#i waited a fucking y e a r for him to initiate any conversation with me

[imadeanewventblogagain]

Yeah they drew my sona hhhhh

[its-me-im-coraline]

NSFW Alphabet // Thomas Raggi

words // 1161

warnings // smut

pairing // Thomas Raggi x Reader

author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. ok i was going to post an actual fic today but something came up so I did not finish it but I had these already done soooo. yeah.

request // yes in a reblog

summary // self explanatory

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Thomas is utterly soft regarding aftercare. He will give you back rubs and little massages when he has been dominant. But if you are the dominant one he is full on fucked out mode and he needs to be taken care of. He will be shy to say this at first but after the first few times you have sex and you see that he is exhausted from what went down you’ll kind of force him to sit down and for you to take care of him. He will insist on taking care of you.

“Here’s your water, baby,” he almost whispers when he approaches you.

His eyes are droopy, half closed as he barely stands awake. His hair is messy, and there’s a flush on his cheeks from all the action.

“Thommy, are you alright? Should I be the one to take care of you?” Your words seem to have shaken him up, as if he is ashamed of needing aftercare.

“No, no, no! I am fine!”

“Puppy, you aren’t. Come on, come here,” you prompt, the man missing not one second to jump into your arms, “it’s ok to not be able to give me aftercare, baby. You deserve it just as much.”

The man simply sighed on your shoulder, eyes resting closed as he fell asleep.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite part of himself is most likely his hands. The man plays the guitar, he’s quite proud of what he can do with his fingers, thus why it’s his favorite part.

Now, on you, I see him being a thigh guy like Damiano. He’d give his life to simply feel your thighs crush his head. Wow

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he’s kind of shy about it when you guys are intimate, but only because he is generally sub. He will be asking for permission and all, beg to cum in you or on your stomach.

“Ah, ah, please - can-can I cum? Can I cum on your stomach?” His voice is weavering, shaky with pleasure as he can’t control himself any longer. It was torture to even ask and wait for your answer but he knew you’d stop all together if he did not.

“Go ahead baby, cum on my stomach- agh yes, so beautifully”

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s fairly experienced, def had his fair share of sexual partners but he is not clueless that’s for sure

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

I’d say he loves you riding him. Any position where you ride him is perfect in his head. He loves it when you are facing him and he can see your face but also he can feel your thighs any time he pleases

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

I feel like he is generally pretty goofy in bed. He will crack a joke or two in the process of making comments about you.

“oh yes baby, ride that dick like a cowboy” or something like that.

He will even have casual conversation with you while you’re fucking, like, “where do you want to eat after?”

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He does not really shave but he trims the hair a bit. Kind of the mindset of Ethan. Like he does not care too much but he’d rather you choke on his dick rather than his hair

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Can be very romantic if he wants to. There are def instances where he will surprise you with a nice dinner and then take you to the bedroom, with some low lighting, light music to get you in the mood and full on making love to you

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He jacks off to photos of you when he is away and in the mood. If he is with you he does not find a reason to do it. You’re literally next to him and up to no good

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He is overall submissive, with like chokers on, he’d take a spanking here and there but it was not his favorite thing to do.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He looooves receiving oral from you. If you ask him, you are the most skilled he ever had. He does not prefer them compared to you but especially in terms of quickies and stuff he would die for them.

He would not hesitate to give back though, he is no little boy, innuendo intentional.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He’s usually quick when he is close and chasing his orgasm but other than that he keeps a pretty satisfying tempo.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He’s all in for them when you are trapped in spaces with other people for too long. He doesn’t care if you have 20 or 10 minutes, if he needs you (and you want to of course) he’d hide in the bathroom and fuck you as quick as you both can take

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He is interested in the risky stuff and into trying new things but he might be a little shy at first. He will not initiate something different. At least not before you have a conversation about it and you reassure him he can tell you what he thinks..

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He has not thought about it much, and in all honesty he is afraid of you using toys on him but at the same time the thought makes him very hard. he’s open to try using them if you suggest it

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

ooooh a lot. he’s the absolute tease. innuendos when you are trying to have a wholesome conversation, thigh rubs when you’re in public, ‘accidentally’ hitting his arm on the wall and moaning in ‘pain’... He has a devious brat mind

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

unless you tell him to be quiet, he has no intention on confiding his sounds of pleasure. he will moan, he will scream, he will groan, he will do all of it, and if you get complaints from neighbours… oh well, they should close their windows better

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He is pretty big. Above average for sure.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He is horny all.the.time. There is not a day when he does not come to you with an “i’m horny, help”

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11 @teenyweenynightghost

[bored-mumma]

Steve Rogers - Smut Alphabet - NSFW

MASTERLIST

18+ only. Very sexual nature. Swearing. 

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He’s the king of aftercare. He’ll get warm cloths and clean you up, will grab you a glass of water and massage any place you ask him. If there’s anything you need after sex Steve will be more than happy to do it for you. Especially on the days your legs feel like jelly. 

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Favourite body part of his is his arms. The way they can just pick you up and carry you, no matter your size. Or how they can pin your down against the bed when his face is in between your legs. 

Steves favourite body part of yours is your thighs. The way they move when you walk, how soft they are in his hands or the feeling of them wrapped around his waist. He can’t get enough of all of your body, but your thighs are just something else.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Inside of you nearly every time. Thanks to the super serum he can’t have children anyway so there’s no pregnancy fear for you. Though it’s mostly about the feeling. Being buried deep inside of you and bringing you to your orgasm as well, so he can feel you clench around him, is a feeling he can’t describe. It’s pure heaven to him. Although some days he ends up cumming in your mouth instead, not being able to resist your lips around him and watching you swallow everything he gives. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

There’s nothing he wants more than to fuck you in the compounds gym. Seeing you work out, getting all sweaty in your tight gym clothes does crazy stuff to him. It got to the point he’ll no longer work out with you, finding it too difficult to concentrate. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very experienced at all. He’s only been with a couple women, all but one of them was more than 80 years ago. 

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

The “upstanding citizen” ironically.  You straddle Steve, wrapping your legs around his body (he keeps his knees unlocked and thighs spread slightly). He then stands and supports you in their arms. You can start on the bed and have them pick you up without disengaging. (Or for the truly bold, you can hop aboard from standing position!)

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Most of the time he’s pretty serious. His number one priority being getting you off as many times as possible. However, occasionally when you’re both in more relaxed, silly moods, Steve can crack jokes and make you laugh as well as make you feel great. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He doesn’t really do much down there. Which is fine, you’re not fussed about that and he’s not fussed about yours either. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

No matter what position or what mood he’s in, sex between you both is very intimate. Eye contact, loving whispers, moaning in each others ears and hands linked together. Its an act that brings two people to one.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Not very often since you are always usually up for it but sometimes he can’t help but get himself off in the shower. His sex drive is pretty high and he knows sometimes after a pretty rough night you may need a few days to recover before you can go another round. Although masturbation isn’t his favourite thing to do, he’ll still do it on the days he doesn’t get laid.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He’s a slight masochist, loving the pain he feels when you pull his hair hard or drag your nails down his back. He always loves a bit of orgasm control too. You riding him and getting him so close to cumming but as soon as you hear his moans getting louder, you stop all movements. He’ll get his revenge though and the next time you two have sex he’ll edge you with his tongue.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

In the safety of your shared apartment. He doesn’t care where in it and has taken you on every surface but he doesn’t like to do anything outside of your home. He’s got a reputation to keep up but not only that, the thought of someone else seeing you in an intimate position makes him crazy jealous. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

If you sit on his lap then your night is instantly sorted. Especially if you lightly rock your hips as you straddle him. He could be in the middle of the most important paperwork but if you do that then he’s gone from your loving boyfriend to just an animal. 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Two of the biggest things he would never do is humiliation play or breath play. He loves and adores you too much to ever even consider humiliation play and breath play feels far too risky for him. Especially when you count in his super serum strength - one mistake and you’ll lose all breath. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He can’t get enough of your mouth. You knelt on your knees before him, head bobbing up and down as he grips your hair. Torn between throwing his head back in ecstasy or keeping his eyes fixed on you. Its now to a point where he gets excited every time he sees your hair up in a ponytail since thats what you do before giving him a blowjob.

He also loves to give you oral back too. Feeling you writhe against his face as he uses his arms to hold you down in place, hearing you cry out his name as he holds back your orgasm for the third time. Its his happy place. 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Usually pretty rough but not overly fast. His  strong thrusts are one that some may consider to be at a fast pace but since you know how fast he could get, it didn’t seem so to you. However on the occasion, he’ll go more slow, more sensual. Usually those nights consist of oral on you and some plan missionary, him going deep but slow and whispering how much he loves you. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’ll take whatever you give him! A good few hours of fucking at night time or just a quick ride in the shower before the day starts works for him. As long as you both get off, he’s not fussed. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He’ll try basically anything you want to do. To him, one of the most important part of sex is making sure you have an orgasm (or a good few!) and if you want to try different ways of doing that, he’s usually game. He also feels very comfortable in talking to you about things he’s heard about and is interested in trying and again, most of the time you say yes to them. You both only have one very strict rule. Before trying out any new kinks of play things, you have a conversation about it beforehand. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Neither of you really know how long he can last since it’s usually you who has to tap out first. After three or four rounds lasting at least an hour each, you can’t even walk. Thankfully Steve's aftercare game is strong and takes care of everything for you. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

You own a couple of toys for when Steve is away from you on work. But when Steve found them he couldn’t help but bring them into the bedroom together. Especially ones that vibrate. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Not very often as he loves the feeling of you having a wave of pleasure beneath him but every once in a while he’ll be in the mood to make you suffer. Orgasm control as he eats you out. Tongue going up and down your body but missing all the places you wanted it the most. Fingers circling your clit but refusing to give as much stimulation as you wanted. Anything to get you begging for him.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s not loud in volume but very loud in words. He’ll deny it but you’re certain he has a praise kink. Always whispering in your ear about what a good girl you are, how well you take him. He never stops talking/moaning and it turns him on to full extent when you do it back.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He can’t even tell you the amount of time he’s looked at you during an Avengers conference , eyes going over your body which is wrapped in your work suit - an outfit he has fucked you in so many times before. Instead of paying attention, he’ll sit there and think of all the ways he’ll play with your body later. To the other Avengers, he’s Americas man in blue, someone who is just a soldier and can do no wrong. But you and him knew his mind is one of the filthiest you’ve ever known.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

A good 9in.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive never goes down. He’s ready wherever, whenever you are. It’s usually you who initiates sex since its just easier that way. After four years together, Steve has never turned you down.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’s out like a light! As soon as the two of you are finished, cleaned up and started to cuddle, you can hear his gentle snores. He doesn’t mean to do it and always tries to wait for you to sleep first but never actually manages to.

[rynnaaurelius]

Titan’s Curse But Make It Time Loop: Nico di Angelo Edition

-Okay so I’m at work and not doing much and who wants to actually edit your shit drafts for your actual WIPs so that they’re less bad? No one, that’s who

-So I had an idea: The Titan’s Curse. Also known as the book where people start to die. It sucks to be a demigod in this book--for the first time in the original series, it really does.

-Not everything is fixed, not everyone is saved, and people start to have to make really tough decisions.

-So we fix it. Not by throwing Percy, or Annabeth, or Thalia, or, hell, even Bianca or Grover into the mix.

-Throwing the marginally more grown-up, more trained, and more knowledgeable demigods into the fire, who’d get everyone alive and safe by the third time ‘round? Nah.

-We’re making Nico fix this.

-Because here’s the thing about Nico di Angelo: Sure, he grows up to become a major badass, the Ghost King, so on and so forth. But not yet.

-For now, Nico is baby, a ten-year-old whose experience with any kind of fighting consists of one (1) Capture The Flag game and who’s still half-reliant on Mythomagic to explain what the fuck is happening.

-He’s also got the worst knowledge makeup possible! He knows he’s a son of Hades, which is bad, he knows to stick monsters with the pointy end of swords but nothing else, he knows that Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace are Very Big Deals (But also doesn’t know why beyond parents), and he’s, at best, vaguely aware that there’s some kind of bad prophecy hanging around.

-Also by the end of the book, he’s just been told his last immediate family who isn’t Hades is dead in one of the worst ways possible, and he--pretty irrationally IMO, but Nico’s a kid who has been through a lot recently, so we’re not holding that against him--blames Percy Jackson.

-Literally, you probably can’t pick an angstier or worse choice to run through the time travel trope. I love it.

-We’re making this kid save Bianca’s life via time loop, which happens due to. . .hmm, we’ll say the Fates did it.

-So, Loop 0 = Canon, only at the end of the day on December 21st, after the conversation with Percy, Nico falls asleep only gods know where only to wake up the day he meets Percy Jackson:

Loop 1:

-Nico doesn’t actually change anything meaningful at first.

-Spends most of it shellshocked and not unconvinced the last week (For him, anyway) wasn’t a horrible nightmare; shellshocked and staring at Percy Jackson, anyway.

-(Percy’s wondering what’s up with the silent kid his sister had talked up as a cheerful chatterbox)

-It’s only when Bianca agrees to join the quest for Artemis that he starts kicking up a fuss; demanding to go, screaming that she can’t leave him even more, not again.

-(Bianca hesitates; briefly, enough to remind Nico that she loves him. But she’s not their mother, and she needs this)

-Bianca still dies. Percy comes back pale and guilty. Nico doesn’t yell at him when he returns--he already knows. He accepts the Hades figurine so that he can throw it into the lake.

-He slinks off back into Cabin Eleven and falls asleep, hoping desperately that he gets a third chance.

Loop 2:

-He does.

Loop 3:

-After a very painful death at the hands of Dr. Thorn, Nico, generally being a straightforward person at this stage of life, takes the obvious path this time around: He tries to tell Bianca--who brushes it off as a dream.

-Annabeth still goes over the cliff when Nico takes the initiative of attaching himself and his sister to Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace at the dance. He tries to tell Percy and Thalia when Bianca still joins the Hunt, promising Nico that whatever he saw, she’ll be extra careful.

-(Bianca’s fearful of what Nico's saying, and thinks that if these sworn sisters can’t keep her safe, who can?)

-Artemis gives Nico a speculative look but agrees when he begs her to protect Bianca at all costs.

-He doesn’t get on the quest. Being a reasonable demigod of questionable parentage, he sneaks out of camp.

-He gets caught, because despite being aware of his awesome new powers, he doesn’t know how to use them, and is still a ten-year-old who can barely hold a sword the right way.

-He gives Percy the puppy dog eyes and shows off said awesome new powers. Percy forces him back.

-Nico follows him.

-Repeat until Percy dies saving Nico from the Nemean Lion in Washington, DC.

-Nico can’t find it in himself to be terribly sad--especially when he doesn’t make it much longer.

Loop 4:

-He’s really stuck like this, huh?

-Oh, Di Immortales.

-(Before Percy gets his chest ripped to shreds by a lion and Nico meets skeleton cats, he learned how to hold a sword properly and curse fluently in Greek. Percy probably only meant to teach him one of those things)

-In unrelated news: Having a big crush on a guy who thinks he’s only known you for a couple hours? Terrible.

-Trying to hate the guy who let your sister die when he’s that stupid and nice? Even worse.

-That stupid lion.

Loop 5, 6, 7, 8, 9:

-Nico repeats: That stupid lion.

-Somewhere in Loop 7 he starts to steal supplies out of the camp store when he follows Percy following the quest.

-They forcefeed the lion enough trail mix and frozen ice cream in Loop 9 that they don’t die this time.

-At least until someone called the General shows up and Nico’s dead before he can raise his sword.

Loop 10:

-Nico wakes up in his and Bianca’s room in Westover and starts crying. Bianca tells the headmaster they’re both sick and Nico lets her hold him all day.

-They fall asleep and Nico swears he won’t let her die again.

Loop 11, 12, 13:

-He wakes up and he still can’t get out of bed without feeling that blade cutting between his ribs, burning like it’s on fire.

-Gods, he’s so sorry, Bianca. Dispiace tanto.

Loop 14:

-He can get up without feeling like he’s about to die again. Bianca fusses but assumes it was just a bad dream.

-Nico is caught stealing and can’t follow Percy until it’s too late.

-Everyone assumes this means he’s a son of Hermes, however, and Nico can’t correct them without opening his mouth and letting the sobbing laughter out.

-Figuring he’s about to get another chance next round anyway, he takes Travis and Connor Stoll up on their offer to learn a thing or two so that he doesn’t get Cabin Eleven slapped with kitchen duty from now until Doomsday.

-He likes the Stolls. He spent most of the time, pre-looping, actively avoiding everyone at camp as he waited for Bianca and Percy to come back, but they’re not that bad.

-Percy comes back with the figurine and no sister and Nico remembers why he’s stuck.

Loop 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23:

-After Loop 12 and being killed in Washington DC again, Nico realizes: He needs to learn how to fight.

-Unless he gets killed early or refuses to leave Westover, the loop resets after seven days. So, he has seven days to train each time.

-He gets to camp, finds the arena, and meets Clarisse La Rue. He demands she teach him how to kill monsters.

-She laughs, and tells him that attitude in his size will make monsters easy to kill, they’ll laugh so hard.

-Clarisse teaches him how to swing a sword each time--but only after mocking his unamused face.

-Somehow, Percy coming back with news of Bianca’s death only hurts more each time.

Loop 24:

-Nico wakes up before Bianca this time. He looks over at her bed and knows. He’s got to try this time.

-It’s disturbingly easy making friends with Percy Jackson after the last loops.

-Bessie’s new. Cute, but new.

-Nico wonders just how much he’s missed in the past--he thinks of Annabeth Chase, and hopes she hasn’t been dying each time.

-Percy doesn’t even argue when Nico shows up in the stables with a bag slung over his shoulder, and the sword he’s been stealing out of the shed strapped to his hip.

-Nico suggests the ice cream--again--to Percy in DC before

-Nico might be getting the hang of this.

Loop 25:

-Nico is not getting the hang of this.

-Zoë Nightshade’s refusal to accept Percy and Nico on the quest--violating a prophecy, and gods, Nico’s curious if that prophecy ever mentioned this--has so far gotten them attacked and killed by spartoi once.

-And again. As Nico bleeds out on the floor, he watches a panicked blond man--a demigod--plead for mercy.

-Isn’t he on the other side?

Loop 26:

-His name is Luke Castellan and he apparently wants the gods dead.

-Nico can relate at this point.

-The General is Atlas, and Nico knows enough about Greek mythology, real and wrong, at this point to know that is bad.

Loop 27:

-Twenty-six tries, but they finally make it out of DC. Threatening the questers with Atlas killing them all is more than enough.

-For the first time, Nico doesn’t know what happens next. He glues himself to Bianca’s side and glares at anything suspicious.

-With help that Percy refuses to name, even when Nico tries his hardest, they go to New Mexico.

-There’s a boar and it’s so close, they make it to what the others are calling “the junkyard of the gods”.

-Nico sees the Hades figurine on the ground.

-Bianca grins in delight and picks it up, calling for him.

-He can’t help it.

-Nico starts screaming.

Loop 28:

-His sister’s murderer was never Percy Jackson.

-His sister’s murderer was a force of mechanics that makes Nico fully understand, for the first time, what the gods are, beyond stats on a card.

-Talos.

-Nico is going to destroy him.

Loop 29:

-She dies.

Loop 30:

-Again.

Loop 31:

-Again.

-Loop 32, 33, 34, 3536373839FortyFo r t y O n  e--:

-Again. Again. Again. Again again againagainagainagainAGAIN--

Loop 42:

-Nico gets out of bed. He finds Percy Jackson at the dance, hugs him, and tells him he’s sorry.

-Nico walks outside and waits for Dr. Thorn in the snow. He can feel the shadows curling at the edge of the wood like a sixth sense, now. Waiting for him to summon the restless dead out of them.

-So many attempts to save his sister, ranging from sacrificing himself to sacrificing Percy--not that Percy needs the push, Nico has found--to any and all members of the quest.

-She dies. Always, always dies. Whatever Nico does, that junkyard is full of the death of Bianca di Angelo.

-He tried avoiding it. Once. Loop 33. Nico threw such a fit he’s surprised he wasn’t sent back to Camp Half-Blood by the Hunters, but it kept them out of the junkyard.

-He tries not to remember how little was left of his sister’s body by the monsters that time.

-Son of Hades. After all this time, Nico’s beginning to wonder if this is what it means. Death and death and death.

-Dr. Thorn walks outside, and Nico can feel a ghoulish grin crossing his face that has no place on a ten-year-old.

-One of them is going to die, this loop. And Nico will not go to New Mexico.

Loop 43:

-Nico wonders if there was a past life of his he needs to remember. Who could he have made this angry?

-He lies to Bianca and they stay in Westover again this time. Better than death, anyway.

Loop 44:

-Nico tries a different tack this time. A more roundabout way of things.

-He takes Bianca and throws the two of them in the way of the battle with the manticore.

-After all this time, he still doesn’t know much about Annabeth Chase. She gets kidnapped and returned safely to Percy every time, to the best of his knowledge.

-Nico dies holding up the sky, but at least Bianca lives, under the protection of Artemis.

Loop 45:

-Nico looks in the mirror and studies the new grey streak with fascination. And, maybe, some hope.

-Things can change.

Loop 46, 47, 48, 49, 50:

-Nico gets kidnapped a few times. Once, he’s killed in a rage by a Titan with horns, but it’s quick. Mostly, he holds up the sky to get Artemis out.

-She looks at him strangely each time and Nico wonders if she can see what he’s done.

Loop 51:

-They figure out he’s a son of Hades. They offer him Olympus. Olympus and Bessie--the Ophiotaurus, rather.

-Nico says no.

Loop 52:

-Nico says yes.

Loop 53:

-Being on the verge of overthrowing the gods and keeping everyone he’s grown to care for--in the case of several Hunters, against his will; in Percy Jackson’s case, Nico loves him as much as he hates him at this point--doesn’t do much, apparently.

-Nico stays in Westover again. He resists the urge to tell Bianca that would-be destroyers of Olympus don’t need to brush their hair, whatever she says.

Loop 54:

-Nico goes over the edge of the cliff again, but with Percy Jackson.

-This isn’t the first time; in Loop 46, Percy had taken the sky for both the sake of Artemis and Nico until it killed him.

-What’s different, is Nico’s in the middle of what’s become the usual panic attack when he’s about to die for the hundredth time, and his powers react.

-Percy holds him close and calls him cousin. Tells him he’ll never leave Nico.

-You have no idea, Nico whispers. You can’t leave me.

-You think I want to? Percy whispers back. You’re not alone, Nico.

-Nico’s sobbing sounds like laughter.

Loop 55:

-Nico tells Percy the truth for the third time. This is the first time he hasn’t told Bianca first.

-They’ve just found the Erymanthian Boar, Thalia’s told Nico his goth needs work--whatever that means--and Nico’s bracing himself for the junkyard again.

-Getting kidnapped by the Titans really gets old after a while.

-He still has the grey streak, and no number of excuses will fully soothe his sister, but the Hunt’s a good distraction from it.

-Nico doesn’t blame Bianca anymore for it. He thinks.

-Nearly a year into this loop and Nico’s finding it hard to blame anyone for much of anything, anymore. Especially when he sees what she’s faced. Again. And again.

-For now, this time, Percy Jackson is staring at Nico with wide eyes at what Nico’s told him--through these loops, Nico’s starting to wonder if he now knows more about Percy than Percy’s own best friends--and says he believes him.

-Once, Nico would’ve exploded from joy. Now, he just sighs and nods.

-Percy tells him how to condense the conversation for the next loop. He advises Nico to research Talos, “like Annabeth would.”

-He advises Nico to warn Percy’s next loop self about Annabeth’s kidnapping. Nico wonders if he’s gone insane that he’s considering it.

-Bianca dies.

