#i want to say ill be more careful about my future trips but i know that wont be true
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I love how all of my determination is fuelled in when I have to book trips.
On most things I change my mind repeatedly, like its a really bad habit I developed especially for finding jobs or a partner.
But with travel... like there's no hesitation whatsoever. "I'm going to this country whether I like it or not there is no going back"
And it makes me so happy. There is a certain serenity in knowing you have a booked trip and you can daydream about it until it actually happens.
#justmefeelingtherain#im talking about going home now#new zealand was a shit show to begin with and i have no idea why i thought coming here was something i shoud do in my lifetime#i only spend my hardearned money and wasted my time sitting in a hostel#it was an Experience™#fuck that shit#anyway im going home and thats it folks#i want to say ill be more careful about my future trips but i know that wont be true#ill screw things over again and again#but i honestlx dont give a damn what anyone thinks
0 notes
Text
firsts w jake ꣑୧ - deep dive into calm love w him
first future plans talk
lazy moments w you va me his favorite moment w you. lazy morning, hours spent cuddling or lazily kissing, sharing soft words. or lazy night, deep talk or funny stories shared, while you his chest. you know i love this kind of moments baby. i love coming home to yours n have a nice meal then our usual routine finally be in each other arms. don't you think ? he'd say as his graze stays on the ceiling as he starts to daydreams about his future life w you. i'm so excited for when we will live together, in a nice little loft while having our layla w us. i cant wait to come to our home n get to kiss you every night. or to wake up every morning, to kiss your pretty face awake. can you see it too ? , as his gaze finally shift to yours. as he hears your own ideal life, he is happy to be apart of it, warms his heart to know that the love of his life also wants to be w him in the future. so he would love you off to his chest, n lay on his side, facing you. he would then bring his hand the the side of your face, his eyes spreading anything but love to you, i only want you in my future, my love. i only want you now but i just only need you. wether you want kids or not, wether you want to live in korea or not, i'll follow you everywhere n will do anything for you to stay by your side, he would say as his thumb softly strokes your cheek. i promise you ill keep you happy, my love. ill make sure your pretty smile of yours, will remain as long as i'm by your side. thank you for making me the happiest man alive, y/n, kissing your forehead softly. he would then stare softly at you n your face, n finally kiss you, to share how his currently body feels.
first ring
after a year w you, jake would be sure yours the one for him. as much as he wants to marry w you, he can only give you a promise ring tonight. he'd be preparing it for a week, everything will br thought by him, you only needing to look pretty n to accept his advances. you'd come home, w petals all over the floor n your place nicely decorated. music would be softly played as he followed the rhythm while cooking tonight's meal. as he hears your shook words, he'd softly greet you, leading you to dance w him, i've missed you today baby, more than usual, he would say as he makes you twirl. did you have a good day, my love ? he'd then ask, pulling you closer, dancing even slower. alright, lemme make you your night then mmh ? you're bath is already ready, call me when you're done okay ? he'd then kiss you in a comfortable manners. after calling him that youre done w showering, he will be the one takinf care of you. he would mosturized your body, oyt on the pretty dress n heels he boight you spevially for today. he woukdnt forget to kiss you where he can or tell you how pretty you are with im so lucky or my pretty woman. he'd let you have your time to do your makeup while he does your hair, how he knows you like it. finally done, he would then lead you the the kitchen w the prepared meal. the chats will be the same as usual, sharing each other stories from the day n how excited you are for the anniversary trip. once came the desert time, jake would use it to finally tell you on why he is doing all of this tonight. love, could i hold your hand please, he'd say handing his hand, ive had the most amazing year of my life just thanks to your existence by my side. knowing you is my biggest honnor n i wouldn't know what to do if i'd lose you. in fact, you being my woman means so so so munch to me, i truly believe i will love you forever. i have fell completely in love w you. all of your charms all of your quirkiness, everything. i love you as a whole n i want keep this honor to see it all the rest of my life. and as he concluded he'd finally, show you the infamous black box, slidding it on the table, can i be the man who stay by your side the rest of your life, please ?
꣑୧ one week ꣑୧ one month
notes : n the série is finally done >< i hope u had as munch fun as i did ㅎㅎ i truly believe jake is a very polite man would do everything for his girl n would know quite early if he is going to stay w her or not > < again this isn't proofread
@imaluckygirl @luvj4key @stwrjvke @amouriu @neos127 @goldenretrieverjakezgirlbaby @jaeyunpinkyring @pockettwinzz @jwsdoll @heeheeswifey @sjylouvre @txnwvc @oopshee @luvlyhee
#enhablr#enha fluff#enhypen fluff#jaeyun fluff#jake sim#jake x y/n#jake sim x reader#jake fluff#jake x reader#jake headcanons#jaeyun imagines#jake enhypen#sim jake fluff#sim jake#sim jaeyun fluff#sim jaeyun#jake soft hours#kpop fluff#enhypen jake fluff#fluff
344 notes
·
View notes
Text
When I first started shoveling Jayvik fanfic into my mouth a month and a half ago, I was shocked and delighted at the avalanche buffet of top Viktor and dom Viktor content. But I've started to feel like the detective who kneels down and touches some footprints in the dirt like, "Something happened here..."
Because I can't remember the last time I saw a fanon concept become...so ubiquitous? Even in fics where Viktor bottoms, he's a power bottom/topping from the bottom. Spotting a fic with an overwhelmed sub bottom Vik in the Ao3 tag feels a bit like the moment a snow leopard graces your Himalayan trail cam.
I DO NOT mean to suggest anyone "should" write more inexperienced/bottom/sub Viktor! It's just...as someone who likely missed whatever ancient discourse might've plagued the Arcane fandom years hence, I've been through this fandom song and dance enough times to recognize the smell of...what say, capital-O Obligation.
I just want people to know they can write whatever kind of fanfic they want. That's the point of this post. I hope someone somewhere reads this and feels emboldened to let loose/goof off/get freaky/whatever.
Because I can see why people would feel Obligated to portray Viktor as a top/dom/the sexually experienced one. He's physically disabled and chronically ill. Ableism so often takes the form of paternalism and infantilization. There's this pervasive notion that disabled people don't have sex. People think we're too "pure" for sex, or assume we're "undesirable" as romantic partners/that our physical or mental disabilities would make sex impossible. With that cultural context, it's a radical act for so many people to come together and choose to portray Viktor—a disabled, terminally ill man who struggles with suicide ideation—as a sexually experienced top.
One of the hardest things about being disabled/ill is the lack of control. You can't plan for the future; you don't know whether your pain levels will be better tomorrow or demand another trip to the ER; your life is totally in the hands of overworked doctors who don't care about you. So it feels kind of like an act of reclamation to put Viktor in a dominant position. In a safe, sane, consensual arrangement, all parties have control over the situation, but with topping and/or domming comes the Role of authority/power. Making Viktor an experienced, sly top/dom gives back Viktor's autonomy and agency.
So yeah. I get why this trend is pervasive within the fandom! It's fantastically subversive. I just hope nobody feels like they HAVE to fall into this dynamic.
I remember a Tumblr post from years ago where someone described the drawbacks of a supposedly "feminist retelling" of Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty, wherein the heroin saves herself by her own strength and wits. This, I would argue, is a perfectly fine story to tell...but its lack of intersectionality betrays a shallow definition of feminism. In casting those retold fairy tales in a feminist, "empowering" light, one ignores the realities of the people who found escapism in those helpless damsels.
In a paradoxical way, when my MCAS knocked me flat on my ass for two years, I was always out of control of my life AND forced to take control all the time. All those overworked, traumatized, apathetic doctors meant I had to be my own patient advocate. I had to do my own research; figure out which treatment plans made the most sense; find doctors who took my insurance and could see me within six months; argue with Medicaid when they didn't want to pay for one of the drugs I'd been prescribed; find new and creative ways to feed myself when my body reacted like it was allergic to everything other than water and Cheerios. And god, I had to self-police myself all the time. At the doctor's office, you have to look sick enough that they believe you when you say you're hurting, but you don't want to seem TOO sick because the desperation will make the doctor diagnose you with "hysterical woman" (or they'll just assume you're fishing for drugs). At home, you want to project some amount of strength so you don't worry your loved ones or make yourself too much of a "burden." (You also don't want to have to manage other people's anxiety on top of your own.) My disability (autism) and chronic illness (MCAS) are invisible, but I imagine there's a lot of masking that goes into navigating public spaces with a visible disability/illness, too.
So...when everything's this constant battle for control—when you're forced to project strength every day regardless of your pain level—of course some people are going to find relief in stories where they're allowed to shut down. I think it's important to let disabled characters be vulnerable and overwhelmed and even dependent on someone else, because as often as disabled and chronically ill people are infantalized, so too are we expected to "overcome" our disabilities/illnesses through miracles of resilience and cunning. We're pushed to perform strength, cheer, and "normalcy" for the public, who find our disabilities "sad" and "uncomfortable." Every time someone refuses to put on a mask, or a relative tells us to simply get more exercise, or a politician rails against "wellfare queens," or a bus route gets cut or a bench gets removed or our doctors hand-wave our symptoms, our world reinforces the message that we are Too Much; that our needs are exorbitant, our very existence a drain on society. So many of us throw ourselves into self-sabotaging grasps at independence. We work ourselves far past our limits to prove we aren't a burden on society. We refuse help just to maintain that tiny sense of control over our lives.
I find it deeply comforting to read stories where ill and disabled characters are...allowed to be helpless, I guess. To break the fuck down and let someone else finally take the reigns for a while—to lift some of that burden off their shoulders. I love when ill and disabled characters trust someone enough to take off that heavy armor, revealing the pain and weakness beneath the facade they were forced to take up to survive, and are rewarded with warmth and reassurance and care.
At a certain point...is it not a little ableist in itself, to restrict a disabled, chronically ill character to one specific role? To essentially lock them out of a position where they're allowed to relinquish control and be taken care of?
In essence,
Disabled and chronically/terminally ill people are not a monolith. As I always say, what offends one person will uplift another. It's an uncomfortable reality, but there's really no such thing as perfect representation. I think part of intersectionality is being willing to accept that multiple things can be true at once, because everyone's lived reality is different. It's absolutely fine to prefer one trope over another. But if I find a fanfic offensive or uncomfortable, I can always click the back button with the knowledge that there's almost certainly someone out there who'll find that same so-called problematic content empowering. Whether fic writers prefer top Viktor, power bottom Viktor, bottom Viktor, switch Viktor, sub Viktor, dom Viktor, experienced Viktor, virgin Viktor, omega vs. alpha Viktor, and every niche in between...I just hope they go where their heart tells them and write what they want.
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Dark Wizard
preview! Wolfstar Howls Moving Castle AU a tiny little bit of the next work I’ll be working on. Posting will begin in December :) massive thanks to the groupchat for checking this over before I posted, you are the absolute best ❤️
✨✨✨
When Remus leaves his hometown, it’s not to seek his fortune, or adventure, or – gods forbid – love. He leaves because he’s a monster, and monsters do not belong in society. They belong in the Waste.
This is how it happens.
It’s May Day. The village of Hogsmead is abuzz with excitement. Revellers and drunks, lovely dressed up ladies and dapper gentlemen circling one another, for propriety's sake staying respectable distances away. The gentlemen whistling at the ladies, the ladies pretending to be aghast by the behaviour, covertly blushing and giggling.
It’s a perfect day. Sunny, warm, bright.
For Remus, it’s perfect for a different reason.
Everyone is too busy to notice their pockets getting lighter. Too buzzed to pay attention to the man dressed in ill-fitting clothes walking too close to others. A casual jostle is just this - casual. Nothing to worry about. Nothing to raise concern.
Remus has a few pilfered wallets in a hidden pocket he sewed into a stolen vest. It’s easy, this. He’s done it for years.
“My apologies,” he smiles at a man in a soldier’s garb, whose money pouch he just appropriated. This one feels good for more than one reason - the soldier was in the process of accosting a lady who did not seem pleased to be accosted. She takes the moment he gets distracted by Remus and ducks away. Remus would like to say that he makes sure to only steal from those who deserve it, but it wouldn’t be true.
Food is food, and money is money, and both are something he needs to live. Remus can’t get a job, on account of being a monster, on account of how many days he has to take out to recuperate and travel somewhere far enough to make sure he wouldn’t let himself loose on his quaint hometown of Hogsmeade. Since his parents’ passing, this is what he’s been reduced to.
He’s tall but can make himself look unassuming, with hair once golden-auburn and now grey from the effect of too many full moons. It’s perfect for this job, being easy to look over and hard to describe. He’s young but looks old. Feels old, too, but that’s not something for people to see.
Remus makes mistakes in this work so rarely that he doesn’t notice he’s made one until it’s too late.
He’s following a well-dressed man, waiting for an opportunity to strike. The man is exceptionally pretty, with short black curls barely skimming the tops of his ears and a gait like royalty. Remus follows behind him at a stretch, slow and careful, until they round the back of a seedy, dark pub and the man turns around like he is the one who set the trap.
