#i wanna distract myself but focusing is rough right now

[1427]

When the Levee Breaks (pt. 5)

Daryl Dixon x OFC

Story Summary: The one in which a stripper that used to know Merle and Daryl shows up at the Atlanta camp. Daryl’s feelings are complicated but mostly he hates her, right?

Chapt Setting: The Farm/Woods

Chapt Warnings: pretty explicit drug use (meth), season 2 Daryl, degrading/sexist language (he’s starting to get better lol), SOPHIA CHAPTER (I think that deserves a warning)

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: Daryl’s POV story. Daryl’s starting to be less of a dick, trying really hard to make it feel organic/make it make sense in the story. Idk. This chapter was really rough to write because… it made me sad. Also have no idea if it even makes sense (the hallucination bit, really hope it does) lol ALSO; I looked up some timeline stuff and i just?? Really thought Daryl was out there for days on his own? But apparently he wasn’t? We’re just gonna say that he is in this story. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I can only do so much when the timeline of TWD is fucking stupid sometimes. (I mean it. Come for me. Idc. Rick was in a coma for 59 days without food or water???!?!!!? Bye)

masterlist

17+ mdni (no smut in this one tho sorry)

Like fiberglass in my veins, it tears through me. Mellow, at first, almost think I should rail more before I can feel myself sweatin’. Different kinda sweat, comin’ from my fuckin’ soul. 

Haven’t felt like I was doin’ something ‘wrong’ since I was little. That feeling that ch’ya get when you’re doin’ somethin’ ya know you’re not s’possed to. This ain’t the first time I done spazz, but maybe it’ll be the last. The anxiety about doin’ it goes away the second I feel the devil kick me through my nose to the back of my brain. Even though I know it’s comin’, it always feels like gettin’ skullfucked by satan. 

Been out here for a day. I brought Merle’s shit with me because I decided to finally get rid of it somewhere. But I got somethin’ that needs doin’. And anyway, I got years of experience with ice. Not doin’ it. Sometimes doin’ it. Never let Merle know, he’d’ve made some big whoop ‘bout it. And everytime he’d gone and done more than he remembered, he woulda blamed me. Shit though, sometimes it was. 

M’not like Merle and Beatle. Ain’t an addict. Can do shit and put it down. Always been able to put it down. Figured other people could too, that they just didn’t wanna. ‘m not sure, but still kinda think that. 

Never felt fuckin’ guilty about it before, though. Fuckin’ Beatle. I’unno if it’s cuz I’d be done with her if she did the same shit, or if it’s cuz I know if she knew that I was - she’d be mad at me. Mad I didn’t invite ‘er. 

But this shit ain’t for fuckin’ playtime. Only reason ‘m even doin’ it i’so I can find Sophia. So I can stay awake, focus, and get ‘er back. They use ta use this shit in war. War’s the reason methamphetamines even exist. Nazi’s? Hell, every single one of ‘em in WWII. Kamikazi’s loaded up, totally fuckin’ wasted outta their minds on crystal while they bolted ‘em in. Kept ‘em awake, kept ‘em happy, kept ‘em focused on the mission. Tha’s what I gotta do. 

I can’t stop lookin’ til I find ‘er. Sophia. ‘m the only one that can, only one that knows how. And anymore, ‘m the only one that seems to give a shit. ‘Sides Carol. And Beatle. She wanted ta come. Told her she’d only slow me down. Distract me. Drawn more geeks. She woulda. Told her I didn’t need food either but she packed me some anyway. Knew I wasn’t gonna be hungry. Knew I was gonna use this dumb shit to help. But whatever. 

Doesn’t matter what happens to me, right? My life’s not worth nothin’, not compared to that little girl. Now that her old man’s outta the picture she actually got a chance. Maybe not mucha one, not the way shit is these days. But she got ‘er mom. And ‘er mom can actually be ‘er mom now. Not scared of some piece’a shit prick that finally got what was comin’ to ‘im. 

Man fuck that guy.

The trail I’m followin’ disappears so I backtrack to the mangroves where I found her doll and try to find another one. 

I start to wonder what kinda old man Beatle had. What kinda mom? Startin’ ta realize I don’t know a damn thing about Beatle. I know she likes drinkin’, she likes laughin’, she likes fuckin’ with me. But… 

Beatle keeps surprisin’ me. Not just because she let me hump her face a few days ago, the fact that she liked it, shit I haven’t even had a second to process that. Nah, more cuz she hasn’t brought it up. Hasn’t tried to hold my hand again. Hasn’t been annoyin’ me nearly as much. Not even at all, if ‘m honest. 

My brain’s goin’ a million miles a fuckin’ second over Beatle and what happened between us. Not just the other night, but back then. Got questions that need answerin’ but she ain’t here. Try to keep myself occupied with trackin’ but it ain’t like trackin’ takes much thinkin’. Follow every trail I pick up, but none of ‘em lead me to Sophia. 

I’d prob’ly start gettin’ really frustrated about this, but that’s what crystals good for. All the dopamine I need, and nothin’s annoyin’. Focus.

✨🏹 

Bent branches, wilted leaves, mud impressions, walker guts. Trees and rocks and blood and mud and dirt and greens and browns and reds and blacks. And it’s dark and it’s light and it’s dark. And it smells fuckin’ rotten. Bent branches, wilted leaves, another trail, another dead end, another undead shithead. Bent branches, wilted leaves, mud impressions, Beatle. 

How many times did I go into Merle’s bag and take the devils dick up my nose? Cuz Beatle’s standin’ here right in front of me. ‘Cept she’s all done up in makeup and glitter and her pupils are the size of dimes. Little pink crop top, tiniest pair’a daisy dukes I ever seen. ‘n she’s in my face sayin’ the shit I been thinkin’ about her sayin’ since that day she said it. 

“I like you, Dar.” 

“You like bein’ fucked up more.” I say it like I said it the last time. 

“That’s not true! I mean - I like you, Daryl.” She steps closer, tries to put her hand on my cheek before I brush her off. She slumps back a little, turning away. “You like me, too. You said it.” 

My hearts in my fuckin’ throat and I’m standin’ there, this can’t be fuckin’ happening. I know is’not but doesn’t make it feel any less real. “Tha’ was before I really knew ya, Beatle.” 

Hate that I said that to ‘er. Did I really say that? Cuz maybe that’s how I felt. Hell, maybe that’s how I felt last week. But it ain’t fair. I don’t know her. Still. Now. Don’t know ‘er at all. Thought I did. Thought I understood what kinda girl did those kindsa things. Is that really what I said? Fuck.

She’s still turned away from me, but I walk the half circle around to look at her face. And she’s sobbing. Silently, trying to stay as still as possible. I… I don’t remember this part. Maybe I didn’t see it? Nah, I saw it. Just didn’t care. Didn’t wanna look at ‘er. Didn’t want to hear her lame ass confession. Especially after she’d brought up that I told ‘er I liked ‘er. She sniffles and wipes her face before she pulls a bubble pipe out of the waistband of her shorts and lights the bottom, starts smokin’ it. She asks if I want a hit, like last time. 

I go to say no, but the words don’t come out. Instead my hand reaches for it. I look back up and Beatle’s dressed all different. Baggy jeans and a bikini top. That night. Fuck. Shit. I don’t want to relive that night. 

“I promise, I won’t tell Merle.” She says, handing me her lighter. And I smoke it. Inhaling the vapor slowly like she had. “You gotta sip at it, like it’s a coffee and you’re drinking the air to see if it’s still too hot. Roll the bowl or it will burn.” I do it the way she says. She’s like ten years younger than me, but she looks at me - talks to me like it don’t matter. Like she don’t see it that way. Guess I don’t either, never really did. 

I’d never wanted to smoke it before. But that night I wanted to. With her. Woulda done anything she’d asked that night ‘fore she ruined it. I ruined it. Til it got all fucked up an’ it was never the same again. Not the way I saw her, not the way she looked at me. 

I’m goin’ through memories like they’re happening all over again. Feelin’ fuckin’ sick. I don’t wanna remember this. 

I hand the pipe back to her and she asks, “How do you feel?” 

“Fine.” 

“Just fine?” She smiles. 

“Good.” I clarify. 

“Good.” 

Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. “I think I like you, Beatle.” 

She laughs too hard, “you think?” I feel myself getting sicker and angry again all at once. 

I split in half. One half feelin’ those same feelings I felt. That this conceited fuckin’ bitch really acts like everyone likes her. I hear her words and it sounds like she’s sayin’ ‘well obviously’ - but the other halfa me hears it like a real question. Like she wanted ta know what I meant. I don’t remember how I responded then, but I can hear myself say it, “Self-obsessed cunt.” 

Beatle laughs, “Is that what you like about me?” 

My misunderstanding continues; Thought she was pickin’ on me. Makin’ funna me. All these years. All this time. Thought she was fuckin’ laughin’ at me. Never told a girl I liked her. Not that I never did like one, just never told ‘em. Not like some teenage fuckin’ confessional. And I do and what?  she just laughs.  

Shit. 

Cuz inside ‘m screaming. Screamin’ at myself ta say somethin’ different. To jus’ tell her. She’s special, she’s exciting, and when she smiles at the shit I say it makes me feel like I’m the only one in the fuckin’ world to her. Tha’s what she wants ta here. Tha’s why she’s askin’. 

“Nah. Forget it.” She nods, and I thought she did forget it.  She forgot until she brings it up again in the memory I already re-lived. 

Tha’s how I was so damn sure she didn’t give a single shit about if I liked her or not. Didn’t bring it up again for months. Didn’t give a single shit about me at all. Felt stupid for ever thinkin’ she might. Just a dumb crush on a dumb girl, and I forgot everything about it. An’ every little thing she did that made me like ‘er ended up as somethin’ else I hated.  And every time I saw her after that she was fucked up on somethin’. Meth or booze or weed. Usually all three. 

It comes at me like a fuckin’ freight train, her lips crashing into mine, but this time I want it. Don’t wanna stop kissin’ ‘er. Instead my arms move and I push her down to the ground. She’s wearing the crop top again, can tell she’d been cryin’. She’s layin’ there in the rocks lookin’ up at me and I flash back to the living room where this happened, where she’d told me she liked me back. I wanna beat the shit outta myself for makin’ her look like that. 

How didn’t I see it? 

I did see it. I just didn’t care. Thought I knew what kinda girl did those kinds’a things. 

Wonderin’ what kind of old man she had. What kinda boyfriends before she met me. How maybe she’s just as fuckin’ scared’a feelin’ stuff as I am. How maybe it took her months to even get up the courage to tell me after I’d told ‘er never mind and slowly started to hate her. How many’a those drinks were for courage? How many’a those hits were cuz she was nervous?

Shit. 

And she’s runnin’ away like she did then. Away from me an’ outta my life until a few weeks ago. I know it ain’t real but I run after her anyway. Screamin’ her name into the open air like maybe somehow I can change it if I can get her to come back. But she’s gone and ‘m still running tryin’ to find her. Screaming for her ‘til my throats hoarse. 

‘Til the walkers hear me. 

✨🏹

Andrea fuckin’ shot me. What is wrong with this fuckin’ group?

✨🏹

Beatle’s in the bedroom with me but I can’t look at ‘er. Don’t wanna. Feels like she knows what I was doin’ out in them woods without ‘er. Like she can see the dirty shit in my soul and for some reason it makes me ill. Can’t look at ‘er. Knowin’ I hurt ‘er like that all that time ago. Knowin’ it now like I ain’t ever known anything else. 

It’s just me ‘n her and she doesn’t try to talk to me. Just lets me lay there hatin’ myself for all of it. Didn’t even find Sophia. 

Spent a lot of my days in my life hatin’ myself. Thinkin’ I was good for nothin’. Now ‘m sure of it. 

I feel the bed move under the weight of her. She hugs herself around me, and like some pathetic kid I fuckin’ cry. Don’t know if she can tell or not but she tries comforting me anyway. “It’s okay, Dar. You did your best.” Her voice… how could I have ever thought it was annoying? Her bein’ so nice just makes me hate myself more. 

“Lea‘me alone, Beatle.” Shakin’ her arm out from around me. She gets off the bed and sits back in the chair she’d been in. God, I fuckin’ hate myself. Wanna scream No, come back. I didn’t mean it. 

Still got question’s that need answerin’. This time Beatles right here, and I ain’t got nothin’ to lose. “Why were you naked in Merle’s room?” Grateful that she’s sittin’ behind me. Don’t think I could talk to ‘er ‘bout this stuff if she was lookin’ at me. Right now? If I saw her face? Don’t think I could talk at all. 

She laughs. Fuck her stupid fuckin’ laugh. “I still can’t believe you think I fucked around with Merle.” 

“Why not? Y’all hung out every other day.” My voice is sharp, feels like she’s laughin’ at me again. Always feels like everyone’s laughin’ at me. 

“We all hung out every other day, Dar.” 

“Stop callin’ me tha’.” 

“I was carpet surfing. Your dumbass brother spilled all the schkag all over the damn place.” 

Oh…. But, “Ya didn’t have any clothes on.” 

“I never had any clothes on, Daryl. You sure I wasn’t just wearing something ‘slutty’? You know, like you always said I was? Cuz I don’t remember, but I’ve never been naked with Merle. Ever. Sounds fuckin’ gross.”

Oh. 

It made sense. Makes so much sense, ‘specially now. She keeps talkin’ an’ ‘m grateful cuz if I tried to say anything else I’d start fuckin’ cryin’ again. “I liked you, man. I…” she stops herself. Wanna beg her to keep goin’ but I can’t. 

Instead I ask ‘er the only question I got left, “Why’d ya leave, then? Ya left ‘n ya never came back.” 

She’s silent for a long time. “When you and Merle moved, where’d you go?” 

She did come back. 

“Why’d ya leave, Beatle?” Doesn’t matter where Merle and I went. She’s avoidin’ the question. 

“Got sober. After that night… with you. Wanted to get sober. Wanted to…” she don’t say the rest but she don’t need to. I got it. Fuck, my heart can’t take it. 

“Cuz I said ya liked gettin’ fucked up more than ya liked me.” It ain’t a question. I know. 

“Think it was more the other thing you said.” 

Tha’ was before I really knew ya, Beatle. I can still taste the words. “Shouldn’t’a said that to ya.” My voice is barely a whisper. 

She gets back up on the bed and puts her arm around me again, this time I don’t shake her away. Her voice, so close to my ear, “I didn’t want to tell you that I came back. I didn’t want you to know that I got sober for you.” 

What? “Why not?” 

“Wasn’t sure you’d care. And if you did… I didn’t want you to have all the what-ifs in your head that I have in mine.” 

She hugs herself into me so tight it’s hard to breathe, and she tells me, “It doesn’t matter anymore.” 

I feel guilty, can’t take any of that back. Can’t make any of it better. I don’t deserve this. Her. After all the nasty shit I ever thought about her. After what I did to her the other night. I can’t bring myself to tell her to leave cuz I know she wants to be here. Don’t wanna make her cry again. 

So I let her hold me. Even though I don’t fuckin’ deserve it. 

[yeowangies]

PAIRING: Retsu Unohana/AFAB!Reader. CONTENTS: Established relationship, cunnilingus, A little comfort. WORDCOUNT: 855

Notes: So I was a little sad and stuff, and I wanted something to cheer myself up and also I love her you know lmao. This isn't proofread so yeah... Hope yall enjoy!

You had been sad. Retsu noticed it right away. It wasn’t like you tried to hide it, though you did try to downplay it. You felt too vulnerable confessing anything to anyone; you didn’t want to be looked at differently, especially by your lover. 

But of course, she was smart, attentive.

As you were laying in her futon one night, completely bare, legs tangled together as you kissed, you paid attention to her touch, much more delicate than any other time. She didn’t need to be rough with you every time; though it was a given that she lied to have the upper hand on most occasions, she was never rough. However, the contrast of her hand, sliding up your thigh and towards your butt, was notorious compared to other days. She was much more delicate then, as if you might break. 

“Will you tell me what’s been on your mind?” Retsu promptly asked against your lips, caressing your sides. 

You blinked, a little taken aback. You gazed into her eyes, unsure of how to answer, distracted because her body was pressed up against yours, one of her legs between yours. 

When Retsu didn’t get an immediate answer, she slid her leg higher up, pressing it against your slick pussy, making you jolt against her. 

“Um, it’s nothing…” You gasped when she firmly grabbed your hips, squeezing it affectionately. “I promise… It’s nothing important.”

Her piercing eyes made blood rush towards your face, and after a few seconds of silence, you finally sighed. 

“It’s no big deal, I promise… But I don’t wanna say it yet…”

You were momentarily scared that she might get mad or annoyed that you weren’t opening up, but after a beat, she sighed, pulling away only a little.

“Did I do something to upset you?”

“No!” You replied right away, tightening the grip you had around her neck. “I just don’t wanna talk about it right now, but I promise I’ll tell you.”

Retsu hummed, pensive, before leaning closer again, pressing her lips to yours in a sweet kiss. 

“You better keep that promise, babe,” She said, pressing you against the sheets with her body, as she peppered kisses down your neck. “In the meantime, I know what to do to make you feel better.”

It was your turn to hum, threading your fingers through her hair, caressing her scalp as she trailed her lips down your chest. Retsu would usually take her time; she liked to tease, planting brief kisses that only increased your arousal, but that wasn’t the case. If anything it seemed more urgent. She only licked one of your nipples, softly suckling on it, before moving downwards. 

Spreading your thighs open with her hands, she squeezed your flesh as her lingering gaze focused on your entrance, fully exposed to her. You were slightly embarrassed, but you remained still; the burning desire for her was much more important than the shame you sometimes felt when you were in that position.

Besides, she had seen you naked so many times, in so many different positions that were probably not flattering, and she always reminded you of how beautiful you were, how eager she was to take care of you. How could you not trust her after that?

You felt a little bad for not telling her right away about what was weighing heavily on your mind, but truthfully, you just needed a little intimacy. Retsu always made you feel desired, hot, needed. Heat bloomed inside you, from affection, but from passion as well the closer she leaned down towards your bare skin. 

Her gaze flicked to you when she darted out her tongue, slowly licking a stripe up your slit. You moaned, loud and long, when she lapped at your clit. You were wet before, but soon you felt your wetness dripping down your thighs and onto the bed sheets. 

It was just so easy to lose yourself whenever Retsu put her hands on you, or in this case, her mouth. She started slowly, sliding her tongue all over your pussy, taking her time to carefully taste you, before pressing her lips over your entrance. She never once moved her eyes away from you. You tried to keep your eyes locked on her, but every time her tongue pressed against your clit, pleasure traveled through your veins, and your whole body jolted, making you squeeze your eyes shut. 

Keeping her hair away from her face, you tugged at it when you got closer and closer to the edge. Her tongue pushed inside your pussy, curling just right, like she knew you liked it. Your thighs threatened to close around her head but her grip on them was tighter, keeping them spread open as she devoured you. 

Retsu hummed, slurping and drinking every drop of slick that you offered, as she buried her face between your legs. You moaned and mewled, unable to say anything coherent in those moments, as you simply focused on the hot, soft tongue against your pussy that was currently making your toes curl. Your climax was there, seconds away, but you couldn’t warn her. 

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

I know you've been getting a lot of male reader requests and I'm so sorry to add on to it-

Could I request a fic where Jason is bullying reader about being "Eddie's boy" or something like that and Eddie gets protective and possessive?

Maybe some smut with rough but loving Eddie? Eddie's absolutely wrecking the reader but still being the sweetheart that he is

Hi! I'll be happy to do my best.

I'm building off a continuation of this blurb, "Teach Me How to Love You" and combining it with another request:

Can you do an Eddie x Male Reader smut where the reader teases Eddie all day in school which makes him really horny. Then as soon as school ends Eddie quickly drags the reader to his trailer and things just go from there. (Sub/bottom reader btw). thank you!

The goal is to try and keep myself from burnout and honor the requests that come in at the same time. Thanks for understanding. Reader is 18.

Eddie Munson x Male Reader.

CW: 18+ Content (Smut--Handjobs and blowjobs specifically)

Feel free to look through my masterlist here!

