#i want to lick her face
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the worst injury shepard received since the war ended
#drawlings#shakarian#brought to you by: tried to kiss my dog goodnight at the same time she decided she wanted to lick my face#and clocked me right in the nose with her hard little dog head#so i did this. and now i'm going to bed. i will not apologize for the quality
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his horns (finials) (idk)(ears)(whatever) shaking... the jumping ??? the struggling 😭 the off center twitching ..he is PISSED. AWF !!!!!!
#his defeat being planned makes this either hes playing up his rage bcs he definitely played up his defeat#or a mixture of playing up his rage and actually being a little pissed bcs he wanted to get more licks in but couldnt#anyways i cant take him sersiouly with those big ass ears#like an angry kitten trying to escape the burrito calm down blanket of doom#his helmet shape is so cute to me inearth spark it almost looks like a 80s mom hairstyle with the hair#cropping a symmetrical curve around her face or smthing#tbh if u are delusional enough all soundwaves are hot moms#i mean come on it's a given#except the animated one. he was freshly birthed. a little baby#megatron and optimus watching him freak like : 😦#optimus: so he served under you#megatron : oh Yes 😼..#meg: iMEAN yeah 😦#meg: i mean .. yes 😞..#need somebody to clip all soundwave appearances pls all seasons need it. NOWW!!!!!!!#at first i wasnt a big fan of his voice bcs i think when ppl try to harden that demonic voice underneath the autotune factor#which is rlly cool#they can kinda go too hard and it sounds almost too cartoony like a cartoon monster villain whos not calculated but vry primal#which goes against soundwaves whole cool calculated spy techno soundguy thing#but im warmed up to it now bcs it's a cute contrast like. u see this beautiful mech with magnificent curves & ure like omg hey hot mama#and then a voice from the 9th circle of hell growls at you like thats lowkey hilarious#dont mess with a bad bitch !!!!!! who just had a bad break up!!!!#he WILL kill u !!!!!!!!#soundwave#transformers#maccadam#tf#tf es#tf earthspark#arcee
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any of yall ever had an antagonistically flirtatious thing with a coworker before? because that’s the only dynamic I can imagine for Soap and officeassistant!reader
you see each other every day and he’s the bane of your existence. he gives you the ick, from his stupid hair to his stupid mouth to the stupid way he stands so tall above you. like he’s just one of those guys that just knows how handsome he is and he’s expecting you to fall at his feet like all the rest of them. utterly repulsive. and the way he torments you, it’s like he knows how much you hate him and he’s doing it on purpose just to get a rise out of you. he started this whole thing, really. you would’ve been happy to be a quiet hater, but he just had to instigate.
now every day is like a new exercise in how much of a bitch you can be to him, and you relish in it. it’s absolutely fucking delightful, like an outlet for all the anger you’ve been holding onto all of your life. he didn’t know there were so many different ways to be called an idiot, but you find a new creative way to do it nearly every day. why is he so obsessed with annoying you? maybe it’s enriching for his simple mind. if you ask him directly, he’ll say it’s because you’re like an annoying little sister. then he’ll try to grab you and lick your face, sending you running away gagging. he annoys you to no end. every opportunity that opens up to punch or slap him, you take. every opportunity to gross you out and make you make that scrunchy face, he takes. you two are a match made in hell. you even hate it even when he makes you laugh, because fuck him for being funny when you’re trying to be annoyed.
despite all of this, the synergy between you two when working together is unmatched. shit just gets done when you two are on the same team, even if you spend the entire time quipping back and forth, biting at each other. but when you both crack down and focus, it’s like you don’t even need words to communicate. you can read the other’s thoughts and know exactly where you’re needed, bouncing off of one another effortlessly.
people start to point out how as much as you say you hate each other, you two have become glued at the hip. constantly working together. talking to each other by the water cooler. eating lunch together, laughing and arguing interchangeably. someone suggests you two should start dating, another says he thought you two already had a thing going on. you both scoff.
“if I dated her, I’d ruin her life”
“yeah well if I was dating you, I’d ruin your self esteem”
“cunt”
“dickhead”
and then he’s trying to grab your sandwich from you and you twist his arm until he yelps
#I worked with a guy like this once and honestly it was so much fun#I miss being evil to him sometimes#Then he messaged me on Snapchat and confessed that he’d been in love with me the entire time and I ghosted him#I don’t know how to reject men so I just ignore them…#Oh yeah he’s where i got the inspo for soap trying to lick your face bc that’s one of the many things he used to do to annoy me#any time I would stand next to him he would lean over and try to lick my cheek#We also got very personal and mean with our insults#one time I told him I didn’t want him standing next to me anymore#because he was so skinny that every time he breathed I could hear his bones rattle#He wasn’t even that skinny but I knew he wasn’t as muscular as he wanted to be and that one did hurt his feelings lmfao#good times#The “if we dated I would ruin her life” interaction also happened between us#but I think back then I said something like “the fact you even think you have a chance”#or whatever#I don’t remember#but I remember being very offended he thought he could bag me that easily#anyway#soap x reader#john “soap” mactavish#john soap mctavish x reader#john mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish
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Vincent Price and Nancy Kovak
Diary of a Madman (1963) // dir. Reginald Leborg
#vincent price#nancy kovack#diary of a madman#the horla#guy de maupassant#evil#horror#model#the way he touches her face tho#hes so sweet i wanna lick the wrapper#what?#i want him to touch me like that!!#when's it gonna be my turn#omg#hes so sexy#this whole movie is a fucking wet dream#hes so gorgeous omg#fuckkkk#bicon#bisexual#old horror movies#vintage#movie#actor#handsome#photos/screencaps by me
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Should I sneak into the kitchen to get a cookie at midnight yes or no
#midnight snack#poll#pjo#kotlc#sorry that was just for people to see the poll#I love going to sleep late but that means I’ll get hungry and I won’t be able to eat#and since I go to the kitchen my fatass dog will run to follow me in hopes I give her a treat#i’m thirsty#like right now#but I physically cant drink water without ice in the summer and that would wake up the entire household (my mom and my dad)#there’s this bitchass cricket that won’t let me sleep#omg I hear something outside of my window#I hope that’s a rat and not a human being#you know what I’m offended about#my dog doesn’t want to sleep with me ever. she always comes to give me a goodbye lick to my face before strutting off to my parents king bed#and I think that’s unfair considering the fact that I named her and begged for her for years#anyways#Ty for coming to my midnight rant#rant#I love that tag bc it sounds like a weird remix of rat that reminds me of a rat more than a rat does#percy jackson and the olympians
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rhysand makes me want to crawl out of my skin and rip my skeleton to pieces while simultaneously waterboarding and then burning each and every one of my organs so that the only thing that remains of me is the annotations i left behind on my kindle
#acotar#just finished acotar#wish i hadn’t#rhysand was the most disgusting and horrific love interest#i genuinely won’t recover from this#bro licked a girls tears from her face to get her to stop crying#i want to disappear#i want to wipe this book from my memory#i want to cry#but i can’t in fear that a man will lick my face to get me to stop#i hate men
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“toxic” yuri fans when real codependent ships pull up
#farcille is not toxic yuri. sayaka x kirari from kakegurui… that’s toxic#also it’s Actuslly yuri like they’re Actually in love they’re not enemies to lovers or rivals or anything#they’ve always liked each other. they’re just toxic as hell and that’s what makes it so fun#while i feel like a lot of toxic yuri involves two girls who hate each other (or pretend to) for a good chunk of their relationship#but these two never hated each other. they just have the weirdest unhealthy attachment to each other#ur fav would never poker-face tell the other to jump to her death for losing your game#and then jump after her and hold her with a mysterious smile#and then pin her to the ground and tell her exactly why she finds her so intriguing and then lick the blood off her face#and then invite her to be her Personal secretary just so that they can have an excuse to be together all the time again#but even Closer than before because Before she was the *council* secretary even tho she had requested to be the *personal* secretary#and now she has the real role that she initially wanted so badly#so now they can be even closer and more codependent and have their weird detached x obsessed relationship
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not daily rolly but how can you even suggest I SHOULDNT kiss this cutie on the head??? She closes her eyes and snuggles into my neck and I'm supposed to NOT love her back??
