#i wanted to draw something more but i got sick in the midst of this 😭
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echoheart0324 ¡ 2 days ago
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Too little, too late.
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strong-with-the-sarcasm ¡ 1 year ago
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Part 6- from the top of my lungs
Dp x DC AU: Regent!Jazz & Vigilante!Jazz
"I step out outside and I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream from the top of my lungs, 'What's going on?!'" - What's Up? by 4 Non Blondes
Masterlist Part 5
It was probably hypocritical of Danny to lecture Jazz about taking up a vigilante role around their new haunt when he himself couldn’t resist the instinctual urge to give the local breed of stupidity a beatdown. 
If anything, it was a good way to get back into shape.
(Danny’s not fooling anyone, he’s a twink.) (A ghouly goopy ghostly one, but still a twink.)
Danny argued that he had more experience with vigilantism than Jazz, when she’d taken up a support role even after training. Sure, her aim has gotten so much better with practice, but Jazz was only a liminal. 
(A highly ecto-contaminted liminal with a scary sword that can cut through reality to create portals that currently does his kingly paperwork for him.)
At least he could comfort himself with the knowledge that Jazz was trained by the frightening and awe-inspring Pandora of the Infinite Realms Acropolis, bearing her own gifted Bracelets of Submission as a symbol of respect from one woman to another. 
(Jazz and Pandora sparring made the Boy King eternally grateful to be on the good side of both women.) 
(Scary was an understatement.) 
(No wonder Jazz and Sam got along so well.)
(Batman and Wonder Woman were supposedly friends, being founders of the Justice League and all.)
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Gotham was all kinds of batshit crazy when the sun went down.
(pun recognized and intended.)
A dumb statement for any Gothamite, but newcomers to the city never really got it until the were robbed at gunpoint within five minutes of sunset. 
That wasn’t really a concern for Danny, he’s gotten into the habit of phasing his important items into his body for safe keeping, but his increased need to do something made his late night walks morph into something that vaguely resembled his Witching Hours patrols back in Amity. Midnight to three am, strictly rooftops without too much barrier crossing into Hood’s territory were now fully integrated into the Halfa’s life- the purring of his core when he protected someone was healing something inside him he hadn’t realized was sick. 
(Lies.)
Without the Red Hood to manage his Haunt, the Boy King and Regent had brute forced their way passed the boundary line to help the once-Revenant’s people until the one in question could do it himself. The habitants of Crime Alley were hesistant at first to accept more vigilantes into their midst, especially one that was obviously a meta with a concerning range of physical abilites, but with the Regent’s quiet strength and Phantom’s quirky attitude they were begrudgingly allowed to continue. 
(If Phantom also used his ice manipulation to help stablilize dilapidated buildings being used as shelter for the upcoming winter, then all the better.) 
The Regent had been caught in the Bat’s territory more recently, much to Danny’s worry. Jazz could no doubt break the furry over her knee, Danny had seen her do it to Skulker of all people, but drawing the ire of the big bat was the opposite of ideal. Batman’s Stabby Robin might even try to challenge Jazz for her Ecto-sword, which was both hilarious to imagine and panic-inducing, because stabby Robin was stabby. 
After the early morning chat with the Signal, Danny had come to a decision regarding the leather clad crime lord furry and his flock of birdies- step up as the Boy King and request Batman’s help in riding the Realms of the Anti-Ecto Acts. Jazz already did so much as his Regent, he could at least get the ball rolling on this. 
In order to begin, he had a sad trenchcoat man to call. 
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“Bloody Hell, Phantom!” 
The Phantom, in his original jumpsuit rather than the admittedly awesome Star King regalia, grinned with a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth. Closer to a snarl, but whatever. 
“Sad trenchcoat man! Just the guy I wanted to see.” 
Danny knew the guy’s name, hard not to when he’d seen the three floor-to-ceiling filing cabinets in Jazz’s office dedicated to the Laughing Magician alone, but the halfa was nothing if not dedicated to the bit. 
When he’d sensed Constantine’s magic at work, he’d hijacked the summoning circle for his own use- suck it, a king trumps whatever entity Constantine was trying to get and Danny was less likely to want his soul in return for a favor. 
(Did it really count when he’d already gifted the glued together pieces of the guy’s soul to Jazz as a paperweight?) 
“Phantom, lad, why’re you here?”
The Ghost boy huffed a laugh, the building annoyance in the air just from his presence was fueling his life force. 
“What, can’t say hi to a friend now? After all the work I did to stop that demon from coming instead too.” 
(Lies.) (The summoning had been for an observant, but those bastard eyebags can eat a dick for all he cared.)
“Demon?” Constantine’s voice cracked with surprise, gaze flickering over the runes he’d lazily copied from a book. 
“Yep.” 
“Constantine.” A growl interrupted whatever comeback the Magician could have conjured, with the shadows of the darkened room parting to allow the Dark Knight himself to step through. “There is no time.” 
“Aye, Batsy.” The brit turned back to Phantom, an edge of desperation now coloring the annoyance the ghost had brought. “Phantom, I need a favor.” 
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Phantom blinked. 
“Uh, sure dude?” 
“Constantine.” Batman interrupted again, but the sad trenchcoat man waved him off.
“Your people been wreckin’ government buildings and the bloody USA is throwing a fit.” 
Government buildings? Phantom’s people? The GIW? 
Could his luck really be in his favor this time? After all, here was Batman, and the sad trenchcoat man who could verify that Phantom was a spirit of protection and not one of vengeance. 
(He left that to the Regent.)
“If that’s the case, then there is nothing I can do.” 
(He would be right there with his people. What’s a few more buildings destroyed to free the innocent ghosts trapped within?) 
“Whot?” 
Phantom crossed his arms, allowing gravity to bring him to the floor where he stood at his full height. Unintimidating was one word for it, but he couldn’t really care less at the moment. 
“The GIW have committed acts of War against the Infinite Realms, Constantine. It’s only thanks to the Regent and Future King that this Living Realm hasn’t been claimed by the Unquiet Dead.” 
It was true. Jazz was the best Regent Danny could’ve ever gotten. She was liminal enough to understand that the Denziens of the Realms were not inherently malicious, but human enough to realize that she too would be afraid of the ghosts if she hadn’t been raised around the dead and (un)dying.
It was only thanks to that fine line she walked that Phantom wasn’t to join the Unquiet Dead and Neverborn as they descended onto the Living with the fury of thousand suns. 
Danny, while a half-ghost, had died unlike his big sister. Sure he was brought back by Ectoplasm, but he had only returned halfway and that part of him was chomping at the bit to avenge those who were ended that he couldn’t protect. 
“Here.” Phantom shallowly intoned as he pulled a flash drive from his chest, thrown to the big bat. “That contains all collected information the Regent was comfortable sharing with the Living. Share it with your league and get the Acts demolished, Batman.” 
Phantom sighed heavily, shoulders drooping as he finished in a tired voice, “Please. I don’t want to fight. Please don’t make me go to war.” 
Was he trying to tug on the Bat’s heartstrings? Yes. Was he being honest in not wanting to got to war? Also yes. 
“War?” 
“Yeah, all denziens of the Realms would have to fight. We’re all effected by the Acts, even if we don’t want to hurt anyone we’d have to…for our right to exist.” Phantom replied lowly. “I’m a spirit of protection, I don’t want to hurt the innocent.” 
(It was a truth he had come to terms with, after his sister killed their parents.)
(He died wanting to be loved and protected by the adults who claimed to be his parents, but it had been Jazz that raised him.) 
(She avenged him twice over.)
(She gave him a grave.)
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A/N: No Hardcover/Anger Management ship content this time, just lore for this world I'm building.
And look, Sad trenchcoat man!
Song quotes are from the same songs on my Jazz/Jason playlist. Typically the song that started playing when I get ready to post this.
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nothums-from-tj ¡ 5 months ago
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Returning to my series of “barely anyone else cares abt this ship that I’m crying over so I’m gonna make a post abt them myself”: Mordeson edition
If you don’t like the ship please just fuckin scroll I don’t need anyone clowning today thnx
I have so many things I want to write and draw however I am so overwhelmed so I’m spewing my nonsense onto Tumblr to feed the like 3 people paying attention to these dorks <3 for the most part here are just like tiny little hcs/moments/ideas of them that have infected my brain. Cut provided to make it not unbelievably long for the rest of my followers
Categories: headcanons, ideas, “cutaways” (basically my iterations of what happens post-episode endings or in the midst of flashbacks/stories, between scenes, etc.)
I’d also like to thank @mushtoons for letting me yap abt them in DMs/on Discord, some of these in which I’m copy/pasting from my side of conversations with them <3
Headcanons:
-Mordecai sometimes patches up Benson’s hand(s) after usually breaking it by punching something out of anger on varying occasions
-the way they likely comforted one another during the Margaret, CJ, and Audrey heartbreaks with Benson probably gave Mordecai harder/grosser jobs to keep his mind off things and Mordecai gave Benson excuses to head home late to lessen the chances of bumping into Audrey
-the car radio along with show/movie nights consist of more bickering than watching/listening to anything
-Benson is the Worst backseat driver and Mordecai has to try to politely tell him he’s going to lose his mind if he tells him where to make the correct turn to both of their place of work; that said, for both of their sanity, Benson usually drives when they’re together
-there are days where Mordo has to literally force Benson to stay home bc he's either so sick he can hardly stand, so overwhelmed he can't think, or is in so much pain his body is practically crumbling beneath him
-sometimes when Benson gets reeeally into a beat, drumming on the steering wheel or a pen against his clipboard or something of the sort, Mordecai will try to start singing along to it so he’ll remember it for practice or whatever
-he has thrown hands over people trashing Benson behind his back
-and he has to semi-frequently talk/hold Benson out of a self-deprecating spiral
-Mordecai's parents absolutely adore Benson and were some of the first people to say "so when's the wedding!!!!" when first introducing him as his bf
-the opposite happened when Benson introduced Mordecai to his parents; I’d say his parents got divorced when he was young and his mom was kinda chill though his dad was kinda passive aggressive and just didn’t really put in a lot of heart, though Mordecai learned a lot more abt him from his dad than his mom
-Mordecai is the first to say “I love you” and Benson bawls on the spot
-Mordecai draws/doodles Benson during meetings/assignments when he starts to develop feelings for him
-Mordecai gets crazy flustered at pet names bc he doesn’t expect them whatsoever; he’s always been the one giving them rather than receiving, though he always appreciates them
-Benson is also crazy touch starved while Mordecai can be pretty jealous so usually in public they’re always seen touching in some way; one leg over the other when sitting, handholding when walking, an arm around the other’s waist/shoulders, etc.
-they prob hooked up at least 1 (one) time pre-relationship and swore they’d never tell anyone abt it
-Margaret and Mordecai are platonic soulmates as much as it is a dismay to most their romantic relationships; Benson is the first/only one of Mordecai's partners to fully accept this
Ideas (if anyone writes these before I get around to them pleeeeease please send it to me I’d cry /pos):
-swap AU of sorts where they have a secret relationship while Rigby and Eileen are more “center of attention”
-in addition, switching up Benson and CJ in a lot of scenarios make a lot of sense (specifically thinking of “New Year’s Kiss” and “Thomas’ Play Date”)
-Benson is such a little cuddle bug, Mordecai gets totally thrown off guard by how affectionate he is when they start dating
-Benson gets stuck having to watch his sister’s kid for the day while on the clock and as much as he loves seeing and hanging out w them he can’t do much while at work, asks Mordecai and Rigby to hang out w them for a bit until he’s done what he needs to and he later gets confused why his heart does weird flip-floppy things to see Mordecai being an amazing babysitter later
-Benson having a rough day mentally and asks to reschedule a date, which Mordecai asks if he’s ok and wants company which he doesn’t wanna “be a burden” or thinks Mordo won’t want to be around his sad self all day and he has to be kinda regularly reminded, “You’re my boyfriend, Ben. I always want you around.”
-Benson getting nightmares and/or flashbacks of the dome experiments and Mordo does his best to help through the severe paranoia and skittishness in the morning, unless he wakes up to it happening and he’s able to help him through it/get back to sleep
Cutaways:
-“In The House” Benson was nowhere to be seen until after Rigby finished his house/wizard story which Benson was like right next to Mordecai so I like to think Benson walked in early-ish into Rigby’s story and it’s Mordecai that beckoned him over to include him in the storytelling
-“Weekend At Benson’s” post-ending in which Benson maybe just felt too horrible to bring himself home so he hangs out at the house where Mordecai figures if he and Rigby feel awful already, Benson’s gotta be going through the same thing 10 fold so he sits with him all day doing his best to provide comfort and consolation while Benson spends half the day vomiting and sobbing from the searing pain in his throat
-“Eggscellent” after Benson getting punched, in which Skips probably had to be the one to tell Benson in private that while it’s ok for him to be scared and concerned and to feel betrayed and disrespected, what he said to Mordecai also wasn’t cool before explaining Jonathan Kimble and the journal he found; after apologizing to Mordecai he tries so hard to prove himself by being his biggest cheerleader, trying not to question the eagerness to be by his side and sudden overprotective urges
-“Return of Mordecai and the Rigbys” I think maybe a little bit too much abt the times they’re sent to the hospital and being the first two awake to have a few minutes to chat privately, and some of the dialogue I had in mind to not make this post even longer
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-“Dumptown, USA” particularly when Benson went after Audrey broke up w him; maybe he left his phone behind, maybe he didn’t, and I doubt he was gone nearly as long as Mordecai, though he might’ve still been gone a few days to a week and incredibly hard to reach, leaving everyone else panicking over Benson not showing up to work to the point of sending a wellness check and getting ready to file a missing persons report by the time he comes back; Mordo’s the first to see him and instinctively runs to give him a hug, surprising them both
-“White Elephant Gift Exchange” with Benson being pretty OCD coded, similar to the first hc above following the “glove incident” where Benson likely washed his hands like 6 times to the point of cracking bc he didn’t feel “clean” enough (speaking as somebody with OCD and similar experiences)
This isn’t even remotely all of what I have this is just long enough already and I’m trying to figure out how I wanna execute the rest LOL. Anyway if anything here strikes inspiration feel free to write/draw/whatever and tag me bc I’m itching for more content of them I’m losing my mind <3 feel free to talk to me abt these dorks in DMs or my ask box too!!!!
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rainisawriter ¡ 1 year ago
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Fall Farther – Seungmin (PSF #31)
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Ficography
Genre: Fluff, slice of life
Prompt: Hot Chocolate (@flufftober)
Word Count: 1,773
Pairing: Reader x Seungmin
World: Stray Kids
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Arms wrapped around you from behind, a chin resting on your shoulder. This brought a smile to your face, prompting you to lean back against his warm chest. The smell of his pumpkin-spice shampoo reached your nose, mixing with the gentle scent of his cologne. It was then that you realized where you were.
“Babe,” you called softly, patting his arms. “Someone’s gonna see us.”
“Let them,” muttered Seungmin, nuzzling his face into the side of your neck. “I missed you.”
“You saw me this morning,” you laughed, shifting in his hold so you could face him. He looked exhausted after a long day of interviews and video filming.
“And it’s nighttime, now,” he pouted, tugging you closer. “That’s too long without you.”
You cupped his face, glancing around to ensure that no one was nearby before bringing your lips to his. He responded without hesitation, humming in satisfaction. When you finally pulled away, he chased your lips, claiming another kiss.
“Another hour and you can get some rest.” You brushed the hair away from his forehead. 
He nodded, reluctantly pulling away when he heard voices down the hall. He smiled politely at the two female employees who walked past which they returned with polite bows. “You don’t have to wait for me.”
“You’re right, but I want to. Feels wrong going home without you.”
Seungmin smiled warmly, eyes sparkling with love. “Thank you. I’ll try not to make you wait too long.”
“Don’t worry, there’s always something to do around here,” you chuckled. “Now go on, I’m sure the others are wondering where you went.”
He nodded, throwing a quick glance around the hallway before dipping down to steal a kiss from you. As badly as you wanted to draw it out, it was too risky and you had to gently push him away before you got pulled in to the whirlpool that was Seungmin.
Sending you a smile, he turned around and headed back to the practice room where the rest of Stray Kids were waiting. Shaking your head, you returned to the cardboard boxes stacked in the hall. They were filled with supplies ordered by the stylists and you had been tasked with transporting them to the storage room on the second floor.
Not a fun job by any means but at least it would keep you busy. 
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You stifled a yawn as you sat outside at the back of the JYP building, sitting on the ground with your back against the wall and a cigarette dangling from your fingers. It was pretty late by this point, most of the employees having left already but the boys were still in the midst of learning their new choreo. 
The night was fairly cold but it didn’t really bother you. Autumn was your favorite time of year and, though it could get pretty chilly, it wasn’t cold enough that it was uncomfortable for you. You just wished you didn’t live in the city so you could see more leaves changing colors.
Your phone buzzed in your pocket and your brow furrowed when you saw Seungmin’s name asking across the screen. Why was he calling you? Did he think you left already? “Minnie? What’s up, why are you -“
“Baby, I need a huge favor.“
“Yeah, of course.”
“My brother-in-law’s mom is sick so he and my sister are heading out of town to go check on her. She doesn’t want to bring Eun with her and risk him getting sick, too, so she asked me if I’d watch him for the weekend. I know we were supposed to go to the haunted house but he’s my nephew and –“
“Minnie,” you chuckled softly at his worried tone. “I don’t mind at all. Do you need me to go pick him up?”
“No,” he breathed out in relief. “She’s on her way to the apartment. Can you meet her there, please? We’re almost done and I promise I’ll be home soon.“
“I’m on my way.” You stood up, taking a long drag of your cigarette before putting it out and throwing it in the trash.
“Thank you so much, honeybee. I love you.“
You smiled at the nickname. “I love you, too. Don’t work too hard.”
“I promise.“
After exchanging goodbyes, you slipped your phone back into your pocket as you headed toward the parking lot. Your apartment wasn’t too far from the studio so you were able to make it home in about fifteen minutes, helped by the fact that traffic was pretty light.
Just as you reached the front door of the building, you heard your name being called and paused. Dalrae smiled tiredly at you as she approached, holding the hand of six-year-old Eun.
“I’m really sorry about this,” she apologized with a bow. “I know this is super short notice but we just found out and Minjae is really worried.”
“You don’t have to apologize, I understand,” you offered her a polite smile in return. “Seungmin is still at work but he should be home soon.”
She nodded in understanding before kneeling down in front of her son, brushing the hair from his eyes. “Eunnie, I want you to behave, okay? We’ll only be gone for a few days and you can call me any time, okay?”
Eun nodded before wrapping his arms around her neck, giving her a hug. “Be safe, mama.”
“I will,” she smiled, pecking him on the top of the head before standing up and handing you the bookbag she was holding. “There should be plenty of clothes for him and I made sure to pack a few things to keep him occupied. If you have any issues, feel free to call.”
You accepted the bag with a nod, putting your arm through the strap. “Drive safe.”
“Thank you. Bye, Eunnie, I love you.”
“Love you, too, mama.” He waved at her as she walked away before turning to you and taking your hand. “Can we go inside, please? I’m cold.”
“Of course,” you smiled down at him before leading him inside the building.
After catching the elevator to the third floor, you brought Eun into your apartment, turning on the heater to remove the chill from the air. He quickly took his shoes and jacket off before heading for the couch and wrapping himself in the blanket you had been using earlier.
“Would you like some hot chocolate?”
“Yes, please!”
You nodded with a smile before disappearing into the kitchen. While the water was heating up, you checked your phone to see several unread messages from your boyfriend. You had missed them because you had left your phone inside while you waited for his sister to arrive.
> Are they there yet?
> Don’t wait outside too long, you’ll catch a cold.
> Noona just told me she dropped Eun off. You were waiting outside without a coat >(
> Practice finally finished, I’m on my way ♡ ILY
You smiled at his concern, about to respond when you heard the door open. You stepped out of the kitchen in time to see Eun running at him, a bright smile on his face.
“Uncle!” he cried joyfully, throwing himself into the older male’s arms.
“Eunnie~” Seungmin hugged him back tightly, a soft smile on his face. “It’s been so long, you’ve gotten so big!”
“It hasn’t been that long,” he giggled.
“It’s been ages,” replied Seungmin with a pout, ruffling the young boy’s hair. “We’re gonna have a lot of fun this weekend.”
Eun looked excited for a moment before frowning. “But… what about work?”
“Don’t worry about that.” Seungmin kneeled down in front of him, brushing the hair from his eyes. “You only need to worry about what costume you’re gonna wear when we go trick-or-treating!”
His eyes lit up. “Really? You’ll take me?”
“Of course!”
“Thank you, uncle!” He threw his arms around the older man’s neck, smiling happily.
Not wanting to interrupt, you returned to the kitchen. The water was warm now so you poured it into three mugs before adding the hot chocolate mix to each and stirring the contents.
Arms wrapped around you from behind, Seungmin’s chin resting on your shoulder. “You’re gonna add marshmallows, right? The tiny ones.”
You chuckled at the question. “Of course, but I want it to cool down a bit so they don’t instantly melt. I don’t want Eun to burn his tongue, either.”
Hearing your concern for the young boy filled his chest with warmth. There was just something about you being so caring toward his nephew that made him feel so happy and proud. 
He hummed, hugging you tighter. “And here I thought I couldn’t fall farther in love with you~”
“If you’re gonna fall, can you do it on the bed so I don’t have to carry you?” you joked, earning a pout from him.
He clicked his tongue as he pulled away. “You’re lucky I love you.”
“The luckiest in the world,” you replied seriously, smiling at him. 
“Me too,” he admitted as he grabbed the bag of marshmallows from the cabinet. Rather than place them inside the cups, he started to eat them out of the bag.
You sent him a look. “Really?”
“What?” he frowned, taking a moment to eat a few more. “I had a long day and I’m hungry.”
Your gaze softened, knowing how hard he had been working for their comeback. “I know. A bag of marshmallows isn’t the healthiest thing, though.”
He considered it for a moment before nodding, nose wrinkled as he handed you the bag. 
You started to distribute them among the three mugs. “Take this to Eun. I’m pretty sure they’re playing the Nightmare Before Christmas tonight.”
“You’re not joining us?”
“I’m gonna make dinner.”
He frowned, eyes following you as you started to set ingredients onto the counter. “Just order something. I want to spend time with you.”
“It won’t take long,” you promised, tugging at the collar of his shirt until he closed the distance, his lips claiming your own. As much as you didn’t want to, you gently pushed him away. “The hot chocolate is gonna get cold, babe.”
“Then it’ll be cold chocolate,” he muttered, chasing your lips again but you put your hand between the two of you with a chuckle. “You’re so mean.”
“I know,” you patted his cheek. “Now get that hot chocolate to Eun, stat.”
“Fine~” Seungmin pecked your cheek quickly before grabbing the mugs and leaving the kitchen. 
With a smile and a warm feeling in your chest, you sipped your hot chocolate before getting to work on dinner.
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-> General Taglist: @asterhaze, @mrskenpachizaraki
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azikarue ¡ 1 year ago
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Life in Color : Chapter 30 : The Future
Max/Mariam | FFN Rating: T | FFN Link ❖ “Thinkin’ about Blondie?”
The disgust was obvious in Dunga’s voice even before Mariam turned around and saw the scowl on his face. He looked grumpier than usual, which might have had something to do with the fact that he’d been conscripted to help her and Max move. Never mind that she’d been making sure he got the heaviest boxes all day, waiting to see how long it took him to notice.
Mariam smirked. “We’re married now – I can think about him all I want,” she said, drawing out her words as Dunga’s face screwed up even more.
“Gross,” he spat vehemently. “Keep your sick fantasies to yourself, Mariam.”
“Oh, relax.” She rolled her eyes. “Don’t get all worked up.”
“You should probably take your own advice, Sis.” Joseph appeared and gently set his box down in the pile of things that were meant for the kitchen. He brushed the dust off of his hands and said, “Think too hard about Max and you might start on those grandkids Mom and Dad want sooner than you bargained for.”
“For your information,” Mariam said, doing her level best to ignore Joseph’s shit-eating grin and the fact that it got wider when he realized he’d annoyed her, “I was thinking about what project to start first around here.” Joseph’s eyes sparkled in a way that meant trouble, so she shut him down before the words could even leave his mouth. “A nursery isn’t on the list!” she said and smacked him upside the head for good measure.
They’d been plenty busy lately without adding starting a family into the mix.
Mariam and Max had begun looking for a house in Japan over a year ago, right in the midst of planning their wedding. Mariam immediately regretted not letting Max jump the gun and start as soon as he graduated and moved back with his dad; house-hunting was way more difficult than she’d anticipated. She had no idea what she wanted, aside from privacy and something that wasn’t smack-dab in the middle of the city, and being asked dozens of questions every day by their realtor only added to the overwhelm she felt from making decisions about the wedding.
They toured a dozen properties and, with each one, there was something not quite right. When they came to see this house, which she suspected was a last-ditch effort by their realtor to find anything halfway suitable, something clicked.
It was far from perfect. Having stood vacant for some years, the garden was overgrown and the house itself had fallen into disrepair. The doors stuck, the appliances needed upgrading, and everything was covered in a thick coating of dust. But it was quiet, it was spacious, and their nearest neighbors were on the other side of a thicket of trees.
It felt like home.
“You should start with the back porch,” Dunga crowed, interrupting her thoughts. “I almost fell through the boards back there earlier.”
“Are you offering to help?” Max asked. He was smiling – hadn’t stopped since they’d gotten the keys – and carrying one half of a mattress through the door. Ozuma came through shortly after with the other side and they leaned it carefully against the wall. “I can get the supplies delivered any time.”
“With Dunga’s help, we won’t even need to bother unpacking the tools.” Mariam glanced around the one room they’d scrubbed completely spotless. It was filling up quick with a bunch of stuff they wouldn’t be able to unpack until they’d finished thoroughly cleaning the rest of the house. “He can pound the nails in with his thick skull.”
“Hey!”
“The truck’s almost empty out there,” Ozuma interrupted, nodding towards the front door. “You want us to go back to your dad’s for another load after this or stay and help clean?”
Max gave the room the same once over that Mariam had moments before. They didn’t have much furniture, and what they did have was temporary, taken from Max’s room at his dad’s or donated by friends and family. The rest of their boxes were from Max’s apartment in New York or Mariam’s bedroom in her village, but there wasn’t a lot that had been worth dragging from country to country. One more trip would easily move all their worldly possessions from Taro’s basement to their new home and then they could return the truck they’d rented.
On the other hand, their kitchen appliances were set to be delivered the next day. It was earlier than expected, which would have been a good thing if they didn’t still need to clean years worth of dust out of the spaces the old ones had left behind. And everywhere else in the house.
“While all of you stand around thinking about it, I’m gonna go get another box,” Dunga grumbled, lumbering off to do just that.
“Make it two while you’re at it,” Mariam called after him. “We didn’t invite you for your company.”
Dunga looked back just to flip her off and Joseph snickered. Mariam might have gone after Dunga to teach him a lesson if Max hadn’t chosen that moment to get her attention with a hand, gentle and low, on her back.
“You had a good system going yesterday,” he said, referring to the way she’d scrubbed the room they were standing in from top to bottom while he’d gone around the house unsticking the windows so they could air the place out. “We can tackle the kitchen together if Joseph and Ozuma don’t mind finishing up out here with Dunga?” He phrased it like a question and directed it their way.
Ozuma simply nodded, a hint of a smirk on his face as he followed Dunga.
Joseph wasn’t so quiet. “Make sure you leave the door open,” he teased, “or you really will need to add a nursery to the list.” Then he was gone, too, before Mariam could reprimand him or Max’s blush could fully bloom.
While her teammates unloaded the truck, Mariam began the task of cleaning the kitchen with her husband. She sat on his shoulders to clear the ceiling of cobwebs. Then they started on the cabinets, climbing onto the counter tops and wiping away all the dust and a couple of dead spiders. They scrubbed the walls, counters, sink, and lower cabinets, dumping multiple buckets of filthy water in between.
At some point during the process, Joseph popped his head in and let them know they were taking the truck to Taro’s for the rest of their stuff. He made sure to tell them the mattress better be right where he remembered when he returned. Mariam had thrown a dirty rag at him that stayed on the floor until they pried open the doors to the porch and swept all the fallen dust out for the wind to steal.
By the time the others got back, Mariam was polishing the wooden cabinets until they gleamed and Max was finishing up with the mopping. Mariam was on such a roll with cleaning that she moved on to the dining room next, while the guys unpacked the truck.
She learned that she preferred cleaning to unloading. It felt like she was making real progress as she washed away years’ worth of grime, instead of cluttering up the place. There was something addicting about seeing the true bones of their home revealed and falling more in love with it as she went.
She took a break once, to say goodbye to Ozuma, Dunga, and Joseph when they finished and left, then went right back to cleaning. Max alternated between helping her and sorting their belongings so there would be a path for the delivery the next day.
The sun was setting by the time they finally called it quits for the night.
Mariam was sore and sweaty and starving, but it was worth it to see the entire ground floor spic and span and, thanks to Max, a good chunk of boxes moved to the appropriate rooms. She was wandering between them now, picturing what it would look like with everything unpacked and full and theirs. It felt surreal.
