#i wanna read and write about my silly little gay men doing silly little things

[patolemus]

wrote 1.3k words today. i'm incredibly proud of myself. i'm also so fucking behind on my assignments

[wisemins]

✧༻❀!Starshine’s Self-ship Promo!❀༺✧

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𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙤𝙙𝙚...

𝙎𝙚𝙡𝙛-𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙧 𝙙𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙙!

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❝𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒆, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒉 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒐!❞

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❥ Hello all, I’m Starshine, your local self-shipping goblin here to finally make a promo/pinned post! 

❥ Paragirl | She/her, they/them, zhe/her | Bisexual, Ficto, ace spectrum | INFP-T

❥ If you’re in need of a new self-ship pal, need a gush pass or simply want to read this, travel onward!

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Carrd (something to get my sillies out with. Other info too. Graphic design is my passion *blaring Star Wars intro*) (Sidenote, right as of 4/5/24, haven't paid my yearly carrd yet, so info is missing. Bottom line for dni: don't be weird. treat people right. and no fuckin pedophiles.)

Full F/O List (I recommend you take a gander at this since I sometimes I’m too lazy to update my carrd. I’ll always update this list though.)

FYI (tidbits about me, stuff you might not need to know but I wanna share. Includes list of fandoms.)

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Before we move forward, I must mention these few things!

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❥ I do not tolerate ship discourse or any discourse for that matter on my blog, don’t bring it round’ these parts please. I do not care to discuss it or perpetuate it, thank you!

❥ I am not comfortable with sharing romantic F/Os as romantics, platonics and familials are completely fine though (queer platonics are the exception here!). I have a butt-ton of f/os by the way, if that bothers you I recommend you dip out. But if we only share like one or two, I can just block your tags too! Just lmk!

❥ I am 21 years old, please be aware of this! I might post some NSFW things, keep this in mind! I also swear a lot in text. Plenty of my men and women are also whores, sorry about that.

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Now that’s out of the way, here’s a little bit about me!

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❥ I’m an artist in almost every regard, mostly digital and traditional art! I also write a lot (peep my Etsy I write love letters for people like us ❤️❤️❤️ ) do art commissions there too, and make jewelry for myself and my close ones!

❥ I’ve been self-shipping for as long as I can remember, I still have my very first f/o on my list that I actively inserted myself with over 8 years ago!

❥ I’m a massive fan of music, a self-titled music geek if you will, I also have over 200+ confirmed playlists. I take it a little too seriously, blame the autism.

❥ I’m native american and very proud of it!

❥ I’m incredibly gay! Like man. Really gay. Anyways--

❥ I’m a punk, feel free to ask me about it!

❥ I’m gaming. A lot. Pew pew pew

❥ Maladaptive daydreamer!

❥ CEO of AoT f/os, Marvel f/os, Star Wars f/os, CoD f/os, and biker f/os! Probably more to come knowing me

❥ Talk to me about my favorite fandoms and I’ll lichrally explode  

❥ I run an imagines blog! @selfshipseaside​

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Tagging system

I usually have two tags for each romantic f/o, sometimes just one! Platonics and familials only have one tag. Keep in mind I haven’t been using this system for very long, my old posts are tagged with no emojis, just the tags themselves. So be aware of that! 

Romantic ships will be tagged with: ❤️: [tag] 

Platonic ships will be tagged with: ✨: [tag]

Familial ships will be tagged with: 🏡: [tag]

Crushes will be tagged with: 💌: [tag]

Retired/Exes will be tagged with: 💔: [tag]

Queer-platonic ships will be tagged with: 🫶: [tag]

Note: I might sometimes post something suggestive or NSFW. Block this tag: “Starshine’s feelin’ spicy 😳” if you are either a minor or just don’t wanna see it. Thank you!!

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❥ If you got this far and you seem to enjoy my vibes, please feel free to follow or dm me! I am in love with my babes, and I’d love to hear your love stories! I absolutely adore making new self-shipping friends, do not be afraid of me fellas!

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[adultswim2021]

Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law #1: "Bannon Custody Battle" December 30, 2000 - 4:30AM | S01E01 Welcome to the first episode of Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law, the first show on Adult Swim’s roster that I rejected as a substandard product. It should’ve been the Brak Show. In the opening episode, Birdman takes a case from Dr. Benton Quest, better known as Jonny Quest’s father. Race Bannon is fighting for custody of the boy, arguing that he’s a much better, much more present father figure to Jonny. Harvey Birdman was first conceptualized with an episode of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. In the episode “Pilot” we’re shown a supposed disastrous pilot episode of “Coast to Coast” where Birdman was originally attached as the star. Birdman, a depressive, out-of-work super hero, utterly botches the job as his inability to host a late-night show due to his deriving all his powers from the sun becomes more apparent. The character recurs a few more times, most notably in the episode “Sequel”, where Birdman guest-hosts the show. Still, to call this a proper Space Ghost spin-off requires carrying a big asterisk along with it. The character name “Harvey Birdman” was invented for Space Ghost, but besides both being based on the old 60s Birdman Hanna-Barbera show, they have little to do with one another. One would get almost nothing out of watching the original Space Ghost episodes before watching this (except for, you know, getting to see episodes of a much funnier show).

So in Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law you have one 60s Hanna-Barbera character as a lawyer taking court cases from various other Hanna-Barbera characters, usually of a similar vintage. In this particular episode we’re treated to a lot of jokes about the homoerotic subtext of Jonny Quest, specifically the relationship between Race Bannon and Benton Quest. The writers decide to tastefully side-step the seemingly pederast relationship between Race and Jonny. Watching the original Jonny Quest with the same attempt to subvert and recontextualize the relationships between the characters through a modern lens, a certain type of observer would probably note the amount of shirtless roughhousing Race does with Jonny. Speaking of watching Jonny Quest: I have to admit something: I never really watched Jonny Quest at all before writing this blog. I’ve had an interest in older shows and cartoons my entire life, but the entire genre of action cartoon didn’t appeal to me whatsoever when I was a kid. So last night I watched my first episode of Jonny Quest, in glorious 1080p on my new 4K television; a format it was never EVER intended to be viewed in. Jonny Quest is objectively junk. It’s fun, boyish, escapist entertainment, and there’s a lot of good irony in it, especially with it’s antiquated portrayal of other cultures from a bygone era when we were far less connected to the rest of the world. It has limited animation and simplistic design. The backgrounds look like they were painted on a post-it-note and most of the men are drawn to look like reskinned versions of Race Bannon. But there’s at least something a LITTLE charming about it. In fact, there was one moment of beautifully scripted action that absolutely won me over: Race and Jonny’s speed boat goes airborne briefly and crushes the bad guy’s boat from above as they speed towards one another. I nearly cheered when it happened. I knew The Venture Bros took liberally from Jonny Quest, but the coolest action sequences on that show seemed to be striving for the same exact visceral reaction I got from seeing Race crunch up some lizard men on a boat. Birdman is a similar deal: He was a cookie-cutter imitation of comic book heroes from the silver-age of comics (the obvious comparison here is DC’s Hawkman). I actually did watch a Birdman adventure late last night as I was falling asleep to follow up on Jonny Quest, but it felt less important. I can remember checking out the original Birdman on DVD not too long ago. Also, your typical Harvey Birdman usually focuses on jokes about shows other than Birdman. Still, it’s neat to see those characters in their original context, as well as that Hanna-Barbera stock-explosion animation we all know and love from Space Ghost blowing up Zorak on Coast-to-Coast. Also the episode I watched will be heavily referenced later, but not for this. I only watched the first episode of Jonny Quest taking a cue from my friend Kon who noted that most of the references in “Bannon Custody Battle” are directly from the first episode. The most specific (and funniest) scene in the whole show involves the Lizard Men, the main villains of that first installment. Other characters show up very briefly, and are all ones that appear in the opening sequence. Unless I find out differently (I’ll probably try to make my way through the rest of Quest in preparation for Venture Bros.), it really does seem like the writers just watched the first episode of Jonny Quest to write this show. Watching this episode of Harvey Birdman was like batting away an existential crisis. I remember vaguely at the time not being SUPER hot on this show, but I cut it a lot of slack and trusted that it would simply get funnier. I wanted to love all the shows on Adult Swim. Anyway, I went from being lukewarm on Birdman, to hating it. Reading my own earlier review of Birdman I blasted this episode for being homophobic. I used to have a very low tolerance for gay jokes, back when they were highly in fashion. But now that we live an era where there’s an arms race to find new ways to scold one another for perceived slights gay jokes can sometimes, NOT ALWAYS, be a little refreshing to hear. The fact that my stance on gay jokes can change as long as it’s in direct-opposition with the rest of the world is at least a little troubling. Does this mean I’m an inauthentic reactionary? Yes. Yes it does. There, I admitted it. Now, let me off the hook, please. I say that sorta jokingly. The gay jokes in this are mostly pretty lame, and come off like Mike Scully-era Simpsons gay jokes. The early scene at the beginning where Birdman eyes widen when he’s misunderstanding the nature of Dr. Quest’s and Race Bannon’s relationship really does come off as early 90′s homophobia. I remember it seemed out of place at the time. I’m sure it played just fine in the midwest, but the show didn’t really put it’s best foot forward with that. Speaking of lame jokes, this episode has a few that have nothing to do with insulting gay people. One of my least favorite bits involve the specific gag of undercutting a dramatic moment with characters fumbling around awkwardly in true-to-life fashion. Why, if a person tried to recreate a dramatic sting you’d see before a commercial break in real life, you’re right, it’d probably go awkwardly! But this 11 minute show has at least 3 explicit examples of this, and it’s only mildly amusing once:

Bannon dramatically walks out on Dr. Quest, after announcing his intention to take Jonny with him. He awkwardly comes back because he forgot his keys

Birdman dramatically argues with a rival prosecutor and summons his personal digital assistant, and then awkwardly fumbles with it

Birdman proves that the Race Bannon on the witness stand is actually a robot by unplugging him, but he accidentally pulls the wrong cord and has to spend a few seconds untangling and retracing the correct cord.

Another thing about Birdman is that there is usually a lack of strong jokes. The show usually includes a layer of comedy where there are simply characters who simply have odd, scattered speech patterns or odd ticks. The rival lawyer in this slurs his speech in a particular way: cut to the jury looking confused. That’s the joke. The Judge grumbles in an ornery fashion and generally acts like he doesn’t wanna be there. He says stuff that sounds like bad improv. That’s the joke. The show will only ocassionally come up with jokes to justify these character traits. It’s just silliness that doesn’t usually go anywhere. But, I do kinda like some things about this episode. It was animated by J.J. Sedelmaier, known for early digital animation seen in the crude era of Beavis and Butt-head and SNL’s TV Funhouse. They really do have their own style of comic timing, and there are some gags in this where the animation works in their favor. There are some jokes where the drawings really sell the comedy. I’m not sure if I liked this animation better or worse, but it does match the oddly-stilted Jonny Quest animation better than the episodes that came after this would have. Oh, one of the funniest bits not on the show was when I popped in the DVD I forgot that the menu music is Wesley Willis’ “Birdman Kicked My Ass”. If I were in high school when the DVD came out I would have loved it just for that reason. Same could be said “Jonny Quest Thinks We’re Sell-Outs” by Less Than Jake. I was an easily impressed kid.

[capsgirl19]

wait I wanna hear about the gay subtext and wasted potential of teen beach 2

Okay, strap in because I don’t do elevator pitches. Major spoilers for Teen Beach Movies 1&2. And a readmore because this is LONG!

SO. Idk if this is a common observation, but it seemed fairly obvious to me that Lela fell hard in love with Mack over the course of the first movie. She felt trapped by gender roles, obligated to pursue a relationship with a boy over and over again, never even considering that there might be something more until this girl unlike anyone she’s ever met crashes into her life saying that she can do anything men can do, that she doesn’t have to fit into a little box. I legit thought the scene in her bedroom might be her confessing to being gay, though I knew it wouldn’t be. And like... the necklace exchange? The extended hug at the end? Not to mention in the second one, she’s desperate to escape her own universe so she can be with Mack again, desperate to live in a world where she’s allowed to be her true self. The fact that Brady turns into a garbage fire in that one doesn’t help my opinions on the canon pairings, either. By all rights, Lela’s story in the second movie ought to be a tragedy. She escapes a world defined by rigid expectations that she be in a relationship with a man to get back to the girl who changed her life. And she makes it! And she’s happy! And then it turns out everyone she loves will die if she doesn’t go back to her own life. She makes this tremendous sacrifice to save her entire universe, and honestly a sad gay story is cliche, but imo better than doing what they actually did with that ending.

As a little aside, can we talk about the unbelievable amount of lip service in these movies that the second one undermines with its entire plot? In the first movie Brady was kinda dumb, but a seemingly good boyfriend. Mack was so about Girl Power that she was trying to bring third wave feminism to the early sixties. In the second one Brady is sulky, jealous for no reason, dumps his girlfriend because HIS TRASH ASS fucking forgot they had plans, and never even has to apologize for it. On the contrary, Mack apologizes to HIM! When she never did anything to so much as suggest she’d find his interests stupid! I digress, sorry, it pissed me off to no end.

