#i very much like how my sims look now and am happy with it
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Walking Away Like Action Movie Hero Boy
If I could edit at all I would totally put explosions and whatnot behind her
It's been an excited few days for the Holiday household (almost everyone has a different last name but I'm just choosing one).
Continuing from the last post's tragedy, Fifi came back! Ali was the first to greet her, despite her smelliness.
Demi even broke her arm to greet Fifi, which shows that she really does care about her.
Speaking of Demi, it's a few days before her wedding, and she and Shawna are being very flirty about it. It's so much that Shawna hasn't even had the time to re-develop her fear of Demi cheating on her, which is really nice of her to not do.
The next today, I decided to have Ali join a club (because I've just gotten Get Together and want to play it), and she set out to join the Paragons.
Things went pretty smoothly, which was nice, and she managed to become good friends with Sofia, and was able to join the club.
(can i just say as an aside that ali is so freaking pretty oh my gosh)
I feel like Sofia was pretty happy to have a new friend, because she took Ali aside a few times to share memes and photos, which Ali liked.
Once she was in, she actually had the club leader herself welcome her to the club, which I think went straight to Ali's head. She was very excited afterwards.
Going back to Shawna, it occurred to her that since her wedding was like,, literally the next day, she needed to officially break up with Aili. She hadn't really talked to her much since meeting Demi, especially after how mean Aili had been to Shawna.
Aili agreed to meet with her, but she clearly thought it was for a different reason.
But Shawna wanted to cut the chase, and after sitting her down, promptly broke up with her.
"It's just not working out, we haven't talked in seasons, it was you not me, plus I'm getting married tomorrow to a Sim who isn't mean to me."
Then it was time for the big event: the wedding itself.
It started off fairly well, with Eva immediately needing to pee, Ali making a social media update, and Tobor breaking down promptly.
After that though, the catering came in and made some food and the cake, and Demi and Shawna went off to the arch to officially get married.
It was a very successful wedding, most of the guests eventually wandered over to see the event, no scandals or betrayals, a very happy day for the two of them. I'm happy for them both, and I think they're going to be very successful themselves.
Now that they are married, I'm going to go back to Flat, Flo, and Ruby, which is probably good timing seeing as Trigger apparently aged up recently. Hopefully Susie isn't too far behind. I would like her to stay a child a little bit longer. (She was almost certainly born too early for everything to work out but it's fine it's fine it's fineeeee)
#also throughout these pictures you are seeing me discover and finaggle with cc in real time#between the skin and eye defaults to the skin overlays and stuff#but i think i have it now where I want it#i very much like how my sims look now and am happy with it#so far i haven't downloaded any clothes or build/buy items but i did get some new packs bc of the sale#the sims 4#ts4#simblr#the sims 4 gameplay#the sims 4 screenshots#the sims 4 legacy#sims 4#ts4 gameplay#the brokes#images have alt text
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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champagne problems: part two
pairing: jake sim x f reader
genre: enemies to lovers, rich kids au, fake dating au, college au, angst, fluff
part two word count: 33.2k
part two warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, jealousy, a kiss or two, my incessant need to make sunghoon a figure skater in everything I write, family drama, use of the american (usa) university system
soundtrack: boom - dpr live / bad idea! - girl in red / blood on the floor - kuiper / calico - dpr ian / comme de garçons (like the boys) - rina sawayama / lust - chase atlantic
part one can be found on my masterlist!
note: reuploaded from my old blog with the same name! welcome back if you've been here before, and enjoy the conclusion to part one if you're new. happy reading ♡
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆ ⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
The second son of a wealthy family, Jake Sim has gotten used to always standing in the shadow of his older brother. From grades to girls to talks of becoming future CEO of the Sim Corporation, he’s no stranger to coming in second place. So when an opportunity arises for Jake to finally have the one thing his brother can’t and best him once and for all, he knows he’d be a fool not to take it.
There are only two problems. The first is that the thing his brother wants so badly isn’t a thing at all. It’s you, semi-estranged daughter of the Sims’ closest and most long-standing business partner.
The second is that Jake Sim can’t fucking stand you.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆ ⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
PART TWO
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆ ⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
Jake Sim has been staring at his philosophy homework for the last twenty minutes when a stack of pastel pink papers slides across the table towards him.
“What is this?” Much like most interactions he’s had with you, your sudden presence at Jake's favorite coffee shop is entirely unexplained. Hell, he’s not even sure how you found him here. He’d ask, if he thought you’d give him a straightforward answer.
But Jake knows better at this point. So with a grumble, he takes out his headphones instead and prepares for a conversion that will probably put him in a worse mood than he started it in.
Sliding down into the seat across from him without an invitation or the courtesy of an explanation, the only thing you say is, “You know, I really am starting to get a bit worried about your future success.” Nodding at the stack of papers you’ve just put on the table in front of him, you add, “How are you a third-year business major that still can’t recognize a contract?”
“I know what a contract is.” Jake defends, eyeing the papers warily, reaching out to pick them up. “But usually they’re not printed out on pink paper.” Really, who do you think you are? Elle Woods? And where did you even get this stuff? Jake doubts that this shade of pink cardstock came from the shelves of your local office supply store. Bringing the paper up closer to his nose, he levels you with a disbelieving look. “Hold on, is this paper scented?”
“Don’t put your gross nose on it! That paper is custom ordered.”
Of course it is. “Why the fuck did you print out a contract on custom ordered lavender-scented paper?”
You have the audacity to look affronted. “You should be thanking me.” With half a mind to snatch it out of his hands, you instead tell him with a glare, “Lavender is a very calming scent and probably the only thing stopping me from strangling you right now, y’know, since this entire thing is your fault.”
Setting the papers back on the table with a little more force than necessary, Jake isn’t in the mood to play your favorite game of beating around the bush.“What entire thing? What kind of contract is this?”
“I’m so glad you asked.” Your tone says otherwise. “Since someone’s loser brother couldn’t keep his mouth shut, just like I predicted, and someone’s mother found out about someone’s unfortunate use of the B word–”
“Hold on,” Jake’s brow creases in confusion. “I never called anyone a bitch–”
“Boyfriend,” you clarify, cutting him off. “I figured we better lay out some ground rules. You know, if we’re really gonna go for this.”
“Go for what?” Jake is still lost. “It’s just a family dinner–”
Shaking your head, you paint a perfect picture of disappointment when you tell him, “Your lack of foresight is astounding. Truly. Forget econ, I’m surprised you managed to pass classes that involve basic logic or any kind of critical thinking skills.”
Across from you, Jake does his best to close his laptop screen inconspicuously, keeping his untouched philosophy homework hidden from view.
Then he returns, “And you don’t think you’re overreacting? Like, at all? What do we need a contract for?” Not that the lavender-scented abomination looks particularly legally binding to begin with. “Like I said, it’s just dinner–”
“For now,” you interrupt. “It’s just dinner for now. But two days ago, it was just a fundraiser, and to the best of our families’ knowledge, you were just my plus-one.” Giving him your best fake smile, you add, “And like the person at this table who has an IQ higher than a goldfish predicted, things are already getting messy. This,” you nod to the contract, “will help us clean them up before James or my mother realize that everything about you and me is nothing but one big lie.”
Jake sighs. Tries to defend himself even though he knows it’s futile. “Look, how was I supposed to know that my brother would open his big mouth to my mom?” And it really is just terrible luck all around – that James couldn’t keep a secret, that he chose to divulge it to the one person that actually cares about Jake’s love life and not just its potential effects on the family business.
In fact, in Jake's opinion, his mother cares a little too much. The messages that started Sunday morning haven’t stopped since then. It’s a big part of the reason why his phone is currently face-down on the table that separates the two of you. Jake is not about to let you see anything that could potentially inflate your ego any more.
His mother, however, seems to have other ideas. Right now, his message thread with her looks more like a one-sided fan club.
Mom: I can’t wait to meet her! I remember her as a little kid. It’s been so long since I’ve seen her.
Mom: Does she have any dietary restrictions or allergies? I’m starting to put together the menu for this weekend.
Mom: Does she prefer white or red wine?
Mom: Never mind the last message. I’ll just pull out some of both.
Mom: I just stumbled across a recent picture of her. Wow, she’s even more beautiful than I remember! I hope you’re treating her well.
Mom: Can you send me your apartment address again? I want to mail you something.
Mom: Oh, and what’s ___’s favorite kind of cookie?
Mom: Forget it. I’ll just give them to you this weekend to take with you.
Suppressing a wince, Jake decides to put his mother’s incessant prying to the side for the time being. Right now, he needs to build the most bulletproof defense of his intelligence and common sense as possible before you keep shooting holes in it. But contrary to his beliefs, you’re not here to argue with him about where the blame for your unfortunate situation lies, at least not for the most part.
You tell him as much. “I’m not here to yell at you about how this is all your fault.”
Jake raises an eyebrow, lips flat. “Could’ve fooled me.”
“Don’t worry,” you assure him. “I got my anger out already. Your picture’s right in the middle of my dartboard.” Across the table from him, you smile sweetly, imitate throwing a dart directly at the center of his forehead.
Jake can’t tell if you’re kidding or not, and somehow that’s more unnerving.
“So what, you don’t need to hear me say that everything’s my fault? You’d rather get it in writing instead?” Jake glances at the forgotten contract. Suddenly, a wave of panic crests in his mind. “If you’re trying to sue me–”
You roll your eyes before he can finish the empty threat. “Again, that’s not what this is for.” Looking at the papers, you tilt your head, considering. “Although it’s not too late for an amendment…”
Jake cuts that train of thought off as quickly as he can. “Okay, what exactly is it for then?”
You don’t miss a beat. “Like I said, just like someone with more than two functioning brain cells predicted, your little slip of the tongue made things messy. So if I’m gonna save your ass and pretend to be your girlfriend in front of your family this weekend, we’re gonna need some kind of written agreement about how this is going to play out. Think of it as an agreement, something to outline the…” you pause, weighing your words, “expectations on both of our ends.”
A contract. A fake dating contract. It’s all Jake can do not to burst out laughing. He’s trying to egg you on a little, piss you off and push your buttons like you’re so good at doing to him when he tells you, “Y’know, it’s kind of funny how seriously you’re taking this.”
You don’t understand how he can be so blase about it all. Sure, maybe the contract was a little overkill, but the two of you are about to start pretending to be dating, to be a couple, in front of your families. It’s not something that you’re willing to walk into blindly.
“Really? I think it’s kind of funny the whole reason I’m in this mess is because of you.” Suddenly, there’s a reignited fire in your eyes. Jake almost regrets his taunting. “In fact, I think it’s absolutely hilarious–”
“Okay, okay,” He can sense a losing battle when he sees it. Not wanting to rehash your argument from earlier or put himself at the center of any more dartboard target practices, Jake surrenders. And then he frowns. Reaching for the stack of papers again, he scans the first page. Trying to make sense of all the legal jargon and stylized formatting, he’s hesitant when he glances at you and slow to admit, “To be completely honest with you, I’m actually not that good with contracts–”
“Oh my god.”
“So, do you think you could go over the highlights for me?”
“You are absolutely insufferable.”
“I’m sorry,” Jake intones flatly. “Are you talking to me or the mirror you spend five hours a day looking into?”
You kind of have to hand it to him. Ever since your run in with his brother, his insults have been landing a lot better. That one was actually pretty good. Not that you’d ever admit it.
“Anyway,” you glare instead. “The highlights.” Nodding to the contract you spent most of last night writing up, you explain, “The first page is just basic contract language. The actual content of our proposed agreement starts on the second page.”
Following your explanation, Jake sets the first page aside, makes quick work of skimming the second. Or at least he tries to. It proves a difficult task, however, when he gets a little caught up on the very first line.
“Really?” You’re not quite sure what kind of expression is on his face when he looks up at you. It’s an odd mix of shock, disbelief, and perhaps, if the sudden flush on his cheekbones is anything to go by, embarrassment. “Rule number one is no kissing?”
Across from him, you just rest your chin in your palm. “I know I’m crushing your dreams and all, but don’t be so surprised.”
Jake’s glare is easier to read this time. “That is not what I meant. It’s just… I don’t know.” It seems so obvious. He didn’t think you’d feel the need to actually write it out like he’s about to start trying to plant ones on you every hour of the day. “It’s not what I was expecting.”
“I mean, I don’t know how family dinners work at your house, but mine usually don’t involve makeout sessions between courses.”
“Exactly,” Jake returns. “It hardly seems like something we need in writing when it’s more than easy to avoid.”
Still, you don’t back down. “Don’t blame me for erring on the side of caution. We’re pretending to be a couple in front of your brother. And we both know that you don’t exactly make the most rational decisions when he starts pushing your buttons, boyfriend.”
The use of the pet name is intentional. It’s a reminder that Jake can’t be trusted where his older brother is concerned. Not when in the heat of the moment, he would say or do just about anything to get under James’ skin in the same way James has been getting under his for the last twenty-one odd years.
“Point taken.” Jake can’t exactly argue that one.
And in all honesty, Jake kinda feels like he’s getting off easy, at least with you. Not that he would ever tell you that.
He’s feeling apprehensive about this dinner, yes, and now about being legally bound to you, but he supposes things could be a lot worse. For starters, you’d been much easier to convince than he initially thought. He wasn’t sure what kind of bribes would work on you, how he was going to get you to keep up the facade he started for one more dinner.
Maybe, he thought, he would be able to leverage your phone number against you in a new way. He could promise not to pass it along to James, but only as long as you did him the solid of playing the part of his girlfriend, this time at a dinner with his family.
But that felt a little too much like blackmail, even for him. So instead, he had told you the truth.
Listening to the phone ring after clicking on your number, it was all Jake could do not to throw his phone across the room in anticipation of your rage. But then you answered, and it all came spilling out.
He told you that James could not be trusted with secrets but could absolutely be trusted to do everything in his power to ruin Jake’s life, even if unintentionally. He explained how his mother was now unfortunately involved, that your initial plan to just mention each other occasionally and claim that things fizzled by the time the clock struck midnight on New Year’s was no longer viable.
You had remained completely silent for a long pause. Too long. Jake was suddenly very grateful that he took the precaution of having this conversation over the phone. Mostly because he was pretty sure if he tried to tell you face-to-face, you would cause him actual bodily harm. But instead of threats or curses or even sarcasm, Jake had listened as a long sigh came through the other line and then–
“Yeah, my mom has been asking me about you too.” Much to his shock, you were resigned to the fact, not angry at the news. And you had told him, “I’ll come to your family dinner. Just let me… Let me think about the best way to go about this.”
Less than twenty-four hours have passed since that phone conversation, and Jake shouldn’t be as surprised as he is that your idea of the best way to go about this is printed out for him on custom pink lavender-scented paper.
Deciding to leave the kissing debacle alone for the moment, he reads through the rest of your so-called rules. With more of an idea as to what to expect, nothing shocks him quite as much as the initial line.
He reads the second section wordlessly: Both parties will do everything in their power, to a reasonable extent, to maintain the image of a false relationship in the presence of family members and those with immediate connections to them (including, but not limited to employees, business partners, etc).
The third section covers another base: Friends and other acquaintances of both parties are not to be informed of the arrangement. Neither party is under obligation to maintain the lie of relationship with friends or acquaintances unless deemed necessary to maintain secrecy of the relationship.
Jake glances up with a furrow in his brow. You clarify before he has the chance to ask, “Basically it’s saying that you don’t have to lie to your friends and tell them that we’re dating, unless they get suspicious or start asking. Just don’t tell them we aren’t. And absolutely do not tell them about the contract.”
Jake nods, moves to the next line.
Neither party may involve themself in a romantic relationship of any nature with another individual for the duration of this contract. Both parties are to avoid to the best of their ability any situation in which it could be interpreted that they are in a romantic relationship of any nature with another individual for the duration of this contract.
“So essentially just no dating other people?” Jake asks.
“Right.” You nod. “And try to avoid getting into situations that make it look like you might be dating someone else. I’m not gonna make you agree to stop hooking up with people or anything.” You look mildly ill at the mere proximity of Jake and the term ‘hooking up.’ “Just, y’know, be discreet about it.”
Jake looks up at you. “I’m not hooking up with other people.”
You cringe. “Thanks, but I really don’t need the gory details of your sex life. Do you understand the rule or not?”
Jake nods. “Yeah, I get it.”
“Great,” you move the contract aside, setting a new stack of papers down on the table. Also printed on pink paper, this pile is considerably thicker. “That’s about it for the contract, then. This,” you gesture to the new set of papers, “is for you to memorize.”
Jake would be a little less wary if it didn't look as dense as an encyclopedia. “What is it?”
“A list of everything a real boyfriend should know about me.” Jake waits for you to finish the joke, to land a punchline, but you’re entirely serious when you add, “Think of it as your ___ cheat sheet. I’ll need one for you too, of course. Preferably in the next couple of days so that I can get it down before dinner this weekend.”
Hesitantly, Jake picks up the first page. Scanning over yet another meticulously formatted document printed on – he sniffs again – yep, lavender-scented paper, Jake privately thinks that this may actually come in handy. If nothing else, he’s sure he could reference it for some of his mom’s questions instead of needing to guess at your responses.
It’ll help with the basics, at least. Jake is pretty sure you wouldn’t have bothered to include things like your favorite kind of cookie in there.
But then he glances again at the stack of papers, and more specifically, how how thick it is. He looks a little closer at the page in his hand. Single spaced. He flips it over. Double sided.
Looking over the back of the page in his hand, he forces himself to actually read some of what you’ve written. He doesn’t get far before he’s leveling you with a disbelieving look.
“Is this a prank?”
You have the gall to look confused. “Not even a little bit.”
Jake wants to tear his hair out. Because what the actual fuck? “I really don’t think anyone is going to ask me about your third favorite shade of Dior lip oil–”
“They might. And think of how suspicious it would be if you got me one as a Christmas gift or something and the color washed me out.”
Across from you, Jake’s eyes just widen. And then he’s weighing your words.
Despite the ridiculousness, your argument does raise a point. Albeit not the one you intended.
“Christmas gift,” Jake repeats slowly. As of now, you’re already over halfway through fall semester, which means the holidays will be approaching in just a couple of short months. Suddenly, they seem a lifetime away. “Does this contract of yours have an end date?”
“Oh, right.” Reaching for the contract again, you turn to the final page, lay it on the table in front of Jake. “Feel free to propose something else,” you offer, “but I put the termination date as January first of next year. I figured that we could use this arrangement to get us through all of the inevitable holiday parties. My family always hosts a giant one on New Year’s Eve, so I thought we could go to that together and then call it off the next day. What do you think?” You turn to him. “Too long?”
Jake discards your insane list of personal preferences for the time being and picks up the last page of the contract. At the bottom, he locates the verbiage in the final section, just above the two blank signature lines neither of you have filled yet.
This contract will be terminated as of January 1 of the coming year.
Jakes stares at the date for a moment. It feels odd to see an expiration date on your relationship, regardless of the fact that it’s all a facade. Seems strange to be starting something with the sole intention of ending it. But he can hardly voice those feelings, so instead he taunts, “You wanna be stuck with me that long, huh? Just can’t get enough?”
Your lips flatten as you reach for your phone. “I will literally text your brother right now.”
“Nice try,” Jake calls your bluff. “You just told me that you didn’t want your mom knowing that you lied about dating me either.”
“No,” you correct, dangling your phone between your fingers. “What I said was that I want her off my back when it comes to my dating life and who I spend my time with. It wouldn’t matter even a little bit to her whether that’s you or James. In fact, she would probably actually like him bet–”
“Whatever.” If Jake is suddenly sulking, he figures that no one needs to be aware of it. “I know you like me more than him.”
“Incorrect. I hate him more than I hate you.”
Jake stares at you blankly. “Is there a difference?”
“Obviously,” you scoff.
“Whatever. You’re still willing to tolerate me until New Year’s.”
“Is that actually high praise to you? Do we need to start working on your self-confidence too?”
Insult aside, Jake supposes that your deadline does make sense. Although family obligations are intermittent in nature, it would be nice to have a go-to plan for every event and dinner and interaction with his older brother that he’s forced into between now and the New Year.
Honestly, the thought of having you at his upcoming family dinner has made Jake’s steps the last two days feel a little lighter. If anything, he thinks that you’ll be a great distraction for his father. Something to talk about besides the gory details of Jake’s many failures.
It’s a chance to be impressive in the eyes of his family, even if only in some small capacity, even if only until New Year’s.
A moment later, Jake warily eyes the pen you hand him. “Let me guess, pink ink?”
“Obviously not.” You roll your eyes. “How would that show up on pink paper?”
So Jake’s signature is written on the first dotted line of the contract with the matte black ink of your shockingly normal ballpoint pen. Moments later, your name joins on the second line, right next to his.
And it’s as if something shifts in the air, as if something suddenly feels a little heavier, slightly more weighted. The following silence that passes between the two of you feels like a finale of sorts. The end of something and the beginning of another.
Looking at the boy across from you, it feels strange to say that for all intents and purposes, even if they’re fabricated, you’ll be dating him until the New Year. Showing up on his arm and laughing at his jokes and filling in the quiet moments with little displays of affection, practiced bouts of intimacy.
It’s weird. It’s daunting. It’s not something you have any clue how to navigate, even if the contract gives you a false sense of security, of control.
You break the moment by glancing at the clock that hangs above the front door of the coffee shop. Suddenly, your mind is elsewhere. On the other part of your original agreement. “Your first tutoring session is tonight, right?” Jungwon mentioned it to you in passing.
“Yeah,” Jake nods. If his voice has an odd sudden hoarseness to it, you’ll both ignore it for now. “Why?”
“What time are you supposed to meet him?”
“Six-thirty.”
A second glance at the clock confirms, “It’s six thirty-five.”
“Shit!” Jake is suddenly frantic, panicked as he rushes to repack his bag and salvage what’s left of a good first impression on his tutor.
It hardly registers when you remind him, “Don’t forget to make me a cheat sheet of things I should know about you!” Already halfway out the door, the only acknowledgement you get is a half hearted nod.
Frowning at the mess of papers in front of you, scattered from Jake’s hasty exit, you make quick work of rearranging your newly minted contract in the correct order.
“Men,” you whisper, to no one in particular. Even though it doesn’t land on the ears you want it to. Even though Jake is too far gone to hear it.
…
Instead, what Jake hears a handful of minutes later, is a less than friendly reminder from the librarian at the front desk that the university library is a quiet area and that running is strictly prohibited. Still out of breath from the way he just bolted across the entire campus, all Jake can offer her is an apologetic nod.
He pulls out his phone to double-check the brief message thread between him and Jungwon, to confirm the exact location of their first tutoring session.
Yang Jungwon (Econ Tutor) [3:02 pm]: Study room 103 on the first floor
After that, there are only two other messages – one being Jake’s hasty, misspelled apology for being nearly fifteen minutes late, to which he received:
Yang Jungwon (Econ Tutor) [6:41 pm]: No problem! I’m here
After navigating his way to the reservable first floor study rooms, Jake finds himself in front of Room 103. Suddenly, a wave of self-consciousness sweeps away any adrenaline fueled by his lateness. Any lingering annoyance brought on by a conversation with you.
Should he knock? Is there a certain etiquette to this? How embarrassed should he be that the person waiting for him with both better punctuality and significantly better grades is two years his junior, according to the sparse information you gave him?
In the end, Jake decides it would be weird to knock and chokes down all his other uncertainty. Opening the door slowly, he nods at the boy already inside.
“Hi, Jungwon?”
If his tutor is at all put off by Jake’s lateness, he does a great job of hiding it. Jungwon is all smiles when he says, “That’s me. You must be Jake.” Jake is still stuck halfway in the door like he wants to hold onto the opportunity to bolt, just in case he needs it. Jungwon picks up on some of his hesitation. “Come on in.”
Jake does so quietly, setting his stuff down as he slides into the seat across from Jungwon. As he pulls out his laptop, Jake glances at his tutor. All smiles and friendliness, the oversized hoodie he wears looks comfortable enough to fall asleep in. Altogether, he kind of reminds him of an overeager puppy. Or at least he would, if his features weren’t so distinctly feline.
“Sorry again for being late,” Jake mumbles, opening a Word document. “I completely lost track of time.” More like his time was completely overtaken by someone that does a great job of consuming all his senses and sends his mind spinning sideways, but Jake can hardly say that.
Just like he did over text, Jungwon doesn’t appear bothered in the slightest by his tardiness. “It really is no problem. I’m glad you found the room alright. It’s kind of like a maze back here.”
He’s being nice again. It’s a single hallway with a handful of clearly labeled doors. But Jake isn’t one to look kindness in the mouth, especially when he’s still sitting on a pile of discomfort. Instead, he figures it’s as good a time as any to express his gratitude.
“Thanks again for doing this, and for keeping it on the down low. ___ mentioned that you’re great at econ.”
Across from him, Jungwon shrugs. “I’m good with numbers and data and stuff like that. And I had to get good at studying pretty quick, since I’ve been on academic scholarships since middle school.”
That tidbit swirls in the air for a moment, falls through the room like a bad premonition before settling uncomfortably in Jake’s gut. It makes him wonder, makes him question a lot of things.
What would he be like, Jake wonders, if his family name wasn’t a safety net, a security blanket in its own right? If he had to fight to earn things like the university admission letter he took for granted? Resented, even, since it was yet another choice made for him by his father.
Would he be like Jungwon, tutoring older students for extra cash? Forgiving people when they’re late and convincing himself that years of staring at math problems until his eyes felt like sandpaper is the same as being ‘good with numbers and stuff like that’?
And Jake is assuming, of course. Maybe Jungwon is just good with numbers, has a natural inclination for economics.
But the only thing Jake has ever had a natural inclination for is doing what he’s told and then blaming the world around him when he hates himself a little for it.
All at once, he feels like an observer in his own life. An external force that does nothing but shake the snowglobe and wait to see where the dust settles, where everything lands.
But his self-prescribed identity crisis is not Jungwon’s problem, and Jake is at least self-aware enough to know that any hardships in his life likely pale in comparison to Jungwon’s. It’s not like measuring misery has ever done Jake any good, and it feels unfair for him to be jumping to conclusions and stacking their lives against each other when all Jungwon is doing is trying to make conversation.
So Jake decides to save the psychoanalysis for a sleepless night and is nothing but neutral when he chooses to reply to the first part of Jungwon’s comment, “Well, I’m grateful that you’re willing to help me. I’m kind of a disaster when it comes to econ.”
“So I hear,” Jungwon smiles, and Jake thinks that maybe him and Jungwon will get along just fine, whether they have the common ground of economics or not. “Don’t let ___ tease you too hard about it, though. I used to help her, too. Back in high school.”
And if Jake was trying to stop himself from feeling sorry for Jungwon, he doesn’t have to try for very long. He suddenly thinks friendship will be a very hard thing to form. Mostly because he has the distinct sense Jungwon is reflecting on your high school days together rather fondly. Maybe a little too fondly. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Jungwon nods. “I’m a freshman, so I’m a couple years younger than you guys,” he sighs like it’s a terrible thing to be and Jake has never been more appreciative of his own birth date, “but she’s been friends with my older sister for years now. ___ was always pretty good at most subjects, but physics gave her a run for her money, so I helped her a bit when I could.”
It makes sense, he supposes. Jungwon was your physics tutor, so you knew you could recommend him with confidence. With all your first hand experience.
“You two are close, then?” Jake hates the way he sounds almost defensive. Hates the way he doesn’t recognize the odd feeling that’s beginning to swirl in his gut unpleasantly.
“We’ve definitely gotten closer,” Jungwon nods. Jake doesn’t think he’s imagining the sudden flush on the younger boy’s cheeks. “Especially since I started university here. My sister decided to get her degree abroad, but ___ and I have still stayed in touch even without her around as the middleman, y’know?”
“Right,” Jake agrees. To what, he’s not sure. He has no idea if you have the same feelings towards your relationship with Jungwon, if you’d corroborate the fact that the two of you are getting closer, if your cheeks would get a little color in them while you talked about it.
It strikes Jake then that he really doesn't know anything about you. At least not anything substantial. And while the dictionary of personal details you’ve compiled is still sitting in his bag, he doubts it will divulge things related to relationships. Things he’s suddenly curious about.
He can at least feel confident in the fact that you’re not currently dating anyone. He wouldn’t have just signed a contract if you were. But that still leaves a lot of gray area, a lot of questions.
Are there any recent exes he should know about? Messy situationships that would be glad to land a few punches on him if word of your supposed relationship were to accidentally get out?
Jake has no idea, and even less of a clue as to how to find out. But he doesn’t like the way those uncertainties settle in his gut. And he doesn’t like the way Jungwon says your name.
Jungwon must mistake Jake’s sudden silence as passion for fixing his grades, because the next thing he says is, “Sorry, I kind of went on a tangent there.” His apologetic smile does nothing to quell the riot in Jake’s mind. “Anyway,” he opens his laptop. “Economics. I figured we could start by looking at the upcoming assignment to see which parts are trickiest for you and go from there.” Glancing at the older boy, he asks, “Or did you have a different idea?”
“No,” Jake shakes his head. “That sounds good to me.” And he shouldn't say it, but, “I’ve got plans this weekend, so I’m hoping to get as much of this done as I can before then.”
“Oh,” Jungwon asks. It’s more of an effort to be polite than genuine curiosity. “Anything fun?”
Jake shouldn’t. Not considering the conversation you just had. Not considering the contract he just signed.
“I don’t know. I can’t decide if I’m more nervous or excited.”
He really, really, shouldn’t. But–
“I’m taking ___ to officially meet my parents.”
The way Jungwon falters is barely perceptible. Jake only notices because he’s watching for it.
Jungwon’s brow creases for a moment, putting the pieces together until he realizes that they definitely only fit one way. “You two are dating?”
Jake tries not to be offended at the shock in his voice. “Is it that surprising?”
“I mean, kind of.” Jungwon is still reeling a bit. “When she mentioned that you were looking for a tutor, she said you were just a friend.”
And now Jake has to think of how to play his cards here. He needs to tread carefully, choose his words wisely. There are too many ways he could back himself into a corner, accidentally tell a lie he can’t talk his way out of. That’s probably, definitely, why you made the point of saying the two of you should leave your friends out of the arrangement entirely. Should only divulge the details if they start poking around first. Which Jungwon was definitely not doing.
Ultimately, Jake decides to leave his explanation as vague as possible, hoping that the less he reveals, the less Jungwon will be able to poke at it until his lie crumbles and leaves nothing but the truth in its wake.
Shrugging, he says, “We’ve been keeping it pretty quiet. You know how rumors can be.” They can catch fire at the first sign of wind. Can spread before there’s any chance of controlling them. Kind of like the one he’s single handedly spreading right now.
“Oh,” is all Jungwon says. And despite himself, Jake does feel kind of bad for the kid. He feels even worse when Jungwon finds his smile again a moment later and adds, “Well, I hope it all goes good for you. ___’s a great girl.”