A pair of freckly arms circled her waist from behind, interrupting her daydreams.
Mariam sighed and fell back against Max’s chest, tipping her head onto his shoulder. Her hands came to rest on his arms, tracing the hard line of muscle there as he squeezed her tight.
Max nuzzled his nose behind her ear and sighed, making goosebumps spread over Mariam’s skin.
“Max,” she drawled, squeezing his forearms, “that tickles. And I’m all sweaty.” She added the last bit as an afterthought, but she was suddenly aware of how the short hairs at her nape were clinging to her.
The only answer he gave her was a series of kisses over the side of her face, lips dancing up over her jaw and cheek. She could tell the eternal smile was back on his face when his mouth lingered on her temple. Even when she couldn’t see it, it was contagious.
“I’ll take more of that after I shower off,” she promised through her smile.
Max chuckled. It reverberated through both of their bodies and Mariam felt even more at home.
“Dinner first,” he said, disentangling himself from her and taking her by the hand. “Come on.” He gave her a tug. “And watch the floorboards.”
His warning made more sense when he led her out onto the porch and around to the back of the house. She could see the corner that Dunga had mentioned earlier where the wood was sagging and discolored. On the other side of the porch, Max had spread out a blanket and laid out a couple of cushions. He’d dragged one of their boxes outside to act as a table, too – there were two to-go containers on top of it that she recognized as coming from Kenny’s parent’s place.
“They’re probably cold by now,” he said apologetically. He sat down on the blanket and Mariam collapsed next to him with a grateful sigh. She hadn’t realized how tired she was until now. “My plan was to reheat them, until I realized we didn’t actually have a way to do that.”
He looked so sheepish that Mariam couldn’t help but laugh and lean over to give him a solid kiss on the cheek.
“I’m hungry enough to eat anything,” she said, stomach growling as she reached for her noodles.
“It was a long day.”
She felt Max’s eyes on her as she took her first bite. The noodles were lukewarm, but right now she would swear she’d never tasted anything so delicious in her life. He must have been satisfied with her reaction because he had a dreamy look on his face when she glanced back over. She raised an eyebrow in question.
“But it was a good day.”
Mariam suddenly felt warm all over. “It was,” she agreed, setting her bowl down.
Night was falling. Out in their jungle of a backyard, fireflies were blinking in mesmerizing succession. There were so many of them that the trees looked like they were sparkling with stars. The real stars were glittering in the sliver of sky above the treeline. There weren’t as many of them as back home, but there were so many more than in New York where the sky was an inky black canvas no matter what.
The surreal feeling was back. Mariam’s heart felt twice its normal size and had become unexpectedly lodged in her throat.
Max’s hand closed around hers, lacing their fingers together and squeezing. “I keep feeling like this is a dream,” he confessed in a whisper.
Mariam watched the fireflies flicker in his eyes and that was exactly what the sky at home looked like. Safety and adventure – security and possibilities – all at once. She hadn’t always understood that the two could go hand in hand, but seeing the scene in Max’s eyes, it all made sense. She let out a shaky breath, dinner all but forgotten.
“I don’t really know how to explain it.” Max stroked her wedding band with his thumb. The Saint Shield earring in his ear caught the moonlight, mimicking the firefly show. “It just hit me like a ton of bricks and I’m so happy.” She could see the emotion glistening in his eyes and it made the knot in her throat tighten. “I love you and this home – this future – we’re building together. So much, Mariam.”
“You’re such a sap,” she teased, voice sounding a little watery even to her own ears. Then she leaned in and kissed him hard and slow.
She swore she could taste the sweetness of his words on his tongue as he kissed her back, drawing her onto his half of the blanket, and into his lap, like he’d been waiting to do it all day. One of his hands settled on her hip, thumb nestling into the crease of her thigh like a puzzle piece slotting into place. The other came to rest on her waist, comfortable and exciting all at once.
Mariam cradled his face and pulled back for a breath. “But me too,” she mumbled against his lips, seeking out his hazy blue eyes. “To all of it.”
When he sighed in response, Mariam kissed him again.
Whatever had hit Max, it was safe to say it’d hit her too.
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chesters-ocs ¡ 9 days ago
Text
something overtook me. i just like it when theyre teenagers and fucking stupid and then have to face minor consequences for their minor actions. its funny to me
wc: 1k
The unlocked window of the 2nd floor bedroom is slowly pushed open, as the teen climbs in. He quietly closes it shut afterwards, before glancing around the dark room.
"Psst, Syl!" he whisper-yelled to the lump under the blankets.
He gets no response.
"Syl?"
"... Wha.." he grumbles, turning around in the bed, scowling at the intruder who woke him up from the nap.
"Sleeping?"
"Fuck do you think?" Sylvester cusses, his voice creakier than usual, eyes puffy.
"God, you look like shit, man," he muses, pressing a warm hand to his forehead, before pulling back with a raised brow at the heat.
"Your dads know you're sick?"
"..."
"Sylvester..."
"Don't wanna worry em'," he waves the concern off, to no awail, as his boyfriend just scoffs, sitting down next in the chair across the room.
"Hmh. Mind if i stay around then?"
"Do whatever. Night," Sylvester groans, rolling over again and curling up under the blankets.
"Night. Dream of me~" Adam teases, though not getting any response, except a slight snore. He fell asleep already.
The teen just looks around the dim room then. It's a mess of stuff everywhere, ranging from walls covered in band posters to a pile of mystery items on the dresser. His gaze briefly lingers on the bright red bass guitar: a near and dear possession of Sylvester's. He recalls something about his buddy gifting it to him so they could start their band.
Leaning back in the chair, Adam just stared at the ceiling, before lighting a cigarette and then toying with his lighter, flickering the flame on and off constantly, finding the repeated action soothing. As for the cigarette smoke... he'll ventilate later, Adam figured as he watched the smoke dissipate in the air.
It was a peaceful moment, just him, the feel of tobacco in his lungs and the slow breathing of his boy on the bed.
Pocketing the lighter as the cigarette neared to its end, he was startled by the door opening, being too zoned out to hear footsteps of one of the grownups approaching.
"What the fuck..." the low voice of one of the father's muttered, causing Adam to jump.
"Jesus-!" he swore in surprise, accidentally extinguishing the cigarette butt on his own skin, followed by more assorted curses in languages Vikram had only heard his friends speak.
"Adam?! What are you- Hey, show me that!" he ordered, already grabbing the hand the teen was clutching in an effort to self-soothe the burn, as if he could smell the burn itself. His intention to stay quiet in his sleeping son's room out the window right away.
"Piss off! It's fine," the teen attempted to pull away, to little success.
Not taken aback by the attitude, the father just yanked him upright from the chair, a clear instruction on his tongue: "Bathroom, now. Hand under running cool water, but not freezing. Got it?"
"And if i don't?" Adam challenged.
"Then I take away those fucking cigarettes of yours for good."
"Real scary," the teen rolled his eyes at the threat, not at all impressed by it, which worked to grind Vikram's gears further.
"Just go already. I need to ventilate this place now, thanks to you! I'll check in 5 minutes, so you know."
Sighing, Adam left, begrudgingly following the advice.
In the meanwhile, Vikram opened the windows wide, wanting to get rid of the smoke plaguing his son's room. He briefly wondered why the smoke alarm hadn't picked up on it, but if he were to check, the man would find no batteries within the device. Though, it's a problem for a different day, as the teen stirred from the fever-induced nap finally, the loud yawn drawing the attention from his father.
"... Ugh... Adam?" he slurred, sitting upright in bed. One hand reached up to rub the sleep from his eyes. Upon stretching, he found himself in the midst of a coughing fit, likely from the smoke.
He grunted softly as a hand found it's way into his hair, stroking the dyed hair, which was followed by a familiar voice, which held the warmth of a hundred suns: "He's in the bathroom. Sleep well?"
At first, all he got was a slight wince, as the teenager stifled the coughs, composing himself, which morphed into a low, needy whine. The sound, ever so uncharacteristic, caused a spike of concern.
"Sylvester?"
"Mmm...?"
"Are you alright?"
"... Dunno," he drawled lazily, which was when Vikram checked his temperature. He almost didn't want to pull his hand back, with how heavily his son leaned into his touch, not missing the small purr which escaped.
Though instinct overtook him, and as much as he wanted to stay and comfort the sick teen, he knew he needed to at least ask his husband to make stew for their kid, as well as to check on the little troublemaker who, surprisingly, had not left the bathroom.
As the father stood up, his heart almost broke at the soft whine, but he persisted.
"Cold," was a one word complaint which finally set the man into action. Swiftly rising and reaching the still-open windows, he closed them, deeming the room ventilated enough for the time being.
"Go back to sleep, I'll wake you up for dinner," he urged from the doorway, before shutting it completely.
Once in the hall, his gaze flickered to the other teenager in the house right now, who was now wiping his hands on a towel, the bathroom door wide open.
"Adam! With me. Now."
He was surprised when he actually complied without a word, bringing him to the kitchen, where the burn soothing gels were kept. He uncorked one and passed it to the injured teen, grimacing slightly as he finally got a good look at the skin discoloration, which will surely not go away for a handful of months at the very least. Probably will scar too.
His husband looked at the two of them warmly: "Oh, hello! Something happen?"
"Yes. Could you make that one soup Sylvester likes? Adam will explain what happened in the meanwhile."
"What- Hey!"
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the-firebird69 ¡ 8 months ago
Text
Freya Ridings - Dancing In A Hurricane (live from Kings Cross Station) 🥰
youtube
A lot of people are looking at me I see you're saying that it's an airplane place they have to get there these days if you miss it you're in trouble save two days more or three or even a week so I'm sitting there playing and I felt okay and your big guy came by and started talking about the hurricane and I said I was outside dancing around and he says you're kind of prancing and people started laughing and said I wonder if that's her and I heard there would be a surprise no she's a giant and they started coming around a little towards the end there's a whole bunch of people there and stop playing and they all came up literally they stopped walking and came over as I was and talk to me okay it didn't but they're busy and he said they're going on a plane and I'm talking about the stuff and singing about it and I'm wondering if it impacts people and he says it's a great thing for a painting because you don't know if they're impacted or not but you can see their face and they look stunned and it could be because you're wearing a red dress and you have fiery red hair and a larger woman and pretty in this they don't see that often and I say thank you but you're right the look on their face is showing it and I probably should do a painting or two and no I don't want to do it your way let's take a picture for me but really you're right they're impression was there's something up with it and he says he's over us and he's keeping the stupid bugs in there and the frogs and he wants them to come out in order to force his way down to kidnap our friend and we're all drinking this s***** water with bug juice and frog juice and we're getting sick and we're mutating like madness and going up and down is from the bug juice and people are filtering it a lot and it doesn't do much and they are boiling it and finally it and still it does it does not take all o I decided to stop singing but it's causedf it out after boiling it and bottling and they're purifying it and it still doesn't do it all you need these bugs out of here they're going to try and attack us with the bugs and draw them up to the bunkers and that's their idea I said there's other people who are a lot worse than we are and we're hoping to do that and they say they have to attack and they can't or they get wiped out so that's what we face and I heard that part and I'll get sad instead of singing about it and it's not that great I decided to stop singing but it's caused by Tommy f he's above us causing a hurricane occasionally he's trying to now and he's holding the bugs there somehow not letting people do it and he's trying to kidnap all the leaders and he's horrendous and Trump is horrendous now these people can't be trusted and should not be in our midst we have to deal with them through him they're so damn dangerous and horrifyingly bad and he says he's kind of a rebel of talking about it and they're kind of going rogue and Trump is too and Tommy f and it's horrible and we're fighting our people the warlock and it's terrible too anywhere so her horrific time oh I had a hell of a day today too I tried to go downtown where I am and to get my license renewed no it was to do some busy work some paperwork that is and I found out that I'm being obstructed by a whole bunch of idiots music and the message I'm trying to be on the same side you're in my way all the time and they said I'm harboring them and helping and I have to be waylaid so I got interested in said I wonder what that really is I'm trying to kidnap me they'll be hostage. So I'm staying away from their areas now and get what people are saying they're very mean and aggressive and they're going through this revolutionary war stuff like the past doesn't matter and they're ignoring it completely and I found them checking for the Giants then they're not and not caring I said this is bad and they're terrible we're going to go through this stupid story like our life is a fairy tale and it'll be over and we'll have died being characters in a story that's horrible
Freya Ridings
I was thinking my husband in the storm and she was too and she doesn't have a husband and she went outside and was happy to be alive and she's kind of saucy up there she likes it a lot of people are very mean but she's still happy about things and went inside and kind of get sad because she's alone and the storm came she was upset and she told me and I was upset they tried to make her feel better and it didn't work so good and she went around town complaining finally left and went up north and found her people and felt better this place is terrible people don't treat each other as humans it's getting worse not better and I started thinking about it too it's getting nasty here and Tommy f is encouraged and the pseudo empire is pushing in yet it hasn't changed
Hera
There's a lot of things happening and it's going to change and pretty quick and pretty soon and people should hold their heads up because it's going to and it's from all of our work we have a lot of stuff going it's going to stop these imbecile and certain ones. They're terrible terrible people and they're exhaustingly annoying and they're going to be checking out they're going after each other real hard and it's going to be happening real soon. Evidence is that they are going and breaking out their stuff they're going to fight the pseudo empire and they're fighting Trump now Trump is losing miserably and in the wrong place at the wrong time and it's true he's getting beat up up there very badly his force is not very big and he is not very powerful up there and he's weakening and soon he's going to be out and a lot of people want him out he's a pain in the ass now they're pushing to pull him out of positions of power all over the world and it's working now and it is getting easier and easier as The fleets disappear his disappear near Earth is forces are getting beat up and it'll get better and better for others and he's an oppressive disgusting psychopath and weasel his forces in space or cut in half and hit about 700 billion now it's 350 and it's going to be less believe it or not the space battles are going to be over in just a couple hours and there won't be any of them left for the most part only the pseudo empire and minority morlock and probably some Tommy f. We're working on robotic factories and not to do Tommy F stuff no we're going to do that too it sucked and he had RC controls on most of it and it looks really stupid. And they're going to want it too so we're going to make the scenarator and it's going to work there's a lot of people that don't want us to but we want them and we can use the Corvette chassis cuz they're just sitting there riding we want them the hell out of here like robots if we're going to put them there and change them over and use them for manufacturing also it's a jobs we're using these robots for and it's a great idea they're trying to hit us and we're going to make stuff that works for us we have about 10 plants that are planned and we're setting them up this week I'm going to start making stuff. It's a great idea there's other things happening too and they are that we have been cited on the scope and no is there fleets are disappearing they're going to start attacking the pseudo empire again in earnest and they have picked the fight with us and our son to send me out for his money and we are going to start documenting what they respond to us because what they're doing is starting trouble with us. We are also telling people to not bother our son and we meet all of us and he's worked till he's working a lot but he says a lot but these people are bothering him all the time so we got to do that there's a couple more things Hera is disgusted with their behavior as are we but she has to listen to it all day long and all night and we need to be sensitive to that and we have more people heading north and you could imagine it's a huge huge battle that's going to take place against the pseudo empire and we think they get wiped out cuz pretty soon they won't have chips and yeah stupid too right now there are a few more things the cast and crew of trumpsters are heading towards several destinations and they want stuff and blood and all this other crap but really is heading towards the stash of caches looking for Giants below and he's going to use the tunnels to go way below and we think he's going to try and take stuff but he's actually looking for Giants and we should wipe them out there's other stuff happening but this is right in the forefront
Thor Freya
Good there's a huge number of things to do we want to get these plants going cuz they're going to be effective at doing a bunch of stuff and we want to make sure that it works
Savage oppress
Olympus
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pastorralffriedrichs ¡ 10 months ago
Text
Jesus heals Alcohol/Drug Addiction
Often times I go to the Bible for faith and inspiration.
I can often draw inspiration and guidance to help me through our day to day life. There are often scripture listings I can go to help read about certain difficulties I face.
But how does Jesus Heal Alcohol/Drug Addiction?
One of the most powerful things I was taught through reading the Bible that Jesus has the ability to heal the sick.
Some of the amazing stories in the bible are of Jesus doing these good works.
I saw that Jesus helps a crippled man walk,
I heard of Lepers being healed,
I heard of sight of the blind being restored.
These stories in the bible are powerful and uplifting. I often thought about how wonderful all these things are but fail to see that healing power of Jesus is here for all of us.
Addiction is often crippling, it corrodes your ability to live and function without your substance of choice. It is a sickness and disease that takes over your whole life. It can destroy lives and demolish families. I do want to also tell you this, Jesus can heal the disease of alcohol/drug addiction. Here is what that bible tells us:
Matthew 9:35
35 And Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people.
As someone who struggled with drug addiction and tried many times to stop using drugs on my own, I knew that arresting my drug addiction was not something I could do on my own. I needed Jesus. For many years this was a solution that I did not want to face, How after everything I have done and life that I had lead would Jesus want to help me? I was ashamed, embarrassed and hopeless. I lived my life in fear of what others would think of me, of what my life would become if I accepted Jesus as a solution. Then the day came that the pain got so great that I was willing to accept help from any source available. At this point, God showed up.
The bible says in Luke 17:21, That the Kingdom of God is within you.
Once I learned that the Kingdom of God was within me I no longer felt the need to try to battle my drug addiction on my own. I knew that it was possible for me to have my own story of a miracle just like all the ones that were in the bible. This healing power was not given to me because I was a spiritual person or I did everything right, in fact, it was quite the opposite. I had lied, cheated and stole my way through drug addiction. This power was given to me as a gift. All I had to do was be ready to receive it. This gift was called Gods Grace.
Ephesians 2:8
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—
I can tell you first hand that I have been healed.
I no longer have to use mind or mood altering substances to get out of bed in the morning or to go to sleep at night.
The power of Jesus changed my life, and even though it may sound a little different than all the miracles in the bible we read about I do know for 100% certainty that it is a modern day miracle.
Jesus is alive and well and working in the lives of those struggling on a daily basis.
My story is just one of the countless others who have been healed.
As we are in the midst of a nationwide opioid epidemic, I want you to know that Jesus is still out here on the front lines.
We are seeing families restored and countless people saved every day. I personally witness these miracles every day.
I am blessed to be part of a Christ-Centered addiction treatment show in which I can see Jesus heal alcohol/drug addiction every day here at the
Take Your Life Back Today SHOW
Matthew 11:28
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
If you are struggling with drug addiction and feel like you have no place to turn, please know that you are not alone.
The kingdom of heaven is within you too.
Reach Out.
We are all here waiting for you, to help you out of the darkness.
#takeyourlifebacktodayshow
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eremiie ¡ 4 years ago
Text
study session, sex songs
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❥ armin x reader | nsfw | 2.3k words
❥ content: semi public sex, vaginal fingering, a sex tape
❥ a/n; an ask i got that i took an ss of and then tumblr deleted my asks, but i HAD to do this🙄!!!
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you were bored.
you were so bored that the sound of the rain drops hitting the window next to you was almost a form of entertainment, or maybe the shuffling of people trading books on the shelf.
at this point anything was better than the piece of paper and book in front of you. you had been staring at the words so long that they were all the same. you were rereading the same sentence over and over again, and aimlessly sketching small drawings on the paper in front of you.
studying wasn't your strong pursuit, especially with your boyfriend next to you, who seemed to love it. at the thought of him, your eyes glanced over— a sight for sore eyes when you had been staring at chemistry notes for the past half hour.
a pencil was dancing on paper in between his slender fingers, jumping with every lift of his hand and coming back down to the white sheet like a figure skater on ice. he wore glasses to study, large frames sitting on the bridge of his nose, his hair so close to touching them. those same blonde locks almost hid the earphones that were snug in both ears, and you wondered if whatever he was listening to is what helped him study so diligently. his tongue stuck out just a little bit in concentration, while his eyes flit back and forth between the paper in front of him and the book above it.
he must've been watching you watch him, his attention turning towards you and the mechanical pencil coming to a quick halt mid sentence. he set it down to the table gently, and you lifted yourself off of the surface to balance your head on the palm of your hand. "armin." a whine of his name, clear discontent laced in your voice.
"yeah?" his reply was so simple, so innocent. as if he didn't drag you to the library with him, practically pleading for you to just sit down and study with you knowing you hated studying, especially in the atmosphere of a library. there were too many distractions and you weren't comfortable. not to mention the fact that you were clad in a skirt.
"i can't study, can we just go?" his expression didn't change at the sound of your complaints, eyes still calm and lips still together in a line. you didn't want to come in the first place, he should at least give you the liberty of leaving when you asked— especially considering how long you had been in the quiet library.
"do you think listening to something will help?" armin's eyebrows came together as his hand came to point at the earphones in his ear. you really didn't want to stay, but when you thought about the focus your boyfriend was in that you broke you did feel a little bad.
your legs shifted from under the table and you sat back in your seat, crossing your arms in your lap and letting out a sigh, eyes traveling around the vast library. when they landed back on armin the earbud was already sitting pretty between his fingertips. it was glaring at you and you were glaring at it, but nevertheless you leaned forward and plucked it from armin's fingers, his lips upturning when you did.
he slipped his hands in his pockets to fumble with his phone and you picked up the pencil in front of you to try and get back to studying, checking to see what page armin was on while you waited for the music to play in your ears. what music was armin into anyways? the last thing you could remember him listening to being a spotify playlist full of lo-fi beats.
only... it wasn't lo-fi beats that began to play.
or music.
your body went rigid, pencil in your hand beginning to feel heavy, leaving you to wonder how it hasn't clattered to the table yet. a chill ran down your spine because what you were listening to was all too familiar— from the wet sounds that happily made its way into your ear, to a moan of armin's name that sounded much too like your own voice.
it was your voice, because when you heard another moan it was armin's cry of your name.
it took you a minute to turn your head towards armin, his eyebrows raising over his eyes in question of what you could possibly want now. he hummed a small "hm?" to figure it out, as if it wasn't obvious. that look of innocence was played by him again, blue eyes twirling with curiosity as if there was anything to be curious about. as if your sex tape wasn't a reason for you to look at him funny— eyes blown and mouth agape.
when you didn't respond— only still staring at him dumbfounded, he shrugged his shoulders and continued to scribble on his stupidly neat paper.
were you hearing things right?
your eyes flashed, brows knit as you shoved armin's shoulder, his pencil flying off the paper and messing up the "e" he was in the midst of writing. "you messed up my paper." he grumbled, and oh, was he a little too good at this game he was playing with you.
"what is this?" you questioned, disregarding the flimsy sheet of paper he was writing on because that was clearly the least of his issues.
armin used his pencil to point to your book, confusion taking over the once curious look he had just moments ago. "...a study session i would assume." he wasn't letting up, and your lip twitched at his response.
"no— i mean what am i listening to?"
"well, out of everybody you should know." your body stiffened again, a slow blink at his response that came out almost too smoothly, words sliding off his tongue like silk. you had to pull your gaze away from him as he only did just what he did earlier, going right back to studying like there wasn't anything off about the moment you were sharing.
if he wanted to play with you, you'd just have to join in his game.
so with a huff of breath, and the lewd noises that were still playing in your ear you turned your body back towards your notes in front of you and tried to read them over again. your name was the only thing comprehendible on the sheet, every word below it a jumbled mess.
"light wave... light waves, diffraction pattern..." you spoke slowly, reading as if you were back in the first grade.
your hands moved down from the textbook and to the paper in front of you, nimble fingers forming words on the paper that you could only hope would make sense when you'd read them back.
diffraction pattern - occurs only
"only who?"
"only you fuck me like this, armin, please!"
the tail of your y went a little too low, and your legs turned to jello, squeezing together when you heard your voice swim through your ears. blood was rushing to your cheeks, and you leaned closer to your book, burying your nose in it despite not actually reading what was on the pages— at least well. with a suck of breath you continued to write,
diffraction pattern - occurs only you fu
your eyes shot open mid sentence, and you scrambled to spin the pencil around until the eraser met the paper, erasing what you had written furiously, and you swore you heard a small chuckle leave armin's lips, you biting your own and scrunching your nose up at your pitiful mistake.
your hands came up to rub at your temple, the sound of a moan armin drawled from you a couple nights ago was what you heard next, and it might’ve sounded nice those nights ago, but now it was embarrassing.
you squeezed your eyes shut, much like your legs and as flustered as you were you couldn’t help but feel... aroused.
it was something about hearing armin fuck into you so nice. the way that even though there was no visual for you to look at, you could visualize the moment so clearly— so vividly, because the more you listened the more you could remember making the tape, remembering what happened during the tape.
armin’s hands had slid up your back, a handful of your hair being grasped by his hand, a sinful arch being created by your back, and you let out a choked whimper, that you didn’t even realize you reciprocated in real life.
armin’s head slowly turned to you and his lips were forming a sick grin, and you would’ve been mad if you didn’t want him so bad, if you didn’t want every moment you could hear to stop being the past and become the present, the very moment that was playing in your ear to play out in front of you.
a whine, a pleading look on your face; eyebrows turned upwards and your hips grinding down into the chair below you.
armin could’ve almost laughed if he wanted to, and he almost did when your hand slid into his lap to grab his and pull it to the hem of your skirt, the fabric brushing lightly against his fingertips, but he didn’t push forward.
“armin,” his name never sounded so nice on your tongue, never sounded so desperate. your grip on his wrist tightened and urged him forward, and so he let them slip under the soft fabric of your skirt, and even past the band of your underwear, and the closer he inched towards your aching cunt the wider your legs spread for him.
his finger felt cold against your clit when he touched it, rubbing small circles right away, and your face looked like it was melting at his touch, your body was melting at his touch.
and he was being kinder than expected— letting his fingers dip down further until your slick allowed for him to enter into you, your body shivering at his touch, at the stretch.
your head fell forward onto the table with a louder than expected bang, and it caused both you and armin to jolt, the people around you stirring a bit.
you didn’t care too much, but armin did, his fingers stilling and his eyes going back to his textbook, eyes darting back and forth between the words as if he was really reading them, and you wanted to give him a prize for best actor right then and there.
“shh.” he said without looking your way, but his fingers began to move again, and you tried your best to not let out a moan. “gotta be quiet if you want me to fuck you with my fingers... this is what you want right?”
the sound in your ears were practically drowned out by your thoughts, by the squelches of your juices being moved around by armin’s middle finger, by the sounds that only you could hear— and maybe armin if he listened enough.
“yeah... i want it.” the small pants that were leaving your parted lips, and they only increased when armin inserted a second finger, his hand making itself comfortable in your underwear, fabric harshly rubbing against his pale hand with every thrust of his digits into your pussy. “want it so bad.”
you looked like a dog, a puppy in its heat, pushing your hips forward to get him deeper into you, but it just wasn’t enough.
you were needy and needed more, so your own hand smoothed down to your clit and you began to rub circles, whimpering at the sensation, the pleasure flooding through your lower half, almost making you dizzy.
hell, you were dizzy— drunk even; drunk on the lust that was twirling in your pretty head, and drunk on armin’s fingers— it was like the way his hand moved when he wrote notes, moving precisely and ease.
his fingers fucked up into you, curling when they were deep enough, and making your body lurch forward. “again.” you needed to feel that again. the fingers on your clit went a little faster, because you knew you were close. “again.”
and he did it again, hitting that spot that made you clench around him, and he kept doing it, and your fingers kept moving, you were progressively getting louder, but it didn’t matter as you were getting closer to coming as well.
and you did, body tensing up and every nerve in your body pinching, mouth dropped open and eyes rolling to the back of your head as your hand came to hover just over your mouth just in case any sound left you.
you slumped over onto the table, pulsing around armin’s fingers but your own slipping out of your skirt and onto the space of the chair your legs made.
armin finally let out a stupid small laugh, his soaked fingers finally leaving your sloppy cunt and entering his mouth, tongue twirling around your release. it was a shame you weren’t looking.
you could hear it though, the obnoxiously loud slurping sounds he made and the hum of content he made before popping his fingers out his mouth. what you couldn’t hear was the tape. it must’ve stopped in the middle of armin fingering you.
and you also heard the slide of armin’s chair against the floor of the library, the sound of a book cover meeting it’s back, and the shoving of books into a bag.
armin looked over his shoulder with a bored expression, one that was eerily similar to the look you had given him just earlier when you were bored of studying.
your eyes met his; eyes still calm and lips in a line once more... “i can’t study anymore. let’s just go.”
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kisstheassassins ¡ 3 years ago
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Hi there😊May I request a HC with Connor and SO who is an assassin in The Tyranny of King, but in this SO doesn't remember him when he finds her in the same prison as Kanen'tó:kon hanging by her wrists being tortured by a bluecoat(similar to what happened to Leliana in DA Inquisition). Also she would the same person he originally knew, but cold & kind of emotionless. Not to mention she wouldn't trust him either. Lol sorry that got dark, but thank you for taking the time to read this!
I hope this is to your liking 😊
Also im using (p/n) as your preferred pronouns.
The two men had finally been liberated from the prison they were held in, but Kanen had one last thing to do here before he could finally leave.
