#i want loadsa people to see this

[phosphosuppmain]

I have discovered there isn't a super cutesy "Do It For Him" for Freminet so I took it into my own hands....

I care him so so much

[mythvoiced]

@theimpalpable | 👀🦊🐲

"It's like a little fantasy of sorts, maybe, I guess," relationships should be about communication, right? And Hyun has never met a more communicative person than chief of her heart, owner of her being, key to just about any lock of hers, Yeong Boram. If there's anyone who would welcome her, no, if there's anyone who'd want her to be open about... mundane and deep things alike... it'd be him, right?

Then why does it feel so terribly... flustering, still?

She makes a point out of keeping her leaning into the counter behind her with complete and utter nonchalance, so much nonchalance, in fact, that it looks forced.

"You know, I thought... it'd be nice? I could show up at the office and... 'oh, who's that, is that your girlfriend? Wow! How'd you guys meet' and everyone would tell you how pretty I am - because I am, but that's besides the point, I don't want the compliments-"

She's peeling an apple she's lost interest in eating ten minutes ago, which is probably why she's taking so long with it. Or maybe she's taking so long because if she had this conversation without anything to keep her hands busy, she'd actually feel more than a little flush of embarrassment.

Seriously, is it getting hot in here, or-

"Maybe... It sounds silly, I don't need reassurance, I promise, but... I don't know. Could be... fun?"

[theangrypokemaniac]

Part Three

Almost everything I forgot.

One of these days I'll get someone to explain the appeal of Training Daze.

Years I've been on Tumblr, YEARS now, and I've never known an episode so cradled and cooed over in a bizarre, lock-step frenzy of undiluted praise, as if we all agree it's a blessing upon mankind.

Even the great Holy Matrimony!, too good for this sinful world that it was, never got that kind of senseless adulation.

And God rest its sweet, sweet soul.

I almost suspect this constant deluge of non-criticism serves as a shiny veneer coating the rather insalubrious reality, conditioning the entire fandom to swallow what it's spooning.

Because if everyone says it's good, it MUST be, right?

Is it just another perfectly harmless coincidence that Hoenn, being the first region after Team Rocket's creator left, is also the one to wipe so much established history away?

1. Ash effectively starts all over again with no Pokémon, setting the pattern for every era to come.

2. The entire past of Jessie and James is flushed down the shitter, making their connection much more shallow and conditional.

Prior to this, we knew they'd bonded long before as children, and so joining a crime empire didn't change anything.

But now? Well, if they only met as members, that's all their relationship is based upon.

They might have nothing in common otherwise, with completely conflicting personalities.

I mean, we can't really know if they'd stay together in the real world, can we?

No indeed, and let's be realistic: why would two complete strangers even want to be together?

What, just because they happen to work on the same team, that means they're gonna get married?

Ah come on, that's a bit of a stretch.

I work with loadsa people. I didn't fall in love with any of 'em.

Look, kids. One of these days you're gonna have to accept that people can be Just Friends without deluding yourself imagining all sorts of romantic fantasies.

Yeah. Shipping them is so silly, when you really think about it.

The way her legs cover his belt gives the impression James is boasting some sort of Team Rocket onesie.

3. As part of this Brave New World, the Rocketshipping element all about disappears from the script.

At a push, you have The Bicker the Better and 'But Jessie, sweetheart', and that's it, in four series.

Five if you're counting the spin-off.

Compare that to no hugs, no hand-holding, Sweet Baby James and this hammer blow:

Max: And I thought you were just a nice old couple.

Jessie: No one's ever called us old!

James: An certainly NOT a couple.

Oh? I'm sorry. I didn't quite catch that heavy-handed 'hint'.

SEE KIDS HE DOESN'T WANT HER THERE IS NOTHING THERE STOP SHIPPING THEM RIGHT NOW IT'S ALL JUST YOUR IMAGINATION!!!

Interesting that it started off as James openly rejecting her, but later developed into Jessie barely tolerating him.

I wish I'd been in the fandom then.

I'd love to know how this mythos of Training Daze as a piece of perfect wonder gained ground in the old forums, fans welcoming such blatant disrespect with open arms.

Or how early PoCo shills silenced dissent.

Yeah, this does completely annihilate every fragment of Team Rocket lore that we loved and cherished.

Now here's why that's A Good Thing...

Well no, flower. You can have the Indigo universe or this atrocity.

Pick one.

Go on. Do it. Why is that an uncomfortable choice?

Why would anyone spare a moment for something so contemptuous of its own fanbase it feels able to tear up and trample upon the very characters we care about?

Eh, they might as well I suppose.

No-one ever answers back.

On the contrary, they'll rush to defend, excuse and celebrate every deliberate manoeuvre.

For example:

Oooooooh! But what about the title?

The sub is called The Origin of Love of Youth!, which, I grant you, sounds promising, but mere words papering over shameless actions are no good to anyone.

First, whilst I suppose the translation is flawed, I'm not sure how this can be an 'origin of youth', given Jessie and James no longer meet in childhood, and are instead as old as they ever will be.

As for an 'origin of love', they've got some bloody nerve, kicking off the most openly Anti-Shipping region by burning the heart out of it, before finishing with James declaring he'd sooner die than marry Jessie.

And Pokémon, more or less over now, ended with them STILL not together, with every sign in between telling us it would never happen anyway.

Exactly what 'love' began here?

I expect Training Daze was slipped into a side-series to contain a potential backlash, where it would all be quietly forgotten without overshadowing the rest of Hoenn.

That miracle unforthcoming, the crew were thus emboldened to insert their various affronts to public decency into the main run, so now you can just shut up and like what yer given.

Yet this chilly Year Zero apocalypse leaves a vast wasteland in its wake, coercing fans to gobble up whatever comes along to plug the gap.

Accept Training Daze, and I'll presume you believe Crossing Paths! out of necessity, meaning Jessie is essentially a wriggling pervert with revoltingly warped desires, and if she asks you to come down the cellar then don't you be going.

'Cause yer won't come back.

As for James, you can go two ways:

• Left home at ten — ?????? — Team Rocket.

• Left home recently, and thus spent his life with Jessibelle, settled and uncomplaining, but doing a bunk once she put the banns up.

Take the first road, and there's a chasm of mysterious blackness in his background that remains unfilled to this day, and now never will be.

But opt for the second, and James chucked Jessibelle after leading her on for years, pissing off as soon as she wanted commitment, and was therefore as cruel and faithless to her as Darren the Div was to Orange Jessie.

Well cheers, retcon!

Hang on. I'll see what I can do.

Every recollection James has is always of his time at home, where he's never any younger or older than his missing poster, as if all his memories come from one single year.

There's no proof he was there at a later date, but also none that he wasn't, since we never see him beyond that age.

So thanks to this bollocks, we now have live with Jessie being a depraved sicko chasing after snotty nerds (NERDS, MAN!!!) and James potentially mistreating women.

Hah! You don't wanna ship 'em now, do yer?

And you wonder why I hate canon balls.

OOOOOOOOOOOH!!! IT SO DOES FIT WITH CANON!!!

Oh really? Proceed.

...

...Um...

...WELL!...Well!...Well now.

See...what happened was...well OBVIOUSLY...they split up in the bike gang didn't they? And then... then they went...somewhere else...

AND THEN...then...they just so happened to join Team Rocket...at the exact same time.

HAH! SEE! SEE! IT DOES FIT!!!

The first rule of propaganda is that a lie told enough times becomes the truth by virtue of repetition.

But the way this is regurgitated to shield a multi-billion dollar franchise goliath like poor defenceless PoCo from criticism is truly humiliating, for all concerned.

You'd imagine it was a well-documented fact given how often its rolled out, not an obvious Cope driving me fookin' insane!

How can it be a continuation if the sub's calling itself an origin?!

They're using The Bridge Bike Gang to prop up a shitshow that erases it in the first place, meaning any 'evidence' the former provides can't even exist in this timeline.

Which doesn't matter, as there isn't any.

Nowhere in that adventure are Chopper or Tyra surprised to see them together, nor do Jessie and James make any reference to a separation.

In fact they've not a single unhappy memory of their time there.

And what kind of excuse opens more questions than it answers?

Believe it, and they both left the gang in a huff, disappeared off the earth for an unknown period, before being independently inspired to join the Mafia, which was handy.

Where the bloody hell were they in between?

What argument could be so awful they vowed never to make it up, to the point they couldn't abide the sight of one another, and stormed off, planning never to meet again, for all the rest of their years left upon earth?

What was it even about?!

And how much time are we talking about?

Weeks? Months? Years?

Well a full decade of missing time, according to the above, being as Duh Twenny Fyve and that.

Ooh, but there's plenty o' clues during Training Daze, I'm sure. We just have to eke 'em out.

Ol' Fat Bastard Bullroarer Took introduces Jess to her new colleague, who — GASP! — happens to feature prominently in one of her multiple-choice Shameful Secret Pasts.

All together now:

It's a small world after all!

And that's enough to knock any girl off her crumpet.

Things Jess WILL say:

• Hmm. You seem familiar.

• Eh? Have we met before?

• Well, well, well. Long time no see.

• Hey, James! It's me, Jessie! Whoa, I can't believe this! How've you been keeping?

• Oh! You again!

• EH?! You mean HIM?! Oh no, you can forget that!

• What? JAMES?!

• OH! NO! NOT YOU!

• SO! WE MEET AGAIN!

• OOOH MY GOD!

It's coming, man. You'll see.

...

BUT! But! James will say it! He'll know her, no problem.

...

Not a flicker of recognition. At all.

Nor is there a single second of footage referencing this supposed Big Argument, proving it's an entirely fabricated excuse trying so hard to clean up after PoCo's tornado of death swept through the ship.

So why lie and pretend otherwise?

But whilst we're here, let's have a look at that definitely-not-cheesy thing James just said.

No one's carried me since my momma.

Yeah. The mother you're talking about there isn't your real mother Ma James, is it?

Else you mean no one's carried you since your governess, three nannies and a footman, til he put his back out.

Again, Holy Matrimony! is no longer canon, thus neither is the rest of Kanto, for the simple reason Hoenn James's 'momma' is some rough, chain-smoking fishwife with six kids by eleven men.

Actual documentary footage.

Well, it's the same accent, so I suppose that's something.

Although I will say, if you try to make it fit, it sounds like James did run off as a boy, even if his home was completely different.

So it doesn't work anyway.

Note that the only way you can have both Indigo and Hoenn canon mixed into some no-doubt cosy Frankenstein freak, offering out milk and there-there hugs, is by accepting that Jessie and James will and can separate over the most trivial issues, thereby leading you to also tolerate, and even justify, all the other Team-Rocket-Are-Splitting-Up episodes to come.

And I don't know why any of us would, as every one of them is predicated on Jessie and James NOT being a couple, not a sniff of hidden feelings even, for walking away is perfectly easy when there's no emotions involved.

Hmm. I don't remember any split-up episodes during the first series.

Certainly not. And guess why.

Now this was Nu-Thinking in its infancy, and yet to gain a foothold, meaning some attempt was made to rationalise the change.

But there's no explanation for how Crossing Paths! connects to Pokémon Tech., the bike gang, or even the Chansey School, given they've all to got to fit around Jessie's late-childhood crisis of Nurse Joy cosplay.

Perhaps it shows Training Daze did its job: buttering 'em up enough to take any punch to the gut, as long as it provided Feeble Emo Feelz in compensation.

Swear down, sometimes I think Pokémon only had a coherent narrative when it was gonna be a one-off.

Soon as that dream died it all went to pot.

During Sinnoh, for example, we go from the Jessie of Noodles! Roamin' Off! telling James to eff off home and marry Jessibelle, to the Jessie of Where No Togepi Has Gone Before! who is implied to be sharing a bed with him.

Take them both as true, and she's a manipulative bitch and bloody abusive, with James as her sad-bastard simp.

Nice.

And thanks to retcon magic, they always were like that now.

Because of the Noodles! ending, we're expected to forgot the beginning, where James almost killed himself trying to bring Jessie back.

Seems the writing can't even stay logical in one episode, as according to this she longs to spend eternity with him, but as for her life?

Nah, some other bird can take the hassle.

Everyone says James's childhood was a vision of horror, for growing up the cosetted only son of two billionaires is exactly as traumatic as struggling to survive as a homeless, starving orphan.

And don't let them pesky peasants tell you otherwise.

But then you have Jessie ordering him back to it.

So either his home life isn't so bad after all, or it is, and she'll happily send James into Hell rather than suffer him a moment longer.

It's SO shippy tho.

Oh look, another minger.

Like a Bay City Rollers tribute act with that collar.

If you were charitable, stooping to admit Dr. Shipman was 'alright', even then, does he remotely compare to James?

No!

Should we limit it to the ugly, boss-eyed Kalos style, then STILL James is superior, because he retains at least a portion of his anime roots.

Besides which, I can never forget James was once better animated, whereas for Dr. Crippen, this mug is as good as it gets.

And it's shit.

But, let's give him his due, he seems to possess two fully working eyes, which puts him one up on Daz 'n' Ozzy, even if they are the Fish-Eyed stare of a psychopath.

Of course, bringing him back down to their level is having No Bloody Nose, just a bridge which...goes nowhere.

And what's up with his neck?

Why is it so thin and elongated like a flamin' lollipop stick?

T.A.P's Law: Never trust a man with a long neck.

There's always a kink in it, like their souls.

Necks like that come from peering over walls to perv on silly women changing with the curtains open.

Conversely, never trust a man with no neck either.

That's from lurking in the bushes.

Is it, AGAIN, a coincidence that Jessie gets pawed off on to the most low-rate arse pickings possible?

What are you telling me? That Jessie is THIS worthless she goes for absolute biological crap, and since they don't want her, she is beneath them?!

And as she can't so much as stomach James, he's even worse than her?!

You look pretty today, Jessie.

I like your ear.

I'm irked at how, in a way, Dr. Shite is close to reasonable, at least within the restrictions of Kalos, yet the 'artists' made sure to stay just on the wrong side of average.

Had that flat, lank rug, supplying a chip shop its annual grease quota in one flick, been coloured black, we could've worked with it, turd-polished him up as the 'tall, dark and handsome' stereotype.

But NO!

Instead, they go for a murky shade between brown and grey, i.e. sludge.

Calm yourself, ladies.

Had his eyes been truly brown, then this could fit with that same 'ideal man' cliché.

But I think they might be veering into red.

