#i want to be her friend and i've tried so hard
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ALL’S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR - LN4
↳ pt.1
summary : Its the vacation of your dreams! With your best friends, rich men, live music, and flowing drinks, nothing can ruin it. Even if a certain Formula 1 driver (who seems to have an affinity for annoying you) is there every step of the sandy way.
listen up : suggestive themes! swearing! ‘enemies’ to lovers. probably my last sunny vacation fic for a while! get ready for winter fics!! cmt if you want a pt. 2 <3
word count : 4570
⋆。‧˚⋆
“Y/n!” Kika throws a pillow onto me. I groan in response, pulling the blanket over my head, “Get up! Get up! We’re leaving in thirty!”
I fall off the bed and start my rushed process of getting ready, we’re in Marmaris, Turkey for a little holiday. A holiday that I've been promised is for friends, yet every friend I have is with a man.
Kika, Alex, Rebecca, and Lily promised they would act like single ladies with me! That’s clearly not true because of the love they have for their boyfriends and how those same men never leave their sides.
The only other addition is someone I don’t want to talk about. Someone who’s a pain in my ass and the construction to my headache.
I’m instantly in a better mood when my friends and I start taking photos and making tik toks. I’m in a light blue dress and sandals, my skin is practically yearning to be tan but that will start tomorrow.
I have my own hotel room which I intend to spend no time in unless I'm hooking up with a hot turkish man. Lily holds my hand as we start walking. The guys said they would meet us there and I’ll never not treasure time with my girls.
The sun has already set but the sky is still a dark blue and orange. Lily squeals next to me, she’s in the cutest white mini dress, “I can’t believe we’re here!”
Kika laughs in a long yellow dress, “The trip literally made it out of the group chat!”
I eye them, “More like it was infiltrated by another groups chat!” Alex laughs and puts her hand on my arm.
“I promise it’ll be fun. I know you’re a little sad but we’ll find you someone!”
“It’s not even that- I just want to be with you guys.” They all seem a bit sad about it. It’s not like I don’t like their boyfriends, I consider them my friends too! It’s just that I was really looking forward to some much needed girl time.
“You are with us!” Alexandra frowns.
Lily swings are hands, “You’re with us and five other idiots who have money!”
This makes me laugh as we make it to the restaurant. It’s beautiful, part of the hotel, and looking right over the water.
The guys are already sitting. Charles, Pierre, Alex, Carlos all smile at me, kissing their girls as we sit. There is one missing, though. It’s hard to ignore but I'm definitely not complaining.
Drinks are ordered and our thoughts about the hotel is passed around. I became friends with this group through Lily, we grew up together and when Alex suggested I should come to a grand prix, I was hooked.
The other girls took to me immediately and were so excited to have another friend that they actually like. I don’t travel as much as them, but I do see them often enough.
We haven’t gotten together in a group like this though in forever!
I sip on my cocktail and talk to Carlos as his eyes stray past me. I turn to look at what he’s distracted by and have to fight the urge to roll my eyes.
You know those people who just really piss you off? The type that just irks you even though you’ve tried to hear your friends out?
That is how I feel about Lando Norris.
He strolls up to our table as if he isn’t late. He’s in blue jeans and a white button down that’s definitely not buttoned enough. His hair is messy and looks like he just woke up, “Hey.” Is all he says before plopping down next to Carlos and sipping his water.
Rebecca already sends me a look that screams, ‘Leave it.’ So I do, I order my food and talk to my friends while avoiding the man two seats down from me.
It’s not just that Lando bugs me, It’s that he’s repeatedly cocky and flat out annoying. He teases me any chance he gets and it never fails to ruin my day. He knows it too.
“What’s the plan for tomorrow?” Pierre asks as he puts his arm around Kikas chair, everyone’s food is nearly gone and I'm more than ready to climb into my plushy hotel bed.
Alex holds Lily’s hand, “Beach, explore, eat? That’s also my plan for every day of our trip.”
Charles nods, “My buddy has a boat out here that he said we can borrow one day.”
I smile and lean my head on Kika’s shoulder, “I'll be anywhere you guys go, with a book and an apple.”
“You still into that?” His voice already pisses me off. I look at Lando who’s staring at me, “Reading.”
I blink. “Are you still into being illiterate?”
Charles covers his laugh with a cough as Alexandra shakes her head, “Hey! You two need to keep it civil this trip.”
Carlos eyes Lando pointedly as he groans, “Why? I didn’t even do anything! The witch said I was illiterate!”
I sit up straighter immediately, leaning over Carlos as my friends talk in a haze around me, “You really wanna see a witch, Norris, I’ll fucking show you!”
“The worst thing you could do to me is throw sand in my face!” I groan as he rolls his eyes and Kika pulls me back into my seat.
“This is what we’re talking about!” When she whispers is when I realize the people dining around us are staring.
“It’s one week!” Pierre shakes his head, “One week of peace!”
I don’t dare look at Lando, my arms crossed.
He gives in peace, “I won’t start anything if she won’t.”
“Perfect, I'll have a great trip of silence.” Fine by me. I can ignore him for a week, easy.
Lily and Rebecca exchange looks as Lando speaks again, “It’ll be nice not hearing your-” Carlos slaps his arm and he shuts up.
I sigh in my seat, this is going to be an interesting week.
⋆༺
I start off my first full day with breakfast. I’m up early and decided to make the most of it by enjoying my food with a beach view.
I grin when I see that there’s two pieces of bacon left, grabbing them swiftly and plopping it onto my plate just when someone goes to reach for it.
I look up to see Lando. He’s sweaty and in running clothes, looking at me annoyed per usual, “Seriously? Who takes the last two pieces?”
I raise a brow, “Me. You literally just saw me do it.”
He gives me a bored expression, “Didn’t you ever get taught manners?”
“I got taught how to get what I want.” I bite into the piece of bacon just to watch him flinch. “Weren’t you taught that it’s not nice to be insufferable?”
“Can’t you share? It’s one piece.” I take another bite, pretending to think.
“Hm… No!”
“We’re supposed to be civil. Friends even!” He steps closer, “I know you would give the piece to Lily.”
“You’re too greedy.” I finish the first piece of bacon and start to walk away. He scoffs and follows me.
“Me!? Greedy?” He scoffs, plate still in hand. I eye it, it’s mostly empty except for a nutella crepe, “You know what- never mind.”
I nod, “Great job being civil, Norris. I’m so proud of you and you for giving up.”
He does not find this funny, “I can’t stand you.”
“Then sit.” His eyes narrow at my words.
“Fuck it, Free will!” and with that, he grabs the piece of bacon off my plate and runs!
“Norris!” I yell after him but when he turns, he’s smiling with a mouth full of bacon. “Dickhead.” I mumble to myself and continue getting my food.
⋆༺
I’m warm, I'm tipsy, and I'm listening to live music. I don’t think life could get any better. I sit up on my beachside chair, lifting my sunglasses to see Lily, Alex, Charles, and Alexandra playing chicken in the water.
Kika stirs next to me, she was asleep on her stomach but slowly sits up when she hears our friends laughing.
I watch Lando and Pierre floating and Carlos swimming towards them. Rebecca went to get drinks so that just leaves Kika and I.
“How’s the whole ‘civil’ thing going?” She’s in an orange bikini that makes her look unfairly tan.
I shrug, “Bad? I just can’t imagine talking to him normally. We always fight.” I sip my drink, the glass coats my hand in condensation but it cools me down.
“Maybe you should just fuck.” I choke on my drink. She doesn’t even attempt to hide her laugh, “Sorry, Sorry!”
“Kika!” I slow my breathing, “Why would you say that!?”
