#i want to be able to not think about special interests that have big issues like made in abyss but i just cant. i just try not to draw them

[sambot2000xp]

THE THREAD I HAVE BEEN PROCRASTINATING ON FOR A WHILE!!!

murderface’s autistic traits

because i see a lot of people talking about toki, skwisgaar, and nate’s autistic traits but never murderface.,,,

under the cut

one of the more obvious traits is his interest in war history and macabre things, which definitely seems like a special interest. it takes up his WHOLE ROOM, and the only time we see him taking a vacation is for a war reinactment. it is basically the only thing we see him have any interest in outside of dethklok and other music endeavors (which he does not seem to be that interested in even) he is genuinely PASSIONATE for history.

his gullibility is definitely overplayed for jokes but to me it reads as an extremely obvious autistic trait. for example , the firecracker scene. that scene just screams autistic to me. the way he just never realizes that he should STOP trusting them and keeps on bending down? yeah.

one of the less obvious things that I notice is his pickiness with foods. also a joke and definitely tied to extreme internalized homophobia, but it just seems like something that most neurotypical people would not go to the lengths to defend. yes I know that he does eat a hot dog in doublebookedklok but who says autism people cannot be hypocrites, I know I am lol. also just a headcanon of mine that he is sensitive to foods and sticks to foods he is comfortable with + knows well, seems to be pretty canon compliant too.

something i notice is how he does seem to understand some social norms, but not fully. and even the ones he does understand, he does not care to follow. for me as an autistic person that is something I heavily relate to. It is hard to follow the social norms you do understand when you have no reason to, and you have never had them explained to you. murderface was just treated as a problem kid his entire life so of course he just sticks with it instead of trying to work on his attitude.

kind of reaching but autistic people are more likely to experience depression and other mental illnesses, something that murderface definitely deals with. he also shows symptoms in less typical was, tied in with his anger issues. i think his anger issues could also be compared to how he was never taught to deal with his emotions, and also combine with autistic meltdowns of the sort. basically all of his issues just are worsened by his autistic traits.

SPELLING!!! i know this is just something that shows he is uneducated, which makes sense as he (in the shoe, NOT the comics) grew up in the south (probably in poverty) and never cared for school, but it also could have been heightened by his trouble learning new concepts. he very easily could have been pushed away by the fact that no one understood how to be patient with him and teach him in a way he understood, an experience lots of autistic people face.

the way murderface talks to people, he rarely knows how to act when he is not complaining or insulting people, which definitely ties into the lack of social skills. he also seems to not be able to tell when people are joking, or read emotional subtleties.

with how he tries to be a “gentleman” around ladies, it definitely shows how he does not know how to act outside of stereotypes and what he has been taught, almost like he is following a script.

HYGIENE. a big thing for autistic people. i know some people who are extreme near freaks and very very cautious with hygiene, as for me and others,,, not caring at all. i think it is obvious murderface falls into the second category, he does not CARE about hygiene and frankly, does not want to. we seen him showering in one scene so I think he is capable of doing self-care oriented things, but maybe it is hard for him to start, or he is uncomfortable with it in most occasions.

headcanons

ahem ahem,,, we never see him in any shoes with shoelaces so I like to headcanon that he either never learned how to tie his shoes, or if he did, he is very bad at it and it takes him a while, so he is embarrassed to tie his shoes in front of anyone.

i also like to think he makes a lot of references to old TV shows (see my murderface agere post) and got a lot of his ideas of what “masculinity” is from those. i assume he shaped his worldview around fiction and what he learned from history, which resulted in a really warped perspective.

that is all for now!! i will probably add onto this later!! ^_^ byebye!

[smrtnik07]

[loveemagicpeace]

🍹The difference between the Sun and Rising Sign✨

Leo Sun will always be more expressive and have more ego than Leo rising. Because sun is the ruler of leo and someone who has leo sun will always be able to express pride, self-respect, ego, attentiveness and know how to show attention, no matter what. These people will always stand up for themselves. They know how to be closer to sun energy. They are also more childlike and always have an inner child with them. They will always support the people they love. They are also inherently more fixers in decisions and things. But they are also very dramatic and when there is drama they will be the first ones there. They know how to make a big drama without feeling bad about it. Leos have a way of making others feel beautiful and special, which is why they tend to be social butterflies. Their charisma feels authentic. Since Leo is a fixed sign, they tend to hew closely to their foundation — whether those are family bonds or values. It can take them a hot minute to change their minds. Always honest, this sign won’t want to back down from a stance once it's been taken.

Leo Rising, however, can sometimes get lost in wanting to serve others or be available to them. They often don't know how to show pride and be sure of themselves. Many people with this position have self-esteem issues. They don't like that much drama and they don't like to be in the spotlight. They will be subjected to many more romantic affairs in life. They are acutely aware of others, and how they come across. Usually, they choose clothing and hairstyles that are youthful. They often possess regal, well-defined features, and a captivating presence. when faced with life challenges or crises, Leo risings maintain a sunny disposition and won’t let it show publicly. They are much more private people than leo suns.

Capricorn Sun will not glow as brightly and will not have such a capricorn characteristics as capricorn rising. Capricorns Sun are more practical and organized and can be more or less driven to work. Sometimes they are more prone to think that life is cruel. At the same time, they will often forget about the fun. It is difficult for these people to find fun and inner child. They think much more about their career and are more obsessed with being able to have a certain title or become something.

Capricorn Rising come off with strength and power. They emit a very strong energy just by entering the room. They achieve what they set out to do because the 1st house is the house of Mars and it is comfortable here for Capricorn. They never give up until they achieve what they want. They respect themselves -they have huge respect for themselves and will never lower their standards for the sake of other people. They always stay on the surface here where they are. They confidently show people who they are and what their limits are. They have no mercy and once you hurt them they won't let you back. They also set a lot of rules for themselves which can be sometimes hard for them but this is mostly cuz of saturn. Another thing with them is that they always receive good karma.

Libra Sun shows more of their side of enjoying relationships, but they are not so subject to having a partner and they are not necessarily so romantic either. However, their beauty is always beautifully expressed. And that they will be popular in society and among people, and that people will always find them attractive, and many times they will easily gain people's attention. Since the sun gives visibility and fame, they can have many fans and admirers. They have a bigger ego in the relationship and give what they have received.

Libra Rising, however, are much more prone to looking for a relationship and not wanting to be alone. And they are often more interested in fashion and clothes. Many of them work with fashion or clothing. They also have a greater passion for clothing and style. I would say that this is also the only placement that is really more subject to the fact that a person is really passionate when it comes to clothes and they will work with clothes at least once in their life. There are also people who flirt a lot and are always friendly. They care much more about how they look and how they look when they go somewhere. They will almost never look messy. And they can have problems with their appearance (looking for faults in themselves). Also could be more dreamy or delusional.

Scorpio Sun is private, secretive and really brings out that side of his dark nature. They won't trust people right away and will always be suspicious of new things (always check if things are really as they seem). They have a need for control and not to share their sex life with others. I notice that they never talk about it very openly. But they are open about it with their partner. They don't like too much scary stuff and darkness. But they can be extremely private, even secretive, about subjects they consider near and dear to their hearts and being intensely sexual. Scorpios are driven but locked into their belief systems. On the flip side, you’ll never know anyone more devoted, reliable, faithful and generous when you’re welcomed into their hearts. Scorpios know what they want, and that also applies to love and relationships. Expect the Scorpio to pursue their lover endlessly and intensely, chasing the one they desire to the ends of the earth.

Scorpio Rising is more open to sex and discussions about it. They are not embarrassed to talk about it and find the topic interesting. They like deep debates. They come forward much darker and sometimes as an emo type of people. They are not so quick to suspect and do not make immediate assumptions. But they are more vindictive and spend more time taking revenge on someone. They don't like to be rejected and they like to have power. They like people to notice their strength and energy. They expose themselves much more.

Aries Sun is more extroverted and fun. The more they show their ego outwardly, the faster they will put their needs first and choose themselves over others. They are more sexually active and more spontaneous. They don't take risks so quickly and often think more about whether to do something or not. They don't like dangerous things so much, they prefer their comfort zone. But they will always express their needs regardless of how others will react to it. They may not be as committed in relationships.

Aries Rising, however, is more brave, daring and likes dangerous things. They will quickly embark on a dangerous adventure without a second thought. But they are more reserved when you get to know them, they will not immediately express their energy. Aries rising is confident, direct, enthusiastic, and impulsive. In a relationship, an Aries rising is passionate, romantic, and loyal. At work, an Aries rising is competent, hard-working, and successful. They can be more introverted and self-centered.

Taurus Sun is much more stubborn and persistent, especially when it comes to their comfort and entertainment. They live a more stable life and do not like to change things around them and are also more frugal. They will not waste money on unnecessary things. And they will always reconsider how much they will invest in something. They are also down to earth, loyal and generous. They'll put in effort as long as they can see the reward on the other side of the finish line. This gives them the motivation to keep going. Taurus values ​​consistency, stability, and kindness.

Taurus Rising are not so stubborn, they have their own limits and values, but usually they are not limited by stubbornness. They are more lenient and relaxed. They don't care so much about money and finances, but they are more interested in pleasure and fun. They like food, music, movies and also like to spend time alone. They don't spend as much on clothes and tend to be more casually dressed. They can also isolate themselves from people more quickly.

Gemini Suns are often more duplicitous and tend to be dominated by two sides. They know how to play things better and they can trick someone faster. They like intellectual things and are more prone to read and write a lot, and they are also more motivated for school. They like to compete in school and like to look smart in front of people.

Gemini Rising are more friendly and establish contact with people faster, they quickly start communication with others and are not so interested in what people think about them. But they have a very unbalanced nature, they often start something and don't finish it, and they often promise something and maybe don't keep their promise. They can also be more rebellious at school and often don't pay much attention to school. Many of them decide to finish school late.

Virgo Sun is more practical, in most cases more judgmental. They often spend their free time cleaning and love cleanliness. They don't like to waste time on crazy things, and they also know how to focus on work more than on other people. When looking for a partner, they can be very picky and want it to fit their lifestyle. They often give more harsh advice. Virgo fosters a sense of contentment when you have planned your days in a detailed way, and the absence will make you start nagging and complaining.

Virgo Rising, however, are much more moody and their mood often changes. Their insecure side is more noticeable and they care more about what people think of them. They can change partners quickly if they are not really in love with them. They act more inaccessible and often angry. They have a strong sense of duty and are highly reliable and responsible. Virgo risings are known for their organized appearance, even if their home or life might be a hot mess behind closed doors.

Cancer Sun is less emotional and more independent. They show their emotions more openly and have no problem with appearing weak. Vbisvtu want people to know how they feel and will somehow always look for emotional attention and sometimes drama. After all, the sun is a dramatic and hot planet and cancer is emotional and sensitive. Although people who have this position are not so sensitive. Cancers are also protective of their loved ones. They have the ability to observe and see life from a different viewpoint than others, due to their sideways march. However, their intuition is not always so good. And although I would expect this from Cancers, Cancers Sun are not so focused on family and family life. But they usually have a friendly relationship with their mother.

Cancer Rising they are much more sensitive, you can quickly get on their nerves and you can hurt them very quickly. They take many things to heart. They often come across more moody and not so approachable, although they can be quite extroverted, regardless of the circumstances, they can quickly fit into society. Many people find comfort with them and many strangers open up to them quickly. But they can be very focused on their needs, which means that they can be very complex and demanding partners. They want their partner to meet their needs. They are usually attracted to people who are caring, motherly/fatherly type of people. And they like people who have a focus on family. They themselves are more focused on the family.

Sagittarius Sun is focused on the inspirational side of life. They will always look for the positive in life and want to experience the best out of it. They can be good mentors to other people. These natives understand the difference between living and existing. They are freedom-loving individuals with a love for the outdoors. Often times, these natives are fond of a sport or two. Their physique also contributes to the royal radiance that their personality has. They are of a supportive nature, like to lend a helping hand to their relatives and friends.

Sagittarius Rising is more prone to impulsiveness and than strict opinions. They often have dark humor and are especially humorous people, you can always laugh with them. It is noticeable that they are more jealous and react to things faster. Sagittarius risings are honest, creative, and intellectual. They’re always seeking their next big adventure or learning new things. They are also good teachers. Very honest and direct people.

Aquarius Sun- their freedom is more pronounced and they want to live as freely as possible and have some space for themselves. They also find it harder to settle down and have problems finding the right person for themselves. They are unpredictable and you never know when they will make a new move and what it will look like. They are people who randomly appeared somewhere. They love their friends and give them a lot of attention. They are the ones who will think of their friends first, so the relationship would be better if it was friendly in the beginning. They are humanitarian and stand up much more for society and the people around them and also much more rebellious. They will be the first to rebel if something is not right for them. Aquarius is known to break free from conventions in favor of finding a lifestyle that makes sense for them.

Aquarius Rising is more lonely and withdrawn from society. Their energy often works better when they are alone. Their style is more expressed in terms of how different they are from the rest. They are more settled in a relationship and often more prone to looking for someone for themselves. They give more compliments. Aquarius risings are often seen as unconventional and may have a rebellious streak, always willing to push the boundaries of tradition and explore new ideas. Aquarius risings are known to be super intelligent and very quick. Aquarius risings seem like aliens walking among us. They immediately strike others as being sort of otherworldly—it just feels like they follow a different set of rules.

The Pisces sun in their eyes often radiates a warm and compassionate energy. They are dreamy people and more inclined to seek their way to the sun. Although they do not necessarily have to be spiritual, they are in most cases. They can be confused but more down to earth because they are not so inclined to Neptune. Pisces are known to wear their hearts on their sleeves when it comes to love and relationships. However, they find it difficult to open up to other people and many people find them misunderstood. But they are prone to daydreaming. Pisces are imaginative and creative lovers who blend fantasy with reality in the way they love. Pisces suns are more stable and stick to the ground, they won't just give in to addictions. And many times they come forward more seriously. They are not that naive and won't let people get too close to them that quickly. They look much more for energy and vibes in people.

Pisces Rising have a light aura and carry a pocket full of magic dust in their back pocket. These folks have lived a life that requires extensive thought, and often they face experiences that are more than meets the eye. They tend to become addicted much faster (drugs, alcohol or others). They can quickly become addicted to one thing. Their personality is more dreamy. Much sooner they will surrender to the flow of love, a person or a thing. They will react more quickly emotionally to their surroundings.

🎸For personal readings u can sign up here: https://snipfeed.co/bekylibra 🎸

-Rebekah🍓🍸🍀

[mooshs-crack-headcanons]

Hi if requests are still open could I ask for nsfw headcanons for Erwin, Levi and Hange? Thanks so much in advance 😊🩵

Yaaaaay, veteran trio sure thing :)

Disclaimer: I use they/them pronouns for Hanji and since this request is NSFW in nature also AFAB language/terms will also be used for them. And Levi’s portion goes into the expected heavy shit about his childhood and Underground. ...Erwin’s I just... idk. Wrote with my dick I guess 🧍🏻‍♂️

Gender neutral reader (no pronouns used) with AFAB or AMAB anatomy depending on reader's choice since both options are lightly given. Hope that makes sense.

NSFW contents under the cut 😉

Erwin Smith

Dear Reader, I want you to look me directly in the eyes and try to tell me this man doesn't have a big dick - trick question you can't. The man is big all over. But he's very polite about it, not one to brag but it does bring a warm smile to his face to see your eyes practically pop out of your head the first time you're down on your knees, crouched down in front of the chair to his desk, mouth already watering as you quickly undo his belt and unzip him to be able to pull him out - only to go eyes owl wide when it nearly smacks you in the face. It takes a lot from him not to chuckle out when your hand goes to hesitantly wrap around it - only for you to flinch back when it twitches hello in your grasp, he finds it very cute actually.

Hairy chest. That's all. Actually no - hairy everything. It's great.

He is loud very loud - Erwin’s a loud man in general, kind of has to be when he's been in a military superior position for good portion of his life. But it didn't come up from that, no, Erwin’s always been loud when it comes to 'entertaining' lovers - even since he younger, if Erwin Smith is having sex everyone will know it, does not help he's a screamer (Nile and Mike have always teased him about it) but he sees no shame in it - just proof his lover(s) made him feel good and wears it like a badge of honor. And don't think he's alone in this, he will make damn well sure you're just as satisfied until your lungs go sore.

But if you are embarrassed of having people give you awkward looks afterwards, the solution is actually very simple: gag him. It could be with anything really; your underwear, your fingers, your hands around his thick neck, your hole/cock, get really creative with it :) And if you want yourself to not be heard, just tell him I'm sure he can think of some naughty ideas too.

