#i want those sexy lumberjacks together

[shybluebirdninja]

Beard Wars

Summary: Logan’s been growing out his beard, and you’re starting to suspect it might be a little too attached to his face. Now it’s become a silent standoff between you, his beard, and the world’s dullest scissors.

Pairing            : Logan Howlett x Wife!Reader

Genre              : Fluff

You’d seen Logan do a lot of wild stuff in your time together. The man fought in wars, took bullets like mosquito bites, and still had the nerve to complain about your cooking. But nothing—nothing—had prepared you for the unholy battle brewing in your bathroom.

It had been growing… and growing. Logan’s beard, that is. The thing had practically taken on a life of its own. And sure, when it first started, it was rugged. Hot, even. You loved the whole “wild lumberjack with claws” look. But after a couple months, the beard went from sexy to Sasquatch. Now it was long enough to braid… if you dared.

You stood there, glaring at Logan as he sat on the couch, legs kicked up, flipping through channels like he didn’t have a forest attached to his chin. You crossed your arms. “Logan.”

“Hmm?”

“We gotta talk about it.”

He didn’t even look at you. “Talk about what?”

“The beard.”

He glanced up over the remote, raising one bushy eyebrow. “What about it?”

“Babe.” You gestured to his face. “It’s gotten out of control. It’s like… you’re turning into Chewbacca.”

Logan shrugged, clearly not giving a single shit. “What? It’s fine.”

“Fine? Logan, it’s a beard. Not a security blanket.” You shook your head. “I swear, it’s like you’re afraid of trimming it.”

He smirked, clearly enjoying himself. “Afraid? Nah. Just like the way it looks.”

You sighed, rubbing your temples. “Babe, it’s started curling up at the ends. It looks like a goddamn villain’s mustache from a silent film. I’m half-expecting you to tie me to train tracks next.”

Logan huffed and stretched his legs. “What do you want me to do? Cut it?”

“Yes! Just… trim it. Before it starts forming opinions and voting in elections.”

“Good one,” he muttered, still flipping through the channels. “But nah. I like it.”

You knew this was going to be harder than you thought. This wasn’t a normal beard. This was Logan’s pride. His stupid, stubborn pride wrapped around his jaw like a fuzzy security blanket. You didn’t have claws or mutant powers, but damn it, you had scissors. And a dream.

Later that evening, you were standing in front of the bathroom mirror, practicing your technique. You held up the scissors and snipped the air a few times. Yeah, you had this. Stealth, precision, quick reflexes—you’d get him in his sleep.

You glanced down at the pair of dull scissors in your hand, suddenly wondering if maybe this wasn’t the smartest plan. Those things couldn’t cut through paper, let alone Logan’s adamantium-grade beard.

“Whatcha doin’ in there?” Logan’s voice echoed from the living room, suspicious.

“Uh, nothing!” You quickly shoved the scissors into the drawer and tried to look innocent. “Just, uh, brushing my teeth.”

“Mmhmm.” He didn’t believe you for a second.

That night, you waited. Logan fell asleep on the couch, a beer bottle balanced on his chest. You crept up, scissors in hand, moving like a ninja. The beard was right there—so close. One good snip, and you could at least tame that beast.

But the moment the scissors touched one hair, Logan’s hand shot out, catching your wrist. His eyes opened lazily. “What the hell do you think you’re doin’, darlin’?”

You froze, caught red-handed. “Um… grooming?”

Logan sat up, still holding your wrist with that annoyingly strong grip. “We talkin’ dog grooming or attempted murder?”

You sighed, defeated. “Logan, c’mon. It’s gotta go.”

He grinned, clearly enjoying the hell out of this. “You really think you can take this thing down with those weak-ass scissors? Good luck, babe.”

You pouted, yanking your wrist free. “You can’t live like this forever. You look like a damn mountain man.”

“That’s the point.”

“What, you gonna move to the woods and start living off the land?”

Logan chuckled, getting up from the couch. “Might not be such a bad idea. Get away from all this.” He waved a hand around like civilization was an inconvenience he had to endure.

“Okay, Thoreau,” you muttered, “but can we at least compromise? A little trim? Just a bit so you don’t look like a cryptid?”

Logan thought about it for a second, rubbing his chin. “Alright. You get one inch. One. Any more, and you’re losin’ a hand.”

You blinked. “That’s not exactly what I meant by compromise, but I’ll take it.”

The next morning, Logan sat in the kitchen, grudgingly handing you a pair of sharper scissors. “Make it quick.”

You grinned like you’d won the lottery. “I promise it’ll be painless.”

“You better hope so.”

You gingerly reached for the beard, Logan’s eyes watching you like a hawk. The tension was thick—one wrong move, and you knew it’d be war.

Snip. You took off just enough to make a difference, but not enough to piss him off. He grunted but didn’t complain. Snip, snip. A couple more careful cuts, and you stepped back, admiring your handiwork.

Logan rubbed his chin, inspecting it in the mirror. “Not bad.”

“See? Didn’t kill you.”

“Yet.”

You laughed, putting the scissors down. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

Logan stood up, stretching. “Maybe. But at least now I won’t get mistaken for Bigfoot at the grocery store.”

You smirked. “Who knew the Wolverine could be such a drama queen about a beard?”

He growled, but this time, you could see the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Don’t push it, babe. Next time you come near me with those scissors, you might lose an eye.”

“Noted.” You gave him a playful wink. “But seriously, thanks for not letting it grow legs and walk off on its own.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, grabbing his jacket. “Now let’s get outta here before you try to cut somethin’ else.”

As he headed for the door, you couldn’t resist one last comment. “Don’t worry, the hair on your head is next.”

Logan shot you a look over his shoulder. “Don’t. Even. Think about it.”

[creedslove]

Hey honey!

I see you’re taking Halloween requests and I was thinking about Joel and what he would do after nobody shows up to your Halloween party (house is decorated, even put on a tiny and cute witch costume) and everyone cancels last minute but him 🥰😇

Happened to me today but minus Joel ofc. I’m a bit down because of it but maybe cute idea?

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: ohh no, I'm so sorry about that 🥺 I really hope your friends cancelled for a good reason at least, I'm sorry if it's not happening anymore baby, I would have loved to go to your party if I could though ❤️

• Joel wasn't really a big fan of Halloween parties

• or parties as a whole

• but you were and he was glad to help you through the week, as your excitement was absolutely adorable and he could see how much effort you actually put into it all

• so he helped you sort the snacks and finger foods you would serve, along with the drinks he should buy, the decoration you picked and how he set everything up

• he isn't a costume guy, but he told you he would dress up as a lumberjack so you would be happy, which you did, even if you knew he would actually just throw a flannel shirt and call it a costume, you were excited because he looked damn hot in a flannel shirt

• and he couldn't help but become a mix of aroused and mesmerized the moment he saw you in a cute witch costume; on one hand you looked very adorable, on the other hand you looked so fucking sexy all he could think of was you riding his cock in nothing but your fishnets, knee high boots and witch hat

• but as he got closer while carrying a bag of ice he frowned when he saw your upset face

"what happened, baby girl?"

"they all cancelled..."

• Joel was so pissed to hear your friends had all cancelled; he'd watched how excited you were during days and how carefully you'd planned everything and those motherfuckers couldn't even give you a time of the day and show up? Or perhaps do the right thing and let you know they weren't coming in advance?

• however, he didn't want to make things worse for you, even if you shrugged it off and began putting the decoration down, he could tell you were disappointed and he wasn't letting you just be without your party

• so he asks you to calm down and he calls Tommy and Sarah, tells them to come over and bring a couple of friends

• and when you realize, there's a party starting at your place, Tommy and his girlfriend Maria, Sarah and a couple of her girl friends all there complimenting your decoration and dancing to your playlist

• Joel takes you by the waist and tells you it ain't much but he figured you would enjoy a small family get together, and your heart race when he subtly tells you you are family

• he dances with you and makes sure to remind you how beautiful you are and how cool your party is

• and he also likes to open the door for the trick or treaters and hand them candy

• later at night, he sends Sarah home with her uncle Tommy and takes the opportunity to finally have you riding his cock in nothing but your boots and your witch hat

• he wants to make you feel good sexually as well, and he doesn't let you go sleep without cumming a few times

• as you snuggle against him, you is kind of glad none of your stupid friends showed up, as you both had a smaller and intimate party and he got to spend more time with the woman he loves

____

[switchy-bastard]

2, 14, 17 😘

Thank you for the ask!

🥺🥺🥺

2. What is your most extreme kink, and why do you like it?

So much of the stress in my life comes from making decisions. I like kinks that completely remove my ability to choose (hypnosis, intoxication, somnophilia, other forms of consentual non-consent etc.) because I want someone to want me so badly that they don't care what I want, they're going to take what they want from me, and if I feel pleasure from it, well, that's secondary 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

14. Do you have an outfit that makes you feel sexy? If so, describe it.

When we say "outfit" here, do we mean something that I'd wear in public, or something I'd wear just in the metaphorical bedroom? For the former, I've got some shirts that are starting to get tight around the sleeves, which is a nice feeling, and everyone looks good in flannel. Probably a combination of those, where I take off the flannel after splitting some firewood, revealing the tight t-shirt beneath, so I can keep working without overheating? Idk if anyone else still finds lumberjacks hot, but I do! 🪵🪓

For the latter, well... I've got 40 feet of this dark blue rope, which is enough to tie any of a few different types of harnesses with slack left over for use as handcuffs/a leash, and I think my swimsuit area looks best in boxer briefs, since they hug my ass and bulge fairly well. I've gotten kind reviews in the past, when I wore those two items together 😅

17. What is your favourite nsfw compliment to receive?

Honestly? I know it's kind of a basic answer, but my brain short-circuits whenever someone calls me a "good boy". Doubly so if they make it possessive: "my good boy" 🥺🫠😵‍💫

I just like to be reassured that I'm doing well for my partner(s), and that what I'm doing is appreciated 😅

[davidaltofsky]

porcelainxxx1x1​:

@davidaltofsky​ continues from here:

Whereas they very well could spend long hours during the night, or day, doing nothing else than to sex each other up in every possible and plausible way, it was also nice to be able to spend time like they were at that moment, laying together, even while being naked, having a snack and simply having a light conversation about simple, but important things about their life together, such as planning some due vacation time. A shiver went down his spine when Trevor practically growled in his ear like that, the image of what he was describing suddenly taking shape in his mind. 

“Hm… The idea of you, with your tight jeans and no shirt chopping wood shouldn’t get me this riled up as it does, and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you, or at the very least bend over that pile of wood- heh- with my bare ass in the air, so you can fuck the life out of me… That sounds like a great way to spend our vacation, doesn’t it?” he said, then winked at him playfully. “But… How about we throw a camper in this idea? You know, something to carry us around whenever we want, and you still get to be my sexy-as-fuck lumberjack…?” His trailed the curves on Trevor’s abs with his fingertips and hummed.

Trevor couldn’t help but blush just a little as he enjoyed Kurt’s flirty whispers, licking his lips just a little bit as his firm muscular stomach was tenderly touched by his partner. “Hmm, someone has clearly been thinking about this for a while” he whispered back with a teasing grin, flexing his abs as Kurt’s finger’s slipped over them “A camper sounds fun, getting to go around and see a lot more... do wicked things to my angelic man in as many states as I possibly can” he whispered cheekily, kissing against Kurt’s flawless jawline as held him close “I’ll make sure to bring my tightest jeans just for woodcutting for you... you now the ones, the ones that cling to my big butt, the ones that hand just barely onto the top of my cheeks so they just barely poke out... just those, no underwear, all sweaty just for you” he whispered between slow sensual kisses.

His hand slowly slipped down to run over Kurt’s hip as he held the man close, unable to resist just pressing kiss after kiss against the man’s neck and jaw. After a moment he looked down to notice the sheet barely draped over him was tenting as his lover’s touch excited him “I think we might have found the perfect idea for the both of us for a holiday... definitely got me excited about it” he teased, his voice low and playful as could be “You always get me excited for things Kurt... you’re pretty damn amazing that way”

[buckymilf]

this steve with this bucky:

[twopoppies]

Hi!! What are your personal favourite fics ever ? And could u do a list of your fav deleted fics? I think I really just need new fics to read Haha Xx

Oh, I love that question. Okay, I already have a list of Favorite Fics, but here are my fave deleted ones:

Into The Blue by Zarah5 (E, 117K) honestly, I love all of this author’s fics, but I think this is my favorite of theirs. Louis as a flirty scuba instructor? Newly single Harry who just wants a fling? Boys living on other sides of the world who only have a few weeks together? Heartbreak. Hot af smut. OT5 friendship. Please….give me all that shit.

