#i want to still like him and support him but now that he’s gone and backed himself into a corner i don’t know what to do anymore

[mattluvr]

CEO!matt, a concept.

💸 what if. . . matt sturniolo was CEO of a company?

at the grand old age of 21, matt sturniolo is the world’s youngest CEO, having inherited his father’s finance company in light of his untimely retirement.

he doesn’t complain; matt has a team of seniors to make his decisions for him, the only thing he insists on chipping in on every year being the annual christmas party. which, naturally, is infamous. it’s what most of the company’s budget gets blown on after all.

in his third year as the owner of sturniolo finances, income in the billions as the company thrived, matt threw the biggest, loudest, craziest christmas party of what he was sure was history, the entire floor of a fancy hotel packed with employees.

and some stragglers. including you.

your brother had dragged you along, overly excited about the first sturniolo finances christmas party of his employment, and had swiftly got drunk and left you to stand like a lemon by the drinks table. which is where matt found you, words slurring from one too many tequila shots, appointing you his newest secretary. one of the only decisions he’s made for the company.

and today is the day you start your new role, which matt obviously can’t remember offering you, but lets you sit at the desk outside his office, head still pounding from the party over a week ago.

“are you sure i gave you this job?” he mutters, running a hand over his face. you nod, tucking a loose strand of your bun behind your ear, hoping you’re still retaining the sophisticated look you tried to construct this morning when getting ready.

“mhm. at that party.”

“yeah, but i did a lot of things at that party.” matt says with a grimace. “like swing from a chandelier…”

you laugh, reminded of the last image you saw before you left the hotel, supporting a tipsy brother on your hip, matt dangling from the structure above you with one arm, hair messy and shirt loose. “that was pretty funny. and impressive.”

“thank you. but not the point.” he frowns, folding his arms, trying to act serious. “i don’t even think i’ve given you any paperwork to fill out. shit, i’ve not even interviewed you.”

“well, you’re the CEO, aren’t you? you can just interview me now.”

matt furrows his brows again, eyes darting to his office behind him and eventually gives in, opening the door for you with a shrug. he often doesn’t interact with any of the people he employs, the whole process too mindnumbingly boring for him, but is now starting to realise why drunk him even offered you a job position in the first place.

you’re fucking unreal, mini skirt a tad too short, shirt just slightly too low cut, and matt is drinking it all in. professionally. of course. he clears his throat, dragging his eyes back to your face with a soft blush as he gestures to the empty room. “take a seat.”

you smirk at him over your shoulder, sitting down heavily in the armchair facing matt’s desk, your skirt riding up as you cross your legs, thighs on display. matt rolls his neck; you’re trying to kill him, he swears. he follows you over nevertheless, sitting opposite and offering you a polite smile.

when your dimple shows in reply, matt doesn’t even think about the interview. “yeah, i don’t know why i did all that. you’re hired.”

“but…?”

matt holds out a hand. he knows this is a bad decision, hiring based off of physical attraction only, but that’s the last thing on his mind. he just wants you out before he blows a load in his underwear, semi poking him each time he shifts.

“you can start tomorrow morning, 8am. i’ll email the paperwork down to reception.”

shocked, you slowly stand up, and matt leans forwards, concealing a groan into his hand. “uh, well, thanks. i’ll… see you tomorrow.”

“mhm.” matt nods, grinning weakly. “yep, tomorrow.”

and then you’re gone, leaving matt alone with his thoughts. fuck. hiring you? he’s screwed.

taglist. . . ( @mattslolita, @aelinslegend, @chrissturniolossidehoe, @mattbrainrot, @conspiracy-ash, @emely9274 ) is open!

[notjustjavierpena]

Inés just broke something in the house, what does hubby and wife say????

Mess (Drabble)

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: Such a fun writing project, tysm. I missed them terribly! 

Summary: Inés breaks a lamp. Javier has the scare of his life.

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader/you (no y/n)

Tags: Family dynamics, Javier POV, fluff, hurt/comfort, i write to fix my own trauma 

Word count: 1.8k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52937182/chapters/137384134

Mess

The stack of folded clothes is growing taller whilst the laundry basket on the double bed is emptying out. Javier is enjoying a weekend with time to get housework done before midterms begin at the local college. He is nervous about guiding his students through the exams for the first time since starting his job as a teacher, feeling like he has only just begun his life as an educator and the responsibilities are overwhelming. You’ve sweetly encouraged him each time he’s voiced his concerns to you, told him that his class is lucky to have him whenever he has mumbled about nerves over dishes or during goodnight kisses. 

With your support, he has found that prepping for the exams is best done accompanied by mindless work and he has gone through several tasks on the list saved in his head; groceries have been bought, gutters have been cleaned, and two full baskets of children’s clothes have been washed and dried. He doesn’t want to admit to you that he thinks about the theories behind criminal behavior while folding Sebastian’s tiny socks. 

You are outside with the boys, enjoying the last months of your pregnancy with a book in your lap, laying in the hammock under the large trees. He checks on the three of you often, spotting that you have put down the book as you sway gently to substitute it with watching your children with a hand on your rounded belly. Lucas smiles brightly as he has Sebastian waddling hurriedly after him on the newly mowed grass. The soles of their feet will be green when they come inside later, marking the floorboards that he has just vacuumed but he doesn’t mind. It is evidence of fun, of love and joy. Messes equals life.

Inés is the only one who refuses to go outside. Her giggles and chatter floated up the stairs not too long again, blending with her little feet making the floorboards creak as she paced around with her hobby horse. It offers a rare kind of comfort to be able to hear her having fun while he packs clothes away into dressers and drawers. 

Until he doesn’t hear it anymore. Instead, it is a sudden crash that comes from downstairs and makes Javier tense up. He freezes to listen for her voice calling for him but only silence follows the loud noise. 

“Inés?” He calls. No answer. The t-shirt that he is in the middle of folding falls to the bed and his heartbeat quickens. 

He walks to the open door of the bedroom, grabs the doorframe, and leans out of it to listen again. He calls her name a second time, this time a little louder and more insistently, but there’s still no response. 

In his chest, his heart has started to pound enough for him to be able to hear it in his ears. Many thoughts go through his head at the sound of silence from the living room, firstly images of broken furniture but then finally the picture of his daughter who has fallen and hit her head. Why hadn’t he paid closer attention to her? Why hadn’t he checked on her sooner? 

He is out the door before he even realizes that he is moving, barrelling down the stairs and taking it two steps at a time. Fuck, maybe he could have prevented disaster if he had gone downstairs the second she had gone quiet. He raises his voice without thinking, knuckles whitening as he grips the banister, “Inés? Answer me now!”

When he stumbles into the living room, he first notices the broken lamp, a shattered bulb lying beside the ceramic base on the wooden floor but with no blood on the shards. Next to it, Inés’ hobby horse lies discarded like it has been thrown in a panicked hurry. He furrows his brow, scanning the room to find her. 

When he spots her through the doorway to the dining room, crouched down under the table, relief floods him. She isn’t hurt, no sign of even a scratch on her, but then he sees the way she has her knees pulled up to her chest and her eyes are fixated on the broken lamp. 

She’s scared not of the crash, he realizes, but of him; his shouting, his loud footsteps, the way he had said her name. She looks like she is bracing herself for trouble - more specifically the anger and disappointment in his voice - and she’s covering her ears with little, trembling hands in a way that is unsuccessful in keeping out noise. The sight of her terrified face makes Javier remember the feeling of being unfairly scolded for accidents horribly well, and his heart sinks.

He walks calmly into the dining room, not even thinking about the broken lamp anymore, and kneels on the floor. With his hands on his thighs, he takes a deep breath to steady himself, “Inés, I’m not mad at you. I just want to know if you’re okay, baby.”

His daughter lifts her gaze to meet his eyes. His chest constricts at the sight of the tears in Inés’ wide eyes, threatening to fall down her cheeks. She looks like a deer caught in the headlights of a car, still immovable. 

“Are you hurt?” He asks softly. 

“I didn’t mean to break it,” she answer in a whisper and shakes her head. She’s always so bold, hilarious, and mischievous but she’s so clearly hiding from him, trying to decide if it’s safe to come out or not. 

“I know you didn’t, mija (my daughter),” he reassures and moves slowly until he holds both hands out to her, palms open towards the ceiling, “It’s just a lamp, okay? Come here, I’m not mad. Just let me take a look at you.”

Javier can only imagine how fast her heart is beating in her chest right now, knowing that he hurried down here with his own racing heartbeat. She must be dizzy from the anxiety just as he is disoriented by his adrenaline. He gestures gently at her, beckoning her to him. 

“I didn’t mean to,” she repeats quietly.

“Lo sé (I know),” he offers her a little reassuring smile, shifting to sit cross-legged on the floor instead, “Can you come out, please?”

With hesitant steps, she moves from under the table and walks straight to him. He expects that he has to ask for a hug but just as she comes to a halt in front of him, she collapses into his arms like they are a harbor in a storm. He squeezes her tightly. 

“I thought you were mad at me, Papá,” she hiccups as her tears wet his shirt. He rests his chin on top of her head, his broad palm stroking her small back. 

“Not at all, baby. You just scared me is all. You didn’t answer and I thought you were hurt,” he explains while pressing gentle kisses to her hair. He inhales slightly, sighing at the way his baby girl smells of love to him. 

“I’m sorry,” she says and practically crawls into his lap. 

“It’s okay,” he replies, cradling her in the same manner as he has done since the day she was placed in his arms for the first time, “It’s just a lamp. Mamá and I can just get a new one but we can’t get a new you.”

“Will you tell her?” She pulls back to look up at him with huge, wet eyes. 

He nods, using his thumb to swipe at the tears on her face, “Yes, I will have to tell her but Mommy doesn’t care about the lamp either. I promise. We care about you. I’ll also tell her that you gave Daddy the scare of his life and made him run down the stairs like a crazy person.”

A tiny, hesitant giggle escapes her and he feels another wave of relief wash over him. She finally smiles and her voice is more steady now, “Silly.”

“Very silly,” he agrees with a smile and runs a palm over her head, threading his fingers through her hair, “But you know what’s not silly though?”

“What?”

“If anything like this ever happens again - if you break something or you get scared - I want you to call for me instead of hiding underneath the furniture. Just say ‘Papá, I need you’ and I’ll be there, okay?” 

She only hesitates for a moment but then nods thoughtfully, “Okay.”

“And hey, te quiero tanto (I love you so much).”

“I love you too, Daddy,” she says, no hesitation this time. 

The two of them stand up from the floor to look at the broken lamp on the floor. Inés makes an uncomfortable face, reaching for Javier’s hand. He holds her hand in his palm, “How about we tell Mom together?” 

“Now?” She widens her eyes but she isn’t crying anymore. 

“Yes now. Watch your feet, alright?” He waits for her to initiate the first step towards the door to the garden. Her eyes are firmly on the floor as they pass the broken ceramic shards. 

Outside, Javier's face is warm in the afternoon sun. There’s a buzz in the air from the cicadas’ singing and the laughter from his two sons. He and Inés find you in the hammock, the book still discarded as you watch your children with fondness but this time, you’ve switched to sitting. 

However, as they approach, your eyebrows knit together when you spot Inés' apprehensive look. You carefully plant your feet on the ground, asking, “Is everything okay?”

Javier glances at his daughter, “Inés has something she wants to tell you.”

She fidgets for a few seconds, looking down at her feet, but when she feels Javier’s hand on her shoulder, she looks up with determination. She confesses quietly but her voice doesn’t waver, “I broke the lamp. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, Inés, baby,” your expression softens instantly. With a gentle touch, you brush a strand of hair out of your daughter’s face, “Are you okay? You’re not hurt?”

She shakes her head, “I’m okay. Daddy said you wouldn’t get mad but it is messy all over the floor.” 

“You’re okay and that’s all that matters,” your gaze flickers to Javier, a look warmer than the sun in your eyes. He feels his heart nearly leap out of his chest but he catches himself in interrupting the moment between you. You continue, “Daddy and I don’t mind messes, do we? As long as everyone is okay.”

“Yes,” Inés nods in grateful understanding. 

“How about you sit here with Mommy while I clean the floor?” Javier finally suggests, “Then the living room will be as good as new and you can play in there again?”

“Yes, please,” she says politely, “Okay.”

“Okay,” he repeats. 

“Okay,” you chime in and kiss him softly on the mouth before he heads into the house once more. 

Yes, messes mean life, and Javier is lucky enough to live in a world where life also means love.

.

.

If you would like to follow my writing then go follow @notjustjavierpena-fics and turn on notifications 💖❤️

[crimsoncandy04]

The cucking scara is so hot, I'd like to see more😍😍😍

Wanderer had been at this stupid game of his for hours now and while his former self had suffered great humiliation from it, you felt like you were the one who actually got the short end of the stick.

