#new zealand was a shit show to begin with and i have no idea why i thought coming here was something i shoud do in my lifetime

[justmefeelingtherain]

I love how all of my determination is fuelled in when I have to book trips.

On most things I change my mind repeatedly, like its a really bad habit I developed especially for finding jobs or a partner.

But with travel... like there's no hesitation whatsoever. "I'm going to this country whether I like it or not there is no going back"

And it makes me so happy. There is a certain serenity in knowing you have a booked trip and you can daydream about it until it actually happens.

[quietwingsinthesky]

AND 🍀🧠💀 for even :>

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

So, beginning of s4, when I started going, fuck it, I'll make a DW companion of my own, I really wanted something different, which mostly meant not someone from the modern day, not someone who would really have a reference on what planets or life was supposed to be like outside a very narrow experience of the world. AND THEN. the temp companion during the titanic christmas special is a waitress, I think, who at one point in the episode, after telling the doctor that she's never even been on a planet before, and certainly not earth, goes down with him to explore, and. hold on let me get the quote, it's such good characterization and the impetus for even.

DOCTOR: It should be full. It should be busy. Something's wrong. ASTRID: But it's beautiful. DOCTOR: Really? Do you think so? It's just a street. The pyramids are beautiful, and New Zealand. ASTRID: But it's a different planet. I'm standing on a different planet. There's concrete and shops. Alien shops. Real alien shops! Look, no stars in the sky. And it smells. It stinks! Oh, this is amazing. Thank you!

i just fell in love with that, there. and i wanted to make a companion who got to see that and experience that, again and again. and then even just sort of grew naturally from there. (and still, after all the shit they've been through, i think that's still at the core of them. i think they still get a little thrill at tiny, inconsequential things because they're there and even can experience them. it's why i think, however mad they might ever get at the doctor, they'd never be able to tell them truthfully that it wasn't worth it. because it was. it was.)

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

I think I just like that I'm fully bullshitting through the show as I watch it, just taking stuff and adding on as I get more info. It's fun! My knowledge of the show grows, Even grows with it :3

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

There's two things, and the one they're aware of is that they desperately Do Not Want To Be Alone. and the thing is that for most of their life they just never have been, they literally don't know what it would be like to not have Someone Else around. they went from Spaceship to Doctor to the Noble-Tylers to Master to Doctor, but they've never been alone and they'll do just about anything to not be. And then the thing they don't want to look at: which is that they idea of having their memory messed with is fucking horrifying to them. they had to stand by while donna got wiped. had to take the physical aftermath when tentoo volunteered for it. had to live with that crashing around in their head for months unable to say anything. it messed them up.

so, you know, obviously, i had to do both of those things to them during the WEaT and TDF period ajsdklsjdlks.

(oc asks)

[yutahoes]

Otou-Chan

Yuta Nakamoto x Reader (Y/N) Smut

(Chapter Seventeen)

Summary: 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐰𝐚 𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐨��� 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭��𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐘𝐮𝐭𝐚’𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬.

Warning:  Fluff, Phone Sex, Mutual Masturbation

Word Count: 3k

Masterlist

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️

17. Growing

“Are you sure you can go to work now?” Yuta asked as he stopped in front of the publishing house. It’s been three days since he found (Y/N) in their home and although he didn’t tell her, he already bought their old house. That way, when her dad comes back, he can ask him to go to rehab. The girl nodded while checking her bag. “So this is how it feels like…” She gave him a curious look. Feels like what? “Bringing your daughter to her first day of school.”

(Y/N) had to giggle at that, Yuta is so cute. “Are you going to cry, otou-chan?” She teased but Yuta just chuckled, pinching her cheek. “I’ll call you later.” He raised an eyebrow at her. She would always say that but until now, he doesn’t know her number yet. “I promise, I’ll call.” She said before opening the door of the car. Yuta shook his head laughing to himself as he started the car. Let the waiting game begin.

The two were out for lunch, Jaehyun is abroad and Johnny is not around, leaving (Y/N) alone in the publishing house. She wanted to get lunch with her co-workers but she had to finish the illustration she’s tasked to do. And since she’s bored, she decided to get her phone and click speed dial 2. The phone was ringing as she bit her lip, deciding if this is a good idea or not. “Mosh mosh, Yuta Nakamoto desu.” And she automatically smiled at that. He sounded so hot talking in Japanese.

“Mosh mosh, (Y/N) desu.” She repeated while giggling that made the guy smile.

Yuta cleared his throat, seeing the investors look at him weirdly. He put down his phone for a second, making Doyoung shake his head at him. “Please give me a second. It’s an important call.” Then returned his phone to his ear, turning around from the group of guys. Doyoung just gave the men an apologetic smile then glared at Yuta. “Hey, (Y/N).”

“Are you busy?” she asked, obviously overhearing what he said. “I’ll just call you later.”

“It’s fine. Did you eat lunch?” She said no and he sighed. “I’ll order food for you, what do you want?”

She had to gasp at that. “Jungwoo is already buying me food. Go back to your meeting, Yuta. Call me when you're done.” He asked if he can do that and she just said yes.

“I’ll call you later.” She immediately ended the call that made him sigh then returned to the meeting as if nothing happened. Doyoung sighed at the smiling CEO. He’s really lovesick for his own good.

--

(Y/N) finished her lunch and is doing her work when her phone rang, grinning at the person who said hello on the other line. “Did you have lunch?” Yuta asked and she hummed a yes. “Busy?”

She shook her head although he clearly cannot see her. Jungwoo only smiled while watching her. “Just finalizing some illustrations.” She claimed then put down her drawing pen to focus on him. “Is the meeting done? What happened?”

There was an obvious shift in Yuta’s voice that made her bite her lip. Is that a wrong question? Did something bad happen during the meeting? Is she at fault? “The company has new investors from New Zealand.” He said then sighed. “More paper works, more production to look after.” She giggled at that. At least it’s good news. But this only means that Yuta will get stressed once again.

Three days of spending the night in his place made her aware of the demanding job of the CEO. Sometimes, she can hear him in the middle of the night still talking to some people. He would often stay up late just working on his laptop and even while eating, his eyes were glued on his phone. “I’m staying over at Jungwoo’s place tonight. We have to finish the manhwa for publication on Friday.” She claimed and Yuta hummed in response.

“I’ll be out of the country on Friday.” He shared that surprised her. Suddenly? “I’ll leave the apartment keys to you if you want to stay there on weekend. I’ll be back Monday night.”

She really needed a place to stay. She should stop going to someone’s house just to stay the night. She realized that when Yuta left the apartment keys to her that Friday morning, even asking her if she wanted souvenirs from New Zealand. Honestly, she wanted to come with him but she can’t leave especially now that she had to finish the first chapter of her manhwa set for publishing. 

She stayed at his place that Saturday morning since Lucas is back in Korea and she wanted Jungwoo to spend some quality time with him. The place seemed empty without him. How can he live here alone for years? Does he bring girls over? Or maybe he’s living with her girlfriend. Wait, does Yuta have a girlfriend? Is he married? She shook her head, why would he show interest in her if that’s the case?

She decided to do the laundry first, putting her clothes inside the washer. (Y/N) noticed one of her bra missing. Maybe she left it at Jungwoo’s place but that’s hardly the case. Lucas is sensitive about female’s clothes in their apartment. So where could it be? (Y/N) also put Yuta’s clothes in the washer since the ahjumma who was supposed to clean his house cannot go today. Maybe she can just clean up the house in exchange for staying here.

His clothes smelled like him and she suddenly missed him. Why does he have to be abroad now? And why is she so horny for him? Checking the calendar, it must be her ovulation period. Well, that explains her getting this horny. The vibrator, she thought, Yuta has it. Is it still here?

After cleaning the living room, she took a quick shower and wore his larger white shirt. (Y/N) had to borrow his computer so she went inside his study room and opened his desktop computer, surprised to see pictures of her as his screen wallpaper. Well, if this isn’t Yuta she would be terrified. How did he get these pictures? While she’s staying here? She opened the browser to send Johnny an email but it only restored some tabs. (Y/N) smiled, he was searching topics about flowers used for confession, how to tell a girl you love her, and even things like the traditional way of pursuing someone. Is he that serious?

And since she already has access to his computer, she decided to dig deeper and find out something about the guy. Maybe he can find his kinks by searching his browser history. But it’s clean, even a secret folder isn’t available on his computer. Doesn’t he watch porn? How is he so good in bed? Is he born with it? Or he had other girls to practice with? Well, the way they first met is rather smooth. Maybe he really is a fuckboy. So what’s with all this romance shit?

An engine search of nearby alcoholic rehab centers got her attention. He did say that before, he wanted to put her dad in rehab and have him sober. But how can Yuta, a total stranger, force her dad to do that? And where is he? He never picked up her calls and she didn’t know any friends that he has. He never returned to the house as well. A smile escaped her lips when she found out he searched about how to make bungeoppang. Why is Yuta confusing her?

Her phone rang that surprised her, an international number. Speaking of the devil. “Hi, have you eaten?” Yuta asked and she giggled. Did he call just to ask this? “Are you at work? Busy?”

“I’m at home.” The line got silent for a few seconds before she clarified, “I mean your home.” If possible, she can see how he smiled on the other line. “Sorry, I didn’t ask permission but I used your computer. And your clothes.”

The guy on the other line laughed. “It’s fine.” Then he stopped. “You saw the wallpaper?” She giggled at that, teasing that he’s too obsessed with her. “I had to keep myself sane when you’re not beside me.” (Y/N) wanted to swoon at that. How can he say those words so flawlessly? No doubt, he has some practice. “Wait, hold on…” he started. “You’re wearing my clothes?”

“Well yeah. I had to wash my clothes so I borrowed yours.” She bit her lip. Two can play a game. “Is that a bad thing, daddy?” she asked in a whisper and Yuta cursed. “Will I get punished, otou-chan?”

She could hear something closing on the other line then a click as if he’s locking something. “Fuck baby!” he cursed once again before sighing hard. “It’s still early here and the investors are here. Please don’t do this to me.” (Y/N) had to giggle at that. “Besides I’m not thrilled with the idea of punishing you. I just want to see you in my clothes.”

“Do you want a video?”

Yuta laughed. “Save it for later. I’ll call you when I’m alone in the hotel room.”

(Y/N) smiled. “I’ll be waiting.” He giggled. Yuta had to remind her to get something to eat before dropping the call since he has a meeting to attend to. Now, (Y/N) had to get herself busy while waiting for their sexy night time call.

--

She already sent her work to Johnny, finished cleaning the house, and even finished the work Ten had asked help with. Yet there’s still no phone call from Yuta. Did he forget? Is he too busy? But she can’t stop her horniness now. Why did Ten ask her to edit his illustration? A phone sex one shot where the couple had the best masturbation of their life. And now, it made her excited and wet. 

The vibrator, she thought. She’s sure Yuta hid it somewhere here in his house. Or in his office? How can she let off alone? Maybe she’ll look for amazing porn and just finger herself. Or she could call Yuta? No, he might be really busy. Glancing at his bed, there might be a way she can get off with his help.

She had never done it before. Totally, a first. But she had seen a lot of deal like this in porn and it’s pretty normal. She removed her sweatpants, leaving her in just her underwear and Yuta’s white shirt. She felt dirty just imagining what she would do to an inanimated object and it can’t help that she’s thinking about Yuta’s reaction when he sees his sheet wet. Will he let him see it?

She sat on his pillow, letting her wet core rub against the dark sheets and she moaned at the friction. It was good. Really good. But something is missing. Him.

She wished Yuta is here then maybe she’s not humping his pillow and he’s already giving her the best orgasm like what he always does. Maybe she can ride his cock or even better, he can eat her out. And the thought sent shivers down her spine as her wet core brushed against his pillow.

The imagery of Yuta under her, riding his face rather than his pillow sent (Y/N)’s mind into a frenzy. How would those red lips kiss her pussy lips? How can that warm tongue explore her cavern? She moaned at the thought, holding the headboard using her left hand or she might bump her head from the pleasure. Her right hand pinched her nipples, squeezing her breast imagining Yuta’s hands doing the deed. There’s no doubt, Yuta is the only one who can give her the orgasm she needs.

She was close, too close when her phone rang. Both her hands were occupied and she’s still reaching that much-needed orgasm so she didn’t bother about the call. It stopped for a second then it rang again that made her annoyed. Who would call her? Pissed off, she accepted the call without checking the caller ID. “What took you so long?” She bit her lip at that. Yuta. “Are you busy? Did you eat?”

And that’s the least of her concerns now. She humped the pillow faster, letting her moans escape her mouth to reach Yuta then maybe he could get the idea. “What the hell are you doing?” he asked, obviously pissed off and it just sounded so hot against her ear. The girl dropped her phone in front of her, moaning loudly that if he had neighbors they’ll obviously hear.

She whimpered at the pleasure of her orgasm, rubbing her wetness on his pillow and even leaving a stain. (Y/N) picked up the phone and Yuta was asking for a video call. Really? When she’s just done with her orgasm? She declined the request and put the phone against her ear. “Hello?” she said in a shaky breath.

Yuta clucks his tongue at her. “Good?” He sounded agitated that she didn’t answer back, scared. “Is it another vibrator?” Oh yeah, she thought, Jungwoo’s vibrator. “Are you having fun without me, baby girl?” She gulped at his words. It sounded so hot that she grew wet again. This is bad. “Did you lose your tongue, baby girl?”

He sounded so dominant on the phone that she wanted to see him, maybe he’s in bed stroking his cock with a serious face. Maybe he looks angry and she wanted to see that. She shouldn’t have canceled that video request. “No, otou-chan,” she said softly.

“You were moaning loudly earlier. Why are you so quiet now?” he asked and she bit her lip. Totally hot. Her fingers trailed on her clit and she gave a breathy whimper. “What are you doing now?” But she didn’t answer, biting her lip to prevent moaning. He cursed in Japanese that made her arch her back at how erotic that sounded. “Were you touching yourself, princess?” She answered a muffled yes, turning around that she’s lying stomach flat on his bed as she inserted a finger inside her. “Is it satisfying? Your fingers?”

“No, Yuta,” she answered just as a moan escaped her mouth. Yuta laughed on the other line. “I want you.”

He chuckled once again. “Doesn’t sound like it, princess.” he teased. “Open your video, I want to see you.” A video request can be seen again and she only saw him in a suit, lying in what looks like a bed before looking the other way in embarrassment.

The guy can see her in his shirt, her nipples perked up. He can’t really see what she’s doing but the shaking of her body made him aware that she really is fingering herself. How wild, he thought. Why is she so horny like this? He opened his dress shirt then his pants, touching his cock which started to get hard at the image presented in front of him. “Princess, let me see you. I’ll make you feel good.”

(Y/N) had to fix her phone so that he could see her fully and she moaned when she realized that he was also touching himself. "Yuta…" she said breathlessly. "I want you."

"Oh sweetheart, I wish I'm there right now." He groaned against his phone. "I wanted to do a lot of things to you," Yuta said sensually while touching his body. "I want your pretty lips wrapped around my cock." And he changed the angle of the video to where he was jerking his hard rock arousal. "I want you squirming in orgasm under me. To dick you down real hard that you can only remember my name." She kept on calling for his name as her fingers sent her to the edge of her orgasm. "(Y/N)." He called sensually. "Baby!"

And that does it. She orgasmed on his bed for the second time but this time, she spoiled his sheets. Yuta was chuckling as she was riding out her orgasm, his hand still lazily jerking his cock. "Naughty girl." He teased. "Do you like soiling the sheets?"

"I'm sorry." She said biting her lip. "And it's not only the sheet that I stained." She said guiltily then showed him the pillow with a wet mark. "I'll just wash these tomorrow..."

"Don't." Yuta reacted instantly. "Leave it. I want it on my bed when I return on Monday."

"Pervert."

"Says the girl who was humping my pillow." She rolled her eyes. "You like unanimated objects, is that your kink?" He asked and she gave him a curious expression. "My pillow. That stupid vibrator…"

"Speaking of the vibrator, where is that?"

Yuta chuckled. "First drawer to the left side table." She dropped her phone for a while before checking the place Yuta mentioned, surprised to see the object shattered inside. A gasp escaped her mouth and he laughed once again. "I already told Jungwoo that I will pay for it." He reasoned out and she shook her head, still assessing the object. How did he break this? Is he that mad? "So say goodbye to my pillow for making you cum." Does he have anger issues?

But that is hot, she had to admit. She feels loved; like someone is being really possessive of her. "Can you calm down Yuta?" She sighed. "You should break yourself for always putting me on edge." He giggled at that. "Are you going back on Monday?" He nodded and she pursed her lips. "Can I stay the night on Monday? Lucas is still here in Korea."

Again, a chuckle. "Sure but I won't let you go to work on Tuesday." She raised an eyebrow at him and he just smirked. "Do you think you can walk properly after I'm done with you? I don't think so, princess." She smiled at that. Well, she wanted that.

Yuta promised to message her in the morning and asked her to get some rest already. He smiled when the video call dropped. This girl, really. Why is she shaking him like this? And why isn't it Monday yet?

