#i usually went for a latte but there was some coffee in there... technically...
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televinita · 2 years ago
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There was free coffee at my first/seasonal job after college where I worked a part-time evening shift. Getting up to grab some was both a nice excuse for a break from the routine computer work and a way to keep yourself perked up (and warm), so I experimented with flavors and ratios of added sugar substitutes and cream until I had a delicious concoction.
(For several years I only drank it at that job, until my then-boyfriend got a Keurig knockoff, and when his roommate invested in a nicer one he passed the machine on to me and I got used to treating myself whenever I wanted. I take it a little less sweet now and I’m still not the kind of person who has it daily or needs it to “wake up” in the morning, but on cold days it’s really nice to look forward to a cup. The wonderful smell alone...)
People who drink coffee: why did you start?
I don't drink coffee and I've never wanted to, but that's obviously ~not normal~, so I'm curious why most people do start drinking it.
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captain-mj · 2 years ago
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Caramel macchiato
Chapter 2! Also, the drink part is so fun, I hope you guys are enjoying that part as much as me.
Ghost had went home afterwards and stretched. He added the sleeve from his London Fog Latte to his hoard before slipping his shirt off and inspecting his back in the mirror. 
Down his spine, a line, or maybe cut would be better, split his skin in half. It looked like a tattoo until he moved, the skin moving slightly. Ghost pulled out his dragon wings. A full shift wasn’t really possible in his flat. He’d be too big for the space. But his wings fit. Kinda. He had to be careful, but they had been hiding under his skin so long that he just wanted to stretch them. 
They were black with gold speckling. There were no claws at the ends or anything, just simple black wings. They folded easily against his back again before stretching to their limits. The bones cracked and he made a pleased hum. His flat was set so there tons of big windows with sheer curtains to keep his privacy but also let tons of sunlight in. It also set on the top floor, basically a penthouse, so no one would be looking through his windows anytime soon. 
Ghost had a bay window he usually lounged on and right now, he wanted nothing more but to soak in the sun. He stretched out and purred contently when the heat of the sun touched his skin. 
His phone rang and Ghost pondered what he did to have friends who hated him so much. It was Alejandro, but that did not ease his frustration. Regardless, he picked up the phone. 
They sat there silently for a moment before Alejandro started talking, apparently getting some signal that Ghost didn’t notice. 
“Hey, so I was wonderin-”
“No.”
“If you wanted to come out later?” Alejandro ignored his interruption. 
“Why does everyone want me to be social? I have a month on leave. I want to enjoy being away from you guys.” 
Alejandro laughed. “You’d stay in your house like a hermit if not for us. Come on. Come out of your house.”
Ghost thought for a moment. “Not tonight, but tomorrow, do you want to go for coffee?”
“Simon… You know I thought we were going to walk around our chemistry forever.” Alejandro sounded very teasing. 
“There’s a hot barista I want to see again.”
“Thank God. What his name?”
“His nametag says Soap. I hope I can find out his real name but I was stupid and didn’t even ask.” Ghost hummed. Soap had annoyingly been on his mind quite a bit. Stupid Scottish man. 
“Soap? No weirder than Ghost I suppose.”
“Kill yourself.” 
Alejandro laughed immediately. “See you in the morning, hermano.”
“Nos vemos.” Ghost responded before hanging up. He stretched again. Admittedly, he did some yoga. For his job, he needed to be flexible and just like his friend Koenig, he wasn’t exactly built for that naturally. Being big had a few disadvantages. 
He considered it but he decided against it for now, instead taking a shower and looking over his hoard. Most of it was made of trinkets from his missions but there were a few personal items. A few hoodies that he had stolen from his friends over the years. Several book series he liked. Tons of jewelry that he thought glittered nicely. Technically, he considered several of his friends to be part of his hoard, but it was tangential. Strictly platonic and he didn’t exactly want to lay on them the way he did his other stuff. After a while, he went to bed, curling up and relaxing. Sleep took a while, but this was a fight Ghost was used to. 
His internal clock woke him up at 5 am sharp. Ghost hated the military sometimes. But regardless, he got dressed and put his boots on. It was freezing outside and there was no snow on the ground. He put a coat on and gloves. His fingers tended to go numb when he got too cold and he didn’t to deal with that. 
He walked for a while. Mostly just in circles honestly. His ending destination would be Alejandro and Rodolfo’s place and then he’d be heading to the Sealie Cafe. He’d probably order whatever Alejandro does. Trying to try more drinks and stuff. 
Maybe he’d try one of those pastries. 
Probably not. Ghost wasn’t a big sweets person. 
Soap would probably taste sweet. And warm. 
He stopped walking. This was hoarding behavior. An instinct to drag Soap up the mountain like he was a pretty princess that couldn’t defend himself. 
Even if he did get closer to Soap, revealing himself was something that would take a lot of time. He hadn’t told Jason until they were almost adults and they had been friends since they were kids. His team knew because almost none of them were human, not anything to really hide. 
But Soap would be different. 
Wouldn’t really work anyway. His job didn’t really allow him to have long term relationships outside his colleagues. Jason was an exception and that was just because the man was stubborn and wanted to stay around him. 
“Two ships passing in the night” was something that passed through Ghost’s mind. He arrived at Alejandro’s at 8 am and knocked, hearing them moving around. 
Alejandro opened the door, hair sticking up everywhere. His curls hadn’t been layered down with products so they poked everywhere. He looked like shit. 
“Did you just wake up?”
“Yes, Ghost. It is 8 am on our leave.”
“Well you guys keep demanding I get out so you just have to deal with it. Get dressed.”
Alejandro muttered something in Spanish and left. Ghost stepped in. 
“Hey Ghost.” Rodolfo waved, clearly having been awake for a while. He looked much more put together. “So a barista huh?”
Ghost really should’ve seen that coming. Of course Alejandro would tell Rodolfo. “Yeah. I don’t plan on doing anything serious with him. Don’t have time.” If he told Rodolfo that, he’d stick to it. 
“If you say so.”
“So you and Alejandro…”
“No.” Rodolfo said immediately, aggressively shoving a piece of egg from his Huevos Rancheros. “That’s not something I want to talk about right now. If you’re hungry, there’s food on the table.”
Ghost saluted him quickly and nodded. “Understandable. No thanks.” His body had decided as soon as he woke up that food just… wasn't going to work today. The thought made him nauseous. 
Rodolfo nodded and smiled when Alejandro reentered the room. Alejandro smiled and said he’d grab lunch on the way home before leaving with Ghost. 
The cafe was a little busy so they waited in line. Simon noticed that he was almost a head taller than everyone else and straightened up a bit. Alejandro laughed, but didn’t comment on it. 
They stood at the front and Alejandro hummed. “Macchiato please.”
Soap narrowed his eyes. “Cafe or Latte?”
“Oh, cafe.”
“Okay, dude, look, a cafe is 3.75 and is a shot of espresso with a small amount of milk foam.” Ghost thought that sounded gross. “Latte is where its the milk with the espresso on top like the one from Starbucks.”
Alejandro frowned. “Yes. I know what they are.”
“Are you sure?” Soap stared him in his eyes.
Alejandro blinked. “Yes.”
“Okay! One cafe macchiato and then for you Ghost?” Soap smiled at him. 
“I will take the one that’s from Starbucks.” Ghost wondered if Soap would stare at him like he just did Alejandro. Instead, he laughed and nodded. 
“I’ll have that right out.” Soap stepped away to make it. It occurred to Ghost that he had never seen anyone else there.
“Him? Really?? Also, you forgot to ask his name.” 
“Oh, I’ll get it in a second.” Ghost led Alejandro away to a table. He stretched. “So Rodolfo.”
“He looked so pretty this morning right?” Alejandro sounded dreamy, like a teen talking about their crush. 
It took… a strong amount of self control to not roll his eyes. “You should ask him out.”
“We’ve been friends so long… What if he doesn’t see me that way? I don’t want to risk it, ya know?”
“I really think you’re overthinking it, Ale. Just… Ask him out.”
“No. it’s got to be romantic. Special.”
“Well if you don’t do it soon, he might not be there to ask.” Ghost pointed out, watching Alejandro glare at him. “I’m just saying. He’s an attractive guy. Wouldn’t be that hard for him.” He was being a little mean, but those two had been tiptoeing around each other so long. Alejandro had already admitted that he considered Rodolfo his. They were both dragons, so Ghost understood. He also understood if there was anything that would rile Alejandro up, it was the idea of Rodolfo no longer being his. 
“He wouldn’t…”
“Are you expecting him to wait forever?” Ghost rubbed his face through the mask. 
Soap appeared, perfect timing as always. He slid Alejandro’s drink to him and set Ghost’s down. “So do they really only call him Ghost?” He addressed it to Alejandro. 
“Yep. Only name we use at work.”
“Ah. Disappointing.”
“I’ll tell you my name if you’ll tell me yours?” Ghost looked up at him, watching the soft blush on Soap’s face. Yeah, it definitely wasn’t the piercings and Ghost wanted to be the evil dragon in the story and drag him to a cave. 
“Johnny.”
“Simon.”
“I think I prefer Ghost.” Soap winked at him and left.
Ghost felt like he was floating. 
“How do you manage to look so lovestruck with just your eyes?”
Ghost kicked him hard under the table. Soap had decorated his drink again. Extra espresso, swirled slightly. The foam had once again been made in a heart with golden sprinkles over it. Ghost almost didn’t want to drink it. 
“The favoritism here is nauseating.”
“What was it like? When he stared at you?”
Alejandro looked at him like he was a delinquent. “Like he was stabbing my soul directly for every customer that’s ever gotten confused by the difference.”
“Hot.”
~~~~
Also, want to be part of a tag list for this fic? Just reply to this and I'll make one :)
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tempestuous-tempest · 1 year ago
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Nick Valentine Ramble and Headcannons:
Warning: I do mention some sensitive topics. I will put these in Orange.
The first character I fell in love with during my "first" playthrough. I had played before technically but the only memory I had was of Nick and I dont believe I got to finish it. So when I finally decided to play it, I went straight for Nick after saving Preston per usual in the game.
Now and days I consider Nick more of a father figure plus I get a free uncle DiMa.
Nick is all around just an awesome character and companion.
As many others, I think he needs more attention in the game. Like the Kellog thing could have been explored a little more. But I understand how complicated that could have been given the way the game works.
His insecurities about his own identity and how he doesnt feel like he is his own person completely separate from the original Nick makes me think that he disassociates sometimes. Which may or may not have been talked about before.
It took himself a while to get used to seeing himself in the mirror.
If you've ever seen the beggining scenes of "Replicas" with Keanu Reeves in it, that's how I feel Nick's imprinting processes might have gone like when he didnt know who he was.
Original Nick smoked cigarettes just for the aesthetic reasons. Synth Nick also mainly does it out of habit. He does somewhat want to quit, even if it doesnt affect him in any way.
Literally acts like a dad and tells tons of dad jokes.
Original Nick was a vanilla ice cream guy. No shame.
If he were able to drink coffee, he would probably order a Latte Macchiato
He enjoys a good book. His favorite genre is actually Romance. The deep, dark entrancing kind that makes you not want to put the book down. Not that sweet, soft stuff that makes you all giddy.
He gives me Gibbs vibes. The guy from N.C.I.S.
Very accepting of those in the community.
I dont really get the whole ship between him and John so I'm just going to stick with my whole "Very close friends" and "Nick is kinda like a parent/guardian to John" headcannon. I think Nick is also older than John and knew him when he was just a young man in his early 20s.
Nick and Gibbs were both semi inspiration for my own Detective character Oscar Matthew Karma. Which if anyone feels like asking about, I can share more info on him too.
I know its not as long as Deacon's was but my mind is drawing blanks right now. Sorry. As I said with Deacon, I will probably make more parts of his. I just need a mind break.
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kuraikyu · 11 months ago
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@digenvez : She might have picked out this specific sweater just for him. Might have picked it specifically because it was very soft and warm and good to cuddle against when approaching Suguru out of the blue, taking only a second to wrap arms around his neck and pull him into a hug for him to relax a bit. [ ♡ weeee ]
To honor the fall in pursuit of new missions and folklore hunting Tokyo squad from Metropolitan Tech assembled march from campus in the sign of tripping! Their anchor - a cottage where the world feels less tacked, engulfed by woodland realm in the mountains. Geto mysteriously delayed beyond the river that divided the residence of students from Senseis by the fault of passionately conceived ideas and returned when there was nothing from the hearkened light of day. With three Pumpkin Spice lattes in his clutch, the reason was none of reaping profits, ( he merely discovered much to his surprise and bewilderment a store that sold gauges from real stones on his secret venture to scout early birthday surprises he could discover for Satoru and Shoko ). '' Sorry, I came back a bit later than planned, I discovered-- … '' The noises of cracking fireplace filled the room where a vintage tune played from the stereo. No alumni in the zone of sight, the room seemed empty so he safely assumed the rest of his companions and colleagues scattered somewhere - technically how could they not, there was a lot to explore around such a place of novelty, and students had to be wild crazy from rare tripping if not frightened by the fact they all had to awaken at deep night to track and seal rare apparitions for their mission. The scarf and outdoor shoes were first to come off, the coffee trio multitasking challenged tank by needle drop.
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The Sorcerer medic before she’d been bowed and tired meanwhile slipped out of another room as soon as the other had entered; following intuitively node of interconnection. She could ambush him in rainy weather just as in warmest of sunny days. With interest that spanned far and wide, he observed her movements scooting closer. He caught a glimpse of her eyes like tones of earth and warmest tree barks looking at him with the force of nature and calmness of ponds and in addition to what is usual or strictly necessary something that brought his auto-pilot flight back from the brink.
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" Oh, you're awake? Thought you went to take a quick nap since we are about to wake up late at night, either way, I brought us some coffee, '' he couldn't help but feel accomplished at the eye-welcoming shine and blink in surprise once spotting one fluffy sweater, " and it has been long since you used such crafty method on me. " A reason more to treasure sporadic over habitual that brings him highs of joy. Continually, in all kinds of ways he has to be able to stomach falling short of the mark, but there is a certain unique and strange delight when she is the one to confine him in the place of caught breath and solstice.
Behind her, the ensemble of fox-trotting flames from the hearth outlined her silhouette from shapen light-like planetary lodge kissed by lava, breeze that ventured over the window pane ajar raised and played with her hair much it would remind him a witch dancing by the fire. She found her victim, imprisoned him, and hypnotized during darkest dusk; with no chance to escape but to submit and obey her will (* and gladly). Her colors sit in his intuition, sweetening his backward eye. Always ready for a showdown she reminded him of caramel, strong and sensual browns magicked by dappled light, she could skin a bone without blinking an eye, an ever-morphing butcher of the dead, the glow of personality brought a vibrant warmth to his heart and soul. Inseparable from his own. Her fingerprints a surging medicine for mind texturing comfort, so avert from judging eye, unkind words, and frequent attempts to conceal mental pain, softening, reducing spellbinding marvel in their simplicity.
Better days are ahead for those who have put bitter ones behind. The language of her gesture resonates through the gaps and the core of his sentient being; reckoning to envisage their common relaxation. In the very midst of the desert, lucid invitation to live and to create binds itself around his neck. To feel and perceive her hues his arm concealed reverence for her virtues, returning the favor and retaining potency in tinge of lingering smile amid mutual embrace. 
Shoko. 
It is impossible — but end me if I'll ever stop holding you like this; pierce my heart with a scalpel if I'll ever deserve it. 
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d-andilion · 2 years ago
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jealous type
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for @whataboutthebard!
prompt: wreck - sex standing up/against a wall
(valskier, E, modern au, established relationship, possessive behavior, d/s undertones, rough sex, technically i wrecked the wrong bard but jaskier did the wrecking and i think that counts, 1.7k, read on ao3)
Valdo has been grinning like a Cheshire cat since he left the cafe, pumpkin spice latte in hand. A long day of teaching spaced-out undergrads, topped off by grading term papers in his puny office for three hours, demanded a festive pick-me-up. The drink would have been enough to lift his spirits, but it’s the phone number scrawled messily on the side of the cup that really sent his mood skyward. And to think, he almost went into the bakery next door.
The number itself is of little interest to Valdo. The scrawny barista that handed it to him seemed sweet and everything, but Valdo isn’t really on the market these days. He has a boyfriend after all. A boyfriend that he is practically skipping home to with another man’s phone number clutched close to his chest.
That makes him sound a good deal more devious than he actually is. It isn’t Valdo’s fault, it’s not as if he dictates his boyfriend’s curious behavior. He’s just reaping the benefits.
As expected, Jaskier is already sprawled on the couch when Valdo gets home. Valdo almost trips on his shoes in his haste to kick them off in the entryway. His heart is already pounding in his ears. He takes a deep, calming breath that does very little to actually relax him before he steps into the living room.
Jaskier leans back over the couch and gives him an upside-down smile. “There you are.”
“Here I am,” Valdo says, his voice a noticeable note higher than usual. He clears his throat. “Sorry I’m late, I stopped for coffee.”
“And you didn’t get me any?” Jaskier’s smile morphs into an exaggerated pout.
Valdo snorts. “Like you need caffeine after five PM.” He did consider getting something for Jaskier, but now Valdo is glad he didn’t. The cup of whipped cream and sprinkles that Jaskier thinks passes for coffee could very well have distracted him from the task at hand and Valdo has got himself far too excited to be passed over for sixteen ounces of pure sugar.
Jaskier reaches over the couch and makes childish grabby hands at Valdo. “Give me a sip at least,” he says.
Valdo hands over the cup with a casual air that requires so much conscious effort, he wonders briefly if there is steam coming out his ears, and retreats to the bar separating their kitchen and living room. He finds some mail there to flick through but he doesn’t absorb a word of it.
“What’s this?” Jaskier asks.
“Hm?” Valdo peeks innocently over his shoulder to see his boyfriend holding up his latte with a curious expression. The phone number stands out starkly on the paper cup. “Oh, the barista wrote his number on my cup, poor thing. I have to admire the confidence.”
Jaskier chuckles. “‘A’ for effort.”
There’s no noticeable change in Jaskier’s voice or demeanor, but Valdo knows it’s only a matter of time. He’s planted the seeds, and now all he has to do is wait. Sure enough, Valdo hears the groan of the couch springs a heartbeat later.
Valdo worked out this little quirk of Jaskier’s a few months after they started dating. Jaskier has never been the jealous type. It would be a little ironic if he were considering the sheer volume of infidelity he’s been personally involved in. He’s caused at least two divorces and that’s just that Valdo knows of. But that doesn’t mean Jaskier is completely immune to his boyfriend being hit on by other people.
It took Valdo a few times to put two and two together, especially with instances being so far between, but eventually, the peculiar pattern revealed itself. It could be an overly friendly colleague at work or a stranger chatting him up in a bar, or a fellow patron watching him a little too closely at the gym. Or, say, a scrawny barista’s phone number on his coffee cup. But whenever Jaskier finds Valdo on the receiving end of a proposition, Valdo has five minutes at maximum before he’s bent over the nearest flat surface.
He and Jaskier are generally an adventurous couple; fucking in unconventional locations or liking it on the rougher side is nothing new for them. But there’s this look in Jaskier’s eye when Valdo catches a stranger’s attention. There’s a heat, an urgency, a desperate need to claim that drives Jaskier to take Valdo where he stands. And Valdo loves it. He loves feeling cheap and priceless all at once, loves being wanted—needed—so badly that they can’t make it to the bedroom just around the corner. 
It’s not like Valdo goes around looking for people to ask him out so he can wave it in Jaskier’s face. He’s not a monster. But he is an attractive man in his prime (who is not afraid to admit it) and every now and then, it just happens. Why shouldn’t they both get a little fun out of it?
Jaskier appears behind Valdo without a word of warning and places his hand ever so lightly on Valdo’s hip. Valdo always runs cool so Jaskier is like a furnace to him, even when they’re barely touching. Soft lips brush the back of Valdo’s neck. 
“I missed you today,” Jaskier says lowly, his breath hot against Valdo’s skin.
Valdo’s eyes flutter shut. “Can’t survive seven hours without me, love?”
“I guess not.” Jaskier snakes an arm around Valdo’s waist and pulls Valdo flush against him. Valdo feels the hard line of Jaskier’s cock against his ass and swallows his moan. “Maybe I’ll just have to keep you here with me forever.”
For a moment, there’s nothing but the sound of Valdo’s ragged breathing and their bodies pressed together. Jaskier is torturously still. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
Inhale…
All at once, the tension snaps. 
Valdo whines his next exhale as Jaskier pins him against the bar with a leg shoved between his. The bar is too high to bend him over so Valdo’s fingers can only scrabble uselessly for purchase while Jaskier sucks bruises into the side of his neck and gets to work on the fastenings of his trousers. Valdo’s hips buck without his permission, seeking what little friction Jaskier’s hand offers.
Jaskier grins against Valdo’s reddened skin. “So desperate for me already, darling?” he teases.
Valdo digs deep for a snarky reply, but nothing escapes his parted lips. Everything that isn’t Jaskier’s hand or his cock or the heavy weight of him pinning Valdo to the wall has disappeared into thin air. And why should he deny being desperate anyway? He knows Jaskier is too.
“Don’t clam up, now,” Jaskier says as he shoves Valdo’s pants down to his thighs and starts on his own. “Aren’t you going to sing for me?”
“If you get on with it,” Valdo groans, as though he wasn’t standing here pretending to read the mail not two full minutes ago.
Jaskier laughs and nips at Valdo’s neck hard enough to sting. “That’s more like it.”
The last of their obstructive clothing out of the way, Jaskier grinds his cock between Valdo’s cheeks, length sliding against his hole. A string of high-pitched curses falls from Valdo’s mouth. He wonders for a breathless moment if Jaskier is going to fuck him dry before he hears the wet sound of Jaskier spitting into his hand. 
Jaskier pushes into Valdo with two spit-slicked fingers, but he only works him for a handful of seconds before he removes them again. Pleading little whimpers leave Valdo unbidden. He can already feel the stretch and the sting, just this side of too much and it’s turning him into a babbling mess already. With the edge of the bar pressing a hard line against his stomach, Valdo is completely trapped against the glorious heat of Jaskier, entirely at his lover’s mercy. Jaskier presses the head of his cock against Valdo’s hole and buries himself to the root in one quick, hard thrust.
The noise Valdo makes is primitive, almost animal. Jaskier pauses, listening for objections but Valdo has none to give. He clenches around that edge of pain in a wave of pleasure and rides it as far as it will take him. Valdo doesn’t have to wait long for another to sweep him away. A needy whimper from him gives Jaskier his cue to move.
Jaskier fucks him without restraint. It’s hard and fast and blissfully relentless, everything Valdo has been aching for since the moment that hero of a barista handed him his stupid coffee.  Every word that isn’t Jaskier and please and yes is driven from Valdo’s head. He’s ruining his nails on the hard surface of the countertop and he’ll probably bruise where the edge is digging into the base of his breastbone, but Valdo doesn’t want to stop for a second, doesn’t even want the space to breathe. 
Valdo used to think possessiveness could only ever be a bad thing. He’s had partners that wore it like a weapon, interrogating Valdo about the friends he seemed too close to or throwing fits when he was too slow to respond to a message. People who wanted to be the center of his universe when he was far from the center of theirs. Who wanted to have him under their thumb and give nothing in return.
But Jaskier has never been like that. He doesn’t bat an eye when Valdo makes plans without him or doesn’t call back right away. Jaskier trusts Valdo not to stray and he would never pay him the insult of looming over his shoulder the way his predecessors have. When Jaskier stakes his claim, it’s never about control. It’s showing Valdo how deeply wanted he is, how desired. It’s telling Valdo that he can have whatever he needs right here if he wants it, that he can belong right here if he wants to.
And Valdo has never wanted to belong anywhere the way he wants to belong with Jaskier.
Valdo doesn’t last long under Jaskier’s swift, pounding rhythm. His vision whites out when he comes, dropping his head back against Jaskier’s shoulder with a strangled cry. Jaskier doesn’t slow for a second. He fucks Valdo through his orgasm and into that sweet haze of oversensitivity while he chases his own release. When Valdo finally feels the hot rush of Jaskier’s spend inside him, his own cock is twitching again.
A breathless laugh bubbles up in Valdo’s chest and he lets himself sink back into Jaskier’s waiting embrace, floating in the weightlessness of his afterglow. Jaskier lavishes Valdo’s neck with lazy kisses.
“Fucking gorgeous,” Jaskier murmurs contentedly. “And all mine.”
Valdo grins like an idiot, warmth blooming in his chest. “All yours, love.”
~~
w.a.t.b. masterlist
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kpopfanfictrash · 4 years ago
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Raise the Barre (Ch. 8)
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Author: kpopfanfictrash
Pairing: Jimin / Reader
Rating: 18+ (Eventual Smut)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers / Dance Academy!AU
Warnings: underage drinking, angst, hoseok’s bare abs
Word Count: 10,705
Summary: You and Park Jimin have been rivals for as long as you’ve known one another; ever since he tripped you in the front row of your first dance convention. When you graduate from high school and enter Russet Ballet Academy, you tell yourself you’re leaving all past quarrels behind. The main problem with this though, is that your past seems determined not to leave you alone.
Worse still, the obstacles you face while out in the real world might prove more challenging than anything your enemy has to offer.  
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“Okay, even you have to admit this is too soon.” Finn stared, appalled at the chalkboard. “It’s not even Halloween!”
Laughing a little, you looped your arm around his to drag him towards the back. Plopping down in a chair, you placed your order number in the center of the table. Seating himself across the table from you, Finn began to undo his coat.
“Come on.” He grinned, brown hair flopping when he leaned forward. “Admit it – this is too early for holiday drinks.”
“Okay, maybe it’s a little early,” you acquiesced. “But Halloween is tomorrow! They probably just put up the holiday drinks so they don’t have to do it on Sunday.”
“Laziness!” he cried, jabbing a finger in the air.
Shaking your head, you smiled when Namjoon, the barista, placed a pumpkin soy latte before you.
“Thanks!” you said, pulling this towards you.
“No problem,” he said, flashing his dimples before he turned to leave.
Taking a long, slow sip of your drink, you groaned. “Oh my god. This is it. This is heaven.”
Finn laughed. “Is that seriously your first pumpkin drink of the season?” Sadly, he shook his head. “I remember our senior year, you dragged me out of bed at 7:00 AM on a Saturday just to get the first pumpkin drink of the year.”
“I know,” you sighed. “But I’ve needed the extra caffeine jolt each morning. Sweet drinks just don’t cut it anymore.”
“Ah, the first step in addiction.” Finn nodded sagely.
Smiling, you settled back in your seat as he took the first sip of his black coffee. It had been two weeks since your fight at the club and since then, Finn had been on his best behavior. For about a week, things between you had been awkward but slowly, your relationship was returning to normal.
Seated in the corner of your favorite coffee shop, you drank from your cup and glanced around the room. This was what you’d pictured when you imagined you and Finn living in the city together. Coffee dates, going on new adventures and continuing your relationship where it had left off.
Of course, this morning was only possible because Miss Britt’s ballet class had been cancelled. A contemporary master class had been scheduled for the afternoon, but your day before then was free – something you’d immediately taken advantage of by calling Finn. It was becoming easier to fit each other into your schedules, more like second nature, but things were still tense whenever things didn’t line up.
None of this was eased by the burgeoning whatever-it-was you’d shoved to the back of your mind regarding Jimin. Since the day of Mr. Vlad’s ballet class, you’d managed to keep your emotions in check, but were constantly on the lookout for dangerous situations. You and Jimin were professionals, obviously, but you were also only human. It was reasonable to have subconscious wants and desires, but these weren’t important unless you chose to act upon them.
You didn’t tell Finn about it because honestly, there was nothing to tell. Okay, so you’d felt an errant spark one day during a lift. Big deal. Finn had been your boyfriend for over two years – it would take more than that to threaten your relationship. A relationship which, frankly, had been getting stronger as of late. Telling him something as inconsequential as a spark you had with Jimin would only take you further down the wrong path.
“Are you sure you’re okay with us doing separate things tomorrow?” Finn interrupted your thoughts. His brow furrowed. “It is Halloween, after all.”
“Ah, yes.” You nodded. “Halloween, the internationally known couple’s holiday.”
He laughed. “Okay, point made – but still.”
“It’s fine,” you assured him. This was something you’d already been over. “It just makes sense like this! Your friends are going to that off-campus party and I promised Noelle I’d go to this club thing with her.”
“Right, of course.” Finn grinned. “I’m bummed I’ll miss seeing you as the Powerpuff girls, though. Who’s going to be the third one, again?”
“Well, I’m Blossom – obviously.”
“Of course.” He nodded. “Miss Responsibility.”
