fandom-oldpodcast

[fandom-oldpodcast]

Jack comes in and puts a hand on her shoulder while she cries at Daniel’s bedside. “Come on, Carter. Don’t cry on his bandages.”

She sobs out a laugh and lets him tug her out of the room and into privacy to let her compose herself. His hand is tangled with hers and she follows him unquestioningly, her own words ringing in her head. She doesn’t want to wait anymore. It could have been any of them in that bed. It could have been him.

There’s a few moments of movement and then he’s pushing them into her empty lab, dark and cool and comforting. He knows this is her safe place.

“C'mere.”

He tugs their joined hands and pulls her into his chest. It’s the most contact they’ve had since Jonah and Thera overruled their better sense of judgement and she wraps her arms around his waist, buries her face in his chest and breathes him in. Hugging him–touching him–is second nature, the thing she always craves just beneath her control.

His hands are large and warm and roam over her back in soothing comforting circles. It makes her cry harder. He’s a good man and she loves him.

Why do we wait to tell people how we really feel?

She’s done waiting. They’ve hidden and denied themselves so long and for what? For it to all be gone in one decision, one stray zat gun bolt, one faulty gate connection? Not being able to tell him how she felt, not being able to kiss him or hold his hand or go home with him at the end of the day had done nothing to lessen her feelings. She still loved him, whether the Air Force said she could or not. 

Her head lifts from his chest and she puts distance between them, just enough to tilt back and look up at him. His hands settle on the small of her back, dangerously close to the waistband of her pants. Curling her fingers into the front of his uniform, feeling the thick stitching around O’Neill of his shirt, she smiles softly at him, a sort of steely peace settling over her. 

He was here in her arms, real and solid and alive, and she needed to tell him that nothing had changed for her. That she was still his, as long as he wanted her.

Why do we wait to tell people how we really feel?

“You need to know,” she starts, voice just short of desperate and frantic. Her grip tightens on his uniform, keeping him close as if her words could be trapped here just between them. “In case it’s ever one of us. You need to kno–”

He presses a finger to her lips, eyes glinting and intense and focused. “I know,” he says softly. The pads of his fingers are soft and warm on her lips and she considers what it would be like in another life to be able to lick and nip at the skin, to demonstrate her affection the way she wants. For now, the words need to be enough.

She shakes her head and  talks against his fingers. “I know. But you need to hear it. Just once,” she begs. “I need to say it.”

He closes his eyes like the words will physically pain him if he hears it but he nods, smoothing his fingers over her lips and curling his fingers beneath her chin, cupping her jaw. An acquiescence. She presses her cheek into his touch, eyes fluttering close. 

“I love you.”

The words fill the room and the tension drains from both of them, a weight temporarily lifted from them both. She opens her eyes and sees him staring down at her, mouth parted, wanting. He strokes his thumb over the curve of her cheek and leans forward, resting their foreheads together.

“I love you, too, Sam.” She shudders in his arms, lets the words fill her up. “So much,” he adds.

They stand there in that room–pressed close together and breathing in the other’s air, the confession blanketing them in a cocoon all their own. It’s enough for now. 

It’s enough.

[fandom-oldpodcast]

Interview request!

Hi friends! I'm still (slowly) chugging along over here, and I'm working a special topic episode for Fandom Old, centering around LiveJournal's sale to SUP Media and its history since.

If you're a former LiveJournal employee (or you know someone who is), I'd love to talk to you! For this episode, I’m especially interested in talking to folks who worked at LJ around the time it was licensed to SUP Media (~2006), when it was sold (~2007/8), and when LJ laid off it’s U.S. team (~2009).

If you’re a blogger who was personally impacted by the sale to SUP, I’d love to talk to you as well, but only if you feel you can safely do so. I recognize that might be a tricky proposition right now, and your well-being is more important than a podcast.

If you're interested in being interviewed, please DM me, either here or on Twitter (geneeste there too).

