these sorts of takes (which I want to insist can very well just be me reading way too much into it!) is that many of these transmasculine folk have never really had a lot of spaces or community with other transmascs, which isn't inherently bad (or even their fault, really), but does make it difficult to talk about actual issues transmascs face. I'd like to be able to discuss specific issues transmascs face, and even discuss how difficult it can sometimes be to get other non-transmasc nonbinary folk and transfems to understand and recognize those issues, without having to cosign dangerous, harmful, and FALSE assertions that no transmasc person ever feels comfortable around non-transmasc trans folk (especially transfems). You are absolutely projecting your own issues and biases there, and as a transmasc myself, I want absolutely no part of that shit.

[gingerlee-holds]

vent

i hope i remember to delete this later

current mood is really low

idk the people i usually go to for help are all gone,,, and I don't know what to do,,

a really close bestie of mine told me that he had a surprise for me after work- and then work today was the shittiest it's been so far and I got home, exhausted, and I had to do homework,,, but before I got started, I asked him what the surprise was- and he told me what it was going to be- it was really soft and really cutesy and I would have loved it so much but he thought I wouldn't like it ig,,, I was really looking forward to it and then he just spoiled the surprise and went 'yeah sorry tough luck bud you wouldn't like it anyway' ,,, he's so sad a lot of the time, so when he's genuinely happy, it literally makes my week /gen,,, so when he tells me that he was happy a few minutes before I showed up and then something happened that made his mood drop,,, that makes me feel really shitty,,

another friend who i also go to for help and who also promised snuggles after work is just not responding to my messages which probably means he went to sleep without saying goodnight,, again,, I hate it when he does that,,

and another person i love getting care from was really happy upon seeing me, but the instant I told it that I was in a bad mood, it began apologizing and eventually spiraled into self-deprecation which never fails to make me feel even worse

and finally, the final person i'd go to for love or affection had to go to bed early

i stg if any of those four people see this post and feel bad, please don't- and if you're one of the four and you know you are, don't talk to me about this post because I'll probably get really sad and there's always a chance someone would take this poorly,,

are there other people i can go to for help when I'm sobbing into a stuffed frog? yeah probably- will I go to those people? eventually, yeah but it'll probably be too late and they wont respond

idk,,, im just in the usual cycle of being shitty towards myself and other people and then suffering the consequences and blaming it on myself and the cycle continues

if youve read this far, im sorry to burden you with all this,,, I just really want to be understood and loved despite being an asshole sometimes,,, I really really also want someone to be playful with me but tonight's Sad Night ig-

[borathae]

Hi I need to rant you don't have to answer this if you don't feel like it buuut anyways

I've been feeling the shittiest ever for the ENTIRE day (believe I've tried everything, I went for a run, met friends, had food and water, watched a stream, read smth, I'm done) and I just feel weirdly lonely.

My friends seem to be very concerned with themselves right now, which is of course perfectly fine, but I can't remember when any of them asked me how I was instead of ranting at me with their drama? And then I just feel like I'm ... growing out of them. I had a coffee date with them yesterday and we were there for about three hours and all we talked about was drama in various degrees of blown out of proportion. They all. Complained. All the time. And when I told them about the cute guy that just entered the cafe (who I've had a thing for for a bit, nothing big) they just kinda all just made fun of me? And my type? And his appearance (I know they didn't mean it and he looks ridiculously dark academia with dress shirts and dark pants and sweaters but then Birkenstocks but he's always kind to me when I'm working and he comes in to get his coffee and also he's unnecessarily pretty ANYWAYS) I just felt clowned. And then it was back to them complaining non stop.

And as if that wasn't enough, I had a dream, real pg, that I was lying in bed turned to the wall and my so came into the room, cuddled up behind me and we just slept next to each other, holding each other. And I woke up and felt so. Alone. Holy shit. My chest feels constricted like it would just before you cry but I ... don't cry? So it just keeps feeling constricted.

Also I've started being into Stray Kids a couple days ago and I'm finding myself really relating to Chan and I feel like a stupid delulu fan but he has the same mbti as me and I relate to his protectiveness so incredibly much and he has become such a safe space? And I feel insane? Because I don't actually know him and he's a damn kpop idol and I almost don't wanna type it because I'm cringing at myself but I feel hollow feeling like I will never find someone I relate to that much. I'm being dramatic, I know. Again. Cringing at myself.

ANYWAYS this got waaay too long but I did feel like the only person I could realistically tell this to without being either condescended to or laughed at was you soooooo

Anyways how are you doing, love?

