#i wanna chill im here to chill
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Every day is so emotionally draining I don't know where to turn to. I'm gonna keep drawing. And. What I'll see it'll be, I don't have the strength to reach out to look for even more awful topics after Everything that is happening with the world, online and my own life. Believe the victims. That's all I'll say
#its something new every day. always something bad.#like genuinely ive been struggling and while I'd love to. do. more. i cant even force myself to think about things too much because I'll#break down and my mental helth is already fucked up. sorry? idk what to say just. I'll be here i guess. but im taking steps back from the#tragedies and awful actions happening#i wanna chill im here to chill#idk#take care everyone dont push yourselves<3#rare rambling
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Will you end up totally leaving the hazbin fandom for murder drones and never draw it again😭😭?? Maybe I’m just paranoid cause you’re my favorite hazbin artist. It’s totally your choice which fandom you draw for though
that's too much, dontcha think? HAHAAHA
No, I wont ::3
Just bc I've been drawing smth else, doesn't mean I won't come back n draw the other or shit like that. In fact, I have a lot in store for both!
#messyr#chill chat i can like other things too w/o needing to 'leave' the other#plus i still have a lotta stuff for HH! ::]#it just happened to be that I wanna extend my content for MD (it's actually such a small fandom with *weird WEIRD* ppl im going insane‐#i need ppl to see stable content sO HERE I AM CONTRIBUTING WITHOUT THE NEEDING TO SAY “ what the fuck? ”)
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live drama adaptations part 2 (prev)
cast reveal and girls movie night 🔥
#i actually had the first three pages done for like. months now. and then i just forgot 🧍♂️#theres one more part to this but as to when ill finish that. haha#duck scribbles#minicomic tag#midoyuzu#and a bit of tomohaji on the side#doodles#enstars#midori takamine#hajime shino#yuzuru fushimi#tori himemiya#ibara saegusa#this is. a lot better quality than the first initial one amsdkjgshdgsmd i kindaa wanna redo it but its already a multiple part one i dont#think ill do that to myself rn akjdgskjwkjgjkd#its been 8 months i doubt anyone would remember the initial one but its ok u dont have to read it#i completely made up this manga and am now a little sad its not a thing that exists#i wish haruno was a real character i could post mangacaps of#thought too hard about it and there isnt any way to fit it into here but there is also a fourth character harunos childhood gyaru friend#also in love w her. she ends up having some sort of alliance with naoto but obviously its in vain too but its all chill#manga ends with haruno opening her dream cafe and asahi later joins her there after training a new team to take care of their old one#naoto becomes a regular there also w his new bf :] happy ending !!!#wow i have drawn Way too much lately. forgive me for such behavior ill probably be posting a lot less from here on out askjdgksjhgs#needed the food for when im away from my laptop for a week....#guess ill never get to finish that other lil comic i had planned for that sleepover drawing i made back during rarepair week </3#does anyone actually read these anyhow. i talk too much maybe
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The no hextech timeline proves silko right One of my big issues with the alternate timeline stuff is that we're shown a better zaun, a better way, how things Could have gone And the only Real Reason for said change we're given is Vi dying Vi dies=no hextech=no/less oppression somehow??? Sure no hextech would cause extreme changes in the timeline but it would not make the rich suddenly develop empathy and change laws n whatever To me, the only logical explanation here would be that there was a riot. Vis death being a spark that lit a fire in Vander again. Vi dies in jayces apartment. This causes the rest of the kids to stay there, to shocked to leave before the enforcers arrive(we see this happen) and the enforcers, after getting over the initial shock of the whole thing, then arrested the kids. When news reaches Vander it shows him that no matter how much he grovels for piltovers scraps of peace there will never be Real peace without a fight. He cannot meaningfully protect his family in a system that punishes them for existing, no matter how hard he tries. He now Agrees with silko, they need to fight back, he has to get his kids back. He has to make a better future for them. This is the only way I could realistically see them reconciling And I feel it's the only way there could be this big of a change in such a short time, a few years is Nothing in politics, the rich will fight you every step of the way when you try and change the status quo. The only way they would have gotten those changes is by denying piltover the ability to say no to them.
