#i wanna try and drop out of my english courses for next semester and try to do a ed course

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Semantic Error | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter 3

Based off of Semantic Error (bl) by J Soori Summary: y/n meets Jimin and makes Jungkook jealous Pairing: Techie inexperienced fem!reader x Artist fuck boy Jungkook Word count: 2.7k~ Warnings: Explicit language, Idk that's pretty much it for this chapter. A/N: This is heavily based off of the original bl (boy love) Semantic Error and it covers chapters (episodes) 4,5 and 29. I've switched around the timeline quite a bit and got rid of some scenes here and there to make the story progress a bit faster so they're not exactly alike but I would like to stick close to the original story so let me know what you think! P.s. If you don't mind spoilers I would highly suggest reading the original story. I read it on the app Manta with the english adaptation being done by Angy and you can also find the Kdrama on Viki :) Read from the beginning

The next day as I'm walking to the cafeteria I see a guy fall dropping some books and papers all over the floor. I decide to walk past because honestly it's not my problem but unfortunately once I'm in his line of sight he decides to call out to me. "Hey sorry do you think you could help me pick this stuff up? I shouldn't have tried to balance all of it on top of each other" he says clearly regretting his actions. I start picking things up quietly, not making an effort to make conversation and once we're finished I decide to turn and go. 

"Wait! What's your name?" he asks preventing me from leaving. "y/n" I state and wait for him to continue on with whatever he had planned to say. "Well y/n would you mind helping me carry this stuff over to the music building? I'm just worried I might drop it all again" he says taking all of the heavy books and hoping that I'll pick up the folders full of sheet music. I stand there for a second trying to calculate the time it would take me to help him out and if I can fit it into my schedule. 

"If you help me, I'll buy you lunch" he says with a bright almost perfect smile aside from his cooked front tooth. Thinking about it now with that incentive clearly tips the scale, providing him with a favorable result. I wordlessly pick up the things he couldn't manage to carry and wait for him to lead the way. "You don't talk much do you?" he chuckles giving me a sideways glance. "Not unless it's necessary" I say and continue to follow hoping I'll get this over with so I can get back on schedule.

"So...what's your major?" he says obviously trying to maintain a conversation with me. "Computer Engineering" I answer giving his as short of answers as possible. I'm not one for casual conversation, let alone conversation at all. Like I said, only when necessary. "I'm Jimin by the way, and if you couldn't guess already my major is music. Well, music and dance but my course load this semester is very music centric" I nod my head and he decides to keep rambling which seems to be something he's used to doing.

From the casual glances we're getting it seems like he's pretty well known in this department. "Hey Jimin you down to go grab some lunch in a sec?" a guy in a big group of people yells out. "Nah that's okay, I promised to buy y/n lunch for helping me out" he says motioning to me as best as he can with his hands full. "Oh...okay well have fun" the guy says and goes back to one of the many conversations going on over there. 

I turn my head and look back up at Jimin confused, "You could've just given me enough for the cafeteria and have gone with them" I say hoping to brush him off and go back to my solitude. "I'm not gonna buy you food from the cafeteria silly, let's go somewhere! There's a cool pizza place right outside of campus that I've been wanting to check out. You wanna go?" he asks asks and nods towards the classroom that we're meant to leave these things at. "I guess" I shrug not really caring at this point. Since my class doesn't start for another two hours I guess I could afford to go off campus to eat for a change, especially since it's free. 

As we make our way into the pizza place (creatively named Pizza Planet) we're greeted by a pretty big crowd but luckily we're able to find a table near the entrance right away. "Welcome in" someone yells letting us know they saw us come in and they'll be with us in a moment. "This place is pretty cool huh? He says referring to the theme that seems to be trendy these days. "Spaceships, nice" I say barely looking up while scanning the QR code to get the menu.

"Have you never watched the movie Toy Story?" he says, surprised that I don't have a better reaction to it. "No I'm not big on American movies or whatever. My family really only showed us media that was Korean or Japanese" I say hoping to show that I'm not interested on elaborating on the topic any further and luckily before he can say anything again our server comes to our table. 

"Welcome to Pizza Planet guys, what can I get you?" he says with a bright smile until his glance falls on me. For some reason his expression changes to that of annoyance and I'm slightly confused but not enough to comment on it. "Do you know what you want y/n?" Jimin asks me and I take a quick glance over the menu and settle on the most expensive item. It's a free meal so might as well milk it for all it's worth.

Jimin places his order and the server looks back down at me and asks if we wanted anything else to which Jimin denies. "You guys do student discounts though right?" he asks holding out his card and the server takes his eyes off of me to inspect his student ID and confirms his suspicions. 

Once he hands him back his student ID the server's gaze for some reason falls back on me. "Do you need to see my ID too?" I question suddenly weirded out by his glaring. "No" he says full of spite, pushing up the bridge of his glasses. "Okay well then you can go now, don't you have other people to serve?" I say shooing him off, to which he looks down at me with utter confusion and opts to just turn away to go put in our order instead of making an further discussion. 

"Are you okay?" Jimin asks, clearly aware of the weird tension between the server and I. "Yeah I'm fine, he was just acting really weird" I say and shake it off for the time being. "Do you know him?" he asks tilting his head at me. "Why would I know a random guy in a pizza place?" I say confused as to how this all connects in his head. "Well because he goes to school with us, I believe his name is Jungkook, I had a class with him last semester and he seemed like a cool guy or so I thought. Are you guys okay?" he asks clearly concerned, seeing my face contort into an uncomfortable realization when I finally put the pieces together. 

I guess I didn't recognize him because he was dressed so differently while sporting a hat and glasses. Looks like he clearly recognized me though, and he definitely wasn't happy to see me. I watch as Jungkook makes his way out of the shop as another server comes to relieve him. "Would you mind it if I went outside to go talk to him for a second?" I ask already standing up not really caring to wait for his permission. "Oh um yeah okay, I guess I'll just stay here" he says awkwardly while watching me walk out before I'm finally out of his view. 

Looking around I notice that there's a small alleyway between this pizza place and the next building over and I can see a puff of smoke coming out of it as well as hear someone's voice sounding like some sort of argument. I walk over and thankfully it's the exact person I've been looking for. "Hey can you get off the phone?" I say and he looks up glaring at me and he stops leaves a pause in the conversation happening before he tells the person on the phone that he has to go. "What do you want?" he says before taking a drag off of his cigarette. 

"We need to talk" I say seeing if he's open to it. "So talk" he says and purposefully blows smoke in my direction which leaves me having to wave away the smoke and clear my throat before I'm able to start. "I owe you an apology" I start off, "No shit you do" he mumbles under his breath. "Are you gonna let me talk or should I just go back inside?" I say getting short with him. "Yeah go back to your boyfriend, see if I care" he spits out and throws his cigarette on the floor to stomp it out before pushing himself up off the wall and making moves to walk off.

"He's not my boyfriend, in fact not that it's any of your business but we just met today and the only reason I'm here is because he offered me a free meal for helping him carry some stuff across campus" I say in one breath and open my mouth to continue "That doesn't sound like you" he interrupts laughing bitterly at my story. "Well it's the truth and you can ask him yourself if you really don't believe me" I say crossing my arm, becoming aware that this has now become my defensive stance of choice against him.

"No that's fine I believe you, I just find it adorable that you could be so food motivated. Helping out a perfectly good stranger and then making a trip with him off campus. That wasn't very smart of you y/n" he says taunting me. "Just because you're older than me doesn't mean that you get to talk down to me" I say getting even more irritated at this situation. "That's funny that you say that" he says getting closer until he's sure to tower over me, "because it looks like I have to love" he says trying to get some sort of reaction out of me. 

I'm not sure exactly what it could be I decide to take a step back but as I do I find myself slipping on something and I mentally brace for impact but it never comes, now seeming to notice a firm grasp on my waist instead of my back on the cold hard street. "Be careful there y/n, we wouldn't want to have an accident on our hands" he says amused at our forced proximity and my facial expressions because of it. I get back up on my feet and push him away after I've sure I regained my balance. "I apologized okay? Now stop being so hostile, it's annoying" I say while straightening out my clothes. "But I like seeing the faces you make when I'm annoying you" he says with a smirk. 

"What faces? I don't make any faces" I deny. "Why don't you go look in the mirror pretty, I'm sure you'll see why I like it so much" he says before walking past me. "Hey where are you going? Aren't you going to apologize too?" I call after him before he gets too far. "Sorry love, I've gotta go back to work, why don't we pick this up later?" he says sending me a wink before opening the door and walking inside. "But I don't want there to be a later" I say under my breath kicking the rocks that I had no doubt slipped on just moments ago. I shake myself out of whatever headspace he had me in and take a deep breath trying to calm myself down. 

I've never had a rush of so many emotions running through me before, and the only other times it has gotten close to this it seems like Jungkook has been the one to triggered them. I groan and make my way back inside as well and I sit back down at the table not making an effort to say a word to Jimin. "So how did it go? It seemed like he was pretty happy when he walked in" he says intrigued by our polar opposite returns with me being the one who looks upset now. "He's happy because he was able to irritate me and get a reaction out of me. Ugh I should've never went out there" I groan and take a drink of my water.

"Why did you end up going out there?" he questions, clearly interested in the story behind our weird behaviors. "I said some things that were probably interpreted as being mean, I'm not the kind of person who cares much about others but I'm adult enough to admit that what I said was out of line" I say rolling my eye irritated that I let him get the best of me time and time again, but for some reason I end up being the bad guy.

"I swear this man is going to put me in an early grave" I say and then speak of the devil Jungkook shows up with our order. "That's not very nice, are you already trying to be mean to me again" he pouts jokingly. "No but you are being rather rude listening in on people's conversations" I roll my eyes and go back to taking a drink of water. "It's not my fault that you're talking about me right in front of me. Anyways is there anything else I can get you guys?" he asks looking between the two of us.

"No I think we're all set" Jimin responds sending me a smile which I return with a nod. "What about you pretty? Do you need anything else from me?" Jungkook says leaning towards me and tucking my hair behind my ear to see my face better. To which I respond to by choking on my water while also spilling some on the table. "Shit y/n are you okay?" Jimin asks clearly concerned for my welfare. I cough a few times and send him a thumbs up trying to calm my coughs down. "I'll go get you guys some napkins" Jungkook chuckles walking off. 

"Man I swear guys like him think they can get away with anything just because they're more attractive than the average male" he says rolling his eyes at him and handing his napkins over to me. "Thanks" I say and clean up as best as I could while we wait for the rest of the napkins. "It's fine I'm over it" I say clearing my throat hopefully for the last time right as Jungkook returns with more napkins.

"Sorry guys I was just teasing, your meal's on me this time okay?" he says giving us both a charming smile. "You sure?" Jimin asks looking surprised as ever. "Yeah it's the least I could do for interrupting you guys and making y/n upset" he says but I can tell he's still teasing me even though he's behaving in front of Jimin. 

"Thank you so much" Jimin says giving him a thankful shallow bow. "It's fine don't mention it, also you can call me Hyung if you want to, I don't mind" Jungkook offers, clearly trying to get on Jimin's good side. This whole act he's putting on is ridiculous, I haven't known him for long but I can sure as hell tell when people are lying. "Okay, thank you Jungkook hyung" he says and smiles back at me. "You can call me Oppa if you want to y/n" he says offering it to me as well, waiting for me to take the bait. 

"Jungkook is just fine for me, I'll call you JK if you want me to, but that's it" I say not bothering to show any sort of respect and grace to the person who just bought my meal which is probably cold by now. "Aw come on just once?" he says mercilessly taunting me still. "Don't you ever get tired of being a pain in the ass?" I say finally fed up with all of his antics "Nope" he says popping the P at the end before leaning down to whisper in my ear "You look cute when you're feisty" he says making sure to blow on my neck again making me shiver slightly. 

I stand up abruptly and he straightens his posture and takes a step back giving me the tiniest bit of room to pass by. "Jimin I'm leaving if you want I'll wait for you outside so we can take the food back to campus" I say and make moves to leave as quickly as I can, not missing the way Jungkook chuckles at me on the way out. "Um yeah I'll be out in a second. Hyung do you think you could box this up for us?" he asks using the new term he had been encouraged to use. "Sure, see you around y/n" he says making sure I hear it before the door closes behind me.  

prev / next

Series Masterlist

Mini Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @goddesofimortality @kaitieskidmore97 @coolbluedude @00frenchfries00 @marvelbun @coralmusicblaze @bangtans-momma

Join my Taglist!

Feel free to fill out the form or just comment to be added :)

[silouvertongues]

.

[everybodyscupoftea]

the art of making a move at a kegger

jj x reader

word count: 2877

warnings: drinking, cursing, and towards the end almost sexual content but not actually

synopsis: harboring feelings for jj + getting drunk doesn’t always equal the smoothest of times but it all works out in the end

requested by @maybebanks​ really hope you like it!

JJ wasn’t on your radar until he slept through three quizzes in a row during your 8:00 a.m. English freshman year. He sat across from you, and you thought he was pretty cute, even when he started showing up wearing Pike letters. Which coincidentally is when he started falling asleep during quizzes.

One morning, when the professor left the room and you were packing your backpack, you heard JJ clear his throat. You glanced up, unsure if it was for you or not, and caught him smiling at you sheepishly.

“Hey,” he mumbled, running a hand through his unruly hair, “I was wondering if you had the readings for Thursday, I lost the syllabus.”

You pulled out your planner, “Yeah, it’s Act 3 of Hamlet and a part from the textbook on dramatic irony, pages 176-179.”

He quickly jotted it down on the corner of his notebook and smiled tiredly at you, “Thanks so much, I can’t keep failing these fucking quizzes, my grade is cheeks right now.”

“Is everything okay?” you cautiously asked, you didn’t want to push but you were a little concerned about the cute boy.

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair again, “Hazing shit, they’re making the new pledges stay up. I haven’t slept a full night in two weeks.”

“That’s, uh,” you weren’t really sure what to say, “not okay?” You settled on.

With a shrug, he tugged his backpack up and pushed in his chair, “Yeah, well, I guess it comes with being a legacy.” And then he was gone.

After that first interaction, you and JJ chatted every so often. Sometimes you’d let him cheat off your quizzes because they were pointless anyway and sometimes, you’d ask your professor to repeat one of the questions so he could get a second chance to answer if he was running late.

The last day of the semester he brought you coffee, “I just wanted to thank you for everything this semester, and I was hoping I could get your number so we can keep in touch.”

The next semester you had two classes together, much to your shock. When the two of you started to hang out outside of class to study for statistics, you learned some stuff about him. He was from the Outer Banks and he had a rough childhood. He was also receiving the Pell Grant so school was totally paid for, his only expense was the frat.

You also learned that the two of you were the same major and had to take all of the same courses, so the two of you decided to try and register for some of the same classes. It didn’t always work out, you had priority scheduling as a note taker for at least one class every semester and sometimes when JJ went to schedule, your section was already full. But sometimes it did work out.

Either way, the two of you always studied together. You used to go back and forth between apartments, one week was yours and one was JJ’s, until he moved into the frat house and no work was meant to be done in those walls. That atmosphere was conducive to parties only, something else JJ loved.

One afternoon, fall of your sophomore year, JJ balled up a piece of paper and threw it at you. It bounced off your forehead landed in your open coffee cup, and you looked up and glared at him, “Was that necessary?”

He gave you an innocent look, “Do you have plans next weekend?”

“I mean, we have a test the next Monday so I’ll probably be studying.”

JJ took the last sip of his coffee, “I have a formal and I need a date, wanna go?”

“Not particularly,” you responded with a shrug.

“No strings attached,” JJ told you, “promise. My friend from home, Kie, normally comes with me, but she has her own shit to do, and me and you get along. If you don’t go, I’ll have to take a stranger and then I’ll be bored.”

You’d been to some of the parties his frat threw, you knew he wouldn’t really be bored all night, he just didn’t want to have to actually work to get a date. Not that he’d have to work hard, his good looks would pretty much guarantee him a date. But you were a little intrigued, so you agreed.

“Great,” he told you, clapping his hands, “let me know what color your dress is and I’ll get a matching tie.”

“Fancy,” you told him with a smile.

“Kie loves matching, she’ll be proud,” JJ responded, and it made you really curious about Kie and the rest of his friends, but you didn’t ask.

Eventually you would get to meet them. JJ invited you to go home with him for spring break and he showed you around the Outer Banks, took you surfing, and threw a party that almost rivaled the ones his frat normally threw. Meeting his friends was nice, but really getting to know JJ was nicer. That’s when you started to complicate the ‘no strings attached’ deal, you felt yourself catching feelings.

By the time senior year rolled around, you were the most tired you’ve ever been. School was hard, having a job while doing school was harder and your social life was suffering. You still hung out with JJ a lot, mostly to study or to unwind and just watch TV, but he was really the only person you spent time with on a regular basis other than your coworkers.

Late on a Saturday afternoon, you were already in your pajamas, studying for an anatomy test, when there was a knock at your apartment door. Startled, you wrapped the blanket you were sitting under tightly around your shoulders and cautiously walked to the door. Peering through the peephole, you saw JJ standing there, looking at something on his phone.

You threw the door open, “What are you doing here?”

He looked up and smiled, “I’m here to kidnap you.”

“What?” you asked blankly, not really in the mood.

JJ pushed his way past you and sat on a barstool before answering, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed how miserable you’ve been lately. When’s the last time you went out?”

And, God, when was the last time you’d done something fun? You sighed, “Fuck, I don’t know, like maybe a month ago when we went to that basketball game.”

With a hum, JJ stood up, “Get dressed, Pike’s throwing a kegger tonight.”

You didn’t even think twice before tossing the blanket onto the couch and going to your closet to find something to wear. JJ turned the TV on while you got fully dressed, minus makeup. Peeking your head out, you caught JJ’s attention, “Can I do my makeup at the house?”

He nodded, “Yeah. You almost ready because I’ve gotta pick up the keg soon?”

“Let’s go.”

JJ locked the door behind you and the two of you walked to his truck. The music blasted as soon as he cranked it up and he turned it down with a sheepish smile, “My bad, the song playing when I got here was a banger.”

Plugging your phone in, you put on the collaborative playlist you and JJ made together. He turned it back up a little and peeled out of the parking lot to the nearest liquor store where his frat normally got their kegs.

You bought cups at the convenience store next door while JJ loaded the keg into his truck, and a few pods because you were low and JJ was almost always out. JJ was leaning against the truck when you met him back in the shared parking lot, and he handed you a Twisted Tea, “For accompanying me on this adventure, madam.”

“Thank you, kind sir,” you responded, cracking it open and took a deep sip before climbing back into the truck to head to the frat house.

JJ left you to finish getting ready while he helped everyone set up for the party. You joined him eventually, having finished your first drink, and helped lock all bedroom doors and put all valuables away.

By the time people started arriving you were happily tipsy, hanging onto JJ while he talked to some of his friends, sipping beer slowly out of your assigned cup at the house. You were over there enough that you’d claimed one of your own and all the other guys that lived there respected it for the most part.

The party started to pick up and one of JJ’s frat brothers called you over to attempt a keg stand. You’d always wanted to try but never had, so you handed JJ your cup and kicked your feet up, trusting the two guys were ready to catch you. They did and someone put the spout into your mouth.

A crowd gathered around you and started counting loudly. You made it all the way to a minute before kicking to be let down. Slowly the two guys lowered your feet and your vision swam while beer bubbled in your throat. You almost choked but managed to swallow while everyone cheered around you. JJ wrapped an arm around your shoulder, “Not bad for a first time!”

He topped your cup off and guided you away. You cleared your throat, “Thought I was gonna puke for a second there.”

“You turned a little green when you first came down, how you feeling now though?”

“Feeling fantastic,” you told him earnestly, swaying in place.

JJ chuckled, grabbing your shoulders, “You got plans tomorrow?”

“Anatomy.”

“So that’s a no, I won’t cut you off then.”

“Don’t cut me off, please,” you told him seriously, trying to focus on his face.

He gave you a little two finger salute, “Aye aye madam.”

You lost track of how many drinks you had as the night went on. Sometime during the night, JJ disappeared and came back with something besides beer for you which was really nice and you thanked him with a kiss on the cheek. He just laughed and squeezed your shoulder before going off to talk to someone else.

When the party started winding down, you attempted to find the Uber app on your phone to call a ride home. JJ tapped your shoulder, startling you, and in your clumsy, intoxicated state, you dropped your phone. It slid out of your eyesight and you glared at him, “Pick it up, J.”

“What are you doing?” he asked, amused.

“Goin home, party’s over.”

“Why don’t you just stay here?”

“Can’t make it up the stairs,” you told him seriously.

JJ raised his eyebrows, “You live on the second floor of your apartment building, at least here you have me to help you up the stairs.”

He had you there. So, you nodded and he took you to the kitchen for a clean cup. JJ filled it with water and made you drink two before leading you to the stairs. You lifted your foot to put it on the first step and almost fell over. JJ reached out but you shushed him, as if his silence would help you focus more on not falling over.

On the second try, you managed to climb up one step and immediately shuffled close to the wall so you could lean your whole body against it for balance while attempting to climb. It was a really slow process, but you were too stubborn to ask for help, and JJ knew better than to try to help you when you were feeling stubborn.

JJ stayed one step below you to help in case you started to fall backwards. Eventually you made it all the way up and immediately forgot which door led to his room. Huffing a laugh, JJ grabbed your wrist and led you to the second one on the left.

You sat down on the bed and went pretty much boneless at the comfort of finally not being on your feet.

“Fucks sake, dude,” JJ muttered, pushing you up into a sitting position.

“No,” you whined, fighting to lay back down.

It wasn’t hard for JJ to keep you sitting up, “You’re going to be so pissed if you wake up in your clothes with makeup on, you need to change and get ready for bed.”

He was right again, but you didn’t have the comprehension level to remember how to do that so you shrugged in response. JJ sighed and helped you kick your shoes off before going to get you a change of clothes from his drawers. You somehow managed to get your shirt off and your shorts unbuttoned, but he had to help you get the new shirt on and change shorts.

The guy JJ shared a bathroom with’s girlfriend left makeup wipes and JJ helped you get all your makeup off. You kept making faces to be difficult because you liked the furrow between his eyebrows as he tried to focus on being gentle.

“I will intentionally poke you in the eyeball if you do not stop,” he warned.

Pouting, you poked his cheek, “Don’t bully me, I’m drunk.”

He threw the wipe away and looked at you exasperatedly, “Brush your teeth, your breath smells like a liquor store.”

Giggling, you grabbed your spare toothbrush from the drawer next to his and sloppily started brushing your teeth. JJ was standing behind you and leaning on you, trapping you between the counter and his body so you didn’t fall over or sway.