Loop 56:

-Nico makes the executive decision this time to try and befriend Annabeth Chase. As such, he takes Percy’s advice.

Loop 57:

-It takes him two tries to befriend Annabeth Chase and learn about Talos.

Loop 58:

-Three times.

-But the nail. The nail in the ankle of Talos.

Loop 59:

-He hangs back at camp again this time and meets Charles Beckendorf, head of Cabin Nine, and son of Hephaestus.

-Nico figures that short of finding the god himself and committing temporary suicide--not that it hasn’t crossed Nico’s mind--his son will have to do.

-(He’s tried his hand at summoning ghosts, but Daedalus refuses to show, for some reason)

-Beckendorf frowns and tells Nico he would have to see Talos himself.

-Nico hadn’t realized just how much cursing he had picked up off of Percy and Thalia until that moment.

Loop 60:

-Nico knows what the prophecy says. One shall be lost in the land without rain.

-He knows it’s why he’s been failing so much.

-The trouble is, he no longer cares.

Loop 61:

-It took him a try, but he gets Beckendorf on the quest, prepared to defeat the Talos prototype.

Loop 62:

-Strike that, two tries.

-Nico really hates the Nemean Lion.

Loop 63, 64:

-Nico has solved half a problem: How to defeat Talos without putting someone inside the robot.

-The other half of the problem is now that they are all electrocuted by a dying automaton for their efforts.

Loop 65:

-Beckendorf’s crush--girlfriend? crush, they’re both insisting--Silena Beauregard comes along this time. Nico won’t complain over the extra manpower, even if he’s positive that eight campers and Hunters are patent overkill for one quest.

-Silena pulls Bianca out of the wreckage. Nico’s heart stops.

-Silena’s crying when she mentions that if they had been a bit earlier, she could have been revived.

-Nico wonders if Thalia’s going to stab him as he starts whooping. And takes notes about where Talos falls.

Loop 66:

-Nico swears, if Percy Jackson tries to sacrifice himself for Annabeth Chase one more time--

Loop 67:

-Bianca.

-I found you, he sobs. I found you.

-Gods damn the Hoover Dam.

Loop 68:

-And again.

-Despite having the distinct inkling at this point that he doesn’t much like like girls, Nico could kiss Silena Beauregard and Thalia Grace when they manage to revive his sister each time.

-She’s shaky and leaning on him and was dead, he could see her soul floating away--

-But she’s there.

-Nico refuses to let his sister out of the sight at the Hoover Dam and Percy befriends the Naiads this time.

-At least, until the Titans--who Nico made the very big mistake of taunting at DC--sends monsters he can’t control.

Loop 69, 70, 71, 72, 73:

-They keep dying in various combinations at the Hoover Dam now that Nico’s figured out how to save Bianca.

-At least, until he gets separated from Percy in Loop 73 and he meets a redheaded girl with a penchant for calling Nico pint-size.

-Athena dislikes Percy, Nico, Bianca, and Thalia in equal measure. Having learned of the Great Prophecy in Loop 16 and Percy’s mooning over Annabeth in. . .well, every loop, Nico can’t quite blame her.

Loop 74:

-Her name is Rachel Elizabeth Dare and Nico likes her. She takes none of their shit and if it weren’t for the fact that they already have eight people on the quest, he’d want to take her along.

-Bianca gets in a fight with the Old Man of the Sea. Thalia electrocutes him when he throws Bianca in the bay.

Loop 75:

-Nico wakes up in Westover with the distinct feeling that he was drowned on dry land.

-He stays in bed shivering, that day.

Loop 76:

-Atlas is the father of Zoë Nightshade. Nico learned this around Loop 50. He had realized around five loops ago that this probably meant she was going to die “by a parent’s hand.”

-He hadn’t realized that it was going to hurt to watch.

Loop 77, 78, 79, 80, 81:

-Now that he’s figured things out to about San Francisco, it seems the world is out to get him. The number of fights or mistakes that he either makes himself or has to head off are ridiculous.

Loop 82:

-Nico is so very tired. And wishes he felt ten years old again.

Loop 83:

-If Thalia gets in one more fight with Nereus, Nico's going to walk into the sea.

Loop 84:

-He wanders off, in this one. Grover had been killed in Hoover Dam, so Nico’s waiting for the reset at this point.

-In the meantime, Nico figures there are worse things to do than enjoy a good afternoon in San Francisco. He even meets a boy in a purple shirt.

-His name is Jason and he has hair like the sun.

-If he ever fixes this, Nico wants to find him.

Loop 85:

-Nico’s not fast enough in the junkyard.

-In San Francisco, he tries to find the ugliest, biggest trouble he can find.

-He finds a pair of teenagers in armor who yell Latin at him instead.

Loop 86:

-There’s a dragon that will attack them in the Garden of the Hesperides if they make it angry enough and Nico is so tired.

Loop 87:

- Zoë Nightshade is dead. They’ve won.

-Funny definition of “win”, considering they’ve all almost died this loop about a dozen times each, and Nico can’t explain why he’s crying on the body of a Hunter he only met a week ago, in their eyes.

-She hates him, some loops. More loops, she looks at him with ghosts of old grief in her eyes and hands him a knife.

-The gods execute Bessie, and then, Nico watches as his father turns to him and Bianca with sorrowful eyes.

-Nico should’ve figured, after almost ninety loops.

Loop 88:

-Luke offers one of them the entrails of Bessie again.

-Nico takes them.

Loop 89:

-For all the good it does. Nico wakes up as he does every time now: Powerless, in bed, and with only a grey streak to show for his efforts.

Loop 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98:

-Nico doesn’t know how to save Zoë Nightshade. Bianca, he could trick and fight his way into it. Beckendorf and Silena and Percy and a loophole in lost could save his sister.

-Her, she just. . .dies. Sometimes in DC, sometimes in San Francisco, sometimes on the hills of Mt. Tamalpais. Always at the hands of Atlas.

-Always, being murdered by her father.

-It’s not as gutting as watching his sister die, but it aches more in his chest, somehow.

Loop 99:

-He sticks close to Zoë this time. Same as he’s done with Percy, Annabeth, his sister, Thalia, and Grover, time and time again. But not her, Nico is realizing. Not the clinging he’s achieving now.

-Hoping for. . .something.

-He knows better than to tell the immortal Lieutenant of Artemis the whole truth. The loneliness is enough.

-She’s less frosty to him from the start than to, say, Grover or Percy, after Annabeth goes over the cliff again. When he shows up in DC, she’s much less angry than he’s seen her.

-Along the way to New Mexico and then San Francisco, he listens. He’s grown better at it, this far in. When the others are asleep, when Bianca is being fussed over after Talos, when everyone but them is asleep by the fire, he listens.

-And she tells him about her sisters. About her father, when the world was young and Atlas had looked on every daughter of his with pride. She tells him, pride glistening in her eyes, of the battles she has seen, the hunts she has overseen at the command of a goddess, the monsters she has killed, and the epithets she has been given.

-He doesn’t ask anything of her. Not until they’re in the house of Annabeth’s father, drinking lemonade the night before the battle, and Nico knows she is about to die again.

-What do you want, he asks. You’ve done everything. What’s left?

-She stopped, ice seems to creep over her again, and Nico wondered if he’d hit some sore spot.

-He’s opened his mouth to make his apologies when she answers, so quiet and quick he thinks he’s imagined it.

-To be remembered. When my lady has taken another lieutenant, as she must, and I have gone to where all gods go when they die, I wish for my memory to remain. And. . .

-Nico waits, and ignores the sudden, terrifying thought that he no longer knows what he wants.

-I wish to see the stars again. I was born a nymph of the sunset; starlight is precious to me. I want to see it again.

-Nico dies to preserve the memory of Zoë Nightshade.

100:

-Nico di Angelo wakes up in Westover Hall. He hopes for the last time.

-He does everything right: Annabeth goes over the cliff, his sister joins the Hunt, Percy is soon his friend, and he convinces Silena and Beckendorf to join the quest.

-The Nemean Lion never stands a chance, and Nico is glad to be rid of it.

-His sister lives.

-Nico watches Percy watch Rachel Elizabeth Dare go, looking like he’s just taken a frying pan to the face, and fights the urge to snicker.

-Thalia doesn’t start a fight with Nereus, but Percy certainly does. Nico could’ve sworn he saw the boy with sun-hair again, watching with curiosity.

- Zoë Nightshade dies in the arms of Artemis and is made into the stars she loves so dearly. Nico promises her soul that he will remember.

-For, he has found, the dead have a tendency of remembering things they shouldn’t.

-Annabeth and Percy now have grey streaks to match Nico’s, and Nico can’t wait to spend the rest of his life trying to explain that.

-It’s closer than he would like, but much less close than other lives with Olympus. The Ophiotaurus is alive and safe, and they are all alive.

-As Nico walks out of the council, he looks off to the side. By the fire is the familiar girl with red eyes--the Lady Hestia, looking much closer to Nico’s age than that of the Olympian she is.

-Besides her are three old ladies. Nico’s heard about them from Percy, in Loops 26, 53, 61, and 62.

-One lady holds a ball of string that is the color of a warm umber. The other is knitting what looked suspicious like socks. The last. . .

-Scissors, in one hand. Just as expected. Nico swallowed.

-In the other, was a knot of burnt string, tied to the socks. Behind her, Nico could see discarded string of all colors: an electric blue, a stormy grey, a black that seems to glisten with the promise of a storm, string the soft, hopeful pink of love, yarn run through with bright copper.

-Glowing threads that Nico could only describe as the color of starlight.

-As he walked out, firmly between Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace, the Hunt of Artemis behind him, Nico hears one last promise:

It is done, Nico di Angelo.

[buckyownsmylife]

t r e a c h e r o u s - chapter ii

for general warnings, author’s notes and disclaimer, please go to the fic’s masterlist 

if you’re interested, you can join my taglist

A/N for this chapter: still no smut on this one, you guys - but the next three will be pretty much pwp, so this is just me creating the little plot necessary to better enjoy the rest. That being said, this chapter is just the conversation between Sebastian and Chris that leads to the voyeurism (and subsequent affair), so if you want to skip, it’s absolutely fine. In fact, if you’re uncomfortable seeing Chris being manipulative and a lousy friend (or knowing Seb’s thoughts and feelings considering this fic is about him being cheated on), perhaps it’s best to ignore it. I still hope you guys will enjoy it, I can’t wait for the next chapter already!

Chris’ P.O.V.

I smiled as I saw Sebastian appear through the bar’s door. “Hey, man!” I called out to him, who quickly made his way towards the table I had picked out for us tonight. Despite not feeling worried after he had texted asking to see me tonight, the look on his face definitely scared me.

“Dude, what’s wrong?” My friend simply signaled for the same beer as me before finally taking a deep breath to answer.

“It’s Y/N.” I tried to ignore how those words made me feel. Ever since Sebastian had introduced me to his girlfriend, I had been having a hard time to keep her out of my head. It was particularly hard to be around her, whenever he brought her to parties or whatever. Not only did she have an incredibly tempting body, but her personality was equally intoxicating, and I loved talking to her whenever he brought her around. Despite being younger, she had a brilliant mind and the most wicked sense of humour.

It wasn’t rare that I found myself envying Sebastian for having met her first.

“What’s wrong?” I asked when the surprise finally started to wear down. “Did you guys break up?” It took a lot more effort than I expected to keep the excitement out of my tone.

“No. Well, not yet. To be completely honest, we almost did, actually.” Sighing, he took a swig of his bottle before continuing. I figured he needed the courage. “She’s… Ok, so you know how she’s... younger than us?”

Nodding, I wordlessly signaled for him to continue, growing more interested in this subject by the second.

“Every time she tried to initiate… you know, sexual activities, I’ve found myself unable to… perform.” I had to bite my lip not to laugh. Here I was, having to ignore a boner every time I so much as thought about my friend’s girlfriend and he couldn’t even get it up for her.

“Shit, man. I’m sorry to hear that. But is it only because of the age thing?” Sebastian nodded at my question.

“I mean, yeah. Obviously, I can see that she’s attractive, but for whatever reason, I can’t find myself being attracted to her. At least not when we try to initiate something. Everytime we touch I feel like a predator or whatever.” I took a deep breath before asking my next question.

“So now, what? You’re going to keep dating without having sex?” He just shrugged, a frown on his face.

“I’d be happy to, but Y/N is a ‘very sexual person’, as she likes to say. Despite the fact that I don’t see her that way.” A low chuckle escaped his chest, but it was clear to see that he felt low about the subject. “She thinks it’s better for us to break up than to keep ourselves in a relationship that doesn’t fulfill us.”

I was once again impressed by the maturity of the woman. “Sorry, man, but I have to agree with her.” My friend sighed, letting his head fall down on the table.

Seb’s P.O.V.

“You think I don’t know that? Shit, but I love her, man. I really do. I don’t want to have to learn how to live without her.” I still kept my head down as I confessed this, but I knew Chris had heard me. He didn’t offer me any words of courage, though, so I ended up raising my gaze to look at him again.

At the sight of my eyes once more, he finally spoke. “Well, what are you going to do, then?” I shrugged, taking the opportunity to take another swig of my beer.

“I don’t know. She offered me a lot of ideas, we’re supposed to think about what we can do to change my way of viewing her, and then reconvene, but I’m literally flying blind over here.”

Chris didn’t speak for a bit, opting to drink a bit more before finally asking, “What kind of ideas?” Should it be weird to talk about this with my best friend in the middle of a crowded bar? I don’t know, but I needed any help I could get, so this was happening.

“I don’t know, anything, really? She offered to film a sex tape, we’ve already tried watching porn together, she tried giving me a lap dance… She even asked if seeing her being fucked by someone else wouldn’t help it.”

Chris tensed up at the suggestion and I silently appreciated his effort not to laugh.

“She… She offered to let someone else fuck her in front of you?” He didn’t sound judgmental as he asked for clarification, so I didn’t mind giving it to him.

“Yeah. She thinks maybe that will make me see her in a different way.” For a second, Chris didn’t say anything else. But then he asked something I wasn’t anticipating.

“Well… will it?” Huh. I hadn’t actually given it a lot of thought. I’d been more preoccupied with the possibility of losing her, but the truth was, I had to figure out what could be done so that wouldn’t happen. And that was one of her suggestions.

“I mean… probably? I think it’d play with some aspect of jealousy and possession, while still being much sexier than simply watching porn or a homemade video together. I… I think I could see myself doing that, the only question is… who would we invite to do this?” 

I played with the bottle in my hands as I pondered over the question, until Chris cleared his throat, calling my attention to him. “Well, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. Besides listening to you, of course.” He didn’t meet my eyes, and I could see that he was a bit uncomfortable. Maybe the subject of our conversation had finally dawned upon him. Or maybe…

Did he think I’d invite him? Was that why he was fidgety? He didn’t want to have to tell me no? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that Chris was, in fact, the best option to do this with. To start off, he was the only person besides me and Y/N who knew about our situation. He was my best friend and he was good friends with her, and he’d never once done anything to make me feel jealous of her.

“Chris…” I called his attention. “Listen, bud… You can say no and I will not be angry or disappointed, really, but I have to ask. Would you consider doing this for us?” His eyes pierced mine in the dim light of the bar, and for a few seconds, he said nothing. I didn’t interrupt the relative silence that’d fallen upon us either, wanting to give him the time to think.

Just when I was able to offer him the possibility of answering me some other day, he nodded, the beer bottle between his lips as he took a sip. “Sure, man. I can do this for you. And I think it’s the best option, right? Definitely better than involving another person in your relationship. At least, you can trust me.”

He was right. I trusted Chris, that’s why I told him about what was going on in the first place. We made a toast to our undying friendship and I promised to text him after I’d spoken to Y/N, so we could figure out the details. That night, I went home extremely thankful for having a friend like Chris, and the hope that my relationship could be salvaged in the end.

[smutty-skyrim]

Ralof || NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare

Ralof is more than happy to help you wipe up after sex. Him reaching down and cleaning you is likely to lead to his fingers wandering to your clit to rub out another, on occasion. He’ll lay beside you and run a hand up and down your side with a content sigh.

If it was a rough session his wandering hand will extend over your body, rubbing soft circles on the tender skin and kissing any bruises.

B = Body Part

Ralof likes his eyes. He’s been complimented on them his whole life. They’re prominent and blue as the sky, 

He finds himself fond of your hands. Just looking at them makes his mind wander to them roaming his body and stroking his cock.

C = Cum

There’s something about painting your face with hot strands of cum that does it for him. It’s best if you’re eagerly waiting with a smile, mouth wide to catch what it can.

D = Dirty Secret 

Ralof wants to watch you get fucked into the bed by somebody else. He imagines Ulfric Stormcloak, taking you as if you were his. He imagines the way you’d moan and writhe beneath the Jarl.

More confusingly, he also imagines you getting taken by Hadvar, the man he’s seen as competition for years. It makes him squirm, but it also makes him hard. He’s cum to the thought several times, and buries the memories with shame.

E = Experience

Ralof is very experienced. He’s been with plenty of women in his day, from the lass in Helgen to one night stands while traveling with the army. He acts with confidence, each move natural and purposeful. He reads you easily, but enjoys when you tell him what you like. 

F = Favorite Position

Ralof likes to take you from behind while you’re laying down. He likes feeling your ass against him as he thrusts and likes laying with his chest pressed to your back, breath hot on your ear. In the most intimate moments, he’ll lace his fingers with yours.

G = Goofy

It’s common for Ralof to crack a joke here and there. Conversation comes naturally to the man and he likes seeing you smile. He’ll also occasionally try to initiate with a cheesy pickup line just to hear the sound of your laugh.

H = Hair

Ralof doesn’t care much about the state of his pubic hair. Though always clean, and rather soft, it’s notably unruly. It’s blond, and a couple shades darker than the hair on his head.

I = Intimacy

Ralof is used to keeping some distance between himself and his partners, even if his gestures are romantic. With you, he finds himself softening. He likes making you swoon, and takes pride in each smile he paints on your lips. 

If you’d rather him be more rough, he’ll happily oblige. But there will never be any question that he needs you desperately. He’ll still work toward your pleasure, eager to feel you cum around his length.

J = Jack Off

Ralof masturbates frequently. He enjoys cumming and will do so whether or not he has a partner present. That being said, he prefers your assistance when he can have it.

K = Kink

Biting & Scratching - He enjoys feeling the sensations of your nails raking down his back and loves sinking his teeth into the supple flesh of your ass.

Leaving Marks - His favorite thing is seeing the marks of your escapades the next day. He’ll suck the tender spot on your neck until it bruises and you’re left to cover it up the next day. If you’re into impact play, he’ll happily spank you until you’re black and blue.

L = Location

Ralof likes to fuck at your house. Though, anywhere in your house is fine by his standards. Too often he’s forced to fuck you in silence and secret on the road with the Rebellion. When he can take you wherever he wants behind those closed doors? It’s freeing.

M = Motivation

Just about anything gets Ralof going. His mind is quick to wander. But your touch is one thing that can set him alight the fastest. The feeling of your fingertips ghosting down the back of his neck, or your hand running up his thigh will drive him out of his mind.

N = NO

Ralof is a little put off by the idea of anal. He loves asses, but he’s just not sure how he feels about being in one. If you suggest ass play at all, he might be willing to stick a finger in yours. That’s probably the furthest he’ll be willing to go.

O = Oral

He loves when you suck his dick. He encourages it with a gentle hand on your head guiding you downward. He’ll lead you through the motions and buck into your mouth. He grunts and sighs, curling his fingers in your hair.

He doesn’t mind giving oral, but it’s not his first choice. He considers himself more skilled with his hands and cock. 

P = Pace

Ralof fucks with passion, and often hard and fast. His hips snap roughly against yours. He won’t relent, savoring each moment of you coming undone.

Q = Quickie

Ralof usually likes to get right into the action, so he’s not opposed to quickies. He likes seeing if he can get you to cum in a short span of time. Often you going over the edge is enough to send him along with you.

R = Risk

While he wouldn’t classify himself as a risk taker, Ralof is willing to do some edgier things in bed. He likes public sex and will actively try and get you to make noise around others. He likes power exchanges and rough sex, and is almost always willing to try something new on that front. That being said, he’s perfectly content with vanilla sex and enjoys it just as much.

S = Stamina

Ralof lasts a decent amount of time in bed and tries to make sure you finish before he does. He takes a little bit to build up to another round but he can usually manage one or two more before the day is over. 

T = Toy

Ralof prefers to use his hands to make you cum, but if you want toys he’s happy to oblige. 

If you’re interested in anal, he’s more than happy to get you some plugs and a dildo to play around with. Just because he doesn’t want to fuck you in the ass doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get to enjoy it.

U = Unfair

Ralof is a tease, but you always know it’s going to pay off in the end. He likes to drag things out and see if he can make you take the initiative. His favorite is when you’re the one who pulls him aside to fuck.

V = Volume

Ralof is on the quieter side, though prone to grunts and groans of pleasure. He’s learned to keep it down over time but is more than happy to let you know exactly how good you feel. He’s also not half bad at dirty talk, and you’ll find some slipping out in the heat of the moment.

W = Wild Card

Ralof loves having his balls played with, but they’re very sensitive. Your hands have to be gentle as they fondle them, and your licks light and tender. Enough teasing, and he’ll be trembling beneath your touch.

X = X-Ray

Ralof is muscular, with scars streaking his fair skin. He’s got thicker body hair - something common among Nords. 

His cock is a little over 7” and is of average girth.

Y = Yearning

Ralof has a very high sex drive. If he has it his way, he’ll cum at least once a day. More is preferred, though sometimes he just can’t manage more than one or two. If you aren’t interested, he’s more than willing to slip off and take care of the deed himself.

Z = ZZZ

Ralof doesn’t doze off afterwards often. He may lay there in a sleepy haze, but he won’t fall asleep. Some of your best conversations happen in these intimate little moments.

[meltwonu]

s n a k e     |     e y e s     [chapter 3]

pairing; snakehybrid!woozi x female!reader

this chapter’s notes; 🥺💕thank you for all the interest in snake eyes!! I can't believe it!! y’all don’t know how happy that makes me because I love this au!! 💕💕💕 in this chapter: jihoonie makes a small oopsies 🥴oral(female receiving), minor switch!woozi, hehehe... im sorry, im mean and u will know why 😭😭💕 also this chapter is long, strap in for the long ass ride!! yeehaw

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - x - x - x - x

It takes a week and a half for you and Jihoon to really fall into a rhythm that suits his and your needs.

Jihoon is still shy around you, only spending an hour or two with you while you work until he feels too awkward again, slinking away back into his room. You wonder, periodically, if he happened to hear what you were doing in your bedroom the night he came to stay with you and if that was the reason he’d been so shy and quiet around you. But you quickly shake the thoughts out of your head, preferring to believe that he hadn’t, for your sake and his. Jihoon had never mentioned anything to you anyway, so you had no reason to believe he’d heard anything.

But it’s a rainy Sunday afternoon that has you bundled up in an oversized sweater on the living room sofa, laptop haphazardly on a side table while you take a break from writing. A movie plays quietly on the tv in front of you, but you don’t really pay attention to it. Jihoon emerges from his room, covered up in a big sweater and his sweats as he takes a seat on the opposite end of the sofa.

“It’s… r-really cold today…” His voice is soft, almost a whisper, as he pulls his legs up onto the sofa, crossing them as he tries to cover his skin. “I… kinda had a h-hard time sleeping.”

“Did you need more heaters? The forecast said it’s supposed to rain for the next couple days, Jihoon…” You trail off, already sliding off of the sofa as you fetch a blanket for the cold male. “I can go pick you up another one tomorrow, if you’d like?” Draping the soft blanket over him, he thanks you, snuggling into the soft material. “If it’s okay… I don’t want you to go out of your way if it’s too much.” You chuckle, settling into your spot on the sofa again as you pick up your laptop to get a bit of work done.

