#i wanna hear abt it from u !!!
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The more I think about W1 and Gabriel the more I realize that unlike with V1 which (imo) doesn’t feel like it has much of a deep super strong opinion on Gabriel. Not resentment at least.
W1 does not like him. It in fact hates him. like a lot.
On a deep personal level it absolutely despises that angel. And it makes me think of just how cruel it would be to him in the second fight and I honestly wish I had drawn Gabriel even more injured in that one comic, than just his heart being torn out. I think W1 would want to make him into minced meat.
When you combine the most bloodthirsty over-confident hyperactive maniac with the pettiest cunt robot alive it makes for one sadistic little guy when it feels wronged.
There’s something very magical about Gabriel experiencing torture in hell and being brought down to the level of sinners that call out his name for help or for strength. In the same way he doesn’t hear them, God does not hear his calls.
In those moments he realizes this is not a fight for redemption. And that it really isn’t to be found in hell. When the entire idea behind Christianity should be to seek redemption and forgiveness, to better yourself. To know god is ever loving and forgiving, it feels like there’s no one to hear him out. Or anyone else.
And for what reason? And who does this senseless torture benefit.
And so the campfire scene in my au would probably be skipped.
#mm#i wont put this in the main tags#but ill tag as characters for the sake of organizing my blog#w1#gabriel#anyway i would make a comic about this as i usually do but i cant rn! so ull be seeing me ramble abt stuff like this from time to time ^^#uhh if u dislike my reading thats ok!! if u wanna share your perspective id be happy to hear. im actually nto the best with handling gabriel#but its fun..#just be polite when discussing with me and ill reply even if it takes me a bit :D
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realizing that communication actually doesnt matter as much as ppl say it does, bc most ppl glorify it and see it as a magical solution when in fact communicating your feelings/wants/needs only work if other ppl are receptible to it. which... most ppl arent, both bc many dont want to bc it requires too much effort of them and it's easier to shift blame on others not "communicating", but also bc many many ppl just have brains that arent wired to understand others, or other viewpoints and perspectives. thus, no level of communication will make someone who isnt capable of receiving it hear you. most efforts to "communicate" are completely wasted. and it's frustrating, but what can u do?
#one of my main examples of this is...#i clearly stated in the beginning of someone expressing potential interest in me#that i have feelings for someone and i cant help that or do anything abt and its just how it is#but that person continued to call me stupid for not just stopping my feelings for my person#thats just an example *i* FEEL is obvious#even if u tell someone or warn someone or give someone a head ups#if they arent capable of comprehending it or you... it wont matter#they will still hurt / punish / get mad at u for not being what they want#so yeah... makes me wanna scream#humans are just too much fkn pain in the ass </3#i barely even see the point in being upfront or direct or honest anymore#it doesnt even fucking matter bc apparently most ppl are fkn incapable of hearing u 😒#i've always thought it so important to be considerate to others#not waste their time... not give them fair warnings etc etc#but more and more i feel like 9/10 they just fkn lash out on u anyway#maybe i should just be sketchy and dodgy and vague distant and detached and avoidant like everyone else is#and just protect myself and my own selfish desires and needs and wishes. everyone else does that.#i just am not wired to look at ppl and see what they can give me or what i can use them for#thats why i often am just upfront and honest. i dont see ppl as merchandise or their sole purpose being to serve me and my needs#im just a human and theyre a human and we have a mutual thing going#but no. nooooo. thats how *i* work. i've learned that now#most (not all but far too many im tired) look at others and automatically calculate how they can use them#what they can get out of talking to u. what they can take and get from u. how to make u act the way they want to#idk where im going with this.... uh. i just dont see the point in communicating. ppl dont listen..#bc they dont want to cummincate. they want u to shut up and act like the marionette they see u as. they dont wanna hear u out or understand#they want u to just behave and act how they tell u. thus communicating is a total waste of energy 9/10 times#like .. for example on here. i can put like warning im mentally ill in my bio. but ppl will still be personally affeonted when i act that#way to myself ... most ppl just are not capable of listening to others or processing the fact that others dont exist for them#it doesnt matter how much u try to be honest or direct or upfront bc they dont care. they dont hear it. they wont adjust or respect u.#so why even bother communicating? or warn? or be direct? none of that even makes a lick of difference its so futile
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#minecraft#minecraft poll#i may have forgotten something but i made sure to include trident (my beloved)#idk if this will reach half as many people as the enderman/creaking shitpost but#i have so much love for the different ways people prefer to play the cube game <3#i wanna hear abt it from u !!!