There they were at a four-way cross section of the jail, with Kanen looking around at each hallway as if he were trying to remember something.
"What is it?" RatonhnhakĂŠ:ton asked his friend; his hand was pulling on Kanen's arm to make him hurry, but he pulled away.
"We cannot leave yet," the other man says, running down one of the halls. If Connor hadn't trusted his friend he would have gone the other way, but he follows close behind.
They find themselves at a closed door, and behind it a voice can be heard. It's cold and harsh, and upon creaking the door open Kanen realizes its not just one person, but two. You hang by your wrists from the ceiling by chains, feet barely hitting the floor as you gasp for each breath.
"I know that there were more of you," the guard says harshly. He has some sort of blunt weapon in his hand to strike you when he thinks you're either lying, or doesn't like the answer you give him. Your face is bloodied and bruised.
"Beat me all you want," you growl, "I'm not saying a damn thing. You and your false King can rot in hell."
Your voice rang through RatonhnhakĂŠ:tons ears like a cannon firing just beside him. His breath quickens as he and Kanen rush in just before the guard strikes you, startling him.
However, before they can reach him your legs wrap around his neck tightly, using your chains to lift you up and choke the man with your limbs. You apply more pressure with each passing minute, and eventually jerk your hips sideways to result the sound of his neck snapping. His body slumps to the floor, as well as your legs. You're exhausted.
Kanen moves the dead body to the side and searches for the key while RatonhnhakĂŠ:ton looks you over. He's still trying to process that he even found you, let alone in this prison. And the state of you; it made him sick to see you so beaten. He always promised to protect you and to prevent this type of thing.
"Took your bloody time," you say, an exasperated smile gracing your lips. Kanen unlocks the braces one by one, and RatonhnhakĂŠ:ton helps you stand when each hand is free. You can't help but fall to the floor, and he helps you down gently. Kanen kneels on the other side of you.
"I don't particularly enjoy leaving my friends behind," he says. You rub your wrists and wince at the pain; no doubt these bruises would be here a while.
Your eyes meet the other man's, suspicion building up the more he stares. His eyes are soft and his mouth is partially open like he wants to say something.
"Friend of yours?" you ask, looking up at Kanen. He nods.
"More like a brother. This is RatonhnhakĂŠ:ton."
You both lock eyes again, and a sense if warmth and familiarity fill your chest. It confuses you; you know you have never met this man in your life, so why are you so..... fuzzy?
You nod at him in greeting.
"(Y/n)," you say, and even though he knows it, he smiles to you anyway.
Kanen and RatonhnhakĂŠ:ton help you stand up and keep you close to support your legs, as it was somewhat difficult to walk after the beatings you received.
"Go on ahead," RatonhnhakĂŠ:ton says, "I'll help (p/n)."
With just you two now following a ways behind Kanen, Connor has a close grip on you and you can't help but notice how closely he watches you. You don't have to look to know, but you can feel his eyes on you.
You try to break the wall with small talk.
"Thanks for doing this," you say, "uh.... " A laugh escapes you. "Sorry, I don't know how to say your name."
He knew it was coming, but he played a long.
"What would you like to call me then?" he asks softly. Your eyes meet his once again and you chuckle.
"My mentor," you begin, "he had a son. Died when he was only six." A pause. "Is Connor okay?"
The man smiles and nods, fixing his grip on your back. You fall in closer to him as your legs are still weak.
"It's perfect," he chuckles, but you weren't able to feel how his heart ached and yearned for you at that moment. "How about we get out of here, hm?"
-----
Benjamin Franklin had been attending to your wounds on your hands and wrists, while the other two who saved you leaned over a table discussing their next move for the revolution over Washington. You can't help but stare at Connor and wonder why he felt so familiar to you, but you never met the man.
"Something bothering you, (y/n)? " Ben asks. You keep your eyes focused.
"How come I've never met Connor," you say. Your friend looks to where you are looking.
"You mean RatonhnhakĂŠ:ton?"
Your eyes glance to Ben and then back.
"We settled on Connor since I can't pronounce his name," you say.
Ben finishes up wrapping the bandages around the cut on your palm, watching you wince as he tucks the fabric in.
"Well," he begins, "I don't think Kanen'tĂł:kon expected to find his friend here in the midst of all this. He went to war with Washington even before RatonhnhakĂŠ:ton and his mother did."
You sit up off the table and pulls your sleeves down over your bandages.
"Do you trust him?"
"He's been very helpful so far," he states, "in fact, I believe he's done more for us in the past week than we have in a month. I dont think you have anything to worry about."
----
A brief war table meeting later, and everyone has departed to complete their duty for the day, leaving you to rest and Connor to go over what he had missed over the past few weeks. You find yourself beside him staring at the wall of photos and drawings that you and your colleagues had collected for evidence and tracking. Connor stares up at Washington, eyes malice and eager to find the man.
"You seem to have a personal vendetta with him," you say, more so than we do."
Connor looks to you and then back at the wall, exhaling sharply.
"He has done a lot of harm and damage to my people, as well as the rest of the world. My home was burned, my people enslaved."
He stops a moment to collect himself and take a deep breath, almost preparing himself for what he had to say next.
"He... murdered my mother. My father."
You swallow the lump in your throat; people were lucky enough to survive Washington's wrath, let alone escape it. A majority of those here weren't so lucky.
"I'm sorry," you say softly.
A few moments pass and you can't help but stare at him, that feeling familiarity hitting you dead in the chest again. Your palms are sweaty too, you notice, and you're chewing the inside of your cheek. Connor glances your way and turns his head when he sees you.
"What?" he says. You exhale sharply.
"Are you sure we haven't met before?" He shakes his head. "I feel like I've seen you before and its driving me mad."
Connor shifts in his spot, thinning his lips and staring at you, waiting, as if he wanted to speak. But he doesn't. Instead he watches you get closer.
"I don't normally trust people so easily," you say, "but seeing Kanen being so open and close to you, I feel like I can too. Don't take me the wrong way Connor, but you feel real familiar to me and I don't know why."
He smiles sheepishly, memories if you flooding his mind back in.... his original world. All of this surely had to be a nightmare.
"Perhaps we should work together," he begins, "see where this goes from here."
You smile at him and he does the same for you, making you chuckle. You pat his arm and make way upstairs; he is in close pursuit.
He prayed to his ancestors nothing happened to you after this.
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chipper-smol ¡ 3 years ago
Text
Hollow Knight Telephone Round Two: Babysitter SL
Prompt: Shade (lord) is in the midst of final exams and they’re more stressed and tired than usual while babysitting. They accidentally fall asleep in the middle of a calm spell and the god babies become worried. The next time Shade comes over, all of the god babies present a gift they all made together!
By @minnesotamidian-blog​
Shade barely noticed their surroundings as they entered the nursery playroom. Plastic clattered and they sighed as Radiance yelled at the top of her lungs. At least she wasn't screaming. Yet. The scene was set: Unn was still in a crib and chewing on a bar, Root was climbing slowly onto a chair. Radiance was knocking over plastic blocks as Grimm cackled away. For once, Wyrm was playing peacefully with a kick toy, batting at it with his tail. Root got onto the chair and squealed, raising her arms. "Big Root now!" The little blue-eyed godling squeaked out.
Shade picked her up, hugged her to their chest before holding her out. "Now you're a flying Root."
She screamed laughter as Shade tiredly walked her around the room before setting her down near some of her favorite toys. They made sure nobody else had claimed the chair and took a seat, bending over to pick up the fussy moth. "Ancient enemy!" Of course she bit their hand.
Shade winced and just ran a hand over her fluff. "Are you hungry for something that isn't void?" They spoke tiredly.
"Oranges!" She yelled out.
The teen sighed as he went to the mini-fridge with snacks and found some miracle of miracles! pre-peeled oranges. Shade pulled them out and put her in a high chair with one at a time so she wouldn't be tempted to throw the extras at them.
Finals were here and they were really taking it out of the gangly god. Why did they have to know stuff about inorganic chemistry? Why did they have to know about history nobody cared about? There were some fun subjects, but the finals seemed to even suck the fun out of those classes, going over notes and studying everything just in case. They'd been pulling long nights and the night before had been an all-night cram session-and they still had to come to work, they couldn't afford not to. They'd underlined all the stuff the teacher had said was important to remember and had written down stuff from the last finals about each teacher's usual tests.
It made narrowing down what to study from impossible to I'm totally toast. They groaned as they set down a calmer Radiance the opposite side of the room from Wyrm. She found toys that interested her, at least. Root wandered over to Wyrm, who was really into knocking at the kick toy and purring. Root settled nearby and burbled as she hugged and gnawed a plushie.
The teen couldn't help it. The kids were calm for once; their head started to tilt forward, eyes heavy. They were exhausted. Shade's eyes closed and their breathing deepened. At first, their toys were too interesting to notice their babysitter's state; but it didn't take long for Grimm to get bored enough to fly over and notice. "...Shade? Shade's eyes are closed." They landed and the four children not in a crib headed for the batlike godling.
"Is Shade dead?" Wyrm sounded worried.
"Don't be stupid, they're having a nap!" Radiance huffed.
Root looked up and swayed before patting Shade's leg. "Grown-ups don't have nap times." She was tearing up.
"Nuh-uh, they're having bad dreams and it's tasty!" Grimm clamored onto their lap.
The others joined, Radiance grabbing Unn to join them on the sleeping teen. Grimm rested between Shade's horns, Unn was on one shoulder, Radiance on the other, with Root and Wyrm curled up together on Shade's lap, Wyrm purring for once.
When Shade woke up, they were surprised by the weight on their body and forced themself to look down and around before moving. "Uh oh, I fell asleep… sheesh, I'm glad this place isn't a fiery disaster." They picked the godlings up. "You're not dead!" Wyrm exclaimed.
Root burst into tears and even Grimm joined in on the crying spat. Shade sighed and spent the rest of the time comforting them until meal time and settled them down. Time to go home for them all!
But the worry didn't leave the heads of the little godlings. "We should make something for Shade. If they're having nightmares, they might be sad." Radiance sighed. "But that doesn't mean I feel bad for my ancient enemy!" "What do we make?" Root twirled around, slowly turning in place until she fell onto pillows in her dizziness.
"Something of clay! I can burn it dry!" Grimm hopped around.
"But there's no clay." Unn spoke slowly, thoughtfully. "But there's crayons and paper."
"Oooh. We can make a pretty picture for Shade!" Wyrm waved his head happily. The group went for papers and each started to draw on the paper. "You're taking up too much paper!" Wyrm whined.
Radiance complained in turn, pointing at the color he was using. "I want that color!"
Wyrm growled and argued back. "I had it first!"
They started rolling around over their drawings, biting and clawing. Grimm gave a solid scream that startled the two. "You ruined Shade's pretty pictures!" He yelled.
The two looked at each other and hung their heads. "...sorry." Radiance muttered.
"-'m sorry." Wyrm looked away from the moth, skulking. "Start again? You can have the crayon, Radiance…"
Radiance took the crayon and they all picked up the last piece of paper. "I think this is better." Root spoke cheerfully.
It was three days later, once Shade had a solid night's sleep and finals completed that they'd returned to work. A large construction sheet of paper in grey covered in scribbles and rough names and messages was waiting for them.
Feel better soon Shade
Love you
Best babysitter
Tastiest nightmare!
Not the worst anciant ancient enemy.Shade could only feel warmth and laugh, hugging the drawing to themself. There were some days the job felt like the best thing in the world.  ------------------------------- By @tomatotimes
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By @loud-whistling-yes
"No."
The kids protested louder. Shade lifted the TV remote higher up, now above their head.
"Screentime's over, I said no."
Wyrm attempted to crawl up their leg in what was a rather pathetic attempt at stealing the remote, but was promptly shaken off. Grimm tried next, flying overhead to snatch the controller. Shade ducked and grabbed him by the tail before he could send himself flying straight towards the ceiling fan for the third time that day.
"Find something else to do," Shade said as they stuffed the remote deep into their pocket, much to everyone else's dismay. "Look, as much as I'd love to shut you guys up for the whole day, you've all been staring at the TV for hours now and I don't want to get in trouble with your parents."
Louder complaints.
"No, no, no. I am not cracking this time." Shade announced as they pulled Radi, who was hissing like an angry cat, off their jeans and pulled their phone out. "You guys got me last week, never again. No more TV for you, we're doing something else before I lose my money for tonight. Google almighty, what is your suggestion."
activities to do with children
fun activities to do with children
activities to do with toddlers
what can I do with kids that isn't a major headache to deal with goddamnit
Go to the park? Shade took about half a second to consider the thought before wondering why they even thought it was possible anyways. Five kids from the deepest depths of hell, outdoors? No. No park.
Finger painting? A pain to clean up, but better than outdoors. Then they looked up from their phone and considered the idea with greater thought. Grimm's wings, Radi's legs, Unn and Wyrm's… er…. Body?.... Nevermind.
Play pretend? …. If they hear the name Hallownest one more time they might just go insane.
Hide and seek? No. No no no no no. No more hide and seek. Shade was utterly sick of hide and seek. If they had to spend another second stuffed inside the closet or trying to get Radi off the roof they'll probably quit the job right there and then.
Baking?
… That might work. Sure, cleaning up is gonna be absolute hell but it's the only thing Google suggested that they haven't tried yet without horrible results.
Shade stuffed their phone back into their pocket and made a getaway to the kitchen, everyone else following, probably still trying to get the remote back. Butter, eggs, flour, sugar, oh, even some chocolate chips…
"Well then," They declared, pulling every ingredient out of the cabinet and fridge. "We're making cookies! And no, no one is allowed to touch the oven when it's hot. If you guys behave we'll have cookies in like, an hour or something like that."
The kids watched in confusion as Shade ran around the kitchen, pulling out bowls and spoons and a bunch of other utensils while typing furiously on their phone.
Cookies recipe
Cookies recipe easy
Cookies recipe for beginners
Cookies recipe for kids
"What do you guys think about chocolate chip cookies?"
Multiple chitters of approval. "Chocolate chip cookies it is then."
Step one: sieve the flour. Oh wyrm, first step and it's already gonna go to shit.
"Okay, you guys can watch this but for the love of the holy wyrm, do not touch it." Shade measured the correct amount of flour before scooping Wrym and Unn off the floor onto the table so they could see while Radi pulled herself onto the chair. The Lady had already clinged herself onto their sweater and Grimm was doing just fine flying nearby.
“You guys get one chocolate chip each if you guys behave and don’t get flour everywhere.” Shade added. “Now, Lady, hold still and don’t move, I gotta keep my hands steady for this…”
************
"Okay, chocolate chip time." Shade popped open the jar of chocolate as the kids cheered. "Actually, we’re not supposed to be eating this plain, cause it's going into the cookies. But no one actually does that so you guys get five chips each for not setting the kitchen on fire so far."
"The recipe says a cup of chocolate chips but we all know that's a lie." They added while shoving their phone back in their pocket and grabbing a handful of chips before mixing the batter together. "I'm probably not someone you should take life lessons from, but here's one thing I can guarantee you should take to heart: never follow the recipe when it comes to chocolate chips, you count that with your soul."
Final step: oven time. The oven was preheated earlier, and the only thing left was to get the cookies into the tray and into the oven. "Now, who wants to make heart-shaped cookies?"
****************
Three deformed stars, five mutated trees, two malformed cats, several irregular hearts, a couple handfuls of chocolate eaten straight from the jar, and one (1) perfectly round cookie later, the cookies were on the tray, in the oven, and in a surprising turn of events, no one burned themselves… yet. Shade grabbed everyone and made sure no one was in a five-meter radius within the oven before picking up all the dirty bowls and utensils. “Cookies will have to sit in there for about 15 minutes, we’ll be cleaning up in the meantime.”
“Don’t look at me like that, and no whining, if you want cookies you gotta deal with the mess afterwards. That's the payoff, unless you're a wizard who has a passion for baking. Then that's fair, I guess." They dumped all the used utensils they could find and turned on the sink. The sief, three bowls, tablespoons and teaspoons.. Oh wait.
"Radi, the big wooden spoon, please?" Shade called, sponge in their hand and bowls being thoroughly rinsed.
Radi, of course, was not willing to help, because she's basically a feral house cat that just so happened to grow more legs than the average feline. Shade sighed and moved on to finding the next helper they could find.
"Grimm, I know you're touching the oven, stop it. I'm pretty sure you're immune to fire but not everyone else and you're setting a bad example for them. Get me the spoon please."
“Lady, here’s a cloth, help me dry the bowls up. Wyrm, … i have no idea how you can help, no limbs and all but uh, could you go get Unn? I have no idea where she went. Thanks.” The last sentence was to Grimm, who flew over with the mixing spoon and dropped it into the sink while Wyrm scurried away to find Unn, wherever she’s napping at.
"Radi? Radi, I know you're right behind me, stop pretending that you can't hear me. Lady has an extra cloth with her, you're on table wiping duty."
*********
“See? That wasn't so bad,” Shade sent the last of the bowls back into the cupboards and closed it shut. “And the cookies are pretty much done.”
“Also, no. You may not eat the cookies the moment I pull them out of the oven. These rules also apply to Grimm because it's unfair to everyone else.. Don’t look at me like that Grimm, I know you’ll eat them all before they cool and leave us nothing.”
The cookies smelt delicious, and were left on the dining table to cool. “Now that it's cooling down, it's naptime.”
A chorus of groans and wailing.
“It’ll be ready when you guys get up. Up up up, sleep time.”
**********
If you’ve been anywhere near toddlers before, you’d know that getting them to nap in their bedrooms is a near-impossible situation. And Shade was not a person who deals with near-impossible situations well. So following the months old custom, Shade turned on the tv, remote miraculously not pickpocketed, collapsed onto the couch, and waited for everyone piling on them to fall asleep before moving them into their bedroom and pretending they managed to wrangle them all into bed.
And it all goes to plan, the Lady and Wyrm were sound asleep on their lap, Radi and Unn were dozing off on their shoulders, and they're pretty sure the snoring from the top of their head was coming from Grmm. Now, step 2: get everyone off them and onto the beds.
… Or maybe later. It's been a long day, and the couch is pretty comfy. Yeah, just five more minutes, nothing wrong with that…
And if the parents came home to see a cleaner-than-expected kitchen, a tray of chocolate chip cookies, and five kids snoring on top of their babysitter, also sound asleep, then that’s nobody’s business.
And if the originally completely full jar of chocolate chips was pretty much empty, then that’s no one’s business as well.
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By @astronomicartz​
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By @hollow-kin​
Shade lord wanted to take a nap. They are sooo tired, but they are babysitting 5 baby gods for 5$/H. Grimm is a brat, Radiance his sister is also a brat. Unn was ether eating or seeping, same with grub1. Lady was, well sweet and cuddly. they needed to find a distraction for the kids, what would work?
Would tv work, would cartoons work? They had dinner already. Tv had to work or grub and radiance would destroy the house. They needed to take a nap. Now what to watch was a different question, they would have to ask the kids. “so, what do guys want to watch? “Movie!” well they were all in agreement, what was good. “What kind of movie do you guys want to watch?” “Fire!” “dath” “animal” “tree” “ok. No, we are NOT watching fire.” “awww” “i do not know what dath means so no. So nature show it is then.” they go over to the tv and turn it on, then select the world around us. Lady was quick to fall asleep, on their lap. Shade lord slowly fell asleep, and grub nested between grub and shade lord. Grimm climed up to shade lord's head. 
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By @hawaiianbabidoll
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By @neoliberalsatan
A gentle darkness surrounded the shade lord. He finally felt at ease. "finally", he thought, "rest." it didn't take long after that before the darkness started to take shape and a whole new world created out of shadows sheathed him.
But the happiness of the shadows didn't last long. A new and a new sound drowned out their world and all the animals and plants took to hiding back in his head. The shade lord felt the distressed creations stir inside his mind and woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. He rubbed his lowest eyes and accepted the call
"Hello, with shade lord. How can i help you?" "Oh sorry dear, i know it's terribly late but we got an unexpected call and need to leave. Since you've babysat Unn multiple times we assumed she would like to stay with you. Is it okay for you? Can we bring her to your place?" The shade lord thought for a moment and decided he could use the money. "Yea it's fine, she's always such a pleasure to babysit." The voice on the other side sounded relieved. "Thank you. You're a life saver. We will make sure you're compensated accordingly."
Feeling a bit more awake after the phone call he started to prepare for having baby Unn over. After a while her parents arrived and after some greetings he was home alone with the baby. He walked with her in his arms towards the living room and placed her gently inside the crib. She opened her eyes for a moment after losing the feeling of someone holding her, but then closed them again and fell back asleep.
The shade lord decided he couldn't sleep anymore and made some popcorn and decided to put on a movie. It didn't even take 20 minutes before he got called again.
"Hello, with shade lord. How can i help you?" "Oh yes finally someone who answers. Sorry but you're our last hope. We were going somewhere tonight but our babysitter called off. Do you think you could babysit our lovely Radiance? She's very good behaved and won't cause you trouble." "yea, no problem. You'll just need to bring her to my place if it's no trouble"
Not even 5 minutes later the parents showed up and dropped of their larva. Shade lord looked at it a bit confused but didn't get the time to say anything because the parents left as soon as they handed her over. He closed his front door and gave the larva a good look. She was white and had a fluffy appearance. She had 5 pairs of legs and yellow-orange eyes. She started to writhe a little bit and shade lord made sure to hurry to the living room. He took a pillow and placed it on the couch and softly laid her on it. She seemed at ease and rested on the pillow all stretched out
Shade lord continued his movie, which was finally starting to get interesting, but as usual the commercial break hit. He was in the kitchen making more popcorn when he got another call.
"Hello, with shade lord. How can i help you?" "Hello, is this the babysitter?" "Yes, that's the one you're speaking with." "Great, a family member had an accident and i need to be there for them so do you think you could babysit for me?" "Yep, totally." "Thank you, can we bring him to you?" "Oh yea, no problem."
A few minutes later his doorbell rang and he hurried towards it. The father carried his toddler in what could only be described as wing-esque appendages. The shade lord extended his arms for the man to put his toddler in and felt a gentle brush of the leathery membrane. He shivered lightly before feeling a sudden warmth light up in his face, like someone has started a fire. When he looked back up the man was gone and he closed the door. The creature he was holding in his arms was unlike anything he had ever seen. 2 horns sprouted from its black head. The face was as bleak as white linen on a summer day. It seems she likes make-up because she had already 2 black lines running from her cheeks towards her eyes, eventually fading into the darkness of her head. She had the same membranes as her father and no limbs besides it.
He wasn’t even in the living room before he heard his front door being was under siege. He put the weird creature down and opened the front door. Immediately he was assaulted by Hollow, a very energetic child. He was wearing a green cloak today and it finally seemed he was starting to grow bigger than a hand. His horns has also branched into the inside. Immediately after Hollow jumped on his he could hear Pale complain about his unprofessional work attitude. Although he was bigger than most it seems he wouldn’t grow much anymore. His tiny stature didn’t discourage him from being bossy. Finally White entered. By far the biggest of the bunch, she was also the most introverted. Her roots slid elegantly over towards him and even managed to stop Pale from talking for a moment.
He took them inside the living room only to find that somehow the larva and the winged creature had somehow gotten into a fight and now both were in hiding in opposite sides of the room. Normally he wouldn’t make such a big deal out of this if somehow his couch wasn’t full of tiny needles and a chair was on fire. He rushed to the tap to fill a bowl of water to extinguish the little fire. With the attention being diverted Hollow managed to slip from the watch of Pale and could now be found in the corner Radiance was hiding. The larva figured out quickly he liked to play games and had soon enough set up a plan to make him betray Pale.
In the meantime White had climbed the couch and started pulling out the needles while Shade lord had figured out what the membrane between the appendages from the weird creature were for. Namely, for flight. And now she was attacking his horns and he couldn’t reach her. As if her flying was not good enough alone, whenever he raised his arms she would back off and launch a little fireball  All this commotion woke up baby Unn who slowly started to slither away from her crib to find food.
The shade lord finally had enough of the little fire hazard and rushed towards the pantry to get a kettle. Once he had found it he peeked around the corner only to find that fire hazard eating his popcorn! All caution was thrown aside and he grabbed her by the guts and put her inside the kettle. She tried to heat it but he added some water to it. While it evaporated quickly it was apparently enough to bring over the message. Now he could focus his attention back on the larva again, only she could’ve produced those needles, which White was making great progress with removing them as a quick glance told him.
Now back to Pale and Radiance who were apparently having a fight (Darkness, that larva really has a talent to provoke others). They were arguing near the coffee table, because apparently they wanted a fight so bad they just ran to each other and met in the middle. Hollow was climbing one of the legs of the table, but wasn’t noticed by the shade lord because he was too occupied with the other 2. He tried to separate the arguing pair but they were at each other’s throats. They even had summoned a needle and a tiny dagger to fight each other. The shade lord obviously didn’t count on this tiny factor and had soon enough one in each hand. He screamed, trying not to curse, barely not failing miserably, and Pale managed to escape. In any other situation this wouldn’t pose a problem, but Hollow, after eating some popcorn, found himself at the right edge of the coffee table and pulled out his tiny wooden sword he got from Pale. The larva, Darkness curse her, used this to her advantage and made the sign to Hollow to betray Pale. The act of betraying Pale involved jumping off of the coffee table and hitting Pale as hard on the head as possible. Naturally, all of this went according to plan and even brought some extra spectacle. After Hollow had hit Pale on the head he wasn’t prepared for the recoil of the wood and ended up hitting himself in the face.
All of this lead to 3 crying children (1 of them from laughing, the others from pain) and 1 very angry young adult. He put the larva on the couch and took care of the others while White held a close eye on the damned 10 legged thing. After Pale and Hollow weren’t crying anymore he took the little fire hazard out of the kettle and continued his movie, which was getting to an end.
After the film ended a documentary started and had all the kids hooked. He went to check on Unn only to find an empty crib. He could however see a slimy trail lead up his wall and onto the ceiling. It went through the door into the pantry where he kept his food and toys for the toddlers. He looked up on the ceiling only to find a sleepy Unn with a letter block in her mouth. Suddenly Unn started to make a very weird noise and fell from the ceiling onto his face. He swiped her off of his face onto his shoulder and then washed it.
He returned back to the tv to watch the documentary that was still playing and plopped down on the couch. Not long after he was asleep with White on his left shoulder, Unn on his right shoulder, the little fire hazard on the same arm and Pale curled up in his lap. Radiance and hollow were still awake but occupied with the documentary instead of causing trouble. After the documentary ended they crawled up against his sides and fell asleep.
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By @constantlost 
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By @bugbeee
Exhaustion seeped into Shadelord’s body, limbs weighed down by a heaviness they hadn’t experienced in a while. The smatter of godlings that lay around them on the couch, or on them in Radi’s case, was enough to convince them that they had died and that this was the Eternal Void that was created to punish them for cheating on that test in the 8th grade. In their defence, it had been on rock sedimentation.
Wyrm continued his grumbling from the corner of the couch, still infuriated by the attack on his person only moments before. Root, the aggressor, looked remarkably pleased with herself. Shade knew they should probably punish her further in some way but... well, to be perfectly honest, they simply were not paid enough to do so.
They really should have charged more. Fifteen dollars at least per tiny demon they had to look after rather than the whole bunch. Fifteen dollars was not enough to encourage discipline. It was enough for them to make sure none of the godlings killed the other. And they had thought they had come up with an ingenious plan to secure some peace and quiet.
After much wrangling, they had finally managed to set up two separate playpens, each far enough away that the godlings wouldn’t start screaming if one of them saw their rival. Wyrm and Root in one pen, Grimm, Radi and Unn in another. It was a gamble, but one that thankfully seemed to have paid off. Radi was still exhausted from the tussle she had just had with Wyrm, and Grimm seemed content to chew off the heads of the plastic Garbies they had found. Unn continued to watch, and occasionally helped Grimm execute a Garbie in a spectacular manner. It was both reassuring, and beyond disturbing. Root and Wyrm meanwhile were cheerfully ignoring each other as they both played with their own toys.
It should have been foolproof.
Unfortunately for Shade however, they were dealing with infants instead of fools.
For some damned reason, Root had decided that now was the perfect time to act up, instead of being the sweet little darling she had been so far. Her target, much to their dismay, had been Wyrm. In all fairness, the godling had probably deserved it in some way; most likely he had tried to worm too close in order to steal some of the grubpaste and mushroom sticks Shade had left out as a snack. Root had seen this theft as a cardinal sin, and had subsequently decided that Wyrm deserved nothing less than absolute annihilation.
The momentary doze Shade had managed to fall into was abruptly interrupted by loud shrieking and wailing, resulting in them vaulting over the couch to hurriedly find out which one of the godlings was being tortured.
The scene that greeted them was... well, it wasn’t any less ridiculous than some of the other stuff the little goblins had pulled before.
Using her flexible tendrils, Root had seen fit to wrap them around Wyrm, and aggressively dunk him into the bowl of grubpaste he had attempted to steal from. His shrieks and hisses had woken up Radi and drawn the attention of the other children, who were now cheering on Root’s attack on Wyrm’s person.
