#i wanted to fix things. YOU made your choice.
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Chop Shop is strictly 18+ for language, themes, and potential explicit content.
🔗 - Game Intro | Bug Report | Ko-Fi
Episode Four is now available! (+ 59,000) - PLAY HERE
Debrief after your meeting with Inez.
Steal... or don't!
Yvonne has a secret.
2 more achievements.
And more!
This update comes with a patch (Version 1.2.3) For this update you will need to start a NEW SAVE. An updated inventory macro has been implemented and is not compatible with old saves. I really wish you didn't have to but it's what's best for the game and its longevity!
Patch notes + author notes are under the cut. If preferred, you can access them in game in the start menu.
STORY
PROLOGUE:
General edits and fixes.
More vague, as to not elicit any emotional connection to the crew for continuity.
EPISODE 01:
Added a new set of personality building choices when meeting KJ, Jonno, Natasha and Aiden at the bar.
EPISODE 02:
Tweaked the conversation with Dilani in the closing scene to reflect more on the situation. Added some more fearful dialogue and flavour text.
Other general edits and fixes.
EPISODE 03:
Fixed gaps and spacing issues.
Minor phrasing and sentence structure changes.
Grammar and typo fixes.
UI + TECHNICAL
SETTINGS:
Changing the font size now only applies to the game text in the passages.
Added descriptions to the toggleable settings.
UI:
The background now changes colour dependent on what theme you are using, instead of the default black.
INVENTORY:
The inventory macro has been updated! Previously V2, now V3 of the ChapelR Simple Inventory Macro.
CREATE A SAVE
Modified the randomise PC choice, setting pronouns in 'sets' instead of randomising each pronoun separately.
GAMEPLAY MODE
Players can now choose a gameplay mode when starting a new save: Regular or Challenge.
Challenge mode disables the back button, disallowing players to return to the previous passage. Players cannot redo dice rolls or try out different choices for desired outcomes.
Challenge mode is not available in Create A Save. All CAS made saves default to regular mode.
AN: hello hello! it has been a while -- episode 04 is finally here!
this ep was a long one to get through but we finally made it out of the fog. i found that i wrote a bunch of stuff that just... didn't fit? but is hopefully going to be used later down the line, so it's cool i've got shells of scenes for later.
i can't find any game breaking bugs myself and my amazing beta testers have scanned through as many possible variants as they can! of course, if there is anything funky, broken, or maybe not triggering correctly, please submit a bug report!
again i will say that you will need to start a NEW SAVE for this update. unfortunately the updated inventory macro is not compatible with previous saves. i really didn't want this to be a thing when updating chop shop but it is unfortunately just the way for this update - apologies!! i know it's super annoying when games do this but chop shop is still a wip so there will always be some teething problems along the way.
as i look through my notes, we have now completed act 1 of my outline (AAAAHH) so soooo exciting. finally pc can stop wringing their hands about being bad and actually //start// being bad.
if you've made it this far -- hello and thank you! i'm so happy we're at the point where PC is making some real decisions, taking another step into their life of crime.
happy update day and happy reading!! thank you so much for the continued support and patience!!! i hope you enjoy the new episode! - becky :-) <3
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Shadow of Betrayal
The winds howled around Storm’s End, the ancestral seat of House Baratheon, as Princess Y/N Targaryen—born a Baratheon, now wife to Prince Aemond Targaryen—stood in the great hall, her dark eyes fixed on the flickering fire in the hearth. She had always loved this castle, its unyielding walls and the roaring storms outside that matched the tempest in her blood. But tonight, even the unrelenting fury of nature couldn’t quiet the storm within her heart.
Whispers had reached her ears. Whispers of treachery, of shadows cast over her marriage. Alys Rivers, they said. The dark-haired woman of Harrenhal, a supposed seer, wrapped in mystique and ambition. Y/N had dismissed the rumors at first, unwilling to believe that her husband—the man who had pledged himself to her—could betray her. But the whispers grew louder, undeniable, like a tempest battering the shores of her heart.
Tonight, she would confront him.
The door to the great hall creaked open, and Prince Aemond entered, his long silver hair shimmering in the firelight. He wore his usual black leather, his sapphire eye glinting coldly as he surveyed her. “Y/N,” he greeted, his voice calm, as though nothing was amiss.
“Aemond,” she replied, her tone sharper than she intended.
He tilted his head, studying her. “You seem troubled.”
She turned to face him fully, her Baratheon fire burning in her gaze. “I’ve heard things, my prince. Things that make my blood boil. Do you care to explain them before I tear the truth from you myself?”
Aemond’s expression didn’t waver, but his jaw tightened. “Speak plainly, wife.”
“Fine,” she said, stepping closer. “Alys Rivers. Does the name mean anything to you?”
His reaction was subtle—a flicker of his remaining eye, a slight shift in his stance—but she caught it. She had spent years studying him, loving him, and she knew when he was hiding something.
“Alys Rivers is a servant at Harrenhal,” he said carefully. “She has no bearing on us.”
“No bearing?” Y/N’s voice rose, echoing off the stone walls. “Do not insult me, Aemond. Do not stand there and lie to my face. I’ve heard the stories—of how you take her to your bed, of the nights you spend with her while I wait here, loyal and blind.”
Aemond’s composure cracked, his lips pressing into a thin line. “It’s not what you think—”
“It’s exactly what I think!” she interrupted, her fury spilling over. “You betrayed me, Aemond. You betrayed our marriage, our vows. How dare you stand before me and pretend otherwise?”
For a moment, he said nothing, his sharp features carved in stone. Then he stepped closer, his voice low and measured. “You don’t understand, Y/N. Alys… she has power. Power that could help us win this war.”
“Power?” Y/N’s laugh was bitter. “Don’t speak to me of power. Is that what this is? A political strategy? You think bedding her will grant you victory?”
“I did it for us,” he said, his tone growing defensive.
“For us?” Her voice cracked with incredulity. “Don’t you dare place this at my feet. This was your choice, Aemond. Your weakness. Not mine.”
The fire between them burned hotter than the one in the hearth, the tension suffocating. Aemond reached for her, but she stepped back, her eyes filled with tears she refused to shed.
“You’ve made your choice, Aemond,” she said, her voice trembling with both anger and sorrow. “You chose her. And in doing so, you have shattered everything we built.”
Aemond’s face softened, regret flickering in his eye. “Y/N… I never stopped loving you.”
“Love?” she whispered, shaking her head. “If this is your love, then I want none of it.”
She turned and walked toward the door, the weight of her decision crushing her chest. Before leaving, she paused and looked over her shoulder. “I am a Baratheon, Aemond. We endure storms, but we do not bow to them. You’ve made your bed. Lie in it.”
With that, she disappeared into the corridors of Storm’s End, leaving Aemond standing alone in the great hall. The storm outside raged on, but it was nothing compared to the wreckage left behind inside the castle’s stone walls.
For the first time in his life, Aemond Targaryen felt powerless.
#house of the dragon#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen x reader#hotd#aemond x reader#house targaryen#house baratheon#aemond one eye#hotd aemond#prince aemond
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Long Distance(LiaWältixBühlReader)
Warning: mentions of Type 1 Diabetes, injury
Being apart from your girlfriend sucked. She played for Arsenal while you played for Bayern Munich(Just like your older sister Klara). So you didn't see eachother much. But you still made it work because breaking up was not an option. Your love was way too strong for that.
The two of you met almost two years ago when you and some other players were invited to a Panel about women in sports. You two locked eyes and couldn't stop glancing and smiling at eachother the entire weekend so before you and her had to fly back from Paris where the Panel was you asked her out and you two had your first date in the City of love.