But all that guilt is pushed to the side when that odd, unpleasant feeling at the bottom of Jake’s gut releases a little bit of tension, heaves a giant sigh of relief.
“Yeah,” Jake nods without thinking. In his mind, he sees a gold dress, a black marker, his name in your handwriting. There’s a sliver of truth there, albeit a small one, when he agrees, “She is.”
…
Saturday night puts you back in the passenger seat of Jake’s car, a sense of deja vu overcoming you as he navigates out of your apartment building’s parking lot and onto the highway. Although this time, he did manage to avoid an argument with your doorman. Mostly because Jake Sim is now a name on your list of approved visitors.
And there are more differences to be found. Tonight, you’ve traded your evening gown for a pair of dark wash jeans and a sweater that Jake insists his mother will love. The aged bottle of red wine you brought as a gift for his parents has a bow wrapped around its neck where it sits on the back seat of Jake’s car.
If nothing else, Jake has to applaud your insistence that you not show up as an empty-handed guest. Your commitment to the facade is truly admirable, even if it is motivated by the contract you keep safe and sound in the top drawer of your desk.
And finally, as opposed to the drive to your family’s fundraiser, this commute is far from silent.
“Good,” you nod, praising Jake’s most recent answer. Despite his initial protests, he did his studying. And if his string of correct responses is anything to go by, you seem to be a subject he has an easier time grasping than economics. Or perhaps one he simply has more vested interest in. “And my top three favorite colors are?”
“One,” Jake answers seamlessly. “Gold, but only if it’s 24 karat. Two, the exact red of the Hermès Satin Lipstick in shade Rouge H. Three is pink. But not hot pink. You like softer shades, like baby pink.” Like that damn contract.
“Nicely done. My major is?”
“Pre-law,” Jake fills in. “But you’re still undecided on if you’ll attend law school after graduation.”
It’s a tidbit that he finds mildly interesting. He’s not surprised that like him, like James, you’re following in your parents’ footsteps. As the daughter of ridiculously successful lawyers, it’s a career path that makes perfect sense for you.
And the compassion also has him thankful for the partnership between your families, which has undoubtedly done you both some favors. First, Jake suspects that a few under-the-table deals have likely funded more than one of his childhood family vacations. And second, it adds credibility, at least from an outsider’s perspective, to the relationship the two of you are faking.
He does wonder why you’re undecided on law school, though. If law is your field of choice, it seems like a natural progression. Not to mention that as third-year university students, the two of you are running out of time for indecision. Jake is well-acquainted with this particular reality, but it strikes him as out of character that you are as well.
From the outside, at least, you’ve always been an image of perfection to him. Someone who has it all together, who has a ten-year plan and the actual conviction to see it through to the end. Unlike him, who’s still grasping at straws where all matters of his future are concerned.
A fact that he’s reminded of when you say, “You know, I didn’t exactly have high hopes, considering your academic track record, but that was perfect.” You shift in your seat, preparing for a challenge. “Okay, your turn. Quiz me.”
Your work has been undeniably easier. As opposed to the multi-page, double sided, single spaced abomination you handed him a few days ago, the Jake Sim cheat sheet still sitting on your night stand was nothing but a small assortment of facts that fit on a single sheet of paper.
But now, the subject of your major takes Jake from thinking about your future to thinking about the classes you’re currently taking. Which makes him think of something he hasn’t been able to let go of since his first tutoring session a few nights ago. Instead of cooperating, he hands the reins to what’s been weighing on his mind. “Are you taking any physics classes?”
“Ugh,” you groan. “You were doing so well. And you literally just answered that one. I’m a pre-law major, remember?”
But Jake needs to know. Doesn’t quite have the room to think about anything else right now. “Just answer the question.”
The glance you give him is scathing, but you can sense that he’s not going to let it go until he gets his answer. “No, I’m not taking physics.” Jake hates the way that odd feeling in his gut makes a sudden reappearance, hates the way it unclenches at your response. “I haven’t since high school. I hate that stupid subject.”
Still, he can’t stop himself from offering, “Well, if you ever do–”
“Did you listen to anything I just said?”
“I was pretty good at it in high school.” He’s only kind of lying. He was pretty decent at it, at least the times he bothered to finish his homework.
“... Okay?” You still don’t see a point to this sudden detour in the conversation.
“So I could, uh, I could help you out. If you ever have to take it for some reason, I could help with your homework and stuff.”
“Right, because the first person I would go to for homework help is definitely Mr. I Failed Economics Twice.” Jake can hear the sarcasm. He thinks to himself, a little miserably, that if you were actually picking someone to go to, it would probably be the same person tutoring Jake now. Your old physics tutor from high school.
Jake will pretend that the way that makes his blood pressure rise is only because he’s worried Jungwon won’t have as much time for their sessions if he picks you back up as a client.
“Don’t hold econ against me. They’re entirely different subjects–”
“Whatever.” You cut him off. “Who gives a shit about physics? Just quiz me.”
Jake wants to press it. He really does. Wants to ask his real questions, which have a lot less to do with physics and a lot more to do with a certain econ tutor, but it’s not like you’d entertain his curiosity there either. So he relents. “Fine.” Trying to remember what he even wrote on the sheet he gave you, he starts with, “My major is?”
“Business.” Slightly quieter, you mumble, “A questionable choice, if you ask me.”
“Hey!” Jake protests. “I didn’t add any commentary to your ridiculous answers.” And some of them had been ridiculous, indeed. “I mean, seriously. You made me memorize your five favorite necklines.”
“Clearly not, since you put sweetheart and off-the-shoulder in the wrong order.”
Jake just blinks. How are you a real person? “You are actually the most annoying person I have ever met.”
The dig rolls right off your shoulders as you return one of your own. “That’s hardly even an insult, considering the size of your social circle. It’s not my fault you don’t get out much.”
“It’s like you want me to kick you out on the side of the highway–”
“And show up to your family dinner without me? Yeah, sure.”
“Besides, you know that means you’re admitting to being more annoying than Heeseung–”
“On second thought, the side of the highway sounds nice. Feel free to drop me at the next mile marker.”
“Yeah?” Jake taunts, glancing down at your choice in footwear. Another pair of heels so tall he’s impressed you can walk at all. “You think those shoes would be comfortable to walk home in?” Taking one hand off the wheel, he leans over menacingly. “In fact, why don’t I break them in for you now–”
“Okay,” you push back at him in a way that’s probably unwise, considering the fact that he’s driving. “Okay. No extra comments from me.” You mime zipping your lips with your finger. “You’re a business major. End of answer.”
Jake doesn’t believe you for a second. But after pausing to send you a withering glare for good measure, he continues anyway. “Sport I played growing up?”
Much to his surprise, your answer is genuine, concise. “Soccer.” And correct.
“Pets?”
“Just a dog. Layla.”
As the road stretches on in front of you, back and forth quizzing takes you all the way to his parents’ house. As he pulls into the long driveway, Jake spares a glance in your direction. You wear an expression he hasn’t seen on you before.
It confuses him a little, worries him even, until he realizes–
“Hold on. Are you… nervous?”
“What about it?” Even visibly tense, your gut reaction is to deny, to make excuses. Finally, you admit, “It’s been a while since I’ve met anyone’s mom.”
Jake almost considers telling you that he’s pretty sure she’d redecorate one of the guest bedrooms and put your name on the door if she thought you’d like that, but decides against it.
“Hey,” he reaches for your hand instead, interlaces your fingers. “My mom will love you.” In fact, she probably already does. “It will be just fine.”
Jake supposes that divulging just one of her many messages from this week couldn’t hurt. Besides, he’s half afraid you’ll actually run back down the street the two of you just drove up if he doesn’t give you some sort of confidence boost. “She’s really excited to meet you. That cheat sheet of yours actually came in handy, because she asked me what your favorite kind of cookie is. She’s sending us back with a box of homemade snickerdoodles tonight.” What Jake doesn’t mention is the fact that he’s never been big on cinnamon.
“Really?”
“Mhm. So there’s no need to wor–”
“What about your dad?”
“My dad is…” Jake trails off, searching for the right words. “He’s a businessman. In a lot of ways, he’s difficult. And very set in his ways, which makes him particular. But on the outside, he’s easy to get along with. He wants to make a good impression on people. And even if he didn’t, you really don’t have anything to worry about there either. His biggest concern is always how things will reflect on the company, and you’re pretty much as perfect as it gets in that regard.” Pausing for a moment, he adds, “And we both know my brother’s kind of obsessed with you.”
And he really did set himself up for it, he realizes, the second you turn to him with a wink and say, “Must run in the family.” Jake won’t even argue with you on that one for now. His mission was to get you out of your head and back to your usual self. The version of you that he knows and occasionally tolerates. The version of you that could probably win an Oscar for playing the role of is fake girlfriend, if you really put your mind to it.
So before you can start to linger on your worries again, Jake steps out of the car. Makes quick work of walking around the front to open the passenger side door for you.
When he offers you, and outstretched hand, you take it. This time, it’s you that initiates the interlacing of your fingers. Glancing at the expanse of the home in front of you – although mansion may be a better word for it – you take a deep breath.
“Ready?” Jake echoes your words from your family’s fundraiser just a week ago.
You’re a little less confident this go around. “As I’ll ever be.”
Jake, too caught up in his attempts to soothe your frayed nerves, forgets to warn you that Layla can be a bit of a jumper, especially with new people. Sure enough, the first person to greet the two of you as spoon as he turns the doorknob is his favorite family pet. Honestly, Jake is a little more concerned about the bottle of wine in your hands than anything.
Especially when, just as he remembered a little too late, Layla makes quick work of giving you an overexcited greeting.
When he does finally manage to get her mostly off of you, he’s relieved to note that the alcohol is unharmed. With a bit more trepidation, he lets his eyes wander up to your face. It’s a safe bet, he thinks, that someone with five favorite necklines isn’t a fan of obnoxious furry greetings.
To his surprise, however, the only expression he reads is pleasant surprise.
“This is Layla?” You ask. Jake nods, still a bit strained from the way he’s preventing Layla from trying to lick at your face and leave paw prints on your jeans.
But that’s not what you’re thinking about. No, you’ve suddenly been transported to an unfortunate forty-five minutes wasted in a restaurant all on your own. The catalyst of all of this.
Because Layla is the same dog you saw while doom scrolling James’ social media profile. You thought she was cute, back then, sandwiched between gym selfies and other photos more telling of James’ awful personality.
But now, looking at the way she almost seems to smile while Jake scratches her behind the ears, wraps her up in a big, warm hug, you think you just might like her even more.
You’ve never seen your fake boyfriend look at anything with so much… fondness. It’s palpable, all of his pent up love, as he lets some of it loose to shower Layla with it. Everything about him is a little easier, a little more relaxed. You can see it in the set of his shoulders, the absence of tension in his jaw.
Most of all, you see it in his smile. Bright, warm, genuine. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him wear that expression before. It suits him, you think, as you reach down to give her a greeting of your own.
“Hi, Layla,” you smile, reaching down to pat her on the head.
And if that makes Jake turn to look at you with a little too much fondness, you’ll assume it’s just lingering remnants of his reunion with his favorite girl. Layla, that is.
You’re pretty sure the two of them could spend hours just catching up, especially when Layla turns onto her back in a silent demand for tummy rubs, but a voice from a nearby room cuts it short.
“Jake?” A distinctly feminine voice calls. “Is that you?”
“Well,” Jake gives Layla one final pat for good measure, turns his eyes to you as he stands. “Shall we?”
You don’t mean to be, but you’re nervous again. This is his family, his space, his mother. Not only are you a stranger here, but one that’s been invited under false pretenses. There are too many things to fuck up, too many ways you could send this evening spinning sideways by accident.
Here in the entryway, with just you, Jake, and Layla, things feel peaceful, simple. You know that just a few steps in the direction of his mother’s voice will turn that calm in your chest upside the head. You’re not ready for it. You’re not.
You don’t respond to Jake’s invitation, but he reads your hesitation all the same.
“Hey,” he whispers, all the hard edges gone from his voice as he steps a little closer. “She’s gonna love you.” Again, his hand finds yours, slides his fingers through your own and finds little resistance on your end.
She. You don’t know how he knows, when you haven’t told him, but it’s true. You don’t care all that much about pleasing his father and even less so about making a good impression on his brother, but his mom…
You care. You don’t know why, but you care.
And you don’t know how, but Jake knows.
You hope his words aren’t empty reassurances as you let him tug at your hand, pull you a little further into his home, wrap you a little more inextricably into the threads of his life.
His mother waits for you in the living room. A head or two shorter than her youngest son, she has nothing but a smile for him as she pulls him into a hug, reaching up to wrap her hand around the back of his shoulders.
Your hand is still linked with his. The angle makes it somewhat awkward, but neither of you is quite ready to let go.
Looking over his shoulder, her eyes settle on you. Breath suddenly stuttering in your chest, your knees feel a little wobbly underneath you.
Jake won’t let you fall. As soon as his mother releases her embrace, he’s tugging you closer. He undoes the bind of your hands only to wrap his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side.
“Mom,” he introduces, smiling. “This is ___,” eyes locking with yours, he adds , “my girlfriend.” If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was proud of the fact.
And then his mother is looking at you. Really looking at you. It’s hard not to wither under her stare, hard not to brace for the results of her inevitable appraisal. But where you expect to see scrutiny, judgment, disdain, you only see a smile. A warm one. A real one.
“It’s lovely to meet you,” she says, and you almost have the feeling that she means it.
Remembering yourself, your role for the evening, you give her a smile of your own. “It’s lovely to meet you too.” You hope your voice is more steady than it feels. “You have a beautiful home. Thank you for inviting me to it.” Remembering the bottle of wine still encased in your hold, you hold it out towards her. “And this is for you.”
“Oh,” she beams, accepting the gift. Reading the label, she admonishes lightly, “You shouldn’t have. How did you know this is my absolute favorite?”
Glancing at her son, you admit, “I may have had some help.”
“Well at least one of us got some guidance.” She leans towards you, pulling your arm into her own and leaving Jake behind the two of you. “Tell me, what do you prefer? White or red?”
“Usually white.”
Jake rolls his eyes at your answer, or rather, the brevity of it. According to the stack of papers you made him memorize, your real answer is…
Chardonnay with poultry, sauvignon blanc with seafood, pinot grigio with dessert, pinot noir with red meat (unless it’s ribeye, then cabernet sauvignon)...
But it does make him smile, the way you fall into step at his mother’s side so naturally. The way she makes you flush when she gives you yet another compliment on your hair or your outfit or your beauty.
Even the protest dies on his lips when he hears her whisper a little too loudly, “And how do you put up with him when he’s in one of his moods? You know, the one where he gets all cranky and can’t be reasoned with at all.”
At her side, you just giggle. Jake would be lying if he said he didn’t think it was kind of adorable.
He likes it, watching you and his mom together. Watching her light up at the chance to finally have a pretty girl to fawn over. His mother loves her sons – Jake has never doubted this for a moment – but there’s a certain kind of connection that only comes with a daughter.
It’s a shame, he thinks, that your own mother is in the habit of squandering it with criticism and shame and admonishment.
Watching the two of you now, Jake isn’t sure if he’s ever seen his mom enjoy herself more. When the three of you reach the dining room, she insists that you take the seat directly across from her. Even in her excitement, she won’t let anyone fill the seat next to you except for your boyfriend.
It’s sweet, the way she dotes on you. And Jake is content to just watch, for the time being, hoping you and her both enjoy it as long as you can.
Until New Year’s, that voice in his head reminds him. And suddenly, even with the back half of a semester in front of him, the holidays don’t seem so far away.
The conversation only dies down slightly when his father and brother enter the room. Even in the comfort of his own home, his father strikes an imposing presence. He’s not cold when he introduces himself to you, reaching out an arm for a firm handshake, but there is no extra warmth embedded in the action either. After sending his youngest son a nod, he takes his seat at the head of the table.
James doesn’t bother with formalities. Sliding down next to his mother, he’s already a little smug when he says, “Hi Jake.” Pausing, he glances towards you. “___.”
“James,” you return, smile significantly faker than it was moments ago.
Jake is debating how worth it it would be if he kicked his older brother under the table when the first course is brought out, interrupting that train of thought.
After passing the first set of dishes around and filling your plates, his mother is the first to pose a question. To test your thorough preparation for the evening.
“So,” she asks, taking a sip of wine. “How did you two meet?”
And it’s such an obvious question. Such a painfully straightforward inquiry and yet somehow, too wrapped up in getting a contract signed and memorizing each other’s fun facts, it’s something the two of you completely neglected to cover.
You both freeze, absence of a mutually agreed-upon backstory making you look like twin deer in headlights where you sit next to each other.
A beat passes. Two.
You say, “a mutual friend” at the same exact moment he says, “a class.”
Passing each other panicked looks, you smooth things over with a shaky, “A mutual friend in our class.” After a steadying breath, you add, “We have a mutual friend in our class, and he introduced us.”
“Oh, how nice.” Jake’s mom smiles. Turning to her youngest son, she asks, “Which friend was it? Someone I know?”
“Heeseung,” Jake nods, just as you say, “Sunghoon.”
This time, Jake is the one to cover your tracks.
“My friend Heeseung and her friend Sunghoon know each other,” he explains. “I guess it’s technically two mutual friends, since we met through them.”
“And all four of you are in the same class together,” Jake’s mom is still beaming. “That’s awfully lucky. What a coincidence.”
“You could say that again,” James mumbles under his breath across the table, decidedly less enchanted by the false tale of your first meeting. And considerably more suspicious. His eyebrow is arched when he asks, “What class did you say it was, again?”
Your brain scrambles only for a second. “Econ,” you answer quickly. Jake’s struggles aside, you figure that it's your best bet, considering that at least two of the four people you’ve listed are actually in that class.
The glare that strikes the side of your face from Jake’s seat is frigid enough to kill a houseplant.
“Econ,” James echoes flatly. And then something a little sinister enters his eyes. His spine straightens, poised for offense, when he directs to you, “I hope Dr. Kang isn’t as much of a hardass as he was when I was in school.”
You open your mouth to reply, probably to bite back with something along the lines of the class actually being rather easy, or you having a stellar rapport with Dr. Kang.
But Jake spots the trap before you can fall into it and cuts you off just as quickly. “It’s Dr. Jeong, actually.” He’s not glaring at his brother, but there’s no extra kindness in his stare. “I’m sure you remember, since you always say that he was your favorite professor.”
“Oh.” James’ eyes slide to his little brother. “That’s right. My mistake.” But his words make you think the switch in names was intentional bait, not a lapse in memory. Bait you almost fell for.
Before you can let the implications of that sink in, Jake’s father directs his attention towards you, speaking for the first time. “You’re a business major, too, then.” It’s not exactly a question, even though he doesn’t know for certain. Even though he’s wrong. But men like Jake’s father don’t get to where they are by asking questions. They get there by making assumptions and talking over everyone else in the room until wills bend to their whim and reality is what they’ve made it.
Still, Jake’s voice is steady when he corrects, “No she’s a pre-law major.”
Something flashes in his father’s eyes, but he says nothing.
His mother, on the other hand, passes her youngest son a look. “I think ___ can speak for herself.”
It’s under his breath, but just a little too audible for comfort when Jake argues, “Not after I just had to memorize–”
“The entire case with me!” The sudden volume of your outburst rings awkwardly in the air. Adjusting your voice, you add to your explanation, “We got a crazy complicated case assigned in criminal law a couple weeks ago.” If the elbow nudge you give Jake is a little too hard, no one bats an eye at the way he winces slightly. “I’ve been talking about it so much I’m sure Jake has practically memorized it.”
Jake’s father hears what he wants to. Picks through the pieces of what you say and paints his own picture. “It’s nice to see a young person so dedicated to their studies.” No one at the table misses the way his eyes slide over to his second son. “And the family business by extension. I’ve always liked your parents,” he nods to you. “And they’ve been excellent partners. You’re going to law school, then, I assume? After you graduate.”
Jake can practically see the answer you typed out for him, words stamped in his brain from the amount of times he forced himself to look over them. My major is pre-law, you’d written in a font that’s almost as high maintenance as you. I’m considering attending law school after finishing undergrad, but I’m still undecided.
But then he hears you say, “That’s the plan.”
Jake can’t quite help the way he glances over at you, a question on his face, written all over his features. The two responses can’t hold true at the same time.
One of your answers, either the one you typed for him or the one you’ve just given his father, is a lie. If the way your shoulders round slightly is any indication, he thinks the packet you gave him must be the real one.
But as his father nods at you approvingly across the table, you just smile at Jake. Then you shake your head slightly, almost imperceptibly. He reads it as you intend it – a silent signal to move on and act as if nothing’s amiss. A nonverbal request to just let it go.
Across the table from the two of you, his mother is the one to speak next, to divert the conversation from one area of dangerous territory to another. “James tells me that you two were together at your family’s fundraiser event.” Like Jake considered earlier, it’s all you can do not to kick him under the table at the reminder. That gossipping little shit. “You’ll have to pass on my apology to your mother that we couldn’t make it. But I have to say, I’m surprised the two of you decided to announce your relationship by attending together.” She frowns, but there’s a lightness in her tone that tells you she’s not mad, not really. “And I still can’t believe you made me hear it from your brother!”
Jake, thankfully, handles that one with ease. “We’ve been keeping things pretty close to the chest these last few weeks.” He glances at you fondly, and you have to applaud him. From the outside, you think it must look quite genuine. “We just liked each other.” Under the table, he takes your hand back in his. You assume that he’s just caught in the moment, forgets the fact that there’s no way for his family to see the display of affection. “We wanted to see where things would go.” Turning back to his mother, he adds, somewhat apologetically, “It was never meant to be some big announcement. Of course, I would have told you, Mom, when we did actually announce our relationship.” Jake lets his eyes fall on his older brother. “If someone hadn’t beat me to it.”
You can see the way James’ hackles rise, and so can she.
Sensing the potential for another argument to brew, his mother cuts in again, smoothing over the tension. “Well, what’s done is done.” Turning to you, she smiles. “And we’re very happy to have you here, ___. I hope my son is treating you well.”
Jake isn’t sure how you manage to do it without grimacing, without turning up your nose at the lie, but you assure his mother, “He is.” And your smile looks almost genuine. “The very best,”
Jake isn’t the only one that seems to think that you mean it. Across the table, his mother swoons while James crumples a little. His father just looks mildly disinterested, if anything.
And those expressions remain steady for the rest of the evening, more or less, as you and Jake take turns spinning tales of the early days of your romance. He divulges the details of the outfit you were wearing on your so-called first date (a top with a sweetheart neckline, not off-the-shoulder), and you supplement with a tall tale of the time Jake saved you from getting soaked to the bone when he showed up outside of your lecture hall with an umbrella after a torrential downpour began out of nowhere.
After a while, even his beaming mother can only handle so much sappiness, and she begins the end of the evening by excusing herself, referencing an early morning tomorrow as her reason for leaving. After giving you both one final hug, she bids you both goodnight. His father follows soon after, sans hug, leaving the table to take an urgent business call.
In an effort to escape James and his wandering eye, Jake is quick to excuse the two of you moments later, whispering some half hearted excuse about giving you a tour of the house. To his credit, he does actually lead you around a handful of rooms on the first floor, but the tour is cut short by the time the two of you go up the stairs and step out onto the outdoor balcony on the second floor.
The cool autumn air is refreshing, washes away lingering anxieties from a few close calls, a handful of narrow escapes from certain fiascos. From keeping up your hastily constructed lies for an entire evening.
For long minutes, the two of you are content to say nothing at all. And Jake isn’t uncomfortable in the silence, but after a while, he still searches for something to fill it. Something to get a conversation going. Something to see where your head's at. He finally settles on, “I can’t believe we forgot to come up with a story of how we met.”
He half expects you to say something scathing. To use your wit to insult or blame him for the lack of foresight, but you don’t. Instead, you exhale. And then you agree, somewhat amused, “Me neither.”
“I think we did alright, though,” Jake reasons. He hates to admit it, but, “That cheat sheet idea of yours came in handy, after all.”
Again, he doesn’t get the sarcasm he expects. “No kidding.” And then you’re the one looking for ways to keep the interaction flowing. Something to fill the silence. “Your mom seems nice.”
“She is,” Jake nods. And he knew she would like you just as much. “She’s the person I’m closest to in my family.”
“Mm,” you hum. You can see why. She’s warm in a way that your own has never been. But it’s not like Jake exactly got dealt an easy hand when it comes to family members. You mean it when you tell him, “Your brother still sucks.”
Jake just laughs. “And I wouldn’t hold my breath for that to change anytime soon.”
A half smile pulls at your lips. It’s replaced by a small frown when you suppose it’s time to comment on the last guest of the evening. “You were right, in the car. Your dad is… intense.” It’s not like you exactly hit the jackpot of parental relationships, but you can’t imagine it’s easy for Jake to have a father like that, to have grown up with those expectations, those scrutinizing eyes, weighing on his shoulders.
Instead of responding, Jake just looks at you for a moment. His eyes trace your profile, committing details to memory, as you look out at the night in front of you. And then he says, “Can I ask you something?”
You sigh. You’re still not looking at him, but you can sense the sudden sincerity in his voice. “Aren’t you going to anyway?”
Jake shakes his head even though you can’t see it. “I wouldn’t have asked for permission if I was going to anyway.”
A moment of silence rings in the air. And then, “Okay.”
Jake isn’t sure what you’re referring to. “Okay, you agree or okay, I can ask?”
At that, you turn to look at him. “Both, I guess.”
Jake meets your eye, considers the best way to ask what’s been weighing on his mind for the better part of the evening. “When my dad asked you about law school,” he starts, “why did you tell him that you’re planning to go? You wrote that you still aren’t sure on the paper you gave me.”
You only pause for a moment. “It’s what he wanted to hear.”
“What?” There’s no evasiveness in your words, but Jake is still looking for clarity.
Sighing, you elaborate, “Your dad didn’t want to hear about my indecisiveness when it comes to the future. He wanted to hear about the plan I have. One that would make sense to him. So I told him what he wanted to hear.” Breaking eye contact, you look back out at the stars. “Sometimes, it’s just easier that way.”
But Jake still has one other question. He might be pressing his luck, but he asks anyway, “Why haven’t you decided? About law school, I mean?”
Your gaze lands somewhere in the distance, somewhere it might take light years to reach. “What do you want to hear?”
For the second time, Jake asks,“What?”
It’s ironic, almost, how easily you’re able to rifle through his insecurities, his inner thoughts. “What do you want to hear? Something that will make you feel better about having questions about your future? Something that will make you believe you’ll have everything figured out soon?” The stars blink above you, and you ask him again, “What answer do you want to hear from me?”
Jake realizes it then, under the glow of fading moonlight, why you’ve always been an image of perfection to him. It’s not accidental, but it’s also not entirely honest. Perfection, he realizes, is your identity of choice – it’s what you think other people want from you. So you construct it, you practice it, you create it. And then you give it. You let people do what they want with it.
But Jake isn’t asking about your future career plans because he’s trying to feel better about himself. He’s not trying to stack up your lives next to each other and see how his compares. He’s not trying to put cracks in the exterior you’ve worked so hard to maintain.
But he does want a glimpse of what’s underneath.
So when he answers, he opts for a third option. “The truth.” Above you, the moon glows. “I want to hear the truth.”
If it catches you off guard, you recover quickly. You’re not sure what it is about this moment that has you wanting to spill your guts, but you can’t remember the last time someone asked. The last time someone cared.
So you tell him, with all your honesty, “I don’t want to go to law school. I never have. My mother has made it clear that that’s the expectation, though. So I can’t decide how willing I am to estrange myself completely. To potentially lose what’s left of our relationship.”
Jake listens. He hears you. He gets it. “What would you do?”
It’s another answer that comes easy, even though the question hasn’t been asked by anyone in a long, long time. “Architecture.” Your smile is small, but it’s real. “I had a great aunt who was an architect. And she always used to tell me, when I was kid, that the secret is to put a little love into everything you build. It doesn’t have to be actual buildings, of course. That was just her thing, y’know? The thing she could always put a little love into, even on the hard days.” You sigh. “Truth be told, I don’t hate law. It’s interesting, and I’m good at it. But it’s not something I’ve ever been able to put a little love into.”
You turn to him, words still ringing in the air. You ask, “What about you? Was business always your calling?”
If you can give him the truth, Jake supposes he ought to return the favor. “To be honest, I have no idea. It was never a question. It was always a given that I would study business and take on some kind of role in the company.” He turns over your great aunt’s words in his mind. “But I don’t think it’s something I have any love for. Not even a little.”
“So what would you do?” You echo his question back to him. “If you could do anything?”
Jake’s answer comes less easily. “I don’t know.” You raise an eyebrow. “I really don’t. To be honest, I don’t even think I could tell you most of the other majors that are offered at our university. It’s always been business. It’s what my whole family does. Even Jay, my closest friend, is a business major too.” Jake realizes how odd that must sound, but it’s true. “It’s all I really know.”
“Hm,” you muse. He can see the wheels spinning in your brain, the beginning of an idea. “Maybe it’s time for you to find your thing, then. Somewhere to put your love.”
“Yeah, right,” Jake scoffs. He doesn’t think that’s possible, and especially not at this point. “I may not ever be the CEO, but I still don’t want my dad to disown me. And besides, we’re in our third year. Not exactly the best time to change my major.”
“Yeah,” you agree, but Jake can tell you still haven’t quite let it go. “I suppose you’re right.”
This time, when the silence between you returns, you let it linger. With nothing but the pale glow of the night sky and quiet whispers of the wind, long moments bleed into each other. You take it all in, let it all wash over you – the stillness, the chill of an autumn breeze, the presence of the boy at your side.
And it’s a long time before either of you moves again.
…
At this point, Jake really should be used to ominous, slightly threatening messages from you. Still, he can’t help but stutter a bit when he checks his phone after another tutoring session with Jungwon the following week.
Without any family events looming on the horizon, you and Jake have had a few days to yourselves without any fake dating facade to follow. Aside from the white lies Jake slips Jungwon every now and then, he hasn’t seen or mentioned you since e dropped you back off at your apartment after dinner at his parents’ house last weekend.
His thoughts, however, are an entirely different matter. No matter where he is, what he’s doing, they have the very annoying habit of always straying back to the same scene. A moonlit balcony. A cool autumn breeze. The most scraps of truth he’s ever been given from you at once. A thousand misconceptions shattered and reconstructed all in a single moment.
Still, Jake’ not quite sure how to interpret the message that greets him, other than as a very direct threat.
You [7:48 pm]: Meet me at the far end of the quad next to the library tomorrow at 2:45 or I’m telling your brother we broke up and I have uncontrollable romantic feelings for him
Jake [8:02 pm]: Should I be scared?
He’s not reassured by your reply.
You [8:04 pm]: :)
So Jake is standing on the far end of the quad, beside the library, the next afternoon at 2:42 when he sees you approaching.