“Enough,” Shade declared, shooting a glare behind them, “Root, let him go.” Root looked up innocently.
No, she seemed to say with her eyes, justice must prevail.
“Justice won’t get me my fifteen dollars,” they hissed out in return, and they could have sworn that Root shrugged, turning away from them to dunk Wyrm into the bowl yet again.
“No!” they cried out, quickly whipping down to grab the poor child before he could be further humiliated. After finally being saved from his vicious tormentor, Wyrm decided it was time to go into hysterics, lashing out with a sharp tail to fully show his displeasure. Root simply watched impassively as the rest of the children cheered.
Shade wondered if fifteen dollars was even worth it at this point.
“Alright, alright, enough! Root, you go in time out. We do not waterboard our fellow godlings in grubpaste. Wyrm, calm down, it’s just grubpaste- Settle down!” they yelped out, flinching as something heavy settled onto their head. The soft fluff revealed that Radi had decided to fly out of her pen and taunt Wyrm in person. Shade wanted to sob with frustration.
The door cracked open, and Ghost peered in, head tilted curiously.
Need help? they signed, and Shade wanted to collapse in relief.
“Please,” they begged, and their sibling nodded grimly, even as amusement danced in their eyes. Shucking off their school backpack, they quickly headed over to the other pen and signed to them, bobbing their head up and down in a soothing motion. Grimm and Unn were entranced. Radi less so. She remained seated on their head, but at least seemed to have finally stopped provoking Wyrm.
“I’m just going to clean him up,” Shade explained uselessly, watching as Ghost simply nodded and waved them off. 
With a tired gait, Shade wandered into the kitchen and turned on the tap, listening as Wyrm’s panicked yelps grew louder at the realisation of what was going to happen next. Radi snickered softly, before leaping off and gliding back into the living room.
Bath time, according to the godlings, was a fate worse than death, and something to be avoided at all cost.
Unfortunately for both Wyrm and Shade, it was a necessary evil. Wyrm disagreed. Loudly. And with claws.
He howled furiously as Shade slowly lowered him into the warm water, softly scrubbing at the now-dried grubpaste sticking to his skin. Despite his attempts, Wyrm failed to prevent them from continuing his bath. He turned to pathetic pleading instead, making soft mewling sounds as though he was nothing more than a poor innocent child who had done nothing wrong, ever.
Shade, who remembered the little bastard knocking a glass ornament onto their head, was not convinced. Ultimately there was no escape, and Wyrm reluctantly gave in to the soft scrubbing, though he made sure his rumbling complaints were known.
“Yes, yes,” Shade said quietly, “I truly am the worst. Close your eyes so I can rinse you.”
Wyrm, in a dumb act of defiance, did not close his eyes. The hysterics started again, and Shade contemplated drowning themself in the half-filled sink. Fifteen dollars, they repeated. Fifteen dollars.
Grabbing a tea towel, they quickly dried the godling off, carefully teasing out water droplets from soft scales. He child gnawed on their fingers in revenge. “I’m done,” they announced, wandering back into the living room with a now clean, and furious, Wyrm.
Ghost looked up from their position on the floor, back leaning against the couch as they played with Grimm. Radi immediately perked up at the sound of Shade’s voice, and quickly flew over, making herself at home on top of their head. Unn seemed to have decided to undertake the momentous task of scaling up the back of the couch, leaving a thick trail of slime behind. Root, still stuck in her pen as punishment, let out a wail, demanding to be let out.
Shade was all out of energy to fight back or deal with a tantrum.
“Alright, alright, out you go,” they muttered, depositing Wyrm on the couch before reaching down to lift out the petulant child from her terrible prison. She clung to them desperately until they finally collapsed on the sofa. She quickly wriggled out of their hold and instead plonked down beside them. Wyrm had hissed at the sight of her, and slunk to the other side of the couch to sulk.
Grimm let out a raspy cackle at the sight, before diving down to nip at Ghost’s fingers.
Unn finally made her way to the top of the couch and waved her eyestalks victoriously. All Shade could do was give her a tired pat.
They sank into the couch, the exhaustion creeping back in. It should have been foolproof.
Fifteen dollars.
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By @arandoskeleartist​
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162 notes ¡ View notes
no-droids ¡ 5 years ago
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Dove
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Part 2 of 2 of The Locked Door Series
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 19.7K i apologize for NOTHING
Warnings: DUBCON ELEMENTS, SMUUUUUUT, religion kink, virgin kink, authority kink, degradation kink, praise kink, age gap, ohhhhh the list goes on y’all been here long enough
A/N: I have nothing to say for myself this time im sorry
***
Obi-Wan feels like he’s going to be sick.
Dinner in the grand hall was difficult enough, forking down mouthfuls of expensive food he’s sure was absolutely marvelous, if he could’ve tasted it.  The s’Ziscari clearly splurged on the celebrations—expensive food, expensive decor, expensive everything, down to the silk napkin he studied and fiddled with under the table as he awkwardly waited for you to finish your plate.
He felt uncomfortable, absolutely.  He’s felt uncomfortable ever since he shuffled into this blasted, Maker forsaken robe not long after he left your quarters earlier.
Not black, no.  Not like yours.  Not like what appears to be an overwhelmingly vast majority of the people he’s encountered so far this dreadful evening.
No, his robes are blue.
A strong, eye-catching royal blue, covering his body in waves of fabric—softer than anything he’s ever worn before and leaving him feeling incredibly exposed.  The far more practical robes he traded for these atrocious garments are made of a thick, scratchy wool, a testament to the Jedi’s philosophical rejection of fine or expensive materials.  And, against all logic—to somehow make matters even worse, the sash tying this uncomfortable piece of attire closed has no place to clip his saber, unlike the leather belt he usually wears.  As a consequence, he’s left simply carrying it around by his side.
Granted, for some unknown reason, his robes are still far thicker and longer and more protective than the… stars, the ultra-thin black silk wrapped around your body, but Obi-Wan is so self-conscious about his appearance that he’s not even allowing himself to look at you.  Obviously that doesn’t stop him from refusing to leave your side the entire night, and he finds himself rather grateful that only a very few number of s’Ziscari are fluent in Basic, if only to provide him with a valid excuse to socially detach.
Of the very few people he’s noticed wearing robes resembling his, they’re all far younger than him—much closer to your age than Obi-Wan’s, and stars, everything about this celebration is unbelievably unnerving to him—including, if not most of all, your response to it.  One of the reasons he knows the food was grand, apart from the immaculate plating and lavish dinnerware of course, is because you momentarily excused yourself from the seat next to him to dish yourself out a second helping.
Even now, even in the skybox seats of this distressingly packed arena, Obi-Wan struggles to keep down what little food he could eat while you stand tall next to him and seem completely unbothered by the situation—and by the Maker, it bothers him.  He isn’t used to this.  He’s used to you being the emotionally turbulent one, the one whom he has to pacify, and it twists his stomach with the way the roles have suddenly found themselves reversed.
“I think the blue looks nice, by the way,” you lean sideways to mention casually to him, and he knows.  He knows you’re just jesting, just trying to lighten the mood, but he feels the bile rising up his throat at the fact that you even commented on it aloud.  “Fitting.  Matches your saber.  Your face, though.”  The smallest hint of a smile tugs at your cheeks.  “It’s beginning to match the color of mine.”
“Thank you for that, young one; your sense of humor is positively delightful,” Obi-Wan gripes, clutching the metal hilt tightly in front of him with both hands while he gazes out at the stadium before him, bustling with black hooded figures and a rare flash of blue.  It does not escape his notice that in complete contrast, your arms are loosely meeting behind your back, your saber dangling in one hand while the other lazily holds your wrist.  Your body is… open.  Draped in garments somehow equally as opaque as they are revealing, presented to the wide panoramic view of the audience and stage with no qualms whatsoever.
“Wonder who I got it from,” you ponder with a tilt of your head, and… fair point.  “How long is this thing supposed to last anyways?”
“Stars—‘this thing’ can’t get over with soon enough,” Obi-Wan grumbles, his eyes anxiously flicking down at the empty stage in the center of the audience.  He’s struggling with butterflies and nausea like he himself is meant to have a starring role in this debauchery.  “They’ll have… acts.  Plural.”
“Heavens,” you sigh under your breath, and oh yes.  He agrees.
He’s also painfully aware that he should be using this free time to continue contemplating his decision about… matters concerning later this evening with you, but he’s already feeling massively overwhelmed as it is.  Right now, it’s all he can do to just breathe and attempt to face one trial at a time.
But then, as if the Maker is feeling just particularly malicious this evening, Obi-Wan’s stomach drops when something quiet flashes in the Force and the roar of the enormous crowd instantly falls to dead silence.  The ominous sign rockets through him and while a Jedi should not know fear, this might be the closest he’s ever felt to truly terrified.
“Ooh, dramatic,” you whisper, but regardless of your laissez-faire attitude, his heart is positively pounding as he watches the figures of robed Force sensitives slowly file out onto the stage, and everything inside him lurches at the realization that—
They’re all wearing blue.  Every single one of them is clothed in fabric that matches his current attire, the one that made him feel like a blot on the landscape the entire dinner and subsequent mass pilgrimage to the arena.  A bright splash of color in the midst of an almost inescapably giant ring of black.
You’ve stopped talking.  Truly, he has no idea if that’s a good or bad thing, not right now.  The Force sensitives join hands and create a ring in the center of the stage while every single person in the arena sits in perfect silence, and Obi-Wan feels dizzy.  He’s not getting enough air right now, but he doesn’t even want to breathe too loudly and somehow draw even more attention to himself.
Two of the blue robes break off from their fellow acolytes and meet in the middle of the circle, and to simply avoid having a heart attack, Obi-Wan very purposefully chooses to ignore—like he’s done multiple times this evening—the subtle flicker of curiosity he experiences at the significance of the color blue and what it symbolizes to the s’Ziscari.  He can’t even bear to watch the way the two of them slowly lean in and allow their lips to touch from under their hoods.
Maker, if he turned his saber on and stabbed himself with it, could he convince you it was an accident?  Probably not—no, definitely not, what a stupid thought to have—
“How does she wipe?”  He hears your voice whisper, and Obi-Wan’s facial expression immediately screws up in confusion.
He turns to you, his tone equally hushed but the bewilderment sharpening his consonants.  “How does who what—?”
Only—you’re not even looking at the scene unfolding in front of you.  Your expression is just as confused as his is, but instead of looking down, your chin is lifted and you’re staring directly across the arena at the viewing booth opposite to yours.  He still has no idea what you’re talking about though, not until he follows your line of sight and sees the way s’Zerthia has her jaw propped up in her hands on her throne, looking bored as usual, and how the length of her newly manicured fingernails curves halfway up her scalp from this angle.
“That’s dangerous,” you remark quietly.  “They’re like talons.  Gaudy little weapons she always has attached to her that she decorates, makes them seem less vicious than they actually are.  I see them.  I certainly don’t envy whoever she picks tonight to—”
You cut yourself off with a bit lip smile and turn your face away from him, and Obi-Wan is almost mystified by how casual you’re able to be about this. 
“Whomever she picks to…?”  He trails off with a sigh.  “Do I… Do I want to know?”
“Never mind,” you tell him quickly, lifting your chin once more while still clearly trying not to laugh.  You’re trying not to laugh, while… while that is happening in the center of the audience.  “It was, uh… tasteless.”
He blinks, wondering what that could possibly mean.  Everything about this is tasteless, the entire thing is just an absolute nightmare coming to life.
Though, after a moment of silence, Obi-Wan soon realizes he much prefers it when you fill the void.
“Members of the Royal Court take turns doing it for her,” he eventually replies, decidedly looking anywhere but where the man is slipping the blue robe from the woman’s body.  It takes you a second to register to what exactly he’s referring, but when you finally do, you snort.  It’s too loud.  A few heads closest to your isolated seats turn as Obi-Wan very quickly thrusts his elbow into your ribs.  “Quit being disrespectful,” he hisses under his breath.
“You just—!”  You quickly clamp your mouth shut and face forward again, trying not to smile in an appalled sort of way.  But then—“Oh,” you blurt, not loud enough for anyone else to hear in this open setting but still loud enough for him to glance around and be slightly anxious about it.  “Oh.  Wow.  I wasn’t… expecting…”
Obi-Wan’s eyes automatically flick down to the couple, only just long enough to catch a quick glimpse of stark nudity in the center of the arena before his gaze immediately bounces back up again and focuses on the incredibly interesting steel beam currently propping up the Queen’s viewing box, clearing his throat.  “I… did warn you.”
“Well, yeah, I expected them to…”  Your hushed voice trails off and you stay quiet for too long, too long to imply you’re still formulating an end to your thought.  You’re distracted by something, but then you appear to snap back to your senses and immediately clear your throat.  “I just wasn’t expecting… the, uh.  The… positioning.”
He says nothing in response.  It… it doesn’t give him great comfort, wondering how you could possibly know enough about this type of profanity to have expected a different sort of positioning.  The stark contrast between the color of his ceremonial robes and yours still remains completely unspoken, but it quietly pulls at the back of his mind nonetheless.
“What about it?”  Obi-Wan immediately hears himself prompt and oh, no, this is completely inappropriate.  Not only should he not be encouraging this kind of talk with you, but he also shouldn’t feel so… so negative, not about something so personal to you and something that’s certainly none of his business.  Regardless, he… still has this buried, unexplainable desire to know the truth about it.  Regardless of the indirect way he’s attempting to go about it, he wants to know the truth about whether or not you broke your oath, and while he recognizes it’s completely improper of him, the urge is still strong enough to manifest itself using his vocal cords.
“Oh, I don’t know, it’s just…  It’s…”  He doesn’t even have a visual reference for what you’re attempting to find the words to describe.  He doesn’t want to.  He just wants to know what you think about it.  “…Bold,” you finally settle on.
Bold.  It’s bold.  Perhaps Obi-Wan wouldn’t be analyzing your verbal responses so closely if he had something more interesting to look at besides the general coliseum-like structure of the large outdoor stadium, but there’s a certain horizon he just won’t let his eyes dip below right now and unfortunately for him, being so high up above the crowd, the upper hemisphere of his visual field remains relatively dull.
“Who would've thought,” he eventually sighs, blinking up at the star-splattered sky now and attempting to see if he can use the Force to break off a piece of a satellite and have it impale him in a tragic accident.  “Considering the s’Ziscari are such a conservative bunch.”
His eyes soon wander back to s’Zerthia, and—Obi-Wan startles to find her staring directly at him with a thin eyebrow dangerously quirked.  She motions two long fingers in a V shape at her eyes and then points down towards the stage, her expression expectant and waiting.
Obi-Wan’s teeth hurt at how hard he clenches them together, his jaw flexing but the thick blanket of his beard doing well to conceal it.  She’s playing with him, he realizes; he can see the hidden smile on her lips all the way from here.
Maker, maybe she’s right.  Maybe he’s—maybe he’s being ridiculous about this.  This is fine.  This is fine.  His stomach feels like it’s all his food might come up at any second, but he’ll do it, he’ll look.  He can at least just look, right?
His gaze slowly begins lowering, trying to take in just a few things at a time so as not to overstimulate himself.  Thousands of s’Ziscari lining the seats of the arena, almost every single one of them dressed in black.  Lower still—the platform leading up to the stage.  A perimeter of blue figures now sitting down in a circle and then, at its center, a… a naked man and woman.
Obi-Wan’s heart pounds as he struggles to comprehend the sight, never having laid eyes on a nude woman before.  She’s on her elbows and knees, forehead lowered and resting against the floor, and the man kneels behind her, one hand holding her hips and the other wrapping around his—
Stars, Obi-Wan wants to end it all.  Right here.  His aim will be true.
But then… oh, no, he’s an idiot.  He’s a complete dullard, because he forgot.  Consumed by his own sheer anxiety and unease, Obi-Wan stupidly forgot an extremely crucial detail of the incredibly little he’s been told about the Sh’inzith.
—the projecting.
All at once, he’s nearly knocked over by the strength of the two Force sensitives at the center of the arena as they deliberately cast their minds out across the entire audience, presenting every sensation and fleeting thought they’re experiencing in all its intensity.  Obi-Wan immediately works to reinforce his mental shields as soon as he feels the shockwave about to hit, but there’s thousands of Force sensitives present—all of them congregated into one relatively small area, all of them tuning into the same two signatures and then suddenly… amplifying them back until it’s impossible for him to shut out.
“Oh, uh—” he just manages to hear you mutter through the whirlwind, just the slightest hint of panic in your voice peaking through the symphony of whispered thoughts and pulsing sensations coming from the stage, “—that isn’t good—”
Obi-Wan abruptly stumbles backwards and gasps at the awful, wretched feeling of something brunt pressing up hard against somewhere elusive, somewhere he’s never felt before towards the lower part of his body, and his mind fights viciously against it as he feels you spin around and reach out for his rapidly retreating figure.
“Wait, no—it’s okay, M-Master, it’s okay, it’s—” your voice cuts off and your hands suddenly fist into the robes at his chest, your forehead dropping to his shoulder against the sharp sting just continuing to push and push and push, “—i-it’s okay, it’s oka—”
He trips over his feet in the chaos and falls back on complete instinct and you’re so tightly attached to him that you’re yanked forwards with the momentum, the two of you plunging to the ground in a clumsy heap of grunts and tangled limbs.  Obi-Wan immediately starts crawling backwards across the floor underneath you, still trying to escape the horrible, inescapable sensation digging into a part of his body that doesn’t seem to exist, but it’s like you’re of the same mind—you’re scrambling forwards in the same direction trying to get away from the same thing, frantically attempting to calm him and simultaneously deal with the agony yourself, and then suddenly—
Oh—oh, Maker—
Suddenly something gives and surges in, and then Obi-Wan gasps—his elbows buckling under him and as the both of you drop down onto the floor because stars, it’s nearly blinding with impression.  Not only the aching, hard fullness stretching sharp and deep somewhere in his lower abdomen—but now a new sensation.  A tight, wet silk he feels swallowing him between his legs, concentrated on a part of his body that… does exist, a body part that’s currently pressed up right between your spread thighs.
“Fuck,” you moan hot against his throat, trying to find somewhere to brace yourself next to his shoulders and push yourself up off him, and he tries—Maker, he tries so hard not to, but his hands shoot out to grab your hips before he even knows what he’s doing and then he’s dragging his lower body up into yours on instinct alone, clamping his eyes shut and groaning out a desperate sound he’s never heard himself make before as his head drops against the floor.
It’s staggering.  It hurts.  He can't even hear your muffled noises anymore, not over the roaring encompassing his mind and body.  All he knows is that your hips quickly jerk back and grind down into his in response, sending Obi-Wan reeling while you bury your twisted cry of pleasure and pain into his neck.
The sound of it breaks through everything else.
Obi-Wan’s hands shake violently as they suddenly release you and then frantically shove at your shoulders, trying to push you off without hurting you.  He can’t think, he can’t see, he needs to leave—
“Get away,” he rasps desperately up at the sky, blinking his eyes wide but somehow not seeing anything in front of him but blackness.  “St-stars, get away from me—”
Suddenly you’re flipping off his body and onto your back next to him, too quick for it to be a mechanical movement alone, and he doesn’t even have the space in his mind nor the processing capacity to figure out if he Force pushed you off him or if it was you who did it to yourself.  He just clambers to his feet and stumbles away in a terrified, graceless retreat, bent in half, limping and gasping and fighting for every step he takes.
***
Your Master was right to leave as soon as possible, you think.  You were wrong to linger here for just a second to try and gain your bearings, because the more you work to grasp and attempt to organize them, the more mindless and disorienting they become.
You eventually have to heave over and drag yourself after him.
The further away you get from the arena, the easier it becomes to block the projection, but Maker, it’s exhausting.  You’re resigned to start out with a crawl—one of those Jedi Core crawls you haven’t had to do since the Academy but this one exponentially slower, forehead dropped down and eyes closed, just focusing on alternating shifting your elbows and your knees forwards and dedicating the rest of your mental energy to just isolating your mind from the debilitating assault.
Consulars don’t usually see much of war—you tend to do absolutely everything in your power to avoid it.  It’s the Guardians who experience the horrors of combat most often, who deal with ambushes and onslaughts from enemies of the Republic.  But Maker above, every merciless thrust into that poor little virgin at the center of the arena is like a blaster shooting directly at you, but then couple it with the thousands of reflections and ricochets in robes lining the bleachers?  You’re in the trenches of a deadly battle you had no idea was even about to break out and you have no weapon of defense besides retreat.
When you finally get far enough away to be able to push yourself upright as much as possible and continue staggering back to the palace on two feet, you have no concept for how long it’s been.  You can still feel the projection vibrating and clawing sharply at the edges of your consciousness, but at least the majority of your thoughts are your own now, and it gradually becomes easier and easier to focus and speed up to a clumsy run.
Though, no matter how successful you eventually are at muffling the vibrant sensations and thoughts of the two Force sensitives behind you—when they cum, you stumble down to your knees again and have to bite the back of your fist to keep from screaming.
Maker, it takes you a minute to recover.  You don’t even cum, you just feel it—the burst of energy from the Force in every direction, the violent explosion from the stadium that feels like it should fracture the ground beneath you.
You’re able to get up after a moment, if only because they decide to take mercy and finally cut off the projection.  You know that it’s a temporary relief, that they’ll likely be at this all night, but you hope the palace will be far enough away from the arena to block out the sensations completely.  You wonder if Master Kenobi felt that through the Force or whether he was too determined to block it out that he was able to simply ignore the nuclear missile that just detonated less than a few miles away from him.
You force yourself forwards and you want to hurry, you do—but strangely, in your wild state of exhaustion, stark reality is almost as debilitating as swimming through that endless madness was.  It’s quiet around you but the noise of still air pulses deafeningly in your eardrums after breaking free from such a thick mental filter separating you from your surroundings.  You still have your lightsaber clutched in your hand, Maker rejoice, and your thin robes are skewed awkwardly across your body, but you eventually find your way to the doors of the palace.
Though, trying to navigate the empty halls back to your Master’s chambers takes you longer than it should.  His signature is cloaked spectacularly, concealed to a mere speck you wouldn’t even know was there if you weren’t so closely acquainted with it for more than a decade.  You follow the flickering pixel of blue light through the obstacle ridden darkness, adjusting the front of your robes with one trembling hand while you wipe your brow with the other, closing your eyes and doing your best to take deep breaths.  He’ll be spiraling right now.  He’ll need a boulder to cling to in this tsunami, solid ground to stand on while the stars are falling out of the sky.
You… find him in your quarters instead.
The door is open and his handsome profile is to you, the thick fabric stretching over his broad shoulders now an agreeable light cream, familiar and telling of his intentions.  His hands are moving.  Setting something down on your bed—your robes, you soon realize.  He’s laying out your Jedi robes neatly for you across the fur blanketing the large mattress.
Master Kenobi begins speaking as soon as you step foot into the room, the tone of his voice very clearly impatient after having waited for you for so long.
“Change out of those ridiculous garments,” he tells you hastily, neatly laying out your leather belt across your dark tunic without even turning his head to look at you properly.  “We must leave.  Quickly.  Also—tell me you didn’t forget your saber at the arena, because if so, I’m afraid it’s lost to us forever now.  Ilum is only three days from here, perhaps we can stop there on the way back to Coruscant to find you another kyber cryst—”
You drop the hilt of your lightsaber on the floor and step forward, cautiously reaching out for his figure as he continues to ramble.  “Master, I—”
Your hand is thrown to the side with a subtle flick of his wrist and you instantly jerk to an abrupt halt, holding your palms out in front of you and keeping completely still while he spins around, his jaw slack and staring at you wide-eyed.  He takes a few steps away from you in shock.
“I’m sorry—” he immediately gasps, reaching out towards you even though the rest of his body is still desperately evading yours.  “Stars, I’m so sorry—that was just… That was excruciating, young one.  Why would anyone ever willingly—?”
“It—it doesn’t always—” you cut yourself off just in time, clamping your jaw shut before you can finish your sentence.
“We must leave,” he says once more as he turns back to your mattress, not appearing to hear you at all and shaking his head, far too frantic to sound like he’s just reminding you alone.  “We can’t do that.  I can’t do that—”
“It doesn’t always have to be—”  Maker, what is wrong with you?  Your heart kicks up in your chest and somehow stutters to a halt at the same time.  It’s the lingering effects of the assault your mind just experienced coupled with your desperate urge to console him that’s making you so utterly careless, you realize, it’s making your tongue loose.
“Stars, what do you mean?”  Master Kenobi finally snaps, and your blood runs ice cold.  “How do you know that?”
It takes the sum of all your years of training to keep the raging hurricane of emotion from showing in any capacity.  You feel like he’s holding his saber to your neck with how dangerously little you’re even allowing yourself to breathe right now, how utterly and completely still you’re holding yourself in front of him.
Lie, a little voice in your mind supplies quietly, the little voice you keep locked inside an impenetrable box of everything you are but have never been allowed to confront, haven’t been allowed to openly think just in case someone is listening too closely.  Lie.  Lie, right now.  Your silence is giving you away.
Only—you can’t.  You shouldn’t.  It’s not fair to keep this from him, not when you’re asking him to do something so structurally compromising to his belief system.  If… if you tell him the truth, perhaps he won’t judge you too harshly.  Perhaps he’ll feel… reassured, knowing he’s certainly not the first Jedi to break a sacred vow when he felt times were desperate enough.
Besides.  This might be the only secret that could potentially get you kicked out of the Order, but… it still isn’t your worst one.
“Because.”  The word is out of your mouth before you can rethink it, barely above a whisper.  “I… know.”
He doesn’t respond, and no.
No, you were wrong.  You were wrong to tell him the truth, and the look on his face immediately shoots panic through your whole body.
He doesn’t look reassured.
He looks… alienated.
“‘It doesn’t always?’”  Your Master eventually repeats back to you, and fuck—the implication is instantly clear.  The implication is made so clear from the sharpness in his tone, the hard edge to it as he rounds out the vowels in the last word that makes your heart twist and throb in your ribcage.  He might as well have just asked you how many times you must’ve violated your code of honor to know the difference.
“It’s not.”  You clear your throat and flick your gaze up to the ceiling, feeling like he’s using the Force to squeeze your chest in on itself.  “That was the absolute worst possible sensation that can be felt during… It’s—it’s not like that.  It won’t… be like that.  Not.”  Are there tears coming to your eyes?  “Not… with me.”
Utter quiet.  So quiet that if you really concentrate, you can hear the distant sounds of the arena continuing on with the Ritual without you.  You bite hard at your lip and wait for him to say something, anything.  Yell at you, tell you how disgusted he is, banish you from the Order.
Instead, Master Kenobi quite suddenly… deflates.  He sighs—not a heavy, exhausted one, but a soft one.  A quiet, accepting sort of sound.
He slowly lowers himself to the edge of the mattress and closes his eyes, running both hands through his hair, and it’s just enough to give you pause.  You glance over at him, trying not to let tears fall beyond the plateau of your lower lids with the frantic downward movement of your eyes, and you’re only just barely successful at it.
“It’s alright,” he says gently.  “It’s… it’s alright, young one.  I… suppose I am in no place to judge.  Quite… quite literally,” he murmurs, gesturing to the space around him with a lazy wave of his hand.  Maker, his figure is too watery and unfocused to make out his facial expressions, but you don’t want to blink to clear your vision just in case a sudden downpour escapes.  “It’s none of my business and I shouldn’t have asked.  You’re… not my Padawan anymore.  I should have no reason to… even care at all, really.”
There’s something that feels… major in that, something monumental yet incredibly well hidden, but you’re still too full of blind panic to interpret it further.  Your breathing is shaky and you wonder, quite stupidly and not for the first time in your life, if it’s somehow possible to use the Force to evaporate the water in your eyes before it turns into tears.
“I am certain it took place in your younger years, a long time ago,” he continues calmly when you don’t immediately say anything.  “You did always have a… a rather unconventional relationship with the rules.” 
Your only response is a quick jerk of a nod.  Yes.
“Yes,” you immediately agree, hoping your tone sounds convincing enough through the lingering tremors.  “It was… a long time ago.  I’ve changed, since then.  Grown up in many ways.”
It’s his turn to nod, and you manage to calm down just slightly.  You’re still breathing too hard and you’re a bit too braced, too much of a stance to truly feel like relief, but your heart rate is beginning to settle back into a somewhat acceptable rhythm.
Master Kenobi looks over at you, and he says absolutely nothing about the traces of water still glistening along your eyelashes.  He just smiles softly and pats the space next to him.
You cautiously make your way over to him after a moment, feeling more unsure now than you’ve felt this entire mission.  You leave at least a half a foot of space separating the two of you once you carefully sit yourself down on the mattress, and you can’t even look in his general direction.  You just focus on the long, draping sleeves of your black robe as you look down at your hands and wait for him to speak first.
“Sometimes,” he eventually sighs.  “Sometimes I… feel like you’re the person I know best in the entire galaxy, you know.  I’ve… I’ve known you far longer than I ever knew my own Master, young one.  I picked you out of thousands, and I’d do it thousands of times again.  Sometimes—especially since the day of your accolade and subsequent absence, I feel like I can know exactly what you’re thinking, even from across an entire star system.  And yet somehow, you… always surprise me.  Even after all these years, I am just.  Consistently surprised by you.”