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WHO DOES OLIVER N ISAGI MAIN!!!!!!!
i couldn't hold it in fr i'm just gonna list them all LMFAOOO
BLUE LOCK CHARACTERS + THEIR MORTAL KOMBAT MAIN (to me...)
rin -> noob saibot
oliver -> johnny cage (DUH LMFAO)
isagi -> raiden (will also occasionally play sub-zero ^_^)
kunigami -> jax
nagi -> ermac (or noob saibot Sometimes)
sae -> sub-zero
shidou -> kano (or baraka sometimes)
barou -> does not play this game (he mains jade he is a jade stan and thinks she could do no wrong ever. secretly tho he'll never tell)
hiori -> kung lao (also plays sub-zero or noob saibot)
bachira -> mileena (duh. or scorpion sometimes . enjoys the "get over here!" a little too much LMAO)
karasu -> erron black (or kung lao sometimes! mostly erron tho)
otoya -> kitana (because shes sexy. mostly plays her but will play liu kang occasionally against karasu imo)
kaiser -> shang tsung (or sometimes scorpion!)
chigiri -> sonya blade
reo -> reptile (get the joke)
raichi -> shao kahn (i will beat his ass cuz hes stupid for maining him but its whatever)
ness -> doesn't play the game but if he had to kabal (or sub-zero lol. especially if kaiser is playing scorpion)
gagamaru -> nightwolf
#i love silly hcs#esp abt video games im insane#IK THERES PROLLY MORE CHARACTERS BUT these i could like . point out from my head#SM OF THEM WOULD LOVE SUB ZERO I HAD TO BE REAL LMAO#u dont wanna hear abt my tekke.n one... or the overwatc.h one lol#sora.inbox#io <3#TY FOR ASKING I KISS U
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sorry if I become extra annoying im kinda tweaking over being on my own for the first time sooooo I might let myself become extra indulgent 💔💔💔
#‘aren’t u already super indulgent’ you’d be surprised#everything will be tagged either fanfic bullshit or gayalanwoke if you wanna block 😭#sorry i kinda maybe sorta will be having a moment. for a while.#idk if I can call myself disabled. but like yall know I have diagnosed cptsd and suspected-autism#sooooooo#taking care of myself is. not easy. At all#I can hardly manage with my parents#and now . idk. basically my routine for the past 20 years is being disrupted and im not handling it well#not only that. just.#again like I said taking care of myself in general is really hard#AND I have . college now.#lord 😭#I’ve always been a straight a student in high school and community college right#four months after my cptsd developed? I dropped out of community college 🫠#bc I literally couldn’t handle it#that was last February#now im at a . four year school#so#im tweaking#like actually this time#and since hyperfixations are All Consuming . they are as helpful as they are debilitating yk#so like yes this show/the fic might contribute to education problems. buttttt it’ll also stop me from crashing out!!!!!#so . yeah. yall might be hearing a bit more from me 😵💫#or#I’ll become extremely self conscious and never follow through#sorry#this is so funny I’m freaking out that yall might be angry im posting abt stuff that makes me happy LMFAOAOO#THIS IS LITERALLY ALL IN MY HEAD LMAOOOO#yall: hey gayalanwake! what’s up? cool binder. hey gayalanwake! wanna come over to my house today? :D#me: they alllll hated me 🐺
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have a new mental disorder im naming transit blues where im perfectly well adjusted [citation needed] right up until i miss a bus by one minute which triggers a depressive spiral so bad that the only reason i do not kill myself is because i know in 3 hours ill be literally fine again and actually mildly embarrassed about the suicide ideation at that point
#good idea generator#bus drove away without me#i also dont wanna hear it from anyone abt how tasteless suicide jokes are bc im not joking#suicide ment /#like im fine. im fine because i will be fine in 3 hours as mentioned in the post#one of those things where the trigger is so nothing that my behaviour is extremely unreasonable#and everyone assumes im overreacting for comedy#but i dont really wanna be like no this is a serious problem for me#bc it is a deranged problem to have. and probably indicates underlying issues i need to address#but also the internal experience at this point is borderline boring#ohhhh booo you want to die? you want to kill yourself? yeah thats what u said last week and u werent serious then either. bozo#and the worst part is im not serious. but i am serious. but also i know im not serious#i feel like im a teller at a bank that keeps being robbed at gunpoint by the same guy#and at this point im pretty sure its just blanks. but i still gotta take him seriously just in case this time he'll really do it