A twinge of annoyance went through you, but you pushed it aside. You didn’t think you were always the responsible one but admittedly, you’d been more on edge than usual lately.
“Anyways,” you continued with a roll of your eyes. “I’m Blossom, Noelle is Buttercup and Irene is going as Bubbles. It’ll be fun! Aside from the whole club part, of course.”
“It does sound fun,” Finn admitted, a tad mournful. “Meanwhile, I’ve been roped into the classic college bro costume of Ghostbusters.”
“Oh, come on! That is classic! You’ll be super cute in your… suit? Cargo pants? What do Ghostbusters wear again?”
“Knowing Ben, something tragic from Party City. Pray for me.”
“I’ll light candles.”
Finn grinned, sipping his coffee again and your conversation slipped naturally to other topics.
Halloween fell on a Saturday this year, which meant every college campus was gearing up for some epic parties. Noelle had managed to snag tickets to a club fancy enough to require an RSVP. Apparently, said brother she missed was a DJ and could get tickets to a lot of things if Noelle bothered to ask.
A bunch of people from Russet were going, which made you excited. There hadn’t been many parties with your classmates so far this semester. Despite technically being in college, your classmates were all under the same intense pressure, only made worse by constant early morning ballet.
This week though, even your teachers seemed to have decided you needed a break. Aside from the master class you had this afternoon, there were zero Russet classes until Monday morning. The break in schedule meant you could actually go out – and drink – if you so decided. You and Noelle were planning on attending a ballet class tomorrow, but your entire day after would be free.
You’d originally planned on seeing Finn during the day, but then he’d been invited to a Halloween darty (day party) starting at noon. Despite not seeing Finn on Halloween, you weren’t feeling stressed. It was only one holiday and not even a couple’s one, as you’d said.
After coffee, you kissed Finn goodbye and headed to class at Danley Hall. The atmosphere was different as soon as you entered the classroom – all of the students were buzzing, excited by the prospect of the weekend ahead. The excitement only grew when coupled with the fact that today’s class was contemporary.
For nearly two months, your training had been mostly ballet. This was the foundation of all western dance, and where most dance students were expected to start. Finally though, you were being given a chance to show off. Today’s teacher, Luna Jordan, was a well-known contemporary choreographer across the globe.
You’d done a master class with her once back in high school and honestly couldn’t wait to learn from her again. She wasn’t alone, though, you noticed as you walked in – an unfamiliar, dark-haired guy stood beside her, stretching lithely before the room’s mirror.
“Holy shit,” Noelle whispered as she came to a stop. “That’s Jeon Jungkook.”
Startled, you looked twice and saw she was right. You hadn’t recognized him without his bevy of followers, but Jeon Jungkook was known in the dance world. A child prodigy, he’d been on America’s Got Talent at age eleven and finished in second place. Following this, his family had moved to LA and he’d been in high demand for movies, music videos and performances ever since.
You remembered hearing he worked with Luna Jordan, but the thought hadn’t crossed your mind before now that he might be here.
Noelle cocked her head to one side. “He’s hot.”
“Noelle,” you hissed, trying to shush her.
“What!” A devious grin spread across her face. “Am I supposed to be blind, as well as mute?”
“Well, no, but –”
“Alright, everyone!” Miss Luna clapped her hands together. “I know everyone is excited for the weekend, but we unfortunately have an hour and a half together before then. Everyone spread out for warm-ups!”
A few people laughed, spreading out on the floor as class began. Noelle wriggled her eyebrows, pulling you towards the front in order to get the best spot. Hiding a smile, you ducked your head and settled beside her into a stretch.
Noelle was nearly as excited as you were for the opportunity to dance contemporary. Most of your classmates knew this to be your forte – you caught glances from the corner of your eye while you warmed up, trying not to let their attention get to your head.
Jimin was also near the front, although on the opposite side. You suspected your class was equally excited to see him perform – as talented as Jimin was at ballet, there was a reason you hadn’t thought he’d be at Russet this fall. Jimin’s strength in jazz and contemporary was unparalleled. You would’ve thought he’d gone to LA to become a dancer like Jungkook.
Speaking of whom – Jungkook really was attractive; that much couldn’t be denied. He had dark, wavy hair pulled into a bun and cheekbones sharp enough to cut glass. When he glanced up from his stretch, his gaze somehow found yours and he smiled.
Eyes widening, you stared until you caught sight of Jimin behind him. Glancing between the two of you, Jimin’s expression soured before he looked away. Lips parting, you felt the sudden urge to say something, but there was too much distance between you.
“You ready?” Miss Luna called, an upbeat pop song blasting from the stereo. “Let’s go!”
She launched into isolations, leaving the rest of the class to follow. Warm-ups passed quickly and before you knew it, you were gathered at center to learn the combination. Miss Luna’s style was right up your alley. The steps came easily and, once you’d learned the whole chorus, she left you alone to practice.
You were helping Ari with a difficult move when you caught sight of Sabrina as you turned. She’d positioned herself near the back, which had to be a first. Usually, Sabrina was front and center to allow for maximum receipt of teacher praise.
The decision to stand near the back could’ve been strategy – sometimes, dancers did that at conventions. Conventions were giant weekends of competition with teachers from all over the globe who taught master classes to hundreds of dancers in hotel ballrooms and convention centers. Space at the front tended to be limited, so some stayed at the back, where there was more room to dance and be seen. You had a greater likelihood to capture the teacher’s attention when you had the room to do incredible leaps.
Sabrina’s decision didn’t seem strategic, though. While you watched, Sabrina stumbled transitioning from one move to the next. A brief twinge of pity went through you.
It was easy enough to spot ballerinas dancing anything but ballet. Although ballet was the root of modern westernized dance, it could be hard to translate into other styles. Ballet was more rigid than contemporary, jazz or hip-hop. In ballet, each position was defined, individual style was limited, and dancers were expected to all look the same. Standing out in the corps de ballet was equally frowned upon as missing an entrance.
Not that ballet wasn’t important to all dance styles, mind you. Even hip-hop dancers took ballet to improve their balance, core strength and general understanding of the body. There was an element of individuality in other dance styles, though, which lacked in ballet. Contemporary and hip-hop dancers were expected to have relentless technique all while creating their own, unique flair.
Just looking at Sabrina you could clearly see the holes. She was trying so hard to emulate the moves of Miss Luna, she was kind of missing the point. When Miss Luna did a certain flick of the wrist, it wasn’t a defined part of the choreography, but rather an individual choice.
Without thinking, you took a step forward – only to stop. Sabrina wouldn’t want your help; she’d already made that abundantly clear. Besides, you knew her friend Katie to be a contemporary dancer. She could help Sabrina and yet, when you looked, you saw Katie practicing near the front with Jungkook.
Jungkook obviously knew the steps, since this was probably the tenth time he’d learned the combination. Dance teachers often did that – selected a dancer to attend classes with them, traveling to different cities to demonstrate the combination and help when they weren’t free.
Before you could decide whether to help Sabrina, Miss Luna clapped her hands again.
“Let’s do groups!” she declared. “I’ll count you off into groups of four, and each group will showcase. Sound good?”
It wasn’t really a question so much as an announcement. The rest of the class nodded, waiting while Miss Luna counted you off. You ended up in the same group as Irene, Paulo and a few others. Jimin and Noelle were in the group two, while Sabrina was in the group after theirs.
Jogging off to the side, you waited while the first group took center. You were part of group four, which meant you’d be amongst the last to dance on the floor. When the music began, you closed your eyes and began to mark the combination. You tried not to focus on what anyone else was doing, but this became difficult once Noelle’s group stepped up.
Noelle had trained in jazz and contemporary, although she’d stopped in high school to focus mainly on ballet. Still, her artistry shone in her movement. She could definitely stand to loosen up a bit but was still one of the best in the bunch. You found yourself smiling when she landed a turn, silently cheering her on from the side.
While you were watching, Jimin cut across your vision.
Dropping to the ground, he rolled and arched as his forehead brushed wood. His quality of movement was breathtaking and for a moment, you felt like you were back in high school.
Suddenly returned to those dimmed auditoriums, you watched Jimin take the stage like an otherworldly being. His body seemed to move before your mind could comprehend. Barely did he finish one move before he was starting another, the steps flowing endlessly together like unhindered water. Although you knew the combination and knew how you would dance it, watching Jimin perform was a different experience entirely.
Ballet required dancers to stay on the beat but in contemporary, they were expected to lag. Extensions were all the more breathtaking when they clung to the last second, seeming as though the dancer might not make it before they caught up. Jimin was an expert in this, knowing exactly when to hang precariously over the edge and when to pull back.
Watching him dance, that pesky, strange something bloomed in your chest again.
Squashing this quickly, you looked away and resumed marking the combo. The end of the song was improvisation though and, unable to stop yourself, you found your attention drifting to Jimin again. He was ridiculously beautiful – you nearly didn’t hear when Miss Luna called for them to stop. As she turned off the music, she applauded the group while they walked from the floor.
Breathing heavily, Noelle came to a stop alongside you and – somewhat guiltily, since you hadn’t been watching – you gave her a high-five.
“That was awesome!” you said with a grin. “You definitely stood out in the group.”
Noelle snort-laughed. “Not with Jimin up there, but that’s okay. This is his specialty – and yours,” she added with a wink. “I’m psyched for group four.”
“Ah,” you groaned, rubbing your neck. “Too much pressure.”
Noelle laughed, shaking her head as group three took the floor. Both of you fell silent to watch, your curious gaze finding Sabrina in the back. Sabrina looked almost nervous; an emotion which seemed out of place on her features. It made her look almost human.
As soon as the music began, you stifled a wince. Sabrina stood out from the group, and not in a good way. She had the combination down but moved with a woodenness you would’ve expected from someone half her age. It was enough for you to glance at Miss Luna, wondering if she had noticed.
“Wow,” Noelle whispered, looking almost gleeful. “Sabrina is terrible.”
“Noelle!” you whisper-laughed.
“What? After everything she’s done? After everything she’s said?” Noelle’s gaze narrowed. “Sabrina deserves this.”
Despite privately agreeing, you couldn’t help but feel bad as Sabrina continued. Not wanting to watch any longer, you turned towards the front and resumed marking the combo. As soon as Miss Luna cut the music and polite clapping ensued, you turned back around.
It was time for group four. A shaky, sick feeling entered your stomach as you walked to center. So many eyes were on you, but it had been so long since you danced contemporary. You couldn’t help but wonder if you were as good as people seemed to imagine. Surrounded by so many dancers at Russet, surely your own talent would pale in comparison.
As soon as the music began though, everything faded. Insecurities slipping away, a lightness entered your chest as, eyes falling shut, you slowly inhaled.
Taking a step forward, you opened your eyes and began.
To you, dance had several phases. The first was learning, where you memorized each step and put them in order. The second was understanding, where your muscle memory began to take over and the combination felt smoother. The final phase, performance, was when you thought not of the steps, and were free to just dance.
This was your favorite phrase. In this phase, your mind separated from your body, leaving you only with sweat and emotion. Dance was the only art form composed solely of the body. An odd combination of physical strength and artistic beauty, it was both a testament to human capability and human emotion.
Losing yourself in the music, you ebbed and flowed through the combination until the choreography ended and improvisation began. Finally, you let go and held nothing back. Raw, unbridled passion poured out as you lost sight of yourself, so consumed by the movement.
When the song finally finished and you came to a stop, you were panting for breath. Glancing up, the first person you saw was Jimin.
He stood off to one side, leaning casually against the rungs of the barre, but his expression was anything but. Focused on you, his gaze had turned dark in a way which made you catch your breath.
Miss Luna clapped both hands once again, returning your attention to her. Blinking, Jimin shook his head and in your peripheral, you saw him straighten.
“Very good!” Miss Luna scanned the group. “I know our time is nearly at and end, but why don’t we have a few students come out and demonstrate?”
Again, this was fairly common in master classes. After learning the combination, teachers would often single out students to perform as examples. It wasn’t always the students with the best technique who got chosen. Oftentimes, it was as much for passion and performance quality.
Taking a step forward, Miss Luna began to call out names. You were one of the first – setting your water down, you jogged back to center. Jimin was the next person called, then Noelle, much to your excitement. Jungkook was also instructed to join on the floor.
Turning the lights halfway down, Miss Luna pressed play and let you improvise until the combination began. Jungkook started dancing and honestly, he was beautiful, but you couldn’t linger on him for long. 
Catching sight of Jimin again, you were once more transported to earlier times. This wasn’t the first time you’d been called out together. Oftentimes, this had happened at conventions but back then, your mind had been too clouded to see him for who he was.
You’d always wanted to beat him in high school, but now, you were consumed by the oddest desire to see him do well.
Glancing up, Jimin caught your gaze and he smiled – but then, the combination began.
By the time you were finished, you could hardly catch your breath but somehow, you felt the most alive you’d been in ages. Back in your own element, surrounded by some of the most amazing dancers in the world – this was what you’d imagined when you came to Russet.
People around the room clapped, some of them begrudgingly. You got the impression many of your classmates weren’t used to not being chosen. As you walked from the floor, you saw surprisingly, Sabrina wasn’t amongst them.
Instead, Sabrina simply looked tired – as though she’d tried her best and it hadn’t been enough. You knew that look. You sympathized with that look.
The look lingered in the back of your mind while you packed up your things and listened to Noelle discuss Halloween tomorrow. When she mentioned Ari had decided to visit her family this weekend, an idea began to form in your mind.
“Wait,” you interrupted, looking up. “Ari can’t come tomorrow?”
Noelle shook her head. “Her brother just turned eighteen, so her whole family is having a party or something.”
“So… her ticket is free, then?”
“Yes…” Noelle paused. “Why? Y/N, what are you planning?”
“Okay. Hear me out,” you said as you shrugged on your coat. It was cold enough now for the coat to be necessary.
Noelle sighed, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “Alright, I’m listening.”
Glancing away, you saw Sabrina packing her things on the other side of the room. Before you could talk yourself out of it, you returned to Noelle.
“What if we invited Sabrina?”
Noelle snorted. “Pass.”
“Noelle,” you laughed, reaching out for her arm. “Come on! Do you really think she’s doing anything for Halloween?”
“Probably not. And that’s her own fault.”
“Maybe,” you said, glancing at Sabrina once more. “But how could it hurt? We have an extra ticket, there’ll be tons of people tomorrow night. She’ll probably say no – at least this way, you can claim a write-off on your way into heaven!”
Noelle upper lip twitched. “Oh, is that how write-offs work?”
“Well, I can only assume.”
Finally, she laughed. “Ugh, fine. You can invite her – but only because it’s Halloween, and Halloween is a time for peace. And slutty costumes.”
“Thanks, babe,” you said, squeezing her waist in a one-armed hug.
Sighing exaggeratedly, Noelle waved aside your thanks. Hiking your bag higher, you began to make your way across the room. As you closed in on Sabrina, you began to rethink your choice. It had been nearly a month since anything bad had happened between you but still, you found yourself feeling wary. As tough as you pretended to be, rejection hurt you just as much as the next person.
Still, dancing with Jimin had been a reminder of just how bitter your relationship used to be. If that relationship could change, you had to imagine things with Sabrina could, too.
Coming to a stop at her bag, you waited for her to look up. When she finally did, her brow wrinkled in confusion.
“What?” Sabrina asked, sounding defensive. “What do you want, Y/N?”
You couldn’t really blame her for her suspicion. Had your situations been reversed, you would’ve been equally distrustful. It was likely Sabrina thought you were coming over to gloat, or say something to do with class today. Another twinge of pity went through you as Sabrina zipped her bag shut to stand.
“I just wanted to know what you were doing tomorrow,” you said, trying to smile. “Noelle has an extra ticket to a Halloween party, and we thought you might like to come.”
Sabrina stared. “What?”
“Tomorrow is Halloween,” you said, a bit slower. “You know – when we were kids, it was all about costumes and candy. Now, it’s about costumes and booze?”
Sabrina failed to crack a smile. “And you want… me to come to this party?”
Something about the way she said this made you sad, as though she genuinely thought this might be a joke. As though at any moment, someone might jump out and yell SIKE.
“Yeah,” you said, softening a little. “Look – it’s not a big deal if you can’t make it. A bunch of our class is going though, so we thought of you.”
Sabrina hesitated, then glanced at the door. “Okay,” she said, looking back. “Okay, yeah. I’ll come.”
Stifling your surprise, you nodded. “Great. I’ll text you where to meet us tomorrow before the club. Wear a costume,” you added before walking away. “Noelle said it’s required.”
“Alright,” Sabrina said, so quiet you almost missed it.
Walking away, you were nearly at the door when Jungkook popped up before you. Flashing a smile, he fixed a loose strand of hair away from his face. Feet fumbling to a stop, you could only stare.
“Y/N, right?” he said, sounding shy.
Unable to find the words, you blinked in response. The way Jungkook danced had been so confident, you’d only assumed this to be his off-floor persona, as well. Hearing him sound shy was unexpected. 
Also – you hadn’t expected him to know your name.
“I… yeah, that’s me.” Shaking your head, you smiled. “Jungkook, right?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “I just wanted to say I’m such a big fan of your dancing. It was great to take class with you today.”
Without meaning to, a laugh escaped your lips. Jungkook stared at you, baffled until you quickly waved him off.
“Oh, no – no! Sorry,” you said. “I’m not laughing at you! I’m just laughing at the ridiculousness of you saying you’re a fan of me.”
Some of Jungkook’s wariness disappeared, and a small smile played across his lips.
“Well, I am.” His grin widened. “I used to assist on the convention circuit, too and I remember you being called out all the time. You and Jimin,” he added, glancing across the room.
You looked, too and saw Jimin still packing his things. His back was stiff, pointedly not looking in your direction. Lingering on him a moment, you returned to Jungkook.
“Still,” you said with a laugh. “It’s a bit of a stretch to say we took class together when you’re the teacher’s assistant.”
“True.” Jungkook paused. “Well, next time you’re in LA, let’s fix that. Let me know if you’re ever in town and we can take a class together.”
Despite yourself, your brows raised. It was harmless, but Jungkook was definitely flirting with you. He was attractive, sure and seemed nice, but he lived in LA and you had a boyfriend. You should probably leave before things had the chance to go any further. The last thing you needed was another complication. Adjusting your bag, you gave Jungkook a small smile.
“Sounds like a plan,” you said before turning away.
Jungkook chuckled from behind. “Bye, Y/N.”
As you joined Noelle at the door, she stared over your shoulder.
“What?” you said, coming to a stop.
Noelle’s gaze moved to yours in disbelief. “How?” she demanded as you exited class. “How do you have all these men just… tripping over themselves for you?”
Heat rising to your face, you shook your head. “That’s – I,” you sputtered. “You’re being ridiculous!”
“Am I?” Noelle grinned. “First Jimin, now Jungkook… and all this while having a boyfriend.” 
“I… you... Jimin is not tripping over himself for me!”
Both her brows shot way, way up. “Is that the only part of the sentence you took objection to?”
“Shut up,” you groaned and shoved her in the side.
Noelle laughed but nodded. “Alright, fine! I’ll stop. Did Sabrina say she’ll come?”
“She did.”
“Great. I still don’t like her,” Noelle said, pushing open the door. “But I guess you’re right, I have an extra ticket. It’s nice to be nice.”
You laughed, pulling your coat tighter as you walked outside. “You’re a saint.”
While you walked, your phone dinged and pulling this from your pocket, you saw a notification on Instagram. Jeon_Jungkook97 has followed you.
Shaking your head, you returned this to your jacket as you continued. While it was nice of Jungkook to compliment your dancing, his approval didn’t mean as much as certain other peoples had. This realization stuck in your mind, making you wonder about Noelle’s teasing jibe.
She had said Jimin flirted with you, but that wasn’t true – was it? You would have known if Jimin were flirting. It was hard to pick out though, since Jimin was friendly with everyone. That was just who he was; as he’d said earlier, he liked to be liked. A note of uncertainty entered your thoughts though, recalling the ballet class with your chest pressed to his. Shoving this away, you forced yourself to focus on the upcoming weekend.
Halloween was a night for fun, for letting loose and enjoying yourself with your friends. You refused to let the night be spoiled by any lingering feelings – either from you, or towards you.
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The next night was perfect Halloween weather.
Chilly, but not cold enough to risk snow falling. There were several Halloweens from childhood you could recall trick-or-treating with a winter coat flung over your costume because the temperature had dropped below freezing.
You, Noelle and Irene showed up to Paulo’s house around 8:00 PM, shivering a little while you stood on his doorstep. Paulo was one of the few freshmen who lived off-campus, having known several upperclassmen before he came to Russet. The brownstone he lived in was cute, with window boxes you imagined hosted flowers in the summer.
Tugging your pink and black minidress down, you adjusted your bow as Paulo opened the door.
Blinking, he took in your costumes. “The Powerpuff girls!” He cheered, raising an arm overhead. “Try not to take down any of the villains upstairs, yeah?”
“No promises,” said Irene, flicking hair over her shoulder.
Entering the house, you heard thumping bass from an apartment upstairs. Paulo lived on the third floor and as you climbed the steps, the music grew louder. It took Paulo two tries to shove open the door – “warped wood,” he explained – but once you were inside, you saw familiar faces.
“The Powerpuff girls!” Jasmine cried, jumping up from the couch. “Finally! Thank god – can you take down Eamon? He came here dressed as a potato, or something.”
“It’s an avocado!” Eamon shouted from the kitchen. He was dressed in a round, green costume with a halo overhead. “I’m ‘holy guacamole’ – get it?” he said, pointing at the halo.
Jasmine stared at him a moment. “That’s terrible. Worse than mine,” she said with a wave down her body. “I’ve been Princess Jasmine for the past five Halloweens. It’s easy to remember and I already have the outfit.”
Laughing, you shrugged off your coat and added this to a pile on the couch. “It’s a classic,” you agreed as you turned.
Noelle had managed to procure at least twenty tickets to the party tonight, so a lot of your freshman Russet class was in attendance. Including Sabrina, who stood in the corner, talking to Louis over cups of red punch. She looked up when you entered, pausing before she gave a small wave. Surprised by the gesture, you did the same.
“No.” Noelle groaned, coming to a stop alongside you. When you looked, you saw she’d already removed her coat. “Tell me Sabrina didn’t come to this party dressed as a ballerina.”
“We did invite her at the last minute,” you laughed. “Hard to find a good Halloween costume in a day.”
“Hey,” Noelle argued. “There’s no we here. You were the one who invited her, and you’ll be the one to accept the consequences should your social experiment fail.”
“Done,” you agreed. “Speaking of social experiments though, I’m ready to get drunk tonight. Where’s the alcohol?”
“Kitchen!” Irene called, brushing past. “Or – that’s where Brian disappeared to when we entered, so I can only assume.”
Telling Noelle you’d be back with drinks, you wound through the room towards where Irene had pointed. The kitchen was tiny, on par with most city apartments. There was only room enough for one or two people, so you were lucky it was deserted when you entered.
Surveying the counter, you found the usual party staples. A bowl of red punch, a bunch of beer and various liquor bottles with chasers. Skipping over the communal punch bowl, you reached for a bottle of diet coke and coconut rum.
“Oh,” a voice said as they entered the kitchen. “Sorry – I didn’t know you were in here.”
Glancing up, you saw Jimin and froze.
He’d dyed his hair black – that was the first thing you noticed. Jimin’s hair was no longer blonde, but completely dark. His outfit confused you at first – a frilly, white blouse with slicked-back hair and dark trousers – until you saw his bright red contacts and the dribble of blood at his mouth.
“A vampire,” you said, finally recovering your voice. Scanning his body, you frowned. “Where are the teeth, though?”
Jimin blinked, his gaze jerking up from your waist.
“Huh?” he said, sounding a bit strangled.
Cheeks heating a little – your dress was pretty short – you repeated yourself. “The teeth,” you said, pointing at your own lips. “Don’t vampires have fangs?”
“Oh, right.” Jimin dug around in his pocket – fuck, were his trousers tight – to produce twin fangs. “I took them off when I got here. They’re really hard to talk in.”
“Go on then, Park,” you said with a grin. “Put them in.”
“One second.” Twisting to face the wall, Jimin popped them in his mouth. Turning around, he bared his teeth. “Sexy?”
With the teeth in though, the word came out more like shex-shie and you burst into laughter. “So sexy,” you agreed, reaching past him for a cup.
Jimin stiffened when your arm brushed his front. Unbidden, you thought about what Noelle had said – Jimin had been flirting with you. Pulling away, you resumed making your drinks and tried not to look in his direction.
Even so, you remained aware of his presence. Jimin inched his way behind you, reaching for the whiskey on the other side. His arm brushed your elbow as he went, right knee nudging yours in an intimate gesture.
Glancing up from the counter, you accidentally caught his gaze. Despite your earlier joking, he did look sexy. Devastatingly so. Even the blood-red contacts weren’t enough to deter the shiver which ran down your spine.
Shaking yourself free from your trance, you grabbed both cups and pulled back. 
“So, what’re you drinking?” you asked. 
You decided it was best to steer the conversation away from how sexy Park Jimin was or was not.
Seemingly oblivious to your inner turmoil, Jimin poured whiskey into his cup. “Whiskey and coke. Can you pass me that bottle?”
“Sure,” you said, leaping at the chance to prevent him from walking past you again. “Here you go.”
Pushing this forward, you watched Jimin pour both drinks all the way to the brim. He paused near the end, staring into the depths before he looked up. He seemed to be warring with something, debating whether or not to speak whatever was on his mind.
“So…” He paused. “Do you know Jungkook, or something?”
You blinked. “Jungkook…?”
“You know, Miss Luna’s assistant. Jeon Jungkook.”
“Oh! Jungkook. No, I don’t really know him.”
“You were talking to him at the end of class, though?”
Hearing the curiosity in his voice, both your brows raised. “And?”
“And nothing,” Jimin said, sounding uncomfortable. “I just… I didn’t know you knew him, that’s all.”
“I mean, I don’t.” You paused. “But even if I did, what does it matter?”
“It doesn’t.” His cheeks began to redden. “It’s just – ah, never mind. We don’t have that great a history, that’s all. He’s kind of the reason I’m at Russet this year.”
You stared at Jimin a moment. “Wow, what a tragedy,” you said, stifling a laugh. “To have been forced to attend one of the most prestigious dance institutions in the world.”
His upper lip twitched. “It’s not that. I was deciding between attending Russet and accepting a job offer out west. I was asked to join this pop star on tour… anyways, Jungkook’s never liked me much. It’s a long story.” Jimin’s brow furrowed. “My offer was rescinded at the last minute. The artist never said why, but I always got the feeling he had something to do with it.”
You stared at Jimin a moment, unsure how to respond. Jungkook hadn’t seemed like that kind of person, but you supposed you’d only talked to him for a few minutes. If that was true, what happened to Jimin sucked and yet, the next words from your mouth nearly had you face-palming.
“And here I thought I was your biggest rival, Park,” you said.
Jimin’s eyes widened. “Are you… jealous, Y/N?”
He sounded almost pleased by the notion, which sent a different kind of shiver down your spine.
“Not at all,” you said quickly, turning back to your drinks.
Jimin made a soft tsk-ing sound, as though he didn’t believe you.
“That sucks,” you continued, determined to change the subject. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”
“Yeah. Maybe it was all for the best, though. Things happen for a reason, right?”
Looking up, you caught Jimin’s stare. He didn’t look immediately away and you got the oddest sensation he meant more than what he said. Hastily, you pushed this feeling aside, clutching your drinks as you entered the main room. Jimin followed close behind, two cups in his hands.
“When did you get here?” you asked. “Been here long?”
Jimin shook his head. “Nah. Hoseok and I got here like, ten minutes ago. He should be around here somewhere, he –”
“Y/N!”
You looked up just in time to see Hoseok, Jimin’s roommate, barreling towards you.
“It’s been so long!” Crushing you to his chest, Hoseok wrapped you in a hug. “Hope Jimin isn’t boring you to death,” he stage-whispered before he pulled away.
“Just for that.” Jimin arched a brow. “Both these drinks are for me.”
“No – wait, wait. I’m sorry!” Hoseok pouted. “Hand over the drink, Park. It’s been the longest fucking week.”
Jimin grinned and relented, handing Hoseok his cup as you laughed. Hoseok was a newer friend, but he was close to Jimin, so he’d gradually bled into your latest gatherings. Despite not being on the ballet track, most of the dancers at Russet knew of him. Hoseok had that way about him.
Glancing down at your outfit, Hoseok held up a finger. “Let me guess – Blossom,” he said, turning to scan the room. “Which means… aha! Irene is Bubbles and Noelle is Buttercup. Makes sense.”
“And you are…” Pausing, you squinted at his outfit. “Someone at the spa?”