“It makes sense! You’ve got a lot of pent up energy… I’m just saying!” I shake my head, pulling my sunglasses back on and laying down again. “I know you’re attracted to him.”
I pray that she thinks my cheeks are red from the sun, and not from her words. “I am not.”
“You can't lie to me!” She laughs, “It’s not a bad thing, Y/n. You both just need to shut up for two seconds and get eachother shirtless.” Lily walks up right as she says that.
She plops down onto the sand, “Whatever this is about- I agree!”
“She’s trying to get me to- Nope! I’m not even going to say it!” I can’t have that manifestation in my life.
“I think she should hook up with Lando.”
“Completely agree. Just make it quick.”
“If he’s with her, he’s gonna be quick.” Kika jokes and I actually laugh at that one.
“Okay enough! I’m not taking any advice from you two!” I stand, pulling my hair tie out of my hair and starting down the beach.
“Think about it!” Lily yells as I flip her off.
Now all I can think about is hooking up with him. I mean, I hate the dude, but I’m not blind.
Lando is fucking fit. But it’s hard for me to see past his assholeness. So the probability that i’m going to fuck him, is slim. Very slim. Like ZERO.
Just as I'm off in my Lando Norris shirtless world, a shirtless Lando Norris walks up to me. He’s exiting the ocean, pushing his wet curls back as he laughs with Carlos.
I look away as soon as I get a glimpse of his torso. The cool water feels great on my legs as I walk in the ocean. I sink down and dunk my head, opening my eyes underwater, I see the tiny fish and shells.
I reach down and grab a handful of sand, when I get air again, Carlos and Lando are next to me. I push the sand off my hand to reveal some shells and a tiny crab, “Aw!” I smile at it, showing it to the boys.
Carlos raises his brows, “Looks harmful.”
“Harmful?” I glance at him, “He’s a baby!” I hold it closer to him and he backs away like it’s going to jump on him.
I turn to Lando and do the same, he backs away as well, “Pussy.” I say it to his face and he clearly takes it as a challenge.
He holds his hand out and snatches the crab right from my hand, “Are you just a thief by nature?”
He gives me a look before bringing his hand closer to his face to examine the sea creature. I step closer to see it, “It’s adorable.”
“It’s a crab.”
“Thank you, Norris, for your insightful words of wisdom.” I go to take it back from him but he jumps and throws his hand down.
I let out a huge laugh when I realized it’s holding onto his thumb, “Shit! Ow!”
I keep laughing as Lando panics, swinging his hand around to try to get it off. Carlos is long gone by now, not amused by his friends' antics.
The crab finally unclips itself from Lando and he looks like he was just betrayed. I grin, “Maybe I am a witch!”
He looks me up and down, holding his hand and thinking. “If you call me a bitch that crab won’t be the worst thing that hurts you today.”
And then something weird happens.
He smiles.
He just smiles and walks away.
⋆༺
LANDO
Marmaris is stunning. The water is clear and besides me getting bitten, I'm having a great time. We end up going into town to get lunch and I'm faced with the issue of Y/n’s ass in my face as we walk up what feels like a million stairs.
I really feel like she’s doing this on purpose but I could be thinking that to just make myself feel better about checking her out.
She’s in tiny low waisted jean shorts. I can see her bikini bottoms peeking out from the sides. Her top is a crocheted cover up so her sliver of a bathing suit is still on display.
Carlos pushes my back when I slow down on the steps, I turn around to swear at him but he’s giving me an all knowing look so I close my mouth.
After what feels like hours of staring at Y/n’s backside, we make it to the lunch place. It’s hidden quite far up and we all get cramped into the room with a huge window and a view of lemon trees.
With our stupidly coupled up group, I'm forced to sit with Y/n. She’s across from me, sipping on her water and leaning on the table with her arms crossed.
When she notices I'm staring at her, she glares at me. I can tell she’s about to say something snappy, but eyes our friends and shuts her mouth.
As much as she pissed me off, I find it fun to annoy her. I like the way her cheeks heat and how her lips press together, but I would never admit that to her.
“Did you go for a run this morning?” Carlos asks me while shoveling food into his mouth.
“Yeah and the gym- it’s nice.”
“And quiet?” I nod, knowing what he means. Five Formula 1 drivers on vacation together is pretty hard to miss. But besides a stare or two, no one has said anything to us.
Lily claps her hands together, “Who wants to go golfing with me on wed-”
Y/n groans, putting her head in her hands, “No!” Kika looks horrified at the suggestion as well.
“Yes!” Carlos and I say at the same time. Lily has been a great addition to our golfing group and by far the best out of the three of us.
Rebecca laughs, “I’m with Y/n on this one. I’m feeling… spa?” This immediately perks Y/n up.
“That sounds perfect!” Alex smiles, “Girls day! Minus Lily because she’s actually good at a sport.”
Charles eyes us all, “I wanna go to the spa. I hate golfing.”
⋆༺
YOU
When Rebecca suggested we take a cooking class, I thought it was a great idea! I’m not the best cook so why not learn something? I had a bad feeling as soon as we entered and the room was decorated with hearts.
“Welcome! Welcome!” A man ushers us in along with two other groups. The room is large with one wall completely open and facing the beach. “Everybody get a table and we shall begin!”
“I knew I missed something on the website…” Alex cringes as we stare at the tables set for two, “Sorry? Lando, careful with Y/n and knives!”
A couples cooking class!? You’ve got to be kidding. I look at Lando the same time he turns to me, “Well, love… Let me handle the sharp things. I value my life.”
This is going to be the longest hour ever.
“My lovely people in love!” The man is short, with gray hair and the biggest smile I've seen in a while, “My name is Ali and today we begin making the dough for Kemal Pasha!” Apparently the kind we’re making is sweet balls of dough with a very delicious sounding syrup.
I’m standing next to Lando who’s struggling with his apron. They have huge heart pockets and his is bright green. As fun as it is to see him struggle, I want to start cooking soon.
“Give me that.” I swat his hands away and step behind him, taking the pieces of fabric and tying a knot.
“Thank you, Sweetness.” I suspect that this teasing won’t end soon, considering the man teaching the class asked everyone what their names were and put a name tag on each table of the couples ‘ship’ name.
I tie it tight and he flinches, “Hey my girl is trying to kill me!” I roll my eyes and loosen the bow, listening to the man and thanking the woman who’s walking around to make sure everything is correct.
I pour in all the ingredients and Lando starts stirring. I look around at all the couples, they’re doing everything together while looking all lovey dovey.
It makes me miss my ex. Which is weird because we barely acted like this alone. But still, seeing Alex and Lily laugh with flour already on their faces makes me sad.
“Angel!” Lando calls for me again as I put my hand on my hip. He has his hand out that’s covered in white powder, “C’mere!”
“No!” I back up but he’s already pulling me in and squeezing my face. I frown, my face squished between his hand as he laughs. I can feel the flour covering my face. I put on a slow smile when he drops his hand, “Aw, love bug!”
Nothing about my tone is loving and I can tell he’s not excited by the way his face drops. “Now darling…” He backs away as I pour some of the flour from the container into my hand, “I told you i’ll let you lick food off of me later, not here!”
I scoff at his audacity and throw the flour right into his face. When he opens his eyes, I slap my hands over my mouth. His whole face is white and when he breathes out, some comes out of his mouth.
I hold back a laugh as he stares at me, along with the rest of the room, “Oh baby… you’ve got a little.” I motion to his whole face, “Just a little something right there.”
“Er…” The man blinks at us, “True love comes in many forms!” He laughs uncomfortably as we get back to mixing our dough.
“That was not a fair move, Love.” Lando whispers to me as I knead the dough between my hands. His face is wiped off but the flour still resides a bit in his hair and cheeks.
