#hey if you like fanfic please listen to my podcast!

[angelyuji]

heyy guyss... how y'all doing.... anyway here are some elias thoughts sorry if these are ooc... i havent listened to tma in a month and im on episode 161...

tw // spoilers for tma, creepy boss bouchard, nothing too crazy actually which is new for me lol

im watching smallville and catching up on another podcast and also taking 3 summer classes.... what if i kms guys... jk ;)

also hey babe this is for u @soupyboiii

the only way to meet elias is if you work at the archives. so the very first time you meet him is at your job interview. he's not creepy in a pervy sort of way but creepy in a... horror movie kinda way lol you felt like he was staring into your soul but he was hot so you forgave him.

you sit patiently, waiting to be called. you needed the job, with your savings account running low and your degree being of no use, you’d be willing to get on your knees and beg for a job. ‘if im gonna beg, i hope he’s hot at least.’

“(y/n) (l/n)?” you look up to see him. ‘oh fuck, he is hot’ he tilts his head at you and you jump up.

“hi! mr. bouchard, right?” you reach out your hand to shake and he takes it. his hand was cold and you felt a chill go down your spine. he doesn’t move, keeping your hand in place. you feel an uncomfortable prickling on the back of your neck.

“follow me.” he smiles and lets go of your hand. you follow into his office. he gestures to a chair in front of his desk. once you were both settled in, he looks over your file and gives you a once-over. “what made you want to work here?”

‘crushing loans’ “honestly, i’ve always wanted to work at a library! it’s very peaceful and i love to be surrounded by books, so when i saw the job listing, i knew i had to apply.” you smile.

he hums, “would you want to work with people or be down in the archives?”

you pause to think, ‘i’d rather work with people than a dingy basement, i guess…’ “i’d rather work with people. i’ve had a lot of-”

he interrupts you, “i’m glad to hear. do you have any other questions?”

‘are you married? do you date younger people?’ “i can’t think of anything right now.” you smile and shrug, sheepishly. he gives you an unnerving smile and you can feel your smile falter.

“you’re perfect.”

you rarely see him after that interview and the few times you do see him, it'll be glimpses of him leaving his office to meet the archival team or back.

in my mind, the day that like really sets him forward on persuing you would be like a one-on-one performance review or smth like that (im definitely not taking this from a fanfic i started and never finished or posted)

he listens to you talk about how much you love the job and get into your head to actually see what you mean... and what you mean is "i wanna fuck this guy". that piques his interest so he asks you the million dollar question.

"would you like to work in the archives? i think they could really use your skills down there." elias stares you down.

"sorry, what?" you were surprised at the offer. you hadn't said anything about wanting to work there, happy and content with your currect position and paycheck.

"of course, you would get a raise and a couple of other benefits, but i would love to work more closely with you (y/n)." he stands and moves in front of his desk, leaning against the table.

'more... closely....' your thoughts run wild as you feel heat creep up your cheeks. "i'm not sure how i could help, mr. bouchard." you wring your hands in your lap. elias leans down to grab your hands, softly. you feel his breath on your neck as he leans to whisper in your ear.

"please, love, call me elias."

need him!!!!

he kinda reminds me of william afton like when i think of boss willy i think of elias

except boss willy afton creep factor leans more to pervert while elias creep factor leans more into mysterious boss who also raises the hair on the back of your neck yk? iykyk as they say

anyway thats all i can think of rn bye :)

[star-wars-radar]

Hey there! The quick and easy TLDR? I reblog fanworks every day and I love when people submit stuff I haven't seen. Under the cut is an FAQ (including instructions on how to submit fanworks or let me know if I reblogged stolen art). Please read before you send something! Here's links to the askbox and submit.

How does this work?

I track the tags for animations, coloring books, comics, commissions, cosplayers, dioramas, edits, icons, fanart, fanfic, fanmixes, fanvids, filk, gifs, merch, moodboards, podcasts, podfics, poetry, sculptures, and zines. When something new shows up in those tags, I add it to the queue!

Some fanworks aren't put in my tracked tags, or are posted to other sites, like AO3 or Instagram. You can submit links to them, and I'll add them to the queue with the rest. (Just a note: don't try to put them in the askbox! Links and media can only be submitted.)

If you know of an art form that's not mentioned here, I'd love to see it! Send me a link to its tag and I'll keep an eye out for new stuff.

Do you reblog XYZ?

Probably! If it's a fanwork, and it's related to Star Wars, I'll reblog it. Crossovers, fusions, AUs, translations, and non-English works are welcome. I reblog works that contain triggering content or are rated R/Mature/Explicit, and this is a proship blog, including master/padawan and clone/clone. Everything is tagged so it can be filtered out if you don't like it.

That means you're going to reblog some character/ship/trope/creator I don't like!

I don't give a shit.

But it's gross/immoral/hurts my feelings!

I still don't give a shit.

What's your tagging system?

Non-fanwork posts are tagged #admin talk and answered asks are tagged #ask. All fanworks are tagged with their type, as listed in the first question's answer. "#nsfw (violence)" and "#nsfw (sex)" are used for mature content. I tag triggers and am happy to expand my taglist, just send me an ask. Current trigger tags: abuse, death, flashing, sexual assault, and smoking.

Works are tagged with the creator's username. I tag the names of all the characters and relationships, and if a work is character-critical or part of a series. Relationships are tagged with character names in alphabetical order, using "&" for platonic and "/" for romantic. AUs are tagged with their type, and crossovers and fusions are tagged with their other fandom(s).

I also tag 'creature' for works with animals, 'droid' for works with droids, and 'ship' for works with spacecraft and vehicles. 'The Bad Batch', 'Jedi', and 'Rebel Alliance' are tagged for group-themed works. Original characters are tagged with their type: Chiss, clone, droid, Jedi, Mandalorian, Sith, Twi'lek, Wookiee, etc.

If a tag is missing or wrong, please let me know! I don't read or listen to everything I reblog, as I simply don't have the time or spoons. All written and audio works are tagged based on the OP's tags. Let me know the chapter (for written) or timestamp (for audio), and what should be tagged. Submit that with a link to my reblog.

How do I submit something?

First, please check the blog for everything tagged with that creator's name. It might already be here! If not, the rest of this answer will walk you through the submission process. Submit as much as you want!

There's a link at the top of this post to submit. You can also check beneath the blog's banner on mobile or desktop. To the right of the Ask link is a meatball menu (three dots in a row). Click or tap that, then 'Submit'. However you get to the submit page, you'll see this:

1 is the drop-down for post type. 2 is where tumblr will prompt you to put your name and email if you're not logged in. Do not put your real name. "N/A" or "nothing" will work for both fields. 3 is where you put a link to what you want to submit. You'll have to check the box by 4 (and do a captcha if you're not logged in) before hitting the Submit button.

Don't worry about providing the information that I tag with! I take the link and do all the formatting and tagging myself.

You might not see a work posted in the same day or week that you submitted it, due to the length of the queue. If you want to make sure that something gets shared, you can DM me or send an ask, to check if it's in the queue. Please don't resubmit unless I ask you to.

How do I tell you that you reblogged stolen/reposted/uncredited works?

Submit a link to what I reblogged with a link to the original artist's post. If you don't see the work removed in three days, feel free to follow up by sending a DM or ask. Please don't resubmit unless I ask you to.

I still have more questions/want to tell you something/I like the nuance poll option.

No problem! My askbox is open to whatever you want to share, and anon is enabled. I aim to check the blog at least daily so I can reply to things fairly quickly. Please only DM me if you're checking whether I saw your submitted post!

This is a cool blog!

Thanks, I think so too :) It's my hope that having a 'one stop shop' for fanworks will help creators reach a wider audience. The best way to support them - and me! - is to reblog the stuff you like. Especially with some enthusiastic tags!

[blue-grama]

A little Film/Jam requeim

Upon the news that these two are not planning any projects together in the future, I was pondering Thai actor pairings and why I liked this particular one. First let me say I'm very in favor of actors not getting joined at the hip forever -- I doubt that's why anyone gets into acting, and while I get the financial reasons this happens in Thai entertainment, I'm generally in agreement that it tends to limit creativity, since the brand often has to come before the story. My only gripe is that now they're off doing lakorns that will never get subbed in English and it's not fair and look, I need to see The Empress of Ayodhaya ok?? I don't think it's a bad thing to have actors with great chemistry appear together in multiple shows, however, and I wanna say that I think these two used that opportunity right. Look, we have Tian:

Utter cinammon roll, too pure for this world, total sweetheart. He's a little scared and a lot beaten down, but he still has a burning spark of respect for himself that he doesn't let extinguish. He spends 73% of this show in the throes of a mental breakdown but still manages to take control of his narrative in the end. It's actively insane that the murder glitter show has such fantastic characters.

And then you have Charn, who is...

... also beaten down by this world, but evil about it. It's all manipulation, manwhoring, and complicated smiles belaying his real feelings with this guy. Refreshingly, he only has to reform himself a little bit to get his happy ending.

Meanwhile, Jiu. Assassin, kind of a tsundere. Marshmallow center, obviously. I'll never be over how after he and Tian first had sex (under the influence of a beetle fungus, OBVIOUSLY), he got deeply hurt that Tian said it was a mistake and accused Tian of doing this to all the boys. Possibly my favorite Jiu moment. ANYWAY.

There isn't as much distance between Jiu and Tinn as there is between Tian and Charn (from what I've seen, Jam maybe doesn't have quite as much range as Film, or at least hasn't been asked to demonstrate it). But Tinn is a more open and straightforward character, the moral center of Laws of Attraction versus a guy who assassinates several people with scissors without remorse in Khun Chai.

Point is, we don't always get this with repeated actor pairings. A lot of the time, you have an underlying dynamic that comes through in all the pair's shows, and it can't wander too far from its origins - I was thinking about this specifically with regards to Only Friends after listening to this excellent debut of the Part 5 (of 4) podcast, which talks about the way Force's Top turned into a completely flat character, possibly because "interesting" would conflict with the whole True Love ForceBook dynamic that GMMTV needs to sell. An appealing dynamic can be great -- hey, I read fanfic, I get the joy of putting the same guy in situations -- but I really liked how Film and Jam went with/were given quite different characters in their two projects together. This could be a lakorn vs. BL thing, but it'd be cool to see more paired actors take on more disparate roles together!

My disappointment over no more shows from these two comes down to wishing I could see what else they might pull off. Jam as the rich jerk instead of Film? Both of them playing morally grey? It could have been fun.

Oh well; I'll just be over here lighting candles for English subs from One31, because at least this hot murderous royalty nonsense looks exquisite.

And if you've read this far, please feel free to drop me recs in the tags or comments of other pairs that have played really different roles or dynamics with each other. I love seeing actors show their range!

