#i wanted to do a simple “shot” and focus on the colors and stuff

[loopscereal]

happy birthday townnnnnn he is eating lion lickers from steven universe...

[chaos0pikachu]

Cinematography?? In MY BL??? Not as likely as you think.

TLDR: it's a joke!!! but also legit sometimes I see "cinematography in bl" and it's just some basic pictures with mid-tone lighting and blue t-shirts. Let's talk film terms like: aperture, panning, tilting, and movement in film so we can see what goes into cinematography (with sources!). Also if I name a show you like as "boring cinematography" don't send me hate mail I'll laugh

(examples used: Our Skyy2 vs kinnporsche, 2gether vs semantic error, 1000 Stars vs The Sign)

If I name a show you like in this post as "bad cinematography" be chill about it, like, I ain't saying you can't like it, I'm just talking about techniques here not personal likability or overall show quality. I like badly filmed shit too say hello to my collection of Friday the 13th Blue Rays we're just here to talk techniques and like, educational stuff okay?

So the straight (heh) textbook definition of "cinematography" is: the art of making motion pictures. Which, frankly, tells you nothing. Like it's not wrong~~ but it's not informative either. Cinematography covers a lot of what we, the audience, visually see on screen:

"Cinematography is the art of photography and visual storytelling in a motion picture or television show. Cinematography comprises all on-screen visual elements, including lighting, framing, composition, camera motion, camera angles, film selection, lens choices, depth of field, zoom, focus, color, exposure, and filtration." (source)

So let's talk movement in film.

So when I talk about movement, what do I mean? I mean the way the camera, the characters, and the environment moves within a frame.

This video on Akira Kurosawa's usage of movement in a scene is brilliant:

Something as simple as having rain or fire in the background of a shot can enhance the emotions of a scene vastly. it gives the scene depth - literal depth, not narrative depth - that would otherwise be missing.

The way the camera moves and transitions leading the viewers eye back and forth makes what you're watching more engaging. You aren't consuming these scenes, you are engaging with them. They are apart of the story itself, giving the environment life and texture so the characters within them matter more.

And, look, I get busting out Thee Akira Kurosawa might be unfair, but if we're gonna talk cinematography we can't not talk the importance of movement on film.

To understand good cinematography you have to understand what makes it good and as such what makes bad or mediocre cinematography.

In connection with movement we gotta talk about camera techniques like panning and tilting:

"Camera movements are a fundamental part of video production. They can be a powerful storytelling device, heightening tension, evoking emotions, and bringing the viewer into the action. Without saying a word, camera movements can transform a scene’s entire narrative, and direct audiences’ attention where you want it." (source)

So we have movement of environment, of characters, and we also have movement of the camera itself.

Ok so like, where does the BL come in Pikachu??

I'm getting to that, I'm going to start with a more general example: Our Skyy 2 (Bad Buddy meets 1000 Stars edition) vs Kinnporsche.

Starting at 5:17 we have Pran stranded or whatever, and this shot is like, it's fine. It's boring as hell, but fine. Why is it boring as hell? Well it's flat, it lacks movement, it lacks depth.

When the driver drove off the camera could have panned to follow his movement and then panned back to Pran at a different angle to showcase his isolation. Honestly since the scene starts with a mid close up of Pran, I would have had the camera behind Pran as the driver drove away, and had the camera pan around Pran 360 so we get shots of his environment, and him, while also emphasizing holy shit he's like, fucking stuck in the wilderness. 

In general, there's a big lack of movement in the scene. The camera remains almost entirely static, there's no attempt at zooming in or out, following Pran's movement, or showcasing his environment in any meaningful way. Even when Pran begins walking towards the camera the angle of the framing is still centered, rather than tilted downward or upwards to give us more dimension (non-BL comparison, the Book of Eli starring Denzel Washington does the "walking towards the camera" shots really well).

We get a cut of a medium close up of Pran, with a deeper focus so his environment is blurred out.

I understand the thought process of this shot, we want the audience to focus on Pran, but if the point of the scene is to emphasize he's alone, confused, maybe even a bit anxious at his new circumstances it could've been done better. Take a wider shot from this angle, open up the lens to allow for that background environment to come through and show him isolated. Maybe do a pan above him or tilt the camera up going from his feet up as he nervously ruffles his hair. There's options here.

This just adds more walking to the scene, which we already had. It doesn't enhance or emphasize anything about Pran's emotions as a character.

Anyway the camera continues to follow him and then we get another cut. And it's from the same angle as before, only this time we see a truck coming. The camera remains static, it completely stops moving, and we just wait for the truck to drive into the frame.

This whole sequence of events ends at 5:57 and while not a long sequence I find it frustrating because it's boring. The only way the audience knows that Pran is anxious is via Nanon’s acting, there’s nothing in the filmmaking that enhances or contributes to that feeling.

He’s alone, until he’s not, and that’s all the scene tells us. It leaves the scene lacking any tension as well, because we’re not getting a sense of isolation - how large is this space? How alone is Pran right now? What is the entirety of the environment? 

Contrast this with a similar scene in kinnporsche ep06 where Kinn and Porsche are alone in the mountains. I don't have a video of this specific scene so I have to link the trailer, starting at 1:48 to 1:52, but see how we start mid-close up of Kinn and Porsche, then pan out from above them? This is a better showcasing of just how vast the environment around Kinn and Porsche are.

They're still center frame throughout all of this, the depth of the scene is in mid-focus so nothing is blurred out and you can see the sharpness of the environment.

It also places the audience in the same space as Kinn, who is looking up at the sky while the audience looks down at him. It makes the audience a more active participant in the shot, emphasizes the state of the characters, gives the audience a sense of space & environment, and relies a sense of emotion.

The additional fast zoom out also adds to the scene by adding movement and making it more dynamic.

(my man pran looking like this 🧍)

Both these scenes are pretty short, but they're relaying similar information and one is way more dynamic and effective than the other. Both Pran and Kinn/Porsche are alone in the wildness, but in the latter there's a lack of space, a lack of movement, and a lack dimension. This is mainly a framing issue, so let's talk more about camera movement (panning, & tilting).

Here's a scene from 2gether vs a scene from Semantic Error.

(saw someone say 2gether had a high production value and chepie where??)

This entire scene with Sarawat and Tine is flatly shot. There is nothing in their background so no outward movement is happening, the lighting is even as are the colors, everything is at the same depth, and there's little to no motion in the camera.

The scene with Sarawat pushing Tine into frame. Why doesn't the camera follow Tine's motion of movement so the scene has more momentum? It just stops and the char falls out of frame before walking back into it. Then we get a series of cuts back and forth of close ups on Sarawat and Tine's faces. Back and forth, back and forth.

The editing leaves a ton to be deserved because if the back and forth did a quick pan back and forth with each beat we could build up tension, give the scene some texture, heighten the intensity of the argument. If we're going for something softer we could place them in on better set, or make the characters move themselves - have Sarawat walk away from the argument up those stairs, have the camera follow his movement as Tine chases him continuing the argument - or play with the lighting a bit, pan the camera down or tilt it something!

When Tine kisses Sarawat why doesn't the camera move with him in a more notable way? Why did we have a cut to a close up? And then we're back in a mid close up and more cuts and this editor is killing me!

This scene is 4mins long and the only engaging bit of filmmaking here is when the camera follows Tine when he steps closer to Sarawat putting the latter in the frame at 3:15, the entire scene is 4 minutes long.

I want to compare this scene to this scene in Semantic Error which is also all dialogue and also obviously filmed on a shoestring budget.

So right away the camera work here is smart, it starts off in an establishing shot, evenly lit, of Sang Woo and Jae Young both in the frame. Then we get a mid close up of JY looking down, then a tight close up of JY looking up.

The change in camera angle emphasizes his surprise at seeing SW here as he looks up at SW. The lighting has also changed, it's much brighter now. The camera also begins to move, where it was static before it begins to tilt and shift.

We get a cut to SW, the first one of this scene. JY is seeing SW in a new light for the first time, and as such so is the audience. By starting the scene off in an outward shot with both chars in the frame, they are placed on the same level and the audience doesn't see their expressions up close. So when we're hit with JY's close up of surprise and then SW's close up of his wet hair it holds way more impact. It enhances the feelings of JY's character for the audience.

The lighting behind SW has also changed, it's much brighter, and warmer compared to the cooler tones of light behind JY. The camera also slows, and continues to to tilt and shift. JY's world has literally been shifted on his axis.

We get another cut, this time medium on SW and notice, the camera stops moving for that moment and the light around him dims. It's not as saturated. We're moved out of JY's pov here and back into "regular" framing.

SW tries to make JY leave, we get a close up cut of the cut on JY's arm - hey editing used to display important and new information! - then the camera cuts to SW getting medicine and here's a small but important thing, when he tosses at JY the camera follows his movement. And instead of cutting away, when JY gets up thinking SW is hurt, the camera follows JY's movement back towards SW.

It would have been easy to make a cut there back and forth - like in the 2gether scene did over and over - but following the movement of the characters makes the scene way more interesting visually to watch.

Changing the angles of the camera from a lower angle (where JY is looking up) to a downward angle (where SW is looking down) makes the scene more interesting visually as well and enhances the storybeat of JY looking up at SW in a new light memorized. This contributes to the story as well, as it's JY who catches feelings for SW first so their are literally, on uneven ground until they're not later in the story. The camera is panning, tilting, moving with the characters even given the limited space. The lighting adds to the effectiveness, as do the minimal cuts.

On a technical level, the scene in Semantic Error is just better filmed. In my own opinion, the scene is far more engaging b/c the filmmaking is better, where in 2gether the reliance is almost completely on the actors to sell the scene with little help. And I'm not saying nothing about Bright and Win cause their stans wildin'.

Next, I wanna talk about aperture.

I saw a post that used this word and I didn't understand the context in which they were using it because aperture isn't a style of filmmaking its a camera setting or lens adjustment - it's the rate at which the camera opens and closes letting in light and focus.

"Aperture is the opening of the lens through which light passes. When you hit the shutter release button to take the picture, the camera aperture opens to the predetermined width, letting a specific amount of light through. A large aperture lets more light in, and vice versa. Aperture is calibrated in f/stops, written in numbers like 1.4, 2, 2.8, 4, 5.6, 8, 11 and 16. The larger the number, the narrower the aperture." (source) <- really recommend this article if you want to learn about aperture in film.

A great non-BL example of aperture used for style is One Piece Live Action where cinematographers Nicole Hirsch Whitaker, and Michael Wood love using deep focus aperture in a lot of scenes.

But let's compare The Sign vs 1000 Stars.

So when the scene starts, we're in mid-focus/aperture, everything is of similar sharpness and depth. Nothing is especially blurred out we're getting the full spectrum of Phaya and Tharn's environment.

When the camera switches to close ups of Phaya and Tharn however, we get a deep focus aperture. That's why everything behind them is so blurred out. In a close up of Phaya, even Tharn's face is blurred. The director wants the audience to focus specifically on these characters individually, so we can understand the weight of their dialogue. But when the camera wants us to see the characters as a unit, it cuts, pulls back out of that deep focus and everything is back in mid-focus again.

Here's another thing, it's subtle but it's important.

This scene also combines what we already discussed about movement. At :08 of the scene, in that first mid-shot the camera is actually zooming in closer on Phaya and Tharn. Not dramatically, subtly, but it is there. This is important, because at 3:23 we get another mid-shot of them, pulled out of that deep focus, and the camera begins to zoom out.

The camera also follows the movement of Phaya grabbing Tharn's hands, then pans back up to Phaya's face once again before panning higher into the frame and panning back to their faces and zooming in.

When we move back out of that deep focus, into a mid-shot the camera continues to zoom out on the two characters as they kiss.

I saw someone say that this scene wasn't "filmed like BL kisses" and, eh? Like it isn't filmed in that static style of filmmaking which has dominated BL filmmaking probably due to budgetary reasons. But

The Sign follows a similar filmmaking style as Kinnporsche and Domundi shows do. But also just like, basic filmmaking techniques you'd see in shows of the non-CW/soap variety.

The thing fans are seeing here is film technique (probably partially due to a larger budget). Movement, lens adjustment, panning and titling, lighting and color are all playing a role in this specific scene.