The bright bathroom lights plus the water were clearing your brain a little, but you were still gone and not really able to focus on anything for more than a few seconds at a time. You leaned back to feel his chest moving as he brushed his teeth and giggled at the feeling.

JJ sighed again and gently nudged you out of the way to spit and rinse in the sink and you followed suit, having forgotten to do so yourself. You followed him out of the bathroom and grabbed his hand as he led you back to his room.

From what you could remember, JJ slept on the left, so you climbed into the right side of his bed and stretched out comfortably. He crawled in behind you a few minutes later, and you turned around to look at him. He had a small smile on his face as he looked back at you and reached up to push a piece of hair that had fallen in your eyes out of the way.

Suddenly, you were overcome by the urge that you’d been fighting for over a year and you leaned forward to kiss him. He froze and you almost regretted it until he started kissing you back.

You stayed like that for what felt like hours but could’ve only been minutes until he rolled the two of you over so you were on your back and he was hovering over you. Your lips were only separated for a few seconds before he was kissing you again, more deeply than before.

Sighing into the kiss, you brought a hand up to his head and ran your fingers through his hair. He groaned lightly at the feeling and you felt a hand creeping up your thigh. Before it could get too far, you nudged his shoulders back to catch your breath. He kept stroking your thigh and you shifted, “Hey, can we wait maybe?”

“Wait for what?” JJ asked you, confused.

“To fuck,” you told him bluntly.

JJ huffed out a surprised laugh, “Oh, uh, yeah definitely.”

You grinned at him sheepishly, “Sorry, you’re my best friend and if we’re going to do this, I want to be sober and you know, really ready.”

“Right, yeah, I totally get it,” he reassured you, dropping back down next to you.

You sighed as he wrapped his arm around you again. Lifting your head, you let it rest on one of his biceps and drank in his facial features. He held onto one of your hands and played with your fingers, not looking at you directly.

“I’m sorry,” you told him, feeling a little uncertain.

JJ looked at you, furrow back between his eyebrows but a little different than before, “I’m the one who should be saying sorry.”

“What?” you asked, feeling the urge to press the wrinkle until it went away.

“For forcing myself onto you,” JJ mumbled.

Suddenly it felt like you couldn’t keep up with the conversation, “Wait what?”

He wouldn’t meet your eyes again, so you lifted his chin until the two of you were almost nose to nose. JJ shut his eyes, “You’re really drunk, I shouldn’t have ever returned the kiss because you might regret it in the morning.”

“No, I really do like you JJ, I just,” you paused, trying to find the right words, “I just want it to be special, I guess,” you trailed off, hoping it made sense.

JJ smiled gently and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, “We can talk about it tomorrow, yeah?”

With a giant yawn, you nodded and the last thing you remember is him running a hand through your hair and tangling your legs together.

[hermannsthumb]

39 for winter prompt please? It will be so cute!!!! College au...

39. i’m ready to pull out my hair because of winter finals when you offer me a free hot cocoa if i use your flashcards to quiz you for your exams

from winter writing prompts here

honestly this IS cute. and i just finished off my last finals myself so it’s topical. college au, with ideas pulled from this headcanon post I made over the summer especially

----------------------

It’s not technically Newt’s spot in the library, because it’s not like he’s stuck his name onto it or anything, and he only gets it about two-thirds of the times he comes in here to study, but he still thinks of it as being his. He usually turns right back around if it’s taken because it’s the best spot in the whole damn building; private, comfortable as hell, by the air vents (so there’s always a constant supply of either A/C or heat), with two working outlets (not just one), and close enough to the vending machines that Newt can sneak a granola bar or pretzels over while he does his work if he needs to without being snapped at by the librarian at the front desk. (You get crumbs in a computer keyboard one time.) Absolutely optimal circumstances for getting his work done. Newt’s never more productive in his schoolwork than when he sits his ass down in his spot for two hours and plugs in his earbuds.

Of course, on the eve of his massive biochem final, after he trudged all the way across campus in a stupid snowstorm, it would be taken; of course it would be taken by Hermann Gottlieb.

The two of them don’t get along by traditional standards, and they don’t really get along by Newt standards, either. Hermann is an international student in Newt’s year, on loan—indefinitely at this point, it feels like—from TU Berlin, though his prissy English accent doesn’t quite match up to what that and Gottlieb would suggest. He wears oversized, outdated clothing, has an intimidatingly brilliant mind, and typically sports a sour expression which matches his personality pretty marvelously. Newt would consider them rivals, in the sense that they’re pretty much neck-and-neck for the highest grade in their shared classes. He’s also Newt’s lab partner. And now he’s in Newt’s spot.

“Dude,” Newt says, sadly.

It cuts through the quiet room much more loudly than Newt intended. Hermann, who had been fixated on an imposing stack of notepaper, startles, and almost sends the top few pages floating to the ground. He pushes his glasses back up to glare at Newt. “What do you want?” he hisses.

“You’re in my spot,” Newt says.

Hermann rolls his eyes. “I didn’t see your bloody name on it. If you’re going to try to ask me to move, don’t bother. I’m not going to.” He turns a page of his notepaper aggressively; the entire thing is covered in one long equation Newt doesn’t recognize, written in Hermann’s cramped, messy scrawl. It must be for one of the two classes they don’t have together. “I’ve got a final tomorrow morning at—”

“Okay,” Newt says. “We’ll just have to share, then.” He grabs a nearby vacant chair and slides it up against the other side of the desk. It’s not his spot, but it���s still near the heating vents, and he still has access to the two outlets. As long as he knocks Hermann’s laptop charger out of one, anyway. At least Hermann was the one who took it and not a stranger.

“Hm,” Hermann says. He sniffs distastefully.

“I’ll be quiet,” Newt says.

Hermann flips another page.

“I hope you’re planning on completing your half of our final lab report,” he says. “It’s due next Tuesday. In case you’ve forgotten.”

“Just gotta proofread it,” Newt lies, because he had forgotten it, and he does still need to complete it. It’s not like it’ll take him more than ten minutes though. It’s under control. He hefts his way-too-heavy tote bag onto the desk, and the whole thing shudders; Hermann grabs the edge of his notepaper stack and eyes him warningly. “Anyway, I’ve got other shit to worry about right now. I have a final tomorrow morning, too.”

“Unfortunate,” Hermann says. “I suppose you won’t be leaving any time soon, then.”

“Not a chance,” Newt says. “Sorry, partner.”

They actually work in silence for the better part of an hour. Under normal circumstances—when it’s not finals, when they break apart from the main group for their labwork, or even when they sometimes, sometimes get coffee or a meal in the dining hall together—they’d be arguing about dumb shit by now, and probably would have been arguing for a while, but Newt suspects Hermann is as tired as he is. And as stressed. And as cold. (They really need to blast the heat in here already, damn it.) It’s kinda nice, actually, chilling with Hermann like this.

Newt doesn’t dare break the calm until he finishes translating his class notes into a stack of index cards, and taps Hermann’s arm awkwardly. Hermann heaves a sigh and fixes those dumb librarian glasses on him. “What is it, Newton?”

“Can you quiz me?” Newt says.

Hermann frowns. “Quiz you?”

“Please?” Newt says. He waves the cards in the air. “Please, please, please? You’d really be doing me a solid, dude. It’s only twenty cards. Or twenty-five. It’s just some definitions and—”

“Newton,” Hermann says. “I am sorry, but I am simply far too busy to even consider it. I—”

“Look, what if I quizzed you right back for your shit?” Newt says. “Or got you a snack or something? A coffee? They have those bottles of lattes in the vending machine by the water fountains. Or you can have all the rest of my semester meal swipes, I don’t even care, seriously. Or my meal points. You can—”

“Newton, please,” Hermann cuts in. “I don’t want your bloody—swipes, or points. I have enough of my own left as it is. I suppose I could use some caffeine, but…”

“On it,” Newt says.

The lattes are gone from the vending machine, of course, by the time Newt gets there. His only options are a doubleshot espresso energy drink (which he thinks might send Hermann, who pointedly only picks out the decaf tea bags in the dining hall, into cardiac arrest), or to stick a few quarters into an ancient-looking instant hot drink machine for either watery black coffee or watery hot chocolate. Newt digs around in his pockets and counts his spare change: he has enough for both. Mocha it is. Hope Hermann doesn’t mind.

“Oh, by Jove, that smells atrocious,” Hermann says when Newt slides it over. He wrinkles his nose. “What happened to the—?"

“All out,” Newt says. Who says By Jove? He slides over his index cards next, and Hermann picks them up glare. “Alright, let’s get started.”

They power through the stack; Newt does decently, enough to pass the final if he actually remembers all of it, which he thinks means he can call it a night. Hermann declines Newt’s offer to return the favor. “It would go over your head,” he insists. Like a smug bastard. Whatever. “But thank you for the…” (He clears his throat.) “Coffee.”

He hasn’t even touched it. Newt shrugs. “Sure. I guess I’ll call it a night, then.” He begins to shove his shit back into his tote bag. If he’s quick enough (and lucky enough), he might be able to catch one of the campus shuttles on its route past the library before they go out of service for the night, and he won’t have to walk through the snow again. “You wanna head out with me? We can walk back together from the shuttle stop.” He and Hermann don’t really live in dorms too close to each other’s, because Newt has one of the nicer upperclassman dorms and study abroad students get stuck with the freshman, but they’re at least on the same half of campus. They’ve walked back from class together sometimes before.

“Ah, no,” Hermann says. “I’ve got more work to do, I’m afraid. It’ll be some time before I’m finished.”

There are dark shadows under his eyes; Newt feels a twinge of sympathy. The thought of Hermann having to walk all the way back to his dorm, in the snow, and the dark, and the cold, all alone… “Hey, look,” Newt says. “What if I waited for you?” When Hermann begins to protest, Newt adds a quick lie: “I’m pretty sure I already missed the last shuttle, anyway, and I hate walking back home alone. It’s creepy.”

Hermann hms, and he shakes his head, and then—to Newt’s surprise—he nods. “Only if you’re sure,” he says.

“Totally,” Newt says.

He smiles and drops back down in his chair. He might be imagining it, but he’s sure (when Hermann returns the smile) that Hermann’s ears have gone a little pink.

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 29

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: At Waystation, pt 2/?

A/N: I feel I should open up about my plans re: the Waystation chapters, just so you guys know what to expect. Originally this chapter was going to be a whole lot longer, but to make my job a little bit easier, I cut it in half. So, that's why a short chapter, but the good news is that I am already working on the next one's editing so it should be out some time next (the upcoming) week! Mostly just fluff in this and the next chapter but I am hoping to dig a bit deeper into especially Leo's background story soon enough. Don't expect any major drama yet though, we wanna see our ship happy together before that, don't we? ;)

Thanks again to everyone who has supported me, and BIG thanks to my lovely friend Cris for supporting me in many ways with this (and the upcoming) chapter!! I struggled with it quite a bit (as I had to rewrite a whole scene etc) but your ideas and cheering for me really helped!

Enjoy and don’t forget to leave a comment! :)

Words: 1,8k 

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

...

It was the morning after Leo and Calypso’s arrival at Waystation, the Christmas Eve, and Leo woke up feeling weirdly light. Not because he particularly loved Christmas; he and everyone in the Waystation family considered themselves atheists so they didn’t care about the religious aspects of that holiday. Besides, Leo himself had some very bad memories from his previous Christmases before his time at Waystation. But since Georgina was still young, the family wanted to keep up with the traditions that children enjoyed; lots of food (especially chocolate), decorations and of course gifts.

This year the family had decided that the gifts would be self made. Leo felt excited when he imagined how Georgina would react to the present he had made for her. It was a photo album, full of pictures of Georgina doing various activities with her family, friends and Festus. To make the album even more personal, though, Leo had decorated the cover by painting some animals Georgie loved on it and adding some stickers as well. He had also added a funny caption below each photo, explaining what was happening in them in his own style. Festus would be getting his favorite dog treats and Jo and Emmie some spicy pastries Leo had learned to bake, along with a promise to fix whatever machine happened to break next in their household. When it came to Calypso’s present, Leo would still need to fine tune a bit before the next morning, but he was hoping she would like it… He had spent a lot of time making it whenever Calypso was at the university or work.

Imagining everyone’s reactions to their gifts wasn’t the only thing that made Leo feel unusually happy that morning. After the previous evening’s dinner he had checked his email and the platform where the professors shared the grades and to his relief he had passed every exam he had participated in (excluding the earlier failure at the lab class). The calculus and physics exams had gone well, but the biology for engineers had been a bit harder for him and the mandatory English class he had passed just barely. Either way, he was finished with the semester and the test results made him feel more optimistic about the future of his studies. Even though he still had moments of strong self doubt, he tried to imagine Calypso’s face when he’d tell her that he had managed to pass the lab classes. That never ceased to make him feel better.

The additional free time also lifted Leo’s spirits. When he thought about it, he hadn’t really had all too many moments just for himself that fall, being constantly busy with either university, fixing other people’s machines, or trying to deny his growing feelings towards his flatmate. In a way the distraction had been welcome because it had given Leo less time to dwell on the things he tried very hard to not think about. But now that he had a few days to stop and do whatever he wanted, he realized he had needed it. It felt good to be somewhere where he could let his inner child out again for a moment, with the people he cared about.

Somehow, he was even feeling more hopeful about the state of Calypso and his relationship. The fact that Calypso had agreed to join him at Waystation was already a good sign, and Leo was hoping that seeing how great people everyone at Waystation was would help her gain more trust in him and the other people around her. He wasn’t lying when he said he was not afraid of her father or anything else that might bother her. He had already seen too much to be scared of something like that.

That topic however started getting too much to the thing that Leo Absolutely Did Not want to think about, so he was relieved when he heard some sounds from the hallway. It sounded like little Georgina had also woken up and was now causing chaos everywhere she went because she was so excited about all things Christmas.

“Georgie, could you be a bit quieter? It’s still way too early to be that loud. I swear, if we were at our flat, we could hear you all the way there,” Leo groaned as he peeked into the hallway to chastise his little sister. “If you don’t care about me, I bet Calypso wouldn’t appreciate it eith… Hey!”

Leo couldn’t finish his sentence because he was interrupted by a pillow in his face.

“What was that for?” Leo asked once the pillow had fallen on the floor. The little girl just laughed and picked the pillow up again.

“Brother, are you saying that you had already forgotten that pillow fight is our annual Christmas Eve tradition?”

Leo’s eyes widened when he realized that she was indeed right. He had been so engrossed in his own thoughts that he had momentarily forgotten that this was what they used to do every Christmas. Instead of admitting that he had forgotten it aloud, though, he quickly bounced back, getting his own own pillow from his bed.

“Nah, I was only bluffing you!” he exclaimed before throwing the pillow at her.

“Big mistake!” Georgie yelled. “Because now I have two pillows!”

She started chasing Leo around the hallway and soon the entire floor was in chaos when Festus joined the group, also wanting to participate in ‘catch the pillow’ and ending up ripping one of them, spreading the fillings everywhere in the room. Finally, the noise woke up Calypso as well. She came out of her room and frowned at the sight.

“What in Zeus’ name is happening here?”

“Who is Zeus?” Georgina wanted to know.

“Just our annual mandatory pillow fight.” Leo ignored Georgina’s question, grinning from under the one pillow that still remained undamaged. Georgina had to let Leo free, though, because Festus looked like he wanted to show that pillow as well who the boss was.

Calypso’s frown melted into a soft smile as the information sunk in.

“Your annual mandatory pillow fight? But who does all the cleaning afterwards?”

She approached Leo, taking a feather from his shoulder. Even though she barely touched him, he found himself flinching at the touch. Not because it wasn’t welcome - quite the opposite. The gentle swipe on the shoulder made him want to throw all the rules out of the window and do something he’d regret. But suddenly Leo was reminded that he was still wearing only his underwear and he was having a very difficult time trying to stay nonchalant when he replied:

“Sunshine, we won’t worry about that until the fight is over.” He wagged his finger.

“Oh, I see.” Leo swore he had never seen Calypso prettier than when a mischievous smile spread on her face. “Does that mean the loser has to clean the mess?”

“What makes you think… Hey, watch it, Georgie!” Leo yelped quickly. The girl had lowered the pillow to Festus’ face level and the dog had seen his opportunity when he had noticed that Georgina was too distracted by the conversation to be keeping the pillow out of his range. He snatched the pillow into his teeth and started running away before the others had a chance to stop him from ripping it.

“Festus, be a good boy,” Leo demanded but the dog wasn’t listening. “That’s my favorite pillow; I’d rather you tear one of your own teddy bears apart.”

Leo went to get one of Festus’ toys from the toy box and tried to trade with the dog, but still no success. Apparently the sight of Leo crouching in front of Festus holding the toy while the dog was chewing the pillow, ready to run whenever Leo got too close was too funny for Calypso who along with Georgina started laughing at him.

“Really, Sunshine? How about you come here if you have a better strategy,” he muttered, slightly embarrassed.

“Okay,” Calypso accepted the challenge. She did otherwise the same thing as Leo but used a slightly gentler approach.

“Festus, I know that pillow is nice to chew on, especially because the smell reminds you of your favorite human, but we’d be very happy if you did not spread the feathers everywhere. You like this penguin, don’t you?” She showed him a toy she had picked. “Wouldn’t you like to try this instead?”

Leo’s mouth nearly dropped when the dog gave up on his ‘toy’ without even growling at Calypso, smugly taking the plushie into his mouth instead.

“I see how it is,” he said. “Just listening to the ladies, are you? Well, can’t blame you for that, amigo. These two are the bosses here.” He petted Festus briefly before turning around, realizing too late that it was too quiet in the room.

“What in the…”

The girls had disappeared from his view, but as he started looking for them from the possible hiding places, the pillow flew in his face again.

“So funny, you guys!” he growled.

“Sorry, Leo! I just couldn’t resist!” Calypso appeared from behind the sofa, still chuckling at his expression. “Georgina made me.”

“Thinking you can win the Unbeatable Pillow Master? I don’t think so,” Leo declared and started chasing the girls. Soon the trio (and Festus) were a laughing and panting pile on the floor after an intense battle, Leo’s favorite pillow torn now, but he couldn’t have minded less. As they laid there, Calypso’s shoulder was resting against his and she was not putting any effort into moving it away.

“Still unbeatable?” She sounded pretty amused despite being out of breath.

“It was two against one!” Leo exclaimed. “Besides, you have to clean too because you’re a rookie. It’s a new rule.”

“A rule you just came up with.”

“Maybe, but you don’t wanna see what Jo and Emmie would say if they saw this mess. They may be nice people but if there’s something they hate… it’s pillow fillings all over the floor and furniture.”

“Alright… I believe you.”

Georgina took Festus outside while Leo and Calypso started cleaning the hallway, working together effortlessly as they had many times before at their flat. They kept casting shy glances at each other from time to time, and eventually Leo asked:

“Did you have fun? I mean, with the pillow fight?”

“Hated it.” Calypso stuck his tongue out at him, but then added pretty quickly: “The truth is, I don’t think I’ve done anything like this before… Not even when my sister was around. So it’s nice. Different.”

“That’s… that’s good then.” Leo nodded, then continued in more of his usual style: “Valdez & Co, always ready to give people new experiences!”

“Uhhuh, please don’t make that your new slogan,” Calypso snorted. “I did have fun, though.”

The light feeling from earlier that morning returned to Leo. “And you still have plenty of Waystation secrets to unlock so I predict it’s gonna be even more fun!”

[ellewritesathing]

(Un)Requited  -  I.L. III

Summary: Isaac Lahey had gone through many twists and turns in his life, but none of them compared to the whiplash he got when you asked him to tutor you. With a few weeks until the end of the semester and the big dance coming up, he’s hoping to figure out a way to ask you to go with him before it’s too late.

Masterlist Prev. | Part 3

Word-count: 3.1k+

A/N: i really need to work on updating this fic but i’ve finally figured out more or less what to do with this story line so hopefully my updates will be a bit more regular!!

Whenever Isaac thought he was getting better at functioning around you, you always found a way to prove him wrong. 

It had been a week since you developed the Get The Girl game plan, and he’d been spending a lot of time with you ever since. Isaac had left notes and corrections on your algebra homework that made you smile, figured out the kind of jokes that made you laugh, and had gone to your house a few times to study together (and only once had any actual studying been done). Magnus still hated him, but he was slowly but surely winning over Max and the rest of your family. 

You even sat in the stands whenever he had lacrosse practice and committed his schedule to memory - when Isaac knew full-well that you knew nothing about lacrosse. 

Things were looking up. At this rate, Isaac might actually have the courage to ask you out and have the tiniest, most microscopic chance of you saying yes. 

And then the weekend came and you took him to the mall to buy some new clothes and get a haircut. 

It was nothing too serious - Isaac had even said something that made you laugh over lunch - but now he was sitting in the salon chair and you were running your hands through his hair while the two of you waited for the hairdresser. 

Isaac knew it was an absent-minded gesture while you thought of what to do with him, but he couldn’t help the way it made him feel. He was surprised you couldn’t hear how his heart beat out of his chest every time you started combing through a new section, almost as surprised that you hadn’t noticed that he wasn’t paying attention to a word you said. 

“So what do you think?” you asked, dropping your hands on the top of Isaac’s shoulders (sadly). The touch still made him malfunction, but it was easier now that your hands were still and your eyes were focused on his in the mirror.

“I, uh- I think that sounds like a good idea,” Isaac said, trying to look like he’d been listening. He’d meant to, honestly, but it was literally impossible for him to focus around you.

Two social steps forward and about a billion back.

“Really? I thought you’d hate bleaching it,” you said. 

Isaac’s heart nearly exploded. “Bleach?” 

“And a mohawk.” 

“Oh, you’re messing with me for zoning out,” Isaac said. Though he would have been perfectly content to have a bleach blonde mohawk if it made you happy, he pretended to be cooler than he actually was by nodding at your reflection in the mirror. “I see how it is.” 

“It was too good an opportunity to pass up,” you laughed, lifting your hands back to his hair. “What I was thinking is a little shorter on the sides but keeping the top as it is. It would break my heart if we cut off your curls.” 

“Well, we wouldn’t want that,” Isaac said, too softly to be a part of his cool guy routine. Your teasing smile faded into something a bit more genuine. “Sounds good. For real this time.”

Before you had the chance to answer, the hairstylist came over and started occupying your time. As happy as it made Isaac to hear you laughing and talking with them, an ugly pang of jealousy shot through him. 

