#i want my mom back
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at least I have food
#oats with oat milk and sugar which I made MYSELF because no one makes food in this house#I want my mom back#og
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i miss my mom so much
#my post#i keep dreaming about her and then waking up and crying#i want my mom back#i want her to see how independent ive become and be proud
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What is that post that's like:
"I want to go home"
"You are home."
#I want to go home harder.#I want it to go back#I want to go back.#I want to be home#I want to be how I was#I want my mom back
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no one prepares you for how hard it is to watch your parent slowly mentally deteriorate
#rant#my mom isn’t the same woman who raised me anymore#she hasn’t been for a while#i’m only 20#and she’s slipping away#it’s not fair#i already don’t have a dad#this is her second round in a mental facility in one year#i’m not supposed to be the one taking care of her#it’s supposed to be the other way around#im only just now realizing how much she’s changed#it hurts so much#i want my mom back
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#mental health#bipolar depression#manic depression#edgar allen poe#self care#creative writing#creative outlet#sad thoughts#struggle#head above water#chaotic mind#this is me trying#sensory overload#overwhelmed#i want my mom back#september#mournful#i'm just so tired#mental health awareness#heartbroken#art therapy#my photgraphy#my writing#medication#first post
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It’s been almost two years. Isn’t that enough time to start talking to you again? Can I say I’ve forgiven you yet and go back to the way things were?
#mango#i just. i miss having a mom#i want my mom back#she wasn’t a good one#she was abusive in almost every sense of the word#but she was mine. and even after everything i miss her#it sucks not having a proper ‘family’ you feel connectes to anymore#not having the people you GREW UP WITH anymore#i miss ny parents. so so much#alexa play motionsickness by phoebe bridgers#and also alexa play kioko by phoebe bridgers#patton 🐶
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thinking of comedic ways of how the hell that talk is gonna go
#you can pinpoint when i stopped giving a crap about clean lines#once again in the collection of 'this was funnier in my head'#then again i am very funny in my head my hands cant compete#why am i rambling in the tags you ask? i can do what i want MOM#this is for all the people saying that he can still learn about being a sentimonster#its true he can!! and thats hilarious to me#they cannot frame that reveal in any form that still makes gabriel look good lmao#anyway back to the mines i go#miraculous ladybug#ml spoilers#mlb#my art#lily doodles#mlb meme#mlb shitpost#adrien agreste#marinette dupain cheng#felix fathom#nathalie sancoeur#gabriel agreste#miraculous#mlb london#sort of
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⭐PRINCESS RAYLA⭐
Playing around imagining what an older Rayla might look like (a total excuse to draw her in a dress).
I think she's between 25 and 30 here, got a bit to get used having the title as the first elven princess of The Pentarchy. The earrings are a reference to her Arc 2 concept art but for a lot of reasons it made sense they scrapped the idea so I HC that when the war is over and she doesn't have to fight anymore she will let her hair loose, wear jewerly and pretty dresses (ofc all gifted by Callum since we know how babygirl is).
Her back is open because Callum wants to enjoy the view
#drawing fullbodies killed my grandma okay#also she's already a mom here. pretty mom#the horncuff are from the official valentines art they are her engagement cuffs here#i want her to be happy and comfy and not needing to fight#tdp#the dragon prince#rayla#tategaminu art#continue the saga#give us the saga#this was on my wips for months but I got back at it because her xadia red carpet outfit made me mad :D#LET THE GIRL WEAR A DRESS YOU COWARDS#whos she looking at? we know hehehehehe#can i tag this as rayllum? it kinda is!?? adjancently?#rayllum
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Moon 17: So yeah! This happened!