You don’t know how to take that.  You just sit there in a guilty silence, still unable to turn your head or offer any sort of response.
“I chose you as a Padawan because you surprised me, you know,” he reminds you quietly.  “I had certain expectations for you, and you did not meet those expectations.  Instead, you presented an alternative I’d never before considered, an alternative that forced me to reevaluate you—and by extension, myself—far beyond what I had previously.  That is not a bad thing.  It has never been a bad thing.  As is made blatantly obvious by the fact that I’m the one currently standing in the way of saving lives, and you’re…not.”
Maker, this is thin ice.  You don’t know what to say that’ll express hesitant agreement with his sentiment without making it sound like you’re not apologetic for breaking your oath.  You’re… well, you’re not, not really.  His response itself is causing you to feel far more turmoil than any legitimate regret for your actions.
“It was—” On instinct, you almost say it was a mistake regardless of the conflicts you’re just so happening to encounter on this mission, but something stops you.  You suddenly remember your place here, your goal.  To save the galaxy from the Separatists’ reign.  And, by extension… sleep with your Master.  You can’t call it a mistake if you’re going to ultimately try to convince him to do the same thing.  So instead, you scramble to finish your sentence with a different thought, knowing his full attention is pinned to you right now.  “…A long time ago,” is all your exhausted mind is able to come up with.
“Yes,” he gives you a small, companionable smile.  “It’s alright.  Your prior lapse—or, well… lapses in judgement… will forever be safe with me.”
And still, you don’t feel relief.  Not when Master Kenobi very quickly appears to look uncertain.
“I… apologize,” he offers after a moment, “if.  If I ever made you feel like… like you could not confide in me about any struggles or… or urges you may have been experienc—”
“Maker,” you suddenly interrupt with a frantic wave of your hands, everything cringing inside you, “Maker, we don’t have to do this.  None of it, it’s okay.  Know what?  Let’s just go home—screw the galaxy, I don’t care, just stop talking.”
He snaps his eyes over to you, a sudden bark of laughter escaping him before the rest of his face even seems to register something was funny.
It evolves.  Eventually he’s covering his face and stifling ridiculous little snorts behind his hands, trying to apologize in between the chuckles but laughing even harder.  It’s almost like… just a form of pure stress relief for him.  So far beyond traumatized that it’s revealing itself in a slightly hysterical way, even if what you said wasn’t hysterical at all.
“Now you have a mere glimpse into what my experience has been like today,” he finally tells you with a sparkling grin once he composes himself, lifting his chin as he looks at you and scratching his beard with a quiet flicking sound.  “Shall I keep going?  If this mission has taught me anything, it’s that no matter what, things can always get worse.”
“They don’t have to.”  You say it without thinking, the gentle reprieve caused by his laughter flowing through you in waves and making you throw caution to the wind.  The four words serve to shut him up quite quickly however, even though it was the opposite of your intent, and your smile drops.  Maker, just freely conversing with him about these things is navigating a minefield for his mental state.
“You… you say that, and yet even—” Master Kenobi eventually responds, cutting himself off with a cough.  “Even the things I’ve heard are meant to feel… pleasant, were just.”  He shakes his head and blinks his crystal blue eyes over at you.  “By all accounts.  Agony.”
“I know,” you nod.  “I know.  Projecting that specific situation was… sadistic of them.  A distortion of the truth.  Probably rooted in deep tradition, but also a great scare tactic if I ever saw one, playing with us by presenting the absolute worst of it before anything else.  It won’t hurt.  At all.  I promise.  In fact—I-I can make it feel—”
Maker, you don’t even finish your sentence, but you must think the general idea loud enough for him to understand.  You don’t actually have a specific word in mind—good, great, amazing, euphoric?—and yet, something quiet settles over you two at the silent implication, the mere whisper of the possibility of you pleasuring him.
And him… allowing it.
“Master, I—”
“Don’t,” he quickly tells you.  “Don’t call—You don’t have to… call me that.  Just for right now, it’s.  I don’t—” he takes a breath that sounds shakier than it looks, and then he paints an easy, fake smile on his face following the exhale.  You recognize that smile anywhere, though.  While you’ve never seen him wear it before, it’s the smile that politicians make when they’re about to present a lesser truth to you, a smile shown to you in negotiations all the time that signifies something… hidden.  He’s hiding something, something important, and you have no idea what it could possibly be.  “I don’t feel like I even deserve to be called that right now, young one.  Perhaps you should be the Master, and I the learner.”
“Ah yes, the circle is now complete,” you can’t help but jest in return, wanting to keep the tone light even though the subject matter is heavy.  “Is now when we trade lightsabers?”
“Indeed,” he smiles, this time more sincere, and… you can’t pinpoint when exactly it happened, but it appears you’re physically closer to each other now than you were when you first sat down.
“Do they, uh… actually expect us to…”  You clear your throat and wave a hand around, “…Project the entire time like that?”
Master Kenobi quickly shakes his head.  “No.  s’Zer—Queen s’Zerthia informed me that.  Ah.  For us, projection will only be necessary during the… well, she called it the ‘closing ceremonies.’”
Your eyebrows shoot up and you nod.  “I… see.”
It’s like you can physically feel his body start to break out into a cold sweat next to you at the sudden… realness of it all, the realization that it has to be getting late.  Close to midnight, if you’re not already pushing it.  It’s come time to make a final decision, you both know it.  You want to console him, offer him some kind of solace or reprieve, but stars, you just don’t know how, not when you’re this much of a mess about this, too, but for entirely different reasons.  You don’t have a single clue how to make him feel better about any of this.
“I just,” you rush before you lose the nerve, “I want you to know that—e-even if you feel like you’re somehow alone in this, you’re not.  Okay?  I’m… I’m really nervous, too.  I don’t… I don’t actually know what to do at all right now.  I don’t know whether to respect your apprehension or tell you it’s unfounded.  I don’t know if I should remind you what’s at stake here or whether I should avoid mentioning it at all costs.  I have no idea what position I should take, but I’ll—I’ll take whichever one you want me to.”
And it’s odd, because when you first launched into your confession, Master Kenobi gradually began to look more and more relieved, but at a certain point, something just goes horribly wrong.  You don’t know what you said, but whatever it was, it seems to rocket through your Master and suddenly his breathing stutters.
For a moment, you think he’s going to reach back, yank your neatly folded Jedi robes up from the mattress and push the dark fabric into your hands.  Tell you he’ll meet you at the docking bay posthaste, tell you not to linger, tell you that the mission was a failure.  But then—
“Before,” he suddenly says, the word almost startling you with how abrupt it comes out sounding.  Almost like he wasn’t quite expecting himself to say it either.  “Earlier today, you asked… you asked if there was anything you could do to… make this easier.”
“Yes,” you prompt immediately.  He won’t look at you, and for some reason your heart begins beating faster and the inside of your thighs are getting warm.
“I… I’m not sure I’ll be able to go through with this,” he admits with a whisper, his voice sounding so quietly reluctant, like he doesn’t want to say the words aloud but is forcing himself to.  “But… the Council put you in charge of negotiations.”
Your eyebrows furrow, trying to understand his implication.  What does that have to do with anything?  Is he saying that you’re supposed to be in charge, and therefore he’s defaulting to you?  “I’m not sure I—”
“The Galactic Republic…”  Master Kenobi enunciates very, very pointedly, still unable to look at you, “…put you in charge of negotiations.”
Specifying—or in this case, generalizing—doesn’t help much.  “I’m still not—”
“Maker, for—for the good of the Republic, young one,” he presses under his breath and finally flicks his gaze up to meet yours, sounding urgent and torn in equal parts.  “Negotiate.”
Stars, negotiate with who?  With—with him?  For the good of the…?  Is he asking you to somehow reason with him beyond what you’ve attempted to do already, or persuade him to do what’s right for—?
Maker—Master Kenobi is asking you to seduce him.
Shock paints your expression blank and his eyes instantly evade yours once more.  You have to sit there for just a second and double-check that you’re not dreaming.  None of this seems real.  All of it seems like an incredibly elaborate illusion of the Force, ever since you first laid eyes on him at the start of this mission.  You know you missed him but stars, did you truly miss him this terribly?  Your longing must rival something fierce to unconsciously conjure this wild of a scenario.  Is he actually here right now?  Have you been speaking to a ghost?  Are you actually here right now?  Are you going to wake up any second and remember he’s thousands of lightyears away and has been for years, risking his life on the front lines of galactic war while you’re left to play politics and negotiate treaties behind the scenes?
These thoughts aren’t safe to have in normal interactions with him, but nothing about this situation is normal, and while you know Master Kenobi has years of experience reading your signature, he most likely won’t be able to gauge the specific details of your thoughts when you can sense how intensely he’s focused on guarding his own chaotic mind from you.
So you let yourself think.  If only for a second, you sit next to him and allow yourself to just… think about him.  About how much you care for him, how desperately you ache for him—you let all these improper longings finally have their moment with you.  You let yourself confront it, crack the lid of the hidden box tucked away behind your consciousness and brave it, because if there was ever a moment to do so, it’s right now.
Your heart starts slamming up against your ribcage and your hands feel like they’re tingling.  He wants you to convince him to have sex with you.  He’s asking you to corrupt him.  He wants you to negotiate the galaxy’s survival with the last man standing in the way of its prosperity—a good man with strong, immovable morals, a man who understands the consequences that follow integrity around and won’t be easy to tempt.
“This was a bad idea,” suddenly comes Master Kenobi’s voice, quickly backpedaling after too long of a silence.  “I shouldn’t have said that.  Forget I said that, we should just g—”
“Would you like to meditate?”  You immediately ask him on a complete whim, shuffling back towards the middle of the mattress for the second time today.  You’re careful to make sure he doesn’t see you carelessly flick your neat robes to the floor with the Force, clearing the top of the large mattress.  “Let’s meditate.”
“Stars,” he breathes, shyly his head turning to follow you, “I’d love nothing more, but there truly just isn’t any time—”
You find it easier than you thought it’d be to pull a playful face at him, crossing your legs and straightening your spine.  “Please, you’re a Guardian.  You blue sabers practically invented battle meditation, did you not?”
He looks skeptical for a moment, as he has a valid right to be.  “Is this a battle?”  He eventually asks over his shoulder.
You say nothing in response to that, instead using the Force with a flex of your finger to tug at the loose cream fabric of his robe at his elbow.  “Come on, it’ll do us good.”
He looks conflicted for a second, but then ultimately decides to humor you.  “Alright,” Master Kenobi finally agrees, turning around and crawling towards you on the mattress, and you’re just quick enough to stamp down a flicker of arousal at the mere sight of it.  “It won’t hurt.”
“Of course it won’t,” you agree with just a bit too much air in your voice, but he doesn’t seem to notice it.  He just seats himself directly in front of you, facing you, crossing his legs close enough to yours that your knees barely touch, and—
—Maker, he’s lovely.
You purposefully let yourself think it as his eyes slowly fall closed and he takes a deep breath, beginning to tame the wild tempest of his mind.  You let the word flitter around your thoughts without instantly repressing it like you always do, and just the mere act of allowing yourself to acknowledge the truth is freeing.  He’s lovely.  He’s lovely.  You could scream it.
Your eyes trail down the lines of his ever softening, tranquil expression, not even bothering to pretend to meditate for his benefit this time.  Your gaze roams shamelessly across his face, the way his hair is combed back away from it.  The sandy, masculine beard leading down to the thick column of his throat, the broad lines of his shoulders draped in pale fabric, the way his chest slowly moves as he breathes.  Lovely.  Lovely.
And then you go… lower.
His abdomen is stretched long with how upright he’s sitting, his flawless meditation posture.  His thighs are spread wide in this position, pants stretched tight into an elusive drum over his crotch and preventing you from truly seeing anything—but stars is it a thrill even just letting yourself look. 
Especially knowing that the more his mind works to compose itself, the easier it’ll be for him to hear you.
You keep thinking, growing bolder the more you’re left alone with this box wide open.  You think about how lithe and strong his body is, how it would feel under your hands.  You think about all the different things you want to show him, all the… the mind shattering pleasure you can give him if he’ll allow y—
Master Kenobi says your name without opening his eyes.
It doesn’t sound the way you expect, though you don’t really know what you expected it to sound like.  A sharp, frustrated bark?  An exasperated, pleading attempt to get you to stop?
No—none of those.  It’s a quiet, low growl of a sound, and the clear warning in it absolutely burns a hole through you like he picked up his lightsaber and used it instead.
You take practiced breaths, trying to calm yourself down.  Stars, he just said your name, he’s said it so many times before, and yet hearing it in his mouth with that tone in this context feels like he just strapped rockets to your ankles and told you to stay put.  You’re impatient.  You’re turning yourself on, working yourself up, trying to get to where you can actually make a move on him after dedicating so many years to desperately repressing the longing to do so.  Once he told you to negotiate this deal with him, however, it’s as if every ounce of the impeccable self control you’ve practiced so spectacularly throughout most of your life slowly started to unravel.
Reaching out tentatively so as not to startle him, you wrap both of your palms around the bend of his knees and squeeze gently.  Master Kenobi displays no physical signs of—well, anything really, keeping his body completely rigid under your hands with no noticeable alterations in his breathing pattern.  Biting your lip, you begin to slowly rotate your thumbs, making sure to keep your movements slow and perfectly symmetrical.  Complete relaxation is your ultimate goal here—coaxing your Master into a serene state where physical contact is desired, not obligatory.  He's so uncomfortable with the concept of intimacy in and of itself though, from the way his eyebrows start to furrow and his spine begins gradually tilting back and away from you, it's almost as if your ministrations are dampening rather than fueling.
“Relax,” you murmur, and stars, even though you make it sound quiet and gentle, it’s like the melodic lull of your voice appears to startle him more than if you’d just spoken normally.  Maker—it’s counterintuitive; how are you supposed to turn someone on when the mere state of being turned on turns them off?  “Relax with me, it’s okay—”
“But I just can't, young one,” he suddenly implores, his voice pressed up tight in his throat, his cerulean eyes popping open in frustration and something else—an honest, heartfelt emotion that's strikingly less familiar to you, even after years spent by his side: deep, hot, stomach-wrenching guilt.  You watch your Master’s palms run the length of his thighs; back and forth, back and forth—almost like a nervous tick, you think—and it’s oddly endearing, if not increasingly concerning.  “I just can't, this is all so wrong.  Don't you understand?  E-Even if the Council did provide a—well, a rather admittedly ineluctable blessing for this downright ludicrous endeavor, i-it’s… I don't…”  He takes a deep breath, and visually, it looks like he's attempting to collect his thoughts and composure, but you know your Master all too well.  You know what he's really doing, and at this point, it's almost… frustrating.
“What are you so afraid of?”  You clutch his knees and whisper quietly, interrupting him before he can verbalize whatever perfectly logical reason he's trying to formulate as to why you both should leave the planet immediately, what he's going to say to the Council if they ever inquire as to why negotiations ultimately failed.  He jerks his head up sharply to look at you.
“The Jedi fear nothing,” is his automatic response, though his previously intense gaze strays slightly from yours after a second of too much eye contact.  “Fear is the path to the Dark Side, you know this.”
“And yet you are afraid,” you remark calmly, studying the way he’s turned his face away from you completely now, how you can still see his jaw clench under the thick beard with his profile shown to you like this.  “I—I’m trying to understand, Master, but I—I don’t.  Even if this mission were half as important as it is, your loyalty to the Order would follow you right into an early grave.  But this?”  You remove a palm from his knee to gesture between the two of you, the mattress beneath the both of you, “fulfilling this mission and these terms to save the entire galaxy is too ‘downright ludicrous’ for the Great Negotiator?  I don’t believe it.  Tell me what you’re really afraid of.”
Only, he’s suddenly moving—away from you.  Turning and planting his palms to fur, beginning to climb to the edge of the bed and sweep his legs around under him, and your voice has an unintentional edge to it when you address his back.
“Do you know how many lives over I owe you?”  You ask, and he jerks to an abrupt halt, feet just shy of stepping on the floor.  “Do you have any idea the stockpile of mortal gratitude you’ve amassed from me?  How many times you’ve risked your death to save me from mine over the years—can you count them?  I have.  I know my debt to you, I know the weight of my life piled on top of itself over and over again.  I remember each and every one of them like they happened yesterday, and not once did you hesitate even slightly, let alone the way you’ve hesitated today.”
”And?”  Master Kenobi quite suddenly snaps over his shoulder as he grips the edge of the mattress, sounding sharp but not necessarily directed towards you.  “What is your point?”
“My point is that if you’d so readily trade your death time and time again to prevent that of even one other person, let alone a difficult Padawan who caused the Order nothing but grief for years, then what is it that makes the deaths of trillions—” you nearly say preferable to bedding me before you realize how incredibly harsh that would sound, but something about the way he seems to tense his shoulders and curl inwards implies he was following the general cadence of your agitated signature more than the specific content of your words.
He says absolutely nothing, but he doesn’t move to drop his feet to the floor, either.  If only you could punch a proverbial hole through his practically indestructible mental barriers, you'd see the real reason he's so flustered, why he's purposely attempting to deceive you.  Unfortunately for you though, they feel like they're made of triple-reinforced beskar, a countermeasure gradually increasing in strength the more you try to probe.
But then—all at once, something clicks.  Something… fundamental.  An understanding. 
Your Master is a gifted negotiator, yes.  But more than that.
He wields a blue saber.  Not a green one.
He’s a Guardian.  A warrior.  He fights.  It’s something that has never truly been part of your nature, no matter how much you struggled with it over the years—but it is a part of his, no matter how exceptionally he’s been able to mask it for even longer.
So, all at once, you stop pushing.  Your signature abruptly pulls away from him, gives him room to breathe and simply hovers within your own personal space, unassuming and careful not to disturb him.  You see your Master lift his chin and straighten his spine slightly, immediately noticing your absence and the constant pressure you’d been applying, and you honestly can’t tell if he relaxes or tenses up even more because of it.
Finally, when you feel like it’s been long enough, you slowly reach out and gently place your hand on his arm.  This time, there’s no underlying motivation attached, no inherent desire for him to fulfill any sort of obligation.  Just a warm, companionable gesture to reinforce the simple knowledge that you’re both in this together, for better or worse.
Please tell me, Obi-Wan, you quietly whisper to him through the Force, allowing your tone and energy to transfer through your open palm and into his troubled spirit as softly and gently as you possibly can—a caress more than anything even close to a sentence or inquiry.  Your usage of his first name is entirely unprecedented however, and your Master sucks in a sharp breath in response.
I don't… But then the subconscious, half-formed thought fades away almost as quickly as it’s offered to you from behind the solid, unyielding fortress of his mind.  “W-what are you doing?”
You bite your lip, wondering how honest you should be with him right now.  Though, you suppose, if you truly want him to confide in you, you should at least meet him halfway.
“You’re the locked door,” you finally settle on.  “This is me knocking.”
Obi-Wan turns around and blinks at you, looking for all the stars in this galaxy like that was quite possibly the last thing he expected you to say.  You can see the frantic thoughts pass through his eyes almost as if the clear blue was completely transparent, likely remembering all the times you’ve leaned on him for guidance, listened intently and learned from his wisdom and experience.  And now you’re a fully grown woman patiently offering him your ear, wondering if you’ve earned enough of his trust for him to do the same.
“I’m afraid I’ll form an attachment to you.”  The words tumble from his mouth even though his body all but whips away from you in the process.  “It’s unreasonable for the Council to expect this from me.  From us.  I’m afraid our relationship will forever be tarnished from this, that neither of us will ever be able to go back to the way things were before.  I’m afraid that regardless of whatever decision I make, I won’t be able to carry the guilt on my conscience and continue to call myself a Jedi and Guardian of the Republic.  But mostly, I just—I-I—”
Your heart is pounding as Obi-Wan buries his face into his hands and his muffled voice groans raggedly, “—I’m afraid I’ll like it.  I’m afraid I’ll want it again, and again.  I’m afraid it’ll follow me back to Coruscant, that I’ll save the galaxy but spend the rest of my days aching for something I’ll never be able to keep, and that’s petrifying.  Desire, passion, selfishness, possession; all of them lead to Darkness, and I can—I can feel it right now.  Your soul is so gentle, so peaceful, and yet you… you inspire such Darkness in me, dove.”
Maker, you’re trying so hard.  So hard to keep your legs from clenching together at the utter desperation in his tone, how his breathing has picked up now that the words have ripped themselves out of his throat, like the whole thing was physical agony even just to say.  You have to take a second.  You’ve been so patient this entire time, but stars—this one makes you need a moment.  You’re so glad his eyes are clamped shut behind his fingers right now because yours lose focus trying to mask the absolutely debilitating wave of arousal that sinks down hot through your stomach.
Even when you regain the ability to speak, the ability to form a safe and proper response to the bombshell he just dropped on you completely evades you.
You purposefully don't say that you're already helplessly attached to him, that the colors of the galaxy somehow lost their brilliance the day you graduated to Knight, the day you left his side.  You don't say that you want this so badly you can feel it in your neck, that it would probably break you in half if he said no to this now.  Though it's the honest-to-Maker truth, you know discovering this information will only cause your Master to further distance himself from you, and somehow that thought alone is a million times worse than being denied the opportunity to be this close to him.  Even… even if what you end up sharing is more emotional than physical.
So you take a deep breath to center yourself, and choose your words very carefully.
“A compromise, then.”
Obi-Wan suddenly raises his head, turning around to look at you and blinking twice.  “A what?”
“You told me to negotiate.  What do we do as negotiators, hm?”  You raise an eyebrow, giving him a gentle smile and trying not to curl your fingers into the fur underneath you with how hard it is to conceal your burning arousal.  Do it for him.  Do it for your Master, you’re in l—you… care about him, and you care about the things he cares about, even if doing so feels like it’ll rip you apart.  “We compromise.  Yes?  So, let’s find one.”
He shakes his head.  “I don’t see h—”
“If you were to…”  You cut him off and look down, trying to find the most delicate way to phrase this.  “If you were to… find other means to bring yourself to completion, would you be able to convince anyone listening that I was the one doing it?”
Obi-Wan doesn’t even blink this time.  He just stares at you, holding himself like a statue in front of you.  Finally, he seems to find himself.  “I… I don’t—I don’t know if I can.”
“You’re stronger in the Force than anyone on this planet, Master,” you encourage softly, placing a hand back on his arm and squeezing this time.  “I’ve felt it.”
“N-No,” he practically hiccups.  “No, I mean I-I… I don’t know if… if I can.”
Your eyebrows narrow, a mixture of confusion and concern coloring your expression.  “If you can…?”
He looks back at you almost desperately, his eyes practically begging you to figure it out so he doesn’t have to say it.  Finally, Obi-Wan sighs, seeming to collapse in on himself with its intensity.  “I—I’ve never… purposefully reached completion before,” he admits.  “I’m—I’m not sure how to.”
Your eyes widen, wanting to kick yourself for making assumptions.  Of course.  Of course he’d follow his oath to its strictest interpretation, why would you ever think otherwise?  “Oh, y-yes, of course not,” you stutter, sounding incredibly stupid and perfectly mirroring the embarrassed flush also painting your Master’s cheeks, “I didn’t mean to imply—”
“It’s alright,” he holds up a hand.  “We simply… view such things differently.  So long as you do not pass judgment, then neither shall I.”
You nod and look down at your hands, wondering how else you can attempt to tackle this predicament.  “What if I…”  You blink slowly, almost wanting to keep your eyes closed in case he’s offended by the idea but figuring you should have them open to read his responses.  “What if I… don’t touch you?”
Now he just looks confused.  “I’m sorry?”
You blush and clear your throat, obviously phrasing this wrong.  “If you can modify the context of your projection, then I can… get you there.  Without touching you.”
“How could you accomplish such a thing without tou—” Obi-Wan immediately cuts himself off when you lift your hand and close your eyes.
His thigh.  The right one—you focus on it.  There.  Right above the bend of his knee folding over the edge of the mattress, you concentrate all the energy from your fingertips and reach out, connecting the two together.  And then you take a deep breath and begin to draw your attention slowly upwards.
Your Master’s breath catches in his throat as you use the Force to delicately trail further up his leg, not laying a single hand on him as his muscles start to visibly tighten and quiver.
“Young one, I—”  His breathing stutters when you keep your hand raised but let your head tilt and drop down towards your shoulder with your energy, slinking down the inside of his thigh like water and getting dangerously close to his— “Stars, hang on—”
You blink your eyes open at him and continue concentrating right there, letting your focus melt warm and thick along the muscle and squeeze it—
“Maker—”  Obi-Wan gasps and drops his head back, his legs nearly spasming apart.  “Maker, hang on, I…”
“Do you…” You breathe tightly, flicking your eyes down to the way he’s fisting the fur under his hands and subconsciously flexing his hips up just the slightest bit.  Even though the Force, his body feels good.  Strong, sturdy, and braced tight under your attention.  “Do you want me to keep doing this?  I can… go higher.”
“You can…?  The—the Force isn’t—” Obi-Wan groans, his eyes clamping shut, “—isn’t meant to be used in such… in such… If I’m to break my oath, young one, it needn’t be so… so blasphemous—”
Trying to conceal the hot sparks of arousal deep in your stomach, you simply allow your metaphysical hand to continue resting right at the juncture of his hip and thigh, waiting for a real answer.  You bite your lip and wait for him to tell you to either cut it out or to keep going.  He doesn’t even have to say it out loud if he doesn’t want to—he can just slide it under the impassable door still separating him from you, the door you’re eventually going to get him to unlock himself.
His back is to you, so you can only see a bit of his face from this angle, but you can hear him loud and clear when he opens his mouth and whispers to you, barely louder than a breath.  “Go higher.”
Adrenaline rockets through your veins and slowly, your fingers curl in thin air while your gentle energy wraps itself around his cock.
Both of Obi-Wan’s hands instantly fly up to his face and he releases a tight, longing whimper into his palms, and you feel almost as desperate as he sounds.  You can sense the ghost of his thickness in your hand, and the way he’s already throbbing for it is like pure spice to you.
You can’t stop your crossed legs from shuffling and rotating your body to face his hunched spine more directly, just taking a second and allowing him to adjust to the sensation of you just holding him between his legs like this.  Your fingers rest gently along his pulsing skin while he hides from you, and if only to get a little bit more of a reaction for your own sake, your thumb just barely angles to delicately brush up under his frenulum.  
Obi-Wan shudders and makes a choking noise behind his palms, and oh good Maker, you really want to see his face.  You know it’ll probably never happen unless you take your own initiative, but you also don’t want to overstep and snap him out of this blissful reverie.  Still, something compels you to be so gentle about it that he hopefully won’t even notice. 
You start to slowly work the length of him and squeeze his cock a bit more firmly, but a tendril of your energy slowly slithers upwards, so quiet and full of caution that it hardly even counts.  Very carefully, you start to flatten the lifeforce from your other palm over his stomach and trail it up, gradually urging him to stretch his slouched figure upright and then eventually start to tip backwards, never once letting your focus on his throbbing erection falter.
Your courageous efforts bestow prosperous rewards.  Obi-Wan’s hands drag down the length of his face and he makes it almost too easy to keep pressing him back—back back back until his muscles give up what little fight they were putting up against it and his shoulders are dropping down to the mattress, his head falling into your lap.
“There we go,” you whisper under your breath, just loud enough to softly encourage him if he’s listening but avoiding a break in his focus if he’s not.  “That’s not so bad.”
“It isn’t,” Obi-Wan gasps up at you, his eyes tightly closed but his jaw slack and his handsome features screwed up in rapture.  “Oh, no, it’s… it’s really… rea—good.”
You bite your lip and your cunt flexes hard between your legs without your permission, feeling so empty.  If you’re being honest, only touching him through the Force causes your hand to become increasingly bold, also feeling too empty.  Obi-Wan’s head rolls to the side and he pants hot air against the thin black fabric covering your thighs as you tighten your hold around him just slightly and start to move up and down his cock in earnest.
“Fuck,” he whispers, the dirty word and rasp in his voice contrasting brilliantly with the proper Coruscanti accent and the crisp enunciation behind it.  “Fuck, this feels so good, I—”
His fingers grab at the fur covering the mattress top and pull at it, his adam’s apple bobbing sharp along the arching column of his throat as he groans and twists his head around in your lap.  He confesses it like it’s so wrong, but it can’t be wrong when he fits so perfectly in your hand?  How can this be wrong when it’s the only pleasure you can possibly give him that’s anywhere near close enough to match the way you feel when he’s around?  Even then, it’s but a fraction.
Your gaze flickers briefly from his face to check your progress with his body, and—stars, there’s a startling wet spot staining the front of his pale trousers, his cock tenting up shameless and needy for you to ache and throb just as desperately for in return.  Fuck, he deserves this, he deserves more—
“I can—I can make it better—” you can’t help but gasp, your eyebrows slanting upwards with need.  “Oh fuck, I can make it so much better than this for you, Obi-Wan—”
“You…?”  He blinks his stormy eyes open and sounds like he’s about to explode.  “This can be—” he chokes out, “—better?”