Derek had explained to Isaac when he turned that sometimes he’d feel emotions that weren’t necessarily his own. Those emotions were why anchors were so important, because otherwise Isaac would drift in a sea of emotions and they’d eventually consume him. At the time, Derek was talking about anger, but Isaac knew this had to be a part of it, too. 

Isaac just wanted you to be happy, he didn’t care who it was with or if it had anything to do with him. 

He spent the better part of the appointment trying to convince himself that he wasn’t a jealous bastard that didn’t deserve the time of day, and by the time his blowdry was done, he was back to his normal semi-functional self. 

You beamed at his hair as he stood up and ruffled it slightly, only to be laughed at by the hairstylist. Isaac couldn’t hear very well over his heart beating so loudly and with his ears recovering from the force of the hairdryer, but he could have sworn the hairstylist said something about you two being a cute couple on your way out. 

Isaac didn’t have time to dwell on the comment, though, because soon enough you were dragging him into stores he’d never been to and picking out things for him to try on. 

It was awkward at first. Isaac had lost the ability to talk to you as well as the ability to make a decision. The result was a clumsy collection of clothing and a very awkward moment before Isaac closed the changing room door with you on the other side. 

After a brief pep talk, Isaac started trying on the clothes. They weren’t bad, they just weren’t what he would normally wear. He hadn’t exactly made it easy to shop for him what with his inability to speak but he still couldn’t help feeling out of place in the stuff you’d picked out. 

When he came out, you were sitting on a bench, leaning your head against the wall and scrolling through something on your phone. You brightened up when you saw him and his heart melted, but he shook his head and placed the clothes on the return counter. 

“You didn’t like any of it?” you asked as you got to your feet. 

Isaac shook his head and sighed. “Nah, it’s not that it’s just … I haven’t really worn anything that wasn’t Camden’s first.” He blinked a few times. Where did that come from? There was no way you wouldn’t realize he was a loser now. 

“Oh,” you said quietly, dropping your gaze to your shoes. “I should have-” You looked back up at Isaac and gave him a smile. “You wanna get out of here?”

“Yeah, I’d go anywhere with you,” Isaac said before he could stop himself. He made a mental note to ask Erica to slap some sense into him when he got home.

Instead of groaning and calling him cheesy, you laughed and looped your arm around his. “Come on. I’ll buy you some ice cream on our way out.” 

The ice cream had sent shivers up your spine so, somewhere between the store and parking lot, Isaac had given you his jacket. You wore it as you drove him home, and Isaac couldn’t help but think how much better it looked on you than it did on him. 

Isaac tried to think of an excuse to not get out of the car once it was parked outside the loft, but he came up empty. He was about to thank you for the ride and the attempted shopping trip when you started talking. 

“It’s Erica, isn’t it?” you asked, staring through the windshield at where Erica was harassing Derek at the entrance to the building. She was having the time of her life and Derek looked ready to drink. 

Isaac let out a laugh. He wondered if she wanted money or if she was just having fun giving Derek a migraine. “Yeah, that’s her.” 

You bit your lip as you stared out the windshield. After a moment, you turned to look at Isaac with a somewhat indecipherable look on your face. “I think she’ll say yes.” 

“Wait, what?” Isaac asked. He had no idea what you thought Erica would say yes to, or how you got there from asking for her name. 

“Yeah, I don’t think you needed to cut your hair or change anything to get her attention,” you said, still not making any sense. “When you ask her to the dance, I think she’ll say yes.” Isaac tried very hard not to frown at you, but it probably wasn’t working because you kept talking before he could say anything. “You’re a really great guy, Isaac. If she doesn’t see that then she’s crazy.” 

“Right,” Isaac said slowly. It was the only thing he could think of to say. He had no idea how to untangle the mess he’d gotten himself into or how to explain to you that he and Erica were the farthest thing from romantic prospects. “Thanks.” 

“Yeah, of course,” you said with a smile. “I’ll see you after practice on Monday?” 

“Yeah, sure. See you.”

Isaac got out of the car, feeling dazed and confused, and waved at you as you disappeared down the street. How had he gone from feeling like he had a shot with you this morning to asking Erica to the dance? 

---

“No way,” Erica said, not looking up from the nail she was painting. 

She’d refused to stop painting them, even though the smell of the open bottle made everyone in the loft feel nauseous. Today, she’d picked out a metallic shade called Black and Blue - no doubt because anyone who got close enough to see the color would be left black and blue. 

Isaac attempted to come closer but stopped when Erica slid the bottle closer to him. “Come on, I never ask you to do anything!” 

“Oh, please. You ask me to do crap for you all the time.”

“Name one other time.” 

“Two hours ago you asked to copy my English homework because, and I quote ‘it’s a Crime and Punishment that I have to read this,’” Erica said. She looked up at him with a sly smile. “And you say you’re not witty.” 

It didn’t take a genius to see that Erica had won that angle of the argument, so Isaac changed tactics. “What if I cover for you next Thursday so you can go to that concert Derek said you’d only go to once he was dead?” 

Erica hummed and looked back down at her nails. She touched up her left ring finger before looking back up at Isaac, knowing that he’d use that time to think up several other options to offer her when she said no. “Is it really that important to you that this girl knows I’d never in a million years date you?” 

“Not how I’d phrase it, but yeah,” Isaac said. He slid into the seat across from Erica and carefully placed the lid over the bottle. 

Erica looked at him for a hard moment and then sighed. “Fine. Then I’ll find a reason to talk to her and tell her you’re not my type.” 

Isaac leaned over the table and kissed her cheek before racing out of the room to ensure he didn’t end up black and blue. “You’re the best, Erica. Have fun at the concert!” 

“Concert?” Derek asked, catching Isaac’s arm as he ran past him. 

“Definitely not,” Isaac said with a grin. He leaned in and kissed Derek’s cheek for good measure. The poor man was so off-guard that Isaac shook out of his grip without using any supernatural influences. 

---

Isaac had come up with a plan. It wasn’t a very good one, but it was the only one he had. He’d go to practice and try to be the best player on the field to impress you, and then when you guys were sitting on the bleachers and he went through his homework, he’d explain this whole scheme to you. Hopefully, the speech he’d prepared would be eloquent and he wouldn’t just throw up words all over you, but that was a risk he had to take. 

The ‘being the best player’ part kind of failed because, aside from all his issues, Isaac was very distracted by a chemo-signal in the air: nervousness. It was everywhere, but particularly near the bench and bleachers. 

He tried to put the first failure aside as he showered and changed into a shirt he thought you’d like. Instead, he went over his speech once more in his head to make sure it sounded halfway decent. 

Hey, so I know this is really weird but I need to come clean: I’ve had a crush on you ever since our brothers first dumped us on each other when we were kids. I’ve never wanted to ask Erica to the dance; I’ve only ever wanted to go with you but I never thought I had a chance with you so I lied. It was stupid, but I can’t change that now and I guess what I’m trying to say is … will you go to the dance with me?

Isaac groaned and hit his head against his locker. The speech was awful, but if he didn’t tell you the truth then he was pretty sure he was going to combust. 

He was still trying to psych himself up to talk to you when he walked back over to the bleachers and heard you laughing. Then he picked the chemo-signal up again. You were nervous. 

And you were talking to Stiles Stilinski. 

That ugly feeling of jealousy shot through him again, and Isaac worked to convince himself he was overreacting as he made his way over. 

“Hey, guys,” Isaac said evenly. He smiled at you and shot Stiles a very deliberate look. “What’s up?”

“Stiles was just telling me this story about one of your away games. Did you really fall off the bleachers right before the match and sprain your ankle?” you asked, mouth pulled up in an amused smile. It wasn’t malicious but it felt different than the one you usually gave him. 

“Uh, yeah. I guess I did,” Isaac said stiffly. “Back in freshman year. Did Stiles tell you about the time he drove his Jeep through the other team��s equipment and forced us to forfeit?” 

You whipped your head around to laugh at Stiles. Again, not maliciously. Just different. This time it was more like you and Stiles had a secret that Isaac didn’t know about. “No way, seriously?”

“Seriously. But in my defense, Scott was distracting me,” Stiles said, not sounding very defensive. He had a surprisingly easy smile on his face that made Isaac want to punch him. “But, uh, speaking of Scott, I should probably get going before he starts asking strangers for rides and becomes a seven o’clock special.” 

You laughed again and gave him a matching easy smile. “Can’t have that, can we?” 

“Definitely not,” Stiles said. His eyes flicked over to Isaac for a second before turning his attention back to you. “So I’ll see you on Friday?”

“Yeah, looking forward to it,” you said. Stiles started heading down the bleachers and you let out a small sigh before gathering up your stuff. He looked at you over his shoulder and you waved at him. 

It was amazing how such small movements made Isaac feel sick to his stomach; a smile here, a laugh there, and now a wave. 

Isaac adjusted his backpack and tried not to look as jealous as he felt. “So what’s on Friday?” 

“Oh, uh-” You pushed a piece of hair behind your ear and shrugged. There was a strange kind of nervousness rolling off you. “Stiles asked if I wanted to go to the dance with him so I suggested we do a trial run before then.” 

“Like a date?” 

“Yeah, like a date,” you said. Your expression was funny; it looked like you were trying to figure something out how Isaac felt about it, but Isaac didn’t know why his feelings would matter. “What do you think of that?” 

Isaac thought that everything made sense now. You’d never been interested in sports, and yet you came to every one of his lacrosse games and had the entire practice schedule memorized. Like an idiot, Isaac had thought all your questions meant you had taken an interest in him. 

Clearly, he wasn’t that far off. You still weren’t interested in lacrosse, you were just interested in Stiles. 

The same Stiles who hated him, made fun of him, and kept him from joining Scott’s pack for the longest time. Everything Isaac did, Stiles found a way to do better - despite being mind-numbingly human.

Stiles had a particular charm that Isaac couldn’t stand but everyone else seemed to love. He was witty, and kind, and some might say he was even good looking. And Isaac thought, most of all, that after going out with a guy like Stiles, there was no way you would ever want to go out with him.

“I think that’s great,” Isaac said with a tight smile. His heart was beating out of his chest and if you were like him, you would have known he was lying. 

But you were human - you didn’t know. 

Still, you frowned. Either Isaac said something wrong or you felt conflicted about something. The frown was only there for a second before you replaced it with a smile only slightly different to the one you usually wore, closer to the nervous one you’d given him when you asked him to tutor you. “You do?” 

“Yeah,” Isaac lied again. If there was one thing his time with you had made Isaac realize, it was that having a place in your life - even a place as a friend with unrequited feelings - was better than no place at all, and he wasn’t going to screw that all up by telling you how he felt. He took a deep breath. “But, uh, do you mind if we talk about this some other time? Derek texted when I was in the locker room and he needs my help with something at the loft.” 

You blinked a few times, trying to piece together the quick change in pace. “Oh, uh, do you want me to drive you?” 

Your pained expression almost made Isaac spill his guts right there. He couldn’t risk spending any more time with you. “No, he’s coming to pick me up.” 

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow?” you asked, eyebrows knitting together as you looked at him, despite the smile on your face. 

“Yeah, sure. Not like those problems are going to solve themselves, right?” Isaac asked. He did his best to give you a reassuring smile. 

Your smile faltered for a second, but then it was back on your face and covering up any other thoughts. “Right.” 

Isaac left pretty quickly after that, with one thought clear in his mind: Out of everyone in the entire school to go out with, why did you have to pick Stiles Fucking Stilinski?

Tagged: @lettherebelovex​  @britty443​  @ietts  @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane​

[teruthecreator]

THS IS A ROBBERY 🔫YOUR ROLESWAP LORE!!! HAND IT OVER 🤲if u want 2 :)

just took my melatonin bc i have to wake up at 4:30 AM to drive 16 hours to my mother’s so i’m sorry if this becomes derailed but uh. here’s the roleswap lore! or, at least, everything i’ve decided (along with matthew and corinne bc the three of us tagteamed on it) 

gonna chuck it all under a readmore bc this is going to get long

so first off, just gonna run out in front and say i have no idea how this fits into graduation plot. i haven’t gotten that in plot consideration, given their character differences in comparison to their canonical selves. so, for the most part, it’s a lot of background establishment and character traits. but i do have a few plot bits that i’ve figured out bc i thought it was cool. why such a long preamble? i don’t know. help me

fitzroy maplecourt: 

first off, he’s not called sir!!! because he doesn’t go to knight school! 

my idea for his backstory is that the way he decides to grapple with his identity crisis/imposter syndrome (which he definitely Still has) is that instead of becoming a grander, larger than life version of himself. he just. goes the opposite.

not necessarily becoming a degenerate (bc he just smokes pot and that’s not bad he’s just vibing)??? but more just like. leaning into the laid-back nature of life that one might pick up from a lifetime in rural country. 

he goes to a liberal arts school a ways away and just decides to bum around and take life not seriously. he develops a pretty large group of acquaintances being a hippie stoner; he doesn’t really pursue a degree either. i think if he picked up any major it was probably like. an art major or an english but he basically fails most of his classes bc he doesn’t care! 

unlike his canonical counterpart, fitzroy doesn’t mind being called nicknames!! ones i think he has the most are fitz or roy, but basically you could call him anything and he’ll respond. that is because, instead of clinging to the concept of his identity bc it’s the only thing he feels he has, his identity is nebulous!! he doesn’t understand it and it scares him too much to be concrete, so he just lets people decide shit about him for him. 

his personal philosophy is more about floating through life and letting people assume shit about him than having a solid personality and backstory that people understand and recognize. it is a more dissociative way of having an identity crisis! how fun! he also barely talks about his past, and what he does talk about are cherrypicked points of his past that fit his narrative of being a casual down-to-earth hippie

 the moment that this all changes is when order decides to pop in and grant him powers!!!! wahoo!!!! here’s how that happens: 

he’s baked out of his fucking gourd in his dorm room, in the spring semester of his junior year. he’s alone (which is rare) and he’s maybe a little sad, but he decides to just ignore it. he looks at his table and laughs. “hehe, what if this table just. blew up?” he says to himself. it isn’t that funny, but he laughs. then he lays his hand on the table. 

the table blows up.

after that, he has magic!!! 

i’m going to go into detail a little bit later about how fitzroy’s magic manifests in the roleswap universe, but i wanna get through the backstory first. basically, he gets really freaked out after his magic comes to him because it is So New and Wow What and What The Fuck.

he realizes that this new addition to his character Completely changes how people who know him would perceive him (as a bum stoner chill guy), and he can no longer have control of his narrative with this magic business. so he drops out!

well, he actually just transfers. to a school far, far away where people will never know who he was and he can rebuild his narrative with this magic incorporated into it. he chooses wiggenstaff’s because he figures the school would have more of a knowledge of magic than his libarts school, which would mean he could understand why the fuck weed gave him magic (sidenote: it wasn’t weed, obvs, but he thinks this so for a while he doesn’t smoke!) 

he is now the chill hippie of wiggenstaff’s!!! most people like him because his personality is fairly easy to digest; some people think he shouldn’t be there, but he is! he starts out as a sidekick and he would’ve honestly been fine with that forever, but then he’s suddenly thrust into the hero track!!! wow!!!! i will also explain this with the magic. 

but yeah!! that’s fitzroy, for the most part. now we’ll move onto the other boy

argonaut keene:

he actually prefers if people call him argonaut, but he’s less likely to correct people than canon fitzroy Or canon argo. he’s a tad bit shyer in this universe!

argo’s backstory pretty much follows the same idea of his canonical background, but with some key differences that shape him into the character he is in the present! 

basically he still grows up on shebrie’s ship, surrounded by crewmates and the salty sea air. but his fascination with the sea doesn’t manifest into this swashbuckling lifestyle that he has in canon. 

what fascinates him more is the ship itself. how it functions, how water wears down wood, how directional currents can affect navigation. basically, he becomes invested in the sciences part of sealife more than the pirateering. he has special interests in marine biology, but his heart remains in nautical engineering. figuring out ways to make the ship run better, faster, and more efficiently consumes his childhood thoughts!

shebrie encourages her son’s craving for knowledge with tomes and books from all over the world about anything related to engineering and nautical things. he’s homeschooled, basically, but he becomes rather intelligent within a few short years! 

and then, well....shebrie dies. yeah we aren’t escaping that finality, sorry folks. that part of canon Still Applies.

after shebrie’s death (coughMURDERcough), argo is. traumatized! and he makes the decision to almost entirely sever himself from his life on the sea. it’s all too painful to look back upon--the times he spent studying with his mother in the captain’s quarters, rattling off dolphin facts as they sailed onward, dreaming of turning gears as the ship gently rocked him to sleep--and so he just decides to throw the whole thing out!

he can’t ignore his lifetime of education, though, so he continues to pursue it. with the remainder of money his mother left behind, he enrolls himself in a boarding school of science and technology, with plans to continue study in Only engineering. no more nautical Anything on his roster.

eventually, when he is old enough and graduates high school, he roams around...trying to figure out what to do. he doesn’t have enough money for college, so he can’t continue his scholarly efforts yet. he works around, job-to-job, city-to-city, and just notices how...delayed everything feels. like society is suffering under this slow pace towards innovation. 

and that’s when he decides his next course of action. if he were to discover the root of some problem and engineer a solution, he would be famous! he would gain notoriety and praise and--and all the things his mother had as a captain. but he would have it on his own, separate from his mother, and separate from his past. 

he figures out his next course of action: attend a school that will give his prestigious enough marks to be accepted onto a research team, find a problem, solve it, help the world, maybe earn a little bit of that credit and respect that would make him feel like he was doing his mother proud. 

the thing i want to emphasize here is that argo’s take on helping the world comes from that morality that canon fitzroy has. canon fitzroy wanted to be a knight because he wanted to fairly and justly instill ideas of “good” and “bad” onto the world. roleswap argo has a similar moral sense, but instead of establishing rules he wants to fix the “bad” and make it “good” in a technological/scientific sense.

the only school argo can think of that can get him that kind of notoriety is wiggenstaff’s. getting onto the HOG board would mean he’d have access to countless resources and be respected by a large audience, which would give him the opportunity to make change happen. even if he’s only a sidekick On Paper, what matters is that the diploma would give him the ability to Apply to the HOG. so he drafts a carefully worded letter for a scholarship and achieves a full-ride!!! epic 

like fitzroy’s magic, i’m going to break down argo’s relation to the unbroken chain after i get through backstory stuff. but trust me, I’ve Thought Of It

argo sort of blends into the background at wiggenstaff’s. or, he would, if his roommates/friends weren’t so Fucking Out There. fitzroy is enough to make him always be visible, but even the firbolg’s massive frame means eyes are always on him. which makes him nervous!! he doesn’t like the attention (as opposed to his canonical self, who revels in it for the self-esteem fuel) his insecurities manifest more in what he’s Doing rather than what he Is, mostly because his identity is barricaded by a wall of trauma repression

he’s still plenty funny and witty, just quieter. also he’s a lot Meaner than canon argo, at least to me. because if you irritate him he Will just completely shut you down with words. motherfucker doesn’t bark but he will most DEFINITELY bite

that’s their backstories, for the most part! in terms of how they interact together:

as established, they meet prior to wiggenstaff’s on a tinder date (during the grace period of argo working odd jobs and fitzroy about to be granted immense fucking power) and end up casually dating during the course of their wiggenstaff education. argo is a nervous goober and fitzroy just likes making him blush. it’s very cute.

fitzroy is still less inclined for the romantic than argo, who remains a steadfast absolute romantic internally. fitzroy still holds a lot of the self-doubt and distrust that canon fitzroy has, only it manifests in him not taking anything seriously! which means when he catches Feelings feelings he basically freaks out 

argo still falls in love really quickly, only now he’s more conflicted about it because being in love means trusting and trust means communication and communication means Oops Years Of Trauma Are Being Unloaded Uh Oh! 

now i’m going to touch on the big points that i find really interesting: fitzroy’s magic and argo’s relation to the unbroken chain

fitzroy’s magic:

chaos is not the being that grants him magic. it’s order! 

my take on what this means for what deity is on what plane of reality is that chaos is more Needed so they are the one that is physically On Nua, while Order remains in dreamscapes because they are already a constant amongst the tangible world. yes i know this directly contradicts the reasoning for why theyre Supposed to be where in canon, leave me alone i’m having fun. 

my reasoning for this switch is because chaos stands to be a contradiction to everything canon fitzroy has going on. he has a very strict, nailed-down understanding of himself and the world. everything he thinks is in black and white, bold statements, no questions, he follows rules and obeys the law. untiiiiil chaos gives him magic and shocks him out of that complacency. they lean into his inner impulses and that rage he’s kept locked deep inside. they allow for magic to Explode out of him, rather in calculated bursts or with intent. 

which is why order is more fitting for roleswap fitzroy!! because fitzroy, in this world, has less of a concrete grasp of himself and the world. he purposely lets himself be nebulous and goes with the flow. thinking of the future in real terms is not something fitzroy Does, he has no plans and that’s Fine. order seeks to give fitzroy a backbone, to put it simply. 

his magic doesn’t go impulsively out of him. it is calculated--it comes with thoughts and intentions. the reason it surprises fitzroy when the table blows up is because he didn’t think his thoughts or wants would amount into that, but that’s what order is trying to show him. that his intentions matter. that he matters and he has to Think and Focus and Be Here.

i’m still not sure if his power would manifest as lightning??? because the imagery for the lightning works perfectly for canon fitzroy because of the random power of lightning strikes. but for roleswap fitzroy it’s more like...thunder. like Purpose. thunder happens because of a reaction--it comes with intent. if differing air temperatures collide, it creates thunder. that combination is purpose + intent equating in magic. 

i think that part needs word bc like. how would one quantify thunder?? i think fire might also work really well because the idea of a controlled fire. like things have to Happen in order for fire to start, it can’t just appear like lightning can. 

order’s manipulation relies more heavily on the concept of boosting him up as a savior/hero, rather than boosting his ego and desire for power. fitzroy Has no desires in roleswap world--he’s just there. but when he gets put on the hero track, now he’s suddenly been given purpose. and order uses that to be like “wow, look at all these people who rely on you! look how important you are! don’t you want to use this magic for good?? to do good?? start a war with a demon come on pussy :-)”

OH YEAH also he becomes a hero in this universe (like in terms of tracks) because of the fact that it directly contradicts how he views himself. for canon fitzroy, it was showing him how much more he is capable of without the restrictions of morals (i.e, king fitzroy). but roleswap fitzroy doesn’t Have an image he wants to bolster! he doesn’t think he needs it and, frankly, he doesn’t care for it. the hero tracks carries with it all these stereotypes and expectations that now directly contradict his personality--thus showing him he is capable of more.

okay now for argo’s business jesus christ this post is so long and im NOT EVEN DONE WITH ALL THE POINTS I WANTED TO MENTION

argo’s relation to the unbroken chain:

so since roleswap argo has less of an association with his past (and, by extension, the memory of his mother), he is less inclined to join the mysterious cult that his mother was a part of. 

moreover, he doesn’t necessarily believe the shit he’s told??? he’s way more skeptical of jackal than canon argo is--immediately questioning why and how jackal knew his mother, and constantly trying to poke holes through his narrative.

generally speaking, if you try to talk to roleswap argo about his mother or his past, he Shuts Down. like completely. and that usually results in him snapping at you or just clamming up completely. mostly he just gets really snippy and angry because Hey Shut Up Dickhead I Don’t Want To Talk About It

a part of me still isn’t sure whether or not argo would take the unbroken chain up on their offer. but i also know that, plot wise and character arc wise, it is a necessary part of argo’s story. so i think, at most, he agrees but is extremely hesitant and might even let fitzroy on immediately once he’s given the task of digging into fitzroy’s life

also, they’re boyfriends in this universe, so how could he Really keep it a secret for that long. come on jackal, you idiot, you know they’re kissing. 

i think he’d Eventually warm up to jackal as a sort of father figure, but only after many nights of conversation and dancing around the subject of shebrie.