Erwin has... complicated issues with relationships, both being Commander and focusing on attaining his dream he'd rather not be tied down to a serious relationship, but he has no issue with a friends with benefits type situation - stress relief. God does he need stress relief. However, if you are in a serious relationship with him then it's clear you're obviously very special to him - which also complicates things. For one I see him refusing to date a civilian so you have to be in the Survey Corps and fully understand what that means, to fully understand the 'delicate your hearts' oath and fully know damn well either of you could die at any time each time you step outside the Walls. Plus Erwin has a lot - and I mean a lot of enemies, you being someone someone so dear and close to him makes you a number one target and he knows that, he struggles with that, however it's a good motivator in a way; keeps him more focused and on guard, it makes him more careful, it makes him gather more and more blackmail on certain people if needed. That being said, the sex between you and him if you're dating - or hell married - is full blown romantic.

Don't get me wrong, he'll still blow your back out if you ask, but most of the times when you both find the time to sink to each other's touch it's with this air of gentleness Erwin has honestly never experienced with another partner, even Marie. You're... something special to him. Maybe it's because unlike past romantic interests - both men and women - you actually understand what's going on inside his head, you get how important his dreams are, you get his guilt, you actually know the... unspeakable wonder (beside all the titan killing fellow comrades thing) of what it's like outside the Walls. Freedom.

His kisses are so gentle yet grounded, he makes sure to kiss every inch of your body while muttering all sorts of praise and adoration with his lips pressed up against your skin so you can feel his words.

His big, thick fingers work open your hole/pump around your cock with steady rhythm as he takes you on his bed. He loves feeling your hands spring up and encourage his actions by messing up his normally perfect stylized hair and turning it into a complete blonde mess.

Loves hearing you, your voice sounds like absolute heaven to him if there is one and your voice crying out his name over and over and over and over and over again as he makes you come with nothing but his fingers/hand never fails to briefly send him there each time.

When he's inside you he can't help but feel overwhelmed, you're so warm and tight hugging your walls around him and if you're smaller than him he will never fail to tell you how seeing his cock not even able to completely enter all the way inside without the tip of his cock already pressed to deep that his head is rubbing at the deepest part it can go without you completely breaking entirely. If you're around the same size or maybe even a little bigger, then it's still the same, it brings a wide stupid grin on his face to look back as he has your legs tossed back and you're on your back you taking his prick all the way up to his base, balls resting comfortably against your ass. He feels ecstasy when he can start fucking deep into you.

When I said loud, I mean loud-loud. And if you're more than just an occasional fuck? Double that by like - twenty. He will vocalize each and every single thing he's feeling and is on his mind as he pounds into you. The headboard? Is banging against the wall so loud that Cadets two floors down in the Mess Hall can hear it and could mistake it for Wall Rose getting breached. It's an absolute miracle that shit hasn't split in two yet and especially with how one of Erwin’s hands clutches down onto it to keep himself grounded as he fucks you, moaning and groaning your name and all sorts of curses so loud that Levi’s viciously kicking the wall down the hall in his own office just as loud to tell you two to shut the fuck up but neither of you can hear it as you're so fucking lost in one another.

Call him Commander in bed. Do it. That twenty will turn into a hundred so fucking fast, not as fast as Erwin rearranges you to turn around - front facing the bedroom door - and straddling his hips with your back to him and your arms are held behind your back as he roughly bounces you on his lap. Everyone in this damn building and outside it will know what you're doing.

I mentioned his hairy chest? Yeah, well that adds a nice friction on your back and his chest is so plump you can lay back in them almost like pillows. Meaty, hairy, pillows. It's nice. They jiggle underneath you btw.

When he comes it's like a geyser going off inside you - literally. He'll fill you so full and your ears will practically ring from how loud he'll scream unless you quickly muffle his mouth up with your own or something, if not... well, everyone already knows what you've been doing at this point. If not? They certainly do now. But you try not to think about it, watching the flood of come pouring out of your when his cock slips out and staining both your and his thighs and the bedsheets.

Erwin acts practically drunk in the afterglow, his words are slurred and he has this wide toothy smile on his face you can't help but to kiss. This is the true stress relief. Here, his thoughts are the furthest from everything; the Walls, the titans, the Government, the Crown, the maybe-possible-if-his-father's-right people living outside the Walls... his dream... all of it. This is one few times he can completely distract himself away from all of it. He isn't Erwin Smith, Commander of the Survey Corps and accidental murder of his father - he's just... Erwin. And he's with you, just you - not Squad Leader (Name) (Surname). Just you, (Name). Nothing outside this very room matters, just laying in each other's arms and taking in the glow of being with one another. Knowing damn well you'll have to remember and face it all once you leave here.

But it's fine. He wouldn't be with you nor you would him if you didn't know that, if you didn't want to fight back against everything that be - if you didn't want Erwin’s dream to come true. And everyday, bit by bit you make further strides for that dream, together. You’ll reclaim Wall Maria, capture outside the Walls, beat the titans, learn the truth of what's to know about them. And see that thing mentioned in one of Erwin’s forbidden hidden books his father left... what was it again? Oh yeah, the sea. The ocean.

You two will see that together. You promised one another. No matter what.

Levi Ackerman

Right off the bat it should be stated: Levi has a complicated relationship with sex - it should be obvious, given how he grew up. Where he grew up. What his mother did for a living, and... he very much grew up aware of what she did. It's not just sex either, relationships, dating as a whole he's... complicated with.

Two things: Levi doesn't do causal flings, he doesn't do causal relationships. If he's with you in the first place it's because he loves you. If he didn't he wouldn't be with you and it's that simple, he's doesn't vocalize it much - he has... issues with words, serious, emotion-y words - but if you're with him at all romantically in the first place you already know him fluently enough to understand that. He doesn't have to say "I love you," very often - you already know he does, and when he actually does voice it, it's always at the absolute most vulnerable positions he can be to show you how much he genuinely means it.

Trust is important to him. Very important. He loves you, he wouldn't be with you if he didn't as we already established that. Sex? Completely different ball park. If he wants to he sexually active with you it is beyond trust with him. It's beyond just trusting his own life in your hands, it's beyond letting you handle his old knives, it's beyond trusting you enough to tell you horror stories of how he grew up, it's beyond telling you just how close Farlan and Isabel were to him that they were practically siblings to him, it's beyond telling you about Kenny and how for the longest time and still sometimes that it fucks him up to think... he knew his mother - doesn't know how, the bastard always refused to ever tell him, and then just one day for no fucking reason just... walked out. Walked out without a word or anything. Left him to barely survive down there on his own until Farlan and Isabel. How for years... he was convinced the bastard might be his father. Because what else could he be? Visiting and knowing his dead mother by name - her actual name - and picking Levi up and saving him when he was on the brink of starvation, if Kenny hadn't arrived when he did then... he might've very well been dead by the next day. It's just... or it was hard to think up any other possible explanation but this MP killing bastard being his dad. But now, he isn't sure - nowadays doesn't really care to find out, hell the bastard could be rotting in a ditch for all he cares. He's never told another soul that - just you. Between you and him there's something deeper than trust.

Now, I know a lot of other headcanons tend to make Levi out to be this super dom sexy sex sex man or whatever, but no. He has no fucking experience whatsoever, until he made this connection with you he absolutely refused to - always thinking about that sunk look in his mother's eyes after dealt with clients and how she'd fake the warmth in them to hide the hurt when Levi would be let back in the room by one of her lady 'work friends' and she'd talk to him so lovingly and sweetly... until she got another knock on the door and he'd have to leave again. That sunken look in her eyes immediately returning and even as a kid he'd want to attack the bastards he knew was the cause of her hurt. And that's how he seen sex for the longest time, didn't fucking help with all the degenerates pigs Underground. He can count on both hands and toes and it still not be enough how how many fucking pigs he's had to gut for staring at Isabel the wrong gross way - a child. Still makes him sick. All these years later. So he's stayed away from it. Fought against it, even up against the absolute worst the Underground had to offer.

However, the longest he'd had bad associations with it, but... with you it's different. You're different, different than a lot of people and that's because of the beyond trust thing. He can be different around you - not the smartass, foul mouthed, titan killing machine people know him as now, he can be... vulnerable, alone with you - and he wants to be. He really does, he loves you afterall and... he wants to give himself to you, completely, because that's how special you are but...

It's stupid, he tells himself - he's a grown man, he's in his late twenties right now, acting and beating himself up in such a childish way over a natural thing. What's wrong with him? But it's you to calm him down, telling him you don't have to do anything and that you're content just the way things are between the two of you now. That you didn't need to go further - ever if he wished, that you love him no matter what. But the thing is... he wants to. There's just this - this mental block he can't seem to get across, no matter how hard he tried. Humanity's strongest? Or whatever it is they're calling him now? Scared of what? He scolds himself. Losing his virginity? The two of you share a bed together to sleep in - this shouldn't - shouldn't - shit. But... you look at him. The two of you sit together on the bed and you look up/down/straight forward at him (depending on your height) and he just... feels at ease, he remembers why he loves and beyond trusts you in the first place, that everything's fine, everything will be fine as he puts a hand to your cheek, rubbing his thumb over your bottom lip as he gives a steady nod and melts his lips with yours.

That being all said, yeah, Levi’s a virgin. He doesn't really have all that much idea of what he's doing, just goes by his gut and will rely on you to actively tell him what to do, what you want, and how you want it. But Levi - being the prodigy in every new skill he learns, doesn't take long for things to start clicking together in place. Half in hour and your virgin lover you'd think was actually a sex deity in human form - things just... click for him in that odd way it does for him learning new things (weird fucking Ackerman genes in work in real time, actually)

Insane head-game. Think he mouth I'd just good for crass insults and shit jokes? Nope, but honestly that should be expected. After the first few experimental pokes and licks around, enough to get a good idea of how to get you going, will his mouth latch onto and kiss, bite, and suck around the opening to your wet hole then stuck fucking his tongue deep inside and thrusting in all the sweet places/or mark fondle your balls with his mouth before working up your shaft kissing your head before absolutely deepthroating and going to town on you - no gag reflex, shocker. He loves the way you taste and can go on and on and make you come again, and again, and again, and again repeatedly until you loose your mind or voice. Or both.

Want to play with his insecurities? Not maliciously of course, but in universe I think Levi’s thought of as """"""""ugly"""""" and if that's the case you can imagine what types of disgusting shit people has called/said to him. He doesn't mind or care, especially these days as he's older but... call him handsome, or gorgeous and Levi’s a really pale guy, even if he's been above ground a couple years he's still wasn't born a 'sun-walker' so when he blushes it practically dyes his entire face and goes all the way up to his ears. It's cute. Even more cute when he growls, frowns, and scowls as he tries to hide it and distract you by suddenly entering you - which breaks the facade almost immediately as he goes wide eyed and nearly out of breath as he feels you around him. You overwhelm him, he burries himself in your neck not to let himself bottom out. His chest rocks with each breath and he's quick to litter your neck and collar in bites.

Hope you like it here, virgin or not with that Ackerman stamina you're going to be here awhile as he absolutely rocks your world. For hours and hours on end until the both of you are drenched in sweat and the wall has a crack in it from the bed moving.

Very quiet - nearly silent actually except for the occasional gritted curse and heavy breathing. But the longer you go on the more comfortable he actually gets making noise; moans, grunts, and punched out intakes of your name.

He'll fuck you until your legs go numb, wrapped around his hips and encouraging every thrust he gives you and you'll come over and over until you're light headed, bit with him there seems to be no end in sight as he onyx colored hair swoops down and dances with each and every single one of his movements as he looks down almost dazed at you.

Tell him out loud you love him and he'll come on spot.

Silvery grays practically roll back inside of his head when he hits his release and he'll be louder than anything he's been all night before finally his body gives out and collapses on top of you. Wide pleased smile on his face that's for no one inside these entire damn Walls or below ground to see - accept for you. It's only for you. This all is only for you.

After falling unconscious for about forty seconds Levi wakes back up with his normal expected demeanor, this time he just lies there in your arms and presses himself lazily in your neck. When he speaks it's slightly muffled, but it's fine. You ask him if he had a good time - which he tells you is a stupid question and should be obvious, getting a light laugh out of you as you go to comb through his sweaty hair.

He makes it very clear later that this isn't a regular thing, a once maybe a month type thing until... he gets a better understanding with it. "Shit takes time, you know." And you agree, telling him to take all the time he needs which he just lies there for another lingering moments before pushing himself up and pushing his lips to your own.

A bath sounds good now.

Hanji Zoë

Doesn't really have that much experience, WAY too invested in their work to really have had the time. But! That doesn't mean they're not ready and willing to learn - very opposite in fact, honestly. They are absolutely over the MOON when you come out and say you want to fuck them! They get so excited that they rush off into whatever direction of the nearest library to learn and come up with ideas of what to do with you that they sort of leave you there behind in dust 😅 but not to worry, Moblit's there (somewhat very embarrassed to walk in on this exchange) but he promises you that your Squad Leader means well they're just... you know, eccentric.

Books on sexuality and other ""taboo"" stuff of that nature are looked down upon in the higher society of the Walls, but they're not that hard to find if you know where to look, and luckily Hanji knows where a bunch of them are - in fact they know a lot of libraries have them in a 'secret' section - but pulling a few strings and hinting at knowing about a married librarian's affair with a nurse down the street Hanji is able to gather a bunch of books to bring back to Headquarters! They spend all next and the next few days looking over them, reading them cover to cover - only having to explain to Nanaba once who came to visit their office and curiously had picked up one, only to immediately set it back down when seeing the one of the crude sexual diagrams drawn inside before immediately excusing herself.

So, with all this learning and newly attained precious knowledge and a bit of self discovery, turns out Hanji Zoë is a kinky mother fucker. They excitedly jot down all sorts of things that catch their interest, said list turns several pages long that when shown and told about your eyes nearly bug out of your head. Your face turns scorched hot as you tell your lover that maybe best for now just to... narrow it down to three things, then the both of you could talk and work up to it.

And that's where it stays for a couple of weeks, nothing really happens and things go on as normal, until one day when you're at the Superiors table in the Mess Hall as Erwin draws on and on about Banquet plans - AKA 'entertaining' and kissing ass to the nobles and the Brass to beg for funding for the next expedition outside Wall Maria - to you, Levi, Nanaba, and Mike, until suddenly Hanji comes springing down the hall and grabs your arm and pulls you completely off the bench seat to where you fall on your ass.

"Sorry-important-titan-research-matters-need-to-borrow-(Name)-bye!" And they drag you off, your ass still on the floor. Leaving everyone else at that table speechless.

You're about to scold your lover the moment you get inside the door, now at your feet, and your just about to until Hanji pushes you back against the wood in a feverish kiss that leaves you breathless. When they pull away they have a wide shit eating grin on their face. Okay. You're much calmer now. You let yourself be dragged across the small office and shoved onto the bed tucked in the corner - Hanji gives you a wink and excitedly goes for a couple boxes at their desk, handing them to you for you to open.

Rope. A... harness looking thing that looks like... underwear? With an odd hoop in the middle. And... a large phallic shaped object that makes your eyes go shot wide. Okay, you tell yourself. This must be their three.

"Two actually," They correct you without you even having to say it out loud. "-this is three." Without much effort they start pulling off their uniform to reveal the pretty white laced lingerie they have on that makes you go entirely speechless. They push their glasses up further on their nose with a head tilt. "You like?" You nod without even feeling yourself do so. "Good." You... didn't know to whether be scared or aroused at that glint in their eyes.

You're naked and tied up from post to post with the red velvety rope as your lover straddles you and map out every part of your body with their hands, committing each bump, scar, and curve to memory. Hanji looks at you with this inquisitive look in their eyes - the same look they get during one of their experiments but yet, it's almost different than that, or is it? They touch you and look back up to your face for a reaction, they like watching you squirm but not be able to do anything with your limbs tied and can only whimper and moan for them, they like that very much actually. You can't touch them either, as they straddle you your hips do buck into them - getting a gasp out of them but with their hands suddenly around your neck they scold you with a pointed wagging finger. "Bad, naughty."

Their hips starts grounding into you as they begin touching themselves with only you helpless to watch their hand disappear down lace panties and start working themselves over, making sure to make plenty of noises you can hear until suddenly their slick hand is shoved into your mouth and you're ordered to suck, which you do until they're roughly yanked out be replaced but their breathless kiss instead - tasting their own arousal off you. Then they get an idea.