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️

Chapter 16 / Chapter 18

Happy New Year Everyone! 🎉🎆🎇

[anarchy-in-the-vent-blog]

creating this at the behest of a friend who may or may not just want to stop listening to me. cannot entirely blame them as i wouldnt want to listen to me either always complaining but it really piles onto my feeling that im not that close to anybody. today, and i dont know if this is what im really upset about or just a broken shoelace, i lost a writing contest over a script that i've been working on and off on for about a year. i did not expect to win necessarily, but the year before this i was a finalist in the same contest with a script i had spent only a few days on. im pretty devastated rn. i thought this would be a chance to get a foot in the door of professional comics, or at least a big ego boost, and i got fucking nothing after months and months and months of work and honing this story. i cant even think of anything i should have done differently, my story was good my presentation was incredible there were fewer contestants this year than last year i went the extra mile and threw in an entire edited polished script along with my pitch document and pitch video, i did a fucking somersault at the beginning just to get these anglo fucks' attention and i got nothing. this creative shit isnt working out at all. ever since i was a kid i just wanted to be some kind of artist, the particulars changed every couple of years. i wanted to be a novelist for a while, a filmmaker, a musician, blah blah fucking blah. ive been working the last two years writing short stories and comics, over and over, i spend countless nights just writing and editing and reading more so i can get better ideas and for fucking what. the short story market out there is abysmal. i cant even submit to most anthologies bc theyre so idpol focused that only 1/3 of them accept manuscripts from straight white guys, and the ones that do accept have only 1/2 a chance of responding to you at all when they reject you, and maybe 1/20 of the ones that send a rejection email actually give a reason why, even if a brief one. i've sent out about 100 submissions for a dozen or so stories in the last few years and i've only sold two to two of the smallest magazines that nobody's ever heard of. one of them went bankrupt immediately after the issue in which they horribly misprinted my story (1/3 of it got cut somehow "accidentally"), and the other one is a small run new zealand gimmick theme publisher that i actually lost money on just ordering myself a copy of. maybe it was a fucking scam, idk. but they only made $5. I've made less than $30 selling fiction unless that haunted doll counts and i'm fucking miserable. I'm keeping up other creative hobbies that are going nowhere too. I just finished and released an hour long album a few weeks ago that i put two fucking years of my life into planning, writing, recording, editing, re-recording, mastering, promoting. I've worked harder on this album than anything else i've ever actually released and i think maybe only 4 people in total have listened to it. My closest friends have given it a cursory glance. i dont make art entirely for attention but how the fuck am i supposed to keep going if im getting kicked in the ribs any time i put anything out. nobody ever reads my stories, when i get rejected i never find out why, nobody ever listens to my music. the joy of creating in itself is really slipping from me. nobody really cares about me. my friends keep insisting that they do but i dont know if they do much to show it. im an obvious third wheel half the time. my dad broke a 3 year sobriety. i swipe on bumble every day and havent gotten a like in weeks even though friends have told me that i look good. my grades are slipping. i'm out of work. i have no job prospects or any sort of prospects in general for the future. i haven't been in a relationship of any kind in almost two years. i havent been in a happy relationship since fucking high school. i have neither the time nor money for therapy. therapy has never worked for me in the past anyway. i am really considering suicide for the first time in a long while. i dont really

take any joy in anything anymore. even momentary physical pleasure like masturbating and eating unhealthy food feels like absolutely nothing. i feel scared all the time. i feel like im gonna get screamed at or beat up at any second, mostly from my dad but also from strangers. i feel like im always about to be verbally chastised by my friends. it kills me that i cant see things objectively, only from this shakey nervous point of view that i know is most of the problem. i cant help it. i dont know if ive forgotten how to socialize with people or if i never knew to begin with and im only losing my illusions now. i really dont feel like living. i havent felt good in years. not truly good, maybe not since i was 12. the last time i felt generally vaguely happy like everything was mostly okay was when i think i was 16. im never going to be a great artist. ill probably never have a girlfriend i actually care about. i find most people incredibly boring or cruel. ill never really know if my friends like me, or why they even tolerate me. im writing this while putting off an important essay i've barely started. my friends seem to get so much love and notoriety for the smallest artistic efforts. i feel too stupid to read whatever theory and manifestos it is i have to read in order to make things like they do for the people they do, but i dont even want that for myself. i just want to write comic books and short sci-fi stories and im too fucking retarded or hopeless to even do that for an audience larger than myself. im really really fucking hopeless, i really dont want to keep living if this is all life is. i have no reason to believe that there is anything else. most people cant stand to be around me and i dont like myself either, i cant stand being in the same body with me, i hate having to think my thoughts. i hate being stuck inside myself. i think im going to cry again. i guess ill put off the rest of this important essay for tomorrow and collect my B- with all the other fucking midwit nobodies.

[fortysevenswrites]

Kathryn’s Trash TV

All right @myletternevercame. Let's Below Deck Med Season 5 this shit. 

I figured it would be easier to just tag you in a post instead of sending you all of this in a message, because like...this is a lot.

The people:

Sandy Yawn—the captain, female, lesbian, sometimes is kinda a micromanager. I want to like her, but sometimes she can be annoying.

Hannah Ferrier—longtime chief stew on the Med show(aka the head of the interior, usually a staff of 3). Relationship with Sandy has always been kind of iffy. Was actually surprised to see her come back after season 4 because Hannah was SO over Sandy and Sandy didn’t like the fact that Hannah isn’t good at making pretty table-scapes. I love her, but she really never should have come back after last season and should have ended on a high note.

Malia White—the bosun. Came back after being a deckhand on season 2. A bosun is like…the person in charge of the exterior. I want to like her because she’s the most competent bosun BDM has ever had, but she’s a shitty human being.

The show made a big deal about marketing the fact that the 3 most senior people on the show (Sandy, Hannah, Malia) are all women for the first time ever. Technically there is also a first officer and a couple other crew members but they’re not part of the primary cast.

Hinrigo “Kiko” Lorran—the chef. Adorable, from Brazil, and not a great yacht chef. Gets fired mid-charter, the world was very sad about it.

Tom Checketts—the chef who replaced Kiko. Also Malia’s boyfriend. Is AN ASSHOLE. Like seriously, fuck this guy. I don’t care how good a chef he is, he’s trash.

Christine “Bugsy” Drake—second stew who is promoted to chief stew after Hannah leaves the boat (more on that in a bit). I actually do love her. Hannah does not like her because they didn’t get along well back during season 2. Bugsy’s sister is one of Malia’s best friends, so they’re close. Bugsy actually didn’t come back until episode 4, because the original second stew, a crazy Italian lady named Lara, up and quit because she didn’t follow any of Hannah’s directions and when Hannah confronted her about it, she flipped out. Bugsy is great at tables capes and that is basically the number 1 reason why Sandy loves her so much.

Aesha Scott—actually one of Hannah’s BFFs from season 4. Ridiculous New Zealander. Has no filter. Replaces Bugsy as second stew when Bugsy gets promoted after Hannah leaves. Shows up for 7 episodes but it feels like…less than that. She has less of a fun time this season because she gets homesick.

Jessica More—third stew. Annoying. Not good at her job (which is literally primarily to do laundry and clean the bedrooms). Was surprised that she didn’t get promoted to second stew after Hannah left. Starts hooking up with Robert, one of the deckhands, early on in the season. Their relationship goes from hookup to I love you lets travel the world together WAY TOO FAST. Is annoying. I don’t like her.

Robert Westergaard—Deckhand, is bad at his job because he spends so much time thinking about the drama going on between him and Jessica. Has an opportunity to get another certification for sailing after the season but instead decides to follow Jessica to Bali where their relationship implodes.

Alex Radcliffe—one of the other deckhands. Is basically madly in love with Bugsy. Not bad at his job, and also not annoying. Really, really, really, really in love with Bugsy, but they only made out a couple times when she was drunk.

Peter Hunziker—total tool. Got fired by the production company behind BDM after he shared some really inappropriate and super duper racist content about black women on social media during the BLM protests last June, so the show was recut to minimize his appearances and disappeared his storyline.

You could potentially make a drinking game out of trying to find Peter in the background of the show after Episode 3.

Okay, now time for THE SHIT(TM) 

(which, by the way, happens in the 36-or-so hours between two charters, and over the span of like…the second half of one episode and the first half of the next)

So. After Bugsy comes on as second stew, Hannah and Bugsy agree to remain professional even though they don’t like each other and will never be friends, and IT’S ACTUALLY FINE. Except for the one time that Hannah didn’t provision enough lemons for drinks and Bugsy had to borrow them from Kiko. Apparently it was a thing…

Hannah and Malia are rooming together, and it’s all fine.

Then, Kiko starts to struggle because he’s not a yacht chef and there’s ALWAYS drama in the kitchen (same with this season of Sailing, the chef, Natasha, is a BITCH—and not in the good way like how I am a bitch. The annoying, shitty kind), and during this, the show has been putting together this storyline of how Malia’s boyfriend Tom, who is coming to visit—JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE A YACHT CHEF.

Foreshadowing much???

So Kiko leaves, Hannah is sad because he’s her only friend there, and Sandy asks Tom to come on the ship to replace Kiko as chef.

Then, we get the roommate drama. While it is common for couples to room together (like Paget and Cierra on Sailing Yacht), nothing is guaranteed on a yacht.

But Malia wants to be able to bone her boyfriend on the regular for the last two weeks of charter season, and she asks that Bugsy and Hannah share a room so she can fuck Tom on the reg. But Hannah doesn’t want to because she and Bugsy aren’t friends, and the two actually talk about it and Hannah AND Bugsy agree that it’s not a good idea for them to room together. It’s a very mature decision and was for the good of the ship and like…suck it Malia, and let work come first for five goddamn minutes (or two fucking weeks).

But Malia whines about how she should be able to fuck her boyfriend, and instead of being mature about it and fucking her boyfriend between charters in one of the guests bedrooms like normal couples do, she runs to her BFF Captain Sandy (who is tired of Hannah anyway, and it TOTALLY informs her decision making) and while Hannah is off the boat, she decides that what Malia wants, Malia gets, and that Hannah and Bugsy are going to have to room together. Malia justifies this by saying that couples ALWAYS room together (except that only really applies when they join together at the beginning of a season), and also…Sandy decides that the chef is actually above the chief stew in the hierarchy, which…isn’t actually a thing (because it hasn’t been in ANY OTHER SEASON. The chef is department of one that reports directly to the Captain and works WITH the chief stew, isn’t actually in charge of them or below them.

BUT, that night Malia finds Hannah’s prescribed valium and her weed pen, which may or may not have been prescribed valium and may or may not have been an illegal weed pen (I was never quite sure and didn’t really care to find out more), and takes it to Sandy, who uses it as an excuse to fire Hannah, and Hannah’s just like, first of all, I was having a panic attack because I have bad anxiety and it wasn’t actually valium that I took the episode before when she had a panic attack and took a tylonel PM or something, and also like, okay bitch bye, I’m over this and am out and I’m also getting out of yachting because real-life Hannah actually announced her pregnancy when the show started airing.

So, that was like, the good drama of season 5, because the rest of the season we have to suffer through Jessica and Rob going back and forth on whether or not they actually love each other (spoiler alert, they’ve known each other for a MONTH AND SO OF COURSE THEY DON’T) and Rob is kind of an awful person and Jessica is super needy and gets super jealous if any woman sneezes in Rob’s direction and it’s super duper annoying, but also like, the only storyline the show had toward the end of the season, other than Tom flipping a shit in the galley any time anyone asked him to, you know, do his fucking job.

Tom got into fights with literally everyone, from Sandy to Malia to yelling at Aesha when the primary guests asked for some fucking avocados.

So, yeah, that’s season 5 of BDM in a very, very, very long nutshell.

[watchtheworldargue]

egg magazine, april 1990. interview with Michael Hutchence

transcription below :)

Michael Hutchence on Lower Broadway

By Hal Rubenstein \ Photography by Steven Meisel

Globe-hopping is hell on a wardrobe and hard on the feet. Sometimes you have to get out of the limo to spend your money.

Michael Hutchence rarely comes to New York without luggage monogrammed INXS or Max Q, so one would think that on a visit without portfolio, the last thing he'd want to do is add on more baggage. But given a free day, a book of tickets, and our offer to go anywhere to do anything, Hutchence got into the limo with an agenda we could hardly call a new sensation. What kept us from sulking was that he hadn't left the devil outside.

Michael: You think we can load this car up with Yamamoto, Comme des Garcons, and Armani by 6?

Hal: Driver, step on it. Down to Grand and make a left.

[The car turns onto Union Square West.]

Isn't there a club on the corner here?

The Underground.

That's the one that keeps surviving regardless of how many people get shot there. How many are they up to?

No one's quite sure.

Where are we now? I don't recognise this.

This strip of lower Broadway didn't exist last time you were here. Now it's like a mall-less town's Main Street.

And Tower Records is City Hall. Not bad. It's wild to see this much activity because people around the world now talk about New York in terms of decay, how New York is such a rude place, and we keep telling them, No, New Yorkers are quite friendly, we like it there. New Yorkers are just very honest. They don't have time to bullshit. I like New York because people are linked to each other. L.A. Is fun, but segregated. Here there is a metro, and a different philosophy of getting around so there's rich upon poor upon rich. The only thing I don't remember is how many homeless are asleep on Park Avenue and everywhere else. Or is it my imagination?

No, it's real. How come you choose to live in Hong Kong instead of Australia?

For about three years, I thought it didn't matter where I lived. But I kept passing through it again. I grew up there, from when I was four until twelve. My dad still lives there. It has great energy, like New York. And it's ten hours closer to the world than Australia is. If you travel a lot, it adds up.

[We enter the Yohji Yamamoto store.]

So austere. Do they go wild if you hand back anything wrinkled? Those clothes over there are good acid-house colors. Has acid house caught on here?

Not like in England.

That's 'cause New York has bad radio. Are these dogs always here? They must sleep in the shoes. Ooh, look at these here. Not very me, but very Star Trek. $500 for a T-shirt. I see. I'll buy six. No, twelve. Now, here is something very stagy. Ultraflouncy. I like that, but the general consensus might kill my career.

Is what you wear onstage the same as you wear off?

I sort of smush them all together. My favorite piece of clothing is a leather jacket I had made for me that says “Hutch” in chain mail on the back.

Did Michael Schmidt make it for you?

Yeah – how'd you know? He's great. He sort of looks like a beautiful snake. He loves all the Hollywood stuff, but he's so sincere when he talks about it. Almost makes me like it. Is there somewhere funkier we can go, like Yankel's House of Pile? I saw that on the way down.

If you want old clothes, we should go to Cheap Jack's.

[We head back up to Broadway and 13th Street. Several young ladies on the corner stare at Hutchence as he enters Cheap Jack's.]

Do you enjoy recognition?

Depends on where I am.

Like when you're out on your own. Shopping, for instance.

Shopping, yeah, 'cause I get discounts. And there is a definite bonus to recognition when I'm onstage.

It makes the night go faster. But I'm not an institution yet. Sometimes I think about how hard it must be for someone like Bob Hope to go for a stroll. I don't really get hassled. I can stand in the middle of a street in London, or even New York, and usually nothing happens. I don't think I have that distinctive of a face. I got recognized in Tangier once, going by in a taxi, very fast … from a distance … in a fog … during monsoon season. Just kidding. It's odd how once you are conscious of being watched, you stop being so self-conscious because you realize there's nothing you can do about it. Of course, nobody in Hong Kong gives a shit who I am.

Aren't people there freaking about the city's eventual realignment with China?

Thousands are leaving a year, but they're the ones who can afford to leave, to give Australia half a million to let them in, though a lot more are going to Vancouver or New Zealand instead because they've heard, and it's fairly true, about Australia's racism.

It's actually more like unconscious racism. There's a naivete to it that you might call charming if it wasn't so sick. See, most foreigners don't realize – because we refuse to believe it ourselves – that Australia is southern Asia. Australia is linked to England in everyone's minds.

Yet most Australians don't have the faintest idea why the Japanese tried to invade us during the Second World War, and can't understand why they might not have wanted any foreigners on the biggest island in the Asian paradise. If we had lost, my home would be covered in rice paddies by now. Australia would have been Japan's Great Plains, their grain barrel.

I've never met one Australian who knows that. We have it so easy in Australia. It's very easy to live there. Tougher than it was before, but that's because five years ago it was ridiculous. I used to live in a three-story, five-bedroom house. It cost me $20 a week.

Did you make that much playing music?

Nah, but so what, we were all on the dole. Everyone went on it. That's one of the reasons you have so many bands in Australia. It's cheap to live and collect, so all the bands go on it. You wouldn't even have to go pick up your employment check; they'd mail it to you or transfer it to your account. Ready cash. I guess because there is such an anti-authoritarian vibe in Australia that people are quite happy to accept government checks. “Aw, screw 'em” - that's the attitude. Lots of people accept four and five checks or even have jobs. It's very lax. That's why we're stuck with the tall-poppy syndrome.

Translation?

Don't be successful, don't rise above your mates, or you'll get chopped. It's weird. It's the don't-leave-the-pub way of life. I think people in America are generally happy for someone's good fortune; they know how to let themselves go. In Australia, they go, “Good, mate,” and don't ask a single question. There are no celebrations for a job well done. I'm still shocked at how Americans cheer you on when they like you. I know you don't fancy it anymore, but I like phrases like “dress for success.”

And that's why you're shopping here?

I love hideous ties. Girls love 'em. Dunno why. Its like red socks. Are the playing Richard Hell? I haven't heard this song in 20 years. God, you must hear better music in clothing stores than you do anywhere else in New York. All these baseball jackets are so cheap. You know what they pay for these in Australia? I should buy the whole lot, take them back. I'd never have to tour again. I could get 150 to 200 bucks just for the ratty ones. I think this is the first clothing store I've been in that wasn't playing videos.

