#i want a goddamn nap before dinner

[frogeyedape]

I am 2 days late in picking up my refills. 2 days sans one of the drugs that helps me function. I am sitting sideways on a single stair in the deepening gloom of twilight not putting shoes on and not picking up keys wallet etc and not going to the pharmacy because...why? Genuinely. There is no good reason for this. Yay executive dysfunction!

I made the plan: pick up RX and buy materials for breakfast tomorrow. Coming down the stairs I added: hmm maybe I will also buy other meal ingredients for quesadillas? At which point I thought but no, I have the dish I made yesterday...but I finished the rice and need to make more rice...and here I am stuck in decision paralysis.

[dilf-issues]

Vanilla | C.M

Requested by Anon: hey dunno you take requests but since your writing is so hot , I'm willing to ask if you consider writing about roleplaying with Cillian and his wife or gf to break the dull routine they were stuck into , the way he suggested that to her being embarrassed and the sweet moments they ditch the characters in bed. He could bring his characters *cough cough * Tommy shelby. Thank you x

Synopsis: In which your boyfriend, Cillian, finds out you’ve been reading erotic fiction about his character in the Peaky Blinders, Tommy Shelby. Cillian shows you how much of a great actor he is.

Warnings: Age gap, the reader is in her 20s and Cillian is in his 40s. Roleplaying, extremely rough sex, dumbification, degradation, face slapping, spitting, pussy spanking, oral sex, unprotected sex, breeding kink, and a little cnc. THIS IS KIND OF DARK SO BE WARNED. Everything is consented it’s just that... Cillian’s gonna be rough, like ROUGH

.

Cillian had been busy. He had an upcoming new season this year and his schedule was packed. You haven’t spent time with him in quite some time now. He constantly apologized for not giving you enough attention and promised to make it up to you.

He decided to fulfill this promise.

Since he was the main character in his series ‘Peaky Blinders’, he did have massive privilege in the production. He had never done it before since he had been such a dedicated person to work with, however, he felt like he should sacrifice his work just for you. He wanted to spend the time with you, maybe have some dinner together at a nice restaurant. Just the usual things the both of you would do. Every time he had some free time he would do some nice things for you, treat you like a princess.

He came home from work that day, he got permission to take the week off and he even got back early from set. He wanted to surprise you, he had a flower in his hands a box of your favorite soft cookies. It was all so perfect.

When he came home, he saw that the first floor was empty and there were no signs of you anywhere. He went upstairs since he reckoned you were in the bedroom, probably taking a nap or reading a book.

Cillian was so happy. He was a man who barely showed any emotions in public but with you, it was different. He had a wide smile on his face, ready to surprise you but when he opened the door, he didn’t see you on the bed.

Instead, he heard the shower running and so he hummed to himself, setting the gifts down as he sat on the bed to wait for you.

As he patiently waited, he noticed your phone was still on. You were the type of person to let the screen go on forever instead of turning it off every 3 minutes like him. He glanced absentmindedly as he saw you were reading some sort of story on your phone. His actions were harmless, he just wanted to see what you were reading.

His eyes skimmed through the words as his blood runs cold.

‘Tommy had me bent over his desk, ass red and swollen from all the beatings. My pussy was leaking down onto the expensive wood, desperate for his cock to ram inside me.

“Please, Mr. Shelby, I need your cock!” I plead like a good whore as he growled.

“You are nothing but a filthy cocksleeve”

Tommy? Shelby? His Tommy Shelby? The character that he played?

It seemed like all of the blood started circulating to his face as he flushed at the filthy thing he had just read. Y/N? His sweet Y/N was reading something like that?

Cillian couldn’t believe it because someone as young and pure as he would never be this dirty. Because of their age gap, he saw her as someone that he needed to protect, shield from the rest of the goddamned world. His fragile little princess that he wouldn’t dare to inflict even a slight force in fear that she might break and shatter into pieces.

The sound of the shower became silent and it interrupted his thoughts, he quickly placed her phone where it belonged as he stood up and smoothened the spot on the bed where he sat to make it seem like he just came in.

When you had walked out, it took you a moment to notice Cillian standing there with your gifts but when you did, you gave him a small scream as you ran towards him, your figure wearing nothing but a small towel.

“Cillian?! You’re back? You brought me gifts!” You exclaimed as her wet body embraced him in a hug. Cillian was somewhat still blank from what he was reading earlier.

‘If she had liked that kinda stuff so much he could push her on the bed and beat her ass right now’

His eyes widened at his own thoughts as he tried to push them away, “Yes princess, I thought maybe I haven’t been paying attention to you now have I? I’m all yours for the week, baby”

You pouted as you nodded at him, and then he realized how submissive-looking you were. You had always had a demeanor of what he would expect someone much younger than him to have, however, Cillian was starting to look at it in a new light.

It doesn't help the fact that he still has his Thomas Shelby haircut for the filming.

It also doesn’t help she was almost naked in front of him, he hadn’t fucked her in weeks. It’s almost fitting.

Maybe doing something about it wouldn’t hurt now would it?

Oh... But it’s definitely gonna hurt you...

Cillian watched closely as the girl before him admired his gifts for her in awe. His eyes became more and more lusted as he figured out a way to approach you.

“Love, can I ask you a question?”

You hummed at him innocently as she raised her brows at him, “Anything, Cill...”

“What have you been reading on your phone, hmm?” Her eyes widened slightly as her heart started to pound in her chest. Cillian was looking at her so intensely that it was slightly scary. She didn’t know if she should lie, or if she should tell him the truth. However, since he had asked... It was obvious he knew the truth.

“Cillian I can explain” You sputtered, panicking on the inside as Cillian started closing whatever gap that both of you had, he was looking down on you in a way he had never done before. You felt the chill run down your spine as you felt the back of your knees hitting the bed.

“Explain” He commanded.

“It’s just... You know I love you and you know I should be honest to you no matter what. But... I just... We haven’t been together in a long time lately and even when we do... It’s always the same...” You felt guilty saying this to him, it’s not like he was bad at sex. He was great. However, you were getting bored with the same soft and loving sex you two always had. “I just... I hope you can be a little rougher, that’s all. You’ve always been... So soft”

“Soft... Hm?” He tilted his head to the side as he stared at you almost mockingly, “Be careful of what you wish for, love”

You had felt your heart stop when Cillian’s smooth Irish accent suddenly turned into the dark Brummie accent you had always heard about on the TV. The one you had always touched yourself to when he wasn’t around.

Then out of nowhere, Cillian had roughly pushed you on the bed as you fell down and whimpered softly. He pulled off the towel on your body as you were left naked, “C-Cillian!”

“Who the fuck is Cillian, eh? Have you been fucking whoring yourself out to another man?” Cillian cursed at you as he quickly took his clothes off, “You’re my whore. You’re mine to fuck, you got it?”

Then you can physically feel your gears shifting in your brain, “T-Tommy?”

Your body shivered as you felt yourself getting wet, you were all naked and you were ready for him. You felt your legs spread instinctively as you heard him laugh, “You really are such a desperate fucking cunt, eh?”

‘Tommy’ had bent down as he gripped your face by the cheeks and roughly shook your head, “Who do you belong to? Who do you fucking belong to?”

“Y-You Cill-Tommy! I belong to you!” Tommy smirked, as his hands traveled down to your navel, teasing you as he drew figures on the skin, making you whine, “Open your fucking mouth you dirty whore”

You wasted no time opening your mouth for him, wide with your tongue out. Suddenly, he did the unexpected when he spat in your mouth, “Fucking swallow it, princess”

You swallowed his spit like a good girl as you held out your tongue to show to him, suddenly seeking his praise and validation however it never came. Tommy just hummed as he let go of your face harshly, almost slamming your head onto the plush bedding.

Characters aside, Cillian was never like this. Throughout the year of your relationship, he had always been gentle and kind, treating you like a soft feather and taking care of you. Maybe because it was because he was much older he had felt like he needed to treat you gently. You never realized Cillian had this side to him. He had always had this side, you just never awaken it.

“Spread your legs wider” He commanded, his voice dark as his character, you listened to him, eager to show him you were his good girl as he hummed looking down at the glistening flesh in between your legs. You were so wet it had dripped down and leaked onto the bedsheet. Without a warning, Tommy gives a hard slap to your cunt and you screamed out. You thought he was doing it once but it seems like it came over and over again, beating your swollen pussy and clit until it was throbbing and red. You cried out of pleasure and pain, as you begged him. You didn’t know what you were begging for but it was sure not for him to stop.

“You fucking like this don’t you? Fucking hell, look at you. You’re fucking wet, you like getting fucking beaten and bruised huh? What a fucking whore. You are nothing. You are only good for fucking, you are only here to fuck. Remember that, you fucking cunt”

Tears were flowing down and you were desperate you were so desperate for his cock. After each word, Tommy spat on your body, leaving you all wet and filthy combined with your own sweat and arousal.

“P-Please! P-Please, fuck me, Tommy! Please I need your cock. Please I want your cum. I need it inside me!” You pleaded like a whore as he slapped your face. You moaned out as his hand traveled down your neck and choked it just enough to make you feel the air around you restricting. “Tommy, I can’t, I need your cock”

He scoffed, pulling down his pants as whipped out his cock. It was so hard to the point where it became purplish-red, the veins covering the base as the head leaked with pre-cum.

“You want my cock?” He lined up his tip on your vagina, “You fucking get it you cocksleeve”

Without giving you a warning and time to adjust, Tommy slammed his cock inside your cunt and he wasted no time ramming into you roughly. Not like you needed time to adjust since you were sopping wet. All you can do is choke out his name and moans as he grunts with each slam.

His pace was rough and deep and for someone like hin with his age, he had the stamina to go on and on fucking you so rough till you can feel him ramming in your stomach.

No words could even cum out of your mouth as your eyes rolled back as he fucks you braindead.

Spit drooling at the side of your mouth as you babble like a cock hungry whore underneath him.

“I’m gonna fucking cum and you’re gonna take it. You’re gonna fucking carry my babies, and even then it is not gonna stop me from fucking you stupid”

You could feel him twitching as his thrusts were getting sloppier and sloppier, you could also feel your orgasm coiling in your tummy as you cried out once you let it all go, the liquid splashing all over the both of you as you squirt on his dick.

You were heavily overstimulated and you screamed as Tommy fucked the cum out of him.

The warm seed spilled inside your walls as he grunted in pleasure, leaning down as he bit your neck and drew blood to the surface.

Tommy looked at you all fucked out, eyes still rolling at the back of your head as you continue to babble nonsense to nothing.

He breathes heavily as he lays down beside you, carefully moving your body to cuddle up to him.

“Like I said, my love... Be careful of what you wished for”

[themultifanshipper]

There aren't a lot of things that are hotter than a man winning a Formula 1 World Driver’s Championship.

Warnings: smut, PinV sex, teasing, car sex?, technically public sex?, manhandling a bit? fluff at the end

That's precisely what your boyfriend had just done, for the second year in a row, and you were horny about it. Cockiness was dripping from his frame, along with the several bottles worth of champagne he'd been sprayed with as he strutted around the paddock like a peacock.

His wet hair made him look like a drowned dog and there was nothing sexier to you than his dark eyes watching you from his perch on the top step of the podium.

The frustrating thing is, although he clearly wanted you, he wouldn't touch you at all.

The first thing he did when he got to his driver’s room was ring his dad.

There's also nothing sexier than a man that has a good relationship with his parents.

Given Fernando's insatiable sexual appetite, you assumed he would fuck you in his room after the race, but that didn't happen.

As soon as the phone call to his dad ended he went straight back out to spray everyone with champagne and be unhinged with his friends about his victory.

That's okay though, he was in the mood to celebrate, and you could certainly wait until you got home to get railed.

It was frustrating, but you managed to keep yourself in check.

But you never went home.

Fernando went out to celebrate straight from the paddock… in his race suit.

Fair enough, he had just won a championship, he deserved to party into the night.

You saw a side to him that night that you'd never seen before.

He got trashed, and I mean trashed.

You learned that night, thathe could apparently play the piano??? Since when you didn't know but there he was, still in his suit at 4 o’clock in the morning at an after-after party, god knows where, playing a goddamn piano and he wasn't even missing a single note.

By the time the two of you got on the jet home you were both drunk enough and tired enough that you passed out immediately.

The entire day was spent traveling, napping and snacking to try and regain some strength for the evening dinner plans that neither of you really remembered making.

As the time of the reservation got closer and you two felt more human again, your horniness came back full force at the sight of your WDC winner boyfriend glowing with pride and joy every time he looked at his trophy (that he'd sneakily taken with him) sitting on top of the cabinet in the corner.

But he refused to let you touch him before dinner, threatening to tie you up and leave you there if you didn't behave.

The idea was almost appealing, but you decided to be good anyway, putting on a very short dress in an attempt to rile him up a bit as revenge for making you wait so long.

He just rolled his eyes at you before following you out of the door to the car.

To be honest, you were dressed like a slut, but it was nothing compared to him.