Green eyes like poison.
“Trailing the Wizard of the Waste, that’s brave of you,” the man says with a voice that freezes Remus midstep.
Because he knows better than that. He knows not to go for the people who are dressed overly expensive, with rich black fabrics and shining peacock plumes in their hats. He knows chances are somebody is watching over the really rich. That the possibility of a greater payoff doesn’t compare to the risk of being caught.
And yet here he is: caught.
“Or maybe simply foolish,” the Wizard says. “You don’t look a fool, but such things can be so deceiving, don’t you agree?”
The way his eyes pierce through Remus: all he can think is he knows. Somebody knows. Remus has been found out.
He turns and runs, tripping over his own feet in his haste to get away. Remus remembers what the townspeople did the last time someone was found out. Remembers the stench of burning flesh.
He doesn’t look back once while he flees, not even when the Wizard shouts “my regards to Sirius!”, to his retreating back.
✨✨✨
tagging you lovely people who had previously been interested in future works - let me know if you want to be in the list for this one as well :)
@tealeavesandtrash
@moon-girl88
@hoje--aqui
@cocoabutterandbooks
@onion-sliced-apples
@prancingpony42
@digital-kam
@remoonysiriusly
@sweetstarryskies
@a-sunset-outside-my-window
@procrastinatingstuff
@annaliza999
(let me know if you do/don’t want to be tagged!)
#wolfstar#remus lupin#sirius black#marauders#dead gay wizards#fanfic#remus x sirius#marauders era#remus loves sirius#sirius x lupin#remus lupin x sirius black#sirius orion black#moony x padfoot#padfoot x moony#moony#padfoot#howls moving castle
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
Don't Make Me Feel Alive I Chapter 3
kenjaku x f!reader
plot: diagnosed at an early age with an illness that slowly deteriorated your body; you went from being a promising sorcerer to a retired husk of your once former self until he found you, offering you an opportunity to live instead—not that you had a choice to refuse.
chapter summary: you are taken out on a little field trip that could have ended better, despite not knowing exactly what you did wrong.
a/n: reminder, this is currently pre-shibuya arc, so some characters will still be present in his alliance. also more dubious sorcery up ahead.
< Previous Chapter • Next Chapter >
3. Outing
Come the next morning, he was already long awake before you woke up. His gaze fixated on the pendant that rested around your neck, finding its low pulsating hum to be quite soothing as it echoed through the otherwise quiet room.
“I adjusted it for you overnight,” he began, patiently waiting for you to fully awake before continuing, “this time it should use less energy for the things you actively do like walking, but the energy cost will remain the same should you choose to use your technique.”
You furrowed your brows in response, seeming a little confused, “So, I can’t use my technique in the end anyway because it uses up too much energy… or?”
“That’s not what I said,” he corrected you with a slight laugh, “we can train it, the better you get at harnessing your technique, the less energy it will drain.”
“But would that really work���?” you asked.
“Think of it like working out a muscle,” he explained, trying to compare it to something you could understand, “it’ll get easier to manage over time.”
He then stared at you for a long moment as he ensured you kept up with his explanation before having a different thought enter his mind.
Thinking of something new, he broke the silence again, changing up his neutral demeanour to something much more energetic, “I want to test your ability to keep up with me.”
“But,” you halted, feeling still so cautious, “what if it’s like last time?”
“Ah, but I don’t think it’ll be,” he replied, his tone filled with optimism, “besides, what good is it if I trial things on you without you testing them?”
“…Fair,” you sighed, choosing to trust him for now as you sat up from the bed, “So… keeping up with you?”
“I have a meeting of sorts today to oversee some plans in the future, I’d like for you to attend this with me and see how the battery is spent during social settings, if at all,” he explained calmly, his tone sounding suddenly a little clinical despite his relaxed demeanour.
You found him difficult to read as his tone often overrode the look he had in his eyes as well as the smile that he constantly wore. Something about this whole thing felt unsafe, but you had no choice but to go along, so you might as well go along with what was thrown at you.
Meanwhile, his intentions weren’t as terrible as he simply just had an idea to see if the battery drain was strictly physical or if mental stress negatively impacted it as well.
You slowly nodded in understanding, “Also… what do I call you exactly?”
“Anything you’d like,” he replied bluntly. He had so many identities at this point that he didn’t care. Regardless of what name you could conjure up for him, he’s likely lived under that identity for at least a little while.
“Okay, but really, what do you prefer?” you persisted, not quite accepting his answer.
A pause followed as his smile returned, finding the insistence amusing.
“You can call me Kenjaku.”
“And that’s your real name?” you asked.
He nodded in confirmation, “But you can call me anything, however, for the meeting,” he paused for just another moment, “Maybe it’s best for you to call me Geto, instead.”
“Wait, so your allies know you as something different…?” you asked, reading maybe too much into the suggestion.
“I will go as far to admit that this isn’t my true body, so feel free to interpret that as you will,” he continued to say, “I’d prefer if this particular alliance stays in the dark about it”
“Is there a reason why you’re lying to your allies?” you asked as though to recycle your question, unsure why he was avoiding giving you a proper answer. Maybe you shouldn’t have been asking somebody you didn’t really feel too safe around so many questions, but also you wanted to understand who exactly you were working with.
Kenjaku himself didn’t actually mind your relentless curiosity, as he always found people the most interesting when they want to learn more about what’s around them, rather than just accepting things at face value. The only time he felt that people, including sorcerers, were boring, was when they were a little too content with their position in life.
“The alliance is a group of special grade cursed spirits,” he spoke up again after a hot second, studying your reaction as he next considered his tone, “but being what they are, I can’t trust them.”
“Because they’re not human?” you asked once again, trying to keep up.
“That’s not the only reason, but it’s one of them,” Kenjaku confirmed, his expression remaining unreadable.
“So you don’t trust them but you trust me?” you asked, not following along again.
“Who said I trust you?” he smiled.
“D-do you?”
“If I’m being honest, I don’t truly trust anyone,” he replied in a sudden serious tone before it faded away immediately, a wide grin following after, “but that’s enough about me, you’re going to follow me along aren’t you?”
“You’re not giving me much of a choice,” you sulked. You could walk, but you didn’t feel great doing it.
“Correct, but you are free to fight back, you know,” Kenjaku teased, knowing you wouldn’t tempt it.
“Wouldn’t you just stop me?” you warily asked.
“Also correct, so why don’t you behave for now and follow me anyway, unless you’re prepared to find out what happens if you refuse to do so?” he sang almost, still wearing his smile.
Albeit reluctantly, you chose to go along with his request, pressured by what he was doing for you. His vague threat lingered in the back of your mind, reminding you that he wouldn’t let you refuse, wondering exactly what that had truly meant. While his threat remained empty, you couldn’t deny that there was danger behind his words and you weren’t in a shape to find out.
As you walked alongside him too, you couldn’t help but admit that there was a difference in your stride; the adjustments that he made proving seemingly beneficial.
The meet with his alliance proved however brief as he quickly determined that certain aspects of his plans shouldn’t be shared with you, wanting to keep you in the dark about the darker parts just to keep your willing participation—understanding that if you knew the true extent of it all, that you wouldn’t be so keen to help him.
Which would be a problem. For most things, he preferred a willing cooperation, which was what he was aiming to achieve by tricking his other allies too.
This was simply how Kenjaku worked though; he would be selective with his plans and how he chose to tell it and to whom. He told you that he would restore you in return for your cooperation and he told Mahito’s alliance that he’s on their side in exchange to bend them to his will.
Therefore, he decided that your role wasn’t to directly talk just yet. It was to be in the midst of a social setting, humans or cursed spirits be damned—either were draining enough, so he simply just kept you present as a shadowing ally knowing that the alliance wouldn’t care much to ask.
For now given your condition, your use was limited anyway. Even if you did return to your peak condition, he would likely just utilise you in combat regardless since that was his initial plan to exploit your technique.
As such while the discussion happened off to the side, your matters were turned elsewhere—towards a person that didn’t quite seem human but not like the cursed spirits up ahead either; seeking comfort within his company, feeling bored out of your mind.
Initially, Kenjaku paid very little attention towards your interactions with one of his creations, believing that your communication with him would be limited at best. However as you continued to speak with the death painting, he felt something stir deep within him that he didn’t quite like—let alone understand.
You continued your exchange with Choso either way, oblivious to his observations. You somehow got into the conversation about emotions with him.
“I’m sorry, I’m just curious,” the death painting mumbled, hoping to not scare you away—he liked humans and wanted to learn about them, but his opportunities were limited.
“You’re fine,” you tried to reassure, “I’m just a little lost on how to answer that question,” you added with a polite, albeit strained smile.
“Sorry,” he repeated again, his face looking at you with a sat yet fascinated gaze.
“I suppose that it feels a little chaotic, maybe?” you mused, considering his question with more thought. “I think humans tend to be emotionally driven, so maybe to be human is to be unpredictable.”
You paused, trying to determine if your words were even coherent.
“Does that make sense?”
Choso nodded as he processed your answer despite feeling still just a little confused by it—he also had emotions but he didn’t feel motivated by them but maybe he was also missing something.
“A little,” he replied.
He wanted to continue the conversation but the meeting seemed to have been concluded which meant that you were reunited soon with Kenjaku, who chose to move onto the objective of continuing the practice of your technique.
With surprising patience, he encouraged you to release small bursts of your technique as you learned to regain control of it, finding that there was progress to be seen already, causing him some relief as you continued to demonstrate what you were currently capable of, meaning come autumn, you probably could prove useful. With each controlled movement, you proved that the energy handled by the pendant was becoming more and more efficient, which is exactly what he wanted.
“I know you can do better than that” he teased you, wanting for you to increase your output.
You nodded as you then attempted to do just that, finding that you still didn’t have a proper handle of your technique as you were simply too out of practice. As a result, you ended up accidentally sending over a surge of energy far greater than anything you should have been capable of—at least currently.
Kenjaku’s eyes widened slightly in response while maintaining his relaxed posture as he watched you completely drain the pendant of energy once again but in a much greater amount, thinking that luckily you were stood over grass, since the fall wouldn’t be so bad this time.
And then, to his slight annoyance, Choso was the one who caught you mid-fall, leaving him confused as to why the death painting, usually so aloof and distant, suddenly seemed to intervene.
However, he didn’t let his annoyance show at all.
Not once.
He instead continued back with you completely alone, leaving the cursed spirit alliance to their own hideouts, wherever those currently were and even though they didn’t suspect a single thing, he still felt off about something to do with you.
Then there was you, who on the other hand, couldn’t quite shake the feeling that he acted strangely colder towards you as he guided you back, finding that despite his continued silence, there was something different about his overall demeanour.
Feeling confused and weary from what had happened overall, you reluctantly went off to sleep even though there was an unrelenting nagging confusion lurking in the back of your mind, failing to understand exactly why he treated you so well just yesterday ago and why you were now otherwise reduced to barely dirt.
Initially, you wondered if it was because the technique had failed you again.
However, you also found that after you had accomplished a full night’s sleep, that he seemed completely back to normal again.
In fact, he seemed to be over the top thrilled about something.
So what was that really?
#weekly updates#multi chapter#yandere kenjaku#hopefully i’m getting his deceptively charismatic with creepy undertones personality correct lmao#yandere x reader#dark fanfiction#yandere jjk#dark fic#dead dove do not eat#dead dove fic#jjk yandere#yandere fanfiction#kenjaku#kenjaku x you#kenjaku x reader#pseudo geto#yandere x y/n#yandere fantasy#yandere trope#yandere x you#jjk dark content#dark yandere#yandere#yandere x female reader#xposted to ao3#cross posted on ao3
64 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wishlist Haul
All I asked for were pants, and those are coming Saturday. But you all came through in a big way with my wishlist and helped me solve some problems that have really been bugging me lately.
One of my biggest current issues is my decision to use my M1 MacBook Air as my main computer until I can move my PC upstairs at some distant time in the future. Which means I need to ask a lot more of it. And it is capable, as these Apple Silicon devices are amazing and very zippy, but I only got 256 GB of storage because I thought this would just be a secondary computer while I was taking care of my dad.
So I need storage. And if you do photography and use Lightroom, you know you need *fast* storage. In the days of spinny disc drives, going back and forth between images was maddeningly slow. I already hate the process of culling photos and picking the best ones. And sometimes you'd need to find 5 winners out of a few hundred. And when it took 3 seconds to switch between every photo, I wanted to die. And honestly, it could still be better.
But one of the best solutions is a super fast SSD. Which I had. I bought it right before my parents got especially ill and was planning to install it in my PC. But my priorities changed and I just never found the energy.
The problem is that was an internal NVME SSD. I needed it to be external.
Which is where this little thingie comes in.
This is an NVME enclosure, and if you are looking for cheap, fast external storage, this is so much better than those external SSDs they overcharge for. For $200 they give you a 2TB drive that can read about 2000 MB per second. Or you can get a 2TB NVME and this enclosure for the same price and get 3000 MB per second. Not only that, but it is upgradeable. In a year when 4TB is $100, you can plop that in. And the Mac's Thunderbolt 4 has a max speed of around 5000 MB/s, so there is room to improve there as well. Though sometimes advertised speeds are not reality speeds.