You can’t stop yourself.  Your pussy is clamped up so tight between your legs and Maker, you want to reward him for being so good to you, give him true adoration instead of phantom touches.  You don’t think before you’re moving out from under him and slinking down onto the floor, slipping in between his spread thighs.  You use the Force with a bend of your finger to tug his pants down just enough, just enough to let the swollen tip of his cock peak through the waistband, and then your head is dropping into his lap as you let it slide into your hot mouth.
Obi-Wan lifts his head and snarls at you—and something across the room shatters as you widen your throat for him and slowly sink down his length, curling your finger to stretch his hemline further as you go.  His fingers aren’t gentle when they fist into your hair and neither is the way he immediately twists it sideways, feeling like he’s trying to pull you off and shove you down on him at the same time.
You’re stuck between going as slow as you physically can to drag this out and giving him the best oral you’ve ever given to make him dream about this for the rest of his life.  You want him to want this as badly as you have for so many years.  You want him to fall into this Darkness with you, to crave you and what you can give to him so much that he’ll never want to leave you again.
So you make it wet.  You make it soft and slow and wet, switching between sucking gently at the tip and swirling your tongue around it, and then inching his length down your throat and swallowing around the thick girth of it once you can’t fit anymore in your mouth.  Obi-Wan is just an absolute mess about it—he can’t sit still, he’s tugging uselessly on your hair, whimpering out his bliss into the quiet room while you close your eyes and ignore his squirming, just taking your sweet time enjoying him and the way he feels.
He tastes exquisite.  Maybe it’s just because all your broken, stupid brain can think right now is slightly varying forms of my Master’s cock is in my mouth and it’s fucking leaking while you slowly nurse from it with your tongue, but stars—he tastes exquisite.
He’s swollen.  Throbbing.  Aching for you.  Releasing precum from the tip like his body is producing way too much of it after decades of neglect and just needs to get it all out at once.  Shifting and writhing underneath you but managing to never move his hips or cock a single inch away from the soft attention you’re giving him.  You can feel his smooth skin pulse against your tongue as you continue your lazy pleasuring, finally giving him what you’ve both been denied for so long and steadily swallowing down the spoils of your endeavors.
“—Wait, wait, Maker—stop,” you faintly hear gasped from above you not long after you even begin, and it takes the sum of all your efforts to unlodge his throbbing cock from your throat and pull away from him.
“I’m sorry,” you exhale automatically, trying not to slur your words as a bit of drool slides down your chin.  “I’m s’sorry, Obi, I should’ve asked before I—”
“Something’s… n-not right,” Obi-Wan interrupts you and lifts himself up to his elbows, his abdominal muscles heaving and a wild, frenzied look in his startlingly bright eyes.  “My stomach was—I-I felt—”
Heat blooms through you along with a realization, and your eyelids begin to droop slightly at just how sexy it is—the fact that this man, this fully grown, red-blooded, warrior of a man is currently teetering on the precipice of his very first ever orgasm, and you’re the only one with the power to give it to him.
You shuffle backwards slightly, grabbing hold of his thighs and squeezing to get his attention.  “Hey.  It’s okay, relax.”
Obi-Wan nods his head vigorously down at you, the exact opposite of relaxed.
“Listen to me,” you urge quietly, trying to ignore the sight of his thick, swollen cock twitching restlessly against his abdomen, precum still steadily dribbling at the tip.  Is your mouth watering?  “This is it.  You’ll need to start projecting when you’re ready.  It’ll be tricky, but not impossible.  You’ll just have to imagine you’re inside me when it happens.”
Obi-Wan shakes his head vigorously from side to side, vehemently opposed.
“No, I don’t—” He croaks, “—I don’t know what it’s like, I won’t be able to—”
“Doesn’t my mouth feel similar at least?”  You ask, looking down at his cock once more.
“I-I—” Obi-Wan sputters, “I don’t know, young one—you tell me!”
Okay, well.  He… makes a valid point.
You settle back on your knees even further, gazing at your Master thoughtfully.  His chest continues to rise and fall with heavy breaths, a thin sheen of sweat coating his temples and a mild flush high in his cheeks, but his eyes have regained a bit of their focus.  “You can just try to imagine the, uh,” you try, your cunt nearly convulsing with burning need at the mere sight of him, “the same positioning and sensation from… earlier?”
“Alright, I can…”  Obi-Wan nods, though his hands are shaking.  “I’ll do the best I…”
You can’t help but lean forward to press a soft, encouraging kiss to his thigh, and he jerks under your touch.  You try it again, receiving the same result, and it makes you pause for just a minute longer.
“I’m nervous,” he blurts unceremoniously after a moment of stillness, as if you hadn’t noticed.  “Oh stars, I’m nervous, I—”
“Obi-Wan,” you let your voice lull, your hands squeezing gently around the bend of his knees once more.  “Calm down.  Clear your mind.”
He hiccups and you wait.  You wait with your mouth a few inches away from his cock, waiting for his breathing to slow and for him to follow your lead.
Can you hear me?  You murmur through the Force, and he quickly whimpers and nods.  Focus your thoughts.
You gently kiss at his tensing thighs once again, and he doesn’t flinch away from you this time.  His breathing slows into a calmer, steadier rhythm, letting you trail your lips gently along the curve of his leg.
Will you let me try something?  You ask after a moment, opening your mouth just the slightest bit to brush your tongue out and taste his skin.
“Y-Yes,” Obi-Wan says quietly, his breath stuttering through the word.
And—perhaps you shouldn’t have, but you give him something; a suggestion, more than anything else.  You give him a… visual.  A reference to guide his mind through the Force.
You, still in your black robe, slowly standing up from between his legs.  Widening your stance to straddle his lap, pull you robes up just enough, and then adjust your hips just slightly over the head of his cock.
Obi-Wan inhales sharply at the vision, his eyes clamping tightly shut against it in vain.  He can close his eyes, turn away, hide his face all he wants—he can’t escape the way your body looks as it slowly begins to sink down on his.
At the exact same time, you lower your mouth around his cock once more, and you try to make it as close to the sensation as possible.  You don’t even move your tongue, you simply lift your soft palate and close your lips around his girth, beginning to carefully bob up and down along his length in time to the image you’re conjuring of you riding him.
Only, you already feel his balls tightening up and his body starting to go rigid with tension once again, and you can sense him still wanting to resist his approaching orgasm.  It’s okay, Master, you encourage quietly through the vision, it’s okay, just let it come easy.
“I—I’m not—” he shakes his head back and forth against the bed frantically, his breathing getting shallower and almost immediately picking back up to where it was before you stopped.  “I d-don’t want—”
Stop fighting, you tell him, continuing to mimic the sensation of him thrusting into your aching, neglected cunt with slow and steady movements of your throat.  Don’t run from it, let it take you.
He grits your name tightly in response and subconsciously begins to rock his hips up to match your unhurried pace, his ragged breathing gasping out into the quiet room and gradually increasing in volume and desperation the longer he stubbornly tries to hold out against it.
You know not strong enough to use the Force to coax it out of him.  You can’t alter your technique and break the illusion, either.  So you have to resort to desperate measures.
There’s enough remaining wherewithal to your mind that prevents you from permanently damaging his clothing when you tear his robes open with the Force and allow the metaphysical image of yourself to rip them apart with your hands.  Obi-Wan gasps when both versions of you reach up his bare torso at the same time and dig your nails into his chest.
Master—you demand, taking his cock down your throat as far as you can go and then clawing hard down his stomach—cum.
And thank everything good and right in the universe that he remembers at the very last second to start projecting, because being this close to someone as strong in the Force as Obi-Wan when he finally succumbs to his first taste of the Dark Side is just a fucking atomic missile straight to your nervous system.
It’s all you can do to just remember to keep swallowing.
The projection he casts out through the shockwave is utterly flawless—brilliantly composed, looking and feeling so authentic and overwhelming even from this distance that there should be no issue at all convincing any s’Ziscari in the wide vicinity who are tuning in right now.
Except—then you hear it.  Through the roaring pleasure of his thoughts, a flicker of his subconscious he’s unable to mask through the mind blowing bliss.
Is she…? Maker above, she’s drinking it—
A ragged groan tears through the silence of the room, his cock pulsing spectacularly on your tongue.  He just keeps cumming, and cumming, and so you just have to keep swallowing, and swallowing.  You suppose you should’ve expected this from a fully grown man who lived a life of celibacy, but what would typically be a rather short moment with anyone else subsequently goes on long enough to where Obi-Wan is actually able to lazily raise his head up from the mattress and simply watch you continue to swallow his load, dazed and reverent in his stare, glassy blue eyes trained on the hypnotic movements your jaw and throat make around him.  The remaining traces of whatever visual he attempted to maintain immediately flicker out of existence, replaced instead by the sight of your mouth around his cock, diligently taking down each rope of cum he gives you.
When he finally stops throbbing, you reluctantly let his cock fall from your mouth and slowly stand up as the botched projection fizzles out completely.  His gaze eventually follows the movement like he’s on a five second delay.
“So, uh…”  Your voice is hoarse.  “We… need to have sex.”
“Alright,” he agrees dreamily, his eyes lazily dragging down your body.  “Alright, we can have… I… Wait, what?”
“You, uh.  I know it wasn’t intentional, but you might’ve, uh…”  You  shuffle awkwardly from side to side, wondering why you’ve chosen now of all moments to become shy with him.  You’re literally still savoring the taste of his release in your mouth.  “You might’ve accidentally projected a very specific thought towards the end there and let everyone know that we weren’t actually doing what we’re technically supposed to be doing.”
“What did… what did I think?”  The question would likely be nonsense in literally any other situation, but you understand.  And truthfully, for the life of you, you can’t find it within yourself to feel even a little bit mad about it, not when it means you can continue doing this together.  You can’t even conjure up a single shred of disappointment in his failure, it’d just be a lie.
“Doesn’t matter,” you assure him, your heart continuing to pound.  You know you should make your next move now while he’s still so loopy, the post-orgasm bliss causing his signature to vibrate with pulsing endorphins as he blinks up at you slowly from the bed.  “Though we won’t be able to do it for a little bit, just uh.  Just for general… anatomical reasons.  But that should’ve at least counted for… initiating the Ritual, so I don’t think we have to worry about time anymore.”
Obi-Wan just stares at you, his Force signature feeling more serene and spaced out than you’ve ever sensed before.  Oh Maker, how you wish you felt the same.  You swallow thickly, still tasting his hard orgasm on your tongue, and then try not to clamp your thighs together with how embarrassingly turned on you are.  Anyone with any experience whatsoever would know exactly what you’re going through with just a mere glance—you’re biting your lip with your entire body is subtly crumpled in towards your swollen, neglected pussy—and your Master has been watching you struggle through it this entire time.
“Are you alright?”  He asks dumbly, finally managing to at least push himself upright, still completely unaware or unconcerned at his softening cock on full display for you and your starving libido.  “You’re… shaking.”
“I—won’t die,” is the only serious assurance you can make to both him and yourself right now that’ll ease your suffering the smallest bit.  The last thing you want right now is to come on too strong and snap him back to his senses, bringing everything back to square one.  “Just, uh… r-really worked—worked up.  Trying to just.  C-Cool it?”
Your fingers flex at your sides because no matter what you try, you just can’t stop thinking about his.  They’re right there.  They’re so close, so strong and thick and—
“Aren’t you…”  He trails off, letting his head tilt and then drop to his shoulder with a combination of confusion and exhaustion.  “Aren’t you going to…?”
“To what?”  You prompt shortly, your hands suddenly clenching into fists to deal with another violent wave of arousal at how unbelievably drunk he still looks.  Maker, you did that.  That’s all you.
“s’Zerthia said all—” Obi-Wan murmurs, blinking long lashes lazily up at you, “—all Jedi must… participate.”
Fuck. Just hearing him provide you an excuse to give into the boiling arousal causes you to suddenly break out into a sweat.  You don’t know if he wants you to get yourself off or if he’s indirectly implying he wants to help, but you’re so far beyond desperate that you jump at the chance as soon as he so much as hints at the opportunity.
Very slowly, you move forward and lift one trembling knee to brace next to his thigh on the mattress, and then carefully swing your other leg over his lap, lowering yourself into a straddle in the same exact position he attempted to project earlier.  You’re so unbelievably cautious about his cock, making sure you don’t accidentally touch it and jolt him awake.  Instead of your newfound proximity scaring him away like you feared though, he stays so… docile.  Still so relaxed from his very first orgasm that he even rests his large palms over the thin fabric covering your thighs, letting the loose silk drape and fold over his hands as he drags them up and down.
His eyes follow your trembling fingers as you work at the knot tying the material around your body, your cunt throbbing between your legs at how he’s just… staring.  His eyelids are dipped slightly, breathing so calm and slouched under you, pliant and waiting.
The thin fabric slowly parts only enough to reveal the valley between your bare chest to him, and you watch his eyes fall down the thin strip of skin and catch on the dark line of your panties riding low on your hips.  Maker, you can’t help but remember his terror at even glimpsing the two acolytes taking off their robes earlier—the way his eyes bounced around and how his cheeks lost whatever color they had left to them as soon as he finally made himself look.  Now, though.  Now he can’t seem to drag his eyes away from the soft flesh of your tummy, the way your nipples are still covered by the thin fabric of your slightly parted robe but are impossible to miss while your breasts subtly move with your breathing.
You gently call one of his wrists to your hand with the Force and Obi-Wan is either mentally or physically too weak to resist your will.  He allows you to catch his hand and slowly lead it downwards with both of your smaller ones to the part of your body that’s longed for his attention for years, though now it’s absolutely weeping for it.
You don’t want to scare him.  You don’t want to scare him.  Oh Maker, you need him to be brave for you right now, or at least just continue to be stupefied.  You can work with stupefied, but you cannot work with panic, especially when you feel your own wanting to rise up the more you drag this out.
When the tips of his fingers brush against the waistband of your panties, Obi-Wan’s hand pushes under it without your guidance.
You’re throbbing.  It’s been years in the making.  Unable to stop the way your thighs contract and you lift your hips against his palm as it steadily curves down the slope of your soft curls, the sight of the finish line so within reach makes you reckless and too quick.  You can’t help it.  When he gets hesitant and eventually slows down to a halt right above your slit, you don’t even think before you’re suddenly giving his wrist an abrupt shove with the Force, pulling his hand down before he’s ready and forcing his middle finger deep through the soaking cleft of your pussy.
Your shameless moan of his name comes out sounding so grateful—you pour everything you have into it and sag into Obi-Wan’s chest at the feeling, but he startles and all but rips his hand out of your underwear before you can stop him.  He was a hair’s breadth from touching your clit and the denial of it—the sudden turnaround from your goal is just so massively overwhelming that tears suddenly spring to your eyes.
You can just barely make out the sight of him staring down at his trembling hand between the two of you, your slick shining wet and hot along the length of his finger. 
“Stars,” he rasps, blinking his wide, sapphire gaze up to yours—and then he quite suddenly looks alarmed.  “Did I—Did I hurt you?”  Obi-Wan gasps, his energy beginning to outright seize with distress while you blink rapidly and try not to crumble on his lap.
“No—I’m sorry, it’s just—I’m just… oh, fuck, I n-need it,” you stammer.  “Oh fuck, I need it Master, I’m so sorry—I’m trying to be calm but—”
“What is it, little dove?”  He urges, reaching his hand up to your face and flicking his eyes back and forth between yours, sounding almost as panicked as you do from your desperation.  “What do you need?”
“Oh stars, Obi-Wan, I need you to just—” You can’t fit anything into words, a tear finally making its way down your cheek when you clamp your eyes shut in frustration.  You just need him to understand, to give you what you’ve been craving for so long—but when you blink your eyes back open, his troubled expression has suddenly resolved itself.
Your Master’s hands immediately grab tight to your hips and twist you around, easily tossing you back up onto the mattress.  The jostle of bouncing back into the soft fur startles you, but not nearly as much as when he climbs over your body and braces an elbow next to your head, gently placing the tips of his fingers to your temple.
He pushes carefully but firmly against your natural mental barriers, flexing the energy shields inwards gently enough to not hurt you but with enough force to let you know he’s entirely capable of breaking through should you refuse to let him in.
So you do.  You let him in without a single thought, never mind a second one.  Obi-Wan gasps as your shields all but collapse for him that easily, and then he’s finally breaching the surface of your thoughts.
“Oh—Maker above, little one,” he grits almost immediately, his forehead dropping to your shoulder and his other hand wrapping tight around your arm as he struggles to acclimate to the blinding distress you’re experiencing.  “Collect—” he groans as your cunt clamps down at the rasp of his broken voice, “—collect yourself.  I can’t—can’t think—”
Oh, no, it’s too much.  It’s way too much, even just having him inside your head without being able to read him in return—it’s too much for you.  You start hyperventilating and instead of wanting him out, you just want to drown out the sensation of everything else.  The endlessly pulsing, aching throb between your legs that you’ve been dealing with for so long, the way you can feel his cock dragging against your tummy from this angle and how much you already want it in your mouth again, the way your nipples are so hard right now that even this soft fabric feels so rough and sharp against—
Your robe suddenly rips itself off your chest, and you whimper up at the ceiling as you dig your fingers into thick fur and writhe under him, almost completely naked and just desperate for him to do something, to at least just use his hands or his mouth to make you feel bet—
Obi-Wan’s head drops and his blazing mouth opens hot around your nipple, his tongue rolling soft and slick up under the hard bud.
You choke out the first part of his name and you barely even have a flicker of a thought—a brief flash of a rabid, baser desire you’re not even able to consciously recognize before you feel his jaw opening and his teeth closing gently around it, biting down just hard enough to make you spasm bright and urgent between your legs.  “Oh, fuck—”
As soon as you feel the pleasure and twisting ache spark deep in your core, Obi-Wan flutters his eyes shut and wedges his hand back into your panties, humming low in his throat when your legs jerk apart for him.
This time, your clit is the very first thing he touches.
He zeroes in on it.  The tip of his finger starts to rub it exactly how you’d do it to yourself, exactly the right angle and speed and pressure that your body suddenly feels massively overheated and dizzy from it.  It blindsides you.  It makes sense he’d be able to do this, after all, but for some reason, the whole thing just absolutely blindsides you.
“Maker,” you whimper at the ceiling, soft and pitched high in your throat, eyes rolling back when Obi-Wan gently bites down on your nipple again and continues to work to relieve you even as every muscle in your body feels like it’s tightening up.
“Stars—” he whispers when he pulls away, “This—this feels incredible, Padawan.”
You moan and roll your hips against his hand, on cloud nine at just how he’s slowly allowing himself to become filthier with you, to lower himself in all his righteous beliefs and descend into delicious sin with you, and—
—wait, did he just…?
Your cunt clamps down hard with realization as he continues massaging your clit better than you’ve ever even done it yourself.  Maker, it shouldn’t turn you on so much but it does, hearing that word in this context.  Padawan.  Padawan, holding her legs open while her Master explores her pussy.  Padawan, moaning desperately as her orgasm buzzes deep down inside with a rising, threatening resonance.  Padawan, Padawan, Padawan—
“Oh, you liked that,” Obi-Wan remarks tightly, taking a second to tug on your clit.  You nearly start to cry again, your insides pulling up and going rigid at the sensation.  “I heard it, little one.  You like it when I call you that?”
“Oh I like it when you do f-fucking anything,” you choke out helplessly, your words starting to slur together.  “Oh fuck, you’re so amazing, you’re so good at everything, you’re the best Jedi in the whole entire galaxy Master, you’re so much better th—”
“My, you’re agreeable like this, aren’t you?”  Obi-Wan grits, his touches growing stronger and quicker and rocketing you straight to the edge of madness.  “Shall I take that to heart, my darling little Padawan?  Or did you say such flattering things to the oth—”
“Wait!”  You suddenly exclaim, desperately trying to push his hands away.  “Oh, nonononono—wait, wait, wait, I—I-I’m about to cum—I need to—”
His hand yanks itself out of your underwear once more and you take giant, gasping breaths and try to compose yourself at least somewhat, but then your Master is quickly scrambling down your body and using the Force to rip your panties down your hips—
“Obi-Wan, wait—” you choke out, “that isn’t—you don’t… h-have to…”
He looks up at you, dark brows furrowed in confusion.
“I’ll be able to—y-you don’t—”  You have to take a few gasping breaths and remember how to speak Basic.  “I used my mouth on you before because I… I wanted to.  If—If you don’t want to do that, you don’t have to.  It’s not… oh fucking stars above, it’s not n-necessary.”
“Are you telling me this because you don’t want me to?”  He immediately asks, though you both already clearly know the answer to that considering how exposed your wild thoughts are to him right now.
“Ah, no I, uh… I just.”  You try to clear the thickness from your throat and you feel your body tremble while you focus as much effort as possible into trying to explain.  “I just want to be sure I’m not taking advantage of you, that’s all, I—I want you to know the truth about these things.  It’s not… necessary, b-but.”
“But.”  He repeats the word meaningfully as he glances back down at your weeping cunt, nodding slowly to himself.
And then your Master leans in, flutters his eyes shut, and slides his warm tongue deep into the seam of your pussy with absolutely no hesitation whatsoever.
“Obi—Wan—!?”  You gasp, somewhere between a squeak and a squeal, your entire upper body launching upwards around his head as your clit is immediately enveloped into a slick, dexterous furnace.
Hold still, you hear his voice warn through the Force, sounding so much closer than you’ve ever heard him before.  Whether that can be attributed to the fact that the command came directly from wherever he is inside your head or whether it’s simply because his tongue is now tracing gentle circles around your clit as you whimper pitifully into the quiet of the dimly lit room, you’re not sure.  All you know is that his mouth feels like velvet between your legs and his beard is scraping across your thighs and your fingers have buried themselves in his hair without your conscious permission.
Hold still, young one, he urges once more, but you just close your eyes and moan shamelessly at it this time, opening your legs wider for him.  His voice, it’s… it’s maddening like this, coming directly from your own thoughts.  Deep, precise, somehow sounding so true, so much clearer and full-bodied without your pesky ears in the way.  Your hips are subconsciously rolling slowly against the lower half of his face when Obi-Wan apparently decides he’s had enough.
An invisible energy wraps around each of your individual limbs and snaps them against the mattress without any warning.  You whimper high in your throat, arms and legs held so firmly against the bed with the Force that your internal struggles aren’t able to be translated outwardly; he doesn’t allow your body a single centimeter to move under him, no matter how hard you fight it.  Which means you have to lay there and just take the way Obi-Wan’s hot mouth continues to lick and kiss at your clit slowly, taking all the time in the universe to properly explore you between the legs he’s forced apart.
“Obi—” you croak breathlessly at the ceiling, feeling a familiar heat start to burn hot and tight through your core, “Obi, I—I have to p-project—before I—ah!—before you—before you ma-make me cu—ugh, f-fuck—I have t-to—”
Then project, he encourages simply, gently fluttering his tongue over your clit.  You gasp and he hums, murmuring through the Force once more to you.  We’re not hiding anymore.  They’ll all know I’m using my mouth on you like this.  It’s alright.  Let them know.
You realize you’re going to cum the second you hear your Master’s voice say the words using my mouth on you like this while he slowly sucks on your clit, and you barely have enough wherewithal to gulp in a giant breath and begin projecting your signature as far across the palace and surrounding city as physically possible before your body shatters hot into searing euphoria under him.
Obi-Wan groans deep in his throat and holds you perfectly still under him as you cum with a ragged, hoarse wail of his name, giant waves of white hot bliss beginning to radiate through the Force from you with spectacular power.  The contractions are so much more pronounced when it’s one of the only sets of muscles in your body he’s granted permission to move.  It’s like everything is concentrated and multiplied there because of it.  You can feel each individual spasm your floor muscles make as they convulse against his tongue, how each blazing shot of ecstasy that shatters through your body wrings more and more wetness from your cunt into your Master’s mouth.
Never.  Ever ever ever.  Has anyone done something so mind blowingly sexy to you.  Nobody.  Ever.  He’s a virgin, you frantically remember as Obi-Wan purrs softly into the folds of your pussy while it cums all over him.
Your thoughts, young one, you can just barely make out his voice remind you gently, just as gently as he sucks on your clit through the aftershocks, somehow sounding even more aroused than he did before.
After allowing your projection to flicker out of existence with a putter, you’re completely dazed.  Incapable of moving regardless of the way he keeps you pinned with the Force long after he pulls away, slowly moves back up your body and waits while you work to regain your bearings.  You don’t even want to open your eyes right now, knowing he’s looking down at your peaceful expression while you work to catch your breath.  You’re too stupid with pleasure you almost don’t even process the soft touch of something against your lips.
You’re lovely.
The thought is so quiet you don’t even recognize it isn’t your own.  Not until he keeps pressing his lips to yours so sweetly, not knowing to do anything else when your mind is too fractured with ecstasy to unconsciously act as his compass like before.  Everything is innocent and gentle and not reminiscent of the fact that the robes you’re both wearing are wide open and your mouths tasted of each other even before he kissed you.
Instead of melting into the soft touches, though, they just start to burn you alive, the thick fog of your orgasm clearing more and more with each gentle press of his lips and your need for him steadily growing.  He’s kissing you.  Master Kenobi is kissing you for a few precious, heart stopping seconds at a time before pulling away, pausing to look at your face each time to make sure your eyes are still closed, before leaning down and carefully pressing his lips to yours again.
The only part you can’t stand is that he won’t even let you move your jaw to kiss him back.
Kiss me, Obi-Wan, you urge desperately through the Force, not wanting to interrupt to speak.
“I am, little one,” he replies between kisses, and the sincerity in his tone tells you he’s not purposefully teasing you.  No, this is him kissing you, genuinely, the only way he knows how to.
Let me— you start to struggle in earnest against his hold on you, —please, let me—
The warm breath from his nose puffs softly against your cheek with a quiet little sound from far back in his throat, and then you suddenly gain the ability to move from the neck up.
You immediately part his lips with yours and Obi-Wan pulls back just the slightest bit in response, but your neck lifts up to compensate as you lick deep into his warm mouth.  He gasps at the foreign sensation and loses his concentration for a split second, enough for you to break free of it completely.  Your hands quickly fly up to cradle his face as soon as they can move and your fingers hook around the thick beard blanketing his sharp jawline, urging him back down into you.
Your legs come up to wrap around his lower back and he sags against your strong will with a needy groan, dropping down closer and obediently keeping his mouth open for you to taste.  As soon as he presses his body into yours, his cock strains and drags against your lower stomach, already throbbing hot and leaking precum along the soft hills of your skin.
Maker, you want it but somehow you… you don’t.  You just want to savor tonight as long as you physically can, keep holding him and kissing him like this for another few hours at least before you try to take his cock, but he’s unintentionally grinding it against you while his tongue shyly dances with yours, needy and already raring to go in his own timid way.
Do you want it, Master?  You finally murmur to him, running your fingers through his hair and gently biting his bottom lip, scooting your hips up to let him rub himself against something better than your tummy.  You feel… ready.
The only response you get from him is a shuddering, helpless moan into your mouth and you hold him tighter to you, grinding your still sensitive cunt up against his cock while he pulls hard at the soft fur next to your head.  Your feel your soaking pussy lips part around the solid curve of his length and gradually coat the underside of him in slick with every gentle circle and roll your hips make, and Obi-Wan finally pulls away from your mouth to drop his forehead to your neck.
“Yes, I—” he moans into you skin, “Oh stars, I want it.”
With a gentle wave of your hand, you use the Force to drop his hips down to the proper angle and tilt the head of his cock to line him up perfectly.
And now this is the part you don’t want to rush.  This is when you take Obi-Wan Kenobi’s virginity.  You’ll savor just being able to remember this for the rest of your fucking life.  You’ll see him in Council meetings years from now and be reminded that you’re the only person in the galaxy to know the thickness of him as he rests heavy up against your entrance, the way his voice presses deliciously tight in his throat as he gasps out into the quiet room.  You’re the only one who will know that sound, that sound is yours, that sound belongs to—
“Padawan,” he grits, hips stuttering into you while you wrap your arms around his shoulders, “your thoughts—”
You groan up at the ceiling and your pussy tightens at the reminder that he can still hear you, but your body is just too bold and desperate for it.  Your thoughts begin to flare bright, growing more possessive by the second, and you can’t even wait for him this time.  Every single muscle in Obi-Wan’s body goes rigid when you tighten your grip around him and roll your hips up into his cock, letting it break you open nice and slow.
It stretches you wide with a deliciously sharp fullness and pleasure rips through you as Obi-Wan instinctively tries to lift off you and away from it, but you’re clinging too tightly to him.  Your whole body hovers off the mattress to stay with him. 
“You said—” he gasps, “—it wouldn’t h-hurt—oh—”
“It doesn’t,” you groan, continuing to tighten your legs and hoist yourself up, lifting your hips to take his cock deeper inside you.  “Oh, Maker, it feels so fucking good, Obi—feel it—”
His elbows shake where they’re locked and braced against the mattress but he drops his head and holds strong like this while you work your muscles to take him as far as you can from this shameful angle.  Your body feels like it’s on fire while you desperately cling to him and the length of your robe brushes against the mattress while you just keep trying to get him deeper inside you—
Suddenly something grabs hard at your hips and tries shoves you downwards and off his cock, but you want it too badly.  You summon the hidden strength of your energy and then channel it into your legs where they’re hooked around the curve of his lower back.