#it just pissed me off that were shown this happy au something that gives ekko a hope for a better future#but theyre so scared of having actual Opinions on politics that they couldnt show us How they reached a better future#it just happened Shrug#extra annoying when the founder of the city itself is just chilling there living his best life avoiding consequences#after having failed zaun for so many years#like huh u wanna stay here in this nicer better version of reality instead of dealing with the mess tthat ur partially responsible for??#im not hating on heimerdinger btw i think this aspect of his character is really interesting#i just wish it was done intentionally n actually explored#(semi related: he does not seem to care at all/acknowledge that if he stays he is like... stealing his universes heimerdingers life???)#anyway for my other beef with the no hextech au u can check out my previous post like n subscribe B)#arcane critical#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane criticism
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finding out ur coworker is way older than you thought and having to very quickly reorient how you talk to them
#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#synthv#synthesizer v#genbu#kasane teto#rikka is also here :) i think she likes to cause problems sometimes. because all the adults in her life are dweebs#and very easy to cause problems with <3#anyone else have this happen before. im older than a lot of my university peers and i always have been#because i took 5 years in highschool and my undergrad has been like 6 years and counting#(hashtag learning disability <3 ) and like thats chill to me i dont mind#but now i usually assume everyones way younger than me and i get shocked when theyre not. a buddy in some of my classes#when i first met her i absolutely and completely assumed she was like barely 19 and talked to her as such#like i dont talk down to people or anything but i do soften the way i talk a bit and give a bit extra patience with younger peers#cause yknow. i remember what it was like being 19. being 26 is WAY easier lol so i wanna give em a bit of leeway yknow#anyway a few months after meeting her i found out she was actually a year older than me and a grad student when she ended up as a TA in#another class i took. i felt so bad. we bonded tho and she didnt mind she thought it was kinda funny when i was like WAIT UR A GRAD STUDENT#i thought she was like a first or second year undergrad..............#also yeah im a 31yo teto fan. i dont mind the popular fanon that she has a separate age that makes her actually 15 and#i dont mind that more interpretations have her like that BUT for my internal canon she is a grown ass woman because i think its fun <3#she pays taxes. she goes to work parties. she can rent a car. i love it#let teto rent a car. let her rent a car.#yknow im exicted to be 31. i still got a few more years of being a 20 something which is fun. but being a 30 something sounds like it rules
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the draft counts at 115. get ready for tonight bitches
#chilling in solar lights#i cant unleash them all cause either its#a) writing projects i wanna make and keep in here to remind me#b) rambles i must share my thoughts on#c) a reblog chain i never finished#or d) that one troy longford art im keeping in there till i catch up with wonderlust#however most of those arent any of those so be ready for The Flood
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adam oates on sportsnet 590 breaking down auston's ability to get open and shoot the puck, mitch's ability to make plays and see the ice, and their chemistry together being poetic | 02.20.24
#toronto maple leafs#auston matthews#mitch marner#1634#hockeyvid#hockeyanalysis#this... like flksdj kinda gave me chills. i love unabashed praise really and truly it makes me wanna cryfhudjs#they ARE so poetic#even macho sports men know it#comparing mitch to gretzky im yodeling klFJSDKLF#shoutout to @fouraloe on here for putting this on the twitter tl and making me SPIRAL fuck
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havin fun :]
#that guy on the right side of the screen drew me completely unprompted btw they are Awesome :D#blurry_art#cause i drew the puyo woo#puyo puyo#puyo posting#puyoposting#webfishing#needed this game tbh i dont play casual games all that often and this is a breath of fresh air akjsdhs#everyone is so chill here its nice :D#if you guys wanna play with me give me a heads up id love to hang out#no time limit on this either im free whenever woo
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hey all, I'm tentatively closing chat dms because i have become unable to keep up with them on a regular basis and they keep building up past manageable levels for me ^^; i would like to respond to all of them but I have to accept I simply am no longer able to, super sorry about that
I know a lot of you like to send me posts you think I'll like but I cant see all of them and I can't dedicate time of the day to scrolling through them :[
asks will remain open so you can send me stuff there still though (but preferrably not links to posts, sorry)
Im not sure if ill eventually answer the ones currently in my inbox i just. havent been able to answer im rly sorry i genuinely feel embarrassed that they sit unread for so long its like an ouroboros of anxiety for me
#i like it when people send me stuff dont get me wrong!! i just... cannot fucking manage anymore 😭#im already not on here very much lately. it sucks bc i wanna build rapport and community but gawd! damn!#that life can busy!!#thunderclap#im unable to close them completely and conversations will still be there available if you already messaged me#so im asking for a little peace if thats the case if possible!#and for the record this happens irl too with my chats there. its not that i have anything against anyone i just suck at balancing stuff#especially when im busy#peace out fellas i hope you have a chill day
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Bunch'a character concept doodles i did for @ogseitai and their boy Rune yesterday.
He asked me to make a toxic man for Rune's backstory and then we cooked up three.
Boe is kitted out as the ultimate support character so his pup can kick ass.
