#i wanna be sixteen forever but also not really

[gwensy]

hrhrhhfh

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.1

Cynthia and John are worse and crazier for admitting what they admitted in the bio. But Jane and Paul are not exempt.

Will forever love this pic of Paul and Julian. He does not look like the fun uncle. He looks tired and dependable. Just stepped out of the womb as a father, didn't he? The sperm that fertilized his egg probably passed some fatherly advice and hair tussles to the other sperm as it passed them. 

They should've bought the fucking island.

They never look more like a couple than when the women they're actually dating are right next to them. 

The India footage actually looks so beautiful. Obviously it's a beautiful place, but they all genuinely look so free and at peace there. It really could've been so good for them. Getting enlightened, getting soberish, growing closer as a band, taking a much-needed rest. It should've been good. 

The music choices in this documentary! The drastic shift from, “all you need is love” and “the dream I had was true” and “I don't need much to set me free.” to Paul leaving to “yes I'm lonely. Wanna die.” “I'm going insane.” “Look at me. Who am I supposed to be?” 8d8 psychic damage. And the thing is it's real. John really did flip a switch, just like that.

Smashing my head into a wall. It's the same as Yoko's quote about how ‘nobody hurt John more than Paul.’ Really Pete? Worse than after his mum died? Really Yoko? More than that drunk cop? Paul, what the fuck did you do to him in India, seriously, because at this point in the doc I can't accept the theory that it was just some lack of communication, I just can't. 

It's also telling to me that when John's losing it, everyone's solution is some time alone with Paul. Nobody panic. Paul can fix him. Little do they know Paul's the one that broke him. Or maybe they do know and that's only another reason they know Paul's the only man for the job?

Old-fashioned ad voice: You liked Protective Jesus Scandal Paul? You'll love Protective LSD Scandal John! Really. Before the question is even out, he's making fun of it. I think he cuts off the interviewer at least three times with jokes before he can get the sentence out, and by the time he is, Paul's giggling too hard to feel bad about his little PR fuck-up.

Then he lets Paul talk a bit before jumping back in, this time with his Hard Man suit on. It's just so good. A testament to their unconditional love, really. Because, clearly, Paul's just hurt John pretty bad. And yet, here John is. Using every trick he's got to defend his friend. 

But actually, though John is supposedly the one everyone's worried about, Paul's doing a pretty shit job of being the “stable” one. This entire press tour he's either fucking blazed and laughing at everything or disassociated and not contributing.

(((except during that political discussion – again! Paul secretly has actual thoughts on actual things?!)))

But for the most part, John's absolutely holding down the fort. I wonder if this is another case of everyone – all their friends and business associates, just like we as a fandom still do now – assuming John is the problem child, and Paul's the strong one, but actually they're both both. 

Back to the political interview. They're just so in sync. Finishing each other's sentences when you're talking about the weather or your shared work is one thing. Finishing each other's sentences on complex topics like why poor whites often vote bigots in or the cause of rampant misinformation is quite another. 

“Letting his dad cut his hair at sixteen, seventeen.” You all know that John hates Jim quote. 

John: so there's war, and vegetables. There's relativity and absolute.  Paul (absolutely smitten): that's great Johnny. Int: that's rather hard for people to interpret. John: well if they can't interpret it now, maybe they will later..... 1. John really was extremely intelligent. 2. That last statement sums up Beatles historiography.

Paul really just Won't be alone with John, will he? Well, two can play at that game, Paul, and John's going to win, let me tell you. 

But he's going to do one last panic grab for attention first.

I really do think if John had done something like that *before* Paul would've given him that attention. Told him he's being insane and taken him home to splash some cold water on him or something and then given him whatever softness Paul was capable of. But not anymore. 

I wonder if Paul could go back to 1966 if he just wouldn't have taken John to that Indica show where he met Yoko. If he would've just said “okay John, sure, let's just stay home and trip on the couch tonight.” I don't know.

Anyway, Yoko gets an A+ for persistence. Imagine being Paul, George, or Ringo, though, and John is suddenly madly in love with this woman whose been begging you all (and then him specifically) for a platform for over a year? It would be weird to say the least. 

John: don't you hate me? I'm crazy, you know. Paul: no I don't hate you. John: aren't you pissed at me now, Paul? Even a little bit? Paul: I'm very proud of you. It's the unstoppable force (“Don't ‘nore me, Mimi!”) vs the immovable object (“I learned to put a shell around me”.) Someone get them some professional help before they nuke the whole world. 

“There is, however, a desire to get power in order to use it for good.” One of those quotes that just really lets you see a person, you know? Benevolent dictator Paul. 

Yoko, why are you talking about how bad your boy doesn't want to fuck you right in front of all his closest friends and on record for posterity? If you have to be talking about your sex life, shouldn't you be lying about how insanely horny he is for you? Oh, right, she will think of that, just not yet. 

And then she waxes poetic about how turned on John is when he's working on music with Paul. Cool. Smart. Thanks for that, though, genuinely.

And Then (gosh, Yoko is such an asset to Beatles history when she's not actively spreading misinformation. Everyone give her a hand) she goes on about how Paul goes out of his way to make her feel respected and even valued. Compare that to John and Linda, anyone? And I want to be clear, I'm not saying this means John cares too much and Paul doesn't care at all, which might be the surface read. I just think John's reaction was to scream in everyone's face that he was in pain and Paul's was to insist ad nauseam that he was fine. You know?

[katebisxop]

agatha as a mom | a.h

warnings: my first shot at headcanons so it's kinda bad, use of literally two swear words, ft. rio and mentions of nicky, genderneutral reader

ꕥ — she would tell you all about your brother nicky 🥹

ꕥ — like maybe at first she'd be hesitant taking about him but somehow you find out stuff and she has to tell you

ꕥ — she will definitely teach you the ballad of the witches road

ꕥ — agatha would also try to teach you magic

ꕥ — (except this time she wouldnt have to kill witches with you i mean what)

ꕥ — while you're young she'd be so gentle and so protective because she really doesnt want you to end up like nicky

ꕥ — she'll be wary when you meet new people because she knows social interaction is crucial for development but she wishes it can just be you and her forever and ever

ꕥ — agatha would be kinda sad to see you grow up :(

ꕥ — like she misses your little shenanigans together and how active you were as a child

ꕥ — you're gonna enter your moody teenager phase and you're gonna be annoyed with her always wanting to have you in her sight

ꕥ — definitely some sassy banters because what child of agatha harkness doesnt know sarcasm?

ꕥ — senor scratchy is your best friend btw

ꕥ — the moment you start showing signs of having magical powers she's SO excited

ꕥ — immediately going to start teaching you spells and runes and whatnot

ꕥ — lowkey you're gonna be overwhelmed and have to ask her to slow down 😭

ꕥ — "you're gonna be so powerful my love i just know it"

ꕥ — obviously she's gonna have to tell her about her witchy past right...

ꕥ — DO NOT BIG NO NO TO THE DARKHOLD she's drilled that into you from day one

ꕥ — bonus: meeting rio

ꕥ — rio just pops up into the harkness abode offering pizza

ꕥ — she shows up while you're young

ꕥ — you'll be playing with your toys and then hear the doorbell ring but agatha is RUSHING to shout at whoever is in there to gtfo

ꕥ — you're a literal baby she is not letting rio get anywhere near you 😭😭

ꕥ — rio tried explaining that she just wanna see her wife's baby but there's a big NO from agatha

ꕥ — so rio tries again when you're like sixteen the stubborn bitch

ꕥ — let's say you're in your backyard and like. idk having a picnic by yourself

ꕥ — agatha is doing something indoors so youre alone which is kinda rare tbh

ꕥ — and then you just see some woman cross over your fence in this black flowy gown

ꕥ — you're starstruck because she's so beautiful but you're also alarmed because trespassing

ꕥ — before you can call out to agatha though she introduces herself as rio but seems to be unable to describe her relationship with agatha

ꕥ — so you're wary because she's kinda sketchy but genuinely seems to have no bad intentions

ꕥ — rio keeps a little bit away though

ꕥ — and then agatha comes out and sees you two talking and she's FURIOUS uh ohhh

ꕥ — she tells you to get inside and you can hear their arguing outside-

ꕥ — but they seem to sort it out because rio's allowed to talk to you now

ꕥ — just not often

ꕥ — not at night either

ꕥ — and DEFINITELY not out of agatha's sight

ꕥ — she does NOTT trust her after nicky 😭😭

ꕥ — also you're lowkey mad at agatha for not telling you about her lesbian situationship LMAOO

ꕥ — anyway yeah agatha as a person is questionable but agatha as a mom is 🤌

a/n: hope you enjoyed... i definitely did im SO making more headcanons

[pinkbelugacollective]

didnt wanna hijack someone's post with the Disk Horse, but I just wanna note that bernard being tim's love interest in 2023 is VERY different from him being a side-side-side character in the early 2000s. i think there's definitely a generational divide on how the relationship's perceived bc there's absolutely a difference between how bernard and tim's relationship is portrayed during their time in school versus in adulthood.

part of reading tim's coming out story in the 2020s with relation to bernard is finally acknowledging that we finally broke tim out of his amber glass. this is also, i will note, a SPECIFIC kind of coming-out-story that won't resonate with folks who weren't living through that specific era of homophobia where the fallout of the AIDS crisis overlapped with the rise of mass surveillance and that post-9/11 grimdark take on superheroes across ALL media. it was a weird fucking time. it also won't resonate with anyone who wasn't "growing up" with tim during his time as robin. now, do you HAVE to know every little thing about tim to accept this piece of character development? no, you don't, but you DO have to take into consideration that tim was locked in the time vault for a veryyy long time and a lot of things, including his on-and-off with stephanie, were part of the status quo for his character long before dc decided to pull the trigger with tim's bisexuality.

but what happens when the forever-sixteen isn't sixteen anymore? he grows up! he gets to reflect! he gets to try new things without being held back by the amber glass. time is the key factor here! if you look at tim and bernard's relationship through the eyes of the robin run of that era, of course it's gonna feel weird! that tim could only really take bernard in doses, bc that tim was as much of an asshole teen as bernard was. with the breaking-of-the-amber, we now learn that tim had to do some serious reflection to get to the point where he could say that this guy he used to know COULD be someone special. if you follow tim's story through the lens of a closeted queer raised in the era of when that robin run was being published, tim's just another queer guy who's finally come to terms with the fact that, that dude he went to high school with who he just ran into at the target might not be so bad after all. he's kinda cute, actually. did he think he was cute back in the tenth grade? probably not, but he's not in tenth grade anymore, now is he?

could DC comics have created an entirely new character to serve the narrative purpose of tim's coming out special? sure. then we woulda had ten years worth of criticism from fandom about how tim magically found a guy superhot and thus dumped stephanie over it, and we would circle back to the same argument about whether tim was a douchebag for dumping stephanie for some rando, and that his bisexuality is an asspull versus 'relevant character development'. either way, it would have upset the status quo. now, is that to say timsteph was never real? no! tim and stephanie talking about his erratic behavior and him coming out to her was to SPECIFICALLY address how him being bisexual isn't meant to downgrade their relationship, or that their love wasn't real. for anyone who's still whining about timsteph not being real anymore bc bernbear entered the chat, i've long stopped seeing it as legitimate criticism bc there are YEARS worth of content with them to indulge in. shitting on a coming-out story and a romance that hasn't even had five real-time years to be explored is just straight up crass and highlights much more insidious problems in the fandom aka the rampant homophobia, quick-to-anger behavior of fans who never learned media or litcrit, and motherfuckers who ride or die for status quo like it'll kill them to enjoy something tangential.

long story short, timbern real and so is timsteph, and one of these days, inshallah bartkon will be real too.

