#if a guy threatens to leave the throne for you once he loves you

[rosemarytales]

I don't think we as a fandom talk enough about how arthur actually desperately didn't want to be a prince

[diejager]

for your cod monster au, you mentioned that graves was making jokes about turning you into a vampire. how did the guys react to that? im curious if graves did it more than once just to rile them up?

Pleasantries cw: mention of turning, mention of blood drinking, tell me if I missed any.

Graves likes to have fun, he loves putting himself first and the world next. He gorges like a wealthy king atop his throne, waving at men and women, coaxing them forward or backward to do what he wants, Graves is a person who does whatever he wants whenever he wants —or at least as much as he can until he gets into trouble.

He jokes on and on about turning you, of sinking his teeth into your soft skin. He can smell the sweetness in your veins, the healthy dose of iron and fat in your bloodstream that would satiate him much more than a homeless person eh picked up from the streets. Yours smelled good and he swears that it would taste as good as it smelled, honeyed and lightly spicy, something that would linger on his tongue pleasantly rather than the repulsive taste of rot.

He might joke about drinking you dry to rile them up, to watch them hold themselves back, heir eyes red and black with anger and disgust. He knows they can’t do anything about it unless they want him complaining and dropping the work, Shepherd would be mad about it. He had an upper-hand over them, the power of dictating whether the Shadows would help them capture Hassan or not with the drop of a hat if Graves didn’t like their characters.

They’re livid, faces red and scowling at Graves, something he relished in seeing, the self-restraint and control they had to wield. He could see the veins in Soap’s neck pop out, knowing that Soap might jump at him if you or the others weren’t there to hold him back. Ghost, ever as stoic and cold with anyone other than his direct squad, was an annoyance to Graves since he couldn’t seem to get to the man. Ghost stayed as cruel and demeaning as he was, spitting crude jabs at him or his Shadows, growling out orders or glaring at him as if he was an idiot. Gaz, as much as Graves would have liked, had little reaction to it, Gaz was naturally softhearted, gentle with you and handled you - moved you away - when Graves was around. Price had the same resilience and self-control as a wise and old dragon, patiently waiting for Graves or his Shadows to leave the room before growling out insults.

He might make the offer - threatened - to let his Shadows have a go at you, letting the hundred of thralls he had have a taste of your sweet blood, the blood from the only human near them. You were practically teasing them about it, neck uncovered and wearing t-shirt rather than long-sleeved ones around base.

Another part of him does it because, as mentioned before, you’re the only one with viable blood for him, not the mutt-tasting blood of a werewolf, the deathly rot of a wraith, the burn of a dragon or the shallow and tastelessness of a harpy. You were the only human on base that had an addictive smell, neither too strong like some women around the base, nor too light like the men who walked these halls. You had the right amount of sweetness and saltiness to you. Sweat and musk didn’t linger on you like they did with men, and flowery and fruity sugar didn’t cling to your skin like it did with the women who sprayed themselves with perfume.

Despite the burning glares Graves and his boys received from the Task Force, he found pleasure in being the source of their jealousy, their stupid possessiveness of a human he could easily turn into one of his to gift immortality and eternal beauty.

Taglist:@craxy-person @crowbird @dead-cipher @iwannabealocalcryptid @iizx7y @mxtokko @yeetusspagheetus @capricorn-anon @perfectus-in-morte @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @tallmanlover @distracteddragoness @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @konigsblog @havoc973 @angelcakes-22 @cassiecasluciluce @ramadiiiisme @ramblingsofachaoticthinker @ki-cant-spel @im-making-an-effort @love-dove-noora @jinxxangel13 @daisychainsinknots @0alk0msan @mul-pi @danielle143 @virginalsacrifice

[sol-consort]

Do you see Wrex and shepard together? Because I low-key think they have like sexual chemistry

OH BOY DO I!

It starts as enemies to firends to lovers, but then quickly spirals into forbidden love territory once he acquires the throne.

Remember that first meeting scene in ME1?

When the Citadel C-sec were too intimidated by Wrex to even dare and hold him down? The krogan assumes all humans tend to cower in front of someone his size.

How Shepard literally marches in there, calls him by his first name, then offers to shake his hand so casually? Full of confidence and poise? Not afraid to meet his eyes.

Yeah, that scene? Every single pixel is flooded with sexual and romantic tension.

Both Paragon and Renegade Shepard have the best chemistry with Wrex full stop.

The scene after it where Wrex deliberately disobeys Paragon Shep command to spare this guy's life, shooting him in the head because "he had a contract" Testing the limit to what this human allows him to get away with, pushing boundaries.

How Shep immediately snaps at him, addressing him down as a commander still despite him disrespecting your authority.

Showing him that this isn't the way things work around here, you won't tolerate this act from him a second time. He already used his one chance, and he better be on his best behaviour going forward.

Genuinely catching Wrex off-guard, he never expected the humans to have barks, let alone the power to follow it with bite. A part of him is even a little ashamed of his action, but he'd rather die than apologise to a human he just met, so he just gives a vague promise not to do it again.

Which might seem small, but to a contractual killer krogan who never trusted a single soul ever since he left his planet young, it's so much more.

The first building blocks to the long bridge of trust being established between them was set by Wrex.

And if you finish his target alone without bringing him along, what does Wrex do? He pays you. He hands you what he views as your rightful share for aiding with his job.

It's established early on that Wrex has honour, he has pride and more self-awareness that anyone would ever expect of him. He keeps his temper in control, is more cunning and logical than people expect of a "krogan"

How he doesn't hesitate to leave a situation when something feels off, his intuition and gut feeling had saved his life countless times.

-

You keep trying to have small talks with him whenever you come down to the dock of your ship, and he just doesn't understand why.

What are your intentions? Is it just curiosity from him being the first Korgan you see? Or are you just digging for information out of mistrust, doubting his abilities as a capable mercenary.

He always hated the employers who kept peering over his shoulders, poking their nose into things that do not concer them.

The job you assigned him will get done, stop bothering him.

In fact, that's why he shares the story about his previous employers. The various times he was ruthless just to get a job done, even when he had to face a friend in combat. Painting himself as a hardened soul.

...so why are you looking at him like that?

See? He has no heart, in fact, despite the three pumping in his chest. So are you convinced yet?

Yes, he is the epitome of the big, strong scary Korgan. The same one all the other species warned you so much about.

Instead of being impressed, intimidated, or both. You look at him with concern, as if he's a bird with broken wings that fell into your palm.

You inquire about his homeplanet.

The usual bitterness that threaten to come out in a pile upwards his throat each time he retells this story...is less severe this time around. It's easier to get out, to go more into details around you.

You never interrupt him, you let him talk. Thoughtfully listening, only speaking when it's your turn.

He doesn't know what to say.

By the end, you...apologise.

For someone to finally acknowledge the wrongs that have been done against his own kind, the injustice the krogans continue to suffer to this day.

A salarian would've gone into a long tangent about why it was a necessary evil, an asari would've offered faux pity before reminding him of the shiny statue in the citadel as if that makes up for the billions of krogan stillborns every year. A turian would've acted as this was a righteous punishment, that krogans should never be trusted until they prove they're capable of civility.

But you, human...Shepard, apologised.

Next time you stop by, he doesn't know why he even brings up the family crest. The rotten armour has been buzzing at the back of his mind like an annoying fly.

Wrex just blurted it out, his tongue loose around you for some reason, something he noticed but was still in denial about–either way, you make a promise to retrieve it.

He snorts.

Okay, he'll believe it when he sees it, Shep.

...

..

.

Standing there in front of the platinum wall locker, Wrex claws tremble as he opens the door. The urge to dislodge the thing from its hinges gnaws at the back of his mind, but he resists it. He knows better than to risk damaging the container of what's supposed to be a centuries old piece of armour.

He can't fucking believe his eyes.

It's there, in his hand. As ugly and vile smelling as he imagined.

And you by his side, you pawny little human who invaded this base like a storm, what a deadly force you are.

For the first time in decades, Wrex is hopeful again. Shepard reignited the flame of determination that always were inside him, the same snuffed out so cruelly by his father that forsaken day.

-

He followed you to Virmire, fully ready to risk his life for your cause. Not out of some obligation or contractual work, but because he believed in it, he believed in you, commander.

So why can't you extend him the same courtesy? Why must you oppose him when a cure is practically at the tip of his fingers?

It pains him as he raises the gun, the same sting he felt the day he drove the knife into his father's chest, the same despair wrangling his heart the day he put a bullet through his only friend's skull.

You expressed your sympathy for the tragedy of his people, didn't you? Or was it just a game of pretend to gain his trust?

So why can't you understand!

You of all people! He thought you would understand better than anyone.

But he doesn't pull the trigger.

You raise your gun, both of you know it won't do shit against him. A krogan shell can endure many bullets before any real damage is done, your squishy skin however? Yeah, not so much so.

No. The gun was akin to a flare instead. Gives a good reason for your crew to come running to your aid, for the salarian special unit to herald a shower of bullets upon him under the guise of "defending the human soldiers"

It will spell his doom in a much more painful way than the simple bullet he planned to plant directly into your heart ever could've.

The singular delicate human heart, how small it must be inside your chest. Yet this one fragile organ infected his three sturdy hearts with its determination.

How you risked your one heart for him that day you helped him retrieve his family crest.

Wrex...

is tried.

Beyond anything, he is so tried and sick of constantly fighting all the time.

He lowers his gun.

Yet the soldiers around you don't lower theirs until you do.

He tries not to let it get under his skin.

He fails.

Swallowing his pride, Wrex recollects the remains of his dignity. He must be in control of his emotions, never show too much fury, otherwise the world will weaponise it against him, claiming this is exactly why krogans don't deserve to join the rest of the galaxy yet.

They can choke on his dick.

-

There are just so many other scenes! I can go on forever.

The biggest one of them all, Grunt and how his whole mission could be interpreted as the best romance subplot between Wrex and Shepard.

Shep finds a Krogan teen who's going through puberty and what's your next course of action? Take him to his homeplanet and visit your ex the Krogan you may or may not have had a situationship with, the one you inspired to change his entire life, to go make a difference in the world.

Shep is Wrex's biggest muse, a nymph from the woods that flipped his world upside down. More deadly and dangerous than all the other warriors he has ever seen, as determined and inspiring as the greatest leaders. The krogan equivalent of a warrior angel.

And what does he do when this Valkyrie whom he thought had died walks back into his life so casually?

He is absolutely rejoiced. Couldn't give less of a shit about Cerberus or anything. Shepard is still Shepard, and you're here, alive, well, in front of him. As gorgeous as the day he lost you.

Not only that, but you came with a child. And you're asking him for guidance and help on raising him? Shepard, you shouldn't toy with a man's heart this much. Otherwise, he'll get the wrong impression.

Wrex practically treats Grunt as his own son and adopts him by the end of the mission. Not only that, but there is a big chance the "mating request" sent in for Shepard afterwards was actually Wrex's.

You get to play family for a day. Your son is just as powerful as you are. Wrex gets a glimpse of what it would've been like to raise him by your side, the life he could've had with Shepard.

But he cannot, he has obligations, ones he actually likes this time around. The krogans need a leader, the planet needs restoration. It's time to take responsibility for the state of his homeworld and not just chalk it up to "how krogans always were" Because that's simply not true.

The women remember it, their art, history, and beautiful complex culture. The men have gone senile with the war, Wrex needs to beat some sense into them. He'll drag all the clans with him to a better life whether they like it or not

And part of him...well. He knows you're the one he wants most, but is he the one you really want? Everyone in your crew is already drooling over you, Wrex is more dignified than to be just another obnoxious suiter chasing after you.

Not to mention, it's part of his job to get married to a krogan so the clans get another leader. You're a human, it will never work out. You have your own life, your own obligations and mission to save the galaxy.

It makes his dream to restore his planet pale in comparison, but Wrex isn't so fragile in his security that he'd get intimidated by that. If anything, it makes him yearn for you even more, admire you whole, impressed by your every achievements that outweigh his, rather than trying to dampen your blinding brightness.

Maybe, in the–hopefully near–future, your children and his can play together on this very same land. But instead of rubble, it will be grassy fields, you and Wrex taking a stroll in the gardens nearby while watching over both of your kids.

And for a moment, Wrex can close his eyes and pretend the ring pressing gainst his skin as he holds your hand, is a one that he gave you.

Would it be Wrex Shepard or would you prefer the Urdnot lastname?

Don't tell him.

He'd rather dream.

He earned it, after all that he sacrificed and everything gave in order to restore the glory to his people, he earned the right to dream.

[shijiujun]

some extra tidbits from the ending of the princess royal in the novel

i do so love when dramas drop the last 8 episodes in a fit a week in advance heh - binge watched the last 10 episodes and ZHAO JINMAI she's so underrated - she 500% portrayed every single crying scene so fucking well omg hard stan istg she needs to be in more historical dramas!! ANYWAY since they ended only on the wedding, here're some cute tidbits from the novel:

li chuan does come back with zhen zhen and THEIR SON li xun a few years later when he's done recording the map, and li rong tries to convince him to leave li xun in the imperial city but li chuan knows imperial city life is not for him, his son, or his little fam so they leave after

as having a female emperor is way too scandalous right, so as with the last episode, li chuan actually takes the throne but on the official day of him taking over, he leaves and leaves a note for li rong to basically be princess regent, and then the excuse he uses is that he will lock himself up in some temple or something to recuperate and rest, and this excuse works for YEARS lmao - then after he comes back and leaves, think he realizes that he really needs to make it official for his sister, so he leaves a edict that passes the throne on to li rong for reals

li rong's first kid is a princess!!! second kid is a son, and princess is actually the crown princess in the future!!!

it's not really shown and i think they changed the script from the lines in the novel, but the last part when li rong asks the emperor's eunuch laifu/fulai (?) who he actually works for or is loyal to, in the drama he said he of course is loyal for the emperor, but in the novel, he said he's loyal to "First Young Master" - and then afterwards when everything has sort of finished he seems to call Pei Wenxuan "First Young Master" (?!) maybe i was hallucinating by then but i recalled being real intrigued LOL and it would explain why the eunuch so readily admitted to PWX that the emperor's health is deteriorating. there's no backstory for that tho hmm

su ronghua actually has to leave the imperial city for a few years because he is after all now head of a criminal family due to su rongqing's rebellion, and as promised, he takes the su family out of the city and he trains the next head of the su family for a few years, and once that's done, he returns to shangguan ya and marries her then

pei wenxuan and li rong continue to bicker and banter for decades after - their younger son who sees his parents arguing for the first time and li rong threatening to divorce pei wenxuan runs to his older sister in a panic, and the older sister is like what? that's normal and everything's fine, but at the boy's insistence, she goes with him to try to "mediate" the argument btw their parents only to arrive and see their parents already PDA-ing with each other, thread of divorce forgotten and their daughter rolls her eyes and tells her brother "all these years do you know how many divorce threats i've heard coming from our parents" LOL

anw super happy with this little sunshine of a drama!! a little sads for su rongqing ;-; UNREQUITED LOVE i cri cri and all the suffering he went through ;-; but every other bad guy who died yall deserve it

[cuppimagines]

A Jolly Odd Christmas- Finale

It's been a year! I'm so so sorry, to all asking, personal matters got in the way and my mental health is at an all time low, so writing and publishing things was a massive chore for me. But it's Christmas, and I felt bad leaving this off on a cliffhanger for a year, SO I found my fic, finished it up, and wanted to finally bring the finale to the folks here who were waiting. I really, truly do hope you enjoy, and I hope your Christmas was lovely. Now we can finally see Krampus and Santa Claus settle things between each other with thanks to the reader!

<- Previous Chapter

The tension here was so thick you’d need a drill to even just breach the surface. The most kind, generous, jolly man in the world according to legends and he was driving this sleigh with a tired scowl on his face, while the man threatening to kill and eat you was looking away, breaking out into a cold sweat. And there you were, stuck in the middle cause neither man wanted to sit directly next to each other. 

“I can’t help but feel that part of this is my fault,” Mr. Claus spoke up. “This seems like a long time coming if I’m gonna be honest.”

“At least you’re self aware, prick,” Krampus grumbled. 

“But were you so desperate to be around a human again that you wanted to kidnap arm candy for yourself? I have these rules set for a reason.”

“Ohh, here we go, but who made the rules, and who in fact agreed to these rules? I certainly didn’t! And a lotta folks on my side of town didn’t! That’s why they’re even there in the first place.” Mr. Claus took one hand off the reins to rub his temple, letting out a long, deep sigh. 

“Think I’ve been avoiding this for too long, so long that now there’s a third party in the picture,” he said, gesturing to you.

“I feel bad being in the middle of all this,” you winced. “Krampus you told me some stuff, Jack Frost told me-”

“You MET Jack Frost?! And you’re alive?” Mr. Claus looked at you, a bit surprised. “I thought he was going to have as much fun killing you as one of those other little yes men that follow Krampus.”

“Oh you would know a thing about yes men wouldn’t you?” Krampus chuckled, more of an angry miffed chuckle than anything. “And goes to show just how much you forget the personalities of your own fuckin friends while you’re sitting all cozy up there on your red and white fur lined throne!”

“You’re being so cocky for a man who was planning to fucking eat this person if they wouldn’t fuck you,” Mr. Claus snapped.

“I never ever insinuated that and you know it! Dating doesn’t always have to include sex you old fuck!”

“You’re the same fuckin age as me!”

“Guys…” you gently spoke up. “Can we do this after we get off a moving vehicle in the sky? It’s bad enough I have to be in the middle of this, but in the middle of this while the ground is so far away…!” Mr. Claus sighed, looking away from the two of you, but then back on the reindeer.

“...I’m terribly sorry,” he said. “I don’t mean to get angry, you’re just the result of a few centuries long tension…and I want to clear some things up when we get to my place.” You saw the giant manor in the distance get closer and closer, you knew you were almost there, so you just sat in silence and waited. And now the silence was even more awkward between you three. Maybe it would’ve been better if they just kept bickering…but you’d be worried that one of them would throw the other off the sleigh…

Once you got off, Mr. Claus almost instinctively wrapped an arm around you, but this time, you nudged yourself away from him. 

“Sorry, last time I saw you in person you were uh…just a disguise.”

“That was you wasn’t it?” Mr. Claus glared over at Krampus, who just scoffed and shrugged.

