#i wanna shove them in a blender

[jankydem]

one thing that I’ve noticed about these two particular characters is that majority of the fandom rather agree that they’re trans masc losers or trans fem losers ,,

I love losers who try to be cool and chill to hide the fact that they’re awkward little shits with no friends ,, who also try to impress a female in the cast who is an obvious lesbian (canon or not). berdly looks so weird i havent drawn him in like a year. i love berdly. berdly and kazuichi would literally be besties .. Weh

[sukalaap]

Here's some Smiling Shenanigans for your viewing pleasure! 

The brainrot is living in my head rent free pls send help-

(The Charlie/Allan doodle is reffed from this btw)

[aidenwaites]

The copy I bought of ltroi arrived !!

[luveline]

I can definitely see a steddie x reader where reader is just enjoying their banter bc she thinks they’re being adorable and Steve is annoyed and Eddie is just being cheeky

Reader would definitely be just smitten about it, in all honesty-

“You’re not doing it right, Steve.” 

“Am too.” 

“You are not, babe.” 

Eddie sounds so genuine, like he truly cares that Steve’s not doing it right, but you can tell he’s messing with him. It’s in his smile. He sees you noticing him and puts a finger over his lips. 

“You owe me,” you mouth. 

“What did I do wrong?” Steve asks, agitated already. 

“You have to press the plastic down,” Eddie says, stepping behind Steve where your boyfriend tries to grate a head of broccoli using the food processor. “This bit. Babe–”

“Stop with the babe, you’re patronising me.” 

“That is not true.” Eddie takes him by the hip, reaching around him to shove the hand guard down onto Steve’s broccoli. 

“You’re seriously patronising me.” 

Eddie talks close to Steve’s ear. “Now why would I do that, Steve?” 

Steve smiles but pushes him away. “Get off of me, I can do it. Go irritate Y/N.” 

“I’m just trying to help,” Eddie says. 

“You’re not, you’re trying to make me mad.” 

“Is it working?” 

Eddie dives away from his shove and ends up hanging on you instead, arms slotting over your shoulders, warm and relaxed as he turns his flirting to you. “What’s the damage?” 

“He figured you out pretty quickly. No charge this time.” 

“How generous.” He sounds as warm as he feels, leaning in to draw a line on your cheek with his nose. “Think he’ll take the bait again?” 

“Aw, don’t,” you laugh, though really you want him to. Steve is a good looking guy and it’s worse when he’s playing mad, he gets loud and his brows draw together, darkening the honeyed brown of his eyes to a more shadowy colour that you adore. “He’s just trying to make dinner for us. He’s so nice.” 

“I’ll make it up to him,” he promises, kissing your cheek. 

Eddie once again approaches Steve, this time with a softer disposition, like he might be giving him a kiss. Steve lets Eddie touch his arm, lets Eddie wraps his fingers around his wrist and press a cheek to the top of his shoulder. 

“Don’t try and say sorry now,” Steve warns. Then, after a few seconds, he wraps an arm behind Eddie's shoulder to rub his arm roughly. It’s fond and annoyed at once. 

“I’m just trying to help.” 

“I know how to use the blender.” 

They sound in love. It makes you laugh, one because it’s nice to see, you love them too, and two because Eddie’s messing him around again. 

Steve looks back at you suspiciously. 

“I know you know how to use it, I’m just trying to help,” Eddie says. 

“Are you?” 

“Sometimes you get kind of stubborn.” He encourages Steve’s face back to his with a kind hand. Steve sticks his tongue in his cheek as Eddie tucks a lock of stray hair behind his ear. “You know, on account of you being extremely stubborn,” Eddie whispers. 

Steve rolls his eyes and shrugs away from him. “I’m used to being right. You know, on account of you being an idiot.” 

“Don’t act like that.” 

Steve lets Eddie link their pinky fingers together, even as they continue to argue about the blender. Feeling a little left out, you slide off of your barstool at the island and sidle up on Steve’s other side. 

“What are you doing?” you ask. “Broccoli and cheese?” 

“Uh-huh. Don’t know why I bother,” Steve side eyes Eddie, the one out of the three of you who loves broccoli and cheese soup more than breathing. “He’s making it more difficult than it’s worth.” 

“It’s gonna be done at bed time if you keep taking so long.” 

“Don’t start on me too.,” Steve says, though he leans in for a kiss soon after. 

Eddie tries to high five you behind his shoulders. You grab his hand and wrap it around Steve’s shoulders, who then tries to sweep you both in for a hug, assuming an Eddie style apology, and regardless of all the teasing he’s endured. 

“I don’t wanna cook anymore,” Steve mumbles. 

Eddie feels sorry, then, and tries to kiss his neck. 

You pinch him. “Let’s just order takeout.” 

[heartfullofleeches]

Masochist Bully Yan and Creepy, low-key pervy Reader who can't decide if they want to kiss and fuck or gut and kill him-

Erin Hart is the fucking worse. Can't have a thought to yourself when he's around, and with rumors of him liking you your life has crumbled from nightmare to pure hell. That bastard having a crush you of all people? - as if. Fucker probably doesn't even have a heart to begin with. You should just rip that wasted clump of tissue out his chest. It'd find better use in a blender. God, you hate him. You just want to ambush him in the locker room after one of his practices. Smash his head into the same locker he keeps full of all the shit he's stolen from you and kiss his pathetic ass once he's down to finally know the taste of his lips - silencing the curiosity that's been bugging you for weeks.

...wait-

Creepy Loser Reader who's loathed by nearly everyone and hates them all just the same - most notably the obsessive bully who refuses to even give them air to breath. Not only is he an asshole, but he's a pretty one too - the worst kind. When he's berating them for talking to a classmate without his permission it's a mental battle not to shove their tongue down his throat or pull out his teeth. He'd be dead sooner if his ass didn't look so good in shorts.