The only thing you need to be aware of is these drives run hot. You're going to think there is something wrong with them. Like, they top out at 90C. Which is nearly 200 degrees in freedom units.
I wanted a convenient way to mount my drive, but I didn't want 200 degrees on the back of my screen, so... MAGNETS!
And I can stack a few more if that section starts feeling too hot.
So, I have that problem solved. I can now use this as my main computer and work on my photography.
Next up... fashion!
I'm going out more and I want to look a little more presentable. I thought these two tone shirts looked a little more fashionable. And they are very comfortable too. I have a red one that I think I'm going to wear on my trip. I know you can't see the two tone well in the picture, so here is the product photo of the red one.
Next problem?
Well, it's maybe not a problem so much as something cool I wanted. A black light!
My mom had all of this uranium glass and I had no idea my salt shaker was marginally radioactive all these years. I really wanted to take a proper photo of some of the glass before it all gets sold at auction. So this should be a fun experiment.
I will say, if you don't have uranium glass, don't get a black light. You will want to burn your house down. It does not matter how clean you think you got something... you didn't clean it enough. And I have all of this dry flaky skin on my feet. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't bother me. You can't even really see it unless you look really close. But when I shined the light on my feet they looked like they had some undocumented disease. I will not be sharing a photo of that.
But the depression glass, that's super neat.
Some proper photos coming soon I hope. Maybe after my trip.
Next problem!
My key fob. This thing is a piece of shit.
Even if it looks cool under a black light, it is THE WORST.
It's cheap plastic, it takes a stupid watch battery, the symbols on the buttons all wore off. And all of that I could handle, but for some reason this fob has an effective range of about 2 feet. I literally have to be standing next to the door before it will work.
I had a black fob that worked much better, only the plastic casing was falling apart. But I taped it up as best I could and hoped it would not fall apart. Then I went to get my tires changed and they needed the fob to do some special reset of the pressure sensors and the battery died before they could. I went home to try and change the battery, and the entire thing basically disintegrated on me.
The inside looks like this.
The battery retention contact is held on by a tiny dab of solder. And if you pull the battery up even a little, it snaps off. And that's what happened. And to make matters worse, the rubber buttons were falling apart and the unlock button just... fell off.
So I was either stuck with the 2 foot range green one or I needed a new fob. Thankfully, they are only 20 bucks for 2 on Amazon. Unfortunately you need a dealer or an auto locksmith to program them. The lowest quote was $100 for about 5 minutes of work. The dealer actually wanted to sell me the fob as well, which they quoted as $150 for ONE. Same cheap plastic piece of shit and everything.
So, I got all of the parts from the broken fob and I hot glued that battery contact back into place and I transplanted that into a shiny new casing.
Works just like new. The buttons feel much better, I can actually see the symbols, and it has a range of at least 100 feet. And that hot glue isn't going anywhere. Changing the battery might be an issue, but these lasted several years.
Next problem!
An intervalometer is a fancy shutter button for a camera that allows very long exposures. It is detached from the camera so you don't shake anything and it needs a backlit screen because if you are using it, you are most likely in the dark.
My intervalometer is about 12 years old and uses another dreaded watch battery. And the backlight on the screen seems to be dead. So it is pretty much useless.
But look at this!
The light even works in the... well, light! And it takes normal batteries. Seriously, watch batteries need to stay in watches.
I don't know if I will get to take a long exposure in Florida, but I want to have this with me in case I do.
Next problem!
This one I actually solved on my own. But I found these stainless iron (yes, iron!) shims and I covered them with black tape and now all of my most used kitchen items never take up counter space.
Yes, I use magnets and hot glue to solve most of my problems.
Next problem!
My garage door is not very smart. And the remote control for it is huge and does not fit in my man purse.
So I downsized the remote.
But I wanted to fix the non-smart thing as well. A while back my brother got into my garage without me knowing. He must have taken a remote of his own. And I really don't feel like figuring out how to change the frequency, so I now have a sensor that lets me know when the door is open with a phone notification. Beyond that, I can open or close the door from my smartphone from anywhere. And I can give access to anyone with a smartphone in case of an emergency.
I will say, this company is really paranoid about people being crushed by garage doors. The instructions tell you to put up this sign in your garage...
And if you use the app to close the door, you get a light show with annoying beeping...
And I know that these accidents happen in real life. But whenever I think about how that could actually happen, all I can imagine is that scene in Austin Powers...
In any case, I am really glad I have this now. And I also like that if I forget to close the garage door, I can check the app and not have to get up to do it.
OH! I almost forgot. If I want, I can have Amazon place packages inside my garage.
Next problem!
What in the heck do I need galvanized steel plates for?
In product photography you need a diffusion panel called a scrim. If you try to buy one of these already made, they are hundreds of dollars. They are mostly made for movie productions, and those items always have inflated costs.
So most product photographers make their own out of tracing paper or a special plastic called Translum. It's $80 per roll, but lasts forever. I used to hang my scrims from the ceiling. But you can't really angle or move them, so you have to move the object you are photographing instead. Which is just a backwards way to work. So I invented my own scrims with two strips of very thin wood, metal chip clips, these little plastic feet that held up plexiglass barriers during COVID. And to weigh everything down... steel plates.
This is version 1.0 where I glued the plastic rather than affixing it with the chip clips.
The clips work much better and allow me to put different weights of plastic on, or even double plastic, for more or less diffusion. And I ended up not needing that board at the bottom which allows me to curve it as well.
And these scrims let me take this photo...
It's called graduated lighting and it makes things look neat.
I also got a backpack for my trip and shorts, but I am going to forego an explanation of those.
To all that helped, thank you so much. I hope you can see I am putting everything to good use.
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
So I've seen some people criticize lately the deconstruction of the child hero trope, arguing that it originally existed as a way of empowering kids who feel ineffective and powerless. And yeah, kids DO have a notable lack of agency that as an adult, you really begin to understand more and appreciate, at least on my end. These are all fair arguments, the deconstruction of the deconstruction, and I don't think they're necessarily wrong. It's just...
Some stories are meant for other people? The thing about this generation is that it's got a LOT on its shoulders. This generation is the one that's tired and burnt out, it has to deal with the burden of a world that's imploding in on itself, and the expectation that they have to fix it. It feels like corporations and politicians are casually destroying the world, knowing future generations will be the ones to have to clean it up, so why should they care?
There's a lot of anxiety and angst about the sociopolitical sphere. We've got the rise of Linkin Park, we've got people becoming jaded with late-stage capitalism and wondering how they can even survive in this economy. The fantasy has shifted from large and grand stuff to simply being able to survive and make a humble yet satisfying living. Kids are becoming burnt out, and being gifted is more apparently not worth the hype.
So I imagine THAT's the appeal behind the deconstruction of the kid protagonist for modern audiences, the one that's like "Hey isn't this fucked up? Isn't this messed up? The fate of the world is on this kid's shoulders, they're just a child soldier?" Because I think it reflects a lot of people's frustration with the adults around them, that it feels like the adults have become useless and are just forcing them to do things on their own, and often for them.
For a lot of young people, it feels like they're being forced to do all of the emotional labor while parents and guardians who tend to fail them, especially for being queer, ultimately slack on their duties by guilt-tripping them; Saying they've already done so much providing shelter and food, so you should be grateful, how dare you expect emotional support and the like!!!
It's all a way to vent frustration over the ineffectivity, and even abuse, of parents and guardians. It's catharsis for angst, because it feels like there's so much wrong with the world; The internet and modern communication has led to this phenomenon of "infowhelming" where kids are constantly bombarded by news of all the world's ills. It's sensory overload, it's a Greta Thunberg situation where it's inherently ridiculous that a kid has to step up and fix things, and instead of acknowledging how much help they need, the adults have the audacity to congratulate this child and put them on a pedestal as the chosen one who will fix things for them. Instead of just taking responsibility themselves.
The "Kid Protagonist is a Child Soldier" deconstruction is an outlet for kids to explore darker emotions, to admit their angst is valid, that this is a really shitty situation and this is how they can deal with it. Growing up, I already had Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, which DID play into the idea of kids cast into too much responsibility because of useless adults around them. It felt like a way for kids to cope with the fact that the world can be a very unfair place, it was cathartic in its acknowledgement of the frustration and its validity.
Plus, it's not as if all these deconstruction stories are saying that kids CAN'T have fun, that they can't do things, because kids DO want to do things!!! They want agency, they want to feel like they're making a difference! It's just that a lot of them also want the reassurance that the adults are still there for them as a support network, that they have people more experienced to fall back and rely on when it's too much; They can do their part but it's not ALL down to them, is that too much to ask for? The nuance of being able to do things, but not having to be the only one?
Sometimes kids like it both ways where they can be an adventurer but also recognize when some things messed them up, so they can have space to breathe before moving onwards. Sometimes they need a break because it IS taxing, but they’ll still go back to it. Sometimes they'll still do the work knowing how necessary it is, while wanting acknowledgement for how hard it was. People write about the traumatic effects of 'bad things' for a reason; They still want to see those bad things in media, for the catharsis of the coping and emotional fallout afterwards.
These defenses of the Kid Protagonist trope and how it resonated with kids from, say, the early 20th century is fair. It's true. But these deconstruction stories of today also apply, in that they're a power fantasy in a different way for different kids of a different generation, with different struggles. So I find it disingenuous to simply dismiss these deconstruction-type stories as just CinemaSins bathos, even if I understand that a lot of people are understandably tired of the MCU's "That just happened" attempts at self-awareness.
And I don't think kids of today are completely decrying straightforward depictions, it's just nice to have those, AND the deconstruction, to flip back and forth between as their mood needs. These types of stories where the protagonists realize they're child soldiers, like Animorphs -which itself was written for teenagers in all their angst- might simply... not be for some people. And that's okay, that's fine! Different stories resonate, different stories serve different purposes because they're by different people.
48 notes
·
View notes
Note
Okay I had a THOUGHT about Early Bird. Or specifically, what happens after it.
Because Diavolo's still out there, still has his stand arrow/s. And Giorno either doesn't exist, or he's much older than in canon. Possibly even in a position where he can be much more effective in either combatting or infiltrating Passione.
Basically what I'm trying to say is 20-something Giorno Giovanna kinda taking Bucciarati's role as inspirational surrogate parent.
ailing you managed to rummage around my brain and pull out an idea I thought I'd forgotten about
so doing the math, Jotaro would be around 31 in Canon Part 5, and he was 6 in Early Bird Part 3. Giorno was born about 3 years before Canon Part 3, which if we have that be the same here leads to a....... shockingly only 3 year age gap
now, of course there's also room to mess around with when Part 5 happens since if you wanna get really technical, Dio wouldn't have been able to be given the arrows by Enyaba since she wouldn't have been able to buy them off Doppio at this time, but that's a little too gritty for me so let's just shuffle things around instead and just say it all works out by shoving Doppio's trip back a few years
anyways back with Giorno, an old idea I had more or less has Giorno...... with the kiddos as well. I KNOW, THIS IS TECHNICALLY A PRETTY LATE ADDITION TO THE AU BUT HEAR ME OUT:
Dio of course has Jotaro already planned out to be his successor. There's a whole multilayered scheme going on here with loads of irony and revenge and what not, and he doesn't want to give that up. It's just too perfect.
However, Dio has also learned from his mistakes and knows he shouldn't put all his eggs in one basket. After all, given the fact he doesn't have Pucci this time, he is currently without a back up plan
enter: one Haruno Shiobana
this is also where Dio's interactions with the kids get more....... complicated. Because Haruno is the spare so to speak........ but at the same time he's pretty well cared for. Arguably better than the other kids, simply because of the fact he's new. Unlike the other kids, he doesn't need to be convinced of anything. This life and Dio is all he's known, he doesn't need to worry about Haruno trying to escape since....... well, why would he try
not to mention, Haruno's too young to participate in any kind of training, and again he's the spare. He shouldn't have to be trained since if everything goes to plan, he won't be needed as a successor. Maybe he could be a powerful underling one day if his Stand is strong enough, but Jotaro is supposed to be the future leader.
so honestly....... Jotaro's the only one who ever actually interacted with Giorno. He's kept separate from most of the other kids, but of course Dio wanted his heir to meet his possible second. And their interactions were about as interesting as a 3 year old and an ill 6 year old could be.
