#i want to expain my feels for them

[flowermodd]

Yui's endurement living with Sakamaki's/Mukami's/Tsukinami's/Kino

To understand about Yui's situation, we have to take some criterias in consideration and that her fate couldn't be changed, no matter the outcome.

So in that analysis, I will take some factors around Yui and then to the topic.

Sacrificial Bride and having Cordelia's heart

The one factor that could had being avoided, but we all know that there was one problem: Cordelia's heart. That demonic heart that doesn't alow Yui's fate to be changed, no matter what she want to do with her life

We can easly blame on two specific vampires: Richter (the one responsable to put Cordelia's heart inside of Yui's body) and Karlheinz (the masterminder of Adam and Eve project).

Living with Seiji Komori, the priest

Another factor has to be on her adoptive father, Seiji. Yui might lived alone for the most of her life, which that expains why she acts like she didn't had any role model to look up to.

Might Yui thought that she will go to live by herself and leaving anything behind her when she will be 18. Yui never exepected to be sent to Sakamaki Mansion and leaving with them. Never expecting that vampires are actualy real.

The endurement

In the first game (Hunted Dark Bridal) and season 1 of anime, Yui was sent to live with Sakamaki brothers, not even knowing that they are Do-S vampires and could be cruel to her. Yui was forced to be live in this ever ending circle of constant punishments, blood drinking, harassment, insults etc.

Even in MORE, BLOOD amd season 2 shows the exact same thing happen, but is more like who is going to have Yui instead and some kidnapping stuff. If I had to say one thing that Sakamaki's and Mukami's hand in comon is that they want to became Adam, to make Yui their Eve. The second being to became more powerful and to rule Makai.

The same thing could be said even in Dark fate: another family add. In Tsukunami's case is to try to force Yui to carry many Founder children as soon as possible and even tortured her worst then other two families combinate.

Kino also shows a huge ego (similar with Ayato) and at first disrespected Yui, expecting that everyone to do for him (I'm sory but I'm not that familiar with Kino).

Yui was disrespected by those boys and yet, she treated them with kindness. The boys fall in love with her despite what they did to her makes me feel (some moments) unconfortable. If I had to chose which family could be considetate normal is imposible. Why? Because the way they treated Yui, but also they had their own trauma which let them intro that path.

Yui has her owns trauma and yet, she doesn't let that anger to comsume her and define her nature. The boys have their own trauma and pass those down to Yui, to make her suffer without an explanation is why they do this to her. Two sides in the the same coin.

The hate from fans

I feel that hate that Yui had from fans years ago is so wrong. Just because they say "Yui is annoying" or "Yui is a pick me girl". STFU and put yourself in her shoes and then regret later for your words!

I will protect Yui until my last breath because she deserved better then those boys!

Yui did nothing wrong. She is a girl that wants to be loved. She fate was sealed since from the beganing (her birth), was neglected by Seiji, sent to Sakamaki Mansion, she endured that pain from all fronts. All because of Karlheinz's stupid exepriment

[l3st1b0urn3s-707]

Remember how I read so many books in such little time in November? Yeah, so, I kinda hadn't read anything since then. Until now, and I'm here to talk about probably the best graphic novel I've read this year.

I don't think I've talked that much about it here, but I really love comic, manga, graphic novels in general or just books with illustrations. I love drawing and I've always wanted to be a writer since I was a kid, and it's a combination of two of the things I like the most, so I try to read and treasure as many comics as I can find.

So, this time I read The magic fish by Trung Le Nguyen. The first time I saw it the cover catched my attention instantly, because the artstyle is so beautiful, which is shown further in the story as you go trough the pages. The book's about a 13 year old boy, who was born in America and has vietnamese parents, and doesn't know how to tell them he's gay in their language. However, one of the best ways he has to communivate with his mom is by reading fairytales together. The amazing story, mixed with the tales Tien and his mom read together and the gorgeous illustrations, make everything feel even more magical.

I don't really know what else to say about it, really. Being queer, I love reading books about queer characters, and this one really got me. It expains Tien's frustration in such a perfect way, and in the same time fascinates you with the stories he's reading. I couldn't stop reading, and it made me a bit emotional. As I said, it's probably the best comic I've read this year, I loved every aspect of it.

[leisureflame]

I have stumbled into a Dillema about flashback. My story reached a flashblack part . I want to ask how would be better to approch it .This flashback sets of chain of events for the character. But should it be just remembering of them or actually living though the actual flashback ? I know is confuzing but i trying my best to expain it . English is not my native and i am

Oooh I love this question because i am also writing a book that relies heavily on a flashback!

personally I think that if the book relies on a flashback or an event that happened before the book, the flashback should be shown at the beginning, as a prologue but write it in a way without introducing any characters or names or places or anything, so the reader is a bit unclear. this is good because you dont want the reader to understand this flashback just yet, instead, they should make connections to it as they read the actual book. in addition, add little mini flashbacks, but very brief, more like a quick flash of memory.

there is so much more i want to add because flashbacks are one of my favorite topics in writing, but i would need to know a little bit more about your plot in order to give better advice so if you want, feel free to message me!

[caps-clever-girl]

Okay I'm going slightly wild because I think I know your opinions on the mainstream ships - don't feel the need to do all of these 😆

Robin/Thomas

Kitty/Mary/Annie

Julian/Fanny

Robin/Cap

Cap/Mike

I ABSOLUTELY answered all of these and you did actually include one of my fave rarepairs in this jkjshdfkj THANK YOU!!!!!! Ship game here!

Fell in love with this pairing in the peach milk fic, i CANNOT EXPAIN this??? But i just lve how soft robin can be and i think thomas would do well with that. Also having someone who’s a bit more blase about monogamy could help thomas calm down a bit with how obsessive he is (or it could of course backfire and make him sad :c ) also i feel robins pranking/little shit-ness could go well with toms dramatics IF he let himself.

This one was DIFFICULT. I love burnt bread ok annie/mary is absolute soulmate shit. Its funny bc at the start of ghosts i did think kitty/mary was very cute, but between a growing fondness for kitmas and my LOVE for annie/mary i lost interest. I personally perfer this trio as annie/mary and their bestie kitty? But i do think the potential is cute as fuck and i an happy to be convinced of an ot3!!!!!!

I FUCKING LOVE JULIAN FANNY AND I WANT THEM TO BANG. I WANT THEM TO BANG A LOT. I WANT FANNY TO FINALLY SHOW HER TRUE HORNY COLOURS AND I WANT IT TO BE WITH JULIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously i fucking love these two as an item, they were giving VIBES in s4 and i want those vibes to continue in s5 DESPERATELY. I think they get on so well when they arent insulting eachother (and when they are) like they’re both smart and can go toe to toe with eachother. And fanny is soooo repressed, i think she should unleash that and finally be her horny self and who better to do that with than julian? Yes he’s an ass but there is a chance he actually knows his stuff. Repressed posh horndog x huge manslut <3. The concept of these two send me so bonkers. I dont think its romantic, though i would not be opposed to seeing that develop, but i do think they would become besties with nasty benefits. Enemies to lovers, to Frenemies to lovers, to besties to lovers.

CAP AND ROBIN CAP AND ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!! 100% a case of have 2 fave characters? Ship them! Its a shame bc they have SUCH little interraction in canon :( i cry about that every day. But i think they would work and actually work WELL. Robin not only lets cap infodump about weaponry but he’s interested in it!! And again, robin is a little shit but he is also a soft bitch. He would be patient with cap, but in particular because sexuality doesnt really bother him?? (Twas simply not really a concept in is day) he has like…. idk how to explain it but like he has no kid gloves around cap navigating himself. He just says it how it is. He doesnt go overboard with encouragement or praises but its clear that he cares and that he understands its hard for cap?? Yeah?? And cap would appreciate that. Cap can go at whatever pace he wants, talk as much or as little abt it as he wants and robin wouldnt pester him, but would be VERY helpful if cap did need it. PLUS!!! They are nature boys. Tell me they would not spend HOURS out on the grounds looking at birds. Robin would show cap his mouse family and cap would LOVE it, and in turn he would show Robin the ants and robin would be intrigued by the fact insects can be organised and have jobs. Robin would teach him about the animals from his time and cap would be so interested. They would absolutely watch nature docs together. And robin would watch weaponry docs with him (not neccesarily war docs themselves). They would both spend hours watching How Its Made vids. God i love them. So so much.