No I really do get you. *whispers* this is me with yoonkook i don't think i will ever be as attracted to someone as i am to them jsdjf

On another note, I also really get the loneliness. Trust me I really fucking do. It feels suffocating because in those moments you just want someone, anyone, to pick you up in their arms and tell you that you are not alone, that there is someone out here who is there for you, who cares for you and who will be with you when that loneliness strikes. But there is nobody here, no arms to fall into and no warmth engulfing you. And that just hurts like nothing else. I really get you and I honestly don't know what to say because even words such as "I truly care for you" (which I do) don't really feel enough in those moments.

I'm sorry you have to go through such emotions, it sucks so much and I really hate that you have to feel them.

Also honestly your "friends" are dicks wtf? First of all, it's never okay to trauma dump on someone, that's just a shitty move and selfish too because you never know if the other person could possibly get triggered by it. And second of all, it's a big dick move making fun of your friends' taste in partners. Like wtf? Be happy that your friend found someone who is nice to them instead of bullying their taste in men, like bro how old are you? 11? lmao grow up.

I hope you will feel better again and I hope you know that eventhough I can't be physically with you, I still care very deeply for you and I would give you hug if I were with you. 💜

[boys-from-santacarla]

Note; I deeply apologize seeing as this is going to end up being long. Onto the information; My name is Ghost(mainly go by this one), Acid, Killer(more of a nickname), or Gore(more of a nickname). I go by he/they/xe/its, and I'm a dude, MLM and poly so it really doesn't matter much who it is. Born March 31st, being an Aries I'm a very loud and energetic person. I'm also very impulsive and get myself into deep shit, even if I don't realize I'm doin' it. I get overly loud when the topic is about something I enjoy or is into, if I try flirting on purpose it's ass but when I do it without realizing I get called a huge flirt. Big music and art geek, I have sketchbooks upon sketchbooks filled just sitting around in my room. I listen to a lot of rock like Queen, Guns N Roses, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, ACDC, Nickelback, KISS, Slipknot, KoRn, and on and on. Although I listen to every genre of music minus country(although there are few songs I can deal with). Big tattoo/piercing person, if you have one visible I will point it out and geek out about it. Although literally don't ask me to name a few songs unless I've been rambling on about it because I have the shittiest memory. I dye my hair so often it's surprising my hair is still healthy. I have literally bleached my hair, dyed it red and let that fade for a week, then dyed it blue and have been touching up the blue ever since then. If it wasn't due to money problems and the fact it's hard to borrow in my town my hair would probably have my hair a different color every two weeks. I ramble quite a bit and have the shittiest focus and memory, so you may have to pull me to the side and tell me to calm down. Would definitely compliment on the boys looks, specially their outfits. I'm a coffee and monster addict at this point, you'll see one or the other in my hand, and the occasional water bottle because I try to keep myself health. My love language is through touch and insulting people. Ex, "I fucking love you dumbass" or flipping you off playfully as a way of saying "i love you bitch". Smoking doesn't bother me, grew up around it my entire life. I love riding on motorcycles, no matter the weather, is it cold asf, nice idgaf, is it raining, shit lets go. I have a bad(good in some people's eyes) of using petnames/nicknames for everyone. Everyone has a wholesome petname from me and then I'll call them a whore or some shit. I cuss too much for my own good, I literally don't have a filter in my entire body. I will impulsively say shit, sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes it's a bad thing. Due to my anxiety I try to stay away from large crowds, but if I'm in them (aka on the boardwalk) I will have music blaring in my ears and my ears glued into my current sketchbook. Although I currently don't have them, I'm going to add them anyways because I'm going to end up getting them when I have the money to go to a piercer or to get a kit. I want a shit ton of piercings. Such as snake bites(lip piercing), tongue, septum, all of the piercings finished on my ears, and bridge. I've stated once I'm a big tattoo geek, so I want a quite a bit of those. I'm definitely a big "oh let's do it myself" person, and I have tried giving myself a septum piercing. (it would've worked if it wasn't for the fact I did it too low to be able to flip it up to hide it) I love the adrenaline of fights, it doesn't matter if I win or loose, although I do prefer if I win. I literally get the most random urge to fight someone for the hell of it. Probably has something to do with impulsive thoughts and shit, but oh well. I'm a big respect person, I live by the motto "you respect me, I'll respect you". I have blackouts sometimes due to rage and anxiety, so I try to keep myself from having them. I have a bad habit of rambling and saying sorry too much. I tend to repeatedly say sorry whilst rambling as I tend to get overly excited and loud when I ramble. I'm a very talkive person if I know and trust you. If you're around me and you don't get your ear talked off or messed with, you're probably not liked or

you need to leave. It's one easy way you'll be able to tell if I get along with you or not. I kinda have a whatever/punk/alt style, a lot of time I just grab something decent and throw it on. Although you'll always see me wearing a belt and my platform shoes. I'm 5'0, so my obsession with platforms grew because of my need to be tall. I wear a lot of baggy clothing, I'm definitely more of a comfort over style person.