(who knows, maybe Haruno's mother is here as well? Of course, this does raise the question of whether or not she'd take Haruno with her when she inevitably flees the mansion, but for the sake of the AU let's say she does)
but when they're free.......... this is when things get a bit fun :)
because well....... given their ages, the two honestly don't remember each other super well. Haruno hardly remembers any of his time in the mansion at all, and Jotaro's memories are foggy from time and sickness. Kakyoin might know of Haruno's existence from their talks, but admittedly the toddler's importance wasn't NEARLY as much in his mind as compared to being rescued and getting Jotaro to a hospital
by the time Kakyoin's able to tell Holly and Joseph, Haruno's long gone
Italy I'd imagine isn't too different. Sure there's of course the differing dynamics between Giorno and the team given the fact he's 28 (and now the oldest member of the team by a landslide, Abbacchio being the closest at 21) but plot wise? There's definitely the question of do we play it straight or get creative with it which........ okay let's be real we're most likely gonna go the creative route jrdbvjdrbvs
I'm definitely very interested in how Koichi little quest goes down and how Giorno will deal with his chasing, and ofc how Jotaro will fall into things here
Polnareff definitely will make things interesting, since he's of course very related to Events All Those Years Ago and would likely be aware of the fact that Dio son who went missing that fateful night
there's a lot of room to Get Funky With It :)
also I'm just. Rotating Jotaro and Giorno's childhoods. How the mansion was the best and safest Giorno had ever been, and had he grown up there he honestly probably wouldn't have had that bad of a life, at least in comparison to his mother's neglect and step-father's abuse.
but that being in stark contrast to Jotaro's own experience. How the mansion was literal hell. How he was stolen away from his life and family and very nearly died, scared and alone.
how Dio managed to be Giorno's savior and Jotaro's nightmare
how Holly's rescue was Jotaro's saving grace and the thing that shattered any hope of Giorno's good future
how these two are family, both by blood and by the man who attempted to raise and shape them
#this mostly wasn't what you brought up but jdsbvjdzbvz I blame the brain#and ngl now I'm low key obsessed with the idea of Dio calling Jotaro “son.” just for the angst of it all <333#early bird#jjba#jojo's bizarre adventure#stardust crusaders#jjba part 3#golden wind#golden wind spoilers#jjba part 5#jjba giorno#giorno giovanna#jjba jotaro#jotaro kujo#jjba dio#dio brando#jjba kakyoin#noriaki kakyoin#jjba polnareff#jean pierre polnareff#jjba holly#holly kujo#sb answers#ailingwriter
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
fix me up along the line (Ste/ddie snz fic)
Summary: Another Ste/ddie snz fic! (Will I ever stop? Only time will tell.) Inspired by @sneezeshame's post here. Steve is traveling for work and is super sick. He calls Eddie from his hotel room. Future fic.
Rating: Other than snz stuff, this could be rated PG. I thought about making Eddie have the kink here, but I didn't. 1k.
Warnings: Mess. Implied future contagion.
Notes: The title is a line from the full version of the ancient song Hello My Baby. I've loved that song ever since I saw that frog singing it. 💖
-
Eddie fiddles with the strings on his guitar, killing time while he waits to hear from Steve. He’d promised he’d call Eddie once he got settled at the hotel up in Seattle; some conference his fancy job was making him travel for. Eddie had just gotten back to their house in LA from a gig that kept him away for the weekend. Their schedules caused them to just miss each other, Eddie arriving home the afternoon Steve left.
The shrill ring of the phone pulls him from his thoughts. Finally!
“Hey!”
“Hey babe.”
“You made it! Wait, you did make it, right?”
“Yep, checked idn a bidt ago,” Steve says. Eddie hears what he thinks is a squeaky, congested sniffle. “I’b godda have a shower soon and thedn head down for dinner.”
“Nice. How was the flight?” Eddie asks.
“Idt was… haah… hold odn… ihhh … hih’YEEHIISSHHH’oo!”
Eddie hears a wet, spraying sneeze explode on the other end of the line and blinks in shock. It sounds like Steve had time to twist away from the phone and has now set it down in an attempt to find some tissues.
“Shiiihh- ugh. SNF. Shidt.” An ill-sounding noseblow gurgles down the line, and concern pierces through Eddie.
“You feelin’ alright, sweetheart?”
“I’ve just beed sneezing all day,” Steve groans. “And I thigk the plane gave mbe a headache.” He follows that up with a few desperate, soupy sniffles, trying to stop his nose from running freely. “The cabidn pressure was bmessing with bmy sinuses and I couldn’t stob sneeziiii-hih… Hiiiih-ZZSSHHESSH’iue!”
“It sounds like you’re sick, babe.” He knows how stubborn Steve can be on the rare times he does get sick. Steve was already stressed about this trip, and Eddie doesn’t want him to overexert himself if he really is feeling that poorly.
“I dod’t… huh… I dod’t have tibe to be …haah… het’GGKSSHHH’uh! Hep’TIISHHH! Ughh. To be sigg.” Judging from the sound of those, Steve was just letting them fly, sneezing openly and spraying his hotel room with everything he had. The scrape of several tissues being pulled from a box fills the air, followed by a long, crackling blow.
“I hate to break it to you, but I think you might be. You sound awful already.” Eddie cups the receiver to his face with both hands. There’s a tug in his heart and he wants nothing more than for Steve to be back home so he can take care of him. He’d force him to stay in bed and would wait on him hand and foot, bringing him anything he asked for. “Did this just start today?”
“Dno…” Another sickly sniffle. “I’ve felt rudn down for a couble of days. Then last night I started sdeezing and I-iiihhh huh’KKSSSHH’IUE!” An exhausted sigh. “I didn’t gedt mbuch sleep.” He pulls a handful of tissues out, one after the other, and buries his face in them. “I thigk the pressure on the plane mbade it worse and then ihhh- HEH’TSSCHUH! Idt’s jusdt so damp here.” He clears his throat, his voice starting to go a little ragged. “I got caught ind the rain tryigg to hail a cab, which pro-ahh-bably didn’t h-he-hih’AEEISSHHah! SNF. Helb.”
“Poor thing. I wish I was there with you.”
“Probably best thadt… thadt you-ooo… huh’NGGSSHHiggh! Guh. Thadt you aren’t.” Eddie doesn’t think he’s imagining things when he hears the sheer mess of that one, thick and telling. “I thigk I’b pretty condagious. Huh… hih’YEIISHH’IUE!”
The line crackles as Steve sneezes uncovered, directly onto the receiver; the wet, viscous mess of it contaminating everything. Eddie flinches back on instinct. Steve sounds so cold-ridden and contagious that Eddie almost believes he could catch it over the phone, halfway across the country.
Steve moans, “SNF. Oh god. I’b so sorry. I cadn’t stob.”
“Steve… you sound really, really sick. Are you sure you should be going out like that?” Steve’s too busy abusing another tissue with a drenching noseblow to respond, so Eddie adds hopefully, “You should just come home.”
“Cadn’t. The bmanagement team specifically chose bme to represent the compady at the conference, and if I – if I – hih’kgxshht! Ugh. ‘Scuse bme. If I wandt the promotion I have to keeb bmy shit together. Ha-k’ISH’IGSHH’uh!”
“I don’t think anyone’s going to appreciate you getting them sick.” Eddie says, appealing to Steve’s vanity in a last-ditch effort. Everyone who comes within ten feet of him is going to be at risk of catching this thing. He’s going to be shaking so many hands, sharing so many meals, sitting in so many crowded conference rooms…
“I dod’t really have mbuch of aahh…Ha’AEESHHH’IUE! SNF. Mbuch of a choice.” Another miserable blow travels down the line, straight into Eddie’s ear.
There’s a beat of silence where Steve must be dazed after such a heavy noseblow, trying to catch his breath. Eddie can hear his open-mouthed, congested panting crackle over the phone receiver. If they don’t sanitize every inch of that place after he leaves, whoever stays there next is going to be in for a world of misery.
“I still wish there was something I could do,” Eddie says. “You sure you don’t need some food delivered? Or a care package? I can check if a delivery service would go to the pharmacy-”
“Eddie,” Steve says, and Eddie hears the smile in his voice despite everything. “You’re sweedt, but I’b good.”
“Okay…” Eddie’s still going to see about that pharmacy, just try and stop him. “You’ll let me know if it gets any worse? I could always fly up there and come rescue you.”
Steve chuckles, which turns into the beginnings of a cough. “I’ll be finde, really. Jusdt have to power through a few…heh…days…heh’RRIISHHH’IUE!” Another careless, wet sneeze bursts from him, dousing the phone in droplets, making Eddie wince again.
“May God bless your soul,” Eddie says, with exaggerated sincerity. Steve is too distracted to thank him.
“Ugh, whadt a bmess,” he says, pulling more tissues from his dwindling supply. “I’ve godda get these under condtrol.” His words are muffled into the bundle of tissues before he releases a long, squelching blow.
“Good luck with that.”
“Thaggs,” Steve responds, matching his sarcastic tone. He swallows around his burning throat. “Well, I’ve godda gedt in the shower and gedt cleaned up before dinner.”
“Alright, I’ll let you go.” Eddie has to stop himself from pouting. “But call me before you go to bed, yeah?”
“Assumbing I don’t gedt back and immediately pass oudt. Hih-kxxngt!” Steve says, smothering another sneeze in his full, slimy tissues.
Eddie huffs a laugh. “Okay. Take care of yourself, sweetheart.”
“I will. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
The last thing Eddie hears is Steve’s breath hitching before the clunk of the contaminated phone being placed back into its holder cuts off the call. Eddie immediately starts looking into getting a care package from the pharmacy delivered…maybe some soup, too. Steve’s gonna need it.
#snzblr#snz fic#snzfic#snz fics#snzfics#tw: contagion#cw: contagion#the ro/y and ja/mie fic is 3/4 done and next on the list... I just got distracted
52 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm finally at the school trip.
I'll be frank, I find these episodes incredibly stupid and contrived.
I know why they exist as he reached 1000 chapter and he wanted Shinichi to reappear and for him to finally have his terrible romance, but as he is an incredibly stupid writer, he managed to do so in the worst way possible <3 Let's just have Shinichi appear in a very public place! And Ai, the incredibly paranoid girl, just LETS HIM!
Sonoko: I want to get a romantic shot of you.
Ran: I'd rather you didn't.
And then the romantic shot in question:
And Shinichi is pushing her away too (he "confessed" first). And of course Sonoko's the one who is truly invest in the romance.
One thing I am looking forward to in these episodes is the Sonoko and Sera interaction. Yes Sera, grill him!
Oh and this is the rando who joins them.
Okay but that's not a nice thing to do. Or cute. Sonoko had no right to tell everyone something private like that. These episodes are really going to test my nerves aren't they.
And here is Ai being OOC to allow the travesty that is these episodes to exist.
Awww, Gosho thinks Shonichi actually had friends outside of Ran or Sonoko (and now Sera).
They're having pictures taken of Shinichi. He's been spotted without any disguise. That totally isn't going to have no consquences at all.
Can. We. Not. They are just talking. I forgot people aren't allowed to speak to the opposite sex, are they.
And of course Sonoko is jealous for Ran- Nevermind. This is so bad already T-T Someone save me.
Sera being cute and immediately looking at Ran to show how cute she is.
Lesbians.
Shinichi and Sera working together <3 Practising for their future as detectives in an agency together!
I will say it again. They really don't play with the fact that it is agony for them to go through the transformation enough.
What a nice way to speak to your "girlfriend" Shinichi.
Oh the room number matched the episode number.
Can we not lie about things like this? I know it was Heiji who did so but still. Telling lies about things you've done with girls is NOT a very good look and can be very insulting to the girl your lying about.
You know, to avoid the roommate situation, you could just tell the teachers you've been pretty ill and or have reasons why you need a seperate room and that if it's an issue your very rich parents could be the ones who buy the room.
But that would be smart and there is nothing smart in these episodes except how the criminal committed the crime.
...Well it is also a Heiji episode so they might as well bring back the demons.
Ran should be so much more pissed off about this but then again, girls aren't allowed to be angry at their love interests, just feigning it.
I don't think Mary should exist. I think Sera should be allowed to have figured out Shinichi's secret and be fucking furious on Ran's behalf, and doing everything in her power to tell her about it. Sorry, I'm just projecting onto the characters but then again, Gosho does that too so can you blame me <3
I have a feeling Gosho is also telling this story not because it relates to the case but also to "mimic" Ran and Shinichi but there is a big difference: Ran isn't respected by Shinichi whatsoever and he plans to NEVER tell her anything. He is actually happy being to continue to gaslight and manipulate her in order to "protect" her.
I will say it's not often I see the women fantasize about a man's lips.
AND Gosho can't resist being gross.
"HEY WANT TO SEXUALLY ASSAULT WOMEN?!"
Rando: You hesitated because you've seen them before.
Me: Actually it just looked like he wasn't really interested.
It's sad that Heiji is more concerned about Shinichi's secret than he is- Nevermind he actually cares more about the school trip. Do they not realise that HIS LIFE WILL BE IN DANGER IF HE'S FOUND OUT?!
I'm mad that Momoji's breasts were brought up but damn is Sera such a lesbian.
And we can't have an episode focused on the romance between Ran and Shinichi without him being disgustingly jealous because how dare Ran be friends with another man doesn't she know she's Shinichi's property!
OKAY SHINICHI PRETENDING TO BE CHILDISH WAS VERY FUNNY THOUGH.
Shinichi probably just heard that Kazuha can see Heiji on TV and he is NOT CONCERNED?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS PLOT.