“It worked pretty good,” he replied. “And knowing you for so long, nobody suspected a goddamn thing.” Mr. Claus let out a scowl. Once the reindeer got their harnesses off, they sprinted off in a few directions, with one prancing up to you just to lean down. You expected just a nuzzle or a lick, but then it whispered at you.

“You’re in for a long haul pal, if you need a quick out, just find one of us,” it whispered. That…weirded you out briefly, but not more than anything else around here, so you just nodded and kept that in mind as it pranced off into the fields. You might need to take that offer, because you walked behind the two just…feeling tense and unsure the entire walk up to the manor. 

“Alright, so, now that I’m not driving anything, I can explain myself,” Mr. Claus said. “This has been a long time coming, but I was worried about this information going public. The reason I made this change admittedly is…rather selfish.”

“Glad to know I was right about that this whole time,” Krampus sneered. 

“I’m not done talking, let me finish,” Mr. Claus held up a finger, as the door to his manor opened up. If it wasn’t for the weird mood in the air, you’d be absolutely stunned at the decor inside. Bright and cheerful, a chandelier hanging above the foyer that bathed the room in a beautiful golden light, the dark wood floors with a massive round red rug, and there was a faint sound of classical music coming from somewhere in the mansion to give it a bit of atmosphere. 

“Uh…beautiful place here,” you spoke up. “It’s really nice.” Mr. Claus broke a smile when he heard that, looking back at you.

“Oh thank you, this was a lot of hard work in the making, but I’m rather happy with how it turned out,” he said. “Now that we’re inside, I can explain everything on the way to my study.” Mr. Claus traveled up the steps, Krampus begrudgingly following behind with his arms crossed, and you just…standing behind in silence to listen.

“It’s been a couple centuries, so this better be a good explanation,” Krampus said.

“Hopefully this will make you understand, but not sympathize, with my reasoning,” Mr. Claus said. “I wanted to talk to you about this for a long time…but I feel bad for hurting a friend, and many other people with my dumb decision.”

“Does that mean you’re just gonna allow him and others to…you know…” you asked.

“No, no we’re never going back to that. Times have changed, children deserve to be respected like they’re people instead of things to be owned and traded. I had to learn that the hard way when…” Mr. Claus let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. 

“So…Krampus, old pal,” he said. “Do you remember the winter of 1789?” 

“Actually…yeah, yeah I do, that was when you were pretty broken up about something,” Krampus answered. “What about that time was so significant?”

“Well…I met someone…” he mumbled. “I know I shouldn’t be catching feelings for a human, but I guess I was vulnerable, and she was sweet…very very sweet…” Mr. Claus seemed to be clutching something in his left pants pocket. “And she had a son. He wasn’t very well behaved, I could imagine it was hard for a single mother to take care of a child that rambunctious…”

“So that’s why you vanished every so often with no word,” Krampus sneered. 

“Yes, yes I did vanish, I was acting as a stepfather of sorts,” Mr. Claus replied. “For being so rambunctious and rowdy, he was such an adorable kid…” Mr. Clause smiled and laughed, but it wasn’t a laugh of joy. It was sad, longing. Missing someone. 

“I never should’ve told Holly who I was…” he sighed. “Maybe I could’ve lied long enough…”

“Wh-what do you mean lie long enough…?” you asked. There was a pit in your stomach. You were afraid of where this was going to go. Mr. Claus paused in front of a rather large double door, before opening it, just by touching it. The doors slowly opened to a massive study, with shelves long and high of multiple scrolls. All scrolls were marked with a year, and the sheer size made your head spin. But one caught your eyes. They were all a soft pale yellow-ish white, possibly due to the fact that they were all made with handmade paper. One however was gray, almost black. Like it was burnt. 

“I tried my best, I thought I was a good stepfather for the brief year I was with her and her son…I really did love her…” he sighed. “I wanted him to behave so so badly, but when the time came and I checked the list, and I swear I checked it twice, I checked it thrice….” Mr. Claus snapped his fingers, and that same gray scroll floated down, right into his hands. 

“What was the kid's name…?” Krampus furrowed his brow. You looked at him and noticed that he did actually look guilty. Genuinely so. 

“Levi Eascott…” Mr. Claus said. “I remember that name even today. He looked just like his mother…” Mr. Claus had his back turned to both you and Krampus, but from his hunched stature and the way his body was shaking, he seemed to be holding back tears. 

“He was taken, I never found out who did it…I didn’t want to know…” he sobbed. “But the Christmas after, Holly looked at me like a monster….she didn’t want me to come near her. I wasn’t an innocent man that night and that’s what makes my guilt hurt even more…” Krampus was shaking too, and not because he was crying. He started to laugh. 

“So…all this because of one mom, and one kid?” he chuckled. “You weren’t at all guilty before this, until it happened to be someone you grew attached to eh?”

“I KNOW!” Mr. Claus’s voice was loud, room shaking, it nearly made you lose your balance just from the sheer power behind it. 

“I was selfish! Every child kidnapped, eaten, made to stew, lost in the forest…” he continued. “They were all someone’s child. Loved, and now they can never, ever have a second chance of becoming a better person…” Mr. Claus turned to look at the two of you, but was looking more so at Krampus. Tears were fogging his glasses up, and his face was twisted into the expression of a truly pathetic, grieving man. 

“Things had to change…” he tried to gain his composure. “I know it was selfish but I did not want those under me to be responsible for another life lost before they had a true chance to live…you’re free to continue to hate me. This is the longest we’ve ever spoken to one another in decades, and I understand if you’d never want to speak to me again. After all…you’re technically out of a job because of me…I’m sorry Krampus…my old friend…” There was a long, uncomfortable pause. You looked to Krampus, to Mr. Claus, and then down at your own feet. The atmosphere was like that of the end of a funeral. It hurt, it hurt a lot more than you expected.

“Nicky, pal,” Krampus spoke up. “I can’t say I’m not mad at you anymore. But…I always knew you had a softer, doughier side to you.” He walked up to Mr. Claus, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

“But you’ve neglected a few folks who are still sour about that sudden change, and it’s been so many fucking years, all you do is ignore us,” Krampus said. “It’s like you’re still grieving.”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever not grieve…” Mr. Claus replied.

“I know that lady, Holly, was she? She died thinking you were some monster. But I think you more than proved you’re willing to change,” Krampus said.

“Mr. Claus…” you spoke up. “I know I shouldn’t be one to talk. You’ve lived so much longer than I ever will…but I can say, you have to find a way to move on. You can’t undo your mistakes, but please…” You also approached, and grabbed onto his hand. He looked at you with a bit of surprise at the sudden motion.

“Please Mr. Claus…” you muttered. “I know you want to take care of however many children there are in the world right now, but also take care of the people here too. Find a way to make things right. I don’t know how, probably never will, but mend the relationships you have now, and probably will have for a long time…” 

“I…” Mr. Claus looked down at you, then over to Krampus. His eyes furrowed with frustration and sadness. Not at anybody else in the room except for himself. 

“After business is over and done with, I’m going to hold a conference, I think cutting half of the population off from the rest of the world was…well it was a bad idea…”

“Well thank fuckin heavens you’re realizing that now, only took me being a total asshole for you to get it through your thick fuckin skull!” Krampus tapped the side of Mr. Claus’s head when those last three words were uttered. “And you’re taking me too!”

“First, let me just say here, I’m terribly sorry, terribly terribly sorry…” Mr. Claus frowned. “An apology isn’t enough, in fact it’s just step one. I want to make things right, it’s foolish of me to only want to do that when you take a few steps too far.”

“Does that mean I can at least keep the human?” Krampus looked at you, but you crossed your arms and huffed at that request.

“Absolutely not,” Mr. Claus poked the dead center of Krampus’s chest. “But…well, um, you dearie.” He turned to you.

“This is something I’d never thought I’d be doing, but I consider this extending an olive branch to my dear long time friend. So…how would you like to visit on occasion? Not often, once a year. The only caveat to that is that you must never, ever, ever tell anybody you know where you go once a year.”

“Well…uh…” You thought about it for a moment. This was an opportunity that initially, you could never even dream of. Something this magical, fantastical, something you couldn’t believe. It would be absolutely stupid of you to say no.

“I accept your offer,” you nodded. “I wanna see this place when you try and fix stuff with the people here, Mr. Claus.”

“Then it’s settled!” The doors to the room opened, letting in an odd amount of cold air, and stepping in was Jack Frost, an uncharacteristically big smile on his face as he approached the group.

“Oh it’s been so long! It’s great to see you two settling things like grown men, practically brings a tear to my eye!” Jack Frost grinned. “I wanted to join in and reunite with my old buddies!”

“Piss OFF you lazy geezer!” Krampus yelled. “You didn’t earn your right to join us!”

“Oh just let him, we’ll have a nice, long discussion later,” Mr. Claus held his head in his hand, while Jack Frost walked up to both men to give them kisses on their cheeks, which left a small thin layer of frost on both of them as he did. 

“I think for now, it’s high time we take the human back home, this will be very energy costly, but I’ll just keep some lights off around the manor for a few days because of that,” Mr. Claus rubbed his hands together. “I can handle walking around with a candle for that long.”

“So…how do we get me back home?” you asked. 

“First, we take you to bed.” 

“Take me to bed??”

“Cmon tiny! Beddy time!” At that, Krampus lifted you up off your feet, carrying you caveman style with him. “Hey, you renovated quite a bit here big guy, where’s your bedroom?”

“Same as it’s always been,” Mr. Claus said. You were led by all three men up to a bedroom. A massive, sparkling, cozy bedroom with a bed larger than life with plush red blankets. 

“Let’s get you into some comfier clothes too,” Jack Frost snapped his fingers, and like he had worked his magic before, he placed you in an old unisex Victorian nightgown. Rather long, but not uncomfortable, definitely cozy enough to sleep in. It was awkward being laid down in bed by three men all at once and tucked in, but not any more awkward or odd than the few things you’ve been experiencing this entire time. 

“So…how does this work?” you asked as you pulled the covers up. 

“You lay there, you fall asleep, and you wait,” Mr. Claus said. “If you were awake during any of this as a human, the headache caused by the sudden rush of magic would probably make your brain bleed out your nose.” Oh.

“I’ll assist in helping you fall asleep,” Jack Frost placed both his hands on the sides of your heads. “Close your eyes and relax, okay?”

“I’ll assist by shutting the fuck up,” Krampus gave one final thumbs up, and you just closed your eyes, waiting for something to happen. You could sense the chilling fingers of Jack Frost on your head, but they steadily grew warmer, and with that you felt a deeper sense of comfort and ease. 

“Hey uh, before you finally fall asleep-”

“You said you were going to shut up.”

“Let me SPEAK Geezer! Anyway uh…I’m sorry for bringing you here, but thanks. You just being here helped me see a friend I haven’t seen in a long, long time.”

“Krampus…I love you so much. I really did miss you…”

“I missed you guys too! The three of us! Back together as pals!” There was a smile on your face as your consciousness slowly drifted off. Even if this was all a dream or a hallucination, or a vision while you were in a coma, it was all a nice once. Odd, dangerous a few times, but an experience you were sure was unique to you as a human. You wanted to thank them, but your mind was already drifting off, and before you knew it, you had fallen into a deep, deep sleep…

—

You shot up out of bed. It was midnight, the snow was raging outside, and you took a look over at the alarm on your phone as a notification got it to light up. It was exactly three weeks till Christmas. You assumed what all that was was a dream. A long, elaborate, at times erotic dream. All those adventures were nothing but your imagination going wild. That is, until you looked down at what you were wearing to bed. 

A Victorian unisex nightgown…

None of that was a dream. You’ve never owned anything like this before in your life.

There was a knock at your bedroom door. The knob slowly turned, and the door creaked open bit by bit. Anybody else would be afraid, scared some dangerous home intruder was coming into your home. But you felt it wasn’t the case. This was something far more different.

“Heyyyy there baby~!” Krampus had opened the door, leaning against the frame with a cheeky grin and his massive, longer than life tongue hanging from his mouth. “I heard a very very special little human was on the nice and naughty list, all at the same time~! Now how did you manage to do that?” Following right behind, Mr. Claus had a coy smirk on his face, and was dressed in a red silk robe, tied tightly around his rather large gut, with his white chest hair peeking out from the bright red fabric. 

“Krampus talked me into this,” he said. “It’s been a long, long time since either of us shared a little human as a plaything. Of course, this time, you can say no any time you want.”

“A little magic soundproofed this entire room~!” Krampus slowly approached. “So you get to scream all you want without anybody else hearing~!” Your eyes went wide, your expression flushed, but with a silent, excited nod and a smile on your face, you started to take off your nightgown, but Krampus stopped you.

“Ah ah ah, remember what I said to you when we first met?” he asked. “3 or 4 whacks for nearly breaking my nose!” Oh…oh yeah. Krampus sat on the bed, patting his lap, and you quickly obeyed him by laying on your stomach in his lap. 

“Good…good, doing what you’re told~!” Mr. Claus waved his finger, and as he was about to sit, a chair appeared under him to rest. “It’s been so long, I wanna really see a master at his work.” He had a similar coy, devilish smile on his face to Krampus, as if you were yet again staring at Krampus in disguise as him. 

“Alright, let’s start the count!” Krampus raised his hand, holding you firmly yet snugly with his other, and with a swift motion, you felt a sharp SMACK across your ass, causing a tiny yelp to come from your throat. 

“Hey! You were supposed to count to one!” Another sharp smack. “I said count, next time I better hear you count.” At the third smack, you yelped, but you very quietly began to speak up.

“Th-three…” you moaned.

“No no, we’re starting over, this next spank is your new first one. Now then…”

SMACK!

“O-one…!”

SMACK!

“Twoooo…”

SMACK!

“Th-th-threeeee…”

“Oh lemme see how red you’re getting~!” Mr. Claus approached to grab your nightgown, lifting it up to expose your absolutely bright glowing red ass for the both of them. Once the breeze hit you, you realized that Jack Frost didn’t leave any underwear down there for you, the cheeky bastard. You were completely bare and exposed once the gown was lifted. 

“Hooo wee! Good lord you’ve got the perfect ass for this!” Krampus cheered. “I could make this thing as red as your big stupid suit, old man!” 

“Now now, can’t keep being this harsh, gotta be gentle too,” Mr. Claus knelt down in front of you, gently stroking your face. Tears stung the corners of your eyes from the force of Krampus’s large, hardened hands, but from the way your legs rubbed together, and the way your cheek nuzzled into Mr. Claus’s hand, you were more than happy to accept your “punishment.”

“Ohhh baby look at you,” Mr. Claus smiled, kissing you gently on the forehead. When he pulled back, the smile was just as sinister as it was earlier.

“I love that look in your eyes, how submissive you’re being for both of us. Ohhhh how I truly, honestly missed this!” You could feel Krampus’s hands rub and squeeze your ass, moving down in between your thighs, gently spreading them apart before rubbing a calloused finger against you. He was going slow, his touch a lot softer against your increasingly wet entrance. Your legs twitched, toes curling at the sensation, you went to reach up to grab hold of Krampus, grabbing onto his rather built, muscular arm he was using to hold you down.

“Heh, trimmed my claws just for this sweetheart~” Krampus purred. “How about thankin’ me?” 

“Th-thaaaank you…thank you Krampussss….” you whined, bucking your hips against his hand. Mr. Claus took that chance to lean in for a nice, pleasant, soft kiss against your lips, grabbing the back of your head to keep you pressed firmly against his lips. He had such a lovely, pleasant odor. He smelled like cloves, cinnamon, a hint of cocoa…You moaned against his lips, savoring the kiss oh so lovingly. When both men pulled away, you kicked your legs a bit in protest, trying to pull Mr. Claus back in while bucking your hips at nothing. 

“Hey hey, patience, dollface!” Krampus gave you a less harsh spank on the rear to try and discipline you. “Get up, lay down and keep your head on the edge of the bed.” You got up with Krampus, and went to crawl back on the bed, with your head leaning just off the edge. You were curious about what they both had planned, and while upside down, you kept on glimpsing at Mr. Claus as he took off the robe, letting it fall off his body onto the floor. For a man who you assumed physically is quite up there in age, he had quite the body. A massive, burly, big bellied frame, his entire body covered in curly white hair that contrasted against his dark skin. He was actually just as, if not more muscular than Krampus by taking a look at his pretty sizable arms and biceps, and to complete all of that, he was very, very bottom heavy, his thighs probably twice, or three times your own size, with a very thick, fat, but short cock dangling between his legs. You had hoped you hadn’t started drooling looking at Mr. Claus disrobe, but he seemed to notice a dazed, mesmerized expression on your face, and couldn’t help but chuckle under his breath. A very soft, subtle “ho ho ho~!” Of course. 

“You know you don’t just have to stare, how well can you hold your breath, gumdrop?” Mr. Claus approached you, at first straddling your face with his massive, plush thighs, before he fully got comfortable as he sat completely on your face. Oh no, oh he was right, this was a really tight, snug spot to be in, but you were sure you could take this.

“Hey now, don’t suffocate this one, I don’t wanna lose a human to your fat ass,” Krampus sneered, though you heard it very muffled from your position.

“Oh hush,” that was all Mr. Claus said, as his breath caught in his throat and his shoulders shot up suddenly. He was surprised at how quick you were getting to him, tongue already licking up and down his hole, licking circles around it and giving his ass quick, excited kisses. 

“Ohhhhh fuck you learn fast!” he moaned. “Fuuuucking hell you’re good at this I can tell~!” 

“I bet you missed that feeling huh, gramps?” Krampus climbed up in between your legs, bringing his face downwards, with his tongue falling out of his mouth. You couldn’t see it, but you could feel him. You could feel the rough palms of his hands digging into your flesh as they held your thighs open, the warm unfamiliar wetness that licked down your stomach, and slowly reaching in between your legs. His tongue was loooong, and dexterous in a way that made you dizzy when you felt it push past your entrance and lick as deep inside of you as it could go. Your moans were muffled under the thighs and ass of Mr. Claus, but your squirming was evident of the pleasure you felt from Krampus’s tendril of a tongue.

“Hey uh…oh fuck, keep doing whatever you’re doing to them…!” Mr. Claus moaned, grinding himself against your face so hard you could feel your neck aching trying to support all of that weight. Mr. Claus reached down, gripping his cock with both hands to jerk himself off, while his ass swayed back and forth against your face, grinding and shaking and thrusting, while Krampus got to work with his tongue exploring every inch it could inside of you. You could feel his tongue curling and shifting and bunching up inside you, moving in ways that felt oh so odd and oh so good all at once. 