“All's fair in love and war.” I say sweetly.
“Alright ladies, If your man isn’t helping you with his big strong muscles…” Ali eyes us, “Remind them who you are! Men, help your women!”
I turn back at Lando, looking up at the driver, “Do you need reminding?”
He just bites his lip and turns me back around, his hands on my waist. That, I did not expect. My hands go back to the dough in the bowl and his arms move into view, copying the other couples and massaging the treat with me.
I swallow and eye the veins in his arms that go all the way to his hands. His very big hands. The same hands that softly reach over mine.
His touch is surprisingly gentle as he matches my movements. I try to not think about how close he is to me, and focus on the dough but fuck that because I can feel him behind me.
I move back a bit unconsciously and his hand goes to waist to stop me, “Do you need reminding?” His voice is deep in my ear and I fight the urge to roll my eyes even though I know my cheeks are hot.
I thank god when Ali says we will be moving onto rolling the dough into little balls.
I swiftly move away from Lando and don’t dare look at Alex or Kika who I know is looking at us. I start rolling the dough in between my hands.
Lando glances at me, his balls sort of uneven and too small, “Your balls are ugly.” Lando chokes on air and whips his head around to look at me.
“Excuse me?” I roll my eyes at his suggestive tone and show him one of mine, “Ah so you’re a ball expert? Working from experience?”
He’s so childish it makes me want to throw one of these at him. Sadly, I'm not above acting suggestively, “Never worked with any so small.” I shrug as he stares at me. That shuts him up really quick as we place them on a round baking sheet.
We take a short break while they bake and I venture outside, looking over the balcony to the sea far below us.
My skin feels rejuvenated by the sun, I’m tanner and I swear the air is just different here. Alex appears next to me, he looks quite happy, “Having fun?”
I shrug and realize that I actually have been. “Uh… yeah.”
“You know, I think everyone else thinks you’re a real couple. It’s cute.” I gape at him. Is Alexander Albon betraying me right now?
“It is not cute. He’s bullying me.” He just snorts.
“Sure…”
I frown when Ali calls us back in. Lando and I are mostly quiet while stirring our syrup. As it boils, he nudges me. I look up to see him watching another couple.
They’re practically making out and feeling eachother up. I let out a laugh that his eyes widened at, “You’re so not inconspicuous.” He whispers, leaning down a bit.
“They are definitely not paying any attention to me…” They’re so wrapped up in each other that they don’t even notice when Ali turns their mini stove top off so their sauce doesn’t burn.
He looks down at me one last time, sending me a tiny smile. I think it’s the first time I'm genuinely attracted to him when his shirt is still on. Shit.
⋆༺
LANDO
Besides Y/n trying to kill me with the dessert we made, we were civil throughout the rest of the class. We get to take home a small box which leaves everyone in a good mood.
“Here, pretty, I don’t think I can eat that without feeling sick.” I don’t mean to call her that, but I just say what comes to my mind. I hand her the box and takes it without any change of expression.
I’m ready to leave but Ali claps his hands together one more time, “My lovebirds!” Y/n gives me a look that I laugh at, “One more gift for a very special couple of… well, couples!”
He pulls out three pieces of paper. Handing one to the couple that was making out he says, “Most affectionate!”
Then he turns to Pierre and Kila and hands them one, “Best dessert!” I realize these papers are some typos of superlatives.
I think he’s going to go to Charles and Alexandra, but he turns to Y/n and I. A big grin on his face, he hands me a paper. I read it before he says it and my eyes widen, “The most authentic love!” I don’t look at her, I can’t.
“I hope one day you all come back!” And with that, we’re ushered back and stripped of our aprons.
Y/n is already walking down the marble steps with Lily and Rebecca next to her. Carlos just shakes his head and slaps his hand on my shoulder, “Man… Congratulations!”
I eye him as Alex laughs, “I’m framing that!”
⋆༺
YOU
Six hours later, i’m in a tiny white dress, my hair curled and makeup done, and on my way with Rebecca and Alex to a club.
Everyone’s already left but Alex took extra long to slick back her hair. “So!” Rebecca grins as we walk past the beach, “Plan for tonight? Hook up with a local? Make out on the beach?”
I laugh at her enthusiasm, “I’ll see where the night and vodka takes me! I really just need a hot dance partner and a good drink.”
And that’s exactly what I get. I get my drink and well.. many hot dance partners! My friends and I scream the lyrics of the songs we know, holding hands and jumping around.
The club is part of the resort we’re staying at. It’s half on the beach and half in the beach bar that has a 24 hour drink service. I laugh at the guys who are awkwardly waiting for their girls to join them again.
“Okay, go, go!” They leave me at the bar and as soon as they’re gone, a man approaches me.
He’s very tall and very blonde, “Hi.” he’s got an accent but I can’t tell from where, “I couldn’t help but notice you dancing…” I listen to the same line that a hundred guys have fed me before. “Could I buy you a drink?”
Now this is what I like! Ten minutes later I'm dancing with him and a vodka lemonade. His hands are on my waist as I laugh.
He’s hot against me, his hair sweaty and salty. His name is Leon and he really likes my dress. I have a feeling he would like me without it too.
“Are you staying at the hotel?” He asks, screaming in my ear.
I nod, “Are you?”
“I’m staying in town with a friend!” I nod and sip my drink as he talks, “Do you know him?” I frown at his words, turning to see who he’s talking about.
I roll my eyes at Lando who’s standing with a pretty girl but staring at me. I turn back to Leon, “No!”
He looks like this annoys him, “Well i’m not surprised! You’re hot!” I nod as the music continues and keep dancing with him.
He turns me around so he’s staring at my ass instead of my face. But I just slip my fingers into my hair and keep dancing. I open my eyes to see Lando again. The girl is still talking but he’s still staring at me.
I run my middle finger around the rim of my glass, the sugar lifting onto my skin. His expression stays dark and focused on me as his hand goes to his jeans pocket. I lift my finger to lips, licking off the sugar without breaking eye contact.
He brings his drink to his lips and that’s when I realize I've had a bit too much to drink because he looks too damn hot.
He’s in a light blue shirt, his silver rings and LN4 necklace sat on his skin like it belongs there. His hair is damp with I don’t know with what… sweat, water, or the air, I don’t care. His jaw ticks at Leon’s hand moves from my waist to my stomach, my head dropping back on his shoulder, and spinning back around.
He kisses me, it’s messy and drunken but I don’t care. It’s only when he whispers, “Let’s get out of here.” When I'm massively turned off.
I end up back with my friends, Lando nowhere in sight and a smile on my face as we sit at the bar and drink.
#fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#f1 fic#lando x reader#lando imagine#lando norris fluff#lando x you
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nicholas chavez x ex!reader
a/n: no disrespect to either of them or relationship all of this is just fiction!
Nicholas and y/n had a special connection when they dated. Their time together was filled with laughter, shared secrets, and memorable moments. However, as life moved on, they drifted apart, and Nicholas eventually found himself in a new relationship with a girl named Victoria.
Victoria is wonderful—kind, smart, and everything Nicholas could ask for in a girlfriend. Yet, despite his happiness with her, y/n is always in the back of his mind. He often finds himself reminiscing about the times he spent with y/n, the unique bond they shared, and the way she understood him like no one else.
Even though Nicholas tries to focus on his present with Victoria, there are moments when a song, a place, or a random memory brings y/n back to the forefront of his thoughts. He wonders how she's doing, if she thinks about him too, and whether their paths will cross again. This lingering presence of y/n in his mind makes him question if he ever truly moved on, or if a part of him will always belong to her.