Are videos big in Australia?

We've actually been involved in music video a whole lot longer than in America. Because we are so far away, the only way we've had to understand all this music flying around the world is through video. Since the '50s, even when it was only 10 minutes a week, Aussie tv has been showing music videos.

And we don't censor the way you guys do. The “Way of the World” single is a very serious song, but MTV is quite shy of the video, you should note – I say this diplomatically. They censor here for all the wrong reasons. Like it's okay to stare at Cher's crotch for four minutes, but it's hard to say something truthful about the state of the world.

Could it be because with a group that's become as wildly successful as INXS has, it's inevitable that favorable reaction always turns?

I don't think INXS has reached that point yet. Give us four more years. We've only recently become hip in England. At the beginning, they hated our guts.

Why?

'Cause we are Australians writing pop music, why else? They don't make much in England, apart from nice jumpers and Jaguars, and one of the few things they can claim some turf on is pop music. So, they're not happy when someone else does it. It's a standard trait of island people; they're very territorial.

But you guys are island people too.

Yeah, but we got a bigger island. Now, if we can just get rid of some competition from the expatriate colonies.

Isn't it enough already with this rivalry between Australia and England? L.A. And New York have settled their feud.

England still treats Australia like we're descendants of convicts. Well, I guess we are, aren't we? We're trying to get rid of them, but unfortunately, they're coming back with money and buying up half the country. Don't you resent the Japanese buying Rockefeller Center?

I resent the Rockefellers more.

[Having tried on everything and bought nothing, Hutchence decides against old clothes. We head down to If boutique.]

Armand Basi. Nice stuff. That Claude Montana is fabulous, but God, this stuff is expensive. We don't know anyone here for a discount, do we? My father used to design clothes for a shop in Hong Kong called Dynasty. Glitzy evening wear for too much money. One year, when we did our first tour, we bough ta lot of Sprouse, real colorful stuff, and we spent a fortune, especially when you consider it's disposable fashion. All it had to do was last a month. All the buttons fell off, it shrunk, seams opened up. We would have been more upset, but it made us homesick for the mother country. Disposable fashion is very English. The nice thing about it when it comes from there, however, is that even though the stuff falls apart, it's cheap.

Ah, I like this. Very sexy, very smart. Basi, right? I found the best underwear. I think it's called Nikos. Someone gave it to me last night. Well, that's a plug. No names, please. These pants might go with the Basi shirt. [Like Navy pants, they have over a dozen buttons instead of a fly.] Not good clubwear. Certainly not quick enough to please me.

Your choice of underwear would have to be very discreet.

And always clean. Maybe these pants come with a catheter. Should I ask the shopgirl? [He raises his arm to call her and, wincing, puts it down.]

Just realized a colostomy bag wouldn't hurt?

No. I think I have a cracked rib, from too much fun the other night at Inflation, this super club in Melbourne. Melbourne has some of the best clubs in the world. Great people. Amazing clubs. Sydney has nothing. Boring as hell. Nice place if you're a surfer. Really pretty, like L.A. But very corrupt, Sydney. Everyone is always paying everyone off. That's why you can't afford to do a club there. It's like, in order to get a club license, all the other nightclub owners have to agree to your having a license. And four people control the voting on that. Melbourne now has a club called Razor that is so exciting. It used to an automobile club, especially popular during the '50s, where people used to talk about their cars, you know, with photos of Mini-Minors making hairpin turns around corners. Like a racing club, I guess, except for slower cars. Razor gets the best people.

[He picks up a pair of huge, get-lost-in-the-rain-forest-and-survive black shoes and delights.]

Many people have shoe fetishes. I guess it's around the world actually, not just with Imelda. I think people are probably just jealous of her because they secretly wanted so many pair. But these are big, like size big. Are Americans getting larger feet, or do they just want more room? I always notice shoes when I'm here.

There's almost like a $100 tax on shoes in Australia. Like a pair that will cost you $50 here will cost you almost $200 in Australia. A pair of Levi's cost $100. I never buy furniture in Australia, either, and I have an obsession with furniture the way Americans love shoes. It's a shame I don't have an obsession with homes, too, since I have no place to put all the furniture. I have it stored all over the world.

Let me get the Basi shirt, and then I want to buy records. I would get them later, but I just remembered I have a friend coming in tonight for only one night. He and his father are trying to get down to Nicaragua. They're helping Ortega keep the Contras back. Good luck. What's so weird about their going is that these guys are publishing magnates in England. Entrepreneurs. They should be serious Thatcherites, but they just hate Thatcher. Real lefties.

If everyone is so vocal of their dislike of her, how come she's so strong?

The British love her because they love to be miserable; they love to complain. Thatcher's become irrepressible. She's finally showing signs of faltering, except she's winning by default, because no one wants to put Kinnock in, either. It's like your Dan Quayle. What an alternative.

Are Australians political?

It's compulsory to vote, if you want to call that political. Frankly, nobody particularly gives a fuck. That doesn't mean Australians are not aware people. I think they know more about what's going on in the rest of the world than the average American, but that's because they have to compensate for being in the middle of nowhere. They're more concerned about international politics, about the environment. Every time the Americans come into Sydney harbor with their nuclear ships and submarines, there's always 5,000 people telling them to fuck off.

But the hell with domestic politics?

Do you know anything about our system? It's built on a bickering sort of war. The front page is always about politicos throwing shit at each other, spending more time insulting each other than governing.

Mind you, they are really very good at it. It's a fine Australian tradition of political insult. Listening to parliament is hilarious - “Shut up, you bastard!” - and that's our prime minister, Bob Hawke. He's in the Guinness Book of World Records for having drunk a yard of beer in record time. He is actually a brilliant leader, a Rhodes scholar at Oxford, and he has done a bloody good job, considering the apathy he's up against. What he should be real pleased about its restoring pride in being Australian, particularly after all that nonsense when the governor general dismissed Prime Minister Whitlam in 1975.

How was that possible without the consent of the Australian parliament?

We're still a colony. I think a lot of us were cynical after that. They felt like puppets. Probably had something to do with the CIA. The good old CIA. I'm in their files, I found out. That they should waste their time on me. I'm listed as subversive, for my lyrics to “Guns in the Sky” and because I once threw condoms out to the audience in Northern Australia.

How is that subversive?

The more north you get in Australia, the more it is like the South in America. The man who ran Queensland, one of the biggest states in Australia, was this guy, Joh Peterson, who was in power for over 20 years. Peterson was this sort of South African leftover who arrived in Australia, and he made things illegal, like sex education, abortion, condoms to minors – you couldn't have the vending machines in clubs. [You can now.] Well, I slandered him, and so I got taken to court, where he was thrown out of office from the corruption uncovered during the proceedings.

Did that make you a hero down there?

Say what, mate? This is Australia, remember. Our heroes are bushrangers, outlaws, and sporting stars. If you're an athlete, you can get away with anything.

[Hutchence purchases the Basi shirts, and then we head to Tower Records at the corner. A street person approaches us.]

is this the official mugging committee?

Street person: “Ooh, ooh, here they come in their limo, straight from Saks Fifth Avenue. Board of directors, how you doing, moneys, you big-time decision makers. Uh-oh, who's you? You must be a rock man. Stand aside for the rock man.”

They always pick on me.

“I want to give you something, man. Some humility. But there's only enough for one.”

I don't care for some, but humility is something we can spread around.

“Hey man, this is for seriously. You will love this humility. No side effects, no speed. Say yes, and I can be back in an hour.”

[We go through the revolving door and right to the rock section; within three minutes, Max Q is playing on the system.]

That's good, somebody knows it's out.

[Hutchence buys albums by Ciccone Youth, Camper Van Beethoven, Soul II Soul, Grace Jones, Shakespear's Sister, Jesus and Mary Chain, and Suicidal Tendencies. As he is paying for them, he spots a postcard stand that features a picture of him.]

Holy shit. When did they take this thing? What a bizarre likeness. I hardly know this guy. This is not an approved photo. [He gets the attention of a young lady behind the counter.] Excuse me, please, this is not an approved photo. It's a pirate. Do you know where you get these from?

Salesgirl: “No idea.”

Can you find out?

“Why, do you want to buy a lot of them?”

See, I told you no one recognizes me.

[We walk outside and the street person comes up to him again.]

Street person: “I know who you are.”

Who am I?

“You are someone who's gonna give me a lot of money.”

How much you want?

“Just give me one of those bills, thank you. Now I'm officially your biggest fan. Just tell me what you want to buy.”

I must be dressed for success.

[jj-ktae]

Game Ten - Enjoying -

Title : Survival Games Genre : AU, Angst, Fluff, Romance Pairing : Taeyong x You (reader) Summary : A deserted island and no hope left. There is only despair and this boy, Lee Taeyong, who seems to be the only survivor. You both were on the flight KAL134, from Auckland to Seoul. Words : 4454

Teaser - Discovering -  Sharing - Thinking - Accepting - Hoping - Breathing - Missing - Treasuring - Longing - 

Game Ten - Enjoying

It’s a different type of survival.

It’s wrapped into cotton, soft and sweet and cuddly. You go to sleep feeling complete and wake up mesmerised.

And it’s all thanks to Taeyong. He doesn’t change much but gets more obvious. There’s no hiding when he wraps his arms around your neck in the middle of the beach, no blushing when he pecks your lips, no embarrassment when he takes care of yet another bruise on your body.

It’s surprising.

Taeyong feels at ease with this situation, like he expected it to happen and was preparing himself to become a perfect boyfriend. Come to think of it, he has been doing the same thing when you were on your own in that jungle, minus the kisses.

It feels like he unleashed a love beast, smiling and unable to take his hands off you. You find yourself scolding him gently when he cuddles in the morning, blocking your body until you’re a suffocating mess.

His cheeky giggles are priceless, every single time.

His friends look appeased, their smiles making them look more relieved than anything. It’s like Taeyong is out of a hell he had been pushed into all his life.

One night you decide to try to know more. Taeyong has been asking questions about your life in New Zealand but never did he talk about his own past. You want to know why he acted the way he did, what he meant when he told you he would have loved to feel important back then. You drag Taeyong into the jungle one evening, looking for a place where it’s peaceful yet pretty enough to have that type of conversation.

You offer him the fruits you picked earlier that day, trying to make him comfortable enough but he seems to be cautious.

“Why are we eating this here?” He peels the tropical fruit – you’ll never remember its name but it’s juicy - and offers a piece, his free hand swatting yours as he feeds you.

You watch in awe, as he licks his fingers off the sweet juice and goes back to his task. Now isn’t the moment to focus on his actions. Taeyong is horribly attractive and hot without even trying but this isn’t the problem. You can do it.

“I thought we could stay…just the two of us…?” You find it hard to be convincing. Most of the time you prefer staying at the camp, the idea of walking down the jungle inducing a bit too much anxiety for your own good.

Taeyong knows it, he probably knows everything about you and his ability to observe things makes him snort sweetly, a smile appearing on his face as he leans against the rock next to you. “What do you want to know?”

“W-What?” he takes you off-guard as always with his no-bullshit policy. That’s something you have yet to get accustomed to. Taeyong doesn’t bullshit and hates beating around the bush. He might have taken forever to tell you his feelings but now that this is done, you discover how much of a franc person he can be. Especially when he not-so-subtly told Solene to stop following him because he had no interest in her and would rather spend time with you. She looked hurt but quickly recovered, mocking him for being so full of himself. Taeyong nodded, not the least offended by all the shit she threw at him before walking away, peacefully.

“You brought me here, brought fruits,” He shows your bag and the scenery before finding your eyes. “You look like you’re walking on eggs. You’re stuttering, too.”

You scoff, crossing your arms over your chest and looking bewildered. “And what makes you think that?”

Taeyong adores your annoyed face but keeps a straight expression, playing along. “You’re not so discreet, miss. You’d be the first one caught in a mission.”

Your smile flatters, the reference bringing you back on what you brought him here for. There is a whole part about Taeyong that you need to know about and something tells you it’s not going to be the most endearing story.

That is, if he agrees on telling you more.

As always he notices, his mouth forming a straight line as he nods. “So this is what we’re talking about….I guess I won’t be that mysterious guy anymore…” he tries to play it cool but deep inside he is freaking out. It has nothing to do with not wanting you to know more about him. He doesn’t want to hide anything but maybe you shouldn’t know more. He has done things he isn’t proud of and his story is not a fairy tale.

On top of that, Taeyong would never be able to handle it if you’d ever start pitying him.

You catch him deep in thoughts and try to stop him from overthinking the situation. “You don’t have to tell me anything. If you’re not comfortable it’s okay. I just…really want to know more about you and there’s nothing except that moment we met on that beach until now...” You trail off, biting your lip and looking away.

Taeyong puts your bag away and gives you the rest of the fruit you both started eating. “I want to put my head on your lap. Therapy style, you know,” he moves until his head finds your lap before smiling. “You have to promise that nothing will change. That you’ll still stay by my side.”

He looks awfully genuine, his eyes captivating as he finds a good position on the ground.

He makes you go vulnerable. The way he talks added to the way he looks at you breaks all the barriers. You feel naked, like you can’t protect yourself anymore but you understood that he is  the one taking that spot now and preventing you from being exposed to the bad things of the world.

Taeyong is that unflattering and loyal barrier, the one you know will always be your ally.

You melt as he keeps on staring, hands letting the fruit rest next to you to cup his face with tender hands.

“There’s nothing you could say that would ever make me leave your side, Taeyong.”

He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and you guess it’s the first time he hears this because when he opens them, they look shinier than before.

“Thank you.” Is all he answers, before starting from the beginning.

He looks hesitant at first, but doesn’t leave any details. You listen carefully, as he starts talking about his childhood. He tells you he was a very weak kid with not even an ounce of spitefulness. His childhood wasn’t so bad because he had a very protective older sister but he could see his parents weren’t glad with how weak he looked. He explains he gained weight in primary school and ended up being bullied for being “fat”. He tells you he didn’t care at first, until his sister started protecting him and he was mocked even more for being fat and hiding behind a girl.

He stops from time to time to smile at you because your face falls. He chuckles when you whisper about uneducated kids and how you would have probably beat them up for being so stupid.

“That was the problem. My sister isn’t that much older than me yet she was way stronger. I have nothing against it, these kids did. There was nothing I could have done; my sister was so worried and I couldn’t tell her to stop. She would go around and kick them, she even told my parents. They weren’t happy and said I should be able to look after myself.” Taeyong tries to give more details so he wouldn’t look miserable, but he notices your face and forces himself to continue.

Taeyong keep on going. He talks about how it kept going until secondary school, how he would be mocked and how he decided to lie to his sister when she went to high school and couldn’t look after him. He tries to explain how it transformed him into a bastard in high school, how he became a bully as soon as his body started changing with puberty. He was able to stop this mess by joining the group of bully and did the same thing he resented the most: hurt the others.

“I thought I was taking revenge, but not even once did I feel satisfied. Maybe I thought it would protect me. I don’t know, I was quite stupid back then.” He sighs, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at the sky. Your hand goes to his hair to brush the locks away and scratch his scalp in hope it’d make him relax a little bit. He quickly looks at you and closes his eyes in order to continue.

The story gets darker from here. Taeyong doesn’t know how to explain that moment when he had enough of being a bully and decided to free himself from the group. It looks like it’s a painful memory for him as he tells you how he ended up being rejected by his own group and by the rest of the school. He speaks fast, like he wants that moment to disappear but still tells you how he went back to being their victim. 

“I went back to the start. I was the one being bullied for not following them anymore. But then, I wasn’t the same. I wasn’t the chubby and shy kid they got to know in primary school. One day, as I got my backpack stolen and received a note saying to come and take it back after school, I decided to stop being a such a weakling.” Taeyong stops and raises a hand to rub his face. “I took my backpack and beat two of them. I didn’t know how to fight, but I had strength so I hit and hit until I couldn’t breathe. The first one ran way but the other one…”

You stop moving, head tilted to the side, “What happened to him?” you encourage, voice soft enough to give him strength.

“He ended up at the hospital.”

You gasp, a hand going to your mouth in shock. Taeyong stops, worry appearing on his face when he sees you react.

“I was so upset. I didn’t even notice how I had broken his nose, how he was barely breathing. I couldn’t stop until a teacher came and pulled me away. I was…enraged.” He finishes.

You don’t know what to answer. Even though bullying is horrible, you can’t exactly say he was right.

You can’t blame him though. Taeyong waits, expectant, waiting for you to tell him he is nothing but a monster. He is used to this. Nothing was the same in his neighbourhood after this. Nothing was the same in his entire life.

But you don’t move. You hand goes back to petting his hair and you’re staring back.

“Then..?”

He tries to compose himself when you only ask for him to continue and picks to ignore the uneasy feeling in his chest.

“Then it quickly went downhill. The kid’s family went to the police station, but since I wasn’t legal they told my parents that I should probably go to a detention camp. They agreed. I was sent there two years before graduating. The kid went to the hospital and I heard he was in an intensive care unit.” Taeyong shrugs like it doesn’t matter anymore, but the regret is here.

You on the other hand, know enough about being left-out to understand how he feels.