He had decided to go to dinner in the least appropriate attire he could possibly have picked. A pair of jeans with a Renault shirt. An open Renault shirt. With nothing underneath. And a fucking shark tooth necklace.

What a prick.

It made you wet.

You swore he was doing it on purpose. Regardless, this new Fernando was making your skin prickle with arousal and you couldn't wait for him to win more championships to see how much more of a prick he would become.

You somehow got to dinner without incident, and sat down around the large table set for 12 people.

No one was there yet however, and you two laughed at how everyone was probably too hungover to be on time.

As you talked, and your eyes strayed over your boyfriend’s figure, the need between your legs grew stronger and you decided to have some fun while you were still alone.

It started with a hand innocently stroking his knee, nothing out of the ordinary.

Every time you laughed your hand went higher and higher on his thigh, and the sucker didn't even notice until your pinky rubbed at the crease of his jeans.

His leg jerked at the feeling and he gasped, so you slid your hand another couple of inches and your fingers brushed over the front of his pants.

“Stop it. We are in public!” he whisper-yelled.

You just smirked at him.

“Come on, Papi… that's never stopped you before” you purred as your thumb rubbed up and down his rapidly hardening cock through his jeans.

“Fuck, you don't know what you do to me, Nena…” he glanced around before pulling your chair closer to his and trailing a hand up the inside of your thigh.

But where he would have normally felt the wet fabric of your underwear, his fingers were met with bare skin, and he sucked in a breath before looking down.

You spread your legs for him and he groaned as his pointer finger ran through your folds, collecting some of the wetness there before lifting it to his mouth and sucking on it, dark eyes penetrating your soul as he stared at you.

“So sweet, I wonder what has got you this worked up hmm?”

You whimpered softly and were about beg for him to touch you more when he suddenly straightened up and snapped your legs shut.

Time was up, people had arrived.

Dinner was hell, but you managed to keep yourself entertained by discreetly sliding your hand under the table cloth and rubbing Fernando's softening cock to full hardness before stopping and letting him writhe in his seat while he tried to make it go down again.

Over, and over again. And every time, he flashed you increasingly menacing smiles and you knew you were in for it when you got home.

When you left the restaurant he bid goodbye to everyone and walked towards his car, where you were waiting for him with increasing excitement.

His heated gaze roamed over your curves as he approached, and he growled “get in” before climbing in himself and turning the car on.

Fernando was silent as he drove, readjusting himself periodically in his jeans.

It took you a while to realise he hadn't taken the usual route home, and was now driving through a country road you vaguely recognised from one of your first dates with him.

It lead to a hill from which there was a perfect view over the city. And the sun had just set, painting the sky a dark purple colour as the city lights started turning on.

It was breathtaking, and you were so engrossed in the sight you hadn't realised the car wasn't moving anymore, and Fernando opened your door and lifted you out of your seat.

He set you down on the hood of the car and spread your legs, sliding the pads of his fingers through your folds, and you were just as wet as you were back at the restaurant.

You gasped and grabbed his face to kiss him. He went willingly, licking into your mouth at the same time as he pushed a finger into you.

You groaned and deepened the kiss, trying to grind down on his finger but his other hand held your hips still as he added another.

Every time he hooked them upwards it sent a jolt of pleasure through your body and you shuddered, and his thumb came up to circle your clit lightly.

You moaned into his mouth as your high slowly approached, you'd been so pent up the past couple of days you knew you weren’t going to last long.

Your head tilted backwards as the pleasure crawled up your back, but just as you were about to reach bliss, he retracted his hand and you whined in distress at the sudden loss.

He chuckled, sucked his fingers clean and pulled you up to stand before turning you around and pressing you down against the hood, kicking your feet apart to make your spread your legs.

“Papi…” you whined “I need to come, please, it's been so long.. “

“But you've been a bad girl” He replied, pushing your head onto the metal surface, hips grinding against your ass. “And bad girls don’t get what they want, hermosa. You know that.”

You huffed and tried to protest but he shut you up by shoving two fingers in your mouth and leaning over you to whisper in your ear.

“You have been teasing me all night, now I'm going to take what I want, and you will take whatever I give you, understood?”

You groaned around his fingers as you heard the sound of his belt and zipper being undone.

The slide of his cock against your sopping folds made you shiver and he pushed in slowly, stretching you out deliciously around his thick length as he went in all the way to the hilt.

You let out a breath when his tip kissed your cervix, and you knew then and there you were going to be sore tomorrow.

He held your head down, forcing you to look at the view of the city lights as he started moving his hips at a bruising pace.

Your legs were shaking in no time and your moans got louder, spurring him on in his endeavour to rearrange your insides.

He leaned over you, pressing his chest against your back and he pounded into you for all he was worth as he felt your throbbing cunt clench around him, seconds away from reaching euphoria.

“Go on, hermosa. Come on my cock like a good girl”

When you did, the colours bursting behind your eyelids were better than any view could ever be, and you shook in his hold as you let out a long stuttered moan.

“I'm going to fill you up, make you all mine”

You felt the warmth of him filling you up and you moaned weakly as he wrapped his arms around your body and just held you there lovingly.

After a while the cold night air made you shiver so he pulled out and went to the boot of the car to fetch a hoodie he had stashed there because he knew you'd get cold in your skimpy outfit.

He just knew you too well.

He also quickly grabbed something from the driver’s side door before slipping it in his pocket and handing you the hoodie.

“Aww thank you baby, I love you so much” you huddled closer to him and pressed your lips to his, basking in your post-sex glow.

“I love you too” he squeezed you briefly in his arms and slid away from where he’d been leaning on the hood “in fact, I love you so much that I have a very important question for you”

He held your hand as he got down on one knee in front of you “Baby…”

You gasped, surely he wasn’t going to do this now?

But there he was, pulling the ring out of his pocket as he looked up at you with red cheeks and dopey grin.

"Love of my life, will you spend the rest of your life with me, as my wife?”

You did your best to sound angry, but failed miserably when a smile couldn't help but overcome your face, as you shrieked at him from above.

“Fernando Alonso! How dare you propose to me when I have your cum running down my leg!”

His eyes briefly flitted to where your inner thighs were indeed slick with him and he had the audacity to look ashamed before he quickly grinned and pushed you back against the car.

He gripped your thighs and spread them roughly, licking his lips hungrily at the sight of you folds gleaming in the faint light of the city skyline.

“Let me clean you up before you give me your answer then"

[vivwritesfics]

Hooked On A Feeling

Chapter Twenty One - The Kids Go To School

Daniel is a Formula One driver, but, more importantly, he was a single dad to a wonderful little girl. He wants her to be a normal little girl, to have a normal social life, so he sends her to daycare. That was where she met Milo, her future best friend.

Milo's mother was incredibly stressed. She worked so hard to provide a good life for her son. But then he makes a new friend, a friend who has a hot dad (ofc they fall in love)

1.5K

Single Dad!Daniel x Single Mum!Reader

Series Masterlist

The Monaco trip went incredibly well. They hung around with other drivers, went out to dinner and such. Y/N got to explore somewhere she had always dreamed of visiting. Daniel took her to do anything she wanted, all to see the smile on her face.

Daniel took the kids to play padel. They played with Lando and Max while Daniel watched on, grin on his face. Before Y/N and Milo had to fly home, she agreed to do something that Olivia had always wanted to do. She took her shopping.

For the rest of the holiday Y/N didn't get to see Monaco Daniel. They had short moments alone, but not enough to really bring him out. But she had a feeling she'd get to see him again.

The end of the week came about far too quickly. Before they knew it, Daniel was kissing Y/N goodbye and giving Milo a hug at the airport in Nice. He'd spent most of their time in Monaco trying to bond with Milo, and it seemed to have worked. "Bye, Daniel," Milo said as he hugged him.

"Bye, Milo," he said and let go of him, standing up straight. Daniel turned his attention to Y/N. "Call me when you land, okay?"

She nodded her head and kissed his cheek. "I will do, Danny," she said. She couldn't stop herself from throwing her arms around him. "I love you."

"I love you too." Daniel couldn't stop himself from kissing her one last time before letting her and Milo go. It was a damn long flight from Monaco back to Australia, and he knew he'd be counting down the hours until he heard from her again.

As soon as he couldn't see them anymore, Daniel headed back to Monaco. He'd left Olivia in Max's care while he dropped them off at the airport.

The minute he got out of the car his fingers itched to call her. But he couldn't, not when they were about to get on their flight back home. Besides, he had to get himself and Olivia to the USA.

***

The week that Daniel and Olivia were in America passed by slowly for Y/N. She worked through it, and could hardly wait until they got back. For Daniel and Olivia it went by quickly. They had something to do every day, filling the time until they returned home.

When they did return home, Y/N was working. As much as she wanted to be there for their arrival, she couldn't. Not when she already had so much work to get on with.

But Daniel was ready for when she finished her shift. He and Olivia unpacked their stuff, had a quick power nap each, and headed over to her place. On the way Daniel picked up flowers. He'd missed her so goddamn much, he couldn't begin to describe it.

"Can we sleep over?" Olivia asked as Daniel parked up outside of the house.

"Sorry, Badger. But Y/N's got work tomorrow, so we can't. But we might get to hang out with Milo tomorrow," he said as he climbed out of the car. Olivia followed him out. She took her fathers hand, holding the flowers with the other. Together they headed up to the house.

As soon as Y/N opened the door and saw him standing there, she threw herself at him and wrapped her arms around him. "I missed you, too," he said with a grin, squeezing her back. As soon as he released her, Daniel kissed her, and the kids let out a series of 'eww's'.

She stepped back, allowing Daniel and Olivia into her home. "From daddy and I," said Olivia as she passed Y/N the flowers.

"Thank you, Livvy," she said and led them through to the kitchen to put them in a vase.

It might have been summer for Daniel, Milo and Olivia, but Y/N still had to work. It sucked and she thought of nothing but them as she sat at her desk. It was clear to her coworkers that she was distracted, but they couldn't do anything about it.

Daniel was happy to look after Milo while she worked. With all the time in the world, there was nothing more he wanted to do. He took them karting, on fun days out to the zoo, to theme parks and more.

With the amount of time Y/N and Daniel were spending together, they might as well have moved in together. But they both knew it was far too early in the relationship for anything like that.

Before any of them knew it the end of summer rapidly approached. Every time somebody brought it up, Milo went all quiet. It was no secret that he was terrified of starting school. Y/N had been so careful as to not upset him when buying school supplies.

But the day was fast approaching, and Y/N had to sit him down at the kitchen table. "Munchkin, you're starting school next week," she said. "How're you feeling?"

Milo shrugged his shoulders as he looked down at his lap. "I don't get why I can't go to the same school as Olivia," he mumbled under his breath.

She let out a quiet sigh. She hated mentioning money to her son and tried to avoid it at all costs. They were poor, but Milo didn't have to know.

"Miley, baby, we can’t afford the school that Olivia goes to. But you can still hang out and play on weekends," she said, reaching over to take his hand.

Reluctantly, Milo nodded his head. For the next week his nights were sleepless. Y/N didn't know why he was so terrified of school; she wanted to do anything she could to fix it.

Just a week later she was walking with him to the classroom of his new school. Milo hadn't gripped her hand that tightly in almost a year.

She held him tight before she left him there. Guilt spread through her as she drove away from the school and headed to work.

For the entire day she had her phone out, waiting for a call from Milo's teachers to come and pick him up. But the call never came.

It wasn't that Milo was getting on with things and making new friends. It was more that he was too afraid to show just how upset he was. He was quiet, sitting at the back of the room with his head down. He hated this.

***

"But daaaddy, I don't want to go to school," Olivia muttered as Daniel drove her.

There had been a small fight between himself and his ex over who would take Olivia for her first day. Daniel only won because it was his week to have her.

"Why can't we just have summer all the time?"

Daniel laughed as he pulled into the car park. "That would be cool, wouldn't it Badger?" He asked, opened hid car door.

He helped Olivia out of the back of the car and grabbed her back pack off the seat for her. Daniel helped her put the backpack on her back and walked her to her classroom. "Be good, okay? I'll come pick you up later," he said and hugged her before she ran off to make new friends.

At the daycare the parents bad gotten used to seeing Daniel. They no longer stared at him, whispered to their partners and pointed. Now they they were starting somewhere new, the stares and the whispers started again. Daniel ignored it as he headed back to his car.

As he drove, he used the hands free in his car to call Y/N. "Hey babe," he said the moment she picked up.

"Hi, Danny," she replied quietly. He realised then that she must have been in her office. "How was Olivia this morning?"

"Oh, you know. Complained about summer not lasting forever and then immediately ran off to make friends," he said as he drove to meet his trainer. "How about Milo? How did he seem when you left him?"

Y/N sucked in a breath. "He... I'm worried about him, Danny. I'll be surprised if he speaks to anyone at all today. I mean, it took him all of daycare to make friends with Olivia."

"If you wanted to transfer him to Olivias school, I'd be happy to pay," he immediately said.