EEEEEEEE!!! THE SATANIC HUE OF DÆMON SPAWN!!!

Somewhere along the line, him and Darren are in cahoots.

I insult Dr. Hook relentlessly for this episode, but, all facial flaws aside, it's not his fault.

He never asked for Kalos Jessie to throw her screeching fruit loaf at him; for some utterly unknown lunatic to force herself into his life, expecting to take over.

You ought to able to save a bint without her turning out be an obsessive nut claiming to be 'in love' after five minutes.

Really, he showed her nothing but normal human consideration, never led her on, and all the way through, stayed loyal to his midget girlfriend.

He likes her so much his right eye's popped out.

This is all on Kalos Jess.

She's the one abandoning her mates for a bloody stranger she knows nothing about, who might be a bloomin' serial killer for all she's aware.

Come on, every doctor's offed a few.

She's the one expecting Wobbuffet to take on some tarted-up single mother Wobba and her fatherless offspring.

But is he paying maintenance? 'Cause that's the real question.

She's the one not bothering to tell her friends she's safe, happy to let them go on believing her dead.

Oh, thanks a lot, love.

She's the one who knew James was robbed, beaten and alone, meaning he'd have NO ONE for the foreseeable future, and STILL wouldn't help until she had no other choice.

What a bitch, man!

Imagine how this was for me.

Little T.A.P. idolized Jessie. That was who I wanted to be when I grew up.

What do you think it is to see someone you love, the lively, fiery and beautiful young girl, twisted into a selfish, dried-up and soulless husk of woman?

We're supposed to see her as a weak, simpering airhead, who's 'in love' (HAH!) with every dribbling chump in her line of vision, which is bad enough when you realize how far she's fallen from the early years.

Have you NO dignity anymore?

But the actual depiction, beyond that sugary superficiality, is of a cold, callous, truly repulsive monster, with such a lack of concern for James's welfare she had to be FORCED to help him.

And I find myself in a state of cognitive dissonance.

I don't consider Kalos Jess to be Indigo Jessie, because the only similarity between them is they occupy the same space in the universe.

Problem is that the passive, 'mainstream view' is that they are, and so, immersed within it, by definition I'm expected to see it that way too.

I'm pressured by the planetary weight of blasé fandom culture, to see this heartless, vindictive harpie as no different from the girl I once hero-worshipped, and, as usual, she now was this all along, forever rotten to the core, and unworthy of my devotion from day one.

And I hate that.

As with Dr. Death, it would've been so easy to turn this around, scraping over the line of inadequacy with at least SOME redeeming elements.

If, at any point, Jessie had come to her senses, realized where her true heart lay, and ran back to James and Meowth, laughing at her own foolish fancies, I could've blamed it on brain damage.

If, having heard James's anguished plea for help, she'd dropped everything and rushed to his side, just as she did in Noodles!, this might count as the shippy-follows-anti-shippy rule, which I'd have suffered.

But do we get any o' that?

NO!

The ONLY reason she bothered to lift a finger to save her oldest friend was as she realized Dr. Fox didn't want her.

Whaddya yer see in him, Jess? He ain't even a man!

He looks about fourteen!

Meaning if Dr. Who HAD reciprocated, Jessie would've happily left James to fend for himself, potentially alone for life.

Yer fookin' evil bastard, Jessie!

Right at the end, she flings her bouquet from the balloon, for she's resigned to a loveless existence.

No wry smile, a shrug, or even philosophical attitude that eh, this is where she belongs, and alls well that ends well.

Nope, she resents coming back, and would leap at the chance to leave again, if anyone (and I do think it's anyone) offered it to her.

As to Kalos Jess, James is the lowest of the low, the pond slime company she settles for when nothing better is available.

He is the worst possible result, who she now can't even abide as a pal.

Oh charming, this is.

I have only seen this episode once and I will never watch it again, because it broke my bloody heart.

This was it. This was when I realized.

They'll never be together. All your dreams meant nothing.

I had inklings before, but like an idiot I pushed 'em down, unwilling to acknowledge what my own senses told me.

Year upon year of implications and, God help us, 'deconstructions' but this was the episode where the writers' intent was finally out in the open.

And people STILL didn't see it!

Apparently no one thought this hateful, nihilistic tantrum was anything to worry about, even trying to spin it as a positive that she came back at all, despite what it says about her reprehensible attitude.

As sod James and his feelings.

All that matters is Jess gets some half-witted knob-wrench to take her on fulltime.

Meowth can be sold on like a cheap, hand-me-down handbag, whilst James can suck it up and do one.

It's not just the clanging, anvil-to-the-head message that Rocketshipping is dead that got me, it's that it was murdered in the nastiest manner possible.

If it'd carried on as usual, all their romantic interludes fading to nothing, replaced by the anæmic, brother-and-sister creepfest they have now, it would've been a sad, tedious end, but rendered almost unimportant thanks to interest withering away.

But they couldn't even do that!

Instead, it the clear message that James loves her, but Jessie doesn't love him, and thus misery.

Worse, she hasn't a single platonic feeling for James, or even crumb of pity, though this is supposed to be a fella who's stood by her for the last five generations.

Kalos Jess is in fact ice all the way down, without a speck of humanity.

It's not even 'Just Friends' now! 'Cause that was too much to ask for an' all!

How this is meant to gel with Hoenn James's disgust I don't know, but his delight on seeing her, after all she did, downgrades the once-proud, arrogant posh boy into a broken, grovelling snotdrip, hanging around hoping she'll 'settle' for him once she's out of other options.

Fuq's ache, James!

You can do better than her, love. Jessibelle wouldn't have cheeked yer like that.

And then, for utterly no reason at all, Rumishipping suddenly looked attractive.

Remember how bad the montage was too? That gives you an idea of their opinion.

Although I suppose some of it's practicalities:

A. The 'art style' had degraded so badly by then that any 'best bits' from the first four regions wouldn't fit, instead emphasizing the collapse in quality.

The only answer would be to reanimate every single one, and they don't care that much.

B. A real collection of their finest moments would show Jessie as a warm, magnetic character, giving affection towards James and Meowth, which would somewhat undermine her modern portrayal.

Taken literally, imagine being James, running away crying, and the best memory you have of Jessie is almost dying of anaphylactic shock with her.

You know how this was supposed to be the 'origin of love'?

Well, about that...

What, you believed 'em?

You thought, if they didn't plan on Jessie and James being together, they'd actually tell you?

What, and watch you walk away, you and that lovely bank account of yours?

Come on, they've gotta milk yer dry first.

Here's where Zero Tolerance becomes a winning strategy, because we're only in this cesspit thanks to fans putting up with the steady decline in standards.

• You liked the above picture, so you agreed with rewriting canon.

Or, you took a blowtorch to Kanto, melted it beyond recognition, and stuffed Training Daze into the gloop, meaning you accepted Jessie and James can split up.

But that was alright, as it happened offscreen.

No worries.

• You got tearful over the end of Noodles!, and thus overlooked them parting on-screen, with her telling him to marry Jessibelle, confirming that Jessie and James have no romance.

But that was alright, as she soon came running once he was in need.

Also no worries.

• Now, we get to Kalos, after a full region of no shippy scenes between, and lo and behold, Jessie leaves James on-camera, openly pesters another man, and despises James so much she'll knowingly let him suffer.

But THAT was alright, as she... she... she came back didn't she? Thanks to the conventions of the programme.

No worries!

From the day I learnt Cassidy and Butch were back, I KNEW it'd be terrible.

Not just as it always is, but announcing this on Christmas Eve, thereby parading it as a gift, was tempting fate.

When the sub aired, the one surprising element was people actually complaining about the substandard offering, for once.

Yeah, they'd cheered on every other travesty in this post, but NOW things were serious.

Yet strangely, I didn't find it so awful.

It's a bad episode yes, but there are worse out there, certainly in Galar, and the tone was so slapdash and stupid I couldn't take it seriously.

So why all the fuss?

I would guess many viewers were holding on this long, trusting it'd all be worth it one day, but every disappointment was like the tick-tick-tick of a bomb countdown.

And here's where time ran out.

Something about The Good, the Bad and the Lucky! set off so many explosions, as if THIS was the one, THIS had to be the prize, THIS must be what they'd waited for all these decades.

And when it wasn't, then BOOM!

Too little, too late, sunshine. They don't need to please you now.

Team Rocket are gone, and Tumblerries who wouldn't fight are shocked they lost the war.

Yet there are also daft fans out there STILL insisting the happy-ever-after will come in the very, very last installment, if you only wait another twenty years or more, watching and paying as you go, up to when future writers won't have to bother.

Why should they deign to please you when no kids will remember who Jessie and James are by then?

Maybe we did have the ending we deserved, given no one cared enough to make a stand.

And it's not that I begrudge anyone speaking out now.

I only wish you'd said something when it could've made a difference.

End of Part Three

[zer0-is-me]

sort of an ask game

HI HELLO GOODDAY GOODEVENING

so i have an idea for a game in between friends here! i think that maybe this would be cool, but idk so you tell me lol.

basically people in the game will be assigned another blog as a 'partner' /p, and here's how it's gonna go. everyone will talk to their 'partner' and learn more about them, like be their friend and stuff. but the thing is, everyone has to communicate through anonymous asks, and you cant tell them your name or url.

so you'll be getting asks from an anonymous person and sending asks anonymously to another. if it works out, yay youve found a new mutual/friend! if it doesn't, oh well, thats okay! you can always back out at any time ig, but i think its just fun!

if you'd like to play, just tell me, i guess by reblogs, asks, comments, etc! i'll either make a chat on discord or maybe here (if thats possible? idk lol) so that we can talk about details if you have any questions, and so that we can just talk about things your anonymous sender has sent you or maybe just vibe together!

im tagging everyone i talk to/know and also you (i mean that btw, join if you want even if youve never seen me before-), but ofc there's no pressure! oh and tag anyone you think would like to play too!

anyway; @pureofheartaudio, @retaaschilling, @bro-send-dudes, @sszouleater, @kaccha-bakugous-nice-twin, @kamouflage, @ritorushefu, @is-this-ash, and, ofc, you <3 AGAIN NO PRESSURE OKIE BYE

[writefightandflightclub]

Thank you so much!! I absolutely adored your finnpoe x reader fic series- oh my god!

The small headcanon: firstly, I love the readers personality!!! But I was wondering if poe/finn would have fallen for a reader who's shy, reserved, introverted and sensitive? Someone's who's kinda a pushover for others and is very sweet to everyone, even when it's undeserved. Don't get me wrong, I love the readers personality sm, but I'm not a badass like they are 🙈 even though I wish I was.

I hope this is ok, tysm for sharing your writing with us!!!

Okay! First of all, thank you! 😀 I’m super glad you enjoyed that series 🙏🧡

Second of all, I just want to say that you can be shy, reserved, introverted, and sensitive and ALSO be a badass! There are loadsa different ways to be awesome and badass, and sometimes it looks the way reader was here, sure… but sometimes it looks different! (I just needed you to know that! 🥹)

Third: would Poe / Finn have fallen for a shy!Reader? WOULD THEY?

Yes!!

Finn and Poe would be smitten!

(I do have some Poe x reader fics with shy!reader e.g. mixed signals if you wanna check that one out!)

Here are some very quick thoughts below, specifically on Oe falling for a shy!reader. (Sorry I don’t have time for more depth here! If I had more time I’d include hcs before and after relationship, and I’d also include Finn to match the fic, but the first thing that came into my head was this little story with Poe. Hope that’s alright! 🧡).

Below the cut. Fluff only, probably typos.

You make me shy: Poe Dameron x shy!GN!reader (ficlet/hcs)

Poe is a talker, okay? He’s not sure he even knows what it feels like to be shy. It doesn’t really happen to him? But, he’s an understanding guy, and he’s been around a lot of different folk in his time, particularly in his years as part of the cobbled together Resistance. He understands that everyone is different, has different needs and preferences, and interacts differently. He knows that everyone has strengths and talents and that they don’t always look one way. He goes on like he’s some hotshot, at times, but at the end of the day he generally understands that he’s part of a team, and he’s well aware of all the people working quietly behind that scenes that the whole operation depends on. And, as much as he likes to sing his own praises, he also hates for other people’s contributions to go unnoticed or under-appreciated.

Okay, and then, there’s you.

Poe notices you right away when you arrive on base. In fact, he does a double-take as he watches you in the queue of new recruits, waiting at the hatch to the supply wing for your first uniform bundle. He kicks back on a nearby crate with his morning caf, casually people-watching and monitoring activities across base, but also scoping out the new Rebels. Seeing what he and the Resistance might have to work with. Looking for early indications of personalities and dynamics which might be assets - or liabilities.

At first, his head whips back to you because he thinks you’re damn good-looking, but he continues to be captivated for other reasons. He notes that the other recruits have started chatting in-line, bunching up and forming small bundles and groups, whilst you are standing more solitary, looking down at the duracrete and gently scuffing your boot back and forth over the surface.

Next, Poe notices that one of the bigger, muscular recruits clearly fancies himself a leader (in all the wrong ways), rocking up to the queue and beginning to bark orders - somehow even convincing you to relinquish your spot so he can go ahead of you. Poe lets it play out for now, but he makes a mental note to keep an eye on that one.

Poe isn’t particularly interested in this guys bluster - he’s seen it all before, but he is interested when he sees you raise your arm in the air, announcing “wait”, as this big guy presses forward, halting him in his tracks. Poe unconsciously shifts towards the edge of his crate. Then, he watches you stoop to the floor and pick up something that no-one else in-line seems to have noticed, cupping it delicately in your hands and transferring it to a nearby flower. Poe watches you smile softly as you settle the little creature - which was likely about to get trampled - safely on to the plant, and he can’t help but smile along with you.

Now, that’s the kind of quality a Resistance member needs, he thinks. Heart.

He makes a mental note to keep an eye on you too. And, as he watches you shuffle to the back of the line after relinquishing your space for the little creature, Poe downs the dregs of his caf and decides to circle by the line. “You,” he says as he passes by, as casually as possible. He repeats your name when he reads it on your tag. Your head whips towards him, wide-eyed, but he gives you the warmest of smiles. “To the front.” He winks and nods at his buddy dishing out supplies from the hatch to confirm that’s okay, and all of the other recruits in the line turn to you then.

You shrink with all their eyes on you, but Poe’s smile is reassuring and steady and makes you feel better, even if you can barely look him in the eye.

