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goforth-ladymidnight · 5 months ago

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A Second Chance, Ch. 12

@praetorqueenreyna @thrumbolt @taymartiart @achaotichuman @northern-polaris @zivotzaruzi (Please let me know if you'd like to be tagged or untagged.)

Pairing: Tamlin x Lucien

Summary: Lucien and Tamlin receive an unexpected late night visitor.

Wordcount: 5.6k

Read on AO3 or read on here below the cut:

Lucien cradled his mug of coffee without drinking as he sat on the couch opposite Tamlin, who was fiddling with his violin. He would turn a knob here, pluck a string there, but mostly, he seemed content just to hold it, in its familiar place under his chin.

As he tested one of the freshly tuned strings with his bow, it let out a high singing note that screeched a little at the end. Tamlin winced and caught Lucien’s eye, then realized he had been watching in silence this whole time. He let out a shy chuckle as he lowered the instrument.

“It’s… been a while,” he began, trying to apologize, but Lucien waved him off.

“I don’t mind,” he insisted truthfully. “I like watching you play. It’s just like old times.”

Tamlin ducked his head, trying—and failing—to hide his pleased smile. “I forgot how good it felt,” he said quietly, then lifted his gaze. “I don’t know how I can ever thank you enough.”

Lucien lifted his mug in salute. “As long as you don’t keep me up until four in the morning with your practicing, I’ll consider us even,” he said, then shrugged. “Unless you want to practice on me.” He winked.

Tamlin chuckled as he returned the instrument to its case. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Lucien sat up when Tamlin closed the lid. “Whoa, hey. I didn’t mean you had to stop now,” he said in a more serious tone.

Tamlin shrugged dismissively. “I know, but I really shouldn’t be playing right now,” he said, securing the clasps. “Not until I’ve replaced the strings, anyway.”

“I’ll get right on that,” Lucien promised. “I owe you seven more gifts, remember?” he said playfully, then took a sip of his coffee.

As Tamlin opened his mouth to speak—to insist that Lucien didn’t need to get him anything else, as usual—the doorbell startled them both.

“That was fast,” Tamlin remarked, eyes wide.

Lucien huffed a laugh as he leaned forward to set his mug on its coaster. “I’m good, but I’m not that good,” he declared, pushing himself to his feet. It would have been rather clever of him to arrange a late-night delivery from a local music store, but after a long, leisurely dinner, the thought simply hadn’t occurred to him. “Sit tight. I’ll be right back.”

“Are you expecting anyone?” Tamlin asked as he walked to the door.

“Not that I know of,” Lucien replied, then paused. “Did you invite Jurian?”

“No.” Tamlin shook his head, frowning to himself. “He’s with Vassa.”

“Huh.” As Lucien peered through the peephole, he grimaced. “Well, it’s definitely not Vassa,” he muttered.

“Oh?” Tamlin stood up. “Who is it?”

Lucien groaned as he opened the door. “Alex.”

“Hey, Lulu,” his older brother said dryly. He had an overnight bag over his shoulder, and a takeout bag in his other hand. “Do you mind?” he asked, nodding at the opening. “My dumplings are getting cold.”

Without waiting for an answer, he tried to muscle past, but Lucien blocked his path.

“Hey, what gives?”

“I didn’t say you could come in,” Lucien said sternly, then his eyes narrowed. “Did Eris send you to check on me?”

Alex’s head jerked back as he snorted. “No. I told you I needed a place to crash, so…” He managed a shrug with his bags. “Here I am.”

Lucien rolled his eyes. Crash was right. “And I told you to get a hotel, so…” He flicked his fingers. “Shoo.”

Alex made a face. “Come on, Lu. Quit being a brat,” he complained. “It’s been a long day. Ianthe’s giving me the cold shoulder, Dad’s busting my balls, and my arms are killing me. Let me in already, will ya?”

Against his better judgment, Lucien stepped aside. “A brat? Really?” he muttered as he closed the door behind his brother.