Today you would be playing against Arsenal in Munich for the Champions League . You had the Chance to finish first in the group stages. Which you hated but also enjoyed. One of you for sure would be disappointed cause neither one of you wanted to lose. But you also were excited cause Lia was staying with you. She was actually still asleep in your arms and would go back home with you after the game until she would have to leave again tomorrow. When she landed last night the two of you cuddled and talked alot, unfortunately that was cut short when your blood sugar started to act up. Then it did hit you like a brick. You were so excited for Lia to arrive that you forgot to eat. Bad move for someone with Diabetes. You were diagnosed with type 1 at the age of 10. Anyways Lia was right by your side while you fixed this mess with some juice boxes.
When she woke up the two of you took a quick shower that didn't end up being so quick cause the two of you haven't seen eachother in a while and you both had needs. So the whole shower took like 40 minutes. Those were well spent in your opinion.
You were fully dressed by 10am and the two of you had a small breakfast. You sat in her lap. "I hate that you have to leave again tomorrow. I don't want you to Go." You whisper out. She smiled sadly. Holding you close while eating her breakfast. "My love i don't want to leave you again either. But guess we have no choice!" She answered. You hide your face in her shoulder for a moment and she stroked your hair gently. "My contract ends after this season..." You told her. "Arsenal has interest in me!" You added on. Lias eyes lit up. "That would be wonderful! So only a few months to go until we could be together 24/7." She was really excited about it. So were you. "Exactly. Maybe it's time to go look for a bigger place?" You suggested. "When i move there... A place to start a family!" When she heard you say that she grinned from ear to ear. Because you two had talked about wanting kids quite early in the relationship. You talked about your future together for a little longer until you had to drop her off at the Hotel the Arsenal Team was staying. You looked forward to seeing her again on the pitch & afterwards.
You also realized that you were late to the Last Team Meeting before the game. So you made sure to drive a bit after then you were allowed to but still careful enough not to cause any damage. After parking your car you made a run for it. Racing inside with your bag. First talking with the Coaching staff to let them know you won't be extending your contract and will be moving next season to Play for Arsenal. They tried to Change your mind but in the end they accepted it. You went to the locker rooms where the Team was talking with one another ."Look who managed to join us, it's Baby Bühl!" Sydney said teasingly. "Very funny Sydney. Sorry for being late. I had an important talk...with Alex and the rest. Klara can we talk in private for a moment?" You looked at your sister. Klara looked quite concerned and so did the rest cause things sounded serious. "Yes sure." Your sister replied and walked out of the locker room with you.
You stood a few feet away from the locker room entrance with Klara. Your older sister looked at you, biting down on her bottom lip. "You are leaving by the end of the season, right?" She asked. You nodded her head softly. "Yes. I will move to play for Arsenal and to be with Lia. Long Distance is so hard and we want to start a family in the next two years. So this Is what's best for me!" You told her. "It was only a matter of time but i still gonna miss you, even though i already had a feeling that this was the case!" She admitted. "I will make sure to visit you as much as i can!" You promsied Klara. "As long as you are Happy, i am happy for you!" She let you know, pulling you in for a hug. You hugged her back. "I love you sis." You whispered out. "Love you too, y/n." You stood there like that for a few minutes before returning to the others.
Back in the locker room all eyes were on you. So you told them you wanted to make an announcement. "I am leaving by the end for the season. To be closer with Wally. And play for Arsenal! Don't worry i am still giving it my all later today and we kick their butts together! But please don't break my girlfriend, thank you!" You told them. They all were a little sad & upset at first cause they would miss you but they also were quite happy for you.
The Game was gonna be at 6:30pm. Currently it was 2pm. So you still had time to mentally prepare for the game. Some of you played games together and some did a little workout.
Around 4pm you all ate something light so you wouldn't feel too full during the game. You started to feel a bit unwell. But nothing too bad.
When you went outside to warm up on the field before the game you partnered up with Klara. It was now 5:30pm. One hour until the game started. Every now and then you would glance over to Lia, smiling at her. You also quickly went to hug Leah who became quite a close friend of yours as well.
The first half went amazing. You scored a goal and by half time you were leading with one point. A surprise you managed that cause you started to feel even worse. When your sister and some of your teammates asked If you are okay cause you didn't look like you were you told them everything was okay. It was time to go back out for the second half of the game. You all were in the Tunnels with the Arsenal girls when all of sudden you started swaying back and forth, realizing that maybe the sweating wasn't just from the Game . Leah who was looking at you was alarmed right away and quickly catched you when you fainted. "Y/n!" Klara yelled out when she saw what happened. "Someone get Wally! She is still in the locker room!" Leah answered. Trying to stay calm. Everyone was worried about you. Leah carried you to the medic room, Klara following her. You were checked over and turned Out your blood sugar was pretty low. The reason was because your sensor didn't work anymore cause it almost fell out. Which you didn't notice. And cause you didn't get anything send to your Phone that would suggest you had any blood sugar issues. Thankfully it was able to be fixed with some juice boxes. Leah left as soon as Wally was by your side. She didn't care that she missed the rest of the game. Klara also refused to leave your side. So she was also subbed out just like you were. "You scared the crap out of me, Darling!" Lia replied. "Yeah agreed! Even though i should be used to it by now. It's still scary to witness every time it gets this bad." Klara mentioned. "I am sorry for scaring you both!" You let them know. "I hope you are ready for that happening alot! This one doesn't take good care of herself sometimes." Klara informed your girlfriend. "I promise i will make sure she takes better care of herself and i will do that as well!" Lia answered. "I always knew why i liked you for my sister!" Your sister replied with a soft chuckle.
After the game was done, which you won 2-1 by the way, your Team went to check on you you already could sit up without feeling dizzy. Some Arsenal girls also came to check on you. Leah & Beth for example. Leah playfully punched your shoulder. "Don't scare me like that again, y/n!" She told you. "I am very sorry! Didn't mean to scare you! Thank you for catching me!" You let her know. Having heard from Klara that Leah was the one catching you cause your memories were quite a bit foggy. "Always!" Leah replied with a soft smile.
All of you went out to grab a bite to eat and have some drinks before your girlfriend and her team would leave again tomorrow. Lia made sure your new Sensor was working well and checked in on your blood sugar with her Phone every so often.
After the end of the Season you indeed got a three years contract with Arsenal and moved in with Lia. Things were perfect. Your Love only kept on growing.
#womens soccer#woso x reader#soccer#klara bühl#womens football#lia waltiXReader#wally#arsenal women#fc bayern munich women#leah williamson
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Unrequited Love | part II
Remus Lupin x f!reader
Summary: Some days he thought about going to you, trying to say something to fix things. Other days, he knew it would be pointless. He didn’t deserve you. He didn’t deserve the smile he used to get, the attention that made him feel... seen. As if all parts of himself, even the ones he despised, were worthy of acceptance.
Warnings: angst
A/N: I finally made part II - anon, thank you so much for the idea, I will be forever grateful. I hope you and @beaucate like this, this would not exist without the help of you two <333
Masterlist | part I
Remus saw the way you closed your eyes for a moment, trying to breathe. He saw how your fingers tightened around the strap of your backpack, as if you needed to hold on to something to stay strong. Your eyes opened, and you smiled — a smile that wasn’t the one he knew — joyful, sweet, and radiant. This smile was sad, forced, doing little to hide how your eyes were shining.
“I’m fine, Remus. Thank you.”
He knew it was a lie.
Before he could stop himself, Remus raised a hand, but you had already started to walk away. He watched you move farther, the way your shoulders were hunched. And he hated himself for making you feel that way.
Remus saw you leave, the muffled sound of your footsteps echoing through the empty hall. He remained still, his hand still raised in the air for a moment before letting it fall to his side. The expression on your face was something he wouldn't forget anytime soon. It wasn’t anger, nor was it evident hurt — it was something much more subtle, a mix of resignation and pain that made him feel like he was ripping pieces of himself apart to protect you.