Obi-Wan chokes at the unexpected resistance and his elbows buckle, dropping you both down to his forearms with a jolt, but you’re too busy mentally clashing with each other for it.  The result is… well, it’s maddening.
Every time your pussy is able to swallow him more than halfway, you pull back and let his energy shove you down his length—but then dig back in right before you drop completely and use the Force to bend your legs and fight the uphill battle to his cock once more.  Your Master gasps, beads of sweat gathering at his temples while you fight him with every ragged breath in your body to keep fucking him.
Except—he’s the fighter.  And you should’ve known.
You’re no match for the sudden blast of energy from him, easily hinging your legs apart from around his back and then ripping you down off his cock with a wet sound, bouncing back down into the mattress once more.
In order to stop the desperate tears of defeat from coming to your eyes, you immediately clamp them shut and twist your face away from Obi-Wan’s, but he makes a low growl and uses the same ferocious royal blue energy to keep your knees pinned open and wide against the bed. 
And then drops his hips and rocks back into you, giving you those last few precious inches of his thickness you weren’t able to get at before.  It hits sharp nirvana up inside you with his thighs pressed tight to your hips like this.  His name rips itself from your throat while Obi-Wan clenches his jaw and starts to lose himself in the pleasure, holding you down into the bed with the Force while he allows your desperation to guide him to the perfect angle and speed to sate you. 
He’s so gifted, so strong in the Force, he’s able to use your mind as his anchor and give you pleasure beyond anything you’ve ever experienced.  And in return, you want to do the same to him.  You want to read his thoughts, instantly be able to give him everything he never knew he needed—
“You do,” your Master chokes out, “darling, you already—”
Everything inside you surges up at the admission, aching that much harder to hear him, to hear everything the way he can hear you.  The tips of your fingers find his temple, slick with sweat, and you press just hard enough to tell him your intent.
“Let me in,” you whisper, wicked arousal swirling tight in your lower muscles as they start to bear down on his cock.
“I—I can’t—” Obi-Wan gasps breathlessly, “I can’t—”
“Open—open the door, Master,” you beg, “please, open th—”
“Fuck,” he cuts you off, his voice rising in pitch while his his hips snap just a little harder against yours and his rhythm falters, “—It’s too good, Padaw—I’m going t-to—stars, are you—are you r-ready?”
Some terrifying, swirling darkness manifests itself deep in your thoughts.  It rises up, part of the desperate, hidden subconscious that you’re typically capable of stifling.  No, it says, don’t let this be over.  Not yet.  You don’t want to go to sleep alone, wake up and remember you’ll never have this again.  You need there to be a next time, and a time after it.
You try your hardest to push the longing downwards when you recognize it, but your Master is too quick, too talented to deceive when he’s this close to you.  He easily plucks it from your mind and expands it, enlarges the chaotic string of thoughts until you feel them pulsing at the edges of your consciousness.
And then Obi-Wan sees it all, immediately playing out in your memories as you helplessly watch on.  Every desire you buried for him unearthed, every whimper you stifled with the back of your hand when you touched yourself at night and thought of him amplified.  The years of repression, the blind hope that simply ignoring it would make it go away.  How hard you worked to deaden the burst of affection that radiated through the Force when you finally saw him after two years apart.  The circumstances behind the night you lost your virginity—not a long time ago, as he suggested before, but only just last year.  So desperate in your loneliness and longing for his presence that you began routinely sneaking around and fucking other Knights—Guardians with blue sabers whose souls were just marginally close enough to Obi-Wan’s, and you thought of him the whole time.  Every time.
But, perhaps, worst of all.  The… fantasies.
He sees himself dropping to his knees and congratulating you for passing your trials by burying his tongue inside your warmth and telling you how proud of you he is.  He sees you opening his trousers and slowly licking his cock while he meditates, trying to get him to break his concentration.  He watches the two of you fucking in every conceivable position, how incredibly ready you always are to take him when he needs it.  Most importantly, he recognizes your inherent, blazing desire to drag this out as long as physically possible, to permanently brand every moment in your memory to get you through his impending absence.
And then… then Obi-Wan does something unexpected.  Something incredibly uncharacteristic.
You watch as he morphs the fantasies right before your eyes.  He's still on his knees with his head between your legs, but now he’s telling you how proud he is of you for negotiating the mysterious, confidential deal that ended the Clone Wars.  You’re licking his cock as the ship autopilots itself through the week-long journey back to Coruscant from s’Ziscari, letting him slowly cum in your mouth as he sprawls lazily in the captain’s chair.  He’s taking you against the wall of your quarters after a mindless and dull Council meeting; you’re riding him quietly in his bed after lights-out at the temple; he’s rubbing your clit while he sits behind you and advises you on matters concerning your own Padawan you’ll be choosing sometime soon, two fingers deep and squeezing a bared nipple when he whispers in your ear how much he absolutely adores you.
Thoughts that aren’t your own begin to fill the empty spaces of your mind, a lovely pale blue tenor to harmonize gorgeously with the soft green alto of your own consciousness.  The resulting color of your combined energies fills your soul with Light, a stunning turquoise of a color you’ve never loved more, one you wish you could live in for the rest of your life.
For every debased thought of yours he sees, he shows you one even more revealing.  The way he used to dream of you at night, especially after a close battle where many Jedi and Clones fell, and then he’d wake up in a cold sweat with an erection pulsing feverish and so terribly shameful between his legs.  How he tried to shove a pillow down there once to somehow relieve himself of the aching hardness, and then had to rip it away and launch it across the room with the Force when he realized he’d been dragging himself against it and thinking of you.
“I’m gonna—cum—” your voice scrapes across your throat, and you can already sense him throwing his beautiful consciousness out like a net.  You match him with what little mental strength you have remaining, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and your ankles around his lower back and pulling him down into you.
Obi-Wan’s energy keeps swirling a brilliant aquamarine with yours, presenting his every subconscious thought to you, one right after another, so quick you can barely keep up.  How he’ll always be with you, no matter what.  How the Maker himself won’t be able to drag him away from you now.  How quiet jealousy still tugs at his heart just thinking about the fact that you broke your oath—before you both could do it together.
Everything swells up inside you and you scream when it finally crashes over, your blended signatures sealing themselves together permanently and then detonating in a debilitating shockwave that ripples the air around you.  You’re blinded and deafened by its vivid energy, powerful and dazzling every shade between blue and green and Light and Dark, all balanced perfectly together.
You lay there in the gentle afterglow afterwards and feel your pussy still clamping tight to him, pulsing in random intervals while Obi-Wan slouches into you and every muscle in his body trembles with the comedown.  Everything is right.  Everything in you sparkles.
“Stars, Obi,” you start chuckling up at the ceiling, the sheer joy overwhelming you and bringing tears to your eyes.  “Stars, did we just—”
“We just won the Clone Wars, my dear,” he slurs into the crook of your neck while his cock still throbs inside you, and you can feel the exhaustion creeping up his spine, every single thought in his mind completely dead at the moment.
“How long do you… do you think it’ll take before it’s over?”  You ask quietly, brushing your fingers through his hair.  Obi-Wan groans and buries his face deeper into your neck.
“Few months, maybe.  Time for s’Ziscari…”
He stays like that for just a second, and you press your nose to him and breathe him in, marveling at how utterly gorgeous his signature is right now.  Clear blue with the lightest touch of teal, rippling like quiet water in a crystal calm riverbed.
Lovely.
You keep softly playing with the hair at his nape, and then quickly wrap your arms around him when he goes to try to brace his forearms next to your shoulders and lift up just the slightest bit.
“Wait, don’t—it’s—”  You bite your lip and feel him sink back down into your body without another word, clearly having only attempted it for appearances.  “This is good, let’s just… stay for a second.” 
He doesn’t respond, he doesn’t even move, and—a few months, you think.  A few months of his absence, of wondering where he is but never being able to ask.  It burdens your heart, but you understand it’s necessary.
The Council may… grant me a position with a more permanent location after this mission, he responds quietly to your dip in the Force after a moment, too tired to even talk anymore and exhaustion weaving his every thought.  On Coruscant.
Your heart pangs with sudden hope, and you know he can feel it.  “They would do that?”
I could ask to oversee the s’Ziscari’s assimilation into our ranks, he offers alongside a stifled yawn into your collarbone.
He’d… request that?  To be closer to you?  But why?
He doesn’t hesitate before offering the words to you simply, not even considering them before they’re the only thought in his mind.  Because I care for you more than there are stars in the sky.  I always have.
Lovely.
No, no, not even, that’s just.  Love.  By itself.
“Yes,” Obi-Wan murmurs softly into your neck, and your soul feels like it grows wings.
You both lay there in silence for a long time after that, and it takes you even longer to realize he hasn’t succumbed to sleep yet, even as the aching fatigue weighs heavy on his back.  He’s resisting it, keeping his eyes purposefully open against your neck while yours are blissfully shut.
“Master,” you eventually whisper up at the ceiling, and his cock twitches inside you.  Oh stars, you’ll have to remember that.  “Go to sleep.”
I have one more confession.  The thoughts are slurred and distorted, barely conscious as he desperately tries to outlast the sleep trying to pull him under.  I didn’t even want to mention it before because I didn’t know how this was all going to go, but…  He blinks slowly against your neck even as his eyes droop, only just a few seconds from passing out with exertion.  The Sh’inzith lasts six days, dove.
Your eyes pop open in shock just as his finally fall shut, and Obi-Wan stops fighting.
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angstyantoinette ¡ 4 years ago
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Yandere! Lenore Headcanons
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Warnings: NSFW, gaslighting, forced relationship, kidnapping, emotional manipulation. i mean, c’mon, it’s Lenore.
♦️I DO NOT CONDONE THESE BEHAVIORS IN REAL LIFE.♦️
Lenore is the epitome of a yandere who uses emotional manipulation to get what she desires. She’s a diplomat, wishing to maintain peace with other countries, and in doing that...it’s very easy to get ensnared in her web of lies. She is sneaky, hellbent on completing whatever goal she sets herself to.
One day, she just so happened to see you. Looking out the window, absent-mindedly, she saw a small, running figure in the midst of the Styria snow. 
It was alarming surprising to say the least; if any humans were to find it’s way out here in the cold, they wouldn’t survive long. For this one to be so proficient in their movements, they must be an experienced traveler of some sort. And regarding the cold...you must be wearing some kind of fur. As she continued to watch you, she took note that you never fully came near the castle; you were careful to stray from it’s grounds and never come close. So, you were a smart one...how very cute.
She will most likely become interested in you from either a grand, powerful gesture or maybe even a pathetic encounter, but Lenore probably won’t pay much attention to you if she doesn’t see a benefit for herself. But in a Yandere universe, Lenore will do whatever it takes to snatch you up and claim you, keeping you with her forever. That being said, consider yourself very unlucky if she decides to pursue you. 
She’s the kind of yandere to never be too fast, nor slow with her plans in action; and she will try to use her skills as a master puppeteer to draw you in. No longer will you be able to keep your distance, away from the demons, away from Lenore. 
If it’s one things we all know by know it’s that she’s a cruel, a truly sadistic individual. As we see in her interactions with Hector, she’s alluring...almost hypnotic in a sense as she lures her food to exactly where she wants them. Her abilities to gaslight and trick others makes it easier for you to mess up; cue an unfair punishment.
But you’re not her food, but you’re definitely her prey in a different sense. She will not stop at just seeing you and letting you go if she gets bored. If the latter does happen, she will kill you. I’m warning you; don’t struggle or resist. You may just find your end coming closer than you hoped. 
Your original accommodation is a partially-luxurious cell; I say partially because Lenore will use your weaknesses against you in order to demean you. She loves it when you beg for mercy, when you beg for her to let you go. It reminds the both of you that she’s the one in control, your life rests in her hands, and she lives to see the horror in your eyes as you realize that this time, you might not live to see another day. 
Personally, I feel as though Lenore would reward you just as much as she likes to punish you. If you obey her commands, if you listen to her and just stop struggling Lenore will give you gifts. If she knows that you’re hungry, she’ll slip you a hunk of bread. If she wants you to look nice, she’ll brush your hair, maybe wrap a soft scarf through your locks. 
Lenore has the final say in everything to do with you, and the other vampire sisters who she works with could give less of a shit; unless Lenore suspects or catches them trying to kill you, they mostly do anything to keep out of her way where you’re concerned, not wishing for any jeopardizing of ruling Styria.
One of the hardest things about being her darling is that you never actually know how Lenore feels about you. Does she love you? She sure seems to enjoy taking care of you, rewarding you, pleasing you over and over again. Does she want to kill you? You just hate it when she starves you. Why can’t just Lenore let you die, instead of beating you and throwing you around like a doll. She keeps you guessing, and you are thrusted unwillingly into a sick game that bids for your life. You have to constantly be on guard, your lover just treasures it when you cry at her feet, begging for her love which she so diligently gives you. She only punishes you when you deserve it, pet.
The worst feeling of all...is the power that Lenore holds over your head. If you were to try and escape, the outcome could be different depending on her mood. Forced cuddles? If she was feeling nice about it and generous, you’d be forced into her lap, swaddled in blankets, her claws keeping you close to her chest. But no matter how nice she may play herself out to be, Lenore is a monster. Everything she does ‘for you’ is for herself, and she will always be above you.
NSFW
WARNING: DUB-CON, NON-CON, GASLIGHTING.
Except, Lenore’s version of love is breaking, then building her darling up again. If it takes making you cum until you can’t anymore so you just shut up and listen, Lenore will relish in your punishment.
She prides herself in her ability to use your own pleasure against you. You can’t help it. You hate it, when these sexual acts should be so gratifying and sensual, they are performed as though you’re being tortured. Which you are, of course. You hate your body’s betrayal against your better judgment when you cum from Lenore’s touch. This woman has taken you, hunted you down, and forced you into sickening submission.
She has ruined you in many ways, but once Lenore finds a sweet spot to abuse, it’s game over. She loves blindfolding you, tying you down to her lavish bed, with the air making your body prickle with goosebumps; partly from your nakedness, and partly from your fear. She literally makes you guess what she’s going to use on you, and if you get it wrong (you almost always do) she uses it on you ten times harder. She gets off on your pain to the worst level.
Her ways of “pleasing” you makes you orgasm so many times, but Lenore will always finish the job with oral sex. In terms of giving and receiving, she is mostly a giver in her own fucked up way, but she mostly goes down on you to prove a point or as a harsh punishment. Although, since you’re her lover, Lenore really wouldn’t mind you being forced getting between her legs to serve her occasionally.
“Pet, how many times do I have to tell you? You are mine, and you always will be. You never had a choice! That being said, lie down like the good pet you are.”
***********************
so shit just got dark. i wanted to try something new, and i love this show and loathe this character, meaning that it was very easy for me to make her sound as bad as she really is, perhaps even worse. Lenore is so well written and well acted in Castlevania, and she needs more content in the fandom. i am NOT romanticizing her behavior towards Hector or what i’ve written in any way, i just thought it might be interesting to see how she would act if she genuinely “loved” obsessed over someone. Hector is just so gorgeous and cute, he deserves the best. poor boy.
anyway, hope you enjoyed! ♦️
197 notes ¡ View notes
damnlance ¡ 3 years ago
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Klance angsty prompt 6 please 👀
Klangst Prompt #6
6. “You’ve never hurt me. Ever”
Summary: Lately, Lance has been stressed beyond the point of breaking… The end of the war was 3 years ago and yet, it’s not enough time to pass for Lance to feel better. Not even close. Everyone has always called him a hero. And since the day they landed back on earth, everyone has gone so far to ask for photos and autographs and all that. These days Lance is sick of it.
Or; the pressures of being the ‘savior of earth’ has been building up inside of Lance, causing him to erupt on any and everyone.
Good thing he has his amazing boyfriend.
-there’s a slow start, but I PROMISE it’s klance so just keep reading!
-also galra (kitten) Keith ?? I love him
-
It all started with a fangirl just a few weeks ago.
Lance decided to walk to his favorite coffee shop one chilly afternoon. He woke up really late and was immediately craving something sweet yet bitter. And since he lives with most of his family, running out of coffee five days after buying a brand new pack of it is very common, especially when no one wants to buy more for whatever reason.
So there Lance was, walking down the street. Hands tucked into his blue lion hoodie (thanks to all the merch the fans of voltron have made over the years), making his way to the closest coffee shop near his home. And then he hears the high pitched squeal of a girl at least 10 feet away from him. Then 9 feet.. then 6.. then 4 because she’s literally running at him with the speed of a hundred cheetahs chasing a gazelle until she’s right there, face to face with Lance.
“Oh my god!!” She yelled, jumping up and down like some 5 year old girl getting a puppy. She was about 5’7, short brown hair and huge blue eyes that almost resembled Lance’s. She wore this giant faux fur coat and beanie to match, and her phone was IN LANCE’S FACE.
She was all over him and it was attracting others to stare their way. Lance tried to calm her down by smiling and using a little of his charm but it was just making the girl fangirl even more. So he took a picture with her to be on his way before the coffee shop got too busy. But she wouldn’t back off. Apparently she wasn’t satisfied with the picture, something about how her eyes were closed? Or how blurry it came out? Lance couldn't remember, he just wanted his coffee.
The girl kept hounding him and following him, demanding that he retake the picture with her. Lance let her down easy, saying how he needed to be someplace important and that he was running late. The girl kept pushing him. Following his every move, right on his heels. Begging, pleading with him to take more pictures because she ‘needed them,’ whatever that meant. Lance tried his hardest to be nice and polite because as a former paladin of voltron and as one of seven someone’s who have saved the entire universe, his image is everything. Without him or his former paladins, there would probably be no earth. So he stopped in his tracks and took a better picture with the girl.
He felt good to see her happy because of something that he had done. Plus he looked really good in that picture, who knew the earth’s natural lighting at 1pm could make his skin look so smooth? Once he gave his approval of the better pic, he was on his way again, hoping that the line to the coffee shop wasn’t even longer now. As he started to fast walk down the busy sidewalk, something yanked him back by the neck and he came crashing down. Literally. He fell right back on his ass and when he looked up, this same crazy girl was looming over him like a mad woman. With his blue hand-knit wool scarf dangling from her grabby hands. The anger that had been simmering in Lance’s gut was at a full blown boil and he was just about ready to explode. So.. he kinda did..
Long and embarrassing story short, Lance yelled at her. He snatched his blue scarf out of her hands so fast, it scared her, and as he rubbed his most likely bruised tailbone, he got in her face and began blaming her for the world's most horrible fan interaction. He was so angry, that he balled his fists, stomped his foot and had veins protruding out of his neck and forehead. He called her names and most likely spit in her face, but he didn’t care. And when he was done, he took a step back and examined the girl in front of him. She was folded in on herself, holding her arms close to her body as her bottom lip quivered and fat, giant tears rolled down her cheeks. She looked so.. mortified. And actually.. scared of him. Like if Lance were to say anything or move a muscle, she’d flinch.
Seconds later, Lance’s face softened into something regretful and he went out to reach for her, to apologize. But, like he knew she would, she flinched. And then hurried away like he was a mad man. All the while crying and clutching her phone to her chest. Lance felt absolutely demolished inside. He tried to go after her but his feet were glued to the cement of the sidewalk. He didn’t even want his coffee anymore.
Thankfully, there were no viral videos or photos or posts about the incident. Lance ended up tracking the girl down a few days later and showered her with all the love he could muster, even taking as many pics as she wanted and liking them on Instagram when she tagged him. But.. something inside him still felt so horrible about the incident. For a moment, Lance had realized that he genuinely hurt that girl for no real reason. He just wanted some coffee but is coffee more important than the people who are thankful and want to show their gratitude for him for everything he did with voltron? If the roles were reversed and he stayed on earth, he would be bending over backwards to let all the paladins know just how thankful he was to live another day on their planet. That girl probably had family, friends, maybe a spouse and kids, and in the midst of that horrible battle 3 years ago, she most likely thought that one of those days would be her last with them.
It broke Lance’s heart thinking about it. He really hurt her. Sure, he made it right and she forgave him, but in that single moment, he actually hurt someone enough to make them cry, to make them run away from him. It was a terrible feeling. It wasn’t Lance. He never wanted that to happen again.
And at the same time.. he.. kinda never wanted to be the savior of earth. Not really.. he just wanted to feel like he had a place in the universe, and to know that he played an important role. That he mattered.
Guess he really matters now..
He sends a long text to Keith with shaky hands.
Message delivered..
The second he walked through the door, his phone rang. It was a three-way call with Hunk and Pidge. Lance pressed the green button to answer and placed the phone to his ear. Immediately, Hunk starts going on and on about how much he misses Lance and when the next time they’ll see each other will be. Lance smiled at his best friend’s inability to ever take a breath between sentences and replied with a warm ‘I miss you too, buddy.’ They got to catching up as Lance ordered his garlic knots and sat down at a private booth near the back of the place. He didn’t want to draw any attention to himself, especially when he got the call from his best friends.
Hunk tells him all the great things that’s been happening at the Garrison and even on the Atlas. He tells him how his restaurant is doing and how his family is doing and how Shay is doing. Pidge catches him up on things with her family, some new inventions she’s been working on, and how being the youngest teacher at the Garrison is going. Lance listens and gives his two cents on everything his friends tell him and honestly, he couldn’t be more happy for them. The way they were able to just get their lives together 3 years after the war is.. incredible. It made him think about everything he’s done since the war ended. Which wasn’t much.. he took over his family’s farm and brought it back to life, he helps out Colleen, Pidge’s mom, with medicine and finding cures to strange space illnesses with plants she has him grow on his farm, and his family’s market wouldn’t be as popular or swarming with business if he didn’t work there. Sad but true. And that’s really it. He hasn’t done much else. Nothing life changing or breathtaking like his friends.
But Hunk and Pidge don’t need to know that. So he simply replies with: “Oh, ya know.. same old, same old,” and hopes it works enough to keep the conversation flowing and follow up questions at bay. It does.
30 minutes into their conversation and Lance is starting to feel a little.. agitated. With the garlic knots consumed and digesting in his stomach, he sits in the booth, alone, listening to his friends go on and on and on about their perfect jobs and their perfect little lives. He gets lost a few times and at one point has literally no idea what they’re talking about. When he tries to ask what or who or even get the slightest details, Pidge lets out a sigh that Lance can’t help but feel like is out of annoyance. Lance sighs back and continues to stay silent because obviously he’s not getting anywhere. Why even bother putting him on a call that Hunk and Pidge could have just had on their own??
Balling his fist, Lance let out a loud, overdramatic sigh. He didn’t care if his friends heard it or how they took it. He was upset. The conversation between his two friends comes to a halt and then awkward silence. Pidge is the first to speak up with a:
“Something you wanna add, Lance?” The annoyance in her voice is very much there and Lance doesn’t miss it. He scoffs loudly and grits his teeth.
“No.” He says, voice deepening in anger.
“Oh really?” Pidge asks, poking the sleeping bear that lies dormant in lance. “Cause it sure sounds like it to me. Why don’t you stop being such a fucking child and tell us what’s bothering you this time??”
Lance damn near growls.
The line has gone quiet now. Hunk’s unsteady breathing is audible but other than that, silence. Lance digs his nails into the skin of his palms and tries to keep the angry tears in his eyes from falling down his cheeks. With a deep shaky breath, he smiles through the pain.
“You know what, Katie,” Lance spits and it makes Hunk gasp. “Fuck YOU and this stupid, shitty attitude you have all the time!”
“Oh, god..” Hunk winces.
“I don’t know what the actual fuck crawled up your ass,” Lance continues, “but I’m sick of it! I've been sick of it for years! I’m sick of keeping my mouth shut and quite frankly, I’m sick of YOU!”
Lance is standing up out of his seat now. His chest heaves up and down as the angry tears have fallen past his face and down his neck. His voice is two octaves deep from anger and the skin of his palm is bloody from how hard he’s digging his nails into it. The place has gone quiet now and Lance can feel multiple pairs of eyes on him. So much for not drawing any attention to himself.
The line is quiet. Then, the sound of a huff of breath. A small laugh.. And then:
“Wow. Nice one, McClain..” Pidge’s voice is small, but so full of something. “Go screw yourself, you asshole.”
The call ends. Whether Pidge or Hunk ended it, is unclear.
Minutes pass, and Lance is still standing in the same place with the phone to his ear. Tears are running down his face, and his Altean marks are buzzing so loud in his ears. His heart is pounding in his ribcage and ice cold sorrow runs through his veins..
He sends a long text to Keith with shaky hands.
Message delivered...
Now, exactly 3 months since that little incident, Lance sits alone in his home. In his childhood bedroom he can’t seem to rearrange because he’s still holding out hope that one day he’ll turn back time and be his child self and get a redo on his life. But hey, it’s better this way. After the whole dilemma with Pidge, Hunk tried to call Lance to help but ended up getting his feelings hurt. Yep. By Lance. Because Lance is a big jerk and can’t stop hurting everyone around him.
So he hasn’t talked to Pidge or Hunk since then. Mostly out of guilt and shame because those two are supposed to be his bestest friends and he hurt them. Nothing he could say or do could make up for his selfish mind and stupid mouth. Lance had this whole plan to go to Shiro about it, to get his advice so Lance could make it all better.
But Pidge being Pidge.. texted the whole thing in their group chat and.. well.. everyone saw it. Shiro, Hunk, Matt, even Keith possibly! It got so bad that Lance’s phone kept going off with alerts from everyone asking what happened and what he said. Curtis tried calling him and left a few messages. Shiro left him a long voicemail. And of course the word traveled so fast that it reached New Altea and Coran got involved. Which caused Romelle to be involved, too. She gossiped to Acxa, who told her girlfriend, who happens to be Lance’s sister, Veronica. Veronica blabbed to Rachel, who blabbed to Marco, who blabbed to Luis.. who blabbed to Lance’s dad.. WHO BLABBED TO LANCE’S MOM. And boy did she have some interesting words for him in the SEVEN, LONG voicemails asking exactly ‘what happened’and ‘why The Holt siblings were so angry with him.’
Everything escalated so fast. Lance can’t even remember what he said. Or why he said it. Since the war ended, it’s been so hard on him. Sure, it’s been hard on everyone, but for Lance it’s been different. Everyone looks up to him for some reason and expects him to do so good and be the hero they all think he is, when in reality? He was just a leg…
Exactly what did he gain from being a paladin of voltron anyway?? Get banged up and bruised almost everyday he was out there? Have people on his case, constantly reminding him how unimportant he was to the team? Pointing out all of his flaws and mistakes and focusing on those when there’s a million other good things he’s done that towers over all the bad shit?? Sure, he returned home to his family who he literally missed and cried for every single day, but he lost the love of his life in the process.
To put it all out there, Lance didn’t really gain anything. He got to travel through space, which was his dream since he was a little kid, and then space chewed him up and spit him out as some fake hero with PTSD and other trauma that will haunt him for the rest of his pathetic life.
So.. these past 3 months.
Lance has been sitting up in his childhood room.
Wishing he could use the power of Altea or something to turn back time.
And be his younger self.
His innocent self.
His happier self.
Back when he wasn’t so fucked up and had dreams and goals.
Back when everyone was proud of him.
Back to when he didn’t know who Allura was or that she even existed. Back to when Voltron didn’t exist either and everything was fucking fine.
Staring up at his ceiling, Lance counts the glow in the dark stars that he’s had up there since he was six years old. Somehow they’re still glowing and Lance is thankful for that because at 3 in the morning when the world is fast asleep and everything is pitch black, he could use the light.
It comforts him. Reminds him of a simpler, more happier time in his life.
Something sharp digs through Lance’s chest as he stares at those fake neon stars, and it hurts really bad. His breathing begins to quicken, matching the beat of his heart, and a lump finds its way up his throat. Tears pool in the rim of his eyes and spill down the corners, streaming down the sides of his face.
And they don’t stop. The stars get blurrier as Lance’s breathing gets heavier. His body begins to tremble with every hiccup of a sob that pours out of him and he’s crying so hard that his brain throbs in his head.
He curls in on himself in his bed and wraps his arms around his torso, crying uncontrollably into his space themed pillow. His Altean marks begin to buzz and glow and he can’t bring himself to care because all he wants to do is disappear.
Disappear from this game called life.
He types a text to Keith with teary eyes and a quivering bottom lip.
Message.. deleted…
As 3 in the morning turns to 4, a pod lands in the grass just a couple yards away from Lance’s farm. Boot covered feet step out of said pod and touch the wet grass waiting for them. It’s still dark out and the only light visible are the fireflies that buzz around a pair of cowboy booted feet. Those booted feet begin to walk, carrying a tall, broad, raven haired stranger up a hill to Lance’s home. The frogs and crickets seem to grow louder as the stranger in black cowboy boots makes their way to the front porch and pulls back the creaky screen door to a cold, locked doorknob. A set of keys are pulled out and a specific blue key is pushed inside the lock, turning and unlocking the door. The stranger walks in and is instantly met.. with..