____________________

Perhaps it was also naive to think that wearing your tightest jeans was just a coincidence on the day that you and Jason had to present your scene. The entire time, while glancing between your piece of paper and the classroom, you stole glances to Eddie. When you two caught gazes, you'd smile and Eddie would send you a wink. But then his eyes would drop down to the front of your jeans and when you turned to the side, he'd tilt his head just a little to catch a side view of your ass.

At the end, after the class finishes their clapping, you lean a bit of your chair to Eddie's seat, sliding a note onto the corner of his desk. Ms. Barlowe is much too distracted by her praise to notice the pass.

You are being so obvious. Perhaps I should get you a bucket.

Eddie scoffs when he reads it, flipping you bird. You laugh, turning back into your seat to face the front as the next pair goes up to the front to talk about the scene they translated and perform it. But the entire time you're staring at pairs, you can feel Eddie's stare boring in the side of your head.

"My place?" Eddie asks at the end of the day, fingers tracing over your palm.

"I have to get my mom from work. I've got the only working car right now."

Eddie nods, understanding the necessity of your part. "Just call when you get back home, yeah? Wanna make sure you're safe."

"Absolutely." You kiss his cheek, aware of the setting though the parking lot is full, most people are too focused on themselves to quite notice. You don't want to push it though.

Eddie opens your car door and closes it once you're situated inside. You roll down the window, through which Eddie leans in. "Still coming to the show tomorrow?"

"I wouldn't dream of missing it. Not with my man performing."

Eddie grins, head lolling gently to the side. "Oh, say that again."

"In your dreams, Munson. But seriously, I gotta go."

"Yeah, yeah, drive safe," he states, stepping away from the car and letting you back out of the spot. Eddie watches until your headlights are just ghosts of themselves before he climbs into the van and starts towards Gareth for band practice. He'd offered his plan as interim and for post practice originally, hoping to get more than just a kiss on the cheek. And if Eddie had anything to do with it, he would.

You seem to make it your life's mission to find every possible piece of distracting clothing and to wear it for Eddie the entire week. When it's not the jeans, it's the tight muscle tee that you wear, Corroded Coffin's logo etched into the front of it with fabric paint, or the button up shirt that most definitely should've been button up more to hide away your chest, but none of the teachers stopped you, or the cologne that isn't one Eddie's noticed you wearing before but smells absolutely fucking delicious. When it's none of that, it's the rings you unearth from where in your closet. Rings were Eddie's thing. And that he didn't want to sharing things, but he takes notes of the way you purposefully talk with your hands more with the rings, like you want to bring attention to them.

And the entire week, because your mom's car is still down, Eddie can't have you. He can't sit you on his lap, can't tug and pull you to a release in his fist like he wants and while it's literally had him rubbing one out nearly every night in the shower, Eddie can be a patient man when he wants to be.

Because Friday night you are all his. Your mother's car is fixed and returned Thursday evening and though Eddie has Dungeons and Dragons to head, there's nothing else that can get in the way.

That is until Jason's pestering comes to a head. He'd been on your ass since you two got assigned as partners and managed to get cordial enough to actually ace the project. However, the days post the presentation, he'd found every reason to corner you.

Today, a rather dry and crisp morning, Jason finds you leaning against the hood of your car, arms folded over your chest as you wait for Eddie. "Oh, are you missing your master? Sitting here like a lost fucking puppet." A slur follows it and you really and truly only want to turn away from him.

He'd gone from bumping you in the hallways, to openly mocking you when you weren't with Eddie. The less you gave in, the harder he tried to get a reaction. Today wouldn't be any different for you.

"You deaf? You hear me talking to you?" Jason hollers. Spit flies off the end of his lip.

You say nothing, staring at him and the crew that's assembled. It would be four against one and if you managed to get a good hit on two of them, the other two would be on your ass in a heartbeat. You're no fool, even if you can feel the tick of your own jaw.

"I'm talking to you," Jason huffs. "Ain't anybody ever tell you it's rude not to talk when someone's talking to you."

"You're yelling. You're not talking."

"You're a fucking freak who's fucking a freak and it's vile," he spits.

"Did Chrissy not put out? Or is it your time of the month?" you return. You hate to bring her into this--Chrissy's always been nice to you. But you know it's going to crawl under Jason's skin and eat him alive. The two of them had been on the rocks. Everyone could see it.

And like a match only needs gasoline Jason rushes you, hands tightening around the collar of your t-shirt. "The fuck did you say to me?"

"I don't think I need to repeat myself," you laugh.

"Hey!"

The call interrupts Jason's wild gaze and when he looks over, he spots Eddie rushing over. Eddie shoves past Patrick, who truly is the meeker of the group. How Sinclair could ever want to get in with the likes of them is beyond Eddie and though it pissed him off, Sinclair and yet to miss a campaign session so Eddie would let it slide until it became a problem. And Sinclair's not a problem, not someone Eddie thinks could be easily poison but Jason was a toxic cloud and strong enough to take almost anyone under.

Jason's grip loosen around your shirt and you swat at his hands. He steps away as Eddie steps between your body and his. "What kind of problem do we have here?" Eddie asks.

Jason grins. "Looks like we've got a freak problem right now. What do you say boys?"

You push up from the hood of the car. It's four against two, still terrible odds, but Eddie's scrappy, you've seen it. And so are you. These are odds you are willing to take and for a fleeting moment, you think the heavens you wore rings today.

You don't know who threw the first punch. It could've been Josh, maybe it was Chance. All you know is that when the gym teachers get involved to break up the fight, your lip may be busted but Josh's eye has seen better day. You're pretty sure Chance as a broken nose. Jason face seems mostly untouched as if he used the other three to shield himself from most of the damage and Patrick's eye and lip are swollen.

You let Mr. Jenkins haul you away, arms going up in defense before you look to find Eddie, who's not even looking at Mr. Polinsky but looking at you. The brawl lands you and Eddie a week of in-school suspension. Two brave witness came to attest that Jason, Chance, Patrick, and Josh instigated the fight but you know the precious Hawkin's basketball team will only get a slap on the wrist in the end.

As you and Eddie leave the principal's office, you notice how thick the silence is between the two of you. You hadn't spoken a word to each other when Eddie came up to intervene and you couldn't really say much as you took fist to your faces and the occasional foot to your rib.

"A beautiful way to start the day, huh?" you tease, nudging at his elbow with your own.

"How long has Jason been antagonizing you?" Eddie ask instead, pulling you of the direction of the nurses office where the two of you were sent with directions to go immediately to the ISS room.

You shrug. "I wouldn't call it antagonizing as much as I would call Jason pathetic."

"He is pathetic. I hate that Sinclair's going to the dark side, but you were severely outnumbered there. How long as he been on your case?"

"A couple of days."

Eddie stares at you, big eyes pleading as you can see the bruises blossoming his face.

"A week," you sigh, casting your gaze down to the ground. "Ever since we presented in English, he's been up my ass."

Your heart drops when you catch sight of the frown on Eddie's face. He speaks before you can ask about it. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't like he'd threaten to jump me until today," you defend.

"No, but, like, why didn't you tell me when it first started happening? I could've helped."

You laugh. "You helped today."

"I'm being serious." It leaves Eddie's throat in almost a growl and he's fingers wrap around your chin tip of his thumb gingerly grazing where your lip split.

You wince just a little at the touch. "There were so many other things I had to focus on. I just--I didn't think it was a big deal."

"And now you're handsome little face is bruised to all hell," Eddie sighs. He gets that other things were higher priority for you but damn it hurts worse to see you injured.

"I'm tough," you laugh.

"You are. You've always been, but goddamn, I don't want to have to be."

You watch his face, eyes flickering over the injuries you've noticeably sustained. "Don't look at me like that," you sigh. His eyes ooze with regret and a little bit of sadness. He doesn't look at you like you're fragile, but he he does look at you like the whole world might reside in the expanse of your being. "My heart won't be able to take it," you tease.

Eddie grins, it's short lived, his face no doubt sore too. "C'mon," he states gingerly, hands interlacing with yours and pulling you in the direction of the front doors.

"We have nurse passes and then ISS."

"The school can kiss my ass. No doubt she's not done patching up the airhead jocks."

You continue to trail behind Eddie, glancing every couple of seconds to see if the doors will open again. "They're going to go to the ISS room and we're not going to be there."

"I'll call up to the nurse's office. She'll get our work."

"Don't tell me you used the Munson boyish charm on Mrs. Yeates. Poor sweet Yeates subjected to your wilds is unfair. Her late husband's been dead longer than we've been alive."

Eddie snorts at your taunts. "She's one of the few people left at this school that gives a shit about me. She scratches my back, I scratch hers."

"That--but not like that that, you know?"

"Mrs. Yeates very occasionally buys, most of the time I help her out with stuff around the office or her house."

"The school nurse?" you whisper, finding your keys in your pocket. You're thankful now that they didn't fall out or get trashed in the fight. "Buys? From you?"

"She tips well too," Eddie laughs. "Meet me at my place. You can still see, right?"

You nod. "Yeah, but I should be asking you that?"

"If you see Hopper just floor it. The man loves a good speed chase."

You're not shocked that Eddie would know that. So you leave it be and settle yourself in the driver seat before following Eddie out of the parking school lot.

At his trailer, Eddie hoists you up onto the counter. And it's less he does it all himself, you help, but when he pats the side of the sink, hands running under the water, you slip up onto it and his hands hover to make sure you don't fall.

He's gentle as he dabs off the dried blood. His warning that the cleanser is going to sting comes from softly in his chest and you grip the edge of the counter to keep from jerking away too much at the sting. It's soothed by Eddie's hand along your thigh. "You did good," he praises, flipping through the content of the first aid kit.

He fishes out the ointment, finding q-tips to apply it. The cut on your cheek is cleansed and bandaged too before Eddie works on himself in his reflection. All the while you sit and watch. His eye doesn't look nearly as bad as Josh's but it still doesn't look great. You slip down as Eddie moves to get his cuts bandaged up to find the frozen peas you know are still probably haunting the freezer for these exact purposes. Your knuckles are in great shape, but they'll be okay.

You return to the bathroom to hand the bag over to Eddie. "For your eye," you tell him.

Eddie laughs. "I can't exactly suck you off and hold a bag of peas to my face at the same time."

The brashness catches you off guard, your mouth hanging open like a fish for a moment. "What-what are you talking about?"

Eddie hooks a finger into the collar of your shirt bringing your chest firmly against his. "You have been a goddamn tease this entire week. New cologne."

"It's actually old. I only wear it fancy occasions." That isn't a lie, but it's not fully true either.

"Tight jeans."

"I-I hadn't done laundry yet." Absolutely that one is a lie, but those jeans are usually reserved for the bottom of the barrel for that specific reason. It does help that you had a feeling the outline of your bulge would set Eddie off.

"A button up that wasn't even worthy of the title of shirt considering how many buttons you had undone."

"It gets hot in the school," you defend. And that is true. Once the heat is turned on in the school, it is on and it is boiling hot.

"Rings," Eddie continues to list off.

"Okay, that was on purpose." You'll concede that point but not the others as you enjoy the way Eddie walks you out of the bathroom, pausing to get the peas back into the freezer and then continuing back to his room.

"And that goddamn tight muscle t-shirt Tuesday night."

"The bar gets stuffy, Eds." Another piece of the truth tainted in a tiny bit of a lie. You wouldn't be oblivious to the fact that the muscle tee did show off your biceps and you would, and did, use that to your advantage.

Eddie brings you, not by dragging but by stalking so you walk backwards throughout the trailer to his bedroom, kicking the door close with his foot. "Over my dead body," Eddie laughs. He closes in, like he wants to kiss you but he knows it's going to cause too much pain.

"On the bed. Now."

You debate only for a moment what you're going to do but then turn and walk to the edge of his bed before you sit. The last thing you're going to do is deny him or yourself the pleasure of this experience. Though you weren't sure how far it would or could go given your injuries, you'd take the risk of pushing the envelope.

Eddie crouches down into your space, nose gently bumping over yours. "You had and go get punched, which means in order to spare your pain I can't kiss you properly."

"I didn't ask for it," you retort, intent on keeping the story line straight. Jason had started it but you'd finish it.

"I know. I just need to know though. What will you ask for?" The question is paired with Eddie's hands tugging your shirt up and out of your tucked in jeans.

"You." It's one word that falls from your chest in a whisper but it carries with it everything.

Eddie makes quick work of your t-shirt, discarding it haphazardly to the floor. His fingers skate down your chest, teasing your nipple and you hitch up, a groan knocking at your chest at the sensation. You can feel a throbbing--now the dull ache of your sore face and hard cock mingling together as Eddie disrobes you. His touch is gentle and sure, but his pace is quick. He is tender but he is not wasting time.

You reach out for his bicep as you pushes you back further up on the bed, dull fingernails digging into the flesh and muscle. Eddie laughs at the way you moan out his name. It sounds like music, but Eddie finds glee in the way you melt for him.

"I would apologize for how hasty this is, but I think you're too blissed out to even care," Eddie whispers into the skin of your neck.

"I-" you swallow down part of the moan that works up your throat at the suckle of Eddie's plumps lips. "Fuck, I really don't care."

"Figured as much," Eddie laughs. He kisses down your chest, working your jeans and boxers down too. The sight of you, hard and leaking onto your own stomach makes Eddie's mouth salivate and his own cock to twitch in his pants. "Fuck," he whispers before taking you into his mouth.

You throw your head back, and the throbbing that he'd pushed aside for the moment comes rushing back again so you angle your head down again and huff as the work of Eddie's tongue over you. His free hand keeps tight on your pelvis, pressing you down into the mattress as everything in you wants to rut up into the warmth of his mouth. his spongy tongue runs along the underside of your cock and it makes you see stars.

It's lewd--the sounds Eddie ms making but you don't care as you join in, your groans bursting from your chest. You're not going to last long, not with the way Eddie's tongue and hand are working over you.

You teeter right on the edge before Eddie pulls away firmly. "You fucker," you huff, the last tense edge of your impending orgasm floating away.

"I want to watch you when you cum," he states. It's even and measured no hesitation or uncertainty.

Eddie spits into his hand before grasping you again and he watches, every twitch of your face, every time your jaw goes slack--Eddie watches it all and the blinding edge comes back. You can feel it in your toes.

"Shit." It's all you can muster and his name falls broken just behind it.

"That's it," Eddie encourages. "That's what I want," he smiles, when the first hot spurt hits his hand. "Give me all you've got."

His hand keeps an steady stroke over you and you don't have any air to tell Eddie you can't come anymore, that you have given everything and then he lets go and you think you've plummeted back into the stratosphere all the way down back to Eddie's bed.

The frame creaks and then something warm and soft is against you. You realize now, probably a cloth to clean up the mess you've made. It's not until Eddie returns to the bed, how he brings your naked chest up into his chest--now stripped over the t-shirt he'd put on this morning--that you start to regather your thoughts again.

"Give me five and you're next," you mutter into his chest.

"I'll give you ten so I can ice my eye."

"Sounds perfect."

[turtletaubwrites]

With your message about ur mental health and stuff, thank you for putting that out there. Mental health is extremely important, and it’s good to prioritize that. On that note, it brings me such joy that you have a community here and that you enjoy writing as much as I enjoy reading your stories. Genuinely, if you ever need to reach out or rant to anyone, there is a community of people here for you. We really value the time you put into your stories. The care you put into the characters and the plot. Thank you for the check in. On that note, ahhhhhh I love numbers game so much! Also I’m the same way with the white beard pirates. I love their dynamic so much and ahhh I won’t go too into now since I don’t wanna get you off track. Just know when it’s the white beard pirates time to shine I will be here!!!!!

- ⭐️ anon

😭😭😭😭😭 Thank you!! It means so much to me that y'all are here hanging out, reading my words, AND being so dang kind!! 😭🙏🏼

I'm also so grateful that I can be open about my mental health here. I do my best to tag it, and "keep reading" the heavy or in depth stuff, but it is so lovely. I used to be incredibly open and outspoken about mental health awareness, and would discuss my diagnoses publicly (even did some keynote speaking about it), but that was before I got my BIG diagnoses 3-4 years ago, and with my current job, I haven't felt comfortable speaking openly about it. It makes me pretty dang grumpy.

Unfortunately there's still a lot of stigma surrounding Bipolar and OCD. I've been open about PTSD and ADHD, but haven't felt safe enough to share the others.

Thank you for letting me have space for this, it means the world to me!

And yes, don't get me distracted! Lol, not that anything could pull me away from NUMBERS GAME right now, but you keep putting the Whitebeard Pirates in my head!!!

You are the loveliest, ⭐ anon! I hope you have big smiles today!

~ Lynna 💜✨

Below the cut is an update on my current mental health, and possible episode. It is a personal vent about the yuck, so please, please don't read it if you're not down for a dump at the moment! I will not be offended if you scroll past! (cw bipolar, cw mixed episode, cw vent post)

Tumblr is really weird about the cut sliding around on ask posts for some reason, so if you see any text below this, please scroll past it!

Thank you so much for the kind words!!

It's rough out here.

I already have a hard time doing things. ANY things. Executive dysfunction with ADHD is one of the biggest struggles I've dealt with my entire life.

Right now though, it's all piling up. Friends and loved ones texts and calls. Random life tasks and responsibilities. Work tasks put off (and my company falling apart isn't helping me with that motivation 😩). Job hunting is not happening as it should.

My physical health is not great right now, and it's making it more difficult for me to want to participate in the outside world.

I have a feeling I'm in another mixed episode (a lovely cocktail of mania and depression 🙃). The intense hyperfixation that is going beyond the adhd levels, plus the espresso depresso times point to that.

Or maybe I'm just focusing on the thing that is bringing me comfort and joy during this difficult time.

Either way, all I want to do is write. I'm working with my therapist on pushing myself back into doing other things in the world. I'm going to visit family this weekend. I'm slowly, slowly getting there.

But honestly, I'm just so grateful to have this right now. To have these stories, to have people read them and enjoy them, and talk to me about them. I've never had a hobby or hyperfixation that was so rewarding, healing, or this long term. I know that I would not be doing well with my current circumstances if I didn't have these stories running through my brain everyday, and the satisfaction of capturing and sharing them.

Life sucks (not always, lol 🙃), but we find the things that make it bearable. That give us some joy.

Right now, that's Cross Guild smut & angst 😅

And all of you kind, funny, wonderful people in this lil corner of the internet.

You have no idea how much it means to me 💜💜💜

[furbywrites]

I'd Never Let You Go Pt. 2

Okay, so I had writers block for what felt like ages, but this chapter came to me so easily. It felt nice. Next chapter we get to meet Ellie! Yay! Once again, feedback/constructive criticism is welcome! :D

Ao3

I could hear him release a deep sigh, but he continued to walk with me. "You're real quiet, ya' know that?" he huffed, sounding almost annoyed. I frowned but said nothing. "Jus' wanna talk is all. Ya' don't gotta run from me."

My mouth opened, gaze still fixed steadily on my own boots, but no words would come. Anxiety constricted my throat, allowing only a pathetic squeak to pass my lips.

Why couldn't I be normal? I've seen plenty of people talk to Joel, smile at Joel, flirt with Joel. Sure he ignored most of them, giving a tight lipped smile and a polite, "Pardon me," before extracting himself from the conversation. At least they had tried, had been capable of even saying one word.

Some part of my brain felt broken at times, especially when it came to communication. Sometimes I'd go so long without speaking a single word, that when I finally managed, my voice sounded more like the croaking of a frog than that of a human.

Right now, with Joel by my side, keeping pace with my aimless steps, I tried. My mouth opened, gaping like a fish seeking water, but nothing but a frustrated grunt was to be heard. I couldn't do it. Something so simple for everyone around me, and I couldn't do it.

I could feel the tears finally overflow, as I sniffled loudly. A quick glance in Joel's direction showed his eyes widening in...what? Shock? I never was very good at reading people. It seemed an accurate guess though.

A hand, heavy and warm, placed itself upon my shoulder, and suddenly he was in front of me, standing, and we weren't walking anymore.