Protect you. That was what he told himself to justify what he had done. The truth, however, was much crueler: he was a coward. He knew it.
His fingers clenched around the sides of the book he was holding, the rough paper almost hurting his skin. He wanted to believe that he had made the right choice. That by breaking whatever you had felt for him, he was saving you from something much worse. Something that he knew was bound to happen, sooner or later. But deep down, the doubt ate at him like poison.
It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that someone so... pure could like him.
“Are you okay?” James’ voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Remus blinked, realizing he had been standing in the hall longer than he had realized, the book now crumpled in his hands.
“Yeah,” he replied quickly, straightening his shoulders. “I’m heading to the library.” It was a lie, but James simply nodded, giving him a concerned look before continuing on his way.
It was strange how the others didn’t seem to notice anything. Maybe because he was good at hiding. Good at smiling when needed and changing the subject when conversations became dangerously personal.
But they weren’t blind. A few weeks later, Sirius teased him during breakfast.
“You’ve been so quiet lately, Remus. Even for your standards. Something going on?”
He shrugged, trying to focus on the bread he was spreading butter on. “Just tired.”
“Tired, huh?” Sirius raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical. “Hasn’t got anything to do with her, has it?”
Remus froze. He didn’t dare lift his eyes.
“Who’s ‘her’?” Peter asked, curious, as he chewed on a piece of pie.
“Oh, you know,” Sirius leaned forward, a knowing smile on his face. “That girl who always used to greet our dear Moony, and now barely waves before walking off like he’s invisible.”
“Shut up, Padfoot,” Remus muttered, but his voice was low, lacking the usual sharpness.
James laughed but tried to change the subject, perhaps sensing the tension. “Leave Moony alone, Sirius.”
Sirius raised his hands in mock surrender, but his eyes still glinted with mischief.
Remus forced a smile, but the lump in his throat was tight. He knew you didn’t treat him the same way anymore, and he couldn’t blame you. You still greeted him politely, but there was something distant in your gestures, something that seemed to have been carefully rehearsed to keep both of you safe.
And he hated how it affected him.
You weren’t sad anymore — at least not on the surface. He found himself watching you from afar, seeing how you laughed with your friends, as if trying to prove to yourself that you were fine. And maybe you were.
But he felt the absence. Not yours, exactly, because you were still there, in the hallways, in the library. It was the absence of something he didn’t dare name, something he had destroyed himself.
It was unbearable.
Some days he thought about going to you, trying to say something to fix things. Other days, he knew it would be pointless.
He didn’t deserve you. He didn’t deserve the smile he used to get, the attention that made him feel... seen. As if all parts of himself, even the ones he despised, were worthy of acceptance.
You couldn’t carry the burden of being with someone like him. He was a monster, even if he hid it behind kind words and a calm exterior.
But still, he wanted you to stay.
And that selfish desire tore him apart every night.
The full moon always left Remus exhausted, but this one had been particularly cruel. He could barely remember how he managed to make it back to the infirmary, the details blurred between the searing pain and the murmurs of his friends who had helped him.
Now, silence enveloped him. It was early morning, and the first light of day filtered weakly through the high windows of the hospital wing. He was lying there, his muscles still sore, as if every movement was a battle against his own fragility.
Remus kept his eyes closed, enjoying the brief moment of calm. He expected nothing but solitude — maybe Madame Pomfrey’s concerned voice later, or the muffled whispers of James and Sirius debating whether they should bring him chocolate again.
But then, something shifted in the atmosphere.
There was the soft sound of footsteps on the cold floor, hesitant, almost shy. He could sense, even before opening his eyes, that it wasn’t one of his friends. The scent of something delicate reached him — flowers.
With effort, Remus cracked his eyes open and saw you.
You were standing beside the bed, holding a small bouquet of wildflowers. Your expression was unreadable, but your movements were gentle. He watched as you placed the flowers in an empty vase on the bedside table, arranging them carefully.
For a moment, he thought he was dreaming.
What were you doing there? He couldn’t understand. After everything that had happened, after he had broken whatever there was between you, why would you come?
You didn’t say anything. Your hands still hovered over the vase, as if you were considering something but couldn’t decide.
Remus felt a pang in his chest. Not physical pain, but something deeper, sharper. He should say something, but he didn’t know where to begin. The words seemed stuck in his throat, and all he could do was stare at you, his gaze blurry from exhaustion.
Finally, you took a step back. Then another. It was clear you were preparing to leave.
“Wait,” he managed to murmur, his voice hoarse and weak, barely audible.
And before he could say more, you were already near the door.
He tried to move, to raise his hand to stop you from leaving, but his body protested, heavy and uncontrollable.
“Please...” He could barely form the word.
But you didn’t hear — or chose not to hear.
The door closed softly behind you, leaving him alone again.
Remus felt the emptiness in the room, a cruel contrast to the brief moment of your presence. The flowers beside the bed were the only proof that you had truly been there.
He closed his eyes, the physical exhaustion mixing with the agony of knowing that, even now, even after doing everything to push you away, a part of him still wished you would stay.
And maybe that was what he hated most about himself.
A few days had passed since you visited Remus in the infirmary. He tried to focus on his studies, his friends, the world around him, but nothing could quiet the turmoil inside him.
He thought about the flowers. About how you had been there, despite everything. About how the simple gesture of your presence had completely disarmed him.
Remus realized, too late, how foolish he had been. He didn’t want you just as a friend. He never had. But now he feared that, in trying to protect you from himself, he had destroyed any chance there might have been.
He needed to talk to you.
Finding you, however, wasn’t easy. You seemed more evasive than ever, always finding excuses to step away or avoid the places where he used to be. Still, he persisted. And when he finally found you, alone in the library, he knew he couldn’t let another opportunity slip away.
“Can I talk to you?”
You lifted your gaze from the book you were reading, surprised. Your eyes hesitated to meet his, but you didn’t say anything. You simply nodded slightly, calmly closing the book before standing up.
“Not here,” he said, his voice low, almost pleading. He didn’t want the conversation to be overheard, let alone be shallow.
You walked in silence until you reached a more secluded corner, near an empty room. When you arrived, he took a deep breath, struggling to organize his thoughts.
“I... I wanted to thank you,” Remus started, his voice hesitant, almost a whisper, as if each word was a monumental effort. “For the flowers.”
You blinked, clearly surprised. Your eyes narrowed slightly, as if trying to understand what that meant, before he continued.
“They were... very beautiful,” he added, looking away at the floor, as if he didn’t have the courage to face the impact of his words.
“Were you awake?” Your voice came out louder than you intended, filled with surprise and... something else that he couldn’t quite define.
“For a moment,” he replied, still avoiding your eyes. “I saw you.”
Finally, he looked up, and your eyes met. The silence that followed was so thick that it felt as if it enveloped everything around you, heavy like a storm about to burst. Both of you stood there, frozen, as if merely being in the same space was already an internal battle. What hadn’t been said, what still hung between you, weighed more than words ever could.
Remus was the first to break the silence, his voice almost a whisper, filled with a fear he didn’t want to admit but that overflowed. “Why did you decide to visit me?” The question slipped out with a thread of hopelessness, as if he already knew the answer, but at the same time, feared hearing the confirmation that your presence there meant nothing.
You stood in silence for a moment, as if trying to find the right words, but nothing came. Your eyes shifted to the ground. He noticed how tense your fingers were, almost as if you didn’t know what to do with yourself anymore.
You looked at him, but the answer still hadn’t formed, still trapped somewhere deep inside. “I... I don’t know,” your voice trembled, almost as if the words had the power to break something you didn’t want to understand. “I just... felt I should.” The tone wasn’t firm; it was a confession you didn’t even fully understand.
Those words hit Remus like a sharp blade, cutting deeper than he expected. He felt his heart tighten, a mixture of relief and pain, because it meant you still cared. Or maybe it meant nothing. He didn’t know.
