#i wanted to put one for their early relationship but didnt know how to describe it properly

[guardian-angle22]

TK & Carlos + Various Labels

[bridgyrose]

Ruby let out a soft sigh as she looked out towards Blake and Weiss, still not quite sure how she felt about what her relationship with them was. After she talked to them, they had both asked her to be their girlfriend, and yet, she didnt quite feel… right. Sure she was happy that the two wanted her with them, but the more she thought about it, the more she didnt really know what she wanted. To have them close and in her life, but everything else… 

“Everything alright, Rubes?” Yang asked. “I figured you’d be a bit more focused after talking to them.” 

“I thought so too but I… I dont know, maybe there’s something I’m missing.” 

“Missing?” 

Ruby nodded as she watched Weiss and Blake talk with each other and hold hands. “I always thought that maybe getting into a relationship would fix me and let me be like the other girls. But now that I’m with them, I still feel… broken.” 

Yang shook her head and lightly tapped Ruby’s shoulder. “You’re not broken.” 

“And how would you know that? I’ve watched how Blake and Weiss are around each other and I… I cant do the same. I dont mind holding hands, but every time I try to kiss them, it feels like I’m missing something. Like I’m not feeling the same things that they are.” 

“Maybe you’re not really into girls?” 

“No, I am, I want nothing more than to be with them. But I-” Ruby leaned forward and put her head on her desk. “I cant give them the love that they want.” 

“Have you asked what they want?” 

“Yes-” 

“I mean really ask them what they want.” Yang smiled a bit as she looked out towards Blake and Weiss. “If you ask me, I think they just want you to be in their lives just as much as you want them in yours no matter what that means. Even if that means you cant give them the love you think they want.” 

“And if they dont?” 

“If they dont, then maybe they’re not right for you. Though, I think I know how you feel a lot more than you think.” 

Ruby looked up, curious. “You do?” 

Yang nodded. “Sun’s a bit… handsy for the most part. Not that I really mind, but its not something that I go after.” 

“I dont need to hear about that.” 

“Dont worry, I have a point. My point is that I’m happy without going any further than dates and hand holding. But it did mean that we had to talk things out and figure out what kind of relationship that we wanted.” 

“Yeah, but… I… I still dont know what I want or why I feel so… broken.” 

Yang shrugged. “I cant exactly give you an answer on that one, but if you never talk to them, then you’ll always be second guessing yourself anyway. And maybe you’ll be able to figure out the words you need to tell them.” 

Ruby nodded and looked back at Weiss and Blake. “Do… Do you think you can give me a bit of privacy with them?” 

“Sure thing. Dont take too long.” 

Ruby smiled nervously as Yang walked off, not quite sure what she was going to say to either of them. Not that she really had any of the words to describe the relationship she wanted. Still, Yang had a point, she would need to talk to the two of them before things got out of hand for her. Even if it meant having a conversation that she’d much rather not have. 

She shakily got up, heart pounding in her chest as she walked over to Blake and Weiss. She held her arm to her chest, her voice quiet as she stumbled over a few of her words. “Blake, Weiss, can… can we talk?” 

“About what?” Blake asked. 

“About us.” Ruby swayed a little as she tried to keep the words going, stuttering as she continued. “I-I wanted… I wanted to talk about what you… what you both wanted out of our, um, our relationship.” 

Weiss looked at her curiously. “Where is this coming from? I thought you were happy with what we have together.” 

“I am! But I… I dont…” Ruby went quiet for a moment as she looked at her two girlfriends, her body trembling as she tried to find the right words. “I dont want sex,” was a bit too blunt and too early to try to talk about, and it wasnt entirely what she wanted the conversation to focus on. “I… I dont… I want… I want to be close to you but kissing-” 

“Feels weird?” Blake interrupted. 

Ruby nodded. “I dont mind it, but I… it still feels weird and it doesnt feel… right to me.” 

“So no more kissing?” Weiss asked. “Then what would you like to do?” 

“That’s… what I dont know,” Ruby admitted quietly, holding her arm. “I like the cuddling and being close, spending time with you both, but once it comes down the romance stuff, its… awkward for me. I cant get into it like the two of you do. I love you both but not… like that.” 

“If you cant be romantic-” 

“Then we’ll work with you on what does work,” Blake cut Weiss off and gave her a smile. “Right Weiss?” 

Weiss sighed and rolled her eyes. “Right, we’ll work with what works for you. Even if that means less romance.” 

A small smile crossed Ruby’s lips and her hand moved away from her arm. “Thanks for understanding.” 

Blake nodded and pulled her into a hug. “I’m fine with taking care of the romance stuff with Weiss. And if you’re not into it, then we’ll do what makes you feel good. No obligations on anything else.” 

“I still want to be kissed,” Weiss said. “Just to be clear if we’re making our wants known.” 

“Will hugs work for now?” Ruby asked. “I’m still trying to figure out the rest of this, but if I get more comfortable with kissing, then I’ll try to do that more.” 

“Hugs are acceptable for now.” 

Ruby giggled as Weiss winced as she pulled her into a tight hug. “Once I have better words for how I feel, I’ll let you both know.” 

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Prev

[jemmo]

ok. here’s some of my immediate, rambly reactions to eps 3 and 4 of t8s.

first off, i was kinda nervous the entire day. it’s been a while since ive had butterflies like this waiting for a show to air, most recently was the second season of utsukushii kare, but the level it was today was rivalling waiting on a friday for a new bad buddy ep. and the fact this show managed to put me into that state within less than a week is frankly insane, and shows just how down bad i am for it. all that to say, i so soooooo didnt this want this to be a case of me overinflating how good those first 2 eps only for the follow up to not encapsulate the same feelings. all signs were pointing to that not being the case, but still, when you hyperfixate, you kinda get nervous hoping that thing lives up to everything youve built it up to be. and these eps absolutely did that. they didnt just live up to expectations, but are managing to give me scenes and story beats and emotions i just cant predict at this point, and i love that. just how like this budding relationship feels new and unpredictable to jihyun and jaewon, the show is like that for me to watch, and it does wonders for giving me the same butterflies the two are feeling.

but with that unpredictability comes a kind of uncertainty, not knowing whats gonna happen at any turn, and i cant express how much i adore that about these two eps. with the kind of story theyre building, with jaewon’s mental health struggles and his past, with jihyuns nerves and growth in an unfamiliar environment, itd be so easy to make their relationship a shared place of comfort and certainty and familiarity for each other. that place of refuge. and while i feel like that’s what it’ll eventually become, i love that still, in these early stages, the relationship feels so uncertain and almost not guaranteed. it makes you still hang onto every look and touch and word even though theyve already kissed. something about it doesnt feel pre-determined, which is a feeling i get with so many other bl’s when you know, a majority of the time, they’ll get together and have a happy ending. that doesnt feel guaranteed here (even though i pray for that to be the case). instead, it feels like im watching two individuals that are actually having to make a conscious effort in order for this relationship to become something. they have to work for that certainty. and that kind of knife’s edge, it could break at any moment, hanging on every interaction is packed with that specific kind of nervous exhilaration that is so fucking accurate and true to the start of relationship. i seriously cant describe how perfectly they managed to encapsulate that feeling and convey it with such authenticity. its actually ridiculous. seeing those moments, when they’re talking and skirting so closely around the topic of what exactly they are, when then their fingers brush and you are begging for one of them to make the tiniest of moves, to take hold, to make that kind of a statement no matter how small or silent it is, it makes your heart race, bc its new and unknown and in that moment its like your insides are screaming, begging you to embed this sensation into your veins bc you dont know when the next night like this, when the midnight chill and the dusky sky and the hints of alcohol in your system will mix right and make you feel so hedonistically giddy as you do right now at the feeling of that person by your side. and the way they both chase that sensation, how visibly happy it makes them, a craving for each other and that shared thrill only they know, it is just so unbelievably intoxicating to watch. 

i am a person that struggles to sit down and focus. im watching tv but im also knitting, im playing a game but also listening to a podcast. im that person that has to overwhelm my senses to feel sated. this is the first time in a while that ive sat down to watch something and nothing stole my focus, i wasnt distracted, my mind didnt wander. i wasnt concious of the other people walking around my house or the traffic outside or the temperature of the room, i was just fully engrossed. i let every ebb and flow of the scenes and story take me on this path it was guiding me down. and again, thats how they feel. when jihyun and jaewon are alone together, everything else fades away to this dull buzz of background nothingness, they become engrossed in each other, and just as the story pulls me, they pull each other. there’s a constant back and forth, an exchange of setting and challenging boundaries that i adore. when youre getting into a scene, you dont know whos gonna be the one pushing the other. you have jihyun being more forward by the han river, teaching jaewon to draw, then you have jaewon going after jihyun at the library, you have him meeting jihyun after work only for jihyun to ask him to stay and have a drink. its like with every interaction, theyre both asking ‘is this ok?’ and the other asks ‘can we go further?’. i wanna make a whole other post about the nature of their gap in age and experience and all that brings and also how the expectations it brings are subverted, but for now i just wanna say how great it is that there is this balance, and especially that jihyun is allowed to be confident and brave and forward with jaewon, and jaewon is allowed to be reserved and giddy around jihyun. those are experiences so often reserved for the elder and the younger in a relationship, respectively, so to let jihyun be the leader and jaewon the follower, swept up by his feelings and attraction is so refreshing and plays so well into the kind of growth we’re gonna see from these characters and that they need, jihyun growing out of this shy country mouse persona to be more forward and bold, and jaewon being allowed to drop his mask of bravado and letting him be a young person that doesn’t have to be in control of everything. we see that one of his main pressures is the concept of the future, of how simultaneously wide and full of possibilities but also narrow and predetermined that future is for him. he talks about being afraid to lose the comfort of a microcosm like the army of school, even though they are places where he isnt necessarily happy. and then in comes jihyun, something not predetermined, something unexpected, and he takes control of jaewons future in a way by opening up this new path for him. he’s taking some of that stress from jaewon’s shoulders by being an equal and responsive partner in this journey, and offers the chance for jaewon to have something certain in his future, only if he too will work for it. only too if he tries something new, realises that its not too late, and that the anxiety and fear and uncertainty that comes with it may be worth it. bc it may not be guaranteed, but to try instead of never knowing is the only way he can make this possible.

tldr; this show is breath-taking, and im gonna be emo about it for a very long time

[forestfrendzz]

There was a time in my life where early mornings always sounded like slow rhythmic guitars and sweet cold air. Or when December days after school sounded like snow crunching beneath my feet and smelt like the burning of thc in between my finger tips. Now days winter time and the ocean and the color blue are all the same and I hate them all the same. 

Recently the mornings have felt like waking up at 5 AM expecting to see your name on my phone. Sometimes when I hear my ringtone in the morning I can’t help but hope that it’ll be your name I see on my screen. 