Ok my opinion on cap/mike. I do love the concept of this, but i do believe its one sided? Its hard to imagine mike falling for a ghost in general bc he cant see or interract with them in any way (hence i dont mind robin/julian/mike bc they kind of can have a bit of a chat and a joke). HOWEVER cap is canonically attracted to mike at the start of the series so hell yeah if that continued and developed that would be so good. The consequences of him being in love with mike would be excellent at any stage - pre-realisation of his sexuality would be incredible to watch, and it would maybe help him realise. It would be interesting to compare an infatuation with mike to one with havers and see the differences, esp if mike was mid/post realisation. I do think mike would be good mates tho. Just a vibe i have. I would love to see them interract so much. ALSO!!!!! I think the paralell of cap and fanny both having a thing for mike would be SO FUCKING FUNNY. Both of them sat bitching about it like “why me” “why me? Why HIM?” And “he lifted that box of silverware the other day and i fell through a wall.”

[pizza-games-and-more]

I want to get my lingering feelings about what happened last night out of the way while also expaining my last post and apologising to you all while it’s still in my mind.

I’m sorry if this post upsets anyone but it’ll be over after this and I’ll get back to my usual thing so don’t worry.

So last night I got a pretty rude comment on one of my posts and I didn’t know how to respond to it so I checked the commenter’s blog.

Every post they had made was negative and/or hostile and as I mentioned I’m terrified of hostility even when not directed towards me, so I panicked and blocked them.

But then I got scared that blocking them would only cause them to become more aggressive or something like that, so in my conflict I wrote a bit of a vague venting post about it in hopes it’d calm me down.

I don’t even know if they were just being rude or if there genuinely was something harmful with my post, so I didn’t delete it.

I was in a call on Discord with my friends at the time and when I heard their voices that normally brought me joy, it instead sent me into overload, which was not helped by my fever and stomach pains from that day.

So I left the call and tried to go to sleep. I woke up a few times before finally waking up refreshed.

And today, when talking to my boyfriend, I was reminded of all this and decided to write about it in detail before calming myself down with the cute octopus videos he’d sent me (which I appreciate a lot).

I’m sorry for freaking out so badly and I thought explaining it while it was still in my mind would help both me and you guys. If it didn’t help you to understand I’m sorry.

Thank you for listening.

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

7.2.24 Tuesday

2:50 am

Still,have windblow...

Still,having headache.... It is weird that I suddenly wanna open my Tagged to go live then I can't open it... Hmm.... Even my Tagged they took away or stole... It is totally bullshit and unfair...

I feel bitterish and hurt... People of INC or church of christ ??? Are smashing me or some other faker group of people...

I'm still hurting about these things... They just took away my life since 2007 and I can't accept them....They wanted to be me and they are able to be me but stealing away everything from me like my life,my pesonality,some of my good old friends and my bf's are totally unfair!

I can't open my Tagged via Facebook or Google....Weird! 17 years please stop smashing me too much of being me ...Too much of taking away my happiness...

I just wanna embrace my cousin-white... It is selfish not to be known but I will love him...

9:57 am

Uncle DD and Aunt Karen dropped by quickly here then went away again... They just talked to Harvey for something...

10:25 am

Still,have windblow...

I feel bitterish....There are so many people here in Cavite who took away my glow or my thunder "for so long"...

I hate them for smashing me without a fair fight....

10:59 am

Still,have windblow...

I feel jealous coz I'm alone...

If someone took my love without a fair fight in-front of me, I hope I have good angels to kill that whoever stole my love without a fair fight!

11:30 am

Still,have windblow...

I don't know, it is my dream to have a cubby hole or nook in the house or my cafe spot with a window on its side...

I have so many dreams and they took it all away even my love... I feel bitterish!!!

17 years you took it away from me without a fair fight!

I really want this in the house... It relaxes my soul... I really want it, in the house and my coffee...

It is cubby-hole or my niche in the house...

I'm not acting here but when my maturity went to a real mature adult... I can't expain my inner emotion why I wanna have this in my house, 17 years passed us by for nothing...

They took away my life... I can't expain the happiness if I have it in the house.

3:25 pm

Hmm.... Who is this TP Angel?

Uppish people... But I'm with Sir Jay.... I need to do my medical but I'm still looking for money...

It looks like on the hunt this TP Angel..

3:32 pm

I'm having headache angels... This is not my ideal life with my Uncle's can't assist me on other things and there are people who are on the movement to damage my entire future...

6:07 pm

Still,have windblow...

I hate that fucking Burger, my fake half-sister on my biological mother who is with "Moises Miranda" now on their fb profile and very cutie together with a NECKTIE! Iw!!! MARRIED? WOW!!!

I hate it coz they can be cutie2x again and always stealing my thunder!

Hmm.... Interesting that "Moises Miranda's Profile" can't get a screenshots??? Wow! Cavite State Univerisity computer nerd??? Hmmm...

6:45 pm

Still,have windblow...

I need to find money to do my medical angels... I'm super stressed-out, I feel that my muscle on my entire body is squeezing and I feel like vomiting due to stress...

I need to keep on doing stretching coz my S-bones are still aching... I feel like vomiting...

6:48 pm

I wanna be stronger than my bf like on my "cousin-white" but situation like this I need a lift... I feel bullshit, I feel like collapsing.... And literally but I have to control...

7:40 pm

I feel so down, I'm thinking only of my cousin-white or Garret for something... But reality wise, I wanna have my cousin-white, I feel like killing every woman that will come near him wherever he is... I don't know, it is my pride... I want my cousin-white... I feel like suiciding if someone is trapping me that I don't know but definitely will do it live on any social media...

It's been a long time this trap and it hurts me so much... I'm waiting for so long and nothing happen for 17 years...

It is unfair that they just got all my friends or some friends are fake on hiding something...

It is so unfair... I wasn't able to enjoy or being a star to feel pretty or to have success... They just got my 17 years... I wasn't able to gain upper friends, I'm always trap here in Cavite.

Hating some old friends who are fakers, who had an agenda to trap me for so long for them to compete me.... My deep inside is irritated!

I wasn't able to do my abs for 17 years, they just trap me, then whoever is that fucking guy who wanted to trap me and appear that he is greater than me that I didn't know him or didn't ask anything from him... What he did was unfair... He didn't let me grow... I wasn't able to enjoy my starbucks moments for 17 years that supposed to be I'm there everyday,drinking my frap or fruit juices my shallow happiness or everyday ordering... I wasn't able to travel as well even here like going to ilocos to see sand-dunes.

My cousin-white can be greater than me but if he will not take me then I want a pull down... Garret can go up but I want a balance on something that I wanted them blackened if they feel super handsome...

I don't want Borgy and Mitch to be wealthy without my approval!

8:55 pm

I'm so stressed-out in life... My deep inside is crying...

9:11 pm

Oh! God extend my life and the good people one me...

I'm super stress....Super stress...

9:20 pm

Uncle Jun is reacting negatively on the wet floor in the kitchen and blaming it on me... Not my ideal life oh! GOD HEAR ME, not my ideal life with my Uncle Jun or DD....

Oh! God hear me, I don't deserve this... I'm so stress he is shouting on me again and again...

It came from the ref....and the tube under the kitchen there is a hole on it and there are so many rats.... It is not my ideal life that he is shouting on me angels...

17 years too much of being together here and that attitude is on and off and no progress at all... He always dropped me down, one of the reasons nobody wants me...

Can someone kill Uncle Jun for the better world???

[arleneworld22]

Today, yesterday and other days

Today I decide to wear my favorite coat to be more comfy at work, it’s light and a little long and color gray, it reminds me of Harry Potter’s cap. I worked for first time in months at the pharmacy and at the beginning I made many mistakes but after the first hour I started to get it so it wasn’t too bad, I like my co-workers of there because they are very nice to me, there are 3 women, I like to think about them like the superpowerful girls, Betty is Blossom, red hair, kind of bossy, very communicative with the patients and focus on her work, Perla is Buttercup, kind of serious, carefree personality, calm and a little abrupt, but she is very patient with me, I think of her like a “senpai” she is very attentive with me, most of the time she trained me when I started there; and then America, she is the sweetest person I meet in the whole hospital, she has personality of preschool teacher, very kind, sweet voice, veeey kind x2, patient and loving, you really feel safe with her. Btw two patients gifted us snack bars to all the workers there… well thinking about it better, I think those were to America and she shared with us, well it was delicious anyway.