Nicholas and Victoria were out for a casual stroll one Saturday afternoon when they unexpectedly ran into y/n. The encounter took Nicholas by surprise, and he felt his heart skip a beat. Y/n looked as beautiful and confident as ever, and seeing her brought a rush of memories flooding back.
"Hey, y/n. It's been a while. How have you been?" Nicholas asked, trying to keep his composure.
"I've been good. Just busy with work and everything. How about you?" Y/n replied with a warm smile.
"I've been alright. This is Victoria, by the way. Victoria, this is y/n," Nicholas introduced them, his voice slightly shaky.
"Nice to meet you, y/n!" Victoria said cheerfully.
"Nice to meet you too, Victoria. So, what have you been up to, Nicholas?" Y/n asked, her eyes lingering on him.
"Oh, you know, just the usual. Work's been keeping me busy. It's really good to see you, though," Nicholas responded, feeling a mix of emotions.
"Yeah, it's good to see you too. You look well," y/n said, her smile softening.
"Thanks. You too," Nicholas managed to say, his mind racing.
Victoria, sensing the tension, chimed in, "We should catch up sometime, all of us. It would be fun."
"Sure, that sounds nice," y/n agreed. "Well, I should get going. It was great running into you both."
"Yeah, take care, y/n," Nicholas said, watching her walk away.
As y/n disappeared into the crowd, Nicholas couldn't help but feel a pang of longing. He realized that his feelings for her were still very much alive, leaving him deep in thought about what to do next.
Victoria and Nicholas had been having a wonderful evening at home when the topic of y/n came up. It started innocently enough, with Nicholas mentioning their recent encounter.
"You know, it was really nice seeing y/n the other day," Nicholas said, trying to keep his tone casual.
Victoria's expression changed slightly. "Yeah, it was. But, Nicholas, I've noticed you talk about her a lot lately."
Nicholas looked puzzled. "What do you mean? She's just an old friend."
"Is she really just an old friend?" Victoria asked, her voice growing more tense. "Because it feels like there's more to it."
Nicholas sighed. "Victoria, you're overthinking this. Y/n and I have history, but that's all in the past. You're the one I'm with now."
Victoria shook her head. "I don't know, Nicholas. It just feels like there's something unresolved between you two. And it bothers me."
Nicholas's frustration began to show. "What do you want me to do, Victoria? I can't erase my past. Y/n is a part of it, but she doesn't have to be a threat to us."
"I just need to know that you're fully committed to us," Victoria said, her eyes pleading.
"I am committed to us," Nicholas said firmly. "But I can't change the fact that y/n was a big part of my life. You have to trust me."
Victoria looked away, tears welling up in her eyes. "It's hard to trust when I see how you look at her."
Nicholas softened, stepping closer to her. "Victoria, I love you. I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel secure. But you have to believe me when I say that Lauren is just a friend now."
Victoria nodded slowly, wiping her tears. "Okay, Nicholas. I believe you. But let's not talk about y/n anymore. Let's focus on us."
"Agreed," Nicholas said, pulling her into a hug. "Let's focus on us."
As they held each other, Nicholas hoped that this would be the end of the tension between them. He knew he had to prove his commitment to Victoria and make sure she felt secure in their relationship.
Nicholas and Victoria were at the local bar when they unexpectedly bumped into y/n again. It was a moment of surprise for all three, but Victoria's reaction was different. As she watched Nicholas and y/n exchange warm smiles and familiar glances, something clicked in her mind. She realized that the connection between Nicholas and y/n was deeper than she had ever imagined. It was in that instant that Victoria understood the true nature of their bond, and a mix of emotions washed over her, leaving her both intrigued and contemplative about what this meant for their future.
Nicholas and Victoria were sitting in their living room when the tension that had been building up finally reached a boiling point. The topic of y/n had come up once again, and it was clear that Victoria was not happy about it.
"Nicholas, I can't believe you're still hung up on her," Victoria said, frustration evident in her voice. "Every time we run into y/n, you act like she's the only person in the room."
Nicholas sighed, rubbing his temples. "Victoria, it's not like that. Y/n and I have a history, yes, but it doesn't mean I'm still in love with her. We're just friends now."
"Friends? Really?" Victoria shot back. "Because it sure doesn't seem that way. You get this look in your eyes whenever she's around, like you're remembering something more than just a friendship."
"That's not fair," Nicholas replied, his voice rising. "I can't control how I feel. But I'm with you now, and that's what matters."
"But is it really?" Victoria asked, her eyes filling with tears. "Because it feels like I'm always competing with her ghost. I need to know that you're fully here with me, not just physically but emotionally too."
Nicholas took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "Victoria, I care about you a lot. I don't want you to feel like you're second to anyone. I'm sorry if I've made you feel that way."
Victoria looked at him, her expression softening slightly. "I just need to know that I can trust you, Nicholas. That you're not going to run back to her the moment things get tough between us."
"I promise you, Victoria," Nicholas said, taking her hand. "I'm committed to us. I'll do whatever it takes to prove that to you."
As they sat there, holding each other's hands, they both realized that this was a turning point in their relationship. They had to work through these issues if they wanted to move forward together.
Nicholas had been feeling increasingly guilty about his relationship with Victoria. He knew deep down that he couldn't continue pretending everything was fine. One evening, he finally mustered the courage to talk to her.
"Victoria, we need to talk," Nicholas began, his voice heavy with emotion. "I can't keep doing this. It's not fair to you or to me. I still have feelings for y/n, and it's not right to lead you on."
Victoria looked at him, her eyes filled with a mix of hurt and understanding. "I knew this was coming, Nicholas. I just hoped things would change."
"I'm so sorry," Nicholas said, his heart breaking at the sight of her tears. "You deserve someone who can give you their whole heart, and I can't do that right now."
After the difficult conversation, Nicholas felt a weight lift off his shoulders, but he was also filled with a sense of loss. He decided to reach out to y/n, needing someone to talk to.
"Y/n, I ended things with Victoria," he confessed over the phone. "I couldn't keep pretending. But now, I feel so lost."
Y/n’s voice was gentle but firm. "Nicholas, I still love you, but we can't be together. Not right now. You need to figure things out for yourself first."
Nicholas sighed, feeling the sting of her words. "I understand, y/n. I just needed to hear your voice."
They both knew that this was a time for healing and self-discovery. Even though they couldn't be together, their connection remained a source of comfort and strength for Nicholas.
#nicholas alexander chavez#nicholas chavez#nicholas chavez imagine#nicholas chavez x reader#nicholas chavez x y/n#nicholaschavezimagines#nicholas chavez fanfiction#nicholas alexander chavez fanfic#nicholas chavez imagines#nicholas chavez fluff#nicholas alexander chavez fanfiction#nicholas alexander chavez Imagines
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While some women might think that Ben’s attention to safety detail was a turn-off, Rebekah found the quirk rather endearing, and funny in an adorable way. Of course, she might still fall under the biased category. Were it any other man, would she still have that stance?
“We could spin you in bubble wrap beforehand, if it’ll make you feel better,” she quipped with a grin, “Or you could wear a helmet and some knee and elbow pads.”
Fortunately, the counter idea seemed to appeal to Ben. Suddenly she was glad that she’d added the suggestion at the last minute. Bekah considered making a lube jest pertaining to the butter, but ultimately decided against it. No need to risk making things awkward again because a joke didn’t land right. Better to quit while she was ahead.
That mattered little, because the reminder of how many times they had left to ‘do the deed’ over the weekend came next, the air suddenly became uncomfortable, but she couldn’t determine if it was because Ben was embarrassed to talk about it, or if it was just because it concerned her – and she hadn’t even mentioned the round they’d need to do Sunday morning before her drive home.