Fucked, teased, overstimulated, used, etc. Wanderer had basically turned you into just another tool to punish Scaramouche for his sins.

And even now that you were sure an entire day had gone by, Wanderer was still nowhere close to finished it would seem.

Both you and Scaramouche had had your arms bound behind your backs in the most uncomfortable way as Wanderer kept a fist in either of your hair and held both of you in place on your knees.

You licked the base of his cock and trailed your tongue slowly up his shaft as Scaramouche swirled against Wanderer's soft pink tip with his. You'd tease at his balls while Scaramouche would take him ever so slightly between his lips and suck now and then too.

This has gone on for a while now. With both of you being forced to worship Wanderer's cock as if it were the most pristine phallus in existence and after everything else before this, you were now tired and a little angry.

Why did Wanderer have to drag you into this shit show?

Because he had once liked you a little when he himself was originally Scaramouche?

Apparently it meant nothing now if he was just going to keep abusing you like this to piss off his other self.

Suddenly Wanderer's sharp gaze met yours. A flicker of sympathy briefly crossed his eyes as he saw your exhausted and unhappy expression before he pushed it away and gave you a rather smug look.

"I always knew you'd look so beautiful like this Y/N. Face a wreck, kneeling before me." His fingers in your hair loosened a little as he pulled you to your feet suddenly and slid his arm down to your lower back. He urged you closer to him and before you could process what was happening, Wanderer had forced his lips against yours.

"You piece of shi-" Scaramouche briefly tried to protest before Wanderer shoved his entire length down his throat. Silencing him before he could say more.

Wanderer then began to move his hips a little as he fucked into Scara's mouth while kissing you.

His tongue teased your bottom lip, softly asking for permission to enter before gently pushing in and meeting yours in a passionate manner.

This was the nicest he had been to you since you were brought here by him. You didn't know why he was trying to suddenly get all lovey dovey with you but you didn't want it.

Wanderer could tell.

And he was NOT happy about it.

But it had been his fault after all. Hadn't it? He had been about to confront his former identity before suddenly getting this idea and summoning you there but did he ever stop and think about how this may have effected you?

Not really.

He had to change his focus.

Instead of punishing Scaramouche he would work on pleasuring you next.

That other useless version of him could wait for now.

Channeling the power of anemo Wanderer was able to send Scaramouche tumbling backwards in an instant with his cock slipping from his mouth with a wet popping sound as he hit the ground.

Next Wanderer used his vision to create small "rings " of a sort that whirled around Scaramouche's wrists and ankles at a speed that made them appear completely still as they held him in place on the floor.

Once Scaramouche was safely restrained Wanderer then began to lavish attention on you.

He continued to support your back as his other hand came up tangle itself in your hair again as he held you close.

You could feel his hardness against your exposed pussy that remained unclothed and still dripping from earlier torments as Wanderer slowly continued to make out with you there for a few minutes before sending you tumbling on your back too.

You landed with a small thud next to Scaramouche and tried for a second to sit up but Wanderer had speed that surpassed human beings and in the blink of an eye he was on you.

"Shh, relax Y/N. I want you to enjoy this part a little." He purred as he pulled your knees further apart and positioned himself between them.

Wanderer kisses you again. Moving down then as he left a small trail from your neck to your chest. Stopping as he got to your breasts and grasping one in the palm of his hand. He took the other in his mouth, gently sucking on the sensitive flesh of your nipple and causing you to cry out a little as his teeth nibbled softly in between careful licks.

"They're so sensitive Y/N. And big too. Almost like they were made for this. Made for me~" Wanderer teased as he continued to play with you. Scaramouche grunted a little beside you as he tried to avert his gaze but his excruciating erection underneath his clothes gave away his true desires.

Wanderer was being uncharacteristically nice and it bothered you.

What was he planning?

You could feel his cock at your entrance then.

You felt your body tense up.

Not again.

Wanderer just smirked at you.

"You should have known that I was going to do this Y/N."

He slid his cock into your tight cunt easily. You gasped softly.

"Don't act so surprised. You know you're the most important thing to me."

Wanderer begins to thrust into you. He starts slow until he finds your sweet spot. Then he begins to move a little faster. Hitting your g spot with reckless abandon as his words fell upon your ears like a forbidden truth.

"So in having you like this... maybe I'll finally be able to reach the deepest depths of my being..."

You moan loudly as Wanderer holds you close and continues to pound into you as Scaramouche looks on longingly from beside you. He looks like he's absolutely seething as a wet spot forms upon the fabric of his shorts. Yet Wanderer shows no mercy as he continues to fuck into your pussy while Scaramouche lays next to you both bitter and aroused.

"and finally get a message through to myself"

Wanderer held you in a tight embrace as he slammed into you. Keeping his eyes on Scaramouche who seemed to finally realize that it was pointless to protest at this point and silently waited for Wanderer to finish with you.

You would be fucked for most of the night. Your belly swollen ever so slightly after Wanderer finally gets bored from how much he would ejaculate into your womb as he forced Scaramouche to listen to it all unable to have you himself.

It was a twisted revenge.

A lustful act of self hatred that you were now the key in.

How long Wanderer would want to keep it going?

You were unsure.

Perhaps as long as it took him to finally forgive himself for everything he had destroyed in his existence.

[jakef3ver]

Nishimura Riki | NDA

☁︎︎ Idol!riki x fan!reader | fem!reader

↯ fluff, crack maybe suggestive a little more into the fic, use of social media (instagram, twt), reader is just a regular girl going to school and stuff

⚠︎︎ will contain mentions of alcohol consume later

-Love at first sight?-

“I swear to god Alija“

”Imagine you just want to work in peace and suddenly out of nowhere Jake and Ni-ki from fucking enhypen walk in and order a coffee from you” you say before taking another bite from the pizza Alija made for the both of you.

Alija giggles, “I would’ve freaked out honestly” she says.

“I DID freak out and you know it, but I had to keep it together somehow, you know”

“nah that’s true” she says between chewing her last bite.

“Like, I knew they’d be here in this area because of the concert” you start.

“but I would’ve never imagined that they come to our fucking workplace for coffee” you finish dramatically and slap your hands on your face.

“and the worst thing is” you exclaim and stand up abruptly “rikis hand touched mine”

“WHILE HE SMILED AT ME ALIJA”

Alija bursts out into laughter.

“I swear I fell in love even more” you sigh.

“I bet he’ll recognize you at the concert” she says as the supportive-equally-delusional best friend she is.

“He absolutely won’t” you answer

“Hyung do you remember the girl from the cafe this morning?” Ni-ki asks Jake, as they sit in Jakes hotel room and scroll through their phones.

Jake looks up from his phone and smirks.

“Yes of course”

Riki also looks up from his phone and sighs.

“I can't get her out of my head” he says and runs his free hand through his hair.

“I really wanna see her again, do you think she'll be at the concert?” he asks.

“I don't know, could be possible, she seemed a little nervous when we ordered” Jake chuckles.

“Can we go back tomorrow before the rehearsals?” Riki asks and looks at Jake, hoping he'll go back with him.

“yea I think that should fit” Jake answers him, still smirking.

“Why do you look at me like that?” Riki asks jokingly offended and throws his hands in the air.

Then suddenly he hears his phone go off.



After looking at his phone, Riki looks up to Jake who’s now holding in a laugh.

“I am really not” he whines “I- I just think she’s pretty you know”

Jake shakes his head and starts typing again.

After sending his last message, he walks over to Jake and jokingly threatens to kick him “I genuinely hate you” he says and lets himself fall onto the hotel bed.

“oh come on, there’s nothing bad about this”

Jake declares “Just give her your number tomorrow if you're so down bad already” he continues and shrugs his shoulders.

“No I cannot do that, what if it gets leaked or some shit like that” Riki groans while staring at the ceiling.

“True” Jake starts to speak while sitting down beside him, “but honestly, I guess it's a take it or it's probably gone forever kind of situation” he finishes his sentence.

“But isn't that problematic? What if she's a fan for real? Isn't that even-” Riki replies but get's cut off by Jake “fuck this problematic whatever stuff” he calls out “Nda's exist you know” he adds.

Riki hums.

“Just try and see where it goes, huh” he begins again. “Not everything has to ‘end’ negatively”

Riki nods and sits up. “I guess, yea” he answers while standing up.

“Then tomorrow 11 AM down in the lobby?” he asks before turning to leave the room.

“Sure, see you” he answers “and think about it” Jake exclaims before Riki leaves the hotel room, to go into his own.

His thoughts now running wild.

Should I do it and take the risk?

Would she even be interested?

What if it works out?

What if I'm in love for real?

Wait, does love at first sight exist?

He shakes his head, and rummages through his suitcase searching for the pajamas he packed, before changing and getting ready for bed.

But, he couldn't really sleep.

He turns from the left side, to the right side.

From his back to his stomach.

And again, from left to right.

From back to stomach.

But he couldn't get her out of his head.

masterlist | previous | next

tags: @chaevibes @yangjungwonnie @minskzy @d-dilemma @microwvdstrawb3rri3s @ssiiwave @deadpool15

[xoxochb]

feeling sentimental so can i get hcs of Jason meeting the fam for the first time for Christmas and like. them being really sweet and supportive (cause mine is) n yk ☹️☹️ idk i just want the best for him and also to introduce him to my family

— under the mistletoe, watching the fire glow ꣑ৎ‧₊˚.

♪ ༘⋆ on the radio… christmas tree farm by taylor swift!

warnings: none just hcs! :) pairing: jason grace x gn! reader a/n: I’m not a big xmas girlie but I had so so much fun writing this I hope you like it ☺️

*ੈ🎄✩‧₊

୨୧ okay, so we all know that jason was thrown to the wolves + his mother was a drunk so it could be assumed he never did celebrate holidays let alone christmas with his family or anyone at that.

୨୧ and you, on the other hand, had a loving family that always spent the holidays together.

୨୧ so when jason first told you he never celebrated christmas you were surprised (well not really but still yes) and offered for him to spend it with you and your family.

୨୧ he said yes, solely because you would be there, yet at the same time he was nervous to meet them.

୨୧ it took a lot of reassuring, but eventually you got him to fully agree so on december 25th you took him to your home to meet your family!

୨୧ and this didn’t mean he wasn’t still mortified that your family would hate him

୨୧ I mean it took, like, three mental breakdowns, five minor panic attacks, and loads of comforting words for him to relax.

୨୧ then eventually he calmed down at last.

୨୧ but, when you arrived at your home he found that your family was totally welcoming to him, and happily accepted him.

୨୧ the fondness of your family was nearly unbearable at first, because really you had been the only person who treated him as gently as they did.

୨୧ queue happiness-mental breakdown- part two…

୨୧ anyways, he’s totally got a death grip on your hand the whole day, like at some point you’ll leave and never return

୨୧ and it’s not like he’s scared of your family, it’s just that he likes the silent reassurance that you’re there with him

୨୧ let’s queue the scene now…

you attempt to stand up from your seat atop the couch, though when you stand, you find a hand chaining you from leaving. you turn around with a frown.

“jase… you gotta let go of my hand, angel.”

“how long will you be gone?” you feel his hand tighten around yours.

“I’m literally just going to the bathroom!”

“for how long?”

“I’m just peeing!”

୨୧ he lets you go, of course, because he wouldn’t like it if you wet the couch.

୨୧ n e ways… unsurprisingly, he gets long well with your family members, the same for them who are, by now, begging you to bring him back for every holiday.

୨୧ they may like him more than you…

୨୧ they don’t say it verbally… but there are signs… LOL

୨୧ (you do end up brining him back)

୨୧ and you’re 99% sure your parents begged him to put a ring on it so he’d officially be apart of the family.

୨୧ he’s not saying no to that

୨୧ but, overall, to wrap this up, by the end of the day, jason is pretty sure christmas is his new favorite holiday

[rindreamery]

the apartment we won't share.

it just wasn't meant to be— a bitter sentiment you and itoshi rin had agreed on. you two deserved better, wanted better, but it doesn't change the fact that you two will always love each other. you'll stay stuck, thinking of him, in an apartment you will never share.

itoshi rin x reader - angst, no comfort - w.c. 2k

“it gets better with time,” you always tell yourself.

but the world continues to move around you, and you still feel like you’re frozen in time. your mind is trapped in its own prison— drifting off to a place you can never return to, dreaming of a time when you had everything you wanted. 

you feel like you’re stuck in an empty apartment in winter. the walls are white and barren, and the world outside is covered in a blanket of snow, and it’s like you’re staring at a blank slate. the wooden floors are aging terribly, cracking and lifting, but that doesn’t bother you. it doesn’t make you like it any less. you could always repair it, or maybe you could simply throw a rug over it and pretend that everything was okay. 

it wasn’t perfect, but it was yours, and you guys were going to fix it together. 

it was a blank slate filled with dreams and promises about the future— dreaming of what kind of people you two would turn into, dreaming of what it would look like when it was no longer winter. imagining, as you stared out the window, what the world outside would look like as the snow faded away into a new season, into something else. would the trees outside bloom into cherry blossoms? or would they bloom into peach blossoms? 