Cinematography baby.

(sidenote the VFX of The Sign is dope as fuck too)

Okay so let's talk Our Skyy 1000 Stars

So this opening scene follows a similar structure to the scene in The Sign: mid focus shot of the two chars, into separate deep focus close ups. It's also a dialogue heavy scene like the one with Phaya and Tharn.

So why does their scene work better on a technical level than this one in Our Skyy 2?

The scene in The Sign combines techniques of aperture, movement, lighting, color and framing to give everything more impact.

In this scene with Phupha and Tian we get a similar editing style as the scene in 2gether: lots of back and forth cuts, very tight close ups, static camera movement. Where as the camera zooms in and out during mid-shots, the camera doesn't move in Our Skyy 2. It remains motionless even though a zoom in as the two characters lay in bed would add a lot to the scene itself.

In the close ups the camera continues to remain static, only changing angles when there's a cut. At 1:22 Phupha moves his arm to wrap around Tian, the camera could have taken a closer shot at his arm, and then followed his movement as he wraps it around Tian. Like how the camera followed Phaya's movement when he holds Tharn's hand.

Instead it's just a flat shot, we see his arm wrap around in a mid-focus above shot. The camera does move to follow Tian a couple times - at 1:50 for example. But overall, the scene is stiff - who sleeps like this frfr - in framing, in movement, in depth.

I want to say that I don't think this scene is bad - like I do the 2gether scene or the earlier scene with Pran - I think it's just, okay~~

And no, for none of these examples did I pick "the worst" shots or whatever. I'm not out to get any specific show, but tried to find comparable scenes and compare and contrast the filmmaking techniques used in both and how effectively they were used.

I want to leave off with this.

There's a lot that goes into cinematography, yes this singular shot of Furiosa is amazing, but what makes the scene amazing?

Pay attention to how the camera moves (panning and tilting), when the camera moves (zooms in and out), the movement of the scene (the hair and sand moving), the lighting (Furiosa from behind is in darkness, her side profile more lit), the depth of the scene itself changing (as she walks away from the group the focus/aperture gets deeper on her, then when she walks out of the frame it grows larger to focus on the characters left behind).

All these little things make up what is "cinematography". The more you learn about the techniques used the more you can notice about film and what makes a scene powerful.

As BL gets more budget we're seeing shows expand their filmmaking catalogue more and more. Which is exciting! If fandom is gonna talk cinematography I think it's helpful to have the vocab to do so, and it's cool to watch a scene and be like "oh I see what they're doing here and why and how".

I mentioned other things that go into cinematography like framing, lighting, color, and there's also editing (which is separate). Idk if I'll make a post about those things cause I'm lazy and this shit takes forever to research and write but who knows~~

Check out other posts in the series:

Film Making? In My BL? - The Sign ep01 Edition | Aspect Ratio in Love for Love's Sake | Cinematography in My BL - Our Skyy2 vs kinnporsche, 2gether vs semantic error, 1000 Stars vs The Sign | How The Sign Uses CGI | Is BL Being Overly Influenced by Modern Western Romance Tropes?

[like these posts? drop me a couple pennies on ko-fi]

[medicalunprofessional]

I just saw that insane Sasha Nein art you did, where he’s smoking and his mom is in it. I have to say that was some of the COOLEST ART I HAVE EVER SEEN ON THIS SITE, EVER. And I saw that you said you draw on your phone?!?! I’m actually begging you to tell me what app you use pLEASE (also I have always wanted to know how to render but I don’t even know how to start is there any in progress shots you can show so I have something to go on ;U; ty)

GYAHHHHH THANKSS YOUI wwhhh… I had written more in response to this but… Tumblr crashed and deleted it so… Im trying to remember all the points i went over haha… But… Yes… I do draw on the phone with my fingers. The key? Ibispaint… Its really good. You just gotta believe in yourself…. Its rlly not that hard :)

But… On rendering, i feel like everyone renders differently… It really depends on yout artstyle… But i will gladly go over my process (again(thanks tumblr)). Ill be using a different piece as an example (the one of sasha? I didnt render that in my normal way. Just kinda Drew Shapes) -

So i always.. sketch it out. Roughly. Get the details down, yes, but this part will pretty much be invisible, so it doesnt have to be perfect. (yees there was gonna be red string but i didnt like it so. Goodbye red strintg.. Sorry boyd) In this piece (and some others) i redid the sketch a few times to get everything placed and sized how i like it…

After this..? I just put in the colors under the sketch. Here, id like to get them relatively like how i want them to be (though sometimes ill just put in a single color and choose the colors WHILE im rendering)… Its Good To Keep Them Messy I Think

And then… I put all the layers into a folder and render it all on a new layer…. Its that simple… Some people will do it on a bunch of layers to keep all the different elements separate, but i feel its confusing and youll get tripped up in all the layers… I simply use one. Sometimes ill make a new layer if im not feeling confident about a detail, but, usually, its just one. The colors i laid down? im simply colorpicking those and making them more defined, usually blockier.. And dont worry! Its easy to move things around, having to repaint some stuff isnt as bad as you think (ESPECIALLY if you dont use lineart. I hate lineart sometimes😌)

And its done after i get alll the details i want in (sometimes, you dont need to detail everything. Focus on whats important! If you like..). Well, the drawing part is, atleast. I usually run it over with some special brushes i made to make it look more scratched up and dirty. Then i do some chromatic abberation shenanigans! And some noise. Then… Its done :)

Though… if there is one thing i must say…… You can wiggle around the hue and saturation a little while rendering it makes it more interesting and flavorful… You can wiggle it around ALOT to make things look holographic…. Oh! and keep it simple… And also desaturating colors a lot combined with the context of other colors around them can do some crazy stuff… I can make orange look like green 🕴️ (Okay that was . More than one thing. And?)

But really..:: Do what YOU want. Its your art :) I cant tell you what to do! Do all of these things. Do none of these things. Just do what YOU want to. Nothing I or ANYONE says dictates what you must do or what is correct in your expressions.

Yay!

[emeraldeyeball]

If may ask, how do you pull off those impressive photo effects in your GT7 Race Photos? I would love to try making some like that some time.

It's a lot more simple than it looks. To summarize it: 1) change background colors, 2) change shutter speed.

For the "blur" effect I usually start with 1/15 Shutter Speed, and 1.4 Aperture, and then make little adjustments. If the car looks a little too blurry when you take the photo, make sure it's far enough away from hitting a wall and make sure you have manual focus on and focused on the car.

For the colors, I usually start with reducing the temperature of the shot (the K value at the top of the effects page) and also setting the color correction more pink. This usually makes the shots have a blue/pink/purple color scheme, which I like, but you can change it for any other ones, it's pretty simple.

I usually up the contrast of the shot. Generally more contrast will mean more hard lines between things like the car and background, and lower contrast will mean the colors fade into each other much more and there's less black space.

If you want to know a little more or have any questions you can dm me anytime, I'm just not at my house atm.

If it helps, I'd recommend mimicking other people's styles to start out, then doing more of your own stuff as you get better at the basic techniques. I've linked a few creators that I've taken a lot of inspiration from who usually do somewhat similar styles to what I do.

[bllsbailey]

How Truth in the News Has Changed

I first began shooting professionally in 1980 as a photographer/reporter for a small weekly in Kansas City, Missouri. Covering the local angle of the U.S. presidential campaigns, I got to shoot a rally for Jesse Jackson, juxtaposing a shot of him making a fiery speech against a pic of a Jewish guy in the front row holding up a sign that said "Hymies for Reagan."  It was one of my first published photos and I was quite thrilled. I was 18 years old. 

Back in the day, we shot film. And you Got what you Got. If you blew your exposure or focus, you didn't Get. I learned a lot of painful lessons back then, but it forced me to get better at my job. Now in previous decades, retouching negatives had always been a thing in the commercial world, but you didn't dare mess with that in the news world. If you manipulated anything on your transparency using the Dark Arts of the Dark Room, it could destroy your integrity and credibility. Nobody would hire you again if they knew you'd done something to your film that artificially modified a news story. In 1986 I think, Life Magazine ran an image on the cover of its A Day in the Life of America issue. Some photographer out west had been handed one of the first digital 35mm cameras from Kodak to beta test it on this project. It worked fine and the guy got some nice shots. In fact, one was even run on the cover. Impressive. However, violating a core expectation of news shooters, the guy did not get both horizontal and vertical images of his subject. I think it was a shot of a cowboy on a horse going by a cactus silhouetted by the setting sun or something. Life's photo editor loved it so much that he insisted it be used for the cover. Only problem was, the shot he wanted was a horizontal and the cover page was formatted for a vertical. Hmmmmm....what to do?

Well, rudimentary editing software was also being developed at this time for what was then known as "desktop publishing." Think super-basic elementary Photoshop where you could do a handful of stuff in there to pick up your photos a little. And that's what Life did. They manipulated the image to fit the cover, changing it from a horizontal to a vertical, but failed to mention it to anybody. As it turned out, it leaked, made news in all the trade journals and Life was pilloried in the industry. (Yeah, just for that.)

Today, minor editing for exposure and color is standard in the business. It's not a big deal. But like any technical process, it's vulnerable to abuse. And over the last 20 years, the abuse has been approaching the level of Normal. (Lots of Photoshop truth robbing got spotted in Gaza. Remember this? Everywhere else, too.) Sometimes you never know if what you're looking at is really what was there. And naturally this practice in Photo has leached over into the practice of Reporting. It's taken a while, but now we're demonstrably living in the world of mainstream News/Bias, where standard hard news mixed with opinion, innuendo and partisanship is just simply considered...The News. 

Now I'm old enough to remember how the breach of this trust in 2005-2006 canned the career of Dan Rather, who was kind of like the most trusted guy in news at the time. But like a cryogenically stored body thawed out once they discover the cure for cancer, Rather has re-emerged in recent years because a cure has been found for the truth. Which, it seems, is no longer as valuable as the motive behind the story. In other words, your news stories are now fables with a message instead of simple news stories. Dan Rather wanted to tell a story about George Bush that wasn't supported by his native tongue (JD from Sam Houston State Teacher's College), so he decided to blaze a new trail and incorporate "his truth" into the mix so that the "greater truth" could spread. Great idea. Too bad he was too avant-garde for his peers then.

See also--> Dan Rather Redux: '60 Minutes' Producer Remains Defiant Despite Being Caught Red-Handed Manipulating News

Dan Rather, Disgraced Former Newsman, Claims Trump Poses a Threat to Americans

But he's back now after 20 years, and just like a fine cabernet that improves after years in the dark, liberals and progressives finally recognize the bravery and beauty of Rather's sacrifice. I imagine he sees himself a little bit like Caesar leading his Triumph as he hits the outskirts of Rome after having been gone for a couple of decades. He's got a book, a Netflix series and a home on Substack now.  And like Caesar himself, he just might avoid going into the Capitol proper to avert the new government's reach and Donald Trump. He'll probably tell his fans that he fears retribution and arrest but can remain silent no longer.So Bold. So Brave... *sigh*

Anyway, after 25 years (at least) of the legacy media switching out hard news for the opposite kind, keep an eye on this one to see how much traction it gets. If it breathes life into the whole progressive narrative after having been stomped on lately, we could see more attempts to undermine Trump's presidential leadership. Going to be an interesting Spring.

[tryingtolearnartsob]

DAY STARTING OFF STRONG….!

—okay I saw some super cute comic from diff fandom and it really got me fired up. I wanted to draw comics of MY otp. 🥺🥺🥺 and I thought going for a more simplistic style would help with my high expectations of likensss that I can’t meet right now 😭😭😭 and so I got to sketching!!!!

—had some kind of idea and it was a very simple one and I just went….to do it. it did seem very ambitious too (with lol a big panel of holding…..hands…….)with the FOCUS but ehhhh just yesterday I was practicing hands I would be fine. they thought<3 lolllll

—I had thoughts of changing the comic to be different but I was like nahhh this is simple let’s stick with it! just go for it! I didn’t want to over complicate stuff or anything

—and so I got to overlarging the sketch and making it big so it can be the size I want it to be… and so I got to drawing over it and that’s when I immediately hit a block….