The first thing you do when you finally reach him is swat at the baseball cap he’s wearing, knocking it askew. “What are you, a frat boy?”
“It’s sunny,” Jake defends, fixing his hat. Something you’re well aware of, if the obnoxiously large sunglasses balanced on the bridge of your nose are anything to go by.
“You know,” you tilt your head, giving it a second thought. “The hat might be kind of perfect, actually.” Deciding to divulge the reason for your message, you tell him, “I need you to come somewhere with me.”
“What?” Jake balks, suddenly thrown by the lack of details. He needs a little more warning than this, if he’s expected to play the role of your boyfriend convincingly. “Is this,” he leans in close, waits for a group of students to pass by before he whispers apprehensively, “a contract thing?”
“No,” you shake your head. “I mean, don’t like, start hitting on other girls in front of witnesses or anything, but we don’t have to act like a couple.”
Now, Jake is even more confused. “Then where are we going?”
Never one to give in easily, all you say is, “You’ll see.”
Jake crosses his arms over his chest. “I’m not going anywhere with you until you give me more information.”
“I literally have James’ phone number in my favorites.”
He holds his ground. “And I have the right to know where you’re taking me!”
“Ugh,” you roll your eyes. “Fine. We’re going to the Student Union Building.” A multipurpose building in the center of campus, it’s a typical place for events that are too large to be hosted anywhere else. Which really doesn’t give Jake much to work with.
“Why?” His question is slow, suspicious.
“My god.” You throw your hands in annoyance. “I’m going to have to start paying Jungwon double if this is how annoying you are when you have a question about something. Just come with me,” you reiterate. “You’ll see what we’re doing soon enough.”
“But–”
It doesn’t matter, you’re already grabbing his hand in yours, more or less dragging him through the quad towards the Student Union Building before he can get his protest out. Jake’s eyebrows are still creased in confusion when you pull him through the front doors and he sees the unusually large crowd of people inside.
Then, he sees the banner hanging from the ceiling. His lips flatten into a thin line.
“Absolutely not.” But you’re already behind him, blocking his exit and pushing him towards the makeshift check-in counter.
“Hi!” The student employee greets, far too cheerfully in Jake’s opinion. If she notices the way your knuckles are white around his arm, holding him in place, she doesn’t comment on it. Jake pulls his hat down further over his eyes. “Are you two here for the Explore Our Majors event?”
“Yep,” you beam. And Jake is actually going to kill you. “I’m in my third year here, but my friend Ja–”
“Jacob,” Jake intercedes.
“Right.” You spare a glance at him. “My friend Jacob.” You’re still way too excited when you lie, “He’ll be a freshman soon, and he’s hoping to look around and see all the different programs that are offered here. Do we need to go in a certain order or anything? Or is there somewhere we need to sign in?”
There better not be. Like hell is he putting the name Jake Sim on a sign-in sheet for a major exploration event for freshmen. It’s not like his father has time to poke around at things like this, but his claws and connections run deep where this school is concerned. And Jake imagines he would be less than pleased to find out his son is wasting his time doing something so frivolous. Or something that could signal any kind of disinterest in the future that’s been laid out for him, his eventual place at his father’s company.
“Nope,” she smiles. “Each major has its own table, and majors are grouped by college. So all the STEM tables are over there, for example,” she points over to where a group of high school seniors are flipping through pamphlets. “You can just wander around as you like and chat with the people at the tables. There’s a mix of students and faculty. Oh, and each major should have a pamphlet you can pick up too, if you’d like.”
“Great,” you grin back. “Thank you.”
Again, if she sees the way you practically have to yank Jake by the arm to get him to move, she doesn’t comment on it. But once you’re out of earshot, he does lean down to hiss in your ear, “Why the fuck are we at the Explore Our Majors event for incoming freshmen?”
“Why do you think?” Your voice is entirely too loud. He has half a mind to slap his palm over your mouth to prevent you from spilling his secrets here in the middle of the Student Union Building’s largest event hall. “We’re finding you somewhere to put your love.” The large group of girls that walks by do a double take and then proceed to take turns shooting him death glares.
Jake panics. “Would you stop saying it like that?”
You roll your eyes, paying the group of girls and his worries no mind. “Don’t knock my great aunt. Anyway, where do you want to start? Should we go over to the STEM tables?” Pausing to consider, you ask, “Or is your performance in econ more indicative of your math and science skills in general? We could look for liberal ar–”
“I just told you this weekend that I was good at physics.” It may have been a white lie, but who’s keeping track?
“Oh, right.” You nod, eyes already searching for the table in question. “Should we go there, then?”
“No,” Jake shakes his head immediately. “I was good at it.” Questionable. “But I didn’t really like it.” A lot more true.
“Alright,” you agree. Spinning to look in the other direction, you take him with you “Humanities it is. Or we could always go the fine arts route.” You turn to look at him for a moment, assessing. “You know, I feel like you would actually be a great dancer. You have the face for it.”
“Has that ever made sense to anyone you’ve said it to?”
“Wouldn’t know.” You shrug. “You’re the first.” Trying not to read too much into that, Jake lets you pull him along until you’re standing in front of a table with a rather gaudy ‘Journalism’ banner hanging on the front.
“Hi,” you smile at the students standing behind it. Jake pulls his hat down a little further. You don’t know a whole lot about journalism other than the basics, but you’re pretty sure they’re also in charge of student media on campus. “You guys run the student newspaper, right?”
Picking up a pamphlet, you nod as the boy behind the table answers brightly, “Yeah, we do.” He’s proud when he adds, “Our last issue was one of our most read yet. We ran a really great article on the front page about the importance of understanding how economic trends affect our daily lives–”
Delicately setting the pamphlet back down on the table, you glance at Jake before apologizing to the overeager boy, “I’m sorry, but I think Jacob and I are gonna head to the next table.”
ANd then you’re dragging him along again.
“Okay,” you turn to Jake once you’re out of earshot, “So that’s a veto for journalism. What about other kinds of writing? You point to a table a few rows away. There’s the creative writing table.”
Jake shakes his head. “Even discussion board posts are like pulling teeth.”
“Noted.” Your jaw sets with a little too much determination for his liking. “Minimal writing it is, then.”
The two of you pass several more tables in the same fashion, Jake shutting each one down before you have a chance to so much as grab a pamphlet.
There’s history, but who cares about dead people? English, but he’s seen the career outlook and he’d rather not study unemployment, thank you very much. Sociology, but he already lives in society. Why would he waste his time studying it?
Finally, you point out a major that he doesn't have anything scathing to say about within the first five seconds. “Graphic design,” you nod towards the table a few spots away. “That could be interesting.”
Jake hates to admit it, but he kind of thinks so too. He does think visual design is pretty interesting, and marketing and advertising have always been some of his favorite aspects of business. He’s about to say fuck it and fully embrace Jacob the incoming freshman when he notices one glaring problem. The graphic design table is set up right next to the business table.
A nonissue, really, except for the fact that students are helping to run this event. And as you drag him closer, Jake realizes with mounting dread that he recognizes one of the faces spending an afternoon trying to convince high schoolers that choosing a business major will change their lives for the better.
He turns to make a break for it before you can reinforce your grip on his arm and physically drag him with you, but it’s too late.
“Jake?” he hears a horribly familiar voice call. “Is that you?” Turning around slowly, he knows he’ been caught. Jake kind of wishes the ground would open up and swallow him. The only thing he wants to do is melt into the floor.
“It is you,” Jay says upon closer inspection. And because you seem so hellbent on making his life even more painful, you pull him with you until the two of you are right in front of his best friend. “What the hell are you doing here?” Jay asks him. “You said you had a date.”
Butting in on the conversation, your smile is entirely too smug when you turn to Jake. “You said what now?”
Glancing at you, Jay’s eyebrows furrow as he tries to connect the dots. “You were telling the truth? Dude, that’s even worse.” Jay looks at you almost like he’s trying to apologize on behalf of his friend. “You’re not exactly wine-ing and dining her, here.”
“Hi,” you introduce, extending a hand. Jay shakes it warily. “I’m ___. Jake’s…” you search for a good term to use, and finally, with a private smile, settle on, “plus-one.”
“To an Explore Our Majors event?” That clears up none of Jay’s confusion. He turns back to Jake. “What the hell? Are you going on dates with incoming freshmen–”
“This is my third year,” you interrupt again. “We’re just looking around.”
“Hold on,” Jay pauses, a flash of recognition crossing his features as he studies you for a moment. “You’re the ___ that Jake was trying to get a phone number from for his brother, right? Is that what’s going on? Are you making him do a bunch of stupid shit like this to get it?”
You shrug, glancing at Jake. “You could say that.”
Jake has to give it to you. You’re a lot better at beating around the bush, at avoiding giving straight answers about the nature of your relationship, than he is. Jay looks more confused than anything at your evasiveness. If James were to somehow hunt him down and inquire about the validity of your relationship, Jake is positive that his friend would have absolutely no idea how to answer.
A reassuring idea, other than the fact that Jake is also sure Jay will be hunting him down after this to get the real story, since he couldn’t get it from you. Targeting the weaker prey, a classic strategy.
“Anyway,” you build yourself an out. “We’re gonna go check out the graphic design table.”
You tug at Jake’s wrist, but he stands his ground this time. Thoroughly embarrassed and done letting you pull him around, he tries to back you into a corner with one of your tricks from the fundraiser. “We should get going, actually,” he argues pointedly. “Look at the time. We don’t want to be late for…” Unfortunately, he’s still no better at coming up with excuses, “that thing.”
You roll your eyes at the obvious trick. “Don’t worry.” Your smile is sugary, but your eyes flash with warning. “I canceled it. Let’s go.”
This time when you redouble your efforts to drag him to the graphic design table, he has no choice but to follow, a little miserably. Behind the business table, Jay has zero idea what to make of what he just witnessed.
As the students at the graphic design table start their spiel, Jake is glad at least one of you is paying attention. You nod along enthusiastically while the student representative talks your ear off about the pros and cons of various online photo editing programs, asking well-timed follow-up questions as you expertly skim the pamphlet you’re handed simultaneously.
Jake, on the other hand, still coming down from the mortification of being caught, is suddenly a little caught up in the way your hand is still wrapped around his wrist. A light pressure he could easily work his way out of. But despite himself, he’s having a hard time coming up with any motivation to do so.
Distantly, he concentrates on the sensation. Your skin is soft, warm. The gentle pressure of your fingers is a tether to you. And in this moment, it’s a reminder that out of everyone in his life, you’re the first to be so obnoxiously concerned with what his interests are, where his passions lie.
Despite his rightful protests against attending this event, he can read your intentions behind bringing him here. And it would be a lie if he said he didn’t appreciate them, just a little.
At this point in his life and academic career, he feels a little bit like a toddler you’ve thrown in a pool to try and teach to swim. It’s hard for him to tread water, to keep his head above the waves, when the solid ground he’s used to is suddenly replaced by new matter entirely.
But if Jake is sure of one thing, it’s that he won’t drown. How could he, with the lifeline of your arm still reaching out towards him? With the steadiness of your fingers still wrapped around him? He thinks you just might save him too, if you saw him drowning. Would pull him in and teach him to float on his back. To work with the water instead of against it.
To swim, even when the water gets rough.
At your side, terms like visual communications and web design and typography all blur together. And Jake’s focus is still narrowed in on the pulse point on his wrist, the way his heartbeat is entrusted in your unwavering grip.
…
Jake has a well-practiced routine for checking his econ grade whenever results of a new assignment or exam are posted.
First, he makes sure that anything fragile or breakable is out of his reach. Then, he lights a scented candle. Setting the new one he just bought a few days ago on his desk, he checks the label again. Lavender Dreams. It’s all he can do not to laugh, a little miserably. Well, he supposes, thinking back to your words a couple of weeks ago, time to find out if lavender is actually calming.
Third, he makes sure he has no other important plans for the day. Nowhere else to be, nothing to do that he can’t show up for in a ruined mood. Because that is usually what happens during this little ritual of his.
Finally, his last step is to look up at the ceiling of his bedroom, imagine the sky above it, and whisper one, desperate, “Please.”
Then he sits at his desk and opens his laptop to greet his fate with a grimace and a racing heart. Today, Jake follows all the same steps until he’s navigating to his university’s learning management platform. He clicks on the Econ tab, slowly releases a breath he wasn’t meaning to hold.
His shoulders tense at the notification of a newly inputted grade that pops up, the icon begging for his attention. He inhales deeply, letting the smell of lavender enter his nose and hopefully work some magic in his nervous system.
Maybe he should adjust his ritual, he thinks, mouse hovering over the new grade notification. Maybe he should start burning incense or something, cleansing the air of any bad energy before he looks. In his indecision, his finger slips, presses, clicks.
And Jake doesn’t quite have time to screw his eyes shut before the number flashes on his screen.
Oh, he is so fucked.
So, so, so, terribly, absolutely, completely fucked.
It shouldn’t be a surprise at this point, that the score of his latest homework problem set is a–
Wait.
Jake opens his eyes, just barely, peeking at the screen again.
82.
Jake pauses for a moment. His eyes open completely. His brow pulls down in confusion.
82. He double checks to make sure he’s seeing the grade correctly, that the numbers haven’t somehow been reversed.
They haven’t. 82. It’s his real, true, honest to god score. It’s a B. A low B, but that’s still the highest econ grade Jake has seen since his third round of the syllabus quiz.
Oh my god. Oh my god.
Jake kind of doesn’t know what to do with his body, with all of the extra energy he suddenly has. In that moment, he thinks he could do anything. If Jungwon were here, Jake thinks he might actually kiss him on the mouth.
82. It’s not enough to save his grade, not yet. But if it’s a trend that continues, Jake Sim just might finally pass econ.
He goes to text his tutor the good news, to confirm their next session, but finds that Jungwon has beat him to it. Fingers still slightly shaky from the excess of nerves, he reads the new messages.
Yang Jungwon (Econ Tutor) [7:03 pm]: Hey, I saw that the latest homework grades were released. Lmk how you did!
Yang Jungwon (Econ Tutor) [7:04 pm]: Also, sorry to do this kind of last minute, but I’m not gonna be able to meet you at our regular time tomorrow. We could reschedule if there’s another time that works for you? Or we could just wait and meet again next week.
Frowning, Jake reads the message again. He’s still riding the high of a B- and is reluctant to do anything that might prevent it in the future, including missing a tutoring session.
Jake [7:10 pm]: Is there any way we could still meet tomorrow? Maybe before our usual time.
Jake [7:10 pm]: And I got an 82! You’re actually a lifesaver
Yang Jungwon (Econ Tutor) [7:12 pm]: That’s great!
Yang Jungwon (Econ Tutor) [7:12 pm]: I’m sorry, but I don’t think tomorrow afternoon will work either. I’m going to the university skating competition to support a friend
Yang Jungwon (Econ Tutor) [7:12 pm]: You probably know him actually. Him and ___ are good friends too lol. It’s Park Sunghoon
Jake rereads the message, sighs. He supposes it makes sense. He can’t really fault his godsend of a tutor for wanting to support a long-time friend at one of the most important competitions of his season. Still, Jake’s a little slammed this week, and the thought of missing a tutoring session is enough to sober him from the thrill of his latest assignment grade.
Park Sunghoon. Jake has only met him once – in search of you, or rather, your phone number – and he doubts Sunghoon remembers much of that interaction. Jake doesn’t really know anything about him, other than the fact that he’s rumored to be one of the best skaters to come through this school and that he’s apparently good friends with both you and Jungwon–
Wait.
Oh no. Oh no.
Jungwon can’t go to Sunghoon’s skating competition tomorrow. Because Jake is almost positive you’ll be there too, is pretty sure you and Jungwon are probably going together. If there’s a flare of jealousy in his gut, he’ll ignore it for now. He has bigger problems.
Namely, the fact that Jungwon is under the impression that you and Jake are dating. Officially dating, since he knows that Jake took you to meet his family this last weekend. Quite seriously dating, if the lovesick expression on Jake’s face every time he talks about you in front of Jungwon is anything to go by.
And the sole reason Jungwon is under that impression is because Jake couldn’t keep his big mouth shut. Because he essentially told him, flat out, that the two of you are very much enjoying the honeymoon phase of your relationship.
Still working in a cloud of panic, Jake leaves Jungwon on read for the time being and sends a message to you instead.
Jake [7:17 pm]: What time is Sunghoon’s thing tomorrow? I’ll pick you up
You [7:18 pm]: ???
You [7:18 pm]: What the fuck?
Before he can think of a reply to type, Jake’s phone screen is overtaken by an incoming call notification. One that he knows better than to ignore, even as something in his shrivels a little.
“Hello?” He answers, wheels in his brain spinning as he tries to come up with some sort of explanation on the spot.
You don’t waste any time. “How do you even know about Sunghoon’s competition? And what do you mean you’ll pick me up?” On the bright side, you don’t sound angry, at least. Just very confused.
“Jungwon mentioned it to me.” Jake decides he can at least be honest about that. “He had to cancel our tutoring session tomorrow.”
“So what?” Even through the phone, Jake can sense your exasperation. “You thought you could squeeze in some econ notes at the athletics center? My god, you are so persistent about the worst things. Leave poor Jungwon alone.”
Poor Jungwon. Poor Jungwon.
Jake’s tone is a little less even when he clarifies, “No, it has nothing to do with econ. I just want to come with you. To, uh… to support Sunghoon.” It’s a weak explanation, even to his own ears.
“You don’t know him.” Your voice is flat.
“We’ve talked,” Jake argues.
“You’ve had one conversation. He thought your name was Jacob.”
“Which turned out to be a very useful alias for me.” At the event for incoming freshmen you dragged him to unwillingly. “I owe him one.”
There’s an extended silence on your end.
Jake begs a little more. “I let you drag me to that stupid event last week. You know, I had to run, actually, full on run, away from Jay the other day so he couldn’t ask me about it. Just let me come with you tomorrow.”
You hesitate. “I might, if you tell me why you want to go so badl–”
“Fine,” Jake sighs. “You caught me. My secret passion in life is actually figure skating. I didn’t start training young enough, so now I have to live vicariously through–”
“You are so fucking annoying” But it works. “Fine.”
“Fine, as in, I can come?” Jake knows better than to sound too hopeful.
You refuse to answer him directly. “Be at my apartment by four-thirty tomorrow. If you’re even a second late, I’m leaving without you.”
On the other line, Jake lets his fist fly into the air in silent celebration. Into the receiver of his phone, he says calmly, “Great. I’ll pick you up, then.”
You hang up without bothering to respond, and Jake returns Jungwon’s message.
Jake [7:26 pm]: Let’s just plan to meet next week for tutoring. And thanks for the reminder. You kind of saved me again, actually. I’ll see you tomorrow at the competition
Sighing, Jake sets his phone down.
For the moment, the crisis is averted, at least partially. But Jake knows he’ll have his real work cut out for him tomorrow. As he turns it around in his brain, the celebratory feeling in his chest slowly begins to morph into dread.
How on earth is he going to sit through an entire evening with you and Jungwon without the illusion shattering one way or another? It feels like an impossible task.
But then he takes a long inhale of lavender-scented air, looks back at the proud B- still displayed on his laptop screen. If he can pull that off, he thinks he just might be able to do anything.
…
It’s a confidence that Jake is finding hard to rediscover the following afternoon. Just after three, every ounce of self-assuredness Jake has ever had is slowly draining from his body as the clock ticks closer and closer to four-thiry with every passing second.
Standing in front of his mirror, Jake can’t decide how he feels about the black button-down he’s wearing. Is it too much? Not enough?
He knows he’s probably overthinking it, but he’s about to spend an entire evening sitting with you and Jungwon, watching Sunghoon. If you don’t think he looks at least a little good in comparison, something in his pride is going to be very, very wounded.
On the other side of his bedroom door, Jake can hear Jay poking around in his kitchen. After a few days of successfully dodging him, his best friend finally snuck his way into his apartment under the guise of delivering a package. Still a little terrified to face him and the questions he’ll inevitably ask, Jake has been hiding in his room since his arrival.
He curses the situation now. If nothing else, Jay could at least provide a set of fashion-forward eyes to help him choose his outfit of the evening. But that would also involve explaining where he’s going, which would only send Jay’s suspicions about you and Jake skyrocketing.
Unlike you, Jake is not particularly well-versed in avoiding leading questions. In fact, he regularly does the opposite, if his interactions with Jungwon are anything to go by.
Somewhat regrettably, he decides he’ll have to use his own intuition for this one.
That turns out to mean that Jake spends the next forty minutes trying on half of his closet, pulling out shirts that he hasn’t seen since middle school and watching the pile of rejected options pile up on his chair as uncertainties pile up in his gut.
Finally, he lands on the black button-up he was wearing originally and decides to make the disaster of his room a problem for later. Glancing at the clock, he realizes with a bit of dread that he needs to head out soon if he doesn’t want to miss your threat of a deadline. But then his eyes land on the small handful of ornate bottles on top of his dresser, and he suddenly has a new problem.
Running low on both steam and time, Jake decides that facing whatever Jay has in store for him is better than trying to make this last decision on his own. So he scans that array of bottles, picks his two favorite scents, and opens the door to his bedroom slowly, doing his best to delay the inevitable inquisition.
Stepping out warily, he sees that Jay has moved from the kitchen to the living room and is currently snacking on a sandwich he made with whatever ingredients he found in Jake’s fridge as he watches something on the TV.
“Hey, Jay?” Jake calls out, a little hesitantly.
“What?” Jay doesn’t even turn to look at him. “Oh, you decided you’re talking to me again?”
“I’m sorry,” Jake searches for a feasible explanation for his avoidance. Finding nothing solid, he settles with the classically vague, “I’ve been busy.”
“Doing what? Training for a marathon? I can’t believe you actually ran from me–”
“I realized I forgot my computer at the library,” Jake lies. “I wanted to go back and grab it before it got stolen.”
“Whatever.” Jay doesn't buy it for a second. But he is eating Jake’s food, so he figures he owes him a little. “What do you want?”
Jake moves to stand next to his couch, careful not to block Jay’s view of the TV and annoy him further. Tentatively, Jake holds out the two bottles of cologne. “Which one of these smells better?”
Jay sends Jake a look of disbelief, sets his sandwich down on the coffee table. “Do I look like a fucking Macy’s employee to you?”
“Just help me out,” Jake pleads. “Please,” he adds for good measure.
Jay stares at him blankly for a moment longer. “Well, it depends,” He finally concedes. “The Yves Saint Laurent has more of a causal vibe, and the Giorgio Armani feels like you’re trying a little harder, like you want to be impressive and you don’t care if people know that.”
And then he takes a closer look at Jake. At the way his hair has been perfectly styled to look just the right amount of intentionally messy, at the outfit he’s wearing.
“Hold on, what are you so worked up about?” Jay’s eyes narrow in on his shirt. “And is that Prada? It’s four in the afternoon on a Thursday. Where the hell are you going?”
“Nowhere,” Jake replies too quickly, already beginning to retreat to the safety of his bedroom before he can be questioned further.
Jay turns in his seat, eyes following Jake accusingly the whole time. “You’re meeting ___, aren’t you? What’s going on between the two of you anyway? Why are you being so weird?”
Jake pretends not to hear his friend, closing the door behind him and he looks for his coat in the mess of his room. Finding it, he pulls his arms through the sleeves. Stopping at the mirror, he gives himself one final once-over before turning to leave again. Right before he does, he pauses, weighs his options as he weighs Jay’s advice. And then he reaches for the bottle of Giorgio Armani, sprays it twice for good measure. Before he can psych himself out again, he heads for the front door.
He almost makes it, too, but before he can slip out, Jay asks him one last question. “Just answer this,” he bargains from his seat on the couch. “Are you meeting ___?”
“None of your business” is the only answer he gets as Jake leaves his apartment, quickly closing the door behind him to cut off any other opportunities for Jay to catch him in a white lie.
And when Jake arrives at your apartment, he has seven minutes to spare. Sending you a message of his arrival, he makes his way to the lobby to greet you.
“Mr. Sim,” your doorman nods coolly.
“Elton,” Jake returns, equally as frigid as he reads the middle-aged man’s name tag.
Thankfully, you don’t keep him waiting long. You make your way down to the lobby before Jake and your doorman have the chance to exchange a few more choice words.
Despite the initial turmoil and the current state of his bedroom, Jake is more than pleased with the clothing choices he landed on for the evening when he sees you.
It would be hard to claim that the two of you are matching, exactly, considering how simple both of your outfits are. But as he watches you approach him in a black sweater and light jeans, Jake likes the way it almost looks as if the two of you did it by accident. Synced up so well that even your closets align without you meaning to.
And he likes the way it looks like the two of you go together, two pieces of a matching set.
Giving your doorman one last parting wave, the walk to Jake’s car is short. He doesn’t offer to pull the car around this time, mostly because the white sneakers on your feet are a lot more conducive to walking that your heels for the fundraiser a couple of weeks ago.
“I assume we’re heading to the Ice Sports Center,” Jake says, putting the car in reverse as he backs out of his parking spot.
“Yeah,” you nod. Much to his relief, you’re not projecting any annoyance. At least not yet. “But we’re picking up Jungwon first.”
“What?” Jake balks, suddenly reminded of the awful tightrope he’s about to be walking all evening. The way he’s somehow supposed to keep Jungwon thinking that the two of you are enamored with one another without you finding out that he divulged the nature of your fake relationship to your friend.
Mistaking his apprehension for annoyance, you shake your head. “You’re so mean,” you accuse. “First you invade our evening and then you complain about picking him up? The poor guy already has to put up with you all night. The least you could do is spare him an Uber ride.”
Jake suddenly has another bone to pick. “First of all, why do the the two of you even need an evening–”
“Because I never get to see him!” A bit dejectedly, you add, “Between classes and tutoring and his internship, he never has any free time.”
Jake wonders, somewhat vindictively, if he could start requesting additional tutoring sessions. Burn up whatever remnants of time the kid has to dedicate to you.
Instead, he relents. He’s not going to win any favor from you by doing anything to Jungwon. Not that he needs your favor, of course. Not that he even wants it.
So Jake just asks you to give him Jungwon’s address and plots it into his phone’s GPS without another complaint. But as the estimated arrival time begins to dwindle, so does Jake’s confidence that he can pull this evening off.
With just a few minutes to go, he decides that honestly might be his only way out of this mess.
Turning to you slowly, he says, “So, I kind of have to tell you something.”
You groan. “I hate the way you just said that. Please tell me I’m not also going to hate whatever it is you’re about to tell me.”
Jake hesitates, “I mean, I can’t predict the future–”
You read his guilt like an open book. Flatly, you ask, “What did you do?”
Jake is quick to go on the defensive. “Why are you assuming it’s my fault–”
You’re not in the mood for his evasiveness. “What did you do?”
It comes out all in a rush, sounds like one long word as Jake lets the truth spill out. “I might have accidentally told Jungwon that you and I are dating.”
Somehow, you understand just as well as you would have if he enunciated clearly. Your voice is dangerously low. “How, pray tell, did you accidentally tell your econ tutor that you and I are dating?”
“It just came out, I swear!” Jake tries to dig himself out. “You came up somehow, and I mentioned the dinner at my parents house. One thing led to another, and now he thinks that we’re dating.”
You’re still livid, not accepting his threadbare explanation. “I could sue you, you know. You signed a legal document agreeing to not tell our friends and acquaintances anything about our agreement.”
Jake calls your bluff. “That thing is not legally binding, and you know it. Besides, the wording on that part is so vague, I’m sure there are a million loopholes. No judge would uphold that in court.”
“Oh, so now you’re a contract expert–”
“Look, I’m sorry,” Jake interrupts, deciding that neither defense or offense are likely to get him much of anywhere. Maybe an apology will do him one better. “I know we agreed to not get our friends involved, but it really wasn’t on purpose.” It kind of very much was, but he figures you don’t need to know that. “I just… Can we pretend, just for tonight?” It sounds reasonable enough to him. After all, “It’s no different than what we’ve done so far–”
“Yes it is,” you argue. Your fury has evaporated slightly, now just simmering in his passenger seat. But Jake still doesn't get it. “Jungwon is my friend. He knows me, the real me. I’m not trying to keep up appearances around him. I don’t want to lie to him, and especially not about something like my relationships. Especially because he’s going to think that I’m the one that’s been lying to him about it.” The more you say, the worse Jake starts to feel. “I told him you were my friend.”
It wasn’t about you being embarrassed of Jake or not wanting Jungwon to think that you would ever consider dating him. It was because Jungwon is one of the few people that gets you, that really gets you. It’s because he’s one of your few real friends, someone you don’t have to lie to. Someone who accepts your truths as they come.
“I know.” For the first time, Jake’s short-sighted solution to his jealousy doesn’t feel so satisfying. He hadn’t considered this, the potential fallout on your end. How you would feel about lying like this to someone that you’re genuinely close to. All he can say is, “I’m sorry. I know I fucked up.”
You just give him a long look, silence building between the two of you as you weigh a million responses on your tongue and let all of them die, one by one, before breathing life into any of them.
“I…” you finally say. “It’s whatever.” It’s not. Jake can hear it in your tone of voice, can read it in the way your lips twist. “Let’s just do it,” you agree to his original request. Jake isn’t sure why he can’t find it in himself to feel good about it. “Let’s just pretend for tonight.”
Jake doesn’t know what to say, can’t find the words to remedy the situation. Still, your name is a quiet whisper on his breath. He feels like he’s begging, pleading. For what, he’s not entirely sure.
You just shake your head, looking out of the windshield. “We’re here.”
And you are. Jungwon, completely oblivious to your conversation, is all smiles where he waits outside his apartment building, sending you and Jake both a friendly wave before jogging over to the car and sliding into the back seat.
“Hey Jake, ___,” he greets, unaware of the stifling tension he’s just walked into. “Thanks for picking me up, by the way. You have a really nice car.”
And Jungwon is so nice, Jake thinks. So nice and considerate and genuinely pleasant to be around. Things that he controls, things that Jungwon wakes up every day and decides to be. Things that make you like him, want to be his friend.
Things that Jake, as he glances to where you’re still nursing your wounds in his passenger seat, understands with a sickening realization that he has not been. At least not to you.
And Jake could pin the blame on a million different excuses. His father or the tight constraints of his life or the way he feels like nothing has ever really belonged to him. But when he looks at you, at your hurt, he knows that his lack of consideration for your feelings is all of his own doing.
Jakes turns back to Jungwon for a moment, tells him, “No problem. I’m glad we could all go together.” And then he puts his eyes back on the road ahead of him and makes the decision to take a little more ownership of the things he can control. To do his very best to be a little better. To try, really try, to put a little love into the things he builds.
So Jake doesn’t protest, when you arrive at the ice rink and slide down into the middle seat, next to both him and Jungwon. Doesn't let the unpleasant feeling that rises in his gut when you give Sunghoon a massive bouquet of flowers and a warm hug after his program do anything but simmer. Doesn’t make his feelings your problem, a fire for you to put out.