[onthewaytosomewhere]

Wednesday starts even if ya don't sleep

so once again a lil artsy thing that i still need to fiddle with some more cuz well it's a bit wonky (but might not be as noticeable when smaller lol) if i wanna use it for this lil fairytale's title banner and the last of the words you'll be getting from that lil fic b4 it posts yay!!!

so i'm stealing the open tag from @eusuntgratie and also thanks @jmagnabo92 for the early tag

The first time Prince Alex says it, in one of his letters, Prince Henry has to re-read what it says, afraid he has imagined it. There it is in print, though, at the end of his letter, for the first time ever: Love, Alex. When Prince Henry read those words, he – well, his fifteen-year-old mind- had already been in love with Alex for longer than he remembers not being. He continues to write as if nothing has changed, his mind working around in circles as to what those words really mean. The prince knows they are young, Alex a year younger than him even, but he contemplates over and over the possibility that what he feels at just fifteen years of age is love and that it might be returned. The words continue to be there at the bottom of every letter Alex sends, and Henry bides his time. He knows they are too young for anything to happen, but he knows he will have forever to get there. He has always felt a connection to Alex, and now he thinks he knows what that connection is and why he felt that pull towards him even when they were younger. It's on Prince Alex’s fifteenth birthday that it all comes to a head; Prince Henry, newly sixteen by just a couple of weeks, has been in his head all day, and his friend notices. Prince Alex drags him off to the Green Room in the palace in Claremont so they can be alone, without all the other people around. It’s a room that holds sentimental value to the boys as they spent many days in this room, playing any variation of games their young minds could make up. It’s the room they often run to when things become a little too much for one of them; their families know if they need to find them to look there.

so an open tag for anyone who may want it and well some no-pressure tags beneath the cut (i say some but it's early so there's like so many lol)

@adreamareads @agame-writes @agostobuwan @anincompletelist @bitbybitwrites

@dragonflylady77 @duchessdepolignaca03 @england-would-fall @firenati0n @firstsprinces

@forever-fixating @getmehighonmagic @heysweetheart-writes @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @inexplicablymine

@itsmaybitheway @jellibuns @junebugclaremontdiaz @kiwiana-writes @littlemisskittentoes

@lizzie-bennetdarcy @magicandarchery @mikibwrites @msmarvelouswinchester @nocoastposts

@piratefalls @priincebutt @sophie1973 @stellarm @suseagull04

@tailsbeth-writes @taste-thewaste @theprinceandagcd @thesleepyskipper @thinkof-england

@typicalopposite @wordsofhoneydew @yrsacdfox @cha-melodius @orchidscript

@oxfordslutphase @bigassbowlingballhead @captainjunglegym @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @cricketnationrise

[maria-scribbles]

meet me at midnight

summary: new year's eve, 1983. a rooftop, an epiphany, and a kiss that changes everything

wc: 5k

ship: eddie munson x f!henderson!reader

warnings: underage drinking, mentions of drugs and smoking, mention of barb's death (rip queen), stancy (eugh), kissing, the reader being jealous and insecure and also kinda stupid.

a/n: writing stancy made me physically ill. i really do love nancy but i'm afraid i wrote her terribly ooc in this ugh. also, do i headcannon eddie as a saxophone player? yes, yes i do. why? no fucking clue. robin's favorite band is named 'blush' after maya hawke's first album.

-

meet me at midnight

December 31st, 1983

"Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree?"

You were inclined to, that's for sure.

Annie Lennox's voice booms throughout the house as you tuck yourself further into the corner you've managed to claim, a lukewarm cup of punch in hand. It feels like the entire student body of Hawkins High is here at Tina's party, bodies jostling each other on the makeshift dance floor and spilling down the hallway like an overflowing sink, even trickling outside onto the deck to smoke despite the frosty air.

You shift your weight from one heeled boot to the other and choke down a sip of your drink, wincing at the alcohol burning its way down your throat. Leave it to some thickheaded jock to make a punch that's almost entirely rum, you think as you abandon the solo cup on the nearest shelf and pull your sweater sleeve down to check the time.

It's not nearly as late as you'd hoped, the glowing green numbers reading ten-thirty, and you drop your arm with a sigh. An hour and a half before midnight and an hour and a half way too long in your opinion.

"Having fun?" Nancy's face is flushed as she squeezes her way through the dancing crowd to you, dragging Steve by the hand.

Absolutely not.

"Oh, totally!" Your smile feels so forced you're sure she'll notice and call you out but it never comes, both to your relief and disappointment; once upon a time you'd been thick as thieves, the best of friends just like your little brother and hers, before she'd ditched you for Barb and left you behind in the dust.

Barb, whose body lies in another dimension, frozen forever at sixteen.

Yeah, you're still processing that last part and you were there, standing beside Dustin as Eleven confirmed Nancy's worst fear, heart breaking for your former best friend as she cried into Jonathan's arms.

(Later that night, when everything was said and done and you were safe in bed with your little brother sleeping soundly across the hall was when you cried for Barb, too, a girl who was kind and innocent and undeserving of her terrible fate.)

Your relationship's been on the mend ever since but as much as it hurts to admit, you'll never be as close as you once were and Nancy's inability -or unwillingness, you think bitterly- to pick up on your unhappiness is only further proof.

"Wanna come dance with us?" She asks, oblivious, and you shake your head, crossing your arms to keep her from grabbing your hand because as bored as you are, being a third wheel would be even worse. You already feel bad for crashing their date by tagging along for the drive here, even though they both insisted on giving you a ride.

"Trust me, that wouldn't be pretty. Dusty says I dance like a school chaperone."

Steve bursts out laughing at that and it makes your heart do a little flip in your chest, even as Nancy fondly shakes her head. "Come on, you're not that bad."

"Oh no, I am." You wrap your arms tighter around yourself as someone opens the front door and lets in a freezing blast of air. "Seriously, I'm good. I think I'm gonna go grab some snacks."

"Try the snickerdoodles! I ate, like ten of them." Steve admits that last part pretty sheepishly and the way Nancy stares up at him with the most adoring look in her eyes makes you feel like you're intruding on something private.

You offer an awkward smile in thanks and with a tiny wave from Nancy, they melt back into the mess of bodies dancing along to Cyndi Lauper, leaving you alone once again.

For no less than the fifth time tonight, you wish Robin was here, not halfway across the state visiting her grandparents. While you might've lost Nancy as your best friend in middle school, you gained another: Robin had also been dropped by Barb and so it was only fitting that the two of you became fast friends, not just acquaintances that sat beside each other in the band's trumpet section.

(You miss Nancy honestly, you really do, but sometimes you think being ditched was one of the best things that's ever happened. You and Robin just click, two peas in a pod, and to you, she feels like the sister you always wish Nancy would've been.)

If Robin was here, she would've already made some quip about Steve and his coiffed hair, or Carol and the permanent expression on her face that made her look like she smelled something bad, or Jason and his attempts to impress Chrissy with his awful dance moves, and it would've had you doubled over in laughter.

She wouldn't let you wallow in the corner by yourself, an outsider looking in, both unwilling and unable to throw caution to the wind and just let go. But she's not here, so wallowing it is.

Being kind to yourself has never been your strong suit.

As if the universe is listening, mocking, a gap in the crowd grows just enough to give you a perfect view of Steve and Nancy swaying in each other's arms and you hate the bitter taste that suddenly floods your mouth.

You have no right to be jealous.

You've never admitted your little crush on Steve to yourself, let alone Nancy: how was she supposed to know? You're not even sure if it's all about him in the first place because sure, you think he's cute -you always have- but you get the same gnawing feeling watching Bradley spin Tina around the room in a playful waltz or Nate stealing a kiss from Georgina under the mistletoe still hanging in the doorway and you can barely tolerate either of those idiots.

It's all so terribly confusing.

Steve twirls Nancy under his arm and then dips her low to the ground, her delighted laughter reaching your ears even over the pounding music and something ugly blooms in your chest. You make your escape before you can do something stupid like cry, weaving your way across the living room and down the hall toward the kitchen with your head down.

…Which is precisely how you end up head butting one of your classmates directly in the chest when you turn the corner.

They give a soft 'oof' of surprise and you're absolutely mortified when you realize it's a boy, not just from the tone of his voice but from the toes of his white Reeboks bumping into your boots.

The same shoes you've heard keeping time in band every day since seventh grade, tapping along to the beat on the riser behind you with the rest of the saxophone players. The same shoes you see at the desk in front of you in third period English, still tapping along to the music that's always running through his mind, accompanied by the furious scribbling of a pencil across paper as he jots down lyrics for a new song.

You wince and keep your head down, hoping he'll just act like nothing happened and go on his merry way and just when you're about to think you're in the clear-

"Ow. You have a hard head, Henderson."

Shit, you think. Of course you had to literally run into the one person you feel like you can't speak two words to without making a complete fool of yourself; something about Eddie just makes you flustered beyond belief and you really wish you knew why 'cause it's, to put it frankly, annoying.

Really fucking annoying.

"Shit." You say out loud, quickly looking up to meet his big brown eyes before glancing away and staring at the zombie adorning the front of his Iron Maiden shirt instead. "Sorry, wasn't paying attention."

"No shit, Sherlock." He teases but there's no trace of malice in his voice, just amusement, even as his ringed hand comes into view and rubs the spot where your forehead crashed into his chest. "You okay?"

Embarrassment burns your face and you cross your arms defensively, firing back with a weak insult you're sure he can see right through 'cause if there's one thing you're good at, it's looking like an idiot all day, every day.

"I'm fine. You're not looking very festive, Munson."

He snorts in laughter and you finally gather the courage to meet his eyes again, only to find him already looking down at you with something behind his gaze that you can't quite figure out.

"I think you're festive enough for the both of us." He gestures to your deep navy sweater dotted with bursts of silver thread that give the illusion of stars. "You look really pretty, by the way."

Your brain short circuits.

Pretty? You're wearing your mom's sweater and Eddie thinks you look pretty?

You're too busy trying to get your mouth to work as the silence stretches on -you'll take a 'huh?' at this point, or maybe even an unintelligible squeak, just say something, you moron- to notice the pink blooming high in his cheeks and the way he speaks in a rush, the words all jumbling together so fast it's hard for your frazzled mind to understand what he's saying.

"-your help, so keep watch, okay?"

Keep watch?

He turns and strides into the kitchen without another word and you end up following a few seconds later, after you've finally recovered enough to get your legs working, at least.

You find him standing by the big bowl of punch, rummaging around the array of bottles littering the island, every so often picking one up to inspect before putting it back in its place with a shake of his head. To your surprise, it's not more alcohol he finally picks up but a two-liter of Sprite and at last you get your mouth to work as you blurt out, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Fixing this shitty ass punch." He's not even phased by your sudden question, save for the quick smile he sends your way as he pours the entire bottle in. "Have you tried it? Jesus, Jan would be disgusted."

You cross your arms and lean your hip against the counter, keeping an eye on the door just like he'd asked. "I have, unfortunately. Who's Jan?"

"Bartender at the Hideout." Eddie throws a reply over his shoulder as he digs around in the fridge, yelling triumphantly when he finds whatever he's looking for. It turns out to be a can of pineapple juice and he dumps that in, too, turning the blue punch a pretty shade of green. "My band plays there on-"

"-Tuesdays, I know." You interrupt without thinking and rush to explain yourself, almost tripping over your words when he turns his curious gaze on you.

"Um, there's this all-girl band Robin loves, Blush. We go see them sometimes and end up staying to watch you guys, too, because you're really good-" You pause at the smile slowly growing wider on his face and shake your head. "-but you already knew that, didn't you?"

He shrugs, still grinning like the Cheshire Cat as he stirs some cherries into the punch, then dishes out two cups and pushes one across the island to you.

"Yeah, I see you there a lot. You're kind of hard to miss when the rest of the audience is just five old drunk dudes."

Your laugh rings in the cavernous kitchen as you push off the counter to grab your drink, tapping it against his when he holds it out toward you.

"Cheers."

You're not sure what to expect when you take that tentative first sip but it's definitely not something sweet and smooth with just the right amount of fizz, the burn of the rum still present but not as overpowering as it was before.

"Okay, so I don't know how you managed to make this shit taste good but you did."

Eddie sweeps into a low bow and you hide a smile behind your cup at his theatrics. "Thank you, thank you. I do accept tips, you know, and all proceeds go directly to Jan so she can buy herself a car."