OH YEAH. this argo doesn’t know the commodore murdered his mother! important to note! he just assumes what he was told was true, that she sailed into dangerous territory and was ambushed. 

during the tribunal bit If That Even Happens In This World, i think fitzroy actually is the one who figures it out Before argo. and once argo does, well............fuck!

OKAY last little bit, just gonna talk about some random extra parts of the world that i’ve thought of already: 

in this universe, grey takes on higglemas’s identity instead of hieronymous’s!!! this is for good reason actually

okay so basically my thought was that, instead of whatever happened in canon yadda yadda dog time, hieronymous and grey are fighting and it’s a pretty evenly matched battle. there’s a cooldown moment where hiero thinks he’s safe but grey uses sneaky backhanded tactics to try and get the drop on him. 

only higgs sees it in time and saves his brother, taking the hit himself. he collapses, extremely wounded, and hiero rushes to his aid. he’s cradling his brother’s body, trying to keep him alive, when grey approaches to deliver the final blow. 

hiero is completely crushed and defeated and basically will let grey do anything to him by this point. the only thing he begs of is to let him live long enough to save his brother.

now, grey isn’t nice. let me make that clear. grey fucking SUCKS and the reason he agrees is because he wants a Real War with hiero and he can’t get that if hiero is basically like “if you let higgs die then you might as well kill me”.

so, grey agrees, and hiero ends up saving higgs by turning him into a cat. was supposed to be a temporary solution until he could find a better spell, but he wasn’t the magic guy in the duo. eventually, grey gets tired of waiting and decides to do some other shit. like turning the school the brothers have been running into a backalley place for demons!!

he takes the form of higglemas and leaves hieronymous locked in his office as basically a mascot. he’s like the queen and grey is the parliament--grey makes all the rules, but everyone assumes it’s hiero. faux-higgs is more on the ground, changing things and making the school a place more fitting for an eventual war. he builds up the concept of heroes and villains being Real, in the hopes he can sway some mortals to his side when he’s able to open a portal to hell. 

hiero still tries to stop this from happening, but his pride and his self-image is wounded by what happened. he feels guilty and puts the blame entirely on him, instead of doing the whole cowardice route like higgs did in canon. he gets people to help him eventually, via mind control and all tht jazz. 

also in this universe, buckminster is the one who gets birdified instead of leon!! has to do with my leon/buckminster and higgs/hiero narrative parallels that i’ve thought of for far too long.

firbolg is exactly the same in this universe. it is hard to swap three people and i didn’t want to think about him. 

fitzroy doesn’t pick a grab. i think he’d rather a lizard, like a bearded dragon. he names him something stupid. like scaly. or kyle. 

uhhh yeah!!! i think that’s....everything i’ve thought of so far!! lemme know if you wanna hear my takes on any other elements in the roleswap world!!!!

[tensonline]

Chapter 2

WE ARE THE LOVESICK GIIIIIIIIIiiiiiIiiiiiiIIIIIIRLSSSSS

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Wait, so let me get this straight. Do you want to date this guy? Or do you just wanna fuck him?”

“_____, please stop fucking athletes. You have a type and it’s shitty men who have two brain cells.”

“OKAY,” you yelled. “I get it! I like my men that know how to juggle balls and can juggle me! IS THAT CRIME?!”

“No! But what about some cute English major? Or a sociology one? You like sociology!” Jisoo insisted.

“First of all bitch, English majors are pretentious so how dare you,” you snapped, “Have you not seen You? Everyone knows to stay away from them. And sociology majors are only good for arguing on Twitter. They suck at sex.”

“Um fuck you? I’m a sociology major and  I--” Jennie started

You interrupted her, “I do not need to know about you and Jisoo’s sex life. Please. Not all of us like romantic candlelit sex. I want someone to choke me and degrade me! I love being degraded! Have either of you been thrown around? Or tried orgasm denial?”

Jisoo scowled. “No, you freak. Some of us don’t like being rough.”

“Yeah,” Jennie sniffed. “There’s nothing wrong with vanilla sex. So what if I like to have my room smell like A Thousand Wishes and have Alina Baraz playing while I’m fucking? Also, who wants to have their orgasm be denied? Isn’t that, like, the opposite of what someone would want in sex?”

You gaped at her, “Oh my god. I’m going to ignore that last question and focus on what’s more disturbing. Are you serious, bitch? A Thousand Wishes is the scent you pick from Bath and Body Works? There are better ones.”

“Ooo, really? Which ones do you recommend?” Jennie lights up as she asks.

“Okay, you need to try---”

“Oh my god, can we focus?!” Jisoo hisses. She looks between you and her girlfriend and sighs when you both turn to her with incredulous faces.

Of course both of you thought she was crazy for interrupting the conversation.

“Look, _____” Jisoo sighs, “You don’t think this is a bad idea? You work with this guy. What if it makes things awkward?”

“It won’t,” you dismiss while waving a hand around,  “He’s chill. I’m chill. We’re both grown and can handle sleeping together while staying… colleagues. Acquaintances. Whatever the hell we are.”

Jisoo and Jennie shared a look. They both knew that once you set your sights on someone, it was only a matter of time until you sunk your claws into them. Their warnings were only going to fly right over your head. Usually, your friends would admire how determined you are when you want to achieve something and wouldn’t let anyone deter you. Any other day they would admire your perseverance.

Today wasn’t that day.

You saw the look that the couple in front of you shared and immediately tensed up.

“Look, I know what you two are thinking,” you say with your brows furrowing, “He seems like just my type. But I’ll be careful. If I feel myself getting too…. too close or feeling like it’s too much I’ll stop.”

Jisoo immediately softened her face and spoke gently. “_____, I’m not trying to control you. Neither is Jennie. We both love you, you know that. You’re like our sister and daughter all in one. We just know of Xuxi’s reputation and want you to tread carefully, okay?”

You looked at her with wide eyes, “What do you mean?”

It wasn’t that they were upset over you sleeping around, far from it actually. You were a big girl who could do whatever and whoever you wanted. Hell, they often played wing woman and set you up with guys they knew you would like.

They were just worried about you. You were the baby of the group with a personality that someone could easily take advantage of. It’s not like you were the type to run at the first sign of romance, in fact, you enjoyed it.

You, whether you admitted it or not, were secretly a hopeless romantic. You were okay with having casual sex, but if it went anything farther then that..

Well.

You fall hard. You loved the idea of love no matter how much of a realist you forced yourself to be. You liked making connections and building relationships with people that made you laugh, it was a part of your charm. You gave away your heart too easily when it came to relationships, and they had been there to pick up the pieces quite a few times.  You gave your all to someone and it hurt them seeing someone do wrong by you.

Your friends were only worried about you because they both knew of Huang Xuxi.

And they both knew he was exactly the type of guy who could charm you and would fall for immediately.

Jennie moved to sit by you and cuddled closer, “Look, yeah he’s a nice guy. Everyone knows that. But… he’s just a player. Sure he’s transparent with every girl he sleeps with, but that doesn’t mean he treats girls nicely. And you deserve to be treated nicely. Or I’ll kick his fucking ass and set his car on fire.”

Jennie beamed at you when she finished speaking.  You felt your heart warm at the threat. She absolutely would follow through with it and knowing you had a friend who would go that far for you made you feel safe and secure.

“Me too, Jennifer. If I didn’t know you and Jisoo are practically soulmates I would say the same thing. But since you two are basically the last piece of evidence that proves love exists, I’ll settle for something else. So if any one of those girls on the cheer team give you the slightest bit of attitude I’ll slap them.”

Jisoo smiled seeing the exchange. For right now, they’ll put Huang Xuxi onto the backburner.

“Anyways, let’s go back to what we all came here for. The semester starts next week and the Theta Chi house is working with the Sigma Kappa girls to throw the first party. So obviously we need to look sexy as fuck. Especially _____ and Lisa. You both have cobwebs and dust collecting on your vaginas that I can see.”

“What the fuck” you gasped, “Ten told me the same thing! It’s literally been a month. Cmon, that’s not even that long.”

“Yeah well, for a university student it is. Especially for someone hot like you. Even more so when we take your track record into consideration. Your virginity is basically putting itself together again like the ashes of the ones that died in Infinity War,” Rosie said as she walked into the apartment with Lisa towing in right behind her.

You jumped at their entrance then scowled after her comment sunk in, “Leave me alone, Roseanne,”

Rosie glared at you for the use of her full first name as she sat down across from you.

“When was the last time you got laid?” you taunted, “We haven’t heard any hoe stories from you either!”

Rosie perked up, “Last night, actually. I went on a date with Jungkook and went back to his apartment. Mingyu says hi, by the way. Did you know they were roommates?”

“UGH,” you groaned. “Of course you get laid by one of the hottest dudes there is. And he’s nice! What the fuck! Save some for us bitch!”

Rosie laughed and looked down, her cheeks flushing a pretty pink.

Immediately everyone got quiet and stared at her.

“Rosé,” Lisa drawls out slowly, “Do you actually like this guy?”

Rosie sobered up quickly and looked around at each of you.

“Okay, look,” she says slowly, “I’m gonna be honest with you guys. I--”

“Oh my god,” you interject with a groan. You throw yourself onto the couch and cover your eyes with your arm, “Everyone is falling in love except me! I haven’t even had sex in so long! Not even oral!”

“I didn’t even finish yet!” Rosie says exasperated.

“Yes, but you’re Rosé, everyone falls in love with you on the first date. And if this guy didn’t then I’ll kill him. Because you’re pretty and perfect and deserve the world. Why wouldn’t he fall in love right away? The fuck.”

Rosie flushes but sends you a shy smile either way.

“As I was saying, I actually have been going on dates with Jungkook but didn’t say anything because I actually like this guy. I was worried he just wanted to hit it and quit it, that’s why I never mentioned it. I would’ve been so embarrassed if that happened and I gushed about how much I like him but… I think it’s going well. I hope he asks to be exclusive soon,” she finishes with a whisper. You suddenly sit up straight and smack the sofa. Your friends jump at the sudden action when you open your mouth and say “I’ll shove my foot up his ass if he doesn’t ask you to be his girlfriend, Rosie. I don’t give a fuck how hot he is, you’re way hotter and have a line of people knocking at your door.”

Lisa blinks, “Okay, _____. You are at a ten right now and need to take it to a two. Not everything needs to turn into a wannabe WWE match, but I agree. Rosie, if he doesn't ask you to be exclusive within the next month, drop him.”

“Okay,” Rosie sighs while looking down and playing with the hem of her dress, “I just haven’t liked someone like this in a while and I’m just… yeah. But enough about me! There’s nothing to get sad about! We have more important issues to focus on. Like _____ and Lisa being the reborn virgins of the group. Ironic since you two are the biggest hoes I know.”

Lisa groans, “I know. I’ve just been so stressed with the dance team and summer school. I haven’t had time to even rest and now the semester is starting? Bitch..” she shakes her head without finishing.

Jennie gets up and claps her hands, “Well, what are we waiting for? The Theta Chi party is the perfect time and place for you two to get some. It’s coming up soon and we need to start pampering now. It doesn’t even need to be for hooking up, it can be a good luck present for the semester starting. Now c'mon, get your shit” she says grabbing yours and Lisa’s arms and yanking you two up, “if we leave right now we can make it to the salon as a walk-in. I’ll pay for everything.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The final days leading up to a new semester were tiring. You had a short timeframe in which you had to get your financial aid sorted out, make sure you sent out the emails that needed to be sent, talked to your manager about your schedule, and mentally prepare yourself. On top of all the stress you had going on outside of work, work itself had been incredibly busy. With the upcoming start of a new school year, the store had been filled to the brim with snot nosed kids, demanding parents, and hoards of teenagers all looking for the perfect shoe. You had asked for more hours to get some extra cash, but you were starting to regret it. With the back to back scheduling and long shifts, there was no time for you to sit down and breathe.

Fortunately today, you were scheduled to do sorting in the back for the majority of your shift. Which meant you had to take inventory for an hour and sit around on your phone for the rest of it.

As you were counting how many black high tops Converses there were left and cursing the middle schoolers who never failed to sell them out early every year, you failed to notice someone walking in.

“Hey, _____. You need some help?” Jaehyun asked.

You tensed up immediately after hearing the voice and mentally cursed yourself for not washing your hair last night or doing your full makeup routine.

At least you had the decency to put on your eyebrows.

“Oh hey, Jaehyun. I didn’t know you were scheduled for today. How was your vacation?” you asked while putting on a fake smile.

Jaehyun was one of your coworkers, and also your ex-boyfriend. The funny, sweet basketball player had been working at Foot Locker way longer than you and had been the one to train you. He was the one to take you under his wing and introduce you to everyone, offered to buy you something to eat whenever you forgot to bring lunch, and the type of guy to bring everyone who was scheduled with him a drink from Starbucks.

He was everyone’s work crush, including yours.

Until he cheated on you.

“It was good,” he grinned at you, “I missed my grandparents and the rest of my family, so it was nice to see them again. But the weather here is much better than back home.”

“I’m glad you got to see them!” you said with a tone that was obvious you felt anything but glad for him.

As you were thinking about how to somehow get out of this conversation while not getting scolded by your manager for abandoning your task, Jaehyun was busy looking you up and down. The summer had definitely done you good, even if you had spent most of it at work. It hadn’t been that long since he last saw you but your skin was glowing and sun-kissed, even more than usual. There was also definitely much more ass in your jeans than from what he remembers. You already had a nice one to begin with, something he took note of whenever you climbed up the ladder to get a box of shoes too high for you in the backroom.

He remembered when you first walked into Foot Locker for an interview. It was nearly impossible not to notice you. You walked into any room and instantly commanded the attention of everyone within your vicinity. With your sun-kissed glowing skin and a gleaming smile, you had everyone watching you all the time.

The funny part was that you barely even noticed it.

Jaehyun knew of you before you had even submitted an application. Of course he knew of the pretty psychology student who nearly always got the top scores and didn’t have a stick up their ass for it. You were always willing to lend a helping hand and had the patience to explain theories and concepts for hours to someone who didn’t have a clue.

Don’t get him wrong, you were far from a pushover, and more often than not he would overhear you tell classmates the many ways you would shove a textbook up their ass if they tried to copy off you or didn’t at least try to put in an effort.

It was evident that you weren’t a pushover or afraid to ask for what you wanted. You just took a while to warm up to people and let them in close enough to see the bratty side of you.

He was lucky enough to be one of those you let in, but he had to go and fuck it all up.

Jaehyun tried again, “So, how was your summer?”

You didn’t have the time or energy for this shit. “Jaehyun,” you said sharply. “I’ve been incredibly stressed with trying to juggle my summer class, work, and social life if you’re that desperate to know. I don’t need--”

Jaehyun cut you off, “_____, I’m sorry. I just want to talk to you and explain, please.”

Conversation with Jaehyun once came as natural as breathing to you. There used to be a time where he could ask the world from you and you would do anything to give it to him. He was the person you looked forward to seeing the most, the one you wanted to see right when you woke up and before you fell asleep. And at one point he was.

You were never blind to how attractive he is. Jaehyun, with the sweet smile and tall, lean build was the kind of guy who could get people to stop and stare whenever he walked by. Hell, you had seen it happen nearly every time the both of you went walking to the food court.

After all, he was Jung Jaehyun, a university basketball player.

Which was just a kind way to say he was a fuckboy.

To make it even worse, he was a fucking frat boy. Which meant he had a reputation of sleeping his way through campus.

When he was the one to ask you out first, you had told yourself that it was just a way for him to get into your bed. After the second, third, and fourth date, you still mistook his advances as him trying to be kind to you before he hit it and quit. It was a month into the dates that he asked you to be his girlfriend. Even then, you were very cautious at the beginning of your relationship. You had dealt with your fair share of playboys like Jaehyun and weren’t afraid to bust their balls.

You actually enjoyed knocking men down a peg or two.

But Jaehyun was nothing if not persistent. He made an effort to spend as much time with you as possible and get to know you on an intimate level. The constant sleepovers at your place and late-night talks had both of you falling in love, fast and hard.

To this day, you still didn’t know why he cheated on you.

Jaehyun interrupted your thoughts, “_____?”

You shook your thoughts away, “Yeah?”

“I asked if you had any plans for the last week of summer?”  

You sighed, “Look, Jaehun. I’m just exhausted thinking about the semester starting. But I’m trying to distract myself from thinking about school and worry about my social life instead. So yes, I do have plans to go out and yes, it is to the same party your frat is hosting. But I’m not going for you, so do not approach me or talk to me. Don’t even look at me. I have bigger things to worry about and I do not want to deal with the stupid questions from your stupid friends.

“Like what?”

“Like what, what?”

Jaehyun scrunched his face in confusion, “You said you had bigger things to worry about. Is everything okay? Are your brothers good?”

As much as you hated to admit it, your heart fluttered. Jaehyun knew how much you cared about your younger brothers. He loved them just as much as you and liked going with you whenever you visited home, “Well yes but---”

“That’s good,” Jaehyun lets out a breath. “Look _____, I know you don’t owe me anything. I know I fucked up real bad, but please let me just explain everything. I want you to know what happened. I valued our relationship above everything and it meant the world to me. I know it might not have looked like it but--”

You snorted. Good for him, he’s self-aware.

Jaehyun flushed at your laugh. He deserved it but tried again “_____, please---”

Every sad look he sent you was sending you over the edge. Who did he think you were? You weren’t the type to let people step all over you like regardless of what Jaehyun thought. As mildly insulted as you felt over how little he thought of you, you didn’t have the type to tear a new one into him. You had shit to do or else your manager would be pissed.

“Jaehyun, I can’t do this.”

“_____, what---”

“_____.” Jumping at the sudden mention of your name, you had failed to notice a tall figure standing only feet away from Jaehyun during the conversation between the two of you.

“Xuxi,” you breathed out.

Jaehyun frowned, “Xuxi?”

“Xuxi,” the man himself said. Xuxi was staring at you with something dark, something that made you tense up and on edge for what his next move would be. He had been sent to the back to clock in and help you out with inventory when he noticed that the door was left slightly open. Xuxi had stopped when he heard Jaehyun’s voice and the exasperated tone in your voice.

When Xuxi realized Jaehyun was the one in there with you, he felt that ugly jealous feeling crawl up his chest. He didn’t want to closely examine why it was there. You weren’t his. The two of you hadn’t been close enough for him to consider you as his, but he still didn’t like the idea of you being stuck in a room with Jaehyun.

Xuxi didn’t want to harbor any ill feelings towards Jaehyun; he was his frat brother and Xuxi never had an issue with him. He already owed Jaehyun one for getting him a job here but after finding out what went down between the two of you, he lost respect for Jaehyun.

Xuxi was self-aware that he wasn’t the most romantic guy on campus nor was he the type to go steady with someone, but he would never string a girl along or cheat on her. He respected them enough to be upfront from the beginning of what he wanted and wouldn’t harbor any ill feelings if they refused to sleep with him afterward. He tried to be gentle with everyone who ever tried to pursue something serious with him.

It wasn’t well known across campus that Jaehyun and you were a couple, which confused him at first. He didn’t know why both of you kept it under wraps. If he was dating you, he’d make sure to broadcast out to the entire city. You were one of the sweetest girls he’s ever met. You weren’t stuck up or mean to anyone. He didn’t think you were aware of it, but you and he were in the same department. While you were in the Child Studies department only for a minor, he had it for his major so he spent quite a bit of time in the building. Xuxi would often see you helping out underclassmen who were very clearly overwhelmed, sharing your notes to classmates, and talking to the professors as if they were your friends. He liked seeing you brighten up the department every time you walked in.

To add the cherry on top, you were stunning. Immediately a heat curled up in his stomach when he thought about how good you looked. God, he would’ve been blind to not see how utterly gorgeous you were. Those long, toned legs and pouty lips had him captivated since day one. As well as those big, wide doe eyes of yours that gave you an innocent look when he knew you were the complete opposite.

“Hey man, how were the new soccer recruits? I swear the only times I’ve seen you in the house were when you came back tired and hungry,” Jaehyun laughed, oblivious to the growing tension in the room.

The two of you broke eye contact as Jaehyun went to give Xuxi that stupid one-armed hug boys do. You felt your entire face flush and looked at the floor while you wallowed in the embarrassment of knowing Xuxi knew you and Jaehyun had a messy breakup.

You went back to counting shoes or at least pretending to. Frankly, you had no idea what the hell it was that you were doing before Jaehyun walked in, but you were damned sure that was the last time you opened your fat mouth like that ever again at work.

“_____, you miss me?” Xuxi said.

What.

The hell is he saying, you thought.

Bracing yourself, you turned around to face him. They had moved closer to the wall with Xuxi leaning against it like he owned the damn place.

“Um. Yes,” you blinked.

Xuxi smirked at you and walked up to you. You tensed up and subconsciously held your breath for whatever his next move would be.

“C'mon don’t be like that, baby, “Xuxi said. He walked up to you and put an arm around your shoulders, “I missed you. Thought about you every time Coach let me take a break.”

You flushed at the endearment but made no move to refuse his arm. Or correct him. You had no clue what he was playing at but a guy as hot as Xuxi was calling you baby, so you didn’t have an issue with it.

You scowled up at him, “Shut up, lying ass. I heard your Coach rarely ever gives you guys breaks. Last time I heard the admin ladies talking about how some kid’s mom was threatening to sue.”