I grew up in a small town in southern utah, so I was always around southern accents talkin about weekend bonfires or about how my best friends moms husbands sleeping around. My friends family in particular would always invite me over for the holidays and their southern spirits always shone bright during those times. Especially when they would start talking about hunting. I Can still remember the sound of my friends aunt telling her “bless your heart”. I never knew what that actually meant until much later in my life. 

Then I met a man who was 1500 miles away from me who I couldn’t help but feel like you came from where I came from. The connection was instantaneous. I didn’t have to pretend. I didn’t have to force. But I knew that the distance in between us was ever so growing wider and wider, even when it felt like we got closer and closer. 

The truth of the matter is that I invested way too much of myself into someone who I had never met in person before. But I didn’t care. Because I thought that if I spoke sincerely then you would hear me. See me. Understand me. Maybe I was delusional for thinking we could take our relationship any further than we did. 

Hearing you laugh brought me a kind of satisfaction that I can’t find the words to describe. All I knew was that I loved it. all I knew in those moments was that I never wanted to stop hearing you laugh. 

The thought of you comes to me every morning and every night and in the middle of service at 7 pm every day at work when I look out the window and the golden sunlight is pouring through all the windows. I wish it wasn’t that way. I wish I could erase you from my memory because at this point they are painful to remember. 

I wish there was a combination of words I could put together to truly describe how much you have hurt me but you will never understand because I think in your mind I didn’t matter to you nearly as much. Maybe I was just an option. I wish there was a way for me to tell you that I hope that the realization of who I am and what it was that you meant to me really hit you one day without sounding spiteful. But maybe I am. I’m not sure. I hope you remember that I always have cared for you even when it was at my expense to do so. And I’m not sure why I feel so profoundly about someone I barely talked to and then got ghosted by and I know I sound crazy but I didnt care because I knew how I felt at the time. 

Anyways, there was never a need to pretend with me I just wish you would have been sincere with me. I wish that you would have just told me directly and honestly how you felt instead of abruptly withdrawing from me and not talking to me for the longest time and then one morning reappearing out of nowhere asking for a moment if my time and then re disappearing once again. You have hurt me to the very max and I will never forget you for it. 

I hope you find something so beautiful for you because you deserve it. I still pray for you and I hope you don’t mind it. It’s unfortunate that you didn’t feel the same way about me but it’s life and I’ll be fine. Thanks for the experience.

[koinvyokan]

dsmp fic recs!!!

ive narrowed the list down to only completed works so none of these will leave you hanging and you can binge to your hearts content.

* = most highly recommended

Rated T

for you, the stars *

By andthentheybow

Relationships: DNF, Karlnap, SBI as a family

Words: 115k

Why you should read it: this is an au of The Martian, with george being trapped on mars. its heartbreaking, raw, so poetic and still very much keeps the realistic and scientific tone of the original work. this fic broke my heart and put it back together slowly.

~~~~~

how dare you love me like you’ve never known fear *

By andthentheybow (just read all their fics, theyre such a good writer)

Relationships: DNF, Karlnapity

Words: 11k

Why you should read it: immortal soulmates au??? do i need to say more?? its so filled with longing and cool worldbuilding its ridiculous. 

~~~~~

We Must Have Good Pitch, ‘Cause Baby, You and Me are So In Tune!

By Quid_Pro_Cure

Relationships: Karlnapity, DNF (background)

Words: 73k

Why you should read it: probably my favourite karlnapity fic! its a small town rock band AU about dtqk trying to win a festival competition that features a very badass sapnap and a really lovely romance. the characters are vividly described and its just a nice, funny, light on the angst read. 

~~~~~

I wish I were you, Optimism *

By valleyofthesun

Relationships: DNF, Georgebur (past dont let this make u not read it i beg), SBI as a family

Words: 62k

BIG TW FOR SUICIDE

Why you should read it: want to preface this by making it clear that this fic is about the c! versions of these characters. it follows george as he deals with the grief from his boyfriend, wilbur, committing suicide and shows how dream helps him start to recover from this. i read this at a time in which i needed to read something like this, after losing a friend to suicide myself, so believe me when i tell you that this fic’s depiction of grief is like nothing ive ever seen in fanfiction or in any type of media in it’s accuracy. the characterization is very true although the characters are in this very unlikely situation, the prose is absolutely beautiful, and it does have it’s funny and heartwarming moments to detract from all the angst and pain. this fic is really taxing to read, at least it was for me maybe that because i was too personally connected to it, but do consider that before you read as it deals with extremely triggering material. this fic changed me. read it right neeeooowww!

~~~~~

The Night Window *

By backtopluto

Relationships: DNF

Words: 51k

Why you should read it: i could recommend all of backtopluto’s works, honestly they are one of if not my favourite dnf author. but my favourite of their works is definitely this one. this is a 1930s car racing au, which is something i never would have thought to look for, but now i wish there were a million vintage racing aus because i need more of this dynamic. there’s so much good angst and character study in this fic, i would describe it like one long race itself, there are so many ups and downs and by the end you feel like a different person. their writing puts you into the character’s head so well, and i have such massive respect for their ability to make a historical au so realistic, im surprised the author didnt live through this time period themself.

~~~~~

Tender is the Night

By backtopluto

Relationships: DNF

Words: 18k

Why you should read it: dream dodging the vietnam draft au! another amazing historical au by backtopluto, this one is just really sweet and, well, tender. 

~~~~~

lightning bug

By saintaches

Relationships: DNF

Words: 21k

Why you should read it: early 2000s emo warped tour band au. this is just super fun and cute and you feel like the author somehow knows what its like to spend a summer in a sweaty tour bus with your best friend and your maybe more than best friend

~~~~~

head or heart

By effervescentlies

Relationships: DNF, Karlnap (background)

Words: 58k

Why you should read it: grey’s anatomy/doctor au! very fun, good angst, well done enemies to lovers, and dnf respecting and thirsting after each other’s intelligence as surgeons <3 love it

~~~~~

take this compass, follow it home

By lightning_anon

Relationships: SBI as a family

Words: 49k

Why you should read it: obligatory SBI foster family au! usually i actually dont much like the SBI foster trope, but damn this one knocks it out of the park. a really brutally honest depiction of mental health issues. this actually helped me realize i have adhd and get help for that so uh. good representation matters! i would recommend the entire encompass series that this is the start of, especially wilbur’s section as a very interesting depiction of intersex and ftm trans issues.

~~~~~

a moment apart

By fictionalparadises

Relationships: Karlnap

Words: 44k

Why you should read it: what?? a fic with actual asexual karl jacobs rep??? do my eyes deceive me? no, its real! its really fucking sweet and a realistic portrayal of asexuals in relationships! crazy, right? 

~~~~~

a lifetime, my lifeline *

By wooowriter

Relationships: DNF

Words: 10k

Why you should read it: the perfect dnf meetup fic. soo full of longing and the pain of missing someone so bad, contrasted beautifully with the absolute awe of seeing them. if you’re gonna read a dnf meetup oneshot make it this one!!​

Rated M

Fit Like A Daydream *

By keepAPlaceForMe

Relationships: Foolish/Punz

Words: 37k

Why you should read it: i had never read Funz before BUt. this fic made me insane. its so good and im so invested in the Vegas lore thats developed in their Funz fics. mwah mwah mwah

~~~~~

whatever you make me (wherever you are)

By squigly

Relationships: DNF

Words: 24k

Why you should read it: 500 days of summer au!! so angsty and that makes it great. does true love really exist or are we just making it up because we want it so bad?? read to find out

~~~~~

Devil Town

By hooray

Relationships: SBI as a family, Karlnapity (background)

Words: 100k

Why you should read it: This one is for horror fans, its pretty creepy and atmospheric. Reminds me a lot of Stranger Things! If youre into SBI then I dont know what you’re doing if you havent read this