Pull Me Under by zarah5 (E, 140K) One of the very first fics I read when I came into this fandom…and I’ve read it multiple times since. Zarah’s fics hold up every time. This one has it all, great pacing, ot5 friendship, banter, super sexy smut, etc etc. Plus, Louis being super jealous of Harry’s best friend.

to hell with romancing by bottomlinsons (E, 8K) This is worth reading for Harry’s internal monologue alone. This is just a funny fic that morphs into a sweet and really sexy one.

Dream Awake by protagonist_m (M, 31K) beautifully written, this one pulled me in and I got lost in the story so deeply. It’s one of those fics that really deserved a wider audience.

pretty in pink by hereforlou (E, 6K) I love this author’s writing and they give suck a realistic portrait of an established relationship in this one: Harry is whiny and needy. Louis is indulgent and loving. The whole thing is very sexy.

into joy i’m sailing by hereforlou (E, 5K) This fic is so tender and soft and sexy. The whole idea behind the fic was just something that felt very real and so fully realized.

This is cheating, but I honestly love so many of hereforlou’s fics, so here are all the ones I have.

feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream by togetherwecouldbealright (M, 123K) I read this one so, so long ago that all I remember is that I loved it, that there’s some really romantic and sweet moments, and that my notes from way back when only say, “OMG this one is so good! And I’ve barely gotten to the smut!” HAHAHAHA!

Good Enough to Eat by objectlesson (E, 7K) This author always does such a good job with depicting young, queer love and the way their characters experience the overwhelm of realizing they’re not straight, realizing the’ve met their Person, pining, and giving in. I love a lot of their fics, but I think this is my favorite of them. However, I highly recommend looking through all of them.

as he that sleeps here swims by Acavall (M, 23K) This was one of the very first fics I read in the fandom way back in 2013. It’s sweet and charming and a little melancholy (happy ending of course). Harry’s a ghost, there’s a little magic involved, and there’s a sweet 8K epilogue, as well.

In Vogue by otpforever (M, 121K) This one is just….so much. The intensity of the characters, the crazy hot smut (oh god, the window scene), the FASHION, the angst (I had to take a walk around the block after reading it), the epic love story between two men who could rule the world if they could just figure their shit out. Loved it.

like a boomerang by youwill (M, 48K) Very loosely based on the movie Groundhog’s Day (essentially just the concept of reliving a day over and over), this fic is delightful and charming and really worth a read.

Take Care Down By The Water by shyserious (M, 37K) Not quite mermaids, but oh my goodness I loved this fic. Magical realism, mythical creatures, dreamy/moody atmosphere, beautiful writing.

Where Your Heart Is by tvshow_addict (E, 154K) One of my all-time favorite fics and an absolute must read IMO. Chock full of hurt/comfort (both emotionally and physically), this fic is so moving and so beautiful and will take you on an emotional roller coaster ride from start to finish.

The Road Less Travelled by freetheankles E, 98K) Also known as “the lumberjack fic”, this fic is an instant classic. The author makes widowed Louis’ pain and depression so real and so moving. The characters are three-dimensional and complex and the well written sexual tension is finally relieved with super hot smut.

You Always Make Me Smile by champagneboyband (E, 60K, WIP) Yes, it’s a WIP. I’m listing it because the hope that someday it will be updated gives me the will to live. But also because even as a WIP this fic has everything I love. The characters are multi-faceted, the sexual chemistry is off the charts, the background story is complex enough to give the story numerous possibilities for angst and everything else. WHY MUST IT REMAIN A WIP???

something so precious about this by champagneboyband (E, 4K) this is just endearing and awkward and so well written. I love how much you get a sense of their connection and their inexperience and how much they care for each other in just a few thousand words.

I have lots more that I haven’t read, but of the ones I have, these are my faves. You can also check my DELETED FICS tag for more or search my blog for an author’s name. If someone has asked for their fics, it will be tagged.

[stories-about-cheating-women]

Casper the cum-filled ghost

It is Friday night and josh is getting ready for the Halloween party at his girlfriend’s sorority house. Josh always disliked the large parties Sara’s sorority threw; they are full of drunk dudes trying to prove their manliness and fuck anything that moves. It doesn’t help that Sara’s sorority sisters are some of the most.. slutty girls on campus, for lack of a more polite term. Josh always hated how guys would lump Sara into the group of sorority sluts just by the letters on her little jacket. And guys were always staring at her as she bounces around campus in her sorority mandated short skirts. Josh couldn’t blame them, though. Sara was blessed with a body of a fertility goddess: long legs, thick thighs, a full bubble butt, slim waist, large boobs, and wavy red hair.

As Josh stared at himself in the mirror, he can’t help but worry about tonight. His costume is a baggy ghost costume that Sara sewed for him out of a white bed sheet. Josh mumbles to himself “ugh I look like Casper the socially awkward ghost.” Sara quickly walks up behind him and gives him a firm hug around the waist. “Don’t worry about tonight, babe! Your costume looks super cute, and we will look so adorable with our scooby-doo theme. I make a very sexy Velma, If I do say so myself.” Sara was right, she looks amazingly sexy, as usual. Josh looks her up and down and says “ I Don’t know, Sara, are you sure Velma would show that much… everything? Those guys are gonna see you as a piece of meat to sink their teeth into as soon as possible!”

Sara puts on a pouty face and stares into Josh’s eyes as she runs her finger up and down his chest “But babyyy- all the other girls are wearing sexy costumes. I don’t want to be the only prude there! They will bully me for weeks!” Her hand starts to work its way down Josh’s torso and into his pants. “I may even be inclined to give you a special gift, if you are a good boy tonight. hehe” Her hand grasps his soft dick and starts to slowly move back and forward. Josh begins to moan and says “Babe, that’s no fair! You know I can’t say no to you like this.” Sara looks up at him and coyly says “Then don’t.”

The party

As Josh and Sara walk down from Sara’s room, the music grown louder and louder. There are already a handful of guys from the frats hanging out and drinking with Sara’s sorority sister. The guys are dressed in all sorts of half assed costumes such as lumberjack with no shirt on, fireman with no shirt on, and professor with a cutoff tee-shirt. This is exactly what Josh was trying to avoid. Of course, the girls are eating the costumes up. Its just because they have muscles, Josh thinks to himself. Soon Sara notices a guy she has class with and runs over to talk to him. She turns her head to Josh as she is walking away and says “Hey babe, I know that guy from statistics, I’m gonna go say hi! Why don’t you mingle with the other guys?”

Josh watches with an uneasy feeling in his stomach as Sara salters over to some guy and grabs his arm as she starts to laugh. The guy is wearing a similar costume to Josh. A ghost costume, with the arms cut off, of course. Josh walks over to the other guys and grabs a beer. “Hey man. Is that your girl?” one of the bros asks. “Yea that’s Sara. My girlfriend.” The group whistles and nods in approval. “I didn’t know the girls in this sorority were allowed to have boyfriends haha. With all the party responsibilities and all that.” Josh does not like the sound of that. He knew the sorority had a bad reputation for having lose women, but not that everyone in the frats knew too. Josh swallows hard and replies “Oh yea. Well Sara isn’t like the other girls. She just likes to have fun and hang out with her friends.” The guy motions over to Sara and says “Oh like she is having fun with that guy right now? Haha good luck, bro. Steve is a player if I’ve ever seen one.” Josh’s stomach drops even further as he looks over to see Sara on some dude’s shoulders being spun around in circles… Her skirt is WAY too short for that.

As Josh begins to walk over to Sara to ask her what she is doing, Amanda, Sara’s friend, stops him. “Hey Josh, can you help us move some boxes? They are really heavy and we need a big strong guy to handle them! Pleassseeee.” Josh tries to object, but Amanda is already pulling him into the basement stairway. As he looks back he can see the group of guys he was standing with try and get a good look up Sara’s skirt, but they can’t look long as the guy begins to walk off with her towards the kegs. Fuck. “Hey Amanda, who is that guy Sara is with now?” Amanda looks back at him and smiles “Ow that is Steve! He is so cool. He helps us around the house when anything breaks. He is such a manly man. hehe he also helps a few of the girls out in another way, if you know what I mean.” She says slyly. Josh is confused “You mean like… tutoring services?” Amanda looks at him blankly “No silly. Now take these boxes of beer upstairs for me please! Thanks, hun!” and she scampers up the stairs. Josh sighs.

As Sara sees Amanda lead Josh down the stairs, she quickly turns to Steve and says “Alright baby, its time you show me what my friends have been talking about for the last month! I’m very… curious. Hehe” As Sara moves Steve into the kitchen, away from the crowd, she glances down eagerly to his crotch. Steve looks her up and down and then says “hmm well it won’t be much to look at until its hard so… I don’t know what to do about that.” Sara looks him in the eyes and slowly smiles. She moves over to the counter and pretends to reach for something in a shelf high up. Clearly, she cannot reach, so she looks back at Steve and says “A little help please.” Here words dripping in sensuality. As Steve comes up behind Sara, she pushes her ass into his crotch and begins gyrating her hips back and forward. She can feel a large mass begin to press into her firm ass. After a minute of this, Sara hears a familiar voice out in the living room. It is Josh asking where to put the boxes from downstairs. Sara then hears Amanda tell him to bring them into the kitchen.

Josh walks into the kitchen carrying a large box of beer and sets it on the floor with a large grunt. Steve speaks up “Hey buddy, those look a little heavy for you. Do you need a hand with that?” Josh looks up and sees Sara and Steve standing together by the counter. “Umm no they aren’t too heavy for me, but thanks. What are you guys doing?” Sara says “Oh we were just.. looking for cups for the guests. But they were too high up, so I had to get Steve to reach for me.” Josh looks at Steve suspiciously but eventually states that he needs to get the rest of the heavy beers from the basement and walks out.

As soon as Josh leaves, Sara looks at Steve and asks “So, is it ready for me to have a look now?” Steve chuckles and reaches down to his pants, under the cloth of the ghost costume, and zips open his pants. He then grabs the base of his dick and pulls the fabric on the costume taunt. Sara’s mouth drops open. Steve has what looks like a giant, extra thick dildo hidden under his costume. Sara gasps “O.M.G… that can not be real!” Steve seems to like her reaction “Oh its real alright. Just ask Amanda.” Sara growls “there is no way that dumb bimbo is gonna keep this all to herself.” And, with that, she drops to her knees and craws under the ghost costume. As Sara looks up, she is met with the biggest dick she has seen in her life, even watching porn. Suddenly Steve hears a “Holy fucking shit” come from under his costume, and he can’t help but smile.

Soon Steve feels a warm hand grasp the base of his thick cock, followed by a pair of moist lips at the tip. Steve moans and says “Careful babe, it’s been a day or two since I drained these balls. Go easy on me.” Sara notices that each of his balls are big enough to fill her hands. What Sara heard was ‘please suck my soul out of my cock’ and that is exactly what she does. She grasps the monster cock with both hands, and there is still enough room for two more hands to fit. Sara begins to slowly force the bulbous head into her tiny mouth. After a few effortful grunts, the large head squeezes past her plump lips and POPs into her mouth. Steve shutters as he can feel Sara’s moans on his cock head. Slowly, more and more cock is forced into Sara’s tiny mouth and suddenly they can both feel the monster bump into the back of Sara’s tight throat. Sara is trying her best to fit Steve’s big cock into her throat, but she is out of practice due to Josh’s below average dick never making it this far. She gags and slobbers on Steve’s member, but to no avail.

As Josh begins to enter the kitchen with his second case of beer, he is relieved to see Steve standing alone. “Hey man. Did you see where Sara ran off to? I have a few more cases to bring up, but then I want to hang out with her some.” Steve looks at Josh for a second before answering. “Hmm yea.. last I saw her was a minute or two ago. I’ll tell her you are looking for her though.” Josh looks around and then replies “Ok. Thanks man. Hey, can you get me a cup from the cabinet too? I think I need some beer after all this heavy lifting.” And he slaps the case of beer he just brought up. Steve begins to lean to the cabinet, but then he realizes he cannot get close enough with his dick and Sara in the way. Steve decides the only way to keep things inconspicuous is to slowly lean into the cabinet, pushing Sara into the base of the cabinet. Once she is pressed up against the drawers, Steve can almost reach the cups, but he is still about a half a foot away.