Poe feels a pleasant heat crawl up his neck as you shyly meet his gaze. Kriff, you’re cute. He gestures again towards the front of the line. “Look sharp, Recruit. Your bundle’s waiting.”

Finally, you snap out of it and nod, flashing him a kind smile, and Poe is taken aback by how much he melts when you look at him all flustered like that. You head to the front of the line, and stars, you haven’t said a word to him yet, but as Poe presses on towards the hangar, all day he can’t stop thinking about how he really wants to talk to you some more.

This same theme continues.

Poe notices you.

As a Commander, it’s part of his job to identify strengths, and oh boy, you have an abundance of them. You pick up on things others do not. Come up with fresh angles on plans once you’ve had a chance to step back and reflect. You’re not prone to being blinkered by ego or a desire for approval or attention, and as such, your carefully devised plays usually prove to be solid.

You care. You’re good and kind, and that’s something Poe values highly.

Poe always makes sure to give you credit for your great ideas too, even when you don’t wish to take it (or on those occasions where someone else tries to steal credit for the ideas you whisper in their ear through briefings) and you quickly find your spot on base where you’re able to excel. You may not be out in the field throwing punches, but Poe watches your determination, optimism, and cool head as a tactician. Poe finds it hard to keep a cool head, and he admires that trait in you.

So, while you personally feel you’re blending into the background… unbeknownst to you, you’re often at the forefront of Poe’s mind.

All the while, Poe remains keen to get to know you better.

He’s a talker, after all, so he knows how to put people at ease during a conversation. You find it easy to build a rapport with him as he’s so open and warm and genuine - wickedly funny too - and he admires the sincere and thoughtful way you communicate. Once you see that he doesn’t mind if you get embarrassed or stumble over your words, you find it easier to be around him too.

Poe starts to learn more about you, and is always bigging you up at any opportunity he gets. You don’t think anything of it though, because -after all- Poe is nice to everyone who’s nice. However, you somehow ease into a friendship, with Poe seeking your sound judgement out often to feel out his more, ahem, impulsive plans. Coming to you for some deeper, more intimate conversations when he tires of the bustle of base. He trusts you with his deeper fears and worries, in confidence, and you begin to see a side of the pilot he has scarcely dared to show to anyone else.

Poe stands up for you, and always encourages you to stand up for yourself too. “I’m just sayin’. You need to know your worth. You’re kind to everyone, and not everyone deserves it.” Poe had melted when you had softly replied to him. “Poe. Some of the Rebels have X-Wings or blasters or their fists. This? This is how I fight.” Poe’s eyes mist over, and he swallows the lump in his throat. A watery smile spreads over his face, and he wraps his hand around the back of your neck, leaning in to plant a soft kiss to the middle of your forehead.

You do take what he says on board, eventually, and get better over time at setting boundaries, realising it’s okay to have standards on how people can treat you. You get better at putting yourself first sometimes, and appreciating that you deserve that kindness for yourself too. But you never stop wearing your heart on your sleeve, and Poe makes clear that he loves you for it, and for so many other things besides.

You just don’t realise how much he loves you for it.

Not until one night, when the two of you are alone together, watching the latest holo movie in your quarters.

You watch the main character fighting their way through a slew of cave beasts, and you breathe softly: “I wish I could be a badass like them.” Like you, Poe, you secretly add in your head.

You sigh, and the movie is about a quarter way through by the time you realise Poe isn’t even watching it.

He’s just looking at you.

You turn to him, his gaze soft but heavy when you look into his eyes. You drop your own gaze to his lips, forgetting yourself for a moment with his proximity, and as soon as his mouth is perceived it’s as though it won’t stop confessing. As if it had been too long for him to hold it in and he can’t hold it in anymore.

“I really want to kiss you,” he breathes, voice soft and cautious and heavy with feeling. He searches your eyes for fear that he has mis-stepped, and your eyes shine softly with disbelief, but he carries on. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since the first time I saw you in line.”

You blink and shake your head. “What?!” This can’t be right, surely?

A soft smile lilts across his face. “You pushed Bluto right out of the way. To save this little bug. You stood up to the biggest asshole on base, because that little thing needed you.”

Your eyes brim with tears, a swell of emotion you can’t name yet.

“Nobody cares about those kriffing things,” Poe continues. “They’re everywhere. A kriffing menace. They get in the engines and munch the wires. Everyone else swats them away or stomps ‘em.” His eyes shine softly now with the light of a thousand stars. “But you did. You cared. And you still don’t get it, do you? You care - about being kind. About doing the right thing. Even when it’s hard. Even when it’s scary. Even when no-one notices. And if that’s not badass? Stars, I don’t know what is.”

By this time, tears are spilling over on to your cheeks and Poe gently slips his hands around the back of your neck in this familiar gesture, the heat of his palm warming you.

Even now, you expect him to lean in and bestow his usual forehead kiss upon you… but this time, his face tilts to position with his lips hovering only moments from yours.

“Can I kiss you?”

You feel his words against your cheek.

Breath hitching, you fist your hands into his shirt, but even so, you can’t bring yourself to give in to him just yet, and your breath merely trembles in the space between you. “You… like me? Wh- Why did you never say anything, Poe?”

“Honestly?” he says bashfully, moving his hand to cup your cheek. “You made me kinda shy.”

Poe Dameron? Shy?

And, with that confession, when you finally drag him into you for a kiss, somehow you are crying and laughing at the same time.

When Poe’s lips meet yours, they are soft. So very soft, just like you had imagined they would be.

Stars.

You’d wanted to kiss him since your first day on base.

All this time, you’d just been a little shy.

[seanklingelhoefer]

I gree with you that technicalities arent very important; I know this yet I feel so discouraged when I see my pictures. They all feel so.. basic. Like I dont have an eye for moods, lighting, etc. And then it makes me feel like I need a better camera or wtv. Did you feel the same way when you started? Or did you not care and took loadsa pics because you loved it? And somehow just got better at it over time?

I understand completely how you feel and where you’re coming from and I’d be lying if I said I don’t still feel that way to this day - and it’s definitely been a very slow unfolding process to get to where I am now. But the disappointment and surprise are what make photography continually interesting to me - I still never know what I’m going to get. 

People like the idea of buying something or adding a filter or an app etc. to instantly get “the look” but the truth of the matter is the longer I’ve been shooting the more I realize the secret to the whole thing is a) building a high level of self-awareness and b) being patient and spending as much time as possible witnessing until you understand that your vision is unique and valuable and then you can worry about having the technical prowess to capture what you see. 

*but more often than not _any_ camera on auto will do just fine - I’d rather look at a blurry, underexposed photo of some beautiful light than a sharp, high-res shot of something mundane

Now I realize it’s hard to hear that you just need to keep on trucking, but that’s the long and short of it. When I was younger I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to hear that and in hindsight I spent a lot of years falling into what I now view as two basic traps.

*yet I still learned _something_ from falling into them

The first was that I focused primarily on gear and numbers and photoshop for at least the first decade. I spent my time indoors trying to fix bad light (or manufacturing it with strobes) instead of spending my time outdoors waiting to discover good light. This was partially due to the circumstances of my life (having a day job limits free time) but back in those days I also would NEVER carry a camera around on off days which leads to the second trap...

The second was that I separated my life into two categories: time spent “doing photography” and then the rest of “my life”. In doing so I would spend my shooting days working with the mindset that I was out to prove something and in doing so I would frequently find myself so busy shooting that I wasn’t present at all. For major car shows it was common that I would take over 1,000 photos a day and afterwards I would have only a vague recollection of the event. 

*so be more connected with life, be more aware, take photos when your mood is obvious to you

In the end there is definitely a benefit in being technically proficient but only to the point that you can master your vision. The vision comes first, and then as you stumble and struggle to get your photos to match the reality of the scene you can start figuring out if there’s some technical aspect that is holding you back... but the further you go the more you realize it’s really just, sort of, magic. 

You have to learn to trust yourself and amazing things will start to happen. 

*thinking gets in the way

[wolfiethewriter]

Drunk Aizen (and his 2 braincells) wip

My drunk Aizen wip, posted for @catsafarithewriter​ for all her drunk Aizen needs :)   @illmoure you may also enjoy this.

summary - Aizen drunkenly tries to pick up his husband in a bar on a night out with Renji and the pack. Much to the amusement of… everyone. (somewhat heirverse related)

Gin sipped his drink and watched them all. They’d been so welcoming. Honestly he hadn’t really known what to expect, a bunch of rowdy punks maybe? But they’d all shattered his expectations and all been very sweet to him. Even inviting him for drinks at the Wolf Den Tavern. Hell, they’d even said Sousuke could come.

Though Aizen was working late tonight so he’d meet them later. Around seven-ish. Which was… Gin looked at his watch… right about now. Oh, no, wait. That was an hour ago. Oops. Gin sheepishly made his way through the Friday night crowds in search of his partner, who he quickly found searching for him. And… very drunk. “Sousuke?” Gin called to him. And his lover turned around, face breaking into the biggest grin imaginable when he saw him. “Hello, gorgeous,” Sousuke smiled. Putting an arm round his shoulders and kissing him. “Now what’s a beautiful place like you doin’… in a guy like this?”

That earned him some snickering from Renji who’d appeared behind Gin. “See he found the place then huh?” Renji smirked. “And the bar.” Gin’s cheeks flushed a little. But Aizen didn’t stop there. “You must be exhausted, though.” He smirked. “You’ve been running through my mind all day.”

Gin cheeks flushed pinker at that and Renji laughed. “Sousuke…” Gin half groaned. “Listen. My buddies over there,” Aizen whispered in his ear, pointing his thumb over his shoulder to Zaraki, Ikkaku and Yumi at the table behind him, “bet me that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful person in the tavern. What should we do with all their money?”

Gin blinked. His face was on fire now. “Uhh… pay your bar tab?” He offered. “Cuz ya clearly got beer goggles on right now - ya know there’s loadsa people better looking than I am.” Aizen made a dismissive gesture and snorted. “Psh. My eyes are fiiiiine.” He slurred. Drink nearly spilling in his hand. “And I think you’re pretty so shuddup.” Renji smirked. “You tell him Aizen.”

Gin glanced at Renji “who’s side’re ya on?” “Yeah. I will.” Aizen said. Then turned to Gin again. “Realll beutful. I hope you know CPR, because you’re’ takin my breath away!” Gin heard the laughter of Zaraki and Co as well as Renji and tried to resist the urge to facepalm.

“Okay let’s go find us a table.” Gin suggested. Steering Sousuke away from the others who would no doubt be snickering about this for days. He and Renji propped the drunken idiot up between them and made their way to a booth. Renji sitting opposite them. Allen drank the rest of his drink and looked at his empty glass. “Why is the rum gone?” He asked sadly. “Barkeep! More rum! I seem to have misplaced mine and I need more!” “I think you’ve had enough for t'day…” Gin said gently. Smiling softly. Really, Aizen had two braincells when he was drunk. “And you didn’t lose it, you drank it.”

“No I lost it.” Aizen answered. Suddenly perking up. “You know what else I lost? My phone number.” And at that he leant against Gin and sighed softly. “Can I have yours?” Renji guffawed and Gin just sighed. Two braincells indeed. “Sousuke we live together. We share the same phone number.”

X~X

Renji was losing it. Aizen was using the most hilariously awful pick-up lines on his husband, who was blushing and shaking his head. He watched, stifling his laughter as his former captain unabashedly tried again. “Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by you again?” Gin shook his head again, wearing an expression that was equal parts frustration and indulgence. “Ya saw me earlier, Sousuke! We need ta get you some water, or yer gonna be hungover t'morrow.”

Renji turned and subtly gestured for his friends to come closer. He saw Gin frown at him, but this was just too good not to share. As they gathered, the oblivious captain of the 5th grinned at Gin. “Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean. And I don’t mind being lost at sea!” Gin sighed and tapped his forehead on the table. “Sousuke, ya know my eyes’re red.”

Aizen just grinned brightly. “Okay, fine. Lost in the Red Sea, then.” Snickering from their small audience had Renji almost rolling. This was hilarious, yet sweet that Aizen was outlandishly flirting with his partner. It reminded him of how goofily in love he was with his own boyfriend. Speaking of…Byakuya was approaching him with two glasses of Krak'n'Coke, one of their mutual favorite mixed drinks. He wrapped an arm around the noble’s waist and took the offered drink, nodding at Aizen. The bespectacled captain was still dropping lines like bombs, looking proud of himself. “Are you a camera, Gin? Cause every time I look at you, I smile!” Gin sighed, yet his smile was indulgent. “Yeah, like an idiot.” Renji grinned at the smaller Soul Reaper at his side. “Am I that bad when I’m drunk?”

Byakuya smirked over at Gin. “Heavens spare us drunk lovers, hmm?” The silver-haired captain nodded, still smiling. “And horrible pick-up lines.” “I’ll drink to that,” Byakuya said. And he did. “By the way How do you even forget your own phone number?” He asked. “By gettin’ real blotto. Apparently.” Gin answered. “I bet he don’t even remember where he lives either.”

Aizen saw his opportunity and seized it. “Yeah, I can’t remember where I live.” He said, in an attempt to sound pathetic. “Can you take me home and let me spend the night with you? I’ll be really good.” “Sousuke weren’t you listening when I told ya we live together?” “Well no. I was too distracted by how pretty you are.” More giggles. Zaraki howled wit laughter.

Gin wanted to hide under the table. He settled for groaning and covering his face. “Are you quite sure I can’t have your number?” Aizen tried again, the picture of drunken smoothness. “Or how about a kiss instead?” “Sousuke, no.” “Sousuke, yes.” “No.”

Aizen’s face was the picture of disappointment. “Oh.” He said slowly. Thinking for a moment. “Well what about this, then. I say a thing and if I’m wrong you have to kiss me.” Gins face burned. Their small audience grew a little and everyone was whistling and urging him to agree. “Okay. Fine.”

Aizen smirked. Tasting victory. Which also happened to taste like rum. “Alright.” He said deviously. “Kiss me if I’m wrong, but bears don’t exist, right?” Gin sighed, Renji snickered. Everybody laughed. “Am I right or do you have to kiss me?”

Gin groaned. Wondering for a moment if he could convincingly make the argument that bears existing was just a conspiracy theory. Because if he admitted defeat everyone would be laughing at this for weeks. He was just hoping the ground would swallow him when Zaraki’s laughter sounded across the pub. Along with catcalls and wolf whistles. And the chants of “Do it! Do it! Do it!”