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i swear i’m not mad i think this is hilarious actually but after seeing how many of you sent me “slowly kissing down the other’s body” for the kiss prompt asks i’m kindly requesting that no one utter a single word of discourse surrounding kissing in fics again
#genuinely not mad i’ve been laughing abt this for like an hour#i see u all. on anon#🤨🤨🤨🤨#anyways#when i write my kind of practice kiss fic idea i’ve had since october#but have been too afraid for my life to write despite it literally being the tamest thing on the face of the planet#i don’t wanna hear SHIT from u all#that’s all#carry on#/astro posts
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fangirl gg !!!!
#him calling cam to ask what playing like lebron was like 😭😭#THEYRE LITTLE FRIENDS!!!!!!!#SO CUTE#gg being the only person brave enough to tell lebron yo 😭#hes so silly !!! and sweet!#i wanna hear more abt cam and his friendship!!!!#they both were drafted lower than they expected#i wanna hear their hype hijinks !!#gg: DUDE!!!!!!!! u just played.. LEBRON JAMES#cam: i FUCKING KNoW R iGHT?????#gg: THATS SO COOL#cam: DAMN RIGHT IT IS#gg: eeeEEEEEKK!!!!!!!!! *SQUEALS*#cam: *BELLOWS*#jabari: WHITMORE. CAN YOU SHUT THE HELL UP. ALPEY AND I ARE TRYING TO DO yOGA TOGETHER .#IT'S CALLED TRAINING. QUIETLY. YOU SHOULD TR Y IT .#*slams the door like an angry dad whose wife just got woken from her sleep at 2am from the kids playing videogames*#gg: .... 😦#cam:#cam: .... my dad is so gay dude#gg: dude your dads going to Hell dude :(#cam: pls soon ❤️#gg
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genuinely also curious from other ppl who have drawn from live models. whenever i talk about this experience ppl ask me if the models were all attractive and young and in-shape. in my figure drawing class only two of the regular models could somewhat fit that description. most of them were middle-aged or older people of ordinary (but diverse) proportions. like my experience may not be representative but i find it curious that ppl hear about modelling for a drawing class and wonder if that's like a hot 20-something job. it doesn't seem to be lol
#this is ok to reblog btw i wanna start a discussion#text post#reblog bait#life drawing#figure drawing#like i would be willing to bet there's some body discrimination in some places#where they might have a wider selection of ppl willing to work?#i DONT know anything about working as a model or how ppl get into it or do it steadily on the side#it does seem like an interesting gig for sure. not one i'd wanna get into myself but i'd love to hear abt it from someone who does it#or just observations from other ppl who have taken drawing classes w live models#in my experience (admittedly limited) of looking at reference websites of nude figures... some of them are more 'young and hot'#which kinda DOES NOT surprise me. bc they want ppl to BUY permission to use those photos as drawing references#and perhaps ppl are willing to lay down more money for pretty people? idk. or again it could just be a hiring preference by photographers#could be a multitude of factors.#but it's kind of unnecessary bc in order to learn the fundamentals of drawing realistic bodies u gotta draw a lot of them#u have to see different positions and different features and different shapes and overall different ppl#i miss drawing from live models. most of all for the gestural sessions. those were REALLY fun#very satisfying as warm-up exercises. quick and fast-paced and spontaneous. you cant get that at home
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just unlocked a memory that happened like a week ago. one of my team leaders was asking me what i was listening to and i told her (soft spine by spiritbox) and i told her they were a metal band and she was like you listen to metal??? and i thought she said that bc i like wear pink all the damn time but its actually bc she hates every genre of music that isnt classical (but especially rock, hip hop, and pop)
#ik this sounds like a cartoon character but she was srsly like damn thats crazy. i listen to good music btw#she also said some things abt hip hop that i was like i dont wanna hear that from u white lady#also sorry that all my work stories are abt music its all anyone ever talks to me abt 😭#vinnie talks
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question!