That finished, let’s get into the meta. While I don’t think the writers realized it, they wrote a super interesting multiverse. We’ve got the prime universe, the one Mack and Brady are from, which is the one all the others spawn from. My theory is that literally anyone can create a universe by writing about one. The intricacy of the created universe is based on how much worldbuilding goes into it, and the better thought-out the universe, the stronger the fabric of reality surrounding it will be, and the harder it’ll be to change from its intended path. This isn’t a new concept, but there’s an interesting level of equity in the fact that secondary universes can rewrite the entire timeline of the primary one if they change enough. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Wet Side Story is a sleepy little universe, not much thought put into how it runs at all. The characters sing and dance their way through the same summer over and over again in a contented daze, like the lotus eaters of the Odyssey. And then along come Mack and Brady, to stretch at the delicate chiffon of this simple place. The characters closest to them begin to stir from their trances, and there’s no way to go back. No way to unknow. Only an endless summer, a stretching eternity of pretending, and Lela can’t stand it. With barely a few months between, she’s pulling that fabric in the opposite direction trying to get back to the girl who captured her mind and her heart, currently in a failing relationship. And then she has to go back. She doesn’t want to. Mack seems to wish she could stay, if only for Lela’s own sake. She and Tanner return to their own universe, but not before Mack tells her that she can control her own destiny and shape her universe to her whims. Lela takes this to heart, becoming the solo star of the film. It’s too much. The thin fabric separating her universe from the primary one tears as she severely alters its timeline, allowing her to throw Mack a leather jacket matching her own through a movie screen, and shoot her a sly wink as she dances along to the movie. This is the end of Teen Beach 2, and oh boy, do I have sequel ideas.

Here’s the setup: so. Lela goes home. Whoever wrote the movie she’s in has long since abandoned caring for the universe they never bothered to build a world for, and their grip is weak. It’s easy to wrest the pen from that loose hand, to bend her world around her until it suits her desires, and she writes a great story. But it still feels empty. Lela is the queen of the beach, but her friends still seem their happiest playing their new roles, over and over again. She ascends to godhood, taking the reins of her own universe, but it’s lonely at the top and she’s as high as a person can go. She is peerless. She has nothing but time to ponder the nature of everything, and to yearn for the only equal she ever had.

The final film doesn’t open with her, though, and this one’s a fuckin’ doozy. Think Infinity War (the comic, not the movie, and maybe a little bit of Marvel’s Illuminati plotline too) meets a lesbian pulp novel. It opens with Mack, a few years later, now in college studying oceanography. Things keep sort of... glitching out. The camera pans past a character or scene from Lela, Queen of the Beach, or maybe even Wet Side Story, but when Mack looks back at it it’s always normal again. She decides she’s being silly, and it’s just been awhile since she watched her favorite movie, so that night she makes some time and puts it on. Lela herself steps out of the screen after one of her numbers and restores Mack’s memories of the timeline that got dead-ended by Lela’s alteration of her own universe. Mack is thrilled to see her after so long, and they hug, Mack explaining what she’s been doing in the time they’ve been apart. For Lela, it’s only been a year, and she never aged to begin with. Lela tells Mack how she took her advice, she changed her movie, but things were still so unbearably lonely. She tells her that whoever created their multiverse is cruel, that they had no regard for the people within, but that it’s alright. Lela knows how to handle indifferent creators, after all. She’s going to merge it all into one universe, no hierarchies, that she personally will oversee. She’s come to ask Mack to rule at her side.

Mack is afraid of her power and afraid of her ideas. She tries to talk Lela out of it, but to no avail. Lela is deeply sad that Mack doesn’t see things her way, but out of love for the other girl and a genuine belief that she’s too powerful to be stopped, once again forging her own destiny, she folds the necklace into Mack’s palm and returns to her own universe to continue her work.

Mack and Brady went their separate ways after high school, not on bad terms, but because a long-distance relationship didn’t seem realistic. This is the first time they’ve spoken since she left for college, but Brady is her only hope for someone who might understand. She manages to jog his memory, and they have to work together to try and prevent Lela from remaking all of creation. There are posters throughout which serve as markers of how close she is to achieving her goals, shifting gradually closer to their final form: Lela in iconic pink jacket leaning against the side of a motorcycle on a black-sand beach, a galactic sky behind her. The title reads, “LELA: QUEEN OF THE MULTIVERSE.” This is also the working title of the third movie.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand that’s all I got! How does it end? I don’t know! Probably Lela doesn’t merge the multiverse into one place, because that’s never a great plan. Maybe she just gets to live in Mack’s universe and go to college and find a girlfriend and have a good life? And her movie’s about Tanner and Bucky now (bc holy god there’s not as much of a story there but Tanner is fucking gay as hell), but it has the same story as the original? That might be good. Could also be called “Mack and Brady Save the Multiverse” idk.

[elle-eedee]

dcom daddies: ranked

whats up sluts i’m here to give you the content you did NOT know you needed: a foolproof algorithmic ranking of a mild selection of disney channel dads!

beast (descendants)

hotness scale: extremely tall (over a foot taller than me! this is Very Important to the scale) and he seems to be a mere thread’s width away from Unhinged at all times, which i love. i also think it’s very sexy of him to still have such a monstrous way about himself (what with the roaring and the growling) 20something years post-curse.... makes me wonder very vividly if such energies carry to the b*droom........ *clears throat* 10/10

quality of character scale: it eternally amuses me that beast seems to learn almost Nothing over the course of this trilogy. he’s literally pro-isle the ENTIRE time jsjdndjdjd..... not great considering it puts him directly at odds with his son (and, like, with social progress) but he Does seem to act the way he does with the kingdom’s safety in mind! plus when he’s not accidentally supporting magical fascism he’s super dorky. i love his goofy dance moves 7.5/10

total score: 17.5/20...... with this score alone you can tell this system isnt rigged bc if i had it my way he’d be winning

hades (descendants)

hotness scale: i hate his party city clown wig but i’m a total sucker for guys in makeup (EVEN THOUGH A DECENT SHADE OF LIPSTICK WOULD HAVE BROUGHT HIS ENSEMBLE TOGETHER. WHY DID THEY PROPOSE IT ON THE CHARACTER DESIGN WALL IF THEY WERENT GONNA FOLLOW THROUGH!!!) and i think the fact that hes Very Sleepy and doesnt own a dog makes him my dream guy 9.5/10

quality of character scale: he literally sings a song about how cool he thinks it is that he’s a shitty dad............ but he DOES come through when his kid needs him, so that’s nice i guess. i would have liked to see more of him but i’ll settle for reading and writing intricate fan works that delve into a hypothetical personality for him that’s mainly conjecture 7.25/10

total score: 16.75/20 i wanna see him in some preppy auradon clothes

jafar (descendants)

hotness scale: i wish i had nicer things to say about this man. he just....... bears so little resemblance to the original jafar it makes me :( maybe if he was more gangly, or if he carried himself w the same potent gay energy that og jafar has? itd also help it he wasnt a racist caricature. 4.5/10

quality of character scale: again, very much a racist caricature. jafar doesnt steal!!! why would This be what he chose to do with himself! but he does seem to be, perhaps, the least bad of the core four’s parents, which counts for something i suppose. 3/10

total score: 7.5/20 sorry bud

dr facilier (descendants)

hotness scale: listen. it’s dr facilier. what am i supposed to do, NOT give him a perfect score on the sexy scale? 10/10

quality of character scale: he just loves his daughter and wants to make sure she’s getting what’s hers!!!!! his dynamic with celia makes me really happy they seem so fun! though i guess you could argue it sucks that he’d send his darling babey dohter to do errands for big mean scary hades considering that Everyone on the isle seems to quake at the sight of him. but im sure facilier only does that to ensure that celia can hold her own! 8/10

total score: 18/20 and it’d probably be higher if we’d seen more of him

mr smee (descendants)

hotness scale: not only does this man fuck, judging by the ages of his kids he fucked RECENTLY. get it baby live your truth 7/10

quality of character scale: he seems to be SO kind and sweet to his baby sons..... holding their little hands and such!!! and judging by how nervous the kids are i’d imagine it was primarily smee’s idea for them to go to auradon. extremely noble sacrifice for their benefit even though he’ll miss them 10/10!!!!!

total score: 17/20 i want to kiss his hand, if he’ll have me

zevon necrodopolous (zombies)

hotness scale: every time i look at this man i think of this post. he’s the perfect amount of frumpy for my tastes and his voice is so unique!!!!! i’d let his z-band malfunction so he could *** ** ***** * ******* **** 9/10

quality of character scale: really really cares about his kids and wants them to be safe!! he raises his voice once which im not a huge fan of but i suppose it was justified given the circumstances. also that shot of him goofing about with d*le in the end scene shows remarkable capacity for forgiveness after decades of trauma and discrimination! what a guy. 9/10

total score: 18/20 an absolute dilf!!!!!

dale (zombies)

hotness scale: looks like an uncrustable. 0/10

quality of character scale: a fucking cop. die bitch! 0/10

total score: 0/20 get in since you wanna act clown

coach jack bolton (high school musical)

hotness scale: honestly pretty young for my tastes. and i literally Always swipe left on athletes, so..... fine looking, but not for me. 5/10

quality of character scale: obviously he grows as the series progresses but i feel like jack is Always in the way of troy getting what he wants, which sucks. i like that he’s kinda goofy on his off hours with his family exactly as much as i Hate how much he yells when hes on the job. i do wish we lived in the timeline where he and miss darbus actually had that duet about their disagreements, though. 5/10

total score: 10/20 truly an Average dcom daddy

vance evans (high school musical)

hotness scale: due to personal reasons i will be having bad taste. however, this man’s fashion sense in IMPECCABLE. i mean, the colors??? the unbuttoned collar???? come on now. there is also the gratuitous use of the d-word to consider......................... anyways 7.5/10

quality of character scale: it’s hard to tell how much of his interest in furthering troy’s career is out of sincerity and how much of it is sharpay nudging him. but either way the result is a man who supports his daughter unconditionally! he could be nicer to ryan, though (plus he’s an evil capitalist) 6/10

total score: 13.5/20 i feel like he and fulton have had Relations

mr gifford (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: listen, i’m a simple guy. i see a basic-looking man pursuing age gap romance in the midst of a mid-life crisis, i support him unconditionally. also i am just Really vibing with that oversized denim shirt on him!!! there’s an egregious amount of arm hair poking out that just works. good for him! and this is a small moment but i’m very flustered over his natural Touchy Feely instinct after wen pokes out his eye... however: man has no eyebrows. 8.5/10

quality of character scale: i’m not a child of divorce so i don’t know how this stuff works, but i feel like he springs a lot of major decisions on wen? not ideal. on the other hand, we DO stan that he has sydney move in before they’re married. this is not a christian home!!!! 6/10

total score: 14.5/20 probably my favorite lemonade mouth dad, but mostly because he’s like the only one paid any attention by the narrative

mr banjaree (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: men really have beautifully sculpted noses and we just let them, huh. i’m definitely overusing the word Handsome in this list, but in this case? i’m justified. mr banjaree’s beard suits him SO well and his hair looks so soft...... and we love the implicit cleanliness of a man who wears socks in the house! 8/10

quality of character scale: i super SUPER dont agree with this man’s Smothering-Adjacent Methods (and also i know firsthand that strict parentage just drives kids to be more rebellious, lmao) but all things considered he really just wants the best for his family PLUS he’s willing to meet mo halfway at the end! :’) 6/10

total score: 14/20 the way i feel about him is the way i feel when i get crushes on pastors in that You Are Complicit In My Trauma But We’re Gonna Kiss About It way

mr delgado (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: OOOOH GLASSES! 5/10

quality of character scale: it’s sort of implied that the Wacko Energies of charlie’s family are mostly the fault of his mom so it’s cool of this man to distance himself from that. he is, of course, still complicit in Whatever The Hell Her Deal Is unless he is constantly fighting with her offscreen 6/10

total score: 11/20 would have loved to see more of him

mr yamada (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: another chapter in the saga of unbuttoned collars! doesn’t get a lot of opportunities to show off his strengths but i appreciate that he is not the thinnest dad in town 6.5/10

quality of character scale: WOW fuck this guy. very dismissive of stella’s aspirations!!!!! i don’t like that he feels the need to talk Over her to her mom when he’s asking about her vegetarianism. dude she is right there.... however it’s a lil touching when he holds her guitar up at the end, so... 4/10?

total score: 10.5/20 *thinks about his slightly protruding tummy in his last scene* *thinks about his slightly protruding tummy in his last scene* *thi

bob duncan (good luck charlie: it’s christmas!)