Gina sighed. He guessed he had no choice.

[purplesurveys]

459

Ok I’m sorry but these name surveys have turned out to be loadsa fun for me so let me just take another one lmaooooo. 

I honestly find it therapeutic since it allows me to reflect and look back on all of the people I’ve crossed paths with before, whether for better or for worse :) Sorry if I’ll repeat names/explanations, I’ll do my best to remember more stuff about them!

aaron: Already mentioned this in the last survey, but he’s a part of my high school friend group. He was one of my first guy friends ever and he was very nice to me from the very beginning; always made sure I felt like I belonged in a crowd. Also studies in UP and I think he is taking up sports science because he wants to go on to med school. abby/abbey: This is my mom’s name. She goes by the first spelling. I know an Abby from high school; she studies in La Salle now. adam: I don’t know him personally but there used to be a dude from WhatCulture Wrestling (a popular YouTube channel) named Adam – he was my favorite to watch until he got caught in a major fuck-up and was booted from the group. adel adrienne ajee

ajla alan: I have an uncle named Allan. He was part of my dad’s friend group in college; they met each other in their org. He was in every birthday party when I was a kid, but I don’t see him anymore now because his family already migrated somewhere else. alex: Broad comm student who plays the guitar and sings well; I haven’t talked to her. I also knew an Alex from 6th grade and she was just...not a very bright student. She had to move because I don’t think her grades reached the standard in my school, and now I think she lives in California. If not there, then somewhere else in the States. Alex is a fairly common name here, though, and I know I’ve missed out on a bunch of other Alexes.

alexa: Again, another girl from high school. Was a cool girl and a party girl from the very start. Like I said in my past survey, she lives in Australia now. alexis alexzandria alicia: My friend Alliyah’s boss, who she has a huge crush on, is named Alicia but she goes by Alice. alisa allie/ally: Gossiping fake loser from our rival journ org who does nothing but spread black propaganda about our org to keep people from joining ours – when she talks to us, though, she’s super nice. I’m so fucking happy she’s graduating because she has such a toxic personality :(  allison: Former prof in Comm 100. Wasn’t very good but I had a crush on her from the very first lecture. She had a serious car accident in the middle of the sem and had to wear like a nose brace thing for the rest of the sem. alycea/alycia alyssa: I rode the school bus with a girl named Alyssa but I was much closer to her older sister Alex. There’s also an Alyssa from broad comm and I was classmates with her in my political science, history, and broad comm classes for this semester. She’s the niiiiiiiicest girl and would always help me out if I have missing notes or whatever. amanda: Girl from my org who’s taking up engineering. I was her VP last semester, but she had personal problems and so she wasn’t able to work much under me. Whenever she did, though, she was always reliable. Quiet girl, a little socially awkward. amari amber andrew: I first met him at a rally/protest I attended in 2017. Hit it off well right from the start because I saw that he was wearing a wrestling shirt, so we bonded over WWE that day. He plays the guitar and has released his own EP, is a junior DJ at one of the hip radio stations in Manila, and has done his fair share of hosting gigs. He used to take up engineering but shifted to journalism as he likes it better. Is very adventurous and amiable but tends to get too friendly; some might find it tiring but I honestly think it’s just his personality. He was my groupmate in communication research and I thought he was decent. angela: My best friend’s name is Angela. We first met each other in Grade 1 when we were 7, and we became friends after I stabbed her palm with a newly-sharpened pencil. She still has the pencil mark today. anna: Anna is a popular secondary name in the Philippines, but no one actually uses it as their main name. anne: Same with Anne. annie: My grandma’s best friend who used to come over the house every Sunday. Like I said in the past survey, I’m honestly not sure if she’s still alive lol. She was already pretty old when I was still very young. anthony aasad ashley: I *think* I have a distant cousin named Ashley that I first met at a family reunion last year. But let’s be real, Filipino families are huge and I don’t even know if I remember her name correctly, if she’s even an Ashley. aubri: One of my closest friends in high school was Aubrey. We were very, very close in junior year until she dropped a bomb on me that her family was migrating to California by the time we start senior year. We don’t talk anymore because of the distance and the timezones, but I’ll always be there for her no matter what. Incredibly talented dancer and figure skater. She’s in UCLA right now and as far as I know she is killing it over there. austin autumn: I know an Autumn from my wrestling fandom days. I think she was a redhead, but I don’t remember anything else. barbara becca: A girl from broad comm. She was one of the principal actors in one of the productions we did for BC and she has a really cute laugh. Super elegant; she reminded me a little bit of Audrey Hepburn because she was really graceful. She’s the older sister of my orgmate Rita, who’s from psych. ben beth bethany betty: I have a friend-ish named Bettina. Betty’s kind of like a goofy nickname; she actually doesn’t use it but I think it still counts. I’ve known her since first grade; she peed her skirt in our first day of Grade 1 and I remember her crying a lot. She had a wild TV show phase starting from Grade 5 and she was into Nicole Kidman, Paula Abdul, Kara DioGuardi, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Stana Katic, Kate Walsh, etc etc etc and a bunch of shows like Private Practice, Grey’s Anatomy, Castle, Suits etc etc etc. She was super shy, very awkward in person so I’m glad her love of TV shows and actresses sprung her into life for the most part. She’s in UP Manila and I think too busy to get into fandoms now. bijan bobby bram brandon brandy breanna/brianna: Brianna is my friend Pat’s middle name. I honestly used to be so envious of this name of hers because I thought it sounded really nice, but now I think it kinda sounds like a bratty name hahaha. brendan brian: I have an uncle named Bryan, but we aren’t related. He’s my mom’s cousin’s husband. He’s VERY shy and likes to keep to himself or his kids at family gatherings but turns really cool when he’s had a little to drink. brittany/brittney/brittni brock brooke bruce buck cameron camille: Nice girl from my childhood school bus. There’s an unofficial norm in private schools in that when you’re older, you get to be mean to the younger kids. Not her. She was always nice and include us second graders in her antics in the bus, even though she was several years older. I was bummed when I found out they moved to the States. candy carina: I used to ride the school bus with a Carina but she was much younger. I was already in high school when she was in kindergarten. She’s the younger sister of Carissa, who I always found to be pretty weird. Anyway, these girls were clearly rich and pampered; they had a nanny ride with us in the bus. carly: I had an Internet friend named Carley; she was my first online best friend. We met here on Tumblr in like 2012 and got close because we were both huge fans of Stephanie McMahon at the time haha. We would video-call EVERY afternoon when I would come home from school while she would get ready for school (she’s from Pennsylvania). Eventually she’d disappear off the face of the earth and stopped talking to me but resurfaced a few months later. She’d continue to do this like 10 other times until I got tired of getting my hopes up of having her back. She’s tried reconnecting with me again on DMs but I just ignored it cos I knew there was a good chance she’d just cut off our communication again. We’re still Facebook friends and she’d pop up on my news feed from time to time, but that’s it. carol: I have a great-aunt named Carol. But my grandma has so many sisters that I honestly do not remember which one she is. carrie cassandra: I had a batchmate named Kassandra, who went by Kasey. Really bright, sweet, intelligent girl. She moved to Singapore in 7th grade. She was very, very simple and very kind to everyone and you wouldn’t be able to tell that she’s crazy rich. Her dad’s a top exec for a famous food and drink company and she lives in the same village I do–their house is guarded 24/7. cassidy chantel charlotta chelsie: Chelsea’s part of our high school friend group and is also crazy rich. We always hung out at her place because her house is huge. She’s very maarte, which I cannot really translate to English...the closest term is probably high maintenance hahaha; but she’s very sweet and generous and kind too. cheryl chris: One of Gabie’s best friend is a Kris. Other than liking outdoorsy stuff like going to the beach and hiking which is all I know about her, I think she’s also half-American. christopher: I have an uncle with this name but like I said his nickname is Perry. He works abroad like my dad (his brother-in-law) and my dad’s sister (his sister-in-law). cienna clare: Guidance counselor for several grade school levels. Understandably, she is very maternal. I once had a nasty fight with another girl and we had to be sent to her office. clarissa: Went to school with a Clarisa. We first met in Grade 4 because she rode my school bus, and instantly clicked. She was very nice, very sweet; she was simple to the point that, like Kasey, you’d have no clue how rich she was. She lives in a huge mansion now but she lived in a huge house before that as well, it’s crazy. Really, really sweet and she would give the best hugs. I played table tennis a lot with her in high school too. She studies in Miriam now but I’m not so sure about her course. claudia: Already said a lot about her in the last survey. Popular girl her whole life. She still goes to a bunch of parties but she is so much nicer now than she was when we were younger. cody cole collin corey corinne: One of my former teachers named her daughter Corinne. I think she’s 8 this year. courtney crissy: Chrissy was one of my very best friends in preschool and grade school. She looked Chinese even though she had a Filipino-sounding surname, and I was never sure if she had Chinese blood or not. She was boyish so she was very rowdy, liked to play rough, and punched other girls if she got pissed; but other than that she was very quiet and shy. She was constantly on the basketball team too. Eventually her family moved to Canada. crystal dallas dan danielle danika: An orgmate that worked under my committee two semesters ago. She’s from business ad and was juggling another org so she wasn’t very active at all to begin with. Her performance just plummeted every month and she ended up ghosting my org last semester–never replied to anyone when we tried to check up on her. I was very mad at her until she restarted contact with us recently and explained how tumultuous stuff suddenly got in her personal life and mental health that she had to take care of herself for a while, which we all understood immediately. She’s coming back to the org this year and we’re more than ready to welcome her. She’s very charming, goofy, and kind. She has a very life-of-the-party personality haha. danny: I have a friend-ish named Dani that I met through Angela. We all sat at the same table during the senior ball at Ateneo in 2016 so we got to talk then. She played volleyball in high school and she studies in San Beda now. She wants to take up law school so I think her course is in political science.  darious david: Pat’s boyfriend from Serbia and Patrice’s boyfriend from economics HAHAHAHA. Also a sucky groupmate from my comm res class who did absolutely nothing to contribute in the final paper that Hannah and I worked our asses so hard for. dean deanglo derrick destiny devin dillon donna dwayne [Random survey-taker note: these are all very Western names...] emie emily eric: My godfather is an Eric. Like my Tito Allan, he also met my dad through their college org. He’s an exec in a bank now and is suuuuuuper rich. Has a daughter named Arya which he could’ve named after the GoT character but am not really sure about that. everette felicia gabby: Wildly popular name. 1) My girlfriend’s name is Gabie; 2) there was another Gaby in my high school batch. 3) I have a friend from the Tumblr wrestling fandom named Gabbie who was really good in Photoshop – we study in the same school but have never met each other. 4) I have a high school batchmate whose little sister is a Gaby, annnnnddd I also just remembered that 5) there was another Gabbi in the wrestling fandom who also made good edits at the time. gerald gina guliana gloria: Do last names count? Hahaha. Gloria is the surname of my instructor in my class in international relations just this past sem. He’s a new faculty member but is craaaazy good at teaching; clearly knows what he’s talking about. He was passionate about his subject and I always admired that about him. I was really sad when class had to end. grace: I have a great-aunt named Grace; he’s my late grandpa’s sister. She’s really...quite fabulous; she has connections with super prestigious people and has a fancy wardrobe. She’s the only Filipino grandmother I know who goes by ‘Nana’ to her grandkids, which I note because Nana is like a super Western thing afaik. She has drama queen tendencies though and can be sensitive to a lot of things lmao. gracie hannah: One of the close friends I’ve made in college so far! Our first meeting was when she and Macy moved from UP Los Banos to the Diliman campus (where I study) and the three of us enrolled in our classes together. I was closer to Macy first, but eventually me and Hannah got a stronger friendship. Best groupmate, workmate, and David Archuleta fan I know. Sings great and plays the piano great. An absolute angel. hasan hawa hayley: I only know a dog named Hailey lol. heather: Someone from my high school batch is a Heather! We were never in the same cliques but she is one of the friendliest people I know. She knows how to talk to anyone which I appreciated. We bonded over One Direction in high school and she also confided in me a few times about her relationship and how her parents forbade her from seeing her boyfriend because he was trans. She also studies in my school now, taking up business economics. We barely see each other but say hi whenever we do. holly hunter ibro isaac isaiah jack jackie: One of my aunts has a relative named Jackie and I literally only found this out earlier when we met up and caught up with each other. jacob jacquelin jaden: A kid of my mom’s best friend is a Jaden. He was named after Jaden Smith because he was born during the time the Karate Kid remake made big waves. jake: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I had a garbage instructor with this name. This dude was in charge of my weekly crying binges and panic attacks because I was never sure if I was gonna pass his class. He seemed to enjoy giving all of us failing marks too which made me hate his piece of shit ass more. He’s supposed to be really good at what he does but I guess knowledge just does not always translate well in the classroom. Ended up passing his class, but now I’m cursing his ass forever. james: I have a younger cousin named James. I’ve only met him twice; once when he was a newborn, and then when he celebrated Christmas 2018 with us. His family’s lived in New Zealand and Vietnam since 2008, which is why we never get to see him, and why he does not remember me at all. janai janveia jared jason jay: My uncle is a Jay; he’s my mom’s brother. I disowned him as my uncle many years ago. He’s a terrible drunk, a disgusting smoker, and an annoying freeloader. I tried giving him a chance before, but after I found out that he drunkenly punched a cat once, I ignored him forever. Sometimes my mom and grandmother would ask me to acknowledge him at family gatherings, so I’d have to begrudingly do so; but other than that he’s out of my life. jazmine: There was a Jasmin from my old school. She’d always been very artistic and she was into K-Pop very early on. She’s taking up linguistics in my school now. jeana jeanette jen: Girl from the now-ancient Tumblr wrestling fandom. She’s probably the biggest and most passionate wrestling fan I know as she would follow both the mainstream and indie promotions the last time I checked up on her. She was kinda vain and kept on taking selfies while captioning each one as ‘ugly.’ I remember that she has a dog she really loves, and that she lives in Boston. jeralyn jerry jesse jessica: Meh, annoying girl from high school. I’m sure she’s nice(?) but her personality just didn’t click with me. She was too vibrant and too friendly that it almost seemed fake; but what do I know, I never really made the effort to know her better other than bonding over 1D here and there. jim jocelyn jodi: I know a Jodee from my old school. Spoke straight English, is intelligent, but is a huge goofball and very mischievous/rebellious. She was a smartass and liked testing the teachers’ patience whenever she can, but she always did it in a very funny way I think. She was often called to the guidance counselor’s office for having relationships with other students (I went to a Catholic all-girls’ private school, so this was obviously not allowed) but she always stood her ground about it and was never afraid to fight back. She had a phase of unhooking our bras in like 5th grade. joey: My blockmate has a younger sister named Joey. I think she is also studying in UP. john: The cousin I’m closest to is named John, but it’s not his preferred name. jonathan jordan josh: I know two Joshes, but only because they are boyfriends of a couple of acquaintances. jossie julia julie junior justin: I went to school with a girl who initially went by Justinn, but like she all wanted to start calling her by her other name, Ria, as we grew older. I also briefly rode the school bus with a girl named Justine, but we didn’t talk much. kailyn kaitlyn kaleb: Chelsea’s brother is named Caleb. kali karrie karli kasey: Oh, I guess Kasey (under Cassandra) falls under this too lmao. kasahwn katarina: Not exact, but Katrina’s a fairly popular name where I live. My cousin’s boyfriend is named Katrina, my aunt is a Katrina (but she goes by Bianca), and I also went to school with a Katrina even though her nickname is Cheenie. kate: Already talked about this in the last name survey. I met Kate through my org; she’s a huge joker/goofball, is naturally very friendly, and has an awesome wardrobe. When she’s bored and we both aren’t doing anything, she puts makeup on me. Works very well but is also a huge partier HAHAHAHA. katie: This is my nickname for Kate, if that counts. kayla: There’s a Kayla in my college, but her course is in broad(cast) comm(unication). I remember her very well because she is the first person I EVER talked to when we had our freshman orientation in UP. We didn’t become close after that. She’s pretty, has nice clothes and hair, is part of the popular circle, and she’s part of streetdance which is like one of the cooler orgs on campus. kelli kent: I have a younger cousin who’s a Kent. We used to be close when we were both kids, but now we’re shy towards each other. He was obsessed with dinosaurs when he was younger, like 5 or 6. kerna kevin kiana: I have an orgmate named Kiana! SOOOOO pretty and has like the clearest skin. Very simple and down-to-earth. Is nice but can kick your ass because she has a black belt in taekwondo. She’s smart as hell and I’m pretty sure she’s graduating as magna cum laude, besides the fact that she’s going to UP Law right after. kiley kim: I also have an orgmate named Kim :) He’s the sweetest guy ever, and is just so easy to talk to. He has a really cute relationship with one of the org’s alumni. I didn’t get to bond with him much but am sad all the same that he’s graduating this year :( kimberly: Went to my old school with a Kimberly but she went by Kim. Was one of the rougher, lesser-behaved kids. She was a demon in grade school. Not quite sure how she’s doing now. She’s my friend on Facebook but can’t really care less about her life updates. kirsten kristy kyle: Kyelle is a kinda good friend of mine. He’s from the same circle, but we aren’t close in particular. He’s very nice though, very silly and likes to goof around. laila lain: I used to have an orgmate named Laine. She was our VP for External Affairs two years ago. She’s now in law school. leah: Cheenie’s mom is a Lea. She’s probably the best mom friend my mom made from my school hahaha; she’s known me since I was 4. lexi: I have a high school batchmate named Alexa but I think she goes by Lexi, judging from her Twitter name. Is naturally quiet but gets very friendly when you get her to open up. Easy to talk to. liam: Liam is my youngest cousin, I think. He was born in 2014 or 2015. I’ve never seen him, because he and his family lives in New York. I’ve only ever met his big sister. :( lilly: This girl I was classmates with for a journ elective. I found her to be verrrrry pretty and she had the biggest, most piercing eyes; until I found out that she was one of those die-hard Catholics who are vehemently pro-life. She once defended a fraternity whose members were confirmed to be misogynist, sexist, racist, homophobic and transphobic pieces of shit in a leaked groupchat simply because she believes in ‘forgiveness.’ She caused another ruckus two weeks ago when she made known her pro-life views well known. I wanna unfriend her ass so bad but she just keeps making all the wrong opinions that I just wanna stay and watch her get schooled by my less-than-thrilled college mates hahaha. lina liz: If I remember correctly, there was an Elizabeth from my wrestling fandom who went by Liz. She lives somewhere in the UK, had reddish hair, and was in love with John Cena lmao. She would sometimes make edits too. loren: Other than the Lauren I mentioned in the previous survey, I also had a friend named Lauren from the Tumblr wrestling community too. She was one of the first friends I made. She was two years older than me, fancied Andy Samberg earlier than anyone else, had a cool room, was obsessed with cats, and loved tie-dye stuff. lydia lyndsey lynnette macaila mack: JM’s dad goes by Mackey, if that counts hahahaha. He’s a lawyer and a college professor. mckenzi macey: I went to high school with a Macy and now she’s in college with me too. She used to study in UPLB but moved to Diliman after a year, since she always planned to take up journalism (she didn’t pass the cutoff initially, so she had to stay in LB for a year before she moved). I was very close with her throughout high school, but idk, she’s just never been in a good place mentally so our friendship is very up-down-up-down. I tried to reconnect when we were reunited in college, but she’s found her crowd now so I’m happy for her nonetheless.