[iantimony]

BIG tuesday

i skipped last tuesday because i was working on a take-home exam and simply did not have the time nor the inclination, so: beefy tuesdaypost today!

listening: my brother recommended 'dead magic' by anna von hausswolff and boy what an album. gothic, punchy, very vibey. the kind of album you let wash over you like an ocean wave.

pulled 'mostly kosher' from my to-listen list. fun, funky, very jewish, good vibes. ikh hob dikh tsufil lib

i've continued to mainline borodin symphonies 1 & 2. idk they're just hitting right.

and the new pieces for the orchestra i'm in - very french this time round: debussy's fêtes: kinda spooky and ominous and also fluid in a fun way! lots of buildup that seems to resolve into nothingness. horn parts for this are pretty good, not too difficult but are definitely Heard. chabrier's españa: really bumpin horn parts. fun bouncy motifs. what's not to like.

pocasting-wise, i'm up to partizan 38. 10 episodes left!!! the home stretch!!!!! it's so good but things are definitely amping up in the end-of-fatt-season way.

i've also listened to my friend b's gotham tv show podcast 'jim gordon must die'. very good and funny. i laughed out loud at some of the episode 3 descriptions.

reading: i was stuck in Bad Airport Times this past saturday (flight delayed 3 hours, then sat for an hour on the tarmac, arrived at 10pm when i was originally supposed to arrive at like 630) so i blasted through all ~150k words of 'freefall' by Kunoichi21 and xoTsundoku. bog-standard mafia au, but with a fun little circus arts twist; fun background fengqing; i do not like that they made beefleaf wholesome. give me my toxic beefleaf god damn it. but otherwise it was a fun read, sappy romcom-style. the fic itself isn't quite done but it's in endgame. the author notes have peak fanfic culture energy of "hey guys! sorry i didn't update, i started nursing school and my dad died" bro .... ;___; goddamn. please take care of urselves

watching: we are almost done with kill la kill! last two eps!!! so tonight we're doing that and also watching last week's dunmeshi together.

friend and i finished comrade detective. incredible. no notes. so funny. we started 'endeavour' which is a detective morse prequel thing and goddd the british-isms, and also started serial experiments lain. i don't know what i was expecting but god it was not this. i literally thought this was a cute fun hacker mystery show in the energy of cowboy bebop. it is Not That. not even close. it's good though i'm enjoying it. currently staggering through life going uhhhhh like lain does in the first few eps.

playing: fallow. i am re-installing disco elysium on my computer though. ive been wondering if i should try to keep going on the save file from last year or if i should just start over because i barely got in there at all.

making: many things. pottery!! some good some not as good.

so this design came out SO nice but the underglaze is so gd streaky! i hate it !!! i don't think it's really fixable either, i tried the hairspray trick to put new solid glaze over top the inside so at least that would look less like shit but i could not get it to work. maybe sanding it down? idk. it's ugly. it was supposed to be a bright teal but the woman who runs the studio mixed the batch up wrong so it's like. a really drab gray and not in a fun or intentional way. idk.

some new bisque:

teacups came out! still mismatched but cute nonetheless! gonna do them in a sort of celadon-type color with white flowers to match the teapot that my SO has :)

i don't feel like adding more photos for these lol they're very boring. the pot for my mom came out fine i think. gonna go in with normal white glaze over top to paint in some trees or other botanical designs. i sponged the underglaze on so hopefully the final result won't be streaky. sponged red on my seder plate to hopefully accomplish the same thing. mugs came through the bisque with no issues but i didn't do anything fun with underglaze on one of them so no new pics of that, but the other i did this tree thing again:

i KNOW it'll be streaky as hell. i just know. so i'm considering how i want to do it. perhaps putting some slightly transparent green over the top of it all to meld it together? unsure.

some new stuff: made a citrus juicer, this was attempt number 2 and just barely got it to work, attempt 1 was a total disaster. also made another mug type object, hopefully it'll still be wet enough this weekend to slap a handle on.

two mugs with red clay, i really loved the lascaux mugs that jessica bartram put up for sale last year but i didnt snag one in time so i was like. fuck it. i will make my own. gonna let them dry to leather hard before going in with black underglaze.

i've been trying to draw again but. idk. i just feel very uninspired. i start drawing and it's like :| :| :|

eating: i was on my own food-wise for much of the last week because my roommate was babysitting for the rabbi, so i did not eat nearly as extravagantly as i normally do, LOL. i made a lo mein recipe that was kinda just a stir fry. this could have been my fault because i added a bunch of extra shit like bok choy and mushrooms. i also didn't use the correct type of noodle, and i didnt have oyster sauce so i used worcestershire, etc. many substitutions so it's probably not fair for me to say it was Just Fine. will have to try again at some later date actually following the recipe. herb and radish salad with feta and walnuts: delicious. 10/10. i tossed in some extra arugula and that was also good. and i made the tofu brussel sprouts tahini/hoisin sauce thing again because it's easy and tasty.

misc: visiting my grandma right now ...... entrenched in the ennui .............. spring break ........................

[liesonthefloordramatically]

A wild 2023 recap post appears!

Stuff I made this year:

Fiction: Nope. Work continues to consume me.  I DID write like 33k that maybe will be publicly accessible in the future, but who can say.

Playlists: I think the only two I remembered to share were Oleander (a playlist for my Wickedness character) and the vast and the void (what it says on the tin).

RPGs: Also a nope.

Knitting: Made a shawl!  And a hat, technically, that I forgot to take pictures of.

Other stuff: Taught 5 classes, 4 of which were new preps!  Did fieldwork in Japan for the first time since 2019! Gave an hour-long talk in Japanese!  Presented on two conference panels!  Finished two academic book reviews! Survived somehow!  The period between August and December sort of doesn’t exist in my memory?  I was doing things but almost all of those things were work, so. The isolation has been wearing on me, but with the combination of A. not having any time to do anything other than work and B. for Various Reasons questioning whether I want to stay at this job, it's been really hard to build local community. I'm going to try to work on that next year, but also I'm going to have two new preps again in the fall and one of my spring classes is already overenrolled, so who knows how effective that'll be.

Media I enjoyed this year:

Books: I read 46 books this year apparently!  Top picks in no particular order: The Singing Hills Cycle (embarrassingly my jam), The Southern Reach Trilogy (shocking that it took me this long to read this), My Own Devices (even MORE shocking that it took me this long to read this), Imperial Radch (so AGGRESSIVELY my jam), She Who Became the Sun (this was a hilarious accompaniment to one of my fall classes), Camp Damascus (read this on a plane back from Japan which was An Experience), The Tale That Twines (loved the first book; the second book is even better), System Collapse (yeah, no one is surprised that I loved this).

TTRPG: Wickedness!  This was the only new TTRPG I played this year, but it was really good.

Video games: Mask of the Rose and Saltsea Chronicles, both of which I want to/should poke at more. Special nod to 13 Sentinels which we enjoyed 90% of a lot.

Manga/comics: I think the only thing I read was The JOJOLands?

Fanfic: I didn’t actually wind up reading that much fanfic this year again, in part because I was reading so many books.  A few picks, in no particular order: The Gardener (CR C2), Keys to the Castle (CR C2), Whistle Song (CR C2), pieces of (you) me (CR C2), Descriptions of a River Flowing (CR C2), Slip the Blindfold (CR C2), Heart to Heart (JJBA: JJL--PLEASE read this if you care about JJL at all), riverside beatitudes (JJBA: SDC), Fully formed, ready to run (ExU: Calamity).  Honorable mention to Asking for More (Stranger of Paradise), which is a WIP but made me laugh so hard I hit myself in the face with my phone.

Films: I actually watched like eight movies this year!  All but two of the new ones on a plane, to be fair, but.  Top picks: Spider-man: Across the Spider-verse and Shoplifters (『万引き家族』).  Honorary mention to Suzume.

TV: Finally finished Stone Ocean!  It was good!  Rowan and I are also like halfway through catching up on TGCF and it is also very good.

Podcasts:  Continued to listen to way too many of these.  Top picks: The Silt Verses, Trice Forgotten, Within the Wires (hey can we talk about the newest season? truly wild), and Re: Dracula.  Honorable mentions to The Evaporated: Gone with the Gods, 『なんかIWAKAN！』 (WHICH IS TRAGICALLY ENDING???? where am I supposed to get my chaotic Japanese gender and sexuality discussion now :(((((), Cry Havoc! Ask Questions Later, Critical Role, and Worlds Beyond Number.

Music: Dessa's Bury the Lede was excellent, of course.  I also apparently listened to Maisie Peters' The Good Witch a lot (it was in my grading rotation in October). And then this past month there's been a lot of Hozier's Unreal Unearth. But a lot of my listening this year was either albums on the bus (rotating mainly between Quiet Company’s We Are All Where We Belong, Bury the Lede, yorushika’s entire discography that I can purchase, Wednesday Campanella, and various soundtracks) or putting something on loop and falling into a fugue state.  Apparently my top song of the year on Spotify was “Square One,” which I think I put on looping while grading in the spring.  My Spotify top songs list was even more inexplicable than usual this year.

Anyway, あけおめ！！！ 良いお年を！！！ (or else!!!!)

[burnthatbridge]

Hey as the 911dispatch queen, I am wondering if you can educate me on how podcasts work on spotify - is it free to create podcasts there? I'm an avid consumer of audio fics (yours included thank you ily - just finished breathe and i hope you consider doing more!!!). I download a bunch from ao3 and then they go to my local library on spotify and that's how i listen. The only issue I have is - spotify doesn't keep your place like it does for podcasts. So when you pick up to listen again you have to try and remember what hour/minute you were at 🤣 have you ever considered uploading your audio fics to spotify as a podcast ? Or is there a reason you wouldn't do this? (Not sure how copyright laws work there etc). Or alternatively, have you figured a better way to listen to audio fics to avoid this problem? I'm a bit of a novice 🙈 (also I am an Android user and download on mobile if that is at all relevant). Thankyou! 💖

Hello 😊

Yes, it's free to create a podcast through Spotify's service (previously called Anchor, now Spotify for Podcasters). There are other free services too and paid ones, but I use Spotify's. But regardless of what service you use, you can get the podcast listed on Spotify and other podcast apps.

I know some podcasts do exist that read fanfic but it's not something I ever considered doing with my podfic. I also tend to listen to shorter podfic so I haven't really hit the issue of my place not being saved, so I'm not much help on that 😅 I do know that you can save podfic in the audiobook file format so it might be possible to get them into an audiobook app? And I assume those apps would save your place? But I don't actually know, sorry!

If anyone else does know please chime in with any advice you have for anon.

[vgilantee]

Spiral Galaxy for Scream please!

I’m a 21 year old girl (Pronouns She/Her) and I’m straight. I’m a huge horror nerd, like watching podcasts about the genre and it’s history level nerd. I love writing as well, and I have about 1,000,000,000 random fanfics in notebooks and on my computer for so many different fandoms. I’m a very outgoing person (especially when I’m with my friends/family) and imho have amazing music taste and make tons of playlists for characters and movies too. I have 4 siblings and a dog named Scooby who looks like the real life Scooby Doo. Finally, and this is so random, but I love pretty (aka fluffy, long, and/or curly) hair on guys just gotta say. 😌

well that final little "wink wink nudge nudge" hint aside, i'll be totally honest, i was thinking ethan anyway haha

you definitely watch horror movies together, and you probably lie on the living room floor listening to horror podcasts and things (much to the chagrin of chad and other roomies). would probably recommend youtubers who do horror breakdowns (like "hey have you watched any of the wendigoon iceberg videos on true crime and horror and such?" and that totally isn't a plug from author char /s)

ethan is a more introverted person, but i think he will happily let you bring him out more, the perfect balance of an extrovert seeing an introvert and going "that one". you bring him out of his shell more.

although ethan feels like an "everything goes in one playlist and jesus takes the wheel" kind of guy, he is always asking to see and hear your character and movie playlists because he may not have the capacity to make the playlists, but he loves listening to them and talking to you about songs that you've chosen and why.