“It’s just for one night,” Alex declared brightly, slinging his overnight bag onto the couch. “Three, tops.”

It wasn’t until he had unbuttoned his coat that Alex realized Lucien wasn’t alone. He pointed at Tamlin, who was standing there stoically with his arms crossed.

“Who’s this?”

Lucien scratched at the scar over his eye and sighed. “Tam, this is my brother Alex,” he announced with a tired gesture. “Alex, Tamlin.”

“Oh… Hey,” Alex said, giving Tamlin a slow, curious nod.

Tamlin nodded curtly in reply.

Alex turned to Lucien and jerked his thumb in Tamlin’s direction. “So, you weren’t kidding about the whole couch situation?” he asked in a low voice, but not so low that Tamlin couldn’t hear.

“Of course I wasn’t kidding,” Lucien whispered back, annoyed. “I have company. Obviously.”

Alex gave Tamlin another curious once-over before cocking his head at Lucien. “Yeah, but… what kind?”

“What do you mean: ‘What kind?’”

Tamlin cleared his throat. “I knew Lucien back in college,” he offered carefully. “We were roommates.”

Lucien knew why Tamlin was being cautious. His older brother Arthur had been less than understanding when he came out the day before. Actually, his brother had been downright hostile, and that was in a Christmas tree lot, with witnesses. However, what Tamlin didn’t know was that while Alex was not the most egregious ally, at least he wasn’t a complete tool.

“Actually,” Lucien told Alex loudly, “Tam and I are dating now. He’s my boyfriend.”

Alex’s mouth opened in understanding as he looked between them, nodding slowly. “Oh… So, you’re saying the couch is free, then.”

Tamlin turned red and coughed into his fist while Lucien pursed his lips in annoyance.

“I didn’t, actually,” he told his brother coolly. “Tam and I have plans for that couch, and you’re not invited.”

Tamlin’s wheeze sputtered into a hacking cough. “I’m going to get some coffee,” he rasped, and rushed past.

“Ooh, put two sugars in mine,” Alex called out as Tamlin disappeared into the safety of the kitchen.

When he was out of sight, Lucien smacked his brother on the arm. “What the hell, man?”

Alex rubbed his arm with a frown. “What? Your friend was offering.”

“First of all, he’s my boyfriend, and, second of all, no, he wasn’t,” Lucien snapped. “And besides, I never agreed to let you stay.”

“It’s only for one night,” Alex tried to argue, but Lucien cut him off.

“Why don’t you go stay with Mom?”

Alex made a face. “Come on, Lu,” he whined. “That’s pathetic.”

“Oh, really? More pathetic than you begging to sleep on your little brother’s couch while pretending he isn’t having hot gay sex in the next room?”

From the depths of the kitchen, there was a distinct sound of spoons clattering to the floor.

Lucien couldn’t help but smirk as he called out, “Everything okay in there?”

“It’s fine,” Tamlin called back meekly.

Satisfied, Lucien crossed his arms and cocked his head as Alex winced, looking sheepish. “You see? This place isn’t exactly soundproof.”

Alex let out a defeated sigh. “Okay, look,” he said quietly. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but Ianthe and I have been having some problems…”

“You don’t say,” Lucien said sarcastically, but in truth, he cared about his brother. He just didn’t care for his taste in women.

“It’s just… I don’t have the money for a hotel,” Alex admitted without looking at him. “Ianthe has been spending it all on this—this stupid feng shui nonsense… and now it’s the holidays, and… Well, you know how it is.”

Lucien did know. He’d been through it before with Jessie, but, unlike his brother, he hadn’t married the problem. Alex looked so glum about it that Lucien couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. “So why not cut her off?” he tried to suggest, but Alex shot him a glare.

“Says the guy who bought his drag queen boyfriend a whole new wardrobe because the old one was looking a little—” He paused to add air quotes for emphasis. “—passé.”

Lucien winced and hoped Tamlin hadn’t overheard. “Touché.”

Alex continued, “It’s not like I haven’t tried, you know? It’s just…” He looked away and sighed. “I just wanted to make her happy.”