—the thing was the first rough sketch I did was so much cuter and better…. I feel like when I tried to draw over it….i tried to more capture likeness and then it just didn’t turn out as cute or as good as the rough sketch… so obviously I had to redo that. I did try to fix it at first (seeing the diff:larger eyes extra but ehhhhh it didn’t work) so I just went to redoing it. And ah!!! this attempt was def better!!!!

—also ha………drawing bust shots are Hard……….so I tried to (during first redraw over rough sketch) to also include in bits of torso etc to see how things would look like. I remembered this video I watched that said it’s best to draw things that aren’t in the shot so you can know where things are or smth. my quoting isn’t the best. anyways! it def helped…. also initially wasn’t even gonna include the bit I drew to help imagine the rest so I can draw bust shot… but I ended up including… I think it was good to hand in bits of the arm… also I remembered that they’re were supposed to be holding hands so I had made sure to make the hand their moving to hold hands looked like that

—I don’t even wanna talk about ssk’s hair it was so fcking annoying. clothes…….im so glad that ssk’s clothes is very simple in this era… lol… just a cape…. and I tried to remember to add in wrinkle since hand was moving…. sskkr clothes were simple too…. I’ve gotten used to it while drawing a lot of Srda who wears similar to her mom 💗

—I went straight to lining it… I didn’t even redraw over the hands… was impatient lol and just wanted to get to lining the characters…. and so I went! and did! and lol it’s obvs I started to loose the patience lmaoo. I didn’t take that much care when it came to skkr hair and roughly lined it like I was sketching. I didn’t mind. it looked okay.

—also crazy that I just went into lining the hands like that. my rough sketch of the hands was super rough sketch too lmaooo but somehow…?! it turned out well….?! this is the one im almost surprised at. I thought it’d turn out way worse. I mean yeahhhhh skk’s fingers over hers make no sense but skkr’s turned out better than I’d hope for…..im really proud of them…. so djjdjdjd I just didn’t want to cover up with ugly skk fingers so I made his fingers still continue to not make sense 💗

—finished the line art and honestly at this point…..I wasn’t feeling great about the art………….. which made me feel sad…. anyways I thought to add colour??

—and my GOSH do I need so much practice with color like wtf….picking the right color can be so hard wtf………it was turning out worse and I didn’t likeeee ittt. one bitttt. but I decided to just continue and go to ssk and do his hair and THIS WHERR THINGS CHANGED!!!!!

—like okay I was thinking what color for his hair…..since I did the line art dark purple….black made no sense. I usually just scribble in lines for darkness so I just decided to do the purple line art color for the hair and WHEN I LOWERED THE OPACITY A LITTLE… SO I CAN BETTER SEE THE LINEART SO I CAN COLOUR IN MORE ACCURATELY… TAHTS WHN THE MAGIC BEGANZZZZ

—-I realized I can do this in MONOCOLOUR!!!!!!!!! omg I forgot that so much and by gosh, was I so happy by this discovery!!!!!!!!!’ ahhhhhh I love monocolor so muchhhhh. my fav shit. it turned this into super fun drawing. I had much fun in trying to decide the diff opacities/values of diff stuff and really —when I was doing his cape for the hand…..that’s where the magic really flourished…. ah it made this drawing a very happy one for me… <3333

—it did still a lil empty so here I was just adjusting and trying to figure what to add and how to not make it too much and now looking back this version is totally fine……ahhhhh…..I kinda wish I kept the hearts. I did like how I scribbled it in…..they looked fun….oh well.

—also seriously lol I gotta stop posting stuff as soon as I finish it…. There should be something about looking at stuff with fresh eyes but also man…. I’m just pretty lazy abt that lol.

—RIDING THIS HIGH!!!! I WANTED TO DO ANOTHER SS PIECE!!!! THIS TIME MORE LOOKING LIKE THEN!!!!! I had this pose/idea in mind and just went straight to sketching the idea and very happy with it…. it feels so nice too to just have an idea for pose and get to sketching it and be able to doing it ahhhhhh. also felt very nice when I roughly sketched it in and cleaned it up a lil like the face and stuff… properly adding in some features n stuff. also hmmmm i probs should do something with ssk’s other arm….

—also lmao I really have neglected the feet too much. I need to do something about learning them but also ahhhh I really don’t want to. also did have some struggle with trying to find out if they were sitting or what they were lying on… or kneeling or whatever. floor or actual sofa/chair…. I need to better visualize stuff like that… also I think for me, ss in side view I think im the best in… also man I really need to work on her hair a lot.

—anyways as I was doing this I had started to get a better image of like a story so I kinda wanted to turn this into a comic and while I was drawing the hair that kinda turned into a redraw of face too… I ended up trying to draw the comic bit that I wanted to include and ha………..this where things started to fall apart….. 😭😭😭😭 my problem of deawing ss faces came back to me 😔😔😔

—and ahhh seriously I don’t know what it is. I thought maybe the nose…? So I tried different way but nope. it’s not that. it got me so frustrated n sad I just stopped the wip there. I was already planning to pause anyways since I was getting tired… and plus trying to think of clothes was also too exhausting but sad to have to pause the wip in that moment…

(now looking back at this as I am uploading the images on to here… I think it might be the mouth of her face that’s the problem…..? also lol noticed problems with her side profile face too it looks a bit off but eh well I can always fix that later)

—-ahhhb seriously I need to do ss face sketches…. I looked at the manga to see what it is that im just getting so wrong that feels so frustrated…. and I think maybe the eyes…? is a big one…? and maybe nose???? anyways I just really need to practice!!!! but forgetting that part. today start was very good!!!! im pleasantly surprised!!!!

—I want to go back to the comic sketch that I drafted yesterday…. and also I want to do lots of figure pracs so I don’t go out of practice…. yeah….! and more hand studies… feet I can’t be asked to do. BDJFJKFKD. im just not interested into doing it and don’t care to right now even though I probs should be….. 5.56

6.00 I kinda just wanna do the ss face prac right now but also I really am too tired for more art stuff… Rn…. I just wanna take break….

[revolveroshawott2]

Split Necklace 1/30/24

I don't have much to actually talk about, I haven't been working on Split Necklace for a while. At this point I may restart my "design doc," well it's just a paper tablet, but something is bugging me when rereading it. Not really sure what so I may redo it, character names will be the same, but the story outline may be radically different. It's still gonna be SAW but anime, which is still ironic because while I maybe 25 I still have a fear of that puppet from that series. I think I'm gonna rework the character design. Only to make everyone, but Ken, stand out a little more. The reason why I singled Ken out is because I want to attempt the Silent Hill 1 thing they did with Harry. A neutral looking man so the player can fully immerse themselves in. Due to my fear of it, I don't know much about SAW but I would imagine due to some of the stuff victims had to go through, stuff like getting a key on a pendulum before getting slashed by a saw blade, being super glued to a car going high speed, and something called a reverse bear trap, things would be very tense to go through yourself. Before you ask I have friends who are fans of SAW and while it's not completely accurate I got board and decided to look up the plot summaries on Chat GPT. They're kind of stupid, but the basic premise of how badly do you want to live is a neat idea which is why I'm still working on this to some extent, but I'm trying to write outlines for other projects.

Said projects are two comics, one is a Super Sentai fan comic I had in mind since high school called V-Ranger. I have the cast, their respected colors, and the villain I just need to write an outline. The other is called My Foreign Boyfriend, about a Japanese woman being in a relationship with an American that moved to Japan. Currently writing that outline, while coming up with chapter ideas. I know exactly how I want it to begin and end just need to fill in the gaps.

To focus on the topic of this post, I'm still gonna keep the Legends of the Hidden Temple names for the chapters. As to why, the biggest reason is because I honestly love that show and the Jester's Court was the 1st thing to come to mind. Not sure why it did, it just happened. As to the other reason, it's kind of like how the crew who made Regular Show did their episodes. From my understanding they had the episode title 1st then just came up with ideas for it that episodes. So looking at all 4 seasons I think I can come up with something good. Thinking about it now, I want the Jester's Court to be the 1st level so I think it's just gonna be one body part to collect. Keep things simple, but right now the biggest thing that I want to work on is the story itself. That's a big focus of it, not to the extent that the gameplay will be trash. Trying to make it survival horror game, there will be an HP meter. Both a bar in the pause screen, and visually. A kin to how Haunting Ground and Resident Evil Revelations displayed HP. Making the screen a bit of a visual mess, but at the moment I will most likely get someone who knows Javascript to get some codes made for things, but at the moment it's unnecessary.

I do apologize for lack of updates, and screen shots in this update. This is low priority for me, and if y'all lost interest I understand. However once I figured out somethings about how I want to proceed development will continue! Hopefully the real world won't get in the way... but that maybe out of my hands, because life sucks. Regardless thanks for reading this update!

[chorusfm]

Nick Woolford of Have Mercy

Recently I was able to schedule a Zoom call with Nick Woolford (bassist/backing vocals) of Have Mercy to discuss the band’s latest full length record called Numb, that releases today via Rude Records. In this interview, I asked Nick about the band’s process for crafting the songs on this LP, the chemistry with their new drummer, how Taylor Swift’s Midnights led the band to some creative discoveries, and their favorite bands/venues in the Maryland area. Numb is available today here. Thank you so much for connecting with me today, Nick. Can you tell me about what went into the writing and recording process of your new record called Numb? It was very laid back, compared to everything we’ve ever done. We didn’t have a label or anything, it was just kind of us. Just hanging out in the basement and writing. Kind of how it was 15 years ago. So, there was no pressure. It just came really naturally. We just took our time on it. And we did all the recording ourselves as well. What was the writing process like for those songs? Were there certain sections of songs you struggled with? For sure. I mean, there were definitely some songs that just came out in a couple of hours. And just was like, “Okay, we know exactly what’s going on.” There’s some songs that we changed, probably five times or so. I mean, because we didn’t have a drummer either, really, at that time. So we were all just kind of jumping drum parts into the computer. We really had to focus on how, if we had a real drummer, how this sounds, so it makes things a little difficult. But once we got the drummer situation figured out, everything really came in, and it all panned out really well.  So who is your current drummer? And how’s that band chemistry going? It’s good. It’s Steve Wooten, who was in a bunch of Victory Records bands back in the day. And he’s from the Annapolis area, so we all kind of grew up with him. And it was on a whim, we asked him if he would want it to record drums. And I mean, he has been the best. And everything has worked out really well with Steve. That’s great to hear. I reviewed your guys last EP, which was a self-titled effort. How did this process of adding the momentum gained from your last EP, which was a well-received effort, motivate your band to make more music right away? I think that’s basically what kind of motivated us to do it. During the pandemic, it just shifted away from music. I mean, we stopped in 2019. We went on that tour, that farewell tour, and then the pandemic hit. And I mean, everyone just had nothing to do. So we decided to focus on doing other things besides music. And eventually, I said, “Well, I got some songs. You guys want to come over and see what happens?” And we’re like, “Okay, well, maybe we can still do this!” And it got really positive views. And everyone was saying that should start doing more stuff. So we kind of buckled down and focused on seeing what we could come up with. That’s awesome. And I understand you also recently filmed a music video…? Yeah, last night.  Okay, what song was that for? And what is the general theme of that video? It’s for “Numb,” the title track. It won’t actually be released for a couple weeks, until when the album comes out. Naturally, I think we had a couple of different ideas. And just the lighting and the simple cinematography, we really just kind of focused on a live setting shot, but it was filmed in a really cool studio, a recording studio. The live room just has really cool colors. And I mean, it looks great. The director really did a really good job and got some really awesome shots. So I’m excited to see how he puts it all together… That’s awesome. Your latest single, called “Alive,” I think, is a great song, first of all for Have Mercy. Can you explain how the lyrics and the music came together for that particular track? Yeah, so it’s actually kind of funny. So me and Brian were sitting in the basement working on a couple ideas… https://chorus.fm/features/interviews/please-post-on-friday-12-8-nick-woolford-of-have-mercy/

[connorumodeling]

Update Post 3

I am back again, with an update. I have been busy, but I have had to change slight priority of when things get done. For example; some accessory items will need to be pushed back so I can deliver my vision of the Judgement Hall scene. Setting The Scene: First off, I have found a reference image that gives a feel for what I am going for the renders of the scene. This reference image is this:

I want to add a roof of some kind and connect the pillar with an arch. This takes priority. I want to deliver this big, grand, ominous judgement hall. This has made me change priorities of the order of things. A future update has also help with this as well, but I will explain what that is at the end of the post, with other future update plans. What Have I Done Between Updates? I have made the floor checkered, a table, a cloth,and fiddled around with the color wheel, of Maya, to get certain color to apply, as basic textures, to make the scene look more like what I pictured it to look like. This will be shown in the renders of the hallway section. I have also made two different versions of Undyne's spear, as the first item, a gold version, and a blue version, both with glowing textures. I started with a mood board for the spear, and even some bones , that represent Papyrus and Sans.