Like many troubled people, Creep Reader took to writing out their frustrations online. They used to keep notebooks, but Erin stole the majority and forced them to read one of their fantasies aloud. They tried to write at home, but the slippery bastard managed to steal those too. They write entire essays about how much they hate Erin and what they'd do to him if left alone with him for one hour. They never bothered to private their accounts since it's all just the ramblings of some nobody that no one will ever find.

"Erin's such a whore. It's the third day in a row he's had his hair up. Probably moans like the slut he is if you pull it. I wanna wrap my hands in his ponytail and rip out his throat with my teeth. I hate when he shows skin. It makes me want to leave him covered in bruises. Whore. Slut. Why won't you get out of my fucking head."

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit. How the fuck did he get your phone - how does he know the password? You're dead. So fucking dead. He's going to kill you and dump your body in some lake and no one will care because-

"Do it."

"do....what?"

Erin huffs. Hard to too much with every little move adding friction to the erection straining his jeans. He removes the hair tie from his wrist, sweeping his hair back and pulling it through - glare keeping you pinned to the floor. Your eyes fall down to his neck, dark ring of bruises encircling his throat. It's surely just a coincidence, but you lost a belt not too long ago almost the exact width of the mark.

"Want to hurt me so bad? Fucking do it. Been waiting for you to snap and punch my lights out, but you have more restraint than I thought. It's cute. You're cute, but you didn't hear that from me. Hit me, Bitch. Make it count cause you're never getting rid of me."

[stevebckley]

Steve finds out early on in his teenage partying years that tequila and him don’t mix well. It leads to terrible decisions and waking up in someone else’s bed.

But he doesn’t wanna be a party pooper when Eddie shows up for the Party’s pool day with all the stuff for margaritas and a grin on his face. He says that someone needs to put Steve’s fancy blender to use anyhow and he makes the best strawberry margaritas ever so Steve relents easily, resigning himself to try just sipping at the same one all afternoon.

He can’t stick to that though.

The first sip is like heaven. Cold and sweet on his tongue with just a hint of the sheer amount of tequila that must be in it. Eddie literally cackles at the little moan that slips out of him at the taste.

‘Told you, Harrington! I know what I’m about!’

The afternoon slips on, Robin and Nancy stopping after two so that they can drive all the kids home but Eddie just keeps filling up Steve’s cup before he can even protest. He’s floating a bit by the end of the day, not enough to be drunk but enough that he can’t stop himself from staring at Eddie.

Eddie has been in and out of the pool all day, water making his swim shorts cling to every single muscle underneath them. Steve can’t help but giggle at the sheer lack on ass on the guy but when he turns to face Steve, he has to actively try to keep his jaw shut.

He can see a perfect outline of Eddie’s dick. Even soft it looks big enough to choke on and Steve has to drag one of the towels over his lap quickly lest other people see how hard he got in the last thirty seconds. Luckily the kids are packing up now, calling their goodbyes.

Letting Nancy and Robin lead them out the door until it’s just him and Eddie left. Eddie is watching him curiously, and the attentions makes Steve flush from his cheeks all the way down his chest. ‘You doin okay, Stevie? You look a little warm’ Eddie sounds like he’s teasing, but there’s an edge to it that does not help Steve’s situation. Eddie practically glides forward toward where Steve is sitting on the lounge chair. Steve has to hold back the whine in his throat when Eddie leans over him, hands braced on either side of the chair.

‘Cat got your tongue, sweetheart?’ Eddie’s got a sharp grin on his face, close enough that Steve can see the pink staining his tongue from the drinks and he can’t hold himself back any longer. He drops his death grip on the towel so he can tangle his hands in Eddie’s hair, yanking him down into a searing kiss.

Eddie loses his grip on the chair, practically toppling into Steve’s lap, noses smushing together as they both try to keep from disconnecting their kiss Steve uses one hand to grab Eddie by the waist as he falls, using the momentum to pull him into his lap. Even as tipsy as Steve feels, it’s delightfully easy to move Eddie where he wants him. He can’t help himself when he rolls his hips up to meet Eddie’s, the wetness of their shorts making it slightly uncomfortable but Steve doesn’t give a shit right now.

He’s finally getting what he’s been wanting and Eddie seems just as into it. Eddie rocks downward in a slow, steady grind of his hips, his dick hard and hot where it presses against Steve’s. He shudders under the deliberate movements, praying to whoever’s listening that he can get Eddie to fuck him just like that.

For now though he desperately needs to get his mouth on Eddie, pulling away from the kiss and taking in a shaky breath. ‘Inside.’ He whines into Eddie’s ear, gently taking the lobe in between his teeth so he can bite down.

Eddie scrabbles off his lap like a cartoon cat, making Steve giggle at the sight before a thought pops into his head He stands, steadying himself for a moment before crouching slightly, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s waist and throwing him over his shoulder in a fireman carry.

Eddie fucking moans, using his position to shove his hands down the back of Steve’s shorts to grab at his ass. ‘This should not be so fucking hot what the fuck’ Eddie mumbles, half to himself as Steve carry’s him to the living room and tosses him on the couch.

He doesn’t miss a beat before dropping to his knees in front of Eddie, tucking eager fingers into his waistband and dragging them down his legs. When Eddie’s dick is finally exposed, Steve feels all the blood in his body rush south, a whimper falling from his open mouth at the sight.

It’s as big as it felt, long and thick nestled into a pretty thatch of curls at the base. There’s a bead of precome gathered at the tip that he can’t stop himself from leaning down and lapping up. Eddie hisses at the feeling, hands fisting into the cushions under him.

Steve can’t have that, gently peeling Eddies hands open and guiding them to his hair. Eddies mouth is slightly open, a look of awe over his features as Steve leans forward to run his tongue from base to tip before sealing his lips over the head. He doesn’t care that he’s never done this before.

The only think he can think about is making Eddie feel good, and he gotten blowjobs before so how hard it can be? He steadies himself, wrapping a hand around Eddie before taking a few more inches into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks as best as he can.

Eddies fingers tighten in his hair, not pushing but just grounding himself. Steve pulls off with a pop, nuzzling his nose into the downy hair smattered across Eddie’s stomach. ‘Want you to use my mouth. Had dreams about you fucking my face.’ The look on Eddies face is enough to make Steve grind the heel of his hand into his own cock, nearly crying at the minor relief it brings.