hotness scale: in keeping this Specific to the feature-length xmas special, i will say that bob duncan is QUITE handsome! disappointed that he was wearing a shirt in the scene at the pool.... ill bet if this movie came out post-workout/makeover he’d have been shirtless >:/ i feel robbed... spare tummy, sir? spare tummy? additionally i love a man who rolls up his sleeves AND a man who stans kaiju movies!! also i love that he, quite literally, canonically fucks 8.5/10

quality of character scale: he’s about as charmingly incompetent as he is in the show, but the difference here is that he literally did not do a damn thing wrong! all he wanted to do was be civil with his inlaws and he frankly deserves MUCH better. its clear from his banter with the kids that he loves them very much (also i love how frequently he feels the need to jump/dive for things in this movie. silly slapstick icon) 8.75/10

total score: 17.25/20 this man’s mere presence oozes nostalgia

jerry russo (wizards of waverly place: the movie)

hotness scale: this man was MADE for me. the bottomless collection of hawaiian shirts....... the TWO tummy out scenes..........the fucked up evil thing his voice does when the kids try to steal the spellbook!!! he really has it all. also i love that he is truly just trying to have some beach intercourse 9/10

quality of character scale: i love that even when he doesn’t remember the kids he still maintains a little dadly rapport with them? the instincts...... it’s also incredibly good of him to relive his decision to give up his magic without hesitation once he realizes the severity of the situation :’0 10/10

total score: 19/20 i’ve never seen an episode of the show but im really about to start

neil morris (dadnapped)

hotness scale: handsome....... mr morris makes me feel simultaneously like a sapiosexual AND a morosexual because although he completed enough schooling to become a dentist, he also threw it away for a writing career like an absolute champ. also i find it unbelievably charming how Along For The Ride he is about the idea of being kidnapped. a man after my own heart 8.25/10

quality of character scale: this is a tricky one...... neil DOES show active concern for his daughter’s safety when push comes to shove, but he also has my least favorite type of redemption arc: “you THOUGHT i was neglecting you, but actually i was thinking about you the whole time and just never expressed it! we good?” so like. bleh. but he’s pretty mild mannered which i deeply appreciate in a man! 6.5/10

total score: 14.75/20 maybe talk to your daughter instead of writing a macgyver ripoff, dumbass

major joe mason (princess protection program)

hotness scale: prime dad bod, very believable for his line of work. also he has such a Gentle Way about himself when he’s around princesses....... i love all the hand holding when he’s escorting rosie. absolutely my type 8.75/10

quality of character scale: gosh.... where do i even BEGIN!!! his whole dynamic with carter is so ideal... i was apprehensive at first because his job would require him to be Absent a lot of the time, but upon reflection it’s clear that he’s raised carter well enough that he can totally trust her to be on her own, and also she’s only sad to see him go because she sincerely enjoys his company. everything about his profession is so noble and i love the way he can carry himself as casually or as politely as a given situation calls for. worst thing he does is say “i might have to stop calling you ‘pal’” because his daughter is wearing a pretty dress. i wish he was my dad but i’ll settle for him being my husband 9.75/10

total score: 18.5/20 i almost made a ppp self insert this morning specifically for Him

ted thompson (zapped)

hotness scale: athletes arent sexy!! this guy’s face screams The Only Websites I Know How To Use Are Facebook And Reddit and also he’s a dog person BUT he is sporting quite the tumbey if i do say so myself and for that i shall let him live. 4/10

quality of character scale: ok i know the whole point of this movie is Boys Bad but i hate men who are loud and i hate dads who get Weird about the inherent femininity of their daughters. when he calls zoey “sport” and then cringes like he’s made a mistake? dumb and unnecessary. HOWEVER all of his efforts to bond with zoey are really really sincere. like when he fixes her music box? that has NOTHING to do with the app he just Does It!!!! the movey mightve rubbed off on me a little too much but there are multiple ways to show love and just bc im not used to his way doesnt mean it has no worth! 6/10

total score: 10/20 mr thompson sir im sorry i doubted you at the start of the film

rob adams (radio rebel)

hotness scale: this man dresses 5-10 years younger than he looks and i respect that for him. but i was expecting him to be a bit more of a slimeball considering how tara talks about him in the opening scene... and you guys know how much i love slimeballs. regardless, pretty handsome! 6.5/10

quality of character scale: it’s nice that he goes to such a Public and Corporate effort to connect to his stepdaughter! even if it’s in a way that financially benefits him, it’s pretty clear that he cares about this family and wants to do right by them. nothing exceptional, though 7/10

total score: 13.5/20 i GUESS i’d be down to smash if he asked

ralph bartlett (read it and weep)

hotness scale: ok i was gonna say something mean about the fact that he’s balding but honestly he has really nice arms........ in addition he’s really quirky and optimistic which i am going to admire into my grave!! when he gets excited about having customers during the finale his voice quirks with an almost charlie day-esque charm. handsome. ALSO he calls jamie “princess” which is!!!!!!! something 7.5/10

quality of character scale: the way ralph parents his kids is Very 2000s in that he kinda babies his daughter but gets to pal around with his son, but i guess both dynamics come from a place of love and he could be doing much worse. plus he’s an honest hardworking small business owner! i support him 7/10

total score: 14.5/20 i would definitely go out for pizza with him

dr james hartley (how to build a better boy)

hotness scale: THIS. THIS IS WHAT DCOM DADDIES ARE ALL ABOUT. gosh..... this is truly the Most dad ive ever seen in my life. i love how his hair is always mussed..... how he’s so Desperate to relax that he falls asleep after Fifteen Seconds of smooth jazz..... and also. like. hes a scientist?? hello??? pretty sexy of him. i want to give this man the relaxation he deserves 10/10

quality of character scale: ok so,,,...,, kinda fucked up that he lied to his whole family (with the possible exception of his wife—sidenote, WHY did they make dr hartley married? his wife never comes up except when bart says she’s out of town. let him be single so i can slide into those dms) and EXTRA kinda fucked up that he works for the government? what a scab. BUT it’s very very clear that he cares about his kids (and gabby) and prioritizes their safety above all else! also, did you SEE how happy he was when mae won homecoming queen....... he loves her so so so much! :’0 8.5/10

total score: 18.5/20 i thirst tweeted about this man and roger bart replied ‘Aw, thanks!’ so i dont know where to go from here

[flying-elliska]

Hii Ellie. This is kind of a personal question and it’s totally okay if you don’t answer it. How did you come to terms with your sexuality? How or when did you know you were bi? I know that it’s not about putting tags on people or anything like that, it’s just that I’ve kind of been struggling with it and it’d be nice to read your experience if you want to share it

Ooooh anon do you have three hours ? lol. Of course I want to talk about it if it can help anyone even a little. 

The tl;dr is : in stages, I struggled a lot, and bi characters were super important to me. 

So I think as a kid/teen I always had this vague notion that ladies were very pretty, but I was not a lesbian bc I liked boys too much, and besides I had these horrible ideas in my mind about queerness being immature and yucky, it was bad. I think I pretty much did have crushes on several of my girl friends but I just didn’t understand that’s what it was, just super intense friendship and being jealous when they got boyfriends hmmmm. Also my ‘fashion folder’ was full of pics of Keira Knightley in a tank top, cause that’s the height of fashion, am I right. I also wrote a letter to a girl I met at camp telling her her voice was so soft and eyes were beautiful and full of stars...do you wanna be friends ? Lol I was so obvious I swear, but it’s funnier in hindsight. 

Then when I was 18 I met this older girl in my circle of friends who was bisexual and I thought it was really cool, but I didn’t really connect the dots. I am ashamed to say, I thought she was saying that to give herself a vibe. 

Then when I was 19 i bingewatched the series Torchwood  ( a Doctor Who spinoff) and it felt like an absolute revelation. Jack Harkness, the MC, is this incredible badass rogue time travelling adventurer from the future who charms women and men left and right without any issue about it. (I think he’s...omnisexual or something ?) But this is the first time I saw the possibility of being attracted to multiple genders as something that’s actually valid. Seems silly now but this was almost 10 yrs ago, lol. It was the dark ages in terms of queer rep back then. And it’s such an integral part of Jack’s character, and he’s just so cool and it really struck a chord with me, this idea that in the future anyone can love whoever they want. There was the idea of a society that is founded on those principles, and well, I am very political in nature I guess, and i was like. yes. i can see it now. but it remained theorethical. 

Then the year after that, Erasmus exchange and I meet this girl. Like, it was bam! in your face, I fell head over heels. Now, tbh, I don’t get attracted to people all that often, but when it came to her it was absolutely indeniable. Now, she was already with someone else, so we remained just friends and it did suck a little, but I’m not sad, because it taught me a lot about myself (and she was just such a cool person in general I’m glad I met her). I just couldn’t get past it, yeah she was cool and stuff but I didn’t just want to be her friend, I was attracted to her, I daydreamed about being in a couple with her, doing romantic stuff, etc. And it was super validating to learn she was also bi a little later down the line (she was such goals in general, god.) So then after that I was like...um am I a lesbian ? Like I do have a lot of issues with men. And so I spent a lot of time having this wishy washy thing in my head.  Also that year, I was in Amsterdam taking all those gender studies classes. And it opened up my mind in a radical way - learning about queer history, the fact that sexualities are socially constructed, feminism, activism, etc etc....it allowed me to let go of a lot of my crappy internalized prejudices. I also wrote an essay on burlesque with in field research because i ‘liked the costumes’ yeahhhh right okay. The levels of denial oh my god. ANyway. 

Then i got really, really into Supernatural for a while (sigh...it was better back then, I have to say). This was s8 and the high moment of the ‘let’s prove Dean Winchester is bi’ meta palooza on tumblr. And spending so much time hunting for clues and reading so much about people explaining their own experiences of being bisexual and not realizing it until later I was like....wait a minute....That’s just so me. Dean probs will never come out of the closet, because they’re cowards, but I certainly did, so yay, I guess. I looked over my past and I was finally able to understand. I wrote the meta of my own life. Lmao. And I was able to come out to one of my friends on the phone. I felt so fucking powerful afterwards. Then to a few other friends. And it felt good. 

Then I came back to Amsterdam and I was like, alright, time to stop being a coward and actually get involved in some real life LGBT stuff. So I joined a student association and man. It was so fucking scary. I remember, they had this meet up at a bar every month, and I actually went twice, and every time I just was too nervous to actually go inside, i stood in front of it, and I went home. So in the end I actually signed up to be a member and for the integration day, so I just forced myself to show up. And I did. It was so incredibly nervewracking. I met up with a group of students holding up a rainbow flag in front of the central station and we had these series of challenges to do - take a pic with a rainbow flag in front of one of those bible thumpers, stage a harry potter duel in public, order a starbucks drink with the name ‘Vagina Jensens’, mimick the titanic scene where they’re on the edge of the boat...it was so silly and fun and everyone was so nervous in the end, it was awesome. I ended up on the newsletter committee of that association and I had a blast, interviewing people, writing book reviews, etc...I did have complexes though, that everyone was more cool and gay aware than me lol. But it still did a lot for me and helped me come out to my family. (at a restaurant for my 25th birthday because i am a drama queen lol.). At the same time it was very...mainstream gay frat house lol. Focused on partying and drinking and being sociable in a way that can be exhausting to me, and a little light on the politics, which has always been important to me. After that I volunteered for the Eurobicon as I spoke about earlier and it was so important to me, that being bisexual is such a worthy identity to have in itself and important to me beyond being just queer, it was really cool. 

I’m not totally there yet I guess, because I find relationships in general difficult, it’s been a while, I often feel like i don’t have enough experience to call myself bi, I’m nerdy and awkward, I don’t fit the cliché of the seductive bisexual, etc etc. i sometimes think that i’m a little bit on the ace spectrum too or at least demisexual because i don’t seem to be into people as often as most of my friends, and even then it’s very emotionally-focused. I also feel very weird about gender in general so that’s also a whole other thing. And my brain is wonky and i feel it interacts with all that.  I still have moments of ‘oh what if i’m actually a lesbian ! straight ! ace !’ looool.

But less now. I’m learning to let myself just...Be. ahahahahaah. And also I have more and more bi friends and that helps a lot, to just randomly swoon over multigendered celebrities and learn to be very casual about it. 

Anyway my point is. I included all those messy (kinda embarassing) details because : getting to terms with your sexuality is fucking hard. The wow i figured it out young and then came out and it was great thing ? still not for everyone. I think a key part is, we grow up with these ideals of the perfect life, of what it means to be the protagonist of your life - and most of the time still it involves hetero couple, marriage, babies - and to look beyond that, for a while, it feels like you’re going off track, disqualifying yourself. So it’s hard. Sometimes you actually need several moments of revelation, of it sinking in. It’s fine, it’s all fine. You’ll get there. No pressure. Don’t try to fit your story into a certain pattern. It’s yours, so it’s valid. 

[fanfiction-ho]

Dissipating Resentments

To say that Sebastian was pissed was an understatement. He was so mad, he was furious at Chris and that stupid Glamour interviewer. It was a stupid mono tone interview that Chris had given about his future potential wife.

Sebastian was going through social media, reading tweets and seeing himself become a meme, those never seem to end. His twitter notified about Chris. He had muted all his notification except the ones involving Chris Evans. He had every right to know what the internet was telling about his boyfriend.

He kept calling Chris but the latter didn't seem to answer any of his texts or voice mails and that only aggravated Sebastian more.

Chris was glad that his interviews were over; he couldn't take that shit anymore. He was tired from all the stupid questions he had to answer. There were some good ones, talking about his family cheers him up automatically but almost all the questions irrespective of what interview, they seem to focus on his love life.

Both Chris and Sebastian decided to be quite about their relationship; Chris was not even out to his mom. He was sure that she wouldn't object, and probably she already knows but he still kept it as a secret.

Instead of going to his home, he decided to take a detour and visit Sebastian; they were going to meet the next morning anyways.

Now that Chris was outside Sebastian's hotel room, he felt stupid. He wasn't even sure whether he would be in. His mobile had been buzzing nonstop for the past hour but he figured it'll be some fans tagging him in stuff.

He knocked the once, then twice. He heard shuffling from inside and a string of cuss words as the door opened, Chris chuckled at the silliness of his boyfriend. He loved how Sebastian was always smiling and just being around him would lift your spirits. Words cannot do justice of how lucky Chris felt being with him. When Sebastian smiles it's like...Holy Shit! What is this magic!? And Chris made it his goal to make him smile all the time

"Now what do they want?" Sebastian muttered to himself dragging his lazy ass out of the bed. He stubbed his little toe against the table. He let out a series of curse words opening the door.

There stood Chris, rather a very happy looking Chris and that pissed Sebastian off. He slammed the door as soon as he opened and sat down on the table next to the door grabbing his stubbed toe rubbing it with his palm hoping it wouldn't hurt so much.

"Sebastian? Are you ok? Open the door baby..." Chris kept asking what was wrong and why wasn't he opening the door. Sebastian finally gave in to his pleads and opened the door.

Chris sported a worried look on his face but Sebastian paid no mind to it. He opened the door and walked inside without even looking at his him, Chris was beyond confused.

"I get that you're mad...but I need to know why" Chris followed him inside closing the door behind him and locking it.

"I understand completely that you're not out yet... but you could've just lied in the interview"

"What are you talking about?"

"The Glamour interview that you did..." Sebastian said his voice so quite. He felt stupid that he was mad at Chris for such a petty thing. Chris did what he had to do to maintain his straight image but that kinda hurt Sebastian too.

In all honesty Chris didn't even remember when this interview happened let alone remember what he said.

"I've done so much shows these last few weeks I don't remember this baby...Can we just let this go?"

"Let it go as in just sweep it under the rug and forget all about it? I can't just let this go Chris!" Sebastian snapped at him, the annoyance clear in his voice.