Ok, my dude, I'll definitely pair you with...

Marko and Paul

Oh, man, you three are gonna be some threesome (and not necessarily in the sexual way lol)

Just imagine THE MESS

The boys think you're adorable when you get into the romantic mood and try to flirt but end up saying bad pick-up lines, so they'll laugh, but will twirl their hair as whoerish as possible and follow the game. Or they would get on with their manly act and fight to see who will flirt back better.

Now, the chatting will be so goddamn long! You three will go on 4 hour-long conversations that'll get from a "look at this new t-shirt I got" to "so that's why Ronald Reagan was an alien". The worst part is left to the spectators like David or Dwayne since none of you three will be the sane individual and shut y'all up.

The blondes like your drawing, and ask you to draw them or random stuff and people CONSTANTLY, so you'll have many opportunities to improve your skills and try with different models. When they happen to find some of your sketchbooks, they try to impress you or simply give a small present by drawing you or something you like, or at least make the attempt since some of the "fine pieces" as they call them, they give you are like children's school projects.

And, man, about the hair, are you blessed to have the glam diva Paul by your side to give advice and constructive criticism to your hair. He will help you choose the color and will give it style from time to time if you accept. The process to dye it will be so much fun, and so chaotic; experimenting with the pigments ends up with wounds caused from the bleach and the currently used wardrobe disposed later.

A thing they love about you is that you can stand up for yourself if needed, but they rather you not to, because they know you handle yourself and the others well, maybe too well for your good. Paul tries to take care of you as much as he can so there is no need for you to possibly get hurt. It was enough trying to control Marko so he didn't get involved in some stupid street fight every night at the boardwalk to now have to worry daily about you too. Marko shares the passion for the adrenaline of this and will think it is hot as hell, but he protects you as much as Paul, maybe a bit softer than him about it tho, but if you're in the middle of a fight and it starts to get worse than expected, he dead ass will force you to back off. He'll finish the business himself, sweetheart.

As for your love language, don't worry, these dorks will accept you playful pushes with joy, and they'll give you some of them too. But if you accidentally flip and fall some meters before hitting ground, you know the rule: laugh first, help second.

Oh, and you better get prepared for the bullying. You're the smallest in the group, so that leads to a constant attack as a hobbit. Marko joins the quip, but I mean, he'll get humiliated along. Let's just say Paul gives you two a hard time about it. With all the love of course.

They love to get out with you and the others and go to the boardwalk, but they try to take you out on days it is not that crowded, or in hours where a small amount of souls are having a stroll. But, if you happen to go out on a crowded night, they will keep you focused on having a good time, but just mention your getting uncomfortable and you'll be back at the cave in less than a minute.

Paul and Marko really love your style, they think it looks badass and try to match tough outfits with you from time to time. Giving you cool shirts and leather jackets with some patches on them that they think are awesome. Don't ask why some of the clothes have strange-colored stains on them tho.

They go with you to get you ears or nose pierced from the moment you three decided doing it diy style was a bad idea cuz y'all ended up with a bleeding nose and an ear infection the first time of trying it, and because there's no voice of reason in the threesome, Star and Dwayne had to give you kids a very long lecture of not doing those things by yourself.

[tuiccim]

Brassy (Part 4)

Pairing: Loki X Reader,  Bucky X Reader

Words: 1881

Warnings: Language, PTSD, Smut (18+, NSFW), Casual sex, some angst

Summary: You’re in a friends with benefits situation with Loki and some of the other Avengers aren’t happy with the arrangement. Reader and Bucky finally have it out. 

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

———————————-

You rode Loki until you exhausted yourself. A while later you felt him shift out of the bed. You grab his wrist and say, "Stay."

"What?" He says surprised.

"Stay."

"Are you certain?"

"On one condition." 

"Name it, darling "

"Wake me up fucking me."

"My pleasure." 

You smile into your pillow and fall asleep.