Rated E

thunder in vials *

By squigly

Relationships: DNF

Words: 8k

Why you should read it: punk band au! but like, not sanitized. very atmospheric. its just sex rocknroll and the harsh reality of drug addiction

~~~~~

to burn with desire and keep quiet

By falsettodrop

Relationships: DNF

Words: 47k

Why you should read it: i feel like this is the seminal george moves to florida dnf fic. if you havent already read it then read it before you start anything else. its just so good. a lot of meetup fics blend together for me which is why there arent many on this list, but this one is very memorable and impactful

[xlysaaa]

Ahhhhhh

Ok, so this might become a bit of a long post. After reading the latest Kono oto Tomare! chapter, i just have to get these feelings off my chest. It'll be random & full ramblings.

i put some panels of chapter 105 but also from 99.5 in this post.

-> lot of spoilers, so read at your own risk <-

this wont be a review or something. I just want to ramble and scream.

First of all, Chikas father . . .

I have literally no fucking words for this sorry excuse of a father! seeing this flashback made me wanna puke my fucking guts out on the floor.

how much do you have to sink as a human being to make YOUR VERY OWN CHILD think this?

What kind of human scum do you have become to tell to YOUR VERY OWN SON " It's hell. Ever since you were born, Its always been hell." ?! What kind of heartless huge shit being do you have to be to treat your very own son like he's the worst, like he isnt worth of human affection or care?!

While Chika was scared & uncomfortable, because he punched someone for the first time to defend himself, instead of talking about it the father looked at him like he was dirt.

When Chika went to the Takaokas that day in Chapter 99.5, he brought back come of the selfmade cake from Tetsukis mum, because he wanted to share it with his father, he thought he could make him happy.

look at this adorable sweet baby bean? how dare you make him cry. ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

Imagine a little smiling chika hoping his father would come back early from work to share this delicious cake with him. . . and THEN! imagine the father telling chika in his drunk state all those horrible things, while chika still cares for his father and put a blanket on him to keep him warm. Only for the faher to say ".. I cant bringt myself to love you."

We read in the latest chapter that his mother left with another man, chika cant even remember her face, because he was 2 years old. If its because of the dad, why wouldnt she take chika with her? i dont care whatever her business is, she is as much to blame as this human trash called father. There were so many moments were i had to pause for a bit cause these scenes were too heartbreaking.

Of course Chika would never treasure himself when never once did his father! How should he know how to hold himself dear, when his father never did?

I cant find even the words to describe, what i'm feeling. I feel so sick to my stomach.

I'm so glad that he had his grandpa who cherished him and gave Chika affection. He always encouraged Chika. "Hey, Chika. Dont give up on yourself" & showed him the Koto. He & Tetsuki literally pulled Chika out of the deep darkness & showed him light.

Look Chika, they're all waiting for you! T____T

- - - - - - -- - - - - - -

When Tetsuki transfered into Chikas class, a boy told him that he shouldnt get involved with chika because he's a loner & he's trouble. He said "Instead you can be friend with us" to which Tetsuki replied "Thanks. But no thanks." IN YO FACE YOU SHITTY BULLY CHILD.

Anyways, after school the boy & his friends planed to isolate Tetsuki & bully him . . welp, these boys forget chika "LAME. You guys are super lame." and off they go :'D thank to these shitty children ⬇️

a wonderful unbreakable friendship started! They became best friends who were inseparable. /chikas adorable blush q.q sweet baby bean!!!

When Chika had an argument with his father & left the house, he was bullied by middles schoolers & fought. . . it was then when they started to slowly fall apart.. Chika started to avoid Tetsuki & isolated himself again. Even when Tetsuki tried to ask what happened or tried to help him, Chika would only say "Its got nothing to do with you, do dont butt in." Tetsuki blamed himself "If only I had been there the first time Chika had fought. Maybe we could've run. Maybe we could've feigned defeat. Anything so he didnt have to deal with their attention. Any maybe he would still be . . ." He missed his best friend & was worried what would happen to Chika if he keeps going on like this..

Tetsuki was told by the teacher that his mother had an accident & needs surgery. He's waiting anxious in the hospital, hoping for the best, trying to keep the worst case thoughts away . . thats when Chika comes running into the hospital he was worried!

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS SIMPLY PERFECTION, I CANT!!! ૮₍ ꒦꒳꒦ ₎ა❤

When Tetsukis dad said to Chika that he heard a lot about him from his wife & thanked him for supporting Tetsuki, he asked about his wounds & if they hurt. . thats when Tetsuki learns the reason, why chika kept his distance from him. He didnt want to involve him or put him in danger. "E-Everything's fine! I'm not hanging out with Tetsuki anymore, nobody's seen us together, nobody knows we're friends or anything. I would never drag him into my problems. Never."

Takaoka-papa is as wonderful as Takaoka-mama, jesus the Takaoka family is a bunch of lovely human beings, help me!!!

BONUS:

WHY ARE THEY SO DAMN WONDERFUL??/Tetsuki is so happy for chika *ugly sobbing deluxe*

I'm so glad that that he had Tetsuki right beside him, i dont wanna imagine what would have happened to Chika without his support & affection.

For me, they have one of the most wonderful & most strongest bond ever. I love their friendship so much, seriously i could probably write an essay about them & would never be able go stop. 🥺❤❤❤

Chika went through so much already, he fought his way through life, suffered, so NOW! Let him finally become happy!

Ufff, i didnt mean to make it THIS long.. but there's so much to say about this manga & the relationships chika made or the persons met.ヾ( இ⌓இ)ﾉﾞ

[keiruvieg]

so i watched ep.24 of jjk and let me just say i had no idea who choso was and now i cant stop thinking about him. could you write hc's for him? thanks!

red moon

random Choso headcanons!!

a/n: i've been waiting for this😩😩 HE LOOKS SO FINE IN THE ANIME LIKE SIR? i didn’t put any manga spoilers either and just put in some hcs i could think of. this is so random i didnt classify it also so umm yeah

-uhh hcs with a lil bit of scenarios ig

warning: there’s some grammatical errors please forgive me for that

word count: 976

First of- his voice I DIDNT EXPECT IT TO BE THAT DEEP- but his morning voice just hits different darling,imagine a deep but also rough voice? And the way he calls you in the morning to😩 it'd be so deep darling.

"Goodmorning bub" his voice resonates the room. It feels so good waking up to this guy "Goodmorning Cho" u smiled at him. He gets up out of the bed while rubbing his eyes. You just looked at him with so much admiration. " How was your sleep?" He asked you while rubbing his chest through his shirt."'twas good" you smiled at him which he gladly returned to you

heart eyes

He smells good tho!!!!! Like idc if he's a death painting or someone who come out of the curse womb but he smells really good!! Idrk how to describe it but yall know that musky smells with the hint of chocolates in it-i cant help but imagine he smells like tht

He likes bLACK COFFEE I DONT MAKE THE RULES-you always make sure to prepare him some too specially when he's really tired.

"Cho! Welcome back" your voice really reached him once he entered your shared apartment. He smiles really gently at you. "Im back darling" he says walking directly to you-towards your livingroom in which you make sure was clean and you really made sure that he got his coffee the moment he comes back. "Darling?" He called out to you "Hmm?" " Thank you" he directly said once he heard you hum in which confused you but at the same time warmed your heart. The two of you just bathe in each other's warmth in which a routine for the both of you whenever he gets home.

You!! Make!! Sure!! You!! Do!! His!! Hair!! Everytime!! If it aint you- he doesnt want it. Just the way your gentle hands brush on his hair with much caution not to hurt his scalp just make him melts so much he loves it

He loves your clips, he just find it amusing

He probably cracks his fingers and neck a lot bitch tht so hot

he! HAS!! DEFINED!! ABS!!

sad to say he always wins at uno games, he's really good with chess too!!

Man's really smart- being the oldest must've been hard to him because he needs to make decision not only for himself but also for his siblings to looked up too

Lovesss pet names!!!

He once heard it when he was prob roaming around

Now he calls you darling,bub,honey,baby.

Really good at deep talks too

He probably viewed alot from his 150 years of existence and just like to talk abt it i thought its really cute

Really reallyyyy protective

This man doesnt like to yell at all

Lots and Lots of patience

(being the older sibling kinda gives him that)

His sleeping position varies from him looking like a dead person to him facing a side to him having his arm in his eyes while rubbing his stomach and lastly to him laying on his stomach

He either wakes up early or late, no in between

Really really caring (prob an older brother intuition)

Loves chocolates!!

There was this time you made him chocolate milkshakes and he fucking loves it,now he ask for that everytime

As much as he loves coffee- he cant say no to hot chocolate either

I feel like this guy knows how to bake🤩

He once wear a gray sweatpants and a plain tshirt with his hair down aND YOU CANT HELP BUT STARE AT HIM THAT TIME AND HE JUST LOOKS BACK AT YOU AND YOU GUYS JUST GO ON WITH A STARING CONTEST

His hands are really big, but at the same time really rough

But this guy gives me gentle vibes

Swears alot!!

Prob just some basic fuck,shit,damn it when something doesnt go his way. AND HE ALWAYS SAY THAT WITH A LOW VOICE

You once offer him a tongue piercing- and he just looks at you bewildered

HIS LAUGH IS SO SOFT YET SO FUCKING LOW ITS SO ATTRACTIVE

This man knows how to paint nails too!!

You prob ask him if he wants to cut his hair and he was like sure ill do it but you felt guilty abt his long hair so you'll just be like no❤️

This man is so mature to the point you cant even argue with him anymore

He prob likes to read at some point when he isnt doing anything

He doesnt like swimming at all he just doesnt find it fun

Kinda seeing him liking alcohol too

when..u..ask..questions..he..raises..his..one.. eyebrow..or..he..hums...

Dandelions by Ruth b. kinda gives me relationship vibes with him because he’s so caring and that song suits him so well

He’s a decent cleaner also, expect him to have your apartment//house clean

love language will always be physical affection and reassurements!!

he’s a really good friend too!!

he’ll probably be the one to know all your problems first soo yeah

this guy is a good listener too

he probably hums or sing you to sleep

just imagine a very low voice singing to you

movie nights with him are the best!!

he likes fries alot too

like any typa fries that any fast food can offer

ketchup? ketchup

you gave him a ketchup tshirt one time

he wears it whenever he’s home now

i feel like he like fall the most( the season ok)

and summer too( the type to just chill around and not swim yeah that)

overall this guy will probably the most sweetest person you can think of-the bestest of best friends-most reliable person-most hottest person too-this guy fits the brother//boyfriend//husband//friend type alot so yeah he the best i love him

[0nerd-at-heart0]

How We Got Here

not my gif

A/N: still working on other stories, but had a dream about this so I had to write it.

Steve Rogers x Reader

Word count: 1.6k

Warning: fluff and angst

You had an itch, a problem per se. You needed everyone to like you.  So you tried really hard. To smile, be happy, be likable. 

You never faced a problem of someone not liking you, at least not until recently. Not until you met the one and only Steve Rogers. Or how you liked to call him Mr. Perfect. Perfect in the way he smiles. Perfect in the way he cares. Perfect in the way he is America's golden boy. You two could have been friends. Maybe if the situation was different. 

You joined the avengers not so long ago. With your training as an agent and your bad-ass powers of mind-control. You were the best candidate to join the elite superheroes.  Besides all that you had a talent. A talent with technology. 

Your obsession began when you accidentally broke your dad’s computer at the age of 12. You were so determined to put it back together before he could find out. In doing so you used some spare parts from your also broken Nintendo console and upgraded his computer.  You were considered a prodigy from that point.

A plan was set for you. You were going to become a computer engineer. With the support of your parents, you continue your studies all through college. And a month before graduation Hydra found you. 

They wanted you and they werent going to stop until they had you. Your parents so valiantly fought them. But at the end, they lost the battle and you, well you lost your parents. 