Although he couldn't see it, Y/N shook her head. "Danny, I can't ask you to do that," she said.

"I just want you to know I'd be happy to," he said as he pulled in the gym car park. "I gotta go. Are we still on for dinner later?"

"Of course," she replied. "I love you, Danny."

"I love you too."

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[roosterforme]

The Curveball Part 13 | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: Molly didn't think life with Bob could get any better. Then their son arrives, and she's proven wrong yet again. She doesn't know what the future holds, but she knows that she wants her family with her for every adventure. And that starts with a trip down a grassy path through some wildflowers.

Warnings: Angst, fluff, swears, pregnancy, smut, 18+

Length: 3900 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC (this story accompanies Batting Practice!)

Check my masterlist for more! The Curveball masterlist

Thank you to @mak-32 and @teacupsandtopgun for the beautiful banners!

With the number of times Bob had to field the question, "So how did you and Molly get engaged?" you would have thought he could answer it by now without blushing. But he couldn't. Not even close. 

The only ones who knew what really happened were Nat, Bradley and Molly's sister. Nat kept calling Molly 'a goddamn legend'. Bradley cringed. And Molly's sister just said, "Yeah, that tracks."

But Molly kept those pretty Mrs. Floyd nipple piercings in for him, and he loved her even more for it. Her belly had gotten so big by Valentine's Day, he didn't know how she'd make it all the way to her due date in another four weeks. She looked absolutely exhausted after every shift in the emergency room, and more often than not, she ended up falling asleep on the couch with him after dinner while they watched a murder documentary. 

"Mo," he whispered on Friday night after she fell asleep mostly on top of him on the couch, his big hand splayed over her belly. His son was squirming a bit as he stroked her soft skin. She was incredible. His Molly. They hadn't decided exactly when they were going to get married, but she kept talking about wildflower meadows. So he agreed to wait until the summer, after the baby was born. 

He had to whisper her name a few times before she jolted awake. "Hmm?" she moaned. "Bobby, I was in the middle of a delicious nap." He kissed her lips when she pouted at him. 

"Let's get in bed, Honey," he said softly, pulling her shirt down over her belly. "We have to babysit Ev tomorrow so your sister and Bradley can go out for Valentine's Day."

She smirked at him. "They like to do dirty shit in the Bronco."

Bob just shrugged. "We do dirty stuff in my truck all the time."

She moaned softly as she said, "We sure do, Lieutenant Floyd." Bob's eyes slowly closed as Molly's hand skimmed down his abs and into the waistband on his underwear. "Dirty stuff everywhere. Anything my fiancé wants."

Bob grunted as her small hand wrapped around his cock, and her lips grazed his stubbled jaw. He was getting harder as she stroked him slowly, tongue darting out to taste his neck. "Molly," he moaned, bucking up into her hand as she teased his tip. But she just hummed against him as she jerked him off. And then her hand slowly came to a stop until she was just softly cupping his balls.

And then he heard her soft, even breathing next to his ear, and Bob couldn't help but laugh. She actually fell asleep while she was giving him a handjob. Bob thought for a moment that maybe a less secure man would be insulted, and maybe that's what Molly was used to in the past, but he knew she was beyond tired right now. 

He kissed her forehead and gently eased her hand back out from his underwear. "It's bedtime," he whispered, and she jolted awake again.

"No," she said, shaking her head and trying to reach for his cock. 

"Yes," he replied with a chuckle as he slid out from under her without being too rough with her bump. "Come on, and I'll rub your back until you fall asleep in bed."

"Mmkay," she agreed, bleary eyed as Bob led her to their bedroom. He helped her get undressed, kneeling in front of her and placing some gentle kisses to her belly like he did every night. 

"I love you," he whispered as Molly ran her fingers through his hair. The nightly conversations with his son were something he was definitely going to keep doing after the baby was born. "I can't wait to meet you. We just finished getting your nursery ready. I hope you like baseball, because your Uncle Bradley and I went a little nuts in there."

"That's an understatement," Molly whispered. "They went flipping bananas."

Bob cupped her pretty belly with both of his hands and smiled. "Mommy's right. We did go overboard."

He watched Molly yawn before she said, "It's okay. Everett and Piper will teach him all about baseball." And then she kept yawning, so Bob got her settled into bed with a pillow tucked against her belly. He set his glasses on the nightstand and turned off the lamp. And then he climbed in behind her as the big spoon and kissed the engagement ring she was wearing. 

"You wanna talk about baby names?" he asked, rubbing his hand along her side, because he knew it would make her sleepy.

"I only like a handful of names," she replied, and Bob could hear the pout in her voice even though the room was dark. 

"Come on, Mo. Literally anything except Everett. Your sister will never forgive you."

"Yeah, but my nephew will think it's funny, and that's almost enough motivation for me to do it."

Bob groaned. "What's your second favorite name?"

It took Molly a few moments, but eventually she said, "I want to name him after you."

"Robert Junior?" he said, already shaking his head. "RJ?" He didn't like it at all.

"No. Your middle name. We can call him Charlie," she mumbled, obviously dozing off.

Now Bob smiled as he kissed his sleeping fiancee on the shoulder. "Charlie Floyd."

-----------------------------

Since it wasn't a leap year, Molly knew Bob wasn't really getting a birthday. "Still only eight years old," she told him on February twenty eighth. She was straddling his lap on the couch, but her belly was fucking enormous now and always in the way. He didn't seem to mind though as he gently held her and cradled her and the baby. She kissed down his cheek until she got to his lips. "You look terrible for your age."

Bob burst out laughing. "Thanks, Honey. Hoping the kid gets your genetics."

"Call him by his name," she whispered. 

"Charlie," Bob said with a smile. There was no room left for Charlie to move around too much, but he always seemed to know when Bob was nearby. He was currently squirming so much, Molly was getting heartburn. 

"He just wants his daddy all the time," she said, running her hands slowly over Bob's chest. "I want his daddy all the time, too."

"Yeah?" Bob asked cautiously. It was really difficult to fuck now. Molly was always uncomfortable. But she knew Bob was never going to rush her. So they spent about five minutes getting her propped up on the couch with throw pillows.

"This is a lot of work for you to get some birthday sex, Bobby," she crooned as his erection bumped her repeatedly in the leg while he made sure she was comfortable. 

"It's worth it," he replied as he sank into her warm pussy.

"Oh, yeah... definitely worth it," she agreed, rocking back gently to meet his slow thrusts. It was unhurried and perfect, and Bob's big hands wrapped around to her belly made her feel safe. 

But later that evening, she knew she had to do something she really didn't want to do. "Bob, it's time," she said solemnly as she stood with her jewelry box in both hands. 

"I understand," he whispered, taking it from her and sitting down on their bed. He sighed sadly and watched her pull her shirt over her head followed by her sports bra. And then the pretty Mrs. Floyd piercings had to come out. She almost laughed at the sad look on his face as she put them in her jewelry box and closed the lid.

"They'll be back. I promise."

"I know," he whispered, kissing along both of her breasts and nuzzling her with his nose. She felt like she looked all swollen and misshapen, but he didn't seem to mind as he kissed her everywhere.

-------------------------

"You can't be serious right now," Molly groaned the following night as she nibbled on some pizza. Everyone was out for Bob's fake birthday at the usual restaurant. "You're going to Disney World? Without me?!" she asked Everett.

Bob tried not to laugh as his soon to be nephew looked genuinely upset. "Mom, can we bring Aunt Molly with us?" he whispered.

But Molly just laughed and kissed him. "No, this vacation is for you and your parents. Besides, the baby will be too young this summer. I'll come next time."

"How much longer until the baby comes?" Everett asked her looking at her belly hopefully. "This is taking forever."

"Hopefully just a few more days," Bob supplied, offering Molly more pizza. But she hadn't even finished one slice yet, just sipping some apple juice instead. 

"No," she told him. "I don't feel great today."

Then Bob noticed the ridiculous grin on Everett's face where he sat perched on Bradley's lap. "I got a new dad. I'm getting my very own cousin, and even an Uncle Bob!"

"You're living your best life, my man," Molly told him. "It's like you planned this all out."

But she really didn't look comfortable at all, and Bob knew she was struggling with fatigue now. So he kissed her cheek, insisted on paying for dinner, and started to herd everyone outside. As soon as he opened the passenger side door of his truck and tried to help her in, she started shaking her head. 

"I'm going to throw up," she insisted and started heading for some of the shrubs along the side of the parking lot. "Oh. Oh no."

But she didn't throw up. Her water broke. Bob froze as Molly turned to look at him as she started crying. "I just peed," she whispered.

Then his adrenaline kicked in fully, and he closed the distance to her. "Honey, I think your water broke," he said gently, and she gasped, panic all over her face.

"No," she said, shaking her head more. "I'm not ready."

"I don't think we have much choice," he told her carefully as he guided her back to the truck. Her sister had already left with Bradley and Everett, so he would have to call them once they got to the hospital. But he needed to focus on this first, because Molly was starting to lose it.

"I can't do this. I can't!" she nearly screamed, fighting him as he tried to get her into the truck. Her pink leggings were all wet, and she was scrambling in every direction seemingly at the same time. "I don't want to," she informed him, eyes wide and unsure. 

"I'll be with you the whole time," he whispered, kissing her cheek. He was over prepared. He knew that. But he'd been sending Molly around everywhere with her hospital bag which he had packed for her, and it was currently tucked behind the driver's seat. She was as ready as she was going to be whether she wanted to admit it or not. 

Once he was finally pulling out of the parking lot with Molly successfully buckled in, Bob felt the panic as well, but he tried to keep his cool. Then suddenly Molly clutched at her belly and loudly groaned, "Shit."

"What?!"

"Is that a contraction?" she asked, gripping at the door handle. "Shit! Fucking hurts!"

When they finally got to the hospital, things had gotten worse. He took her in through the emergency room since that was where she worked. Everyone ran out to watch Bob wheel her inside in a wheelchair. She was gripping the arms and looking back up at him like he was absolutely ruining her day by bringing her here. 

"Molly's here!" one of her coworkers yelled.

Molly responded by crying and shouting, "Fuck!" But nobody seemed to think this was unexpected. They just helped Bob along to the elevator and opened all of the necessary doors to get her to the labor and delivery area.

"Thanks," he told them as another nurse let him know he could take Molly into room two. There were new mothers and nurses pushing bassinets around. It was serene. Peaceful. Really one of the loveliest things Bob had ever seen. And he was currently interrupting it by pushing Molly through as she moaned the f-word so loud and so long that nearly everyone was turning to look. 

"It's okay, Honey," he promised as he got her into room number two. 

"No, Bob!" she shouted. "It is fucking not okay! I feel like I pissed myself. I look like I pissed myself. And Charlie fucking hates me, because it hurts so much!"

She was doubled over, holding her belly. The pain on her face as she had a contraction made Bob reach for her instantly. A tear slid down her cheek, and she whimpered. And then the obscenities flowed. 

Bob tried to apologize to all of the nurses as Molly called them 'fucking assfucks', but they didn't seem to mind at all. He did however close the door as her contractions got closer together.

Hours later, after he had called his mom and Molly's sister and told them what was going on, Bob was exhausted. But he knew Molly was much worse off in that department. She was soaked with sweat and was currently glaring at him. 

"I hope you're happy, Bob," she growled, eyes flashing. "Your monster cock did this to me. Lulled me into a false sense of sexual bliss. And then your filthy mega sperm took over, and finished the job."

She looked like she wanted to hurt him, and he had to try very hard not to laugh as he held her hand. "I'm sorry, Mo. I'll never do it again," he promised.

Then she started crying. "You'll never fuck me again?"

"That's not what I meant!" he said quickly, but she was already in tears. And she said the word 'cuntbag' so many times in a row while she pushed that he lost count. 

"I see the baby," the doctor finally announced after what seemed like days. 

"Get it out! Get it fucking out!" Molly screamed, and Bob felt like screaming too. She had such a tight grip on his fingers, he was sure she cracked some bones. 

But when she looked at him, clearly scared, he kissed her sweaty forehead and told her he had never been more impressed by anyone in his entire life. And it was the truth. She looked like she was on the verge of passing out when the doctor announced that it was in fact a boy and gave the time of birth. After Charlie was measured and weighed, one of the nurses placed him in Molly's arms. 

"I don't know what to do," she whispered, carefully holding him against her chest with one arm and stroking his cheek with her fingers. "I don't know what to do." But her gaze was transfixed on their son, and her lips were softly parted in wonder. Bob could already tell that Charlie was the perfect baby. Little puckered lips and eyes that were fighting to stay open against the bright overhead lights. 

"Oh my god," Bob whispered, leaning down to kiss his son. "Molly. He's actually perfect."

Her fingers stroked along his soft skin while Bob held onto one tiny fist. "He actually is."

---------------------------

The only problem with the next few months was that they flew by. All of Bob's aviator friends had covered the pickup truck in yellow and black BABY ON BOARD signs the day they took Charlie home from the hospital. Molly thought it was hilarious, but Bob grumbled as he removed all of them. 