Smh my head
#in all seriousness do be safe- you CAN kiss a beardie just dont lick them lol#the salmonella is mostly just a concern with their poop and i sure hope nobodys putting that near their face#bearded dragon#bearded dragons#i dont eat or drink around her because i dont want to get germs on her or me [plus i dont want her eating anything]
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:33 < haha get smewched loser
#art#digital art#procreate#homestuck#solnep#nepeta leijon#sollux captor#Losers loving losers#Sometimes you just gotta kiss the crap out of your grumpbutt of a matesprit to let him know you care#Don’t let that face fool you though he likes ‘em#He just gets slightly annoyed when she then licks his cheek and she knows it annoys him but it’s fun anyways#I promise I’ll draw more moments of him giving her smooches and stuff it’s just incredibly fun to draw Nep being sweet and goofy to him#She just wants to see him smile more because this boy has a goofy ass smile that melts her huntress heart in a single beat
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Do you think Hera is a cat person or a dog person? I feel like Minkowski and Eiffel are both dog people in very different ways, but Hera could go dog or cat
dog person!! for sure. in one of the AMAs, the writers said that eiffel and hera are dog people, minkowski and hilbert are cat people, and lovelace is both, and i found that so delightful, i've held it as a truth ever since.
(and it's a pretty concise way to sum up some early-series dynamics.)
i think hera is a dog person for the same reason she likes the kind of people she likes - despite her trust issues, she's someone who really wants to trust, and she likes people who seem friendly, enthusiastic, and open. maybe even overly so. i think she'd like a lot of animals, but being someone who likes eiffel kind of inherently means being a fan of loud, slobbery affection.
#guy who is kind of like a dog. in some ways.#that line where he's like can't we just pee on our part of the galaxy. eiffel moment. well anyway#if hera ever got a body i think she should get bowled over by a really large fluffy dog that wants to lick her face.#thank you!!#asks
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ryn mom core
#she’s so scary cat mom who’s also warm but like you will frel the fear of god if she cusses you out#*feel#she’s getting me ******* glasses as an early bday gift bc tax return season i love my momma!!!!!!!!!!!!#she still does the thing where she licks her thumb and then rubs my face if i’ve got something on like girl relax#*on it#sorry i had a nightmare and i’m emotional#i need a job bc i’ve planned what i want to get her for her birthday#old barbies (she got me into them bc she had a collection) an atari (she never had one) mod vanilla (she loved it) making a red velvet cake#📜.scrolls#fav#🐅 !
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Me: boy go to your mother for flexibility lessons.
#for real though I was amazed by you even as kids#I'm just like...well I'm strong#she took a ride on that 18 year old rooster leg#muscles and bulges either way you were enjoying yourself#and no I would have to say anyone that tried against us failed#I can't even remember how it gushed extra after it started up#me¡ is she pushing harder?¡?#fun and dream is all there is inside of your spirit#your name can be generated so nicely#mine always sounds like a tribute to Spanish pirates or some jew they hung on a cross#no birthmarks on me though *shrugs*#I wanna lick that mole on youe hip though#it was so bewildering your flesh matching mine#interesting that mom would have recognized you perhaps at that point#I like how when I process something new it ripples through my dumb fleah bound brain#is it strange even as children I wanted you to wear the spiked dog collar even though you were playing Penny#your hair lightened up from tree to shoe#I was like look at this cute pretty girl#dirty blond hair to match the dirt on her face#we got dirty as children it was the way of the land#sugar sand and micro granules of that black shit#I love how you got the GoDDaddy Everetts view on things#I am curious how bad you had mom's friend and daughter under your control#it is so weird how you need control (mommy is a lil' freak) and yet I feel like I have nothing worth giving#maybe you asked to hold it once while I peed#it was us and back then *shrugs* it was pre sexualized exercises if exploring#when you squat and pee and I'm like don't you need to wipe and you're like nah I'll be alright#we both have visions of Grandpa's present as we put the caterpillar into the coffee can#maybe it was already a cocoon#rusty ass old maxwell house that hasn't seen freah coffee since we were in diapers
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MEOW
#THEYRE SOOOOOO FOUL FOR THIS HELLO WHAT IF I GO OVER THERE AND LICK HIM ALL UP PLEASE#HE’S SO WRETCHED AND SEXY I WANT HIM CARNALLY#JZJSHEBDBDKSJSNNE RINNIE BABY’S FACE THO :(((((( I CANT#WHY CANT THEY JUST GET ALONG PLS#patiently waiting for zaria to post her rin screen caps so i can reblogs the shit out if them#HE LOOKED SO GOOD THIS EP TOO!!!!!! AKKAAJANNSAJA PRECIOUS ANGEL#sae >:(#itoshi sae#blue lock spoilers
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#the bitch boys are back in town <3#look we all know Moritz has a notebook filled to the brim with Matuschek lore & headcanons and I want him to spill it all#love & light to Leni who after being forcefully confronted with 9 bc I shoved the scene into her face had to go ahead inquiring#'did he actually lick his lips?!?'#and now I'm occupied being very normal once more#Moritz walking into the studio to do some light acting in the afternoon and apparently this ended up being the result#what is wrong with this man [affectionate]#tdo*#Moritz Führmann#OB DEM MORITZ MAL JEMAND ERKLÄREN KANN WAS EIN TWINK IS HAB ICH GEFRAGT#<- see that was already a tag so I'm keeping it
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"Do you have rice at home?"
What a weird question. Emmet turned to Briosa and nodded, an eyebrow crooked up to make a confused expression.
Why?, he signed.
She shrugged over the back of her seat: "You know," she replied vaguely, not answering, and added: "Do you have butter, shredded cheese?"
Emmet nodded again, more puzzled.
"Mushrooms?"
He shook his head. She clicked her tongue.
"Zucchini?"
That he did have, yes.
Briosa hummed loudly.
"Do you have broth cubes?" she asked. Her hand rose from beneath her chin and made a gesture as if holding something small between her index and thumb: "Like the uh, the ones that you put in boiling water and it makes stock broth?"
Did he have those?
He shook his head, struggling to find the right signs: Broth... Powder.
"Oh, that's still fine."