You smile wider and take another sip. "I'd love to donate but I left my purse at home, I'm afraid."

He clicks his tongue in mock disappointment before leaning forward across the island and waving you closer, dropping his voice to such a low whisper you would've had to move in anyway to even hear him.

"How about I make you a deal, Henderson? Come watch us next Tuesday, slip Jan a twenty, and I'll play a song -any song- just for you."

"Ooh, tempting." You whisper back just as quietly, tapping a finger against your chin even as a weird feeling takes hold in your stomach at his offer. "Any song I want? How about-"

"Hold on, I take that back. Any song but 'September.'"

Your jaw drops. "How'd you know-"

"Because I hear you humming it every day in band, that's how."

"Oh." How the hell does he know you hum that song when half the time you don't even realize you're doing it? You've annoyed Dustin enough to know it's true, after he told you in no uncertain words. "How about I make you a deal? I give Jan thirty dollars and Corroded Coffin covers Earth, Wind & Fire."

He stares at you for a beat longer before slowly breaking out into a smile. "…I'll think about it."

You've always know he has a pretty smile, catching glimpses of it across the cafeteria from where you sat with Robin and the rest of the marching band or in crowded hallways as you rushed to make it to your locker in between classes, but having its full force directed right at you knocks the very breath right out of your lungs.

"it's not a no, so…works for me." You say, propping your chin in one hand and swirling your cup in the other, watching the opaque green liquid spin around like the center of a hurricane. "Why'd you have me guard the door, anyway? I wouldn't call making this sludge drinkable very deviant of you."

"Please," Eddie scoffs, mirroring you exactly. "'Resident metalhead spotted adding mixers to the jungle juice?' I can't trash my reputation like that."

"No, never." You huff a laugh under your breath. "You'd be ruined."

He laughs, too, and you're not sure when it became so warm in here but it's making you want to roll your sweater sleeves up to your elbows.

"See! I knew you'd have my back, Henderson."

The more you think about it, the more you realize you always have. Every time the rumor mill paints him in a bad light, you're there to put it all to rest with nothing more than a perfectly directed scowl because you like Dio, too and wear black nail polish and occasionally play DnD with Dustin and his friends when they need a sub and no one's ever accused you of worshiping Satan for fuck's sake.

If any of them would bother to look deeper than the surface, they'll see what you do, that he's kind and sweet and caring and you know because you've seen him prove it with your own eyes: driving the rest of the Hellfire Club home if they didn't have rides, sticking up for the freshmen when the seniors decide to be cruel, and even now, witnessing him first hand try to raise money for a coworker to buy a car (granted that method might be called borderline manipulation but still, at least it's for a good cause).

"'Course I do." It's both too simple a statement and more than you ever wanted to admit and the way he's staring at you feels different, somehow, different and yet not unwelcome as you stare right back…

(Has he always had that dusting of freckles across his nose?)

…which is why you end up putting your foot in your mouth without even realizing it. "That's what friends are for, right?"

"Right, yeah."

Something flickers behind his brown eyes but it's gone before you can put your finger on it and he's smiling that smile again, pointed canines on full display as he hastily nods and straightens, downing the rest of his drink in one go.

"Do you have the time?" He sheepishly holds up his bare wrist. "Forgot my watch."

"Oh, sure." The sudden change of subject nearly gives you whiplash as you push your sleeve up to check. "Almost eleven fifteen."

"No time to lose, let's go." He grabs a napkin and swipes a few cookies from the counter, tucking them away into the pocket of his leather jacket.

"Go where?"

"You'll see." Eddie nods his head toward the doorway and holds out a hand, silver rings catching the harsh kitchen lights. "C'mon, you trust me?"

"Against my better judgement." You tease and his laugh is downright devilish when you take his hand anyway, letting him lead you out into the hall.

You're not prepared for the warmth of his palm or the rough, calloused touch of his fingers or how your hand looks so small in his as he expertly weaves through your classmates milling about until you reach the bottom of the stairs, pausing just long enough to make sure the coast is clear before dashing up to the second floor.

"Are we even allowed up here?" You whisper and while the little conspiratorial grin on his face doesn't do much to ease your mind, the quick squeeze he gives your hand somehow does.

"Nope!" He leads you down the dark hallway with practiced ease, opening the last door on the left before pulling you inside and softly shutting it behind you both.

"I feel like a delinquent." Your quiet voice echoes in the large room, clearly Tina's from the Hawkins High cheer uniform hanging on the closet door and the over abundance of pink, and he snickers as he drops your hand to grab a blanket draped over the desk chair.

"Live a little, Henderson!" He opens another door, this one leading out onto a moonlit balcony -Jesus, you knew Tina's family was rich but come on- and holds it for you as you step outside. It's just beginning to snow, specks of white drifting down silently and forming a barely there dusting on the railing and you hold out your hand to catch one, watching as the tiny flake instantly disappears from the heat of your palm.

"C'mon, I'll give you a boost." Eddie says, tossing the blanket up onto the section of roof that's just a bit lower than the others.

"Don't tell me you shoot webs from your wrists." You joke, warily eyeing the spot even as you step forward and stand in front of him, grabbing the edge with both hands.

"Nah, I couldn't handle the responsibility of being Spider-Man." He moves closer and hovers his hands over your sides. "Still trust me?"

You nod.

"Can I touch you?" His voice is a low whisper in your ear and when a shiver runs down your spine, you blame it on the sudden gust of wind, nothing more.

You nod again.

His hands are big and oh so warm as he places them on your waist and before you know it, you're lifted onto the roof without so much as a warning, the rough shingles cold against your knees even through the thick denim of your jeans.

Holy shit, he's strong.

You don't even get the chance to offer your hand as he pulls himself up with an almost casual grace and spreads the blanket out, each step he takes so confident and sure, like he's done it time and time again.

"So, you sure know your way around Tina Williamson's roof." You carefully crawl closer and take a seat beside him, close enough that the length of your body is pressed right up against his to ward off the cold.

To be fair, you're also the slightest bit terrified of somehow falling right off the edge and it's like he reads your mind when he shuffles even closer and rests his arm along the curve of your back, not quite touching but near enough that you just know he'll catch you.

"Found out I could climb up here two years ago and-" He explains, pointing off somewhere beyond the back yard in the vague direction of town. "-it's got a killer view of the fireworks."

"It's peaceful." The sounds of the festivities have faded to nothing more than a faint thumping of bass and the occasional burst of laughter floating up from the smokers on the back deck. "So for the last two years, every party Tina's thrown, you've just been hiding up here?"

"More like escaping." Eddie shrugs and stares ahead at the snow-covered trees. "I don't even want to come to these things and I'm only invited 'cause I deal. Once these rich kids get their stuff and I get paid…no one really cares where I go so I just do what I want."

You care.

"All by yourself?"

He nudges you with his shoulder and when you turn to face him, that same look from earlier is behind his eyes, the one from the hallway and the kitchen that you still can't quite figure out. "You're the only person I've ever brought up here."

"Really?"

It's cold, the snow starting to fall a little bit heaver now, and yet you're so, so warm under his gaze as he nods, the corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly in the softest smile you've ever seen from him.

It's like hot chocolate on a snowy day or a cozy blanket on a cold night, safe and warm and feeling more than a little like home.

"I'm trusting you with this, Henderson. Don't abuse your power."

You smile and duck your head, pulling your sweater sleeves down further over your cold fingers. "Wouldn't dream of it, Munson."

You'd nearly forgotten all about the cookies hidden in his jacket pocket until he nudges your arm and hands you two, one of his own hanging out of his mouth and you realize they're the snickerdoodles Steve had told you to try.

For the first time, the thought of him doesn't make your stomach twist or your chest hurt. Honestly? You don't really feel anything in particular, other than the fact that he has damn good taste in desserts as you take a bite of your cookie, perfectly baked and covered in just the right amount of cinnamon and sugar.

No wonder he ate ten of them.

You finish eating in silence but you don't feel the need to fill it with anything other than the sound of your breathing; Eddie doesn't either and for who knows how long you sit side by side, watching tiny snowflakes lazily fall from the sky. They dot his dark hair with spots of white and a laugh slips from your mouth before you can stop it.

"What?" He turns your way and you just shake your head as you reach over and brush some flakes from the ends of his curls.

"The snow in your hair, it kinda looks like powdered sugar."

"Oh, so you think I'm sweet?" He waggles his eyebrows and you laugh so hard you have to lean on his shoulder to keep from falling over. The arm he has resting behind you's now fully pressed against your back and it feels like a live wire running along your spine.

"I never said that!"

"But you implied it." Your breath catches as he gently brushes some snow from your hair as well, the warm, calloused pads of his fingers glancing along your face. "And good thing 'cause I think you're sweet, too."

You suddenly get the feeling you've missed something very very important as you scoot away just far enough to turn and face Eddie fully. Down below, your classmates flood out onto the back deck to wait for the fireworks as the new year approaches but you could care less, all of your focus right in front of you on big brown eyes and tiny freckles and a beautifully devastating smile.

"Me?" You speak quietly into the cold air, the question forming swirling white wisps that float above your heads for a fleeting second before disappearing into the night.

You could elaborate but you don't have to because you know he knows exactly what you mean as his hand hovers in the air between you for a long moment before he finally reaches forward and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

"I thought I was being obvious." He says, a red hue coloring his cheeks that you know now is definitely not from the cold.

"Why?"

"Why did I think I was being obvious? Henderson, I'm gonna play Earth, Wind & Fire for you!"

"No, why do you…why me?"

It makes him pause, a gentle furrow to his brow, and the way he says your name so softly makes your heart skip a beat.

"Because you're you."

A minute to midnight is a pretty fucking weird time to have an epiphany but you've never had good timing.

"Oh."

It's like something just clicks, the last piece of the puzzle you didn't even know you were trying to solve slotting into place and it all makes such perfect sense you're not sure how you didn't see it before.

"I know you're into Harrington," Eddie says hastily, eyes darting away from yours for just a second before they come right back, wide and honest in the dark. "And I get it if you never want to speak to me again 'cause I just made things super weird but-"

"I'm not into Steve."

You don't know how he makes confusion look so cute but he does, eyebrows knit together and making a little wrinkle in his forehead that's just visible under his bangs. "You're not?"

"I thought I was but…" You trail off as more and more people flood outside, their voices loud and full of excitement as the countdown begins. "Turns out I'm falling for someone else and I finally figured out who."

"Ten, nine, eight."

You scoot closer, sitting on your knees so your face is level with his when you reach out to brush some more snow from his hair, letting your fingers graze over his cheek like the ghost of a kiss. "Sorry it took me so long to catch up."

"Seven, six, five."

"Oh. It's okay." He sputters, a brilliant red flush slowly crawling up his neck like ivy. "I mean, I've liked you for a while now, ever since you joined the band when I was in eighth grade-"

"Four."

"-and you sat in front of me with your trumpet, wearing a Judas Priest shirt and I-"

"Eddie?" You interrupt because as much as you want to hear the rest of his story, you've got a more important thing on your mind.

"Three."

"Yeah?"

"Two."

"Please stop talking."

His jaw snaps shut almost comically and he watches with those wide eyes of his as you slowly cup his face in your hands.

"One."

The clock strikes midnight. The first firework shoots off from downtown and explodes in a brilliant flash of shimmering gold in the inky black sky. And you lean forward and kiss Eddie Munson.

The fireworks overhead are nothing compared to the ones you feel when he responds to your kiss with one of his own, his lips soft and sure under yours as he wraps an arm around your waist to pull you closer.

He tastes like cinnamon sugar, spicy and sweet, and you can't get enough of him, of his warmth and his fingers sliding into your hair and the noise he makes low in his throat when you part your lips under his.

Kissing him is addicting, intoxicating. It's all you've ever wanted.

He's all you ever wanted.

You were just too blind to see it.

He's all you can see now when you finally part, all swollen lips and flushed cheeks and a smile that would've taken your breath if you had any left to give. The fireworks are long over but you don't even care that you missed the whole show as you lean forward to press your forehead against his.