Lastly, I’m not in any hurry! I’m a one-person team, so the podcast's coming together very slowly. It’ll be a while before the episode is ready to go, I’m just wanting to get the word out. Thanks y’all!

[fandom-oldpodcast]

Hi friends, I wanted to give you a quick update to let you know I’m still chugging along!

Since my last update, I believe I recorded one more interview and did some database work to figure out who else was interested in participating so that I’d have a solid guest and topic list moving forward.

I’ve also done some episode editing and writing, but I’ve butted up into the school year and we homeschool, so there’s some curriculum work I need to complete before I can get back to this project.

I just wanted to reassure you that I’m still here and working, albeit much slower for the next little while. ;)

[fandom-oldpodcast]

Hello friends, it's May 15, 2022, and we have an updated list of suggested episode topics!

You can view the entire list of suggested topics, vote on topics that interest you, and submit new topics if you don't see yours in the list.

Please note that submissions are moderated, so it can take a bit for them to show up in the list. (I'm moderating only for abusive stuff, because internet.)

Do me a favor and don't edit any of the existing topics in the table; if you do by accident and can't fix it, don't panic! Just message me here to let me know so I can fix it.

I've done my best to credit folks who suggested topics publicly (in replies to posts or in tags). If you see a topic credited to you and you'd rather be Anon, I'm happy to fix that for you, just message me and I'll take care of it.

Likewise, if you messaged me suggesting a topic and you see Anon where your fannish name should be, that's just because I haven't gotten back to most people yet, and I don't want to name you without permission. Once I get back to you, I'll ask for permission to credit you, and assuming I receive it, I'll update the list.

Lastly: if you have a topic and would like to be a guest on the podcast to talk about it, feel free to message me here! It will be a bit before you hear from me, but I promise I will get back to you. You can also go ahead and submit your topic to the list.

[fandom-oldpodcast]

@imelda72 replied to your post “Updates!”:

so like where is the podcast? does it exist yet?

​Great question! It does not.

I've got the first episode (April in Fandom History) 90% researched and over half-written. I'm slightly embarrassed by this, but the reason it's May and it's not done yet is holy cow, finding audio and old interviews and other research materials is A Fuckton of Work (TM), as is writing them into a narrative that I hope makes sense, isn't inaccurate, and isn't painfully boring. Right now, based on the level of work involved in this ep, most of the "X Month in Fandom History" eps are going to be about a month behind, if not more.

I've also got three interviews recorded, and I'm still trying to get through the responses to the initial call for guests to schedule more because there are so many (which is a lovely problem to have!). Because I really, really, really would like to have a reasonable posting schedule and a break between seasons, I don't plan on releasing the interview eps until most of them are recorded and edited.

I will also say: if history and fandom are your things and you'd like to be a host, a researcher, or something else I haven't thought of, I wouldn't turn down help! But I will caution you that, seriously, it's a lot of work, and there's no pay involved, which is part of the reason I haven't asked before now. The other part is due to the fact that although I have experience in radio and separately as a journalist, I've never done a podcast, so I'm learning as I go, and I'm hesitant to subject other people to the resulting chaos / uncertainty.

[fandom-oldpodcast]

2 May 22: The Game is Afoot

Hey y'all, happy belated May Day! Another quick update so you know I'm still here.

I'm going through all the (absolutely wonderful) messages, asks, replies, and notes y'all have sent at this very moment. I'm pulling out suggestions for topics and noting folks who've shown interest in being guests and getting things organized/written down so I don't miss anything or anyone.

I'm thrilled and honestly stunned by all the interest (in a good way!), and it'll probably be another couple of days to a week before I'm able to sort through everything and start replying with more info, but I see you and appreciate you!

Meanwhile, I also started scripting an "April in Fandom History" that I'm hoping to finish up and record by the end of the week. Please forgive it being released in May.