At the very least, he agreed that they should talk about where they liked to be touched �� however cumbersome it seemed.
"What you did earlier was really nice, too...when you were kissing along my...ah..." Ben gestured to his midriff, prompting Bekah’s cheeks to heat up quicker than the sun’s surface. "The whole touching everywhere but there angle is always a little maddening."
“Right. Okay. Good.”
Those three words were all she could manage as she stared down at the flimsy list and tried not to think about the feel of his skin against her lips, the alluring dip where his hip and groin were joined, and the way his abdomen tightened and his chest rose and fell when she’d gone lower.
Heat pooled in her lower half and she shifted on her stool, underlining their names just to give herself something else to focus on. His self-conscious laugh caught her attention and she was surprised to find him leaning closer.
"Is it bad that this is kind of turning me on?"
Had she forgotten how to breathe for a hot second?
C’mon, Bekah. In, then out. Wait. Bad wording choice…
“S-seriously?” she asked, managing a lopsided smile of disbelief.
"God, I don't know if I can take much more of this, Beks...our list is like a submission to Penthouse." He flung up a hand faster than she could respond. "Er...not that I've ever read that, of course, but...there's only so much a guy can listen to before he starts getting unraveled. Alas, it would seem all men truly are the same."
With a sigh, Bekah set the pen down and placed her hands on the counter, consigning to abandon the list, at least for the time being. It was too hard to concentrate when Ben was so close, especially when all she wanted to do was hold him in her arms again.
God, she was pathetic, wasn’t she?
"What about you?" he asked, "Where do you want to be touched?"
“Um…”
Speak, you fool! Enough with the ridiculously long pauses!
“Your work on my inner thigh was kind of nice,” she admitted, hopelessly pink cheeked, “But really, just about anywhere works.”
It was the truth. It didn’t matter at all where he touched her because every bit of contact from him was wanted.
“Okay, you know what?” she sighed again, rising from the stool and mustering up a bit of confidence, “Nix the planning. Maybe spontaneity is a better idea. How about, when we’re with each other, you have my full permission to initiate sex whenever, wherever, and we can go from there? I think as long as we keep communicating, it could work.”
It would be sort of like they were together, but with the sole purpose of having a child rather than a normal functioning relationship. That would be simple enough, right? Regardless, she was going to keep telling herself that.
“Like I said before, you’re my friend and I trust you completely– so much so that I asked you to do this. That means I also trust you with my body. No more addressing the elephant in the room. We’ll treat these weekends like they are: two friends with unconventional benefits.”
Did that sound weird? Was she making this worse?
Recalling that he’d said he was mildly turned on by their conversation, Bekah made the bold choice of edging closer to him, placing her hands on his arms and pressing her lower half against his thigh, her eyes wide and flickering with a look of coquettish intentions.
“Okay?”
Rebekah hummed under her breath, not seeming satisfied with their results. “What about this time around, we try another room, rather than the bed again?" she suggested. "Maybe the shower, or your office?”
Ben smirked. "Call it the teacher in me, but shower sex is dangerous...I'll consider it if the non-slip mat stays on the floor."
God, was it any wonder he was still single? It wasn't exactly sexy to fall into "safety first!" mode, nor was it appealing to be so logical about something that was decidedly all instinct.
Rebekah hesitated. “Or…even here, on the kitchen counter…”
Ben's eyes snapped up to her face. "Unsanitary, but intriguing. Just make sure my arse stays away from the butter dish, and I might be amenable."
Appearing discomfited, Rebekah said in a rush, “We have to go again at least once tonight and twice tomorrow, so we might as well keep things…interesting?”
"Three times," Ben echoed, though more to himself than to her. Cheeks pinkening, he rolled his lips inward and nodded, trying not to think too much about her gasps and the feel of her tongue in his mouth. "Yeah, uh...you're right that repetition is key, but the same positions and process aren't. Laying out precisely what we want might actually make this a little less awkward too, because I'll know I have your explicit permission with every touch."
Rebekah nodded. Her hands twisted the pen in between her fingers, and then she blurted, "W-where do you like to be touched? Your weak spots, I mean..."
Ben exhaled, shifting in his seat. "Um...the usual spots, I'd say. The neck and below the belt are always winners, but I guess that's a given with just about every guy." Here, he hesitated, then added, "What you did earlier was really nice, too...when you were kissing along my...ah..." Awkwardly, he gestured to his midriff. "The whole touching everywhere but there angle is always a little maddening."
Leaning toward her, Ben's face grew impossibly hotter. "Is it bad that this is kind of turning me on?" He ducked his head into his hands, laughing self-consciously. "God, I don't know if I can take much more of this, Beks...our list is like a submission to Penthouse." Quickly, he flung up a hand. "Er...not that I've ever read that, of course, but...there's only so much a guy can listen to before he starts getting unraveled. Alas, it would seem all men truly are the same."
Lowering his hands into his lap, Ben clasped them and watched Rebekah's eyes, fully aware of how indecently close they'd become throughout all this. "What about you?" he asked, his voice a low rumble. "Where do you want to be touched?"
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i’m gonna go no contact w my sister. if that’s currently even possible.
#i want to be her friend and i've tried so hard#but y'know. i can't change a person.#and i also can't put up w being told our parents would've been better off w/out me etc#she's been this way my whole life and jesus Fuck it has done me damage#i just shut off my phone completely cause i don't want her to reach me or make someone else message me#i've had enough#this is genuinely so difficult. she's my sister and i love her but i can't let her keep treating me like this.
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6/11 • Day 3 • Celebration
I Think We Might Be Friends -- Level 40 Convo, featuring my Summoner, Moe! (Uses it/it's pronouns!)
Aka what happens when a mirror reflects a mirror. But like with one of those funhouse mirrors that distort your image. Wouldn't that be fucked up or what
Also also just. Sharena bestie you have me BEWILDERED. I remember so distinctly when I got her 40 convo, waayy back before I had a good read on her character... it struck me, stuck with me for years. I think I finally understand, now, though.
Some close ups of my fave shots!
Also! Coloring this was a last-minute impulse decision, which thankfully paid off! I was sooooo scared though ESP of not making time after. ALL OF THIS TIME. So I took pics beforehand too!
With... kind of inconsistent lighting LMFAO 🧍 I feel like this version has a nice effect too, but! It was important to me to show Moe in full-color, here. Similar, but in opposite directions...
@sharenaweek
#sharenaweek2024#fire emblem#feh#i understand why animation errors occur now. if you notice any wonkiness no you didn't LMFAOOO#THSI WAS..... SUUUUUUCH AN EXPERIENCE THOUGH ........ and i've been WANTING to do this FOR YEARS TBH#she threw me for a loop SO SEVERELY in the beginning. and it just Stuck w me.#what they don't tell you is sharena has a front she wants you to fall for too. but she doesn't even realize she does it...#and i think that's a huge difference between her and al and her and moe. those two are extremely intentional.#sharena... i just get the sense she's desperately trying to just get something to work.#like to me. she's got a case of autistic masking so severe it's hard to see her under there.#but she's trying SO hard. to be herself. but bc of that masking... even though she's devastatingly sincere#she doesn't come off that way. which is why she's so hard to read. why some things feel forced.#why sometimes she comes off disingenuous when like. she couldn't be more genuine if she tried.#which is why she has/had so much trouble making connections esp early on. why her ties would look different than alfonse's#LIKE. v hc territory LMFAO but like. i feel like her character finally clicked for me when i realized#oh. she has trouble making friends too.#sharena#moe tag#summoner oc#my art#my comics
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Honestly Mace would have loved Luke and Leia with his whole heart.