You... Need? Thing?, he asked. The vagueness was tiring him out more than the already long day had.
Briosa hummed for a long while.
"Are you hungry?" she didn't answer.
Emmet raised a hand to give an exhausted half-half gesture.
"Same," she replied - which was strange, because according to Briosa she was never hungry. She turned off the last computer still on: "Let's go."
Home sounded awful. Home sounded empty and soulless. Home sounded like Crustle yelling because he had missed feeding time by 1 minute and already trying to rip open the food cabinet to forcefully get his supper like a big cement baby, and that did make him chuckle a little and give him the strength to be on his way.
His head pulsed a bit. Mawile must have been as tired as him, because Briosa held her in her arms like a little kid as they walked down the street at a pace that was clearly not up to the shorter man's standards.
Emmet yawned. Goodness. So tired.
Briosa skipped a little at his side.
"There's some foods you absolutely cannot eat at dinner," she began unprompted, but her squeaky voice was a welcome distraction from the noisy quiet, "Not because there's some actual rule - technically there is but I call bullshit on that, it's all food - but because they're so heavy on the stomach that if you do eat them you'll be dreaming of green Raticate and pink Donphants like you got five shots of ketamine before bed."
His head snapped to face her with eyes wide from vague concern.
"I don't actually know if that's what ketamine does, I've never had it," she added, oblivious to his look.
"That's not how you pronounce that," Emmet managed to deadpan.
Mawile translated him sleepily.
Briosa turned to face him, the corners of her otherwise perfectly straight mouth pointed downwards and her forehead creased in puzzlement: "Pronounce what?"
"Ketamine," he replied - the last syllable making a 'meen' sound.
"Ketamine?" she repeated - the last sillable making a 'mine' sound, like the possessive pronoun or the place where miners work.
"Keh-tah-meen," he sounded out carefully so that she could easily read his lips.
Her brows furrowed over her crooked nose: "Ketameen?" she said correctly with a tinge of disgust. Being treated with a nod, she scoffed: "That sounds stupid. It's not a 'meen'-ending word, it sounds too stupid. It could be if it ended in 'a' but otherwise it sounds way too silly for me. I'm gonna keep calling it ketamine."
"That's wrong."
"Well, it sounds better."
Whatever makes her happy.
Emmet blinked heavily.
"Why are we talking about ketamine?" he muttered. The streetlights were too bright.
"We aren't," Briosa replied as soon as Mawile had translated him in sign. "I'm just trying to keep you awake and you derailed the conversation with what is the right way to pronounce ketamine."
"I am awake," he mumbled back.
"Are you?"
He showed her his tongue - immediately covering it with his hand. An awfully unprofessional thing to do: Briosa wasn't Elesa, even though her name ended with the same syllable, and as far as he knew they weren't quite considerable friends.
How had he even thought of confusing them enough for a mistake in etiquette like that? They were nothing alike, in looks and sound.
The substitute didn’t seem that bothered, proceding without a care: “Is it ok if I ask you for some food for my lads while I’m at yours? I’ll pay you back. It’s just because otherwise they’re gonna eat at 2 AM.”
Emmet nodded without really paying attention; only when the words swam from his ears into his brain and began being digested did he narrow his eyes and stop right where he stood.
He turned and looked behind himself.
Briosa only noticed his sudden stillness after a dozen or so steps, when Mawile pointed her back to the flabbergasted man in the middle of the street.
“You good?” she asked.
He pointed to the direction from which they had come silently, in deep thought. He blinked, then finally turned back to her.
“This isn’t the way to your house,” he noted.
“It’s not.”
The matter-of-fact tone didn't help.
"Why aren't you? On the way home?"
"I'm following you."
"Why are you following me?"
"I'm going to your house."
"You're coming to my house?"
"I'm coming to your house."
"Why are you coming to your- my house?"
"To cook you rice with zucchini."
"Why?"
"For dinner."
Emmet took a moment to pause and ruminate on all that.
"Did we agree on, on that? That you were... Coming to my house to cook?" he asked, because he genuinely didn't remember if they had.
"No."
Ah. Made sense.
A slow roundhouse kick that was probably meant as gentle (and while it did not send him hurtling across the street, it was still imbued with a discreet amount of strength that made him wobble on his unsteady knees) hit him with the back of the foot square in the ass and propelled him forward a little bit.
"Come on, let's go," the man (when had she gotten back at his side?) egged him on, much like a father dragging his noisy tired child out of the supermarket by an arm with as much vague kindness as possible: "You're sleeping on your feet like a Rapidash and you need to get some food in you."
He was too tired to complain or make a comment about that first part, and could not argue with the second.
He was really hungry.
Excadrill seemed perplexed when Briosa snuck under his arm as soon as the door was opened and made a beeline towards the kitchen, but Emmet just waved a hand, letting her know all was fine.
“She’s helping,” he told her with a yawn: “Said she’ll make dinner.”
The Steel mole looked back at the room the small vaguely antropomorphized Electrode had disappeared inside of, not very certain whether or not leaving someone like that in the vicinity of gas outlets, fire, sharpened blades and various more or less dangerous tools at her whims’ disposal; but she did consider, turning once more to the man trying to slip his shoes off while Archeops was nibbling at his wrist to shake him out of his tardiness, that was a risk she was willing to take if it meant her ward would eat before collapsing into uneasy sleep.
Footsteps stampeded heavily all the way back out of the kitchen, and Briosa appeared from the doorframe.
"I don't know where anything is," she said very flatly.
The light that came from the room hit the side of her frame, almost painting a yellow line where it landed, making her look something akin to incomprehensible in the dim sorroundings.
Emmet managed to blink slowly.
"I did find the refrigerated foods and knife and the tap water," she continued as if to reassure him she wasn't a complete cretin, "But I don't know where anything else is and I thought maybe I shouldn't slam open all the cabinets of some house that's not mine to find the rice jar."
Her boss raised a finger in the air to ask her to wait a moment; he stood slowly, heavily, and wobbled on his socked feet over to her.
He didn't have a rice jar, but he did have a box of rice, as well as a rice cooker. He provided Briosa with a pot, some oil and a plate at her request: she struggled to pour the grains into her small palm six, eight times, each fistiful dropped in the plate, cursing softly in what seemed like gibberish, and he watched her absolutely transfixed by the motion and sound similar to rain.
Something vaguely pinchy pulling at his leg snapped him out of it.
"Durant," he assumed as he croaked without looking, leaning down a big to pet lightly something vaguely metallic but not at all like his Bug's carapace, "I'll get dinner. Hold on."
A tongue clicked loudly while he reached for the pantry under the silverware that held the Pokémon food, and a large blackish mass delicately helped him get the bags out. Mawile's large mouth was a little clumsy, since the stem connecting it to the back of her head was quite thin, so Emmet ended up reciprocating her help to save her some of the strain.
Above himself he could hear the gas sparking into fire on the stove.
He nudged Briosa with an elbow to get her attention while remaining crouched - it was a little surreal to be looking up at her as he signed: Zucchini?
"Water," she replied. "I need to boil it. Also I think we forgot the broth powder."
Why boil?
"For the rice."