“i think they’ll be apple blossoms,” rin had answered, then. “what do you think?”

“that wasn’t even one of the options,” you frowned at him, playfully nudging his side. he frowned back at you, staring at one another— but neither of you could fight the urge to smile. “to answer your question, though, i think it’ll be peach.”

the trees outside were now starting to bloom. the petals were light pink with a cleft on the tip, they looked like hearts, a singular flower on each stem, smelling faintly of fresh sap and honey. the sweet scent wafts into the open window, but you feel anything but. bitterly, you realize: you were both wrong. it was a cherry blossom tree, blooming softly against the fresh green of the grass around it, the remnants of winter having melted away into a fresh spring. 

the world is renewing itself; a rebirth. and it makes you feel somewhat spiteful, it makes you feel as if you’re falling behind. as if the world isn’t giving you enough time to grieve what you’ve lost. and then you start to wonder, it makes you start to think of him again, and you lose all your progress. 

you think of him because you know rin. he overthinks, gets lost in his thoughts, as often as you do. so, does he feel the same way, right now? is he thinking of you too? does he miss you as much as you miss him? but you stop yourself— it’s unhealthy. 

you just find it funny, how time works— how, one day, you could go from planning your future around one another, together. and then, the next, he’s gone and you’re alone. you’re left to sit by yourself in the empty living room, boxes of furniture remaining unopened around you, because they were things you both had decided on. things you both wanted. you couldn’t bring yourself to open them.

and then a flash of green catches your eyes from your peripheral, sitting on top of a box.

“i think this would look cute,” you had tugged at his hand, grabbing his attention, to show a potted cactus. it was short, stubby, in its early stages of maturing. it was perfect. “i wanna watch it grow by our window.”

“yeah,” your eyes remained fixated on the cactus, but his eyes had remained on you. you didn’t see the small smile on his lips, the look of love swirling in his eyes, unconditional then. “let’s watch it grow, together.”

the cactus never really grew, you realize. 

it’s wilting, leaning against its pot for support, the once-vibrant green now fading into a muddier green. it was never placed on the windowsill, always tucked away in a dark corner of the room. stunted by the neglect as you had both grown busy, as you had started to drift away.

time heals, people had always said to you, but you now know that time also has the power to tear things apart.

it's a victim to time. (and maybe, you think to yourself, you were too.)

you’re staring at it until your eyes begin to blur, and then you simply blink away the haziness. you turn your head away, trying to suppress the memories, the questions. willing the what-ifs that lingered in the corner of your mind to go away. but it doesn’t work, and the thoughts keep pushing and pushing, until it's at the forefront of your mind. 

what if i hadn't let him go? what if i asked him to stay? what if we fought harder? what if we had become better for each other?  your mind keeps asking all these questions, but you have no answers. what would this apartment look like right now?

happier— that, you know that answer to.

as you sit on the floor, you think of how it used to be, of what the two of you used to be— images of happy smiles and secret, shared moments float around somewhere in your thoughts. the echoes of soft laughter still bounces around the walls, sometimes, but it's no longer from you. just from a hallucination of a distant version of yourself, dancing around the room. an unfamiliar feeling bubbles in your heart. it feels weird to miss him, but it feels even weirder to miss yourself. is that even possible?

you begin to wonder where it all went wrong. and your mind starts to snowball.

truthfully, you couldn’t pinpoint it, the moment when you realized he was slipping through your fingers— or was it you? or was it neither? maybe just the space between two of you, growing with each day, until the two of you could no longer get to one another. until neither of you could reach each other’s hearts. to feel so distant, with a man you loved and lived with, was a different type of loneliness.

this room, you realize as you sit in the center of it all, has always felt so much larger without him. 

“how many kids do you want?” you were both lying on the floor, staring at the empty ceiling. your legs were intertwined, your head placed on his chest, listening to the constant thrum of his heart. you felt him hum, at your words. “do you even want kids?”

“i don’t care, honestly.” his arm snaked around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “as long as it’s with you, i’m happy with whatever.”

“gross, who even are you? this is not the rin i know.” you joked, and you felt him pinch your side. “i’m just kidding… me too, though.”

the life you imagined sharing with rin, the plans you both made— all of it fades into a hazy, but somehow vivid, dream. you always find yourself wanting to slip into it, to fantasize and live in it for one day longer, to remember how it felt. but you remind yourself: there’s a reason why it ended.

you both deserved more— more than whatever the two of you could provide. 

“i’m sorry,” you remember hearing rin’s distant voice through the phone. “i know i said i’d be able to make it back for christmas, i just— i’m sorry.”

“it’s okay,” you stood there, phone pressed to your ear, as you stared out the window as the blizzard covered the world in snow. you felt cold, despite the walls surrounding you, bracing you from the harsh winds. you felt cold but you understood why, all too well. “most of the planes wouldn’t even land in this weather anyways. besides, i was supposed to go with you, but i couldn't.”

you knew what dating someone like him meant. you knew it would mean having to spend time away from him, thousands of miles between you, and infrequent phone calls. you knew— but you didn’t want to get used to it. you didn’t want to know what it felt like to be constantly disappointed, to sit by your phone as you sat through the radio silence. to feel guilty everytime you wanted more from him.

you just wanted him there. (but you knew that was too much to ask for.)

“i still wish i was there with you,” he had said after a beat of silence, and his voice was softer. “i miss you.”

“me too,” and maybe in a sick moment of clarity, you realized he deserved someone who didn’t need him; not as much as you did. i wish you were here too, but you never said it.

you both deserved more— something the two of you would never be able to give to one another. 

what if i had tried? another question, straggling after the torrent of many others you had asked yourself.

but you shake your head, because you know the answer. trying wouldn't have fixed anything.

you still wished it was different. words would never be able to explain how you feel; the deep stinging in your heart, the tugs at your heartstring, the feeling of pain that shoots through your fingers when you think too deeply of him. words would never be able to explain how much you wish that it didn’t have to be like this. 

you think that maybe the weight of the future was too heavy for the both of you, maybe you two just weren’t ready for whatever you had dreamed of. rin, driven by his ambition, his thirst for greatness, and you—stuck between wanting him to be everything he dreamed of but also wanting to be the one he chose. 

you didn't want him to choose, so you chose for him.

it was at the peak of winter when it all fell apart in your hands. “i think… i think it’s been a long time coming, honestly.” you had laughed bitterly, you laughed even though your heart felt like it was being ripped into two. your voice was soft and broken, like you were already grieving, and the raging blizzard outside threatened to drown you out. “i just want you to be happy. but, i want me to be happy too.”

you both stand in the middle of the room, still as unfurnished as when you had both bought it.

“i’m sorry,” was all rin could say. but he couldn’t even look at you. his fingers were intertwined with yours, hands shaking as he held onto you, but he couldn’t meet your eyes. “i’m sorry i couldn’t be enough for you.”

you couldn't look at him either.

you stared out, blinking away the tears that pooled in your eyes. you wanted to speak, you wanted to tell him that it wasn’t just him— but the words all felt like they were stuck in your throat. constantly gulping back the barrage of tears, soothing yourself, too afraid to cry in front of him. 

afraid that if you did, he would want to take it all back. to take you back. to hold you in his arms and tell you that this was a mistake. 

and that you would cave, and repeat the cycle.

you knew, then, that love wasn’t enough to hold you both together— not when you were both chasing different versions of happiness for one another.

maybe, your dreams had never aligned to begin with.

but that’s what made it hurt more. the fact that you could never truly hate him for leaving like he did, because you did too. you could never hate him for wanting better, for reaching for something more than what you could give him. because you wanted it too. maybe not the same dreams, but you wanted to be someone who could stand beside him, strong enough to handle everything he was destined for. you wanted to be the one to hold him when things got tough. but you couldn’t pretend to be that somebody for him. 

so you let go.

not because you stopped loving him, but because you loved him enough to let him go. you still love him, and maybe always will, even as you learn to live without him. you'll always think of him when the snow first comes around, and when the trees start to bloom. it’s a kind of love that doesn’t fade, the kind that sticks with you forever, no matter how much you wish it would. 

the world continues to move around you, as it always does, indifferent to the memories you carry. maybe you’ll always wonder what could have been, dream of an apartment you’ll never share, for the future that was never for you two to have. 

the world will continue to move, and you know that, eventually, you will too.

note. i was listening to "the apartment we won't share" and "seasons" non-stop while writing this. i just needed to write something sad LMFAO

© rindreamery, 2024

tags. @choccorin @mininji

[howlingday]

Pyrah reaction to jaune going on a date with Cinder.

"See you guys, later!" Jaune called as he walked out the dorm.

"Later, Jaune~!" Nora sang. "If you don't come back, we're gonna assume the best~!"

"I feel like we're going to call him at some point," Ren amended to his partner, "just to make sure his date is going well."

"And mess up his groove?!" Nora gasped in offense. "Never! Right, Pyrrha?"

"Uh-huh..." Pyrrha mumbled as she watched Jaune walk down the hallway. When her partner came to her with the news of him going on a date, she responded the same way she did when he was going to ask Weiss to the dance; she was supportive, swallowing her pride and trusting in Jaune's decision, even if it meant losing him forever. "Yeah..."

"See? She agrees with me!" Nora beamed.

"Are you sure you're okay with this, Pyrrha?" Ren asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. She flinched and looked at him with instinctive panic. He quickly removed his hand, keeping it close to his chest. "Pardon me."

"No, no, it's fine." Pyrrha sighed.

"Is it, though?" Nora asked. "I mean, Jaune is your partner and, well..."

"Well, what?" Pyrrha huffed, turning away from the door. "That I would be jealous of Jaune's date because I may have feelings for him? That by letting Jaune go, I've forever doomed myself to the infamous friend-zone, leaving feeling alone and vulnerable for the first time in my life since meeting Jaune?"

Nora and Ren looked to each other, then to Pyrrha.

"I mean, yeah, kinda." Nora answered.

"Well, that's not true at all!" Pyrrha went to her closet, quickly grabbing her huntress outfit. "In fact, I am completely independent, and I don't need Jaune to keep myself occupied!" She darted into the shared bathroom, almost bulldozing her remaining teammates in her way. "In fact, I'll use this time to better myself!" She shouted from the bathroom. It swung open and Pyrrha quickly passed the two and stepped outside the dorm. "I'll use this time to improve myself! To make myself a better huntress!"

As the door shut behind her, Nora and Ren were left to look at each other in stunned silence.

"Uh, should we go make sure she's okay?" Asked Ren.

"You can," Nora offered, "but I know better than to get in that girl's way!"

--------------------------------------------------

Why was she doing this? Was this really what she should be doing? Would this be considered a tantrum? This really felt like a tantrum. After all, what would Jaune think?

Pyrrha shook her head after pulling her sword free of recent drone victim. She shouldn't have been having thoughts like this. After all, Jaune was his own person, so she shouldn't be so concerned about him, much as she wanted to be. He won't always be around, so it makes sense for her to be independent from him now and then. After all, she didn't want their partnership to develop into a codependency.

Or maybe she did? Much as she wanted to be more than just Jaune's partner, there was a part of her that also wanted to keep the status quo of their relationship. It's better to play it safe with what you already know and are used to, right? After all, Pyrrha had always been Pyrrha before Jaune's arrival in her life, and she'll be that way after Jaune was gone from it.

To spend time with Cinder. To care for Cinder. To leave Pyrrha behind to wed, and have children, and grow old, and become legends with Cinder. After all, Jaune chose Cinder, and Pyrrha would accept what, or whoever Jaune would choose.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Invincible Girl?"

"Hello, Cardin." Pyrrha greeted flatly. The former bully may have been forgiven by Jaune, but the rest of the team had all agreed that the feeling was not spread mutually throughout the rest of his friend group. "Are you also training?"

"Nah, no need to." Cardin grinned. "No need to improve on perfection, right~?"

"No." Pyrrha scowled, walking to the drone service station. What little drones that remained would be deployed from here while the drones still on the training ground would be relocated to the basement level, where they would be restored to fighting capabilities... if it were possible to do so. "There's no such thing as perfect, and if there was, it would have to be maintained to keep it's 'perfect' status."

Cardin chuckled. "Well, I guess you would know that, wouldn't you?" Oh no... He was hitting on her, wasn't he? "So maybe you could help me maintain my perfection? Teach me a thing or two?"