When he excuses himself to the bathroom, he tries not to let the imagined possibilities of what you and Jungwon might be talking about in his absence make him do something stupid.
Besides, everything he’s thinking of is far off the mark anyway.
As soon as he’s out of earshot, Jungwon turns to you and smiles. “You and Jake, huh?” He nudges you with his elbow. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. Actually,” he amends, “I can believe that. What I can believe is that you lied.” The accusation is light, teasing. It still hits you like a sucker punch. “You said you two were just friends.”
But your hurt feelings won’t help you here, and you have tracks to cover. Jake didn’t tell you what he told Jungwon, not exactly, so you’ll have to do your best not to unravel any of the lies he’s already spun.
“It’s new,” you try to explain, thinking of something that would make sense, that would wound Jungwon the least. “I haven’t really told anyone.” You mean it when you say, “But I am sorry for lying.” You wish you weren’t doing it still. You wish you could tell him the truth.
“Fine.” It’s an apology Jungwon accepts easily, even if he pretends to hold onto it a little longer. “You’re forgiven. But only because his car is really nice.” And then, “He’s good to you?”
“Yeah,” you echo the same words you told his mother a handful of evenings ago. “The best.”
“Good.” Jungwon nods. If there’s wistfulness there, it’s overtaken by his genuine desire to see you happy. “You deserve that.”
You’re not sure why you feel like crying, why everything about this conversation, this situation, suddenly feels so wrong.
“Thanks, Wonie.” You melt a little at his earnestness, the childhood nickname slipping out with your fondness. This is what you were afraid of, what you wanted to avoid. It’s not fair for him, not okay with you that Jungwon is wasting his sincerity on a lie, a false relationship. It’s hollow when you say, “That means a lot.”
Whatever reply Jungwon has dies on his lips as Jake finds the two of you again, slides back into his seat. As the rest of the evening passes, your lingering hurt starts to make room for something else. You’re not sure what to make of how undeniably easy it all is. How natural it feels to be sat in between your childhood friend and your fake boyfriend, trading jokes and smiles and stories that take no effort and make the time fly by.
When Jake finally drops you back off at your apartment a few hours later, your anger is mostly gone. And unlike him, you were never particularly good at physics, but you do remember the conservation of mass – how things can change and transform but are never truly destroyed. In the absence of anger, you’re not entirely sure what emotions are beginning to overflow in their stead.
But when Jake whispers, “Goodnight” from the driver’s seat of his car, it’s a sentiment that’s easy to return.
…
As the month just before the holidays tends to do, the rest of the semester passes in a blur of late night study sessions, half-finished assignments, and a concerning amount of caffeine. Both of you slammed with responsibilities of your own, Jake hardly even sees you in those last few weeks. Instead, the promise of the holidays and your family’s upcoming New Year’s Eve party are threats that loom on the rapidly approaching horizon.
This, then, is a small time apart from each other before your fake-dating responsibilities kick into full gear. Before they eventually as soon as the clock strikes midnight on the last day of December and your contract dissolves just as the year does.
And at this point, that’s a concern for the future. Right now, Jake is too busy trying to pass his classes to have any brainwidth left to worry about other things. Namely, his econ term paper. The hours that he spends alone with his laptop, forgetting to do much of anything else, veer towards a number that is more than a little concerning.
But thanks to his sessions with Jungwon, a report card without any Fs is looking like an actual possibility for him this semester. So Jake doubles down and presses onwards, goes hours and sometimes even days hardly talking to anyone, just to make sure that every last detail, every last word, is as impeccable as possible.
And a few weeks later, just as the first half of December draws to a close, Jake finds himself back at his desk, lavender candle lit, pleading with invisible deities as he opens his laptop to check his final econ grade.
He lets one breath pass. Another.
Slowly, he opens one eye.
And there it is, on the screen in front of him. His final econ grade.
73. A solid C. A fucking C.
He did it. He actually did it. On his third go around, Jake Sim passed econ. And that alone calls for celebration.
It’s nearly the first time he’s seen you since Sunghoon’s competition when you and Jungwon show up at his apartment by surprise with a custom ordered cake the next day.
Predict THIS trend, Wall Street, the royal blue icing reads. Jake Sim passed econ!!!!!!
And then it really is the end of the semester, and the three of you are parting ways for winter break. With nearly a month of rest from studies and schoolwork, you and Jake finalize the details of your last two public appearances as a couple.
The first is set to be at Jake’s parents’ house. It’s not so much an event as it is the two of you exchanging gifts, making sure that there are witnesses around to corroborate your affection. And the second, of course, will be the New Year’s Eve party at your family's home.
The timeline gives you about a week to finalize your gift to him, something that has proven to be much more difficult than you were hoping. Despite your suggestion that the two of you just pick out your own gifts in advance and say that they’re from each other, Jake has insisted on going the traditional route. On surprising you.
So when you show up at his family's home a few days before Christmas, a small red gift bag in hand, it’s with a bit of trepidation that the present inside will fall flat of whatever expectations your fake boyfriend may have.
Moments later, with the glow of the fireplace casting a cozy glow on his living room, Jake holds a self-warming coffee mug in his hands.
You feel a bit foolish as you reach for your rehearsed explanation, cite the one time he’d complained about his coffee going cold before he had the chance to drink it. But Jake insists that he loves it, assures you that he’ll put it to good use.
And when your turn comes to open his gift, you do your best to ignore the slight shake in your fingers as you untie the bow on the small jewelry box he hands you.
Sliding the lid off, it’s all you can do for a moment to stare.
“Oh.” The golden chain of the necklace is delicate, fragile. But it’s the charm at the center that has you suddenly breathless. It’s a tiny, intricate outline of a house, the same shimmery gold as the chain. The color he memorized as your favorite. And in the center of the miniature home is an impossibly smaller outline of a heart. “Oh.”
Your soft words ring in the air for a moment as your fingers hover over the gift, unmoving.
Mistaking your lack of feedback for distaste, Jake is quick to explain, somewhat sheepishly. “It’s, uh,” he scratches at the back of his neck. “It’s supposed to be like what your great aunt said. Y’know, ‘put a little love into everything you build.’ If you don’t like it, I can–”
You shake your head. “I love it.” It makes your gift to him pale in comparison. The truth rattles in your brain a little too harshly. You got him a coffee mug, and he got you this. Something so obviously wrapped up in thoughtfulness and care and affection. But comparison is the last thing on his mind.
“I… You do?” His uncertainty is still written all over his face. “You don’t have to just say that. Really, it won’t offend me if–”
“Jake,” you look up at him, put your hand on his chest. Physical touch is the only way you can think to stop his rambling. “It’s perfect. I love it. I really, really do.” Glancing back down at his gift, you smile. His eyes are suddenly wide, from your sincerity or your touch, you’re not sure. “Help me put it on?
Jake nods, swallows audibly. You retract your hand from his chest, let it fall back to your side as you hand him the jewelry box. Carefully, delicately, intentionally, he takes the necklace out, lets it dangle between long fingers.
And then he’s moving to stand behind you. The sudden heat of his body is a lure for your senses, a focal point you can’t pull your thoughts away from.
“I…” He breathes, words suddenly a little strained. You feel the warmth of his words along the length of your spine, deep in your bones. Settling somewhere in the pit of your stomach. “Could you move your hair?”
It makes you feel vulnerable, when you acquiesce to his request, exposing the bare skin of your neck as you pull your hair to the side. “Is that better?” It’s barely a whisper. He hears it regardless.
“Yeah,” Jake returns, just as airy, just as flighty. “That’s perfect.”
And then his fingertips are ghosting the edges of your collarbone, skimming the sensitive skin of your throat as he places his gift around your neck. You don’t think you imagine the tremble in his fingers while he fights with the clasp for a moment, drawing in a shaky breath as he finally snaps the mechanism into place.
“There.” He exhales and it travels over your exposed nape.
Letting your hair fall back into place, you take a steadying breath before turning to face him again.
You mean it when you say, “Thank you.”
Jake takes it in, all of it. The moment. The proximity. You. Warning bells are sounding in his mind as his gaze travels from your eyes to the bridge of your nose to the slight part between your lips.
He wants it, he realizes. In this moment, there is no doubt in his mind. There’s nothing, in fact, but his desires, his wants. And what he wants is to feel your exhale against his own. To lean down and close the distance and let his fingers trace the skin of your throat again, for real this time. Without the excuse of a necklace.
He could, he thinks. It’s a rule you both signed your agreement on, but what are rules, he reasons, if not things to be broken? And he thinks that if he kissed you, you might just let him. It’s a theory that he’s desperate to test, almost as desperate as he is to learn the exact taste of your mouth when it’s not trading insults with him. And he was never one to let hypotheses remain in limbo for long.
There’s heat in his gaze and desire in his bones when he leans down, just a fraction of an inch.
Your eyes widen. Your breath stutters. Under your skin, your heartbeat races.
You say nothing.
And then he’s inching closer. Slowly, steadily, until he’s right there, so much closer than he’s ever been. Invading your senses and mingling your exhales and clouding anything coherent left in your brain.
His exhale ghosts across your lips. Your eyes flutter shut, and you’re nothing but a slave to sensation.
It won’t be him that breaks the spell. Resolve slipping with every passing heartbeat, it won’t be you, either.
In the end, it’s neither of those things. Instead, it’s the shrill ping of an incoming notification that has the two of you springing apart, cheeks flaming, heat of the moment settling in your chest like a shock from a live wire with nowhere to put all of its excess energy.
“I…” Jake can barely breathe, much less form words. He still wears his desire in his eyes, his want across his lips. It’s a miracle he even manages to say, “I better check that.”
“Right,” you nod, as if he’s asking for permission, as if it’s in any way under your control. But you’re scrambling to fill the burning silence, to redirect whatever is still simmering in the air. “Yeah.”
Jake nearly stumbles over his own feet as he takes a step away from you, pulling his phone off the coffee table. You avert your eyes as he skims over the notification, hoping the heat in your cheeks will fade from sheer will alone.
Glancing back at him, you notice the way he’s still reading the notification. Notice the way his brow is furrowed,
Without really even meaning to, you ask, “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” Jake nods, but he still looks unsure. His eyes are still on his phone screen. “I think so.”
You raise an eyebrow at the vague qualifier, and he sighs before he continues, “Apparently someone submitted an anonymous plagiarism claim on my econ term paper. It went to the dean, and they’re running an investigation to make sure it’s my original work. That was just the department head letting me know that they’re proceeding with the investigation and will reach out again if any additional action is needed on my part.”
“What?” You balk, earlier tension replaced with one of an entirely different sort. You’re still stuck on his first sentence. “Plagiarism? How is that possible? You spent literal days working on that stupid paper. Even Jungwon said he couldn’t believe how much effort you put into it.”
“Yeah.” Jake shrugs. “I know. That’s why I’m not really that nervous.” His expression begs to differ. “I mean, I know that I didn’t plagiarize my paper, so I’m sure the investigation won’t be able to find anything.”
Still, it can’t feel good. Not when it took him so long, so much concentrated effort to finally pass. Not when the relief of it all is now stained with the accusation that looms over his head, no matter how much it lacks in credibility.
“Is there anything I can do?” You offer.
“No.” Jake shakes his head, won’t make you bear the weight or the worry of his burdens. “I’m sure they’re just going to run some more in-depth comparisons to past papers. I really don’t think I have anything to worry about.”
“Okay,” you concede, a little hesitantly. But it’s a worry that lingers, even as the afternoon ticks by. Even when Jake’s mother arrives home and wraps you up in a big hug. Even when she slips you another box of homemade snickerdoodles, this time wrapped up with a bow.
It’s a worry that lingers when you say your parting words, wishing the two of them a Merry Christmas and telling your fake boyfriend that you’ll look forward to seeing him on New Year’s Eve.
It’s a worry that you have no distraction from until you’re on your way out, and your least favorite Sim sibling catches you at the door.
“Merry Christmas, ___,” James smiles, all pretenses and no sincerity. Despite his words, it’s like he’s begging for a fight when he asks, “Are you enjoying the holidays?”
If his mother weren’t in the next room over, you might just take it upon yourself to wipe the smug grin off his face. Preferably with an uppercut.
“Oh, you know,” you shrug, forcing a cordiality you don’t feel. “It’s the same as every year. Good but busy.” It’s more than a little vindictive when you add, “Your brother did get me the most thoughtful gift, though.”
“Did he?” James muses. He doesn’t rise to the bait as much as you’d hoped. “Looks like little Jake is all grown up. Seems like it’s a good Christmas for him too. Miracles all around. He has a girlfriend to spend it with.” Pausing a moment, he tacks on, “And I heard he even passed econ, too. It was about time.”
“Well we can’t all be stuck in our ways forever.” You smile. It’s a polite, family friendly way of letting him know you still think he’s a raging asshole.
But if James is miffed, he doesn’t show it. You don’t like the way his satisfied grin doesn’t falter either, not even once. “No,” he agrees as you turn your back to him, leaving him behind as you walk out the front door. “I suppose we can’t.”
…
Christmas morning is an uneventful affair at your house. There are gifts, of course, ones that your mother watches you open expectantly.
The jewelry box that sits in your hands is reminiscent of just a few days prior. A fleeting touch that leaves your collarbone scalding. A similar gift that you wear around your neck now.
But lifting the lid on the present from your mother, the differences are stark.
A pair of silver hoop earrings, beautiful in their own regard and undoubtedly expensive, but silver has never been your color. It’s something you wish she’d remember, something you thought she might know, after twenty-one long years.
You thank her, words echoing hollowly in the vast expanse of your living room.
On the table next to you, your phone lights up with a notification.
Jake [9:23 am]: Merry Christmas, ___
You think it might be your favorite gift yet.
…
It’s three days after Christmas when you wake up to a series of texts from Jungwon.
Wonie [8:12 am]: Hey ___ did Jake ever work on his econ term paper with you? Like at your place or anything?
Wonie [8:12 am]: He asked me not to get you involved, but I’m getting really worried. This plagiarism claim isn’t going away, and he needs as much evidence as he can get that it was all his work
Despite the way your sleepiness usually lingers in the morning, your friend’s messages have you immediately feeling alert.
Scanning the texts again, the whole thing really is such an awful twist of luck. Jake finally, finally passed econ and after turning down his brother’s proposal from months ago, he did it as a result of his own efforts. Jake might not have ever worked on his paper in your presence, but you know he didn’t plagiarize it. You can pay testament to the way he was practically a recluse the entire last three weeks of the semester, only ever taking breaks from that damn assignment to occasionally eat, sleep, or bathe.
And it’s so bizarre, you think. Jake mentioned to you that everything blew up because of an anonymous accusation. It’s not like his paper was caught by some online plagiarism checker. No, someone intentionally went to his professor and claimed that the work was stolen. Someone who wanted to start this fire and watch Jake struggle with the flames.
It makes no sense, none at all. Who on earth would–
Your train of thought cuts off abruptly. Alone in your childhood bedroom, you know exactly who would do that.
And, one Google search later, you know exactly where to find him.
…
You’re not exactly surprised that the Sim Corporation building is up and operational during the holidays. If anything, the employees’ end-of-the-year burnout works to your advantage as you sneak right by the secretary at the front desk, bypassing the appointment system that must surely be in place for the CEO-to-be.
The elevator ride is slow. Agonizingly slow. And you should be using this time to think, just like you should have been doing on the drive here. You should be figuring out which cards you can play and how exactly you’re going to make Jake’s weasel of a brother admit to what he’s done and retract his idiotic, completely fake accusation against his younger sibling.
But the only thing your brain has room for right now is rage. And as the elevator ascends, all your anger can do is heat further and further, releasing steam until it’s boiling over, clouding your judgment and making you see red.
When the elevator finally lets you off on the thirty-sixth floor, your strides eat up the ground until you're standing in front of the door you’ve been looking for.
You don't bother to knock.
Unsurprisingly, James Sim’s office is as completely devoid of life and personality as its owner. Covered floor to ceiling with the stark furniture that wouldn’t look out of place in an upscale Ikea ad, there are little to no personal touches, no hints of anything that might make you think James has any kind of redeeming qualities.
And the only acknowledgement your least favorite Sim brother gives you behind his desk are two slightly raised eyebrows.
“___.” He jots something down on a notepad in front of him. Probably writing a reminder to fire the secretary that let you up without notifying him. “To what do I owe the pleasure”
You’re in no mood for games. “Cut the bullshit.”
James’ pen pauses. He glances up at you.“I’m afraid I don’t–”
You won’t hear it. “I said, cut the fucking bullshit, James. You and I both know exactly why I’m here.” Your chest is already heaving as you list your demands. “Back the fuck off from Jake, retract your stupid plagiarism claim, and let him enjoy the holidays in peace.”
James doesn’t give you the courtesy of acknowledging anything you just said. Instead, he demands firmly, “Break up with him.”
“What the fuck?” You’re not sure how it’s possible, but your annoyance multiplies tenfold. How dare he assume he has any say in your relationship, anything at all related to you or his brother. “Why would I listen to anything you tell me to do?”
“You want me to retract the claim,’ James echoes evenly, enunciating so slowly it’s patronizing. “Okay, fine.” He lays his hands out in front of him as if he’s offering some generous, benevolent deal. “Then end the relationship.”
You wonder how much damage it would do if you throw the chair sitting next to you at his head. “Are you actually threatening me right now?”
“Not a threat.” He shrugs, all too nonchalantly. “Just a deal.”
Your strides eat up the ground between the door of his office and his desk. Laying a palm down on the surface in front of you, you point an accusatory finger in his face. “Listen here, you little shit. You and I both know damn well he wrote every word of that term paper on his own, so I suggest you listen to me and back the fuck off while I’m still asking nicely, or–”
“Or what? Hate to break it to you sweetheart, but between my brother and I, there’s only one person Dr. Jeong is likely to believe.”
“What are you, a cartoon villain?” Even this angry, his stupidity is astounding. “You still need evidence. Which you don’t have. Because he didn’t plagiarize shit, and especially not from you.”
James doesn’t falter. “Interesting that you mention that, actually. You know, I asked Dr. Jeong about you as well, and he said you’re not a student in his class.” Despite yourself, your features slacken slightly. “I thought that was odd, considering that’s how the two of you said you met. There are a lot of things that don’t add up about the two of you, actually.”
There’s a threat there, when he meets your eye and says, “So it kind of seems like you know already, that evidence isn’t just found. It’s made. And Jake’s term paper is different from the one I submitted, yes, but I also have a copy of what he submitted on my personal computer. It’d be pretty easy to ask my secretary to adjust a few timestamps here and there. To make it look like it was written years ago. Stolen by the younger brother that’s always been horribly jealous of me.”
“What the fuck is it to you if he passes econ?” You still don’t understand why he’s doing this. “You graduated university three years ago. Your life is here now, in this office. You’re in the process of becoming CEO of a multi-billion dollar company. Seriously, don’t you have better things to waste your time on? I mean, this is what most people call ‘peaking in college’ and usually try to avoid–”
James reveals his motivation with two small words. “Why him?”
But you still don’t get it. “What?”
“Why him?” he repeats, and it sounds so, horribly, terribly jealous. “Like you said, I’m older, smarter, more successful. So why him?”
“Are you joking?” It’s all you can do to not drop your jaw. All of this because you never let him take you on a date? When it’s his fault he missed the first one? The sheer audacity of it all is astounding. “First of all,” you refute. “I did not say any of that. And second, if that’s actually all you have to say about yourself, then put that shit in your Tinder bio and see where it gets you. I have no interest in hearing it.”
James won’t let it go. “That’s not an answer.”
“Why do you even care–”
“Why him?” He won’t stop, not until he gets his answer.
“Because I like him.” It’s spilling out before you can stop it, before you can give it permission. “Because he’s kind and funny and he listens to me and cares about what I have to say. Because I’m more than just a sum of my parts to him, and the last thing he cares about is my social status and how it stacks up against his. I’m not some tool to impress his parents or a topic of conversation to brag about with boys at Sunday morning golf.” All of the things you’re sure would be a part of any kind of relationship with James. Because no matter what role he’s given in his father’s company or what grade he passed econ with, Jake is capable of something James never has been. “Because he treats me like a person.”
Across from you, James simmers with barely controlled rage. With the truth at his feet, he has nothing left to do but be angry with it. Destroy what he can in the wake of his fury, like a toddler throwing a tantrum. “Break up with him.”
“Wh–”
“Break up with him, or I swear to god I will submit plagiarism claims to every professor he’s had in the last three years.”
It’s a threat you know he’ll make good on. It’s a battle you’re afraid he’ll win, no matter how fake all of his so-called evidence is. And it will all be your fault. You will be the reason that Jake has to take econ again, and that’s only if he isn’t expelled on plagiarism claims. You will be the reason his father hands him another round of disappointment. You’ll be the reason Jake ends his day with a little more shame to tuck away and revisit on a sleepless night.
And you were always on a timeline, anyway. This relationship was one that always came with an expiration date, even before it began.
It should be easy to concede, given the stakes, given the alternative. You’ve known since the beginning that the rapidly approaching New Year would be the end of it all, that you and Jake would become entirely separate entities again in just a handful of days. Still, you have to force the words out through gritted teeth, “Give me until New Year’s.”
James scoffs. “I don’t think you’re in any position to be making demands–”
“I’ll do it.” You double down, agreeing to take Jake’s fate into your own hands. “I’ll end things. Just… just give me until New Year’s.” You can do it, you think. It was inevitable anyway. “And retract the claim now,” you stipulate. “If I go back on my word, you can resubmit with all your evidence once next semester starts.”
Across from you, behind his desk, James weighs your offer. He must sense the finality in your tone, the determination in your gaze. “Fine,” he finally says. “You have yourself a deal.”
You don’t take his outstretched hand, don’t seal your agreement with a handshake. He’ll have to trust your word.
It makes no difference to him. His smile is smug when you turn to leave. You hope his satisfaction burns on the way down.
Your drive home is slightly blurry. Partially because of the rain that has begun to fall. Mostly because of the tears that gather at the corners of your eyes and threaten to fall. You won’t let them, but they cloud your vision anyway, demand your attention.
That night, a message from Jake lights up your phone just as you’re sitting down for dinner.
Jake [6:57 pm]: Good news! The whole plagiarism thing turned out to be nothing. Just got an email from the dean that they’re dropping the investigation. I’m officially freeeeee from econ (again)
If nothing else, you have to give James credit for efficiency. And it should feel like a war won, a job well done. But staring at the message on your phone, the only thing you can think of is how soon New Years is. How little time you have before you’ll have to say goodbye.
…
There’s never much to do, in that liminal space between Christmas and New Year’s. Minutes and hours and days blur together as the end of the year passes by, preparing to give way to a new one.
Jake, giddy with the recent resolution of his econ grade and desperate to get away from the stifling atmosphere of his family home, tries to fill some of that time by spending it with someone he’s starting to realize he cares a lot about. Contract or not.
First, he sends you a message asking if you’ve been ice skating this winter yet. He does his best to only be a little hurt when your rejection comes quickly, claiming in your response to have another obligation that day. Second, he invites you to drive around and look at holiday lights with him. When you tell him you already have other plans, he passes another lazy afternoon alone instead. Again, it’s a little hard not to dwell. A little hard not to let it sting. And by your third rejection – this time to take Layla on a walk with him – his hurt starts to give way to suspicion.
But it’s not like you can avoid him forever, not with your family’s annual New Year’s Eve party quickly approaching. The last big event before the termination of your contract, you’ve been counting on him to spare you from your mother’s scathing comments and attendees’ hushed wonderings about when you’ll find yourself a boyfriend.
And then it will be a new year, a new semester, a fresh start. As the clock strikes midnight, the end of your contract.
Privately, Jake is a little relieved that it will be over so soon. That he won’t have to keep up pretenses any longer. That he won’t have to stick to your rules.
He’s not sure when it happened, not exactly. Somewhere between all the bickering and arguing and fighting, but he’s come to enjoy the way you swept into his life like a hurricane and set up a home for yourself right where his heart is.
He hopes you’ll stick around long after the ink on your contract has dried. He hopes that the two of you will get a chance to figure out what exactly those feelings between you are without worrying about how they look from the outside. How they’re perceived by James or your mother or his father.
So Jake will be patient if he needs to be. He’ll accept your excuses, real or not, and look forward to seeing you on New Year’s Eve, relishing the fact that it’s the last time his presence at your side will be based on a lie.
And when New Year’s Eve finally comes, he adjusts the tightness of his tie, looking at himself in the mirror.
Midnight, he thinks. It will be here soon, quicker than he knows. And all the emotions that he’s been tucking away, all those little moments between the two of you that have fizzled and sparked and ultimately ended in nothing, will fade away with it.
In their place, he thinks the two of you just might manage to find something solid, something real.
…
Halfway across the city, in your childhood bedroom, you turn to Sunghoon. “What do you think?”
“Yeah,” Sunghoon nods appreciatively from his seat on your bed. “Your fake boyfriend is gonna pee his pants.”
“Gross.” Your nose scrunches. “Why would you say it like that? And stop calling him my fake boyfriend.”
“Why?” Sunghoon ignores your first question. “That’s what he is, isn’t he?”
And that, you think, is another reason why you didn’t want your friends getting involved in this little scheme between you and Jake. But Sunghoon’s flight home was canceled due to inclement weather, and you weren’t about to make him spend New Year’s Eve alone. The only problem with him spending it at your family’s party is that he needs to be well-versed in the lies you and Jake have been spinning for the last couple of months to keep the last few hours of your fake relationship believable. So, a mimosa and an explanation of a contract later, Sunghoon is privy to all the gory details. But the last thing you need is reminders of that.
Reminders of him. Reminders of what you’ll have to do in a few short hours. So you redirect the conversation.
“Really?” You look at yourself in the mirror again. “Do you like this one better? Or should I wear the red dress?”
“No, definitely that one.” Sunghoon shakes his head. “It looks really good. And everyone knows that black is better for New Year’s anyway.”
As you give yourself another once over, Sunghoon raises an eyebrow. “Why are you so nervous, anyway? Trying to impress your faux beau?”
“Stop pretending to know French,” you threaten. “or you can actually be homeless for New Year’s for all I care.”
“C’mon,” Sunghoon sighs, ignoring the bluff. “You look great. I think so. You mom will think so. Jake’s definitely gonna think–”
“How many times do I h–”
“So stop worrying so much, and let’s head downstairs.” Sunghoon stands from your bed, nodding towards the door. “I’m sure he’ll be here soon, anyway. Do you really want to leave him to the mercy of your mother?”
Point taken. You absolutely do not. With one final swipe of lip gloss, you’re pulling on your heels. It’s just in time too. Barely is the second one strapped on before the message from Jake pings through. He’s here.
“Is that him?” Sunghoon holds his arm out for you, jerks his chin towards your phone. “Shall we go save your man from the she-devil?”
You don’t even bother to correct him, to reiterate that Jake is most definitely not ‘your man,’ as you hook your hand around his elbow, letting him pull you out of your room and towards the stairs.
At this point, Jake is not unused to the extravagance of your family’s events. But as he enters your childhood home, he can’t help but be a little floored. It’s a house that would be impressive in its own right. Spacious and luxurious down to every last detail, the place practically screams wealth. But tonight, it really outdoes itself.
The black and gold decorations shimmer just the right amount – enough to catch the ambient light beautifully without being garish. Every available surface is impeccable, covered with drinks and food and decor so lavish it would be almost laughable if it weren’t so impeccably done.
Jake strains his neck over the crowd of equally done-up party guests, tries to peer around all the gowns and evening wear until he finds the figure he has memorized. He thinks he might see your mom, over chatting with a group of attendees, but no matter where he looks, he can’t seem to locate you.
Not until he glances at the spiral staircase on the outskirts of the room, does a double take at where you make your way down the ornate steps in an evening gown. It’s the same inky, midnight black as his suit, hugging and flowing and cascading in all the right places. Letting his gaze linger, he would have a hard time keeping his jaw closed if it weren’t clenching so tightly.
He doesn’t mean to let it happen, the flare of jealousy that starts deep in his gut and spreads the length of his spine like a disease. But he can’t help it. Not when you look like that, not when you’re making an entrance and you’re not alone. No, you’re walking down the stairs accompanied by, on the arm of, Park Sunghoon.
Jake decides then and there that he hates figure skating. The glass of champagne in his hand suddenly feels awfully breakable.
But then you spot him too, and some of the tension simmers, brightens, turns to something else entirely. When your gaze lands on his, your wide, genuine smile is almost enough to set him at ease. Almost.
Cutting through the crowd, you and your unwanted chaperone make your way over to Jake.
“Hi,” you breathe. Your hand is still on Sunghoon’s arm.
“Hi,” Jake returns. He can’t take his eyes off it.
Gaze darting between the two of you, Sunghoon is the one to gently but firmly remove your grip from his elbow. If it’s any consolation, you hardly seem to notice.
Still, Jake’s shoulders are unnaturally tense, something Sunghoon takes note of. He just rolls his eyes. It’s not like either of you are looking at him to see it, anyway.
Finally, after the silence lingers a little too long, he says to Jake, “Yeah, you don’t have to do that around me.”
“Do what?” Jake spares him only a momentary glance before letting his gaze rest on you again.
“The whole overprotective, jealous boyfriend thing.” Sunghoon calls his game in two seconds flat. “You’re pretty good at it, though. I’ll give you props for that.”
That grabs Jake’s full attention. “What are you–”
“I know about you and ___’s contract. Don’t worry,” he mimics pulling his lips shut like a zipper. “Your secret is safe with me.”
Jake looks to you again. “You told him?” He can’t decide if it makes him feel better or significantly worse.
You shrug. “I wasn’t sure how else to make sure he didn’t blow our cover tonight.” Besides, you add silently, how much damage could it do? After all, it’s our last night.
Sunghoon glances between the two of you again, decides he does not want to be a part of this particular interaction any longer. “I’ll see you two later. I’m gonna go check out the hors d'oeuvres.” Turning to leave, he claps a hand on Jake’s shoulder. “Your girl could probably use a glass of champagne.”
Sunghoon makes a beeline for the kebabs, and then it’s just the two of you. And Jake might be hesitant to follow advice from your friend, but he grabs a glass from the next waiter that passes anyway, hands it to you seamlessly as you offer him a quiet, “Thanks.”
It’s easy, just like always, to fall into your routine. His hand finds the small of your back, and you lean into his embrace just the right amount. You can tell it’s working, that the guests you mingle with are charmed by how smitten the two of you seem, that everything you do makes them reminisce on their own long passed days of young love.
Even the brief conversation with your mother is painless as she offers a stilted compliment for your dress and wishes you both a happy semester ahead.
But you can’t quite get your smile to reach your eyes, can’t quell the anxiety swelling in your stomach as the night marches on and the clock ticks closer and closer to midnight.