“Do you still care about me?” He couldn’t help it. The question escaped without warning, filled with a vulnerability he never imagined showing.
You didn’t respond immediately. Your face hidden behind a curtain of hair falling over your shoulders. The weight of the question seemed to crush you too, and Remus saw you hesitate, the air thick between you, before you finally lifted your head.
“I... I care,” your voice was low, almost hesitant, but there was something in your gaze that didn’t lie. “I just... don’t know what it means anymore.”
He didn’t know what to do with that answer. He was so lost in his own feelings that he could barely comprehend yours. He wanted to say something, do something, but nothing felt right. The time that had passed, the distance you had put between yourselves, made everything even harder.
He looked at you, and what he saw in your eyes made his chest tighten in a way he couldn’t explain. “I miss you,” he said, without thinking, but with all the pain he had been carrying, and the weight of the words seemed to leave him even more exposed.
You looked at him in surprise, your eyes widening slightly, as if that confession wasn’t something you expected to hear. “You miss me... as a friend?” you asked, your voice tense, cautious, as if you feared the answer.
Remus swallowed hard, his throat dry, and he saw the doubt and pain reflected in your eyes. “No,” he answered, his tone deep and determined. “Not as a friend.”
Those words, so simple and direct, exploded in the space between you, leaving an even heavier silence. The air seemed tense, dense, as if the mere fact that they had been spoken could change everything. He watched your reaction, the way your eyes closed for a moment, as if you were trying to understand what this meant.
“I... I can’t...” you whispered, more to yourself than to him, as if you were trying to grasp the magnitude of what was happening. Your voice trembled, the words only a reflection of the turmoil of emotions running inside you.
Remus felt as if something inside him had shattered. He knew those words weren’t a direct rejection, but the confusion in your voice, the weight of uncertainty in your eyes, was enough to crush him. He ran a hand through his hair, looking away, unable to bear the reflection of the pain he himself had caused.
"I’m so sorry," he finally murmured, his voice breaking, laden with regret. "I had no right... I shouldn’t have said that. Not after what I did."
His face suddenly lifted, and he saw that your eyes were shimmering with tears you were trying to hold back. "I don’t understand," you interrupted him, your voice thick, almost trembling with emotion. "You rejected my feelings before I could even confess them. You didn’t even give me the chance to say anything. You said you only saw me as a friend. And now you’re here, saying you feel something more? How does that make sense, Remus?!"
He closed his eyes, as though his confession was a blade running through him, and shook his head, a deep expression of pain marking his features. "I know," he said, more intensely now. "I know I was wrong, that I was a coward, but... I just wanted to protect you."
"Protect me from what?" you exclaimed, frustration overflowing. "From me? Remus, you’re the kindest person I know! I’ve never... never been in danger with you!"
Those words hit him like a blow. He took a deep breath, his hands trembling slightly as he forced himself to look at you, the truth he had always kept buried rising to the surface like an unstoppable wave. "I’m a werewolf," he whispered, the words escaping in a hoarse whisper, but they seemed to fill the space between you like thunder.
Your heart stopped.
"I’m a monster," he continued, his voice filled with a pain that seemed to come from years of repression and shame. "Every full moon, I turn into something that shouldn’t exist. I could hurt you. I could destroy everything around me. And... I couldn’t bear the thought of you living with that. With me. You deserve something better, something I can never give you."
The words echoed in the silence that followed, a silence that seemed to scream. Remus couldn’t look at you, but he felt the weight of your gaze on him. It was as though every secret he had kept, every part of his soul he tried to hide, was there, exposed before you.
You stared at him, your eyes wide, lips slightly parted, as though his words were something you couldn’t immediately process. He had confessed the greatest secret of his life, something he had never told anyone unless absolutely necessary.
For a moment, silence reigned, heavy like a storm about to break. Remus kept his gaze fixed on the floor, unable to face the possibility of finding repulsion in your eyes. He had imagined this moment so many times before, the moment when someone would know who – or what – he really was. And each time he thought about it, the result was always the same: fear, distance, rejection.
But then he felt the movement. You moved closer, so close that he could hear your breath, feel the warmth of your body. He didn’t have the courage to look up, but his breath caught in his throat when he felt your hands touch his face.
Your fingers were gentle as they traced the scars marking his skin, as though each one was something you needed to understand, something you needed to feel. He closed his eyes, a shiver running through his body, not from fear, but from something deeper, something more visceral.
"You..." Your voice came out low, almost a whisper, but filled with emotion. "Is that why you suffer so much? Is that why you get so sick every month...?"
He didn’t answer, he didn’t need to. His silence was confirmation enough.
You didn’t pull your hands away. On the contrary, your fingers kept tracing the lines of his scars, as if you wanted to absorb every piece of him, every fragment of the story those marks told. And then, to his surprise, you smiled. A small, soft smile, but full of something he couldn’t comprehend.
"Remus," you murmured, your voice gentle but firm. "This doesn’t change anything for me."
His gaze met yours, and what he saw there wasn’t fear, nor repulsion. It was something he hadn’t allowed himself to imagine: acceptance.
"How can you say that?" he asked, his voice rough and almost inaudible. "I’m... I’m dangerous. I’m..."
"No," you interrupted him, firm, but still gentle. "You’re the kindest person I know, Remus. You care about everyone around you, you always think of others before yourself. You are..." Your voice faltered for a moment, as your fingers still touched his face. "You are amazing. And this?" You lightly indicated the scars. "I don’t care about that. I couldn’t care less."
He shook his head, still in shock. "You don’t understand... this is a burden. I’m a burden. I could..."
"No," you interrupted him again, more forcefully this time. "You’re not a burden. And you never will be."
He fell silent, his eyes wide as he processed your words. No one had ever said anything like that to him before. No one had ever looked at him like that before.
You tilted your head, your eyes shining with an intensity he couldn’t ignore. "Remus, you’re so much more than this. You always have been. I just wish you could see that too."
He tried to speak, but the words didn’t come. The lump in his throat was too big, the emotion too heavy. And then, for the first time in a long time, he let the tears fall.
You didn’t say anything. You simply enveloped him in an embrace, your arms around him, firm and comforting.
Remus stood still for a moment, almost unable to believe what was happening. The warmth of your embrace surrounded him like something he didn’t know he needed, something he had denied himself for so long. Slowly, hesitantly, he lifted his arms and wrapped them around you, as if fearing you might disappear if he let himself feel too much.
He rested his face against your shoulder, and the tears fell silently before he could hold it back. A wave of emotion hit him – relief, regret, gratitude – everything mixing into something as overwhelming as it was liberating.
"I’m so sorry," he murmured, his voice broken, almost inaudible. "For everything. For hurting you. For trying to keep you away... when all I wanted was to be close."
You tightened your embrace, as if that could erase any pain he was carrying. "You don’t need to apologize anymore, Remus. I just want us to... start over."
He pulled away just enough to look at you, his eyes still shining with tears he couldn’t contain. "Do you really want that? After everything?"
You smiled, a smile that was as sweet as it was firm. "I never wanted anything else."
For a moment, everything around you seemed to disappear. It was just the two of you there, in a world where what he was didn’t matter, where he didn’t need to hide who he was.
"I don’t know if I deserve this," he whispered, the insecurity still there, but now mixed with something softer, almost hopeful.
"You do, Remus. You’ve always deserved it."
He closed his eyes for a moment, allowing your words to settle, trying to believe them as much as you seemed to believe them. When he opened them again, there was something new there – a sparkle you had never seen before.
"Then let’s start over," he said, his voice still low, but with a resolution that seemed to grow with each word.
You smiled, extending your hand, as though sealing the pact between you. "Together."
He took your hand, fingers intertwining with yours. It was a simple gesture, but it was full of meaning. Because, for the first time, Remus felt that maybe, just maybe, he could have something he had always thought impossible: happiness.