Hydra had a hold of you. They experiment on you like crazy. You were going to be their new super weapon. As much as they tried to turn you. You wouldnt let them, you would be their rag doll to use and abuse. You weren’t about to let your parents die in vain for you to become a monster. 

What felt like centuries of being locked up were actually a month. A month when Nick Fury came bursting in and saved you.  After a much needed shower and sleep, Fury and you had a chat. 

You didnt know how to repay him for what he had done for you, you should have chosen better words than that. Because sooner or later he was asking to train you, use your powers for good. How could you say no to the man who saved you?

Two years of training, Fury took you to meet the Avenger. You arent going to lie, you fangirled hard over them. They were all so welcoming. Even Steve. 

Fury made it your new assignment to learn from them, which meant you were going to  be staying in the compound.  

It was a lot to get used to. You mostly stayed by Wanda’s side. Occasionally you and Peter would train together. Tony was more of a mentor. And Nat loved playing around with your powers. But Steve and you had never had a chance to interact other than the welcoming party.

You really wanted to be friends with him. There was so much you wanted to say but always bite your tongue when he’s around. A friendship could blossom or better yet could have. 

The possibility of a relationship flew out the window when he overheard a conversation you had with Tony one early morning. You wanted to give the compound a technical upgrade. Including everyone suits and equipment. Tony was intrigued, not because he never thought of that because he has, but because of how bold you were. 

You had so much faith in your skills and Tony respected that. He agreed to let you mess around with some of the equipment for starters. You were smiling, you were excited like a child who had too much candy and was on a sugar high. But that sugar high came crashing down as soon as Steve made his appearance.

How could you forget the conversation. The way he yelled. 

“Excuse you! You can't just come in here and demand for change. Our dynamic works, it has worked for a while. I dont know who you think you are but you dont get to mess with our equipment and you certainly dont get to mess with MY team”

His voice rang throughout the whole compound and the image of his nostrils flaring as he yelled haunted you for weeks. 

It still haunts you. You hate being yelled at. Tony told you to ignore him,  that he is too “perfect” for his own good, but even all perfect people have their flaws and his way technology. Hence the name Mr. Perfect. 

Tony and the rest of the gang kept encouraging your journey well all except Steve. Your fighting got better and you were proud to say you were finally in control of your power. 

It was their pleasure to finally declare you one of them. As you all party Steve stood there scowling. Not even Bucky could wipe that scowl off his face as he had a mouth full of cherries. 

You weren’t going to let him get the better of you. If he wanted to be snarky you would be snarky. If he wanted to be cold you would be cold. 

That became your new routine. He pushed you, you pushed back harder. From bumps in the hallways to calling him Mr. Perfect every time you can. 

The team thought you guys would get over this, that over time you two would learn to get along.  But you were always at each other's throats. Missions become harder and harder when there’s a constant argument. 

You werent like this. You knew that but that man was just too infuriating to do nothing about it. 

Currently you were on a way back from a mission with Nat. You two were sent to stop a shipment of guns from being delivered. As smoothly as it was going, Steve was on the comms just nagging how it should have been him and Nat out there. You turned off your comms, knowing the earful you are going the get when you arrive back.

As you walked into the kitchen, there was Steve nursing a glass of what seemed to be bourbon and tapping his foot. You knew what was going to happen. 

Nat made a B-line for her room, not wanting to hear the argument that's about to go down.

You stood in the middle of the room thinking of all the comebacks you can. Ready to fire at any moment. Steve stood up from his seat and made his way towards you. His jaw was set and his fists were clenched. 

He stalked over you and you suddenly felt small.  His stare was burning through you, you have never seen him like this. You looked down at your feet but Steve stopped that movement and he grabbed your chin with his hand forcefully to make you look at him. 

With your chin in his hand he had a full view of your face. As he looked at you, his demeanor changed. The tension in his body was gone, the look on his face soften and the force in his hand was replaced with a gentle touch. 

“ Who?”, he asked.

You were confused, “ who what?”

“ The bruise under your eye, who did that”, he asked, a little more annoyed this time.

He noticed the bruise? It's so small it doesnt even hurt, you forgot it even happened.

“ Oh, that bruise. The mob boss Sergio showed up. It surprised us and in our state of surprise he sucker punched me in the face and got away. But dont worry we got control of the shipment, we will get him eventually”, you stammer out.

He lets go of your face and takes out his phone. He turns around,  “ Tony, yes it's me. Apparently Sergio, the mob boss got away. I need all focus on him, can you do that? Okay thanks!”

“ What was that”, you surprisingly ask. 

His focus goes back to you, “ No one hurts my team and gets away with it”

He turns around to walk away. But stops in his tracks when he hears you murmur, “ You hurt me everyday with your words''

He goes back towards you. “ My words are never meant to hurt you, Y/N,”

“ But they have, since the moment we met.  I let it happen but then I had enough and started to talk back. If one thing I learned from my parents is to always fight back”, you quietly stated. Looking down at your feet shifting weight from one foot to another.

All that energy to fight back was gone. You needed answers. 

He grabbed your face, cradling it between his two hands. This time there was no force but it was a touch so soft, so warming, so welcoming.

“ No words can describe how sorry I am. I let my emotion get the better of me.  You joined the team and you were everything I am not. The person I am is thanks to a serum. But you, you have it all. You have the strength, the smarts and the beauty”, he sincerely apologizes.

“ Beauty?” you question looking into his eyes. Using his eyes are filled with what looks like hate, but right now they are filled with something more, could it be love?

“ I dont deserve this but if you allow me”, he asks, leaning closer. 

You know what he is asking and you too want it.  The ball is in your court.  You move your body closer to him and he takes that as an indication to smash his lips onto yours.

The kiss starts off rough, like you are in need of each other. But it becomes softer and more passionate. An apology in itself. Both of you cant and wont pull away. You were deprived of each other for so long. 

Now you knew, Steve Rogers did like you. Maybe a little more than you would ever imagine.

[lifewithborderline]

Trigger warning

Life never fails to throw things in my path when life is going well. My mental health has been up and down and my relationship with my gf has been up and down but more up lately as ive felt more connected and open with her. My relationship with my little sister has been a bit strained as i did not want to be around her jerk of a boyfriend and her girlfriend. But they broke up with her and needed my support so i had her over and we had a great open conversation. She opened up about a flashback she had and had questions about. She said she was about 5 and she was under the table with no clothes on and just me and my dad were home with her, mom came home early and me and dad came out from somewhere else in the house. We talked about how i have very few memories with my dad but i remember that day. I remember before mom left she put a phone in the bathroom bottom drawer and told me if something happened i should call and she would come home. Well i have no memory of what happened until mom came home early and dad freaked out. I know i called her but i do t remember why or what i said to her. I remember being scared. But being scared wasnt a new feeling when i was with me dad. I dont know why i was scared of him either. I have so many memories of going out with my dad but dont remember what happened when i got in the car. Only one memory i have was being pulled over by a cop because we didnt have seat belts on. My dad told me not to tell mom and if i did i would be in trouble and it was my fault that we got caught. So when my mom got something in the mail about the ticket she asked me and told me it was dads fault for not being responsible and i should have told her. Anyway, my sister bringing up this memory led to an immediate migraine. After she left i started crying, part from the pain in my head and part i didnt know why. I ended up having a panic attack but thankfully my partner was able to help get it under control fairly quickly. Many people have told me that i seem to act like i was abused as a kid and i never believed them. But now im not sure. Did i block memories because i was and couldnt handle it? Theres not much information on repressed memories or anything like that that ive been able to find. But looking up things that kids do when they have been abused sexually it was like describing me to a T. I dont know how to process something that only my body remembers and i dont know if i want to know what happened. It brings so many questions up and so much frustration. Nothing gives me answers. Mom doesnt remember, she has had brain surgery and lost a lot of her memories and she probably blocked some too if it was that bad. My little sister has blanks too. My older sisters dont know or wont say anything. And i dont talk to my dad anymore and dont really want to. I had a few really rough mental days but now i just dont know where to go from here. I havent seen my counselor in a while and am waiting for my appt to come up. I feel so lost, and depressed over something i dont know really happened. Its frustrating that i dont want to be at work, i just wanna crawl into bed and stay there. I cant seem to sleep. When i do sleep its that awful surface sleep that i can head everything happening around me and when i wake up it feels like i havent slept. Now it doesn't help that im getting sick.

Sorry that this probably is long, boring and doesnt make sense. But that how my brain is now.

[cultofbeatles]

parts of pattie boyd’s book wonderful tonight that involved george that stuck out to me:

pattie didn't have any of the beatles records at first and only bought please please me since she was going to be in their film 

“on first impressions, john seemed more cynical and brash than the others, ringo the most endearing, paul was cute, and george, with velvet brown eyes and dark chestnut hair, was the best looking man i’d ever seen.”

during a lunch break pattie and george sat next to each other and were both very shy 

george asked pattie “will you marry me?” and after she laughed he said, “well, if you won't marry me, will you have dinner with me tonight?” and she turned him down.

she deadass invited george to hang out with her and her boyfriend at the time.

pattie and george are both pisces.

once reshoots for the film were happening george asked pattie about her boyfriend, she said she had dumped him, and george once again asked her for dinner. she accepted this time.

brian epstein joined them for their first date.

they sat side by side and were too scared to even hold the others hand.

george got along great with pattie’s family.

pattie liked cynthia lennon but found her difficult to make friends with. 

“she wasn't like my friends, who enjoyed a giggle and some fun: she was rather serious, and often, i thought, behaved more like john’s mother than wife.”

there was a rumor that john and pattie were having an affair and pattie worried cynthia believed it. it wasn't true.

maureen cox (ringo’s girlfriend) was another beatles girl that pattie had a hard time being friends with. but said that she was “jolly and friendly, more relaxed than cynthia.”

pattie got along best with jane asher but saw her the least.

“i felt there was definitely a north-south divide among the wives and girlfriends. and i had the definite impressions that the girls from the north (maureen and cynthia) felt they has a prior clam to the boys.” okay shade, we see you. 

(talking about going on holiday with john, cynthia, and george) “it was a good way to split the group. john and paul were the closest in some ways and immensely creative together, but they clashed if they were in each other’s pockets for too long.”

george asked pattie to cut his hair while on holiday and one of the cleaners found his hair and kept it. 

(talking about george) “he was so beautiful and so funny.”

once a “weird looking man” tried to force his way into pattie and george’s house. pattie thought he was either a salesman or a jehovahs witness. it turns out it was paul in disguise. 

george said the only place he got peace was in the bathroom of his hotel suite.

pattie got a lot of letters saying that if she didn't leave george there would be a curse put on her.

 pattie’s cleaner was a male ballet dancer and “a terrific duster.”