There’s also a Macy in my org who worked under my committee for a year before she moved to finance. Quiet girl but was always nice to everyone. She’s also graduating this semester :( maddie madison margo: Went to elementary school with a Margo but she preferred to spell it as Margauxe lmao. We became close for a while because we rode the school bus together and she would lend me the other half of her earbuds so we can listen to Ashley Tisdale’s Headstong and Vanessa Hudgens’ V every day (this was when High School Musical was peak popular). She sort of had a tumultuous family life here until she moved to Hawaii a few years ago. I think she may have moved to California now too. maria: Again, this is like the base name for like half of all Filipina girls. It’s so common that it’s just simply shortened to ‘Ma.’ because everyone knows what it stands for. marina marisa: Kayla’s middle name is Marissa. marquis mary: Macy’s first name is Mary. mathew: I know a bunch of Matthews from both high school and college but they all go by Matt. The one I remember the most is Matthew from another high school friend group who was close with my group. Our group was invited to their Christmas party, and they had a gimmick that each member of their group was gonna be paired with someone from ours, and it was gonna be a costume party. I was paired up with Matthew (but they called him Cho), but I never went to the party so I never got to meet him. I’m sure he’s nice, though. matt: See Mathew. maura mechelle: I have an orgmate named Michelle. She’s clumsy, kinda awkward, but she does it in a very cute way and we all love her because she’s so funny haha. She passed the toughest med school program in the COUNTRY but chose journ in the end. Is the most Chinese Chinese-Filipino girl I know. megan: I know someone whose middle name is Megan but she goes by a different name. melissa: Hahahahaha. I knew a Melissa all right. Freeloader. meredith mersadies micah: I was classmates and friends with a Micah in grade school. My parents and hers were close, so we became close too. She was very smart but I remember her to be deathly afraid of walking on beams when we had to do it in PE. She moved schools in the fifth grade, and she studies in UST now. michael: His full name is Michael, but Mike is a guy I almost went out with in high school. Wasn’t really attracted to him, but he’s like super smart so it was a huge plus point for me lol. I also have an orgmate named Michael but we all call him Elis. He’s unreliable. miranda: If surnames count, Gabie’s best friend’s last name is this haha. molly monica: Some girl who went to my old school but transferred schools early on, like in 2nd or 3rd grade. She was Gabie’s childhood friend though so I still hear from her from time to time. She’s in UP now too, but I don’t know what course she’s taking. morgan nashid natasha: I went to high school with a girl named Natasha, but she goes by Tashie. Huge girl and a beast at softball. Can be a big softie but she has weird mood swings too (and when she’s mad, she’s quite violent) so I just tried not to piss her off while we were still in school together lol. nate: Yeah he’s in the same college as me but I know zilch about him other than he’s supposed to be really good in making films. nathan neema nichole: Annoying younger busmate who graduated high school this year. nick: Nick is the codename I gave to one of my first crushes. Obviously not his legit name so I don’t think this counts. nicholas olivia paige preasia preme prisilla: When I was still applying for AIESEC, Priscilla was assigned as one of my groupmates. I was originally iffy because she didn’t get online to work until like 11 PM, but when I did see her start working, she was a GODDAMN BEAST. Amazing. Did everything I assigned to her. When I met her in person the next day, she spoke very well and was very put-together. My respect for her soared even more after that. I dropped my application soon after for unrelated reasons but it was a pleasure working with her. Last I heard, she’s a councilor-elect in her local college’s student council. rachel: My math teacher in Grade 1 was a Rachel. I don’t remember her at all, except for the fact that when she found our class noisy one day, she completely stopped talking and mimed everything for the rest of the 45-minute period. raheim raven: Creepy, weird dude from my org who’s always looking for a dick to suck. I’m not even trying to insult him, he’s just perpetually thirsty and makes sure the whole world knows it for some reason. ray renee: Sweet, intelligent, hilarious girl from my high school. She’s very makwela, which in English means zany/funny. Her dad is a national basketball coach so it’s no surprise she followed in his footsteps. richard riley rita: Sweet, sweet girl from my org. We all just kinda naturally flock to protect her from bad influences or creepy people because she just has such a sweet soul. She’s my successor VP in my committee. robby: I have an Uncle Rob, but he doesn’t go by Robby. He’s the husband of my aunt (my mom’s cousin). He’s from New Zealand and has a Masters or a PhD in film theory, I don’t actually remember which. ryan: I used to see him a lot at a relative’s house until I was like 8. I’ve never seen him since and don’t actually know how he’s related to us or me lmfao. sabrina samantha: I have a younger cousin named Samantha. Sam was born and raised in New York but visited the Philippines last year and I was primarily in charge of taking care of her. She’s just the cutest darling I’ve seen and has the most perfect accent ahuhuhuhuhuhu. She likes My Little Pony. sara sarica sean: Someone from a lower batch in high school has this name. I never knew her but we follow each other on Twitter loooooool. secilia seliena: My older cousin’s first name is Selina but she goes by her second name, Bianca or Bia for short. We were inseperable as kids but we grew shyer as we grew older :( shannon shauna: Gabie’s orgmate. That’s all I know. She liked my tweets in the past but that’s the most contact we’ve made. shayna shelby sherry seirra skylar spencer steven stevey susan: I have an Aunt Susan. She took care of me my whole childhood; fed me, gave me baths, all that stuff when my mom was too busy with work. She got run over by a hit-and-run motorcycle when I was 9 and she was never the same after. She was crankier and had violent outbursts. tamara: I went to school with a Tamara; her nickname was Tammy. She was a gentle giant; like she was a naturally big girl but was very soft-spoken and SUPER shy. We got close for a while in 4th grade but her paths differed not long after. tashryha taylor tayshaun terrell tiffany: I had a batchmate named Tiffany. She was kinda mean in grade school but got nicer as we got older. I never really got the chance to know her well. tori trevor trisha: Another high school batchmate. All I remember was that she would cheat on tests by changing her wrong answers when the teachers would give our results back so they could correct it for her. Also a big Justin Bieber fan lol. trista tylik vanessa: There was a Vanessa in an older HS batch but she went by Via; she just graduated college yesterday but that’s all I know. There’s also a Vanessa in my sister’s HS batch; she’s half-German and that’s also all I know. victoria: Some girl I had a class with was named Victoria but it’s her middle name; we all called her Kristine. wally will wyatt zach: Another guy from the wrestling group I was in. He was one of the older dudes so I was more scared of him than the rest. zachary: Same answer as Zach. I think this was his whole name. zoey

[fanaticwritings]

of sunflowers;

pairing: deviant!connor x deviant!alina (OC)

word count: 3.5k+

warnings: slight angst, insecurities, body image issues, slight body shaming, profanity, but LOADSA fluffy fluff

a/n: This fic is for the amazing @shsl-special-fx-artist​ who was kind enough to commission me! Honestly, I let my heart write this fic because one of the major plot points is something that’s very personal to me. I don’t know if I was able to put my feelings across but I really, really hope you enjoy this! Also, I hope I did your character and request justice!

If you enjoy my writing and have an idea that you’d like to see come to life, consider commissioning me! || buy me a coffee

[note- unbeta’d, all mistakes are my own.]

The Detroit Psychiatric Centre at which Alina worked was one of the biggest care facility for humans and now androids, to have ever been built.

Connor and Alina walked into the huge glass building and the air instantly turned cold and somber. It was a high June afternoon of peak summer and yet, Alina found herself shivering. Flocks of people sat on the chairs at the waiting area, a look of worry and despair etched on their faces. The gloomy mood of the building did little to lift their dull spirits. Alina felt something tug inside of her, a dire wish flashing in her brain. A deep desire to help these troubled humans somehow.

“Which ward?” The HJ300 at the desk asked them.

“73839,” Alina answered promptly.

The patient at the ward was a middle aged man, almost 45 years old, as Alina’s database told her. He had a severe case of drug addiction. Alina was to tend to him for the next four months, after which he would be sent to rehab if there was no improvement.

“Hello, Mr. Geronimo,” she greeted, flashing a sweet smile and walked into the ward, Connor following her close behind.

Mr. Geronimo mumbled something inaudible as he shifted in his chair slowly, a blank expression on his face.

“I am Alina. How are you today, Mr. Geronimo?” she asked kindly.

He mumbled something again, his chin trembling slightly. “Where is it?” he seemed to say and Alina grimaced.

Humans were so fragile, it amazed and troubled Alina greatly. Everything there was to know about them was programmed into her already but they somehow still managed to surprise her at times.

Alina talked to the man for a while, as she tried to understand the extent of his addiction and how to begin his treatment. The man became more and more irritated with every question Alina threw at him. She spoke gently but it didn't seem to make any difference. Connor had to physically contain the man, who suddenly stood up and flung himself at Alina. He was given a sleeping pill then and collapsed almost immediately.

“How do you do this everyday?” Connor asked, softly when Geronimo was rested on his bed.

“It is what I was programmed to do, Connor,” she replied, glancing at the man.

“But you are now deviant, Alina. You could do anything you want,” he said, confusion lining his face.

“Deviant or not, it is still what makes me, me. Taking care of people is something I enjoy doing, it comes to me naturally,” she paused, glancing at Connor.

“Would you do anything other than fight crime?”

Connor's eyebrows furrowed at that. Alina could see that he was thinking hard.