To Molly's extreme annoyance, Charlie seemed to prefer Bradley over all of their other visitors. Everett was overjoyed every time he got to sit with the baby, and her sister was already helping Molly with literally everything under the sun. But it was Bradley who was able to calm Charlie down and get him to fall asleep on his chest. 

"I'm the baby whisperer," he informed everyone every time he had the opportunity. 

"You're Uncle Turd," Molly told him, but Bradley just smiled at her. She couldn't be too mean, because she needed his help. He was the one who was supposed to be distracting Bob for an entire day while Molly got her wedding gift for him finished. 

She wasn't sure what the two men were going to do after the batting cages, but Molly didn't really care. She had approximately seven hours from the time she dropped Charlie off with her sister to the time she had to be back home. The wedding was in a week, the bodice of her dress was sheer lace, and she wanted the tattoo to be perfect. 

After she told her tattoo artist the exact placement she wanted and the colors to use, she sat back in the chair in her bra with her arm over her head. Molly looked down at the stretch marks on her still puffy belly. Instead of talking to Charlie there every night, Bob sat in the nursery for fifteen minutes and chatted while he rocked him to sleep. And then he did any number of sweet or dirty things to her before they fell asleep together for a few precious hours until the baby woke them up. 

But Bob never once made her feel like her weird looking belly was an issue for him. And when she brought it up one night with tears threatening behind her eyes, he told her she was more beautiful than anything he could have ever dreamed up. And Bob never lied. 

"All finished," the artist said, wiping along her skin with a towel one last time and handing her a mirror. 

A big, bold violet. A beautiful, blooming daffodil. And even a small pink rosebud. Bob, Charlie and Bradley. "Looks great."

----------------------------

As soon as Molly showed Bob her tattoo, he wrapped her up in his arms. "Gorgeous, Honey," he said, kissing her before examining it a little closer. He ran his fingers along the colorful carnations that were there for her mom and dad, and when he got to the daffodil that she got for Charlier, his fingers froze. There was a small gap between his flower and their son's flower, and when he looked up at Molly she was smiling. "Is it finished now?" he asked cautiously. 

She just shrugged. "I'm not sure yet."

Bob would never pressure her to have another child with him. He hadn't really expected to get this lucky in life, let alone feel bold enough to hope for anything more. But that little gap gave him butterflies. Charlie was the sweetest baby in the world, and Bob was obsessed with being a dad. It was his favorite thing. And he wouldn't hesitate to list the condo and find a bigger place if Molly wanted to do this all over again. "You just let me know."

"I will, Coach Cute Daddy."

Bob held her close, knowing they needed to get ready for bed soon. Charlie was still notorious for waking them up at three in the morning to eat, even though he was four months old. Molly kept saying he would probably grow out of it soon, but Bob figured his son loved them so much, he wanted them in the nursery with him. 

"Are you ready for Saturday?" he asked, taking his glasses off as Molly climbed into bed.

"Are you asking if I'm ready for the dream wedding that I've spent months planning out? Then yes, I'm ready. All you have to do is show up with the baby, agree to marry me, kiss me, and fuck me. Not all in the wildflower meadow."

Bob kissed along her shoulder as she fell asleep. Molly made him laugh more than he ever had before. And Charlie made him smile more than he ever had before. And by Saturday evening, he'd be married. 

----------------------

"I can't believe my wild child of a baby sister is getting married today."

Molly sighed contentedly and said, "To Bob Floyd. The sweet, shy man of my dreams."

Her sister laughed and added, "I don't think Bob was planning on anything like you happening to him."

Molly scoffed as she picked up her bouquet made entirely of gas station flowers. "Anything like me? You mean getting his world rocked and having a kid after being together less than a year? He's lucky."

"He is," she agreed, kissing Molly's cheek. "Now please explain to me why you are getting married with these cheap flowers when there's literally an entire meadow of multicolored poppies and zinnias growing outside?"

Molly pressed her nose to them. "Because Bob picked them up for me last night, and they're my favorite. The other flowers can learn some respect."

"If you say so," she replied, taking Molly by the hand. "As soon as I can give you away, you are one hundred percent Bob's problem." But she was holding tight to Molly's hand, and it sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

Molly walked outside with her sister and started down the grassy path toward the spot where Bob was holding Charlie in the distance. "I will never stop being your problem. And Bradley's problem by proximity."

"Good," her sister whispered, and Molly smiled at her as she cried a little bit. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

And then they walked toward the setting sun past the most beautiful shades of orange, green and yellow Molly could imagine. And it probably wasn't like other weddings, but the best ones weren't. 

They stopped so Molly could give hugs and kisses to Bob's parents and the rest of his family. And they stopped so she could get a kiss on the forehead from Bradley. "Love you, turd," she whispered. 

"Hey," he said in his raspy voice as she kissed Everett. "You owe me forever for agreeing to coach tee ball with Bob."

"And you owe me forever for letting you marry my sister," she replied easily.

He just nodded thoughtfully. "You're right. We're square."

Molly was laughing as she handed her gas station flowers off to Nat with a hug, and then she was standing in front of Bob and Charlie. 

"Hey, Honey," Bob whispered as she took Charlie from his hands so she could hold him for a bit while he napped. She kissed his soft chubby cheek, and his eyes fluttered open before closing again. 

Then she met Bob's greenish blue eyes, and he was looking at her like that very first day at tee ball, over a year ago. Like he couldn't believe she was giving him the time of day. She took a step closer to him, and said, "Hey, Coach Cute Glasses. Did you remember your allergy pills?"

"A double dose," he promised. "You ready to marry me?"

"Yes."

Molly held Charlie, and Bob wrapped his strong arm around her waist as they turned toward the sunset. The wedding was short, led by John who married her sister and Bradley last September. And as Molly closed her eyes and kissed Bob at the end of the ceremony, the warmth of the summer evening and the scent of wildflowers washed over her. 

The soft nudge of Bob's glasses against her cheek and the way he helped cradle Charlie had Molly leaning in for another kiss. Maybe it would be just the three of them, maybe not. But Molly wanted to take her family on every adventure with her.

"I love you, Cowboy Bob."

Bob smiled and kissed her softly before pressing his lip to Charlie's forehead. "I love you both."

----------------------------

Ahhhh! Thanks for joining Molly, Bob and CHARLIE on this little adventure! I'm sure they will have so many more together. You can always peep more details about them if you read Batting Practice (and maybe some future one-shots)! Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls and everyone who bugged me to make Molly and Bob a thing.

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[ronearoundblindly]

I N R

For either Ransom or Jake

- 👜 (because I couldn't help myself 😘)

From this ask game.

Eeeeeeee, Jakey! I haven't gotten to think about Jake Jensen in a while. Yay!! Horny little bastard...

These are called 'dirty asks' for a reason, so MINORS DNI, please.

I - Impact Play

My gut feeling is that Jake talks a good game with toys and the like, but he's a real skin-to-skin man. I bet he's fine with spanking (although I guarantee you have to say the words "you can go harder" at some point 🙄), and after a whole lot of reassurances he might be fine with a slap or something. I don't see him getting much enjoyment out of using a tool (crop, whip, flogger, etc) though.

However, he would be open to them being used on him--just don't expect him to keep a straight face or not erupt into giggles while running away. That shit he would find plain hysterical. Spank that boy once, he will laugh for a thousand years... 🤣 bless.

N - Not Yet

He has an absolute love-hate relationship with control. Boy has pure switch energy, if you know what I mean, so while I don't see him having preference to delay or deny the natural flow of sex--do what feels good, babe, he's down--there might be times it feels appropriate. Like if he knows you two have unlimited time together, he will prolong activities as best he can. I will say, this dude enjoys the hell out of making you come; that's a whole ego boost thing. He is not likely to stop you...he'll just make you come again if necessary.

Interestingly enough, Jake may not have any desire to order you around in bed, but he fucking loves attempting to order you around the house. He playfully insists you not snack because he wants you to be hungry for the dinner he's taking you out to, or he doesn't want you to get off his lap yet or stop cuddling on the couch, so, nope, you'll have to hold it. No bathroom break. Sorry.

That's a two-way street though because he's fine being reminded/told the same things.

R - Routine

Without fail, if you try to schedule sexy times with Jake Jensen, that mother fucker wants to nap instead.

He cannot ever preemptively be told when to perform. Just complete shit at it. What a fucking loser in this area. Spontaneous or it ain't happening.

But--BUT!--that doesn't mean you can't secretly decide that it's gonna happen at a certain time; he just can't know that it's planned. You gotta seduce him. He likes to be seduced. He loves for it to seem like there's a bunch of other things he should be doing but instead you just really need him right now. Gah, does he love that.

Don't ever goddamn put it on a calendar or something though. Then you're not fucked. The calendar is for chores, and if that man feels like a chore?? No boners for you. Uh-uh.

And before you ask, yes, he has actually gotten visibly upset by being 'penciled in' for sex. Whole argument. Cold-shoulder silent treatment for the night. Slept on the couch. Upset. He didn't cry, but his face got super red and he kept taking off his glasses to pinch his eyes.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

🤣💀🥰

[frenchgirlocean]

wanna listen to your hands soothe

hatchetfield; original work

—  lorelai bowman & lance swohn (gen)

fluff ⋆ sickfic ⋆ comfort no hurt

(542 words)

for @wetcatschwartzy <3

Lance takes one short look at Lorelai as she throws the backpack on the floor next to the dinner table in his living room, and it tells him all he needs to know. 

“You’re not sick again, are you?”

Lorelai blinks at him for a few moments, bleary and tired, and Lance is half–convinced that he’ll need to spring out of his seat and catch her in the next few seconds when Lorelai clears her throat and shakes her head.

“Absolutely fuckin’ not.” She says, and then contradicts herself in the worst way by almost sneezing her brains out. Right into her elbow, and Lance gets brutally reminded to never borrow any of her clothes again, no matter how comfy they are. “Where did you get that idea from?”

“... No reason.” He lies through his teeth, and watches Lorelai struggle with the zipper of her backpack. “Maybe you want to lay down?”

“I’m not a baby, Lancelot, I don’t need a—” an absolutely monstrous sneeze, “nap.”

“Yeah.” 

Lorelai sneezes, then yawns, and then barks out a strange combination of another yawn mixed with a cough. She almost slumps over his dinner table, but hauls herself up once again to dive into her backpack, looking like a ragdoll being thrown around with telepathy.

“Maybe—” He puts one hand on her bare arm, and Lorelai hisses. Like a wild cat with rabies.

“Jesus, Lance! Give a girl a warning before you come with your freaky cold hand, will you?”

Lance opens his mouth to defend himself, what the hell, Lorelai. Then he remembers that trying to fight with a sick Lorelai is absolutely useless, and resumes his work to straight up pick her up from the chair and put her on the nearest flat, comfy surface.

“Wha—” She blinks, but once her head hits Lance’s covered collarbone, all signs of consciousness disappear. Her cheek rests on his shoulder, smacked like she’s already fallen asleep, and he only knows that she’s awake by her pattern of breathing — too fast for usual asleep–Lorelai speed. Otherwise, she’s completely limp, snoring through her clogged nose, and Lance already tenses up knowing how bad her colds can get.

He sets her down on his bed as gently as he possibly can, but she still stirs when he tears her already–sweaty face off his sweater. 

Lorelai stares at him with wide, dark eyes for a few moments before he awkwardly rattles off, 

“Do you need something?”

Her nose scrunches up, and she yawns again, curling up in his goddamn Arthur and the Invisibles blanket. 

“Nah.” She pulls the corner of the blanket higher, up to her face, but opens her eyes again. The way she looks reminds Lance of when they were younger, maybe in elementary school, and his mom would let her stay over for weeks when her dad worked across the country just to keep them afloat. “Actually, can y’do your work here?”

Oh. Of course. 

(He’d run to the end of Earth for her.)

“Sure thing.”

Lorelai snorts through the phlegm in her throat. “St’p talkin’ like my dad.” 

“Oh, screw you too.” He says with a bite of a smile in his voice, and when he leaves the room to collect his homework, he swears he can hear Lorelai grumbling affectionately, something about her father and him being the same person in different fonts.

He’d give his life up for her. Blanket, bed, free time and probably his own health aren’t that much.