With a wide smile off their face do they maneuver around the bed to where they're above you and moves the panties aside for you to eat at them as they sit on your face. They hum and moan out all sorts of praises as they let you know how good of a job your doing eating out their pussy like it was your last meal, and since Hanji wants to be the dominant party here, they're not afraid to order you around a bit - reminding you that they are your Squad Leader and you should address them as so. So get ready to add "Yes, Squad Leader," to each and every you say tonight :)

For being so good, they give you a reward: while you continue to eat them out, they'll bend slightly over, spread you legs slightly apart to comfortly position themselves to eat out your hole/or gag around your cock, all nice and good for their beloved favorite squad member until you both come at least a couple times each, and if you're to type to get overstimulated, they'll reassure how well you're doing and tell you in the softest voice they can: "One more, just one more." until you come again.

Once you're done with that and Hanji wobbles off the bed, legs shaking, as they go to gather the harness and dick shaped object off the floor. They slip off the lingerie panties and stuff them in your mouth with a; "Hold these, please." As your lover then boucy legs each of their legs through the leg-holes and carefully latches each strap - only pausing when they look over and realized they forgot the dick. Oopsie. Fix that.

With it finally on they kneel back on top the bed, untying yours legs and arms and rubbing each appendage carefully, muttering to ask if you're okay in your ear - you nod. Now, it doesn't matter to Hanji how big or small you are. You are going on their lap - no matter how maybe ridiculous you maybe might look, you are straddled their hips at your sex is rubbed against their fake dick. But of course, you're not getting it first without begging for it, or beg for it enough for your lover's liking.

When it's in and your hips are encouraged by Hanji's hands at your hips to start bouncing on it, at your own pace at the start, until a sudden slap to your ass encourages you go faster and you make a noise - muffled by the panties still in your mouth - to your lover's shit eating grinned delight as they start thrusting their hips to meet the back or your thighs in wet snaps.

Hanji absolutely loves having their chest marked up, after ripping the underwear from out of your mouth they'll hold your head to bite at their breasts that gets them to toss their head back in a satisfied hum.

Eventually, will push you to your back and start pounding away at you in their own pace, committing every sound you make to memory and drinking in every call of their name like they were on the brink of dehydration and bit by bit more they push you to the absolute edge - until you nearly scream out your climax, for it to be quickly smoothed by their lips and a tight fist wadded in your hair.

Both of you are jelly boned by the time your finished, completely naked now up in each other's arms and honestly half asleep. That is until you chuckle, nuzzling your face in the crook of your love's neck. "I think that might've been just a tad more than three things," you tell them, which they shrug. "What can I say? I got creative in the moment, you know - there's a ton of things in those books! Maybe some stuff you'll like-" You wave it off with a yawn.

"Maybe later. Nap time now," You can't help the amused smile. "-Squad Leader."

If you like what you read please consider reblogging! It means the world for writers and artists!

[pandora-writes-one-piece]

The Meet Cute - Law's Story - 2

Source for pic

The Great Pretender 2

Word Count: 4816

Tags For The Whole Story: Fem!Reader; Law is a soft dom; you have bratty tendencies (not all the time); voice kink; praise kink; cursing; very suggestive behaviour and innuendo from the start; sexual tension; teasing; so much flirting; romance; slow-burn; fluff; slight angst; mature audiences (though explicit NSFW moments will be properly tagged on the chapter); possessive Law; protective Law; soft Law; teasing Law; manipulative Doflamingo; inappropriate Doflamingo; fake relationship trope; only one-bed trope; reader has some anxiety issues; reader is a control freak and perfectionist; modern day AU

Special Warning: English is not my first language, I apologise for any possible spelling or grammar mistakes.

Summary: After moving away from the hustle and bustle of Grand Line City to help your father around the property following a horse-riding accident - and in the hopes of healing your broken heart after your asshole ex-fiancé cheated - you settle into the country calmness of the Calm Belt. You and Law (your father's doctor) start to build a flirty friendship because of your father’s procedure. So much so that when he’s invited to Baby 5’s wedding (his cousin), he asks you to be his date. His uncle Doflamingo - who is filthy rich - is very adamant on finding a suitable wife for him. Seeing as he wants to avoid that, he asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for the weekend.

Notes: Here's chapter 2! We're still setting up the stage to more exciting events coming up! It's time for Shanks' surgery now.

Tag List: @rosidaze @beachaddict48 @armiliadawn @jintaka-hane @sprinkklz @baby5555

Masterlist

|Chapter 1| | |Chapter 3|

“What do you know about Dr. Law?” Sipping your coffee you stare at Nami, trying to hide the curiosity gnawing at your brain. You haven’t been able to stop thinking about the handsome dark-haired doctor since the appointment two days ago. When you slipped him your number, you unconsciously hoped he would send you a text or give you a call, but then again, why would he? You gave him your number for professional reasons and, despite all the fun teasing when you were with him, you know he’s very professional at his job. 

Also, you knew Kaya would be able to answer any and all lingering questions you might have about him, but Kaya was too invested in trying to set you up and, as attracted as you felt to him, you didn’t really want to act on it.

It was just curiosity.

Right?

“Dr. Law? From the clinic?” Nami placed a finger on her chin as her eyes wandered to the ceiling. “Well, he’s a very good doctor but he’s not very sociable. I think Luffy knows him and they get along well. But he doesn’t party very much. He drinks a lot of coffee - I think Sanji can vouch for that - but he doesn’t hang around coffee shops. He keeps to himself, mostly.” She sighed. “Maybe you should ask Kaya? She sees him on a daily basis! Oh, Robin might answer some questions for you too, they worked together on some paper for a science magazine a while ago.”

Damn it. Not one drop of interesting information. Only that he wasn’t a social butterfly. Shrugging, you nodded and were about to change the subject when Nami’s brow rose. “Why?”

You tried to hide your blush behind the coffee mug. “Oh, no big deal! He’s my dad’s doctor and he’s going to be the one performing his back surgery, should he agree to it. I just wondered how good of a doctor he really was. He seemed professional but you never know!” She was still watching you closely. You were rambling, so you shut up with another sip of coffee. 

“Riiiight.” Her smirk grew. “I’ll pretend to believe you. But I want all the information when things progress between you two!”

-*-

Another two days go by without any exciting news and, somehow, you manage to push Law to the back of your mind, what with the constant scolding of your father’s terrible seating habits, all the helping around the property, and a part-time job Nami had recommended to you at her firm. It was basically sorting files and organising old data and, despite Nami’s assurance that it was mind-numbing, boring work, you secretly loved it.

Because, as Law perfectly diagnosed, you are a bit of a control freak. 

Now that you are back to thinking about him, you remember him telling you that he had a few tips for you to let go and relax. Was he talking about everyday tips or… intimacy tips? Because his tone of voice had suggested something else. 

You are wound up so tight that the thought of relaxing in someone’s care is-... exhilarating. 

Fortunately the buzz of your phone wakes you from your reverie and, patting the cow in front of you on the hind, you walk away from the barn while picking up the call.

“Hello?”

The deep voice calling your name on the other side brings shivers down your spine. It’s Law. “Is this a good time to speak?”

“Yes!” You shake your head and inhale deeply. “Sorry, I was doing some chores for my dad. It’s fine, I’m fine. I mean… yes, you can speak.” Fuck. Once again you wonder what is it about his voice that makes you weak in the knees and dumb in the head?

The vibrato of his chuckle doesn’t have the same effect on you over the phone, but it’s still very endearing. “I’m calling because I’ve managed to check your notebook and I would like to arrange a house call so we can surprise your father.”

Ah, the ambush! You are ready for that. Shanks isn’t.

“I think he will be working around the property all day this week. I won’t be available in the mornings, though. If you can manage a visit in the afternoon, it would work best.”

He hums on the other side and you sit down on a hay bale. Can there be a way to avoid being affected by a tone of voice? Would online research help? “I can make it tomorrow, if that works?”

“Yes! I’m open for you.” You almost bite your tongue as your hand slaps your head. “My schedule is open for you! My schedule!” You bet that if you could see his face, the man would be smirking.

There’s definitely amusement in the tone of his voice. “Tomorrow it is, then.” 

You say your goodbyes and put the phone away as you groan in frustration. How dumb can you be, really?

-*-

When you get home from your part-time job, your organisational needs fulfilled for the day, your father tells you that Ace had come by to help and all the chores were taken care of, so he’s heading out to Beckman’s for beers and to watch the football game.

“No! No, no!” You quickly grab your phone and text the number from which Law called, hoping it’s his personal, or at least professional phone and that he’s carrying it with him now. You quickly say your dad is about to leave and he needs to come ASAP.

Then you turn to Shanks with a pained smile. “Dad, the car is giving me trouble again and I need your help. Teach me how to get it to work effortlessly every time!”

Shanks sighs and looks at his watch. “Fineee. The game doesn’t start for another four hours anyway.”

Placing your hands on your hips, you scrunch your nose. “Four hours? Then why the hell are you going there so early?”

Shanks guffaws. “Pre-game drinks, bug! Why else?” Rolling your eyes to the back of your head, you make your way outside to your car. You keep pestering Shanks about different things, trying to buy your time and, slowly, pissing him off inadvertently, until you spot a fancy car coming up the driveway. 

“Oh, thank God.” You mutter, having exhausted all your car-related questions in your arsenal. 

“Thank God, what? Who’s that?” Shanks closes the door of your car and tilts his head sideways. Once he sees the driver, he groans. “An ambush?” His glare could almost burn holes into you.

“Sorry, Shanks. It’s the only way you’ll speak with Dr. Law! You will undergo that surgery. It’s for your own good!”

Your dad still tries to escape, but as soon as he witnesses the scowl on Law’s face, he stops trying to struggle and resigns himself to the situation. Law is dressed casually without his doctor’s coat on: black t-shirt and again with those cute, spotted jeans. He’s so tall and lean, with defined muscles, but nothing too big. And the tattoos… paired with the earrings and the rebel goatee, they almost make you want to squeal. This man is too damn hot to be walking around.

He says your name as he leaves the car with a sly smile and then turns to your dad. “Mr. S. Hi. So sorry for the ambush, but you wouldn’t come to me, so I had to come to you. I’m told we’re going through with the surgery and I’m here to explain everything.”

Shanks groans and you chuckle. “Let’s go inside, I’ll make coffee.” 

Law’s ears perk at that, as you knew they would, and now you’re feeling the pressure of making a good cup of coffee. Fortunately, you’ve just stocked up on some amazing roasted coffee beans that Sanji recommended, and they truly make a delicious brew. 

-*-

Two and a half hours are all it takes for Law to go over the questions in your notebook. He compliments your organisational skills with a slight smirk, and a teasing remark about you trying to control everything, but you try to ignore his tone and he continues. 

He also answers all of your father’s sillier questions, even the one where he asks if he would lose function of any necessary limbs - you know what he’s referring to and you just shake your head at him - but Law handles it very professionally.

By the end, Shanks seems to be a bit more at ease with the whole process - and frankly, so are you - so he agrees when Law says he’ll schedule all necessary pre-surgery exams and the surgery itself.

Shanks leaves in a hurry to go and meet Beckman because the game should be starting in under two hours and he’s not nearly tipsy enough to watch his team lose. Thanking Law, he leaves you two alone telling you not to wait up for him.

Sighing, you get up from your chair to collect the empty coffee mugs. “That went well!” You can’t hide a soft smile from gracing your lips. Law gets up too as he helps you by grabbing his mug and a plate with cookies you had set out, and follows you to the kitchen.

“It really did. I’ll let you both know when the exams and the surgery are scheduled. His jitters will come back, but, if we’re lucky, only on surgery day. He’s going to be fine.”

You finish placing the dirty mugs in the sink and turn to him, leaning on the counter slightly and nodding your head with a weary smile. “Yes, yes, I know. He’s in good hands.”

Law approaches and, reaching behind you, places his dirty mug in the sink, his body a breath away from yours. You can almost feel his own breath in your ear, just for a moment, before he pulls back and steps away from you.

You release the breath you barely realised had been trapped as he keeps eye contact with you. “Thank you for the coffee you made for me. It was delicious.”

“I…” The praise! The damned praise! It turns your legs into jelly and leaves your tongue tied. You have to clear your throat before you manage to utter a full sentence. “Thank you. Sanji said it was a very good quality bean and I followed his instructions.”

His smirk disarms you as much as his praise and he partners it with a slight chuckle and by crossing his arms over his chest. “And do you always follow instructions that well?”

Oh… cheeky.

“Not always. It depends on the instructions. I tend to be a bit of a brat, sometimes.” You respond in kind to his teasing and, as you notice the glint in his eyes and the slight bob of his throat, you don’t regret it one bit. 

“Interesting.”

The look you give each other feels charged with tension, electrical, almost. Again, this was supposed to be a professional visit. Why do the two of you keep playing this dangerous game of teasing each other?

Are you willing to push the game further?

You wouldn’t mind trying a few naughty things with the doctor, but then again, you came to the Calm Belt to get your mind off romantic affairs and help mend your broken heart. 

But then again… this wouldn’t be romantic… just a bit of fun. And don’t they say that rebound sex is good for broken hearts?

Your wandering thoughts are cut short by an insistent beep from Law’s pager. He grunts and grabs it, glancing at it before sighing. “It’s the hospital. I have to go. We’ll keep in touch, okay?”

Yeah you wouldn’t mind that… keeping in touch…

“Yes! We’ll wait for the exam confirmations. Thank you for all your help.” You say while accompanying him to the door. 

As he descends the steps of the porch, he glances back to give you one last smirk, the tension of your previous moment still hovering above you both. “You did very well with that notebook. It was very thorough and neatly organised.” 

Your breath hitches and you feel your cheeks flush with colour. Law opens the door to his car and gazes at you, burning you with his stare. “I can’t wait to witness how you act when you stop trying to control everything and just… surrender.”

His voice is low, teasing and commanding. Laced with a promise of something more, something else, a not so subtle invitation to a very enticing what if. As his car rides up the driveway, you’re left standing in the doorway, your pulse quickening, even though he’s long gone. 

-*-

The day of the surgery finally arrives and you’re sure that your father didn’t sleep a wink. And neither have you. You shower and get dressed and when you get downstairs, he’s sitting by the kitchen chair looking very pale and worried.

“Morning, dad.” Shanks can’t eat or drink anything pre-surgery so you fill your coffee cup and stuff an apple in your purse for later. “How are you feeling? Get any sleep?”

Shanks groans. “I’m terrible, bug. I didn’t sleep a wink.”

You smile as you reach and hug his shoulders from behind. “It’s okay, daddy. You’ll sleep under anaesthesia.” He doesn’t laugh as you hoped he would, so you try to reassure him. “Dr. Law is very good at his job, dad. You’ll be in and out in an instant. Everything will be alright! Plus, I’ll be there waiting for you, okay?”

You asked for days off work to help a family member and arranged with Ace to feed the animals on the property, so you’re covered. All you have to do is worry nonstop in a hospital waiting room while your father is being operated on. 

Nothing too serious. 

Everything passes in a blur after you both leave the house. Shanks is feeling more and more anxious and you aren’t faring much better either. By the time you reach the hospital - in the next town over, where Law performs surgeries on his days off from the clinic - you are both very pale and nauseous. 

You check him in and, as he’s being taken to a room to get prepped for surgery, Law appears and asks you to come in so he can speak with both of you. He reviews the process step by step as you nod along - having studied the procedure from front to back, as the little control freak you are - assures you both that he will be there the entire time, reassuring you that it’s a routine procedure and everything will be alright. 

Shanks feels better once the nurses start to apply drugs to the IV, but you’re still wound as tight as a rope, so Law gently grasps your arm, leading you to the room where you will be waiting for the surgery to be over. He seats you in a chair and fills a cup of water from the dispenser.

“Drink.” He uses the commanding tone you’re slowly getting used to, and you do as you’re told. “You have nothing to worry about. I’ll take care of your father. He’s a strong man and this is routine. He’s got this.” Your eyes fix somewhere in front of you, staring into a void as your heart thumps against your eardrums in a deafening rhythm. Law’s firm hand captures your chin as he tilts your head up to meet his amber gaze. “I’ve got this. I won’t let anything happen to him. Do you trust me?”

It seems like such a charged question. As if he’s asking this and meaning so much more than the hours he’ll spend operating on your dad. Yet, you have no doubt about the answer.

“I do.” You whisper softly. 

Nodding, he turns to leave. “It will pass in an instant, okay? Try not to worry.” He leaves you alone, feeling the weight of fear crushing you and pressing down on your back. You feel helpless, impotent about what you can do to help, to make sure the outcome is a happy one.

But everything feels too out of control. 

Half an hour passes. The clock ticks relentlessly, and you still haven't moved. You brought a book and your cell phone is fully charged, yet you haven’t even taken your purse off your shoulder, your fingers still clutch the plastic cup that Law filled with water for you.

Your throat is dry yet you can’t find the strength to get more water. Your breath comes in shallow, uneven gasps, and your legs are restless.

Another ten minutes pass before you feel a light tap on your shoulder, pulling you back from the stress of the unknown, the unplanned, and the endless possibilities of what can go wrong.