Josh takes this opportunity to point out that Steve is being weird “Umm why are you moving so slow? Is this some sort of joke? Whatever, I can just get the cup myself.” Steve replies “No! No, I’m sorry I was just thinking about something else. Here I’ll get it.” And with that he leans forward and forces the remaining half a foot of cock into Sara’s throat, directly in front of her unsuspecting boyfriend. Underneath the ghost costume, Sara has tears running down the side of her face as she fights back the urge to gag and cough. Her nails are digging into Steve’s thighs as she squeezes them for all she is worth. Finally, Steve has the cup in his hand and leans back to give it to Josh “Here you go. Sorry I got distracted there for a second.” Josh takes the cup and says “No problem. Thanks.” And he walks out of the kitchen.

Once Sara hears Josh leave, she begins to have an unbelievably strong orgasm. She starts to shake and moan, and Steve feels all of this through his rock-hard cock. Sara’s orgasm pushes Steve over the edge. His bulging sack pulls up against his cock and Sara feels the monster in her throat begin to swell even larger. The first shot of cum forces its way up through the cock, and Sara can feel her tongue be forced down by the expanding cum vein. Soon She feels a warm sensation filling her throat. This happens two more time before Sara notices the warm feeling is filling her stomach now too. She begins to pull back, but Steve notices and places his hands firmly against the back of her head. “You aren’t getting off that easy, slut. I told you I was backed up!” and with that Steve forces Sara’s chin up against his pulsing balls and continues to fill her with his cum. All Sara can do is count the pulses of cum being unloaded into her stomach. Five, six, seven, … ten, eleven, twelve, … and they finally begin to tamper off around twenty.

Steve lets out a heavy sigh as he feels his balls relax and his cock begins to soften. He releases Sara’s head and she slowly falls backwards, the monster cock sliding out of her mouth like a sick version of the never-ending handkerchiefs magic trick. Once a foot of cock is outside Sara’s mouth, another POP is heard as the fat cockhead is forced from her mouth. Sara collapses on the floor in a quivering pile. She is still cumming. Once she regains her senses, she reaches down to her once tight and toned tummy to find a bulging cum filled belly. Steve puts his cock back into his pants and sighs “Oh Sara… what am I goanna do with you now? I can’t leave you here for Josh to find.” Steve reaches down and picks her up over his shoulder, like earlier, and he begins to carry her up to her room. Steve cant help but notice the stream of girl cum running down Sara’s legs.. he may need to address that shortly.

[lucifers-favorite-pen]

How The Obey Me Brothers Would Do in a “The Forest” AU

Fandom: Obey me

Pairings: None

Warnings: Swearing, idiocy, mild gore

The Forest was just released for the new Oculus headset, and Levi could NOT pass up this opportunity. However, it’s just his luck he got his hands on a cursed copy of the game, and ended up sucking the House of Lamentation into the game! Here’s how our favorite boys faired in the universe of “The Forest”

Lucifer:

Is pissed.

Bitches about it heavily

Is irritated that he has to find and wrangle a digital son now as well as his siblings. 

Would definitely help everyone else build a little shelter before nightfall, but would be grumbling about how much work he has to do at home and how far behind this would put him. 

Doesn’t let MC lift a finger and is 100% a mother hen the whole time. 

Seems inconvenienced by the whole cannibal thing, until he realizes magic doesn’t exist here and he has to use his melee fighting skills to kill them. Skills that are a little rusty...

Teams up with Beel to be the camp dads and take care of everyone

Super paranoid about the stability of the walls and the house at the beginning

Dies from eating a poisonous berry. He didn’t know he could be affected by poison in this game.

Over all, does his best to keep everyone alive, and feels really bad when someone dies. 

No longer feels bad when he learns that the worst thing that happens is you lose all your stuff and you respawn. 

A solid 7/10 job. Probably dies a few times due to someone else being an idiot, but is a pretty good survivalist when push comes to shove. 

Mammon:

Is also pissed

He was in the middle of counting the grimm from his latest modeling gig when he was sucked into the game.

Bitches and moans with/at Lucifer, but tries to build and maintain a shelter.

Who’s Timmy?

I don’t think crows exist in the game, but seagulls do and they all land on his fingers and he makes friends with them.

Is very upset when one of his brothers kills a bird for food or to simply carry around its head as a trophy. 

Sees cannibals and tries to trade with them with the grimm he has in his pockets.

Dies on sight.

Now when he sees or hears cannibals he screams and cowers behind MC 

When they go away or the screaming stops, he stands up straight and dusts off his jacket “Psh, I wasn’t afraid! I was trying to comfort you from behind! YOU were the one afraid”

After a while in the game, he gets his shit together and honestly kinda kills it. 

This is the avatar of greed, you know he is going to gather and horde so many valuable resources and then guard them with his life. 

“Mammon I’m hurt please stop hissing at me and let me have the medicine bottle”

*hiss* “You can have ONE pill and ONE pill only”

Over all, the definition of “They had us in the first half ngl”

8/10 for managing the group’s food and resource stores so well and only dying a fuck ton of times. 

Levi

...oops?

Feels quite guilty, but is also secretly pumped to immerse himself in the game.

Was extremely skilled at this game IRL and tries to explain how it works to everyone else, but they’re all so pissed and no one’s listening.

“That’s fine, who would want to listen to a yucky otaku like me anyway!” 

Magic doesn’t exist here, but that doesn’t stop Levi from yeeting himself into the ocean and turning into a giant sea monster while his brothers complete the game. 

They don’t want his help? They don’t want to know that the cannibals can’t swim and that they’ll be safer if they build a boat and live in a boathouse on the water? Fine. Then Perish <3

That goes for Timmy too, fuck that kid. 

Doesn’t want MC to suffer tho, so he’ll kill a few sharks and throw them up over the wall with his tail. (I’m assuming that if the game is released for Oculus Rift that they will get their shit together and also make sharks edible)

Is having a grand time taking over the ocean. 

Will sometimes go to shore to visit MC. Everyone is confused as to where he has been and how he is thriving. He just smiles and jumps back in the water.

10/10 strats. Never once dies. Tells everyone what they were doing wrong and how they could have had it easier when they beat the game and are back IRL out of spite.

Satan

Angy

Is throwing things in their spots while building the shelter, but is still helping

Spawns in with the book he was reading in his hand.

That book is eventually stolen from his grasp in the night and used as kindling for the fire.

Lucifer explains that if he didn’t steal his book they all would have died. 

Satan does not give a fuck

“Use the kid’s stupid fucking drawings you dipshit!”

“I can’t they’re story items!”

Goes on a rampage and kills so many deer, effectively feeding the group for a week.  

Sees the cannibals for the first time and thinks “same” 

Pretty good fighter and pretty resourceful when it comes to making armor and weapons. 

Outfits MC with the all of his prototypes and tells them to go run at a tree

“How do you feel, MC?”

“Like I ran at a tree with a deer skin on my chest”

“Interesting”

Very upset at the whole no magic thing, but will work with it.

Over all, 7/10 job. Dies a couple times from cannibals and the other monsters, but makes it to the end.

Asmo

Oh dear. 

Oh dear this sweet summer child. 

“Why are we looking for this child when he’s so ugly?”

Is distraught and so very upset this is happening to him. Cries variations of “woe is me” for the first five hours of game play

Does not help build a shelter

Does not help gather food and resources

Does not help period. Only whines. 

Sees cannibals sprinting and jumping towards the shelter and pushes Lucifer in front of him

“Take him! I’m too pretty to die!”

“HEY!”

What follows after the first three days is a slow decent into madness. 

Ends up butt ass naked for the majority of the game because the clothes he spawned in with were ripped to shreds and “No animal skin clothing in this world is good enough to adorn my perfect body”

Starts speaking to the animals and becomes friends with all of them like a Disney Princess. 

The animals come to his aid when he lets out a specific shriek that calls them to his side.

Spends his time weaving flower crowns for MC, his brothers, and his animal friends. 

Everyone knows he’s snapped when Beel brings back the dead body of a cannibal and Asmo dips his dirty little finger into an open wound and wipes the blood on his lips. 

“I just love this shade! Don’t you?” 

5/10 job. Dies multiple times from trying to befriend hostile animals, but also has an army of woodland creatures at his disposal by the end of the game.

Beel

Bro you know this mans is about to make this game his bitch

Spawns in with a cheeseburger.

Eats the cheeseburger.

“I have a son?”

“I HAVE A SON :D”

“Where is my son?”

Honestly the thought of Beel in this game is so sexy like I’m simping so hard rn 

Grab your water skins and buckle up bc it’s about to get thirsty up in here y’all

A shirt? Beel doesn’t know what those are anymore

He crafts one of those shoulder harnesses out of hide and bone and sticks a bone shiv thing on the forearm 

Don’t mess with this demon when his dinner and his family is on the line.

Is not afraid of anything except the death of his loved ones.

Cannibals? Nah, dinner.

Other monsters? Nah, dinner. 

Full shirtless lumberjack mode with Lucifer, and later Mammon, when cutting down trees in the forest. MC is drooling. 

Definitely makes a game out of how many trees they can all chop down before giving up.

Plays knuckle bones with Belphie and MC using real knuckle bones. 

Doesn’t want to share his food with the others but will if they didn’t get anything to eat that day. 

Chef Beel. That’s it that’s the post. 

10/10 job. Only dies once throwing his body over Belphie’s sleeping one to save him. 

Get’s annoyed when he finds out Belphie was fake sleeping

Very sexy. Would watch. 

Belphie

Nah dude no thanks 

Alexa play “Wake Me Up When September Ends”

Alexa play “Billie Jean”

“And the kid is not my son”

Get’s so fucking pissed when he finds out he can’t sleep without everyone else deciding to sleep too so he just lays down with his eyes closed and hopes for the best.

Doesn’t help with anything unless someone asks him to

Even then he’ll roll his eyes like brat and slowly do it

An actual sloth

No like he clings to MC and Beel like a sleepy sloth 100% of the time

He can’t find any cows and is sad so he settles for the local deer instead. 

Fake sleeps through most of the whole thing, paying monster and cannibals alike absolutely no mind. Beel will take care of it.

Freaks the fuck out when Beel dies on top of him and goes into a rage and kills everything in sight. 

Very sweet reunion when he realizes that they just respawn.

No longer pays death any mind and continues fake sleeping. 

0/10. Virtually useless. 

Masterpost

[dickwheelie]

*appears again* jonah and hector talking about hector’s apparently numerous scars pls👀

ohhh I really liked this prompt, thank you, Moss!

no specific spoilers here, all the stuff about the scars is made up, I have no idea how well it fits in canon. please enjoy!

_____________

They were in Hector's tent, tangled together intimately, though not as intimately as they had been a few minutes prior. They spoke in low, quiet voices, for it seemed wrong to disturb the night, and those that lurked in its shadows.

"I used to dream about a guy like you, you know," Jonah said, and Hector glanced up.

"What d'you mean?"

"When I was young. I'd have daydreams about this big, strong, lumberjack-looking fella, burly and hairy and . . . you get the picture. I had so many fantasies about being carried away by a guy like that." He winked at Hector. "Or riding away on his motorcycle."

"Well, now," Hector said gruffly. He was often gruff when he was trying to hide his affection.

"For a while," Jonah went on, "I wasn't sure if I wanted to kiss that guy, or be that guy." He huffed a laugh. "Guess it turned out to be both."

"You got the second one, at least," said Hector, eyeing Jonah appreciatively.

"Did I?" Jonah looked down at his bare torso, or at least the parts that Hector wasn't draped over. "Didn't think I was ever tall enough. And I got flab in all the wrong places."

Hector hummed his disagreement. "I don't know about you, but that's how I like my lumberjacks. Short and fat and handsome as hell."

"You old softie," Jonah said, and kissed his brow. "And look at that. Guess I did get to kiss the guy of my dreams, after all."

Hector rolled his eyes. "Sure."

"I mean it," said Jonah. "You're a helluva catch, Hec."

"Nah. I'm just an old, messed-up guy with a motorcycle." Hector sat up, moving out of Jonah's arms. Without thinking, he ran his hands over each other, feeling the old nicks and pockmarks that sat between the lines of his palms. There was an itch that had started on his back, as it always did when he remembered his scars.

Jonah was rising to meet him, his brow furrowed. "Alright there?"

"Fine," said Hector, staring at his hands.

"Don't seem fine," Jonah murmured.