[fandom-oldpodcast]

About the Podcast

Fandom Old is meant to be a fun, conversational podcast about fandom from the perspective of folks who’ve been here a while (or from folks who feel like old fannish souls). We’ll rant, trade wisdom, and reminisce about times gone by.

I’m personally a history nerd, so I’m especially interested in uncovering and recording fandom history as experienced by you (and really any fan in any historical fannish spaces, especially ones I didn’t experience personally because of my age, identity, or chosen fandoms). Fans (and fandom) are endlessly interesting to me, and I’d like to capture and share the parts that might have been forgotten or overlooked.

Main Themes / Topics

Below is a non-exhaustive list of topics I and others have suggested for the main theme of an episode. If you’d like to be a guest to talk about one (or more!) of these topics (or about something not listed here), please let me know so I can send you info!

Aside from the first topic, these are in no specific order:

What does it mean to be Fandom Old? (Episode 1)

Dana Scully, MSR vs. No Romo Usenet Wars, Chris Carter is Trash

The Gossamer Archive

Webrings (AKA The Era of Chaotic Fandom)

Portmanteau Ship Names

Our Fandom Lexicon / Our Favorite Fannish Terms

Character/Reader POV fics

Mary Sues

“Problematic” ships / fandom / purity culture

Tumblr Dashcon 2014 (and the Ball Pit)

Fanfiction.net

Fan-written Alternate Seasons

LiveJournal

MsScribe Saga

Fanfic Disclaimers (and why we don’t need them anymore, AKA AO3 rocks)

Anne Rice, Diana Gabaldon, and The Era of Vindictive Canon Owners

How discovering a fandom real-time v later changes understanding of canon

ALSO: please spread the word! I obviously have my fannish spaces here and on Twitter, but I'd love to chat with people outside those bubbles, especially folks that have been around fandom for a while and have stories to tell.

EDITED TO ADD:

Hey y’all — especially to the trans men who’ve rightly commented on this — I need to apologize to you. The original post had a screenshot of the convo that spurred the idea for the podcast in my group chat in which I mentioned just women and non-binary folks.

I wanted to share where the idea came from, and I didn’t consider that it would exclude folks who I definitely don’t want to exclude. I’ve removed the screenshot. Thank you very much for pointing this out, although I’m very sorry you had to.

I hope you’ll forgive my thoughtlessness — I understand it didn’t feel good to see that and I really regret that I caused those feelings, because I absolutely welcome you.

To be absolutely clear: I’d love for all genders to be guests or listeners (or to contribute however you like)!

[feral4austinbutler]

infidelities (Austin Butler x OC)

Summary: Isabel Baker takes flight on her first solo trip to Ireland for her 21st birthday. On her trip she runs into Austin Butler, who would turn her entire world on its head, making her question if she would ruin her whole life for him or would let what happened in Ireland, stay in Ireland.

Warnings: Swearing, Cheating, age gap, will contain smut in future chapters, (smut will be indicated by the chapter head in italics), Minors DNI.

Also this is my first fanfic in a WHILE, like i’m talking 8 years, so please be gentle. my writing grammar and like punctuation is also very much lacking but oh well haha.

Chapter 1

It was a cool and crisp April morning, I wake up to my 5:00am alarm, immediately turning it off and start to scroll through my phone. I look at the date and nearly jump for joy. The day had finally arrived, I was about to embark on my first solo trip all the way to Ireland. I got out of bed and immediately panicked, remembering I had not packed half of my things yet and I had to be at the airport very soon. I started frantically packing the last of my things into my carry-on when my fiancé, Shawn, came up behind me from the bathroom, as he was already awake and getting ready for work, and put his arms around my waist and squeezed me tight into his chest.

“I am going to miss you so much, I think it might kill me.” He said with face tucked into the nape of neck.

“Babe, I am going to be gone for two weeks! I think you’ll manage.” I turned to look at him, giggling as I gazed into his eyes.

Do not be fooled, we have been going to a difficult time ever since we got engaged a few months prior. I’m not sure what happened but it’s like all the passion had fizzled out. No more dates, no more conversations to indulge in, no more sex, nothing. I tried my hardest to spark something back with us, but it was like that stuff didn’t matter to him anymore as soon as he put that ring on my finger. I try wand talk about my day or things that would interest me and I would always get a one worded response in return. I was hoping this time apart would make us want each other again. What’s that saying? Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I guess we’ll see about that.

I wiggle out of Shawn’s grasp and cross the room to get my last few pairs of jeans from inside my dresser. I folded them up neatly, put into my bag, and zipped it shut. I was officially all packed and ready to go.

“Alright, that was the last of it. I’m all ready.” I say looking down at my luggage. This was it. The last time I would see Shawn for two weeks. I look up at him and feel relief. That’s not how someone should feel when they look up at the person they are potentially going to spend the rest of their life with, right? I keep trying to convince myself that this trip will do us both some good. I wanna to fall in love with him all over again. Get that passion back.

“Isabel, do you want me to walk down to the train station with you?” Shawn asked, bringing me back from thoughts.

“No Shawn that’s ok, it’s right down the street, I think I can manage.” I smile sweetly up at him, even though in my head I’m weirdly annoyed he would even ask in the first place.

“Ok,” He said as he grabbed my hands and place them against his lips, “I love you and I hope you have a great trip. Text or call me if you need anything.”

“I will, I promise.” I say as I take my hands back. With that being said, I give him a small kiss on the lips, put on my jacket and shoes, grab my things and with one final exchange of “I love you’s”, I was out the door and down the street.

The train ride went by fast as I was captivated with staring out the window and listening to my true-crime podcast that was playing in my ears. Maybe not the best thing to listen to since it was still dark out and I’m a woman, all alone, on a train, but hey I’m an addict, what can I say.

I hop off at my stop and since I already had my boarding pass on my phone and have no bags to check, I head straight to the security line. Since it was so early security wasn’t too terrible and I got out in record time. “I am truly a pro at this” I thought to myself. I had been on many trips before but all had been with my mom, we had traveled an awful lot while I was in high school. If it wasn’t for those experiences, I definitely wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing now, so shout out mom.

I got to my gate as soon as the front desk called that they would now begin boarding. Thank the lord, I had just made it by the skin of my teeth. The women calls my group and I line up behind the others, scan my phone and walk in. My heart was racing so fast I thought it might jump out of my chest. I couldn’t believe that I actually made this happen. I had been planning and saving for this for months and here I am about to take off on my first solo adventure. I was so proud of myself and everything I had accomplished to even get to this point. I was buzzing. I was ecstatic. This trip was going to help me find the answers I had been needing. Ever since Shawn and I got engaged, I felt like I was in limbo. Don’t get me wrong, I love Shawn. Hell, getting engaged was mainly MY idea. I just couldn’t help but feel like I was just going through the motions everyday. Getting up, going to work, coming home to a fiancé that I did love, very dearly, but it felt like that love was mainly out of convenience because we lived together, we had pets together and I didn’t want to uproot my whole life and leave him. I can’t explain it but everything was so mundane to me now. This trip is what was going to get me out of my funk. I can’t explain it but I had a gut feeling that this trip was somehow going to change the trajectory of my life. For worse or for better, who knew?

One layover and 9 1/2 hours later, we finally landed in Dublin. I was already wide awake, too excited to sleep for the second half of my flight. I gathered my things from the overhead bins and waited patiently behind everyone in line, eager to stretch my legs and to finally get off this damn plane. The line started to move and I made my way off the plane. As my foot hits the floor of the airport, I let out a sigh of relief. I loved traveling but god damn it’ll be too soon when I have to fly again.

As I step out of the airport doors and my surroundings becoming apparent to me. The cold chill of the late afternoon Irish air, the orange and pink sun that had just started to set, the beautiful buildings and the many crowds of people filling the streets. I smiled to myself and start to make my way to my hotel. Remembering that I had absolutely no idea where I was going, I looked down at my phone to put in the walking directions into google maps. As I finish typing in the address and siri starts to tell me where to go, I ram straight into a hard chest and nearly fall backwards onto the brick street. As I hold out my arm out behind me, ready to brace myself, two strong arms fly around me and pull me back up.

“Holy shit dude! You should really watch where you’re going!” I say prying his arms off of me. I angrily put my phone in my pocket and straighten myself out. It really should’ve been me paying attention but I was so all over the place after the initial hit, I immediately placed all the blame on this random stranger.

“Wow, I am so sorry. I guess we both weren’t looking where we were going.” A deep and sultry voice says from above me. That voice. It almost sounds too familiar. I stop straightening out my jacket to look up to the owner of the voice and as soon as we lock eyes, my jaw almost hits the floor and heat begins to rise to my cheeks.

As I stare up at him in amazement, I cannot believe I just literally ran into Austin Butler. He is even more beautiful and delicious in person. I try and bring myself back into the present moment. I try but yet ultimately fail until he waves his hand in front of my face.

“Hello? I hope I didn’t rattle you around too much, did I?” He says with a smile and a small chuckle.

“Oh! Um I-I, no you didn’t haha.” I say absolutely flustered and embarrassed, wiping my sweaty hands down my jeans.

He nods and puts his hands in his jacket pockets, “Well, are you ok?”

“Me? Oh yeah, totally fine. Don’t worry about me.” I shake my head and turn around to grab my suitcase. I take a deep breath, before turning back around, “Well, you probably have places to be so I’ll leave you to it. Goodbye.” As I start to make my way down the street, a hand shoots out in front of me, stopping me dead in my tracks.

“Wait! Don’t run off just yet, I didn’t even get your name.” He says as he stands in front of me and brings a hand up to caress his jaw line.

“Oh! Well, my name is Isabel.” I smile and move my suit case to my other hand so I can put my hand out for him to shake.

“Hello Isabel, my name is Austin.” He says lifting his eyebrows and bringing his hand up to hold mine in a firm handshake. Our hands linger together for a few seconds too long as we stare at each other. I clear my throat almost as a diversion for me to able to take my hand back.

“Well Austin, it was lovely to run into you, literally. I should probably get going now.” I say and look up at him.

He looks back down at me and says, “At least let me walk you to wherever you’re going. Wouldn’t want a pretty thing like you to run into another stranger.”

I feel myself shift uncomfortably under his gaze. I can’t believe he just said that to me. “Listen that sounds great and all but I listen to a lot of true crime and I don’t think letting a stranger know where I’m staying is in my best interest.”

“That’s valid.” He says throwing his hands up in defense. “From the looks of it your just getting in,” He says motioning to my suitcase, “Can I ask how long you’ll be in Ireland for?”