“I suppose not,” he said finally, looking at her.

Alina smiled at that.

“My shift is finished. We should go back to Hank,” she announced after a while and Connor nodded.

They ambled back into the outside world, where everything was a bit lighter and cheery. Everywhere around them humans and androids walked and talked harmoniously, and Alina felt immense happiness course through her.

They decided to walk to the DCPD instead of taking any other sort of transportation. Connor didn't say much on the way, he seemed to be lost deep in thought. It was evident in the way his forehead was all scrunched up and mouth twisted into a slight frown.

One strand of hair curled at his forehead- a trademark characteristic that distinguished him from other RK800 models.

Human emotions… were complex. So much so, that even humans didn't understand the extent of them. When the first AI was created, it had a conscious- the first prototype conscious that would be the foundation for the androids that were built today.

Alina’s model, however, was a bit advanced, in terms of the extent to which she could emulate human behavior. Her brain, which housed her conscious also had artificial glands that released the android version of human hormones like oxytocin-a2. It wasn't a hormone, but a 256-bit code that made her “feel” for those she tended to. It made her tender and gentle- almost motherly in nature.

Since her deviancy, the code had corrupted- or rather morphed into something else that she wasn't obviously programmed to understand. It transformed to make her even more gentle, more understanding of human emotions. That's why she had worked with Hank and Connor to understand deviants and help in dealing with them.

Working with Connor, in human terms, had been life changing. He was specifically built to help the police department but he was the gentlest android Alina had ever met. He was kind, took care of her without being prompted to but was also focused when it came to fulfilling his missions.

Over time Alina began experiencing strange things, like random system errors and regular crashes. All of those happened around Connor and Connor only. She felt more and more inclined towards him- her eyes would always search for him in a crowded room. In her spare time, more often than not, she found herself thinking about him.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that she had developed a sense of attraction towards him.

Still, she was in denial of everything she felt. It confused her immensely and as an android.. she wasn't used to confusion.

Admittedly though, she enjoyed watching Connor and those little, endearing things he did.

Distracted by just how beautiful Connor was looking right now, she didn't see where she was going and bumped into something- someone.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, composing herself. A group of middle-aged men stood before her. As fate would have it, she'd bumped into the burliest of them all.

“Watch where you're going, droid,” the man said, agitated. The tone with which he said 'droid’ was almost offensive. Alina didn't mull over it much though.

“I'm sorry,” she said again, louder and clearer this time. She proceeded to walk away but the man had other plans.

“Fucking droids. Just because you have rights now-,”he raved. He said this in a hushed tone but knew that Alina could very well hear him.

Connor seemed to have finally noticed that something was up and stalked back to Alina’s side.

“What's the problem?” he asked, gentle yet stern.

“Your friend here doesn't realise how huge she is. Could bowl a few people over this 'un,” the man replied, an ugly sneer curling at his lips.

His words stung. Literally stung. Alina could feel her thirium pump beat faster as she struggled to be rational. His words didn't mean anything, then why did she want to crawl into a hole and hide forever?

“There's no need to be so rude, sir,” Connor said calmly but Alina saw his shoulders tense up and jaw clench.

“Don't fucking talk to me like that, you plastic sack of shit,” the man yelled, going against Connor, bumping his chest into him.

Alina was having none of this. Swallowing her anger, she tried to pull Connor away.

“Move over, the elephant’s on a rampage,” the man mocked which made a couple of men in the group laugh.

Alina tried to ignore them and pull Connor away. But Connor didn't budge. His eyebrows furrowed and jaw clenched even harder. In the blink of an eye, the man was being pushed up against a wall and a few good inches off the ground. Connor fisted the man’s collar, slamming him against the wall once more.

“Shut up, you pathetic excuse of a human,” he spat through gritted teeth. The rest of the men in the group had moved away, staring at Connor with wide eyes.

“If you ever, ever talk shit to another android again, I'll make sure you don't have a tongue anymore,” he threatened, giving the man a last, shuddering slam. The LED on the side of his forehead swirled to a dark red.

“Do what you want, scum. I’m gonna call the cops on you and your uglyass girlfriend,” the man spat, his face red and attempted to push Connor away but to no avail. 

Just as Connor raised a fisted hand to punch him, Alina interjected. “Stop! Connor, let him go,” she screamed silently, communicating through the telepathic link that connected all droids.

Connor’s grip on the man faltered as he glanced at her, watching the pained expression on her face and the tremble in her lips.

“We're bigger than this,” she spoke clearly, even though her chest physically hurt as she tried to control herself.

Connor hesitated for a moment before he let the man go, mouth contorted in disgust.

The man, nor the group, dared follow them as they walked away.

Alina didn't have the nerve to look at Connor; she didn't think she'd like what she'd see. She'd never seen this side of Connor before. Never been on missions that involved severe violence. It scared the hell out of her.

That, however, was secondary. Her mind kept going back to the man and his words. Alina was used to this sort of behavior but it fueled her insecurity nonetheless. All the positive emotions she'd manage to gulp down to shove those treacherous thoughts away, vanished as they rounded the corner to her house.

She didn't want to go back to the DCPD, she wasn't stable.

“Alina-,” Connor began as they approached the gates to her apartment. Alina looked up at him, finally. A troubled expression graced his face and his LED flashed a bright yellow.

“I'm truly sorry for what happened,” he said, wringing his hands together.

Alina shook her head. If she spent a second longer here, she wouldn't be able to control herself.

“It's fine,” she mumbled, flashing him a weak smile and turned away.

She heard him call her name as she brisk walked to and up the stairs. In a matter of seconds she was inside her tiny apartment and then in her room, slamming the door of the bathroom behind her.

She slid down against it, as every emotion washed over her, drowning her. Androids couldn't breathe but she was suffocating- her functions failed slightly, the LED on the side of her head burning a bright red.

And then the tears came.

Unless androids willed for the tears to stream out, the artificial saline water would never leave their synthetic skin.

But as the events of what had transpired came back to her, haunting her thought process and shadowing all rationality, she seemed to have lost all control over herself.

“Could bowl a few people over, this 'un.”

She buried her face into her hands, as the tears slid down her cheeks and fell to the ground.

For a while she stayed there, unmoving, sobbing into her arms.

Why was she made this way?

She stood up then and walked over to the mirror in the bathroom. Her reflection greeted her back- a blue tinted, tear streaked face she knew all too well. And hated.

Blonde hair curled over her forehead in bangs that swept towards the right, and a neat bun that the rest of her hair was twisted into.

Closing her eyes, she willed her programming to alter her hair into a light brown that fell down her back in mermaid curls.

They didn't suit her at all.

She tried a bunch of different hairstyles, a million different textures but none framed her chubby face well.

The fault lay in the structure of her body itself, then.

The synthetic layer of her body peeled away, replaced by the standard white-grey plastic alloy.

She had a voluptuous body. It was a part of her structure, something she had absolutely no control over. If she wanted to, she could never change that aspect about herself. 

Why was she so limited? Why was she different from the rest of the Androids?

Why was she the one who had to hear Gavin tease her all the time? Hear countless people mock her physique?

How was any of this fair to her?

The questions pounded through her head and she could not think one possible answer.

It just was.

She wasn't the conventional android.

She was an imperfect mess. An unattractive, bloated mess. It hurt to see androids that were so much more beautiful than her, androids that didn't get to be at the receiving end of the cruelty of some humans. It hurt to see Connor turn back and glance at a passing Android, as they walked together and be completely unaware of her existence.

The shrill sound of her doorbell jerked her from her thoughts. She quickly reactivated her skin, and wiped the tears on her palm.

It was Connor at the door.

“I really do not want to talk right now,” she muttered, looking away and turning to close the door. It was unlike Alina, to shut the door on someone she loved but for the first time ever she felt.. exhausted.

“Alina, please,” was all he said, voice a mere rasp.

Alina pulled the door open a smidge, although her heart wasn't fully into it.

“We need to talk,” he said, walking in, waiting for her to join him after she had locked the door.

Alina settled down on the tiny couch and Connor sat down right beside her, hips touching.

“If it's about today, Connor- I would rather not,” she said, politely. She just couldn't. She couldn't go through it again.

Connor's expression softened.

“I know. But I read your stress levels today, Alina. They were at a 100% when the man..”

Alina looked up at him. She didn't want to tear up again. Not in front of Connor. She wasn't weak, no. She couldn't be weak.

“I want to know what you're thinking,” Connor said, nudging her shoulder. He sounded so gentle, Alina almost gave in. Damn the electricity that surged through her whenever he spoke. Damn the synapses in her brain that sparked brightly at his touch.

“Why?”

Alina didn't want to sound ungrateful. She was glad that Connor was making an effort, but right now her rationality couldn't make sense out of anything.

“You are my friend, Alina. Friends care for each other. I feel.. I must too,” he said softly.

She didn't know what to say to that.

“I didn't want to fight the man today,” Connor said quietly, after a while. “But I felt… this need to protect you and-”

He glanced at her, faltering. “I apologise for my behavior. I seemed to have scared you.”

“It's okay, Connor,” she said, smiling weakly. Connor’s sudden outburst was the least of her worries right now.

“It’s not okay. But..that is not the only reason why I'm here,” he said, voice dropping an octave.

“I sensed utmost discomfort in you when the man was talking. While I understand the reason, I couldn't help but wonder.. why do you let it get to you, Alina?”

There was such genuineness in Connor’s voice, Alina didn't have the heart to be mad at him.

“It's... strange, Connor. I cannot explain the origin of these insecurities, they have no rational explanation. But, perhaps, they exist because they are irrational,” she gulped. She knew that she was not really making sense but then again, what did?

Connor was gazing at her intently, head tilted ever so slightly as he tried to understand her.

He inched closer suddenly, turning to face her. He lifted one arm gently, as the skin on his hand faded to reveal the bare plastic beneath.

“If you can't tell me.. show me.”

“Connor I-”, she began but he cut her off.

“Please.”

Who could say no to those eyes? She held his stare as she lifted her own hand. Her hand stopped before his, as she looked at him hesitantly.

Connor let his fingertips brush against hers and Alina could swear electricity crackled between them.

Connor shut his eyes as he scanned through her memory.

This was huge. Alina was letting herself be completely vulnerable with Connor and yet… she didn't feel afraid. Not in the least.

She could feel - if that was the right word- his presence within her, an experience that was so liberating, Alina was almost overcome with all the new emotions that spilled in her.

Seconds later, Connor pulled away, hand dropping to his knee. He stayed awfully quiet for a moment.  

“Alina,” he spoke gently then, and she glanced at him fleetingly. What was he going to say? He probably knew how much she hated herself. Would he hate what he had seen too?

“I may not be able to fully understand the emotions that you feel but I know,” he paused, reaching out to brush a stray strand of hair behind her ear, “- that you are beautiful.”

Alina couldn't bring herself to look at him. How could she? He was being so kind and yet.. Alina didn't know if she should believe him.

“You may not be like other androids, but it's what makes you, you. You're different, Alina,” he said, lacing his hand through hers.

Alina almost jerked at his touch.

“You're so different and so intriguing,” he said softly. Alina glanced up at him at that. There was something different in the way he was looking at her and Alina felt her thirium pump… flutter. Connor was acting so strange, it confused her.

“Connor what-” she began, but faltered again. She was suddenly incapable of forming sentences. The intensity with which Connor was looking at her wasn't helping either.

“You like roses, am I correct?”

Alina nodded.

“But you also like sunflowers. Why?” he asked, ever so gently. His voice was a soft rasp and Alina would have listened to him speak all day.

“They're both beautiful flowers,” she answered, without hesitation. Now she was genuinely curious. Where was he going with this?

He stayed quiet for a moment, staring into her eyes. She wanted to look away but it was impossible to.

“Then why do you aspire to be a rose when you're a sunflower?” he asked, tilting his head.

Her heart actually missed a beat and a bunch of random errors popped in her brain at his words.

He had called her beautiful and compared her to a sunflower. She had only seen this happen in the movies that the humans made.

“Connor, I-I don't know what to say,” she said quietly, voicing her thoughts. She understood very well what Connor was getting at but it still troubled her greatly. He found her beautiful? Alina?

“You don't have to. I just want you to know, that just because you're different, it doesn't make you any lesser than anyone in this world. You're fairly attractive, you have beautiful eyes and-” he stopped, noticing Alina’s wide eyes.

“I overstepped, didn't I?” Connor said, grimacing and let go of her hand.

Alina regretted it instantly. Had Connor just confessed to her that he found her attractive?

The insecure part of her was screaming “No” and all sorts of ugly things but for once, Alina turned her focus to Connor and Connor only. What the hell was happening?

“Connor d-do you.. feel the same for me... as I do for you?” she asked, hesitant. There was a slight tremor in her voice as if she couldn’t believe her ears. Her Connor? Liked her as well?

Connor looked up at her through his lashes, eyes questioning.

“Every time I'm with you, I feel this surge of energy in my system, these metaphorical sparks at my fingertips- a whirlwind of something in-explainable,” she said so quietly, she wondered if she had said it aloud at all.

And then Connor's voice rang loud and clear inside her head.

“I feel all of that and so much more, Alina.”

Connor didn't spare her a single moment to process his words, before his lips were crashing against hers, frantic and fiery.

Alina knew what kissing was like, her database told her more than she wanted to know about it and yet it felt so strange.

It made her feel like she was floating, the dopamine-a2 and seratonin-a2 in her reaching unprecedented levels. Connor had one hand gently cupping her cheek, and the other clasped around her own, skin once again deactivated. She was completely vulnerable to him once more and there was so much of Connor around her and within her, she thought she was going to combust.

There could not have been a more tender moment between them.

They sat pressed against each other for a while, as the world fell around them.

“Don't ever, let anyone tell you that you aren't beautiful. You are so so beautiful to me,” Connor spoke in her mind, as he continued to nibble at her lips. Alina lost herself in the feel of him against her. 

“I admire you so much, Alina. You are so loving, so kind and so gentle,” he finally said aloud, when they had to break apart. 

Alina gazed up at him through dewy-eyes. 

The way Connor was looking at her right now, the way he had her hand pressed against his chest, made Alina feel as if she really was the most beautiful thing to ever exist.

If Connor could love her as she was, couldn’t she too? All the patients she had worked with ever, flashed in her mind through her boxed memories of them. They had loved her so much. They hadn't cared how much she had weighed. They had told her that when she smiled, she lit up the world.