Today I listened your playlist when I finished my exercise, when I was cooking and that felt very relaxing, I like discovering this kind of new feelings in moments like this.

Yesterday my bro sneaks into my space at night and I know that when he does that it’s always because he wants to tell me something important; he told me about a classmate that it’s currently flirting with him and he doesn’t want to express how really feels because he is afraid to be hurt, but actually he likes him (oh btw he is gay) he told me he is deaf too so communication it’s not a problem, he told me about him and sounds like a nice guy actually, I hope they can be fine.

I forget to congrats you for finish all your homeworks the other night, now you have to keep that consistence, I wish you good luck with that.

Also, do you buy me something? I feel suprised, moved and speechless... oh God, what I'm going to do with you and your kindness? you really caugh me off guard.

Listening your playlist, and see that actually we enjoyed each other's, would you like me to expain you some of them to you?, would you like to explain me some of yours?, choose the ones you want and I'll do it, music is something that help us to connect more with our feelings, and the point of this is to get out what we feel, what we felt, heal and move forward. So if you want, can you explain me how Heaven's on fire make you feel? I feel that maybe I get it but I think I'm missing something, also with the bug collector, just if you want.

I have to confess that I never looked for Natalia’s albums before, as I listen her music most of the because my mom played it, so I never have the neeeded to look for them because my mom puts it, maybe I already listened all her songs and I didn’t know lol.

Talk to me about everything you want, I’m going to be happy for know more about you. I don’t have plans to watch OP for the next couple months, maybe neither this year but I want to watch it some day, tell me whatever you want, I’m going to feel happy to know about how do you feel with references and everything.

I noticed that yesterday you added “Sigo aquí” from treasure’s planet and my mind almost exploded for that coincidence because yesterday I watched that movie! Life is weird but I like things like this, I already watched but maaaaaany years ago, so this little coincidence… wow.

Hey, the second highest score and it was a 18/50?! WOW that’s hard, but amazing! congrats for that achievement, it’s not perfect but it doesn’t mean that you lose, enjoy this victory, you deserve it. I hope you really enjoyed that nap.

[saturnianbooks]

2023 Reading Wrap Up

Okay!!! So i wasn't able to keep up with one, monthly, kind of post. Honestly, i can't call myself a blogger even if i wanted to. No worries, because last year was actually the first time in a while that i felt i was actually living my life instead of just existing in the world, i was experiencing it. So, tiny victories i guess.

About the books, now. I don't know why or how i do it, but since i fell in love with reading books, back in 2014, i've kept a streak of 24 books per year. It's not a bad number because i read slowly. Besides, at least i'm reading something, you know? There's no rule saying i should read fast or a thousand per year... I've tried, though! I can't get away from 24, can't get past it and feel really sad if i stay one number bellow it. And that's the number of books i've read in 2023... More or less. Let me expain.

January is the month i can usually read the most. It's summer here in Brasil, i finally feel rested from working and studying for a whole year and i'm hyped to read all those exciting stories i hear about. It's not surprising i managed to read 6 books that month last year. A good way of starting my yearly book journey. Sure three of them were small, fast reading books and one was a comic book, but still. The january wrap up cwas posted by another name because the idea of doing it the whole year came later. And i managed to keep it up for just a semester. So you can find the February, March, April, May and June wrap ups on my blog. The second semester of 2023 was a bit messy. Here are the rest of my book reviews.

Arsène Lupin: Gentleman Cambrioleur

I picked it up because of the Netflix series, because i wanted to practice my French reading skills and also because i had a flight with nothing to do. And i had so much fun reading it that now that's the only thing i want to do during flight: i read Arsène Lupin stories. I read even slower in French and i haven't travelled much by plane so i never finished this book. Which, in this case, feels exciting, to know there's more of his stories waiting for me to read them. At first, what hooked me was how even the reader can't tell which of the characters is Lupin. His descriptions are so vague and yet they fulfill their objtective, because the reader is intrigued, curious to learn more. And Lupin is so confident in his abilities, he lies with such ease and seems to simply have enough knowledge of everything, he's so prepared in every situation, reading people like they're open books and instantly knowing what their reactions are going to be. And Maurice Leblanc makes it fun instead of tiring like Sherlock Holmes can be.

The Inheritance Games Trilogy

I picked the first book in the beginning of winter vacation and could not stop until the end of July. Not because of the romance in the story, witch was lacking in many points, but rather because of the mistery around her genealogy and my curiosity about how the story would end, who would have all that money? Some of the plot twists i really don't care about (like that girl that showed up in the third book). But i really like how some of the relationships and characters were build. Like her relationship dynamic with her Father and their background, it was very pleasant to me. I also enjoyed how Mr. Hawthorn raised his grandkids, but hated how he neglected his daughters. The whole series felt like i was watching a TV show, which i find very nice.

With the Fire on High

I like the vibes in this book. It feels fast and slow at the same time, it feels dramatic and nonchalant. I like how the romance in the story is not the main theme of the book. I like that she was already grown when the book began, how it was kind of the aftermath of something tat happened to her, and still she managed to grow even more, and we follow her through this journey of being her own person despite what happened, even embracing what happened. I think more books should be written this way.

Lord Edgware Dies

I hate Poirot and can't stand him as a detective, person and main Character. That's the reason why i abandoned this book.

House of Salt and Sorrow

I didn't know it was a suspense book. I saw it on tiktok, "marketed" as a retelling of the tale that inspired "Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses". I always loved the movie, so i gave the book a chance too. And i was surprised by it. I really like the worldbuilding in this. Maybe, in hindsight, that's what made me finish the book, i considered it more a fantasy book than suspense (but it's both). A sea kingdom in a world with its own pantheon of gods, it was really well made and executed. The romance is also very intriguing, since it's interwined with the suspense part to the point of you questioning what exactly you do know for sure and what is a lie.

The Love Hypothesis

This was lovely. The romance is super well written and involving and fulfilling. It was funny. It showed some hard truths about the academic wold too. And it has a happy ending. The rhythm is nice too.

Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

I read this for Halloween. I was excited to read it but i didn't know the story and thought it was a case of multiple personalities. It shocked me that it was actually some sort of magic and science combined. Still, it's a neat tale. A shame it lacked women in it.

Inferno

I used to like Dan Brown works. I felt so intelligent while reading them. Now i see how machist it really is. I tried reading it for the adventure, for the mistery, but it was annoying me so much that i dropped it. Honestly, i tried and i don't know if i'm going back to it. I only picked it up because it was ispired by Dante's Inferno and i was very much hyped with Hozier's Unreal Unearth.

Love, Theoretically

Not as nice as Love Hypothesis, in my opinion. But still a fun book. I think it went even deeper on the main character's psychology and the harshness of the academic world. But i didn't like the romance dynamic in it, it seemed like the love interest was simply her dog and not a human with a life and personality of his own (which is funny because he spent he whole book trying to help her to not be a people pleaser anymore). On the other hand, the romantic plot was well made. They misunderstood each other in the beginning but this was unmade by the middle of the story, so it could focus on the construction of their romance itself.

By the Pricking of My Thumbs

And the last book i read in 2023, i finished on the last day of the year. I love Tommy and Tuppence, and this is their fourth book. Actually, that this one was more a Tuppence book than both of them acting together. I like how Christie commentend on how society oversaw elder women as intelligent and capable humans, how they criticized their habits and opinions and made wrong judgments. She used it against the society itself. And that, i felt, was her excuse to put Tuppence on the spotlight, which is amazing. And in the end we got to see that the old couple never lost that romantic spark for each other, the same one we saw on their first case. That was very pleasing.