He lets Eddie guide him back, sinking his mouth down as far as it can go before letting his jaw fall lax, tongue sliding forward to cushion over his teeth and lower lip

He squirms when Eddie’s hips roll up carefully, his brain already going delightfully fuzzy from the solid weight of hands in his hair and the ache developing in his jaw. ‘Oh baby you’re already cockdrunk aren’t you? This what you needed? Someone to take you down and apart?’ Eddie coos at him, movements growing more bold as he pushes a little further with every thrust.

The condescension makes Steve squirm and whine, vibrations in his throat dragging a moan out of Eddie. Steve loses the thread after that, his world narrowing to just Eddie and the way he’s making him feel.

Every thrust nudges at the back of Steve’s throat, the occasional too hard thrust making him gag and drool around Eddies length. He feels proud of himself when Eddie speeds up, rhythm faltering as he gets closer to the edge. It only takes a few more thrusts and a few moments of hard suction before Eddie is spilling down his throat with a shout.

Steve does his best to swallow it all, only missing a bit that drips down his chin. He feels high now, the tequila starting to wear off a bit. When Eddie pulls back, he’s just got a dopey grin on his face, eyes practically crossing in pleasure.

Eddie drags him up from the floor into his lap, smashing their lips together before reaching between them to shove his hand into Steve’s pants. He stills quickly and Steve’s face heats up as he realizes what he found.

‘I uh, I came when you did.’ His face burns with shame but Eddie looks like he could go again right then and there, dragging Steve into another heavy kiss. When he pulls back, he’s met with Eddie laughing. ‘Well I guess Nancy was right. Tequila really does make you outrageously horny!’

He’s still laughing when Steve registers what he said. ‘

Wait, what the fu-?’

[thestarrysparrow]

Me, to my bestie: I js wanna put em in a blender :>

My bestie: what? Me, aggressively shoving lid on: I JS WANNA PUT EM IN A BLENDER

Guys! I put em in a blender :> Edit: Guys I ACTUALLY put them in the blender look

The lids on! They're in there! Ranchers go *AGGRESSIVE BLENDER NOISES*

[kiankiwi]

"Dance Party"

A cg!jacob elordi x little!reader fic

Summary: You spend the morning with your daddy and he makes you laugh, a lot.

Jacob LOVED getting you up in the morning. Especially when you're little. He loved how sleepy and warm and cuddly you are in the morning. He woke up that morning and jumped out of bed when he heard you calling for him over the baby monitor. He ran to the nursery, eager to get an early morning cuddle.

He found you standing in your crib, holding onto the rails with a pacifier bobbing quickly between your lips. "Hi sweetheart! Hello, little one!" You bounced a bit, elated to see your favorite person in the world and giggled. You also loved when he talked to you in the morning. Mainly because his perfectly delicious Australian accent came out pretty thick when he was still tired. "Here, can daddy have that, you know it's only for night night time!" Jacob smiled as he grabbed onto the handle of the pacifier and pulled it from your mouth, making a popping sound with his lips to make you laugh. "That's better munchkin!" He swiftly picked you up and hugged you close, rubbing your back as you snuffled into his neck, still a bit sleepy. "Oh good morning sweetheart!" He pulled back to look at your face, "Did you sleep good, have nice dreams?" You nodded, hugging tightly onto his neck. "Yeah? Should we go get you some brekkie?" You nodded like a bobblehead. "Nanas!" You yelled, sticking your tongue out. Jacob couldn't help but laugh. "You want 'nana's? Should we do a big fruit bowl?" You nodded.

"One fruit bowl for one little munchkin!" Jacob said theatrically as he gave you your bowl of cut up strawberries, blueberries, grapes, oranges and of course bananas. "Thank you!" You said before you dug in, eating with your fingers.

Jacob smiled and let you eat, grabbing the left over fruit to make himself a fruit smoothie. He grabbed all the leftovers and poured them all into the blender, popping the cap on. He prepared to push the buttons but looked over to you who was still eating. "Heads up baby, loud noise." He said, warning you so you wouldn't get scared. He waited till you plugged your ears before he pressed the start button to make his smoothie.

When you and Jacob were done with your breakfast, he laughed at how messy you are. "You are a mess, bub! Should we go get ready for the day?" You nodded, shoving your fingers in your mouth. Jacob brought you upstairs and at the end of the hallway, he turned to you and asked, "Should we run? Should daddy run?" Jacob jogged down the hallway to the nursery, bouncing you all the way, making you erupt into a fit of giggles. "Was that fun?" He asked, bringing you over to the closet and looking through it.

Picking your pale pink onesie with the strawberries on it, he laid you down on the changing table, pulling faces at you as he undressed you, peppering kisses all over your face and belly. You erupted into giggles, pushing your hands at him as the laughter stole your breath. "Daddy! Daddy stop it! Stop it!" You pushed him off and he zipped up your onesie. "Okay okay, I'll stop. What shall we do today baby? Should we play, watch movies or just laze around a bit?"

"Go outside?" You asked, watching his hands as they snapped the buttons on your onesie. "Um, I think it's a bit too cold to go outside today bubby," You pouted up at him, not because you wanted to make him feel guilty but because you were genuinely sad you couldn't play on your playset that was currently covered in snow. "Wanna go on my swiiiiiide!" You whined a bit. "I know baby but it's all wet from the snow, right now! Daddy's so sorry. But we can definitely have some fun today inside where it's warm!"

You whined a little, pouting a little longer as Jacob picked you up and you snuggled into his shoulder once again as he brought you back downstairs. "I know baby, daddy hates the snow too."

Now downstairs, Jacob could sense you didn't want to be put down just yet so he soaked up your snuggles. You pointed outside to your playset. "Where my Side go??" You asked, pointing outside. "It's covered in snow baby, you can't even see it!" You pouted looking longingly out the glass door at your covered play set.