After I went to make the models of the different versions of the spear and rendered images. Here are the renders of them:

As you all can see I went with this design as a base for the spears.

I just really liked the look and shape of this take of spears, so I took inspiration for my models. Working On The Hall Scene: I also made a sort of basic reference, mood board, for the hallway layout as well.

Render Tests: I had managed to take some test renders of my current hallway piece. I did run into some issues, like floating pillars, but I did fix those issue and took more renders. Here are all the test renders I took. First one is an overhead view:

This is an angled view, next is a side view(Keep this because it is a good shot even though pillars are floating):

And here is the final test render.

Getting Darker: When I was taking shots, to render, to test what it would look like, what lighting could be used, etcetera, I decided to try a render or 2 without the sky dome lighting and the results were actually pretty good/cool looking. I decided to take some renders and honestly, by messing with lighting a little more, I can have myself some more ominous looking renders that fight the mood I am going for conveying. It is interesting how a simple shift in lighting can change a whole mood of a scene. Here are the 2 renders:

Now a little bit of lighting is diffidently needed to make things a little more seeable. Going Forward: The next thing I will focus on is making the hallway bigger and laying out the direction it will go, lighting and building the ceiling. This reasoning is to help me see hall's shape more, and to have a more to scale hall to do a fly through play blast for my upcoming draft Demo Reel. I will update this if I get more stuff done before the end of the day. I am excited to work on getting more renders, a play blast, etc., for my draft of a demo reel for this project.

[yourlunarspice]

so many good ones mmm ok. 3, 14, 49 <3 <3

Ahhhh thank you so much for your ask, Llyn! I love getting responses to ask games. It's gives me an opportunity to ramble about the most random things, lol

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

Something that I've always tried to do with my fics is about descriptions, and I'm gonna try to explain it properly. There's always a risk of writing too much description. With too much description, you get something akin to Tolkien that is vivid but it drags the storyline/pacing down. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE visualizing a scene and wanting to write down LITERALLY EVERYTHING, but that's not practical.

For me, I try to only put the barest information about setting (if it's important) and focus on the characters and their blocking through the scene. This ensures that the story isn't bogged down with unnecessary descriptions but gets the important parts solidified in the reader's mind.

One example is in my first bnha story Those Damn Flowers, where young Aizawa was walking down a hall as he reflected on recent events. It could have been a hall at UA, his home, or some other place; point is, it wasn't important. It lets every reader have a unique perspective on the scene's setting (and, by proxy, Aizawa's clothes and the people around him) while keeping the important parts (Aizawa's thought process and physical reactions to them) unchanging.

14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer?

Noticing really comes to mind, tbh. I get most of the fics I read through AO3feed blogs, and I don't really pay attention to the author. If the summary looks good, I check it out, simple as that.

That being said, if I had to give an answer, I don't really read most fantastical AUs (i.e., fantasy/dragon, steampunk, fallout, space/alien, etc.), HOWEVER, if a trusted friend or writer wrote something in one of those more fantastical AUs, I'd give it a shot.

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

I've been writing/posting some weird stuff lately, lol. Most recently, it was 'No Cure' (one of my favorites), but before that it was 'You call it 'torturing', I call it 'mercy killing'. Same difference' and 'Do you know how to tell where a corpse is buried?'. Real snappy titles, I know.

The next thing I'm planning on posting is on the 19th, and it's the final chapter of my biggest story yet, Heaven And Earth Between Us. Here are a few paragraphs from Chapter 6: New Beginnings (censored so no spoilers!):

((Also, I knowwww I said I wouldn't read many fantastical AUs, and I don't, but I was inspired to write this, ironically, a fantastical AU. Don't read into it too much))

Toshihiro’Máni met the Death god’s gaze. “I wish for compassion on this soul,” he said. “He did not understand the weight of his actions and died unecessarily.” [Death god] gazed at the corpse before raising an eyebrow at Toshihiro’Máni. “I take it you’re another god?”

“Yes, I control the Moon and the stars. Please, will you help him?”

Hands reached forward and lifted [Victim]’s body out of Toshihiro’Máni’s hands. “Please,” the Moon god found himself begging. “He doesn’t deserve this fate.”

“And you think no one else was undeserving of theirs?” [Color] eyes flashed, pinning Toshihiro’Máni where he stood. “People die all the time, some deserving their fate, others innocent. Your friend is a drop in the bucket.”

Toshihiro’Máni gulped at the sudden anger, but pressed onward: “I just want to save one. And if I can make a difference to one person, that will be enough for me.

“Everyone I know has saved countless lives,” he continued, the faces of Aizawa, Midoriya, Kirishima, …Katsuki flickering in his mind’s eye. “But all I can do is prevent bad dreams. If I can save just one…” tears sprang to his eyes. “...that will be enough for me!”

I'M SO HAPPY WITH HOW HEAVEN HAS TURNED OUT, IT'S THE FIC IM PROUDEST OF

After that, I have something in mind for Shinny boy, but I haven't started writing it yet. It's gonna be another one of those "I need help sleeping, please use your Quirk to help me sleep" stories. I've seen so many of those, but I can't help it. I love the sleepy purple boy.

Thanks again for the asks, Llyn! Sorry my answers got SUPER long

From this ask game

[tomiyeee]

how long does it take you to draw and colour? since you post everyday which is great for me :D any tips for colouring cause Im still tryna figure all that out

hmm welllll, i don't exactly time how long it takes to draw but my partner said that sometimes i'll be working on a piece when they go to sleep and i'll still be working on it when they wake up 7 hours later so...my guess is anywhere from 3-8 hours each depending on complexity? at least for the art that i normally post, most of which is relatively simple.

not entirely sure what kind of tips you were looking for, but i'll just throw out some of my thought processes and stuff i try to keep in mind whenever i color. i'm gonna try and keep these relatively to the point so i won't go into much detail on art terms n whatnot, BUT i am also pretty terrible at explaining things so if you need clarification on anything, feel free to ask!

(sorry it's so longggg, i got carried away. i am...very wordy when it comes to art lol)

i like to block in the colors during the sketching stage before i do the lineart, especially for pieces where i know i want to do something funky with the color palette. you can see this in a lot of my process shots. doing colors in the planning stage just gives me a lot more freedom to focus purely on the colors and shading and how they work with the composition, without having to worry about the minute details like making sure the colors are inside the lines.

in order to save time while coloring, i'll usually just select the negative space (after making sure all the lineart is closed) > expand selection by 1 pixel (to make sure the edges are hidden within the liineart) > invert selection > fill bucket, then use clipping layers above that to color individual areas.

layer modes are your friend! i use multiply, overlay, and glow dodge (this one may be specific to mangastudio?) in almost every one of my drawings, but it's definitely worth playing around with all of the modes just to familiarize yourself with them if you haven't already.

color is honestly SO subjective. i'm never a fan of color picking (from source material or my own refs or whatever) bc while it may have its uses when it comes to consistency, imo it's much more fun to make them up as i go. you get a lot more variety from piece to piece while also familiarizing yourself with the character's palette that way. usually i'll start by deciding on the overall mood/palette (cool/warm, de-saturated, neon, pastel, etc), filling in the background color, then picking the characters' colors based on that. like with this venti pic, i started with a purple background and based my colors around that purple so they all fit the specific look i was going for. i could maybe get a similar effect by starting with the normal colors and using filters, shading, layer modes, etc to get the funky colors, but it will be much harder/more work and doesn't get as drastic of an effect imo.

on that note, don't be afraid to use shades/colors that may seem odd! you'd be surprised how many times i've used gray in place of blue, orange, purple..basically any color. in the above example, you can see just how different the colors ended up being from the original. after i decide on my palette + bg color, i'll just throw down the color i think will work and then (bc that first guess is usually wrong and meant only as a ballpark estimate) see if it needs to be warmer or cooler/darker or lighter/more or less saturated/etc and adjust accordingly. it's like mixing paint or tuning an instrument! it takes a little bit of practice, but after a while you start to get the hang of what colors will look like in which color palettes. white is usually the easiest to start with bc it will always just be tinted whatever color your palette is (like how the "white" in the above example is just a light purple).

this and the next point are more about shading but i include it as part of the coloring process: the easiest way i've learned to do shading is to darken the entire image/character/part you want to shade (usually with a solid color multiply layer) then add in the lighting either by erasing parts of the multiply layer or by using a separate layer set to overlay or glow dodge (or a similar lightening layer mode). it works a lot better than drawing the shadows imo because it kind of mimics how light works in real life; things are dark by default until you let light in and it hits what it can while leaving the rest still dark.

if you want to blend shadows, i usually still use the above method, but just blur certain areas of it and when i'm deciding which parts to blur (bc i don't just do so indiscriminately) i'll mentally sort all of the shadows into 2 categories:

shadows created by light being blocked by an object: like putting your hand in front of a flashlight. these shadows will retain their sharp edge, but can transition into the 2nd category if they are far enough from the obstruction, like how your hand's shadow will become blurrier the further you move it from the flashlight. the more distance between a light source and the surface it's projecting onto, the more chances for the light to scatter = softer edges

shadows created by light "rolling" off the surface: like the shadows on a ball or rounded surface. these will get blurred and i usually like to put a little bit of color along the blurred edge (a different and usually brighter/more saturated color than the rest of the shadows) just to add some life to the shadows.

here's an annotated version of this mikey pic with just the shadows so it's a lot easier to see :) sorry im bad at annotating..

aaaand this post has probably gotten way longer than you were hoping for so i'll cut it off here 😭 hope this has been at least somewhat useful, and good luck with your art!

[warrior-of-waistbands]

Fic: Somewhere in here there's room for a library pun

In which Melvin's study session is interrupted by a certain someone with a bad haircut

(aka: remember this post? I salvaged and tweaked the rest of the fic because I decided I liked it after all. Melvin x Harold fluff set when they're a little older / Melvin is a disaster and I love him.)

//

Melvin slammed his locker door shut. On the wall next to it hung a colorful poster advertising that year's Homecoming dance (the theme: "Party Like It's 1989"), and when Melvin laid his eyes on it he scowled. Turning away now, he made his way down the sophomore wing hallway, moving briskly, barely stopping to sidestep all the other students getting in his way.

Right now it was lunchtime, and while everyone else was heading towards the cafeteria, Melvin was making his way to the library, intent on getting a head start on his biology midterms and maybe on his finals, too, if he could find the right textbooks. As he stepped into the air conditioned building, he took a look around, noting the emptiness, the quiet. He took a deep breath, taking in the wonderful scent of aging paper and ink. It was the perfect atmosphere for studying.

Not that he really needed to study for a simple biology quiz. Still, it paid to be prepared.

He made his way to the library's expansive reference section and got to work picking out heavy encyclopedia after hefty dictionary, carting his haul to one of the tables and settling down to read and take notes. From outside he could make out the faint sounds of teenagers laughing and talking, enjoying their forty-minute break from schoolwork.

Couldn't be him.

It was halfway through his study session, as he was busy copying down an interesting fact about mitochondria and what they powered, that he heard the library door open again; someone else was coming in and plunking their stuff down on a table not that far from his. Curious, Melvin discreetly turned his gaze towards the newcomer.

Harold Hutchins sat in the library with him, backpack thrown carelessly atop the table, a notebook open in front of him and a handful of colored pens scattered over it. He bent over said notebook, seemingly scribbling something in it.