“Well that story is true,” he said grinning down at you, “but I’d never lie to you. Not to my favorite girl.”

You felt yourself blushing again at him calling you baby and for the way he was looking down at you. With him that close to you and looking down with that smile of his, you’ve never been more aware of how handsome Xuxi is.

“Oh, and Jaehyun? I heard Manager was looking for you out on the floor. Apparently, you’ve been gone for too long,” Xuxi said, giving him a smile that Jaehyun knew was strained.

Jaehyun clenched his jaw. He didn’t like the way you got all shy around Xuxi or the way your entire demeanor caused him to do a double-take. He’s seen you like this before.

It was the way you were when you used to be in love with him.

“You should get going, Jaehyun. The manager isn’t in a really good mood today. She gave me an attitude for not having the size some kid wanted. Does she not know by now that we always sell the Converses early?” you said. You rolled your eyes and continued ranting, blissfully unaware of the tension growing between the two boys.

Jaehyun saw Xuxi’s hand almost brushing your breast and could tell you either had no clue, or used to it by now.

“Yeah Jaehyun, better hurry,” Xuxi said innocently.

“Fine. But, _____,” Jaehyun walked up to you with a determined look on his face. He grabbed your wrist and gently yanked you out from under Xuxi. “I just want to talk to you. Give me just one opportunity and you’ll never see me again, okay? You already know about the party at Theta Chi. Promise me you’ll go?”

You nod. You were staring at him with a flustered look that made his heart ache.

Jaehyun leaned down to whisper, “Go look for me there, okay? Just one last time, please.”

His lips brushed against your ear before he quickly walked away. You were left stumbling for the words to reply with when he just left.

What the hell was that?

Clearing your throat, you turned around to face Xuxi who was leaning against the wall, again. This time though he had his arms crossed and was staring at the door Jaehyun exited out of. When he heard you, he directed his blank gaze to you.

There was a brief silence that felt oddly tense to you.

What the fuck was this kid’s problem, you thought.

You raised an eyebrow at him when it was clear he was just going to stare at you with a bitchy face and that made you on edge. Especially since you didn’t put in an effort to look good today

“What?,” you snapped, “Do I have something on my face?”

He didn’t reply to you right away. He searched your face for a bit until he pushed himself off the wall and walked up to you.

One of his hands comes up to your chin and grabs it gently, forcing you to look up at him. Your breath immediately stilled at his touch. His hands were so warm and so big that you were willing to bet they were bigger than your face. You tried to distract yourself with that thought so you wouldn’t focus on how insanely gorgeous he was up close, but that didn’t settle well with him.

He squeezed you so gently that you almost didn’t feel it, but you did.

When you met his gaze, he finally spoke.

“You good?” he asked. You could feel his breath tickle your lips. You were so captivated by his own lips being that close to yours that you didn’t answer until he squeezed you again. You nodded as a reply, too dazed to actually talk.

He gave you a grin and continued, “Don’t look for Jaehyun, okay? I got you. Whatever it is you need or want, I got you for it. Not him.”

You stared up at him with a surprised and innocent look on his face that only served to make him want to wreck you.

Xuxi still had a grip on you, “Good girl. I’ll come looking for you. You don’t need to go after anyone. I’ll do it. You understand me, right? You get what I’m saying?”

You avert your gaze as the words he said made you feel things that far too inappropriate for the workplace.

It had been so long for you, evident in the sudden dampness you felt between your legs that came right after he called you a good girl.

“That’s good. Of course my girl understands, you always do so good in everything. Now I’m gonna go back out there and do my job. Remember what I said, okay?”

Xuxi lets you go but of course he doesn’t do it simply. Of course he doesn’t. Simple isn’t in this man’s vocabulary. This man just had to call you a good girl and his girl in the fucking storage room at work. He just had to drag his hand down and let it trace the hollows of your throat first before stepping back and walking away from you.

You let all the tensions you didn’t know you had out of your body as you sink into the only chair there is. You don’t think about what could happen at work that much, or at all really, but you for sure never saw Huang Xuxi making you wet while on the job.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

btw the xuxi in this is xuxi during the beginning of super m promos... u know... with the nice glowing brown skin and light brown hair.... whew...

[domjaehyun]

how did you know what you wanted to major in? i'm having some difficulties trying to decide. nothing really excites me that makes me think "i wanna do this for the rest of my life" yk :( like i'm just so lost

tbh? i didnt!!!

before i got into college, i wanted to major in psychology. saw that it required too much science and math so i cancelled that plan and went in thinking i’d be an english major. took a philosophy class, loved it, declared that as my major, took another course next semester, hated it, and dropped out the first day. then i entertained being a sociology major briefly until poetry seduced me into its snug lil corner and i majored in english w a focus in creative poetry! then.....i decided i wanted to be a teacher so i minored in education :O but then i ended up withdrawing and now im in computer science.....

so that was all to say that it’s totally okay not to know what you want to do right now!! like society really failed us by making us think we have to know what we’re doing before we even get to college. college is the time to figure all that out!!! you gort this, baby! i believe in you!!

[omoi-no-hoka]

Hey! I saw your blog today and I love it very much!! I see you're an open person so, I also have a question: HOW does one survive studying japanese at uni?? I'm in my first year and only my second (online haha) semester and we started out with Minna no nihongo 1 but we're supposed to finish Minna 2 by the end of this semester, same with Basic Kanji book 1 in the first sem and now Basic Kanji Book 2, all while also learning mostly of Japan's history and others in this semester. Exams will kill me

Hello! I’m glad you’re enjoying my blog! I am open to a fault lol. Let me recount my meandering journey through uni, illustrating my feelings through gifs of Noel Fielding because he is my celebrity crush.

Uni is such a difficult time for so many people, trying to figure out who you are now and who you want to be later. It wasn’t until my senior year that I realized what I wanted to do. I started writing out my university experience and it got super long, so allow me to just summarize my “Lessons Learned” here and you can read the rest if you want to know all the dirty deets lol. I double-majored in Japanese and English, so I think that my experience can perhaps be useful to people who are majoring in things other than Japanese as well. 

Hard-Learned Lessons from Uni

Do not choose a course of study because it is “practical.” Choose it because it is something you love. Seriously. Nothing is more important than this point. Do not choose a major because “I’ll make a lot of money” or “My parents are telling me this is good for me.” 

If you are learning multiple languages at once, you must give your brain time to organize what you learned from one language lesson before moving on to the next. You can do this by waiting a couple hours between lessons, getting up and walking around, studying one language in different space from the other, etc. Otherwise, it all becomes a terrible mess in your head.

It’s okay not to know what you want your career to be. It’s okay not to have a specific plan. Life works out one way or the other.

I know how expensive uni can be. (It’s been six years since I graduated and I’m still making hefty loan payments.) But don’t feel like you have to take a full courseload every single semester and graduated asap, particularly if the classes are hard and/or you are working. I took the maximum credit hours allowed every semester on top of working RIDICULOUS hours and it nearly killed me at one point. I’m not kidding. 

It is not unusual to have an identity crisis and/or mental breakdown. Take care of yourself. Know when you are nearing breaking point. Seek out the help of professionals. Most universities have psychiatrists and therapists that will see you very cheaply. 

Surround yourself with good people and look out for each other. 

Do not rely on substances to ease your suffering because sometimes the remedy becomes the malady. Not saying you should avoid all parties or anything square like that, but just don’t be one of those people that parties every night and gets in over their head. 

Let me preface this by stating that I’m an American, and our universities are stupid because they force us to take a ton of “general education” courses that are irrelevant to our majors, and many students spend their first couple years taking only a couple courses related to their majors and minors, and try to focus on getting those stupid gen eds out of the way. 

Year 1: Oh Shit, This Is Harder Than I Thought It Would Be

I come from a town of less than 2600 people. Our high school prepared its students for the following career paths:

joining the military (boys only)

becoming a farmer (boys only)

welding, carpentry, or other practical jobs (boys only)

becoming a housewife (girls only)

So basically I coasted through high school never having to study anything because it was one great big joke, only I thought I was like super duper smart because I was in the top five of my graduating class of 48. LOLLLLLLLLL

I entered university as a German major, Japanese minor. (Japanese was not offered as a major at my uni). I had never studied German previously, but I studied Spanish and French in high school and I just had this feeling that German and Japanese were the languages for me. 

The first semester, I had Japanese 101 and German 101 back to back, in the EXACT SAME CLASSROOM. I can’t stress enough how much of a mindfuck it was to go from thinking about Japanese for 50 minutes, having a 10 minute break, and then trying to switch your brain to German. IN THE SAME ROOM. It actually gave me headaches to try and make that mental jump. Managed to pull through the year with A’s in both, but German was much more of a challenge to me than Japanese. Which was really unexpected. 

I also flunked several gen eds because I didn’t give a shit about them and skipped them and got placed on academic probation and was nearly kicked out of uni because of my poor grades

Basically, I was such a weeb that I had watched enough anime with subtitles and sung along to enough anime songs that I had absorbed about 90% of the first year’s worth of Japanese vocab and grammar through osmosis. I really did have the power of God and anime on my side.

Year 2: The Year of the Mid-Midlife Crisis and Mental Breakdown

There really is no gif that will encapsulate the level of turmoil I went through that year. I looked really hard for one, trust me.

It became apparent very quickly that I could not keep up with German. I ended up dropping it early in the first semester, which meant I had to choose a new major. Thinking of what would be practical to pair with a Japanese minor, I went for International Business for a semester, took Accounting, and realized that I HATE The Man, corporate bullshit, and also numbers as a concept.

All I knew at this point was that I liked Japanese but couldn’t make it a major. I also knew I didn’t want to transfer universities. So I kept taking gen eds, just barely passing them because to this day I cannot bring myself to put effort into something I do not care about, and also taking more classes related to my Japanese minor. It was the Japanese classes that saved my GPA and kept me from getting kicked out of uni.

At the same time, I took a creative writing course because that’s been a hobby of mine since elementary school, and I kinda thought about an English major, but then was like, “Eww I don’t wanna be forced to read books I don’t give a shit about. And also, what will I do with that degree?”

Also, at the same time, I was working full time, and often getting stuck working from 2 pm to 7 am (Yes, 15-hour shifts, because the overnight dude would call in sick last minute and I’d be begged to cover his shift), and then dragging myself to classes and drooling on the desks because I’d fall asleep.

Also also, I started to have possible hallucinations? To this day I don’t know what was going on, but either I was legitimately going crazy, or there was a demon following me around and being quite rude to me, making light fixtures fall and shatter inches from my head, throwing papers around my room, opening and closing doors, turning lights off and on, coming to me in dreams and doing some really, really traumatic things to me in them, and just standing in corners staring at me at all hours of the night. Had me so scared that towards the end of the school year I was waiting to sleep until sunrise, when it would go away. And no, I was not using any mind-altering substances of any sort. Not even going out and getting drunk. 

So, yeah. Year Two was a hard one that I can’t believe I pushed through. Probably the darkest year of my life, I’d say. What got me through it? An unhealthy amount of energy drinks, friends, and my love of Japanese. Also Aerosmith.

Do I still see that demon? No. He vanished when the school year ended and I moved out of the dorms. Do I believe in the supernatural? Yes, to an extent. Do I think that what I was seeing was actually a demon? I honestly don’t know. I have had actual supernatural experiences verified by multiple witnesses, and a few years before Year 2, several friends and myself had seen an entity similar to what was following me around. But this one in Year 2 only did things when I was alone. So it could have all been in my head, and I will never know. 

Since then, I have been diagnosed with general anxiety and also a form of insomnia that keeps me from sleeping through the night, and I know that my anxiety manifests itself in psychosomatic ways. In other words, my mind will take my anxiety and turn it into a physical symptom that feels real in every way, but is actually not occurring. So far it’s manifested as: sensitivity to sunlight, the symptoms of a stroke or heart attack, half of my face going numb, and headaches in my left eye. Once I realize that the symptom is just my anxiety, I can force myself to ignore and overcome it. But then my anxiety finds a new form to manifest, and the cycle repeats a few months later. It could be that my stress caused me to see this demon for a while.

Should I have consulted a psychiatrist and gotten help? YEP. If you find yourself struggling like that, seek help please. 💕

Year 3: Adrift But Afloat

I moved out of the dorms and into an apartment with my best friend, a Japanese girl I met in the dorms freshman year. I will call her Setsuko. Setsuko is basically the reason I graduated uni. She memorized my class schedules and took copies of exam dates, woke me up, forced me to go classes instead of skipping, forced me to go to the library and study with her, and cooked me dinner most days since she didn’t have to work like I did. I can’t express enough how much she did to improve my life outside of school and work, and how much that improved my mental health. She also acclimated me to lots of subtle things about Japanese culture just by living with her, and this helped me later when I moved to Japan. Thank you, Setsuko. 一生の恩人。

I was still doing those bullshit 15-hour overnight shifts way more than I should have, and also had the maximum courseload.

The Japanese classes got a lot more difficult in Year 3. But I loved them. They were the only classes I never skipped. I took more classes towards the minor like Buddhist Philosophy and Japanese History, which I really enjoyed. While polishing off more gen eds, I thought over what to do with my major. 

My family and friends all told me that I should become an English teacher. I had always been good at words and at explaining things. But I didn’t really like the idea of being a high school teacher. I became an English major, though, because I knew that I didn’t hate English. Took grammar classes and HOLY SHIT did I hit my stride.

I realized that I didn’t like English lit. I liked linguistics. So I focused heavily on all grammar and linguistics courses, taking the bare minimum of literature courses required for the major. My GPA improved substantially. 

Yet I still was consumed with this nagging fear. It was Year 3 and I still had no fucking idea what I wanted to do when I graduated.

Year 4: Clarity At The 11th Hour

Urged on by my “Don’t you dare get one of those stupid arts degrees that won’t get you a paycheck” parents, I decided that the most “practical” degree would not be “English,” but “English Education.” I began taking the English Ed classes with linguistics, grammar, and second language acquisition classes. The goal was to become a qualified English high school teacher who could also do ESL (since I had Spanish and Japanese under my belt more or less). 

At the same time, I entered into Independent Study for Japanese with two other students. We were tasked with reading Izu no Odoriko, a classic short story. Independent study was its own beast. It required a lot more concentration and work on my part, obviously. But because Japanese was my first and foremost passion, I centered my efforts on those courses, and then on the others.

The process of getting certified to be an English teacher was lengthy and expensive in my state. This meant my graduation would be further prolonged, and I was worried about money, because I was already about $50,000 in debt at the time, despite working those fucking overnight shifts all the time that were eating me alive.

Then, during the summer vacation when my 4th year ended, I got a scholarship and went to Japan to study abroad. Education majors had the option to study abroad in several countries, and as luck would have it, one of them was Japan, and it was Setsuko’s HOMETOWN! The study abroad program itself was the first month of summer vacation, and Setsuko said, “Okay, just come stay at my house for the rest of summer vacation!”

Never have I said “yes” quicker in my entire life.

On the train headed from Sapporo to the town where I would be actually staying during my studies, I looked at the lush rice paddies and mountains in the distance and my entire heart just hummed with this “This is where you’re meant to be.” I knew then and there that I would move to Japan upon graduation.

What would I do there? Well, teach English, obviously.

My three months in Japan effectively aligned my entire life. My path had materialized before me. It was a roughly hacked, hard-to-see path through thick underbrush, but I could see it nonetheless. 

Year 5: Let’s Hurry It Up, I’m Ready To Live

Come Year 5, all of my Japanese classmates that had been with me since freshman year were gone and I was alone. My professor taught me Classical Japanese through independent study, and it was the must grueling course I took my entire five years there. But I found it invaluable and am eternally grateful to him for teaching me, because you see Classical Japanese a lot more than you’d think you would in everyday life. Particularly in formal settings. 

I still wanted to get certified to teach English in American high schools, because while I knew I wanted to go to Japan for now, I didn’t know if I wanted to spend my entire life there and I wanted a solid job opportunity when I came back to the states at some point.

However, the more education courses I took, the more I saw that the American education system was just as full of red-tape and The Man’s bullshit as corporate America, something else I rebuke with every fiber of my being. I also realized I’d need to take a 6th year of university, and that just wasn’t financially feasible for me. So I switched to a plain old English major with a heavy focus on linguistics and second language acquisition, and continued classical Japanese. 

I took the remaining 3 gen eds online in the summer, graduated, popped up to Chicago to do a month-long intensive course to get the CELTA (Certificate in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages issued by Cambridge.) It’s the most widely accepted and revered certification for teaching English as a foreign language.

So in the span of five years, I graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in English with a focus in linguistics and SLA, and what is technically a major in Japanese Studies. 40 credit hours were required for a major, and I completed 42 credit hours tied to my minor, so while it isn’t listed on my diploma as a major, I did the coursework. I also got a CELTA Pass B, which only 20% of applicants achieve and never expires. The grand total for all of this was roughly $100,000 USD in loans.

Post-Graduation

The week I came back to my hometown from Chicago with my CELTA in hand, I packed my suitcases, threw a going-away party, and then flew to Sapporo, where I began my first job after uni, teaching English to children aged 0-18 at a private English conversation school. I did that for three years before changing careers and becoming a Japanese-English translator/interpreter for a global company. 

So how useful have my choices during university proven to be?

I’m sure I don’t have to explain that studying Japanese helps me tons with translating Japanese to English or living in Japan lol

Studying English grammar, linguistics, sociolinguistics, and second language acquisition has allowed me to recognize minute nuances that can make the difference between a successful and unsuccessful business negotiation when interpretation is necessary.

My background in education also means that I know how to present information clearly, concisely, and in a way that engages the audience. I am known as “The PowerPoint Pro” at work lol. 

I also have a keen eye for performance evaluation, behavior analysis, and improvement action plans. 

I offered English conversation lessons to coworkers for over a year, and now that is being done in other branches across the company! (Well, they were before COVID haha.) 

I DO NOT RECOMMEND WORKING THE HOURS I WORKED WHILE IN SCHOOL. My grades suffered and I wish I had worked less and focused more on classes. However, by working 15-hour shifts and doing full days of classes, I developed a very good tolerance for overtime, which comes in handy in the Japanese workplace. Just last month I had three 15 hour days in the same week. Sweet, sweet overtime pay. 

All of these facets have culminated in me earning a pretty nice promotion to 正社員 seishain back in February, which means I get nice benefits and basically my job is guaranteed until I die or the company goes under.

Should I decide to return to America someday, I will probably not go into the education field. Too much red tape. I will likely continue translation/interpretation for companies, because it isn’t too difficult and pays well. Though ideally I’d love to just make a living sharing cool information about Japanese and stuff, and maybe writing those stories that are bouncing around in my head when I should be working haha.

Do I think the debt is worth it?

Well, I don’t think I had any other option than to take out those loans. I didn’t have the means to learn the things I wanted to learn unless I went to university. 

Unless Japanese work visa requirements have changed, you are required to have a bachelor’s degree in order to obtain my sub-type of work-visa, so I needed a degree of some kind no matter what. 

Frankly, if I hadn’t gone to that university and met my best friend Setsuko, I don’t think I’d be where I am right now, living the life I am now. So just having met her is worth any price to me. 

Paying off all the loans is daunting, especially when yen is weak to the dollar. There were months I had to ask my parents for help, especially early on. But now I’ve got multiple loans paid off, my salary has increased, and the “omg i have money and no supervision so I can buy whatever I want” idiocy has mostly gone away. But I did get a super sweet pair of blindingly silver Converses a couple days ago that I definitely didn’t need

Do I have any regrets regarding my time at university?

I still regret dropping Old English for a stupid English Ed class. Seriously, how cool would that have been? But I still have the textbook, workbook, and I contacted the professor last week and she was kind enough to send me a syllabus. God bless her. So now I’m working on that bit by bit, which is fun.

I wish I hadn’t been such a cocky, naive idiot my first year. Thinking I could just “show up for tests” was the stupidest thing. It messed up my GPA, and my parents forbade me from retaking classes so I couldn’t go back and fix my mistakes. I think I graduated with a 3.4 overall GPA out of 4, but my English major GPA was 3.9 and my Japanese GPA was 4.0. So it’s pretty frustrating to have those gen eds and my dumbfuckery mar my transcript like that.

I really didn’t party at all. Most all of my friends were straight-laced Japanese exchange students, and I was also working ridiculous hours so I just didn’t really have the time. A part of me feels like I missed out on that part of the college experience.

Recently I’ve been putting more effort into improving my creative writing by reading a lot of books on the subject. Not a small part of me wishes that I had gone with a Creative Writing major instead of English major, because I still would have studied all the grammar and linguistics. Then again, I do believe that creative writing can be self-taught.

I wish I hadn’t worked as much as I did. There were a lot of times I couldn’t complete assignments or I missed lectures because I was just so drained. It wasn’t even good money.