“Two weeks.” I crinkle my eyebrows together, “Why? Who wants to know?”

“Give me your phone.” He says holding out his hand.

“Bossy, bossy. Ok fine, I’ll bite.” My sudden confidence coming out of nowhere. I go into my pocket to grab my phone and hand it over to him but I leave my palm out as a signal for him to hurry.

He types quickly and place it back into my palm and folds my fingers over the phone. My breath hitches at the contact which I’m sure he notices.

“There, now you have my number. If you what to get together while you’re here, just shoot me a text and I will meet you at the drop of a hat.” He winks as he turns around and walks away.

I stay standing in the middle of the street, baffled at what just happened. I go to open my phone and scramble to find his contact, to my surprise he had already texted himself so that now we both have each other’s number. Cheeky bastard.

I take a deep breath and gather myself to finish the walk to my hotel. I get to the front door, push it open, and walk up to the front desk to check in. As I’m doing so, I feel my phone buzz twice in my pocket. I pull it out to see who it could be. Low and behold, it’s Austin.

I just can’t seem to get you off my mind.

We should meet up tonight.

His two messages send the same red hot heat up to my cheeks. My adrenaline pulsing through my veins. If I’m going to spend more time with him, I gotta get this blushing under control.

Spend more time with him. What am I thinking! I’m engaged. I can’t spend time with an attractive man in a foreign country. This is not what I am here to do. Another buzz brings me back and I look down at my phone again

I can see that you’re reading my messages, dove.

Dove. God damn it. How could I say no to that. Maybe I should go tonight, maybe nothing will happen, maybe we will forget about each other and we will both move on. I send him a message back since I have a feeling if I don’t he will blow up my phone until he gets a response.

Yes austin. I see your messages. I’m not sure if I should tonight. Maybe I should should just stay in and unpack.

Izzy, I wasn’t really asking. Meet me at The Temple Bar Pub in one hour. I’ll see you then xx.

An hour?? Are you kidding me. I was so immersed in my text conversation, I hadn’t even noticed the man at the front desk had come back with my key. I look up from phone phone, grab it from him and mumble a quick “Thank you”. I make a beeline towards the elevator. I have one hour to make myself over for Austin Butler, I need every second I can get.

[verai-marcel]

Forever and Always (RDR2 Fanfic, Arthur x F!Reader)

Summary: You reminisce about your life and have a sweet moment with your family.

Author’s Notes: I was listening to a podcast about wedding dress design and got inspired.

Tags: pure fluff, Arthur x F!Reader

Word Count: 1644

AO3 Link is right here, darlin’.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Twenty-five years.

A quarter of a century.

Funny how time flies, and all of a sudden you're nearly fifty years old. Looking back, you can see the crazy turn of events in your life like some kind of movie, detached and yet feeling every single emotion as if you were there in that moment.

***

Fresh out of college, you remembered the night you found your partner sleeping with your roommate. The white hot rage and cold grip of disbelief sent you fleeing into the rain, into the streets, into a bar in the middle of the night. As you meandered between sadness and anger, a bartender had given you a cold glass of orange juice, soda water, and a bit of ice, with a shot of grenadine.

"Here ya go, sweetheart. On the house."

You had looked up and drowned in eyes the color of volcanic springs, finding the same warmth and comfort in his kind gaze. Taking a cautious sip of the drink, you found it to be the perfect drink, not too sweet, and took your time savoring it.

"What brings you here tonight?" he had asked.

After a moment of silence, he held up his hand. "You don't need to tell me if you don't want to."

He leaned in close. "But I'm happy to listen, whenever yer ready."

His sweet smile undid you, and you poured out your heart. He seemed to nod along with your story, as a stranger would, but there was a steadily growing fire in his eyes. After a while, after a few interruptions from other customers ordering drinks, you had finished venting, nursing the last of your drink and debating what your next move should be.

"Alright folks, last call!" the bartender shouted. A few people came up and got one last drink before he started to clean up.

"Well, thank you for listening to me," you said, dropping a tip on the bar. "I really appreciate it."

"I didn't catch yer name."

You told him.

He smiled. "I'm Arthur. Could… could ya wait a bit? I'll walk you home."

You slumped. "I don't want to go home."

Arthur raised an eyebrow at you. "Where were you goin' to go, then?"

You shrugged. "Walk around until sunrise, I guess. Not feeling sleepy."

He tilted his head as he observed you. After a few moments, he shook his head. "If you don't mind, you can come sleep on my couch. You need some rest, darlin'."

"Um…" As sweet as he was, you had just met him.

Arthur pulled out a pen and scribbled something on the back of a bar coaster before giving it to you. "Here's my address. You send it to someone you trust, so they know where you are."

Touched by his offer and his understanding of your hesitation, you agreed. You texted his address to your best friend who lived a city away and told her that you were staying with a new friend and that you'd call her in the morning and tell her everything.

Then you waited until Arthur was done with his shift and followed him home.

***

That was years ago. He had helped you deal with the whole situation with your ex-significant other and ex-roommate. He stood outside as backup while you confronted the two of them and told them that you were leaving. Then you found yourself temporarily moving in with Arthur, bunking on his sleeper sofa for a couple of weeks while you searched for another place to live.

And then you slept in his bed. And your temporary move became permanent.

Life continued. You slept together, in the adult sense of the term. You got pregnant. You dated. You gave birth. He proposed. You got married. He finished college. You became the breadwinner while he worked part time and took care of your daughter.

Nothing went in the 'normal' order of things, but what was normal, anyway?

Looking at the photos of your wonderful daughter when she was a small child, you smiled as you heard the doorbell ring.

"Hey Mom!"

"Hi Avery!" You greeted her with a warm hug. She was twenty-three now, working hard during her first year out of college. You got to see her a couple times a month, and each visit made you smile, no matter how grumpy she might be.

Today the two of you were just hanging out, having tea and going through some of the old boxes in the attic, when she pulled out an old scrapbook.

"Wow, didn't know you did scrapbooking."

"I didn't, I only made one for my wedding."

Together the two of you looked through your silly notes and hand picked photos, telling her the story behind each one, and who each person was.

"Do you still have your wedding dress?" she asked after seeing the photos of you and Arthur, dressed up in a tuxedo that barely fit his broad shoulders.

"I do, somewhere."

After some time searching, you found it, brushed it off, and held it up to your body. "I don't think it'll fit, I've gotten a bit wider since I wore it."

"C'mon Mom, just try it!"

Smiling, the two of you went to your bedroom and you managed to shove yourself mostly into the dress. Except for the shoulders.

"I've gotten more buff," you joked as you pulled the dress off yourself. "You try it."

Avery took the dress, stared at it for a moment, and with your help, pulled it on. It looked like it fit, until she moved her arms.

The sound of a seam ripping made you both pause.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry–"

You patted her shoulder. "It's fine, sweetie. It's just a dress, it can be fixed. And you look beautiful in it."

Your daughter grinned, and you could see Arthur's eyes and smile on her face.

After she spun around a few times, she took it off and handed it back to you. Out of curiosity, you checked which seams had torn.

"It might fit you now," Avery joked.

"Sure, why not?"

You pulled it back on, and sure enough, the seams that had torn were the very ones stopping you from fitting your thicker arms through. You turned around and looked in the mirror. Twirling around a bit, you suddenly felt young again, remembering the first time you had tried this dress. Your two closest friends had been by your side, encouraging you to buy the dress because you were so pleased with it.

And you remembered the last time you had worn this dress, walking down the aisle with Arthur, hand in hand, the two of you grinning at each other as if there was nothing else in the world, just the two of you, happily in love.

"Let's take some photos outside!" Avery suggested, her eyes lighting up with enthusiasm.

Smiling at your daughter, you walked through your house and out to the small backyard that Arthur lovingly cared for, with a small waterfall and herb garden.

He was there, kneeling in the dirt, planting some new basil plants. He turned around at the sound of the back door opening.

"What're you two doin'–"

Arthur's words stopped abruptly as his jaw dropped. He hadn't seen you in that dress since the wedding, and for him, time stopped and all he saw was his beautiful lady, dressed in white, smiling like a goddess.

He quickly washed his hands with the garden hose, wiped them on his jeans, and came towards you.

"Beautiful, just like an angel," he said in awe.

You went to him, holding your hands out to him. He took them and brought them close to his heart before lifting your hands to his lips and kissing your fingers oh so so tenderly.

"Amazin', I feel the same as I did on our weddin' day, seein' you like this."

"I'm a little wider now…"

"That don't matter none," he said, leaning closer to you. His forehead touched yours and he looked into your eyes. "Yer always lovely."

"Awww!"

Avery's exclamation brought the two of you back to reality. She had her phone out and had been taking photos of the two of you, a giant grin on her face.

"I'll send these to you later, after I touch them up a bit," she said. "I, uh, got an errand to run. Bye Dad, bye Mom, I'll catch you later!"

She left, giving you a conspiratorial wink. You looked back at Arthur to find that his eyes hadn't left you for a single moment.

He was in his late fifties now, streaks of grey in his hair, giving him a sophisticated appearance. He smiled much more these days, finding happiness in tending his small garden and being outside in the sunlight. He was still strong, still broad shouldered, but he had filled out a little from your delicious home cooked meals.

And he still looked at you like you were his entire world.

"Should we go inside?" you asked with a mischievous smirk.

"I got mud on me," he said, although he didn't resist when you pulled him into the house.

"I'll get you all clean," you said. "Then we can get dirty."

"Darlin'," he said as if he was chastising you, yet he was chuckling softly as he let you lead the way.

***

That night, looking at the photos Avery had emailed, you realized how the two of you appeared, so deep in love. You both looked younger in her photos, and you wondered if it was because of the photo editing.

Showing Arthur, he just smiled and kissed your cheek, his whiskers scraping your skin lightly as he nuzzled you.

"See? Told you my feelin's fer you would never change." He pulled you into his arms and held you close.

"You'll always be my shinin' star."

--------------------

End Notes: I started with a small idea and it kinda got longer. Oops.

[entamewitchlulu]

Hey just asking tips on how making a good fan fiction or just a story in general Im what really on your opinion makes a good yugioh plot and whole story just curious of your prospective

Honestly the best advice I can tell you is 1) write a lot and 2) read a lot.

Fanfiction is really no different than writing anything else, except that you already have a cast of characters and a setting to work with however you'd like. So a lot of the rules for good fic writing are the same as the ones for good writing in general.

If you want to write good stories, you have to read a lot of good stories, and learn from them. Just like actors should watch plays, and programmers should play games, to figure out what works for them and what doesn't, you should read as much as you can, as widely as you can. Read fanfiction, read published books, read news articles and blog posts, read short stories, read long series, listen to podcasts, play D&D, roleplay, read classics, read graphic novels, read romance novels, play video games and pay attention to their stories. Any time you spend familiarizing yourself with storytelling is time well spent towards becoming a writer.