“Sure.” Hoseok shrugged. “Honestly, I just wanted to wear a bathrobe.”
Said bathrobe was paired with only boxers, the front of the robe open to display his toned abs. The costume didn’t surprise you, based on past interactions with Hoseok.
Casually, he twirled the robe tie in a circle. “Impressive, no?” Hoseok glanced away. “Whoa, wait – they have beer pong? See you all later!”
Hurrying off, he left you alone with Jimin. Shaking your head, you glanced in his direction and saw Jimin down his whole drink. Arching a brow, you were about to ask why when Irene called your names from across the room.
“Y/N!” She waved her hands. “Jimin! Get over here, you two – we need more for flip cup!”
You found yourself pulled in this direction despite your insistence you didn’t do well under pressure. Jimin ended up at the other end of the table and you lost sight of him when you started to play, paired with Jasmine for a partner.
By the end of the first round, you discovered you weren’t as horrible a player as you’d imagined. Then someone suggested mixed drinks for the second round, and things became fuzzier. There were more people present than just current students of Russet. One of Paulo’s roommates knew Seokjin, so you saw him in the room, along with Sana.
You chatted with both over the course of the evening, in addition to a guy who’d recently debuted on Broadway, Kim Taehyung. Apparently, there was already buzz around him for a Tony. Taehyung was nice, but it was sometime during this conversation you realized how tipsy you were. Apparently, not drinking for several months and then going ham made for very low tolerance.
Collapsing onto the couch, you joined Irene and Brian’s conversation. In the corner of your eye, you caught sight of Noelle – a terrible flip cup player, she’d roped Hoseok into giving her private lessons, but these seemed to be going terribly. Or perhaps very well, given how much the two of them were laughing.
You completely forgot about Jimin until you spotted him across the room talking to Sabrina. Seeing them together, you straightened. Both seemed fairly comfortable, which struck you as odd. Since that morning in Jimin’s dorm, you hadn’t really seen them hang out together.
Despite this, Jimin was laughing at something Sabrina had said. Tearing your gaze away, you forced yourself to focus on the conversation at hand. It didn’t matter who Jimin spoke to, or even who he decided to go home with tonight. He was your dance partner and friend, nothing more and besides – you had a boyfriend.
Blinking, you reached into your clutch and pulled out your phone. To your disappointment, you’d gotten no texts from Finn since this morning. You assumed he was still at his party but didn’t know for sure. Shooting him a text, hey, you waited for a response and when you got none, returned your phone to your purse.
Across the room, you heard Noelle yell your name. “Y/N!” She cupped her mouth with both hands. “We need another person for flip cup!”
Laughing, you pushed yourself from the couch and were immediately roped into your fourth game of the night. The night blurred again after that, turning into a pleasant hum of conversation and booze. At some point, Ubers were called to bring you to the club. As you rushed downstairs, you realized you forgot your coat as soon as you stepped outside.
Shivering violently, you rubbed your arms and cursed yourself for poor foresight.
“Y/N?” Jimin came to a stop alongside you. “Hey, where’s your coat?”
“Inside,” you said through chattering teeth. “I-it’s fine, though. I’m fine!”
Jimin gave you a look. “Where’s Paulo?” he said, glancing around. “I’ll grab him, we can get your coat before we go –”
“The Uber’s already here, though,” you argued, grabbing his sleeve to drag him towards the curb. “I’ll be fine from here to the club!”
Jimin sighed but gave in, following when you rushed to the grey SUV. Irene had claimed the front seat, so you and Jimin pulled open the middle door – Noelle and Hoseok were crowding behind you, so you and Jimin ended up together in the backseat.
Collapsed in a heap, you giggled as Jimin tried to squish himself in a corner. “Sorry,” he said, trying – and failing – to keep his knees separate.
“Jimin.” You snorted. “Are we going to go through this again? Your hands have been in way more inappropriate places than that this semester.”
Jimin’s lips parted, shocked, but you were already hoisting yourself over the middle seat. Draping your arms next to Noelle, you begged her to play your favorite song on the radio. Had you been more sober, you might’ve recognized your position to be precarious – perched on the edge of your seat, your ass hovered inches away from Jimin’s face.
Plopping back down, you glanced sideways at Jimin and found him frozen. Suddenly, you realized the visual he’d had.
“Um, so what happened to the teeth?” you blurted, determined to change the subject.
Jimin blinked and managed to meet your gaze. “Casualty of flip cup,” he said. “One of them fell out during the game and I couldn’t find where it rolled.”
“Well, that’s okay. You can just be one of those vampires who blend in with normal humans. You know, the kind whose fangs only come out when they want to bite someone.”
“That’s true.” Jimin arched a brow. “Lucky for you, I’m not hungry.”
“Lucky for me? Lucky for you,” you retorted. “My blood is about half alcohol right now. If you drank my blood, you’d be a very silly vampire.”
The idea of a silly vampire made you laugh – even more so when you pictured said vampire as Jimin. He seemed much too coherent for your liking right now.
“A silly vampire, huh?” Jimin looked on, amused. “Damn, Y/N – when was the last time you went out? Your tolerance is shit.”
“I know,” you sighed. “I haven’t drunk much this semester. Too much dance, too little time. I think the last time I went out was –”
“We’re here!” squealed Noelle, throwing open the door.
A blast of cold air hit you and you shivered, wishing you’d worn your coat. Jimin’s gaze remained steady on yours.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he said lowly. “I can give you, uh…”
“Your shirt?” you said dryly, lifting a brow as you brushed past. “Then you’d be shirtless, Park. Let’s think this through.”
Jimin chuckled before he followed suit, although you cursed as soon as you left the car. He was correct. It was freezing, even with your alcohol-induced blanket.
“Come on!” you yelped, following Noelle towards the entrance.
Bypassing the line, Noelle walked straight towards the bouncer and showed him her phone. He nodded and waved her past, counting your friend group who followed. Not everyone from Paulo’s place had gone to the club, but enough for you to make quite the entrance.
“Y/N!” Noelle doubled back to link arms with you. “Come on – this way! That guy’s going to show us to our table.”
“Table?” you asked her, wide-eyed.
Tables in a club on Halloween night were ridiculously expensive, but it seemed Noelle had downplayed her brother’s connections. Your group was led right to the front of the upper balcony, getting a coveted spot overlooking the dance floor below.
This was undeniably the coolest club you’d been in. Not that you’d been in many, mind you, but this one had to take the cake. A half-circle of tables took up the top floor, with twin staircases descending to the main room below. Most of the lower floor was for dancing, although you saw additional tables pushed to the sides. Fluorescent bars and dance platforms were dotted throughout and above all was the DJ booth, blasting the latest songs.
“Whoa,” you breathed.
Noelle grinned, squeezing your arm to pull you into the booth. As soon as you settled in, Jasmine leapt up and clapped her hands.
“I want to be in one of those!” she said, pointing to a glowing cage at the center of the dance floor.
“Oo, me too!” Irene leapt up to join her.
“Me, three!” said Paulo, clambering out of the booth.
“Awesome.” Irene beamed and glanced your way. “What about you, Y/N? You in?”
The idea was tempting for a moment, but then Finn flashed through your mind. You highly doubted he’d be on board with you gyrating for a room full of strangers without him. Somewhat dejectedly, you plopped back on the bench.
“That’s okay,” you sighed. “I think I’m going to stay here for a while. I’ll join you later!”
Irene frowned but nodded, following the rest when they left for the stairs. About half the group went, clearing out the table while you stared at the dance floor.
Jimin slid into the bench alongside you. “You don’t want to dance?”
Startled, you glanced in his direction. While you watched, Jimin began to undo his cuffs, casually rolling the sleeves of his shirt. His hair, which had been slicked back at the start of the night, was starting to fall. Several dark strands hung over his forehead, although this only seemed to make the look more appealing.
“No,” you said, crossing your legs. “I just… don’t really feel like it.”
“Is this the whole hating clubs thing again?”
“Kind of.” You laughed. “I don’t know. Club dancing isn’t like normal dancing, you know?”
“It is when you’re at the club with all dancers,” Jimin pointed out, nodding towards the floor.
Following his gaze, you saw Jasmine dancing full-out in a lit-up cage. She wasn’t so much gyrating as she was creating choreography on the fly. The mere mortals around her looked on in awe. Fighting a smile, you returned to Jimin.
“Okay, that does look like fun,” you admitted. “The last time I was at a club was with Finn.”
Jimin blinked. “Sorry – what?”
“In the cab,” you said, leaning closer in order to be heard. “You asked me when I last went out. It was that night… um, the night you came and picked me up.”
Jimin stared at you a moment, as though contemplating something important. Abruptly, he stood and held out a hand. You blinked at this like he’d offered a football.
“What are you doing?” you said, glancing up.
“Taking you down to the dance floor.” Jimin retracted said hand. “Come on, Y/N! You don’t have to give out dry lap dances, or whatever.”
“Hey!” In disbelief, your mouth fell open. “You said you’d forget all about that!”
His smile turned impish. “Seriously, we can just do the sprinkler, or something. It’ll be fun!”
“The sprinkler?” Starting to laugh, you stood. “Was that really the first move you thought of?”
“Nah. My go-to move is the criss-cross, but I figured this was more your speed.”
Snorting, you shoved him in the arm before following Jimin to the dance floor. It didn’t take you long to spot your other friends, clustered near the front and around the DJ booth.
“Y/N!” Noelle cheered, breaking off from the pack. “You made it!”
She nearly spilled her drink while she danced, catching herself just in time as she spun around. You grinned, entering the circle with Jimin by your side. He did, in fact, pull out the criss-cross – Hoseok joined in and soon, there was a Fortnite dance battle between them. You truly haven’t lived until you’ve seen a TikTok dance-off between two semi-professional dancers.
This ended with both declaring mutual defeat, and Hoseok disappearing to buy the next round. Noelle shimmied her way over to Jasmine, accepting the hand given to stand on the platform.
You laughed at their ridiculous dance moves, choosing instead to stay on the ground. The crowd around you had thinned since you’d joined. Eamon disappeared a few minutes later, saying something about needing a drink upstairs. Before long, Irene had joined Jasmine and Noelle on the platform, leaving you alone with Jimin on the floor.
Under other circumstances, you might have felt uncomfortable, but Jimin was so good at putting you at ease. Determined to keep you in the present, he came up with more and more complicated dance moves which had you snorting with laughter.
On a particularly flamboyant spin, Jimin accidentally smacked the drink from someone’s grasp. Blue vodka splattered everywhere, drenching its owner – a burly man in leather who snarled in frustration.
Looking up, he met your gaze and his eyes narrowed.
“Shit. Run!” you blurted out.
Grabbing Jimin by the arm, you dragged him into the crowd.
“No, wait – let me apologize!” Jimin tried to twist around. “I can pay for his drink! I can –”
Once there was suitable distance between you and the guy, you came to a stop. Laughing so hard you nearly fell over, you turned sideways to face him.
Bodies pressed against you from every side but rather than feel claustrophobic, all you could think about was Jimin before you. His hair had become thoroughly mussed during the night and you fought the sudden desire to smooth it down.
Although your breath came hard, the club around you seemed to slow. The music somehow had narrowed to pinpricks, a heady thump of bass while everything dulled.
What you should’ve done was taken a step back – but you didn’t.
Instead, your gaze drifted across his face. Jimin stared back, something intense to his gaze you couldn’t quite name. Breath caught in your throat, his eyes dropped to your lips.
Before you could react, someone bumped into you from behind, sending you careening forward. Jimin caught you easily, one arm around your waist and your chest pressed to his. You could feel every hard line of his body, his thigh wedged between your legs while you grasped at his arms. Heart thudding traitorously against your ribcage, you tried to ignore the emotions which followed.
It was impossible. 
The song playing was slower, sexier than the one which had inspired the dance-off. Without meaning to, your weight subtly shifted. This caused your hips to move against his as Jimin quietly sucked in a breath. The effect this had on him was instantaneous. His grip on you tightened, gaze heady with desire and something more. Before you could second-guess what you were doing, you moved your hips again – this time, on purpose.
Jimin’s eyes darkened. Without looking away, his grip on you tightened as he slowly dragged you up his thigh. Suddenly breathless, your hands gripped him tighter while your eyes fluttered shut. The heat of his body on yours, the faint smell of cologne and sweat, the tension in his limbs and the knowledge of what he could do to you – it all left your head spinning.
“Y/N,” Jimin murmured, low in your ear.
You weren’t used to him saying your name like that.
You were used to him saying your name in every other way, but not that. Sharp with dancer’s critique, brusque with instruction, light with teasing – but not like something heavy was lodged in his throat. Maybe his heart.
Panicked, your eyes flew open.
What were you doing? This wasn’t some random stranger and this sure as hell wasn’t your boyfriend. This was Jimin. Stumbling backwards, you broke from his hold. Jimin seemed equally stunned, staring at you on the dance floor.
“I have to go,” you blurted and whirled around.
Shoving into the crowd, you heard Jimin emit a soft groan. Despite this, he didn’t immediately pursue, for which you were grateful. Stumbling through strangers, strobe lights flashed brightly overhead. You squeezed between someone dressed as a go-go and another person dressed as a werewolf. Skidding to a stop on the edge of the floor, you scanned the room and saw no one from Russet.
When you glanced over your shoulder, you saw Jimin now followed. Panicking again, you began to move. Beside one of the bars, you spotted a hallway labeled restrooms. Heading in this direction, you quickly disappeared inside the door marked women.
Once inside, you locked yourself in a stall, lowered the lid and sat down. Head in hands, you slowly exhaled. You were a coward; that much was clear. Jimin was probably out there looking for you right now, but you’d rather hide in a bathroom than face him.
The fluorescent lighting overhead was too bright – it made you feel overexposed. After a long moment, you fished around in your purse and pulled out your phone. Flipping to your thread with Finn, you saw he’d sent no response since your text. Complete and utter silence.
Heart cracking a little, you slid this in your bag and stared at the door. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. When you imagined you and Finn at college, you’d always pictured you together, attending the same parties and sharing the same adventures. Tonight though, had proven to be anything but that. Finn hadn’t once glanced at his phone judging by the unread mark next to your text.
Dimly, you wondered why you weren’t more upset about this. It should bother you that Finn hadn’t called or even texted throughout the day. Sure, he was out with friends, but so were you and you’d reached out – as soon as you thought this, your heart sank.
You weren’t sure you could call Jimin a friend after what had just happened.
Sure, you’d only danced, and it had only been for a second but still, guilt bloomed behind your ribcage. The idea of Finn doing the same thing with anyone else made your heart twist. You wouldn’t feel that way if what you’d done wasn’t wrong.
Groaning out loud, you lowered your head to your hands. After several minutes, you felt calm enough to stand and pretend-flush the toilet. As you exited the stall, you walked to the sink and began washing your hands. Staring at yourself in the mirror, a million things ran through your mind.
Clearly, the situation with Jimin was worse than you’d thought. The spark you’d felt kept returning, no matter how much you tried to ignore it. Maybe the only solution was to find a new partner. The very idea made your heart sink, but you couldn’t deny things had gotten out of hand.
Before you could seriously consider the option, the door to the bathroom flung open and banged against the wall. Sabrina stormed in, wiping both eyes with the heel of her hand. You froze, staring at her in the mirror but she didn’t seem to notice your presence.
When she finally lowered her hands and took a deep breath, she saw you and froze.
For a moment, you both only stared at each other and then – you coughed. Awkwardly, you began to dry your hands.
“Are you okay?” you asked, tentative.
Sabrina stiffened. “I’m fine,” she muttered, walking to the sink.
You watched her wash her hands, struggling and failing to control her expression. Sabrina’s hair was a mess and you stared, wondering where she’d been. You hadn’t seen her since you’d entered the club, but had assumed she’d stayed on the second floor.
“Are you sure?” you pressed, remembering your night at the other club. “You know, you can –”
“Will you… just stop.” Sabrina closed her eyes. “Will you … stop pretending like we’re friends, or something?”
Struck with disbelief, you could only stare. “I… are you serious?”
“Yes.”
“Wow.” You shook your head. “Just wow.”
Her lips tightened and finally, she whirled around. “What?” Sabrina demanded. “What is it?”
The look in her eyes was familiar. Her frustrated, angry look was mirrored in your expression, but you found you didn’t care. Sabrina was clearly going through something, but her rudeness to you was the final straw. Tired from Finn, Jimin and the constant pressure you were both under, something about Sabrina’s words made you break.
“Why are you always such a… such a bitch,” you blurted, hurling the word like a knife. “What did I ever do to you? Why do you always act like you hate me so much?”
Sabrina’s upper lip curled. “Why do you always think this is about you, Y/N? Maybe I just wanted one second of peace and instead, here you are. Like always.”
“Here I am, in the public restroom of a club we’re all at?”
“No. Here you are in my life,” she snapped, pushing herself from the sink. “People won’t talk to me? It’s because you’ve run your mouth about things you think I’ve done. I’m falling in the class ranks? It’s because you’re after my spot. Jimin doesn’t want to be my partner? It’s because of his feelings for you. I’m sick of turning around and always seeing you there!”
“Okay, but none of those things – I, Jimin doesn’t have feelings for me,” you sputtered.
Sabrina gave you a look. “Oh, please, Y/N.” Her laughter was harsh. “Why else would he turn me down?”
“Um, maybe because he’s a decent human being? Unlike yourself.”
“Great, yeah.” Sabrina glared. “Make me the bad guy again.”
“I’m not the one doing that,” you huffed. “You are. You want to blame me because no one wants to be your friend? Maybe try reaching out first. Maybe don’t talk shit about people behind their backs. And I’m improving because I’m taking extra lessons. No thanks to you, of course.”
“Don’t try and make me feel bad because I didn’t have time to give you lessons.”
“I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I’m trying to explain why I’m improving and you’re not.”
Sabrina bristled. “Are you saying I don’t work hard, too?”
“No.” Mirthless, you laughed. “I know you work hard – maybe even as hard as I do. But you know what the big difference is between you and me?” you said, drawing yourself to your full height.
Sabrina’s eyes glimmered while she stared you down. Still, she retained her aloofness when she said, “What? What’s the big secret?”
“You think everyone’s out to get you,” you said, stepping closer. “You think not asking for help makes you stronger, but it’s the exact opposite. At least I’ve improved since the start of the year. What have you done?”
Not waiting for an answer, you pushed past Sabrina and walked out the door.
Shoving it wide, you entered the hallway. Dance music flooded your senses and you winced, remembering where you were and what you’d been doing. Luckily, Jimin was nowhere in sight. He must not have seen where you’d disappeared to.
Shoulders slumping, you pulled out your phone and dialed a number. Walking to the front, you concentrated on breathing while you waited for them to pick up. Coming to a stop beside coat check, you didn’t leave the club – a lesson you’d learned the hard way.
Noelle answered on the third ring. “Babe?” she yelled, barely audible over the din. “What’s going on? Where are you?”
“Are you…” Closing your eyes, you paused. “Can we leave?”
Noelle paused, then muffled her phone with one hand. “Irene!” you heard her yell. “You good to get a ride home for these people? Okay, cool. Bye!” Her phone became un-muffled. “Where are you, babe?”
After explaining your location, you hung up and hugged yourself with both arms. Noelle burst into view a few moments later, scanning the crowd like a mom on a mission. When she saw you, she rushed over – and you promptly burst into tears.
“Oh, no!” Pulling you into a hug, Noelle began to rub your back. “No, no, babe! Don’t cry! What’s going on? Do I need to kick someone’s ass?”
Hearing Jimin’s words said by Noelle only made you cry harder. Wisely sensing this to be a problem not easily solved, Noelle continued rubbing your back while walking towards the exit.
The two of you went outside and, as luck would have it, saw a group of people arriving at the club. Noelle snagged their taxi, helping you in the backseat and giving the driver your address. As you settled against her, your head on her shoulder, Noelle kept rubbing your arm and waited for the tears to stop.
You weren’t really sure why you were crying.
Of course, Sabrina was terrible, as was the situation with Jimin, but it was more than that. Dancing with Jimin hadn’t caused problems in your relationship with Finn. There had been problems in your relationship Finn and so, feelings had crept in which led you to dance with Jimin.
More than that though, you couldn’t help but notice Noelle had come to your aid much faster than Finn ever had. Even Jimin had dropped everything when you asked, and he was someone you’d once called your enemy. Noelle had been having fun, but she’d cut her night short because you were upset. This knowledge crushed you and for the very first time, you realized your relationship with Finn might be unfixable.
Curled up on the backseat, you let yourself cry a bit more. You could be calm and rational in the morning, you decided but for now, you just felt defeated.
When you finally climbed into bed at your dorm at night, you looked at your phone and saw Finn still hadn’t texted.
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Author’s Note: Thank you for reading! 😊 New chapters of Raise the Barre are posted weekly; dates are listed on the series Master List. Requests for updates will be deleted.
RAISE THE BARRE MASTERLIST 
© kpopfanfictrash, 2020. Do not copy or repost without permission.
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readinginthereadyroom · 3 years ago
Text
let’s talk about 9-1-1 buddie headcanons:
- eddie gets rid of his truck. christopher is getting older and wants more independence so he gets something with better clearance. and I’ve decided that something is a dodge durango. eddie is actually really into it. can’t stop talking about the fold down seats and towing capabilities. buck teases him and calls it his soccer mom van. then immediately starts researching CP-friendly soccer leagues for chris.
- buck strikes me as a podcast kinda guy. I feel like a lot of his random facts probably start with information learned via podcast and then researched separately on google or wikipedia. 
- luddite eddie my beloved. but not like luddite luddite. eddie’s a millennial so I see him as okay with all the 20th century technology he grew up with and just not all the newfangled smart home/internet gaming stuff. 
- abuela gives eddie an old turntable and a box of records and he falls in love with it. likes to play spanish love songs while cleaning on the weekends.
- eddie breaks up with ana. he does it quietly and cordially a couple weeks after the sniper incident.
- buck and taylor date for a little while but never really take off. and it’s super important that it’s buck who makes the decision to break up. they both have very busy lives and different priorities. and taylor acknowledges she probably shouldn’t have kissed him in the first place. she just hated to see buck so broken and wanted to comfort him. they decide they are better as friends.
- bosko and eddie friendship rights! eddie actually apologizes to her and they become gym buddies. lena stops going to the junkyard fights and finds an MMA gym that she’ll take eddie to. during the pandemic they somehow find themselves doing socially distanced tai-chi in the park. they keep it up once the gyms reopen.
- side note: lena does in fact get a cat. he’s a huge floofy maine coon named sarge who absolutely adores eddie. rubs his head all over him and immediately worms his way into his lap when eddie visits. he hisses at buck tho and lena finds it endlessly hilarious.
- demisexual eddie! I like the idea of lena no-nonsense asking eddie if he’s ace one day and eddie just having an internal panic attack but not being able to figure out why. karen gently brings it up few months later and he’s just deny deny deny. then he overhears david telling michael that he gives off ace vibes and that’s the last straw. so eddie pulls a full buck and starts researching just to prove everyone wrong. except it’s like a lightbulb clicks on and yeah. maybe there’s something to this.
- eddie and karen have a book club every other week. usually novellas or a short story collection. queer theory and literary fiction. the occasional poetry book. at some point they invite david to join them. they also have a not-so-secret romance novel exchange because they are big saps.
- eddie is also a sucker for a really good cup of black coffee. has a favorite hole-in-the-wall cafe where he buys beans in bulk. buck calls it his diesel fuel drink and grimaces at the taste. he prefers simple oatmilk latte from the place near the station. and yet buck always seems to know what days eddie will be running late and rushing to work and has a cup from said hole-in-the-wall coffee waiting. despite it not being on buck’s route. 
- christopher loves buck’s loft. buck keeps a stash of toys and coloring books in his coffee table trunk for when he visits. chris sees the stairs as a fun challenge and will often ask to go up and sit on buck’s bed to watch the city. or sit on the patio while buck bbq’s dinner for the three of them. he thinks it’s the coolest house ever.
- buck actually rides his bike. it’s not just for show. especially after the pandemic hit. he likes to go out in the mornings. drives to a nearby trail on his days off and enjoys the scenery while the sun comes up. sometimes eddie and chris meet him there after his ride and they have a breakfast picnic.
- the diaz-buckley-han’s share one netflix account. it’s technically buck’s in that he pays for it, but when maddie moved to LA he set her up with her own profile. then logged into his account at eddie’s one day and never logged out. renamed the profile buck & eddie after he setup a kid’s profile specifically for chris. then after learning about maddie and chim’s not-dating buff-fridays, buck put both their names on her profile as a prank. and then it just stayed that way. jee-yun even has a profile despite being a literal infant that doesn’t watch tv. maddie cried when she saw it.
- buck takes the legal guardianship thing very seriously. he’s already really involved in essentially co-parenting chris but he starts getting really nervous about asking invasive questions about chris’ medical history. so eddie sits him down with chris and the three of them talk about it. eddie very specifically asks chris if he’s okay with sharing that kind of info with buck. because even tho christopher’s a kid eddie always wants him to have a say in his own health decisions. then he has a more in-depth convo with just buck about insurance and bills and doctor’s visits. makes sure buck has access to all of it. 
- chris played secret matchmaker. went to his old friend santa claus and asked if buck would stay forever. santa came thru, as always.
- also carla knows. buck starts spending more nights at the diaz house and one morning she lets herself in and sees buck coming out of eddie’s room in just a pair of sweatpants. she gives him a coy eyebrow raise and buck blushes. then she just laughs, pats his cheek affectionately, and says your secret’s safe with me buckaroo. when a bleary-eyed eddie wanders out a half hour later she pushes a cup of coffee into his hands, waits a few moments, looks eddie dead in the eyes, and points at buck. I see you took my advice. eddie chokes on his coffee.
- speaking of carla she is family. she and her husband are regular guests at the 118 get-togethers, holidays at the firehouse, and family meals. she occasionally takes on other clients, but she’s mostly exclusive to the diazes these days. esp as christopher gets older and wants more independence. she’s been around since he was 7 and he’s comfortable with her. she stays his home heath care aide until she retires. then she personally vets a new one. because not just anyone will do for her boy. they throw her a huge retirement party.
- gonna jump into the future because christopher absolutely names his daughter carla shannon buckley-diaz. there isn’t a dry eye in the house.
- and I don’t actually see chris calling buck pops or anything. he’s just his buck. tho I can see eddie asking christopher if he wants to hyphenate his last name when buck officially adopts him. buck’s his hero so chris is 100% onboard. 
- buck and eddie don’t have more kids. eddie never wanted more and buck is surrounded by the ever-expanding horde of firefam kids. they love their little trio.
- also eddie is hilariously terrible with other kids. he just. doesn’t know how to talk to them. he’s literally the best father ever with christopher, but any other kid and he’s all awkward hello small human. it’s also the reason the team sends buck to handle kid rescues. he knows how to speak to kids and they light up around his sunshine energy. but then there are certain kids who just glom onto eddie. usually the quiet ones. they find something about his calm dad presence very soothing so they just cling to him until buck can coax them around. 
- I do not see the buckley-diazes getting a pet. buck and eddie work long shifts and it’s not fair to put that kind of extra responsibility on carla when her job is to care for chris. however, as chris gets older he does get a mobility service dog to help with counterbalance. she’s a golden retriever named stella and she’s a very good girl. 
- buck proposes by accident. they’re at the park with christopher and marriage just sorta comes up during one of his infodumps. eddie is eating his sandwich, nodding along, and just casually says of course I want to marry you. buck stops talking. christopher giggles. eddie panics. but when he looks at buck he’s all puppy-eyed and hopeful. you do? eddie nods. chris chimes in with a stage whispered ask properly buck and say yes dad. so they do.
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gurlwithluvx3 · 2 years ago
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never alone (2) | OT7
Pairing: friendships w/ OT7 and pregnant!reader (non-idol!AU)
Genre: angst, oc finding herself
Warnings: brief mention of sex, anxiety/depression, feeling of loneliness, talks of pregnancy, navigating an unexpected pregnancy
Word count: ~1.5K
Author's Note: i started this fanfic when i thought i was pregnant (very important for y'all to practice safe sex, srs) and i know that my ex would be a dead-beat, toxic man who wouldn't step up and just added the boys because i know that they would support me x3
Masterpost | (1) (2) (3)
Masterlist
You’re 10 weeks pregnant now, barely reaching your 2nd trimester. You’ve experienced the worst of the pregnancy symptoms but was still able to hide your pregnancy from most people. 
Out of the two people you’ve told about your pregnancy, one of them was your boss, who suddenly came to your liking. And you can’t help but think it’s because you’re close to his daughter’s age. He’s been wanting a grandchild for so long, he instantly took an interest in your pregnancy. Plus, you can say you have a good relationship with your boss considering that you’ve worked with him for the past 4 years. 
