#i wanna borger now

[creature-spotter-87]

little dude spotted!!

[solradguy]

how get motivation- I'm struggling out here to gain any lol- I wanna drift around n listen 2 gg music all day and just look at fanart and fanfiction not get a job or anything like that smh, tbh how do you get like- motivation to do things you want either tho- I need some motivation in life smh- and maybe a Borger. ~pumpkin anon

For me it's usually like, well... no one else's gonna do it so I might as well because I really want to get it done haha Focusing on how good it is to be done with stuff instead of on the actual task of doing it sometimes helps too. Like scanning entire books or washing my hair's a drag, but getting that final .PDF together and not having greasy hair sticking to my neck anymore feels better than the dull agony of having to do either of those things rofl

Once you get back into the groove of a routine it gets easier. I've done pretty much fuck all since I finished my last two zine projects but I gotta get back on it now... ugh....

[cowsaresushi-coral]

anyways, more mcdonalds.

kinda wanna do a dennys. you know, once you’re in, you might as well just go all the way around.

[chiveburger]

DAY6 MCFUCKING COMING BACK I’M GOING TO HAVE A STROKE

[caelcstis]

i will just say now that i am home...raphael is a happy boi and will take the absolute most love from his peacock

[devildomwriter]

Obey Me As Tumblr #10

MC: I burned like 3/4 of my forearm on the oven while I was making chicken and my friend was like “honey put some butter on it that draws the heat out” so he was rubbing a stick of butter on my arm and his brother was like “what’s for dinner” as he walked in and saw him slathering my arm in butter and he just slowly backed away

•

Leviathan: Putting tape over my webcam thinking about how the CIA agent watched me cry everyday for a year and didn’t once check up on me: cut toxic people out in 2021

•

Mammon: Why do 90% of medicines sound like cool wizard names?

Leviathan: It is I, Zyrtec, the almighty!

Solomon: You are no match for Xanax the Wise!

•

MC: I’m watching a sports

MC: The sports did good

Simeon: Did the ball go

MC: Fuck dude it sure did

•

Mephistopheles: Swear worlds are illegal now. If you say one you’ll be fined

Mammon: Heck

Mephistopheles: You’re on thin fucking ice

Mephistopheles: Oh no

•

Beelzebub: What if mayonnaise comes in cans?

Solomon: That would suck because you can’t microwave metal…

Diavolo: Good morning to everyone except these two people

•

Mammon: When you shake laminated paper and it does the thing

Diavolo: fwuuubufbuwbfwubfufbuwbuuuBUWBUBHUFUFBUWBUFBUB

Mammon: Exactly

•

Satan: So this lady came in this morning and walked up to the front desk to greet us before gasping loudly and saying “I forgot my dog”

She forgot to bring her dog with her

To the vet

•

Belphegor: Anyone wanna get in an argument with me

Mammon: Ok cream cheese isn’t that good

Belphegor: I was kidding but you know what fuck you for real

•

Leviathan: “You’ll understand when you’re older”

I am older and I understand absolutely nothing

Mammon: #i actually understand less

•

Beelzebub: Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family

MC: Are you Canadian

•

Mammon:

Devildom confession

I’ve never seen snow irl

Mammon: I posted this and it snowed like two inches a week later for the first time in like 35 years wtf

Mammon:

Devildom confession

I’ve never had a million dollars

•

Asmodeus: Does the term “staff member” make you laugh because those two words both mean penis

Leviathan: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

•

MC: Millennial culture is having two wildly different conversations with the same person on two different apps at the same time

Conversation one — Beelzebub: cheese borger

Conversation two — Leviathan: that’s why I think I’m so afraid of making myself vulnerable because my father taught me I couldn’t ever truly trust anyone

•

Mammon: Just realized you don’t need to say 6am or 6pm, we already know the m is there so just wrote like 6a or 6p. Can’t believe no one figured this trick out before.

Satan: Or you could do the easy thing and say 0600 and 1800

Mammon: Yeah like adding a bunch of unnecessary zeroes is easy you piece of shit you fucking coward

•

Mammon: I hate being high why I keep hearing footsteps

Barbatos: Are you walking?

Mammon: Oh shit

•

Satan: A bicycle is the acoustic version of a motorcycle

Thirteen: What the fuck is everyone on this site taking?

•

MC: My roomba is scared of thunderstorms.