i've been wanting to stray away from lu for a while now and do my own thing with wars n ledge and the rest of the links (mainly bc i feel restricted by jojo's rules/don't agree w her takes, and wanna pursuit my own stuff), but there's one big thing holding me back, and that's lack of views to put it bluntly
if i make my own au and don't tag its content as #lu, then it will most definitely get a fraction of the attention my lu content does. and i know it sounds self-centered of me to worry abt something like that, but i put months of work into the fics i post. i put days of work into each art piece i post. if i work on something for months and then 10 people on ao3 read it and an astounding 0 of them even leave a comment, that will be Devastating to my motivation And confidence
what im asking y'all is this: should i finally make my own au to separate myself from lu and risk the plunge in notes, or should i stay in the lu fandom and suffer?
#qktalks#i feel like my links are far enough apart from lu's canon to justify this#ESPECIALLY my wars#my wars is Nothing like lu wars; he's silly and goofy and not at all serious#not even accounting for the fact that he Looks completely different design-wise i think he's pretty far from canon lu now#my sky design is Nothing like lu sky's and i have my own characterizations of him despite not posting abt it much#to put it bluntly once again i wanna post stuff of them all cuddling and being a family without dipshit lu fans coming in and correcting me#so far it's only happened like Once but the fear and anxiety of being ridiculed is still very much apparent#im afraid to post stuff. i don't wanna be afraid to post stuff#i wanna have my own au where i have my Own rules#and i wanna be in a fandom that doesn't fuckin suck VGIEAYGV#but im terrified of switching over and out of the fandom bc then my stuff won't be viewed at all#and without reblogs of my art and comments on my fics i have a feeling i will simply stop producing anything altogether#i know the whole ''u should make art for yourself'' thing but . it's no fun if nobody else is gonna see it yaknow ?#i wanna show other people what makes me happy and maybe make them happy in the process#that's hard to do when u don't tag ur posts w a popular fandom tag that everybody searches through#idk . willing to hear anybody's takes on this
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thinking of u today angel i hope u know how loved u were / are
#shit happens#personal#</3#i miss my dead friends#period slay#I wish I could call you and hear your voice but all I have is the voice memo of the day before I moved and it makes my chest ache to hear it#but I don’t wanna forget your voice so I play it from time to time#I really do miss you#u were one of my favorite ppl and u always will be I’ll tell my fucking kids abt u bro fr#u meant so much to me more than you will ever know#u showed me true friendship and real authentic love and not even ina gay way#u taught me to not make myself small for others comfortability#it’s not my job to shrink myself to your standards world#I am allowed to take up space bc I’m worthy and loved#and u taught me that#u were a real one for my momma and I miss having u over for holidays#thanksgiving and my birthday will never be the same#u even came over Christmas and Christmas Eve bc u were just that bitch#I love you forever and always
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film club n film discussions seem like s9 much fun... forever ago I was in a little film group and i loved reading reviews from people....
#Brie rambles#I didn't participate much aside from an intro. But I do like reading ppls thoughts on film#Bc sometimes hearing a perspective on a film changes how you think and puts it in a new light or sometimes u get a good rec!#I'm on a not good film streak here so. I'm thinking abt film.#I wanna watch something good I've had prob 3/10 3/10 and the last one was an okay 7/10#I also do like watching movies w ppl.... I have very specific film etiquette tho...#Which mainly is. Do not talk and I need subtitles.