You told him the next business meeting, which will take place in 2 weeks, you would announce your pregnancy to the company. And you’ve decided this because you’re sure some people at the office can see how lenient your boss is with you. Like days when you’re in the bathroom more than you are at your desk and he lets you leave earlier than expected. No one would assume you’re pregnant, but they would assume you’re seeing your boss. And you want nothing more than to clear the air.  
And the other person you told about your pregnancy is the manager at your favorite coffee shop. You actually have considered him one of your closest friends at one point in time. You saw him in his humble beginnings of being a barista to now the store manager. 
And you technically didn’t tell him but instead he guessed it only because he realized you stopped ordering your go-to drink as you only settled for pastries instead. 
You’ve known each other for quite some time now, he basically finds things out with a sudden change to your order. Like the time you and your ex broke up, you stopped ordering espresso and settled for a skinny latte and he instantly knew something was up. 
Or like the time you had your interview for the position you have now, after working for the same company for 2 years. You had only ordered tea for a whole week straight since you read somewhere that tea calms down anxiety, which was more or less true for you. 
But he also could tell by your change of demeanor too. You can say that he was pretty observant of his usual customers, but he was particularly observant with you. He can tell what kind of day you’re having based on how you approach him and his employees as you order. 
He knows when he can tease you and when to leave you alone. So when you came in about 5 weeks ago, hair up in a messy bun, eyes as puffy as can be, and your lack of social skills, he knew something was up. 
******** flashback
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but are you going to be okay?” He asks as you sit in your corner of the coffee shop. You look around and see only a handful of college students and one employee. 
“Hi Yoongs” you say with a defeated tone. And instantly he knew what that meant. He looks to his employee and they both nod, which means to call him only when absolutely necessary. 
“What’s going on Y/N?” He says with a hint of concern on his face. The second concerned face you’ve seen today since Namjoon gave you his handkerchief. 
You look at him, ready to release all this built up emotions. But then you realized you don’t have that kind of friendship to cry like a baby in front of him. So you take a bite of your pastry and take a deep breath.
“I saw my OBGYN today..” you start, looking at him as his gaze went from concerned to confused in a matter of seconds. “I’m pregnant”. 
You’ve never seen his eyes so wide than how it is now. He’s trying not to stare but you know that he has questions. 
“It’s his..” you say with shame. “We didn’t have a condom at that time. I don’t even know” you start to say before you feel tears falling from your face. 
He quickly stands up and you feel your heart start to sink. The first person you tell and you can’t bear the disappointment. What more for your family and friends?
But then he comes back with a box of facial tissues and some water and sits right back down.
“How are you feeling?” Is all he manages to ask after a moment of silence. He looks at you with a sincere look. 
“Nauseous. All I’ve been feeling is nauseous, and I’m only 5 weeks” you whine. But out of nowhere, hearing yourself complain made you laugh. “But considering everything else, I’m okay”. 
Yoongi takes a sip of your water as he carefully tries to read you. He’s not sure whether to laugh out of nervousness or cry out of sympathy so he waits for you. 
You grab a hold of his shoulder, “I promise I’m okay Yoongs. I’ve made peace with it and just want to do what’s best for the baby and I” you say, rubbing your non-existing tummy. 
Hours have passed since you first got to the coffee shop. Chairs are up, his employees are gone, and all that’s left are you, Yoongi, and a salad that was barely touched. 
“He should at least know about the baby,” Yoongi says. “I can try to get a hold of him if you want”. Yoongi and your ex were in the same basketball league for a couple of seasons, so Yoongi would consider him an acquaintance at the least.  
“No, no, no” you silently yell, shaking your head no. “I’ve reached out to him and told him to call me back because it’s important. If he hasn’t reached out by now, I know he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore”. You and Yoongi both know this is 100% accurate. But you don’t sound defeated this time around. 
“My doctor is going to help me. She’s had a lot of patients dealing with the same thing, she has a consultant for me to speak with sometime next week. I’m not alone” you say to Yoongi trying to reassure him that you’re okay. Or maybe you’re trying to reassure yourself at this point. 
And suddenly you feel the warmth of his hand on top of yours. “You’re right about that Y/N. You’re not going to be alone. I’m going to be here for you and your baby. I’m gonna be the best uncle there is!” He says enthusiastically. 
The rest of the night, you spend time joking and planning his “uncle and me” time and how he’s going to teach your baby all there is to know about coffee and music. “Your son is gonna be my next protege!” He says out of excitement. 
“How do you know it’s going to be a boy?” You ask, laughing at Yoongi’s sudden revelation. 
He looks at you and shrugs as he laughs, “I just have a feeling it’s a boy” he says as he looks at your tummy. You start rubbing your tummy and look up to Yoongi before looking back at your stomach. 
“Guess we can’t disappoint uncle Yoongi now, baby. You have no choice but to be a boy”. The two of you start laughing and joking a little longer before calling it a night. 
As Yoongi locks up his shop he offers you a ride home, since it’s too late for you to take the subway. But he says he has to make a quick detour to drop off something to his friend's place. It’s on the way back to your place so you don’t mind at all, especially since he didn’t have to give you a ride in the first place.
You’re going down a familiar neighborhood, only to realize it’s your exes neighborhood. Or at least his old neighborhood. Yoongi stops a block or two down the road from your exes complex and calls his friend to let him know he’s outside.
And much to your surprise, the friend he called is none other than Namjoon, the kind gentleman who lent you his handkerchief and water. 
“What a small world” Namjoon says as he leans over your window as he hands you something to give to Yoongi. 
Namjoon stares at you before looking at Yoongi. “I didn’t think I’d see you again Y/N! Are you feeling better?” He asks, taking note of your much better appearance. 
You nod and smile, and turn to Yoongi. “Namjoon and I met at the subway station earlier. He’s the one that revived me”. Yoongi smiles and looks at Namjoon. 
“Thanks bro, she’s definitely doing much better”, Yoongi says before silence fills the air. 
“Well I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone! Have a goodnight!” Namjoon jokes around, and you AND Yoongi both deny Namjoon’s statement. 
“Definitely not lovebirds” you say while chuckling. “But he’s definitely a great friend!” You say while you turn back to Namjoon. “Thank you again for earlier by the way”.
You make eye contact with Namjoon and notice his smile looks happier than earlier, and you never realized how contagious a smile can be as you find yourself smiling now too.
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imagine-this-life-143 · 3 years ago
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Kim Seokjin - Vanilla Lattes
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Seokjin grumbled as the loud alarm clock blared in his ear, disrupting the already minimal amount of sleep he had managed to get over the past four hours. He loved filming music videos; the experiences were often some of the highlights of his year. But he absolutely despised the intense schedules that would come with them; late nights, early starts. It was something where the good outweighed the bad, but only barely.
As the eldest of the band, Jin felt almost a paternal need to care for his dongsaengs. He knew the hyungs could technically care for themselves, but he had raised the maknaes, acting as their father for many years. Jin couldn’t just ignore this urge, no, he was dubbed the housewife of the band because of his need to care for the members.
This even continued throughout comeback season, and video shootings, where he would be too tired to remember to put socks on, but without fail would make breakfast for the boys in the morning. He’d have to be absolutely bed-ridden, unable to move before he’d stop making breakfast for his dongsaengs.
Dragging his feet along the wooden floor, Jin made his way into the spotless kitchen. Usually there would be some sort of mess from the night before, but they had decided to grab takeaway on the way home from the late-night shoot. This, thankfully, meant that he didn’t have to worry about cleaning something the boys had missed, and he could go straight to cooking.
Music video season also meant long rehearsals, song writing and recording, and many hours clocked in the gym to make sure that their bodies were perfect for the screen. And with little time to cook a fully nutritious breakfast, Jin went with the bare minimum recipes; eggs, chicken, and rice. Jin was just putting the food on the table as the boys started to tiredly stumble out of their rooms, yawning and rubbing their eyes as they sat down at the table.
It wasn’t much longer later that Jin and Namjoon were herding the boisterous boys into the van, already running late to the venue.
“Do you know what part we’re shooting today?” Jin asked Namjoon as they sat at the front, ignoring the loud conversation the maknaes were partaking in at the back of the van. “I didn’t get time to read it this morning,” he admitted.
“We did our solo sections yesterday, so today is more group sections, the car ride, and the final scene.” Namjoon explained, pulling up the call sheet that Seijin had sent them the night before. They were filming the video for Life Goes On, and due to unforeseen technical issues, they were already running behind shooting schedule.
Because of how late they arrived, the minute the boys got out of the van they were pushed towards makeup and stylist trailers. Jin, J-Hope and Yoongi were forced into chairs by the makeup artists, whilst Jimin, Namjoon, Taehyung and Jungkook had piles of clothes shoved into their arms. It was a race against time to get all of the boys ready as quickly as they could.
Jin was the first out the door, the makeup artists deciding that he really didn’t need to be wearing much for the shoot today. He thanked the makeup artist before walking over to the coffee van, desperately in need of caffeine for the long day ahead of them.
“Hey, what can I get for you?” You asked as Jin reached the front of the line, noticing that he was one of the members. When your boss had approached you about working this job, there was absolutely no way that you could say no to the opportunity. BTS wasn’t a band that you knew particularly well, but you had always wanted to work as a caterer for movie and music sets. It was an odd dream, but for some reason you simply loved the idea of working on set.
“A vanilla latte, thank you,” Jin smiled warmly. You were very beautiful, he had to admit, barely being able to take his eyes off of you the entire interaction. He watched as you made his drink, the smile never fading from his face as you laughed with the other worker in the trailer.
It was almost as if it were love at first sight. Jin didn’t believe in love at first sight, but maybe that was because he had never experienced it for himself. But whilst he was standing there, waiting for his drink, he couldn’t help but feel the instant butterflies in his stomach, and his heart explode when you laughed. He wanted to commit every second of your effortless beauty to his mind, so he’d never forget.
“Vanilla latte for Jin!” You called out, holding the coffee cup in your hand. Smiling, you handed the drink to him, heart exploding as your hand brushed his. Secretly, you had written down your number on the side of the cup, hoping that he’d notice and would call you.
Jin immediately noticed the number on the cup, and spared no time in saving the number into his phone under the contact ‘Cute Barista’. He was ecstatic for the rest of the day, excited for the end of the shoot, so he could finally call you.
As soon as they arrived back at the dorm, that’s exactly what he did. He quickly brought up your contact and hit the call button, waiting impatiently for you to answer the phone. When you answered, he released a nervous breath that he had been holding in for most of the day.
“Hey, it’s Jin from the shoot today. Is it just me or was that love at first sight?”
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seoracle · 4 years ago
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DRIVERS LICENSE; ii
Pairing: Bang Chan x Idol! Gender Neutral Reader
Genre: Fake Dating! AU, Angst, Lovers to Enemies(?), Occasional Pining, Comedy, Smut 
Summary: Y/N has become an overnight sensation with ‘Drivers License’, Breaking records left and right…But what if the press gets wind of the ill-matched lovers and their company decide it’s the perfect attention ploy?
Word Count: 4.5k
Warnings: Mature themes, Dry-humping and Drinking, Angst warning
A/N: part three will conclude this series, thank you for the support!
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“So Y/N, I’ll only ask one question on the topic but...What attracted you to Bang Chan?” 
“Well, everything really.” You say with a fond smile. “When we first met I had just moved to Sydney and he took care of me. I think I started liking him then, But I only confessed when we were both trainees.” 
“How cute!” The interviewer gushes, fanning herself. “I hope you two have many happy days to come.”
Things had been jam-packed since the news of you and Chan had come out, his fandom had been more welcoming than you had expected and left lots of sweet comments under your social media accounts. You hadn’t done any interviews until today, just music shows or performances. You also hadn’t actually seen or spoken to him since it all went down, not even at the meeting.
In fairness you had both become extremely busy, and constantly were a hot topic for netizens. Your fame had skyrocketed even more so than it originally did, you had now become the ambassador of a major brand and already had a performance booked for the end of year awards with a brand new song.
Your mind went back to your conversation with Chan and how quick you had been to blurt out hurtful words that you no longer meant. 
You knew it was up to you to reach out, but admitting your actions were over the top isn’t something you’re ready to do. You hadn’t technically lied but calling him a sellout was a low blow, and although he wasn’t an angel he wouldn’t say something like that to you. 
Today is a better day than any to deliver your reluctant apology, a fake date is scheduled for a popular book store that recently finished an extension for their in store cafe.You dressed casually and made sure to bring your mask and matching black baseball hat, along with Tims Tams.
Even though it’s only 1pm, the sky is dim and dreary which makes the walk to the cafe a bit more nerve-wracking. What if he chews you out before you can get a word in? He was always good at that. The scent of arabica coffee beans brings you to your senses and you walk in before you can make a run for it and never return, goodbye idol life, au revoir pilates and adiós to Christopher Bang.
“You actually came.” A voice remarks, making you squeal in surprise. 
“What the fuck?!” You screech, placing a hand over your heart to try calm it’s rapid beating.
He opens the door, smiling in amusement at your terror. You settle in a corner with a large bright window, perfect for paparazzi and incase you nervous retch. Chan heads to the counter and comes back with a double shot Americano and a Green Tea Latte.
“Thanks.” You murmur sheepishly, feeling like a complete asshole for lashing out at him.
“I wanted to run something by you, well, to clarify something…” He begins to explain, waiting for your nod of approval before he begins. “I didn’t even know Seungah, or ‘Mijoo’ properly until we broke up. I wouldn’t hurt you like that, I know I still did but I just wanted you to understand.”
You’re taken aback by him not being mad at you for two weeks ago, even though he has every right to be. If he had said half the things you had said he wouldn’t know any peace for the rest of his life.
“Thank you for clarifying, But I should be apologising…” You began hesitantly, did he want you to just move on and say nothing? Still, you’re not that person anymore. “I was way out of line to say all that stuff about you, which wasn’t true at all. You worked hard to get where you are and I’m happy for you, if anyone deserves the world it’s you.” 
While he processes your words with his mouth ajar, you push the Tim Tams to his side of the table. His eyes light up and he rips into them immediately, dunking one into his warm coffee and although you find it semi-revolting, you smile.
You spend the next half hour sharing the biscuits and stories of wardrobe mishaps and what you’ve both been up to in the last few years. It doesn’t take long before you feel comfortable in his presence, not fully but more than you thought possible after all that went down.
Chan ends up finishing the packet and relaxes into his chair with a content sigh, you can’t help but smile at the sight. It quickly fades when you spot paparazzi in heards outside the cafe.
“They found us, totally not like our companies tipped them off.” Chan comments, turning back to you after squinting at them for a bit.
“Quick, act surprised.” You order, as you start making over-exaggerated expressions to the cameras.
The flashing of cameras is nothing new to either of you at this point and you head upstairs to the book section, scanning from classics, science fiction and biographies of people you’d never heard of. Chan spots a section of books with their covers hidden under wrapping and the descriptions written in black ink. You decide on a poetry book from the 1700s with a little sun drawn on the brown paper, Chan picks a Sci-Fi thriller and you shake your head knowingly.
Afterwards, Chan walks you home through the playground near your tiny apartment and makes small talk about music, he picks your brain about melodies and what your favourite synth sounds are. It’s hard to believe less than a month ago you wanted to rip his head off. 
“Let’s sit for a bit.” Chan says, situating himself on a swing.
It doesn’t take you long to join him on the swing to his right, if there’s nothing worse than one idiot on a swing it’s two idiots on swings. Instead of chatting you focus on seeing how high up you can go and Chan watches, shaking his head in embarrassment.
“You’re an actual child.” He teases, grabbing a hold of the rope to slow you down. 
“Hey, no fair.” You huff, grounding yourself by using your feet, turning to him with a pout.
He rolls his eyes and ruffles your hair just like he used to, and embarrassingly it makes you feel happy. Just like you used to back when you first met in Sydney and he was all you knew. 
Stop thinking about the past, you say mentally, what’ll It change?
To distract yourself you decide it’s time to go somewhere else, and get up with the intent of forgetting whatever feelings your brain is fabricating. You can hear footsteps behind you and sigh, he’s not letting you go that easy.
“Where are you going?” Chan calls out, finally catching up to you.
“A bar, I assumed you were still on that drinking ban.” You say feigning your intentions of ditching him for your own benefit.
“That ended two years ago,” He replies with a small smile, “What bar exactly?”
“You’ll see.” 
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“Y/N….you said a bar, this is a club.” Chan says, stating the obvious. 
It’s a small place just on the outskirts of the bustling city, illuminated by purple and blue with none of the  ridiculous cocktail names, dry humping and reek of Victoria’s Secret perfume you became accustomed to in Seoul. 
“Same difference,” You reply with a shrug, sitting down at an empty velvet sofa. “Wanna be a dear and get us some drinks?”
Chan shakes his head with his usual grin and heads to the counter, you can’t help but notice how buff he’s gotten in the last few years. You look away when he takes the drinks off the counter and focus on the fabric of your ripped jeans instead, fiddling with the loose strings.
“A rum and coke for you and a black russian for me.” He announces, sitting down on the other end of the couch. 
“Perfect choice.” You say thankfully, raising the glass to your lips and taking several gulps.
The blond raises an eyebrow, sipping at his caffeinated cocktail at a more leisurely pace, soon one drink becomes four and a round of shots later you can gladly say any warm fuzzy feelings have been replaced with drunk fuzzy feelings. Chan, who's only had two drinks laughs at your predicament as the bartender cuts you off for the night.
“Chris, order another round!” You instructed giddily, clinging onto his arm.
“Yeah, and carry you home drunk? I don’t think so.” He retorts, finishing his soju.
You grumble incoherencies under your breath, leaning into him and shutting your eyes. He inquisitively still smells the same and carries the same soothing aura that everyone seemed to pick up on. He hums to the song playing and you can feel his chest vibrate when he messes up on a lyric and laughs. The alcohol makes everything seem blurred around the edges and rose-tinged, he puts his arm around you and it all feels right.
“Y/N, Y’Alright?” 
“Yeah, you?” You slur, smiling into his neck, you can feel him chuckle when your eyelashes tickle his skin.
Everything becomes hazy after that, you hardly remember Chan helping you into the back of a taxi or guiding you to your front door. He searches your bag for the front door key and then your jacket, you giggle drunkenly, making the corners of his eyes crinkle.
“Back pocket,” You state with an amused grin.
Chan reaches down into the back pocket of your jeans and the contact makes your cheeks redden and you inhale deeply. He doesn’t seem to notice and clasps onto the key, before he takes the key out you place your hand around his wrist and hold it there. He looks at you with an uncertain glance, his eyes searching yours for confirmation of some sort, arching into his touch gives him the clarification he needs and he presses his lips to yours in a hungry, intrusive kiss. 
You bring your hands up to his hair and tug on it lightly, as if to bring him even closer if possible. Chan groans into your mouth at the feeling and you take advantage of the moment and control the kiss while he eagerly follows, one hand firmly squeezing your ass while and starts to grind against you. The only sounds you hear are his ragged breathing and the quiet whimper that leaves him when you pull apart to nip at his jaw.
“Y/N,” He pleads, rutting against your thigh with desperation. You answer his pleas, allowing him between your thighs, he kisses your ear appreciatively and helps you up onto the low metal shelf by your doorway for better access grind against your sex.
He whines profanities into your neck when you meet his ruts in a more languid pace, it only makes him more desperate for you. You sigh in pleasure at the sight, although your vision is hazy his swollen lips and furrowed brows are as clear as day. You can tell how close he is by how unsteady his breathing is, he cries out your name repeatedly and you coo at him.
“Pathetic, I haven’t even wrapped my hand around your cock and you’re ready to blow your load.” You mock, pretending you aren’t at the edge yourself.
“Ah, shit..!” He bellows, hot breath hitting your neck. “I’m gonna cum.”
You watch his mouth fall agape as he finally reaches his peak, his blonde hair is plastered against his face and his skin has a sheen that suits him well. Chan gasps as you start up again, the overstimulation making him writhe, he slips one hand down the front of your jeans, which surprises you because you still feel secure being held up with just one arm. You rut against his hand, he knows exactly where to touch and your moans only spur him on until you finally reach your own climax, biting down on his shoulder when you do.
Nothing is said while you both collect yourselves, Chan drops you down and presses his forehead to yours while he catches his breath. The alcohol starts to wear off you and fully realise what’s happened and take your keys out of your back pocket, your hands shake and it takes you a while to get the key in and twist it.
“Y/N?” He calls out, sounding helpless. 
“I’m sorry, Chris.” 
Ignoring the downcast expression on his face you go inside, looking at him once more and telling him you’re sorry again and that he should leave. When you slam the door, he calls out for you to open it again, fifteen minutes later he leaves and you’re in the shower crying. You had just done to Mijoo what had been your biggest fear, but she would have never done that to you.
She was a good person and you were disgusting with no morals.
How the fuck had it all happened so fast? Meeting Chris again, loathing him, fake dating him, feeling emotions for him and now practically fucking him? Nothing had really changed, even before the breakup it had always been you crawling back to him and him feeling as if gravity was pulling you two back together just to tear you away again. ‘Cruel fate’ he called it, you call it nonsense to make him feel better.
Whatever it was, it needed to stop or finally be faced.
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It’s just after 12pm the next day when you wake up, everything hurts and you try to piece together what little you remember before that thing with Chris. You groan into the palms of your hands and try to think of a solution, you couldn’t ignore or avoid him, at least not forever. Why did you ever agree to fake a relationship anyways? If only you could turn back time and tell your CEO and the entire JYP entourage to get fucked.
A buzzing under your pillow snaps you back to your senses, realising it’s your phone you slide your thumb across the screen to accept the call. 
“Hello?”  You ask in a hoarse tone.
“Check literally any news outlet.” A familiar voice says in a monotone voice.
“Iris, Should I be worried?”
Iris doesn’t reply and you decide to check Twitter, upon opening it you’re bombarded with notifications that all lead back to a photo of you and Chan making out. The picture has clearly been scanned to make the quality better, it’s grainy but even you can see how easy it is to tell who is in the photo. Dread fills your body at the thought of what management would say, this could compromise all of your hard work.
“I thought you were done with him,” Iris sighs, “God, Y/N... it took you years to get over him, and he has a real relationship.”
“I know, I’m sorry.” You reply quietly, ignoring the sting of her words.
“I love you, okay? But I’m so worried you’ll end up hurt again.” She admits, you can hear her tapping her nails against wood, a nervous habit. “Just be careful, I’ll call you later.”
As the call ends you sigh with a smile, typical Iris trying to show she cares while remaining unfiltered. You quickly realise there's no point in hiding from any of this and get ready for what you’re sure will be an eventful day. 
When you arrive at the company building you’re quick to sneak past the secretary and into San’s office, he greets you with a suggestive look.
“You’re so lucky the apartment’s security spotted and escorted them out.” San remarks, tongue pressing against his cheek.
“I know, don’t worry Iris got to the lecture first.” You retort, pinching the bridge of your nose once you sit down on his uncomfortable sofa, damn hangovers.
San pulls open a drawer and passes you a bottle of aspirin, which falls to the floor thanks to your slightly altered (and loss of ) coordination. You mumble words of gratitude and dry swallow two.
“So how mad is everyone?” You ask meekly, not meeting his eyes.
“Well, no one really is. It got you more buzz and sales but there is a broken-hearted girl to think about.”
Shit, Mijoo.
You get up in a flash and take San’s unopened energy drink with you, as you exit his office you hear him yelling at you.
“Why does your apartment have shelves at the front door anyways?!”
It’s when you get outside and the fresh air hits that you realise you have no idea what to do. Woolim is a twenty minute walk at best, you have no idea if Mijoo will even be there but it’s worth a shot. On the way you stop to get two cans of iced coffee and hope she’s still feeling kind after what you pulled last night.
The Woolim building is finally in sight and you push the door open and are stunned to see Mijoo on the other side. Her eyes are glassy and swollen and she isn’t giving off her usual bright aura, but still she smiles at you.
“Hey, trying to hit me?” She jokes with a wry laugh.
“Mijoo...can we talk?” 
“Um…” She looks anywhere but your eyes. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Y/N.”
“Seungah, five minutes is all I need. Then if you want I’ll never talk again.” You plead, she sighs but accepts, turning back and leading you to the private back ‘garden’ which is just concrete and a bench.
“Thank you.” You say, bowing your head a little. She laughs and takes a coffee out of the plastic bag when you sit down.
“Formalities aren’t needed between us, what do you want?”
Her bluntness catches you off guard, up close you can see mascara has seeped around her eye bags and dried up. She definitely knew what had happened but wanted to hear it from you, which petrifies you. How are you supposed to casually say the truth and not get punched in the face?
“I know you saw the picture but you need to hear it from me,” You begin, licking your lips. “I kissed Chan, he didn’t return my feelings and he’s probably going to try to take half the blame.”
Mijoo’s facial expression doesn’t change and she takes a sip of coffee, folding her lips into a thin line after she swallows the bitter liquid. 
“I don’t think he ever got over you.” She admits in a downcast tone. “When we started dating he told me he’d always love you a little bit, I just didn’t think you'd come back for him.”
“I didn’t come back for him,” You clarify, “I had no intentions of...any of this. I’m really sorry and I won’t come between you two again. It’s strictly business from now on, you have my word.”
“Why are you so keen on keeping us together?” She says, stunned.
“I don’t want to be the reason anyone is hurt.” 
“What about you then? Won’t this hurt you?”
You don’t reply, instead returning the same kind smile she had given you. Of course it’ll hurt you, but you can’t bear the weight of hurting anyone the way you did, even Chris. For so long it was all you wanted, for him to feel the pain you did that night in his car.
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A week passes by in a flash, between schedules and training you haven’t had any time to dwell on Chan which is nice for once. San and Iris make sure to keep you up to date on what he’s been up to since you shooed him away like a bad dog.
Luckily fake media reports of you two being spotted have been enough to keep the ‘break up’ rumours at bay for now. Eventually you will have to face him, but if Mijoo’s Instagram story is any indication, it’s a happy one of them and their daily coffee trips. Meanwhile all your days are spent in the dance studio, trying to perfect your end of year performance.
Your newest track took two weeks alone to record, it was yet again a song you hadn’t intended on releasing. The lyrics were about being drunk, horny and sad which are emotions you felt most days. The choreography was the most challenging part, primarily because you weren’t much of a dancer to begin with. 
“Perfect!” Your teacher, Hyolyn praises with a satisfied smile.
You collapse on the floor and try to catch your breath, taking a second to gulp down water. Although it’s  hard work, it was extremely rewarding. According to San, you’re predicted to win two awards and nominated for four which was insane considering last year you were #9 on ‘Top 10 least watched debuts’. 
“How close am I to acing this?”You ask, completely drained.
“I’d give it a week.” Hyolyn replies after taking a second to evaluate you.
Groaning, you lie down on the hardwood floors and shut your eyes. The performance was in nine days, giving you little to no time to rest. Iris also had you booked for three days of practicing your makeup for the show, which included intricate and trendy tattoo art all over your arms and littered over any other revealed areas, for hair you would be wearing a wig, lighter than your own hair but similar to how it looked in a recent magazine spread. 
It was all down to you to ace this performance, and you only had one shot.
“Y/N? Y/N L/N!” 
San’s voice snaps you back to your senses, he guides you up from the floor and gives you a once-over and decides you look fine. Then, without a word, drags you down through the busy city and into a quaint cafe, filled with greenery and flowers galore. You spot Wooyoung’s blonde hair behind the counter and smile knowingly, of course.
“Am I here to third wheel?” You joke, elbowing his ribs.
“Shut up, We’re here for you to experience a delectable latte topped with chocolate art and if you’re good I’ll buy you a bean bun.” 
You sit down on an empty chair without a word, smiling up at him. There is nothing you wouldn’t do for a fresh bean bun, especially if it’s free. San goes up to the counter, his laugh echoes around the small area when Wooyoung makes a little joke involving word play. Minutes later, a steamy cup of coffee is in front of you with a cute little bunny made of white liquid and you can’t help but look down in amazement.
“Good, right?” Wooyoung beams, full of well-deserved confidence.
“Amazing,” You gush, taking a sip reluctantly, not wanting to ruin the illustration. 
Wooyoung takes a bow and walks back to the counter, brewing up another order in no time, San watches intently resting his chin in the palm of his hand. What an idiot, you think, although you’re slightly envious no one looks at you that way. 
Several more cups and bean buns later, you leave the lovebirds to return home for some well needed rest. Today is the only actual real chance of resting up before the real work begins, even the thought makes your body ache. But all that fades away when you see a familiar face at your door, Chan.
“Chan?” You say bewildered, “Why are you here?”