Slowly, giving him time to move away, Jonah reached for Hector's hands, taking them gently in his own. Hector put up no resistance as Jonah ran his hands over his, feeling the scars with careful consideration. Jonah's hands were covered in callouses and imperfections, but they were different from Hector's, which was partly why he was fond of them. Now, Jonah's rough edges caught on his, not painfully, but just enough so that they felt real.

"You don't have to tell me," Jonah said at length, "but I'm curious. Where'd you get these?"

Hector shook his head. "I don't mind. It was a long time ago. One of my first jobs, back--hell, I was still pretty much a kid. A dumb kid. I messed with some people I shouldn't have messed with. Got shot at. Didn't get hit, not that time, but the buckshot got all over my hands." He flexed them in the air, and huffed a laugh. "At the time I thought I'd never feel anything that painful again. Like I said, dumb kid."

"God," said Jonah, sympathetically.

"Actually getting shot was worse." Instinctively, Hector put his hand to his lower back, where his bullet wound was. "I was a little older, still too young, though. I got cocky, so I got shot."

Jonah was hovering at the hem of Hector's shirt. "Can I . . . ?"

Hector gave him a puzzled look. "If you want to," he said, slowly.

Jonah carefully lifted his shirt a few inches, revealing the sunburst scar that, decades ago, had nearly cost Hector a kidney. Behind him, Hector heard Jonah's breath hitch.

"I know," Hector said, "ugly thing, huh."

"I don't know about that," Jonah said. "Looks kinda pretty to me."

"Shut up," said Hector, with a laugh.

"I mean it. Reminds me of a sunflower."

Hector had to stop himself from laughing aloud. Leave it to Jonah to see something so fanciful in a bullet wound. "Well," he said, "if you like that, you'll love what the rest of my back looks like."

He let Jonah slowly remove his shirt entirely. The cold night air hit his bare skin abrasively, but Hector didn't move as Jonah examined the numerous clawmarks that littered his back, his fingers ghosting over them. It tickled a bit, but again, there was no pain.

"Werewolves?" Jonah guessed.

"Mean ones," said Hector. "Not my fault, that time. I was just minding my business when they ambushed my camp. My only crime was being out in the woods during a full moon. Which, huh, guess I should've known better then, too."

He felt Jonah press a kiss, gently, over one of the scars. "Maybe you should've known better then," he said, "but at least you know better now. You got these scars to remind you. And to make you look sexy."

Despite the chill night air, Hector felt his face grow warm, and he let out an embarrassed laugh. "I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm not gonna argue with you, either, Jones."

"That's fair," said Jonah, moving back around so they were face-to-face. "Give me a kiss, instead."

Hector was glad to.

"There's the old, messed-up guy with a motorcycle of my dreams," Jonah said, when they moved apart. He had placed a calloused hand over Hector's bullet scar, and was holding him there, almost protectively.

"And there's that short, fat lumberjack of mine," Hector said, grinning, as Jonah laughed into the quiet night air.

[holylulusworld]

Togetherness (2)

Summary: Two years after the people returned from the blip you find yourself searching for your purpose in life.

Pairing: Nomad!Steve x Reader

Warnings: angst, isolation, touch starvation, comforting, fluff, smut, unprotected sex, cuddling & snuggling, lies, ‘only one bed’ trope, bed sharing

A/N: Not endgame compliant. Post End-Game

A/N2: Sequel to Solitude

Solitude masterlist

The first night you spend at Steve’s cabin or rather his house was excruciatingly awkward. There was only one bed - of course, there was only one bed while you had to share a house with Captain America himself.

Gentleman, he is Steve offered to sleep on the couch in his living room, but you refused to let a tall man like Steve sleep on the couch. You offered to sleep on the couch instead which Steve refused to let you do, explaining when the fire dies it might get too cold for you.

In the end, you decided to share the huge bed. 

The first night you woke to his arm draped over your waist, followed by his arms wrapped tightly around your body and his chest pressed to your back. 

Not that you would complain to feel Steve’s body pressed against yours, not at all, but when you wake in the middle of the night, wrapped in a tight embrace your first reaction is to scramble away.

Steve mumbled in his sleep, buried his nose into your hair and you gave up fighting his embrace when you felt his lips press against your neck. 

You never mentioned he kissed your neck or that you could feel his erection. Hell, you were turned on when he mumbled your name.

This is how you ended up in Steve’s arms, pressed to his chest, his chin resting on top of your head. He cuddles you like a koala, not letting go of you until you wiggle to use the bathroom.

Now almost a month later you are used to getting dragged to Steve’s side on the bed to get cuddled as his life depends on it.

Tonight, he rolled you on top of him to hold you in his arms. It feels more intimate and you can’t help it. Your hand reaches out for his face to gently caress his cheek.

“You know, you’re a sexy lumberjack, Captain Rogers.” Giggling you crane your neck to peck his chin. “I wonder how your lips would feel on mine, Steve. Are those lips soft or rough?”

“I don’t know, just try…” Steve whispers and you shriek, startled as said man is wide awake, a boner in his sweatpants. “Take what you want.”

“What I want…” Straddling Steve’s lap you press your hands to his chest. 

For a heartbeat or two, you hesitate. But then you meet Steve’s darkened eyes and the shirt your stole from him drops to the floor. Chilly air hits your breasts and your nipples stiffen, not only from the cool air but Steve’s gaze.

His tongue darts out when he reaches out to cup your tits. “You’re so beautiful, doll.” He is kneading your tender flesh with rough hands, pinching your nipples and you cry out when he sits up to wrap his lips around one tender bud.

“Steve…please…it’s been so long.” His hands find their way to your back, sliding down your body to fists your panties. He is looking up at you, waiting for your consent before the fabric ends up destroyed on the floor.

“Gonna make you feel so good, Y/N.” Cupping the back of your neck Steve brings you to his greedy mouth.

The first kiss is slow, deliberate but it turns into something hungry, more demanding when you slowly grind against his impressive erection.

“Please, Stevie…” Your fingers slide through his hair, fisting hard when Steve starts to guide you up and down his length. “I want you inside…please.”

“I got no condoms…” Purring the words against your lips Steve pants heavily, barely able to hold back the need to just flip you onto your back. “I am on birth control; got a shot before I started the adventure of getting lost…”

“Doll…” Voice lower Steve purrs the pet name before he flips you over.

In a split-second, his sweatpants end up on the floor and he settles between your legs. “Can I fill you up, mark you…?”

Shuddering at the way Steve moans your name and his lips traveling along your neck you nod eagerly. Your hands grasp for his biceps, nails biting deep into his flesh when you watch him hover over you.

“Steve…” Sliding your hands down his chest, looking up at him with wide eyes and parted lips you watch Steve line himself up. He does not hesitate. One forceful snap of his hips fills you completely.

Running your nails down his chest, mewling loudly you watch the usually charming ‘boy next door’ turn into a wild man, gripping your thighs to force your legs around his waist.

You never felt that full before, that stuffed and your toes curl only by feeling Steve slide back out. “Fuck, doll. You’re so tight.”

“It’s been…oh god…Steve!” He’s bracing himself on his forearms, pumping slowly into you. Steve is testing your limit, trying not to go too hard with the first thrusts. “…a while.”

“How long?” Nipping at your lips Steve finds a rhythm taking your voice from you. All he presses out of you are moans, screams, and meaningless words. 

“I…oh—Steve. I lost my husband, so five years or more. When he came back, he was…please lets just…” Your hands paw at Steve’s back when he digs his knees into the mattress, forcing his cock faster into you.

“You’re mine…only mine now.” Possessively Steve grabs your wrists to pin you to the mattress. He’s pushing and pulling, pushing and pulling until your eyes roll back.

You never minded a bit dominance in the bedroom, even liked it and Steve Rogers screams, alpha.

“Steve, you’re so…ah—fuck me.” Toes curling you look up at Steve who watches your tits jerk with every harsh thrust. “I am gonna…”

“Cum for me, doll. I want to feel your pussy choke me.” Unlike the golden boy, Steve takes you apart like the man he became. “I feel it…” Body succumbing to Steve you press the soles of your feet into his lower back.

Pleasure fills your senses, your back arches, and the last thing you feel is Steve’s lips on yours and his cum filling you.

Sighing deeply you fall back onto the pillow, nervously glancing up at Steve who didn’t pull out or move.

He looks you all over. The bliss on your face let him smile and you chuckle when he buries his face into your neck, sighing as you did moments ago.

“It’s been a while for me too, Y/N.”

“If I recall right, it’s been almost six years. When he came back, my husband was different. He didn’t want to touch me and I let him be believing he’ll need more time.”

Running your fingers through Steve’s hair you push the tears away. “One day I came back from work only to find him in our bed with that woman he met at a meeting for ‘returners’.”

“I am sorry, doll.” Humming you close your eyes, just enjoying the afterglow. “You’re too precious for such a fool…”

Month two you spent mostly with christen the bed, or the couch, or any surface in Steve’s house. He’s a passionate lover, a caring man and, you have to admit, the best roommate you ever had.

“So…what did you do before I crashed into your life?” Curling onto Steve’s lap you rest your head onto his chest. “Anything exciting?”

“I liked to watch the sunset, tried to fish and sometimes I just ran through the woods to get as much fresh air as possible. I love the scent of the trees mixed with earth and wilderness.”

Humming you wrap your arms around Steve, wondering what will happen when the snow finally melts.

“Why did you do before you ended up here with me in the middle of nowhere?” Silence fills the room while you recall your life before Steve. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“I liked my job, you know. It was nothing special, but I helped people after the blip to find jobs, a place to be, or just someone to talk to. When everyone came back I believed I can do the same for the returners but oddly, no one wanted our help. 

It was as if we switched places with the returned people. The ones who did not get dusted became unimportant and suddenly, I found myself without my husband, job, and hope. 

I…I just rented a storage room, quit my apartment, and was ready to go on this trip through wilderness only to end up in Steve Roger's arms.” Giggling you look up at Steve.

“Good thing I have two strong arms to keep you safe and pinned to the bed.” Smirking Steve dips his head to capture your lips in a soft kiss. “How about I get us more firewood before more snow comes? I heard there will be a blizzard.”

“Do we have enough food and water? What about electricity, Steve? I don’t want to sound like a scared kid, but I don’t like darkness and cold that much.” Steve wraps his arms around you, cradling you for a while.

“I got canned food for like a year, dried meat, enough water, and firewood. If electricity will fail, I got an emergency generator. I am prepared for anything, even an attack.” Nodding you snuggle into Steve’s chest, trusting the man you know for only two months with your life.

“I know, Captain.”

“Hmmm…now let me get firewood and look at the snow. Maybe there is any sign of your friend the wolf too.” Cockily grinning at you Steve huffs when you slap his chest. “Just saying, he seemed to be into you.”

“I already got a wolf in my bed. Last night he almost ate me alive.” Steve smirks at the memory of you completely worn out underneath him. “You even purred.”

“You turn me into a wild wolf, doll. Now stop distracting your Captain and let him take care of you, baby. I want to keep you save and happy.”

Steve is still splitting wood when you hear someone call his name. Steve seems to be surprised to see the man. Flatten against the wall you peak out of the window on the first floor.

Greeting the man, shaking his hand Steve smiles wildly. “How’s life out here? Do you need anything, Steven? I heard a blizzard is on its way.” The man says and you huff, Steve was right about the weather.

“Yeah, I got all I need. Food, water, enough gasoline, and firewood.” Steve answers. The man nods, smiling again. “I know you are always prepared. Anything else I can do for you than bringing the things from your list?”

List? When did Steve hand that man a list? “I bought everything from the list you hand me three weeks ago. Including ladies’ toiletries.” Now the man smirks, looking up at Steve. “Not that solitary anymore?”

“I got a friend here, I mean…she’s…you know.” Steve stammers and you would find his behavior adorable if not for the lies he told you. “I want her to stay here until the weather is better. The snow and ice are dangerous and…she’s special.”

“Got it, Steven. When you found someone special you want to keep her safe. Best circumstances to win a girl’s heart. Snow, a fireplace, smooth music.” The man laughs, walking with Steve toward his car.

Did Steve know the snow will not stop you from leaving his house? Did he lie to keep you at his house? Why should he do so? Your heart aches remembering the longing in his eyes and the way he touched you anytime he got the chance to.

Steve…he was lonely, touch-starved just like you the whole time. He saw you are the same and believed you could give each other shelter…

“That’s a lot firewood.” Looking at the wood you get up to help Steve to batch it. “Do we need that much?”