“Nonsense, I want you to be comfortable here.”

Jihoon’s stomach grumbles 45 minutes later as he sinks deeper into the plush blanket, hiding the flush that covers his cheeks. You laugh slightly, already hopping off to make him and yourself a snack to eat.

“You’re more than welcome to rummage the kitchen whenever you want, y’kno. Or if you want me to make you something to eat, you can always ask.”

“Sorry I’m just… still getting used to it. You’re definitely nicer than my past owners.” You hum, curious about how his previous owners treated him for him to be this shy, or if he was just naturally always this timid. “It’s okay! Take your time. I know it’s weird but I’m… I’m still getting used to it too.” You feel your body heating up, suddenly reminded of a questionable dream you’d had the previous night; the cute snake hybrid invading even your mind when you slept recently. God I really need to get laid somehow, you think, maybe that cute barista from down the street would be interested? I think his name was Jun. Reminder to self to get his number next time.

You grab a pan, setting it onto the stove as you gather ingredients to make ddeokbokki; something that Jihoon really loved to snack on. “Hey, Jihoon? Did you wanna help me make this? I can teach you a bit!” 

There’s a shuffling from the living room before the blonde haired male steps into the kitchen, a curious look on his face.

“I’ve never cooked before though…”

“It’ s okay! I can teach you. Just so that.. Um, just in case I’m not home or something and you get hungry?” He nods, stepping closer towards you as you set various ingredients onto the counter top. “Okay, I’ll just... Watch you.” You smile at him, urging him to come closer as you begin explaining what to do. But Jihoon’s mind fixates on something else, your voice getting drowned out when he feels the warmth radiating off of your body when he steps closer. Unbeknownst to you, Jihoon decides to stand almost directly behind you as you continue to explain how to cook to him.

When his hands start to slide up the hem of your sweater, you pause, setting the measuring cup back onto the counter top where it was before. Jihoon’s cold fingertips begin traveling up your sides, delicately caressing your skin under your sweater. Your breath is caught in your throat when he then leans his head over your shoulder, his tongue softly lapping at the exposed skin of your neck. A moan catches in your throat when you realize your body’s already rapidly heating up at his touch, the snake hybrid behind you also letting out a tiny moan of his own when he realizes how warm you’ve gotten.

But you snap back to reality, panic taking over when you let out a garbled noise, pushing back against Jihoon.

“Oh my g-god, wait--wh--”

Jihoon panics, pupils shaking as he pulls away completely, pressing himself into the fridge for a second before immediately bolting out of the kitchen without a word; only a door slam in the distance letting you know where he is.

A couple hours pass, the rain still pattering against the window as the moon rises beyond the clouds.

The ddeokbokki from earlier went unmade; ingredients going back to their original places as you decided to retreat to your own bedroom to catch your breath and cool yourself down. You really hadn’t hated what happened earlier, but it was quite the shock, and you could only imagine what Jihoon was feeling as well. But you set those feelings aside, making your way down the hallway to his bedroom to ask him about dinner. Fuck, he must be starving. He didn’t even eat earlier, you think.

You knock on his door, a muffled “yes?” coming from the other side.

“Jihoon did you want to eat dinner with me or will you eat later?”

“Uhm, hmm, I’m…um, I’ll.. I’ll eat with y-you.”

You set up the dinner table, setting Jihoon’s food across from you. You were glad that he just ate normal human food as it made it easier for you to take care of him; unsure if you could sit and watch him eat what snakes normally did. Hearing a door click, you break out of your thoughts, seeing him walk towards the dining table with a blush on his face.

“I… um…”

“Yes Jihoon?”

“I just… about earlier, I wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have… um, stuck my hands in y-your shirt like that…”

The memory alone has you blushing, his delicate and cold fingertips brushing against your ribcage had a tingle traveling up your spine and down to your fingertips. You hadn’t hated it; just the shock from his touches had you initially recoiling, sending Jihoon running straight for his bedroom where he had holed up for hours.

“I… It was okay. I, um, didn’t hate it actually…”

“O-oh, uh, so… um, is it okay? If… If I do that sometimes? It’s… you feel nicer than, um, the h-heaters in my room so…”

“Y-yeah, I mean… y-yes, that would be… okay.” Shock momentarily flits over his features before a genuine smile etches onto his face. “Okay… U-um I mean, it---it won’t---I won’t, y’know, stick my hands in your shirt but maybe like---like we can, um, cuddle? Sometimes?” You almost choke on your food at his suggestion, suddenly too shy to make eye contact with him at how innocent it all sounded.

“Yeah that… that would be fine!”

The two of you have normal dinner conversations, you asking him about songs he’s been working on while he asks you about work. You remind him that you’ll pick up a new heater in the morning and begin clearing the table with his help.

When the dishes are cleared, you bid Jihoon a good night; thankful that the snake hybrid wasn’t too awkward after everything that had happened earlier in the day. He calls your name as you turn away from your doorway to face him again.

“Yes, Jihoon?”

“Um, I was wondering… If it’d be okay if I slept in your room? It’s just… Uh, it’s cold and raining and... yeah.”  

You contemplate it for a second, wondering if that was really the best idea, all things considered. But you mentally shrug, thinking, it’s just sleep.

“Sure, why not. Why don’t you get ready for bed and just… come in when you’re ready?” He nods, thanking you before he slinks down the hallway to his bedroom to change. The entire thing feels a little questionable, but you shrug it off, getting ready for bed before Jihoon shows up.

Admittedly, you normally would sleep in a big shirt and panties since you slept alone. But since Jihoon would be joining you this time, you slip on a sweater and some pajama pants, opting to be completely covered in order to prevent any potential mishaps. You could only pray your dreams were normal.

There’s a knock on the door when you slide under the bed sheets, adjusting your pillows before you reply.

“Come in!”

Jihoon opens the door, shutting it behind him as he stands in front of it awkwardly. Much like yourself, he stands there in an oversized sweater and pajama pants, hands digging into the material of his sweater as he takes in the features of your bedroom. When his eyes finally land on you already under the sheets, you pat the side of the bed that’s empty, inviting him in.

“C’mon let’s sleep. I still need to go out tomorrow morning to get your things.”

The extra heater is forgotten the next morning when you wake up in his iron grip.

It’s not uncomfortable, but he’s only got one arm wrapped around your waist and you find it almost virtually impossible to escape his hold as he snores softly into your neck. So you lay there, listening to the pitter-patter of the non-stop rain and his soft breaths, thankful that the two of you had fallen asleep without a hitch and that your dreams were normal.

Jihoon had quietly slid into the large bed with you, muttering a ‘good night’ before your radiating warmth under the sheets had lulled him to sleep.

You don’t know how much time passes as you lay there, but eventually Jihoon decides to wake up, a yawn and a simple ‘good morning’ muffled into your skin before he pulls away, turning to face the opposite side. You sit up, rubbing your tired eyes as you check the clock. 11:09am.

“Did you want breakfast?”

You never buy the heater; Jihoon happily moving some of his personal items to your bedroom after that late morning breakfast. And you didn’t mind, as long as the snake hybrid was happy, so were you.

He had dragged in a heater, using it on nights when you came to bed late, only for you to shut it off when you finally slid underneath the covers. He would easily find your warmth, rolling over to lock you into his grasp as you fell asleep.

It became routine over the next couple of weeks, even when the clouds cleared and the days and nights were warm. Jihoon opened up to you more as well, dragging his keyboard into the living room to play you some of the songs he’d been working on in his old bedroom, now a work space. You’d often work in your spare room but recently you’d been spending more time in the living room with Jihoon, finding the space more comfortable to be in. Setting your work away, you lay down on the sofa, a yawn on your lips.

“Hey, can I, um, ask you something?”

His voice breaks you out of your train of thought as you adjust your body. Jihoon sits on the floor near the window, fingers tapping random keys on the keyboard as he avoids eye contact.

“Yeah, what’s up?” There’s hesitance written all over his face before he nods to himself, exhaling sharply before he replies.

“I… I know maybe I’m asking for a lot and, I mean, feel free to say no because I know you probably will! And that’s--that’s okay but I was wondering… if--if I…” Jihoon pauses for much too long as you raise a brow.

“If you what? Jihoon, is everything okay?”

“I, yeah, everything’s fine, I just.. I’m sorry, I… It’s okay if you think it’s weird and I’ve never really done it before either but I just, I noticed when… when I touch you, you get really, um, warm and I… I like it a lot so I was wondering if I could try something?”

A million different thoughts float through your head in a millisecond and you can’t stop the blush that creeps up your neck and paints your face red.

“Um, I guess… it would depend? What exactly… did you want to try?” You bite the inside of your cheek, already trying to keep yourself from squirming around.

“I… can I try… eating you out? I wanna see something.”

The formality of Jihoon asking so politely if he could go down on you sends your brain short circuiting quicker than lightning.

He’s convinced at this point you hate him and will probably send him back to the adoption home the next day when he sees the blank look on your face as you process.

“Shit, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked that, I---”

“Y-yes…”

“Wait, what, hold--” Jihoon turns into a sputtering mess, his palms clammy against his sweats as he squirms. “Wait, did you say… yes?” You nod, already feeling the heat pooling in your lower abdomen as you shift awkwardly on the sofa. “Yeah I… um, I’d… be okay with that…” Trailing off, you try to look at everything but Jihoon, mildly embarrassed at how increasingly wet you were already getting.

“O-okay, um, when should we… do it?” Jihoon’s voice is shaky and to anyone else he sounded nervous, but inside he could barely contain his new found excitement.

“Now is okay? I… I’m okay with right now.” You finally look at him, finding him already crawling over to you on the floor before moving the coffee table enough to sit on his knees in front of you. “I guess, let’s start…?” He trails off, the blush never leaving his face as he twiddles his thumbs. You nod, sitting up to slide your shorts off, shimmying to the edge of the sofa as you spread your legs for him.

“Interesting.”

“W-what?” You stare at him from between your legs as he slots himself in front of you, cold palms holding your thighs open as you shiver from his touch. “Nothing, just… you’re already wet.”

If there was a sinkhole underneath you, you’d like for it to take you right about now. The embarrassment sets your body on fire as Jihoon chuckles under his breath. “And now you’re really warm? Interesting.” You bite your lip as he leans in closer to your clothed mound, his tongue peeking out from between his lips.

“Ready to test my theory?”

Gulping, he doesn’t even give you a chance to reply before he’s licking you through your panties, his tongue adding pressure along the wet patch growing on the fabric. Your thighs threaten to clamp shut around his head but his grip on you is too tight, prying your legs wide open as he continues to lick at your clothed entrance.

Jihoon pauses for a second, a groan leaving his lips. “Fuck, you taste so good, I need to get these panties off of you now.” Agreeing, you hook your fingers into the band of your panties, ready to get them off.

“Ah, ah, not like that.” There’s a ghost of a smirk on his face before he lets go of your thighs, fingertips pushing your hands away and replacing them with his before he tears them in half, the soaked material sliding off of your body as you stare at him in shock.

“Jihoon, what th---”

“What? Didn’t think I was capable?” You’re at a loss for words; the sudden change in his demeanor from shy to slightly dominating, intoxicating. “I’m just… wow.” He laughs at your lack of response, gripping your thighs again as he leans back in, his tongue already on your slit as he licks up a stripe from your clit to your entrance. Your hands immediately tangle into his hair, moaning as his tongue laps at your wetness.

You feel like you’re floating on clouds, warm and dreamy while Jihoon eats you out. He hadn’t even used his fingers on you yet, only sliding his tongue through your folds and prodding at your entrance and you were sure you could cum just like this.

“Ngh, Jihoon… Can you… make me cum?”

The male between your legs hums in response before his tongue flicks at your clit, a groan leaving you when he draws harsh circles around the nub. You can feel the pressure in your body cresting as you try to grind down on his waiting tongue.

“Jihoon, I’m---”

When you wake up, Jihoon is still by the window, notebook full of music related jargon as he glances up at you. “Oh hey, I was wondering when you’d wake up. You fell asleep so fast after you laid down, I was gonna ask if you wanted to hear some of the stuff I was working on but you were out like a light.”

Your head is void of any thoughts as you stare blankly into Jihoon’s face; the entire thing had been a dream. A cold sweat coats your body as you sit up, the wetness between your legs insanely real.

“I… yeah, I guess I was tired… I--I didn’t say anything weird in my sleep, did I?”

Jihoon ponders for a moment, lips tilting cutely up into a pout.

“No, I mean, you made some weird little squeaky noises but… that was it. Why? Did you have a weird dream or something?”

“Uh… no, just… wondering.”

Fuck.

[fijiangecko]