“Kaya?” You whisper, your voice hoarse and ragged with fear.

Your friend smiles at you as she sits down by your side. “Dr. Law called me. He said to leave the clinic to the two morons - Penguin and Shachi are some of his closest friends, did you know that? - and said that I should come to you, immediately! Leaving no chance to argue back. He said he would pay me extra, but I told him to shove the berries in his back pocket because I’d gladly help you without any coercion.”

You blink slowly, your mind still too deep in the fog of uncertainty to really focus on Kaya’s words. Besides, she just dumped a lot of information on you, though one thought lingers front and centre: Law told her to come to you.

“Wait, Law told you to come here?”

She squeals excitedly while nodding with vigour. “He did! He said you looked scared and on the verge of a panic attack and he didn’t want you to be alone in the waiting room for two to three hours. How romantic is that?”

You take a deep breath and, finally, lean back in your chair, removing the strap from your purse and drinking the rest of the water. You already feel more at ease. Kaya’s presence is already reassuring you and easing your fears. “Not as romantic as you make it seem, since I’m about to shit my pants with fear.”

Kaya chuckles and takes the empty cup from your hand, throwing it in the trash and sitting back down. She takes your hand in hers in a reassuring way. “Honey, there’s no need to fret. Dr. Law is the best. You really don’t have to worry. You have no idea how many awards he has! And he’s still so young! He’s not even thirty yet, the man is a medical genius or something!”

She chuckles again and you stare in awe. You had no idea. Kaya sees your reaction and continues. 

“He even skipped a few grades in school. He took advanced classes and entered university two years early! He managed to finish his degree in half the time. He’s really smart and diligent.”

“Wow…” You say dumbly. “I didn’t know that. He did seem very professional and young, but I had no idea he was so good.”

“Honey, he’s much better than just good! I guarantee you that!” She giggles one more time, certainly already adding another chapter to her imaginary novel of your romance. “Did you know he comes from money?”

Raising a brow you turn fully to her, waiting for her to continue.

“He’s related to the Donquixotes. They’re filthy rich.”

Oh, you know damn well who the Donquixotes are. They’re close friends of the Vinsmokes, your ex’s family. You know they have loads of money, influence, power, status… you name it. You never made official acquaintance with them, but you glimpsed the head of the family, Donquixote Doflamingo, at some important parties, and the whole demeanour of the man demands respect. 

You had no idea Law was related to them. 

“I had no idea, Kaya. I know who they are. My ex’s family was very influential and they often frequented the same social circles.”

She’s just about to retort with some more gossip - you assume - when the staff door opens and a slightly frazzled nurse comes to speak with you. Immediately standing, you hope to hear her say that the surgery’s over, but her countenance tells you otherwise, and her words confirm it.

“There was a slight complication with your father’s procedure. There’s some unexpected swelling and inflammation in the tissue surrounding the herniated disc. Dr. Law wanted me to reassure you that all is well, and the only thing this means is that the surgery will be prolonged since he needs to proceed slower and with more caution.” The nurse gives you a strained smile. “He was very adamant that I make sure you understood that he would never let anything happen to your father and to confirm you were already accompanied by Nurse Kaya.”

You nod as you slump back down in the chair, all words stripped away from you, leaving Kaya to answer instead.

“Thank you nurse. Please assure Dr. Law that I’m with her and she’s very grateful for his help.”

The nurse nods and goes back inside while you review the surgery procedure again in your head. You remember reading something in the complications section about tissue swelling. Going back and forth on your mental notes, you don’t think it's something to worry about, but that means that Shanks is going to be under anaesthesia for at least one or two hours more than originally planned and-...

“What? Sorry!” You answer, as Kaya had been repeating your name for a while, trying to ground you back in reality. 

“I said he’s going to be fine! It’s a very normal thing to happen in these procedures. Dr. Law is perfectly equipped to handle it! Remember? He’s a genius!”

You nod vigorously. You know he’s going to be fine. You just know. 

He has to.

-*-

Five hours and thirty-three minutes.

That is the total amount of time that your father stayed in the operating room. But now that a nurse has come by to tell you the surgery is over and they are moving him to the recovery room, you can finally breathe. 

Kaya has stayed by your side the whole time. You received a bunch of phone calls from your friends and neighbours and time passed. Sometimes slowly, other times in a blink. But now everything is fine.

And the man you have to thank for that, has just opened the door to speak with you. His eyes seem weary and tired, the bags under them a bit more pronounced, but he has a reassuring smile on his lips as he approaches you.

He says your name and you get up to meet him halfway. “The surgery is over, Mr. S. is fine and will recover from the anaesthesia in one or two hours. After that he’ll be transferred to a room where I specifically said that you were allowed in, at any time of the day during how long you wish to remain.”

Your eyes feel wet and prickly as the lump in your throat tightens and makes it hard to breathe. Kaya squeezes your hand and Law continues.

“Despite the unexpected complication, everything went according to plan. The hernia was removed and, after appropriate recovery time and some physical therapy, your father will recover perfectly well.”

You are so grateful that you have to fight the urge to wrap your arms around his neck. “Thank you, Law.” The sound that comes from your lips is a mere whisper. 

“I told you to trust me, didn’t I?” His smile deepens and you hear a muffled squeal coming from Kaya, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Law. “Nurse Kaya, thank you for being here.”

She nods and grins at him. “I would never leave our girl alone and afraid, Dr. Law!”

Our girl? You raise an eyebrow at her expecting Law to make some stern remark, but he just chuckles and nods. “Right.” He says. “Thank you. I will check on Mr. S. in a couple of hours.” Then he stares straight into your eyes, his amber gaze full of care and assuredness. “If you need anything at all, you have my number.”

-*-

Kaya wants to stay with you until you are allowed to see your dad, but you tell her to go home. Usopp, her fiancé, has already called her because she’s usually off work by now, and you don’t want to impose.

Besides, there’s nothing else to be scared of. The surgery is over and Shanks is fine. 

She finally relents and leaves you alone and you barely have to wait another hour before the nurse summons you and takes you to your father’s room. He’s lying in bed with a very tired look on his face.

“Dad!” You exclaim as soon as you enter.

“Bug, I thought you were home.” His voice seems very hoarse and you can see he’s making an effort, so you sit down in the chair next to the bed and take his hand, squeezing it tightly. 

“Don’t speak, dad. Just rest. I’m so happy you’re okay. Law said I was allowed to stay in your room for as long as I wish. I’ll stay here with you!” You eye the couch set in the corner of the room. It seems perfectly comfortable for you to sleep on. You just don’t want to leave him.

You forced him to undergo surgery, so you feel responsible for his well-being and want to be there to cater to his every need. 

He nods and closes his eyes. “Are you in pain? Just nod or shake your head, don’t try to speak.” He shakes his head and you sigh. “Okay daddy.” You lean in and place a lingering kiss on his temple. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”

“How are we feeling?” Law asks from near your chair and you jump. You didn’t even hear him enter the room. 

Shanks opens his eyes but doesn’t speak, instead, he raises his thumb to give Law a thumbs up, making the doctor chuckle lightly. 

“Alright, Mr. S., I’m going to do a quick check-up before leaving you to rest for the night, okay?” Shanks nods and you get up to give Law some space. After he finishes the exam, checking the drugs in the IV bag and his charts, Shanks is already snoring, so he beckons you to follow him outside the room.

“How is he?” Anxiety laces your question as you wring your fingers together. “From what I’ve read, there can be about a 10% chance of post-surgery infection, so we need to watch out for any redness or swelling, and maybe some fever. Though since he’s under a lot of drugs, we might not spot a fever right away. And, oh! There’s also a supposed 3% chance of blood clots occurring -...”

“Relax.” His hands rest against your shoulders, pressing firmly while his thumbs draw soft circles against your shirt. “I told you I’ve got this. Your father’s in good hands. You said you trusted me.”

You open your mouth to speak, clearly still meaning to add more information about post-surgical statistics you’ve been reading about since Kaya left, but one of his hands climbs up your shoulder and rests on your cheek in an affectionate gesture, much more intimate than you were expecting. 

“Relax. There’s no need to be in control now. I’m in control here. Okay? Just let go.”

All the breath leaves your lungs at once. The firmness of his touch and the assuredness of his voice make you nod and comply, your shoulders slumping forward, immediately relaxing your posture.

What the hell?

You have suffered quite a bit in the past with anxiety and stressful situations, often finding yourself spiralling because you couldn’t control a specific situation. You had never managed to calm down so easily, so effortlessly. Ichiji only made it worse, so you never really had an anchor to ground you. But Law… he did it in the blink of an eye. With a touch and a few words.

This is a first.

Surprise is still etched on your face when he steps back, leaving only a cold void within you. “His vitals are all stable and he’s not in pain. The night nurse will keep monitoring his condition. You’re welcome to stay by his side or go home and rest. He’s in good hands.” 

You nod, still too stunned to speak and exhaustion is beginning to take its toll on your body and mind. “I’ll… I’ll stay. My brain is too numb to drive home now.”

He nods in understanding. “I’ll be here around lunchtime to check on him again. Try to rest. Everything’s alright now.”

Once again, his words stir something within you, a feeling of safety, and you nod in agreement. 

It will all be fine now.

|Chapter 3|

[gurugirl]

The Scientist & the Stripper | Jealous

Summary: Harry finally comes to visit you at work - and just as you suspected, he gets a little jealous (nerd scientist!harry x stripper!y/n)

A/n: As requested - another check in with our odd couple! I would recommend reading THIS first. 4.4k words

Warning: 18+ only, smut, spanking, jealousy

❖❖❖

You’d given up on having Harry come to see you at work. You understood why he didn’t want to go. You knew he could be a bit jealous. The very first night you met him you saw it when he confronted Dale and then took you away from him at your party. So, if he reacted that way with Dale you could only imagine his reaction to a bunch of men ogling you while you danced half-naked for their money.

You’d been official with him for a few months now and seeing him for nearly 6. Harry was by far the best boyfriend you’d ever had. It surprised you too. When you first slept with him you didn’t think that it would really work in the long run. Not that you didn’t think he was great, but he was very inexperienced and most men weren’t able to deal with your job. Being a stripper meant the pool of men who would consider getting serious with you was limited. And a man who’d never even had sex before? You didn’t think Harry was in that pool. But he was.

He kept coming around and you kept daydreaming about him. Because even though he was a virgin when you first slept with him, he was really really good and he was very sweet. Not the overbearing annoying kind of sweet that you hated. The right in the middle, thoughtful and practical kind of sweet.

And he was a great listener too. Harry loved being taught new things and you didn’t mind teaching him. Because he was a fast learner and he remembered all of your little pointers to the T. He even did his own research apart from you. Harry’s curious, scientist’s mind was always digging into information and learning as much as he could about any subject he found interesting. And he found sex interesting. Obviously. So he learned things you hadn’t even considered teaching him. And he used his new knowledge on you with excitement.

But apart from the sex, Harry was just an overall great guy. He wasn’t a big talker but if he knew about anything being discussed he would give his input and it always amazed you at how smart he was. When you’d have him around your friends he wasn’t shy per se, more so just reserved. He liked to hear what others said and take note. Your friends got used to him. They wound up really liking him. He wasn’t annoying and he didn’t act like a know-it-all. He fit in pretty well.

And Harry had a handful of friends too. He knew them all from the University. They were nice and smart and you liked them all. But Harry was special. You appreciated him so much. You loved that he had his own thing going on and that he wasn’t obsessed with what you were doing when you were working (he knew what you were doing but he didn’t dwell on it).

The last guy you dated was always waiting for you after your shift and making sure you weren’t doing anything he didn’t like. He didn’t trust you. And you always thought you’d have to prove to whomever you dated that you could be trusted. But you never had to do that with Harry. He trusted you. Completely. But he was quite jealous. Territorial. Which was why he always declined in coming to see you at the club. Because he knew you were his and he trusted you, but he didn’t like it when others looked at you or made comments about you. He might have been reserved but he didn’t have any issues being upfront and confrontational when needed.

And you knew this because it happened occasionally. Even when it might not have been a big deal, Harry didn’t like anyone looking at you or trying anything funny. Like when you and Harry went to the North Avenue beach on a warm sunny Saturday. You were in your bikini and laying on a towel while Harry was reading next to you in his swim shorts and a t-shirt.

A guy a few feet away kept looking at you but you didn’t notice because you were napping and had your eyes closed. But then you heard Harry’s voice.

“That’s enough, mate.”

You lifted your head to look up at Harry and saw him looking over you at someone else. You turned and cupped your eyes from the sun to look at the other person and it was a man not far away. He looked from Harry to you and shrugged and then back toward to lake without responding.

And to be honest. You quite liked how Harry was a bit territorial. He was also a little bit intimidating with his height and build so most of the time he was met with little resistance or pushback from anyone he told off.

So when you spotted him on Friday night at Star Room you were surprised. You didn’t know he was planning to visit. You weren’t on stage when you spotted him, luckily, or it might have fucked up your whole routine.

“Sadie, I’ll be right back! My boyfriend’s out there!” You said as you ran out of the dressing room.

Harry spotted you coming from the doorway that led to the fitting rooms behind the stage and he sat up straight smiling at you.

“Baby! What are you doing here?”

“Thought I’d just come to check it out. Got my work done and I missed you.”

You usually slept over at his or him at yours but for the past couple of nights, it just didn’t work out. You took a shift on Thursday night and on Wednesday Harry was gone all day at the lab and didn’t come back til late. Your schedules clashed a bit for the last few days so it was nice to see his handsome face.

You sat next to him and kissed his cheek, “I can’t stay here long because I’m going up soon but thank you for coming! Will you stay til I’m off?”

Harry nodded and kissed you in return, “Sure.”

Your routine was sexy. You killed it as usual. And with Harry in the crowd, you really put on a show for him. It was also Friday night and there was a bachelor party in attendance. They were all in the front row and being quite obnoxious but you kept your eyes on Harry.

When your little dress came off and your tits were on show for everyone you watched him tense up as he looked at the men in front of you who were shouting and leaning on the stage throwing cash at your feet.

You still had a job to do so you danced for the ones who gave you the most and squatted in front of them. You pressed your heel into the short guy's cheek as he started to climb up onto the stage when he asked you to marry him. You shook your head and laughed. It was actually a pretty normal Friday night. But you didn’t want them climbing onto the stage. Security usually took care of that for you but as part of your fun show, you gently pushed him away, which the short guy absolutely loved as he threw another wad of cash down for you.

You stood up and moved your hips and walked to the other side of the stage and shook your ass, bending down in front of the men. More cash. More whistles.

When you’d made your rounds and hit all the sides of the stage you noticed Harry wasn’t sitting anymore. He was standing up straight and watching the short guy from earlier. You continued moving your hips and smiling as you looked toward the short guy and realized he was leaning on the stage again. He was saying something you couldn’t hear from where you were but it looked like Harry could hear it and he wasn’t very happy about it.

You looked over at security and they were nearby making sure no one was doing anything they shouldn’t. The short guy wasn’t being that crazy but leaning on the stage was where they usually drew the line. Any more and he’d be escorted out.

The moment your bit was over you scooped up your cash, crawling around on the floor and making a show of it (as usual) when the short guy waved at you and motioned for you to come near.

You looked over at Harry and he was looking at the man with narrowed eyes. You faced the short guy and nodded, “What is it, honey?”

“I’m getting married tomorrow but I think I’m in love with you!” He was laughing with a big smile as he spoke it. You knew it was all in fun. The guy was a bit tipsy and he was obnoxious but he wasn’t doing anything that bad. You’d seen worse.

“I’m sure your fiancé would love to hear that!” You spoke as you stood up with all the cash in hand. But when you stood up you realized Harry was making his way to the front. Toward the short guy.

You quickly left the stage and ran to the dressing room to put your cash away and slip a robe on so you could intervene if needed. Harry was about to tell that guy to buzz off and you didn’t need any altercations.

Harry had never gotten into a fight over you but he didn’t back down either.

By the time you were on the floor and making your way to Harry you realized the two were in a heated discussion and Harry was towering over the guy and calmly telling him to fuck off. But of course, the short guy was drinking and his temperament wasn’t as calm as Harry’s.

You heard bits and pieces of their argument as you got closer, “Dude… your girlfriend is a stripper what do you expect?”

Harry responded but his voice was lower and you couldn’t hear him.

“Man, I’m just having fun here! She had her tits out and she was flirting with me…” you heard him say but the music came on for the next dancer and you couldn’t hear the rest.

You grasped Harry’s arm and looked up at him, “Harry!”

Harry looked down at you and his face softened when he saw you, “I’m sorry. He’s being disrespectful.”