yes!!! honestly he's like a grandparent (in the dynamic way, not age way) bc he was harsh on anakin but you KNOW he's much more caring for the twins, like how a grandparent is strict on their kid but gives their grandkid literally whatever. and anakin's like where was this for me
#i've never drawn anything for it but i think about AUs where anakin's caught or killed n rots is stopped a lot#and then the jedi take the twins and are Too Careful and the twins just Know theres smthn off abt them but dont know what it is#and all the difficulty padme faces bc the jedi fucked anakin up!! she doesnt want them having her kids!!!! the last she has left of Him!!#but whats she supposed to do about her illegal-kids-of-an-evil-jedi against an ancient order backed by the senate and law#and you have obi wan torn between wanting whats best for the galaxy (the twins are carefully trained)#vs wanting whats best for his friend and tbh his brotherwhatever's memory (padme keeps the twins)#very aggressive jedi vs human conflict for him#theres just SO MUCH in those kinda AUs#bit hard to draw to explain tho. like u gotta draw so much for context so ive never rlly tried#but i think abt mace and his relationship w the twins there sm bc you KNOW he wants to treat them coldly and w constant suspicion#but he Just Can't#cause ya know. their dad. went evil. and theyre also INSANELY POWERFUL force users#thanks for the ask!#wow ok went off in the tags abt an au nobody asked for <3#gotta get it out my head somehow ig
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"I grew up- I've always been- Fuck."
Sol huffs and starts over. "Life has always been strange for me. Not just because of my," she gestures vaguely at her ears," condition, but in general." He takes a breath. "Socializing is hard. I don't get people. Growing up I spent a lot of time in nature. Classrooms were a little too loud and way too fucking bright. The kids couldn't keep their hands to themselves, and I didn't care to be polite about it. Who cares if I hurt their feelings, you know? Whenever lunch or recess would roll around, I'd wander off. Find myself ways away from campus, far from flickering lights and prying hands. Was like that 'til...middle school-ish?" She scrunches her nose, staring up at the ceiling, but continues. "The teachers put a stop to it, obviously. I don't blame them. They said I needed to 'connect with my peers'. I'd been doing alright academically, so I guess that's the only real issue they had with me. Luckily for them, I had the perfect plan. I thought-!" He inhales deeply, no use in getting worked up so early. "I thought, 'What better way to make friends than to show off this cool power?' The hearing wasn't so bad then. I could hear maybe...400 feet in each direction? Just a bit longer than a football field."
[Not that I knew that at the time.]
"It's practically nothing, compared to now. Still, more than enough to impress a couple people. Y funcionó. Casi demasiado bien." "There was this girl," [Jayla? Jaelin? Jaslyn?] "She was pretty, popular, outgoing, and a perfect target for my little 'social experiment'. Paired up with her for a project and told her I could hear anything she said from across the room, even if she whispered." Sol waves a hand around lazily. "She didn't believe me, of course. Not until we tested it. Then. Then it became public knowledge. Suddenly, everyone at school wanted to talk to the girl with 'super hearing'. It was tame, at first. People would whisper things from down the hall for me to hear. They'd go further and further, testing the limits of what I could do. We tried spying on the teachers a couple of times. We even got one fired! It was fun." He shrugs. "Of course, a few kids tried to mess with me. They intentionally made loud noises; I think they liked to see me jump. They learned their lesson pretty quick, though. Violence never scared me, and I defended myself just fine. That didn't bother me," she scowls, "No. The problems came once people realized they could use me for gossip." [In hindsight, it's obvious. They're middle schoolers. I don't know what I was expecting. Kindness? Ha.] "I didn't mind it at first. It felt great to be a part of something, and I can't say knowing everything wasn't exhilarating. My friends would ask me to eavesdrop on conversations and tell them what I heard. A lot of it was petty drama, failing 2-week relationships, and the like. It didn't matter to me, I'd successfully socialized like they'd asked me to, and that's all I needed. One day I listened in on the wrong conversation and told the wrong people. And, well. I went from the 'kid with the cool powers' to 'invasive' and a 'freak'." Sol laughs something bitter. "I still had 'friends', technically. They just...needed to use my powers- curse- whatever- whenever they wanted. It's the only way they'd keep me around. I was a tool first, and a friend second. Who cares if I'm sad or tired, or if every noise was too much and I couldn't breathe? Every little way I was different would be scrutinized if I didn't comply. I would be alone again. I'd disappoint them. I hated it. I hated it so much, Morgan. It wasn't even that bad but I-" Her voice started to rise ages ago. She doesn't care. "I just- I hate being treated like an object. I have feelings, opinions, and needs. I am a person. I may not be the smartest, or the nicest, or the prettiest, or the most functional. I may not even be a good one, Dios sabe que nunca lo seré, but- I am a fucking person just like everyone else. Hell! I don't even like people! But you can't just take that away from me. You can't."
The following silence is almost a relief.
Sol knocks harshly on the door.
"Morgan? Morgan, open up!"
He takes a deep breath. A futile attempt to calm her already fraying nerves.
" I can hear you. I know you're in there."
"Alright, alright. I'm coming, jeez."
Morgan grabs their shirt off the back of their chair and shoves it on. They stumble a little as they make it to the door.
They unlock the door, swinging it open. They raise a brow as they take in Sol's disheveled appearance.
His clothes are wrinkled, and the bottom of her jeans damp from coming through the grass. He's breathing heavily, as if he'd been walking for a while.
"The hell happened to you?"
Xe usher her in.
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hello sorry if this is really long and tmi but besties i need some advice
#so this isnt what i usually post but#i really need advice bc i genuinely don't know how to go about this#my mom has a track record for saying really offhand things about trans people and their bodies#and at this point with the way she reacts I've learned to just... not say anything#it doesn't matter how gently I try word it I always get the 'i'm an ally and i'm trying and you *know* that i'm doing my best' response#so this weekend she said something about my cousin being 'biologically male' (they're nonbinary) and kinda shut down in the car and didn't#really say anything#she called me the day after to find out what was wrong#and i told her that she was being disrespectful about trans/nonbinary people and that this is an ongoing issue#and she took it very hard and ended the call very abruptly#she then proceeded to text me paragraphs about how good of an ally she is and how i needed to 'cut her more slack' even tho i've been doing#so for years#and she tried to call twice#and i had to set the boundary twice now of 'please don't reach out i'm not ready to talk and i want us to both step back from this and come#back to it later'#and now i'm putting the convo off because#it feels like theres nothing i can say to her that she'll understand/won't get super defensive about#at this point it feels like i've tried to address this problem as best/gently as i can and it's still isn't enough for her#i think she wants me to just forget about it but i don't want to anymore#sorry this was really long lmao#but please#any tips from my queer friends would be sick thank u#it me
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i'm still thinking about the conversation i witnessed last night :/
#didn't weigh in when it was happening because Brain and just witnessing it was enough to trigger Fear:tm: and fight/flight#lots of complicated feelings about it#all bad feelings#but just. sometimes you witness things that just annihilate your opinions of someone so fast#and i just. don't want to see or talk to her again.#which is a problem because she's tried to initiate a weird romance-flirtation thing over the course of three years.#which i initially reciprocated then gently started to discourage#(she was like ''no romance between us i don't want to do anything long distance'' proceeds to ask me to fly up to see her.#offers to pay for flights and have me stay with her. asks me out on a date (that i didn't know was a date until she kissed me)??)#and ahhhhh. i can't tell if it's still me coming down from it or if i genuinely feel Legitimately Unsafe or just. ableism-linked discomfort#like. i don't think she'd hurt me. maybe. but i also know that she will not examine why she has isolated and harmed two of her friends.#but this has also completely put into doubt the idea of her *not* causing harm? so i don't know anymore#she also said that one of the most harmful recent representations of my disorder was ''humanising'' :///#(which was immediately preceded by her calling it infantilising. :) )#and then did not listen when it was called out as Active Harm#and then! tried to compare it to a fucking kids film from thirty years ago! about capacity for influence!#and it's just. i'm so fucking tired of trying to correct her#because i am aware that i have a little more influence over her opinions because she has said that she wants me to think well of her#and i have witnessed it with her backtracking hard on things i've criticised even if she's just been supporting whatever was there#and like. i don't want to talk to her anymore. that's a solid thing. i just don't. but i don't want to not explain why?#because that doesn't allow capacity for change and growth and i don't think it's productive#for me at least? i'd prefer for her to know why#but also. she's a significant presence in our social circle and her brother is too#and i don't want to isolate him because he's great and i love him#but. how do you deal with that???#i don't even know.#i keep circling around it.