Sitting on his knees so he could peek over the counter, he pointed at the rice cooker; she looked at it, then turned back to him with a completely blank expression.
Rice cooker, he explained.
"Ah," she replied, and made no motion towards it.
For cooking rice, he continued.
"Yeah, I figured." Briosa checked around the station for a moment more: "Hm, yep, we missed the broth powder."
His brows furrowed: Why powder?
"For the rice. You gotta boil the rice in broth to cook it."
Emmet blinked: Rice cooker, he repeated.
Briosa blinked: "Hm," she noted.
Her boss pointed back to the utensil.
Use rice cooker.
"I don't know how to use that."
I teach you.
"That's gonna take longer than just letting me boil the rice," she waved her hand, her stoat fingers grazing his nose with a certain resolution to the movement that told him not to worry: "I know what I'm doing. You do what you gotta and try not to fall asleep. If you need me to do something or you gotta tell me something just punt your elbow on my shoulder."
Might hurt.
Briosa smiled, toothy grin not nearly as terrifying as usual: "You're a wet noodle when fully awake," she laughed, sounding like a repeatedly squeezed rubber Ducklett: "You won't hurt me."
Then she turned to wash the zucchini a bit in the sink, humming something. Mawile slowly dragged a bag out of the kitchen, struggling a bit; Emmet carefully placed the powdered broth next to the stove where it could be easily seen and raised the other end of the heavy sack to help the little Fairy bring it all the way over to the livingroom, others following behind them in mid air, held floating in the air by Chandelure's helpful Psychic - to keep it away from Crustle’s impatient grabby claws as well.
It took him a hot moment to realize he would have needed seven more bowls (the other twelve already fetched by their respective owners, thankfully); he then also realized that other than Mawile, the six guests were not actually there.
Briosa was chopping a zucchini very slowly and heavily when he came in to ask her for her team, which sat in their Pokéballs on their counter a little closer to the kitchen door. Emmet saw it fit to collect them without bothering her, noting distractedly that she seemed to be singing and deciding, against his will, to listen in.
“... Amministra-zio-ne, e liquida-zio-ne, rateizza-zio-ni anti-previden-zial - misura came-ra-le, calcolo dell’IR-PES, scarico dell’I-VA, misura cata-stal...”
The tempo of her chopping increased to a horrendous degree immediately after as she vocalized quietly; Emmet watched her cut through the vegetable with admirable technique and fury for a moment more before deciding he did not want to have her turn around a little too fast and get that blade flying right in his eye socket, and went right back to the livingroom where his brother’s Bug was starting to scream his little bulbous eyes off in hunger.
Knowing full well how big, bulky, destructive and aggressive ‘the lads’ could be in battle, he was somewhat surprised to see their politeness outside of their Pokéball when he first released them. Their sizes did cause bit of a stirrup, especially among those who hadn't seen them before, and Emolga's heavily deformed scarred grin certainly did not put anybody at ease - but Seismitoad croaked very gently, as a kind greeting, and Bisharp bowed in an incredibly courteous manner; Klinklang did seem a little more than uneasy at the sight of Heatmor, trying to scoot behind Excadrill and to drag the much more relaxed Durant with it, but the Fire type seemed just as scared of the hunk of metal as he hid behind the only lady of the team.
Speaking of Conkeldurr - the poor girl was trying her hardest to shrink in her shoulders as soon as she noticed where she was, eyeing co-workers and new curious faces with a sheepish kind of apprehension, large rough hands playing with one another.
"Hello," Emmet welcomed them too tired to stop Boldore from running into the newcomers repeatedly. "I live here. You eat here tonight."
Cryogonal made a horrifying sound not too far from Candelure' worst cough.
He gave her a thumbs up: "Yes."
It struck him very suddenly that roughly three out of six out of Briosa’s team effectively could have been considered full ass human people by size, and that while one of them was indeed an enormous bulbous frog he should have probably just let Conkeldurr and Bisharp sit on the couch.
It also struck him that Cryogonal (from whom Haxorus was inching away) was a pure Ice type.
“We don’t...” he muttered, turning around to check on the bags. He stared at them for a second or so before remembering the rest of his thought: “Have Ice type food. Food for Ice types. Uh...”
Mawile’s little hands moved quickly to tell him something.
He blinked a couple times, trying to understand before giving in, pointing at his hand: “I cannot - three finger sign, I’m not. Fluent.”
The little Steel Fairy nodded apologetically and chittered as she repeated, slower so that he could try the signs out himself to properly translate them: No problem. C eat nothing or anything. C eat wood if want. No worry.
The chittering was probably so that Cryogonal could listen in herself and assure Emmet of the veracity of the statement with another ghastly shriek.
Which she did.
That got her another thumbs up.
It took a while, to properly get everybody their bowl of dinner, and he had to be helped a couple of times - mostly by Mawile, who seemed the most well-versed in reading written symbols.
He was so, so tired.
In the end they had managed to split the food around more or less evenly: both Durant and Excadrill had graciously declined the portion of Steel-specific food that should have been mixed with their other ones so that Bisharp and Mawile could have it, since they had nothing for Dark or Fairy types, and Emolga was more than fine getting only Flying-specific (Archeops wasn’t necessarily keen on that, but very wisely had not argued with the rat that looked like he had been through a shredder and survived) since Eelektross’ size demanded quite a bowl for him; Seismitoad had at one point striked up a conversation with his fellow Ground type regarding, Emmet imagined, which types of dirt tasted better, whereas Heatmor was still snout-deep in his can of beans, apparently eating them one at a time to better savor them, as normal Fire-specific food didn’t account for his digestive troubles.
Even Cryogonal had managed to snack around without causing an excess in panic. Gurdurr seemed to be the only one a little embarassed, glancing every now and then to the much bigger Fighting type in the same manner an elementary-schooler glances at a substitute teacher he may or may not have a puppy crush on.
It was relatively quiet, in the end. A lot of crunching and munching, and unintelligible words, but it was quiet.
Emmet shook himself a little when small teeth gently bit down on his arm: Mawile looked up at him with a slight concern, her little hands pulling at his pants to make him sit down properly instead of squatting on his toes.
“Hm?” he asked her - or, well, tried to - as he felt his head strangely light.
The Fairy insisted he take a seat first before explaining: No sleep yet! Rice not ready. Ready soon. Stay awake.
“I am Emmet. I am awake.”
Before no.
“Yes I was.”
Mawile pointed at Boldore: Called you, she explained. Food stolen. You asleep! No answer. Crab say shut up.
At that, he looked up to the three Bugs.
Durant and Galvantula both followed his gaze: Crustle turned his bulbous eyes in two completely different directions to try and feign ignorance.
That clearly did not work, as a perfectly straight finger pointed right at him.
“Bad boy.” his trainer’s brother decreted. Crustle (who by law knew any word he could have said could have been used against him) chirped out an indignated whine in protest. “No. Give Boldore some of yours.”
Bugs cannot quite huff, though the crustacean definitely did try; with no other option, he haughtily shoved what still remained in his bowl to the block of rock he had stolen the lunch from in the first place, who made a crumbling sound similar to a piqued ‘thank you’ and very slowly helped himself to the rest of his supper while the other retreated in his cement house as though he were the offended party here.