“They didn’t know what to do with us. I wasn’t like the other kids. They were out of control, they would fight and steal and be disrespectful. I was lucky enough to have a reputation. I was the kid who almost killed his classmate. No one dared to mess with me. There were three kids, all speaking English, who could walk by our horrendous courtyard. I don’t think they ever understood what this place was. They kept on staying behind the fence, probably talking about the kid sitting away from the others. They were so damn goofy, they insisted until I answered and I finally did. They didn’t know what I had done and were always trying to make me feel better, never asked anything. Jaehyun would give me money so I could buy myself things and Johnny would sneak among us when we were allowed to go shopping with a supervisor.” He smiles then, “It’s not like I was a monster anyways…”

“You were not a monster. As much as I hate fights, you were too young to know what you were doing, and no one tried to help either. There’s only so little one can tolerate before doing something stupid.” You try to reassure him because it obviously affects him. You can see the worry, even after this. Taeyong looks like he hopes the guy is okay now.

“They tried to find us jobs that would accept us. Coming from a detention camp meant forgetting about high positions and university. They brought many people but no one cared. One day, two officers from the foreign legion came. We were about to turn eighteen and it meant either detention for some of us, or liberty. I was smart enough to agree going with the foreign legion. Considering the kid’s family, they would have probably asked for prison. This is how I went abroad.”

“This is where you learnt about all this…”

Taeyong nods, “It wasn’t easy. I’m not going to complain because I agreed to it, but it was hell. The foreign legion is worse than the army and they love leaving us in the woods, or kidnap us in the middle of the night to test our resistance. It turned out that I had handled too much to cry or beg for it to stop. At the beginning, I felt alive. No one was being rude or fighting, no one was being disrespectful, no one cared about me and this is what I wanted. I wanted people to leave me the fuck alone. I didn’t want to be ‘fattyong’ or ‘the kid who attempted murder’, I was the Asian solder, the one coming from a detention camp and doing what he was asked.”

He sits again, stretching his now sore limbs. “Then I understood my limits. I was losing way too much weight because I wasn’t focusing on the important and ended up being left out by the group. I was too weak to continue, I got left in a damn river at 3 in the morning and collapsed because of the cold. It’s only when they told me that I had to take care of myself that I decided to stop. I understood I was suffering willingly because I was trying to punish myself. I was hating myself for being such a weak bastard, for not meeting my parents’ expectations, for leaving my sister behind and for almost killing a kid who didn’t deserve such a fate. I couldn’t stand seeing my own impoverished face. When I realised that, I was literally a recluse, I had no idea how to deal with normal human beings. It’s not a happy story. It wasn’t a happy story. I’m sorry.”

You shake your head, a tired smile appearing on your face. “How did you meet Doyoung, though?”

“Doyoung? He was the doctor’s son. He would come every week with his father and was even more asocial than me. He hated every kid. His father owns his own hospital now. Before leaving I told the guys I would come back and when I called them, three years later, to let them know I was done with the foreign legion, they wasted no time inviting me with them on their trip. It turns out they had become good friends while I was away.” Taeyong finally looks happy when he mentions his friends, you see it from the way he grabs tiny stones and throws them.

After a while he talks again. “I thought you’d tell me how much of a freak I am. I was so damn anxious.” He admits, his face falling.

You smile, feeling more in love because of his sincerity than disgusted. Taeyong has been through a lot and deserves happiness. You’re willing to give him just that.

“You do know you’re important to me, right?” you ask out of the blue, suddenly desperate to let him know he isn’t alone and can rely on you. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. I don’t resent nor pity you, Taeyong. I’m just glad you feel comfortable enough to share this with me.” It’s true. You feel nothing but tenderness for the boy, whose face lit up instantly.

Taeyong doesn’t know what to do with himself. He has no experience in that field and it makes him all weird and fuzzy. He likes the feeling and tries to come up with something but the words get caught in his throat. He wants to yell and cry.

He isn’t even sure he deserves someone like you.

So he doesn’t try to be fancy and keeps it simple. He approaches you and takes your face between his two shaking hands.

“I love you.”

You tell him you do, too.

--

Taeyong feels lighter. It’s like he has nothing to hide, like you know him fully and love him for what he is. That night he carried you back on his back, ignoring the elderly people looking at you two. He covered you and kissed your forehead, his body nestled and mouth whispering sweet words until you fell asleep.

He is in deep trouble now, though.

Especially when he tags along during your shower session. You almost beg him to come and he agrees, knowing damn well he isn’t going to enjoy the moment you both end up washing each other. He knows it’s natural for you, but he doesn’t think he can handle such situations yet.

He forgot to tell you the part where he only touched a woman once, during one leave at the foreign legion when he had way too much to drink.

Taeyong doesn’t know if you’re questioning yourself. Maybe it’s only him, but he feels too many things to ignore them. You probably expect him to be the manly guy who can handle any situations.

Unfortunately, he knows more about tropical plants than desires.

“Do you want me to wash your hair? One of the lady made this with sand and herbs.” You’re still wearing that tank top and he hates how the water made it turn awfully transparent. You’re showing him a pot with a weird, sticky substance and he has to tear his eyes away from you.

You smile. “Are you okay?” he has been acting weird lately, like touching you hurts him.

Taeyong breathes out, nodding softly and turning around to kneel in the water. “Sure.”

You comply, ignoring the awkwardness and working on his hair. They might be dirty but they are always so soft. You hum absent-mindedly, rubbing the skin as Taeyong becomes a puddle of grunts.

He is done for.

--

“Don Juan is back!” Johnny mocks as soon as he sees him. Mark laughs like a kid and Doyoung scoffs, whispering about love fools as he is counting his medical supplies.

“I wish.” Taeyong’s answer makes them halt. It’s true that he changed since he is in a relationship. He smiles more and looks truly happy, but the real Taeyong would never react that way.

“What’s happening?” Doyoung tries, throwing a bandage into his bag. “I can’t help. We don’t have Viagra here.” He laughs when Taeyong makes a face but stops when he doesn’t hear his friend deny anything. “Wait…do you have trouble…?”

“No!” Taeyong is quick to throw him an empty bottle. “I’m not- it’s not-,” he sighs. Maybe these guys aren’t the best counsellors in this island. “I don’t know…I don’t think I can…” he tries but stop, embarrassment evident on his face.

Jaehyun gets up from his position on the ground. “When was the last time you had sex?”

Mark almost chokes on his water, his body raising from the ground. “I think someone called my name. I…have to go.”

Johnny laughs, nodding. “The real question is, have you ever had sex with anyone?”

Taeyong shrugs, makes a face and even pinches his lips. “I did. Once.”

Three voices make him jump. “Once?!”

Two women turn around questioningly, making Taeyong close his eyes in despair. “Yes, once. Do you want to write it in big letters on the damn sand? Taeyong’s almost a virgin!”

“Bro, we’re just shocked. With a face like yours we thought you’d get laid every night. No wonder you didn’t even give your number to these girls back in New Zealand.” Johnny raises two hands in protest. “There’s nothing wrong with being…inexperienced. Right, guys?”

Doyoung nods, closing his bag with a sigh. “I spend too much time at the hospital anyways. What’s your problem, though? Just tell her.”

Johnny scoffs. “He doesn’t want to, why would he come and ask us dumbass about it otherwise? Concentrate, Doyoung.”

Taeyong coughs, “It’s not about telling her. I’m not going to ask for anything. I just…don’t know how to deal with myself.”

“Oh,” Johnny clicks his fingers, feeling like a genius. “You’re like a horny teen who doesn’t know how to deal with himself, then. Well it’s easy, you have to find a quiet place and then you grab your-” before he can finish Doyoung throws him the bottle he received from Taeyong earlier.

“Why are you telling him that? Seriously Taeyong, explain it to her. Tell her you’re inexperienced and being too intimate makes you uncomfortable because you don’t know how to deal with your emotions. She doesn’t look like a stupid girl. Do not listen to Johnny or you’ll end up polishing your meat like a creep in the jungle. You don’t want to be a creep.”

Johnny laughs loudly. “Polish your meat. I like that one. Okay then if we have to listen to our doctor, go and tell her. Then maybe from time to time you can-”

“SHUT UP!”

--

Taeyong is paralysed. He doesn’t know how you ended up on his lap but here you are, reading something he doesn’t care about and playing with your hair. You found this place away from the camp and insisted on staying here for the night so he complied because he can’t say no to you.

You’d ask him to fish with his teeth and he’d try.

But now you’re moving way too much. Taeyong tries to act like he is resting against that tree but he just can’t. His whole body is so tensed it hurts his back and legs but he can do it.

He can act like everything is fine.

It’s when you stretch that he stutters a couple of broken words. “Hurts- my…leg.”

You apologize quickly, moving away so you can kneel and pat his sore limbs. “I’m sorry, I’ll just lay down next to you, then.”

Taeyong still looks disturbed. You try not to focus on it but you can feel it. He avoids contact at all cost and is always super busy when you become too clingy. You lay down and go back to the story when you hear Taeyong’s voice, distinct yet soft.

“There’s something I need to tell you…”

You put the book away and roll on your side to look at him. “Yes?” he looks too worried to make you think he is going to say something positive.

“I have no idea how to explain it to you so, forget my bluntness. I feel uneasy whenever we’re intimate because I’ve only been physical with a girl once in my life and I don’t know how it is to have a girlfriend. I don’t know what to do with myself because I feel this pull toward you but at the same time, I don’t want to do something inappropriate.” He breathes loudly when he is done and waits for you answer.

Nothing comes.

You tilt your head, brows furrowed and Taeyong thinks you’re about to kick him for being such a pervert.

He doesn’t know you’re actually relieved.

“Do you want me to stop touching you?” You try slowly, not really understanding why he looks so uneasy.

“No! I mean- wow, that sounded desperate.” Taeyong’s laugh betrays his nervousness but he shakes his head before you think he doesn’t want to be around you. “It’s because I really want you to touch me that I’m uncomfortable.”

His answer makes you blush. Taeyong never sounds creepy when he speaks, even when he talks about how he needs you but doesn’t know how to deal with the matter.

“Would you mind if I was…more intimate?” You ask again, earning a grunt from Taeyong who doesn’t know what to answer.

“You don’t have to. I’m not saying this to push you into anything.”

You sigh, finding a sitting position in an instant. “I’m just asking if that would make you uncomfortable. You’re not being a push-over.”

Taeyong waits, eyes scanning the beach before looking at you again.

“No, not at all. I don’t want to disappoint you, that’s all.”

It’s funny how Taeyong became so insecure. He used to be so confident in his skills, so serious and unflattering when he would scold you for being a cry-baby.

Now he looks vulnerable and fragile. You can see how he doesn’t want to lose you.

You think it’s adorable.

He looks puzzled when you get up. Your book is left on the beach, completely forgotten as you straddle him.

Taeyong raises his hands, shocked to see you sit on his lap. He doesn’t protest but you don’t let him. Taeyong needs to feel more confident in himself so you’ll give him what he needs.

He is breathless when you kiss him.

Your gentleness destroys him. The way your lips trap his breaks him. Your core against his body annihilates his soul. By the time he is on the sand and into you, both his body and his soul are a mess.

Even though no one knows when they will be out of here, he prays all the gods.

Taeyong doesn’t want it to end.

You both wake up to people yelling though. 

It’s noisy and scary so you both get up at the speed of light, glad you decided not to sleep naked. 

The camp is going crazy by the time you join everyone and just like that, Taeyong’s prayers vanish. 

There, in the endless sea, was a boat. 

[boldly-ho]

Another Life - Chapter 10

Fandom: What We  Do in the Shadows 

Pairing: Vladislav x Reader

Series Rating: M

Word Count: 1838

Chapter Summary: You clear the air with all four flatmates.

A/N: As always, cross posted to AO3.

Warning: Brief mentions of suicidal ideation.

You entered the lounge in your pajamas, your face already washed, and your hair messy. You collapsed onto the couch and started scrolling through your phone, making excellent progress on spending the evening in a near vegetative state.

“You’re not going out tonight?” Dawn asked.

You didn’t look up from your phone. “No. It’s been weeks. That guy’s not coming back; I scared him off for good. So I figured I might as well stay home until my depressive state killed me, quite possibly by my own hand,” you deadpanned.

“Y/N. That’s not funny.”

“Sorry.”

Changing the subject from your macabre exaggeration, Dawn suggested, “Let’s go out tonight.”

You threw her a look.

“No, really. Like actually out. Not just you sitting alone and sad at bar waiting for someone you may or may not have known to show up. Let’s go out, you and me, for a girl’s night. We’ll go out for drinks and dancing. Not Boogie Wonderland. You need a break from that place. Some other club.”

“Rain check?” You didn’t feel like going out. You didn’t feel like having fun. You felt like lying on the couch until you wasted away.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m really worried about you.”

You brushed off her comment, but you were getting sort of worried about yourself, as well. You’d stopped going to see your psychologist. Earlier in the day you found yourself wishing you would go to sleep and just not wake up. You were constantly miserable, surviving but not living.

“Well if you really don’t want to go out, why don’t we stay in and have a movie night? I’ll rent something online and then order a pizza, my treat, okay?”

You didn’t really feel like doing anything, but you recognized that Dawn was trying her best, and you appreciated it. And watching a movie and binging on pizza in your pjs seemed much more manageable that getting dressed up to go out and party.

You nodded. “Okay. Thanks.”

~

The kitchen table was much too small for all five of you. Your elbows bumped either Vladislav on your left or Petyr on your right every time you shifted. Petyr sort of gave you the heebie jeebies, so you found yourself leaning slightly away from him, putting you uncomfortably close to Vladislav. You suggested relocating to the dining room, but were told that it was currently covered in blood and had a corpse laying on the table. You weren’t sure what was more unsettling, the fact that that was the state of the dining room, or that that news was delivered to you so nonchalantly. Nevertheless, the dining room was to an option, so you were all squeezed around the tiny kitchen table.

Viago cleared his throat before beginning. “We are here to clear the air about our being vampires and discuss our living situation with Y/N. It might be helpful if we reintroduced ourselves, properly, this time. I’ll go first.” He turned to address you directly. I am Viago Von Dorna Schmarten Scheden Heimburg.”

You stared blankly.

“Oh, and I’m 379 years old,” he added as an afterthought.

You tried to do the mental math in your head, but quickly gave up and decided to figure it out later.

“Deacon Brucke. I’m 183 years old.”

“Vladislav the Poker.  862 years old.”

He might not have been kidding about the Middle Ages last night, after all. You turned to Petyr, anticipating his introduction.

“Petyr,” he rasped, his voice as cold and creepy as the rest of him.

You waited for his age, but he stared blankly at you with his pale eyes, not volunteering any further information.

“We don’t know how old Petyr is,” Viago explained. “He lost track. Over 8,000, though.”

Your jaw dropped. “For real?”

Your turned back to Petyr and he nodded once. Shit. Okay, then.

Viago continued, “Y/N, do have any questions about vampires in general or specifically about any of us?”

You figured a general ‘Tell me about vampires.’ was too open-ended, and you tried to think of a more specific question. You had a lot of questions, though, and you didn’t know where to start. You also had some vague ideas and assumptions about vampires, but you didn’t know which, if any, were true. “How about I just tell you what I’ve heard about vampires, and you guys can correct me where I’m wrong and fill in the gaps. Does that work?”

The four looked to one another before nodding.

“So, you-“ You realized you didn’t quite feel comfortable referring to them as vampires, so you restarted, more generally. “So, vampires need to consume human blood. They sleep in coffins, during the day. Sunlight, garlic, silver, and crosses are all bad for them.” You looked around to see that all four were still nodding along, so you continued, rattling things off a bit faster. “Not showing up in mirrors, turning into bats, flying, having to be invited in, wooden stakes, hypnosis, and whatever Deacon did with that guy’s backpack.”

“Teleportation,” Deacon clarified.

You nodded, but tried not to give it too much thought. Watching him crawl out of that backpack was easily the most horrifying thing you’d ever encountered, and you felt the ball of fear and anxiety in your stomach return just remembering it.

“Vampires also have quicker and superior healing ability than humans.”

“And it’s not just bats,” Deacon added. “Cats and dogs, too. But with practice it can be any animal. Vladislav is known for his transformation abilities.”

Vladislav smiled proudly. “That’s not practice, though, that’s skill.”

“Ja, some vampires have certain abilities that other vampires don’t. I once met a vampire who could become invisible,” Viago explained.

“It isn’t just crucifixes, either.” Vladislav glanced quickly to your chest where he knew your necklace hung. “It’s any religious icons or words.”

“Really? Words? Like even if I just say ‘god’-“

You were cut off by wincing and hissing from around the table.

“Don’t do that!” Deacon scolded you.

“Shit. Sorry.” As frightening as vampires inherently were, it made you feel better that they had their weaknesses. “So is it just vampires? That are real, I mean? Or is every mythological creature real? Do I need to be on the lookout for, like, ghosts?”

“Ghosts aren’t real,” Deacon scoffed.

“Of course ghosts are real,” Viago argued.

“Oh really? Have you ever seen a ghost?”

“Not technically. But the house I grew up in was haunted! There was a spirit who lived in the walls.”

“There was not. It was probably a rat.”

“You think I would confuse a rat for a ghost?”

“So, there’s no reason for me to change my thoughts on ghosts?” you interrupted.

“Ghosts are real,” Vladislav answered. You took it with a grain of salt, though. “Werewolves are real, too.” The rest of the group nodded. “I wouldn’t go out on full moons, if I were you. There is a pack that roams in Te Aro.”

That thought chilled you. You were sure you’d gone out in Te Aro on a full moon before. Then again, you’d gone out many times before unaware that there were vampires, including your current flatmates, out and about.

“Zombies and witches, too.”

“We’re not sure what all exists,” Viago told you. “Lots of myths are true, and lots aren’t. Some Maori myths are based on real creatures.”