More than just reading, though, you should also take at least a few minutes to analyze what you read. I know to a lot of people that's gonna sound awful, like English class or something, but it doesn't have to be. Again, I'm not telling you to annotate everything you read. What I am saying is that if something in a story really strikes you, just stop for a minute. Think about it, try to think about why you like it. Did you like the vivid imagery of the line? Was it a really good metaphor? Did it do something really good to establish a character or a plot twist? You don't have to write a paper about it, but take a second just to think about it. Maybe keep a notebook where you write down your favorite quotes from the stories you read. In this way, things like overanalyzing fiction that we do all the time here on Tumblr is actually really helpful, because it's helping you dig into characters, into plot ideas and concepts, and learn from them.

And then the final step is really...I mean, you can't really get out of this one. You have to write a lot. You have to just start writing.

I read someone say once that your first million words is just practice. So if it helps you to think about it that way, please do. You don't have to write something earth shatteringly good your first try. If you're too scared of writing poorly, you'll never write at all. So write. Write bad stuff until the good stuff comes out. Write terrible poetry, write clunky dialogue, write too-long descriptions. You don't have to share any of it, but I do recommend that you keep it, so that you can keep track of what kind of a writer you've been.

Write things that are fun for you, even if you think they might be cliche, or silly. Write self-insert fanfic, write Mary Sues, write all sorts of things. Find a book about writing at the library and do some writing exercises. Write a journal. If something is too boring for you to write right now, then just skip it. Yes you can, even if you're a linear person (I am too, but forcing myself to skip scenes that aren't working and go back to them was the greatest thing I ever did for myself as a writer). Share only what you want to share.

If writing is something you want to do as a hobby, then you don't have to go any further than this. You can have a rich, fulfilling writing life just by doing those two things: reading and writing.

If you're really serious about writing, though, you might want to take a step forward and get some constructive critique. This can be in the form of a professional writing class or workshop, a close group of friends who proofread each other's work, or a family member you give your story to so they can look it over. Taking critique can be extremely hard, and that's okay. I fully admit that I left some workshops with my teachers in college and went out to the college green to cry. So if you want critique, look for: someone you trust to be honest with you, but not cruel, who is willing to meet you where you are and understand what you're trying to do with the story, and what will help you make it the best it can be, not what they think it should be. Then when you get critique, take a deep breath, examine it, and really think about if it makes sense for your work or not. Sometimes it doesn't, and that's okay. You can discard it. Sometimes it does make sense, and it feels bad to cut something you liked, but it makes the story better. That's okay too.

But honestly, critique is a whole other ball game, so maybe I'll save that for another post. I've already rambled on for quite a bit.

Really, in the end, the tl;dr is that writing a fanfiction is the same as anything else. It's about putting in the work, and finding what makes you happy to create. I can't tell you what plot to come up with, or what's going to resonate with you. I can suggest checking out some books on writing and outlining from a variety of sources (Save the Cat is a favorite of mine, but there's some very valid criticism of it as a system, so it's not for everyone's writing style). But I can't write the story that's all yours. You have stories in you and if you want to bring them to life, you can do it! I send you all the support and vibes in the world.

That was really long! I hope something of it was useful to you. If you have any other questions, I can always do my best to answer them. But in the end, it's up to you! Like all creative pursuits, writing is going to be very personal to you. There is no one right way to do it. So go out and just start doing it. You're ready now, even if you don't think you are.

[bartletslesbians]

🤗 and 🧐 for the ask game please <3

(In response to this ask game!)

ohh these are fun, thank you!

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

So this is gonna sound cliche as all hell, I know, but honestly? Have fun, don't worry too much. If you enjoy writing it, you're on the right track. I started writing fanfiction when I was 11, and it was bad. Like, I was writing ezria (yes, the student/teacher from pretty little liars that was all the rage in the early 2010s) road trip fic on wattpad. I moved on to writing drarry songfic (one of them, I admit, even based on Cascada songs) when I was 13.

Were those fics good in any measurable way? Absolutely fucking not. They were badly written and extremely self-indulgent fics written by a kid who barely understood English grammar. But damn I had a blast writing them, I felt so proud of them, and people liked them. (Were those people most likely other eleven year olds with daddy issues and poor taste? yes, absolutely. but hey, know your audience)

You'll learn to write better in time, you'll have better ideas and improve your skills and look back on fic you wrote two years ago thinking "I could do that so much better today". You're going to write fic you'll never feel like publishing, you're going to quietly orphan or delete fic you published when you just started out because you don't like it anymore.

Just have fun. This is a hobby, there's no rules besides not being a dick. Write whatever the fuck you want to write and don't care whether it's cringey, cliche, or 'weird'. Enjoy yourself, remember you're just here to have a good time with your hobby, and don't put more pressure on yourself than that.

That, and engage with other writers. Find a little community of them, talk about your writing with others. That also helps with the fun part!

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

This fully depends on the story and the answer ranges from "not a single thing" to "listening to podcasts with more information as we speak". It just depends on how much I care to get the information correct. I don't often write things that require much in-depth research, and a lot of the time I'm satisfied with "they have magic, they can make this work the way I want it to work". I'll google broad historical topics if it comes up I don't really care to get all the specifics correct. Generally it'll be passing mentions, and I don't care to spend my time on it.

On the other side of this, I can get lost in research for hours at a time instead of writing. I'm currently planning out a way-out-of-hand BDSM AU for Narcissa, and since this is a topic I find very interesting to begin with, I'm deep diving. I'm reading blogs, I'm watching youtube videos, I'm listening to podcasts, I'm messing up my search history beyond repair. I wanna get this right, though I'm making a few artistic choices here and there to make things easier on myself (but still, I know how it should be done, so it's a conscious decision), so it's worth it to me to spend the time learning everything I can.

That is also another reason I don't often bother with research. Once I start, I find it very hard to stop and I'll just end up not writing a word.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

OK but how are people actually productive and able to finish writing fics? Like how? I have this fic that I wrote and uploaded only one chapter and whenever Im abt to sleep it haunts me and I feel bad for not updating. But my brain is a mess and I just keep consuming fics without finishing what I started. I know where I'm going with the fic but I'm too lazy to put it down onto words. Any advice would be greatly appreciated and I'm grateful for it. I have good ideas but I'm too lazy to start 😔😔

Hey Nonny *hugs*

Ugh, I don’t have the SAME experience, but I do this A LOT with asks I get... I have tabs open for references for asks from MONTHS ago and every day I feel worse and worse about it the longer I don’t answer them. So yeah. I really want to, but sometimes the motivation nor energy exists to do it, and let me tell you Nonny, THAT’S OKAY and NOT WORTH BEATING YOURSELF UP OVER. Honestly Nonny, no one who genuinely cares about the author over the story will be upset at how long you’re taking on a story. I’ve seen fics finish their story like 4 or 5 years later. People still love them, and people still respect the author. 

THAT ALL SAID, @jbaillier has a TONNE of writing advice over here on their Ao3, so you can check that out for some tips about pretty much everything. 

My personal advice to how I get back on task: 

Be in the right mindset, and don’t force yourself to do it if you just mentally CAN’T. You’ll just end up resenting writing the piece in the first place; writing is supposed to be fun, not a chore.

Eat and take breaks. I am TERRIBLE for this, but I find I think better if I step away for a short bit, have a nibble, and come back with a happy tummy and relaxed eyes.

Change scenery. It sounds silly, but sometimes just relocating to a different room or your patio or even a coffee shop will help you “get a fresh perspective”. I’ve seen a lot of authors post about how “here I am in xx and my creative juices are flowing!” so there must be some truth to that! <3

Put on light background noise. I don’t know if this will work for everyone, but for me I like having video game music, or trance music, or even the hum of my fans running, because if it’s too quiet, all I hear is the buzz of my own brain and it bugs me. Sometimes even a movie or YouTube vid will help you get some ideas or creativity (this one is more for the artists; my day job (graphic designer) I listen to youtube and movies and youtube podcasts during the day to help keep me focussed).

Read or research something for your fic or just to switch your brain to something else. Take notes on stuff you’re researching; at least that part for your fanfic is done at the end of it all!

Write a couple paragraphs here and there and put them together later. When I used to write fanfics a lot more prominently, I did this all the time. I actually used to write hard copies on lined paper with notebooks – still have them! – and I ALWAYS wrote out the parts I knew I had ideas for, and from there, I would piece them together when I wrote the digital versions of the fics. It’s sort of like brainstorming, but not. So yeah, honestly? Get yourself one of those spiral subject books they always sell at the beginning of school years, and hand write your stories. This actually is related to the “change scenery” point, in a way, but instead you’re changing media. You’d be amazed what doing just that can do! <3

So that’s all my own sort of stuff, and I know everyone does things differently, so what works for me might not work for you <3

If any authors have their own ideas / coping with writer’s block / getting back into stories techniques they’re willing to share (new authors too!!), please do! <3

[bittywitches]

All Yours (Grayson Dolan Fanfic)

A/N: I’m so sorry I can’t really tell what this is anymore I just. Needed to finish it. This is absolutely way too long and prolly bad but here you go :)

Basically it’s just Grayson getting super duper jealous and paranoid of how close his girlfriend and Ethan are 

Hope everyone’s doing well. Love you guys <3

Word Count: 4.6K

“E you’re literally kidding me right now.”

“Bro it’s literally true you’ve been here the entire time you have EVIDENCE!”

“OH MY GOD ETHAN your life was not going to shit because of mercury being in retrograde! That makes no fucking sense!”

“HOW can you say that-“

“Do you know what retrograde even IS?”

“Y/N y-“

“Shut the fuck up im trying to educate you. ‘Mercury being in rEtRoGrAdE’ is just us seeing mercury’s orbit from EARTH-“

“Dude-“

“LISTEN YOU DUMBASS it’s SCIENCE we’re just OBSERVING another orbit while we are ALSO orbiting around the SAME THING-“

“BRO I-“

“Grayson tell him he’s a fucking idiot!”

“HOE he’s literally the one who found the store to buy us those stones!”

She whipped her head around in shock with a slight undertone of disgust. “GRAYSON!”

Grayson looked up from his phone. “Do not drag me into this.”

“Grayson you fucking dUMBASS-“

“Baby-“

“PLEASE tell me it was a joke. You were just committing to the joke.”

He went back to his phone.

“GRAYSON PLEASE-“

“Y/N THERE’S NO OTHER EXPLANATION FOR HOW SHITTY THIS WEEK HAS BEEN-“ Ethan exclaimed.

“Oh I’m gonna-“ she jumped off the couch and lunged towards him, ready to pounce, but Grayson grabbed her waist to hold her back. 

“Honey you have got to chill.”

“It is not my fault that Ethan can’t understand BASIC TENTH GRADE SCIENCE-“

“JOKE’S ON YOU I NEVER WENT TO TENTH GRADE-“

“You FUCKER-“

“BABE CALM THE FUCK DOWN!” He yanked her back, and she fell back on top of his chest.

“Can’t you open your mind for one second Y/N-“ 

“E stop instigating her!” He said, trying to keep a growling Y/N locked in his arms.

“It’s a COINCIDENCE! It’s a  scientific phenomenon that happens with lots of satellites in space but has no relation to Earth or us whatsoever and has NOTHING TO DO with your SHITTY WEEK ETHAN! You are just incredibly unlucky!”

“Okay babe you’re actually scaring me maybe turn the rage down a bit?” Gray asked, trying for a soothing tone.