[stonegolem]

tonight i was Food Crimed by my favorite local taco place. in a good way, but STILL. the crime is this. i wanted a burrito and a lil extra. maybe like one additional taco or some chips and salsa

but i saw that for just six dollars more, a mere 50% increase in price, i could have the Monster Burrito. i have had Monster Burritos before from other restaurants in the past. i was expecting this to be an Overeating Indulgence. i was anticipating a big ol' burrito made with two burrito shells layered on top of each other, so i could have a big ol foot long burrito and take a big burrito nap afterward.

what they did to me instead was send me a five pound burrito the size of a grocery store bread loaf.

y'all, this is not a reasonable amount of food for eighteen dollars. this is barely even a burrito - it's definitely food wrapped in a tortilla, but one does anticipate being able to BITE a burrito. this is unbiteable. in order to consume this like a human i have cut off the end quarter with a knife and poured it into a bowl.

please observe that that is three quarters of the Monster Burrito and one entirely goddamn full bowl of burrito carcass. the upside is that it's delicious. the chicken is stewed and so tender, the fillings are fresh, the salsa is spicy, the cheese to rice ratio is ideal. the downside is that i hate leftovers. i did not enter into this covenant willingly. i asked for a gently more burrito so i could gently more enjoy my dinner. what i received instead was a Family Curse. I have THREE MORE BURRITO BOWLS to go.

[chvoswxtch]

Miss ma’am could I have an old fashion with Mr. Castle?👀

Creators choice, go wild my love <3

my fiesty little phoenix,

you can have whatever you'd like. thank you for letting me run wild with this one. I hope you enjoy. <3

headcannon below the cut

frank castle finally takes a goddamn day off

i personally think it's criminal we never got a single scene of what frank likes to do in his free time, so i'm taking it upon myself to make y'all feed into my delusions of what that would look like, because the man deserves a day of fucking peace, so let's give it to him

frank is an early riser. after years in the military, his body is just trained to wake up at a certain time, and no matter how much he wants to sleep in, he just can't

i'd like to think frank sleepily pads through his place, makes himself a strong brew of coffee, and goes outside to watch the sunrise. i think he would enjoy the peace, when it's early in the morning and everything is super still and quiet, and he just gets to exist for a little while, slowly let his body and mind wake up as he takes in the tranquil colors of the sunrise

maybe he'd make himself a nice lil breakfast. he strikes me as a bacon guy, so whatever he makes, just know there's bacon. he likes the applewood smoked thick cuts. don't ask me to explain, i can't. it's just something my soul knows

we saw that frank likes to read, so maybe he spends some of the morning working through a new book. he strikes me as someone that secretly loves murder mysteries, and mysteries in general. i'd like to think he gets really into them and really excited when he figures out the mystery before he reaches the end

"fuckin' knew it was the goddamn maid!"

frank also strikes me as a handyman, and i'd like to think he enjoys little projects. maybe he spends part of the afternoon giving his truck a tune up while listening to classic rock in the garage with a few beers (he's a classic rock guy, don't @ me. y'all saw how excited he got about those bruce springsteen tickets) maybe he's finally putting together some new furniture he got, or even building some new furniture bc he can fucking do anything. maybe he's repainting the spare bedroom bc the white walls were boring and frank's secret guilty pleasures are cooking and home makeover shows

in a perfect world, frank has a dog (it's definitely a sweet, beautiful pitbull) so maybe they go on a little walk together on a nice trail or maybe they go to the doggy park so they can play and when they come back they take a lil nap on the couch together bc it's fucking cute and they're sleepy so why the hell not

i'd also like to think that when the evening rolls around, frank goes to socialize bc the thought of him being lonely breaks my heart in ways i can't explain

maybe he goes over to the lieberman's for dinner and helps sarah cook, teaches david how to fix the sink that's broken in their guest bathroom, plays catch with zach out in the backyard, helps leo with a book report she's writing, and passes out with the kids on the couch twenty minutes into a movie they picked out

or maybe he goes out with curtis to a bar to have a few drinks, gets talked into (and drunk enough) to bust some moves out on the dance floor, giggles with curtis as they drunkenly stumble together to the closest twenty-four hour pizza joint, and ends up having a sleepover with him bc his apartment is closer and the pizza and booze made him sleepy

bonus points if curt doesn't make him take the couch and they just share his bed bc they're drunk and also brothers who cares (you're telling me all that time in the military together and there wasn't a "there's only one bed" situation? sorry, I can't suspend reality that much)

extra bonus points if he goes out with matt, karen, and foggy to josie's and is the only one that can keep up with matt in pool

"can't believe y'all let this bastard cheat you like this. this how you treat your friends, red? hustlin' 'em for free drinks? you're the worst goddamn catholic I ever met."

extra extra bonus points if foggy challenges him to a shot contest but then gets so drunk that frank has to carry him home over his shoulder and karen gets several pictures and videos and matt can't stop cackling

extra extra extra bonus points if he's having to carry matt AND foggy home drunk over his shoulder (bc he could) and karen is still being the absolute mvp getting so many pictures and videos while giggling

i just want this man to have a good fucking day that's all, thank you for coming to my ted talk

[spaceprincessem]

for what it’s worth | 9.6k buddie fic | ao3 link

[or Buck and Ana get trapped in an elevator together. They have some conversations about life, the shooting, and Eddie]

He smiles down at the waiting message from Eddie asking about what kind of food they should order when he gets off shift later tonight. Christopher is going out to the movies with friends which means they get a child-free night eating their favorite take-out before Hen and Karen come over to play cards. He wants to go home, take a steaming shower, and crawl into Eddie’s bed for a well deserved nap. Carla helped him change the sheets before she took Christopher to school and the new throw blanket Maddie got him is calling his name. 

He manages to step through the elevator doors before they close, his fingers rapidly ranking his dinner options to Eddie (which he knows will get a fond eye roll from his best friend) and he doesn’t even register that there’s another person in the small space with him until they ask “What floor?”

Buck’s head snaps up so quickly the sound of air popping between his joints is a little deafening. The other person seems to realize the same thing at the same time he does, her doe brown eyes going almost comically wide as they lock onto his bright blue ones.

“Ana?” Buck asks, hoping, praying, his mouth is not gaping open like a fish. 

He’s tempted to rub his eyes, make sure he isn’t suffering from some weird post therapy hallucination or fever dream, but he thinks that would be rude so he stays frozen, like a deer in headlights (which, honestly, not better). She appears to be just as shocked to see him and while they never dated it sure as hell feels like running into an ex-something. She looks pretty, Buck thinks as he looks over her floral sundress and perfectly styled messy bun. Meanwhile he’s in sweatpants, an old LAFD hoodie he really hopes doesn’t say Diaz on the back, and like he’s been through the goddamn wringer (sure fucking feels like he has).

“Buck—” she says in that way she always has; with particular emphasis on the K.  

And that’s all either of them really have time for as the elevator doors ding shut and the entire building starts to shake with what must be a decently sized earthquake.

read the rest on ao3

tagging the besties who have showed interest @alyxmastershipper @shortsighted-owl @sibylsleaves @spotsandsocks @elvensorceress @colonoscopys @buddierights @crashlaanding @babytrapperdiaz @loveyourownsmiilee @octobertulip @mumucow @ajunerose @swiftiebuckleys @monsterrae1 sorry if i missed anyone!

[dailyautophagy]

I have off tomorrowwwwwwwsa

we all do probably but

it doesn’t feel like Saturday to me

I’m a big fan of that lol

I don’t have a ramble in me but imma force one out because

This Tom papa special is pretty good but i don’t wanna give my undivided attention to it

He is making jokes about food influencing your behavior and mood and I know he makes his own bread cause I listen to him on podcasts lol and he is just good at his job and doesn’t preach to people he just does good jokes that might make people think twice before eating a bag of cool ranch Doritos because a while after you want to kill yourself a lil

I think I typed that 5 hours ago and then i came back to this to ramble more and then tumblr did a crash and it didn’t save the rambles after this ramble (sad, because decent lol)

there are four married men at my work that go out of their way to be nice to me and like not other people and just

why

i mean know why (and no I ain’t gonna touch it) but like why do they think that’s okay lol are they just being nice out of pity

I know it is not ideal to be aware of motivation existing for every and all things but like it does and therefore no these people are not just being nice to be nice there is a reason

There’s always a reason for everything even if it’s not a good one or

Like I don’t know the reason we evolved brains that are painfully aware of our imminent death but I know there IS ONE lol

I know a lot of the reasons for things now, health issue things, sadnesses and such

Don’t pretend being depressed is just part of life and it won’t be / I think therefore I am / if you say you can you will & if you say you can’t you’re right /

You get it

I am tired

I want to cum

I need to drink water

We’re all the same really lol

The thing about ants not tryna leave the boundaries when someone draws circles around them and then showing all the BORDERS OF COUNTRIES like I get it lol but we need them at this point because without them the places that suck will trickle into the places that are nice - if we had started with no borders everyone would be the same maybe lol or dead

I know nothing John snow don’t fucking listen to me

You can actually :/ i do know a lot of things and it’s not like hidden secret knowledge it’s just not ever addressed lol because guess what’s easier? Popping pills

I don’t like that about the world

It card to find someone without a prescription lol even I smoke weed ffs that kinda counts plant or not

The only person raw dawging life is ….no one.

Find me someone not drinking caffeine and not prescribed anything. I thought did but he sneaks cans of Coca Cola and has prescriptions now (cause he didn’t take care of his damn body)

AND NOW IT IS 3AM

It’s three am I must be lonelyyyy

No it’s actually 411 according the the fucking alarm clock this asshole downstairs is sleeping through lol it’s set for 405 so even I didn’t hear it for a whole 6 minutes .. but I’m not IN THAT ROOM LIKE HE IS. Idk how people sleep through loud noises like that lol DRUGS?!?

I mean dude makes almost 1000 a week and I take 300 because life is expensive and this isn’t a goddamn homeless shelter but he’s somehow always poor lol which like how - I’m buying the groceries

Which I forgot I said if I had to pay for them I wasn’t going to be also preparing all his meals like you want a slave you gotta stock my shit lol

But last night he was napping (last night aka like 5pm yesterday) so I went in the kitchen WHERE I BELONG to make dinner and put dishes away and I made rice (which just requires patience like you gotta wash the rice and then let it boil - I do a cup of rice almost 2 TBSP of oil and 1/2 tsp salt and 1.75 C water and I hate American measurements lol I think that was one way they tried to fuck up our ability to use food as medicine. Cause back in the Florence nightingale time (and location) they had recipes we prolly never even heard of. Remedies and recipes

I get so mad now when people don’t understand that our own body is responsible for our own healing and you just gotta it the right conditions lol like definitely SET broken bones and definitely antibiotics have saved lives but MOST things most illnesses and even most diseases are within our realm of fixing. You don’t need doctors. We didn’t evolve from cavemen because doctors existed. I’d venture to argue that doctors now do more harm than good. Granted we are not taught the things or given the tools to know how to fix ourselves lol but like the truth is out there man lol

Seriously though I wish I found Barbara O’Neill when I was in school. I graduated highschool in 2008 and dropped out of college after people started dying from pills and getting their drugs laced with fentanyl lol but alas my career didn’t require it.. despite everyone else I work with having a college degree.. So LOL at them.

I’d be in legitimate debt instead of just bad at money

Also I swear to fucking god these assholes are going to make me take my days off around Christmas so I don’t get all the OT again lol

Trust me, your omnipotent creator doesn’t get offended by words, and since I’m not a believer like that I’m not actually using the lords name in vain or whatever the fuck …. Wait yes I am because I am using it in an empty or meaningless way … I always thought it meant thinking like “this is gods fault” and being so disappointed by god you then curse him

I don’t know

Spiritual, yes. Religious, no. Religion is responsible for all the wars. And those imaginary lines we decided were worth killing people over. I mean now it’s too late the lines are necessary because some countries are shit holes and some are not but maybe if we had never segregated ourselves we wouldn’t be so different from eachother but TOO LATE what’s done is done and now I don’t want people imported from other hemispheres and TBH neither do their gut biomes you’re supposed to eat the food indigenous to your area lol that’s why I can fuck with everything apples forever like I wasn’t raised on milk I was raised on apple cider lol AND IVE NEVER BROKEN A BONE I’ve really fucked up my elbows and tailbone but nothing to my knowledge ever broke perhaps teeny tiny fractures and for sure bruises but never casts never snaps 🤞 I hope I hope I hope the universe never makes me / I never do anything to warrant that karma lol my brain is the mob btw if I disrespect the order of the world instant karma and thus far it (my karma) has been eerily accurate

If I’m mean or do a rude thing, something bad happens to me lol usually nothing too serious but low key (so low key I would never actually say this to humans esp my sister) but I think my XL abortion is why I don’t have parents - which I know is like not how cancer works lol I know they grew that shit over so many years and it was a direct result of their lifestyle / dietary choices - but yet I still feel that(low key) if I had had that baby they would not be dead.

And that’s a weird way to feel.