Oh, great. Now what is he doing here? Melvin thought.

As Melvin sat there, staring, Harold raised his head, spotted Melvin, and smiled, raising his hand to wave—

Immediately, Melvin felt himself blush. He ducked his head back down, trying to force his eyes to focus on the open textbook in front of him. Shoot shoot shoot he saw me he saw—

"Hey, Melvin."

A startled sort of half shriek, half gasp left Melvin, and he immediately clamped his hand over his mouth in embarrassment. Timidly, he shot a glance at Harold, now standing before his table with his backpack slung over his shoulder and his pens and notebook in hand, smiling amiably.

"Hel—....good afternoon to you too, Harold," Melvin replied, clearing his throat, straightening his posture, desperately trying to play it cool while fighting to regain his composure. To keep from making further eye contact with Harold he busied himself with organizing his annotated index cards, shuffling them into piles once and again.

"How come you aren't out at lunch?" Harold asked. Melvin almost replied with, Shouldn't I be asking you the same question?, but he stopped himself at the last moment, choosing instead to say, "I'm getting ready for my biology test next week. One can never be too prepared." A new thought occured to him then, seeing Harold out of the corner of his eye. "Say....is George not with you today?"

"He's—he's here, but he's not here with me. Right now. Our English teacher wanted to talk to him today so...." Harold shrugged. "I told him I'd be down here. Hey, mind if I sit here?"

"Uh—" But Harold was already pulling out the other chair, plopping his backpack down on the floor under it. Crossing his arms on the table, he smiled again and turned to look at Melvin, not unkindly.

"Hey, are you going to Homecoming?"

Melvin frowned. "No, I don't think I will. School dances are a terrible waste of time."

"Shame." Harold held his gaze on Melvin for a moment, before suddenly turning back down to face the notebook he'd laid down on the table. Closed. Even so, Melvin could still see the odd look on his face.

Something about that look made something knot in Melvin's chest.

"I....assume you and George are going, though? Don't you two usually go to these kinds of things together?"

"Yeah, we are. It's just...." Harold ran a hand through his hair. "Just—I was also kinda thinking that....I'd maybe like to go with someone else, too. Someone who's....maybe a little more than a friend?" He threw another glance at Melvin and then back to the notebook. "Except....I don't really know how I'm supposed to approach this other person."

Melvin was blushing again, suddenly feeling very out of his depth. "Well, I—I guess the best way would be to just—just talk to them? Be direct?" He worried a pencil in his hands, unconsciously. A brief question flashed in his mind:

Who?

"I guess. Yeah." Harold was frowning now. Both boys sat in silence for a few minutes, contemplative. Somewhere amidst the bookshelves a clock ticked away, counting down the minutes until the end of lunch.

Eventually Melvin cleared his throat shyly and said, "I think....I think if it were me in your situation, I'd probably chicken out."

At that Harold laughed, earning him a stern look from the librarian, and said, "You? Chicken out? Since when?"

"I—feelings are hard!" Melvin turned his head away from Harold to hide the flush in his cheeks from him. "Unfortunately, not everything is as simple and fun as splitting atoms!"

"No, no, I get what you mean. This boy, he's rocking my entire world right now and I don't even know how to ask him if I can borrow a pencil." Harold chuckled. Looked back at Melvin, thoughtful. "Although....more I think about it, maybe the party scene isn't really his thing after all."

"....Well." Melvin didn't know what to respond. Again, the boys fell silent, eyes locked, both deep in thought.

Ask me to go to Homecoming with you, Melvin suddenly thought. A horrifying thought. He turned sharply away from Harold. Scared. Where the hell had that come from??

Harold was about to say something in response when the library door clattered open and a voice called out, "Harold! Tell me you're still in here!"

"Back here!" Harold called back, overtop the librarian's angry shushing sounds. Now George sauntered over to the table, slamming his hands down on the surface enthusiastically. "What's up, gents and germs?" he said, glancing back and forth between Harold and Melvin.

"Melvin here was just giving me helpful life advice," Harold answered playfully. Melvin threw him a sneer.

"Oh really? What, is he telling you the best places to stash your thermo-nuclear reactor?" George and Harold both giggled at that one. Melvin rolled his eyes.

"I see George has returned from his meeting, so I think I'll be leaving you two to it," Melvin said, making to stand up and grab his things. Fully intending to leave the two alone. But:

"Nah, it's okay. We were just leaving." Harold said, standing and stashing his notebook into his backpack. Slapping a hand down on George's shoulder, he added, "Come on, it's five minutes 'til lunch is over, we can still grab some potato wedges."

"Alright." George slapped Harold's shoulder in return and turned to Melvin. "See ya, Einstein," he said. Started turning towards the door.

Harold lingered for the briefest of seconds. He turned to Melvin, waved another shy wave with another shy smile. "Bye, Melv," he said. Grinned.

Another tight feeling in Melvin's chest. "Y-yeah....see ya," he answered. And much to his horror, his own hand got up and waved back.

Harold chuckled softly and smiled wider. A strange soft look in his eyes. Looking right at Melvin and his stupid waving hand. Smiling.

He turned. And George and Harold walked out of the library together, talking and laughing.

Melvin was alone in the library once again. This time, the quiet didn't seem nearly as welcoming.

He brought his waving hand to his chest and held it there, feeling the thump-thump of his heart behind his ribs. Somehow, it always seemed to beat faster when Harold was around....

Melvin bit his lip.

Who was he talking about?

Outside, out in the courtyard, Melvin heard the lunch bell ring.

[ktffansub]

Bijutsu Techo: Boys Love – Interview: Yoneda Kou

This article was first published in November 17th, 2014. Translated from Japanesse to Bahasa Indonesia by kalengjelek and then translated from Bahasa Indonesia to English by KTFfansub. Source: here

When did you first encounter manga?

I was born in a family with three daughters; while my older sister likes reading Ribbon magazine, I like reading Nakayoshi. It was the era of Asagiri Yuu-sensei, when I was in elementary school. My favorite at that time were Kusunoki Kei sensei’s works and Patlabor. When it came to Shonen, I would say I was more into Shounen Sunday. I also loved Kawaraha Izumi sensei’s works. When I think about it, rather than manga that were full of passion, I’d actually prefer manga that had calm and soothing kind of vibe.

Is that so… What about BL?

When I was in Junior High, my older sister showed me Captain Tsubasa Doujinshi by Ozaki Minami and I was dumbfounded, I thought, “So, there’s also a world like this!”. After that, I started to buy BL manga. At that time, the mangaka who left the most impression to me was Nishi Keikosensei. Her works such as Mizu Ga Koori Ni Naru Toki, Tenshi Ni Naranakya have unique openings, it made me reread them many times. Uida Shiuko (now Kano Shiuko) and Yoshinaga Fumi Sensei are also my favorite mangaka.

When was the first time you draw manga?

I seriously began drawing manga in my first year of junior high. At first, I drew a pair of man and woman, but after page three, I felt something was off. So, I tried drawing BL for the next one. Just like the present, I’ve always loved less expressive and less-talkactive main characters (laughs). But the more I draw, then an attentive senpai with good personality and short haired ones like Togawa in Doushitemo Furetakunai also appeared. At that moment I thought, “Oh, this is it!”

You really weren’t embarrassed, are you? (laughs)

Well, it’s because it was embarrassing, that’s why I’m not really open about my drawing manga activity.

(laughs) But you debut as professional mangaka eventually, how did that happen?

Yes, after that… I worked as office lady. I got married not long after, but then, I was getting through a marriage blues. At that time, I was invested in Kakashi and Naruto shown by my older sister along with Comiket catalogue.

The power of moe beats out your anxiety (laughs)

It’s true (laughs). Escaping from reality, I checked a lot of circles and opened some sites. There I found a work from a novelist (now has debuted professionally) that I really liked. This is why I started writing novel at first, not drawing. I have a lot of ways to accommodate my moe needs. I also once drew Doujinshi but due to my inability to use a proper diction, the result wasn’t optimal (laughs). After drawing slowly and more at ease, I got into Katekyo Hitman Reborn fandom and drew a lot of doujinshi for that series. A year later, I was contacted by Taiyou Tosho publisher.

“With that publisher, Yoneda Kou published Doushitemo Furetakunai which has been adapted into a movie. Since the beginning, Yoneda Kou didn’t draw one-shot but serialization. For the movie, even though it only tells a story of daily lives, but the directing, composition and dialogue are impressive. About 4,5 years later, the second volume of Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai that had the yakuza neighborhood setting was released. This has completely different feeling compared to Doushitemo Furetakunai.”

My first work was actually published in Drap, so I had it adjusted to be a less-heavy work. That’s why I ended up switching to another magazine.

Was it a demand from the editor?

Of course I only draw what I want to draw. But without realizing, I always draw them to fit the magazine. And it seems like Taiyou Tosho prefers me to draw more simple work.

So, sensei is the type who pays attention to editor’s suggestion. When you wrote the first chapter of Saezuru Tori Wa Habatakanai, did you already want Yashiro to be the main character (for longterm series)?

Right. I didn’t explain it in the first one-shot, but I always believe that no matter how you look at it, Yashiro really loved Kageyama. And (even though he’s drawn like that) he is actually a neko (uke). I think he is an interesting character. When I drew highschooler Yashiro and others, it had been decided that I wanted to write a serialization for this.

And only then the character Doumeki was born?

At that time, the character Doumeki didn’t exist, but I thought very hard about what kind of partner that would be suitable for Yashiro. I took a break from drawing for about two years. I only worked on illustration during that time, until one morning an idea suddenly came to me, “That’s right! Erectile dysfunction!”. I immediately sent an email to my editor: “A perverted impotent man!” (laughs). Afterwards, I finally worked on the first draft.

(laughs hard) Finally, the combination of Yashiro and Doumeki who are the opposite of each other was decided. What an amazing couple that can even make the readers losing sleep.

I do have this particular interest in people’s decision and behaviour resulted from a contrasting relationship that is full of conflicts. Because there are so many characters in Saezuru, I have this excel file compiling the plot for each character chronologically. Otherwise, I would’ve forgotten about it. If I didn’t seriously research (the setting of my own story), I wouldn’t be able to write anything when I made name. But even though I got through it, drawing a family with no blood ties like yakuza was still difficult. If I don’t focus, the story might turn out like Nagara Sakugyou*. That’s why now I’m just focusing on doing Saezuru.

*) nagara sakugyou: other work that being serialized at the same time

Up until now, Sensei has published 5 volumes and all of them have beautiful covers with varied tones.

Actually, the cover color for Doushitemo Furetakunai should’ve looked like red wine, but it seemed like there was an error in printing so the pink was contrasting into it. But it turned out to be good.

Then about the cover for the Saezuru first volume. It’s so impressive! The stepped-on man! All the people around me also had high appraise for this.

Actually, there were so many things happened in the process. By taking the request (it isn’t clearly explained whether it’s from editor/designer) of “Yashiro sitting alone”, I first submitted that illustration to the book designer. However, I couldn’t throw away the idea of Yashiro being stepped on, so, during the next three days I was stressed out. I’ve finally asked them to keep my idea and that’s how the cover of the first volume ended up the way it is now.

I see! For the second volume, it’s totally different, isn’t it? It’s a scenery, but when you do a double take, there are Yashiro and Doumeki!

I always want to give a different vibe in each volume. Actually I’m also a fan of the way Tsumugi Taku-sensei draws scenery.

Hoo-, sensei is a fan of Tsumugi sensei! Talking abough NIGHTS, when you open the cover, there’s a surprise in it!

Yes, if you look at the rough sketches there were 4 pages of picture that were interconnected. In the end, the desainer took picture number two as the cover and number four to put it on the bottom of the back cover. For Soredemo, I didn’t get any guide from the book designer. I combined the the feel of the story with a touch of water paint. At first, I actually wanted to make Deguchi pulling Onoda’s hand to get out of the train, but it ended up looking like Deguchi forced Onoda to stay (with him). So I decided it’s Onoda who’s getting off the train by himself with Deguchi waiting on the platform.

Do you do the coloring with computer? How about the non-colored script?

I use SAI for coloring but for monochrome I usually draw by my hand until the inking, then I do the tone using photoshop.