“And you on the other hand! Are you stupid? Are you literally stupid Grayson-“

“BABY-“

She bent down and bit on his arm and he yelped , letting go more out of surprise than in pain.

“Y/N WHAT THE FUCK?” He rubbed his arm and pouted at her.

“Everyone who lives here is a FUCKING IDIOT!” She yelled, storming out of living room and into the kitchen.

A few seconds pass.

...

“You’re not really mad though, right?” Ethan said quietly after clearing his throat.

Y/N walked back into the living room, now holding a bag of potato chips. “Nah, I’m just bored and wanted to argue.”

She plopped herself onto the couch next to Ethan and smiled at him, and he rolled his eyes, but it got a laugh out of Grayson.

“So we cool?” Ethan eyed her warily. 

“Of course,” she laughed, then pecked him on the cheek. “I just thrive on dysfunction.” She popped a chip into her mouth.

“Yea she’s right about that..” Gray mumbled from his seat, still staring at his phone.

“Shut up, asshole.”

“Bitchass.”

She laughed. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“So you do think our shitty week was because of mercury being in retrograde.”

Her laughter stopped when she turned around to look at Ethan. She blinked. “You’re kidding, right?”

“What? You just said-“

“Yea because I thought you were joking-“

“What? I wasn’t-“

“Oh my god don’t get me started-“

“LETS JUST WATCH THE MOVIE!” Grayson shouted, throwing his phone onto the counter.

Y/N snorted. “Jeez, Gray, it’s like you want us to stop fighting.”

“Yea, no doubt this is definitely turning you on right now.” Ethan wiggled his eyebrows, and Y/N spat from laughing so hard as she doubled over.

“EW what the F-” Gray screamed.

“It’s okay, you can be honest with us. It’s not your fault you’re into weird shit.” Y/N howled from laughter.

Grayson rolled his eyes. “Of course you two only stop fighting if it’s to make fun of me. I see how it is-“

“Bubba stop wallowing and start the movie!” Y/N threw a pillow at him, and it landed smack in his face.

“Nice shot.” Ethan remarked.

“Thank you, good sir.” She gave him a high five.

“God, this is one of those times I wish you guys weren’t friends first.” Grayson groaned, grabbing the remote and turning the TV on.

“Hey man, the one time I make a friend on my own and she ends up being your girlfriend. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me, dude-“

“Don’t start with this shit again, E-“

“I mean I basically got you your girlfriend, you technically owe me bro-“

“Shut the fuck up E!”

“Excuse me,” Y/N interjected, shoving Ethan’s shoulder. “You didn’t do shit, okay? I honestly probably just got unlucky and ended up meeting you first instead of Grayson.” She smirked.

“Wow, okay, first of all, fuck you-“

“I'M PUTTING THE MOVIE ON!” Grayson shouted.

“Damn, baby, what’s got you in a bad mood today?” Y/N giggled, and Ethan snickered along with her. They constantly got into tiny fights about nothing just for fun, and it was what made their friendship so interesting. But they knew when to stop fooling around, and it seemed like now was one of those times.

Gray sighed. “Nothinggg, I’m just tired.” It wasn’t nothing, but he was tired. He kicked his feet up into the sofa and leaned back against the pillow. Ethan has already draped the big fuzzy blanket over him and Y/N.

“Baby..” Grayson whined. “Come over here. I wanna cuddle.” 

“But it’s so faaar..” Y/N groaned. “And I’m already so cozy.” She smiled at him sweetly.

Grayson couldn’t help but feel warm and fuzzy from the look she gave him, but he was still disappointed. He slumped his shoulders and turned back towards the screen.  “Whatever..”

“Aww, Baby, don’t be like that, then you’ll make me feel bad.”

“Jesus you guys are adorably disgusting.” Ethan cringed at you both, and Grayson groaned.

“Why, thank you, kind sir.” Y/N said, grabbing the blanket away from Ethan then scurrying over to Graysons sofa, making his eyes light up.

“Hey! I was using that.” Ethan grumbled.

“Sorry, it’s needed for cuddles which is more important than your lonely ass.”

“Why are you so mean to me?”

“Because you always forgive me right afterwards.” She gave him a cheeky grin, and he scoffed at her.

She turned to Grayson. “Okay, scooch over, you attention whore.” 

“Hey-“

“I looove you.” 

Grayson rolled his eyes. “You’re lucky I love you too.” He shimmied over, letting Y/N crawl over him so she could nestle up close into his chest. Grayson then threw the blanket over both of them. She laid her head in the crook of his neck, and pressed a kiss there.

“You’re not mad, right?”

He looked down at her, wary. A little, he thought. “No.. why?”

“Dunno..” she shrugged. “Just feels like you are.”

“Well, I’m not.” He said, not with much enthusiasm. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Would you two stop whispering and start the movie already?” Ethan said, putting his feet up onto the counter. 

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” Gray reaches for the remote, and started the movie.

...

“There’s no way!”

Grayson groaned, finally waking up to the sound of chattering voices and giggling.

“He’d never do that.” He heard Y/N’s voice say. 

He grumbled, rubbing his eyes, but then noticed that he couldn’t feel the weight of Y/N on top of him. He cracked his eyes open and found her missing from his arms. He then turned to find her sitting back over on the couch, next to Ethan.

“You don’t give him enough credit.” Ethan said, grinning. 

“I’m not saying I blame him! It makes sense that he wouldn’t.”

He couldn’t explain it, but Grayson felt some sort of anger bubbling in his chest. Why did it seem like every moment he got with Y/N was being stolen? Was he no longer able to just fall asleep with his girlfriend in his arms? Did Ethan always have to be the one he saw instead?

“What’re you two girls giggling about?” He growled, throwing the blanket off of him as he sat up.

“Look who finally decided to wake up.” Y/N said, turning away from E to face him.

Grayson sighed. He couldn’t beat around the bush anymore, so he asked the obvious question. “Whatre you doing over there, baby?”

“Well, you fell asleep halfway through the movie. And you just looked so cute... I didn’t wanna wake you up.” She smiled at him, that familiar twinkle in her eye.

Gray tilted his head at her, unsure what to make of it. How did she always end up doing something sweet so he couldn’t stay mad at her?

“What are you guys talking about?” He asked again.

“Y/N was just telling me about this sex position you won’t try.” He snorted.

Grayson closed his eyes. “Please, dear god, tell me he’s joking.” He opened them again and looked at her.

She laughed, getting up and seating herself down next to him. “He’s joking, bub.” She gave him a side glance. “We were actually just talking about whether or not you’d give up your work for me.”

Grayson blinked, then turned to Ethan. “Are you trying to make me lose my girlfriend?” 

He laughed. “No, we were just talking about the podcast and stuff, and she said how she’s never seen you as happy as you are doing that kind of stuff with anything else. To which I said, you’d give it all up in a second for her.”

“Okay I’m not confirming or denying anything-“ Grayson pressed a hand to Y/N’s cheek, “-I love you,-“ he added, getting a smile from her, “but I don’t feel like you’re in a position where you can make that kind of comment while I am unconscious and unable to defend myself.” He directed back at Ethan.

“Baby, relax.” Y/N took his hand from her cheek and pressed a kiss against his palm. “We were just talking. I just said that there’s no way you’d just give up on all of this. On everything. And that makes SENSE.” She said to Ethan. “No relationship should demand that you give up anything that important to you.”

“Right but I’m just saying-“

“Ethan maybe just shut up.” Gray interjected. “Just a little. Just shut up.”

Y/N laughed again. She cupped Grayson’s cheeks, turning his face towards hers, and pressed a quick kiss against his lips. “Sorry, Baby. Didn’t mean to make you all flustered right after you woke up.” She giggled.

Grayson sighed, but smiled. “Sometimes I wonder if you’re worth all this embarrassment.”

“No, you don’t.” 

“Yea, you’re right. I don’t.” He grinned.

“Okay, it’s getting too cute again. I’m going to bed before I puke.” Ethan got up, making a gagging gesture with his finger. “Gnight.”

“Night, E.” Y/N said, laughing as he walked out of the room.

“God, I thought he’d never leave.” Grayson pulled Y/N into his arms and kissed her face all over.

She giggled, pushing his face away. “What are you talking about? You literally just woke up.”

“And I was expecting to wake up to my girlfriends pretty face, not his nasty one.” He snuggled his nose into her cheek as she rolled her eyes.

“What’re you talking about.” 

“I’m just saying that I don’t mind it when he’s not here to steal you away.”

“Steal me?” She finally got his face off of her and she looked at him, crossing her arms. “the hell is that supposed to mean?”

He gave her a mixture of a sigh and a laugh. “Nothing, babe.”

“Grayson.”

“Yes, Baby.” He pushed her hair back behind her shoulders.

She swatted his hands away. “What is that supposed to mean?”

He shrugged. “I’m just saying that when I fall asleep with my girlfriend in my arms, it isn’t the best feeling waking up to see her giggling with my brother.”

She sat up abruptly, almost knocking him in the face in the process. “What?”

“Nothingggg, never mind.”

“Grayson-“

“I love you,” he said. 

“Ok we can’t keep saying that to avoid stuff!” She jabbed at him.

“I’m not avoiding anything, baby girl.” He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss to her forehead. 

Y/N hesitated. “Bub...”

“Mmm.” He bent down and pressed a kiss to her lips. She held him there, as if she was testing him for something. But she couldn’t seem to figure out what. 

They broke apart, and Grayson sighed against her lips.

“I hate that E had to meet you first.”

“Why?” She pulled away just enough to see his eyes.

“Because-“ he stopped, and breathed out. “Because I didn’t get to have you for as long as I could have.” He decided to say that instead, while pressing his forehead against hers.

“You have me now.” She said.

He smiled. “Yea...” he pulled back from her, a wistful sort of look in his eye.

Do I, though? He thought.

Grayson shook his head, then laid back on the couch, putting his arms back behind his head as he breathed out. He felt Y/N weigh down on his chest, propping herself up on her elbows as she looked down at him. She stayed like that for a while, watching him breathe and stare at the ceiling. He wanted to know what was running through her head, but he kept his eyes closed, knowing that if he did look at her he’d feel jealous all over again.

He hated the very idea of him being jealous in the first place. It was icky and weird, and quite frankly disgusting. What was he supposed to be jealous of?

Ethan.

He pushed that thought way, just thinking about it making him queasy. What the fuck was he thinking? How could he be jealous of Ethan when Y/N was his girlfriend? Sure, they were friends first, and yes that pissed him off to no end, but that’s all it was. They were just friends.

Right?

No.

Grayson brought his hands up to his eyes, somehow trying to rub the thoughts out of his head. He let out a loud sigh. 

Why did she have to be like this? It’s not like he had a problem with her being close with Ethan. He loved that, and he always wanted his partner to have a good relationship with his brother. Ethan was super important to him, and he wanted both his love and his brother to be in his life. And that’s what he got, so he should be lucky right? He should be happy at the thought that the three of them could just hang out and things wouldn’t be weird.

Yes it would.

No it wouldn’t.

They spend too much time together.

No they don’t.