And as you walked side by side, he felt something that seemed almost unknown to him – a glimpse of the future, a future he was finally not afraid to imagine.
#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin fanfiction#remus x reader#remus lupin#remus john lupin fanfiction#remus john lupin#remus j lupin#remus x you#remus x y/n#no use of y/n#marauders era#angst#ao3 writer#writers on tumblr#fanfiction#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin x you
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i seem to always have a comfort drink. Like my baseline comfort drink is coffee -- even when i've been homeless and in the rain, or derailed mid travel plan and stuck in place with no idea what to do, if i can get a cup of coffee, i can have some small amount of feeling okay and like i have agency in my fate.
But coffee is just the baseline, i usually have some other drink that occupies the top spot of the day (actually more like of the month or season)
Not so much this winter but the two winters before this, my comfort drink was actually just any spicy broth (i particularly liked spicy shrimp like the ramen packets but without the noodles and i'd add a bunch of sriracha - like, a LOT a lot - or a broth made from chicken stock but proper simmered the chicken bones for a few hours stock, also with a bunch of hot sauce or cayenne)
Right now my comfort drink is a cup of this tea
with a packet of this
but you don't have to use the whole packet, you just use it as sweetener and add basically as much as you would add sugar or honey - i usually add about half a packet and it's still pretty sweet, tonight i wanted something as sweet as hot chocolate, so i used the whole packet, and it is hitting *chef's kiss* but i'm not always in the mood for so much sweet
with the tea bag, not only is the drink more delicious than the apple cider alone when using the whole packet of cider, but you never thin out the spiced flavor of the apple cider too much to taste good, because you've got the spice base sorted already, so you can really control the sweetness to your liking without sacrificing flavor.
I've also quite enjoyed the same thing with this tea
as well as liking it with a lemon zinger and a black "chai" which in the states seems to mean black tea with like, pumpkin pie spices (you know, allspice, clove, cinnamon and i always put a little ginger in my pumpkin pies too, anyone else?)
there's probably at least a dozen other teas in any big grocery store that would go good with apple cider too.
Hot Chocolate?
For that i go straight to the spice drawer. Start by making sure you include some milk or half and half or something, if microwaving you can mix half a mug of water and half of whole milk, or you can do like 1/4 mug of half&half or cream and just mix it with the water and mic it. That's where i'm coming from i'm not talking super gourmet by any means. But for all the gods' sake put some milk, even rice milk or almond milk or coconut milk in there to give your hot chocolate some bones.
Sorry, i mean if you just use water the hot chocolate will always feel too thin and unsatisfying, and you'll find you're trying to fix it by adding more and more of the powder until it almost becomes a syrup and then the chocolate taste is a bit strong by then. But if you have a cup of fats and proteins and natural sugars and things to start as your base, you get a drink that feels big and thick and rich and filling the way hot chocolate in your fantasy is. Or whatever, i don't know you, maybe you like watery thin hot chocolate as a hydrating drink while playing ice hockey or something who knows. Personally, sometimes i'll just straight up use a mug full of half & half or use a bunch of heavy cream if i'm feeling particularly decadent.
regardless, what i recommend is: you grab your instant cocoa powder of choice, and before you put it in your preferred liquid you mix at least a couple of these other powders into it.
a dash of cinnamon a sprinkle of nutmeg a dusting of powdered ginger a bit of ground cayenne a pinch of salt
You can do it per mug or you can premix your whole canister of hot chocolate.
For me, the cayenne and salt are mandatory. Huge difference, the salt really plays up the chocolate flavor and while ideally you probably don't actually taste the salt, but even if you put in enough that it's a little salty, the effect is like salted caramel. Like, sometimes i do it on purpose. And cayenne and chocolate is just one of my favorite combinations ever. So.
BUT! i've also had good results starting with a mug of whole milk and brewing in a bag of something like this
before adding plain instant hot chocolate (and l little bit of salt)
anyway, my little drink recipe fiddles
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Okay more seriously I made a post about when the Iskall stuff with the Hermits went down and I do want to reiterate a few points i made there again for the dream smp fandom, tommy fans, etc etc etc
1. just because someone has left or did a bad thing, doesn’t mean you’re a bad person for enjoying the content, along with still wanting to watch that old content they did or were a part of
2. Just because someone has left or did a bad thing does not mean you cannot continue to make fan content. While it’s understandable if you don’t make more or remove art you have made, you are also not bad if you don’t. YouTube is all about collaboration and transformation. Fanart? Fanfic? Cosplay? That’s all transformative, you don’t have to stop making a new thing from the old thing. It’s fully in your right to do so, but it’s not required.
3. Do not harass people about whether they do or don’t make art or delete art, it’s transformative works and personal choice, the most you should do is ask for it to be tagged so it can be filtered.
4. Be kind to each other, and remember the people you watch are people, and people do dumb or fucked shit sometimes, every youtuber has probably held an opinion or been a part of something you’d find distasteful, that’s just what it means to be human. It’s up to you to decide where your personal line is and your comfort levels on that stuff, and no one can make that choice for you.
I want to be extremely clear I am not saying this in support of dream, fuck dream, all my homies hate dream , I just want to be clear about my own experience with how fandoms who have had issues with problematic or shitty creators have best dealt with that fact while also balancing the creative side of fandom and how you can't always just delete them from the story and have it still make any sense or not need major revisions. It's a tricky thing, and everyone's lines and understandings and sensibilities will clash against each others.
In my own personal experience, trying to police the people trying to find their own balance between "this is a bad person who should not be given more attention" and "this is a story that means a lot to me along with had many other people who worked on it and i dont want to give up on it" never ends well. I don't want someone to get hurt because they still are updating their unfinished 40k dream smp fic or something.
While I hope Dream goes away forever, I still support people who want to keep writing with the dream smp setting, or manhunt ideas, or anything. If you don't want to see it or anything, that's perfectly fine as well, but be kind about it. Have some understanding of why some people may throw themselves into fixing it, while others distance themselves entirely from it. It's messy, and you need to be kind. Everyone handles this shit differently.
Creating something transformative is deeply personal and everyone's level of comfort will be different. You can have discussions about it in a general sense yes, but please be kind to each other okay? Don't attack each other over it. I don't want anyone to feel like their a bad person because they don't want to delete some random one shot they wrote four years ago because one of the actors turned out to be a piece of shit.
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#i still can't get all the little icons to work
When I said I worked in UX and I UXed it up, that means I don't waste my time or breath. It means when I say, read the read me file, in bold it actually does mean, read the read me file because as I said in bold, if you fail to read the read me file before you load the template:
See, didn't lie. Says that. Said that from the first version.
Then the icons will fail to load, it really, really does mean that if you fail to read the Read me FIRST BEFORE Opening Template.txt, the icons will fail to load. I didn't say it to bamboozle anyone. There is no rickroll behind that txt file. A txt file can't rickroll you.
But as the first post said, in full, if that fails, then there are instructions literally in the template:
If you're counting, this is exactly a back up of four times to tell you to read the instructions. And it says the consequences of not reading said read me file in the original post. At length.
So 4 times with bold, with caps, with it on the file cautioning you to not breeze past it, so what I'm guessing is that despite FOUR warnings telling you to not do the thing I told you not to do four separate times, you did not listen, in which case, that's on you since I literally also said I worked in UX on the first post and I worked really hard to UX this template up to make it dead easy and also to fix the error if you failed.
Mildly annoyed here.
Not for this specific original poster... but a general note on the icons...
I should note that I made the icons for Scrivener's default colors—white—light scheme.
This means all icons have a shadow.
It's not my fault if you choose some garish colors for your word processor and are puzzled if the icons are "small". That's a you problem and in which case you have to remake the icons all over again from the svg files to turn off the shadow layer I've bothered to also include. I'm not going to do it for you.