Eventually, you locked your legs together, even surprising Krampus with how tight you kept a grip on his head, keeping him there to the point where his nose was pressed into your crotch. With him that deep inside you, your hips bucked against his face more and more feverishly, your head buzzing and spinning with pleasure. With how deep you could feel Krampus’s tongue your own tongue seeming much more small and feeble in comparison, even though Mr. Claus was moaning as loudly as you wanted to in this moment. 

You could feel Krampus wanting to pull away, he didn’t want you to cum so quickly, but you didn’t allow him. Even though he was way, way stronger than you and could easily pull you off of him, he let you more forcefully keep you there as you came against his face. He easily let you ride out your orgasm on his face, while Mr. Claus let out a sudden gasp, and at that second something very warm and wet hit your chest, staining the top half of your nightgown.

“Can…can you still breathe down there…?” Mr. Claus finally let go of you, and by then most of your body went limp as you tried to catch your breath. 

“Oh…I can…I can breathe…” you panted, giving a shaky thumbs up. “H-holy shit…”

“Hey now, you sound like you’re done, we’ve still got some energy left!” This time, Mr. Claus was the one manhandling you. He helped you off the bed, only to grab you and bring you down to your knees, right in front of him. Even though his cock was dripping from his orgasm, it stood back at full mast, erect and twitching with excitement. You opened your mouth up wide, tongue falling out of your mouth in anticipation. Mr. Claus was gentle with you, holding his cock in his hands before with a few slow, careful thrusts filled up your mouth and throat with his cock. It wasn’t long, but it was nice and thick, so you didn’t gag, but your jaw stretched and ached as you bobbed your head up and down against him. 

You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to relax and listen to Mr. Claus’s deep, shaky moans and gasps, but your eyes immediately shot back open when you felt your entire bottom half lift off the ground. Krampus had grabbed you from behind, a wicked smile on your face as his cock slapped against your back. Oh no, oh that felt massive…

“Ooo wee, looks like it might not fit…” Krampus whistled in surprise. “Ahhh fuck it, I’m sure I can make it fit~”

“Be…oh god…be careful Krampus…” Mr. Claus moaned, gently grabbing a fistful of your hair. 

“Oh as if you were careful when you parked your fat fucking ass on them and nearly suffocated this poor little human~!” Krampus purred. “I know they can take it~!” He made sure to have a nice, tight grip on your legs and hips, and your arms tried their darndest to wrap around Mr. Claus, but your grip tightened considerably when, in one fell thrust, Krampus managed to shove every last long, thick, veiny inch into you. The force of his thrust only cause your face to press right up against Mr. Claus, your moans yet again muffled under his weight. 

“I told you~! I can make it fit!” Krampus moaned, the force of his thrust every single time forcing you to bump up against Mr. Claus, drooling and gagging on his cock while your lower stomach bulged from the size of Krampus inside of you. 

Both men made sure to keep a tight grip on you, completely spitroasting you between the two of them and treating you like a sturdy, durable fleshlight. 

“Ohhh I really missed this…!” Mr. Claus moaned. “I missed this so so fuckin much…!” In the heat of things, he leaned in as close as he could to Krampus, grabbing him by one shoulder to pull him in for a kiss. A deep, longing kiss that shocked Krampus just from the sudden force of it. But that seemed to make their hips move faster and harder, any harder and they would crumple you between them. Mr. Claus kept one hand off of you, instead using that to keep Krampus pulled into the kiss. It was almost like during that kiss both men forgot about you down there, and just saw you as the toy they were sharing between them. You could feel your thighs growing slick from each thrust, while drool trickled down your chin and your brain felt scrambled each time Mr. Claus’s hips bucked against your face. 

“Fuck…fuck fuck fuck…!” Krampus pulled from the kiss, hips growing more erratic, hungrier, more feverish. Both men were in a pleasured, excited daze, pushing your body past its limits. 

“I-I’m gonna cum, sugarplum…just tap me if you wanna pull away, at any time…!” That was a warning from Mr. Claus. Both men were close, very close, and you were ready for both of them to cum at any time, and yet you didn’t stop or urge either of them to stop. Mr. Claus was waiting for your warning, a sign that he needed to pause to let you breathe, but he gasped and cried out in pleasure when a rush of semen filled your throat. Just mere seconds later you heard a loud, guttural roar coming from Krampus, and from both ends, you were absolutely stuffed to the brim. Your throat felt warm, your stomach felt warm, and the rest of your body went completely limp in response. 

The room was silent. Once you were let go, all that was audible was the shared heavy breathing from all three of you in the room. 

“H- ho ho holy shit…I need a breather…” Mr. Claus finally said. 

“Best night I’ve had in years…” Krampus moaned. “Thanks, to both of ya. It ain’t Christmas yet, but this might be the best gift I’ve gotten in forever…” Krampus scooped you up, and you just let him carry you, while you rested in his arms. Mr. Claus smiled and gave your cheek a small pat. 

“Come on, let’s get you to take a bath…” he said. “And uh…thank you. I should say it more to you, especially if you’re going to visit us more often.” Earlier you were convinced you were dreaming up this entire thing, but now, now you know better. None of your dreams felt this real, this sweet, this comforting. Somehow you just felt safe, at ease with both men helping take care of you after this. 

What a night…

—

And a night you could hardly forget by the time Christmas finally came around. In lieu of being with family, all of your closest friends came to your house for an all day Christmas party, where gifts and meals alike were exchanged. 

Your friends had all gathered, just as the afternoon came around, however the doorbell rang again. Huh? You had sworn everyone was here already.

“Coming! Coming!” When you answered the door, what greeted you was a group of men. A group of very familiar, but very human men, all of them were holding gifts and tupperwares of food. 

“Merry Christmas y/n!” the very short older man grinned. 

“I hope you don’t mind us stopping by!” the pale man with dark roots peeking out from behind his icy blue dyed hair exclaimed. 

“Oh? Oh are you friends with y/n?” one of your friends peeked out from behind you, curious about the new guests.

“We’re work friends!” one of the two large, muscular twins grinned, giving a thumbs up, while his darker haired twin started entering the house already. 

“Y-yeah! Work friends!” you nervously spat out, letting them inside once one of the twins let himself in.

“I hope we didn’t keep you waiting for too long, pipsqueak!” A tanned skinned, scruffy man chuckled, standing right next to a curly white haired older gentleman. Once everyone else’ back was turned, the white haired older man leaned down to whisper into your ear. 

“We took the time out to visit, I hope you don’t mind,” he whispered, before planting a big kiss on your cheek. You didn’t answer, but instead smiled at the group, letting them come in and already get friendly with the rest of your friend group. You probably weren’t going to have many normal Christmas celebrations for the rest of your life, but to be honest? You wouldn’t want it any other way at this point.

[aackxrmxn]

〘 Thorin Oakenshield 〙

It’s Over!

A/N: Haven’t been on this account for a while! I think it’s time I get back into writing, and what better way than to start off writing with Thorin Oakenshield! Thank you so much for 700 followers!

Warnings: Angst, Thorin through his dragon sickness.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ♛ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

“Am I not the King?” Thorin yelled, his voice echoing through the newly reclaimed Erebor. A lump formed in my throat as I looked down at the pavement; smooth and cold under my feet.

I had just woken up and I’m already being yelled at. I had had enough of this! My hands balled into fists as I fought back the tears threatening to spill. Balin stepped forwards then, and I had almost forgotten he was beside me to begin with. He placed a comforting hand in my shoulder and I look at him with teary eyes and smile weakly.

All this began with me asking him if he could come to bed tonight, seeming he hadn’t come to bed at all the past few nights. His chambers were luxurious but it was cold and too big for one person. Being a human, we always preferred to be outside rather than being cooped up in a mountain. I didn’t mind though, as long as I was welcome to stay at Erebor, that’s where I would stay.

A sigh fell from my lips as I gave up trying to fight with Thorin, he wasn’t budging and something about being surrounded by all this gold was making him sick in the head.

“It doesn’t matter, if he doesn’t want to spend time with me I might as well go back home.” I spoke to Balin, wanting Thorin to hear and be scared by the fact I was thinking about going home. I really didn’t want to go home, but if that’s what it took for Thorin to come to his senses than so be it.

What Thorin said next made my heart sink into my stomach. “Go then, go back home because I don’t ever want to see you again! Our courtship is over!”

“Thorin!” Balin exclaimed loudly, his hand slipping from my shoulder as he took the steps up to Thorin sitting on his throne. “Don’t say that about Y/N, she’s been nothing but supportive and helpful to us, to you! She helped us reclaim Erebor and without her we wouldn’t have been able to do such a thing.”

My gaze met Thorin’s, his once loving blue eyes had turned dark and unrecognisable. I wanted to believe the old him was in there somewhere but I couldn’t find it.

I tried my best not to cry, I really did, but a single tear fell down my cheek as I managed to keep my eyes on him. “Fine,” My voice shaky as the realisation came down on me - Thorin didn’t want to court me any longer. “I’m going back home then, and trust me Thorin, you won’t ever see me again.”

I spun on my heels, Balin calling out to me but I simply kept walking. My feet made a quick left where I almost smacked into someone, a gasp falling from my lips. I look up and see the whole Company standing there, Dwalin standing first.

They all had this look on their face, they were upset… upset that their once future queen was now leaving them. Tears filled my eyes again, this time I had no strength to hold them back and Bofur realised this and bought me into a hug, rubbing my back gently.

“I’m sorry, I-I can’t do this anymore… not with who he has become… I can’t.” I whispered the last part as all my strength and energy had simply vanished. “I really hope you guys have the best time here, I really do. I really want you guys to be at peace, but my peace isn’t here… not anymore.”

“To hell with him,” Dwalin spoke then. “You can be at peace without him, he clearly doesn’t want ya but that don’t mean you can’t stay here.” He had this fury in his eyes, more so than ever before.

I was stuck, I wanted to be here, I did, but I knew deep down it would kill me to live with Thorin and not be with him.

“I-I… I can’t, I’m sorry…” It hurt me.

Dwalin took a moment before he nodded his head. “I understand ya. We just… we’ve just grown to love ya like our queen.” He head hung, clearly sad but not wanting to show it.

I didn’t hesitate to hug him, he seemed stiff but he soon relaxed into the hug. “I’ll miss you and your grumpiness.” I laughed, trying to make everyone a bit happier. “I truly thought you wanted to kill me when we first met, but I now know you really want to kill everyone, not just me.”

He laughed at that, as did some others, but some did not. Fili and Kili both had a somber look to them. “We’ll miss you Auntie,” Kili said, bringing me into a hug.

I wanted to tell him I wasn’t his ‘Auntie’ any longer, but I didn’t want to make him feel bad so I smile at him and kissed his forehead. That’s when I heard a shout from Thorin who was still talking with Balin.

“Right,” I said then, trying my best not to feel sad anymore. “My bag is in Thorin’s room, I’m going to grab that and go while he is here.” I didn’t want to see him right now. I mean, I wanted to, but not like the way he is now.

I looked at the Company once more, tears coming to my eyes again, but I turned so none of them could see me and began to walk.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Someone snarled, grabbing my arm and yanking me to their body harshly. I winced, and out of instinct, I pushed them away. Hair fell in my face as I stumbled back into Bofur.

Thorin glared down at me, going to grab me again but I moved away. “No Thorin, you wanted me gone and that’s what I’m doing… going! You and your stupid gold filled mountain is yours and when you finally come to your senses, I hope you are filled with so much regret and guilt possible! You are changed Thorin!” I laughed then, tears streamed down my face. “You know I’m glad you said you didn’t want to court me anymore because I don’t love you! Not anymore!”

It was a lie, I loved him and I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving him.

“You can have your stupid coat back, you can have your stupid bead back too!” I grabbed the bead securing the courting braid in my hair and threw it at Thorin. It bounced off his chest and to the floor where it rolled and stopped somewhere off the side. “Goodbye Thorin.” I grumbled and turned on my feet and ran off towards his chambers.

The heavy and luxurious dress Thorin insisted I wore the night before fluttered behind me as I ran. I felt like I was suffocating in it, I wanted to tear it off.

When I got to his chambers I quickly packed my things, not wanting to see him again, making sure to leave the fur coat he had given me to keep warm on his bed.

The silence was deafening as I packed, tears sliding down my cheeks. I don’t know how I would get back home, perhaps I would ask the people of Laketown to let me use a boat in exchange for some gold. With all the gold in this mountain, I would take some for myself; it’s what I deserved after all.

Loud boots filled the atmosphere then and they gradually got louder. My eyes widened as I realised the familiar sound of Thorin nearing. I panicked and grabbed my belongings and hid behind the cabinet to not be seen, wondering what he would do when he was alone with me… I didn’t want to know the hurt I would go through.

“Y/N!” I held my breath as Thorin entered the room and I could see him staring at something… the coat on the bed. “Where are you?” He sounded distant, like he was talking to himself.

He sat on the bed, grabbing the coat and bringing it to his face, like he was smelling it. My eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

As he bought the coat down and I saw tears in his eyes. “Fuck, what have I done?” I wanted to come out, but I decided to stay hidden for a little while to see what he would do. The coat was thrown to the floor, and his hand covered his face and a broken sob came from his throat.

My feet moved beneath me against my will and they moved over to where Thorin was sitting at the edge of the bed. Tears filled my eyes as my hand reached up to move a piece of hair away from his face. He jumped, grabbing my arm and looking up at me.

“Y-Y/N?” He asked, his blue eyes red and puffy. “I-I’m so sorry.” He voice broke as he nuzzled the side of his face into my warm palm.

He sobbed then and kissed the inside of my wrist while his other arm snaked around my waist and bought me close to his body. “Thorin…” I started.

“Forgive me, please forgive me.” He cried, “I didn’t mean… anything. I didn’t-“

“Thorin.”

“Please, I’m sorry.”

“Thorin shut up for a minute.” He stopped, looking at me with teary eyes and his bottom lip quivered slightly. “You have been the biggest asshole to me, and for what? Gold? The throne? The stupid Arkenstone?”

“I’m-“

“No, you’re not getting forgiven Thorin. You didn’t realise the damage you’ve done to me, to our relationship.” I could feel his fingers playing at the string holding my dress together. “Thorin, you hurt me.” I mumbled as I wiped away fresh tears.

“Amrâlimê, I will do anything to make it up to you.” He whispered, both his hands running up and down my sides. I didn’t trust me voice and just nodded as he bought me closer and wrapped his arms around me.

I nuzzled into his neck and sighed, relaxing against his warm skin. I pulled away then, grabbing the sides of his face, noticing the crown still on his head. I frowned and grabbed it, taking it off his head and throwing it across the room. I smile warmly as I saw the same loving glint of Thorin’s eyes looking at me, grabbing the sides of his face again and leaning in for a kiss.

He smiled into the kiss, his hands placed firmly on my hips. “Don’t do this again, it’s your last warning.” I spoke against his lips.

“I won’t amrâlimê, I promise.” He said, not opening his eyes still, forehead against mine. “I will make you Queen under the mountain and treat you with such grace.”

You shifted in his embrace, “so…?”

“So what?”

“You don’t regret courting me?” I whispered.

Thorin pulled away from me slightly, “not ever.”

[sketchedboba]

"A Green Queen" AU Short

"Assembling"

In a news station along the coast of Rainbow Road. An interview is conducted in the studio of

"So your highness, what's it like having the King and Queen of the Koopas over?", A Koopa with a microphone and headset asks.

"They're such a lovely couple! I'd expect nothing less from such mighty powers, but I would've thought the King would marry someone less... Fragile?", he sighed, feigning distress. "To think they'd leave magnificent and strong troops under the leadership of.. this poor individual. I pity the King, truly.."

"Uh huh... Well your highness, putting the Darkland information aside, intel from your troops in the Mudai Kingdom have speculation to believe that the Princess is staging an attack for the throne! Do you feel threatened by such bold statements?"

He glared at the Koopa, unimpressed. "Heh.. my father easily thwarted her and her silly little castle. As a young cub, seeing her plead for mercy from my father should be a warning to her. The throne is nothing but secure, if anything were to occur, so to answer your question: No."

"Nothing but confidence! G-Good to hear.", The newscaster glanced over at the lakitu ushering him to hurry it along. "N-Now for our last question... Your pendant. At your coming of age ceremony, you were given it by your advisor. Most of the public knows of its power, but wonder what spells were strong enough to wipe out armies, destroy a castle, and cause such a strong leader to grovel at the fee-er- paws of a King."

Khufo gave a cheeky grin, playfully swinging his tail, "I think leaving that to the imagination would be best, hm? I know my enemies are watching closely, so to disclose such information-"

The screen turned black as the stand vendor leaned over his stall, "Are you gonna trade it for something or what?"

"O-Oh, right! Sorry, uh... Do you like mushrooms?", Mario laughed nervously.

The stone creature grunted, "not much use for it here. What else ya' got?"

"A few power ups... Water, maybe some apples?"

"Hm, if you get at least five, I'll give you the shell."

"Got it!".

Mario tried to whistle the yoshi over but it simply stared at him as it ate an apple. "Hey don't eat that!"

It rolled its eyes and strolled over. Mario reached into his stash, "First the shell, then I'll give you the bag. Deal?"

"Fine fine.", The vendor grumbled. They placed the hollowed Koopa shell onto the stone board. "Apples, pipsqueak."

Mario reached out to pick up the shell, "let me try it on first-"

"A-UH, nope! You trade it or no deal!"

"Ugh.. ok..", Mario pulled out the sack and handed it over the counter. The vendor smiled and handed over the shell before gazing at the sack happily.

The small plumber started to put his feet through the holes near the bottom and squeezed his guy into the narrow opening. "Is there no easier way to get this on?!"

The vendor glanced over and pointed to a small hinge on the side of the shell.

"There's a latch separating the lower and upper halves, genius."

Mario began taking it off midway just to check and as he unhooked it the shell opened. "Huh.. do they all have this? Why would they.."

"Nope, I made it myself for customers, an easier way to sell em."

"Oh ok, that makes sense. Wait.. where'd you get this from? Aren't they attached to-"

"Have a nice day kid.", The vendor munched. They chewed messily, leaving Mario to stare in disgust.

"Uh-huh... Thanks, I think?.."

He grabbed the yoshi's reins and started off to the next vendor, he finally had confirmation on where his brother was with the beast. He wasn't sure how long they'd stay until setting off again. He'd hope he could at least check if his brother was ok before they departed to who knows where.