As promised, you wake up spooned against Loki as he slowly works himself into you from behind. His left arm curled under you playing with your breast and his right hand making slow circles around your clit. "Ohhh…yes." you breath as the pleasure washes over you. Loki continues his ministrations at a leisurely pace while whispering in your ear. "Is this what you wanted, my darling? Hmmm...you're so tight. So perfectly tight. Ohhh. So wet for me, my darling…"

The feeling of his breath on your ear, his hands swirling their magic around your breasts and clit, and the steady rhythm of his cock moving in and out of you drive you to the edge. Your release is strong and prolonged as Loki never pauses from his duties. When he finally succumbs to his own release, you're spent. Eventually, you turn to face Loki. You lean into him for a kiss, saying, "In answer to your question. Yes, that was exactly what I wanted." You say with a soft giggle. 

Loki smiles. "Am I being kicked out now?" He asks half-jokingly. 

"When do you have to go back?" You ask. 

"Tonight."

"Spend the day in bed with me, then." You grin winningly. "Unless you think you'll be bored."

"Not if you're in it with me." Loki pulls you to him and begins nibbling along your collarbone. You hum contentedly and smile knowing the day will be spent pleasurably. 

That afternoon you and Loki were sitting on your bed eating the lunch you had brought from the kitchen. 

“How come you didn't fall in love with me?” Loki asks.

“Oh, god, where is this coming from?” You say rolling your eyes.

“Don’t worry, darling. I’m just curious.”

“I’ll tell you the same thing I told Tony last night. I’m not the fall in love kind.” You say.

“What does that mean?” Loki  queries.

You shrug. “It means I don’t fall in love.”

“Ever?”

“Nope. Just, I don’t know, Loki. I feel emotions. I just don't fall in love.” You paused. “Besides, like I said, I’d hate you if you weren’t so good in bed.”

“No, you wouldn’t.” He grins.

“True. You are rather fun. I’m glad we’re friends.” You say in a rare moment of transparency. 

“With benefits?” Loki says with a smirk. 

“Hell, yeah.” You laugh. 

Before Loki left that evening he looked at you and said “Next time?” as he always does. 

“Look forward to it.” Your rote response. 

You are glad to have him as a friend. Loki didn’t judge. You could laugh, make mischief, or just be quiet together. You didn’t have to worry about his emotions running away from him either. You understood each other. Loki made things easy. And that’s the way you liked things.

Sunday morning you, Natasha, Clint, and Sam were sent on a two day mission. Nine days later, you all returned worse for wear but having accomplished your mission. Clint and Natasha helped Sam to the infirmary for some stitches. You went looking for Steve to check in. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., where’s Cap?” you ask. 

“Captain Rogers is in the training room.” F.R.I.D.A.Y replies. 

You see Steve and Bucky sparring as soon as you walk in. You watch them for a minute and then yell out, “On your six!” distracting Steve and giving Bucky the upper hand. Steve’s back slams onto the mat and you chuckle despite your exhaustion. 

“Really, (Y/N)?” Steve rolls to his feet.

“Payback for the shit mission we got.” You counter.

“Everyone okay?” Steve looks at you with concern. 

“Sam’s getting a small gash on his leg stitched up but that’s about it. Intel we gathered has been uploaded. I’m going to bed.” You start to turn. 

“Rest well.” Steve says. Bucky stayed silent for the entire exchange.

“K, thanks.” You say as you walk away not bothering to turn back. You take a hot shower and hit the sack. 

You awake from a nightmare with a start. 3am. You just want more sleep, but knowing it to be futile you decide to head to the kitchen. Your stomach feels absolutely empty and you still feel drained from the mission. It hadn’t been an easy one physically or mentally. You’re nearly finished making a sandwich when Bucky walks in. 

“Hey.” you say and turn back to your sandwich. 

“Hey.” he says back and goes to the fridge.

“Want a sandwich?” You ask, unsure why you’re offering to make one for the asshat.

“No...thanks.” He says and you see him start to leave. 

Setting down the knife and taking a deep breath, you say quietly, “What did I do wrong?”

“What?” Bucky turns back to you. 

“What did I do wrong?” You say a little louder. 

Bucky stares at you but says nothing. 

Frustrated you say, “I’ve wracked my brain. Gone over every discussion and interaction we have had and I can’t figure it out. What did I do to you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He turns to leave.

“Bullshit, Barnes! There has to be some reason you hate me!” You say vehemently. He just keeps walking and your temper gets the best of you. Grabbing your half drunk water bottle, you hurl it at him hitting him square in the back. “Talk to me!”

“Did you throw a water bottle at me?” Bucky says in disbelief. 

