#i want to be someone that makes a change
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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking
#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire#'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem#the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted#also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out#so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my#notifs page cleanish lol#also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3#secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because#of investors bankrolling everything#and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest#however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point#once again. so many murder dollars#so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction#anyways . love yall 💕#origibberish#bigger gibbers
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Vent
#i got such an insane inferiority complex#i feel less than anyone else and its making me desperately try to be better but im failing#and its making me so mad#i am so frustrated at being worse than others#i want to be like them. i want to be smart and learn easily and be fun and hot and popular and nice and a good person#i wanna be someone that change peoples lives i wanna be someone good#i wanna be someone that people look up to i wanna be better i wanna be better#i will never be on the same level as that one but i dont mind that. i have somehow managed to lock them into my phone mentally#theyre not real and i will never meet them or get their love anyway so who cares lol but i still want to be someone#i want to be. better#i want to be better#i want to do better#i want to be someone important#i want to be someone that makes a change#i want to be beautiful#i want to be smart and cool and competent#but instead im locked into my little apartment reading about depressing environmental studies and crying over the red list#i dont want to be less than#i dont like being powerless i hate being looked down on and pity makes my blood boil#there's nothing worse than being pitied#or being infantilized or made to feel powerless and small#i get so angry and frustrated and hopeless and sad and ugh#i want to be someone you cant look down on#i want to be special#i want to stop comparing myself#i dont know how#i get jealous and i get frustrated and i get desperate#i feel so fucking useless right now#i feel so pathetic#i hate feeling pathetic
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Scary Sunset.
I'm concepting things way outta order in this story, but I'm sure you can piece things together. Context is for a storybeat where, after defeating and capturing Adagio (thus having all three sirens in her possession), Sunset enacts her revenge plot to release the sirens on Canterlot as Thea discovers she's been manipulated. In a confrontation, the two scuffle and fight over the siren orbs while Sunset struggles with her conflicting wants and emotions.
#mlp#sunset shimmer#twilight sparkle#twiset#the orbs are the glass balls sunset carries on her back btw its in her cast line up art#deep down sunset hates thea. she was named “twilight” by celestia. the time of day succeeding sunset. she was always her replacement#but at this point in the story sunset's also fallen for thea. so it's also a conflict of wills in sunset. love or hatred.#hence the “don't make me do this” language. she's rationalizing her hatred and violence as thea forcing her hand and getting in her way#when in reality she doesn't need to do any of this. it's her last stand and outburst to cling to a life of revenge that she's grown too#fond of. because she knows thea has the power to change that and disrupt her identity as a pathetic victim who fell from glory#and that's scary. thea's a very scary thing to sunset because suddenly sunset wants something and to be someone new.#she suddenly wants to change. to be better for someone else. and she never thought or believed that could be an option for her#anyways toxic yuri yayyy#my art#the grand galloping 20s#character design#i hope i got across the pained conflicted emotions in sunset's face tho i belabored over them these past 3 days#i hope a look of anger and dissonance and guilt and “oh god i don't really wanna hurt you please just obey me” while trying to intimidate#is readable. if so it's all in the eyebrows babey
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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cast out of paradise
#please see my vision here#PLEASE#sorry for injecting my catholic trauma into the silly superhero show guys I can’t help it#the fallen angel#invincible#invincible show#invincible fanart#omni man#omniman#nolan grayson#mark grayson#debbie grayson#crismakesstuff#the original painting ‘the fallen angel’ is just SO HIM#the grief the despair and anger about his own choices#ITS NOLAN!#ok but if you guys let me ramble if I had to assign biblical roles to the graysons#i can see nolan as god himself (or lucifer but more so god tbh) debbie is mother mary and mark is jesus#the whole ‘lamb of god’ motif just fits mark wayyyy too well#also I saw someone make art of debbie and mark as ‘la pietà’ and I’ve been a changed person since#AGAIN SORRY FOR THROWING CATHOLIC IMAGERY AT THE SUPERHERO SHOW#this is how my brain wants to cope w it ig ;-;#catholic imagery
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Thanks.