Jake can sense your unease, your trepidation, but he has no idea what’s causing it, can only guess at what has your eyes darting around the room like a mouse watching for a cat.
Incorrectly, he wonders if it’s the crowd that’s getting to you, the chaos of so many bodies all in one space. Trying to offer a reprieve, he asks if there’s anywhere quieter the two of you could go.
It’s not exactly what you’re looking for, not the solution you need, but you still lead him to the second floor, out onto the balcony that overlooks your backyard gardens. It’s similar to the place you and Jake ended your night at his family dinner a handful of weeks ago.
Even away from the crowd, the lines in your bare shoulders are tense, fraught with unvoiced worries. The inevitability of the end.
The music is fainter out here, but the rhythm is still easy to track. Jake thinks you just need a distraction. So he holds out a hand in invitation. “Dance with me?” He asks.
You shouldn’t, not when it will only make all of this worse. Not when there are no eyes out here, no one to convince you that you’re still just pretending.
But resistance has always been futile. And you can’t find it in you to say no.
Under the glow of this year’s last bit of moonlight, you intertwine your fingers with his, let him draw you close as he wraps your hands around the nape of his neck, links his own across the small of your back.
It’s not dancing, not really. Not as the two of you draw nearer under the pretense of staying warm. Not as your bodies barely move through space, just swaying slightly, in time with the harmonies that spin and twist and crescendo and fall below you.
Jake knows better than to press his luck. But the day is dying, and so is your contract. What are a few minutes anyway, in the grand scheme of things?
Leaning closer, he lets his forehead rest against your own, noses millimeters apart. “It’s almost midnight,” he whispers. The end of it all. The start, he hopes, of something entirely new. Something that belongs only to the two of you. In just a few moments, he’ll get to let his desires lead his actions, not the agreement he signed his name to.
“Mm,” you hum in agreement. He feels where it vibrates in his chest.
“Ten,” he hears the crowd inside chant in unison. The countdown has begun. The New Year is nearly here.
“Nine.” He pulls you a little closer, hands pressed a little tighter to the small of your back.
“Eight. Seven. Six.” You sigh, and it’s lost somewhere against the skin of his throat.
“Five. Four.” One of his hands begins to move, traces the length of your spine, finds a new home against the curve of your jaw.
“Three.” Using the gentle guidance of his thumb, he angles your face, just slightly.
“Two.” Around you, the world holds its breath. The two of you do the same.
“One.” And then he’s closing the distance, lips against yours as exclaims of “Happy New Years” are lost somewhere in the wind.
He may have brought you here, but you’re just as greedy, hands around his neck pulling him down further until the angle has you reeling. His mouth parts against yours, and you’re not quite sure if your eyes are open or closed. You’re seeing stars either way.
Jake pulls you closer, and it’s not enough. He’s desperate for it, for something, for closer, for more. It’s everything that he imagined. Countless times in the darkness behind closed eyelids in the privacy of his own thoughts. It’s a million times better.
He can’t focus on anything, can’t do anything but feel, give way to the shape of sensation. He wants to let his senses drown, wants to die and be reincarnated back into this moment just for the chance to live it again. Wants to wash away anything that isn’t tethered to sensation, to the urgency in his gut, to you.
The first in a series of fireworks lights up the sky behind you. The booming echo has you jumping in your own skin, giggling against his lips at the irrational fear. Jake thinks this must be heaven. He must have died doing something wonderful, and this must be his eternal reward.
Your amusement lasts moments longer before he’s doubling down, pulling you in again until you’re both well and truly breathless. Lip gloss a mess on both of your mouths, chests heaving as you finally break for air. The space between your bodies is miniscule, meaningless. In this moment, you’re a single entity with nothing but the desire for more.
Fireworks continue to burst behind you as the sun sets on the contract that bound you together. His hands are still pressed against the small of your back, and you think the fabric of your dress must be nothing but a figment of your imagination. The only real thing is the heat of his skin on yours.
The sound of your name whispered against your skin is something you’re afraid you’ll remember for a long, long time. He sounds desperate, where he repeats it. Pleading. Longing.
But the fireworks are a symbol of a new year. An expiration date on an agreement. A deadline on a deal.
Jake whispers your name once more, and you savor it for just a moment longer. Then, you carefully disentangle yourself from his grip. Most of it, at least. The hands against your back allow you space, but don’t stray from your spine.
Still encircled in the arms of feelings that were never given the chance to take flight, you try to turn blows into kisses by whispering them softly, “I think we should end this.”
It’s presumptuous, on your part, to think that there is anything to end. You feel a little ridiculous saying it when you both signed your agreement long months ago. But your head is still spinning and your heart is still hurting. This is what it feels like, you realize. To mourn for the future. To grieve all of the what ifs and maybes and almosts.
Across from you, Jake stokes your fears. “What? End what?”
“This.” You sigh. You can’t look him in the eye. “All of it. It’s officially the New Year now. We can stop going to things as each other’s plus-ones. The fake dating. Everything.” You’re rambling now, but you can’t help it. You’re afraid that if you stop to think, you’ll propose something else entirely. Something you know you can’t have. Something that will only ruin everything Jake has worked so hard for. “We can tell our families it was mutual – fizzled, like you said.”
Jake releases his grip on you, severs that last bit of connection. It takes every ounce of your willpower to bite back your tears.
“Woah, slow down.” His brow creases in confusion. His words are still gentle; he still handles you with care. “Where is this coming from?”
“I just…” You trail off, doing your best to find steadiness in your voice. “This was our agreement. And it’s served its purpose. Besides, it’s a new year, you know? No point in starting it off with lies.” No matter how much he searches for it, you’re still avoiding his gaze.
Jake’s cheeks are flushed – a combination of things. The taste of champagne that’s fading on his tongue, replaced by something sweeter. The gentle midnight breeze. The aftermath of a kiss that he still wears on his lips. “I…” Suddenly, he finds it very difficult to breathe. “That’s all this is to you? A lie?”
And you wish he would just let this be a clean break, would stop pressing, stop making you say things you don’t mean. But you need him to believe it. That this is well and truly done. “I mean, we got what we wanted, didn’t we? You passed econ, and I got my mother off my back for a bit. This was the date we agreed to end things on. It doesn’t make sense to keep dragging things out.”
Jake is suddenly unsure of many things, and most immediately, himself. He’s not sure how to explain it to you, here on the balcony, with the bitter taste of something that stings all too much like rejection sitting heavy in his throat. That he’s pictured it a million times. You and him, together because it lets you both breathe a little easier, because it feels a little bit like coming home. Not because of a contract or your family or his brother.
He doesn’t know how to tell you that every time he goes to a cafe, he marks a mental note to ask you what your favorite kind of coffee is. Doesn’t know how to tell you that every time he passes the corner table on the third floor of the library or the Student Union Building, the only thing he sees is your face.
Doesn’t know how to thank you for helping him pass econ, for being the boost of confidence he needed to finally stand up to his brother for once, for making him think that he might not be as much of a failure as everyone else seems to think he is. For believing in him.
He doesn’t know how to thank you for being in his life, for making it a little better. For putting a little love in the parts of him that he thought would always be consumed by anger and bitterness and resentment.
Doesn’t know how to tell you that it’s not just a contract to him. Not just a lie. That it hasn’t been for a long, long time.
Instead, he listens, motionless while you whisper, “Thank you for tonight.”
He knows your voice is wavering. He knows your resolve is crumbling. But he doesn’t know why.
So he watches, still unmoving, as you turn to walk away from him. Left alone on the balcony with no company but the stars, Jake Sim has nothing but a million regrets and the horrible, irrevocable feeling that he’s done something terribly wrong.
…
“You look terrible.”
“Thanks, Sungoon.” Your voice is flat, no energy for any real malice. Sarcasm, though, you can muster. “You really know how to make a girl feel good.”
“I’m just saying.” He’s still looking at you like you’re a particularly unsightly piece of roadkill he narrowly avoided colliding with. “Would it kill you to do something about those dark circles? I don’t know, maybe, like – and I’m just throwing out ideas here – sleep?”
You’ve tried. You have. But no matter what you do, rest can’t seem to find you easily these days. And aside from that, it’s the moments just before sleep that you’ve started to fear the most. In the dark, with your eyes closed, the only thing you see is the confusion, the unmistakable hurt on Jake’s face as you walk away from him for the last time.
“Look,” Sunghoon sighs, suddenly serious. “It’s just… I’m a little worried about you, to be honest. Did something happen on New Year’s? With you and–”
“I’m fine.” You cut him off. The last thing you want to hear is the sound of his name, the reminder of what you’ve done for the sake of preserving his future. “I’m just tired, really.” You try to smile, and it’s far from convincing. “It’s been a long few days.”
Sunghoon wears his doubts as plain as day, but he won’t press the issue for now. “If you say so.” He does need you to take care of yourself, though, at least a little. “At least come eat something.” Suddenly grinning, he whispers, “I snuck in some instant ramen behind your mom’s back. C’mon, we can go make some. We can even get fancy with it, if you want. I’ll fry you an egg and everything.” He’s pulling out all the stops, a testament to how terrible you really do look.
But it works. Or it’s enough to get you out of your room, at least. Stomach grumbling, you’re about to tell Sunghoon to make it two fried eggs when the two of you are intercepted by your mother on the way to the kitchen.
“Oh,” she intones, taking in your appearance. Her eyes travel from your sweatpants to your t-shirt to your lack of makeup, disapproval apparent in every glance. “You look…”
“Save it,” you grumble, not in the mood to be ridiculed.
Pushing past her, she stops you again. “Hold on a minute. I have a question for you.”
You take a deep breath before you turn back to face her. Might as well get it over with. “Yes?”
Smoothing her hair, she tells you, “Your father and I are hosting a banquet to celebrate the firm’s most recent acquisitions. It’ll be the last weekend in January. We’d love it if you could come.”
You suppress the urge to roll your eyes, not seeing where the question was anywhere in there. To you, it sounds more like a demand.
Sensing your reluctance, she adds, “You’d be welcome to bring Jake, of course–”
“We broke up,” you inform flatly. At your side, Sunghoon stiffens.
“Oh,” your mother says again, not missing a beat. There’s very little sympathy when she adds, “Well, I suppose that’s probably for the best. Don’t you think so? I mean, you’ll be so busy with law school applications soon, it’s probably better to not have a boy around to distract you.”
You don’t bother to dignify that with a reply. Instead, you turn your back to her, fully this time. Altering your course, you set your footsteps on a path towards the garage instead of the kitchen. “I’m going for a drive,” is the explanation you throw over your shoulder.
When Sunghoon tries to follow, you just shake your head. “I want to be alone.”
“But–”
“Please.”
There must be something desperate in your features, because Sunghoon only nods, doesn’t argue further as he watches you climb in the driver’s seat of your car. He’s still standing there, concern apparent on his features as you open the garage door behind you and reverse your car out of it.
It’s been a long time since you’ve done this, driven without a destination in mind. Your playlist blares through the stereo, loud enough to drown out any thoughts that threaten to cross your mind, to consume you, to send you spiraling.
It’s not until long minutes later, when the first drop of rain hits your windshield, that you even notice the way storm clouds gather menacingly above you in the sky.
Whatever, you think, turning on your wipers and increasing the volume another notch. You’ve navigated worse. If anything, it’s a perfect match for your temper, for the way emotions swell and churn in your stomach.
Mindlessly, you let nothing but intuition guide your way, turning down streets you’ve never seen on nothing but a whim and the desire to escape, even if just for a little bit. The rain continues to pour, and the storm clouds darken in time with your mood.
By the time you do start to recognize some of the scenery around you, it’s already too late. And you’re not sure where to place your blame. Fate, your subconscious, the way you can’t seem to let him go? No matter where fault lies, you’re suddenly perfectly aware of your location.
Mostly because you’ve been here twice in the span of a month. Because you’re only a handful of blocks, at most, from Jake’s family’s home.
The realization makes you quick to pull over. The best course of action, you decide, is to plot your course home in your phone’s GPS, since clearly you can’t be trusted to wander. It’s in the middle of searching for a better signal that you see it. A flash of movement outside your window.
It’s hard to be sure, through the thick sheets of rain that fall from the sky. But then you see it again, see her again, and you would know that dog anywhere.
“Shit.” Turning to scan the backseat of your car, you find neither a jacket nor an umbrella. Nothing to shield you from the wrath of nature outside. But it’s not like you can leave Layla alone in a storm. Gritting your teeth, you set your resolve. And then you open the car door, stepping outside into the rain.
It’s the kind of downpour that’s unforgiving, that soaks you to the bone as soon as you’re in it. Hair sticking to your face and already so cold you think you might start shaking, you start Layla’s name, hoping it carries over the wind.
“Layla!” It’s all you can do to hope she hears you over the storm. You lose her for a minute. Bringing up your hand as a makeshift visor, you force your eyes to focus. When you finally see a flash of tan again, you know it’s her. The relief is short lived. Frustrated, you watch her turn to run in the opposite direction.
“Layla!” you call again, this time louder, so much so you’re sure your voice will be hoarse tomorrow. From the way rain soaks your clothes, you’ll no doubt be nursing a nasty cold along with it.Thankfully, though, your beckoning does the trick this time. At the sound of your voice, Layla spins around, makes a beeline straight towards your familiar figure.
“Layla,” you chide once she’s at your feet, still grinning at you like the two of you aren’t absolutely soaked through and freezing. “C’mon,” you open the back door of your car to let her inside. “Hop in.”
She does so without an argument, and you slide back into the driver’s seat just as soon as you shut the door behind her. Putting your car back into drive, you set your wipers to full speed and drive straight until you see the turn a few roads down, the one that you know leads straight to his house.
Still, you pull over again a few houses away, hesitating.
“Sorry, Layla,” you turn to the dog in question. She just tilts her head at you quizzically. “I’ll get you home. I just…”
Don’t want to see him. Don’t want to look at him and face his anger, his resentment, his bitterness. Surely those are the only emotions he has left for you. Besides, it would be nothing but disastrous if his older brother were home. James would assume that your presence in his home means you’ve neglected to uphold your end of the deal and as such, has no reason to honor his.
There’s a lot of damage to be done here, if you don’t go about it wisely.
Turning back to the dog in your backseat, you point at her house in front of you. “You can make it home from here, right?” Again, Layla offers nothing but the slight perking of her ears. “Your house is right there,” you point again. “Just go up to the front porch and whine or scratch at the door and they’ll let you in, alright?” You give her a scratch behind the ears for good measure.
You know Layla likes it, know that it’s her favorite place to be scratched. You know it because you watched him do it a few short weeks ago. Suddenly, you wonder if he’s noticed that she’s missing. If he’s frantic, going crazy trying to find her.
A new sense of urgency motivating your actions, you turn back to Layla one last time. “Alright, girl. I’ll watch from here. I’m gonna open the door, and I want you to go straight home, okay?”
She wags her tail at you, and that will have to be confirmation enough.
Opening your door, you slide out of the car first. You hold your arm above your head as a makeshift shield from the rain, but it’s of little use. Reaching for the handle of your car’s back door, you’re about to send Layla home on a wing and a prayer when a voice behind you calls out your name.
At least you think that’s what you hear. You can’t quite tell, over the sound of pouring rain, the whistling of the wind. Still, you turn with trepidation in your gut. Rightfully so, when you peer into the car that’s just pulled over next to you and lock eyes with no one other than Jake’s mother.
She repeats your name, this time a little more frantic. “Oh my god,” She exlaims, taking in your appearance. “You’re soaking wet. Quick, follow me home and we’ll get you warm and dry.”
“That’s okay,” you try to explain over the story, “I have Layla, actually. I saw her wandering a few blocks over, and I–”
“Layla? Oh my goodness.” Concern and gratitude color every word. “Thank you, ___. I’m sure Jake is going crazy. C’mon,” she reiterates. “Follow me, and let’s get you both inside.”
Not bothering to wait for a response, she rolls her window back up, driving away with the clear expectation that you follow. And it’s not like you have any other choice, not really. You can hardly drive away with her dog. And it’s not like you can let Layla out now, not when she’s seen you.
So, hoping against all odds neither Sim brother is home, you climb back into your car and follow her command.
“Oh my god,” she repeats when you pull into the driveway behind her, letting yourself and Layla out of your car. “You two are absolutely soaked. C’mon, quickly,” she ushers you towards the front door.
Opening it, she steps inside first.
And of course luck is not on your side. You hear him before you see him. “Mom,” he sounds panicked, horribly on edge. “Have you seen Layla? She’s been missing for almost an hour and I can’t find her anywhere. I called James, but he left on a business trip this morning.” He doesn’t leave room to breathe. “I’m worried she might have gotten outside–”
Your rescue doesn’t remain a mystery for long. Layla bounds through the front door, jumping on her favorite sibling, wet paw prints staining his jeans as her sudden movement forces the door open wider. Reveals you.
Relief washes over Jake’s features as he greets his dog just as affectionately, and then he glances upwards. He takes one look at you, soaked to the bone and shaking from the cold. Any other words he had die on his lips.
“___ found her, actually,” his mom explains, reching behind you to usher you in fully and shut the door behind you. “A few blocks over, you said?” She clarifies, turning to you.
Eyes not leaving Jake’s, you just nod.
His mother glances between the two of you, your frozen, shocked stares. The tension is palpable, and she senses it as well.
“I’m going to go get Layla dried off,” she offers. “Jake, why don’t you help ___ find a dry set of clothes.” Shuffling past the two of you, she brings Layla along with her.
And then it’s just you and him.
Both of you stand there a moment longer, neither of you saying anything.
When you do break the silence, it’s at the same time. “Are you okay?” Jake tries, just as you say, “I’m sorry.”
Another beat of silence passes between you.
Jake nods towards you. “You go first.”
“I’m sorry,” you try to explain, words feeling jumbled as you give them life. “I was driving and I saw Layla all alone, and I didn’t know…” That you’d be here. That I would run into your mom. That it would hurt so much to see you again. You don’t know what exactly you’re apologizing for, but your presence feels like an intrusion.
Jake begs to differ. “Don’t apologize.” He shakes his head. “I should be thanking you. I was worried out of my mind thinking I might never see her again.” He’s talking about Layla. You know he’s talking about Layla. But his eyes don’t leave you once.
It feels like a moment that could stretch into forever, you and him. Masking your hurt, hiding wounded prides. Standing inches apart and the distance has never felt greater.
The spell is only broken when you sneeze, an immediate reminder of the circumstances that brought you here. Of the fact that you’re trembling like a leaf in his entry way, soaked to the bone.
It's enough to spur him to action. “Come on.” He jerks his head towards the staircase behind him, voice and features still carefully guarded. “ I’ll get you some dry clothes.”
You could argue, but you don’t see a point. Not now. Silently, you follow him, all the way up the stairs and down the hallway to the last door on the left. When he opens it, there is no doubt in your mind as to what this room is.
It’s his. It has to be. You know it, from all the little pieces of himself he has on display. Pictures of him in his youth with friends that smile just as big and brightly as he does. Soccer trophies, a drawing of Layla done before he had well-developed fine-motor skills, a picture of him and his mother at the beach.
All at once, you wonder what it would have been like to discover him naturally. How long it would have taken you to uncover all these little parts of him, one by one, if any part of your relationship had been given the chance to be real.
And then you notice the mug sitting on his nightstand. The self-heating one you gave him for Christmas. There’s nothing special about it, and it’s not particularly attractive, design-wise. It’s practical. Almost impersonal. He has no reason to keep it displayed like this. Part of you wants to swell with unshed tears. The other wants to run and hide and face your shame alone.
But Jake is already rummaging through a drawer, and a moment later, he turns to face you with a pair of gray sweatpants and a matching hoodie.
“I’m sorry,” he apologizes preemptively, and you hate the uncertainty that lingers between you. The awkwardness. All the stilted pauses and unsure silences that were never there before. You hate that it’s your fault, that you have no clue how to fix it. “I’m not sure how they’ll fit.”
“That’s okay,” you shake your head, ignoring the way your heart stutters suddenly at the thought of wearing his clothes. “They’ll be dry. I appreciate it.”
“The bathroom is through there.” He nods towards the adjoining room. “There are clean towels under the sink, too, if you want to dry your hair or anything.” Pausing, he adds, “Take as long as you need.”
Nodding, you walk into his bathroom, shutting the door behind you. You know he meant it, when he told you to take your time, but part of you is hesitant to linger. Somehow, this space feels even more private, even more intimate than his bedroom. Again, you feel like an intruder. An unwanted presence in a place that’s entirely his. A place you lost the right to be when you struck a deal behind his back and took his future into your own hands.
Sighs mingling with regrets you can’t voice, you trade your rain-soaked clothes for his dry ones. You look at yourself in the mirror, and then you tuck the necklace he gave you out of sight, underneath the collar of his gray hoodie.
A minute later, you emerge from his bathroom slightly self-conscious and significantly drier. Across the room, Jake looks up at you. You watch as he swallows audibly, eyes tracing the planes of your body swallowed by his borrowed clothes. His throat bobs before he tears his eyes away.
“I should…” Again, you hate this tension between you, this uncertainty. “I should go. Thank you for the clothes. I’ll wash them and give them back once the semester starts–”
“What happened?” Jake couldn’t care less about your upcoming laundry plans. You can keep his sweatshirt and sweatpants and whatever else you want from him forever, as far as he’s concerned. Instead he’s still stuck on–
“New Year’s Eve. I thought…” He shakes his head. “I thought things were… good between us.”
And you could continue to be evasive. For his sake, you probably should.
You could continue to make his decisions for him and decide to preserve his econ grade instead of whatever unnamed feelings might still linger between the two of you. But, the quieter parts of you whisper, that would make you no different from anyone else in his life, from the people you’ve encouraged him to break free from. The people that have molded his decisions and guided his path with a heavy hand all in the name of doing what’s best for him. All because they think they know him better than he knows himself.
You don’t want to do that. What you want, here in the privacy of his bedroom, in the comfort of his borrowed clothes and the legacy of his youth, is to tell him the truth. You want to let him do with it as he sees fit. Taking a deep breath, you make your decision.
And then you brace yourself for his anger, the outrage he’ll surely have at your explanation. “Your brother–”
“My brother?” Jake’s face falls, misreading things entirely as he jumps to premature conclusions. But it’s not like he’s grasping at straws. Jake isn’t blind to the way James has been gloating more than usual as of late. To the way his mood started improving right around New Year’s Eve. And he assumes the worst. “Oh. Okay.” Jake is trying to smile, but his features are completely wilted when he says, “I guess he got that second chance after all, huh?”
“What?” Your lips twist in disgust as the implication sinks in. “No.”
“No?” Now, Jake just looks confused.
“No,” you reiterate. “Look,” you sigh, “I figured out that those plagiarism claims about your econ paper came from him.”
Across from you, Jake’s jaw drops as it sinks in. “James was the one who…”
You nod, lips tight. You still can’t believe it either. “I went to his office to confront him about it, and he told me he’d retract the accusation, but only if..”
Jake’s eyes are imploring. You have the feeling he already knows the answer. “Only if what?”
“Only if I promised to end things between us.” And there it is. The truth. Cold, hard, ugly, and Jake’s to interpret as he will. You brace for impact.
Jake is silent for a moment, shocked into stillness. And then, “He what?”
Your smile doesn’t reach your eyes. “I can see why you have such a hard time getting along with him. He’s kind of the worst.”
“Wait,” the wheels in Jake’s mind start to spin. “Did you tell him, then? About our contract and everything?”
“No,” you shake your head. “He never realized our relationship wasn't real. I just asked him to give me until New Year’s. I told him I would break up with you then, as long as he retracted the accusation.”
Jake takes a step closer to you. “And he agreed?”
You nod.
Jake pauses.Takes another step. “Why did you ask him to wait until then?”
There are a million things you could say, a million ways you could answer.
Because I couldn’t stand the thought of another New Year’s alone. Because the thought of being at a party hosted by my mother without you at my side made me want to crawl out of my own skin. Because I’m selfish. Because those butterflies in my stomach have a habit of making me do stupid things. Because everything I told your brother in his office that day was true.
You can’t give him all of it, but you can at least offer scraps of your honesty. “Because I wanted to spend my New Year’s with you.”
Jake says nothing, but his feet are moving. Each step brings him closer and closer to you. It feels a bit like it’s playing out in slow motion, delaying the inevitable. You move backwards until you run out of places to go, until he’s crowding you against the door of his bathroom, invading your space and demanding all of your attention, your focus, you.
There’s no hesitation this time around, not when he leans down, cupping your chin in one hand to adjust the angle to his liking.
“Wait,” you breathe, lips a hair's breadth from his own. “What about your brother–”
“Fuck my brother.”
And then his lips are on yours. In the sanctity of his bedroom, in the aftermath of revelations. It’s the second time in the span of a week, and it already feels familiar. A little bit like coming home.
His palm finds a place to land against the sliver of skin exposed just about the waistband of your borrowed sweatpants. A shiver traces the length of your spine, this time not from the cold but from the unbearable, unmistakable heat that threatens to boil over with every touch of a fingertip, every ghost of a caress.
When you pull back for air this time, you don’t use the moment to shatter what’s just beginning to build between you. For real this time. Instead you say, “You’re really good at that, you know.”
“Thanks,” Jake grins, still a little breathless. “I could use some more practice, though.”
And who are you to deny him an opportunity for improvement?
…
epilogue – one year later.
“This looks pretty cute on you, you know.”
“Do not touch it,” you hiss, swatting Jake’s hand away from your graduation cap. “Do you know how long it took me to bobby pin it into place? You’ll rip out half my hair if you try to move it around.”
“Okay, okay. Sorry.” Jake raises his hands in mock surrender, puts them as far as he can from your immaculately done headwear.
Unlike you, he’s dressed in jeans and a button-down. But it makes sense. After all, the only person celebrating a milestone today is you. Jake doesn’t find that he minds so much. He just submitted his final project for Advanced Typography a few days ago, and he received stellar marks on it. The best in his section, actually. Not to mention that the class has been one of his absolute favorites so far.
Besides, his time will come soon enough. In another year or two, it’ll be his turn to have a graduation cap bobby pinned to his hair. And he thinks a Graphic Design diploma will lead him to much happier places than a Business one ever would have. Even if it does come a year or two behind the schedule he once cared a lot more about.
For starters, it won’t let him or you fall into any more ridiculous traps set by his brother ever again. Turns out, things like photoshop and other image-altering softwares leave traces. Ones that Jake is now excellent at detecting and could use to easily work his way out of false plagiarism accusations the future may throw his way.
Straightening your graduation gown, your eyes land on something behind Jake’s shoulder. There’s a crowd today, as to be expected at a graduation ceremony, but you’ve always been good at finding what you’re looking for. And even better at finding what you’re avoiding.
“I think I see your family,” you nudge Jake. Even his father is here. Mostly, you suspect, because you never bothered to correct his assumption that you’re heading to law school after this. Next to him stands James, lips twisted in permanent disdain, no doubt dragged here against his will.
Still, you propose, “Should we go say hi?” The only reason you suggest it is because you also see your second favorite Sim (and first favorite on the days that Jake is particularly annoying). Hand blocking the sun and eyes wandering, you can tell that his mother is looking for the two of you.
Jake keeps his back to them, steps in front of you to block you both from their sight. “No,” he denies flatly. “My brother is still weirdly obsessed with you.”
You wink, nudge him as you tease, “Must run in the family.” It’s an echo of a past conversion and rings even more true this time around.
“C’mon,” you grab his hand, tugging him along. “I promised your mom a picture. I’ll ignore him. Trust me, I’m good at it.” Glancing down at your feet, you reconsider. “Actually, I’ll step on his foot. These heels weren’t just made to look good, you know. They’re actually a pretty decent weapon if yielded properly.”
So Jake relents, lets you pull him along. Towards an interaction he doesn't really want to have but knows he will come out of just fine. Towards a future that’s full of uncertainties and doubts, but is his alone to forge.
He doesn’t know what life will look like in ten years or five years or even just one, but he knows that he likes the way it feels when he does his best to put a little love into everything he builds. To let it swell and overflow until it touches the world around him and smoothes over lingering remnants of the bitterness and resentment and anger that never did anything but make him miserable.
And Jake likes the way it feels when you smile at him. He likes the way it feels when your hand is wrapped up in his own.
And for now, he thinks that might just be all he needs.
outtake – sixteen years ago.
At the age of six, there is a lot you don’t know about the world around you yet.
For starters, you don’t understand why it’s only grown-ups that get to drive. It seems awfully unfair that you’re always relegated to your car seat in the back when the front seems much more exciting, especially considering the way your mom is always yelling at the other cars.
You’re also not sure why she always makes you wear itchy dresses whenever you go to places with a lot of other people. After all, your princess nightgown is way more comfortable, and you like the way it feels against your skin. But no matter how many times you begged, your mom still put you in one of those awful, scratchy dresses tonight. And by the time she finally finishes her first round of mingling at your family firm’s annual charity fundraiser and lets you sit down in the seat next to her for a brief break, you’ve already been poked and prodded by people you don’t know more times than you can count.
Which is saying a lot, since you just learned your numbers up to one hundred last week.
And you’re really not sure what your mom means when she leans over to your father and whispers, “I think this could be the start of something extremely profitable. A contract with the Sims, exclusive rights to represent them legally, I mean, that’s huge.”
You scratch at your shoulder. That’s the itchiest part of your dress. Your mom leans a little closer to your father. “I know you don’t like to, but suck up to him a little tonight, if you have to. And if he invites you to golf, you must say yes. We absolutely cannot blow this opportunity.”
At six, your interest is still a flighty thing, and grown-up conversations you can’t understand are usually quick to lose it. It’s not long before your eyes are wandering for something to entertain them, something to hold your focus.
Finally, it settles on a boy halfway across the room from you. He’s small, just like you. You wonder if he’s six, too. If he can also count to one hundred now.
Head tilting, you watch as he reaches for one of the delicately balanced centerpiece bouquets sitting on a table in the middle of the room.
“Jake,” you hear someone call, that edge of worry only mothers can manage clouding her voice. “Don’t touch that, sweetheart. It’s fragile.”
“Fragile?” The boy repeats.
“It could break easily,” she explains patiently, pulling his hand into hers as she guides him away from the fragile centerpiece. If he is six, you’re definitely smarter than him. After all, you already knew what fragile means.
But watching his retreating back, you wonder some more. Wonder if he was made to wear an itchy outfit tonight too, wonder if he’s ever gotten to drive a car or if all mothers are thieves of fun, just like yours. Wonder if he also hates coming to these things, if people pinch and prod at him too.
“Jake.” You try out his name, just to see how it feels in your mouth.
Momentarily distracted by the reminder from your mother to keep your voice at a whisper level, you lose him in the crowd.