"I didn't mean to scare you, darlin'." His eyes, so big and brown and soft. I only realized I was looking into them when I felt myself getting lost in his gaze. Quickly, my eyes moved to his shoulder, where they usually ended up in the unforeseen circumstance of conversation.

I didn't necessarily have an issue with eye contact, quite the opposite. I overcompensated. Stared unfalteringly. People said it was unnerving, and so I stopped. Humiliated at yet again breaking some unknown social cue I did not inherently know.

I did not want to make Joel, the man of my fascinations, of my wandering mind, of my daydreams, unnerved. So, his shoulder seemed a good place to look.

With his eyes no longer a distraction, my mind instead focused on his hand upon my shoulder. It felt...nice. Surprisingly so. I had no one in Jackson I was close to. No one to touch. Perhaps it was getting to me, because just the warmth of his hand through my sweater had thoughts of burying my head into his chest running amok in my head.

I swallowed thickly, mind racing, and with a sharp inhale I brought myself back to the present moment. Sometimes I got lost in my head. A bad habit.

I didn't know how to convey without words that he hadn't scared me. Despite his reputation, and boy did he have one, he wasn't scary, at least not to me. Perhaps it was his interactions with Ellie I constantly observed from afar. But he seemed so soft in those moments, so kind.

I simply placed my hand upon his, giving a slight squeeze, and a tight lipped smile. Hoping he would understand. Again, I found myself getting lost, but not in my head, instead at the feeling of his rough skin on mine. A violent shiver went through me at the contact. Yes, clearly touch starved. The thought made me frown.

Before I could comprehend it, his hand was gone, being replaced by something heavy around my shoulders. His jacket? Had I been stuck in my head so long I'd missed something important?

Finally I looked into his eyes once more. My confusion must have been evident, because he simply huffed at my expression.

"You were shiverin', looked cold." He spoke so matter-of-factly, assuredly, despite being wrong. I wasn't cold, though it's not as though I could voice this to him, not that I would. It was a kind gesture, and his eyes looked so soft as he gazed at me, I found myself smiling, tears long forgotten.

He mirrored my smile, though much more subdued. The crows feet at the corners of his eyes crinkled slightly. Cute. I blushed again at the thought.

"You never finished eating. Ya' must still be hungry?"

Eyes still locked on his, I nodded dumbly, currently distracted with the scent coming from his jacket. How did I only just notice? Did he smell this good? It couldn't just be the jacket. My face felt like it was on fire. Why couldn't I focus?

"Come on then, you can sit with me an' Ellie." His hand on my shoulder again, this time gently turning me around, leading me back to the canteen. "She wanted to meet ya' anyway."

[iridawn]

Time Keeps On Slipping

wahoo new jewel box lite entry! honestly i was gonna write more of chapter 9 of SBS/edit chapter 8 of BFS but i kinda got into a funky headspace and i dunno if ive got it in me RIGHT right now. maybe a bit later.

i decided to kinda wind myself down by writing something cute and rough. it's not really anything crazy or super concrete, i just thought of the concept and wanted to put make it. so now im sharing it! its not perfect, but eh, sometimes you just wanna write something a bit imperfect. it's fun

dawn gets a lil too focused on taking notes and studying her matches, so irida comes in and helps her snap out of it, so to speak

“Dawn?”

Dawn shot up in her seat, as she didn’t realize how slouched she was. Dawn was engulfed in taking notes - she was studying some previous matches from the last Champion Summit again. It was something she felt helped a lot, honestly.

She had really given her all in these ones, but she really wanted to crack the code on what went wrong, what she could do better, the works. Analyzing her own choices, everything that happened, would give her a better idea of what to focus on in the future.

Dawn had even been studying the matches of her opponents, who they faced, the works. She was making as many detailed notes as she could. And so, she had kind of tucked herself away in the spare room that was mostly just used as a room for whenever Dawn needed to crack down and study her matches. She had her laptop set up, her rather large notebook that she kept notes like this in, the works. And she had been working away for quite some time.

Irida, now, stood in the doorway to that room, staring at her with an expression that was a mixture of concern and seriousness.

“Wha?” Dawn blinked for a second, before shaking her head and easing into a smile. “Oh, Irida. What’s up?”

“I just wanted to check in, since I had been out today, but… How long have you been at that?”

“…A ‘lil bit, I guess.” Dawn tried to think about how much time had passed, but it really had been a while. She scratched her head, but it really had been a while now. “I haven’t kept too much track of the time, admittedly. Let me see…”

She started bright and early at 8:30, knowing that this process could take a while (especially with how thorough she was), but lost track of time as she got invested into it. Taking out her phone, Dawn looked at the time. It was now…

Her eyes widened. “Uhhh…”

It was 8:30 PM. As in it had been twelve hours.

“…Guess it’s been a bit, heh.” Dawn grinned nervously as she recognized the time. “Sorry about that. You know I get invested into this…”

Irida nodded. “That I do, but… did you eat, Dawn?”

She felt nervous once more. “…I had a light snack earlier, does that count?”

Irida’s worried expression only grew. That was a no, she assumed. Dawn gave a small, defeated grumble as she rubbed the back of her head.

“…I just gotta do a bit more, really. Then I’ll stop. I just want to make sure I understand everything I did, and it’s not like I’m all that beat up about it, cause I did great. It’s just important to study, and-“

Dawn was interrupted by a very loud sigh as Irida came over, and without warning, effortlessly picked Dawn up off the chair and scooped her into a princess carry. “Hey!!!!!!!”

“…You’re surprisingly easy to pick up.” She looked surprised by the fact.

Dawn rolled her eyes. “Not all of us trained with Gaeric, y’know.”

A light giggle came out of Irida. “Well, that’s true. But still, you need to rest.”

Irida carried Dawn, who truthfully, didn’t resist much. She did feel very embarrassed at the situation, but part of it was kind of romantic, with Irida literally sweeping her off her feet and carrying her like this. That seemed to distract her enough, really.

Irida brought Dawn up to their room before putting her into the bed and under the covers.

Suddenly, every single feeling of exhaustion Dawn had seemingly been suppressing hit her all at once, now that she was actually lying down.

“Ooooohhhhhh…” Dawn sunk into the bed, her entire body practically becoming motionless. Irida gave a light laugh as she slipped into bed besides Dawn, snuggling up nice and close.

“I know you can get absorbed in that, is all. Believe me, Dawn. I’ve been there before. But it’s important to take care of yourself, too.”

Dawn smiled weakly, wrapping her arms around Irida. “Yeah, I just… tend to fixate on it, I guess. I’m always bad at following my own advice, heh.”

“I’m always happy to help you remember it, then.” Irida gave Dawn a soft kiss on the cheek. “After all, I want my shooting star to be as happy and healthy as she can be.”

Letting out a happy sigh, Dawn closed her eyes, nuzzling her head onto Irida’s shoulder. “And I’m very thankful my shining pearl is as sweet as she is. I love you, Irida…”

Irida planted a light kiss on the top of her head. “I love you too, Dawn.”

Dawn was grateful for Irida bringing herself back down to Earth, so to speak. It was very easy for her to get incredibly lost in what she was doing, and she knew it was easy for Irida to do the same. After all, she’d do something similar whenever Irida would get lost in her own worries back in Hisui, or anything like that, really. It was nice that Irida was able to do the same thing for her.

They enjoyed the soft embrace for a few seconds, before a small realization hit Dawn.

“…you think there’s any places open for food? I’d make something, but…”

Irida giggled as Dawn looked up at her. “Well, I figured we could place an order very soon. I think with how hard you’ve worked, you deserve something nice. Not like I’d know where to go, anyway…” Irida snuggled in closer. “But I’d rather cuddle for a few minutes, first. I haven’t gotten to do this all day…”

“Heh. Fair enough.”

And so, they enjoyed the warmth of one another, with Dawn feeling very grateful (and very, very tired). The two would worry about ordering something later - they just wanted to enjoy this embrace, with Dawn truly happy she fell in love with someone so amazing and supportive.

It was just nice, really. And she appreciated that.

(The two, later, ordered a simple pizza from one of Dawn's favorite places. After all, she had worked very hard today. She deserved a nice treat.)

[lessoneislessthannow]

What really just blows the most about this situation . . .

Is that you're my fucking best friend, the one person on this earth that truly loved me, invested your everything in, because you know me better than that, because you know that isn't who I am and that wasn't me at my greatest potential. . .

Having to accept that I played a very large role into forcing you to sink with me or leave and we'd both have to learn how to swim, or ultimately sink.

And baby you were my world, HELD always be my person, every time I force myself to learn something I know would come easily to you, I want to call you and just give you praises for all the really fucking hard shit I didn't fucking see right in front of me were things I needed to learn too?! Yeah HOLY SHIT MAN HOW'D YOU LEARN TO DO ALL THIS? I KNOW NO ONE REALLY HELD YOUR HAND AND TAUGHT IT TO YOU EITHER. FUCK THIS SHIT GETS ROUGH SOME TIMES!

I'm sorry I was so sick and so stubborn and so spoiled and too fucking stupid not to have gotten on the learning curve with you ... moving to the springs A LESSON THAT I NEEDED TO LEARN TWICE before I woke the fuck up, realized I'm almost thirty and not well versed in nearly any of the trillions of topics we used to coverse about when we were mere teenagers.

I caught up really fast, and I'm not claiming to know the answers or how to do this correctly but if anyone wants to shed some advice or any tips they're greatly appreciated and welcomed.

I had to wake the fuck up, get the fuck better, fix all the faulty wiring, that was hard to do when everything I ever knew of life was now no longer any semblance of what I was awoken to. . . And then it's just been me, the few useful tricks and hacks I've picked up along the way, and then the actual sheer motivation to be me again, to not give up cause I don't know how, fuck it I said I'll fucking learn how to. And at that point, there was no purpose in delaying the test. So I signed up, studied the fundamentals I'd need within the given week I allotted my time to brush up before the big day

I gotta say...

I'm pretty fucking sure I'm acing it

As a whole, without the lessons or the absolute lack of experience. I just keep relying on the fundamentals and keeping my head collected and focused.

The focus is hard because I'm still distracted by you every time you return another section up to the desk cause I'm proud of you, in awe of you, and your sexy ass makes it hard not to touch.

But i don't wanna fail us both again, so I'm still here answering the problems in my section. We'll catch up and chat when the break bell rings and I'll get your mind distracted for a minute or two. But you better believe we're not skipping sections and we're not cheating on this test, if we both give our bests, we are inevitably bound to break record scores when it's all turned in for grading.

I'm gonna catch up to you eventually there's nothing else to do. Hell for my sake just admit I'm scoring higher than you in a few of these.

Some of the problems tend to require more scratch paper than supply, and some of them are so obvious, in retrospect, I wanna beat myself up for wasting time tripping up. Then there are some I force myself to solve for the akalade of achieving but no actual points scored... you always knew how to spot those and skip right over them. I like that about you...

Hell I am itching to know what was going on inside that beautiful fucking mind. But I've got my own test to take, so I'll restimulate my mind on my own page for now.

Do I ever pop into your mind and get your thoughts a little of track?

Cause now that I'm focusing in again, I need to address my original topic at hand.

WHAT FUCKING BLOWS is that I was too sick, too stupid, too fucking knows wtf was going on there... we already aced half this fucking test when we signed up to take it as a team, together. We had it in the bag, but I blew that for us, and other distractions were messing with our minds and we just decided to flunk out together thinking that I'd be better or easier for us to to restart it alone?!

That's fucking insanity, I should have kept my smart mouth shut the fuck up, you could have been a little more patient at times, but we had this all in the bag together, and we were young, why did we decide to compete against another when we'll never actually get to see our overall score. But it feels fucking stupid to be over here struggling on stupid shit your mind calculates like addition and subtraction, why didn't I help you more with some of these questions... if we had worked them out together we woulda solved it simply. Well we decided to flunk out and go at it alone.

Now that the times passed it all seemed to happen so quick.

It just makes me fucking sick to wonder what if we both gave it a go together now that my scores prove my ability to compete at your level, they always were and have been I just kept getting test anxiety and was fucking around getting distracted. . . I keep telling myself, you'll never be able to ace yours to your fullest ability if you were to go at it with me again. But then I sit here sometime and think though, you're biggest obstacle is only ever you and I may have just used all my detective work you said was useless wasted time, but I kept searching shit kid I'm sorry but this is the secret, it's called happiness, you really can insist on nothing but true happiness for yourself and to be surrounded by it. But i found the cheat sheet, and were not gonna copy it down line by line but it is a guarantee to acing 50% of the whole thing. And with the knowledge I was wasting my mind away acquiring... I learned a whole Lotta other useful shit for these questions were gonna waste our lives away answering... what if we just tried it together in a practiceround. What if we're the missing part that is always somehow messing with our minds and getting us distracted again.

This is stupid I shouldn't be thinking like this... i had to redefine and learn an entirely new vocabulary in order to qualify to test on my own. So now happiness is all things I choose to distract me from memories I once felt so incapacitated by to even open up the books I needed to study, and those memories had to be reprogrammed in a faulty but functional foreign language... now our memories are Beautiful to me and they don't hurt to the point I can't keep up with the race, they just are beautiful years of my beautifully broken but big Shiney and new life...

Damn, sometimes you just can't teach an old dog new tricks. I gotta restart my mind and keep it off these thoughts.

Any way kid, I'm so proud of you. I hope you're hanging in there...

The break period bell is gonna ring real soon...

I'll catch you then.

Love you always

[kate-les-bridge-stewart]

Ok so today has been extremely rough for me so I wanted to vent a little by writing a short fanfic. Also warning that this will likely be horribly written and nonsensical. I'm normally pretty good at writing but right now I dont have the energy to put tons of effort into this, I just wanna make something to comfort myself without stressing out over how other people will perceive it.

For context this will basically be a kidfic with the kid in question being an oc. They're name is Nym, they're an alien that 13 and yaz adopted as a baby. Their age is roughly around 12 to 13 but they speak weirdly for reasons that I dont feel like explaining (mostly for the above mentioned lack of energy). For the sake of imagery they look like a small centaur version of those horse zebra things from avatar (the blue people movie).

TW: suicidal thoughts

~~~

The doctor was laying under the console tinkering with some wires, her hair tied back in a messy ponytail and a pair of pliers clutched in her teeth. Her ears perked up at the familiar sound of tiny hooves clicking against the floor towards her. She rolled out from under the console and moved her goggles to her forehead to greet the tiny blue alien she knew and loved.

"Hello there Nym! Been a while since I've-" her sentence was abruptly stopped when she noticed a visible frown on her child's face. Her tone rapidly shifted to concern as she shot upright, tossing her goggles and tools to the side and crouching in front of Nym.

"What's the matter sweetie? You look upset," she said as she went to cup the child's cheek and rest her other hand on their shoulder.

Nym was startled at her sudden concern, not being used to someone being so eager to help them.

"I-I... I dont... I dont know... I just suddenly started feeling really sad... there were all these scary thoughts in my head and i couldnt make them stop..."

"Do you think you could tell me what some of them were?" The doctor grew more concerned at the prospect of what these scary thoughts could be. She knew Nym had a very traumatic past, a life full of events which nobody, let alone a young child, should ever have to go through.

"I... I was thinking.... what would happen if I suddenly died tomorrow? What would I do if I knew I was gonna die? Would anybody care? Am I just looking for attention? What's even the point of living if I'm just gonna be miserable all the time?! Why am I alive?!" They grew progressively louder as tears began pouring down their face.

The doctor quickly pulled them into a tight hug which they clumsily reciprocated, grasping and clinging to the doctor as if they were being pulled away by some invisible, evil force.

"Why does it hurt?! Why?! Why mama?! Why wont it stop?! Why can't I control my thoughts?!!"

The doctor was shocked, disturbed by the shocking nature of these intrusions. She felt like they were some cruel being trying to hurt her baby and that filled her with a million unfathomable emotions. Despite her rage at these cruel thoughts torturing her sweetheart she prioritized soothing their pain first and foremost.

"Hush hush, shhh... easy now..." she tried to gently put a stop to Nym's intrusive stream of consciousness, rubbing their back and tucking their face into her chest.

"I know it's hard, I know. I know how your own thoughts can be so cruel to you. Just listen," she suddenly got an idea. "Look around the tardis, what colors do you see?"

Nym hesitated for a moment, trying to blink away the tears that had blurred their vision and clear their throat. "Um... blue..?"

"You're right theres blue, a lot of it too. What else?" The doctor said gently as she stroked Nym's hair, still pressing their head to her chest.

"Orange... and yellow... and some red.. why are you doing this?" They asked softly as they looked up at the doctor's face.

"I'm using a technique called 'grounding.' Its where you distract yourself from your thoughts by observing and focusing on your environment or something else. I find it helps me a lot when I feel the way you do. I also like doing math problems in my head but I dont think youd like that." She tried to lighten the mood slightly. "Do you think its helping?"

Nym thought for a moment. "Well, I feel a little better... I feel too tired to think now..." they tucked their face back into the doctor's chest.

"That's ok sweetheart, you dont need to keep going. Just try to focus on me. Listen to my hearts. Try to focus on something to keep your mind distracted. I'll stay with you as long as you need."

She shifted their position so they were more comfortable. The doctor now sat on the floor with Nym cuddled into her, her arms enveloping them as far as they could reach. Nym listened to their mama's advice and pressed their ear to her chest, focusing their attention on the rhythmic thumps of her hearts. With the gentle hum of the tardis they found it incredibly relaxing.

Thump thump thump thump... thump thump thump thump...

The pattern was simple, predictable. In that predictability they found comfort and solace, further soothed by the knowledge that it was the sound of their mother, alive and close, as close as she could possibly be. It was the sound of safety and warmth, love and affection. Though their biology couldnt be more disconnected, she was no less their mother.

~~~

That's all I have the energy to write. Now I'm gonna go hug a pillow while I watch skyrim let's plays to relax after this arduous work day...

[perce]

maybe that bad news was just like, a final straw, and this is a mild emotional shutdown? cant tell

[sargeant-bxrnes]

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

warnings: rafe being… rafe. drug mention & consumption, cursing, toxic relationship, sexual situations/implications, mental health issues. ANGST.

[AN: this is the first thing i’ve written, ever, so my apologies if it’s not flawless ; also, english is not my first language, that’s a warning on its own]

my requests are open btw

click for my master list

word count: 4.4K

Called you on the phone today

Just to ask you how you were

All I did was speak normally

Somehow I still struck a nerve

“Hey,” you said in a soft tone as soon as Rafe picked up the phone, you were laying down on your bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Hey princess,” his tone was calm, but his voice was rough and raspy all together.

“How you doing?” you asked him, even though you’d seen him last night, up close.

“I’m doing great,” he replied in a surprisingly cheerful tone, which is weird this early in the morning. Rafe is not a morning person. “You sound tired.”

“I am tired,” you confirmed with a sigh. “Guess I have you to thank for that.”

“My pleasure.” he replied cockily, and even though you couldn’t see him, you could practically hear his proud smirk.

“So, what’s the plan today?” you asked in a casual tone, fidgeting with the edge of Rafe’s shirt, the one you wore to sleep.

“Uh, what do you mean?” he asked in a distracted tone, he sniffed subtly and coughed.

You knew what that meant, but still, you hoped it wasn’t what you deep down knew it was.

“Yeah, I mean—“ you said and made a brief pause. “Wanna go to the club? Maybe we can take a ride on the boat, you know, with food, alcohol... just us.”

“Can’t, I’m busy.” he said after a few seconds, if you didn’t know him better and his occasional mood swings, you would’ve said his tone was harsh.

"Really?" you asked in a soft tone, trying to disguise your disappointment with interest. "But I thought we were going out together today."

"Y/N, just because I'm your boyfriend it doesn't mean I have to be with you all the fucking time."

Okay, now he was definitely angry, you thought you said the right thing, but it still made him angry.

"Rafe-"

"No, Y/N. I have a life of my own, you know? Things to do besides you."

“That’s okay Rafe, I get it,” You said calmly, nodding your head softly. “Have fun today.”