MC: I was sitting at my desk just a few minutes ago, drawing, and a really loud crack of thunder went off—no power surges or anything, just thunder—and my roomba fled from its dock and started spinning in circles

I currently now have an active roomba sitting quietly on my lap

Raphael: Humans will pack bond with anything

Last • Next

[lesbianstarlightglimmer]

so my valentines was spent...

at work in 4°F with basically a blizzard running out orders or handing them out of the window and constantly cleaning up slush bc the dumbasses who not only came to get some ~chicky strips and borgers~ in a blizzard BUT DECIDED TO SKIP THE QUICK DRIVE THRU AND WALK INSIDE TO GET FOOD AND HAVE TO CAREFULLY WALK BACK. and they couldnt even be bothered to TRY to stomp their shoes off on the welcome mat thing??? lmfao

but there really wasnt many customers which was especially weird for a sunday (yeah there was a blizzard but the people of my town are utter morons) so there was a lot of down time

that sounds nice but i then spent the rest of the time anxious af about not knowing what to do with all that down time bc ik the managers would start getting upset if things werent getting done like they do normally but like??? you can only clean so much and restock so much??? what do i do then??? fake clean or fake check stock????

anyways that lead up to me during my last hour suddenly realizing my anxiety at work is directly influenced by how my f*ther will get annoyed and snippy if he thinks everyone is sitting around or not doing the task HE thinks needs to be done (even if im working on homework he still acts annoyed that im not doing his thing) and is constantly wanting to know what we are doing/where we are going which leads to me constantly telling my managers “im getting the mop” so they know my whereabouts bc im just so used to being monitored ig

and also on days my moms at work i have to act as her stand in and constantly be at his side asking what he needs me to do to avoid getting passive aggressive remarks or his chihuahua growl or whatever (high pitched but still low and dangerous sounding) for not being his mom or whatever the fuck you wanna call the horrible relationship between him and my mother

and this is an old realization but the reason why im so good with customers is bc living w my f*ther for 23 years has made me exceptionally good at pampering and bending to every whim to pacify customers. im so used to hearing him pretend like hes the only one thats right and as soon as someone else has A Point he makes A Point of shutting us down and saying that hes right--end of story. or not reading the signs and acting like its our fault they (he) didnt understand

oh and he drove me to work today too so i had to spend an awkward 10 minutes w him and he was already in a foul mood bc he took my mom to work and ig when he got back he needed to let addie out to pee so she didnt make a mess of the garage floor and accidentally set off the alarm and was cussing at me to just close the door bc the dog was nosing her way there (never answering my question of whether he thought the roads were safe or not for him to take me) and then we kept having this back and forth argument on the way there (basically he wanted me to keep my phone on me at all times in case the weather got bad so he could call me lmao as if i could answer at work LMAO but i kept trying to explain my pockets were too small for my new phone and somehow he thought NOTHING fit in my pockets and THEREFORE i needed to give him everything except my license and credit card until i finally repeated it enough times ig he finally figured out my WALLET AND KEYS can fit in my pocket but my PHONE cannot but i can safely store it away in the break room.) that was making me nervous bc i could tell he was ready to snap and i was just trying my best to remain calm and explain. 

and i had my near-breakdown or panic/anxiety attack (whichever one involves shortness of breath/squeezing chest/feeling of dread/shaking) at the end of my shift and got scared shitless when i noticed his car in the parking lot about 15 min before i was scheduled to go and so i snuck back to the back to check my messages and make sure he wasnt needing me there asap so i didnt hafta hear him bitch about waiting on me. he said to take my time and “whenever” which is always a precarious place like “whenever you can” or “whenever so long as its like right now” and so once i left i was trying hard not to shake and keep anxiously dumping my day to him so there was no room for him to talk 

also the anxiety killed my stomach and so did the fact they put me on break early so only breakfast foods and the combo of early morning + eating = nausea and gagging through my food and then dinner was ribs which my f*ther took to DROWNING in bbq sauce for his own needs and the fact that those ribs make me sick bc of one time where i had a HORRIBLE headache and ate one bite before getting sick so now my brain associates the taste/smell w getting sick so theres that. oh and sauce in general makes me sick and like i said this shit was DROWNING in bbq sauce. oh and he made egg salad (which i dont eat) and when my mom got back from work he asked her if it tasted right and she said “more mayo and sugar” and he did and the mayo was SO DISGUSTINGLY STRONG SMELLING it nearly tipped my stomach over the edge.

 so all of that combined means i feel sick af...mentally AND physically...

[violetkatgrove]

inhales

i hunger

[daffodi1]

I would like to kindly ask for the context of ur Tumblr Title.

OKAY segue from everything bad that's happened in the past few days, we're gonna go back to a simpler time.