Maintaining a New Life

Chapter 2: Evasion Tactics

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Read it on AO3 here

Kuroo Tetsurou x Fem!Reader

Rating: Teen and Up for Violence and Language

A/N: Hey guys! I know this chapter wasn't as long but we're getting to some good stuff here in the upcoming chapters. My life has been hectic as fuck (mostly just shit from job) but I'm really happy to be writing to take my mind off of everything. Hope you liked it! Thanks for reading!

~~~~~~~~

Tooru and Hajime tense, the sound of a pen dropping the only thing that fills the room. You continue to stare at the paperwork, waiting for them to say something.

“What do you mean?” Hajime is the first to speak. His voice is quiet and unsure, but he wouldn’t let the silence drown them.

“I mean, they’re getting closer to the Agency, to us.” Straightening out a stack of papers, you slide them into a file folder, cleaning up your desk area. “The case from today involved a company that Washijo bought several years ago.” Tooru clenches his fists as you continue. “They were working on one of his experiments.” 

“Did the others find out?” Tooru interjects, you glance at him but look away to file some more paperwork.

“The others only know what the police know. None of the reports from those experiments mentioned the Port Mafia or Washijo’s name as per usual.” You slip the last few bits of paper into a pile before stretching out your arms above your head, shoulders and back popping loud enough for the two others to hear. “I just thought it was concerning that more and more mafia connections are making appearances in our line of work.”

“It makes sense, though. We are a detective agency and they make up almost 60% of Yokohama’s crimes.” Iwaizumi explains, folding his arms over his chest and biting his lip in contemplation.

“I understand that and I knew when I joined the agency that seeing them was unavoidable. I just wanted to tell you both that it’s been happening more, and that they’re making moves.” You stand up from your chair, grabbing your belongings and placing it back under the desk.

They all go quiet, either thinking of what to say next or simply wanting the conversation to be over. Tooru speaks, letting his thoughts out. “So do we just… ignore it?”

You begin to put on your coat which you had forgotten earlier, buttoning it as you speak. “What else can we do? You two are more safe in this scenario than I am. If I get recognized by any of them, it’s game over.” You don't bother looking at them, knowing that Iwaizumi’s fists would be clenched and that Tooru’s lips were going to be pursued. Both of them are doing what you predicted, but Iwaizumi releases his tension first, instead tapping his foot on the ground in contemplation.

“I would suggest we just keep laying low.” He looks between his two friends, gauging your reactions before he speaks further. Tooru nods in agreement while looking at you who takes a second to make eye contact. You give him one small nod before he continues. “You probably shouldn’t take any more jobs that could relate to them in any way. Oikawa and I will cover for you in the meantime.”

This time you look between them both. Oikawa pleads with his eyes, knowing that you can be quite stubborn and Hajime looks at you with acknowledgment, as if he already knows you agree.

Another tiny nod makes the boys sigh in relief, each taking a moment to regain their composure before grabbing their personal belongings. They whisper something between themselves while you walk over to the front door, taking out your keys.

“Maybe you should just use your vacation days for a week or two and hop it all dies down by the time you get back…” Tooru jokes, bumping his elbow into your side before stepping out of the door.

You scoff lightly, rolling your eyes. “I don’t think Takeda and Ukai would like that very much.” Iwaizumi walks out, and you turn to lock up.

The three of you step out onto the street, pulling your coats tighter to your bodies after making initial contact with the cold air. You set the pace when they walk towards the subway, but talk quietly. “I don’t mind laying off the cases for a bit, I mean, they’re not going to like that I’m ‘slacking’, but I agree that this is our best bet.”

Following behind you, they silently bump fists, walking the rest of the way home with light chatter.

~

“Morning everyone.” You walk in, two cups of coffee tight in your grasp.

“Morning Y/N!” The interns reply, all turning in their chairs to greet you. Hinata and Lev, once again, start to say their greetings louder and louder. You laugh it off and greet them both personally before walking over to your desk.

Kuroo sits at his, head down in his arms with a slight groan.

You take immediate notice and poke his shoulder. “Rough night?”

“You have no idea.” He mumbles in his arms before slowly leaning back up. “Bokuto drinks like a monster and I tried to keep up to boost his morale.” You smile and laugh lightly at the notion, but set one of the coffee cups down on his desk before leaning on it. Although his head is pounding, his heart joins the fray once he sees your smile.

“Well, serves you right for drinking on a weeknight.” You smirk before taking a sip from your own cup.

He thanks you by picking up the cup and ‘cheering’ it into the air before taking a sip as well. It was still quite warm, but it was just how he likes it. You move off of his desk and into your chair to get started on some morning paperwork, his eyes watching you as you do so.

For the most part, the morning goes by without a hitch, and after about an hour or so of quietly working, Takeda makes his way out of his office and in front of the agency's main room. “Morning everyone, nice to see you’re looking… decent enough.” He makes eye contact with Kuroo, and you fight down a smile. “I got a few calls this morning, mostly regarding smaller cases but I did get one from the police academy. This case will only be an opportunity for a few members of the agency, but please come talk to Ukai or myself if you’re interested. The others will be emailed to you here very shortly.” Bokuto slaps Kuroo’s shoulder, wiggling his eyebrows when the other man turns to look at him.

They talk amongst themselves for a moment before Akaashi walks over and joins their conversation. You continue your paperwork, not paying any attention to the group of boys all staring at you. 

“So what do ya say Y/N? Looking to get another big payday?” Bokuto speaks up, loud enough for everyone to hear. You look up, and find a majority of the agency staring at the group. Iwaizumi and Oikawa flash a concerned look in your direction, but quickly go back to minding their business.

You don't let your guard down for a second, responding quickly. “I actually told Iwa and Oikawa that I would help them on a couple of cases over the next week.” You give the boys a sad smile before gesturing to the aforementioned guys. Oikawa perks up and waves at the three while Iwaizumi tends to his work.

Kuroo looks back at you, frown adorning his lips. “Oh… okay. No worries.” He flashes a smile right before Bokuto slaps him hard on the shoulder blade.

“Just remember that you owe us a night out!” He lets out a loud laugh, while the rest of the agency just sighs.

“Of course, Bo, how could I forget.” With one last smile, you grab some papers and make your way over to Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s desks.

Tooru breaks into laughter when you reach his desk, leaning your hip on the side. Your eyebrows furrow before he breathes out. “Jesus Y/N, could you break the man's heart any more?”

“You gotta let him down easy.” Hajime pipes up, smirking from his side of the desks while still doing paperwork.

“What the hell are you guys talking about?!” You look between the two, confused as all hell. They share a moment between themselves before rolling their eyes and face you.

“Forget it.” Iwaizumi says, passing you a paper over the computers. “We’re gonna take a few of the small ones to fill the next couple of days. Hopefully Sawamura or Akaashi’s groups take the big ones so we don’t have too.” On the piece of paper is a case list with markings. Some are crossed out and others have little stars next to them.

“And that means that Y/N finally gets to spend more time with us!” Oikawa sings, leaning back in his chair. The three of them all miss how Kuroo looks at you from across the room, hearing how they get to spend more time with you. Something in his heart pains, but he immediately writes it off as stupid and looks for Akaashi.

~

Over the next few days yourself, Iwaizumi and Oikawa took on a bunch of smaller cases, filling their quota while trying to maintain some form of privacy around other agency members. Iwa talked with Sawamura and his little group to ‘give’ them some bigger jobs, by framing it as Oikawa’s complaining about the heavy workload. Which Tooru complained about.

“Are you guys sure you don’t wanna take on the bank case?” Daichi walks up to your group of three, who are hunched over Iwa’s desk looking over info. Oikawa stands up straight, you to the left of him also stretching out your back. Sugawara and Asahi stand behind Daichi, each with a couple of files under their arms.

“We’re sure! Wanted to chill out for a couple of days, take on some divorce cases and slack off a bit. Let you guys catch up to us.” Oikawa waves his hands and smiles, leaning back on Iwa’s desk when said man spins around in his chair.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that Oikawa. Our case stack has been pilling p-r-e-t-t-y high, if not higher than yours.” Sugawara takes the paper from under his arm and waves it in Oikawa’s face, singing his words in a mocking tone. A slight snarl appears on Tooru’s face while Sugawara continues to tease.

“Well, not if we add Y/N’s files!” Oikawa snaps, leaning forward from his position as if to rub his nose in the air.

“But those files belong to our stack.” The sound of a door shutting turns everyone’s attention down the hall to a tall figure. “Since Y/N’s technically a part of our group.” Kuroo steps out of the infirmary, an even wider smirk displayed across his lips as he saunters over to the group, buttoning his blazer. “Therefore we have the highest completed case pile in the agency.”

You had been watching everything go down while leaning a hip on the side of Iwaizumi’s desk, occasionally glancing at one another to roll your eyes. Kuroo’s proposition made her eyebrow quirk, but you decide to chime in. “And the detective with the highest number of cases completed is who?”

Everyone turns to you with a sigh. Even those who didn’t say anything all mutter a response. “...you…”

“That’s what I thought.” You hoist yourself off from the desk and pluck a paper from one of the many stacks, waving it in all of their faces. “Let’s not go around comparing case stacks when you all aren’t even close.”

“Getting a little cocky, aren’t you Y/N?” Oikawa hums while making his way back to his desk.

“I think it’s well earned since I am a founding member.” You flash a sickeningly sweet smile, but your eyes hold something else. Kuroo watches the interaction and tries to decipher what seems to be the double-meaning behind such a wicked smile, but Oikawa seems to get the memo as he rolls his eyes jokingly. 

“Alright, can everyone get away from my desk? So I can do my job?” Hajime interjects, everyone groaning slightly and dismissing themselves.

Kuroo walks over to his desk, making small talk with Bokuto as Akaashi diligently types up his report. Sawamura, Sugawara and Asahi walk over to their desks while talking about that bank case and how to proceed. You briefly chat with Oikawa, lowering your voice to conceal certain aspects of their conversation, but after a few moments you make your way back to your actual desk and sift through some supplies.

“So, are you still hangin’ out with the pretty boy and his bodyguard?” Kuroo keeps his eyes on his computer screen, jaw tight and his usual teasing tone nowhere to be found.

“Aww, you think Oikawa’s pretty?” You smirk, noting his serious demeanor but choosing to ignore it. Even after your sny comment, he doesn’t bother to look up at you, and just continues his work. With tight lips you search through your desk drawers.

“Welcome back Y/N! Are you ready to catch some bad guys and hang out with us again?” Bokuto’s boisterous personality fills the room when he plants a firm slap on your shoulder. His smile is bright and his eyes gleam with hope as you had walked back over to your quadrant of desks.

Standing up straight, you smile at him sadly and place a hand on top of his. “I’m sorry Bo, I made a deal with Iwaizumi the other day to help with a couple B and E cases.” His face falters, as well as Kuroo’s who had bothered to watch the interaction. “Maybe in a couple days!”

As you move your hand off of his, Bokuto steps forward and traps you by your desk. “Okay but! We have some files here with a muder case!” He leans around you and grasps at a file on Akaashi’s desk, who pounds away at his keyboard. Opening the file, Bokuto waves it in front of your face. “Guy got shot in the chest three times and jaw smashed in, it’s definitely the Port Mafia’s M.O. Might be fun!” He finishes in a sing-song voice, peeking his eyes over the top of the file.

Your eyes hold a very different reaction than his. They widen and your heart picks up its pace. “We haven’t gotten any mafia cases in months…” Kuroo catches your reaction, as well as a different duo from across the room. Iwaizumi and Oikawa watch with bated breath to see what will happen.

“Yeah, that’s what makes this one fun!” Bokuto places the file into your hands, not really aware of your reaction and cheerfully smiles as he points to the crime scene photos.

You let him talk for another few minutes as he explains the surface level details, but he waits expectantly for an answer when he’s done, big eyes staring right into yours. “Like I said Bo, I’m still working with Oikawa and Iwa on some minor ones.” The smile drops immediately, his hair following quickly after. Kuroo clenches his jaw as he listens to Oikawa and Iwa sighs in what sounds to be relief after your statement. You force a small smile. “But you guys be careful,” you say before walking off to the other detectives.

~

A few days passed since that interaction, leaving Kuroo’s group a little confused on when you meant to come back. They were persistent (one person more so than the other) in their pursuit to get the gang back together, but you dodged them everytime. Kuroo saw less of you every day, and the rest of the agency noted his agitated expression almost every morning when he saw you sitting in Oikawa’s chair while having a chat with the two men.

Today was the beginning of a new week, which means it’s time for an update from the agency presidents.

“Morning everyone. Ukai and myself just wanted to thank everyone for all of their hard work over the past week. Our case numbers went up quite a bit and productivity has been fantastic.” Takeda speaks with a sweet tone as he stands in front of everyone. The agency is attentive to his words and nods at the statement. “That being said, after discussing with several team members, we decided to mix it up a bit since we have a very hefty case and will be assigning a team to it based on their abilities.” The room fills with whispers, as this was not a normal occurrence in the office. Detectives were given free range over who they wanted to work with and the cases they picked as long as it remained civil between all members. Oikawa throws you a sly glance, but you remain stoic at Takeda’s words. “The police specifically asked for help on this one so we went over each member's strengths and weaknesses.” The room dies down as everyone waits to hear the names. The police weren’t usually so giving in these kinds of situations, usually opting to handle things by themselves as to not use gifted people around the public. 

Ukai waits for the room to go silent before he speaks. “Kuroo, Iwaizumi, Oikawa-” The three glance between each other, confusion etched into their brows. “-and Y/N are the four best suited for this, if they would meet us in the conference room later today.” You place a hand over your mouth at his words, rubbing your lips before wiping your chin. Kuroo tries to remain calm at the mention of your name, but his heart skips a beat at the prospect of working with you on a major case again. “Other than that, everyone should continue as normal.” Ukai and Takeda bow before walking back into their office.

Bokuto is the first to pipe up, loudly congratulating Kuroo on his ‘promotion’. All of the interns share their congrats as well to the rest of you, wishing you luck with the cops. Sawamura’s team makes their way over to your small group and gives you some pointers on how not to piss off the police chief before walking off.

As if one cue, the four of you stand up and make your way down the halls of the agency to the conference room for the debriefing session. Kuroo and Oikawa take the lead while you and Iwa walk further behind them, whispering.

“This can’t be good if the police are involved.” You lean closer to him as you speak.

“It might just be a drug bust.” Hajime offers in a reassuring tone, mostly to offer himself some sort of comfort. When the three of you were announced, your bet was that everyone had the same reaction and thoughts. This is a Port Mafia case that can’t be finished through normal legal action.

Oikawa chats with Kuroo as they enter the room, taking seats on the further end of the table. You sit yourself between them and Iwa sits to the right of Tooru. Only a few silent moments pass before both Takeda and Ukai enter the room, files stacked in their arms.

“Alright you four, this is a big one.” They set the files down in front of each of you, turning to their own and reading through the material.

Ukai starts. “The police specifically asked for two of you in this case based on previous encounters and the other two were chosen based on abilities and teamwork with the other members. We won’t say who is who, but the cops are willing to offer any of their resources to get this case solved as soon as possible.” Kuroo nudges your foot under the table, and in your peripheral you can see the makings of a grin on his face. In his head, he fully believes you were the two requested.

“Not to be a pain, but why wouldn’t they ask for Bokuto? He’s usually able to solve cases in less than a day.” Iwaizumi speaks with his arms crossed, leaning back into the chair.

“There are several reasons for Bokuto, or any of the other members for that fact, to not work in this case. It requires a level of… maturity to be solved and once again, we are working alongside the police force and we can’t have any internal conflicts.” Takeda speaks from across the table, a reassuring smile on his lips. “Plus, we believe this group will work exceptionally well together.”

“Now,” Ukai clears his throat. “This case has been going on for about a month already. The police academy has let several of their own detectives try their hands at it and no one has been able to get a lead on anything.” He tosses a few photos on to the tabletop, each depicting different crime scenes. You pick up one of them and take a closer look. This particular photo depicts what seems to be an abandoned warehouse that was broken into. Tire tracks were left on the concrete next to several dried patches of blood. A single stray bullet was left with a yellow marker next to it. The other pictures have very similar scenarios. “Random murders have been occurring across the city and the extended suburbs. Problem is, the bodies are rapidly decomposing before they can be found-”

“Meaning they can’t really be used for evidence,” you interrupt, still flicking through the various pictures and passing them off to the rest of the guys.

“Exactly.” Takeda pulls out a file and passes it to you specifically. “The autopsies are all different. Every one of the victims died from what seems to be different causes, but they’ve predicted that the accelerated decomposition was done through placing bodies in warm areas and then moving them to these locations.”

“I wouldn’t say so based on the blood stains at the crime scenes.” Kuroo leans over the armrest on his chair to peek at the autopsy report you hold in your hand.

“And that’s when you all come in. The police have practically no leads, no predictions and nowhere else to look.” Ukai stares at the group. Oikawa and Iwaizumi continue to look at the photos and use their files to mark locations. You and Kuroo continue looking over the medical papers and police reports. “I usually don’t say this-” Everyone turns their attention to the man with the orange coat. “-but the police only asked us for help because there is nothing they can do legally.”

Your eyes flicker up to meet his. With a small nod, you all understand the silent notion. “Right. Is there anything else we should know before heading over to the police headquarters?” You let Kuroo take the information out of your hands as you talk.

“Not from us. Once you get there they might have one or two pieces of evidence to show you, but we’ve filled you in on everything we have.” Takeda passes the last few pieces of paper further down the table. “From how persistent they were in asking for our help, I don’t think you should have any problems with cooperation, but don’t hesitate to call us if you need help.”

“Shouldn’t be a problem!” Oikawa salutes sarcastically, rubbing the charm on thick as the presidents leave the room.

You walk over to Iwaizumi and nudge Oikawa on the shoulder two times before looking at Kuroo, who is still engrossed in the paperwork. He quickly gets the memo and prances over to the man before striking up a conversation as a way of distraction. You place a photo in front of Hajime and gently tap at an area of the picture. He inspects it closer and once he realizes it, his eyes go wide and he turns to you.

You point at one of the other piles that has almost the exact same thing. Then to another, and another until you point out all of the same scenario to him. 

“Do you really think it’s him?” He mouths to you, trying to keep an eye on the other two in the room, making sure they’re thoroughly distracted. You nod and gather the pictures and whatever else you need to put in your own file.

“When do you all want to head over?” You speak loud and clear to get Kuroo and Oikawa’s attention.

“We should probably head over now and get whatever info we can before hitting up all the crime scenes.” Kuroo stands and stretches his back, soft pops filling the dead space between his words.

“Sounds like a plan. The next subway over there is gonna be in about 20 minutes.” Iwaizumi says with a nod and the rest of you make your way back into the main office to grab your things.

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Hi could I have Bones from Star Trek with the whole NSFW alphabet please? Thank you!

A/N: Sorry I’m getting to this late.  I got distracted by work.  Fully focused now! PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT ME TO KEEP DOING STUFF LIKE THIS!

A=Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

S o f t

For all his grump Doctor McCoy is a loving man. He’ll hold you close, run his hand through your hair, massage your sore muscles and whisper little nothings in your ear until you fall asleep.

B=Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner)

For himself, McCoy is very proud of his hands. He’s got the steady hand of a surgeon and knows exactly how to use them in you.

He’s an ass man. No, I will not be taking further questions.

C=Cum (Anything to do with cum basically; I’m a disgusting person)

He strikes me as the type that doesn’t want to make a mess and rather cum inside you (in a condom of course, he’s not an idiot). But there is something about a drop leaking down from the corner of you lip that does things.

D=Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory)

He likes it when you call him “Doctor” in bed.  He’s completely ashamed of it, and wouldn’t tell you for anything.  You figured it out of course, but you decide not to tell him to spare his pride.

E=Experience (How experienced are they?)

He’s got the advantage of age on his side (and an ex-wife), but in terms of grand total partners, not that many. He’s a relationship guy and wants to know you’re going to stick around for a while before doing the dirty.

F=Favorite Position

He likes you riding him, either facing him or reverse cowgirl. It gives him a great view either way while giving you control of your own pleasure.

G =Goofy (How are they in the moment?)

He switches back and forth. There are times he’s all business wanting just to get lost in you. But there are times he can’t help but make a joke or a dry comment about his “magic fingers”. It’s one of the few times he completely relaxes.

H=Hair (Are they well groomed, do the curtains match the drapes, etc.)

He keeps everything down there properly clean and groomed while not going out of his way to sculpt.

I=Intimacy (How are they in the moment, romantic aspect)

Like I said before, he can switch back and forth between intense and just having some fun.  But, he’s always focused on you and your pleasure. He wants to make you feel good, the only thing that changes is how.

J=Jack Off (Masturbation Headcanon)

When you’re together, he doesn’t feel the need to jack off.  You’re all that he needs and he’s not a teenager anymore.  But, if you’re away for months on an assignment he might stroke out a session if the days has been particularly frustrating with a glass of bourbon right after.

K=Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Lingerie.

If you walk into the bedroom with a sexy pair of matching bra and panties, he just about loses it.  He’s even made sure you kept them on just so he could admire how it looks on you as he fucks you.

L=Location (Favorite places to do the do)

In his quarters or yours.  Everyone on The Enterprise is too damn nosey for him to risk it anywhere else.  Besides, he wants to be the only one to see you naked and moaning.  Call him selfish, but it’s the truth.

M=Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Call him petty, but he can’t help but get hot and bothered if you really get into Spock or Jim’s face over something.  They both need to get shot down a peg and seeing your eyes blazing gets his own fire going.  Also, really any time you bend over to pick something up.  Those Starfleet uniforms leave nothing to the imagination.

N=No (Turn offs)

Anything to humiliate or hurt you.  He can maybe tie you to the bed if you really wanted to, but that’s about as far as he’ll go.  He never really got the whole spanking thing and he’s not going to degrade you with his words.  You’re too important for that.

O=Oral (Preferences in giving or receiving, skill)

He’s more than willing to give, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like receiving just a bit more.  Like I said, something about cum on your lip really get him going.

But, in terms of his skill with his own tongue, he ain’t half bad. It’s no real loss though, he’s better with his fingers. ;)

P=Pace (Do they go hard? Do they go slow?)

It alternates, if either of you have had a rough day and just needs to fuck out your frustrations than it’s rough and fast.  Other times, he likes to take his time, rolling his hips and enjoying the moment.  He averages more toward the slow end of things, though.

Q=Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex)

This is on the rare side.  Like I said, he really does not like the idea of getting caught, so popping into his office for a quick one really isn’t an option.  You guys had a close call in the lab once and that was enough to scare him off of waiting until you guys can take your time in your quarters.

R=Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He’s willing to try some stuff; light bondage, different positions, toys etc., but he’s not up for any of the intense stuff.  Like I said, the idea of putting you in pain, even for the sake of pleasure, doesn’t really appeal to him. And, I don’t think he’s up for much pain on his end either.

S=Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last, etc.)

He’s not as young as he once was, so he’s usually good after one round.  But, he’s going to try to make it last as long as possible, hence his more slow and steady approach on average.

T=Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them?)

He has his own fleshlight he’s kept around from his single days, but he doesn’t use it much.  He’s also not opposed to you bringing in your own toy, particularly a vibrator.  There have been a few nights he used it while fucking you that were pretty memorable.

U=Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)

He’s such as asshole when he’s in a good mood.  He’ll use his fingers to keep you on the edge, all while smirking and making some awful joke about being an expert at anatomy.  He’s lucky he’s cute.

V=Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

You know he’s getting close when his grunts and groans get louder and he starts babbling.  His words are always positive; calling you beautiful, praising the feel of your pussy, how good you make him feel, etc.  It never gets much over a low conversation, but it doesn’t need to.  This words are for you only.

W=Wild Card (Random headcanon)

He always has to have his hands on you.  No matter what position you’re in, he has to be grabbing you in some capacity.  It’s the number one reason he can’t be the one tied up.

X=X-Ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Pretty average length wise (6 in when erect), but he’s definitely a little thicker than most.  Nothing to write home about, but it doesn’t have to be.

Y=Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Like I’ve said, not as high as when he was younger.  He can control himself most of the time.  You’re more likely to initiate things than he is. 

Z=ZZZ (How quickly do they fall asleep afterwards?

Not right after.  He wants to make sure you’re comfortable and snuggled close before he allows himself to drift off to sleep.  But, once you assure him that you’re not moving anytime soon, he’s out like a light.

[slasherkisss]

Hi! I really love your writing and just stumbled over your Ruvik and Creeper Headcanons a while ago! Such underrated characters :') Would you write the NSFW alphabet for Ruvik?

[YESSS I love writing for Ruvik he’s one of my underrated boys lets go-]

NSFW ALPHABET: RUVIK