Jake, you think to yourself. Most of all, you wonder if he would be your friend.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆ ⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
note: thank you for reading!! I know that this one is quite the commitment with the word count, so I really do appreciate it. as always, I love to hear thoughts, comments, screaming, etc. in the comments, reblogs, or my inbox! also, like part one, this is the latest version I had saved in my docs, and I didn't reread before posting. if there's anything glaringly off, please let me know. other than that, please excuse any minor grammatical stuff.
#enhypen fanfiction#jake sim fanfic#jake sim x reader#enhypen x you#enhypen x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#jake sim scenarios#jake sim imagines#enhypen fanfic#enhypen angst#enhypen fluff#jake sim fluff#jake sim angst
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“happy birthday, pretty boy” - sim jaeyun
part 2 of e(nnn)- (a nnn series)
pairing: switch!jake x switch!fem!reader
warnings: oral (f&m receiving), making out, 69 position, lingerie mentioned, idk what else to put help me
synopsis: while your boyfriend is trying his hardest to win a bet made by his best friends to not have sex for a month, you couldn’t help but give him a little show on his birthday
masterlist!
"jake i'm telling you right now there's no way you're winning that ps5"
"you really have that little faith in me?!"
"have you met yourself? last week you begged me to let you eat me out because you were 'pussy deprived' while i was on my period. it had been 3 days."
your boyfriend sighed in defeat, knowing you were right. but was it really his fault? you were just so perfect, he could never get enough of you!
"well i'm going to prove you wrong, just watch. on december 1st when i'm collecting my ps5 from sunghoon i'll remind you of this very moment," jake said, crossing his arms as he dramatically turned away from you
you laughed to yourself, rolling your eyes at his dramatics. you knew your boyfriend, and you knew there was absolutely no way that he was lasting this entire month, especially with his birthday being a few weeks away. he can tell himself whatever he wants, but you both know in the end, he's not getting that ps5.
______________________________________________________________
it had been two weeks and he was honestly doing way better than anybody expected. everyday the boys waited for a text message saying he lost, some even placing further bets on how many hours days he could last before he lost
"can you believe them?! i was on the phone with hoon earlier and i heard heeseung give jungwon money after saying i lasted longer than he thought! i can't believe theyre making bets on me, like, am i really that horny?" he complained to you as you were eating dinner together
"in their defense, you are a pretty big man whore. i mean, have you seen the videos of yourself from the concerts? licking your lips, showing your abs, grinding the air, they definitely aren't wrong for thinking that. plus i am 100 percent sure they have heard us have sex in the dorms multiple times", you said back to him. everybody knows that jake practically lives off of sex. not in a weird way, but you just energize him so much. with so much stress of being an idol, getting to come home and fuck his frustrations out, or eat you out for hours until you're overstimulated, it's an instant destresser
"well, yeah but, they could at least have a little more confidence in me", he said with a pout, continuing to eat the food you had made for him earlier
"okay you big baby", you said with a laugh, getting up to take your empty plate to the sink to wash
your boyfriend followed soon behind with his empty plate, slightly pushing you out of the way and taking the sponge out of your hand to wash the dishes for you. you smiled at him fondly as you moved to sit on the counter directly next to the sink. you sat and admired your boyfriend, looking so domestic as he washed the dishes in your apartment. you looked forward to the day that he could finally move in with you full-time, after the pressures of being an idol aren't so heavy
"you're staring, pretty girl", he said with a smirk, not moving his attention from the plates in front of him
"yeah cause you're just so handsome", you said not being able to hold back your smile
he giggled a bit at your statement before refocusing on the task in front of him
"so!" you said, clapping your hands together, "what are we doing tomorrow, birthday boy?"
"i didn't really have any plans in mind, probably hang with the boys for a bit, get dinner or whatever then come back and chill here with you. nothing too crazy", he said nonchalantly, turning of the sink and drying his hands as he finished washing everything
"are you serious? its your 21st birthday jakey, you have to do something!" you said, wrapping your arms around his neck as he stood between your legs. because you were sitting on the counter you were eye level with him. he put his hands on your thighs as he looked at you with a smile
"yeah yeah i know but... i dont know. not really in the going out mood, id rather just chill and spend it here with you", he said moving his face close to yours, noses rubbing together. you hummed as you closed the gap between you both, lips molding together as your hands played with the hair at the nape of his neck. he pulled away, rubbing your noses together once more before standing back to look at you
"you sure you don't wanna go out somewhere tomorrow? nothing at all you can think of?" you asked once more, intertwining your hands together
"nothing, i promise. we can go out to eat with the boys and then come back and have a movie night or something. just wanna be with you", he said with a smile. you flushed at his words. even after dating for so long he never failed to make you flustered
"okay, now come on pretty boy let's go to bed, i'm tired", you said, wrapping your arms and legs around your boyfriend to signal him to carry you to your bedroom. he laughed and shook his head before putting his hands under your thighs and picking you up, walking to your room
______________________________________________________________
the next day was filled with multiple surprises for your boyfriend, waking him up to breakfast in bed, giving him a beautiful white gold bracelet you had found for him a few weeks ago, the boys showing up early to your house to give him the gifts they had bought him before all going out to dinner together that night.
you all had a great time, talking and laughing loudly for hours, probably annoying the rest of the patrons in the restaurant. your boyfriend thanked his friends, as well as you for making his birthday such a fun day, but what he didn't know was that you had one more surprise for him.
you had been planning this for a while, being very glad he opted to staying in for his birthday as it helped your plan go smoother. you knew he had that bet with his friends but, we all knew he was gonna lose at one point or another, so why not have it be on his birthday? he wasn't even a big gamer anyways, it wasn't like he would be super disappointed if he didnt get the gaming console.
you were gonna make some excuse to get him back to your place, changing into your brand new black lingerie set you got specifically for this occasion. you knew he loved when you wore black, since it was one of his favorite colors. you hoped the lingerie set would get him to break, giving up on his bet with his friends
after dinner was paid for (thank you jay🙏🏼), your boyfriend bid goodbye to his friends, walking back to your car with you
you drove home in a comfortable silence, his hand on your thigh as you looked out the window, music lowly playing in the background. you were getting excited for your plans, feeling the heat in your core grow as you slightly shifted in your seat
"you okay babe?" jake asked, looking at you slightly
"yeah, i'm fine" you said with a smile, grabbing his hand off your thigh to intertwine it with yours, as the close proximity to your core was getting you more worked up than you already were
you thought you were being slick, but your boyfriend knew about this whole ordeal. he had accidentally seen the lingerie in your dresser, and when he didnt recognize it he figured you had bought it for this reason. and after seeing the way you tried to hide yourself getting worked up during dinner, snd in the car next to him just now, confirmed his suspicions. he smiled to himself before focusing back on the road, feeling your stare on the side of his face. usually he would tease you, but right now he wanted nothing more than to get you home and fuck you til you can't walk
the ride back to your apartment felt longer than usual, your arousal continuing to pool in your panties the more you thought about the night to come. you finally arrived, and jake got out the car quickly to open the door for you, helping you out of the car. he grabbed your hand as he led you inside. he unlocked the door to your apartment, letting you go in first, following behind closely
before you knew it, you were pushed up against your front door, your boyfriends lips clashing with yours passionately as his hands roamed over your body
your eyes widened in surprise, not expecting him to be the one to initiate the intimacy. you soon melted into your boyfriends arms, wrapping your arms around his neck to tangle in his hair as your tongues clashed in each others mouths. he picked you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist, not breaking the kiss as he walked to your bedroom, placing you down on the bed, leaning back to take of his shirt, throwing it across the room before coming back down to kiss you again
"fuck, jakey, what about your bet?" you moaned out as he moved his lips down your neck and chest
"first of all, fuck the bet. second of all, you think i didn't know all about your little plan for tonight? that pretty little lingerie set that you bought just for me. lucky for you, i'm gonna let you save that for another day, right now i just wanna feel you around me" he said as he continued to leave open mouthed kisses down your neck and chest, putting his hands up your shirt to massage your breasts over your bra
you moaned as you moved your hands to take off your shirt, sitting up for a second to lift it over your head, discarding it somewhere in your room
jake moved further down your chest now that he had more access, taking one of his hands to unbuckle your bra skillfully, like he had done it a billion times
after your bra was off, he moved his mouth down to suck your nipples, licking and kissing then as he used one of his hands to roll your other nipple between his fingertips. your hands were in his hair, pulling and tugging on it slightly, making him moan into your breasts, sending vibrations all through your body
"baby please, i need you so bad" you moaned out, becoming impatient
"so needy, my baby. can't believe i was gonna make you wait a whole month without my dick" he said, kissing down your body as he made his way to where you were craving him most
"wait", you said, putting your hand on his head to stop his motions. you put your hand under his chin to pull him back up to your face, before pushing him over so he was under you
he gasped at the sudden movement before smirking at you, immediately putting his hands behind his head
"wanna take care of my pretty boy" you said as you moved down to his dick, kissing and lick his defined abs on the way down. you unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down off his legs before cupping his clothed dick in your hands
he moaned out at the feeling as you palmed him through the thin fabric of his underwear, cursing lowly under his breath
"please don't tease princess, it's been way too long i need to feel your mouth around me already" he said with a whine
"whatever my birthday boy wants" you said, slipping your fingers into the sides of his boxers, sliding them down his thighs. his dick sprung up from the fabric, stand so tall and prettily. you swear his dick was the prettiest one in the world, the veins going up the side were just so perfect, he wasn't bigger than average, but he was so thick, and his tip was so red and pretty, already leaking precum
he groaned as he was finally released from the constraints of any fabrics, moving his hands down to tangle in your hair
you took his dick in your hands as you slowly licked all the way from the base to the tip, your boyfriend moaning out loudly as you did so. you began to suck his tip gently, licking his slit and tasting his precum on your tongue
"fuck, baby, you said anything i want right? i want you to sit on my face please. you take my dick so well in your mouth but i want to taste you too. please baby", he whined out as you continued to suck only the tip. you smiled up at him before standing up to remove your pants and underwear
"of course pretty boy, it's your night" you said as you climbed onto the bed seductively, moving your legs over your boyfriends head so you were hovering above his mouth. you could feel his warm breath on your pussy, and his nose rubbing against your clit. you moaned slightly as you leaned forward to take his dick into your moth again
you began sucking on it harshly, before feeling jake pull your hips down harshly, suffocating himself with your pussy. he was licking and sucking on your clit so well, you could barely concentrate on what you were doing. you continued to bob your head up and down over his cock as he keep eating you out, your moans being muffled by his dick. the vibrations of your moans over his dick made him approach his orgasm faster than usual, already feeling his stomach tighten and his dick twitching in your mouth. he didn't want to cum before you, so he started to speed up his actions, hands tightly gripping your thighs, probably leaving a mark tomorrow
he heard your moans get higher in pitch, and your hips began to grind onto his face slightly, signaling you were close. you continued moving up and down on his dick, hands massaging his balls as you felt his dick twitch in your mouth. your orgasm hit you hard, hips bucking onto your boyfriends face as you tried to continue sucking on his dick, becoming too distracted on by your own orgasm hitting you. jake didn't stop his ministrations, riding you through your orgasm, making sure to lick up every last drop of your juices. your hand continued to move up and down his dick, and you moved your head back down to his dick so he could come too. not long after he was cumming in your mouth, moaning into your pussy sending vibrations and overstimulating you
you gathered all his cum into your mouth, sitting up and turning around so he could see your face as you swallowed it. that was one of his favorite parts when you sucked his dick, getting to see you swallow his load
his hands moved to your waist as you sat over his abs, feeling your juices spread over his stomach. you leaned down to kiss him, and he practically got hard again tasting himself on your lips. you smiled into the kiss as you pulled away, biting his lip before you pulled away and let go
"happy birthday, pretty boy"
you rolled off his stomach to lay next to him, turning your head to look at him with a smile. he looked back at you, returning the smile fondly. he rolled to the side to cuddle into you, but you put a hand on his chest to stop him before he could
"you thought we were done baby? oh no, were just getting started"
a/n: GUYS FINALLY I KNOW ITS OUT AHHHHH. i wrote this all in one sitting cuz i was determined to finally get it out for you guys after weeks of not being able to😭 i hope you guys enjoy, and sorry it’s a little short🥲🥲🥲
taglist (closed!): @yannew @hanienie @beomgyusonlywife @akirakinimi @multifandomgurllll @boutyouwonu @kissmunalodz @5xiang @ibsysbsfsunsbs @guqsnfics @hellaboredd @wvnkoi @kpopslover @heerinnie @climbingmandevillas @rikisly @simeonswhore @lilriswife4life @daegutowns @harrietbarnesblog @wonniie3 @ariadores @yizhoutv @lilizinho @firstclassjaylee @olivehues @ikeusol @bunhoons @electrobutterfly @choijxn @baekxo07 @youronevia @eneiyri @soobery @heeseungshim @furious-eagle @nyxluvethn @jongseongslvr @wonniewonwon @sunsunl0ver @mixtape-racha @jakeslvt @lomlj4ke @neocockthotology @babyy-bambii @fluerz @adriana7863 @trashx678 @yelleloww @brownsugarbaybee @kaislinging-slasher01 @jena4realz @deobitifull @heartzhailey @stuckonclouds @sunoosgf001 @jwnghyuns @auraxyzz @kaisplushies @dazzlingligth @hoseokteardrop
(if your name is NOT greyed out i cannot tag you!)
#jungwon hard thoughts#enhypen#jungwon smut#heewonenthusiast speaks!#heewonenthusiast asks!#enhypen smut#enhypen hard hours#enhypen hard thoughts#heeseung smut#jaeyun smut#jake enhypen#jake fluff#jake sim#enhypen jaeyun#jaeyun fluff#sim jaeyun#jungwon hard hours#jungwon imagines#jungwon fluff#heeseung fluff#heeseung#jay fluff#jay smut#enhypen jay#sunghoon smut#sunghoon enhypen#sunghoon fluff#park sunghoon#enhypen fluff#enhypen imagines
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A Gift for the 20th Anniversary of The Sims 2
Well, this would normally be the part where I just uploaded a picture of what it is and a link to the download, but I decided to bring back me going on verbose tirades, if not for just a tiny bit This game has been in my life for very long time, 20 years huh, next year the game will legally be allowed to drink in all countries, xD So what did I decide to make to celebrate this special location, something related to Iconic things like the freezer bunny, llamas, cowplants? No, I decided to celebrate what could have been.
This is an early screenshot for The Sims 2 prior to release, for a while, we knew that at a point in development, jewelry was added to the game, only for it to be completely dropped before the game went gold.
What we can see in this screenshot, is what I suspect to be where you would be able to buy said jewelry in a community lot, this being one of the two pictures where you can see said displays (The other picture having slightly worse visibility of said displays)
I've always wanted to see these displays in full glory, but considering how much we've digged out of the game files already, nothing related to these displays remains in the game files
So, I decided to try my luck to recreate them
I knew coming into this project that they would never bee a 1 for 1 recreation (proportions might be wrong, can't really see how the jewelry in the displays looks like in detail), so I decided to at least recreate the overall shape of the stands and fill them with jewelry that ended up shipping with Boy Voyage, and a bit from the Prism Art Studio jewelry display as well for good measure. I am happy with my work, but feel free to try and fill the stands in your own way, that was decidedly my worse struggle with this, just give me credits.
and now without further ado! Download Here - Neocities
And Happy 20th Birthday The Sims 2!!!
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Hello! Can I request small drabble with Astarion and his very chaotic adorkable son? Have a nice playthrough! :3
A/n: YES! More dad Astarion! Also thank you, I will 🥰
Astarion loved his little girl, so much like you. Nothing but kind eyes and smiles from his little Sun spot. So when you approached him, informing him that you were carrying his child, well he couldn’t help but feel ecstatic about it.
I mean it’s not like he was trying to get you pregnant again, it’s not like he wanted to see more little versions of himself and you running around causing havoc.
And soon his son was born, a splitting image of him as you would often say, but his son was not his nothing like his little girl.
His son had more of a….fiery personality though the others would see him as being more chaotic.
Astarion often found himself saying no to his children, it would be worse when then would look up at him with big eye, quivering their lips.
“Astarion!”
‘Of course Gale would have to spoil his mood, it seemed the man deemed it his responsibility to look at you whenever you were pregnant.
“What do you want now? If you are asking for my beloved ! She is sleeping…she’s been awfully exhausted.”
Scowling for a moment, Gale patted out his singed robe. “I am not here for that!” The man snapped, though he took a deep breath to calm himself as he stepped towards Astarion.
“I am here for your son.”
“And prey tell me what has my son done?” Astarion stated as the three year old rushed towards his fathers arms. “Because in my eyes, he can do no wrong.”
Scoffing, Gale turned his head away as you slowly walked towards them.
“Now look at what you’ve done, you’ve awoken sweetness with your loud voice.” Astarion snapped drawing you close to his side as his son buried his face into his neck.
Gale parted his lips then let out an irritated sigh turning his head away for a moment. He could have sworn he saw the little bugger flash him a smile before he turned his head back into his fathers embrace.
“Just, watch your son Astarion. He made a small fire, one that nearly wet my robes on fire.”
“Nonsense! My children can do no harm! Especially my sim.” He stated as Gale let out out an irritated sigh.
Shaking his head, Gale cleared out his throat as he tipped his head to you and your daughter that was clinging to Astarion’s pant legs. “Just…keep a better eye on him, or at least teach him how to properly cast the damn spell.” Clearing out his throat, he gave everyone a tight lipped smile. “Have a nice evening.”
Once he was gone, Astarion gave his son a smile as he tossed him in the air. “What a good boy you are.”
His son squealed with laughter as he then wrapped his arms around his neck. “You’re not mad papa?”
“Of course not! I’m just going to have to teach you how to sneak a little better.” Astarion glanced up at you, though you shook her head you did have a smile on your lips.
Feeling rather pleased with himself he started to walk off to were you both would train. “Now come along everyone.”
Rolling your eyes, you grasped your daughters hand following Astarion and your son. “Let’s make sure they won’t burn the forest down. The last thing I need is Halsin being upset.”
Nodding her head, her curls bounced as she skipped off to her father.
Pausing in your steps your hand moved your your growing belly, your gaze softening on Astarion and your children. After all the trauma he faced, you were happy to see him slowly recover.
“Are you coming my treasure?”
Humming, you stepped towards him as you took hold of Astarion’s hand. “Yes, but let me teach him somethings. I know the perfect spells.”
“Anything for you my love.”
#drabbles#drabble#astarion#astarion romance#astarion x female reader#astarion x y/n#astarion x reader#astarion x mc#astarion x you#astarion x tav#bauldrs gate#bauldrs gate 3#Bauldrs gate x reader#Bauldrs gate x you#bauldrs gate 3 x reader
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SEVEN ROYALTIES
“once upon a time, two runaway royals found their peace and comfort in each other” — sim jake
sim jake x fem!reader genre: strangers to lovers , fake relationship , he fell first but she fell harder , runaway royals , fluff , angst ! warnings: mentions of pregnancy(nothing serious i promise trust me) , mentions of food (not specifically, just meals). | NOT FULLY PROOFREAD!!
WORD-COUNT ; 6.9k+
NOTE. i admit, it took me a while to finish it and gosh im so disappointed in this one too omfg- its kinda awful at first but it gets a bit better towards the end(?) just hope y’all won’t be disappointed ! hints of sunghoon’s story are here as well<3
“did someone ever told you how pretty you are?”
“yes, numerous times actually”
“we’d make a pretty couple together”
you rolled your eyes for the nth time this week. it’s your fifth date for this week so far, you’ve honestly had enough of your parents setting you up with disgusting princes who search for nothing but your beauty to show off.
“no, not with you sorry” you replied and quickly left the place back to your palace.
“i can’t believe you keep setting me up with some creeps!” you disturbed your parents’ dinner and barged into the dining room.
“sweetie you already know why we’re doing this,” your mother spoke, “you need to find someone to marry already! your older sister already did that”
“i don’t care about my older sister nor marriage, those filthy princes care nothing but my face”
“well that’s a good thing then! you’re very popular amongst the princes you know”
you groaned. your parents will never get you, will they?
every person you’ve met, every prince that you went on a date with, each one of them kept complimenting you and your beauty.
all princes are the same, you’re sure of that.
you’ve heard dozens of times the same sentences again and again.
“we’d make a pretty couple together” , “my future kingdom will be happy to have such a pretty queen like you” , “if i’ll marry you i won’t need to worry about having beautiful children” — yuck.
all you want is someone to notice you and care for you not because of your beauty, you want someone to love you because of your personality, not because of how pretty you look in their eyes.
what’s so special about you and your beauty anyway?
ever since you were born your parents showed off your beauty. even your older sister didn’t get much attention.
your beauty is clearly beyond compare and because of that you got pretty popular amongst the royals. every kingdom knows you as the most beautiful princess out there.
they made you some kind of trophy, that whoever gets you is a winner. it’s disgusting.
objecting you is disgusting and considering you as a trophy is sickening.
you can’t lie, you’d definitely date yourself if you could, but you believe that there’s a lot more beyond than your beauty only.
“the date didn’t work out?” your father asked you.
“obviously,” you rolled your eyes, “you should stop trying to set me up with princes”
“not going to happen until you find someone to marry” your mother glared at you, “we’ve set you a new date tomorrow, you should go sleep early today”
you sighed and went back to your room.
you have to stop this, until when are you going to suffer?
this is your only chance. run away now or never.
at night, you packed your stuff. you hate the fact that your closet is full with dresses. stupid princess’ dress code.
you packed only small amount of dresses, and a lot of money. tons of money.
you waited for the right time and when it was late enough, you sneaked out slowly and surely.
when the cold breeze hit your skin you shivered but smiled, you were finally free.
you ran away, far away from your palace and hometown.
you ran until you saw a tall building, probably a hostel where you could stay for the night.
“welcom— are you princess y/n or am i just blind” the one who sat behind the counter greeted you.
“um i think you got mistaken” you chuckled nervously.
“oh, okay. it must be late and i’m just tired” he said, “how can i help you?”
you ended up spending the night in the small hostel. it’s not something you’re used for, but luckily, you could easily adjust that kind of life.
you left early in the morning, not wanting to get noticed by anyone as you were still a bit close to you hometown and the citizens might still recognize you. you couldn’t take that risk of being caught.
a few hours passed and hybe’s kingdom was a chaos yet again.
this time, the queen was a bit angry since someone ditched her son.
“how can that princess just not show up!” she shout angrily.
“jake, i promise i’ll talk with her mother and sort this whole thing out” she added.
jake sighed. it was supposed to be his fifth date for this week and he’s been more than tired of his mother’s endless nagging about marriage.
out of all the seven brothers, she chose to bother jake the most, setting him up for loads and countless dates.
today, he was supposed to have a date with a princess named l/n y/n or something. he honestly couldn’t care less at this point.
he had never heard about that princess, but his mother couldn’t stop praising her for her beauty.
she can’t be that pretty, right?
it was later that day when your kingdom announced you as missing.
your parents woke up to nothing but anxious feeling around the palace as you were supposed to be awaken up earlier than usual but were nowhere to be found.
your mother cursed under her breath, not only that her daughter is missing, now she has to deal with the queen of hybe’s kingdom and her son.
how is she going to face them now?
she paid a visit in hybe’s kingdom a few hours later, speaking with the queen and trying to calm her down.
“she’s missing, nowhere to be found around the kingdom” your mother told the other queen.
“i understand, we’ll do our best to help you find her. it’s unbelievable that a princess is running away just like that”
jake, who heard the whole conversation grew some curiosity about you.
how dare a royal blood run away like that? is it that easy? how are you doing right now and how did you even manage to run away?
he jumped from his bed and walked to his older brother heeseung.
“hey!” he called heeseung who was busy daydreaming about something.
“hm? oh hey”
“what are you doing?” he sat next to his brother that laid on his bed.
“just thinking about something”
“something or someone?” jake teased.
“does that matter?” heeseung groaned and sat up next to jake, “what did you want to talk about?”
“have you ever thought about running away from this palace?”
after hours of walking from one city to the other, you arrived to a small village.
it looked too welcoming and warm outside, it definitely had you drawn to it.
as you entered you’ve met with some fellow villagers who worked on their beautiful green, full with flowers, fresh fruits and so much more garden.
it looked really disconnected to the royal life you know. life in this village seems so peaceful and quiet.
you asked the fellow villagers to meet the head of the village and maybe convince him into letting you get a house.
“we have a free house down this road, it’s a bit far from the center of this village but i’m sure you’ll get to meet everyone in this village as fast as possible” he said warmly and you gladly accepted the idea.
“are you sure i’ve never seen you before? you look very familiar” he added and you quickly shook your head, “you’re probably mistaken, a lot of people told me i look like the princess in the other kingdom there but it’s not the case at all”
“i see, let’s go! i’ll show you around” he smiled and lead the way.
“your house is free to live in, no need to pay for rent or buy this house, this house belongs to the village” he explained as soon as you entered your new house.
it’s small, but it looks so comfortable. your palace is huge, this little house is definitely not something you’re used to. but something about this house feels different, different than anything else you know.
“in return, you need to work for the village” he added, “every morning we wake up and each one of us volunteers, whether it’s in the garden, or the local stores around, you just need to sign in and start working!”
you nodded and your tour kept on going.
“running away? are you insane? do you even hear what you’re saying right now?” heeseung angrily remarked.
“i’m not saying i’ll do that, i was just asking if you ever thought about that” jake sighed.
“no, i haven’t,” heeseung shook his head, “royal life is not so bad, why would i even think about running away?”
“you’re falling in love with a commoner and now i’m the insane one” jake mumbled under his breath, “okay good talk! i was just asking”
jake left his older brother’s room and sighed.
is it that wrong to run away? then why did you, l/n y/n decided to leave your royal life and run away?
jake then knocked on his other brother’s room sunghoon.
sunghoon is quite literally jake’s best friend. they know everything about each other and always talk to each other when life gets too hard.
whenever jake wants to cheer up, he goes to sunghoon. whenever sunghoon needs a shoulder to lean on, jake gives him his.
“sunghoon” jake called his brother.
“hm? is everything okay?” sunghoon asked right away.
“what about you?”
“i honestly don’t know man, the girl i want doesn’t want me so i don’t really know what to do” sunghoon sighed, “but you haven’t answered my question and i asked first”
“everything is fine i just….” jake froze for a second.
how would sunghoon react? just like his older brother heeseung? no, no. sunghoon is definitely different than heeseung.
but should he ask him? what could possibly happen?
“just…?” sunghoon asked curiously.
“i was just wondering if you ever thought about running away” he finally let out.
sunghoon was quite for a few seconds, trying to process what he just heard.
it made jake nervous and anxious, will he get angry? no, he has no reason to. is there a possibility that sunghoon will go snitch on him to their parents? no, sunghoon’s not that kind of person.
or maybe yes? god, it’s making him go crazy.
“sunghoon….?”
“what made you think about running away?”
“huh?” jake was left confused. how did he know?
it’s as if sunghoon can read his brother’s mind because a second after he giggled, “you wouldn’t ask me that question if you yourself never thought about it”
jake chuckled, “answer me first i’ll answer you then”
“yes” sunghoon quiet down his giggles, “i thought about it, also thought about giving up on my crown multiple times”
“i was supposed to have a meeting with another princess today” jake finally spoke.
“mom just can’t rest about that, can she?” sunghoon rolled his eyes and jake shook his head.
“her name is l/n y/n—“ “no way! the most beautiful princess?”
sunghoon cut him mid-way through his sentence and jake shrugged.
“how come i’ve never heard about her?”
sunghoon then put his hand on jake’s shoulder and laughed, “jake” he sighed, “only pretty people know other pretty people”
jake rolled his eyes and shoved sunghoon playfully, “whatever you say”
“what about her though?”
“i was supposed to go on a date with her, but she didn’t show up”
“oooooh she ditched you”
“shut up”
“sorry man, it happens to the best of us”
“you can’t be saying all those stuff when the woman you want to marry doesn’t even love you”
“hey, we’re not talking about that” sunghoon pointed at jake seriously and jake could only sigh.
“sorry, i was about to say that she’s now missing, she ran away from her palace”
“no way!”
“yes way! her mother came here to explain the whole situation”
“this is serious” sunghoon gasped and jake nodded.
“that made me think about the possibilities of running away” he fiercely looked into sunghoon.
sunghoon nodded and laid his hand over jake’s shoulders, “if it thrills you and interests you, do it”
jake looked surprised into sunghoon’s eyes, “really? you don’t think it’s insane or crazy?”
“hey, you know what’s crazy?”
“yes i already know the woman you love doesn’t love you back! just go and apologize or something!”
“what makes you think i didn’t do that already?” sunghoon groaned.
“should i just run away now?”
“go for it”
“ok”
“wait not really, you’re still not ready, take a few days and think about it throughly” sunghoon stopped his brother before he was going to do anything stupid.
“you’re right” jake nodded, “i’ll take a few days”
“morning!”
your first day volunteering in the local convenience store just started. you were greeted by most of the villagers with a wide smile and a lot of compliments.
“oh you’re so pretty! would you like to meet my son? he’s really really handsome i think you’d make a cute couple” one of them said with a smile.
you just shrugged her off, thanking her and laughing it away.
“are you sure i haven’t seen you before? you look like the—“ “princess from the other kingdom, i know” you smiled, “i heard that a lot”
“i have to meet your parents one day! how come they have such a pretty daughter and you’re still single?” she asked innocently.
the reminder of your parents made you stop everything you did.
what are they up to right now? do they even care about you being gone? are they going to search for you?
“are you okay y/n?” she waved her hand in front of your face, “yes, my parents are just really far away from here and i haven’t seen them in a while, we don’t talk a lot” you continued helping her and sent her off.
you like your work and new home. you can definitely see yourself spending the rest of your life in this peaceful place.
“boys, as you already know, princess y/n is missing,” the queen told her seven sons, “if any of you get to hear about her, please let us know”
the boys nodded. sunghoon glanced at his brother jake, who was busy thinking and daydreaming about something.
“jake,” sunghoon called, “is everything okay?”
all the eyes in the room looked at him now. “hm?” he asked, “oh yes don’t worry”
“are you sure jake? i know it’s not fun to be stood up” the queen pat his shoulder and his siblings all tried to hide their laughs.
“yes i’m fine”
sunghoon then dragged his brother into his room and forced him to sit on his bed.
“something is wrong” he said.
“guilty” jake sighed, he was trying his best to hide his feelings today, “i just haven’t slept, i’m tired, that’s all”
“okay” sunghoon nodded, “go sleep then”
“o…….kay?”
“that didn’t work as well as i planned it to work” sunghoon mumbled under his breath.
“get up” he ordered.
“why?” jake tilt his head in confusion.
“we’re going to search for the princess”
“are you planning to sneak out right now? are you crazy?” jake’s eyes widened.
“no jake, we’ll just have a walk around the town”
they did end up having a walk with a few guards by their side.
sunghoon is was busy looking around while jake spent his time asking about the runaway princess. needless to say he doesn’t even know how she looks.