Lucien knew exactly how he felt. After all, hadn’t he done the same with Jessie, and now Tamlin? It seemed to be the Vanserra way… Not that they’d learned it from their father, or anything.

When his brother didn’t continue, Lucien prompted gently, “And is she? You know, happy?”

“I thought she was,” Alex groused, glaring at the red-and-gold Christmas tree as if it was to blame. “Until she accused me of having yet another affair.” He snorted. “It’s not my fault that Dad’s been keeping me late at the office, and now I have to deal with this stupid audit, too.”

Lucien looked toward the kitchen, but his boyfriend stayed hidden. He wondered how much Tamlin had overheard, how much he really knew. Since it wasn’t the time or place to discuss it, he asked his brother, “So, you came here, of all places, to prove you’re not having an affair?”

“You know I’m not,” Alex said chidingly. “Do you really think I could do better than Ianthe?” He held up his hand. “Don’t answer that.”

Lucien obediently closed his mouth, though he was tempted to do otherwise.

Ianthe was quite beautiful, but something about her had always rubbed Lucien the wrong way. Whether it was her bottle blonde hair or the way she would sidle up to him at every family event, offering to read his palm or massage his shoulders or otherwise invade his personal space, she never struck him as the most sincere, dearly devoted wife.

“Besides,” Alex continued. “Ianthe likes you.”

Lucien wanted to snort: I noticed, but his brother’s sad smile made him pause.

“I just figured that if she ever tried to call,” Alex said with an apologetic shrug, “you could tell her that I was here, and that I’m telling the truth.”

Lucien sighed and shook his head. “She’s not going to call, man.”

“You don’t know that. She might.”

“But she won’t,” Lucien insisted. “And even if she did, I would just hang up on her.”

“What? Why would you do that?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Yes, I do. You brought it up.”

Lucien wished he hadn’t. His sister-in-law seemed convinced that if his aura were cleansed or if he meditated and got in touch with his true self—whatever that meant—then he could find real love. Somehow he suspected she meant with a woman, but he couldn’t prove it.

“I just don’t think she should be calling me when she should be calling you,” Lucien said, trying to avoid an argument. “You said she was giving you the cold shoulder. What’s that all about?”

Alex rolled his shoulders, looking uncomfortable. “I don’t know. It’s just… one of her moons, I guess,” he muttered.

Lucien looked at him askance. “Did you say: Moods or moons?”

“Moons. You know, like astronomy.”

Lucien’s brows shot up. “You mean like astrology?”

“Yeah, that,” Alex agreed. “So, apparently our charts aren’t ‘in alignment’—whatever that means—so now she has to cleanse the house or whatever before we can have sex again.”

Lucien wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“What? I’m just trying to make her happy,” Alex chided. “And you know what they say: A happy wife makes a happy life. Besides—” His voice lowered in pitch. “—once she’s done feng shui-ing, she going to realign our chakras, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh my god,” Lucien groaned. “You’re so pathetic.”

“Hey,” Alex said sharply. “I didn’t ask for your commentary. If you’re going to be like that, I’m going to leave.”

“Hey. Maybe you should.”

Before Alex could retort, Tamlin cleared his throat nearby.

The Vanserra brothers turned to see him standing behind them, holding two dark brown coffee mugs. “Sorry, I, uh—Here. Decaf, two sugars,” he said quickly, offering a mug to Alex.

Alex frowned, but not at him. “Thanks,” he mumbled, and accepted the steaming mug without drinking.

Lucien caught Tamlin’s concerned glance and shrugged apologetically.

To his surprise, Tamlin set down his coffee to reach into his back pocket. At the sight of the worn leather wallet, Lucien thought he might be pulling out some money for Alex to get a hotel—which he was not about to allow—but instead Tamlin pulled out a business card.

“I know I shouldn’t have eavesdropped,” Tamlin began hesitantly, showing Alex the card. “But I thought you might like to give my friend a call. He, uh, specializes in this kind of thing.”