You looked toward the short man, who was only a couple of inches taller than you and the gross smile on his face had your skin crawling. He said something but you couldn’t hear his words over the loud song playing on the speakers.

He reached out to touch your arm but Harry pulled you behind him and pushed the guy away, “Back the fuck off.”

With that Harry turned and moved you away and through the crowd that had gathered toward where the entry to the dressing rooms were.

“Harry, you have to remember this is what happens here. The men tend to be disrespectful. I just ignore them once my routine is over,” you grabbed his collar and made him bend down so you could speak into his ear.

Harry put his arms around you and pulled you into his chest and responded, “I know. But he said he was gonna have you do a private lap dance for him and I don’t like him. I don’t want him touching you.”

You chuckled and smiled, “Harry, it’s part of the job. And I wouldn’t have done a lap dance for him because he’s been a bit too rowdy. I get to choose whom I do a lap dance for. Plus it’s almost closing time. No private dances are allowed now anyway.”

Reluctantly, Harry let you go when you told him you needed to clean up and change. He said he’d be waiting for you where he was sitting originally.

You wiped your makeup off and pulled your hair into a ponytail when Tonya sat down next to you to remove her own makeup, “Is that tall man with glasses out there yours?” You heard her ask you as she continued wiping at her makeup, never looking at you through the mirror.

You smiled and nodded, “Yes. He’s my boyfriend.”

She hummed and this time she made eye contact with you in the mirror, “He’s almost prettier than you. Better keep an eye on him, though. Candy was over there with him just now.”

You laughed and shook your head, “Typical, Candy.”

When you said your goodbyes to the girls you slung your gym bag over your shoulder and walked out into the main room. Sure enough, Candy was still with Harry. She hadn’t changed out of her outfit and she was laughing about something. Which had you rolling your eyes. The girl was ruthless.

“Hi babe,” you spoke as you leaned down to kiss Harry’s cheek.

He quickly stood up and took your hand in his as he turned to Candy, “Told you.”

Candy just winked at you and then looked back to Harry, “Baby, of course, you’re taken. You’re too fucking fine to be single. Take care of this one, Y/n., Jesus he’s gorgeous,” she said as she eyed Harry once more before turning and walking to the dressing rooms.

“I’m sorry. She just started hitting on me. I told her you were my girlfriend over and over,”

You reached up to pull him down and kissed his mouth. He was overthinking again.

You pulled away from the kiss with a smile as you pulled Harry with you toward the exit, “I know, Harry. Don’t worry. Candy’s like that with any attractive man.”

You and Harry were in separate cars and the lot was full when Harry arrived so he was parked a bit away from where you were.

He walked you to your car and then you saw the short guy with a few of his friends. They appeared to be waiting for a taxi. Which might have been the smartest move the short guy had made all night.

He waved at you and then flipped Harry off, all in jest, of course, that much you could tell. But Harry didn’t get that memo.

“Hey!” He shouted as he turned toward the man. He began to walk in the direction of the rowdy group, for what purpose you couldn’t be sure. But you’d never seen him get so riled up before.

“Harry! Stop!” You shouted and jogged toward him, grabbing his arm, “Leave it. He’s just trying to get a rise out of you. He knows we’re together. Don’t play into it.”

Harry looked down at you and clenched his jaw before looking back toward the man, “She’s coming home with me. Get lost!”

You chuckled and pulled at Harry’s arm, “Let’s go home.”

When you both arrived in your separate cars and got into the elevator you realized Harry was still fuming from the guy. You put your hand inside his and looked up at him, “Hey… it’s fine, Harry. You trust me, don’t you?”

Harry’s eyes widened and his features relaxed, “Oh my god. Yes! It’s not you that makes me upset. I just think people should respect boundaries and he was rude and I didn’t like that.”

When the elevator stopped at your floor you both got off and Harry kept your hand in his, “Come to mine,” he said.

You smiled, “Sure.”

The moment you got into his condo Harry locked the door and put his arms around you and tucked his face into your neck, “Go get on the bed.”

You gulped in surprise a little at his demand. He normally asked or suggested. Sometimes he could be a bit dominant but it usually was during the act when he’d already lost himself in lust a bit.

You bit your lip and nodded as you made your way to his room and climbed onto his bed.

Harry joined you in his room a few minutes later, carrying a glass of water which he placed on the bedside table.

He looked at you, his face set stoically as he pulled his shirt off over his head. He crawled onto the bed and his strong chest was rising and falling with heavy breaths. He took your wrists in his hands and pinned you down and began kissing your neck and then up to your jaw, sucking small bruises onto your skin, “You’re mine. Everyone should know this…” he mumbled into your neck.

You gasped at his primal act and felt your body flush with desire. Harry sat up and looked down at the bruises he’d left and smiled, releasing your wrists and then he pulled at you so you were sitting up. He removed your shirt and then unclipped your bra, quickly pulling the material from your breasts before nudging you back down. His mouth covered your nipples and licked at your soft skin before he began sucking more bruises onto the flesh of your tits.

“Harry!” you panted at the feel of him sucking on your skin. It hurt a little but you wouldn’t stop him. You’d never seen him so jealous or territorial or whatever this was. Moving his mouth to your other nipple he looked up at you and sucked hard again, more bruises on your flesh and you keened already feeling your panties getting messy.

Harry knelt above you and kneaded at your tits, observing the work of his hands on your plush skin.

“Harry…” you put your hand up to his chest and felt his warm skin under your palm. He looked up at you and gently put your hand into his and began kissing the underside of your wrist, “I just want everyone to know you’re not up for grabs. You’re only mine.”

He let go of your wrist and lowered himself until his lips were kissing at your ribs and lowering until he got to your belly button. He put his fingers into the waistband of your sweatpants and pulled them down fast, the material flying across the room.

He looked down between your legs, pushed your thighs apart, kissed over the fabric of your panties, and made a sound that was awfully similar to a growl. He nosed at your crotch and squeezed at your thighs and then your hips before pushing himself up again to pull your panties off.

He added more bruises to the insides of your thighs and you brushed his hair from his forehead as you watched him in awe. He licked and sucked the soft meat until he finally put you out of your misery and covered your pussy with his big mouth.

Harry’s skill in cunnilingus had only improved. And you learned he loved being praised when he did well. And as a perfectionist who loved being the best at what he did, well… one can just imagine.

You were grasping the sheets and panting when your quaking thighs began to pull closed around Harry’s head. You hadn’t even realized you’d done it until you felt him smack your thigh and he sat back onto his bent legs.

You dropped your mouth open in shock. He’d never smacked your thigh before. He’d tested the waters a few times with a bit of a swat to your bottom, but a full-on palm smack? And he did it in response to you closing your thighs around him. You knew him to be a little dominant but this was new territory.

Harry kept his eyes on yours as he pulled his pants down his legs, “Wish that asshole could hear the way I make you moan when I fuck you,” he spoke as he squared his hips into yours, your legs wrapping around his low back as he settled over you.

“Well if he’s a neighbor then he probably has,” you teased in a giggle. You could be a little loud at times. Not every time you had sex, just when he went especially hard and you had a feeling he was about to rail you.

Harry smirked and then grabbed your left thigh, pulling it down from his back and urging it up toward your chest, then repeated with your other til your knees were being pushed into your body, held in place by his left hand. He sat up as he swiped a finger up your slit before he grasped his cock with his free hand and pressed it through your crease, bumping at your clit and then lowering to just push the tip past your entrance, “You get so wet for me…” another smack to your thigh and you gasped in shock again.

“I think you like that don’t you?” He swatted closer to your bottom as he gripped your shins with his hand to keep you in place.

“Oh my god, Harry! Yes!”

His smirk turned into a genuine smile when he scooted in closer to you, “Good. Because I do too,” he popped your other thigh and then pressed his thick cock into your pussy making you cry out.

Harry keened at the feel of you around him but he gave little pause before he began to sink into you until he was coated by your warm, wet walls.

When his hips began to buck into you he looked down to where his cock was disappearing into your body. Your body lurched under his pounding, his hips smacking into you as he fucked you into the mattress.

Tears began to leak from your eyes as you panted under the pressure, “F-fuck!” was all you seemed to be able to squeak out.

Harry let go of the front of your shins and your feet hit the mattress as he pulled out and leaned over you, pressing his mouth over yours and licking at your lips, “Roll over to your tummy,” he instructed with a murmur against your lips.

Once you were tummy down Harry swatted your bum again, this time feeling the satisfaction of your soft bottom under his palm. He grasped your hips and pulled your ass upward and smacked at your other cheek, causing a yelp to fall from your mouth, “Fuck look at you…” Harry groaned.

With his hands squeezing at your bottom you suddenly felt his tongue on your asshole and that had you losing all composure. Harry kissed over your bottom and sucked at your skin and then sat back with another groan, “I have to get a condom. Fuck I want to come inside your little cunt so bad. Knock you up and show everyone they don’t get to even look at you…”

Your heart was racing in your chest at his words but he did get up to get a condom. Even if it was reluctantly. You’d both discussed having you go on the pill but you’d had so many bad experiences using birth control that you’d given up and Harry seemed happy to continue using condoms. But this was the first time he’d ever said something to the contrary. It was also the first time he’d ever said that.

You pushed yourself up to see him and when he returned to the bed he gave you a pointed look, which had you stuffing your face back into the comforter and arching your back with your ass in the air.

Harry kneed up behind you and put his palms over your cheeks again, spreading them apart before you felt his cock nudging into you, slowly splitting you apart, “So fucking good…” Harry panted.

Soon the bed was creaking and your lungs were getting a good workout as he fucked himself into you at a rough and desperate pace.

You couldn’t lie and say there wasn’t a pinch or the slightest sting of pain from how he worked himself into and dipped deep into your tummy. But it was yummy and every time his hand landed on your thigh or your bottom you jumped and then moaned with a shattered breath.

“Fuck…” Harry sputtered out when his motions slowed but he began grinding into you so deep, barely pulling himself out anymore. He leaned over your back and his lips met the curve of your neck after he took your hair into his fingers and lifted your head upward for his access.

“Harry, please! Oh mmmmmmhh!!”

“And the way you say my name when my dick is deep inside of you…” he rasped into your ear.

Harry rolled his hips languidly, his cock stuffed into the hilt.  Your thighs were quivering once again, you were so close to falling apart. You moved your hand between your legs and began to rub your fingers on your clit and you whimpered at the feeling of your button being rubbed while Harry was deeply fucking you and filling your insides with his length.

Your jaw dropped open as you pleaded for him with your body, pushing back onto him as you choked out sobs of ecstasy.

Harry kept his mouth at your neck and his hand in your hair as he leaned over you, his cock submerged deep, “I know you like this… like my cock don’t you?”

You nodded your head and mumbled a yes as you gasped, your orgasm making your body vibrate as you dissolved in pleasure.

Harry was right behind you. His own voice came out a bit louder than normal as he felt you spasm around him, hot come filling his condom as he pushed into you impossibly deep until you both collapsed on the bed together Harry rolled you both to your sides so he didn’t crush you.

You closed your eyes and sighed and Harry squeezed you close and pressed his nose into the side of your neck

“Mmmm… so good,” you heard Harry whisper, his lips brushing against your neck.

You nodded your head and smiled, “So good.”

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[sandyferal]

I genuinely think Tootie’s behavior towards Timmy would improve dramatically like. The second Vicky moves out of the family house. It’s clear that Vicky is severely inhibiting Tootie’s ability to have friends, much less have them come over and spend time with her. And it feels likely that the main reason her crush turned into an obsession is because Timmy had shown himself to be the only person willing to be nice to her. It doesn’t justify the way she acted, but let’s be real it’s not like she has good role models to teach her better.

I feel like once Vicky isn’t around to ruin her social life she’ll be able to have other friends over and like, have someone around to seek comfort in that isn’t her crush. She could actually start growing as a person. Which could happen as soon as like, 1-3 years after the events of the show?

I also really like the idea that even if she isn’t obsessed with Timmy, that Crimson Chin doll he gave her holds a special place in her heart because like. As a sentimental person I gotta be real something like that would never not be sweet to me. I’d thinking about it for years.

And I like to think because of that she eventually got into comics and began to obsess over those instead. Maybe Crimson Chin wasn’t her thing! But she seems to enjoy fantasies and I think it would be so fun to see her find her own interests. If we’re getting into specifics, I get the vibes that she would be into comics following heroes like Superman, or when villainesses get their own comics like Harley or Poison Ivy. Obviously not those exact characters but those are the vibes I get. Not to say I don’t think she wouldn’t still have girly interests and love romance and stuff but man.

Additionally. I fucking hate Tootie from the live action movies. They glorify her as hot and morally perfect while simultaneously treating how she was as a child as weird and ugly. Man people grow up and sometimes get less weird but like some people are just dorks. Tootie is a dork. Keep her as an overenthusiastic, emotional, glasses-wearing, strong-willed dork. You cowards. Women don’t need to be “perfect” to be accepted and loved.

If Tootie and Timmy did eventually get together, personally I think it would be good if Timmy just. Didn’t see her for a while. She gets more into spending time with actual friends, and doesn’t talk to Timmy as much until they meet up again a couple years later at an afterschool comic club/comic con, or something of that sort. I think she deserves to be her own person before she actually ends up with anyone.

And while I normally don’t like “ships” (I say that in quotes bc I don’t particularly feel compelled to ship these children at all) that involves a party who clearly isn’t interested… they’re also. Children. It’s not that serious. They really shouldn’t be together at this age anyway, and they probably will change as they get older.

It doesn’t feel that big of a deal to imagine Tootie and Timmy might be together as adults despite their current dynamic, because the main issues are:

a) Tootie doesn’t respect boundaries and is emotionally unstable, which are both likely caused by isolation, lack of good role models, and being too young to understand things. Very likely she grows out of it.

b) Timmy not liking her. Which, in the context of the early episodes about her, is actually something you could debate?

To clarify, he obviously isn’t interested in a romantic relationship most of the time, but at the same time he clearly has some care for her. The argument could be made that it is because of his fairies influencing him, yes, or it’s just pity. But like. There are episodes where he legit just does something because he wants her to be happy. And he indicates he doesn’t really dislike her or hate spending time with her. He, at least in theory, is actually willing to spend time with her. (“I would’ve gone to her dumb party if she’d invited me.”) That’s not even mentioning how he. Like. Just straight up chose to stick himself with a love arrow because he wanted to enjoy spending a Valentine’s Day with her. Which is a whole thing that could be analyzed but not the point.

If anything his actions point to a young boy who at the moment, only feels attraction through the lense of someone being “pretty” instead of someone they can genuinely get along with. He sees Tootie as weird and embodying the qualities boys find “icky” in girls. It would make sense if he grew out of that.

Although at the end of the day I don’t really care who these kids end up with, I JUST want Tootie to be able to have a happy and healthy social life/relationship with a partner when she grows up, and I hate the idea of completely stripping away her “not pretty” qualities before she’s allowed to have that. She’s a fucking lovely little girl who deserves to be herself, and to be weird, and to be happy. That’s my fucking daughter!!! I love her so much!!!

[stitchwraith-stingers]

autistic hazel headcanons because i lost my last post

spoke really late, around 5 years old, since then she hasnt stopped talking, god speed

i shouldnt have to say itsince its so obvious in the show but geology special interest..... i like to imagine she has various really niche hyperfixations (like her hat thing going on) one day she could just pop up next to you and go btw did u know that birds r crazy cool and then the next month shes talking about furneture

and to add to that, it all started when her family went onto some museum exibit and her brother was like ohh rocks r so strange and explained whatever he learned in the...... 8th grade i cant count about them and from that day on

no idea where to put this but she has had bad sleeping problems since forever . she lives off 2 hours of sleep baybe and they r heavenlyyyy... unrelated but the nightmare haver...

not really much sensory issues going on, but she perfers lights off in her room if shes able to

she doesnt like alot of different fabric textures, silk is a 100% no-go for her, she sticks with wool

doesnt like soft fruit (bananas, strawbarries, mangoes, blueberries) and doesnt like most nuts

would hide in the janitors closet when she has a meltdown / shutdown, everyone in the school just kinda accepts it now and always know shes there since where else could she be, she doesnt actually have those often she just had it 3 times and keeps using it as an excuse to talk to coswan

her main stim was rocking back and forth often, but the kids would point it out often and shes trying SO hard to not do it again so they wouldnt stare at her, body stims alot in general but probably doesnt notice it

often makes alottttt of hand gestures when talking and people would repeat those gestures to her

the short term memoryerrrrrr (crock to the future.....tbh same)

has a hard time distinguishing phrases (break a leg, i could eat a horse etc) but is fine with sarcasam

COLLECTOR OF FIDGETS!!!!!! had to sell most of them before leaving for dimmadelphia though :( her faves are tangles, popits are just easier to carry around

probably had a weighted plushie she had everywhere as a kid, i like to imagine it was an elephant

doesnt like strong smells WORST sensory nightmare for her, unfortunatly for her, onions are her fathers comfort food

doesnt like eyecontact, unfortunatly for her, her best friend likes intense eye contact

her family is full of undiagnosed neurodivergents (marcus/angela r autistic4adhd to me) so they probably connect the dots after guzman pulls them aside and goes weve been observing ur daughter and i think you might want to check this out

I CANT FIND THE FUCKING IMAGE NOO but hazel n marcus r basically that one image thats like "sorry mom im gonna be late i have to drop this pebble down a river to see how big the splash it" / "ok but tell me too how deep it is how loud i was etc"

[justatalkingface]

New leaks are out

Izuku loses One for All. The one thing he wanted in life was to be a hero, and we all know Horikoshi wouldn’t let him be one without a Quirk. He got One for All for a year and change and then it just gets taken away from him.