“Can we talk?” He asks, meeting your eyes for a brief second before looking away again.
“Okay.”
Five minutes later he’s sitting across the coffee table, stirring a cup of instant coffee and not saying a word. What is there to say? You were both drunk exes longing to relive old times, Yes you would always love him but he wasn’t yours anymore, he hadn’t been for years.
You weren’t the same person, the cheap electric guitar you’d adored has spun into a customised Fender, his dark curls had been swapped for blonde locks that hung across his face. You had loved and lost him, found him and begun the cycle again.
“Why did you try to lie to Seungah?” 
“She’s your girlfriend, you clearly care about her and I didn’t want you to lose that because of a stupid mistake.” You say, even though it was no mistake on your behalf.
Chan laughs dryly in response, eyes becoming unreadable and dark.
“You didn’t want me to fuck you that night?” 
Before you can reply he's standing up, walking towards you and clearly loving that in your seated position he towers over you. He notices your thighs are shut as much as they can be and coos. 
“Is that all it takes, huh?” He says, mocking your tone from that night. “As much as you love pushing me around and belittling me, you love to be put in your place don’t you?”
A strained sound leaves your throat and you try to push it away, the feeling of wanting him to be in control, to be vulnerable for him. It’s a feeling you’ve only felt a handful of times and always with him. You knew he was just frustrated and feeling rejected, if anything did happen you’d wake up alone to a regretful voicemail.
“Don’t do something you’ll regret, I would call you dumb but that would turn you on.” You finally retort, standing up to fully enjoy the flush of humiliation come over his face.
“Know your place.”  
“Kiss me,” He pleads, soft eyes full of stars. “Just once more.”
You swallow thickly, once more is all he’s asking for. Hesitating for a second, you raise your arms and gently take his face into your hands, thumbing over his jaw the way he likes and press your lips against his. The kiss is firm and chaste, much unlike the last one that was filled with hunger and urgency, this...feels final. Neither of you pull away, Chan deepening the kiss more and settling on wrapping his arms around you over his oxygen levels. 
You feel tears starting to pool within your closed eyes and it burns, finally pulling away when it all becomes too much. His warm disposition is so apparent in his teary eyes and it hurts more than ever, you drop your hands from his face and he takes them into his own, a bittersweet feeling coming to the surface.
“Goodbye again, Y/N.” Chan says with a smile, letting go your hands and heading towards the door.
“Goodbye, Chris.” You reply in a faltering tone, turning away as he shuts the door behind him. 
You’re left sobbing on the linoleum floors of your apartment, ignoring various buzzes from your phone hours later when you finally calm down enough to sit on the couch and numbly stare at the flickering TV. Then it comes up on a pop music channel, your face and his with the headline: Bang Chan and Y/N announce break up. 
159 notes · View notes
moralesispunk · 4 years ago
Text
First Dates
Marcus Moreno x Reader
Summary - You and Marcus finally go on your first date together
No warnings
This is the second part of my Marcus fic
Master list / Part 1 here < / part 3 here >
On the drive home from your morning with Marcus, you couldn’t stop the smile that had taken over your face. While you had been enjoying spending time with him casually, his company sweetening your caramel latte mornings, you were excited to go on an official date with him.
You were a bit nervous over the fact you had already met Missy, knowing that he had avoided introducing or even telling Missy about any of his dates since he started dating again. However, by the sounds of things he had mentioned you to her before and, well, that made your whole chest warm.
While you knew that you were enjoying your time with Marcus more than just as new friends you weren't thinking that he was feeling the same. He was handsome and kind and you kept putting the spark you thought you felt down to his politeness. The fact that it wasn’t a one-sided feeling made you happier than you could believe.
Once you arrived home you decided to spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning your apartment before making dinner. As you looked out all of the ingredients you would need you heard your phone ringing from the kitchen counter. You looked over in enough time to see the screen flashing with an unknown number but the call ended before you could reach for it. Two seconds later a text flashed through from the same number:
It’s Marcus - from the coffee shop!
You smiled, swiping across to phone him back. He answered before the end of the first ring.
“Hi,” his voice came through, a litter shyer than you had heard it before.
“Hello, Marcus from the coffee shop,” you sang back.
His laugh came through the speaker, a little altered but as beautiful as always.
“I thought you might not answer a call from an unknown number.”
“Good thinking. So, did you and Missy get home okay then?”
“Safe and sound,” he replied and you could hear the smile in his voice, “she’s in watching TV and I’m just making some dinner. What are you doing?”
“Making some dinner too, some spicy chicken pasta I think. What’s on the menu at the- I just realised I don’t know your last name!”
Your laughter mixed together over the speakers, laughing at the fact that while you had shared a lot with each other over this past month your last names hadn’t been on that list.
This moment meant more to Marcus than you had known. While he told you about his work and you said you had heard of the Heroics but didn't know much about them, the fact you didn't know his last name meant you hadn't looked him up to read whatever the news had put out about him over the years.
“Moreno, and yours?”
You gave him your last name before going on.
“Well, whats on the menu at the Moreno household tonight then?”
“Spaghetti and meatballs, they’re Missy’s favourite.”
“I do like spaghetti and meatballs, good choice Missy.”
“Maybe I can make them for you some time,” his flirty smile evident from his deep voice ringing through the phone.
“That sounds even better.”
The both of you spent the rest of the time you made dinner on the phone. You told him that you had the Netflix show he told you about lined up to watch while eating dinner and laughed at the sound of pots and pans clattering together followed with him cursing under his breath but still loud enough for you to hear. 
Marcus finished making dinner first and you hear the tail-end of him shouting for Missy.
“So, you’ll let me know how you like the show?” his voice back to sounding shy again.
“Of course, enjoy dinner Marcus.”
“You too,” he replied, your name sounding soft as it comes from his lips.
As soon as you finish making dinner, plating enough for tonight and putting the rest in a leftover tub, you sit down to watch the show Marcus had told you about. It was a murder mystery show, based on another book of the same author he had been reading when you first met.
Once the first episode finished you clicked on the next, knowing that you would probably finish this show tonight. It was amazing and you could imagine Marcus as he watched it, guessing along with the detectives and getting excited when he got the twist before anyone on the show, the same way he must have done while reading his book from all the notes he left behind. You decided to send him a text.
You: I’m loving this! On to the next episode already.
Marcus: I knew you would love it! Do you have any guesses yet?
You text one another back and forth for the rest of the night and you make your way through the show like you thought. Marcus decides to join you in watching the last episode, wanting to watch at the same time as you. You phone him as soon as you finish, realising it was left on a cliffhanger.
“They can’t end it like that!”
Marcus laughs at you reaction, hearing your voice echo through before his finger had even lifted from the answer button.
“It’s not funny! Are they making another series?”
“I think so, I’ve heard it’s coming out in a few months,” he replies, still laughing.
“Thank God,” you sigh.
“So, you really liked it then?”
“I really did. Thank you for telling me about it.”
“It’s no problem, I’m glad you liked it,” he said.
“Well, it is getting late now and I think I’m going to head to bed but I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”
“I would like that. Talk to you tomorrow. Sweet dreams.”
You went to bed smiling at the thought of Marcus that night. You were falling for a man who you had only met a few times before and technically hadn’t been on even a first date with yet. It scared you but something in you told you to give in to the fall.
---------
The next day you woke to a good morning text from Marcus, telling you that him and Missy were going to his mums for the day and to have a good day.
You went about your Sunday as normal, running errands with a little extra skip in your step. As you put your shopping in your car and sat in the drivers seat, your phone flashed with Marcus’s name.
“Hello!” you answered.
“Hi, how are you today?” he asked.
“I’m good, just running errands. Hows your day at your mums?”
“Good, I mean she has me and Missy working hard in the kitchen,”  he laughs, “I was actually phoning to see if you’re free on Saturday for dinner? Missy is going to stay at my mums that night.”
“I am indeed, that sounds lovely Marcus.”
“Great, I’m looking forward to it! I’ve got to go before head chef notices I’ve went missing but I’ll talk to you later?”
“Talk to you later, Marcus.”
The rest of the week goes in quickly and you Marcus talk every day. You spend some nights talking on the phone for hours after Missy went to bed or in days you were busy you both managed even just a quick text on your breaks from work. 
Marcus: The one day I had planned to finish work early and I just a pile of paperwork the height of me put on my desk
You: Just sneak out, you're the leader of the Heroics after all!
You: Should I have pizza or pasta for dinner?
Marcus: Pasta! Definitely pasta.
By the time Saturday came, you weren’t nervous but rather excited to see Marcus again. He had told you that would pick you up at 7 and had booked a table at his favourite Italians.
You spent the day relaxing and looking forward to it, looking out some clothes you felt good in but nothing too fancy. You enjoyed taking the time to do your hair and make up just as you liked it, having a spare 15 minutes to sit and wait before he should be arriving. In those 15 minutes the butterflies finally came. You were going on a date with a man who you had been slowly falling for over a month before quickly hitting the ground over this past week.
Your thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door, answering it to find Marcus standing at the other side. He looked as handsome as ever, sporting something a little smarter than you had seen before with a nice shirt and trousers. His hair was combed back too but the same glasses perched on his nose. His bright smile was on his face as usual, looking a little shyer now though.
“Hi, I got you these,” he said, handing over the most beautiful flowers you think you’ve ever seen.
“Oh Marcus, they’re stunning. Have I got time to put them in some water before we leave?” you asked and he nodded.
You invited him inside, walking straight to the kitchen to fill up a vase for the flowers.
“You have a lovely place,” Marcus said, smiling at some of the photos and art you had hanging up on the wall. He guessed who was who in the photos from what you had told him about your family before, the tall man you had your arm slung around at a barbecue who looked a lot like you must have been your younger brother and the older couple you were standing next to at what looked like a wedding your parents.
“Thank you, its just rented so can’t do too much to it but I think I’ve managed to make it feel enough like home for now,” you voice called out to the hall.
You fixed the flowers in the vase, placing it on the kitchen table. You didn’t notice but Marcus had moved to standing against the doorway, watching as you did so. You looked beautiful as you carefully fixed the flowers in the vase, carefully lifting one to smell it before smiling and putting it back in its place.
“Ready?” you asked, turning to smile at him.
“Ready,” he said back, trying not to fluster under your gaze.
He walked out, leading you out to his car, opening the door and waiting till you had got in to shut it before walking around to the drivers side.
The drive there was comfortable, the quiet radio filling what few silences you shared. He told you about the restaurant, a small family run Italians he stumbled across one day that made the best home-made pasta. It wasn’t too far from where you stayed and when you arrived Marcus told you to wait, letting him get out to open up your door for you.
It was such a simple gesture but one you couldn’t remember having been done for you before. He held your hand as you got out the car, placing his hand on your lower back as you walked to the restaurant. 
It looked small and cosy, the place lit by few lights but a lot of candles. The smell of pasta and sauce and wine filled your senses as Marcus opened the door for you, giving his name to the man at the front. They took you over to a table near the back, a cosy booth that meant you were sitting close to one another.
“The penne arrabbiata is amazing here,” Marcus said as you opened up the menus.
“It does sound good, what are you getting?”
You read through the menus together before ordering your food and drinks. Just as the young waiter walks off an older man comes over, dressed similarly but a bit different to the rest of the staff.
“Mr Moreno,” the mans voice booms as he leans to shake Marcus’s hand.
“Peter. I told you, Marcus is fine,” he replies as he shakes the mans hand back
“And who is this lovely lady, not your usual companion tonight,” the man turns to smile at you.
You look back at Marcus, half jokingly raising your eyebrow, before turning back to the man. Marcus gives him your name, letting the man know you're on a date as what must be the manager smiles and shakes your hand back before leaving you to your night.
“He meant Missy, by the way. We usually come here for lunch when we’re in the mood for pasta, she likes that the kids menu is the same as the adults just smaller portions. Just in case you thought he meant-,”
“It’s okay, Marcus,” you laugh.
You spend the rest of the night learning even more about each other than you already had. It was strange, for it being your first date you already knew so much about one another. 
At the end of the night, Marcus came back from the toilet, lifting your jacket to help you into it.
“We need to pay,” you said as you brought your arms into the sleeves.
“Already sorted it,” Marcus said back as he put his own jacket on, giving you a cheeky smile.
“Will you ever let me pay for something?” you teased back.
“Maybe one day.”
You walked back to the car, Marcus helping you in once again, before driving back to your home.
“I had a lovely night, Marcus. I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard,” you said, turning to face him.
His face was lit by the street lights casting a flashing orange hue over his face. His eyes sparkled every time the light touched them. He had a soft smile on his face as he turned to face you at the red light.
“Me either. I really enjoy spending time with you. I feel like I’ve known you forever,” he said back, reaching to lift your hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss against the back.
His lips were soft and warm as they pressed gently into the back of your hand, his eyes staring into yours as he did so. It felt like this one simple moment lasted forever, your stomach doing flip after flip. You couldn’t help the blush that creeped onto your face, visible even in the dark night. As the light turned green, Marcus turned to face the road now but held your hand in his. You looked over his every feature, from his hair to his nose to the stubble that covered his jaw.
He pulled up outside your home with you still admiring him.
“Can I walk you in?” he asked, undoing his seatbelt as you nodded.
You both walked towards your door, his hands in his pockets and you playing with your hands.
“So, I really did have a wonderful night Marcus,” you said.
“So did I. Can we do this again?”
“I would definitely like that,” you replied.
A silence fell over you both for moment, looking anywhere but one another’s eyes. When you finally looked up your eyes met his. They quickly darted down to your lips before looking back up again. Feeling braver than you usually would, you took a step forward so there was little space between your bodies now.
You reached up, placing your hand on the side of his cheek. His eyes closed for a moment, leaning into your hand, before he lifted his hands to cup your face. You both leaned in at the same time, your lips brushing over one another slightly before he finally leaned in to kiss you properly.
It was gentle and soft. Your mouths moved in time with one another, no rushing as you enjoyed each other in this moment. Your hand left his cheek and moved to hold gently onto his arm. When you finally broke apart, a little breathless and giddy, neither of you moved further apart.
You stayed for a moment, your hand resting on his arm and his hands gently holding your face. He leaned down and gave you a final soft kiss before stepping back a little.
“Wow,” he whispered, a small laugh hidden in the word.
“Yeah,” you whispered back.
“So, I’ll give you a call?” he said, placing his hands back in his pockets.
You nodded, “let me know when you get home safe?”
He gave you a smile, waiting until you unlocked the door to head in before turning back to his car. As you walked in to your place you turned just in time to catch Marcus skip a little as he hopped of the curb to walk round to the drivers side. You waited by the door, both waving at one another as he headed off.
Neither of you were falling anymore. You had both fallen, hard.
----------
Tags: @heythere-mel
122 notes · View notes
keilemlucent · 4 years ago
Text
lavender latte: iii
(T (for now!))
hawks | takami keigo x reader
ao3
chapter 1   ||   chapter 2   ||   chapter 4
word count: 4.2k
a cheeky drink and some mutual sabotage. 
warnings: oh no, they say s*x, fluff, pining, the usual, and a wittle angst on the side, reader smokes cigs bc its a salem trademarked fic thing
enjoy folks ;^) the whole of this piece is gonna be about? ten chapters. so. hold on tight!!!
beta read by @keiqos, heart EYES
||||||||||||||||||||||||
“Let that sit for a second or you’ll burn yourself—”
“Don’t need to tell me twice, angel. I know the drill.” Hawks replied with a wink.
You weren’t ever going to get tired of that.
You really expected Hawks to disappear out of your life. You really, truly expected him to run off for good. How many bigger, better, and more important things did he have to do? Even if you managed to speak to him and regard him like any other customer (or, perhaps acquaintance, and more recently, friend — ), your mind swam with insecurities that only seemed to get worse over time.
You were waiting for the metaphorical thread to snap.
You waited for the day Hawks simply would stop texting you flirty bullshit on a somewhat regular basis.
But, holy fuck, the dude didn’t.
 You couldn’t think of why. You weren’t complaining about the attention, but you also were terrified of getting too used to it. Hawks was a part... bird (?) right? He was flighty by nature.
Despite this, Hawks continued to not only text you but also stopped by the shop fairly frequently for his special, quirk-fueled beverage fix. Politely, he’d text you the day before he planned to make an appearance to check and see if you were working, and then show up the next day like it was nothing. 
He usually wouldn’t stay for long; the hero was ungodly busy and always on the move. But, he always took the time to flirt and get a full description of his drink before dashing out to save the world once more. 
Most days he visited were his ‘hero work’ days. He’d appear in his costume, done up and dashing for a sip and a quick talk before disappearing once more into the skies. Every once in a while, Hawks had an ‘office’ day where he’d be confined to his agency to catch up on his insane backlog of paperwork. On these occasions, Hawks would talk (stall) at the tea shop for as long as possible. You talked and joked with him as long as he would let you. Sure, it put you behind on work, but no one at the shop was going to tell you off for fraternizing with the number two hero (whose repeated presence was drawing more customers anyways). You both reveled in each other's attention, drinking in the other’s slowly softening smiles and quick wit. 
 On this day, Keigo’s wings were the shittiest they had been in a while. Plucked and almost barren with how much he’d been working lately. Total exhaustion seemed like it was constantly on the horizon, tugging as his eyelids and weighing down his chest each morning.
It was easier to get out of bed when he got to think about seeing you.
Sure, your drinks were a perk. Very much so. He was getting so used to the artisan beverages you crafted that the taste of his normal canned coffee was starting to bother him. 
But, what his real thrill in visiting the tea shop was that he got to see you, and that made his heart pound. 
He sat across from you, looking down into your newest drink. It swirled between dark and milky, a heady, rich aroma billowing up with the steam it produced. He had requested something ‘surprising, new, and horribly caffeinated’ as deep fatigue was the worst villain he’d likely see that day. You had just nodded, cheekily starting to prepare his drink with a bounce in your step, pupils going wide. 
“I feel like you’re gonna start running out of ideas one of these days,” Keigo laughed, adjusting himself on his stool, gloves and jacket removed. He almost looked like a normal patron.
 You grinned to yourself, idly cleaning around you as you often did, “I dunno, I’ve got a lot.”
Hawks raised an eyebrow, “Tell me about them.”
“Nope, top-secret,” You shook your head, digging into your apron to flash him the small notepad you carried on you.
Scrawled in nasty handwriting, you carried your many ‘feeling’ ideas around with you. Different concepts and abstractions all scribbled down, a nice long list to look back on whenever Hawks would make his appearances and his own vague requests. Your backlog of ideas made it easy to find something more than suitable to make for him.
When Hawks saw your notepad his eyes widened, tilting his head and a devious smirk coming to his lips.
Your expression fell, and you stuffed the papers back into your pocket, hiding your hot face by idly cleaning some more. 
You left yourself very open for teasing, it seemed.
(Not that you or Keigo minded.)
“You keep a little list of all of your ideas! I’m beyond flattered,” Hawks ran a hand through his hair, flashing a cocky smile for you. 
“I have to stay prepared, can’t be disappointing my celebrity sugar daddy,” You winked as Hawks’s eyes went wide, half-hearing a choke get caught in his throat. (You loved it when you were able to get him visibly flustered. What a treat.) You nodded down to the drink, “Should be good to try now.” 
 Keigo really liked spending time with you. He knew it was always fleeting and short and consistently he wanted to find reasons to stay with you at the tea shop counter for longer and longer. Your quips and chides continued to get quicker and more clever and he was having an increasingly difficult time keeping his cool around you. Most of the time he smoothed himself easily, not showing a trace other than that which he neurologically couldn’t control. 
But sometimes, you were bold enough and ballsy enough to get him to gag on his literal words and he was positive that you were the only person to ever have him break composure in such a way. 
He covered his weakened poise by sipping the new drink, mindfully letting the taste wash over his tongue.
Increasingly, you’d been changing up the so-called ‘vibe’ of your beverages. It seemed like each time Keigo dropped in, you had something new and vibrant to show him. 
This drink was particularly different.
The taste was rich, dark, and smooth, rolling into the back of his throat and down his spine. It coated his insides with a warm, low heat. Peeking through were sweet, light accents, warm but almost... teasing?
His dick twitched.
 Hawks’s mouth dropped open, any and all professional veneers dropped as you just beamed so fucking smugly at him. 
“What do you think?” You leaned a bit forward, bouncing on your toes with excitement.
“Is... Is this supposed to taste like sex?” Hawks asked, taking another mouthful to confirm. Based on the way his eyes briefly shut and some of the tension rolled from his shoulders, he thoroughly confirmed it.
“Technically, it’s crafted based on like... a late-night rendezvous. I left it fairly up to interpretation beyond that. The rest is on you.” You shrugged, still bouncing as Hawks took another chug.
“What the fuck, (Y/N),” Pleasant shock colored his features, but clear amusement stretched across his lips as he continued to drink. 
“You wanted something surprising and horribly caffeinated. That’s a dark chocolate mocha with two extra shots, our in-house raspberry and rhubarb syrup, a bit of white chocolate syrup, and a few of my add-ins as well. It’s pretty different from what I’ve made you before,” You blinked at him, stomach twisting as his expression remained unguarded. “I... I probably should’ve asked before giving you a drink that definitely could’ve been taken as sex. That’s my bad. I can remake you something else if you’d like?”
 Keigo shook himself from his stupor, shaking his head and quickly regaining his composure. He took another sip to emphasize his words, “No, nope. It’s okay. Definitely okay. The drink is really good. I’m just now wondering something.”
“And, what’s that?” You asked, reaching behind the counter to grab your own iced beverage.
“Can your quirk be used to manifest bad feelings and concepts, just like good ones?” Keigo asked. Normally, he’d add more nuance, but he was getting impatient and sloppy around you. He’d have to keep that in check.
Especially with the way your shoulders drew up and tensed. You turned a bit away from him, any and all potential for eye contact torn away.
He hit a nerve.
“The type of abstract feeling doesn’t matter, I can emulate it,” You replied, pulling at your nails. Keigo had long picked up that it was one of your habits when your anxiety spiked. 
He dropped it, but didn’t forget. There were public files on quirks. Maybe he’d look into it. Maybe. It felt a bit invasive, but considering plenty of that data was freely accessible, it hardly was an invasion of privacy, right? 
(Except for the fact that it obviously made you very uncomfortable to discuss the more unsavory potentials of your quirk.) 
(He just wouldn’t tell you.)  
Keigo switched topics, easily rolling away from the topic, “Any particular... event that inspired this one?” 
You pressed your hands into the counter, leaning over it to glare at him, “Are you referring to something with that comment, Hawks?”
He shuddered when you said his name, but you don’t notice. 
“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not,” Keigo shrugged easily, going for another sip.
 The drink was inspired by the several day cinematic, wine-bender you went on a week or two prior. An entire weekend with just you, your cats, three entire bottles of wine, and a backlog of movies to catch up on. You tried to consume lots of different types of media, but what had been catching your eye lately had been anything with gushy romance for fairly obvious reasons.
(There was an embarrassing amount of ideas for drinks that were a bit too romantic to properly indulge with your quirk. You’d never tested the limits of how certain feelings could manifest, and you weren’t quite ready to face the reality where you could make people nut from caffeinated milk.)
“It is good though, the drink,” Hawks smacked his lips together as if it would make his coming analysis more credible. “It definitely does taste like sex, but more so complicated. Darker.”
“Deeper.” You smiled. “Your palette is getting more refined. I’m proud.”
“Are you saying it was bad to begin with?” Hawks pouted, flashing you falsely weepy eyes and a puffed out lip.
You rolled your eyes, “Yes, you yourself have admitted this. You drink canned coffee still, so I can’t even call your taste good.”
Hawks gasped, putting a hand to his chest, “I’m hurt, truly wounded.”
“I’m sure you are, tailfeathers.”
“I really thought I had reliably moved up to ‘birdboy’, angel.”
You snorted, covering your mouth with your hand, “Just goes to show how quickly the tables turn, tailfeathers.”
Hawks’s pager suddenly chimed, a familiar sign. He took a quick look at it and sighed, moving to re-robe. You were surprised by the speed at which he did so, and the way he became tense so quickly. 
It made you realize that he was always tense.
(Unless he was talking to you.)
“I thought today was an office day?” You asked, a bit of a disappointment clouding your voice.
Hawks just gave a small smile, fully plastering back on his heroic facade, “Duty calls. Lots happening lately.”
He flicked his visor back over his eyes, slid you your normalized wad of cash, and whisked himself out the door, immediately taking to the skies from the streets.
He’s in a bit of a hurry.
He... didn’t even say goodbye. 
Wonder what’s happening?
 Truthfully, Keigo was a bit startled by the notice on his pager. The whole reason he’d started patrolling the particular neighborhood the tea shop was in was because there was word of a villain syndicate working nearby. It hardly seemed right for the neighborhood, but Keigo knew that villains hid anywhere. Whatever they were planning was still relatively shrouded, but it was clear that it needed to be treated delicately. That particular neighborhood was rife with pedestrians, businesses, and homes and any sort of villainous activity had the possibility of reaping a heavy amount of collateral damage. Keigo and the Commission had been on their guards about it, but things had been steadily becoming more intense over the past few weeks. 
Plopping himself on a rooftop, Keigo took up residence to stake out his newest lead, watching figures and silhouettes in a nearby office building.
 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 Funnily enough, the rest of your week went horribly. Just downright shitty. You figured at some point, things would let up, brighten, but they didn’t. Each day brought some new, personal calamity. 
The first was a trip to the emergency vet with one of your cats after she swallowed a hair tie. An expensive vet bill later, she was perfectly healthy, but you remained wracked with anxiety. 
Another day, the owner of the tea shop paid a visit to chew you out for your newest tea blends not fulfilling his picky seasonal requests. You were relieved it had nothing to do with how Hawks monopolized your time. Still, getting yelled at easily within earshot of both coworkers and customers made your insides twists. 
The final small disaster was when a particularly asshole-ish customer chucked a hot drink all over you and your cute white sweater. One of the younger openers had been dealing with a difficult patron and an incorrect order, nothing out of the ordinary. When you tried to step in and de-escalate the situation, the man ripped the lid from his cup and splashed you with the burning liquid. You held back any sounds of pain even as your skin stung like hell when you offered to remake his drink.
One of your managers luckily allowed you to go home early. Thank god.
By the end of your shitty week, you fell into your apartment and just cried. White sweater stained and day feeling fairly ruined, you let yourself have a good, solid sobbing session to just release how terrible things had been. 
It would pass, you knew. But it sucked at the moment.
It also didn’t help that Hawks had been particularly absent after running out the last time he came around. He’d still managed to shoot you a funny text or two, but mostly, it was silence from him. You rationalized it by reminding yourself of how quickly he flew off at the end of his last visit, hero business forever more pertinent than you and the shop.
You reminded yourself to keep yourself grounded in Hawks obvious impermanence, even if you were starting to get used to (and really like) having the hero around. 
You decided that your Friday evening would be good. You treated yourself to a hot shower, noting with a hiss the pink scalded skin that covered your chest from your collar bones to just below your breasts. You threw on a facemask and uncorked a bottle of wine you had been saving for a rainy day. 
You clicked on one of your favorite shows, an older cartoon that brought you consistent comfort in times like those. Curled up with a knit throw blanket and your healthy cats, it did help soothe the burns, mental and physical.
That is until you got a bit too drunk on red wine and it turned into sad drunk.  
So, you made your way to the roof.
You weren’t fucked up beyond belief, despite the fact that you were towing an open bottle of red in one hand and a pack of cigarettes in the left. The cold would sober you up, along with the nicotine. You hoped it would force you out of your head. 
Upon throwing open the door to your apartment complex’s rooftop, you were made very aware of its wintertime disuse. The gardens that grew during the summer were snowcovered. The chairs and tables for lounging were in a similar state. You didn’t mind. 
The view was still nice. 
You set down your bottle and zipped up your coat. Quickly, you brushed off the flurries from a rickety lawn chair and plopped yourself down. You threw on some music from your phone, playing some sweet, old songs that made your chest ache when you needed it to.
The city stretched in front of you, beyond the rooftop. You didn’t live in a particularly wealthy district, but there was no shortage of dazzling neon and bright street lights dotting the ground below. You watched how the rest of the city stretched far beyond your little pocket, still gleaming with multi-hued lighting and dazzling in the wash of the crescent moon.
You took a swig, fishing for your self-dubbed ‘sad cigarettes’ and lit up. With your exhale, you watched as smoke lazily swirled away, carried by the soft winter wind. If you were any less drunk, you’d be freezing.
A shadow, winged, fell across the snow. 
“You know, I get nervous when I see pretty girls on rooftops with bottles in their hands,” You jumped at the voice, whipping your head to the source.
Hawks stood, scarlet wings fanned outwards, on the lip of the rooftop. 