Prev
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop nature au#fop dev#fop dale#dev dimmadome#dale dimmadome#art#digital art#comic#The 'Thanks' after all of that makes me so insane Im not even sure I can fully articulate why#I mean. He got what he wanted. Honesty. Thats what you wanted right Dev?#what else do you say to that#He's spent his whole life being sure he knew the answer. That deep DEEP down dale did love him#Have you ever seen that post thats like“I was bawling my eyes out and somebody told me to shut up and I was so taken aback I stopped crying#I think he was so stunned that he just stopped crying.#or like when you get so upset that your feelings turn themselves off to protect you#is that a normal thing that happens to people Erm. anyway#Sorry lol as someone born to parents who.. should not have had me. Writing dale basically admitting as much is actually really cathartic#He shouldnt have had Dev. He doesnt love him. He cant. Dev cant do anything to change it. Its just a fact.#Hes not 1:1 with my parents they tried their best ig but like. their best was still pretty awful child neglect LOL
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Get Their Ass.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jin ling#jin chan#Yeah that's right. This guy is a named character. All those nameless disciples in the yi city arc and *this* guy gets a name.#Jin ling finally gets his much needed outfit upgrade! Rest in peace double straps.#I adore how we get to keep learning about Jin Ling and peeling back the layers on him...It's also so sad to see him so alone and friendless#especially knowing he really was starting to build peer friendships in the yi city arc...#Jin ling really is one of my top 5 characters in MDZS and its absolutely in part because of how you can *see* how he ended up this way#and we watch him learn and grow! He's doing what most adults refuse to do: Consider that his opinions are skewed and need to change.#You are NOT immune to propaganda and I adore characters who reflect and struggle with that!#Just because someone with assumed authority says something that fits into what you want to be true does not make it true B*/#In this series about rumours and warped perspectives - Jin Ling is a great example of how hard you have to work for the truth#+1 points of friendship with jin ling: He will self correct himself if he says a slur now
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Maybe he wants to mix it up. Sometimes you get tired of playing the same part. Is that possible? He can change?
The Avengers (2012) // Loki (2021 - )
#mobius#loki#lokius#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#the very definition of to be loved is to be changed!!#funny how meeting someone who freely chooses you above all they've been created to know and serve suddenly makes choice look pretty good#who knew 🥰🙃#honestly the genuine belief mobius has in them is so overwhelmingly beautiful sometimes i think about it and have to just take a minute...#and for loki to return that with such conviction to the point of facing their biggest fears oh i can't ;;;;;#also yes my loki series being open ended agenda continues bc there's no rest until we get at least another season lol#be the energy you want in the world and all that :'))#owen wilson#tom hiddleston#marvel#owenwilsonedit#dianagifs
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it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.
i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.
it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.
#warm up#writeblr#i spent a lot of time picturing our future#how funny to think: in each version of our future#i was never myself#i was someone smarter kinder braver#better adept.#who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me#i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me#people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.#it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy#the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself:#if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay.#for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing.#and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made#it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'.#a few days ago while i was doing something else#i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized .#you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly.#you said: you're doing this to manipulate me.#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO#SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me.#i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness#you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.
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when i said i wanted to understand whatever’s going on in ivan’s head, i didn’t mean like this 😭😭
#alnst ivan#alnst till#ivantill#alien stage#ooooh boy turns out ivan’s self esteem is pretty low in terms of love#makes total sense but it’s not what i expected from someone who looked so in control of what he wanted and was willing to pursue from till#he loves humbly which was my first intepretation of him before we even got round 3#it’s changed since then with more (mis)information leaked by vivinos to misdirect our understanding of him#so to get this clear dialogue of his final thoughts is really… clarifying#and terribly sad in a way#ivan loves till so much and is entirely aware that he hasn’t been the most gentle of suitors#god i have many thoughts about this#ahhh ivan baby your feelings aren’t shallow at all
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Great's Dying Brain vs Reality: Tyme being very knowledgeable
4MINUTES (2024) EP. 3 // EP. 6
+ Bonus :
#4 minutes#4 minutes the series#greattyme#thaidrama#uservix#userrlaura#raeblr#userbon#mjtag#rinblr#esmetracks#userrlana#user25shades#tusersilence#asiandramasource#dramasource#asiandramaedit#fyeahthaidramas#tansgifs#gifs:fourm#like what is fascinating is that great didn't change everything about tyme#what he did was mostly just making tyme's motivation to get close to him to not ONLY being about tyme wanting to get at his father#even if tyme's stalker personality is still visible at least he wants to know about great right?#by god this kid just want someone to actually want him for who he is and he will take the stalker if that's what he gets#i love that tyme just told him in the real timeline that he stalked him like great didn't care about the clip so whats a little stalking#again cannot blame great for wanting some comfort before he died even if that comfort is completely fabricated#the longer you look at great's life the sadder it gets#alright enough with the sad sets tomorrow we laugh
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I've seen a lot of different takes on Fear Toxin/other fear causing stuff (Yellow Lanterns Ring or something)(later just called Fear Toxin cause I'm lazy) but here is another one.