It’s so mean-spirited

*siiiiigh*

This shit. This shit is why I'm reluctant to catch up.

Worst thing is, this has been broadcasted as coming for awhile, because that MHA movie? Hero Rising, or whatever, the one where Izuku hands over OFA? If you believe (random shit I found on the internet) (which... admittedly, seems sus, I'm not sure of the validity) that was apparenlty supposed to be the original ending.

(Never mind that Bakugou only came into prominence after MHA got rolling, so unless he was forking it over to... I don't know, Shigaraki, or Uraraka, or Shoto (... my god, imagine the look on Endeavor's face if his anti-All Might child gained All Might's power and became his defacto heir, that'd be amazing) or something, that's already a different ending than the 'original' ending.)

That said, that rumor seems pretty damn validated now, doesn't it? I really don't get why Hori seems to hate his own character so damn much, because the first couple of chapters he seemed to like him well enough; the narrative respected him, he made sense, there was a steady build up of confidence and ability... and then he just... lost all interest, and just seemed to include him more and more grudgingly every time he showed up.

Considering how often the main character had to show up, it really feels like Hori built quite a grudge over the years. And between how damn hard Izuku has been side lined in every possible way, and how much Bakugou is being thrown into the spotlight, this really isn't surprising, all things considered.

A good deal of manga like to end with 'main character is brought down to normal', and honestly I've never liked it; I can only think of one where it was really done well, where I liked the ending (the main character never wanted it in the first place, he always wanted to be normal), and even in setting it only works because shonen manga in general love the 'secret world hidden from the rest of society' bit, so they can 'retire' gracefully to being a normal person without any issues (beyond probable PTSD), but in MHA they can't even do that, because there isn't a hidden world; Izuku is world famous, and without powers I'd honestly expect some random psycho to revenge kill him to get some fame, like that Ending guy.

(...I hate that that doesn't seem impossible still?)

Moreover, big part of that kind of build up is that the character has grown up, and doesn't need the super powers any more, to save the world from the world ending threat, to live the chunnibyo dream of being special instead of being part of society, but being a hero is a job, a career he can do for most of his life and make money in. The super police are still needed, because as far as I can tell, the overarching problems haven't been resolved at all. Just like how Naruto ended up, status quo is god, and the normal that was once terrible and to be fought against is good and just.

And, of course, he's just going to be happy about it, too, I know he is. That's how this kind of thing goes. He's going to be happy about losing everything he's always wanted, even though his friends (which he only got from being heroes) are still going to be heroes, even though Bakugou is almost certainly going to be number one at this point (speaking of which; whatever happened to the 'this is how I became the greatest hero' bit? Let me guess, he'll be referred to that somewhere, and that'll be it.)

He's going to be happy and content with what he was allowed to have (and even though he'll never be able to truly realize it, it is allowed, it's that Hori will allow him this much), and will never dream of wanting anything more. Just like an abused spouse in a truly fucked up marriage that has accepted that this is the 'best' they're going to ever get.

[bakiuwu]

The Odd Traits Of A Hanma

This is a silly idea that I've decided to turn into a little series, based on a hc of mine that Baki,Jack, and Yujiro all have similar traits due to their Hanma blood, despite all of them being different. This fic is kinda like a case study if you, the reader, were in some type of relationship with one of the three and what odd behaviors you would experience with each Hanma.

The following traits you will experience with each Hanma are:

Staring problems

Unnerving sleeping patterns

Accidental stalking

-------------------------------------------------------

Staring problems:

All Hanmas have staring problems, Hanma's like to stare at someone who their interested in/in love with. Either if it's innocent, unconsciously, or intentional. All three hanma have this issue, but each of them have their own way of displaying this odd behavior ----------------------------------------------------

First Subject

Baki Hanma:

While being with baki, you may experience a habit of him staring at you. maybe while you're reading a book or doing the dishes, you can feel the soft but heavy gaze coming from the less threatening Hanma as he sits in the living room. You're able to sense his eyes following your every movement. At first, you dont mind when he does it. You think it's cute, honestly.

Him being enamored by your very existence of doing the most mundane things. Wanting to watch your every step, It made you feel special in a way. Like his eyes were only made for you. One day, while cleaning in the kitchen, you came up with the idea to stare back at him while he does his usual staring, You put down the dish you were working on and being to stare at your silly boyfriend. You surely thought as soon as you meet his gazed, he'll shyly look away and joke about how you might think hes a weirdo for staring at you so much, ya know something to share a giggle over.............but..........he doesn't look away.

You stare straight at him, and he doesn't even blink....hes just....staring at you with a cute smile. His expression was soft, as like if he was in true bliss. You didn't know how to feel about it, it was cute but also.....creepy. You walk towards him while maintaining eye contact, thinking to yourself "....maybe he unconsciously stares... right?" You get closer to him, His pupils expanding wider as you kneel down to his level. You're now sitting in front of him, only a small space between the two of you. You gulp quietly, "uhm, baki....are you there?" his smile grows wider."Of course I'm here. Where else would I be? he innocently says while leaning closer. You nervously chuckle. " Heh....you sure do love to stare....heh."

Baki continues to stare deeply into your eyes for what felt like an hour. You weren't even sure if he was breathing anymore, making you feel even more unnerve. He slowly wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer to him, "Only at the things that I love," he says softly. He nuzzle his head into the crook of your neck, letting out a small "hmmm."

You slowly return the hug, still not knowing how to feel about this situation. You nervously chuckle to yourself. "......aw.....how um sweet of you baki.....heh". The two of you hug for what felt like a decade, the only sound being your breathing and his heart beating. You realized you needed to pee." Hey, baki?.....I need to use the bathroom." He didn't say anything at first, but he slowly begins to release you from his hug, removing his head from your neck, still staring at you with those big innocent eyes.

"I love y/n," he's says so softly it was almost like a whisper. Your expression softness, despite how odd he's been acting. You take a deep breath and smile softly. He might be a little odd, but he's still your boyfriend. "I love you too, baki." You give him a small kiss on his forehead.

You can tell it caught him off guard. He starts blushing and cheesing like an idiot. You get up and head off to the bathroom, still being able to feel the loving gazed of your cute but odd boyfriend.......Baki Hanma

------------------------------------------------------- In conclusion, baki's staring isn't meant to be creepy.....he just enamored by you and wants to watch your every move.......it's innocent.

In the next part, we will go over how Jack Hanma displays this odd behavior

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for watching a movie as a family without including my dad? Writing it out, I think I know the answer, but this has still been bugging me.

Around Thanksgiving I (30s) visited home. It was also a trip to see for my mom (late 60s) for her birthday, so I was there for a few days longer than a Thanksgiving trip would normally account for. My brother (30s) and his wife (30s) visited for her birthday too. My dad (early 70s) was there as well. They've been married over 30 years. Originally I'd planned to take everybody out to see a movie as a birthday present for my mom...but it turned out there was literally nothing at the theater that my mom was interested in at all. The town is pretty small, and the options were limited. So instead, we started out with a nice dinner, and family board game run-through of a trivia game we all thought we'd have some fun with. My mom ended up winning, which is rare and was not deliberate, and it wrapped the game up way faster than we'd anticipated.

My dad immediately went back into the living room after the game ended, openly a little annoyed that mom had won a trivia game based on something he considers himself the family expert in. He watches old reruns of the show he's seen a million times on a loop every day, and it can be pulling teeth to get him to do anything else. It was just a fluke, but something the rest of us considered a pleasant surprise since none of us had expected she'd win. But he was annoyed. Given that it was still early, Mom suggested we find a movie to watch online, so we could all wind down before bed with something the whole family could enjoy.

Dad said no. Now this feels like important context: I...have a lot of problems with my dad. I love him, but he can be extremely emotionally immature. Downright verbally abusive at times. And very petty. I'm in therapy in no small part due to some of the insecurities he instilled in me over the years. I've worked hard to set basic boundaries with him. He also has multiple medical issues, and I'm pretty sure he has untreated depression and other mental health problems he refuses to acknowledge that contribute to him flying off the handle at a moment's notice. That, combined with the fact that my mom will 100% never, ever leave him, because she was raised in a very specific mindset that she's never been fully able to shake...means my brother and I usually have to grit our teeth when he starts ranting/yelling/complaining during a visit, or we'd just end up ruining the day for our mom. She's done so much for us, and we just wanted her to have a good visit. So, that's what I did for most of the trip. I breathed deep when my dad openly mocked my stutter, and refused to get in a fight about it. I stopped myself from getting visibly upset when he tried to feed my cat table scraps even when I told him the cat needs a special diet. On other days I tried to watch his old shows with him, and ignored the sexist comments he'd make about the female leads, all for the sake of keeping the peace.

But, it was Mom's birthday. And she wanted to watch a movie.

And Dad said no.

He refused to give up his marathon of old westerns from 60 years ago to watch a new movie with his family on the big tv in the living room.

My mom seemed disappointed, so I suggested we watch one on my laptop in the kitchen instead. Without my dad, if he really wanted to watch his show instead. She agreed, and my brother, his wife, my mom and I filed into the kitchen, sat in less-than-comfy chairs, and watched a fantasy heist film that I'd thought they would all enjoy. And they did. My brother was pleasantly surprised at the quality of the movie (I'd already vouched for it being good, none of the others had seen it previously) His wife kept making notes for her dnd campaign. My mom found it hilarious, and liked that some actors from another show she liked were in it.

My dad stayed in the living room, watching his marathon.

Partway through the movie, he came in and asked us what we were watching. We told him, and he passed through the kitchen for something he needed, then said that we were being too loud. More context: the kitchen is right next to the living room, but my dad turns the tv up so loud in there it can get physically painful to be in the room with him. He refuses to get hearing aides, and only recently relented on subtitles. He also has a habit of screaming at anyone who tries to talk for a long time when his shows are on and they're in earshot, even if they're in a different room. We thought he couldn't hear it over his tv, and so when he said something we said sorry and that we'd try to keep it down, but we could already barely hear it through the laptop speakers. We already had subtitles turned on to make sure we didn't miss anything. When we told him that, he got even more annoyed. He asked how we'd like it if he turned the tv up so loud we couldn't understand anything, then proceeded to go into the living room and do just that, just as I was trying to figure out how much more we could lower the volume without losing our whole experience. We called in that we were already turning it down, and he finally turned his volume back down as well. We finished our movie, turning the volume down during action scenes and up during speaking scenes so we could actually hear the dialog. We enjoyed the rest of the film, and then people started getting ready for bed, and my mom went to check on my dad. She told me a few minutes later that he was hurt that we'd watched the movie without him. That he felt left out. I told her that he'd had multiple opportunities to join us, and that is was his choice not to watch with us. And honestly, the fact that he wouldn't give up the real tv for a couple hours so she could have a birthday movie was really upsetting to me.

She still seemed to feel bad that he was left out, and I'm a little worried that he might've sulked for days afterwards, leaving my mom in an even more stressful environment after I left. Am I the asshole for insisting my mom get to watch a movie on her birthday? And would I be the asshole if I told my dad off for what I consider to be extremely selfish behavior?

Also before anyone asks, no, I'm not cutting him off. It's literally impossible to do that without pretty much cutting off my mom as well, and she absolutely doesn't deserve that. And yes, I've offered up my apartment as a place she can stay if she ever needs to. Repeatedly. She hasn't taken me up on it yet.

What are these acronyms?

[blighted-lights]

I want to know your thoughts on an opinion I have. I really hated part of that scene where Megatron and Ravage are talking and Megatron is like, you've seen the worst of the Decepticons. Want to join me? And I really hate this because shouldn't Ravage, as this ultra-loyal Megatron follower and skilled operative, BE and EMBODY the worst of the Decepticons, along with Megatron himself? Was she not there, totally endorsing Megatron back when Megatron was personally training the DJD to be the way they are, something he literally mentioned having done like, one issue before extending this offer?

hiii nonnie!!! thank you so much for the ask!

and i agree, the dialogue in that scene does kind of fit strangely, especially with the assumption that ravage has been close to high command and would theoretically already have seen much of the "worst" parts of the decepticon cause- whether that be the djd themselves, the camps like grindcore, the k-class, the six phasers, the abuse megatron dolls out to the other decepticons, or the genocides of billions of organics. the implication that this is suddenly ravage's first time witnessing the "dark parts" of the decepticon cause IS jarring, especially considering that ravage seems to be completely oblivious to the djd before this arc. to the point where ravage can't even identity the djd's scent on the split lost light, or even recognize the djd's handiwork.

when faced with the bodies left behind on the split lost light, THIS is ravage's reaction:

she's got no idea who did this! none!

as for ravage's opinions on the formation of the djd, i'm kind of split on this. we have zero information on who was involved in the djd's training, who supported it, ect. we have zero proof that ravage was supportive of the djd or even how much she actually knows about them or what they do, and given her reaction above and willingness to distance herself from the rest of the decepticons after witnessing it, i'd argue that she wasn't endorsing him. ravage isn't unaware of the fact that megatron has fucked up- we see her admit this in their first scene together.

ravage calls him a tyrant outright, references what she generously refers to as his "wobbles". she has a very idolized view of him, but it doesn't prevent her from being able to see that he has fucked up. she's just willing to look past his fuck-ups in favor of the idolized version of him she has in her head.

and it is somewhat difficult to pinpoint when this undying loyalty to megatron even started meta-wise, as ravage in prior comics shows no special interest or loyalty to megatron whatsoever. before mtmte, it's always been soundwave she looked to- not megatron. and the megatron ravage endorsed would be a pre-war/early megatron, anyways- long before the formation of the djd. given her reaction to the djd, i VERY much doubt she was in any way supportive of its formation or its practices. but what could she do about it? ravage doesn't have as much agency in comparison to those like soundwave and starscream. none of the cassettes do. though that is a whole different post worth of meta.

BUT! you're fully right. ravage isn't exempt from taking part in what the decepticons have done. i think her role is far more limited than the other big names we know, but it's not like she was kicking her feet off to the sidelines, lol. just because the people around her did much worse doesn't negate the fact that she was just as guilty in the things she was a part of.

this kind of got away from me, but yeah! i agree that the wording in that scene was somewhat odd and this shouldn't of been the first time ravage was faced with the dark parts of the decepticons. UNLESS. these "darker parts" were, for some reason, intentionally kept hidden from ravage in fear that she would leave the decepticons if she knew, which is what we see her do in mtmte. but that feels really unlikely. i really don't think ravage was some big supporter of the djd either, nor would she endorse it or megatron while creating it, but there IS a fair bit of hand-waving ravage does when it comes to what megatron and the decepticons have done in the past. though... that's kinda on-par for mtmte lmao

[junk-story]

Interview Archive 1, 12.1993 - Ongaku to Hito Special Edition

BUCK-TICK is an exceedingly rare sort of band. Although the Band Boom has ended up vanishing as if it never happened at all, in an area totally unrelated to the Boom, where no one else is drawing a crowd, is a group with a unique stance who have continued following their own path of “individuality”. Their stylish visuals have the lingering scent of decadence. Their lyrics, like “I just want to go mad”, are laden with the aesthetics of self-deprecation. And, with “strange” sounds that have absolutely no roots in Western rock, and truly catchy melodies – from any angle, they are a “Japan Original”. Furthermore, although these “nonconformists” have also continued to be a great success commercially, they are still breaking new ground. Although their eerie ambiance is often misunderstood by ordinary people, this unique sensation is something that anyone can have a share of. Sakurai Atsushi reigns with a “negative charisma”, but his absolute desire to escape and narcissism in the sense of “being lenient with oneself” can happen to anyone. I support the weakness of humanity.*

Ichikawa: How do you think BUCK-TICK are seen by ordinary people?

Sakurai: …Maybe...I suppose people who aren’t interested just aren’t interested at all. Because no matter how many times something that doesn’t interest me shows up on TV, that’s where it ends for me.