My partner works as waitstaff at a bowling alley/bar and they tend to pull really late hours, but whenever they get off from work, they're usually pretty hungry and wanna get food. Because of Coronapocalypse 2020, most takeout places aren't open that late at night anymore, but we have this one McDonald's that's connected to a truck stop that's open 24/7, and we go there a lot to get food after their shift is over.

This one night I'm running kinda low on money, since my job at the office is about to shut down and I'm getting less and less hours, so my partner is planning on paying. But being waitstaff, they carry a LOT of cash in mostly singles, so they end up paying the cashier in all singles.

And he says this thing like "Damn, making me feel like a stripper with all these ones" (it's a truckstop at 1am, nobody cares about formality) and like. I've seen him a couple of times, and we usually go 👀 👀 at each other because he's pretty cute and idk, I like to think I'm not terrible to look at or anything. But he set me up PERFECTLY and my STUPID blunt ass immediately blurts, "Haha, you're cute enough to be one~" and I'm immediately like FUCK WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT (I don't think it's polite to hit on people on the clock but LIKE. I think he's into me anyway?) but he seems to take it okay, like, he blushes a little and everything. We get our food and go and my partner is like, "WHORE" but it's all good b/c we're a polyam triad anyway in a semi-open relationship, they're just teasing me. We leave and think nothing of it.

That is, until the NEXT time we go to McDonald's. My partner and I aren't super hungry so we only order some fries, and lo and behold, that guy is the one dude who took my order. He shyly hands me my stuff and we do the little 👀 👀 thing that we usually do at each other. But after he bids us goodnight and we leave, I find a whole ass burger in the bag that we didn't order. My partner is HOWLING at this point at my embarrassment and they're like "JUST EAT YOUR WHORE BURGER YOU SLUT" and so now, I guess, I kinda have a boyfriend? Except not really because I don't even know his name?

The moral of this story is that sometimes it's okay to have a big mouth that blabbers on without your consent, because you might get free borger. But be prepared to be called a whore I guess.

[baronessbamf]

I really wanna,,,,spicccy chiken borger right now

[invaderofdoom]

for some reason the "#gir: wanna fortnite borger????" and generally the concept of GIR being aware of memes gave me the image of GIR flossing and I fucking despise it. I had to envision this and now so do you. Suffer with me as payment for tarnishing my brainmeats.

     “youuu WANNA DO THE FORTNITE DANCE WITH ME??? IT GO LIKE THIS!!!!” hes doing it hes FUCKING DOING IT OH MY GOD FUCKFIUNGE ND IT

[gamb0fficial]

Do all the even numbers!

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

My friends when I was saying goodnight to them! :D

04: Are you insecure?

Yeah.

06: How do you want to die?

Very quickly and with mercy.

08: Played any sports?

I did tennis for a bit in middle school!

10: When was your last physical fight?

N/A

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

I’m certain that I must have at some point lol

14: Do you miss someone?

Yeah rn at least

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

Apprehensive but excited!

18: Are you scared of spiders?

Yes.

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

N/A

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

Not. Sure

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

Math and English

26: What are you craving right now?

Borger

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

Nah

30: What’s irritating you right now?

Not having quite enough sleep...

32: What is your favourite color?

Navy blue!!!

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

Aliens? Of some sort?

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

I don’t really know. 

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

I think so maybe! I’m really hoping that it’ll be so far, at least. 

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

NO?

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

I think everything happens and makes its own reason?

54: Is cheating ever okay?

No.

56: How many people have you fist fought?

0!

58: Favourite weather?

Cloudy, around 65 Fahrenheit!

60: Do you wanna get married?

Eventually yeah!

62: What makes you happy?

Feeling validated, being around friends, playing games, being held/hugged, drawing, listening to music or shows, etc!!!

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Yeah

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

Yeah

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

A friend.

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

Very many people in fact!

[chiveburger]