[fandom-oldpodcast]

Please PLEASE address racism in fandom instead of it being a circle jerk of white voices. Please represent black people and nbpoc in your podcast for the love of god

The short answer to this is: I totally agree. I was actually just chatting with someone who had similar concerns, and they made a point that was on my mind as well: if I'm not intentional about seeking out non-white fan voices, this podcast will end up with all white guests, and that's a condition for failure for me.

My whiteness and queerness informs how I've participated in fandom and how I see fandom, and I know that'll come across in my recounting of fandom history (which is why it's important that white voices aren't the only ones talking -- that's not a complete picture).

So I want to take this opportunity to talk about my approach to talking with fans of color on the podcast, because I think it's important to be transparent so folks know what my strengths and weaknesses are and whether it's something they want to be involved in. (And, again, if the answer is "hell no, we're not touching this with a ten-foot pole", that's a valid and reasonable answer.)

I'm going to let guests guide our conversations and decide what they're comfortable talking about. If a guest wants to talk specifically about racism in fandom, I want to have that conversation and encourage it.

However, I also don't want a scenario in which I'm asking a fan of color to bare their soul and talk about an emotionally charged and draining subject for 30 minutes with someone they may not know well, to an audience of unknown composition and size. I also don't want to force anyone to publicly volunteer identities that could lead to them being harassed online. No one owes me that, and fans of color deserve time to talk about their history and experiences holistically and with joy in the same way that white fans do, without the fear of backlash as much as is possible.

In my real life I've worked professionally with online communities, and I've seen first-hand the damage that can be done, especially to Black community members, when proper moderation and other guardrails aren't put in place to protect them from hate online. I've seen the same happen in fandom; for just one example, I was active in the Arrow and Flash fandoms, and racism and abuse in those spaces forced visible Black fans I knew out of the community.

If a fan of color comes to me and says, for instance, that they want to talk about racism in X fandom because it's hugely impacted their experience in the community, I'm going to work very closely with them to do what I can to protect their fannish identities to avoid any pile-ons, harassment, or abuse that could result. In fact, I'll likely do this regardless of what they want to talk about, because unfortunately it's not uncommon for abuse to happen even when marginalized folks talk about totally mundane things. My experience with online communities means that I always try to prepare for the absolute worst, and then be pleasantly surprised if the best happens.

For this podcast, here are some of the strategies I plan to use to protect the folks who come on the podcast (and I'm absolutely open to other strategies or tools from folks with experience in this realm): using pseudonyms for guests, avoiding specific or identifying details in narratives when needed, limiting the places where the podcast will be available (for example, only on podcast platforms and not places like YouTube), and forcing all feedback that comes in about the podcast through me first, which I will then delete or pass on as makes sense.

So that's it! I know there's a lot here, but I hope it's helpful. Again -- I so appreciate how thoughtfully, kindly, and inclusively everyone has approached this podcast. <3

[fandom-oldpodcast]

Updates!

I’m surprised, thrilled, and amazed at the interest and enthusiasm people have shown for Fandom Old! Thank you so much for your help and patience, I appreciate it so much.

You’re all suggesting excellent topics, so I’m going to go through the intro post’s notes in the next week or so and start gathering those. I’ll put together a separate post with an updated topics list because I think it’s fun to see the breadth of knowledge and experiences our fandom community has to offer.

I’m also going to be sharing more information in the next week or so with folks who’ve shown interest in coming on the show. As I mentioned before, I’m especially interested in chatting with with people who’ve been active in different fandom spaces than mine and / or that often get overlooked in fandom histories, so fans of color, queer and trans fans, and older fans (50+). If you’ve raised your hand, thank you! I’ll be in touch with more info soon.

More info on the plan:

I work full-time, so interviews and editing happens at night and on-weekends. As I was planning the podcast, I knew I’d want this to be a sustainable project, so my plan is to have an initial 12ish-episode season and see what’s working and what’s not, tweak anything that needs tweaking, and then start planning the next season, assuming all goes well.