"So, eighth grade, huh?" You ask and Eddie nods, rolling a strand of your hair between his thumb and pointer finger.

"You were humming 'Highway to Hell' and had holes in your jeans. And when I heard you talking about learning to play DnD for your little brother? That was it for me."

"I was nervous when I first joined band 'cause I had trouble staying on beat. I was so scared they were gonna kick me out." You say and when a snowflake lands on his cheek, you wipe it away with your thumb. "But I heard you tapping your foot behind me and you helped me keep time. Without you, I don't even know if I'd still be playing."

He tucks your hair behind your ear before taking your cold hands in his and bringing them to his mouth to kiss your knuckles, his touch so soft and sweet it makes your head spin.

"Your hands are freezing."

"I don't want to go home yet."

You could stay like this forever with him and when he leans forward to press his lips to yours, you know he feels the same.

"Where to then?"

He's never looked more beautiful to you, his pretty brown eyes blown wide and full of affection and reflecting the shimmer of the stars overhead and a slow smile creeps onto your lips when you weave your fingers between his.

"Surprise me. I'm all yours."

An adorable pink blush sweeps across his nose as he pulls you in for another kiss and you know without a doubt you're speaking the truth.

You know you mean every word.

[humblequestvinyl]

halloween

HALLOWEEN, FISHER!BROTHERS X SISTER!READER

APART OF THE ‘WE’LL ALL BE HERE FOREVER SERIES’ 

SUMMARY: when it’s susannah fishers favorite holiday, the youngest fisher tries to honor her mother, but it’s impossible when she feels haunted by it.

inspired by halloween by noah kahan

◀ ⏸ ▶

lowercase intentional! wc: 1.7k

warnings: implied/written in age (because it is the youngest fisher) HEAVY drinking, fem love interest! a breakdown, mentions of death, swearing

a/n: HELLOOO this is connecting to the view between villages blurb, so if you haven’t read that pls do! if you don’t no worries either!! loving this series so far omgomgomg also this desc isnt great (sorry) & BACK TO DECEMBER TV IN THE TRAILER IM LOSING IT.

IT WAS LESS THAN A WEEK LATER WHEN SUSANNAH’S FAVORITE HOLIDAY CAME,

and it would be the first year the fisher siblings wouldn’t be able to spend it with her.

it was late in the afternoon as y/n sat down on the beach, sipping on the only beer conrad had picked up the entire time they had been in cousin’s, waiting for her brothers to come back from the store.

it had been over an hour since they had left, and throughout that entire time, Y/N had stayed in the same place, drifting off to a place she always feared. she had seen it happen to other people, and always heard about it but had never experienced it herself.

the girl broke out of her thoughts as she heard footsteps heading towards her, and her head snapped behind her, seeing conrad walking towards her with a beer in his hand.

“is that for me?”she questioned as he sat next to her, and he chuckled before shaking his head and taking a sip of it. “you’re not even supposed to be drinking that.”

“maybe don’t leave beer where the sixteen year old can get it.”y/n shrugged, before the two sat silently, with an understanding that’s how it had to be right now to even try and get through the girl.

conrad and y/n always understood each other. maybe it was because they both had aquarius sun’s, or it was conrad knew how y/n felt when she quit volleyball just because of their father. ruining the one thing she truly loved the most besides her mom and cousins beach.

the two watched as the waves crashed against the sand, and fizzled out, representing the feeling the two felt.

y/n always joked that when they were talking about what taylor swift songs represented them, he was the archer, and she was the one who was trying, while jeremiah a mirrorball.

the three fisher siblings; the one who never grew up, the one who got wasted like all of her potential, and the one who when they break, it's in a million pieces.

“what do you think belly, laurel and steven are doing right now?”y/n asked quietly after a while, and conrad chuckled, taking another sip of his beer before the two heard a voice behind them.

“laurel’s probably writing while belly’s with taylor, and steven i know for a fact is with their dad.”jeremiah spoke up, and y/n watched as he sat next to her, sipping a can of coke the fisher boys had picked up at the store.

“what are our plans for tonight?”jer questioned, and y/n looked back towards the water, with emptiness filling her.

“there’s a party going on down the shore at michael’s.”y/n spoke up, and she saw the look both of her brothers were giving her, knowing where she was talking about was some weird guy who was only popular because his parents had money.

“after last summer you still wanna go there?”conrad questioned, and y/n shrugged, not really caring as long as there was alcohol, “i’m going either way.”

the two fisher brothers watched as she stood up, and walked back towards the house with an empty bottle of beer in her hand, and more grief than anyone could have imagined.

“we’re both in agreement she’s not going to that party right?”jeremiah questioned, watching as conrad took a sip of his beer, before doing a quick nod.

“absolutely.”

—

SOMEHOW WITHOUT HER BROTHERS KNOWING, Y/N ENDED UP AT THE PARTY.

with a red solo cup in her hand, and shitty synth-pop music blaring through the speakers that were in the living room, the h/c felt like she had succeeded in her mission of escaping her brothers.

she was sick and tired of their worried looks, and them wanting her to be okay when in reality nothing was okay. it was in absolute shambles, and scattered everywhere in little shards, almost like a mirrorball.

memories that once glimmered and brought the girl so much joy, now stabbed her and opened up a new wound everytime she thought about it.

like dress shopping for the deb ball.

this year was supposed to be her year to do it. this was the year she was supposed to pick out her white dress, learn how to courtesy, how to have the proper manners, and to be escorted out and to dance with whoever she chose. as her mother always said, it was her turn to be ‘in bloom’.

instead, she felt like she was shriveled up and dead. she felt like those flowers that you had left out in the sun for too long, never gave any water to, and when you finally remembered that you had them, they were depressing looking, with the petals falling apart.

taking a sip of whatever alcohol she had in her cup, her nose scrunched as it burned going down, knowing this was a constant cycle of today. y/n didn’t know how many she had already, and she didn’t really care as long as it ended with her being passed out drunk later that night.

she had been there for almost two hours, and the room was already spinning on her. stumbling towards the kitchen, the girl finished her drink before going to pour another before blue eyes met hers, and she stopped.

“how many have you had already?”the girl in front of her questioned, and y/n placed the bottle of vodka down on the counter, and pursed her lips as she stayed silent for a few moments.

“who cares emerson.”y/n finally spoke up, watching as the girl in front of her pulled her brunette hair back into a low ponytail, just like she always did.

emerson scott. the girl from last summer y/n had spent as much time as she could with, when both girls weren’t working or at the beach. the girl who had shown up for her when others didn’t.

the girl she loved the most.

“well, obviously me.”emerson pulled the red solo cup away from the girl, and leaned on the counter, “i don’t want you to get alcohol poisoning.”

“yeah well i do.”y/n stated as emerson handed her a bottle of water to try and lessen the girls hangover, “at this point, i’d love it.”

“well too bad.”emerson told her, and y/n rolled her eyes, not really giving a shit on what the girl in front of her thought.

“will you let me take you home?”the brunette questioned, causing y/n to glare at the sixteen year old, not wanting to leave and go back to the beach house she was convinced was haunted.

“absolutely not.”y/n denied, before starting to walk away, but emerson was right by her side, “emerson i’m serious.”

“i know you are n/n.”emerson told the youngest fisher as she walked through the house to get towards the exit, and started to walk out, “if you’re going to leave can you at least let me get you ice cream or something?”

“why!”y/n threw her arms up in frustration, wanting nothing more than to be left alone and down her sorrows, “i’m not going home and i’m sure as hell not in the mood for you to say we’re not going back to my house and then we end up fucking there!”

“y/n,”emerson gently grabbed ahold of the girls hand, trying to make sure she didn’t stumble into the street in her drunken state, “i’m being serious. if you don’t want to go back we won’t. i wouldn’t lie about that.”

“everyone fucking says that!”the h/c cursed, as her bottom lip quivered, “first it was conrad who told me last summer that everything was fine, and dad just had to go on a trip on the fourth when in reality my parents were getting a divorce because my dad is a piece of shit!”

“next it was my dad who claims he’s not disappointed in me for quitting volleyball when every time he looks at me it’s filled with disappointment and makes me feel like a failure!”she yelled, ripping her hand away from emerson, as she continued on her rant, “finally it was mom who said that her cancer wasn’t back, but guess-fucking-what! she lied because now she’s six feet under in some cemetery in brighton!”

“i’m sick and tired of being lied to because everytime someone lies to me, it ends up going to shit!”she screamed, before a sob escaped her lips, and emerson wrapped the girl in a tight hug.

“i can’t do it anymore emmy.”the girl cried, clutching onto the brunette tightly, “i can’t continue being fucking lied to.”

it was awhile before the e/c girl sobs turned into cries, and those cries turned into whimpers, and emerson was able to get the girl into her car, with taylor swift playing softly in the background.

my tears ricochet started to play, and y/n looked out the window as emerson had started to drive away to god knows where, but y/n didn’t care. she watched as they exited out of cousin’s, and towards the city y/n adored so much.

boston.

the remaining fisher girl watched as a murder of crows flew over the skyline of boston as they entered it, and the city of boston reminded y/n of a ghost town. 

as they entered the city, presumably to just drive around and get the girl away from cousins, her eyes started to become heavy, and she slowly fell asleep as the sound of taylor swift’s voice reminded her of a soft lullaby.

emerson looked over at the girl, seeing her finally be relaxed since her mom had passed, and a small frown was placed on the blue eyed girl’s lips.

it wasn’t halloween, but the ghost of susannah fisher knew how to haunt y/n.

[megamagimugi]

Well, my dear Mugi! I hope you're ready because I'm about to send you my list of emojis... and it's not gonna be short either 🤭💖

🫀🌻🍄🪻🧠🕹️💿♟️🥊 (with and for you!) 🍁🕰️ (always platonically like the heart says) 🍬💧🌑 (I'm always here even if I take too long to answer, but I'm always willing to listen) 🐚 (of course I was gonna give it to you too!) and last but not least...

🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

Based on this ask game.

Let's see, 1, 2, 3... 16?! You broke my record and sent as many as SIXTEEN (No, sending the same emoji 88 times doesn't count, you cheater!). You really just had to one-up me, huh? Okay, I see how it is. Congrats, you won!

Jokes aside, I'm really touched, Zahra. I don't even know how to properly react to something like this. For starters, thank you!!

Boy, oh boy. So many emojis, so many feelings. Maybe I'll just comment directly on each one.

Let's see whatcha got there:

🫀- I love you in a deeply concerning platonic way <- Thank you for loving me. Love you too! Somehow you make saying these words easier than normal, even though I'm still not exactly used to saying them.

🌻- I'm proud of you <- I don't understand why, but thanks😃

🍄- you didn't deserve what happened to you <- ...Yeah, I know, or at least hope so😔 Thanks, friend.

🪻- you are so so cool and awesome oh my god <- Oh yeah😎 Haha, thank you, and so are you!

🧠 - I love hearing you talk. you should ramble to me more often <- That's a relief, because I wanna keep talking to you! But also...

I mean, private ramblings aside, your fics and headcanons are always a pleasure to read. Not to mention your lovely reblogs of my art, especially those where you dig deeper and analyze what I try to portray🥹 I love them all dearly and have, in fact, reread each one a few times.

🕹️- I wanna go to an arcade with you <- Glad you share my excitement about this, let's-a go! How about some Mario Kart, for example?

💿 - I wanna listen to music with you in a treehouse in a summer night <- Pack your suitcase, we're going over to @vulpixfairy1985's place, build a treehouse if she doesn't have one already, and doing just that for hours on end.

♟️- you, me, board games. <- You're on. Also a good treehouse activity, eh?

🥊- I'd beat someone up with you <- Then I already have one deserving candidate in mind😏 But for me? No need, my friend, but I sure appreciate your willingness to do so!

🍁 - I'm so glad you're my friend <- Aww... So am I, times 10.