Jacob hated seeing you sad, he had to think quickly to put a smile back on your face. He spun around and pointed to the Alexa device. "Hey baby, should we dance? You wanna dance with daddy?" You didn't say anything, still pouting about the snow outside.

Jacob marched you over to the device and bounced you as he loudly declared "Alexa Play Baby Shark!" His accent made the word shark sound like "shock". Hearing his accent pop out, you giggled, wiggling. Your wiggling was your little way of dancing. "Yeah, get it, bub! Go go go! Baby Shark do do do do!" You laugh as Jacob dangled you from his arms and spun you around making you laugh and scream. "Mommy shark do do do do!" Jacob yelled, as you clung to him, laughing your head off.

You loved today because it was just a day with your guy.

*****

MY FIRST JACOB ELORDI FIC!!!

I hope you like it!

@elvisthesillygoose @mooodyblue

[littencloud9]

anyway. that was so fucking good so as usual have my post watch thoughts:

vanitas - i am putting him in a fucking blender and then giving him a big hug. give this guy a BREAK. there is something so wrong with him and i love it. him and noé are so incredibly well-done. pure opposites and they clash but it works. him and mikhail devastated me. he is so insanely kind and you dont expect it bc he keeps shoving people away?? and hes so snarky but hes doing everything to save others??? sacrificing his body to countless experiments as a child so that other children wouldnt suffer the same, saving the vampires with the book even as it chips away at the humanity he struggles to keep, being a DOCTOR. im gonna throw something

noé - i’m in love with him. that’s it. jk but he is AMAZING and his love for domi makes me wanna cry and also him and murr are so funny and when he said he’ll never set vanitas free, something in me revived. i love that his first instinct is always to protect, whether it’s by his own body or by inflicting violence. he is just so sweet and has a big big heart and i think im gonna go cry actually

jeanne - JEANNE!!! I LOVE HER SO MUCH. her arc with chloé was WONDERFUL and she’s the cutest and coolest ever. im putting her in my pocket and patting her adoringly. she’s so fiercely loyal to her duty but when it comes to people she cares about she struggles because her heart is so big and i am JUST. I LOVE JEANNE

dominique - I ALSO LOVE DOMI. HOLY SHIT shes probably my favourite as of now. i didnt have much of an impression of her in s1 (tho she was so cool) but s2 hit me like a truck. i love that we got her pov of the whole thing with louis! doomed siblings haha my weakness. the scene of her holding back her younger self and louis just watching WAS SO INCREDIBLE. domi looking into her most vulnerable self and being forced to confront her past MMMM. her as a child chopping her hair off after louis died like WOW that murdered me. her saying she hates herself but fighting to stay alive anyway. AND HER AND THE SICK ASS ICE POWERS. AND JEANNE SAYING SHES BEAUTIFUL. and her with the line about protecting others or something. BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY DOMI IS A KNIGHT! AHHHH GOD I LOVE HER

mikhail - this kid both freaks me out and makes me miserable. as a child screaming help me big brother while he was being dragged away, and then when the book was eating him alive and he was screaming at vanitas to help him again. that killed me. and him doing everything because he wants to bring back their family. being stuck in the past and begging for vanitas to return with him IM GONNA THROW UP

chloé and jean-jacques - they aren’t my favourites but their arc was wonderful!! oh the tragedy of being childhood best friends in this show. i love that they found each other when it was needed. i love that they did everything to protect each other. i love that they saved each other. i love that both their true names have something to do with flowers, the same as the place where they first met (unless i’m remembering things wrong do not come at me it’s been a While skfhekfb)

vanoé thoughts - because vanoé is what i came for. i was Not disappointed. thejr dynamic is so silly and fun but also devastating. their designs being parallels, being Meant To Be, is great. vanitas having to hypnotise himself to kill noé, yet being unable to do it even with a KNIFE TO HIS THROAT. and noé also holding back, despite knowing that he is completely capable of killing vanitas too. and the rain and everything and ohhhh my god i will die. and vanitas leaning on noé in s1 and noé leaning on vanitas in s2 HECK YEAH. AND THE SUN RISE IN S1 WHEN NOÉ PROMISED TO STAY BY VANITAS’ SIDE. AND THE SUN RISE IN S2 WHEN THEY MADE UP. AND VANITAS TOOK NOÉ’S HAND! AND ACCEPTED HIM INTO HIS LIFE! after hiding everything about himself from noé, and now letting him see just a piece of him. and them arguing like an old married couple but also instinctively protecting each other. these damn gays

domijeanne - when do they kiss. like for Real. man i love that they hold such high admiration for each other and they support each other so much. and domi who harbours so much self-hatred and compares herself with jeanne, but jeanne just sees her as strong and beautiful and incredible. i love that they’re genuinely friends and always go to each other and ALSO LETS NOT FORGET THE DANCING SCENE! and also jeanne the hellfire witch and domi with the ice powers LIKE! INCREDIBLE SHOW STOPPING. pretty please i need them to kiss

overall - love the op and ed so much. love the colours and vibrancy and how during the last fight it was all grey and dull and ugh. studio bones KNOWS how to do symbolism with these damn colours. incredible and devastating writing and im definitely gonna go read the manga. drop dead gorgeous art style like all of these characters are BEAUTIFUL. a perfect mix of silly and pure horror and genuine love (both platonic and romantic and maybe some of these characters are trauma bonded but they come together anyway and that is just great) and tragedy. i love vnc. the bsd-mtp-vnc pipeline so real. they are all incredible shows but i think vnc has my favourite storyline out of them all so far. thanks if u read til here LMAO 🫶🫡

[whateveryouiguess]

in the wee, small hours of the morning.

Miguel O’ Hara x Fem Reader

Summary: Miguel invites his girl to his early morning run. you can guess how that worked out for him.