Crying??
“H-Hello??” The stranger calls out. “Lance?”
The crying stops.
It’s dead quiet..
The door shuts on its own and the echo around the house is eery.
Light footsteps descend the stairs and before they know it, the stranger is being tackled to the ground in a bear hug.
“Ah-! Lance!?” They yell as the duffel bag from their hand falls to the ground.
“Keith!!” Lance yells out, voice rasped from endless crying.
Keith can immediately hear it and wraps his arms around Lance so tight, holding him close. His eyes glow yellow, something that usually happens out of fear, anger, or protectiveness, and his lips protrude to make way for his double set of fangs that are ready to bite any and everyone.
“Lance!” Keith tries to sit up but is pinned to the ground with all of Lance’s dead body weight. “Lance, honey, are you hurt? What’s wrong??”
A hand through curly brown locks and Lance’s crying dies down. He snuggles his face into Keith’s neck and hiccups through a response. Something too incoherent for Keith to make out, but he feels it has something to do with why he was told to go home ASAP.
A few weeks ago, Keith was contacted by Acxa via video chat. They talked and caught up for a few minutes before Acxa told Keith the real reason for her call. She explained that Veronica was having a tough time reaching out to Lance and that he might be in some kind of trouble. Not knowing the full extent of the story, Acxa only told Keith what she heard from Veronica and others. Fearing the worst, Keith packed up his shit and set a course for Earth as fast as he could.
Unfortunately, there were some setbacks on his way over where he had to make a few stops to tend to aliens in need because after all, that’s still his job as a blade member, but when that got finished, Keith hightailed it over. His Galra instincts wouldn't allow him to stay away for much longer anyway and having accepted his galra side a long time ago, it would have been best for everyone to let him go home.
Keith now lays in Lance’s bed, every inch of Lance’s body wrapped up around him like a snake. Keith strokes Lance’s hair soothingly and holds him close to his chest, right over his beating heart. A deep, soothing purr emits itself from Keith’s body and calms Lance’s nerves right down to the bone. Keith knows how much Lance adoreshis Galran features and at this point, Keith would do absolutely anything for Lance to feel better.
They talked about everything that happened and are now in the cuddle stage. Lance has his eyes shut, listening to Keith purr just for him. Long limbs wrapped around every inch of his boyfriend while Keith’s long nails scratch at his scalp, life is so good.
Life is so good with Keith around.
“So,” Keith says, voice as calm as ever. “What exactly did Pidge say?”
“Oh,” Lance answers, his voice quiet as a mouse. “You didn’t see the messages in the group chat?”
“No.” Keith shrugs, laying his cheek against Lance’s forehead. “Been kinda busy.. And I actually don’t understand how a group chat works.”
That rises a chuckle out of Lance as he sits up a bit to reach for his phone on the bedside dresser.
“Idiot,” he whispers with a small smile on his face and it makes Keith light up, his purring becoming a bit louder.
Lance lays back on Keith’s chest as he scrolls through the messages on his phone. When he finds the message from Pidge, Lance clears his scratchy throat and sniffs.
“From Pidgeotto,” he starts, looking at Pidge’s name in their ✨Paladudes✨ group chat. “Just an FYI lance is a.. a total fucking jackass and I am no longer friends with him..”
Keith immediately frowns at that.
Lance continues. “He can suck my big toe for all I care. I’m done with him. Have fun being a lonely loser @LanceyPants.”
“What the fuck?” Keith says, eyes glowing yellow in the dark room. “Why would she say that!?”
Lance shakes his head, tears forming in his eyes again. “Because she was right. I am a jackass..”
“Lance, no!” Keith sits up, bringing Lance with him. They sit side by side as Lance holds himself and looks down at his space blanket. He shrugs once and sniffs.
“Keith, stop,” he says, wiping a tear from his eye. “Look, I said some very hurtful things to her and she lashed out in a perfectly normal way..”
“Normal!?” Keith scoffs, grabbing Lance’s phone and rereading the message again. “Jackass? Loser?? Come on, Lance, she’s completely bullying you and you know it!”
Lance whips around with an angry expression on his face “Because I deserve it!”
The room grows quiet. Keith takes a deep breath and reaches over to grab Lance’s shoulders.
“Calm.” He says, taking a deep breath for Lance to mimic. Lance takes a deep breath with him and lets it out. Keith begins to purr again and it calms Lance even more.
“I.. Sorry..”
Keith nods. He reaches up to cup Lance’s cheek and rubs his thumb across Lance’s tear stained eye.
“You know I would never hurt anyone on purpose..” Lance sniffs. “That’s not who I am. I’m just.. I’m tired of being this symbol of everything strong and good and brave.”
“Mhm,” Keith rubs Lance’s back, leaning in closer to him to nuzzle his forehead. Lance nuzzles back and Keith’s purrs.
“I keep.. I keep hurting everyone I care about..” Lance whispers in a voice so low and fragile, it nearly shatters Keith’s heart.
“That’s not true.” Keith pulls back a little to look into Lance’s teary blue eyes. “Lance, you are the most incredible, selfless, honest person I’ve ever known. You are strong and good and brave even if you don’t mean to be. Or want to be.”
Lance pulls away and stares at his hands. Keith keeps his eyes focused on Lance.
“I know you think you hurt that fangirl from a few months ago.” Keith continues. “Or Pidge. Or Hunk. Or your parents or friend or family or whoever, but you could never hurt anyone.”
“Yeah, right,” Lance shakes his head. “I already did. I hurt everyone.”
“And even if that’s true,” Keith grabs Lance’s hands in his own, “which it’s not, you’re not doing it on purpose. You have a right to your own feelings! And you have a right to speak your mind.”
“And what if that hurts people??” Lance looks up and meets teary eyes to indigo ones. “What if I accidentally hurt my mama or my sisters or brothers, or nieces and nephews because I can’t be who they want me to be, who they think I am!?”
“Lance,” Keith shakes his head.
“What if I hurt you???” Lance’s eyes go wide. He looks Keith up and down and exhales a panicked breath. “God, Keith.. wh-what if I hurt you??”
“Oh, Lancey,” Keith sighs that lovey-dovey sigh where his eyes go all big and black like a cat’s, and the purr in his chest gets louder. “You’ve never hurt me. Ever.”
Lance stares into Keith’s eyes like they’re his lifeline.
“B-but.. but what if-?”
“No more what if’s!” Keith cuts Lance off by covering his mouth with his hand. “Listen to me, Lance. Are you listening??”
Lance nods repeatedly.
“Good,” Keith smiles, all crooked and cute and beautiful. “The only person you ever need to worry about hurting is yourself.”
And there it is. The one thing Lance has been dying to hear without knowing he’d been dying to hear it. It’s like a breath of fresh air, or cool rain on a hot and sweaty day. The permission he needed but didn’t really need. He has a right to care about himself and put himself first but whenever he tries, the guilt eats him alive. Why should he care about himself when he has to care more about others???
No. That’s not the case. It’s never been the case.
“You’ve gotta stop doing this to yourself,” Keith finishes, stroking the endless sea of tears that are falling from Lance’s eyes. He strokes Lance’s glowing Altean marks and leans forward to kiss one softly. Lance trembles slightly, closing his eyes to bask in the moment.
“I’m sure Pidge has gotten over it by now,” Keith reassures. “She just has too much pride to make the first more and apologize. You know how she is.”
“Y-Yeah,” Lance hiccups, nodding.
“And Hunk?” Keith scoffs. “I bet your mailbox is full of letters from him, explaining how sorry he is and hoping you’re doing alright. You know if he can’t reach you from your phone, he has other ways.”
That makes Lance smile.
“There’s probably cookies on the way right now.” He looks into Keith’s eyes, exhaling a small laugh.
“Oh, yeah,” Keith agrees, laughing that angelic laugh and showing off his perfect pearly fangs. Lance’s heart skips a fucking beat.
“And your fangirl?” Keith’s purring stops. “Well, she never should have gotten all up in your space that’s for sure. You had every right to punch her.”
“Keith!” Lance squeaks, face contorting into shock and confusion. “I-I didn’t punch her!”
“Really?” Confusion etches itself all over Keith’s features and he puts a finger to his chin. “I could have sworn I read that in your text.”
“No way, man!” Lance defends, waving his arms around. “Why would I ever in my life-!” He stops mid sentence to see the shit-eating grin plastered on Keith’s face.
“Just kiddin, lil lady,” Keith says in his best southern accent, smiling big and wide.
Lance bursts out into a fit of laughter, hitting Keith’s chest and arms and back. Keith shields himself and laughs, grabbing Lance’s arms and bringing him down onto the mattress. They fall back with Keith looming over Lance, his long raven hair surrounding their faces.
Lance stares up into those beautiful, indigo eyes and sniffs, unable to look away. He reaches up and cups Keith’s face, rubbing his thumb over Keith’s Galran stripe.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?” Keith asks in his softest voice, eyes roaming from Lance’s teary blue eyes to his luscious lips.
“Yes,” Lance nods, not even bothering to blink because if he does, he’ll miss Keith’s everything.
“Don’t let anyone get you down, my sweetheart.” Keith whispers, leaning in closer. “Ever.”
Lance nods.
“And if they do,” Keith’s face turns serious, indigo eyes going dark. “I’ll bite their throats out and hand them to you on a silver platter.”
“Keith,” Lance exhales, going red in the face and ears. “Holy shit, you can’t just say things l-like that.”
Keith’s hard demeanor falls as he giggles and leans in close. Before they close the gap between their lips, Lance whispers, “And hey. I thought pet names were my thing?”
And Keith kisses him to shut him up.
They kiss like they haven’t seen each other in years and it’s the greatest Lance has ever felt. Keith kisses like he’s starving for it, craving it so much more than air and it’s hot and powerful and so, so damn good.
Lance wraps his arms and legs around Keith’s body and kisses him back with fervor. He allows Keith to make him feel better, and kisses his pain away. Keith pulls away slowly, licking into Lance’s mouth before he does so. Lance lets out a small groan and smiles before he opens his eyes.
“I love you,” he whispers, tucking some hair behind Keith’s ear.
“I love you, more,” Keith whispers back, settling himself between Lance’s legs. “Feeling any better?”
“A little,” Lance looks away, sniffling a little. His eyes focus back to Keith’s and a small smile appears on his kiss swollen lips. “But I know a great way you can make me feel all the way better.”
“Oh, yeah,” Keith smirks, burying his face into Lance neck to start kissing slowly. “And what’s that?”
Lance giggles like a little kid, running his hands up and down Keith’s sides. When Keith pulls back, he trails his kisses up the side of Lance’s face and stops at his Altean mark.
“Make love to me,” Lance whispers, rubbing his nose against Keith’s. “Touch me all over and hold me until the sun comes up and just.. love me. Please..”
Keith’s face softens into something full of love and adoration. He moves forward to peck Lance’s lips, then his chin, and then his other Altean mark.
“Anything you want, my sweet..” he kisses Lance’s cheek. “Beautiful..” he kisses Lance’s jaw. “Amazing.. wonderful..”
“Alright, enough!” Lance laughs, slapping Keith in the back. His cheeks are on fire as he closes his eyes when Keith starts nibbling on his neck with his fangs. A chill runs down Lance’s spine and tingles to his toes, making them curl.
Keith sits up one last time and stares at Lance like he’s the world.
“I’ll take good care of you, baby.” He says with the utmost truth in his sultry voice. “I promise. We’re in this together.”
“Yeah,” Lance nods, letting his tears fall down his face and glowing Altean marks. “Together.”
And as Keith kisses Lance so lovingly, Lance can’t help but be glad that he can’t turn back time to be his younger self. Because with Keith around, he feels all the happiness in the whole world just like he did when he was young.
-END-
(send me a klangst prompt)
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drabbles-mc ¡ 4 years ago
Text
Family Dinner
Kozik x F!Reader (ft. Dad!Tig Trager)
Request by Anon: Can I request a sort of funny Kozik x female reader (who is Tig's badass daughter), where Tig has no idea that they're a thing until Gemma holds a dinner, and someone goes to offer reader a food they can't have due to a dairy intolerance, and Kozik informs them that she can't have it, and Tig pretty much interrogates him and is like, "how do you know that"? Has a big ol' moment of feeling betrayed and being mad as hell, but ultimately comes around to the idea.
Warnings: language, alcohol
Word Count: 2k
A/N: This was a fun one! I did switch up the reveal a little bit but not too much. I haven’t written a heck of a lot for Tig as a character and having him play the protective dad role in this was really enjoyable to write. Hope you enjoy! xo
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You were shimmying back into your jeans, trying to pretend that you didn’t notice the way that his eyes were glued to you. You looked over as you fastened the button on them, “You going to Gemma’s later?”
He looked surprised at the question, “The dinner thing?” when you nodded in response, he sat upright, running his hand through his hair, “Am I…am I even invited?”
You laughed, nodding, “It’s a club thing. Of course you’re invited.”
“Yea but no one ever—”
“Does Gemma seem like the kind of woman who is gonna make a damn phone tree and call everyone she wants there?” you chuckled and shook your head, “Just come. It’s always a good time. Good food, too.”
You could see it on his face that he was trying to weigh out the pros and cons of it. Since he transferred into Samcro, things had gone smoothly for him for the most part. Pretty much everyone in the club was glad to have him back around again. However, the one person that wasn’t thrilled about his return, was the person that you knew he was worrying the most about.
“It’s not like you two are going to be alone in a room together,” you told him as you pulled your shirt down over your head, “We’re all gonna be there.”
“You think he won’t jump the table and try to beat the shit out of me in front of everyone?”
You laughed, knowing that that is exactly the kind of thing your father would do, “Just don’t say anything to piss him off.”
“Want me to be silent for the whole dinner, then?”
You smiled, shaking your head, “Give him a little credit, Koz. He’s better than he was when you first turned back up.”
“Pretty low fuckin’ bar.”
You walked back over to his bed, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, “Progress is progress,” you stroked your thumb along his cheek, “I’ll see you tonight?”
He sighed, giving in only because it was you, “Yea,” he rested his hand over yours, “I’ll be there.”
You smiled, pressing your forehead against his, “Thank you.”
You leaned in to give him one last quick peck on the lips before leaving, but he grabbed you and pulled you close, not letting you pull away. You laughed as you leaned into the kiss, bracing yourself on his shoulders.
When he finally let you go, he was smiling up at you, “Since I won’t be able to do that later.”
You chuckled, shaking your head as you walked towards his bedroom door, “You could, but it’d be the last time you ever did.”
You left Kozik’s place, making your way back to the home that you were currently sharing with your father. You’d been looking for a place of your own, but nothing seemed to be quite the right fit. At this point, you figured you would probably just end up moving in with Kozik before too much longer. There were a few conversations that needed to happen before that, though, and you weren’t sure if you were quite ready to have them yet.
“Dad, you home?” you’d seen his bike in the driveway but the house was eerily quiet when you walked in.
“Yea,” he walked out of the bathroom, half of his face still splattered with shaving cream, “Everything okay?”
You laughed as you took in the way he looked, giving him a nod, “Yea, all good. Was just quiet in here. But now I see that you were very…focused.”
“It’s like sculpting The David, alright? Takes a lot of concentration.”
You rolled your eyes with a smile, “Right. Something like that. Anyway, we still going to Gemma’s thing later?”
“Yea. I’m not getting in trouble for missing it.”
You laughed, “Figures.”
Surprisingly, Tig let you drive the both of you to Gemma’s place. Usually when you offered to drive it was met with a myriad of comments about how your driving would get the both of you killed. For some reason, though, he was feeling extra agreeable. You didn’t want to ruin it so you swiped the keys immediately and went out to the car.
When you rolled into the driveway, there were already a decent number of bikes parked out front. Your heart sped up a little bit when you spotted Kozik’s in the midst of them. You weren’t the only one who noticed, though. You heard Tig muttering something under his breath about how you can’t believe that someone invited him.
“He’s part of the club too, you know, Dad,” you said, a hint of defensiveness in your voice.
“Doesn’t mean that I gotta like him,” he responded as he stepped out of the car.
You sighed, getting out and shutting the door behind you, “Make everyone’s lives a whole lot easier if you did.”
He looked at you, eyes narrowed slightly, “Since when do you care?”
You shrugged, trying to play it off, “The less drama at family dinners, the better.”
It must’ve been a good enough excuse, because he let the topic drop. The two of you walked inside, welcomed by the sounds of a few different conversations happening throughout the house, and the smell of whatever Gemma was cooking wafting over from the kitchen. It really did feel like coming home.
You made your way around, saying hello and giving everyone a hug in greeting. You tried not to let Kozik’s embrace linger, but you had to admit that it was hard to pull away. It was getting harder and harder to keep things on the down-low with you two. You were needy and Kozik wasn’t someone that you would ever describe as particularly discreet.
“You need help with anything, Gemma?” you were scanning over everything that she had going on top of the stove and in the oven.
She took a deep breath, hands on her hips as she looked around the kitchen, “I don’t think so, sweetheart. Think we’ve got it all under control in here,” she nodded towards the cupboards, “Maybe get some plates out for me?”
You nodded, “Sure thing.”
While you were bringing the plates to the table, you could hear the murmur of conversations out in the living room. There was laughter and the clattering of beer bottles as the guys got into whatever shenanigans they had time for before the food was done. It’d been a while since everyone got together at Gemma’s, and you had to admit that it was needed.
You looked back into the kitchen and saw Kozik staring at you. You smiled, shaking your head slightly at him as you tried not to draw too much attention to it. The last thing you wanted to do was air out all of your business in the middle of Gemma’s house.
He was leaning back against the counter, watching as you gathered up silverware for the table as well. He opened his mouth to make a flirty remark, but immediately backpedaled when Tig walked into the room. He tore his eyes off of you, trying to look anywhere else.
When you came back from the table the second time, you saw that Gemma had stepped out of the kitchen. With a devious smile on your face, you grabbed a spoon out of the drawer and opened one of the pots on the stove. Gemma ran a tight ship, and that meant no sneaking any food before dinner. But what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.
You assumed no one was watching you, Tig had his head in the fridge looking for a fresh beer bottle. You scooped a spoonful of whatever was filling the kitchen with a mouth-watering aroma. You never thought to ask Gemma what anything was—it was always good.
You blew on it, and just as you were about to take a bite Kozik spoke up, resting his hand on your arm to signal you to stop, “I wouldn’t if I were you.”
You chuckled, “If you don’t snitch, Gemma won’t even know.”
He laughed, shaking his head, “It’s not that. Although…that’s another really good reason to not sneak it.”
“Why can’t I have it? Saving more for yourself?” you smiled.
His grin was contagious, “That’s a bonus, but no,” he gently took the spoon from your hands, “It’s got diary in it. It’ll make you sick.”
You groaned, hating that you were deprived of good things, “Fuck. Fine. Thanks for saving my stomach I guess.”
He couldn’t help but to laugh, “You’re welcome I guess.”
The two of you were laughing but you both stopped short when you saw the way that Tig was glaring at you, beer bottle gripped tight in his hand. His glance shifted from you over to Kozik, eyes boring into the man next to you.
“How’d you know that?”
He tried to be nonchalant about it, not wanting to pour fuel on the fire that was already set between the two of them, “Know what?”
Tig nodded towards the pot on the stove, “That that shit makes her sick.”
He’d never been good at coming up with lies on the spot, “She just, uh, I dunno. Must’ve mentioned it at some point.”
It wasn’t a convincing statement. And Tig had noticed how close the two of you stood, the way that you looked at each other. He wasn’t that oblivious. He wasn’t sure who he was more frustrated with in the moment. It was easier to be mad at Kozik, because he was always mad at him. But he couldn’t believe that you wouldn’t tell him something like this. Despite his own personal feelings, he was still your father and wanted to know what was going on with you.
Tig stepped forward, getting dangerously close to Kozik’s face, “You sleepin’ with my daughter?”
You huffed, trying to insert yourself between the two of them, “Dad, come on. We’re not doing this here.”
His eyes diverted back to you, “You didn’t think you should mention this to me at some point? How long has this shit been going on?”
You rolled your eyes, trying to keep things as level as possible, “I wanted to mention it, but for some reason I thought that it might not go over well.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, fingertips rapping against the neck of his beer bottle. He knew that you had a point—he didn’t exactly make himself the easiest person to talk to when it came to you dating in general, let alone dating Kozik. But still.
“Maybe that’s true,” he finally conceded.
You laughed, shaking your head. Your stubbornness was a genetic trait, “Yea. Maybe.”
His eyes searched your face for any hint of hesitation or discomfort, “He good to you?”
You nodded, not even needing a moment to think about the answer, “Of course.”
Tig gave you a slight nod before gently moving you to the side, once more getting too close for comfort to Kozik’s face, “You hurt her, it’ll be the last thing you ever fucking do. Got it?”
He nodded, wanting to force words out but not quite sure what to say, “Got it.”
“Good,” he stepped away, walking back towards the living room where the rest of the club was sitting.
You wanted to stay and enjoy the relief of not having to hide anymore, but you couldn’t. You pressed a quick kiss to Kozik’s lips before going to catch up with your dad, pulling him aside, “Hey. Thank you for, you know, not murdering him in the middle of Gemma’s kitchen.”
“The night isn’t over. There’s still time for that.”
You laughed, “Stop. He’s a good guy, Dad. I know you don’t wanna see it but—”
He cut you off, “You don’t gotta explain yourself to me. But if he fucks up I swear to god—”
“You’ll be the first to know. Promise,” you held your pinky out.
He locked his finger with yours, a smile on his face, “Good.”
You smiled, “I love you.”
He pulled you in for a hug, “I love you too.”
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cjsinkythoughts ¡ 4 years ago
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Birthday Memories
Word Count: 1591
Warnings: A little angst, a bit of fluff, some recovery Bucky
Summary: Bucky figures out why birthdays are so important.
A/N: This is just a little something I put together for one of my favorite characters of all time to celebrate his birthday. It hasn’t been beta’d and I wasn’t planning on writing it, but my finger slipped. Oops. 😇
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He didn’t tell anyone. 
He didn’t want them to know. He didn’t want to be reminded that his life was taken away. He didn’t want to be reminded that he was over a century old. 
He didn’t want to remember that the last birthday he ever had was in the midst of a war he never wanted, among friends who became brothers, and whom he’d never see again. 
He didn’t want to remember the “party” he had with his family. How his sisters would give him something meaningful of theirs since they didn’t have money, usually a stuffie or a toy. How his mother would stay up all night decorating their small apartment with everything they could afford - streamers and a couple balloons, usually. How his father would work overtime to make him something at the shop; a small wagon he got for his eighth birthday, a wooden gun for his tenth, and a new baseball bat for his thirteenth after he broke the one he had for years. How his parents would scrape and save all year so that he could have that stupid chocolate brownie cake that he loved so much, but was extremely expensive, form the bakery down the street.
He didn’t want to remember how Sarah Rogers - one of the greatest women he’d ever met, a second mother to him - always came over early, dragging little Stevie along, to make those delicious blueberry pancakes she concocted, even though she was busy enough without stressing over him and his birthday breakfast. Even though she always had a new hat she made him every year and didn’t need to make food with a hard to come by fruit. Even though she was alone with her own sick son to worry about.
And Steve. He didn’t want to remember how he always stayed over for the night. How they would talk for hours about their dreams and aspirations. About where they were going to be by the time the next birthday hit. The blonde used to say that his birthday present from him was not having to bail him out of any fights. He always kept that promise; no fighting on Buck’s birthday. It wasn’t the only thing he got from his best pal, though. Steve always kept a sketchbook - a journal of sorts - illustrating their adventures throughout the year, starting the day after Bucky’s birthday when they always went to Coney Island, and ending on his birthday, whether it be a sketch of Bucky blowing out candles, or a drawing of the stars they looked at while talking later in the night.
He didn’t want to remember, because it hurt to do so.
Sometimes he wished he never remembered. It was a cruel thing. A life that he could never go back to. One that he wasn’t ready to leave, no matter how many times he told himself he was while sitting in muddy ditches with bullets flying over head.
Sometimes, on his bad days, he wished the experiments didn’t work. That Steve never came. That he was never “rescued” by that Soviet soldier. That he never survived the fall.
It just so happened that his birthday was one of those bad days.
He missed his life more than he let on. He missed his sisters. He missed his ma. He missed his pa. He missed when it was only him and tiny Stevie against the world. When they could do whatever they wanted, curious and innocent, exploring the big wide world as they knew it.
Turns out, the world is a lot bigger, and a lot scarier, than they thought.
He missed it, and he didn’t want to remember because it hurt, so he didn’t tell anyone, and he didn’t want anyone to find out. He stayed in his room all day, until he got too hungry to ignore around dinner time.
So he walked into the common room of the newly built Compound.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”
He froze as confetti was shot out of those little hand-held cannons, balloons were dropped from the ceiling, and party horns were blown. His team - his friends and family, he had to remind himself - were beaming at him with party hats on their heads, frosting and flour on some of their cheeks. A banner reading, “HAPPY 107th BIRTHDAY, CYBORG!’ was hung up, no doubt courtesy of a certain birdbrain, along with streamers that looked like they were just thrown randomly.
He blinked, trying to process what was happening, before Sam had an arm over his shoulders, dragging him over to the table and sitting him down. Wanda set a plate of blueberry pancakes in front of him as Tony blasted music from the speakers overhead. A pile of gifts sat at the other end of the room, and the island counter was filled with all kinds of treats.
The team gathered around, laughing and teasing while eating the breakfast dinner that Bucky swore came straight from the 1920’s. Once they were done, a familiar chocolate brownie cake was placed in front of him, a gazillion candles on it, which he blew out in one breath to spite Sam, who said he couldn’t do it. Turns out, however, they were trick candles. Bucky rolled his eyes when Tony, Sam, Clint, and Pietro started laughing way too hard, but he couldn’t fight the small smile on his face.
He had yet to say more than a few words by the time they were done with the food and opening presents. He had gotten more books, a telescope, new boxing gloves, a teddy bear, a newsboy cap like the ones they used to have, and a wooden baseball bat along with a new glove (among other things). Tony even booked Coney Island the next day for the team to have it all to themselves. 
It was too much; his brain was still processing all that had happened so suddenly in the past hour or two.
They knew. About everything. They knew about his birthday. They knew about the blueberry pancakes. They knew about the brownie cake. They knew about the hat and the baseball bat and Coney Island. They knew it all.
He didn’t have to question how. He looked up from the bear in his hands when something was placed in front of him. He met the ocean blue eyes of his best pal, and instantly knew what he’d done. How could anyone else know? How else could Wanda make blueberry pancakes that tasted just like Ma Sarah’s? How else would they find a hat that looked just like the last one she gave him when he turned 19 in 1936? How else would they know he, one of the most deadly assassins in the world, would want a teddy bear? How else would they know how much the silly decorations and the simple brownie cake meant to him?
Steve gave him that mischievous smile that never ceased to make Bucky chuckle, pushing the book he set on the table in front of him closer. “It’s a little more than a year…”
His icy blue gaze fell to the table, jaw clenching as he realized what it was. A sketchbook. Bigger, better quality than the ones he used to get, but that was to be expected. It was still torn up a little bit, the edges fading, the pages separating.
With shaky hands, he tugged the book closer and flipped through the pages. The Potomac River in DC. His little apartment in Bucharest. The airport in Germany. The Citadel in Wakanda. His hut in Wakanda. Him with his goats. Him and his new arm. Him and the team this past Thanksgiving when everyone came back. Him ice skating at Rockefeller Center during Christmas. New Years. Valentine’s Day. Snow days. Training. Watching movies. Playing games. 
The very last couple pages were something he wasn’t expecting though; his family, new and old. Headshots of his smiling parents and sisters and Ma Sarah. The Commandos, laughing despite dirt on their cheeks and tears in their clothes. The Avengers doing signature poses with smirks and winks and cheeky grins. All perfectly drawn, safe in charcoal and ink, hidden protectively within the worn out sketchbooks covers.
“They’d want you to celebrate. So…happy birthday, jerk.”
Bucky’s eyes, prickling with unshed tears, making his vision slightly blurry, wandered up from the pages of black and white to the team, all smiling at him, before landing on Steve.
So maybe he missed the past. And maybe it hurt to remember. But he had Stevie with him, and he had his new team - his new family. And the blonde, as much as it hurt to admit it, was right. His old family would want him to celebrate. To remember them and, instead of getting upset and angry at the world for what it took away from him, would want them to cherish the memories he has. To be glad for what the world gave to him.
A few tears slipped down the curves of his cheeks, but he didn’t mind. They weren’t out of frustration and sorrow. They were good tears. Relieved tears.
“Thanks, punk.”
Maybe birthdays shouldn’t be about holding onto the past and wishing you were back. Maybe they’re about letting go and celebrating everything you’ve accomplished, how you’ve grown. Maybe they’re about being grateful for the people you’ve met, the places you’ve been, and where you end up.
And James Buchanan Barnes was glad to be who he was. A son, a brother, a friend, a teammate, a comrade…a hero.
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