And that was the end of my 2023 reading journey. I don't know if i have the energy or courage to make this a monthly thing in 2024. Maybe i'll do it every six months or next year, perhaps. I liked writting this, having a place to talk about the stories i read and what i thought about them (my book club didn't survive it's second meeting) . And it was a good english writing practice. So i guess i'll write another one of these as i feel the need for it. Thank you, if you read all this. Take care and see ya!

[cherlawa-panna]

There aren't that many (at least from what I've seen), but I can give you a list of my favourites! A lot of them are about Clint and his brother because I'm too weak for Barney Barton.

@carcrash429 has this amazing series king and lionheart. In long story short, Clint is a prince in hiding and Bucky is his loyal knight. I'm not big fan of fantasy, BUT I ADORE IT. They also have this serie Hope which I never read because I didn't had time yet but I know this is good. They also wrote my one of the fave stories with Clint and his brother, Star-Crossed Brothers, maybe short but I was obssesed with it for a long time. Anyway, check carcrash because I love them and they write very very good.

Remember, I loved you IS MY MOST FAVOURITE CLINT-CENTRIC FIC. This is about Clint's childhood AND HOLY SHIT. YOU NEED IT CHECK IT A S A P. I CRIED. This author destroyed me, holy fucking shit bro. (This story has a sequel, Don't You Ever Let Me Go, which is abandoned and have a lot of mcu vibe which is not something I personally like but it is still good).

and the walls kept tumbling down (oh where do we begin?) is about Clint and Barney and this is wingfic. I'm not big fan of winfics, because I'm not big fan of fantasy but this story is so sweet. This is about Clint's relationship with flying and about how Barney wAS ALWAYS HERE TO CATCH HIM--

where the sidewalk ends SHAKING CRYING THROWING UP LITERALLY DYING AND PANIC ATTACK. Another story about Clint's childhood and there's a lot of brothers feels. I can't even expain, just check it.

What the Deaf Man Heard I didn't read this one yet. There's a non/con warning and sadly, I don't know why because I'm stuck in second chapter, but I'm pretty sure this non/con thing doesn't apply to Clint. THIS STORY WAS WROTE BY DEAF AUTHOR, and as hard-of-hearing person, I love Clint's fics made by d/Deaf and HoH authors. Anyway, it was wrote by this guy and he also wrote my fav artictles about Hawkeye: why All-New Hawkeye sucks in writing deaf Clint (click) and also his review on deaf Clint in Fraction run (click). So you can check him if you want.

Assassin Archer Bros For Hire very short but I adore this funny little story. Basically, what if in mcu instead of Laura and kids, Barney would be at the farm.

what's my age again? Clint, Kate and ASL. Their chaotic friendship are my everything.

The Rooftop Gang just short cute story about Clint's tenants and how they cares about him.

Heroes is a shor flicet about Barney and Clint lol (only 495 words but you can check it if you want).

I don't really remember all of my fave fics right now, but when I'll remember, I'm gonna send it to you!!!! Have a good day!! 💕💕💕💕💕

I have this ungodly fear that Clint Barton is becoming the Jason Todd (not that there is anything wrong with Jason… unclench…) of Marvel in fanon world. Like people read one comic with him and just fuckin run with that being his entire personality and they’re being really annoying about it now by invading spaces and refusing to actually know the character and so Clint Barton will eventually be the cringe character everyone rolls their eyes about like “oh yeah of course you’re into Hawkeye 🙄 drop your reading list”

I’m so serious I’m so scared.

[kewltie]

when and why did u start shipping bakudeku?

hi anon!!!

Well, i got started in the manga when it only a few chapters long and i just followed it on and off since then. i didn’t really get into shipping around 2 years ago and bakugou’s character arc started to developed and he’s slowly and surely changing with the effort of himself, people around him, and the circumstances influencing him grow from the arrogant brat who see very little value in others to someone who knew what he did to deku was incredibly shitty and to see beyond just a person’s quirk. it also really help me see the potential of them together when i was reading ‘on the run’ by justaperson1718 . it’s my top ten most fav fics in the fandom!!! i go back and reread it all the time bc the redemption arc that the author give to bakugou was SO SATISFYING and the way he try soooooo hard and changed himself for his and izuku’s relationship so it could developed into something more made me so happy :)))). 

im a sucker for a good redemption story (zuko is my fav absolute from atla for reasons like this)!!!! i just really like to see him grow in his potential as a hero and as a person because you can be a great hero but doesn’t make you a good person and i want to see that from bakugou in the future as he climbs the rank with deku :D. now to talk about their dynamic, i usually don’t like to ship former bully/victim it kinda left a sour taste in my mouth but seeing his char grow and his arc being developed with so much care and thought in canon really changed my mind in the end and how much deku still deeply cares for him!!! HE DOESN’T HATE HIM!!!! and honestly, i really believe in giving ppl a second chances and we shouldn’t be defined by our past esp when we make the effort to learned from it and be better. i fucked up a lot when i was younger that im pretty sure you and everyone else would have easily find reason to hate me for it but i have learned and grown from that experience and i hope now im ok enough that ppl don’t see my past and think wow she was such a horrible person then and still is right now ///o\\. so yea, second chances and redemption story are something im extremely weak too (MAN this make me want to talk about winter soldieresque villain au of deku about how deku dreamt of being a hero but ended up being manipulated into being a villain and the long road of redemption deku has to go through to become hero). 

also bc my fav headcanon that once bakugou falls in love with deku he LIT can’t control his feelings for deku and is always fighting against how MUCH HE LOVES DEKU AND IT’S FRUSTRATES HIM LIKE NOTHING ELSE and how it’s karmatic justice for all the past bullying he did bc now it’s fucking whipped for deku :DDDDD. 

lol none of this is very coherent sorry ABOUT THAT A;SJSDF;SJD. but basically i have always been partial to childhood friends more than anything and rivilship gives a little spice into the relationship so LOL it makes it even more interesting to me. and i saw the potential in bakudeku when bakugou’s growth in canon is being developed and he’s changing to be a better person and how deku doesn’t hate him despite his past actions against deku and maybe in spite of it, deku still values bakugou and sees him just as important as all might in his life and that makes me weak bc SO MUCH HISTORY AND SIDE TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP. 

i hope that answer your question?????????? lol im not trying to convince anyone to ship them bc not everyone taste obviously but i like their dynamic and i going to keep writing them... until i get bored anyway. 

oh and BakuDeku may be my OTP here but I’m also partial to TodoDeku and is extremely weak to TodoDekuBaku... haha I have a soulmate ot3 fic plan for the future //o\\ lol.

[anotherstudybrownie]

How I study 🍬

Hey, you! Are you one of those people who don’t know how to study effectively? If that’s your case, this is the right place. I’m gonna tell you how I study, my planifying techniques and more tips! Continue reading for more.

⚠ It isn’t guaranteed to work for everyone. This is only based on my experience.

When a techer tells me when I have an exam, the first thing I do is write everything I need to study. Then, depending on the time I have each day and how much I have to study, I organise my study time. I write specific things I have to study and activities I’m gonna do. Here’s an example:

Monday: do 5 equations

Tuesday: do another 10 equations + read number theory and do a mindmap + 15 roman numerals to numbers + 15 numbers to roman numerals

Wednesday: do 5 equations

Thursday: do 15 equations + review number theory + 15 roman numerals to numbers + 15 numbers to roman numerals

Friday: exam

⚠ Most of the classes are more theorical, so the type of schedule depends on it.

When I’m studying, I like to make mindmaps and flashcards with the notes I’ve taken in class. Normally I do them simple but cute, because having beautiful mindmaps or notes motivates me to study. Another technique I use is explaining what I learned to someone of my familiy or just to myself. I expain it aloud beacuse it helps memorizing and then in the exam you’ll be able to explain the concept correctly. Also, I use webpages like educaplay for practising in a fun way!

For organising all my life (not only academic), I use Notion (I just started this month). I’ve tried Notion so many times and it didn’t work for me, but now that I’ve tried Dobochobo’s template I feel that I’m finally using it as I wanted to! For me, Notion is perfect because you can do A LOT of things in the same place and make it so pretty 🤗. This, for example, has been written in Notion.

Finally, I want to speak about the importance of an agenda and of resting. First of all, the agenda. I always write in my agenda the assignments teachers give me or the exams I have, because my mind is a mess and normally I don’t remember any date 😅, but when I write it in my agenda, I just need to take it and have a look when I come home.