I also want to make sure that the podcast is published on a consistent schedule, so I want to have a good chunk of episodes fully completed before I published the first one live, while also having most (if not all) guests scheduled for the season. I have several already scheduled, so realistically that means it’ll probably be at least a few weeks before the podcast debuts and possibly as much as a month. (I’d love to move more quickly, but as one person, that’s probably impossible).

Lastly, I plan for the show to be available wherever you get your podcasts (except for maybe on Audible, because I’m not sure how that works),

Thank you again, all!

[fandom-oldpodcast]

Your fandom topics for the podcast have already been discussed to death on every other fandom podcast. What are you going to offer that's different?

Honestly, possibly not much! I’m just a fan, and this is a labor of love. I love fandom, and I love listening to people talk about themselves and things they’re passionate about, but I’m just a regular person who’s been fanning for a long time.

At most I was hoping that a few people would like it and want to be guests and think of it as a “yay! more cake!” situation, and I’m genuinely surprised and delighted that there are other people who are interested in listening.

I’ll do my best to make this fun and interesting and a source of joy, but it’s definitely a good idea to keep in mind that I am absolutely, 100% not an authority on anything, just a nerd who likes to talk to people who are. If you’re not interested or have low expectations, I totally get it!

[fandom-oldpodcast]

@geneeste here - I made a joke and accidentally started a podcast. 😂

About the Podcast

Fandom Old is meant to be a fun, conversational podcast about fandom from the perspective of folks who’ve been here a while (or from folks who feel like old fannish souls). We’ll rant, trade wisdom, and reminisce about times gone by.

I’m personally a history nerd, so I’m especially interested in uncovering and recording fandom history as experienced by you (and really any fan in any historical fannish spaces, especially ones I didn’t experience personally because of my age, identity, or chosen fandoms). Fans (and fandom) are endlessly interesting to me, and I’d like to capture and share the parts that might have been forgotten or overlooked.

Main Themes / Topics

Below is a non-exhaustive list of topics I and others have suggested for the main theme of an episode. If you’d like to be a guest to talk about one (or more!) of these topics (or about something not listed here), please let me know so I can send you info!

Aside from the first topic, these are in no specific order:

What does it mean to be Fandom Old? (Episode 1)

Dana Scully, MSR vs. No Romo Usenet Wars, Chris Carter is Trash

The Gossamer Archive

Webrings (AKA The Era of Chaotic Fandom)

Portmanteau Ship Names

Our Fandom Lexicon / Our Favorite Fannish Terms

Character/Reader POV fics

Mary Sues

“Problematic” ships / fandom / purity culture

Tumblr Dashcon 2014 (and the Ball Pit)

Fanfiction.net

Fan-written Alternate Seasons

LiveJournal

MsScribe Saga

Fanfic Disclaimers (and why we don’t need them anymore, AKA AO3 rocks)

Anne Rice, Diana Gabaldon, and The Era of Vindictive Canon Owners

How discovering a fandom real-time v later changes understanding of canon

ALSO: please spread the word! I obviously have my fannish spaces here and on Twitter, but I'd love to chat with people outside those bubbles, especially folks that have been around fandom for a while and have stories to tell.

[fandom-oldpodcast]

I don’t think I can tag them, but someone brought up an important point in the comments — thank you, friend!

The screenshotted bit up there was made to a specific group chat, and I intentionally used neutral language in the actual description of the podcast in the post, but it’s definitely worth stating explicitly: the podcast is most definitely open to fandom olds of all genders!

@geneeste here - I made a joke and accidentally started a podcast. 😂

About the Podcast

Fandom Old is meant to be a fun, conversational podcast about fandom from the perspective of folks who’ve been here a while (or from folks who feel like old fannish souls). We’ll rant, trade wisdom, and reminisce about times gone by.

I’m personally a history nerd, so I’m especially interested in uncovering and recording fandom history as experienced by you (and really any fan in any historical fannish spaces, especially ones I didn’t experience personally because of my age, identity, or chosen fandoms). Fans (and fandom) are endlessly interesting to me, and I’d like to capture and share the parts that might have been forgotten or overlooked.