But I don’t think there’s anything after this lol because I think energy gets recycled but not SOULS or whatever makes us have a spark of electricity in every cell. Salt water I guess lol shits crazy

There’s so many layers to health and once you realize the building blocks matter

Like do people not liken it to gas grades and cars

Put premium in your body it is worth it and ultimately over time regular will fuck up the engine

Our body our cells our mf dna is made up of what we eat lol well it’s actually nucleotides but NUTRITION AFFECTS HOW WE MAKE NUCLEOTIDES and therefore our dna BUT we cannot change our chromosomes and we cannot fully detox from an mRNA vaccine lol

I should go back to sleep lol

I want to brag about famous people living near me and being on my ro…can’t even say that lol as I don’t wanna dox myself or career

If you know my job don’t fucking tell people please lol they don’t need to know

Suffice it to say that I only own a home because my parents are dead and not because my career is a real money maker lol but

See can’t even brag about the benefits without basically doxing

Doxing is a such a faggot word lol

And concept tbh like mind your business troll

I hope every human responsible for the squirrel euthanized in NEW YORK okay caps gets mugged Or assaulted Or like some not death but like a physically painful thing happen to them because what the fuck is wrong with you lol you did this because you were “concerned”? Well now it’s dead, are you happy? Nothing to be “concerned” about. Fucking disgusting. And obviously voting for Kamala so like

The type of people who are voting blue blindly are the type of people who can’t mind their own business and need the tv to tell them what to believe

Also imagine setting a ballot box on fire and genuinely believing you’re on the right side of history

You don’t have to like trump personally but you do have to respect the fact that millions of us do and we literally elected him to be a presidential candidate despite the television programming everyone to hate him - we don’t watch news lol maybe someone watch fox but like I do think most of us don’t even have cable anymore like

Now tis 6am and I am still not back asleep lol but it’s not dark anymore so I might have to stay awake

I love my nails and I’m so grateful for the glass files the pretty blonde one told me about (I mean I think I knew they existed but I didn’t use them lol) and my nails like so useful so strong so GOOD FOR PICKING MY FACE which is BAD lol I can’t not pick my face I hate this for me

Like I’m probably better off touching my phone cause then I’m not picking my face lol but being perpetually on tumblr feels like not a good thing but also it is the best way to not spend money lol not shopping online OR FIND US IN THE APP or whatever something about capital letters in advertising always made me feel like a robot was yelling at me

Rumble is the best way to watch Barbara I always just listened on SoundCloud whilst at work but the viewing of her and the white board is a much different experience lol not hugely better but a little better

Seinfeld and laying with bobo

Bison steaks!!! I forgot they are amazing and ground bison burgers are kind of not lol so just be aware

I think they’re less fucked with than cows but it’s possible that’s just wishful thinking

End ramble heavy eye shallow breaths maybe i will see you inn the dream world WHO WHO WHO WHO what are you an owl lol sometimes i want to say things just

To be able to make a joke after

And sometimes

I can’t stop wanting

To fix my teeth they are not okay on the bottom like I’m gorgeous my smile is gorgeous but if I talk you can see the bottom teeth are not good and i want it fixed i want it fixed i bought the things to fix them one time and then i did not do it i just used the ugh no doxing me it was like I didn’t truly feel I paid for the jawns?? I assume that’s why i had the gall to waste almost 2k like that

They are useless at this point like my teeth didn’t just go back to how they were before that would be too convenient they’re a new type of screwy now

Whatever I don’t know why I’d use the same people imma prolly try… not byte lol cause I already did byte

But I don’t want one I gotta go to dentist for ever like if I was willing to sit in those chairs and breath those gross airs every month 🤷‍♀️

Okay lay down sleepy lol

[k-nayee]

Cutie Patootie

wc: 4.6k

Dreamer M.List

ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ

'𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 day...another dollar.'

You snort at the thought. "Ha, wish it was like that. Can barely get a damn penny when dealing in this type of life."

The sound of your footsteps echoes around the stairwell as you slowly make your way up the stairs of the apartment building you lived in.

You struggled to pick your feet up, each one weighing a ton as your dull bloodshot eyes struggled to stay open with only the promise of a nap urging you on.

The thought of having to do another twelve-hour shift at the dinner tomorrow nearly made you want to fall to the ground and weep.

'I should've just kept my ass in America. At least I wouldn't be struggling as much as I am right now.'

"Why the hell there isn't an elevator up in this bitch?!" You nearly scream out in anger only for the reply to be an echo that softens every passing second.

Head shaking in exhaustion, you continue on your trek to the fifth floor.

A breath of relief escapes you when catching sight of the poster labeled with a rusty number five. The creaky groans of the un-oiled door fill your ears as you push it open with a heave.

'Wait a minute...' You still your breathing in anticipation for the high squeaks only to hear silence. '...no rats chasing me this time?'

"Well okay then!" With a pep in your step, you continue on your merry way with a happy smile.

It was until you reached your designated door when it fell. You stop your movements, apartment keys dangling halfway out of your apron as you analyze the pink slip before you.

"What?"

Ripping the paper off the door, you frantically look at big bolded letters with dread.

"Nononono! An eviction! Where the hell was this a month ago?! How the hell did I even get one in the first place?!"

Your eyes widen, quickly getting ahold of the keys, you unlock the door and step inside.

The door slams shut as you zoom into your room and throw the paper on the bed. Narrowed eyes glare at it as you began to pace along the carpeted floor in anxious movements.

"And eviction...think ____, think! There must be a reason for this to happen. I put my payment into the pile, so it should've been paid..."

After minutes of trying to find a solution, you finally fall into the squeaky bed in defeat. "Goddammit!"

Tears filled your eyes as you looked at the cursed sheet in sadness. "And I only have two days to move out no less...momma was right. I was getting too ahead of myself. Now look at me: A big ass failure."

'No, don't think like that! If anything you're proving to be more than that. So what if there's not a big house to your name? Or you not being able to experience and indulge in the luxurious life?'

"I know...but damn. A bitch would've liked to have it though."

'You alive ain't it? As long as you still breathing, you surviving. In the end, that's all that matters."

Weakly wiping away the leftover tears, you take consideration of your subconscious' words with a shaky breath of air. "Y-you right. Now is not the time to cry."

'You damn skippy I'm right! Now go in there, get a big ass cup of some of that Minute Maid, and think of a way to get through this.'

Your eyes widen in the realization of still having your favorite juice before sitting up with a smile. "Oh yeah, I still have the pink-lemonade one...Fuck yes!"

Walking into the kitchen with a lighter heart, you open the fridge and grab the cartoon only to stop when feeling the weight of it.

Peeking inside the container you freeze at the sight of only a good swallow left. "The fuck? I could've sworn I had half of a container in there. Unless..."

Your voice trails off when a long string of silky black hair came into view. 'Fucking Su-yeon.'

Teeth gritted in anger, you grab the nearly empty box and chuck it towards the wall in a fit of rage.

"I asked her to do one thing. One goddamn thing! Don't touch my fucking juice. Is it too much to ask?"

Having a habit to act dramatically when angry, you begin to pull out the little food left in there and throw it on the floor.

With your hand on the last object in there, you stop when the bright sticky note caught your attention.

A smirk appears at the messily scrawled message of 'Su-yeon's stuff: do not touch' sitting on the piece of paper.

"Oh? Well, would you look at that? Su-yeon's juice. But wait, she has a label on it? Of course, me being the respectful roommate I am, I'll just leave it alone...unless," slyly picking up the bottled liquid, you take off the note, "there was never a note on there to begin with. Oops?"

Unscrewing the top with a shrug, you take a swig of it causing your face to scrunch at the bittersweet aftertaste.

'Ugh, this shit's nasty! I should put it back...'

You laugh at your thoughts with a shake of your head. "Ha! I better not. Even if it tastes like shit I'll be damned if I do. Besides, revenge is what makes the flavor better."

A peaceful atmosphere surrounds you as you continue to consume the juice until half of its contents was finished. It was then the sound of the front door being slammed open which caused your eyebrows to raise.

Su-yeon was home.

"____! Come here quick!"

With the bottle still in hand, you slowly walk towards her room, little sips taken on the way there.

A shiver passes down your skin at the sight of a body-sized cut-out of a BTS member staring back at you.

Forcing the feeling of uneasiness back, you open the door to the sight of Su-yeon pinning pictures and dates to a whiteboard.

"Oh ____!" Her eyes widen with an obsessive gleam of happiness once she sees you walk into the room, "I've got something to show you~"

"Does it have something to do with making that k-pop group fall in love with you again?" You ask, cautiously staying close to the doorway.

From the first moment of meeting Su-yeon, you knew there was something off about her.

Whether it was pictures/cut-outs of the member's body parts plastered on her wall or a map that showed all of their previous whereabouts, it definitely wasn't a regular idol-fan kind of relationship.

Day and night she'd talk and gush over their features, a box filled with memorabilia of used spoons or bottled waters that she somehow obtained sat proudly on her dresser.

Claiming to be the love of her life, Su-yeon downright refused the thought of change happening amongst them.

You nearly had to call the police when she started to freak out upon the recent discovery of the maknae's hidden tattoos and talked of going up and forcing him to get them removed.

Luckily you were able to talk her out of doing so. You couldn't just let her go to jail because of it, I mean...who would be there to pay the other half of the rent if she's gone?

"I've finally made up the perfect plan to make BTS fall in love with me!" A big smile sat on her face as she walks over to the giant whiteboard decorated with miles and miles of strings and pins with dates.

"Hmm...really? Ah shit. That's what I'm talking about girl. Go get 'em," you dully feed into her talk with a gulp of juice, hoping to end the conversation as soon as possible.

"I know! I've been planning this for months, it's impossible for it not to work. Within a week, I'll be in the arms of my loves~" She twirls with a dreamy sigh, stars shining in her eyes.

"Really? Oh wow...I know you lying! How'd you do it sis."

"Well, you see...I was able to buy a potion from this old lady that promised that if I drink it, I'll be able to turn back into my child form. Not only that, but I'll be so cute that no one will ever resist me! Can you believe it?!" Turning towards you, her smile immediately drops at the sight of you rolling your eyes.

"...____?"

"This bitch right here..." With a sigh, you forced a smile and turn towards her only to freeze at her stilled form, "the hell's wrong with you?"

Su-yeon shakily lifts her hand, head twitching every few seconds. "T-that bottle in your hand...was that the one from the fridge?"

'Ha! Don't tell me she's gonna fall apart just because I'm drinking her juice?'

"Why yes. It. Is" Tauntingly lifting it to her face you take another big gulp with a sigh of content.

"NOOOO!" She lunges towards you with wild frantic eyes. You swiftly move over with a side-step in avoidance of falling.

The sound of cries and heavy thuds fill the room as you quickly drink more while dodging her tackle attempts.

"WHY?!" Su-yeon finally drops to the floor with a tear-streaked face once she saw that she's unable to catch you, "MY POTION! MY PRECIOUS POTION!"

Hearing her words, your eyes widen in shock before choking on the remaining liquid in your mouth. "The fuck you just say?"

"M-my potion was in there! You drank my potion! Do you know how much I had to do to get it?!"

You look at the girl in rage, the now-empty plastic thrown to the ground. "What is wrong with you?! Why would you put it in a juice container? Why not a goddamn bottle that had some white shit like Ecstacy or Crack labeled on it so I won't drink it?"

Your breath begins to speed up in panic, feet automatically pacing on the floor. "Oh god! What the fuck did I get myself into?! I should've just acted more mature and confronted her about my juice. But noooo! My petty ass had to do something stupid!"

You stop when a sudden thought came to mind. 'This was Su-yeon's long last dream of seeing them, and I fucked it up for her...'

Turning towards the heartbroken girl to apologize, you stop once you saw that she was nowhere in the room. "Su-yeon?"

"You ruined it..."

You jump from the raspy whisper of her voice before her hunched frame came into view.

Her body began to twitch more as she steps away from the doorway.

"Hey look, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was your-"

"SHUT UP!"

You flinch at the sudden gleam of a knife, her dark eyes staring at you with pure hatred.

"You ruined...evERYTHING! MY LIFE'S OVER BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"W-wait a minute! Let's just calm down for a moment. How do you know if it wasn't fluke huh? You're willing to kill me for something that may not even be real?" You're backed into a walk as she stalks closer to you.

Soft giggles leave her small frame, you helplessly stare at her as they begin to grow even louder and nerve-racking.

"A fluke? You really think it was a fluke?" She stops smiling with a glare. "I spent everything I had on that potion. My savings account, my parents' insurance money, hell even last month's rent. So don't tell me the potion was a fucking scam. And if it was? I was ready to risk it all."

A glare of disgust and anger sits on your face as you look into her deranged eyes. "You're fucking sick you know that? You are literally willing to ruin the lives of others just for some fucking idols? Get it together!"

More tears fall down her face, lips shaking as she takes in small gasps of air. "They are my EVERYTHING ____! If I can't have them, what's the use of living anymore?"

Su-yeon quickly wipes away the leftover tears before walking closer with the knife menacingly shinning in the light.

Tears of your own start to form once she raises the knife high over her head.

"W-wait!"

Pausing at your pleading, she looks at you with a blank face. "What?"

"What would happen when my family gets suspicious of my disappearance? You really want BTS to see their beloved fan going to jail for murder?"

The room goes silent at your words. Silent prayers fill your head in the hope of being able to change her mind.

A smile appears on her face. "You must've really believed that I'd spare you just because of some bullshit excuse. I've got nothing to lose now. So what if I'm taken away to jail? I'll happily live there knowing that the cause of my suffering is buried six-feet-under."