Pyrrha was about to send out drones, with or without Cardin in the arena when a thought came to her. "Okay, Cardin. I'll make you a deal." She stepped away from the podium. "If you can beat me, I'll help train you to... keep your perfection."

"I'm not an idiot, Nikos." Cardin snorted. "You could beat me bare-handed!"

"Could I?" Pyrrha asked. "We can test that right now with me not using any weapons."

"Hmm..." Cardin squinted his eyes. "And what if you win?"

"Oh, I think the workout will be more than enough for me."

"Hah! Alright then!" Cardin grinned. "Get ready to lose, Pyrrha!"

--------------------------------------------------

"I... I can't believe I lost..." Pyrrha whimpered pathetically.

"Believe it, Nikos." Cardin chuckled. "Now, about my training..." He curled his finger under her chin. "I think I know where to start~."

"Fine..." Pyrrha groused, her face flush with defeat.

"Heh heh..." Cardin chuckled from inside the trash can. "Yeah..."

"HAH!" Pyrrha huffed, walking out of the gym, victorious. "I was right. I am far from perfect." She smiled back to Cardin, his legs limply dangling from the bin. "Thanks, Cardin! I'll be sure to let your team know where you are." She giggled. "If they ask."

"If who asks?"

"Jaune!" She flinched, seeing her partner walking up to her. "Oh, uh, I was training and, well..." She then noticed the mess he had all over him. "What happened to you?"

"It's..." Jaune sighed. "It's a long story."

"Well, you can tell us back at the dorm."

"Uh, actually..." Jaune rubbed the back of his head. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"She was that bad, huh?" Pyrrha prodded as they walked.

"Well, no, but..." Jaune pursed his lips. "I guess we were just... incompatible."

"Incompatible how?" Pyrrha asked as they climbed the steps. "Er, if you don't mind me asking."

"Well, she..." He stopped to think for a moment. "She wasn't really that interested in me. And whenever I asked her about her life, she'd get all defensive."

"Well, it is her life." Pyrrha nodded.

"Yeah, but... When I asked her about where she wanted to eat, she called me an idiot for not planning that far ahead."

"Oh, really?" Pyrrha raised a brow. "Well, what was your plan?"

"Well, I didn't really have a plan because I thought she was doing all the planning. I mean, she was the one who asked me out."

"Hmm..." Pyrrha pursed her lips this time. "I think you two should have talked about it."

"If I could, I would- WHOA!" Jaune slipped, suddenly finding his hand caught mid-air by Pyrrha. "Thanks." He smiled.

"No problem." She smiled back as he stood on his own feet again. "What were you saying?"

"I was saying-" He looked down, seeing he was still holding her hand. "Oh! My bad!" He yanked his hand away.

"No, no! I'm sorry!" She held up her hands defensively.

Jaune's smile fell a bit. "Actually, now that I brought it up, she actually got mad at me for apologizing. Said something like, 'apologies are excuses for incompetence'."

"She sounds..."

"Mean? Bossy? A total pain?"

"I was going to say, 'difficult to work with'," Pyrrha giggled, "but those work, too."

"Heh... Yeah..." It was then that they arrived at their dorm. "Can't wait to get out of these puke-covered clothes."

"Oh, did she do that to you?"

"No, I just didn't make it to the trash can on the way back." He chuckled. He then sighed. "Honestly, Pyrrha, I kinda wish we went out instead."

At this, Pyrrha perked up. "R-Really?!"

"Yeah," Jaune nodded as he entered, "I feel like hanging out with my best friend would have been better than wasting my time getting yelled at for a few hours." He walked into the bathroom.

"Jaune!" She shouted, suddenly noticing Ren and Nora were in the room, staring at her. Regardless, it was now or never.

"Er, yeah, Pyrrha?"

"Would... Would you like to go out with me then?" Ren and Nora looked at her with wide eyes, slowly turning to Jaune, both almost shaking with anticipation.

"Uh... No thanks, Pyrrha."

And just like that, all of Pyrrha's hopes had been shattered. She wanted to cry. She wanted to fall to her knees and break down. She'd already let her guard down to ask him, so she might as well let it all out completely. But while she was looking at him, she couldn't. Not while he was looking at her, she couldn't.

"Tonight was rough as it was." Jaune scratched his head. "Maybe next week would be better."

"Okay." The door shut and Pyrrha sat down on her bed. Suddenly, Ren and Nora were in front of her. She waved them off like pestering gnats. "Not now, please..."

"Uh, yes, now!" Nora took hold of Pyrrha's hand with both of her own.

"Did you hear what you two just said?" Ren asked.

"Of course I did." Pyrrha sighed. "He said, 'No thanks, Pyrrha.' Hah... At least he was up-front and honest with me."

"Pyrrha..." Ren took hold of the champion's shoulders. "What did he say after that?"

"He said tonight was rough and that... next week... would... be... better..."

Pyrrha threw off the two and scrambled for the opposite end of her bed. Taking hold of her pillow, she squealed her delight into the cushy, feathery bedrest. Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Jaune was doing the same into a bath towel as he realized what he'd just said to her.

--------------------------------------------------

"Yo, Cardin! You in here?" Russel called with his following. "You think he went to a diner?"

"Ugh, no way!" Dove waved his hand as Lark stood close behind him. "No way he would eat that trash!"

[tiredandoptimistic]

I've been thinking a bit about Comrades In Arms, and I want to talk about bow Margaret's behavior towards Hawkeye once she thinks they're A Couple sheds a lot of light on how she views her place in romantic relationships.

Firstly there's the obvious thing that she's so focused on a potential serious relationship that it doesn't really occur to her to see things the way Hawkeye does (friends can have sex sometimes and don't need to make it weird afterwards). Margaret is no stranger to casual sex, but this blending of sex and a strong emotional bond with an absence of romance seems to throw her off. She and Hawkeye are good friends, they're clearly attracted to each other, why shouldn't he be her next great love? Sure, he's not the type of guy she ever pictured herself being with or even felt super interested in, but Frank and Donald were far closer to her tastes and they both turned out terribly.

Secondly, I think it's very important to note how completely her behavior and attitude change after she and Hawkeye have sex. Part of it is probably just her feeling genuinely optimistic about her love life for the first time in a while, blending with general exuberance over not dying in the shelling overnight; but I think a lot of it comes from her mentally shifting Hawkeye from a friend to a romantic partner. We see with Frank, Donald, and Scully that Margaret is more than willing to change herself to suit the needs of her lovers. I'd even go so far as to say that a lot of her arc is about learning to stand up for what she wants in a relationship, rather than just slipping into the submissive wife role.

I've talked about this in other posts, but I think it bears repeating that Margaret yearns for love and affection and since it's the early 1950s she believes that the only way to find that happiness is by conforming strictly to gender roles when it's expected of her. She's too feminine to be content as a full time soldier, too masculine to be content as a full time housewife. Rather than trusting that she can find a unique path that works for her, she lets herself change to fit the narrow view her society holds on gender. She likes Scully, Scully likes housewives, so she'll act like a housewife when she's with Scully because the alternative is being alone. Simply put, I'm not sure that Margaret really believes that anyone will truly love her for all that she is. Now of course this mindset is something she grows out of, and in that Scully episode she ends up telling him off and giving up on that relationship because it's not worth being with someone who would force her to keep changing and changing herself to fit his ideals. Still, she doesn't have that perfect partner who will love her in all her complexity.

Going back to the episode with Hawkeye, I find it fascinating that Margaret slides so cleanly into this supportive girlfriend role. She's immediately endlessly complementary to Hawkeye and acts like all his ideas are brilliant and all his jokes are hilarious, because that's how she thinks you get a man to stick around. The problem is, for all his issues with misogyny, Hawkeye doesn't actually want a doting yes-woman who agrees with everything he says. He's made uncomfortable by Margaret acting this way, because the real reason she's one of his best friends isn't because she's hot; it's because she's Margaret. He loves her for her genuine personality, which is why they're only really to fully click once Frank is gone and she's no longer dampening herself to fit with him.

Ironically, in trying to make herself more romantically palatable to Hawkeye, Margaret instead becomes totally unappealing. She's so completely unused to the idea that someone could be into her for her, she thinks that step one in a relationship is to embrace all of her most extreme femininity because she thinks that's the only type of woman who can be loved.

In the end, I'm really happy with the way Margaret and Hawkeye's relationship turns out. They have an extremely close friendship that isn't devoid of romance, but at the same time neither of them actually wants to be together as a couple. Margaret never needs to change herself for Hawkeye, and in fact the more she embraces her own convictions the more deeply he cares for her; but that doesn't mean that they're actually suited romantically. They fit into each other's lives in a different way, which is something Margaret isn't used to. I don't think she fully realized that she could have deep relationships with men other than a husband, so I truly adore seeing her open up to other members of the 4077th and building those bonds with Hawkeye, BJ, Charles, Klinger, and Colonel Potter. Putting up a tradwife facade only works in prolonging relationships that should never have lasted in the first place, and by the end of the war she's moved past that by learning how to love herself and building up a support system of people who embrace all of her contradictions.

[a-substantial-trash-pile]

mouthwashing responsibility au rambles below cut 🫡

(spoiler warning for the actual game obviously)

- even though jimmy got deservedly knocked out by anya and thrown into the cryopod early on, the crash still does happen. it's a freak accident this time, like maybe a piece of space debris just happened to hurtle right into them without time to dodge. it's like the tulpar is destined to crash. but this time it's a story about a group of people finding hope and strength in each other and finding what they themselves can be capable of in a time of crisis. btw i just mean curly, anya, swansea, and daisuke. i am NOT repenting jimmy. he ain't "fixing" shit.

- i'm sorry for frying curly again even though this is supposed to be an au with a happier ending 😭 the way his loss of autonomy reflects anya's own loss of it, making him feel firsthand the suffering she went through in a way, felt too important to just remove. curly's injuries aren't as terrible as in the original timeline since swansea rescued him earlier. and by "not as terrible" i mean he only loses a leg and not all of his limbs. he will get some function in his hands eventually and anya teaches him sign language to help him communicate (she teaches the others too).

- speaking of anya, she really shows her stuff as a nurse (even in the original timeline she does, managing to keep curly alive like that). she treats curly and swansea and is much more of a pillar of strength for the crew than she herself realizes. pre-crash and post-jimmy-getting-fired, she was able to relax and open up more with everyone, building a stronger bond. when the crash happens, anya is of course terrified and hella stressed, but now she knows she has people who have her back, and it helps. she can be more confident in herself without a certain someone being there to belittle and hurt her. this time when she has to deal with something difficult, something traumatizing, she has people to support her. in this au, she is not pregnant because if she was, i don't see how keeping the baby would be a good thing for her. and i don't want her to have to deal with that situation without the proper medical supplies on top of everything else. she's been through enough.

- btw there is no shipping in this au. i personally really don't see how it could happen between anyone on the crew. if there was some sort of spark between anya and curly, it's definitely gone now and won't happen again. the most they'll be are friends (although the friendship/trust will have to be built from the ground up again after everything that's happened with jimmy). the only ship here is the tulpar.

- i know daisuke is seen as a "dumb kid" but i really don't think that's the case. we are seeing him thru jimmy's perspective mostly after all and jimmy is the definition of an unreliable narrator. i headcanon daisuke as having adhd like me who tends to lose focus on tasks easily because your brain is just going 102929 miles a minute and wandering to all sorts of places like me. he feels like someone who doesn't exactly know where they want to go in life like me. also he's definitely a hawaii kid born and raised and talks pidgin sometimes like me except i lost the pidgin :(. i'm totally not projecting my asian ass on the asian boy or anything. BUT ANYWAY i wanted to give daisuke more stuff to do and a chance to prove to himself that he can do these things, he can step up. so that's partially why i made swansea burn his hands rescuing curly. daisuke can now be filled with Determination and be swansea's hands in repairing things as he heals. it's going to be hard and it's going to be frustrating for both parties and sometimes they'll get upset at each other. but it will inevitably be a great bonding experience for the two. i cannot resist the call for more father-son moments.