Chris all though was tired he held onto his patience and let Sebastian have his little melt down.

"What did I say?" Chris took a hold of the younger one's shoulder and gave it a little shake.

"'I want a woman who wants to be a mom' you want kids!? And you also said that you'll take care of her!" He yelled. "What about me then? Just throw me to the side when your precious woman comes along?" He sat down on the bed taking deep breaths trying to calm down.

"You're pissed off because of that?"

"Oh there's more!" Sebastian scoffed. Chris should've just apologised but he had to ask.

"You apparently have a thing for Boston woman? Well news flash Chris, I'm neither a woman nor am I from Boston! And Tom Brady who the hell is that?" Sebastian yelled at him.

"He's a quarterback for theNew England Patriots team." Chris held back his laughter, jealous Sebastian amused him more than it should.

"And you like women who insult you? What?"

"No I said I like women who poke fun at me...a girl that I can have fun with" Chris said in a defensive voice.

Sebastian sighed dejectedly and fell back on the bed. Chris sat next to him, he reached out to hold his lover's hand but Sebastian pulled back his hand rubbing his temples.

"Look I know this is hard..." Chris wanted to tell him that no matter what happens he's never going to leave him.

"Do you?" Sebastian snapped cutting him off. "I'm sorry" He quickly added but Chris just waved it off.

"It's just... you keep lying to everyone about us...sometimes I think all of this is not real" Sebastian rubbed his face tiredly. Chris pinched Sebastian's thighs and the latter hissed in pain.

"Real enough for you?" Chris teased him chuckling but Sebastian kept his mean grumpy face and Chris shut his mouth.

"I'm sorry Sebby...I don't need a woman. I need only you" Chris said rubbing the sore spot where he had pinched him.

"It was all for the camera you of all people should know that. How do you think I feel when I see you kissing men on screen?"

"Not happy I guess" Sebastian mumbled

"And I plan on telling my mom about you...I'm sure she already knows that I'm gay" Chris said

"She knows" Sebastian nodded like he knew that already

"I didn't tell her...did you?" He asked

"Somehow moms tend to know all these stuff. My mom knew I was gay even before I realised that I was"

"You're still mad?" Chris asked hoping that he wasn't.

"I was never mad...not at you" Sebastian answered honestly

"Sebastian Stan...jealous is a very hot colour on you" Chris mused stroking his beard

"Christopher Robert Evans...cocky definitely doesn't suit you" Sebastian shot back leaning up pecking Chris' cheek to which he just scoffed brushing off the playful insult.

"Whatever" He rolled his eyes.

They ordered room service eating their stomach full talking about how their day went, obviously avoiding their little fall out just under an hour ago.

It was almost midnight neither of them showing any signs of sleep, they sat side by side watching the local channel, but it was just background noise to them as they kept talking

"There's one more thing about the interview that caught my attention..." Sebastian said

"Oh God don't get mad again"

"No...It's about your tattoos. I wanna know what they mean. You said that they were too personal to discuss..."

"Did you memorise the whole thing?" Chris joked earning a smack on his arm from Sebastian.

"What does this one mean?" Sebastian asked Chris while tracing invisible patterns over his right bicep over the tattoo. Chris was sitting with his legs stretched in front of him and Sebastian on his right same as Chris.

"It means 'Family'. All I am today is for my family" Chris leaned down to face Sebastian capturing his lips, the latter blushed. He felt a warm feeling filling his chest. He was his family. Sebastian moaned when Chris bit his bottom lip and Chris slipped in his tongue fighting for dominance. Sebastian pulled away; his focus was on the tattoos on Chris and not making out.

Chris made a disapproving noise asking what was wrong, no words were needed the look on Chris' face said it all. Sebastian gave him a smile that assured Chris that nothing was wrong.

"What's this one?" Sebastian poked the tattoo which was above the Chinese symbol that meant 'Family'

"It says 'Loyalty'" Chris sighed knowing that he was not gonna get to kiss his boyfriend but instead talk about his tattoos.

"What about this one?" Sebastian sat on Chris' lap taking hold of his left bicep.

"That's my mom's star sign Taurus" He replied patiently.

"Who's Bar...Bards...Is that an 'E'?" Sebastian couldn't read the tattoo properly. It was in the upper right portion of his torso making it hard for Sebastian to read as Chris was sitting.

"Bardsley...It's for my friend Matt, he passed away in an accident" Chris said silently. It still was a fresh wound

"Best friend or was he more?" Sebastian asked trying not to sound jealous. He was very possessive of Chris.

"Just a friend Sebby" Chris grabbed his face placing a chaste kiss on his lips, Sebastian responding quickly.

"A damn good one I guess..." Sebastian bit his lips leaning down kissing Chris where the tattoo was.

"Yeah I miss him..."Chris thought out loud making Sebastian feel stupid about his petty jealousness for the second time that day. He looked up; Chris was smiling down at him amused by Sebastian's curiosity over such mundane things like his tattoos.

"Wipe that grin of your face Evans!" Sebastian warned him but slowly he started to smile too.

"You didn't ask about this one?" Chris took the younger one's hand and placing it over his collarbone. Sebastian read the writing, a look of knowing passing his face

"This is by Eckhart something isn't it? I forgot his full name" Sebastian asked Chris was genuinely surprised by Sebastian's question.

"Eckhart Tolle. How did you know?" Chris asked

"I used to read all these pretentious literacy books when I was young. Moving to a whole new country when you didn't know English wasn't a smooth ride. I was twelve and a lot chubby that time..." He wasn't exactly bullied but communicating with the other people was tough.

"When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself you lose yourself in the world..." Sebastian read it out loud.

"How come you don't have tattoos...you seem to be enjoying mine" Chris asked

"I'm not really that into tattoos...never was" He slid down from his lap getting out of bed as his phone rang, that was never good news. Chris made a noise of protest but Sebastian shushed him.

"Yeah sure I'll be there..."He cut the call mumbling goodbyes.

"Do you have to go?" Chris asked already knowing the answer.

"I'll be back in two hours I promise. They just want me for one scene. You know I can't help it Chris" He tried to reason with him but he knew he was gonna pay for this some other time.

"Two hours...that's all!"

"Thank you thank you so fucking much baby" Sebastian kissed him in the lips quickly leaving with his jacket.

[callsignbaphomet]

For the ABC OC Ask, randomly selected: C # 1-5, D # 1-5, F # 1-5, G # 1-5, I # 1-5, M # 1-5. It's a lot of questions, take your time & feel free to answer as few or as many as you want. :)

Ooh, no worries, I looooove lots of questions. Also sorry, wasn’t ignoring this. I’m a scatter brain with no sense of time management. Since a lot of these are repeated I’ll skip over them since they’ll be in the previous post. Also I’ll give the answer to whichever OC I think best fits the question.

C: Comfort1. how do they sit in a chair?Angelus sits horribly in any chair especially if he finds it uncomfortable since he’ll be twisting and turning every which way until he finds a comfortable enough position.

3. what is their ideal comfort day?For Jelani it’s a quiet day where his phone doesn’t ring and he can get up at whatever hour he wants though even if he tried he can’t really sleep past 8:30 and he can spend the rest of the day in the art room reading while his husband is drawing.

4. what is their major comfort food? why?For Angelus it’s totally steamed dumplings. Just had one shitty day once and was taken out to eat but he wasn’t feeling up to eating much but nibbled on a few and loved them instantly so from that moment on every time he sees steamed dumplings it’s like instant serotonin.

5. who is the best at comforting them when down?Abigail? LokeLoke? JelaniJelani? LokeAngelus? GingerGinger? AngelusTrevor? LokeTre? TrevorLatoya? Abigail

D: Decoration2. how would they decorate their child’s room?So Fae is actually a graphic designer and in her spare time an interior designer so when she head her first baby, Leah, she went overboard with the latest trends but made it cute and neutral since she wanted it to be a surprise. Now with the triplets she wanted to know their gender for sure given the fact that she was dealing with triplets. Again went with the latest trends turned cute but she stuck to neutral designs anyway.

3. how do they decorate their own room?Ginger and Abigail have a bit of a gothic theme to their whole apartment but their room is especially heavily themed. The rest of the place is subtle but not their room. We’re talking Victorian goth, black silk sheets, dim lighting, dark reds and deep purples and lots of black.

4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear?Okay so for a while now I’ve been sketching and writing Angelus as a cross dresser and idk I think it fits him well plus he’s super into cute things. Any kind of skirts though he heavily prefers short and really short skirts, especially loves heeled boots, thigh high socks, baggy sweaters or any cute tops really. He mostly sticks to soft and pastel colors. Men’s clothes he’ll go with darker colors.

Accessories? He’s really into bows, flowers and really subtle bracelets, necklaces and earrings. No, he isn’t trans, he’s very cis. He just likes to cross dress and no, he isn’t doing it as a way to mock trans people he just really likes how he looks and feels while wearing women’s and girl’s clothes.5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends?Going with Angelus again, yeah he loves that stuff especially makeup. He’s gathered a pretty big collection of it over time gotten dozens of nail polish of all kinds of colors, and has a ton of makeup. He’d wear acrylic nails but 1) he’s super clumsy and 2) I’m not so sure it’s a good idea for a werewolf to do that.

F: Fun1. what do they do for fun?Most of them just really enjoy getting together, ordering a few large pizzas or just buying a bunch of tacos and bring a bunch of beer and soda and spend a few hours playing video games. Bringing their own consoles to have more people playing and if they feel silly enough probably stream it for friends who couldn’t come over to watch. If they don’t feel like going to one apartment they stay in their own and meet up online on whatever game they wanna play at the moment.3. who would they have the most fun with?Honestly a lot of them have known each other for literal centuries and have grown close and sometimes intimate so really they all just have a lot of fun together.4. can they have fun while conforming to rules?They can but Loke and Jelani are constantly holding the group back from making any idiot mistakes. Unless it’s to defend one of them they’re pretty chill when out.5. do they go out a lot?Not that often really. With the job sometimes they’re out for weeks and even months and when they finally have some down time they’re too tired to do much of anything else. They do go out though but just not when they’re on call.

G: Gorgeous1. what is their most attractive external feature?Jelani? Everything!2. what is the most attractive part of their personality?Abigail’s ability to always be encouraging and her bubbly personality just triples that.3. what benefits come with being their friend?Jelani: spoils friends and family every chance he gets, is always just one text or call away no matter if it’s an emergency or for fun, and is faithful to the end. 5. what parts of others do they envy?So out of all Angelus has the lowest self-esteem and he just thinks the worst of himself. He wishes he was as good a person as Loke is or as talented as Ginger or as confident as Jelani. Not just personality wise, he genuinely believes he’s some ugly monster that needs to be hidden (was raised to believe that and unfortunately stuck). He just wishes he wasn’t him on bad days but he’s been working on all of that and has done really well to the point where he doesn’t feel that way about himself all the time.

I: In-the-closet1. what is their sexuality?Angelus: gayJelani: pansexualAbigail: lesbianLoke: bisexual (demisexual)Latoya: pansexualTrevor: pansexual (aromentic)Ginger: bisexualAlly: ace/aroSanaa: queerIngvarr: bisexualJørgen: queerMason: gayTre: straightLeah: bisexualAnette: lesbian2. have they ever questioned their sexuality?Well, shit a bunch of them have at one point or another. Some took a little to settle their feelings while some took long years to realize certain things about themselves.3. have they ever questioned their gender?Asher did for long years though he wasn’t sure of what was actually happening and why he was so confused over a lot of things. Wasn’t until much later that he finally figured himself out.4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT?Angelus’s abusers, if they ever found out, would just use it as another reason to hate him even more though I won’t really touch up on that. They’re just incredibly hateful and abusive people.

M: Maternal1. would they want a daughter or a son?Loke wouldn’t care especially considering that they may end up being trans. He just wants one or two at the most.2. how many children do they want?Angelus wants none. He doesn’t hate kids or anything like that, he’s pretty good with them, really soft spoken and patient with kids. When Jela babysits his cousins he goes with him and helps out especially since it’s a teenager and three 7 year-olds. He’s just scared to death that he’ll end up abandoning them like his parents abandoned him (when I mean I abandoned I mean sold him) or worse that he’ll be like his abusers and he wouldn’t want any child to go through what he went through. Luckily his husband doesn’t want kids either.

As for Jax they’re Angelus and Jelani’s hypothetical child. Just something I wanted to have fun with. A Maker and a werewolf end up making a demigod hellhound btw!. Would this change in the future? Hell if I know, man. Maybe, maybe not.4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter?Trevor eventually ends up becoming a single father, accidentally but nonetheless he was super happy about it and will be a pretty great dad. He ends up having a son which he named Damien and had it been a girl he woulda named her Rosemary. If it wasn’t obvious Trevor is a huge horror nerd.5. would they adopt?Ginger and Abigail have talked about it a lot and since neither can have a kid (vampires in my setting can’t procreate, they’re very undead) they’ve decided to adopt but not yet. Not till they feel like they can be fully prepared.

[jojo-shojo]

Day 1!

Hey everyone this is only my 2nd time writing a fic so I hope it’s ok! I hope you like it!

Josuke’s hospital room fell quite as his best friend was trying to figure out what he had just said

“Oi- what do you mean you told her the truth?” Okuyasu asked quietly,

“ I mean, I told her. about Kira, about stands, about Mr. Jostar....about everything” a worried look formed on Okuyasu’s face. Josuke hated making others worry, but it seemed like that’s all he’s been doing for the past 48 hours.

“Come on man, what should I have told her? I’m hurt too bad to say I got in a fight at school and it not like anyone can heal me...” Josuke had already been scolded by Jotaro for telling Tomoko about the events of the past few months.