Still frowning, Alex accepted the card and looked it over. “We put the private in private eye,” he read aloud, then snorted rudely. “What would I need a private eye for? I already know where my money went, and it’s sitting in my living room.”

Lucien looked at Tamlin with wide eyes. Why would he be bringing this up now? Was he finally coming clean about what he did for a living?

Tamlin winced. “It’s just… in my experience, when one person accuses the other of doing something wrong, it’s because they feel guilty,” he explained. “I mean, if your wife is accusing you of cheating when you’re actually not, where is that idea coming from?”

Lucien’s brows rose as he thought it over. It was a reasonable enough question. It made some awful kind of sense, considering how touchy-feely Ianthe was. He wondered why the idea hadn’t occurred to him before, but, then again, he didn’t work for a private eye.

“I’m not trying to suggest that your wife is actually cheating on you,” Tamlin said quickly. “I only meant that—oh, god, I’m not good at this,” he mumbled. He rubbed his neck and took a deep breath. “It’s just… It might give you some peace of mind… to find out for sure.”

Lucien looked at his brother. Alex had turned a peculiar shade of red, and, considering how many shades of red there were in the family, that was saying something.

“I don’t need peace of mind, because my wife isn’t cheating on me,” Alex said coldly. “Who the hell do you think you are, anyway?”

Tamlin froze.

“Easy,” Lucien tried to say, but Alex ignored him.

“Ianthe and I have been married for five years, and I’ve known you for all of five minutes. I don’t care what you—or your fucking private eye pal—thinks, okay? Just because you know what my brother’s dick tastes like doesn’t make you a fucking expert on all things fucking Vanserra.”

“Hey.” Lucien inserted himself between them. “That is enough,” he told Alex sternly. “This is my place, and you don’t talk to my boyfriend like that.” He pointed at the door. “Apologize, or get the hell out. I mean it.”

Alex only scowled and turned redder. Remarkably, Tamlin tried to apologize in his stead.

“It’s okay, Lu. It was my fault—”

“No. It wasn’t,” Lucien said, giving him a reproving look. “You were just trying to help. If my brother stopped thinking with his dick once in a while, he would have understood that.”

“Lu,” Alex began, but Lucien cut him off.

“No. You don’t talk to me. You talk to Tam,” he said, pointing at him. “And unless it’s an apology, I don’t want to fucking hear it.”

Alex’s jaw clenched as he considered his brother’s ultimatum. As he ducked his head to set his undrunk coffee down on the table, Lucien thought he might actually pack up and leave without another word. It would serve him right if it turned out Ianthe was cheating on him. But of course, nobody wanted to be right in that scenario.

“Look,” Alex began, then pressed his palms together and took a deep breath. “I didn’t mean what I said… about the whole dick-sucking thing,” he told Tamlin ruefully. “I have nothing against guys who—you know. Um, I mean I like having my—uh… too, so…”

Lucien arched an eyebrow, but Tamlin actually chuckled.

“It’s okay. I think I know what you’re trying to say,” Tamlin offered politely.

Alex’s face was no longer red, but it was rather pink. “God, I hope so,” he muttered, then spread his hands apologetically. “Listen, I am sorry. I shouldn’t have lost my temper,” he said. “If you saw my wife, you’d understand why this is hard for me…”

As an aside to Tamlin, Lucien muttered, “She’s really not that hot.”

“Hey,” Alex chided.

“What? I’m just saying on a scale of bitch to beauty queen—”

“Lucien. Do you mind?” Alex glared at him. “I’m trying to apologize to your friend here.”

“Boy-friend, Alex. He’s my boyfriend. Say it with me—”

“Okay, okay. He’s your boyfriend, I get it,” Alex conceded impatiently. “May I continue now, please?”

Lucien raised his hands in mock surrender, but remained ready to step in if the need arose.

Alex sighed before returning his attention to Tamlin. “Like I was saying, I know my wife and I have hit a couple of rough patches, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. You were just trying to help, and I can respect that.” He stuck out his hand. “Grith? Uh, it means ‘grip,’ to make peace.”