- swansea my beloved. i am so sorry for burning your beautiful hands please forgive 😔🙏 i have to make my faves suffer a little. swansea's hands will heal up eventually and he'll be able to use them again, but there will be scars. i think him having to guide daisuke with doing repairs n stuff on the ship as his hands recover gives him a mission. something to distract him from completely falling into despair and alcoholism. that man is hanging on by a thread but by god he's going to help get these kids through this. they've all grown closer since jimmy was sacked and swansea feels a sort of responsibility towards protecting anya, daisuke and curly as the oldest one there. it's the dad instincts y'know? on the real hard days, sometimes swansea thinks about cracking open a bottle of mouthwash, but he holds back because he feels he needs to stay strong for the crew. however he does have to learn that he can't shoulder everything and that he can rely on others. him having no choice but to have daisuke take over his tasks is a good way for him to learn that, i think. swansea is definitely a pillar of strength in this and the rest of the crew have a lot of affection for him (and vice versa even if swansea won't admit it). can you tell i really like swansea. he is such a foil to jimmy—a guy who has fucked up a lot in his life but actually acknowledges his mistakes and is trying his hardest to be a better person. aghh swansea i love you 💛💛

- after the crash happens, the cryopod room becomes inaccessible, so nobody is able to check on the state of jimmy in there. so they don't see that the crypod he's in eventually fails from damage and he escapes. this happens a couple weeks into the crash. jimmy is still pissed about everything and still can't see how he's done anything wrong (this is because he is a delusional asshole). in fact, he feels like he's the one who's been wronged and betrayed by everyone on the crew and he wants revenge. there will be a final confrontation between jimmy and the crew. spoilers: jimmy loses. i'm just undecided on who finishes it. it would be fitting if anya shot him, but i'm not sure that's something she'd necessarily want to do. she chose to be in the medical field after all. don't get me wrong, i think she would pull the trigger if it meant protecting the others. but i'd hate to have her kill, because even if jimmy deserves it, anya is a healer and would still probably feel guilty about it. i don't want to put even more shit on her plate. so i think swansea is the one to put jimmy down in the end. with the axe of course. i think he'd feel less guilty about doing it because it's something he's wanted to do since anya first told him about jimmy. oooh what if jimmy gets his hands on the gun, but daisuke tackles him, making him drop it, and anya gets it and shoots jimmy in the shoulder or leg or something to get him off of daisuke, and then swansea comes in with the axe to finish him off. that could be fun. that way anya won't have to actually kill but she'll still get to shoot jimmy. bless.

- the crew gets rescued eventually, but it's going to be a few months because pony express is a nightmare company. i'm honestly still not sure if pony express is even the one who will rescue them or even bother to look. i'm tempted to just have another ship happen across them by some miracle and help. real tempted to make that ship The Unreliable and turn this into a Mouthwashing x The Outer Worlds crossover quite honestly since both settings share similarities (megacorporations, cryosleep, etc). but idk. it's not like i can just write a fanfic or anything since writing is harder for me and who knows how long it will be before i even draw the idea. it's just yet another self-indulgent daydream for now.

[twomoreseconds]

Arcane theory - The first timeline

Now this might be a bit long so please bear with me. I absolutely loved the ending of Arcane (we win jayvik nation) but there are a few aspects of it that I can’t quite wrap my head around. If anybody has a different perspective than me please do tell I’d love to hear it.

—————————————————————

Now for what I don’t quite understand (I’ve never been good with the logic of time travel)

1. What was the first timeline like? How did the story play out the first time round? Ik time doesn’t work like that and ik about the bootstrap paradox but I’m still so curious. And how did Viktor know Jayce would be the one to save him?

2. How did Viktor know that he was giving Jayce a different rune each time? Is there like some history tab in the Arcane??

—————————————————————

I’ll now try to answer these questions but again it’s all purely my speculation:

—————————————————————

1. What was the first timeline like? How did the story play out the first time round? How did Viktor know Jayce would be the one to save him?

We learn that each time Viktor ends up destroying the world he goes back in time in an attempt to stop himself. He says to Jayce “In all timelines, in all possibilities, only you can show me this (this being the fault of his ideology).” This means he is certain that Jayce is the key to stopping him.

Now as to how he knows it’s Jayce and only Jayce that can free him from his false ideas. I have two theories.

A) He’s literally gone trough ALL other possibilities.

He’s nudged all people in and around Zaun and Piltover in the direction of developing hextech and through trial and error he finds that Jayce is the one. - This has many faults and is more of an idea than a theory

B) In the first timeline that started their loop he had already met Jayce.

If he had already in some capacity come into contact with Jayce and seen his desire to prove himself, his drive and kindness. He would know that that’s the person who’s to be his conquests undoing. - This theory sounds more plausible to me and thus is what I’ll be going with

With this established we can move on to what the first time line was like.

Since Viktor wasn’t there to save his mother, Jayce grows up to be an orphan (I can’t remember anyone ever mentioning his dad). I believe he would still gravitate to becoming an inventor/ scientist, but with no funding he would probably be someone’s assistant or some such.

Viktor wouldn’t have met Jayce so early so he would still be Heimerdingers assistant. Eventually though his illness would start showing and in my mind, Viktor wouldn’t want to die without his life meaning something, without helping the people of Zaun.

I believe he would go see Singed just like he did in our timeline. Singed wouldn’t have the support from Silco like he does in our timeline since there would be no explosion in Piltover, thus no arrest of Vander, thus no death of Vander, thus no Silco leader (presumably).

This would mean that Singed would seek more drastic measures for example hextech. I believe he would have given Viktor some hextech crystals and shimmer, maybe as a part of a deal maybe out of the goodness of his own heart.

I think Viktor would start researching hextech which would perhaps catch the attention of Jayce, leading to them working together on hextech in secret.

As his illness would progress Viktor would again corrupt the core and enhance his leg. This time though since there is no funding for their illegal study there would be no Sky, meaning there would be no accident (don’t even dare to tell me it would kill Jayce I don’t want to even think about that).

If there is no accident then maybe Viktor would use the core on himself sooner. Become the machine herald as he would have no guilt (Sky) making him hold on to his humanity.

If he becomes the machine herald so soon Jayce wouldn’t have much time to talk him out of everything. Not only would there not be enough time to talk, since they met so late their connection wouldn’t quite be what it becomes in our time line.

Jayce would get pretty close though since after Viktor achieves his salvation of the human race and realizes its faults, it’s Jayce who he trusts to save everyone.

Now he would come up with the plan to inspire Jayce sooner, so he develops hextech sooner, so they meet sooner, so Jayce has more time to stop him.

This only eventually works when Ekko buys him more time, otherwise he still wouldn’t have enough time to convince Viktor. (Ekko is the goat fr)

—————————————————————

Now for with the one that makes the least amount of sense to me.

2. How did Viktor know he was giving Jayce a different rune each time?

In episode 9 we are explicitly shown and told that Viktor went and tried all kinds of different runes in hopes that one will give Jayce enough time to save him.

Let’s say he starts with rune A, it doesn’t work so when he’s in the “world rid of humanity’s imperfections” he decides to give him rune B.

Now if it doesn’t work, the Viktor in the past who meets Jayce with rune B becomes the Viktor in the present.

Only problem is new Viktor is here for the first time. He presumably doesn’t have the memories of old Viktor, so how could he know that the rune he decides to try this time isn’t one he’s already tried for example rune A.

How does he know that he’s not already in an endless cycle of going between A and B. Never even trying C.

I believe the only explanation would be that the Arcane is somehow giving him access to all his “past” memories from his past timelines.

Although time doesn’t really work like that. Time is a loop a cycle it doesn’t have an end or a beginning who’s to say that it wouldn’t give him memories of the acceleration rune working.

But I digress since I can’t think of a better solution.

—————————————————————

If anyone actually read it to the end thank you and sorry that it lowkey read more like fanfiction than a theory.

If anybody has literally any other ideas please comment I wanna hear them so bad you don’t even know.

In conclusion going by my theory Jayvik are truly meant to meet in every timeline and Viktor is the direct downfall of Vander and Vanders Zaun. (What a silly guy am I right or am I right)

[caplanbuckybarnes]

The Price of Love (Deanmon)

Summary: you never knew how far-gone Dean had become.

Warnings: angst, deanmon

WC: 935

Read on AO3!

--

The world felt as though it had been shattered.

You stood frozen, staring at Dean’s face—Dean’s demon face, with his blackened, heartless eyes—and it was as though the ground had dropped out from under you. You could barely comprehend the words that had just left his mouth.

The man you loved—the man you had spent years by the side of, fighting, loving, struggling with—was gone.

He wasn’t the same anymore.

Dean Winchester, the man you thought you knew, was now something twisted, something corrupted, something else.

You had seen it in his eyes the moment the change happened. The coldness, the dark glimmer, the sudden absence of the warmth that had once been there. It had started small at first—just a flicker of something wrong—but now, it was undeniable. The demon that had taken him wasn’t just in his body. It had consumed every part of him, every ounce of the man you had loved so deeply.

And you? You had let yourself believe that he still loved you. That he still cared for you, no matter what. After all, you were his family.

But now, standing in front of you, was a monster wearing his face. His voice but twisted with something foreign. “You thought I was in love with you?”

You didn’t want to believe it. You couldn’t.

Dean—your Dean—would never say that.

But the demon inside him had no such qualms.

The demon laughed, a deep, mocking chuckle that made your stomach churn. It was cold, calculated, and it tore through you like a knife.

“You’re pathetic,” the demon spat, voice dripping with disdain. “I never cared about you, not like you think I did. I was just using you, sweetheart. You were convenient. You thought I was your hero, but I was just a warm body to keep you occupied.”

The words cut through you like a blade, each syllable slicing deeper. Your heart thudded painfully in your chest, but you couldn’t tear your gaze away from him.

“You—you lied,” you gasped, your voice trembling, barely able to hold back the tears. “You—you promised me.”

The demon’s smirk grew, and the sight made your blood run cold. “Promises? You’re as naive as he was. I don’t owe you anything. Not a single damn thing.”

His words were venom, and yet they felt like a slap to your very soul. You could feel the truth of them sinking in, the unbearable weight of everything you had believed being ripped away. The love you thought was real, the trust you had placed in him, the future you had imagined with him—all of it was a lie.

A lie that had been hidden behind that perfect smile, behind that gentle laugh. Behind the man who had held you close and made you feel safe.

But it was all gone now.

You stepped back, as if the physical distance might somehow create a space between you and the crushing reality. You tried to steady yourself, but your legs felt like they could no longer support you. The pain was suffocating, a heavy weight that pressed on your chest, stealing the breath from your lungs.

“You’re not him,” you whispered, more to yourself than to the demon.

“No, I’m not,” the demon agreed smoothly, its eyes gleaming with something dark and cruel. “And I never will be again.”

“Please… please, just let me go.”

The words spilled out in desperation, your voice breaking on the last word. You wanted to run. You wanted to escape the hellish reality in front of you, to wake up from this nightmare where the love of your life was gone, replaced by something evil.

But the demon just smirked again, its eyes narrowing.

“Where are you going to go, sweetheart? No one’s coming to save you.”

You flinched as his words dug deep, but you couldn’t look away. The emotional toll was unbearable, but a part of you still longed for him—the man who used to be Dean. The part of you that clung to the hope that somewhere, deep down, the real Dean was still in there, fighting to break free from the demon’s grasp.

But it was all just a fantasy now.

Dean had been gone for so long, and all that remained was this… thing in his place.

Without thinking, you stepped forward, your voice trembling with what was left of your courage. “I loved you. I would have done anything for you.”

The demon’s eyes flickered with something you couldn’t quite place, a brief flash of something familiar before it was gone again. For a moment, there was an almost human-like hesitation in his gaze, as though he was remembering something.

But then, it was gone, and the demon’s expression hardened once more.

“And I never asked you to,” it said coldly.

You closed your eyes, swallowing the sob that was threatening to break free. You wanted to scream, to beg for Dean back, but there was no one left to hear you.

The demon gave you a final look, a smirk still playing on his lips. “You were never important. Just another casualty. Get used to it.”

And then, before you could even react, he was gone.

You stood alone in the empty room, the silence deafening. The weight of his words crushed you, and with it, the realization that you had been nothing more than a tool, a distraction.

You thought you were loved. You thought you mattered.

But it was all a lie.

And now, all you could do was pick up the pieces of your shattered heart and figure out how to survive in a world where the man you had loved—Dean Winchester—was lost to you forever.

--

please be kind and leave feedback & a reblog!

[crazylittlejester]

honestly so jealous of everyone in your modern au cause god I want a support system like that.

How did sky and wars and twi meet the other links in this AU?