Do you self-learned drawing?

Well, I at least bought a lot of ‘pose reference’ books often. When it comes to buy things, it feels great, doesn’t it? But when it comes to manga, we draw to tell our moe concept.. well, I love drawing moe concept, but the thing is- I’m not really good at drawing. I like thinking about moe stuff, I also like to combine colors (inside my head) but when I do, I have no desire to draw I, even though that’s the important part. There are often times when I feel like drawing is a handful. In short, I want to draw something that isn’t too troublesome.

But, isnt it because you’re doing manga seriously that it feels difficult?

Because I’m too serious I feel like the story can be boring. Not only the work but also the author (laughs). I often read comments saying my manga is ‘down to earth’. I guess it’s shown obviously in every each of my works

Sure, there are people who think like, “In real world, there’s no way a wakagashira can be as masochist as Yashiro”, but apart from that, Saezuru still gives an impression of it being realistic. In drawing the important men’s arms and muscles in your work, sensei has done your best. Getting into the story, the characters also put extra effort to look elegant. Despite the young age, in a positive sense, sensei’s works feels like having Showa* vibe.

(*SHOWA ERA: 1926~1989)

I’m no longer young, though (laughs). Maybe this is why my works often get called “JUNE”. Especially Saezuru, I think it really fits (JUNE concept).

Are you an organized person?

I’m actually a person who have no chill (laughs). But I have this side of myself who tend to see things as a whole, look at my surrounding then step on the brake. There is also a side of me that is so energetic in creating my own moe that I turn into a selfish person. I guess that’s also my flaw.

It seems like sensei is the type who has her own editorial meeting inside her head (laughs)

I wish it’s not true, but unfortunately, I’m the type of person who is embarrased to admit that I have a relationship with manga. Even until now I have yet told my close friends about this job (as BL mangaka). I’m not that kind of person who like to share or tell others about my moe situation inside my head. When my moe concept is being visualized in public I would scream, “Don’t look! But if you want to read it, I’d be happy”. Yes, I’m that kind of person.

I wonder if sensei’s works are the manifestation of sensei’s own self-contradictions..

[the-cult-of-russo]

Hues of Gold

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader 

Request : do a billy russo x reader with the reader having an art job and them meeting due to that somehow

Warnings: none 

A/N: Here it is, my first Billy x Reader. I'll be getting to the prompts in my inbox too but still feel free to send me more requests. You don't need to pick from the prompt lists, if you have an idea then just send it on over. Nothing is off limits and I write for every type of Billy. S1 Billy, S2 Billy, pre-show Billy, all the AU Billy's you can think of lmao Gimme them all.

You tilted your head a little, eyes sweeping across the paint on the easel in front of you. The piece was coming together nicely. You'd started at humble beginnings with your artwork as a street artist. You hadn't been able to afford art school and you didn't feel like people needed to if they just felt it. And you did. You'd been a hit with your expressionist art and before you knew it, you were getting wealthy clients and more money. Now you had your own little studio with an apartment on top. It wasn't flashy but it was yours and you loved it. The work you thought was good enough for your new clients would go up on your website, they'd buy them and then you'd send them off to their new home. It was simple and you got to spend every day painting to your heart's content. 

You bit your lip as you mixed two golds together to get the perfect shade you were after. Some of your pieces were weirder than others, others being more realistic or using average colors. Some of them were darker in theme or used more vibrant colors with looser shapes. It was all dependent on how you felt when making it. The one currently being worked on wasn't finished by any means. Oil paint often required many layers and getting it to dry in between time. But if someone was to gauge your mood by this one, well… they'd say you were most likely sexually frustrated. It was a naked woman laying on her back on rumpled sheets, just her torso and a bit of her leg to leave the rest to the imagination. Her male counterpart was pressed up against her as the bodies melded together, his hand gripping her thigh. The colors you'd picked for this were hues of red, orange, yellow and gold, making it look like the couple were set ablaze. The epitome of passion. It was coming along nicely. 

Your work cell rang breaking you from your thoughts. You gave your hand a quick wipe on the ratty towel next to you as you picked it up, answering with your full name. 

"Hi, I'm lookin' for some art and I've heard you're the girl to go to," a smooth voice came through the phone. The fact that someone recommended this guy to you made you smile. It always did. It meant people were pleased with your work. 

"I am. Have you checked the website? That's where my current pieces are," you murmured softly.

"I did but… I haven't really found the one yet. And a friend of mine tells me you've got a bunch of exclusive stuff at your studio," he replied.

You glanced around your studio. He wasn't wrong entirely although you wouldn't call them exclusives. You'd call them rejects if you were honest. Your new clientele were more demanding and it made you second guess your pieces more often than you'd like to admit. This led to many of them finding a home in your studio instead. You were unsure who the man's friend was as typically you didn't have people come to the studio. It was a very rare occurrence and you couldn't imagine him being interested in any of these pieces. But a customer was a customer.

"You're more than welcome to come down and look at them. I'm not sure you'll find what you're looking for though, I've kept them offline because they're in the reject pile," you snorted wryly. His smooth chuckle was soothing as it hit your ears and you nibbled on your lower lip.

"Well I'll be the judge of that," you didn't know what he looked like but you could hear the smirk in his voice. You told him the address before hanging up.

You were a little nervous of someone coming into your space and judging the art you'd already deemed not worth putting up for sale, but you decided to roll with it. It was too late now and it wouldn't be a good look for your business to tell the guy he couldn't come. You decided to continue the piece you were working on to keep your mind occupied, having no idea just when the man would decide to show, or if he would at all. 

It was an hour later when the large wooden door knocked and you called out that it was open. You stood up and wiped your hands on the towel again, not that it helped much. You were sure you had paint on every part of you, it was half the fun of making art. The man walked in and you were a little surprised by just how handsome he was. He was dressed to the nines in a suit with his hair slicked back, the sides shorter than the top. He certainly looked like your usual clients but you couldn't remember any of your fancier clients ever bothering to call you, never mind actually coming to see your other pieces. 

The smile he shot you was disarming and you replied in kind as you walked over to him. You reached out your hand to shake with his before retracting it rapidly when you noticed just how much of a poor job the towel had done. He seemed amused if his chuckle was anything to go by and you snorted.

"Uh… welcome. Feel free to look around. I haven't really got prices for these since I wasn't gonna sell them so I'll settle for whatever," you shrugged with a smile. Anything was better than nothing that you were getting by keeping them here. Besides, you were pretty sure he wouldn't even like any of them. 

You didn't want to crowd him as he looked around so you went right back to your easel and sat on the stool. He walked around leisurely, stopping at each piece and looking at them. Your eyes kept flitting to him without meaning to, you weren't sure if it was how attractive he was or the nerves of having someone assessing your work this way. Maybe both. He didn't strike you as an art kind of guy honestly. Most of the rich clients weren't, they just wanted a statement piece for their walls for people to talk about. There wasn't anything wrong with that of course, but you'd be a liar if you said you didn't miss it back as a street artist when people bought a piece simply because it spoke to them and they loved it. Onwards and upwards though, right? 

"So… who's the friend? That told you I had stuff here?" You asked after a moment, unable not to because your curiosity was getting the better of you. He glanced over at you from where he stood and smiled. 

"Curtis," he replied. Your eyebrows raised a little with that information. You'd met Curtis back when you were a street artist and he bought something for the group he was running. He was a nice guy and he checked in every so often with you. You wouldn't say you were friends but you really liked him and you had some good conversations. You couldn't imagine Curtis being friends with this man though.

Noticing the shock on your face, the man chuckled.

"We served together when I was in the marines. He's a good guy, one of my closest friends," he supplied. 

"You were a marine?" You hadn't meant to ask like it was such an absurd notion but it came out anyway. You just hadn't expected it He looked amused though and he nodded.

"Yeah. When I got out I set up my own private military firm, ex military people with no purpose. I give 'em somethin' to fight for. A brotherhood. We're doin' pretty well," he had a bright smile on his face, gesturing to his suit when he said they were doing well and you found yourself smiling back. 

"You must be really proud. It's amazing that you're doing that for them. I mean… I never served or anything but Curtis tells me about some of the guys from his group sometimes. I bet you really help them," you said sincerely. You had no clue what it must be like to serve and you knew you didn't have the stomach for it. But some of the things Curtis had told you had made you sad and you were impressed that the man had set up something like this on his own. Something to help others just like him. He shot you another smile before going back to looking at the artwork and you couldn't take your eyes off him. 

Figuring he'd catch you looking at him, you forced yourself to focus on adding more gold to the art you were working on. You weren't sure how long had passed until he spoke again and it startled you. You'd almost forgotten he was there.

"This one is… interesting. I like this one," he mused, eyes on the work on your easel as he stood beside you. Your cheeks tinged a little pink at the phrasing he used but you recovered quickly. 

"Thanks. I like this one too but… it won't end up on the website. The last erotic piece I put on there apparently offended people," you said with a wry grin. He laughed, the sound low and short but his eyes went to you then. Holy shit, his eyes are… wow. 

"Well it definitely doesn't offend me. How long will it take to finish?" He asked as his obsidian orbs went back to the painting.

"A couple of days at most. It's almost done and then it needs to dry and be sealed," it was nice talking about your work with someone, even as mundane as when it would be complete. You missed that interaction since you got the studio.

"I'll take it. How much?" he flashed you a smile that made your stomach flip around on you and you bit your lip with a smile back. 

"That's up to you," you shrugged. You never bothered putting prices on pieces you knew you wouldn't sell and you hadn't expected to sell this piece. Even the prices on the website felt too much for you but it was born from the first wealthy clients and what they thought your pieces were worth. You just rolled with it, it wasn't like they'd miss it, right? 

He hummed, the sound deep in his throat as he got out his wallet. You mused he must want it mailed to him when it was done for him to pay now rather than later but you were happy it was cash and not card. He handed you some bills and you counted it quickly, eyes widening as you blinked up at him.

"I can't take this. This is more than the pieces online," you frowned, holding out the money back to him. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, shrugging his shoulders.

"You said it was up to me," he replied with an easy smirk. Would you really sit there and argue with him about getting more money for it? No. But you were shocked he thought it was worth that much. 

"I… thank you, sir," you smiled, stuffing the money into your pocket. 

"Billy," he clarified, smirk still in place. 

"Billy," you corrected with a shy smile. Something glittered in his dark eyes as you tested the sound of his name and he raked his teeth over his lower lip. Despite the fact you'd already given him your full name on the phone, you gave him your first name again  and he mimicked you as he tested it out. Why did it sound so good coming from his mouth? 

You cleared your throat, his intense stare was getting a little too much and you stood, walking over to the big table against the wall, grabbing a pen and pad. 

"You can leave your details, I can mail it to you when it's done," you handed them to him and he twirled the pen around in his long fingers with ease.

"I'll leave my number. I'd like to come pick it up when it's done, if that's okay?" He asked as he scribbled his name and digits down. 

"Are you sure? It's not an issue shipping it out," you replied as he passed you back the pen and pad. 

"I'm sure. It gives me an excuse to see you again," he smirked, dark eyes boring into yours as your cheeks turned pink. He chuckled and with that he was out the door and you were left stood there gaping where he went. Did he really just…? 

You stood there a moment longer, a smile working its way onto your face before you shook your head and sat back down at your easel. You glanced at the painting before setting to work and getting it finished. You couldn't wait for it to be done so Billy would come back. He was intriguing and you found yourself thinking of him as you continued your work. 

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

Parker

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Genre: AU 

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: There’s a new Spider person in town and it’s not Parker.

A/N: This is a continuation of the Parker story that I posted last year. I’m sorry to everyone who reads and likes my ff, I’m very slow when it comes to writing. I’ve been feeling down for a while and now I’ve decided to try and work on stories that I was already in the process of writing. So hopeful I’ll do better in time. Also I don’t live in NY so streets and stuff might not always be correct. Also I can’t spell half the time and spell check doesn’t always catch things and sometimes I miss words for a sentence to make sense, I never reread my writing I just didn’t in school and so I don’t really do it now, SORRY!!

You’ve reached the phone number of (Y/n) (L/n) please leave a message at the tone of the beep...