Ichikawa: Despite your CD sales, you’re passive about this.

Sakurai: Yeah, because there are people who don’t listen to music, so even if I stood face-to-face with such a person and said, “It’s me”, they’ll just be like, “And who are you?” (laughs)

Ichikawa: Conversely, what kind of people do you think listen to BUCK-TICK?

Sakurai: Hmmm...I think a lot of them are daydreamers. (laughs) Even watching the same movies, like Alain Delon1 rather than Jurassic Park. (laughs) When I read the letters I’ve received, that’s the feeling I get.

Ichikawa: What kind of letters do you get most?

Sakurai: In my case, I get everything from the heavy stuff to the light stuff. (laughs)

Ichikawa: What sort of content is in the light letters?

Sakurai: “Your stage outfit was so cool this time”. (laughs)

Ichikawa: And what about the heavy letters?

Sakurai: The heavy ones are incredible, really – like a 21 year old girl who got divorced even though she has a child, or things about their family members, or about how they’re sick. Also, there are many people who write emotional content.

Ichikawa: It’s become Kitaro’s Yokai postal service2, hasn’t it?

Sakurai: Hahaha. But, there’s nothing I’m able to give them...you know.

Ichikawa: Although this idol-like reaction is understandable, is there no “added hidden value” appearing more and more?

Sakurai: Hmmm, I wonder...although I’m making music...music isn’t necessary to living, and you won’t die without it. So I think people who aren’t interested don’t listen to music that deeply, and naturally, they don’t synchronize their listening to the situations I find myself in and my reality. So the band is getting more media exposure, which is supposed to give us more opportunities to be heard, but I wonder…

Ichikawa: But on the other hand, the Yokai Post Box has letters arriving to it frequently, right? Obviously, that’s different from just a popular song and supporting some harmless rock music.

Sakurai: But I expect that the people who are watching idols are definitely greater in number. Because they’re all the same.

Ichikawa: But BUCK-TICK are already big names, and you’ve been reigning on the front lines for 6 years. Naturally, you should be different from them. And hey, if you were part of SMAP3, that would be a problem, wouldn’t it?

Sakurai: Yeah, that would be an issue. (laughs)

Ichikawa: So for example, what do you think people come to see Sakurai Atsushi for at concerts?

Sakurai: I really don’t know...for example, I receive letters saying like, “I want to see more of your humanity4 during the MC sections”, and I think it might be better if I expressed my humanity more. Also, I think the songs I want to sing and the songs people want to hear may be different...I’m always confused.

Ichikawa: You still haven’t gotten a grip on what your stage persona is.

Sakurai: No, if I think about understanding it, it’s easy, but I think hard about it and then it confuses me. I suppose there won’t be any problem if I do everything like an entertainer with a strong sense of providing a service, but.

Ichikawa: Like, “I’m Sakuraiiiiii!”

Sakurai: Wahahahaha.

Ichikawa: What’s an example of a song people are expecting?

Sakurai: Songs like “Speed”, “Jupiter”, or “JUST ONE MORE KISS”, don’t you think?

Ichikawa: And the song you think they’ll dislike?

Sakurai: Taiyou ni Korosareta. (laughs)

Ichikawa: Aah, Sakurai’s song about the thing at the core, the “aesthetics of self-deprecation.” Well, it certainly seems like a song that was written sitting on a hill of despair.

Sakurai: Oh? (laughs) But lately, I’ve received letters saying that Taiyou ni Korosareta was good, so I’ve thought that maybe I’m not as misunderstood as I thought I was.

Ichikawa: So you ought to have more self-confidence, Sakurai.

Sakurai: I should, right. More...not to flatter myself, but I hope I can cross the line to becoming an entertainer.

Ichikawa: Well, I think it’s enough that you’re performing as this “dark entertainer”. What do you think is lacking?

Sakurai: It’s not that something’s lacking...it’s that it’s incomplete.

Ichikawa: Well, then where is something lacking?

Sakurai: Mmm...in my own head. (laughs)

Ichikawa: Oi, come on now.

Sakurai: (laughs) I think it could be anything, but, for example, when I go out in front of 2,000 people, I just don’t get that same high anymore.

Ichikawa: So even though you have this stately and dark look – you don’t even think things like, “These 2,000 people have gathered to come see me!”?

Sakurai: No, I don’t. There can be people who are looking at something else even if they’re directly in front of me. (laughs)

Ichikawa: Aren’t you being narrow-minded about this?

Sakurai: It’s caught my attention. So I stare at a single point and act like an idiot who doesn’t see that sort of reaction to me.

Ichikawa: Wow. First of all, haven’t you ever thought, “I’m popular”?

Sakurai: When they’re screaming, “kyaaaaa!” (laughs)

Ichikawa: A live venue is really a melting pot of those “kyaaa” screams; does that make you feel anxious?

Sakurai: I don’t think it’s anxiety, but...I’m always agonizing5 over if I should take myself less seriously. It’s not only people who are listening to the music and enjoying it; there are also many people enjoying another part of the performance, so I think I should do what I want, but...I’m insecure.

Ichikawa: Have you ever thought about the influence you have?

Sakurai: I have. For example, it’s easy to tell when there are kids wearing the same fashion as I am. Also...I don’t know if this is my influence or not, but...the people who like the same world that I do. They give me these detailed, maniacal (laughs) opinions on things, like, “that musical is really good”, “have you read this novel?”, “you like this type of aesthetic, right?”, “this thing you said in an interview really spoke to me”, like that.

Ichikawa: Fundamentally, is it that the recipients of your work can’t accept Sakurai Atsushi as a real person? With your charisma, it’s like you’re magnified up 5 or 10 times bigger in their minds. And those voices, their expectations are like, “Well, if it’s Sakurai-san, naturally he’ll understand my aesthetic sense.” I think it would be natural to gain some self-confidence from those voiced expectations and support.

Sakurai: It would be better not to betray that sentiment, but when it comes to my own conviction...I think if I can put out more that says, “this is how my world is”, I’ll be able to clearly have that conviction.

Ichikawa: Even with Sakurai having this internal conflict, you’re being seen by ordinary people, other than your fans6, as a so-called “rockstar” now – in your case, you must be feeling the difference of that.

Sakurai: I do. Even people who don’t know music have said, “Ah, it’s that guy” – although I had just come there to have a meal. (laughs) I’m human just the same as a salaryman that’s the same age from that area, so..while I think that about myself, I guess they’re in a position where they can’t see it.

Ichikawa: Even if you don’t want to be considered special, in the first place, rock really must be thought of as “exceptional”. Moreover, being exceptional is the biggest characteristic of BUCK-TICK. Do you not have any awareness that this means you are exceptional?

Sakurai: I’m also very aware of that. It’s both extremes. There are also times where I want to say, “Leave me alone!”, turn my nose up and walk away, but (laughs) that’s also tiring, so there’s the converse argument to be made, too, like, “I’m a human just like you, so leave me alone.”

Ichikawa: Do you think things like, for example, that you could be as self-absorbed with how exceptional you are as Ei-chan7?

Sakurai: …I really do, without everyday life.

Ichikawa: What I’m asking is, can’t you become that way?

Sakurai: I can’t~. I don’t like being interfered with, and I switch Sakurai Atsushi off in those moments. (laughs)

Ichikawa: But there’s David Bowie, who isn’t doing fan service around the clock, but at work...(laughs) As a charismatic person, you can behave as you see fit, right? Although I think you could do it if you tried, you’d always agonize between those two selves.

Sakurai: I wonder why...because I’m afraid of being caught off guard?

Ichikawa: Don’t you think you’re cool?

Sakurai: there are times when I think, “I am super cool”, but there are also times where I think, “What am I doing?!” (laughs) I’m hard on myself, maybe.

Ichikawa: But, it’s simpler8 to think of yourself as cool, isn’t it?

Sakurai, Yes, much simpler. But in order for me to think so, I have to aim for being an entertainer, and I’m no good.

Ichikawa: This orientation you have toward being an entertainer is also being taken too far, actually – it’s like chloroform you breathe in every day until you lose consciousness.

Sakurai: Wahahahaha. That’s harsh!

Ichikawa: Don’t you want to become more arrogant and charismatic?

Sakurai: I really just want to shine within music, if it’s something I’m able to do. Aah...I see...maybe...I’m rebelling against it, aren’t I. Everyone views me as a rockstar, so I wonder if maybe I simply want to betray that notion and rebel against it.

Ichikawa: Does the so-called narcissistic state, where you can think of yourself as cool, not last long? It seems like only the high of not caring what the people around you think lasts, but. (laughs)

Sakurai: It doesn’t really last, no. It’s like...I end up able to see reality. That I’m someone who can go as far as narcissism, but can’t sustain it, I can see that.

Ichikawa: But without narcissism, the fantasy of rock won’t flourish, right? You’re a man who can’t be proactive, aren’t you?

Sakurai: Yeah...but that’s quite kind, because it makes people’s dreams of it expand more and more. I don’t really seem very kind, talking selfishly about my own needs while also saying, “I won’t show you the important parts.”

Ichikawa: If you said more, would it be like, “It’s your fault for coming to love me without my permission”?

Sakurai: (laughs) I wouldn’t say their fault...more like, it’s a waste. If I could be understood even if I didn’t say anything, I’d be extremely happy, because I hate the regret I feel after babbling out an explanation. (laughs)

Ichikawa: Then, explaining yourself to an ordinary person who thinks of you as a rocker must also be miserable.

Sakurai: That’s right. But...lately, my way of thinking about it changes all the time. Sometimes I think, “I’m gonna make that guy who doesn’t know me take another look!”, and other times I think, “It’s no good! I’m tired.” (laughs)

Ichikawa: So then, as I thought, you do think you’re cool, don’t you? If you were to call out to the women on the roadside over there9, you have confidence they’d quickly follow you here, right?

Sakurai: If I wanted to do it. (laughs) But using the energy is more trouble than it’s worth. I think maybe I’m unkind in that way.

Ichikawa: Well, calling out to them isn’t really nice either. (laughs)

Sakurai: Oh. (laughs) But, I’m thinking I want to become less sentimental, colder.

Ichikawa: What’s the reason behind that?

Sakurai: Because I have a heart. Wahahahahaha.

Ichikawa: Well, regardless of some minor occurrences of it, (laughs) Sakurai Atsushi doesn’t have any arrogance, really, in the bigger picture of things.

Sakurai: But I’ve also come to understand that I could be just a bit easier on myself, too. I think I could become cooler if I did.

Ichikawa: As Sakurai, and as BUCK-TICK, too, even though you’re this deeply self-centered person who doesn’t care about the existence of other people at all10, I think gradually it becomes necessary to see yourself objectively. And you have to become aware of the influence you have.

Sakurai: Lately, I’ve been chatting with people who have the same tastes as me, and it’s interesting to see how I can come to see myself when I see those people. While I was drinking in Osaka, a person came and sat down who said, “I can see ghosts” – why, I wonder, is it always that sort of person who comes to me? (laughs) But, it turned to conversation about our newest song, “die”, and they said, “You’re definitely a narcissist”, and I was like, “Ah, right, right, I’d forgotten that, now that you mention it.” The person I show other people is a narcissist; I felt like I’d forgotten.

Ichikawa: In the end, those types of people are the ones who come together under Sakurai with peace of mind, don’t you think?

Sakurai: That’s true. I think the people who are thinking about me must be seeing me with some amazing eyes.11

Ichikawa: Give those “amazing eyes” a response, a spectacular one.

Sakurai: I think it will change during our current tour. (laughs)

Ichikawa: (laughs) With that – BUCK-TICK is a band where the members take walking alone endlessly to the extreme, right? The most of any in Japan.

Sakurai: That’s out of my control. There’s nothing I can do about that.

Ichikawa: And that’s also why you feel like you can’t effectively exert your influence, I imagine.

Sakurai: Hmmm...so, I expect that I’m afraid of cheapening what I do. I just did what I wanted to do, so. (laughs)

Ichikawa: Are you being careful with your words?

Sakurai: You could call it being careful; you could call it cowardice.

Ichikawa: Certainly, in the early years – you may have been perceived as cheap during the pop era of your music where your hair was straight up, but since then, I think conversely, you’re perceived as a luxury good.

Sakurai: Yeah, I think we aren’t perceived as cheap, but I certainly have fear of being thought of that way.

Ichikawa: That’s like an ordinary girl thinking, “Don’t become friends with that person” about a yankii in their same class.

Sakurai: (laughs) Is that so?

Ichikawa: This yankii is stubborn, but in reality, he’s facing the dilemma of wanting to be friends with anyone at all.

Sakurai: Exactly. (laughs) But, I’ve been thinking that from now on, we should harden up more, get colder, and that I hope that those who don’t care about our music don’t bother with it. I hope that those who do care it experience it whenever they get the chance, and that those who don’t, never experience it again.

Ichikawa: Well, but, you’re so cool, so wouldn’t it be better to be more free-spirited?

Sakurai: Hahaha. I’m always overthinking things like that.

Ichikawa: I wonder if that overworrying is part of your personality.

Sakurai: Hmmm...I don’t know. But I’m always thinking about how I want others to enjoy and be happy.

Ichikawa: Even so, there are a lot of ups and downs in everyday life. (laughs)

Sakurai: Hahaha. I may not be handling them so well.

Ichikawa: Well, in the end, trouble always ends up coming about.

Sakurai: And that’s why all you can do is stand your ground, right...or I’m going to act out that pretense. (laughs)

Ichikawa: Have you been acting pretentious lately?

Sakurai: Quite pretentious.

Ichikawa: Anyway, you’ve got a good face for it.

Sakurai: Yeah.

Ichikawa: Oh, an easy agreement on that from this guy.

Sakurai: Fufufufufufu.

Ichikawa: So, if you acted like you owned the place, you could powerfully establish your own world – and moreover, externally, Sakurai is already waiting for it. All that’s left is you feeling like doing it.

Sakurai: ...it’s troublesome, you know.

Ichikawa: You sure are BUCK-TICK’S frontman.

Sakurai: (laughs) I want to have an effective presence that has a detailed edge to it. More than feeling like a big, enveloping presence.

Ichikawa: Aren’t you seeking a long life full of detail?

Sakurai: No way! (laughs) But, lately I’ve realized this. Because I’m using energy on this tour. (laughs) How can I say this...it’s like more...pushing forward the next day while feeling like, “I’m losing it, aren’t I?” (laughs)

Ichikawa: You’re a man predestined to being a paradox.

Sakurai: ...Has this ended up being an unspectacular interview? (laughs)

Ichikawa: Well, even if we sang “Shimauta”12 at karaoke, we didn’t sing “die”, so. (laughs) It’s considered special, you know, definitely.

Sakurai: Even if we’re doing something special, like – I end up feeling like everything is lumped together. I feel like the people who listen to music have become cowards, too. Like the provocation is frightening to them.

Ichikawa: Even though the propagation of provocation is the theme of this band.

Sakurai: Right. And moreover, we’re trying to even out the high and low points of unevenness, and there’s a feeling of something unseen moving.

Ichikawa: When it’s that way, you can only go back to the basics and put your hair straight up again!

Sakurai: Right? Although I wasn’t aware of it during the time my hair was up, that “We are special” thing.

Ichikawa: But I think if you put it up now, you might be able to do it having that awareness.

Sakurai: Imai currently has a mohawk while having that awareness.

Ichikawa: Well then, next will it be Sakurai Atsushi with his hair up?!

Sakurai: When should I put it up...people might say, “It’s uncool!” (laughs) I really don’t want to use my energy on that sort of thing. (laughs)

~~~~~ Footnotes: * This makes more sense as you read the interview - basically, I think he's saying that he argues Sakurai ought to be more lenient with himself. 1 A French movie star. 2 A reference to a manga. Kitaro is a “sullen ghost boy” who “protects others from malicious spirits”. 3 The biggest name in Johnny’s of that time, and still one of their biggest ever. 4 Human-ness? I don’t know a better word for this in English. They want him to emote, talk more, things like that. 5 Very dramatic word choice here – literally “suffering until you faint”. 6 Who are not ordinary people, obviously, lol. 7 Eikichi Yazawa, a big Showa-era rockstar. 8 Simpler in the sense of more comfortable; less work. 9 I wonder if he was actually gesturing to someone, or if this was hypothetical. 10 I think he’s ribbing him here – calling him out on his bullshit. Sakurai is repeatedly trying to say this about himself and then contradicting it. 11 In other words, they are seeing a version of him that he doesn’t believe actually exists. 12 A 1992 song by the band “The Boom”.