They all have AMAZING support systems and a lot of people who care about em, they’re very lucky aldkkd

(sorry for any spelling or grammar errors)

- Time is Twilight’s dad (uncle who adopted him when Twi was one, so he’s the only dad he’s ever known), and Wars and Sky met him and Malon the first time they went over to Twi’s house. If they hung out at one of their houses while they were in high school it was ALWAYS Twi’s because Wars didn’t want his friends around his mother and Sky felt bad asking his adoptive parents

- Sky Twi and Wars all met in a math class freshman year of high school :)

- Sky met Legend because they’ve been coworkers for YEARS at this point at the same little coffee shop. Twilight knows him because Hyrule and Legend shared a dorm and when he went over there to study there was Legend. Hyrule and Legend now share an apartment EXACTLY one floor below Sky, Twi, and Wars, which is very unfortunate for Legend because he moved out of the dorms because he was previously next to Wars and Sky and was very tired of Wars. Legend and Wars OFFICIALLY met the first time Sky invited him over to the apartment after work to eat, but Legend knew who Wars was because of skating because he saw videos of him and then ran into him in college and decided he was obnoxious and that he hated him. Wars got a bad impression of Legend because Legend immediately marked him off as an annoying idiot and was snappy with him, and they didn’t actually become friends until Sky introduced them to each other officially

- Hyrule met Twi first because they took a class together in college, they’re both in the same science building on campus a lot. Sky met him through Legend one time because Legend left something in his dorm and Hyrule dropped it off for him at work. Hyrule met Wars when Twi invited him over to the apartment to study one time. He met Legend in high school because they were paired together for a history assignment

- Wild and Wars have known each other since they were like 5 and 7 because of skating, and THEY weren’t ever like. cruel to each other, but their coaches kinda pitted them against each other, and Wild started to SERIOUSLY resent Wars once they hit like 13/14 and 15/16 because he was CONSTANTLY getting compared to Wars and literally couldn’t get out of his shadow. He kinda grew up being told he just wasn’t going to be able to beat Wars at anything ever and that made him really really frustrated and he pushed himself extremely hard to get better than him. Once Wars aged out of junior competitions Wild put EVERYTHING into training because with Wars gone he thought he’d actually have a chance, but he ended up falling at worlds and absolutely destroyed his hip, and it was so bad he had to retire because he was scared he was just never going to be able to skate again. He’s recovered enough that he can do simple jumps and run outside on pavement and move around decently okay on his good days. Wars was one of the first people who came to visit him when he was recovering and Wild hadn’t thought Wars actually cared about him that much so that meant a lot to him. They are each other’s CLOSEST friend, Wild was there for Wars when HE retired, and he’s the only one who understands how upset Wars gets when he misses skating. Wars skates regularly still (just messing around and going through old routines or choreographing new ones) and sometimes he’ll bring Wild with him. Wild is the one who films all his tiktoks alskkdk

Wild TECHNICALLY met Twilight and Sky because they’d come to several of Wars’s skating events and Wars had introduced him to them, but he REALLY met them later. He met Twi because after he retired from skating and couldn’t move around well he got super into photography and Twilight works at a zoo of sorts taking care of the penguins, and Wild had gotten visibly upset that he in his wheelchair was unable to see the penguins clearly and get a good shot and Twi was like “this is fucking stupid this poor kid just wants to see the goddamn penguins-” so he let him get closer than Wild was technically ALLOWED to get (not in the enclosure or anywhere really near them, but a back hallway with a full glass wall so he’s not blocked by concrete), just so he could get a good shot of them just the one time. Now that he can walk around again (sometimes with a cane) he will try to convince Twi to let him get closer again and Twi’s like “you know I literally cannot-”

Wild tormented Poor Sky for- months- Sky and Legend work at a coffee shop together and Wild would come in every day and ask for ice water in a mug. And every day Sky, with his eye literally twitching, would be like “are- we have bottled water thats cold- are you sure you don’t want a to go cup???” and Wild would ask again for the mug, and technically there’s nothing WRONG with that but it stresses Sky out SO bad that sometimes he comes home and just screams about it. Imagine his absolute horror when there was a knock on the apartment door and he opened it to find Wild, who was apparently Wars’s old friend he was inviting over. Twi also had a stroke, because how did the penguin kid find out where he lived??? but Sky was LITERALLY on the floor

- Wind and Four are cousins, they were raised sort of together by their grandparents? Wind’s grandma (his dad’s mom) and Four���s grandpa (his mom’s dad) are not married (if that makes sense??) but they are good friends and tried to let the boys hang out with each other as much as they could. Wars used to babysit for Wind and Four and Wild went to high school together, so Four got dragged into the friend group through Wild

They’ve all interacted with each other, Wind tags along because his ADHD ass is sometimes too much for his grandma and he’s 16 so Four is sort of in charge of him, and he knows Wars liked the kid so he’ll bring Wind along. The AU MAINLY focuses on Wars, Twi, and Sky (with Wild, Time, and Legend being the most frequent of the others who pop up) but they’re all friends for the most part (except for Time, since he’s in his mid forties and doesn’t spend much time with the others. He knows all their names since they’re his kid’s friends, and he sees them at events or whenever Twi has a holiday party at his apartment, but he’s the one who hangs out with the group the least)

[ourhomealien]

Don't gatekeep feelings, please.

TLDR

I'm autistic and so I have a unique vocabulary, so bare with me please.

Hermitcraft to me is a community for all ages, that's what I expect of it. In the same way a child deserves and expects to be able to trust and learn from their parents without abuse or them being literal criminals. People are as bad as they want to be, and you can 100% grieve your expectations of them. Disappointment can hurt anyone. In the same way you invest your feelings into pets knowing they will die, and then grieving when they're gone, you can invest feelings and expectations into people you know about and that isn't childish or naive, it's human. Hermitcraft is in no way culpable for an individual's actions. The amount of distress caused by this VC's actions is widespread and not limited, in the same way an earthquake has aftershocks.

I'm genuinely grieving over iskall, The character and the community they built and the stims and autistic scripts I've built into myself because of them. I was shocked on Saturday, but at the same time, after reading that first line it didn't make sense to be any other hermit (I did not in any way predict this) at the time of reading nothing was confirmed so I felt that, innocent until proven guilty, was the way to go. My heart sank, I felt sick and I wanted to cry, I was on my way home from a long day at work and it was the first day of my hormone cycle at it's worst. The first thoughts I had were, 'no no please, it's not true, it's true, maybe it's the bullies again and he can't cope anymore'. Then the hermits started acting and I thought maybe he doesn't want to be affiliated anymore. But that didn't 100% add up. <33 to the good hermits for being amazing.

In my experience being autistic means 75% of my existence is made up of scripts I've adopted and will continue to adopt, from other people around me locally like my family, from movies, shows, and books growing up, to everything I've consumed information wise, this includes so many people, some that at one time were my hyperfixation, these scripts can be unlearnt, and I have another script that helps ('we don't do that here') but it's still a process and It's stressful and unpleasant.

VC was one of the only people I've subscribed to on twitch, I didn't even watch his live stream (they were way too stressful for me, the pay to win quality of his streams was really frustrating) I just subbed to support him. At least to me he had a 'victim' persona especially when it came to the other hermits and their success in comparison, and this translated to me the need to support him more. (He was a hermit for crying out loud, he was fine, I tell myself now), then I read the truth and the pay to win made sense because he Was showing favouritism, after reading K's statement before I was finished I knew M would be involved too and I just felt incredibly sad and heartbroken for them, no one deserves to be treated like that, and people except a certain level of human decency. I'm sorry that this happens and I'm so sad that it has.

He made me feel Grian was a bad sport and that Grian was wrong to be in videos with his friends because he was more popular, that Grian couldn't be sincere in his joy 'because he was always stealing the limelight' (I was 15 at the time and irl was tough and I had bigger problems going on, I loved C! Grian a lot) and didn't trust anyone, so I started to dislike CC! Grian a lot. (Again young n Major trust issues); I like Grian again now but felt uneasy for a long while.

VC always pops at the end of his videos when he says bye and I always watched to the end just because of it, and at a certain point I started associating popping with saying 'I love you' I did it to my family and it's been a part of my autistic script since late 2018. Others include (Hallo, Omega, of doom)

Iskall's Minecraft character is canonically non-binary/agender and in fanworks they use they/them pronouns and as someone who's a fan of mcyt, Minecraft and is gender q, that was a big deal for me to be canonically represented. They also inspired me to write incredibly niche and rare minecraft lore and head canon's for them (them being a villager/player hybrid); iskall's character is a separate entity but the association is horrifying now and that is extremely disappointing, it was the same with William Gold.

VC has made fun of people's differences and difficulties and has been generally rude at times under the guise of humour. He has laughed at people's trust in the creepest way, that even though I liked him I was scared and put off for days, I was so genuinely angry at him, because I felt humiliated. He knew who he was and laughed at our trust in him. That hurts and angers me even more now.

[teamchillidogs]

Oï!!

First, I want to say, I love this comic and genuinely can’t wait to see what awaits for us next ♡♡♡

The premise is such an interesting concept– And the art is to die for, hello?? (all my ♡ to you guys, and I mean ALL of you!)

I just had two tiny questions, if it haven’t been already answered:

If it doesn’t spoil anything, is Sonic still going to be able to run at his full speed with that mechanical leg? Or is he going to be limited? I can’t imagine my poor baby stuck with average speed, but I’m not really sure that this leg is capable of supporting his sonic speed.

And second, mostly adressed to others fans... WHY IS EVERYBODY BLAMING MAH BOI TAILS FOR EVERYTHING?? Like, yeah sure he’s technically responsible but–

Why is nobody blaming Knuckles too?!

Both Sonic and Amy told Tails to come back to the ARK and let Sonic&Shadow handle things, and I think we can safely say he would have (even reluctantly) obeyed and gone back to the ship.

But noooooo, Knuckles had to chime him and told him to make himself useful.

Useful.

To the boy who literally just witnessed his BigBroTM (fake) death in an explosion without being able to do anything abt it.

The kid who just had an entire arc abt gaining confidence and learning to step out of Sonic’s shadow (pun not intented), to be his own person with his own purpose and all that jazz.

The child who’s probably still pump up on the adrealine from his fight with Eggman (which he won if I remember my SA2 correctly).

Knuckles, mah bro, best hot-headed himbo of the franchise. You could not have chosen a worst time to utter these words.

Of course Tails was going to take him up on that and try to ”MaKe HiMsElf UsEfUl”, why wouldn’t he?? He defeated Eggman in battle (Left-over adrealine and possibly cockiness?), and didn’t seem to trust Shadow with Sonic (who, again, was thought Dead literaly less than half an hour ago bc of the Team Shadow was on– Seriously, I can see why he’d like to be by his side when Sonic is again risking his life out there for them)

And franckly, how was he supposed to realize how bad his intervention would turn out to be? It never got that bad before, why now?

#StoptheTailshate #HoldKnucklesaccountable

Sorry for the rambling and the terrible english, but it had to be said, bruh. Tails ain’t even in my Top-5 favorites character, but everyones’ so harsh on the baby, he needed some backup 🥺😭

Hii @sookilini here answering as per usual!

this is the best ask we have ever received and it's honestly my favorite, thank you so much for sending this.

I always get to excited and emotional when i read these things, thank you so much for your kind words <333

ALSO THANK YOU FOR NOT ATTACKING TAILS, he has been DRAGGED TO FILTH I CAN´T TAKE IT /j

So first: is Sonic still going to be able to run at his full speed with that mechanical leg? Or is he going to be limited?

Unfortunately, the people of Marmolim (the planet he landed on) as you may have been able to tell, don't know who Sonic is and are unaware of his speed and abilities. So, the prosthetic leg isn´t capable of withstanding his speed...

Secondly

Why is nobody blaming Knuckles too?

I honestly have no idea why most people commenting did not catch onto Knuckles provoking Tails by poking at his insecurities, I'd even dare to say his ego more so... Tails got into his head "oh I don't need Sonic to get things done. I can do anything, I'm more than just the brains, I can do the action too" at least this is my intention with his actions.

We have to remember, Tails is literally just a child at the end of the day, yes he is incredibly smart but can you really expect a 12-year-old-ish kid to act rationally when put in a stressful life or death situation while getting yelled at by everyone for just trying to help?

Nobody would ever expect a kid to even be in that situation to begin with right? at least that´s what I think.

We all know Knux isn´t the smartest in hindsight...he isn't stupid by any means, but he will say what comes to his mind without second guessing for sure.

But oh well...Knuckles isn´t here to defend himself....anymore...

But there is still hope

[sweetbillwriting]

The Key To His Heart - VII

Characters: AU Bill Skarsgård where his life changes in 2013 and later 2019.

Setting: L.A, 2024 but in an alternative universe with Bill having a completely different life.

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, heavy themes.

Notes: It took some time for me to write this chapter but it feels like inspiration is back and I will have more time in December.

Bill could feel the smile on his lips already when he woke up. It felt like the sun was shining on him even if the dark curtains didn't allow any light in. He could see Sienna's face in his mind just as clearly as if she had been lying next to him, and it made him stretch out a hand to feel if she was there. The only thing his hand met was the edge of his laptop, still upright and opened. Like teenagers, they hadn't been able to say goodbye to each other and instead slept next to each other. They had played some sort of horny, silly game where they prepared for bed together and also could show their naked bodies to each other. They really were like teenagers, and Bill could still feel a stiffness in his member. She was so beautiful, and he couldn't understand why she was so shy about letting him see her body, especially the scar from her c-section. He loved it; it showed a story, a part of her, and he couldn't wait to drag his fingertips over it. He looked at the laptop screen, seeing that she had left the chat. He wasn't surprised because she had probably left her son in school and gone to her other job, as a babysitter to a rich family’s two-year-old son. Being a painter didn't always give her enough money to support herself, so she worked for them when it was needed. He was impressed by how she didn't let her dream go, even if it was hard. Her passion was sexy in his eyes.