Well...I did not intend for this post to become as long as it has. I’ve been cooped up in my apartment with nothing but two goldfish for company for over a month now and I think I’m a bit stir-crazy. Thank you to anyone and everyone who bothered to read all of this and become my therapist for a bit haha. Love you all. Stay safe and well. 💖

[unproduciblesmackdown]

even more prompts catchup

April 5th: What was school like for you, or what is it currently like for you if you are still in school? Elementary, high school, post-secondary?

i Hate/d school lmfao......like i do Like To Learn and Know Shit, and of course Sometimes / on some occasions it was like, hey i'm having a good to pretty great time at school, but those were usually Special occasions or teachers going out of their way to give us you know, fun projects / go beyond the Standardized Testing curriculum, which natch they couldn't always do / did require sort of going Above & Beyond, rather than being the constant, guaranteed experience of like hooray for school......it's like, oh hooray re: the Play Scenes my fourth grade english class did that was like, an Extra thing, where we got to audition and i just had a great time like oh right, clearly Theatre in retrospect, or hooray re: the field trips, or projects we did In Class, since i hated homework.......i was always that accursed (i mean, not accursed for Me, but) combination of "really a terrible student but also gets great grades" lmao i forever do things Last Minute but like, when i was At school, in class, i'd just power through whatever work there was then & there usually, and in middle school would sometimes do hw on the bus, as i was the last on the bus route to be picked up in the morning or dropped off in the afternoon, but as soon as i got home i was in Home Mode and yknow. didn't just sit down and continue School Stuff asap. also hardly ever Studying unless it's the night / morning before a test lmfao but i had a great memory for that stuff, so studying that last minute was like "yep, i Do remember this from going over it 2 seconds ago" so yknow, despite hating school / no good Study Habits(tm) or anything, i did fine. i also read a ton, at home or at school and at any other point. so i was also like, quiet and generally ~well behaved~ or whatever lol (the like "how are kids (or anyone) supposed to stay focused and on task for 7+ hours a day..." thing), segue into next paragraph

i also remember like, 3 day a week preschool being the first time i was, you know, in some sort of School and also around other kids that much, i did have this sense that like, somehow there were Rules that i wasn't following, not re: Classroom Rules or something, but wrt socializing with peers, like that everyone else had something going on in how they interacted which i wasn't gonna get right, & i had this sense of like, not really being Allowed to interact lmao, even being 4 years old i have a few distinct memories re: this of like, a) choosing to play by myself in the classroom or when outside, and b) my "best friend" being the one person who just like, chose to hang out with me lmfao, but i was like oh cool Having A Friend lmao, like i didn't Not want to have friends, i was just already aware of like, i don't feel like i can just up and interact w/these people and i don't feel like they want me to, and c) re: that being aware of whatever Rules Of Interaction existing and that i wouldn't meet them / abide by them and thus there'd be some kind of repercussion for not meeting those rules, and not being allowed, i remember that like. there was this other indoor playspace in the lower level and there were toys i wanted to play with but Refrained from, and it was like, why did 4 yr old me get the idea i Wasn't Really Allowed, and most of what i can theorize is that it was like, well other kids might want to play with that, and the Normal / Better kids should get priority lmao, and/or being nervous that it just might otherwise lead to some sort of Interaction i wouldn't feel ready for.....and d) sitting at a table with like whatever 4 or 5 other kids or something and amongst ourselves someone was like "oh put your foot in the middle if you're [x]" and i tried to join in on a technicality lmfao and also just in, you know, active efforts to be Participating with these other kids on their terms, and it did not pay off, something that repeated uhhhhh, forever i guess lol. insert that post like can allistic people be normal for 5 seconds.....

like in elementary school i wasn't really making friends either, incredibly, i was Amicably Tolerated by many people then & like, again also at any point after at least lmao (and it helps that i was generally in teachers' good graces, not that i narced on anyone ever, but i had like, my Niche as the Academically Successful One, and also i was the kid who draws, another shoutout to some post and tweet about how being The Drawing Kid was like, some measure of respect but also disdain lmfao...) and sometimes people would again like. choose to interact with me repeatedly, and i'd sort of be nonplussed at best b/c it's like, okay thanks but in this situation i didn't Choose this any more than i choose [Trying to be in the group but being rejected/excluded], so it's kinda weird, i was friends with someone for a few years in elementary school but we just were Coincidentally in the same class for those years, when we were in different classes in 3rd or 4th grade and just weren't seeing each other it fizzled out, in middle school i made another couple friends where we were all being Funny lmao, but i didn't go to high school, so once again we weren't seeing each other, and [At School] was where i always had most Interactions with people, didn't see people much outside of school even if we were hanging out / being friends During school, for [a whole tangent] reasons, so. guess the good news is i'm still in touch / friendly acquaintances with some people from school from college, but even then, there was Some more social success or whatever, but not all That much, and i was still unhappy like, not having many friends, often being like "i'm going to the cafe a block away b/c i have no social occasions here and i want to get out of the dorm / be around people," that if i was with more than one other person i could end up the third wheel friend lmao or nobody is paying attention when you talk or oh no i put myself out there hanging with a friend group but maybe people thought you were a joke or something, thanks. smh

and that like, speaking of college, i went early but this was, for my part, truly primarily driven like "well i hate school so if i can Not go to high school, okay" and like, while i got in and everything it was still like "tf is college, i've never known what i Want To Do so i wonder if i'll figure this out, but i'm not expecting to last past the first semester / year b/c this is college and i'm a terrible student actually lol" but then turns out i kept doing well enough like A's & B's like oh woops i guess i'm still here, then, hope i can figure out what tf "credit hours" means (finally did lol).....then sophomore year was a bunch of just Agonizing over "what tf do i major in," something i never figured out, wherein i might bring something up & it got parentally shot down like "never heard you talk about that" like what tf Did you hear me talk about? are you thinking i had my life figured out by age 9, b/c i didn't think that, i'm only 15/16 even Now, even being the Regular college age it's like, nobody's figuring their life out then. also i didn't tell my parents things, so. and then i settle on something that sure, Might've been of interest, but also it was like, a) a program that barely existed and req'd taking classes at a like 30 min away campus and also the head of department had Just retired and the most heinous teacher in the related fields was now in charge, brilliant and b) the sort of thing you'd just wanna start taking prerequisites for like as soon as you set foot on campus, like, great. and c) i was like, hardly feeling all the Academic Ambition anyway b/c i never had, b/c i hate/d school, and b/c i still didn't Know what i wanted to major in, and i was stressed n depressed and also realizing oh right, i'm not cishet, and oh right, i'm never going to get along with my family b/c [long tangent] reasons and that's kind of concerning, here i am impending Being 18 and like, how do i get out of this b/c it's becoming clearer that i'm not just gonna start getting along with the 'rents now that i'm not an elementary schooler and also now that i'm realizing the Reasons being at home sucks. guess i learned stuff in college lol but also it was like, the experience of getting to be Away From Home and existing every day without parents literally / figuratively over my shoulder at some point every day, and getting to do shit on my own and figure things out while Not At Home.....i also had a lot of fun taking a couple classes from this one music prof lol. he was this weird really enthusiastic and really knowledgeable guy lmao like great, these evening classes where we go over to the arts building and he plays things on the piano off the cuff and tells a lot of tangential stories while we're learning about like, beethoven technically, or folk music. didn't need those classes but they were great, i've had these teachers who were totally into whatever they were teaching and had a great time with that

also acknowledgment to the fact i was a No Extracurriculars person all through school, k thru 6 and college alike really, although i took dance class for that k thru 6 period, just that was separate from school actually (and another fun "being away from home" thing and Theatresque performance thing i enjoyed) but besides that it was like, how do i figure out what i want to do without committing to joining this whole thing, i don't know How to sign up for stuff really either, and it'd probably entail "asking for stuff" and needing to coordinate more rides and etc and that's just a hassle, and i wanna go home from school asap anyways, and then like, when it came to college, i was again at first thinking like "well idk what i'm doing and i hate homework so i'll probably mess it up in this first year anyways" and figured that doing anything Extra outside classes was just gonna be too much, and also, it's like, i've never been in these kinds of groups before and why am i gonna start in college, where there'll probably be all these people who Have done this stuff before, and are also 18? e.g. even though it was like "hey you're away from home and don't have to ask/tell anyone else anything to do this club stuff or whatever!" supposed ideal environment for trying stuff out, it was like, maybe i'm theoretically interested in auditioning for the fall theatre production, but the last acting experience i had was like, "2 month drama class in middle school" or "that 4th grade [section of a] play" so like, not really Any education or experience or Training re: any of that stuff, and a bunch of 18 yr olds who might've, or [age peers] who were theatre people who had already done stuff so they weren't getting Lead Roles or anything but they were getting cast / taking classes / joining an a capella group while i'm like right on, i'm over here with some sort of Grade Honor Society (??) saying my gpa qualifies me to join and be able to experience some further academic rigor/requirements lmfao and i'm like absolutely not. get away lol. anyways so bit of a chaotique Post K12 Zone Education Experience there lmfao, all kinds of things i'd Like to Learn and even take classes on, but didn't like, right i love learning languages but never took classes, love math and shit but only got to a certain level of calc and even then seemed to miss some Lore, never did anything re: theatre, etc and so on. so you wonder if some advantages re: high school would be like, more chances for those extracurriculars (or regular curriculars) but, as though i wouldn't have the same qualms about getting in on any of it, and as if i wouldn't've still hated school but also still been at home, F. and i think people can be a lot more normal to each other when it's college and you're Not stuck in one building together 8 hours a day lmao, got some gentle "occasional Bullying style attention" in middle school, but had juuust enough like, [that Niche of good grades / kid who draws] and people who Were friendlier to me that it was you know, unpleasant, but didn't have to be that huge a deal, and then i was outta there soon enough. also, in college many people are 18 or older, as opposed to 11 to 13. anyways the rest of my school story was that in the end the problems were "i don't know what i want to major in and also now's a worse time than ever b/c i've realized my existence At Home is untenable, and naturally i am quite depressed & stressed about things, and i gotta say absolutely virtually every adult presence was either totally unhelpful to Counterproductive here lmao, like, not much anyone could do really but it's helpful when someone is like, i'll treat you like a person vs simply just going 'uh why are you not doing the academic stuff good enough'" lmfao like. the whole time Not having friends i'd wanna talk to through class and happening to get good grades in part b/c i somehow Could as easily as i did and also i was afraid of getting C's or worse b/c "tfw i wasn't even yet in a grade that gave you A thru F grades yet but my older sister caught shit for getting a C

like :/" and etc means adults are like My Student Is Fine, and also, what are you gonna do even if they aren't, i guess. i just had to figure out completely for myself Why and How i really wasn't Fine and that was quite difficult and also took a long time. then there was a mutual prank of "i drop out of college at the tail end of things" and "now i have to be at home with parent/s more resentful of your obvious Waywardness (insert: not being cishet, and the fact it occurs to me that my being autistic was always causing 'problem' behavior i was getting shit for like, the whole time lmfao, even if nobody knew / labeled it like oh this is for ND reasons, or if it was both true i tried to come out (smh, thought i Had to b/c that was part of Not Being Cishet) and it was simply ignored / unaddressed and yet it sure fueled further specific resentment of my not Performing Gender properly, or "worse," so that went well, in that i eventually abruptly left and did not maintain contact, in the interest of "the levels to which i was thriving was like, that if i bailed and like died 50 hrs later it'd still be what i want to do," true to that i did not / don't regret it. and what do you know, i was first able to bail to a relatively nearby friend from college's home, whose family also liked me lmao. shoutout to school still being where i made Any friends, except a friend i made who was a coworker of several years. and Online Friends, which, another school connection, that like, i can more readily Connect w/people via talking about interests, something that happened Sometimes at school in person lmao but not much, but also that i Talk About Interests in a way through Drawing, which, well shoutout to doodling in the margins of papers throughout school lmfao, it didn't hurt! that's my saga.

oh and that footnote, i also really enjoyed the "in middle school you either take language classes or 4 Electives you rotate through each year" and those electives sure featured some more varied and hands on activities i had a great time with. shoutout to like, cooking, and to shop class, my Car Designs were great apparently, idk how. shoutout to my Intuition re: engineering or something lmaoo.....very fun to just end the schoolday in that big garage space where you could actually open that garage door right to where all the buses were, beautiful. Oh, and that's another footnote, when my last class of the day in 8th grade was english, i'd sometimes finish work early and my teacher would let me go to our spacious library, with the v nice librarian who'd recommend books to me she thought should be checked out more often b/c she knew i liked to read that much, and also just generally had teachers / other adult staff kinda wandering in at the end of the day, talk about "i don't really relate to other ppl my age" where i did generally prefer to be around adults, so that was fun. oh and also shoutout to hating school lmao wherein during like, middle school when the schoolday started at like 7:30am or smthing disgusting and i just learned to like, view whatever time it was in a "at least it's almost [x]" like well okay, first period is math and that kinda sucks but at least once it's over this hardest part of the day will be over, then next class is kinda more chill at least, and then it'll be the last period before lunch, etc etc etc where i could sort of keep up that stamina like telling myself at any point it was Almost [a more encouraging time of day] lmao like. kinda fucked up to have to be dragging yourself through the weekdays like that, but

Oh! goddamn and i didn't even get into that if i ever got in ~trouble~ in elementary school it was stuff like Not Paying Attention, but where half the time that might be some other kid beside me messing around lmfao and i'm not gonna be like "uhhh follow the rules!!!" (and that even when i was In Trouble like go sit in the chair where you have to be quiet there for like 10 min i might say something to some other kid in that zone and they'd be like "um it's the quiet chair you have to be quiet!!" or "uh we're getting into the next lesson and you have to put that book back asap" like wow these other kids are dweebs about Rules lmfao) and there'd just be times like, it's 1st grade and i know how to read pretty well already but we're going over the alphabet like stoppp i know the Phonics already........or the ways ND people can kind of Intuit some stuff more successfully, like in third grade learning multiplication i neverrrrr studied but just broke it down like, okay i remember the Fives b/c of telling time, i know the 2x table and stuff, i know the commutative property, if we're all the way at the 8x and i haven't Memorized stuff, i can still like, break it down to say, [5 x 8] + [8 x 2] or something when i see 8 x 7, even if it takes a second lmfao.......and stuff like the tragedy of when i Did make a friend in like, 2nd grade, who i think we didn't even talk to each other ever?? i was playing legos or smthing by myself once during Indoor Recess and she just started playing agreeably along with me, aka someone socializing on My Terms apparently as our Introduction, and we just were friends past that but one time, not even during a Lesson Session, we were messing around quietly making each other laugh as the incredibly important process of "put papers in your folders" was going on, and since we were Not Paying Attention for some reason the teacher made a whole example of it where i had to carry my desk across the classroom for the Shaming Element of it and also so that i had to permanently sit way further from that friend, so that was kind of discouragement re: interacting at all. thank you to that teacher, who'd later once Gesticulate to me from across the gym that i should put my arms down at my sides rather than being crossed (we were rehearsing some class performance) & i had no idea what she was trying to convey, so afterwards she told me i had to have Reduced Recess Time or some shit because of Ignoring her instead of putting my arms down lmfao. and i was irritated at having been misinterpreted / my Intentions dictated to me and punished like that, but i was also used to it from adults lmfao and did not bother explaining myself lol like yeah god forbid i left my arms crossed on purpose and now i have to read some more during recess. tl;dr school has so much nonsense & i def had some Times re: being autistic & also just being someone who hated school forever lmao, think it was Also 2nd grade where one arbitrary sunday night i just cried out of frustration at having to go back for another normal school week. classic. oh and that also, while i wasn't like "oooo booksmart people who hate not having a Definitive Correct Answer to things &/or ohhh autistic ppl So Good at math, in a way everyone hates and disrespects, but they suck at Literature/Arts which requires you to reflect on humanity and shit," like, not only was i the drawing kid but i was also apparently ahead of the curve as it were at like, Literary Analysis lmfao where there was a few times in elementary school i'd be the kid providing the Interpretation like "what's this poem about / what's the theme or Symbolism in this story," but from elementary school to college it's like, for god's sake don't ask me to come up with a story / work with some really open ended prompt, i don't Invent in that way, and when i try to draw on Inspiration i'll get stuck on some specific source and be unable to do anything but just rip it off really lmao. but then again i was prolific in "it's 1st grade and you write and illustrate a little short story or smthing in these booklets

that we then have a simple little binding process for" like ohhh fancy, i got a tootsie roll lollipop at Awards Time for writing a shit ton of those lol. but that's like, when you're too young to have that much of a Creative Process anyways lmao. but then, my older sister, whose Thing was writing, has an incredible 2 Volume like, noir mystery saga from those elementary school times, it's a classic lmao. anyways once again so much to say about School lol closing the door after meandering on that one for this long lol

April 6th: Are you able to drive? If so, was it difficult to learn? What was difficult about it? If not, do you use any alternatives?

i did learn to drive, tbh just universally it's like, at any point you're driving there's A Lot to pay attention to at once, even if you think you're Good At That or whatever, which i sure don't think i always am lol, and it's pretty wild we just, you know, let everyone go around as fast as they want in machines that can kill you or someone else, and this is also Unnecessary b/c like, let's have accessible & reliable public transit so that everyone can travel without Needing to have a car / someone else who will drive them. i didn't think i had too much trouble learning to drive, but it had to help that i just took it very seriously from the start lmao like, well, i'm quite aware i could kill someone with this. the driving classes i took were alright, i remember the instructor being pretty chill and friendly lol. rip to the fact i could be tense when driving with parent/s, when driving a manual i'd always like screech the tires when accelerating out of a Stop, until all at once it was like "and i'm driving that manual car alone on a road trip & wouldn't you know it, only literally once did i have that issue of not getting out of a stop smoothly enough" lmao like the Anxiety......really like yeah i had an alright time learning and think i'm solid enough at driving / like doing it, theoretically, but Driving Is Wild just in general and let's have that public transit

April 7th: How are you with sarcasm and/or metaphors/figures of speech? Do you interpret things very literally?

i think i Usually get what people mean with these Devices but i can't really say lol, but anytime you know, someone is being more Implicit in what they say, plenty of times i can infer one implication and only later realize they probably meant a different one, or yknow, i make whatever initial inference i make and can be stuck like "???" and have to like, mentally run diagrams about the interaction lol......meanwhile i'm not always remembering that like, if i'm shifting context mentally that's necessarily able to be inferred by whoever i'm talking to lol, whether it's about getting into some adjacent topic or like, i don't think it tends to be very clear even in person when i've started being sarcastic lmao, like i know that can be true for anyone but it's like well, guess i gotta make it clearer i'm doing a bit......flipside of that or something lmao that people are more Obvious than they think they are sometimes about like, idk, when someone is sort of making some sarcastic remark to you but the sarcasm is also sort of only to themself, aka just like okay i know you mean this more dismissively / disparagingly than re: what you're saying just at face value lol like. just always fun >:/

[milky-mochi]

before you (2) | cyj

genre: nerd! yeonjun, nerd! reader, aged up! yeonjun, college! au, boyfriend! yeonjun

pairing: choi yeonjun x reader

summary: falling in love with choi yeonjun was like breezing through the chapters of a book, with highlights of him bookmarked in your head.

listen to: 🎶 me after you - paul kim 🎶

chapters: intro | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

the first time you realised you liked yeonjun, you couldn’t believe you had been blind to it for so long.

four months had passed since that first day of library club. since then, you and yeonjun formed a friendship you had come to depend on. it started out by sitting next to each other during lectures. then, it evolved into study calls, which turned into talking on the phone for hours. at the height of it all, your weekly study sessions.

thursdays were reserved for your time with yeonjun, when you both would sit at the cute little cafe across the road and pour over your books. misery felt a little less bad when done with another person.

initially, you were just there for the friendship. the study sessions became a source of comfort. the both of you were working hard to keep your reputation afloat, and yeonjun was the only one who understood your struggles. he felt your pain and your joy. there was sincere companionship in this boy that you had never found in anyone before.

eventually, these meetings meant more and more to you. they became the highlight of your day, before climbing its way into becoming the highlight of your week. before you knew it, you depended on it so much that just thinking about it brought you excitement.

but you didn’t even realise it then. you did, however, in one study session.

one thursday, your professor asked to see you after class. at first, you didn’t want to go for it. you were waiting anxiously to go see yeonjun instead. the temptation to give your professor an excuse and run off was overwhelming, but he did mention giving you some good news, and the overachiever in you had to give in.

picking up your phone, you speedily dialed yeonjun’s number. he picked up after only three rings of the dial tone, startling you. in the background, you heard the sound of cars driving by, indicating that yeonjun was already off campus.

“hey y/n! i’ll be there in a few, i’m walking over now!”

“hey yeonjun, i’m so sorry, i’m gonna be late. my professor has something to tell me so he asked me to meet him after class. i’ll probably be like, 15 minutes.”

you braced yourself for his reaction, expecting his voice to fall in disappointment or disapprovement and your heart to twist in pain. instead, his chirpy voice rang in your ears. “oh it’s okay don’t worry about it! i hope it’s good news?”

you sighed in relief, releasing a breath you didn’t even realise you were holding. “he slipped that it was regarding a new opportunity, so it should be good?”

“hell yeah! go get that thing! whatever it is! i’ll wait for you at the cafe, yeah?” yeonjun said.

you laughed before humming in agreement. seeing your professor bidding you to come over, you ended the call and made your way over to his desk.

“hi professor, you wanted to see me?”

“right, y/n,” your professor started, gathering a stack of papers, “you know about the praestantia award right?”

everyone knew what the praestantia award was. it was the most prestigious scholarship a person your age could get. the scholarship was a guaranteed ticket to all the embellishments on your portfolio. all the opportunities you were dying for would easily be within your reach.

“yes of course, sir.”

“well it’s nomination period, and the english faculty has decided to nominate you under the language category,” he said, handing you an envelope. “i’ve emailed you the portal for the application, and these are the resources you’ll need to complete your application. thank you for all your hard work, y/n.”

receiving the envelope with a nod, you smiled graciously at your professor. your heart was beating out of your body with excitement. all your hard work had finally paid off into something you could be proud of. as soon as you saw your professor leave, you scooped your bag out and dashed out of the lecture theatre, heading straight for the cafe.

after running at top speed, you reached the cafe. grabbing the handles of the glass front doors, you swung them open. inside, yeonjun sat comfortably, staring down at his books. a single earbud was in his ear as he picked his pen up to write something down. his coffee sat patiently beside his pencil case.

“hey yeonjun i’m so sorry i’m late,” you sighed, sliding into your seat. after placing your bag down, you took another look at the table. raising your eyebrows, you asked, “what’s all this?”

yeonjun flashed you a sheepish smile. “well, you said you were gonna get good news, so i wanted your coffee to be here by the time you were. i got you a cake too!” he said, gesturing to the second drink and plate in front of him. “i got your favourite, hot white chocolate mocha, and the red velvet cake. i even got them to add marshmallows into the coffee, since we come here so often.”

you felt like melting, like said marshmallows were melting into your mocha.

he remembered your order. not only did he remember it perfectly, he remembered the coffee you drank for celebration, which was different from the coffee you drank when you were sad (a cold brew with coconut milk and extra sugar, yeonjun remembered that too).

“yeonjun, oh my goodness, thank you so much,” you gushed, “how much was the coffee and the cake? i’ll pay you back-”

“don’t worry about it,” yeonjun waved, melting you with yet another smile, “my treat. you deserve this, y/n.”

shit.

it was at that moment awareness knocked on the door of your mind. everything fell in place: all the stolen glances, all your smiles at the thought of him. this was the moment you realised your oblivion melted away to reveal what you had been blind to: you liked choi yeonjun.

it was, however, a very weird moment for you to realise. it was nothing like all the love scenes you had read in your books. usually the female lead came to this epiphany when the male lead hugged her in the spur of the moment, or when she got jealous of another girl, or even when he brushed his hand against hers to reach for something.

but no. you realised you liked yeonjun because he bought you coffee and a cake.

but it really did mean a lot to you. it meant so much that yeonjun cared for you enough to want to celebrate your good news, without even knowing what it was for. he made you feel seen. so, maybe, it wasn’t that weird at all.