“Oh! Petyr, remember the taniwha that attacked our ship when we came to New Zealand?”

Petyr nodded solemnly.

Vampires, werewolves, assorted creatures. Your entire worldview was being forcibly changed over these past 24 hours, but you just nodded. What else could you do?

“I’m safe, right?” you asked suddenly. “From you guys? I mean, there’s literally a dead body in the other room.” You were afraid it sounded more accusatory than you meant it, but you felt it was a fair question, all in all.

“We can control ourselves,” Deacon said, somewhat indignantly.

“You’re our flatmate and our friend. You don’t have to worry.”

“Thanks.” You thought it was odd to thank someone for not killing you, but you didn’t know what else to say. “Is there anything you guys need from me? As a human flatmate? Other than not slamming the doors and being quiet during daylight hours?”

“Don’t tell anyone we’re vampires,” Vladislav said sternly. “Not anyone. Not ever. Vampire hunters are also real and when word gets out that you are a vampire, you tend not to be around soon after.” He, as well as the other three, looked deadly serious.

You nodded quickly to reassure them. “I won’t tell anyone.” You looked around the table. Everyone was still seated, though it felt like the natural conclusion to the flat meeting. “About the dining room…?”

“Jackie will be here to clean it up later tonight,” Deacon said.

“Is she a vampire, too?”

“No. She is my familiar.”

“Familiar?” To you, the word conjured images of black kittens following cartoon witches on broomsticks. You weren’t sure how the term applied to the woman you’d once met.

“Slave,” Vladislav clarified.

You looked at him in shock, and he returned your gaze, shameless and undisturbed. It wasn’t the first time something that had appalled you had entirely unaffected him. You wondered if that was a result of his being a vampire, his living for over 800 years, his being from the Middle Ages, or if it was just how he was as a person.  

Undoubtedly sensing your discomfort, Viago clarified, “A familiar serves a vampire for a while in exchange for being turned into a vampire after service.”

You calmed a bit. That sounded better than ‘slave.’ “So you’re going to turn her into a vampire?”

“No,” Deacon snorted.

“What? Why not?”

“Familiars don’t get turned into vampires.”

“Well, sometimes, probably, they do,” Viago argued. “I’ve never actually heard of it happening, though.”

“You’ve lost me,” you told them honestly.

Vladislav sighed. “Familiars exchange their service for the promise of becoming a vampire. Then they serve their masters until they die of old age or are killed.”

You exclaimed in disgust. “That’s horrible.”

Vladislav shrugged, his sleeve brushing your bare arm. These guys all ate actual, live people to survive. You supposed their moral compasses would have to be a bit more skewed than yours was.

However, despite your clear distaste for it all, you felt relieved to know they were vampires. It was one thing to kill because you could, or because you wanted to, as you thought had been the case before last night. It was another to kill because you had to. Yes, innocent people still died, and yes, your flatmates seemed to enjoy it. Deacon’s manic laughter as he chased that man out of your room was sure to haunt you for a while to come. But no matter how awful it was for the victims, or or how little guilt they felt about it, they had to do it to survive. And that fact alone made you feel better, if only a bit.

[thelittlestcheshire]

Self Para 005: The Reminders Pull the Floor From Your Feet

Note: For starters, this takes place on Saturday. This involves the Leo plot, and for the most part it’s...  lots of Ches’s thought process leading up to her visiting Leo. Any interactions with people are lead up / not really... the majority. So please, tread carefully. I was careful to avoid going too deep into her more... brutal thought processes in hopes of ensuring it’s not too triggering but given the context I do feel a need to mention it. I do discuss her finding her brother after his attempt a little bit too, so, please pay heed to the tws and if you think it may be an issue, I strongly urge you skip this self para. I love you guys, and your safety is the biggest priority always <3

TWs: Suicide / Suicide Attempts, Decapitation / Murder (mentioned in a comment about how displeased Leo will be to see her), Hanging, Amputation, Ches’s thought process while shopping does include her making considerations about what she can buy Leo can’t hurt himself with so I don’t know how to tag that but I am aware it could be triggering.

For once, Ches didn’t know how she was expected to react, but she was sure it didn’t align with how she currently felt as she tore through her wardrobe to try to find something to wear. What even was appropriate to wear today? Colors were too cheery, white too saintly, black was a staple in her wardrobe and entirely off the table. Everything in her closet was practically getting thrown without care as she desperately tried to find anything. Even as her front door opens, she doesn’t glance to see who was coming in until she hears Balo squeak as she tries to avoid yet another thrown object.

“Sorry! I just was wondering if I could maybe borrow a pair of shorts?” The blonde squeals and the redhead pauses her frantic search for something appropriate to wear. Was Balo really trying to carry on like normal when her friend was in the hospital after trying to kill himself? Sure, people were saying it was an accident, but that didn’t mean it was.

Emmett had told everyone it was an accident after his attempt, a prank gone wrong, that she had to cut him down from the ceiling after. And at this point, she simply didn’t believe in accidents.

“Of course, they’re in the dresser. Let me know if there’s something worth wearing to the hospital in there while you’re at it.” She glances away from what she was doing to wave her friend toward where the dresser was. She would have to rearrange the room to the way she liked it eventually, but she hadn’t exactly been happy about much of anything since they arrived in New Zealand. 

“Is going to see Leo a good idea?”

Balo’s question throws her off, as it was one she had been asking herself over and over again. She still didn’t know the answer herself, and she just turns away from her friend to go back through her closet, tossing yet more things in the direction of her bed as she fails to find something worth wearing. “This is my fault. I have to go.” She finally speaks as she tosses the last item of clothing in the closet onto the floor. “If I had done more....”

“It was an accident, remember? Just breathe, okay? You dress like you usually would. Maybe ask if I’m allowed to visit if you think he’s up to it?” She shakes her head, grabbing the shorts she came for from the drawer before she tosses a pair of ripped jeans and a tank top her way. Ches catches it, grateful for the answer so she could move onto the next method to tear herself apart with. “Just promise me you’ll be gentle with him. He’s going through a lot.”

“I’m not going to be mean. I figured he might like some comfy clothes and stuff. If someone else already thought of it, great, but...” She glances at her shoe rack as she talks. Maybe she should wear sneakers instead of heels for once, it’d make her look shorter and left her feeling more vulnerable, but perhaps it’d ease his fears of her just showing up. She doubted she was the first person he wanted to see; in fact, she was likely the very last, perhaps Balo was right, and this was a horrible idea.

But she needed to do this. How else was she going to live with the guilt?

“Well, if you need to talk later, come find me. I’ve gotta go, but I love you.”

“I love you too.” And with those words, Ches was alone with her thoughts again. She takes a deep breath as she walks over to her dresser to set the clothes she was going to wear down. Stepping over multiple piles of discarded clothes carefully as she realizes just how much money she’d just carelessly thrown to the floor as if it didn’t matter. Perhaps, in the long run, it didn’t. Still, she kneels down and starts to sort through the discarded clothes on the floor, slowly beginning to put everything back onto hangers. How was she supposed to make intentions clear from the moment he saw her? 

Maybe the gifts would help, but she was just going to have to accept that whatever she did, Leo was likely to be hostile. Emmett was after his attempt, and he liked her. Ches was entirely unwelcome, and she knew that, but she supposed that was well deserved. If the roles were reversed, she would have made Leo’s visit a living hell for daring to breathe near her after a failed attempt. He had every right to do the same to her now. She carefully puts the last dress back where it belongs, going through the motions of getting dressed and making herself presentable, throwing her hair up in a ponytail, grabbing her bag, and just leaving the dorms. 

She would have to go to the store and try to find things Leo would be allowed to have. She was already starting a shopping list of things in her head, things he’d need, things he’d like. 

-------------------

Could she trust Leo with colored pencils, or was she going to have to stick with crayons? As Ches looks over the shelf of Crayola products, she ponders it for a few moments before she grabs both the washable crayons and the twistable colored pencils, glancing around before she tosses the bath crayons in too. She always got her worst thoughts in the shower. Maybe giving him a creative outlet he could take with him would be beneficial. On second thought, she tosses a box in for herself too. Her roommate was simply going to have to fucking deal with it.

The notebook had to have no wires, nothing he could pull off of it and cause harm. Any bags needed to be paper so he’d be allowed to have them. The slippers had to be sturdy yet stringless. She’d broken into his room in an attempt to figure out sizes, so she was hoping she was doing well on the clothing. She didn’t want to bring anything of his, not only because it’d require her to be honest that she had broken into his bedroom, but because she already knew how easily things got lost. The last thing she needed was to grab something that mattered and something happening to it. That was a problem she had no intention of being blamed for.

What else could be needed? Pre-paid call cards just in case what she’d read was wrong, and he wasn’t allowed to have his cell phone. If he did, she supposed it never hurt to have prepaid international calling cards either way. 

He liked pen and ink, not paint, right?

For a moment, she tries to remember the art of his she had seen, none of it had been paintings, but maybe that was just simply because he couldn’t carry it around. She could ask, offer to make a second trip. She tosses comfy clothes into the cart as she goes, trying to find the most comfortable stringless things she could find, socks and underwear, because people probably weren’t thinking of it when they grabbed stuff. Toothbrush, he definitely needed a toothbrush. And inpatient units were usually cold, so a massive plush blanket probably help. He probably would be allowed to have zippers. Shit, what was his jeans size? Maybe Elizabeth would know, although was it a good idea to bother her at work with how busy she was. She glances at the racks for a minute, considering it for a moment.

Stuffed animals were usually taken in her experience, but if she could prove he wouldn’t hurt himself with it, maybe getting him something he was allowed to punch would be nice. After all, he did seem to enjoy his fights. Was Winnie the Pooh punchable? Balo was onto something when she said Leo looked like Christopher Robin. And he was a baby toy, so if Leo got him apart and found a way to hurt himself with it, it would be a feat. Still, she considers it a moment longer and puts an elephant in the cart instead.

She could always come back for it later if he’d appreciate the joke. What else would he like? Would the ward he was on allow her to drop by and grab him fast food? She probably could find a McDonalds’.

She takes a deep breath, already trying to find the number to find out. Hopefully, they’d allow outside food and drink. After all, what made someone’s day brighter than cheap junk food? 

-------------------

[To Momma Everett 😍😍:] I’m dropping by to see Leo, so I’m gonna put my phone on vibrate to avoid him ripping my head off, but I love you so so so so so much, and please don’t hesitate to call if you need anything. I’ve got everything handled here, I promise. I’m going to tell the front desk I’m your daughter, so that should get me in long enough to drop him off clothes and stuff. Hopefully, he won’t correct them? 🤞

Ches puts her phone into her purse after she’s done, tossing the bag over her shoulder before she goes around to the trunk of her rental to grab the stuff. It felt like it wasn’t enough, but it wasn’t as if she could bring him nearly as much as she wanted to, just essentials and a few small things in hopes of making him smile. She goes to the hospital’s front desk, explaining why she was here and that she had no idea where she was supposed to be going. As they led her in the direction of where he was, she tries to take deep breaths. Leo was going to kill her for this, wasn’t he? Maybe she should have dropped by to steal a kiss from Elliot before she left before he literally ripped her skull from her body.

Of course, nothing could have prepared her for what was to come after she got on the unit. She hands over the stuff to the nurse’s station for them to check over, insisting it’d be better if she waited to go in to see him until she had it back, and for a brief moment, she sees Leo, and everything comes crashing down. Where had his arm gone? Why hadn’t anyone told her?

“Your brother didn’t tell you.” The nurse guesses, and she glances over to the man and the art supplies she’d brought. Was it a dick move? Perhaps, but she wasn’t going to let anyone even dare suggest he couldn’t do art. It was only a matter of adjusting how he approached it, and suddenly she didn’t care if she had to import a physical therapist willing to try to help him. If anyone tried to tell Leo he wasn’t doing something, they would have to fight her. 

“No, but that’s okay. He can still whomp me for bringing him children’s bath crayons after he gets home. He’ll be fine.”

If the nurse says anything else, she doesn’t listen. She just quietly waits for him to sticker the stuff and hand it back to her before she enters to see Leo, trying to keep her hands from shaking as she hopes that for once, maybe she wouldn’t say the wrong thing to him. 

[babygirlizz]

Movies and TV shows of 2019

Okay so a couple or few years ago I did a review of movies that had released that year because I was super into movies that year. I am still into movies, but I have been watching a lot more shows this year. So, I will be reviewing movies and tv shows. Furthermore, I will be including stuff released this year, that I found this year, or that has a new season this year. Basically just anything that I have loved this year. Also, I don’t feel like ranking, so no particular order. Also, SPOILERS AHEAD - if you see a title of something you have not seen, and don’t want spoilers, please feel free to skip that section. Also, some of these I haven’t seen in a hot minute so if I get a detail messed up, we won’t speak on it. And finally, trigger warning - if you have struggled with sexual assault and may have an issue reading about it, either skip this post entirely or skip over the review of “Unbelievable.”

MOVIES -

1. After

I have been waiting for this since middle school. I read the after books on wattpad because what teenager in love with harry styles didn’t. Now I will be real with y'all. The acting could use some work in specific scenes, and some of the actors aren't MY favorite picks for certain roles, but I’m not gonna hate on actors. Ok so, Tessa (Josephine Langford) is an incoming freshman in college and is rooming with an upperclassmen, Steph (Khadijha Red Thunder) who has a friend named Hardin (Hero Fiennes-Tiffin). Steph wants Tessa to branch out and do new things, so she invites her to a party, where they play the stereotypical games, and thats when Hardin is kind of dared to make Tessa fall in love with him. ALSO, Tessa has a high school boyfriend named Noah (Dylan Arnold). She starts seeing Hardin, her boyfriend finds out, she falls in love with Hardin, and finds out it was all a dare. Buuuuuuut, pLoT tWiSt he actually loves her.

2. Avengers: Endgame

Ok listen, Infinity War was heartbreaking bc Bucky duh, but y'all are really gonna take Tony (RDJ) and Steve (Chris Evans) away from me? Shut up. Still, this was a really good movie and I’m not just saying that because I’m a marvel hoe. FRICK Thanos and thats on Ant Man. Thats literally all I have to say.

3. Annabelle Comes Home

I am a whore for scary movies. I love them so much and this one was *chefs kiss*. I love Mckenna Grace, she's such a good young actress and she fits so well in scary moves. There’s not much to say about the plot in this one, and ya really need to see it. Also, Bob (Michael Cimino) is so heckin cute what the heck.

4. Let It Snow

Ok this is a lot to unpack so grab ya snacks. Let’s talk about couple number 1 (of 3), Tobin (Mitchell Hope) and Angie (Kiernan Shipka) who are best friends. Tobin is in love with Angie but doesn’t know how to tell her, and gets lots of unwanted encouragement from his best friend Keon (Jacob Batalon) who just wants to throw a heckin good party, is that too much to ask for? So Angie gets invited to a party by some cute guy, JP (M and Tobin is jealous but goes with her anyways and they steal a keg for Keon’s party and run from the scary hosts of the party and end up stranded in a church after his car spins out of control. They finally make it to the party and kiss on the roof with the waffle town sign shining bright behind them. NEXT - we have Julie (Isabela Merced) and Stuart (Shameik Moore). This is kind of really cliche with the whole “he’s-famous-she-doesn’t-care-he-finds-that-attractive-lets-fall-in-love” aspect, but its also hella cute uwu. They meet on a train and the train stops so they go eat at the waffle town and go sledding and do a bunch of cute coupley shit. His manager comes to get him and basically tells her that nothing will ever really happen between them and he leaves. Then, he shows up at the party and they fall in love. NEXT- we have Dorrie (Liv Hewson) who is a lesbian that constantly struggles with the gay panic. Her best friend Addie (Odeya Rush) doesn't help much either because she's having her own relationship problems. Dorrie works at Waffle Town and when she's working the girl she's talking to, Kerry (Anna Akana) comes in with her dance team, and she's not out of the closet. A bunch of shit goes down, but they end up together and Dorrie learns that she’s worth more than she thinks and that’s all that matters. Also, Billy (Miles Robbins) and Tin Foil Woman (Joan Cusack) make wonderful additions to this movie.

5. The King

First of all - Timothée Chalamet and Robert Pattinson in the same movie? Sign me the HECK up. But they’re also historical, frick yea. Not too much to say about this movie other than it’s good. Super graphic (don’t watch if you don’t like decapitation lol) and super long, but good nonetheless.

6. Falling Inn Love

This movie is super freaking cute. Gabriela (Christina Milian) decides that she needs a change and enters a contest to win an Inn in New Zealand. She wins the Inn and is shocked when she realizes the Inn needs a LOT of work. She goes around town to get stuff to fix up the Inn and constantly runs into Jake (Adam Demos) and they have this flirty but we don’t like each other relationship, but then ya know, they fall in(n) love. 

SHOWS -

1. The Society

I could talk about this show for hours, literally. I love it so much it’s insane. Ok, so lets start from the beginning. A town called West Ham is being plagued by a disgusting smell. Due to this, the town decides to send busloads of teenagers to the mountains while they try and resolve the smell situation. All of the teenagers fall asleep on the bus and wake up to the announcement that they had to go back home due to road blocks. When they get off the buses, its late and no one is there to pick them up. They think that it may just be a sense of miscommunication, so they head home, only to find that none of their families are there, and they can’t get ahold of any of them over the phone. They finally decide to investigate and find that all exits out of town are completely blocked off. They then decide to find a way to survive without their families. This causes a lot of tension within the town including the death of a main character. This shows also includes gay representation!!!! This is my favorite couple, Sam (Sean Birdy) and Grizz (Jack Mulhern). Sam is deaf and gay and his brother, Campbell (Toby Wallace), makes fun of him for both reasons, and when the whole issue with the town happens, he believes he will never find love because he doesn’t think anyone else is gay, until Grizz comes along, and tries to learn ASL and loves him for him.