Now you clearly heard the sound of him sniffing something and the sigh that left his lips after, and Barry’s voice in the background. “Don’t play the victim card on me, that’s not gonna work. I deserve to have some time off.”

“I didn’t,” you said softly. “And it’s okay baby, you’re right, you deserve to have some fun.”

“See? No need to be so fucking dramatic,” he said, his voice and words slurring. You? Dramatic? It was all him. “But don’t worry princess, I’ll drop by tonight and fuck the attitude out of you, yeah? That way I’m not just doing things with you, I’m doing you.”

And with such a vulgar comment and a harsh tone, Rafe hung up on you, leaving you completely dumbfounded and filled with incredulity.

What you did know for a fact, is that he would keep up his word. And judging by his tone of voice and how annoyed he was, you could already imagine the ache between your legs.

You got me fucked up in the head, boy

Never doubted myself so much

Like, am I pretty? Am I fun, boy?

I hate that I give you power over that kind of stuff

You knew exactly what you were getting into when you started hooking up with Rafe, and what you were committing to when you agreed to be his girlfriend.

You know that man carries more problems than he shows, he prefers to make himself appear as the Kook prince who lives a life of partying and money; hiding all the things that were going on in his head.

However, there were times when his attitude made you doubt yourself.

You couldn't help but think, ‘What if one day I don't manage to calm him down?’ ‘What if one day he realizes that there is someone prettier, or hotter, or wealthier out there?’

And Rafe would get angry if you doubted yourself. He would complain to you about it, saying you had no reason to be insecure about your looks; if you are absolutely gorgeous, or to feel insecure about your personality; if you were the most genuine person he'd ever met, and you could make him laugh until he forgot all his problems.

But what really made him furious was when you had doubts about the relationship itself, about whether or not he was capable of leaving you for someone else. He took those doubts personally, as if he wasn't trying hard enough to show you how much you mean to him.

When in reality; you were doubting yourself.

'Cause it's always one step forward

You were preparing dinner for you and Rafe, your family was out for the weekend, and Rafe had decided to spend it with you.

Your hair was tied up in a bun, your attire consisted of nothing but your underwear and a shirt that used to be Rafe's, but you took it so long ago that it's yours now.

Music from your shared playlist played in the background, as you danced absentmindedly with a spatula in hand, extremely calm and enjoying time with your boyfriend.

Rafe could do nothing but stare at you with admiration, you are literally the only good thing in his life; his little piece of heaven. You are everything to him.

As soon as Dark Red by Steve Lacy started playing, you let out an excited gasp. That song in particular is Rafe’s and yours, like… if you two had to choose a song to describe your relationship, it would be that one. It represented how you two did not always have good times, but your love prevailed.

Seeing you this happy, comfortable and at ease with him made Rafe's soul happy. All his life, he had done nothing else besides make people angry, disappointed, terrified. But with you, everything was different.

You were so focused on swaying your hips to the music and singing, that you didn't notice when Rafe stood up and walked over to where you were.

It wasn't until he stood behind you, chest to back and with his hands on your hips, that you realized he was closer. His head was bowed, you could feel his breathing close to your ear, so he was able to murmur in your ear the lyrics of the song:

“Only you, my girl, only you, babe,” he sang in your ear, his voice a soft whisper as he wrapped his arms around your body and started to sway with you. “Only you, darling, only you, babe.”

The gesture quickened your heart to unsuspected levels, you felt your knees weaken as you pressed closer to his body, appreciating his closeness as he pressed a kiss against your temple.

“You know I love you so much, right?” he mumbled in your ear, as you closed your eyes and relished his presence.

“I love you too, baby.”  you mumbled back, leaning your head against his chest, caressing one of his arms around your waist with your fingertips, and bringing your hand to his ash blond hair, stroking it softly.

and three steps back

“Why is he mad at you, again?” Topper asked you with a raised eyebrow, after witnessing Rafe utterly avoiding even looking at you when he walked into the room and then left without a word.

“Because I told Barry to not open the door if Rafe dropped by,” You replied with a shrug, closing your eyes and leaning back against the chair. “And when Rafe tried to lash out on him, Barry said it all had been ‘Mrs.Country Club’s’ request.”

“And he’s mad at you because you don’t want him to get all fucked up?” Topper questioned next, trying to understand the situation. But he never knew what the fuck you two were up to.

“Yes, but it’s Rafe, are you surprised?” you said with a heavy sigh.

“No, not really,” Topper admitted. “Honestly, I don’t know why you keep up with him, Y/N.”

“I ask myself that all the time…” you said with a deep sigh. “But I love him, so I guess that’s the answer.”

“And? I mean, I don’t want to be ‘that guy’ Y/N, but he’s…” Topper trailed off, apparently looking for the right word.

“I know exactly how he is, Topper, I don’t need you to remind me. I already think about that way too much.”

You and Topper had easily assumed that Rafe was no longer around, since he seemed to be making his best efforts to avoid you.

But Rafe was there, and he heard everything. He’d heard Topper giving you bad advice (or what he considered bad advice) And he heard you, having doubts about why you loved him or stood by him at all,and it made him want to lash out again.

I'm the love of your life until I make you mad

It's always one step forward and three steps back

Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy, I don't understand

No, I don't understand

[+18. Really]

“Leave me alone!” his voice boomed in the room, his brows furrowed and the veins in his neck were popping out.

“Rafe—“ you tried once again, approaching slowly in an attempt to place a hand on his shoulder, but he waved it away aggressively.

“Leave-me-alone,” he said, pausing in between each word to emphasize on how much he meant it. His eyes were bloodshot, his nose had specks of white dust, his lips were dry and his voice was coarse.

You weren’t entirely sure what you could say to get him to calm down. Or if there was anything at all you could do.

Normally, what upsets him the most is Ward. His own father. Rafe has spent his whole life trying to prove he's a good son, to make his father proud, and Ward never appreciates his efforts, only notices the bad, and ignores Rafe's clear calls for help, has since Rafe was 10 years old, so he certainly wasn't going to pay attention to him now that Rafe finally had a steady girlfriend, someone who had willingly decided to help.

95% of the time, you managed to talk to Rafe before he decided to resort to intoxication. Most of the time just seeing you helped him calm down, hearing your voice soothed him, and your lips, your skin, put him in a state of peace.

But the other 5% is when Rafe resorted to alcohol and, above all, drugs.

When Rafe is upset and decides to get high, he only manages to become unstable, erratic and yes, aggressive if not handled with care.

In those situations, the best thing you can do, putting yourself first, is to give him his space. Let him screw himself as much as he wants for that day, and help him deal with the consequences the next day, while you listen to him lament his attitude.

Rafe always said he would quit the vice; claiming you were all he needed to calm himself down, that you made him feel at peace. And above all, that you weren't slowly killing him; on the contrary, every minute he spent with you made him feel more alive.

However, for one reason or another, he always came back to it. Whether it was at a party, because Kelce suggested it, or, as is almost always the case, when he's upset with his father and needs quick relief.

And usually, this ‘quick relief’ ends up with Rafe fucked up, big time.

Once he was convinced that you wouldn't try to intervene again, Rafe went back to his business. He turned to the table, and since he already had the line ready, he simply leaned over and inhaled it, throwing his head back, running his hand through his hair and exhaling as he closed his eyes.

You exhaled heavily, shaking your head as you stared at your feet.  You knew he would struggle to quit, after all it is an addiction and he has to fight it, but sometimes you get the impression that Rafe doesn't want to quit, not really.

"Do you want to help me?" asked Rafe eventually, turning his head to look at you. You didn't know if it was a trick question or not, so you hesitated before answering. "Answer me."

"Yes, of course I want to, Rafe." you replied with your respective hesitations, wondering what he was up to.

"Come here then," he said, making a 'come hither’ sign with his fingers.

You took a hesitant step but stopped, your eyes narrowing as you analyzed Rafe, trying to determine his intentions.

He raised both eyebrows in your direction, in a silent question of whether or not you're going to go with him.

Eventually you walked over to where Rafe was, he smiled at you while biting his lip lightly. Without saying anything he approached you and kissed you; the drugs made his senses heighten, so the kiss was intense from the beginning.

So that's when it made sense to you what he wanted, he wanted you. Your most obvious thought is that he would use you to take out your frustration, put the drugs aside and, most likely, fuck you.

Your idea seemed to be the right one as soon as Rafe grabbed you by the waist, still with his lips on yours, left a little bite on your lip before pulling away; and without any problem, lifted you off the floor and placed you on the table.

It's something you wouldn't admit out loud,—mostly out of shame and guilt,—but this kind of sex with Rafe was the best, he's completely unrestrained, rough, full of stamina and teasing, and above all, possessive. And that, in combination with his attractiveness, always drove you crazy.

And honestly; if what he wanted was to fuck you to take out his frustration, you'd let him.

His kisses were hungry and his hands desperate, running all over your body without distinction, as if he didn't know where to start.

He parted his lips from yours, and left a kiss at the corner of them, on your jaw; and began to make a little trail of slow kisses down your neck. The feeling of his lips on your neck made you bite your lip as you wrapped your legs around his waist to feel him closer.

You slid your hand under his shirt, caressing his defined abs and the sides of his body gently with the tips of your fingers, as he left little bites on your neck. Your hands slowly moved up, intending to remove his shirt, but Rafe was quicker and brought his hands to the edge of your shirt, causing you to stop your movements to raise your arms, so he could remove your shirt with ease. And so he did.

He parted his lips from your neck and stared at you, the hunger in his eyes made you feel a fire in the pit of your stomach that only he could put out.

Desperately, your lips connected again as he settled between your legs. One of his hands traveled to your neck, and he wrapped his fingers around it, pressing lightly to the sides. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head; though he couldn't see it.

With just enough strength, Rafe used the grip he had on your neck to push you down onto the table, so that you were lying on top of it.

As soon as he leaned over the table, you could feel his breath over abdomen, so you bit your lip in anticipation for what was to come.

He began to leave slow, wet kisses on your abdomen, making a slow trail to the edge of your shorts. Your automatic reaction was to close your eyes and put a hand in his hair, stroking it gently.

What you didn’t know is that the fact that you closed your eyes had given Rafe an opportunity he couldn't miss. Without you noticing, he slid a hand to the side of the table, where the small bag of white powder was.

To conceal his actions, he unbuttoned your shorts, and returned his lips to the beginning of your abdomen for more time.

The little bite he left to distract your attention caused a gasp to escape your lips; and that sound almost caused him to change plans completely.

He did want to fuck you, don’t get him wrong. He even had a mental debate about whether to continue what he was doing or simply sink his head between your thighs and provoke more sounds like that.

But he wanted to try something first. He had always wanted to try it, but had never asked you, because he knew that you would most likely say no.

With ease, he slid your shorts down your legs; so that they stayed at your ankles or fell to the floor; he didn't care. One of his hands slid into your underwear with ease, his fingers going straight to where he knew you needed him the most.

Trusting that you would not open your eyes, carefully, he put the white substance on your body, so delicately you didn’t notice. He began to prepare to inhale, while biting his lip in reaction to the sinful sounds that left your lips.

And obviously, without warning, Rafe inhaled a line from your thigh.

And all your sounds stopped, your eyes opened and your expression was filled with surprise, the bad kind.

You couldn't believe what Rafe had just done, you felt like an idiot for falling into the trap.

You also had to bite your lip to keep from letting out a moan in reaction to what his fingers were doing in between your legs, but your pride forbade it.

But more than anything else, you were outraged.

“Rafe, you did not just—“

“It felt nice, yeah?” Rafe’s voice was hoarse, you could feel his breath over your skin, as he left little kisses around. “After all, I did feel you clench around my fingers.”

His dirty words, hoarse voice, and close proximity to your body, not to mention his fingers deep inside you, caused you to let out a soft moan, causing Rafe to smirk in what he thought was victory.

But you wouldn't let him win this little game.

Although you really didn't want to, you grabbed his hand by the wrist and pulled him away, your legs trembling slightly at the sudden lack of anything between them.

Rafe's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as soon as you pushed him away from you and got off the table, lifting your shorts off the floor and putting them back on without a word.

"What are you doing?"

You didn't answer, as you searched for  your shirt, feeling his heavy gaze on your body.

"Y/N, where do you think you're going?"

“I’m leaving you alone as you asked me to, remember?” you said in irony. “Before you sniffed a line off me after I begged you to quit that shit?”

“Oh, so now you’re playing the victim?” his voice rose. “Don't- Don’t act as if you wouldn’t have let me fuck you less than a minute ago!”

"Yes I would have let you, to distract you from that shit!" you admitted to him, failing to control your anger. "I said I wanted to help you, to distract you, to give you something different to do. Not that I'd give you another place to snort lines from!"

Rafe knew you were right, of course he did.

You had spent months after months trying to get him to quit, you had offered him countless hours of your days to give him something new to do, distractions, attention and love. And this is how he had decided to pay you back?

But Rafe was angry too, very. You had interrupted him, you were yelling at him; and you had left him so hard, that it would start to hurt unless he did something about it.

“Fine, then get the fuck out of here.” Rafe spat, his anger clearly getting the best of him.

Your eyes widened at that, you hadn't expected him to react like that.

Your best case scenario would be that your attitude would piss him off, yes, but that he would retaliate by getting you back to the table and showing you everything you were missing.

Instead, he simply took your word for it and told you to get out of the room.

“What?”

“You heard me, get out.”

“Rafe—“

“You uh, you have three options, yeah? You let me fuck you over that table and do whatever I want, you get out of here, or I’ll get you out of here.”

The first offer was tempting, it really was, but you wouldn’t allow him to talk to you like that. Before anything, came respect and dignity, and no matter how much you wanted him to fuck you silly, you were too angry and disappointed at him to let it slip.

Blinking repeatedly to chase away the tears from your eyes, you grabbed your phone from the other end of the table, your jacket from Rafe's bed, and walked out of there without another word as you heard him calling your name.

And maybe in some masochistic way

I kinda find it all exciting

Like, which lover will I get today?

Will you walk me to the door or send me home cryin'?

Your relationship with Rafe was unique.

Not because of the circumstances in which it was created. A one-night-stand that turned into something casual, that was formalized after a dinner.

If not for Rafe.

You loved him, no doubt about it. You would give anything to see him happy and at peace, at peace with himself and succeeding in his life.

Rafe would do anything for you, really, anything. No matter how risky, demanding or dangerous, he would do anything for you.

He would die and kill for you.

But that surely didn’t mean it was an easy relationship, hell no. In fact, the willingness both of you had to do anything for each other sometimes made things too complicated; for at times it seemed that not a single rational thought crossed your minds.

And yes, Rafe’s addiction was a big issue. Whenever he was too high, or going through withdrawals, he wasn’t the Rafe you knew or had grown to love, it was another side of him you wanted to help get rid off. And the process wasn’t easy.

While trying to get clean; there was no way to know how he’d behave. He could either get clingy and want you around at all times to calm himself down, or he’d be in a very bad mood all the time, constantly snapping at you and raising his voice.

So there were days where he’d walk you to the door of your house and leave you there with a tender kiss and a smile.

Or days when you’d get out of his truck without a word, with tears streaming down your cheeks while he kept yelling for probably the stupidest thing.

No, it's back and forth, did I say something wrong?

It's back and forth, goin' over everything I said

It's back and forth, did I do something wrong?

'It's back and forth, maybe this is all your fault

Rafe knew he wasn’t okay. After all, he had begged his father for help, begged for anything that would get those thoughts to stop, but his father hadn’t listened, had only told him to ‘man up.’

You knew he wasn’t okay. Which is why you wanted to help him, to offer the support no one else had bothered to give him before he met you.

Whether he wanted it or not, those thoughts were still there. Being with you made them easier to ignore, but it’s not like they vanished entirely. He still had some ideas that made his own skin crawl.

And sometimes, you’d say or do the wrong thing and trigger those thoughts. And things got bad again for him.

Rafe knew you wanted nothing but to help him get better and be the best version of himself, and he really wanted to give you that. To change and make an effort. Not only for himself but for you. He wanted to be a man worthy of your love.

But it was hard to be anywhere near decent when you two went out and a guy stared at you for longer than Rafe’s limits allowed, or when guys tried to hit on you, when his friends got a little bit too close for his comfort.

Whenever he got jealous, he turned into a walking, talking ticking bomb. Anything could, and would set him off.

It wasn’t your fault, not really, but most of the time you felt it was. You knew Rafe dealt with a lot of insecurities already, of not being a nice person, not being good enough and so many other things. And you hated being one of the factors that caused his insecurities to arise.

And I'd leave you, but the roller coaster is all I've ever had

It was a complicated relationship, and it would probably never stop being complicated because both of you are complex people, plus there are other factors that affect the relationship.

But that didn't mean either of you would stop fighting to keep it alive. Neither would let the other go.

Rafe utterly refused to ever let you go. He loved you as he had never loved anyone, as he never thought himself capable of loving with that twisted heart of his.

You are, without exception, the best thing in his life, the best thing that ever happened to him. And you being in his heart was slowly turning him into who he had wanted to be during all those years of loneliness.

And you would never let him go, because you loved him with all your heart, soul and nerve of your body. And because you know that no one will ever love you like him. With so much passion, intensity, honesty and purity.

Because every feeling Rafe expressed with you was true; he was himself with you. And you didn't want to let him go.

Even if the two of you went one step forward, and three steps back, that single step would be longer than any step life makes you take backwards.

[hereforhalstead]

Hungry Eyes

*Gif not mine, credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader 18+

• Requested: Yeeeess by my bestie @halsteadlover who always sets the bar so high and provided me with this.

reader's friend that come to visit her and Jay is jealous but nobody knows about their relationship so he can't even say anything about it and then he corners Reader when they r alone and shows her who she belongs to iykyk kwnejekwnsked i know this is a shitty idea but whit ur writing bestie it'd be ✨ chef's kiss ✨’i

• Warnings: swearing/Daddy kink/smut references

• Summary: Jay gets jealous after an old friend turns up at the district to ask you out for lunch and reminds you who you belong to.

• Words: 4218

• A/N :lysm you’re the best but pls don’t come after me if this disappoints hahah Enjoy🤭

***

You woke up with that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you didn’t like, instantly feeling sick with nerves for no explanation. You tried to start your morning as best and to routine as you could to try and push out the thoughts but nothing worked. 

You made your way into the kitchen to grab some ice out of the freezer for your drink, you found yourself gazing out of the window being transfixed on cars going by. You flinched as you felt a squeeze on your sides, you looked over your shoulder to see Jay’s mischievous smile grinning back at you, a sight that would always put your mind to rest but on this day it wasn’t doing the trick. 

He softly pulled on the round neck of your tshirt, exposing your shoulder to which he placed a light kiss to your skin “Everything alright?” he questioned, still stood behind you as you filled your glass. You nodded in response but you both knew this wasn’t enough for him, you span to exit the kitchen but he stood his ground to block your path.

“You wanna trying lying to me again?” he probed, gently outlining the side of you face with his fingers. You pressed your lips into his cheek but he still wouldn’t budge “Jay, I’m fine” you attempted to reassure but he simply gave a light chuckle in response.

 “Baby, you know I call out people who lie for a job. Right?” You lean your head forward onto his chest and huff “Just one of those days” you mumble into his shirt and he tuts “And you couldn’t tell me that because?”.

You look up at him and roll your eyes “Because doofus, now you’ll be watching my every move when you need to be focusing on yourself” You push your finger into his chest as you speak, he flicks his eyes down onto your hand and then back up to your worried expression “We’ll be fine. Always are, I know how to look out for both of us” he leans in to place a chaste kiss to your lips but you still feel that sinking feeling wasn’t going anywhere fast.

 “How do you always know what to do to make me feel better?” you tease, trying your best to ignore the wave of anxiousness overwhelming your body “It’s just as much of my job as it is to be a detective” he proudly replies and you can’t stop the smile creeping on your face “Smooth” you compliment, earning another toothy grin from your boyfriend 

“Come on you, the quicker we get out of here the quicker we get home”. He slings an arm round your shoulder before stopping to pick up the drink you had previously poured yourself as he calmly reassures “Don’t worry about it. Everything’s gonna be fine”

***

As normal, Jay drops you off in his truck a few roads away from the district. You’d both decided it was best to keep your relationship between yourselves for the time being as god knows word spreads fast within Chicago and Voight would be less than impressed to say the least. 