pattie would count the days till george came back. once he jumped into the bed early in the morning to wake her up. 

those two would deadass not lock their doors and were surprised that clothes were going missing...what is with older generations and not locking their doors i -

george would be in the studio from 11 am - 11 pm. sometimes midnight. 

george’s mom loved when john would visit and would always ask him for an “upper.”

when john lennon is your drug dealer.

pattie wasn't a good cook but was optimistic.

“i loved listening to him (play guitar), loved the sound of the guitar in the house. sometimes i would start to talk and he'd be so deep in thought about the lyrics or the melody he was writing that he wouldn't answer. we’d be the same room but he wasn't really with me: he was in his head.”

pattie developed a kidney disorder.

(talking about the beatles dynamic) “in many aspects they were still children. they had few real friends apart from each other, and when they were asked questions they could answer as one - they were so much on each other’s wavelength. if one went to a gallery opening, they all went; if one bought a new car or new house, they all did. if one seemed in danger of taking himself too seriously, the others knocked it out of him.”

one evening george stopped the car and said, “let’s get married. i'll speak to brian.” they went to brian’s house, george went inside, and when he came back in the car he said, “brian says it’s okay. will you marry me? we can get married in january.”

briannnnnnn, is it my turn to get married yet pleaseeeee

pattie invited her absent father to their wedding but he did not come.

at the train station everyone left cynthia behind as she was carrying the suitcases and john was carrying nothing. peter brown had to go back and get her. 

pattie’s quote from the lsd in the coffee moment is hilarious to me. “you've just had lsd. it was in the coffee.” john lennon: “how dare you fucking do this to us?”

pattie and george didn't go to brian’s funeral in liverpool but george sent one single sunflower.

pattie stopped modeling because george didnt like it. and she felt like she lost a part of herself.

maureen was afraid of flies.

during the India trip, mia farrow told john that maharishi was inappropriate with her and john wanted everyone leave after that.

after India george and pattie’s relationship changed.

(talking about george) “some days he would be all right, but on others he seemed withdrawn and depressed. this was new: he had never been depressed before, but there was nothing i could do. it wasn't about me, but i found that my moods started to mirror his...so bad indeed, that at times i felt almost suicidal. i don't think i was ever in any real danger of killing myself, but i got as far as working out how i would do it: i would put on a diaphanous ossie clark dress and jump off beachy head.”

george became more obvious about his cheating. it hurt pattie.

george was gaslighting her.

cilla black was staying at george and pattie’s house and was uncomfortably close to george so pattie left. six days latter george called to tell her the girl was gone and she could come home.

“..but my ego was too fragile and i couldn't see it as anything other than betrayal. i felt unloved and miserable.”

“jane asher came home unexpectedly from new york and found another woman in the house, an american girl - and did what i should probably have done with george...”

george would start to talk about his feelings about paul or john but would stop bc he never wanted to admit that he felt left out. 

“we had once been so close, so honest and open with each other. now a distance had developed between us..”

(about yoko contributing to the beatles break up) “the four had never allowed anyone into the recording studios with them, but yoko not only sat by john throughout every session, he consulted her about the music they were making, which upset paul.”

during the let it be sessions there was a time with george and paul got in a fist fight and george left.

the same day john told George he was leaving the beatles, george’s mom told him she was ill and in critical condition.

i love that she vibe checked george. “he was bringing home bad vibes.”

george continued cheating and they continued arguing.

“my diary is full of entries about my unhappiness and the disintegration of our relationship.”

john came to visit george and pattie’s new mansion and said that it was so dark he didn't know how they could live in it, and george recommended that he took of his sunglasses.

eric clapton being a piece of shit and saying “if you won't be with me pattie i will become addicted to heroin.”

pattie said the only thing she had left was cooking and george took that away.

the couple was suppose to go on holiday together but george cancelled last minute bc he didn't want to go with her. he ended up going to spain.

“when i challenged him, he denied it and tried once again to make me feel as though i was paranoid.”

i'm not even...the whole fucking story of the george and maureen affair PISSES ME OFF more than i can describe. maybe i’ll make a whole other post but omfg i'm fuming. fuck them bothhhh. they deserve no rights.

george harrison, mere days before their wedding anniversary: “let’s get a divorce this year.” what an amazing new years resolution jerk.

ringo offered pattie a job.

when george told ringo about the affair pattie was so mad she dyed her hair red. 

george loved pattie’s little brother and was his role model but he wouldn't come to the man’s wedding even though he was invited.

the night pattie told george she was leaving him george came to bed in sadness and said, “don't go.”

“i'm going.”

george invited pattie to dhani’s eighteenth birthday party bc she “had to be there. she was family.”

george had become more of an older brother to her now.

pattie had learned about john’s death from eric clapton and immediately went to the beatles office in london to hang out with everyone there.

(after finding out about george’s death) “i couldn't bare the thought of a world without george. when i left him for eric, he had said that if things didn't work out, ever, i could always come to him and he would look after me. it was such a selfless, loving, generous thing to say and it had always been tucked away at the back of my mind. now that sense of security had gone.”

the last time they saw each other was when george called saying he wanted to visit her new cottage and see her.

pattie didn't go to his funeral nor did she go to the memorial concert that took place a year later. but she spent that day high on the mountains thinking of george. “i was happy to mourn him alone and in my own way.”

she would have dreams of george after his death. “oh george, it’s so wonderful that you are alive after all, this is so fabulous; i knew they had all made a mistake.”

and then she’d wake up.

[honexjams]

just was watching an ftm tiktok compilation that featured kalvin garrah and it got me heated, i have a LOT to say about him and his influence but i will condense it to this:

all trans people have an era of discovery and experimentation, for some that includes experimenting with pronouns online to see what theyre comfortable with. the rise in people IDing with they/them or they/she or they/he is infinitely more to do with more trans kids feeling comfortable to experiment than it is with unconcerned cis people wanting clout. (i know some cis people do ID as lgbt for attention, i grew up in a very depressed/depressing and drug-laden small town where its not unheard of for people, especially young people, to go to strange lengths for relief, comfort, and entertainment. this small amount does not tend to go through the worst of the treatment i had as a young, binary trans person in this parish, which alone will garuntee those folks didnt ID this way 'for funzies' very long)

writing off all of these young people as simply wanting attention is harmful to both nonbinary people directly and binary trans people who are young and trying to figure out what theyre comfortable with.

i can say for myself personally, that i am very sensitive so if the trans online sphere was as critical in 2012 as it is today, it probably wouldve thrown a wrench in my personal process of understanding my feelings and realizing the transphobic responses i got from coming out were just that and not the absolute truth. which wouldve in turn left me IDing as non-binary or nothing at all online for a longer time because i wouldve been more concerned with my fear of seeming like i wanted attention online than actually trying to nut up and come out at school or do anything i needed to do irl for my comfort.

i first listed my pronouns on a writing site thats mostly barren last i checked, and what i put was "he/him/they/them" because i was at a place where i was caught between what i felt was true about myself, and having just come out to my mother as an 11-year-old and her not believing me.

demonizing non binary pronouns and identities will 100% effect this generation of trans kids because for those with no support, they will turn to the internet. when both their real life and the online spaces they go to are highly critical and unaccepting of nonbinary identities, any kid less than 100% sure theyre a binary trans person will suffer at the very least an extended period of confusion and denial, and at worst never fully come to grips with who they are.

ive always felt really strongly about this but i feel as i hit the 10 year mark of knowing i was trans (and still being pretty young at 20yo) its a good time to express these feelings a little more formally than i tend to. especially because i fit into the like, Ideal Trans Experience of knowing i was a boy at a young age (i mentioned finding trans people at 11 but i have Very early memories of telling other kids on the playground that 'i was born a boy who looked like a girl so my parents raised me as a girl' which is dummy accurate to a trans experience often shown in media yk).

(this next paragraph is all personal anecdotes which are important to my point but if you dont care feel free to skip over it)

I do very much believe and accept nonbinary people as truth because i can understand how someone can feel like something that isnt understandable to the society they grew up in because that was my experience as an lgbt person in the deep south. I remember hearing my mom at a local parade (a Very Community-Focused thing where i grew up), see two teen girls holding hands walking down the street and saying "theyre a little young for that, huh?" to a friend, I remember asking her what 'gay' meant as a kid bc ofc i heard it at school and just wanted padding for if i ever said it out loud because as i knew it, wasnt a curse word but it was Bad Word (bc i knew from hearing it around school that it was a Bad Word)i wanted to know what it meant, she said "some boys date boys, its not really a Good lifestyle, but sometimes they do it". Ive heard many transmedicalists say 'how can you have dysphoria for nothing?' as in how can someone be agender. I am a binary trans man in a committed relationship with another man and I am frankly bewildered as to how a binary trans person can believe such a thing as 'the only genders that exist are ones i know about, even after discovering my own queerness' because I can perfectly understand the correlation between binary and nonbinary trans people. For me, growing up as a teenager in the south in the 2010s, gays were vaguely accepted but still ostrisized, and in school i had a classmate who i knew is a binary trans man because i still know him now, and I, my insecure, weak, self concious self emailed my teachers about my pronouns and name while he was still being called his birthname in class and my cousin, who sat in front of me next to him (thats how small a fown this is) was the only person who called him his chosen name, which was how i figured he was like me.

I personally dont want bottom surgery even tho i Fully identify as a binary male, I simply came to the understanding that a 'cis penis' is not something I will ever have so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ may aswell get used to the things i can tolerate, unlike my chest and 'feminine' features that T has changed.

Long story short if You are a binary trans person who doesn't get what the whole nonbinary thing is all about, simply try describing your own trans experience as if you were really not a boy or girl. As if you really, through your deepest soul-searching, came up with the fact that you simply dont identify with neither male nor female.

Back to the original point of binary trans people in a self descovery phase, if You are a binary trans person? try to remember the first time you felt really invalidated in a way that truly struck you as like, a direct attack on how you feel (like how those depressing 'relatable posts' do), did you ever feel like if that was something you experienced in a crucial part of your discovery period that it wouldve hurt a lot? maybe even to the point where it surpressed how you felt about yourself? All i want from the trans community is to not let anyone else feel that way. I truly do fear for young trans people and how this exclusive environment stunts them.

[fatbottombucky]

Seventeen *Peter Parker x Rogers!Reader* 2/12

Summary: Y/N Rogers is Steve’s Rogers great-great-great niece. Captain America recently became her guardian due to unfortunate circumstance, and Peter couldn’t be happier. Although he’s never talked to the girl, like ever. Due to failing grades Y/N purposes a deal to the young boy, a deal that would see the nerdy boy and popular beauty become close. Too close for Steve’s likening…