Also, resting is really important! I know a lot of people who study 8 hours each day (or more!) or that don’t have time for themselves. I found this very stressful and I know this isn’t good. Please, rest, or your mental exhaustion will be really high! It’s important to find a balance (I’m trying to find it so hard) between studying and resting. Remember it, please!

This is all, guys! I hope you liked my post 🌷

[theladyofbloodshed]

Well this expains a lot!

I just thought you were a bitch for never thanking anyone for whatever compliment they paid you.

Okay, this has pissed me off.

I get a lot of messages and I appreciate people take the time to write to me but:

I try and reply to every single one on AO3 - and I have 1654 comment threads on there.

On here, I try to reply to all of the anons I get and I do thank them (1, 2, 3, 4, 5).

I also have lots of prompts that I will get around to writing and I do apologise that they sit there for so long but unfortunately I have a full time job and sometimes the creativity doesn't flow either.

I don't always respond when people reblog with comments because I don't want to keep reblogging my writing and clogging up feeds with the same post.

Most of the time when people reply to my fics on here, it happens when I am asleep because I live in a different time zone. I wake up at 6am and go to work and I get home at 5pm. I am out of the house for 11 hours of my day and my first priority is generally getting a cup of tea and having 10 minutes to chill and switch off as I work with 30 six year olds so I forget to reply back.

I am sorry that I forget to reply to things, but I do appreciate every message. They also take me a long time to reply to.

It also takes me hours and hours to write. Any free time I have is spent writing or replying to messages. I wanted to learn how to draw this year but then I feel like I'm wasting valuable writing time because people are keen for the next chapter.

More than anything THIS IS FOR FREE. I do not earn anything by writing fan fiction. I do it because I love writing.

Generally, I do not think I'm a rude person. I try to be approachable and respond to everything. When you call me a bitch, it makes me want to just not write anything at all because I feel horrendous. I am a very sensitive person and always worry that I've upset people. As a result, this evening I am not going to write the next chapter because you've made me feel like shit!

[sandeoki]

Break me sweetly

request: can I request a mafia hongjoong x reader and the conflict has something to do with betrayal?

author's note: i know you wanted a fluffy ending anon-ie but i couldnt help it. the angst loving monster inside me took over T_T

taglist: @atinyreads

she couldnt stop her hands from shaking as she stood infront of him, gun pressed to his head. at the gunpoint, stood the man she had came to love, pointing his gun at her head too.

"its truly the only way we can be together huh?" she couldnt stop the tears anymore. a sad smile pulled at her lips as she connected them with his.

"its the only way love, they will never accept us" hongjoong replied to the woman he loved. the same woman who was holding at gunpoint.

the same woman who had his gun pressed against her head. the same woman who came to betray him but ended up catching feelings instead.

the same woman who was ready to die with him just so they can be together without their world's crashing.

*a few months ago*

y/n stood at the HQ with a file in her hand. even though the file wasnt that heavy, the words inside carried a huge weight. the weight of someone's life.

it was her mission. this wasnt anything new for y/n. being a trained spy and all, earning people's trust and then killing them was nothing new.

this case was nothing new. it was easy enough and the pay she was getting was huge. she was used to it but something inside her felt off.

this man who she was supposed to kill, Kim Hongjoong, leader of Ateez, was someone y/n really admired.

he was an exceptional leader and his bravery was known worldwide. earning his trust would be no easy task. but she was trained for this.

she smirked as she saw her boss briefly explain the possibe outcomes of this 'case'. most of them lead to her either getting caught and tortured or getting killed on spot.

"you dont need to worry about me, i know what i am capable of. i wont disappoint."

something didnt feel right. he could feel that something was off about her. no way the new recruit could manage to take down three of his strongest men.

"interesting. bring her here, i want to talk to her" his voice was passive but he could feel a smirk pulling at his lips.

an exceptional fighter, a girl at that too. she would be a great asset to his gang. hongjoong wasnt a fool though, he knew he couldnt trust her that easily.

when he saw the girl getting dragged by the arm by his men he couldnt help but be shocked. he couldnt believe it.

"YOU, A 5'2 LOOKING GREMLIN, MANAGED TO TAKE 3 OF MY BEST FIGHTERS DOWN?!?"

to say y/n was offended was an understandment. she was ready to explode. this was so low of him. calling her a gremlin when he looked like a minion himself.

"WHO ARE YOU TO TALK HUH? YOU ARENT MUCH TALLER THAN ME EITHER! MINION LOOKING ASS CALLING ME A GREMLIN"

hongjoong could feel his cheeks heating up. never in his life had someone dared talk to him like that.

and here she was, a tiny squirrel, shouting at him. the worst part was, he wasnt sure if he hated it or not.

"what's your name?"

"y/n"

y/n. he liked it. it sounded pretty. it suited her well.

after months of hardwork and seduction, y/n finally earned hongjoong's trust. there was just a teeny tiny problem though...

she fell in love in the process of making him fall for her. she knew she shouldnt have. but she couldnt control her feelings.

here she stood, infront of the man she betrayed, as she confessed the true reason of her joining his gang.

"you thought i didnt know? so dumb of you princess. i always knew. you were trying to play me but you failed to realize you had been played with too"

she blinked, stared at him, then blinked again. WHAT?!? she couldnt believe her ears. seeing her expression, hongjoong expained

"i knew what you were trying to do all along. i took it as a challenge, a challenge to do the same as you. my plan was similar to yours. but instead of killing you, i couldve used you for information"

hearing this, her heart cracked a little. she felt as if her whole world was crashing. she felt out of breath.

"so you were just acting the whole time?" she couldnt hide the pain laced inside her question.

"no, not really. while i did succeed in my plan to get you to fall for me, i seem to have fallen for you in the process too."

he answered with a smile. she couldnt help but smile back. she felt relief. although she knew this relief was temporary, she grasped to it.

"you know they wont let us be together right?"her question caught him off guard and he sighed before kissing her.

her lips felt hevenly against his. he had been waiting for this. he pulled her closer and kissed her with more passion.

she could feel one of his hands tightening on her waist while the other pointed his gun at her head. she let the tears flow. she knew this was the only way.

"they will never let us life together, but they cant stop us from dying together"

he kissed her one last time as she pointed her gun at his head too.

[f1-disaster-bi]

Charles joining in on Lance and Callum’s meet-ups 🥹 they’re really shy the first day because they’re not trans so they feel like they shouldn’t be there but Callum and lance welcome them and make them so comfortable.

The three of them going for brunches and drinks and stuff and just chatting and bonding over all things gender identity anf being there for each other throughout any wobbles is just adorable. Because yes, they all have their partners but there’s something about having the support of people who have gone through it which hits different.

Yes!!

Charles would love the fact that Callum and Lance invite them to their meet-ups but they'd alos be so nervous. They try expaining it to Max, explaining that they're not trans and don't want to invade this space that Callum and Lance have created to feel safe. Max just hugs them close and points out the fact that they wouldn't have invited them if they didn't want them there

So Charles goes and is so nervous but they had nothing to be afraid of cause Callum and Lance are so happy they came. Callum is immediately hugging them and pulling them to sit down and ordering them some drinks and Lance just takes their hand and tells them "you don't have to be nervous Charlie. It's just us, and we understand. This is a safe space for you and us to talk about things our partners may not understand fully" and it just helps Charles relax.

It's just such a soft and safe space. Charles can bitch about how they hate that somedays they don't feel like either gender but will still get referred to as he/him and Lance and Callum can relate because for Lance "my dad still calls me by my dead name and tries to ask me when I'll have kids" and for Callum "I'm always being told I'm not really a man because I like feminine things" and it's just such a relief for Charles to have people that get it

[mackeydoodledoo]

Dead to Me

Pairing: Alcina Dimitrescu and (Fem!)Reader [non-romantic], Cassandra Dimitrescu x (Fem!)Reader

Summary: You escaped once however, leaving the woman you love behind. One day you just show your face once more however, not greeted by the same woman you once loved.