Warnings: none! fluffy and fun, im not fluent in spanish but i’m getting there, native speakers u r 100% invited to critique me !! lmk what u think :)

if the sun wasn’t up, then neither was she.

few things got in between the girl and her beauty sleep. the grinding cacophony of the blender as miguel made his pre workout smoothie wasn’t enough to shake her from her sleep, but the absence of his warmth beside her in bed did cause her to stir. wiping the sleep from her eyes, her blurry vision took in the looming shadow of his broad shoulders, casted by the lamp on the nightstand beside her. the sight of his muscular back was enough to keep her awake as she sat up in bed, watching him get changed into his favorite dry fit high neck shirt.

“were you gonna say good morning?” his still raspy voice cut the cozy silence between them. “or just sit and stare at me, like a pervert?” he turns to face her with a half smile as he pulls his sweatpants on, hands on his hips.

she smiles and leans forward in the bed. “i was waiting for you to finish, actually. i didn’t wanna interrupt.”

“is that so?” he quirks an eyebrow, making his way towards the bed. she stretches her arms out and wraps them around his trim waist as he leans in for a kiss.

“mhmm.” she pulls him against her and hugs around his middle as he places kisses on her hairline. “you get dressed in a very particular way, it’s a process that can’t be disturbed. an art, some might even say.”

“who?” he laughs gently and sits beside her in the bed, pulling on his compression socks. he wraps a heavy arm around her waist and she lets her hands fall on the shoulders she’d just been admiring. his head seeks the crook of her neck like his brain is on cruise control and his lips freckle all their favorite spots, her fingers carding through his hair. “come with me.” he suggests before stamping a kiss below her ear, pulling away when she snorts out a laugh.

“you’re kidding.” a kiss on her cheek, the corner of her lips.

“nope.” he chimes.

“where, on your five am run?” she brushes a loose curl behind his ear, cocking an eyebrow with a smile. “now, you and i both know that would not end well.” he rolls his eyes and kisses her again, sitting up.

“well, you said you wanted to work out more! i was just putting it out there.” he gestures with a dramatic hand as he defends himself. she can’t help but laugh in response, to the chagrin of a very unamused miguel.

“yes, i do,” she kisses him back, only teasing him a little bit. “but inducing cardiac arrest at the asscrack of dawn isn’t exactly my idea of working out.” he wants to tuck his tail and pretend to be upset, but he can’t help but snicker at her dramatics. accepting defeat, he returns to the task of kissing, moving his arm from her waist to hold her hand and kiss down her arm.

“dios mío, querida.” he laughs out, warm breath trailing down the skin of her bicep, tickling the crook of her elbow. “cómo se dice hoity-toity?”

“oh, shut up!” she barks out a laugh and tickles at his armpit, coaxing him off of her. she gives him a gentle push as he stands. “you little shit.”

he returns the shove with a very gentle push against her shoulder, to which she dramatically flops over in the bed, folding herself in half at the waist and remaining still, poking out her tongue to seal the deal. with another dramatic eye-roll, he leans down to brush the strewn about hairs out of her eyes and kiss her on the cheek. she doesn’t kiss back, fully committed to the bit. “be back soon.” he slips his tennis shoes on and slides his cellphone into the pocket of his nike sweatpants, being sure to throw a blanket over the very dramatic, very awake, angel in his bed. “i’ll be sure to have LOTS of fun without you!” she snorts at that but stays still, only humming in reply. he stops himself at the door to watch her readjust her position, curling the bedsheets up over her neck and smelling them unashamedly, smiling at the scent of him.

maybe she didn’t wanna run with him today, but she would certainly be running circles in his mind as soon as he walked out the door.

.

i liked writing this one 🤭

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

Sorry for being dumb, I'm literally terrible when it comes to social intelligence, so could you explain what is painful so I can avoid asking it?

Anon, you are very kind for reaching out, but I need you to understand that you are absolutely not the person I was targeting with that throw-away tag.

This? This is not for you.

You wanna know why?

Because you have one of these:

and also one of these

What I am referring you is not literally a painful topic.

I am referring to sentence soup the likes of which is incomprehensible by anyone except the person who wrote it.

I am referring to run-on sentences so long they stretch into a new topic of conversation without a single comma or a period in sight before being guillotined by a character limit

And look. This is not a callout. I understand that this isn't English class - this is tumblr. I don't care if you use the right 'your' vs 'you're'. It's casual. I don't care if you capitalize stuff. Y'all'd've been perfectly fine if you just kept it short and sweet as long as I understand it.

But therein lies the problem.

As long as I understand it.

Writing messages on the internet has a goal.

That goal is to communicate an idea to another person. To establish a peer-to-peer connection. To make yourself heard.

And although I respect you guys sticking it to the man and refusing to capitalize, and using casual speech and inventing fun new words like 'yeet'

You need to realize

that if you yeet your basic ass punctuation

you will also yeet

my ability to understand you

If the message I receive looks like this

hey just wanted to ask if you i thought maybe could u draw me pony big one could be playing together with a different one could you do it please i rly like your art would be paid or no its ok if no want to show u my stuff as well have a lot of art u could maybe like anyway the pony is blue if u still want

Then halfway through this mess I had to stop, start over, and re-read everything while muttering swear-words to myself.

Because this is not a message

This is just you shoving 3-5 sentences into a blender and throwing them at my head and giving ME the task of untangling it.

USE. PERIODS. BETWEEN SENTENCES. PLEASE.

If your teachers did not explain to you how to do this - I apologize. But periods are a pretty ubiquitous part most languages. This is not an EFL or ESL issue. This a big ole' F grade on the Theory of Mind Test.

I cannot read YOUR mind. We are not connected through an ethernet cable. You need to make an effort to make your ideas CLEAR. That means breaking up your separate sentences and using a question mark once in a blue moon.

THAT is what I mean when I say some of y'alls messages pain me.

I still love you all. I just need you to come in after class, because we need to do some one-on-one tutoring.

[inthismomentyouwereloved]

i literally want to chew on him. i want to toss him against the wall and down the stairs. i wanna shove them in the blender. that one paint mixer. i need them to explode they make me ill

[pyxy-styx]

Y'all, my partner fucking ran off in the middle of a storm to take a picture for me while my town looked all creepy.