And here comes Okita definitely not here to make Shinichi jealous and Sonoko think Ran is "cheating" on a boy she's not even dating.
Yukiko and Yuusaku are that pajamas meme.
Rolling my eyes because here's the jealousy. Sonoko is usually a good friend but I guess she doesn't mind causing issues in relationships for her own amusement.
Shinichi. It's called having a friend. I know you don't know what that is because you're not even friends with Ran but you better fucking learn and stop being an abusive and controlling.
Here's a good idea? WHY DON'T YOU JUST ASK HER WHAT IT WAS ABOUT. OR AN EVEN BETTER IDEA, WHY DON'T YOU JUST TRUST HER?!
...How did Shinichi push off the transformation?
Oh, surprise Kaito!
It's nice to see Shinichi's husband.
And these deaths were caused by miscommunication.
I feel absolutely nothing. Because this moment is not deserved in the absolute slightest.
Shinichi, have you considered that she wasn't ready for a kiss yet? But no, you had to get what YOU wanted. How fucking gross.
I've never been more thankful for the poison. And it's funny how he was able to starve off the transformation for a case but not for Ran. How interesting.
Gosho: how do I make it so Shinichi's presense won't be leaked.
Gosho: I know, I'll ask a bunch of teenagers not to post online
Get with the times, old man.
Ran, always more invested in other relationships over her own. That's not a sign at all.
LMAO I love the men asking how it's like to kiss Shinichi. Seems like they have a crush on him, not Ran.
Gosho, can you at least pretend to respect women.
The Sera and Mary plot are actually the first interesting thing to happen in this episode.
And of course Shinichi insults Ran. I don't have any issue with playful insults in relationships but it's very clear that Shinichi actually thinks of Ran as an idiot who he doesn't trust. But he's okay manipulating her this way because Ran is his possession and he gets what he wants.
I'm so glad I got through these episodes.
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
3, 7, and 40 for weekend and belos'
3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?
ooooh theres so many i would never touch. the first one that comes to mind is accidental pregnancy which like. i dont even write romance much. also hate student/teacher. uhh nonromance id go with. uh. i cannot think of anything rn lmao
7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
ooooh id have to go with a snippet from a shera fic i did a while back. torn between two but ill go with the shorter one just because. not sure what counts as a snippet oops.
"Adora rolls her eyes, but stands up to join them. As she runs over, she knows that she’ll trip over her dress several times, and their clothes will all be covered in grass stains that will take forever to wash out. But Adora is here, in a future where there is no war to fight, where they can laugh freely and love and she doesn't feel selfish anymore for wanting a happy ending."
bad at explaining myself but like. its the potential of a happy ending, of not everything being perfect but it good, and thats worth living for. its a whole metaphor about feminity and wartime and accepting yourself. that its okay to be safe now, its okay to be soft and vulnerable and to start healing. apologies for being incoherent
40. Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).
ohohohohhohho you know whats funny. i actually did have an alternate ending planned where hunter just. slept through the rebelllion and just woke up after it was over and was like "what the fuck." anyways i sat down and wrote this in a night (ive been saving the ask until it was finished so thats why im answering it late sorry!) so enjoy 2k words of that under the cut. apologies for typos i tried my best to read this over lmao. you can also read this on ao3 now yipee
Hunter stared at his clock, and scowled. Shit. He had 20 minutes until the coven head meeting!
He stood up, quickly scrambling for his notes. He wanted to try and get there early, so he could figure out somewhat of a plan.
Flapjack lifted their head up, disrupted from their slumber. What is boy doing?
His foot slipped on a piece of paper, and he barely managed to catch himself on the edge of his desk. “I have a meeting! I need to go talk to the other coven heads, and-”
Have time! Should rest!
He scowled. “Flapjack, I don’t have time to rest! I need to prepare my notes! I still haven’t figure out what I’m going to say to Terra, or Adrian, or how to deal with the recent riots-”
Nap time! Boy too tired to think!
“You always say it’s nap time.”
Because boy is always tired!
He sighed, flopping back on his bed and letting the stack of papers in his arms scatter onto the floor. Flapjack did have a bit of a point. He had been staying up later and later, getting less sleep in favor of trying to take care of… well, everything.
He could get ready in ten minutes. It wouldn’t take long to teleport. Just closing his eyes for a few minutes surely wouldn’t hurt. And he wouldn’t actually fall asleep. He would just lay here!
“Just ten minutes. Then I have to go.”
Flapjack chirped. Nap! Nap!
“Not a nap, Flap,” He mumbled. “M just resting my eyes.”
He didn’t even realize he was falling asleep.
___
He woke up to the smell of smoke.
He shot up out of bed, head swiveling as he took stock of the room. Everything seemed to be in order, except-
“FLAPJACK!”
The bird had at some point moved inside his shirt. They peeked their head out, looking adorable as always, but Hunter wasn’t fooled.
He glared at them. “I said ten minutes.”
Boy needed nap!
He pointed at the window. “IT’S DARK OUTSIDE NOW! IT’S NIGHTTIME!”
Not that late. Sun just set. More like evening!
He dragged a hand down his face and groaned. “Flapjack. I missed the coven head meeting. The one thing I cannot, under any circumstances, miss.”
Flapjack did not look even remotely apologetic.
Hunter sighed, standing up and brushing back his hair. The smell of smoke was still lingering in the air, and he poked his head out the window, following the smell.
Ah. That might be a problem.
The area of the castle where Terra and Adrian had been fighting the other day looked even worse than before, mainly because it was on fire. Several scouts were running around in a panic, and if he listened closely, he could hear the faint sound of screaming.
Flapjack had moved to sit on his desk, and he slowly turned to glare at them. “Flapjack.”
They chirped.
“This is why we don’t skip coven head meetings! Look at what happened while I was asleep. The castle is on fire!” He sighed.
Could be worse!
He flung his arms out, staring the bird down in frustration. “How could this be worse?!”
The Titan must have thought that was funny, because at that moment his door was slammed open with a war cry.
“GOLDEN GUARD!”
Something (someone?) charged through his door, and he screeched, barely avoiding their tackle. Whoever it was slammed into his wall, sending feathers flying everywhere. Why there were feathers, he didn’t know. Maybe they were because of the large wings that were almost smacking him in the face.
Flapjack screeched, dive bombing the intruder, and Hunter quickly scrambled back, grabbing a heavy textbook detailing the criminal justice system and hurling it at their face. They shouted in pain, falling back onto the floor, and Hunter decided that was his cue to go.
He skidded out into the hallway, his slippers barely staying on his feet, while Flapjack circled nervously around his head. Behind him, he could hear the sound of the mystery attacker getting up, and he risked a glimpse behind him as Flapjack transformed into a staff.
“Golden Guard, kid, wait a second-”
Their voice sounded somewhat familiar, but he was too busy grabbing his staff. The last thing he saw before teleporting away into a haze of golden light was what looked to be some kind of harpy woman, heading straight for him.
He bounced across the castle, not having much of a destination in mind besides something that was away from the harpy lady. He materialized in a small room with dim lighting, and as he leaned against the brick walls he realized he was in the break room.
There were technically several break rooms scattered around the castle, but those were all empty storage closets scouts had converted into a break room in their free time with their own money. (Hunter may or may not have contributed to them with money from the castle treasury). This, however, was the official break room, the one all the coven heads used, and the one that the Emperor made somewhat of an attempt to maintain.
He hadn’t been here in a couple weeks, with the whole “accidentally killed my Uncle and now running the government from my bedroom” issue. Not much had changed since the last time he was here. The table was still stained, one of the chairs still had a wobbly leg, the sink was still dripping water because no one knew how to fix the leak, there were still a few spare coven cloaks lying in a pile on the floor, and the fridge still had several post-its about labeling your food properly and not letting it sit in the fridge for months and stink up the room.
The bulletin board, however, had a few changes. The ‘days since Kikimora tried to assassinate someone’ board had been reduced back to zero (last time he saw it it was at 11, which was a new record), and there were several notes stating that due to being understaffed, everyone would be getting extra shifts. Which was weird, because Hunter thought he was in charge of scheduling guard shifts, but he had handed off so many of his duties to Kikimora and random coven captains that he wasn’t sure anymore. Also, why had no one told him they were understaffed?
Someone had also brought in cookies, and there were still a few left. Yay! He grabbed one from the box, biting into it.
“Want a piece? Its chocolate cricket flavor.” He broke off a small chunk, offering it to the palisman, who began gleefully pecking it. He finished eating the rest of the cookie, wandering over to the sink.
He smacked the faucet, hoping that maybe this time it would stop the leaking, but it did nothing. Like it did every time. He sighed, and turned towards the clawfee machine, turning it on. Next to the sink was a small collection of drying dishes, one of which included a mug that said ‘world’s best nephew’ in hot pink script.
“Hey Flapjack, I found my favorite mug!” He picked it up, thankfully finding it clean. He had been searching for that mug for weeks! Although, it seemed a bit inaccurate, with the whole ‘killed my uncle’ and ‘being a grimwalker of his brother’ thing. Nope, that was a problem for another time.
He shrugged, watching as the clawfee pot came to a boil. Flapjack was hopping around the table, pecking the various crumbs that had been left behind. Hunter should probably be stopping them, but he figured if Flapjack had survived this long with such little self preservation, they would probably be fine.
Probably.
He poured the clawfee into his mug, and moved to sit down in a chair. The good chair, not the one with the wobbly leg that made you rock back and forth every time you moved the slightest inch.
He sighed, leaned back in his chair, and stared vacantly at the wall. “So,” he said calmly. “I think there might be a rebellion going on right now.”
Flapjack chirped anxiously. Hunter stared at the bird. “You know, this is why we don’t skip coven head meetings.”
He sipped on his clawfee, savoring the bitter taste. Oh, sweet caffeine, how he missed it. Having energy was fantastic.
“I should probably go out there and deal with that.”
Or don’t! Don’t risk yourself!
“Flapjack, I don’t think that's an option.”
Run away to woods! Can hunt for worms!
“I can’t eat worms! You can hunt all you want, I’ll forage for berries.”
Good plan!
Hunter groaned. “Terrible plan.” It wasn't like he had any ideas. He had been slowly preparing a runaway bag, but he had hoped he would have a few more weeks before he had to use it. This was his punishment for procrastinating.
He stood up, taking a long swig of the coffee. “Okay, my stuff is in my room. Let’s see if we can try to sneak back there, and if anyone is still alive.” He looked down at himself, grimacing at his lack of armor. He was still in his PJS!
Hesitantly, he lifted one of the coven scout cloaks from the pile on the floor, checking it over. There didn’t appear to be any visible stains, so he shrugged, putting it on.
Flapjack chirped, and fluttered on top of his head. Hunter sighed, but said nothing, pulling up his hood to cover the bird. He opened the door and hesitantly peeked his head out. There didn’t seem to be anyone, so he stepped out into the hallway, letting the door shut behind him.
Picking a random direction, he began walking, the only sound being his bunny slippers slapping against the tile. He nervously clutched his cloak, suddenly beginning to regret every decision he had ever made that had led him to this situation.
He rounded a corner to see a hallway that looked very much destroyed. A section of the ceiling had collapsed, and plants and abomination goo was everywhere. Several coven scouts were lying unconscious on the floor.
Hunter bit his lip, and with a start realized he was still holding his mug. There was still a little bit of clawfee in it, so he could throw it at someone and run if he needed to. The perfect weapon. What a plan.
He froze at the sound of footsteps, frantically looking for a place to hide. He slid behind a pile of rubble, hoping that he would just be mistaken for an unconscious scout.
The sound of footsteps grew closer, and then stopped. “I could have sworn I heard something over here,” a familiar voice muttered. Oh shit.
Hunter involuntarily flinched, shifting the rubble he was hiding behind with his movement.
“Over there!” Oh, he recognized that voice too, although it was only marginally better than the first one. Maybe if he stayed very very still, they wouldn’t notice him?
He yelped as abomination goo wrapped around his legs, dragging him out into the open and pinning his arms to his side. He scowled at the awkward angle his arm was held at, the clawfee slowly dripping out of his mug and onto the floor.
Darius crossed his arms, lifting an eyebrow at Hunter. “Ah, Little prince. You’re looking… unwell.”
Hunter, very maturely, stuck out his tongue, something that only caused Darius’s scowl to deepen.
Behind Darius, Luz cheerfully waved at him. “Hi Hunter! You kind of caught us at a bad time.” She turned down the hallway, cupping a hand to her mouth. “HEY GUYS, WE FOUND HUNTER! OVER HERE!”
Darius winced at her yelling, rubbing his ears. Hunter wished he could do the same, because wow Luz could shout loud.
The two of them turned back to face him and he grimaced. “Uh, hi?” He said awkwardly. Maybe they would be nice and just kill him right away. Luz could probably convince them not to hurt Flapjack.
Luz shoved her hands in her pockets, grinning casually. “Hunter, my man! I’ve been looking for you! Sorry about the whole, uh, overthrowing the government thing.”