🕰️- I'll love you until the end of time, dear friend. <- Oh... That's a nice sentiment, dear friend, and I appreciate the thought. But after everything I've been through and learned about people, I know better than to promise anyone forever, or take someone's word for it. If you love me like a close friend right now, then that has to be enough❤️ Oh, and don't worry, of course I know it's all strictly platonic, this entire ask game is! And I wouldn't have it any other way😉

🍬 - I'd go to a candy store with you and steal all the candy <- Mmm, candy... But why steal tho?😥 You know what, I'll just suggest the same thing I did to @bberetd. We can go at night, have fun staging it as a raid and take all the candy, but secretly leave the money for the owner to find next morning. We can even draw them a map so they can have fun treasure hunting, too😜

💧- you are an important presence in my life <- Got to keep this one in mind, thanks. And you're in mine!

🌑 - you worry me sometimes. just remember im here if you ever wanna talk about anything <3 <- Sorry for worrying you. I'm so grateful for your support, kindness and compassion though, you have no idea🫂

🐚 - our souls are linked in ways I can't put to words <- If even you, such a talented writer, can't put it to words, then there ain't no way I can🤣 No, but seriously, I'm honored and touched knowing you feel the same way. Makes me about 30% less embarrassed.

🫂 - I wanna hug you <- Same. Very much. Like actually, physically hug you. But since we can't do that, the gifs will have to suffice:

...Okay, I don't think I can add 88 gifs, but hope these are acceptable 😄

[maccreadysbaby]

A Hundred Ways to Become a Wayne

batfamily + oc insert

tw: mentions of death/su**ide

wanna read more? here’s the table of contents!

want to read the first fic in the hundred days series so you understand what’s going on here? here it is!

this took forever but i’m getting back in the groove! I got a little ahead of myself so I had to restart my whole timeline so it made sense. also yes asten is really determined to do this, you’ll learn why later

part sixteen

❝ WITHOUT A TRACE ❞

SATURDAY — AUGUST 8 — 10:04PM

SURPRISINGLY TO NO ONE, SLEEP WAS AVOIDED LIKE THE BLACK PLAGUE THAT NIGHT. Bentley, Nico, and Asten took to conversing quietly instead, all spread out on various parts of Bentley’s king sized bed. Nico was laying on his back across the foot of the mattress, bickering with Asten a little, but staring at the ceiling, mostly. He’d been jumping at shadows and flinching at the faintest of sounds for hours now. Bentley wasn’t even sure he’d seen him smile since they got to the Manor. Asten was posted up near the left edge of the bed, scouring the internet on Tim’s old laptop with a big bag of chips Jason had insisted they take up with them. He, as opposed to Nico, was taking their terrible circumstances in his stride, acting completely normal. Bentley was against the headboard, fiddling with his phone, trying his best not to be awkward.

Before they’d come up to Bentley’s bedroom, they’d been cooped up in the den, watching random movies on a quiet volume with Dick and Jason for company. It was the first time Bentley had seen Dick out of the hospital bed. Outwardly, he was just Dick Grayson. Charming, outgoing, fun-loving and even able to put Bentley’s jittery friends at ease; but Bentley could see the glimmer in his eyes that was dimmer than usual, the brief moments that he took to breathe and gather himself before he put the never-ending smile back on.

Jason had to have been seeing it, too. He was off to the side reading a book, but Bentley saw him react to things ever so slightly, like his finger twitching the slightest bit when Dick would shift uncomfortably, or the way his eyes flicked up for a split second when Asten’s Crime Alley drawl made a unmistakable appearance. 

After they successfully spent nine solid hours in the den, and skipped lunch, Dick practically begged them to eat something. (Bentley realized just then that he and Asten hadn’t eaten at all that day.) Dinner was quiet.

Bruce had let them know Damian had gone to a friend’s house — a family called the Kents — and Bentley was ninety-nine percent sure it was because of him, Asten, and Nico. Why else would Damian spontaneously up and leave? Duke was working on a school project at a classmate’s, Steph was swamped with college, Babs was staying late at the library, Tim was working over (which really meant he was in the cave.), and Cass was�� well… doing whatever Cass did. (No one could really keep tabs on her, could they?) Bentley assumed it had to do with her upcoming dance recital next week.

Bentley didn’t mind. The meal was quick and quiet, and Alfred made some really good pasta stuff, that was so good Asten got a second helping. (Which Bentley considered really good, because he was Brazilian and Brazilians were very good cooks.)

And that pretty much led to now, ten at night, sitting in Bentley’s  bedroom that was pitch silent apart from Asten’s occasional crunching.

Bentley had exhausted all the games on his phone throughout the day, so now he was just kind of playing with his phone case. Nico’s phone kept going off repeatedly. (Bruce had called his parents to let them know what was going on, and they were coming back early, but their plane didn’t leave until morning so Nico had to stay with the Waynes until they got home.) Asten had said he called his uncle, but Bentley didn’t actually think so — he’d been near the bathroom door the whole time and never heard him say anything. But maybe he texted him. Either way, Asten was staying the night again, too. (As if Bruce would even consider letting him go home alone — He’d been checking on them nonstop, once every fifteen minutes at least. No one would know he was the calm and collected Batman based on the way he acted with his kids. Which was probably a good thing.)

“Bentley?”

It was the first time he’d heard Nico’s voice in quite a while, so both he and Asten perked up, glancing over at the blonde. His ocean blue eyes were locked on the ceiling. He was tugging on the strings of his light gray hoodie in a repetitive, rhythmic pattern, staring at nothing but deep in thought.

“Yeah?” Bentley questioned, picking at the edge of his clear phone case.

“What was your dream like? About her?” 

Bentley blinked. They hadn’t talked about the Secret Keeper since they got home, and he really hadn’t expected Nico to be the one to bring it up. He tapped on his phone lightly, exhaling.

“Uh… well… it was really realistic,” Was how he started, gaze focusing on the dark comforter he had over his legs. “I thought I was awake, and I started hearing her. Talking to me.”

He tried to hide the little shiver that shook him when he imagined the warped, strange mixture of her voice and Damian’s, but he wasn’t sure he hid it very well. “I tried to run but she was everywhere, taking peoples faces, their voices, just for me to look up and realize it was her and not them. I...” He looked down a bit farther. “I threw up when I finally woke up.”

Nico glanced over at him, blue eyes bouncing across his face for a few seconds. “Mine was really realistic, too. I woke up when my baby sister was crying, and I went to get her, but when I opened her bedroom door it was…” He trailed off, focusing back on the ceiling. “She, uh… started chasing me around my house. And none of the doors went to the right rooms, everywhere was a dead end, and I couldn’t find my parents or my sister, and I…”

Bentley glanced over at him, watching him blink the tiniest hint of glassy-ness out of his eyes. “Don’t be embarrassed,” Nico finally continued. “I threw up, too. Like four times. It always happens when I get really scared.”

A moment of silence passed.

“Was yours weird like that, Asten?” He questioned, glancing over at him.

Asten shrugged, not looking up from the screen that was lighting up his face and hair. “It… uh…”

Bentley watched his green irises move from the screen, to the keyboard, down to his lap, bouncing around there for a few moments. “I don’t… really want to talk about it.”

Nico blinked, looking back at the ceiling. “…Sorry.”

“S’fine,”

The room fell quiet, and Bentley kept fiddling with his phone. Maybe Asten’s dream had something to do with his parents or Brazil — that would make sense why he didn’t want to talk about it. Or maybe he was just terrified and didn’t want to think about it. Justifiably.

Bentley breathed in and out. “How’s your research going?” He said after a few moments, glancing over at Asten.

The blue-haired-boy shrugged. “I’ve pretty much dead-ended on my missing persons list. It totals up to forty-nine in the past four months, in and around Gotham. A lot of them are already… dead.”

Asten picked up the laptop and moved next to Bentley, adjusting the screen so he could see it. He had a spreadsheet open with a list of names and links to the articles where he’d found them. The whole thing looked freakishly similar to Tim’s — Asten wasn’t kidding around with his research, apparently.

“Research for what?” Nico questioned, sitting up on his elbows to gaze at them.

“I’m making a list of all the potential Secret Keeper targets. Trying to find something to go off of. To find her boss,” Asten explained, nonchalantly.

Nico wasted no time sitting up with a high-pitched: “To find her what?!”

Asten shrugged. “I dunno! Her boss, her leader, her dad, whoever branded her head.”

“Branded her head?”

“Yes, branded her head,” Asten clarified with a sigh. Nico pushed himself upright and shimmied up to the headboard, on the other side of Asten to look at the computer.

“Why in the world are you trying to find her boss?” He murmured, scanning the spreadsheet quickly.

“Because I want to destroy her,” Asten said, with a completely blank, serious expression on his face. Nico stared at him for a solid ten seconds before he frowned.

“What’re you gonna do? She’s killed people!”

Asten scoffed. “I’m going to make her life a living hell, thank you very much. Bentley said he’s in.”

Nico’s panicky blue eyes flicked over to Bentley. “For real?”

He shrugged lightly. Chasing down murdery metahuman supervillains wasn’t exactly his idea of fun, but if it would convince Damian he deserved to live with them, he’d do that five times over. After all, it’s what his whole family did, every single night. 

“Yeah,” He muttered quietly.

“If they harass you, harass them back,” Asten chimed, like it was some sort of nursery rhyme he learned when he was little. Nico gaped at him. “Fight fire with fire, they hit you, you hit them harder, all that jazz.”

“That’s illegal and immoral,” Nico murmured. “And I’m pretty sure fire plus fire just equals more fire.”

Bentley glanced up at Asten, who snickered: “Nothings illegal if you don’t get caught!”

Nico blinked a few times, in silence. “No,” He deadpanned. “How are her supposed victims going to help you find her boss, anyway?”

Asten shrugged. “I’m not actually sure yet. Just working with what I’ve got. Which isn’t much.”

None of them said anything for a solid ten seconds, all just glancing between each other and the computer.

“You guys can help me, actually. I’m trying to find anything besides being missing or dead that might link all these people together. If you want to see what you can find on some of them, that would be very helpful,” Asten explained.

“Helpful in finding a boss that might not even exist, of a lady who can kill you from four states away, that’s been personally attacking us. Sounds safe to me,” Nico muttered, and Asten elbowed him with a pointed glare. 

“Shut up,”

“Why are you so obsessed with destroying her? Gotham has police and superheroes for that,” Nico continued.

Asten stared at the screen in silence for a moment, something grim swirling in the back of his eyes before he pushed it away with a sharp inhale. “Because she’s been stalking us like a freaking psycho. If she’s gonna mess with us, she’s gonna know who she’s messing with.”

Bentley blinked. “If she can read our minds, I guess she already does.”

Asten glanced over at him for a moment, their eyes locking for a solid five seconds before he looked away again.

“True,”

“You think she can just always read our minds? Whenever she wants?” Nico interjected, glancing between them worriedly. “Because I don’t think a supervillain that knows we’re trying to catch them is going to be very easy to catch. Not to mention she’ll probably kill us.”

Asten shrugged. “I mean, if she can, she already knows. There’s no point in stopping now.”

“Uh, yeah, there is. It’s called not dying,” Nico sassed.

“Would you just help me?” Asten finally muttered, gesturing to the computer. “Just pick anyone on the list and see what you can find. It’d take me forever to do all these.”

Bentley obeyed, turning his phone the right way and choosing a name from the very top of the list: Titus Lancaster. 

He navigated to the internet and typed the name in, and immediately, several different results popped up.

The first one was on a website called Gotham’s Coldest Cases, and when he clicked on it, a picture of a boy with shiny, grayish-brown eyes was the first thing he saw. He was holding a guitar and sitting on the floor in front of a distant Christmas tree, wearing a red hoodie and gray sweatpants, smiling brightly up at the camera with dimples the size of craters. There was a red and black beanie pulled over his head, his deep brown hair only peeking out slightly from the front and back.

The headline beneath it was: New Jersey Couple Awakes to their Twelve Year Old Son Gone Without a Trace.

Bentley continued to scroll, watching the body of the article appear as he did.

Isabelle and Jonathan Lancaster awoke the morning of May 6 like it was any other day… little did they know, it wasn’t. When Isabelle Lancaster went to wake up her pre-teen son for school, he wasn’t there.

‘There was nothing in his room or in the rest of the house that would suggest he ran away. Even his cellphone was still charging on his nightstand.’ Says Eugenia Carlomile, head detective on the case. ‘No signs of forced entry or forced exit, no sightings of him or any suspicious persons anywhere outside of their house. We’re waiting for further evidence to continue our search.’

Titus Lancaster was last seen on May 5, when he and his parents parted ways for bed around 10:45pm. He was reportedly wearing a black hoodie with his last name and the number 16 on the back, and the Gotham City Middle School basketball logo on the front, with light gray sweatpants and a black and red beanie on his head. 

As of today, July 17, there are still no sightings of Titus. His family is holding an empty, closed casket funeral that is open to the public for anyone who wishes to grieve with them on July 27.

If you have seen or believe you have seen Titus Lancaster, or have heard any additional information regarding his disappearance, please contact the Gotham City Police Department at (856)-916-GCPD.

Bentley scrolled back to the top and saved the website to his favorites folder, before tapping his way back to the initial search results.

The second website that came up was Gotham News Network (GNN). When he opened it, there was a button at the top that said About the Disappearance of Titus Lancaster, but below that stood the large headline: Isabelle and Jonathan Lancaster Found Dead.

He took a deep breath, in and out, then scrolled down.

Isabelle and Jonathan Lancaster were found dead in their garage due to asphyxiation on July 28, caused by the trapped fumes of two running vehicles. Detective Eugenia Carlomile suggests this was a direct response to their missing twelve-year-old son, Titus Lancaster’s closed casket funeral the day before.

Bentley opted out of reading the rest of the article, saving it to his file with the other instead.

He couldn’t even imagine going missing, only to come back and learn your parents were dead.

The rest of the articles were repeats of those two, the only other relevant website being one called Gotham Areopagus. Bentley clicked on it, but it just ended up being a congratulations on their website for a group graduating from a children’s physics course there early in the year. Titus was among the list of names.

“I didn’t find anything about Titus, other than what happened to him and his parents,” Bentley said quietly, glancing over at Asten. “And that he took some class at a place called the… Areopagus?”

Asten nodded lightly, typing something next to Titus’s name. “It’s some rich kid's extracurricular class thing. I think people go there to just… take more classes? Nico’s been there.”

Bentley glanced over at the blonde, who shrugged. “It’s like, hands on STEM class stuff. I only went to a birthday party there, but there are year-long courses and stuff you can take.”

Bentley nodded lightly. He wasn’t going to ask what STEM meant.

“I’m surprised you didn’t know about it, nosebleed,” Asten taunted, nudging Bentley with his elbow. “Y’know, being the kid of the richest man, like, ever, and everything.”

Bentley shrugged. “I’m not from here, remember? I’m from Drew.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Asten continued. “You can look up someone else, then. It’s fine if you can’t find much.”

Bentley moved onto another random name, in the middle of the list: Davis Henderson.

Why did he recognize that name?

He typed it into his browser, scanning the results that popped up. The first one was on a news site called Right Now New Jersey, and when he clicked on it, the headline read: New Jersey College Student Assaulted at Work.

When he opened it, a photograph of an eerily familiar, blonde-haired-green-eyed guy came up. He was wearing a blue button up and a little waist apron, with a notepad and pen in his hands, smiling down at the camera. Behind him was a bar.

The bar Bentley went into when he was running from his father last year. It was that Davis, the waiter that tried to keep Bentley away from his father’s men, to protect him, only to get the butt of a pistol to his head.

21-year-old Davis Henderson was assaulted by an unknown assailant in the back room of the bar he works at. He was found unconscious with a blow to the head by coworker, Madison Langford, who called the police. ‘All I saw was blood, a lot of it, and I immediately called the cops,’ Said Langford, Henderson’s coworker in training. ‘I was so afraid he might’ve been dead.’

Henderson woke up confused and unable to give the police any description of his assailant or the incident in question. The camera system in the bar seemed to have been tampered with, as the exact time of the assault was cut out of the footage. More on this story as it develops.

Bentley quickly clicked off of that article. He could still remember the way the gun cracked as it collided with the waiter’s head. The way he dropped like a rag doll. The fact that it was all his fault.

He silently scrolled down to the next article instead, on the same website as Titus’s: Gotham’s Coldest Cases. The headline was: Star Princeton University Student Missing?

He opened it up and scrolled past the exact picture of Davis that was on the other website.

21-year-old Princeton University student Davis Henderson was declared missing on August 2nd, after not showing up to work or classes for 24 hours. 

He was last seen on surveillance walking between his home and work on August 1st at approximately 3:27am on 9th street, near Whitehouse Library and The Gotham Areopagus. He was wearing a blue button-up, black slacks, and black tennis-shoes. He didn’t make contact with anyone on or around the time of his disappearance, and there is no surveillance footage of him returning to his apartment complex that night or the following 48 hours.

‘I assumed he was sick when he didn’t come to class,’ Said Ethan Hunt, Davis’s classmate at Princeton University. ‘But he didn’t respond all day. I drove all the way to his apartment complex in Gotham, to make sure he hadn’t fallen seriously ill, but it was still locked and he wasn’t home.’

If you have seen or believe you have seen Davis Henderson, or have heard any additional information regarding his disappearance, please contact the Gotham City Police Department at (856)-916-GCPD.

Bentley sighed lightly and closed the website. Davis was so nice to him, and now he was… gone. Disappeared off the street.

And wasn’t Whitehouse Library the same place where The Secret Keeper chased Asten?

When he went through more of the search results, they were just repeats of those two stories, plus a few social media posts where Davis was tagged. Bentley scoured four different accounts of his, even going back as far as when he was a young teenager, but there was nothing that aided his search or seemed suspicious in the slightest. 

Bentley sighed heavily, glancing at the list Asten had made. “This guy was last seen in the same area where the Secret Keeper chased you.” 

Asten glanced over at him, then at his phone. “Who?”

“Davis Henderson,” Bentley stated, and Asten nodded, finding Davis’s column and typing a few things next to his name.

“I’m not finding anything on this Olivia girl but her dream and the reports of her going missing,” Nico stated. “She saw the Secret Keeper in her yard.”

“That’s fine,” Asten muttered.

Well, three down. Forty-six to go.

—

dedicated to @sassenashsworld 💚

—

tag list! (If you want me to remove or add you, ask in comments!)

@fleur-alise @sarcopterygiian @cademygod

[ya-what--ya-erster]

heal me only to break me again

Ralbert, newsies

TW here for: death, suicide, albeism (breif), sexism (breif)

Also, note that ~~~ marks the beginning and end of me, an asexual who has never even kissed someone before, very briefly having my lovely boys make out so uh you can skip that if you want.

Race was a fast kid. Really fast. That's how, in second grade, he got his nickname. 

Jack Kelly walked up to his friend (and brother, eventually) and said 'You should be called Race, not Antonio."

That's how everyone knew him from that moment on. 

Race was also a dancer. A really, really good dancer. He was one with the movement and music. Anyone who had seen him dance could have told you how amazing he was. 

He had a cool best friend.

He had a cool mom who adopted him and Jack when he was sixteen years old. 

He did well in school.

He got into a good college. 

Nobody really understood why he jumped. 

All anyone knew was that he somehow survived, and all the things he was before were no more. 

Antonio was not fast. He couldn't figure out how to get going in a wheelchair. 

He insisted that nobody call him Race. Just Antonio. 

Everyone listened.

Antonio would never dance again, because he would never even stand again, and all that he had worked for was lost. The one thing he loved in life was gone forever.

His cool best friend was treating him like he was fragile. No best friend shenanigans ensued, ever. Just, "Tony, are you okay?" and "Tony, should I call someone?"

He would not answer Medda's calls, or Jack's, even when he knew he probably should. 

School didn't matter anymore.

He was going to major in dance. That wasn't happening anymore. 

Everyone understood why Antonio was distant. 

Albert DaSilva, Tony's best friend and roommate, he was the only one kept close. Even when everyone else was being pushed away. 

Slowly, Antonio became more himself, able to move around and able to go a day without crying (sometimes). He let Albert call him Race again. 

And then it happened. 

The day that shot him down and raised him up all at once. 

Albert entered the apartment to the sound of a nature documentary and crying. 

"Tony?" He called out. "You in here?"

He was met with a loud sob. 

He hurried to sit down next to Race, who was propped up by six throw pillows on the couch (a number that Albert found absurd and Antonio found secure and comforting). 

"What's going on?" Albert asked softly, putting an arm over Race's shoulder. 

"Nothin'." Race lied. 

Albert paused the documentary and asked again. 

"I miss being... not disabled. I just wanna be myself again."

"Did something happen? Did someone say something?"

"Yeah, uh. I just, uh. I went to get groceries cause I wanted to help out an' stuff, and I was confronted by three things I hate, which are ableism, sexism, and having to ask for help."

"Care to continue?"

"... sure. Uh. Your stupid man-period stuff was on a shelf I couldn't get to myself so I asked a guy passing by if he could help me and he asked what I needed pads for so I told him 'it's for my roommate.' And he's all, 'are you friends with your roommate?' and I said yes and he says, and I  quote, 'wow, I could never be friends with or date a disabled person' an' he pointed to my pride pin when he said that so I was all shocked and so I ask,  like, why, and he says 'it couldn't be a real relationship because it would be built on pity, and only one person could actually function.' So I pointed out that I'm the one doing the grocery shopping, and he told me it's pathetic that I would buy pads for my roommate because it's not manly enough and says, 'not that a kid in a wheelchair could even be considered a man anyways.' AND THEN he just WALKED AWAY without helping me so I had to sit there waiting for someone else to pass by."

Race took a long breath and choked out another sob. 

"Wow, that's awful. I'm sorry." Albert said, hugging Antonio. 

"And now, now I'm wondering if he's... Like, he might be right. What if nobody ever falls in love with me?"

"You'll find someone." 

That someone should be me, Albert thought. 

Race shifted to look Albert in the eyes. 

"What if I don't just want 'someone', Al?"

The look in Tony's eyes made Albert's heart ache. But it also sparked something within him. 

"What do you want, then?"

Antonio looked away, then back at Albert, wiping tears from his eyes. 

"You." He whispered.

Their separate worlds became one. 

~~~ Albert's lips were against Race's in a second. He needed Race. Race needed him. They needed each other the same way your average person needed air. 

Race wrapped his arms around Albert's neck and pulled himself closer to Albert, and Albert got the message. He pulled Race onto his lap, one leg on each side of him, crossed around his back. 

"This okay?" He mumbled.

"Please." Race replied, urgent.

Albert was in heaven, sitting there, kissing a trail from Antonio's ear down to his shirt's collar. When he got there, he returned to Race's lips, kissing him like his life depended on it. 

Maybe it did.

Maybe their lives depended on that moment, Albert kissing Race and Race kissing back while tugging gently on Albert's beautiful red hair. ~~~

All the two know is that when they're done, they're both grinning like Cheshire cats, happy. 

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to kiss you." Albert said, his voice airy and almost disbelieving. 

"Sixth grade." Race said. 

"What?"

"I think I've liked you like that since sixth grade, that day... Mr. Denton told you you couldn't possibly be a boy because you didn't look like one, so you picked up those scissors and chopped your ponytail off and handed it to him. He deserved that."

Albert laughed lightly. 

"I got you beat though, cause I liked you before I cut my hair. It was still sixth grade though. At a dance recital when we got to dance together. You and your cute fluffy hair and how... perfect you were. I hate that we don't dance together anymore, since it's girls and boys in partnerships, you know."

"I wouldn't be able to dance with you either way." Tony's voice became cold, sad, distant. 

Albert felt bad instantly for bringing it up. Dancing. 

Something Race had held so close to his heart since he was little. The only thing he had, most of his life. All he had was the freedom that came with dancing and it was gone. 

Race couldn't stand it. 

"I just... even if I could only do it one more time. I didn't care, for a while. I was burnt out and done with everything and I was planning on saying goodbye to dancing anyways, but now. Now I'm alive and planning on living and I just want to fly again. I'm no one without that piece of me, Albie. I'll never be like that again, though, because I didn't do the job right."

"Don't... Don't say that. You're still you, the you that I care so deeply about, even if you can't dance. Even if the doctor's 'maybe one day' never comes. You're still my amazing best friend and some extra, no matter what."

"I know, Al. It just makes me want to puke when I think about the fact that I will never be a dancer again."

Albert stopped. He nodded. He knew how it would feel if he were never able to dance again. He would go crazy in his own head. 

"Hey, I have an idea." He said suddenly, jumping up off the couch. 

"What is it?" 

"Can I pick you up? Sort of?" 

"I mean, go for it." 

So Albert did. He pulled Race up, arms secure around his waist so he wouldn't fall, and lifted him on top of his feet. 

"Put your arms around my neck and hold on tight." He instructed. 

Race did as he was told, sort of scared for whatever Albert had in mind. 

Albert, with one hand, typed something in his phone, turned up the volume, and slid it into his back pocket. 

A familiar song ran through the speakers of Albert's phone as Albert wrapped his arms back around Antonio's waist and began to shuffle back and forth as carefully as possible. 

It does great favors to the situation that Race is pretty light. 

"I know it's not the same," Albert said, "but it's still one more dance."

The song came to an end and the two were re-seated on the couch, feeling something indescribable. Joy and sadness. Heartbreak and hope. All together in one small, half smile. 

"Thank you." Race said. He dared not make eye contact. He didn't want to cry anymore. 

He was happy, he was happy, he was happy. 

He wanted it to last as long as it could.

Two weeks, in other words.

Two weeks of being able to talk about all that was inside of him. Two weeks staying up until midnight cuddling with Albert and watching crappy movies. Two weeks of somewhat happiness swept Race off his feet and led him to the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Two whole glorious weeks before there was an avalanche, and the tunnel's exit was blocked. 

"Heya, Tony. How's it going?" 

Jack Kelly sat down in front of him. Brotherly meeting. Urgent. 

"I'm alright. And you?"

Jack looked down at the table. 

"Look, I don't want to be the one to tell ya this... But, I'm here 'cause you'se my brother and I wants ta be here for ya."

"Okay?" Dread pooled in the pit of Race's stomach. 

"Red's gone."

"What?" 

He heard wrong he heard wrong he heard wrong-

"They found 'im in an alleyway, beat bloody and long gone."

It's not true it's not true it's not true it's not true-

"Tony, you'se gotta stay with me, okay?" Jack was crying.

Someone killed Albert someone killed Albert someone-

"You're lying. He's fine." Race's voice shook as he spoke. 

"Turn on the news."

"He can't be gone."

"I know it hurts."

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" Race yelled. He didn't care that his neighbors could probably hear him, he didn't care that he would hurt Jack's feelings, he just didn't care about anything at all. "You, you don't even come close to understanding a thing! The only thing I had was him, and according to you he's not here anymore! You still have the boy you love so don't even think for a second that you know! You- I love him and I won't... won't ever..." 

Race couldn't go on. 

Race would never get to tell Albert that he loved him. 

Race was nothing. 

Race was not a dancer and he wasn't fast and he wasn't good in school and he hardly had family and he wasn't a boyfriend. 

And Albert who gave those things back to him...

Albert who held Race and danced with him when he was sad. 

Albert who occasionally offered to push Race's wheelchair down the empty sidewalk as fast as he possibly could just to get Race to smile.

Albert who offered to help Race find something else to do in school. 

Albert who encouraged Race to talk to Jack. 

Albert who held Race's hand and kissed his nose and did everything a person in love would do.

Albert who gave Race all the things he'd lost and then some, just to take it all back again. Never again would he have those things. 

He was going to follow and he was going to give himself all of the things that Albert took away from him by leaving him here.

He wasn't staying. 

"Jack, you've got to leave."

"I ain't leaving you here alone after what you did a few months ago."

"I'm not STUPID, okay? Leave me alone."

Jack looked hurt. But still, he nodded, said goodbye, and left. 

Common happening for the day, leaving Race alone. 

Race could end up alone when he finished the job. 

Maybe. 

Or maybe he would find his way to all that he had lost before.

He wouldn't be able to let you know.

Healing, he decided, was not his thing. It was only a matter of time before things came full circle, and he broke again. 

[naomimcoffeecard]

FOREVER IN LOVE🌷

Akaashi keiji x fem reader

Warning : Akaashi being a big softie for reader and my bad grammer

Word count : 1,155

Summary : you are the princess of a flourished kingdom, the king took great care of enriching the kingdom and now All thanks to your father, you are also expected to do the same , burdened with your duties you get little to no time for yourself, so when you heard about the on going festival in your kingdom you are not going to lose this change but what you never expected was for your guard aka akaashi keiji who was your bestfriend since childhood (and crush) to go with you...

***************************************

***************************************

The young blooded guard was on duty of guarding the crown princess's chambers that night . he was thinking about the last sixteen years he had spend with the princess .

He smiled fondly at the thought of four years old princess with short shiny hair and chubby cheeks .

While he was lost in his thought , a guard came up to him and handed him the princess 's schedule . On cue akaashi thanked his fellow colleague and turned around to knock on the princess's door

Except he didn't receive any response

"Princess are you awake ?"

Princess pardon me but I am coming in-"

The sight before him made his eyes widened

"What are you doing "

"I-"

The princess was in commoner's clothes about to jump out of her window

"You are sneaking out "akaashi continued

"It's not what it looks like!!"

" Sure " akaashi snorts

"Look keiji ,my dearest friend , you see there is a festival going on let me go please "

Akaashi smirks "you can go "

"YEAH-"

But I am going with you" akaashi smiled

"Oh c'mon I am eighteen already , I can take care of myself "you whined

"Make sure my father doesnt hear a thing about this "

Akaashi patted her hair and said " protecting you is my responsibility princess " the young princess rolled her eyes

" You sound like a fifty year old man, keiji and didn't I tell you to stop called me princess "

Akaashi laughed "sure princess"

You scoffed "let's get going "

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"Keiji what's that"

The princess pointed to the alluring food in the food stall .she was currently wearing some commoners clothes cause she shouldn't be recognised by anyone , akaashi 's words ,not her's

"It's dorayaki princess, it's a sweet dessert"

"Akaashi keiji go buy me that it's a order from your future queen "

She tried to look intimating but her angry eyes and slight pout made her look as harmful as a puppy

And how can akaashi resist that?

Akaashi did a fake salute and jogged to the food stall selling the sweet treat (with y/n following him like a puppy ) and ordered for two dorayaki , the old shop keeper smiled warmly at him and handed him his order not before saying that " it's been a while since I saw such a lovely couple " akaashi blushed at her words but somehow composed himself before saying " yes of course "

He returned back to his princess who was patiently sitting in one of the chairs

"Let's go princess "

"Keiji look at that" y/n's eyes shined as she looked at the stall in front of them.

"I really wanna try that target shooting game. Maybe I can win you a plushie! " Her face beamed at akaashis soft smile.

She hoped towards the stall with akaashi trailing behind her " 5 arrows please" y/n requested to the old shop keeper.

"Sure miss, here you go" Yn took the arrows and focused intently at the target.Instantly she hit the bulls eye and won 3 plushies

"yay!!" Y/n squeal in excitement "Keiji here you go! " She smiled proudly at her accomplishments She gave the plushies to akaashi but as soon as she looked at his Direction akaashi was already looking at her with nothing but admiration and fondness.

" Keiji" asked y/n and as on clue akaashi was snapped from his daydreaming (night) he blushed and took the three plushies from her .

They were both looking at each other until a Bright and dazzling light bloomed in the dark sky they sky was full of colours in an instant

"I know a better place to watch this " suggested akaashi He grabbed her hand startling her. But she liked it. He took her hand and they ran midst the crowd towards the hill top.

***************************************

Both of them settled down in a huge rock yn gasped for air The view was breathtaking all the splattered colors painted the dark sky.

While y/n was admiring the view someone else was admiring the person beside him.

They were still holding hands. Neither of them tried to let go of the others hand first."Y/n " akkashi softly called her name"Yes keiji? " She replied with dreamy eyes.

Akaashi gently cupped her chin and leaned closer "may i?" She nodded , Y/n closed her eyes and leaned towards him until both of their lips collides into a sweet kiss. His lips tasted exactly like peaches and honey. It seemed to yn as if akaashi has been waiting for this for a long time. He held onto her like she was going to leave at any moment. She could feel the longing on his lips.

Akaashi grapped her waist and deepened the kiss.

Yn blushed and felt her cheeks heat up "Is this okay princess" He gasped for air in between the kisses,

Yn loved him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and twirled his soft hair. She has been waiting to do this for too long.

Finally they had to part due to the burning need of oxygen in their lungs "Why did you kiss me keiji? Tell me the reason. I need to hear it. " She demanded

"You already know the reason princess" "what is the reason keiji?"

"I think I am in love with you princess. "

akaashi panted with tinted cheeks Yns eyes widened in shock She never expected the boy who was always so calm and caring love someone as scatter brained and tense person like her

She pulled him by his collar for another kiss.cThis time the kiss was more gentle but full of passion and love .

After what felt like ages they pulled apart. "I love you too keiji, I think I always have."

"I have loved you at every ball, everytime you stole my clothes to sneak out, every single day ive been by your side. " He confessed.

"Me too keiji always and forever" Yn repliedYn leaned on his shoulder.And they let the world pass them by. The only thing they needed was each other.

The end.💐

[cloudstrifing]

stuff to write masterpost

mostly for my own reference but it is always more fun and motivating to share so!!! perceive if u wish, if ANY of these get written it’s a win actually!!!

fics marked green are done fics marked orange are in progress fic marked blue are on hold for now!! anything else is not started yet!

ffvii:

secret fic for turks fan exchange:

Coloratura

aerti/zakkura/rdrn triptych of au oneshots, tied together by the fact that everyone goes to the same gym

rdrn fake dating for a mission bc i have ALL the confession dialogue ready to launch alrd and it’d be a waste not to deploy..... (i conceived her last winter and was hoping to time it with NYE whihc. that could still happen. lmfao. update: ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN BC TIME IS FAKE, update to the update: welp yet another winter is coming up so .)

jjk:

ch 3 (final) of wellness grifter geto stsg au (Let’s Purify ✩ Body & Mind!!) -- posted the second chapter after only (checks watch) a year and two weeks lmao. this one is getting slept on bc i have zero presence in the jjk fandom and my timing sucks. but ill prob finish it someday since *i* think the idea is good so WHATEVER!!

trigun:

drunk and unsexy boys-will-be-boys vw: good old-fashioned lover boy (it ended up maybe a bit more sexy than intended)

less drunk but VERY sexy plant heat vw: Gun Barrel Red Hot

modern au kniveswood ft terrible manipulative relationship dynamics to uncritically emulate in real life: pov: you're the most fuckable person at the grocery store currently in progress; also a bonus little epilogue-like pwp pretty fixation

post trimax livvash, aiming for short but eternally traumatizing: say your name, forever

dark biopunk au for kniveswood bang: oxytocin running

og (finally regaining some urge to work on these):

lesbians caught in a snowstorm but actually caught in the mindscape of the Creature but actually caught in their own inability to do feelings pls god i just need to finish Any version of this -- a finished version now exists! idk if it's my best work but it sure is done :'') if i can get someone to edit it i may start shopping it around after!

hivemind jellyfish slayer turned good dad angst bonanza ditto above -- this is currently undergoing edits after brilliant feedback from from AJ!! i finished a version i was p happy with but after i incorporate AJ's edits it will become so much better

The Necromancers Are All Dead but make it flash fiction in order 2 reclaim my ability to have fun with a concept without spending sixteen months with it first -- speedran a version of this in my little writing illegally at work notebook, i don't really know what this story wants to be yet but at least ive sat with it for a while

novel ideas wanna be attended to; am reattempting some expanded synopses bc given some distance, some of my ideas were perhaps more substantial than i gave them credit for wahoo

updating this periodically for the rush of ticking items off a list <3

[idletype]

six recent song favorites!

thank you for the tag @sillsif. i listen to music that exclusively falls into either one of two categories: (a) silly or (b) devastating. i think my selection here pretty accurately reflects that. also i have bad taste but it's perfect to me. ok in no particular order:

ditto - newjeans: my brother is trying to indoctrinate me to newjeansism and it's working. this music video is SUPER well-done and interesting, a lot of thought is put into their concepts and videos. and they're just the cutest girls in the world! also i like this more than omg but omg IS iconic.

Stay in the middle Like you a little, don't want no riddle Say it, say it back, oh, say it ditto

i need u - tnx: i got into tnx last year in a 3-day long frenzy when i had covid and was in quarantine, i really like them! i think they're very talented and have an appealing overall group dynamic. this song is very different from their debut song but i like the sound of it a lot, it feels very boyband-y. some of the lyrics are kind of silly lol

Waking up and falling asleep to your warmth that still remains We were meant to be We had the right chemistry Hope this wasn't a one-sided story of a hopeless romantic

devil by the window - tomorrow x together: my fav off the new album <3 my brother described it as evil dove cameron-esque tiktok music and i'm okay with that. overall, i really like this album and their concept for this era. with every new album i get a new favorite txt b-side (though i think opening sequence still remains on top for me).

I met the devil by the window Traded my life Temptation touched my tongue Spread the wings of desire

animal - jinyoung: PARK JINYOUNG I AM YOUR FAN FOREVER! i really love this album and i'm grateful that jinyoung decided to continue making music because i lowkey expected him to just go full-time acting. i like that this song is a sad balland, jinyoung has such a pretty and emotive voice.

Close the curtains and come back to bed Close your eyes and ask for a dream Sins grow and become thorns No matter how much I hid it, I couldn't hide it

waiting room - phoebe bridgers: it's my villain origin story that they took this off of spotify. the structure of this song is pretty simplistic and there's minimal lyrics, but god. it's just raw yearning in this bittersweet and haunting way. this is on my palmnueng playlist.

I wanna be the broken love song that feeds your misery And I can wish all that I want, but it won't bring us together Plus I know whatever happens to me, I know it's for the better

when - dodie: specifically, the version she performed during her tiny desk set (which i linked and would highly recommend watching the whole thing). she first released this song through youtube when i was around 14, now i'm almost 21. dodie is one of those artists who has gotten me through a very specific part of my youth. the way this song and the arrangement has evolved over the years is really beautiful. i'm glad she continues to perform it.

I'm sick of faking diary entries Got to get it in my head I’ll never be sixteen again I'm waiting to live, and waiting to love Oh it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when

tagging: @petrichoraline @soundgun @chinzhillababy @ashedddaisy and anyone else who'd like to do it! thank you for reading if you did.

[mirror-to-the-past]

My Personal Top 10 KH Music Ranking That Nobody Asked For, because really, I could talk about music all day. So, here we are! :D

(1-5 are songs that overwrote some part of my brain chemistry. 6-10 are amazing and still give me happy brain syndrome upon listening to.)

1. "Nachtflügel" - KH3

Objectively incredible feat of musical composition that should go down in history- that piano work is ridiculous. I don't even know what to say, really. Went into a trance-like state while listening to this for the first time. If this was able to usurp "Enter the Void" for me, you know this is good. When that beautiful, soaring melody comes in around 0:40, you just wanna cry. When that lower, mournful motion comes in around 2:10 mark, just... godly. It's like flying but with darkened angel wings; don't know how else to describe it- menacing but free. I'm bad with describing how music makes me feel, because it's often just so MUCH. Very dynamic, excellent, showstopping, etc. Can't wait for Shimomura to ascend to musician heaven in a chariot of fire.

2. "Enter the Void" BBS

When I first heard this I was filled with such unparalleled levels of energy that I can't communicate effectively. The rhythm from the drums and horns is something primal that you feel in your soul. Feels so heroic. I am going to war /positive. When the strings hit around a minute in, I feel like I'm flying. Around 1:50 in, when the orchestra comes in after that brief break, I legitimately almost cried from the euphoria, haha.

3. "Forze Dell'Oscurita" - BBS/KH3

That intro is just godlike. Not much more to say. Spiritually froth at the mouth with all the Xehanort-related motifs present here. Both versions are awesome AF, with me maaaybe picking the KH3 version if I had to, purely because of that flute trill at the beginning, and those horns.

4. "Musique pour la tristesse de Xion" - 358/2 Days

Beautiful mixture of Riku and Kairi's theme. When it gets to Kairi's leitmotif, the melody is so dreamy and ethereal- absolutely gorgeous.

5. "The 13th Reflection" - KH2

So hype. That's it. So hype. Grandiose and beautiful both in original forms and remastered version. I go bonkers. It's got that Final Fantasy percussive pattern I love.

6. "Enter the Darkness" - BBS Version

The usage of Ventus', Roxas', and ESPECIALLY how Sora's leitmotifs come into the melody are excellently executed and exhilarating. And don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the addition of the electric guitar in the KH3 version, but the original hits in its own way that the other version didn't. And shout-out to that part of "Unbreakable Chains" with Sora's leitmotif but super jazzy and darker in tone. Love that.

The cutscene where this track first started playing in DDD is forever tattooed in my mind, because the visual and musical transition into the fight was magnificent. It's got Destati, it's got Ansem KH1 fight theme. It's good shit.

7. "L'Eminenza Oscura I" - DDD or KH3 version. Both rock.

"You can try."

*WHOOOSH*

*PIANO LIMIT BREAK*

("You can't protect ANYTHING." Damn Ansem, chill out, Riku's just sixteen. Stop capitalizing on his insecurities.)

8. "Sacred Distance" - DDD

The usage of a mournful, trailed off version of Dearly Beloved's piano is so poignant for this ost, as encountering this track after finding out "Dearly Beloved's" significance to Sora and Riku's connection and seeing Sora's dangerous position in the plot at TWTNW signifies that the broken down parts of Dearly Beloved's melody littered throughout the song is no coincidence. It gives the stark feeling something is wrong/missing. I look like that "Patrick Bateman listening to music with his eyes closed" meme while listening to this track. That violin part...

9. "Treasured Memories" - KH1

In the words of someone who overheard my playlist: "That sounds like something I'd play while depressed to stay depressed." It's been immortalized in my mind since. It also reminds me somewhat of the City Ruins piece from NieR: Automata. Very serene and melancholic.

10. "Lazy Afternoons" - CoM version

I loved this version with the leading harmonica so much I didn't care for the KH2 version nearly as much as a result. Y'know that part of Ratatouille where Ego eats the dish and he gets mentally zapped back to his childhood? That's what this song felt like.

Honorable Mentions:

a. "Forze Del Male" - KH1 Version

It just can't be beat. That opening is on par with FFIX's "The Dark Messenger" in terms of memorable villain organ theme intros, for me.

b. "My Heart's Descent" - DDD

My favorite version of the "Dive into the Heart" melodies. Feels dreamlike (lol, wonder why) and so very Important in a way beyond my petty understanding.

c. "The Eye of Darkness"

Cool combat rendition of "Dive into the Heart."

d. "It Began With a Letter" - KH1

So soft. Feels like home.

e. "Keyblade Cycle" - DDD

GROOVIN'.

[leoolol2]

1/10/2024

I woke up at 5:30, took a bath and ate some bread and drank coalhada. i also watched the music video to "a little less sixteen candles, a little more "touch me"" by fall out boy again because it needs to be forever ingrained in my brain.

went to class today, a bunch of unimportant shit happened and i got into a lot of stress. i kinda isolated myself and stuff. accidentally began scratching myself.

either way i went home and ate some food, not rly important either. i dont have flute class today but tmrw i have a test. im so fucked. but i went to the library to return a book that i had. it was fun, i talked to the old man and he was fun. i then went to the music store buy a music stand.

after i went home i talked to my mom a bunch and went to my room study. i practically didnt study anything, but its fine. i studied a bit yesterday, anyway. tomorrow i'll study even more if i have the chance. i also played the flute! gonna have an audition on friday for my schools presentation and me and my friends made a band so that we can play together<3 honestly theyre so nice and i like them a lot, even if i dont rly know them that much.

i began watching one of the my chem concert vids that are on the internet (from 2022) and stuff, i was super happy and now im super dysphoric (like i have been for the whole day, honestly) because of something my friend said. its stupid, really. "i hate all men (ur an exception)". thats a compliment, but fuck dude that just made me so unenergetic out of no where? i wanna cry.

i think my ex-situationship also posted abt me on their whatsapp status lol. "is it casual now?" yeah you wanted it to be casual. i dont want it to be casual, though. i wrote you a fucking 33 line essay talking about how much i liked you. whatever, though. you lost me when you said that you didn't want nothing until later when you literally say that you love me every five seconds?

either way im going back to the mcr concert to see if that makes my mood better. if not i'll write here again.

passed out before i could post this (now yesterday). either way mcr concert hyped me the fuck up again. oh and yesterday i bought a wig! thats silly imo. im gonna style it for my nina the killer cosplay once it comes :)

[jaydenundercover11]

Day Fourteen Day Fifteen Day Sixteen

im SOOOOO SORRY that I left you guys hanging those two days! *cries* the first one I genuinely forget, and the second I was too busy to do it- and I think that this is not the first time this might happen, since the farm (oh yeah, if you're not one of my regular followers, you should know I'm a farmhand lol) is picking up steam, during my down time Im trying to do more physical rest for my body to recover. which means unfortuantely, Ive been spending less time on here in general, and that my longer posts that take more time to write have had to pause for a while.

so, I'm sorry to say but this is the last day i'll be able to do this for a while, but maybe forever. I've had so much fun with it and loved to see everybody's different answers, and how we've all connected!! but for at least a few days/weeks, I need a bit of a break lol. if anyone wants to pick up this game again, with the same list of people I've given already or different ones, you are more than welcome to! and I'm not leaving Tumblr, I'm just not going to do this particular ask game anymore.

our final question: what is something that you you want in your life, and what can you do to achieve it? what steps do you need to take to earn the life you see yourself living?

thank all of you so much! I hope to return again maybe sometime! I wish you all the best :)

I can't believe its ending omg - I've had so much fun with this series and I am so thankful that I ended up joining! Of course take all the break time you need Gracie, no rush from me! Anyways, here's my answer!

I honestly dont know what I wanna do with my life.. the question kinda scares me in a sense because I just dont know what i'd be good at or what i'd enjoy. There are the basic options that I kinda wanna do like being a doctor or scientist or smth like that but its just so complicated and i already pressure myself enough to stay "at the top" of my classes, so having to stay at the top on a harder train of classes seems impossible almost. And its also something that you HAVE to enjoy, because if your not good at it or not focused then that could be really bad.. Then I always have wanted to be an author, but i work so so hard in school trying to keep grades up and things like that to get into a good college - like harvard, but if i be an author then almost none of that matters. I mean yeah you can go to school for that but its not the same as if I was trying to get into harvard law, its just going to college for extra advice and learning you can use in your writing (i think i dont actually know..). And I have recently wanted to become a violinist, but a part of me just hates that idea. Like it scares me being on stage and performing for people (also why im not good at sports in a sense) and i feel like I have to be the best at the violin so its just.. yeah.

BUT, for the sake of this question, we'll say I wanted to become a violinist. First, I still do school but I focus a lot on my orchestra classes. I also sign up for things like chamber or honors orchestra to really step up music game. So i do that, and on the side or over summer I go to private lessons to keep my skills sharp. Then, I graduate and I go to a music school! For example we could say Juliard. I honestly dk what happens after that but I just practice violin a lot, learn new skills, and perform a lot too I guess!

However, some skills that can be used for all potential careers could be things like perseverance, practicing a lot on my skillset, no matter what it is. Also, time management is a huge thing to be able to manage all work and stuff. Mainly just soft skills i guess! (if u you dont know soft skills are just the skills you learn over time at jobs, so things like kindness, compassion, teamwork, etc)

And thats it! thank you so much for these amazing questions and have a great break from them/whatever else! 💕💕