(Sidenote for Cedar's kits, they're meant to be 4-5 weeks/1 moon old already - so they're weaned from needing milk)
Also, also baby refs:
#story#splinterclan#clangen#cedarheart#elkkit#moonkit#prairiekit#burnkit#i feel like the mom of these guys is pretty obvious lol#and here's where i admit I've known about these kits for ages#and i wrote Bess into the story and designed her based off these kits#bc i wanted them to have a canon mom and also cedar disappearing for a month#right before coming back home with kits was too good not to#capatalize on#babies time!!!!#myrtleflower#whorlstar#pansybloom#i literally wrote in my notes 'what is going oooooon' after this moon lmao
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merlin told arthur his favorite color was the color of the sky during sunset when it shifted into a deep violet. arthur gets a tunic made in that exact shade. its the best thing merlin owns. arthur was hoping that would mean he’d wear it almost everyday but merlin almost never wears it. the only time he does wear it is when royals come to visit (which isn’t all that often). arthur “subtly” asks about it and merlin is like “it’s the best thing i own. i’m not gonna dirty it mucking out the stables or serving rowdy knights wine while they splatter food on it” and arthur is like “why not wear it when nobles come to visit? look at least a little presentable for them” (cough nice save). merlin doesn’t see the point in it bc nobles don’t care about him at best, view him as less than human at worst.
arthur really just wants to see his boyfriend servant in the tunic he had made for him (bonus points for sending a message that merlin is his. not that merlin seems to notice. man is too much of an idiot). merlin wants to preserve his favorite tunic and gift from his boyfriend king.
#arthur absolutely checks him out every time he walks out in it#every ten seconds hes looking away from his guests and staring at merlin#merlin only realizes about half the time#that hes staring. not that he’s checking him out.#arthur noticed the few nobles staring at merlin like a hot piece of ass#he keeps merlin in his chambers with a list of chores to complete#it keeps him busy until the visiting noble is gone#arthur desperately wants merlin to wear the damn tunic to get the nobles to back off#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#THAT FUCKING PURPLE TUNIC LIVES IN MY HEAD RENT FREE#WHAT WAS THE REASON#i hc merlins favorite color is purple bc out in ealdor he was surroubded by green brown and beige#with the occasional red from the blood of livestock#but when the sun went down after a long day and he and will lay out in the field behind his moms house#he’d see the rich violet of the sky and fall in love#but since yknow peasant boy he can only afford red and blue clothing so thats what he gets#hc#head canon#headcanon#fanfic#fanfiction#fic idea
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This was honestly my first thought when I saw Casey Jr. So…….Plot twist he is now their son.
#sometimes I wonder is this was intentional#Because he seems like their love child#even has the slicked back hair and a gapped tooth#(yes I am aware teeth imperfections are not genetic)#since the movie never showed Casey Jr’s full orgin#reality can be whatever i want#and I've made up a whole story in my mind where Casey Jr was a child of these two that somehow got#thrown into another dimension as a baby and was found by Cassandra#so Cassandra is still his mom but an adoptive one#rottmnt casey jr#tmnt#rise casey#rise casey jr#rottmnt#rise casey jones#2012 donnie#2012 donatello#tmnt 2012#tmnt donatello#tmnt casey jones#tmnt crossover#2012 casey jones#jonatello#caseytello#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#casey jones
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bby floyd sleeping with their dad's vest
#drew this back in january and i just (again) realized i never posted it#cuz i wanted to draw another pic to go with it after i was done with this one and i had a realization#a pic of their mom and JD just watching them in the doorway with sad smiles#bc for a second Tulip thought she saw her husband with the way Floyd's and Clay's hair are layered and Floyd wearing the vest#😭😭😢#my art#trolls#dreamworks trolls#trolls floyd#floyd is 11 here. the baby#trolls clay#trolls spruce#kinda#brozone#young brozone#i used to sleep like that as a little kid#just grasping the corner of a blanket or pillow#i headcanon they shared a bed. jd was there too until they got too big to fit all four. so then jd slept on the couch
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rewatched bsd w my friend seeing it for the first time and the nostalgia of seeing these two together again hit me like a bus