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Can someone. Explain to me. What's going on with high cloud quintet lore??? People said there's retcon?? Im confusion??
#[borealis.txt]#hsr#high cloud quintet#hcq#first of all 1) whats going on with yingxing and dan feng?#2) whats going on with blade and dan heng?#3) so ur telling me that dan feng tried to resurrect baiheng and yingxin; who clearly hates the abundance; helped him#and then was mad at dan feng bc it backfired and made him hard to kill. WHAT#like. how do we even get there. yongxong hates the abundance yet helped dan feng in that and now mad at him for it????#i thought its bc yingxing was short lived and when he was dying/grievously injured#dan feng tried to make him live longer using abundance; thus bringing us to blade hating dan feng for turning him#into what he hates the most; an abundance monster.#thats the most logical one to follow????#like im not questioning them wanting baiheng back. friends do crazy shits too when grieving. BUT I ?????#to me its like this:#baiheng died -> jingliu went mara struck bc she lost her wife -> yingxing is dying -> dan feng tried to make yx live longer -> blade.#thats what its like to me#idk man I've finished the main and companion missions. i still don't understand how?? why blade is mad if its bc of ressurecting baiheng.#im confused im truly am. please help me.#fuckin. typo. im sorry yingxing.
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I have such a neat idea for a mother's day cake I just hope I can pull it off 😵💫
#I've never done filling between cake layers before but I want to master it so bad that I just said fuck it!#and got everything to do it with my grocery order today cause 1) it wasn't pricey at all and#2) it truly isn't hard to MAKE the fruit filling at all#I've just never tried doing a layered cake with the fruit filling#I really hope my buttercream is stable enough to keep it all contained ughhhhhhhh#it's gonna be ok! It's trial and error! and I'll never get any good at it all if I don't try!#my dear dear friend years ago used to make these AMAZING cakes with fruit filling in the middle and I would help her out sometimes#she taught me SO MUCH abt baking I loved her so much I was so lucky I became friends with her despite our like 20+ year age gap lol#but I've never attempted it on my own so.... now I'm going to#🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞 I can pull this off tho cause it's uhhhhhh shark week this week and I'm already very tired and insomnia ridden already#I just really hope I can try this omg
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I was born with a mask
Or I might as well have been
I didn't even know what my own face looked like
As the years went on
I added to it
Layers upon layers caked onto my face
A protective shell
But you were by my side when there were cracks in it
You loved me when the mask was still new and didn't cover much
You were with me for so long, through so much
I thought
That after the long and arduous process
Of hammering at this ceramic
To chip away the layers
And let my face feel the sun
You would rejoice as I did at seeing my face
But instead I have to wonder if you ever loved me in the first place
And chip you off of my heart
#some disjointed thoughts about unmasking autism#and losing friends I've had since childhood#or really...#having to come to terms with the fact that they aren't being good friends to me#that they got weird about me stimming in public#just flapping my arms excitedly#that they got mad at me for not staying for an additional activity due to sensory overwhelm#that when i first told them i was autistic and tried to lighten the mood#one of them said its not appropriate to joke about mental illness and shut me down from discussing it#trying to get me to skip a night of my meds so i could drink with them#becoming really aloof with me when i went semi verbal#messaging my mom behind my back to tell her i needed more therapy because i set boundaries about what i could handle and that was rude#the more confident and happy with myself I've become#the less they've liked me#and its hard to let go of friends youve had for so long#especially when those friends were among the only ones you had for a long time when you felt like you couldnt make friends#but maybe it was the fact that i struggled so much to make friends that my standards were kind of low#this kinda just hit me cause i was thinking about my birthday party#and i realized i didnt want them to be there#because they keep making me feel bad#they accepted me when i was The Weird Kid#but they cant accept me as an autistic adult#and they don't have to#just like i don't have to keep putting up with it
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Not sure if it's okay to send you this ask but I actually feel the same way you do about the end of vol 3 and I've been feeling pretty alone about it. I haven't said much because I don't want to seem like I'm being mean about the movie. I think my issue is the team hasn't spent years and years together. Most of them were snapped for 5 years. When they came back Gamora was dead and then Peter was clearly left suffering and dealing with the trauma for a while. I can live with the idea of "we've all grown to need time apart and want to do our own things" but I don't think the build up and execution was there. Not just for those on the team but also 2014 Gamora who was literally just coming back to the story and finally getting to see who these people were and what her life was once about. Then it's over and it doesn't feel like enough of a resolution. I also don't love how Gamora was treated which is a whole other topic but I disliked how it seems like there hasn't been any issue with her death for anyone but Peter. There doesn't even seem to be any memories of her lingering with the team. I have so many thoughts around this that I'll be thinking about it for a while but man, she was murdered by her abuser and most of her family are victims of abuse and I dont think the aftermath has been handled very well at all. Mostly I think there needed to be another movie In between Endgame and vol 3 to hash out what happened in Infinity War/Endgame and to progress some of the characters more and build up to the more Rocket focused ending where they all part ways. Or vol 3 needed to not be quite as focused on Rocket. Not saying he shouldn't have the most focus, just scale it back a little because other things desperately needed attention.
Oh it's absolutely fine to send an ask about this!!! I'm always up for a discussion, and honestly, it makes me feel better that I'm not the only person not completely happy with the ending, solidarity my friend.
I want to preface this all with I DON'T hate the film, and I thought it was way better on a 2nd viewing, but I really don't think it's a crime to criticize it because nothing is perfect (Vol. 1 + 2 aren't either) But Vol. 3 really has some deeply ingrained issues that should've been dealt with, or at the very least acknowledged, because as it is they really stand out, especially on a second viewing or if you've marathoned all the films together, and they literally drag the film down.
Gunn said on Twitter in response to something that he wanted Vol. 3 to be able to stand on its own without the viewer needing to have seen the other films (and by extension IW+EG) but that is so unhinged when it's literally titled as the third in the series at this point lol. Like it's extremely weird to have let IW+EG affect the Guardians as much as they did and then not even try and deal with the aftermath of it all in the last film featuring (almost) everyone together... ???
He's made it clear Rocket is his favorite and that he only came back to do Vol. 3 because he wanted to finish his story, I don't doubt that's true even if I think having a single character be more important than the others is the wrong choice and leaves the whole story as a trilogy a bit lopsided. But even so, if that's the case then it's crazy to not even have Rocket's thoughts on all of these things that've happened in the last decade as if it wouldn't be traumatic to lose your loved ones for years, and how hard it would be to readjust to life after it all. I kind of can't see him letting everyone leave so easily at the very end, especially after he almost died, so I'm just left feeling confused at the choice at best and vaguely unsatisfied at worst.