Seeing how he reacted to Kim and Adam served as a warning of how harsh he can be and implement punishments for the smallest of things. He often eyes the pair of you so you have an inclining he’s caught on but as far as you’re aware you’d gotten away with it so far which seemed a miracle. There’d been a few close encounters, you and Jay getting carried away in the evidence room, one acting out when the other is in danger or the most popular one being when either one of you is hit on and you can’t say a word. 

Jay found this the hardest as Voight encouraged you to use your charm and sarcastic character on suspects, often helping to break their barriers and admit things they didn’t know they were admitting. This came at a cost, you openly flirting with another man in the interview room was now a regular occurrence and to Jay’s dismay he was often sat right by your side as you did so. 

Most of the time you had fun with this as it never took much to get Jay jealous, a simple double take at you had him aggravated within seconds so for you to have taken on the role as ‘Intelligence flirt’ did not sit well with him. You’d considered having words with Voight about it, expressing how it made you uncomfortable but as much as sometimes you didn’t like it, it did often lead to success so you had to put your dignity to one side and do the job at hand. 

It was another one of those days where you were called into the interview room as soon as you walked up the stairs, Jay handing you a paper file as he passes your desk. Just like every morning, acting like you hadn’t been in bed together just a few hours earlier or traipsing round his apartment in nothing but his T-shirt.

“He’s just your type” Kim calls out to you, smirk beaming from her face “and how do you know what my type is?” you sarcastically respond, eyebrow cocked in confidence “Believe me, I know what your type is” she is quick to reply, already back focusing on a pile of paperwork sat in front of her. You narrow your eyes at her and then cast your eyes over to Jay who is still enthralled by the thought of you.

“Will you just get in there and do you thing. We need to nail this bastard” Voight’s rough voice echos out, hurrying you to hang your coat up on the way to the interview room “Good luck” Jay announces with an amused tone “I think you’re the one who needs the luck” you hit back. He bores his eyes down to you as he leans forward to open the door with one hand and allowing you to enter the room first. 

The suspect immediately slumps back in his chair as you slam the thick paper file onto the desk “Think you better sit up and pay attention sunshine, I haven’t got all day” you jest, Jay remaining stern in the seat next to you as he’s ready to play good cop bad cop. “Oh I can tell I’m gonna like you already” his eyes roam about your body but Jay is quick to harshly click in front of the mans face to distract him “Eyes up here big man”. 

You conceal your laugher, not even 2 seconds in and Jay’s pissed off “Why don’t you let her do the talking pretty boy” the suspect flirts and you scoff “You’re already looking at 25 years in jail if you don’t start talking so we’ll get started if you don’t mind” you open the file in efforts to break eye contact with the suspect but Jay was still showing a disgruntled stare over the table “I’m all yours”. 

***

Safe to say the interview didn’t get much better, no matter how much you leaned into him, he wasn’t saying a word. Forcing you to try and go above and beyond with the flirting technique but still nothing. You marched back into the office with Jay, him stuck at your side but staying silent when usually there would be some form of sarcastic comment but today there was nothing.

 “How could you say he was my type, are you blind? He was about 50 with half a mouth of teeth and I can’t imagine the last time he showered” you call out to Kim who laughs “My idea of fun” she contests, handing you a cup of coffee “Hilarious” you comment under your breath as she returns to her desk next to you. 

You were still reeling from the interview, annoyed at yourself for not getting him to break so you could charge him with more but by the sounds of it, it wasn’t his first offence so knew how to play the game and also play you. You scanned the pages in front of you, head in your hands as you sat propped with your elbows on the desk “He was just a dick who knows how to work the system, don’t let it get to you” Jay speaks as he leans on the desk next to you. 

You huff and sink into your chair “Surprised you’re talking to me” you joke as Jay shrugs “Gotta do what you gotta do” he calmly admits, complete change of attitude to his normal tense and quiet self after these interviews but you still knew him well enough to know he was bluffing “Now who’s the one lying” you raise your eyebrows at him with a slight smirk across your face.

He leans down to you to speak but you hear Trudy clear her throat from behind him “Y/N, you got someone down here for you” she bitterly announces, you both turn to look at her as she spins to head back down the stairs “Did they give a name, or?” you ask after her but as per usual she was hardly in a mood to converse “Do I look like a receptionist? No” she tuts “Was cute though” you’re taken back as she adds her little comment and disappears back down the stairs. 

“Well, best get myself down to this hottie then” you stand from your seat, ensuring you graze yourself along Jay as you pass “Don’t wanna keep him waiting” you quietly add so only he can hear. 

He keeps his arms folded in front of his chest and watches you intently as you walk off, feeling his eyes burn into your back as you follow Trudy’s path down to the main area. Slight grin as you enjoyed winding Jay up and as much as he didn’t want to admit it he also got a kick out of it. 

Him watching you think you have the dominance in the relationship truly amused him, all while knowing he could have you pinned up against a wall and struggling to find words within seconds frequently crossed his mind as he sat watching you work opposite him. 

**

You got to the bottom of the stairs only to be met by an empty room, you look over to Trudy who is aimlessly scrolling on the computer and walk over to her desk “Where is he then?” you ask but get no response, instead she simply looks over your shoulder to the room next to the main doors. 

She glimpses back over to you before returning to her work “Always so helpful Trudy, what would I do without you” you mock, tapping the desk before turning to see who had asked after you.

You didn’t even have a chance to get yourself together before he was stood in front of you, your best friend from college who you hadn’t seen in years was stood before you and Trudy was right, he was looking just as cute as he did the last time you see him all those years ago. “There she is! The hot shot detective” he exclaims before engulfing you in his arms. 

It took you by surprise so took you a few seconds before you could grasp what was happening “Kyle? What are you doing here?” you pull back, leaving his arm still resting on your hip as he towered over you “My folks moved to Chicago a few weeks ago so thought I would come visit. Then remembered you worked here so made it all the more easier for me to take the trip” he happily admits as you nudge his shoulder “Still the flirt I see” you tilt you head and he nods “Can’t help it when it comes to you”. 

You come to your senses that you’re still stood in the middle of the open space at the district, Trudy without a doubt ogling at you from her desk and silently judging with her scowl and condescending manner. 

You take a quick sweep of the area to see if anyone else is around but it was just the two of you which made the silence even more awkward. As much as you wanted nothing more than to catch up with Kyle, this was hardly the ideal scenario as you could basically hear a pin drop and knew Trudy was listening in on every word. 

You check your watch and note it was nearly 1pm which led you to the perfect excuse of leaving “Wanna grab some lunch?” he questions to which you quickly agree “Let me just grab my stuff and we can go”.

Just as you turn to head back upstairs you hear Trudy call out from behind you “Chuckles, get Y/N’s bags for her will you. She's being whisked off for lunch on a hot date” whilst still facing away you subtly shake your head and huff “I’m gonna kill her” you joke, Kyle awkwardly laughs along with you which doesn’t help with the glare Jay was sending in your direction. 

“Thanks but I can get them myself, thanks though” you grimace to Trudy as you pass her desk “Won’t be long” you call back to Kyle who takes a seat on the chairs “Just text me if you need a moment before we go!” Jay shoots him a lingering glare, you nudge his shoulder to pull him from his trance with the aggravated scorn to Kyle.

 You place your hand onto the scanner and feel Jay breathing down your neck from how close he is stood behind you “So you’ve got a hot date?” he whispers, so quiet that you’re sure no one else heard “Don’t start” you warn as the door buzzes and loosens to allow you to open it.

“Don’t know what you mean” Jay innocently responds, still hot on your trail as you make your way up “Jay, your jealousy is showing” you tease with a hint of smugness in your voice “I don’t get jealous baby” he takes you off guard with the pet name but you try your best to act unfazed “A lot of lying going on today, isn’t there?”. 

You make your way over to your desk and rummage around in the drawers looking for the purse your usually leave in there with a few bank cards and loose change. “Who’s the hunk then Y/N?” Hailey asks from her desk on the other side of the room “It’s her boyfriend” Jay answers before you even have a chance to respond. You continue looking through your desk, rolling your eyes at his comment but grateful no one can see as you look down.

“He’s a friend from college” you correct him, shooting him a glare to which he sneers. “And he’s taking you to lunch? Lucky you” Kim adds, earning a less than impressed glance from Adam “I’m right here you know” he mocks and you laugh to yourself of the irony of Adam getting jealous when you knew Jay was sat there reeling and no one knew. 

“Wait, isn’t Kyle the one who-?” Kim starts but you widen your eyes her to give her the message to stop “The one who?” Kevin probes, aware that now everyone was in on this would only add to Jay’s annoyance “He wa-” Hailey speaks up “Uh” you interrupt, admiring the joy she had flashed across her face. Adam pats Kevin on the shoulder as he passes “Girl code bro, we’ll never find out”. 

“I didn’t know I was running a gossip circle? Back to it” Voight demands from the doorframe of his office. The team turn back to their work as you give up looking for your purse and decide to head to the lockers to see if you left it in there earlier in the week. 

Once in the hall, alone you run your fingertips over the creases in your forehead. Partly in trying to remember where you last had your purse but also wishing Kyle hadn’t come to the district or atleast gave you some forewarning that we was in town. 

That soon explains the reason for your gut feeling this morning that something wasn’t going to go right, although you were slightly relieved as it wasn’t half as bad as you expected when you first woke up and felt the anxiety swirling in your stomach but still wasn’t ideal. 

You leant your head against your locker before taking a deep breath, anyone would think you were being overdramatic but with the interview the morning where you had truly pushed yourself with the flirting already leaving Jay on the back foot this was not what you had in mind for the rest of the day. 

Normally, a quiet afternoon with the odd doting look and occasional private moment between the pair of you had you back in his good books but that was clearly out of the window and now with this he was just feeling worse. 

You searched in your locker but still no sign, you pulled out your phone to text Kyle and was shocked you still had his number after all these years. You clicked away on your phone before a presence in front of you makes you flinch. 

You look up to see Jay leaning with one arm on the locker and the other holding your purse “You can text your boyfriend to say your other boyfriend found your purse” he dangles the purse in front of you but snatches it back when you go to grab it “Jay, leave it alone” you taunt but he simply drops your purse on the bench behind you with a swift motion and turns to head out. 

Slightly shocked you don’t get more of a reaction out of him leaves you wanting more, a twisted affect he had on you when he left you craving him if he didn’t give you what you wanted.

“You don’t want me to introduce the pair of you then?” you call out, causing him to stop in his tracks on route to the door. You heart instantly picks up as you know you’ve got him “Do what you want” he spits out, still with his back to you. You make your way over to him and run your fingertip up and down his spine, causing him to shiver under your touch.

 “Someone in a mood?” you innocently ask, knowing full well what you’re letting yourself in for but using it as more motivation to keep going. He hangs his head in laughter and takes a moment before he inhales through his flared nostrils, even facing away from you you can see the bitter look on his face as he bites the inside of his lip in frustration. 

“Why don’t you just go and have a nice little lunch with your boyfriend and we’ll speak about this at home later” his calmness still confuses you and didn’t satisfy your craving and as much as you knew you shouldn’t provoke him you can’t help but continue to do so.

“You don’t Atleast want to know who he is? You could be letting me go to lunch with a murderer for all you know” you joke but he is not amused, not in the slightest. He deeply huffs which, to his frustration you know is a good sign you were getting what you wanted “No Y/N. I don’t want to know who the fuck he is” he finally bursts, turning in his spot and now staring down on you.

“I don’t give a shit who he is, I don’t give a shit what you’ve done together” the way his chest rises and falls in his passion truly awakes something within you and you no longer care how quick you feel overpowered by him.

“That’s not very kind” you respond, innocent tone paired with your eyelashes fluttering as you look up at Jay’s rage filled face.

“Kind? I don’t care about kind when it comes to other men flirting with my girl, baby” he starts taking steps towards you, forcing you to walk back under his demand. 

Your back soon hits the bank of lockers with a thud, his eyes filled his hunger as he rests his arm to the side of your head and leans into you “He was only my first fuck, no big deal” you mumble but his spiteful chuckle tells you he heard it loud and clear, slightly regretting your honesty when you’re truly under his thumb and not getting out of his hold anytime soon.

“Say that again” he taunts, hand gripped onto your waist and getting tighter with each heavy breath. You don’t say a word as you know nothing will help what you’ve just said, he leaves it a moment before he continues. 

“No?” He questions as you remain standing in silence, you shake your head to see the exasperation flashing across his face. “Why did you even tell me that?” He further asks and in all honesty you begin to question that yourself, you just knew it would be the worst thing you could admit and therefore it had to be done.

“Oh, I know why” he drops his head as he smiles to himself, hand running along his jawline as a smug smile makes its way onto his face. Not a second later his attention is back on you with the hunger in his eyes that you now desperately longed for.

“You want me to remind the name that I know you’re wishing you could moan right now” he teases as he pushes himself onto you further “straight up against these lockers, with my hand over your mouth to quieten them desperate pleas”. His eyes search your face for any form of resistance as he darts his knee inbetween your legs to separate them “Tell me I’m wrong baby?”.

You feel your body melt under his slightest touch, his words making you crumble into his grasp on you. With your mind no longer on Kyle or the fact you were at your place of work with the chance of getting caught at any moment “Your team just on the other side of that wall not having a single clue what’s going on”. He was clearly enjoying this as much as you were, his lips finding their way to your collarbone and lightly nipping at the skin.

“My girl wants me to fuck her so hard that she can’t even walk out of this room without me helping her” he proceeds to run his lips along your jawline, leaving lingering kisses as he goes “Not so mouthy now, hm?” He grasps at your hip to straighten you from your slumped position, feeling your legs turn to jelly as you yearn for his dominant touch “Use your words, baby”.

He catches you off guard with a deep and hungry kiss as his lips crash into yours, using his hand on the small of your back to steady you as you stumble from the sudden harshness. As you leaned into his desires, you wanted to use the tiniest bit of power you have left to well and truly push him over the edge. Something you knew that would have you playing this moment over in your head for weeks on end, him falling at your mercy and pushing him over the edge “Yes daddy”.

His eyes widen, something he had only heard you say a few times in the past but only after being encouraged at the height of passion and never on your own accord. The fingers digging into your hips told you all you needed to know, whether he liked to admit it, you’d won this hands down.

You run your to tongue over your bottom lip, now slightly swollen from the rough contact. His eyes follow your movement, the darkness in his eyes turning more intense as every second went by “oh baby” he chuckled, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist to lift you up and secure yourself to him with your legs wrapped round him and your back pushed up against the lockers “you have no idea what you’ve just let yourself in for”.

****

Inbox and requests always open👀 am working through my current requests and one will be up in a few days💃🏼

[drakenology]

𝐁𝐀𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓  ♡  𝐃𝐀𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐈 𝐒𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐌𝐔𝐑𝐀

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : smut!, daddy kink, violence & mentions of blood, established relationship, dumbification, face slapping (politely), dirty talk, degradation, a pinch of knife play (he just cuts your panties open), exhibitionism, breeding kink, cum, fingering, swearing and size kink if you get a magnifying glass. 

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: Hey sexy bitches. This one’s for my Vice City event. I scrapped so many ideas to get here which is why I extended the due date for it.. Anyways! Enjoy, sluts. Daichi supremacy. 

He sat at the bar; tall, dark and handsome. He had this roughness to him, his hands riddled with scars and his face rocking one just above his eyebrow. He was one of your most handsome regulars. He always came in around 12 am on Friday, all blooded up and battered from god knows what. Tonight was no different. You sigh, taking in his strong arm that was now covered in bandage wrapping. You strut over to him, pulling your top up a bit to push up your breasts. 

“What can I get ya, handsome?” You ask charmingly. He looks up from his empty glass, his deep brown eyes soaking in your form. 

“Whiskey, neat.” He replied, smoky tone of voice vibrating against your ears as you bit your lip. 

“Comin’ right up” as you turn and walk away, adjusting your shorts after bending down to get his drink ready. His eyes trailed to your hips where your g-string sat snugly on those hips he often watched sway as you walked by to serve your patrons. Were you always this sexy? He never stopped looking at you as you poured him a drink, leaning over the bar to ask him something. 

“I swear every time you come in here you show up with a new injury. This is a bar, not a hospital. What the hell were you doin’?” You question, reaching a soft hand up to his brow as if to try and heal it with your touch. He didn’t even flinch either, almost leaning into your hand like a touch-starved puppy. You grab some napkins and wipe some blood from his leaking nose, tsk-ing at him as he sighed. He knew you’d give him shit.

“Got into this nasty scrap with some gang. One of ‘em tried robbing me.. I showed him why he shouldn’t have. His boys came after me and they caught me off guard. One of ‘em had a knife.” He admits. You flinch, looking at him in awe. What’s this guy into? 

“Be careful, Lui Kang.” You tease, sliding a glass of ice over to him from one end of the bar while you took some orders. 

Not even a few moments later, someone came up to you at the bar. This sleazy looking man with his hair gelled back so thickly it didn’t move as he craned his head to look you up and down. 

“Hey, sweetface. Get me a drink, will ya?” His voice like a natural irritant. You turn to him and take his order, your protective regular watching him closely as he sipped his drink. He hardly knew you; just some girl who worked at the sleazy bar he always finds himself licking his wounds in after a scrap. Still, you were always so nice to him; greeting him with a pretty smile, a cold drink and a conversation. He was just so used to violence, fighting for everything he has. He was grateful to have just one ray of sunshine. Vice City, nor his life had ever granted him that luxury. 

As you serve the man his drink, he takes a sip and makes this repugnant face. 

“Women. Not even good for making a man a fuckin’ decent drink.” He snaps, tossing the drink towards your direction; the glass almost hitting you. You scream as the glass shatters against the wall, your regular standing from his stool to give him a piece of his mind. 

“Fuck’s your problem, tough guy?” He spits at him, grunting when a fist suddenly meets the bridge of his nose. The thud causes you to jump, staring at the scene with wide eyes as your heart slammed against your chest. Of course you were no stranger to bar fights, but this? How could one man make violence look so tempting. You gasp as you watch him pick that grease ball up by his shirt and practically toss him out the doors of the pub. 

“Fuck off home, before I decide to kill you.” 

 He takes his seat back at the bar to find you cleaning up the mess, noticing your startled and clumsy movements from shock. 

“You okay?” He asked, concerned. You nod. As tough as you try to front to be, you were scared shitless. Though this wouldn’t be the first nor last asshole to grace your bar. 

“I can handle myself, ya know?”, putting up a front that you didn’t need his help. You were grateful. But he doesn’t have to know that.

“Sure.” He shrugged. “Remind me not to interfere, miss independent.” You stare into his deep chocolate brown eyes and lean closer to him. 

“What, am I supposed to thank you now?” You tease, taking a cherry and sticking it in your mouth. 

“It’d be nice.” He smirks, raising an eyebrow at you. You giggle, leaning over to give him an innocent kiss on the cheek as a token of gratitude. 

“Thanks.” 

After that fateful day, you and Daichi were attached at the hip. He brought you everywhere with him as if his scene was safe and tidy. Most nights consisted of dressing his wounds after watching him roughhouse at his fight club. You never minded caring for him since you know he’d do the same for you in a heartbeat. 

The life he lived, the way he made his money just to get by was terrifying and... exciting. You always came with him for his matches whenever someone had bet big money on him or if some assholes wanna settle a score. You always stood in the loud crowd as they watched, beer bottles and cigarettes littering the concrete ground. Daichi told you to always wear his name chain so that the guys knew who you belonged to, those dudes can get real handsy and Daichi would hate to have to hurt a friend. God, you were such a distraction. Daichi stared at you almost too long; dodging a swing of a knife as he took his opponent down with his bare hands. The crowd smashed more glass against any nearby surface to celebrate, the other half of the crowd booing and hissing. 