Well, that was solved.
Emmet rubbed one eye with his hand to shake the sleep dust off of it.
A three-fingered paw pulled at his shirt again: “I am awake,” he reassured Mawile, “I am not falling asleep.”
She did not particularly care about his blatant lies at the moment - not as much as she cared about getting him off the floor, at least, as evidenced by how she tried to pull him onto the couch despite her obvious size disadvantage. Bisharp, noting her struggle, quickly put aside his own bowl and rose to his feet, metal arms outstretched to catch the man in them.
“No thanks,” Emmet stopped him. “Can do it myself.”
Alright, he thought, time to stand up.
After a whole minute he had not moved an inch.
Bisharp, with as extreme a tenderness as a creature composed partially by sawblades could muster, gently slipped his hands under Emmet’s arms, lifted him into the air as one might lift a cat, and sat him on the couch.
“Thanks.” the human peeped.
Seeing the Dark type bow a little in response while Archeops blatantly laughed at him gave him some weird new kind of mortification to feel.
Maybe if he focused on the incomprehensible sounds somewhat reminscent of words coming from the kitchen, he would manage to trick himself into not thinking about having had to be picked up like a bag of cement because his joints didn’t respond.
From the door connecting the two rooms he could see Briosa perfectly still before the stove: a vacant look seemed to dwell in her eyes as her lips moved quickly, and perhaps most concerningly she was holding a kitchen knife in her right hand, bits and pieces of zucchini still stuck to the blade, with a grip that could have concievably crushed a piece of wood into shavings or caused a small enough pumpkin to explode under the pressure.
Not a very reassuring sight.
But it did immediately cancel his embarassment.
“... E il carica-to-re svuo-te-rà, sul-le aliquote della-li-bertà...”
Very suddenly, she began banging her fists against her hips in asynchrony, large knife very much still grasped tight in her palm, as if her body was a drumset and she were playing it after getting a dose of pure sugar injected in her veins.
“Ed il so-cio scompa-ri-rà, sul-le aliquote della-li-bertà...” she continued unperturbed by neither her own choreography nor the possibility of accidentally stabbing herself for that matter.
The rest of the chorus turned a little garbled from her furious headbanging, the movement so violent and so spread out through her entire frame (her torso and pelvis were oscillating in tandem back and forth to lend more strength to the motion, making her look a little like one of those bird-shaped toys that are constantly quickly dipping their beaks in the water, rising out of it, then diving back in for another sip) that it made him fear for a moment she would slam her head on the counter and either knock herself out or destroy it completely, with a higher chance of the latter.
Emmet turned back to Mawile, who had climbed the couch to sit next to him.
“She is always like this?”
She followed his finger with her gaze as he pointed to the kitchen.
Then she nodded.
“Man.”
No like silence, the Fairy explained.
"Aaah. So she talks."
The little beast waited a moment, then waved a hand in the air in a sort-of-yes-sort-of-no kind of gesture: Talk, no really. No hear voice. Feel mouth move, remember how voice sound. But no hear.
Emmet tilted his head: "She can't hear her own voice?"
Mawile nodded.
He clicked his tongue in thoughtful aknowledgement and blinked.
That was such a weird concept, not being able to hear yourself. It was the sort of obvious thing one never ponders on at all: so he had always assumed she could, without really thinking about it enough to question whether or not that was possible. And even if he had found himself reflecting on it in a sudden burst of curiosity, he would have probably still rationalized that she could, maybe by feeling the vibrations in her neck as she spoke.
But that would have meant keeping her hands on her throat all the time, he reasoned, and it would have been really bothersome for someone as prone to action as she was.
He wondered, suddenly, if she knew how squeaky she sounded.
Probably not.
"Could she hear herself?" he asked. "Somehow?"
Yes!, Mawile nodded enthusiastically.
Emmet blinked again. From what she had told him, he hadn't expected that could have been a possibility.
Headphone! Microphone!, the Fairy continued without needing any prompting. Ear implant! But no wear for long. Hurt ear. Or yell!
"Yell?"
If loud enough! Like before!
Did that mean she had been yelling?
This whole time?
Oh, Emmet suddenly thought: yes, actually, she must have been. The kitchen was a room that in some strange way never let any noise escape it; no matter how much the oil could have sizzled or how agonizingly the blender could have screamed, their agony remained hushed into silence between those walls. It was very nice, by all means - he still remembered having to retreat in his closet to escape the noise of his uncle in the kitchen so it couldn’t make him feel like there were Stunfisks flapping around in his veins - but it brought along the slight side-effect that if they had to set a timer that wasn't the oven's (which turned the machine off as soon as it was done) they would have to put it in the livingroom, or they'd never hear it.
For him to be able to listen to her, Briosa must have been belting the hell out of her incomprehensible song like tomorrow wasn't planning on being a thing.
“Verrry loud,” he commented, slowly.
Mawile nodded, whirring her tongue to imitate him as she signed: Verrry loud.
Some minor inconvenience must have happened, because Briosa shouted something irritated, possibly profanity of some kind.
Emmet leaned his head on the back pillows.
Now she was singing again.
“Al-me-no-fi-no-a-do-mat-ti-na-ti-pro-me - tto-che, sarò la fa-ccia, di-cui-hai-più bisogno...”
This one was much calmer. More melodic. The way she pronounced the words had a strange cadence, quick yet slow - it was hard to explain. He blinked, feeling drowsy all the way into his marrow.
“Me-glio-non-di-re-nien-te-aspet-tando-il-mat-ti-no, sor-rido, se-pen-so-al-no-me-che-tu mi-darai do-ma-ni...”
Huh. This verse had a completely different rhythm. Weird.
Maybe the author was part of some avantgarde musical genre he didn’t know.
He felt something lukewarm pulling his forehead back and realized his eyes were closed. When had that happened? Chandelure chimed at him something that sounded like ‘don’t fall asleep yet, you still have to eat’.
Ah.
So it wasn’t the song’s fault for having different-sounding verses.
He mouthed that he wasn’t asleep, voice barely leaving his mouth. He hadn’t even noticed he’d dozed off.
“... che, orati-mangida-den, tro, piccolo-pianeta-spen, to, come-una bri-ciolaal-ven-toe-un-bu-co-ne-roe-un-oc-chio-blu,” Briosa was continuing.
He wondered how much of it he’d missed.
“E, so-no-po-co-più-di-un-jamais-vu, tra tutte queste persone, nella-mia-testa-io-gioco-a-tabù, perdo-se-dico-il tuo no - me...”
A pinch at his leg.
Ow, he murmured, furrowing his brow; Durant chittered worriedly at him, nudging him to spur him into action. His eyelids felt horribly sandy against his sclera as he rubbed them with as much vigor as possible to shake any tiredness away.
He was not tired. He was not sleeping.
His knees popped when he straightened them to tense his legs.
He was not about to fall into a nap again.
“Io ti terrò la mano, tu tienimi l’anima...”
He bent down to grasp his feet.
“E pure se non sai chi sono non lasciarla mai...”
Maybe, if he went to check on Briosa, he would avoid knocking himself out on the couch for the next five hours.
He stood as though he were made of lead.
Following her saccharine voice, he slowly began wobbling towards the kitchen.