~Based upon the song Seventeen from Heathers~

Pairings: Peter Parker x [F]Rogers!Reader // [F]Rogers!Reader x OC!

Ratings: Mature (+18)

Warnings: Violance & abuse; mentally and physically. Suggestions of r*pe, it’s not detailed but there’s suggestions of it. Toxic boyfriend/past toxic family relationships

Authors Note: Also to me reader would be a red head (hence why I use Cheryl Blossom gifs) only becomes Steve’s mother is an Irish immigrant, so red head would run in the family. Reader is in no way described, it’s up to you how she’s depicted. civil war didnt happen

Chapter One

Chapter Two: We're Not Special, We're Not Different

Peter's POV

"Wait, you asked Y/N?" Ned asked in a rush, Peter looked at his best friend, "You actually talked to her?" Peter nodded, shrugging like he didn't have a mini panic attack when asking the girl yesterday for her help. "Ballsy, even for you."

Peter shakes his head, carrying his books because he had lost another backpack and didn't want to admit it to May. Walking to school he had tried not to think about how today would go, the fact he'd be hanging with the cheerleaders was something he didn't think would happen. But somehow he managed to get the courage, which is dumb. He can fight bad guys, face evil and do what needs to be done, but talking to pretty girls? Another level of confidence has to be needed and Peter didn't have that confidence.

"I think it's cool that she agreed," Ned nods slightly, "I mean, she's always been nice."

They continue to walk to school together, finally arriving and hearing the soft beat of the music coming from the field. Peter looks towards the field, stopping briefly to see the cheerleaders mid routine. You're front and centre, of course, as cheer captain. Yelling out numbers that go along with the beats. Ned raises his eyebrows whilst watching, he gives Peter an eye roll before walking into the schools building.

Ned has never cared that much about the school's hierarchy, he doesn't believe in it. But that's mostly because Ned gets along with everybody, it's hard to find someone that truly hates Ned because he's just so easy to get along with. Peter, does think there's a hierarchy believing he is one of the lower levels and you're top. He has never met someone like you, someone that is able to consume the energy of a room- and he's met Tony Stark. You're able to control a room and everyone listens to you, looks to you also.

he often wonders why you've never run for student body president, maybe it's to give someone else a chance.

"Peter," He snaps out of his thoughts and looks at Mj, she has an eyebrow raised, "you're being super creepy."

Peter rolls his eyes, "Shut up." He follows her inside, "Never normally get to see their routines."

"That's because they like to keep it a secret," Mj rolls her eyes and bitterness laces her words, "like it's something we're all excited to see when they show us during the games. They never normally practice this early anyway."

Peter stands by Mj's locker as she opens it, "That's because during the free period they're modelling for me," that catches her attention, "I asked yesterday and Y/N said she and her girls would love to."

"You're basing your art piece on them?" An eyebrow raised in confusion, "I don't know what expected but it wasn't taking photo's of cheerleaders."

"I'm not taking photos of cheerleaders, I'm taking photos of girls and trying to catch... an essence." He smiles at Mj narrowing her eyes, "all will be revealed when I show my piece."

**

"Peter," your voice cuts through the empty gym, a bright smile upon your face and wearing normal clothes- not that you don't. "So, we all brought outfits, what's the theme you'd like?"

Peter smiles and raises his eyebrows, camera in his hands again.

"Uhh, I don't mind," he shrugs out of awkwardness, "I guess, what you girls feel comfortable in. Normal, nice outfits are fine."

You nod once and turn around heading towards the locker rooms, it's roughly ten more minutes till you arrive with the girls in tow. All laughing and talking amongst themselves, you place a hand on your hip and cock your head, waiting for some kind of instruction from Peter. He coughs lightly and smiles at the group, giving a small wave and receives a round of chuckles and hellos.

"I think, we take a few here and then some outside?" he asks and fiddles with the settings, "if that is okay?"

"Peter, we're here for you, it's whatever you want- within reason, of course."

They start posing for Peter with you standing beside him, watching as your girls do the photoshoot.

Y/N POV

Watching Peter change his demeanour threw you off. In all the years you've known Peter he's never really been assertive, he usually keeps to himself and has a small selection of friends, even as a child he was the same. But a camera in hand and models in front of him, he seemed to change. Telling them what he wanted, what looked better and changing the settings to fit with the lighting and the model, it was... weird.

But a good type of weird.

You remained off to the side, helping the girls stay presentable and fixing their hair and outfits when not being photographed. Peter wanted to capture a certain essence, of which he didn't tell you what it was, but you hoped during this hour you'd been able to help him capture it.

"Did you want your photo taken?" His voice startles you and you frown, "I can if you want?"

"Sure, why not?"

You walk over to the picnic benches and sit on the table, feet propped on the chair and hands behind you. Your body tilted towards Peter, a smile curving at your lips. He takes a few photos of you, you changing positions every couple of snaps before calling it a day.

"So, did you get what you needed?"

Peter smiles and nods, "yeah, there's a lot I can use." You grin and nod, "I'm sure the girls will appreciate you sending the ones you don't use, we love a good photo for Instagram."

"Oh, yeah. Of course, I'll send them over Facebook or something." You walk slowly back inside the school with Peter, the girls going on ahead.

You bite your lip and look at Peter, "I have a favour to ask actually," Peter frowns and looks at you. "It's really embarrassing, so you kinda have to agree to it. I need a tutor, I'm falling behind in classes and in order to continue being captain and going here I have to keep my grades up. It's been... a struggle, I guess. Didn't realise it was affecting me till my uncle got my report card," Peter nods slowly, "you're the smartest guy I know, can you tutor me? I'll pay or whatever."

The bell for next class rings, you give a gentle sigh. Of course, Peter wouldn't want to help you. You aren't friends, you've never been close to him. You kinda thought that maybe he'd be empathetic to your situation, losing both of your parents considering he did too.

"Yeah," he breathes suddenly and grins when you sigh with relief, "after school, okay?"

You nod with a smile, "Definitely, thank you. I can drive you to mine and then back home to May before dinner. Meet me at my locker, kay?" You walk away looking over your shoulder to seeing Peter nodding and walking off with a small smile of his own.

Thank god he agreed.

"What was that about?" You almost jump at the sound of your boyfriends' voice, eyeing Parker's retreating figure down the school corridor.

You shrugged, "Us cheerleaders helped Peter by doing a photoshoot, so he's gonna tutor me after school." That has him frowning, "What? I need help and I promised my uncle that I'd get help, Peter is the smartest boy in my class."

"I can just get Josh to get you cheat sheets."

You shake your head, "No way. I'm not cheating," you scoff slightly and walk off to class, not bothering to stop at the call of your name.

**

"Thankfully, my uncle is gone," You tell Peter and place your bag on the sofa, "so don't worry about Captain America creepin' around."

Peter chuckles lightly and sits on the sofa, you grab two glasses of water and walk back, sitting beside him and opening up your textbooks. You spend the first 15 minutes showing him where you're struggling, what you're finding difficult and how he can help you turn it around.

After an hour you sigh and flop back against the sofa, Peter laughs at your dramatics and puts down his own pen, shutting all of the textbooks and allowing you to take a break. He probably needs one also because it hasn't been easy, especially for a first tutoring session. You didn't think it would be this bad but it is. How you allowed yourself to get like this, to forgetting almost every equation and solution.

Did your parents' death really affect you that much?"

"How are you holding up?"

You look at Peter, he's sat on the floor and cross-legged, he's looking up at you with a curious but genuine smile.

"I'm good," you shrug, "I mean, living here with a man that I hardly know isn't ideal. Also, he really doesn't want to be my guardian but he's a good person, I guess."

Peter nods, "It's hard having to readjust your life. Moving into a new place, living with someone that shouldn't be looking after you but has to. You feel a sense of guilt, because you shouldn't be their responsibility."

"You just said what I've been feeling," he smiles and nods, "I think everyone thinks it must be so cool to live with an Avenger. It isn't. He's hardly around, I suppose it's not a bad thing, but it can just be so lonely. Plus, he doesn't care. He doesn't know me and wouldn't have if he lived in his time. I hate superheroes," you sigh lowly and look up at the ceiling.

"All superheroes?"

You nod once, "They're out there saving the world, that's cool. I know they can't save everyone, and I don't expect Iron Man to swoop down and help me out, I mean, I live with Captain Fucking America, but I doubt if anything were to happen to me some superhero will be there to help me out."

Peter is silent as he thinks about what you just said.

"They claim everyone is important, but I don't think they care about...us," Peter frowns when he looks at you, "would any of them risk their lives for me? I don't think so."

Peter tilts his head, "I don't know, I think a couple would save you no matter the risks."

"We're not special, Peter," you tell him honestly.

~tags; comment or message me to be tagged~

@nicnicw06 @missshadowpup @herre-gud-nej @anasteas @letsnottalkaboutendgame @michaels-endtime @spiderchins @emmamarshmellow @romance-geek @thearcticmonkeysbitches @lastkiiiiss @daddyloonglegss @expellimarvelous​ @lbuck121​ @of-virtuoso​ @thebloodrobin​ 

[twstdreams]

hello!! if it's fine with you, can i request some headcanons/scenarios(whichever you prefer)with the savanaclaw boys with an s/o that has a very chill and aloof personality, self-deprecating, and really used to pain? like "relax, i didnt go in thinking i would come out unscatched", but deep down theyre a sweet cuddlebug that's afraid of saying what they truly mean cuz they grew up in a place that didnt allow weakness?? thank you for time uwu, you can just ignore me if you dont feel like it.

I’m going to choose headcanons! Thanks for taking into consideration my preferences, let me know if you like these!

Savanaclaw Students with a s/o putting up a strong front:

Leona Kingscholar

Chill and aloof aren’t the first words Leona would use to describe his ideal type, but he does find his s/o’s self-deprecating nature and jokes rather amusing, if only for the fact they were so foreign. Arrogance is abundant in Savanaclaw, him not excluded, so someone who puts themself down is almost funny

At first, Leona doesn’t notice. He’s surrounded by Savanaclaw brawlers, and of course, in a fight, someone comes out bruised. So when his s/o says they’re fine, he believes them. No one makes it into Savanaclaw if they can’t handle a couple of scratches

When Leona does notice depends on how invested he is in the relationship. In the early stages, he honestly couldn’t be bothered. This relationship is for fun and he’s not here to unpack trauma, especially with someone who puts up such a cold persona. 

Given s/o grew up for years in an environment where weakness was frowned upon, and given how much strength is valued in Savanaclaw, s/o is probably really good at hiding their wants. The combo of their proficiency and Leona’s lack of effort means it goes unnoticed

However, Leona does notice how soft his s/o can be when they nap. When did their body get so close to his? He brushes it off in the beginning, whatever, maybe they roll around in their sleep as long as it doesn’t disturb his nap

But consistently, his s/o will end up by his side, they just can’t help it. It’s the prime opportunity, but if Leona ever brings it up with that confident smirk, his s/o dismisses it with the words flying out of their mouth before they even really think about it

This side is unexpected, but it makes Leona quite happy. Who knew his s/o had such a soft side? He’s going to enjoy this, and after some teasing, perhaps he’ll indulge his sweet s/o a bit too

Jack Howl

The fact that Jack and his s/o got together at all is a miracle in it of itself

They’re chill and aloof, Jack actively pushes people away, and neither go under the category of friendly

It wouldn’t be surprising if it was specific situations that put them together rather than either actively seeking out the other

Jack does not notice, and will not, that his s/o being used to pain isn’t of their own volition. The strong can take a couple hits and the point of fighting isn’t to come out unscathed, it’s to make sure you win and that your opponent got hurt more.