“The blizzard is coming, and I don’t know if I’ll make it outside if it’s as bad as I fear. I wanted to be sure we have got enough for two weeks. Maybe I should get more?” Glancing at you wearing only one of his shirts Steve turns to leave the house again.

“Steve, can I ask you something? You know…” Shuffling from one foot to the other your bite your lower lip. “What happens after the snow melted? Do you want me to leave?”

“Doll…I…” Steve drops the firewood to cup your face, shaking his head furiously. 

“I thought about getting my things, you know clothes, memorabilia, and so on when the snow is gone. I just…can I…I mean…” The kiss silences your question and you melt against Steve’s lips.

“I want you to stay with me…here…forever, Y/N.” A bright smile plastered on his face he watches you nod silently. “You’ll stay?”

“I think I like togetherness with you, Captain.” 

“I like it too, doll. Now, more firewood or not?” Shrugging you look at the firewood, not knowing if you’ll need more.

“Did he bring condoms too?” Steve turns pale, his lips quiver when you place your hand onto his heart. “I mean, my shot will not protect me for much longer, Captain. I hope you know we need condoms.”

“I-uh…kinda…have some.” Scratching his beard Steve looks down at you, smiling shyly. “I just like coming inside of you.”

“Well, if you get me pregnant, Captain, it’s your fault, and by the way…” Waltzing toward the wardrobe to get your boots and coat to help Steve to get more wood.

“I grew up where snow and ice ruled the winters. I know when you are snowed in or not…”

>> Part 3

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[katymacsupernatural]

All the Wrong Men

Dean Winchester x Reader

1900 Words

Written For: @spngenrebingo and @spnquotebingo

Squares Filled: Matchmaking (Genre) Quote: I dream about you...Because it’s always you.”

Warnings: None

Summary: It seems like every night it’s a different bar, a different man that Dean pushes in your direction. But why?

The beer bottle felt cool against your lips as you took a sip, surveying the run-down bar. The liquid slid straight down, cooling you down from the heat of the place. The bar was packed, filled with college students, small groups of friends, and lonely singles. It was what Dean probably considered the perfect place. 

“Damn, we need to remember this place,” Dean exclaimed, knocking back the rest of his beer. “The beer is cheap and cold, and there’s plenty of...fish to chose from.”

Winking at you, he slid from the booth, leaving you and Sam to watch as he strode up to the bartender. And of course, he had to stand right next to the prettiest blonde in the entire place. “How does he do it?” You asked your best bud, Sam. setting your empty beer bottle down. “How can he love these places so much, and find the energy to pick up a woman almost every time?”

Sam just shrugged. “Beats me. I’d rather be back at the bunker.”

You had to agree. Your bed at the bunker was calling your name with its memory foam topper and soft sheets. But then again, anything would be better than this smoke-filled joint with creepy guys eyeing you. 

“Hey!” Dean exclaimed, dropping a beer in front of you. “While I was up there talking to Kristie, I saw this guy checking you out.”

“And?” You asked, thinking here you went again. For some reason, Dean had taken it into his head that he needed to set you up with some random man. It had started a couple of weeks ago, and it was driving you crazy.

Dean clinked his beer bottle with yours. “Well, we know that Sammy here is hopeless. He’ll probably head back to the hotel tonight and spend it researching a new case. Me? Kristie already gave me her room number. But why can’t you have a little fun too? And that man, well he looks like he’s ready to have a fun time with you.”

You looked over to where Dean had gestured. Sure enough, a guy was standing off to the side of the bar, his gaze fixated on your chest. He had greasy dark hair, brushed back from his face. His flannel shirt was buttoned too low, and his jeans fit him a little too snug. Not your type at all.

“Um, no thank you,” you answered, drowning the last of the beer. “Sam? Shall we go find ourselves a new case?”

Sam nodded, and just as you slid out of the booth, Dean reached over, grasping your wrist. “Y/N, this life isn’t all about hunting. You need to have some fun too.”

You glanced back over at the towering lumberjack who looked as if he hadn’t bathed in a week. “Nope, not my kind of fun. Thanks though.”

You left the bar, walking beside Sam on the short distance back to the hotel. “But seriously Y/N,” he spoke up minutes later. “Just because we’re hunters doesn’t mean you can’t find someone. Me? I agree with Dean, it could be hopeless. But you...you can have it all.”

You thought about the man you had dreamed about having it all with. The hunting life right alongside the normal. Both intermixing together. It had been your dream for such a long time, but it seemed to grow smaller and smaller with each visit to another nameless bar. “Thanks, Sam. But I’m not sure it’s for me either.”

It was another run-down bar a week later. Another ice-cold beer in your hand, loud country music blaring from the jukebox. Dean was up at the bar, flirting with the petite little redhead sitting up there. Sam had opted to stay back at the hotel, leaving you sitting at the table, watching everyone else. 

Dean turned toward’s you, lifting his beer bottle when the redhead left for the bathroom. He nodded his head towards the end of the bar, where a man sat sipping a glass of wine. Dean winked your way like he was sending you some sort of secret message. And you knew exactly what it was. He was trying to set you up again. This time with a man drinking wine and wearing a salmon-colored polo and khaki pants. His blonde hair was so gelled perfectly in place that you weren’t sure a hurricane would be able to move a strand. He was checking his watch every minute or so, and you shook your head at Dean. No way would you pick this guy.

Dean rolled his eyes, before turning back to the bar, and you turned your attention to your beer, knowing you should have stayed back with Sam. 

Instead of watching the bar scene, you turned your attention to the view outside your window. The cars passing by, the couples meeting up before making their way inside. Wishing for a moment that you had someone sitting with you. To share a beer with, to laugh at the drunk group of college boys attempting to play pool.

“Is this seat taken?” A man asked, and you looked up to see the polo man standing by your table. He had his glass of wine in one hand, your favorite beer in the other. He was handsome, but not your type at all.

“Sorry, was just getting ready to leave,” you told him, standing up and grabbing your coat. “The table’s all yours.”

You could see Dean glaring at you as you left, but you didn’t care. You hated being set up with men, especially ones that you weren’t interested in. 

“Come on Y/N, it will be fun, I swear,” Dean pleaded with you, and you finally gave in. Another town, another monster taken care of. And he wanted to celebrate at another nameless bar. 

Sam stayed back once again, and you ended up sitting at another table, nursing another beer while Dean surveyed the entire place. “Not as busy as I expected,” he mussed, his eyes skimming over the people at the bar. “Still, there’s a couple of prospects. Need a refill?”

You nodded, and he headed to the bar, waving the bartender down. You peered around, wondering who Dean was going to try to set you up with tonight. There were the usual, the habitual drinkers who hugged the shadows. Then the college students, pretending to be better at pool than they were. A couple of lonely people at the bar, and then…

“Y/N?” Your name was called, and you glanced up to see a handsome man standing beside you, two bottles of beer in his hands. He was tall, nearly as tall as Dean. He was lean, but not too skinny, with dark brown wavy hair and grey eyes. He was dressed simply in a henley and a dark pair of jeans. 

“Yeah,” you answered carefully, wondering if you had met him before. 

“I don’t usually do this,” he spoke softly, a southern twang evident in his whiskey smooth voice. “But your friend over there said you could use some company?” 

You could see Dean at the bar, chatting up a plump dark-haired college student. For a moment you thought about sending him on his way and heading back to the hotel. But he seemed nice, and you were lonely for real companionship. “Want to sit down?” You offered, pointing to the seat across from you.

He smiled, relieved that you took him up on his offer, and in a way, you were too. He handed one of the beers over, and you took a sip, letting yourself be open to the chance at something new.

Time passed, and you were having a blast. Trevor was nice and polite, but funny and sexy at the same time. You quickly found out that he had gone to college in Georgia, but was living here in Kansas, working as a vet. 

“And you? What do you do for a living?” He asked you, signaling for another round of beer. Just behind him, you could see Dean sitting at the bar, nursing a glass of whiskey, the dark-haired girl long gone. He had a scowl on his face, probably because he didn’t score. 

“I uh...I travel a lot,” you hedged. 

“I’d like to travel,” he smiled. “Listen, I’ll be right back. Then maybe we can talk about our next move.”

He winked at you before heading back towards the bathroom. Smiling, you sat back in the chair, realizing that maybe Dean’s foolhardy matchmaking had finally paid off. “How’s it going?” Dean asked, taking the seat Trevor had just left, plopping down. He had a deep frown on his face, his mood sour.

“Surprisingly well,” you admitted. “Thank you, Dean.”

“Great. That’s just great,” he muttered, tossing back what was left of his whiskey. 

You were surprised at his attitude. “Dean, I thought you would be happy. After all, you’ve been working so hard lately to set me up.”

“Not for some random dude who just wants to get in your pants,” he muttered, his hand gripping the glass so tight you thought he might crack it. 

“Dean,” you admonished. “Trevor seems like a nice guy. And you’re the one who pushed him my way.”

Dean’s jaw clenched. “Yeah, but that’s because I...well,”

“Spit it out,” You insisted, knowing that Trevor would be back any moment. 

“I kept sending guys your way so you would see that maybe I wasn’t that bad of a choice after all,” he blurted out, and it was not what you had expected at all. 

Your mouth opened, then closed, then opened again. “Say that again. Slowly.”

He rolled his eyes. “Look, I’ve always been attracted to you. And I wasn’t sure you felt the same. So I thought if you saw all these stupid, annoying men, you would realize that maybe the one jerk you knew wasn’t that bad after all. And you’d turn to me.” 

“First of all, you’re not a jerk,” you insisted. “And second of all, why didn’t you just say something?”

He shrugged, looking a little sheepish. “It killed me tonight. Seeing you with him, all happy. I wanted that smile directed at me.”

“What about all those women?” You asked.

“Nothing ever happened,” he assured you. “I tried using them to forget about you. But Y/N, I dream about you. Because it’s always you. Nobody else.”

His words melted your heart. Standing up, you grabbed his hand, ready to pull him out of the bar and back to your room. “What’s going on?” Trevor asked, and you felt a moment of sadness for the guy.

“Early morning tomorrow,” you called over your shoulder, before pushing the door open and pulling Dean through. Before you could climb into the Impala, Dean was pushing your back against it, his breath warm against your skin.

“Wait,” you stopped him. “One more question.”

He rolled his eyes but waited. “So why Trevor? You said you picked stupid, annoying men. What was so wrong with him?”

“I saw his phone. The man’s already married. The asshole,” he answered before his lips were against yours, and thoughts of all other men were gone from your mind.

Dean/Jensen Tags: @acortez82 @acreativelydifferentlove @adoptdontshoppets @a-girl-who-loves-disney @akshi8278   @bi-danvers0  @cap-just-said-language @colette2537   @deansgirl215  @flamencodiva @hamiltrash1411 @its-not-a-tulpa @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @justanotherwinchester @just-another-winchester @karouwinchester @keikoraventeller  @krys198478 @librarygeekery @magssteenkamp @misspygmypie @mlovesstories @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk  @mrspeacem1nusone @nothinbuttrouble2 @ria132love @ruprecht0420  @screechingartisancashbailiff   @sortaathief @superseejay721517 @squirrelnotsam @team-free-will-you-idjiot @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @torn-and-frayed @tricksterdean @wonderfulworldofwinchester @woodworthti666 

Forever Tags: @aditimukul @alexwinchester23 @algud @amanda-teaches @andreaaalove   @artisticpoet @atc74 @be-amaziing @camelotandastronauts @caswinchester2000 @cpag7 @chelsea072498  @closetspngirl @deanwanddamons @docharleythegeekqueen @emoryhemsworth @ericaprice2008  @esoltis280   @foxyjwls007 @gh0stgurl @goldenolaf25 @growningupgeek  @heartislubbingdubbing @heyitscam99 @hobby27 @horsegirly99 @imsuperawkward @internationalmusicteacher @iwriteaboutdean  @jayankles @jensen-gal @justsomedreaming @just-another-busyfangirl @karlee-fay-my-wayward-son @linki-locks11 @littleblue5mcdork  @lowlyapprentice   @mersuperwholocked-lowlife @mogaruke @monkeymcpoopoo @musiclovinchic93  @nanie5   @percussiongirl2017 @plaid-lover-bay25   @roonyxx @ronja-uebrick @roxyspearing  @samanddeanmyheroes @sandlee44 @shamelesslydean @simonsbluee​ @sillesworldofwriting @sgarrett49 @spnbaby-67 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester​ @spnwoman​   @superbadassnatural​ @thatcrazybookwormgeek​   @thewinchesterchronicles​ @vvinch3st3r​  @whimsicalrobots​ @winchester-writes​ @zombiewerewolfqueen​

[those-garsh-darn-homos]

The gays ruined aviators for me.