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okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool
#okay so I came to this flat and he wasn’t here. greeted by a very dirty flat with shit all over the kitchen counters over cling film#I meet first my other flatmate who told me he stays in his room constantly bc of previous bad flatmates#has literally just a saucepan and some salt in the kitchen. so I’m like okay spaghetti guy potentially not great but could just be#how this guy is yknow#on Tuesday I get an email back saying he’s coming back from Norway tonight looking forward to seeing you feel free to use the kitchen sauces#rlly friendly message that I wasn’t expecting. I also didn’t know he’d been on a trip i just knew he wasn’t there bc his door was open#(to a REALLY nice room. multiple rlly nice plants (which he has little care labels for!!!) and it’s tidy and pretty#and he’s got a sheep teddy on the bed)#meanwhile I am in my own head bc I don’t wanna cook in the kitchen until I can clean it and I can’t clean it without moving his shit and#I haven’t seen him yet to talk abt it and I can’t bring myself to talk to him immediately bc I’m dying#and embarrassed as hell by how I’ve been cooking in my room with a microwave and air fryer (loud) and sneaking my shit out of the kitchen#but then yesterday I DO talk to him!! and he’s super friendly!! actually interested in having a conversation and Good at it.#and then he’s cooking and like. spaghetti burns but I’m not there for long and seems to be a mistake (he made the same thing for lunch today#and did Not burn the spaghetti) and is otherwise clearly competent bc the food smells Good and despite leaving a few things out it’s like#washed up stuff isn’t dirty and the sides are better despite still under cling film. more a case that he’s spread out than he’s messy#and now today we talked and i offered to hold onto some shit over summer bc complicated situation that boils down to he’s flying back home#and he cant take all his stuff and had to choose between chucking stuff/having literally nothing this weekend. like sleeping on the sofa etc#and then cleans the whole flat?? which I’m assuming a good chunk is his mess? but he did not need to do that. could’ve easily left#bc there are two people still living here who would’ve had to deal with it and he doesn’t know either at all#and THEN tonight we talk abt food which is fun bc we both ordered stuff. and he offers me some honeydew melon bc he’s been gorging himself#these past two days to finish it before it goes bad/he leaves which is also really sweet#and JUST NOW. I take my headphones out after finishing dinner and hear the sweetest fucking guitar#he plays the gentlest like dreamy sounding acoustic guitar I’ve heard in my life in his room (door closed by the time I leave)#this is actually just a really cool dude#now that the kitchens clear I’m gonna cook tomorrow and will probably offer him some bc otherwise he’s gonna be eating out all weekend#he has extra takeout for tomorrow night but might want smth Sunday#regardless I am just. huh??? left a bit stunned bc of the u turn my opinion of this guy has taken. bc my opinion of him was a reflection#of my discomfort moving to this weird dirty basement flat with two people I didn’t know#well. idk where to go from here. I think I’ll start by talking to him more this weekend. bc holy fucking shit.#luke.txt
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hey mutuals guess what? [gloms onto ur leg like a child and refuses to let go]
#i am feeling sappy today and also am struggling to make the most words#but also i want y'all to know I love u#u should talk to me abt ur days 🥺 i wanna know whatever ur doing even if u think its mundane#i may not use the most words in response but I genuinely wanna hear from yall ok?
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if anyone's super into ggy/rab and vanny and the new stuff with i think tony and ellis? ( i think those were their names hope so ) i would NOT mind if you ranted about it to me bcc i really need to catch up w all that,, i think thats the only thing im really lost on w lore right now so if anyone would like to enlighten me,, hi ty im open!!!! would love to hear!!! dont care if u sprinkle some hc stuff in there too!!
#fnaf security breach#fnaf ggy#fnaf vanny#dr rabbit#will listen TRUST i love reading abt stuff when ppl are passionate abt it#and i hope this doesnt come off as.. demanding?? expecting someone to just tell me?? im so sorry if it does <//3#like prev prev tag i just like hearing it from those who really like it :3#dm me or reblog or put it in inbox whatever u feel comfy w if u wanna!!!
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