Warnings: Abandonment, Su1c1dal Thoughts, Attempted Su1c1de, Blood, Slight G0R3, MEGA Fluff at the end

A/N: So, this one’s gonna be sad... But it MIGHT just make a slight happy ending.

“Dead to Me” - Crimson Apple

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

One of these days you had to go back. You just didn’t expect yourself to be showing up now of all times. You had been here, serving under Alcina Dimitrescu, pretty much all of House Dimitrescu. You didn’t mind it at first however, listening to the screams of other maidens freaked you out enough.

All of the scars you had to bear from every slip up you caused... It hurt.. However, the only woman that had gotten you through it all was.. None other than the Sadist daughter of Alcina; Cassandra Dimitrescu. 

“Y/n... Y/n I’m sorry... Come back... Come back to me.. Please..” Cassandra cries into the shirt you gave her

You had managed to escape however, you strongly believed that Cassandra didn’t love you. You never meant to hurt Cassandra. However, you were afraid of your fate, should you continue to slip up. 

Months later you had gotten a letter from Alcina. Weirdly enough you were still on somehow good terms with her. Similarities in taste of music gotten you a soft spot in her. The letter alone had mysteriously had given you the urge to go back to the Castle. You slowly push open the doors to the castle and slowly step inside, unready to face whom was going to greet you. 

“Y/n,” Alcina appears, ducking through the doorway

“My lady,” You greet her as formally as possible, “It has been quite some time. I’m glad you’re still in good health.”

“Enough with the formalities,” Alcina sighs, “I’m not here to chat with you.”

You close your mouth just before you try to give your greetings. You walked right into this one. You don’t blame Alcina. 

“Come with me,” he commands, but in a gentle yet demanding voice

You don’t say anything but you begin following her once she turns her back to you. You follow her throughout the castle and leads you to the Opera Room. You were met with three familiar faces... Bela, the first one to look up at you. Daniela, the second one to follow her older sister. She gives you a warming yet hungry smile. Finally, the familiar Brunette is the last to look up. She was about to raise her sickle until her mother raises her hand, calming her daughters. 

“Y/n will be running the entire Opera Room,” Alcina states

What?... I mean- I do have theater tech experience....

You really only rushed back to Castle Dimitrescu when Alcina had mentioned in the letter it was ‘an emergency’. However, you didn’t really see Alcina going into details on said ‘emergency’. 

“Mother I think it would be best if y/n would be-”

“My decision is final Cassandra,” Alcina raises her hand once more, ”I expect the three of you to treat her as such. Should she try to escape once more or slip up more than necessary... Kill her.”

I walked into this one... Plus... What else is there to live for?... 

Alcina makes her exit. Bela begins following her mother, intentionally bumping into your shoulder when she passes you. You look down. Daniela attempts to scare you by growling into your ear when she passes you. This leaves you with Cassandra. 

“Cassadra I-”

In a quick motion, she swarms into her flies and a fly scratches your cheek, making a scar. It begins dripping blood. 

“You keep your mouth shut,” She growls, holding the tip of her sickle in your face, “You try to escape one more time, I will make sure your very own soul won’t leave here.”

She raises her sickle, seemingly ready to slash you. You don’t do anything to guard yourself but look down however, the painful sharp end of the sickle never came. You look up and notice the sickle now down at her side.

“You would have been doing me a favor...” You say, monotonous, walking around her

Before you were out of her reach, she clutches your arm. Not loosely and not tightly. But the perfect grip... A comforting grip. 

“Let go Cassandra,” You say, trying to hold back tears

She doesn’t listen to you but finally subsides and lets you go. You hear her form into her usual swarm of flies and exit the room.

Cassandra.... If only you knew how I felt about you...

You drop onto your knees and begin silently crying to yourself. You reach into your shirt and take out a simple locket until you opened it; revealing a small photo of Cassandra that she had given you at one point the both of you were at the peak of your guys’ friendship.

In the next several days, you were slowly restoring the Opera Room’s curtains. You were attaching a fallen section of the curtain. However, you had gotten the biggest ladder you could find, without asking for any of the ladies of house Dimitrescu, you were already standing on the tips of your toes, trying to clip that part of the curtain back onto its refurbished clip. 

Come on... Come on... Almost there...

Just as you finally got the curtain to clip on, the ladder began falling under your feet. You let out a yelp and expected yourself to fall through the aging wood of the stage. 

It never came.

You open your eyes and notice a small swarm of flies beginning to materialize. Feeling the familiar and gentle touch, you finally gain the courage to look at your savior.

“You okay?” Cassandra asks

“Yeah.” You sigh, “You-you can let go of me now...”

She lets you out of her arms. You expected her to leave however, no sound of swarming flies came into your field of hearing and none that came to your field of vision.

“Shouldn’t you be torturing someone new yet?” You ask, jumping off the stage and over the the couches to breathe

“Been there, done that,” She follows you

“There’s nothing exciting here,” You say, sighing as you sink into the couch, “So, you’d find more excitement somewhere else..”

“Fine...” Cassandra growls

She makes her usual fly make a scar on you somewhere and flies off. You bandage the cut for the time being and stand up, stretching. You walk over to the piano and sit at the piano chair.. You sigh as you wipe off the seeping blood with a cloth. When the bleeding finally stopped, you gently place your fingers along the keys and begin playing some tune that came into your head. 

From behind the doorway, Cassandra listens to you play the piano. She leans her head onto the doorframe.

You still play beautifully... I want you to play to me like you used to..

Before she could continue listening to you, she hears her mother calling for her.

You could hear Alcina’s voice, making you stop playing. You stand from the piano and begin working on any other task in the Opera Room.

By the days end, you realize no one had shown you your quarters. 

I must be in the maid’s quarters... Fine by me... None of them would want my presence anyway...

As you begin walking down the halls, you could remember clearly where everything was.

“You need somewhere to sleep?” Cassandra asks, standing in her doorway to her bedchambers 

“I’m fine,” You say, not making eye contact with her

“Giving you a chance to seep somewhere where it’s comfortable,” She adds, “Besides, I’m more active at night, you won’t see me..”

“Fine...” You sigh, giving in, “Only because you’re offering so kindly.”

You look up at her and you took note of Cassandra’s slight blushing cheeks. Despite the blood all over her chin and slightly on her cheeks. Cassandra shuts the door and begins roaming the halls. Everything in her bedchambers was pretty much the same as how you last remembered it. The only small detail that was different was your shirt on her bed, acting as a pillowcase....

Cassandra?... Why is my shirt a pillowcase?...

You didn't bother to question it any further and just get into her bedsheets. You take a pillow and hold onto it like a body.

When Cassandra returns to her bedchambers as she forgot her sickle, she notices you sound asleep in her bed. Cassandra's heart began swelling with happiness. Seeing you asleep made her all giddy whenever you'd be asleep before her.

You open your eyes and sit up. You mysteriously no longer felt tired and you hopped out of Cassandra's bed and make her bed. Not wanting to leave it a mess. You make haste and make your leave from Cassandra's quarters.

"Leaving so soon?" Cassandra asks, her arm materializing to grab your arm

She puts the end point of her sickle against your back; not to thr point where its piercing your skin but enough to make a slight mark. She ever so slowly pulls your body towards hers. Not willing to have your lung punctured, you follow her movements.

"So pretty," she flirts

You didn't know what to do. Although she threatened you the second you came back, now she's all up in your face, wanting your attention..

"Cassandra," you sigh, "Stop...."

"Why? Didn't you like it?" Cassandra asks as her head drops into the crook of your neck

“St-stop,” You push her away, resulting her drawing blood from your back with her sickle

You immediately beeline it to a bathroom to cover the wound. Luckily for you it was a mere scratch, so stopping the blood came quickly. You sigh, wanting to stay in the bathroom, having a feeling that Cassandra is on the other side of the door. However, feeling bold enough to check, you unlock the door and peek your head out. 

Thank god...

You make your full exit from the bathroom and towards the Opera Room for the usual restoration.

Just as you were sweeping the stage, from your peripherals, Alcina is coming your way. You stop sweeping and brush yourself off of the dust and debris.

“My lady,” You greet her

“How are you my dear?” She asks, sitting at the piano bench

Okay... Yesterday you wanted to kill me... Now you’re being all friendly?...