'He better not have laid a claw on him. I can't have him hurting anymore.'

Canonicity is up for interpretation.

Author's note:

It's meee!! I just wanted to clarify a bit that there will be some ocs included into the fanfic and that once the school year begins, chapters will slow down a bit. I will try to finish as many as possible before then, so you're all not waiting months for a new chapter.

On a brighter note, new art pieces will be made for this au and posted onto here and exclusives along with ref sheets will be up on Ko-Fi by the second week of August for simple donations! They'll also be up in September if you don't want to pay for early access! I'll be happy just sharing these tbh you'll also probably see landscape art for some scenes in chapters as well, so stay tuned.

Last, but not least. Don't forget to drink water n take care of yourselves. Peace out ✌️

[argisthebulwark]

speaking of npcs who fall in love with the dragonborn: ulfric stormcloak

sure it’sa selfish, sorta cersei lannister kind of love, but still. he wants her, he needs her.

at first he pretends it’s all about the cause, having the dragonborn on his side when taking over skyrim? it would be a tremendous advantage. nothing else could convince the people like that, not some crown, not the moot, nothing. Who would unite the people like the person who’s saved so many of them? it’s about the cause, ulfric says, even when galmar asks him about it. but like, the man has eyes and he can see his best friend is mentally twirling like a little school girl

ur so real for this. ulfric has always been my enemies to lovers type of guy because i want to beat the shit out of him so badly.

it's sfw, i just know people have strong opinions about ulfric and dont want to plague the dash.

"Are you sure about this?" Galmar's voice sounded unsteady. The Dragonborn eyed him carefully from where she lounged in Ulfric's throne. He had no clue why she chose to sit there after complaining that it made her ass sore.

"Of course I'm sure." Ulfric's voice echoed through the hall and he just knew she was rolling her eyes. "The Dragonborn is an important asset to our cause. Tullius has no one left who can use the Thu'um."

"But she's a Mer."

"If you're going to speak ill of me, would you like to test who's stronger?" The Dragonborn's posture was relaxed but Ulfric heard the threat in her voice. She'd been waiting impatiently to pick a fight with Galmar since entering the city. "I could have you on your ass before you even think to draw that axe."

Ulfric told himself that it was all for his cause. The fact that he found the Dragonborn charming had no sway over his decision. The panic he felt when she threatened to leave was purely concern over how she could solidify his standing against the Empire. It had nothing to do with his unexpected need to keep her close.

Only under the cover of night would Ulfric allow himself to indulge in thoughts of her. He should've known she was the Dragonborn after the scene in Helgen. No matter how badly he wanted to claim Alduin's interruption was on his behalf he knew that it was her, it had always been for her.

He thought about the angry blush in her cheeks and the little divot between her brows when she shouted at him. He couldn't recall the last time he'd felt as alive as when he bickered with the Dragonborn. Something about her left him craving more - one more disagreement, one more day together, one more snarled insult at Galmar.

He loved seeing her in his throne despite every instinct screaming to throw her out for her insolence. She was challenging him to push back but he would give in to her. He knew that once the war ended he'd likely be giving her more than a throne but couldn't be bothered to think about it just yet.

It was unsettling how badly he wanted her. Ulfric was shocked by the realization that he'd placed the Dragonborn only three chambers away. His imagination ran wild with dreams of her sneaking into his bedroom. Some ended in her knife pressed to his throat and others with her slipping between his covers. He could hardly imagine how good she would look at his side, how much goodwill wedding the Dragonborn would earn him with citizens. It would strengthen his cause, of course.

Did she dream of him too? Sometimes Ulfric found her gaze lingering and wondered if she felt the same thrill in fighting him. She was perfectly capable of leaving the Palace but chose to threaten him with her departure instead, forcing him to ask her to stay with him. She was driving him mad.

Ulfric didn't notice the way he began gravitating to her. Instead of calling her into whatever room or conversation when needing her he simply remained by her side. It was comforting to have her in his sight - because they had to remain united. For the Stormcloaks. He needed to remain close to her.

"You're sure this is all for the rebellion?" Galmar asked, arms crossed disapprovingly over his chest. Ulfric could hardly admit his feelings to himself, he would never utter a word of them aloud.

"Of course." Ulfric lied through his teeth and continued to glare at the Dragonborn. "All for the cause."

[houseaeducan]

@prohalla

Do you think if the origins coup didn’t happen that your aeducan would be better or worse then bhelen, harrowmont, or trian as the queen

love this question ty... it's a bit tricky with daera because she never actually planned on becoming queen of orzammar -- she's pretty uninterested in politics and always felt pretty content with the idea of focusing her energy on her position as commander under whichever of her brothers ended up on the throne. she'd play the game to undermine and fuck with them a bit as sibling antics and because you need to if you're going to last, but bhelen moved against her more because he knew that she would turn against him once she realized he committed fratricide and less because he thought she would actually contend for the throne. she could have! the assembly liked her! but the assembly liked her because she was naturally charismatic and an incredibly promising warrior, and being good with a sword and at parties doesn't translate to legitimate political ability.

if she ended up in some sort of designated survivor situation where her father and brothers were all killed then i think she'd be ??? okay?????? as queen? the biggest problem would be that she'd be deeply uninterested in it, and i imagine she would end up pushing a lot of the day-to-day decision-making onto her advisors (who in this case would probably be harrowmont so. lol.) when she actually did get involved, i think she would do Fine but not particularly challenge the system in any way. for reference, like, in her origin she told that noble guy to stop harassing the scholar guy (agkjhag its been a year since I've played the aeducan origin can you tell), but also told the scholar guy to keep the false history in the shaperate. no use harassing someone just doing his job, but it's not use rocking the boat when it threatens a noble house's pride. she was open to the idea of restoring titles to some surfacers for the benefit of orzammar, but amended her position to "yeah we should respect the surfacers or whatever but they gave up their right to be here" as soon as she learned there would be political ramifications she didn't like. she's not as much of a strict traditionalist as harrowmont would be, and is pretty open to the idea of the casteless being like, people, but i think making any actual moves to reform or push back on reform would depend very heavily on whether her allies thought it was a good move strategically

the one place i do think she'd do a very good job and maybe lead to some legitimate change for orzammar is in the military. i imagine that's where she would turn her actual sights to basically immediately (and probably spent a lot of her reign off the throne leading expeditions in the deep roads and leave the at home ruling to whoever she got into a political marriage with. kind of cailan-esque. wait.) from there i don't think it would take her too long to realize how deeply fucked orzammar really is in their current position (which i don't think she thought of particularly deeply before being put into a commander position). from that perspective, i can see her taking a much more aggressive approach to the darkspawn, and eventually coming to some of the same conclusions bhelen did about training non-warrior caste soldiers, making a concentrated effort to retake abandoned thaigs, and, maybe even opening up more with the surface for the sake of getting reinforcements, all of which i can see having a positive effects on orzammar outside of just their survival.

so i guess i would say, probably better than harrowmont and hmm, it's tough to compare her to bhelen. less of a reformer but also less likely to vindictively execute you. honestly have not thought much about trian as a ruler so I'm not sure on that! i want to say she would be better because trian seems so petty and shitty but lbr how you act with your shitty siblings does not constitute what kind of king you would be.. need to think more on that

[richincolor]

Hope you're ready to add a bunch of books to your TBR pile! We have seven on our radar for this week. Which ones are you interested in?

Promposal by RaeChell Garrett Little, Brown/Poppy

High school senior Autumn Reeves has been waitlisted at her dream school. Determined to move to the top of the list, she must find a way to stand out. When a promposal she planned for a friend has half the senior class asking for her help, a brilliant business idea that will look great on her application is born: Promposal Queen.

Autumn has no clue how to start a business, so she joins the Young Black Entrepreneurs group and finds herself face-to-face with Mekhi Winston, the boy whose unexpected freshman-year kiss—a kiss that meant everything to her and nothing to him—cost Autumn her best friend. He’s the only person with the experience to help her, but how can she possibly trust him?

With her dreams on the line, Autumn’s willing to risk it. After all, Mekhi could be a good business partner without being a guy she would ever let near her heart again.

But when working with Mekhi jeopardizes her only chance at rekindling a friendship with her ex–best friend and long-buried secrets threaten to ruin Promposal Queen, another broken heart may be the least of her worries—her entire future is on the line. -- Cover image and summary via Goodreads

When You Wish Upon a Star by Elizabeth Lim Disney-Hyperion

“Starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight . . . ” so begins the wish that changes everything—for Geppetto, for the Blue Fairy, and for a little puppet named Pinocchio. The Blue Fairy isn’t supposed to grant wishes in the small village of Pariva, but something about this one awakens some long-buried flicker within. Perhaps it’s the hope she senses beneath the old man’s loneliness.

Or maybe it’s the fact that long ago, before she was the Blue Fairy, she was a young woman named Chiara from this very village, one with a simple wish: to help others find happiness. Her sister Ilaria always teased her for this, for she had big dreams to leave their sleepy village and become a world-renowned opera singer. The two were close, despite their differences. While Ilaria would give anything to have a fairy grant her wish, Chiara didn’t believe in the lore for which their village was famous.

Forty years later, Chiara, now the Blue Fairy, defies the rules of magic to help an old friend. But she’s discovered by the Scarlet Fairy, formerly Ilaria, who, amid a decades-long grudge, holds the transgression against her sister. They decide to settle things through a good old-fashioned bet, with Pinocchio and Geppetto’s fate hanging in the balance. -- Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Queen Bee by Amalie Howard Joy Revolution

A teen girl seeking retribution against her backstabbing former best friend finds her plans slightly derailed once she catches the eye of a familiar, handsome marquess. Bestselling author Amalie Howard delivers a delightful, anti-historical Regency-era romp that’s Bridgerton meets The Count of Monte Cristo!

Lady Ela Dalvi knows the exact moment her life was forever changed—when her best friend, Poppy, betrayed her without qualm over a boy, the son of a duke. She was sent away in disgrace, her reputation ruined.

Nearly three years later, eighteen-year-old Ela is consumed with bitterness and a desire for . . . revenge. Her enemy is quickly joining the crème de la crème of high society while she withers away in the English countryside.

With an audacious plan to get even, Ela disguises herself as a mysterious heiress and infiltrates London’s elite. But when Ela reunites with the only boy she’s ever loved, she begins to question whether vengeance is still her greatest desire. -- Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Blood Debts by Terry J. Benton-Walker Tor Teen

Thirty years ago, a young woman was murdered, a family was lynched, and New Orleans saw the greatest magical massacre in its history. In the days that followed, a throne was stolen from a queen.

On the anniversary of these brutal events, Clement and Cristina Trudeau—the sixteen-year-old twin heirs to the powerful, magical, dethroned family—are mourning their father and caring for their sick mother. Until, by chance, they discover their mother isn’t sick—she’s cursed. Cursed by someone on the very magic council their family used to rule. Someone who will come for them next.

Cristina, once a talented and dedicated practitioner of Generational magic, has given up magic for good. An ancient spell is what killed their father and she was the one who cast it. For Clement, magic is his lifeline. A distraction from his anger and pain. Even better than the random guys he hooks up with.

Cristina and Clement used to be each other’s most trusted confidant and friend, now they barely speak. But if they have any hope of discovering who is coming after their family, they’ll have to find a way to trust each other and their family's magic, all while solving the decades-old murder that sparked the still-rising tensions between the city’s magical and non-magical communities. And if they don't succeed, New Orleans may see another massacre. Or worse.

A Whole Song and Dance by Sarvenaz Tash Disney-Hyperion

A freshman in NYU’s prestigious musical theater program, Nasrin spends her days prepping for auditions, sweating through dance classes, and belting her heart out for the viral streaming show she’s been cast in. But on calls with her maman and baba, she’s their jigar talah, the golden child who put her theater dreams aside to follow in their entrepreneurial footsteps as a business major.

At least her whole life isn’t a lie—she is taking a single business course. Except she’s kind of failing it. Cue jazz hands?

Nasrin needs to bring her grade up fast if she’s going to keep her parents in the dark, so she grudgingly signs up for tutoring with the infuriatingly smug and annoyingly attractive Max. And yet...as the semester rushes by, the sparks of anger that first flew between them start to turn into a very different kind of spark. The kind she definitely does not have time for.

Except when Nasrin’s charming though devious cousin takes an interest in Max too, Nasrin has to figure out exactly what has been an act—and what’s for real. Can Nasrin decide what—and who—is truly worth fighting for, and find a way to step into the spotlight as her full self? -- Cover image and summary via Goodreads

An Appetite for Miracles by Laekan Zea Kemp Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

Danna Mendoza Villarreal’s grandfather is slowly losing himself as his memories fade, and Danna’s not sure her plan to help him remember through the foods he once reviewed will be enough to bring him back. Especially when her own love of food makes her complicated relationship with her mother even more difficult.

Raúl Santos has been lost ever since his mother was wrongly incarcerated two years ago. Playing guitar for the elderly has been his only escape, to help them remember and him forget. But when his mom unexpectedly comes back into his life, what is he supposed to do when she isn’t the same person who left?

When Danna and Raúl meet, sparks fly immediately and they embark on a mission to heal her grandfather...and themselves. Because healing is something best done together—even if it doesn’t always look the way we want it to. -- Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Firebird by Sunmi HarperCollins

Caroline Kim is feeling the weight of sophomore year. When she starts tutoring infamous senior Kimberly Park-Ocampo--a charismatic lesbian, friend to rich kids and punks alike--Caroline is flustered . . . but intrigued

Their friendship kindles and before they know it, the two are sneaking out for late-night drives, bonding beneath the stars over music, dreams, and a shared desire of getting away from it all.

A connection begins to smolder . . . but will feelings of guilt and the mounting pressure of life outside of these adventures extinguish their spark before it catches fire? -- Cover image and summary via Goodreads

[limoneads]

who are your top three favorite game of thrones characters and why?

i spent wayyyy to much time thinking about my little dudes. this took me like four hours because i kept going back and deleting because i couldn't decide on them oops. i know it's taken me literally forever to answer this, but i've been thinkin thoughts in my car. and i'm going to go by book only characters from the first two in the series bc i like the way they're characterized a lot more and they're the ones i'm most familiar with. i also want you to know that i'm incredibly incoherent

jon snow. i know i'm basic for this one. i know i am. but he's the game of thrones version of an anime protagonist. i think that this is extremely funny- in one chapter, he crushes a frozen lemon with his fist and it's never elaborated on again (??? what was the reason for this??), he has a literal albino pet wolf who's name is ghost :) who he loves very much, he's fiercely protective over his friends and new brothers and also just, like, a good dude?? he just tries to stand up for what's right, and in a world where pretty much every character is just trying to get more political power, it's a refreshing choice. i'd also like to mention that he's fourteen at the start of the books, and he gets to be an all around edgy westerosi teen, but he's also just a good kid and i think that's so lovely of him. there's a line of him showing his cool new sword to his wolf and he goes something like "look it's you :)" bc his broskis made him a new pommel in the shape of a wolfs head!! absolute lovely moment. every so often, you're reminded he's just some kid. he loves his family so much and i'm sad that he only gets a few scenes with them at the beginning of the book. okay, by family i mean arya, but they're really cute. he's really close with his little (half) sister arya and messes up her hair a lot. he gives her a sword as a parting gift :) and they're kinda the closest sibling pair in the stark family because they look the most like their dad and are often the ones most at odd with catelyn, their mom (but not his mom biologically. his dad, at the end of a war, just brought back a baby and was like "this is my son" and she hasn't been able to love jon ONCE). you kinda get the feeling that she's the only one who never judged him for being a bastard while still understanding what it means. they're relationships is just cute. you also get really banger character moments that i still think about, like him getting drunk at the fantasy version of the thanksgiving kids table and then yelling and crying at his uncle that he's "never going to father a bastard". or when he threatened to kill some dude in his sleep with his giant pet wolf for being mean to the new guy, sam. i'll admit his chapters are a bit boring in the sense that it's not a lot of stuff that happens plotwise for like the first 40%ish, but i got excited every time it was his turn to get a pov bc it's mostly him with his bros in the nights watch, being a weird snarky emo boy and i- i love him sm. 

i debated heavily on wether it should be robb or catelyn stark. they're pretty conjoined in my mind though, so i just put them both in a giant paragraph. but i'm gonna start with cat because she's one of the most complex characters in the books to me. cat is kinda in her flop era for like the first ten percent of the first book. she's horrifically abusive to jon snow, the bastard son of her husband, because she views him both as a threat to *her* children and as a reminder of her relationships pitfalls with her husband. her motherhood and her grief are central to her as character themes, as well as her preoccupation with duty and honor. i'm now going to take this time to talk about my son, robb stark and the genetic eldest daughter syndrome they both have. cat grew up as lady of her house, her mother dying and leaving her to take up a maternal role in her household. she got betrothed to her husbands brother when she was twelve and never complained because she was trying to do what she thought she was supposed to do. "i always did my duty". something similar happens to her son when his father, cats husband, leaves with his two daughters to be an advisor to the king at the time. i think it's mentioned that, despite being the heir to winterfell, his family's giant castle, no one had ever seriously taught him about ruling a place like that?? which. okay. he's already thrust into taking up a paternal role to take care of his remaining siblings. he loses his mother for a time. when bran is in a coma, she shuts everyone out, focusing on taking care of her son. in doing so, she neglects to care for her two other children, robb and baby rickon. this leaves robb alone, now without his mother to guide him (he's also like 15 at this point) he's now ruling winterfell and acting as a father to his youngest sibling. she actually does leave when someone tries to kill bran with a dagger- seeking justice out for her son. the goes on a little journey (which is like most of her journey in the books but i'm glossing over it because it was kinda boring rip), and when she comes back she takes incredible psychic damage from seeing her son having grown up so fast. and i'm like, babes you're responsible for this. she always is so taken aback by how old he's starting to look. he grows a weird teen boy beard and she takes psychic damage. she's basically his biggest political advisor in his campaign as king in the north. maybe my thoughts aren't that complicated on that, but they both adhere so strictly to a code of honor and duty- it makes me mentally ill. and to know that it gets robb killed!!! they change this up in the show, and it isn't until the third book but knowing that robb betrayed his political alliance bc he made a mistake by sleeping with a girl and then marrying her the next morning bc it was the right thing to do and sticking by her?? the parallels with him and his dad... i feel like evaporated milk. 

howland reed. i can't really explain this one so much. never actually shows up in the books but has inexplicably strong dilf energy. one of like three good dads in the entire series. absolute unit on the basketball court. more fun in my head than cannon. if hbo ever does a roberts rebellion prequel i will have my ass parked in front of that tv screen so fast you won't even believe

and now i ask who your favorite three star trek characters are. thank for trying to teach me how to do the things on the tumblr :)

[coll2mitts]

#25 The Court Jester (1956)

Happy Halloween! I ran out of creepy musicals, so we're going to instead recap one where Danny Kaye wears a ridiculous looking costume.