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Not very clingy or needy, but careful of is partner’s needs and health. He wants to make sure they’re okay and safe, and that he didn’t hurt them in a permanent or truly harmful manner. They need to be strong enough to handle round 2, after all. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Ruvik has no preference for his own body. He barely registers that he has a body a lot of times, it’s very disorienting for him to do so. He loves his partner’s lips though. Seeing them parted as they moan or tight around his cock makes him hard. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) On the topic with mouths: He loves cuming into his partner’s mouth. He loves seeing his seed splash on their face and watching them swallow is the hottest to him. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) Ruvik is secretly a huge fan of somnophilia. He would love to fuck his partner in their sleep. Would never bring it up to them, though, in case they found it invasive. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) Ruvik is honestly a little inexperienced. Like, he knows in theory what to do but in practice he’s more of a careful, methodical learner. He’s still figuring things out but what he learns he practices very fast and well. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Missionary or any position where he can see his partner’s face when they cum. He loves their facial expressions!

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) Ruvik is more serious than silly, but you can probably get one or two good laughs out of him if he lets his guard down juuust enough. He’ll do it and then the conversation would be: “why did you laugh?” “because no one will ever believe you :)” 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) Ruvik has a light dusting of platinum hair at his base and a bit on his balls, but for the most part it’s more scar tissue than hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) I think he could go either way. Usually it’s just quick, fast fucks but if he really wants to show his partner how much he appreciates their company he’s slow and romantic, usually holding their hand as he fucks them and kisses their neck. It’s his sign that he’s in the romantic mood. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) Ruvik feels weird jacking off. It goes with his dislike of his body as a whole and his unsure-ness of where he begins and ends. An orgasm on his own might warp reality into a different way he doesn’t want, so he tends to avoid masturbation if he can help it. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Biting, Blood, Somnophilia, Voyeurism, and Mutual Masturbation

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) He controls the world you fuck in, man, so he has no real preference as to exactly where you are. You can be wherever he wants the two of you to be. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) Likes it when his partner initiates sex by touching him and being bratty. Nothing gets his blood boiling like a good argument and usually he likes to - ahem - put their teasing mouth to better use ;)

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) Medical play/doctor and patient roleplay. He’s had enough of doctors he’d rather not pretend to be one. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) LOVES TO RECEIVE ORAL. Blow Jobs are his favorite way of getting off and he loves to see his partner’s face messy with his cum. He’s always down to return the favor, though, and is surprisingly good with his mouth. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) He can flip between them pretty quickly. His personal preference is a slow, teasing pace that he can savor every moment in and make an agonizing wait for his partner. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Okay with them, but doesn’t prefer them. He wants to ravish his partner for hours at a time and is never fully satisfied with the few little marks and orgasms he’s gotten out of them during quick rounds. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) Ruvik is iffy on experimenting tbh. He greets new things/things he doesn’t quite understand in his realm with heavy distrust so getting him into something different can take a LOT of work on his partner’s part. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) He can last as long as he wants to, honestly. He’s pretty good at pacing himself and always likes to make sure his partner orgasms more than him. He could go for an eternity if you asked him to. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) You wouldn’t think it but Ruvik likes toys a lot actually! He’s never kept any himself but if his partner expresses an interest in them he’ll offer them a wide variety for them to use. So long as he can watch while he uses one of his own. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Teases a pretty decent amount. He loves his partner to be a crying, moaning mess beneath him and fully submit to him before he gives them what they want. The result is an unfair amount of over stimulation.  

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) He makes only soft, breathing moans and grunts a lo t of times, and chants his partner’s name over and over again. He’s great at dirty talk in the bedroom, though, and usually prefers to keep his volume at whispers so he can enjoy his partner’s screams/moans. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) He has conjured up Sex Rooms before and loves to watch his partner's surprised face when they stumbled into one before offering to test it out with them. 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) Longer than average but relatively thin. The scarification of his skin crawls across his abdomen and around the base of his cock but doesn’t fully reach the tip. His veins are noticeable and purple/blue against the shaft and he’s circumsized. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Eh, it’s there but for the most part it isn’t high. He’s mostly ready to go whenever his partner is, sensing their need and acting on it is his specialty, but for the most part doesn’t actually care all that much. I personally headcanon him as asexual!

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He doesn’t fall asleep afterwards. He likes to hold his partner close to him and admire the way they sleep, brushing their cheek and petting their head as they rest in his arms. Usually will leave them to rest in a safe space while he gets up to go about doing things (but not before kissing their forehead)

[thatdamnokie]

so, as everybody knows, our man, the lovely mark strong, turned 57 this past august 5th

since the kingsman films have had a huge influence on several aspects of my day-to-day life (gee, wonder what group of people i could be referring to...), i decided to sit down and do something i’ve been thinking about since getting my medical card earlier this year: getting high as a kite and watching them back-to-back.

to celebrate mark’s birthday, i decided to do another running commentary post like the one i did for rocknrolla ages ago, under the cut. it’s a pretty similar style, which is to say not necessarily super coherent and might be hard to understand if you’ve never seen the movies. D:

there are some mentions of the roanoke society, but not many.

if even just one person finds this mildly entertaining for four seconds, then i’ll have done my job. there is a lot of cursing and this is NOT spoiler-free.

enjoy~

edited 9.1.20 to correct typos and such, please remember that i was Not Sober while i wrote this lmao

how many times have i watched these movies at this point? i don’t even know.  

i always liked the nifty like—retro arcade marv opening animation

and the thing with the tapes! we love book-ending devices!

kingsman: badass motherfuckers worldwide incorporated

like why was merlin even with them? i understand why lee and james would be there, but merlin, was he not acting quartermaster then?

i have SO MANY FEELINGS about lee unwin

i think it haunts harry and merlin more than anyone thinks, but these are fun spy movies so we just don’t talk about trauma and shit, don’tcha know

don’t look at how merlin tears up and tell me he doesn’t drink about it *HEAVILY* later

it’s such a stark contrast to see the 1990s interior vs. what it’s like when eggsy’s grown :(

michelle baby i’m so sorry. you deserved better than this.

and BABY EGGSY

omg. like this scene is both heartbreaking but is also adorable.

colin firth has gd anime legs, that dude had to straight up unfold himself as he stood up lmao

aaannnnd swooping logo, whooooo, goin’ over some mountains~

and mark hamill, ladies and gentlemen!

this whole thing with james deciding to kinda go rogue makes me wish that we knew more about his backstory as well. like, is this james being james, or was this a weird one-off situation and he was just unlucky?

YES unlucky. nobody could plan for the hurricane of sleek destruction that is gazelle

who has one of my favorite aesthetic designs as a villain (although i guess i’d put her more on maybe henchman level? but idk, it seems like valentine looked at her more as a partner, less like an assistant? and they had a very interesting chemistry together too, like i would’ve added more valentine x gazelle scenes)

i would LOVE to be this chill about just—draping blankies over bodies

blankies over bodies sounds like a cool band name

DIBS you guys can’t have it

i am SO GLAD samuel l. jackson gave valentine a lisp!

valentine, to me, does fit a lot of the usual spy movie villain tropes

but since this movie doesn’t take itself super serious, it’s more fun than annoying

and we never hear about any of the other knights?? like

half of this is just gonna be me whining for additional footage that there just wouldn’t have been room for realistically lmao

michael caine, you are lovely

MARK STRONG, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN

WITH LEGS THAT DON’T QUIT AND AN ACCENT THAT I’D DIE FOR

i’m an embarrassment

like let’s all stop and thank god that mark didn’t have time to learn the welsh accent

not that i would’ve been disappointed, because all accents are good accents on this blog

but at this point i can’t imagine merlin as—not scottish

“try picking a more suitable candidate this time”

arthur you DICK

like were you this cold-blooded when lee died, you fuckin’ reptilian-ass son of a bitch

no wonder you were charlie’s pledge person thing

and enter the fabulous taron egerton, stage left!

DEAN you are DISGUSTING

god, michelle, you need better friends, if you were my bro this entire relationship would’ve never happened

;-; and eggsy’s so sweet with his sister! i know there probably wasn’t “room” for it but i AM glad that there are scenes showing that family is one of eggsy’s kinda “core values”or whatever you want to call it

dude is a hufflepuff through and through imo

can you imagine eggsy as a villain? we would be so fucked. he’s sly, he’s smart, he could’ve made life v e r y difficult for lots of people if he really wanted to

but look at him with the squad!

eggsy’s just like the british version of a good ol’ boy

this car scene is some dukes of hazzard bullshit (ramp-jumping and fun car horn aside)

if butterflies are harry’s main symbolic critter, would foxes be eggsy’s? or would it be a pug instead? i guess that’s like asking if harry would be either a butterfly or a cairn terrier, like mr. pickle. let’s say both.

this fandom is pretty on top of character associations like that

you get symbolic associations! YOU get symbolic associations! EVERYONE gets symbolic associations whether they’re actually in the canon or not! don’t have any? don’t worry, we’ll assign you at least one!

the guy playing the interviewing officer is ALSO the patriarch in the witch which i didn’t realize until—like, a while after

and it was while @circlesofbone​ was visiting, and we were just “oh, okay, guess we can’t escape this cast at all, this is fine”

“your father saved my life.”

harry you’re such a fucking peacock, waiting all posted up and posing so you’ll look cool

you big doofus

i’d kill to be inside his head during this first conversation with eggsy though

like is eggsy like lee? is harry seeing lee the entire time he’s talking to his son, in his mannerisms, how he carries himself, how he speaks?

or is eggsy the opposite? which—i don’t know if that would somehow be sadder?

there’s just a lot going on in the background of this bit that’s left up to interpretation

“although i’m sure it’s well-founded—“

harry’s just so casual about this entire thing, nobody’s that casual without practice

harry you rabble-rouser, what kind of life have you led

“manners. maketh. man.”

our timeless motto, my flowers

kingsman STILL to this DAY has some of the most well-choreographed fight scenes i’ve ever seen??

like yeah the church scene but even just this initial bar fight

harry could’ve been a dancer

in a way i guess he already is

like he moves so fluidly and gracefully, it is BONKERS

colin you did so good! i’m so proud!

the way eggsy’s just O.O

whether or not you ship hartwin, like, you gotta admit, that was hot

and his BODY LANGUAGE, he’s sitting like RAMROD straight, this poor dude lmao

nobody prepares you for a situation like that in public school is all i’m saying

harry, exiting stage left like a suave, smooth motherfucker

remember when iggy azalea was relevant

ugghhhh i hate this part

“I WASN’T WITH NO ONE”

can you imagine being harry hart listening to your dead friend’s son getting the shit beat out of him

like, surely he heard the cleaver, he knows dean was going to fucking gut eggsy right?

listen to how cold and icy his voice gets, oof

yeah, he’s pissed, and dean is lucky

PARKOUR

ugh, i want to go to london ;-; i want to walk in front of the shop and visit harry’s house and kiss cute english boys

i’d like to think harry’s super excited to show eggsy everything but he’s gotta keep it dialed back because “decorum”

the way eggsy pauses though

“come on.”

and he says it so softly.

if i was eggsy, i’d be nervous, too.

but i didn’t realize how quickly harry tries to give off signals like “hey there’s no reason to be scared.”

“like my fair lady?” “well, you’re full of surprises.” <3 one of my favorite sceneeesss.

harry’s voice is so soothing but eggsy is so freaked out by the elevator that he’s just—there’s no room for anything else beyond processing the elevator lmao

“how deep does this fucking thing go?” asking the real questions

aannnddd KINGSMAN BULLET TRAIN

i’d like to think they have like soft jazz or something playing in there

and then they get to the hangar and there are obviously a buuuuunch of people out on the tarmac that we just—never hear about? i just assume they’re all like technical officers or maybe other agents

“your father had the same look on his face. … as did i.”

harry is already rooting for him.

“late again, sir.”

that. brogue.

fuck, i could listen to him talk for hours, scottish accents are my favorite thing

#squadgoals

not a very diverse cast :/

the body bag speeeeech

and of course nobody was in any actual danger, but merlin doesn’t want them to know that so he becomes mr. hard as steel, i am emotionally stoic at all times, do not test me you bunch of rugrats

“classic army technique.”

ROXY

ROXY I WANT TO JUST HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS TT.TT

aannnnddd charlie, also

who we might’ve found sympathy for if we knew aaannyytthiinnggg else about his backstory

like, could he just be Like That, yeah

but most people i know who are assholes like that are that way because their parents were first /shrug/

can hardly fault the dude for turning out like that when poison was all he was given to drink

anyone else a hundred percent positive they would’ve drowned in the first trial

i would absolutely have panicked and bit it

but then again, i’m not kingsman material, i’m roanoke

and if this is the exact same test that merlin and harry went through, does that mean there might be some weird drowning trauma hidden back in there that’s just ANOTHER thing we’re not gonna talk about?

(yes the correct answer is yes)

god that’s such an american response to the problem though

glass can’t cause problems if it’s in a million pieces!

“yeah you can wipe those smirks off your faces…”

i wonder if there was ever a situation where a trainee actually drowned

and i don’t mean like amelia, i mean some poor kid who just failed the test

merlin knows how to put the fear of god in people though!

and mark strong, very handsome, yes, very scary, also yes

he and colin both look like they’re 80 percent leg in every single scene

harry literally had brain matter smatter ALL OVER HIS FACE and still somehow had the mental facilities to be aware of those dudes, leave a bomb and dive out of a window (and then escape said dudes)

billy badass, y’all

“just get it done.” okay, i took back what i said earlier, maybe he does see her as more of an assistant, less than a partner. their relationship is weird.

the puppy scene!

“it’s a bulldog innit?”

YASSSS the golden trio

because of what happened with our other canon charlie has become a weird character for me to watch, like, yeah, i “watch” charlie be himself in tss but the charlie i “see” is like—”our” charlie.

“bollocks!” and then he just runs with jb in his vest, makes me smile

aannddd we see valentine’s super cool factory

harry your hair gets so long <3

“water!” wow, who wants to bet that the fact he was instantly screaming means that maybe he’s gonna have some stuff to talk about in therapy later

roxy baby i’m sorry they made you hold the balloon and have to trust these dumbasses to not shoot you on accident

i would trust roxy to not shoot me

i love, love love valentine’s house

it’s gorgeous

set design is always such a cool way for filmmakers to include details about a character using pure aesthetics and i’m such a slut for it

tilde!

see also: one of the characters done the WORST by these movies imo!

the fact that she not only says no, she says no with enthusiasm and gets blatantly pissed, is one of the best insights we get into tilde’s character and then it just—gets wasted

like it takes three steps and then gets mowed down in the hallway like her guards

i would never be given the opportunity to be asked if i wanted an implant but i draw the line at having stuff put into my neck

awwww harry’s so proud!

that finger point “yeah, see, be more like your uncle”

merlin is SO TALL

“a bit much innit?”

he’s just—tapping a normal clipboard

… nobody wanna talk about how that’s a normal clipboard

anyway

i also love how they show him in professor sweaters for the beginning acts of the movie

definitely a softer aesthetic than one would guess for a dude who apparently did field missions sometime within the past decade or so, but i also have a theory that lee’s death directly contributed to merlin maybe being the man behind the screen as opposed to afield

because trauma is a thing but this is a FUN movie so we’re NOT gonna talk about it

“you’re gonna be all right. you’re top of the class!” this was the scene that made my mom a reggsy shipper

regardless of how you feel about them as a couple, their friendship is one of the best things about this movie, along with their dynamic with charlie, asjdnaskdjna WHY could we not have had a trio movie instead

eggsy you show-off “lemme just throw my arms up and dip outta this plane like it’s not a big deal”

roxy you can do it!

ugh, there goes my baby, off to have a near-death experience under merlin’s immediate supervision lmao

“good girl, rox, glad you made it!”

guys, they’re just kids.

i love this big group scene because it reminds us that these are just young folks, still

“my, my, you’re all very cheerful...”

“rufus, come on!” dude eggsy—and not even just eggsy, charlie and rox too--at least made an attempt at teamwork. you get points for that bro

but man, for all they know, they’re about to beef it in a very permanent way, i’d be freaking out too

merlin getting caught up in the drama

because again, he’s supposed to know that eggsy has a parachute

i think he wasn’t prepared for these two to get that close to not making it and that’s why we see him break face and drop his mug

*WHAM*

i HATE the sound of them landing

it’s not like you can hear bones breaking but it hurts me, guys

and then there were three

plus one daddy long legs quartermaster

“if you have a complaint you come here and you whisper it in my ear.”

yes SIR

“you need to take that chip off your shoulder.”

merlin coming’ in with the tough love portion of the kingsman core squad

there’s no reason for me to think harry’s persona was inspired by cruella de ville somehow but i do anyway

she reveals the mcdonald’s and valentine is just :D

idk if he was expecting a specific reaction or was just excited to see a reaction period

valentine is definitely a fun villain, which, given the tone of the movie, makes sense, it’s all supposed to be fun

one of the reasons i love kingsman is that it’s like, this golden ray of goofy cinematic fuckery in a world of grim!dark remakes and other superhero/spy films who are presented as more serious stories

“and thank you for such a—happy, meal.”

harry got a puppy smile

but see, then, here at his house he’s a lot more relaxed with gazelle! like, patting her butt, etc.

maybe what we see of their relationship is dependent on setting, because valentine himself has it compartmentalized?

perrrrrrhaps

“and i am never, EVER GOING TO AGREE!”

tilde, you deserved better, and i think all the weird hate you get from our ohana is unfair

you don’t twist a runner’s ankle before the race starts and then get mad when they don’t win

your story was mishandled from the beginning

asmr: hanging out with the golden trio watching worrying news in the kingsman trainee bunker room

the way he says “biblical sense” lmao

i have never been able to figure out if the way he says that line is supposed to infer spiritual respect, or lack of it, but i might be looking too into it

“it’s an acquired taste, mate.”

what—what would you even do if you were at a club and three people as hot as taron, ed and sophie all came up and start talking to you at the same time

like i know the target got up and left pretty quick because of the training exercise

but i’d be doing it because i’m ugly and if three hot people are all talking me up at a bar something is Bad and Wrong

which—the CAHONES on both eggsy and roxy

they both literally said “yeah i’m willing to die for this organization that hasn’t even given me a permanent place yet, what of it”

look at harry’s dimples in this scene, he is fighting a huge grin, he’s SO PROUD

i know that charlie’s response is supposed to be just more fodder into the “charlie hesketh is a tool” fire

but given that i’m not unconvinced that his home life wasn’t super shitty, like—

idk, this makes this scene a lot less fun to me. it makes it sad.

like, maybe charlie didn’t even want to be there deep down, maybe this was all for like, arthur, or his dad, or some other person he looked up to

and the way merlin looks when he tells charlie to go home, the way that he’s kinda grimacing? i’m wondering if he’s along the same kind of feeling. he’d know more about charlie’s history

have i also mentioned how much i love harry’s war room?

“YES harry!”

an evil plan is being born!

“true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

eggsy is still in his club clothes, so like—has he slept? y’all let those kids sleep after fucking drugging them, right? … guys?

“—when one is popping ones cherry.”

and eggsy is just CHEESING he is SO EXCITED

am i the only one who wants to learn more about the store clerk guy though?

he’s like the one person around who’s legit just there to run the shop

has no idea about any of the spy stuff happening

his name is donald, he’s married with three children and has two spaniels he loves

“THAT is sick.”

i would KILL for this room.

i don’t need anything in here for any reason but still

foreshadowing, foreshadowing, foreshadowing, more foreshadowing—

harry is such a NERD

“put it back, eggsy.”

the amount of self-control it would take to not have a sudden change in expression in that moment, omg

i wonder how THAT gets trained up in kingsman

“i guarantee it.” ha, get it, it’s a reference to that one commercial

“y’all—talk so funny.”

and this all means that they had a contact at that hat shop and got all that info to them before valentine got there, and somehow made sure he did end up buying a hat that they could also successfully put a bug on, how deep does this goooooo

“jack bauer?”

it says a lot about eggsy that out of all the jb’s it could’ve been, it was jack

uggghhhhhh of course they HAD to do this scene with eggsy with arthur

obviously harry couldn’t do it

i just think most of us would NOT be fans of arthur at this point in the movie, we’re all rooting for eggsy, like, he needs this moment with this other character because we gotta drive home that he’s an asshole

also—would have absolutely failed that test

and i’m not sorry at all

“welcome to kingsman--lancelot.”

i was really happy that it was a female agent who ended up getting the handle

aannddd more echoes of past scenes, man, nobody can say that this crew wasn’t intentional with their cinematography

when eggsy rolls the window down you can see his chest moving up and down, like, he is MAD

dean you asshole

so no wonder he gets so pissed that the car suddenly decides “nope, no, we’re not doing this, c’mon”

this entire conversation at harry’s house is—tense

and you don’t pick up on it the first time, i don’t think, but uh

i’m seeing it now

harry’s not just mad, he’s hurt, and eggsy’s furious but he’s also maybe regretting his actions.

it’s these two men who are rapidly trying to figure out their headspaces and trying to figure out how to navigate this situation with each other

and the way eggsy tries to apologize ;-;

kentucky is a beautiful state, actually

ohhhhhh y’alllll

we’re at the churrrccchhhh

we’re gettin’ closer to the coolest part of the movieeeee

it’s telling that gazelle was trying to make sure that they’d be safe

“… so hail satan, and have a lovely afternoon madame.”

the most metal lines colin firth has ever uttered on camera

the siren noise after it’s switched on bothers me in a way i can’t quite articulate

it might be because i have silent hill-colored trauma, who knows

FREEEEEE

BIIIRRRDDDDDDD

THE GREATEST ACTION TRACKING SHOT IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA

but then eggsy and merlin are reacting aaaanndddd it’s—a lot less fun

because you realize that they’re watching their bro mercilessly slaughter innocent people and not stopping

and still not stopping

and still not stopping

but plot twist, i’m really glad they kept the track going, because if they’d suddenly picked *this* part of the scene to get serious, that would’ve brought the mood down so low that i don’t think there would’ve been any bouncing back

i just

how do people exist who aren’t attracted to harry hart

that man is a machine

and colin worked so hard to be able to do the scene himself, and that work SHOWS, that man cuts a FIGURE

i don’t know how they managed to somber it up just the right amount, either? maybe because they waited for the “fun action sequence” to be over so there wouldn’t need to be noise that had to be masked by a fun rock track?

“… what did you do to me.”

i cannot imagine what harry was feeling in that moment.

the way he spoke it was like he didn’t even have time to be afraid to die

“that tends to happen when you shoot somebody in the head. feels good, right?”

“no, it does not feel good!”

i love that exchange because we normally hear the opposite.

also—whiplash.

mark has this way of expressing grief without showing any—blatant signs.

like merlin’s not especially tearful, or crying, but his eyes look MASSIVE. and SAD. and he has just the tiiiiiniest tremor in his voice.

and eggsy, dude, like, we’ve all had it come on us really quick and suddenly it’s like your chest is pumping like a piston and when did it get so hard to breathe?

ARTHUR you REPULSE me

like look at how egssy’s shoulders sag when he realizes that arthur isn’t on his team

and in a way, this is eggsy’s final test as a kingsman trainee, imo

do you realize how quickly he had to assess what was happening and figure out what to do, all without arthur noticing?

“you are all alone. it is all up to you. remember all you have learned. good luck.”

it’s a very—almost horror-esque situation from that pov

and he passed with flying colors to go on his first true mission, because after he puts on the suit, that’s his visual cue of graduating, if that makes sense

that’s the knight putting on his armor.

“i’d rather be with harry. thanks.”

“so be it.”

*click*

me: *laughing at arthur’s big dumb stupid head*

… man i’d love a replica of that decanter and glasses set though

not to mention that eggsy recognized the flaws in arthur’s character and weaponized them, which is a whole other level of shit that isn’t necessarily easy; he knew that arthur carried the kind of pride that would leave him open

god, he looks so exhausted though when rox has him at gunpoint.

i think he was being pretty serious, about harry

sick helipaaaaaaad

that thing looks vaguely like a rock-‘em sock-‘em robot but in pieces though

more grandpa sweaters <3

man. you can see roxy swallow, you know she’s scared, but then she just sets her jaw and—

roxy baby you are the best i love you

i like the vintage vibe of the mountain lair

i think that’s another visual poke at the aesthetic themes of some of the older, og spy flicks out there

merlin looks SO LANKY walking back to the plane for some reason??

he stays until the last second for roxy. that’s love right there.

“a bespoke suit always fits.”

which can be good spiritual life advice too but that’s a separate conversation

“what the fuck is WRONG with you people?”

and his fuckin’ disco ball

uuggggghhhhh his speech reminds me of so many… “public figures” that i dislike

even though it’s obviously a bad thing that the chips are everywhere, i appreciate that phones and such are being shown in a positive manner (like, michelle talking to someone in the park, people at a ball game taking selfies, people at the beach, etc.) because i get so sick of that anti-tech boomer humor tbh

and the big reveal of eggsy in his suitttt

A KNIGHT IS BORN

“how’s the view?”

“hideous.”

you’re allowed to be crabby baby, you just let it out.

“lookin’ good, eggsy.”

“feelin’ good, merlin.”

merlin is so calm heading into the fortress and i don’t know if it’s because he’s very, very good at compartmentalizing and that’s genuinely how he is at the moment or if he’s that way through extreme self-control and effort

he can rock a pilot’s uniform though

just like eggsy can rock a suit

they’re both so handsome, help

i also wonder how eggsy’s feeling right then

like, i’d imagine that the pressure of having to perform a role to literally save the world would be enough to distract him from the bite of grief

that’s—probably enough to distract everyone, tbh

i a hundred percent believe there are breakdowns we don’t see

i wonder if eggsy told tilde he’d spoken to lindstrum(sp?) after everything was said and done

like, that’d be some kind of weird foreshadowing in hindsight