As a graphic designer, and as a writer and as someone who took typography, and as someone who has worked in UX before, I loathe when people choose ugly colors for their word processors. Fine. Do it for yourself. But don't blame your poor color choices on people like me and beg me to do it for you. I gave you the files with big generosity which absolutely I did not have to do, you do the work if you want something different. I refuse to conform to an ugly standard especially on something I made for free. And if I'm going to make it free, custom make the icons, I'm going to make it usable and pretty and conform to graphic design and UX standards. Black on white paper was for a reason in the old manuscripts. I conform to those rules with confidence of knowing why the ancients did all of those rules across so many different cultures: Because they were right.
Better Novel Scrivener Template
BTW, If you liked the Settings Template, this has that plus more...
The Current Novel Template is out of date, the templates aren't really doing much for you. And the variety of icons is rather thin. I set out to fix this.
The template as a whole is PG-13 as the Character Template mentions "dangerous" things like "Kinks" and "Safe Words" OMG. I know. So terrible. So if you don't want to explain those things to anyone underage, don't download it.
As I am NB, and generally queer otherwise, I have included things like Sexual Orientation, Romantic Orientation and a whole load of things to think about when building CHARACTER, SETTING, WORLDBUILDING. I included things that people often forget by using my Uni and College knowledge.
Please, please read the "Read Me First" file if you want to avoid having to load missing icons. I give instructions.
In case you still opened it despite my warnings or it doesn't work, you'll have to load in the icons manually. In which case this is a reference:
The New Icons are: Domestic Products, Imported Goods, Exported Goods, Laws, and Social Stratification. I added extra icons for Weapons and Warfare in case you're not writing Fantasy. Laser Guns and a Historical Pistol.
I did my best to make it CULTURALLY NEUTRAL. If you want them specific, you're on your own.
I also added if you'd like to load them
All these Icons to the folder so You can finally color code your manuscripts to your heart's content. (My unending frustration with Scrivener).
I added an SVG file so if there is an exact shade I missed on the Spiral Notebook Colors or the Hardcover Books, you can add it.
The Composition Notebook file isn't included as it contains a pattern. However, I made pains to make sure it matches real life colors that exist in Composition Notebooks. You wanted the Settings Template? There are 2. One for City/Towns. One general one.
Zero Organization or Clue on Querying or Self pubbing?
I put up Organization Folders for you.
Here are the Templates you get. Everything is beefed up for you. I spent forever on these Templates and testing them. I also cued Styles to them so it's easy to change the colors. If you want to change something, as the About document says, turn on invisibles.
The Default Styles aren't useless anymore.
If you need a more Definitive Guide, I also made one in the file:
Download the Scrivener Template. It is a ZIP FILE Win Zip or other Zip app should be able to handle it.
Warning: Direct Download https://www.kimyoonmi.com/BetterNovelScrivenerTemplate.zip If you want to Skip the Template completely, but are wishing to add the Icons to your Scrivener:
https://www.kimyoonmi.com/ScrivenerIcons.zip
This template itself is not for sale or profit nor are the icons. Also don’t be the person that lies that says you made it. It’s a Creative Commons License Attribution, Noncommercial, No Derivatives by Yoonmi Kim 2024. You may change it for personal use only. Any problems can be addressed directly to me at https://www.kimyoonmiauthor.com. If you would like to translate this into other languages, let me know.
Don't be the ass that tries to sell my hard work, 'cause really, it's free. And I spent a lot of pains and time to make sure it's free and easy to use with a lot of subtle UX. Edit: I added even more stuff to the newest version.
Yes, a Pets Sketch, a Fauna Species Sketch a Flora Species Sketch, there is Literature added to the list of Art (I forgot it. lol I thought the mistake was silly, but yeah.)
And I added a Medicine Section with an icon to the technology section. There are two native icons already for Medicine--syringe and pill, but I kind of felt it didn't always give the feel of fantasy, so I made a Mortar and Pestle from scratch to add, but if you're doing sci-fi or contemporary, etc you can change to the syringe or pill.
I added explainers as well for the items to the guide.
Why?
'Cause. I would love to be able to see people put more thought into their worlds/worldbuilding, even if it doesn't show up. Maybe it won't be only horses for animals as pets. Or an occasional dog. Haha. Having a gay dog like Robin Williams would be great.
#read the read me file#I never include read me files unless they are useful#make sure to follow the directions on the read me file.#if you fail to read the read me file#there are instructions on how to load the icons in the rundown#I literally worked in ux and don't do all of that extra ux explaining for my own health#I hate useless read me files#scrivener#scrivener templates#truly reading the instructions is often faster than failing
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hi! may i request headcanons of the dmc boys + v with a male s/o who constantly feels depressed and self-harms, so they tend to sleep most of the time as a way to cope with that? you don't have to do it if you don't feel comfortable writing something like that, so don't worry!
Fear not, these sort of things don't bother me. Enjoy!
Sparda boys + V x Depressed!Male!Reader sleep-coping headcannons
Tw: Depression & mentions of self harm.
¤ Dante ¤
-Dante has been down the long and dark road of depression before, and while he hasn't fully recovered from it, he knows behaving like this isn't healthy.
-In the very beginning, he thought you were just tired from work or whatever and needed to catch up on sleep. As time went on, he realized you slept all the time because it provided relief from the real world.
-While he agrees that dreamland can be better than reality, Dante would rather spend his time with you than chasing after rainbow demon horses on a road that looks like it's made of ice cream.
-He really wants you to realize life is worth living, and decides to start acting completely unpredictably so you always have something to look forward to. Today, he might take you to the zoo, tomorrow, you could be building a tree house even though you're both grown adults. It's always an adventure with him.
-Has a sixth sense for when you're about to sabatoge yourself. He just knows when you're feeling lower than usual and is at your side before you can even begin.
-Dante really is the guy to fix you. No doubt about it.
■ Vergil ■
-Vergil is someone who, after having several near death experiences, understands that life is not to be taken for granted.
-Seeing you so depressed hurts him, so he decides he will MOTIVATE you to enjoy your life while you've got it.
-Brings you breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed, then slowly decreases it to just breakfast and lunch, then only breakfast, so you're more inclined to come out to the dining room to eat with him.
-Tries to start some kind of activity that involves getting up and doing something with you at least once a day so you can get some exercise.
-Keeps a very close eye on you at all times so you can't hurt yourself, and if it looks like you're about to, he will take action.
-That action will be to hold you very, very tightly and quietly assure you he loves you, while promising to never let go. You'll have to pry him off with a crowbar.
□ Nero □
-Nero is just confused. He can't believe someone could be this sleepy.
-Then he learns of the truth behind your behavior and immediately regrets every witty remark he made in his head.
-Nero isn't the greatest at comforting people or MOTIVATING them like his father is, but he is good at giving you reasons to get out of bed using the power of death metal.
-Yes, the noise will be too much for even you to sleep through; you will have no choice but to get out of your cocoon of blankets and enter the living room to ask him to turn it off, which results in conversations and eventually group activities.
-Is willing to listen if you ever want to talk your troubles out.
-Will also hold you when you're on the verge of harming yourself or when you feel particularly depressed because he wants to be there for you.
● V ●
-V is about ready to lie down and sleep with you, and he absolutely would, if Griffon wasn't constantly squawking at him to get up.
-Indeed, you both owe a lot to his pets, annoying as they may be, because if they didn't require care and attention, you would have fewer reasons for leaving your nest of sheets and pillows.
-V understands you're going through a lot of pain, so he tries everything he can to be there for you. He lends you his shoulder to cry on, assures you of things when you're insecure, and covers you with kisses whenever you're feeling sad. Truly the best boyfriend ever.
-He isn't the strongest man alive, but he's capable enough to grab you and keep you away from sharp or otherwise dangerous objects.