“I’m alright,” You lie, “What is it that you need my lady?”

“I just wanted to let you know that there is an upcoming play that my daughters want to put on for you,” Alcina expains

For me?...

“For me?” You ask

She nods.

“My Lady?” You ask, “I-I don’t understand.”

“It was Cassandra’s idea,” She says, “Do have the opera hall spick and spam by tomorrow afternoon.”

She makes her leave from the opera room. You were still on the stage cleaning process. However, you only needed to sweep the floors, rearrange the chairs out in the audience seating and set up the piano.

“Won’t be so bad,” You sigh to yourself

While you were in the process of the finishing touches to the lounging area, it was to the piano. You sit down at its bench and begin playing a simple tune that came to mind. 

“You still play beautifully,” A familiar voice sits next to you

“Oh- Lady Cassandra,” You say, clearing your throat, “I’m-I’m sorry I-”

“Play for me some more,” She asks

You were kind of surprised how her tone wasn’t demanding. But, gentle, calm. Almost begging you.

“Aye, as you wish my lady,” You say, stretching your fingers

You play her ‘Stereo Hearts‘. A classic to your life prior to becoming a maid for House Dimitrescu. You used to play it to her when she had asked you. You look over to her and see a slight smile across her face. Her eyes were closed; watching you with her ears. 

I only pray you’ll never leave me behind Because good music can be so hard to find I’ll take your hand and hold it closer to mine Thought love was dead And now you’re changing my mind!

You continue moving with your fingers along the keys as you begin feeling the feelings behind the song you were singing to Cassandra. Once you had finished out the song, you turn your body to face Cassandra, she was already looking at you. Feeling bold, you cup her cheeks and crash your lips onto hers. However, Cassandra was caught off guard. But, she wasn’t complaining. However, the feeling of bliss was short-lived when Cassandra pushes you off of her, making you fall out of the chair. She stands over you, the handle end of her sickle in her hand and the other end close to your face.

“Don’t you dare think if you come back I will just let you become my plaything again!” Cassandra growls, leaning in close to your face, “You’re Dead to Me y/n... You hear?! DEAD TO ME!!”

You lay there frozen, expecting to feel a sharp pain across your face. Your eyes were closed so you wouldn’t see Cassandra. However, that pain never came. You look over and see her already making her leave. 

Fucking god I’m so stupid..

What you didn’t realize was as soon as Cassandra rounded the corner of the door, she slumps into her knees and sobs quietly...

The following night you had managed to finish and avoid Cassandra. A win-win for you. You stand in the back of the opera room while the play was going on. You didn’t quite understand the plotline but you had to give it to the daughters... Except Cassandra... You make your leave from the opera house as soon as the curtains closed at the end of the play. You let your deepest depression and negative emotions get the best of you, you decided to end it all right then and there, but wanted to be alone doing so; so you left.. When the curtains opened back up for a standing ovation, Cassandra didn’t see you. She looks at her sisters, worried. She then looks at her mother, who nods at her. Cassandra runs backstage to strip off her costume and look for you.

“Y/n?” Cassandra calls out for you

No answer...

“Y/n!” Cassandra screams louder

She looks into a hall and notices the widow open... A sheer cold spike pierces her back and she disperses into her swarm and fly out of the window. 

“Y/n!” Cassandra’s screams echo throughout the castle rooftop

From afar, she could see you, walking along the flat parts of the roof. But, you were getting closer to the edge.

“Y/n!” She says in relief, flying into your direction

Before you reached the edge of the roof, you could hear Cassandra’s voice getting closer to you.

“Cassandra?” You ask, “What are you doing here?” 

“I came looking for you,” She says calmly, “Now... Come here... Please... Let’s talk...”

“Now?” You ask, “Of all times you were given the chance to talk to me, you don’t take those chances. But, now you want to talk to me?! Why now of all times?”

“I was scared then Y/n,” Cassandra tries to explain to you calmly, “I was scared of what you thought of me...”

“What I thought of you?” You ask, almost laughing, “All of the other maids told me; ‘be careful of Lady Cassandra. You’ll never know when she’ll end up using you for her own personal gains.’ You know what I did about that?! Not listen to them. Because I was geniunely in love with you. But, you never shown that to me!”

“I know,” Cassandra winces at her own stupidity, “I thought... I thought you wouldn’t fall for someone like me...”

“Well, newsflash honey, I have fallen for you!” You say

You realize how you put the present tense... It was still true, you were still in love with Cassandra. However, you still don’t believe she loves you back.

“I know I’ve been a huge bitch to you in the past,” She says, beginning to cry, “But in the time you were gone, I’ve thought about you. Fuck it, I still think about you. Your smile, your laugh, the way you sing to me when I need you to help me calm down... And I took it all for granted...”

“Why does it matter what you think of me now?!” You scream at her, inching closer to the edge of the roof, “Aren’t I dead to you?! Isn’t that what you told me?!”

“Because I’m in love with you y/n!” Cassandra confesses, “I only said that so we wouldn’t end up the way we ended last time!”

Wait... What?...

Before you could stop shaking, your leg lost its footing and you found yourself slipping down the roof of the tower.

“Y/n!!” Cassandra screams, leaping off of the rooftop, turning into her swarm of flies

You couldn’t let out a scream. You were done with everything. You had nowhere else to go, no one that loves you... You had nothing. You close your eyes and await the other side. 

“I got you y/n,” A familiar voice whispers into your ear

Your eyes shoot open and you look over. Cassandra’s arms are materialized along with her lips and a part of her head. You notice how you’re falling a lot slower now. 

“Cassandra...” You manage to say before you found your arms around Cassandra, what was physical of her in her fly swarm

The next thing you felt was a soft sheet underneath you. You realize it was Cassandra laying along her bed. You turn over to face her as she gets in the other side of the bed with you.

“You... Are in love with me?” You ask, cupping her cheek

“I always was” Cassandra says, blushing and leaning into your touch, “Now and forever...”

“If I’m going to be honest,” You start, stroking her cheek with your thumb, “It pained me to leave... But I was so scared... Not only death but to watch the one I fell in love with walk away... Well, After I did leave I had nothing to go back to but somehow made it work until I did come back..”

The both of you were standing in the night air the following night, making up for lost time between the both of you.

“You should have seen me when you left,” Cassandra makes fun of herself

“I wish I did,” You sigh, playing with the pendants of her necklace, “I would have stayed...”

“What matters most is that you’re here... With me.. Right in this moment,” Cassadra states

“Hey, I want to share a song with you when I was in the outside world,” You request

Cassandra looks down when she sees a bright light coming off of your face. You put one earbud in your ear and place the earbud into Cassandra’s ear. You hit the play button.

“Falling” - Chase Atlantic

“I don’t get why I need to listen to this with you,” Cassandra states

“Just shut up and listen to it with me,” You demand gently, giggling

“Yes ma’am,” She sighs, letting a soft smile out 

With the light from the full moon, you place your hands on Cassandra’s shoulders and Cassandra snakes her hands around your waist. The both of you stand along her balcony, beginning to sway to the song when it got to the pre-chorus, feeling the cool wind against the both of you. You stand on your tip toes as your lips and Cassandra’s meet, sharing a tender kiss when the song reached the post-bridge. 

[anon-e-miss]

Is Ratchet in the trailer? Did Punch drag Ratchet all the way to Polyhex with him? Do Rico and Jazz know?

Though the newling was rooting at Prowl's chassis, he did not expose his wells or attempt to reignite that bit of code. He had no idea what disease might be hiding in his frame. Prowl had not had a purge in nine quartexes, there was no telling was contagion he might be carrying in his energon. Speaking softly, Prowl rocked the bitlet and encouraged his creations to be patient with the young twins who had become instantly enamoured with them. They rolled a ball on the floor, the Twins, Bluestreak, and Tripwire and the little ones.

As the newling became increasingly distressed, Prowl removed his narrow band of armour. There was a time the idea of Ricochet seeing his wells and spark would have made him recoil but they were hardly sacred anymore. He laid the newling over his spark chamber and hoped the radiation of his spark might be a comfort. The little one seemed to soothe. Prowl stroked his helm as he cooed softly at him. He went silent when the door opened and Jazz appeared, with his originator this time and not with anymore bitlets.