2. Roswell New Mexico

Alright, to be completely honest, I did not want to watch this. I have no idea why I just didn’t. I saw an edit on like instagram or something of the couples in the show and I was like, alright I can give it a chance. And spoiler alert I loved it. The series starts off with Liz Ortecho (Jeanine Mason) comes back to her hometown of Roswell around the time of her the anniversary of her sister, Rosa’s (Amber Midthunder), death. She gets pulled over on her way in and the officer that pulled her over was Max Evans (Nathan Parsons), who has had a crush on her since they first met, and just so happens to be an alien. After Liz gets shot in her families restaurant, Max uses his healing powers to save her, but leaves behind a hand print on her that makes her suspicious. She continues to investigate until he tells her the truth. She also finds out that her sister was actually murdered, and has the same hand print on her that she did when Max healed her. Turns out, his sister, Isobel (Lily Cowels) killed her, but it was actually another alien possessing her (which they didn’t know was possible when she killed her). When they landed on earth they also landed with their “brother” Michael (Michael Vlamis) who starts off the series with an on and off relationship with Alex (Tyler Blackburn) and I love them together. Alex is the son of one of the guys trying to find and take down the aliens and he also went to war and lost his leg. Anyways, towards the end of the season Alex starts seeing Maria (Heather Hemmens), which is a couple I don’t really like, but also bi representation is good! Anyways I don’t really wanna spoil this one too much I just love it a lot.

3. Elite

This is a show that came out in 2018, but they released a second season this year. All I’m saying is please watch the original version, not the dubbed over version. Elite is a spanish show about a few students that get a scholarship to the private school after their school gets demolished. This shows is in the fashion of present and past which includes a lot of flashbacks leading up to the the murder of one of the students. My favorite part of this show is the relationship between Ander (Arón Piper) and Omar (Omar Ayuso). Ander is the son of the head of the school and Omar is the brother of one of the students that got a scholarship. Not only are they of different socioeconomic status’, but Omar is also Muslim, and his family would not approve of him being gay. He finally finds the courage to tell his family, but thats not until season 2. Also, his sister Nadia (Mina El Hammani) falls in love with the “bad boy” of the school, Guzmán (Miguel Bernardeau) and starts going against her parents wishes as well.

4. The Umbrella Academy 

Y’all mind if I confuse y'all real quick. So, a bunch of women all of the sudden give birth out of nowhere at the same time even tho none of them were pregnant? Yea I know weird. Anyways, so this dude tries to adopt as many of them as possible and ends up adopting like 7. They all have powers and they try and stop the apocalypse. That’s literally all I can tell y'all. 

5. Unbelievable

I swear I didn’t mean to get y’all upset right now. This show made me angry and sad and so many other feelings all at once. So the show beings with a girl named Marie (Kaitlyn Dever) getting raped in her home. When she reports it, they can’t find any evidence, as he cleaned the apartment and made her shower. This mixed with the fact that she struggles remembering parts of her experience (which is common with sexual assault), the police don’t believe her and force her to retract her statement. This in itself is awful, but they also charge her with false statement, which adds on to the fact that people already believe that she is a liar. Years later, two female detectives, Karen and Grace, piece together rapes in their precincts and once they find the rapist, they find Marie’s picture in with his belongings, proving that she was telling the truth the entire time.

6. Sailor Moon

I just got into anime and all I have to say is that I love this. That is all.

[kuriquinn]

Why do all your pets names start with z? I love the names so much btw!

The Tale of the Z Family

Lol! That was the brainchild of high school me. I decided there weren’t enough people/pets with Z names out there and decided any future pets of mine would have names starting with Z. And I’d already decided Zeke would be the first name I used.

So one night my brother and I were watching Nanny 911 or something like that and switching back and forth between that and Zoey 101 because there was LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE ON TV, we hear the car pull into the driveway and my mom and dad are coming back from date night. So the doorbell rings and I go to open it and when I do...mom leading two 12 week old golden retriever puppies into the house.

Suffice to say my bro and I almost shit our pants we were in shock because I had been asking for a dog for like a year or two and I kept being told no. And now suddenly, bam, two fur babies.

So I immediately name the boy Zeke and my brother names the girl Zoey (for obvious reasons) and this begins our little Z family.

(I unfortunately don’t have any photos of them when they are puppies because those are all on my old Motorola phone and I can’t figure out how to get them off 😢)

Now I also happened to want a cat. And for another three years I begged my parents. They always said no or I’d have to wait until I moved out. I kept trying of course

One night my brother shows up from spending the day out with his friends and he’s carrying this huge cardboard box, and he goes, “hey ma look what I found can I keep it?”. And we look in the box and there’s this tiny kitten that’s maybe just opened it’s eyes a week or two before, and is mangy and skin and bones and flea ridden and just this utterly pathetic creature that I immediately fell in love with.

😍

Kitty’s mama got hit by a car and left three babies under a house. My brother and two of his friends each took one home with them because they were so little if they stayed out much longer they would die.

So we’re begging Mom to keep her (we thought it was a girl at first) and mum’s saying no, no, no...and then she’s saying, well, she can stay the night and we’ll take her to the vet tomorrow and they’ll find her a home.

😏

I decide that night we’re gonna call the kitten Zeta (because I know mom’s gonna cave and kitty needs a Z name so she can fit in with her doggo brother and sister)

Next morning I wake up and mom’s been and gone to the vet, and by the way, we have a new cat and HIS name is Zeus (which she came up with in the spot only because at the back of her head we had to keep going with the Z names lol)

He’s totally king of the house so I start calling him Zeus-el-Ra for whatever reason and it ends up sticking when we’re not calling him “you fucker!” when he’s being a little shit.

This is him after a week or so of good food and de-worming and stuff:

So about a year passes and we’re pretty happy with our family. I’d love to have more pets (I have an aunt that lives in New Zealand and has like 16 cats and I have absolutely no issue emulating that lol) but I’ve accepted we’ve got a good thing going and so I don’t bug my mom about it anymore.

Now she started a new job in Ottawa and she loved working there but couldn’t stand the people. Scum of the universe worked there, apparently their behaviour made the drana of Grey’s Anatomy look tame. And there was this woman working there that was a micromanaging biotch functional moron who basically only had a job because she wad screwing the boss.

Anyway this woman mentions to my mom that her 1 year old cat got out of the house and came back pregnant. She doesn’t want the kittens so she’s planning to drown them after the cat gives birth and then neuter the cat.

🤬

Yeah, I know. Stellar example of a human being, right?

So my mom says fuck that noise, I’ll take them. And the woman is like but you don’t even know how many there will be and my mom says I don’t care I want them.

By some miracle the woman made a decent decision and agreed.

So time passes, cat gives birth to three kittens but only two of them survive, and almost the minute that the vet says they can be away from their mama, the woman brings them to my mum and she brings them home to us.

Obviously these cats must have a Z name. Mom wanted to call the runt if the litter L’il Zee, but that got too confusing with Zeke so we decided to call him Zed. And because the other cat looked like he was dressed up in black, we called him Zorro.

And here’s a better idea of how small they were:

And that is the story of the acquisition of the Z Family :)

[keelymewett]

Zombie Movie: I Am Legend (2007)

“Here’s Karen at the health desk.”

Karen from the health desk. (Picture: A female news anchor, Karen from the health desk.)

Language warning (sorry kids, but this is an MA15+ movie). 

I shit you not, that’s one of the opening quotes of the movies. So, friends and enemies, welcome to the longest review I’ve done of a zombie movie yet. It’s 1:35am here in Australia and I’ve just finished rewatching I Am Legend, everything’s fresh in my mind and I’m hyped up on chocolate. 

This movie has incredible tension, a fresh take on the zombie apocalypse, and it’s based on the 1954 novel by Richard Matherson, which inspired the modern day vampire and zombie movies. Why you may ask? Because it popularised the concept of a worldwide apocalypse due to a disease... now I’m beginning to realise that watching zombie movies during a global pandemic maybe wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had. Any who. 

YouTube rewind made me forget how bloody good of an actor Will Smith is, and boy does he deliver in this movie. Robert’s (that his character, btw, though I will probably end up just referring to the character as Will Smith) interactions with Sam the goodest girl in the world (she’s a dog) and the mannequins is incredible.

The goodest girl in the world. (Picture: A dog (I’m sorry - I don’t know dog breeds! I’m 99% sure she’s a German Shepard) being given a bath and head scratches by Will Smith.)

Now: three things to look forward to in this “review” (assuming you read the spoilery section below). One: how realistic is this apocalypse? Two: there’s a dog. Three: zombie vampires. Vampire zombies? 

Backgrounds details! (Picture: Will Smith opened the fridge. On the fridge door are photos of his wife and daughter, a calendar dated for December, a drawing with “Marley” written in kids handwriting, post-it notes, a pamphlet with the heading “Quarantine”, and a Time Magazine cover of Robert Neville (Will Smith). The title reads (heading) “Saviour?” (sub-heading) “Soldier, Scientist” (body of text) “In a Battle that Could Save Thousands of Lives, Lt. Col. Robert Neville Takes on the XV Virus.”

Also, there’s banging in my house at the moment and when I say I’m peaking. I’m going to need to listen to some music while I write this.

Read on for a fun time! Spoilers ahoy!

Realism (the really relevant part. Yikes)

Okay, so what’s this fresh take on the apocalypse? Basically, this doctor cures cancer and it all goes to shit from there. I’m not 100% on the logistical jump from “destroying cancer cells” to “humans (and animals) becoming bloodthirsty mutants that burn in the sun” - for instance, this is just my sci-fi high-school biology and physics brain working here, cancer is basically a rogue cell that mutates other cells and destroys them in the process, yeah? So if the doctor, like she said, uses these cancer cells to work for the body and in the process “cures” cancer, wouldn’t the humans just... infect each other and the virus would kill the host if it went south? Given, that did happen in like 90% of cases as Will Smith explains, but where does the sunlight allergy come in? Is cancer afraid of UV? Confused, but I digress. 

... Is that my queen, Missy, from Umbrella Academy? (Picture: A woman with blood leaking from her eyes, holding a child and shouting for help.)

The scene where they’re listening to the radio and the guy is like we’re “issuing a military quarantine of New York City” I’m like bitch you wish. Unrealistic. The USA currently (9/10/2020) has the highest cases of COVID-19 in the world (for future historians and poor school children, it’s at 7.68 MILLION cases, no statistic for recovered cases for some weird ass reason, and sadly, 212,000 deaths. For reference, here in Australia we’ve had as of today 27,206 cases, 24,807 recovered and 897 deaths. New Zealand, who went into hard lockdown, had as of today, 1,864 cases, 1,800 recovered, and 25 deaths, with a period where there were 0 new cases for several days.)

Though, with that in mind, everyone going outside and gathering in large crowds? Realistic. 

The actual movie part

Praises time! Will Smith has a stockpile of food. Also, him getting Sam (the dog) to eat her vegetables like she’s a little kid? Cutest thing ever. 

Stockpilesss. (Picture: Will Smith wearing an apron and preparing a meal in a kitchen chock full of food items, including things like Pringles and spaghetti sauce.)

Setting alarms on his watch for sunset? Brilliant, smart idea, fantastic. Re-enforced windows and door, AND booby-trapped house? Incredible, genius. Setting traps to catch the zomvamps? (like the dumb name I just came up with? Don’t worry, I’ll reveal the stupid arbitrary name they ACTUALLY came up with later) Talent, intelligence. 

Dude, why wouldn’t you restrain the head/chest? You know, the part that can bite you? (Picture: Will Smith in a lab coat standing over a female zombie-vampire who’s been secured to a metal bench by the wrists and ankles. Medical monitors are connected to her.)

Now, Will Smith is out here looking for a cure. And by looking, I mean actively creating. In a lab. He washes his hands before going in - *chef’s kiss* follow his example - and unlike other zombie movies where it’s super dramatic in the hunt for a cure, this is a lot more chill considering it’s a) been 3 years and b) is more like how science actually works. Trials, tests, animal test-subjects (there is a debate about the ethics of this which I won’t go into here) (I mean a debate in real life not in the zombie movie haha) and human test-subjects. 

“Did you kidnap my girlfriend, bro?” (Picture: bald, pale muscular dude-bro-looking zombie-vampire roaring in rage.)

The mother-fracking zombies

I have to say it: these are the most dumbass looking vampire-zombies. I say vampire-zombies (zomvamps) because they avoid sunlight but also eat people? 

Now, unlike most zombie movies, these are really bloody intelligent zomvamps. At one point, after setting a booby trap and catching a zomvamp after stumbling into a nest of them, Robert says “They’re not showing any human social behaviour.” Hahahaha. Okay bitch first of all dude bro screamed when you kidnapped his mate, secondly dude bro has pet dogs, thirdly dude bro fucking caught you in a trap. He took revenge on you there, love. He followed you home!

The zomvamps are apex predators, can climb, run, hunt in packs, communicate with each other, set booby traps, make coordinated attacks, follow you home, learn where you live and remember it, and holy fuck humans had no chance. 

Thank you for clarifying, because I actually found this quite funny. Like, look at him! (Picture: dude-bro zombie-vampire from earlier growling in front of a flaming car. The zombie-vampires are very CGI, pale, fish-person looking things with pale skin and completely bald of hair. This guy is wearing ripped clothes. The caption reads “Growls menacingly”.)

Random things I have in my notes but haven’t mentioned yet (yes I took notes) 

What’s with the apocalypse and mannequins? Looking at you, Five (Umbrella Academy). 

(Picture: Will Smith looking at a “female” mannequin, who is dressed in a coat and black bob wig. They’re in a movie store. Funnily enough, behind the mannequin is the “Adult” section of the films.)

I agree with the fuck-that-shit sentiment when you see a mannequin suddenly appear in a different part of the city - like how in the hell?? 

(Picture: Will Smith aiming a rifle at a mannequin in an orange jumper. Mannequin is usually located outside of the movie store, yet here it is randomly in the middle of the street at the end of a T-section. There are tall glass windows behind the mannequin, and the window to the right has a giant, gaping pitch black hole in it. It’s presumed that there is a nest of zombie-vampires in there.)

... so is this a booby trap for humans or for zomvamps? Because the former makes sense if that dude bro zomvamp analysed Will Smith’s trap from earlier and remade it (hence dropped the car off a bridge to string him up), and the latter doesn’t really make sense because a) you’ll only catch (and probably kill) one zomvamp and why would you want only one unless you’re Robert and two why tf aren’t you meeting up with Robert he’s been broadcasting and racing around town hunting deer (elk?) in a sports car. 

I’d like to know how hard it actually is to do like a weird sit-up and get yourself free of one of these kinds of traps. Am I dumb for thinking it’s not that hard? (Picture: Will Smith is suspended in the air by a rope tied around his ankle, the result of a booby-trap. He’s struggling to free himself.)

Come on, you’re literally a doctor and a soldier. Don’t tell me you’re actually considering pulling that out? (Picture: Will Smith has been impaled in the leg by something. It looks like he’s about to attempt to pull it out. He’s in the middle of the street as the sun sets, and Sam is right next to him.)

Sam is a queen. Here are some photos of her.

(Picture: Robert Neville’s wife carrying a baby Sam - Sam is a puppy, by the way, and very adorable. Neville’s young daughter is walking out of the gate to their house behind her mother.)

(Picture: Will Smith in a flashback saying goodbye to his wife and daughter and crying. Sam is licking away his tears.)

Sometimes I hate foreshadowing. (Picture: Will Smith searching a house. He opens a cupboard and there’s a newspaper article with a picture of a zombie-vampire dog. The article reads “Infected dogs can come out at dusk. Stay in the light.” There’s a number to call for questions.)

Worst birthday ever. Now I’m sad and there’s still half the movie left. 

(Picture: Will Smith sitting on the floor of his lab, hugging Sam, who’s just been bitten by infected dogs.) 

Get Shrek’d.

(Picture: The ‘Shrek’ movie playing on the TV in Neville’s house.)

Ma’am, do you not know how to ration? That is such a waste of food. (Picture: the woman and kid who rescued Will Smith have cooked breakfast. She’s cooked way too many scrambled eggs for two adults and a kid, and all the of the bacon for literally no reason.)

Oh yeah, wanna know what they call the zombies in this movie? 

Dark Seekers. They dropped that one on us well into the final half of the movie. Dark Seekers? Really? I won’t get into how dumb that sounds when you had two options to choose from - vampires and zombies. Hell, go with my suggestion of zomvamps, even vampzoms. Dark Seekers? Sorry, I get hung up on dumb zombie-alternative names. Sure, I get the atmosphere might be ruined by calling them vampires or zombies, but not even lying I didn’t realise she said “Dark Seekers” until I turned the CC on to grab a quote. I thought she said “Dog Keepers” hahahaha. “The dog keepers got them.” My defence is that the dude bro did keep dogs. 

Finally, wrapping this up at 2:15 before I add in pictures, you’re telling me approximately 100 zomvamps made a coordinated attack on Will Smith’s house to eat... 3 people? That’s like me and a hundred mates descending on the pentagon for a fucking snickers bar. We’d get like an atom each. 