“Ve - di, ci sono, dei-ri, cordi, che-mi de - vi, sei grande, ma-ti, chiamo-an, cora ba - by,” (oh, a word he recognized) “Ho gl’occhi rossi ma non te ne accorgi, ti guardo mentre dormi, ma solo ieri-”
Her nose stuck out so much when you looked at her from the side. It jutted out from her forehead out of nowhere, somewhere a little above her eyes and almost right below her eyebrows, and then it came right down like a straight wall. It wasn’t perfectly straight, because there was a dent where it had likely been broken and incorrectly healed; so more than a wall it was like a waterfall interrupted in the middle by a rock. Despite the contrast with the rest of her more graceful features, it fit everything about her like a glove. Emmet’s nose showed no signs of harm and pointed outwards instead, like half the head of an arrow. What weird things to notice in the split second between two verses of a hook.
“-C’e-ri, nei giorni ne-ri, quelli che piove troppo fo-rte per stare in pie-di,” she sang: “E fottevamo anche la morte volando legge-ri, m’hai chiesto dimmi cosa te-mi, in che cosa cre-di, la mia risposta sei tu.”
She hummed loudly, thin lips pursed tight, tilting her head with the melody.
“La mia risposta sei tu...” she repeated while stirring the mass of rice in what little broth was left.
Emmet stared.
She had a nice voice.
When she turned to the door - maybe to call for him - she had a startle and flattened herself closer to the floor, little eyes blown wide and hand grasping the counter. She looked like she had a heart attack.
They simply stared at each other for a moment, before Emmet remembered she couldn’t have heard him come in and likely had shat her pants.
Whoops.
Briosa was quicker: “Hello!” she grinned apologetically. “I was really really loud, wasn’t I.”
Her boss shook his head, smiling back: No problem. You sing nice.
Expression losing any mortification, she flipped her wooden spoon to tap her chin with it a few times as though she were thanking a deeply captivated audience - giving a ‘youch’ and a ‘porca puttana bastarda’ when the heat carried by the utensil scalded her a little.
He wasn’t sure what that second thing meant, but it made him chuckle.
Briosa turned back to the pot and twisted her mouth: “Ok, since it’s almost ready, do you want me to put...” she rocked in place for a moment, hand waving a little, “A sensible person’s idea of a good amount of cheese and butter, or my idea of a good amount of cheese and butter?”
Second, he signed.
“Gotcha.” and she got her big knife back in hand and grabbed the brick of definitely softer butter like she was going to squeeze it between her fingers and annihilate it completely: “Drown it in dairy it is.”
Emmet wheezed weakly.
He fetched a couple plates and forks to set on the table, slowly, so slowly. By the time he found the glasses and started checking for a bottle that still had some water before pikcing one and putting in the sink to fill it, the rice had completely dried up, and Briosa was stirring it with butter and shredded cheese with such a focused gaze and furiously quick hand that an inattentive onlooker might have thought she was busy making merengues instead.
(They had tried exactly once, and in the end they’d both ended up with aching wrists and a bunch of half whipped egg clears despite their best efforts. In the end they had made sweet white omelettes that weren’t as bad as they could have turned out to be.)
“You wanna lick the spoon?”
Before he could even register the question he had already clamped the wooden utensil in his mouth.
Clearly the correct course of action: that tasted great.
Must have been all the cheese.
Now he was salivating.
“This’ll kill you,” Briosa assured him with a calm tone. “If you’re not gonna be sleeping after this I might have to punch a hole in your head.”
He gave her thumbs up. A good last meal either way.
They ate in silence, fairly quickly. Had he really not noticed how hungry he was up until now? Dragons. He shouldn’t skip meals. But maybe it was just because this rice specifically tasted so good. Why, he couldn’t really tell. It was just rice and zucchini. Drowned in dairy, but still rice and zucchini. It wasn’t even that hard to make. He probably could have made it on his own.
Maybe it was because he’d fasted the whole day.
He stood and fetched a second portion. Briosa was eyeing the pot like a Braviary waiting for the right moment to strike a Basculin.
When he motioned for her to hand him her plate she shook her head: “I’m not hungry,” she claimed, though he never quite believed her when she said that, even when she sounded so honest - maybe she was trying to convince herself, but as to why he couldn’t tell, “It’s just gluttony. Keep that in a tupper or something, I made a lot for that especially. And!”
Her index waved a little in the air, possibly to distract her boss from how she was standing to wash her dish and everything before he might object: “And, when you warm it, do it in a pan. With some oil. Gets all crunchy like popcorn. Good shit, let me tell you.”
Emmet nodded. You know a lot, he signed back once both his hands were free.
“My dad always fries his rice instead of putting it in the microwave.”
I see. It was very good.
She smiled at him weirdly.
“You gotta do it like this,” and she signed ‘very’ back at him - though her index and middle fingers paused for a moment after parting, dipping just a second towards the floor before she finished the sign.
He tilted his head: he’d been fairly sure he’d learned how to sign that correctly. Nevertheless, he imitated her.
“There you go!” she grinned. “It’s too weird when you say it with no gemination.”
Twin?, he asked, even more confused.
She spelled the word quickly: “Gemination - doubling letters in a word to make a longer or stronger sound. Like rubble or throttle or bottle. In this case it’s over-gemination because no letter in ‘very’ is doubled but that doesn’t matter. You geminate it. It doesn’t feel right if you don’t.”
How do you know?
“Know what?”
Gemination.
“Ah. Your mouth.”
He pointed at it, surprised. It likely looked a little comical, since he had taken a rather big bite at that moment.
Briosa smiled a little wider: he watched her clearly mouth the word twice, slowly.
“The eh sound opens it a little wider than the ee sound,” she explained, and mouthed it again. “The R by itself has a shwah sound, a sort of ‘uh’ - that’s really weak, so it gets replaced easily by a different one. If you stall it after an eh sound, the lips remain in a similar position, and you can see how they flatten more once the ee sound comes along.”
He looked more carefully as she repeated the motion once more before gulping down his last forkful and imitating her, trying to feel the sounds on his lips. Huh! That was true. He could tell the different shapes made by the vowels. Curious.
Verrry interesting, he signed. The stalling made her grin. Where did you learn?
“Phonetics class in college I had to take to meet the right amount of credits. I actually chose it mostly because the professor was deaf too, so.”
Emmet clicked his tongue, understanding; Briosa clicked it back in affirmation.
Who knows where they’d picked that up from.
He leaned his strangely heavy head on his crossed arms, splaying himself on the table with a sigh. He felt comfortably warm, at ease; he grumbled a protest when a smaller hand slipped his empty plate and dirty silverware away to wash it in the sink, but didn’t quite manage to coax himself to stand up fast enough to stop her from doing his dishes. He did manage to seize the still half full pot before her, emptying its contents into a glass container and managing to hold onto it long enough to squirt some dishsoap in it - not to clean it, because Briosa twisted his arm behind his back without breaking a sweat (without hurting him either) forcing him to hand it over to her.
You should not clean, he pouted once he had both his hands free again: My house. I’m host. You’re guest. I clean.
“I invited myself over though.”
And cooked.