#literally mom and dad of the agency#dazai and kunikida protect yokohama but more importantly they also protect atsushi#funny story but we were watching in sub and the translations were wack bc when i watched dazai refers to kunikida as his colleague#but in the version we were watching he just called him partner w/o any context it was so fucking funny😭#bro rly just pointed to a random man across the river and was like “oh that's my partner btw!! we can use his money to treat you to dinner!#my bestie made me pause the show and was like “????partner. are they married??? either way it's cute that there's mlm rep in this anime🥺”#i was genuinely holding back tears#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#lotus draws#SRY FOR THE UNGODLY HR IM POSTING AT I DIDNT WANT TO LOSE THE MOTIVATION I SUDDENLY GOT AFTER WATCHING THE FIRST FEW EPS#IVE WANTED TO DRAW THESE TWO FOR SO LONG IDK WHAT TOOK ME SO LONG😭😭😭😭
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I find it fascinating how every single one of my health issues can be mistaken for laziness
#tw ableism#->#'ugh why doesn't she pay attention to classes?? lazy' -> I'm ADHD/2e. your lesson isn't interesting enough.#'why does your table have wheels? why do you have to work from your bed? that's clearly an excuse to be able to lay down wnvr you want'->#there's something unidentified happening with my back that makes me unable to sit straight for long periods of time and it hurts LIKE HELL.#'why did you only get up at noon? that's such a lazy behavior' -> my circadian rhythm is nocturnal. I'm only truly awake past midnight and+#+it has been like that since the day i was born. mom had to stay up with baby me until 3am#tw fatphobia#->->#'why are you so fat? are you eating healthy? are you going to the gym? smaller portions girrrrllllll' ->#first of all go to hell. but anyway i actively enjoy eating healthy food#i love salads.#and yes i go to the gym regularly. almost every day.#but i have a very fun thing called PCOS and it messes up with my hormones in ways no professional could help me yet 👍#but again. go to hell.#nonsims#non sims
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grian gets saved by hotguy and then pines over him <3
so this "au" (if you can even call it that when it exists exclusively in my brain and now in this ask) is mostly crack and comes from me joking around a couple days ago with some friends so...don't take it too seriously. that being said...
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you have (3) new comments! view now?
click.
areeongreenday: hey! so this is insane.
click.
h0tguysnumber0n3fan: i guess i kind of understand where you're coming from with this - scar goodman and hotguy do share a similar sense of humor, and i sort of see what you're saying at 47:03 when you compared their voices (more specifically, the inflection they use on specific words) but...i guess i'm having a hard time imagining scar as a superhero. don't get me wrong - he's plenty cool, but...didn't he say that he's a full-time content creator now? i don't know that he'd really have the time to record, edit, and post videos on top of saving the city on a near-daily basis. interesting theory, though! admire the dedication.
click.
scargoodman: ;)
and there it was, taunting him - that damn winky face, yet again, commented nearly instantaneously each time grian uploaded a new video about the man itself. scar goodman - known to many as the man who had risen to sudden fame in the video essayist community with his charming good looks and boisterous personality. scar goodman, whom grian suspected was secretly none other than the city's beloved superhero. after all, they'd both made their debuts within a week of each other and shared not only a similar path of success but a similar sense of humor, a similar speaking style, a similar body type, a similar laugh...sure, there were things that didn't quite line up, but...for the most part, they appeared to be the exact same person.
okay - maybe grian was a little obsessed. but what was he supposed to do, not point out the obvious?
what made matters worse was that nobody seemed to believe him. no matter how many videos he posted, no matter how much proof he gave...nobody was willing to hear him out.
nobody except scar goodman himself, who seemed intent to drive him absolutely insane.
grian grumbled something to himself, pocketing his phone and continuing down the long, narrow sidewalk to his apartment complex. he'd lost track of time at work yet again, and as a result, the sun had long set. this wasn't unusual for him - he often opted to remain late in the office to "finish up a few things" (ie take advantage of the functional wifi his workplace offered instead of trying to upload videos on his crummy home network), so he was...fairly comfortable tracing the path back to his apartment in the dark of night. the street lights in this part of town didn't work exceptionally well, but with the familiarity of it all and the dull light of the moon, grian typically fared well enough.
tonight, however...well, call him paranoid, but...something felt...off. something about the way all the buildings around him were dark, indicating that their inhabitants were either asleep or out (and entirely unreachable if grian were to call for help). something about the absence of the various stray cats that he often crossed paths with. something about how the complete and utter silence made his ears ring.