I was once a man that loved his aviator glasses. Didn’t matter if they were fake reading glasses, sunglasses, old geriatric glasses, homoerotic Top Gun glasses, I loved me some aviators. That was all until I discovered the inner working of gay sex.

It all began one night back in ’87, in the local gay Milwaukee bar that I had been perusing due to grief. It hadn’t been the best year, 3 of my favourite gay icons died, first Liberace, then Andy Warhol, and just as I thought it couldn’t get any worse, Rudolf Hess, gay idol extraordinaire, kicked the fuckin bucket. I was beyond grief stricken from this tragic series of misfortunate events. For these three men to be struck down in their youth for the only crime, of being gay, was a travesty of the highest order. So I found myself at the bottom of a bottle to forget the pain, and also desperate to be stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey, to really get in the mindset of my idols. You see I never got the chance to fornicate with a male, but all these dead guys seemed so happy during their life and I figured it might be the best anti-depressant, so I put on my most effeminate outfit and as Rudolf Hess once said “I’m looking to get some man bussy tonight”. My attempts at getting ploughed were mostly unsuccessful, even after I took a play out of Liberace’s book, and dressed myself like a flamboyant gay lizard that was on the verge of overdosing on poppers. I didn’t put all my eggs in one basket though, some nights I would dress up like a rambunctious oyster, using my curtains as a cape, a clown’s neck ruffle, and more rings than a closeted Italian mob boss. None of these fashion choices worked out in my favour, since Prince hadn’t popularized looking like a bitch yet.

So there I was one night, sitting at the bar wearing a pink feathered coat three sizes too big for me, that I had to poach three dozen flamingo’s to make, when all of a sudden, across the bar, I spot a man in aviators, and my knees began to buckle. His eyes met mine momentarily, and I could feel us using our gay telepathy abilities to communicate with one another, he said to me “I want to eat you in my bathtub” which I just thought was so romantic, I always wanted to be eaten out in a bubble bath, perhaps with some nice rose petals sprinkled on the floor, a magnolia scented candle filling the air with fumes of homosexuality, some Marvin Gaye being played on Vinyl. I picked my glass up and took a seat next to this aviator clad bear. Not only had he aviators covering his eyes, he had a second pair poking out of his shirt’s breast pocket, then I noticed every time he shifted in his seat, that he was sitting on a pair broken aviators in his back pocket, which explained why he was bleeding from the ass. His t-shirt, under his flannel shirt (gay uniform around those parts) had a aviators printed on it. Every detail of this man was perfection, from the aviators on his eyes, to the secret backup aviators in his ankle holster. We introduced ourselves and I discovered his name was Jeffery. It didn’t take long after that, for him to woo me with his charm, saying all kinds of sexy things like, “I’m gonna eat your heart with some gravy” and “I just wanna chop you into itty bitty pieces and gobble you up” I mean I knew I was a snack but, wow. He could see a red blush covering my cheeks every time he waved that smooth tongue of his, and it wasn’t long until he offered to take me back to his place.

When we reached his humble abode, I was met with the stench of death in the air, which I could dig, since he was obviously going for the grizzled Canadian lumberjack look. I took off my flamingo coat and sat on his couch as he fixed us a drink. When he returned with the drink I could smell the familiar scent of rohypnol, and had to request another drink, since rohypnol just didn’t react well with my tummy, or my ass, since every time I had over the years, I would wake up unable to sit down for a week. Jeffery looked confused for a moment, then went to fix me another non-rohypnol flavoured cocktail. After that hiccup we enjoyed our time together, chit chatting about our favourite gay icons, but I didn’t know many of his, Dean Carroll, Jürgen Bartsch, Paul Bateson, Wayne Williams, John Wayne Gacy, but I did have to say, True Grit was a great movie so I understood why he would choose John Wayne to be one of his gay idols.

Somewhere in the middle of our conversation, Jeffery decided to pop the question, of whether we should fornicate, mano a mano. I admitted that I was unfamiliar in the territory of how men might partake in coitus together without a hole to place one’s meat for marinating. Jeffery was very understanding and agreed to show me how gay men achieve sexual gratification, without the presence of a twinkle cave to copulate. It turned out, when you don’t have a punani to poke, intercourse becomes considerably more surgical. Jeffery assured me he was a professional and explained that all he would need along with his wing-wang, was a power drill and some hydrochloric acid. The drill would be used to make a small hole to act as a makeshift snatch in my skull. I was a little apprehensive, but Jeffery asked if I could think of any other hole for him to go all rumpy pumpy on, and I could not for the life of me think of any other way. Just as the drill began to get closer and closer to my forehead, I began to sweat profusely and shake uncontrollably. I didn’t care if Rudolf the Red Nosed Nazi found joy in doing this, it just wasn’t for me, I knew it. Maybe I was a top, all I knew was I just wasn’t cut out for being a submissive bitch, like Prince. I stopped Jeffery and explained that I wasn’t feeling too well and that I should leave, only he handcuffed me and continued the procedure. “what have I got myself into now” is all I could think to myself, of all the guys I could have had my first time with, it had to be an undercover cop. Here I was, in police issue pink fluffy handcuffs, as I was about to have completely normal gay sex for the first time, and then I asked myself why he might be doing this to me, and it was then I made the decision to come clean. “okay it’s true, I whacked off to my Grandma’s bedsheets, I’m guilty” I confessed. Jeffery stopped in his tracks and now he was the one giving me confused looks. I took my opportunity and ran for the door screaming “I’LL NEVER STOP JERKING MY GHERKIN TO GRANNY’S SKID MARKED BRITCHES”. I made my escape with my flamingo coat, but like a woman running away from a psycho killer in a slasher, I had to ditch the heels (Giant flamingo coat in this case) if I had any hopes of escaping with my skull’s hymen intact. Do you know how many families of flamingo’s I had to slaughter to get that fucking coat? It’s gonna take forever to make another one now.

A few weeks passed after that and I started getting a paranoid about whether the police were onto me. I couldn’t take the heat, every time a squad car drove slowly past my house. I could feel my days of freedom slipping away by the minute, and if I was gonna go out, it was going to be on my own terms. I took myself down to the local station and turned myself in. They brought me to an interrogation room to ask me about what crime I committed, and I explained to them that one of their officers had attempted to arrest me a few weeks ago and perform sexual acts on me. When they asked what he did I gave them every detail of the homosexual intercourse procedure and they explained that it wasn’t one of their officers, but instead just an ordinary gay man trying to partake in something called “skull fucking”. They said it was pretty common around these parts and not to worry about it too much and sent me on my way. The weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders as I walked out of that station.

I never did get around to partaking in gay sex after that day, but ever since then, I can’t look at a man in aviators without being reminded of my close call. I instinctively tell anyone I meet wearing aviators “I DON’T WANT TO BE SKULL FUCKED, PLEASE DO NOT GIVE ME ROHYPNOL” before I can move on with interacting with them any further, and it has drove away many of my friends. I really can’t help it, it’s a kneejerk reaction. I never heard much of that Jeffery after that, but if I did meet him, I’d probably bludgeon his head with a rusty pipe, don’t know why, just really want to do exactly that.

[skinks]

first, that ficlet damn near gave me a heart attack because i live in alaska and for some reason seeing references to it in media that isn't vampires (who would die they would DIE in the weeks when you peer outside and think, ah what a lovely 8pm i still have my whole evening ahead of me but the clock says 2am when you look at it and your whole sense of reality crumbles around you) or like weird living off the land crabfishing lumberjack male fantasy. and ice truckers i guess.

2. anyway SECOND, eddie would love alaska. they could stay for a month and he could drag richie up a mountain every goddamn day and there would still be another mountain to climb at the end of it. one of said mountains has stairs just right there for those who don’t want to scramble up a mountainside like a wild child. there will be bears, not of eddie’s preferred variety but still pretty cool. richie can’t ride a moose because they’re creatures of pure anger, probably because they have to haul a

3. head full of bone around all the time, but he can collect novelty moose poop from every gift shop they visit. there are ornaments. earrings. cocktail swizzlers. some truly wild bastard made a set of dice. these are all real things. so is the quote unquote world’s largest chocolate fall, a chocolate waterfall that is comprised of thousands of pounds of what i can only assume is decades old recycled chocolate because you are strongly advised by the gift shop that features it to NOT taste the

4. taste the chocolate. the embolism eddie would have is worth the visit all on its own. this was really supposed to be about the eternal sunshine of alaska summers, which i think is the best part for any tourist who doesn't live here to suffer through the reality of having a sun that does not cooperate with the regular schedules of man

I love this so much holy shit. This was about the sea otters ficlet, right!!! I’m glad you enjoyed it, though I have to admit my only exposure to Alaska IS the vampire movie and nature docs. I live far enough north in Scotland that during high summer you can still see sunlight on the horizon at 2am, and I went to Iceland once in July when the sun never set, but that was surreal enough for just a week so I can’t imagine how bad it messes with your perception of time over a longer period.

I love this because I love thinking about them going on holiday together, all the hijinks that ensue. How quickly they’d go unhinged from the lack of nighttime 👀 I’m so glad to hear Eddie would like Alaska... he’d get so Into buying outdoor gear

He’s like, “Of course we need a personal locator beacon, Rich, what if we don’t have one and we get lost and die? We’ll feel pretty stupid I bet”

Richie: “I can SEE the parking lot from here”

Eddie: “Aw :(“

Richie: “I know you’re desperate to live out all the survivalist fantasies instilled in that sexy little sea otter scout body of yours by 20 years of corporate team-building weekends on manicured ranches in upstate New York—”

Eddie: “maybe :(“

Richie: “Okay, so what if I channel my stage fight training and control my fall to sprain my ankle just enough to necessitate your emergency bandaging skills?”

Eddie: “I would like that, thank you”

Anyway, thank you for this. Richie definitely pretends he’s gonna stick his head under the rancid chocolate fountain for the bit. He also gets novelty moose poop earrings for Bev and she wears them to New York Fashion Week

[nessiesspeakeasy]

Uncouth, Barbaric, and Perfect for Me

She glared at Nisha, who had never made enough money in her life to afford to be at the charity. “What are  you  doing here?”

Nisha sipped her champagne. “Just checking this shin-dig out.” Her eyes took Aurelia in fully. “It’s getting much better now.”

Snorting, Aurelia took Nisha’s drink from her. “I don’t know how you got in, but you definitely didn’t pay the entrance fee. I don’t know why you’re here, but you’re not going to get it. I’ll make sure of it. This is a dignified place.”

-----

Aurelia is set to be the date of an old geezer for the charity auction... Until her ex, Nisha swoops in and buys it out. Now, Aurelia is stuck with an ex lover she would rather not be around at all.

For the @bl-giftexchange! My giftee was Catlikeacat!

You can read the whole fic on my AO3!!!  And if you wanna leave me a ko-fi, feel free!

She had donated many things to the charity, but the best thing she had done was enter herself in the auction. Aurelia Hammerlock was sexy as hell and she knew with all the gross rich men, she’d bring the charity heaps of money.

She chose a silver and gold bodycon dress with a cowl neckline that dipped low in the front and lower in the back. She wore her hair up with expensive earrings that dangled the length of her neck. She made her way around the crowds of unattached, old men, laughing at their dirty jokes and petting their upper arms. She knew she had all of them eating out of the palm of her hand. She grinned wider knowing she was going to beat out the others in the auction.

“Wow, laying it on thick, aren’t ya?”

Aurelia knew that voice anywhere. She’d had a brief affair with that voice. She glared at Nisha, who had never made enough money in her life to afford to be at the charity. “What are you doing here?”

Nisha sipped her champagne. “Just checking this shin-dig out.” Her eyes took Aurelia in fully. “It’s getting much better now.”

Snorting, Aurelia took Nisha’s drink from her. “I don’t know how you got in, but you definitely didn’t pay the entrance fee. I don’t know why you’re here, but you’re not going to get it. I’ll make sure of it. This is a dignified place.”

Grinning wide, Nisha took Aurelia’s hand that held her glass of champagne and tipped it so Nisha could drain it. Before she could pull her hand away, Nisha kissed it.