Tamlin didn’t take long to accept. “Yeah. Okay,” he agreed, shaking Alex’s hand firmly. “Uh, grith, I guess.” As he dropped his hand, he asked Alex, “So you speak Scythian, too?”

Lucien chuckled. “More like Show Off-ian,” he quipped. “Alex went to Vallahan once on his honeymoon and he thinks he knows the language.”

“Oh, like you don’t sprinkle Scythian into everyday conversation like glitter at a drag show,” Alex shot back, but he was starting to smile.

Before Lucien could retort, Tamlin smothered a laugh beside him.

“That’s true, Lu,” Tamlin said, lips twitching. “You actually do kind of do that, a lot.”

“Hey.” Lucien let out a surprised laugh as his cheeks began to burn. “Whose side are you on, anyway?”

“Yours,” Tamlin said quickly, then kissed his cheek. “Of course, yours.”

Lucien couldn’t even pretend to be angry as he slipped his arm around Tamlin’s waist. “All right, then,” he declared, nestling against him as Tamlin’s arm came to rest around his shoulders. “You’re forgiven.”

Even if Alex didn’t think anything of it, this was the first time Tamlin had initiated affection with someone else watching. Lucien was over the moon.

“You two are cute,” Alex said with a wry smile as he gestured between the two of them. “I mean, he’s not my type, but he’s cute.”

“That’s because his blond hair is real,” Lucien quipped.

“Now don’t start that again,” Alex warned playfully.

Lucien chuckled. “All right, all right,” he conceded with a shrug, “but notice how easy that was to settle our differences?” He patted Tamlin’s chest. “I didn’t kick him out because he hurt my feelings. Ianthe should take notes.”

Alex’s smile faded as his gaze fell to the business card in his hand. “That still doesn’t mean she’s cheating,” he said quietly.

“Maybe not, but I think Tam’s got a point,” Lucien remarked. “Why are you always the guilty one in this scenario?” He pointed at the card and added, “Now you’ve got a way to find out.”

Alex’s jaw tightened. “I don’t want to hurt her,” he said reluctantly.

“What do you think she’s doing to you?” Lucien countered. “Besides, if she really cared about you, she wouldn’t kick you out every time her moon was out of orbit.”

Alex frowned again at the card. “I just don’t like the idea of spying on my wife…”

“Actually, you wouldn’t be doing any spying,” Tamlin explained. “It’s called surveillance. And that’s Jurian’s job. I-I mean—” His cheeks turned pink as he caught Lucien’s eye. “Yeah. Same Jurian. Sorry.”

Lucien gave him a sad half-smile and nudged him. “You could have told me.”

Tamlin’s blush deepened as he shrugged. “It’s complicated,” he muttered.

Lucien wanted to ask him what was so complicated about doing surveillance for a living, but before he could, he noticed his brother watching them.

Alex gestured between them. “Should I leave you two alone, or…?”

“You know, that’s probably—” Lucien tried to say, but Tamlin’s “No” was more forceful.

Lucien gave him a confused frown, and Tamlin gave him an apologetic shrug in return.

“I’m sorry. I know it’s your place, but…” Tamlin whispered, then addressed Alex, too. “It’s just, in my experience, the idea of infidelity can come as a shock. It would be better if you could stay with friends or loved ones until you’ve had some time to adjust.”

Alex frowned. “Are you suggesting that I’m…?”

“I’m not suggesting anything,” Tamlin said quickly. “You just shouldn’t be alone. That’s all.”

Alex sighed and looked away as he considered this, and so did Lucien.

Even though it would be the end of their romantic evening, Tamlin had made a very good point.

“All right,” Lucien announced tiredly. “Give me your keys,” he told Alex.

“What? Why?”

“So that you don’t drive off in the middle of the night to try to catch Ianthe in the act.”

Alex’s hand went defensively to his coat pocket. “I wasn’t going to…”

Lucien’s brows flicked up as he gestured with his fingers. “Give.”