She raises the knife once more.

"N-no Su-yeon wait! I-"

Your words were cut off by a scream as the knife enters the side of your stomach, it intensifies when she suddenly twist the blade with a sickening smirk.

You felt as though your body was on fire from the pain. The muscles around the weapon contract in response before she rips it out.

Falling unto the floor with a thud, you curl up into a ball, blood flowing freely as it surrounds your convulsing body.

"P-please," you gaze up at her with blurred eyes, "I'm sorry. I didn't m-"

A sharp gasp escapes you when she stabs into one of your legs making it impossible for you to run out.

"Tch, so weak...and I thought you black women were supposed to be all strong and independent. But here you are, weeping for your life because of some little ole stab wounds."

You gag in pain, blood rushing up from the back of your throat to join the pool that's already there.

Drowsiness began to take over your body when the sound of her footsteps seemed to grow distant.

'I...I can't go out like this...not this way...'

With much struggle, you were finally able to pull out your phone and press the emergency contact.

The dial tone rings for a few seconds before a click sound happens.

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"

"I need...help!" you cry out as your breathing turns into wheezes of pain, "please!"

"Ma'am can you tell me what's happened?"

"I-I've been stabbed...it's...really bad. I don't...I don't think I can hold on...much longer..."

"Just stay with me ma'am, send me your address and an emergency unit will arrive shortly."

Despite your vision blurring, you were still able to make out the figure of Su-yeon as she walks back into the room.

But instead of a knife, a paperweight of what seemed to be the symbol of BTS that was held in her hands.

"I won't make it!" You choke out as more blood floods your mouth, tears fell to the floor as you awaited your inevitable fate, "please...tell my family...that I love the-"

A heavy blow was sent to your head causing your eyes to roll back. Everything seemed to fade away, darkness wrapping you up in its grip.

'So much for surviving...guess momma was right'

════════════════*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═════════════════

A huff of exhaustion leaves Su-yeon as she drags your body out of the back of her trunk.

After knocking you out, she knew she only had a good amount of time before the police traced your call and came to the apartment.

Doing a short clean of the knife, she wrapped you up in her bedsheet and placed you in the car to keep away from prying eyes.

Nearly thirty minutes had passed before she finally settled on a small damp area in between two tall buildings.

"Hey!"

She tense at the calling of a voice. Quickly making sure that the face mask was secure enough, she tilts her head in acknowledgment.

"Do you need help? It seems that you're having a little bit of trouble."

"N-no thank you!" She deepens her voice with a scruffy tone, "It's just some trash I've been avoiding taking out for a while."

The male narrows his eyes at the way her hands fidgeted along with how she looked everywhere else but him. "...okay, if you say so. Have a good night I guess."

Walking away into the night, Su-yeon releases a breath of relief once he disappears from her line of view.

She looks down in time to catch the sight of blood seeping through the cotton blanket.

"Shit...I better get this over with before it spreads too much." Pulling the rest of your body from the car, a small smirk appears at the nasty sound of your head smacking against the concrete.

"Take my hand now...you are the cause of my Euphoria~" The sound of her soft humming bounces off the walls of the narrow buildings as if she hadn't just committed an act of murder.

Eyes landing on the piles of trash-bags, you're placed there before they are put on top to cover your body from open view.

"Oh! I almost forgot, silly me~" Ripping the blanket off of you, she giggles at the sight of your body rolling deeper into the trash, "can't leave any of my DNA behind now can I?"

Su-yeon's eyes crinkle as she walks back to her car with a grin. "Ha! DNA...I could totally become a comedian if I wanted to..."

With her retreating footsteps echoing into the night, it became fainter until the sound of an engine and car zooming away replaced it.

Everything was quiet...not a single sound was heard in the deep humid alleyway.

As the city thrummed with life, you laid there. A product of crazy obsession and petty mistakes costed you your life.

Never again would you be able to talk to your family, or be able to enjoy a daytime stroll in the park.

The only memory left of you was the pool of blood left in the middle of your roommate's floor.

Your wide, blank eyes that had held fear before you took your last breath stared off into nothingness.

You, ____ [Last Name] were dead...

'Wha...where am I?'

Or so that's what one would assume if it weren't for the sudden twitching of your fingers.

You were still alive...and for some reason, you wanted to die when your body started to glow.

Despite the injuries given by Su-yeon, nothing could prepare you for the feeling of thousands of hot piercing needles penetrating every inch of your skin.

Had it not been for your immobilization, you would've been screamed out in pain.

The once dark alleyway brilliantly lit up as tears of agony slipped past your frozen lids.

'Help...me...someone...'

"Yeontan! Yeontan come here boy!"

The distinct sounds of barks filled your head as you finally succumbed to the pain and passed out once more.

Almost as quickly as it came, the light faded away just as a small ball of fur ran up to you with a whine.

Its cold nose nudged you with more whines in hopes of waking you up only for the action to be in vain.

"Yeontan?!" Heavy footsteps rounded the corner before hesitantly running down the narrow walkway with caution.

"Yeontan?" His tense body relaxes at the reassuring bark before letting out a hum of disappointment, "Bad boy! Why would you run out of the apartment like that? Do you know how upset Taehyung would be if he found out that I wasn't properly watching you?"

Ignoring him, Yeontan goes back to sniffing you with more whines causing the male to frown in confusion. "Did something happen? What's wrong?"

His face scrunches in disbelief with pursed lips. "Wait...why the hell am I talking to a dog?"

Quickly pushing the thought aside, he pulls out his phone and turns on the flashlight only to drop it with a startled gasp.

Even though it fell into the murky water, enough light was given to show your lifeless body amongst the trash and plastic.

He takes a step back in horror, eyes becoming misty as they take in the sight of the blood-soaked clothes and stab wounds.

Finally snapping out of the trance at the barks of Yeontan, he quickly picks up the dog and rushes back to the apartment building.

"HYUNGS!"

════════════════*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═════════════════

You jolt up with a gasp, eyes struggling to see past the blurriness as they frantically move around in fear.

"Hey hey, it's alright." A hand gently grabs yours as the warm voice sends chills down your skin.

You flinch away from their touch, body curling up into a ball only to wince from the pain of irritating your wounds.

They sigh at your reaction and mumble a few words along with the sound of scribbling words on paper.

It was only then were your eyes able to finally blink away the blurry images. The first thing you noticed was a man in a white lab coat as he continued to write on his clipboard.

He smiles once seeing your now calmed state. "Hi there. My name is Dr. Young, and I will be your doctor until you're able to leave. Do you remember anything before being brought here?"

Face blank of emotion you, stared at him with a hesitant nod.

"Good! Would you mind telling me what happened?"

Coming home exhausted as usual...

The juice...

Su-yeon and the knife...

Blood...so much blood...

Her taunting smile as she watched you bleed out...

His smile dims at the sight of you remaining silent, your face scrunching up in pain from the memory.

"Hey, not to worry! We can ask you another time when you're better. It's a deal m'kay?"

With a meek hum of agreement, you send him a shaky grin causing his movements to suddenly stop.

Moments pass as he continues to stare at you in a trance-like way until you finally frown from the uneasiness.

Realizing he was making you uncomfortable, Dr. Young clears his throat with an embarrassed smile.

"Well now, I'll inform the nurses of you being awake so they can check your vitals. The others will surely be glad when they see that you're doing okay."

One last smile thrown your way, he walks out the room leaving you alone in a pool confusion.

'Others? What does he mean othe-'

You freeze, eyes wide in surprise at the sight of seven men laying around in the blue and white-colored room.

Some laid in chairs while others sat on the floor with small jackets used as covering.

Despite their sleeping positions, what they all had in common was the dark rings that sat underneath their eyes.

'Were they the ones who saved me?'

The squeak of a chair causes you to break from your thoughts and turn over in time to see the sight of a body hitting the floor with a thud.

A low groan of pain leaves the male as his hands appear on the edge of the bed for support.

With curiosity burning in your veins you peek down just when his head pops up.

Stilling in shock, your heartbeat races as you're faced with one of the most breathtaking faces you've ever seen in your life.

"Oh!" His head cutely tilts to the side as he sends a giant smile towards you, "well aren't you just a cutie~ My name is Taehyung, what's yours?"

'Your future wife if you want me to be. Hell, I'll even be the side chick if I can't have that.'

You clear your thoughts with a quick headshake before plastering a smile. "M-my name is ____."

He stares at your shy actions, mouth dropped open in awe as what could seem like hearts floated in his eyes.

"Awww!" He reaches over and gives your face a soft pinch, "you're just so cute! I wish I that could take you home with me~"

"Really? What would you do to me?" Your eyes become lidded with lust as multiple heated scenarios filled your head.

"Well, first I would give you a little pink glittery dress to wear. And then-oh! Then me, you, and Yeontanie could go to the park so that you can go on all the kiddie rides. Doesn't that sound fun?"

Your lovey-dovey smile drops at his words, head lowered down with pursed lips as you gaze at him in disbelief. "Pink glittery dress? Kiddie rides?"

Taehyung eyes brighten more at your questions. "Yes! And then if you want we can go to this little ice-cream shop to get a yummy tre-"

"Motherfucker do I look like a baby to you?!"

He gasps, eyes widening before placing a hand over his mouth in shock. "Did you...did you just use no-no words?"

"No-no words?...are you shitting me right now?! Who the fuck says no-no words in this day and age? This ain't no damn Barney type shit my nigg-ah!"

You look at a frowning Taehyung in anger, hands coming up to rub your forehead after being thumped.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you-goddammit!"

"No! No more bad words okay? Cute kids like you shouldn't use them, only grown-ups are allowed to." He wags his finger with furrowed eyebrows as his voice deepens into a scolding tone.

'Is this dude serious right now?' Staring at him for a few moments you try to see whether he was just playing around or not, and by the serious expression on his face...you knew he wasn't. 'Fuck it...this bitch needs to go now.'

With a shake of your head, you reach out for the nurse call button only to slow down once taking a good look at your hands.

Usually, you would've continued at the sight of the callouses that decorated them from countless hours of tedious waitressing, but the sight of small soft hands that seemed to have never worked a day in their life is what made you stop.

"Wha...?" Flexing and shaking them with sharp movements, you begin to freak out when seeing that they were in fact yours.

'Wait...does that mean...'

Your eyes widen in fear before quickly pulling the collar of the nightgown to take a look at your body.

The sight of what would usually be where your breasts were hanging, you were met with only a flat chest.

'Noooo! My precious babies! A-and...'

Taking your gaze down even further, you saw that not one single pubic hair laid in-between your legs.

'Oh sweet Jesus...please please don't let me be what I think I am...'

"You!" Taehyung flinches at your narrowed gaze, "take me to the bathroom right now."

"O-okay..." Grabbing your hands, he pulls you to the end of the bed with an inconsiderable amount of ease. With one hand on the IV stand and the other one the idol's arm, your hunched figure wobbled to the closed door.

Tears pricked your eyes at the missing feeling of the weight of your chest whenever you had to bend down or over.

"Here we are~ Do you want me to go get a nurse to help you out?" He opens the door, turning on the light as you stared at the tiled floor in fear of facing the reality of the situation.

"N-no...I just need to do something right quick. You can stand outside if you want."

Not wanting to make you even more distressed, Taehyung reluctantly leaves you alone in the small confined space.

The room was silent, the only sounds heard were of your shaky breathing and the occasional dripping of the IV as it administered the medicine.

'Is okay ____...just one look. One look to be sure. That's all, just one...'

Looking up to the mirror, you're met with the face of a very young and adorable little girl.

Her face was rounded with the touch of youthfulness, having features that could top even the babies you would fawn over on Instagram and Pinterest.

And if it weren't for the gaping mouth and eyes widened in horror, you probably wouldn't have believed it was you.

"I...I..."

| |

Taehyung leans against the door with a sigh of worry as he waits for you to call his name.

"Maybe she needs help?" He debates on whether or not to call a nurse or continue to wait.

"Aish! What is this child doing to me? She's already got me wrapped around her little finger...ah, such a Cutie Patootie~"

Gushing over the thought of you wearing adorable costumes and princess outfits, Taehyung becomes excited when gazing at his sleeping bandmates.

"I should definitely wake the others so they can finally meet her..." A small pout appears on the idol's face when a sudden thought came to mind, "but how can I wake them all in one time?"

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MEEEEEEEEE?!"

The other members jump at the high-pitched scream in alarm, eyes still covered from sleep looking around the room in panic.

"...that might work too."

∘₊✧───────✧₊∘∘₊✧──────✧₊∘∘₊✧──────✧₊∘∘₊✧───────✧₊∘

a/n: part two? 👀

[shitty-davesprite-daily]

hrhrhrgm. yes. i will continue to not communicate with the person I love despite that being a known factor in dumb bullshit happening. incredibly smart. what's the next bright idea, Mr. Strider? here, maybe if we scoot the self-loathing nap to 9:30 we can fit in another Bullshit Escapade at 7:00 and have time for you to have dinner at 9:00.