Aurelia gasped and yanked away. “You are a degenerate!” She turned away from Nisha and slipped into a group of men who would undoubtedly bid for her affections.

-----

Nisha had forgotten how much she’d adored Aurelia. The woman was so much fun to mess with. To ruffle those beautiful feathers. She looked incredible and even more so when she was angry. She smiled at the woman’s back, framed in that gorgeous dress.

And, if she’d read the stupid pamphlet right, Aurelia was set for the auction. She grinned wider and moved to the man who would make things happen. “Irving! My man!” She wrapped her arm around his shoulders.

He stiffened, face turning red. “What the hell are you doing here?” he hissed.

She laughed. “You are going to win Aurelia Hammerlock at the auction.”

“Are you crazy!? My wife is here!”

“Should have thought of that before…” Her voice trailed off to indicate a shared secret. When Irving puffed redder, she rolled her eyes. “Obviously, you aren’t going to have her. I want her. I’m sure you can think of a clever excuse to tell the missus, you’ve had years of practice.”

“Fine! You wretched woman!”

“You’re a champ!”

Aurelia refreshed herself before joining the lineup. She was pleased to find the choices were very good this year. Everyone was gorgeous. And, with the ridiculously high buy in, she did not have to worry about Nisha trying to buy her.

Smiling wide, she walked onto the stage. Immediately, bids rolled in. Higher and higher they went, topping all that had gone before her. She knew half were so they could talk business with her and that was alright, she could go a day listening to nobodies droning on about whatever insignificant business they thought was important.

The final bid was five digits. Aurelia grinned triumphantly and sauntered off stage to go meet the lucky geezer.

What she saw made her blood run cold and then boil. He stood there, signing papers with Nisha standing next to him.

“Just what is the meaning of this?”

The man at least had the decency to look ashamed. “I, uh, bid on her behalf. I apologize for the confusion or any trouble that will be caused. Have a good night.”

Aurelia glared at Nisha. “You manipulative-”

Nisha laughed. “Oh, get over yourself. Meet me at Rodger’s tomorrow at ten. Dress to get messy and be active.”

A cold chill ran through her. “What childish games are you going to force me to do!?”

“It doesn’t matter, since you have to do them or forfeit the donation.”

Anger seethed inside her. “I am going to make you regret this!” She stormed off, ripping her heels off so she could move quickly.

She did not sleep well. Nisha was one of the only people who could infuriate her immediately. Ever since she’d made that mistake two years ago. And now she had to spend the whole day with her. 

She was at least glad she didn’t have to dress up. She only needed to apply a light foundation, eyeliner and mascara with a touch of lipstick. Her hair was pulled into a perfect ponytail and found a button down shirt she hardly wore that she could toss after the day. Some form fitting jeans and designer tennis shoes pulled her look together.

She got a coffee from her favorite shop and got to Roger’s just at ten. Nisha was there, having what looked like her second coffee. Aurelia sat down in the ripped vinyl booth, scrunching her nose at having to touch the table that only resembled wood.

“We really had to meet up here? Couldn’t we have met in someplace nicer, like a dumpster?”

“Good morning to you, too. Here’s a menu.”

“You want me to touch that?”

“Well, I’m not going to hold it for you.” Nisha was smirking, reveling in Aurelia’s misery.

Gingerly, Aurelia pulled the menu to her and used one manicured nail to flip the pages. She scanned the menu, her nose scrunching the more she looked at it. “Well, I supposed the only thing of any sort of worth is possibly this Eggs Benedict.”

“You do know it will be on store bought English muffins, right?”

She huffed loudly and scooted the menu to Nisha. “I don’t understand what sort of perverse pleasure you get out of dragging me through the mud. Did you make that man pay to spend the day with me just to humiliate and mock me?”

Nisha laughed, drinking her coffee. “Of course not. I wanted to spend the day with you. It’s been too long since we were together.”

“So, this is about sex?”

Shrugging, Nisha sat back. “Maybe. Or maybe I wasn’t finished last time.”

“Not finished? We spent days having sex, how can you not be finished?”

Laughing loudly, Nisha leaned forward to say something, but was stopped by the waitress. “I’ll get your Lumberjack special and she’ll have your Eggs Benedict and a side of bacon.”

Aurelia scoffed, but said nothing. When the waitress had gone, she eyed Nisha. “Will you at least tell me what the schedule for today is?”

Nisha laughed. “And ruin the surprises? Or give you a chance to complain about them? Nah, you’re just going to have to deal with not knowing.”

“You are so barbaric.”

“And you’re a spoiled brat. You let all that money make you into nothing more than a prissy baby.”

“Rather a prissy baby than a Neanderthal!”

“But you loved when I was a Neanderthal.”

“A slip in resolve I’ll never do again.”

Grunting, Nisha drained her coffee. “We’ll see.”

(Continued on my AO3).

[kpopcotton]

Simply Soft ~ NCT 127 ver.

a/n ~ here is the final version of simply soft.. i hope you like it!!

• Prompt: johnny. just johnny. • Genre: platonic fluff, bullet point scenario, nct member!reader  • Warning(s): strong desire to be a part of nct • Reader Gender: gender-neutral

==≎==

Taeil

ok google, what does soft mean?

never have you seen taeil so whipped for someone

always supporting you and looking at you with the biggest heart eyes

haechan pretends to get jealous and petty whenever taeil shows you more attention than him

you have competitions sometimes

but besides that,

you show taeil so much love and he has so much to give in return

he’s not the best at expressing his love, but you know he cares through the little things

like when he cleans up after you 

or gives you firm hugs that last tens of minutes at a time when you aren’t feeling the best

or lets you rest in his bed if you fall asleep during the haechan movie nights you crash

he finds you so precious and never wants to see you sad

his favorite time to hang out with you is right after the two of you get home from a busy day

doesn’t matter what you both did, he’ll make sure to find you at the dorms

most of the time he just gives you the look which means he’s picked out some snacks and is ready when you are

to him, there is nothing better than taking a shower and then inviting you to put on face masks and dance to music

lets you pick the playlist

but, he’s very picky about what kind of music it is

either gives you one of his hoodies or steals one of yours

you both get comfy clothes on

and then apply skincare before picking a face mask and putting them on each other

lots of cute selfies that will never be shared but always treasured

in conclusion, taeil loves relaxing with you

“oh! oh, this is the song! quick, come dance!”

==≎==

Johnny

are you ready for another...

johnny’s communication center?

probably not

you’ve only gotten to appear in one of johnny’s youtube videos which was like a 40-second debut

rip y/n

however, contrary to popular belief, you do spend time with him

he’s like the best big brother in the world, even if he’s younger than you

brings you to clothing stores, coffee shops, bookstores, ikea

any place you can buy things really

his favorite places to go with you are clothing stores

forces you to try on clothes that are in his style just to see how they look on you

whines when you try to get him to wear your style of clothing

says your fashion sense is terrible and sad

but wears the clothes anyway to see your reaction

loves seeing you smile

sometimes you go through johnny’s fashion evaluation

either horrendous combinations or luxury styles

there is no in-between

in the case of horrendous combinations (which happened at a thrift store in chicago):

he had you put on a sparkly rainbow bikini top that left little to the imagination, khakis, a lumberjack flannel around your neck, a bandana around your head, sunglasses that had to be at the tip of your nose, and thigh-high, high heeled boots

you had never felt more out of place and uncomfortable in your life

but johnny loved it every second of it

you made sure to get him back though

you gave him a neon blue lacy bralette, a puke green and brown sweater that you forced him to tie into a crop top, jean shorts that were too short with leggings underneath, knee-high socks with laces pulled over the leggings, and strappy sandals

he pretended to model the outfit for you confidently but his bright red neck and cheeks gave it away that he was embarrassed

in the case of luxury items (which was in some uptown, expensive store in japan):

johnny somehow managed to pick out an outfit that accentuated all of your best features with a color that made you feel confident and sexy

you felt you had never looked better

you returned the favor of course and gave him a suit that was definitely a perfect fit and it was obviously red because when does johnny not look good in red

“damn, y/n, look at us! we are the visuals of nct no doubt!”

==≎==

Taeyong

duality.

never have you seen a more confusing duo in kpop history

aeygo to the maxxxx

charisma to that maxxxx

it’s like a metronome how fast you two change when you’re together

the power.

neither soft stans nor hard stans can handle it

the twitter timeline is a dangerous place

fans could be cooing at you both and having heart pains while commenting about how babie you two are

but then die because the next picture is you in all black with a harness doing a questionably 18+ pose with taeyong who’s probably got his signature crop top on

n e ways, let us move on

taeyong adores you so much and it honestly makes him so flustered when you spend time with him

he loves, loves, loves when you take him out

he doesn’t leave the dorm much unless it’s for work

invite him to join you anywhere and he’ll instantly agree with so much enthusiasm, it’ll make you want to give him the world (though he deserves it)

he enjoys the little things

like walking down the street and bumping shoulders every so often while you guys talk about your days

or holding hands while crossing the street to make sure the other is safe

if you go somewhere to eat and offer a bite to him, he’ll melt

do anything for him and he’ll melt, really

one time you held the door for him and he had heart eyes the rest of the night

another time, you complimented his taste in fashion while you took a few pictures of him for instagram and he couldn’t stop smiling

how can he be so precious?

always tries to impress you with a surprise while you are out

he might spoil his new solo track or pay for a meal if you stop anywhere to eat, but that’s when he’s feeling extra

one time he surprised you with a tight hug and a genuine thank you that actually made you cry

“baby, please... spend some time.. with me?”

==≎==

Yuta

you and yuta are like two peas in a pod

like peanut butter and jelly

like strawberries and chocolate

like french fries and burgers

like fish and chips

sorry, i’ll stop with food pairs im kinda hungry right now

anyways, you get it

yuta feels lost when you aren’t around. you are his best friend, his other half (winwin who?)

yuta without you just feels... wrong

nct’s instragram is full of the pictures you guys take when you go on adventures together, which is very often

it’s his favorite thing to do with you; traveling and exploring

you pull up a map on your phone and go buck wild

you’ve both found some pretty cool places and some amazing views

you found a hidden cove somewhere off the coast in california but you guys got in trouble later that day because no one could find you

turns out you guys had wandered a lot farther than you thought

the pictures you showed the group made up for it

they were gorgeous candids of the both of you, laughing and smiling together

one was a timed one where you were both jumping

all of these photos and videos were posted to instagram which made a lot of people happy just to see yuta and you so happy in your elements

sometimes, you guys force mark to join you which takes some convincing because you two are always trouble 

mark wouldn’t admit it in a million years, but those moments he shares with the two of you are where he has the most fun

he never knew two people could love each other platonically as much as the two of you do

however, he wants to barf whenever you guys call each other sappy pet names because, ew, third wheeling

“where should we go today, honey?”

==≎==

Doyoung

my birthday twin, let’s get it

how do i even begin to explain how much this boy cares?

you are the third member on his “favorite member” list

now, don’t get petty when he says you’re third

the story of how you got demoted from first is a bit funny in hindsight, jeno (who’s in first) takes the liberty of making fun of you for it whenever you hang out

jungwoo (who owns second) always tries to stand up for you though

you were messing around with taeyong on top of a set-piece while shooting a music video

doyoung had scolded you and told you to stop or else you would get hurt

you decided to laugh off his warning because you “weren’t that clumsy” 

turns out you were

taeyong did something cool (when does he not?) and you wanted to try it, so after he told you how to do it a few times, you did

you fell

not very far, only a couple feet, but you landed on your back

the sound was so loud that it startled everyone

doyoung had a heart attack

he thought you died

you had the wind knocked out of you and your back was a little sore, but other than that you were fine

at least ten people swarmed you

including taeyong who was apologizing like crazy

doyoung was right there, lifting you up and already giving you an earful about how he told you to be cautious

once people were sure you were fine and didn’t have a concussion, they left you alone

doyoung doesn’t like much physical affection, but he’ll put that aside to smother you against his chest and harshly reprimand you

he’s a mom friend and will always be

will never tell you, but he prizes the moments when you get sick or hurt

sounds sadistic, and maybe it is, but he loves when you are a helpless baby and he has to take care of you

always scolding you for compromising your health, but doesn’t stop pampering you

tells the other members off when they try to help him

makes you soup when you are sick and gets you anything you ask for without complaint

if you get hurt, he’s right there with some form of first aid

and since i know you’re wondering: yes, he will cuddle you if you ask.