‘It’s fine,” He said, even though it was very much not fine. “It was already falling apart anyways.”
Darius stepped towards him, frowning. “About that, actually. We have quite a few questions to ask you, Golden Guard.”
Luz’s grin became just a bit more shaky. “Not bad questions! Just, uh, questions. It’ll be great!” She did not sound convinced of her own words. “It’s fine.”
Hunter sighed. He should have just stayed in bed. This was all Flapjack’s fault. He was never trusting that adorable little bird again, no matter how cute they were.
#fanfic#ask game#toh#weekend at belos's#lilac post#writing#can't believe none of you bothered to mention the numerous typos I had to go back and edit :(
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
✚ Baizhu x Dehya ✚ An Excerpt From Qiqi's Notebook Titled "Dehya"
Dehya
Dr. Baizhu introduced me to a strange woman. Not from around here. She is tall...tan...muscular. Long brown hair. Hair looks like ears of a cat. Does not actually work like cat ears. Unusual, as she has cat-like eyes.
Dr. Baizhu says her name is Dehya. She is an "Eremite." It is a type of mercenary from Sumeru.
She uses a claymore, and possesses a Pyro vision. Dr. Baizhu claims that her fighting style is reckless and awe inspiring. I have yet to see this for myself.
Dr. Baizhu speaks very highly of this woman. When they are not together, I will hear him referencing Dehya while speaking to himself.
Notable things that I have heard:
"If she keeps coming here in such conditions, her body may become as damaged as mine. Surely, I am not to allow that!"
"It's been a while since Dehya dropped by with some horrific injury that she claims to have long since healed from. I hope she isn't walking around with her leg dangling off of her body.”
"Ah, she is a fine woman of admirable might. She could topple me in an instant, but that is not saying much."
"I'm surprised that she is willing to stick with someone as frail as me. I can hardly keep up with life in itself, and this woman is willing to traverse Teyvat just to check upon my ever-declining health.”
"Qiqi will probably not remember you the next time you come to visit. Do not mind her, as her memory is not the greatest.”
Must focus my memory exercises on this woman more. She seems to be a regular visitor to the pharmacy. Might become a permanent resident in the near future.
Miscellaneous notes about meeting Dehya:
She picked me up and held me in her arm. I was too slow to react. I could only look directly at her. Her body was quite warm. Made me feel like I was alive again.
I have seen her holding Dr. Baizhu on the couch. Dr. Baizhu is usually asleep peacefully while she runs her bare hands through his hair. Dehya seems to be very gentle with Dr. Baizhu. She has never once disturbed his slumber.
I have asked to sit with them before. Dr. Baizhu and Dehya have no objections. Dehya lets me sit in her lap. I understand why Dr. Baizhu falls asleep on her so quickly.
Dehya is a very strong woman. She helps out around the pharmacy a lot. She also handles Dr. Baizhu with great care.
Dehya has taught me many things before. Lots of Sumeru knowledge. May not come in handy in Liyue, but it is nice to remember what lies beyond. Some loose papers in the notebook are from her, signed with her name. They contain various notes of no particular theme. Dr. Baizhu knows I may forget these papers, and he will return any pieces that I may have lost.
Dr. Baizhu has agreed to tell me the story of how he met Dehya. He told me to write this down as I will not retain it all later.
Some time ago, an Eremite came to Liyue as Bubu Pharmacy had a specific medicine. This medicine was most effective at tending to a certain illness. Dr. Baizhu did not specify the kind of illness. The Eremite that was seeking treatment was Dehya. Dr. Baizhu successfully treated her, with no concerning side effects. She was satisfied with her treatment, so she vowed to come again if she ever needed anything related to medicine.
She came again, seeking supplies for her soldiers. She was intrigued when she learned that Dr. Baizhu was too weak to assist with delivery. She learned about his poor physical health, and Dr. Baizhu admitted that his undead child was healthier than a man still walking. Dehya was still grateful for his assistance. She wanted to support his business and allow him to live more comfortably.
Dehya made frequent trips to return to Liyue. Dr. Baizhu would request for me to gather herbs, and Dehya accompanied me. She said that she would look out for me like how she wanted to look out for Dr. Baizhu. Dehya told me many times that she found Baizhu oddly charming, and was so open about discussing this due to the fact that I would not remember. She was right. I did not remember.
Dr. Baizhu said that he was drawn to her. Like a strong protector of sorts. I asked if it was the same way I viewed him as protector. He said no. It is apparently a different kind of protector.
Dr. Baizhu refused to elaborate further on how he felt about Dehya. He said I will never grow enough to understand what he is talking about, nor will I be able to experience it myself.
Whatever Dr. Baizhu and Dehya have, it seems to be a strong kind of a bond. I can compare it to family. Family is one thing that I have learned and can recall with great ease. Dehya and Baizhu seem to fit that definition. I think they may see me as family as well.
Thoughts on Dehya:
I like her. Very strong. Uses her strength to look after Dr. Baizhu. Also uses her strength to look after me. Tough personality. Sense of a leader. She does exercises with me. Dehya has taught me stretching techniques to better ward off rigor mortis. Sometimes, Dr. Baizhu joins us for light stretches as well.
I feel like I will need to memorize more about Dehya. I asked Dr. Baizhu if I should focus on learning about her.
His response:
"Qiqi, you very much should familiarize yourself with Dehya. She may become a permanent resident, after all. Don't worry, she won't be upset with you for your memory issues. She is a caring woman despite her razor-sharp attitude, and there's no doubt she will take a liking to you if she is willing to keep me of all people in her life.”
I do not fully understand Dr. Baizhu and Dehya's bond. They seem to care for each other, and they care for me.
I hope she becomes an easy memory for me.
#genshin impact#genshin impact fluff#baizhu#dehya genshin#fanfic#fanfiction#baizhya#im claiming that as the ship name yeet
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
1, 10, 15, 16
Thanks for leaving me some fanfiction asks too!!
How long ago did you start reading or writing fanfiction? Damn, I had to been when I was around about twelve or maybe thirteen. I don't know if anyone remembers the-ndotcom message boards, various Degrassi message boards (mainly Degrassi boards aka DB, anyone around, I honestly doubt it?), and of course, fanfictiondotnet my online life in the mid-2000s.💗
When I was third grade, I remember writing things that resembled fanfiction. Typically based off of some shows I saw (such as Sabrina the teenage Witch, TGIF line up was awesome) or books I read like The Boxcar Children or Junie B, for these writing journal prompts for school the teacher would assign us. When I say it's all cringe and embarrassing as hell, Let's just say I'm glad no evidence of that writing existed. That wasn't even the tip of the iceberg there, I also wanted to *be* a friggin' author. I'd even include these cheesy bios for each 'book' I would make for myself bc I'd always see them in books I read in childhood.
Fast forward to 2003, my first fanfiction (when I knew I was writing fanfiction) was a doozy for Degrassi written about Sean, Craig, and Emma in some weird season 2 timeline with a love triangle, an ill-fated camping trip, Sean's newly sober mother made an appearance in the form of a camp organizer desperate to reconnect with her son and bring him home much to his chagrin, and other things I forgot about and wouldn't wanna think much on. I was basically winging it. I'm afraid it's gone. I had notebooks and notebooks filled with stories around this time.
10. Worst writing habits? Abandoning and giving up without a doubt. A horrid habit that becomes tempting when I get writer's block, and then I just start the hell over and make something totally new and forget about it drop it like a bad habit, and the cycle comes back around like a shitty boomerang. I then will read the old one months or even years later and be filled with regret or have five million new ideas for said abandoned story. Maybe then I rework it in the future someday or in a whole dif story which has been done before. I am already my own worst critic, but I hate super flaming, negative criticism that shit doesn't help anyone except be tempted to give up.
Some fic I abandoned needed to be, such as the Zoemund vehicle in a weird alternate season thirteen titled The Starlet and Dealer. Not that I need to explain myself, but I didn't feel right writing something portraying a couple with literally no chance on any planet, not even interested in men on the whole didn't make much sense. Also who would read that considering all that? It's available on fanfictiondotnet who cares? I moved on it's never gonna have an ending.
Backtrack has more of a chance of getting an ending, and yes, it's an *almost* ten-year-old fic, just saying.😄😄😄
Another habit is simply beating myself up, comparing myself and just simply hating on myself which I gotta stop doing. Honorable mention, stuff like not being in the mood to write, or getting too much on my plate and then not writing.
15. One-shots or multi-chapters? Multichapters Angst? Yes. Fluff? Yes. Smut? I'm not that brave ha, not for a lack of trying. I usually do the ol' Disney-style cut away. I'm so lame. Hurt/comfort? Yes. Fantasy? Nah. Romance? My bread and butter🥰. Which one is your favorite? Hmm I'd say romance with multiple chapters all the way! Which one is your least favorite? My least favorite is when the protag gets pregnant and the whole story is just fucked after that because it just doesn't interest me. It's just so unoriginal and a little predictable. Unpopular or popular opinion who cares, not every love story or romance ends with a baby or a pregnancy 🤷♀️. I'm down for a wedding that would be something fun to tackle in writing. No, really though, out of the listed, I'd say I don't care for fantasy.
16. What’s your favorite headcanon or trope? For semma related fic's stories, I like incorporating things such as emphasis on photographs, flashbacks to past events, and some other memories from their past relationships with one another or things we didn't get to see. For example, Emma had this little box with moments like movie ticket stubs, Sean's old denim jacket (before he started wearing hoodies), Emma's retired dolphin pants, obviously photographs, a few burned mix CDs, letters, and or notes passed from class, and more miscellaneous items.
As for Emma and Jay another Degrassi pairing I write often, for example, I like including a treehouse motif. It's a long story, but in my invented backstory for Jay, Connie (Fancy) is his mother, She left his father for Mr. Edwards (Darcy and Clare's father) she met at the strip club. They had an affair resulting in pregnancy so there's a drama with that. Obviously, Jay and Darcy clash (naturally) and act like they're not related at school is an arrangement beneficial to both for Darcy's popularity and Jay had a reputation to uphold and also there's Jay's young maybe five year old half-sister from Randall and Connie named Christina affectionately nicknamed Chrissy. Jay resents his mother for leaving their father and making this new family with these stuck-up people he seems to detest and what it did to his father who had fallen in a reclusive depression since their divorce.
Chrissy idolizes Jay and serves as an honorary shipper for Emma and Jay, and sometimes provides comic relief. At Jay's dad's house is where the treehouse comes in, and Jay's super attached to it and his father too who he is still close with. The treehouse is a special spot for Jay. He eventually brings Emma into his world and treehouse, and the setting symbolizes a lot in their relationship. All this lore was created long before Jay or Darcy had a canon backstory or last names purely based on speculation. There's also related Jay/Alex lore about their past relationship, invented things from their dysfunctional childhoods. I also have a host of headcanons for Emma, Manny, and JT's childhood memories growing up together.
For tropes, I dig the first love/true love, mutual pining, enemies to lovers, slow burns, and secret relationships/forbidden love is always fun to write. I recently attempted a fake dating story Faking It/(a03)
This all is a lot of fun to write. Thanks Emma! I hope you also like writing responses to these type of questions! I’m always available and down for more questions about fanfiction! 💌
#asks#tht70sblog#💌 thank-you for the ask!#writing#writing tag#fanfiction#fic#degrassific#semma#emjay
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
also bro i feel like this video is gonna be us at some point in the future xD https://www.youtube.com/shorts/p6fj3G_aNu0 12/20/23 7:45 pm
Monday, December 25, 2023
[2:00 AM] Ragtime Cat: merry christmas bro!!!
Monday, January 1, 2024
[12:15 AM] Ragtime Cat: HAPPY NEW YEAR BRO!!!
Thursday, January 4, 2024
[5:26 PM] ✦randi✦: OH GOD BRO STEAM DIDNT SHOW ME ANY OF YOUR MESSAGES OMG HAPPY NEW YEAR!! MERRY cHRISTmas!! ALSO YES THAT WILL BE US OMG I HOPE YOURE DOING OKAY!! A LOT HAS HAPPENED TO ME THESE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS
[11:07 PM] Ragtime Cat: SHAKES FIST DAMNIT STEAM. DONT DO THIS TO US IS IT GOOD THINGS I HOPE?? TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT BRO THERE'S BEEN A LOT HAPPENING OVER HERE TOO BUT I WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOU FIRST
Friday, January 5, 2024
[12:15 AM] ✦randi✦: I EVEN HAVE IT ON MY PHONE TO TRY AND MAKE SURE I RECIEVE MESSAGES OMG. AND YES AND NO, BUT I WOULD SAY MOSTLY GOOD. THE BIG ONE IS THAT ROMAN AND I BROKE UP IN NOVEMBER. ILL SAVE YOU THE DETAILS, IT WAS PROBABLY AS GOOD OF A BREAKUP AS ONE COULD GO. THINGS JUST DIDNT WORK OUT AND HE DIDNT LOVE ME ANYMORE. THATS THE BIG NEWS. HOWEVER, I HAVE A NEW BOYFRIEND ACTUALLY. HE IS WONDERFUL, HIS NAME IS ADAM. I KNOW IT SEEMS A LITTLE FAST BUT AFTER REFLECTION, IT WASNT MUCH OF A RELATIONSHIP FOR A FEW YEARS. SERIOUSLY, ADAM AND I HAVE DONE MORE FUN DATE THINGS ALREADY. WEVE BEEN DATING SINCE A FEW DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS LOL. BUT DID SOME DATES BEFORE THEN. ANYWAY, AND THEN I GOT A HUGE PROMOTION AT WORK! WELL KINDA. ITS BEEN A MESS A LITTLE. SO I DON'T KNOW IF I TOLD YOU THAT IVE BEEN WORKING AT A GROCERY STORE FOR A LITTLE NOW, ILL BE THERE THREE YEARS IN JULY. BUT I AM ALMOST PROBABLY GONNE BE THE ASSISTANT STORE MANAGER SOON! UNFORTUNATELY THE OTHERONE GOT SUPER SICK AND SHE HAD TO RESIGN, BUT THINGS WERE UP IN THE AIR FOR A WHILE, AND IVE BEEN THE TEMP ASST STORE MANAGER SINCE MID OCT I THINK. ANYWAYS, BUSY BUT EXCITING!WHAT ABOUT YOU BRO?? I HOPE GOOD THINGS TOO!