Bill stood up from bed, still naked after their little game, and walked to the shower. He couldn't stop thinking about Sienna, so he didn't even think about needing to date six other women. Or now it was seven, but he didn't know that until he walked down to the kitchen for breakfast with them all and met Sandra by the stairs.

She had gone home to take care of her father, who had fallen down the stairs, but now she stood there with glowing red hair in a simple white dress. She was beautiful, but nothing could compare to Sienna, even if she most often was dressed in a big t-shirt and soft shorts when they were talking. Bill once again realized how much he actually liked her; he didn't even look at other women the same way anymore.

“Hey?” He said, confused, while walking down the stairs. Sandra looked up at him with a smile.

“I'm back..!” She sang playfully and turned towards Bill, who scratched behind his ear. One more woman to disappoint.

“Yeah.” He forced a smile, but she didn't seem to notice and stretched out her hand towards him. Bill took it doubtfully and gave her a friendly hug.

“How is your father?”

“He’s okay. Now. Or okay enough, he thought I should come back here, so I did.”

Bill smiled, surprised. He couldn't really see how a father could encourage his daughter to fight against other women for a man. He himself thought his daughters were way too good for that.

“Don't let him be wrong,” she teased and twirled her hair between her fingers. Bill laughed, an acted laugh, but then looked towards the kitchen, where he could see Esmeralda looking at them. A lump formed in Bill's stomach. He really didn't want to fool them, but he felt obligated. He just needed to get this done. The next day he would go to New Jersey and finally have Sienna in his arms.

Bill said good morning to all of them but lingered on Esmeralda, who watched him with a warm smile. She would have been the girl he would have picked in the end; he could feel it in his bones, but everything changed the day Sienna came to his bedroom. He hadn't even given her his full attention before that, but everything changed then and there because he could feel himself becoming the man he actually wanted to be by just being in her presence.

“Do you want some coffee?” Asked Rose sweetly, and he looked down at the short girl.

“Yeah, yeah, that would be great,” he answered with a small smile. Coffee was exactly what he needed. Or a whiskey.

They sat down by his long dinner table for breakfast. He could hear them all small talk but not about what. For some paranoid seconds, he imagined them talking about him and Sienna but shook that off.

“Ehm, Bill?”

He looked up at Tiffany’s friendly face next to him. She looked embarrassed, but he realized quickly it was secondhand embarrassment for him.

“You've spilled some yogurt on your shirt…”

He looked down on his dark blue t-shirt, where now dripples of white yogurt stained his chest. He had been too lost in his own thoughts and sighed loudly. He knew he could be clumsy but had hoped it wouldn't come out in front of the women, and especially not be shown on TV.

“Fuck…” He took his napkin to try to rub it away, but a white stain stayed there and reminded him how bad his situation was.

Odette stopped next to him, looking at the stain then his face. She had an envelope between her fingers but was doubtful if she should give it to him at that moment. Bill gave her a strained smile and took the envelope. Better to just get it done. He stood up after he had opened it and read out loud:

“Good morning! No one has missed that you seven women here again, and we welcome Sandra back to the Skarsgård residence…” Bill looked up at Sandra, and some of the girls gave her a halfhearted applaud. No one was really happy to see her, but Bill was the only one who succeeded in looking like he was.

“To welcome her back, she will be the woman going out with Bill on this day.”

Bill looked up and met Violet's eyes. She didn't look that happy at all, and he had heard from Herman that she was annoyed they would once again be leaving his home that weekend. Bill thought to himself that she would have been even more upset if she knew his plans for the weekend. Bill then looked at Maria, who instead looked at Sandra. He could see irritation in her eyes while Sandra just smirked, pleased. He thought to himself that the competition really brought out the worst in the women.

×××

Sandra is back, and I must go out on a date with her. I don't even know her, really. Is she nice? She gives me a bad feeling, but maybe that's just because I don't want to be here.

He sent the message to Sienna and got a quick answer back.

She's nice, but I think she's been a bit irritated that she hasn't gotten so much attention from you. She seems to be irritated with many of the girls also. And she hated that I always sang haha.

Bill smirked to himself while he dressed for the date. He had heard her sing those times they left their call on while they were doing mundane things. She could hit notes, but it was nothing special. It hadn't annoyed him at all and didn't become more than just a background sound.

They continued their conversation, mostly about Sienna's work day and plans for the weekend, while Bill made himself ready for the date. Talking to Sienna made it easier, and it felt less like he cheated on her.

He met Sandra on the porch. They had been told to dress up, but he wasn't prepared for her to wear a long-sleeved sequin dress in silver. He himself wore a light gray suit and a white t-shirt to dress it down a bit. She smiled brightly at him and stood up on her toes in her silver heels to kiss his cheek.

“I've looked forward so much to this!” She said excitedly and took his hand in hers. It was obvious she was really comfortable with touching him, a thing not many of the girls had been. Bill smiled and hugged her hand in his.

“Me too; it feels like we haven't talked that much, and then you left and Sienna and—”

He swallowed hard. Why did he bring Sienna up? Oh right, because he couldn't stop thinking about her and probably just searched for a reason to talk about her.

“...It has been a lot, but now you're back and things will probably calm down,” he added, laughing a little to cover up his mistake. Sandra smiled and laughed too. They were driven in a limousine to their dating spot, a big yacht decorated with fairy lights; light Sandra's sequin dress caught.

“Oh my god! That's so pretty!” Said Sandra and took his hand while they moved to the boat. Bill just smiled and once again thought about Sienna. He knew she had promised her son pizza that night just because he would be sleeping at his grandma's place the whole weekend, so the two of them could have alone time. He looked at Sandra's beautiful profile and then at the yacht. He would rather eat greasy pizza with Sienna and her little son.

Sandra and Bill talked about light subjects, like fashion because of her work and literature because of his work. She was cultivated and intelligent, but still Bill didn't feel a thing. He had always been a monogamist, and when he liked a woman, everyone else faded into the background. He knew it was what was happening; Sienna had taken over his mind, and in such a short time she had wrapped him around her finger.

“So Sienna also left?” Sandra suddenly asked. It felt like he hadn't been completely present until he heard her name, and he looked at Sandra with big eyes.

“Yeah, yeah.” He answered and nodded slowly. “Personal reasons...” he added and continued to nod. Sandra looked at him in silence. She looked after microexpressions because even if Bill was a good actor, he had shown something when he said Sienna's name. A flash of something had come over his otherwise neutral expression. He could smile and laugh with them all, but this was another positive feeling that was shown in his eyes that she hadn't seen before but that she now could see again.

“Were you disappointed?”

“Hm?” Bill looked at Sandra, trying to win time, and Sandra instead realized she needed to broaden her question to not make it seem like she accused him of something.

“Did you get disappointed when both of us left?”

“Of course. I hadn't spoken much with anyone of you, and Sienna chose to leave-”

Bill swallowed hard. Once again, he had led the conversation to Sienna. “And you were probably in distress because of your father…”

He played around with his food on the plate.

On a boat near them sat Herman in front of a screen, seeing Bill's obvious discomfort, and bit his fist. He could see on Sandra's face that she was suspicious of his behavior. Herman could also see that his friend was really trying to act interested in the date, but Sandra was too quick with reading him.

“Have you even talked?” Asked Sandra after a minute of silence. Bill looked up at her. The candlelight reflected in his big green eyes, and he licked his plump lips. His beauty made Sandra just irritated at that moment, and she crossed her arms.

“Not much when she was here, but everything changed-” Bill sighed deeply. He should have pretended like he didn't understand her question, but his heart seemed to want to talk instead of his head. “Fuck…” he said and dragged his hands over his face.

Sandra scoffed and shook her head in disbelief.

“I came back to a guy who’s hung up on a girl who actually left? By her own choice?”

“It's not that easy,” said Bill with an apologetic voice and looked at her stressed when she stood up from the chair.

“I guess not because here we are, even if you clearly aren't interested in anyone other than her!”

“It wasn't planned, and the production-”

“Bill, Bill, Bill…” Shouted a cameraman and stopped him from talking. Bill looked at them in belief they had stopped filming.

“We don't talk about the production,” continued the cameraman with a headset on, clearly getting directions from someone else. Bill sighed and looked at Sandra, who sat down but with crossed arms.

“Turn this boat around or I will report you for kidnapping,” she said determingly. Bill looked at her, then the cameraman. A few minutes later, the boat turned around.

“I'm sorry, Sandra…” said Bill lowly and dragged a hand over his neck.

“Yeah, yeah. All men are assholes after all,” she accused bitterly. Bill didn't say anything because it wasn't worth the debate. He was, after all, a bit of an asshole.

×××

Bill was really nervous the next morning that Sandra would have spilled the beans to all the women and he would meet an angry mob when he walked down the stairs, but there was nothing like that. Once again, he took his round of saying goodbye to them before they would leave. Neither seemed to be upset. Maria looked hurt though when he moved away when she tried to kiss him, and she wasn't the only one who tried doing that. Esmeralda also tried when she sat down in his lap in her bed. Bill smiled strained when she moved up in his lap, feeling her thigh push against his crotch. He moved carefully so she wouldn't sit as close.

“Is it something?” She asked nervously when he moved, so she sat further out on his thigh.

“No, no. It was just uncomfortable,” he said with a low chuckle.

“Oh,” she laughed softly and dragged her hand over his back.

“It feels like we haven't got so much time together this week. Like, I kind of thought I was your favorite,” she teased and gave him a small smirk. Bill laughed and scratched his ear in discomfort, but Esmeralda just interpreted that as him not being able to talk about that. She knew he couldn't say what he felt in that way, but she was quite sure she was his favorite. It was either she or Tiffany.

“Will you get home this weekend?” He asked, and Esmeralda made a face.

“Yeah, I guess I must. I would rather stay here, with you.”

Bill smiled but felt his heart beat due to bad conscience.

“Yeah…” he said and nodded a little.

“But I understand you want to see your daughters. Of course. And I want to see my son,” she continued, and Bill continued to nod.

“I know you can't talk about your date with Sandra, but... She is a weird one.” Esmeralda lowered her voice like she was afraid someone would hear her. Bill swallowed hard, once again afraid Sandra had said something.

“She acted this morning like she knew you would pick her or something and told us that “we're just here because you can't force us out." Esmeralda laughed in disbelief, shaking her head. She was sure Bill didn't have an interest in Sandra, so Sandra's words didn't make sense. Bill furrowed his brows and faked confusion. He laughed a little, even if he knew Sandra meant something else.

“I can't really talk about this with you, but... That was a strange thing to say,” he just said and patted Esmeralda's thigh. He did it as some sort of apology but stopped when he thought about Sienna. Even such a thing felt wrong.

“It's time to say good-bye now,” he said and demonstratively looked at his watch. Esmeralda nodded and leaned in to kiss his lips, but Bill steered his face away and gave her a hug. Esmeralda tried again, but Bill did the same thing. She looked at him confused and smiled a little, wondering what had changed.

Bill took a deep breath before going to Sandra's room, afraid it would turn into a confrontation, but met an empty room. He wondered silently if she would come back. It didn't really matter if he was honest.

×××

Bill took the flight to New Jersey later that day, a six-hour flight that made his back hurt and his knees sore from the seat in front of him. He hated flying coach and rarely did, but it had been the flight that would have taken him to New Jersey the fastest, where Sienna would wait for him at the airport. While waiting on his suitcase by the conveyor belt, his nerves started to itch his skin. Maybe it would be totally different in reality? Maybe he wouldn't feel a thing? Was it possible it was just a hangup and he would regret every sweet word he had said to her? He almost missed his suitcase because of his loud thoughts but took it and moved towards the exit where Sienna would wait for him, even if his nerves pulled him in all different directions.

He didn't see her at first, and he joked with himself that she had left when she had seen him. He didn't really want to confess to himself; it was a real worry, but it was just then he saw her. She wore a white tube top and a denim skirt, perfectly matching his white t-shirt and jeans, and had her shoulder-length hair up in a half-updo. She smiled brightly, and Bill could feel how his nerves changed from pessimistic to optimistic and almost drunkenly excited. She was gorgeous. He felt his heart beat like a drum in his chest and his fingers around the handle of his suitcase shook. Was he in love already? Could it be so fast?

“Hey…” said Sienna shyly and looked up at his broad smile. She giggled a little, and he felt his confidence go up.

“Hey Sienna,” he said and played with the handle of his suitcase. They watched each other closely, just as full of hormones as teenagers, and Bill finally dared to lay his hand on her cheek and bend down to kiss her glossy lips. She giggled excitedly into the kiss, and Bill smiled and kissed her again more determined. He let his forehead linger against hers and looked into her hazel eyes.