I wanna shove them in a blender, they're fucking adorable

[chiarrara]

Dude I’m sorry if I’m sending you a little too many asks but I am honestly just so thrilled to finally have someone to talk to about the two things I am deranged about

Anyways,

Listen Megumi definetly listens to Joy Division seeing how much of a sad guy he is but

This makes me wanna shove my head into a blender. You think Gojo got flashbacks when Megumi listened to this

Here purely because of the line “she tied you to a kitchen chair, she broke your throat and she cut your hair, and from your lips she drew a hallelujah”

Do I need to say anything. (Also Gojo definetly listens to Jeff Buckley)

I needed them to be happy for a moment either this or

this one

Hiiiii!!!! I'm so excited to dig back into this. I'm sitting in my car at the lake and I'm about to blast each and every song you sent me over my car radio while I type :):):):):) I'm so excited. Let's go:

(1980s SatoSugu AU + 1990s Megumi AU Playlists)

1. Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division

Okay, you are so correct about Megumi listening to Joy Division. I love the idea of him connecting so deeply to this song as a teenager with no actual life experience to go along with it meanwhile Gojo is just *thousand yard stare*

100% a song he would put on his sad boy mixtapes

2. Hallelujah - Leonard Cohen

Omg I can't believe this actually came out in 1984. Okay I feel like Geto bought this tape when it came out, and played it for Gojo (who wasn't really into it), but Geto just quietly really connected with this song as like a representation of how he feels about Gojo. it just fits so well honestly...

3. Lover You Should Have Come Over - Jeff Buckley

Okay, I literally heard this song for the first time on a tumblr post earlier this year and it changed my life.

So, this is literally the next song on the album after his Hallelujah cover. It came out in 1994 (but Jeff Buckley feels too mature for Megumi, and I agree, Gojo listens to Jeff Buckley). So my theory is, this album comes out, Gojo buys it, hears the Hallelujah cover and finally gets it the way Geto did in 1984. Then this song hits right after and he just has an out of body experience.

Not sure what the relationship timeline is in this AU....wonder if Geto would be there in 1994 being like, I told you so...

4. Sunny - Boney M. / Hands Up - Ottawan

I love them being happy :) I'm going with Sunny, just because Hands Up didn't really make it out of Europe until the 90s apparently. But both are good, such bops

I'm thinking Geto is more of the audiophile and Gojo is more casual Top 40. So this is a song Gojo would love, but Geto is the one who starts playing it (either on a tape, or on one of those multi-decade or genre stations that Gojo wouldn't turn to) since it's a little older.

5. In My Secret Life - Leonard Cohen

Great song! Very satosugu coded. But I absolutely refuse to allow them to still be this sad in 2001! I can't bear it

--

Lol tysm this is so much fun. Playlists below, they are still VERY much WIPs:

[braveclementine]

Back in Malibu

Warnings: None

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own my OC Elizabeth Lightwood. I do not condone any copying of this.

"Wake up, daddy's home." Tony snapped his fingers to bring the computers and lights back to life. He'd gotten back to Malibu in under eight hours. Pumpkin was upstairs, fast asleep so he was taking the advantage to come down into his lab and get to work. It seemed his little soulmate rabbit was jetlagged.

"Welcome home, sir." Jarvis' voice responded through the coms. "Congratulations on the opening ceremonies. They were such a success as was your senate hearing. And may I say how refreshing it is to finally see you in a video with your clothing on, sir?"

Tony laughed until he heard the splashing sounds as the green smoothie was thrown up on the wall instead of into the blender. "You!" The robot knocked the blender completely over.

"I swear to God I'll dismantle you, I'll switch your motherboard and turn you into a wine rack. How many ounces a day of this gargle am I supposed to drink?"

"We are up to 80 ounces a day to counteract the symptoms, sir." He downed the nasty stuff easily.

"Check Palladium levels."

"Blood toxicity, 24%" Jarvis informed him. "It appears that the continued use of the Iron Man suit is accelerating your condition. Another core has been depleted."

Tony sighed as he reached up to remove the new arc reactor from his chest. The palladium levels were getting to high and soon he would be able to counteract them all. Eventually, it would completely poison his system and he'd die. And he'd end up leaving Pumpkin all alone.

He closed his eyes, frustrated. There had to be something he could do.

"God they're running out quick." He commented, taking the fried chip out of the arc reactor.

"I have run simulations on every known element and none can serve as a viable replacement for the pallidum core." Jarvis informed him as Tony opened up the box of palladium chips to replace it. "You are running out of both time and options."

Tony huffed as he shoved the arc reactor back into the container he'd made for it. He kept his shirt up, watching the dark lines surrounding his chest.

"Unfortunately, the device that's keeping you alive, is also killing you. Mrs. Hogan is approaching. I recommend that you inform her of-"

"Mute." He dropped his shirt quickly as he watched Pepper come over to the lab and punch in the code without looking up.

He turned his screens back to his cars quickly and finished off the last of his nasty drink. "Un uh." He said.

"Is this a joke?" She asked. "What are you thinking?"

"What?"

"What are you thinking?!"

"Hey! I'm thinking I'm busy and you're angry about something. Do you have the sniffles? I don't wanna get sick. Keep your distance."

"Did you just donate our entire modern art collection to the-"

"Boy Scouts of America?"

"Yes! It is a-

"Worthwhile organization?" He asked as he walked away from her, snatching one of the visuals out of midair to turn into a pretended piece of crumpled paper and throwing it at a virtual bullseye with fake points. "I didn't physically check the crates but basically yes. And it's not our collection, it's my collection. No offense."

"No, you know what? I think I'm actually entitled to say our collection, considering the time that I've put in over 10 years curating that."

"It's a tax write-off, I needed that."

"You know, there's only about 8,011 things that I really need to talk to you about."

"Hey, Dummy stop now. The Bridgeport's already machining that part." Tony said to the machine as he walked past. He really didn't want to talk to Pepper right now.

"The expo is a gigantic waste of time." Pepper cut him off from the front.

He put his hands on her shoulders and said, "I need you to wear a surgical mask until you're feeling better, is that okay?"