Peter groaned as he tried to reach you for the third time wondering when you will be home since you had to work on a chemistry project with him. Even though you weren’t the best in the science area you said you didn’t want Peter to do all the work on his own. You told him to come to your house around 4, but it was now 6:30 and he didn’t know when you would be home. Your aunt allowed him to stay in your room until you came back, he thought it was a little weird she didn’t really seem that worried about where you were.

As Peter looked around your room, he realized that he didn’t know that much about you. All he knows is that you transferred from a different state to New York to live with some distant relative in 8th grade. The both of you would have small encounters with just a small smile here or a quiet ‘hi’ there if you were sitting next to each other.

Then out of the blue one day during sophomore year, you just sat down at the same table as him during study hall. 

---

Peter was working on his calculus homework having not finished the night before, having to focus on his chemistry homework and then having a tiny project for World History, which he had to do all by himself because no one else chose to help him out. He didn’t stress himself too much about the homework, his brain worked fast enough to understand the problems plus his class was after lunch and if he didn’t finish now he’ll just finish then. He was brought out of his thoughts of fast working math problems and numbers, when a loud thud sounded through the library and even louder when it was placed in front of him at his table. He heard the librarian shush the person from her desk.

“Sorry” the person responsible replied back loud enough for only Peter to hear.

Peter looked up to come face to face with the culprit. They looked disheveled, their hair a bit of a mess, their shirt had a couple of stains in different colors on the front. They just had a simple jean jacket covering them from the slight autumn breeze of Queens, New York. You seemed to have noticed Peter’s gaze on your face having turned towards him with a bashful expression on your face.

“Sorry, sometimes I don’t know my own strength.” you said quietly.

“No problem” Peter said with a light smile on his lips.

“I’m (Y/n)” you outstretched your hand for a shake.

“Peter” he said, grabbing your outstretched hand.

---

7:13pm

‘There seems to be no more crime happening at the moment’

“Okay, well I guess it’s time for me to head home then. At least I have far less bruises than normal so it’s not gonna be a big deal when I get home, I don’t want to have to sit through another lecture.” you rolled your eyes behind the mask on your face covering your features. 

‘You seem to have missed a phone call, you have one voicemail from a Peter Parker’

“Hey (Y/n)...um I’m at your house right now waiting for you so we can work on our project. I’ve been here for about two hours now and it's getting late so I’m probably gonna end up leaving since my aunt is probably waiting for me to get home. I guess I’ll just see you tomorrow at school. Okay, bye (Y/n).”

“Crap! I forgot about the project, Peter’s probably upset with me.” you sighed and decided to call Peter.

Nothing. You called again. Nothing. Again and again. Nothing. You tried five times and he never answered, a part of you thinks he’s probably just ignoring you for standing him up. The other part worries that he could be in trouble right now. It is Queens.

“Hey Karen can you do another sweep of the city? Any type of crimes or assaults happening at the moment?” worry lacing your voice hoping nothing is or happened to Peter, sweet Peter.

‘There is no crime at the moment (Y/n)’

“Can you search for Peter Parker? Can you give me his current location?” you ask with a slight shake to your questions.

‘Peter Parker is currently on the streets of 7th and Jefferson ave’

He’s not that far away from me you thought to yourself with a sigh.

You were only a few buildings away from Peter so you lept from rooftop to rooftop, sitting nicely on top of an apartment building's roof looking down onto the passerbyers, everyone in their own world and minding their business. As you were watching everyone walk by you kept your eyes open for Peter, even though he did look like every normal teenage boy with brown curly hair from atop, he did have little charms on his backpack; for one being a Ironman POP! Figure keychain for the opening of the big pocket.

---

You were walking down the halls of Midtown trying to find your locker on the first day of sophomore year. It was kinda difficult with everyone walking to and fro not minding you any time or stepping out of the way just a little.

‘Rude’

Just as you found your locker someone ran into you causing you to drop the notebooks and textbooks out of your arms, dropping to the floor with a loud thud. You just scuffed yourself and chose to open your locker first so you don’t have to deal with the weight in your arms. After trying your combination for a third time and nothing happening, you just leaned your head against the metal doors and just sighed out through your nose to try and keep yourself calm and not cause tears or your fist to hit the metal. 

“Um...sorry to bother you, but do you need help?” Someone beside you asked timidly and quietly.

You looked up from the floor being face to face with someone who was kneeling beside you on the ground stacking some of your textbooks onto each other. He was a boy around your age with a delicate sprinkle of freckles dotting his face. He had glasses on the bridge of his nose and eyes that looked to be brown colored, but it wasn’t his eye color it was the way his eyes looked at you that drew you in a bit. He looked a bit like a deer in headlights mixed with puppy dog eyes that were just looking into yours with some concern and maybe embarrassment coming in since you were taking a long time to answer him and was just staring at a stranger.

You blinked out of your stupor and smiled at him and asked if he could try and place your locker combination for you. Because if you tried one more time and it didn’t work you might actually punch it. The boy smiled at you and was able to open your locker for you and helped hold half the textbooks.

“Thank you for helping me, since everyone else chooses to be rude.” You grumbled out the last bit.

The boy just smiled at you and said it was no problem and then he walked away probably to meet up with his friend.

---

7:35pm

 You still haven’t seen Peter walking anywhere and you were just about to give up and head home when Karen alerted you to a crime in progress.

‘There is a mugging in progress two blocks from here in an alley behind a deli’

You rushed over to the position that Karen sent you and hoped that it wasn’t Peter. Well, it was Peter sadly who was on the ground and shaking with his backpack ripped open and the contents spilling out. The thug was pointing a knife at Peter and yelling at him for money.

Deciding that now was the time to intervene you shot a web to the thugs knife and yanked it out of his grasp.

“You know you shouldn’t be pointing sharp objects at people, what would your grandma have to say?”

Honestly you had to roll your eyes a bit, really (y/n)? His grandma?

You jumped down from the balcony of an apartment and landed in front of Peter blocking him from view. You rose to your full height and placed your hands on your hips, cocking to the right a bit. You turned your head to look at Peter making sure he was okay and safe for the moment, he wasn’t shaking anymore which was good, but he now was just staring wide eyed at you.

“Are you okay?” You asked him

He just nodded his head then looked to your left and pointed a finger, presumably at the thug. When your spider senses went off you just lifted both hands and grasped the thug's arm and flipped him over onto his back making him gasp for air. You then webbed him up to the balcony and had Karen call the cops.

When you were done you walked back over to Peter and knelt down to help grab his stuff off the ground and place them back into his backpack. You then held out your hand to help lift Peter off the ground. When Peter placed his hand in your grasp you might have pulled a little more than you meant causing Peter to collide with your chest and moving your arm to his waist making sure he was stable.

You both stood still in the position for a few seconds before breaking apart chuckling awkwardly. Peter rubbed his neck and you just held your hands behind your back. The silence was starting to become suffocating, so you were about to ask Peter if he wanted a ride home, but he broke the silence first.

“Thank you for what you did earlier.” Peter said quietly

“Eh, it’s no problem.” You shrugged off

You both still stood there not knowing what else to say at the moment. So Peter just took that as a cue to leave since he started to walk out the alley. That prompted you to remember what you were thinking earlier.

“Hey!” You called out to Peter

He stopped in his spot and turned around facing you.

“Would you like a ride? Or even a walking companion?”

Peter just smiled at you showing that the requests weren’t weird to him so you started to walk towards him.

“I could use a walking companion. I would take the ride suggestion, but I’m pretty sure you mean swinging on webs about 15ft or more in the sky away from the ground and I already have a bad fear of heights.” Peter rambled out

You just chuckled to yourself and walked next to him prompting the both of you to walk in silence for a while.

“So what were you doing walking by yourself? It’s never a good idea to be by yourself, especially if you don’t have some type of weapon.” You questioned

Peter didn’t answer right away so you turned to look at him and he was looking at the ground with a slight pout to his mouth. You already know he’s gonna say it was because you never showed up at your own house.

“Well I was supposed to work on a school project with a classmate at her house, but she never showed up for some reason and I was there for about three hours and I told my aunt and uncle I would be home around 8 so I just decided to leave hoping to make it home before it was really dark out. Then I was cleaning my glasses and they dropped, so I had to pull a Velma from Scooby-Doo and look for my glasses. I think the thug was hiding behind the trash or something.” Peter spoke while still looking towards the ground.

You could tell that you not showing up really hurt him, he probably thought you were just using him for a good grade and lied or something.

“Looks like I’ll be doing the project by myself like usual. I just thought that I made a friend, especially for that class since my friend Ned doesn’t share it with me.”

“Well I’m sure she didn’t bail on purpose. Maybe something she accidentally forgot.” You tried to save yourself from looking bad in Peter’s eyes.

Peter just shrugged his shoulders and the conversation ended since apparently you ended up outside of Peter’s apartment. You both turned to each, having yet another awkward silence between the both of you. You took the silence to look at Peter’s features which looked softened in the moonlight, but also harsh with the fluorescent lighting of street lamps. As you were getting lost in Peter’s details Karen rang in your ears telling you that your aunt wants you home in the next 20 minutes or you’re grounded.

“Um well Peter I got to leave, but I hope you have a good evening.” and then you salute in a flirty way at least you hope it came off like that.

As you swung off into the night, heading home to finally relax; Peter was eating dinner with his family and as he was slowly chewing his chow mein he realized what was bugging him for the past 15 minutes, he never gave you his name. He was both curious and a bit worried, worried that you might have been following for a while before tonight and curious because if you weren’t a stalker which he decided to rule out since you have to protect Queens; that means you probably know him from somewhere else. And Peter was going to find out where.

[heartless-symphony]

Meant to be yours

Summary : You get your dream role and Spencer gets a bit jealous

Pairing : Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category : fluff

Warnings : some curse words, semi-nudity kinda ??

Word count : 3,329 (even I am surprised)

Proof reader : @alideetoo (thank u !)

A/N : i'm probably gonna make a serie out of this. Reader will get a new role and their love story will advance ar the same time ! Hope you like it !!

MASTERLIST

From the minute you had walked in, Spencer knew something was wrong. Dark bags under your eyes showed you hadn't slept much - maybe even not at all -and the huge cup of coffee in your hands showed how tired you were. You hated coffee. You always laughed at Spencer for his addiction to coffee, but your relationship with hot chocolate wasn't much better. You always had a cup of hot cocoa in hand, but not today. He recognized the cup from the nearest coffee shop, and he knew that their hot cocoa cups were different. What was in your hands was definitely coffee, and that made him frown. You always found coffee too bitter, too strong, no matter what you put in, and only drank some when you had a really rough night - nightmares, a full night of research or something like that. However, nightmares never made you this fidgety, and there had been no rough case - almost no case, even - in the last days. For once, Spencer couldn't figure out what on Earth could have kept you from sleeping all night. He thought about a one-night stand for a minute, then he remembered who he was talking about and put the idea aside. You never did one night stands, and were more of a "not before the fifth date" kind of girl. As far as he knew - and he knew a lot - you hadn't been dating for a while.

Spence always tried to be discreet about his feelings for you, but he worked with profilers after all. Everybody knew that he liked you - except you,apparently. Morgan and JJ liked to keep him updated on your dating life, trying to push him to finally ask you out. After years of working together, years of pining after you, he should have been able to simply talk to you. But he never had the chance, never had the courage. So he watched you from afar, became your friend but, sadly, nothing more. He got to know you well, and that's how he knew something was wrong.

You walked to your desk, the one in front of Spencer’s, glancing at your phone more often than normal. You sat down and let out a yawn, and it looked like you would fall asleep on your desk if it wasn't for the coffee. Your eyes fell on the pile of case files on the side of your desk, and you let out a loud growl before grabbing the one on the top of the pile.

"You okay ?"

You looked up, only to meet Spencer's worried eyes. You nodded slowly, sighing. "Yea, just fine.. I-" A phone rang and you stumbled around, almost turning over your entire desk to find your phone - which wasn't the one ringing. You let out a disappointed sigh and put your phone down, trying to ignore Spencer's big, worried eyes. He had never seen you act like, and he was actually scared. Scared of you, scared for you. You seemed on edge, more than you've ever been, and he had no idea why. He leaned forward, scanning you, trying to profile you. Spencer knew profiling his friend wasn't a good idea, especially when that friend was the girl he liked. But he was so worried for you, so scared that something was wrong and he just wanted to help.