Alex grimaced. “Fine,” he muttered, then tossed the keys into Lucien’s outstretched palm.

“It’s just for tonight,” Lucien said, pocketing them. “But if Ianthe keeps this up, you really should go stay with Mom. She’ll understand. She might even bake cookies.”

Alex made a face and ran a hand through his shaggy red hair. “I still think it’s pathetic,” he muttered.

“No more pathetic than staying married to a man who constantly cheated on you, and would take everything in the divorce because he could afford a fancy lawyer and she couldn’t,” Lucien countered. When his brother didn’t respond, he continued, “You don’t have to put up with it like Mom did. Just think about it. That’s all I’m saying.”

Tamlin’s arm was still around his shoulders, so Lucien could feel the weight of his heavy sigh.

“Wow,” Tamlin murmured.

“Yeah,” Lucien murmured back. “Now that’s complicated.”

Alex sighed too. “All right. One night,” he said, slipping Tamlin’s card into his pocket. He nodded at both Lucien and Tamlin and managed a sad, but grateful smile. “Thanks.”

* * *

“I’m sorry about tonight.”

Tamlin glanced up from fastening the mother-of-pearl buttons on his new pajamas. He met Lucien’s reflected gaze in the wide bathroom mirror and asked, “Why? I thought it was nice.”

Lucien sighed as he looked away to gather up his hair into his usual half-ponytail. He grimaced at his reflection and said, “Well, it was, before my brother showed up.”

“Well, it was really nice of you to let him stay,” Tamlin offered, pulling his own hair free from his satin collar and smoothing it out.

“Nice,” Lucien echoed, securing his topknot. “You know what? I’ll tell you what’s nice.” He turned around to lean against the bathroom counter, but not before hooking a finger into Tamlin’s waistband. “The way you look in those super sexy green pajamas. Now that’s nice.”

Tamlin let out a shy chuckle as he rested his hands on Lucien’s T-shirted waist. “So you don’t think I look like a walking, talking Christmas tree?”

“Mm, maybe a little,” Lucien said with a sly half-wink. “But it wouldn’t matter, because I’m pretty sure there’s a song that goes, ‘There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, Than underneath my Christmas tree’…”

His lips met Tamlin’s in a slow, lingering kiss.

“I’m pretty sure you made that up,” Tamlin said breathlessly.

“So what if I did,” Lucien murmured, then stole another kiss. His hands slid underneath Tamlin’s satin shirt.

“So… you’re saying you want me on top?”

“Mm-hmm…”

“With your brother in the next room?”

“Dammit.” Lucien’s head fell back with a disappointed chuckle, then he reluctantly slid his hands free to straighten Tamlin’s collar. “You see? This is why I don’t have family over. Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve gotten laid?”

Tamlin blinked against the fog as he tried to guess. “You mean before last night?”

“I meant since last night. That’s almost twenty-four hours. That’s way too long,” Lucien said with a wry smile. He pushed himself away from the counter and gave Tamlin a light, playful shove. “Now go on, before I rip open all those buttons and ruin your expensive new pajamas.”

Blushing madly, Tamlin retreated to let him finish his business.

The door to the living room was closed, leaving him alone in Lucien’s luxurious bedroom. The bed was freshly made, and the low lamplight twinkled in the reflection of the large television screen on the opposite wall. The plush carpet was soft and clean under his bare feet, and to top it off he was dressed in green satin. It was like a dream. Even after spending the weekend here, it still didn’t feel real.

“I’m sorry,” Lucien said from the doorway. He was rubbing something on his face. “Were you done in here? I didn’t mean to kick you out or anything.”

“No. No, it’s fine,” Tamlin said, then gestured to the spacious room. “I’m just… admiring the view.”

Lucien smiled. “Same here,” he said warmly, then nodded at the bed. “Get settled. I’ll be right there.”

Tamlin sighed wistfully as Lucien disappeared again.