“have you seen princess y/n?” jake asked one of the civilians, “who?” the civilian asked back.
“princess y/n” jake repeated, “the most beautiful princess…” he hoped your nickname would be familiar to the civilian but it was no use.
“you’re not helping me here” jake rolled his eyes and shoved his brother.
“sorry, was just thinking about something”
“something as ways to get into your enemy’s heart?”
“she’s not my enemy”
“i’m pretty sure she’d tell me otherwise”
sunghoon groaned and pushed his brother playfully, “let’s just go back, we’re not getting closer to something anyway”
a few weeks passed and sunghoon managed to keep his brother and stop him from running away through manipulating him into doing other things to make him forget about the whole idea.
a few weeks passed ever since you were announced as the runaway princess.
a few weeks passed ever since the village you moved in, became your home.
life in the village was the best thing ever happened to you.
all the villagers welcomed you with open arms and also fell in love with your beauty.
they called you the village’s princess. ironic isn’t it?
you almost completely forgot about your royal life. you got used to their modern uniforms, apparently not only dresses were in fashion!
your own kingdom was almost long forgotten and so are your parents. everything you grew up to suddenly vanished from your new life in the village, you became one of them already.
a few weeks passed since jake asked his brothers about the whole running away idea, and he’s still thinking about it up until this day.
he hasn’t been sleeping well ever since he first thought about it. which is probably the reason to why he looks like a zombie walking around the palace.
his mother also stopped bothering him about dates. she thought he was too broken from being ditched. ouch.
another day full of adventures and sunghoon’s endless distractions passed, and after dozens of sleepless nights he decided to make his run away plan.
before he does that, he went to talk with the most responsible brother in his opinion, jungwon.
it was midnight already but jake couldn’t wait until sunrise, he has to let it all out.
luckily for him, jungwon was wide awake in his bed.
“jake? is everything okay? what makes you come here at midnight?”
“i have to tell you something” jake bit his lips, “it’s important, really”
“can’t it wait for the morning?” although jungwon was wide awake, he couldn’t really process anything as his mind was occupied by something else.
“i just wanted to say that i’ll be gone for a while. i don’t know for how long” jake sighed, “could be days, weeks, months or never”
“jake what are you talking about?”
“just please, don’t search for me and help me out on this one”
“do you even hear what you’re saying?”
“i’ll be fine, i promise” jake licked his lower lips out of anxiety, “i just really need a break from all of this life for a while”
jungwon tilt his head. he couldn’t understand his older brother at all.
“everything is just stressing me out, i just need some quiet” he continued.
as much as jake tried to hide it, his brothers could’ve seen he wasn’t being his best lately.
jake would usually be the first one to wake up in the morning and then would jump on each one’s bed to wake them up with a hug after then of course, but lately something has changed in jake.
he suddenly stopped hugging or jumping around, even started to wake up the last without even calling good morning.
it was obvious he needed some help.
“do you think it’d help you?” jungwon asked.
“hm?”
“do you think running away would help you find peace?” he repeated and jake nodded.
“so you do you” jungwon smiled, “i’ll miss you though”
jake smiled even wider than jungwon and hugged him, “thank you”
“i’ll just tell mom and dad you’ve went to pay a visit in your friends’ kingdom for a few months and explain the situation” jungwon blinked a few times, “please don’t disappear forever”
“i won’t, i promise” he held out his pinky and jungwon interlocked his pinky.
“i’ll kill you if you won’t come to my future wedding”
“i’ll probably marry before you and you’d be able to see my wedding in this palace” he chuckled, that was a sign for jungwon that jake is not going to be gone forever, and it made him smile to know that his brother won’t be a runaway prince for long.
a few hours later jake finally made his way out of the palace, leaving a note beside sunghoon’s bed telling him that he’ll be gone for a while.
he’s going to miss his brothers for sure.
the next morning you woke up earlier than usual, feeling a bit uneasy and something was bothering you.
you slowly got ready for the day and went out of your house to have a little walk alone around the village.
you were taking your time to take in the beauty of the village you’ve been living in for a few weeks already, closing your eyes and breathing slowly as you held your hands together.
you finally opened your eyes just to notice a small figure slowly making it’s way into the village.
that person looks so tired and overworked.
the person was wearing a big sweater with black pants, he also has a quite big bag on his bag as he takes slow steps.
you moved a bit closer to the person in hurry. calling the person so you’ll get noticed by him.
“hey! hello! do you perhaps need help?”
the person slowly looked at you and his eyes formed into a soft gaze, as if he was thankful that he finally saw another person.
you noticed he started to walk closer to you in hurry, and somehow you didn’t feel threatened or scared at all.
you finally reached to him with a smile and he looked at you.
“who are you?” you suspiciously asked. “i’m sorry madam, let me introduce myself, i’m sim jake, hybe’s-“
“hybe’s prince” you gasped, you heard about hybe kingdom a few times and you heard about sim jake, and to be honest, you can’t think of anyone who didn’t hear about them.
the kingdom is one of the famous kingdom out of all, you never would’ve imagine they have such a handsome son amongst the seven of them.
“and you are?” he shrugged off the fact that you just cut him in the middle of the sentence.
“i’m l/n y/n—“ “the runaway princess?”
“huh?” you tilt your head in confusion.
“are you l/n y/n the runaway princess?”
“no……?”
“was that a question?”
“no! i’m not the runaway princess”
“are you lying?” he raised a brow, clearly not believing you.
“no?”
“was that a question again?”
“fine! here, you can take me away” you said, holding your hands together for him to handcuff you.
“i’m not really a runaway but whatever, let me take my clothes and things before i—“ “no wait wait—“ “i understand that my parents sent me but look, i’m having fun here i enjoy my time and—“
“y/n stop” he raised his tone a bit and put his hands on your shoulders to keep you in place, giving you a chance to take a look at his face.
both of you froze for a few seconds.
gosh he’s so pretty.
so the rumors about her beauty were so true.
you realized you were holding your breath for a long time now and finally pulled away.
he coughed, “i’m sorry, you kept panicking and i had to stop you”
“n-no it’s okay”
wait.
were you just stuttering?
you couldn’t help it, his voice is so soft, and his gaze just makes you lose your mind.
you usually hate looking at people’s visuals first time you see them but he’s so breathtaking.
“i just wanted to say i have no intention of taking you back to your parents, i’m a runaway too”
“i’m not a— you know what? you’re probably tired, let’s get you home” you took his hand and dragged him back to your house.
your house in the village is small, but enough to hold two people.
you have one bed, for two people. you’d have to share your bed with him or else one of you would have to sleep on the floor.
“this is my house, feel free to do whatever”
you don’t know why you trust this person so much, he could’ve lied to you about him being a prince, especially a hybe prince.
but you somehow found yourself putting a lot of trust in him.
“thank you y/n” he smiled at you.
you smiled softly at him back and poured him a glass of water, “rest for a bit, i have to work today so i’ll come back later, we’ll talk it out when i’ll be back”
you saw him setting his things away and giggling a bit when he noticed your bed, “are we going to share that bed?” he asked.
you chuckled, “go sleep for now, we’ll talk everything out”
you left your house and went to your workplace.
jake took his time to look around your house.
it’s a small house, not something that he’s used to, but he knows for sure that he feels so comfortable in this house.
anyone who called you astonishing was right. your beauty really is beyond compare.
he noticed a photo hanged on the wall besides your bed. you were in the middle, surrounded by a lot of people who held a big smile on their face.
the background looked like the village, could they be the villagers? why do you have a picture with the villagers instead of your family?
and why is your smile so heart stopping?
he shrugged off his thoughts and went to sleep after he wasn’t able to sleep the whole night.
the day passed by slowly, every minute felt like a year. you kept looking at the clock every five minutes and your coworkers noticed your weird behavior.
“y/n, you’re distracted today” the head of the village teased you.
you love the villagers, and they love you. they take care of you so well and make you feel at home. they know you too well to notice how you feel, and as of now, they know that you’re more than distracted.
“i just have some on my mind” you chuckled, “don’t worry about that”
“ay, are you having some boy problems?” another one said with a smile.
“you can say that” you giggled as they all gasped.
“y/n has a new guy?”
“no! i was counting on you and my son!”
you laughed at their cute comments and shook your head.
just a few more hours and you’ll be able to see him again.
you entered your house, expecting to see a sleeping jake on the bed, but he was actually searching for something to eat.
“uhm” you coughed and he jumped, “oh! hi”
“hey” you smiled and put your things away, “we got a lot to talk about, are you hungry? let me make some food”
he nodded shyly and you chuckled. he’s so cute.
“so,” you settled your food on the table and stared at him, “how and when did you run away?”
“straight to the point i see”
“you gotta be straightforward sometimes” you shrugged.
“i ran away yesterday night, i felt too suffocated in the palace and i had to take a break, i just sneaked out, like you did” he sighed, “we were supposed to have a date you know, on the day you ran away”
“huh?”
“yeah, then your mom came to our kingdom and announced you as missing,” he took a bite from the food, “you were some kind of my role model of running away”
“what do you mean?”
“i started thinking about the running away situation because of you, i’m so glad i finally met you”
he raised his head and shared an eye contact with you.
you stopped for a second to take another look on his face. how will you be able to stand him now?
“yeah,” you nodded, “i’m happy i finally met you too”
“it’s my turn now,” he smiled, “why did you run away?”
“same as you, royal life can be suffocating and annoying” you shrugged, “numerous of dates with disgusting princes, i hated that”
he nodded, understanding the way you feel. “i’m sorry to hear that” he put his hand on your shoulder and showed you a little and comforting smile.
you leaned in and hugged him, “thank you”
he was a bit taken aback, but hugged you back within five seconds.
you needed to feel some kind of affection so you hugged him, ignoring the fact that you met him less than 24 hours ago.
“you have to teach me the way of living here, my plan is to stay here for a long time, you know” he said, his chin on your shoulder and his hands holding you tightly, “is there another free house around? i can get out and search if you—“
you pulled away from the hug and shook your head, “we’d have to live together and sleep on the same bed, i believe we’d get used to it”
both of you giggled and continued eating.
you spent the rest of the night talking and updating each other.
you told him everything he needs to know about the life in this village, and told him you’ll take him to your workplace tomorrow, so you can work together.
he updated you about whatever happened after you ran away, and without even noticing it, it was already past midnight.
“we should go sleep,” you suddenly said, “we have a lot to do later today”
he nodded and got up from his seat, “you’d also have to teach me how to cook” you giggled and nodded.
the morning came and it was already time for you to go to work.
“y/n! you brought a man today!” one of your coworkers who, noticed jake that was standing next to you cheered.
“yeah, meet jake, he’s my—“ “boyfriend!” all of the villagers who were in the store cheered.
“no i—“ “y/nie we don’t need to hide it anymore” jake cut you off and held your hand.
your eyes widened and you froze, “huh?”
“oh y/n! i’m so happy for you!” the elders said and hugged you.
“i brought jake today because i thought he could join our work here, please accept him to this village” you asked the head of the village.
“of course! our princess’ village finally has a prince now!” jake’s soft eyes glanced at you as you smiled.
“thank you”
the day passed as fast as the light, you taught jake everything he needs to know and got hundreds of compliments about your new relationship.
“my boyfriend? really?” you asked as soon as you arrived back home together.
“what was i supposed to say?”
“cousin? childhood friend? family’s friend? i can list more”
“fine fine i’m sorry, i thought it’d be more easy to play in a relationship” he giggled and you sighed.
“i’ll make some food now you should go shower” you smiled and he nodded.
“please teach me how to make some food” he begged while you put your plates on the table.
“i learnt everything from the villagers” you giggled.
“do you have any plans of coming back to your palace?” he suddenly asked.
you were a bit taken aback, “i don’t know” you shook your head, “this village became my house, i love everyone here, they’re like my family and home i’ve never had”
jake nodded and listened carefully.
“i love my parents, but they were making me so anxious around them and here i suddenly forgot how does it feel to be anxious around someone. i must say i really do miss my royal life, who knows? i might come back in a few weeks”
jake moved closer to you and cupped your cheeks, “take your time, i’m staying here with you until you decide to go back”
it felt like time stopped. when he cupped your cheeks and looked at you with his soft eyes, you suddenly felt anxious, but not in any bad way.
butterflies went crazy in your stomach and your cheeks turned slight red, you could melt from his touch.
you were too focused on feeling anxious that you didn’t even notice how red jake’s face turned. he didn’t even realize what he was doing until half a minute after. he was awfully close to you and you somehow managed to make him go crazy inside his mind.
both of you pulled back and cleared your throat.
“we should—“ “yeah, let’s go sleep”
ever since that dinner, months passed by.
you and jake became super close to each other, you were so into the fake relationship that you got used to calling jake your boyfriend.
you and jake cuddled up in your bed, awfully close to each other and playing with each other’s fingers.
it became a usual thing for you two, every night you’d get ready to go to bed together and cuddle until you fall asleep in each other’s hands.
“y/n” jake suddenly called, “hm?” you hummed in response.
“how many dates have you been forced to go to?”
you giggled, “what kind of question is that?”
“did you fall in love with someone you went on a date with?” he asked.
“huh—“
“did you ever date someone?” he sounded serious, and asking those questions didn’t help either.
“no, i haven’t” you replied.
but i fell in love with you, you wanted to add.
you felt bad, you were slowly falling in love with jake. it was supposed to be a fake relationship and nothing more than that.
“good morning” jake got up and noticed you were cooking something for breakfast. he back-hugged you and kissed your cheek, “good morning” you replied.
“i thought about going on a walk today around the village! i also promised the head of the village to help him with some things” jake updated you about his plans for the day.
damn, it really feels like you’re in a relationship with him. how can you not fall in love with someone as sweet as him?
you nodded and sent him off.
you must do something about your stupid heart that fell in love with that perfect human being.
jake took the day off, so you were working alone today.
his absence was really present in work today, not only you missed him in work.
“hey y/n! where’s your boyfriend?” one of the customers asked and you chuckled, “he has a name you know”
“but he took the day off, he’s a bit unwell today”
on the other hand, jake was busy with the head of the village, going around with him and helping him with whatever.
“are you sure about that?” jake asked the head of the village.
“i’m more than sure! you can do it jake!” he pat his shoulder and jake grinned.
“you’ll see the results tomorrow,” he smiled, “don’t tell anyone until you do!”
jake ran back home and got ready to cook some dinner for you.
“jake! i’m home!” you called and he showed up, hugging you tightly and planting a kiss on your cheek.
“i missed you” he pout.
you’re still not used to feeling that much of affection, especially from him.
what’s wrong with your heart? why can’t it stop beating so fast around him?
you giggled and kissed his cheek back, “i’ve been away for only a few hours”
“that still doesn’t change the fact that i missed you, plus a few hours is like an eternity for me”
he guided you to the table that was full with food you guessed he made.
“you made all of that for me?” you asked and he nodded, “thank you!” you hugged him and he returned the hug.
“i have another surprise for you,” he pulled away from the hug and you looked at him confused.
he went down on one knee and took out a box while holding your hand with his free hand.
“y/n,” he called out, “it’s been a while since we’ve first met, and at first i thought you were some snobbish who threw everything away just like that. but soon you became my inspiration to run away from my boring and annoying life, and i think it was the best decision i’ve ever made.” he giggled,
“when i saw you i was shocked, mostly by your impossible-to-beat beauty, but also by your kindness. you took care of me as soon as you saw me, and taught me everything i need to know here, you made me forget about the fact that we’re in fact, royals”
“i felt alive around you, with each day that comes by i fall more and more deep in love with you and i can’t help but want to spend the rest of my life with you” he looked generous, as he really meant every word that just came out of his mouth.
“so l/n y/n” he cleared his throat and opened the box to show a beautiful yet small and shining ring, “will you make me the happiest person alive and marry me?”
“yes! a million times yes!” you helped him get up and hugged him tightly as the tears finally fell down from your eyes.
he pulled away a bit to look at you and wiped your tears, “i love you” he suddenly said and his lips crushed into yours.
you kissed his soft lips and put your hands around his neck to get closer to him.
as you pulled away due lack of air, you played with his hair and stared at his beautiful eyes, “i love you too jake”
“thank you! for making me feel like a part of your family, for accepting me no matter what and for always caring about me,” you cried out, “i’ll always be thankful for each and one of you”
you and jake decided to leave the village and return to your kingdoms. you have to get marry and get your own kingdom of course.
but that also meant that you need to leave the villagers, who became your second home in no time.
“we’re going to miss you too,” one of them said, “don’t come back unless you’re pregnant!”
all of you laughed and you kept hugging each of them.
all the villagers got so excited about you and jake, and even prepared their own presents for your marriage.
“they’ll definitely be invited to our wedding” you told jake and he instantly agreed.
finally, you arrived to your kingdom. you took some deep breaths and jake stood next to you, holding your hand and playing with the ring he put on your finger a few days ago.
“you’ll be fine, they missed you a lot” he reassured you and you smiled, “thank you”
both of you entered the palace and saw the queen and the king sitting in front of the door, as if they have been waiting for you to enter.
“y/n” your mother whispered, her eyes widened and her hands started to shake. “y/n!” your father shout and ran up to you to cage you in his arms.
the queen followed right after her husband and the three of you hugged until you felt like you couldn’t breath anymore.
“y/n our daughter! i missed you so much” your mother cupped your cheeks and looked at your glossy eyes who were filled with tears.
“i missed you too mom,” you dad coughed, “and i missed you too dad”
your mom then noticed jake who was standing next to you.
“jake! how did you—“
“i ask your permission to marry your daughter” jake bowed in front of your parents.
“i love her, more than anything else in this world, and i’m willing to do everything to protect her and keep her safe” he added.
your parents looked at you confused and you showed them your ring on your finger.
“yes, of course!” they cheered, “and you young lady, we have a lot to talk about” your parents pointed at you, “after the marriage of course!”
jake picked you up and spun you around, “we can finally rule our own kingdom and visit our favorite village” he whispered.
you nodded as he leaned his forehead against yours, “thank you, jake” you pecked his lips, “i love you”
he then put his hands around your waist and kissed you deeper and desperately, “i love you too, more than you could ever imagine”
“you still have your parents you need to inform about the marriage, you know that right?” your mother, who was a witness to everything that just happened, said.
you and jake nodded awkwardly and updated your parents that you’ll be back in a few together with jake.
a week later, the wedding was held in hybe’s ballroom.
“i think your mother hates to wait” you told jake as soon as you were informed about your wedding date and he giggled, “it’s not like i could wait any longer to finally marry you”
at the celebration, jungwon and sunghoon came up to you and jake.
“see? i told you i’ll marry before you!” jake ruffled the younger’s hair and giggled. “thank you for bringing jake back” sunghoon smiled at you and you giggled.
“he’s actually the one who brought me back”
“yeah it’s really hard to believe that” jungwon grinned and jake threatened to hit him.
“we’re really happy for the both of you” they said and the both of you thanked them.
“hey jake?” you called him and he turned to his side to share an eye contact with you, “yes, my dear wife?”
him calling you his wife made your whole body flutter.
“i’m more than happy to be able to spend the rest of my life with you” you held his hand and he smiled.
“and i’m more than lucky to have you by my side for the rest of my life y/n”
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mutuals appreciation messages 🤍
ack i missed these kind of moot games ㅠㅠ but here's my appreciation to each of my fav mooties 💕
@dioll, i love you sm nae. sometimes i feel like you're my older sister, i really appreciate your support even through the tough times. your msgs truly make me smile each day. remember we're in this together 💕
@hoonion, jenni!!! my loml, i love u to the moon and back. i love dming you everyday. you make me smile and bring up my mood. i'm so glad we met this year and became closer. i really hope we get even closer (jenni + hoon is real!!)
@jwsdoll, hai sav!! so glad we met this year. our silly little msgs make me laugh everyday. my yunjin to my chaewon. love u sm
@reverieki, my hye bae. i miss u sm, idk where i would be w/o u. riki to my hee, haerin to my dani. you'll always be riki's no.1 girl!!
@luvlyhee, xuan!!!! i'm so happy we met this year, you truly are an amazing writer. i love u and ur works so much. i hope by the end of the year, we're closer than ever can be 🤞
@jakesangel, jake's real gf aka princess. my half older sister to me, i love u sm!! you're always going to be joy to my irene, ning to my giselle, and wonyo to my chae!! stay strong!! love u >o<
@junislqve, juni bby, ilysm. your asks are what make me look forward for my day. belle to my haneul 4 life!!!! (also did i mention how much winter from aespa vibes i get from u??)
@iichaeyj chae!!!! i know we barely interact 😓 but i really hope i get closer with you. you really seem like a sweet person and i love ur works so much. rina to my ning!!
@antoncyng my nickname twin :3 luv u sm nini!! one of my early moots too. keep writing, supporting you through everything!!
@en-gelic lia!! i'm so grateful i became moots with you. you truly are the sweetest person i ever met. i'll always love and support your writings no matter what. sending love and kisses 💕
@leaderwon the fact we just started off by meeting through disc dms 😭 i really hope we get closer luna!! (jungwon's real gf is right here???)
@onlyjjong have i ever said how much i love u lili???? bc i really love u sm!! ur sweet msgs always makes me smile. i'll support your works, and i hope you stay happy. you're like my real younger sister me. leeseo to my yujin, kyujin to my lily
@hyeinism haiii via!!! i really hope we interact more often bc i would love to get closer with you. ily !!!
@lcvclywon YUYA!! i missed u sm. i miss our inbox msgs we had together ㅠㅠ, hoping that returns. we'll always be chaewon and eunchae (chaechaez)!!
@okwons vivi, you're so sweet. your msgs are the sweetest thing ever. love ur writings btw >o<
@jlheon pengie bae!! literally yuri to my chae. hoping you text me more often on insta 😓 i really enjoy your company and i hope we get closer soon
@sunrenity zehra, did i tell you how much i love u + ur themes + ur works???? pls stop by dms or inbox more often, i would die to get closer w u ㅠㅠ
@star-sim my 08 liner twin!!! the fact at first i barely had any 08 liner mooties and you were one of the first ppl i met that was the same age as me 😓 thank u sm for being the sweetest moot ever, love uuu!!
@neos127 ky!!! yeri to my irene >o<, i really hoping we get closer this year!! you seem like a very sweet person so hoping we interact more often !!
@ashtxrie one of my earliest moots is you, ash!! i'm super happy we became moots, i love ur works sm. keep it up, sending kisses + love to u !!
@bywons sru, i know you're on hiatus but thank u for everything. you were my first ever moot on blr, and im so happy that we basically grew up together here 🙏 always support ur works, love uu!!
@okwonyo jiah!! wonyoung to my hyewon ㅠㅠ, i first joined enhablr as a reader and admired your works a lot. here i am now. u rlly inspire me, thank u jiah sm >o< luv u !!
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Staying on my Couch
When you ask if I know anybody who needs a roommate, I offer to let you crash at my place for a few days. You tell me you don't need help moving, showing up at my door with two bags and whatever's in your pockets. I offer to take the couch, but you already feel bad about the situation. The first week consists of you trying to stay out of my way. It breaks my heart. I assume you're just getting comfortable and try to leave you be.
Your mood doesn't improve. The job hunt isn't going well, and you're hoping I don't ask for help with the bills. Finally I catch you, making you sit up so I can join you on the couch. You swear up and down that it's not me; I've been nothing but kind to you. But I feel like I could do better. I tell you to take a short break from applying to recharge.
The next few days I try more to make you feel at home. Insisting you eat with me rather than reheating my cooking, learning more about your life before you got here, and watching shows together on the couch. You aren't happy, but you're starting to be happier. Seeing those rare half-hearted smiles, noticing you tense up less when I'm around. It makes me happier than I thought possible. When you ask to see my bedroom I have to contain my excitement. I had been keeping it clean for days now, much longer than I did in the past. I sheepishly watch as your eyes dart around the room. You leave after a minute or two, content to not comment on any of my clothes or the posters on the wall.
Your phone not working catches you off-guard. You guess mom finally decided to stop paying for you. I don't want to pry, instead offering to add you onto my phone plan. You tell me you're very grateful, even if your contacts didn't get saved somehow. I never tell you I swapped the SIM card while you were asleep. Betraying the trust you have in me hurts. But I was so happy to see how soundly you slept now.
The nicer I am to you, the more comfortable you get around me. And the bolder I get. Your wallet's been empty for days now. The money went back to you, of course. Until one of those jobs calls you back, it's not like you need your ID for anything. I find some nice looking clothes I came across on clearance. They fit surprisingly well, even if some of them aren't your style. Once, we both fell asleep on the couch. I tried to apologize, but you laughed it off. It was the first time I heard that laugh.
On the day you ask again to see my bedroom, you hear me talking to somebody at the door. There's something familiar about the other woman's voice. I'm very sorry ma'am, but I don't know who you're talking about. She's gone by the time you show up behind me to ask. It was a missing persons case. Things like that scare me. I gently grab your hand. This is it. This is your chance to help me worry less. Your opportunity to make me happy, just like I made you happy.
#...i dont know what to tag this as.#cnc kidnapping#kidnap fantasy#Im gonna use kidnapping tags even if it doesnt exactly fit the bill. also this is vile I should apologize#ideas#this was supposed to turn into petplay. It still can! If this gets a part 2#but I also wrote it on a whim#long post
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Song of the day☾
Today, I was going to pick lonely people - America. HOWEVER, I've been picking too many sad songs. So, the song for today is featuring banjo, mostly just because i want a banjo soooooo bad. I'm wondering if that should be my birthday gift for myself. I want one so bad you don't even understand how bad. I will treat that thing like my baby if I get one.
I've also been getting back into history which makes me happy. History has always been one of the things I've obsessed over growing up. Right now I'm taking a women's U.S. history class, so you can imagine how happy I am to do the homework for that. It is so captivating! and obviously so relevant to my life, as a woman that is living in the U.S. lol. I've been learning so much about the women that came before me, in and out of class. It makes me feel so much more connected to my femininity and what exactly that means to me. I don't think I'm very vocal about being bi but it's definitely a big part of my identity. I wish I felt more freedom to explore that, but I think a part of that being undeveloped is my warped view of what being sapphic looks like. I was watching a video essay about Jane Addams, her queerness, and long term relationship with Mary Rozet Smith. People debated the validity of their love because it was speculated that they weren't sexually active with each other. This! is what I'm saying, wlw relationships are so sexualized(news to no one). Which I think bleeds into my own perception of the validity of my sexuality. Honestly even hetero relationships have such weird ideas about sexual activity. I'll cut myself off but I have A LOT to say about this.
Kinda related because woman, my mood swings have been off the charts, thank you womanhood.👎 Womanhood + the stress of having a birthday. Cant wait for my birthday to just happen so I can focus of other things that stress me out.
Today feels like it didn't happen, time flies when youre doing nothing! Woke up, balled out on a sims house I'm making with my sister, went to work, came home, did some homework, now I'm here. The power was out all day today because of maintenance being done on the lines outside the house.
I know I started by saying I didn't want to focus on the sad but the song's lyrics are another reason why it's song of the day. Not that the lyrics are sad, not even to say that today was necessarily negative, just a lot of introspection..
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Hey Tetra, so how is the beta? What do you think of the game so far?
Sorry anon, I know I've been silent here, every time I think I want to make a post I never have enough time to make it as detailed as I used to, but never mind I'm going to give my quick opinion and then write something more in depth later.
So, first of all, I agree with everyone that the way the AP system is at the moment is too expensive. We pay 2AP for line of dialogue and many APs for choices. We get more free APs than in the past with the daily login, so that's a plus, but the choices are way too costly, especially the very basic ones (here called neutral choices), I shouldn't have to spend 40 APs to say I want a cup of tea! All that being said, I'm not too worried about it because I know that Chino has already reported this issue to management, and while these decisions are not up to her I know she sees the player's perspective and will do everything she can to make our voices heard.
Now, AP system aside, there are some things I really love!
Firstly, the website looks amazing, in the end it was worth the wait. It works super smoothly, and it's very pretty to look at.
And the closet/shop part is really easy to navigate, it's pretty much like the Sims so I'm used to it.
Also, the millennial in me who can't afford to buy her own home is really into the room decoration feature
I also enjoy the minigames. One is just like the explorations in Eldarya, but with no pet to feed, so it's a win to me. The other is outfit contests, we receive a theme and we can dress up our Candy and enrol in it. I am TERRIBLE at it, but even if you don't make it top3 you still win some APs and diamonds just for participating. You can also win stuff just by voting in the contest.
Now, to the story. The first episode was mostly an introduction so nothing much really happens, we just meet 4 of the LIs. It was cute, the mechanic is a bit tricky because we can't see immediately if the LoM increases or not, we find out at the end of the episode, but it's not nearly as bad as in ML, so I can deal with it. It's also possible to understand if the LI liked the interaction from their reactions. I think I'm starting to understand their personalities so I hope I'll get the hang of it when the game releases. I'm going to make a separate post about my impressions on the LIs, but I'm quite happy so far.
Something else I want to mention before ending this is a final pro and cons.
Cons, I don't like the "fairy". It's MC's godfather which is a cool character, apparently he is Agatha's cousin, that's nice. But he only brings gifts to Taki which I really don't care about, my duck will remain naked as nature intended. Or, anyway, I won't spend APs on it. I'm gonna try hard to avoid this guy, also because we have a choice to make with him and we can't skip it once we run into him.
The pro is instead the VIP system. From what I've seen, it looks very convenient. We get extra APs and diamonds every day, especially the diamonds it's a really good amount, which we can then exchange for more APs or cumulate to buy extra scenes (which are longer scenes with the LI). We also get some extra perks like an outfit, skip button for the replays, and extra jokers, which are little useful features that can be used in game. We don't know yet how much the VIP subscription costs, but if they stuck to the same prices as other game companies, it shouldn't be more than 10-15$.
And you anon, did you play the beta? Let me guys know what you think. People seem to be happy about most things except the AP system.
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I need to say something. The saltiness I have seen against Seyka. The negativity to Aloy and Seyka's relationship even. It's hurtful and sad. I am so sad to see this from such an amazing community that I love very much. A lot of us LOVE Seyka. Attacking her character, claiming she is written badly etc. Please stop. All that is a salty opinion that some people may agree with but doesn't mean it's true for the rest of us. And it's hurtful to see everyone attacking each other over it. You are allowed to be critical of the story. But attacking each other, lashing out, being mean is wrong. I love all the characters in Horizon. All of them! And it's fine if you don't. But be polite and respectful.
Aloy is confirmed bi/lesbian. Can't we all be happy for her at least? Your fantasy still continues on with whomever character you ship her with. It doesn't need to be canon. That's not what this story is about. It's not about your fantasy. It's about Aloy's growth and her learning about love. It was beautifully and respectfully told too. So relatable as a lesbian for me. Everything. And in my opinion, It wasn't rushed at all. It felt natural. Realistic. 🌹💞
Then you got the saltiest ones saying. "But Aloy has built up all these other characters who mean something to her and putting Seyka with her as her lover is like tossing the rest of the characters under the bus." 😒 Really? So That's like me saying. I got all these people who are into me sexually and friends in my life who I made deep connections with. That means I should and must date them?? 😬 Red flag alert! No!