Your eyes widened.
You took another sip.
He gave an affectionate laugh, jumping down into the area where you were seated.
 Keigo had just been out on his normal, nightly patrol. The leak had been correct and he’d been stealthily tracking the villains while completing the rest of his hero duties. He was able to laugh off his exhaustion, but it was starting to eat him. Several cans of coffee a day was hardly doing it for him. He hid his sleepiness and aches well, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t difficult. All the same, his typical roles had to be fulfilled. 
He was surprised to see you, all alone on a rooftop with a lit cigarette between your fingers. Keigo let himself be surprised before noting that ‘ yes, you definitely probably live in this apartment building and you’re just outside to smoke’, but the sudden jolt of panic he felt was crushingly unbearable. 
Mostly because it was personally protective and not heroically instinctual and he couldn’t start acknowledging that aspect of his feelings for you. Not yet. 
Keigo walked towards you, asking, watching you blink blearily at him “You doing alright?” 
Eyes downcast, you shrugged, “We all feel shitty sometimes. Just depends on how you cope, ‘ya know?”
“And how do you cope, (Y/N)?” Keigo asked, pausing before brushing off a chair. “Mind if I join you for a bit? I could use a second to rest my wings.”
You nodded, almost offering him the bottle, but quickly pulling it back to your chest before taking another inhale. Offering a pro hero alcohol while he was pretty obviously working seemed like a bad move, even in your tipsy state. 
“Most of the time, I watch nice stuff and distract myself, like most people, ya’ know?” You exhaled as you smoked, relishing the nicotine buzz. “Sometimes, though, I just feel extra shitty and need to extra cope.”
Hawks hummed in agreement, sitting back in the chair. His wings were folded up and over its back, the longest feathers trailing in the small snowdrift behind him.
“Do you get cold, being in the sky all the time?” You asked, eyes going cloudy as you stared up at the lights of the city and higher into the sky. 
“Most of the time,” Hawks chuckled, throwing his arms behind his head, “I’ve told you this, angel. It was one of our first conversations.”
Your eyes widened at the realization, mouth open with a hearty laugh.
 It made Keigo’s eyes water a little. He blamed it on the wind. 
 “I’m silly, I can’t believe I forgot,” You nestled back into your chair, tracing the lines between constellations. “It’s the whole reason you came to the teashop in the first place.” 
Your voice resonated, focus foggy. Somewhere else, old memories played in your mind, recounting your first few meetings with Hawks.
A warm, small smile stretched across your face as you traced the stars. 
 Keigo watched, enraptured. You were cute, especially like this. All bundled up in your winter coat, half-zipped. There was a lot less stress in your shoulders than he normally saw at the shop, especially as your thoughts were so far away.
He wanted nothing more than to commit the contours and shadows of your face in the white moonlight to memory, never forgotten in the blissful cold. 
 You interrupted his thoughts so beautifully.
 “Thanks for talking to me.” You took a sip from your bottle just after speaking, half-drowning your words, but Keigo caught each one. “I appreciate you.” 
“P-pardon?” Keigo couldn’t tell if you caught his stutter, but even if you did, you didn’t show it. The comment felt like a jab to his jaw, half-knocking the wind of him and turning him into a filthy masochist. He’d take any whiplash if it meant you saying such kindnesses to him. 
How could you just say shit like that?
What exactly did you mean by that?
Why did your attention make his legs tremble?
You turned your attention from the night sky to Hawks, something like uncertainty bubbling in your chest, “I appreciate you, ya’ know? Coming by the tea shop still, teasing each other and shit, you humoring me—”
Hawks interrupted you, feathers tensing at his back.
“I’m not humoring you.” Hawks deadpanned, staring at you oddly seriously. The yolks of his eyes seemed even more intense in the neon and night light. 
“You’re... not?” 
There was utter disbelief in your voice, accented by the way your jaw was half-opened.
Hawks shook his head, standing in emphasis, feathers fluttering as he did, “ No, angel. Not at all. I visit because...”
I like you.
“Because I like your drinks.”
  Because you make me feel good in a way I’ve never felt.
“You’re fun to talk to, too. Added perk.”
  Because I want to hear your voice when I breathe and when I die. 
“I enjoy it, you know? You're fun.”
 Some feeling in your chest, something full of hope, crushed itself and compacted to the point of pain. You sniffled at his admission, blaming it on the cold. In a fucked up, sad way, part of you was so relieved. 
He likes the shop. He likes your drinks. 
He’s around because he wants to be. 
But not because you’re special to him. 
 His words reminded you of your insignificance in Hawks’s life. No matter how much you craved his attention and words, and more recently found yourself staring at the plumpness of his lips and the curve of his cupids bow and daydreaming about how much you wanted to lean over the tea shop's counter and kiss the constant, teasing smile off his face—
But.
You don’t matter that much to him.
Sure, he likes you, but he’ll never feel the same way about you. 
 You made the decision then to make the most out of Hawk’s affections and sweet words. You’d take what you could get, even if it was fleeting and probably  eventually heartbreaking. It seemed smart, to refuse to get your hopes up for someone so unattainable.
 You let out a shaking sigh, “Thank you, Hawks. I appreciate you coming around. You really light up my day.”
 Keigo saw the fall of your face and bottled himself up. Shoved down everything. Fuck his feeling, fuck how he felt about you, this was all fucking terrifying. It was getting to be too much and he had to try and control himself.
Just like he’d been taught so well.
He was just so happy to be around you. He could squash his feelings, even if they were fairly obviously somewhat mutual. God knows that he didn’t know how to handle anything like that.
On the gods, his pager beeped.
 “Duty calls?” You said, standing up yourself and brushing off the stray snowflakes. 
“Seems so.” Hawks sighed, nodding, “Thanks for letting me rest here. It was good to see you, (Y/N). I’ll see you soon, okay?”
You waved goodbye as Hawks disappeared as quickly as he came, launching himself from the roof with the heavy sound of wing beats. 
Soaring away, Keigo risked a final look at you. He swore he saw tears in your eyes.
He forcibly repressed his feelings, reminding himself that your company, words, and quirk-made beverages were more than enough. The flutter in his chest when he thought of you wouldn’t rest, but he could learn to ignore it. 
 On the roof of your apartment, you felt fatigue in your bones and wetness on your cheeks. You ignored both in favor of smoking another cigarette, soft, melancholy music being your only constant, reliable companion. 
You reminded yourself that he, Hawks, was a temporary fixture, more flighty than most and liked you just enough and for surface-level reasons. You could take that. You’d do anything to be around him more, even if it never amounted to anything. 
You, just as Keigo did, pressed down any larger feelings.
 (The thing about feelings, though, that neither of you was very good at remembering, was that they don’t go away. Sure, you can let them go, but that takes time or a practiced mind!)
(When you take feelings, big, aching, soaking feelings and shove them down into the deepest parts of you, they just tend to make you bleed. The ‘hidden’ feelings color your blood as it spills, even if you don’t notice when it falls and its change in hue.)
(One can only hope that both Keigo and you listened instead of lied.)
 Both of your hearts ached, and neither of you fully understood why.
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gravelyhumerus · 4 years ago
Text
Criminal Minds College AU - Chapter Seventeen
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Title: “I may just take your breath away”
Relationship: Jemily
Summary:
Exams, pizza, board games... what more could a girl ask for?
Slow-burn Jemily college AU where they live across the hall and despite all odds, the universe pushes them together. AKA they’re silly gay babies who pine after each other for months.
Read it on AO3
Tumblr:  One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, (bonus scene), Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty
 “That was a lot of chess,” Emily complained, nearly chugging her latte as she and Spencer left the coffee shop. 
She pulled her beanie onto her head and braced herself for the snow as the taller boy held the door open for her. Emily almost slipped on the slushy tile floor on her way out but managed to keep her balance. 
“Fifteen of the multiple-choice questions to be precise,” Spencer replied. The salted sidewalk crunched under their feet as they made their way across campus. 
“I’m so glad it’s finally over,” she admitted. “I think I’ve had enough philosophy to last me a lifetime.” 
“I’m enrolled in ‘Minds and Machines’ next semester,” he said. “I think I might try and get a double minor this time around.”
“What’s the goal? Three PhDs by the time you’re 24?” Emily quipped. 
He was well on his way, having completed his engineering degree before she managed to graduate high school. He was 17, only two years younger than her, but somehow seemed like a kid. A kid with more education crammed into his brain than she could ever master in her life.
“Something like that,” he replied with a smile. His hair was getting long and he had tied it back during the exam. With last names starting with P and R, they were seated near each other in the large exam hall, and she glanced over at him as he fussed with his hair. 
They stopped at the red light, watching as the cars and busses wooshed past them, sending the slush flying into the snowbanks. It had been a fairly sunny day, but bitterly cold. Now, the sun was setting and the campus was bathed in a warm golden glow. The snow had fallen the night before, leaving fluffy white snow covering their campus. 
Emily had spent most of the day holed up in the library with Spencer, with him quizzing her on fallacies and philosophers. With his eidetic memory, he only really needed to read the material once. Earlier in the semester, she did feel useful when it came to editing each other’s essays. He always got bogged down with detail, word vomiting everything he knew, and she helped him with his structure and argumentation. 
More studying awaited her back in her room. She rubbed at the back of her neck as she thought about the upcoming evening spent hunched over her desk studying criminal justice, a subject that left her questioning her degree half the time as she was forced to learn about the muddled ethics of justice. 
That week, she had survived on minimal sleep, eating mostly bagels and coffee to sustain her. Her body was protesting with each step, and she had suffered from a constant tension headache for as long as she remembered. At least her college had that golden retriever walk around at the library yesterday, she thought to herself, sarcastically. Animal therapy definitely relieved all her stress. As if petting a dog for five minutes would fix the anxiety of finals season. 
Two more exams, she reminded herself. You’ll make it. 
Despite this mantra, Emily was conflicted. While finals were killing her, the end of the semester also meant winter break. Emily would be forced to go “home” for the holidays. For most college students, that meant going back to their respective towns and being surrounded by their loved ones. Emily, on the other hand, didn’t have anywhere she called home. Last winter break, her mom had at least been in DC, and Emily was able to catch up with some of her international school friends who were in the city. This time, her mom was stationed in London, and Emily knew she’d be roped back into her old life. She didn’t know anyone there and knew most of her break would be spent alone. 
The last place she had called home was Rome, and now that was tarnished by her complicated past with that city. 
Emily was good at being alone. Being an only child of a workaholic single mom meant she learned to keep her own company. She read a lot. She got good at running away, escaping her nannies, and skirting security in order to roam free. She’d be fine. 
The problem was that Emily had gotten used to this. She rarely spent a moment alone these days. Whether it was walking to class with Spencer, or Hotch, or Derek, getting lunch with the team, surprise coffee dates with Penelope and spending almost every evening with her girlfriend, she hadn’t been left alone in ages. She didn’t miss it. 
Their residence building had a warm yellow light shining out of the windows and a soft red brick facade. In the summer, ivy grew up the south facing side but in the winter, the ledges were covered in snow and the stone steps were slippery. She trudged forward, excited for the warm embrace of the dorm. 
Spencer had other plans. He reached into the garish yellow plastic newspaper box that was stationed next to their doorway and retrieved this week’s newspaper. 
“Come on Reid,” Emily said. “Just subscribe to the newsletter or something like the rest of us.”
He held up the cover to her in surprise. Usually it reported the news of a recent sports victory, or a change of policy announced by the administrators, or even a fun event held on campus. Sometimes there was even a dramatic protest or an important speaker coming to campus. But this week, the headline surprised her. In large font printed across the page read: “Multiple student politicians fired amid financial scandal.” 
“That sounds bad,” Emily said. It did seem way more dramatic on newsprint than on a website, so maybe Spencer was onto something with his affinity for the printed word. 
Grabbing a copy for herself, she then walked inside to escape the cold. Warm air greeted them as they entered their residence hall, and both students kicked the snow off their boots before trudging up the stairs. They read as they walked, but the route to their rooms was already muscle memory, so neither worried about stumbling on their way. 
Normally, Emily wouldn’t willingly touch this sort of student politics with a ten foot pole. Sure, she was involved with the Criminology council, but there was a difference between the kind of person interested in petitioning for better accessibility to faculty events or running a bake sale, and the kind of students to embezzle thousands of student dollars like what the current student government executive seemed to be accused of doing. 
She quickly ran her eyes down the page, the contents jogging a memory from Halloween, of Hotch and JJ discussing the early stirrings of said scandal. 
“You know,” Spencer said, “I’m surprised they got a lot of this information, it’s notoriously difficult to file FOIAs for student governments, as they’re technically private corporations. So the fact that they got these files means that this is a much bigger scandal than one might assume.”
Corruption, bribery, embezzlement, nepotism. All words that jogged memories of hiding in the corner of political fundraisers, overhearing the worst of politics from too-drunk elites sipping on their wine and munching on charcuterie. 
“I hate politics,” Emily said, stuffing her copy of the paper into her bag. 
“I find it interesting. It’s basically a microcosm of our current political climate. In fact, I have subscribed to the print edition of fifteen student papers in the region,” Spencer said, “I like to keep informed on the coverage of student issues, and compare them to our own.”
“Why?!” Emily said with a laugh. “You know you can just look them up online.”
Spencer gave her a withering look, and she should have known better than asking about his aversion to tech. He loathed having to use his computer, as the LCD screens apparently gave him a headache. Penelope even gave him a pair of blue light glasses to attempt to alleviate the issue.
Then, he began to speak, at length, about the dying printed news industry and why print copies were better for understanding than screens et cetera. She made sure to nod and hum at appropriate points, but her mind kept wandering. 
She wondered if her girlfriend was in her room. Emily missed her any time they were apart and she yearned to hold her in her arms once again. But she shouldn’t. She needed to work. She had too much to do. Her grades had slipped, slightly, this semester. Everyone warned her about how college would be harder than high school, but no one ever warned her how much the expectations were raised in second year. 
Two more exams. She clutched her coffee tighter. She’d rather do anything else besides study at this point. Her body was exhausted, her mind frazzled. She wondered if she could even manage to get through a chapter of revision before conking out on her desk. 
As she said goodbye to Spencer and struggled with her keys that were tangled up in their corresponding university-branded lanyard, JJ’s door opened.  
“Hey girlfriend,” JJ greeted her, sounding way too much like a straight girl greeting her platonic friend for Emily’s taste. She gave her a pass because it sounded cute in her voice. 
“JJ!” Emily said, somehow surprised to see her despite the fact that she lived right across the hall. Her girlfriend was dressed in sweatpants and an oversized sweater, with her straight hair tucked behind her ears and her face bare of make up. Her face was lit up with a smile, and Emily rushed towards her, planting a soft kiss on her lips.
“Hi JJ,” Spencer said as Emily and JJ kissed. 
When they pulled apart, JJ gave Spencer a smile as a greeting and asked them how their exam went. 
Spencer babbled about their Logic exams for a minute or two, as Emily basked in JJ’s presence. She grabbed onto her hand and found that it was so much hotter than her own and wasn’t sure if she held on tight because she was cold, or if she had missed her girlfriend. 
“I’m just glad it’s over,” Emily said. “I never want to hear about fallacies again.”
Spencer seemed to want to say something, but fell silent at Emily’s tired expression. 
“Wanna come in for a bit?” JJ whispered in Emily’s ear. Apparently she said so a touch too loud because Spencer replied instead. 
“Sure!” he said, and then walked into JJ and Penelope’s room. 
“I should really study,” Emily tried to argue, but a single glance into JJ’s deep, blue eyes had Emily melting. 
JJ’s room was much messier than Emily had last seen it. Both desks showed clear markers of the ongoing exams, with papers and books piled high. In addition to this was an assortment of pillows strewn all over the floor.
“You guys are back early!” JJ said, after checking her watch, “I thought it was a two hour exam?”
“I finished in an hour,” Spencer said, “and Emily only needed an extra half hour on top of my time.”
Damn straight, Emily thought, feeling somewhat competitive with the boy-genius despite herself. 
She really should study, but the prospect of seeing her girlfriend outweighed the desire to sit hunched over a textbook for another evening. 
Emily and Spencer kicked off their boots, placing them neatly on the mat by the door before peeling their jackets off and hanging them on the back of her door. Emily wasn’t sure if she liked winter. Whenever her mother was stationed in the Middle East she yearned for snow, but now that she was experiencing the Nor’easter for the first time, the desert sounded like a good time. 
“Well there goes my plan,” JJ said, blowing her hair out of her face with a puff of air.
Spencer flopped onto Penelope’s neatly-made bed, collapsing into the assortment of pink pillows while carefully keeping his take-away cup upright. Emily sat down next to JJ on her bed.
“Your plan?” Emily asked. 
“Yeah,” JJ said, sounding a bit shy. “I had this whole plan to make up a blanket fort here for you, and I would surprise you with it when you walked in.’”
JJ gestured with her hands at the mess. Blankets and pillows were strewn about, and a bundle of fairy lights were laying in the middle of the floor. 
“Then you came back early,” JJ concluded. “Spence, I thought you’d keep her occupied longer!”
“You didn’t tell me that,” he replied. Spencer looked quizzically at her, shrugged, then took another sip of his coffee.
“I just wanted us to have a cute date night,” JJ admitted. “I know you’re so stressed, and you deserve a break.” 
Emily grabbed her girlfriend’s moving hands and held them in her own. She felt overwhelmed. JJ was so… thoughtful. Caring. Attentive. So many things that were absolutely foreign to Emily. No one had ever tried to impress her like this. 
“It’s okay,” Emily said. “We don’t need anything special to have a cute date night. You’re cute enough.”
JJ gave Emily a goofy smile in response. 
“Okay,” JJ said. “If you say so.”
“You’re building a blanket fort?” Spencer asked. “I actually have some experience with blanket fort architecture.”
“You do?” JJ asked, raising her eyebrows skeptically.
“Of course,” he replied, seeming almost offended that she questioned him. “It sparked my interest in engineering. I wanted to overcome the problem of chair-tippage when it came to building the structure, so I devised a system of counter-weights that I found increased the structural integrity by 53%. My mom always told me that I could be an architect, but I thought the sciences better suited my intellect.”
“Oh?” Emily asked, genuinely interested. How would someone measure the structural integrity of a blanket fort? 
“Actually, I have some blueprints. Let me grab them,” he said, standing up and making a move for the door. 
“Of course you have blueprints,” JJ laughed. 
“I should probably go feed Gideon, anyway. I’ll be right back!” Spencer  said. Before closing the door behind him.
“Gideon?” Emily asked. 
“His fish,” JJ said, “the one he won at the fair. It’s named after his professor, I think.”
She shrugged. The kid was weird, they tended to just accept that. 
“I guess Spencer’s joining us on date night,” JJ said. “Sorry. I know you’re stressed and probably want to be studying, but I thought we’d order pizza and just have one night off. Just us. And Spencer.”
JJ planted a firm kiss on Emily’s lips, leaving her dazed and blushing. 
“Relaxing sounds perfect,” Emily said, pulling her girlfriend closer to her. “I can’t believe it’s already exams. This semester has flown by. Soon it’ll be winter break, and I won’t get to see you.”
“I can’t imagine you not being right across the hall,” JJ said. “Who will give me kisses when I want them?”
JJ kissed Emily, sucking on Emily’s bottom lip slightly before pulling apart to look at her. 
“I know you’re joking, but I hope you’re not kissing anybody else, no matter the circumstances.”
With that established, Emily pounced on her girlfriend, pushing her onto her bed and kissing her deeply. She intertwined her fingers in the blonde locks that were splayed out in a golden halo and breathed in deep, taking in the warm scent of the lilac candle that burnt on her night side table. 
All her worries melted away at JJ’s touch. Emily’s brain was filled with the feeling of JJ’s lips on hers, with her lithe form beneath her. Exams, student politics and thoughts of home were wiped away, and her stress faded into background noise. 
JJ’s pliant form writhed under Emily’s, her hands sneaking below Emily’s sweater and dancing over her back. They deepened the kiss until they were making out like teenagers in JJ’s dorm with the door still open a crack. 
This was how Spencer, accompanied by Derek, found them when they pushed open the door with blanket fort blueprints and bags of potato chips in hand. 
Spencer made a surprised noise, which made Emily aware of his return. She jumped up and pulled apart from JJ with a dark red blush gracing her cheeks. 
“Woah there ladies,” Derek said with a laugh. “Keep it in your pants!”
“Guys! I was gone for five minutes!” Spencer whined. 
Emily stood up awkwardly, stuffing her hands in her pockets as she watched JJ sit up and pat her hair down in a huff.
“Sorry,” Emily grumbled, not really meaning it. She would never be sorry for kissing JJ, but she was sorry for the awkwardness
“Pretty boy dragged me down the hall,” Derek said in explanation. He had Spencer’s rolled-up fort plans in his hand, and lightly smacked Emily’s head with it, making a comedic thwap noise as it made contact. “Hope you weren’t in the middle of something?”
“Only JJ’s legs,” Emily quipped to everyone’s surprise, even her own. JJ hit her jokingly and blushed. 
“Hey!” Derek laughed, “Let’s keep this PG!”
“You called?” The voice of Penelope Garcia—PG if you will—rang out from the hallway, and within seconds JJ’s room was filled with just about all their friends standing around in a slightly awkward silence: JJ, Emily, Spencer and Derek were joined by Penelope with Hotch in tow. 
The latter two of them had grown closer recently and walked into the room with white shopping bags with the walrus logo printed on the side, looking like they had just returned from out in the cold. Penelope and Hotch going thrifting together, that’s new! Emily thought to herself and decided to file the observation for later. The image of Hotch watching Penelope’s customary fashion show was enough to make her laugh under her breath. 
“We’re building a blanket fort,” Spencer announced, changing the subject to the task at hand. “Are you guys helping?”
“Oh you know I will, boy genius,” Penelope said with an excited smile. 
Emily looked over to her girlfriend. So much for date night.
———
Without much questioning about why they were building a blanket fort, the team got to work. In college, sometimes things just happened. Impromptu blanket forts were par the course. In their defense, any excuse to not spend the evening burying their heads in textbooks was a welcome reprieve. 
It started with just a few blankets draped in the space between JJ and Penelope’s beds, but with Spencer’s instruction, a verifiable architectural marvel began to take shape. 
While Emily knew that Penelope would be all gung ho for this sort of project, it was certainly amusing to see Hotch in his khakis and dress shirt crawling around on the floor like a child with the rest of them, tying off blankets and very seriously maneuvering the different parts of the structure. 
Sheets were draped here and there, tied together to form ceilings and walls. Two chairs stolen from the common room, loaded with backpacks on the seat for support acted as the entrance to the fort. 
While it was crawling space only, Emily had to note that there was a sense of awe when you emerged into the open space of the main fort-area. It was surprisingly big, fitting all six of them with ease. The key to the whole design was a curtain rod Hotch had stolen from the boys shower that lifted the roof up. 
The design was strangely reminiscent of Baroque architecture, which she was sure was due to Spencer’s designs. This was a fact that Emily kept to herself. She always tried to rein in the ‘I lived abroad’ conversation points so her childhood could remain under minimal scrutiny.
Emily’s exhaustion transformed into excitement as she relished the time hanging out with her friends. Music played from Penelope’s computer as they worked, they began to work as a cohesive group, each member doing their share. It was nice to do something besides sit at her desk and obsess over memorizing facts and statistics, or figuring out the proper argumentation for an essay on a subject. Making sure that a bunch of blankets didn’t crash onto them was treated with the utmost seriousness, and the whole group was focused with intense concentration at their own tasks. 
Spencer did, in fact, have literal sketches of blanket forts in his notebooks, but the details of which were fairly incomprehensible to her. While she believed that he did the math, his chicken scratch was just about indecipherable, and his drawing was little more than a few shapes on a page. Despite this, it was laid out on the centre of the dorm-room floor for them to reference. 
At one point, as Emily stood on JJ’s wheely chair, she feared that the fort had all come crashing down as she lost her balance and grabbed at the blankets to stop her fall before tumbling onto Derek with a yelp. 
“Sorry,” she muttered as she climbed back onto her feet and fought off the blanket that had wrapped her in a shroud. 
She flinched as she realized she had ruined it all, a pit forming in her stomach. She looked at her friends in concern, but instead of yelling at her for her mistake, or shunning her for ruining it for the rest of them, they smiled at her and helped her up.
“It’s okay!” Spencer said cheerfully. “I know exactly how to reinforce that wall.”
“You okay, Emily?” Hotch asked, righting the wheely chair as JJ fretted over her. 
“I’m good,” she answered, still confused as to why they weren’t mad at her. 
Instead of making a big deal over the set back, they went back to work. Soon, the fort filled out and it returned to its former glory. Arguably, better than it was because they had draped fairy lights throughout the inside, making the space glow with a warm orange light. 
Inside was filled with pillows and big enough for all of them to sit comfortably so it was a comfy lounge space. It was cozy and warm, the antithesis of the bitterly cold night air outside. 
“You know what?” Hotch said. “This is a damned good fort, Reid.” 
The group muttered in consensus. They all had piled into the space, and as the excitement wore off, Emily was wondering what happened next. What does one do in a blanket fort? She had vague memories of building one in her room, but she had just sat inside and read a book. 
“I hear the RA’s storage room has a ton of board games,” Penelope said. “They pull them out for socials and stuff.”
“That’s all well and good, but we’re not asking Strauss to let us in,” Derek argued. “I still think she thinks we were responsible for that fire alarm last week. She’s been giving me the evil eye ever since.”
“Who said we had to tell her?” Emily said. “We could just… borrow… them…”
“I mean, they are for us to use, anyway.” JJ’s eyes had a mischievous look in them as she looked at Emily.
“That is true,” Hotch said, the scowl that was usually a fixture on his face turning to a smirk. 
“That’s stealing, guys,” Spencer warned, as if they didn’t already know that. 
“We’ll give them back,” Emily said with a shrug. “Come on!”
Penelope led the way to a dark wooden door on the main floor, it was labelled simply “Storage,” but the computer science student assured them that it was where the RA’s stored all of their supplies.
“It’s locked,” Penelope huffed.
“Do you have a bobby pin?” Emily asked her in a hushed voice. She wouldn’t have gotten this far if she hadn’t learned how to pick simple door locks. She had trouble with deadbolts but a simple latch she could probably do within a couple of minutes.
The blonde pulled a hot pink bobby pin out of her perfectly curled hair. Emily snapped it into two, bending one end into a longer L-shape. Sticking that into the bottom of the lock and holding it in place, she used the other side to feel for the pins that held the lock in place. 
Emily could feel all eyes on her as she confidently knelt in front of the doorknob, the group keeping watch for her as she worked. No one questioned how or why Emily knew how to do this. She had her reasons. 
This definitely broke all sorts of residence rules and if they got caught, they knew they’d get into shit, but no one seemed to care that much. They just wouldn’t get caught. 
After a couple minutes, Emily’s hands began to sweat. What if she couldn’t do this anymore? She tried to centre herself. She had made it through infinitely more stressful situations in the past. It was the eyes of her friends on her that made her nervous. She was finally accepted by a group, and she desperately didn’t want to let them down. 
Then, it clicked, and she was able to turn the brass knob easily. Emily made a noise of excitement, got to her feet and yanked the door open. 
Instead of an empty storage closet, on the other side of the door was Erin Strauss, their RA, in a passionate embrace with David Rossi. Her shirt was unbuttoned and he was in the middle of sucking on her neck. 
“Dave?!” Hotch called out, startling the couple. 
Both groups stood stock-still, neither knowing what to say. While Emily had hid the bobby pins, she wasn’t sure who was in more trouble, them for breaking into the room or their RA for using the space for unofficial purposes. 
The room was small and cramped, with a pile of poster board mostly obscuring the one small window that lit the space. Strauss had been hoisted onto the desk, her legs straddling the other student. Emily could see a shelf filled with the board games stacked on the left side of the room, but they seemed unimportant at the moment. While Emily had known about their illicit love affair, she had never expected to see it in action. 
“Hey guys,” Rossi said after a moment, his unwavering confidence carrying on to this moment as he pulled apart from Strauss, who was furiously buttoning up her shirt and trying to sort herself out. 
“What are you all doing in here?” she demanded, standing up and putting her hands on her hips. “This room’s meant for RA’s only.”
“Well,” Emily said, startled by her own audacity, “Dave isn’t an RA so…”
“We just came for some board games,” JJ said in her most diplomatic voice, despite clearly wanting to laugh at the situation, “then we’ll be off.”
“Take them and go,” the RA said in a strangled voice, her face beet-red and as she avoided eye contact like it was the plague. 
Clearly not as embarrassed as Strauss, Rossi simply smirked, collected a few board games into his arms off of the shelf, then deposited them into Emily’s arms. 