Alex had said he was going to stay up for a while and read in front of the fireplace, but… how much could he really hear? No matter how much Tamlin wanted to thank Lucien for everything he had done, he didn’t want anyone else to overhear that particular ‘conversation’. It was private.

So it was just as well that Tamlin was beginning to drift off by the time Lucien made it out of the bathroom.

“Hey, you’re not falling asleep on me, are you, Tam?” Lucien asked softly, standing above him.

Tamlin groaned as he stretched one arm above his head, then smiled lazily up at him. “Actually, I was kind of hoping you’d fall asleep on me.”

Lucien’s slow grin was a thing of beauty. “Is that right?” Rather than walking around to his side of the bed, Lucien reached for the covers to slide underneath them, and on top of him. “It’s my turn, anyway.”

Tamlin was wide awake now. “Oh, I just meant to sleep.”

“And we will. Eventually.”

It was difficult to breathe now, and not because Lucien was straddling him.

“Your brother’s in the next room,” he tried to protest, but Lucien was already sliding his smooth, freshly lotioned hands around Tamlin’s neck.

“I don’t care,” Lucien murmured, then bent his head and kissed him, deeply.

Tamlin’s resistance was hanging on by a thread when Lucien rolled with him into the center of the bed. “Look, it’s not that I don’t want to—Oh, god…”

Lucien nipped his jaw again. “Uh-huh?”

“I—I just don’t know if I can get it up—”

Between kisses, Lucien managed, “I can help with that.”

Tamlin shuddered as Lucien’s hand slid between them. “But—but your brother—”

Lucien paused with his fingers inside Tamlin’s waistband. His ragged breaths were hot against Tamlin’s neck as he murmured, “Do you want me to stop?”

No. Tamlin swallowed hard. “I think maybe we should.”

Lucien sighed, but he dutifully removed his hand as he slid off to slump against the pillows. “Alex owes me big time,” he muttered, staring up at the ceiling as he ran a hand over his hair.

Tamlin sighed, too, and rolled onto his side. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. And he was.

He liked the sensation of Lucien’s fingers against his bare skin. He liked kissing him, and being kissed. He was sorry they couldn’t do more, but he didn’t think he could face Alex in the morning otherwise.

“It’s okay,” Lucien said, turning his head with a wry half-smile. “I get to have you all to myself tomorrow. I can wait.”

Tamlin smiled, both in relief and in fondness. He reached out to smooth the long auburn hair from Lucien’s neck, and left his hand there to stroke his boyfriend’s cheek with his thumb. “How did I get so lucky?” he murmured.

“If I ever find out who put our names together for our old dorm, I want to send them a goddamn Christmas card,” Lucien said, grinning, but his smile softened as he covered Tamlin’s hand with his own. “I can’t imagine those first couple of years without you.”

“Me, neither.” Tamlin glanced around the large, elegant bedroom. “I certainly never imagined it would come to this.”

“What, the bigger bed or the gay sex?” Lucien’s teasing grin was back.

Tamlin blushed. He couldn’t help it. “Both.”

“Yeah.” Lucien’s gaze grew distant as he shifted closer to play with Tamlin’s top button.

Tamlin tried not to imagine his slender fingers working their way down… “Hey, so, uh… Did you ever get another roommate, or…?”

“One. But he didn’t stick around for more than a couple weeks, so… It was just me. Me and the books.” Lucien smiled sadly to himself. “Anyway, I ended up moving into an off-campus apartment for my senior year… The rest of the High Lords were already moving on… Studying, graduating, settling down… It just wasn’t the same, you know?”

Tamlin sighed. “I’m really sorry,” he whispered.

“You don’t have to be. We’re together now, and that’s what matters,” Lucien said reassuringly, then leaned forward and kissed him, gently and slowly.

Tamlin was ready to say: I changed my mind; let’s do this, but Lucien had already pulled away.

“Sorry. You already asked me to stop, so… We’d probably better do something else to keep our minds off of… this.”

Tamlin took a deep breath and tucked his lips inside his mouth as he considered his answer. “Yeah, I’m not very tired, though,” he managed.