“And ate also.” and she kicked his hip gently to get him out of the kitchen: “Get your pijamas on while I’m busy, you’re going straight to bed once I’m done.”
You’re not my dad.
She stared directly into his eyes with a face so blank it almost made him laugh.
“Do you want me to adopt you,” she said like it was a threat.
Emmet’s entire body began shaking to contain a giggle. He shook his head.
“Then wash your teeth and put on your jammies.”
He wheezed in her face.
She snorted back.
“But seriously,” she chuckled, “Go get changed. The rice is gonna hit soon and you’re not gonna be able to move a muscle for the next three hours otherwise.”
Alright, fair.
He didn’t notice it, but the Pokémon chatting about in the livingroom were all greatly relieved to see him stumble into his room giggling to himself like a kid.
Flannel felt good on his arms. It was soft, warm, loose... It seemed like forever since he had last worn those pijamas. They were awfully comfortable. He had to make an effort to change into them more often when he came back home. They were much better than a dirty button up and dress pants.
(He hadn’t called before eating. He should have called now.)
(One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty.)
“If you’re naked stick out your leg!”
The sound of Briosa’s voice shouting from the corridor made him almost throw the Xtransceiver into high heaven, fumbling to catch it so that it didn’t shatter on the floor and hastily closing the call before she could hear the ringing and ask about it.
The fact that she was deaf dawned on him a second too late, but that was done.
(And he hadn’t replied, anyways.)
He settled the gadget on the nightstand, trying to pull himself out of the spiral he’d almost been sucked in; without even thinking he proceeded to stick his leg out through the doorway.
There was a beat of silence; then: “I said naked!”
Emmet cawed out a laugh.
His head peeked through as well. Briosa looked at him, face plain, coat in her arms and hat in hand.
“I thought you’d passed out,” she noted.
Nope, he signed back. Still awake.
“Not for long!”
Sounds evil.
Her brows furrowed: “What’s that mean?”
You sound like you’ll knock me out.
She thought it over a moment before squeaking a chuckle.
It would be verrry easy, he shrugged.
“It would!”
He accompanied her back to the livingroom. The various bags of food had been transported away, the bowls had disappeared back into their cupboard, Crustle still refused to grace the room with his handsome face, and Gurdurr hurriedly scuttled away from Conkeldurr despite having barely come close enough to graze her, deathly embarassed by his crush and round nose redder than usual; Cryogonal shrieked something in his general direction as greeting.
He gave her thumbs up.
“Alright my beautiful death machines,” Briosa called with a tone so affectionate it felt as though her mouth was dripping cotton candy: “We’re goin’ back home! Time for the circus trick.”
She patted her belt a few times, looking for her set of Pokéball. Emmet helpfully pointed them to her from where he’d laid them on the table; Mawile took that as an opportunity to gently bite her shirt as she collected the spheres to rapidly sign something at her and direct her attention over to Heatmor, who was fidgeting rather nervously with his yellow claws.
Once he had her undivided attention, he pulled the sweetest pair of Baby-Doll Eyes he could muster, wiggling demurely as though whining.
Briosa smiled: “Go on, give her a snuggle,” she allowed.
In a second the Fire type wrapped Durant in a tight hug, rubbing his snout on her with a concert of thrilled chirps; the Steel Bug for her part clacked her mandibles rather happily as though to remind him they were going to see each other tomorrow at work anyways.
The beasts who hadn’t visited the station in quite some time eyed the exchange with genuinely dumbfounded gazes.
It probably felt a little like beholding a glitch in nature itself.
A brief whistle tore Heatmor from his friend; he waved her bye one last time before a reddish ray sucked him right back into one of the six balls being juggled by his trainer, followed suit by each of his associates while Mawile latched herself onto her aidee’s elbow.
Emmet followed the trajectory of the flying spheres without trying to keep up with their increasing speed, head heavier than lead lolling back and forth until all six were caught with a fluid graceful motion between the fingers of the Substitute, the little Fairy swinging from her arm leaping onto her head and landing perfectly balanced - thanks to her main maw acting as counterweight - right on her buzzed mousy hair with a little flourish, like an olimpic gymnast.
He weakly waved his hands in a silent applause. Mawile bowed deeply, proud; Briosa curtsied and thanked him by grazing all ten fingertips to her chin.
Must teach me, he signed as he forgot to stifle a yawn.
“Maybe when you’re not falling asleep on your feet.”
Agreed.
Galvantula gently nuzzled her leg.
“Ye, ye, I’m leaving him to y’all now,” she assured the Bug. She saluted the rest of the beasts as she slipped her coat back on hurriedly and helped her aide back down into one of her pockets: “Thank you for not mauling me!”
A chorus of noises she couldn’t hear bid her farewell.
Socked feet accompanied her to the door. Emmet stalled for a moment before opening it; his fingers drummed on the knob under eyes of rotten green waiting patiently for him to send them on their way.
Instead he turned towards her, hands a little sluggish as he signed: Thank you. For rice. And company. Elesa does this, usually. When she can.
“That’s nice to know.” Briosa noted.
Not always. She comes, not always. I mean that. Always nice, when she comes. But doesn’t come always.
“Yeah, I imagined you meant that.”
Sorry. Verrry tired.
“I can see that.”
I am... Bothering?
“Not at all! You just kinda look like you’re melting. You should go sleep.”
Will do.
Briosa smiled. It was the most angular smile he’d seen on her yet, and it fit her like a glove. It made him think like the smile that made Elesa’s eyes too small and her face too round. It was sweet.
“Next time I’ll make you a soup,” she said. “And if I remember them I’ll sing you some songs from old cartoons to keep you awake.”
He liked the idea of a next time.
He gave her an ok; she tilted her hat at him.
“Goodnight.”
Goodnight.
Then he closed the door behind her; tucked his and his brother’s partners to bed; turned off the lights; crawled under the covers.
He slept well.
#pokémon#submas emmet#too many pokemon to tag... its both the twins teams + briosas as well#briosa pokemon#random writing#MAN this has been in my wips for a LONG while idk how or why i powered through tonight to finish it but im glad#feat. Sulle Aliquote Della Libertà (by nanowar of steel) and Ricordi (by pinguini tattici nucleari) aka the songs briosa sings#ricordi is such a submas song to me (stripped of any romantic undertone in there)#its written from the persective of someone whose loved one suffers from alzheimer#and the verses briosa sings are the ones that i feel are most connected to ingo and emmets situation#(tho first one is more abt elesa n briosa being there for emmet - 'at least until tomorrow morning i promise ill be the face you need most')#theyre written weirdly bc i was trying to recreate the songs rhythm btw you should look for the proper lyrics. its a great song trust me#sulle aliquote della libertà is there only because of the dramatic comedic timing#it has no special meaning its a song abt how to commit tax evasion gdhsgdhjsgaj#also! the spoon thing. my mom always asks if someone wants to lick the spoon/licks it herself after she makes rice. its tastey#i NEED to reiterate that briosa doesnt Know she and emmet are friends at this point#so in her mind shes doing this for her boss who shes come to know better and enjoy and who she knows is Going Through It#elesa asked her to look after him as in 'make sure he doesnt work himself to death'#and briosa went 'got it chief' and overachieved spectacularly#emmet: mmm. briosa never says im her friend. maybe she thinks its obvious#briosa (who made him dinner n kept him company n ensured he took care of himself): this is a normal boss-employee dynamic
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when fratboy!satoru takes your virginity you kind of expect him to be an ass about it. he's cocky as it is, and has a habit of gassing himself up too much when it comes to his... skills in the bedroom. if you're not listening to him talk about how he's the strongest, you're listening to him talk about how he's the biggest.
being the only virgin of your friend group was starting to grate on you and... a small part of you might've wanted to find out if there's any bite to satoru's bark. it's not like the two of you were dating or anything, but you felt comfortable enough to walk up to him one day during lunch and ask, in front of his best friend:
"will you take my virginity?"
maybe you expected him to blush. or freeze up. or at least trip over his words. but instead, the stupid white-haired prick looked up at you with the most relaxed expression possible and shrugged.