She probably wants to be with him instea-

“Woah- okay.” Grayson mumbled, opening his eyes fast to pull himself out of his spiral. That went too far way too fast. He peered up at the ceiling, trying to concentrate on the blank white colour and clear his thoughts.

He felt Y/N shift on his chest, probably in response to his small outburst, and he prayed that she wouldn’t say anything. He waited a second.

Two.

Three.

She didn’t make a sound, aside from her soft breath. He relaxed.

This is Y/N. his girlfriend. The girl he loved, and the girl he was quite sure loved him the same way. Nobody else. Just him.

You sure?

“Fuck!”

“Baby, are you okay?” She finally said now, pushing herself up off of his chest gently to look at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“Yea, princess. I’m fine. Just.. a headache.”

She titled her head at him, a worried look in her eye. “You sure?”

You sure?

“YES!” He said a little too loudly, making her jump a little. “Yes, I’m sure.”

She peered at him with a look of unease, but she dropped it. He seemed tired, and she didn’t want to push him. However, she could tell there was something running through his mind, and it was bothering him.

His face looked pale for the first time, and it freaked her out. His eyebrows were all furrowed, and he just felt dark and unsettling.

“What’re you thinking about, bub?” She finally said, unable to keep wondering.

Grayson coughed. What was he to say? 

“...You.” He finally decided with, trying for a playful smile, but his eyes still seemed tired. Uneasy.

“Is that so?” She laid down, bringing her arms down flat on his chest and resting her chin above them. “What about me?”

“Just you.” He brought a hand up to brush a hair out of her face, and this time she let him. “Your pretty face.”

Just for me.

“Right.”

“And your sparkling eyes.”

For no one else.

“Mhm.”

“And your stupid little smile that literally makes me want to squeal like a little school girl.” He said now, a little frustrated, but making him realize once more that this was still Y/N. the girl he had fallen for, and loved with everything he had.

“Aw, I make you squeal like a little girl?”

“Constantly.”

“That may be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

“Shut up.”

They both breathed out, their anxious sighs mingling with one another. 

Grayson felt Y/N drag her finger across his chest, stopping abruptly right before touching his hand.

She knows.

Knows what?

Knows that you don’t trust her.

He took her hand in his, grabbing it tightly and pressing it against his chest.  

I do trust you.

I do.

It was like he could feel her smiling against his chest, and suddenly he relaxed once more. He rubbed her palm with his thumb, glad he could find something to focus on. It was as if she felt the same way, because he felt her place her head down against his chest. He closed his eyes once more, lining his breath up with her soft breath. His other hand found its way to her lower back, now gently rubbing up and down, the way he did whenever she couldn’t fall asleep.

Just fall asleep.

...

“Shit.”

Grayson stirred from his sleep, awoken by the sound of Y/N’s quiet voice. 

“Mmmbaby, s’that y-?” He went to sleepily grab Y/N’s waist, but sort of shook himself awake when his arms landed flat against his waist. 

He wanted to yell. “God, again with this shit?” He grumbled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.” Her voice made him pull his arms away, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. He finally recognized his girlfriend’s shape standing next to the sofa. He then saw the spilled water at her feet.

“What are you...” he glanced back up at her, and she ran a hand through her hair.

“I got thirsty. Didn’t wanna wake you...” She sighed. “But I couldn’t see in the dark, and I knocked into the stupid coffee table and spilled it all.” She rubbed her eye with the back of her palm and pouted.

Grayson reached for his phone, picking it up and squinting as the bright light shone in his face. 

It was 2am. 

He turned the flashlight on his phone on so he could see where the water had spilled. Thankfully, none had gotten on the carpet. He placed the phone down and sighed. “My clumsy baby.” He got up off the couch and carefully walked over to her, stepping over the puddle of water. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed her on the forehead. “Okay, I’ll get the mop. Go to bed.”

She smiled. “Love you.”

...

About fifteen minutes later, Grayson quietly shut the door to his bedroom, and saw his girlfriend sitting up in his bed, her head laying against the backboard, and a pretty light shining over her face from the table lamp. Her eyes seemed a little glazed, as if she was about to drift off, but smiled and sat up when she saw him enter the room.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” Grayson asked, getting into bed next to her.

She shrugged. “Didn’t wanna fall asleep without you.”

She laid her head on his shoulder, and sighed. “I know we kinda say it all the time, so it’s kinda almost lost meaning at this point, but…” she tilted her head to look up at him. “I really do love you.”

Her hand rustled under the blanket to find his, and their fingers intertwined. “A lot.” 

Grayson’s eyebrows furrowed. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothin’.” She said, reaching up to kiss his cheek. 

“Well, whatever it is, I like it.”

Grayson pushed her back down onto her pillow and kissed her while she giggled against his lips. 

She pushed him back by his shoulders, giving him a funny look. “I’m just trying to show my appreciation for you.”

“So am I.” He pressed a kiss to her lips again, and this time she didn’t stop him, her hands finding their usual place at his jaw and neck. 

When they pulled apart, she kept his head in place, pressing their noses together. “You’re amazing.”

“You’re weird when you’re tired.”

She pecked his lips. “It’s strange that you use the word ‘weird’ instead of ‘affectionate’.”

She let go of him, letting her arms fall on top of the blanket. She stretched, and let out a yawn. She pushed him down onto the mattress, and laid her head in the crook of his neck, her arm against his chest.

Grayson leaned back, just watching the view in front of him. His wonderful girlfriend, falling asleep next to him, in his bed. Hearing her breathing as she drifted off to sleep, her chest slowly rising and falling as she began to dream. It was everything he wanted. 

Then why was there that nagging voice still in the back of his head?

This isn’t real.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

She’s faking it. 

What?

All of it.

What is wrong with you?

She’s pretending.

No she’s not.

She is.

She’s not.

She is.

She loves me!

You sure?

…

I have to be sure.

“Y/N…”

“Mmm?”

“Tell me the story of how you met Ethan.”

She looked up at him with a weird look. “Why?”

“Just ‘cause.”

“..babe?”

“I just wanna hear it.”

“But you already know that story.”

“I know..” He stroked her hair. “I just wanna hear it again.”

“Baby what is going on with you?” She pushed herself up off of his chest to look at him, sitting up now.

“Okay, fine. Just tell me what you really thought when you saw him for the first time.”

“What?”

“Were you really just trying to be friends with him?”

“Bub-” 

“Or did you want something else?”

“Grayson!” she shoved at his chest. “What is wrong with you?”

“Baby please.” He grabbed her arm. “Did you want him, ever?”

She flung his arm off of her. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Just tell me!” He yelled, impatient and worried.

She blinked at him in astonishment. “Okay, so what if I did, huh?”

His heart sank. “Don’t play games with me, Y/N.”

“So WHAT if I DID, GRAYSON?” she was shouting now too, no longer caring about keeping her voice down so not to wake Ethan. 

“Don’t fucking say that.”

“Why would that even matter? I’m not with him, am I? I’m with YOU!”

“Y/N-”

“Grayson, please....” She put her face in her hands. Rubbing her eyes with her palms. “What is wrong? Do you have a problem with me?”

“What? No! I-”

“Then why are you doing this? Why are you acting like a jealous freak? Do you not trust me? Do you not believe me when I pour my heart out to you? When I say that I love you?”

“I’m not jealous-”

“Yes you are!” She threw her hands up in the air. “I’ve never said anything about it, because I didn’t want to. It’s weird, Gray. And especially today! What do you have to be jealous of? Do you not want me to be friends with Ethan? Is that it?”

“No…” His fingers raked through his hair. “No.”

“Then what, Gray? What is it that you want from me?”

She paused. 

“Do you not want me?”

His eyes widened. “What the fuck are you talking about?” He wrapped his arms around her aggressively, burying his nose into her shoulder. “You are all I’ve ever wanted.”

She sighed. “Bub…” she gently pushed herself away from his so she could look him in the eye. “No. I’ve never had feelings for Ethan. He’s my friend. My really, good friend that I care a lot about. But I don’t feel anything towards him like what I feel towards you.”

He gave her an exasperated sigh. “Then what did you really think of Ethan the first time you met him?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary! I just thought he was a nice person that I’d like to hang out with.”

Grayson gave her a weary look. 

“Babe, I don’t understand. You say that you trust me, but if you did why would you act like this?”

“I don’t know, Y/N! It’s not like I want to! It’s just- you guys are so close. And I’ve just never seen Ethan be that close to someone other than me, and, I don’t know, okay? It just. It just freaks me out.”

Y/N cupped his jaw. “Grayson.”

“Yea?”

“You know what I thought the first time I met you?”

“...what?”

“Wow. I didn’t know it was possible for someone to have a twin significantly more attractive than they are.”

Grayson blinked, but then almost spit all over her, doubling over in laughter, completely forgetting about the seriousness of the situation. Y/N couldn’t help but giggle as well, glad to see him smile.

“Shut up.” He said after controlling his laughing. “Don’t lie.”

“I’m dead serious.” She chuckled. “My hands were all sweaty the entire time, and you know how I kept completely falling off the track while we were playing mario kart?

“Mhm?”

“That’s cuz I was staring at your reflection in the tv screen.”

“Shut UP!”

“I swear to god I’m serious!” she laughed. “And after I gave up to let you guys play and I was just on my phone, I was actually imagining us making out.”

He grabbed her face and kissed her, surprising her, but she relaxed in his arms. When he pulled away, he said: “You are so good at lying to make me feel better.” 

“I’m not lying!”

“Mhm.” He kissed her again, wrapping one arm around her waist while the other held her neck firmly. She moaned against his lips, holding his face in both hands. When they pulled away, they were out of breath.

“Okay, maybe I exaggerated a little bit.” She smiled. “But the point is, I love you. Nobody else.”

Grayson sighed. “I love you.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry.”

“You should be.”

“Hey.”

“What? You should.”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine. You’re right.”

He kissed her forehead. “I’m really sorry. I’ve been a huge dick.”

“You sure have.”

Then her nose. “I was an idiot to be jealous.”

“Mhm.”

And then a peck on her lips. “I love you. So much.”

She grinned. “I love you too.”

“Promise me one thing?”

“What?”

“You’ll always be mine?” he asked, his lips grazing against hers.

She smiled at him. “I’m all yours.” she said, then connected their lips once more.

[laurelhach]

books i’ve read and what i thought of them

In no particular order. The rating is purely my opinion, often with little to back it up. Sometimes you like a story, sometimes you don’t. Many of these are from a while back so i don’t recall details just....vibes, y’know?

The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison |★★★| A court drama but with  goblins and elves. Surprisingly interesting, and a satisfying standalone.

American Elsewhere by Robert Jackson Bennett |★★★| The kind of weird I love in a podcast, in a novel. Tasty.

The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie  |★★★★ The only book on this list with a rock as the main character. It’s amazing.

Machineries of Empire series by Yoon Ha Lee  |★★★| Docking a star because the first book took a while to get the hang of; treat the formations like magic spells and you’ve got it. Good characters, good representation, good fun.

Rolling in the Deep by Mira Grant  |★★★| Jurassic park with mermaids. 