this scene is anxiety-inducing in a big way so to distract myself i imagine roxy as a mech pilot

dude i’d totally watch sophie in a role like that, like, let her be in a movie like pacific rim, she’d kick ass

and now we have The Chaos

otherwise known as that point when Everything Is Happening All At Once All The Time

also a thing that doesn’t exist in spy movies: hearing damage

because like his voice is right in eggsy’s ear and without it he’d have a LOT harder time surviving

imagine being an agent, merlin trying to talk to you, but something either hits your ear or goes off right next to it and suddenly it’s just silent

SYSTEM FAILURE

YAAASSSSS

WE WIN

GGOOOAAAAALLLLLL

THE AUDIENCE IS DOING THE WAVE

except JUST KIDDING

The Chaos 2 Electric Boogaloo!

merlin with a huge gun: hot, also, very scary

eggsy is just 10000% done

“this is mine. i’ll show you yours.”

i wonder who e man was supposed to be that valentine called.

like is that a reference to a real person that i just did’t catch?

… elon musk? maybe? idk

eggsy slides like a gd anime character

when he uses the rainmaker, it’s just like harry’s protecting him from somewhere else

(oh—wait, technically kentucky, i guess)

“merlin, i’m fucked.” you can hear the anger there. not only did he fail, but he—and everyone else—is about to die

but this? this is the pinnacle of eggsy showing himself as a kingman agent

he was staring death straight in the mouth and STILL

SOMEHOW

REMEMBERED THE IMPLANTS

so i guess if i say that the moment when he puts on the suit is when he becomes a true agent, then maybe this is the moment when he becomes galahad.

*bobs head to pomp & circumstance*

i remember getting a huge kick out of how colorful they made this

because in real life you know a bunch of people literally blowing up would be like—DISGUSTING

viscera everywhere

no fun rainbow mushroom clouds

“i’ve always wanted to kiss a princess.”

ANOTHER knight reference, very clever matthew

mmmmm Do Not Like that noise

aaaannndddd *that* line

which—maybe that’s mr. vaughn’s sense of humor, or what he thinks the sense of humor his core demographic has, idk

but it always kinda rubbed me the wrong way

the mass brawl scenes are edited so like--jarringly compared to the other fight scenes in the movie

that’s probably for a reason

also, a showdown to the tune of something disco: kind of another trope homage

this shot of gazelle is so sick, i love everything about it, she is so cool

this entire fight with eggsy is awesome tbh

we got a little bit of what gazelle can look like in combat earlier with tilde’s guards, but now we get this epic showdown seeing her at her full potential against someone who’s actually a challenge

and the way valentine is shouting for her to kick his ass from upstairs and yelling encouragement lmao that’s how real friends act when there’s a fight

daisy ;-; ugh, that’s the visual gutpunch that makes it juuuuuust serious enough by reminding us of the stakes

which is why it’s fitting that then we see the Slo-Mo K.O.

and that smile with the fun little chimes in the back, lmao

and eggsy, quick on his feet again byyyy being quick on gazelle’s feet—foot—whatever

man, impalement deaths are always fun.

coulda done without the vomiting but that’s also one of valentine’s quirks that makes him different from a cookie cutter villain

aaannddd have a heavy sigh from merlin

that dude needs a full-body massage and a drink

“is this where you say some really bad pun?”

reminder: i love that this movie is self-aware! i could not picture a super serious kingsman movie! i just picture something depressing!

there had to have been a better option besides—this, for this eggsy/tilde ending scene

i’m not saying i’m mad it ended with them fucking, i’m mad that the extent of the joke was anal and that was it.

also the idea of my boss possibly seeing me having sex would have me a little more concerned about the hardware on my face, but okay??

aannddd the tapes.

gah, we love visual throwbacks!

we love being able to see that despite all this growth and change, family remains very important to eggsy—he hasn’t changed into a different person, he has grown more into himself than ever before! THIS! THIS is eggsy unwin!

… GET READY FOR IT

time for tgc! (and to get into my roanoke feels, maybe, this is the nexus where our canons connect)

the BAGPIPES

okay

i did not stop to consider how unpleasant this was going to be to watch stoned but we’re gonna power through it and get through it together

if i cry i cry

the way the music swells into the main theme <3

and the perfect reveal for our boy eggsy!

reflected in gold, looking sharper than broken glass

and SUDDENLY CHARLIE

the pacing in tgc leads me to believe that matthew had huge plans for this movie, and a lot of cool stuff probably ended up on the cutting room floor for time

i also love that they brought charlie back

i love his voice box and his cool robot arm

and i’m not just saying that because it made it super easy to blend him into our canon, either, this is like—charlie’s evil twin in terms of his new aesthetic, the contrast is really cool

YYAASSSS THIS SCENE

WITH PRINCE PLAYING??

*CHEF’S KISS*

like we are IMMEDIATELY thrown back into the gold parts of it all, like how physics is a little broken so we can do cool shit like have a knockdown drag-out fight all within the space of a small cab

i wonder what would’ve hurt charlie worse—being thrown onto his organic side, or having all his weight land on his metal arm if it hadn’t disattached

but then he’s up and standing so i guess we’re fine?

MERLIN! <3

otherwise known as the character entrance that literally changed my life

i try not to think about it too much or i get weirded out

ANYWAY

(and to think i almost never even saw the movie)

Sick Car Chase, Bro

and as an american, like, everything’s on the opposite side to me, it’s stressful to watch a little bit

“i seem to remember in your training you were rather good at holding your breath.”

man, that’s uh—kind of a macabre thing to say, merlin

just a little bit

i’m not even gonna attempt to hold my breath to see if i’d survive this scene just assume i’m dead in that universe

we all live in a kingsman subarmine, a kingsman submarine, a kingsman submarine~~

“not boasting, but i trained him well enough that even he wouldn't mess that up.”

merlin are you okay??

gah, i love that chest-deep laugh though.

is it real love if they won’t crawl through the sewer to get to your house in time

i love that harry’s house looks basically the same

i know they talk about eggsy not wanting to change anything in the novelization but i haven’t read it yet so I’m not a hundred percent sure what all is in there

and we still get to see him hanging with his friends, and his girlfriend, like, this dude is still all about the family

“wwwwOOOOO!”

i love this group so much omg

for as much as he’s galahad, he’s still eggsy

the transition in the weed bag looks super cool

… oh, i guess watching this while high makes the main storyline hit a bit different

welp

i love that poppy is an aesthetic slut and really doesn’t give a shit about anyone’s opinion about how she makes her space

like, “i want a big 50s-style diner with a gourmet kitchen that i can cook people in, soooooo i’m getting one”

it’s also refreshing to see julianne moore in a bad guy role!

not that i’m super familiar with her filmography but i feel like i’ve mostly seen her cast as like a good guy?

i could be wrong

awwwww jet and bennie!

there’s so much to love about this set

cannibalism and the fact that she bulldozed jungle to build all this aside (suspend that belief!)

the breakfast sceeeeeene

it’s so bittersweet, for obvious reasons

and it’s more evidence that he’s not super ready to move on into new territory yet, like making new memories with tilde that ring close to home

“i wish i could have met him.”

and the way he has to turn away, ugh.

eggsy. i’m sorry.

tilde, i’m sorry, too. you had good intentions, but they lost against his pain.

michael gambdon! the new arthur we didn’t know we wanted until we got him.

charlie had a moral glo-down, it’s fine, happens to everybody

FFFFFF his imitation of merlin lmfao

man, poor charlie, like

you wake up, you can’t make a sound, your arm has been blown off and your family’s dead

like his reaction to that entire scenario isn’t entirely unrealistic, i’m just saying

also LOOK AT ROX

omg everyone in this movie can wear the FUCK out of suit, y’all

man, i’ve gotten a few tattoos that were exquisitely painful—i can’t imagine how much it would suck to do it with literal molten metal

dude this means clara laid on her stomach and probably screamed at the floor as she got hers D:

this kinda—riffs off of hannibal, a teeny-tiny bit

like we’re so overloaded with the aesthetics and behavior of a certain character so it’s like, we forget about the much darker parts untillllll there’s a mood change and we’re looking at that dude’s legs, to the burger this other dude puts in his mouth, and thinking “oh, oh dear, ew”

i love eggsy in the orange jacket <3 snaps for the wardrobe crew across this series.

tilde’s face, omg, she was heart-eyeing so bad. and like, that little proud nod at her dad (who was of course being Like That on purpose)

and roxy, coming in in the clutch, you are tonight’s MVP

uggghhhhh i hate this part

because again, it’s just--a bunch of bad shit colliding outside of anyone’s control

(it was also really jarring seeing the war room with blank walls the first time i watched this)

like—granted, you should maybe not touch stuff that’s not yours, but…

like we *just* saw eggsy and brandon in a very casual, intimate scene with each other, how can anyone get angry with brandon?

this is all stress-inducing

i remember being in the theater watching this and feeling like i was watching some awful slow motion car wreck and i couldn’t look away

idk what other story i would’ve wanted to see but i was NOT a fan of Sudden Death For Christmas, especially concerning roxy!

and poppy is such a *bright* villain, not just because of taste but because of her personality, which is another weird thing to have next to the cannibalism

gaaahhhh charlieeee your arm is so cooooool

this shot is gorgeous and incredibly depressing.

what do you do?

gah, and the way merlin comes out of the dark, like

i probably would’ve drawn a gun on him too

“you think *i* would?”

this scene shows 1. how much he trusts eggsy to not shoot him, and/or 2. how good merlin is at compartmentalizing, because this is an even bigger blow than harry’s death, and he’s following the protocol like it’s an art form

i hope that we see some reference to this safe in the next movie, that’d be a cool way to tie the narratives all together

“i suppose that must be upper class humor. … i don’t get it.”

reminder, merlin is working class.

if you’re a ho for this fandom and went and bought this whiskey specifically because of this movie clap your hands *clap clap*

and they proceed to just get HAMMERED

“country rooaaddsss… take me hoooooome…”

another reminder: kentucky is a beautiful state!

i would love to tour a whiskey distillery, that’d be super cool

“shame it’s not scotch”

again, with his weird night vale clipboard.

who would win: two highly-trained kingsman agents vs. one (1) cowboy

channing tatum, ladies and gentlemen!

“y’all look damn sharp!”

i am forever gonna be mad we didn’t get more of tequila in this movie, and not just because of roanoke either, but like, “that dog don’t hunt,” whatever he has in his mouth sealed a leak in a barrel, and it took him all of two minutes to incapacitate both eggsy AND merlin? hello??

i’m glad we’ll get to see more of him in the another movie.

“you know why the measurement of alcohol is called proof?”

just dumping it on their laps, so disrespectful

“—and you can go fuck yourself.”

eggsy fucking just giggling.

these two doofuses

also it’s hot to see merlin be sassy ngl

“HARRY!”

these guys have been fast thinkers in stressful situations but as it turns out, people being unexpectedly not dead can kinda fuck with your day

aaannddd halle berry, everybody! i love ginger ale omg

(and so does merlin, he is instantly enchanted)

;-; this reunion scene

i don’t know how colin manages to be two completely different people at once

like there’s a huge difference between former agent galahad and harry hart the lepidopterist and i can’t explain it

i really, really hope we see at least one little hint at kinsman’s relationship with statesman in the new movie, i just think it’d be really cool

in roanoke canon, there’s an office rumor that the nanobot tech used by statesman was influenced directly by the same technology developed by dr. wernicke in the outlast games. i still think it’s one of my better crossover ideas.

also

god bless whoever decided to get elton john involved with all this?? because i was DELIGHTED

i love poppy’s wardrobe as much as i love her weird 50s-land in the jungle

i also really love the main statesman theme? it reminds me of all those fun epic westerns

jeff bridges! :D

champ vaguely reminds me of my dad

“can you imagine us in the tailor business?”

and he’s super quick with the questions. my headcanons for champ are all over the place but one that i really like is that he was maybe a sheriff or in law enforcement before being recruited by statesman.

aaanndddd pedro pascal, everybody!

otherwise known as *another* character that this movie did dirty, that’ll probably come up in this later

imagine being harry hart, not remember all of yourself, and suddenly your entire room just—fills with water

that had to have been so terrifying, and it was just as hard for merlin to watch (and possibly remember something unpleasant)

and like

that sounds like SUCH bullshit, too, like “yeah we thought if you came close to drowning it would help”

which, is that what merlin meant, no, but is that what harry heard, probably

enter jb the second ;-; <3 sweet baby

tilde’s trying so hard. i see you!

aha, penis jokes.

and all of the unnecessary weird festival stuff, uuggghh

there are so many different things they could have done, like, all of this is just weird from the get-go

first of all, whiskey striking out? hello?? saying no to a man like mr. pascal???

not realistic

the way whiskey takes a shot as he walks away lmao, relatable

and poor clara, like, it’s not like she was asking for any of this D:

hmmmmmmm don’t know how i feel being a stoner watching other stoners get this blue rash thing when i know it kills some of themmmmmmm

i love charlie in his newsboys cap!

poppy has a little bit of a point. like, booze is way more dangerous than pot, as is tobacco. like i would never advocate anyone try meth or heroin, but i think weed and some hallucinogenics get bad wraps.

seeing a dude get torn in half in the reflection of elton john’s sunglasses is the surprising bit of gore we need to remember that oh, yeah, the villain isn’t fun, she’s a murderer

uuggghhhh the TENT SCENE

and, look, i’ll defend tilde forever, but i did NOT like the weird marriage ultimatum. i still think it’s a dick move, like, in that situation either decide to trust your boyfriend or break up with him

the tent interior is super cool-looking

and like, man, he tried, he tried to bounce D:

/sigh/ work hazards, i guess

mmmmmm we don’t need any of what’s happening on screen right now so i’ll just sit patiently and wait for it to be over

and like, there’s nothing funny about merlin and ginger being able to hear everything that’s going on, it’s so grosssss, poor ginger has to have heard some shit before to be so nonchalant about it

everything about this sucks

and then he tries going to the one person who he needs the most and having to deal with him still existing in some state between alive and dead

his body is here

but harry is not

“maggots turn into flies, perhaps you mean larvae!” :D he is SO CUTE

but this entire conversation, with harry still not remembering and eggsy trying so hard to reach him through the fog, is so depressing

like, i’d need a drink too

*and* a joint

i’m seeing my coping mechanisms on screen here folks

the way he comes up with the idea is kinda ingenious though

like, he’s looking at stuff to make himself bummed on purpose, but therein he finds the thing he needs to fix the issue

harry’s smile when eggsy hands him the puppy TT.TT

and then eggsy just becomes a stone cold motherfucker with no emotions

“no one’s sick enough to shoot a puppy!”

hi, flashback!harry

and as SOON as he remembers himself, it’s like his eyes are different, something about him looks like it did before kentucky

“… eggsy.”

one of my favorite movie hugs

and eggsy has to stand on his tiptoes because harry’s so tall

like yeah merlin and harry’s reunion isn’t as overtly emotional, but there’s definitely a sense of joy and relief there.

harry my baby ;-; much better with the sunglasses (and merlin was so close to telling him he looked spectacular)

“now is that any way to welcome a visit from outta town, moonshine?”

he! tried! to! defend! harry!

i hate that jack got a villain story line!

we could’ve had something so much better and infinitely more compelling!

“hurrrr durrrr morgan you just like redemption arcs because you don’t want anybody being a villain permanently” i also like them because sometimes that’s better writing, y’all sit down

“that is NOT what i call a kentucky welcome.”

i love so many things happening in this scene, like

we get to see whiskey kick ass, like yassss gimme those sweet action sequences and give us some character development by showcasing his fighting style

and also NOBODY shits on harry for not being able to handle the situation. both eggsy and merlin were like “dude we’re still celebrating the fact that you’re alive tbh it’s fine if you’re not back up to speed right this second”

you can really tell that this was penned by british people writing american slang because having grown up in the southern half of the u.s. i have never ONCE heard ANYONE say shit like “i feel like a tornado in a trailer park” lmao

and poppy’s fun little death threat infomercial, so great

“what have you done to me you FUCKING BITCH” oof, that’s a mood

!!!!! gonna be honest i kinda forgot that bruce greenwood plays the president

okay but save lives, legalize isn’t an entirely bad idea tbh

hnnnnnnng the scenes about people not being able to get into the hospital hits different in the year of our lord 2020 huh

… y’all i’m being weirded out by all this hospital scenes, this is unpleasant

i, too, wish i could pull a tequila and just be slipped into a chilly coma until shit wasn’t so fucked up

“the fact is, this presidency has won the war on drugs!”

THIS SCENE!

look, y’all can come into my inbox and call me a pothead, or a lazy stoner, or some third insult, but this dude’s VP is bringing up some very, VERY important points when it comes to any kind of discussion about drug use in the u.s.

am i drug-friendly, sure, but i’m more friendly to the notion that we stop demonizing addicts/users

harry looks fucking SCANDALIZED when he sees champ spit into his spittoon thing

i don’t think whiskey even brought up harry not being ready to return to the field in an insulting manner, he literally just saw him get his ass beat in a bar, but eggsy’s faith and loyalty are up there in the category of unstoppable force/immovable object, so here we are

am i the only one curious about the whole charlie x clara thing? because he’s definitely grown up a bit by tgc, and i wanna know how much of that might be because of clara

and he MISSES, e for effort harry

“so sorry about this—“ WHAM

and now that guy can say colin firth busted his face with a fire extinguisher, which is very cool

“*you’re* wu ting feng?” “… yes?”

“you motherFUCKER” ohhhhhh charlie maaaaaad

ginger and merlin though, #couplegoals

the only person more pissed off about the hallucinations than everyone else is harry

imagine remembering that you’re one of the top people in your field and you just keep seeing imaginary butterflies everywhere

like, yeah, i’d be pissed at not being able to do what i knew i was capable of, too

if it wasn’t careening towards a random retirement center, getting stuck in a wildly rotating gondola thing could be fun

nice tuesday afternoon activity

i would loved to have seen more galahad/whiskey field stuff

“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me—“

meanwhile, in the continuing adventures of eggsy and jack: shit goes from bad to worse like a formal spiral only going downward

their expressions as their both just SCREAMING always make me laugh

”that’s the first decent shit i’ve had in three weeks.” <- as does that line, that old dude’s just telling it like it is

eggsy’s comment about the antidote just reminds me of when boromir looks a the ring and says something like “all this for such a tiny thing”

dun dun DUN what are THOSE? hints that whiskey may not be who we think he is??

great. so excited about that. i say, rolling my eyes into the sun

“i’ll fix their wagons.” no one says that matthew!

i. love. this. scene. because now we get cool gun tricks AND the second most metal thing that happens with a lasso in this movie (we’re coming up on the most metal thing)

like please please PLEASE show us more lasso tricks in the statesman movie

“well thank fuckin’ christ i didn’t need any backup.” i wonder if whiskey’s acting angrier than he actually is to throw off the fact that he might’ve caught harry’s glance at him betraying suspicion

RIP jack

imagine the timeline where whiskey was never a bad guy and harry hart just blew a dude away for NO REASON

now THAT would be an interesting movie

because harry and eggsy, for all they went through in the first film, never had a conflict where it was harry in the position of mangling the ropes up

but of course eggsy would never, never tell merlin what happened because he’s still ultimately on harry’s team

damn, charlie, literally blowing up your girlfriend seems kinda extreme

“THIS is vital!”

and here we get to see the biggest difference between merlin and ginger

now, i know there’s extra stuff in the novelization about their relationship and i can’t talk about it because i have no idea what’s in the book

but!

i DO still headcanon as merlin quitting fieldwork after lee’s death

his comment is either what he genuinely believes, or maybe what he fashioned his beliefs into after stepping down from his field role, and ginger is just as sincere in her desire to break into that aspect of working for statesman

it’s like seeing the same character but in two points in time, and it’s really cool

that balance would’ve also been a fun aspect of their romantic relationship to explore but alas! ’twas not to be

colin and mark could both play slenderman

look at those limbs.

gracious.

also this facetime scene with eggsy and tilde T.T

that has to be so terrifying to watch when you know the steps of death and what they look like as they get closer

but it also puts a fire under eggsy though

“i’m leaving with, or without you.”

and of course they’re both gonna go because that’s NOT characteristic eggsy behavior based off of how we know he views family/squad

that’s how they know he’s being for cereal

uugggggGGHHHH and THAT FORESHADOING

stacey pruitt, attorney at lawwwww

hmmmmmmmmm

what does this conversation between poppy and the president remind me of

gonna just sigh into the void

and now we have harry and eggsy on the jet along with the BIGGEST LIE harry hart has ever told in his LIFE

kingsman and statesman aesthetics at least tend to be the same color schemes. lotta golds, yellows. browns.

eggsy, yeah, it’s a bummer your gf dumped you, but this relationship wasn’t very well-developed or written so i’m not as bummed as i could be

“… and in that moment, all i felt was loneliness and regret.”

harry shut the FUCK UP

you felt NOTHING??

you weren’t thinking of, gee, i dunno, EGGSY? or MERLIN?? your MOM???

like these lines from him just seem to come out of left field and i can’t even halfway suspend my belief long enough to come close to believing him

like mr. hart you just gonna be like that in front of jesus and everybody????

so, yeah, of course he’s on board with saving tilde! because he recognizes (apparently just right that second) that “having something to lose is what makes life worth living”

and i don’t know if they felt like there need to be some weird, deeply contrasting reason for harry to swing around to being in support? or something?

like

i’m forever pissed about this characterization and i don’t even know if i’m expressing my anger in a way that makes it easy to understand lmao this is fine, i’m fine, literally not a single person in this fandom ever believed those lines anyway, it’s fine

moving on

... and even if they WERE true then honestly that just makes me more excited about butterfly knife, because that means that harry acknowledged both the bad side of the coin, and also the side with rae on it (which would mean seeing her for who she was and also recognizing his feelings for what THEY were) and drew the ultimately correct conclucision that love! is! always! worth! it! let that shit in like a welcome guest in the home of your heart, and they will stay as long as you let them!

as SOON as he wakes up ginger looks a thousand percent done lmao

and the “process” that they use to wake people up or whatever is—interesting

because all it is, is trauma turned into a tool which is kind of a weird concept to see in a “fun spy movie” imo

and this is one of what i feel were like only what, two? glimpses we get into whiskey’s Tragic Backstory

and the other scene isn’t a glimpse it’s just straight up exposition in his dialogue :/

jack, i’m sorry, you deserved better than this as a character

i’m sure the name “silver pony” is a reference to something but i don’t know what

“lookin’ GOOD merlin!” “feelin’ good, eggsy.”

ladies and gentlemen when i tell you that i lost my pool-noodle mind seeing him put on that suit watching this in a theater, i--

ANYWAY

because now that i have the horrible burden of having seen these movies a million times

i know it’s more symbolic

he stays in sweaters so long, as an agent of the background, because he walked a man to his death

so it figures when he puts the armor back on for the first time in ages

he walks to his own

uuuggghhhh the minesweeper

i hate this

i hate it

i hate everything about the feelings i’m having while this is happening

*beep-beep*

“you move, we die.”

i HATE IT

but like, i don’t know, how preferable is this to the end scene we almost got, which was merlin dragging his newly-legless corpse through a doggy door?

because it’s been literally multiple years and i still have no fucking idea

they’re both horrible in their own terrible, awful ways

damn, matthew, it’s not often someone manages to come up with multiple versions of a thing and have every version be so gut-wrenchingly horrific, i’m truly impressed and completely disgusted

“do as your told!”

god

everyone just going through twenty shades of Bad Feelings in the space of fifteen seconds here in the jungle

and colin and taron do this thing where it’s like—their eyes go dead? like, there was a light here, it’s gone now

it SUCKS

oh

oh no

ALMOST HEAVEN

WEST VIRGINIA

… fuck

LIFE IS OLD THERE

OLDER THAN THE TREES

“… singing?”

this sucks.

this sucks this sucks this sucks

MOUNTAIN MAMAAAAA

TAKE ME HOOOOME

COUNTRY ROOOADDSSSSS

*THUNK*

and he even took off his glasses before he hit him, he had his end coming towards him and he was still a gentleman

TAKE ME HOOOME

COUNTRY RROOOOAAAADDDSSSSS

his EYES AT THE END

FUCK

… okay i had to get up and go for a lil’ walk

anyway

(and again, roanoke canon, fucking fixing’ shit left and right, because we’re the goat)

harry and eggsy look MURDEREROUS

MERLIN SAID KNOCK YOU OUT

it DID make the grand ending fun action scene a lot more satisfying

because like, without merlin there, that means harry and eggsy get to go full feral

poppy you big idiot you just robbed them of all their motivation to show any kind of restraint and now everybody’s gonna get blown up

except for those dudes who get kicked by elton john

which would be an HONOR first of all

(the part where eggsy’s using his gun and shield vaguely reminds me of the specialist, @bloodofthepen​)

and harry and eggsy just—they’re drift compatible! that’s it! the teamwork! the grace! the flow! my god!

eggsy vs. charlie: round like 4 if you count the first movie

it was also satisfying to see charlie’s new arm in action

we love fun robotics and gadgetry in this house

colin firth is really just not afraid to throw himself full force down a bowling lane huh

ugh, seeing charlie slam eggsy over and over again makes my chest hurt

the sound mixing on all these films is top notch which isn’t always a good thing T.T

ROCKETMAN~~~

that shit will never NOT be funny

a wild elton john appeared!

eggsy is indestructible, he can walk off anything

but charlie, charlie i feel really sorry for, imagine being attacked by a superior version of your own limb, i.e. something that you can’t exactly quickly remove from yourself, that would be TERRIFYING

harry + elton = dream teaaaammmm

“darling if you save the world, you can have a backstage pass.”

i love you elton john :(

i would have been the most OBNOXIOUS hype man in the background of the entire kingsman vs. poppy land face-off

“let’s make this fair.” eggsy you’re fuckin’ cheeky

and poor harry, all that lank just getting tossed like noodles

i thought the robot puppers were very cool

“for the record charlie i’m more of a gentleman than you’ll ever be.”

mmmmmm do NOT like this death for charlie

SUPER glad we fixed it

and another scene where i can’t stand the sound mixing T.T it makes me cringe every time

“i don’t consider genocide especially lady-like.”

and are we gonna talk about how merlin knew how to make heroin?

… no?

nobody wanna talk about that?

ugh that houndstooth dress is so PRETTY though

high!poppy is weirdly comedic for all of two seconds and then it stops being funny real fast

whiskey D:<

this is so dumb

this is all so, so dumb

“our agencies were founded to uphold peace, to protect the innocent—“

there’s that nobility again

is what happened to whiskey fucked up, yes

i’m not saying we have to completely remove that from his story

i just

literally anything but this would have been preferable

and then HOT DOG it’s one of my favorite shots in the movie with the whip where harry’s just chucking it away from his face like a bamf, YES

how great is this cover, let’s be honest

like, i’d be lying if i said i didn’t enjoy this scene visually

plus

HARRY GETTING PEGGED RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH A FRYING PAN

gracious

it’s one fluid tracking shot, so kinda in alignmentment with what we’re used to

some people get annoyed with repeated junk but when you can do it THIS WELL you can get away with anything

D:

but then jack

you did NOT desert that

yes, you were in dire need of an attitude adjustment but jesus

“this is for you, merlin.”

/ugly sobbing/

and tilde is all betterrrrrr ;-;

you guys did itttttt

COUNTRY ROOOAAADDSS

TAKE ME HOOOOOOMMEEEE

TO THE PLAAAAAACCCEEEEE

I BELOOOOONNGGGG

and the scene with jamal and liam T.T #wholesomecontent

poor tequila, after i knew that you would have a bigger role in another movie, i was less annoyed by the fact that they iced you so quick into the story

#FOX2020

“… now we’re brothers, working side by side.”

spoiler alert i actually love champ’s toast

“y’all shittin’ in high cotton now” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

and ginger becomes the new whiskey like she always wanted T.T

merlin is proud from heaven (or london, depending on which canon)

iiiiiii have mixed feelings about the whole wedding scene, which is probably because i take HUGE issue with the weird proposal ultimatum thing that happened earlier

but the way eggsy says “not a doubt in my mind,” he says it so seriously and i remember that tilde almost died

there was such good intention packed into this couple that was so badly written that i just

augh

“but it is perhaps the end of the beginning.”

there’s ***merlin! lmao i see you dude, they did you dirty

look

i was pissed off about a lot of things that happened in this thing but i was honestly hype seeing tequila at the very end walking into the tailor shop

like, yeah, i’ll stick around to see what happens in this universe but i’m gonna complain the whole time

GO JACK RABBIT

RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS

and again, i almost didn’t see this movie.

… i think about that morgan sometimes.

hope she’s doin’ okay.

…

she’s probably not. D:

[fatbottombucky]

Clingy Hearts *Bucky Barnes x Reader*

Summary: [Trope] Person A over hears Person B complaining about A’s clingyness.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x [F]Reader

Rating: [+18] Mature Content

Warnings: Slight angst, S U P E R FLUFFYY!! Implied sexy times at the end, like a bit of foreplay happens but yeah

“I don’t know how you put up with it, man,” Bucky looks up from his phone, an eyebrow raise towards his friends, “Y/N? She hasn’t stopped texting you and it’s only 11 am,” Sam remarks and nudges Steve to agree.

Bucky snaps his eyes to his bestest friend, only Steve holds his hands up in defence and quickly shovels the cereal into his mouth. His attention returns to Sam, normally he’d brush off comments made by the man- after all, it’s their friendship to hate each other. Yet, this comment Bucky couldn’t just let slide because it involves you.

“I mean she just misses me,” Bucky mutters and glances down at the text conversation, an adorable picture of you and his support dog, Charu, laying on the shared bed, plus a few back and forth texts that accumulated through the morning.

Sam let out a wheeze, “Dude, it’s been what? An hour? Plus she works here too, she’ll be walking through these halls in twenty minutes, what’s there to miss?” A low hum of agreement comes from Steve, who only shovels more cereal into his mouth. “She’s just…”

Bucky sits up straight, “What?”

“Clingy,” Sam sighs and Bucky frowns, “she’s just always around, always in your personal bubble and constantly touching you,” he explains with sincerity, “it’s cute, I guess, but the girl is kinda full on. In your lap, constantly texting you when apart. If she was my girl I’d be itching for some time apart,” an airy chuckle leaves the man.

Clingy. From how Sam said it, it seems like a bad word. Something no one should be. It makes Bucky frown for a moment, lost in thought over this conversation. In actual fact, he’s the clingy one with the constant touching and wanting you nearby, he likes the limited space because he feels wanted then. He subtly initiates hand-holding, lap sitting and any form of touching, he just likes holding you.

As for the texting that’s Bucky’s fault too because he loves being able to talk to you when you aren’t around. They didn’t have this back in his time, texting and FaceTime, it’s all new to Bucky and he’s loving it. He’ll text you randomly, FaceTime you when working out and call you when away.

Bucky is the clingy one.

“Does it annoy you?” Steve asked whilst leaning against the kitchen counter, now done with his second breakfast.

“Should it?” His voice rising with the question because is it really that bad?

Both men nod, “Yeah, it’s kinda ridiculous how clingy she is. She’s like glued to you,” Steve finally voices his opinion, “but if you like it then… forget Sam said anything.”

“I imagine she sleeps close to you also,” Sam chuckled and Bucky nods, “do you ever get time for yourself? Bucky, the only time I see you without her is on a mission, she’s like an extra limb or something, doesn’t that bother you at all?”

And Bucky was backed into a corner like a frightened dog. His friends listing ways to subtly lower the contact, to help discuss the ‘situation’ with you and develop some ‘healthy boundaries’. He silently listened to them, nodding softly along to their words and chewing his bottom lip, this isn’t something he wants but too awkward to admit he’s the clingy one- considering they’re berating you for it.

“I’ll talk to her, I guess,” Bucky mutters and sips his now cold coffee, hoping that’ll end the conversation and it does.

What he thought was over, it was far from it. You had heard almost every word of the conversation, arriving early to work and just happening to pass the kitchen, their loud voices enticed you but their conversation made you hang back. A longing for Bucky to stick up for you, to admit he liked your ‘clingyness’.

You didn’t even realise you were clingy, it wasn’t a word you’d use to describe yourself or your relationship with Bucky. You just liked spending time with him and being close to him, he always made you feel safe and loved.

After hearing this though, you feel naive and a little stupid. If you knew Bucky disliked all of this then you wouldn’t have done it, if he needed boundaries then he should’ve said from the beginning, heck, you even created boundaries- why hadn’t he? You decided that you’d give Bucky the distant he wanted by going straight to work and switching your phone on silent.

Odd and strange are words Bucky would use to describe his day. He hadn’t seen you, which was odd, and you ignored his texts which was strange. He hated it. Bucky hated the lack of communication on your end, so he decided to hunt you down.

“Hey, doll,” Bucky smiles when seeing you sat at your desk, he rests his arms on the smooth surface and dazzlingly smiles at you, “I text you but you didn’t reply,” he tilts his head when looking at you.

You glance up from your computer screen, “I didn’t want to bother you,” he frowns a little, “plus working, not exactly appropriate to be texting you,” that never bothered you before, did Tony say something? “Did you need something?” You asked with a smile.

“Uh-no, see you later?” He asked a little unsure and you nodded, a smile that didn’t really light up your features like it usually does.

He leans over the desk and plants a chaste kiss to your cheek, very odd indeed. His mind reeled with thoughts and feelings has he done something to upset you? Were you having a bad day and just needed some space? Was he just overthinking things?

The day was long and hard, mostly stressful on his end. He couldn’t focus, always glancing at his phone and even waiting for you at lunch- the only text he received was one saying you were going out with friends instead.

He’s done something wrong. He’s upset you. You dislike him right now.

“Guys,” Bucky walks into the gym, “Y/N hasn’t text me all day and she went out for lunch,” he exasperated.

His two friends cheered, high fiving one another. Thinking this was a celebration, that Bucky had spoken his thoughts and laid down the law to you.

“You seem upset,” Steve observes as Bucky stares at his phone screen.

It only takes a look, one simple fearful look from Bucky for Rogers to know what’s up. To understand what’s happening, to realise that Bucky craves you- he’s the clingy one, and you just fuel it because you’re just as clingy.

“They’re both clingy,” it’s a statement to Wilson, Bucky looks back and forth between the men, “I think she might’ve overheard us, buddy. Nat talked about how she arrived early and was… off,” he shrugged sympathetically to his oldest friend, “sorry, we’ll go explain everything-“

“No,” Bucky cuts off Steve with a shake of his head, “I didn’t exactly navigate that conversation well, in fact, I agreed with you; I shouldn’t have, fuck sake, Barnes,” he reprimands himself.

Sam crosses his arms, “why did you agree? You could’ve just said to us that you’re overbearing, I would have agreed with that too.” Bucky frowns at Sam, “dude, you’re overbearing, she can look out for herself,” and Bucky only sighs. “Listen, imma say this once and never again, she’s good for you. Sorry I stuck my nose in, you just seem like the type who wants detachment but clearly she’s a blanket of comfort.”

Bucky smiles at Sam, an effortless smile and a loving one. They have their moments, Sam thinks he’s a know it all when it comes to this stuff, and sometimes he does have good advice- advice he takes but never tells Sam.

“Go,” Sam shoos him away, “fix things with your girl. She’s probably missing you stupid face,” Steve chuckles at Bucky flipping the bird to Sam as he exits and goes home.

The apartment is silent, except for the low volume of the television. You’re sat on the sofa, legs up on the coffee table and Charu cuddled up to your side. His dog sits up at the quiet sounds of entry, jumping off the sofa and running over to her companion, a soft howl of greeting.

“Hey, girl,” he pets her head softly, her thick fur instantly brining easiness to him, a comforting feeling of home and safety. He walks around the sofa with her, watching you with intensity as he sits down a little beside you- leaving an inch of space something he isn’t used to with you. “Y/N?” He asked gently, prying your eyes from the screen, “are you mad at me?”

The question is simple. So is the answer, he already knows it but he asks anyway.

He stutters a bit, a nervous edge to him, “I know you heard the conversation this morning.”

Your shoulders tense, you look away guilty for being caught earwigging. You bite your bottom lip, a nervous habit, you sneak a glance at your boyfriend.

“You aren’t clingy,” Bucky affirms, “well you are but so am I,” you frown slightly and he sighs, “I love you. I love us. We’re clingy, we crave each other’s touch in a crowded room, we text when only being apart for a few hours. I love it. I - just- I don’t know, I felt insecure and Sam made it seem like a bad thing. I’m sorry,” his speech is rushed and clogy, but it makes you smile.

“Not talking to you all day has been so hard,” you admit with a giggle, the sound raises Bucky to Earth. “Being away from you, I really hate it. Hearing you agree with them… Don’t make me feel like that again, okay?”

Bucky can only nod, the hurt in your voice makes Bucky mad at himself for doing that. He gently caresses your face with his hands, moving hair from your face as he leans down. His lips are soft, a little chapped, but gentle on your own. The kiss breathes an unspoken promise to never hurt you again, to never let you feel like he doesn’t love all of you.

Without breaking the kiss he pulls you to him, straddling his lap and he swiftly stands up, hands gripping your bottom tightly as he strides towards the bedroom. You smile into the kiss, deepening it with a bite of his bottom lip and fighting for dominance that Bucky wins easily.

A gentleness that only comes from Bucky when with you, he lays down on the bed softly, pulling his lips away and just staring at you longingly. A look of disbelief and love runs through his grey eyes.

The look has you becoming shy, you feel the blood rush to your face as he just stares at you softly. You caress his jaw and that brings him back, a simple touch has him remembering this is real. You’re real. He begins to undress you, kissing your heated skin when it’s revealed to him.

His large hands are everywhere all over your body and pinching gently. His touch isn’t rough or hard- like most times- this time it’s feather light, almost fleeting. He holds you to him, bearing no space between your bodies as his skilled fingers dance down your body. The touch creating goosebumps in their awake, slinking to the apex of your thighs. He leaves wet kisses on your neck as you whine softly.

Once bringing you to a blissful sedation, for a second time, he wraps his arms around you tightly as he enters but drops his head down to leave a kiss right where your heart is. The moment is so intimate and sweet, far from anything you’ve shared with him before, you gasp softly and card your fingers through his hair.

The evening is filled with soft kisses, gentle touches and whisperings of “I love you’s” to one another.

[mrkis]

nsfw a to z analysis — yukhei

A — Anal yukhei has always wanted to try this but whenever he wants to start a conversation about the subject with you, he immediately backs out and talks about something else. when you brought it up randomly one day, he was grinning from ear to ear and couldn’t keep down his excitement, eagerly taking your hand and dragging you towards your bedroom. during the process, he would repeatedly ask if you’re okay and rub your hips for comfort as you slowly take him in.

B — Boobs as much as he loves your ass, he’s definitely in love with your boobs. yukhei loves the way they look when he cups them with his huge hands, rolling your nipples between his fingers. whenever there is an opportunity, he will also jump straight to the chance of marking them.

C — Cum if he can’t cum in you or a condom, he will cum on your chest. the first time he came on your chest, it sent him in a little frenzy as he saw the pretty picture he had created on your skin. yukhei almost sees it as marking his territory when he cums on your chest, he tries to do it as often as he can.

D — Doggy style yukhei has a love and hate relationship with this position. he loves it because he can see your ass slap against his hips with each and every thrust, your back arching in pleasure and hands gripping the sheets. he hates it because he can’t see your face, most importantly, you reaction. yukhei wants to know if he’s doing good and the only way he knows, is to look at your reactions. but he’s starting to like it a little more as your moans increase in this position.

E — Eyes the only time he makes eye contact with you is when you’re either having slow and sensual sex or when he has his cock shoved deep down your throat. his round orbs filled with love and lust stare into yours as he cums.

F — Food bringing food into the bedroom is a slight hit or miss. the idea of having food being involved seems exotic to the both of you, especially if it’s something like whipped cream or chocolate, but then the thought of knowing how messy and sticky it would be, it puts you both off.

G — G-spot this is something that Yukhei is good at repeatedly hitting, whether it’s by using his cock or his fingers. he likes to purposely miss it too, just to get you riled up and frustrated.

H — Hair his hair is your favourite thing to grab when he goes down on you and secretly, yukhei likes it too. your hands automatically grip onto his hair as he lays between your legs and it instantly turns him on even more, which makes him work harder for you.

I — Initiative (who starts it all first) it’s mostly yukhei who starts it but there will be days where you would be the one to initiate. he stares at you from across the room, waiting for you to notice and if you don’t, he simply comes up and wraps his arms around your middle, lowly whispering into your ear how much he wants you.

J — Jacking off the only time that he will ever jack off, is when you’re not available and sadly, during his schedule with wayv, it’s near always. he lays alone in his bed, hand wrapped tightly around his cock as he jacks himself off to the thoughts of you both together. 

K — Kink yukhei definitely has a spanking kink, 100%. even if it’s not during sex, he will always try and find a way to slap your ass. he gets excited at the sound it makes once his hand comes in contact. yukhei also has a thing for biting, but not to hurt you. He likes leaving his marks on you to show who you belong too but he also likes to bite to conceal his grunts and groans.

L — Location yukhei likes to be a risk taker once in a while and despite enjoying sex in the comfort of his own bed (or yours), he also really enjoys having sex in the shower. you both worry over slipping and breaking a few bones but try to stay positive.

M — Motivation (what turns him on) pretty simple, lingerie turns him on. if he sees or knows that you’re wearing any type of lingerie, colour and material, he’s instantly going to be turned on and will make a move 100%.

N — No despite being into choking and spanking, yukhei will not do anything that will seriously hurt you, meaning he will not try bdsm. it’s been brought into conversation once and yukhei instantly shut it down. he doesn’t want to see you in pain and will stop everything if you make a noise or pull a face of discomfort

P — Part (favourite body part) for you, it’s obviously his hands. the way his hands grip onto your hips as he pounds into you, the way his hands slap against your ass, they way his hands wrap around your throat. For him, it’s your legs. he loves it when you wrap your legs tightly around his hips when he’s fucking you or when you cage him in when he’s eating you out.

Q — Quickies he’s into them, without a doubt. he prefers real sex though, but he wouldn’t turn down a quickie if he was asked, and especially if he was feeling horny or if you were. he’d happily help you out if you were down.

R — Risk (would they take risks, would they experiment etc) yukhei definitely wouldn’t be opposed in taking some sort of risk and experimenting certain things with you as long as it wouldn’t end in you being in pain. 

S — Stamina (how many rounds, how long they last etc) yukhei has good stamina, 100%. he’d usually go for two or maybe three rounds and if he was feeling it, he would definitely go for more. I think he can last pretty long, unless you have him extremely turned on.

T — Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? receiving or giving end?) he loves using toys on you, he’s mostly down for any toy you have. he’s a big fan of the dildo you have, watching as he slides it back and forth between your folds to tease you. 

U — Unfair (how much they love to tease you) he’s a BIG tease, as stated above with the toys. he hearing your whines, gasps and pleads for him to either touch or use the toy on you. if you’re frustrated and on the brink of tears, he will finally give in.

V — Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make etc) yukhei isn’t that loud. he’ll let out a few grunts and groan when he’s close to cumming. yukhei likes to make sure that you’re loud, either if it’s you moaning or whining. he knows how good he makes you feel when you moan loudly.

W — Wild card (get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) you were slightly dumbfounded as you watched yukhei jump out of bed after having sex. usually he’d lay down beside you and fall asleep but you watched as he rushed into the bathroom and came back seconds later with a wet towel, crawling in between your legs and gently cleaning you up, wiping away the cum that leaked out of you. he cuddles into you after he’s finished, running his fingers through your hair and kissing you softly, whispering sweet little nothings...

X — X-Ray  he definitely has a big dick, there’s no point in denying it. probably 6 inches and he knows how to use it well 

Y — Yearning (how high is their sex drive) both of your hormones don’t go well when you’re together. once you’re in the same room, you’ll either be sleeping or going at it non stop. 

Z — Zzz...  if you’ve had rough sex, there’s a high chance that yukhei would fall asleep a few minutes after. he would be exhausted after using up his energy and he struggles to stay awake. if you’ve had slow and sensual sex, he’s most likely to just lay there and talk with you about it or as if nothing had ever happened, there’s no in between.

[caps-lockdown]

Sweater Weather Part Five

Here’s the next installment! Enjoy!

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!PottsRelativeReader!

Words: 4,047

WARNING THIS CHAPTER IS PRETTY STEAMY AND IS AS CLOSE TO SMUT AS I’LL BE WRITING FOR THIS FIC. Reader discretion is advised! Warnings/Ratings: R/Possible 18+ For more flirty and sexy! Steve Rogers, mentions of booze, language, a TON of flirting/adult situations. You’ve been warned, the temperature isn’t the only thing hot in this chapter! Reader discretion is advised. 

Also AU in the fact NO ONE DIED during Endgame/Steve didn’t go back. Also as much as I adore Morgan Stark, she isn’t around yet. I didn’t know where this would fit timeline wise, so just ignore the timeline. Kay? Cool.

Summary: You’ve just moved to New York after a long 3 year stint travelling the world and helping with various charities, taking a new job with Stark Industries thanks to your cousin Pepper. A trip out to surprise Tony and The Avengers for the weekend turns from good to terrible when the a/c at the compound breaks. How will you beat the heat for the record breaking weekend? 

In Y/N Y/L/N format, I don’t own any gifs, outfits or characters except for the Reader and her friend Kate. No beta so I DO own all of my mistakes. 

Part Five

The room was cold and the yet the first thing you noticed was the very warm arm that was draped lazily across your waist, and the heat that radiated off of whoever’s broad chest that was behind you. This isn’t right. Your eyes were too heavy with the hangover that was flooding your system to open, but you managed to force your body to turn over. You were pretty sure you were giving molasses on a cold day a run for its money with how slow you shifted your weight, finally facing the sleeping person after what felt like eons. Who the fuck is in my bed?

You swam through your memories from last night, your eyes darting behind your eyelids in panic as you couldn’t remember anything past Thor helping you to your room. Oh shit. Thor is in my bed?! You brought your shaking hands up to his chest. Wait. Hardly any chest hair. Doesn’t Thor have some? You cursed internally, not having seen most of the guys shirtless in well over three years so you couldn’t actually guess. You were going to have to just deal with the budding migraine and open your damn eyes. Sunlight be damned.

You went into cardiac arrest the minute you cracked an eye open to find Steve-Fucking-God-Damn-Captain America-Rogers sleeping peacefully, blissfully unaware of how his flexing arm was pulling you into him closer. This had to be a dream.

“Um….Steve?” You whispered, poking the sleeping soldier hard with your index finger, a small huff from the man who was violating your space being the only response you were given. “Steve, wake the HELL up!” A sleepy smile graced his features, the blonde snuggling you closer and putting both arms around you.

“I’m having that dream again.” Your body fully awoke at his soft statement, and you almost wanted to let him sleep, thinking it really sweet that you had plagued his sleep as much as he had yours over the time you had spent apart. “You’re so perfect. Y/N.” A beam of a smile swept over your features, allowing your hands to remain on his chest and resting your head against it, taking him in and hearing his heartbeat. This felt amazing. It just felt right.

That ended within five seconds of his large hands dropping from your waist, roughly latching onto your ass. The not polite and none too subtle squeeze of his digits into your soft flesh set you promptly the fuck off.

“STEVEN GRANT ROGERS WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!” You voice was shrill as you let out your loud screech. Your heart threatened to burst from its cavity as you pushed him hard, the good Captain jerking his eyes awake with a groan and staring down into your pissed off facial features.

“OH SHIT!” Steve launched himself off your bed and onto the hard floor with a loud thud, his eyes adjusting to the room and realizing he was in fact, not in his bedroom like he had thought previously the evening before when he drunkenly forced his way into it. “Y/N I can explain…”

“I DON’T WANT AN EXPLANATION, I WANT YOU OUT!” You cried, grabbing your pillows and throwing them in an assault on the equally hungover, but not quite awake blonde man, him scrambling to his feet and running a hand over his face.

“Doll I didn’t mean…”

“Rogers if you are not out of my room in the next FIVE seconds I will start screaming for Tony.” You handed him the ultimatum with clenched teeth, the target of your frustration chuckling nervously as he gave a timid nod.

“I’ll go but I want you to know something.” Your left eye twitched at the nerve of this man. Coming into YOUR room while you were asleep, and CUDDLING with you?! That you could deal with just fine. Quite willingly, actually. But you would NOT stand for being groped in your bed, no matter how much you had craved his hands on you before. It wasn’t right, and you were not an easy piece of ass. Not to mention the initial shock of him even being in your bed, shirtless, was enough to freak you out. What if you two had done something? Your mind was reeling at the thought. There is no way you would have and not remembered. “I’m not sorry.”

Your ears were burning, much like the rest of your face as you sputtered, “W….What?”

He sighed, blonde hair falling in his face. His blue eyes held a sense of insecurity in them as he stared at your figure, his own breath caught as you appeared to look breathless yourself. “Waking up next to you is something I never thought I’d get to do again, so regardless of the how,” A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips before he forced it away, “I am not going to apologize for finally getting to hold you while we slept in a bed instead of a couch. I won’t apologize for having the best night of sleep I’ve had in years because for a moment it felt right having you in my arms. Not once. Not ever. I’m not sorry.”

You sat, staring at him slack jawed as he turned his back and simply walked out of your room.

Kate’s number was punched into your phone without you looking, you nearly in tears as she happily answered. “Hey beautiful! You finally get some super dick last night?”

“Kate I think I fucked up. Big time.” Your conversation was muted through the door, Steve leaning against it with the weight of the world on his shoulders. He had the night on repeat in his brain, trying to gauge if he had done anything unforgivable in his drunken slumber. Not counting this morning of course. He had honest to god thought it was a dream, believing whole heartedly that your frame laying next to his was nothing more than a ghost. A vision he never got to see come true. He never would have reacted that way if he had known the truth. Steve Rogers was NOT that guy. He could sense the panic in your voice an assumed you had no idea what had happened after you had gotten to your room. Rightly so he’d imagine, with all of the drinks you had consumed. He knew you weren’t really mad at him, but all he could do was give you space. He turned his head to the right, seeing Nat’s door open. A very guilty looking James Barnes emerged, his eyes wide as if Steve had grown a third head when he looked to see the man sharing the hallway with him. Steve grinned, arms crossing over his shoulders.

“Good morning pal. Sleep well?”

“Could ask you the same thing. Punk.” The former man shook his head, his face changing into one of sadness as he tried to make out your nervous and upset sentences from between layers of wood. “Damn. Tell me on the way to breakfast?”

The two began their walk of shame towards the kitchen, filling each other in on what exactly had and hadn’t happened the night prior. You hung up with Kate, dragging your body out of bed, figuring out how (with the help from Kate of course) you would let the man who you had kicked out know you would never be doing that again.

~~After Breakfast~~

“Jesus I thought it was hot before.” Sam muttered, Bucky and Steve both nodding dumbly in agreement as they watched from the large window overlooking the expansive patch of green grass outside the compound. Nat, Pepper, and now Carol Danvers, who had brought a very adorable kid by the name of Peter Parker to the compound to ask Tony some very important questions about upgrades to his suit, had taken to sunbathing. In bikinis.

“You gonna be alright when Y/N comes out in a few?” Bucky side eyed his oldest friend, the man glaring at him as he lightly shoved his non flesh arm. “Or are we gonna have to put you back on ice to cool down?”

“I’ll be just…” His voice died in the back of his throat as he saw your figure step out onto the lawn in your very curve fitting blue bikini.

His ragged breath betrayed him to his two friends, his eyes glued to the sway of your hips barely covered in the fabric. He had to advert his gaze, but only for a second when you bent over at the waist, gladly accepting the glass of sweet tea Pepper held out for you from her chair. The curve of your backside, the very same one he had managed to literally snag handfuls of this morning taunted him as you chose to lay down on your stomach on your own lawn chair, unaware of his heated stare. When Tony lightly misted your beautiful frame with tanning oil, your body jerking at the sudden coolness he felt his throat go bone dry. This just wasn’t fair.

“You were saying Rogers?” Sam chuckled at Steve’s sudden silence, the super soldier hearing nothing but his own blood pounding in his ears. “Can’t say I blame ya though, Princess Peach is looking particularly ripe and juicy today. Right Barnes?”

The brunette gave an appreciative whistle, “Very true Wilson, I agree.” His eyes weren’t looking at you though, they were gawking at a certain red head’s tight black bikini clad body. The three men collectively groaned as Tony ruined their perving session, outing them to the four women, who in turn sat up and stared disappointedly. Your scowl turned into a smirk when the two of you locked eyes. Well shit. “I guess we better start working on our apologies fellas.”

“That requires us to feel guilty first.” Sam shot out, none of them paying attention to Peter as he rushed outside with a new pitcher of tea for the ladies. They didn’t miss Pepper barely missing Tony’s face with her palm when he attempted to untie the string holding up her bikini top on her neck. At least he would be in the dog house with them. “Let’s go, Stark is outnumbered and unarmed, time to level the playing field.”

“What are we playing?” Thor asked, sidling up to the trio who began their trek to the large door that lead outside, Sam starting to take off his shirt.