"okay."
and that's how you ended up here, sitting criss-cross applesauce on his messy dorm-room bed with his tongue halfway down your throat. a few empty cans of beer and abandoned cheat sheets lay strewn over his floor, and you hate yourself for letting this be the backdrop of your entry into the sex-having life.
but you can’t hate yourself for long because as he runs a hand up your thigh and under your skirt, you start to feel more excited than you thought you’d feel. he pushes you back, slots his knee between your thighs and bites at your bottom lip before trailing down to your throat.
still, it’s satoru, so when he pushes your panties to the side and feels just how wet you are for him, he laughs. “you get this wet when you touch yourself or is all of this just for me?”
“shut up,” you groan as he nips at the skin of your throat and gently runs his finger through your folds and up to your clit. you’re surprised he knows where your clit is, even.
and he’s not wrong—you’ve never been wet like this before. you can feel just how damp the fabric of your panties are you as satoru pulls them down your thighs and hikes your skirt up to get a clearer look at your soaked cunt.
“pretty,” he licks his lips. “wannna taste her, that okay baby?”
his eyes search yours for consent and you’re stunned for a moment as he waits for ‘enthusiastic consent’. you didn’t expect this sort of check-in from a frat boy. your nod seems enthusiastic enough to him, but just for clarity—“use your words.”
“yes. please, gojo.”
“satoru,” he corrects you. “want to hear that name when you cum on my tongue. cant believe no ones tasted her before.”
the use of referring to your pussy as ‘her’ is odd but quickly overlooked when he delves into your pussy like he’s dehydrated. tongue flat against your heat just to flex and circle around your clit. he sucks and bites a little and pulls you to your first orgasm in nasty speeds.
you cum on his tongue whilst his eyes bore into yours from between your thighs. white hair pulled out of his face by your hand as you tug the strands in hopes that he’ll stop licking at your overstimulated clit. it takes until you’re shaking for him to finally pull back and free his angry cock from his pants.
you think you gasp when you see it. he said he was big but you didn’t think he was a truthful man in the slightest. his cock is so heavy it doesn’t even stand at full mast—it fights gravity. satoru sees the look on your face and instead of sporting a shit-eating grin like you expect, he climbs over you and presses a soft kiss to your forehead.
“let’s stop here?” he asks. “we could watch a movie. oooh what about die hard?”
you giggle, your nerves melting a little at his words. “i’m okay, i want this. i am not graduating as a virgin.”
satoru snorts and, after rolling a condom on, gently pries your legs apart enough for him to slot his wait in between them. he guides your ankles to link behind his back and slowly runs the tip of his cock through your slick folds. “tell me if you need me to stop,” he says. “just relax. i’ve got you, baby.”
you actually manage to relax a little, focus on the feeling of being stretched as satoru slowly pushes into you until his tip is completely hidden in your cunt. it’s uncomfortable, but not unbearable. “keep going.”
one of his long fingers dips down to rub soft circles over your clit to relax you a little more as he pushes deeper. you’ve never felt so full, so sore yet desperate for more… you wonder if it’s always going to feel like this, or if it’s just because satoru is the one breaking you open to find pleasure in your insides.
he lets out a pretty moan as he bottoms out inside of you, the weight of his heavy balls resting against your ass as he stills and catches your lips in a wet kiss. his tongue slips into your mouth, runs over your teeth and pushes against your tongue as he slowly draws out of you and then, with a grunt that you taste, snaps his hips forwards into you.
that hurts, but there’s an odd stitch of pleasure in the way he’s broken you open. “sorry,” he speaks against your lips. “it’s better that i just got it out of the way, it can start feeling real good soon. gonna make you cum on my cock, baby. you want that?”
you nod, eyes staring into his as your foreheads meet. satoru nods back, licking his lips and smiling. “yeah? you wanna be stuffed full, huh? always knew you were filthy. but i’m the only one that gets to see it.”
his arrogance pulls at your lips. “until i fuck the next guy.”
snap. his cock splits you open at that, and though you wince and screw your face us, you’re letting out moans made for porn too. his finger on your clit starts working a little faster as he draws back again just to drive into you even harder.
“no,” he dips his head down to bite at your neck. “not until you fuck the next guy. i mean you can try, baby, but it’s not happening.”
“ngh, what do you mean?”
another thrust into you sends you further up the bed. you’re sure you look a mess but satoru looks down at you with such wide blown eyes that you could be convinced you’re from the heavens. “not giving you up that easy,” he groans. “you know, i fucked someone last week just because they had your name. got to moan it without being slapped. again.”
your hand flies up to his chest, almost in an attempt to slow his now mean pace. “wait you—ngh god—you like me?”
“i’m far fucking past like,” he moans, hips starting to stutter. any discomfort has faded into glorious pleasure. your stomach starts to tighten again and you know you’re close enough that he’s going to try and time your orgasms. “you’re so perfect. so much better than i imagined.”
your eyes roll back a little at the thought of satoru fucking his fist late at night to the thought of you. how nonchalant he was when you asked him to take your virginity, you wonder if he went home last night and stroked himself to the sheer anticipation of being inside of you.
“satoru i’m gonna—”
he cuts you off with a deep kiss. it’s sex and want and lust, but it’s also soft in a way you can’t describe—maybe even a little anxious after his confession. it might just be his pending orgasm, but you swear his lips tremble between yours.
his cock throbs as he drills it into you, hits your most sensitive spot with every single thrust. it’s like he already has you mapped out, because you’re both cumming in tandem with each other before long.
a part of you aches to feel his cum spill into you instead of the condom he wears, to be claimed and filled by his seed over and over. would he fuck it back into you? clean you off with his talented tongue? would he plug you with his cock until he’s ready to overfill you with a second load?
he moans into your mouth and pulls back a little to revel in your fucked out expression. your legs still wrap around his waist, boxing him in and keeping him close. you worry that in typical frat boy fashion he’ll make an excuse and run off to recount the fuck with his friends. but satoru pecks at your lips, then your chin, then down your neck again.
“what are you doing?” you ask, vision slightly blurred from the intensity of your orgasm.
“gonna make you cum again,” he smiles against your skin. “didn’t you hear?”
“hear what?”
he pulls back to look at you, a soft smile pulling at his pretty lips. “that if you cum at least five times when you lose your virginity, you’ll fall in loooove.”
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