After he was declared the winner, he got his cut of the bet in cold hard cash; about a nice $200,000. Boy was he frisky after that. His big hands stayed planted right on your ass as he walked you both out and onto the streets to walk home. Your walks were always so peaceful after the boisterous and rowdy night. But tonight, Daichi wanted to claim the second part of his prize. He swiftly scooped you up in his arms, sitting you atop a car parked on the side of the steady street. He pulled his knife out from his back pocket, spreading your legs with his palm. 

“Better not make a fucking sound, baby. ‘Else everyone’s gonna hear how much of a whore you are for your daddy.” He grunts, taking the blade to cut your panties apart by the crotch from under your skirt. Your pussy was now on full display for him and quite possibly the ongoing traffic driving by. You shudder as the cold breeze hits your bare skin, looking at him with doe eyes - only making him want you more. 

“What? Don’t act like you don’t want it like this, babe.” his voice thick with lust as his thick finger reach up to pinch your nipples through your thin top. “God, look at these.” as his hands grope and squeeze the softness of your breasts. You’re moaning into the air as his lips kiss your neck feverishly, taking your top and lifting it up over your breasts. 

“You want my dick don’t you, baby?” He whispers into your ear, your thighs starting to tremble just at the low, brassy tone of his voice. You nod, your cunt fluttering as it starts to drip with slick. Your obedience has him feeling firm, the brunt side of his hard cock starting to grind against you through his jeans. You gasp, Daichi’s hands still pinching and teasing your nipples as his hips grind to make you feel good. You start moving your own hips to follow his movements, Daichi groaning as he watched you try and get yourself off. 

“Look at you humpin’ me like a little bitch in heat.” He spat, a whimper leaving your mouth as you start getting desperate. His hands stop your hips in place, his eyes seemingly dilated with a dark appearance. 

“Take it out since you want it so bad.. yeah, put it in for me. Work for it, slut.” He demands, tapping your cheek to keep your eyes focused on his. He slaps the other side of your face as he snapped his hips, this chubby cock seemingly splitting you open as you cry out. He starts off brutally, as if he weren’t railing you out in public in the middle of the night on some stranger’s car. You weren’t making the scene any more discreet with all your pathetic groans, your hands pulling at his shirt to hold onto something. Your mind became cloudy, panting and sobbing like a real whore. Daichi’s just enjoying the sight of you ruined underneath him, slapping you in the face once more to snap you back from your daydream causing you to gasp. The sting faded as his hand went to stroke the blow with his thumb, the rest of his hand lifting your chin.

“Look at me. Don’t cum until I say so, got it? I feel your greedy cunt sucking me up already.” He says, thumb pressing up against your clit just to make it harder for you to contain yourself. You feel your walls squeeze him, whimpering with every vein of this cock sliding in and out of your walls so addictively. Your hands claw at his back, drooling into his shoulder as you start trying to grind your hips to change the pace. He grunts and holds you still as he slides his thick cock in and out of you slower to tease you, smirking when you start to cry. 

“Pl-Please go faster, Da-Daddy, please, I can’t-” You whine, interrupted by a harsh slap to your outer thigh causing you to yelp.

“You can and you will. Daddy’s almost there, c’mon. You don’t want me to punish you out here, do you?” He coos, opening your mouth by squishing your cheeks together, spitting on your tongue and tapping your chin. You shake your head and try your best to take him for a little while longer, your slick oozing all over the hood of the car you were pinned to. As your eyes roll back, you feel Daichi’s cock start to throb intensely, a sign he was close. Relief was soon to come. 

“G’head and cum for daddy, baby. Want you throbbing for me, c’mon, you wanted to cum so bad.” Daichi urged, swiftly flicking your clit to help you. You cum in a flash, white lights shining behind your eyes as you scream his name. Seconds later he fills you, pumping his hot seed into your pussy before pulling out to watch it spill out onto the cold metal of the car. 

“Sloppy little whore.” He spits, taking his fingers to scoop it up and shove it inside you, pumping his fingers to secure it inside. You pant, your thighs trembling as Daichi hoists you up on his back to carry you the rest of the way home. 

Your eyes close, humming as you lean into his shoulder. A silent “I love you”. The walk was silent and safe, dozing off on Daichi’s shoulder as he trudged through the mean streets of the neighborhood you both lived in. 

[helloalycia]

just a kid [one] // wanda maximoff

summary: you're a field medic at the Avengers Tower and get into an accident where you hurt your head. It was only supposed to be a mild concussion, yet things don't seem to be going right when you try to remember the accident.

warning/s: mentions of violent/dark scenes.

author's note: here’s the first of a little two-parter I worked on not long ago, hope you all like it!

part two | masterlist | wattpad

I woke up with heavy eyes and an aching head, momentarily dazed.

"Hey there, Doctor Y/L/N... can you hear me okay?"

Breathing deeply, I found the energy to clear my throat and scan the view above me. I was laying down on a bed, in a hospital room, I think. The lights were ever so bright and I now knew how annoying it felt to wake up like this as my patients had.

"What happened?" I asked, eyes roaming around until they settled on my doctor. "Doctor Maya? What am I–? Why am I here?"

I recognised Doctor Maya as a colleague of mine, though unlike me, she was a doctor who worked at the Avengers Tower whereas I worked as a field medic so was more on the move. The only reason I'd be here is if I was in an accident. Was I? I wasn't sure.

"Something happened when you were on your last mission," she explained gently. "I– hold on. I'm going to get Miss Maximoff, okay?"

"Wanda?" I asked, furrowing my brows and pinching them to relieve the stress in my head. "Where is she? Is she here?"

"She just nipped out," Doctor Maya said, before backing up. "One second, Y/N."

She left the room momentarily, leaving me to try and remember what had happened. I was on the quinjet and was getting briefed with my team. There were casualties that we had to get to and an agent– an agent I was helping, yes!

I groaned, clutching my head when I tried to remember. Deciding I shouldn't push myself so soon, I waited until the doctor returned with Wanda. Maybe they could tell me how I ended up here. I wasn't exactly injured, at least not physically and that I knew of. My head hurt and that was about it.

The door to my room opened suddenly and I looked that way, seeing Wanda rushing in wearing her civilian clothing. The doctor followed soon after, gently closing the door behind her.

"You're awake," Wanda said with relief, stopping by my bedside. Her hand rested on mine, squeezing it comfortingly. "How are you feeling?"

I smiled upon seeing her, even if she was staring at me like I was a fragile piece of glass. We'd been dating for a while now and she always had the power to make me feel better with her presence.

"I'm alright," I promised. "Just a bit confused to what happened. The last thing I remember is going into the field. Then I woke up here."

She chewed on her lower lip, exchanging unreadable glances with the doctor.

"There was a mine that detonated near you when you were helping an injured agent," Wanda explained softly, and I opened my mouth to speak, but she quickly added, "The agent is okay before you ask. But you hit your head from the impact. Mild concussion."

"That's why your head hurts and you're having trouble remembering," the doctor said, earning my attention. "You should be feeling better soon. And I've got some medication for the pain."

Now that Wanda mentioned it, I did vaguely recall being thrown back by a blast. But remembering it was like watching a film with poor satellite, the screen fuzzing around the edges and remaining unclear even though you focused hard. I was sure it would return to me soon.

"Thanks," I said, before attempting to sit up straight. Wanda helped me as I looked to her with gratitude before paying my attention back to Doctor Maya. "Am I alright to leave?"

"Of course, yeah," she said, nodding quickly. "Feel free to come back if you have any trouble. You should be okay though."

I nodded and smiled gratefully before watching her leave. Sighing, I pushed my hair from my face and looked to Wanda who was hanging by me patiently, eyes twinkling with concern.

"I'm fine," I promised her with a knowing look.

She gave me a small smile – her way of saying I'm still worried, but I'll dial it down – then moved to the chair beside the bed and grabbed some clothes.

"You can change into this," she said about the clothes in her hand, and I was sure they were some of hers; mine must have been ruined from the mine. "And if you want, you can stay with me whilst you recover."

I raised my eyebrows as I accepted the clothes. "You sure? It's nothing serious. I can take care of myself."

She shrugged, eyes avoiding mine with embarrassment as her hands played with mine. "I wanna help. I like looking after you... plus, you've stayed at mine before. This isn't any different. And you can be closer to Doctor Maya in case anything is wrong."

I weighed the decision briefly before giving in, unable to resist how cute she was when she was worried. "Okay, yeah, sure, why not?" She smiled widely, and I added, "Any excuse to cuddle with you, right?"

She chuckled. "I knew you wouldn't be able to resist."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Just let me get ready and we can head to your room. I'm actually a little tired."

She nodded and helped me up so I could get ready. I didn't think much of the whole thing, until later that night when I fell asleep beside Wanda.

My dreams never usually meant much. I wasn't one for reading into them, nor was I one to get seriously affected by 'nightmares', knowing they were usually a concoction of bad horror films and stupid ghost stories from my childhood.

But tonight was different.

It wasn't a dream and it wasn't a nightmare, but rather a memory that couldn't exist.

There was debris everywhere, a mixture of yellow rays blinding my sight with dark shadows looming over me. Destroyed buildings and scattered bodies – none were alive – surrounded me. The heat was too much, but I had a job. I knew I had a job, but I couldn't focus because of how fast my heart was racing, beating an incessant drum in my ears, and how rigid my body felt.

"Help!" a voice was shouting. A young girl, I think – she sounded like a kid. Who was it?

Before I could make sense of anything, I heard a loud noise, like an explosion, that sounded so close yet also extremely distant. Nonetheless, my eardrums weren't spared. The mine, maybe? Was this a memory? Was this how I got hurt?

I was thrown back, head hitting a wall, but I didn't pass out. There was a figure looming over me, short, like a child's shadow, but with no visible face or features. Nothing, actually, just a dark outline staring at me though I couldn't stare back because there was nothing to stare at.

The shouts for help returned, but it was distant like the explosion. I couldn't make sense of anything, and when I closed my eyes to blink, I opened them to find debris washing over me all over again, flying in the air along with my body. It had to be the explosion, my memory returning.

This time, when I hit the wall, I woke with a start. My eyes snapped open, taking in the dark room and nightly blue hue casting over the ceiling and walls. I swallowed hard, finding my breath, and raised my hand to gently massage my forehead. An aching pain was shooting all over, forcing me to sit up as slowly as I could as to not wake up Wanda, who appeared to be fast asleep beside me.

I checked the clock beside her bed and saw it was closing on half three in the morning. I went to bed around nine, which was also when I last had my medication. Doctor Maya said I could have it every five to seven hours and when I got a severe headache.

"I guess this counts...," I mumbled to myself, before grabbing the medication and bottle of water beside the clock.

I downed the two tablets within seconds before sitting upright for a few more minutes, needing a moment to myself before attempting to get back to sleep.

"Y/N...? Are you up?"

I winced at the sound of Wanda's groggy voice, immediately feeling bad for waking her. I turned around and saw her rubbing her eyes with one hand whilst blinking away her fatigue.

"Just have a headache, don't worry," I reassured quietly, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. "You can go back to sleep."

"Do you need me to get you anything?" she asked, finally able to keep her eyes open long enough to meet my gaze with her cloudy green ones.

I smiled through my exhaustion. "I'm okay, love. I've had some medicine."

"Well, I can get you something to–" she began, trying to make a move to sit up, but I pushed her back down gently.

"I'm okay," I repeated sternly, before slipping back into bed beside her. Wrapping an arm around her torso, I said, "Get back to sleep."

She nodded tiredly, getting comfortable and pulling me closer to her. I felt her arm wrap around me as I snuggled closer, relaxing in her embrace.

"Wake me if something is wrong," she mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "Goodnight. I love you."

"I love you, too," I returned, kissing the closest thing to me which was her chest. "Goodnight."

Admittedly, it was still difficult for me to fall back asleep. It must have been no longer than ten minutes when I heard Wanda's breathing and felt the gentle rise and fall of her chest beneath me – she'd fallen back asleep. I sighed, slightly jealous, but stayed close to her and tried not to think about my accident or my weird dream/nightmare. Eventually, slumber found me.

The next morning, I didn't exactly feel well-rested, but I didn't want to concern Wanda nor draw attention to it as I knew it was probably just a rough first night. Instead, I let myself get distracted with Wanda wanting to cook me breakfast.

I soon found myself in the kitchen, sitting at the island and watching Wanda cook some pancakes for us both with an endearing smile on my lips. She was still in her pyjamas like me, her red hair pulled into a messy ponytail as an afterthought, and she radiated beauty. Right there, I could only wish my future looked exactly like this.

My moment of admiration was interrupted when someone came into the kitchen, earning our attention. It was Sam, one of the Avengers and a colleague of Wanda's.

"Good morning, ladies," he greeted with a smile. Already dressed for the day ahead, he asked, "Do I smell pancakes?"

"They're for Y/N, so back off," Wanda said playfully, pointing her spatula at him threateningly.

He raised his hands with defeat as I chuckled.

"Relax, I've got a shake," he said, grabbing said protein shake from the fridge. "Enjoy your pancakes." He glanced to me, expression softening as he added, "And I hope you feel better, Y/N. I heard about your accident."

"Thank you, Sam," I said gratefully, noticing the way Wanda flinched at his words. "I'm already feeling better, so..."

"That's great," he said genuinely, before looking between us. "I'll catch you guys later."

We both waved our goodbyes to him as he left. I wanted to question what was up with Wanda just then, but as Sam left the kitchen, the door slammed shut and startled me more than I thought it would. The noise sounded so familiar, so loud, kind of like what I heard last night in my dream. It must have been the mine when it exploded, a ghost of a memory that was returning. But that didn't seem right. Why didn't that seem right?

"Hey, Y/N, you okay?" Wanda asked, and I looked up, only to notice she was now standing by my side and looking down at me with concern.

I licked my lips, nodding. "Yeah, sorry, I just... yeah. I'm fine."

Her eyes were swimming with doubt, but she chose to say nothing. Instead, to my relief, she pulled me close, giving me a quick hug which I appreciated. As my head rested against her chest, I tried to ignore the familiar striking pain travelling around my forehead.

—

It was two nights later when another strange dream plagued my sleep. Similar to last time, there was a strange combination of scenes that I was sure I remembered and scenes that made no sense. This time though, all that I could feel was a tenseness in my whole body, like I was in a frozen state and my mind and body couldn't communicate. I couldn't move, paralysed by... fear? Shock? Disbelief? I didn't know what it was, but I woke up in the same way.

I'd heard of sleep paralysis, even experienced it a few times without realising. I think this was one of those times, with my body frozen in bed beside Wanda, but I didn't know it at the time. It just felt like a horribly-real dream. The room was dark, the familiar, yet unsettling, nightly blue hue casting shadows on the wall. But on the ceiling, bright and terrifying scenes played out before me. An explosion. Debris. Screaming.

None of it made sense and all I could feel was shock, horrified at how I couldn't move a muscle even if I tried. I tilted my head, seeing the alarm clock glowing red in the dark, letting me know it was past midnight. To the left, I saw a sleeping Wanda, lost in her dreams and unable to help me. I wanted to get up, run my hands over my face, have some water, open a window, do something. But I couldn't move. All I could do was watch the nightmare dance across the ceiling as my heart struggled to beat regularly and my lungs struggled to get enough oxygen.

I didn't know how long I was stuck like that, tears brimming my eyes and body paralysed with fear. But it finally ended and I opened my eyes, only to find the ceiling blank and myself able to move. Reluctantly, I lifted my hand, wiping the tears from my cheeks. It was just a dream (or form of sleep paralysis in hindsight). It wasn't real. But God, it felt horribly terrifying.

Admittedly, I was scared to go back to sleep for fear it would occur again. So, my eyes stayed wide awake, burning with exhaustion, and I continued to stare at the shadows on the wall, feeling my heart pounding in my ears.

I must have fallen asleep again at some point, as I woke up the next morning to Wanda getting out of bed. Sitting up in bed, I looked around and found the fear of last night wearing off now that the room was bathed in the morning light. Still, I was more shaken than I thought.

Not wanting to draw attention to it though, I let the day go on as usual, deciding to appreciate the free time I had from work to spend with Wanda. We decided to go to the park for a walk – Wanda thought it would help get me out of the Tower and I was hoping the fresh air would give me some clarity and help me to recover.

Only, it did the opposite.

We were walking hand in hand, myself listening to Wanda as she chatted about something that happened in training. If I'm being honest, I wasn't really listening; my thoughts were preoccupied with the jumbled mess that was my mind. Glimpses of memories were dancing across my head, teasing me with elements of the truth I couldn't quite make out.

My eyes drifted around mindlessly, settling on a little girl playing by the swings with her parents. I didn't think much of it, but then the familiar shouts for help from my nightmare plagued my mind, making me flinch. The dark, looming shadow returned and I suddenly felt a headache coming on, the pressure against my brain making me nauseous.

I stopped abruptly, letting go of Wanda's hand. She stopped speaking, turning around and furrowing her brows with concern.

"Hey, Y/N, what's wrong?" she asked, and I winced, clutching my head to relieve the pain.

The wave of nausea left after a moment, but the headache remained. I heard Wanda repeat my name quietly, sensing my discomfort.

"I think I need to see Doctor Maya again," I finally found my words.

"What is it? What's wrong?" she asked, resting a hand on my cheek and tilting my head up to meet her eyes. "You can tell me."

Her eyes were reassuring, calming me in an instant. I wanted to tell her everything, but I didn't want to burden her with my anxieties, so I offered her a small smile.

"I just don't think my recovery is as straightforward as I thought," I settled. "She may be able to help."

Wanda chewed her lower lip, nodding slowly. Thankfully, she didn't question me anymore. Instead, she took me back to the Tower to see Doctor Maya. I was grateful as she waited with me for her to be free, until I had to convince her I'd be okay going in myself.

"Are you sure? I don't mind," she said, exchanging looks with Doctor Maya, who looked away quickly.

I glanced between them, mildly confused, but nodded to Wanda. "I'd rather go alone, Wanda. I'll be okay."

She nodded, squeezed my hands comfortingly, then let me go. When I headed into Doctor Maya's office, she took a seat behind her desk and motioned for me to sit before her.

"You said this was urgent," she spoke first, after I took a seat opposite. "Is everything okay?"

I licked my lips, looking down at my hand as it scratched the arm of the chair nervously. "No... not really."

After a moment of hesitation and partial embarrassment, since I knew this was only supposed to be a mild concussion that felt like so much more, I explained everything that happened to Doctor Maya. The odd dreams/nightmares, the headaches, the overlapping memories and sleep paralysis. As hard as it was to relive, I told her everything in hopes she had an answer that maybe I hadn't realised.

When I finished speaking, she looked distracted with her own thoughts. I waited patiently, watching as she nodded to herself before looking to me calmly.

"It doesn't seem like anything to worry about, truthfully," she said, which I didn't expect. "You suffered a mild concussion, yes, but it must have rattled you more than we thought. The dreams and trouble sleeping are a result of your headaches and returning memories. You do remember what happened, right?"

I nodded, though something felt incorrect. "I think so, yes. I was helping an agent when a mine went off. I was thrown back, covered in debris. Hit my head."

She hummed. "Yes... and you're taking your medication?"

Another nod. "Of course. I just want to get better. The sooner I do, the sooner I can return to work."

"Then it seems that your only opponent is stress and impatience," she said simply. "You need to relax. Keep taking your meds. Try not to worry about returning to work just yet. Focus on getting better. I can prescribe you some sleeping pills if you think that will help."

Sighing disappointedly, I nodded. I was expecting more to be honest, possibly an explanation. Her words made sense logically, but it still didn't feel right. Nonetheless, I didn't want to hold her up any longer, so I let her prescribe me some more medication before leaving. Maybe I'd give relaxing a shot.

—

"It's a meatball."

I stifled a laugh as I studied the oddly shaped ball of meat in Wanda's hand. "Is it?"

She narrowed her eyes playfully. "It is otherwise you're making your own meal."

I laughed, pressing a haste kiss to her cheek. "Okay, okay, it's a meatball. Add it to the tray."