“thank you, yeonjun,” you thanked him once again.

he smiled and told you to try the cake. you complied, picking up the fork and scraping a piece off its side. when you tasted it, your face lit up. yeonjun laughed at your smile and offered you a napkin to wipe the cream cheese frosting from the corner of your mouth.

over cake and coffee, you talked instead of studying, for the first time this semester. usually, your conversations would unfold on the way to the bus stop afterwards, and on the bus home. but that day was not a usual day, given the two new pieces of information that had shaken your world. that day, the both of you had synced mentally, subconsciously aware of the fact that both of you wanted companionship, and not to study.

you talked for a long time, about anything and everything. about all the weird times you’d experienced together: the time you caught two people making out during library club, the time your professor brought his dog to class, the time an old lady asked you guys for a recommendation on the cakes and then bought you said cake. you talked until every drop of coffee had been sipped and the white plate by your side held nothing but maroon crumbs.

once yeonjun realised that you were both finished, he asked, “by the way, what did your professor want to tell you just now?”

“oh,” you said, mouth full of your last bite of cake. you swallowed it before continuing with a proud smile staining your face. “he told me the english faculty is nominating me for the praestantia award. under the language category!”

yeonjun let out a laugh, a mixture of surprise, happiness and pride. he put his hand up, offering you a high five. “y/n that’s incredible! you deserve it so much!”

smiling brightly, you high fived yeonjun. in his excitement, yeonjun held your hand and shook it as he commended you on your achievement. he gushed about all the opportunities it would bring you, about how high you could fly with that award. he didn’t even realise your hand in his.

a blush crept up on your cheeks as you felt yeonjun’s fingers on your. how else could you respond when the guy you liked held your hand, and didn’t even realise it?

it took yeonjun a while, but when he did realise, he pulled his hand away, the same way you did the first time you placed your hand on his shoulder during library club. under his breath, he muttered a sorry as he darted his gaze away from you. you swore you could have seen a light pink dust his cheeks too.

yeonjun cleared his throat to try clearing the awkwardness lingering in the air. “well you did amazing y/n. i’m so proud of you! we should go celebrate.”

your ears perked up at his words. he wanted to celebrate your achievement? with just the two of you? your heart picked up speed as you nodded meekly, unwilling to reveal what you were actually thinking.

“where do you wanna go?” yeonjun asked, almost nervously, as he placed his hands on the table.

“the new bookshop across town,” you answered, almost too quickly. “i heard they have cats in it, and they publish their own poetry. they publish their books with the binding i like.”

“the ones with a wide margin before the text starts?” yeonjun asked. he didn’t know why he did, if he was being honest. of course he remembered your favourite type of book binding. you liked it that way because then you could read without creasing the spine of the book.

delighted that yeonjun remembered such a little thing, you nodded with spritely energy. “and they use e.b. garamond!”

looking at you geeking over the books, yeonjun laughed and promised to bring you there over the weekend. it excited you to no end. but you had to chastise yourself for being unabashedly thrilled to go to the bookstore with him. your heart swelled with unknown and unfamiliar feelings, categorizable only by whatever you had read in books. and yet, you told yourself that your life wasn’t a romance novel. this crush would go like all the ones you had before. it would result in a one-sided pining for someone who would never like you back. you told yourself not to get too ahead of yourself and to cut all this crush stuff out. yeonjun could never like you back.

but little did you know, yeonjun’s heart resounded with the same feelings for you.

---

next chapter

[ohnoyoonoh]

thirty days | jaehyun fanfic x reader | TRYOUTS DAY 2 | words | lowkey sexual jokes, but it’s really nothing | “italicized words like this” are them talking in english | italicized words like this are just thoughts

walking around that campus, you taken in the spring breeze. oh the sweet pollen that you didn’t miss. you were an exchange student from the maple trees of canada. you wanted to be part of the exchange program, so you can set foot of your grandparents’ homeland. luckily the university you attend in canada had an exchange program to south korea. you were surprised that the exchange student program was still accepting, usually they end during the beginning of the semester. there was an exception to those who were trying out for a sport, in which a certain family member would be. so, you were able to join him through the exchange student program. your younger brother had moved to south korea with you with high hopes of being part of his favorite college baseball team, the neo university’s neo dragons. he has dreamed to be a dragon ever since he was a liitle boy, but he did fall out of the college’s baseball’s loop once he committed to the college baseball of north america and major league baseball. 

you pulled your phone out of your pocket seeing if your brother texted you back. he didn’t really say when tryouts started or ended. you honestly wondered if he made any new friends. he always was able to make friends wherever he went. he was an open kid and wasn’t afraid to do anything. but, maybe the new air of south korea made him feel timid. you were worried, despite him being happy yesterday night. you were sure that he would be okay, you think. 

seeing there weren’t any new notifications, you sighed. maybe, south korean air has changed him to not talking to you, but you truly knew he was at tryouts, working his hardest. over dinner, he talked about how practice went. he ended up meeting the star pitcher from university of florida, jung jaehyun, and he was nervous that he wouldn’t reach the starter position or even the top five pitchers. he described this jung jaehyun as a little arrogant but defended him as players who try out must be arrogant and confident otherwise, you wouldn’t make the team. but, baseball players aren’t your thing anyways. dating isn’t your thing, no matter how many romance novels you enjoy. 

seeing your phone is already in your hand, you checked your schedule when you could head to the library and study for your classes and complete some assignments. it was a little too early for your brother to leave practice and too late for lunch, so it was perfect to fill empty time to head to the library. you wondered where the library was anyways, you barely knew the campus. you turned your head to see if any students were lingering around to ask where the library is. there weren’t any except two baseball players. are they late to practice? you decided to try your luck anyways, plus they were coming your way 

“hi, i don’t know if you guys are from here. but do you know where the library is?” you questioned. you looked at them, the bright blue dye showing through the shorter male’s baseball cap. the taller male had a natural hair color, but it was longer in length. it seemed similar to the hairstyle you’ve seen from the baseball team back in high school. never again.

“oh, we’re not from here. but we’ve been trying to find the baseball field entrance and we don’t know where it is, we saw the field we needed to be at but the gate there needed like a security pass or something like that. and no one was there, so we thought we went to the wrong one,” the blue-haired male answered, holding his phone up to show the message with the information to where they needed to be. “our team’s phones are off due to a rule from our coach, so we can’t call. the coaches and team manager aren’t picking up our calls.”

you understood, and your assumptions of them being from another university were confirmed. as a student of your university, it would be your job to show them where it was. “ah.. do you want me to show you both where it is?” 

“if you can, but we wouldn’t to take away from your study time,” the black-haired answered your question. you really didn’t have anything better to do anyways. major tests weren’t for another couple of weeks. your group project wasn’t mandatory, neither were any essays due. your part time job as a tutor wasn’t starting until later in the month. in addition to helping them, making friends between the university’s rival would be beneficial to the school, i guess. the baseball field wasn’t even that far. 

“i’m not that busy, plus it would be great to see my brother since it’s still tryouts for them. just follow me,” you smiled, walking the other way. picking up your brother from practice the day before helped you remember where the neo park was. you just needed to find shortcuts, just in case there was a time you were late to a game. today wouldn’t be the day to do that, just play it safe.

“so.. baseball team are all usually together. how did you guys get stranded? unless you’re trying out for the baseball team here,” you asked. the silence was bugging you and couldn’t do it anymore. you could see that they looked at each other, communicating with their eyes. something you and your brother would typically do when you both were in trouble from your mom. finally, the two came into conclusion as they stopped. you guessed that they were deciding who was going to answer as the blue-hared talked first.

“we got lost after eating lunch at the cafeteria. wooseok needed to use the bathroom, so i waited with him. when we got back to where everyone was waiting, they were gone because someone took too long,” he emphasized on someone by looking at him. wooseok threw his hands up in defense, “someone in the restroom was taking forever.”

the blue-haired male grumbled, “or, maybe you took too long taking pictures.”

before wooseok could defend himself, you interrupted them, “it’s okay. you guys will be there in no time.”

the rest of the walk there was silent. you made it to the actual baseball venue but needed to go around to arrive at the actual field. the taller fellow started bickering with the other quietly. you could easily hear what they were talking about. 

“ah, we were here earlier. i told you this was the right way.”

“no, you didn’t. you said that way was the right way.”

so they actually got here, how did they manage to walk ten minutes from the field? you shrugged it off, they probably had more reasons as to why they got separated. reaching the main field, you see multiple teams as the colors differed from the green that the neo dragons wore. 

“thank you for taking us here. we would’ve been late,” the two in front of you bowed in thanks. 

you waved it off, “nah, it’s no problem. have fun with your scrimmages!”

they both nodded. wooseok seemed to see their team, running off. the blue-haired male stayed, “so, i feel bad for taking your time to show us the field.”

“no, you’re good! i get to see my brother play.”

“i wanna pay you back somehow. is it okay if i get your number or like some sort of social media to contact you?” he held his phone out, the notes app opened. you laughed out of nervousness. this was definitely a first for you, well in college of course. typically people only needed your information to do a group project or work.

you taken the phone, wondering what you would give him. the only thing you could think of was your twitter and instagram. “you don’t have to pay me back, but..” your last word lingered as you typed in your social media handles. “here’s my twitter and instagram. i put both just in case.”

receiving his phone back, he bowed and a bright smile was showcased. you couldn’t help but smile back. he talked first, “well-”

the male was cut off by wooseok who came back to retrieve him, “kino, yah! coach is about kick your ass if you don’t hurry up. i told him you were in the restroom. i’m pretty sure he sees you because you’re the only who has bright ass blue hair.”

“well, i gotta go! thanks again, [name].” kino was dragged off by the taller kid. you laughed once they were gone. oh how you missed playing a sport and the relationship between players. watching them go, you were suddenly surprised by a voice behind you. you didn’t hear what they said but you knew that voice anywhere.

“kim dami, stop doing that!” you turned to look at her. “plus, why are you here?”

“just coming by to drop food off for my brother, which i did. then i saw you here with two guys. so...” the ending of her sentence turned sing-songy. you knew what that implied. 

“no. i don’t have a boyfriend. i gave him instagram, because he said he would pay me back,” you crossed your arms. of course, your best friend would tease you, because that’s what best friends are for.

“pay you back in what way?” she suggestively questioned.

“yah! i swear, nothing of that sorts. gosh, you’re so annoying,” you rolled your eyes. you knew dami since you were a baby. growing up, she always had jokes up her sleeves. she knew when to brighten up the mood especially to those who are close to her. 

she hugged you from the side, “you know you love me.”

you grumbled, but you agreed. she was truly a third of your rock. the other third was mark. the last third was gone and not taken by anyone. you didn’t think anyone would fill that void.

“i brought extra food, you wanna sit with me and watch the neo university versus yonsei?” she asked. you knew she was going to drag you anyways whether you liked it or not. to take the safer way, you hummed in agreement. she led you to where she was camping out for the next couple of hours to watch the games. “i heard this was the official cutting day.”

“really? i thought tryouts lasted till tomorrow?” you grabbed an apple slice, eating it as you watched the neo dragons and yonsei eagles finish their warm ups.

“yeah, but usually the last day of tryouts is to see the chemistry of their final decisions. they cut some people out on the results but that’s unlikely. they know who they want already,” she said. “plus the scrimmages last for a couple weeks. today and tomorrow are also to see whether the people they want are truly who they want, because games are typically show how they use their skills. you can practice all you want but if you can’t use those skills, you’re out.”

you nodded, understanding. you found that wooseok and kino were on yonsei university. i think i’m honestly stupid, i can never read sometimes. then, you see your brother with the other dragons. until, he got sent to the bullpen to practice pitching. you sighed, but as long as he makes it will be enough for you. probably not enough for him. 

“since there’s a bunch of players trying out due to the star pitcher from university of florida, they had to use the backup fields,” dami continued to talk. she’s all about sports.”but this field is for the people who have the most likeliness of making the team. i’m glad mark is doing his thing, he’s always been a really good baseball player. i’m just worried that neo dragons will continue plummeting ever since the 07 left for the MLB. but who knows, maybe they can change that. it’s the only sport we’ve not been doing so hot on. plus, they have multiple tournaments to go to. one of them is in japan!”

“damn. i just hope this is a good season for them.”

“me, too. look there he is, the infamous jung jaehyun.”

not gonna lie, but he’s kinda hot.

---

NEOZONE:

@jaehyunxyoonoh​ @powerstobe

[almondeyes-biased]

Birthday celebration fanfic for my one and only bby boy, Im Changkyun! I love him so so so much I wish him what's best 💓

Disclaimer: please excuse any errors, English is not my first language and I wrote this really late after finishing a paper for university. Love you all

Word count: 1.3k

Pairing: Im Changkyun x reader

Summary: Changkyun is there to save an awful day at school.

highschool!au, student!au, changkyun highschool boy!au

.

.

.

 I can’t remember, and probably don’t want to, the first time I walked past my new school doors and took a look around. I remember, however, the feeling of terror I had, as the last time I changed school things didn’t go so well. Actually, I am the exact opposite of a girl who would never speak or be silent. I am very loud, I am loud even when I’m trying to whisper. I laugh really loudly, something that might cause others to look at me with the corner of their eye, as if I have committed the worst crime humanity every witnessed. And for that, I draw attention. Not always for a good cause. For example, I remember when I was 15, when a group of girls I considered my “friends” ditched me because I “ruined their image” and after that, another girl I really appreciated who always shushed me when we were taking walks because she wanted the boys to notice her. 

So when my parents announced me that we were moving city, I was mortified. Being the class clown in a school that they already know you is way better than having to make a brand new start in another, where no one knows you. Personally, I would prefer to find a job in an actual circus than having to go through the hell of trying to socialize in a new high school. 

Long story short, I have been in this school for some months now, it is near the end of the first semester. And I can’t believe I am actually saying this, but things are going better than expected. I hang out with some kids, I wouldn’t call them exactly “friends” but they’re okay. They are patient with me, at least. I haven’t heard a single complaint about me being loud or a comment about my laughter, so I guess that’s fine for now. I don’t think I would like to tie things with people right now, given that it’s just a year and I guess I won’t get to see most of them after high school is over. I don’t feel they really cared for that anyway. 

I can’t say that the past months have not changed me. It’s probably the music I’m currently listening to, the poetry I’ve grown so much fond of, or both at a time, but I feel like I notice things more now. The small, unimportant things I didn’t pay attention to earlier, now they seem like the ones who shape my every day. I think I am calmer now. Same loud, but calmer. But not having a person to tell my secrets to or trust more than others is really killing me, because at the end of the day all I have left is my parents, but I am 18 years old. What secrets could I have, you’ll ask. 

Well, there is a boy. 

He is not very tall, with light brown, probably dyed but still so healthy, hair, and almond eyes. And with the beautiful smile I have ever seen in my life. He is in my year but has different classes, but still I get to see him in some classes of choice we have in common, in choir (the boy has the most seductive voice I have heard, I’m telling you), literature and subtitling. I think he is in the music section while I am in Linguistics, but still meet him before classes and in most breaks. His name is Changkyun, I only hear it when teachers call for him. I haven’t had the chance to talk to him more than a simple exchange of greeting down the hallway, he is really shy and I don’t want to bother him with my loudness, I don’t think he’d appreciate his calmness being shattered.

 He is not often surrounded by a bunch of people, like others of our classmates. He is not the type to talk much, to express himself with every chance he’s given. Every time I see him, he is silent and throws a glance or two, with a couple of small, cute smiles here and there to the person he’s talking to. He is the exact opposite of me, in all means.

And maybe that’s why I fell for him in the first place.

That one particular day, I was not really in the mood for much. First period sucked, and I was in serious thinking of dropping out for the day. When the bell rang, I gathered my stuff and put my earphones on. I walked down the hallway, not saying a word to anyone and avoiding the glances of my classmates and teachers, and got out of the door, to the backyard of the school. Instead of running off, I threw my bag on the ground and sat on it, thank god there was only a few people around and I could have some time alone for once in this school. I took a deep breath and moved my head to the rhythm of “everything i wanted.” This song I felt a lot those days, and still do. 

Caught in the moment, I didn’t notice the figure that moved close to me. So I jumped and let out a small scream when a hand touched my shoulder. I turned around and-

“Sorry, I didn’t men to scare you. I just didn’t think anyone else would be here at this hour,” Changkyun said, giving me his hand to help me get up. I sighed, relieved that it was only him who, to be honest, was the only person who wouldn’t bother me at that time. I got up and thanked him. 

“I never thought I’d see you sitting alone, most of the time you have some people around, not many but still,” he continued.

“I don’t feel like talking much today, I thought I could use some time for myself.” When I realized I could have pushed him away with my words, I added: “You’re no bother, of course.” He smiled and sat next to me.

“What are you doing here?” I asked him. He smiled shyly and avoided my glance.

“I wasn’t in the mood for math today, so I think I’ll skip.”

I raised my eyebrow, a small smile on my lips.

“You don’t seem like the kind of guy who skips classes,” I said, and he laughed quietly.

“Oh believe me, sometimes I am very much the type of guy who skips classes.”

There was something in the way he spokexor it was probably my mere excitement that I was finally talking to him more than a simple hello, and I made a funny noise,which caused me to almost laugh at myself. But soon enough I covered my mouth with my hand, afraid I would embarrass myself again, and gave him a shy glance as some guys turned around and looked at me, and I cursed myself for the first time for being so loud. He shook his head and touched me feather-like on my arm, then quickly removed his hand.

“D-Don’t hold it back, I like it when people laugh their hearts out,” he said.

“My laughter is a people’s persecutor at times,” I said bitterly. “People think being loud is a very dangerous and contagious disease.”

“I don’t,” he said immediately, which made me turn and look at him. “I don’t mind people being loud, though I am not at all like it. And- ” he cut himself off as if he was measuring his next words. I looked at him with cocked eyebrows, but he avoided my glance.

“You’re cute when you laugh.”

“You- I- You think I am cute?” I asked him, stressing out the “I.” He nodded, biting his lower lip and not looking at me more than stealing some glances, as he used to do anyway. I smiled.

“I am Changkyun, by the way.” I nodded.

“I know. I am Y/N.”

“I remember, although I haven’t heard you a lot in class,” he pointed out and I nodded.

“I don’t really like being orally examined in class, I prefer written exams.”

“You like singing, though.”

He had noticed.

He didn’t give me time to reply when, after looking around first, he turned to me again and said quietly with a cutely mischievous glance:

“I know a bookstore with slow rock music where they offer coffee to those who sit there to study or read, wanna come with me?”

“You said you’re skipping only math class,” I said, and he laughed quietly before grabbing my hand, getting up and throwing his backpack over his shoulders while waiting for me to do the same, and then guided me out of the school doors, carefully so that no one would notice. 

“I changed my mind.”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Head canon: non con professor Steve, angry With reader for always skipping his hard ass English lit class or not doing his work. She shows up to one class and he makes her stay after school. She tries to leave after he insults her but he wasn’t having it

On your first day, you never would have guess that Professor Rogers was such a hard ass. Turns out, he was such a hard ass he was surely constipated. A paper a week and several chapters of reading. You weren’t sure he realized you had other classes.

Well, you were late and that surely hadn’t helped his temperament. You’re usual routine. Duck your head down, come in the back door, sneak in to the furthest rows and sink down until you were invisible. Didn’t matter. He called you out. “So nice of you to join us at last.”

You cringed and sat. You opened your books in a hurry and dropped one in the process. He paused at the disturbance before continuing. The rest of the lecture passes in similar misery and you’re eager to hand in your paper and run.

Your trapped in the snail’s pace of students. You follow, your paper gripped in your sweaty hand. Rogers is behind his desk packing up his messenger bag. Several have a look of pure fear as they set their paper on the pile. He turns as you approach. He smiles. That’s not good.

“I think we should have a talk,” He says as you set down your essay. You blanch and nod. What else can you do. We’ll wait for some privacy,” He keeps his voice low, “I don’t like to broadcast these things.”

A couple other students give you sympathic looks but quickly retreat. The crowd thins and you watch helplessly. Rogers is untroubled. He sits at his desk and flips through a folder. The lecture hall empties out and he gathers the pile of papers. He’s silent as he tucks them into his bag.

“Sit,” he waves to the front row of seats. 

You sit and cradle your bag in your lap. You cling to the top and he stands. He comes around his desk and leans on it, one foot over the other as his hands cling to the edge.

“You can’t be late every week.” He sighs. “Next class, I’m locking the door five minutes in. Go it?”

“Yes,” You answer meekly.

“You knew attendance was ten percent of your mark. It’s in the syllabus,” He taps his toe against the other. “And your forums. You’re smart but I can tell when you’ve skimmed the readings...give yourself a chance. You’ve got a lot of potential.”

“I’m sorry, I just--”

“Have a lot of work. Other classes. I get it but you signed up for an advanced literature course. I didn’t put your name on the roster.” He stands straight and crosses his arms. “Is that it? You don’t wanna be here?”

“No, of course I want to be here,” You say defensively. “I...I’m sorry.”

He nods and thinks. His blue eyes trace the path of his feet before he walks it. He stops a few feet away. “I mean it, you’re throwing away a lot of brain cells for what? Frat boys and kegs?”

“Excuse me?”

“I know you, uni girls. Seen my fair share. You realize those boys forget you by the next morning. You’re just another notch--”

“You don’t know me,” You stand, “And don’t assume like you do.”

You try to step past him, intent on dropping the class before the cut off date. He blocks you before you can get away from the seat. 

“I didn’t dismiss you. Sit down.” He stares you down and you’re stunned. He takes the bag from your arms and you slowly lower yourself back into the seat. “Now, even if you start keeping track of your time and doing your work like a good girl, you’re not going to get more than a seventy.”

“Seventy? We’re not even halfway through the semester? That makes--”

“Unless,” He raises a finger, “Unless you put in some extracurricular work.”

Great, another paper. You crossed your arms and lean back with a sneer. But your heart stills as his hand lowers. You hear his zipper and follow the movement of his fingers. You can see his bulge pressing against his beige trousers.

“I...” You grip the arms of the chair and glance at the door.

“You know, your fourth year you need a rec for the research course. It’s co-op and...well, wouldn’t you know it I’m the department coordinator. It’s a mandatory credit.” He parts his fly and rubs himself through his briefs as he steps closer. “So I would say you should give me a reason to write a shining recommendation.”

You gape up at him and snap your lips shut. You push yourself into the chair. Mortified. His cock is out now and you try not to look. He watches you. Expectant. Knowing. You have no choice. This is your major. It’s too late to switch to history.

“You seem pretty adept with that mouth,” He slithers, “At least you’ve got some lip on you.”

“Shut up,” You lean forward and urge yourself to look.

He’s big. Fuck. Your jaw already hurts. You can feel his smugness. The satisfaction. You wrap your fingers around him and your breath glosses over his tip as you get closer. You glide your lips over him and he lets out a wisp of a breath.