“I just couldn’t keep lying to her.... she deserves to know what’s going on in my life. We’re too close for me to keep big stuff like this from her...” Josuke’s was a bit shaky now. He hasn’t been emotionally stable for the past few days but that’s to be expected... Josuke had just been through so much trauma with his best friend almost dying on him and getting so hurt after fighting Morio’s most prolific serial killer and only barely making it out alive...

“Did you tell her about the hand?”

“Well kinda, it’s more like she guessed that you had one and when she guessed I kinda just nodded” Josuke felt sick now, was it ok that he told his mom about Okuyasu’s stand? Was Okuyasu gonna be angry with him? Was it something that he wanted to keep to himself? His mind was racing “I didn’t tell her what the hand did though, i-if that makes a difference at all “ Josuke losing confidence with each word

Okuyasu thought for a second before speaking.

“ I guess it don’t matter too much” he stop and thought more. “ I mean that you told her about mine, it’s still a big deal that you told her in general..... so how did she react? To all this new information?”

Josuke felt so relieved that Okuyasu wasn’t mad at him. The sick feeling starting going away now. He cleared his throat “ s-she didn’t believe me at first!” He almost yelled making the wound on his side hurt, Josuke gently grabbed it to try to numb the pain “ aaahhhhh, fuckin” he looked back up to Okuyasu and continued “ I couldn’t get her to even kinda believe me without providing it” Josuke was huffing remembering the stressful conversation with his mom.

“ How didya get her to believe you? She can’t see Crazy D” he said bluntly

“ oh I that was easy, I smashed my followers and fixed them again, of course I told her that Cazy D can’t fix me before she could even ask and-“ Josuke was cut off by Tomoko entertaining his hospital room not bothering to knock. Both boys looked at her feelings a bit awkward about just having been talking about her.

“Ah, hello Okuyasu dear.” Josuke’s mom was always very friendly and sweet to Okuyasu. Josuke figured it’s cuz she knows Oku hasn’t had a mother figure in a real long time so she tries to be that when she can. “ I’m sorry,did I interrupt an important conversation?”

“No not at all!” Okuyasu said quickly and a little quietly

“Yeah kinda.” Josuke said over him bluntly and kinda irritated “ were talking bout personal stuff “ a small amount of blush grew on Josuke’s cheeks, he felt like a kid, whining to his mom about privacy but he couldn’t help it right now.

Tomoko was obviously trying to read him, she noticed the blush for sure “ ahh, are you telling him about our talk earlier? “

“Yeah, kinda...” Josuke mumbled

“Honey I didn’t think you’d confess to him so soon, I didn’t mean to barge in on THAT kinda talk, I’m sorry dear.” Tomoko said kinda embarrassed herself

“NO MOM NOT THAT TALK!!!!!” Josuke was sputtering his words out frantically, face bright red “WE WERE TALKING ABOUT STANDS MOM NOT THAT WHY WOULD YOU THINK-“ he stopped mid thought and look at Okuyasu who seemed wildly lost trying to keep up with their Conversation. Josuke just hid his face in his hands, this sucks, he can’t even run from this embarrassment he has to just sit here in his hospital bed.

“OH, YOU DIDNT MEAN, I’m sorry josuke.... yes the stand thing you told me about of course that’s what it was, silly me haha well I’ll leave you two to talk about it then!” Tomoko set down the lunch she had made in a chair and hurried out of the room.

“Mom! Don’t leav-!” And with that she was gone.

“Oi, Josuke, I don’t think I followed that conversation too good... what other important stuff did ya tell her since getting put in here?what did ms.Tomoko mean by ‘confess’?” Okuyasu was concerned and confused. “ you know you can talk to me about anything, we’re best bros ya know? Or at least your my best bro... we have lots of fun together and you never make me feel bad about myself, even when you do poke fun at me I can tell ya don’t mean nothing by it. Your the person that I tell almost anything to so-“ Okuyasu was trying to say everything he wanted to before he forgot anything so he was talking a bit fast “ so tell me what’s on your mind dude.”

Josuke’s head was spinning, this isn’t the time or place he wanted this to happen at “I don’t wanna talk about it man, my hairs not even done... it’s nothing bad though! Or- I uh don’t think it is? I hope it’s not...” he force himself to look to his best friend and he tried to smile but his nerves weren’t letting it be a convincing one.

“Dude you can tell me, your hair being done up all pretty ain’t got nothin to do with this so don’t worry, just tell me so I can help!” Okuyasu said in a cheerful manner

“No way! You could hate me, you could laugh at me... a-and the hair matters to me!” Everything was so much right now, too many feelings, fear, embarrassment, physical pain, lots of physical pain actually.

“Hey, Josuke, I couldn’t hate ya... and I won’t laugh, I promise!” Okuyasu gave Josuke a tender look and gently sat on the edge of Josuke’s hospital bed.

“I- I know Oku, I’m just... nervous or maybe scared is the word...but, well you see” Josuke took a breath to collect himself, he looked up at Okuyasu “ Okuyasu, I’m gay... and I- I know your uh not gay but uh I still ended up getting a massive crush on you.” Josuke quickly looked away not wanting to look at what ever reaction Okuyasu was having.

After taking a full minute to process what had just been said to him Okuyasu spoke up “ so like, I ain’t too smart... but you just said that your gay, and you like me? Like, you like like me? Me?” Josuke nodded “ and you ain’t yanking my chain? Cuz if you are-“

“I’m not” Josuke cut him off “ look I know I’m not your type and like it’s ok that you don’t feel the same just can we still be best bros?” His eyes were welling up and tears treated to spill over

“Who the hell said you ain’t my type?” Okuyasu snapped

“Wha-“

“ my type is some who is beautiful and a bad ass! How the hell are you not that? And you assume that I don’t go for guys but you never asked!” Okuyasu was now also at the brink of tears “ Josuke I’ve liked you pretty much as soon as I meet ya! Your just out of my league so I never really tired to make a move...”

Josuke was shocked, tears now freely falling down his face “ but you like girls! You say that my mom is your type and that Reimi is really cute!”

“ so? I do like girls, I like men too, just don’t say it out loud cuz it’ll make everyone uncomfortable... and josuke, your mom is my type and your JUST like your mom... YOU are my type, josuke.” Okuyasu spoke firmly.

“Oku, you like me? Like in a romantic way?” Josuke was almost in shock

“Yeah, I’ve been feeling like that for a long time.” Okuyasu’s face was now covered in blush but he as stayed cool and collected as possible.” So like I don’t know but if we like each other then we should probably start dating right?”

Josuke just started at him for a second, was This happening? He could hardly believe it, up until now he had just assumed that Okuyasu was straight, so this, this was the best possible outcome! “ Oku, as long as your not joking around I’d like nothing more I’d like then to date you... that would make us boyfriends? Right?”

Okuyasu was beaming at the word ‘boyfriends’ “ yeah! Let’s be boyfriends! C-can I hug ya? I know your pretty hurt so that’s why I’m asking.”

Josuke looked down at his side knowing a hug would hurt a lot right now, it made him a bit sad, that it is until a different idea popped into his head. Josuke looked back up to Okuyasu’s adorable face still waiting for a response.

“ you know hugging may not be the best idea right now buuuutttt I think there is something better for us to do “ Josuke said with a devilish grin. Josuke moved over to the edge of the bed

“ here sit next to me” Okuyasu did what he was told and when he had sat down and looked over to Josuke he was leaning in....? ‘ wait is he gonna kiss me?’ And as soon a the thought came in to Okuyasu’s mind sure enough Josuke lips where on his own. Okuyasu’s eyes fluttered shut and he kissed back. It was small and shy, both of them were new to this after all. When they broke apart the kiss they just looked at each other. Taking in everything that was happening, it felt so right.

“I Aint ever been this happy before bro “ Okuyasu hummed quitely.

“Me too” Josuke said as he rested his head on the shorter boys shoulder “ I’m gonna have to thank mom for making us talk about this.“ Oku rested his head on Josuke’s “Yeah, and I’ll have to talk to her about stands! Make sure you didn’t say anything weird about the hand!” He said with such a matter of fact way that Josuke couldn’t help but laugh ‘my boyfriend is too cute’ he thought as they fell into a comfortable silence.

[patronsaint-ofthedenial]

Any thought people have about the band/people who make up their fandom that isn't canon or true is essentially a headcannon-something fandoms that have- and something that forms the basis for fanfiction/fanart.

Look, I understand the aspect of feeling squirmy about writing fanfiction about them, or seeing 'shippy' fanart. But the beauty of online spaces for fandom is that you can avoid content.

So, I really don't see how it's an issue if people do write fanfiction about them or draw art. It's their expression of love for the people in the band.

As long as the works are not taken to the people involved like, 'oh look at this!' it's completely fine. It's important to remember the FICTION aspect of fanfiction. Because no one is claiming that two men from a rock band were having gay relationships. It's a creative outlet!

The internet is a huge place, a couple of human beings writing about the Beatles having gay-relationships with each other isn't going to break anything.

It's simple, Don't Like, Don't Read, or Don't Like, Don't See. But people have to be allowed the freedom to express themselves. It's discouraging to see and be told that 'You're disgusting for fetishizing the beatles'

My intention through this ask wasn't to be rude to you or to make you feel like you are the cause for people to stop being in the fandom. You're not the first person to feel this way about such things and you're most certainly not the last.

You have the absolute right to express your dislike, and so the same courtesy must be extended fanfiction writers and artists.

There's lots of space for both aspects of the fandom to co-exist.

This is not a hate anon, and please do not take it as one, because this was not my intention :)

Have a good day!

Since this anon is written in a more civil manner I'll have the decency of doing the same.

I never meant to police anyone or stir shit in the fandom, and while I know that most people do the shippy stuff in a respectful way, I've seen a lot, and I mean a Lot of people writing paragraphs upon paragraphs trying to prove that mclennon actually happened, jumping to conclusions based on very small details. I have also seen people who are respectful and don't fetishize gay relationships.

My own experience in the fandom has left me rather spiteful and for some time I couldn't really see the Beatles the same way, and it took me a while to be able to enjoy their music again. I avoid the content that made me uncomfortable back in the day and I don't waste my time reading discourse either.

Again, none of my posts are meant to start shit and send attacks to creators, it's mostly just me ranting about my own negative feelings. I was little over a year younger than I am now when I was in the fandom with mostly adults so of course I stumbled upon some stuff I shouldn't have seen, and all the arguing and conspiracy theories kinda ruined it for me.

As for that mclennon joke I made about the satirical art tutorial, it was never meant to be a callout or anything, I was just poking a bit of fun at how a lot of artists seem to draw them. Funnily enough everyone was talking about feminizing Paul, and not about how people draw John way more buff and manly than he actually was. But I didn't even think my silly little joke would end up stirring shit, I meant it as a ha ha funny tag that would get forgotten.

And most of my posts complaining about the fandom aren't about the creators, they're more about the insanity that goes on with people who try to prove that mclennon was real or people who are straight up racist and misogynistic towards Yoko because they wanna blame her for all of John's problems (Yoko wasn't an angel but scapegoating her for everything is just shitty) and of course people who think they're entitled to knowing every bit of personal information about the guys. The shipping is just one thing

This is getting long, but I'm glad we could settle it. I never wanted to attack the fandom or any of the creators in it and I'm sure you didn't mean to attack me either. I can't stop anyone from doing their own thing and I don't engage with the fandom anymore so I don't see the stuff that goes on. I don't know if it's changed in the time I've been away so it might be a completely different community than the one I got to know

Well, good day to you too!

[gautierprotectionsquad]

Sins of the Father by Sam Burns Review (contains spoilers

Book 2 of the Wilde Love Series.

“She threw her hands in the air. “It’s our Pride special, Key, what do you want it to look like? Black cheesecake with a side of blood orange sauce? You wanna go full dark for Pride?” i can name you at least 100 queers who would fucking love this.

Keagan ends up with an fbi agent? Shouldn’t be surprised bc the last book featured a cop but i thought Keagan was going to be the dark sexy badass of the book and he was going to fall for a normal dude.

Personal preference note but not a fan that other than Casey (Liam’s best friend) all of the named women in the last book are straight. I hope this changes. It always feels weird when i’m reading adult queer romance but only men are queer. Like I see even queer authors do this. You can have your women characters dating each other. TJ Klune does it. It just feels weird.

The author, Sam Burns, is a he and lives with his husband and cat. Sam. Write more wlw into this series i beg.

I did my homework so I’m actually going to read this book now. Except i’m supposed to be paying attention to my classmates’ presentation.

I love that Owen loves the cheesecake. Both Quinn boys shitted on the cake bc of the way it looks but thought it tasted heavenly.

I like Brigit but she is a little too concerned over her friend’s dating life. As an ace, I HATE those people.

“And liking guys and eating rainbow cheesecake doesn’t mean I have to like hugging people. Later!” Owen you are 100% right but how is hugging a stereotype? Bc it’s “girly”?

Jon sees the Quinns as the enemy. This series does an exploration of the morally gray, more obvious when it had Alex, philosophy major, as the pov character. It’s interesting seeing how little the fbi knows about the Quinns and interesting that Jon talked to 2 agents who had different opinions on Keagan. I don’t like that book 2 has me with another “person of the law” bc while i can enjoy copaganda in shows, I despise it in books. This isn’t complete copaganda bc moral grayness and the book makes you love the criminals but it still views cops as “good guys”.

Jon and Alex both had their soulmate at their back and heard their voice before they saw their face.

Brigit wanted him out of there at first but I think she ships them now. Yeah. The book points out how annoying it is. Calls it the “oh my god you’re gay you should date my gay friend” look. This book uses its platform to talk about the slight annoyances of having straight friends. Imma shut up now.

I don’t want Jon to succeed in his goal and honestly the story has an easy answer. B Quinn retires. He’s old. His children won’t be his successors. The business he specifically deals in dies with his retirement. There really isn’t any point going after him or putting him in jail. Just let his career die as it will. He’s old with no successors.