“come to me when you need help, you dumb baby.”

==≎==

Jaehyun

jung jaehyun is the definition of boyfriend material

when you two get together, the aesthetic blogs pale in comparison

everything the two of you do together is an aesthetic, really

golden hour selfies on rooftops where your skin glows and your eyes look the most beautiful

candids on the streets of the city where you're illuminated by the street signs

coffee shop pictures where you look so perfectly in your element sipping coffee and looking out the window

snapshots of “date nights” where you stay in to watch movies or kdramas with popcorn, candy, and a bottle of wine

couple’s outfits where you pose like models while someone takes your photo

you guys do it all

honestly, the biggest ship in all of nct is you and jaehyun

fanfiction writers are jealous no doubt because how the hell can the two of you live out their writings so flawlessly

some people use the pictures the two of you take as templates for their mood boards or “nct as boyfriends” projects

you both probably started a vlog series on the nct youtube account

however, the time you guys spend together is strictly platonic, no matter how badly people want you two to “just date”

neither of you tries anything romantic because blegh, disgusting, i’ve known this person for so long they are literally my best friend, my sibling, a family member i’ve never had but always wanted

sure, jaehyun’s ears turn red whenever you guys dress up in similar outfits but it’s because of people’s reactions

if you see a picture with jaehyun shy next to you, it’s probably because johnny is screaming behind the scenes about how good the two of you look

speaking of johnny, he’s the hype man

also, sort of, maybe, kinda the reason you guys do so much aesthetic stuff

he says you guys are too good looking not to “bless the world with your visuals”

to sum this up, jaehyun treasures you and does the most with you

“what are you wearing today? we should match since it’s our friend-iversary!”

==≎==

WinWin

see wayv ver.

==≎==

Jungwoo

i love him with all my heart and i really miss him right now

it’s real soft hours up in here

not a single moment where you aren’t giving each other all the love you can muster

big comfy sweaters with sweater paws

love confessions every hour

always telling you he loves you and that you are his

treats you like royalty while also babying you into next week

he’s honestly the sweetest person on the planet and he can’t handle himself around you because dang, you really be out here existing and stuff

looking that good

since he’s so affectionate, i see him cuddling you like there’s no tomorrow

will build a pillow fort for you

honestly, he will do anything for you as long as you say please

not afraid to kiss you either. don’t matter where or when, he’s ready

some would say it’s his favorite thing to do

your cheek looking extra squishy that day? his lips have claimed that territory

your forehead exposed? kiss.

your neck easily accessible? smooch.

your hand in his? peck.

your lips in a pout? he better hold himself back because he’s about ready to risk it all just to give you a kith

the other members try not to seem too surprised every time you accept his lips on your skin

they freak out whenever it happens to them, or get super flustered

they don’t know how you handle his affection so well

you say it’s a talent when they ask you

a.k.a. you treasure all the affection he gives you because he is literally the best boy and you would die for him

he worships you on the daily (lucky)

he says his heart beats irregularly whenever you are around because he loves you that much

it was actually scientifically proven during a tv show when you had to make other members’ heart rates fluctuate with aegyo

you hadn’t started doing anything yet, but just by looking at you his heart did a boom boom and everyone freaked out

holds the title of the member with the best hair second-biggest ship in all of nct and of course, it’s with you

fans have so many videos of jungwoo hanging off of you and being clingy

always talking about you like you put the stars in the sky

you know that video when jungwoo was giving mark “the look”? it’s like that with you but at least ten times worse and all the time because you are his baby, his world, his favorite member

always has to comment about what you two did that day

never ever forgets to talk about how much he cares about you

“yeah, y/n and i are close. i love them with all my heart. they are perfect!”

==≎==

Mark

see dreamies ver

==≎==

Haechan

see dreamies ver

[nautiscarader]

Smutember 2020 day 1 - Dirty talk (show), Zalissa (Melizack)

Smutember 2020 day 1 - Dirty talk (show), 

Zalissa (Melizack) (Milo Murphy’s Law), E, 1.8k

(Ao3) 

If you liked my story, here’s a Ko-fi link if you’d be so kind ❤️.    

Prompt suggested by @vickyships

=================

- Nervous, mister Underwood? Is it your first time live on air?

Melissa's voice brought Zack from his short moment of thoughtfulness.

- Me? - Zack returned a cocky smile Melissa blessed him with - Are you kidding? We've been through tougher times. And why did you call me that? - Journalistic integrity. Gotta stay professional, since, you know, we are a thing. - Uh, babe, the entire school knows we are a thing, so- - I know, but let's pretend. - she cut him off - Ssh, we're going live.

Melissa gave him a quick wink and slid the headphones on, just as Lydia, sitting behind glass in the director's room opposite them was giving them signals. She silently counted from five to one, and when the red "On Air" lamp above them turned on, her confident, alluring voice filled the recording room.

- And now, Danville, welcome to another episode of "Chased into the spotlight", a programme where your humble host, Melissa Chase, interviews your favourite local celebrities, idols, oddballs, or whomever is available.

She spoke the intro on a single breath, giving her boyfriend a subtle wink at the end of her opening line.

- Today's guest has moved into our town only a couple of years ago, but he has already made a name for himself, though I will most certainly try to uncover a bit of his past. How are you doing, Zack? - I am fine, Melissa, and thanks for inviting me. - Oh, it is my pleasure for having you.

Her smirk widened just a bit as she spoke those words, prompting a sudden twitch from her interlocutor sitting opposite her. As if nothing has happened, Melissa casually looked at her list of questions and continued.

- Zack, most people know you for being cool, laid-back guy and a loyal friend, but only some of us have heard about your passions and talents. Would you care to tell us about them? - Well, I guess it started when I was a young kid, I liked dressing up for Halloween and that kinda led me to getting interested in theatre and dancing, and I guess singing. - Interesting... - Melissa toyed with her pen, and took one end of it into her mouth, gently grazing it with her teeth - Were you interesting in role-playing? Wearing costumes? Assuming different characters, to enact some of your... fantasies?

Melissa might have wondered about it before, but there was no mistake now - in the lights of the recording studio, she could easily see droplets of sweat on Zack's forehead forming as her words left her mouth, still forming an alluring connection with the pen.

- Uh, well, you-you can say tha-that... - And you have played roles, singing in your boy band, "Lumberzacks". - Melissa interrupted him - Oh, uh, yes. - ... which was of course called "Lumbermaxes", before the lead singer, Max, left, leaving you in charge. Tell me, how does it feel to be chosen as the dominant alpha male of your group? - Wha-what do you mea-AA!

Zack yelped and put hands over his mouth when he felt something smooth sliding up his leg, right up to his crotch. Neither the listeners, nor Lydia could see what Melissa was doing with her feet underneath the table, but neither the pop-filter, nor the equipment could hide his ecstatic voice.

- Impressive vocal range - Melissa commented without missing a beat - Why don't we listen to a clip of your song, long enough to let our viewers experience your talent, and short enough to avoid our channel being taken down by copyright bots?

She nodded towards Lydia, and the familiar tune of a lumberjack-themed song started seeping from the speakers, giving the two a short moment to breathe, though Zack evidently needed it more.

- Mel! - he spoke in half-whisper - What the what was that?

His girlfriend graced him with another smirk, as her foot slid from her shoe and started climbing up his leg again. She looked at the equalised of his microphone and watched as the waves of his breathing osculate with each inch she was travelling up. Their eyes met, and as she travelled up, Melissa wondered if she made the right choice. Though he was nervous, her boyfriend didn't let her know she has won, until her toes found the familiar thickness hidden in the left leg of his jeans. She moved her toes back and forth around his head, until in the corner of her eye Melissa noticed Lydia signalling the end of the clip.

At once, Melissa retracted her foot from between his legs, seeing longing in his eyes and fixed her position in the chair.

- And that was "Forest Fire of My Heart", which I understand you also co-wrote? - Uh, yes - Zack grunted - Usually Max was the head writer, but this is the one song where I proved that I am skilled not only in using my mouth, but also my fingers...

Zack leaned forward, eager to see Melissa's eye widen as hers, but instead, Melissa let out a short and quiet snort.

- Be-because I had to ty-type the song on-on my PC... - Of course.

Melissa restrained herself from bursting into laughter.

- Tell me, in the song, you sing about "Burning wood" and "Fire consuming your body".

She once again half-closed her eyes, and lowered her voice into a seductive, alluring range, accentuating the innuendos.

- Were you describing- - Love.

Zack answered at once.

- I was writing about love, warming one's soul, heart and mind, love that if left unspent can burn bridges and forests. I was thinking, seeing into the future, perhaps, about a flame with a flaming red hair that I will meet one day and make her cheeks burn with the same fire...

It was time for Melissa to stare at her sly-looking lover with a dumbfounded, empty expression on her face, while the room and the airwaves were filled with nothing but silence for a solid twenty seconds.

- Uhm, this-this is all the time we have for today, Lu-Lumberzacks are about to have a- uh, reunion charity concert on Saturday, and you can buy the-the tickets on our website, though I should warn you, the first row is already sold out because I will buy all of them.

She waved quickly at Lydia to end the recording early, and soon as the red light above them and the one behind the glass were turned off, Melissa regained some confidence in her voice.

- How much time do we have till next classes? - Fifteen minutes. - Perfect. - And keep the headphones on, you look sexy in it - Zack spoke just as Melissa was about to take it off.

The sound-proof walls contained Melissa's shriek that escaped her mouth when Zack grabbed her waist and lifted her up just so he can slam her against the table. Anticipating his move, she spread her legs, and the second he slid between them, they closed behind his back in a tight lock, and a quick kick to his ass made him press his crotch against her wet sex.

While his lips found hers, her hands at once dashed between their heated bodies, to the same length she was massaging through his jeans, and after a few seconds of fumbling, he slid into her delicate palm. She wished they had time for delicate foreplay, but the heat burning between her legs told her she needs a far, far quicker fix for that.

She ended their ravenous kiss just so she could hear his voice cracking when his cock's head pushed aside the strip of her soaked panties and parted her puffy lips, followed by a savoured, blissful moment of tranquillity. But metaphorical tables were turned pretty quickly on her, when Zack used those few seconds to gather strength and sank inside her in one, smooth move which made Melissa's body arch as her senses were overwhelmed by her lover's filling her up.

- You... you would like this to be live, on air, wouldn't you...?

Melissa taunted him, eager to see his eyes widen at her salacious proposal.

- I want to proclaim my love to you to the who-whole school... - he grunted leaning against her for a kiss - And the nation. Even world. - And space, don't forget that. We know they got your songs out there...

Picking up speed, the two lovers moved in unison, racing both together and against each other, with the words of Zack's song still in their heads. Melissa didn't know whether it was poor air conditioning, or maybe their bodies grinding against each other have made the wooden table catch fire, but with each second she felt her core superheating.

- Me-Melissa... - Zack groaned, feeling the same overwhelming need in his loins - Where- - Inside - she answered at once in a broken voice - i want your seed to extinguish the fire inside me...

Those were the last words Melissa could speak with a clear mind. Melissa's final moan rivalled his grunts, and the sound-proof room trapped them around the two, just as their mouths joined again, rocking their shared climax that made the table slam against the wall with each thrust of Zack's hips and each portion of his cum that flooded her womb.

After another minute or so, the aggressive noise died down, just as the first wave of blissful afterglow began engulfing the two young adults. Zack gave Melissa a charming smile, leaned against her, and Melissa automatically closed her eyes, waiting for her lover's lips... But after a while of waiting she realised something must have gone wrong.

When she looked at him again, she saw a terrified look in his eyes, fixated at some point behind her, and when she tilted her head back, she noticed a single figure in the director's room that was lit once again.

Even with the image of her friend upside-down, Melissa could spot Lydia's burning cheeks and equally frightened look on her face, as the poor soul didn't know how to react to finding her friends in flagranti. Slowly, she decided to back away, though she never took her eyes (nor her phone) away from Zack and Melissa's half-naked, tangled bodies, until the director's room was empty once more.

- Well, I think we should count our blessings. - Zack huffed - If it was Milo, we would be live and everyone would hear us. - Are you saying everyone won't hear about it? - Melissa raised her eyebrow, and cupped his face to give him a kiss. - Get ready for an extra amount of awkward interviews for the next few days. Also, I am going to take the headset home, if you like me wearing it. - Yeah, shame it doesn't go with anything, so you'll have to be naked.

Zack laughed when Melissa gave him a light punch just as the two began to cover up their mess.