You stretch your mouth over him until he’s at your throat. You stop but he pushes deeper. You’re about to gag. You cling to him and bob your head. He groans. As your saliva slickens him, it gets easier. 

You move your hand in time with your mouth. He’s leaning into you now. Your swirl your tongue around the head and drag it along his length. Habit. Muscle memory. Desperation. Call it what you will, it seems to be working.

You can feel him shudder. He’s close. You’re about to pull away. He catches you and hold himself inside of you as he cums. You choke and his cum seeps out around his cock. It drops down onto his briefs.

He releases you and you gasp. You pull away and wipe your mouth. Your throat is on fire. He grabs the scarf slung over your bag and cleans himself off with it. He drops it in your lap and zips up his fly as he turns away.

“Don’t be late again,” He says as he grabs his jacket. “Go on,” He slings his messenger bag over his shoulder, “Go enjoy your night...get some reading done.”

[taeken-my-heart]

Moirai Chapter 4

Summary: On your 18th birthday a name appears on your wrist. The name of your soulmate. It’s a momentous day that everyone looks forward to, but you’ve always brushed aside; refusing to believe in a fickle mistress called destiny. But what happens when on the morning of your 18th birthday you wake to find the name of your mortal enemy? Jeon Jungkook. 

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Soulmates au/ Enemies to lovers au. Angst, fluff, bickering, romance, eventual smut.

Word Count: 5106

Notes: There is a read more placed after the first paragraph, but we all know tumblr is weird so if it doesn’t show up I’m sorry :(

                                                          *****

Mondays sucked. You were pretty sure that was a hard and fast rule by now, but as you rolled up to school looking like an actual hot mess and with your sweatshirt on backwards (don’t ask, you weren’t actually sure how that happened but you did dress in the dark this morning so…) you were even more sure of that fact.

Ella complained the entire way about your mom not being able to drop you off and now you felt like your ears were bleeding as she rushed off in the direction of her friends; a new audience to voice her frustrations to.

You hiked your bag higher on your shoulder, aiming for the doors of the school. You had an AP bio test today that you’d spent the weekend studying for, which sucked because those were hours of your life you couldn’t get back and would rather have given to Lucas. As it was, he had only about a week and a half left before he had to go back for the next semester.

He insisted that when you graduated you could just go to college with him and then you’d get more time together…it just felt so far away. The hallways were filled with the zombies of the weekend and the others that were far too chipper this early in the morning. You liked to think you fell somewhere in between. You weren’t exactly happy to be awake, but you’d made it past the point of zombie thanks to a clumsy journey of dressing yourself in the darkness of your room.  

The sea green of your locker came into view and you shuffled up to it, twisting the combination into the lock and pulling it open. AP bio was first so at least you could get the test out of the way and breathe a little easier after.

“Hey there, sister in law.”

You turned to find Lillian, long strawberry blonde hair swept up into a ponytail and a goofy smile attached to her barbie pink lips. “Wow, that’s a statement.” You said, pointing at her mouth and she grinned wider, shrugging the books in her arms higher.

“Figured I’d give something new a try. Is it a good statement or a bad statement?”

You turned to look at your friend, frowning in dismay. “We’ve been over this, everything on you is a good statement, you rude girl. You can’t be smart, nice, and beautiful too. You need to share with the rest of us.”

“Oh stop,” Lillian chuckled, “you’re literally the entire package, Y/N, so I don’t even want to hear it.”

Noelle came strutting up beside you, hip pressed to the lower locker next to yours, sunglasses still covering her eyes and eyebrow raised. “Did I hear correctly? Is one Mr. Jeon Jungkook really your English tutor?”

“Wha-?” You spluttered, watching as Noelle pushed her sunglasses from the bridge of her nose and to the crown of her head. “Why would you even think that? Are people seriously saying that? The tea must be empty if that’s what people are concerned about.”

“I don’t hear a denial,” Noelle sing songed and you rolled your eyes, grabbing your AP Bio book and closing your locker.

"OK, no, I’m gonna go ahead and put a stop to that right now. He’s not my English tutor, I’d rather choke. I do take my education seriously, though, so I probably should find a tutor.”

“Seriously enough to take advice from your worst enemy?” Noelle asked, turning to walk beside you as you and Lillian began walking towards your classes. “Wow, this must be the real deal.”

“It’s really not.” You muttered darkly and you could see Noelle grinning from the corner of you eye. “And I just told you he’s not my tutor. Anyway, this is my class so I’ll see you guys later. Bye!” You waved quickly, stepping into the classroom and going to take your seat.

                                                       ******

After lunch was finished and you retreated to your English lit class, you waited until Jungkook and pool party Barbie were seated before going and finding a seat as far away from him as possible. Unfortunately, that meant the back right corner, but beggars couldn’t be choosers in a situation like this.

Ms. Collins passed back the first draft of your essay, weaving her way around the room and you frowned down at the very average C written in dark blue ink. You would never get the hang of this crap. No matter what you did, you couldn’t figure out what you were doing wrong.

You sighed, shoving the essay into your backpack and scratching at the wood of your desk with your fingernail. “Remember,” she said, now standing back at the front of the room, “the second draft is due this time next week so make sure you’re doing your research and putting in the effort; you don’t have much time to slack off.”

The lesson passed with you taking a few measly notes and a new list of words you needed to memorize for a small spelling test next week. Ms. Collins then turned on the Kenneth Branagh version of Hamlet and you sat back to try and comprehend at least some of it. You weren’t sure what Shakespeare was on, but it had to be good considering he was making up words and crap and still managed to become one of the greatest playwrights of all time.

The bell rung, signaling the end of class and you lifted your bag onto the table, sliding your books into your bag as you allowed the rest of your classmates to trickle from the room. You just wanted some time to pout by yourself. What was the point in a second draft if you still had no clue what you were even doing wrong in the first draft?

Standing sluggishly, you made your way to the front of the room, eyes trained on the door as you began to prepare yourself for a refresher on the Civil war.

“Y/N, can I speak to you really quick?” Ms. Collins smiled and you nodded, pulling at the strap of your bag and walking to her desk.

“Everything OK?” You asked.

“Well, I’ve noticed you’re having a bit of a tough time with some of our assignments so I wanted to talk to you about the idea of me assigning you a tutor from class.”

“Yeah,” you nodded, “I have thought about getting a tutor but I wasn’t actually sure how to go about finding someone in the class with the time and skills to help me.”

“It’s no problem, I’ve already got someone in mind. Actually, I asked him earlier if he’d be willing to help out and he said he’d be happy to.”

“Oh!” You smiled in surprise. “That’s great, I really appreciate it.”

“Great, so I’ll let Jungkook know you are game and you guys can figure out the details.” She smiled, shuffling some papers around on her desk and you felt like your heart fell into the pit of your stomach.

“Jungkook?” You stuttered, and she looked up at you.

“Yeah, is that a problem?”

“Ah,” you hesitated, glancing around the room in discomfort, “It’s just, we…have our differences.”

“Well, he’s the highest in the class and he’s got time until the soccer season starts in the spring. He’s the best candidate. Perhaps it’s best to put differences aside. I’m all for positive collaboration and learning to work with people you don’t always get along with; you’ll need those skills when you’re older and going into the workforce.”

You sighed, nodding and pouting. “I know, it’s just…Jungkook and I have a weird history.” You mumbled, scuffing the toe of your shoe against the floor.

“Maybe it’s time to let bygones be bygones.” Ms. Collins smiled. “Anyway, you better run, class starts soon. Just give it a try for me, hmm?”

You sighed, nodding. There was no point in fighting against it; Ms. Collins was nice, but bullheaded. When she’d made up her mind, you couldn’t change it. “OK.”

After school you sulked your way to the courtyard. Ella had texted to tell you she was meeting up with friends and not to wait up and you still couldn’t get the whole Jungkook being your new tutor crap out of your head.

“Y/n!��� Someone shouted and you turned to find Noelle running to your side, long dark curls swinging haphazardly around her face. “Are you walking home?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, looking over her shoulder, “you wanna join?”

“Yes please!” She grinned. Just as you started walking again another person was calling out your name and you turned your head just in time to see Jungkook coming to walk beside you.

“What do you want?” You grimaced. He smirked, nodding his head at Noelle in greeting before turning his attention back to you.

“Ms. Collins told me you agreed to tutoring. When did you want to set something up?”

You grumbled under your breath. Of course, she’d already told him. “I don’t know, to be honest I don’t think you could even take this seriously. Maybe we should just call it off. I’m fine with just skating by. English isn’t my thing, that’s ok.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes, bumping your shoulder with his and you frowned up at him. “Of course, I’ll take this seriously,” he said, “I do some paid tutoring on the side and it would hurt my reputation to mess it up with someone out of spite.”

“I’m not paying you, Jungkook.” You said, linking your arm with Noelle who was listening quietly by your side.

“No payment necessary, I’ll tutor you for free since we’re such good friends.” He grinned.

You scoffed. “Since when?”

“Come on, Y/N, help me build my tutoring portfolio. Besides, I already told my mom about it yesterday after Ms. Collins asked so your mom will probably be expecting it.”

“Geez, do you share everything with your mom?” You sneered.

“Absolutely.” He chuckled. “So, what do you say?”

Noelle nudged your side and you glanced at her. “Come on,” she smiled, “you were talking about needing a tutor anyway. Jungkook’s really smart, let him help you.”

“Fine.” You sighed, “But if you pull any funny business, I swear I’ll castrate you.”

“Scouts honor!” He saluted and Noelle giggled as he sent a wink her way.

“Well, anyway,” she said, pushing some hair from her face, “I need to head this way. I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N!”

“So really we can start anytime,” Jungkook continued as you resumed your walk home, “we could even start tonight if you wanted to. I could help you with the second draft.”

“I don’t know.” You mumbled, forcing your gaze anywhere but him. His hair was parted and swept off to each side, dark and slightly too long, reaching just passed his eyes. He pushed his hair back with his hand as though he could hear your thoughts and you sighed. Why was he so good looking? You hated him.

“Come on, no backing out now. I swear, I’ll be a good boy, just let me help you.” He smiled, three fingers up in a scout’s honor.

“Fine,” you acquiesced, “but any funny business and I swear I’ll punch you straight up the butthole.”

“Graphic,” Jungkook nodded, “I like it.”

You walked up the pathway to your house, Jungkook trailing behind you. Sliding the key from your pocket, you unlocked the door and made your way inside, kicking your shoes off at the threshold. Jungkook closed the door behind him, stepping from his shoes and into the hallway.

“Mom, I’m home!” He called, and you looked up at him with a frown.

“Jungkook?” Your mom called, stepping from the kitchen with a smile, “hey honey, what are you doing here?”

Your mom wrapped her arms around his waist, patting his back and you huffed. Your mom didn’t even show this much love to you. “Hi sweetie,” she smiled at you as an afterthought and you smiled tight.

“I’m here to tutor Y/N in English.” He smiled and your mom grinned, patting his arm.

“Oh, that’s right, your mom told me you were probably going to be doing that. That’s so kind of you! Did you say thank you, Y/N?”

You huffed deep in your chest while plastering a smile across your face, “of course mom. Jungkook knows I’m grateful.”

“Yeah, Y/N is great,” he said enthusiastically, slinging his arm around your shoulders and you tried your best to hold your squeal of disgust. “Actually, she even told me she wanted to make me dinner some time, as a thank you.”

“Really?” Your mom smiled at you and you smiled tightly at Jungkook.

“Oh, yeah.” You huffed; chest tight with indignation. “Wow, yeah, well, I’m just so grateful after all.”

“I’m so glad you two are such good friends.” Your mom smiled, squeezing your elbow. “How about you stay for dinner, Jungkook? I could text your mom.”

“That would be great, actually. They’re going out on a date so it’s fend for yourself night.” He chuckled and your mom practically belly laughed. Mortifying.

“Anyway,” you called loudly, grabbing Jungkook’s forearm, “we’re gonna get started on that English assignment.” Jungkook waved at your mom as you pulled him up the stairs, closing the door behind you and dropping your backpack on your bed.

“Man, haven’t been in here in years.” Jungkook whistled, dropping his bag at his feet and scanning the walls of your room.

“You haven’t exactly been welcome.” You muttered and he looked over at you with a smirk, eyebrows wiggling.

“But I am now?”

“I thought you said you were going to be good!” You seethed and he held up his hands in defeat.

“Fair enough. Ok, grab your stuff and let’s get started. Where should we sit?”

You sighed, looking around your room. “Let’s just sit on the bed, my desk only has one chair and the carpet is uncomfortable.”

He nodded, grabbing his bag and bringing it with him, sitting cross legged on the end of your bed and digging through his backpack for everything he needed.

You took your place at the top of the bed, a pillow behind your back and one in your lap. “Here, hand me your latest essay so I can see what I’m working with.” Jungkook said, taking a notebook from the front pocket of his backpack and clicking his pen to life.

You pulled your essay from your assignments folder, handing it over gingerly. “I swear, if you make fun of me…”

“I promise I won’t. I really meant it when I said I take this gig seriously. It’s how I’m making extra cash right now.” He stared down at your work, pen twirling between his fingers as he read. Every once in a while, he’d hum and make a note in his book before continuing on.

You watched in apprehension as he flipped the page in silence. After finishing the essay, he made more notes in his book, chewing on the end of his pen in thought. “OK, so one big problem that I see right away is that your paragraphs are not well connected. You have certain ideas you want to connect, right, but instead of connecting them from paragraph to paragraph you’ve kind of left them disjointed. So, it’s like, in paragraph one you’ve talked about how Hamlet’s goal is to avenge his father’s death and the consequences of that choice and then in paragraph 2 you’re suddenly talking about Ophelia’s death, which doesn’t necessarily connect, but you could connect it with the idea of foreshadowing the royal families demise. Then in paragraph three you continue on talking about why you think Ophelia and Hamlet’s relationship is significant, but again, it doesn’t exactly have a connection to Hamlets attempt at revenge or even her death so it feels disconnected. You also have a habit of telling and not showing. You’ve gotta let the evidence speak for itself.”

“Wow…” you breathed, lips pursed in thought, “that is not at all what I thought you’d say. OK…so then what would you suggest?”

“Well,” he sighed, “if I’m being honest, I’d suggest a complete overhaul. This was just the first draft so there’s of course going to be lots of room for growth. You’ve got some pretty solid ideas; I just need to help you find a better way of connecting those ideas together.”

“So, it’s not a complete loss?” You asked, shoulders loosening slightly.

“Naw,” he shrugged, “we can definitely work with this. Your writing voice is pretty decent, you just need to figure out how to get the ideas you have in your head down on paper in a better way. It’s almost mathematical, like how you build an equation.”

You laughed, shaking your head, “this is nothing like math, Jungkook.”

He grinned, shrugging, “I don’t know, you have to formulate ideas, make a base and build on top of that. There are formulas to writing, you know? You just have to solve them.”

“Ok, ok. I’ll take your word for it. So, what would you say I do now?” You asked, biting your bottom lip nervously.

“Let’s work on making an outline, we can even spider diagram it if you need to.”

“Sure,” you shrugged, “if that works.”

By the time your mother called you down for dinner, Jungkook had helped you to map out all your ideas on a spider diagram and even start writing down your first few paragraphs on your laptop, helping you to see how you could tie your different ideas together to make your essay more cohesive.

“The spider diagram seems to really help you,” Jungkook said, trailing after you down the hallway towards the kitchen, “you should use it more often to sort out your ideas so you have a basis of how you want to start and where you want to go from there.”

Stepping into the kitchen, you grabbed a plate, loading it with the food your mother had left on the island for you to pick through. “Hey Jungkook.” Ella smiled from across the countertop, grabbing some fruit for her own plate. “My mom mentioned you were here.”

“Yeah,” he grinned, “just helping Y/N with an essay she’s writing.”

“Completely hopeless, right?” Ella joked and you scowled at her.

“Actually, she’s doing pretty well. She’s got some really good ideas, it’s just all about finding the best way to get them down on paper. She’s picking it up pretty quickly.”

“Thanks, Jungkook.” You murmured, looking up at him in surprise.

“Wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.” He grinned.

He made his way to the dining room, Ella hot on his tail with conversation he was a willing audience to and you watched him go in curiosity. Why was he being so…decent?

“How are your AP classes coming, Y/N?” You mom asked, taking a sip of her water as you pushed a piece of broccoli across your plate.

“They’re fine,” you shrugged, “pretty easy as long as I study the material.”

“And you came up with an idea for your science project?” She continued, taking a bite of her food.

“Yeah, I’ve got a general idea for what I want to do.” You said. Jungkook turned to look at you, eyebrows rising.

“You’ve already figured out your science project?” He asked, voice husky with surprise, “we don’t even have to start working on that until the spring.”

“Yeah,” you nodded, starring down at your plate in embarrassment. “I like to be prepared. I’m a bit of a nerd I guess.”

You could see Ella nodding out of the corner of your eye and just before you could extend your foot to kick her in the shin, Jungkook continued. “No way, I think that’s super cool. The science fair always takes so much time and preparation; it’s cool that you’re trying to get ahead of the game.”

You stared at Jungkook, eyebrows furrowed, but Ella distracted him with conversation about how prepared she was for all of her classes so you could only ruminate to yourself. What was Jungkook’s deal? Was he seriously trying to bury the hatched like he’d proclaimed? There was no way.

“What about you, Jungkook, honey?” Your mom said, turning her attention to him after asking Ella all about her school activities, “what have you been doing recently?”

“Mostly doing school work, but I’ve been doing some tutoring on the side to make money while I’m not in sports.”

“This is your last year playing soccer, do you think there are going to be scouts when you get into the season?” She inquired, finishing off her water and grabbing the pitcher to pour more.

“Yeah, maybe.” Jungkook nodded, “but we won’t know for sure until it’s closer to the season.”

“Well you never know, you could get a sports scholarship to a lot of different schools, pay your way through college!” Your mom smiled, offering the pitcher of water to your sister who shook her head, taking a bite of her food instead.

“That’s true.” He nodded.

“Where’s dad, by the way?” You asked, glancing back out the door to the kitchen.

“He’s just coming late from work; told us to eat without him.” Your mom remarked, finishing her plate and standing, “want me to take yours?” She asks, motioning to your plate and you nodded, allowing her to collect it from you and take it to the kitchen.

After the four of you finished dinner you cleaned the kitchen, putting away the food and dishes before Jungkook ran to grab his bag from your room and you showed him to the door. “You should try and finish the essay tonight so that you can show me tomorrow at school and I can give you some more pointers.” He said, slinging his bag over his shoulder and you held the door between the two of you as he put one foot over the threshold.

“By tonight?” You huffed, pouting down at the floor and he grinned.

“Better to be proactive, right?”

You shrugged, sighing, twisting the door knob in your hand. “Yeah, I guess.”

He nodded, backing out the door, “Cool, well, see you tomorrow.” He waved and turned to head towards his own place, just a few houses down the road.

You sighed, closing and locking the front door, staring up the staircase towards your room where you’d left your laptop with your essay on it. The last thing you wanted to do right now was go upstairs and work that essay.

With a huff, you grabbed hold of the railing, dragging yourself up the stairs and into your room. The paper wasn’t going to write itself and you needed to do it now while Jungkook’s advice was fresh in your head.

By the time you were finished, everyone else had already gone to bed so you were shuffling quietly into the bathroom to go brush your teeth. You had about 6 hours to sleep and you intended to make the most of it.

                                                  ******

You dreamt of Jungkook dressed as Hamlet. Your mood was especially crabby because of it, but you managed to remember to print out your second draft for him to read so that was something positive, at least.

“You ready to go?” Your mom asked, peeking her head into your room as you finished packing your backpack.

You nodded, throwing your bag over your shoulder and following her down the stairs. Ella was already sat in the back of the car, which surprised you, but you figured your mother must have insisted since she was such a shotgun hog all the time.

Sliding into the passenger seat, you dropped your bag by your feet, fastening your seatbelt and leaning your head back against the rest with eyes closed. All you could picture was Jungkook in a stupidly good looking houppelande and puffy shorts, but he was wearing a hat with a feather sticking from the top and drooping down the back of his head and somehow that made you feel so much better about the whole thing.  

The ride was mostly silent. You could hear the music from Ella’s earphones, but there was no conversation and it gave you a few minutes to let the irritation from your dream wear off before you arrived at school. The last thing you wanted to do was take your frustrations out on your innocent friends.

“Have a good day at school!” Your mother called as the two of you stepped from the car and you waved. “I’ll be in the pick-up line at the end of the day, Ella.”

Jungkook was waiting at one of the outdoor tables when you and Ella made your way towards the front entrance and he waved you over. Ella continued on towards her friends and you grit your teeth, turning to make you way towards him as he pulled the notebook and pen from his backpack once again.

“Morning!” He smiled as you sat across from him. The sun was already blinding and you had to squint to see him from where you were sitting. You readjusted your shorts; the bench a little too cool on your skin and nodded in greeting towards him. “Did you manage to finish your essay?”

“Yeah.” You murmured, pulling it from your backpack and handing it across the table to him.

He grabbed it from your hand, reading through while clicking the tip of his pen absentmindedly. After what felt like forever of you shifting awkwardly in your seat and looking around the courtyard at all of the other students beginning to make their way into the building, he finally cleared his throat, looking up at you.

“This is much better. There’s still room for improvement, but for a second draft I’m pretty happy with what you’ve done. I’m gonna make some notes and we can go over them after school.” He said, handing you back your essay and standing to pack his own things.

“I can’t today, I’m actually meeting up with Lucas after school.” You said, sticking your essay back in your homework folder and sliding that back in your bag.

“Oh,” he faltered, looking down at you, eyebrows wrinkling in the center. “Ok…well, maybe after you guys are done hanging out?”

“I don’t know when that will be.”

Jungkook pursed his lips, tugging his backpack over his shoulders. “Here, let me see your phone really quick.”

“Why?” You asked, handing it to him anyway.

After messing with your phone for about 30 seconds he handed it back to you, one recent outgoing call on the screen. “Just text me when you’re done and I’ll come over.”

With that, he walked towards the school where you could see Rachel waiting, arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently. “Sucks to be him.” You mumbled, before packing up your own stuff and heading to your first class.

                                                     *****

Thank you so much for waiting patiently for me to get this out! Now that my life has settled the next few chapters should come out much sooner than 6 months. My goodness, I’m so sorry you had to wait so long! I’m going to try and get myself back into a once a month posting schedule. Please be patient with me while I figure this out and please let me know what you think of this chapter! Your feedback means so much. 

Chapter 3

Chapter 5

Copyright © 2018  by taeken-my-heart (Nora.) All rights reserved.