“We’re setting a thirst trap Blondie, beating the women at their own game.” He tossed his shirt carelessly to the side, the other three quickly understanding and stripping themselves of their tops. “Now act like you aren’t sorry for getting caught Rogers. Y/N has already led on she can barely restrain herself around you. She told me she feels awful for kicking you out of her bed this morning. Just turn on the charm and she’ll be on you like a koala bear.”

“Easy for you to say Sam, you didn’t shamelessly grab her ass this morning because you thought you were dreaming.” The door opened and instantly Steve wanted to crawl back into the less sticky air of the compound living room.

“True, but did she once tell you to stop?” Before he could respond to his friends query, you had taken the chance at straddling your chair, your eyes glazing over at the sight of the shirtless men as they walked, no strutted into your field of vision. Sweet Jesus three years had passed and they only managed to look even more delicious. Aged like fine wine. Steve’s abs had beads of sweat clinging to them, and you would kill to have been the reason for them instead of the hot as balls weather. He was beautiful, strong shoulders and those powerful arms you had woken up in almost daring you to wind yourself back into them. You bit your lower lip as he imitated your previous smirk with ease. This just wasn’t fair.

“Good afternoon ladies, fine weather we’re having huh?” Bucky said cheerfully, the four women sending him a mixture of mock glares and middle fingers. “Wow why the hostility?”

“You were gawking at us earlier, sorry if we aren’t happy to see you.” Carol’s voice was plain and flat, the winter soldier’s smile only widening at Nat’s eyes sweeping over him the same way he had done to her just moment before stepping outside.

“That isn’t stopping you from staring at us now, is it?” He retorted.

Carol huffed, turning to stare at the fabric of her chair instead of the four shirtless gods. Peter looked confused but chose to say nothing. Tony just chuckled at the double standard of it all. You crossed your arms under your chest, trying to keep your knowing smile at bay when Steve’s gaze dropped to your assets as they were gently lifted in your bikini top. “My eyes are up here Cap.”

“Wasn’t looking at em Doll.” Steve offered lowly, your body heating up as he brazenly continued his visual appraisal of your figure. It was like all of the blood in your body had turned into liquid fire, and you barely contained a shiver as he moved to place his hands on either side of your chair, giving you flash backs to when he had dropped you on the couch a couple of nights previously.

“Well at least you’re honest.” You whispered, swallowing as he leaned down, face in front of yours, his expression dark and god damn he was going to pay dearly for all of this teasing later. “Something on your mind Rogers?” You cooed.

“I thought I warned you about your shorts getting any shorter Sweetheart.” His voice had come out as a deep growl, the rumble from his chest making your head spin and you went to grip the metal frame of the chair in response to his seductive statement. With every word you were beginning to kick yourself even harder for not jumping his ass this morning. “Might just have to teach you a lesson about what happens when you don’t listen.”

“That a threat? Or a promise?” You whispered back, eyes never leaving his.

Tony’s gagging sounds in the background reminded the two of you that you weren’t alone.

“Seriously you two, go get a fucking room already. I think m’gonna be sick.” You rolled your eyes at your dramatic cousin in law, Peter stifling a laugh at the absurdity of his mentor’s exaggerated heaving motions. Steve leaned up from the chair, shaking his head and sitting his fine ass down on the grass.

“So, how are we going to beat this heat Mister Stark?” Peter’s question stopped the older man’s performance, Tony standing up straight and looking at his nails.

“Any bright ideas Y/N?”

You already had six by the end of breakfast.

~~Later~~

“Y/N, you are an absolute GENIUS!” Nat exclaimed happily on your right, you looking at your masterpiece of the weekend. A couple of tarps, some bungee cords and a garden hose later you had turned the bed of your truck into a redneck pool.

“Yea Short Stack, amazing job. Now move over.” You stared at your cousin as if he was crazy, Tony taking a small step backwards. “I mean…ladies first?”

“Better. You heard the man, ladies.” The four of you hurriedly climbed into the truck bed, happy sighs of contentment leaving your mouths as you sunk into the cooling liquid. The plastic from the tarp was something you’d have to get used to feeling on your skin, but otherwise you were in complete bliss. The men looked upset as they realized there was really only enough room for one more body. “Now who are we gonna let join us?”

“Well it’s my tarp.” Tony started.

“But you’ve been an asshole all weekend, Stark.” Sam cut in.

“I’d like to nominate myself, as I am the best looking male here.” Bucky added, the women laughing and forcing the man to pout.

“I think you need to get your eyes checked Pal.” Steve said with a roll of his eyes.

“I’m not going to suggest any one of us, it’s entirely up to you goddesses to decide.” Thor smiled warmly at you, your heart melting only slightly. “But I might add that Bruce would not be a suitable option if you want your truck to remain intact.”

“Yea where is Banner?” Nat asked, and everyone in the group looked wrecked with guilt, having not seen the giant man since earlier that morning. “Seriously? How did we lose Bruce?”

“I’m sure he’s somewhere,” You waved away the worry, putting your eyes on Peter who stood staring at his feet. “Parker, you’re in.”

The excited teen didn’t need to be told a second time, scrambling up into the back of the truck with all the gusto raging hormones could buy. He smiled brightly, muttering “Thank you” and “You guys are so nice” repeatedly as he sat on the edge, plunging his feet into the soothing water.

“Fine. I see how it is. We’ll just make our own club and you won’t be invited!” Tony huffed, crossing his arms like a toddler and pouting. It fell on deaf ears, the five of you in the truck paying him no mind as you started splashing at each other. “Let’s go guys.”

The time flew by as you enjoyed your friend’s company, and you quickly had taken a major liking to Peter. He was like a younger brother, super sweet and engaging, and quite the amazing listener. You were a bit put off at first hearing just how he knew the team, feeling the need to protect him as he recalled stories of the battles he had been a part of. Especially during the accords situation. You heart pounded with concern as he told you about Thanos, and all of the features on his suit Tony had made him. You’d never tell but you were more than relieved to hear of the “instant kill” function your cousin had put into it.  

“Well we might as well let the guys have a turn now that we’re legit becoming prunes.” Carol conceded, the rest of you agreeing and standing up from the water. It was still stupid hot outside, and truthfully you were feeling a bit bad at not allowing the guys to join you earlier. Or at the very least take turns.

“I’m thirsty, someone come with me to get some drinks from the kitchen?” You inquired, stretching your limbs before beginning your descent out of the back of your vehicle.

“I’ll go with you miss Y/N!” Peter piped up, clamoring after you. You couldn’t help but giggle at his eagerness to accompany you, suspecting that being someone new meant for new conversations. You’d never been happier to have your ear talked off before, but this kid was easily becoming your favorite.

“Huh, that’s weird. They aren’t in here.” Your statement came out confused upon entering the empty living room area, the fans and coolers mostly missing. “Where the hell did they all go?”

“Shh miss Y/N, you hear that?” Your eyes met Peter’s and he motioned towards the kitchen, where you could hear the faint deep laughter of Steve and Thor. Tiptoeing into the large kitchen, you were once again met with an empty room, your expression puzzled when you looked back at the teen who shrugged. “I know we heard…look!”

He moved to look at the small sign that was haphazardly taped to the large door leading to the walk in freezer of the compound, the messy writing no doubt the byproduct of your cousin.

“He-Man-Woman-Hater-Freezer. How original.” You let out an exasperated sigh at the lengths these childish men would go to. “They’ll get over it.”

You threw the door open to see the small group of men sitting among the floor of the freezer, Tony and Sam wearing a few more layers of clothes, the rest of the inhabits still shirtless and looking super pleased with themselves.

“Hey Short Stack can’t you read?!” Tony glared at you, Steve unable to keep his eyes in his head at your figure gracing his presence again. “You aren’t welcome here! Be gone! Before someone drops a house on you!”

“Stop being so damn dramatic Snark, we were just wondering where you went off to. We’ve decided to let you all take a dip in the pool I built, if any of you were still interested.”

“Well thanks but we don’t need your second rate pool…” Tony began, looking betrayed shortly after as Sam and Thor moved to join you. “What the fuck guys?”

“Hey, watch your damn mouth! There’s a teenager here!” You retorted in mock shock, moving to cover Peter’s ears who only laughed lightly. “Did you find Bruce?”

“Obviously not. Do you see him in here?” Sam asked, squeezing past you to take off his clothing in preparation to heading back into the heat wave. “I bet ten bucks he chickened out and ran off to find a/c.”

“You owe me ten bucks then Wilson.” The familiar voice of Bruce Banner boomed through the freezer, and all of your eyes came to rest upon a rather large pile of bagged and frozen vegetables. A large grin broke your face as you noticed an out of place green toe sticking out from under a bag of broccoli. “Also, you guys smell horrible. Make sure you shower before you taint Y/N’s hard work with your nasty man stench.”

“Thank you, but I’m sooooo calling you Jolly Green Giant from now on.” Laughter rose out of you when the man moved the container of carrots off his eyes to narrow them at you, you batting your eyelashes innocently.

“Alright well I don’t know about you suckers but I’m gonna go get in that pool!” Sam brought everyone back to earth, the rest of the guys clearing out and following Parker out to the grounds. Your hand went to grab Steve’s wrist, tugging him in the opposite direction once Tony was out of your sights, dragging the man with you until you were both standing in front of the door that led to your room.

“Somethin on your mind Y/N?” His voice was soft as you tried to steel your nerves, your pulse erratic. You had talked with Kate about what you were going to say when you finally got this beautiful man alone, but now that the moment was here you were back to being the uncertain mess you had been all weekend. “Sweetheart? You’re making me nervous here.”

Seeing the same insecurity in his stunning blue eyes that made your heart hurt when you kicked him out of your room that morning pushed all of your words out the nearest window.

“Oh screw it.” You admonished, quickly putting your arms around his neck and pulling Steve’s lips to yours. He was quick to the jump, arms wrapping around you and walking you backwards until you were against your door, smiling into the kiss and making your knees weak. You pushed all of your emotions into it, the years of longing and passion bruising both of your lips as he deepened the kiss, returning the mutual feelings with a reckless abandon. Kissing him was everything you had been dreaming over the years, his lips pillow soft as they nipped at your bottom lip, tongue darting out to meet yours in a languid dance. It was perfect, he was perfect.

A deep groan fell out from his throat when he detached his mouth from yours, moving along your jaw line and peppering kisses along the column of your neck. “Doll you are going to be the death of me.” You moaned at his hot whisper against your skin, feeling him smirk into your shoulder. You couldn’t agree with him more.

“We don’t have much time before I have to help Pepper with dinner. Maybe an hour, hour and a half tops.” You got out heatedly as he continued his assault on your neck, hands moving across your body and leaving a searing fire in their absence.

“Then let’s not waste anymore time.” He growled, pulling on the handle behind you and pushing you through the door, your giggles fading into moans as he kicked it shut behind him.

Tag List: @kaytizzle @cuffski @giggleberts @pies-wands-and-more @chrisevansfanfic @yesno18 @zsuzstyina @zombiepotterfour @evanstush

[ff-imagines]

NSFW alphabet: salty tofu

Minors dni xoxo

A- aftercare

He’s not a master at it. Will get you some blankets, but he’s kinda unwilling to go very far from you. Is willing to take a bath/shower afterwards. 

“Hm? Ugh, but the kitchen is so far. Come on, let’s just start a bath.”  

B - body part

Of yours, he adores your ears and nose. Likes to nip at your ears and will pinch your nose to tease you sometimes. He really likes it when you two get close enough that your noses touch. Eskimo kisses for days, baby! 

Of his own, he’s pretty insecure about himself, but he likes his tongue, and will always drag you with him to find cool new tongue rings. Will find a tongue ring with a slightly pointy tip so he can tease you with it. 

C - cum 

Loves facials, and will probably cum again if you swallow -will definitely try to initiate another round. Feels kinda bad if it gets in your hair but will mainly laugh it off. 

“Did… did you just…...? Hmhm, how cute~ Maybe you need more, just as an extra measure to be sure you’re satisfied?”  

D - dirty secret 

Sometimes listens to nsfw asmr. He’s really stimulated by sound. He absolutely hates silence, and even when he’s having sex he has to have some kind of music in the background. 

He’d die if anyone caught him or saw that in his watch history, though. 

E - experience

Absolutely none. Hes barely had friends, you seriously think he’s gotten this far with anyone? He’s a big fucking virgin lmao 

F - favorite position

Probably doggy, or missionary, but he keeps your legs on his shoulders. Likes the face-off as well because he can get close to your face. Would be interested in mirror sex. 

G - goofy

the first few times, sorta? He’s really just trying to play off the fact that he knows literally nothing by making you smile. Its mainly light teasing, might tickle you to get you smiling. Likes being playful in order to initiate, play fighting is a favorite of his.  

“Hey, you! No no, come here! Where are you going? Hehe, do i have to chase you down? Wait, no, i was kidding, get back here!”

H- hair 

Well groomed, not hairless but he definitely keeps it trimmed and clean. 

I- intimacy 

When he gets the hang of it, he really tries to make it known how intimate this is for him. It is every time, but he gets better at showing it with practice. 

”look at me… look up. I want to see your face. Don’t hide from me, i need to watch you come undone…”

J- jerk off 

A lot, honestly. There’s been points in his life where he was going a solid 2-3 times a day. It’s less often now that he has you, but he still does it at least 3-4 times a week. Would be pretty embarrassed if you caught him, but would be thrilled to catch you in the act~ 

“Hey, there you are! I’ve… been…….. hehe, if you needed some help, you could’ve just asked~”  

K- Kinks

Light sadomasochism. Really likes biting, and while he never squeezes down, he likes grabbing your neck to reinforce his dominance. Never leaves hand prints or anything, he feels that’s a little too far. 

He definitely prefers to be top, it helps him be more confident. 

He also likes half clothed sex. It makes it all seem a lot more desperate, like you couldn’t wait long enough to even take your shirt and socks off. 

Also, teasing and edging are a big kink of his. 

L- location 

Mostly the bath/shower, and bedroom. He’s a little nervous about anyone seeing you two anywhere else. 

M- motivation 

If you get or have a piercing, he’s gonna be a lot more handsy. 

Compliments make him feel more handsy, and it can progress if you return his touches. 

Sometimes certain songs just make him more hyped up and energetic, and he needs a way to release it. If he catches you listening to certain suggestive songs (like desire- Meg Myers) he’ll be very interested in reenacting what the song describes. 

“Ah, I love this song! Hmm, maybe it would be good background music for us, hehe….”  

N- no

Doesn’t like to make you bleed, and absolutely hates the idea of a threesome. Would honestly be kinda offended if you suggested it. 

“What? No! I’m enough for you, aren’t I? If you want to do something different, you could just ask...”  

doesn’t like toys used for pain on himself, like floggers. Would use it on you, however. He’s more on the sadism side than he is masochism. 

O- oral 

Really likes receiving, but he loves giving. That spiked tongue ring will come out to play, so if you’re a masochist, it’s a win-win! 

“Hehe, I can feel you twitching~ try to stay still, or I’ll make you wait even longer~”  

P- pace 

Starts out painfully slow and progresses to very rough and hard. Not necessarily fast, he just likes making sure you feel how deep he is. 

Q- quickies 

Not against them. Not favorable, but he’s still getting his dick wet so he’s down. 

“Oh? We’ve only got maybe 15 minutes, though? …… hehe, do you need me that badly? Alright, come here then~”  

R- risk 

Nope. Hates the idea of anyone seeing you like that. He’s legit got the opposite of a exhibitionist kink. 

“Wha?! Here? No! Just wait till we get home, Ok? There’s too many eyes around, I don’t want anyone to see you but me.”  

S- stamina 

2 rounds and most. The first is very drawn out, you might not be able to handle a second, honestly. But he’s willing to give it another go~ 

T- toys 

Doesn’t own any, is more open to trying the basics, but he’s not exactly got a big kink for them. 

U- unfair 

Very. It’s his thrill, honestly. He’s very into edging, even for himself. He’s a little less patient if you’re edging him, though. 

“A little longer, I’ll give you what you want. Just wait, you’re so beautiful like this, just a few more minutes~”  

V- volume 

He’s more of a talker, saying demands and asking if you want more of what he’s giving you. He doesn’t moan much, he just gives deep sighs and hums. Sometimes chuckles at your reactions if he finds them extra cute. Bites his tongue and groans pretty loudly when he cums. 

W- wild card 

He likes to hold one of your hands. Even if he’s pinning them down, he intertwines your fingers with his. It makes him feel more grounded, and for him it’s strangely intimate. 

X- X Ray 

… have y’all seen his ascended skin? I refuse to believe he’s not fucking packin’. Probably 6-7 inches. 

Y- yearning 

High sex drive, and it’s easy to get him going. He’d be down for maybe 3-4 times a week. Won't be offended if that’s too much, he knows he’s got a ridiculously high libido and it can be hard to keep up with him. He focuses on snuggling up with you to keep his mind off his need instead.  

“Hmm, tired today? That’s alright. Rest for a while, I’ll take care of you later on then~”  

Z- zzz

not too quickly, makes sure you fall asleep first. He likes pillow talk and soft sleepy conversations afterward. Sometimes he’ll tell you a story about his first attendant, his face looks solemn, his voice melancholic when he tells the story. He won’t tease you after at all, he doesn’t have the energy or will too. 

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Hold on, we’re coming (The Borderlands Series, Part 10.)

Series description: Not many people had the chance to see a vault or to mean anything in the world of Pandora. Will a hardly built relationship in the loneliness of the desert would have the potential to change anything in the world of anarchy and chaos - or will the friends try to murder each other?

Part Summary: Teaming up can be a good thing - unless your teammated are barely a useful piece of crap and more than half of them is not mentally in the best state

Warnings: A lot of guns, violence, reader is a tough badass - not a vault hunter tho. They’re badass and don’t give a fuck. And Scooter is a dumb bitch, as always.

Word count: 2 K

Tagging: @notaliteraltoad​

Series master list:  H E R E

You haven't seen, hear, or noticed Janey and Scooter the whole afternoon - which was the best thing that had happened to you over the last few weeks. As far as Hammerlock and Wainwright's hospitality went, they let you eat as much as you could, have a cup of a really strong coffee, and to have some sleep. It was painfully obvious that no-one won't have even a fucking nap during your time on Pandora and Athenas.

Wainwright was so nice that he gave each of some fresh clothes - but no matter how hard everyone tried, you were persistent with keeping the old, baggy sweatpants Rayray has decorated with the spraypaint earlier. You didn't know why, but you got a feeling of safety when you wore them. They were somehow familiar to you with their scent and everything.

Later that day, just minutes before you were about to take off from Eden-6 after picking Hammerlock, Wainwright did as he promised. A small package wrapped in what seemed like a tapestry torn off from a wall was put in front of you. And dearest Lord, weren't you just excited? Heart-eyes could be seen in your face as you sighed, thanking him with a smile. You barely smiled, but this... This was worthy of a smile.

When you opened it up, there was a fairly new silver revolver, ugh, the cravings of flowers on it were adorable. You sighed, having a total heart-eyes for the Jakobs man, touching the gun from all the angles you could. Yeah, you maybe couldn't shoot from revolvers for the deepest shit, but you weren't planning on telling Mr. Jakobs. This gun was too perfect.

"I call it the Wild Rose of Pandora. It's not that old, so it should be firing just good, miss." - Wainwright smiled and you got to the other item. To your surprise, it was an old Tediore shield. But it seemed to be working just fine. That made you look on Wainwright with a question. - "As I was informed, you're the only one who hadn't packed one, so I've searched a few of my wardrobes to find you one."

You opened your lips with surprise. Then you opened your eyes just as Scooter usually as you thought about your excuse. - "I was living in a pretty... Deep... Shithole... On Pandora. These were my neighbors, so you had the idea. We don't use shields there." - You smiled and attached the shield to some belt you were given as well because that shield would probably drag your sweatpants to your ankles.

It was a funny sight to look at the almost invisible glow that appeared on your skin. You didn't feel more protected or better in any way - that was when Athena took the revolver and shot at you, making you scream. You opened up your lips into a big O as you took the gun back and got her into your sight.

"Is everyone here fucking crazy? Am I the only fucking one reasonable?" - You yelled at Athena, making Ray and Blindy look at you. It seemed fun because you had Athena at your gunpoint, but the story couldn't be different.

"LOOK AT ALL THOSE CHICKEN!" - Ray shouted and jumped into the air with happiness. You looked at them, seeing how Blindy is chuckling at the view he was given. - "Ray! No! I'm not going to kill anyone! Why the fuck are you so keen on killing people?" - You asked and but the gun to a holder.

"If I might say, you seem to be the only one with an actual psychosis. I was just trying if its working and look at you, you're still standing and being a bitch to everyone." - Athena grinned, leaving you with Wainwright. For a moment, you just watched her back leaving before you noticed that Blindy and Ray still watching you as the second incarnation of Christ.

"What are you waiting for, fuckers? Should I start crying or... What?" - You asked coldly, making the boys leave you alone with Wainwright. That was when you got some proper heart-eyes again. - "Thank you for the gun and shield, it means much to me. I hope it's going to help in any way."

"Sure thing, miss. I hope that you will keep an eye on Hammerlock while I won't be there." - Wainwright smiled back at you and you simply nodded, making the promise sealed. You hoped that you won't have your ass blew or neck cut as soon as you get somewhere.

"Everyone ready?" - Athena asked the rest of the party, preparing to initiate the fast travel process. Everyone shut up when you walked to the machine first. Athena's hand on your arm stopped you from putting your palm there. - "Step aside and don't act like you know everything."

"What have I done to you? First, you shoot at me, then you tell me I'm acting like an asshole, let's just get done. I'm going to go first, you come after me. I can manage the jackasses on the other side." - You mumbled and pushed the palm off of you. Athena kept her eyes on you, but she stepped aside just as you looked on the others.

"Whatever happens on the other side, keep this asshole alive, because I'm not willing to have my head blown off my fucking body because hed die. Are we on the same wave here?" - You asked and when everyone nodded, you put your palm into the device. You didn't have too many chances to try Fast travel either - but boy oh boy, you preferred it when all the next travel devices you had were actual rockets.

You kinda forgot about the pull the machine had and about the small needles that the machinery stuck into your palm and forearm. You put your fingers together while the other looked at the machine pulling you in. Or that was how the others were seeing it - in reality, the machine was taking your DNA material from one place while it started recreating your body on the other side. It felt like proper tearing you apart.

When you gained consciousness in the final destination, you fell flat on your back; onto your whole fucking shotgun in its glory. You couldn't see for a fucking a step away from you, you didn't know what was happening - you only heard yourself screaming. - "Motherfucker! Is everyone on this fucking planet a psycho bitch?"

"Tina! Had you moved the Fast travel on the roof again?" - A tired, drunk voice asked someone. You heard a chuckle next to your head and someone had bowed down to you. It was a girl, who gripped your t-shirt and dragged you away since another of your friends started Fast travel.

"Because it's fun, Mordy! You should see this one! It was so cute when she fell on her back, I almost felt the spinal cords crackin', blood rushin', and bones flyin' out of her body!" - The lady yelled victoriously, having on a big smile. Without realizing, you scaredly pushed the gun into her face. The only thing she did was that she kicked it out of your palms.

"This one's reaaaally funny, Mordy, you should see her! She just pushed a revolver up ma face like she thinks that momma Tina is afraid of these child toys!" - She yelled at Mordy, which had probably saved your ass, because otherwise, Tina would've tied you up to a bomb, watching how high can your ass fly up into the sky. The man with the alcohol bottle came to you and put Tina's foot off of you. She was obviously offended by what he has done, but she chose just to put her forearms in front of her chest and to look at both of you with a furrow.

"That's the gal from Scooter, you psychotic ass." - Mordecai said to defend you, but that was all he could say before something just assaulted your face. You've had enough at that point. You were on the verge of completely shutting down mentally... And that wasn't flattering at all. Youve learned seconds after that the the thing was Talon, some birdy pet that obviously belonged to Mordecai.

You were saved - because at that moment both Janey and Athena fell flat on their backs too. - "See? That's what I mean, Mordy. They are little cutesy things just fallin' down from the motherhumpin' sky waitin' for me to grill them with some great sauce and eat them!" - Tina exclaimed and then she stopped, putting her hands on her hips. - "Why do I wanna eat cute stuff?"

"Fallin' from ten meters isn't cute at all!" - Janey huffed angrily, helping you on your feet. - "Yo guys need to better up your safety conditions or one day, there might die someone!" - She looked at both of them, checking up if you're alive - so, naturally, you shushed her off. You might have been out of breath, but you weren't dying. So far, so good.

"Okay, okay, miss rude temper problems, I'll put it somewhere on the ground so you people who can't handle a bit of fun won't die out of spine crack." - Tina rolled her eyes while Mordecai slowly approached you, both Janey and you, having a sorry look on his face. - "Since Brick left Boomtown to handle some other stuff, she's been like that. I swear that normally, she doesn't tell people she'll eat them the first time she sees them."

"Is fine, ma name's Janey and this gal is Y/N! Scooter has a thingy for her so she's kinda in the family business now!" - Janey explained happily and that was when Tina joined your conversation. She gripped your shoulders as both bandit boys fell down on their back, following each of you with being out of breath and almost dying. Before Tina could say something else, Ray was too quick with his word.

"THIS BITCH EMPTY. YEET!" - He yelled and from literal nowhere, Tina pulled of some kind of crazy Maliwan gun, pointing directly onto his freaking forehead. You furrowed, put your palms in front of yourself to clam her down a bit. - "He's with us and he cool, I swear, girl." - You mumbled, not realizing that you're standing directly under the Fast travel station spawning point. Tina rose her chin a bit, watching you standing there, then she smiled and put the Maliwan gun away.

"'ight, I believe you, Scooter's soon-to-be wedded wife. I love weddings! Mordy, tell her I love weddings! I love how everyone seems to be soooo happy until you show the bomb you got them for a present before it all blows up!" - She yelled maniacally. You wanted to defend yourself but at that moment, Scooters butt fell on you. You grunted, thinking something about killing someone, shooting in the air, or booming the whole fucking Boomtown. - "Look! Ya boyfriend is here! Oh, am I softenin' or is this extremely romantic?" - She bit her lip, leaning to look at you both. As soon as you were sure that Scooter is too alive, you basically threw him off your thighs.

This whole adventure was fucking you up mentally, not even speaking about your physical side. You wanted to sit down into the corner and cry. Once even Hammerlock made it there, you moved the Fast Travel station and started another part of your totally flawless plan - making your way to Athenas.