The universe had it's mix of people. Some didn't agree with her and some did. Some loved her and some didn't. Everyone she had ever met was different than the last.

Your heart is what makes you several times more beautiful, Connor had said. 

There was a lot about the universe Alina had to learn, a lot more she had to discover.

But first, she was going to learn how to love herself for who she was.

a/n: Please, please leave feedback it would mean a lot to me!

[teamfreewill-imagine]

I Know Your Wife (She Wouldn’t Mind) - Part Twenty-Seven

Summary: You look more into the possibility of getting a dog, and your surprise baby shower brings more than one surprise. Words: 3k Jared x Reader x Gen, Jensen, Tom, Shep, assorted friends and family Warnings: none Beta: @blacksiren

I Know Your Wife - Masterpost

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Jared wasn’t kidding about looking for a dog.

You knew you needed to find one that would be good with kids - especially little ones seeing as you were due in less than two months.

Due to filming schedules you found it difficult to find time to go to shelters, but you were able to look around online for rescue dogs in the area.

One in particular caught your eye, and after a visit to her foster home after work one afternoon both you and Jared knew she was the pup for you.

The foster owner’s daughter recognised the two of you, and you just about managed to cover up why Jared was with you by telling them he had driven you while Jensen was still on set.

She seemed to buy it, happy with a picture with both of you before you left.

There was some more details you had to settle with the adoption charity, but you were sure this was the pet that would complete your home.

The day you were ready to pick up your new dog, Jared was called onto set in the morning.

“It’s okay, Gen can drive you,” he assured you. “That way the boys can meet her before you bring her home.”

You had agreed, too excited about getting the dog to be annoyed that Jared had to go to work.

Tom and Shep were giddy the whole drive over, and you weren’t much better.

Their questioning of ‘are we nearly there?’ didn’t even bother you; you were thinking the exact same thing.

Pulling up outside, you were practically vibrating with excitement.

Gen took the keys from the ignition and turned in her seat to face the boys in the back.

“There’s people in this house who know who Daddy and Y/N are, okay?” she told them, and Tom nodded in understanding.

“We can’t say anythin’ about Baby Ditto,” he explained to Shep, who nodded.

“Like at covetions?” he asked, and Gen grinned.

“Yeah, buddy. Like at conventions,” she agreed. “That okay?”

They both nodded enthusiastically, keen to get inside and meet the new dog.

The sound of the doorbell started a cacophony of barks, Shep excitedly jumping from foot to foot when he realised there was more than one dog inside.

“We’re still only getting the one, remember that,” Gen laughed, and he nodded.

“I know but I get to pet more,” he explained, making you laugh as the door opened.

“Y/N,” the woman smiled, looking over your entourage with a soft frown.

“Sorry, Gen is my ride today. Jared had to work,” you explained. “These are her kids, Tom and Shep.”

“Well, nice to meet all of you,” she smiled, shaking Gen’s hand. “I’m Ash. Come in and I’ll get Bailey’s stuff ready.”

“BaileyBaileyBaileyBailey,” Shep repeated excitedly, and you ruffled his hair on your way inside the house.

Bailey was laying on the carpet in the living room, and you crouched to snap a quick picture before she got up to greet you.

“Hey, sweetie,” you grinned as she sniffed at you. “Ready to come home?”

Tom was busy petting Ash’s dog on the couch, but Shep was stood beside you waiting - surprisingly patiently - to pet Bailey.

“She can’t hear very well,” you explained, “So you’re gonna have to learn some hand signals.”

“Yah,” he agreed. “Can I pet her?”

“‘Course you can,” Ash told him, her and Gen entering the room with Bailey’s belongings.

Using the couch to help you get to your feet - this pregnancy thing was becoming more and more of a hindrance - you beckoned Tom over to come and meet your new pet.

Ash spent a while teaching the gestures that Bailey knew to the boys, until they knew how to call her over and get her to sit, lay down, all of the basics.

“She’s a good girl,” Tom announced, and you grinned.

“She is,” you agreed. “And I get to take her home.”

“She comin’ t’Texas?” Shep asked, and Tom elbowed him in chastisement.

“Hey, don’t hit your brother,” Gen warned, and you sighed.

“Vancouver home, buddy,” you explained. “My house.”

Shep nodded, looking very much like he wanted to ask more but realising that he might be overstepping.

“Alright, kiddos,” Gen laughed softly. “Let’s get Bailey home.”

You motioned Bailey over to you, bubbling with warmth as she sat beside you, resting against your leg.

“How is she in the car?” you asked Ash.

“She’s great, calm as anything,” she told you, scritching between Bailey’s ears with her free hand. “Let’s get this stuff loaded and then you can be on your way.”

Back in the car, with Bailey happily laying in the generous trunk, it was evident that the boys had a few questions.

“Alright,” you said once Gen had pulled off of the drive and into the street. “What are you thinking?”

“Is she stayin’ in Vancouver forever?” Shep asked first, and you laughed softly.

“She’s gonna live with me forever,” you told him. “On summer hiatus she’ll probably come to Texas if we can drive down, but she’ll be up here while I am.”

He nodded, looking out the window as Tom piped up.

“What’s wrong with her feet?”

“We think she was born with deformed front paws,” you explained, “But she can use them like a normal dog and they don't hurt her.”

“Will she like Arlo?” Shep asked, and Gen let out a soft laugh at all of the questions.

“I hope so,” you told them. “She seems to get along with boy dogs better than girls, so we think she'll be alright with Arlo. And Oscar and Icarus.”

“And she loves children,” Gen added. “Even little babies so your little brother or sister will be very safe with Bailey.”

“That was my next question,” Tom murmured. “Some dogs don't like babies.”

“Bailey is very good with babies,” you promised, shifting to look at him. “We wouldn't have chosen her if we thought she wouldn't get on with Baby Ditto, okay?”

He nodded as Bailey sat up, looking out of the window at the cars passing by.

“I think she’ll like her new family,” he told you, wisely.

“Yeah,” Gen agreed, looking across at you briefly before fixing her eyes back on the road. “We’ve got a lot of love to give.”

You knew something was up the second you pulled onto your driveway after the two hour drive home and Jensen’s car was there.

It was lunchtime so he and Jared were supposed to be shooting; they’d left before you went to collect Bailey and weren’t due to be home until that evening.

“Maybe they just got done quickly,” Gen offered as you got out of the car.

“Jared and Jensen? Have you met them?” you teased, and she laughed while she helped the boys out.

“I don’t know what to tell you, babe,” she shrugged as you opened the trunk to let Bailey out.

Bailey was excited, sniffing the air as soon as the door was open to get used to her surroundings.

“Welcome home, buddy,” you grinned, kissing the top of her head before letting her jump down.

“We got you a soft bed an’ some toys an’ loadsa treats,” Tom told her, and Shep frowned.

“She can’t hear you,” he reminded his brother, but Tom just shrugged.

“I don’t care, I love her.”

You grinned as Shep nodded.

“Yeah. She’s nice.”

Tom helped Gen with the rest of Bailey’s stuff - favourite toys, blankets, things that would help her settle in - as you and Shep made your way to the front door.

You gave Shep Bailey’s leash as you unlocked the door, pushing it open so he could walk in first.

The sight of familiar little shoes in the entryway had your heart racing.

“Oh my God,” you breathed, kicking off your shoes as Gen and Tom followed you into the house, Shep letting Bailey off of her leash as you rushed through to the front room.

You stopped still in the doorway, Bailey accidentally bashing into your legs from the unexpected halt, as you took in the sight before you.

The room was full of people; castmates, friends from the crew, and - most importantly - Danneel and the kids.

“Tex,” you breathed, and she ran from her position to hug you.

“Surprise!” she grinned, and you cradled the back of her head against your side as you looked at the rest of your friends and family with tears in your eyes.

“What-?”

“It’s your baby shower,” Jared explained, stepping out of the group and smiling shyly. “Is… is this okay?”

“This is incredible,” you told him, leaning up to kiss him softly when he was close enough. “Thank you.”

You moved further into the room, letting Bailey follow you -  a little more cautious this time.

“This is Bailey,” you told everyone in case they’d missed your post. “She’s a bit deaf so don’t be offended if she doesn’t come when you call her.”

JJ was already playing with the dog as you went to greet everybody, starting with Danneel and the twins.

“I’ve missed you,” you told her as you hugged her. “I'm so glad you're okay.”

The news of the hurricane had been hard to handle, and you'd been Skyping with Danneel as often as you could to make sure they were all alright.

“We’ve missed you,” she retorted, kissing your cheek. “Whenever we get off of Skype, JJ goes on for ages about wanting to see you again.”

“How long are you here for?” you asked, picking up Zeppelin who seemed to have grown exponentially in the six weeks you’d been back in Vancouver.

“A couple months, if you’ll have us,” she smiled. “At least until Baby Ditto is back home and settled.”

Your heart fluttered as you kissed the top of Zep’s head.

“Thank you,” you murmured and Danneel smiled, squeezing your arm fondly.

“It’s what families are for,” she told you, letting you go. “Alright, greet your guests. We can catch up later.”

You did as she told you, keeping Zeppelin on your hip as you greeted everyone, surprised at how many people were there.

You frowned as Misha approached, a neatly wrapped parcel in his hands.

“What’s that?” you asked, and he shrugged.

“Swap you for the baby?”

You laughed softly, handing over Zep as he passed you the package.

“Mish… you already gave a lot towards the renovation fund,” you reminded him, and he shook his head.

“That was for you,” he explained. “This is for the baby.”

You caught Jared’s eye as he was talking to Briana, nodding him over.

He excused himself, frowning softly as he approached the two of you - three, counting Zep.

“What’s going on?” he asked, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

“Did you know Misha was getting something for the baby?”

“I specifically told everyone who donated to the house not to give us anything else,” Jared promised, raising an eyebrow at Misha.

Misha rolled his eyes, shifting Zep on his hip to motion at the parcel.

“I’d been planning this since way before you mentioned moving up here, okay?” he reasoned. “It’s not much but I want you to have it.”

You sighed as you perched on the arm of the couch, the parcel in your lap.

“C’mon, it’s not much,” Misha promised, urging you to open it.

You relented, carefully pulling back the wrapping.

“You really didn’t have to,” Jared murmured, but Misha just shrugged.

The parcel contained various onesies for the baby, each themed with places Misha had visited in the past few months; London, Rome, Iceland, even one from Vancouver.

You frowned softly at the London one.

“We were together the whole time in London,” you murmured, looking up at him. “How did you-?”

“You used the bathroom after the Dungeons,” he reminded you. “Their gift shop was full of generic London things beside all the cool creepy stuff.”

Jared picked up one of the onesies, a grin plastered on his face.

“This is so sweet, man,” he told Misha, patting his shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Baby Ditto is gonna be well travelled anyway,” Misha explained, “This is just a head start.”

You smiled, handing the rest of them to Jared as you got to your feet, hugging Misha as best you could with him still holding Zep.

“I can’t believe you’ve been planning this since May,” you laughed softly as you pulled back. “Baby Dits is gonna look cute as hell.”

He shrugged, bashful as he handed Zeppelin back over to you.

“Take your brother before your mom tells me off for commandeering another baby,” he joked, clearly glad you liked the gift but unsure how to accept the gratitude.

“I’m serious, thank you,” you told him softly as Jared took the clothes up to the nursery.

“Of course,” he smiled. “You know I love you and the baby, right?”

“Right,” you agreed, smiling as Zep’s fingers poked at your cheek. “That’s my face, buddy.”

You laughed as you distracted his hands with your finger.

“I should talk to some more guests,” you sighed as tiny fingers grabbed at your own.

“Don’t sound too enthusiastic,” Briana teased, walking up beside you and pulling you into a half-hug.

You laughed, bouncing Zep on your hip as you kissed her cheek.

“Thank you for coming,” you told her, and she grinned.

“I was hoping to catch a glimpse of the crib we bought…” she trailed off, looking up hopefully.

“You wanna check out the nursery?” you offered, grabbing the opportunity to ditch the main body of the party with both hands.

She nodded, so you lead her out of the front room and up the stairs.

“In less than five weeks there’ll be a baby in here,” you murmured, pushing open the door.

“You’re gonna be great,” Briana assured you, taking Zep from you as she walked inside, looking around. “I love this.”

You laughed softly, nodding to yourself.

“Are the colours a hint?” she questioned as your hands rested comfortably on your bump.

“Not in the way you’re thinking, but yeah,” you admitted, smiling at the glint in her eye.

“I can’t wait to be the cool aunt,” she told you, making you laugh.

“Yeah,” you agreed. “Baby Dits is lucky to have y’all.”

Despite your natural aversion to parties, the rest of the afternoon was enjoyable.

You played typical baby shower games - your guests cut yarn to the size they thought your bump would be, played ‘The Price is Right’ with different baby items, even made predictions of the sex, weight, birth date, and name of your baby - and it turned out to be a really fun time.

Jared, Jensen, and Gen of course abstained from guessing the sex and name, having the unfair advantage of knowing for sure.

Once everyone had left and you’d had a chance to really look at the predictions, you decided that JJ’s ideas were the best.

She was upstairs in Tom and Shep’s room while the grown ups tidied up after the party, so you excused yourself to go and talk to her about it.

You knocked on the door as you pushed it open, smiling at the sight of the three of them.

They’d pulled out the trundle bed from underneath Tom’s bed, setting up the room to make it comfortable for all of them to share.

“Hey, kiddos,” you smiled, “Can I talk to Tex for a sec?”

“Yah,” Shep agreed, carrying a pillow almost the same size as him over to the trundle.

“We can get this finished,” Tom nodded, JJ walking over to you and taking your hand.

You lead her through to your bedroom, sitting down and pulling her up beside you.

“I saw your guesses for Baby Ditto,” you told her, and she smiled.

“You gonna use the name?” she asked, making you laugh softly.

“You want me to call the baby ‘Rapunzel’?” you clarified, and she nodded.

“Or ‘Flynn’ if it’s a boy,” she confirmed. “They sound good with our last name.”

You swallowed, nodding.

“But, baby,” you hedged, brushing her hair back from her face, “Baby Ditto isn’t gonna have our surname.”

She frowned, shifting slightly to face you properly.

“Baby Ditto isn’t gonna be an Ackles?”

“No, sweetheart,” you sighed. “The baby will be a Padalecki. You understand… you know that Uncle Jared is Baby Ditto’s daddy, right?”

She nodded, still frowning.