Oh, what’s that? They’re here to rescue one person? Really? Really? How in the fuck are they even zombies if their primary purpose isn’t to eat humans. I’m disappointed. But points for a fresh take, at least. 

Now one of the things I remember about this movie is that is has an alternate ending. The actual ending (huge spoilers but then again, you’re in the spoiler section) has Will Smith sacrifice himself (read: blow himself and the zomvamps up with a grenade) to defend the cure and save his new friends. The alternate ending, which was scrapped due to negative audience reaction, has Will Smith communicate with the zomvamps who like actually calm down and listen to him. He gives the dude bro back his friend, and... no one dies. 

I’m sorry, how is an ending where, sure, a cure isn’t found YET, but, the “villains” of the movie are humanised and a new side of them is seen that shows, hey, maybe there’s another way through this apocalypse, better than an ending where Will Smith dies? Make it make sense test audience. Because, remember, there’s still a whole bunch of immune people living out here, and three of them are currently in the same room. Robert’s only been working on the cure for 3 years. How many years do you reckon it takes to cure cancer? Hint: it’s ongoing in real life. Just because the cure isn’t found in the movie doesn’t mean it won’t be found. Ughhhh. I digress again. 

I have more random photos but I am very tired. If anyone’s interested in hearing me roast butterflies, the world not actually ending in 2012, and a missed pun about Until Dawn (even though it was made like ten years after this), and a quick analysis on Robert Neville and God, let me know :) 

Have a great day everyone, wash your hands, social distance if possible, and quarantine. Just because the COVID-19 virus isn’t turning us into zombies doesn’t mean it isn’t hurting us. 

Worldwide statistics, 9/10/2020: 36.2M total cases, 25.3M recovered, 1.06M deaths. 

(Picture: Will Smith saying “I like ‘Shrek’ after just quoting an entire scene of it to win a kid’s trust.)

[migstheruler]

PLaystation 5 Event

initially great, despite the horrible pre-orders ordeal.

On Sept. 16, 2020, Sony pulled back the curtain on another slew of details regarding the PS5.

1.       The PlayStation 5 releases on November 12th, 2020 in Japan, Mexico, Australia, New Zealand, South Korea, and the United States (why these states, only Sony knows even though I think it’s because of their distinct market in each of these countries).

2.       The PlayStation 5 releases everywhere else on November 19, 2020.

3.       The PlayStation 5 launches at $399.99 for the digital edition and $499.99 for the disc-based edition.

*IF backward compatibility with the PS4 is important to you, I’d recommend the disc-based PS5. Sony execs have confirmed 99% of PS4 games are compatible with their new Flagship console.

   The event also gave us a look into some new games coming to the PS5 for launch as well as games we can expect during the first year of the PlayStation 5’s life cycle. Honestly tho, I think some of those games indicating they were launching during 2021 is a lie. You mean to tell me you’re going to launch Horizon, God of War 2, Final Fantasy 16 all in one year…..really… If these games were dique going to launch in 2021, you would think they would have had at least a working demo or something, instead of a teaser trailer with the games logo…but I digress, I’ll touch on this later.

 Below are a few games showed that caught my eye and I just had to write about them.

Overall, Sony’s PS5 presentation was a good one, with all the information we as consumers were asking for since June and 10/10 would watch again (I’ve seen the presentation 4 times already (twice to write this piece 😊)).  

The presentations started with a trailer showing a slew of different games coming to the PlayStation five system, most games we covered in https://migstheruler.com/post/620830163010240512/ps5-reveal-event but just when you thought this was another trailer, boom!!!

Final Fantasy 16

A nice mix of old and new: as if the folks from Final Fantasy 11 and 12 made a 15 esque type game.

Shiva the ice goddess is back, and looking deadlier than ever throwing out chilly ice crystals sure to cause anyone level seven frostbite

Who´s a good boy? This little pup looks ready to be pet and given treats.

 It looks like our trusty steeds the Chocobos are back, hopefully, they are more useful this time around )I’m looking at you final fantasy seven episode one)

Marlboros are looking as menacing as ever.

 Final Fantasy 16 was pretty unexpected to be honest, especially given final fantasy seven episodes one releasing a few months ago. However, it’s a nice surprise to see Square Soft jk Square Enix working on a new Final Fantasy game, especially one that likes to expand upon the action RPG elements (Think kingdom hearts series or final fantasy 15 and even 7).  Aesthetically, this is giving me hardcore fantasy elements with realism thrown in there.

Either way, what a great way to start off the presentation.

  Spiderman Miles Morales:

Next up, Sony gives us a seven-minute look into Spiderman Miles Morales, which expands upon 2018’s PS4 Spiderman. Sony has said this is not a direct sequel but instead a look to further expand upon the world through the eyes of Miles Morales. The graphics and presentation of this game are sure to entice any spiderman man. The lighting coupled with Mile’s powers makes this game a visual PS5 treat.

 Last time we saw Miles, he had just shown Peter Parker he too had powers to which Peter Parker joined him upon the ceiling, it was a bonding moment the two spider-men would have. Fast forward maybe a year (I’m not sure how much time has passed since the last spiderman game) we are thrusted into the shoes of Miles Morales.

  “Mom I’m home” Can we take a moment to appreciate my man’s line up here, dam that shit looks crispy.

Walking through Harlem, music playing, and folks dancing Salsa in the street. I’m not going to lie, this made me cheese from ear to ear.

This is what I expect to encounter when I have to mediate between clients ready to rip each other apart in a gory fashion (above).  

 Okay, knowing how strong spiderman is, I fully expect the dude’s Jaw to be broken after this power punch.

I forgot to mention (above) Miles can turn Invisible and has access to electric powers (below) sure to spruce up and affect the way Miles plays. I can only imagine a focus less on gadgets and more of an emphasis on Miles’ powers.

Although I know this game stars a new spiderman aka Miles Morales, the developers sure are making sure we know  we’re not playing with Peter Parker anymore.

“Insert obligatory spiderman being pulled from different directions trope here” I’m not even going to front; this image is pretty cool.

Lastly, how dope is this launch title? It is one of the first games I plan to beat on my PS5.

-          I do want to say one thing regarding this title. I think it’s pretty great from a representation perspective to see a Black and Puerto Rican spiderman. Representation matters. I’m not Puerto Rican but am Latino and I do appreciate the flags littered throughout the trailer, folks dancing salsa and overall, Miles Morales as a character.

One gripe I have with this game unfortunately is Sony’s anti-consumer stance regarding those that purchased 2018’s Spiderman. Folks that purchase the Deluxe Spiderman Miles Morales edition for $79.99 get both Spiderman Miles Morales and a supped-up version of 2018’s spiderman for the PS5, yet Sony hasn’t extended an olive branch to those of us that supported their 2018 game (even making it one of their best sellers). IF you want to play Spiderman Miles Morales, you can cop it for a cool $49.99 which is dope but doesn’t include any type of upgrade for those of us with the PS4 version of spiderman. Honestly, as someone that doesn’t plan on playing the game again but it’s pretty anti-consumer to not even offer some type of benefit to those PS4 supporters. Here’s to hoping they offer some type of upgrade via a patch to the PS4 spiderman.

·       Turns out the game will run natively better on the PS5 given the consoles superior power but for a truly next gen 2018 Spiderman experience, you gotta pay those $69.99 duckats.  

   Looks Like we’re going back to Hogwarts and I’m not talking about Fantastic Beasts or Harry Potter. We received our first look (aside from the leak that was released last year). In Hogwarts Legacy, we go back to the late 1800s to visit the Wizards of the Waverly place (I think I said this right, I’ve only seen the Harry Potter movies once all the way through). Either way, it looks like they managed to capture the magic of Hogwatz. The walls of Hogwarts look alive, books flying all over the place and magic spewing from cauldrons of unknown potions.

 Our journey begins going back to Hogwarts with a cool looking Owl to boot.    

 The sorting hat is back babi, it seems like this is a create your own character adventure, where we as the player will get to customize our very own character, sure to get into whatever wizardly fun is to be found.  Team Slytherin all day!! JK, I’m team Gryffindor babi. But really tho, I have no idea what school I’d be assigned too.

  In both of these pictures, its quite remarkable the little details you see; the more you look, the more you see. Did you see the candles above, or the candlelight below

Looks like our boys are cooking up work in the kitchen aka cauldron. I’d also like to bring attention to the lighting, truly impressive.  Time to eat some delicious grub with my fellow wizards!! (Below)

 Looks like we’ll be facing a litany of different monsters and foes. I know with my Avada Kedavra, I’ll be blasting fools like the one below away.

 Dam son, we fighting Dragons out here too, sheesh.

Looks like combat will be a big portion of gameplay as the video showed of a created character fighting some pretty large beasts.

Looks like we’ll be playing quidditch in this game, and I honestly can’t wait.

I sure do hope we’re able to feed these little cuties and pet them.

Looks like this game is open world, as the characters are seen flying on Griffins across the vista. They draw distances in this game are spectacular.

Hogwarts Legacy launches in 2021.

 *JK Rowling has no involvement with this game and that’s a good thing given her recent problematic statements.

  Demon Souls

Full disclosure, I bought demon souls for the PS3 back in the day but unfortunately, did not stick with the game. It was fun and I would proceed to play other From Software and souls genre games in the future such as Sekiro, Bloodborne and Nioh to name a few. But here we have Bluepoint games remaking the PS3 Cult Classic and precursor to the Souls Genre. I for one am super excited to jump back in and try my hand again at Demon Souls.

 This place here is the game’s main hub that allows you to access other portions of the world map. IT’s nice to see it in all it’s HD Glory.

Our Player is borne anew: Rise from your grave!!! JK, this isn’t a Sega title.

The environments look super luscious and literal indistinguishable from concept art. The leaves, lighting, and armor are truly a beautiful sight to see.  (Below) 

Nothing like chilling by a bonfire, although if you’re new to the genre, every time you heal at these bon fires, all the enemies you spent tirelessly fighting repopulate.

Call me crazy but in the original, players from other games could leave each other messages written in blood, as a way to help each other out. It looks like this concept is making a comeback this time around.  

 Dragons are so hot right now…. (insert Zoolander Gif here)

If you have ever played a souls game, you know this is something you can expect to see even in your dreams. I remember going to bed thinking how an enemy boss had beaten me 13-times in a row, only to go to bed thinking and imaging different strategies on how I could kill the foe standing between me and the game's progress.

The gameplay looks faster than the original but the difficult elements remain prevalent. The player is seen mowing down enemies which seems a bit off given the extreme difficulty of the PS3 game. But this could be Bluepoint addressing the sometimes-outrageous difficulty by making it more appealing to casuals.

Launch Title!!!!

 God of War Ragnarök:

Last time we saw our heroes, Kratos and Atreus were shacked up in their home when they receive a visit from a mysterious visitor brandishing what looks like Mjolnir on his waist.  The game ended in a great cliff hanger and is sure to improve on the many aspects the PS4 game

Get the fuck out of here. Sony decided to drop a nuclear ton warhead on us with the teaser trailer of God of War Ragnarok, a sequel to the PS4’s God of War.  Although they did not show any game play, they did manage to build the hype with the screen below:  

And then to top off the trailer the list the following with a supposed 2021 release date which I think is highly unlikely but, we will see. Either way, “we must prepare”.

   Sadly, when the presentation ended, pre-orders went live . We were told by Sony that we would have ample time to prepare to pre-order, nothing but the contrary occured. I was one of the unlucky folks who failed to obtain his PS5 preorder despite having the funds to do so. Here’s to hoping I’m able to secure a pre-order prior to the Nov 12 launch. I did manage to get a PS5 camera which is a must for me since I like to stream games online, it’s really quite addicting. Check out my channel at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiazQqSufhmIGo2a7odLOpQ?view_as=subscriber.

I do want to say one thing, I am very fortunate to have the things i’ve accumulated over the years. I know there are people in the world that lack even basic necessities. If you’re reading this, please donate to  cause/fund or organization you beleive in. I know my life’s work is to improve the living conditions of everyone regardless of their creed and that keeps me plenty busy.  

  All images used in this piece were obtained from the source below: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG0G44G6RI8

Credit: IGN 

[tanukihunt]

Countries Away Prologue

((This is a countryhumans au fanfic I write in my quotev. Follow me at @SweetLittleBumblebeeTFP on there. Here the link. https://www.quotev.com/SweetLittleBumblebeeTFP

Okay, here the summary-

Amos Janesville is an older brother of 4. As a bisexual male, he's often bullied. His only friends are those like him. So when he gets a flag of the United States of America painted on him, his life drastically changes in more ways than one.

And now here the story))

All I need is a little love in my life

All I need is a little love in the dark

A little but I'm hoping it might kickstart

Me and my broken heart

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

     "Up and over!" Amos Janesville watched as his brother Candon use his skateboard to perform a trick. He landed a 180 and the board rolled on the ramp, with his foot slightly dragging. “How’d I do Amos?” Candon asked, one hand on his hip and the other picking up his new high-speed skateboard. Amos smiled.

     "You did great, Candy!" He said, clapping. "Y'know, I got worried when you got the thing, but you're awesome at it! Now I need to find my perk." Candon laughed.

     "Amos, you don't need a perk! You're already awesome!" He said, flipping the board into the air and catching it. "I mean, sure, Zeke has his music, and Austin has his reptiles, but you're you!" Amos chuckled. The twins - while a minute apart - were nothing like each other. Austin was an outdoorsman and Zeke was a natural song writer and singer. Even Amos couldn't match up to them.

      "Oh yeah? What do I have that you guys don't?" Amos asked Candon.

     "You're gay. That's something." Candon offered after thinking about it. His brother cupped one hand on the bridge of his nose and inhaled in a dramatic fashion.

       “First off I’m bi, there’s a difference dear brother of mine,” Amos retorted, crossing his arms. “Second of all sexuality has nothing to do with this! I’m talking about any talents I might have,” Candon made an 'o' with his mouth and nodded.

       "Well, you can... fight! I've seen you duke it out against Russel!" Russell Sovienda, a Russian boy in Amos's sparring class and also his rival, was also known for being the brother of Candon's crush, Ukiah. Amos smirked.

      "Okay, maybe I can. But you guys can too!" He said.

     ”Maybe I can, maybe I can’t brother,” Candon told him, shrugging his shoulders. “Anyway we should probably get to class, we don’t want to worry Jackie by being late,” - Jackie Kiastu, the new Japanese transfer student to Burreling High School, immediately became friends with the brothers. Her stylish looks and all around cute hair made her a little popular too.

       ”Yeah, you’re right Candy. Don’t want her to freak out,” Amos replied, picking up his backpack and started heading across the street from the skate park.

       "I wonder if Spencer will be at school this time. He's always missing class." Spencer Española, one of Amos's childhood friends, was a kid with problems. He missed school and barely showed. Even the Janesville brothers didn't know where he was. Zeke thought that he was probably being held hostage by his dad, but there were doubts.

        "You wonder about Spencer. I'll think about her." Amos smiled as his mind drifted off to the Filipino girl, Philippa Maharlika. Philippa's full name was Philippines, but she went by Philippa. Her sharpie tattoos and badass attitude were what drew Amos to her. Candon snickered.

        "Y'know, maybe if you actually asked her out, maybe you could snag her." He teased. Amos cheeks dusted to an almost fully light red color, he tugged his brother’s ponytail gently.

       “Do you think she’d actually say yes?” He asked as they neared the school.

        "Bro, I know that'd she'd say yes! You're the coolest guy around. And let's not forget who saved her from being attacked by Spencer's dad." Candon smiled, looking towards the large building, then stopping.

         "Candon, what's up?" Amos asked, looking in the same direction. He froze. A group of kids were being herded to a certain spot of the courtyard. The brothers exchanged glances, and neared the spot.

            "AMOS! CANDON!" Amos and Candon whipped their heads toward the crowd. When they felt a pair of hands shove them over to the crowd, both brothers froze. As they arrived they heard an all too familiar word ring inside their ears; Belle and Russel were standing in the middle of the circle as was Spencer and Jackie. “We have another pair before the fight begins,” - It was a cool and clear as daylight, Gesper seemed to be the cause of the issue.

        “What the hell are you doing?” Amos asked the German teen. Though he kept his lips sealed and pushed the brothers in the rest of the way.

        "Oh shit..." Candon said. "Amos-" Amos stopped his brother there.

       "Don't worry, Candon, I'm a pro at this." He made his fists and the fight began. Russel ran to Amos, tackling him. "OOF-"

          "Nowhere to hide, Amos!" He said in a thick Russian accent. Amos grunts and shoved him off.

         "No where to run, Russ." He turned to Candon. "Okay, you deal with Spence and Jackie. I got Russel and Belle." Candon nodded and ran forward to them, throwing punches here and there. Amos turned his attention on Russel, who sucker punched him in the face. Amos threw them back. By the time it was first period, the students were sore and aching. Spencer put his hands on his back and cracked it.

        "Mierda. Who knew we'd be doing a fucking fight? Never thought Gesper would do that." He commented as his back emitted a loud crack. Before he could respond, Amos was tackled.

          "YOU'RE ALIVE!" The voice that Amos knew as his brother Zeke said. How he managed to get to the high school was a mystery, since he and Austin were middle schoolers. But as he studied his brother he noticed something off. His face was different.... the New Zealand's flag was on his face. The paint had dried, and it felt rough like their cat: Wendy’s fur.

        “Candon come see this. I have no idea what to make of it,”  Candon looked at Zeke's face.