We were cooking spaghetti and meatballs for dinner about six days after my incident out in the field. I was still staying with Wanda at the Tower, and I was taking Doctor Maya's advice with my recovery. I didn't worry myself with returning to work which, admittedly, helped out, and the sleeping pills knocked me out long enough to get a good sleep. Though, sometimes the nightmares would still return. I didn't think about them too much though, not wanting them to hinder my recovery. Instead, I focused on getting better with my very supportive girlfriend by my side.

Wanda added the meatball to the baking tray, alongside the others, but as she reached to form another one from the bowl full of minced meat, she accidentally knocked it to the floor. The meat splattered across the tiles, making her gasp.

"Shit," she cursed, eyes widening slightly.

"Very clever," I teased with a smile.

"Let me just–"

"I got it," I cut her off, already bending to clear it up. "Just put the tray in the oven, yeah? Try not to drop it."

"Ha-ha, very funny."

I looked up in time to see her rolling her eyes playfully, but she grabbed the tray as I said.

I kneeled down, scooping the meat up and throwing it in the bowl, knowing it would have to go in the bin now. As I did, I realised how familiar the meat looked. Pink and flesh-like, covering my hands and sticking to me. Suddenly, my hands were shaking, the fleshy bits surrounded by blood, and I tried to blink away the sight, expecting to just see minced meat, but I couldn't. They were covered in what I somehow knew was the flesh of body parts.

Startled, I fell back onto my butt, my back hitting the drawer behind me and pulling me from my daydream. Wanda looked down at me with confusion, before sensing something was wrong and leaning down beside me. She rested a hand on my head, thumb stroking my forehead.

"What's wrong?" she asked, confused eyes staring between me and my hands which were still shaking. She grabbed the tea towel from the counter above us before wiping my hands for me and holding them. "Y/N. This has happened a few times. Please tell me what happened."

I was still shaken, unsure why there was a discomfort in the pit of my stomach. I risked glancing at my hands, which were clean and no longer covered in human fle– I mean, meat.

"I don't know what's going on," I finally admitted to her, shaking my head. "It's like my thoughts aren't my own. I can't control them. I just keep seeing stuff that isn't real."

She frowned, eyes peering through mine patiently.

"I still can't remember what happened with the mine," I said, swallowing the lump forming in my throat. "It's like, I know what happened and I know it's real, but when I try to remember, it just doesn't happen quite right. The picture doesn't appear. And I don't know why."

She pressed her lips together, jaw clenching slightly. I wasn't sure what she was thinking, but her eyes wouldn't meet mine.

"What did the doctor say?" she asked lowly.

I sighed, the discomfort still lining my stomach. "She thinks I just need time."

Wanda nodded, finally lifting her gaze. "Maybe she's right."

I knitted my brows together with frustration, nudging her away and standing up. "I don't need time! I'm a doctor, too. I know it shouldn't take this long. It was a mild concussion. I've treated hundreds of those."

"Y/N–"

"Just forget it," I said with exasperation, pulling away from her as she tried to reach out again. I knew it was uncalled for, taking it out on her for no reason, but I was too frustrated with the situation to care. "I think I'm gonna go for a walk."

She sighed from behind me, running a hand through her hair. I left her in the kitchen, suddenly not in the mood to eat. Clearly all of Doctor Maya's advice wasn't working – what I was experiencing wasn't normal. I needed to see her again.

So, after cleaning my hands properly and having a walk around the Tower to clear my head (as expected, it didn't work), I headed to Doctor Maya's office, hoping she was still in work today. To my surprise, when I reached her office, I saw her door was slightly ajar and she was already speaking to someone. My intention wasn't to eavesdrop, but when I heard my name said in a hushed whisper from a familiar voice, I knew I had to stay.

"...can't say anything," Wanda finished. "She'll get better."

Doctor Maya sounded frustrated. "It's not right, Miss Maximoff. This is against everything I stand for. Against everything Y/N stands for, too, I'm sure."

"This is for her benefit," Wanda snapped, before taking a deep breath. "Look, she can't handle the truth. It'll break her... I haven't worked out the kinks, but it'll be okay. She'll get better."

What the hell were they talking about? What truth could I not handle? Wanda and the doctor were in on something together, something they didn't want me to know... and it was something to do with why I was feeling like how I was. I knew I wasn't going insane – something was wrong!

I left them to it with plans of seeing the doctor afterwards, not wanting to get caught, and tried to wrap my head around the fact that Wanda had been keeping something from me this whole time. How could she? I didn't want to jump to conclusions, but I thought that we could trust each other.

What was she hiding?

[ssa-daddyhotchner]

Can you write something where when the reader sees Aaron for the first time in the fbi vest she can’t take her eyes off of him. When he confronts her about it, she denies it so he decides to send her filthy texts the whole flight home. When they land he tells the reader to get in his car. When they get to his place to go at it, she asks if he’ll wear the vest. He does. DomHotch!!! 😚 xoxo

You'll have to wait

(Request by anonymous)

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Warning - (NSFW 18+)

Word Count - 2.3k

Material list

______________________

“Alright Reid and JJ stay here, look over anything else we might have missed. Coronate the media and send back up.” My eyes snapped over to Aaron. 

“Sir what about me.” 

“You’re coming with, your vest is in the car. Everybody lets go.” 

I was confused at the request but I followed the order. 

I never went into the field, I had experience from my previous job before the BAU. But Aaron never let me go with him to make an arrest which I never minded. I’d much rather work from the precinct or do an interrogation

I had my gun with me at all times but have I ever used it in an actual situation... With the BAU never once but with my other job yes. When Aaron and I got together he never changed a thing about how he acted towards me. It was always business but he did still worry about me. 

Going after regular criminals is definitely less nerve racking than serial killers. 

“Hotch sir”, I stopped him before he left the room. “Are you about me going with you? I can stay here, It’s not a problem.” 

“Y/n you’ll be fine. Strauss called earlier about how you never do anything, how I ‘benched you’. She wanted to see what you could do.” 

“But--” I tried to speak but JJ and Reid left the room and we needed to move over. “Look y/n we need to go.. come on.” He lightly tugged on my arm to follow him. I followed him as the rest of the team left the building. 

We climbed into the SUVs. The whole way there Hotch gave the orders that the ubsub was in the house, he didn’t plan on coming out alive. Morgan, Hotch, and I got into one car while Emily and Rossi went into the other. 

Aaron and Morgan could feel the nervousness radiating off of my body. Morgan turned around in the passenger seat, “Baby you gotta calm down.” 

I scoffed a dry laugh, “Easy for you to say, you guys do this all the time.” 

Aaron kept his hands on the wheel and focused on the road. “You’ve done this before nothings different.” 

“Yeah it is, I worked with those people in the field before and I trusted them. That's not me saying I don't trust you guys because I do... It’s just different.” 

“Just follow us you’ll be okay.” Aaron spoke and turned the corner on the street and my view revealed lines of cop cars and flashing lights. Hotch pulled over and we all got out of the car, I walked behind him and go to the back. 

He opens the trunk and pulls out three vests. I froze a little, being intimidated. I watched as Morgan and Aaron put on their vests. My eyes drifted over to Aaron, it fit his body perfectly. The navy blues kevlar fibers and white letters splayed across his chest. 

“Sweetheart, my eyes are up here.” He said teasingly after Derek had walked away. “Sorry”, he just smirked and helped me tighten my vest before we made our way over to the officers. 

“Are you ready?” Aaron and I walked over the house. 

“Totally.” I wasn’t ready, being too distracted.

--------------------------------------

On the jet Aaron sat in the back with his face buried in the files that scattered the table. I was with Emily and Derek on the opposite end. They were talking about Reid and teasing him while he was sitting in the seat next to us. 

While they were cracking jokes I couldn’t stop thinking about how Aaron looked in that fucking vest. He was already built but with the extra padding he just sparked that part of me.

My eyes drifted over to him working, he pen glided across the paper and his hands--

Zoning out I didn’t realize that he had noticed. Then my phone vibrated on the table. 

Aaron - Are you okay there

Me - Yeah I'm fine... why

Aaron - You’re staring

Me - No I wasn’t just thinking about you

Aaron - Me? You know what I think

Aaron - I think you couldn’t stop thinking about how I looked earlier. Your mouth was practically water at the sight of me. I bet you just wanted to get on your knees right there in front of everyone

I glanced up in surprise at Aaron and his files were closed and he was looking at me with a smug grin. 

Aaron - You’re imagining it now aren’t you

I was honestly, the things I’d do for that man. I clenched my thighs together and hoped no one noticed. 

I didn’t want to react but he was already getting a rise out of me. 

Aaron - You want to be on your back and have me over you with my cock buried so far, just wait baby

My eyes widened a bit and I put my phone back down. There was no hiding how flush my face was. “Who keeps blowing up your phone.” 

“Don’t worry about it”, i said too quickly and Emily reached over the table to grab my phone. I lunged over and snatched it back before she had the opportunity to search through it. 

“Okay...” JJ said after being included in the conversation. Aaron saw how I had excused myself from the table and went to the bathroom. 

When the plane landed we all exited and headed back to the office for the remainder of our things. 

After everyone left I joined them, going into my car from the garage, I heard a car behind me. Aaron pulled up and rolled down the window, “My place, now.” 

He didn’t say much after that, I climbed into the car and he reached a hand over to my thigh. His finger rubbed my thigh before the tipped of his fingers brushing, dangerously close to my core. 

I just glanced over at him, he was still in his suit. His shirt was so tight over his chest you could see the definition. 

We crossed the threshold of his house and not a second went by before my back was slammed against the wall.  

“Aaron”, he shook his head slightly. “I didn’t say you could speak.” 

“Please, I just-- I wanna ask you something.” 

“You get one question before I have my way with you”, his hand traveled down my neck and to hip, keeping me on the wall. “Wear it.” He raised his eyebrows. 

“The vest.” 

“I knew you couldn’t stop those thoughts from going into your pretty little head, you want me to wear a government issued bulletproof vest so you can have your fantasy.” I whimpered, I really wanted it. 

“I want you stripped and on the bed when I come back.” He released me and stepped away going out to the car. I went up stairs and in the bedroom shedding my clothes on the way. I kneeled on the bed and just waited and waited. 

When he didn’t return the arousal between my leg was already dripping down onto the bed, slipping a hand down I made slow circles on my clit. 

I was too focused on the sensation that I didn’t hear his heavy footsteps approaching the room. He watched with a smirk on his lips as I arched my back on the duvet. I got closer and closer to finishing and he could tell. 

My eyes snapped open and he was hovering over me, “I tell you when to cum... understand.” his voice was dark and coated with lust. I didn’t expect him, I thought I’d be able to hear.

I nervously nodded my head. “Tsk, are you going to be a good girl for me.” 

“Yes sir.” 

“I don’t think you are, needy little sluts always say whatever they need to get their way. That sounds like you doesn’t it?” He put a finger under my chin and lifted my gaze to match his. 

“No sir I promise.” 

“We’ll see won’t we, step off and get on your knees.” He pushed himself off the bed and I got the full view of him. It was like I saw him for the first time again, he looked so fucking good. 

I didn’t take a second thought before getting low in front of him, patiently waiting for him. Aaron was going to either take his time or be indescribably rough to get the message through. 

His hands went to his belt and took it off moving around me and buckling my hands together behind my back. 

Stepping in front of me he unzipped his pants and pulled them down enough to pull himself out. “Open”, he ordered before my jaw slacked as he slid his cock into my mouth. 

He looked down at me and my eyes met his. A groan escaped his lips before he took the motion. Sliding a hand behind my head and into my hair, he gripped a portion.

Tilting my head up a bit more so he could thrust in and out easier. “This is what you wanted right-- fuck little girl you’re doing that so well.” He gritted out using my mouth as a tool for his own pleasure. 

He was right, this is what I wanted, just the feeling of him inside my mouth was enough to make me cum. I wished he’d let me touch him, to just get a better grip and grab his thighs to stable myself. 

“I might actually let you finish tonight if you keep this up.” With the limited motion I had I flattened my tongue along his shaft and took him in as deep as I could before it was too much. 

I gagged around him, no matter how far we were into the scene he still cared about how I was feeling. Aaron pulled out and loosened my hair in his fingers, “You gotta breathe.” 

There was a string of saliva moving down my face as I swallowed and collected myself. "Are you okay?", I nodded softly.

"Do you want to keep going?" He gave me an out, he didn't want me to feel obligated to keep going just because of him. Aaron wanted me to feel comfortable.

"Yes", he resumed what he wanted. Opening my mouth back up. 

His cock moved slower to give me extra time to get okay again. When I moaned around him he got the message.

Pushing his hips into my face again and I got that feeling of my jaw being stretched. 

He groaned and his dick twitched and I knew he was close, I wanted him to finish but he pulled back. 

When he got a hold of my waist he tossed me on the bed. Flipping me over roughly my face pressed into the pillows below me. Aaron manhandled me like I was a ragdoll. “Well would you look at that, you really do get off when you act like the whore you are” There a small wet spot on the floor. 

My face was flushed and I caught my breath. Feeling the bed dip he adjusted my hips into the air. “Fuck”, I muttered my breath. 

“What was that.” I didn’t answer and he didn’t like that. 

His hand traveled over my curve of my spine and Aaron placed a slap onto my ass. Recovering he slammed himself into me and I jerked forwards. Letting out an embarrassingly loud moan I bit my lip and tried to hold them in.

“Now don’t do that now, I wanna. hear. you.” He every word he pumped in. I whimpered, getting the relief that had been building a few hours earlier. He grazed my g-spot deliciously and snaked a hand to my clit. 

“Oh god... fuck.” Leaning onto me his other hand wrapped around my neck and lifted me flush against his chest. I felt the kevlar on my back and it scratched my sensitive skin. 

His fingers tightened around my throat and squeezed. My vision went hazed and I rested my head back onto his shoulder. My back arched and I got every sensation I could. 

We locked eyes and he captured my lips in his, he slid his tongue over mine and claimed dominance. 

“Does the little bitch deserve to cum tonight.” He quickened his thrusts and I jolted. “Daddy please.” I clenched around him and I watched as he tossed his head back. I was already so close, and he knew it. 

“Sir can I cum.” 

“Not yet.” I could barely hold it, his pace on my clit was too much to handle. I choked out, “Aaron please.” 

“Go ahead baby.” Releasing the tension that was building was like breaking a dam. I came around him and I felt him pulse. My orgasm brought him over the edge and he spilled inside of me. 

I fell limp and he let me go, my pulse calmed as I came back to reality. He undid my restraints and I automatically pulled him on me, my lips met his.

“Come here”, he whispered against my lips and he helped me stand as my knees buckled. I couldn’t walk or stand on my own, “Fuck Aaron.” I chuckled and he brought me to the bathroom, cleaning up. 

I watched as he shed his clothes, to lazy to actually put them in the hamper they laid on the floor. “It was hot in that.” He said when he felt the cool air on his skin. 

I smirked and kissed him again, “and it was so fucking worth it.” 

“Glad you enjoyed it."

Getting up I made my way back into the bedroom and settled under the thin sheet. I laid my head down, Aaron had gone into the kitchen to get me some water.

When he came back he smiled at the sight, I was already sleeping so he placed the glass next to me on the table.

He got into bed, curling up with me. My sleeping body flipped over and automatically clung on to him. Putting my head on his chest, his arm moved around me and his hand rested on my hip.

Aaron kissed my temple and he fell asleep soundly.

[jokertrap-ran]

(光与夜之恋 Light and Night) Osborn’s 5✩ Inspiration: Black VS Black [黑色对峙] Date Translation (END 6: Heart-throb)

“Do you really think that I think there’s no helping you?”

*Light and Night Master-list | Osborn’s Personal Masterlist *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Join the Light & Night Discord (＾▽＾)~ ♪ *This 5✩ Inspiration has 6 Endings!! *Osborn’s tag will be #For Night, For Freedom *Requested by anon! You can check my on-going requests and more here!

✥ Choice: Heart-throb [心动] ★Night★

The cat caused an incident! What should I do?

⊹ Check the fallen model ⊹

I didn’t think too much about it, instead, hurrying over to where the car model had fallen. 

I picked it up and inspected the damages.

There was a long crack in the middle and several parts had broken off, scattering compartments all over the floor.

MC: Can this… still be saved…?

Just as I was thinking of how to break this bad news to Osborn, his low voice sounded from behind.

Osborn: What a big commotion.

Osborn: What? Did Mitt get into an accident?

I steeled myself and stopped covering the scene of the “car accident” that had occurred. I got up and handed him the car model that I held.

MC: The “culprit” knocked this car model down and fled.

Osborn frowned, reaching me in a couple of long strides.

He took the model and turned it around a couple of times, observing it with an indifferent look on his face.

MC: Is it too damaged to fix?

Osborn: I can just send it for repairs over the next few days. Let's go look for the cat first.

He calmly placed the broken car model back onto the shelf, taking a “let’s talk about this later” stance.

This model had been placed together with many other car models that looked new, pristine, and without a scratch. Not to mention, the glistening trophy that had been right next to it. A wild guess entered my mind.

MC: Do all the car models here hold some sort of commemorative meaning?

Osborn: Hm? Why do you ask?

MC: I mean, if they are some sort of special memento to you, then they should have been subjected to routine maintenance, right?

MC: If so, then you should also have the tools for it along with any part replacements, yes?

Thoughtfulness slipped into his eyes.

Osborn: You want to help me fix it?

MC: Yeah! That cat was just spooked real bad, and it wouldn’t do us any good if it got a bigger fright the next time and reacted even worse to it if we continued chasing after it.

MC: So, why don’t we leave the cat hunt for later and fix the car model back up first?

MC: Plus, I’m pretty dexterous with my hands. Wanna give me a chance to show you my prowess?

He raised an eyebrow, his pale green eyes glinting.

Osborn: Okay. Here's your time to shine.

Osborn stretched his arms over my head. For a while, all I could see was his broad chest. I felt my breath hitch.

Then, he suddenly lowered his head. His face was incredibly close to mine.

The scent of black cedar assaulted my nose. I blinked. My brain was lagging.

MC: Oh, okay.

Osborn: Take it.

My gaze slid to his hand. Turns out that he’d just been fetching the toolbox that had been in the cabinet above the display shelves.

Osborn: I'm waiting.

I took the toolbox from him and opened it.

I was greeted by a multitude of components in all shapes and sizes. Some of the tools in it were similar to the ones I used when making my designs, but there were also some that I’d never seen before.

I picked up a tool that looked like a cross between a pen and a knife, looking to Osborn for advice.

MC: What's this?

Osborn: An exacto knife. It’s used to cut off excess parts of the joints when required.

MC: Mmhm, okay. I've remembered it.

Osborn: This is a cutting plier, screw sanders, tweezers...

Osborn picked out a couple more tools from within the box and introduced them to me.

Osborn: Anything else you can't recognize?

MC: Not for now.

Osborn: Okay. Then let's remove the damaged compartments first.

MC: Okay.

First, we used a screwdriver to remove the damaged compartments. Then, we replaced them with brand-new spare parts.

This race car model was really different from those being sold out in the market. It was made with exquisite craftsmanship, and its internal makings were far more complicated than I'd initially thought.

When it was time to add colours to it, Osborn prepared the required paints and set them out in measured portions onto the palette with ease and finesse. He smoothly handed me a brush.

Osborn: Do you know how to touch up the paintwork?

I hesitated.

MC: I've painted outfit designs before for design needs, but I'm sure it's completely different from actually painting a model.

MC: I don't know if it works the same…

Osborn: See my demonstration first then.

He dipped his brush into the red paint, carefully painting it onto the model. It came out very uniform and smoothly layered.

I'd stared at him, watching him do it a couple more times. But, no matter how much I watched the same process, I couldn't quite grasp it. Even if I tried mimicking his actions, my paintwork always turned out patchy and uneven.

Osborn laughed, placing his hand over mine and directing the brush I held.

He directed my brush, guiding me on how I should be painting the compartment with a focused look on his face.

It was all serious and business, except… My focus was inevitably drawn towards his movements and breaths.

Osborn: Get it?

MC: Mmhm...