"aw, what's this? a cute guy? well, pretty boy, you've just entered the wrong part of town at the wrong time. unfortunately, loose lips sink ships, or...uh...however the saying goes, so...sorry, i can't let you leave this visit alive."
before grian could even register the words being spoken (where were they even coming from?? above him? below him? behind him? everywhere, all at once?), he felt hands gripping the back of his shirt. in another moment, he was on the ground, his breath clawing its way out of his chest. above him stood a figure, shrouded in darkness and the billowing, starry cape draped across their shoulders. in their hands was something glinting, something sharp, something deadly -- something that grian's frazzled, spinning mind was unable to put a name to. or maybe it refused to - refused to name the tool that would be his doom. maybe it was better that way, he mused idly, as the figure raised it high above their head. maybe it was best to not know.
"hey! there you are - what did i say about running off?"
and just as quickly as he'd accepted his death, the threat of it was gone, vanquished by the appearance of the tall, costumed man on the rooftop adjacent. grian felt his breath return to his chest in one fell swoop, filling his lungs and sending a wave of sensitivity to his throat. he coughed, hard, tears welling helplessly in his eyes, and the newcomer's attention snapped to him in an instant.
"oh - and you've made a friend! how nice. unfortunately, there are no plus ones in prison."
"hotguy," grian's would-be murderer snarled. "i thought i'd lost you."
"nah. i may have gotten lost, sure. but you didn't lose me. there's a difference."
"you'll wish that i'd lost you when i'm through with you."
"oh, that was lame!" the man cried, hopping over the low rooftop wall and landing neatly on the ground below (how he did it, even grian wasn't sure. by all intents and purposes, his legs shouldn't have that level of shock absorption, even if he had been fed some chemical cocktail by a mad scientist at a young age as he boasted). "listen - we've got to get you a better catchphrase."
hotguy strode forward, his eyes glinting behind his tinted visor. he glanced to grian out of the corner of his eye, then back to the villain - then back to grian again, his mouth going slack in surprise. grian met his gaze - took in his appearance - and let out a bark of laughter, one not missed by either scar goodman or the cloaked figure in front of him. scar returned his laughter, throwing his head back and planting his hands firmly on his hips.
"well, what a coincidence," he giggled, after a moment. "my new catchphrase just so happens to be "subscribe to my youtube channel."
"what?" their third demanded, glancing between the two. "what are you talking about?"
"oh my god. there's no way. there's no way. how - how am i the only one who knows? how am i the only one who suspects?? it's obvious - it's so obvious."
"what's obvious?"
"i know, right? i make it as obvious as possible, and still...still, nobody puts two and two together. well...nobody except for you, apparently. i guess that you're just...special."
"why don't you just come out and say it?" grian mused, propping himself up on his elbows and ignoring the sputtering from their newly acquired third wheel. "i feel like if you said it - either as scar goodman or hotguy - people would have to believe it, no?"
a strange look came over hotguy's face, but it vanished as quickly as it had arrived.
"ah...i don't think that would change anything. plus, i have this thing with this cute guy where he tries to tell everyone my identity and i egg him on to get him to make more silly videos. i would hate to give that up."
he winked, and grian felt warmth climb his cheeks. gone was the fear, gone was the panic, gone was the darkness and the creeping, crawling sense of unease - instead, there was only curiosity, burning brightly in his chest. he wanted to talk to scar - hotguy - for hours, wanted to pull the object of his obsession apart to see what made him tick, then put him back together again, just to see what would happen. he wanted to get to know who hotguy was underneath the suit - and who scar goodman was with the suit. he'd wanted (he'd wanted for so long) and it felt like maybe...just maybe...he'd get to have.
"hey! what the hell is going on?"
"oh, right," hotguy chuckled, turning his attention to the third member of their party. "sorry - didn't mean to ignore you. here - sit tight, for real this time. the police will be here soon."