Neither knows how to show an ounce of vulnerability and it leads to lots of fights and miscommunications

Honestly, if it continues and neither fully let down their walls, the relationship could fall apart. Jack is convinced he doesn’t need anyone and it makes his s/o hesitant to open up about their true wants and needs. 

But, if by some bout of trust or perhaps on the verge of a breakdown, his s/o decides to open up, it’ll probably save them. At first, it’ll hurt and put the pain in growing pains. Jack isn’t used to openness and freezes up. He might spit out harmful words in the heat of the moment.

However, given some time to process, he does try to acknowledge his s/o’s feeling, fumbling and awkward but honest. It takes time, he’s not gonna spontaneously leave himself exposed even if his s/o has done exactly that.

He has to adjust every day, this sweet side of his s/o has thrown him for such a loop

If his s/o is sweeter to him, probably behind closed doors since this is a new experience for both of them, he might reciprocate over time. Nothing big, but he stiffens less, maybe he slings an arm around, perhaps a couple pats on the back

It’s a learning curve for them both, but part of him is warmed that his s/o would leave themselves so defenceless in front of him. In terms of past experience, the two have more in common than they expected

Ruggie Bucchi

Ruggie is pretty observant, so he might pick up on his s/o hidden wants depending on how good his s/o is at concealing their true feelings. If there are cracks in the facade, Ruggie could notice them

While he might be the fastest to notice, he isn’t so quickly willing to indulge his s/o outright. He waits a bit, leaving hints here and there, seeing if his s/o will willing admit it to them. 

Also, he won’t admit it, but if he was wrong and his s/o didn’t have a hidden sweet side, it’d be a pretty embarrassing debacle 

It’s a bit of push and pull with Ruggie testing the waters. He doesn’t want to leave himself vulnerable if his s/o won’t do the same. It leads to some peculiar and tense moments where they both wait with baited breaths

If his s/o decides to open up, Ruggie will be pleased and also a little smug 

He gladly gives them hugs, probably in private so no one gets a chance to use his s/o’s vulnerability against them. Anyone who does try will pay the price

[ambersky0319]

Dumb idea from a tired Rayne: Logan, who doesn't want to date Roman, keeps telling him "___ and then maybe I'll date you" so later you have Roman looking practically like a fucking clown as he tries to recite Shakespeare in full garbwhile also trying to speak in a perfect accents with the mind palace looking like a galaxy, only for Roman to find out after while he was practicing his brother and Deceit asked Logan out and he said yes, and he tried to tell Roman but he refused to listen.

This doesn’t have a happy ending, but it’s also not a bad ending?

Ships : One-sided Logince, Platonic Logince, Romantic Intruloceit

Warnings : Leading people on, miscommunication, let me know if there's anything else that I should add!

Masterpost 

----------------------------------------

It wasn't that Logan didn't like Roman. He did, in complete honesty, Logan loved spending time with Roman, he loved being Roman's friend. But that's where it ended.

Being Roman's friend.

So when Roman confessed that he had feelings for Logan, he didn't know what to do. How do you reject someone, and then say it's because he just got into a relationship with said someone's brother and his partner?

But that's the thing. Logan tried to say that. But every time he got near the answer 'no' Roman would fall into another round of rambling that lasted anywhere between five to twenty minutes. It got to the point that Logan just... Gave up on trying to outright reject him.

Instead, he started giving Roman impossible tasks to do.

He didn't expect it to backfire so terribly on him though.

Logan sighed loudly as he collapsed onto the couch within the dark commons, right by Deceit who set his book down to console his annoyed boyfriend. Remus was nowhere to be found, probably in the Imagination. Logan just wished he could cuddle them both right now, that would surely cheer him up.

Deceit gently pulled him into his arms, pressing soft kisses to his temple as he started to massage Logan, slowly drawing circles on his back. Logan made a soft, strangled noise as he curled closer to Deceit.

"What's happened now?" Deceit hummed. He and Remus knew of Logan's predicament, and both knowing how well Roman took rejection, weren't able to give Logan any ideas on how to tell Roman that he wasn't interested, not without letting their own relationship slip.

"He- He actually learned Latin and performed not five, but ten original poems! And! He actually changed his sash to that awful gray that he hates!" Logan let his head fall into Deceit's neck, huffing and shaking his head.

"I told him that he needs to perform an entire Shakespeare play all by himself looking like Pennywise using time-accurate accents and in garb and that the entire mind palace must look like a galaxy."

Deceit began threading his fingers through Logan's hair. "What are you going to do if he actually succeeds in this one?"

"Honestly?" Deceit hummed in confirmation. "I have no fucking clue."

Silence filled the dark commons for a long while. Logan was far less tense now but refused to move out of Deceit's lap. Not that Deceit minded. But then Deceit broke the comforting quiet.

"Remus and I were talking earlier, about maybe to put a stop to this we just... All come out."

Logan shifted only slightly, frowning against Deceit's neck. "I thought that's what we were trying to avoid?"

"Well, we've been dating for what, four months now? And Roman has been doing this for about three. No matter how the others react, we'll stay together, and Roman can work on moving on and accepting that you aren't interested." Deceit continued to run his fingers through Logan's hair, no knots remained but he knew it was helping Logan relax. "We're ready to come out. If you aren't though, that's fine, and Remus and I can always help you come up with something-"

Before Deceit could finish, there was a crash as the Imagination door slammed open, and Remus came stumbling down the stairs cursing up a storm.

"Remus?" Logan asked hesitantly when Remus started to tug at his hair and pace. Remus barely glanced at them.

"I fucked up, guys I fucked up royally- Roman's pissed, he's so incredibly pissed oh my god, guys-"

"Hey, hey, Remus," Logan shifted out of Deceit's arms a bit for the first time in quite a while. "Come sit down, and maybe explain what happened?"

Remus did, settling down on Deceit's other side and welcoming the embrace from both Logan and Deceit. He then went on to explain how Roman had unconsciously wandered into Remus's part of the Imagination, where Remus had been talking with Hope about Deceit and Logan, getting suggestions from Hope on how to handle the situation if Logan didn't want to tell anyone yet. He described how Roman now knew that they were all together, and how he looked so incredibly heartbroken but also so pissed, and Remus wasn't able to tell if it was at Remus and Deceit, or Logan.

Once he was done, Logan groaned loudly, head falling back to hide in Deceit's shoulder. He said something, but it was muffled by Deceit's shirt. Remus clung to Logan, burrowing his face in Logan's hair. "Maybe we can just give Roman amnesia, y'know, and no one will know!"

"I don't think giving your brother a concussion is a good idea, Remus."

"At least it's an idea!"

Logan shook his head, taking a deep breath. "No, I'm going to have to talk with him. But... but I think I'll talk to Roman tomorrow. Hopefully he'll be willing to listen, I doubt he will be right now."

"You sure, Lo?"

Logan nodded, moving so he could press a light kiss to Remus's cheek. "I just really want to spend time with you both. And maybe this'll be safer."

"Alright..."

-

The next morning, Logan rose up in front of Roman's room. It was too early for Patton or Virgil to be awake, but Roman often got up around the same time as Logan. He knocked lightly on the door, and it took a minute and Logan was just about to knock again when he heard a lock click and the door slowly opened. Logan bit his lip as he felt his heart figuratively break at the sight before him, Roman with irritated eyes and hair so tangled one brush would never be able to help tame it. He looked so pale, too, and he wobbled slightly in place as he processed just who was at his door.

When it finally caught up to him that it was Logan, Roman attempted to shut the door. But Logan stuck his foot out to stop it. "We really need to talk-"

"I don't want to see you, Logan."

"Please, Roman?"

". . ."

"I just want to explain things. You don't need to actually respond, but you need to hear me out. And then, if you no longer want to be friends, then I'll just leave you alone from now on. I won't even take long, I just need five minutes."

Roman hesitated, before sighing in defeat and he sulked back into his room, letting Logan enter. He sat on the bed and just stared at Logan. "Five minutes. Go."

Logan took a deep breath. "First, I wanted to apologize. It was wrong of me to lead you on like I did, getting your hopes up that I might reciprocate your feelings when in fact I wasn't only not interested, but was seeing other sides.

"Next, the only reason why I kept doing that is because any time I tried to tell you no, or that I wasn't interested, you would cut me off, or refuse to listen. I tried each and every time to get you to listen and I failed, so I gave you more and more ridiculous tasks thinking you would eventually give up. And then you didn't. And I just had no idea what to do, because I still wanted to be frends, I love being friends with you, but I don't like you how you like me and I just- I'm um, I'm just really sorry, Roman."

Logan held his breath as he watched Roman for any reaction, holding Roman's gaze. Roman took in a shuddering breath, before glancing to the side, frown tugging at his lips.

"And you were with my brother and Deceit the entire time...?"

"... Yes."

Roman closed his eyes for a moment, processing everything that Logan had said. When it seemed that he finally did, he exhaled slowly, still not looking at Logan.

"I'm still mad, Logan, I'm still hurt. But... But I don't want to not have you in my life. I still want you around. It wouldn't be the same with you gone- and I- fuck, Logan, I'm sorry for not listening... I should have, this all could've been avoided." Roman held his head in his hands. "Just... can, can we come back to this in a few days?"

Logan nodded hastily. Roman glanced at him for a moment before looking back down at the floor. "I'll see you later, Logan."

Logan hugged himself as he left Roman's room, summoning a water bottle for him before he left. God, this wasn't how he wanted things to turn out...

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[apprentice-alwyn]

Not my apprentices, but I wanted to share these OCs of mine because I love em.

These two ladies are Soraya (left) and Vitalia (right), two noblewomen, and members of the Vesuvian court. Vitalia is a born and raised Vesuvian noble, while Soraya is from a noble Prakran family.

They met in their early twenties in Prakra. Vitalia was living in Prakra to study at one of their academies, where she met Soraya as a fellow student. They became close, slowly falling in love, and when Vitalia finished her studies and returned to Vesuvia at the insistence of her family, they kept in contact via letter, and the ocassional visit, for years.

It was planned for Vitalia to move to live in Prakra with Soraya after they were married. However when the plague struck Vesuvia, and hit Vitalias family hard, her duty to her family demanded she return to Vesuvia to secure her familys estate, and care for her remaining relatives. Knowing that by returning she would be putting herself at risk, and not wanting to drag Soraya into risking herself as well, Vitalia intended to return to Vesuvia alone. However Soraya insisted on returning with her regardless of the risks, because she didnt want her wife to face it alone. Vitalia was relieved to not be alone, but terrified of the possibility of losing Soraya to the red plague. Fortunately, they both managed to avoid falling sick during Vesuvias plague.

Both Vitalia and Soraya found Count Lucio tiresome, and did their best to avoid him, and make themselves scarce at court while he was alive. They are supportive of Nadias leadership, and begin to engage more at court in the time after Nadia wakes up.

Vitalia

Age: 35

Vitalia is a skilled historian and poet. She grew up knowing Valerius, and their relationship can be best described as 'distant frenemies'. At one point their families were pushing to pair them together, and they both do their best to pretend it never happened. Vitalia grew up being raised with a strong sense of duty and responsibility to her family and their position, however this is a framework she internally struggles with and feels restricted by. For years she has struggled between doing things out of family duty, and doing things for herself and what she wants. The choice to study in Prakra is one example of a time she chose her own desires over that of her family, who strongly hinted their wish for her to remain in Vesuvia for her studies. The plan to live in Prakra once married was another of these decisions, though it unfortunately could not be fulfilled.