I’m sorry but people that say jype did a good job in promoting everyday6 n are pondering why day6′s sales aren’t breaking records are clearly delusion. I mean, I know where day6 stands on being promoted n they specifically said they don’t want to be promoted like idols. I get that, I completely understand but their monthly releases, their concerts, their events, their however frequent activities were still very exclusive to my days....... despite that, they still managed to draw in crowds all around the world to support them but if I didn’t accidentally find their music on youtube I would have never known them. them not wanting to promoted in a certain way is COMPLETELY fine like I’d rather them stay true to their music n I don’t expect them to be @ the level of twice or any idol group but they’re still unbelievably underrated. my days know how deserving n talented these boys are n them constantly being put on stage to sing other people’s songs is not good promotion ???? the boys want to be recognized for their music n yet they flew over to hong kong to sing a got7 song lmao ???? does that make sense ??? I’m not digging shit up but I’m just saying that as loving n appreciating day6 is about their growing fanbase, they already should’ve been selling out hundreds of thousands of albums. sungjin has even mentioned that after their official debut he thought that they’d blow up, but when they didn’t he was like “oh...I guess I’d have to work harder” like sungjin? you’re the most hardworking villager up in this animal crossing town okay? stop doubting your inhuman talents hoe. part of me do enjoy knowing that the people who like them are truly in love with them... we don’t garner any kind of hate or fan wars because theres nothing to hate n day6 isn’t THAT big to pick up random trash fans. I like that n I think they like that too n as much as I love to see their sales exponentially growing n them literally working their way from the ground up it’s just so obvious that they’d be so fucking big by now if they were promoted better. you don’t even need to be raven having a vision to know....

[subserviiient]

📱 [ from any of the boys!! ]

five texts;

Shuichi//not sent:

[text]: saihara san, i’m gonna be real when you pet my head by accident i ascended bc i’m so touch starved and that’s real weak of me, probably but it’s also hilarious. i’m like a cat.

[text]: I bought some flour and sugar, so, i have all the stuff needed for cookies now- would you like to come over and bake together?

[text]: i’m kinda curious about your detective work. I know it’s not like the movies or anything but with all the lost pet cases you do: have you ever found a lost spider or scorpion? those things are tricky and scorpions are also little pricks. oh, pardon my language-

[text]: oh god, i regretti the spaghetti,,

[text]: would you propose to someone dressed as a killer whale? i need to prove a point against my brother.

Shuichi//sent:

[text]: Wanna go to McDonalds later? You’ve been looking a little pale and tired lately, so I think it’d be good for you to head off for something to eat.

Seiji//not sent:

[text]: i made some good ol’ cheese sticks. I’d say the type but i can’t spell it. It’s the pizza cheese. I’m so dumb- help; anywAY do you want some

[text]: boi not only would i die for you and kill for u but i would also make you a whole ass cake. though i suppose i’ve already done that. the cake part i mean, i’m not a serial killer…or a normal killer.

[text]: lmao my dog just jumped on me and i hit my head off the table and it made me remember you never met him, you wanna meet akinari?

[text]: god, you’re so good, so pure…

[text]: borger kong.

Seiji//sent:

[text]: i made some strawberry cupcakes, strawberry juice and i also have some left over strawberries from it, so, you want some of any of the above?

[tsuki-sennin]

Hey there, everybody! Happy Halloween~!

Of course, our Halloween special was last episode, so we have to resort to something very scary.

Oden. The story of a certain Don Momotaro and Sonoza of Ideon in that other Toei superhero team show I'm currently obsessed with features this Japanese culinary delight prominently. This food certainly brought smiles for them, but how will it fare in this adventure with our good friends in Oishi-Na Town? With baseball apparently!

Spoilers, I guess...

-Yuin, good morning!

-Ah... your grandma made a mean Oden, huh?

-Ah, so Matsaburo-san is... not your grandpa, gotcha.

-...still a GILF.

-Kosuke-kun.

-Ohhhhhh, I see.

-Come to think of it, I don't think Takumicchi was in the Halloween episode. That must've stung, forgot to invite the poor lad.

-C'mon, hit me with the deep oden lore!

-Mari-chan is... mostly at a loss for words!

-The secret flavor.

-Oh hey, Takumicchi's home!

-100 years of intense SHEF POWER!

-I wonder if

-GINGER

-Hot damn, do ALL the people who know Takumi and his dad have history with the CooKingdom? That boy is a magnet for culinary wizardry!

-Catboy confirmed

-Ah... I see.

-Ah, here we go, the conflict of the episode!

-Wanna play ball, but gotta become shef

-Takumicchi! My man!

-...does Yuin's jersey say 13 or 15? I think it's 15?

-Awww, fairy cheers :)

-How long do you reckon it took Amane to braid all that hair?

-Damn, everybody's here!

-I believe in you, Ranchi! Koko-neechan... well, she's definitely got the spirit, at least.

-Okay, I'm gonna be quite honest, I don't know an awful lot about Japanese baseball. I know that there're several bats in OFF named after famous players, and there was this one episode of Jimmy Neutron where Jimmy invented equipment that let him and his friends cheat their way to the major league only to get turbo curbstomped in the World Series when they decide to finally play fair because they never practiced a minute of it. It was a favorite of mine when I was a kid lol

-By the way Sheen, the Japanese word for "ambulance" is "Kyūkyūsha".