Realizing that given the circumstances, they couldn’t be picky with their choices, the stunned group thanked him then scurried away, back upstairs with their loot. The silence remained until they made it back to their floor, where they all burst into laughter.
“What on earth was that?!” Derek exclaimed. 
“Rossi and Strauss,” Spencer muttered. 
Emily and JJ made eye contact, remembering all those weeks ago when they had caught their friend emerging from the RA’s room down the hall in the middle of the night. They had known that Rossi and Strauss had hooked up that night, but had no idea that it was a whole relationship.
“I see it,” Hotch commented. “I mean, I don’t know your RA too well, but Rossi likes a woman with authority.”
Derek and Emily fake-gagged in an exaggerated manner at the comment. 
“I think I need to bleach my eyeballs after that display,” Emily muttered. 
“Ooo-kay!” JJ said, pointedly changing the subject. “It seems like we have most of the pieces to Clue… I think we could manage a game of that. We also have Scrabble, Yahtzee and Snakes and Ladders. Uh… also a pack of cards.”
“At least it’s not chess,” Emily said, thinking about her seemingly endless exam that afternoon. 
“Agreed,” Spencer said. 
“We do not have chess, no,” JJ said with a quizzical laugh. 
———
After ordering a couple of pizzas to the dorm, they all settled in to play a board game. After a few minutes of debate, they decided to play Clue (or Cluedo as Emily continuously referred to it as). The board was laid out: it was vintage, with a teal and yellow colour scheme and some scuffs and rips showing its age. In their blanket fort, they were seated in a circle, all secretly looking at their Clue cards.
“Can I be Professor Plum?” Spencer asked before they had even gotten the pieces out of the box. 
“Of course pretty boy,” Derek said, “I’ll take Mr. Green.”
“My sculpted god of thunder looks excellent in green,” Penelope flirted, choosing the white piece for herself. 
“Did you know that in the original version of Clue, Mr Green was a Reverend, but they changed his name for American audience because they believed that the American public would object to a parson as a murder suspect?”
“Good thing you’re on our trivia team, Reid,” Hotch replied.  
Emily was Miss Scarlet, of course, and was seated right next to JJ, who had chosen to portray Mrs. Peacock. Hotch claimed the remaining piece: Colonel Mustard.
Emily loved board games. Her nanny in France, who was a kindly elderly woman that Emily only knew as “Madame,” would play with her each Sunday after church. She has hazy memories from that time, but the warm glow of sunlight streaming into their Parisian apartment as she learned how to play Cluedo. Emily would always try to cheat, but knew better than to try to do so with her immensely observant girlfriend seated to her left, JJ’s hand resting casually on Emily’s thigh.
She looked at her cards and grinned. She had been dealt her own character, she noted, as Miss Scarlet’s name was printed in bold on the top of her first card. It felt weirdly validating to know that she herself was innocent. Also in her hands were the cards for the candlestick and pistol, as well as the observatory. She marked these off of her card and tried to gauge her opponents' reactions. 
JJ was checking her phone with her cards face down, tracking the pizza’s arrival. Spencer was sprawled back, his long legs taking up way more room than was necessary, jotting down notes on some scrap paper. Presumably some statistics and probability for the possibilities of the cards that were sealed in the envelope in the centre of the board. Penelope smiled over at Derek and flirtatiously tried to sneak a peek at his hand. 
After the initial rounds being dedicated to moving around the board, Emily finally made it into her first room: the lounge. There, she decided on her first suggestion.
“I suggest,” Emily said, in her most dramatic, formal voice, which was particularly suited to the role of Miss Scarlet, “that Mrs. Peacock committed this heinous crime in the Lounge with-” she hurriedly grabbed the candlestick, “the candlestick!”
She knew that it wasn’t the correct weapon, but using it would narrow it down to someone ruling out either JJ’s character or the lounge as the scene of the crime. 
“Moi?!” JJ said, sounding almost offended at the accusation. “Your own girlfriend?!”
Emily grinned evilly at her, but internally she felt giddy. It was the first time she heard JJ use that word in front of their friends. JJ moved her piece into the Lounge. The others chuckled lightly at their antics.
“You have no alibi for the crime, Mrs. Peacock,” Emily said, “and I am merely making a suggestion.”
JJ glared at her, but said nothing. Emily turned to Derek, who was seated at her left. 
“What do I do?” Derek asked, looking around the room, slightly confused. 
“Do you have any of those cards?” Hotch asked. 
“Yeah-” Derek said, moving to show his hand. 
“No!” Penelope stopped him. “Just show one of your cards to Emily if you can prove her suggestion was wrong.”
He made an “o” with his mouth and sneakily showed Emily the Lounge card. Emily noted that, and that it was Derek’s card. Mrs. Peacock had yet to be proven innocent, and Emily gave JJ a suspicious glance. 
She loved this game. 
As the game progressed, Emily noted a few things about her opponents. A part of Emily was profiling her friends subconsciously, reading each of their strategies like a book. 
Penelope always seemed to luck out on her dice rolls, covering a lot of terrain and gathering information like it was a cup of tea. But, she seemed to take it personally when someone accused Mrs. White of having killed Mr. Boddy and gasped every time someone made that suggestion. 
Hotch seemed to take the game very seriously, and was at it like he was an actual police officer solving crime. But, it didn’t seem that he completely understood all of the rules, and definitely hadn’t played before, so he spent most of his turn grumbling as he skimmed the rule pamphlet. 
Spencer, on the other hand, had memorized the rules, common strategies and probabilities of the different outcomes, so Hotch often looked over to him nervously as the boy wrote longhand equations in the notebook that he pulled out of his bag for the very occasion. 
Derek also had never played before, and regularly made ‘accusations’ rather than ‘suggestions’ when he entered a room, frustrating Spencer to no end. But, Derek was smart and seemed to be picking it up as he went along. That was until he made the same suggestion twice in a row, both times making Hotch show him the exact same card. He asked Reid endless questions about specific rules, and more than once he made the boy double check in the rule book when Derek tried to make a rather unorthodox move. 
JJ seemed to be the only one genuinely trying to have fun. She munched on the Cheetos that she stored in the bottom drawer of her night stand, and made conversation. Her strategy seemed to be exclusively focused on playing the game like it was the 1985 feature film Clue, playing the role of Mrs. Peacock with a fake accent and treating it like an actual murder-filled dinner party.
After a solid twenty minutes of gameplay, the pizza arrived. With minimal grumbling from Hotch, who was apparently on a roll, they took a break to eat. 
“Did you see this?” Spencer said with his mouth full, lifting up the copy of the newspaper that he had grabbed earlier.
“Don’t get me started,” JJ grumbled and took a sip of her pop. 
“What happened?” Hotch asked, the conversation piquing his interest. 
Spencer explained—with the assistance of JJ who apparently knew one of the people involved through soccer—the entire scandal. Apparently, last year there had been very little interest in the leadership roles, so the President of the student government had simply waltzed into his role. He then hired all of his friends, his girlfriend, his roommate, and together they embezzled thousands of dollars of student funds. 
“I can’t believe they’re getting away with this,” JJ muttered. “Is there no oversight?”
“It’s always the same,” Emily replied. “Who’s going to oversee them? The college? They’re corrupt too.”
“This sucks,” Derek said. “Wish someone good would run for government, for once.”
Emily shook her head in frustration. It all just reminded her of her childhood. Embezzlement, corruption and nepotism all were casual topics discussed over family dinner in her home. She had higher hopes for students her own age, would they not break the cycle? Or was it just a microcosm of the outside world? 
“You should run Mr. Lawyer Man,” Penelope teased Hotch. “You could take any of these clowns.”
Hotch raised an eyebrow at her and went back to his pizza, brushing her off. Emily smiled at him. Penelope was right, he might actually do a good job if he set his mind to it. 
The people that surrounded her now were nothing like her mother’s friends—or the kids she had been forced to hang out with when she was younger—they were genuinely kind, supportive, and seemed to like Emily for Emily. When she told them she was an ambassador’s daughter, they had been more concerned with the cool places that she had been able to travel to than whatever power she had. At college, Emily finally exhaled fully, slowly relaxing more and more into herself. 
But, the topic of politics always set her on edge, especially since the semester was ending soon. Her mother had already begun to leave her voicemails about the galas, fundraisers and events that she was required to attend over Christmas break. She pushed thoughts of the future aside and focused on the warmth that surrounded her. With some music playing softly (a song that JJ liked by Vampire Weekend), the softness of blankets under her, and JJ leaning on her slightly as she ate her dinner, Emily felt at peace. She knew she could handle winter break, because she knew that these friends would be here when she came back. 
After years of leaving a school midway through the year only to show up to some new boarding school or international school each time her mom was reassigned, Emily never had a chance to put down roots. But, with each bite of pizza, Emily felt herself becoming even more firmly rooted. Not to this place, but to these people as their lives became more entwined. 
Once dinner was over, the game continued, and thoughts of politics left their minds. By then, Emily narrowed it down to the weapon (the candlestick), two rooms (the kitchen and the billiard room) and she was pretty sure that it was Colonel Mustard that had committed the crime. 
She had a decision to make: walk all the way from the study to the billiard room, or risk being wrong by making an accusation. She was pretty sure both Hotch and Reid were on the right track, as the younger boy’s scribbling in his notebook had gotten even more intense and the older boy was beginning to look around suspiciously, as if the others were trying to read his notes. 
She had pretty much ruled out Penelope, JJ and Derek as competitors, as the trio spent most of the time talking, and genuinely trying to have fun. Emily, Reid and Hotch were all way too into it, but Emily was competitive and this was her game. She wasn’t going to lose to Hotch, no way. Reid winning she could blame on his boy-genius nature, but Emily decided that Hotch was going down. 
The two boys seemed to have come to the same conclusion, all eyeing each other across the board, the tension palatable between them as their competition became heated. 
She nervously tried to move to the billiards room, deciding to play it safe. Better safe than disqualified. But, as soon as she made that decision, she regretted it as Spencer straightened up on his turn and said: “I’d like to make my accusation.”
“Write it down,” JJ prompted, as per the rules. He jotted it down in his paper. 
Then, with bated breath, they watched as he grabbed the envelope out of the centre of the board, and read the cards. His face fell when he saw one of the cards, so he must have been wrong. He placed them back into their envelope and back onto the board. 
“No dice?” Emily asked. 
He shook his head. 
“Statistically speaking that should have been right,” he grumbled. “My math was wrong.”
“Boy genius isn’t a good detective, huh?” Penelope mused. 
A few turns went by, with Derek, Penelope, and JJ moving around the board or making suggestions. 
Emily rolled the dice, making one square from a room. She sighed. She’d make a suggestion next round. 
On Hotch’s next turn, he made an accusation, which he wrote down on a pink sticky note that Penelope had handed out when the game started. He checked the envelope. 
Emily held her breath. She was sure he had it and that the game was over. She should just call it quits now. She went to bite her nails out of stress, but stopped herself, they were starting to get long and she wanted them to look nice. 
A moment passed as Hotch compared his cards. After he saw the third card in the envelope, his expression revealed that was also wrong. 
Boys, Emily thought. Always so overconfident. 
She made a suggestion instead of risking it: “Miss Scarlet—er myself I guess— in the Billiards Room with the pistol.” 
It was a gamble. If she was right, and the people who knew she had her own card and the pistol caught on, they would also know that it was the Billiard Room, because no one would be able to disprove her theory. If she was wrong, someone would have the card for that room, and she would know that the crime occured in the Kitchen. 
The second seemed to be true, as Derek showed her his card with a small illustrated image of the Billiard Room on it. She was right. She knew what it was. But, she would have to wait until her next turn. She was going to win. 
But, it was she who was overconfident, because as she was too busy preemptively celebrating her win, Derek casually made his accusation. 
“Hey I’m right!” he exclaimed, holding up the cards and his own hot pink sticky note. 
In his semi-cursive scrawl read: “Colonel Mustard, Candlestick, Kitchen.” These guesses matched the cards hidden in the envelope, and Emily’s own deduction that she planned to make on her own turn. 
“You guys really thought I hadn’t played this game before?” Derek laughed. “I’ve got two sisters, board games were everything.”
“Were you hustling us, Morgan?” Spencer demanded. 
He smirked. 
“Should’ve put money on the outcome,” Derek said with a laugh. “I’d be rich.” 
Emily threw her cards onto the table in defeat. JJ shot her an empathetic look, and Emily tried to stuff her frustration down to pat her friend on the back for the surprising win. He deserved it.
———
After the game concluded and the pizza had been completely eaten, the group parted ways, heading to bed, or for more midnight snacks or to finish up some studying, leaving JJ and Emily alone and to start? a game of Scrabble. 
The board was ancient, and quite a few letters were missing, but with music droning on JJ’s laptop, and the soft fairy lights overhead, neither girl minded too much. 
Emily looked at her letters:  O, B, S, O, T, B, W and thought hard, rearranging the wooden pieces to try and formulate a word. After a long day of academia, and investing so heavily into the game of Clue, she probably had only one or two working brain cells and both were telling her to play the word ‘boobs.’  
Her eyes flicked to her girlfriend, who looked absolutely gorgeous in the warm light. Her blonde hair almost glowed, and she had an adorable expression on her face. Emily couldn’t help but glance lower, thinking about the real world examples of her Scrabble word.  
She played the word with a cheeky grin. 
“‘Boobs,’ Emily?” JJ scolded. “Really?”
She sounded angry, but there was a hint of a smile tugging at her cheeks and Emily could tell the girl found it funny. 
“I can’t help it,” Emily said. “I haven’t thought of much else since last weekend.”
She raised and lowered her eyebrows in an exaggerated manner, making JJ laugh and kick her lightly in protest. 
JJ then played the word ‘throw,’ using the ‘o’ from ‘boobs’ to form her word, earning her thirteen points. 
“I don’t think you can throw boobs, babe,” Emily said. “They’re usually attached.”
JJ rolled her eyes. 
Emily made it her mission to find the funniest words possible, working extra hard (and missing out on some good points) in an effort to make JJ laugh. ‘Armpit,’ ‘meaty,’ ‘hoagie,’ ‘urine,’ ‘joint’ and her piece de resistance: ‘boner.’ All while JJ was playing incredibly normal, and often strategic words like ‘axis,’ ‘snow,’ ‘vain,’ ‘snag’ and ‘writings,’ hitting multiple double- and triple word scores on the way. 
“This is fun,” Emily said, sneaking a handful of JJ’s Cheetos out of the family-sized bag next to the blonde, while she was distracted by playing her turn. 
“I don’t understand how you’re winning,” JJ muttered. 
Emily shrugged, “Guess I’m just a genius.”
“Reid? Is that you?” JJ joked. “Why are you disguised as my girlfriend?” 
“Would Reid do this?” Emily said, leaning over toward her girlfriend and pressing kisses all over her face until she fell back. Then Emily straddled her, their lips meeting in a passionate embrace that left both girls panting. 
“I would hope not!” JJ exclaimed with a laugh, making a face at the thought. 
They laughed and went back to making out, with Emily careful not to disturb the game pieces. JJ sucked onto Emily’s bottom lip, making her weak in the knees and she struggled to support herself over JJ’s shorter frame at the motion. 
“We should-” Emily tried to say between kisses, “finish the game.”
JJ kept deepening the kiss, going so far as to grab onto Emily’s butt to hold her in place on top of her.
“You’re trying to distract me,” Emily chided, “because I’m winning! I see right through your plot.” 
She sat up and went back to her tiles before playing another funny word: ‘suck’ for twenty points. JJ grumbled,fiddling with her own tiles, as Emily collected a few out of the bag. 
Emily was preening as she rearranged her own tiles and didn’t notice as JJ put down her word. When she went to play her next word (‘zap’) and only then did she see what word JJ played. 
‘Love.’ 
It was there. Clear as day. Written vertically and connected to the word ‘snow,’ it was unmistakable. Emily looked at it for a long moment, trying to figure out what it could possibly mean that her girlfriend very intentionally played such a loaded word. Was it the only word that fit? Did she only mean that she loved the snow? Was she also reading into it? 
Emily looked up, making eye contact with JJ. The blonde blushed and looked away, nervously fiddling with the necklace around her neck. Emily smiled faintly at the warmth that flooded through her, but alongside that, was the sharp pang of anxiety. Was she supposed to acknowledge that? Would that make it weird? 
‘Zap’ didn’t feel appropriate when her girlfriend may or may not have confessed her love for her. 
She played it anyway, deciding that making a big deal of it would just complicate matters. Besides, did she love JJ? She didn’t know. It was all so new. She liked JJ a lot. She definitely like-liked her in the traditional sense of the world. But Emily had never been in love before. She’d loved people before, Matthew for one, and her mother in a way, and she loved Derek like a brother. But being in love was a whole ‘nother ball game. 
JJ won the game after playing ‘equinox’ for twenty two points near the end, beating any lead Emily had gained from her silly words. JJ deserved it in the end, as the blonde would sit and stare at her letters until they formed the most complex words that Emily had never even heard of. Emily’s eyes drooped and she was barely able to create three letter words by the end, while JJ was still surprising her with her vocabulary. 
Emily shook JJ’s hand to congratulate her for the win. JJ grinned and kissed her. 
Then, they looked around and realized two things: it was past one in the morning and Penelope hadn’t come back to the room yet and that all of the blankets that JJ owned were currently being used in the blanket fort. 
“Can we sleep in my bed, tonight?” Emily asked. “I’ll help you clean up in the morning.” 
JJ nodded but was in the middle of texting Penelope, wondering where on earth her roommate had wandered off to. Within a minute she got back to JJ saying: with derek! will explain tmrw!! 😘 🧚‍♀️ 😳
JJ showed Emily the message and both girls giggled. Emily saw that coming, but didn’t realize it would be a game of Clue that finally sealed the deal.
Exhausted but happy and relaxed after the game night, Emily and JJ tumbled into Emily’s bed and cuddled up together. Between JJ and Emily, the word ‘love’ was left unsaid that night, but Emily fell asleep that night feeling a new warmth in her chest.
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hxneyandespressx · 4 years ago
Text
if i were a man (i’d be the man)
summary: jj holds a press conference while on a high-profile case. she has to deal with the stupid male reporters. after the conference is done, jj goes to the nearest bathroom, away from the crowd, and screams and swears to her heart’s content
word count: 6.2k 
content warnings: mentions of emotional and verbal abuse, guns, violence, blood, suicide
a/n: inspiration for this fic is from criminal minds season 4 episode 16 “pleasure is my business”
☆。*。☆。
It was a rough start to a Wednesday morning for a particular FBI agent. She almost twisted her ankle on her early morning jog, got stuck in traffic, and had to wait in a long line for her co-workers’ coffee orders. Soon enough, she started to wish that she took the metro instead. Media communications liaison Jennifer “JJ” Jareau woke up today and chose violence. She huffed in frustration at how her morning went.
Walking toward the bullpen with the coffee orders in her hands, JJ was greeted with “hellos” and “good mornings”. Not wanting to have her co-workers profile her, JJ bottled up her frustration and grumpiness and put a smile on her face. It was a rule amongst the group to never profile each other. With learning an assortment of profiling tactics, JJ knew how to form a realistic smile without genuine happiness. Creases around the eyes, smile lines contoured the mouth, sparkles in her baby blue eyes. The short blonde perfected the fake smile that could fool anyone, even expert profilers.
“Good morning, guys.” JJ said with a bright smile on her face. She held two cardboard trays filled with various coffee orders. She placed one of the trays on Emily’s desk, so she can pass out the orders to her co-workers. She called out the order name as she passed the cup to the person.
“One French vanilla latte for Ms. Garcia. Two black coffees for Emily and Derek. And finally, a coffee with extra cream and sugar for Spence.” Everyone said their thank you’s to the blonde. Then, there was one coffee cup left. A cappuccino.
“Happy Wednesday, my nerds.” Rossi said as he approached the group of tired agents. JJ smiled and handed the cappuccino to the elderly man.
“Grazie.” He thanked the media liaison for her efforts to bring his favorite morning beverage. The group spent some time chatting nonsense before the case briefing. Thirty minutes went by and all of them disbursed into their desks to finish up the paperwork. JJ headed down to her office to work on choosing the next case after the one that was currently ongoing.
After settling in her office chair, JJ took a look around her office. Messy stacks of pending files scattered her desk. Empty coffee cups and water bottles lined the file cabinet. JJ checked the time on her watch. 8:12 AM. About two hours to kill. The blonde put her hair up into a ponytail and took in a deep breath. She dove into the nearest pile of manila files, looking through all the documents and photographs to determine which case for the BAU team to take on after the current case.
As the clock ticked closer to 10 AM, JJ picked up today’s case files and head out of her office. Strutting through the bullpen, JJ entered the briefing room slightly out of breath.
“Sorry I’m late, everyone,” JJ said while passing the manila folders out to her co-workers. After handing out the necessary materials, she grabbed the remote from the center of the wooden table.
“Sam Winchester was found in Fulton Park, in the Stuyvesant Heights neighborhood of Brooklyn. Eighteen stab wounds to his chest and neck,” JJ explained as she clicked on the remote to switch between the crime scene photos. “He is one of the victims dumped at various locations of Brooklyn that was found last night.”
“Hold up. One of the victims?” Derek asked.
“Yeah. So far this killer built up a rep sheet of five kills.” JJ stated. Hotch raised one of his eyebrows at the new information.
“Seven? Why haven’t the NYPD notified us immediately after the first three kills?” Hotch asked the media liaison.
“Probably the department thought they could handle the crimes,” JJ explained. “That was the case until they realized that they needed help.”
The young blonde switched to the next slide, showing one of the other victims dumped in North Williamsburg.
“What’s interesting about the locations is that the first victim was drowned in the Hudson River. And as more victims appear, the disposal methods get more dramatic. Maybe it plays some role in the unsub’s pathology.” Spencer said as he looked at the screen, observing for any patterns.
“Like with one of the recent victims, the disposal site is in Cobble Hill. It’s typically occupied by those who are relatively wealthy.” Rossi said to continue Spencer’s thoughts. “This unsub is getting bolder with his disposal sites. I’m concerned with there being an end game to this.” Emily stated. Everyone at the round table shifted through the various crime scene photos and documents. Rossi took hold of one of the crime scene photographs: a reversed ten of cups tarot card. “It is also apparent that the unsub is leaving tarot cards at the scene of the crime.”
“Tarot cards? What’s the significance?” Derek asked.
“Maybe to tell of the inevitable fortune the victims faced?” Emily said. 
“Well, each card has a different meaning when it is upright and reversed. And usually, when doing a reading, three to five cards are pulled to tell a fortune.” Penelope explained as she typed away on her work laptop. It had not surprised anyone that the technical analyst had an interest in tarot readings and astrology.  
“You know, the first documented tarot packs were recorded between 1440 and 1450 AD in Milan, Ferrara, Florence, and Bologna when additional trump cards with allegorical illustrations were added to the common four-suit pack. These new decks were called carte da trionfi, triumph cards, and the additional cards are known simply as trionfi, which became "trumps" in English. The oldest surviving tarot cards are the 15 Visconti-Sforza tarot decks painted in the mid-15th century for the rulers of the Duchy of Milan. The Duke of Milan described a 60-card deck with 16 cards having images of the Roman gods and suits depicting four kinds of birds.” Spencer talked about the history of tarot cards, with hand gestures to accompany his little ramble. When he finished, everyone at the table stared at him. The young FBI agents sheepishly smiled as Emily poked his left cheek.
“Since when did you learn about tarot cards?” Emily asked. 
“I learned about it when I took a college course on the Italian Renaissance.” Spencer sheepishly smiled.
“Well, whatever it is, it seems like there is a story to be told––or rather to be heard.” JJ said as she stared at the crime scene photos, her eyebrows knitted together in bewilderment.  
“That’s what we need to find out. Wheels up in 20.” Hotch called out. 
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The BAU members sat comfortably on the jet, each in their little world. That was until the unit chief called on everyone for a case discussion. 
“Let’s go over victimology.” Hotch said to call on the group. Everyone moved closer to the unit chief to better discuss the case. Derek sat in an armchair, with Emily next to him. Across from them were Spencer and JJ. Hotch leaned against one of the seats, practically sitting on the adjustable arm of the plane seat. Rossi sat on the tan velvet couch, adjacent to JJ. 
“Reid.” Hotch called on the genius of the group. 
“White. Male. Between the ages of 45-55. Jobs ranging from a stockbroker to assets protection manager. All of them have cheated on their wives multiple times and some even had sexual harassment accusations.” The young curly-haired man said to start the discussion. 
“Even if these men cheated on their wives and got those accusations, they still didn’t deserve the multiple stab wounds to meet their end.” Emily said. 
JJ looked through the case file to see the reports on all five victims.
“The victims’ names are Igor Andreevich, Lucas Duncan, Hunter Mcevoy, Sam Winchester, Jared Kalinski.” JJ called the names out like it was a roll call. 
“These are the five victims that this unsub killed so far?” Hotch asked. The blonde nodded her head and said “yes, sir” in response.
“As the victim count increased, the more stab wounds appeared on the body.” Rossi said to point out an observation.
“But the M.E. said that most of these stab wounds were created post mortem. Meaning that the initial stab was to get the job done efficiently and he went back in to fuel his rage and/or sexual needs.” Spencer
“Are we assuming his sexual orientation? Because there aren’t many homosexual serial killers, kid” Rossi said. 
“It could be a possibility. We have to consider our options.” Hotch said. 
Just then, the laptop turned on and showed the beautiful Penelope Garcia. 
“How’s it going, my crime-fighting musketeers?” Penelope asked. Everyone, even Hotch, smiled at her cheery greeting.
“Garcia, start compiling files on each of our victims,” Hotch told the technical analyst. “Everything financial and personal. Bank statements, credit card bills, investments, wills, trust funds. Anything that will tell us more about the victim’s lives.”
“Faster than a Hotch rocket.” After that was said into the air, Penelope felt embarrassed while Hotch looked at her with his usual stone-cold face. Derek sighed and shook his head, taking a sip of his coffee to hide his second-hand embarrassment for his babygirl.  
To break the silence, Rossi grunted and coughed into his fist. 
“Based on the jobs these men had, we could safely assume that they were killed in the financial district of New York. Then, the unsub transported the bodies to a dumpsite.” Emily said as she read off from the case file in her hands.
“But why from Manhattan to Brooklyn? That is a lot of weight to carry.” Derek asked. 
“Maybe Brooklyn holds a lot of significance to him. Something from his childhood and he can’t let go.” JJ said. Everyone nodded their heads in agreement as they all closed their files. 
“Once we land, do you want me to get in contact with the media to inform the public?” The media liaison asked the unit chief.
“No. We need to hold back on it. Giving him the media’s attention is exactly what he wants. He wants his story to be heard and we will not give him that.” Hotch explained. JJ nodded in response and wrote down media concerns in her small blue notepad. 
“Dave, You and Prentiss go to the crime scene,” Hotch instructed the group. “The rest of us will get up to speed at the precinct.” Everyone nodded in agreement with the unit chief.
After discussing the victimology and the nature of the case, everyone separated and occupied their own space on the jet. Derek on the couch, listening to music. Spencer by the window, reading the Hound of the Baskervilles. Rossi and Hotch in the back, conversing whatever two elderly men talk about. 
The blonde media liaison stared out of the window until she felt a presence next to her. She looked away to find Emily standing in the aisle with a cup of coffee and a bag of Cheetos in her hands.
“Want some company?” Emily asked as she took the empty seat.
“I don’t mind at all.” JJ smiled at the brunette. The shorter woman felt special that Emily did this for her. She took the Cheetos and the coffee mug from her co-worker. As she grabbed them, their fingers brushed against each other. A little pink blush formed on JJ’s cheeks. Not wanting Emily to know about the silly crush the blonde had on her, JJ covered half her face with her beloved blue blanket. Emily chuckled at JJ’s actions and placed her hand on the blonde’s right shoulder, closing her eyes for a quick nap. 
JJ carefully took some of her dark blue blanket and wrapped it around Emily’s right shoulder. She looked at the brunette who was sleeping on her shoulder and softly smiled.
The blonde took sips of the coffee as she stared out of the window. The sunlight bounced off the water particles in the clouds, creating a mini rainbow over the tops of the white clouds. The media liaison took in the silence as a treat, before landing into the chaos of New York.
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A government-mandated black SUV arrived at the 25th precinct. Everyone––sans Emily and Rossi––got out of the car and was greeted by a lively short woman. 
“Detective Miller? We spoke on the phone.” JJ shook hands with the short woman. 
“Please, call me Kennedy. Thanks for coming in.”
“No problem. These are agents Hotchner, Morgan, and Doctor Reid.” JJ introduced them while gesturing at the person, in respective order.