“Me, neither. How about a movie?”

Tamlin found himself nodding, although reluctantly. “Sure.”

Lucien sat up, found the remote, and began flipping through the channels. “Lots of holiday stuff,” he mused. “‘Tis the season,” he joked.

Tamlin chuckled and propped his head up on his hand to watch. “Yeah, my mom loved stuff like this. Christmas and all.”

Lucien paused on an old Technicolor holiday musical. “How about this?”

Tamlin wrinkled his nose. “Nah. I’m not really in the mood.” He still missed his mom too much to enjoy it.

“Hmm.” Lucien tried another channel. “Uh… sports highlights?”

His wincing smile made Tamlin laugh. “No. Thanks, but that’s Jurian’s thing, not mine.”

“Okay, good.” Lucien smirked as he pressed another button. “I was going to be bored to tears, otherwise.”

Tamlin chuckled and laid his hand on Lucien’s thigh. “Pick something you want.”

Lucien’s gaze flicked between Tamlin’s hand and his face, then he looked away and blew out his cheeks. “Besides you?” he murmured.

“What?”

“Ah-ha,” Lucien declared, and turned up the volume. “A movie about dinosaurs eating people. Perfect.”

Tamlin smiled bemusedly as he watched the helicopter on the screen descend into a vast jungle while triumphant trumpets played. “Hey, isn’t this the one where Jeff Goldblum takes his shirt off?”

“Oh, yeah. I guess it is.” Lucien chuckled nervously and lifted the remote. “You want me to change it?”

“No, don’t be silly,” Tamlin said, nestling against him. “I love the score.”

“Yeah,” Lucien murmured, slipping his arm around Tamlin’s shoulders. “Me, too.”

It had been years since he’d seen the movie, but the music was like coming home… to Lucien.

Every time the music swelled, Tamlin found his fingers moving in time with the rhythm, whether it was the brass or the woodwinds or the strings. It was like he was in the orchestra again, before it all went wrong…

“Hey.” Lucien nudged him. “You okay?”

Tamlin lifted his head from Lucien’s chest. “Hmm? Yeah, I just…” He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. Was I bothering you?”

Lucien chuckled and extracted Tamlin’s fingers, which were clutching at his shirt. “Not at all,” he said, lifting his hand to his lips. “I told you that you could practice on me anytime, remember?”

Tamlin blushed as he realized he had been tapping the rhythm on Lucien’s chest, before the memories took him somewhere… else.

“Yeah,” he rasped. “Just tell me if it gets annoying. I wasn’t thinking, so…”

“Hey. You’re not annoying me, Tam,” Lucien assured him, then kissed his hand again. “I promise.”

Tamlin nodded, but he wasn’t convinced.

Lucien must have sensed this, for he shifted down in bed to face Tamlin directly.

“Even when you kept me up until four am, I really didn’t mind.”

Tamlin scoffed, but he found himself smiling. “Somehow I doubt that.”

Lucien smirked, but not in a mean way. “I’ll admit that it took some getting used to,” he teased, “but after a while I found that I needed music to get to sleep.” His smile faded. “With you gone… Well, let’s just say I’ve had a lot of sleepless nights. Until now, anyway.”

Tamlin couldn’t find the words to say how he felt in that moment, so instead he slipped his hand around Lucien’s neck and kissed him. And then kissed him again.

Lucien sounded out of breath as his fingers traveled down Tamlin’s open collar. “If my brother wasn’t in the next room…”

Breathing hard, Tamlin didn’t hesitate. “So turn up the volume.”

Lucien’s shocked—and delighted—expression was unmistakable in the light of the television screen. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

With the volume turned up, the remote was tossed onto the foot of the bed, followed by Tamlin’s shirt, then Lucien’s… and then everything else.

#we're just going to pretend this update isn't two months late #i will finish this before new years #i must #my writing #my fanfiction #tamlin x lucien #tamcien #acotar fanfiction #acotar fanfic

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