A phone rang again, shaking him out of his thoughts, because it was your ringtone this time, and you shot up to run out of the room, hand fumbling with your phone. He kept his eyes on you, following your every steps. He rose, almost ready to run after you, to make sure you were okay. He stopped dead in his tracks when he realized you didn't seem scared, worried or even sad, but simply excited, happy even. He watched as your mouth fell open and he could almost hear your happy squeal, one he'd heard a few times before. As soon as you hung up, you did this adorable little dance, making his heart melt. You rushed back into the room, happy tears rolling down your cheeks, and threw yourself onto him, hugging him tightly.

"I got Veronica ! I got the role !" Your eyes were so wide, full of happiness, and you were so close, holding him so tight, that Spencer couldn't stop himself from smiling, even though he had no idea what you were talking about. He knew you did musical theater, he knew you had been trying to get a role - and apparently got it-, but he didn't know exactly what or who this Veronica was. When you pulled away to wipe away your tears, he almost -almost!- let out a sigh, already missing your natural warmth. Your eyes met and you let out a little 'sorry', with your adorable, tiny, cute voice, and he smiled even more. He could feel the excitation going through your body, and that was all that mattered to him at this point. You seemed to quickly understand his confusion -you were a profiler, after all- and you blushed, shyly playing with your hair.

"From Heathers ! I got the main role ! I-I just.. I can't believe it, Spence ! I got the role !" He nodded and smiled happily, even though he still had no precise idea of what you were talking about. He had a brief idea, but that was all. He just knew you got the main role because you had just said it, and he couldn't wait to finally see you on stage.

You had been talking about musicals ever since you two had started being friends, you had even made him watch Hamilton - which you almost immediately regretted, because Spender liked to set things right and spent around two hours teaching you what really happened at that time. He loved to hear you talk about music and musicals just as much as you loved his spontaneous facts and hours of teaching you new stuff, and he remembered everything you ever told him. He was just a bit confused by how excited you were, but he didn't mind. The smile on your lips was all that mattered to him.

You smoothed down your high school costume, taking a deep breath, andglanced around from the side of the stage, attempting to scan the crowd. You found your friends seated towards the center, and as soon as you saw Garcia's colorful outfit, a smile grew on your lips. Spencer wasn't far, as close to the middle as possible, where he would have the best view. He was shifting around uncomfortably, obviously overwhelmed by the crowd, but knowing that he was here, overcoming his fear and hatred of crowds, just for you. It made you so proud, so excited. He was here for you. It made you even more worried, but the energy coursing through your veins was just as scary as it was calming.

"You ready?" You turned around to see Jacob, who had been the chosen one to play J.D. The funny thing was that his actual name was Jacob Dullstorm, and you had all decided to simply call him JD. Compared to his role, Jacob was a really nice guy, who you had learned to get along with pretty well. You two immediately liked each other when you met, and it was a very, very good thing, knowing how close your two characters were. You nodded at him, taking a deep breath, holding close against your chest the simple, black diary. You glanced at the crowd again, and J.D. left to get ready. You closed your eyes and stepped on stage, still in the shadow. When the lights turned on, wrapping you in a soft light, you were more than ready. You looked up and smiled. I was your time to shine.

“December 1st, 1981.”

From the second you had started the show, Spencer couldn’t take his eyes off you. He tried to look at the others, he really did. But you just looked so pretty in that outfit, so calm, so at ease. It felt like it was a second nature to you, to be on stage. You owned it. You were Veronica. He loved the show, he really did. However, the second you took your shirt off in the middle of Dead Girl Walking, his cheeks turned red, his eyes widened, but his fists clenched in anger. He had no right to be jealous, you weren’t exactly his, but still. Seeing you half naked for the first time, in the middle of a stage, while you were making out with some other guy, that made him really, really angry. As the show kept going, he couldn’t focus anymore. He had never seen you like that, this confident, this flirty. Each of your movements, of your lines, made his heart grow. You were made for the stage. However, all he could see was the strange relationship Veronica and J.D. had, his jaw clenching everytime they kissed and, when you weren't on stage, when he wasn’t here, his brain immediately reminded him of your shirtless body, of the way the black bra you wore was holding your breasts, and he wished the hands touching you were his.

When the show ended, it took him a second to realize it. He got up and clapped, his eyes focused on you. When the curtain opened again and you all stepped forward, he almost saw red. You and your co star were so close, you were leaning on him like he was some kind of lifeline and it pissed Spencer off so, so badly. He suddenly wished he was this guy, suddenly imagined you leaning against him, taking his hand in yours. It’s not like you had never done it before, holding Spencer’s hand as you walked back from movie night with the team, but seeing you do it with someone else simply made him jealous.

The entire team waited outside for you when the show ended, ready to personally congratulate you or such an awesome performance. Garcia, JJ, Morgan and Emily kept talking about their favorite songs, about your acting, their favorite characters. Rossi and Hotch were simply smiling, sometimes jumping in the conversation to say something. Spencer was silent, playing the show in his head over and over again, your voice replaying in his mind. He looked up as soon as he heard the door open and your oh so beautiful laugh came to his ears. You were back in your everyday clothes, looking as beautiful as ever. Beside you was standing J.D, making Spencer frown. As soon as she saw you, Penelope ran to hug you, letting out happy squeals that sounded a lot like congratulations. You laughed again, glancing at your friends with a huge smile. They all came to congratulate you, Spencer being the last. He sent you a smile and didn’t say much more, but it was all you needed. You soon pulled away from the group, pulling your friend close.

“Everyone meet J, J, meet the team.” Said J smiled, waving around. His composure was very different from his character’s, and he seemed way nicer, but seeing him so close to you still made Spencer’s blood boil il jealousy. He nodded at the guy, before looking away.

Not noticing his shift in attitude, you grinned. “I’m so glad you all came ! What did you think of the show ?”

Penelope was about to go on one of her famous rants, when Rossi stepped in, raising his hand. “Why don’t we talk about it over dinner ? You must be hungry, Y/N. I’m buying” You nodded, smiling thankfully. You were starving.

The group started walking, debating on where to eat, but you stayed behind a little. Rossi looked back, seeing you talking with Jacob, and he smiled. “Do you want to come eat with us, J ? Any friend of my friend is a friend of mine.”

Spencer almost saw red when Jacob nodded and you smiled, taking his hand. Hands in his pockets, the genius clenched his fists. Here he was thinking he would be able to spend some time with you and the team, like you usually would, but he was wrong and that made him angry. He just wanted to spend time with you, forget those memories of you in someone else’s arms. But apparently, it wasn’t the moment.

During dinner, you felt something was wrong. Spencer almost didn’t say anything, acting really cold and almost pushing you away. It hurt a bit, you had hoped for a bit more, coming from him. You thought he would seem happier for you, but he was cold, almost mean. You guessed it probably wasn’t against you, it might be something personal and he didn’t want to ruin your evening with bad news. Still, you felt a bit sad that he didn’t talk to you, almost avoiding your eyes all along. Once you had all finished eating and started walking away, you waited. Usually, Spencer walked you home, since he didn’t live far and didn’t like to let you walk alone in the dark, but with how he was acting, you weren’t sure he wanted to. You said goodbye to your friends, waved happily as Jacob got in a cab, and turned around, almost scared to see that Spencer had left without you. But he was still here, hands in his pockets, waiting for you, looking down. You smiled softly, happy that he wasn’t too angry at you to leave you like that. You hoped he wanted to talk.

You walked in silence for almost half of the way, you wanted him to start the conversation. You didn’t want to force him to talk to you, it wasn’t fair of you to do so, but you also really wanted to know what was wrong. You were next to each other, both of you looking down, and you almost didn’t hear him when he spoke. “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.” You froze and stumbled on your feet. You were definitely not ready for that. You had no idea what he was talking about. You were as single as could be - you could never like anyone the way you liked Spencer. You didn’t even want a boyfriend, unless it was Spencer. You didn’t understand.

“What are you talking about ?”

He looked up to you and your eyes met, and you both saw the pain in each other’s eyes. He sighed and looked away again, running a hand through his hair. “You and Jacob. You two seem really close.” You frowned even more. Of course, you were close. He was your co star, your friend too. But then, it hit you. He wasn’t talking about friend kind of close, but more. You let out a little laugh.

“Jacob ? Spencer, he’s gay ! His boyfriend is away on business, that’s why he couldn’t be here tonight but- Wait. Is this what it’s about ?” he looked away again, and you gently took his arm, turning him around so he would face you. “Are you.. Jealous, Spencer ?”

You watched as his cheeks went red and you almost jumped in joy. You shouldn’t be happy about the pain he felt, but he was jealous. Of someone he didn’t even know, because he thought you were dating. Maybe, just maybe, he felt for you the same way you felt for him. The idea alone made you want to hop around in joy, but you stopped yourself and looked at him. He sighed, fumbling with his hands, and you gave him time to gather his thoughts, to know what to say.

“I-I might be. I like you. I think i do, at least. I know love, or whatever it is, is a simple hormone thing, the release of what we call the happy hormones, but i-i actually feel it, Y/N, and i haven’t felt this way since Maeve and i just- i don’t really get it. But when i saw you with him.. I just, i wanted to take his place, you know ? i wanted to be as close to you as he was, and i just.. Yea, i’m jealous. I’m sorry, i didn’t mean to ruin our friendship like that but i hoped you wouldn’t realize..”

You bit your lip, trying to contain your joy, and gently called his name. He looked up at you and your eyes met, and it took a second for him to realise that you weren’t mocking him, or hated him, or whatever other horrible things he thought would happen. You took a second to take your hand gel out of your pocket, quickly washing your hands, before gently taking his hand in yours. “I like you too, Spence. I really do.”

His confused frown made you laugh softly, squeezing his hand. He didn't pull away, and it made your heart flutter. You were used to holding hands- you always hand gel with you, just in case one of you needed to feel the other close. Still, this felt different. The secret feelings you had been hiding for years were finally out there, and the air felt lighter, easier to breathe. It made both of you smile, before breaking into soft laughs. You tugged on his hand.

"Will you please walk me home ? Like you usually would ?"

He smiled softly and nodded. He could definitely do that. When he admitted his feelings, he had worried about two things: the first one was, obviously, ruining your friendship, which was so important to him, scaring you away. He didn't want to lose it all just because of some dumb brain chemistry. The second thing that scared him was how fast you wanted to go. He knew you would never force him to do anything, but he also knew you might want to kiss him, which he wasn't sure to be ready for. He liked you, but kissing was so.. Unsafe. He knew his germophobia was considered insane by most people, and he knew you weren't one of those judgmental people, but still.

But you hadn't asked him to kiss you. It's like you were waiting for him to be ready, and it made his heart glow. You both started walking again, holding hands. A comfortable conversation started, and he started asking you more questions about the show, paying you more attention, burying you in compliments, in adoration.

When you arrived at your apartment, you felt a familiar tug at your heart. You hated it when you had to go your own way, and he felt the same. None of you knew what to do or say, you weren't sure if he was ready to kiss you yet, and you weren't sure you were ready either. Your friendship was way too important for the both of you, so you waved goodbye awkwardly and started to walk up the stairs to the door of your apartment.

You felt his hand wrap around yours, gently tugging you back toward him, and turned around to face him, blushing shyly. He gave you a worried smile, taking a step forward. You almost pulled away as you felt his breath against your skin, worried of what could happen. But his lips never touched you. You opened your eyes, that you had closed without even knowing, and a soft smile grew on your lips. His forehead was resting against yours and his eyes were closed. It was the closest you two had ever been, and it felt like a huge step for the both of you. Slowly, his eyes fluttered open, and they met yours. He blushed softly and was about to pull away, but you moved just enough to gently kiss his cheek. You took a step back, trying to fight the red growing on your cheeks.

No words were needed as you waved to him, walking into your building, knowing he was watching you go. Your heart was glowing happily. He liked you. It's all that mattered.