Soraya

Age: 38

Soraya is a talented mathematician and astronomer. Shes fascinated by the stars and the inner workings of the universe. Soraya is bold, and comfortable in her own skin, and she faces the world head on. Growing up, her pursuit of her interests was only encouraged by her family. Soraya is also the one most fond of making plans and being prepared. She throws herself into her decisions wholeheartedly, while having extensive mental account of the risks and possibilities they have, and how to face each one of them.

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

Hi, i hope you are feeling good! Im better than yesterday so i can finally answer you. First of all: i am so happy that you shared your fanfiction! i had a great time reading it! Im always open for more recs. Maybe your all time favorites? Or if you know some good h/c these are always welcome :) And YESSS please send me a link to your fanvids. -- yeah 13rw was super cursed. haha i also watched season 1 but thankfully i was able to sto watching becaue i could feel it making me feel bad (1)

I agree the suicide scene was just cringe (but i think i remember reading somewhere that they cut it out? idk) and overall this show just gave me the feeling that there was no hope and things are always getting worse instead of better and i hated that. but enough of that cursed show. can i just say i really admire how open you are about your feelings (like being suicidal and that) i realy, really admire this about you. i have so much respect for you that you can just share your feelings here (2)

I have never heard of ace attorney but that story you described sounds really good. and i get reading sth that isnt good for you and still doing it (because im a dumb bitch too :D) -- okay i might accept that Root will never grow on you (but i thought so too and look at me now :D) but i havent fully given up yet :)-- yes thats the girl. i think it was really sweet when she said that to Shaw. and i think Shaw appreciated it that someone tried to figure her out instead of just writting her off (3)

Shaw is really cool and definately also a badass and in combination with John its just great! but you will have to suffer trough some Shoot.  but maybe, maybe you will end up not hating Root. hope dies last (idk how the saying goes in english, sorry). -- Did you ever ship Caresse (in a romantic way)? cause sometimes i do and sometimes i dont and i get so confused about it :) but i think most of the time i like them more as friends. anyway her death really sucked and you are right with (4)

her death and them losing the library it felt like a different show (i mean i guess it was a different show then). i kinda get your feelings about the destroyed library because i also really loved it (and im really bad with change) but i dont think it affected me as much as you. but yeah i still missed the library very much. and while the subway is a really cool new place its not the same. (also the subway is super dark cause its underground and idk it just makes the whole thing less homey) (5)

Yes he is everything! such a great, interesting character and i wish there were more John-centric episodes! (like ones that explored his character more). that was one of my biggest dislikes of the later seasons that John wasnt featured as much anymore. i think he chuckled a few times in the show but a real laugh? i cant remember one :(  -- He did promise Joss to talk to Tyler so @show were is that talk? -- if seen the vid its awesome! thehiddenmemory has some great poi vids! (6)

yes i think so too. Like Grace would probably be relived and thankful that Harold is still alive and maybe they would even try again but eventually she would figure out that she cant trust him after lying to him for so long or sth like that and Harold would ofc realize that he is in love with someone else now. And then he finds out that John is still alive but stayed away cause he didnt want to get in the way of Harold/Grace. But then Harold comes back. And when they meet again John is like (7)

you came back for the machine? what about Grace. But Harold tells him he came back for John not the machine and then they kiss and have a happy live with Bear (sorry i got a little carried away here :D). -- Yeah Zoe is really hot and she needed more screen time! -- i hope you have a good day and i hope i havent messed up the numbers on the asks! :)

Hi ! I'm finally free from the resits, I hope you're doing okay with your thesis 💛

Sorry for replying late, there was the exam resits, and I read a bunch of fics, then I fell into pokémon and started bingewatching it. (Also I had a breakdown during therapy today so I'm gonna finish writing my answer to distract myself - it's been sitting in my drafts for so long rip)

Thank you !! It was a very personal thing, I'm really happy you liked it !! Your support and your comment made me thrive 💛💛

Tbh I was surprised to see it get kudos given that the only intended audience was my self projecting ass 🤣

So, my fav fics (my fav fic ever is in French, rip to y'all bc it's so good):

I am, I am, I am by RavenWhitecastle

Actually check the entire series this work belongs to: The Sinner and the Saint. I haven't finished it yet but I love it (I just skipped the explicit fics bc I don't like smut or sub!John)

Breaking All The Rules by talkingtothesky

Outsider Perspective by Neery

A Really Private Person by astolat

Hamartia (the hero's fatal flaw) by astolat

If Only for Tonight by spacemutineer

From Here, Where? by AKMars

Stroll by TheaNishimori

and the world was gone by lunarcorvid

a light that never goes out by vindicatedtruth

Limitations. by Michaelssw0rd

Reel you in and spit you out by Michaelssw0rd

All I Want For Christmas Is You by richmahogany

By What Power I Am Made Bold by brinnanza

Aftershocks by darringtons

At Certain Hours It All Breaks Down by nogoaway

construction of a kingdom by the_ragnarok

You Take Me Higher Than I've Gone by talkingtothesky

All Together Now by beadedslipper

I'll Let the Waters Still by brinnanza

Birthday Tradition by talkingtothesky

Things My Father Taught Me by KRyn

Truth is in the Eye of the Beholder by infiniteeight

Better Luck This Time by Lisztful

Motivations by JenNova

What's On the Table by cortue

In Another Life by Della19

I Thought We Already Were by talkingtothesky

Misunderstandings by thisstarvingartist

This is already fucking long omg so for the h/c: my bookmarks filtered with Rinch and h/c

Here's my playlist, it's mostly Rinch, but there are a few not Rinch vids, plus some scenes I like

This is long enough already, so it's time for a read more. Also, warning, we be talking about suicide

The portrayal of suicide is cringe most of the time anyway. If my suicidal ass can find a list of suicide methods and their lethality in 2 mins on Google you'd think writers who are supposed to do some research would be able to find them too but no they're like "ah yes slicing wrists" even though it's literally the shittiest method 🙄 (I just don't understand why slicing wrists seems to be such a popular method in the collective imagination ? It's weird.) At least in 13rw she took aspirin and cut herself vertically instead of horizontally but still, no hesitation wounds, and she dies even though she only got 4 wounds iirc ? I know more about jumping off bridges than slicing wrists, but it kinda sounds like bullshit to me. Also Netflix once suggested "beyond the reasons" to me, it's a sort of discussion with the cast and crew of 13rw and the only thing I remember is a moment of intellectual masturbation abt how they "opened a discussion abt suicide" 😬😬😬

They may have cut it out it's not impossible, idk I didn't hear about it, but it's not like I look for info about this dumpster fire lol. Maybe they faced backlash ? Wouldn't be surprised given how shit the show was. And yeah it has a hopeless vibe, I mean that's how it be when you're suicidal, but I didn't like it either.

You're sweet 💜💜 it's interesting that you find it respectable or admirable, I don't have an external point of view, so I'm just like 🤷 it is what it is. I understand where you're coming from though, I guess it's still quite a taboo subject, and suicidal people don't always feel comfortable talking about it, so me throwing around that I jumped off a bridge must be surprising. I'm detached enough from my suicide attempt that I'm able to talk about it without much of a problem, and I'm not really suicidal anymore.

Dumb bitches unite 👏👏👏 we be out there reading shit we shouldn't read

Yeah I think it's nice how the show didn't portray Shaw as a bad person for not having "normal feelings". Well, hope makes one live as we say in French (idk the English saying either lol) but don't hold much hope about me liking Root lmao

I used to ship careese bc they kissed in the crossing, but then I read some Rinch fics and I just ended up falling into it to the point where I stopped caring about careese. Now I think their relationship works better as a friendship.

Yeah all that change really puts me off... It just gives me "bad spin-off" vibes. Especially since there is less John :( and less Rinch :((((

Lmao yeah I just have a lot of feelings about early poi hgkfglrk. Also :/ I'm sad about the subway being less homey pls I just want happiness ?? I swear this show destroys my heart on top of owning my last braincell (brb changing my blog title to this lmao)

Mood I need all the John-centric eps, give me m o r e characterization and development and backstory and feelings hhhhhhh. I love him so much I just wanna spend more time with him. And that's what fics are for ! Yeah thehiddenmemory is so talented ! Astolat made some good ones too, on top of writing really good fics ! (Our fandom has been blessed with the presence of one of the ao3 founders hell yeah)

Also, remember how we talked abt the poi subreddit ? The other day I left a comment on there, wild I know. It wasn't a discussion about the last seasons though, I'm not crazy, it was about the impact poi had in our lives so I said it literally taught me English. Who knows maybe sometimes I'll comment again lol. I just don't wanna meet one of those people who prefer late poi over early poi.

Allow me to uuuuh write something based on what you said. Don't ask me how John survived with no major injuries, my man got that Thick Plot Armor alright. Hope you appreciate me getting carried away sjdkdksk it's kinda rushed and the first part isn't that good bc idk how to write Grace I'm just here for that sweet sweet Rinch stuff

Harold is eating breakfast with Grace in her kitchen – he can't think of her home as his home – when his phone vibrates. It's a text from the machine. It's a surprise, she barely contacted him since... He blocks the thoughts and the images coming to his mind. The machine sent him a picture. When he opens it, his heart misses a beat. Right here on his screen is a silhouette he thought he would never see again. His phone vibrates again. Another picture, this time it's unmistakably John, wearing his signature suit, Bear next to him. Transfixed, he stares at his phone until he feels Grace gently touching his arm. She goes straight to the point.

"Is it John ?" He looks up in confusion, but before he can say anything, she adds, "I hear you call him in your sleep every night."

"It's him, yes." He doesn't want to explain. He only wants to see John, to touch him, to tell him how much he loves him.

"You should go back to him. I like you, Harold. I am deeply relieved to see you alive. But I've been thinking, and... It's not working. This, us... You aren't really the man I fell in love with, the man I grieved... I can't trust you anymore." She doesn't say 'You lied to me' but Harold hears it all the same.

~

Harold sits on their bench. The machine indicated John often comes here. Soon enough, his arms are full of Bear, and John is standing in front of him.

"John. How are you ?" he asks when Bear finally calms down.

"Busy. And you ?"

Harold eyes him suspiciously – John once said he was busy when he was bleeding and way too close to death – but he seems to be well.

"I'm fine." He doesn't have time for awkward small talk." I thought you were dead. Why didn't you contact me ?"

"The machine told me you were with Grace. I thought you wanted to come back to your previous life. I didn't want to crash into it and ruin what you had."

Harold wants to be angry at him, but he understands. He did the same with Grace.

"You would never ruin anything. Besides, my relationship with Grace... didn't survive my lies. She's very dear to my heart, but she's a part of my previous life, as you said."

"So you came back for the machine, and the numbers, like the good old times ?"

Harold gets up from the bench.

"I came back for you. You are an important part of my life. The most important part."

John smiles, finally. He takes a step towards Harold, they're so close they could kiss. Harold reaches out, grips his shirt and slowly inches closer. He's still afraid of being rejected but John wraps his arm around him and kisses him. The kiss is over too soon. John's smile is even wider when they part.

"You're the most important part of my life too," he says before kissing Harold again. "You will stay ?"

"Always."

Damn I live for sappy Rinch stuff.

Bitches decided that Harold saying "always" is peak Rinch. It's me I'm bitches.

Also ofc I had to make a reference to number crunch, who do you think I am

Anyway. I hope you have a good day ! 💛