#my art#doods#character design#Mara#im not content with Mara's design yet- so it'll go through a few changes.#but here's the basic idea y'know?#edgy boy backstory stuff- my favorite#demon#i wanna expand the Shepard a lil too- thats boe#kinda got a 'fairytale' theme going on and i lOVE THAT SHIT#holy shit i could base the dad off of Jack and the beanstalk.. he's like 'retired' and just lives on his farm. that'd be cute.#jack and the beanstalk who married chill and had their son Boepeep aHA /j#no im not making MORE ocs- what do you mean!??! shut up.
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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✨ Gender-related venty confusion below the magic line ✨
Me: *has checked 'female' on every form I've ever done
Also me: didn't touch a skirt for most of my childhood (including wearing a suit to primary school prom), passed out when I learned what periods are, spent years starving myself to get rid of my boobs and hips and stop my period from happening, has tried every form of birth control to stop having periods because I cannot cope with them, has shaved my head three times, is kinda considering top surgery, always wished I was six feet tall and has spent the last 25 years feeling like im failing at womanhood cus i dont really understand what it is
............. Oh no
#ooooh god#why is this so long?#i wanna just be chilling#i dont wanna be figuring this shit out#why must i have a body?#question of my life#anorexia 🤝 dysphoria 🤝 fear of mysogyny and sexualisation#ohohohoho#we still ballin though#no doubt about that#am i nonbinary?#who can say#what i do know is that i cannot be botheredddddddddd aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#hillyspeaks#hilly needs a fucking break#anyone want my tits? im done with them#send help i hate it here
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today im going on an adventure (read: sending lots of emails) to find out: can i play video games on the library computer if its technically for research
#current situation is that the librarians are chill with it but they dont have admin privilege to let me install the games#so now im asking tech ppl if they can override that for me#anyway the issue here is that i wanna play some pc only games but i dont have a pc#my library has consoles available for check out but not a dedicated gaming computer#so u see my problem#anyway i swear this is for my dissertation#txt#ari adventures
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So stressed that you're calm but cannot for the life of you be productive because of this weird state you're in
#the deadlines are deadlining and im in this headspace where i just wanna cry but at the same time im totally chill#im going back and forth like a pingpong ball#i know the solution is to just do it but again. my brain wont cooperate#there is an invisible wall between me and my laptop i can see the blank document staring back at me but i cant do anything about it#i hate it i hate it i hate it#on top of it all i accepted a 9/10 hour shift on my only free day which also happens to be the day of 2 of my deadlines :')#i am doing so well i love it here#ramble gamble
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YAY WOOHOO YAY!!!!! i got my fuckinggg !!! english c1:) 'certificate in advanced english' i Killed it !!!! my powerrr
#i was 3 points away from c2 !! can u believe it#i did Not do as well on the reading part as i did on the others#but idc i did well enough to get the c1 rating 🔥#i wanna share this here bc im proud of myself:) my Sick Skills#this was with NO preparation . btw#i did no preparation tests . no tutoring . its all me 🔥!!!! like ofc i talked to my friends in english daily but like... thats not rlly#preparation? wer were just chilling. just hanging out. how friends do... auhhh#i think ill be upset one day that i was 3 points away from c2#but rn im not. i was worried id be like 3 points away from c1 lol that i wouldnt pass. but i did!!!! soim happy :) and idc about c2 bc that#wasnt even a possibility in my mind. im happy:) yay
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feeling v proud of myself for eyeing something and thinking “that seems like it's 70 inches” then it was 😌
#ms ma'am needs to return some curtains she got for her room oops 🙈#looked at it when i got home like ah yes. i should have measured that but alas. the lack of brain cells 2day#im still catching up energy wise 😮💨 feels nice 2 slowly get settled though!!#now that ik i can hire movers to help i wanna furnish my place more. kind of. i also don't plan on living at this particular apartment for#more than a year‚ but it ain't too bad 😌 more importantly I'm Here!!! finally out of the city™#everyone I've talked to so far has been rly chill.#Seattle im not going to miss you..#only Someone.. but we will visit each other ♡ he's coming over to see me on my vacation and im taking it late next month ^.^#not going anywhere just like.. god I've been so strong and brave about everything for the past year n a half/2yrs#but i NEED to rest!! idk how much time i have but i know i have over a week maybe 2#2 sounds right.. been a while since i checked 😳 i want to roam and explore...#omg and i think i know my First Place i want to go check out (。ノω\。) theres a fish hatchery im rly curious abt. I've never been! 😯#╰( ̄ω ̄o) they got some other fun places too. aquarium + a(t Least one) zoo
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