"It's time to go," Jazz said. "Ori, think ya can get those lil bits?"

"Oh sure," Punch replied. Prowl felt his spark race as Punch, just a stranger, an intimidating one at that, coaxed the toddling mechling and femmeling to magnetize as he settled the femmeling on his back and the mechling his front. "Ya don't forget these things."

"Ori carries us like that!" Sideswipe exclaimed.

"Well sure," Punch replied. "It's the best way to carry twins. Yer geni 'n uncle are twins too." "Oh!" Sideswipe exclaimed. "We took after our geni!"

"In more than a few ways," Punch declared, fondly and Prowl had to to like him, a little.

"Trip, can your geni carry you?" Barricade asked. "So I carry Blue? You know he's a little shy with strangers."

"Uh huh!" Tripwire, leapt right into Ricochet's arms. The look of awe on the mech's face when he held his creation for the first time soften a little of Prowl's anger on his batchmate's behalf. "You wouldn't drop me? Right?"

"Never," Ricochet promised and Prowl was prepared to believe him. Barricade scooped Bluestreak up, watching Ricochet with Tripwire. He was anxious, Prowl understood that completely.

"I call Geni's back," Sideswipe declared and Prowl watched as Jazz froze as his/their imperious mechling climbed him like a jungle gym. Sunstreaker looked between Prowl and Jazz. Jazz knelt to his level.

"I can put ya on yer ori's back," Jazz offered. "Or I can carry ya, whatever ya like, Sunstreaker."

"Ori's tired," Sunstreaker said.

"I am never too tired to carry you," Prowl assured him.

"Geni can carry me," Sunstreaker said, he stretched his arms out to his progenitor. "Just this once."

"Thank ya for trustin' me, Sweetspark," Jazz said. He wrapped his arms around Sunstreaker and Prowl's spark fluttered as he watched his first breath in their first emerged's scent. The youngling hung back as they sorted out the mechlings. "Ya good, to walk, Smokey?"

"I'm fine," the youngling said. "You're taking me with you?"

"Of course," Jazz said and Prowl echoed the sentiment.

"Let's get movin'," Punch declared. "We got a friend waitin' in the trailer to see to y'all."

"Who?" Prowl asked, feeling alarmed.

"Ratchet," Jazz replied. Prowl's knees locked. Prime's medic. Prime's own medic. Why was the Prime's medic here? Why? His processor was grinding and it hurt to think. Jazz's digits massed the back of his neck, the magnets pulsing low. Prowl sighed and his helm drooped. "Soon as he got wind what we was comin' after, Ratchet declared he was comin' long. Since he'd o' stowed away if we refused, it was better to say yes. Better to let'm get started sortin' ya out."

"You are intimately involved with the Autobots," Prowl observed as he adjusted his hold on the newling. He only then realized he had not replace his armour, he had become so used to being nude in public. Even after this revelation, Prowl did not bother reaching for. None of the mechs presented teeked of arousal at the sight of him. Why would they be aroused?

"'M Commander o' Spec Ops," Jazz replied. "The left servo 'o the Prime."

"I see."

"Optimus isn't who we thought he was back then," Jazz assured him. Prowl did not care for his assurances. "Y'll see for yerself."

The brothel was dead silent as they walked to the backdoor favoured by those clients who needed to employ discretion. A grey trailer was parked immediately next to the stairs, its ramp already lowered. Maybe they were about the be ferried into the pleasure work for new masters. Prowl looked at and could not believe that this was possible. Ratchet appeared, the Iaconian medic's crisp red and white paint served to identify him as the medic he was. He made a sound, a gruff rumble as they walked up the ramp and Prowl resisted shrinking as he was forced to step passed him. The back of the trailer was covered in pillows and blankets. It was not a crew carrier, but a cargo hauler. Perhaps it would not be the most comfortable of transports, it would be utterly discrete.

"I was expecting four," Ratchet's tone was accusing as he spoke to Ricochet.

"So I didn't actually know Prowl'd had twins," Ricochet replied. "Or that he'd adopted a sick bitlet. The littlests Jazz found abandoned after their originators flew the coop and then there's the youngling and he's got his own story."

"Get comfortable," Ratchet ordered. He placed a servo on Prowl's shoulder and urged him down. "That newling looks fresh."

"I found 'm by the smelter," Jazz expained softly.

"Leaking lubricants," Ratchet cursed.

"Language!" Tripwire scolded as he wagged a digit at Ratchet, he was still held snuggly in Ricochet's arms. Ricochet would not let the medic discipline him. Ratchet looked at the fearless mechling and laughed.

"My apologies," he said. "Why don't you settle in? Make yourself a pillow fort."

"Sooo many pillows," Sideswipe sighed and he hopped off Jazz's back and tugged at Sunstreaker's ped.

His twin followed him and his cousin and they dove into the pile. Barricade lowered Bluestreak down next to Prowl and then sat himself, watching, not only the mechlings but the medic and Prowl. Punch sat next to him, with the mechling and femmeling twins. Ricochet joined them. Smokescreen did not seem to know what to do with himself but Punch took his servo and urged him to sit with them. He was safe. They all were and it felt so eerie. Jazz looked between the sparklings and Prowl before deciding to sit with Prowl.

"I'll start with the newling," Ratchet declared and he sat across from Prowl. Though he did not want to, Prowl gave him the bitlet. "Have you initiated the code to fuel him?"

"I have not," Prowl replied. "I had Pox and other ITD, I do not know what I could be carrying now, I am concerned my fuel is contaminated."

"It's unlikely," Ratchet replied at the same time as he examined the bitlet with his servos, he ran scanners over Prowl. "Your self repair systems are non existent. Literally, the programs have gone into standby due to your complete lack of nanite's. Jazz, get some pillows for his back."

"I think Bluestreak may have something of the same problem," Prowl replied, forgetting his fears of this mech. Below him, the trailer rolled as the Convoy took off for parts unknown to him. "He was addicted to Syk, his originator gave him small doses to keep him quiet. He has not put any mass on since we weaned him off it."

"I'll sort him out," Ratchet promised and Prowl believed him. Jazz guided him to lay back on the stacks of pillows and blankets he had claimed. Ratchet strapped a pump to Prowl's belly and inserted a line from it into an energon line near his hip. "The nanites will act as an external self-repair system while yours recharge. You'll wear the pump until I say otherwise."

"Yes, Medic," Prowl replied.

"I'll give you a booster divert energon to your wells," Ratchet said. "And take a sample before we put the bitlet on."

It was startling how quickly Prowl felt his nozzles stiffen as his wells swelled. Ratchet declared his frame must have initiated the code on its own at the sound of a hungry newling. Prowl was wary of such a loss of his autonomy, though the medic said it was common with experience origins. He and Barricade had nursed each other's creations when one or the other had been forced to work passed the fuelling time. They had both over produced in the end but it had allowed their creations to be well fuelled despite their surroundings. With a professional, plantonic touch, Ratchet stimulated Prowl's nozzle and energon leaked from it. He ran a tested on the rich fuel.

"Perfectly clean," Ratchet declared. "You want to try nursing him?"

"Yes, please," Prowl said and he reached for the bitlet. "He has been so hungry. I do not believe he has ever fuelled."

"Since he's dehydrated, I'd agreed," Ratchet replied. Prowl looked at the medic with alarm and Jazz brushed a thumb over his shoulder. "He's sort out quickly after he's fuelled from you."

There was no hesitation from the newling, he latched onto Prowl's nozzle and suckled greedily. Bluestreak watched with a little wonder as the bitlet drank from Prowl's well. He was lurred from Prowl's side with the offer of a treated and he sucked on the lollipop as Ratchet examined him with servos and scanners. When Ratchet said Bluestreak did indeed have no self-repair systems in place, he was encouraged to cuddle into Prowl's side before Ratchet installed not one but two pumps.

"He has Fuel Malabsorbtion Syndrome," Ratchet explained. "The external pump will give him constant infusions of vital nutrients until I can sort him out. This brave mechling is going to be fine and healthy in no time."

"Do you hear that?" Prowl asked as he stroked Bluestreak's helm. "You are going to be chasing after the Twins in no time."