-Griffon and Shadow make sure to alert him in case something happens and he isn't around to witness it. Think of them as spies sent to watch you, and only you.
-Leaves inspiring notes all over the place for you to find so you can be comforted literally everywhere you go.
#dmc#dmc5#devil may cry 5#devil may cry#dmc dante#dmc vergil#dmc nero#dmc v x reader#Dmc v#dmc5 dante#dante x male reader#vergil x reader#dmc vergil x reader#dante x reader#v x reader#nero x reader#vergil sparda#dmc nero x reader#vergil devil may cry#dante devil may cry#nero devil may cry#v devil may cry#headcanons#tw depression#tw self harm#icycoldninja writes#requested#thanks for requesting#headcannons#request
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not to be dramatic or anything but I hope the fact that you know I'm too forgiving for my own good yet I couldn't forgive *you* haunts you for years. I hope you see the implications of that and I hope you realize just how bad you fucking hurt me <3
#candyskiez vent#i hope the guilt keeps you up at night<333 i hope you lose sleep ovwr me like i losg sleep over YOU.#i hope you feel as god awful over losing me as i felt everytime you hurt me#i hope you feel the consequences of your fucking actions#i wanted to fix things. YOU made your choice.#its too late to be sorry. it doesnt matter that youre sorry.#i hope you never forgive yourself for fucking me over
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ppl like "i have to use ay-eye bc i can't drawwwww :(" ok whose fault is that. i can't draw either u know who's fault that is?? mine!!!! it isn't a bad thing but if i am unwilling to learn to draw that is Exclusively My Fault buddy!!!! if u refuse to practice that is, in fact, a you problem!!!! that's fine!!!! but u dont get to pretend u HAVE to use ay-eye bc an Uncontrollable Force prevents u from learning to draw!!!! u could just Go Learn!!!!
#it's also your fault if you can't kill the perfectionist in ur head. ALSO fine; there's nothing wrong with never overcoming that issue#but like. it IS a you problem. you are the only one who can fix it and acting like it's uncontrollable is frankly crybaby behavior#sorry!!!!! no one else has any power whatsoever to make you a good artist! it's ALL you!!!#yoshi talks#sry this was about ay-eye at first but now it's about everyone who whines about wishing they could draw like. who do u think is#responsible for that. whining about a thing you refuse to do and can only be done BY you is! frustrating and annoying!#i am sorry if this is the first ur hearing about it but nobody wants to hear u disparrage smth you refuse to make better when u are#in fact the only one who CAN make it better. whining will not fix it and it will not make you feel any better#if u want to learn to draw u have to learn to draw. that's it!!! it's fine if you don't want to put in that effort!!!#it's NOT fine if you then whine about the choice U made!!!!#and it IS a choice to not work on it bc it's hard/frustrating/confusing#it's that for everyone. the only difference between u and artists is artists chose to do it anyway.
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so lifeline au (or llau, for short) is an au combining the lifeline mobile games with hermitcraft. it's a fully written and completed fic series on ao3, and you don't need knowledge of either source material to read and enjoy - everything you need to know is presented to you, and knowing the source material is more for recognizing fun little easter eggs. the characters are extremely accurate to hermitcraft and what they are actually like while still being amazing characters to spend time with and having their own specific spin on them in this story. llau is a science fantasy story that goes into where science ends and magic starts, body-snatching aliens and what it means to be a person, the things you can do to help when the only thing you can lend is your own voice from a million miles away. it is about friendship, it is about identity, it is about how time and space shape the world. this series has genuinely changed my life in a thousand beautiful ways, and if you have any interest at all please read the proper descriptions of the fics and read for yourself. (and hey, drop a comment and give some love to the author, magpie slashmagpie. i owe him my life five times over.) https://archiveofourown.org/series/3156309
anyway! here's a few of my own aus for various things that i particularly enjoy:
outskirts au is an au featuring my ocs that's based off of the half-remembered plot and worldbuilding of a book series i read as a kid (five kingdoms by brandon bull) and the discontent i had with the ending. honestly, though, it spawned in the first place because i realized the main character's name (cole) was the same as an oc that'd really fit the job. the core of the worldbuilding is the same, but several things change for my own sake of enjoying more of a distinction and clarity between things. along with that, the characters are changed (they're my ocs rather than canon characters) and while the overarching goal of escape remains the same the choices on how they get there are different. it's not very built yet as a story, but i do like thinking about it.
ace au is a ninjago au spawned by two questions - 1: what if zane's death in season 3 was more permanent, and his identity crisis in season 4 was ramped up to a 110% through making him an entirely different person built in the shape of zane? and 2: what parts of the original show make me feel a deep amount of discontent, and how can i change it to make myself feel satisfied? the result is an (still growing and changing) amalgamation of ideas and theories and thoughts, where i try to stay true to aspects of the show that can't even stay true to themselves. i can fix her. i can do it. and i can bring a new character in during the process too (ace is the chosen name for the not-zane! hence the au name)
on the contrary to the previous, swap au (name change pending) is a ninjago au that i really have no good explanation for. the name comes from me accidentally swapping out the main roster of protagonists from the original few to an almost entirely different cast, made up of side characters who i wish got more screen time. i have the google doc for this one titled "i can make her worse". contrary to ace au and how i grow that for the sake of the show itself to shine brighter, swap au's primary growth and changes come from how i can enhance the new story rather than the existing show. i got rid of, like, half the seasons. i'm making an entirely new one. i don't want to fix her, because i have an au dedicated to that already, but i can make her worse (and more beautiful, in the process)
i have more aus but i'm running out of talking juice, this'll be all for now!
@mickemz01 @cheese-is-a-milk-loaf @aroninshonour @d0nut-gh0st @sneegsnitties :D
Okay everyone, Lets play a game!
Its like the tag/ask game except slightly different.
I want you guys to send me aus, ideas, underrated or aus that you enjoy, to me. Even if its a fandom I don’t know, send it to me! (Tho do tell me what fandom and maybe if you want explain a little about your au!!)(You can also reblog if you wanted and add onto the aus!)
Here I will start!!
Lost Au: Corruption au but 10x worse. Basically the corrupted ones have memories and everything they see is altered from reality. More info from this post. It works with all fandoms and is easily changed from orginal. (But the orginal’s ‘Source’ is very… specific.
Medieval au: Basically just the characters in a medieval setting. Thats it basically.
Legendary pokemon au: The main charcters are legendary pokemon while most side characters are humans. Easily adaptable.
Watcher au: (specific to Hermitcraft and the life smps) an au were one person (usually Grian) is a watcher. A god-like creature that watches other ‘stories’ and usually don’t have feelings.
Send this to your friends and add your aus!!
Every fandom is welcome!!!
Edit: Tag some people who you want to know more about their aus!
My tags: @heading-down-to-georgia @tinydragontoons @themissakat @twink-between-worlds
Can’t think of anymore, But I promise to add to that list!! :3
#i need a tag for tag games#i love llau. forever and always#it's been over two years since i first found it on ao3#i've grown a lot over these two years. it's hard to tell what growth would've happened regardless of the fic's existence#but i do know i've met the most amazing people through it#and they have helped me grow too#and the fic itself is just. augh.#it's forever changed the way i think about some things#llau is an inside out core memory for me#i know most of this chain devolved into ninjago#but i do know prev & op are both into hermitcraft (i see your aus!)#so. to the two of you who'll get this notification.#please check it out#i promise. you won't regret it.#i will say though#magpie slashmagpie is not afraid to leave questions unanswered for a long time#but they will all get answered eventually.#there is an answer to every question.#and the series will have a happy ending.