Seriously, it looks like he lost a bet.

The Court Jester is a star-studded film that is only a musical by definition because Danny Kaye occasionally sings. It is the most fast-paced, disorienting, silly movie I have ever watched, and I enjoyed every absurd minute of it.

The movie begins with Danny prancing around during the title sequence to hype up the fairy tale they'll be reenacting over the next hour and thirty minutes while also assuring the audience actually read the credit sequence. Which, y'know, whatever you gotta do.

Once Upon a Time, King Roderick the Tyrant, a jolly, smiley old man who massacred an entire family to take the throne, is heading home with a bunch of his homicidal friends. One of his knights is unceremoniously murdered by an arrow with a note tied to it, because I'm guessing a pigeon wasn't available. The Black Fox (think Robin Hood, but way less charismatic), the King's nemesis, sends a (literal) message to warn King Roderick his days are numbered - There is a rightful heir to the throne, and he's an infant that has a distinctive flower on his butt!

This has King Roderick shaking in his perfectly aligned tight seams and the group books it back to the safety of the castle leaving the poor unmoving knight on the side of the road. His advisor, Sir Ravenhurst (Basil Rathbone), assures the king this news is nonsense, but the rest of his council (Brockhurst, Finsdale, and Pertwee) suggest the King should form an alliance with Sir Griswold - an alpha male from a neighboring kingdom that is so big and strong he'd send The Black Fox packing. Sir Ravenhurst disagrees, which sends these petty and dramatic queens into a slapping fight which is only quelled when someone suggests they marry off Princess Gwendolyn (my love Angela Lansbury) to Griswold cause she's got nothing currently on her calendar. Gwendolyn reacts to this news by threatening to jump off the building since she is also a petty and dramatic queen. Her behavior is blamed on her handmaiden Griselda, cause there's absolutely no other reason why Gwendolyn would want to marry for love.

Meanwhile, the band of The Black Fox are out in the forest having a grand 'ol time with their in-house entertainment!

They've really gotta work on rebranding cause at first glance I thought they were wearing Nazi armbands.

Hubert Hawkins (Danny Kaye), while a jester by trade, wants to contribute more than singing and dancing to the cause. He's even recruited an entire troupe of little people from the local carnival to free up some of his time to swashbuckle with the rest of them. The Black Fox instead puts him on babysitting duty with a Tarzan swinging Mrs. Banks, which apparently includes flashing the kid's bottom to anybody who wants to pledge loyalty to a royal.

After discovering there's a snitch in the castle, the stunningly beautiful Captain Jean (Glynis Johns) and Hubert, in order to keep the baby with the purple pimpernel buttmark concealed, dress in disguise to traffic the child in a wine barrel to an Abbey. Hawkins' old man shenanigans frustrate the King's knights enough that they don't suspect the pair are involved with The Black Fox and let them continue on their journey.

They take shelter in a dilapidated shack for the night and The Captain's ovaries explode watching Hubert sing the child to sleep with his buttery voice.

And, oh no! There's only one pile of hay they have to share! Maid Jean keeps her cool by telling Hawkins beta males can attract even strong men like her, and Hawkins replies her she'd make a pretty good girl before planting a kiss on her. Jean tries to steer the conversation back to their mission, but Hawkins, seeing now he has a chance, can't take his lips off of her.

"I wonder if she's thinking about other guys..." "There's a secret tunnel under the castle that leads to the King's chambers!"

But wouldn't you know, at that very moment, the King's future court jester Giacomo wanders into the shack looking for shelter. He just happens to be the type of person who would have access to the King and be able to grab the key to the secret tunnel. Instead of recruiting him into the cause, Jean brains Giacomo and asks Hawkins to take his place since he has all that convenient carnival experience.

Back at the castle The King is still struggling because Gwennie doesn't want to marry the Grim, Grizzly, Gruesome Grossy McGrosserson Griswold! Even though he has an unwilling bride-to-be, the King figures if he can distract Griswold with bitches there's a greater chance he'll comply, sending his knights out to grab a cartful of them. Ravenhurst also suggests their new jester might be able to provide some levity, which the king agrees to without knowing that Ravenhurst, in addition to being petty and dramatic, is also a scheming queen and The Original Giacomo was hired because he was a secret skilled assassin!

Unfortunately for Jean, the King's quest for hoes intercepts her baby-concealing wine cart on the way to the abbey and she is dragged to the castle ahead of a bumbling Hawkins. She rendezvous with The Black Fox's inside guy Fergus and asks him to take the surprisingly mute baby to the Jester's quarters in anticipation for Hawkins' arrival. She then steals the key from the King's quarters herself since she has to do fucking everything.

Hawkins/Giacomo arrives a few moments later to the delight of Ravenhurst and Griselda - the former because he wants Giacomo to go on a murderous rampage, and the latter because she convinced Gwendolyn the dude with the pointy shoes is her One True Love in order to weasel her way out of a Gwendolyn's pre-wedding murder-suicide pact.

Hawkins tries to determine which person is an ally by spitting in everyone's faces and unfortunately determines Ravenhurst is his man cause Hubert is dumb as rocks and Ravenhurst keeps giving him the "you're gonna murder the King's council for me" eyebrows.

The King asks "Giacomo" to choose the best wench for him since he assumes this man wearing the biggest feather I've ever seen in a hat is a massive slut who would be able to tell which bitch was quality. He's quickly intercepted by Griselda who, in a quest to save her own skin, hypnotizes him into wanting to fuck Gwendolyn. Fergus witnesses this and is rightfully disgusted.

Jean, barefoot and key laden, stumbles upon Hawkins on his way to get his dick wet and since he has a singular focus, Hawkins pimps Jean out to the King. Excited to be dining with such a beautiful woman, the King ignores the fact it's usually not a good sign if the guards have to physically restrain your date.

Arriving at the Princess's chambers, "Giacomo" lays on the charm hard, telling her they'll run away together. The Princess takes the key to the secret tunnel under the assumption they will meet and flee in the dead of night. The King uses this exact moment to check in on his daughter, immediately uncovers her plan to leave and steals the key back making the last 10 minutes useless. After a brief side-quest where "Giacomo" agrees to murder the council for Ravenhurst, Griselda removes the love spell and erases Hawkins' memory for funsies and to further complicate the plot.

After getting all dolled up, Jean is escorted to the King on the way to dinner only to find out that left unsupervised, Hawkins got himself in a shitload of trouble and also returned the key to the King. He is, however, able to perform well enough to distract the King from the baby in a basket.

Things are further derailed after Griselda poisons the King's entire council during a toast and somehow nobody cares about this except Ravenhurst who thinks that "Giacomo" did it. This doesn't prevent the wedding of her lady to Griswold, however, since Gwendolyn outs her love for "Giacomo" the second Griswold walks through the door. Griswold decides to win Gwen's hand through TRIAL BY COMBAT, which means "Giacomo" needs to be declared a knight to participate.

Ravenhurst, pleased with how his plan is progressing, praises the man who hired Giacomo, who instead blindsides him with, "My guy, this development is cool and all, but I've never seen that dude in my life." They assume Hawkins is The Black Fox for whatever reason, and instead of ratting him out to the king, they advocate for expediting the jester's knighthood so he will be forced to kill Griswold. The knights go out of their way to rig the tests so THE CANDIDATE PASSES, damning Hawkins to most certainly die by Griswold's blade.

Tasked with keeping the mission afloat, Captain Jean attempts to seduce the king to once again steal the key. She succeeds in both turning him on, and then turning him off by regaling the plague that unfortunately killed her family, and like, imagine being scared of catching a contagious virus. Just take some horse dewormer, King, you'll be fine. Jean gets the key and hands it off to Fergus to be sent by bird to the legitimate Black Fox, proving you don't need to send messages by murder.

Hawkins' fears are inching closer and closer to reality as he is incredibly enthusiastically knighted by ceremony. Griswold immediately challenges him to TRIAL BY COMBAT and Hawkins accepts under the assumption The Black Fox will come soon and take his place in battle.

Those quickly shuffling men that resemble a marching band on steroids are The American Legion Zouaves Post no. 29 from Jackson, Michigan. Formed in 1898 as an exercise group, the drill team were famous for moving at 300 steps per minute and being able to launch all 18 of them over a 12 foot wall in 22 seconds. When Hollywood came calling, they initially thought it was a joke until they heard they were scouted based on one of their 5 performances on the Ed Sullivan Show. A group of 200 people saw them off on their flight to film in California while carrying a key to the city to be delivered to Danny Kaye. Their favorite person to talk to on set was Angela Lansbury, which is the most believable thing in the world to hear. Basil Rathbone attempted to learn the steps but apparently was not very successful since it's just as hard as it looks.

Steering back from that tangent, the morning of the big fight arrives and The Black Fox is nowhere to be seen as the secret passage is partially collapsed only leaving room for someone the size of a small child and if only The Black Fox knew of several small child-sized men who could navigate their way through the tunnel and start a diversion... The Black Fox, instead of saving Hawkins' life, decides to change the plan by recruiting Hawkins' acrobat friends (which he could have done at the beginning of this movie) and use them as a distraction to gain access to the castle.

Hung out to dry, Hawkins once again finds an ally in Griselda, whose neck is once again on the line as Gwendolyn declares if Giacomo is killed Griselda will be next. Griselda only knows of one way to kill a man, however, and poisons one of the cups that will be used for the pregame toast, as if pregame toasts were a thing. Problem is, Hawkins is having issues trying to remember which chalice's contents won't make him foam at the mouth and limply fall over.

RED LEATHER YELLOW LEATHER RED LEATHER YELLOW LEATHER UNIQUE NEW YORK UNIQUE NEW YORK

But right before the joust Hawkin's armor is struck by lightning which magnetizes it and oh my god I think whoever wrote this movie was on cocaine what is even happening. Danny Kaye changes out of his disco tunic and belt-I-swore-they-sold-at-Hot-Topic-in-2003 combo and dons his electrified armor to face his destiny. After the toast goes absolutely nowhere since Griswold gets word of the poison, they begin to battle and Griswold immediately knocks Hawkins' block off.

BUT THROUGH THE POWER OF A LITERAL ACT OF GOD Griswold's mace gets stuck to Hawkins' shield and he falls off his horse in defeat. Hawkins spares Griswold's life and is promised Gwendolyn's hand in marriage after The King's mealy mouthed apology about trying to get him killed and shit. This is a short lived victory as Hawkins is quickly outed by Ravenhurst as The Black Fox and Captain Jean as his accomplice. Poor Fergus was caught and tortured to reveal the heir apparent is hiding in the castle somewhere and Ravenhurst isn't about to take his chances at The Black Fox snatching the title of son-in-law.

Captain Jean and Hawkins are summoned before the court with Hubert sporting a surprising amount of chest hair for a prisoner. It's at that moment dozens of acrobats descend on the knights, launching their hilariously mannequin-esque bodies via catapult into the sea.

While The Black Fox and his men overthrow the castle, Hawkins confronts Ravenhurst mono e mono to mixed results. It isn't until Griselda Space-Jam-waters him into having confidence that Hawkins is able to corner Ravenhurst for a small moment to show off his wonderful dissection skills.

Hawkins eventually is able to scream and flail around long enough for the acrobats to launch a Ravenhurst-dressed rag doll into the sea, only to then be confronted by Griswold who wants to take down the traitors. The holy infant is then lowered from the ceiling so Hawkins can once again show off its ass revealing the baby as the true heir. The king is overthrown, Hawkins ends up with Jean, Gwendolyn magically likes Griswold for absolutely no reason, and a literal infant with no capabilities of ruling takes the throne. All hail the holy bloodline.

THE END.

This movie is a plot-heavy non-stop frantic fever dream that is also incredibly charming and funny. While I'm not completely sold on Danny Kaye and Glynis Johns' romantic connection, they play off each other incredibly well.

The whole cast sells the story in all its grand, melodramatic farce. Angela Lansbury, who is disorienting to see with long hair, cracked me up every time she threated to hurl herself off of a turret or murder a maid in order to get her way. Glynis really is our true hero, constantly running around keeping the motley crew on track, even if they didn't let her wear shoes the entire movie. Danny Kaye's facial expressions alone would have been worth more than the price of admission. I've watched this 4 times now and I find something new to giggle at during each repeat.

If you're looking for an evening full of brainless slapstick, The Court Jester more than fits the bill. Let the man in the ostentatious outfit entertain you - it's his job.

Thanks for reading on tumblr!  If you’ve enjoyed this post, please consider helping me fund this project by donating to my ko-fi :)

[limelocked]

Look dude im just.. i like these two so much, no one will understand why i love my little guys so much, theyre gay for each other and this doesnt cover that at all, first chapter teaser chapter ass vibes for a story that will never on earth be told other than in the dms of my most beloved friends

---

“Good morning your highness”

There were no plans to meet with the duke of Argo this morning and yet here he was, as if the gods themselves had decided so. 

“So it is Lord Daviel”

Duke Daviel Teyvan of Argo was a man who had, until recently, not concerned himself for a moment with politics outside Argo and its border territories. A tall and broad shouldered man, one would assume he was blessed with a bear’s soul. It was, however, clear from his gracefully graying hair, gained before the start of his third decade of life, that the stress of managing his estate and businesses were better suited to his temperament than a battlefield. 

“How come you’ve decided to visit me, duke? I was shocked to hear that you’d traveled to the capital so you must imagine my surprise now that you’re here in my sitting room”

“I had heard your highness was ill” 

He said this with a smile that you would expect not to be genuine, yet it extended into a curious gleam in the duke's eye. 

“News travel slowly to the south it would seem” 

They did not, and I now knew why the duke of Argo was here. 

Lord Teyvan has a claim to the throne, small as it is. The late duke was the great grandchild of a royal who didn’t ascend the throne and who died before the first to-be duke of Teyvan was born. 

The nobility were planning treason and either Lord Teyvan was here to warn me, threaten me, or test me. 

“As you must have heard through the butler; it’s a great day of lucidity for the insane. You should count yourself lucky with your visit my lord”

“So I will, your highness.” he took a prolonged sip of his tea as if intentionally annoying me “I wished to see if our future ruler were as crazed as the rumors say, so I shall also have to leave today somewhat disappointed”

So it was a test and a warning.

“You are a brave man, Lord Teyvan, for speaking so bluntly of such things to my face when that is my reputation. I happen to know that you aren’t one for swords, unlike myself” 

Of course I had no reason to hurt this man, it would actually be a huge loss for me if I did. The duke had however challenged my honor, and boundaries were to be set accordingly. He should not tread over such an obvious line when implying treason to the royal he’s testing.

“My apologies, your highness. It was my impression that you may find more use in a bold man than one who whispers sweet nothings and vapid compliments in your ear. That is to say I thought you a man who would enjoy a harsher truth over a hidden lie”

In the holy text this man was a stoic and silent type, the rock for the primary romantic lead to lean on. What happened to that guy?

“Is that why you’re hiding your true intentions from me even now?”

He flinched. Only slightly and not enough for a human to notice. 

He was quiet for a moment before sighing in resignation. 

“You’re very observant your highness”

“Yes, and I’ve been very patient with you as well. Unless you have something to add then I suggest you leave” 

Duke Teyvan was objectively beautiful and could objectively be a good tool if I favored him. All the same qualities that made him dangerous to me. He has shared rumors of treason with me and he is a person with good support and a claim to the throne. 

I have to hate him, I have to fight this man. 

“Then I will take my leave. I hope we can meet further in the future your highness”

And then he left. The maids cleaned up the reception room and I returned to my library. 

In the coming weeks the duke entered capital politics, and once more managed to join my tea time. 

—

[9 years ago]

“Will you run away again, Solen?”

He stood there, at the end of the hall, brandishing a sword as if he knew how to use it. 

He sneered, filled with unearned confidence.

As of late, my half brother had grown emboldened, forgetting the healthy fear one should have in the face of regicide. With our father, the emperor, on his sickbed with little hope of recovery it was now no secret that the empress consort coveted his power.

“We don’t have to do this Malisian”

It wasn’t a warning but a plea for him to accept mercy. We both knew who the better swordsman was amongst us children, and I had never wanted human blood on my hands.

Malisian, the only other known survivor other than myself, smiled.

I wanted then to beg him not to make me do this. But he was raised cocky, he would run me down and gloat if I fled again.

He lunged and with a swift motion of my blade I parried.

I had to note that for a teen four years younger than me he was pretty strong. He lacked in most other areas of martial arts, but for a 13 year old to have a chance of overpowering a 17 year old was admittedly impressive.

I moved my wrist, the metal blades scraping against each other and into the marble floor, making a horrible sound I hoped no servant would ever have to hear.

“You know, brother” Malisian spoke, “If your mother hadn’t been that bitch then I would’ve spared your life. I would’ve put you in the dungeon for me to laugh at if you had been my real brother”

It was a lie. I knew for a fact he had afforded the other children of the empress consort no such opportunities. Me and my siblings, as children of the empress, had and would never receive special treatment.

He lunged again, probably aggravated by my silent response.

We exchanged blows for many long seconds, and he was losing ground.

I pitied him.

If I could, then I would have liked to offer him mercy, exile him or lock him up instead of death. It would be bad for me later on but–

CLANG!

I could see how the reckless attack had made the grip on his sword unstable and so I twisted my sword to knock his sword out of his hand.

Disarmed, my half-brother stood slightly hunched, dumbfounded.

“Malisian, you know you can’t win this. I’m holding back even after everything you’ve done”

It was quiet like that for a moment.

He didn’t move.

“You’re right. You were holding back. All this time as well.”

I turned my back on him. While I hadn’t killed any of my siblings with my own hands, I had avoided this fight and ran away, so could you really argue that my hands were clean?

The knights would be coming soon unless he’d paid them off, I needed to round them up and tell them to arrest him without lethal force.

