#i wanna be just like her when i grow up <- is an adult
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i would literally kill a man for her.
#qkdraws#she's? so cool.#i wanna be just like her when i grow up <- is an adult#she's 100% my second fav of pkmn sv. arven is first and rika takes a close second#the Moment i saw her i was like ''holyshit . ohmyfu kfign god. holy fuckign jesuschruist what the fuck ohm y''#of course she has blue hair and pronouns#her transgender swag is unmatched and her team genuinely gave me the most trouble even tho she's the first elite four#i swept everybody else but for some reason she like . beat my ass a little bit#she's so cool. holy shit girl go#pokemon#pkmn#pokemon scarlet and violet#pkmn sv#pokemon rika#rika pokemon#pkmn rika#rika elite four#elite four rika#i gave her some scars. i do what i want#she's a pkmn trainer she's got scars. shit's dangerous
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Being raised by adults who never apologized for their wrongdoings and always blamed their behavior on extenuating circumstances or someone else or their mental conditions really messed me up huh. Like all I asked was for you to apologize for yelling at me for asking you to hand me something because you thought my tone was wrong. But instead of an apology, I'm the one in the wrong because after all my tone was hostile to you and I need to remember that due to your ADHD you can't control your emotions. Nevermind the fact that I had carefully rehearsed the question in my head over and over again because this is not the first time this has happened. And I'm clearly a manipulative person for crying after being yelled at. Doesn't matter that I was thirteen, after all, I should've known better.
#sorry for the vent post#im just not in a good headspace lately#i just keeping going back to this#because i think it was my breaking point#kinda the moment i realized nothing was gonna change#because it didnt matter how hard i tried#and the fact that even now eleven years later when i explained to her how hurt i was by this interaction#it still gets brushed off and i still don't get an apology#like you wont apologize for the big problems you wont apologize for the small problems#it doesnt matter how much i explain how i was hurt i dont get an apology#id even settle for an insincere one at this point#and now being adult and recognizing how bullshit that behavior was#but being expected to carry on like usual because after all it was never that bad#nothing really terrible ever happened so why should i hold onto the past#idk man like 18 years of constantly walking on eggshells and carefully selecting every word and controlling my tone fucks a person up#and i dont wanna go back to that#nevermind the fact that my anxiety disorder got ignored and brushed off time and time again#nevermind the countless signs and panic attacks and weird behavior#mental health mattered until it was something you didnt have or inconvenienced you#then it was all in my head and i just had to grow a pair and act my age
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WOW I FINALLY FINISHED THIS SET. There were a lot of things I wanted to get right for them so I took some extra time but hopefully it was worth it! The guild for this set is Cobalt Heart- a guild with focus on maritime missions, lead by (of course) guildmaster Neptune. There was no other planet I could've picked for his namesake lol. They're the guild I jokingly call the most jockish, but some moreso than others. I really do hope I did all the characters justice, but if you wanna know more about the individual members, it's under the cut as usual!
Name: Neptune
Name Origin: The planet named for the god of the ocean
Pronouns: He/him
Age: 52
Guild rank: Guildmaster
Weapon: Trident
Ethos (Power): Ocean wave (Control over water- stronger with sea water)
Flaw power is based on: Originally based on his overly relaxed go-with-the-flow nature, but since becoming a father and guildmaster he's matured, and his power grew from simple wave control to more powerful control over the ocean's water. Waves aren't always peaceful, but he's become someone who understands their power and the responsibility needed for it.
Notes: If it's unclear, the marks on his chest are meant to be top surgery tattoos, but in cool wave shapes!
Name: Triton
Name Origin: Neptune's moon, aptly named for his son
Pronouns: He/they
Age: 24
Guild rank: 4 star
Weapon: Twin sai
Ethos (Power): Ocean breath (Underwater breathing as well as other aquatic adaptions)
Flaw power is based on: His ardent wanderlust, especially in regards to the ocean. They literally cannot leave it alone despite any possible better reasoning, which is when it becomes a problem.
Notes: Was his other parent a mermaid or did they just do the fish thing on their own? The world may never know.
Name: Otrera
Name Origin: A trojan asteroid named after the queen of the Amazons
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 32
Guild rank: 5 star
Weapon: Brass knickles
Ethos (Power): Preflexes (Hightened reflexes)
Flaw power is based on: Her overly-guarded and cagey nature.
Notes: But her brass knuckles are pink so its quirky when she knocks your teeth out.
Name: Naos
Name Origin: A star whose name means "ship"
Pronouns: He/him
Age: 21
Guild rank: 3 star
Weapon: Modified crutches
Ethos (Power): Helm (He can change the direction of inanimate objects. It's not limited to projectiles, he can change the direction of objects while they're in someone's hand too.)
Flaw power is based on: His avoidant tenancies, especially where more serious responsibility is concerned.
Notes: Honestly? Joined the guild to boost his playboy status.
Name: Aitne
Name Origin: One of Jupiter's moons, named after the personification of Mount Etna, a stratovolcano
Pronouns: They/them
Age: 27
Guild rank: 4 star
Weapon: Spiked gauntlets and armor
Ethos (Power): Molten Core (Lava manipulation)
Flaw power is based on: Their brash and destructive nature.
Notes: Likes all their food to be charred.
Name: Ariel
Name Origin: A moon or Uranus, named after an air spirit!
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 16
Guild rank: 2 star
Weapon: Baton
Ethos (Power): Harmony (Perfect balance on anything)
Flaw power is based on: Her own difficulty maintaining emotional balance under stress
Notes: She's a gymnast! And even though I didn't make the character named "Ariel" a mermaid, you can still see a scale pattern in her leotard!
Name: Maru
Name Origin: A white dwarf whose name means "Sky." It's orbited by the planet Ahra.
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 18
Guild rank: 3 star
Weapon: Claymore sword
Ethos (Power): Sky walking (She is capable of interacting with air as if it were a tangible object, creating leverage for herself to walk and balance on as if it were solid)
Flaw power is based on: Her somewhat vain tendency to place herself above others
Notes: Complete and utterly confident she's the cooler twin
Name: Ahra
Name Origin: A exoplanet whose name means "Ocean." It orbits the star Maru.
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 18
Guild rank: 3 star
Weapon: Claymore sword
Ethos (Power): Wave riding (Creation and control of tidal waves to ride on, as if she was surfing them with no board. But she does have to be on them.)
Flaw power is based on: Her arrogance and recklessness
Notes: Completely and utterly convinced she's the cooler twin.
Name: Pipoltr/Pip
Name Origin: A star named for "a bright and beautiful butterfly."
Pronouns: Whatever really?
Age: 8
Guild rank: 1 star
Weapon: Giant lollipop
Ethos (Power): None yet!
Flaw power is based on: N/A. This doesn't mean they're flawless, but until their power develops they're really just here to go on fun little adventures.
Notes: This child hangs around with sailors all day long. The words they know....
#finn's ocs#finn's art#oc references#FINALLY POSTING THIS SET#there was a bit of a delay bc i wanted to make sure i got the crutches w naos right#i ended up not making just the crutches a weapon but like. with modifications based on a real self defense item i found#but slightly different for both fantasy reasons and also i think its patented lol#his pose is also based on a real self defense w crutches video that my friend sent me (hiiii thank you for that once more btw <3)#so like hes very much in motion here. thats not how he usually stands w the crutches lol he usually like. uses them as crutches lol#the little trigger on them is what releases and returns the blade in them btw#also as for the rest of the group! i think neptune is absolutely the most fitting of his namesake out of all the guildmasters#i mean they all have aspects of it but he's fully embraced it. despite what i said abt him growing into responsibility and all#hes still such a chill nice guy. just in general. it would take a lot to get him angry (and if you did the sea is NOT peaceful!)#and in a lot of ways triton is like how he was when he was younger. responsibilities dont matter he needs to go to the challengers deep NOW#also the reason i picked twin sai to be his weapon is bc i didnt wanna do a trident twice. even tho like thats kind of the typical motif#but sai are like. also a 3 pronged weapon. so i felt it kept the energy. but smaller and 2 of them#omg speaking of weapons i completely accidentally added a trans flag to ariel's baton design lol. but i left it in why not#i had such a hard time w her colors bc i wanted her to be flashy but also to make the leotard mermaid esque#also for it to not be too revealing. like leda (from the lunar flare set) can have an exposing leotard tutu sure but shes an adult#and i wanted to give ariel more of like an 80s home gym workouts vibe. with the legwarmers and scrunchies lol#and the twins!!! i wanted to make them samey but differeny. in a way i havent done w matching outfits before#bc the actual shapes of the clothes are very different but the colors totally match!#plus the twins are fraternal. i feel like thats obvious what w their different hair colors but there are more subtle things#like slightly different eyes. the height and weight differences arent part of that tho bc that can happen to any twins even identical#otrera i also had a lot of fun with. especially the blonde hair in an emo bang with like a pink sporty outfit#the crown logo references her namesake being a queen too!#she really was fun tho bc shes just no nonsense trusts nothing but her gut. and shes meant to be like an MMA type#aitne was also super fun but a bit tricky to make it clear that their eye is half lidded from the burns and not just like a drawing mistake#but i think i made it clear! its important bc their vision is also impaired on that side#and the burns themselves were most likely an accident on their end. remember they're brash and destructive. even to themself!
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all this to say objectively speaking i know i should try to continue going to therapy but she can't see me outside of my work hours so it will be a whole process of asking my boss and maybe i actually won't be able to work full time bc of that and i. don't wanna. also even if i could go i'm not even sure it would do anything at this point because i'm so bad at talking about the things that are actually a problem and i KNOW i should work on that but seeing how the last few times went i'm not sure it's entirely my fault either
#like ok maybe the fact that i can't outright say 'i'm wondering if i'm depressed and i'm thinking about killing myself a lot' is on me BUT.#i did try to do the 'describe the symptoms without outright giving an explanatory label' thing and uh#idk when the only response i get to 'i have no energy no motivation it's getting harder to get up in the morning and#planning for the future fills me with so much dread to the point of being paralized and i just can't see myself in it. at all anymore' is#'i think you're afraid of growing up :)' it's a little bit. idk. sure i guess i don't wanna be an adult#but that's bc i don't wanna be alive in general. i think#idk. and the theory in itself is not really the problem it's her job to interpret things and sometimes she's wrong whatever#but for some reason the last two times felt really. if i contradict anything she brings up she sees it as me getting defensive#which probably only proves her point. IDK. maybe i'm paranoid maybe she IS right but i kinda hate the idea of#not getting my words taken at face value anymore. anyway. that was a lot of oversharing wow sorry
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uh cw fatphobia ig lol
me: i got a stationary bike
my partner's parents each time we've met since incl at the family gathering. also the entirety of my social feeds outside this app: OH YOU HATE YOUR BODY? I HATED MY BODY TOO OMG!! YOU WANNA LOSE WEIGHT? YOU WANNA B U R N F A T???? RECIPES TO SLIM DOWN! THIS ROUTINE GOT ME SHREDDED IN A MONTH! BECOME UNRECOGNISABLE! SHRINK GET SMALL FUCKING DISAPPEAR <3
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#tbf their mom has been much more businesslike abt it. probably bc it's her actual job#their dad has the most braindead take on it and immediately made it abt himself though lmfao#like...... no dude the fact that i wanna be more active and feel better and get stronger isn't an invitation#to go on a 30min long tirade on how you got fat directly & precisely bc you were depressed and directionless#& then made a bet w your ex that you'd look exactly like Will Smith In I Am Legend (???) in 6mo like#and have lived in a cycle of restriction vs excess and weight cycling and etc since#and have also used this experience as an excuse to assume shit abt people based on how they look#..........and I'm not even Fat-fat. i didn't grow up w the stigma and there's a strong likelihood#that the minute my lifestyle stops being absolutely completely sedentary im gonna drop a few kg and be done with it#i can't imagine dealing with this nonsense while trying to have a childhood#people can be so fucking gross abt others' bodies literally just shut up#ALSO!!! i'd much rather be in this situation than the shit i was living thru as a thin kid#whomst literally didn't get fed enough!!!!!#literally only grandmas would raise their eyebrows and try and get some food in there ( which isn't perfectly unproblematique but it comes-#from the impulse to NOURISH and they're so real for that goddamnit)#every other adult complimented me on my ability to overeat garbage at events and stay thin#like.......#have you considered i was actually literally being neglected and overate when there was available unrestricted food bc of that trauma? lol#lmao
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#I'm literally such an idiot#tag talk#I could have hung out with my friend and her siblings at any point last week I just had to ask#they literally live like fifteen minutes downtown from me and I have a standing invitation#anyway I went over last night after work and we hung out and made dinner and she and I kinda got into a friendly scuffle#long story short I finally won a wrestling match against her for the first time cause she always beat me when we were kids#we're gonna watch puss in boots last wish next week cause her siblings have been pushing to watch it and she's been resistant to it#so I took it upon myself to sell the movie to her.#she wasn't convinced by my thirsting after the wolf but our concerted efforts won out.#I try and not dominate conversations but I do end up talking so much about myself. I'm trying to get better at not just being about myself.#but it's cool cause their youngest sister is becoming a real adult and growing up and learning a lot about the world that she never got as#as a christian. so she's like 'I learned about some of the terrible things the US did' cause she's taking a world studies class this year.#anyway. we're planning a hike cause I still wanna do a sunrise hike over by the east-side on the edge where we've got good saguaro cactus.#I need to deliberately hang out with them more cause they're so very cool.#the middle sibling and I still are betting that the oldest one is some flavor of aroace and it's a running joke at this point.#I'm still resting on my laurels about being right about her being ND but I try to not be annoying about it#because people gotta find out on their own and I'm not about to be annoying or pushy about it.#but it is funny cause she's like “I like the IDEA of romance so I'm not aro” and we're just like 'riiiight sure okay'#anyway I'm no longer depressed thanks to the magic of friendship#just another loop on the NeverendingFord RollerCoaster of Emotion
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IF LORE UPDATES APPLIED TO PEOPLE I WOULDVE JUST GOTTEN ONE OF MY HAPPIEST LORE UPDATES TODAY
#FUCK YEAH WE GOT MY FIRST EVER MURAL LOOKING SICK AS SHIT SO FAR#TORTUGA AS BIG AS ME AND DETAILED ENOUGH THAT STRANGERS COMPLIMENTED IT MY BELOVED#HUGE SHOUTOUT TO THE GUY DRIVING BY THAT ROLLED DOWN THEIR WINDOW AND SHOUTED “dude that’s amazing!” AS THEY PASSED#CAME OUT AS TRANS TO MY AUNT THAT IM PAINTING THE MURAL FOR AND SHE IS NOW OFFICIALLY MY FIRST BLOOD RELATIVE TO BE SUPPORTIVE OF ME OUT TH#GATE#HER ONLY THINGS WERE THAT SHE WASNT GONNA BE PERFECT ABOUT MY PRONOUNS AND THAT SHE WISHED ID COME OUT TO HER SOONER SO I WOULDNT HAVE#GOTTEN ATTACHED TO A NAME THAT I DIDNT REALIZE WAS LINKED TO MY REALLY SHITTY BIO DAD AND WANTED TO COME UP WITH A GENDER NEUTRAL NICKNAME#FOR ME THAT WOULD WORK NO MATTER WHAT I IDENTIFY AS FROM HERE ON OUT AND WORKS AROUND PEOPLE IM NOT OUT TO#AND SHE GAVE ME A CHAMORRAN NICKNAME!!!! A SIDE OF MY HERITAGE THAT I DONT GET TO CONNECT TO A TON!!! SHES GONNA CALL ME TAKKA (WE MESSED#WITH THE SPELLING OF “TOCA” A BIT TO SOUND LIKE “TALK-A” SO WE CAN MAKE JOKES ABOUT HOW I TALK A LOT IT HAS BEEN SO FUCKING FUNNY SO FAR I#LOVE IT)#AND SHES GONNA TEACH ME HOW TO MAKE KELAGUEN (A CHAMORRAN DISH) SOMETIME#AND SHE GAVE ME AN OVERSIZED SHIRT THAT BASICALLY SAYS FUCK T-MOBILE#AND TOLD ME SHE LOVED ME NO MATTER WHAT AND TOLD ME THAT SHE LOVED HOW I PRIORITIZED KINDNESS ABOVE ALL ELSE AND I GOT TO TELL HER ABOUT HO#I THINK KINDNESS AND CRUELTY ARE TRAITS BEYOND GENDER AND SEXUALITY AND THAT I WANT TO BECOME THE ADULT I NEEDED AS A KID AND THAT I NEEDED#SOMEONE KIND THAT FREELY GAVE HUGS AND TOLD A LOT OF SILLY JOKES AND WAS FORGIVING WHEN IT COUNTED AND THAT WHEN I GROW OLD WHETHER IM AN#OLD MAN OR OLD WOMAN OR OLD SOMETHING ELSE I WANNA BE A GEEZER THAT LIVES ACROSS THE STREET THAT YOU CAN PLAY CARDS WITH ANYTIME AND#SAVES YOU CHOCOLATE BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU LIKE IT AND I WANNA BE THE TYPE OF KIND MAN LITTLE GIRLS GROW UP HOPING ARE REAL AND LABELS ARE#CLOTHES THAT SOMETIMES FIT A MONTH OR FIT FOREVER BUT WHAT MATTERS IS THAT THEYRE COMFY IN THE MOMENT AND THAT I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY AND I#LOVE PEOPLE FOR THEIR PERSONALITY AND IM WEIRD ABOUT KISSING BUT I HAVE MY PARTNERS BACK AND THAT MATTERS MORE TO US AND WERE HAPPY#AND I TOLD HER WHAT IM PLANNING ON MY NAME TO BE WHEN IM AN ADULT AND SHE LIKED MY IDEA FOR MY NEW SURNAME#AND WE SANG TO SONGS TOGETHER AND BITCHED ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND AND DID A LITTLE JIG IN THE STREET AND LAUGHED TOGETHER AND SHE WAS SO HAPPY#BECAUSE OF THE TURTLE IM PAINTING HER AND BECAUSE I TRUST HER AND IM SO HAPPY BECAUSE BOTH OF THOSE ARE WORKING OUT AND THIS EVENING WAS A#PERFECT SUMMER EVENING TO BE ALIVE. THIS MAY HAVE HAPPENED ON MY PERIOD BUT WHAT THE FUCK EVER THE GOOD OUTWEIGHS THE BAD. THERE IS BEAUTY#IN THE WORLD IF YOU KNOW WHERE TO LOOK. THERE IS BEAUTY IN BEING TRANS AND BEING SAFE WITH YOUR AUNT AND TALKING TO HER HONESTLY ABOUT YOUR#HOPES FOR THE FUTURE WITH YOUR BODY AND YOUR GENDER. THERE IS BEAUTY IN MAKING SILLY POSES WITH YOUR MURAL IN PROGRESS WITH YOUR AUNT AS TH#PHOTOGRAPHER. THERE IS BEAUTY IN LISTENING TO NOSTALGIC MUSIC WITH YOUR AUNT THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD PROBABLY MAKE FUN OF YOU FOR LIKING#THERE IS BEAUTY IN WEARING YOUR BANGS UP IN A STUPID PINEAPPLE PONYTAIL SO IT DOESNT FALL IN YOUR EYES AND WEARING CLOTHES YOU DONT CARE#ABOUT AND GRINNING AND LAUGHING AND SINGING MORE ENTHUSIASTICALLY AND GENUINELY THAN YOU HAVE IN A LONG TIME. THERE IS BEAUTY IN CLEANING#PAINT BRUSHES AND MEASURING CUPS IN HER KINDA BROKEN SINK AND MEOWING AT HER CAT AND THANKING HER FOR HELPING YOU CLEAN UP THE PAINTS SHE
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rehab day twenty seven
I’ve been promoted to advanced! primary treatment completed 👌
I’ve been all over the place emotionally again today, i started the day feeling chirpy and chatty, meditation was all about “inches in front of your face” and the childish members of the group (myself included) got the giggles and kept setting each other off. The CA Hospitals & Institutions share was really good actually (usually they’re really same-y - life in active addiction was hectic, they got clean with the help of the program and fellowship now they’re clean and sober life is much better) but I was rly sleepy and antisocial after we left the centre so had a 2 hr nap when we eventually got back to the house and felt functional again☺️ we met up with some of the other houses and had a BBQ karaoke sesh on the beach - me and flex parked our towels beside each other and just chatted the whole afternoon away, laughing and flirting in the sun just having a good time, I really think I like him and he’s got a good head on his shoulders, a positive attitude, cheeky sense of humour and the conversation just flows, I feel like I’ve known him ages and nothings really off limits; we chat about any and everything and it just feels good! We listened to music and sung along, some of the lads cooked burgers and sausages on the BBQs, was probably the best social thing I’ve done here so far, really was lush🫶✨ when the sun started to fade we went back to the house and ordered Chinese (paid for by the centre as our prize for being chosen as house of the week!) and had a bullshit, then me and flex facetimedfor a couple hours just chatting away about all sorts, and my housemate walked in (without knocking!!!) and literally screamed and couldn’t breathe from laughing so hard cos I was laid on my bed completely naked🙈 I’m never gonna live that down lmao (flex couldn’t see anything on the call, but my housemate did see my 🍑)
gratitude list, goals for tomorrow, bed x
#feeling good#for now hahaha#don’t wanna get too caught up in this crush cos we’ve both gotta focus on recovery but#I feel like we could be on to something really good#if nothing more I’ve made a friend :-)#oh I spoke to my mum about everything this morning too and I’m just having to accept it really#I knew life was going to be different when I left treatment so I gotta respect her choices wishes and boundaries#time to be an adult now#time to work on myself and grow as a person#addiction recovery
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i miss wearing menhera. i should get back into it.
#the bin#never got a chance to get many oieces cause i was a teenager when i was real into it before#i kinda ket go of it when i moved over to tumblr and had really bad experiences in the community. idk what its like now. that was years ago#i miss the amino i used to be in. it was really nice.#now that im an adult and i can buy and wear what i want tho i shoudo really get back into it#i probs wont get much into the tumblr community tho. idk whatbits like now but considering what a lot of other adjacent communities#are like for other styles ill probs mind my own business like i do with the other ones#i remember when i was trying to convince my mom to let me buy some medical themed jewelry from an etsy store and it had the tags#more menhera on it and she looked it up and came to me supwr concerned and i lied and said oh no no no im not into that style#thats just ankther style that usedbthese things but if u see here it also has tags fir these styles and those are the ones im into#and apparently she actually did believe me. i kinda assumed she didnt but i talked to her abt it more recently and apparently she did#i kinda wanna go back and read menhera chan. its a shame the creator sucks abt stuff but i do still like the character and aesthetic of it#but i wouldnt wanna give him money so id probs not buy anything not second hand. idk. the character used to really important to me#ask a very sad teenager. idk. i like menhera much more outside of that character tho.#hmm. well. add it to the list of styles i wanna grow my wardrobe for. i also miss drawing menhera art a lot. would love to get back into it
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DPxDC Healing Factor
Danny Fenton is a little shit, everyone knows that. Now, consider he is medically inaccurate, but on purpose, and it makes everyone question their life.
Because he has an accelerated healing factor. He is also a ghost and his bones are nonexistent half the time. He may look like a human, he may act like a human, but he is not really one, and he forgets about it sometimes. Or maybe he's just fucking with everyone.
So imagine he got caught up in a fight in Gotham, Crime Alley to be exact, and he fist fought some robbers or muggers or whoever. Then Red Hood comes to save the day, and when he asks this teenage scrawny boy who looks like he doesn't even know what taxes are, is he okay, Danny just
Spits a bloody clot on the floor, looks at it for a moment, and goes, "Oh. That's a tooth," with little to no emotion to it. Jason is now concerned because it kind of looks like the boy is concussed. But that's definitely a tooth on the floor, yes.
"Shouldn't you be more worried about it?"
Danny shrugs nonchalantly, "Why should I? It's gonna grow back."
"What?"
"You know how when you are a baby, your teeth fall out, and then you get new teeth? So since I lost one, a new one's gonna grow out," Danny explains, and Jason is not even sure what to say because, first, no, that's not how it works, and second, who the fuck doesn't know that at fifteen? Has this boy ever been to dentist?
"Kid, no, you only get two sets of teeth," he carefully tells him, "Baby teeth and adult teeth. That's it, no more teeth, you're not a shark."
Danny blinks at him slowly. Then, he reaches inside his mouth with his fingers, touches his teeth, and shrugs, "How come it's back already then?"
Before Jason can ask anything, the boy opens his mouth to reveal a perfect set of teeth. Nothing is missing. He looks back to the floor, and, yup, that's a tooth there.
But no teeth are missing.
What the fuck.
"Wanna keep it to offer to the tooth fairy? No one said she only takes your teeth," the boy asks him.
Later, Danny calls Jazz with a single purpose of telling her he is now a shark and hanging up on her.
#danny phantom#dc x dp#dpxdc#batfam#jason todd#danny fenton is a little shit#and he likes being one#cork writes#cork prompts
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Your brain is massive and your opinions are correct. I fucking LOVE SA2 and Shadow bro 😭 Last time I revisited my Sonic era I was trying to unlock training mode in Shadow by A-ranking all the missions and bosses. SA2/Shadow/Sonic Heroes/Sonic Riders were the ones I replayed (and still do every couple of years) the most :)
my god PLEAAASSE THE TRAINING/EXPERT MODE IN SHADOW i love how the hints just fuck off and are replaced by the cast chattin with shadow.... like black doom the fuck are you doin talkin to me you are dead.... leave me alone.....
as a part of my All-326-Routes playthrough of shadow im SO stoked to unlock that mode again for the first time in like. A Decade... i've just been clearing out all the routes from the very top all the way down but i might just A-rank all the levels and routes first just to get the mode..
the adventure games + shadow are my faves to play honestly like as much as i still do like sonic games nowadays i just really enjoyed that 3d free-roaming aspect of the gamecube era games (and even 06: just wish it wasnt such a glitchy mess and i was more of a fan of the models/art style)
PLUS WITH THE ADVENTURE GAMES YOU HAVE THE CHAOS LIKE WHY DID THEY GET RID OF THEM BRING THEM BACK !!!!! THEY WERE SO CUTE
#snap chats#you cant escape Sonic Kid era like every couple years ill be like#'oh my god i have a gamecube that still works' and ill just replay all them games#Hot Take i did enjoy big's campaign.... idk..... maybe its cause his vibes are immaculate .. im glad he's in frontiers <3<3<3#im actually really stoked for the coming months because my fam and i've had sonic heroes for years right#but we only have it for the original xbox and we lost THAT a long while ago so i can't play it and it's just been taunting me all this time#BUT THEN I REMEMBER i am an adult with adult money. Sometimes. i can just buy my own gamecube copy#i have to start shilling my commissions more on twitter since i wanna get it before i go back to school#yk. so i can be a responsible student and play it when i have down time LMAO BUT EEEE IM SO EXCITED#yk whats a game i miss sooooo much tho.... i lost my copy of sonic chronicles....#I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW LIKE I STILL HAVE THE CASE i might just buy a new game card then....#that does mean ill have to start all over but.. thats ok.. sonic chronicles was SOO fun to me growing up.. i miss shade so much..#gen one of my fave sonic characters she was so cool and i loved her design and helmet so much#SPEAAAAKING OF ONE OFF CHARACTERS I MISS YK WHO I MISS THE MOST THO gamma.....#gamma was what introduced me to sad character stories i SWEAR LIKE THAT SHIT MADE ME SO SAD#i miss him eveyr day like i know he can never come back and that's a good thing cause Birdie's Parents Are OK BUT STILLLLL#my baby..... at least omega's here.... and he can threaten eggman every five minutes......#but when youre playing SA2 and you have to fight the robots modeled after gamma THATS SO EVIL STOP#UGH i love gamma sorry... but im not.. gamma was like. sega dippin their te into existentialism in sonic...#and then shadow was born LMAO tho i guess you can count metal sonic too if we wanna look at the sonic movie from the like. 90's#GOD I HOPE I STILL HAVE THAT DVD SOMEWHERE I LOVED THAT MOVIE SO MUCH GROWING UP it has the CUTEST artstyle#and knuckles' lil hat... ALSO METAL SONIC DYING AT THE END STOP when he bats sonic's hand away... metal bb come back...#and i mean at least he does but yk..... be nice to him..... he's going through a lot... he won't express it but i know he is...#OK SONIC RAMBLE DONE I SWEAR THANK YOU FOR WRITING IN ANON AND LETTING ME BE A DWEEB I JUST LOVE SONIC RAAAH#i have to end my ramble fr im running out of tags... now we'll never know of my chao gardens.......#OK BYE BYEEEE
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i love these tags this person is so right
actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?
i wanna get into this actually
(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)
even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie
but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"
im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,
don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity
dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor
(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)
despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him
rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said
and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol
roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"
side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.
i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect
but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?
yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise
so, dave's environment
the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors
his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)
roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok
what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)
rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:
and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear
but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable
there two types of ironies at play here:
seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)
doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)
you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.
"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"
how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1
he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”
dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.
*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift
dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:
if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.
basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"
speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use
oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”
btw dave lalonde would look like this to me
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I am just thinking of poor Stan feeling like you're out of his league! He's so much older than you, he has a criminal record, and all he is is a con man. He just doesn't undertaker how you look at him with so much love and adoration.
A/n: STOP I WANNA CRY 😩, poor Stan
It was obvious to everyone that you were out of his league. Well everyone but Mable thought he was, the 12 year old growing rather fond of the moment you said you liked her sweater.
He could practically hear her voice ringing in his ear.
'Everyone deserves love Grunkle Stan!'
But you two were far from being similar, you were rich, some distant repetitive of the Northwest and he conned people out of money, soft saps like you. He hated you, well he should have but he couldn't. Not with how kind you were.
Stan's heart couldn't help but race a little bit faster whenever he see's you defend Mable, couldn't help but love how you went along with whatever the two ideas the twins had cooked up. He really doesn't know when he fell for you since he tried to deny it for so long.
Maybe it was that little giggle you did during that whole Summerween fiasco when he stole that shit from the store or it could have been how you were the first person to side with him against that snot nose brat Gideon. Though it didn't matter really because it's not like he was going to mention it! Ever!
Well it would have been the case until Mable caught wind of it, he swore she was part bloodhound since he thought he hid his feelings so well.
But...if she hadn't stepped in then he'd never realize that you'd felt the same way.
Now that was something he could not wrap his head around, he felt like he had a heart attack when he found out because why? Why would you? How could you love him?
Stan was older than he was, he knew he wasn't some model but you were out of his league. You were younger than he was and beautiful, god's you were beautiful. He didn't know why....how you could ever look up at him with such love, such adoration because in his mind he doesn't deserve it.
He doesn't deserve you. Yet you stayed by his side through it all.
Through all the weird shit when you could have ran for the hills like most people in his life but you stayed, you stayed and that was something nobody could ever take from him.
You weren't blind to the looks, deaf to the whispers when people saw you and Stan out and about but it didn't matter to you. You were an adult, an adult that happened to be in their late 30's so his age was never an issue to you.
Sure he conned people, you saw that shit happen with your own eyes but it was the little things that nobody saw.
It was his insecurities, Stan thinking he's never enough, always believing he's living in someone's shadow.
It was how protective he was of Mable and Dipper, that he would do everything to keep them safe.
Not to mention how he looked during that whole zombie catastrophe, you never thought you'd seen something hotter than that.
No one saw how gentle he was with you, how he'd do his best to make you laugh with his corny jokes when you were upset, how he'd hold you when you'd two sit together then again you didn't care because know matter how much they talked, know matter how much they looked you would always love Stanly Pines.
Hovering from the door frame near the kitchen, Mable couldn't help but feel giddy. You had fallen asleep against Stan's chest, the man's arm wrapped protectively around your waist as he muttered in his sleep.
"Another match done!"
"Are you talking to yourself again?"
"Dipper shhhh! You'll wake them!"
#drabbles#drabble#stanly pines#stanly pines x reader#stanly pines x you#stan#stan pines#stan pines x reader#stan pines x you#gravity falls#gravity falls x reader#gravity falls x you
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actually after i finish this set i wanna do a misc oc artdump to get a bunch of ideas out for characters ive already drawn. i decided. im posting this so i can hold myself to that lol
#who knows how long thatll take#but i for sure wanna draw:#young venus (morningstar) and maybe even the rest of the oldies way back when#timeskip mira and also probably saiph and polaris. and maybe al and bella huge maybe on them#ran and vela! theyre such an iconic duo to me now. pirate who ran away as a kid adopting their stowaway who was also running away lol#felis in her mission outfit (rather than the barmaid one thats her default now that shes suspended!)#oh also timeskip capella and alcor. Bro We Are Teens#god id love to draw timeskip team scarlet too. theyd be (mostly) adults! they grow up so fast when you timeskip them#but thats a lot of timeskip stuff i might save them for later#wanna draw bella enjoying some cake. place full of happiness ^_^#and also something of barnard and juno just like hanging out at the library or something#also wanna draw some of the girls out in some cute casual summer outfits. like normal fashion i mean#ahhh so many ideas so little time. idk if i can even do them all but i wannaaaaa#i might not even post them all all at once who knows
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here for revenge.
being lily's best friend - you grow up with her - you're in the donaldsons orbit for all your formative years. you develop a crush on art that turns into love as you grow older. your home life isn't so glamorous. you spend lots of weekends at the donaldsons. art has tucked you in. brought you snacks when you stayed up late for movie nights, making you and lily promise not to tell tashi. you were there when art and tashi got divored, held lilys hand and pretended not to be happy inside at the thought of getting closer to art.
lily gets into college - a big smart one because she has tashi's ambition and leaves you behind, you're still stuck at home because your dreams have always been smaller.
maybe its not appropriate, to still spend time with art. but he's lonely. tashi left, and now his daughter has and you're the only one left in his life that actually wants to be around him, that has always looked at him with stars in your eyes. its probably not healthy. there should be a boundary there. your lilies, not his.
but you like being around him and he likes having someone to take care of. you come over and he makes you eat something healthy and you needle him about spending all his time at home and how he should get out more, and he rolls his eyes, tells you he should be saying the same to you, you're young and beautiful and you should be dating around.
but how can you date around when art donaldson is your dream man? when you're happiest at his side, eating what he makes you. you want more though. you want to share his bed, warm it for him, you want to make him not so lonely, you want him to stop seeing you as a little girl and as the adult you've grown up to be - so you start wearing less and less around him. start acting more and more like a housewife.
art accepts it without even realizing. now you just need to find the right opportunity to pounce.
WHEW. this one is long so buckle up
“art?”
“mr donaldson.”
you roll your eyes.
“mr donaldson, how come you never started dating again?”
he chopped the lemon with a deft clunk, eyes never leaving the knife.
“never felt the urge.”
“what does that mean?”
“what i just said. never felt the need to.”
“hm.”
you sat on the island, next to the chopping board. your legs swung haphazardly, and you watched art as he chopped.
why was he playing this game? he could’ve told you to leave, to stop coming back and bothering him, that this was inappropriate. and yet. he didn’t even tell you to get your sorry butt off the counter, or some such dad-ism. the low glow of the many warm lamps that adorned such a luxurious house illuminated art so softly, he looked as young as the day lily was born. he was as fit as back then, if not meatier. he didn’t have the pouch your dad had, but the years had given him a thickness. instead of wasting away like most lean men did, he struggled to the other side. he got broader. layer upon layer of muscle encased in a thin finishing of fat. he was skinnier when you were a kid, but he had no reason to be lean now. under his chin a tiny hammock of pudge rested as his head tilted down, kissed by light stubble. his blonde hair was streaked in silver, but that somehow made him younger looking. made him glow. he had grown it out, by your suggestion. he was everything in the world a man should be.
“what about you?”
“i hate boys. they’re all stupid.”
“you got that right. you’re too good for all of them, never settle.”
“maybe it’s just boys my own age. theyre so immature.”
arts wide chest heaves. his eyes flick to you then flick back down. you see it all, and cross one leg over the other.
“maybe.”
“what were you like when you were my age?”
he laughs at the memory.
“stupid, immature, evil. if i was anything to go by you should swear off men entirely until menopause.”
air left your chest cavity.
“i don’t wanna wait. i want a fully formed one.”
you watched the muscles in arts forearms flex as he squeezed the lemon onto salad. the main course was cooking, was singing loudly on the stove. art had gotten into cooking after the divorce. it took all his attention and put it in one place, something complex and delicate and time consuming. it helped to clear his head. it wasn’t helping right this second.
“i shouldn’t say that,” he said curtly,”boys your age aren’t so bad. give them a go and quit hanging out with an old man.”
“but i like you, old man.”
art was so harsh on himself. he really wasn’t that old. and you really weren’t that young.
he pressed his lips together and kept squeezing. his pink lips, that gave his face the everlasting youth it held. he shrugged his shoulders in that way he did when he was confronted with the truth of your arrangement. there was something going on. something very, very, very wrong. you were the same age as his daughter. 3 months younger. he was the worst man in the world. the worst person to ever breathe. what could he do though? tell you to go? tell you to leave his house and never come back? what would become of you then? without him, what pillar of paternity would you rely upon? what new low would you reach? what men would you come across, and what would you do to please them? while he gingerly entertained you, you dangled something in front of his face that others would not have the restraint or morality to resist. if you had to move to another target, your next victim might not care so deeply for your wellbeing. were you not altogether safer, sitting in his kitchen, eating his caesar salad, rather than inhaling second hand cigarettes from old wrinkled fucks who might murder you, or worse-
“art?”
“mr donaldson.”
“you got a bunch of lemon pips in the salad.”
“oh.”
he set down the lemon.
“are you ok? you seem tense.”
“i’m good. are you cold? i can turn on the heating if you like.”
“no. it’s actually quite warm in here.”
he hears the zip of your hoodie and starts away from the island, under the pretence of getting a paper towel to deposit the lemon seeds on. your jumper clatters to the counter, and you watch his adam’s apple bob as he swallows. low cut top. he knows that’s what you’re wearing. because that’s all it’s been for the past 2 months. your mini skirt flowers around you as you sit, but when you stand each swish and sway of the fabric is a death sentence. god forbid you take the stairs for some ungodly reason.
“hey, you know what you said about never having the urge?”
oh, fuck off, he thought. fuck off. leave him be. leave him alone. release him.
“yes.”
“you can’t really mean that can you?”
“sure i can.”
“i mean, you can. but i don’t think you do.”
you twirled a strand of hair in between your fingers. your stomach grumbled, loud enough that he could hear. you were so hungry you could die, but if you ate what art was frying your breath would smell like fish all night.
“let me check the salmon.”
“i’m not that hungry. you can’t mean that you never had the urge to. everyone has urges.”
“well sure. but after tashi, i needed a breather. a grace period, if you will. you can’t go from marriage with a woman like her right into dating.”
“but it’s been 3 years. you must be over it by now?”
he ignored the hope in your voice. ignore, ignore, ignore.
“i am over it. but. women scare me.”
he walked languidly over the salmon. it was ready.
“i don’t scare you, i’m a woman.”
a woman. he turned off the stove, and turned to fix you with a stare for the first time tonight. a woman. that was not the word he would use to describe you. your eyes were the size of saucers, and you bat your lashes languidly, like you knew how much you were making him suffer. you sat up pin straight, and twisted your spine to make eye contact with him. your body. he tried not to look. tried not to look in front of you and see the twisted grin come across your lips. but he was a weak man. the weakest of men, and his eyes dragged over where a fatherly view should never cross. your perky new tits, the press and curve of your ass against the counter, the plush of your thighs. it seemed you had grown up overnight, and didn’t know you were still a baby. you’re a baby. you knew what you were doing to him. you knew. he blushed involuntarily.
“you scare me most of all.”
his voice trembled. he hadn’t meant to say that. hadn’t meant to dignify you will any response at all. it had crossed his mind and then it crossed his lips.
your eyes lit up with extreme delight. he liked to make you happy, but his stomach churned with the thought of why.
“why?”
he turned back around, and plated up your salmon, adding potatos and asparagus from the same pan, drizzling it all in the residual oil.
“why art?”
“mr donaldson.”
a twinge of irritation tickles your stomach. what was he fighting this for? you’re all grown up now. you both knew what was going to happen. he was resisting fate, the inevitable.
all your life you had known he was the man you were meant to be with. from that first time he kissed your forehead as you dozed off on the couch, thinking you were asleep. when his strong arms would carry both you and his daughter, flinging you around, threatening to dunk you in their backyard pool. when he would catch your eye in the rear view mirror as he drove you around and winked. he was so nice. so nice and brave and kind and warm, and if you had to be with any man it should be him because you’ve loved him since you were 8, and now you’re old enough to claim it. you’re not just a dumb kid with a crush. you love him. you understand it being one sided back then. but it isn’t anymore, and you wouldn’t let him deny it. with gliding footsteps you approached him, drawing closer every second he didn’t turn around. a hand rests on his shoulder blade.
“just stop,” you breathed after a pause.
his spatula clattered to the pan with a metallic thunk. you pull your hand away like he burnt you. he gripped the counter with a sigh and hung his head.
“you stop. stop it now,” his voice was stern. you felt yourself shrink. art was never stern.
“i know what you’re thinking, and it’s not going to happen. this has gone on far too long and it stops right now.”
a mere few paces from his wide curved back, you blink. the urge to touch him is overwhelming. you want to press your hand to his back, feel him under your palm and tell him you know he wants this. you know he wants this just as bad as you do.
but you don’t, because he’s angry at you, and he’s never been angry at you before.
“i’ve let you come here and cooked you food and watched movies with you because you’re a good kid. because i knew you as a kid and i know your problems with your father and i wanted to be there for you when lily is away. but you have taken this too far. you’re my daughters best friend. i have cleaned up your vomit twice, i baked you a cake for your 13th birthday- it’s not right. i’ve tried to be understanding, i’ve tried to ignore it, but you never drop it. never. your lack of self respect is staggering. you have to drop it right now or, im sorry but you can’t come back here anymore.”
every muscle fibre was clenched. if the counter top wasn’t marble it would’ve crunch and fell away under his grip. he couldn’t take it anymore. he didn’t know how much longer he could be good. didn’t know how much longer he could take resisting you.
maybe he was harsh. but it was the right thing to do. the only thing to do. he rested his elbow on the counter, and between his forefinger and his thumb held the bridge of his nose. he exhaled loudly. he hadn’t meant for it to come out that way, hadn’t planned it. but now it was out. he had stared the elephant in the room dead in its eyes. he felt lighter, somewhat liberated.
until he turned around after a few too many seconds of silence to see you turned away from him, slightly hunched over. he stepped closer, and saw your hands covering your mouth. you body jolted, and you drew in quick, grasping breaths. you were crying. he said your name, and you didn’t turn to look at him.
“i’m sorry. i’m sorry mr donaldson.”
all the relief he felt was replaced by swift, acute, crushing guilt. your hair fell over your face, shielding you from him. he said your name once more. you sniffed.
“hey, hey hey hey.”
against his better judgement, and because of the aching of his heart, he took you gently by the shoulders, and turned you to face him.
“i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.”
tears spill from your eyes and you wipe them away with a heavy hand, refusing to meet his eyes. his neck craned down to your eye level, his thumbs began tracing circle in your shoulders. a thoughtless gesture but one that made you cry even harder.
“i’m sorry. i don’t know what i was thinking. im just so sorry.”
“hey, it’s ok. it’s alright.”
“it’s not alright. i’ve ruined everything. i’ve made it- so- weird. i just thought that you- you wanted me. i’m so stupid.”
your mascara runs, painting your face with your turmoil.
how could you be so dense? you had been making him uncomfortable. he didn’t want you. the only reason he even let you hang around was obligation. because of what you meant to lily. you didn’t mean anything to him. you were just some kid. did he even think you’re pretty? you bet he didn’t.
worse than that, you had disappointed him. him. he was supposed to be everything your dad wasn’t. and now he was disappointed. you had failed. you had ruined everything. what even were you? were you even human?
“don’t. you’re not stupid. don’t say that.”
“i’m sorry. i just- i wanted to make you happy. that’s all i ever wanted. i wanted you to be happy with me. you were so- so- so crushed after the divorce, i-i just-“
he guides you over to the bar stool, and you let him. you sit across from each other. his hand touches your cheek, the other holds you shoulder still. the touch of his hand quietens your babbling, your eyes round and wet and open.
“you do make me happy.”
your lips parted, plump with crying.
“i do?”
he cringes at the hope in your voice, at the feeling in his chest that it stirs. the feeling in his whole body at touching, after so many years, your soft skin. the last time he held your face you were 8, crying over a bumped knee. he had very different feelings now than he did then. sympathy and concern had ebbed, making way for much darker, much more corrosive emotions. he felt guilt and want broil in the chambers of his stomach, and the evilness inside him told him how easy to would be to get what he wanted. how close he was.
“yes. you’re my favourite buddy, we have a great time together,” he ruffled your shoulder like you pat a dog, speaking quick to placate you.
the hope in your eyes dwindled.
“so,” you sniffled, “you don’t feel anything for me? you don’t-don’t want me at all?”
with your convulsive sobbing your chest rose and fell, and with each jolt you spilled further out of your thread bare top. he closed his eyes, and swallowed, adam’s apple bobbing. inhaling deeply, his fingers released your shoulder.
“it doesn’t matter what i want.”
“yes it does, it matters the most,” you answer immediately, tears gone from your eyes, now sliding down from your water line and down your cheek, “what do you want?”
what does art want? when was the last time he asked himself that question? years. at least. he drew away from you. you felt sick.
he turned on the stool, ducking his head and cradling his face in his hands
“i want…”
what the fuck was he saying? he couldn’t say this to you. he couldn’t. but he was.
“i… you’re a very gorgeous girl. you’re sweet. you’re smart. you’re funny. i like you very much.”
he said it like he was confessing to murder. elbow resting on his knee, his hand covered his eyes with splayed fingers. god, he was going to hell for this. even saying the words felt like the deepest sin imaginable, and he was sanitising his truth extensively. what he thought about at night, when you went home and his house became cold again, when he got into the shower and mechanically relieved himself into the drain, that was truly deplorable. when he touched himself, it was you he thought of. invariably. everything a man could possibly do to a girl, everything a girl could possibly do to a man, he had laid up in his bed and touched himself to with you in mind. ropes and ropes and ropes of cum in your honour, so gently splattered on shower walls and bedsheets he needed to wash anyway. sometimes he came on his torso, just to feel young and frivolous, like you were. and when he did his brain would turn back on, and he would feel so guilty that he would lay there to soak up his guilt, a punishment for himself from himself. so yes. he wanted you. he wanted you very, very badly. with every fibre of his being, he craved you. and with every fibre of his soul, he hated himself for it. but apparently he was still talking. what his morality urged him his mouth couldn’t hear, or wouldn’t obey.
“so don’t think you’re delusional. you had every reason to think i might reciprocate.”
you watched him, glossy eyes wide as ever. he peeked from beneath his fingers, immediately covering his eyes again when he saw you watch him. he shouldn’t have said that. he shouldn’t have. that was bad, it’s only giving you hope, and there is no hope. he can’t, he can’t. he want to so badly but he can’t. god, no he can’t. it would be so easy but easy isn’t right and how could he ever look his daughter in the eyes again if he did? how could he look at tashi?
“mr donaldson?”
“mm,” he replied miserably.
“kiss me.”
slowly, exhausted, he lifted up his head. mistake. now he was thinking about it as he looked at your face, puffy and damp and shining like a star.
why did he look so disgusted? what was so wrong with you? you couldn’t stop yourself from barreling ahead, feeling his premature rejection like a rock in your stomach.
“just once. then i’ll leave and i’ll never bother you and you won’t see me anymore and i’ll go to church and ill get a therapist, but just once.”
he looks so tired. so tired and so fucking good. his eyes smouldered with deep thought, the thought only a mature man can have. he was so mature. he was so much larger than you. he could hurt you if he wanted to. he could make you do anything but all he did was look at you so tired it made you squirm inside. as your sobs died in your throat, regret and embarrassment become indistinguishable from desire.
he blinked slowly, and opened his mouth. the white of his teeth glittered. his tongue pawed the inside of his cheek. he was thinking about it.
how could he be thinking about it? he was the worst person in the world. and yet. and yet. one kiss. he could control it with one kiss. one kiss wouldn’t hurt. one kiss. he had kissed your head before. your cheek. what was so different about this?
wordlessly, he moved off the stool. heart in your mouth you waited. a tremulous breath shuddered from your chest as he took one step. two steps. three steps. until he was stood above you. his face was unreadable. not cold. not warm. just looking, appraising from above his brown lower lashes, down his strong kissable nose.
“one kiss?”
his hand rose slowly, palm facing upwards. his finger tips grazed your jaw, your chin, tilting your head up. fireworks burst in your stomach, and you resisted the urge to moan.
“one. that’s all.”
one. that would be all. one kiss and he would put this silly fascination away for good. a kiss is deniable. a kiss is nothing.
he stoops down, can feel the nerves vibrating from your skin. his head tilts slightly, and your eyes lock as he descends to your level. his hand moves into your hair, a combing hold. and you kiss. no tongue. your lips connect, mush and expand over the others. his nose touched your cheek. your arms remained stiff by your side as they gripped the stool. you felt the pinkness of his lips, felt the edge of his cupids bow. and then he pulled away.
there. one kiss. he had done what he had to to get you to drop it. had fulfilled your criteria, and now you could move on. now he could move on.
but if that was true, why was he leaning in again? why did almost tasting your saliva, a substance he had thought about in great detail, make him hungrier for it? why was almost having it worse than never coming close? why did he pull gently on your hair, making your head tip back, opening you mouth so he could kiss the part of you he craved; the inside part? why was he hard if it was over?
his tongue flicked gently inside, asking permission. your mouths closed together, making the kiss noise you hate hearing but love making. they open quickly and in sequence. your hands rise up to gently hover over his chest, barely grazing his shirt. you didn’t want to touch him too hard in case he dissipated into a cloud of smoke, an illusion.
but he was very real, and under your timid girlish touch he was undone. a soft exhalation like a groan into your mouth, and his tongue protruded. it touched yours and you tasted the salt on it, shivering. his other hand fell back to your shoulder, gripping so hard it was like had no idea what he was doing. feeling your mouth against his was all that there was. there wasn’t right, there wasn’t wrong, there was only sensation.
all the want he had saved for solitary and depressing masturbation now burst through his veins, into his actions and he kissed you with all the passion in him. with everything he’s never said, with all the times he held back with you, with tashi. he kissed you like if he didn’t he would die, breathing and groaning and grunting involuntarily. he mashed his face to yours, crushing your lips, taking your bottom lip between his teeth before recapturing your mouth in a sloppy open mouthed kiss. it felt like steam evaporated from where your met, so hot and wet.
you didn’t know what was your and what was art, where you finished and art began. you meshed like the broken pieces of a vase slotted against each other. his tongue became so wild it clipped the side of your mouth in its frantic exploration, and you sighed.
ultimately it was you who had to pull away. you pulled your hands into your own chest, gasping for breath. he didn’t move an inch. he gripped your shoulder still, cradled your face the same. he opened his eyes, chest rising and falling graciously.
he surveyed you, still too high from your touch to feel guilt, with lazy eyes. he was so fucked. your eyes sparkled like glitter. your lips shined pearly with his spit. his.
“art?”
“yes?”
“it’s not just one kiss is it?”
despite himself, despite everything, he smiled.
“no. i don’t think it is.”
#oh i had FUN with this one#not proofread#challengers#art donaldson#art donaldson smut#challengers smut#challengers x reader#poppy 🥰🥰#art donaldson x reader#art donaldson x reader smut#older man younger woman#30s art donaldson#30s art donaldson x reader#challengers x reader smut
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no more ace to play [mamma mia part two] | formula one social media au
drivers: sebastian vettel, fernando alonso and jenson button
the investigation was fruitful but now y/n has a handful of drivers and a bucket load of criticism
general note: i answered an ask about this but i thought i'd reiterate here, this is a no wives or kids au, so seb and jenson's wives and kids do not exist in this !! thank you so much for all the lovely feedback on the last part, hopefully i remembered to tag everyone who asked x
part one | masterlist | ko-fi
yourusername
liked by sebastianvettel, jensonbutton and 1.405,605 others
tagged: fernandoalo_oficial, sebastianvettel, jensonbutton
yourusername: so i guess it's kinda real now and they're all lovely x
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user4: i know the bitter old people are going to find this now but i for one think it's fucking ICONIC
user5: the guys are way too chill for the situation
user6: they've not said anything, so how would you know?
user5: idk reeks of babytrapping
user7: be for real y/n doesn't need to baby trap anyone she has her own career?
yourbff: debrief needed STAT
yourusername: literally on my way to yours right now get the non-alcoholic wine READY
landonorris: do i like get a prize for my hand in this?
yourusername: here's a gold star ⭐️
landonorris: i was hoping for some monetary rewards
yourusername: ur literally a millionaire ?
landonorris: and?
user8: are any of them gonna like comment or?
user9: very odd considering they wouldn't shut THE FUCK UP on their own posts
user10: for real they were very proud of their 'accomplishments' but now it's the consequences of their actions and theyre silent ?
user11: have yall considered the fact that finding out you might be a dad is a bit of a shock, let them all process it?
jensonbutton
liked by lewishamilton, sebastianvettel and 302,889 others
jensonbutton: back to see the old rides
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user12: SPILL JENSON PLEASE
user13: so like what team is this kid going to support they've got so much to choose from?
user14: if they have any taste, ferrari 💅
user15: i mean their momma clearly has taste so ....
oscarpiastri: nice to meet you jenson!
jensonbutton: by how much mark talks about you i could've sworn i'd already met you
aussiegrit: bold of you to send shots my way considering your current predicament
user16: mark saying this like they aren't lucky to be with y/n ?
user17: bro we all saw that you met up with y/n and the baby daddy squad... wanna maybe share some thoughts?
user18: why would he want to publicise that he got with a slag?
user17: i know you're not calling y/n a slag when we're talking about f1 playboy JENSON BUTTON ?
user19: i have complete faith that this mamma mia summer WILL have a good ending but i NEED these men to maybe actually talk about it so people aren't just out here coming for y/n ?
yourusername
liked by fernandoalo_oficial, jensonbutton and 1,209,677 others
yourusername: got myself a sweet treat and did some meditation (i.e. listening to asmr roleplay) because life is crazy and morning sickness is a bitch
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user24: not to be sappy but i am emotional watching y/n go through this, she's been on the internet for so long i feel like i've watched her grow up, idk anything about f1 but i hope they're good for her
yourbff: gosh who knew you getting pregnant would lead to us having to go to the bakery every single morning
yourusername: but but but they have such good croissants and SHUSH I BUY YOU YOURS EVERYDAY
yourbff: i know you're like my sugar mama, please still buy me pastries when you have your actual child
user25: i think we're all being a wee bit dramatic about the whole "they haven't said anything" business. yes, they probably should say they're fine with it so people stop accusing y/n of baby trapping them but ALSO we don't know what they do everyday, maybe we should just let the adults go about their business
charles_leclerc: i am basically seb's kid so i shall be a character witness: that man is an ANGEL and believe me that took a lot for me to say in public lol
yourusername: why thank you charles, i have heard a lot about you. in fact on his "provisional dad cv", sebastian directly named you, some guys called max verstappen, mick schumacher and lance stroll as fatherly experience
maxverstappen1: LOL I KNEW SEB LOVED ME BUT WTF IS A DAD CV
sebastianvettel: this is a serious matter and i wanted to show that i'm serious about fatherhood
mickschumacher: soz max, charles and lance i think WE all know who his favourite is
lancestroll: i'm just happy to be recognised tbf
yourusername: well i kinda hope this real child will be his favourite...
charles_leclerc: boring 🥱
alexalbon: well i'm gonna nominate myself as jenson's grid kid and woah that guy is great 👍
jensonbutton: sounds kinda sarcastic but thanks for the effort alex
carlossainz55: seeing as we're all here i'll say that nando is the best grid dad sorry not sorry
yourusername: you're all here but idk who you people are ?
fernandoalo_oficial: chilli have i ever told you how proud i am of you?
stoffelvandoorne: do i mean nothing to you old man
user26: wtf is going on here
fernandoalo_oficial
liked by yourusername, sebastianvettel and 1,403,677 others
fernandoalo_oficial: what a race! thankful to finally be back on the podium this weekend and i'd like to dedicate this race to the soon-to-be new addition and my new family, here's to our future ❤️
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user27: HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO CUTE
user28: i'm sorry the THUMB IN THE MOUTH CELEBRATION ARE YOU KIDDING?
jensonbutton: proud of you, come home quick x
user29: i'm sooooo chill about this
fernandoalo_oficial: i'll make sure to tell the team that THE jenson button wants the meeting to go faster
sebastianvettel: do i mean nothing? that's literally my old team name drop ME
yourusername: just tell them i've gone into labour
fernandoalo_oficial: you've not even been pregnant two months yet...
yourusername: they don't know that
astonmartinf1: this is a public instagram comment section...
maxverstappen1: maybe when the little one is actually here i'll let you win for once
fernandoalo_oficial: how kind of you?
maxverstappen1: i need the little one to know that at least one of you is cool and that i should be their favourite god father
lewishamilton: now that is a bold assumption
danielricciardo: i have been quiet on this topic but if anyone is prime god father material YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM
yourusername: you'll all receive an email and a god father application in the coming weeks
charles_leclerc: is this another seb idea?
yourusername: maybe... but idk yall so i think it's a good idea
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, mickschumacher and 1,509,874 others
tagged: jensonbutton, fernandoalo_oficial, sebastianvettel
yourusername: welcome to the crazy house
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user33: so we've confirmed the poly? yes or no?
user34: i'm gonna say yes but with them you literally never know
georgerussell63: so we all sent them a jellycat?
alexalbon: speak for yourself george that sick ass rocking bunny is all albon
user35: not to be weird but this kids is literally going to have the hottest parents of all time
user36: no cause if i'm a teacher and all of them walk in for parent's evening i'm passing out
jensonbutton: oh wow what a lovely crib i wonder who put that together
fernandoalo_oficial: don't you dare take all the credit
sebastianvettel: as if anyone other than the WOOD WORK KING put that together
yourusername: guys they are lying the delivery guy put it together and they all stood around watching like dads at the airport
jensonbutton: "like dads" so still getting the experience in
danielricciardo: so who is responsible for this grandpa ass nursery aesthetic?
yourusername: well this is awkward i thought it was cute
fernandoalo_oficial: it is don't worry honey, it matches seb's overall grandpa aesthetic
sebastianvettel: you guys agreed to move to mine don't switch up on my aesthetic now
jensonbutton: oh seb we all love your certain affinity for tartan and plaid
sebastianvettel: i'm not feeling this love right now :(
yourusername: cuddle pile incoming
note: ahhh okay this was very highly requested so i hope it met expectations. i'm thinking this could defo be a longer series (i am also working on into the arms of another dw) following the whole family if yall would like that? i'm gonna try and tag everyone who requested that, i am sorry if i missed anyone x
taglist: @boiohboii @vellicora @faithm120601 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @luv4kani @minkyungseokie @eugene-emt-roe @magical-spit @ironmaiden1313 @jaydaaasworld @whoreks @rainerax @nonsensical-nonsence @laneyspaulding19 @chelseyyouraverageluigi @lxclerc @gemofthenight @woweewoowa
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#sebastian vettel instagram au#sebastian vettel x reader#sebastian vettel#sebastian vettel imagine#sebastian vettel x you#fernando alonso instagram au#fernando alonso x reader#fernando alonso imagine#fernando alonso#jenson button instagram au#jenson button x reader#jenson button imagine#mamma mia au#astonmartinii
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