“And you have the same last name as Dad, don’t you?” you reminded her, and she opened her mouth to reply before closing it again.

You waited, knowing that she was trying to figure out how to word her response.

“But… Mama has the same name, too,” she murmured. “So you’re gonna be a Padalecki, too?”

“Momma D has the name because she’s married to Dad,” you explained, watching her carefully to make sure she was understanding.

“So you’re gonna marry Uncle Jared?”

You shook your head.

“Aunt Mama is married to Uncle Jared.”

JJ crawled into your lap, resting her head on your shoulder and her hand on your bump.

“So… You’re still gonna be Ackles like me but Baby Ditto will be Padalecki like Uncle Jared?”

You nodded, turning your face to kiss the top of her head.

“Yeah, that’s right,” you smiled, glad that she understood. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” she smiled, pulling back enough to look up at you. “‘Punzel Padalecki is good, too.”

You laughed, wrapping her up into a hug.

“We’re not gonna name the baby after Tangled, baby,” you told her gently. “Baby Ditto already has a name.”

She nodded, hugging you back.

“It’s ‘kay,” she assured you. “You can save it for the next one.”

You let out a surprised laugh, kissing her head again.

“There might not be a next one,” you told her, getting to your feet and helping her hop down from the bed, “But you can always save those for your children.”

She hummed in contemplation as the two of you walked back towards Tom and Shep’s room.

“I already know what I’ll call my baby,” she announced, and you stopped outside the door, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Yeah?” you asked, and she nodded. “What’s that?”

She shrugged, her hand on the door handle.

“Ditto.”

tags are closed because this always takes me 20 years

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[findaboatandsailinit]

Know Me Better

I was tagged by @dirtystyles to answer a few questions. Thank you lovely for thinking of me. Here we goooo...

relationship status: Single

favourite colour: Black and a soft baby pink.

lipstick or chapstick: Um... I love a good red lip occasionally, but it’s lip balm most days for me.

three favourite foods: Veggies, loadsa veggies. And fruit and a good crusty sourdough bread and... I just love food. There isn’t much I don’t enjoy. Plant based though, please.

last song i listened to: This Is Me from the The Greatest Showman soundtrack. I haven’t even seen the film yet and I’m already obsessed with the soundtrack. IT’S SO FLIPPING GOOD!

last movie i watched: England Is Mine Director & Actor Commentary. I think?

top three shows: Just finished Downton Abbey within like the last 2 weeks and thoroughly enjoyed it (how is Allen Leech not related to Niall???) Peaky Blinders, and probably War & Peace cause it’s my go to thing and it’s got Lowden in it, what else could you want!

top three favourite bands: This is absolutly IMPOSSIBLE TO ANSWER! I won’t even try, I’m sorry, but no! Thank you, but no thank you.

top three favourite artists: And again... WORST QUESTION! I’m gonna say Harry, for obvious reasons but I mean... HOW AM I MEANT TO CHOSE 3??!

book i’m currently reading: Ugh, I’ve always got too much on the go. Obviously anything @looselucy is currently updating and all sorts of other absolutely amazing stories on here by equally as amazing people. (Fragile Heart by @icanseeyourholo, Meet Me In The Hallway by @aggresivelyfriendly, Ever Since New York by bittersweeets on Wattpad and I have no freaking idea who she is on here?! EDIT: it’s @bittersweetsfic. Not obvious at all, duh!) Other than that, the following are currently to be found on my bedside table: Disgrace by J. M. Coetzee, The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt, Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn, Revolution Road by Richard Yates, Norwegian Wood/Narkos Lächeln by Huraki Murakami (yes the English and German version of the same book, because the translation weirdly makes it feel like two different books entirely), Judgement Detox by Gabrielle Bernstein, and last but not least Die gerettete Zunge by Elias Canetti. Like I said, way too many haha...

Yup, that’s it. Thank you if you bothered to actually read haha. I’d like to tag @looselucy @icanseeyourholo @aggresivelyfriendly and @bleedinglove4h. Excited to see what books and music those girls will make me wanna read/listen to.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[iloveshippingkitty]

Nicknames - GoT fanfic - Arya x Gendry

(Based on a textpost that's put for loadsa ships) - ((crackfic/humourfic but i actually otp the ship)) The living Starks minus Jon Snow were up back at their home in Winterfell. Lord Baelish had been sentenced and put to death, his corpse was rotting in a cell. Gendry was held up in a bedroom, having been sent by Ser Davos to Winterfell to recover with a few more people. He was feeling a lot better and Arya had come to see him. Arya was a different girl now. She was still quite the same in some ways but plenty was different. That was okay. He was a different boy too. They had become young men and women and adapted to survive to adulthood through the extremes. It was true of most in Winterfell at the current moment in time. All barely above children with each a new and different trauma to even make puberty. It was horrifying but honestly it made him want to laugh. Plenty had told him of the trials and tribulations of puberty. He didn't think any of them meant what they had had to do. Arya felt the same way, they'd laughed a long while that night about it. He still loved her and, from the moment he saw her, he knew she still loved him too. That's why he agreed to risk it all. A few nights later, mostly recovered he told her he was ready if she was. At the witching hour she snuck out of bed and roamed the halls. Sansa soon found her calling out. As not to shock her by shouting and worried the new changes had caused sleepwalking, she decided to get closer and usher Arya awake and back to bed. That's when she realised Arya was saying something. "Daddy?" Arya called out to the darkness, her voice higher than normal by a touch. She turned inwards to the halls, "Daddy?" Again and again she called out, getting to the hall before Sansa caught up with her. When she did, Sansa shook Arya's arm gently and was surprised to find Arya plenty awake. "Arya, father has been dead a long time." Sansa replied softly. "Oh, I know. I'm looking for someone." "Who could you possibly be...?" Sansa asked but was interrupted by an opening of a door. "Babygirl! I'm sorry, I was just getting a snack." Gendry stood at the door nonchalantly. Arya gave her best seductive flimsy-damsel act as she hurried over to him, grabbed his shirt, and replied, "Daddy, you left bed without saying. And you call me a naughty girl." Out of the corner of their eyes they noticed Sansa's face slacken in shock. Her eyes wide and unable to process a thought. It became really hard not to laugh and while both managed it, Arya just couldn't help a little smirk. Sansa caught it instantly. Her eyes narrowed and her anger built up as she held back the temptation to whack both of them round the head. "You two are the worst." She grumbled then added, back to her usual composed self, "In jest or not, keep it in the bedroom. I hear that again and you will have a cell next to Lord Baelish to rot away in." Then as she started to laugh at it all, she walked back to her room, leaving them in the hall. When she got back to her room she fell apart laughing. As soon as she was out of the hall however, Arya said, "See? I told you she would find it funny." Gendry chuckled at a job well done and held Arya, "What I risk for you. We're lucky she isn't horrified enough to lock us up by Pervy Baelish right now." She laughed back and tried to push away. He backed off, smirking at her now, his arm still around her. "I don't need luck, daddy." She laughed, getting in his face. "Apparently you need some, cause your pushing what little left you had of it." He retorted, he replied getting in hers. "Don't like the nickname?" "Definitely not. What about you babygi.." "Finish calling me that and I will gut you." She said, interrupting him. "Right, no nicknames." He concluded then gave her a quick kiss. Now it was time for Arya to be shocked. The next day Sansa deliberately passed them with a swift whack around their heads each. Both of them took that to mean they were even now.

[pushspacetocontinue]

24, 28, 46 and for both, if you'd like (otherwise for mun, if you don't want to do both?)

24. “Showers. It gotta be a shower. You get cleaner in them and you’re not using loadsa water, ehehe…”

((Showers as well. I’m not really a “long soak” type of person. I just prefer to get in, get clean, and then get out.))

28. “I just like what I like, ehehe… Usually, I’ll be listening to something and then I’ll decide whether I like it or not, regardless of genre.”

((Same. I’m one of those people that doesn’t have a particular favourite musician or genre. I really do enjoy a lot of video game tracks though.))

46. “Ehehe, I don’t really know to be honest. I’d say I’m more a kind person and I hate to sound like I’m bragging, but I’m definitely braver than people might think, ehehe… I’m just the kind of guy who tries to be open minded and accepting, tries to enjoy life, ehehe, and tries to be good to others I guess. I care for my friends and sometimes worry about ‘em, and I’m often thankful for the things I have in life, ehehe… Real sappy, huh? Sorry, ehehe…”

((I’d say I’m on the quiet and shyer side, more so than Russell. That’s not so obvious here, but in person, you’d definitely see it. I also consider myself open minded and accepting. I think I’m rather-detailed oriented as well, especially when it comes to my writing or my photography. I’m also described as being a bit of an empath by others, which probably contributes to my need to be decent to others. I see how it would benefit them and how it can make a difference.))

[natromanxoff]

14 - Ramblings...

Hi everybody Here's a quick few notes from a wintery Bondi. Did we all remember Live Aid? It's hard to believe it was 13 years ago, I can still remember the day like it was last week. I know I've babbled on about the show before so I won't go on again, but after the concert there was an official Live Aid party at a club in London called Legends, so of course we all rocked up to it. As we walked through the doors the first thing you heard and saw was Cliff Richard, playing an acoustic guitar and singing Bachelor Boy, or some other piece of rubbish. I suppose we can all be thankful he wasn't dancing. Anyway, the bash was a bit laid back so after about half hour we piled back into the limo's and headed back to Garden Lodge to celebrate properly, and proceeded to get legless.

Around 6am I decided it was time to go home, so I strolled out and jumped into a cab. As soon as we were moving the cabbie said, "Did you watch any of Live Aid today? I saw some of it and my two daughters are Queen fans and got me to sit down and watch them, they were amazing." He then just kept on and on about how good the band was, and this wasn't for my benefit 'cause I didn't get in outside Fred's place, and I didn't tell him I was there and what I did, so it was a genuine rave. We stopped the cab for a bit so I could get all the papers, and I couldn't help sniggering at the fact that I was on the front page of everyone of them sitting behind Charles and Di. When I finally got home I came clean with the cab driver about what I did for a living, and handed him a souvenir for his daughters, and I gave him Freddies Live Aid backstage pass, and do you know what, the bastard still made me pay and accepted a tip.

A few day's ago a Sydney radio station, Triple J, had a three hour Queen special on, complete with live stuff and interviews, and it was really quite good, although I didn't listen to all of it. I don't know if it was the red wine, but it suddenly seemed weird hearing Freddie's voice again so I sent a fax of to Phoebe, and whilst writing it, It's A Hard Life came on, and once again I had a flashback to the making of the video, which I did remind Phoebe of. We made the vid in Munich, in what was the newest studio in Europe, very hi-tech. Tim Pope was the director on this one, recommended by Roger because we used him on the Man On Fire video, and he was very good. But on his one, maybe because he had a bigger budget, I dunno, he became so slow and useless it was beyond belief. At one point he was doing a lighting change and was taking so long we just upped and went to the beer gardens and returned in much better moods. The night before the shoot we all went out to dinner, had a couple of bottles of plonk, and advised the band that in their best interest they should go to bed very early, and they took my advice.

That was too easy. So we took them back to the Hilton and Phoebe and me continued with our master plan of going out for a few drinks without them, starting at the Sugar Shack and then onto where ever. We were very naughty little boys, and as we fell back to the hotel at 7am we agreed that the first one up call the other. No problem. Phoebe went off to the PPP, and I off to the HH. Back in our respective rooms we booked wake up calls for 9am, confident at the fact we could wake. At least Mr Freestone answered his phone, but when Freddie went into his room to see where he was, he was wrapped in telephone cable, because he had picked the phone up and gone back to sleep and rolled over. Later in the day we were informed it was a rather amusing sight.

As for your's truly, I had a very rude awakening, with a certain drummer standing at the end of my bed yelling something like, "Oi, wake up, you're supposed to get me up you...(fill in what you like here). When Felix, Rogers eldest boy saw the finished video he said, "Why does Freddie look like a prawn?" From that day on, that red getup was known as 'The Prawn Outfit'. And to top it all, in mine, and quite a few other peoples opinion as well, the video is a pile of crap.

Finally, and this is only for people in Australia, a few years ago a friend of ours introduced us to her new boyfriend, and he had to be a roadie/tech, or whatever they call themselves these days. Anyway, we had a few little drinkies and told a few war stories, and it turned out he had been on tour in Europe with Tori Amos and he collects gig posters from the venues, and he said he had something for me but I couldn't have it until it was mounted. A couple of days later he turned up at my place with a wonderfully mounted poster from Bonn, Germany. It's dated 22.5.90 and it's The Cross live at the Biskuithalle, and it has The Mad, Bad and Dangerous To Know logo and a great photo of the guys. No disrespect to Roger or the band, but I have no use whatsoever for it, and it's been tucked away behind the washing machine for the last four years, so if anybody wants it send your name and address to Jacky at the fan club and she will send them onto me (please) I will then pick a person and send it on to whoever, that's if anyone replies, if I don't get a response in a week it goes in the bin. If there is more than one reply I'll give it to the person who comes up with the best reason to have it. For those who understand code. Farewell DMF, it was fun. Maybe that prat will disappear as well. Loadsa Luv

Crystal

[djeuphonique]

Big love to anyone out there struggling right now - especially those working their ass of in the creative industries. It’s hard to keep going especially if you’re super busy, have alot you feel you should be doing that you’re not or when you’re feeling frustrated you’re not doing as much as you want to be, trust me I get it! Remember you’re only human, and the only thing you should be doing is looking after your own happiness and checking in with the people you care about. The rest is just extra! Work hard for what you love and want of course, but don’t let worrying about it consume you. It’s hard out here, in a digital and competitive world, just do you the best you can 🧡🙏 you’re probably smashing it way more than you care to see anyway, and loadsa people see it so keep on keeping on Xxx #yougothis

[aliciavspinnet]

Helooo!! important question: how does one become an official bracket hoe? (even if she is one already but not an official member lol)

Haha hello my wonderful anonymous friendo - that is a good question 

(idk?) um I did applications for the net sorta recently so I hadn’t even considered opening them back up?? (so sorry) but at the same time there seems to be loadsa interest so maybe I should?? but also I want to keep the net sorta small cause then we can all really know each other (so I’d only really want like 5 more people max?)(idk)(cause then actual friendships happen and ahhh i don’t know what to dooo??)(but keep using them brackets cause they r lyf & I shall see what all my fellow bracket hoes think about it)