“Shit Sienna… God, what are you doing to me?”

She smiled brightly, and this time she took the initiative to kiss him, but Bill was the one to deepen it, so they stood and made out way too intimately at the airport. It felt like they had waited so long to be near each other, even if it was just two weeks. They already knew so much about each other; still, this was the first time they actually touched each other. Bill felt a stir in his lower belly and knew it was time to stop. He made a humming sound when they pulled away from each other, and Sienna dragged her hands over his muscular chest.

“Wow,” she said with almost a moan, and Bill smiled playfully. He had thought he knew what he searched for in the show, but this was so much more. None of the other girls had been close to making him feel this way. It felt like he was flying while they walked hand in hand to Sienna's little Kia.

×××

Bill didn't care that they lived different kinds of lives, that he earned more money, had a more luxurious lifestyle, and lived bigger, but it was obvious Sienna was embarrassed when he looked around in her small one-bedroom apartment. The bedroom was her son's room, a kid's bed, and a desk with zebra toys standing in a row, from biggest to smallest. One of the walls was covered with Winnie the Pooh with friends. It was made by Sienna, and Bill smiled to himself. The living room was so small her couch stood in line with her bed. She had a smaller TV, but otherwise the living room was full of canvases, both painted and empty ones.

“I've tried to find a bigger apartment, but..." She stretched the truth while trying to find a place for Bill's suitcase. Her eyes were downcast, gazing at the floor the whole time. Bill took her hand in his and pulled her close to his body.

“You really inspire me, you know that?” He said it with a smile. Sienna furrowed her brows and laughed in disbelief.

“Yeah? Thinking about writing about someone poor?” She laughed again and looked away. Bill took hold of her chin and gave her a kiss.

“You fight for your dream and do it well. You work hard and embrace your talent.”

Sienna smiled with a blush and then kissed him again.

“You explained yourself now.”

Bill chuckled and shook his head.

“Shut up.”

“Did you tell me to shut up?” She said, amused, and looked at him with big eyes.

“Yes.” He looked at her with sultry eyes and then kissed her passionately. Sienna let go of his suitcase so it fell to the floor and as she drowned in his kiss. A few seconds she wanted to cry because she had given up meeting a man like him, but the lust took over when his lips moved down her neck and chest. His lips were so soft and full, nothing like any man she had been with before. She breathed heavily and dragged her hands over his chest and upper arms, wanting to feel skin but couldn't find it. Bill understood what she searched for and pulled off his t-shirt fast so his hair got messed up. It didn't matter though because Sienna dragged her hands through it while they kissed, then daring to touch his broad chest and abs. She moaned by seeing and touching his body finally, but Bill thought it was his kisses. He, in his turn, pulled down her top together with her strapless bra and dragged his hands over her chest. When he realized he couldn't kiss her breast without bending down uncomfortably, he pulled her up over his hips and carried her to the queen-sized bed in the corner. He sucked her nipple until it got stiff and then nibbled it lightly. Sienna didn't know what to do with herself when she looked down at Bill. He was so gorgeous and now made her feel her panties stick to her skin. Maybe it was too early to sleep with him, but she didn't care. It felt right. 

Garment after garment was pulled off until they could finally see every part of their skin. Sienna swallowed hard by seeing his physique. He didn't have anything to be ashamed of; he was broad, slim, and big in the right places. She followed the lines on his hips down to his member with her fingers while he stood on his knees between her legs. She smiled with a blush but became uncomfortable when Bill moved down and started kissing the scar on her lower belly. 

“You're so beautiful,” he said when he noticed her tense up. 

“Not there,” she said with a laugh. She tried to sound like she was joking, but her voice was full of doubt. 

“Everywhere…” he answered and kissed the scar again. Sienna smiled and relaxed under his lips but tensed up later for other reasons, his lips right where she wanted them…  

××× 

They lay together tightly between Sienna’s cherry-red sheets. She didn't want anything else than to lie like that with him but was almost afraid to do so. He had become hard twice now, while they cuddled and gave her a hard pounding instead, so hard she now was sore. She had loved it, but now she wanted to lay just like that, on his chest, dragging her finger tips over his soft skin. 

“I haven't… Been intimate with anyone for several years,” she confessed suddenly, and Bill looked down at her while she looked up. 

“Actually, I haven't been with anyone since I was with my son's father…” 

Bill dragged his fingers through her hair, waiting for her to tell him about it her way.

“I guess you've understood he isn't a part of our life…” 

Bill nodded a little but didn't say anything; letting her continue with her own words. 

“I was 22 when I got pregnant. We had been together for two years, but... I was the other woman. He was married, and I waited for him for two years…” 

She talked with a low gaze but didn't cry, even if Bill wouldn’t have minded if she had needed to. He swallowed hard. Cheating was a big no-no for him, but he could see in this situation that Sienna was young, in love, and naive. She also seemed to understand that it was a bad decision. 

“He said he would leave his wife and be with us, but... It never happened. I waited and waited... Ah shit, stupid, stupid… I really thought he would leave her even if he didn't even contact me anymore. I just… Waited. Then he showed up one day, just like that, divorced and suddenly wanted a new chance. But when he realized his son wasn't ‘normal,' he left again.” Sienna shook her head, like all of it was silly. Bill looked at her carefully and finally spoke up. 

“We all do stupid shit when we're in love... He sounds like a fucking idiot, though... Who wouldn't want to be with you?” 

Sienna looked up at him with a smile, but it fell slowly. 

“Sometimes I can't sleep because I just think about his wife, or his ex-wife, I mean. It feels like I should say I'm sorry, but I also can imagine that she doesn't want to meet me, not think about me. I don't know if she knows about me or that her husband has a son behind her back. I don't really know anything. Just his side of it.” 

“No… I don't think either is a good idea to say you're sorry; what's done is done, and she has moved on and so have you. Don't beat up on yourself because of that. It wasn't you who broke her heart; it was him.” 

Sienna nodded a little and moved up so she could kiss Bill's lips, then she laid down next to him.

“The weird feeling is that I can't regret it because I got a son from it, you know? My worst decision ever gave me the person I love the most in the entire world.”

Bill smiled a little, then he looked up at the ceiling, he was thinking about something, and Sienna stayed quiet so he could catch his thoughts. 

“I felt the same. I was only 22 when Kate got pregnant. She was a student in Toronto, where I was filming, and we… Hooked up a few times. I really liked her, but I couldn't see it as something serious. I lived in a suitcase and dreamed about having a big acting career, and then... ‘Im pregnant.’ I wasn't prepared at all. I had just started my career and wanted to party, travel, take drugs…” He laughed to himself and rubbed his eye. “I just thought ‘abortion’. ‘Abortion, abortion, abortion' but she didn't want to do that. She said she would do everything by herself, but that didn't feel good at all, so... I moved to Toronto full time. We weren't a couple or anything at first, but we fell in love during the process, and, yeah, we became a real family.” Sienna looked at Bill with big eyes. She felt honored that he told her about it, something he hadn't talked about in interviews or shared in any other way. 

“When did you get married?” 

“2014. Like a year after our oldest was born. Her family was much more conservative than mine, so... Not that I didn't want to get married to her. I loved her so much, but I didn't really understand why it was so important. I kind of understood it when she left us, though... Me and the girls inherited everything, and all the costs and so on fell on me. It was easy and gave us time to grieve instead…” 

Sienna looked at him with big eyes, and he could see that she had questions. 

“It's okay that you ask things; I just don't like talking with strangers about it all.” 

"Ehm,” she looked down because she felt a bit awkward asking anyway, but after a while she took the courage to do it. 

“Your youngest is born in 2019, the year Kate also died... Was she pregnant while she was sick?” 

Bill nodded; he sat up against the wall, and Sienna did the same with her eyes on his profile. 

“Yeah, they found the tumors while she was pregnant, and she refused to end the pregnancy and get chemo. They said she could probably wait until after the birth with it, but it grew faster than they thought and-” He took a deep breath, and Sienna crawled closer to him and took his hand in hers. Bill's eyes were shiny, but he closed them instead of letting the tears fall. “She died two months after the birth.” Sienna hugged his side, and Bill finally let the tears run down his cheeks. When he had taken some deep breaths, Sienna dared to ask her next question. 

“What kind of cancer was it?” 

“Ehm, brain cancer. It had already spread when they found it.” 

Sienna nodded and dragged her hand over his chest. Both of them carried a painful story, but his was heavier, and she could understand why he had been single for such a long time. 

“But why did you become a writer and not an actor?” She asked after a while of just breathing together. The question lightened the mood, and Bill smirked a little. 

“I guess it's just a coincidence? My plan was to be an actor. I have acted since I was a kid, and my family are actors, but during the pregnancy I started to write, and Kate pushed me to send it to a publisher and... One thing led to another. I don't think I would be a writer if I hadn't met Kate. I would probably continue to act if I got roles,” he said with a smirk. Sienna looked at him amused. 

“I watched everything I could find with you. It was just a couple, but—” 

“No? What? No?” He interrupted her and laughed uncomfortably. “Shit that series was... Fuck, it was so fucking silly in the end!” He laughed and dragged his hands through his hair. Sienna laughed at his uncomfortable behavior and shrugged her shoulders. 

“You were cute, though. I did like Simple Simon a lot.” 

Bill looked at her with a warm smile and nodded a little. He could understand why, and in that moment he was also thankful he had done that role; his understanding of autism was thanks to that role. Simon would always be with him, and he hoped he could get his help when he met Sienna's son. 

For a few seconds, they just looked at each other with understanding smiles. It felt like they had a bond they didn't have before, a respect for each other that didn't come so easily. Both of them then made the move to kiss deeply, softly, and lovingly all at the same time. Their feelings were like fire crackers in their chests. 

××× 

The weekend was full of romance and silly newly in love activities, but still no one of them dared to say what they were actually feeling. It was too soon, and even when they stood at the airport close together, neither of them said anything, even if both of them could feel the words tickle their throats. Instead, they kissed some more and hugged goodbye as close as they could. Sienna did have worry weighing on her chest, something Bill didn't have, but he wasn't the one knowing she would go home to seven other men. He would go home to seven women who all wanted to crawl down in his bed. Sienna felt she could trust Bill to not play with her heart, but she was worried he would fall for one of the others instead, like Esmeralda. No one had missed that they had chemistry, but she also forced down those feelings while saying goodbye; she didn't want their last time together to be spent talking about other women. Slowly they let go of each other, and then Bill left her standing by herself in the big hall. He turned to look at her and thought to himself that as soon as he could, he would make his home to hers.

××× 

Even if Bill was bigger, taller, and stronger than all the people by his dinner table, he felt small when all four of them looked at him with disappointed looks. Herman was one of them, the female producer another; the other two were represented by the network channel that would air the program.

“This is not good, Bill. We can't save this. If Sandra tells the other women, all of them will leave, and we don't have a show,” said the female producer, Precious Daniels. Bill blinked slowly, even if he felt panic in his chest. He wondered if they could sue him for this or something and he would see his daughters secured future, his home, car, but also his reputation disappear. 

“What, what do you want to do then?” He stuttered and looked between the four people. 

“We must talk with Sandra. Write a contract with her, pay her off...” continued Precious and gave Bill a strict glare so he would feel ashamed. In that moment he did because he might have handled this unprofessionally. But his emotions had taken over, and when a memory of Sienna laughing so hard she had spit wine on him came to mind, the shame disappeared, and instead he smirked a bit to himself. 

“Bill?” Sighed Herman, he had probably understood Bill had disappeared into much more pleasant thoughts, and Bill looked up at his friend and rubbed his eyes. 

“We must come up with a long-term solution to this, and the network has agreed to just do ten episodes instead of twelve, but for this to work, you must cooperate, not just... disappear to New Jersey,” continued Herman with a serious expression. Even if he sounded hard, he had Bill's interest in mind. He really tried to make everything as easy for Bill as possible, but it was hard when so much money was on the line. Bill nodded and gazed down at the table. 

“So do you have any ideas?”

Now one of the network representatives cleared her throat and fixed her short hair while looking at Bill's full lips. 

“Well, we must have three more ceremonies with the women, then we need an episode, a staged one, when you search for Sienna, and then we have the reunion that will be its own episode.” 

Bill looked nervous. He knew what that meant. A reunion episode meant drama. Herman had in the beginning promised to make such a thing short and easy, but now it would be a full episode. A full episode for the women to be angry, but he didn't have a choice. 

“Okay, okay,” he said with a sigh and nodded to himself. He just wanted it all to end. 

×

[sysig]

Can I request a pokemon drawing? Was thinking mewtwo but idk whoever whatever!

Day 11 - Quiet pls