It was something I could do myself, but I would rather have the safety of numbers that could hold him down and receive more but shallower wounds. This is what I thought of as I was walking away.

Sigh…

Why would he do all this when it was clear that the empress consort just wanted to use him as a puppet? Malisian had never been a smart boy but he’d displayed considerable cunning in his murder game so you would think he’d be able to figure this out himself.

Rustle…

Ah.

I see.

He had picked up his sword again, without making as much as a sound against the stonework.

I suspected this would happen but decided to be the bigger person anyways, and for no good reason.

The sound I had heard came from his clothes as he took a final shot at my unguarded back.

I instinctively turned around to defend myself.

He did not attack where I had anticipated.

My side felt hot and wet but no pain had registered yet.

What had was the fact that my last brother had overstepped, and gone full speed into the blade I had held up to guard against a swipe rather than a stab.

He had sliced his own neck in a way I figured would be irreparable.

More blood on the imperial floors.

It was covering me, a man who had only defended against a fool.

“Haha…”

How did he even manage to kill everyone else?

“Hahaha!”

I could hear footsteps in the distance and I felt something break inside of me as the laughter kept bubbling out.

“HAHAHAHAH!!”

Then I felt something else.

‘Sis did you read the new chapter?’

‘Of what?’

‘< I'll un-ruin this kingdom myself if I have to >’

[usetheeauthor]

How To Be King

Sub!Viserys III Targaryen x Wildling!Fem!Plus!Reader

Fluff/Smut/Angst (18+ MDNI)

Enemies to Lovers

Summary: You find the very drunk Viserys stumbling into your village. Although, you find his abrasiveness to be quite irritating, you take pity on him when you learn of his past. All he wants is an army and to reclaim his position. You willingly decide to teach him the ways of gaining support in exchange for an alliance between your people. What you didn’t expect was to find love within each other. A love that Viserys has been starved of for so long.

A/N: Wrote this for myself but I’ve decided to share it with anyone interested because sharing is caring. Even though this guy’s a monster he can get it. Idk I have such a thing for villains. I hope you enjoy. It’s s long one but the story’s worth it, I think. I also pulled some dialogue from the show to capture his personality so he’s not too ooc. This is probably inaccurately based on the show, I watch the show but know little history about it or the books so it’s all loosely based.

Word Count: 8.9k+

Warnings: loosely based GOT knowledge, blood and violence, graphic language, Viserys being an annoying brat, Reader and Viserys slap each other, lots of kissing, touch!starved Viserys, pining, mommy kink, soft dom!reader, p in v unprotected, spit kink, creampie, breeding kink, dacryphilia, passionate sex, handjob, lots of fluff and angst, sad ending

The air was cool. The leaves on the abundant trees were slowly dying, falling to the ground in colors of red, orange, and brown. Winter would only come a month from now but your people were prepared for anything.

Your people came from all over the Seven Kingdoms. All of you having in common the idea that freedom was better than kneel before a King or Queen who couldn’t give a horse’s ass about its people. You’d rather fight to be free. Why worship false gods when the Old Gods of forest were there watching over you all, hoping its people will one day return to their rightful place under their heavenly kingdom?

You took pride in the decision you made to renounce your herd mentality. Once the wife of a nobleman in the Winterfell, you were immediately banished from the land when you expressed your concerns of worshipping a leader when the Gods intended you to be free from the ruling of man.

Tormund Giantsbane took you in seeing you as his adoptive sister. You were the one to help him make any decisions in case he faced any challenges. Together, Tormund and you worked to strengthen your people as a rogue tribe. People tend to look down on you free folk but neither of you cared. The words of “kneelers” or those within the walls of the seven kingdoms meant nothing to you. You were all happy.

It was a lively night. Your people were celebrating the night away with no particular occasion in mind. People drank from the special wine, music swelled in the air, children played, a silly theater show was broadcasted for entertainment, young lovers fucking whomever they desired…a typical wildling celebration.

Tormund was pissed drunk but you enjoyed seeing him smile. Ygritte enjoyed her time, as well, drinking amongst the men and telling hunting stories of her time in the woods with the hunting pack. You walked through the camp, admiring the joy of your people when you spotted a figured in the dark stumbling towards your direction.

You carefully drew your bow and arrow from you back holster, pointing it in the direction of the intruder.

“Who goes there?” You call out.

The dark figure continues forward until the orange light from the flaming torches cascaded over them. It was a handsome young man with silver white and quite visibly drunk. You couldn’t see him as a threat for how thin he was compared to you but once you noticed the sword he carried you raised your bow higher and aimed.

“Don’t take a step any closer or I will shoot,” You threatened. “Who are you?”

“I am the rightful king of the iron throne. I am the dragon. Kneel before me.” His words are slurred and trips over his feet.

A look of confusion paints your face. This man was clearly not well. Not only had he shown up unannounced to your territory with no aide in sight but he claims to be a king.

“I will not kneel. I kneel to no one. I’ll ask that you leave where you’ve came or else it will not end well for you.”

“Are you threatening me?” He says through gritted teeth.

“Yes.” You challenged.

The man makes his way towards you and, without thinking, you let go of the bow. The arrow shoots straight through his shoulder and, not a second after, he’s howling in pain. Alerting the warriors of the camp, including Tormund, to make their way over the end of the camp where you stood.

“What goes on here?” Tormund questions, looking down at the man wailing and cradling his shoulder then back at you.

“This man…” You were in a panic. “He came to our grounds claiming to be the King of the Iron Throne. He approached me further when I specifically asked him not to do so. I let go in fear. I would’ve only let go for a warning shot. Not to hurt him.”

“You did what you could to defend yourself. Do you wish to put him out of his misery? I can take him somewhere so no one will see.”

“No, brother. I’d like to take him to our healer’s tent. He’s only but a drunken fool. It’s not merely enough a reason for a death sentence.”

Tormund sighs his frustration. “You are too nice for your own good. Men please carry the cunt to our healer for some attention to the wound.”

You smiled, greatly appreciating him for taking in your suggestions. Ygritte looks wry with the decision.

“Everything alright, sister?”

“That silver hair. I’ve heard stories about it. About a family who all shared that color hair. Maybe he’s a king after all.” Ygritte says, downing her wine before heading back with the others.

You stood there alone in the path between shadow and light. Looking down at the pool of blood, you reflected on his words. Maybe when he came to you could inquire him about the meaning of his behavior. If he’s not dead by morning, that is.

————

You awoke and your mind immediately thought back to the silver-haired man. You had a vision last night. The vision told you the story of a family of silver hair like the ones Ygritte told you about. Only it went further. They were royalty. They had power, dragons, the iron thrown built of swords. Yet, there rise quickly reached its peak before crashing and burning at the hands of the Lannisters.

You needed to see him. You hoped he’s okay. Your intentions weren’t to hurt him. Maybe there were some truths to his statements. If he were a beggar, would he be dressed in neatly kept garbs? Would he don a sword made of Valyrion steel? Of course not. This man was of some importance.

Visiting the medic tent, you spotted the man in his cot. He’s sound asleep. He actually looked so sweet and innocent. Tormund had beat you to the visit, currently conversing with the Healer about the foreigner.

You slowly approached them, giving your greetings. “I take that I’ve not murdered anyone. I hope.”

The healer laughs. “No. He’s in stable condition just in slumber from the doses of medicine that I’ve given him to ingest. I’ll look further into his wounds. Clean them up.”

The medic walks away leaving you and Tormund for conversation. Tormund glares at you clearly still processing why he’d decided to listen to your request to save the man.

“We’re wasting good herbs on this man, Y/N. Herbs that could be supplied to our people who could be in need of it someday.”

“You understand that we can scavenge for more. We do it nearly every time we go for a hunt. It’s not a waste to save the life of a man especially if he is who he says he is.”

“You couldn’t possibly believe this loiter-sack was once king.”

“Maybe not once king. But he could’ve been sworn to be one someday. I had a vision of a royal family. All with silver hair. They were the true rulers of the Seven Kingdoms until conquered by Lannister swines.”

“Okay,” He nods, knowing that the information from your dreams are usually true. “But even if he’s sworn to be king, what should it matter to us? We serve no one.”

“Yes, but we could possibly have an ally. Winter is coming, Tormund. We’ve prepared for it yet not enough. If we have him as an ally, we could receive goods for our people.”

“This man owns nothing. He’s as useful as a cum rag. The Lannisters own his arse, if anything. Why not throw him to the lions and get our reward?”

“Because that’s not who we are, brother. Regardless of what the kneelers say about us, we are not barbaric or savage. I just want more for our people. I understand you wish the same. You’re a great leader. Everyone sees it. Your daughters, your men…me. But just listen to this option. You don’t have to if you don’t wish to but at least spare the man’s life.”

“If I were to agree, what is your plan?”

“This man’s family once ruled dragons. It’s possible they still do.”

“Own dragons and yet still lost the war to the Lannisters? How?”

You shrugged. “I’m not sure but it’s possible he can conquer the throne again. If you’d let me, I’d like to speak with him and have a word. Maybe figuring out his motivations for being here.”

“It’s dangerous game you’re playing, sister. We can’t involve ourselves in these petty fights between kingdoms.”

“I understand but what’s a little bit of risk for a big amount of payoff. I know you’ve always wanted to own enough booze to make a grown man cry. Here’s our chance!” You say, smiling and nudging him.

He groans. “You’re incredibly stubborn but I will give this scheme some thought. You may speak to the man. After all, you’ve nearly killed him. It’s only right to face him.”

You hugged him. “Thank you! You will not regret it.”

“Not sure if you could say that just yet. How are you going to turn the bumbling fool into a king?” He asks.

You looked down at the man sleeping soundly and contemplated. “Well, I was once the wife of a nobleman. If this man needs an army, then diplomacy is the start.”

—————

Viserys opened his eyes to find you sitting in a chair beside his bed. He groans in pain, sitting up. As if the recollections of what happened last night crashed into him all at once, his pained look quickly shifts to anger.

“You! You shot me.” He sneers.

“I warned you not to step any further. You did so I made my choice. We both made choices last night.”

“Enlighten me. What was my choice, then? To die!”

“Yes! If you wished to attack me, then death would of been the result for you. You’re not dead because I simply chose to spare your life. You’re welcome.”

“Should I be gratuitous? I was at death’s door. You spared me not. I clawed my way back to life simply because I am a dragon.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to me? I don’t understand the language of kneelers.”

“You wretched uncultured swine. You and your people have disrespected me enough. I don’t know what I was thinking coming to wildling territory for any negotiations.”

“You sickly little weasel. I should’ve let you rot on the ground where you sobbed for your mommy.”

“Slandering of a king is punishable by death.”

“Good thing there is no king here.” You hissed.

Raising a hand, he smacks you across your face. Your face turned to the side and your hair sprawled across it by the impact. You turned back to face him slowly, licking lips to taste the saltiness of blood on them. You’re lip split from the hit. You see red. Red with pure rage like a bull locked on its target.

“That’ll teach you, pudgy woman.”

Jumping up on the bed and straddling him, you smacked one cheek then the other. He lets out a high-pitched yelps with each smack before taking his good arm to choke you. You choke him back.

Suddenly, a throat clears behind you. The two of you halting in your actions, eyes following the sound. It was the healer, standing awkwardly while he tried to understand what exactly he’d just witnessed.

You cleared your throat. “Sorry about that, Oden. This was nothing. I just felt the need to help this man with his poor, poor shoulder,” You slammed a fist hard against his wounded shoulder causing him to cry out and let your throat go. You hop off the bed and awkwardly played with your braid. “Well, I should be going now. The hunt begins soon.”

With that, you scurried out of the room feeling the healer and the silver haired man’s burning stare on you. Of course, this conversation had been an epic fail and you’ve accomplished nothing. The nerve of this man. How was one supposed to obtain an army if he was this unbelievably insufferable? No one would ever want to rule under this man. Maybe Tormund had been right.

—————

Tormund could see that you were noticeably pissed during the hunt. Whenever you’re pissed, you get extremely scary yet extremely good at hunting. Tormund and Ygritte exchange looks before turning to you.

“Something troubling you, dear sister? You have the aim of a seasoned archer. Most days, you could hardly hit a target that’s within breathing space.” Tormund asks, laying a concerned hand on your shoulder as you reached for another arrow.

“Maybe I just got really good. Nearly killed a man last night, did I not?” You muttered, shooting the arrow and perfectly hitting a wild boar in it’s side. The beast falls over. You go over to it, whispering a quiet prayer before jabbing the arrow deeper ending its life. “We’re eating boar tonight.” You say turning to see the horrified looks on their faces.

You hated the act of killing an animal so much so that you could never being yourself to stand close to a dying one. Yet in this evening, you’d done it without batting an eye. This was worrisome for the leader of the wildlings.

He pulls you to the side, squinting at your face.“Why’s your lip bruised?”

“It’s nothing. I clumsily bit it this morning.” You lied.

“It has something to do with that cunt, does it?” His eyes are wild and wide. “When I get my hands on him I’ll—”

“No! It’s fine. Yes, he did put his hands on me but I defended myself. You should see the state I left him in. He hollered like a bitch.”

“Why are you defending him?”

“Because I still believe this could work. I didn’t get any information from him so technically my plan hasn’t failed just yet.”

“Are you going to allow him to continue hitting you all for a hint of his name?”

“Of course not. He won’t dare to rest hands on me again. Just give me one more chance to prove this to you.”

“You’re a foolish woman.”

“The love of our people does that to a woman. Makes your stupid with ambition.”

“I’ll let you have this one last chance but no more.”

“Wonderful, brother,” You beamed. “So, should we be on our way home? I would kill for some supper.”

“No more killings for you, little one.” He shakes a hand in your hair then walks off to pick up the boar, throwing it over his back. You followed after along with the group as you made your way back to the camp.

When you all arrived, the healer is the first to approach the group. A look of frustration on his face as he explains himself. Apparently, ‘the king’ wasn’t pleased that his garments were removed and that he was made to wear the traditional free folk clothing. He’s in the tent as of now, throwing a tantrum and literally throwing things.

It took the strength of 4 men and Ygritte to stop him from entering the tent. You went in the line of fire eyes locking with the man-child.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? You’ve been fed, given a bed to rest in, treated for, dressed--”

“These rags smell like manure! Everything does!” He says, throwing some medical supplies across the room.

“Well, now the medic wishes you not to be here. Hmm. Where will you stay? It seems you’ve nowhere to go.”

“I have somewhere. My sister’s waiting for me. Her and those Dothraki animals.”

“Dothraki? You’ve got allies?”

“Yes and if you try to attack me again. I shall have the rain fire on this very camp.”

“I don’t believe you. Besides, we aren’t scared of the Dothraki. We have mutual understandings with them. Something you wouldn’t know because you know nothing.”

“I want to leave!”

“Leave then! Feel free to do so. No one’s held you captive. But I must warn you, beggars will be on you like flies to honey when they see that you’re wounded. You’ll be in no shape to defend yourself. Not that I believed you could defend yourself even if you had your two hands.”

“Oh, fuck off!” He says, swinging his legs to the side bed.

“Gladly. Goodbye.” Just as you turned to walk out of the tent, you hear him struggling to walk forward. He’s still weak from the blood loss.

He takes a step forward and just as he’s about to fall you catch him. Your eyes locked once more. It’s the first time you’d been this close up to his face. Your both breathing heavy for a reason you dare not to explore.

“I told you you’re in no condition to leave.”

He looks at you and it’s almost as if he’s enamored by your appearance. He is, in fact, charmed by you. You were quite attractive. Nicely shaped and robust. He can feel himself melting to your embrace. He breaks your enchanting touch, shaking off any thoughts of lust.

“I’m fine.” He says, teeth clenched. He stands himself up, walking in a jerky motion before finding his footing.

“Will you quit being so stubborn? I am willing to let you stay in home to rest.”

“You’re trying to torture me.”

You pull him by the medic’s gown, forcing him close to you. “You listen and you listen well. I have been patient with you long enough. I saved your life when I’ve had numerous occasions to leave you for dead. I’ve taken up for you despite my leader’s constant objections. All because I wished to know you and have my questions answered. So quit being a whiny little fuck for once in your godforsaken life and do some good for once.”

“Alright.” He grumbles, finally dropping the attitude.

“Good. Now I’m not too excited about you staying in home. Neither will my leader but it will be what must be accepted because the healer wants nothing to do with you unless it’s to check your injury.”

“That moron couldn’t tell a baby’s breath from sage. I don’t understand why he’s your healer.”

“I won’t tolerate any insults aimed at my people. So you either keep your comments to yourself or I’ll be force to physically silence you.”

He glares at you and you retort with an expression of your own. “Fine.” He crosses his arms.

“Good boy,” You smiled. Good boy. The sound of that stirred something within Viserys that he wasn’t sure he’s ever felt before. “Now why don’t we meet the others for supper. You are to be on your best behavior and answer all of my questions and in return…I’ll teach you to be king.”

“How on earth will a wildling woman teach me, a royal, how to be king?”

“That’s a talk saved for supper. Follow me.” You take his hand in yours, leading him.

Viserys never had a woman take charge so boldly the way you did. It was culturally shocking yet so refreshing. When you’d climbed his lap in the noon to slap him around, he did all he could to suppress an erection that begged to stand tall. No! He could not be willing to fuck a wildling girl. Clearly, he’s lost all common sense being in the presence of your people for so long. Once he’s healed enough, he’ll be gone and out of this hell never daring to look back.

————-

“So your sister is married to the Great Khal and she’s the tribe’s Khaleesi.” You reiterate, then took a bite of your meal. The two of you were sitting off somewhere within the camp alone, having a meal. You learned of his name, Viserys. You’d also learned of his sister Daenerys who sounded like a sweetheart compared to the man beside you.

“Yes, but those beasts have no need for me. They simply pretend as if I’m not there. Like I’m not there king.”

“I know Dothraki people to be of their word. If they say they’ll give you an army, they will fight for you. Did you not say that your sister is pregnant?”

“Yes, so.”

You rolled your eyes. “So…the Great Khal wishes for the birth of his child before he wishes to give his life to you. I don’t see that as unreasonable. Do you not wish for your nephew or niece to lay eyes upon their father before war?”

He shifts uncomfortably. “Well, I’m not a cold-hearted person.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Hey! If I can’t make any insults than neither can you towards me.”

“Fine.”

“Anyway, the child will have Dany to care for her. Now is the time to act. I want my crown and if they don’t act, I’ll be forced to take matters into my own hands.”