"That's rude."

"There's nothing more important to me than the Expo." Tony continued walking. "It's my primary point of concern. I don't know why you-"

"The Expo is your ego gone crazy." Pepper corrected.

"Wow, look at that." He said, picking out a huge frame with an Iron Man poster in it. He turned his head back to look at Pepper. "That's modern art. That's going up."

"Oh you've got to be kidding me right now." Pepper scoffed.

"I'm gonna put this up right now." Tony replied, completely ignoring her. It didn't matter what he donated or where stuff went. He was going to be dead soon and he was going to make the most of the rest of his- very short- life.

"Stark is in complete disarray. Do you understand that?"

"No! Our stocks have never been higher"

"Yes from a managerial standpoint!"

"Well if it's messy, then let's double back. Let's move on to another subject."

"Oh, no no no, you are not taking down the Barnett Newman and putting that up!" Pepper protested as he went to hop up on the counter to hang the poster up. First, he shoved the vials off the counter so that the glass crashed onto the floorboards.

"I'm not taking it down, I'm just replacing it with this, let's see where I can get it." He stood up on the counter.

"Okay fine. My point is we have already awarded contracts to the windfarm people and to-"

"Don't say windfarm I'm already feel gassy."

"-the Plastic Plantation Tree, which was your idea by the way-"

"Yeah?" He observed the poster that was now hanging on the wall. It looked absolutely amazing.

"Those people are on payroll, and you won't make a decision-"

"Everything was my idea, I don't care about the liberal agenda anymore. It's boring, boring! I'm giving you a boring order, you do it." He hopped down from the counter to land in front of her.

She gave him a quizzical look. "I do what?"

"Excellent idea, I just figured this out. You run the company."

"Yeah, I'm trying to run this company." Pepper pointed out. "Pepper, I need you to run the company." Tony spoke at the same time and then added, "Well stop trying to do it and do it."

"You will not give me the information that I need-"

They overlapped their words, her arguing for him to give her information and for him trying to tell her that she was supposed to run the company now.

"You're not listening to me!"

"You're not listening to me!"

"I'm trying to make you CEO!"

Pepper went silent and Tony added, "Why won't you let me?"

"Have you been drinking?" Pepper asked, a quaver in her voice.

"Uh, chlorophyl." Tony responded, blinking. He stepped forward and took her by the shoulders, "I hereby irrevocably appoint you Chairman and CEO of Stark Industries effective immediately. Yeah, done deal. Okay?"

Pepper stayed silent as he walked over to where one of the robots was coming around with drinks. God, he loved how this lab worked. "Actually, I've given this a fair amount of thought believe it or not. Been doing a bit of headhunting so to speak." He popped the champagne bottle and started to pour glasses, "trying to figure out who a worthy successor would be. And then I realized," The champagne flew into the air in a stream before splashing back down in the tray. "It's you. It's always been you."

Pepper sat down in a chair in silence, to stunned to speak while he poured the glasses. "I thought there'd be a legal issue, but actually I'm um capable of appointing my successor, my successor being you."

He held out a glass of champagne to her. "Congratulations?!"

He was entirely pleased, seeing the shy, shocked smile come out on her face when she realized that he was being serious. Her hand was shaking as she reached for the glass.

"Take it, just take it."

"I don't know what to think." She said, her voice quavering even more as she was overcome by her emotions.

"Don't think, just drink." He added with a wink.

She laughed a little as they clinked their glasses and then added a bit more seriously, "But what about Pumpkin? When she becomes human?"

Tony shrugged, "If she ever wants to run a business, well you'll be CEO and she can talk to you. But I'm thinking more about just taking her to see the world. Spoiling her silly."

If he lived that long. He was glad that they had bonded, but between how long it was taking- he was still just a little frustrated about that in the back of his mind- and his own proclaimed health crisis, he wondered if he'd even get to see what his soulmate looked like as a human.

Animal soulmates whose human partner died before they were transformed back usually didn't last long. And they would be stuck in their animal form for the rest of their lives.

"Well then its a done deal." Pepper said softly, and they drank to it.

🎃 :::::  🧡  ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━  🧡  ::::: 🎃

You sat on one of the expensive couches, watching Tony who was wearing all black, spar against Happy in his gear. You were fairly content to simply half-watch really, flopped over on your side in a patch of sun. Your eyes were mostly closed, but you could hear heels coming down the hallway. Pepper had already entered and you hadn't thought there was another lady in the house- unless it was a man wearing heels- and you sat up straight to see a gorgeous red head walking down the stairs with a contract in her hands.

Your nose twitched in irritation. There was a predatory scent about her and once catching the edge of a tattoo on her upper arm that was not a name, you knew she'd been an animal soulmate as well. In this case however, it was clear she had been a predator. You sniffed the air again. Fox maybe?

"I promise you this is the only time I will ask you to sign over your company." Pepper called out, trying to get Tony to get out of the boxing ring and sign over the company.

He had already told you what he was doing and you thought it was a great idea. It would free up more of his time than already and Pepper seemed like a good successor.

Happy kindly hit Tony in the head as he still hadn't taken his eyes off the red head, which was just slightly irking you. But you pushed it back. Tony had done an exceptional job at staying loyal to you. A pretty red head probably wouldn't change that.

Tony kicked Happy in the stomach hard so that he crashed against the edge of the boxing arena. You got to your paws, stretching, then bounded up to the edge of the couch to be a little higher.

"What's your name lady?" Tony called out.

"Rushman. Natalie Rushman." The red head replied.

"Front and center, come to the church." Tony replied.

"No, you're seriously not going to-" Pepper protested.

"If it please the court, which it does- "

"It's not problem."

"I'm sorry. He's very eccentric." Pepper apologized.

Natalie climbed into the boxing arena and you watched with the grace of which she moved. Yes, she had definitely been a fox. Your eyes narrowed in, disliking her even more.

They stared at each other for way to long. You glanced over to Pepper who gave you an apologetic look.

"What?" Tony finally asked. His back was to you so you couldn't see what sort of face he was making. He looked over at Happy and said, "Can you give her a lesson?"