"dude, i'm just going to leave again. do you really not have handcuffs or something?"
"who needs handcuffs when you have a cub to design fancy gadgets for you?"
"a...a what?" the figure asked, then yelped, startled, as something exploded out of the cuff on hotguy's wrist. a net, affixing itself neatly to their body, wrapping them up in a cocoon of their own folly. grian stared at it, humming in approval.
"nice."
"thank you! it's new."
"i know."
"i bet you do," scar responded, and grian flushed further at the teasing edge his tone took on. "i bet you know almost everything about me, at this point. obsessed, much?"
"i could say the same," grian huffed back, pulling himself to his feet and brushing off his jeans (there was a rip in one leg, now, he noticed with a frown). "you recognized me, like, immediately. it's pretty dark out, too - sounds like you're the one obsessed."
"what can i say - you're pretty and smart. i happen to like my men pretty and smart."
grian sputtered incoherently in response, all confidence gone out the window. oh god - he was even more charismatic in person, even in costume. and god, was the costume more attractive in person, as well - baggy cargo pants and a tight, fitted top that exposed his tanned midriff. not the most tactical, sure - but damn was it hot.
"you can't say that," he moaned, covering his reddened cheeks with his hands. "oh my god. i hate you. i've known you for five minutes and i already hate you."
"sure you do," scar responded, grinning. "i - oh, hold on."
he raised his hand and tapped the earpiece affixed to the side of his head, concentrating. after a moment, he sighed - and for just a second, grian thought that his shoulders drooped in exhaustion. as quickly as they sagged, however, scar was straightening, turning back to grian with an easy smile.
"sorry, handsome, duty calls. are you alright to get back home on your own? i doubt this guy will be giving you any more trouble. those nets are pretty sturdy."
"wait!" grian sputtered, his heart hammering painfully in his chest (no, no, he couldn't let scar slip through his fingers, not now, not when he was finally so close). "don't go - i...can i see you again?"
scar's smile wobbled around the edges, and any panic grian felt was replaced with guilty - heavy and suffocating (though he wasn't sure why)
"ah...isn't it more fun, this way? don't you like the chase? isn't that exhilaration enough for your pretty little head?"
"i mean...it's a fun hobby, yeah, but -,"
"then we'll stick to the status quo. after all, i'd hate to rob you of your favorite hobby. goodnight, grian. can't wait for your next video."
and with a wink, he was gone, disappearing back into the shadows so quickly grian could have sworn he was made of them. and grian...well. he had an apartment to get home to, a cat to feed...and a chase to continue. and maybe, someday, if he was fast enough...he'd catch up.
#oooooooooh no. oooooooh my god. guys i know i said this was a crack au and not that deep but i fear i've infected myself with the brainworms#i got an Idea. i got an Idea and now i can't stop thinking about it#alternatively: mom says it's MY turn for a scarian superhero au#anyway. maybe more of this to come. i'll come back and tag this au properly when i figure out what to call it#feel free to Ask Me Things regarding this if you are interested and want to Force me to think more about it#grian#goodtimeswithscar#scarian#hermitshipping#plant answers#plant writes#i'm back the tenative title for this au is unmasked#unmasked au
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hi
gentle reminder that me and my family are still in need of help and my comms are open, i have school so i may not be very fast but i try my best to be despite the situation i currently live in it would be great if you could help in any way, even just by sharing. thank you for everyone who helped me so far (and a special thanks to EmeliaK), i had wished by now this would be over but it's not. so i gotta keep fighting
thank you
#important#more info is on the link that i put on the text#as always if you need more info im free to share#its just that the country i live in just sucks so bad and you need to pay for everything#so every single money we spend just. goes and never returns#because no one is also offering my mom any job#she did so many interviews too and they never called back#i just want all this to end in a good way im lowkey so tired#im so sorry i have to remind you guys of this again im just.#i was gonna draw something but my mom keeps crying about this i eventually cant keep pretending im ok anymore
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