Danny seems like he isn't affected by Fear Toxin because his biggest fear is that his accident changed him so much he is no longer human, he can no longer truly experience human things.
So when he gets lungful of fear Toxin, he feels normal. He was antsy before, because c'mon, it's a rogue attack but it's not worse. Or so he thought. Because the anxiety lingers. Not enough to register as abnormal just this slight hypervigilance that makes you see things about yourself and your surroundings that you'd never realize otherwise. He'd realize he doesn't blink as often. He'd realize that if he doesn't consciously focus, he sometimes seems to not touch the ground. Forgets to breathe. He can't feel his own pulse at time. He'd realize people will miss him when he's walking down the street as if he was invisible (people just don't care about everyone they pass by). When he'd look straight into his reflection, he'd look slightly to the left. Not enough to actually name anything that was wrong but just stretched enough to fall on the wrong side of the uncanny valley. If he just caught his reflection in the peripheral vision, it'd be vaguely shadowy creature with glowing green eyes and white smoke instead of hair. Overall he'd be just wrong enough to be distinctly not human.
For everyone else, he'd be just a dude. Literally couldn't find more normal dude than this dude. Will pass as absolutely normal human unless someone is specifically looking for ecto-ghost stuff. Even most magic users wouldn't clock him at the glance
Tldr: Fear Toxin makes Danny perceive himself as some sort of eldritch horror but not enough to make him believe he'd actually be affected, while from outside perspective he's Just A Dude™
#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#fear toxin#please no Ghost King#nothing against this au but i don't think it'll mesh well woth this idea#probably works best with danny soon after accident#maybe still believing all of his parents anti-ghost propaganda#that'd add to angst for sure#idk why he is somewhere where he could be affected#idk who would realize something is wrong#up to whoever wants to do expand on this prompt#he'd cry when someone tells him he's been in fact affected by fear causing thing#because this means he *is* human and while he was fundamentally changed by his death#it didn't fully get rid of his humanity#but he won't tell that too busy being relieved so whoever delivered the news would be in for the ride#actually it'd be cool if it was someone who has superpowers but they showed up later in their life#parallels y'know#... i may still not be normal about “i wonder what could lie beyond infinity” by Numinous_Scribe on ao3...#top notch fic go read it great Clark characterization#anyway because plot kinda escaped me#hope this idea scratches someone's creative braincell or something#im curious what y'all will make out of it#yellow lantern#have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part
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Hmmm just gonna spit this headcanon out in text post form since A. I don't think I could exposit it well enough in image form and B. It's not actually textually/thematically substantiated and I don't like actually staking my stuff on just vibes alone*
But anyway. I'd say it's pretty evident that all the islanders forgot their names, right? King obviously. Because why the hell else would he do that, but also Siffrin No Middle Names No Last Name.
They're 'pretty sure' they've 'always' been 'Just Siffrin' 'as long as they can remember'. It's a pretty cruel twist of the knife to say that they don't even get to keep their birth name as a memento, which is why I'm saying as such.
My utterly unsubstantiated claim is I think it'd be cute to say that Sisyphus *is* the name Siffrin initially picked, assuming the myth of King Sisyphus is recontextualised as idk, just a play or something in the setting. But I like the idea of Siffrin going 'oh shit 🫵 he's just like me fr' at a tortured fictional character long before the irony kicks in.
As for how Sisyphus -> Siffrin. I think that chronic mumbler and emotional doormat Sif just did not correct people who misheard the name during their time travelling, and went through enough places with incompatible phonologies (pronounceable sounds in the language) without ever really writing it down that it just got kinda. Changed until it was unrecognisable, and Siffrin just went with it until the earlier pronunciations slipped out of their swiss-cheese brain. And they just kinda don't remember any of that.
Also, something something the horrid realisation that Siffrin also named themselves after a King. Just not as blatantly.
*(though I think there's something here about Siffrin, a guy from a belief system that seems to thoroughly disincentivise autonomy and self-motivated choice continuously having their hand forced to make changes/choices they don't want but have no choice but to... It's not solid enough to really back this up tbh, but it informs it.)
Anyway.
#theres also something one of my french-speaker friends said about siffrin's official pronounciation being the feminine way to pronounce -in?#which i dont know enough about to really corroborate and theyre busyyyy and havent started the game yet so i cant really ask#im sure someone else has already voiced this easy-to-come-up-with headcanon anyway but just in case nobody has i decided to post it#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#isat siffrin#isat loop#i also personally picture sif (and loop especially) being more hostile to the concept of changing themselves after The Encounter#both of them being big grudge-holders and that 'want' to control your own destiny being clearly against how they interpret the universe#as for whether they should be so hostile? probably not! but they appear to be anxious in fear of some kind of divine retribution should#they like. ever even dare to Want. and uh. well. that certainly went well for Loop. not sure they'd be gung-ho to do it again#so Loop being able to go 'oh well it wasn't my REAL name' as a salve for having to make a new identity AGAIN....#while sif is explicitly clinging to it as an anchor for Who They Are If Nothing Else.. they can upset each other and also mirabelle i think#lucabytetalks
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Sometimes, you just have to rewrite/rework the things you don't like in your favorite shows for your own sanity.
For instance this scene:
Oh sure I could just let this be as a simple joke about how obsessive Donnie is over April.
OR
I could believe that Donnie has memorized most or all of NYC’s layout and, with that information, he can calculate the distance between any two points in the city. Why does he do this you might ask? Because he is a massive overthinker.
He wants to know how far everything is or should be just in case something bad happens. Like for instance: if he was somehow blinded, he'd know how many steps he is to the nearest manhole cover or to any safe place he can think of.
His knows how far April’s apartment is, not because he has a crush on her, but because it's the result of survival tactic he’s perfected.
#if I was to change one thing about tmnt 2012 it would be Donnie’s crush on April#I think what I would have done is change him to just be obsessed with humans in general#I think it would fit his character. he’d sort of ve like Ariel in the little mermaid#just someone who wants to fit in with people and explore the world up above#then after establishing April as a friend MAYBE I would consider trying to make them an item#but that is a BIG maybe#tmnt#tmnt 2012#teenage mutant ninja turtles#2012 raph#2012 donnie#2012 leo#2012 mikey#april o'neil#2012 april#tmnt donatello#tmnt leonardo#tmnt raphael#tmnt michelangelo#tmnt mikey#tmnt donnie#tmnt raph 2012#tmnt raph#tmnt leo 2012#tmnt leo
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one of the things that bothers me most about late seasons btvs is the lack of continuity in relationships. like main events seem to carry over for the core crew, and the general emotion is there, but sometimes it feels like there should be stronger foundations where there is just sand, and it's incredibly disorienting. this seems to especially happen with spike, where he will have consistently positive and impactful interactions with the main characters in ways that should by all means be changing their impressions of him, and then in the next episode it's like none of that ever happened. that's enemy #1 soulless evil unthinking spike again, even though one scene ago you were playing pool with him and clearly realizing he experienced emotions and would die for you. like ??? where's the emotional follow-through.
#btvs#spike btvs#spuffy#scoobies#i get it in a sense because if you really wanted to change their perspectives#youd actually have to dedicate time to those relationships#which from a show making perspective i can see being a hassle#but also?? as someone who's becoming a main side character it seems bizarre NOT to dedicate more time to those relationships#anyways there is a spike scoobies weird 'this is our freaky adhd vampire hang-on' relationship that exists mostly in my heart#and should by all rights exist in canon as well#that i consider 100% true to the material if it had been written well#and allotted more time to side character relationships#and less time to weird extraneous shit#or even like. both at once
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Turtle Takedown Teamwork.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#tulu xuanwu#Something about changing the action sequence to something gentle is hilarious to me.#The lesson here is “Be nice to turtles. They are gentle creatures. And many are very endangered.”#don't get me wrong here; I love this scene a lot. LWJ's string technique is one of my favoyrite things.#We do get a fair amount of LWJ fighting but I always loved how the theme of strings comes into play.#There is actually a lot to unpack with LWJ being associate with 'strings'.#The musicianship: Of dedication and rigor in one's practice.#The tension between following along a path or composing your own way forwards (playing what has been written vs composing)#A string is a tightly coiled/taunt entity; The same tension that makes it sing so beautifully can be it's downfall if pushed too hard.#And as a non-musical string - something that binds. Be it to his sect and family or how he binds his fate to WWX -#LWJ cannot exist without his binds. It is not something which ties him down though. It keeps him together.#And he himself *is* a bind. He 'ties wwx down' in ways that are initially negatively viewed ('come to gusu' - feels like: come be trapped)#But later it is shown how (despite being introduced as a free spirit) WWX truly wants to be bound to something and someone.#Marriage is a bind he wants. He wants to be tied and grounded by LWJ.#It's starting to sound like innuendo. Let's call his fondness for being literally tied up smart thematic writing.#Finally. Sex scenes that are important to the plot and characters
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