“Is that what you wished to do when you came here drunk as a lord? Was that taking matters into your own hands?”

“I came here by mistake. I was tired from walking. Those Dothraki cunts robbed me of my steed then named me ‘Sorefoot King’.”

You chuckled and he immediately shoots daggers in his stare. You quickly stifle your laughter. “Sorry.”

“They never liked me. Neither of ‘em. If they did, they’d treat me to gifts the way they did for my sister. They’re all fools.”

“I’m sorry that you feel that way,” You put a hand on his shoulder and he looks at you in surprise. “You shouldn’t harbor these negative emotions and hatred towards your sister. This is a win for the both of you. Your issue is your approach. And that’s where I come in. As a former wife of a nobleman, I picked up a few things about playing the game of thrones.”

“What could you possibly know about ruling a kingdom?”

“I know a lot more than you do. Like for starters, calling the people who will serve under names isn’t doing well for your campaign. Neither is going on and on about being the dragon. You sound like a child. People want a man to rule. You’ve shown no indications of maturity.”

“You don’t know me. I did things to get where I am today yet my sister receives the praise. I have every right to be angry. My sister was gifted 3 dragon eggs for which I wished to sell off and find a better more capable army. If that’s not maturity I’m not sure what is.”

“You know nothing, Viserys. Even if you were to sell those eggs, whose to say whomever you’ve sold them to wouldn’t just kill you and use them to conquer lands. It’s exactly why I grew tiresome of being within the walls. I’m tired of the wars. Innocent people dying because of foolish mistakes made by those in power. You should wish to be different if you wish to rule. Stealing those eggs would be a huge mistake. Leave them be.”

“You don’t know my life. I’m the last hope of a dynasty. The greatest dynasty this world has ever seen, on my shoulders since I was five years old, and no one has ever given me what they gave to her. Never. Not a piece of it. How can I take my crown without making these moves, hmm? Who can rule without wealth or fear or love?”

You stared hard at him. You pitied the man. He’d lost his parents, siblings, cousins, and people to the Lannisters and the crown was taken from him. What exactly was a five year old to do in those times other than to take this as their reality.

After supper, the group all said their goodnights. Obviously, Tormund had not been pleased to see you and Viserys going into a tent together. Viserys goes into your home first and before you could Tormund stop you.

“You need me to keep guard?”

“Look at him and me, dear brother. I can easily overpower him.”

“I know but I just can’t imagine you dealing with the bastard.”

“I’ll be fine. I got some great information. So far, I know that he’s got an army. The Dothrakis.”

“Wow. How’d he managed to get them?”

“His sister is their Khalessi. You see, things could look up for them and possibly for us for the winter.”

“You’re optimism is your best attribute but also your biggest disadvantage. I love the hope you carry but please but cautious of this man. I still don’t fucking trust him.”

“I know and you’re right. I just want to take that leap of faith. You know what life for me was like behind those walls. I was subjected to my husband who beat me senselessly everyday and never gave me the freedom for my own choices. I get to make the choices now. I just want to find a way to repay you and my people for taking me in.”

“You don’t have to go through crazy measures for that. We already love and accept you.”

“I know but this is something that I need to do.”

“If it means to you that much, then I won’t stop you. Have a goodnight, sister. And don’t fuck that bastard.”

You scoffed, blushing profusely. “You have an active imagination. In what way have I shown any interest that I’ve wished to do that with him?”

“Oden told me about this afternoon in the medic tent.” Tormund laughs.

“I was simply fixing the arsehole’s shoulder.” You defended.

The two of you said your goodnights and he headed to his tent. When you went into the tent, you noticed that Viserys had laid in your bed instead of on the ground where you’d made a place for him to sleep,

“You wish to share the bed?” You asked.

“Well, I’m not sleeping on the floor. It’s filthy.” He says in disgust.

“Fine.”

You began to strip down from your heavy clothing and Viserys eyes widened.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m stripping down to my night gown.”

“You’re naked.”

“Like you’ve never seen tits before.”

“O-of course, I’ve seen tits but a lady shouldn’t strip in front of a man who isn’t her lover.”

You noticed he’s flustered and you can’t help but smile.

“Oh so I’m a lady now? Not a wretched swine?” You teased. “Well, luckily for you those customs matter not here. Besides… I’m no lady.” You slipped on your night gown then got into the bed beside him.

You and Viserys made an effort to stay as far away from each other as possible. In your mind, you felt like the moment your skin touched his you’d immediately jump his bones as twisted as it was. You couldn’t sleep and although his back was facing you, you knew based off his stirring that he was awake, too.

He breaks the silence. “Me and My sister had to live off as street urchins struggling for food and shelter. I’ve been called plenty names but ‘The Beggar King’ hurts the most. I use to steal food from merchant carts for us to have something to eat. Once they recognized me as a thief, I sold myself off for sex in exchange for money. All to keep us afloat. We were the only family we had. So yes, sometimes I have some hatred towards her because it feels like she had it easy. I had to grow up.”

You stayed silent, letting him vent. He may have been a terrible person but he wasn’t always so bitter.

“I overheard you speaking with your leader. You’ve also had to fight for your place in this world even as a noblewoman. It’s probably why you didn’t hesitate to hit me back. I guess I deserved that,” He clears his throat. “Anyway, that’s off my chest. I’ve told you everything.”

“Thank you.”

“Yes, well, how could I not when you’ve constantly threatened,” He laughs. For the first time you heard him laughs, you assumed he was incapable of joy unless inflicting pain on others. “Goodnight then.”

“Goodnight.” You whispered.

Silence again. Then, he breaks it once more. “C-could you play in my hair?”

“What?”

“It’s just that I’d do it myself but my dominant arm is out of service. I usually twirl a finger in my hair to calm me as I sleep.”

“I can’t believe you’re admitting that to me.”

“Me neither. It could just be the hallucinogenic herbs that healer gave me. Makes me talk nonstop and say stupid things. Forget what I said about playing in my hair.” He says, squeezing his eyes shut hoping to sleep and forget the conversation. Then, he felt your fingers running through his hair. It’s soft and silky. You’re fascinated by it’s beautiful near florescence.

He sighs from your touch, heart beating fast when he feels your breasts pressed up into his back now. Your hands leave his hair, going under his shirt now to feel his stomach.

“Does that feel good?” You whispered his ear.

“Uh huh.” Was all he could manage to say, his focus centered around your hand exploring his abdomen.

You kissed the shell of his ear, biting the earlobe as you made your way down his pants. You played with the pubic hair sticking out just above the waistband of his underwear. “Tell me you want this.”

“I want it.” He says in breathy voice.

You bring your hand up to his mouth. “Spit.”

He obliges, spitting into your hand. You use this hand to go into his underwear, wrapping your hand around the thick base to coat in his saliva.

“Oh Gods.” He groans. He helps you lower his pants a bit, his cock fully released from its restraint. You get to look down and see the white perfectly trimmed pubic hairs frame around a beautifully thick cock. He’s uncircumcised and usually it’d turn you off but you found it to be so alluring. You jacked him slowly, feeling him writher against you.

“Your cock is so big, Viserys. I want to feel it inside deep, deep, deep inside me.”

His eyes flutter close. He wished he could talk back and say anything but he was in such bliss that his mouth couldn’t allow him to waste energy of speaking. He turns his head to the side and captured his lips in a sensual kiss. Your tongues wrangling with one another. In the meantime, your grip tightened d around him and you began to stroke harder.

He began to whimper a little too loud for your liking. If you didn’t stop him, he’d wake the whole camp by the time he climaxes. You break from your kiss and place your free hand over his mouth while you continued to stroke him. He got louder and louder with each tug. Sometimes, you’d give some attention to his balls before going back up to his stroke the base once more.

“You’re about to cum, aren’t you?”

He nods, frantically.

“Go on and cum for me, love. Make a mess in my hands.”

It was all the permission he needed to let go, he violently shook against you, whined and sobbed into your hand as you milked him for all he’s worth. Ropes of thick white cum shoot onto the mattress and on your hand.

You removed your hand from his mouth still stroking his sensitive cock but giving him the time to breathe the air around him. He whines with every tug until finally he couldn’t take it anymore placing his hand over yours to prevent you from continuing on.

“I’m sorry I might’ve overdone it.” You say against his neck in between kissing and sucking at the skin.

“That was possibly the hardest I’ve ever orgasmed.” He says, panting.

“It was a beautiful sight. You look so pretty under my control.”

“No woman can control me.” He refutes.

“We’ll see about that.” You smirked.

—————

You hardly had any rest last night. The night was spent with you and Viserys making out the entire night and heavy groping each other. With all the women Viserys has been with, none of then compared to you. Your touch went beyond sex. He could only imagine what it’d be like when he finally gets to have you. You being a wildling meant nothing to him. You were just two people starving for one another regardless of any titles.

When you had to get up in the morning, he couldn’t bare the thought of not having you pressed up against him. Not after knowing how incredible it felt to have your soft thick thigh wrapped around his waist or your arms that wrapped around him so tightly in a warm embrace. He’s only known you about a day and a half or 2 and he already couldn’t imagine being without you.

“I have to go.”

“5 more minutes.” Viserys says, muffled by his face buried your bosom.

“You said that 5 minutes ago,” You say, bringing his head up to look at you. “I must go. I have chores to do. Everyone contributes their part in our home.”

“Then, I’ll…join you.” He says, not sure if he meant it himself.

“You really don’t have to.”

“Aren’t you the one who said you’d help me be king? Today’s first lesson.”

“I guess you’re right. You won’t do any strenuous activities but I will want you to be kind to all that you encounter. That’s your first lesson.”

“Just to be kind,” He scoffs. “That’s easy.”

“Um, right.” You say, keeping your comments to yourself. You hop out of bed and got dressed, handing Viserys his original clothing to dress in again now that it was cleaned of the blood and patched up at the shoulder.

Going out into the camp meant that neither you nor Viserys can show any signs of affection. Tormund can sniff out the slightest indistinct movement and relate it to romantic advances like a pure bred hound.

Walking through the camp, the first task that you’ve decided would help Viserys break down his walls is going fruit picking with the children.

“Children? Ughh, I hate children.” Viserys groans.

“No, you don’t. Your just unfamiliar with them. Haven’t had to take care of another child since your sister. Now you get show of your kindness to children whom you don’t know for the simple fact that you want to be kind and nothing more in return.”

“How does this help me obtain my crown?”

“Because parents see how well you treat their children, they’ll see you as a charitable leader. People want to follow leaders that are charitable and kind. Why don’t you help those girls pick those berries from the bushes? You can talk and ask them questions. I’ll be right behind you.”

He sighs but, nonetheless, he persists. Heading over to the group of children, he picked the berries with them and instead if having to ask them questions the girls were quick to ask him questions about his hair and where he came. It was a wholesome moment that had you smiling like an idiot. The moment was only slightly ruined when he brought up being the ruler of the Seven Kingdoms.

You’d actually caught few smiles every now and then. He’s slowly learning the ways of kindness. It was enough…for now. But Viserys was a work in progress, he had a lot to learn about being king. Unlearning certain negative traits was only the beginning.

By the end of the day, Viserys had been eager to help nearly everyone all for the exchange of praises. If you’d known that praising him would make him this much of a pleasant surprise, you would’ve kissed his ass a day ago.

He runs up to you after building the fire for supper and he’s beaming with joy. “Did you see that? I practically taught your tribe a new way of building a fire. A sufficient way.”

“Yeah. I see that.”

“So does this mean your people will work with me?”

“Oh, sweet, Viserys. We’re not nearly enough for an army. Also, you this already…my people submit to no one. They’ll never willingly wish to be ruled. You must apply what you’ve learned when you get back to your sister. Show those Dothrakis that you’re there and you matter, too.”

He nods. “That’s sound advice.”

“Of course, it’s sound advice. I’ve not steered you wrong yet.”

You noticed Tormund, staring between you while he helped prepare the meat. That look only meant that he’d seen something between you and Viserys.

“Excuse me, Viserys. I must go speak with the leader.”

He nods and your briskly made your way to over to Tormund. The moment you got to him, you crossed your arms and pouted like a kid that didn’t have it their way.

“Why are you looking at me like this?” He asks.

“You were staring first.” You answered.

“Could I not stare?”

“Not the way you were. You looked at me as if your disappointed in me. What’d I do?”

He sighs, no long beating around the bush. “You fucked him?”

“Of course not.”

“There are love bites littered all over his neck.”

“So this deduces to the conclusion that I’ve fucked him? That’s just bruising from yesterday when I choked him, okay. Nothing more.” You lied. You hadn’t fucked him but he didn’t need to know that you’ve thought about it and that you’ve been thinking about it all day. You hated lying to a man who you cared for so dearly but you don’t wish for him to see you as a king’s whore for bedding Viserys.

“I apologize, sister. I’m just protective of you. That’s all. I don’t want your heartbroken once you see him for what he is the way I do.”

“It’s not like I’m so lovesick damsel. I just want to give him the benefit of the doubt.”

He nods. “You’re not a love sick damsel. You have the right to your decisions. I just hope one of those decisions aren’t to have him stick his cock in you.”

“Must you be so vulgar?” You groaned.

————

It was a week and a half since Viserys has arrived to your camp. He was practically a wildling by this point helping out your people even without your supervision. But he’s healed which meant that he’ll be leaving soon. You’d given him all that he needed to know about controlling his allies and gaining followers to regain his empire.

Of course, there were moments of push back by the arrogant fool, believing himself to gain power without the commands of a woman. You’d straightened him up whenever you were alone in your tent denying him from orgasm when every you stroked his cock. It was torturous for you not being able to sleep with him whenever you’d seen his large member. But you swore not to go that far unless you’d end up attached.

“Gently relax your fingers to release your bow. Trust in yourself.” You stayed behind from the hunt to help prepare for dinner with the others when you ended up giving a lesson to Viserys about shooting with a bow and arrow.

He lets go of the arrow and it flies passed the tree he’s aimed at. “What the fuck? I specifically targeted that tree.”

“It takes a time to measure whether your aimed exactly on your target or not.”

“Bows and arrows are a waste of time. Why not just use a sword like everyone else?” He pulls out his sword from the holster.

“I just choose not to. Not everyone could find sword of Valyrion steel. Also, I don’t know how to use a sword.”

“I can teach you to use mine.”

“You know how to use your sword.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, nothing.”

He shoots you an annoyed look. “Anyway, let me teach you how to swing.”

He hands you his sword before coming up behind you. Placing his hands over yours, he helps you get comfortable swinging it around. It’s heavy and the weapon frightened you yet you felt so secure in his arms.

At one point, your ass brushed against his erection and he lets out a low groan. Closing the space between your bodies, you melt into him. Your bodies flushed against one another as he lightly grinds his hard cock into your plush bottom. You look back at him. The two of you forgetting the task at hand, the sword drops to the floor.

“We should stop. Tormund will show up any moment.”

“To hell with him. I want you to fuck you apart.”

“No, he’s my leader and I will not disrespect him in this way.”

“Because your both in love with one another?”

“What? Absolutely not. He’s like family. My brother.”

“That’s typical Targaryen custom.”

“To fuck family? You’ve done it…with your sister.”

“Of course not.”

“Do then why my brother?”

“How can you not see that he cares for you? He’s constantly staring at us. He won’t allow you and I to fuck as we please. He’s always trying to attack me on your behalf.”

“That’s just what brothers do. You should understand this from someone who’s had to fight for their survival along with their sister.”

He exhales deeply. “I think it’s different. I think he cares for you more than that and you’re to in denial to see it.”

“You’re wrong and you don’t know him or me.”

“Apparently neither do you.”

You glared at him for while when you heard the chortling and laughter of the hunting group. Pushing passed Viserys, you went to greet the group.

For the rest of the night, you avoided both Tormund and Viserys. You needed to rethink everything. No way did Tormund see you more than just family. Absolutely not! Viserys believes he has your people all figured out when in reality he was as clueless as the kneelers within the walls.

When the time for slumber fell, you decided to stay out and drink with the watchmen instead of going into your tent. You’d gotten slightly intoxicated and the men quickly cut you off and escorting you to your tent.

You stomped inside your tent annoyed that the men believed you to be a lightweight. Viserys wasn’t there. Nowhere in your tent. Had he left? His sword wasn’t put up anywhere either.

You felt yourself slowly begin to tear up at the thought of him leaving without saying goodbye. Of course he’d leave. He had no obligations to you and he’s practically. He had his people to return to, as well. Tormund said that he’s break your heart. You never thought you’d become so attached so soon but here you were sobbing in your cot for him.

The tent entrance opens up and you quickly sprung up. It’s Viserys. He hadn’t left after all.

“What’s wrong? Why do you shed tears?”

You wiped at your face. “I’m not sure.”

“It’s about what I said? About Tormund being in love with you.”

“No. I just don’t know. Okay?! I don’t understand these feelings that I have for you right now but just moments ago I thought you’d left. I was so scared I’d never see you again.”

“I was only trying to practice the bow and arrow,” He says sitting at your bedside. “I felt like a failure for not being able to shoot the darn thing. I’ve never even raised a sword in combat. Real combat. I thought if I could shoot at least one arrow at a target, I’d be worthy enough to be king. But I’d never leave you without saying goodbye. If I’m honest, I’ve healed for quite some time ago. I simply stayed because I can’t leave yet. Not without you. I only questioned your love for your leader because I knew you wouldn’t leave with me.”

“As much as I yearn for you, I can’t follow you. This is where I belong. I’ve left a life of nobility for my freedom. Going with you will only continue the pattern.”

“I won’t lay a hand on you. Not ever again. I will be better than your husband. I will treat you as a queen should.”

You shook your head. “I don’t want to be queen. I just want you.”

You crawled over to him on all fours and pressed a soft kiss to his lips then slowly pulled away.

“I leave tomorrow,” He whispers. “If I leave here without you. We will never meet again. But I will protect your people. I will make sure your given clothes, food, weapons—anything you need really. It will be my appreciation to you. For teaching me how to be a leader and how to let go of the anger I have inside me.”

You breathed our your relief. “Thank you.”

He nods. “I should get some rest. I have a long road ahead of me.”

He removes his shoes and most of his clothes remaining in his underwear. He crawls into laying on his side. You lay back as well, your eyes taking in each other’s faces to commit them to your memories.

“That night when you first touched me,” Viserys begins. “Why did you do it? I enjoyed it, yes, but you showed no signs that you wanted me in this way.”