~~~~~ Some final translation notes:

I don't know who put the LibreOffice suggestion on my dash, but I used that to type this up this time instead of Google docs, and it seems to have preserved the footnotes (at least on desktop.) I'll try and test this on mobile too but hopefully it's a better experience!

Also, just a basic note on "cool" in Japanese - kakkoii. It's commonly translated as "cool" but really encompasses things like being attractive, sexy, etc. in ways I think the word in English doesn't. I think its usage packs more punch when you think of it that way, as like "heart eyes, motherfucker" cool.

[dearestxiao]

Dear Santa,

I would like some more fucked up/possessive/shockingly sweet Venti HC 🙏

Thank you

warnings: possessive venti, gaslighting and manipulation, abuse of power(?), threats(?), scars from battle, let me know if I'm missing anything!!

ooh my god this took me so long to get out we're almost a week into the new years 😭😭😭. but when I saw this ask I actually screamed thank u sm nonnie. being able to ramble nonsense abt ven is always so fun. these aren't a lot whatsoever but these are some main things I think about with venti. all are random but somewhat related?

he often does performances, whether that be at a tavern/bar or an open mic that are either 'dedicated' to you or a 'special somebody'. even if he doesn't directly say your name, he makes it so obvious that it's about you, his eyes glued onto you the entirety of his show. it's supposed to be a sweet gesture, and it would be, if it wasn't so clearly a way for him to claim you as his, which is only worsened by the fact that you're not. no one would ever believe otherwise though.

in the same vain, if you start romantically seeing someone, or even slightly have interest in anyone, he instantly becomes intensely clingy. you two have barely hung out recently, you two should hang out more! he's been dying to see this live show with you, and there's a new cafe that just opened up, and there's this beautiful meadow nearby that's perfect for a picnic, he pulls out all the works to try to convince you to spend more time with him than anybody else. and trust, if you do spend time with someone else, you'll never hear the end of it. he'll constantly sulk or make you feel insanely guilty, saying anything and everything to make you feel awful.

I think the main thing that would differentiate canon!venti and modern au!venti are their literal powers. given that modern!venti doesn't have a borderline fear-tactic to hold over your head, he instead resorts to manipulating you, especially in ways similar to the headcanon above.

venti is insanely emotionally intelligent. he knows every little thing about you, how your mind ticks and what really pulls at your heart strings. he can't help but use this to his favor. anytime an 'issue' arises between you too, he's quick to put on an award-winning act. of course, if it was what'd he call a genuine problem or a mistake on his behalf, he's quick to apologize and do everything in his power to make amends. but if you're upset about something akin to his clinginess and possessiveness... oh baby, you're getting guilt-tripped.

it doesn't really matter if you're a person who's hard to manipulate or not. venti can break a will. at some point you just wear down and give up.

canon!venti really doesn't like to hold his powers against you (he really loves the thought of you choosing to be with him, even if that choice is... coerced), but if push comes to shove, he does. he would never would never actually use them, but stories about how he acted and what he did back during those days of war are certainly enough to keep you docile. to be fair, he doesn't necessarily need to use them at all. you're far less likely to go against him if you know just what he's capable of. deep down he knows he'd never do anything, but he's so unpredictable that the fear that he could is enough.

I think venti would also definitely use the fact that he's the god of freedom against you, especially as a sort of mind trick. he states that he's the god of freedom, he would never take away your freewill, that goes against everything he stands for! so, the fact that you're with him is clearly your own choice, something of your own doing, and if you truly wanted to, you could've left him at any time you wanted to!

somewhat similarly, I think venti would have a 'thing' for getting you to say certain things. he'll do things like pin you down and say (with a big, toothy smile plastered on his face) that he won't let you out until you admit that you love him, admit that you're his and all his, admit that you would never, ever leave him. he tells you to do it in a lighthearted manner through giggles and grins, but you know that he's serious about never letting you out from underneath his grasp.

also, another few headcanons that doesn't really fit into anything else:

I think another difference between modern au!venti and canon!venti is that modern au!venti is a lot more of a creep. as the god of freedom, canon!venti would, of course, stick to atleast some of his morals and godly obligations. being a yandere doesn't entirely diminish his values, even if he does stretch the limitations of them often. but modern venti is not tied to those morals, so he has no reason to really obide by them. he therefore sees no issue with doing things like going through your room or your items, looking through any notes or journals or diaries you have, laying on your bed or pocketing an item of yours or two.

despite gods likely having insane regenerative powers, I can see venti choosing to keep any and all scars that would've developed throughout his life of serving out duties as a god. they're all so especially jarring because of just how gentle and harmless venti looks in comparison. it serves both as a reminder of his past and all he's been through (something that you would definitely atleast sympathize with) and all he's done, a testament as to how looks can be deceiving and that you should certainly never underestimate him.

[greenhorn-art]

World Champions | Artwork for World Champions by TheDefenestrator by TheDefenestrator, art by Blurb_brain

Fandom: The King's Avatar | 全职高手

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Category: Gen

Words: 71 944

At the end of season 4 of the Glory Pro Alliance, the government finally receives the information it has been waiting for: The other players have caught up. Or, In which Glory has been a government recruitment ploy for remote-piloted mecha operators all along.

About the Book

FONTS: Mundo Serif, Azonix [dafont], Segoe UI Symbol

IMAGES: Illustration by Blurb_brain [AO3]; cover image by NASA ID: 440611 [Rawpixel]; Planet Earth background ID: 6331593 [Rawpixel]; Circuit lines background ID: 3117935 [Rawpixel]; endpapers' image by Eric Eastman [Unsplash]; Swoksaar, Desert Dust, Lord Grim, Vaccaria, and Cloud Piercer [The King's Avatar Wikia]

MATERIALS: regular printer paper (8.5"x11", 96 bright, 20lb), 80pt bookboard, Iris Bookcloth (colour: Black Pearl), Neenah cardstock (8.5"x11", bright white, 65lb), waxed linen thread (white, 30/3 size), embroidery floss (shades 3750, 350, 3845, 370), leather cording (1.9mm diameter), Reeves’ acrylic paint (Mars Black, Phthalo Blue, Titanum White), Americana acrylic paint (glow in the dark), ph neutral pva glue (Books by Hand)

PROGRAMS USED: Typeset in Affinity Publisher, cover/title page/endpapers designed in Affinity Designer/Photo, QR codes generated with LibreOffice Writer, PDF arranged for printing with Bookbinder-JS

BINDING STYLE: quarto, case bound (slightly rounded, with oxford hollow, forgot to use tapes)

.

Fenes' "Glory's tech isn't handwaved" AU. This was great! Funny and creative, and I'm both amazed and full of admiration for Fenes' ability to juggle so many characters.

I was feeling excited and ambitious with this one. Tried some new fun things (double core endbands, painted edges) and used some new equipment (a lying press).

The Text

TITLE/HEADINGS FONT: Azonix says 'SciFi' to me, it's a bold, non-serif, sleek font.

BODY FONT: Mundo Serif, it's a decent serif body font I haven't used before. Felt like it worked with Azonix.

SCENE BREAKS: a special character in Segoe UI Symbol of a black & white icon of Earth, the globe showing Asia.

TYPESETTING: Finished typesetting the fic, left document open on my laptop, laptop's battery failed, file now crashes immediately upon reopening, issue persists with copied versions of file (；￣Д￣) . Thankfully I had a backup file for the typeset with the barebones of the text, so I didn't have to restart from scratch...

Title Page

My thinking: it takes place in space, the world's at stake, and it's the dawn of a new horizon for Earth. Glory and the titular champions are represented by Swoksaar, Desert Dust, Lord Grim, Vaccaria, and Cloud Piercer – the captains of what I'd call the 'big 5' teams. A circuitry board background element hints at the tech/mecha nature of the story's competition. It may not match Blurb's art, but I hope I was able to convey some of what the story is about.

The circuitry image is used as decoration throughout the book. I only used the avatars of the top five teams' captains because too many silhouettes would lessen their impact and readability. (Removing the backgrounds was tedious, but worth it.)

Here's what it should have looked like. The test prints for this and the BB art were fine, but I think my inkjet started running out of ink just when I printed the final copies and I didn't reprint them. (Too impatient, really wanted to finish up and read the book)

The Cover

World Champions is another Big Bang fic, and once again I based some of my design choices off of the accompanying artwork. The dominant colours of Blurb_brain's illustration are red and blue-green.

COVER PAPER: For the decorative cover material I used NASA's ASTER image of Poyang Lake. NASA has some really interesting photography some of which remind me of marbled paper, thought it could be interesting. I chose this image of Poyang Lake because 1) it's in China, 2) the colours were similar to Blurb's awesome illustration (fate strikes again, dropping matching images and artwork into my lap!), and 3) NASA is tangentially relevant to the fic, which takes place in space.

BOOKCLOTH: Verona bookcloth in the shade Black Pearl, a lovely dark navy blue colour. Thought it suited the cover paper and title page. (Bought it for this fic specifically, but the colour goes well with almost all of my decorative papers so it should see a lot of use in the future!)

Endpapers

The final decision that held this project at a standstill for two months. In the end I drew inspiration from the matchups against the final opponent in the story. The image I used is a little chaotic and a little too unrelated to identify why I picked it without an explanation, but this book is for me and I know why, so there. (Note that I played around with the colours and cropped the photo.)

Endpaper inspiration: the maps for the matches against the Infilhites

"a long bridge through an enormous tube-like hall, where light seem to come from every side through stained glass windows. It was visually confusing, limited lateral motion" "a warehouse, crates stacked on and beside metal racks that went all the way to the ceiling." "a house of mirrors, fully enclosed to be sure the Infhillte couldn’t fly out of it." "like a volcano, rivers of lava moving sluggishly down a slope, occasional vents of overheated air nearby." "a series of overlapping bridges between halls and stairways, level after level layered over an open abyss."

Trimming & Painting the Edges

Going all out, a 2-for1 deal: the opportunity to use my lying press for the first time and learn a new technique!

TRIMMING: Used a paring chisel and lying press.

CHISEL: The 1.25" wide paring chisel I used was form a modern manufacturer. (Vintage paring chisels are very thin, enough so that you can bend/flex the blade. But don't do that.) It's long and wide blade made it easier to register against the surface of the press for consistent cuts. Looks like this one below from Lee Valley.

LYING PRESS: My dad's project. Solid black walnut, hand carved screws and internal threads — he even made the tools to make the threads too! The jaws of the press are each 3 7/8" wide. It's big and heavy (though much smaller than full-sized professional ones omg), but there's enough of a flat surface to register the chisel against. A thicc boi, much like this one below from Bookbinding Supplies.

PAINTED EDGES: The idea was to have dark navy edges, speckled with white stars. I used acrylic from a tube to paint the edges — tutorials recommended it over liquid bottled acrylic, and I had an old set hanging around. Had to water it down because otherwise the paint just flaked off.

My test of trimming and painting went well. Then the trimmed book itself came out slightly crooked, the paint required significantly more watering-down than before, and the white paint did not want to be both opaque and speckle-able. Unfortunate, but still book-shaped! And now I have an idea of what to do differently next time.

Also, did not like the glow-in-the-dark paint. Looked too translucent in the light when compared to the white acrylic, and needed a thicker coat to be visible in the dark. (The thickness combined with the translucence and base colour kinda reminded me of boogers... Ended up scrapping most of it off, so there's not much left to glow.)

Endbands

Still in the mood to have fun and go all-out, I attempted double-core endbands for the first time.

TUTORIAL: YouTube @ BookbindersChronicle: Bookbinding 101 Sewing Headbands Session 2. Also watched @ DAS Bookbinding's Double-Core Endband // Adventures in Bookbinding, but I personally found Chronicle's closeup video easier to follow.

I used embroidery floss from a 100pk of assorted colours off Amazon, wrapped around a core of 1.9mm leather cording from Michaels. I drew from Blurb_brain's art for the general colours, choosing a dark base, with red, blue-green, and gold. The specific shades were picked to go with the cover.

[puhpandas]

So for a writing prompt,

Vanessa meeting an ex gf/bf (whatever u want) at a supermarket. While Gregory and Freddy just listen to the tea or have shenanigans around the supermarket.

Ghosted

(915 words)

"Can I have some gushers?"

Vanessa clicks her tongue. "You already have captain crunch in the buggie."

Gregory frowns, and looks longingly at the the package when they pass the shelf it's on. "But..."

Vanessa rolls her eyes. "Why dont you get some broccoli or something? Brussel sprouts?"

Gregory pauses, and gives her a long, hard stare.

"Alright then." She says simply. "Shouldnt you want to eat healthily? You didnt exactly have a very good diet on the streets."

"Isnt that exactly why I should get to have the gushers?" Gregory counters when Vanessa picks off some tortilla chips and cheese dip off of the shelf. "I deserve them!"

Vanessa sighs, and turns to see Gregory using his unnaturally big eyes to his advantage.

"Surely Gregory should be able to have a special treat or two, Vanessa." Freddy says from behind Gregory, muffled by his backpack.

Vanessa sputters. "You're on his side?"

Freddy hums. "I just think that Gregory has a point, that is all."

Vanessa rolls her eyes, and turns the buggie back around with a sigh. "Shouldn't you of all people be advocating for eating your veggies?" She points out.

"Eating some sugary gummies does not equal not eating your vegetables, Vanessa. As long as you keep a balanced diet, indulging in unhealthy snacks is no issue--"

"Yeah, yeah." She cuts him off, and rolls the buggie to a stop in front of some fruit snacks.

"You can have some fruit gummies." She says, and points at a two-pack box of Welch's fruit snacks. "Not the gushers. You can have those next time, when you haven't already picked out an unhealthy snack."

Gregory huffs, but he takes the box anyway and puts it in the buggie.

"Better than nothing." Gregory says, then smiles. "Thanks."

Vanessa smiles back, and leans on the buggie. At least those are healthier than sugary fruit gushers. And Gregory seems happy. Maybe she isnt so crap at this.

The pleasant moment is cut off by a familiar voice behind her.

"Vanessa?" A woman asks, and Vanessa jumps, turning around. "Is that you?"

Oh. Vanessa thinks when she realizes who it is. Oh, no.

"So it really is you." Olivia says, voice unimpressed. "You really had me worried, Vanessa, I mean, what was I supposed to think?"

Gregory is silent beside her, watching the exchange with wide eyes. Vanessa sputters, avoiding eye contact.

"I-- Um-- Listen Olivia I--"

"Dont." Olivia says. "I dont want an apology. I just wish that you would have just told me you weren't interested instead of ghosting me."

Gregory makes a face beside her, eyes wide and mouth open in a small O, and he looks way too into it.

"I--" Vanessa tries, but she cuts herself off. 'I'm sorry, Olivia. I really was interested in you, but a crazy robot using the face of a decades old serial killer took over my mind and forced me to cut off any contact with all other people to complete his evil deeds!' Is what she wants to say, but being seen as a bitch seems like a better option than being seen as an insane freak.

So she just stays silent, and Olivia scoffs, looking insulted.

"Nothing to say to that, huh?" Olivia says, a sour look on her face. "Fine, see if I care. I just hope the next girl to start talking to you doesn't get far enough to be heartbroken like I was."

And with that, Olivia turns and walks briskly away, her brown hair flipping sassily over her shoulder and trailing behind her like a tailcoat.

Its completely silent except for the general milling about of people around them and beeps from self checkout scanners for a moment. Then, she finally tears her eyes away from the spot Olivia walked away from her and looks down when she sees movement.

Gregory looks like something hilarious just occured, and he looks up at her gleefully when she makes eye contact with him.

She rolls her eyes when he starts laughing, and she huffs, eyes dead set in front of her as she tries to push the buggie to get away from him.

"Who was that, Vanessa?" Freddy asks from behind Gregory, who's clumsily following behind her and almost bumping into people and their carts from how hard hes laughing. Vanessa tries not to let her mood sour too much.

"Olivia." She answers. "She was my..." She tries to find the right words. "...we were talking, and were about to start dating, but then..."

She trails off, and Freddy hums and looks at her sympathetically from Gregory's backpack. "I understand, Vanessa. You do not have to continue."

"That was awesome." Gregory finally refills his lungs after almost busting one laughing too hard at her relationship failure. "The drama. It was too good!"

"I'm glad you like my misery, brat." She says, rolling her eyes.

He just has another short burst of laughs, and then tries to quiet down. "I did like it. Very much. Why cant that happen <i>all</i> the time?"

"Because usually," Vanessa says. "I dont ghost people because I had my brain hijacked."

Gregory giggles. "Oh man, i knew people were obsessed with drama but i never knew it was this funny." He says, then tugs on Vanessa's shirt. "Hey, you gotta start a reality show with me soon, alright?"

Vanessa rolls her eyes, but she just ruffles Gregory's hair, and a small smile appears on her face.

"Sure, squirt. Whatever you say."

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