Sorry kids but that's not how it works. Seyka just happens to be what Aloy wants and opens her heart at the right time. It's realistic, natural and her own decision. I feel like Tilda and Lis' tragic love story helped to make Aloy realize something deeper in herself. It's Guerrilla's story and they are telling it beautifully. Not some cheap dating sim. Look, I ship Tilda with Aloy. I get it. But I am not upset that Aloy never got with her. Specially since it was canon that Tilda was totally obsessively in love with Aloy and Lis. Then she went and died. (Left up to speculation of course. 😌) Spite whoever Aloy is with romantically, I just want Tilda to be in the 3rd game.
It's fiction and supposed to be fun. But people are legit shitting on Seyka and each other! I find Seyka is an amazingly well written character. People are more upset that Aloy didn't get forced into being with their favorite character. I understand we love our favorite characters but the negativity saltiness around it is toxic. Aloy can be with whoever she wants and Seyka is her girl she chose. Seyka also represents girls out there who look like her for once. Another plus. And if you chose for her not to be with Seyka...it doesn't change her sexuality or who Aloy is and what she likes. Sorry if that upsets you but not sorry. She's B/L and we should really be happy about this. Sometimes it's our own community that can stop more industries from making games for us. Since it's always easier to go the straight route. Then it's typical and the drama stays out of it. Is that what you want?
I am so happy for Aloy and her story. I am proud of Guerrilla for telling the story they want. (Spite all the backlash now from all sides.) And not listening to any particular group who think they deserve the favoritism. Instead they gave us something new and fresh. A new character who vibes with Aloy and gives her confidence who she feels equal to but also only knows her as the girl who fell to earth. Not the savior. Not the outcast and I prefer that. I just see it as the more the merrier. Seyka is just another beautiful character we can ship Aloy with in fanart/fics. But some people rather be angry about it all and cause drama, even use it to hate on other shippers. Like fine, do that if it makes you feel better. But it looks salty and really raised a red flag for me.
Also as a middle aged elder gay who works in the gaming industry and sees so much bigotry, this behavior doesn't help and looks bad on the lgbtq+. I've seen some amazing devs already be talked badly about because of their decision. We really need to be more supportive of each other and characters that represent us and companies who risk a lot to tell stories made for smaller minority groups. The game industry is still far from being a healthy environment for women, PoC and LGBTQ+. Let's not make it worse. ❤👏 Thank you.
#aloy x seyka#seyka#hfw aloy#horizon forbidden west#horizon forbidden west spoilers#burning shores#tilda#horizon burning shores#tilda van der meer#horizon burning shores spoilers
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This Week In BL - Korea is coming after your office romance crown, Japan
March 2023 Wk 3
Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.
Ongoing Series - Thai
Bed Friend (Sat YT, GaGa & iQIYI uncut) ep 6 of 10 - (sorry, yes I knew they extended it to 10, and I don’t think it’s a good sign) I thought the kink moment was kinda cute, and it illustrates the best thing about f-buddy relationships, license to play and explore. Also language play! (You know phi/nong is also for pets, right?) Poor Uea never gets to keep a grain of happiness very long - so now he’s pushing it away and self isolating. Sigh, I do hope there is happiness for a few eps at the end of all this trauma.
Future (Thai Sun YouTube & Gaga) ep 1 of 5 - Based on a y-novel by Faddest (En of Love) about an engineering student and a dentist. Expect this one to stay soft, it’s from the 21 Day Theory people. I LOVE it. Bad sound and wooden acting but this is a classic old school Thai pulp. Older shy (but delightfully manipulative) sweetie dentist Ana with crush on younger sappy sunshine jock engineering student, Fuse. Very much a puppy/cat pairing. I admit, knowing all the various characters’ back stories means everything makes more sense. The friends’ conversations make me laugh a lot, but this is a very talkie show, with not awesome subs, so certainly not for everyone. I’ve already rewatched the first ep 3x.
Pastsenger (Thai Weds Gaga) 3 of 12 eps - I enjoy that its the tsundere uke developing feelings first. Unusual approach. I also like that fake dating is being deployed to protect the girl from a stalker. It’s silly but I’m starting to like this show more.
A Boss and a Babe (Fri YouTube) ep 4 of 12 - Honestly, the boss character isn’t really that tsundere. He’s basically a big old softy. Also baby boy very jelly. I would be too. Ex is v hot. But we keep being told things about these 2 characters but not shown said things on screen. Like the writers think they are telling one story but what we are watching is completely different. It’s... odd.
Tin Tam Jai (Tues Gaga & iQIYI) ep 4 of 12 - Aw, P’Park has an emotional support uke. OMG they brought the flirty faen fatal crumb back! YES. I love him.
The Promise (Thai Weds YT) ep 4 of 10 - Good advice about secrets. It better come out and it better be a good reason... like witness protection. I am starting to get annoyed and feel manipulated the more they drag it out. But from the preview it seems like next week brings the PAIN. I have never been more ready.
Chains of Heart (Sat iQIYI) ep 6 of 10 - Will I ever understand this show? I hate that such good acting and chemistry is squandered on such an incomprehensible script. Is the “Korean doctor thread” a set up for Lue actually being Din (dead lover) with a new face? Because I suspected that at the beginning but if that’s the big twist in this narrative it’s a super clumsy twist. I hope they don’t. I’d rather it’s that Din turned himself into Ken - creepy, but less predictable.
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Our Dating Sim (Korea Thurs Viki) eps 5-6 of 8 - Miracles of miracles: The kissing is even good in this one! Aw, baby wants to be courted. The redial phone call flirt had me flappy-handing and cackling. How are they THIS cute? It hurts my heart, two nerds in love. Also being linguistically outed at work is my new favorite trope ever. I rewatched these 2 eps an embarrassing number of times. (Warning, it looks like we got us a classic 1yr Kdrama separation coming down the line. PLEASE subvert this trope ODS. PLEASE.)
All the Liquors (Korea Thurs Gaga & Viki) eps 7-8 fin - I guess I just don’t get over-dramatic angst about silly things. The premise of this show seems to be overreaction to some stuff, under-reaction (more typical KBL) to everything else. So not allergic but an alcoholic grandma who drank herself to death? Cute confession and kiss. They are so shy and sweet with each other. For a Korean drama this had a great ending which elevated it a lot over the many other KBLs of this type (Tasty, Sweet, Ocean, etc..)
Final thoughts: A pretty classic foodie set KBL that managed to distinguish itself from others in this category by having a particularly satisfying final episode centered around found family. Sunshine sweetie soju rep gets involved with a shy introverted chef who doesn’t drink. Has a somewhat uneven plot, but If you are looking for a restaurant BL with Korea’s signature softness, then this is a great option. FYI I may identify with our baby party boy hedonist more than any other BL lead ever presented. 8/10
I present actual footage of P’ABL whispering in your shell-like about what you should watch next...
Unintentional Love Story (Korea Thurs iQIYI) 3-4 of 10 - (here’s how I am getting it) ALL THE TROPES these 2 eps. Cohabitation! Pretty house! Flirting. Ooo evil agent ex? White towel sponge bath doesn’t get deployed by Korea very often. Other thoughts: Why does the ceramicist’s car look like a hearse? How is Gongchan SO CUTE? Boyfriends-to-be eating together is great. So many self-worth issues in this one no wonder @heretherebedork loves it. (This is an unexpectedly long series, too. 10 eps and each one is over 30 min. That’s crazy for a KBL = Light on Me territory.)
A Shoulder to Cry On (Korea Tues Viki & Gaga) eps 3-4 of 7 - this sort of emotional and mental manipulation (from narrative and characters) meets bully romance isn’t my thing. (And should be left up to Japan if it must exist at all IMHO.) Ultra cringe, humiliation, and emotional torture for everyone! (What is this, fan fic?) Result: therapy is needed for everyone, including me, who continues to have trust issues with this show.
Jack o’Frost (Japan Fri GaGa) ep 6 fin - delayed until next week
It’s Airing But ...
Love Syndrome (Thai Sat WeTV) stopped at ep 2 of 12 - I’m just not into any aspect of it (except Lee Long Shi and I can watch him in Tin Tem Jai) - saving to binge if the end is solid.
Blue Sky Complex (Japan ???) 5 eps for VR - adaptation of Kei Ichikawa's manga started Feb 27 on 360 Channel (SHOCHIKUch) a VR distribution service. Will inter-fans ever get to see this, and if it’s filmed for VR will it adapt without being overly dark and fuzzy? I have questions. But as usual, you do you Japan and we will wait (im)patiently to see if you remember the rest of the world exists. This is my preferred kind of live action yaoi, so fingers crossed.
Boyband (Thai) ep 2 of 10 - Stopped airing on YouTube, and only available in Thailand & Japan. Not sure if they’re working a distribution deal or just fucking with us.
Cafe In Love (Thai ???) 10 eps on Ch3+ - Thai pulp, about trying to save a coffee shop. FairyGodBLer came through for me, but I’m collecting to binge just in case. It’s my new policy with the grey stuff.
Destiny Seeker (Tues WeTV Thailand) 10 eps - it’s not on any WeTV I can get ahold of. Bad Buddy the pulp rebirth meets Japanese handsome host club action. Same as above.
Make a Wish (Thai Weds ?) from WaGa Creative staring Fluke Natouch (OhmFluke UWMA etc...) & Judo (The Miracle Of Teddy Bear) in a medical-fantasy. It seems to be a light-hearted romance with a comedic flair. About a doctor who sees ghosts and a deity who resides in a Bodhi tree that earns merits whenever he fulfills a wish based on a y-novel by Sammon (Manner of Death, Triage). Too hard to find.
In other news
I finished watching Why You... Y Me (hold over from last year). It’s basically Puppy Honey + a band + excessive fujoshi, so NOT my jam, but the main BL side is nicely handled love triangle, if that’s your thing. There is a tiny gem of a story (buried in amongst the rest of this nonsense) about friendship, support, love, and owning your identity. But BL is very much the secondary plot here and the main plot is AWFUL so I can’t give it more than 5/10. Still it’s all on YT if you wanna give it a try.
I also finished The End Of The World, With You AKA Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu. (Speaking of Japan psychologically bullying us.) Conclusion? It’s not BL (no BL tropes used, a sub-genre is defined by its tropes, BL is a sub-genre of gay romance). It’s a quirky road trip found family gay drama/romance. It’s fine if you like this kinda artsy tortured character thing. I don’t. But it’s well done high heat from Japan so... 6/10 I guess?
Next Week Looks Like This:
The Eighth Sense starts weds Viki, I’m thinking this is KBL doing JBL style again, so no promises on an HEA for this one. It’s giving me. His (the series) feels. But it could be more in the Blueming vein. Remains to be seen.
Full list of upcoming in March 2023 is here.
2023 forthcoming BL master post. (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)
This Week’s Adventure in Captions
Actually, Fuse said meeha which is usually translated as wifey (there are other slang words for bottom). Fuse is trying to establish a sexual and romantic dynamic where he plays “the male role” and he is doing this with Ana for several reasons: 1. Ana made the first move. 2 Ana is older.
This is definitely one of those were the captions are OK but old-fashioned, it helps to know the common used terms and parlance. They are ALSO never saying boyfriend, they are always saying faen (gender neutral).
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT
I really liked this phrasing (Boss & Babe).
Double date!
The cuteness, it burns us. How is Gongchan a 2nd gen idol, nearly 30, and still the ultimate macknae? Inquiring minds would like his immortality pill, please and thank you. (Unintentional Love Story)
Another gay cactus baby! (Why did tumblr lose its mind over this? Here’s the BL meme primer)
I love it when a show calls out it’s own tropes.
I also love it when a show accurately reviews itself.
All from Our Dating Sim.
(last week)
Current Kpop earworm? Okay so Ireah on Peak Time did a bitty cover of Bad Love by Hynn and now I’m obsessed with it. I like her original a lot but I really want him to drop a full cover of it someday.
#this week in BL#bl news#BL gossip#upcoming BL#best BL#new BL#BL reviews#Thai BL#korean bl#Taiwanese BL#Japanese BL#live action yaoi#Rakutan Viki#gagaoolala#GMMTV#Kpop earworm#Peak Time#Bad Love by Hynn#Bed Friend#Future the series#Pastsenger#A Boss and a Babe#Tin Tam Jai#The Promise the series#Chains of Heart#Our Dating Sim#Unintentional Love Story#A Shoulder to Cry On#bl series reciew#All the Liquors
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York Household: Chapter 9, Part 10
In this part Kelly may be stood down from school for the day but that doesn't mean Aaron won't find them something to do.
CW: Mentions of body dysmorphic disorder and dysphoria
The Yorks are Italian so if you see them using words that don't look like English it's Italian, or what google assures me is Italian. Caro/Cara: Dear Buongiorno: Good morning Piccolo: Little one Tesoro: Treasure Nonno: Grandfather Nonna: Grandmother Si: Yes Grazie: Thank you Per Favore: Please Buon Compleanno: Happy Birthday
Kelly had asked Joey to speak to their family about her identity and, once Joey assured her it was fine, she joined the family for dinner.
Calista: Cara, I heard you got in a few fights today
Kelly was so used to being called caro, while cara was used for her sisters, that it took her a moment to realise her ma was addressing her.
Kelly: Si ma
Calista: Can we say the second fight may have had something to do with you being a girl?
Kelly: *sighs* Si ma. The dung brain said only girls needed to know about periods and stuff so I got mad and stomped on her foot
Deanna: I think that’s a sensible response even if you were a boy
Aaron: Deanna! Violence is never the answer
Joey: You say that like you don’t want us to get arrested
Aaron gave Joey a look that could melt steel.
Joey: Sorry pa, bad joke
Calista: I'll call your school and talk to them about separating kids by gender, in this day and age it's stupid. How about the first fight cara
Kelly: What do you mean
Calista: You were having trouble in English. Do you want us to get some help
Kelly: *sighs* That jerk was saying I had dyslexia but he doesn’t know what goes on in my head
Aaron: Still, it’s better to look into help now so you won’t be hindered at university
Deanna: Pa, she’s only just started high school
Aaron: Never too early to start thinking of the future
Aaron: But if you don’t want to talk about it tonight we can fit it in tomorrow
Kelly: What do you mean fit it in
Aaron: You don’t think I’m going to waste a day you’re not in school do you?
Kelly: I was kind of hoping to crash on the couch and play some games
Aaron steps up and pulls Kelly into a hug despite her protests.
Aaron: Cara, your ma and I love you. Very much. But a shift like the one you’ve started won’t be a simple one. We want you to get all the help available. I'm taking a vacation day and first stop tomorrow is a doctor who specialises in adolescents
Kelly smiles and tries her best not to tear up in front of her siblings, she has a reputation as an evil sim to maintain.
Calista: Are you okay Kelly
Kelly: Si ma. I just… wasn’t sure how you’d all take… me
Calista: Oh cara, like your pa said, we love you. We’re your family. We’re always going to be on your side
Kelly: Even if I kill someone
Calista: *laughs* Please try not to kill anyone *whispers* although I have a feeling that your pa would absolutely be your lawyer
Aaron: *laughs* Well don’t just go encouraging her to be a killer
After a hug with Calista Kelly lets out a celebratory cheer.
Deanna does not wake up feeling well. She gets dressed but can’t be bothered putting her contacts in today, glasses it is. She grabs some leftover cake and goes past Kelly and Aaron, barely taking them in.
Aaron: What’s wrong cara
Deanna: I have a horrible headache and feel like poop
Kelly: You mean you feel as bad on the inside as you look on the outside
Deanna: Probably
Kelly: No retaliation? *sighs* Just admit you don’t want me to have fun today
Deanna: You should be at school gremlin but you got in fights. Excuse me if I’m unimpressed
Kelly and Aaron head off while Deanna contemplates a nap rather than homework. What use are good grades if you’re dead?
Kelly: Why am I seeing him
Aaron: Harvey said his son had a good time
Kelly: Pa no one has a good time at medical appointments
Aaron: *sighs* maybe not but he said it helped him, how’s that?
Kelly: Guess it’ll do. So long as he doesn’t try to un evil me
Aaron: Tell him about the trouble you’ve had in class
Kelly: Si pa
Aaron: And tell him your family support you being trans because he’ll want to know
Kelly: Si pa. Think you can stop telling me what to do now?
Dr H: Kelly York?
Kelly: Yeah that’s me, this is my pa Aaron
Dr H: Nice to meet you. I’m Doctor Xander Hanks, the psychiatrist here. Will you be joining us Aaron?
Aaron: Kelly wanted to do this by herself if that’s okay
Dr H: Perfectly fine but I’d like to bring you in at the end to discuss next steps if that’s okay with Kelly
Kelly shrugs and walks herself into the office, choosing the couch that most faces the door. Dr Hanks sits down opposite her.
Dr H: Let me tell you a bit about myself. Following medical school I-
Kelly: Don’t care about you
Dr H: We can skip the pleasantries if you prefer
Kelly: You talk weird
Dr H: Why don’t you tell me why you’re here today
Kelly: *shrugs and kicks foot* They kicked me out of school for a day
Dr H: They? Why did “they” do that?
Kelly: The principal got batpoop mad because I punched one kid and stomped on the foot of another, but they had it coming
Dr H: Do you often have trouble with your temper Kelly
Kelly: I’m a teen. You're a professional, don't you know we have trouble with everything
Dr H: Anything you’d care to share
Kelly: Well ma and pa wanted me to come because…
Here she pauses. As hard as it was to tell Joey who loves her, telling a stranger is a harder task.
Dr H: Why don’t you tell me about why you got in the fights
Kelly sighs and tells him about Roger, the kid who teased her about her struggles in English class.
Dr H: Why did that upset you so much
Kelly: I don’t know. I can usually take a joke, I’m the first to make a joke after my friend Fergus. I guess… I was a bit worried he might be right. I survived middle school but now the words are longer and smaller and they can jam together sometimes in my head. But I’m not crazy!
Dr H: I wouldn’t call someone crazy Kelly. It is possible you have an undiagnosed learning disorder. I can send you to my colleague after this visit for an assessment if you’d like
Kelly shrugs noncommittally and Dr Hanks continues.
Dr H: What about the stomped foot incident
Kelly: I was trying to talk to my best friend Anya about what she learned in health because they separate the class boy girl style. I was curious, I mean I’ve only heard a bit, and this other girl took offense at me learning because I was a boy so she complained loudly then I stomped on her foot. That just made her scream more
Dr H: Was she unaware you’re trans
Kelly: *defensively* How’d you know that
Dr H: Forgive me if I’ve overstepped. Your father used the pronoun her when he ushered you in-
Kelly: I know this outfit doesn’t exactly scream natural girl but…
Dr H: And you said you were a boy when the disagreement happened
Kelly: Oh…. Right, I did… Sorry. I’ve only just come out to my family it’s still... difficult
Dr H: You have nothing to apologise for. I find the term “natural girl” to be unhelpful when talking about gender. If someone is the gender they were assigned at birth, they are cisgender. If they are not the gender they were assigned at birth, they are transgender. Have you heard that language before
Kelly: Here and there. I mean my friend’s older sibling is… oh shoot he did tell me the term…. Non something…
Dr H: Nonbinary?
Kelly: That’s it! So technically he, I mean they, are trans?
Dr H: *nods* You’ve got it. There are many ways to be female, just as there are many ways to be male, or both, or none. Was this why your parents wanted you to see me?
Kelly: Sort of. I mean I know I’m a girl but *sighs* I don’t know what to do about it. Transitioning just seems so big
Dr H: Maybe talking it out can make it a bit smaller huh
The two discuss the situation a bit more and when Kelly feels ready Dr Hanks retrieves Aaron from reception.
Dr H: Your daughter certainly knows her own mind. You must be proud
Aaron: I am. She can be a handful but I am
Kelly: Being stubborn has benefits okay pa
Aaron: I know
Dr H: After this I’m going to send you to my colleague who will do a learning assessment on Kelly. She may benefit from additional academic support. We have discussed possible next steps for her identity as well
Aaron: What are they
Kelly: Basically the government is stupid and science hates me
Aaron: I’m sure that’s not true
Dr H: There are scientific debates about at what age we can start on hormones and other physical interventions. At the moment the youngest age for medical transition is 16
Kelly: But he says I don’t have to do that if I don’t want to, any changes I make will be up to me. I say who I am, I'm in charge
Aaron is glad to see Kelly smile at this.
Dr H: There are many non-medical changes that can be made while she thinks about it. Kelly has already switched pronouns, she may want to change her name or her wardrobe. I’m going to refer her for therapy-
Kelly: He says I might get this thing called body dysmorphic disorder. Or anxiety, or depression or whatever
Dr H: Body dysmorphia can overlap with gender dysphoria so I like to make sure my trans patients have adequate support. I’ve prescribed some antidepressants which I think will be helpful as support during the transition period but I’d like to order some blood tests to make sure we don’t need to do any medical interventions yet
Aaron: What can me and her ma do
Dr H: Keep supporting her. She has expressed some anxiety about her personality traits. I would urge you and the rest of her family to remember her gender identity is not responsible for her personality or vice versa despite being a big part of who she is
Aaron: We can do that
The two get up to leave and Aaron is surprised when Kelly not only thanks the doctor but gives him a hug as well. Maybe her evil trait will be easier to balance with age.
Results of today’s medical appointments. Kelly has dyslexia and body dysmorphic disorder. Sorry it was a bit long, I didn't want to cut her off mid session.
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#sims 4#the sims#the sims 4#simblr#ChangingPlumbobStorytime#R0901#KellyYork#JoeyYork#DeannaYork#CalistaYork#AaronYork
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My Top 23 Screenshots from 2023
(actually 24 because I already removed so many and could not bring myself to remove another)
I was tagged by @sasaofastora and boy was it hard to choose! But I eventually narrowed it down to 23.
Didn't include every month in the list because some months just had too many good pics. This whole thing has also made me realise that 2023 was truly the year of Emma and Niall, love that for them. Another thing I realised is that I guess it's either wide angle or detail shots for me that I love the most.
I'm also tagging @simadelics @stargazingsims @blueshistorysims @satureja13 @swiftviolets - if you've already been tagged, it be what it be.
February
Might have peaked with this one idk. (x)
These two are from the same post and idk why but I'm just obsessed with them. (x)
March
"Idiots in love who are too shy to admit it to each other" trope my beloved. (x)
April
Two pics from the same post because I just put extra effort into flashbacks and flashforwards for unknown reasons. (x)
May
"Badly timed first kiss" trope my beloved. And I just love the little details of Emma's hand pushing Niall away. (x)
June
I lowkey love this wip preview more than the actual cc post. Sometimes I look back at it like "wtf how did I slay this hard??" (x)
Hand details my beloved. (x)
They are just so babey what can I say. (x)
July
July had the 1930s beach babes series, so there's a lot of edits I'm proud of. But I think this one is my favourite, and in general Judy slayed these the most imo. (x)
August
It's giving Van Gogh, it's giving aesthetic, it's giving masterpiece tbh. (x)
This is when I tested the new zeussims collection and it's another pic I just like staring at. I've first made my disney princess sims a long time ago, and I update them at least once a year, so seeing them all together (plus Barbie) just makes me very happy. (x)
September
I can't tell you why I love this shot so much, I just do. (x)
October
You know what? Actually, this is where I peaked. (x)
Height differences my beloved. (x)
You thought we're done with October? It was only the event of the century! I have decided that evening rooftop weddings are my favourite now. (x)
November
Look, idk why I love that shot at the door either. I guess those pants just look great on Niall, sue me. (x)
It's just the vibes of this post in general. Very aesthetic. (x)
December
I'm really happy with the nursery in general, but the pic with Emma in it is my fave. (x)
There's more pictures coming this month that I really love, but I don't wanna give spoilers, so they will be under the cut for now. Will change that once they've been posted.
Context-free pics from upcoming posts that go from "I don't need context to understand" to "what am I even looking at":
#tag game#simblr#can you believe at the beginning of the year emma and niall weren't even dating yet#and now they will have their first child together#i scream
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Sonic (Bio/Character design ramble)
Sonic's bio/ramble is here !!! This is not a drill !!!
Kudos to my sister, who took up writing Sonic's bio and commentary. She majors in Sonic Psychology, it's only right for her to continue writing, expanding on, and doing the titular character justice (because I sure can't ripp </3).
Info under the cut, as usual x
Sonic is a 25 year old influencer. He's lived in Green Hill for the majority of his life but his job and adventurous lifestyle often leads him far from home. Sonic's reason for entering the show was purely childish: a challenge. So Sonic arrives with the intent of messing around and having fun.
Sonic is free-willed and easy-going. This makes him a fun guy to be around and that's why he thrives on the Island. Given the fact he likes to have freedom... he's never tied down and struggles with commitment when it comes to love. He never stays in one spot for too long, therefore he can never stick around one person for too long. Sonic also has no type. Unlike other characters in the series or people on Love Island, Sonic gravitates to whoever he feels is giving a good energy back to him or someone he can bounce off (although he is not above basing things off physical attraction in some situations). Saying that he didn't arrive with the intent of finding love on the Island, doesn't mean he isn't genuine.
Ultimately, Sonic makes it clear that he doesn't quite know what he wants...
External design choices !! (visual appearance - incl. formation of base sim, references taken, makeup choices, fashion style... etc.)
Sonic is one of the characters I'm still not happy with and never will be because of the way the game works and my unreasonable expectations for this man. Sonic has been reworked twice in an attempt to get him perfect. When taking inspiration from the game series, Sonic took heavy inspiration from modern Sonic (Mainly the 2010's Sonic opposed to the early 2000's models.)
Sonic is the most iconic character in the series and so I wanted to do him justice by blending features of his design with the idea of him looking relatively desirable. In the first design his features relied heavily on his defining 'Sonic' features such as his pointy nose, big eyes and blue hair. His nose (in my opinion) was exaggerated when looked at front on and this was purely because of his skin overlay. His skin overlay was custom content and was the same that we used for Amy except there was one issue, it didn't work for males as it changed the way his facial features looked. As it looked fine on Amy, I thought nothing of it for Sonic, until it finally grated on me enough to change it. This is where his second design was made and thought out.
In Sonic's redesign, I gave more thought into how he looked beside other similar characters such as Shadow and Silver. As Sonic was the first to be made in the game, I didn't have the other two boys to compare him to. Now that the other boys were there to refer to, I could make sure they looked slightly similar. I decided to make their noses and mouths appear similar while keeping key things like eyes, hair and face shape unique. Sonic's eyes were kept rounded and big much like his canon design and so I wanted the eye colour to be accurate too. Sonic's eye colour is a slightly darker shade of green than Amy's and that was carried over into Sonic's design. When it came to his skin tone we had to look very closely at his Frontiers model. In a picture we looked at, we could see a slight olive undertone rather than pink. After some debate about it, we incorporated the skin tone into his redesign.
I've come to terms that I'll never be able to get Sonic right in The Sims 3, but I do like Sonic's redesign better (not to mention how proud of his side profile I am. He looks so good from side on <33). He went from looking older than 25, untrustworthy and unattractive, to looking Younger than 25, frankly cute and closer to his 'fakers', Shadow and Silver.
[ Acknowledging both designs is crucial, as a ton of screenshots have Sonic's older design in them as opposed to his newer one. And we'd rather perish than retake screenies because we altered him. I like to think it's a good display of what the design process looks like :) - bee ]
Sonic's fashion is fashion. As an influencer, he would receive a lot of branded clothes from sponsors or for product review. (This headcanon was formed from the SOAP shoes he wears in SA2). While also he'd need to keep up with fashion trends to maintain a good image. On the island, Sonic wears casual things such as sneakers (occasionally his classic red but he switches it up a bit), t-shirts, bomber jackets, jeans, cargo pants or shorts, things tend to be baggy for comfortability. Sonic also has a gold ring that he wears on his left, middle finger. This idea was not only a reference to the games and how many rings he collects, but more specifically a game where he wears a ring, Sonic and the Secret Rings.
Internal design choices !! (personality, characteristics, psychology)
I am a strong believer that Sonic is more complex than most think. He's very good at masking anything negative he's going through with a smile. A good example of this is in Sonic Frontiers. I took a lot of inspiration from Frontiers because in my opinion it is the BEST Sonic characterisation. I also took inspiration from SA2, Sonic X and many other games or media to count (Sonic's a pretty consistent character when it comes to some aspects of his personality.) In this, Sonic is a good blend of childish and mature. He tends to show his childish nature when interacting with Knuckles and Shadow or when things take a negative turn, he tries to lighten the mood with a joke to change the topic. His maturity shows when he gets fed up with people being disingenuous or rude to him and/or his friends. He also doesn't hold grudges and tends to see things that others don't. But Sonic isn't perfect because of his spontaneous actions and changes.
Sonic tends to act strangely if he feels things are getting too deep. He'll surprise everyone with an unexpected action that he can't justify himself. He cares for the people he loves, even if he doesn't know why.
Sonic tries to give people second chances when it comes to friendships and consistently tries to befriend or bring happiness to the most stubborn of people. It may be because he struggles with social cues on occasion, so he doesn't quite know when to stop sometimes.
When hurt, he places up a protective wall to try and shield himself from vulnerability. This is where Sonic shuts himself off from other people by friend-zoning or going cold in some situations. He keeps people who cause him to be vulnerable at arms length and will keep them there. So long as he can help it, anyway.
[ Except we do NOT give him that kindness. Everyone faces their problems eventually. Sonic most of all >:)) - bee ]
Fun facts / trivia :
A lot of Sonic media is included in this AU, so Sonic has 3 siblings. Sonia, Manic (triplets) and "Classic" (younger brother). This is because we thought it would be fun to add Sonia and Manic from Sonic Underground. Sonia ends up playing a big part in his arc. Classic could have been left or represented as a young version of Sonic but in the Twitter Takeovers, Classic is said to be a separate entity from Modern Sonic. And Sonic having many siblings just fitted his personality. [ I think I saw something about Classic/Modern Sonic and the dealio with them and the funky timeline, but I've forgotten what that was now. I love the idea of Brother Sonic so much to care lmao. Give him all the siblings. I trust him not to burn the house down <3 - bee ]
Sonic has ADHD. [ Yeah :) I mean- is this even a hc anymore. It's basically canon in my eyes hehe - bee ]
Sonic loves to talk and brag about his travels around the globe. Especially since he's previously visited Spagonia (home to the Sonic Love Island villa) before arriving on the show. This boy has a story for everything, and we mean EVERYTHING.
#sonic love island au#sonic love island character bios#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sth#the sims 3#character bio#character design#sonic au#sth au
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