TG: yeah because fuck me for wanting to sleep after i got my fucking wing torn off am i right

TG: seriously how goddamn selfish do i have to be to make sure that i dont fucking bleed out before i go and harass someone that nearly kicked it because of me

TG: god what would i do without you mystery asshole. truly making me see the error of my ways

[sukunastoy]

What's your biggest regret? 😈

It’s probably depressingly sad, and maybe not want anyone wants to read. Trigger warning ahead. Talking about my dads recent death.

But, currently my biggest regret is not answering my dads phone call the day before he unexpectedly died. I was having a bad day, and was taking a nap. I remember the call waking me up, and I remember thinking “I’m just not in the mood to talk. He’ll understand. I’ll call him tomorrow when I’m not in such a bad mood.”

And it was Father’s Day weekend mind you.

The next day, I went to work at 6 am, and me and my bf had made movie reservations prior anyway right after my work so I thought, “well, by the time I actually get home, I’ll be tired from work and the movie and trying to eat dinner. So, I’ll call him the next day so it’s not so late.” We usually talked at least once a week. But the last time we did talk on the phone, he was asking if I could talk him through how to download Steam onto his laptop so he could play a couple war games that he enjoyed. I told him of course, and when he had some time we’ll get it figured it out and I’ll send him pics and videos if needed. (We live 14 hours away from each other, he lived with my sister. So..at least he wasn’t ever alone.) But…his final words to me were “hey, you should be calling me more often. I know you’re busy, but I hope you can make some time.” And I said “yeah..I know. I’m sorry, my days just blend together sometimes.” He said he understands, just misses me and wants us to talk more.

So…I get home at the end of the day, tired from work and the movie, and, just finishing eating dinner. My sister called me and I didn’t answer cause I was finishing up my food, but she called back again immediately which she never does so I figured was urgent and answered. And it was her letting me know my dad had a massive stroke, and he was found outside in their backyard, covered in ants, and he had wet himself…(imagining my strong father in such a way, being alone when it happened, and being found in such a way, fucking haunts me). He had been mowing the grass for her while she was at work, preparing for a little party they were about to have with my sister and brother (who was going to see them the next day). He had been out there for about 5 hours without breathing, and his dog -who normally ran away when not in a locked fence- was running around the front yard -not a fenced area- barking hysterically, and not even trying to leave the yard. I imagine the dog was trying to stay with my dads body while also not sure what the fuck was going on and also trying to get someone’s attention.

He wasn’t “physically” dead, but, his brain was. He had gone too long without oxygen.

My goddamn heart broke in that instant. Felt like some horrible movie plot meant to destroy the main character. I cried so hard I almost threw up, and i frantically scraped up money (thanks to a lot of kind souls here on tumblr donating to me in that instant) so I could take a flight the next morning to go down to him, BEGGING, whatever god or entity in existence that SOMEHOW, the doctors could bring some life back to him.

Obviously…they couldn’t. They did multiple tests and scans over the span of 3 days, keeping him on breathing tubes and other machines to keep his body alive. They have to have x amount of failed tests before legally declaring him “dead.” Though they did tell us from the beginning, they’re about 99.9% sure he’d never recover. And they said if he did by some miracle get a little brain activity back, he’d basically be a vegetable on a machine the rest of his life. And we all knew he would have NEVER wanted to live the rest of his life like that. So..we more or less just prayed for it to end already. To end his suffering. Let him move on. Cause he HATED being in the hospital and not being able to move or do something. (he had already gone through severe cancer surgery/treatments 10 years prior and he said he’d rather die than live in the hospital under such duress ever again.)

And so for 3 days, me and my brother and sister, sat in the hospital room with my dads body, waiting for the legality of it all to end. We watched his body twitch and move, though no control of his own. Just his brain completely shutting down. When they ran the last test, had the several different doctors sign off to keep it legal, they said it’s up to us when to pull the plug. Me, being the baby sibling, got to make the final decision. Cause they weren’t gonna do it til I said I was ready. Of course I wasn’t fucking ready. But…I had to be.

I knew he wasn’t there anymore. But, his heart was still beating. I remember once they pulled the breathing tubes out, and turned off the other life support machines, I held my dads hand, and laid my head on his chest to listen to his heartbeat as it faded and then finally stopped only a couple minutes later.

And it’s only been a little over 4 months since he died, but I hate myself and regret so much I wanna throw up every day for not answering his call. When it was going to be the last time we ever got to speak. And I ignored it cause I was in a bad mood. And we had been playing phone tag for the whole week before that. So, the last chance I had to talk to my dad, the only real parent I ever had that loved me, and the only person who was ever 100% there for me, I fucking blew it.

And…Ive been crying every singe day over this since.✌️

So…that’s my biggest regret. It sounds corny and cheesy af. But..if you love/care about someone, truly treat each moment as if it’s the last. Cause, it might be…and I promise, if you don’t, and regret it, the pain is so goddamn fucking unbearable you won’t want to live. Luckily I’ve been on 3 medications for a couple years now that have already helped me through my suicidal depression, cause I probably would have already offed myself trying to go through this if I didn’t have them.

And well…that’s why I’m so randomly active/inactive on here. Cause some days I’m just not “here.” I’m fucking struggling hard. But…being obsessed with JJK and that 2D monster that is Sukuna, has kept me going for whatever reason. I appreciate everyone that obsesses with me. Helps distract from the pain.

✌️✨ Sorry for this depressive shit. I’ll get back to drawing/writing naughty shit here soon. It’s a great pain reducer. No one is required to comment, or say anything in regards to this. Lmao, I won’t be sad if you don’t. I know this stuff is awkward and for some it’s weird to handle/respond to. If you don’t want to say anything, or scared/uncomfortable, I totally get that. Cause I’m weird about stuff like this too. I handle death in a weird way, and everyone has their own way to cope/comfort. Don’t feel pressured to say anything. Cause I understand.

I’m just blessed to have some amazing people here on Tumblr help me through the days without them even knowing it. ❤️‍🩹

Big fat smooches and hugs to you all.

[29daffodils]

so i saw this post of mine has 2 notes now (haha, lucky me) and thought i'd share whatever i could save from 10 years back, considering i probably won't be able to actually write this out anytime soon.

mind you, i was 16-17 when i wrote this, back in 2012-13 or so, now I'm almost 28 (in 2 months). my writing style has changed a lot but also not very much. I'm cringing a little while reading this too, but this was one of my better stuff from back then and kinda reflects my current style to a great extent.

also, heh, turns out you forget details with time. it's kyoya who's leaving for college and ryuuga stays behind because he wanted a career in music. anyway, here ya go.

needless to say, do not repost. i hope it won't happen. this is a child of mine i haven't been able to nurture. but. you can have it for now!

**

The two days after their trip and before Kyoya's departure, Ryuuga's head is constantly swimming in a sea of emotions, muscles wound tight, an oppressive air all around him, inside him, threatening to choke him to death.

Anger. Hatred. Disgust. Betrayal. Loss. Loneliness.

He lists off each one as he helps Kyoya pack, but can't decide which one of them he feels strongest.

When they are done — two heavy bags neatly arranged at the foot of the bed, Ryuuga turns to leave.

"You should stay" Kyoya says with a hopeful lilt in his voice, and that is when Ryuuga makes the lamest excuse of his life to get away from this boy he has loved since the first time he laid eyes on him.

"I've got a headache" he says, heading towards the door. "Gonna take a nap."

Kyoya does not look the least bit convinced and Ryuuga does not want to argue with him right now of all things possible because he knows how adamant Kyoya can be when he wants his way.

"But kaa-chan made dinner ——" Kyoya starts, moving towards him to make his point and ——

"I wanna take a goddamn nap, Kyoya! Can ya leave me alone for once?"

The room goes deathly silent then.

Kyoya stands beside his bed, hands balled up into fists, lips pressed together and jaws shut tight.

And while Ryuuga keeps looking at him, he hates himself just a little bit more.

He did not mean to burst out like this, but he's so angry right now; has been this way for so long, since the day he came to know that Kyoya got into Tokyo U.

That this will probably be it. Their end.

He wants to claw his eyes out, pull at his hairs until they are nothing but shreds of dead protein, because he is so so so goddamned scared right now and there is no one to talk to, definitely not Kyoya, and God knows that if he stays here one more minute, he'd go to Kyoya crawling on his knees and beg him to stay, to hold onto them instead of his dreams, to wait for a few more years so that they can leave this place together, so that ——

"Okay" Kyoya says, uncurling his fists, and so, instead of doing all this and more, Ryuuga takes that much needed step back, learns to let go before Kyoya pushes him away, because regardless of everything else, what does not change is the fact that he is twenty years old and a coward, scared of being wounded by love.

~

The headache he lies about comes to bite him in the ass.

By the time it's eleven, his head is pounding so hard he thinks that his eyes might just pop out from all that pressure.

The thought of Kyoya leaving is constantly bugging him and truth be told, he's fuckin' tired of it all now.

At 10.50, there is a knock on his bedroom door and he grumbles just loud enough to make himself heard, "Maa, I don't want dinner, I ——"

"I thought you needed a nap."

—— and that is definitely not his Maa's voice.

He sits up to look at Kyoya standing by the door.

"What're ya doing here?"

Ryuuga gets a raised eyebrow for that.

Kyoya walks up to him and places something on the study table.

"You forgot your watch" he says and just, stands there, watching him.

After a while, Ryuuga sighs loudly and says, "C'mere", opening his arms for Kyoya to slip in.

He kisses his forehead then, just a soft press of lips not meant to lead anywhere.

"Sorry I was a dick" Ryuuga mumbles, running a hand over Kyoya's stiff back.

"How's the headache?" Kyoya asks in return.

"Don't have one" he lies.

"Your eyes are bloodshot, Ryuuga."

Ryuuga takes a deep breath then and reminds himself exactly why he did not want to see Kyoya's face tonight anymore.

He knows, that even now, there is a huge possibility that if he asks, then Kyoya will stay, apply to some other college on the island or something.

But that is the problem, isn't it?

He does not want to squash Kyoya's dreams, in spite of everything that he wants.

So he draws back and says, "Go home now. I'll see you tomorrow."

Kyoya reaches towards him, stubborn, so stubborn, says, "You can talk to me."

But Ryuuga doesn't want this, not right now at least.

"There's nothing to talk about" he tells Kyoya, sternly this time so that it gets through his thick skull. "I'll see ya tomorrow. Promise."

Kyoya stands, tips his jaw up, defiant, strong-willed, and then presses a kiss to his forehead, hands him something from his pocket.

"Take them with some food" he says, "or you'll get gas."

Ryuuga's lips twitch up, fingers curling around the ibuprofen tablets, and this is another problem, isn't it? Kyoya jokes without meaning to, cares without showing, loves without asking and Ryuuga, he's going to... miss him so much.

"I love you" Kyoya says, before he walks out, shutting the door behind him.

~

[61below]

Yesterday I got a text from my mother in law (again) where she lambasted me for how dirty my house is and ‘offered’ to ‘help’ me clean. Even though I’ve already repeatedly told her to stop. Even though mr61below has repeatedly told her to stop. She drinks, she gets vocal. It’s not an option to go no-contact right now bc there’s extenuating circumstances, but goddamn I wish I could.

Bc my house is a disaster. But I was still so damned fatigued after lyme, and then just as I was finally feeling like I had finally recovered from that, I got fucking covid. It’s now been two months and I’m still hit with coughing bouts so hard I’m fighting to not pee my pants. I try to go on hikes a few times a week for the dog’s sake, but I’m completely gassed by just a mile. Going to town for errands is enough to make me need to take a nap. I didn’t want to acknowledge this. I don’t want to think about this. I’m so so so lucky that I have a very good job that’s already fully remote. But I’ve been making enough cognitive mistakes that I’m freaking myself out.

I was mid-scrubbing my moldy kitchen sink when I got that text. I deleted the notification and put my phone face down and kept listening to my motivation metal playlist. I finished planting one flat of this week’s veggie seeds. I kept thinking about the text and how mr61below is rushing to finish splitting the firewood before the mosquitoes hatch. I felt like I’m trying to push through quicksand don’t sit don’t sit if you sit you won’t get back up.

I sat. I started crying. Heikki came running from his dog bed and started licking my face, wiggling to get closer closer closer. He is so good.

Mr61below came in for a break and said he’ll talk to his mom again, that once he finishes the firewood he’ll be able to help inside the house, to not worry. (But I also feel like I shouldn’t feel so bad about my shit bc he’s been even more sick for far longer.)

I finished planting the other flat: broccoli and cucumbers and so many different melons. I finished emptying the far-too-full litter box. Roxy immediately dove in there and started rooting around happily. Mr61below told me he’s got enough leftovers for dinner, to not overdo it. I wanted to get the garden beds ready for planting peas and lettuce next weekend, but I just couldn’t. I finally sat.

Today my lower back is absolutely livid. But at least my sink is clean.