-Ahhhhhh, Takumicchi! Lad's got you pegged! Quick, deny it as vehemently as you can! You can't let this youngster know you think a girl is cute! What if spilling your secret releases the goblins who hide underground eating peeled grapes and peanut butter bacon banana sandwiches, waiting for the perfect chance to make fun of a teenage boy's feelings!?

-You may not realize it, but Black-Pep is an essential part of Yuin's PreCure Polycule. The PolyCure!

-I'd just like to clarify, I just find this whole thing extremely funny and don't really have any strong opinions on romantic relationships in this season. But, y'know, there might be a war involving Yui as the centerpiece in the shipping side of the fandom that is happening in the astral plane no mortal eye can see, I wouldn't know.

-YUI LJHKM.NJM

-Girl was like "Yep, but he DOES have a girlfriend in Canada I've never seen!"

-Ahhh, 15! I was right!

-Amane's got quite the arm.

-Going above and beyond for the sake of a gal, huh Kosuke-kun? Y'know, I notice that ladies tend to not recognize these

-Get doubled, Idiot.

-Yeah okay lad, you'd take that fastball right in the face for Yuin.

-Kome-Kome comin' to catch!

-Damn, her tail is strong!

-TAKUMICCHI NO YOU DON'T DO THAT

-...well, if Kosuke's impressed then I suppose that's okay then!

-Spiritoru... you seem so dead inside, buddy.

-That was fun!

-Bagaa time!

-Baseball, borger... I wonder what kinda American cartoons he watches?

-Mata-san...

-Miss all your friends, huh Grandpa?

-I didn't expect to feel.

-I was gonna go crazy go stupid over every possible parallel between Yuin and Tarou but now I'm just really invested in this story.

-Don't know what you've got until it's gone.

-Yeah, let's go!

-Getting lectured by Takumi, you have really fallen.

-Oh fuck, we're interrupting lunch at an oden stand.

-You don't fuck with the oden, Seccy! You have officially gone too far!

-Sally forth, companions! Our delicious party festival has begun!

-Wahahahaha! Matsuri da, matsuri da!

-Curve balls! Suppose it is fitting for the baseball theme of this episode.

-Damn, Spicy's real pinned down.

-Yum-Yum do a run

-Smooth moves, Don Precious.

-Sono-Pep!

-That Precious oden!

-Hot damn, Precious bounced back real quick! Omoishiroi!

-A transcendent victory for the ages!

-Ei! Ei! Oh!

-The bonds strengthened by oden have returned to their strength!

-Yeah well have you considered paying for oden like a normal person, Seccy?

-We did it! A bond has been preserved! And just as much, a new bond has been formed with Kosuke-kun!

-Oden get.

-Donbura ko, donbura ko DON DON

Yurari yurete

Mezasu wa donna Happy End?

-Y'know, I'm kinda surprised there's not a lot of crossover fics between Donbrothers and Delicious Party. It'd kinda write itself, huh?

-...though to be fair, the Donbrothers are absolute lunatics, I'd imagine it'd be difficult for any writer to leave Oishi-Na Town in one piece after and have it feel natural.

-...y'know what, that's a fantastic challenge. I might have some ideas.

-Next episode!

-AHHHH KOKONE'S MOVING

-Feelings to share now, huh?

-Don't worry folks, Kokone's probably gonna be staying here, but that's not what the episode's all about, right? It's about her relationship with her family, that'd be wonderfully interesting.

-Alright, Happy Halloween again! Later today, I'm going to be talking Don Don Donbrothers! Not entirely sure when, but it will be before nightfall.

-If you'll pardon me, I do believe it is time for me to make my lunch~!

[wiekannstduschokoladenichtlieben]

ok so I have a feeling I blew a friendship and I’m really sad about it. This friend is invited , by my sister, to our home for lunch next week. He weote to me he had to do something on that day. Honestly I just assumed he wouldn’t come, and I was kinda pissed because my sister doesn’t have many friends and never invites people over, and she’s veen planing this for weeks now, and people always treat her bad but she’s like the most genuine person ever. Anyways I assumed he wouldn’t come and just told him I would appreciate if he would inform her directly he wasn’t coming sonce she was the one organising it. Then he wrote he was still coming. So now I realized I blew it and I wrote him I assumed he wouldn’t come since he had told me he was also planing on visiting his parents that weekend, and I was sorry for that, and I was sorry my message was so dry. Now he hasn’t responded yet and honestI just wanna cry because he’s a really good friend and I feel like a blew it, I don’t think enough before I write when I am mad of something borgers me. I hope he will forgive me