I like that Jon has a good relationship with his family. I like Miles. He doesn’t have any friends though so I guess the good relationship with your family thing is just so he has someone to talk to. Liam also had a good relationship with some family but he also had friends so he didn’t talk to his family in the book.

Owen may be demiromantic.

Jon isn’t working the Quinn case anymore so less conflict than before. He’s interested in Quinn and way too honest and upfront.

This man flirted with you a tiny bit once and you switch assignments and try to ask him out. Like i would expect a little bit more flirting to happen before you go that far.

I don’t know how to feel about Jon just yet...I just realized his name is spelled like jon sims. Book made the mistake of telling me he was fbi. I liked Liam before i knew he was a cop so i could set my irl morals aside for a fictional character.

One thing i like about these books which seems it’s going to be a pattern for at least the first two books in the series is the lack of drama. Two characters decide they have feelings for each other and then nothing gets in between them.

Hmm. so the fbi and Jon and Jon’s family don’t care that Jon is dating Keagan but his dad does care that Keagan is dating an agent.

If Jon finds his job boring, why can’t he just quit? They don’t respect him and limit what he’s allowed to do bc he’s gay anyway. Just quit. Make the smart move that Liam didn’t. But if he quits then there wouldn’t be any *conflict*. Except Jon’s morals. I love these books but i’m GLAD the next one isn’t going to have a “person of the law” in it.

“I know Jenna said no PDA, but as it turns out, I’m the guy who owns the place.”

Ok their date at Wildes was super cute.

Oh i forgot an ex of Keagan’s was going to cause drama. Ick. i hate ex drama.

Keagan is so cute. He BLUSH! He blush hard!

Jon’s brother is ACE!! I knew I liked him. (Em/Miles)

This book is ok but I’m more excited to read the next book. It was through book 3 that i found this series. From the description, I think Brian is a sex repulsed ace which is AWESOME. Also, it’s clear this author did their research (if they aren’t ace themselves) bc “He’s had it, and he says it’s okay, but it’s not something he cares about. It’s like doing the dishes because you’re supposed to.” is an accurate description!

I’m headcannoning miles as autistic.

MILES AND BRIGIT ARE FLIRTING. Good. i like both of them.

Ok i like Jon now. Hearing about how shitty all Keagan’s exes were makes Jon look perfect.

Oh. Apparently his dad has hated every boyfriend of Keagans. Usually Keagan would agree and the relationship would eventually die out. But Jon was the first time he told his dad to fuck off with that shit.

Jon and Keagan have good chemistry. It took a bit to get there. I think it strongly helps that this author knows how to write jokes. The lovers being able to joke with each other and make each other laugh themselves silly and smile till it hurts is a strong contender for illustrating how perfect they are together.

So is Jon not going to tell him what he found just so he doesn’t seem like a creep? It was his coworker who suggested and looked him up anyway. It would be good for Keagan to know.

I hate every single one of Keagan’s exes.

Ugh Phil. Shut up go away i hate you.

“You’re thinking about having sex with him right now, aren’t you?” Phil asked. He looked annoyed.

“No?” Keegan couldn’t keep the smile from his face. “Maybe.”

REALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD! OH MY GOD Phil’S LITERALLY EATING A SALAD IN THIS SCENE!

“I’m giving you something Phil’s never had.” What? Your undivided attention?sdfrgthydwfg. (have i been spelling Keegan’s name wrong this whole time?)

Is english major guy Brian? No his name’s Javi Bennet.

Keagan’s face is so easy to read. I can’t believe he used to be a gangster.

Mickey might be demisexual. This is based on nothing except he’s been in an on again off again relationship with a girl since middle school and he ends up with one of his closest friends.

Surprised Keagan didn’t talk to Jon about the guilt he still feels over that child’s death years ago and that they never talk about his disabled arm.

Keagan is a little dumb and surprisingly too trusting but I love that for him.

Anyway, like the last book the last words were “i love you” plus for both it was the first i love you.

END.

[thecaffeinebookwarrior]

Hello! Quick question, do you have any resources/tips for writing hateful/mean dialogue? I'm having more trouble with this than I thought I would. Thanks :D

Hello!  Off the top of my head, I can think of a few: 

1.  Allow conflict to escalate and then explode. 

Unless one of your characters is entering the discussion raging mad about this-that-or-the-other, your dialogue will likely start somewhat placid and escalate from there.  

For example: 

“Um.  Sandy,” said Leon, voice carefully level.  “Can we talk?” 

“Sure!  What about, man?”  said Sandy, smiling pleasantly at his friend. 

“I, um.  Feel silly even asking you this, but uh…”  Leon chuckled awkwardly, then took a deep, steadying breath through his nostrils.  “Did you…have sex with my father?”

Sandy blinked, then let out a nervous bray of laughter.  “Wha-ha-hat ever gave you that idea, bro?” 

Leon’s eyes widened.  “You DID!”

“What?  No I didn’t!”  

“Yes, you did!”  cried Leon, pointing a finger at him.  “You only do that stupid laugh when you’re caught in a lie!  You totally did!  YOU BANGED MY DAD!”

Sandy opened his mouth to protest, then closed it in resignation.  “Okay, look.  Daniel and I were both drunk, it was a mistake…” 

“OH MY GOD!”  Leon clapped a hand over his mouth.  “You fucking bastard.  My parents are getting a divorce now!”  

“Look, it isn’t my fault your dad can’t keep it in his fucking pants!”  Sandy snapped.  “And if your mom knew how to please a man, he wouldn’t have had to get his rocks off in me anyway.” 

“Son of a BITCH!”  Without thinking, Leon balled his fist and sent it flying.  

Okay, never mind the subject matter.  See the escalation there?  Though there’s tension at the beginning of the discussion, both characters are calm, which makes it more interesting (and in a weird way, rewarding) when one finally explodes.

Even if one of your characters is entering the discussion angry, there will likely be a period in which their companion tries to placate them before they finally give in and it devolves into a proper, two-sided fight.  

Let’s return to another scenario of Sandy and Leon’s personal drama to see what I mean:  

“SON OF A BITCH!”  roared Leon, storming into his shared dorm room.  “YOU SLEPT WITH MY FUCKING DAD!” 

Sandy, who had been reclined on the sofa reading a book, scrambled into an upright sitting position.  “Wha-ha-hat?  No I didn’t!” 

“Yes you did,” Leon fumed, face tomato red.  “You’re doing that stupid laugh you only do when you’re lying!”

“Look, Lee, I swear -” 

“TELL ME THE FUCKING TRUTH, SANDY.” 

The two stared at each other for a moment, before Sandy ducked his head sheepishly.  “Okay, look, Daniel and I were drunk, it was a mistake -” 

“YOU BASTARD.”

“Lee, I’m sorry-”

“YOU MOTHERFUCKING BASTARD!  MY PARENTS ARE GETTING A DIVORCE NOW!”

“Oh, for God’s sake-YOUR FATHER’S FUCKING GAY, LEON!”  Sandy snapped, rolling his eyes.  “And it’s none of my business, I know, but I really have a hard time picturing that a heterosexual woman, AND A FUCKING GAY MAN, ever had marriage of year!” 

Leon’s face turned an interesting shade of purple.  “Why you LITTLE…” 

“He should have been able to keep it in his pants anyways,” Sandy sneered.  “And if your mom knew how to please a man, he wouldn’t have needed to get his rocks off elsewhere.” 

That was the last straw.  Leon balled his fist and sent it flying.

I’ve been watching altogether too many reality TV shows lately, but you get the point:  conflict, of any sort, escalates until it simmers down or explodes.  

2.  Selectively use synonyms for ‘said.’ 

Contrary to popular belief, said isn’t dead.  However, antonyms can be great mood setters.  

For creating a snappy, hateful, angry mood, try synonyms like this:

Snapped

Barked

Roared

Fumed

Argued

Taunted

Hissed

Cursed

Swore

Challenged

Seethed

Shouted

Snarled

Bellowed

Growled

Sneered 

Just don’t overdo it, or you’ll end up looking like that one scene from My Immortal.  Yeah, you know the one: 

3.  Allow for pointed jabs.  

In arguments, even with loved ones, we sometimes say hurtful things with or without meaning them.  

When one of your characters is angry with the other, and I mean really angry, they may not be above pointing out their insecurities in a heated moment.  

This can be treated as comedic fodder in some instances (i.e. generally anything related to erectile dysfunction and feigned orgasms), but in others, it can get genuinely hurtful and heartbreaking.  

Let’s say you’re dealing with two characters, one of whom has abandonment issues.  Maybe the other knows this, and is generally supportive.  However, in a very heated argument, they may reach for it as a weapon.  

For example:

“For God’s sake, Michael, it’s one o’clock in the morning!”  cried Lisa, as her drunken husband staggered in the door.  “It’s your son’s seventh birthday today!  Did you really think now was the best time to have a guy’s night out with your poker buddies!?”

“Not now, Lise. I wanna sleep,” Michael slurred, dumping his gym bag in the corner and staggering towards the stairs.

“NO,” snapped Lisa, grabbing his shoulder and spinning him to face her.  “No, Mike.  You don’t get to leave without talking about this.”

“Ugh.  Why do you always gotta be like this, Lisa,”  Michael groaned, temples throbbing.  

“Don’t you dare try and play the victim here!  Do you think my afternoon’s been easy?  I had to look at his little face, and tell him his daddy loved vodka more than-”

“DAMMIT, LISA!”  Michael barked suddenly.  “This is why your dad left, you know that!?  You just can’t help but drive men away.”

Lisa recoiled as though she’d been stung.  Michael felt a sick wave of satisfaction deep in his gut that he knew he’d be ashamed of once he was sober. 

“Go to hell, Mike,” whispered Lisa.  Tears pricked her eyes as she turned and hurried out of the room.

Mike’s an asshole, but you get the point.  Also note that this exchange follows the same pattern of escalation I mentioned earlier.

These kinds of jabs can take really any number of forms for anyone with a shared history:  past instances of adultery, poor financial decisions, bad parenting, or mistakes made in adolescence can all become canon fodder in a harsh altercation.  The better the people know each other, the better they’ll know their week spots.  

That’s why folks who don’t know each other all that well will usually settle for jabs at one another’s parentage, sexual histories, et cetera to try to get a rise out of them.

In a very hateful dialogue, usually delivered as hate speech from a bigoted stranger, this could also involve slurs towards the person’s sexuality, race, or gender, or falling back on harmful stereotypes to try and hurt the party in question;  they know that it’s a sore spot for them, and they want to hurt them as much as possible with it.

(It’s worth noting here, however, that if you are White, I would recommend against using racial slurs in your writing, just as if you’re straight you may not want to use words like “dyke” or “f*ggot” out of respect for your readers.  That’s just my opinion, however, and not everyone will agree with me on this one.)

I really hope this helps, and happy writing!  

[buildarocketboys]

WIPs

List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on: writing, art, gifsets, whatever.

@thealpacalypse tagged me!! thank you buddy!!

1. Queer Berlin (nanowrimo project - TV screenplay)

My nanowrimo project. It has three main storylines atm (for the first season, as I’m writing it as a TV screenplay), the first one involving Michael and Thomas, who are sex workers in 1920s Berlin. Michael is super political and outspoken and very gay (and in love with Thomas), Thomas is less confident, moved t Berlin/became a sex worker to support his family, is convinced he’s straight/is repressing his sexuality but is slowly falling in love with Michael, his best friend. Things come to a head when his family back home fall on hard times due to the Great Depression of 1929 and he decides to blackmail one of his clients, which, uh, doesn’t go down very well with outspoken gay rights activist Michael.

Storyline number 2 is about Erika, a trans woman who works in a department store. She’s just starting to come to terms with her identity/feel more comfortable presenting more feminine, and is able to do so at work to some extent, and is sometimes able to model female clothes for customers. She also finds a place to belong in the queer nightlife of Berlin, but as the series progresses she becomes more and more certain that she wants to transition as much as possible to living as a woman, including surgically, leading her to try to get in touch with pioneering sexologist Magnus Hirschfeld.

Storyline number 3 is about Clara and Franzi, girlfriends in a long-term relationship. Franzi wants to take it to the next level and move in together, and is starting to tire of the lack of obvious commitment from her girlfriend. Clara adores her girlfriend, although she adores theatre (and Anita Berber) possibly even more - she’s autistic and it’s a special interest. She also works in the theatre. Clara wants to take the next step too, sort of, but she’s scared of what her strict, judgemental, conservative parents might say/that they might guess what’s going on, as well as a whole lot of other things that might change when they move in together.

Hopefully all these characters will meet and interact and their storylines will cross over, I’m excited about it but also very bad at writing this year, because I have a full time job and other fic priorities, woops. (If you wanna talk about it that would be really great though, I wanna be more inspired/motivated lol). Which brings me on to...

2. nobody knows me at home anymore (black sails big bang fic)

This is my biggest priority atm tbh, since it’s due for the end of the month/start of Dec and other people are involved so it’s like...more of an important deadline lol. I’m hoping to get it mostly finished this weekend, it’s just over 15,000 words atm, which is probably the longest thing I’ve ever written, certainly in such a short space of time (see, this is why I never win Nano!) It’s about Abigail retuning to Charlestown after Flint has destroyed it and finding documents from her father’s house proving Thomas is still alive. She decides to search for him and get him released from the plantation but is stopped by her father’s men, who imprison her in the house. Meanwhile, Thomas and James start a new life, and Thomas meets his old nanny, who was pretty much the only person who ever showed him love and affection during his childhood.Eventually Abigail finds them, months after they’ve escaped the plantation, and she is pregnant., and they all have to deal with the consequences of everything that has happened.And that’s basically a summary of the entire fic, lol, hopefully the actual thing reads much better. 