"No problem." Happy responded which made Pepper roll her eyes in exasperation.

Tony climbed out of the boxing ring to go and sit in the same seat as Pepper. They talked in undertone to each other and you kept your back on Tony to show your anger and decided to watch Natalie and Happy instead.

"You ever boxed before?" Happy asked.

"Yes, I have." Natalie responded.

"Like Tae Bo, booty boot camp, crunch, something like that?" Happy asked.

"How do we spell your name, Natalie?" Tony called out across the room.

"R-U-S-H-M-A-N." She responded.

Tony immediately turned to his tablet and you sunk into the couch, knowing he was probably googling her. You couldn't help but overhear him rattling off all the languages she could speak and that she was a model in Tokyo. Well if you ever needed a confidence deflator, just put yourself in the company of Natalie Rushman.

Natalie was looking over her shoulder at Tony and Happy took this as the advantage to say, "Rule number one: Never taken your eye off your opponent." He went to throw a soft punch at her.

Before he could even get close, she grabbed his hand with lightning speed, somehow got her legs around his neck, and slammed him to the floor with a loud thud. It was over in the blink of an eye.

"OH MY GOD!" Pepper shrieked, leaping to her feet. "HAPPY!"

You got to your paws, hopping down from the couch. Well, there was no way you were staying in this room now. She had everything.

You padded out of the room to go and find some food.

[novelcain]

Ooooh dragon theories!!!!! I, for one really wanna hear it!

I'm a curious lad and you just mentioned one of the most universal and fascinating mythological beings. I must know what theory you have about them.

- ��

FINALLY I CAN ANSWER THIS NOW!!

This ask was based on another ask, which you can find here!

*SHAKES A CAN OF ROCKS*

GATHER ROUND CHILLENS! CAUSE ITS TIME FOR A SKITTLE RAMBLE!

Ok so technically I have a few theories about why dragons are so universal!

The easiest one is that humans as individuals aren't special and think alike a lot more than people want to admit which could be why we have so many repeat concepts throughout history where there was absolutely NO contact with the other cultures some even happening at similar times halfway across the world when that kind of communication wasn't possible😐... But I don't like that idea!😃 *throws it into a wood chipper and aggressive shoves the remains in a blender*

*dusts myself off* NEXT THEORY! You guys may wanna get comfortable for this one.

Now, this one may seem kinda far fetched, but I personally believe it has some merit, so stick with me here! IN FACT, this was actually going to be my college thesis before I dropped out, so I have collected a lot of evidence to support it at least being a possibility! (And in case anyone was wanting to know what I studied I majored in biochemistry and mechanical engineering and minored in psychology. If anyone wants to know more about that feel free to ask.😌 NOW BACK TO MY HYPOTHESIS!) But before we begin☝️, a question. Have any of you ever experienced a situation where you've met someone you've never known get to talking to them and realized that they've had the same wacky and insane idea as you that you've never told anyone about? Well, there's a term for! It's called ✨social consciousness✨! And because of this fascinating concept, I spent my high school and college years secretly experimenting on all my friends, family, and any stranger I was in the company of for longer than five minutes! (Ritz if you're seeing this, yes, I did use you as a test subject, but you can't be mad because you were and still are my favorite one.😁) All to push the limits of this concept in the name of science! And fear not! No humans were harmed in the making of these experiments except for that one kid in my high school college program who had an existential crisis when I discussed this theory of mine with him but that's neither here nor there. ANYWAYS! What I discovered was FASCINATING to say the least! I found that within close proximities, thoughts can to some degree be interpreted! And no I don't mean telepathy. Nothing has come out of those experiments so far BUT I'M STILL HOLDING OUT HOPE! What I mean is that all living creatures emit bioelectricity some more than others but that's besides the point and brains run on that bioelectricity! I believe that each species has a specific frequency and therefore the brainwaves of individuals might be able to be picked up on by another member of that species. Of course, for humans brainwaves can differ greatly and so also I hypothesize that it certainly helps if you have similar brainwave patterns given that some test subjects were more responsive than others but I didn’t have access to an EEG machine those cowards wouldn’t let me borrow one so I wouldn’t know for sure. A few of my finds were as follows: ~57% of the time when consistently thinking of a random tune someone else in the room will begin either humming or tapping to the same rhythm. ~82% of the time when intensely staring at someone from behind or an out of sight location they will directly turn to look at you. ~29-30% of the time when continuously thinking a certain word or action around someone they will eventually mention that they can't seem to get it off their mind lately. And there are many other data points I've collected over the years as well many other branching theories but I think you get the point I'm making. But it's probably that this point in time that you're thinking, "Skittle what the frickidy FUCK does this have to do with dragons?" And to that I ask you, if you took this theory and applied it to a very large population thinking about something all at once, what do you think would happen?🙃 I believe something every interesting would result from such a thing. Such as maybe say the transference of ideas and concepts from one culture to another even over great distances. Except with a few differences here and there to account for both culture and dilution of the transmitted concept. And this doesn’t apply to just dragons, we see similarities in religions that never even knew each other all the time. It’s incredibly interesting to think about.

Basically, if you learned anything at all from that one it's that the world should be on its knees thanking whatever cruel yet merciful god exists that I didn't continue down the path of science otherwise I'd probably be in some government lab either as a mad scientist with questionable morals or an experiment to see how far one can truly stray from sanity.

And my final theory!☝️

That dragons were a real species that might have been hunted or driven to extinction by a growing human presence. And if they were a very large widespread species found all over the world then regional differences would only be natural. That they, like many other species, adapted to their habitats. Or perhaps they are like tigers, leopards, lions, and jaguar who are all different species but are from the same genus. And if they were animals meant to fly then hollow bones would most likely be very necessary making fossilization and preservation very difficult. Paleontologists find pieces of large bones that can't be identified all the time. And fossilized eggs aren't even possible to be definitively matched to a species. We could have been staring at the answer for decades and we'd never know it.

Me trying to explain my theories in a manner that makes sense: