#i walk on eggshells around her now more than i speak genuinely

[maj0rmayhem]

It's almost 5am and I miss my dad. Not the man he is but who he could've been. Should've been. Who I thought he was when I was younger.

[allouttaink]

. ݁₊ ݁˖ . let me make it up to you . ݁₊ ⊹ .˖ .

this is a superbat fic based on season 2 episode 2 of the 2000 series “Justice League”. ◡̈

They fight.. make up… and then make out. NSFW!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

“That’s the last time I ever let you be in charge of any important decision.” Batman spat at Superman, sending him reeling him forwards with a shove.

Superman staggered but easily caught his footing.

S: “You don’t know what it’s like Batman. You don’t know what Darkseid did to me, to my family, to my planet.”

B: “Were you even thinking? Logic is essential in these situations, what the hell could’ve prompted you to endanger everyone else’s lives? You’re getting sloppy Superman.”

Superman approached him with large and steady footsteps, grabbing him by the collar of his suit and lifting him off the ground, meeting him eye to eye. His voice shook as he tried to maintain his last shred of self control.

S: “Logic isn’t everything Batman. Some days, I feel like I have more humanity than you could ever.”

He released his grip on Batman’s suit when he started to hear a piece of mesh fabric tear. He ran his hand through his now tousled hair and opened the hangar.

Before flying out, he looked over his shoulder.

S: "You know... you aren't always right."

Superman was too headstrong for his own good sometimes, but he seemed genuinely affected by what Batman had said. It was a momentary analysis Batman made, but he couldn't retort because by the time he'd blinked Superman was already gone.

He adjusted his cowl and huffed bitterly, flicking off a piece of meteorite debris from his shoulder. Un-fucking-believable. He drags himself to the main foyer where the rest of the JL was waiting.

W: "Great Hera... are you both alright? Where's Superman?"

B: "Tsk, we're both fine."

Everyone looked around the room and shared confused glances. They checked it off as Batman being hurt or annoyed that the mission didn't go according to plan. In times like these they knew it was better not to pry, especially when the Bat's ego was at stake.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

When there weren't petty crimes to stop, the league would relax at the watch tower. It'd been a week since Batman and Superman's little disagreement, but it felt like it'd been dragging on for months. Both parties were irritated and the entirety of the team felt like they were walking on eggshells around them. There had been numerous incidents where Batman would walk into a room and Superman would stop his current conversation to excuse himself.

A few days later, the league had been searching for an Arkham escapee. There was an uncomfortable tension lingering in the air as they were determining the best way to catch the convict.

GL: "I say we split up, I'll go with Hawkgirl. Diana, take Flash. Jonn, you should be able to cover more than enough ground on your own. That leaves.. Superman and Batman."

S: "I think it'd be best if we went separately."

Things simultaneously clicked, and the source of the tension was now understood. The JL looked around, unsure of what to say. Flash leaned against a streetlight, whistling and avoiding eye contact with the two. Wonder Woman finally decided to speak up, scoffing as she approached them.

W: "You better squash whatever it is going on between the two of you. People's lives are at stake in case you forgot."

GL: "..Maybe it'd be best if we changed the pairings. I wouldn't mind going with Super–"

W: "No, we have a job to do, and teams will stay as they are. You'll both patrol the outskirts of the city. The longer we wait this out the more room there is for disaster. I don't want to hear it from either of you."

Wonder Woman crossed her arms and made sure they both left together. Batman's expression was unreadable and the only way you could measure Superman's annoyance was by the slight furrow in his brows.

When they were gone, Wonder Woman addressed the rest of the team.

W: "Hera help us.. at least if they fight it'll make for easy damage control."

Hawkgirl chuckled as she spun her mace.

H: "Smart."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Superman flew ahead of Batman, leaving the city lights behind as they entered the outskirts. Surrounded by dense foliage he sighed.

If there was someone here, it'd take forever to find them, no matter how good his x-ray vision was.

When Batman caught up to him, he didn't make his presence known. He stared at his back for a few minutes, contemplating what he wanted to say.

B: "Superma–"

S: "Don't."

B: "Can we-"

Superman cut him off once more, already frustrated with the grueling task of creating an opening into the forest.

S: "This isn't the place for that. Just help me clear out these branches so we can do our job," he managed to grit out.

Batman rolled his eyes before grabbing a blade from his utility belt. He made easy work of reducing the surrounding greenery to shreds.

B: "Now can we talk?"

Superman walked past him with an intentional shove to his shoulder. Every man had his limits, and Batman had just about reached his. He took Superman by the back of his shoulder and reeled him around, pressing a finger into the center of his chest.

B: "Enough of this petty bullshit, you're being unreasonable."

Superman's eyes snapped down to meet Batman's through his cowl. He shoved him backward, knocking the wind out of him as his back pressed against a tree. With one hand he held Batman's neck, using the other to force him to look up at him.

S: "I'm unreasonable? Where'd this attitude come from? What were your words a few days ago... I'm getting sloppy?"

He leaned in closer to the other man's face, who breathed heavily against him.

S: "Don't be a hypocrite Batman, it's not in your character."

B: "Yeah?" He hissed.

Batman's gaze moved to Superman's lips, then back up to his eyes.

B: "Do you want this?" (<- You ALWAYS ask for consent.)

S: "Fuck you."

Superman's lips locked onto his in a bruising kiss. He nipped at his lower lip, drawing blood as Batman granted him access to the rest of his mouth. The metallic taste mixed with their saliva as he hummed into the kiss. He moved his knee in-between Superman's thighs, causing the other to start rutting against him.

S: "Mm... hahh.. fuck you..," he grunted, burying his face in the crook of the other mans neck. Batman moved his hand down, palming his erection.

B: "'Wanna make it up to you, wanted to.. apologize."

Superman still had his hand wrapped around his neck, but the pressure felt so nice he didn't want him to stop. He was so lightheaded that when Superman flipped him around, even his cheek pressing into the bark felt good. He arched against Superman’s bulge, begging him to do something.

B: “Please… I need it.. need you..” He wasn’t one to beg, but who’d hear him in this desolate place?

From behind, Superman shoved two fingers into his mouth, inhaling sharply at the lewd way Batman was sucking on them.

S: “This all I have to do to get you to behave?” He chuckled.

Superman withdrew his fingers and made quick work of tearing the bottom of Batman’s suit. He hastily lifted Batman’s hips as he entered two fingers. Batman hissed at the sudden stretch, but after a few minutes his eyes were rolling to the back of his head.

B: “Super…man… pleashehh..” He slurred.

S: “If you’re that touch starved you just had to say so.”

In one fell swoop Superman entered him, bottoming out. With one hand on the small of his back and the other gripping his hip with bruising strength, he began thrusting into the other male. Batman was a personal fan of this method of stress relief.

B: “Yo…u…shitll.. mad?” He said between thrusts, struggling to catch his breath.

S: “Mm.. no.. shit, don’t.. do.. that.. again.”

A few minutes later Superman could no longer ignore the burning heat in his core. As he moved to pull out he felt two hands grab at his.

B: “Inside.”

Superman’s breathing picked up and he finished inside him with a growl in his ear. He kissed down the others neck, wrapping his hand around his dick. When Batman finished, his vision turned white momentarily and his legs went weak. Superman held him up and turned him back around to kiss him. There was something different about this one, it was sweet and passionate, evident that the bitterness from an hour ago had dissipated.

As Superman allowed him to catch his breath, he wiped the sweat off the bottom half of his face, taking a moment to appreciate his dazed expression.

B: “I really am sorry.” His voice came out more hoarse than expected.

S: “I’m sorry I had to take you here. I’m not one for quickies. I’ll make it up to you on a real bed, yeah?” He kissed his jaw.

It definitely seemed like Batman was forgiven.

[bellestarot]

Chaeyoung's Reading

January 11, 2025

Right Now

She’s feeling a bit dissatisfied with how her family dynamics are right now. She senses that things aren’t the same as they used to be, which has left her somewhat disappointed in her family. She’s been working a lot—actually, she’s working at this very moment. She might be traveling to a faraway country soon, but even when she does, she feels somewhat empty. While she travels and works hard, she often feels like she doesn’t really have a personal life. She struggles with her own sense of identity.

She’s been spending time with two older men and feels a bit uneasy around them. She feels like she needs to show more of herself and raise her voice to be heard by them.

Love Life

Her heart is broken right now. She and her partner are going through a separation. She feels it’s necessary because their relationship has become very unhealthy.

She feels deeply betrayed and hurt. She’s trying to get it off her mind by traveling and discovering new places, but she’s in a bad place emotionally. She feels deceived and extremely angry. It seems her partner doesn’t have the courage to speak to her right now.

She discovered something shocking through a text or phone call and feels like she’s been lied to and played for a fool for a long time.

She’s dealing with a lot of anxiety but believes things will eventually balance out. Her spirituality is strong, but she’s disappointed because she once saw her partner as the best friend she could ever have. Something serious happened that damaged their relationship.

Career

At work, there’s a man she doesn’t trust. She believes he’s toxic and that his ideas or suggestions could harm the idol's image. She sees him as dangerous in some way.

She’s excited about traveling and exploring new places. Her group might be preparing for a tour or show in another country, and she’s eager to go.

However, she doesn’t realize that her group faces issues of disrespect and injustice from the company. She’s more focused on spending money and having fun than addressing these deeper problems, possibly not noticing that the company might be exploiting them to some extent.

Family

She feels her family sometimes behaves unethically, though she tries not to judge them. She attempts to move forward but holds some critical thoughts about them. She supports her family financially and they seems to be waiting for a transfer.

She’s close to a younger man in her family or someone around her age. However, she feels like she’s walking on eggshells with a younger woman in her family, even though they’re also close.

Friendships

She has some male friends, but she doesn’t fully trust them. She thinks some of them are fake or behave suspiciously.

One of these friends has feelings for her, but she’s made it clear they’re only friends. Despite this, he keeps insisting, and she’s had to reinforce that she won’t get involved with him.

She feels somewhat lonely, to be honest. She misses the friendships she had last year and feels those bonds were more genuine than the ones she has now. She deeply misses people and friendships from her past.

Future

She’s going to mature a lot. She’ll notice her personal growth and go through a significant period of isolation, closing herself off from people in general. During this time, she’ll likely become interested in philosophy, psychology, and areas that study human behavior.

She’ll be very happy and hopeful about a project at work or possibly a solo endeavor that will be a huge success. She’ll collaborate with many people to make it happen, but she might feel a bit disheartened if the financial outcome isn’t what she had imagined.

As for her relationship, I don’t think they’ll break up, but things will change. Her partner will have to work hard to win her back and make the relationship work again.

Advice

"Simply judge well to act well, and strive to judge as best as we can so that we may also do our best."

— René Descartes

[sincerely-sofie]

im now imagining a situation where Ark is only pretending to have amnesia (partly out of fear because HE CURSED TWIG HOW IS SHE ALIVE) in hopes that Twig just Leaves Him Alone, but is so starved for any sort of affection that he stays

the kicker is that Ark accidentally lets slip that he doesn't, in fact, have amnesia. (for example, letting slip that he gave Twig that scar/curse) but they're both such bundles of anxiety that neither one is willing to admit it out of an odd mix of guilt/fear/genuine friendship and not wanting to ruin what they have going on despite how bad they are spiraling because of it

everyone is aware of their masquerade, but neither one of them is willing to admit to it and take off their masks, no matter how many cracks there are, because they have no idea what to do with themselves without it.

Oh my word. Maple-Cloak, your BRAIN. Genuinely kinda wish this was the premise I gave The Present is a Gift because there is SO MUCH POTENTIAL HERE.

The idea of dancing around the issue when they both know the other person knows they know the truth, but the reluctance to speak it into existence because then they’d have to deal with the reality of their situation. They’re playing an elaborate game of pretend and they both refuse to let real life into the equation. It’s so much easier to ignore the past than to admit that I hurt you because I had been hurt by someone who should have been my advocate or Your actions changed me irreparably and an explanation doesn’t make that pain go away. They both are so scared the bubble’s going to burst. They’re walking on eggshells that neither party intended and it just progresses until they both combust in an explosive outburst of sleep deprivation, unexpected authenticity, and a mutual desperation for companionship.

Ark also wouldn’t have Celebi advocating for him in this because she wouldn’t see a factory reset Legend when they meet, and would still perceive him as a threat to her and her friends. It would be Twig standing up for him on her own, and that would really drive home the fact that Twig really isn’t the thorn in his side that Ark has always seen her as— at least when he’s not opposite to her on a battlefield. All of a sudden her stubbornness and refusal to back down from something she sets her mind to is something admirable rather than infuriating.

Twig, meanwhile, would be way more okay with the situation once she knew Darkrai had remembered all along. The source of anxiety for her in this alternate storyline wouldn’t be when Darkrai remembers, it would be why he hasn’t done anything despite remembering. What changed??? Why wouldn’t he take advantage of her guard being down??? Why would he lie about being an amnesiac in the first place??? What is going on in this guy’s head??? Meanwhile Ark’s POV is just him screaming internally at all times.

They’re just that one shipping dynamic meme. I’m legit fighting off the urge to start an AU of my AU to write this out. Oh My Word.

(Original ship dynamic image under the cut— if anyone knows the source, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I’ve been searching for the original creator for ages and would love to credit them!!)

[xshatteredreflectionsx]

“I think I might be as old as you now. Maybe even older.”

Morgan’s “voice” echoed in Yvonne’s ears, giving her momentary pause as she continued to oversee the construction of the colony.  They were still too tired to Front, hovering groggily near the surface. “Not literally, ‘cause of timeloops and all that. But emotionally. Soulfully? One of those two.”

Yvonne hummed and flicked through another report that had been sent to her datapad. She had gotten quite accustomed to the technology of this era, if she did say so herself. At the very least she didn’t “peck at the screen like a granny”. An outsider looking in probably wouldn’t notice unless they really examined Yvonne’s body language; the way she squinted at the screen sometimes, or how her hand would hover awkwardly over buttons and touchpads while she tried to remember what did what. She walked on eggshells around the terminal on the ship, but could anyone blame her? In the wormhole, it ignited if someone looked at it wrong.  

“Maybe.” Yvonne replied after a moment. Neither of them knew how old Morgan had been when they died in the timelines where they lived on those parallel colonies; anywhere between fifty to ninty. In at least one timeline, they had been kept alive for centuries due to the machinations of a tyrannical lunatic.  Yvonne couldn’t help the icy sting of pity piercing her gut as the realization settled in.  One hundred and twenty-four years as of their last birthday had felt too long to her. But it was far too late for her to pass on. The tangled, gnarled mess she had made of her’s and Morgan’s souls when she had still been bitter and angry and half-mad had seen to that.  Her rest would probably not come until Actor -wherever he was skulking about- finally got tired of this façade.  “Why bring it up?”

“Cause I need to tell someone. If I told any of the crew: ‘hey, I’m actually old as fuck because of timey-whimey bullshit’, they’ll think I’ve gone crazy. I don’t know how much they remember, and honestly I hope they don’t remember everything.” Their voice lowered, heavy with remorse and lifetimes of grief. “It’s better for everyone if I’m the only one who does.” 

“You do not wear martyrdom well,” Yvonne said. She could almost feel Morgan recoil, retreating that much deeper into their inner world. “In any case, it is not as though you are the only one to blame. I know you are fond of him, but your Head Engineer made just as many mistakes as we did. Perhaps even more egregiously- and before you say it: No. I am not just saying that because he has more than a passing resemblance to the Mark I knew.” Yvonne let out a breath through her nose and ran a hand over her hair, attempting to coax a few loose curls back into place. It didn’t stay for very long, and fell back against her forehead as if to spite her. 

Morgan was silent for a long period of time- so long Yvonne speculated that they had fully withdrawn into their inner world, wrapping themself in the bliss of “slumber” like a blanket on a cold night.  Yvonne went back to work. If the Head Engineer noticed her being particularly curt with him, he did well to mask it (a flicker of remorse and guilt. A flash of genuine hurt before he swallowed it down and replaced with with a porcelain mask of professionalism. Yvonne knew her bias would never allow her to speak to him; that was for Morgan to do.) 

“You said ‘we’ earlier.” Morgan piped up after a few hours of silence. By this point the work day had been completed. Yvonne snapped the uniform jacket crisply on the clothes hanger.  

“I do not know. In time, mayhaps. When we can start learning how to forgive ourselves.” 

“...What do you think I did when I was Fronting? I made my fair share of bad decisions. Choices that antagonized your friends, made things harder for us and got people killed. I will carry that weight with me forever.” 

“Will it ever go away?”

Morgan was silent again, contemplative. Yvonne settled into bed, pushing aside two of the three overstuffed pillows. She turned to look outside the small window in Morgan’s quarters. This world two moons looking over it, sharing a space in the sky and glowing gently against an expanse of a thousand, thousand glittering stars. It was poetic in a way she could not quite put her finger on, but it felt significant somehow.  Ruminations for another day, mayhaps. 

[tharros-auris-black-asimi]

Lay All your Love on Me (Chapter 8) (Part 2)

Paring: Dark Soft Alpha Lee Bodecker x Female Omega Reader

Summary: After moving to Knockemstiff, Ohio with your troubled parents, you find solace in the local Seven-Eleven. There, you bump into the Alpha sheriff, Lee Bodecker.

And then you keep bumping into him. There’s just something about the chubby Alpha that keeps drawing you in. Now there’s something going on with the new preacher of the church that you attend. Everything’s a mess.

But you’re an unbonded Omega. Life can turn to shit anyway.

Chapter Warnings: This chapter includes more possessive behavior from our Alpha Daddy. Maybe some stalking too? Just a little bit of smut in this one. Some vaginal fingering. As well as some fluff and a marriage proposal from Lee. Not officially, that'll be in a later chapter, but they do discuss marriage. There are death threats and gun violence from our Omega Reader. And we can count the dead body in this chapter, lol. Talk of unplanned pregnancy and rape in this one.

Additional Notes: Part two was a lot longer than I thought it was, and I didn't want to cram it all in one single chapter, because there was just so much going on that I didn't want to confuse anyone. So, that's why I had to split it in half. So this is the second half! Much longer than part one, lol. Please refer to the chapter warnings before proceeding, and minors, DNI.

Word Count: 7,262

The familiar dinging of the Seven-Eleven brought you back.

Back to the first time you had met Lee.

Officially.

A warm feeling rushed through you. Almost like you were giddy. A pep in your step as you showed Sandy to the way of the lovely drinks of heaven, aka slushies.

There was familiar music playing.

You even said hello to the cashier up at the front when you had come in.

The linoleum aisles really brought you back.

You had so many happy memories with Lee here.

It made you feel so warm.

Your Omega was delighted to be back at a place she was familiar with. This place… she knew this place. She spent time with her Alpha here. Memories of you and Lee came back.

Plop. Plop. Plop.

“Okay… so you can choose whatever flavor ya want. They got cherry, Lee really likes that one, blueberry, and grape. I like to get cherry and blueberry. Mix em together. Tastes and looks nice.”

Nods came from Sandy. She watched as you filled up Lee’s cup with the cherry, happily humming a tune under your breath. Then you did yours. Mixing the red and blue together with your straw, before you plopped the correct lids on.

Click. Click.

The sounds of you sticking the straws in made Sandy come back. You were smiling, even as you took a small sip of your mixed slushie.

A slow smile stretched onto her face.

“Okay… I think I get it now. Any flavor, you said?” She questioned you.

“Mhmmm… any flavor.” came your response.

Sandy’s gaze turned to the grape flavor.

A full smile spread onto her face.

“… What do you mean, we’re leavin’ early?”

You were blinking. Your mother just let out a sigh. You looked so confused.

Laying on the big folding chairs in the backyard of Lee’s home, wearing nothing but a tank top and shorts underneath your bikini top and bottoms.

Because of the fucking creep in your house. You wanted to avoid him, and be cautious if he was looking at you from the windows.

“… Emma called again. After lunch. Lee gave me the phone, and she explained to me the issue with Lenora. So I told her we’d be going early. Is that okay?”

Was it okay?

Was it okay?

You shifted your body, so you could be laying on your side. Your fingers tapped against the folding chair when you answered your mother.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

“I’m not sure if I’m okay with leaving Lee and his sister with that freak inside the house, mama.”

Said freak being your technical brother-in-law.

It wasn’t like you were married to Lee or anything. But the thought made butterflies erupt in your stomach. Made you feel all fuzzy inside. Your head lift.

You had given the idea some thought. Would you entertain the idea as well? Sometimes. Did you want to marry him?

After much deliberation, yes. Yes, you wanted to marry this man.

Oh did you want to marry him.

So badly.

But with the current weirdo in your house, you probably couldn’t even talk to Lee about it. Because every time Carl was in a room with you, you just avoided talking to anyone altogether. Other than the times where you would be in bed with Lee. Then yes. Other than that, no. Not at all.

Up came your mama’s hand towards her forehead.

She had been anticipating this.

Oh yes, she had.

Because you weren’t wrong.

Carl had so many red flags.

So many red flags.

Many, many red flags.

Every time she saw him, your mother’s fight or flight reflex would act up.

It was like looking at her husband almost.

Terrified could be one word to explain how your mother felt around the man. Almost like she felt as if she was walking on eggshells around him.

He just gave her so many bad vibes.

“I know sweetheart, I know. But Lee will be fine. He’s the sheriff. He can handle himself.” Was what she told you. Tried to reassure your nerves.

You, however, were not that reassured so easily.

You still raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

You were worried for your Alpha.

How could you not be? He was your Alpha, for fucks sake. You were bonded to the Sheriff of Knockemstiff. He was your Alpha. Your Lee. Your Daddy.

You had a right to be worried about him.

So you couldn’t help it.

It was perfectly reasonable.

Very reasonable, in fact.

“I dunno mama… I’m still a little bit worried.” You admitted quietly.

And your mother could understand that.

Even with her Beta status, she knew how it would affect a recently bonded Pair.

Because you were recently Mated.

She saw the bite mark on your neck from Lee that proclaimed you as his. The fucking entire county probably knew you were his alone by the bite in your neck. And if anyone were to speak an ill word against you, well, your Daddy would set them straight. Lee Bodecker, Sheriff Lee Bodecker would see to it that no one spoke any ill word against his mate.

Because you were his. His alone. His Omega. His other half. Lee knew for a fact that he would murder for you. Hell, if you even asked him to murder someone, he would still do it. Because that was how much his love ran for you. It was so deep.

And now that you had his bite on your Mating Gland, well, he knew for a damn fact that if someone were to take you, they would have to pry you from his cold, dead hands. Or body. They would have to kill him first to get to you. And he wasn’t going to let that happen.

As you and your mother were in his backyard, laying on the foldable chairs from where he watched from your shared bedroom that used to be his once upon a time, he watched.

Was it out of line, or even creepy to be stalking you?

Probably.

But did he care?

No.

Absolutely not. He didn’t give a single flying fuck anymore.

You were his now. So he had a right to be concerned, where his other half was.

Completely reasonable.

But Lee… Lee didn’t know where this surge of possessiveness had come from.

Ever since you had bitten his Mating Gland and you and your mother had moved in, the Bond complete, Lee felt something shift inside of him. Almost like a change in the air.

For the past couple of nights, weeks even, you had been adjusting. Throwing out your nest over and over again. Lee would hear you in the bedroom when he’d come back from work, having thrown your nest across the room like you were a freaking superhero. Grumbling and hissing underneath your breath about it not being in its proper place.

Throw out. Fix again. Throw out. Fix again.

Rinse and repeat that for the past few nights, and now, now as Lee moved so he could sit comfortably in the nest, watching you get up after saying something to your mother that made her sigh in fondest, padding back into the house, it was perfect.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The sounds of your footsteps smacking against the hardwood floors of the hallway caught his attention.

Seeing you at the doorway, mumbling and spewing curses underneath your breath as you slammed the bedroom door shut behind you, shoving your shorts down. Revealing your bikini bottoms. He watched as you slipped on a pair of jeans like it was nothing. Shimmying into them and hissing to yourself, oddly sounding like, “stupid fuckin’ creepy motherfuckin’ Betas,” or something like that. Grabbing a scrunchie from your vanity that you had moved in from your house, tying your hair up. A few strands of hair falling free into your face, which you tucked away behind your ears.

When you finally did look at him, a genuine, real smile stretched over your face. Walking over, allowing the beacon that was your Alpha, your Daddy, his big, strong arms wrapping around you, surrounding you in his scent that reminded you of home.

Nuzzling your face into his shoulder, against his uniform. Against that star embedded into his uniform that made the slightest bit of arousal leak from your pussy.

A soft, gentle sigh was expressed from you.

His voice was throaty when he spoke.

“When you come back from visitin’ Arvin and his folks…”

Up came your head. Looking at him, encouraging him to go on with that wide, innocent look in your eyes that you saved only for him.

A nod.

He continued.

“I want to get married. I want you to wear my ring and my mark. I want you to have my name.”

His hands came to cup your face as he talked. You listened.

Thrill ran down your spine.

“… Want it, Daddy… want Daddy all to myself… want your name, Daddy…” your response was breathy as you looked at him.

Something broke in him.

Shattered.

Cause just then, Lee had grabbed you, spun your around, landing right on top of your vanity. He made sure to not smack you down loud. You had guests in the house, after all.

Well.

Sandy was in the living room with your mother, who had just come in. Carl, thank fuck, was out doing god fucking knows what.

There was a noise of Lee unzipping your jeans. He shoved them down your ankles. In fact, just for good measure, he shoved your bikini panties down too. Shoved three thick fingers into your pussy that was already leaking.

You gasped.

Keened, even.

How could you not?

Although… although you would’ve preferred your Daddy’s tongue, his fingers worked just fine. That feeling of your pussy being plugged always gave you pure bliss.

Pump. Squish. Pump. Squish.

Lee’s breath ghosted against your mating gland, making a shudder run down your spine as he fucked you with his fingers.

All the while, secure in the knowledge that his own little sister and future-mother-in-law were in the next room.

No more fucks had been given.

You were so full.

Oh so full.

You were cumming in no time at all, your walls clenching down harshly onto Lee’s fingers. Shuddering as you came. Feeling like someone had smacked the air out of your lungs.

Deep breaths and pants came from you.

His lips were pressed down onto your mating gland. The tip of his tongue peeking out, before his tongue licked your gland, making your hips stutter. His fingers still buried deep inside of you, all the way up to his knuckles.

He was buried so deep inside of you, but still, that wasn’t enough.

And then his fingers were moving again. Pushing back up inside of you, filling your pussy up.

Smack. Smack. Smack.

Keening noises came from you. Wet, squishing noises echoed with every thrust of Lee’s fingers plunging back into your wet cunt. You had to hold onto your vanity, gripping the edge so tight that your knuckles were turning white. You were so wet and turned on, having just come once already.

It wasn’t until you came for a second time, your second orgasm piggybacking from your first one, a soft little whimper filling the bedroom as you clamped down onto his fingers, your breathing turning a little breathless. Softer.

“Daddy…” your voice was softer, bringing the Alpha back.

Squirming came from you when Lee licked your gland again. Your back arched up against his front, your toes curling up, making you rise a few inches. His arms wrapped around you, his scent coiling around you.

“Mean it,” his voice was a little rough, “wanna give you my name, babydoll. Want this whole goddamn fuckin’ county to know who your Alpha is.”

Your pussy throbbed. A low hiss came from Lee at the sensation.

“When my ma and I get back… when we get back… we’ll do it. It’ll be the first thing we do, Daddy.”

“Promise?”

His voice was a low rumble, making a deep shudder spread down your spine.

“Promise.”

When you turned so you could look at him, Lee noticed you trembling.

“I… I mean it, you know.”

You were shaking. Absolutely feeling so many emotions all at once.

“I… I really do wanna marry you. I got your mark already but… I want your name. Your ring. I really do. I already got ya mark but… I really want it. You. All of you. I… I want your pups too, Daddy.”

Words were coming out so quickly you weren’t really quite sure what you were saying either.

But the next words… those next three words… you remembered them. You remembered them well.

“I love you… I love you so much,” you were crying. When had you started crying?

But whatever now.

You were crying and spilling out your feelings like a lovesick teenager.

Your Lee, your Alpha, your Daddy, he wrapped his strong arms around you, bringing you closer to him as his head dipped down, his tongue flattening against your gland, making your ears pop. His scent overflowing your nose as he scented you. Marked you. Your body shuddered against his. Your Omega was overjoyed.

Alpha. Alpha. Alpha. Alpha is a good Alpha.

“I love you too, Little Omega.”

A couple of hours later...

Something was deeply wrong once you and your mother had driven up to Coal Creek.

It was like a fog that had seeped through your bones, once you had gotten up to the house.

However, you were broken out of your current train of thought when you saw Arvin running out of the house, running towards you, picking you up, and making you squeal.

Alphas and their strength.

“Everythin’s been so boring without you!” The young Alpha complained once he put you down, “the whole house’s been silent except for Lenora’s puking!”

Puking?

How… peculiar.

Very interesting.

It made you raise an eyebrow, as Arvin helped you and your mother inside as your sleepy brain tried to rack at what Arvin had just said.

But you didn’t dwell on it for far too long, considering once you had finally lodged your suitcase into your room, you had crashed immediately on the spot.

What had made you wake up from your slumber though, was puking.

Someone was puking their guts out in the bathroom.

Groggily, you stirred.

Even made a noise of deep discomfort from being woken up. Your Omega even stirred. She was also not very happy with these changes of events. You heard her in your mind, grumbling unhappily at the Omega who was currently vomiting her guts out.

After you managed to lodge yourself out of bed, you padded down the hallway, down to the bathroom, where the vomiting had been coming from.

What you saw made you nearly shriek.

Lenora cried out in surprise.

But that wasn’t what you were focusing on.

Your eyes were wide.

Your nose smelled something.

Something was very wrong with Lenora. You sniffed at the air.

Strange.

The brunette Omega watched as you walked over to where she was, kneeling over the toilet. She watched you get onto your knees, grabbing some paper to wipe her mouth.

“Need you to stand. Can you stand?” You asked her.

A nod.

Being as careful as possible, you helped Lenora up to her feet, helping her to the sink. Helping to rinse her mouth. Lenora coughed and spluttered the first few times. But eventually, you managed to help her rinse her mouth clean of any bile or puke.

“I’m gonna need ya to brush ya teeth. Can you do that? Brush your teeth?”

Another nod came from her.

Nodding at her, you quietly gave her some space. Some time to brush her teeth, while you scurried out of the bathroom and down the hallway again, into the living room.

After scouring around for everyone or anyone else who could be in the little house with you and Lenora, you found that it was just the two of you.

The Russell’s car wasn’t in the driveway. But your mother’s car was still in the driveway, which you assumed that she had caught a ride with Emma and Arvin. Finding yourself back in the kitchen, you also found that she had left the keys on the dining table.

You heard her spit into the sink. Then you heard the sounds of the sink being turned on and off. Padding footsteps made you aware of the fact that she was coming into the kitchen where you were.

That uneasy feeling filled you up again.

“So… how long have you been pukin’?”

Lenora blinked in surprise.

“U-Um…” she looked almost nervous, her voice stuttering. “A-About… a week now? I dunno why. Maybe I’m comin’ down with somethin’-”

You sniffed the air again. Lenora looked confused.

“What’re you doin’?” she asked, bewildered.

Still, you continued to sniff the air.

“Arvin said you presented. Did you have any toys? Emma provide you with any?” you inquired. Lenora’s cheeks flushed. “I- no. N-No. I never… I never got to.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Whatcha mean, you never got to? You’re supposed to?! You stayed home, right?!”

“N-No.”

You were even more confused.

“Lenora…” you were still very confused, but you didn’t want to frighten her. Scare her. Nothing of the sort. So your voice became gentler. “Lenora… when you present… you’re supposed to stay home. Your presentation… it hurts like a bitch.”

Lenora made a noise.

“Language!”

You waved that away.

“Bah,” you were unbothered, “you’ll cuss eventually. It comes to everyone.” Undeterred, you went on. “Any penny saver… your presentation. It hurts a lot. You’ll go into heat right after. It’s what happened to me.”

“Did it… how much did it hurt?” Lenora asked you tensely. Almost as if she was walking on eggshells. Clapping a hand gently on her shoulder, you steered her to the couch. It was time for a heart-to-heart. Omega to Omega.

“Well… it depends on the person. For me, it hurt like a bitch. It felt like… I felt like I was doing to die. As dramatic as that shit sounds… it really did hurt. My Ma had to send me to the damn ER cause all I would do was climb the walls like a bitch in heat. The whole thing… it felt like I wasn’t really… myself. Like I wasn’t all there, you know? Like… I was there. Subconsciously. But my designation… my Mega… she was in control. It’s kinda a helpless feelin’, bein’ in heat. All you want to do is fuck and breed. It’s what your designation craves. Needs. After though… I was still in pain a little bit. After-effects of heat. And I was really tired. Conked out for the next couple of days to recover. That’s why you gotta get a week off of school. Why weren’t cha in the house recoverin’? Where were you?”

Although now, you were thinking to yourself.

You were Bonded now.

You had a Bondmate. You had an Alpha.

You had never told Lee about your heats. About how much they hurt. For as long as you could remember, they were always painful. Many trips to the ER and hospitals didn’t do you any good. You had to be quarantined from everyone else because your scent was so strong. So thick. You remembered throwing fits, pounding your fists on walls, and screaming because it hurt so much. Your designation would wail and rage within you, wanting her needs to be met. Your Omega, your Omega was truly one of a kind.

In truth, you could admit to yourself why you hadn’t told him just yet.

You were terrified.

Truly utterly terrified.

What if you hurt him?

What if you killed him?

What if he saw what you were capable of during your heat and decided it was too much?

No.

No, no, no.

The mere thought of it was breaking your heart.

Your Alpha, your Daddy, he wouldn’t do that to you.

Would he?

Lenora faltered. Even paused. She looked like she had been slapped.

She had gone silent.

You sniffed at the air again. You could smell her scent of vanilla and cherries, yes, and while your brain processed that this was an Omega in front of you, something just wasn’t feeling right in your gut.

A darker, deeper feeling was twisting your stomach. It made your brain go into darker thoughts.

Lenora looked almost terrified. Her eyes kept darting around. Her scent shifted and started to burn your nose. Your eyes even watered a bit, smelling how her sweet scent slowly turned sour.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to tell me where you were. But I need you to listen to me carefully, okay?”

Your voice was nothing but gentle as you gently looked at the younger Omega. Your voice washed over her, coaxing her. You were sending off soothing pheromones, calming her frantic and shaking form.

Lenora let out a sniff.

“The world for us Omegas… it’s a dark and dangerous place out there. Always gotta be on our guard. Fuckin’ knuckleheaded Alphas who can’t take no for an answer. And for us women… well, we still gotta be on our guard. Men are stupid.”

A choked noise came from Lenora.

It made your Omega straighten up.

Your head cocked to the side.

Suddenly, it clicked.

Shit, shit, shit.

She was pregnant.

Lenora was fucking pregnant with a fucker’s pup.

You couldn’t explain the feeling that had run through you. It was as if someone had poured a bucket of ice-cold water over your head. It gripped you like a vice. Trapping and ensuring you in place. You might’ve even called the feeling pure horror seeping through your bones.

But you wouldn’t call it pure horror that was running through your veins at this moment. It was more than that.

“Lenora… were you visiting your mother?”

She only responded back to you with one word.

“ Yes.”

Now…

You had never been one for faith.

You weren’t a believer.

Not even when you had been younger.

You didn’t know why you didn’t believe. You hadn’t really given it much thought as you had grown older. Going to church seemed like an obligation. Almost as if you had to go. Truth be told, you always fell asleep during the sermons. So there was that.

But as you drove your mother’s car down to the church, your jaw was tight.

Those dark thoughts were back.

It had been a while since you had slipped into that dark headspace. Not only that, but it had been a while since you had actually driven a car. These days, you didn’t really drive, considering you just walked everywhere. A small town did that to you.

Growing up, especially in your dysfunctional household, your parent’s car was almost like an escape for you. Other than your room. Even then though, whenever you’d sit in your parent’s car, hearing the shouting coming from inside the house, the car didn’t quite still feel like your own.

Unlike the car, your room was strictly yours. Yours and yours alone. Your parent’s cars had their names on them. So it didn’t really feel like yours.

However, your new bedroom, after the attack, it didn’t quite feel like yours anymore. To be completely and utterly honest, you had felt like you had been in haze for the past couple of weeks. Like you were just here. Like a star up in the sky, aimlessly floating through space and time, just observing everything around you.

You felt like a ghost.

Although, at this moment, you didn’t feel quite as empty as you had been these past couple of weeks.

Now?

Now you felt ready and secure to kill a man.

An Alpha.

Never had you ever felt so angry to the point of violence. You weren’t a fucking pansy. You weren’t a fucking pacifist. You believed that if violence was truly needed, that you would use it. Only if it was the last possible option. Then yes, you would fuck shit up.

Here and now, however, violence was truly your one and only option.

Emma, Arvin, and your mother had come home to the Russell house a bit ago. You told them that you’d be going into town and that you would be dropping off at the church, to clean up Lenora’s mother’s grave and put new flowers down.

So, with a newly bought bouquet of flowers, a scrubber, and some water in an old plastic bottle, you drove off to the church.

But you had a darker motive in mind.

As you drove up, you made sure to wear your Mate’s leather jacket. Somehow, smelling Lee’s scent, it made you feel safe. That what you were about to do was okay and justified.

It was okay.

It was going to be okay.

Finding a place to park the car, you took the keys out of the ignition. Stuffing the keys into the front pocket of your dress, you got out of the car with all of your things. Your eyes were sharp and focused, blood roaring through your veins. Even your Omega was in full and complete support. The entire duration of the car ride, she strayed, staying at the back of your mind, tapping her paw in turn. She was silent and feeling quite deadly. Ready to rip a man’s throat out. Her anger kept perfectly under control. But she was like a ticking bomb. She just needed one thing to tip her off, and you were pretty sure that if she wanted to take over and attack a man, that you wouldn’t be complaining.

Not really.

The sounds of scrubbing slowly filled your ears as the birds chirped in the trees. You were wearing gloves because you weren’t fucking stupid. Plus, you didn’t really like these gloves anyway. Your mother had bought them for you a few years back, because they were on sale at Sears and because she thought that had looked nice.

They looked fucking hideous.

Absolutely an abomination to gloves. But, they were easy to put on and take off. So that was a plus, you supposed.

Only when you had put down the bouquet of flowers did you hear a noise.

A leaf crunched.

Someone was walking towards you. From where you were, knelt over Helen Laferty’s grave, your head turned.

Immediately, your Omega screeched in alarm.

It was him.

The Alpha that had single-handily ruined Lenora’s life.

Preston Teagardin, with his scent of maple and something musky, made itself known to you.

Not that you wanted to know.

Not really.

“Preacher,” was your cold response as you turned your head back, and adjusted the flowers.

He couldn’t help but blink in surprise.

He had noticed you driving a car into the church. Saw you pull in, dressed in a dress with all of your crinolines underneath your dress, making your skirts puffy and out there. He had seen you get out, with all of your materials. You looked like a woman on a mission. And well, he was definitely curious.

Subconsciously though, his Alpha was telling him something was wrong. But Preston being Preston, ignored it.

Your scent had intrigued him. You smelled wonderful. Like freshly baked chocolate chips.

Although now, especially with that leather jacket draped over your shoulders, clinging to your form, making you look smaller, he caught another whiff in his nose. A deeper scent. It was a masculine scent. Chocolate and bourbon filled his nose too. He almost thought maybe you had a brother who was an Alpha, but then his eyes fell upon the bite on your mating gland that you showed proudly.

You had an Alpha.

The last he had seen of you, you had not had an Alpha.

So that meant you were recently bonded.

Preston didn’t know whether to be shocked or angry that you were bonded.

Finally finished with your work, you turned back to the still shell-shocked preacher and stood up. Brushing off your skirts.

“You know preacher, it’s quite interesting.”

He was confused.

“What’s confusing?”

Your lips stretched into a smile.

“It’s quite confusing to me. I’ve never been one for faith. Never truly got into the church, or believed in Him. I’m not very spiritual, or religious. Never have been. Never truly believed in a higher power. But that’s not all that puzzles me. You wanna know what truly puzzles me though, Preacher?”

When he didn’t answer, you cocked your head to the side appraisingly. You took a step forward. He took a step back.

“It truly puzzles and interests me that you, you’re a Man of God, aren’t you, Preacher? You’ll listen to someone if they need to confess their sins, won’t you? Take it to the grave? That’ll it just be between me and you?” you inquired. You tilted your head back, looking at him. Waiting for an answer.

“I-I…” Preston stammered, making you tilt your head again, almost like a dog looking at its master.

“Because really, I find it very, very, very interesting that you’re not aware that rape is forbidden in the Bible. Don’t you know when the disciples asked Jesus what they should do about their sexual urges, that Jesus told them to gouge out their eyes? And don’t you know that when Omegas present, that they’re supposed to stay home? And don’t you know, that you’re mated and married to an Omega who doesn’t know that her Alpha and husband is a motherfucking rapist?!”

Preston threw his hands up in surrender.

“No one’s going to care. Who do you think the masses are going to believe? A spineless Omega or a Preacher?”

Your eyes flashed dangerously. In less than a second, you pulled out a familiar-looking pistol from underneath your dress and pointed the weapon right in Preston’s face. You knew it was fully loaded. But, just to check, you made sure to reload.

“W-Wait- this is a mistake-” he stammered, stepping away from you. You watched his feet stumble. He tripped on his own feet, falling into the grass. He continued to push back.

“Believe it or not, I am not a huge fan of violence. Neither is my Alpha. He looks out for me. He’s an amazing Bondmate. I don’t think you’d like him either. He’s the one who gave me this before I came here with my Mama. Just in case. This world’s dangerous, you know.”

You had worn your special shoes for the occasion.

You were not wearing your kitten heels.

No.

You were wearing stilettos. Which, now would be considered out of fashion. But you had been gifted a pair from your Daddy. So, therefore, they were special and were to be worn on only special occasions.

And wasn’t this a special occasion?

You considered it one.

You didn’t even bother to reload a second time. You knew you were fully loaded. And besides, you weren’t going to kill him.

Oh no.

No, no, no.

You’d just give him a fate worse than death.

Seeing his terrified form, you aimed your gun down.

Right there, the pistol facing his left hand.

A gunshot rang out.

You heard a scream. Maybe even a yell.

Moving your pistol down lower, your second bullet went right into his left thigh, dangerously close to his dick. You saw the tears. But you didn’t feel remorseful. This Alpha had harmed a member of your Pack. Why should you listen if he begged for mercy? Which he was. You were hearing his pleas. His begs for forgiveness. You knew right then and there, that your Alpha, your Daddy, would have never spared this man’s life.

However, you were not your Daddy.

You weren’t Lee.

So while Preston was still there, laying on the ground, you made sure to get right down on your knees, your left hand grabbing and twisting his left hand, making sure he wouldn’t touch you. Your knees completely spread, so that you would be nice and comfy.

Lee’s pistol cocked right on his temple.

“P-Please- you’re- you’re makin’ some type of mistake-” Preston pleaded, but you narrowed your eyes.

“No,” your tone was completely cold and unmoving, “No, I don’t think I am. I smelled you on her. Are you doubting my nose, Preacher? But don’t worry, I won’t be ending your worthless life today. Be happy that I won’t shoot your goddamn cock off. And besides, you should be grateful I didn’t shoot your right hand. If I truly didn’t give a shit, I would’ve fucking murdered you and left you for the birds. They’ll eat anything. Especially pieces of shit like you. But I don’t think even birds would want to feast on you.”

"I ever see or hear you rape another goddamn Omega, I'll make sure to really kill you. Consider this a goddamn motherfucking warning."

Getting up, and ignoring his whimpers that truly made him sound like a pathetic Omega in heat, you gathered your things.

As you walked past him, back to your mother’s car, you spoke one last time.

“Don't be sad, Preacher. Ya still got a right hand. I know it’s not your dominant hand. But you have a right hand, Preacher. Use it.”

Later on in the evening, back at Knockemstiff with Lee…

Believe it or not, but Lee Bodecker did not enjoy killing.

Even though he knew he was a corrupt Sheriff.

He had heard the rumors. The whispers. Gossip flew around quickly. Especially in a small town like Knockemstiff.

And the saddest part was that they were right.

Someone like Lee, someone who looked like Lee didn’t get to the Sheriff position without a little bit of darkness in him. Lee had long accepted the fact that he had crossed the point of no return. That if there was truly a God up there, with Heaven, that he would never be permitted to enter. He already knew with all the killing, deception- that his soul was black and damned.

There was no going back now.

Lee’s eyes were gazed, focused on the chair on his right. He could smell your lingering scent on it. If he leaned back and closed his eyes and focused hard enough, he could probably hear your laughter. He could probably imagine your smile too. Just the thought of that black box shoved in the top drawer of his dresser made his heart warm. Like there was something worth living for.

The sound of Sandy’s fork clanging on her ceramic plate caught Lee’s attention. He saw his little sister getting up, getting all of their empty plates, and marched right into the kitchen. Lee relaxed in his chair, hearing the sink turn on. Hearing the sounds of Sandy washing the plates.

For a moment, it was quiet. Lee could actually hear himself think. All leaned back, everything in his life nearly in peace and harmony.

“You know, I thought about her for a long time before I actually saw her again.”

Carl jumped.

Actually jumped.

He had jumped in surprise.

“We met at church, you know. Me and my Mega.” Lee was so relaxed, so deep in old memories.

“Took me two weeks to see her again. I felt so sorry for drinkin’ the rest of her slushie. But I just wanted to know why she was just so in love with drinkin’ em. For those two weeks… all I thought about her.”

Which, Lee was technically speaking the truth.

But not the full truth.

He remembered, in those two weeks before he saw you again, all those sleepless nights spent in his bed.

And now, he thought, what if he had been a good man.

A good man didn’t slick up their cock with Vaseline and jerk off to the thought and memory of kissing a defenseless, young Omega who was probably nearly a decade younger than him.

A good man didn’t masturbate himself to the near brink of death in the shower thinking about just how good your pussy would be if he fucked you for the first time.

A good man didn’t masturbate to the thought of his young Omega partner whom he was courting, cumming at the thought of how tight her cunt would be, or if blood would trickle down her legs after taking her virginity.

Lee Bodecker however, was not a good man.

At all.

Remembering his brother-in-law’s words, Carl’s face went pale as a sheet. Lee was so relaxed without a care in the world that he didn’t even have the ball to be smug about it.

The sounds of Sandy's footsteps made both of the men look up.

“I brought the tea.”

Sandy Henderson, with her hair in rollers, wearing her nightgown and her slippers adorning her feet, gave her Big Brother and her husband a look. Her gaze on Carl lingered just a bit longer. As if she was giving him one last look.

There was a clunking noise as Sandy placed the little ceramic teacups with the little covers on top of the table. Handing one to Carl and Lee. Sandy herself sat down at one of the chairs, stirring her cup with a little spoon.

When Carl took the top off of his cup and drank from it, he felt there was something wrong. Something in his gut turned and twisted.

Lee wasn’t surprised to see Carl get up from his chair, and start to cough. Nor was he surprised to see Carl claw at his throat, blue spit dripping down the corners of his mouth. Sandy sat there, staring Carl directly in the eyes as her husband breathed his last breath before he fell to the floor.

The Omega watched her Beta husband die kneeling. Like a sinner confessing their sins.

“Hold on, won’t cha Big Brother? Gotta get something from the bedroom.” Sandy got up, even pushing her chair in like a good little housewife, before clamoring her way down into the hallway, into the guest room.

Sandy came back with a camera.

Carl’s camera.

The one that he used for all of his murder victims. Lee didn’t feel a chilling in his bones. Sandy got real close, good enough to take a full-body shot. But focused on the horrified look in her husband’s eyes. Ones that looked like ones of pleading. As if he was begging for repentance.

Lee heard the camera click. Sandy shook the camera, hearing it splutter for a second before she got the photo out. An almost satisfying, chill smile stretched over her lips.

“He had a lot of photos, Lee. But this one… this one’s my personal favorite.”

Getting up from his chair, Lee looked down to inspect the dead body of his former brother-in-law.

“Ya brought the marriage papers?”

“Yup,” replied Sandy.

“And the photos?” Lee raised an eyebrow.

“Brought all of 'em,” the blonde Omega said in almost a relieved voice.

“Good. You burn them. I’ll take care of his body.”

Sandy could get on board with that.

It was a plan.

With you, late in the early morning…

It seemed, after your detour with the Preacher, that you could not sleep.

You had tossed and turned in bed all night.

Eventually, you had thrown all of your fucks out the window and got up quietly from your bed, opening your door ever so slightly so you could slip through. Padding your way down the hall, to the kitchen. Where the phone was located on the wall.

Picking up the phone, you spun the dial.

Spin. Spin. Spin.

Spin. Spin. Spin.

There was a moment of silence as you heard the phone connect.

There was another moment of silence before you heard the other person on the other line pick up.

“Ello?”

“Daddy.”

Lee breathed out a sigh of relief. Your Daddy sounded sleepy.

“Did I wake ya up, Daddy?” your voice was low. You didn’t want to wake anyone up.

“No, babydoll. I wasn’t sleepin’. Had a busy night, that’s all. Couldn’t sleep, could you baby?” his voice washed over you like thick syrup. You felt as if you were on frigging Cloud Nine. You felt so warm. So safe.

“Nu-uh… couldn’t sleep. Had quite a day today, Daddy.”

“Oh yeah?”

You heard some shuffling on his end of the line. Almost like he was moving around in bed.

“Miss you a lot, Daddy. The nest don’t smell like ya.”

“I miss you too, angel baby. Nest’s not the same without cha in it.”

He heard you intake in a deep breath. And then a deep shuddering noise came from you. Hoisting his legs over so he’d be sitting, he asked, “Ya alright, Mega?”

You faltered for just a split second.

“Daddy, I… I… I need to tell you something.”

That didn’t sound good.

Whenever Lee heard those words, or “we need to talk” in the past, then usually, those weren’t good words. Nothing good ever came out of those words.

“I’m listenin’, babydoll.”

He heard you take in another deep breath before you continued.

“I… my Omega… I feel like… like my heat’s slowly comin’. It ain’t gonna come tomorrow, or any day this week, but… I… I feel like my Omega’s warnin’ me as if she’s tellin’ me the storm’s bout to come my way… and… and I never told you but…” a loose sigh escaped your lips, “my heats are… awful. Every time they happened in the past… I felt like I wanted to die. They were so painful, Daddy. I don’t… I don’t wanna scare you…”

As Lee listened to you over the phone, it made him think of his own Rut.

He thought about how the week before he had seen you in that Seven-Eleven again, how he had gone right into a Rut. You, your scent, your Omega- it had thrown him in a frenzied Rut. He had never remembered any of his Ruts hurting like that before.

But Lee Bodecker wasn’t scared. He never was like that, even when he had been younger. Never ever.

“I ain’t scared of your Omega. I can handle your Omega. I’m your Daddy, ain’t I, babydoll?”

“Y-Yeah…” your voice had turned breathy. “Y-Yeah, Daddy.”

An agreeing noise came from Lee.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, Mega?”

“I think…” you chewed on your bottom lip for just a second. “I think… I think you need to come to Coal Creek.”

“What?”

Now he was concerned.

“What for?”

“It’s… it’s about Lenora. Today… earlier, I… I went to the church. I went to the Preacher and I shot him twice. With… with the pistol you gave me before my Ma and I left. He raped her, Lee. She’s pregnant with his pup. And I think… I think if I tell Arvin, that he’s going to kill him. I need your help, Daddy. Please.”

There was a beat of silence from the other line. For a moment, you thought Lee might've hung up on you.

But then, you heard it.

"Don't cha worry babydoll. San and I will come. You just stay there. Behave, ya hear me?"

You swallowed thickly.

"Y-Yeah, Daddy. I'll be on my best behavior."

"That's a good girl. Hang tight, got it?"

"Uh-huh."

"Good. Go get some sleep, babydoll. I don't like my baby tired and cranky."

You let out a faint giggle.

"Okay, Daddy. Gonna sleep."

"Mhmmm."

There was another beat of silence.

"I love you."

Maybe it was that you were getting a little sleepy. But you smiled anyway.

"I love you too, Daddy."

And then the line went dead.

Taglist: @greeneyedblondie44, @bxnnywriting

Series taglist: @queenslvy

[rogerslovesstark]

No More Love

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!reader, Sharon x fem!reader [platonic, for now ;)]

Word Count: 2,020

WARNING: ANGST, mean Steve, Sharon being a sweetheart because she is portrayed negatively, I've done it but girls support girls!

“Steve, where are you going?” You ask quietly, scared of his response because it seemed that he was always on the verge of exploding when you spoke to him. You felt like you were walking around eggshells whenever you were around him. 

Ever since he came back from Bolivia, he was constantly angry when he was around you. You noticed something was off when the night he came back, you tried to give him a massage and he jerked himself away from you. That was two months ago, and he was away for almost three months.

You wrote it off as him being tired and annoyed from the almost failed mission. However, as days continued, Steve kept keeping a cold shoulder to you. Avoiding you in the tower, skipping on date nights saying that he had mission reports to file, sleeping in the tower instead of coming home.

It was almost like he didn’t love you anymore.

Steve saw you approaching him in the tower, he also noticed that there was no way of avoiding you without causing a scene. So he just let you come to him, the new trainees in awe of the two superheroes who were supposedly madly in love with one another. 

You beamed at your boyfriend, he had just come back from Bolivia a few days ago and you hadn’t had the chance to speak with him properly, Steve was constantly swarmed in paperwork because of the operation. 

You knew that he was stressed when he didn’t want to have sex after his mission, but you also didn’t want to force it on him. It was odd that you wouldn’t want to have sex after two months away from your girlfriend, only having jerked off while on the trip. You had doubts that Steve remained loyal to you during the mission but you hid them deep in yourself because you didn’t want to doubt the loyalty of Steve.

Steve faked a smile when he saw you walk over to him, just to keep appearances with everyone around them. He hugged you loosely and quickly pulled away, not making many conversations with you and then excusing himself claiming he needed to speak with Fury about something important. 

You stood in the hallway, visibly upset that your lover wouldn’t spend five minutes with you.

You were starved of basic affection from your boyfriend. You didn’t even know what you did wrong.

Steve was on his way out the door when he heard you ask him where he was going. Just hearing you ask him where he was going angered him so much. You were acting like his mother all the time, so needy and annoying. 

“Out Y/n, why? Do you need anything?” He asked trying not to blow a fuse, his temper was so short with you. 

“Can we please talk before you go?” You asked him, you needed validation and affection so badly that you were itching just to have him hold you again. 

Steve huffed and dropped his keys on the side table and walked towards you, sitting on the couch near you, just not touching you. 

“Are you angry at me Steve?” You asked him, desperate for an answer. You just wanted your boyfriend to kiss you the way he used to.

“No, Y/n.” He answered shortly, temper slowly rising, he was getting annoyed by you already and you hadn’t even said more than 20 words to him yet. 

“Are you sure? You can tell me if I did something wrong, it won’t hurt my feelings,” You said reaching to hold his hand, in need of some sort of affection. Even if it was just holding his large hand. 

“Y/n enough, stop acting like a child, okay?” He shouted, pulling his hand away quickly when he realized that you were going to touch him. “Y/n I need to tell you something, don’t interrupt me okay, I don’t love you anymore, I don’t what happens but I just don’t love you anymore,” Steve said, feeling a weight lifted off his shoulders.

You sat on the couch stunned, absolutely stunned by what your boyfriend had just said. He didn’t love you anymore? What does that even mean? How do you just stop loving someone? You were processing 10 different emotions at once. The one you felt most was pain, so much pain that you couldn’t even cry because of how much it hurt.

Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth, you just stared at him in shock. You didn’t know what to say, you just sat on the couch, feeling like an outlier in your own home. 

Steve just stared at you, seeing you process what he had just said. He didn’t know how you would take it, but it seemed like you were taking it pretty well. He didn’t say anything else to you, he just grabbed his keys and shut the door behind him. Sam and Bucky were waiting for him at the bar, it was boys night and he was finally free from the leash of your relationship.

+++

You quickly grabbed your things from your side of the closet. You still didn’t feel the urge to cry about this relationship. Maybe because you already knew it was over subconsciously. Why cry over something that you were kind of expecting. 

You left his apartment an hour after Steve had left, with your two suitcases and a large bag filled to the brim in tow, you walked to the tower. It was a far walk, from Brooklyn to Mid-town Manhattan. You received so many strange looks because what kind of crazy person didn’t just call an Uber with all that stuff. 

It took you over an hour to reach the tower. You took the elevator up to your floor, constantly asking FRIDAY for updates of where everyone is inside the tower. Once you reached your floor, you requested FRIDAY to lock your floor to everyone until further notice, ban Steve from entering your floor, and disable people from requesting your location within the tower.

You placed all of your things inside your room, not having enough energy to put any of your things away. You walked over to your bathroom and started the shower, the heat as high as it would go.

You stood under the stream of burning water, you tried to avoid thinking of the situation. You still didn’t feel like crying, just the feeling of being numb and cold. You were probably cold because your insane ass walked from Brooklyn to Manhattan in a thin shirt and jeans. 

You turned the water off and changed into a teeshirt, crawling into your bed and requesting FRIDAY to close the curtains and not to open them until you were out of bed, whenever you awoke the next morning.

You laid in the darkness looking up at the ceiling, torturing yourself with the words Steve had said to you. Constantly replaying them inside your mind, hoping that he was lying, hoping that when you woke up the next morning that he would be laying next to you, holding you to his chest.

As you replayed the words in your head, you finally felt the tears coming on. You sobbed softly thinking of your failed relationship, thinking of what you did wrong. 

You finally fell asleep, cheeks wet from all the tears. Sleeping a dreamless sleep.

+++

Steve was drinking the mead Bucky had on hand, a welcome gift from Thor. They were in some club on the lower west side. Some blonde woman was sitting in his lap, talking about something Steve didn’t even care about. All he wanted to do was to sleep with her and kick her out. 

He didn’t care for anything at the moment, not when she had died at the cost of his stupidity. 

Janet, an inter who Fury had placed on the mission in Bolivia because he believed that she was ready to take on the mission with the supervision of Steve.

The first two weeks of the mission was filled with the sexual tension between the two. It happened after dinner had ended and Steve and Janet were buzzed, Steve had walked her back to her hotel room. She kissed Steve, and they ended up entangled in her sheets, any thoughts of you were completely forgotten by Steve. The night ended with the best sex of Steve’s night.

Once he woke up, he noticed that Janet was laying on his chest naked, and he was also naked. Steve had no regrets, he didn’t feel any remorse that he had cheated on you. So he continued the relationship with Janet, claiming that he didn’t love you anymore, that Janet made him feel something that you never made him feel. 

The night before they were meant to leave, Janet went to the local supermarket to get some wine and cheese for the two, to celebrate their relationship. Only to be shot and killed before she could even make it to the store. 

Steve was devastated that Janet had been killed, he mourned her death so painful. Steve genuinely believed that Janet was the love of his life.

Steve began getting annoyed of the blonde woman in his lap just chattering away, so he kissed her quiet, and took her back to her place, tidy and small. He would expect nothing more from a young woman working in some low-paying field, she had mentioned it but Steve was too caught up in his thoughts about Janet to even care about what she was saying.

As soon as Steve finished, he got up and left. He finally made it to his apartment, expecting you to be in the bedroom, but you weren’t here. Good, it's better that way, you were so unbelievably annoying that he could barely stand to be around you. 

He climbed into his bed, the sheets still smelled like your shampoo. He had to wash the sheets as soon as possible, whenever he found the time. 

+++

You had been in a dark place for the last 3 weeks, you had begged Fury to not place you on any mission, you explained the situation to him, with him being infuriated, almost going to the length of finding Steve and shooting him in the leg. 

You realized that you were in such a depressive state and hadn’t been taking care of yourself. In 3 weeks, you had barely eaten, showered, or spoken to anyone. 

You forced yourself to get up, shower, eat a proper meal, and go for a run. The amount of energy it took to even complete those tasks was so unbelievably exhausting that you only wanted to lay in bed all day and read.

You ended up calling Sharon, asking her to come to see you and hang out to take your mind off the hurt you were going through. You and she were friends, meeting each other during the SHIELD initiative. Sharon was always so kind to you, you could sense her attraction to your boyfriend but then again who would be. Well, ex-boyfriend.

You cried your heart out to Sharon, laying in your bed with her, while she stroked the back of your head trying to soothe you, you ended up asleep in her arms. You woke up to a clean room, and Sharon wasn’t in your bed. She was in your kitchen making something to eat you were guessing. 

“Hey N/n, you need to eat some dinner, I’m making spicy penne al vodka, it’s almost ready,” Sharon said while stirring the pot she was using. You took a seat at the counter, waiting to be served by your friend. You stared out the window, just wondering what Steve was doing right now.

“Y/n, Y/n, Y/n, hello,” Sharon waved her hand in your face. She was confused as to why you kept daydreaming, he left you, you should move on because he was a piece of shit anyways.

“I’m not hungry Shar, I ate earlier, I’ll just eat later,” You said while staring out the window.

[makeste]

A theory I have seen is that Fuyumi wants the family back so desperately, because she and Toya experienced the better Endeavor, where everything was alright. My guess is that after his decent into abuse its stopped being like a normal family and Natsuo and Shoto never experienced a normal family. But that is just a therory

okay so speaking as someone who grew up with an abusive and neglectful parent (though in my case it was my mom rather than my dad)... it’s complicated. there are a lot of emotions there. I think one of the things Horikoshi has really excelled at with the whole Todoroki plot is the way that he’s used the four siblings to show the different ways that children respond to parental abuse. and I can say from personal experience that all of them are valid. not just the bitterness, anger, and resentment that Touya, Natsuo, and Shouto have all shown at times, but also that intense (but tentative, almost wishful-thinking) longing to just have a normal family that we see from Fuyumi. speaking again from experience, that last one isn’t an outlier at all. in fact, in my case, I’d say that was honestly the strongest feeling out of all of them, and it even fueled a lot of the other three emotions. btw just a heads up I’m gonna delve into some personal stuff here briefly, so yeah. I won’t put details, but if anyone wants an abuse trigger warning added to the post or anything like that, just let me know.

so the thing is, even during my angriest times, if some magic wish-granting genie had poofed in and told the child me, “’sup, I’m here to solve all of your family problems, just tell me what you want me to do,” I wouldn’t have wanted them to take my mom away and lock her up somewhere and make her suffer or anything like that. honestly, even during the worst of it, the thing I wanted more than anything else was just to have a normal family. my mom had a lot of untreated mental health issues, and it was basically a situation where you never knew which version of her you were going to get on any given day. so there were times when she was a kind and loving mother who took care of me and my siblings. and there were a great many more times when she was temperamental and erratic, and we all (my dad included) basically just walked on eggshells around her and did our best to lay low and try not to bother her because even little things might set her off, and we never knew how she was going to react. and my dad worked a lot, and my sibs and I were homeschooled for reasons which I’m not gonna get into because this post is already veering off on too many tangents, but anyway so the short of it is that my sibs and I grew up in this unstable environment and ended up more or less raising ourselves. and I resented my mom a lot for that, growing up, and I still do honestly.

now a lot’s happened since then, and she’s gotten some help, and my siblings and I are all adults now and we’re more or less good, even though we all took a certain amount of Psychic Damage along the way and we’re each still dealing with that. and we each have different relationships with our mom now, and a couple of my sibs are even fairly close to her. but for my part, I pretty much have no relationship with her at all outside of seeing her a few times a year at family get-togethers and the like. the thing is, even though my mom did eventually (after a LOT of false starts and struggles and heartache) get some help, she’s never really shown remorse for what my siblings and I went through because of her. she’s never taken responsibility for any of it. she blames a lot of other people, and will go on long rants about all of the terrible things that have happened to her and all of the horrible ways people have treated her (some of which is true, and some of which very much is not). but there’s never even the slightest acknowledgement of any of the things she herself has done to hurt others. she either passes the blame or just pretends it never happened. 

and honestly, it sucks. even now, there’s little to no real desire to change on her part. she’s gotten therapy and meds now, and so emotionally she’s much more stable than when we were kids, but one of the unfortunate results is that it’s all the more clear now that a lot of her behavior never had anything to do with her mental illness at all. she just didn’t care at all about how she was hurting others; or at the very least, didn’t care to face it. and that’s just how it is.

anyway, so I’m sorry to keep breaking away and telling you guys my own life story lol. but the point I’m trying to get at here is that I actually relate to Fuyumi so much, though. what I wanted more than anything was for my mom to care, and to say she was sorry, and for me to be able to believe that and to trust her, and for her to actually change. that was it.

and so for me, here’s the biggest difference between the Endeavor situation, and my own and so many others. the difference is that unlike people in real life, we know Endeavor is actually remorseful for what he’s done. we know it for certain because we’ve seen it for ourselves, from his own point of view. the manga actually lets us get inside his head and shows us that he really is sincere, that he really is sorry, and that he really is trying to change. and that’s something that’s impossible to get in real life. that certainty that the person really means it, that they’re genuinely remorseful and committed to making amends.

and for me, that’s fucking wish fulfillment right there. for the abusive parent to finally realize the error of their ways and be sorry and try to do right by their kids. I fucking wanted that. hell, I still want it, even though I’ve made my peace with things the way that they are. that chance to somehow heal the broken relationship, and have your parent genuinely try their best to be a real parent to you, even if it’s years after the fact? shit. I’d take that in a heartbeat.

and so when it comes to Fuyumi and her attempts to get her family to reconcile and experience a few normal things, I f feel that. I really do. because when you’re growing up in that type of situation, normal is all that you want. and I don’t think it’s anything that requires an explanation on her part, because it’s not actually an unusual reaction at all. it’s natural. it’s the most natural thing in the world. honestly it’s annoying that fandom sometimes tries to shame her for having those feelings. like honestly, fuck that. because the thing is, I’d wager that almost every kid who grew up with an abusive parent has at some time or other felt the exact same way.

and that includes Touya, Natsuo, and Shouto as well. literally the only difference between them and Fuyumi is that they feel that Endeavor’s change of heart is simply coming too late. it’s not that they don’t want their family back, just like she does; it’s that from their point of view, it’s something they can’t get back. for Fuyumi, that dream of having a normal family is something she’s still seeking. for Natsuo and Touya, that dream of having a normal family is something that was destroyed. something that Endeavor killed. something they’re in mourning of. and so Touya wants revenge for it, and Natsuo is trying to pick himself up and move past it. and meanwhile Shouto is caught somewhere in the middle of all of those reactions, because he’s still trying to decide whether or not he can ever bring himself to trust his father again. he’s somewhere in between his brothers’ mourning and his sister’s hopefulness. sort of a Schrodinger type of deal lol.

but anyway, the point I’m trying to make here is that all four siblings are really experiencing the same thing, just in different ways. Fuyu may be the one arranging family dinners and the like, but that same longing to be part of a normal family is at the core of Natsuo, Shouto, and even Touya’s behavior as well. Natsuo’s hurt and resentment, and Touya’s spite and bitterness, come from being denied the thing they want. and Fuyu’s shaky attempts at reconciliation come from her desire to still obtain it somehow. but at the end of the day they’re the exact same feelings. and they all come from the same place.

anyways, hopefully that makes some kind of sense. basically, everyone is valid. Fuyu is valid, Natsu and Shouto are valid, and Touya is murdery which isn’t cool, but his feelings are still valid too nonetheless. hugs and therapy for the Todoroki children in 2021, Horikoshi. please and thank you.

[imkylotrash]

Her Beauty And The Moonlight

Pairing: Stella x reader

Request: Stella gets jealous of the reader and blooms friendship causing her to tell the reader of her feelings towards her. Anonymous

A/N I have a thing for meetings on rooftops. 

“You’re already drinking?” Stella asks and you can’t help but roll your eyes. She’s always giving Riven grief and tonight of all nights you all deserve to let loose. 

“Leave him be, Stella. Tonight is for having a little bit of fun,” you laugh but quiet down as you look over at Sky. You fear you may have been too insensitive considering everything he’s going through right now but he doesn’t even seem to notice. 

“I’m not saying we can’t have fun, I was just making conversation.” Riven lifts the flask once more smirking at Stella as he does. You give her shoulder a gentle squeeze to keep her from annoying Riven more. He’s not that bad yet but he might just turn into a real asshole if provoked. 

“It’s a good thing you’re cute because you, my dear, are a terrible liar.” Her cheeks flush red and you feel your heart swell. 

“I have to go help Bloom get ready but I’ll see you at the party?” you ask grabbing your bag from the bed. You notice Stella’s face fall slightly but in a matter of seconds she covers it up with a smile. 

“Sure. We can’t have Bloom waiting.” You furrow your brows but don’t comment on it. She’s been upset with Bloom ever since she arrived and the only reason you can think of is that she’s upset with how well Bloom and Sky are getting along. Except you thought she was finally over Sky.

“Right. See you.” Walking into the suite, you find all the girls in the bathroom with Terra freaking out. Bloom spots you and edges out of the little bathroom to greet you. 

“I see I came at the right time,” you laugh hugging her briefly. Your friendship has blossomed quickly and it’s taken you by surprise. Normally, you don’t make friends easily - a curse that comes with being a specialist. You see monsters and dangers hidden everywhere, even in people. But Bloom is different somehow. You and her just click and it’s nice having someone other than the boys to talk to. Of course, there’s Stella but it’s difficult speaking to Stella when it’s Stella you need to talk about. 

“We’re just making sure Terra looks her best for the party,” Bloom smiles at the same time as Terra turns to you. 

“I look good, right?” She seems nervous for the party and while you haven’t got a clue why she’s so anxious about tonight you’re all for being a hype woman. 

“You look stunning. You’ll knock them dead.” A breath of relief leaves everyone’s lips and you look to Bloom surprised. Why are everyone walking on eggshells around here?

“She wants to impress Dane,” Bloom whispers in your ear and suddenly, it all makes sense. You don’t have to heart to tell Terra that Dane only has eyes for one person at the moment and sadly, it isn’t her. You just hope she’ll be careful.

“We should probably get going if you still want to go together? I promised Stella I’d be there around ten.” Bloom nods giving Terra one last hug before leaving with you. The party is fun but Bloom leaves you for Sky at some point and after that you don’t feel the need to stay. You don’t drink and you don’t smoke and at this stage in the party everyone is doing either one or both of those things. You’re just about to head out when Stella stops you. 

“Where’s your little sidekick?” She’s stumbling over the words and in all the time you’ve known her this is the first time you’ve ever found her unattractive. Drunkenness does not suit the Princess of Solaria. 

“Are you talking about Bloom? Come on, Stella. She’s my friend,” you say trying to figure out if you can sneak around her. You’ll definitely move faster than she can right now. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard the story before. She’s just my friend. I don’t care for her like that. Blah blah. You’ll be in love with her in a month.” 

“Is that what this is? You think I have feelings for Bloom?” Even if you did, why would it be problem for Stella. Is this her being drunk or is she truly bothered by it? It’s hard to tell right now. 

“It’s sad really. She likes Sky and you like her. But who likes you?” It’s a low blow and Stella knows that but right now she doesn’t care. You clench your jaw to keep from biting back at her. It’ll do no good right now. 

“I think you’re done,” you say grabbing the drink from her hand and throwing it away. You did not plan on having to be a babysitter tonight but you’re not about to leave her alone when she’s in this state. She needs water and to sleep it off. 

“Come with me.” You grab her arm and drags her with you. She trips over her feet several times but finally you’re back at your room. 

“I don’t want to sleep here,” she mumbles trying to get free from your grasp. Finally, she’s starting to get sleepy rather than the toxic mood she had at the party. 

“Tough luck. Get in,” you order signalling to the bed. She complains the whole time but crawls under the covers all the same. You won’t be sleeping here tonight, it would feel wrong. You just had to make sure she was safe and sound before leaving. 

“I hate you and Bloom together,” she mumbles and while you’re pretty sure she won’t be remembering this tomorrow you just have to know. 

“Why?”

“Because it’s wrong. It should be me.” You drop the hoodie you’d just grabbed from the closet from pure shock. When you turn around to face her, you find that she’s already asleep. You tell yourself that she’s just drunk and probably doesn’t mean it like that but hope has taken root in your heart now. Silently, you exit the room locking the door before heading outside. The cold air hits you like a slap across the face but you persist anyway. You need to clear your mind and against your own better judgement, you head for the forest. It’s stupid and reckless but you have to get away from everything. If she genuinely does like you, you’ll be happier than a kid on Christmas Eve. But if she doesn’t, this might just break your heart. You’d accepted having to love her from a distance and just be thankful for a chance to be in her life but now that there is an actual chance of having what you’ve always wanted? You’re not sure you’ll be able to go back. You get all the way to the shed with no interruption and decide that Earth sounds pretty good right now. You don’t return to Alfea until the following night heading straight for the roof. There’s something so calming about watching the moon travel across the sky. 

“I thought I saw you return,” Stella says carefully climbing out onto the roof. 

“Hey,” you say keeping your voice neutral. 

“I think I might have said some things last night that I shouldn’t have,” she starts but you shush her. If she’s going to take it back, you want just a moment more feeling hopeful. 

“I know you have feelings for Sky. It’s fine,” you say as you feel the wind blow out the candle of hope she had ignited in you.

“I don’t have feelings for Sky, I have feelings for you. You’re the one with feelings for someone else,” Stella admits and you want to kiss her and slap her at the same time. Is she actually so oblivious that she hasn’t realised that you’re head over heels in love with her? 

“I have feelings for you. It’s always been you.” Moonlight bathes the two of you in its soft light and you swear she’s never looked more beautiful than right now. The moment could not be more cliché than this but with Stella you don’t mind. Hesitant you reach out and intertwine your fingers with hers and she awards you with a smile. 

“So, we have feelings for each other? What are we going to do about that?” Stella asks voice shaking slightly. 

“How about this?” You lean in and kiss her softly. 

“Yeah, I like that.” She kisses you once more creating a fire inside of you. It feels so right being with her. You sneak your arm around her and she leans her head on your shoulder. You watch the sunrise together and the sun proves you wrong. Sunlight is way better than moonlight. 

[lilred8220]

Maya’s (updated) relationship chart with the Obey me characters! Part 1!

This is a longer post with some spoilers and some of my Asmo's charming HC. This took forever but, I hope you enjoy it!

Lucifer:

At first, Lucifer didn't care for Maya due to feeling as though this would be a hassle to watch over a powerless human even if he was the one who picked her and her snooping around definitely didn't help.

Pretty soon however, he found her quite the wonder. Seeing how she easily won his brothers over and making packs with them fairly quickly. Even though he was concerned about her and his brothers, he couldn't help but be fascinated by her. He decided to give her a chance and try to get to know her and he was pleasantly surprised to find himself enjoying her company.

When he discovered that Maya had found Belphie, he was hurt yet conflicted. Maya broke his trust but it hurt him to watch Beel drag her off out of the house. When Maya returned, having to deal with the ridiculous plan to get him out of his room and having a heart to heart with everyone, he felt guilty, even if his pride would never admit it. For what had happened, he was mostly glad that the air was finally cleared, all because of a nosey little human and her caring nature.

Finding Maya dead crushed him more than he expected. He felt his stomach drop and for the second time, he felt so powerless as her dead body was in Mammon's arms. But then, Maya returned and she was alive, still breathing. He never dared speak this to anyone how he secretly thanked God that she was still alive.

Her connection with Lilith was a happy shock, even though it didn't change the way he feels about Maya.

As time goes on, his feelings for her bloomed to something more, yet he tries to keep it hidden because he is fully aware of Maya’s feelings towards Mammon (she hasn't been very subtle about it) and doesn't want to ruin his relationship with her. Even though it hurts his pride to do so.

As for Maya, when she first met him, she was quite intimidated by him, growing up in a christian family yet she became agnostic, her whole belief was thrown out the window and he's THE LUCIFER MORNING STAR. And so, she kept her distance from him…at first.

As time went by, she found that he wasn't what she expected or how her family spoke of him. She still would walk on eggshells around him from time to time, especially when he would throw a warning or threat her way but she found herself to feel happy to have his company most of the time.

After what happened with Belphie, she was worried Lucifer wouldn't be her dear friend anymore but, having had the heart to heart with his brothers and the reveal of her relation with Lilith, she knew that they would be fine.

Even with the occasional pranks with Satan or goofing off with Mammon, she grew to have a great respect for Lucifer. She knows that she can trust him with almost anything. She even would go as far to call him family. Even if her actual family doesn't like him, she would stand her ground for that claim.

Mammon:

When he first met her, he immediately didn't like her, due to the fact that he had to be her guardian. He really didn't want to watch over a weak human, complaining about it any chance he got. However, that quickly passed as he got to spend time with her.

Having her around, constantly being by his side, agreeing with him and simply supporting him was quite jarring to say the least. He wasn't used to someone being kind to him or not trying to insult him at any given moment. He was cautious of her affection at first, expecting her to use him or for it to be some cruel joke. But, as they grew as close friends, pulling one of his money making schemes, spending time in class or simply hanging out in her room, he found she had pure intentions.

That being said, that was put into question when Belphie came into the picture. When she was dragged out with Beel, he locked himself in his room and wondered if what he feared was true, if she really was just using him. When she came back and properly explained the situation, he knew that she was telling the truth and was more than glad that their friendship wasn't a big lie.

When Maya died, he honestly felt his world crumble. He held her body and felt that he lost the only thing that he truly cared for. If he wasn't so distraught by Maya’s death, he would've torn into Belphie for taking the one person who actually treated him like he was worth something. He was stunned yet overjoyed by Maya being alive but it also put his viewpoint on his feelings with Maya into light. He knew that he cared for her more than just close friends.

The reveal of Lilith was shocking, but that was honestly the last thing that mattered to him. What mattered to him was who Maya was and she was someone he cared about truly and deeply.

Time passes and he slowly slips deeper into her love and affection. His crush on her evolves into something more, something serious. He simply can't stand the thought of losing her to someone else, anyone else. He loves her, and wants to tell her and the world that that's his human, he's her guardian, her first man and he intends to keep it that way.

As for Maya, when she first met Mammon, she was a blushing mess. It was like love at first sight, even though she didn't realize it at the time. Her heart was racing and she tried her best not to stumble on her words. She couldn't understand what was happening to her at first, why she had all the butterflies in her stomach, even when all he did was complain on the way to HOL.

As time went on, she quickly realized that she was having an equivalent to a school girl crush for Mammon. She tried to push her feelings down, because, well, she just met the guy. As she got to spend more time with him however, she only fell for him more. She honestly couldn't help it! She often wonders how his brothers could be so cruel to him and hated it. Seeing him hesitate to her kindness broke her heart. She decided that instead of shoving her feelings away, that she would make it her duty to shower him with affection, giving him love that he lacks and so clearly needs.

After being dragged off with Beel, she was extremely scared that she ruined everything that she had with Mammon. When she came back, she quickly explained everything that had happened, assuring him that their friendship wasn't a lie. She was more than relieved for him to forgive her.

She found that her feelings for him would only grow and chose to accept it. She truly loves to be with him, hanging out, coming up with schemes, even if they go south, and she just simply loves him. She doesn't care what her family says about him, they don't know him like she does. They don't know how he protects her, cares for her, maybe even loves her. She wasn't one to believe in soulmates however, after meeting Mammon, she now truly believes that they were fated to meet.

Levi:

When Levi met Maya, he wanted nothing to do with her. She was a normie, thus, not worth his time. He didn't bother to get to know her, even when he and Maya worked together to pressure Mammon into a pact.

After making a pact with her however, he finally decided to actually get to know her and discovered that they actually had a lot in common. He first thought that maybe this is her still sucking up to him but, after seeing her games, her favorite animes and even some of the drawings she drew, he found that she was being genuine.

When Belphie revealed himself, his self loathing consumed him as she left with Beel. In his mind, he thought that it was all a lie because would anyone actually be friends with an otaku like him. When Maya apologized and explained herself, he was happy that she genuinely wanted to be friends with him. She was Henry to his Lord of Shadows. True best friends.

When Maya was in Mammon's arms, dead, his face went pale. His Henry, gone. Forever. How could this have happened? How could Belphie do this? Why? His one true friend was taken from him too soon. He felt himself release the breath that he didn't even know he was holding when Maya turned out to be alive. He was relieved, extremely happy that his best friend was ok and safe.

When Maya's lineage was revealed, it was definitely a plot twist he didn't see coming. He was glad Lilith lived but Maya was her own person, and cared about her as such.

Afterwards, Levi and Maya became best friends over their shared love of video games and anime. He finally found someone in real life who understands him, who actually gets him. He found his true friend.

As for Maya, she did want to be friends with Levi, seeing that they had plenty of things in common but Levi's constant reluctance to open up and being rude to her made it hard for her to not dislike him.

Slowly, as she showed Levi her shared love of video games and anime, she saw him open up to her and finally started to share his love for the same things. They soon became good friends and even started to marathon different animes every Saturday or play video games hours on end.

After leaving with Beel, she felt pretty guilty, knowing full well that Levi would dive into his self loathing. So when she came back, she quickly apologized, reassuring him that she truly wants to be friends and was happy to find that he forgave her.

With everything that happened, their friendship grew stronger. The two of them would geek out over all of the upcoming games, theorize over what would happen next in the next episode of the anime they were watching and even show each other the drawings they drew. They definitely have become very good friends.

Satan:

When Satan met Maya, he neither disliked her nor was interested in her. He simply saw her as an exchange student. Nothing more, nothing less.

His curiosity was piqued by her making pacts with his brothers left and right. He definitely tried to use her to piss off Lucifer by making a pact with her. Though, seeing her being so kind to not just his brothers but to him as well, he honestly felt bad for trying to pressure her into a pact for a petty reason. He finally opened up to her and was happy to be friends with her.

When Belphie showed up, it definitely was a shock, due towards Lucifer's actions more than anything. He definitely knew that Maya had no ill intent and knew it was for the best that Beel took her when he left. He understood Beel took her for her safety. When she came back, he didn't need her to explain herself. He pretty much understood the situation based on the kind of person she is. A person who sticks her nose in others business with nothing but the pure intention of helping others.

Seeing Maya dead, fueled him with a type of anger he's never felt before. He understood that Belphie hated humans but couldn't understand why he would do this to someone as caring and kind as Maya. Someone who only wanted to help him and his brothers. He felt a weight lifting off his chest when Maya was perfectly fine and alive.

Finding out about her and Lilith definitely made him feel some positive way, though he never really knew who Lilith was thus, didn't change his opinion of Maya in any way.

However, they became good friends. He would share his passion for books with her, telling her all about the stories he read as Maya listened enthusiastically, he would even listen to the few books she likes. Though their taste in books are very different, he finds the conversations he has with her something to look forward to, as she had a different viewpoint most of the time and her opinion definitely interested him.

As for Maya, she was pretty confused how he was the Avatar of Wrath. To her, he seemed like a pretty stand up individual. He didn't really stand out to her anymore then that.

But, as time passed, she had seen the cracks of his mask and was able to see exactly why he was called "Avatar of Wrath". When he tried to make a pact with her the first time was when she got a clear idea of why he has that title. He definitely made it more apparent with the swapping incident with him and Lucifer. That being said, she was always somewhat aware of why he was at odds with Lucifer. But she was fully aware after finding out that Satan's origins were…different to say the least.

She was a bit worried that Satan would be upset with her when she left with Beel. She was afraid that he would get the wrong idea of her; however, Satan didn't bother to let her apologize, having already figured out roughly what the situation was and her true goal was only to help. She was glad he understood where she was coming from.

When everything calmed down, Maya and Satan actually got to spend more time together and grew to be pretty good friends. They get together at the library sometimes and discuss the books that they would read at the time. Since Maya is a dog person, her and Satan would get into heated debates about what was better, dogs or cats. All of the time. Maya is also a reluctant member of the Anti-Lucifer League. All and all, they have a pretty good friendship.

Asmo:

When Asmo met Maya, she was a pretty face to talk to. He was quick to strike up a conversation with her, despite being forbidden to, he couldn't help but try to charm her, just for a bit. However, he found that she was pretty resistant to it and did love a challenge.

As time went on however, he kept coming to the same conclusion, that his charming really wasn't working on her, no matter what he did. So he decided it must be due to her being a virgin and gave up. But wait, his "six sense" was going off like crazy telling him otherwise. Wait, she isn't a virgin? Now, that's interesting…and now she has incredible hidden power? Sign him up! He knew she was special but she also was slowly helping his family come back together. She truly was a pure saint!

When Belphie came up, he was hurt by the thought that Maya was only thinking of Belphie and not him. Because, how could she think of anyone but him! When Maya apologized however, he knew to trust her word. She was always one to wear her heart on her sleeve.

Maya dying honestly scared him. He couldn't believe that someone like her could end up like this, to his little brother no less! All she wanted to do was help the family, how could he do this to her! He immediately hugged Maya when she turned out to be ok. Don't scare him like that! It's bad for his skin!

Lilith living was quite the shock, it's no wonder Maya was so sweet and caring. However, she was very different from her in many ways and she was someone just as special.

All and all, Asmo was pretty much Maya's BFF. He always gossips with her, doing her nails and goes out shopping with her when he gets the chance. He also admires how powerful she truly is. Being able to be immune to his charming and secretly being more powerful than Solomon is definitely something to respect in his eyes. He will try charming her every now and then. One day it'll work, right?

As for Maya, Asmo definitely caught her attention. He was stunning and kinda made her a bit insecure about herself. He was definitely the friendly type, she guessed it came with the territory of being "Avatar of Lust".

Getting to know him better showed that they clicked pretty well. They would tell each other juicy stories and share some more private stories with each other. Maya had to refrain from doing so for a while as Asmo would get too…excited and would want more explicit details of her more…intimate stories. Besides that, they both got along pretty well.

With the whole deal with Belphie, she felt pretty bad. She had hoped Asmo would see that she was just trying to help his family, like she always did and wouldn't take it to heart. She was very happy that Asmo accepted her apology.

Maya and Asmo were best friends after everything. Asmo would wipe away any insecurities that she would have by telling her how amazing and beautiful she is, take her out shopping, whatever it took. Asmo was basically Maya's hype man as Maya was his. Together they can take on anything!

Beel:

When Beel met Maya, she seemed…so small. Are humans supposed to be that small? It was kinda cute actually. When she introduced herself, Beel instinctively crouched down to meet her gaze yet he couldn't understand why she got all huffy. Cute.

Getting to know her, he got to see how lively she was, even for someone as small as her. She was like a firecracker and he enjoyed spending time with her. He also got to see how caring she was, trying to help his family anyway she can. It was something that drew his attention, family was important to him too so it definitely warmed his heart to see her care about them so much.

When Belphie came back, he was extremely grateful to Maya. She was helping him this whole time! He honestly couldn't thank her enough for helping Belphie in his time of need. He needed to get her out of there before Lucifer did something to her! He needs to repay her for all she's done and being her protector is just the start of that.

Seeing Maya dead to Belphie's hands…he honestly didn't know what to think. He knew Belphie hated humans but…why her? Couldn't he see, she was different, she was kind and caring and all she wanted to do was help him, help the family. He cares for Belphie but Maya was someone special as well. Seeing Maya alive, he couldn't help lift her into the air into a hug after Asmo. He couldn't be more thankful that she was alright.

Lilith…was alive and Maya is her distant descendent? He felt the weight of Lilith's "death" finally lifted off his shoulders. Even if it was just a little. He's happy that she was happy. As for Maya it's just another thing that makes her so amazing! He understands she isn't Lilith and Maya couldn't replace her. Yet, Maya was still just as special in her own way. She perfectly fits into the family.

He became extremely close to Maya. He always thought sharing food with her, spending time with her or simply relaxing in her room was the best. He just thinks she fits so perfectly in his embrace. He knows he cares for her but it's different. He couldn't exactly put his finger on this feeling he has and what he doesn't realize yet, his feelings were starting to grow into something more.

As for Maya, when she met Beel, she was pretty shocked how big he was to her, like everyone was already taller than her but, Beel and Diavolo were different on a whole nother level. Hey! You don't have to crouch down like I'm a kid! Though, she can tell by his smile that he means well.

Hanging out with Beel made her realize that he was basically a gentle giant. She honestly thought he was such a sweetheart. After getting to know each other better, he would tell Maya a few stories about him and his brothers, even some about when they were angels. All these stories fascinated her and she returned the gesture by telling him a few stories about her, her own older sisters and the rest of her family from the human realm.

It honestly warmed her heart to see Beel so happy to be with his twin again. It was a bit upsetting to see Beel blaming himself for what happened to Belphie. She tried to reassure him that he's not to blame, it's not like he could have known after all.

Maya and Beel were the best of friends when all was said and done. They hang out everyday, go out to eat at a new restaurant every Monday after R.A.D. and even try a new recipe whenever it's their turn to cook dinner. Maya spends almost as much time with Beel as she does with Mammon. Maya thinks as Beel as her best friend and admires him for his loyalty to his family. She knows family is important to him like it is to her and every passing day, Beel helps make her feel like she was truly part of the family. A home away from home.

Belphie:

When Belphie saw Maya walk up to the attic, he simply saw his ticket out of his prison. He didn't want anything to do with her yet, he needed her, to use her to get out. She was a human. Because of human's, Lilith died, they need to pay. All of them. For the time being, he'd play along, until he was free.

Though he would never admit it at the time, he was honestly glad to have her keep him company. Since the only other person who knew he was up here was Lucifer, it was nice to see someone else, anyone else. He still didn't like her because of her humanity but somehow, he was starting to notice how nice she was being, how determined she was to help him. She really shouldn't blindly place her trust on anyone she meets. It works out for him though, right?

Finally making his grand entrance, he loved the pissed off look on Lucifer's face, the shock on everyone else's and Beel…his twin, he really did miss his brother. It's unfortunate the Beel decided to drag him and Maya off, he'll have to take care of Maya at a different time but for now, he just wanted to spend time with Beel.

Killing Maya…was a rush. His mission was complete, the exchange program would crumble. Though at the same time, he had a pang of guilt. He couldn't really understand why nor did he really care. But, wait, she's alive?! How?! Why?! That is quite interesting, isn't it? But that pang of guilt is gone, slightly. He'll avenge Lilith. He's doing this for her.

No…no…no! It can't be true! It's a lie! Wait…it is true? Truly? But…if all that is true and Maya…he felt extremely guilty when the truth came into the light. Thanks to his brothers, the guilt he had for Lilith's fate is finally beginning to heal, he can finally start to move on. As for Maya…that's a whole new guilt to take form. He needed to fix this. He had to.

Belphie knew that Maya no longer trusted him, he could see her try to move past what happened but he noticed her new…ticks. She would fidget when she was around him, a hand rubbing the front of her neck, how her body would always be turned halfway to him, seemingly ready to bolt at any given moment. When he was in his demon form, he would see her visibly shaking. Even when they start to be friends, every now and then she'd flinch at his sudden movements or if he would get too upset about something. His demon form however was still out of the question for her. He knew that this would take a long time and he would wait patiently. He would wait forever if he had to, and if he's being honest with himself, he would be more than grateful for her to fully trust him again simply because he feels that he doesn't deserve it. He could never forgive himself for what he's done and he would do whatever it took for her to fully trust him again.

As for Maya, seeing Belphie locked in the attic was definitely a shock. What was he doing here? Why? He's a human, huh? But, he looks familiar. Wait, he was in the painting by the stairs, he's Belphie!

Getting to know the mysterious 7th brother, she couldn't put her finger on it but something was…off with Belphie. Something in the back of her mind was nagging at her but she ignored it. Sure, this family had its fair share of kinks but she wanted to help in any way she could. She simply wants to help.

She thought the reunion with Belphie wouldn't be this…tense. The nagging in the back of her mind was getting stronger by the minute as Belphie seemed to change, it was only a moment before Beel dragged us off but, something about him in that moment was a bit…unsettling to say the least.

Maya's trust in him was shattered. She hated him. After everything she had done, despite her gut instincts warning her of this, she still helped him and he killed her…well, she really wanted to hate him, she had every right to but yet, she understood that his hatred wasn't actually aimed at her but at humanity as a whole. She just got caught in the crossfire. For a while, she kept her distance from him. That was until Belphie had wanted to have a serious talk with her, to apologize. She agreed on the condition of having Mammon and Beel nearby to intervene if necessary. Once they cleared the air, she tried her best to move past it. It was hard. Very hard. It would take her an extremely long time for her to get over her new ticks she developed because of him and even longer for her to trust him again. She would forgive him but she could never, never forget.

[eponinemylove]

Headcanons about the Andrew( and the foxes) figuring out some of the fucked up things Neil’s mom did. Like I’ve always had a head canon that she is the reason he says he’s fine all the time

for sure! I have a lot of feelings about Mary Hartford. I want to say that if the conversation does ever manage to come up, Neil would immediately jump to his mother’s defense. We see everything she did through his memories of her, and while we can recognize it as abuse, Neil still thinks of her fondly. She was the only family he really had, and in his eyes, everything she did was out of necessity, if not love (CW: abuse)

(side note, I’ve briefly talked about aaron’s reaction before as part of a different post, and I stand by that. I’ve also brushed upon the subject of Mary and Neil being “fine” when I did a sort of sickfic hc!)

let me just start by saying how awful this news would be for the foxes. Like, it’s awful in general because what she did was fucked up, but their poor hearts… They managed the Nest. They managed Baltimore. They managed Drake (although that was Andrew’s past not Neil’s, they were still there for the murder and everything that followed). They have been through heartbreak after heartbreak for this kid who not only went through these things but thought, on some level, that he deserved them. So they really can’t take finding out that his mother—who Neil openly condones—is also one of his ghosts. They can’t take finding out that she’s partly the reason why he doesn’t swing, why he can’t trust, why he runs and hides and lies, why he doesn’t think he can have this. And if that wasn’t hard enough, to find out that Neil thinks this is okay, that this is fine—it’s too much to handle.

Andrew’s first reaction, predictably, is murder. This doesn’t quite work out for him, as Mary’s already dead, but the urge he feels to drain the life from her himself is frankly concerning. The second the words are leaving Neil’s mouth, the second all his suspicions are confirmed (because let’s be real, Andrew knew someone had hurt Neil, and his father had been too many steps behind him to cause that much damage), he sees red. Full on, knives out, burning rage. He’s shaking with it. You can tell he’s feeling an emotion, because he’s not grumbling about anything. He’s gone into quiet rage, the dangerous kind, in which he silently plots all the ways he can gruesomely arrange your departure from existence.

for a split second, the upperclassmen think that his anger is directed at Neil, and they subtly move in to block him from Andrew’s war path. This works out well for no one, because Andrew needs Neil in his line of sight right now to know he’s safe and here, and anyone who even thinks of touching this boy after what he’s just confessed to happening to him is getting stabbed. Repeatedly. It’s not their fault for assuming, though. They saw what happened with him and Aaron after this sort of thing, and they just want to shield Neil from that fallout. He’s been through enough

The only thing that manages to calm him down even somewhat is Neil himself. He holds Andrew’s gaze, doesn’t hide under it. He looks him straight in the eye. He is fine, now. He isn’t hurt. He’s with Andrew, and Andrew is going to keep him safe, and Mary is dead, and there’s nothing for them to fight anymore.

except there is, there is, because Neil is stupid. Neil is an idiot who doesn’t know the meaning of the word fine, who has never been fine a day in his life. this was never okay. he’s worse than Aaron, because at least Aaron came to his senses eventually. but Neil, even after everything, is still standing there, defending her. it makes his blood boil. 140%. 170. 200.

Later, Andrew has to physically restrain himself from pulling him into a bruising kiss. He makes a tangible effort to be as gentle with Neil as he can, because he refuses to show him that love should be rough. It shouldn’t. He holds Neil’s hand and kisses his knuckles, runs his hands softly through his hair. He shows him all the way touches should feel when coming from someone you trust. Neil thinks it isn’t necessary but he accepts it with a stuttering heart anyway. His hands shake.

Aaron is seething, but for an entirely different reason. He’s furious, because how does Neil not realize that they’re the exact same? Neil gave him so much shit when he was upset over his mother, but now he has the audacity to stand here and spout this crap? The only thing holding him back from beating the shit out of Josten himself is Andrew’s presence, radiating wrath from beside him. If he took a step in the wrong direction, his brother might genuinely kill him this time. It doesn’t matter. Neil went on and on and on about how Andrew was protecting him, how his mother was not someone who loved him but someone who hurt him, and how he should be glad she’s gone. And… and then this? No. No. Neil doesn’t get to love his mother after that. Mary hit him. She beat him to a pulp herself, nevermind what she said she was protecting him from. He wasn’t allowed to have friends, to talk to people, to go outside. He wasn’t allowed to speak. He’d had to keep his head down. Yeah, it sounds familiar. It sounds like Aaron’s quiet footsteps around the house, hoping to god he wouldn’t wake up Tilda. It sounds like him trying not to make himself seen when she came home after a night of using, like ducking his head and not meeting the eyes of her or anyone she brought home. It sounds like her fists on him when she was in one of her moods. It sounds really fucking familiar, and if Neil thinks he’s going to drop this, he is dead wrong.

Neil did not leave well enough alone when it was Aaron. He would not stop rubbing salt on the wound. And it hurt, a lot, but now Aaron is going to do the same. Not just for petty vengeance. Not just because Neil is a dick and this is payback. But because it helped. Aaron and Andrew are not on the same page about the way they feel, but they are about what to do next. Priority one is make sure Neil moves on, make sure he recognizes why Mary was wrong, and why it will never happen again, as long as any of the foxes have a say in it. 

Matt and Nicky have the exact same reaction, which to immediately have their heart shattered. They’re in tears. Matt cares about Neil so, so much, and I know the fandom recognizes this, but I don’t know if people realize how deeply Nicky cares, too. It’s more than just cracking jokes; Neil is one of Nicky’s best friends. They’re going to make damn sure that Neil knows they will love him unconditionally, and that their love does not come heavy-handed. They will support him through this, even if they hate Mary for everything she had conditioned into him. Already they’re planning what they can do to get his mind off of this and get him smiling again as soon as possible. Nicky will probably push Neil harder than Matt, and it will probably be the wrong thing to do, but he’s trying so hard. He’s done this before, with Andrew and Aaron, and as heartbreaking as it was, he continues to do it because he loves them. And he loves Neil, too. Both Matt and Nicky already have adoption papers at the ready, and at this point they’re going to forge the signatures, consequences be damned, if it means Neil gets a happy life. 

Kevin doesn’t have much to say about it when he finds out. I imagine he handles it with all of his usual finesse and sensitivity, which is none. He probably, not too gently, points out that Mary had a job to keep him safe from harm, all harm, and failed spectacularly at it. It’s not exactly helpful, but he does have a point. And when he get Neil alone, he offers to talk to him about it. He may not have been through the same thing, but he’s been through something similar enough. He had no family at the Nest, but at the same time they were the only ones he had, and they weren’t exactly gentle with him at the best of times. Riko and the Master weren’t Mary, but... they weren’t all that different, either. Like everything else, Kevin is there if he needs him. 

Dan and Allison stare him down. They sympathize, they do, because this is awful, but they are not going to give him an inch. They don’t have time to coddle his feelings about his mother, and god help him if they hear an “I’m fine” fall from his lips. They’ll hold him, if he lets them, and they’ll be as soft and gentle as he needs, but they won’t give in to this. They aren’t going to pretend that he’s right–he’s not. HIs mother wasn’t what he remembers. She’s a complicated character. They’re not calling her evil; maybe she did what she had to, and maybe it was for the best. But it wasn’t right. They are steadfast in that. It wasn’t right. Neil can accept that when he’s ready, and when he does they will be there for him, taking care of him in their unassuming way so that he doesn’t feel like they’re walking on eggshells. He’s so grateful to have them. Grateful that they don’t push, but don’t give in either. Some of the strongest people he’s known…

Renee is the one who actually talks him through it. All the others are ready with their pitchforks, about to burn Mary at the stake, but she understands. She walks with him through everything, the good and the bad, and lets him come to his own conclusion. She listens to him when he feels like talking about what is was like, and talks about her own mother when he doesn’t. She shows him, subtly, what a parental figure is supposed to look like through her own stories. Lets him realize that sometimes the people who care don’t get it right, but that there are still others who love you, and that love doesn’t have to come with pain. 

Bonus:

(Ik you didn’t ask, and this is probably too long already, but) Wymack and Abby find out about this indirectly, likely through either Andrew or Matt. Wymack had known from the beginning this would have been the case, but he’d had no idea it had come from his mother. It hurts him, that no one had ever been careful with Neil the way he needed. He doesn’t realize that he had been, though. Wymack hadn’t raised his voice, hadn’t made himself big in front of Neil. He had been careful to keep his anger far, far away and had always been there when Neil needed him. Wymack is his true father. Or mother. Or whatever. 

Abby does what she does with Aaron: she gives him space. She knows that he’s probably never seen a woman in a comforting light before, and she waits to make sure that he’s okay with her presence before she gets anywhere near close to him. She lets him come to her, and, like Wymack, makes sure Neil knows that if she ever gets frustrated, that she would never take it out on him. They start the very slow process of showing Neil what it is like to be loved and cared for by someone who wants only to see you happy. Neil loves his family so, so much. He would choose them a thousand times over. 

[schnees-and-schnugs]

I’m going to create a canon divergence that is so self indulgent- *insert willow-whitley and kitty AU*

This is a concept I want to write in multiple short parts until I get bored and wear it out- so consider this just a pt. 1

I also wrote this with these last few   fics in mind, so you can think of this as a continuation of those. Or not. But a lot of the same themes do apply.

This is probably going to be first fic that I don’t write in one/two sittings but my classes are a pain in the ass ;_;

tw: eating disorder, alcoholism 

_______________________________________________________________

  “I want a cat.”

  Willow blinked. “What?”

  Her son fidgeted nervously on his feet. “A cat. I want to adopt a cat.”

  Well this is a... surprise. 

  Despite her and Whitley having lived on their own in Patch for a few months, he’s hardly spoken a world to her since the fall of Atlas. Or spoken a word to anyone, really. She put it up to the radically new environment, and well, the fact that Atlas is gone, the SDC is in shambles, and Jacques had been MIA (probably dead) since the fall. Winter and Weiss had insisted that Willow and Whitley settle down somewhere quiet and safe, and the islands off the coast of Vale weren’t exactly next on Salem’s attack checklist. 

  It was two of Weiss’ teammates who suggested they head to Patch, even offering to let their father know about their arrival. Willow had gently denied the kind offer, saying that Tai Xiao Long didn’t need to bother with them. They’ll be fine. She pretending not to notice the look on all their faces: a depressed alcoholic and her previously isolated, emotionally traumatized son?  Fine on their own? 

  She had then turned around, gathered Whitley (who was sitting on the bench behind her, ignoring attempts made by a few of Weiss’ companions to cheer him up even a little), and bought tickets for the next ship going from Vacuo to Vale.

  Yet when the ship docked on the shore of the island, there stood a blonde, muscular man with a sign that read: Willow and Whitley Schnee, Welcome! in sharpie. He must have saw the confusion (and honestly a little fear) on her face from his standpoint on the harbor because he had quickly flipped the sign over and scribbled on it before holding it up again. My name is Tai Xiao Long. Yang and Ruby’s Father.

  It seems that Weiss’ friends didn’t listen to me.

  Nevertheless, Willow had breathed a sigh of relief. She had quite a few run ins with people on the journey east who recognized her and/or Whitley. The interactions have ranged from stares that were a little too long to pure hostility. It also didn’t help that some people thought it was okay to just grab any well known person they see- she almost broke a man’s arm after he had suddenly seized Whitley’s wrist and jerked him around. He’d probably be dead if Winter and Weiss were there, but Willow had settled on ripping the mans arm away with a glyph and dragging Whitley off quickly.  

  And now here they are, three months later and Willow was drinking a can of soda while enjoying the afternoon breeze on the front porch of their little cabin when Whitley approached her.

  “A cat. I want to adopt a cat.”

  She looked up at her son’s face and saw a familiar look of apprehension that everyone in their family had when faced with the prospect of having to ask for anything. Of course, before it usually involved asking Jacques, or begging more so. Willow had to approach this carefully or else Whitley is just going to recede back into his shell and not speak a word for another three months.

  “Well... we can ask Mr. Xiao Long about it. He surely would know about any animal shelters around here.”

  He scrunched up his nose, a face that she knew in Whitley Terms meant yeah okay... but I’m not happy about it.

  Willow knew better than to suspect that Whitley disliked Mr. Xiao Long specifically. He avoided everyone these days- friendly neighbors, SDC businessmen, etc. Tai had made sure they were comfortable every step of the way. He had shown them around, introduced them to soon-to-be friends, brought them into his home for meals until Willow figured out her way around a kitchen, even invited Whitley to study at Signal Academy. He refused, but Willow appreciated the offer. And she knew Whitley appreciated it too, but he’s having a hard enough time coming to terms with Willow’s protectiveness of him, much less accept the fact that a stranger may also care slightly about him.   

 “Then what do you suggest we do?” Willow couldn’t help but to smile at his childish apprehension. She relished any show of adolescence in her son these days. After years of walking on eggshells and maintaining a facade just short of perfection, he needed to clumsily blunder around like any young teenager would do.

  Whitley tugged at his long red sleeves. “There’s a stray kitten that comes around here at night...” 

  “You have that one in mind?”

  He nodded. “I always hear it meowing outside my window. I want to try to bring it inside- I leave scraps outside my window but it always disappears by the time the sun rises. Maybe if I could get it to come to the porch... In Atlas, they said in the animal shelter that it takes a few weeks to socialize a kitten.”

  He started at her expectantly. Willow had forgotten that Whitley would occasionally volunteer at one of the few animal shelters in Atlas. Jacques only allowed him to go just so he could milk all the PR he could out of it, obviously. But to this day, she had never actually heard Whitley speak about it unprompted. It must have been something he genuinely liked if he was so quiet about it. He knew full well that any hobby that he actually outwardly enjoyed was the first on Jacques’ chopping block if Whitley ever slipped up. 

  Willow stood up on the porch steps and faced her son. “Very well then. Tonight we’ll leave food out on the front porch and watch to see if it comes by.”

  Whitley’s face brightened for the first time in months. “Really?”

  “Mmhm.” She hummed. “Hopefully soon enough the kitten will like us and come inside...”

  Willow’s chest ached at the overwhelming surprise on his face. Asking Jacques for anything always came with a catch, a quid pro quo. Looking back, Willow always knew love was a transaction to him. But being young and blinded by the man- she just accepted it as a slight character flaw. Whitley didn���t know anything other than this.

  She was going to get him this kitten even if she had to crawl in the shrubbery at midnight looking for it.

  For the next few hours he assisted Willow in the kitchen for the first time since they got to Patch. Mostly because he wanted to get the kittens food out as fast as he could, but she wasn’t complaining. She watched as Whitley cut up a cooked chicken breast into bite sized little pieces, his tongue slightly sticking out as he concentrated. She wondered, briefly, if it was safe to allow him to handle a kitchen knife. Willow shook the thought away. He isn’t a child. She wouldn’t insult him by treating him like one. But she still had to be a mother... if it wasn’t too late.

  She tried to be as hands off as she could in these last few months while trying to muster what parental authority she could without scaring Whitley away. He was free to spend his time to do whatever he liked just as long as it was safe and he went to bed on time. Eating three solid meals a day was also a requirement, but that was a sensitive issue that Willow didn’t know how to approach with conviction. He has been cooperative for the most part in this aspect- which came as a surprise since Whitley has spent years trying to maintain whatever little control he had over his own life by strictly regulating what went inside his mouth and when. Which often meant very little eating.

  Willow didn’t want to name the condition out loud. If she did, then it would become a problem. Then she would have to admit that all of this still wasn’t enough to fix everything. Then she would start wanting a drink-

  Maybe everyone was right. Maybe her and Whitley were simply too broken to be able to live on their own.

  But they haven’t been living on their own, have they? Mr. Xiao Long still came by a few times a week to “check up on how y’all are adapting”, as he says. More like to make sure I’m not passed out drunk and Whitley hadn’t taken the opportunity to jump off a cliff, Willow thought bitterly.

  She still didn’t know how much Weiss and her friends told him - but they must have been pretty honest if he was going to be this concerned. Willow cringed at the thought of how he must see her - a failure of a mother. Not only that, but one who’s too afraid to confront the fact that her son is sick and needs help, but she can’t help because she’s not enough-

  “I’m done.”

  Willow blinked out of her increasingly chaotic thoughts to see Whitley holding a small bowl of chopped chicken, staring at her expectantly.

  Maybe I should stop thinking so much.

  “Lets put it out on the front porch then,” Willow grabbed both their plates of spaghetti off the kitchen counter. “We can eat by the window and watch for the kitten.”

  Whitley frowned. “Can we keep the front door open? Maybe if it sees us enough times then it will get used to us eventually.”

  “Whatever you want darling,” She replied, already on her way to the living room.

  And so they sat eating dinner, she on the edge of the couch and he on the floor on front of the open door. They sat in silence, but it was a comfortable one - Whitley watching the outside intently for the kitten and Willow watching him absentmindedly eat. A few minutes turned into an hour and she began to wonder if the kitten was going to show tonight, but a tiny scampering sound brought her and her son back to attention.

  The kitten emerged from the shrubbery.

  It was beautiful.

  It was small, only about a few weeks old. Its pitch black fur made it almost impossible to see without the aid of the moonlight. Its little white socks on its paws and glowing eyes gave it away as it inched slowly towards the now cold bowl of chicken. 

  Willow held her breath, and she knew Whitley was too. The kitten tentatively ate from the bowl, unaware of the two humans watching it. It seemed about half way through when Whitley, unknowing, leaned forward- causing his now empty plate to slide off his lab and hit the wood floor. The sound wasn’t loud, but in the silence of the night it was like a gunshot.

  The kitten’s head snapped up, ears perked in attention. For an almost comical millisecond, the kitten stared at the two of them and they stared back, everyone wide eyed. Then it turned and ran off back where it came, leaving behind nothing but a bowl of half eaten chicken.

  Willow braced herself for Whitley’s inevitable disappointment. But instead, when she turned toward him she saw an expression of joy. His eyes are brighter than she had ever seen them, not since he was a child.

  “She’s a girl,” He said.

  She furrowed her brow. “How do you know that?”

  “When she turned around and ran - I saw her backside. I think she’s a girl.”

  Willow smiled. “Very well then. One discovery is good enough for tonight.”

  Standing up, she reached for both of their used dishes and softly closed the front door shut. “Time for bed.”

    Whitley didn’t complain. He headed off the bed while Willow cleaned up the kitchen- a menial task that she never had to do back in atlas. But she found a peace in it. If given the choice, she would take a lifestyle of chores over the decadent one she had before. Ten times out of ten. This felt real.

  In the back of her mind, she remembered the chicken left outside. After considering, she decided to leave it out in case the kitten came back. She would make sure that Whitley would have this kitten eventually. It was the least she could do.

[dlwritings]

Explode | Tom Holland

masterlist found here

pairing - roommate!Tom x reader word count - 2,771 warnings - language A/N - for the anon who requested x

summary - Things between you and Tom have been tense, and you can’t figure out why for the life of you. At an engagement party for your sister, emotions run a little too high, and one of you is bound to explode.

You and Tom had been in a bad place lately. You weren’t sure what it was, but something was causing a serious strain in your relationship. Well, not relationship. Friendship. Roommateship. Whatever.

Tom had been abnormally snippy about everything. No matter what you did, you set him off. You guys lived together. You had for a long time, and you had been friends for even longer. All of a sudden, things changed. It was like one day he woke up in a shitty mood that never went away. Never in all your years together had his attitude been like this. All you wanted was for him to talk to you, but he wouldn’t open up, and you didn’t want to press.

In reality, you should’ve pressed. This was your best friend, for god’s sake. It wasn’t pressing to talk out a bump in your friendship. But you were a peacekeeper at heart, and the last thing you wanted to do was start a fight. Still, it was getting to be a little much, and you had no idea how to handle it. So you did what you always do. Ignored it and hoped it went away on your own.

You were at home when your sister FaceTimed you with her announcement. The ring on her finger was huge, and you couldn’t contain your squeal of excitement. “Oh my god!” you said. “It’s beautiful!”

“Thank you,” she gushed. You were sitting alone in bed with your headphones in so you could have some privacy while you chatted with her. “We’re having an engagement party on Saturday. You and Tom will come right?” At that, your face dropped a bit. You hoped she wouldn’t notice, but the two of you had always been close, so she could read you well. “What’s wrong?” You glanced at the door to your room -it was closed- then looked back at the screen. “He’s home?”

“Yeah,” you said.

“Alright,” she said. “I’ll try and ask yes or no questions.” You managed a smile and nodded. “Are you guys fighting?”

“I don’t know,” you said. “I think so?”

“For how long?”

“Ages now I feel like. But I have no idea why.” You wanted to dive into more detail, but you were scared Tom might overhear you. “Let me text you.” She agreed, so you hung up and opened your messages.

He’s been so pissy and I have no idea why

Have you tried talking to him?

I don’t know how! I don’t want to turn it all into a big thing

If he’s mad at you don’t you want to know why?

Yeah but what if he wants me to move out or something?

Wouldn’t you rather know than walk around him on eggshells?

Honestly I don’t know. If we’re like this I can pretend like we’re normal but if I find out he hates me our whole relationship will come crashing down

You’re still pretty crazy about him, huh?

I don’t want to talk about it

I’m sorry :( Is there anything I can do to help?

Nah. Just pretend like everything’s fine if we come on Saturday. Hopefully he’ll do the same. If he agrees

When you finished texting your sister, you decided to go talk to Tom about the party. He was sitting in the living room playing video games, and you felt yourself tense as soon as you saw him. You didn’t want to interrupt his game, knowing doing so would likely set him off. So, you sat on the other end of the couch and started scrolling through Instagram to occupy yourself until he was done.

“Damn it!” he shouted after a few minutes. He dropped the controller on his lap and ran a hand through his hair. You tentatively looked up at him to see his jaw clenched. Had his video game made him mad enough that he’d explode at you? God, everything made him mad these days. There was no guessing what would make him explode.

“Hey,” you said, clearing your throat awkwardly, “um, can I ask you something real quick? Or are you, if you have to start another game or whatever it can wait.”

“No, what’s up?” he asked with a heavy sigh, turning to look at you. He tucked one of his legs under himself and pulled his other up to his chest.

“I just got a call from my sister,” you said, “and she just got engaged.”

“Cool,” Tom said halfheartedly. He picked up his phone, clearly assuming the conversation was over. You felt that familiar pit in your stomach -the one you got every time you talked to him these days- but continued.

“She’s having a party on Saturday,” you said. “Do you want to, uh-” You cleared your throat. “Do you want to go with me?” Quickly, you added, “We don’t have to stay long. It’s just a big day for her and I told her I’d be there, and she asked if you’d go, and-”

“Fine,” he huffed. “Whatever. We can go.”

“Don’t sound so excited,” you mumbled.

“I’m not gonna pretend like I’m excited to socialize with people I don’t know while your sister flaunts her engagement,” he said.

“You don’t have to go,” you said. “I can go by myself.”

“What, so your sister can convince you I’m a shitty friend?” he said sarcastically.

“She wouldn’t do that,” you said, lowering your voice and hoping he might do the same.

“Your sister would gossip about a rock if she had the chance,” he said. You pressed your lips into a tight line and picked at your fingernails. “What time is it at?” he asked.

“I’m not sure,” you said. “I’ll keep you posted.”

-

The party on Saturday was at 7:00 in the evening. It was a cocktail party with all of your sister and fiance’s friends and family, and you knew you’d need at least two drinks to feel comfortable. You got dressed in a short red floral dress and a jean jacket and curled your hair. By the time you were satisfied, Tom had been ready for a few minutes already. He was sitting on the couch on his phone waiting for you. When you walked out of the room, you held onto this twinge of hope that he would compliment you. That he would at least look at you in a way that made you feel beautiful. Just like he used to. He was always your biggest hype man.

He didn’t.

The drive to the party was quiet conversation wise. The only sound was the hum of the radio and your occasional direction, telling him how to get to the rooftop terrace the party was being held at. When you got out of the car, you hoped he would hold your hand -you guys held hands a lot- but he didn’t. You glanced at him, but his eyes were trained ahead. Holding back a sigh, you pressed the button for the elevator, and the two of you headed up to the party.

There was a DJ, a bar, lights, and tons of people littering the roof. You locked eyes with your sister right away and she squealed and ran over to you. You held your arms out to embrace her in a hug. Her fiance wasn’t far behind. When you looked at Tom, he had his camera ready smile on. From the outside looking in, no one would know anything was wrong between the two of you. And that was the goal.

“Congratulations,” Tom said to your sister and her fiance.

“Thank you for coming,” your sister said to him.

“Of course,” he said, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. Your sister eyed you curiously, but you wouldn’t meet her gaze.

You and Tom wandered around and socialized. Tom was an expert at pretending. He was an actor for a reason, after all.

“Attention, everybody!”

You turned to the direction of the DJ booth to find your sister holding a microphone. “We just want to thank you for coming out tonight,” she said. “Matt and I are so lucky to have so many amazing and supportive people in our lives.” Matt was standing in the crowd, smiling up at his fiance. He was so in love. You could see it in his eyes. “When I first met Matt, I just thought he was the biggest dork. Honestly, I didn’t see myself ever dating him, let alone marrying him. I mean at first, I didn’t even like him. But then, then I did. And then I started to love him. And now, I can’t see myself with anybody but him.”

You glanced at Tom but his eyes weren’t on you. He was watching your sister, so you couldn’t get a good read on how he was feeling or what he was thinking. You hated that.

“One of our favorite shows to watch together is Parks and Recreation,” your sister said. “And the two main characters have this thing where they say I love you and I like you. When I look at us, that’s what I think. I always think about how lucky I am to have found someone that I love and genuinely like. I like spending time with you. I like listening to you talk, even if it’s over the dumbest stuff. I like who you are, and I like who I am when I’m with you. I don’t just love you, Matt. I like you. I like you so much. And I think there’s so much weight in that.” She lifted her glass with teary eyes and a wide smile. “So here’s to spending forever with the person you love and like. Cheers.”

Everyone chorused back cheers, and your sister handed the microphone back to the DJ. He began to play a slow song, and you saw your sister’s fiance approach her with an extended hand. The two of them made their way to the dance floor along with a few other couples. You turned to Tom with a nervous smile.

When did being around your best friend make you this nervous? This uncomfortable?

“Do you want to dance?” you asked him. Tom looked at you for the first time since your sister started speaking, and all he did was shake his head and walk past you, making his way to the bar.

This is over, isn’t it?

You sat at a table by yourself and put your chin in your hand. You stared off at your sister with tears in your eyes. You were so happy for her, obviously, but your heart couldn’t help but feel broken. It didn’t take a genius to know that whatever was going on between you and Tom was leading to the end. Your friendship was falling apart, and there was no way to stop it. After tonight, you’d have to move out. There was no other option. Not if he was going to keep treating you like this.

Tom downed another sip of his drink and stared at the crowd of people on the dance floor. He couldn’t help but let his eyes wander over to you. You. His best friend. The love of his life. God, where had everything gone wrong?

Of course, he knew where it all went wrong. 

About two months ago, Tom came home from a day of working on the script he was writing with his brothers. It had been a long day, and he was ready to fall into bed. When he came home, he found you dancing in the kitchen making brownies. You were wearing one of his shirts, a pair of pajama shorts, and some fuzzy socks, and you were singing along to some One Direction that you had blasting through your bluetooth speaker.

He knew then that he was head over heels in love with you, and he probably had been for a long time.

And that just wouldn’t do.

Because there was no way he was going to fuck up your friendship like that. This was his fault. Sam, Harry, and Harrison all told him he’d fall in love with you if you moved in, but he assured them they were wrong. You had been friends for ages. There was no way your relationship would change, and if it did, he certainly wouldn’t be the one to change it. And yet, here he was. Watching you cry at your sister’s engagement party because he was too much of a pussy to tell you how he felt.

Tom got snapped out of his trance when he saw you stand up from where you were sitting and rush off to the exit. You weren’t out of his sight before you wiped your fingers under your eyes. Without any hesitation, he stood up and rushed after you.

“(Y/N)!”

You kept walking despite Tom calling after you. All you wanted was to go in the bathroom and compose yourself. You had to get through this party for your sister. And while you didn’t want to face Tom right then and there, he was faster than you, and he was able to catch up and grab your arm.

“What?” you asked, your voice cracking. “What do you want?”

“I just-” He hesitated. “Are you okay?”

You laughed.

You actually laughed, though it was full of sadness and made your stomach queasy.

“No, Tom,” you said. “I’m the exact opposite of okay. Because I, I don’t know what’s going on with you, and it’s killing me. For the past few months you have been, you’ve been blowing me off and yelling at me and ignoring me and, and I just don’t know what I did wrong. You’re my best friend, Tom. And it’s killing me that I don’t know what’s going on. Everyday I’m scared to be in the same room as you because I feel like you’re going to explode when I breathe. I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure this out, and I can’t do it.” You laughed again, throwing your hands in the air. “So you have to talk to me! Because if you don’t, if you don’t tell me what’s going on, I’m going home, and I’m packing my shit, and I’m leaving.”

Tom opened his mouth and closed it again. He felt stuck. He was trapped. Tell you how he felt, or let you run away?

When you were sure he wasn’t going to say anything, you started to turn, but Tom stopped you. He grabbed your arm again, pulled you close to him, wrapped his arms around you, and kissed you. Immediately, you pushed him away. Tom felt his heart drop to his stomach as you searched his eyes for what was happening. He figured you must’ve found what you were looking for, because you stood on your tiptoes and kissed him back.

You didn’t know how long you were standing there, but eventually you pulled away. You stayed on your tiptoes, keeping your forehead pressed to his. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’ve been such a dick lately. It’s just-” He hesitated and closed his eyes, gaining the courage to speak. “I love you, (Y/N). And I’ve been really scared of ruining our friendship, so I thought I should just push you away instead.”

You scoffed. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. You should’ve just talked to me. Clearly I feel the same way.”

“Well it’s clear now,” he chuckled. “But it’s never been clear before.”

You sighed. “You still should’ve talked to me. I’ve been hurting for so long. I thought I did something wrong.”

“I know,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.” He nuzzled his nose against yours, and you couldn’t help but giggle. “You really love me?”

“I know,” you said with a roll of your eyes. “I can’t believe it either.” Tom licked his lips, swallowed nervously, and closed his eyes.

“I need to hear you say it,” he said. You frowned and pulled back to stroke his cheek. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I just-”

“Hey,” you whispered, running your thumbs across his cheekbones. He glanced up at you with his puppy-dog eyes. “I love you, Tom. I really do.” He smiled softly, then sighed and hung his head.

“And I know I can’t fix all of this with a kiss and an I-love-you,” he said.

“No,” you whispered. “That’s true.”

“But I swear, (Y/N), I’ll make it up to you. Whatever it takes.”

You nodded and mirrored his nervous smile. “I just need some time,” you said. “And lots of cuddles,” you added.

He chuckled. “Like I said. Whatever it takes.”

----- ----- ----- -----

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[idle-writer]

think before (6)

THINK BEFORE (6)

pairing: rk800 connor x reader

warnings: none

chapters: MASTERLIST

A/N: Thank you so much for your patience as always! There will be a message to readers on the ending notes. Hope you enjoy reading! :)

“Look, as I’ve said before. The faster you give us the information we need, the faster you can leave.”

“No, no. I won’t speak to you either, old man.”

You glare at the woman through the large mirror of the interrogation room.

“Tell you what. I’ll only speak to the cute droid boy earlier. Is he there?”

Connor is silently standing next to you. The woman look straight at the mirror, making you groan in disgust when she started winking and making kissy faces at your direction. She has been constantly flirting with or rather at Connor the whole time after you pick her up.

-----

You are seating at the passenger seat, eyes on the rear view mirror, regretting calling shotgun.

“If only I knew the DPD has someone like you, I would’ve come sooner.” She is seated way to close to Connor, her hand twirling and smoothing the android’s tie. Connor is looking down at her hand, but not making an attempt to remove it or whatever, and for some reason, it pisses you off. “You can even cuff me, officer."

Oh that’s it. You awkwardly clear your throat so hard you feel like it will feel raw later but at least the woman inched away from Connor, but not before she gave you a wolfish smirk. You choose to ignore her, your eyes fleeting to Connor whose own set is now fixed at you through the mirror. He tilts his head cutely slightly to the side, as if asking if there’s something wrong. You roll your eyes, sighing, choosing to look out the window instead. How can someone be both smart and stupid at the same time?

You hear Hank snigger at your side. Great, even Hank thinks it’s funny now.

“No, you’re the one who’s funny,” he remarks, his eyes are focused on the road but you can see them crinkle in mirth.

“What did I do?” you asked in hushed whisper for which he only shakes his head in answer. Knowing you won’t get anything else from him, you stare out your side of the window, throwing glares at random objects passing by, not knowing the android seated at the passenger seat has his eyes on you the whole time.

The second Hank put the car on park, you immediately bolt from your seat and onto the passenger door. Sending a sickeningly sweet smile at the woman, you escort her out of the vehicle, purposely slamming the door shut, escorting the woman into the precinct. Okay, maybe you’re still upset

Hank is supposed to get out of his seat when Connor speaks. “Did I do something, Lieutenant? The detective seems upset with something I did.”

“Oh for god’s sake, you ask her. I’m not playing cupid for both you.” Hank huffs before exiting the vehicle, leaving an even more confused android.

-----

Connor suddenly calls your name, unintentionally making you send your murder glare (aimed at the woman) at him, the intensity of it making him worry even more if that’s possible. “Did I do something to upset you?”

His voice is so small you can’t help but instantly soften your eyes. You feel bad, because 1.) He looks genuinely sorry about something he doesn’t know he did and, 2.) you know he did nothing wrong .

“I-“ Your voice cracks, your throat raw both from the silence and your stint earlier. You open your mouth to explain but Hank is already opening the door. You didn’t even notice him exit the interrogation room.

“Connor, you’re up.”

Connor just stands in his place as if he didn’t hear the lieutenant. He just stands there, waiting for you to say something

Hank clicks his tongue in annoyance, “Connor.”

Connor is jolted from his reverie. He gives you one last look then he turned to Hank, giving him a nod before exiting the room.

When he already disappeared from the room, you let out a breath you didn’t know you held. You watch as Connor waltz in the interrogation room, voice clear, completely professional. Unlike the Connor who was standing with you a few seconds ago. You can’t stop the small smile that formed in your face.

“He asked me if he did something to upset you.” Hank is not looking at you as he speaks. “Told him to talk to you cause I’m not playing fucking cupid for you, kids.”

It’s your turn to smirk at him now. “So why are you telling me this?”

Hank shrugs. “Because you’re both idiots, that’s why.”

Hank isn’t going to admit it but he rather have you and Connor look like lovesick puppies than kicked ones.

-----

You sit on your desk, too lazy tired to do paperwork. Today is oddly exhausting, more than usual.  Connor was able to coax the information out of the woman so at least she’s gone now. You laid your head on your desk, sighing deeply. You catch a whiff of something. Feeling a presence beside you, you turned your head to see Connor holding a paper cup to your direction.

“Ginger tea. It’ll help with your throat."

You sit up, mumbling a soft ‘thanks’, before taking the cup from his hand, your fingers slightly brushing his.

He stands awkwardly beside your desk and again you feel bad. He seems to be walking in eggshells around you now.

“Connor, why don’t you pull up a chair so we can talk?”

-----

Hank drops a ton of paper at your desk, making your laughter cease. “I see you’ve kissed and made up.”

“Well, we haven’t kissed yet but we definitely made up.” You quip, sending a toothy grin at Connor.

“Detective is just explaining why our informant wanted me to cuff her. Apparently, it's a form of sexual- ”

You beam proudly at Connor, nodding, while Hank grimaces at you, grumbling at how you're back to your old ways of corrupting the boy.

--------

A/N: Not sure if any of you will read this but if you do, thank you! I just want to let you know that even though I'm starting to write outside of DBH, this fic is my happy place, and I'm extremely grateful for your patience and your comments (they're a delight to read). Anyway, have a great day to you all. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. :)

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[kingarise]

There is Only One Master of Me

Blue eyes gazed around the chamber with thinly veiled distaste, tapping a nail on her goblet in an attempt to calm herself but it only made her more agitated. As if sensing the young human’s loosely leashed temper, the other beings at the party shied away from her, giving her a large berth, walking past her as if on eggshells and those closest to her containing their gossip to whispers. Not that it helped. Lucette already knew what they were whispering about, the constant glances between her and her target of wrath making it obvious.

Everyone heard about the rejection of the marriage proposal by her father. Everyone knows about his failure of the Wolf Knight’s grand test.

And everyone most certainly knew that Lucette was furious with her once lover. Alessio had failed her. Whatever task her father has asked of the man had apparently been too great for the god kin to handle and he refused. And thus, Artorias refused him as well. As soon as her father told her about Alessio’s refusal to his question, Lucette felt her heart burn with the flames of wrath and throb with the sharp sting of betrayal and heartbreak.

    ‘How did I manage to fall in love with such a coward?! Surely whatever Papa asked him couldn’t have been so arduous to cause a God kin much difficulty! Was he too unintelligent to complete the task or was his pride too stiff to bend? Matters not. If he could not handle Papa, then he most certainly would not have been able to handle me as a wife. What an embarrassment.’

Worse thing was, he had the audacity to show his face at the party and was throwing her longing glances from across the crowd. And yet, still cowered away from her instead of walking up to her himself. Despite his failure, he still expected her to do the work?! Useless!

   ‘Fine. He wants a show, he’ll get one. And the main jester will be him, not me.’ Lucette decided, throwing back the rest of her wine and slamming the cup on the table, standing up, drawing people’s attention.

Thankfully for her, Lord Gwyn wasn’t present at this event. Unfortunately for her, that meant that Ornstein surveyed the event in his place. Symbolic, of course. A statement from the King that whether he was physically present or not, he had eyes and ears everywhere. Hopefully she won’t get another 5 hour lecture about her undignified behavior after this. Or worse, tell her father.

At the thought of the possibility of her father hearing of this, a prickle of doubt crept into her, making her pause. She didn’t want to stress him more than he most likely already is. He was probably hurting from her pain too. But at the memory of Alessio’s empty promises, pathetic begging for another chance as she stormed away from him in tears that day, a storm of anger and recklessness swept her up into its arms and pushed her to call out confidently. Or perhaps it was the wine. She did add in a few drops of God kin alcohol into her own.

   “Lord Alessio!”

At the sound of her voice, all conversation stopped and heads turned, some towards her, others towards the man addressed. Alessio, for a split second, looked like a fish out of water before he schooled his expression into one of docility.

   “My lady?”

Lucette smirked, pleased that he walked into the trap. A dog will always come when called.

   “Do you dance, my lord?”

A hint of a smirk grew on Alessio’s lips, a glimmer of pride sparking in his eyes. He thought that she has calmed down from her anger and came crawling back to him. Poor fool. Even a dog knows to sniff a treat before eating it.

   “If it pleases you, my lady.”

And there it was, the charm that had caused her to fall in love with him in the first place. What a shame that she didn’t know at the time that charm was empty without action behind it. Lesson harshly learned.

Huffing a laugh, she stepped onto the dance floor, the other couples having cleared the space. A crowd of eyes followed the two as they drew closer, soft whispers filling the air alongside tension and anticipation.

   “Play the Volta” She ordered, not looking away from the familiar green eyes before her. As the music filled the room, the two past lovers got into position, starting off with a clap.

   “Lucette.”

Starting to speak already? She had expected he would’ve lasted until after the first jump. But this week has possibly been a lesson to her about her high expectations for this man.

   “You have been avoiding me.”

   ‘No shit, you imbecile.’ She mentally rolled her eyes at the astute observation, giving him a cocky smirk with a head tilt. He gives her a look of confusion, tilting his head in question. They continued the dance, Lucette skipping with a spin on the fifth step, turning once again to meet with Alessio.

   “Let me explain myself-”

   “I wouldn’t recommend that. The last time you tried ended quite terribly, if I recall correctly.” She cut off his weak lead in, her eyes now physically rolling. She is so sick of hearing that sentence. “Let me explain myself,” he says. What a beggar.

   “Very well then. I will state it bluntly. Your father disapproves of me. Always has. Along with that beast of his-”

   “Sif. Her name is Sif. and you will give her due respect.” She interrupted with a hiss, now glaring at him. Any partner that couldn’t respect Sif appropriately was best thrown out. She was being absurdly generous giving him this false disguise of a chance to speak to her again.

   “Sif. They have both disliked me being with you from the start. Your father looks down upon me. For what reason I know not.”

Does he genuinely not understand? Or is his pride tied too tightly around his eyes, blinding him?

   “Hn.”

   “Because they know I would do anything for you.”

Except the necessary thing to get her father’s approval for marriage. Except swallowing his pride.

As they progressed through the dance, she could tell that Alessio was getting tired of the false pretenses of dancing and simply wished to speak with her. Lucette cared not. He will indulge her until she sees fit to stop.

   “Lucette, say something!”

   “What do you want me to say, hm? That I forgive you? Most certainly not. That I love you? That flower has already wilted. I have no words for you. You have made it quite clear that you were never mine.” She hissed at him, her throat growing tighter as the feel of heartache threatened to consume her.

   ‘Hold onto the anger. Hold onto it.’ She moved to do the next step of the dance, turning away from him, but a harsh grip on her bicep pulled her back, stumbling into his embrace, drawing gasps and exclaims of shock from those watching. Before her rage could fully set off for daring to lay a hand on her in such a way, his hands wrapped around her waist, lifting her into the air.

“For Gwyn’s sake, enough of this petty anger. You will always be my Lucette!”

Enough.

With neither warning nor hesitation, she backhanded him across the mouth, causing him to drop her on her feet. Whirling around, Lucette glared at Alessio with eyes of blue fire, mere seconds from ripping off his head right then and there.

   “I am NOT your Lucette! I never was and never will be! And if you think that you could sweet talk me into falling into your arms like some empty headed maiden, you are a bigger fool than my family and I have thought! You would serve better as Sif’s chew toy than a man since that thing behind your eyes and between your ears is empty and lifeless-”

   “Lucette. Enough.”

At the sound of Ornstein’s voice behind her, Lucette bit sharply on her tongue, halting her tirade. As much as she wished to tear him apart right then and there, she knew Ornstein would not appreciate a direct order being ignored. With another sharp look at the pitiful man cowering before her, she gave a small curtesy to Ornstein out of courtesy and made her way to the doors, the crowd hastily parting to let her pass. Before she could leave however, she decided to make an announcement. For any and all of the God kin in the room who wished to try their hand at taming the wolf’s daughter in the future. Spinning around, she faced the crowd again, her gaze sweeping over them with unfaltering heat.

   “There is only one master of me. And he is not in this room.” She called out confidently, daring anyone to argue against her. With that parting message, she turned away and left the party, the doors slamming closed behind her. Let them chew on that. And if they ponder over who she was speaking about, then let them. Only the ones that know her know who she meant.

Later that night, as she braided her hair for bed, she distantly heard the entrance door to the Wolf Suite open and the familiar clacking of nails and metal on stone.

“3...2...1” She softly counted down, grinning as the noises drew closer and in strode Sif, greeting Lucette with soft barks and attacking her face with licks.

“Hahaha Sif! I already had my bath! And you are still dirty from the day.” Lucette giggled, pushing the large wolf away from her face. Sif huffed, offended at the implication that she was dirty and finally released Lucette from her slobbery greeting, laying her head on her lap to receive her due head scritches. Which Lucette happily complied with, always happy to pet Sif’s fluffy self. A knock on the doorway drew both of the girls’ attention, Sif’s tail beginning to wag at the sight of Artorias.

“Good evening, Papa.”

“Evening, Starlight.” He greeted, bending down to kiss her hair, ruffling Sif’s fur.

“How was the ball? I hope you did not partake in too much wine.” He asked, giving her a playfully stern look.

“No no, only a cup. As for the ball...Well, it was surely eventful. That is certain.” She answered, eyes focused on her hands petting Sif. She could hear the clink of armor as her father shifted, looking at her with a questioning look.

“Did something happen?”

‘You’ll find out one way or another. Might as well give a small idea for what’s coming.’ Lucette huffed, finally looking up to look her father in the eye.

“I saw him there. At the ball.”

From the sudden appearance of tension in the air, she knew that he knew who she was talking about. Artorias kneeled down beside her bed, making his height match her own, large hands that Lucette has seen smash grown human armored men into pieces, tenderly cupping her own.

“Did he attempt to speak to you? What did he say, starlight?”

When she opened her mouth to speak, all that came out was a sob and that sound released the floodgates. She wept in her father’s arms right then and there, the crush of defeat overwhelming her after so long held back. With no more anger to distract her, all she had left was grief for the love that was swiftly killed. She could hear her father cooing to her gently, one arm wrapped around her as his other softly stroked her hair.

“He….He wanted me to... forgive him. Implied that you and Sif somehow sabotaged him.”

Sif very much did not appreciate Lucette’s ex’s attempt to switch blame, a growl rumbling lowly in her throat, soothed away by more head pats from Lucette.

“And what did you say in return?”

“I refused, of course. To do otherwise would be an insult to myself and you and Sif. I could never have such low respect for myself to do so.” She spat out, a flash of anger running through her before fading away. A part of her regrets confronting him but the majority says that he deserved it. That he’s lucky Ornstein stopped her.

“Do you wish for me to...speak with him?” Her father suggested darkly, leaning back to look her in the eyes, his own filled with silent promises of vengeance and retribution on Alessio for causing her pain. A tempting offer but she turned it down.

“No. I think the public humiliation I caused him was enough. If he tries again though...well, I did promise Sif a nice bone one of these days.”

At the mention, Sif’s tail began to wag eagerly as father and daughter shared matching mischievous grins.

Indeed, there was only one true master of her. And she loved him dearly.

[epochofbelief]

Breath Control, Chapter Thirteen

An A Court of Mist and Fury College Swim Team AU

All characters belong to SJ Maas!

Feysand and Elriel

Warnings: Mentions of terminal cancer, alcohol use

Author’s Note: I DID NOT THINK THIS WOULD HAPPEN TODAY BUT I DID IT. IT WAS WRITTEN IN A FRENZY.

MASTERLIST LINK

Please enjoy:)

THIRTEEN

~~~Feyre~~~

In order to keep things as comfortable as possible, Mor helped me move on the last day of Christmas training before I went home. Rhys had left a day earlier to visit his father in London. Student-athletes who were recruited from outside the country got a few extra days over Christmas break in order to travel the long distance home. The rest of us were forced to wait the full extra six days before we could go home, training for about five hours a day and sleeping the other nineteen. 

Exhausted after an early Christmas training practice on the Tuesday before Christmas, we managed to move me out of my place and into hers in under four hours. A remarkable feat. I hugged Mor goodbye outside the house.

“It’s going to be weird living with Rhys. Is this stupid?”

Mor pulled away. “I’d prefer you here with my cousin and me than with those two assholes. You have a whole floor to yourself! Rhys and I on the top, you’re two whole floors away from him. But don’t think for a second that I won’t be traveling to ground level to visit you, like, all the time.” 

I smiled. “Thanks Mor. For everything.” I meant for more than just letting me move in. Being my friend, looking out for me, being supportive even with all the drama between Rhys and me. 

Her nod told me she understood. 

She pulled me in for one last hug and then flounced into her car without a glance backward. I’d really lucked out with Mor. 

As Mor pulled away, I shifted to face the house. My new house. Two new roommates, one of them my ex. If I wasn’t before, now I had to be verifiably out of my mind.

 I shrugged even though there was no one around. Fuck it. Better than Tamlin, right?

Three and a half hours later, I had run out of music and podcasts to listen to. I couldn’t forget that the last time I’d driven home, he’d been with me. How had my love life gotten so screwed up? While my swimming had improved, and my major change was forthcoming, the romance area of my life was still an utter disaster. 

Unfortunately, one of the classic rock songs Rhys had selected on our past drive chose that moment to click on. As the lyrics filled the car, instead of turning the volume down, I blasted it as loud as it could go. Rolled my windows down. And let myself wallow the rest of the way home. 

It was already seven o’clock by the time I made it to my place. I burst through the front door, weighed down by my suitcase, bags of gifts, and swim bag (I’d be training with my old team while home for the break). 

“Feyre!” Elain’s voice floated to me from the living area to my left. I dumped all my things right inside the door to hug her. What with finals and my Christmas training, I hadn’t seen her in a few weeks. While she hugged me, I glanced over my shoulder and had to force my mouth to remain shut. 

Damn. I’d forgotten Azriel was coming for Christmas. I loved Azriel, and I was so glad Elain had him (I repeated to myself for the thousandth time) but he was just another painful reminder that I was alone, and that both of my past boyfriends had chosen other, hotter, crazier girls over me. 

But I smiled and hugged Azriel tightly. Then Nesta, a little less tightly. And finally my father. Dad and I had spoken on the phone a couple of times since Thanksgiving. I think hearing about how upset I was over Rhys (I was sure Elain had told him a few things) made him worried over me, and he’d made a big effort to call this past month. I was genuinely happy to see him. 

“We just finished eating half an hour ago. We made a plate for you. It’s in the microwave.”

“Thanks, Dad.” 

“I’ll come with you,” Elain said, leaving Azriel behind.

As I sat at the table eating my dinner, Elain chattered away about how glad she was that Azriel was here, about how her finals had all gone really well, about how she was already looking forward to next semester, about how Dad and Azriel got along really well. I’d never heard her speak so much about herself in one go. It brought me so much joy for her that I thought I’d burst. I’d worried she wouldn’t find someone else, wouldn’t find purpose in her passion for nursing, for a much longer time after what Greyson did to her. 

Finally, she paused to draw breath. “I’m so sorry, I’ve been talking all about me for the past twenty minutes. How are you?” She probably didn’t notice, but her voice grew hushed when she asked how I was. Was this how Elain had felt after her breakup with Greyson? Everyone walking on eggshells around her, making sure they didn’t say anything to remind her too painfully of her ex?

I waved my hand, standing up to rinse my plate and place it in the dishwasher. “Oh, I’m fine. Four-point-oh again, and I just finished all my Gen Eds. Next semester I’ll start taking classes for whatever new major I choose.”

Elain frowned. “Okay, but you know I wasn’t asking about how school is going--even though I’m really proud of you for your grades and for having the courage to change your major. How was the move? Did you have to see him?”

I shook my head. “Move was fine. Mor was great. Haven’t spoken to Rhys since I ran into him at the Astrid Oaks leasing office.” I’d texted Elain the night that had occurred, including every detail of our encounter. Like Mor, Elain  insisted there was an explanation for Rhys’s behavior. I maintained that I wouldn’t be the one begging to hear that explanation, if it even existed. 

“Okay. You don’t want to talk about it. That’s fine. You know I just want you to be happy, though, right? Do whatever’s best for you?”

I nodded. “I know. Thanks Elain. And I expect to hear more about you and Azriel later.”

The grin that split her face was so bright it was blinding. “Later. Right now, I think everyone’s waiting for us to watch Star Wars or something with them.” 

------

At eleven o’clock that night, I sat next to my window at the top of the house, watching the snow fall. It was the first snow of the year, just in time for Christmas. I’d been worried it wouldn’t snow at all this year. 

It had been a nice rest of the evening with my family. We’d watched two Star Wars movies, pigging out on junk food the whole time. I’d had to almost crawl my way up all the staircases to my room when the end credits of our second movie had rolled. I’d merely shot Elain a suspicious look as she escorted Azriel very loudly into his separate bedroom. It was so painfully obvious, I was almost sure my father knew and was just letting us girls go to unnecessary great lengths to fruitlessly keep him out of the loop. 

My phone buzzed. A text from Mor. 

Mor: Feyre?

Me: Mor?

Mor: Do you trust me?

Me: Uh… yeah?

Mor: I need you to have an open mind for the next thirty minutes. 

Me: Okay. Why?

Mor: Look out your window. Love ya

It took me a second to process Mor’s text, realize that she really did want me to look out the window I was sitting next to, and then slowly turn my head to gaze into the black, snowy night outside.

Only I couldn’t see the black, snowy night anymore.

What I did see had me scrambling backwards, falling off the window seat and backing up five feet before I realized that the man crouched outside the window was Rhys.

I stood slowly as he jerked his head at the window latch, one of his eyebrows cocked in question. Shaking my head, I inched forward and eased the window open.

“We’re three stories up!” I hissed as Rhys stumbled onto the blue cushion of the window seat, tracking in snow as he did so. “Are you out of your fucking mind?” 

Rhys turned to close the window, then locked his gaze with mine. “I am out of my fucking mind, Feyre. Out of my mind for going this long without explaining why everything happened. Out of my mind for going this long without telling you I’m in love with you.”

Each of his words hit me like a blow. My first instinct was to speak. . . Say something, anything. But I held back. This was his rodeo. He was the one who needed to do the explaining. 

He looked at me as though expecting me to speak.

I placed my hands on my hips, widening my stance as I stared back at him. 

He took a deep breath and plunged on. “I’m out of my mind for not doing everything I could to be able to tell you why I couldn’t tell you why what happened even happened!”

“What?” I said.

He slumped onto the cushion. “Yeah, you’re right that didn’t make any fucking sense. Let me start at the beginning.”

“Okay.”

His head jerked up again, as though surprised I was acquiescing so easily.  But I was nothing if not true to what I’d been telling myself for the past month. I wasn’t gonna come crawling. He could do that. And he had.

I led him over to the fireplace, tossing him a blanket so he could warm up. Settling myself into one of my plush armchairs, I waited. 

“So, uh, the beginning. Right. Guess I’ll take the plunge.” 

And he did.

“I liked you as soon as I met you on that recruiting trip two years ago. You were so confident, sure of yourself, even if you didn’t think you were. You had fun at that party the upperclassmen decided to take the recruits to without falling prey to a bunch of older, ‘cooler’, students. I just… Tamlin himself wanted to hook up with you at that party. And hooking up with recruits is obviously a big no-no. And you stared him down in front of everyone at that party and told him to hit the road. 

“I’d just gotten out of a shitty relationship with… Amarantha… and had lost my sister,” his voice faltered for a moment and I had to restrain myself from reaching for him, “only a few months prior. Seeing how good you were, how strong, in an incredibly daunting situation. . . It blew my mind. My favorite girl in the world had just died, and my least favorite girl in the world was the only one I’d ever really dated. I’d lost all hope and there you were, right in front of me. 

“You didn’t glance at me twice the whole night, but during the few conversations we had I knew you were intelligent, and well-rounded, and not an empty-headed athlete that some are. 

“And so I spent the whole year forgetting about you. I didn’t date anyone my freshman year. Not because I was obsessive or anything--I’m not a creep, I swear--but because I had never met someone like you before. Someone so sure of their values. I couldn’t compare you to anyone… Amarantha especially. I couldn’t get the idea of you, a seventeen-year-old girl having the guts to party with a bunch of college kids and not bow down to peer pressure. You know I disapprove of a lot of the shit that goes on with the team during the season--especially all the sleeping around and not worrying about who it could hurt. I’m just not built to do things like that. 

“And when you arrived a year later, you jumped straight into that relationship with Tamlin. I was so thrown off. I couldn’t understand why you could be with someone like that. I do now,” he added quickly, seeing my expression. “But I was nineteen! I was dumb--couldn’t figure it out. I know he was what you needed at the time. 

“Anyways. Moving past that. 

“It was when I saw you train from across the pool, never backing down, putting up with Tamlin and Ianthe’s shit, day after day… It was then that I started to love you.”

I couldn’t prevent the sharp intake of breath I took when he said that. 

And when I realized I wanted to repeat those same words back to him. To Rhys, who’d loved me for so long without ever pushing himself on me, without trying to force me into anything I wasn’t ready for, who’d encouraged me through one of the darkest times of my life.

“And ever since the beginning of this year, when something shifted between you and your friends, I’ve been worried sick about you. Finally worked up the courage to talk to you at the Halloween party, offer to drive you home, get you the hell away from the cheating bastard. 

“And then Amarantha happened.” His hands twisted in his lap. He was staring straight into the fire now. 

“I’ve never told anyone this… At least, I hadn’t told anyone else this until about two hours ago. Remember how I said everyone thought I dated Amarantha to get through my sister’s cancer?” He glanced at me.

I nodded.

“I dated her because… because she knew something, and insisted I stay with her if I didn’t want anyone to find out.”

I glanced up sharply.

“I went on one date with Amarantha before I knew we weren’t compatible. One date. After that date, I was ready to tell her I wasn’t interested, kind of let it work itself out into nothing, you know? 

“And then. . .” He trailed off. 

“Rhys?”

“Right before I drove here, I told Mor everything I am about to tell you right now. I want you to know she gave me full consent to say all of this to you.”

Ah, so this explained her texts. I nodded. “Okay.”

“Mor’s gay, Feyre.”

I blinked. 

“She’s not out, isn’t ready. She didn’t even know I knew until two hours ago. But back in high school, right before Amarantha and I started going out, Amarantha spied Mor making out with another girl in a car, at a mall twenty miles outside of town. Amarantha told me as much after I told her I didn’t things would work out between us. 

“And I knew that if Mor hadn’t told me, she didn’t want anyone to know. No one at school knew. Her family didn’t know. ”

My vision blurred. I blinked rapidly.

“So when Amarantha insinuated that she’d spill Mor’s secret if I broke things off with her, I realized I had no choice.” 

And now I could see that he was crying, too. His hands twisting faster and faster in his lap. He hadn’t looked at me for at least the past five minutes.

“I couldn’t let that happen to Mor. Mor, who was so happy, all the time, always lifting people up. The girl everyone thought was the height of confidence. That girl didn’t feel comfortable enough to share something that was such a big part of her identity. And that’s always her choice, of course, and I would never want her to come out before she was ready. And that’s why I stayed with Amarantha. 

“I won’t go into detail about everything that happened,” he swiped at the smattering of tears he’d let fall. “Amarantha broke up with me the day after my sister died. And for some reason that didn’t even feel like a weight off my chest. It was supposed to, but coupled with burying my sister a few days after that… I’d never felt so alone. And Amarantha loved that by leaving me at the worst point in my life, she’d be ensuring the fact that I would feel so alone.” 

“So when I arrived home at Thanksgiving, with you, both of us happy to be together, and Amarantha saw it. . . Her personality could not allow her to just let me be happy, let me be with another girl. So while we were at the club--she was sober, by the way, and I was definitely not, if that counts for anything--she brought it all back up. Told me she’d walk in there and tell all Mor’s friends the truth if I didn’t give it one more go with her.”

A few more tears slid down his face and I knelt on the carpet in front of him, placing one hand on his knee. 

“And it’s not an excuse Feyre. But I had no idea what to do. I would never, ever cheat on you for my own sick kind of pleasure or something. And what I did was wrong. I was too intoxicated to think clearly, to find some sort of other solution. I didn’t want to ambush Mor and tell her I knew the truth. I didn’t think it would be fair. And apparently that was stupid of me, too, because when I told her tonight she bawled her eyes out and told me she would’ve come out to the whole high school over the intercom if she’d known what Amarantha was doing to me. So I’m just an idiot, but I’m an idiot who loves you, and if there’s anything I can do to convince you to believe me, to, gods forbid, to forgive me--”

Restraint was impossible now, and I flung myself at him, straddling his hips with my legs. And he went still as death as I kissed every one of his tears away. 

When I finished doing that, I pressed a kiss to his forehead, my hands resting on his shoulders. His thumbs lightly, so lightly, slid just underneath my shirt to rest on the skin above the waistband of my pajama shorts. “I love you too, you idiot,” I whispered.

My words unleashed him. His touch went from light to firm, his hands gripping my waist and pulling me as close to him as possible. His mouth found mine and our tears mingled as his tongue swept across mine. 

“You really--” He broke off as I covered his mouth with mine again, unwilling to be separated from him for a moment longer. He pulled back. “You believe me?”

I brought my hands up to cup his cheeks, slide them down his shoulders to his chest. “Of course I do.” 

He stood up swiftly then, his mouth locking against mine, his hands gripping my ass. I could feel him hard against me as he strode for the bed, laying me softly on top of it. He stood there for a second, looking at me. Smiling. 

“Let’s not waste time,” I hissed, grabbing the neck of his t-shirt and pulling him down on top of me. 

And later, when he paused to ask me, “Are you sure?” as he hovered above me, both sets of our clothing in piles on the floor around the bed, I nodded. “Yes,” I breathed. “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”

--------------------

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