3. Silly Wrong But Vivid Right (black sails fic)

Yes I am still working on this! I have most of chapter 4 written now, I just need to type it up and finish it. No idea where I’ll go with it after this chapter, but ah well. Chapter 4 is the longest and most action-packed so far, so look out for that, I guess! Dunno if I’ll get it typed up this weekend, but we’ll see.

4. autistic!james is a cook fic (not actual title, lol, black sails fic)

James is a chef in Padstow. Thomas is a customer at the restaurant who keeps sending his compliments to the chef on the great food. It’s gonna be very cute and fluffy, and James is gonna be as autistic as fuck.

5. untitled doc martin fic

I finally succumbed today and decided to write doc martin fic. The basic premise I’m working on is Martin questioning if when Louisa says she doesn’t want James to be ‘shy’ or ‘not know how to socialise’, she’s really saying that she doesn’t want James to be like him. Hopefully gonna lead to autistic!Martin and autistic!James, but I might write a little series of fics, if my interest keeps up lol.

God this was long, sorry! I tried to keep it to WIPs that I’m actually currently working on/thinking about, but apprently, that’s still quite a lot. 

Tagging @bisexualpirateheart @complaininginthedark @copper-toned @brightbluedot @lyledebeast @breefraser and @ anyone else doing nanowrimo who I’ve added as a buddy, or who I haven’t! (Feel free to add me on there, same username!)

[evilback-wards]

Day 1( don't. Read it's crap)

Heart Shaped Box prompt for Chemical Warfare Babies

… . .

…

.

Bing.

Surrounding Colline were suits. Large suits that had their cuffs tucked in. And the suits and Colline were in a carbon copy of the Oval Office: the assumed pinnacle of governmental grout.  Whispers were beginning to become full on conversations, mixing joy and hatred to copulate bureaucracy. The room was made with the construction of the original Oval Office in mind: wooden furnishings with uncomfortable couches, yellow curtains, flags from the galaxys’ visiting for todays discussion, old paintings from Earth, and, per the tradition of the planet, vibrate velvet blue fur to keep temperatures warm.

“You know, these humans didn’t know shit. They just existed. It’s kind of adorable,” says a suit, blue one—cuffs hidden by the darkness naturally exuded by their species. Blue dark suit darkness speaks to flapper imitator. The flapper imitator has the roaring 20’s down to the overabundance of happiness before a terrible downfall.

“So much can be learned from them! I’m excited for the fanfare that’s promised for today. Planet 00242192 always has the best shows,” flapper imitator said, fanning itself with some nearby wind. Ah—Colline was just about done dolling herself up for the show. Colline was a suit but also rare personnel that practiced the Earth culture seriously.

There was no light speed fast enough, quick enough, hurried enough to get the Earth stockholders into a room quicker than today. There was an e-mail that was pushed out that stressed the importance of everyone answering her communication. And the stockholders knew not to fudge their chance to speak to their cash cow—and came dressed for the occasion.

Besides flapper imitator, darkness creator, logic deeper, power steeper, gravel keeper, and naval peeker went more for tropes for their manifestations. Ones physical manifestations can leave a lot to be desired if chosen incorrectly on a planet. Colline was a tough customer—judging critically based on ones physical manifestations. It could be assumed that Colline would buy your stock just for matching the wrong century of sock with hair piece.

There was a long allotment for sound in English chatter, allowing the awkward language to leave from whatever orifice the creature utilized for speaking.  Colline stayed silent. Colline was listening for the truth, whatever that may be.

But, once Colline started tapping on the large light box, which triggered the lighting in the room to be lowered completely, people hushed themselves. It was now time for the show.

Dear Diary:

I had sex with a lot of people today. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that. But people forgive pretty easily, right? People will pass you on the street and forgive you for uglying the landscape? People will nod to you even when they are disgusting by the stench of your existence? Remember, if someone holds their nose against their clothing, you’re repulsive. You need to leave them right away. Humans have a tendency of keeping things too nice. Don’t be that way. If you hate someone let them know right away. So the proper fighting can happen. I’ve been dragged along the concrete too long with so many of my clients. They claim I’m ‘love at first sight’ when it’s really ‘cum at first sight’.

Not to knock my knack of doing things to sexually stimulate the creatures, but it gets tiring. Suck Suck. Fuck Fuck. It becomes natural. I am natural. So, I guess I talked myself out of feeling guilty for being an escort—yay! Now I can move on to write more interesting things.

My latest conquest is of someone at my same level. His name is CJ(god knows what that stands for) Byrant. He enjoys escorts as much as anyone. He runs through about fifty every seven days(a week!) and pays each of them handsomely to keep their mouths shut. I heard the last escort that tried to make a scandal happened became the next murder mystery scandal. Ah—I love me a good scandal! That person is dead because they spoke improperly. This person is tortured for being too honest. I love scandals! They are the hole to human virtue.

This is getting rambly, but since it’s MY DIARY, I can be rambly. Hm. New conquest: CJ Byrant likes his escorts like he likes his government: easy to leave in the late afternoon and hard to come in during the mornings. Get it? Yeah—a gay joke I think that was. But that’s just not any type of gay joke—it’s a funny one! I hope. Is my existence making you want to kill yourself yet? If so, I apologize, if not, what is wrong with you? I am extremely cringy and filled with too much hope. The best I have to aspire for is waking up with fresh egg whites on my tits. Maybe there’s a druggie cig hanging from my lower lip that CJ takes drags out of sometimes. I hope I’m good enough to be a night escort. Those are the best—the people make you breakfast usually and ask if that’s how humans would do it. The best thing about humans is that you just don’t know what they would do—they’re born with their own will and predetermined set of ignorance. It’s so cute!

Anyway, I am struggling right now. CJ Byrant is a tough cookie. I’ve been making sure my ass is in the perfect view of his eyesight. But he just clears his throat or insists that “he’ll get that”. What type of government official does he think he is? That’s really silly, you know, to have this façade of being such a respectful man only to turn out to be the kind of guy that needs to cum twice in your eyes and scrub your face into the concrete and call you his long lost rapist. Whoops. Secrets are being let out tonight. I apologize.

CJ Byrant thinks me being an Earth-informed person makes it okay. It makes him okay to treat me like a human male but—hold it—he doesn’t reap the benefits of having such an Earth-human-whore to push around. I could be his little blow doll. My mouth is already open way too often. That’s why I pay men to close it with their intimates. Or sometimes with an object or five if they’re feeling excitable that day.

I love being this whore life has made me to be. It’s easy, easy money, easy way of living. I just can’t think too hard or I’ll burst into tears. Ahh!—Thinking should hurt me! I wish each time I had a critical thought someone hit me upside the head with a brick. I shouldn’t be allowed to think—no, never—thinking is bad. These guys, when they look for escorts, look for the dumbest and best manifested. I need to retain my own view of my life as much as possible. I can’t let CJ treat me like the garden tool I am. Now I’m making puns—I must be reaching critical mass of funnies.

Ahh, it’s been nice writing this, but around now, I need to make a bad decision. Just like the cycle of abuse, a clock, a never-ending cycle of wander and blunders, I must do something completely terrible. Because that’s how Earth-human-whores act. And I love being an Earth-human-whore.

 The lights come back. The suits are struggling to retain a boisterous laughter. The suits flicker into manifestations of humans, a nice spread between the centuries. Colline smiles as she raises her digital grey camera.

“God, that was hoot! The girl is so brain-dead she can’t even keep secrets out of her diary! It’s like her vagina wrote the entire thing,” Flapper imitator says, with her lips out. Smoke drags itself past her lips and into the Oval Offices’ space. Other creatures struggle to retain their laughter and comments. Colline remains silent, snapping pictures of everyone at their moments of happiness, dressed down in their humanoid dresses. Their barcodes showing—oh sweet barcodes! These are important. I’ll explain why they’re important.

 Barcodes are assigned to every creature created on the planet known as 00242192. The English pronunciation of the numerical expression is often shortened as Capital Pra. Pra is a weird name, isn’t it, for this shit to be occurring on? With blue velvet carpet to be in a Oval Office to keep up temperature—because—humans are too stupid to find out how to work machines to heat them better.

Barcodes, okay, back to the point. Barcodes are assigned to anyone born on this planet as a discreet and personal number. Buuuut. Because anything created is sentient and has their own free will, and to keep privacy up, the placements of the barcode is random. Sometimes you’re lucky and its on your left ass check if you ever manifest an ass cheek. Issue one: Sometimes you’ll manifest and manifest and you can’t find the barcode of yours for the life of you. Issue two: If you don’t know what the fuck your barcode is, well, you’re screwed.  Your mark as a Triple O’ 9 and told to fuck off into the darkness. You’re labeled as uncooperative in this nook of the galaxy or universe or whatever you wanna see this place as.

Barcodes are an arrangements of lines from 5 cm to 5 inches that can be as short as 2 and as long as fifty on ones body. What—why are people born with these—the best answer I can give you is that that’s just how the machine works. And no one knows why. Maybe no one wants to know why. But anyway.

Barcodes are used to keep track of the population and employment of people born on Pra. And, to be more culturally sensitive, what percentage of people follow what culture. As a new born jelly mass, you don’t know anything. You don’t even know that your jelly form is offensive as you’re basically just a naked new born baby without culture! SO, let’s review:

1.Born as a jelly with a barcode

2. Get culture

3. ???

4. You live until you die under your cultures conditions

Sounds simple, but people like to make it complicated as shit. Like, who the hell even wants to stick to one culture? Who would want to? Even subcultures of your culture get boring. So many people just up and switch cultures when it gets close to their time. Some beings born with 3 barcodes still exist because they’re “lifers” for culture.

[boku-no-family]

2000 Followers Event Prompts

Please send me either of the following

→ Letter + Prompt Number + Character [e.g. B + 3 + Shouto]

→ Prompt + Character [e.g.  „I heard you crying loud.“ – „You’ve been thinking about ditching me.“ + Bakugou]

The character limit is one, I’m going to make it a reader insert. I’m trying to keep it gender neutral if you want a female or a male reader please add it to your ask. I’m willing to write for ships as well, you only need to tell me. I assume you guys all read my rules ;) but I’m still not writing for the teachers. 

Enjoy ✨

Lots of love❤ Lin

P.s.: If you’ve got any questions ask me anytime!😊

A

„You ain’t no lady but you’ve sure got taste in men.“ – „But I’ve been told by friends of mine you’re someone I can trust.“ (AC/DC - Carry Me Home)

„You say you want the truth, but you can’t take it. So I give you lies.“ – „I won’t apologize to you anymore. Cause I’m a grown-ass man.“ (Adam Lambert – There I Said it)

„Everybody loves the things you do. From the way you talk to the way you move“ - „My God, this reminds me. Of when we were young.“  (Adele – When we Were Young)

„I don’t want to hurt you but I need to breathe!“ -  „At the end of it all, you’re still my best friend.“  (Alex Clare – Too Close)

„I’m getting sick of your bullshit attitude.“ – „Do you want me. Or do you want me dead?“ (All Time Low – Do You Want Me (Dead)?)

„Tell me how am I supposed to breathe. When losing you is choking me?“ – „I still remember that empty look left on your face.“ (The All-American Rejects – Heartbeat Slowing Down)

„I’m so into you, I can barely breathe.“ – „A little bit dangerous, but, baby, that’s how I want it.“ (Ariana Grande – Into You)

„I want to show you who I really am.“ – „I wanna get to know you, talk all night.“ (Aura Dione – Masterpiece)

B

„Add on that I’m a coward. Too scared to return your calls.“ – „Despite how silly it sounds. You’re bigger. Than me.“ (Backstreet Boys – Bigger)

„And you said you always had my back.“ – „I don’t wanna hear you talk about it anymore.“ (Bastille – Bad Blood)

„Who the fuck do you think I am?“ – „And keep your money, I’ve got my own.“ (Beyoncé – Don’t Hurt Yourself)

„I really want you to really want me, but I really don’t know if you can do that.“ – „And you’re listening to the sound of my breaking heart.“ – (James Blunt – I Really Want You)

„For the love of god, will you bite your tongue.“ – „I think it’s time you knew the truth.“ – (Bring Me The Horizon – Go To Hell, For Heaven’s Sake.)