Maybe Gunn didn't have as much control over their appearances in IW+EG as he says he did. Maybe they really did completely derail the road to Vol. 3 and he just won't admit it, but the film as it is doesn't help in any way by pretending nothing there happened at all. I don't see any logical reason for the audience to just go along with "For some reason Gamora left, she might've died but also maybe not, who knows. Peter is sad and the rest of the team want to move onto something else. " and then the only hint at that last part is... Mantis telling Peter to go see his grandpa, so that leads to everyone else having a change in goals too, huh. I know it's not meant to be forever, and we're to assume everyone keeps in contact with each other, but the ending really makes it feel like no, we'll never all be together again, so bah.
And concerning Gamora, I agree with what you've said. I could write an entire book with my issues of her overall treatment in the narrative and the implications of her character from the comics getting adapted like this, but I'll spare you the speech and just say the TLDR is everything starting from IW onwards concerning her (the specific framing around her murder and then time travel bringing in 2014-Gamora, and the complete lack of acknowledgement about either version of her from the rest of the team) never should've happened. It's all such a mind-boggling choice, I can't get over how much of an afterthought Gunn made her at the very last minute.
It's funny you mention the need for another film to deal with the emotional fallout of everything post-Vol. 2, because absolutely, but they kind of had the chance??? I realize the Holiday Special isn't film length and is meant to be the calm before the storm of everything that's to come, but in a post-Vol. 3 world I can't stop thinking about how it was SUCH a missed opportunity to not have that be the sobering moment for the characters to talk about everything that happened in the years everyone was snapped. It could've even been the perfect time to plant the metaphorical plot seeds of everyone wanting to go and do their own things after what happened because they just can't make life feel the exact same as it was before, and understanding things can never be the same after something like that.
Even the last lines of the song used in the Holiday Special feels more appropriate for the Guardians as a family struggling to keep it all together (and trying to deal with the sudden loss of Gamora) than it relates to Peter and Yondu, in my opinion.
I would have preferred a more out-there story in general, something to give everyone equal stakes in the plot, but I do think Vol. 3 could have stayed overall the same if any of this was addressed or even mentioned in one or two lines of dialogue somewhere. Because as it is, it really feels like we missed something important between it all, but we didn't from what we we've been shown. I don't think it would have killed Gunn to include a quick moment where someone just says to Peter "I miss her too and I get everything's been way harder lately, but you can't let it grind your life to a complete halt like this." or something!! ANYTHING!!!
And if we absolutely had to stick with the time displaced Gamora plot... When she was snooping around on the Bowie by herself i dont get why she didn't get to see some old photos or something of the team during happier times (including 2018-Gamora specifically) and realizing that they really are going so far to save Rocket because they genuinely love him, and once upon a time they loved her too. 2014-Gamora getting to see the life she very nearly COULD have had within mere hours in her own timeline (without the threat of Thanos ever taking that away, mind you) but having to come to terms with the life she's made with the Ravagers in the present day. That would've been a more appropriate arc for her, I think, then her presence in the story wouldn't have had to only center around what Peter lost and nothing else and we'd at least get the idea that the others still had her on their minds even if they outwardly "moved on."
But also? Another missed opportunity to not have a moment when 2014-Gamora is in a battle with the other Ravager leaders mirroring the hallway scene with the Guardians that could have been when Peter (and the audience) "get" who she's currently more comfortable with in a basic sense, but... you know... it is what it is or whatever.
#guardians of the galaxy spoilers#vol 3 spoilers#gotg spoilers#lex thoughts#gotg thoughts#universe: mcu#ask tag#anon#i hope my ramblings make sense I've tried to coherently put my thoughts on the movie together for a while now#i wouldn't say im fully over it and i dont think i ever will be but im coming to terms with it or whatever#from how i speak about it youd think id hate the film I DONT!!! It's got really good things in it but i just cannot overlook the things-#-that bother me about it. genuinely i find the stuff with gamora straight up upsetting in a way that's hard to put into words#and i had expected better for her at the end but. you know.#i just care about the whole team in general 😔 i would like to say it was perfect like most everyone else but i cant#and i understand we have the benefit of having had all this time to expect more from vol 3 and gunn did not when writing it#but idk the only thing that feels like gunn had set in stone from the start is everything with rocket up to right before the team breaks up#if you asked me in 2017 that this is where it was going i also wouldve said what???#vol 3 wants to so badly be “let's meet in the year 2000 won't it be strange when we're all fully grown” but it's more-#-like a friend (by pulp) :'/
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*writes a song about how poorly she was treated by a much older guy, releases an extended version and MV for it to really show she wished she had known better but accepted that she was still a child and it wasn't her fault*
*turns around and literally dates a child, and puts him in the same position she had been in not even two ears earlier*
#this is all i'll say because i have friends that love her and i dont want to be disrespectful towards them#like if you love her music thats great#ive never been a fan of hers ever like she came out in 2006 right? I didn't like her music then and i still dont like it#there have been occassions where I've found a couple of her songs to be bops#she did a cover of a brooks and dunn song that i really liked#HOWEVER#harry had been 17 in a relationship with a 31 year old woman and no one tried to stop it#then he's 18 with a 23 year old woman which i guess is better#but still...that girl was a child#and idk how you as the adult in the situation who wrote about how hard it was being so young in a previous relationship#and then get mad when youre the older one and the younger one is less mature#like did you think he was going to ride off into the sunset with you???
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Sometimes I think I'm fine and life is going well but then I see someone and for the next day or 2 I forget how to breathe until my heart sits back in my chest nicely again after I thoroughly distract myself
#my head hurts and my arms keep shaking and i feel sick to my stomach#i know it's just hormones and chemical imbalance#i know i will be fine#but good god#please let it pass sooner#i wish i never fell in love it has done nothing but make my life worse. i try so hard to not think about it. but sometimes it hits me.#do you think you were good to me? does it not make you feel guilty when you think about how you treated me?#i wish i had the guts my friends do where they tell it straight up what's wrong with the other person and hate them and leave#but i just. keep apologizing for things that didn't happen. and suffer in silence and let it slowly kill me. because I'd rather die than get#ugh. i just need to stop getting triggered.#if it happens one too many times more i think im going to go crazy and do some stuff I'll regret#i've always known that i can have a side of me get really 偏执 and I've always tried really hard to not. go there.#as they say. the more you love the more you hate. and the girl i was in love with at the time said she didn't want me to hate her. so.#I've been trying really hard to carry out that will#ugh idk it's all. kinda fucked. would someone say my lifestyle now is much healthier? probably. but i was happy. but i felt safe.#it's “healthy” now i have jobs i have more friends and people i talk to i have things im doing but if i get paralyzed for hours triggered#then. what then.#this wasn't the life i wanted either even though everything else seems good and healthy.#delete later
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🌸🌷🌿
#umm honestly it might not even be the one i think it is...#in which case i feel bad#im just paranoid.. but so far 9/10 everyone has turned nasty towards me#so it is hard for me to ever believe anyone wouldnt do that#but yeah i just keep thinking it is her bc she's the only one...#but i know someone else i barely even talked to who got some weird thing against me#bc she tried 'being nice' and when it didnt cure me and i couldnt reply fast#she did an 180 and i was like so confused bc girl we barely even know eo or have ever talked c'mon..#anyway thats the problem w ppl not taking it directly. you dont ever know#so i've realized the best thing is to just not care.#it's just so hard not to when everywhere in your life keeps treating u bad#and all u want is love and comfort and support from just one person#but still it doesnt matter really. i dont care. and i dont even have a community online lmao#i dont even talk to pretty much anyone#so it really does not matter.... sigh#if i just had a real life and a job and a partner and friends i would not give a fuck abt any online bs 😭
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