[2:34 PM] Ragtime Cat: OMG WHY DOESN'T IT WORK THEN C'MON STEAM DO BETTER THAN THAT.OH BRO, I'M SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOU AND ROMAN. HOWEVER, I'M ALSO HAPPY TO HEAR ABOUT YOU AND ADAM. CONGRATS ON GETTING A WONDERFUL NEW BOYFRIEND AND I'M SO GLAD THINGS ARE GOING SO WELL BETWEEN YOU TWO. I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GOING TOO FAST AT ALL. IF HE MAKES YOU HAPPY THAN THAT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT YEAH?THAT'S ALSO AMAZING BRO! CONGRATS ON YOUR PROMOTION AT WORK AS WELL. I HONESTLY CAN'T REMEMBER IF YOU'D TOLD ME BEFORE OR NOT. YOU PROBABLY DID THOUGH. ANYWAY IT'S A SHAME THAT THE OTHER ONE GOT REAL SICK AND HAD TO QUIT. THAT'S NOT SO GOOD. BUT AT LEAST THINGS AREN'T SO UP IN THE AIR ANYMORE RIGHT? NOW YOU KNOW FOR SURE! IT IS BUSY BUT EXCITING!!!I'M ON THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE END OF THINGS ACTUALLY. INSTEAD OF GOOD THINGS HAVE BEEN ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE. WE ALMOST LOST ALL THE RENTALS BECAUSE ONE GUY WANTED TO BE A COMPLETE ASSHOLE. I ALMOST ENDED UP HOMELESS BECAUSE MY YOUNGER BROTHER WON'T ADMIT HE HAS ANGER ISSUES AND WENT ON A MASSIVE POWER TRIP FOR ABOUT TWO MONTHS AND TRIED TO KICK ME OUT,OF MY OWN HOUSE TWICE QUOTING THAT I'M USELESS AND WORTHLESS AND EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY HATES ME. I'M STILL HERE THANKFULLY AND HE'S NOT GOTTEN HIS WAY. BUT IT'S REALLY PUT A WEDGE IN NOT ONLY OUR RELATIONSHIP, BUT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY DAD AS WELL. BECAUSE HE ALSO SAID I'M PRETTY USELESS BECAUSE I DON'T MEET HIS EXPECTATIONS OF ME. WHEN HIS EXPECTATIONS ARE FOR ME TO GET A JOB HE PICKS OUT INSTEAD OF THE ONE I'M DOING THAT I LIKE. SO HE CAN QUIT HIS JOB AND NOT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING BECAUSE I'LL BE TAKING CARE OF HIM. WHICH IS NOT HOW I WAS RAISED TO DO THINGS AND HE KNOWS THAT SO I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S SUDDENLY COME FROM. BUT MY AUNT AND UNCLE FROM HIS SIDE OF THE FAMILY ARE REALLY PUSHING FOR ME TO DO THIS TOO CAUSE IT'S "MY RESPONSIBILITY AS THE OLDEST CHILD" WHEN THEIR OWN FUCKING CHILDREN DON'T DO THAT FOR THEM. AND THEY DON'T DO THAT FOR THEIR MOM, WHO I'VE NEVER THOUGHT OF AS A GRANDMA SO I DON'T CALL HER THAT. BUT YEAH LIKE WHAT THE FUCK??ON TOP OF THAT I'VE BEEN LIVING BASICALLY IN OUR DEN FOR THE MONTH AND A HALF BECAUSE THERE'S SOME WEIRD POWER STUFF GOING ON WITH MY ROOM. THE OUTLETS JUST STOPPED WORKING SUDDENLY FOR NO APPARENT REASON. ALL OF OUR TESTERS AND METERS AND STUFF SAY THEY'RE GETTING POWER BUT NOTHING TURNS ON WHEN YOU PLUG IT IN, AND IT'S TOO COLD FOR ME TO BE IN THERE WITHOUT A HEATER. UNFORTUNATELY THAT MEANS I HAVE ABSOLUTELY ZERO PRIVACY ANYMORE AND IT'S REALLY STARTING TO WEAR ON ME. I HATE IT BUT EVERYONE'S DRAGGING THEIR FEET ABOUT DOING SOMETHING TO GET IT FIXED OURSELVES AND I'M NOT MAKING ENOUGH TO HIRE AN ELECTRICIAN. SO IT JUST SUCKS ALL AROUND. ;n; A LOT OF PERSONAL STUFF FROM MY MAMAW AND PAPAW THAT I REALLY CARED ABOUT GOT DESTROYED TOO AND THAT'S HURT ME. I FEEL LIKE ANY TIME WE DO A LIFE UPDATE I'M GOING THROUGH SOMETHING ROUGH ANYMORE. BUT YEAH THAT'S HOW THE PAST LIKE HALF A YEAR HAS BEEN FOR ME.
Saturday, January 6, 2024
[Yesterday, 8:08 PM] ✦randi✦: I KNOW, ITS SO STUPID. I HAVE THE SPECIFIC CHAT APP FOR THIS REASON, BUT NOOO. IT IS OKAY. IT NEEDED TO HAPPEN, AND I REALLY ADORE ADAM. HES A GREAT GUY. HE DOES MAKE ME VERY HAPPY OMG. AND THANK YOU FOR THE CONGRATS ON THE PROMOTION. I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT ALL OF THAT FUCKIN SHIT THAT IS GOING ON, HOLY COW BRO. YOU'RE PUTTING UP WITH SO MUCH, DAMN. IM GLAD YOURE STILL THERE, I CANT BELIEVE HE WOULD TRY AND MAKE YOU HOMELESS HOLY SHIT. HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A BIT OF A PROBLEM THOUGH, WHICH IS UNFORTUNATE. BUT HOLY.FUCKING.SHIT I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOUR DAD. YOU DAD?? THE LIKE, ONE GOOD FAMILY MEMBER YOU HAD LEFT. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH HIM. IM SO SO SORRY YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT BRO, D: HAVING NO PRIVACY IS REALLY BAD, I CANT EVEN IMAGINE THAT BRO. I YHOPE IT GETS FIXED SOON OR SOMETHING FOR YOUR SAKE. GOD BRO I REALLY HOPE THINGS TURN AROUND, IM SORRY ITS BEEN SO BAD FOR YOU. YOU DESERVE MUCH BEETER
Sunday, January 7, 2024
[11:05 PM] Ragtime Cat: I KNOW BRO. THAT'S ANOTHER THING I'M TRYING TO GET SORTED OUT IS GETTING A BETTER COMPUTER SO WE CAN HANG OUT AGAIN WHEN YOU'VE GOT TIME! SOMETHING MORE RELIABLE THAN A SECONDHAND ANXIETY TRAP THAT'S JUST GOING TO DIE ON ME AGAIN IF I BREATH ON IT WRONG. BUT I'M HAPPY THAT HE MAKES YOU HAPPY AND THAT THINGS ARE GOING MUCH BETTER WITH HIM. MAYBE I CAN MEET HIM IF I EVER GET THE CHANCE TO COME VISIT? I STILL HAVE THE BOX OF STUFF I MEANT TO SEND YOU IN A PACKAGE. BUT I THINK THAT WAS WHEN THE MESS WITH YOUR BASEMENT STARTED HAPPENING AND I JUST HAVEN'T THOUGHT TO ASK WHERE TO SEND IT TO SINCE THEN. ALSO YOU'RE WELCOME BRO! I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT YOU DESERVE IT AND ARE GOING TO DO GREAT IN THE POSITION. THAT'S HONESTLY ONLY LIKE A THIRD OF IT TOO. EVER SINCE MY MOM DIED I'VE JUST BEEN IN HELL AND DEALING WITH SO MUCH. I'M ALSO SORRY BRO I WAS HALF ASLEEP WHEN I WROTE THAT BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN SLEEPING WELL SO I'M UTTERLY EXHAUSTED MOST OF THE DAY SO I DIDN'T REALIZE UNTIL I LOOKED BACK AND READ IT BUT IT'S NOT MY DAD DAD LIKE THE ONE YOU LOVE SO MUCH THAT DID ALL THAT IT'S MY STEPDAD. THE ONE THAT LIVES WITH ME AND MY BROTHER. I'M REALLY SORRY FOR NOT LIKE CLARIFYING THAT SOONER. ALTHOUGH HONESTLY EVEN COOL DAD'S BEEN KINDA WEIRD LATELY. THE LAST TIME I WAS ACTUALLY AT HIS HOUSE AND HUNG OUT WITH HIM HE WAS JUST DOING A LOT OF GUILT TRIPPING?? ABOUT HOW I DON'T CALL HIM ENOUGH AND HOW WE DIDN'T DO A LOT TOGETHER THIS YEAR AND ALL OF OUR PLANS GOT MESSED UP SOMEHOW WHEN WE COULD. BUT WHENEVER I CALLED HIM AFTER THAT HE DIDN'T WANT TO SEE ME?? HE DIDN'T EVEN WANNA SPEND CHRISTMAS OR NEW YEARS WITH ME?????? I DUNNO WHAT I'VE DONE WRONG TO EVEN MAKE HIM MADE AT ME BUT JFC. I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE. BUT ANYWAY YEAH I'M GLAD I'M STILL HERE TOO AND FIGHTING TO KEEP DOING WHAT I LOVE INSTEAD OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WANT. AND HAVING NO PRIVACY SUCKS SO MUCH. I HOPE IT GETS FIXED SOON TOO. I KEEP HEARING 'YEAH WE'LL WORK ON IT' 'WE'LL FIX IT HERE IN A DAY OR TWO' BUT EITHER NOTHING HAPPENS OR I DON'T GET A DEFINITIVE ANSWER ON WHAT 'A DAY OR TWO' MEANS. UUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH. THANK YOU BRO <3 I'M SORRY TO HAVE TO DUMP SO MUCH SHIT ON YOU LIKE THIS WHEN WE SHOULD BE FOCUSING ON YOUR GOOD NEWS ISNTEAD!
1-28-24 [3:00 AM] Ragtime Cat: HOWS BAUDLRS GATE BRO? YOU ENJOYING IT?
2-14-24 (7:30 am)
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY BRO
Monday, February 19, 2024
[Yesterday, 10:23 PM] Miranda(✿◠‿◠): OH SHIT BRO!! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!! OMG BELATED VALENTIONES DAY ANYWAY I HOPE THINGS ARE GOIN BETTER FOR YOU, AT LEAST A LITTOE BIT
Tuesday, February 20, 2024
[12:06 PM] Ragtime Cat: THANK YOU BRO I'M KINDA STUCK IN PURGATORY RIGHT NOW ACTUALLY. IT'S NOT GETTING ANY WORSE THANKFULLY BUT IT'S NOT IMPROVING ANY EITHER. I'M STILL STRESSING MYSELF INTO MAKING MYSELF SICK AND WORRIED AND A LITTLE SCARED.
Monday, February 26, 2024
[12:01 AM] Ragtime Cat: BRO!!!!!! BRO ARE YOU READY FOR AN UPDATE i HAVE A ROOM AND PRIVACY AND A BED AGAIN!!! SORT OF HALF OF A ROOM TECHNICALLY IT'S NOT MY ROOM BUT WE EMPTIED OUT ONE OF THE STORAGE ROOMS AND STUCK A MATTRESS IN HERE FOR ME AND MY PC SO THAT I CAN HAVE MY OWN SPACE AGAIN UNTIL I DO GET MY ROOM BACK.