“You’re lucky it wasn’t the knife, Asshat.” You counter.

“You’ve lost your mind!” Bucky yells.

“Why do you hate me so much?” You holler back. 

“I DON’T!” He screams. 

“YES, YOU DO!” You scream back.

“WHY HIM?” 

You stare at Bucky confused. “Why who?... You mean, Loki?” 

"He's using you."

"What? No he's not."

"Yes, he is. He doesn't love you."

"I don't love him. It's not like that."

"What?" Bucky looks at you in shock.

"Loki and I are not together. We're just friends with benefits." 

"What the hell are friends with benefits?" Bucky says.

"Fuck buddies. A mutually agreed on arrangement between friends to include sex with no strings and no emotions." You explain. 

Bucky gapes at you, "And you don't care what that makes you?" 

Your blood runs cold. "What that makes me?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." Bucky backpedals.

"You think there's a name I haven't been called? I was a runaway at 14. How the fuck do you think I fed myself?" You say venomously. "Men used me my entire life. And now that I am the one that says when and who and where, I'm supposed to dress it up with hearts and flowers. Fuck. That. I'll do who and what I want."

"That's not what I meant." Bucky says. 

"What did you mean?" You glare at him.

Bucky looks at you and his face softens. "I meant you deserved better. You should be loved."

"Some of us aren't meant to be loved." You turn to go back to the kitchen but Bucky grabs your hand. 

"Everyone is meant to be loved. You are meant to be loved." Bucky says quietly. 

"No. I'm not." You say pulling your hand away. 

"Why would you say that?" Bucky pushes.

"Because I'm not someone people love. I'm not someone anyone loves. I never have been." You explain.

"That's not true." Bucky says.

"Look, Bucky, I know most people grow up with people who love them. But I didnt. I don't deserve love and I don't need it." You finish making your sandwich. 

"You're wrong." Bucky turns you around to face him. "God, (Y/N), you're so wrong. You deserve love. You deserve everything."

"You have to see the irony that the guy who hates me is the one telling me I should have love." You scoff.

"I don't hate you." Bucky says.

"Coulda fooled me." You said.

"I was jealous." He confesses. "I was angry you were with Loki."

"Why?" You say, genuinely confused. "Because I wasn't sleeping with you?"

"Because I like you, (Y/N)!" Bucky says exasperated. "You're smart and funny and beautiful and strong." 

For a moment you're stunned speechless. You couldn't meet his eyes any longer and looked away. "Don't, Bucky. Don't like me. I'm not the fall in love type. I'm not...I'm not worth your time."

"Can't I be the judge of that?" He asks.

"You don't know anything about me. And if you did, you wouldn't ask that. My past is not pretty." You say.

"I was a brainwashed Hydra assassin. I've got a pretty sketchy past, too."

"You…" 

Bucky puts his hands to your lips to stop you. When you finally look up to meet his eyes, he moves his hands to frame your face. "I don't know anything about you? On mission, you are always willing to take the shittiest job to spare anyone else. You bake treats for everyone all the time and know what everyone's favorite food is and how they take their coffee. You go out of your way to help others. You never leave a room without asking if anyone needs something. You go shopping and come back with nothing for yourself but little gifts for everyone else. You always have a joke at the ready but an apology on your lips the minute you think you've offended someone. You have the mouth of a sailor on you but the minute a kid or old folks are around you are the most charming person on the planet. You want everyone to see the brash facade you put up but you wear your heart on your sleeve without even realizing it. Whatever is in your past, is your past. We all make shit decisions in life. The person I see, she's amazing. And she is worthy. And she deserves love. She deserves everything."

You stare up at him and whisper, "I don't see her."

"She's right here. She offered to make this total 'asshat' a sandwich just because he walked in the room. Even though he's been a complete jerk to her."

"Well, Steve always calls you jerk so I figured it was your default." 

"There's that humor I mentioned." He stares into your eyes. "Give me the chance to prove you deserve love."

"I'll hurt you." You say shaking your head.

"You're scared. I'm scared, too. We can go as slow as you need." Bucky caresses your jaw.

"I don't know how to do this." You say.

"Let's start by being friends. We'll figure it out as we go." Bucky smiles at you. 

You look at him wondering how the hell this just happened but somewhere deep inside you felt a kernal of joy spring forward. Part of you wanted to believe you did deserve everything he was saying. The other part was screaming that this was a trick and you were an idiot.

Bucky can see the war going on inside you. "Gimme a chance, Doll. Please." 

You smile at him. "So...you wanna sandwich, asshat?" 

Part 5