The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon |★★|  If this had been split up into several books, it may have been bearable. It’s a nice world, but I got bored.

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling |★★★| Cave diving on an alien planet, and there’s something down there. Gay.

A Dead Djinn in Cairo/ The Haunting of Tram Car 015 by P. Djélì Clark |★★★★| Stupendous short reads. I need 10 more in this world. 

Smoke and Summons by Charlie N. Holmberg |★|  It’s trying to be something, but doesn’t quite make it. I read the whole trilogy, but it was a struggle. Horribly straight.

The Library at Mount Char by Scott Hawkins  |★★★| I’d liken this one to American Elsewhere, but weirder. Are they gods? Maybe. Is it a wild good read? Yes.

The Devourers by Indra Das  |★★| Too sexual for me, but otherwise good. Werewolves, of a sort. Made me want to draw.

The Wolf in the Whale by Jordanna Max Brodsky  |★★| Got a bit dull, but the only book of it’s kind I’ve read. Inuk gods vs norse. Nonbinary MC.Has the worst cover art of any on this list.

A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine  |★★★| A political thriller in a space-Aztec empire. Yes it’s fun, and if you don’t laugh at Thirty-Six All-Terrain Tundra Vehicle you’re wrong.

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsin Muir  |★★| The titular character feels drawn in a different style than everyone else. Maybe you’ll like that? Lots of skeletons, but not judiciously used.

A Big Ship at the Edge of the Universe by Alex White  |★★★| I was having too much fun with this series to tell if it were actually well-written. Please get magic in my sci-fi.

The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow |★★★| I listened to this bc I accidentally used an audible credit. Wasn’t mad about it.

Tooth and Claw by Jo Walton |★★★| A period drama with dragons, played straight as a ruler, and therefor hilarious.

Last Days by Brian Evenson |★★| Look this book isn’t bad and probably deserves more stars but it IS about infiltrating an amputation cult.

The Tensorate series by Jy Yang |★★★★| Another world of novellas that I need more of. Silkpunk. Queer rep. Magic. Raptors. Dragons. It’s got it all.

One of Us by Craig DiLouie |★★| This book is equally parts sad and fucked up. X-Men but horrible. A kid eats his dad. His dad only kinda deserved it.

The Wonder Engine by T. Kingfisher |★| One of the straightest books on this list and also boring for other reasons.

The Black God’s Drums by P. Djélì Clark |★★★★| Clark has another immersive novella that needs more. Seriously, such a small taste is cruelty. Savor it.

A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab |★| There are gay characters but still manages to be painfully straight. Written like a fanfic. The MC reminisces in purple prose about things that happen 10 minutes ago. I want to slap her.

Beneath the Rising by Premee Mohamed |★★| This is a three-star story but I’m docking one bc an octopus was murdered.

The Masquerade series by Seth Dickinson  |★★★★★| hey these are my favorite books now soooooooo. read them. read. them. A girl's island is colonized so she vows to destroy the empire by becoming the world's most dangerous accountant.

[jawira707]

Miraculous Ladybug New York Special fanfic - On the Plane

Info: I read yesterday that some people wanted a sweet Adrinette fic, where they fall asleep next to each other on the plane like they did in the Startrain episode. So I hoped someone would write that. Then I thought, maybe I should write that. This is my first fanfic  in nearly one year I think, but why not, why not...I hope you like it! (Spoilers (even though no major spoilers) from the NY special!)

Word Count: 1462

Summary: Adrien had never fallen asleep on a plane, Plagg was on the Titanic and Mari had no earplugs with her...but luckily, they had each other.

Pairing: Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng

Warning: None

(Disclaimer: this fanfic is not sponsered by Air France, but I want them to know despite my critique they’re still 100 times better than American Airlines. Merci)

Title: On the plane

Adrien had never fallen asleep on a plane. No matter on how many trips he had gone, to the US, to Italy, even to Australia and China - mostly business related traveling in first class because his father insisted on that-, he just couldn’t get used to the dry air and the constant noise of the machine. He vividly remembered being scolded for not trying to rest and being too tired for shootings after they had landed, but luckily Gorilla didn’t care, absorbed in his own little word, listening to his meditation podcast, while Adrien kept moving around in his seat trying to find a more comfortable position. He was tired of scrolling through the entertainment program on his screen and additionally, he started to feel cold.

Looking around in the dark, he tried to find anyone that was not asleep, another classmate to talk to, but all the lights were out and he could hear snoring all around. I should have stayed in Paris, he thought guiltily, I should have convinced my father to let me stay. But how? Another voice in his hand, that suspiciously sounded like Plagg, replied. If Ladybug ever finds out, she would be so mad at him. Putting his head in his hands Adrien felt terribly alone, wishing once again his partner knew his real identity so he could explain to her why everything was so complicated at times.

„You’re here for Marinette and your friends too, remember“ The little whisper in his pocket really came from Plagg this time.

„Sorry, did I wake you up?“

„Sleeping with you is like being on the Titanic. And trust me I would know, because I was there! Do you ever sit still?“

„My leg has fallen asleep“

„I have never heard that human body parts sleep separately…“

„It’s just a saying Plagg“

„Well, then here’s another one. Stop worrying so much! Your friends are happy you came“

„You just want cheese and you know it“

„Sure. I live in France to go for cheese to the United States…“

„But you said-…“

„I want you to have some fun, kid, just relax!“

„I can’t“ Adrien gave back, tiredly. Finally giving up on trying, he stood up and started walking back and forth between the rows. The sun hadn’t risen yet and there were still hours to fly. Yay.

Suddenly he saw someone getting up a few rows in front of him. The person was stretching and didn’t seem to be headed to the bathroom or elsewhere. As he approached, he could already tell who it was. He felt a wave of relief wash over him, already not feeling that abandoned as he had a minute before. Maybe he could talk to her? He just had to be careful not to startle her.

„Hey, Marinette“ he called out quietly.

„Hi? Oh…WOAH…I mean, hi Adrien!“ Marinette nearly stumbled as she turned around quickly, her elbow accidentally making contact with her seat neighbor. Her face had turned the color of deep red, but luckily in the dark, no one noticed. „What are you doing here? I mean, it’s nice that you came, it’s not that I don’t want you here, I just-„

„I couldn’t sleep“ Adrien gently interrupted her nervous rambling. „Why are you up? You’re not feeling air sick, do you?“ He remembered her mentioning this earlier, but Marinette seemed confused.

„Me? Oh…no, it’s a…calm flight“

„I’m glad to hear that“

For a moment there just stood next to each other in silence and Adrien wondered if she wanted to sit down again and didn’t do so out of courtesy. „Well, if you would like to sleep some more…“, he started, but didn’t finish because she shook her head.

„No, at least not here, our principal is snoring like a champion.“

Adrien chuckled at this.

„Oh..Adrien?“ He nodded, wondering why she suddenly sounded concerned. „Sorry, but are you feeling air sick?“ She felt stupid for not asking – he always was so caring, complimenting her and asking how she was doing. Maybe he had walked here not to chat, but to consult one of their teachers which were sitting next to her. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Next, she almost flinched away before she realized he had put a hand on her shoulder to reassure her.

„Ah non. Thank you for asking. I’m used to flying, I just don’t like it. It’s loud and stuffed…I know, I sound like a spoiled child“ He chuckled again,making her heart flutter. „Normally, I fly in first class. I’m more chatty when I get tired.“

„Do you want me to come with you? I mean …sit next to you?“ Wait, did she really just asked him that?!

„That would be great.“

„Let’s go“ Wow, Marinette congratulated herself, maybe it was because she couldn’t really see Adrien’s face and his beautiful, wonderful green eyes in the dark or because she also was exhausted, but she was sure that these were the first coherent sentences she had spoken to him recently. And now he was holding…her hand!

„I will lead you, be careful, there’s a lot of backpacks and jackets lying around“ he told her and she couldn’t disagree with that logic. Nope, it made perfect sense...

As they reached the seats, Adrien sat down first and this time she joined him without any hesitation. „I still can’t believe you convinced my dad to let me come“ Adien started, making her blush.

„Yeah, me neither. But I guess, he realized how important it was to us“

„Oui“ He sounded happier now. „Do you want to play a game?“

„Huh?“

Adrien turned on his screen again. „There’s not a huge selection but there are some quiz games on here…alone it’s boring, but maybe it’s more fun playing together“

„Yes“

Marinette had no clue what he was talking about, but a few minutes later they both tried to answer questions of different categories as quickly as possible.

„Wow, I’m dumb“ Adrien said after the first round. „I have only 4/10 correct answers in the geography section“

„Geography is hard“ she reassured him.

„But I selected France, Paris as the main category“ And then she laughed and he laughed too.

„Well, Monsieur Agreste“ she teased him, again surprised about her sudden boldness, „I guess you have no clue where you’re living“

„True, I have not seen so much of Paris after all, haven’t I? If there was a category „My room“ I would win for sure!“ He kept on laughing, but Marinette realized she needed to change the subject.

„Let’s play this word game…it’s in English though“ „Fine, we should practice anyway“

It turned out Marinette excelled in this game and nearly found all the hidden words. „Can you find another one…one is still missing?“ As he didn’t answer, she turned towards him, realizing he was about to fall asleep, his eyes closed and him leaning back into his seat. „Okay... good night, Adrien“

She smiled and thought about getting up but just then the boy unconsciously moved his leg in front of hers. It’s not so bad, being small after all, she thought. All the tall boys had to be much more uncomfortable in the small space than she was. If she got up now, there was a chance she would wake him up. „Mari…?“ Speaking of which…

“Adrien?“ He didn’t seem to be fully awake, murmuring something unintelligibly.

"What?“

„Stay“

Oh…my…

“Please“ he whispered and she felt his weight against her side. He wasn’t heavy and apparently longing for contact, instead of actually falling asleep on her. His little „please“ moved something inside her and she placed his hand on his arm.

„Shh…“

She couldn’t think too much about this, she realized.Therefore she closed her eyes as well, leaning into him as if to hide away from all her fear, her awkwardness and no matter how little sense that made, it worked. Adrien rested his chin on her head, her ear close to his chest, so that she now heard his steady and slow breathing. He felt so much better and warmer with Marinette in his arms.

The motor noises were still just as loud and the air just as dry, but there were by themselves in their little world, blocking out everything around them.

The little timer for the game on the screen showed 0:00 seconds and the score was displayed „You found 9/10 hidden words“ it read. The 10th word is „solace“.” Then after a few moments the screen got dark automatically, because no one had restarted the game.

Adrien shifted in his seat, pulling Marinette closer to him, sighing contently as he felt her wrapping her arms around his waist.

At the same moment, in a different time zone, the sun started rising in Paris.

And Adrien Agreste was finally asleep.

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Thank you for reading! I’m always happy about reviews, here some little things that didn’t make it into the story:

- Marinette sitting on Adrien’s chocolate bar he placed on the seat next to him instead of eating it

- Plagg nearly getting stuck in the ventilation (a drama, really)

- Adrien and Mari sharing headphones to listen to music on the plane (classic to fall asleep or Jagged Stone to have themselves their own little party, your choice)

I hope you like this little story =)