Main Themes / Topics

Below is a non-exhaustive list of topics I and others have suggested for the main theme of an episode. If you’d like to be a guest to talk about one (or more!) of these topics (or about something not listed here), please let me know so I can send you info!

Aside from the first topic, these are in no specific order:

What does it mean to be Fandom Old? (Episode 1)

Dana Scully, MSR vs. No Romo Usenet Wars, Chris Carter is Trash

The Gossamer Archive

Webrings (AKA The Era of Chaotic Fandom)

Portmanteau Ship Names

Our Fandom Lexicon / Our Favorite Fannish Terms

Character/Reader POV fics

Mary Sues

“Problematic” ships / fandom / purity culture

Tumblr Dashcon 2014 (and the Ball Pit)

Fanfiction.net

Fan-written Alternate Seasons

LiveJournal

MsScribe Saga

Fanfic Disclaimers (and why we don’t need them anymore, AKA AO3 rocks)

Anne Rice, Diana Gabaldon, and The Era of Vindictive Canon Owners

How discovering a fandom real-time v later changes understanding of canon

ALSO: please spread the word! I obviously have my fannish spaces here and on Twitter, but I'd love to chat with people outside those bubbles, especially folks that have been around fandom for a while and have stories to tell.

[fandom-oldpodcast]

About the Podcast

Fandom Old is meant to be a fun, conversational podcast about fandom from the perspective of folks who’ve been here a while (or from folks who feel like old fannish souls). We’ll rant, trade wisdom, and reminisce about times gone by.

I’m personally a history nerd, so I’m especially interested in uncovering and recording fandom history as experienced by you (and really any fan in any historical fannish spaces, especially ones I didn’t experience personally because of my age, identity, or chosen fandoms). Fans (and fandom) are endlessly interesting to me, and I’d like to capture and share the parts that might have been forgotten or overlooked.

Main Themes / Topics

Below is a non-exhaustive list of topics I and others have suggested for the main theme of an episode. If you’d like to be a guest to talk about one (or more!) of these topics (or about something not listed here), please let me know so I can send you info!

Aside from the first topic, these are in no specific order:

What does it mean to be Fandom Old? (Episode 1)

Dana Scully, MSR vs. No Romo Usenet Wars, Chris Carter is Trash

The Gossamer Archive

Webrings (AKA The Era of Chaotic Fandom)

Portmanteau Ship Names

Our Fandom Lexicon / Our Favorite Fannish Terms

Character/Reader POV fics

Mary Sues

“Problematic” ships / fandom / purity culture

Tumblr Dashcon 2014 (and the Ball Pit)

Fanfiction.net

Fan-written Alternate Seasons

LiveJournal

MsScribe Saga

Fanfic Disclaimers (and why we don’t need them anymore, AKA AO3 rocks)

Anne Rice, Diana Gabaldon, and The Era of Vindictive Canon Owners

How discovering a fandom real-time v later changes understanding of canon

ALSO: please spread the word! I obviously have my fannish spaces here and on Twitter, but I'd love to chat with people outside those bubbles, especially folks that have been around fandom for a while and have stories to tell.

EDITED TO ADD:

Hey y’all — especially to the trans men who’ve rightly commented on this — I need to apologize to you. The original post had a screenshot of the convo that spurred the idea for the podcast in my group chat in which I mentioned just women and non-binary folks.

I wanted to share where the idea came from, and I didn’t consider that it would exclude folks who I definitely don’t want to exclude. I’ve removed the screenshot. Thank you very much for pointing this out, although I’m very sorry you had to.

I hope you’ll forgive my thoughtlessness — I understand it didn’t feel good to see that and I really regret that I caused those feelings, because I absolutely welcome you.

To be absolutely clear: I’d love for all genders to be guests or listeners (or to contribute however you like)!