Thursday, February 29, 2024
[10:22 AM] Miranda(✿◠‿◠): OH MY GOD BRO!! THAT IS A PRETTY DECENT UPDATE OMG!! IM SO GLAD YOU ARE ABLE TO KIND OF HAVE A ROOM AGAIN! HOPEFULLY THEN THAT MEANS THINGS ARE KIND OF ON THE UP AND UP, IT SURE AS HELL IS A START! OMFG IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU BRO
[10:31 AM] Ragtime Cat: THANK YOU BRO. EVEN IF IT ISN'T MY ROOM I STILL FEEL SO MUCH BETTER. THE SETUPS A LITTLE AWKWARD FOR MY PC WITH THE WAY THE OUTLETS ARE IN THIS ROOM, AND THE DOORS NOT ACTUALLY A DOOR ITS JUST ONE OF THOSE FOLDING SLIDING PANEL THINGS THAT DOESN'T LATCH WHEN YOU TO TRY TO CLOSE IT. BUT ITS STILL SOMETHING RIGHT?! I'M KEEPING ALL OF MY FINGERS AND TOES AND ANYTHING ELSE I CAN THINK OF CROSSED THAT THIS DOES MEAN THINGS ARE LOOKING UP.
Saturday, March 2, 2024
[11:02 AM] Ragtime Cat: BRO I HAVE ANOTHER BIG UPDATE!!!! ONE I COULD SUPER USE YOUR HELP WITH IF YOU WANT. I'VE BEEN ASKED TO BE A DND DM!!! FOR TINY LITTLE POKEMON CAMPGAIN. I'VE GOT A GOOD START TO IT THOUGHT UP ALREADY I THINK BUT I'D LOVE YOUR HELP WITH THE STORY OR JUST SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPORTANT NPCS AND RANDOM SHIT THAT CAN HAPPEN AND STUFF LIKE THAT.
Wednesday, March 6, 2024
[Yesterday, 11:08 PM] Miranda: IM GLAD IT FEELS SO MUCH BETTER!! IT IS STILL SOMETHING, AND WE WILL TAKE THAT! I WILL ALSO KEEP EVERYTHING CROSSED THAT I CAN POSSIBLY CROSS TO HELP!! OH BRO! I CAN TRY MAYBE!! IM GONNA BE BUSY FOR A MONTH, CAUSE I HAVE TRAINING FOR MY WORK OUT OF STATE WHERE ILL BE WORKING 6 DAYS A WEEK LMAO. BUT ILL HAVE A LAPTOP, I MAY BE ABLE TO HELP! LAY ON ME WHAT YOUVE GOT ! OMG ITS SO EXCITING THAT YOURE GOING TO DM A LIL POKEMON CAMPAIGN!!
Thursday, March 7, 2024
[10:04 PM] Ragtime Cat: THANKS BRO. FOR KEEPING EVERYTHING CROSSED AND TRYING TO HELP ME. THEY LAST MINUTE DECIDED TO DROP ON ME THAT THIS SATURDAY IS THE ONLY DAY THAT'S GOING TO WORK FOR EVERYONE GETTING TOGETHER. WHICH HAS BEEN FINE AS FAR AS THE SET UP IS CONCERNED. BUT I'M WORRIED THAT EVEN MY BASIC IDEAS FOR A STORY MIGHT NOT BE INTERESTING/FUN. CAUSE I MEAN ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SUPER DETAILED ANYWAY I RECKON SINCE IT'S JUST A TEENY TINY SHORT COUPLE HOUR CAMPAIGN RIGHT? BUT I DUNNO. MAYBE I'M JUST GETTING STAGE FRIGHT.
[10:16 PM] Ragtime Cat: MY IDEA IS THAT YOU'RE ON A VERY SMALL ISLAND REGION THAT IS MOSTLY UNINHABITED SAVE FOR ONE BIG CITY, A LITTLE FISHING VILLAGE, WHAT IS BASICALLY A THIEVES DEN, AND A SMALL TRIBAL VILLAGE WAAAAY OFF AWAY FROM EVERYONE ELSE AND CUT OFF FROM THE "CIVILIZED" WORLD PRETTY MUCH. THERE'S NO GYMS OR LEAGUES. AND THERE WASN'T EVEN A POKEMON PROFESSOR UNTIL RECENTLY. WHEN THIS NEW ONE RE-OPENED THE OLD LAB THAT HAD BEEN INACTIVE FOR YEARS. SHE PUT OUT A CALL FOR TRAINERS TO GO RECLAIM THE OLD RESEARCH STATIONS FROM NATURE AND SEE IF THAT'S WHY HER READINGS ARE COMING OUT SO INCONSISTANT AND WEIRD. SHE'LL PROVIDE EVERYTHING THEY NEED FOR THEM BEFORE THEY GO AND PAY THEM PRETTY WELL FOR THE WORK WHEN THEY RETURN. THEY'RE GOING TO MOSTLY DECIDE HOW THEY GO ABOUT IT AND WHAT ROUTES THEY TAKE SO THERE'S GONNA BE POKEMON BATTLES AND TRAINING AND SOME LITTLE EVENTS/BATTLES ALONG THE WAY. BUT AFTER MAYBE ONE STATION I WANT THEM TO SORT OF SNIFF OUT THAT ITS NOT JUST THE STATIONS THEMSELVES BUT THAT SOMETHING IS ALSO VERY WRONG WITH THE WILD POKEMON. THEY'LL MORE FREQUENTLY COME ACROSS SPOTS WHERE POKEMON ARE JUST REALLY SICK OR ACTING UNNATURALLY. AND THE SECOND BIG HOOK AND THE TWIST OF THE STORY IS THAT IT'S BECAUSE THERE'S A BIG BAD RICH GUY THAT SEES THE ENTIRE ISLAND AS AN INVESTMENT AND WANTS TO TURN EVERY OUNCE OF IT INTO A MONEY MAKING TOURIST ATTRACTION. ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. SO HE'S TRYING TO LIKE FORCE THE TRIBE TO LEAVE OR STRONG ARM NATIVES INTO SELLING THEIR LAND TO HIM. AND GETTING RID OF ANYTHING THAT'S "PROBLEMATIC" FOR DEVELOPMENT. LIKE SAY POKEMON THAT AREN'T GOING TO BE USEFUL TO HIM. MY FRIENDS' SORT OF RIVAL IS GONNA BE THE SON OF THIS BIG BAD GUY. WHO EVEN THOUGH HE /IS/ TREATING HIS STAY MORE LIKE A VACATION TO HIS DAD. STILL HAS THAT VERY RICH BOY AIR AND ATTITUDE ABOUT HIM AND THINKS HE CAN GET AWAY WITH DOING AND SAYING ANYTHING HE WANTS AND TREATING PEOPLE ANY WAY HE WANTS CAUSE HIS DAD IS GONNA "OWN THE ISLAND AND EVERYONE IN IT SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL GET USED TO IT. YOU LOSERS BASICALLY WORK FOR ME ALREADY."OH I ALSO FORGOT TO MENTION THAT
IF WE HAVE TIME FOR IT I EVEN HAS A LITTLE SIDE STORY ON STANDBY ABOUT A LEGEND OF THE TRIBE AND HOW THEY BASICALLY WORSHIP LYCANROCS.
0 notes
Text
31 Birthday Wishes
As I prepare to embark upon my 31st birthday I wanted to take the time to be especially intimate with myself. I am so proud of how far I am come and I look forward to all the places I still have yet to go. This is the last moments of my 30th years of life and I can say I truly spent my 30th year being selfish in the way that I have always deserved. I plan to keep this up. As I enter 31 I look forward to my future as a single woman. Alone if you will. There was a time when the word “alone” was hurtful to me because I once believed that my solitude was a direct reflection of myself. I could have never been more wrong. Solitude is a beauteous thing that is vital to a happy and successful life. I am alone but I am not lonely in the slightest. After everything that happened once I began to speak as an adult and put childish things away I was unsure how to navigate life as an adult. I didn’t know what life would or could look like for me specifically. And by the grace of God I have found My Way. I trust in my ability to be a lone individual who is capable of getting things done all by myself for myself. It’s a refreshingly intoxicating feeling to know that you hold the power to see your dreams come true in real time. God has wiled it so. My journey has taught me that I can and should rely on myself because with God I can do all things through the strength that he gives me. It is my testimony that I have made it out and I am at peace with everything. My heart and mind are clear and I hold no ill will towards anyone. I look forward to 31 with love, happiness, faith and joy for all to come. I Thank the Lord for allowing me to see another day where there is another opportunity for me to grow into the best version of myself. I aspire to continue on this journey of truly loving myself so that I may be a better lover to myself as well as others. I pray that the Lord allows me to continue to navigate my life with him at the head and peace in my heart. I look forward to all the new relationships and friendship that are to come. I pray for all I used to know and all I still do know and pray that you have mercy on our souls and keep us safe if your arms Lord God. Thank you for allowing me to experience this beautiful moment as I type these words to myself now. I remember there was a time when all I wanted was to change be different and feel different. I love myself just as I am, past and present. I release myself from people, places, spaces, mindset, behaviors etc. that no longer serve me and I welcome all the new and wonderful possibilities that are to come. This year is even more personal for me and I am so excited to be able to celebrate myself and relax. I will be spending my 31st birthday out of the country by myself and I look forward to this trip. It’s a small step into the direction of independent that I look forward to. I do still desire to experience healthy romantic love and make new friends and I trust that God will continue to supply all my needs, wants and every desire. “Maybe right now, your journey isn’t about love. Maybe right now, your journey is about being alone. Maybe this is the season you are being challenged- to learn how to wake up in the middle of the bed to finally find hope in the vacancy, to finally find hope in the quiet, hope in the way you stretch into your life and give yourself permission to take up space within it. Maybe right now, you are being shown- that you can take care of yourself, that you can depend on the person you have become, that you can be your own home no matter what comes your way. I write this letter to you merely days before your birthday to let you know that I am always with you Ebony. I am your home and you are mine. I stand with you and support you. I love you with all my heart and will do right by you at every step for as long as I shall live. Happy Birthday my dear sweet Ebony. It is with love, admiration and grace that I wish you all the best and more. I will love you until forever ends, until then, later baby.
0 notes
Text
Okay, listen to THIS and tell me I'm not crazy:
I got an email today from da boss telling me I've gotten a raise. Not only that, but I'm going to get retroactive pay from the last two months to reflect this. So by all accounts, even after taxes, my next paycheck is gonna be hefty.
"Congratulations!" you might be thinking. And yet... here I come to spoil it all.
I'm paranoid. That this is a conspiracy. I'm connecting dots across several years and I'm driving myself mad doing so. My brain tells me that "They" are orchestrating things behind the scenes.
Take for instance my ill-fated trip to Oregon all those years ago. I go there so I become a stoner legally, and just so happen to find a great roommate who is almost overly caring and kind and lenient with the fact that I was unemployed and playing video games all day and night. And when I finally broke and blamed him, he begged me to stay, saying he didn't care about me paying my share of the rent anyway. SUS! Who is this guy? What does he want? Did I imagine he drugged me, or did he really do that?
And when I do get back to my home state, oh wow! Wouldn't you know it, medical marijuana just so happens to be legal now and you easily qualify, isn't that a coincidence?
Then we find a pretty good gig working at a charter school we've never heard of before but THROUGH a contract with a company I HAVE worked with before. And during our tenure there we objectively have the best funded and well behaved school in the entire district. And just when things are starting to go so smoothly that I actually start making plans for the future - BOOM! Covid hits and we are all quarantined.
That's right, folks. Covid is MY fault. This is what my brain is telling me. Not to mention that Charter school had hot queer guys as substitutes ALL the time, like "They" were throwing them at me. "Here's one, you like this one? No? How about this one, he's short and has glasses? No? Fuck uuuuh I dunno, new strategy!"
When Covid is over, I get "fired" from my job and almost immediately pick up a new one working at the college I graduated from. And in this job I can do no wrong apparently! I slack off terribly and I even get reprimanded, but not even at my most suicidal was I ever in jeopardy of really losing my job...
This job pays more than my last one, I do so much LESS work than I did before, and now I'm told I'm getting a raise and congratulated for "being so amazing". What? ...What the fuck? Are YOU high right now, I'm doing diddly squat over here!
Not to mention as soon as I'm hired, a previous college roommate of mine suddenly wants to reconnect? Remember: he's gay too. And what's this? He ALSO works at the same college?? What. A. Coincidence. So of course I ghost him, he was a trap. "They" were trying to set me up.
That didn't work? Oh shit, okay, let's send in hot union person - we know he's into unions right now. And this person JUST so happens to meet me at the office on the ONE day I was going to be there that month. And they just so happen to keep coming back even after I put them off.
I must be crazy, yeah? There's no way there's a shadowy cabal of people going behind my back in an attempt to IMPROVE my life. That's like... the ANTITHESIS of a conspiracy, yeah?! Suddenly I'm gonna have an influx of money, at LEAST a couple hundred dollars in this next paycheck. AND from here on out I'm getting paid more anyway.
What the fuck? This isn't right. Good things don't happen to me. The other shoe is riiiiiight around the corner and it's gonna drop on me like a ton of bricks. What the fuck? What the fuck.
#personal#public private journal#the truman show#crazy#i'm crazy#nice things aren't for me I've learned that
1 note
·
View note