         "What happened, Zeke?" Zeke shrugged.

         "Some guy grabbed Aus and I and painted our faces like this. Told us to not wash it off.  Kinda weird if you ask me. Austin got Australia." He explained, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Kinda weird if you asked me." Amos sighed.

           "The hell? Why would someone do that?" Jackie asked. Zeke shrugged again.

          "Dunno, but Aus and I weren't the only ones - a couple of girls named Indiana Kakai, Mallory Itu, and Brittany Miller got picked too. Indiana got Indonesia, Mallory got Malaysia, and Brittany got Britan. Philippa also got one - Philippines." He counted off. Amos blanched.

          "Philippines? Is she okay-" Zeke raised a hand.

          "She's fine. Protective much?" He asked him.

         Amos groaned and covered his face, hiding the new shades of pink dusting it. “Let’s not talk about it right now,” He told Zeke, grabbing the older twin’s shoulders. “Especially not in front of Gesper and his annoying crew,”

          "Just head back home and we’ll see you there. Alright?” Candon spoke.

          Zeke nodded and picked up his things before charging out of the high school gates. “See you then!”

          He let out a sigh of relief and slung his arm around Candon’s shoulders. “We really have to go to class, can’t have mom finding out,”

           ”If you say so..,”

[isthisthingeven0n]

missing you : d.d

thank you to the anon who requested this, I hope this is along the lines of what you were after.  not exactly sure how long I’ll be writing on this blog for, but I’m enjoying it for the mean time. i kinda struggle with ‘short and sweet’ after finishing a fucking novel (its a long story)  anyhow, if you have a request or something you would like me to write, feel free to drop me an ask or a message :)

brief summary: david learnt trisha’s cousin was coming to visit, yet you weren’t what anyone had anticipated arriving in their lives 

When Jason told us Trishas cousin was coming to visit, Y/n was the last thing I was expecting.

At first, we all thought she was lost. That she got the wrong address or the wrong Trisha. And then wondered if she was adopted at some point as no one could fathom how she and Trisha were family.

Trisha was loud, overly honest and bold. Y/n was a bit more reserved, low-key and didn’t bother much with being ‘on’ all the time.

Sometimes she’d come around with Jason when she was bored and we’d all just chill. Then, once I was sure she was comfortable enough with the idea, she became a frequent member of the vlogs.

Yet, like every good thing, it came to an untimely end. Y/n was only staying for three months before travelling, and when she was vacant from the vlogs all I saw on social media was comments and questions.

‘Where did Y/n go?’

‘Did Jason and Trisha break up again?’

‘We want more wholesome Y/n and David content again.’

They were all along the same lines, and I couldn’t deny I missed having her around. She was a newer addition to the group, but she blended in within days. Everyone made jokes with her, made videos and I watched as Todd tried to flirt with her. 

Closing my mac after finishing editing I wander into the living room where Jason and Trisha are cuddling. “Hey, it’s the main man!” Jason slurs, and Trisha bursts into hysterics. 

I roll my eyes, wishing my camera was charged. Guess Snapchat will have to do. “Guys,” I laugh into my screen as I watch the two of them roll around on the sofa, Trisha barely able to keep her hands off of Jason. “Jason and Trisha just got in from dinner and they’re pissed.” 

Turning the camera around I can’t stop a laugh escaping my mouth. “You know David,” Trisha slowly sits up, trying to look at me seriously but struggles as she holds onto Jason. “you and Y/n were the cutest.” She giggles and Jason grunts, moving her aside. 

“Yeah man, she talked about you a lot on the way to the airport.” He clears his throat, and I quickly cut recording. My phone now in my back pocket as I perch on the edge of the sofa. 

“Well, she was my friend. We got on super well.” I shrug it off, knowing thinking about her is useless at this point. She’s in New Zealand, and then she’ll be in Japan, followed by Russia and so on. “She’s having the time of her life from the looks of things.” 

“Wait,” Trisha suddenly snapped out of her flirty, giddy state. “you guys haven’t talked?” I slowly shake my head, unsure what else to say. “She came home. Couldn’t hack it.” She says it as if it’s nothing. 

That she hasn’t given up on something she wanted to do for so long.  Something she talked to me about leading up to her leaving as she showed me all the places she wanted to see. Everything she could’ve done, but she came home? 

“Why?” Concern takes over my unphased attitude. “I mean, is she okay?” 

Trisha rolls her eyes. “She got lonely. Say’s she ‘didn’t expect to see so much and realise she was so alone.’ Some shit like that I think.” 

I stand up, and Jason smiles to Trisha. “You going to see her, Dave?” He and Trisha share a look as if they know something I am oblivious to. 

“What?” I ask, and Trisha stands up uneasily. 

“Well well well.” She giggles as she lightly pokes my chest. “Y/n is back, and is staying with me for a while.” I look over to Jason, who half smiles. “And, we can’t help but notice the looks you give her, and how she talks about you when you aren’t in the room.” 

Heat rises through my veins towards my cheeks, but I try to suppress it. “So? She’s my friend.” I state, attempting to tell myself that more than them. “It’s not like she would like me back or anything anyway.” I mumble, but despite Jason's shitty hearing, he stands up and pats my shoulder. 

Before I know it I’m in my car, driving the three of us to Trisha’s to surprise Y/n with, well me. “I still think this is dumb.” I state, and Trisha slaps my arm. 

“No, fuck you, David, this is romantic!” She whines and looks to Jason for back up who merely nods. 

*

As we pull up Trisha gets her camera out, documenting this as she goes in first. 

“What am I doing Jason?” I turn to ask him, and he shakes his head.

“I really have no fucking idea. I mean, with Trish I usually just go with a lot of things. But this might actually work out better than most of the things I consent to with her.” He half-jokes as he climbs out of the car, leaving me gripping onto the steering wheel as my knuckles turn white. 

I follow behind Jason, and then I hear her. “David?” Her voice picks up, and then I see her running towards me. 

Her arms are wrapped around me in an instant. The sweet smell of her hair, the warmth that radiates from her onto me. I hug her back, and I can’t help but pick her up and spin her around. 

It’s the kinda shit you see in a film, and with Trisha yelling from the top of her drive, it sure does feel like it. 

“I thought you were gone for a year?” I ask as I let her go, and she lowers her head. 

A small dry laugh escapes her. “Yeah, so did I.” She shuffles her feet and begins to pick at her nails. “Being so far away on my own made me reflect a lot on what I left behind here.” 

Her eyes meet mine, and there’s something different this time. Maybe it’s just the poorly lit street, or my mind playing tricks. But she’s not just looking at me, she’s looking in to me. 

“And what did you leave behind? A toothbrush?” I uneasily joke, and she chuckles. 

I watch as her hand brushes along mine, and I observe her movements as her hand is in mine. Seeing them together, her hand in mine I feel like I’m observing this from above, an outside perspective. It doesn’t feel real. 

“Maybe a bit more than a toothbrush.” She jokes and leans towards me. 

Her other hand rests on my shoulder as she lightly kisses my lips. Just once. 

“Oh, a chapstick?” I don’t know what else to say. Humour is always a go-to resort. 

“You’re supposed to kiss her you douche!” Jason yells and we both look up at the two of them. “You’re literally ruining a perfect moment, fuck you guys I’m going inside.” 

We watch as he waves us off, and heads inside. Trisha shortly follows, yelling to Y/n some safe sex advice that should not be repeated. 

“Well, I guess-”

Before she says anything else I use this moment of isolation to hold her face in my hands and kiss her. For a split second she doesn’t react, and then she is kissing me back. 

It’s rough, it’s everything we should’ve said to each other before she left. 

“I fucking ship it!” Trisha screams causing us to stop. 

“Trisha let the kids have their moment,” Jason yells from inside, and then the moment is over as they argue for all the neighbourhood to hear. 

*

Watching the footage back, I can’t help but cringe. “We look so shit.” Y/n looks up at me as we lie in her bed. “But I guess that was when we became ‘official’ or something along those lines?” 

She leans into my chest as my arm rests around her, and I move the stray piece of hair that hangs in her face. “It was worth the wait.” I whisper as she snuggles into me, closing her eyes and mumbles three letters I’ve been waiting to hear since I told her the same the night I kissed her. 

[weremarkable]

Armie's interview that will set the tongues wagging

Can't believe they're not sharing pictures of Armie splayed across the bed! 😞

When I walk into Armie Hammer’s suite at New York’s Crosby Hotel, Hammer is splayed across the be. It’s the middle of the day on a Saturday, and Hammer is still fully dressed in a maroon sweater, black jeans, and sneakers. “I’m not going to be laying down here during the interview, I promise,” he says. “This is going to be like therapy — I’m going to lay down on the couch.” In one fluid motion, the six-foot-five actor peels himself off the bed and relocates to the couch, kicks up his feet, and smiles. “Can we talk about my deepest fears?” he deadpans.

We’re in his suite to talk about something similarly daunting: Hammer’s new movie, Hotel Mumbai, in which he plays a tourist on holiday in Mumbai with his wife (Nazanin Boniadi) and baby when a series of terrorist attacks begin to unfold across the city. Directed by Anthony Maras, the film is based on the real 2008 Mumbai terror attacks, and though many of the characters (including Hammer’s) are composites (rather than based on real victims), the film is a bleak, difficult watch. It’s also something of a departure for Hammer, who’s beloved in the public imagination for cavorting sexily through Italy with Timothée Chalamet.

So perhaps it’s appropriate that we’re talking about Hotel Mumbai in patient-therapist format. We also delve into some less-bleak subject matters: the status of Call Me by Your Name’s much-anticipated sequel, whether Hammer is going to play the Invisible Man or Batman, and why he’s suddenly gone quiet on social media.

Hotel Mumbai is a very dark, very violent film. Why take it?

The script was incredible. Brutal. It was just dripping with humanity. And I saw a few of Anthony’s short films, and he made a short film called The Palace that was so fucking intense that I literally had to pause it at one point and stand up and pace around the room. And be like, “What is he doing? Why is he doing this to me? This is a personal attack! I’m being attacked by this man and this direction!” And I thought, If he can do this in a short …

How were you able to get in and out of this really dark place on set?

I had no choice, really. You’re being pursued by men with guns, screaming at you in a language you don’t understand, running through smoke-filled corridors. It felt really firsthand. And also, it was a very serious set. And not just because the subject matter is so intense, but because we all couldn’t help but just feel and be reminded that people had really gone through this. And they didn’t have the luxury of yelling “Cut!” when things got too intense for them. It was really somber, and the way we dealt with that was to celebrate each other’s presence at night. We’d go to dinner and just sit and have meals and talk and just laugh and joke and have wine, and really try to enjoy life, knowing that these people didn’t have that opportunity. We were filming in a situation where the idea of life felt really fleeting, so we tried to make the best of it at night.

Was your family on set?

Elizabeth [Chambers, Hammer’s wife] was there. Harper [Hammer’s daughter] was there. Not on set on set, because there was a lot of gunfire and blood. Elizabeth was like, “Aah, I don’t want to do this.” And Harper is so young, I don’t want to subject her to that.

You’re subjected to some serious violence in this movie. Was it particularly upsetting for Elizabeth or your family to see you in this one?

The overall violence was more upsetting than [mine] specifically. Just feeling like you were in a first-person terror attack was really jarring. So it was about the bigger issue more than me — that this shit happens, and that fucking sucks. It just happened again [in New Zealand]. How about we just stop fucking shooting each other? Antiquated, extremist ideas. Xenophobic philosophies. Extremism, indoctrination. Enough. It’s so dumb.

You’ve been pretty politically outspoken on Instagram and Twitter, but lately you’ve gone quiet. What’s that about?

Healthy emotional boundaries.

When did you put those up?

Not soon enough. [Laughs.] It was fun for a while, the whole social media thing — “I can say whatever I want,” “Ooh, that got me in trouble,” “Oh, I can say this,” “Ooh, that got me in trouble, too.” It’s a dangerous dance partner. You might have a moment of fun dancing, and then it’s gonna stomp on your feet. I’m just like, I’m getting too old for this shit. I’m done.

Was there a specific moment where you were like, “I’m done”?

No, it was kind of gradual. It was a generalized thing, built up of specific moments.

Like when you were fighting with Jeffrey Dean Morgan?

Yeah. Part of me was like, “Oh, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, really, lashing out here? Methinks thou doth protest too much, my man! Do you feel guilty about posting a picture of you and Stan Lee after he died?” [Laughs.]

I heard a rumor someone lost a hand while filming Hotel Mumbai

No, the director lost a thumb! He stuck it into a fan by accident. In India, they don’t have the same safety precautions; they don’t have OSHA. He tried to move a fan that didn’t have a grate over it. His thumb went into it and it just went [makes the noise of a thumb being cut off by a fan]. It shot blood everywhere. And Dev [Patel] ended up finding the thumb on the floor; they ran on foot to a hospital. Tried to reattach it, and they couldn’t.

He has no thumb?

He’s got, like, half a thumb.

How long did it take to start filming again?

He was out for three days in the hospital, and finished directing the movie from a hospital gurney on set.

Holy shit, really?

Yeah, it was hilarious. This was toward the end of the movie.

I have to ask about the Call Me by Your Name sequel. It’s in my contract.

Is it really?

No, but we do care so much. So what’s the latest?

Timmy’s out! I’m not sure why. Timmy said the only way he’d do it is if they paid him $15 million. [Laughs.] No, the truth is, there have been really loose conversations about it, but at the end of the day — I’m sort of coming around to the idea that the first one was so special for everyone who made it, and so many people who watched it felt like it really touched them, or spoke to them. And it felt like a really perfect storm of so many things, that if we do make a second one, I think we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment. I don’t know that anything will match up to the first, you know?

The experience of filming it, or the movie itself?

Both.

Do Timmy and Luca feel that way, too?

I don’t know. I haven’t had that conversation with them explicitly. But I mean, look. If we end up with an incredible script, and Timmy’s in, and Luca’s in, I’d be an asshole to say no. But at the same time, I’m like, That was such a special thing, why don’t we just leave that alone?

That’s new, though, because you’ve said for a while now that you guys were saying it was definitely happening. What shifted for you?

I’m not sure that it was ever really definitely going to happen. People just seemed so excited about it that we were like, “Oh, yeah, fuck it! We’ll do it, sure!” [Turns to publicist.] Was it ever really like, real real

Publicist: I think it’s not real until it is.

Hammer: It’s not real until it is. And I won’t do it for less than, uh, $10 million! [Laughs loudly.]

So there’s no script or concrete plans.

No. I was talking to Luca, and he was like, “I think it might be fun to do this, or it might be fun to do this!” And I was like, “Those all sound like great ideas!” But that’s as real as it is right now. And I was joking about $10 million. I want $12 million.

Okay, I’ll make sure to write that down.

$12.5 million actually. Let’s go $12.5 million. Plus 10 percent commission for my agent. [Laughs.]

When was the last time you talked to Timmy and Luca?

Timmy and I texted yesterday. Luca, I talked to him the day of the Indie Spirit Awards.

The last time you spoke to Vulture, you did this great profile with Kyle Buchanan. And you spoke about how, in certain ways, you had fallen in love with Luca on set. When he read that profile, what was his response to it?

It didn’t really come up. But it was the thing we both felt. It’s not like he read it and was surprised. He was like, Aw, nice of you to say. I feel the same way. It’s a really intense process to make a movie in a foreign country. And when you do it with people you really resonate with, it forms a special bond.

I’m really excited about your upcoming remake of Rebecca. How are you going to make your version of Maxim de Winter different, Armie Hammer–ish?

Well, he’s going to look like me. It’s funny because we’re still really getting into it. There’s a new draft of the script coming up soon, and Ben [Wheatley] is such an amazing director and so collaborative that I feel like we’re going to come up with something really interesting and different than the Laurence Olivier version. With that being said, we haven’t started getting into it yet. It’s a couple months out; we’re filming this summer.

And what about these Invisible Man rumors?

I recently read those myself! What is the Invisible Man?

It’s part of Universal’s Dark Universe.

What is the Dark Universe?

They tried to build a franchise around their classic monsters, like Frankenstein.

Okay. I don’t know what that is. I’m not against it! So it’s a peripheral universe?

They had these big plans to create a universe, and it failed, and there are rumors they’re trying to restart it again … with you.

Shows you how much they’ve talked to me about it. I haven’t heard anything about it from anyone who makes actual decisions. I read about it online: “Armie Hammer might play the Invisible Man.” I was like, “Okay! Do I have to be in it?”

That’s true, because you’re invisible.

I know, that’s the thing! Voice-over job? That would be so easy. I would do that in a second.

You could literally phone it in.

I would literally phone it in!

Do you have a Google alert for yourself?

No, no, no. That’s part of the healthy emotional boundaries. I feel like a lot of the things on the internet, like Twitter, are largely populated by the people that go on Yelp and write one-star reviews just to be like, “Fuck that place!” I don’t want to take the brunt of that. I used to. Full disclosure, I used to have a Google alert for myself, and search myself on Twitter. It never gave me anything other than anxiety, so I was like, “Maybe it’s best to just not do this.” If you don’t Google yourself, and you don’t know about something, it doesn’t exist at all.

Though you did know about the Invisible Man.

I did. Because I get asked about that, and also about Batman: “Are you gonna do Batman?” I’m like, “No …” They’re like, “Are you gonna do the Invisible Man?” And I’m like, “Who is making these calls?! No!”

Which man will you be, Armie?

The bat or the invisible? But, no, neither.