„Don’t believe me just watch.“ – „Gotta kiss myself I’m so pretty.“ (Bruno Mars – Uptown Funk)

„Don’t try and heal me when I’m broken.“ – „This might be hard to hear.“ (Bullet For My Valentine – Broken)

C

„It’s way too soon, I know this isn’t love.“ – „But I need to tell you something.“ (Carly Rae Jepsen – Really Like You)

„I only got 10 likes in the last 5 minutes.“ – „Let me take another selfie.“ (The Chainsmokers - #Selfie)

„Don’t you ever say I just walked away.“ – „I will always want you.“ (Miley Cyrus – Wrecking Ball)

D

„There are so many things that I don’t understand.“ – „I’ve been, for sometime, looking for someone.“ (Daft Punk  - Within)

„Leave him alone, let him go!“ – „Only you can stop the pain.“ (David Guetta – Used To Be The One)

„Can’t you act your age“ - „It’s not my fault you’ll never be happy.“ (A Day To Remember – Best Of Me)

„And all that I want is forgiveness one more time.“ – „To be the best in the world.“ (Disturbed – Just Stop)

E

„Maybe you could swing by my room around 10:00.“ – „Don’t fuck with my love.“ (Ed Sheeran – Don’t)

„You shoot me once, you shoot me twice.“ – „Let me show you what I’m talking about.“ (Enrique Iglesias)

„I’m on my own.“ – „I think I’m falling and there’s no return.“ (Enter Shikari – One True Colour)

F

„I’m just a notch in your bedpost.“ – „I’ve been dying to tell you anything you want to hear.“ (Fall Out Boy – We’re Going Down)

“Everyone knows I'm in over my head,  with eight seconds left in overtime” –  “She's on your mind" (The Fray – Over my Head (Cable Car)) 

G

„All that I remember is that you had me at hello.“ – „What happened? Did it happen? Last night.“ (Good Charlotte – Last Night)

„I heard you crying loud.“ – „You’ve been thinking about ditching me.“ (Green Day – When I come around)

H

„Baby just don’t close your heart.“ – „It’s all going wrong.“ (HIM – Don’t close your Heart)

I

Come with me and we will run away.“ – „I am all you adore, lately.“ (Imagine Dragons – Hear Me)

J

„If you don’t want me to leave then don’t push me away.“ – „I’m gonna stay.“ (James Morrison – Dont Wanna Love Me)

„How much I adore those pretty eyes of yours.“ – „Can you love me for a lifetime or just one night.“ (Jennifer Lopez – Baby I Love You)

„I’m gonna be good so tell me that you’re gonna be good too.“ – „I’m gonna treat you right.“ (Jonas Brothers – BB Good)

„'Cause I’m missing more than just your body.“ – „I know you know that I made those mistakes maybe once or twice.“ (Justin Bieber – Sorry)

„Beautiful smile with those sad eyes.“ – „I don’t know why you’d leave me alone.“ (Justin Timberlake – Amnesia)

“ Damn you hold me just how I like it” –  “ I never thought that I would see you again” (Jessie J  –  Real Deal)

K

„You’re so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal.“ – „You’re so skinny you should really Super Size the deal.“ (Katy Perry – Ur So Gay)

„Never thought that you would be the one.“ – „Maybe you shouldn’t Kiss ‘n’ tell.“ (Ke$ha – Kiss N Tell)

L

„I just want you alone“ - „It wasn’t love, it wasn’t love.“ (Lady Gaga – Perfect Illusion)

„You say that you are proud of me.“ – „You’re not the one that you pretend to be.“ (Linkin Park – Pretend To Be)

„Forget that boy, I’m over it.“ – „Guess I should say thank you.“ (Little Mix – Shout Out To My Ex)

M

When I’m without you. I’m so insecure.“ – „Don’t let nobody touch it. Unless that somebody’s me.“ (Maroon 5 – Sugar)

„I have the loves of many men. But I don’t love any of them.“  - „Why do you cheat on me?“ (Metallica – Cheat On Me)

„I got a bulletproof heart.“ – „Let me be the one to save you.“ (My Chemical Romance – Bulletproof Heart)

N

„And my heart feels a fool.“ – „Can’t stop thinking of you, cause I’m so jealous, baby.“ ( New Kids on the Block – Jealous)

“What do I see in you?” – “Maybe I'm addicted to all the things you do” (Nicki Minaj – Grand Piano)   

“Pills n potions were overdosing” – “I'm angry but I still love you” (Nicki Minaj – Pills and Potions) 

O

„I can only be myself.“ – „I’ll never forget you.“ (Olly Murs – Tryna change me)

„But you confuse me.“ – „I said babe do you want to take it fast or slow?.“(OneRepublic – The Less I Know)

P

„Do I look lonely?“ – „Am I the best you’ve ever had?“ (Panic! At The Disco – Death of a Bachelor)

„Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back.“ – „I cannot take any more.“ (P!nk – Stupid Girls)

„I know you like me.“ – „Let’s keep it friendly.“ (The Pussycat Dolls – Don’t Cha)

„Hate is a strong word.“ – „Thought you thought that I was worth it.“ (Plain White T’s –Hate Really Don’t Like You)

Q

„The Show must go on.“ – „Inside my heart is breaking.“ (Queen – The Show Must Go On)

R

„I forgot your birthday.“ – „I’m a mess.“ (The Rasmus – I’m A Mess)

„But we haven’t kissed for four days.“ – „If we go down, we’re going down together.“ (Robin Schulz – Titanic)

„I’m no good without you.“ – „Just love me.“ (Rihanna – Love On The Brain)

„Why are you not afraid?“ – „I have learned to stand up and just to walk away.“ (Rise Against – Beautiful Indifference)

„Come in and close the door.“ – „But now you know me so you know that I’d be lying.“ (Robbie Williams – Motherfucker)

S

„You say I’m crazy.“ – „I know I’m not the only one.“ (Sam Smith – Not The Only One)

„Why do you say things. If you do not mean them.“ – „And now I can’t sleep.“ (Shakira – Cut Me Deep)

„I’m talking to myself.“ – „Forgot what I just said.“ (Sum 41 – All Messed Up)

T

„You look like my next mistake.“ – „'Cause, darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.“ (Taylor Swift – Blank Space)

„I never sleep.“ – „I wish I knew what it was like.“ (Three Days Grace – I Am Machine)

„I am not as fine as I seem, pardon.“ – „The game is not played alone.“ (Twenty One Pilots – Migraine)

U

„I swear to tell the truth.“ – „But I guess my love wasn’t good enough.“ (Usher – Guilty)

V

„Did you say the thing you wanted?“ – „Have you ever felt in love?“ (Volbeat – Goodbye Forever)

W

„You’re only looking for attention.“ – „What do you expect now?“ (The Weeknd – Attention)

„Listen to Iron Maiden maybe with me?“ – „And he doesn’t give a damn about me.“ (Wheatus – Teenage Dirtbag)

Z

„I’d love to wake up next to you.“ – „So we’ll piss off the neighbors.“ (Zayn Malik – Pillowtalk)

“I know that we were made to break” –   “So what? I don't mind” (Zedd  –  Stay the Night) 

[phanwritings]

Not Jealous

Tittle: Not Jealous

Summary: Dan has a crush on his best friend, who has a girlfriend.

Word Count: 1.7K

Warnings/Triggers: None!

A/N: I just wrote this? Also the ending cut off kinda weird bc I didn't want to write smut lol

*

Dan was aggravated. He was aggravated because his best friend since he was nine years old has all of a sudden decided to stand him up. And why did he decide to stand him up? Because he wanted to shove his tongue down some girl's throat. Dan didn't even know when they started dating, it was all of a sudden. Phil just came over one day and told Dan that he had a girlfriend and that he had apparently liked her for weeks. Dan called bullshit, but he would never tell Phil that.

Dan wouldn't even mind him dating her if Phil didn't change so drastically overnight. All of a sudden it was all about her and Dan was pushed to the side. Well, kind of. Dan just didn't like sharing Phil with someone. That's it. If Dan was jealous it was just because he wanted to spend time with her best friend. Obviously. Nobody would like that.

Dan got pulled out of his thoughts when  he saw Phil jogging towards to him, clearly out of breath and panting. "How nice of you to come," Dan said snarkily.

Phil rested against the wall that Dan was leaning against, clutching his stomach. "Sorry, I totally forgot," Phil said.

"Oh that makes me feel so better," Dan said bitterly. He was considering just going into the movies without Phil and refusing to sit next to him. He wanted to get revenge on him.

"I said sorry!" Phil defended. "Talia can be very convincing. Makes a guy forget things."

"Like his best friend?" Dan asked, not wanting to hear Phil talk about his girlfriend any more than he already did.

"Apparently," Phil admitted. "Sorry."

"Just don't do it again," Dan was still mad at him but he was getting over it quickly enough. "Shall we go watch this movie?"

"Yeah!" Phil said, following Dan into the movies. "I hear its absolute shit."

Dan laughed, buying his ticket and quickly stepping into the concessions line while waiting for Phil. Phil joined him and they both bought a popcorn and a soda. It was their daily routine to go to the movies every Friday after school. They both loved movies and had no homework on Fridays so it was a perfect evening. Sometimes they would have a sleepover on Fridays too but it just depended on how tired they were.

Dan glanced at his best friend in the darkened theater. He took in how he looked. Phil's eyes were trained on the screen. Dan took in how soft his skin looked and how his hair fell in his eyes. Sure, maybe Dan was a little aggravated that Phil had a girlfriend. Maybe it was because he was jealous. Maybe he knew that too, but maybe he didn't want to think about it.

*

This was the second time in two weeks that Phil had stood him up, and Dan was getting fed up. It was Friday again and this time they were seeing Spiderman again. Dan had bought some candy boxes from the store and had brought them in his messenger bag for them to share. They really only bought popcorn once a month because it was so much more expensive and they were two broke high school boys.

Dan was considering just going home before he caught sight of Phil once again running towards the building. He adopted the most pissed off look he could muster, hoping Phil would pick up in how irritated he truly was.

"I'm so sorry, just lost track of time -" Phil started but Dan cut him off.

"Save it," Dan stalked off into the building, buying his ticket and walking towards the theater, knowing that Phil was following. Dan just walked to their normal seats and sat down. Phil followed, sitting down next to him and clearly regretting being late once again. The pre-trailers were playing and Dan was putting all of his energy into pretending that they were the most interesting thing he had ever seen.

"Dan, really, I'm really sorry I just completely lost track of time," Phil tried to explain again. "We were making out and I clearly didn't keep track of time. But to be fair you can't blame me, if you were making out with somebody you'd lose track of time too. Trust me, it's the best thing -" Dan cut him off again.

"I really don't want to hear about you making out with your girlfriend, Phil," Dan said quietly.

"Well, why not?" He questioned. Dan couldn't really answer Phil's question. Phil had had girlfriends before and had always talked about what they did in great detail. In fact, Dan was the first, and probably only, person to hear about how Phil lost his virginity. It was just different now. Dan shrugged.

"It's just that it's different now," Dan said. Trying to keep as much of the truth hidden as he could. "I just don't want to talk about everything now."

"Why? What's changed? Are you jealous or something?" Phil asked, clearly really trying to figure out what was wrong with Dan. But Dan couldn't blame him for trying to make feel better and talk it out. Dan would do for Phil, he was his best friend after all.  The problem was that Dan was jealous. But not of Phil, of his girlfriend. Dan just nodded and hoped Phil would just drop the topic. He had no such luck.

"Why are you jealous? Just because you've never had a girlfriend doesn't mean anything. You'll find a girl eventually." Phil tried to comfort him. It didn't work.

"I don't want to talk to about it," Dan said, digging in his bag and handing Phil his candy.

Phil didn't protest.

*

"I've come up with a master plan!" Phil announced as he bombarded into Dan's room. Dan was shocked, pulling his bed covers up closer on instinct.

"Why are you here?" Dan asks, rubbing his eyes. Phil had woken him up when he burst into his room.

"I came up with a master plan! Didn't you hear?" Phil responded.

"I did hear, I was just busy sleeping," Dan grumbled. "What is your 'master plan' anyways?"

"I do not appreciate the air quotes around master plan, Daniel Howell. And it's to help you get a girlfriend!" Phil seemed excited about this. Dan wanted to groan.

"I don't want a girlfriend, Phil. I want to go back to sleep," Dan sighed, rolling onto his back and closing his eyes. He felt Phil settle by his thighs and moved his legs so that he would have more room.

"Of course you do, you said so yourself. Your jealous. Not that there is anyone to be, just because you haven't done loads doesn't mean anything. Society puts a lot of pressure onto guys and men to be sexually active and tough and stuff. I've actually been reading up on it, it's called toxic masculinity -"

"Phil, seriously, I'm fine. I just don't want to hear you talk about making out and having sex all the time," Dan interrupted.

"But you said yourself that you were jealous, which can only mean one thing, you want a girlfriend," Phil commented. Dan was getting fed up with Phil's talk. He really didn't want a girlfriend. At all. He thought it was kind of obvious. He had been asked out by loads of girls, why would he turn all of them down if he was straight? Phil knew this too. Dan sat up, ready to tell Phil.

"I'm gay! I don't want a girlfriend!" Dan exclaimed.

"You're not gay, silly," Phil said playfully. "You would've told me. Plus, you wouldn't be jealous of me if you were gay."

"This is me telling you!" Dan said, seriously. "I'm gay. I can assure you. I'll even show you the porn folder on my laptop if you don't believe me."

Phil looked at him. Not in a disgusted or disturbed way, but in a way of disbelief.

"You're being serious?" Phil asked. Dan nodded. "Oh my god."

Dan didn't know what to do. Phil was clearly still processing this. He didn't know how to react to Phil's reaction.

"If you're gay then why are you jealous?" Phil questioned. Dan sighed, looking at his sheets. He didn't want to look at Phil right now. He could either tell the truth and lie and tell him it wasn't true. Which would be lying about the truth, something that Dan tried not to do.

"I wasn't jealous of you, I'm jealous of your girlfriend." Dan confessed.

"Oh," Phil said quietly. Dan quickly shut his eyes and tried to keep himself from crying. He wanted to see as nonchalant about this as he possibly could be. "You can kiss me if you want."

"W-What?" Dan asked, his gaze quickly glancing up to Phil's.

"You can kiss me, I know you probably want to," Phil repeated. Dan didn't want Phil to know how much he really wanted to.

"I couldn't do that," Dan said. "You wouldn't want to and you're just offering because you pity me."

"Not really," Phil replied. "I don't pity you. I've never thought about being with a guy before, I could be bisexual.

"Are you serious?" Dan asked, wondering if this was really happening. Phil nodded.

"Am I kissing you or are you kissing me?" Phil asked. Dan couldn't stutter out a response so Phil just rolled his eyes and leaned forward, placing his lips on his. Dan immediately sighed into the kiss, taking his arms and looping them behind Phil's neck. Phil's lips started to move against his and Dan quickly followed suit. It was electric and Dan never wanted it to end. All too soon, Phil was pulling back. He was now sitting on his knees, face still extremely close to Dan's. Phil's arms came to rest on Dan's waist.

"Hey, you wanna learn how to make out?" Phil asked, eyes stuck on Dan's lips. Dan quickly nodded.

Phil leaned his head back in, lips colliding with Dan's once more. He quickly pushed Dan against the bed, coming to hover above him. Dan sighed again, biting his lip as Phil's mouth moved to his neck.

This was not how he planned for his day to go. Not at all. But he didn't mind.