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for the record I'm keeping my #arcane and #arcane critical tags separate because 1) it's rude to go into a show's main tag to complain about it and 2) this way I can still go into the arcane tag on my own blog to enjoy season 1 stuff without being perpetually disappointed by season 2
#there were only two things that I actually got hyped for in season 2 (as opposed to The Entirety Of Season 1)#1. the vi and jinx fight scene with that awesome song#2. vander recognising powder#the whole family thing after that made me cry but the circumstances leading up to it were weird. wdym there's no jinx going back to sevika#and isha after losing track of vander. and isha just THROWS herself at her and sevika's like what happened to you and jinx is like I saw#vander. and sevika's like girl vander's dead are you on the crazy pills again but jinx is INSISTENT so sevika's like fine. maybe you should#call your sister. and jinx is like HA! and I'M the crazy one?! and it's a whole thing where you see her decide to reach out and that she's#been keeping tabs on vi because she 'likes keeping an eye on people who have betrayed her' but she just really needs to find vander and#make sure he was real. and despite it all vi is the one she trusts most with this. also sevika should branch off to continue the rebellion#storyline bc that's what she originally betrayed vander for and jinx is probably crazy anyway. *someone* needs#to keep their head on straight and let's face it that's been sevika since day one.#I guess this post is#arcane critical#now#oops#I could fix it though#I don't think a lot of the story works because past act 1 it isn't shaped by character choices#but at least make them TALK like themselves#and create the connective tissue required for it to be believable that they'd choose to fulfill these plot points#because let's be real jinx would try to find vander on her own and fuck something up before she ever admits that she needs vi#jinx doesn't like NEEDING anyone. she doesn't like being weak. that's her whole damage#powder was weak and jinx doesn't want to be weak#because weakness breeds suffering#not saying she'd NEVER reach out to vi if she really truly needed it. she kidnapped her that one time. it just wouldn't happen that fast
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i just finished watching buffy s1-s7 for the first time and like. s6 is good. not perfect, but still. it deals in the most obvious way with these big issues that are so human, and it's so real that even the season's vilains are kind-of-regular humans. the way it focuses on the characters' relationships, the way they grow, the way they hurt each other, the way they deal with becoming adults, with trying to have some control on life, on themselves, on each other, the way they fail, the way they have to deal with the consequences of their actions in the end... it was so interesting that i was even willing to go along with what i thought were bad writing choices, like: ok, that's awful but you know what, sure, let's see where we're going. and then s7 happens lmfao
#btvs#btvs s6#btvs s7#not really meta#but i guess that what really bothered me was the way s6 made consent such a central theme#and there's this whole thing about making choices and living with the consequences#and forgiveness#and learning#and growing#and fixing your relationships with the people who hurt you but that you still love#i mean it's a lot#and then s7 just tries to be all serious with the first#and keeps breaking the 4th wall to tell us how serious it is#it even feels like whenever these very human problems come forward you get someone to shut it down#like giles keeps shutting it down#and the thing is that the whole plot with the first seems kinda weak#and the show's tone changes and gets way less fun#which is a shame#idk i get that they wanted a big finish but :/#these very human themes just don't feel very well handled#it's there#but idk what they do with it man. idk.#that's a lot of tags
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i thought their voices made for a pretty interesting combination, so i made a little test thing to show it off
ust by Zoë (@/half-a-head)
#my video lol#my audio lol#i guess it counts as both?? can i really call it cover tho if its so short#oliver vocaloid#根音ネネ#nene nene#machigerita#vocaloid#utau#yeah whatever i guess i'll put tags for organization. asjdngkjfnkjfjdmg i can fix/edit them better later if i decide eeeee#this mix might still have its issues but pls 😭 it was my first time using cakewalk so dont b mean to me#and it wasnt meant to be something super final and polished anyways again this was just a little fun test so ye. idk if ill make a full ver#i also wanted to make a better little video but since it wasnt a full thing and i was running out of time i just made this instead#which i still think is good for these purposes anyways? i do need to practice/experiment more with aviutl#maybe a bit of a morbid song choice for their bdays lmaoo... but HEY IT COULD BE WORSE#(looking at how i drew piko getting his fucking heart ripped out by bestie miki for his bday last year lmao)#and also if youre a vsynth in my computer unfortunately you are doomed to my morbid ass song taste lol i dont make the rules#well. i do. its my computer. and per the rules actually yes sing little fucked up songs for me vsynths... hahahahah...
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Really struggling with trying to figure out what's me. Like what I enjoy and what ideas/traits/desires are actually my own. I think it's beautiful that people influence each other and grow together, but I'm left feeling lost right now and wondering what's actually me.
#idk ive been thinking about it a lot and really struggling#hard also to tell what's the depression and whats actually something i don't care about#i feel like i can say that playing world of warcraft was something that came from me.#but it started feeling like a chore in Dragonflight so i stopped playing.#and now everything feels tainted by other's influence and i dont know whats me anymore.#although i do need to remember that i did start playing Dragon Age on my own but it only feels like it was influenced by others because#i discovered my one irl friend used to love the games and then i got my other irl friend playing them#but i dont know how much of going into physics was my own choice or just following the path i saw before me#although i loved physics when i started doing mechanics in calculus and thought it was so cool#then i found accelerator science and detectors and nuclear physics to be so cool when i did an internship at a national lab#and then i took the most direct route to get into doing research at that lab#but things have gotten so lost and tangled up with all the horrible stuff that grad school puts you through#and the horrible stuff from this collaboration in particular#that it feels like all thats left is shame and fear and none of the wonder or curiosity#everything i do or write or whatever feels like an opportunity to 'get found out' as a fake or just fill me with shame#i thought that getting a job offer would fix me and help me get through the bullishit but the pressure is makikg things worse#and with this job im wondering if im just doing what im told and being influenced by other's suggestions and wants.#(dont go to grad school. its literally the worst thing you can do for your mental health)#vent#okay this actually kind of helped so im glad I made this post#feel free to reblog if you relate
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2023 reads
Adrift In Starlight
space opera adventure romance
a courtesan is hired to seduce the soon-to-be-wife of a famous actor
a historian who’s focused on her career & has no idea her marriage has been arranged by her rich parents
after a museum tour they and two co-workers accidentally resurrect an ancient alien artifact and end up on the run from the law, traveling from planet to planet
pan nonbinary transfemme MC, touch-averse ace MC
#adrift in starlight#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#I enjoyed this to an extent! but there's also things i'm iffy about.#while there’s clearly a lot of thought put into the worldbuilding and plot; it still ultimately feels like it’s built around the romance#pacings a bit weird. it goes from a to b very fast.#it really very suddenly pivots to Surviving In The Wild On A Random Planet like……..was that really your only choice??????#and then suddenly not. they resurrect this ancient alien fossil and go to its home planet and then it’s just like.#next scene now we’re on a pirate station lets go to the baths HUH???#i get that you have a magic thing that teleports you places fast but like. it doesn’t mean the narrative has to be abrupt too#there’s a lot of ace stuff but also some of it made me ????#like the author is ace but yknow sometimes intention =/= being able to portray things with nuance in writing#allo character hearing she’s ace and being like ‘oh she’ll only want friendship’ despite supposedly ‘knowing all about asexuality’#and adjacent: kinda has the vibe that her touch repulsion is Caused By something and has to be Fixed#it makes it clear that that and asexuality are two separate things and the asexual thing is def not something to be changed#but also…..regardless of sexuality; does touch repulsion need to be fixed? if someone’s fine with it?#some very….alloromantic monogamous rhetoric that felt a bit off#-and like to be clear this is me being very picky about little things but idk#another thing: the MC’s size is only mentioned in regards to people being fatphobic at her.#like not excessively but her weight is not ever described neutrally or positively at all? and since she’s thin on the cover I was like…..#is she? or is it just normal in this universe to insult someone’s size as an insult regardless?#(I do understand it can be hard for indie authors to get accurate cover models. but you could have made the contents of the book better)#this is all complaints LOL it's not terrible i gave it 3.5 stars? there's many good aspects but idk#asexual books
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