“If I can be honest, I wanted you the moment I learned your name. When you told me about your life, I just wanted to protect you and show you the love you’ve never received. It turns out I needed this a lot more than you.”

“I need you more than you could ever know. Kiss me once more. I can’t imagine leaving without feeling your lips on mine.”

You soothe down his hair then cupped his face, pulling him into a sensual kiss. It’s deep and your tongues play a massive part in eliciting moans from one another. You roll your bodes so that you’d rest on top of him. Pulling off your night gown, you rock back and forth over his hard erection.

He gasps at the feeling. He swore he could feel how wet you were through the barriers of cloth.

Rising up just enough, you lowered his underwear to around his knees then pushed your panties to the side. You were aching badly enough that you could burden yourself to go into foreplay. You wanted him now.

He lines his cock with your dripping core then you sunk down, taking all 10 inches of him into your warm channel.

You both moan simultaneously. He grips you hips but you remove them, pinning them above his head.

“Don’t move them.” You bounced on his cock and already the unmistakable squelching fills the room.

He’s whimpering and will soon get louder. He knows he should be keeping quiet. Usually, he wouldn’t care to make noise regardless of your need to hide your relationship with him but he knew if he did you’d stop. If you were to stop, he’d for sure die. So, his best bet to stifle his moans were simply to bite his lip.

You were rocking and grinding against him your clit rubbing against his bony pelvis. There was something about having this man beneath you that set you in a frenzy. You could easily overpower him and toss him around like your little boy toy but you’d remained gentle enough because he needed some tenderness.

You hover your face over his taking his bottom lip into your mouth. This was a bad idea as he reverted back to loud moaning. He sounded so pathetic yet so erotic causing more of your slick to run down his length and inner thighs. Sadly, you needed to silence him or this could end shortly. You french kissed him once more a hand wrapped loosely around his throat while you did so.

You felt so good around him. Your plump ass colliding against his lap along with the pillowy sensation of your cunt and thighs made his eyes roll into the back of his skull. He wished to worship your body. To kiss every fold, every curve, every part of you. He figured he’d have the whole night to do this. Being well-rested meant nothing to him in this moment.

“Ungh, fuck mommy please.” He whispers against your lips. His eyes snapped to your looking slightly embarrassed.

“Mommy will take care of you, baby. Let me make you feel good.” You assured.

“Can I touch you now, mommy?”

“Yes, you may.”

He sits up, sucking on your hardened nipple while his hands were on your ass to guide you up and down on his length.

“Spit in my mouth, Viserys. Please.”

He’s shocked to see you give this one chance of power over you. It swelled pride in his chest and for a moment he already felt like a true king.

He digs his thumb and index finger into your cheeks forcing your mouth open. You hold out your tongue and spits on it. You immediately retracted your tongue into your mouth swallowing and savoring his taste.

“So good. I’m so close.”

Viserys fucks up into you. Your hungry cunt swallowing him inside as if it didn’t want to let go. He felt you flooding him with each hit against you g-spot.

“Such a good boy. You love making mommy cream all over you.”

“Yes, yes, yes,” He chants, timing it with his thrusts. He can feel his balls drawing up. He was going to cum hard and soon. “I’m going to cum.”

“Me, too. Please cum in me. Want to have a piece of you inside me.”

“Shit! Ah, oh fuck. You’re making me cum,” He says breathless, eyes rolling into the back of his head once again. His back is against the mattress, letting you have your way with him as his warm essence coats your walls. As exhausted as he was, he managed to bring a hand up to your clitoris, rubbing profusely.

You tighten around him so hard that after spurt of cum shoot through you. You cum hard, your world shattering before you. You bite into you arm to keep from screaming. Viserys senses your clenching and unclenching pussy soaking him and he takes the added lubrication to fuck faster into you, adding heightened sense sensation to your orgasm. He’s ruthless with his movements on your clit as well and you convulse, squirting your juices all over him.

Once you’d calmed down enough, the two of you ground into each other to the point if sensitivity. The aftershocks ran through your bodies until you were both spent. You finally removed yourself on top lying beside, both panting for air in the now thick atmosphere.

“I love you.” Viserys says then kisses your forehead.

“I love you, too.” You admitted.

“If you ask me to stay here with you and your people. I’d say yes.”

“What about the crown? Your throne?”

“None of it matters if I don’t have you. I want to spend my life with you. For you to be the mother of my children.”

You cradled his face. “There’s nothing more I would love than for you to stay here with me…but you can’t. You’ve wanted the crown for so long. Fought to survive for the chance to one day rightfully gain your title. I don’t wish to take that from you. I don’t want you to regret. You belong on the throne. You’ll be the only man I’ll ever see truly as a king because you know what it is to suffer and you don’t wish this for your people. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay. I’ll always love you, Viserys.”

“I’ll always love you, Y/N.” He could feel himself getting teary-eyed. He felt ashamed to be so vulnerable in front of you. But you wiped away his tears and kissed him softly. He immediately forgot his shame.

The rest of the night you held each other, your naked bodies intertwined. It was the happiest you’ve been in love in a long time. You slept soundly against warm body, hoping tomorrow will never come.

————

A few years went by and you’ve not heard a word from Viserys. At first, you were convinced he forgot about you and that you’ve failed your people. But it was much worse. You learned that he was dead and that his sister was the last of her people. The one who’d take the throne.

You felt sick. Cried many nights. Even after so many years, your love for him was never displaced. You blamed yourself for not asking him to stay. Had he stayed, he’d be alive…with you. With his son.

“Mother,” Your son, Haegarth, runs towards you straight into your arms. The silver white of his hair the striking resemblance of his father. “How was your hunt?”

“It went well.”

“I’d love to hunt someday, mother. I want to be as brave and tough as you.” He points.

You laugh. “And that you will.”

“W-was my father brave, too?” He says looking nervously at the ground then back at you.

You give him a sincere smile. “He was more than brave. He was truly like a king.”

Your boy smiles widely and you both walk hand and hand, joining the rest of the group. The future of your life was to be decided by the Gods but you hoped someday you’ll one day be reunited with your love again.

[ddivilove]

𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐀 - 𝐎𝐍𝐄

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

character(s): Eros Vasilios

manhwa(s): Your Throne

tw: violence

reminder: this will be a manhwa crossover series, featuring Eros Vasilios from Your Throne and Dion Agriche from The Way to Protect the Female Lead's Older Brother. Expect violence and possessive attitude in the series because this guys are known for it. Anyway enjoy ^^

Name had finally gotten away. Figuratively that was. Her husband had relented enough to let her explore the vast village, that she's never explored.

But, of course not every want was exactly how you want it to go. Her husband had simply invited himself into the trip as well. This annoyed her to the fullest, yet she tried to keep herself calm. Once she gets upset and yells at him, it'll be all over for her. She'll never see the beautiful shine of the sun again.

She tried distracting herself from him by looking at the beautiful scenery. Her husband was a man of great importance to the Vasilios council. He was the prince's good friend a better friend than any other so he told her.

Not that she's ever seen or heard of the works of his so-called friend. Eros Orna Vasilios was a name forbidden to be mentioned in her husband's house. At first, she had not questioned it, but now curiosity took over her. What was there between her husband and the prince that he was trying to hide from his wife?

Name pushed the thoughts away. She should not think of this when she was supposed to be happy that she was out.

As the carriage stopped, her husband took her wrist. "You know the rules." He said, in a threatening tone. "Do not dare try escaping. Or you're never coming out of that house understood?"

She nodded, she was not planning on doing it anyway. Yet her dear husband just had to assume that so many things came to her mind once she was out in the sun.

Her husband scanned the crowd before letting go of her wrist. "I expect you in this location by evening fall. If you are not back by then—"

"You'll lock me up in my room again and never let me out ever." She cut him off. "I am aware of your threats, darling. I will not run." He regarded her with a cool stare before waving her off.

Finally! Alone at last, she ran through the stalls looking at the beautiful things made by the commoners.

The place was lively, so many people chattering and enjoying themselves under the sun.

As she bought some food from a cheerful and kind vendor, she overheard a conversation.

"Do you think the prince will choose another bride?" A lady said in a hushed tone.

"I am not sure. Isn't he in love with Lady Solon?" Another female asked.

The first lady shook her head. "I heard they barely get along and he plans on leaving her." She had to strain her ears to hear the rest of the conversation. Apparently Lady Medea and His Majesty were engaged, but from what the lady said Eros had broke off the engagement for a reason she had not heard properly.

"I heard he has quite an interest with Duke Armani's daughter." This made her pause. Her? The prince had an interest in her? It would've been normal of commoners to think the such, but a lady such as the two? The thought gave her a bad feeling.

Was this what the nobles thought of her as? No, it couldn't be right?

She walked away before those ladies said something that might upset her day even more.

After an hour of walking around the village, she got tired and found a cafe where she could sit for a while. A sigh escaped her lips, she was exhausted. She still had hours to explore.

At that moment, a man entered the cafe. The mysterious male went to a nearby table and sat there. At that same moment as she stared at him with interest, the man turned her way.

She flushed as they made eye contact. She looked away from those crimson eyes, looking towards the window. How embarrassing. She wondered what her husband was doing while she was gone. Perhaps he was enjoying himself?

Meanwhile, her husband was being beaten up by the prince himself.

"You traitorous bastard." Eros Vasilios glared as he kicked the man. "Marrying a girl who you know I like." He took him by the collar. "Perhaps we can make a deal, no? Unless you wish to die, of course." His voice was threatening him and the beaten up male knew it.

"What deal..." The male could barely breathe as the prince was choking him. His hand gripped onto the traitor's neck.

A dark chuckle escaped Eros' lips as he let go of his neck. "You of all people should know what I want." He stared at pitiful figure.

"She...won't...let...you..." The male choked out the words as a sudden tug of his hair brought waves of pain and agony.

"Not unless I order her. And I will." Eros' eyes were filled with a venomous rage.

"You're a monster." The man spat out as Eros laughed.

"Maybe I am, but you won't be there to tell her."

"You plan on killing me then?" He said through gritted teeth.

"I am not that foolish, no. I will keep you alive. But, of course you'll be spending your worthless days in a dungeon." Eros smirked. "Guards, take this filth away."

"What about his wife, sir?" The head guard asked.

"I will tell her myself." He put on his gloves. "Focus on the traitor."

Name came back to the location, just as the sun set fully. There she was met with an unexpected sight. A royal coach.

What was it doing here?

A male came out of it. Blue hair and piercing grey eyes that almost looked white. "You must be his wife." The male said, holding out his hand. "Eros Orna Vasilios, a pleasure it is finally to meet you."

A gasp escaped her lips. The prince himself! He was as charming as the ladies of the court had said. "What are you doing here, Your Majesty?" She asked, nervously.

"Your lord husband has gone through quite a predicament." This made her even more nervous as she stared into those grey eyes. "He has betrayed the empire!"

Her eyes widen. That struck her harder than a slap ever would. "H-He what?!" Her head was spinning as she tried processing everything that he just said. Her husband? Betraying the empire?!

"I understand that this may be hard for you, Lady Name." Eros said, as he stepped closer. "While we figure out what to do with him, you shall stay in the castle as my guest." He murmured as he took her hand. "It truly is a bad timing, and I apologize for ruining your day."

He then escorted her to the coach, and they went back to the castle.

There she was taken to her room, but with much pleading the prince allowed her to speak with her husband.

"Name?" Her husband sat up from his bed when he heard her familiar voice. "Listen you have to get out—" his eyes widen as he saw the prince next to his wife.

The prince gave him a victory smile as he leaned by the wall. "She wanted to see you. Be glad I agreed." He shrugged, before settling down to let the two talk.

The two exchanged statements for a while, the female was so worried for her husband. This enraged the already pissed off Prince even more as he finally spoke up. "Perhaps we should go now, my lady. Your husband will need his rest for tomorrow's meeting." Name sighed as she let go of her husband's hand, standing up to go to the prince.

The prince looked at her, giving her a small smile to comfort her. "Go on ahead." He said, looking at her then her furious husband. "I'll be there in a moment."

The moment Name was out of the way. Eros walked to the cell with the male.

"What do you want?" The male spat out.

Eros smiled. "Just came to tell you not to worry."

"About what?"

"Don't worry because she's in great hands." Eros said darkly as he walked away.

[lets-get-kraken-boys]

I feel if any Yanderes were to team up, it would be the og deku squad (Midoriya, ochaco, and iida) because they have had the closest bond for the longest time, and they all seem like they would be more protective than possessive of their darling… idk that’s just me. Any opinions/headcanons?

Holy shit. I POPPED OFF for Iida! Wow! I need you guys to read this. I AM SO PROUD OF THIS RANDOM HEADCANON.

✩࿐

I 100% agree with you! I can see them working really well together. Both on the battlefield, and behind the scenes as a couple, of sorts.

Izuku is, of course, the most calculated thinker of the trio. Time and time again he's outsmarted opponents and villains much bigger, much stronger, and much faster than him, and I have no doubt that he would whip up the same smarts around you. While he does get a bit more distracted because, well, it's you we're talking about (your beauty is very distracting to the poor broccoli LMAO), he isn't stupid. Every flirt you throw in his direction in an attempt to catch him off guard, every discovered escape attempt, every lie you've ever told him to find the chip in his armor that will help you escape from his grasp; he sees through it all. And he's planned for it all, too.

I love to imagine him as a super manipulative/cunning Yandere. While he does not behave like this Canon-wise, he's proven to be a very quick learner, so I think he'd adapt to the lifestyle pretty smoothly. I am not saying he will, or wants to, hurt you with his new talent! More like he'll feign innocence and trick other people around him into getting his way. He knows he doesn't look super threatening with his round face and freckled cheeks, but looks can be deceiving. He uses what he once viewed as his flaws to his advantage. He cons, lies, and tricks his way to your side, and gets so comfy sitting on his throne that he isn't too keen on leaving.

When he's with the other two, he is complacent, but a little peeved. He wanted to have you to himself (as all of the Yanderes do), but he figures sharing you is better than constantly fighting others for your unwilling hand.

Don't worry, he'll love you until death comes to drag him off this earth! He understands it's new and overwhelming to be surrounded with so much love all the time, but he'll be patient. If he can suffer years at Kaachan's side being degraded and beaten 'til he felt like a speck of trash on the grimy sidewalk, then the words you throw at him hardly even sting. He'll endure it because his love is Plus Ultra!

Uraraka's a fun case because she already has a crush on one of the two in the group! She adores Deku, to the point where it might evolve into another obsession of hers! To her, that makes the formation of this group even easier to adjust to.

In Uraraka’s imagination, this relationship is a fantasy land. She's the cute princess who can kick ass, but choose to wait around for her one true love. Izuku, the Brave Knight, comes along and she thinks that is where her 'Happily Ever After' ends. When all of a sudden, another beautiful royal stumbles into her fairytale. You! You're just the sweetest thing she's ever met, you make her feel like she's on Cloud 9 every time you smile at her. When your eyes meet, Uraraka feels as dizzy as she does when she uses her quirk for too long. This is it! Her true love! Well, Deku makes her feel the same way, so how can this work...? That is the moment Ochaco decides that she actually has two true loves! (Good thing Deku has fallen in love with you too.)

However, all things considered, she's greedy.

It's not like that's a bad thing! Or, at least, she hopes you don't see that as a bad thing...she just loves you so much! At times, it gets very very hard for her to share you with the other two boys. Uraraka has convinced herself that you swoon over Izuku and Iida. As if you're head-over-heels in love with them, but you don't act that way around her. All you seem to be around her is scared and nervous. Uraraka thinks about the multiple times she's turned her back to you, wondering if those are the moments you wait for to shower the boys in love, affection, words of praise, kisses, hugs—everything she wants from you but gets denied in a whine of protest.

It's a delusional thought, for sure; she doesn't even give you that much time alone to be able to try something like that with them. But, the more she indulges in the idea, the more irritated she gets. Not at you! At them.

Maybe she should try harder to get more quality time with you, skip a class or two to personally bond with you. She wants warm hugs and gentle kisses from your luxurious lips! You won't deny her for too much longer...right, cupcake~?

Iida. Tenya, Tenya, Tenya. What a methodical boy he is. I think of Pandora's box when I see him, especially when he's written as Yandere. Simple, even clean kept on the outside, but housing a house of horrors on the inside.

We truly get to see the berserk inside of him during the Stain arc. The way he behaved around the villain, the irrationality of the decision he made, I believe it was only a tiny glimpse at his true unhinged ways. And that's when he's in the Canon series! Not even a Yandere, and already so crazy! It just shows that he'd do anything for the people he loves. Even kill another human being.

I think he'd try so desperately to keep that psycho wrapped up, and he'd do a great job at it too! Collected, rational, the perfect stick-in-the-mud nerdy guy. He's cool with the arrangement of the three of them taking care of you. To be honest, there's no one he trusts more with your safety than his two closest friends. He always tells you that he's your knight in shining armor, and to come to him for anything you need assistance on. He will protect and provide.

However, his cheery attitude takes a sharp 180° turn when he finds you trying to escape one day. He'll get in your face, take you away from where you were trying to leave from, pin you to the wall, and scream in your face about how dangerous the situation was. About how badly you could have hurt yourself, how heartbroken and worried the three of them would have been, how you can never truly escape them since they'd—since he'd never give up looking for you. He’d leave you trembling in your boots when he’s done, possibly with fat tears streaming down your cheeks and actively seeking comfort from the other two because of how scary he'd become.

It'd take a while for Izuku and Uraraka to trust him being alone with you again. You were still shaken up after that night. But it wasn't because of the rough physical treatment he'd used, it wasn't the yelling, it was his eyes. They shifted so dramatically from the kind, understanding, deep sea blue to a searing steel gray in seconds. The eyes you grew to recognize, and sort of trust again, had become strangers in those slim ticks of time. His eyes reflected the mechanical drive of his bloodlust, his aggression.

He was more machine than man at that moment. A robot designed to keep you prisoner in their isolated vault.

And that thought alone was your true realization that leaving this mad trio was near, if not entirely, impossible.

Overall, I think their trio would work phenomenally well! It would be so sweet, so fluffy, as long as you behave. However, there is definitely some serious underlying jealously between the Yanderes that will have to be fixed. If it isn't...well, before long, they will tear each other apart from the inside out~!

I hope you enjoyed this! I had fun writing it. Love making these kids crazy lol.

With Love,

Kraken 🐙