I tried my hardest to remember the way he did it and followed suit. The end result was much smoother than what I'd been accomplishing before.

After the finishing touches were in place, I raised the model and showed it to him.

MC: Like… this? This should be done now, right?

Osborn: Not bad. You've got standard.

My spirits soared at having received such direct praise from him.

MC: Since I'm such an apt learner, how about enlisting my help again the next time you make another model of a race car?

Osborn slightly raised a brow as he contemplated my paint-stained hands.

Osborn: I'll think about it.

MC: Does this even need to be considered?

MC: I'm pretty quick to pick up hands-on skills, not just fixing up models of racing cars! So I'm a fast learner no matter what it is!

MC: You can test me again if you don't believe me!

Just as I was boasting about my assets in an attempt to make myself appeal to him, Osborn's calloused fingers suddenly brushed against my cheek.

The rough texture of the pads of his fingers made my heart skip a beat.

MC: What's wrong?

Osborn: You got something on your face.

I doubtfully touched my face. Suddenly, I pulled my hand away to find my fingers stained with red paint.

Astonished, I look at Osborn's hands, only to find even more red paint on them…

MC: Don't tell me you drew something on it!!

Osborn: What gives?

MC: Hey! You're biting the hand that feeds!

Osborn: Whatever do you mean by that?

Osborn: I'm just adding some blush and colour to your face. Makes you prettier.

I was taken aback, nonetheless.

MC: Okay. Then, I'll add some colour to your cheeks for you!

Osborn: Whoa, hey! Easy!

MC: Nothing you say now is gonna stop me!

I swiftly picked up the brush and dipped it into the paint set out onto the palette, rushing straight for his face.

Osborn quickly reared back, but I subconsciously followed right after his retreat.

And this was how I toppled him down to the ground with him doing nothing to defend himself.

Osborn was astonished. He'd attempted to get back up, only for my other hand to immediately dart out to pin him down by the shoulder.

MC: No moving!

Surprise flashed through his eyes, as his usual impish smile crawled its way back up his face.

Osborn: Wow, what an aggressor.

MC: That's right. Now's my time to retaliate!

MC: No use trying to escape!

I circled the air with the brush, purposefully observing his face to make my mark.

MC: Hmm, what do you want me to draw on you?

Osborn seemingly accepted the fact that he was going to be an inevitable victim of mine since I already had him "pinned" down. He folded his arms behind his head, giving my question some serious thought.

Osborn: An air drawing?

MC: Dream on!

Osborn: Mercy, please. I beg you.

MC: It's too late to be begging me for mercy.

MC: Hmph. Just watch me improvise on the spot~

Just as I was rummaging through my brain for a glimmer of inspiration, a light bulb suddenly lit in my head. 

I had an image now: Mitt as it was fleeing.

❖☆———————————★❖

I leaned down, supporting myself on Osborn's shoulder. 

Following the curve of his jaw, I applied colour to his skin, drawing a colourful cat.

Osborn had his guard down, seemingly content to watch me work my "artistic talents" with him as the canvas.

The surroundings lapsed into silence.

I was drawing it on with such rapt concentration, yet I was still able to notice his long black lashes and hear his familiar steady breathing ever so clearly. I could somewhat feel the slight rise and fall of his chest.

I vaguely registered our close proximity to each other. My heart seemed unable to settle with the fact that we were so close to each other that our breaths intermingled, clamouring loudly within my chest.

I blinked twice, finishing off the last stroke before getting up and putting some distance between us.

❖☆———————————★❖

Osborn: Done?

I nodded.

Osborn: What do you think of your work of art?

Huh? Is he asking me to rate my own work?

I quickly gave him a once over, only to realize that I'd been distracted at the end, so it'd turned out a little funky. I nearly laughed at it right then and there.

MC: Ahem. I think it's not bad! You've got a big kitty on you now!

He waggled his brows, lazily raising his body halfway back up. His features were suddenly enlarged before my eyes once more as he leaned closer.

Osborn: Happy now?

MC: Mmhm… Pretty happy.

Osborn: Then let me tell you something that'll make you even happier.

He moved even closer, his words gently flowing with the air, wrapping themselves around my ears.

I shuddered as a scalding heat started creeping up my neck.

MC: ...What is it?

Osborn: The other kitty's right behind you.

Mitt: Meow~ Meow~

The last of his words were drowned out by the sudden meowing that sounded.

I snapped out of the trance of the moment, much to my embarrassment. Mitt had actually slinked behind me somehow without my knowing!

MC: Right, we should hurry and catch it before it gets up to no good again!

I quickly climbed off Osborn, flushing red as I fled.

A light chuckle sounded behind me in response.

❖☆———————————★❖

By the time we found Mitt, it was already sprawled out beside the TV cabinet with its paws stuck underneath, fiddling with something in the gap.

Recalling the layout of his living room, I quietly tip-toed and whispered my idea into Osborn’s ear.

MC: I’ll take left, you take right. We’ll pincer it.

Osborn: It’s already here, so there’s no need to go through so much trouble.

MC: Huh?

Osborn: Just wait and see.

Osborn took a couple of long strides forwards in the direction of the cat.

I followed after him, quietly approaching the black cat. However, my attention was suddenly caught by the photo frame that the cat had just been playing with.

Picking up the frame, I carefully observed it…

In the picture were Osborn and a couple of familiar-looking teammates. They’d all had an arm around each other’s shoulder, beaming as they held the same trophy.

Their faces all look much younger… Is this a photo from years ago?

The race car in the background had a red and white body with an orange rear spoiler, similar to the car model that Mitt had batted off its perch earlier.

MC: Don’t tell me… Was that car model made based on this race car?

I was lost in thought when a sudden meow broke my train of thought.

Osborn: Still wanna run?

❖☆———————————★❖

I raised my head to see Osborn with both arms raised, gently holding up the cat in question.

The bright and warm sunlight shone in through the window, carefully outlining his chiselled side-profile and the contours of his muscles.

Although Mitt had already been caught, it still glared daggers at Osborn. It was as if a cat and a human were engaged in a silent battle with each other.

After a while, Mitt seemed to register the fact that it’d lost, meowing pitifully in that soft cry once more.

❖☆———————————★❖

Osborn: Oh? You know how to beg for mercy now, don’t you?

Osborn carried Mitt to the little corner we’d set up for it. Mitt seemingly gave up on the game of chase, lowering its head to eat the cat food that we’d prepared for it since the very beginning.

Watching it eat its food so obediently, I couldn’t help but kneel down and stroke its round head.

Mitt cast a doubtful glance at me, but turned its head, indulging nuzzling itself into my palm.

MC: !

MC: I touched it! How cute…

Osborn: You’re that excited from just being able to touch it?

MC: Yeah. It looked so naughty that I thought I wouldn’t be able to touch it today.

Osborn: It’ll come running up to you for a lick or two so long as you have food.

MC: Then I MUST let it try the wet cat food! Maybe it’ll get closer to me!

I sped towards the sofa and picked up the packet of wet cat food, purposely waving it before its nose.

It couldn’t resist the offered temptation after all. Its soft fluffy paws batted at my wrist as it opened its mouth and cried its pleas.

MC: Okay, okay. Any more and you’ll end up a piggy.

I recalled something after putting away the remaining food. I picked up the photo frame that I’d set down earlier and handed it to Osborn.

MC: Oh, yeah. By the way, this was the photo frame that Mitt was batting with under the TV cabinet earlier. I don’t know where you normally display it.

He took the photo frame from me and glanced at it.

MC: And on that note, I realized that the car in the background looks very similar to the model we just pieced back together. Are they the same?

Osborn: Oh. The model was made according to this race car.

Suddenly, I recalled having seen the highlights of all his races before.

The year and month in which he’d won his first racing championship seemingly coincided with the time that this photo was taken.

My guess had tumbled out of my lips before I could stop it.

MC: Is this the car you drove when you won your first championship?

He quirked a brow.

Osborn: Why, you know me so well.

MC: Then… Is that car model something of a memento from that race?

Osborn: You can say that.

MC: I heard somewhere before that that car’s engine had to be changed out every two races. It shouldn’t be in use anymore, right?

Osborn: The engine exploded on me during that race, so it was only my companion once.

Osborn spoke lightly of it, but thinking of how exciting and terrifying it must have been back then, I couldn’t help but feel my heart sink a little.

MC: I’m glad the car model’s alright. Otherwise, it’d be such a pity for such a meaningful memento to get damaged like that.

Osborn: So I should thank you properly. Is that it?

MC: Huh? Thank me?

He chuckled lightly, his eyes sliding from the photo to my face. He had a slightly flippant look on his face.

Osborn: Weren’t you the one who made that car model more meaningful?

MC: ……

I was taken aback for a bit. I looked at him in surprise, only to find his gaze calm and gentle. There was a smile glimmering within his eyes.

Osborn: You were pretty clever when fixing the model. Why so stupefied now?

As his words sank in, I felt my heart flutter as I realized what he’d meant by having made it more “meaningful”. Something seemed to have filled my heart. It was a little flustering, yet also a little sweet.

I worried my lip and gathered my courage together before looking up to meet his eyes.

MC: Then, that makes me happier now…

MC: Although I didn’t get the chance to sit in on the race of your first championship and cheer you on…

MC: I was still able to piece the model back together and play a part in that precious moment of memory.

Inexplicable emotions surfaced in Osborn’s eyes, and in the next second, his big hand ruffled my hair with a vengeance.

Osborn: There’s really no helping you, is there?

I shyly ducked my head, but I couldn’t stop the corners of my mouth from rising.

At this moment, the sun had enveloped us both within its warmth.

The cat quietly ate by our feet, letting out a purr of satisfaction every once in a while.

Slowly but surely, unspeakable feelings started to bloom and spread within the confines of my heart.

I hope, from the deepest points of my heart, that time would always be eternally frozen in this beautiful moment.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

✥ Choose your Ending:

END 1 | Choice: Do Nothing [都不做]

END 2 +3 + 4 | Choice: Call Out [呼唤] ⊹Speak⊹

END 5 | Choice: Listen [倾听] ❖ASMR

END 6 | Choice: Heart-throb [心动] ★Night★

❖☆————— ⊹ For Night, For Freedom⊹ —————★❖

Previous Part: (Prologue)

[witchyweasley]

Release the Tension Part 2

Pairing: Fred Weasley x fem!reader

Summary: After a rough practice, you and Fred continue your FWB agreement.

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: smut, 18+ themes, oral (female receiving), fingering, unprotected sex

Part 1

~~~~~~~~~~

Quidditch practice is never easy, but it’s normally not this bad for me. I was constantly distracted, both by my thoughts and by one of the redhead beaters.

“What’s wrong with you?! Get your head in the game, girl!” Angelina yelled to me as I dropped the quaffle she threw at me.

I groaned and flew down to pick the ball up from the ground and try to redeem myself. Right as I was throwing the quaffle into the goals, someone’s broom knocked into mine, causing me to almost lose my balance. A hand grabbed my waist and steadied me back on the broom.

“Whoa love, sorry about that. Was trying to make sure the bludger didn’t kill you, didn’t take into account that I would,” Fred said before flying away.

Practice after that didn’t get any better. I kept dropping the quaffle or missing the goal entirely. Harry kept yelling at me, which wasn’t helping my stress levels. As soon as the practice was over I hurried into the changing rooms, trying to get in and out without talking to anyone. I’m sure they could all tell something was up. I haven’t been that bad at quidditch since I was learning it as a child.

“Hey! Wait up!” Fred yelled to me as I sped out of the changing room. He lightly jogged to catch up with me, slipping a shirt over his head as he did so. I turned around to face him, not sure of what to say.

“Are you alright?” Fred asked, walking next to me as we headed into the Great Hall.

“Honestly, not great. Classes were awful, quidditch practice was awful, everything is just awful right now,” I ranted.

“Thanks,” Fred said sarcastically.

“Okay so you’re not awful,” I corrected myself, taking a seat in the great hall. Fred sat down next to me.

“Sorry about practice by the way, I really didn’t mean to almost knock you down,” he said, filling up his plate with food.

“It’s fine, I should’ve been paying more attention,” I said as George and Angelina sat across from us.

“Yeah is everything alright? You seemed a little off today,” Angelina asked.

“A little off? I dropped every quaffle you threw me!” I sighed.

“Okay yeah, you were kind of terrible out there,” she admitted.

“Fuck,” I said, putting my head down on the table.

“I’m sure it was just a fluke, you’ve had a lot on your mind,” Fred said, rubbing my back.

“Yeah we all have our bad days,” George said, “Speaking of which, we should probably get going, Angelina.”

“Where are you two going?” I asked.

“Remember? Greaseball gave Angelina, Lee, and me detention this morning because of our potions,” George said.

“Oh shit, that’s right. Well have fun cleaning the trophy room,” I said.

“I wish we were cleaning the trophy room. This time he decided we needed to clean the potions room and his storage cabinet. It’s going to take hours, even with the three of us,” Angelina said, taking a final bite of her food before they all headed out to detention.

“So…” Fred started.

“So?” I continued.

“Remember what I said earlier? Both of my roommates just got hours worth of detention…” he said, hoping I would catch on.

“Oh...oh!” I said, remembering when we almost got caught by Filch in the corridor. I got up from the table and started heading back to our common room. When I turned around, Fred was jogging to catch up with me.

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“Really? I swear you Weasley’s can be so dense at times,” I laughed, rolling my eyes.

“What? What do you mean?” he asked.

Once we were out of view from people I turned around, grabbed his shirt collar, and brought his lips down to mine.

“You’re the one who said your roommates were gone, and right before practice you said ‘We can continue this after quidditch practice,’ so I figured we could go continue,” I explained.

“I know, I just wanted to see if I could get you to kiss me,” he smirked, kissing me again before heading towards the Gryffindor common room again.

Thankfully, most Gryffindors know I’m friends with the twins and Lee, so it’s not strange to see me go to their dorm room to hang out.

As soon as I closed the door to his room, I was pressed up against it with his soft lips against mine. His arms wrapped around my waist as mine slid up his chest and into his hair. He pulled away to lift my shirt over my head, revealing my lacy bra, before pulling me back into the kiss. I slipped my hands under his shirt, lifting it over his head, with some much needed help from him due to the height difference. Before he could pull me back into the kiss, I cast a quick silencing spell and made sure the door was locked.

As we kissed, we slowly moved to his bed. He backed into it, pulling me down to straddle his lap as he did so. His hands gripped my hips as I slowly grinded against him, causing him to moan softly. I tugged his hair back, exposing his neck so that I could trail kisses down it. Right as I got to his collarbone, he pushed my hip and flipped me over. He quickly removed his pants before getting on top of me.

He pressed a quick kiss to my lips before trailing down my neck, leaving wet kisses and softly nipping at the skin. His hands rested over my bra, rubbing circles around my nipples through the thin lace, as he kissed down my sternum and down my stomach. I lifted my hips slightly so that he could slide my pants down.

As he crawled back on top of me I reached down to palm him through his boxers, only to have my hand pinned above my head.

“Nope, this is all about you. I had mine earlier, now it’s time for you to get yours,” he smirked. He kissed me harshly before dropping to his knees at the edge of the bed. His arms wrapped around my thighs and pulled me closer to the edge, holding me so that my legs were spread out in front of him.

I propped myself up on my elbows, watching his every move. His arms were still wrapped around my thighs, his hands now massaging them gently. He pressed wet, open mouth kisses to my inner thigh, moving closer and closer to the edge of my underwear.

Locking eyes with me, he licked a stripe right over where I wanted him most, causing a small whimper to escape me. He smirked and moved one hand to rub circles over my covered clit, his other hand continuously massaging my thigh as he did so.

My hips moved slightly, trying to grind against his hand, but my actions were soon stopped by his strong grip.

“Uh uh, you may be getting yours but I’m still in charge,” he smirked, continuing his slow circles. My breathing became deeper as I felt myself get wetter at his actions.

His grip on my thighs loosened as he moved his hands to the waistband of my underwear, snapping it against my skin before slowly pulling it down. I lifted my hips slightly to help and watched as he tossed my lacy underwear to the side. His hands returning to their original spots around my thighs, holding them open for him.

I locked eyes with him as he pressed more soft kisses to my inner thigh, sighing as he lightly sucked in one spot, creating a small mark.

“Now let’s see how the pretty girl tastes,” he said, spreading my thighs further, and licking a long and slow stripe against my wet pussy, never losing eye contact. I whimpered softly as he repeated the action teasingly.

“What is it, doll?” he smirked before continuing his slow torture.

“More,” I breathed out, “please.”

He laughed and attached his mouth back onto my aching pussy, still continuing a slow pace but now focusing on drawing circles around my clit with his tongue.

My head threw back and one hand tangled itself into his ginger hair, grabbing fistfuls of it. Fred groaned as I tugged at the hair, sending small vibrations around my clit.

“Fuck, Fred,” I moaned out as he quickened his pace. When I tried to buck my hips again he pulled away. I opened my mouth to question him, but all that came out was a moan as he slipped a finger into me.

His head rested on my thigh as he slowly fingered me, occasionally brushing his thumb over my sensitive clit. He then added another finger, still pumping slowly into me. His other hand that was wrapped around my thigh moved over and started rubbing my slit as he slowly sped up his pace.

My breathing was heavy and my moans were sporadic as he pumped his fingers in and out of me. Right as I could feel my orgasm creeping up, he removed his fingers from my clit and replaced it with his tongue. Swirling the bundle of nerves with his tongue and increasing his pace with his hands, my hips bucked unintentionally. Instead of moving away like he had previously, he just continued to try and hold me in place where he wanted me.

“Fuck, fuck Freddie, I’m gonna cum,” I whined. He continued sucking my clit and fingering me, looking up at me as he did so. I felt myself tense up, trying to close my legs due to the stimulation, but Fred’s strong grip kept my shaky legs open as I reached my high. He removed his fingers and slowly licked up the length of my slit, cleaning up my juices before sucking on his fingers as well.

He leaned over me and pressed a kiss to my lips, letting me taste myself on him. When he stood up to take off his boxers, I stood up as well on my shaky legs.

“What are yo-whoa!” He started as I pushed him down onto the bed.

“I wanna ride you,” I said, straddling his hips, grinding my slick heat against his erection.

“I’m not gonna stop you,” he smirked, putting his hands behind his head. I lifted my hips slightly and lowered myself down slowly, feeling how much he filled me out. He let out a low moan as he watched himself disappear inside of me. His hands grabbed onto my hips as I began riding him, guiding me up and down his cock.

He reached up and cupped my breast, pinching my nipple through my bra. Our moans filled the room, and I was very grateful for the silencing charm.

Fred suddenly sat up, causing me to pause in my movements. He pressed warm kisses to my neck as his arms snaked behind me, swiftly unhooking my bra and slipping it down my arms.

“Why’d you stop?” He breathed out, kissing my collar bones. Instead of giving a verbal response, I continued riding him. His hands continued guiding my hips as he pressed a hot kiss to my lips, our moans mixing together. One hand wrapped around my waist and held me tight as he began thrusting his hips up to meet mine, his mouth now traveling down to my breast and catching my nipple and swirling it with his tongue.

“Fuck Fred, you feel so good,” I moaned out, letting him take control of the pace.

“So do you, love,” he groaned, flipping me over so that he was on top. His hips pounded into me, and one hand moved down to rub my clit. I felt myself tensing up again, reaching my second orgasm of the night.

“Where do you want my cum?” He breathed out.

“Wherever you want,” I moaned out.

“Fuck, can I cum in your pussy?” He moaned out, his thrusts getting sloppy.

“Cum in my pussy, Freddie. Fill me up,” I moaned out. His sloppy thrusts quickened, grunting as he did so.

“I’m gonna cum, baby. I’m gonna cum in that pretty little pussy,” he groaned as he continued pounding into me. Soon his thrusts slowed down and I felt him release the hot liquid into me, filling me completely. Both of us moaning loudly as he did so. He slowly removed himself, looking at the mess he made before grabbing a towel so that we could both clean ourselves up.

“Feel any better?” He jokingly asked.

“Loads better,” I teased.