“Hey, why don't you go on inside and make yourself comfortable.” Kennedy said. The remaining BAU members nodded their heads and made their way inside the busy precinct. Police officers swarmed everywhere as the federal agents weaved their way to an empty conference room. 
Everyone worked at a swift pace to get everything set up. JJ and Derek went with a police officer to get boxes filled with case files and other materials. Hotch talked with Detective Miller to get information on how her officers dealt with the unsub so far. While all this is happening, Spencer worked on the geographical profile, so the agents know where to look for the unsub. 
“What do these tarot cards mean?” Hotch asked the group. Everyone shook their head “no”, signifying that they had no clue what each card meant. 
“I’ll call Penelope and ask her about the meanings of the cards.” Derek said as he took out his flip phone to dial Penelope’s number.
“Live from Quantico, Virginia, it is the Divine Miss Penelope.” Penelope greeted the group. 
“Hey, sugar mama. I need something from you.” Derek said.
“Talk to me.”
“I need you to interpret the meanings of the tarot cards that were left at the different crime scenes.”
“Ah- I’ll be your little witch today. Hit me with have you have.”
“Alright, I’m putting you on speaker.” Derek puts down the phone on the wooden table, so everyone could hear what the technical analyst has to say. 
“Ten of Cups, Garcia.” Hotch said. 
“When upright, the Ten of Cups embody happiness, joy, contentment, and emotional satisfaction in your family, relationship, or companion. It represents an idyllic state of comfort, harmony, peace, and love which makes you feel like you are in paradise. When reversed, it could mean shattered dreams, disharmony, or a broken family.” Penelope explained. 
“Reversed Wheel of Fortune card.” Spencer called out. 
“When the wheel is reversed, it means that luck has not been on your side and misfortunes have been following you. When it's associated with this card, you must understand that these are due to external influences that you cannot control.” Penelope said. 
“Reversed Justice card.” Derek said next.
“A reversed Justice tarot card could indicate various things. One Justice reversal meaning is to show you are living in denial. You are not willing to accept the consequences of your actions or others. You are running from your guilt. You must, however, be aware that these are actions that are in the past. Other Justice reversal meanings could be injustice, retribution, dishonesty, corruption, dishonesty, unfairness, and avoiding accountability.” The technical analyst interpreted. 
“Lastly, the reversed Emperor.” JJ said the final card they had. 
“The Emperor reversed is a sign of abused authoritative power. In your social life, it can manifest in the overreach of power from a father figure or a possessive partner.” Penelope described the final tarot card.
With all the information in their heads, the BAU members felt puzzled about how to move forward. 
“How are these cards related to the crime scenes?” Derek asked. 
“It’s like a performance,” Penelope chimed in. Everyone turned their heads to listen to the cheery woman on the phone. “Like there is a story behind these killings. The cards are telling how the unsub is feeling. She wants us to know her story.” Everyone stood in shock when Penelope made a breakthrough in the case.
“Wait, Garcia. You said ‘she’. Why do you think it is a woman?” Hotch asked.
“Well, sir. The first victim was drowned, with no signs of sexual assault on his body. Doesn’t that usually indicate that the unsub is a woman?”
“Not necessarily but it is a quiet and efficient way of murdering someone.” Hotch explained. 
“Female serial killers are a fascinating field. We don’t have much information on them. But what we do know involves throwing the riles completely out of the window,” Spencer started going on one of his rambles. “For example, female serial killers typically don’t leave a signature.”
“But this one leaves tarot cards at the scene.” Derek pointed out.
“Maybe it was what Garcia said: she’s telling us her story.” JJ said. “Alright. Let’s start from the beginning. What could be inferenced from her childhood?” Hotch asked. 
“She could have had a domineering father who worked on Wall Street. And with that dynamic, he could have sexually and emotionally abused her, making her feeling like damaged goods.” Spencer explained the backstory of the unsub. “Also because the victims cheated on their wives, we could also conclude that the father also cheated on the mother, who always forgave her husband and tried to rationalize to stay for her daughter. And that made the unsub feel rage and being inferior. That she didn’t do anything to help her mother and herself.”
“But there is no indication of sexual gratification.” Hotch interjected. 
“However, there’s a reason why there are so many lacerations on the later victims. It could be the rage from her abusive father that this unsub is using against the victims, who acted like surrogates.” Derek said. 
“The stressor?” Hotch asked. 
“To follow her father’s footsteps, she may have also worked in the financial field. As a stockbroker, a financial analyst, or even as a secretary for a company,” Spencer said. “And as she continued at her job, she had a bunch of little comments and slights against her”
“As for the trigger, maybe she got passed up for a promotion by a male co-worker who was less qualified than she was.” JJ explained. 
“Any sane person would get miffed about it, but she’s built differently,” Derek said. 
“So much so, she killed five men so far.” Hotch said. 
“And she did it in an efficient manner where no one had any idea until now,” Derek said right after the unit chief. “But how did one woman kill five men in one borough and disposed of them in another?”
“She must know the area like the back of her hand. Brooklyn is what? Around 72 square miles?” JJ said in response to Derek. 
“Uh, 69.5.” Spencer corrected JJ. The blonde sighed, not surprised that the boy genius would know the exact measurement. 
“And the fact that no one has seen her either abduct or dispose of says she knows the city and its patterns well.” Derek said to continue what JJ had said before she was cut off by the boy genius. Just then, both Rossi and Emily had returned from the latest crime scene. In Emily’s hands were coffee cups on cardboard trays while Rossi had Chinese takeout. Everyone shared the food as they continued to work on the case. Being the little tease he was, Derek flung a wonton piece at Spencer, who was struggling to eat with the wooden chopsticks. The wonton piece gently hit Spencer’s forehead and the boy genius pouted, hiding his frustration at both the chopsticks and Derek.
“The M.E. said that the cuts were clean, no serrated edges. It would have to be a very sharp knife to be able to cut through human skin like nothing.” Emily said, to drive the discussion about the M.O.
“A knife like that could get the job done efficiently. Could be the work of a throwing knife. Take out the victim with a single throw to have them die quickly, then she stabs them to feel something.” Derek said. 
“Throwing knives? What is she? A secret agent of the Dai Li?” Rossi joked sarcastically. 
“From Avatar the Last Airbender?” Hotch retorted, remembering that his son Jack watches that show on Saturday mornings. 
“What’s Avatar the Last Airbender?” Spencer asked. Nobody bothered to answer the young man’s question. 
 “But this one is different. It’s like the more she kills, the more anger builds up inside and it gets released on the victim when she goes back in.” JJ stated. 
It became silent in the conference room, quite the opposite to the noise of the New York precinct in the evening rush hour. Tired from both traveling and working, Hotch could see that the rest of his team was also exhausted from the day. The unit chief called everyone to head to the hotel and rest, as they can always come back to the precinct tomorrow morning. 
Slowly one by one, each of the agents packed their things and get out of the New York precinct, and hopped into the cars, praying the soft hotel beds would lull them into a deep slumber.
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Day Three at the New York precinct. All the BAU members were getting irritated that they hadn’t proceeded much on the case. Derek tossed a small basketball up and down to pass the time. Spencer twirled a pen as he stared at the geographical profile, the gears turning in his mind. Both Hotch and Rossi were discussing the case quietly while JJ and Emily doodled on each others’ arms. The blonde was innocently drawing hearts and flowers until Emily came up with an idea. Feeling a tad mischievous, Emily took her sharpie marker and started to outline something on the media liaison’s left forearm. JJ raised an eyebrow, questioning what her co-worker was doing. As the image came together, JJ gasped softly, however, not surprised that Emily drew a vagina. 
Emily quietly laughed as JJ, annoyed by the brunette’s actions, took her sharpie marker and tried her best to transform the vagina drawing into a flower. Taking her time, and with only a sharpie, JJ showed off her artistic talent by creating a masterpiece: a carnation blooming out of a vagina.
Emily rolled her eyes when JJ stuck out her tongue at the brunette. Taking Emily’s right arm, the media liaison started to outline a grid for a game of tic tac toe. The brunette started the game by marking an “x” in a spot and JJ took her turn. The two women continued their game of tic tac toe and 
Everyone was silent in their own world until Hotch’s phone rang. The unit chief picked it up and it was a number he couldn’t recognize. Hotch silently motioned Derek to call Penelope to start triangulating the call’s location. 
“Hotchner.”
“Hello, Aaron.” A sultry voice talked. On the other side of the call was the unsub, Taylor Evans. 
“Seems you know my name.” Hotch asked.
“I researched you in preparation for this phone call,” Evans said. Through the phone receiver, Hotch could hear the soft whooshes of pages turning. 
“You reading a book? What’s the title?”
“Le monde comme il va by Voltaire,” Taylor closed her book. “Have you read his work?”
“No, I haven’t. You seem highly educated.” Hotch stated. 
“You seem to know a lot about me.” Taylor retorted.
“But I don’t know you that well since the start of this phone call.” Hotch responded. 
“What would you like to know?” Taylor asked. 
“May I know your name, for starters?” Hotch asked. A cold laugh could be heard through the landline speaker. 
“Evans. Taylor Evans.” the unsub replied. 
“Nice name,” Hotch complimented her to bring her guard down. 
“Now that we are acquainted, you can ask me questions.” the unsub’s content sigh could be heard on the landline. 
“Has life been hard on you?” Taylor asked, wanting to jump the gun. 
“I try my best.”
“Try my best,” Taylor said mockingly. “Is that the best you can do for your family?” A sarcastic tone filled Taylor’s voice, not liking what the unit chief said in response to her question. 
“With what I’ve got.” Hotch said. 
“You got any children?” Taylor said to divert the conversation. 
“I have a son.”
“How often do you see him?” 
“I try to see him every week.”
“Do you see him every week?” Taylor tried to put Hotch under pressure, to get him to crack. 
“No, I don't get there as often as I want.” A pitiful sigh was heard on the phone.
“I believe you, but don’t compare yourself to the men I see and work with. You are nothing like them. You’re just another whore.” Taylor said with such disgust in her tone. 
“How am I a whore?” Hotch asked. 
“You come when called on short notice. Begging to be put to work. Saving your reputation. However, even though you’re a workaholic, you make the time to see your son. You care for your son. You want the best for him.” Taylor explained. 
“You’re right. I do want the best for him” Hotch said. The unsub sighed, wishing that she had a good man, like Hotch, for a father.  
“Enough about you. What do you have to say about me?” Taylor asked the unit chief. 
“You've been betrayed so many times, You don't know who to trust, And that's why that first murder felt so good. But each one since has been less and less satisfying.” Hotch explained. 
“Good deductive reasoning,” Taylor said. “But how do you know if what I find provides me less satisfaction each time?”
“It’s a part of your nature. Until you hit a psychotic break and start devolving.” Hotch said. 
“Hm. Want to find out, Agent Hotchner?” She hung up on him after that last sentence. Everyone in the conference room stayed silent in awe. The unsub injecting herself into the investigation surprised all the agents in the room. 
“She contacted us,” Spencer said in astonishment, breaking the silence. 
“She’s getting impatient. Have Garcia look up everything on Taylor Evans. We need to find if she lines up with the preliminary profile.” Hotch instructed Derek. The olive brown-skinned man did exactly what the unit chief said: call Penelope and extract as much information as possible on the potential unsub.
“Her use of the word whore is interesting,” Spencer quipped. “It suggests she's trying to disassociate herself from her actions.”
“But she's become more personal with the murders,” Emily said. “This doesn’t make sense. She is contradicting herself.”
After gathering the information, and debilitating on the facts, everyone came to the same conclusion: Taylor Evans was their unsub. 
“Reid, tell Detective Miller that it’s time to deliver the profile.” Rossi said. 
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Every law enforcement officer occupied the main space of the precinct. All of the BAU members stood at one side, making it like a stage. JJ stood beside Emily, thinking to herself that she could have been this girl in a way. Both her and the unsub look eerily similar, maybe even mistaken for each other. 
“We wanted to give out the profile as soon as possible. We’re looking for a white female, between the ages of 20 and 25,” Hotch said to start the profile. “Her name is Taylor Evans. Dirty blonde hair with grey eyes. She’s organized, methodical, and knows how to blend in with the crowd.”
“When this unsub kills, she does so mercilessly and without an ounce of pity. She also wants her victims to know they are going to die by her hand.” Rossi said. 
“That’s why her preferred weapon of choice is throwing knives. They provide a clean cut. No mess required.” Emily said, slowly rocking on her heels. 
“With her choice of weapon, she can be quick and efficient with her kills, as murder is her only goal,” Spencer paused to catch a breath. “But all the bottled-up rage gets released when she goes in for a second time, post mortem, and stabs the body multiple times.”
“It is a way for her to get sexual gratification. And revenge, from her years of being emotionally and sexually abused by her father,” Rossi said. “The victims fit the description of her father and they are surrogates for him.”
“She is also a textbook psychopath, exhibiting all of the classic traits: incapability of feeling any empathy towards others, neither guilt nor remorse, and claiming no responsibility for her actions. Like others of her type, she is highly intelligent, manipulative, and narcissistic.” Spencer explained the unsub’s pathology. 
“Evans had received higher education. She graduated with a business degree, most likely a subconscious influence from her father. With the business acumen and the social skillset, this unsub can easily blend in with all the other business people and manipulate them.” Hotch explained, walked slowly around the large room. 
“Based on her background, she came from a wealthy family. However, the family wasn’t perfect. Her father constantly cheated on his wife. The mother always forgave him. As a young girl, Evans most likely has experienced emotional and sexual abuse from her father. It was a way for him to control his daughter, and she had resented that for years.” Emily said about the unsub’s childhood. 
“She mostly has experienced misogyny in her professional life. Had little comments and slights against her. Perhaps a less qualified male co-worker took a promotion that she deemed herself to be of a better fit,” Derek explained about the stressor. “Something in her work life triggered her to start killing the men who represented her father.”
“With this profile, we should search for Taylor Evans’ location and any potential victims. We suggest going public with the information as soon as possible… Thank you very much.” Hotch ended the profile with his parting words. Everyone at the precinct was disbursed from the room to get back to their work. The agents huddled together to prep themselves in case something big were to happen. 
“JJ, I would like for you to conduct a press conference,” Hotch said.
“Why is that, sir?” The media liaison asked. 
“I would like to draw her out. Have it known that we are after her.” The media liaison nodded her head in agreement and left the main room to work on getting a press conference together.
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Before entering the press room, JJ took a deep breath and exhaled to calm herself down. Thoughts were rushing in her mind. Don’t let them get to you, JJ. She neatly fixed her hair to seem presentable. Taking her golden heart necklace, the media liaison kissed it for good luck. 
The media liaison walked into the conference room with great confidence and stood behind the mahogany podium. Standing tall, JJ was not willing to lose a fight with the media, especially with a high-profile case. 
“Ok, can I have everyone's attention,” JJ said to gather the media’s attention to her. “Please, if you could just take your seats…”
“There have been a series of murders that appeared in random locations around Brooklyn. There is sufficient evidence that the victims were murdered on Wall Street then transported to their disposal sites.”
“We believe she may have experienced a psychotic break recently, causing the unsub to escalate to murder to regain a sense of control. You should increase your patrols in and around Wall Street… “
“Why would you focus your profile on the finance guys when the unsub has also contacted members of the FBI?” A male reporter interrupted the media liaison.  
JJ stood at the podium in shock. How could he know about that? We kept that under wraps. 
“I- How did you obtain that information?” JJ asked. 
“I overheard one of the cops saying it.” The journalist said casually. The blonde’s right eyebrow lightly twitched in anger. What couldn’t those cops just shut their mouths, JJ thought.
“What you heard from these officers isn’t true,” JJ lied to keep confidential information private. “Now, do you have any questions about the case?” A new wave of hands came up. JJ took a few more questions to answer. After a while, it was time to end the press conference.
“If anyone works in or around Wall Street, and sees anything unusual, please do not hesitate to call the number on your screen. Thank you.” JJ said her final statement, ending the press conference. As she walked down the steps down the small stage, a reporter called out her name.   
“Agent Jareau! I have something that may be of interest for you!” A different male reporter called out. JJ turned to face him, excepting the same male reporter from earlier. Trying to keep her anger inside, she greeted the news reporter with dignity. 
The male reporter handed the media liaison a letter. JJ took a look at it and was surprised at what she saw: the signature of their unsub. 
“How did you get this?” JJ asked the man. 
“It was sent to me yesterday, directly to the New York Herald.” The man said. JJ called for one of the officers by the wall to collect the letter for evidence. 
“We are going to take this in for evidence processing. One of the officers here will take you in for some questioning.” The man nodded as another officer whisked him away for interrogation. 
JJ sighed and went to search for the officer that unknowingly leaked information. She saw him with another cop, talking, against the wall outside of the press conference room. 
“That information was not for the public!” JJ said, angrily at an NYPD officer. 
“Listen, lady. I don’t know how and where he got the information from,” The beat cop explained himself. “He could have been creeping around the crime scenes or the precinct. 
“Keep your mouth shut, pal, as this case is private and under federal jurisdiction.” JJ huffed as Derek grabbed her shoulders and slowly tried to drag her away. The blonde complied with her co-worker, not throwing a fight as this was not her battle to fight in. 
Once Derek loosened his grips, the media liaison dashed out of the conference room to find her own space to calm down. 
JJ speed-walked once she was out of the hallway’s vicinity. She rushed into the nearest bathroom. Breathing heavily, the media liaison slowly walked into one of the stalls and locked the door. Taking a deep breath, JJ prepared herself for the biggest scream she would take in her life. 
“Fuck. These little shits. Those bastards. Assholes. Son of a bitch. Fucking shit. Why can’t they keep their mouths fucking shut! Those cocksucking motherfucking god damned jackasses!” JJ yelled at the top of her lungs. Her chest fell hard as the blonde was taking deep breaths. She felt better after taking out her anger by screaming. Feeling a little tired, JJ sat on the closed toilet and placed her head between her knees to calm herself down. A few minutes went by, and someone knocked on the bathroom door. 
“JJ… Are you okay?” Emily’s voice could be heard on the other side. JJ sighed while getting up. She opened the stall door and tried to make herself more presentable. Unlocking the silver lock, she opened the door slowly to reveal a relieved Emily Prentiss. 
“Ah–,” Emily gently grabbed JJ and brought her in a warm embrace. They stood together in that position for a few minutes before heading back to the conference room, where the others were, preparing themselves to capture the unsub tonight.
Later that evening, the BAU team, along with SWAT, raided a luxury apartment building in Downtown Brooklyn. Upon entering the only penthouse, Derek broke the door with his strength. The group of agents entered the area and in the middle of the living room, was Taylor Evans. Black mascara ran down her cheeks as she held a gun in her left hand and the final tarot card in the other. 
“Just in time for the show, agents.” Evans croaked. Her sad grey eyes filled with tears, her cheeks flushed from her mental breakdown. 
“Taylor… Listen. You’re young. You don’t have to do this. If you come with us, you can get a lighter sentence and live your life.” Emily said to calm down the broken girl. 
More time passed by as Emily and Spencer tried their best to negotiate with the unsub, but the end was already written. Taylor Evans planned to do an end game, one where she put herself out of misery. 
“I’m sorry….” the blonde girl whispered. In a swift motion, Taylor pulled the trigger onto herself and shot herself underneath the jaw. Her body dropped quickly but Derek ran up to the body to catch it. 
“Damn it,” Derek said. “She was young. Broken. Felt like she had to prove herself that she was something.”
“There was nothing we could have done to help, Morgan. She already had planned her end. She was long gone before anyone else could have noticed.” Hotch responded to Derek’s little monologue. 
Right next to her body was the Emperor card. A beautiful deep purple with gold lining depicting an emperor. The gold detailing reflected against the tall mirrors in the room. The card was reversed, like if she purposefully did that to tell the end to her story. 
taglist: @homosexualyearning / @ssajelle / @iconicc / @sunlightgalaxy / @jemilyology / @pumpkin-stars / @lgbtbau / @drinkingcroissants / @abbyprentiss / @pen3mily / @morcias / @hotchsbabygirl / @gravelyhumerus / @notsosmexy / @rxcklessly-bratty / @hqtchner / @girlbossjareau / @pagetsimp
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alwaysgurl43 · 4 years ago
Text
Her Missing Partner
 Word Count: 1564
Warnings: None that I can think of
Author’s Note: This is a #Beckettines21 gift for  @caskettinlove​. I tried to incorporate some of the things you love into it and this fits in to the timeline right before 4x22 (Originally it was going to split into the episode but my muse did not work that way. I did rewatch the episode just for you though:D) Enjoy!
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Coffee had always been their special thing. Even when nothing in the day went right or their case was nothing but dead ends- they always had coffee. Usually Castle was the one bringing it to her, but sometimes she returned the favor. But something about this case- the case of her missing partner- adding with the lack of caffeine that was making it where she couldn’t figure out the missing piece. She couldn’t come to terms with the missing piece. Or maybe she just didn’t want to come to terms with it.
Castle is the missing piece. Even when they don’t have active cases, he’s usually here trying to throw out anything to drive her crazy. But he hasn’t been here in almost twenty four hours. Kate’s eyebrows pull together as she stares at the murder board, filled with the information from the case they closed yesterday. Castle should be here. He always has a place to fit here like a missing puzzle piece fits into a puzzle, but it almost feels like he doesn’t want his place any longer. There’s something that is pushing him farther away, and the only thing that would make sense can’t possibly be true. The only thing she could think is pushing him away would be if he found out that she remembers, that she lied. But how could he?
“No Castle?” Espo’s voice cuts into her thoughts. While she might be missing hers, his partner is by his side. 
“Uh, I haven’t heard from him today. But where are you at with finishing up the write up?”
“Maybe don’t make him make the first step.” Ryan throws out, ignoring her question.
“What do you mean?” 
“Phones work both directions.” Espo tacks on before the two head off towards their own projects.
She knows the boys are right. She should reach out to Castle. Finding out what’s going through his mind, why he’s running from her, how to fix everything. Maybe, coffee can help with this too.
Standing outside his door, cups in hand, she realizes the thing she didn’t think about. How is she going to knock on the door with two cups of coffee? Moving from foot to foot, she finally stacks the cups on top of each other so she has a hand to knock. On the other side, she can heard noises, so someone is definitely home, she’s just not sure who will answer the door.
“Ka-Beckett? What are you doing here?”
“Thought my partner could use a caffeine boost. I figured you had to be writing.” She holds the cup out to him and could almost laugh at their accidentally twinning. The navy of his button down matches hers. Her jeans could literally be cut from the same cloth as his, apart from how skinny hers are. “Great minds.” She mentions, motioning towards their clothing.
“Yeah, something like that. Did I forget I had to be somewhere? I usually only get home visits if I did.”
“No. I mean not technically. We haven’t seen you in…” Kate trails off, not wanting to admit her tracking of how long it’s been since she saw him. “I thought I should check in on you.”
“I’m fine. Just busy. I have a life outside the 12th remember?” The words are harsh and unforgiving as they leave his lips. His eyes have gone icy instead of the ocean warmth she normally feels.
“What did I do, Castle?” She wants to fix this. She wants to make everything better so that she can have him back, her partner, her… her Castle.
“Why does everything have to be about you, Kate?” He counters harshly. 
“If it wasn’t about me, why are you so angry with me?” Kate can’t stop the hand that comes to rest on her hip. “If you need to yell, yell at me. But please don’t shut me out Castle.”
“Isn’t that how you prefer things to be done though? It wasn’t me that hid away for months. I leave you be for not even two days and suddenly you’re knocking down my door, making demands?”
“Because this isn’t you. You’re the dependable one. You’re the one I know that I can turn to when I need someone to bounce ideas off of or find a crazy theory that just might fit a case. You’re not the one who goes running. That’s me. I run, but I’m trying to get better. Trying to make it where we no longer don’t talk about the things that matter.”
“You’re actually wanting to talk about things now? Did you ever think it might be too late for that?” 
“I’m hoping it’s not. Because someone taught me that hope is a powerful thing. And I have a lot of it now. So whatever I did, talk to me Castle, because I can’t figure it out.”
Finally, Castle can’t keep it in anymore. “It’s what you didn’t do.” The words slip out on one breath. “Why couldn’t you just tell me? You lied to me for months instead of just telling me and letting me off easily.”
“Let you off easily? Castle, what are you talking about?” He knows she lied. But how he figured it out and when, she has no idea.
“Just because I feel a certain way didn’t mean that you had to. That wasn’t why I told you. I told you how I felt because I couldn’t live without you knowing. Especially when…” He trails off before starting a new thought. “But no one said you had to feel the same way. I get it- I’m frustrating and childish and there are times when I don’t know where the line is drawn. But even with all of that, I don’t think I deserved being lied to. You could have just told me Kate. I could have dealt with you not feeling the same way. But lying to me, for months? What kind of a partner- no what kind of a person does that?”
Kate can only focus on one part of what he said. “You think I lied to you because I don’t feel the same way?”
Castle seems to ignore this question. “You shut me out. It’s so common at this point it didn’t even surprise me. When things are hard, you run from it. But, if you had just told me, I would have gotten out of your hair.” Castle tacks on, running a hand through his own.
“That’s the last thing I ever wanted Castle.”
“What do you want then? Because I’ve tried looking at this from every angle and there’s none that make any sense. If you don’t feel the same, why keep me around?”
“No one said I don’t feel the same Castle.” Kate pushes a lock of hair behind her ear. “Well, no one but you.” A rarity happens with that statement, the writer lost for words. 
“I-you-what?”
“No one said I don’t feel the same way except for you.” Kate repeats the sentiment. Maybe it will click with him that she does feel the same, she just didn’t know how to bring it up after all this time had passed. 
“If that were the case, why did you lie?” Castle doesn’t seem to be letting this get his hopes up. He’s been dealing with this for the past few weeks. He’d already accepted that Kate would never be with him. So why now? Why say this?
“The same reason I built a wall. If I let people get close it risks them getting hurt and I couldn’t risk that, not with you Rick. I learned over time that if I was strong on my own, that others wouldn’t-couldn’t worm their way in to break me. It was easier.”
“It sounds lonelier.”
“Maybe. But I lost someone I loved when I was young. I didn’t want to risk that kind of hurt again. You said it yourself. I hide in relationships with men I don’t love. It’s easier than risking everything and losing it all.”
“So hiding, running, all of that is to stop your heart from getting hurt?” Castle prompts. Kate nods slowly, before taking a long sip of the latte that will always remind her of Castle.
“That’s what Dr. Burke says I’ve been doing too. What he’s been trying to get me to not do anymore I guess.”
“Dr. Burke?”
“My therapist. He’s been helping me for a while.”
“I didn’t know you were in therapy.”
“I didn’t want to make excuses anymore. I wanted to be able to face everything that happened that day and no longer run from it.”
“And are you there?”
“Almost. And that wall I was telling you about, I think it’s almost all the way down. I’d like my partner to be there when it comes down.”
“I’d like to be there too.” Castle admits.
“So will you come back? To the 12th? The boys miss you.”
“I think I can. If the boys are missing me after all. Can’t let them down.”
“Can’t let the boys down.” Kate repeats his sentence.
“Or my partner.” Rick says reaching for Kate’s hand. They don’t usually have big touchy feely moments, but in the small moments of being able to hold her hand or hold her close, he’ll take all of it. Kate smiles up at him as she gently squeezes his hand back.
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bellasweetwriting · 4 years ago
Text
Black Coffee
Spencer Reid x f.reader
(not my gif)
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Request: I just saw your post about wanting to write for reid. could i request a fluffy fic about reid falling for a barista at a local coffee shop and the. he realizes she also works at his favorite bookstore or record store? ahhh i’m sorry it’s a lot ! thank you in advance!
warnings: some criminal minds stuff but mostly just fluff
word count: 1290
— • • • —
Morgan and Emily arrived at the office with coffees for everyone. They started giving them out, and Spencer was the only one that questioned that selfless action.
"What's this?" Asked the Doctor, drinking from the black coffee that was given to him. "What's the occasion?"
"There's this new coffee shop around the block and Morgan and I decided to try it, then we bought coffee for the team."
Reid nodded. He knew which coffee shop they were talking about, and he had visited also but decided to keep that information to himself.
"Prentiss, Morgan—" called them Hotch—" thanks for the coffee. Everyone conference room. JJ has a case for us."
"And the day couldn't get better."
The team entered the conference room and sat in their usual seats, Reid was doodling the handwriting of the barista on his cup, unfocused of the victims in the screen.
"Three victims, three of them blonde, two seventeen-year-olds and one with forty six."
"How does that murder connects with the other two?" Asked Morgan. "We sure it's the same killer?"
"The two blondes, Amanda and Alice, were best friends and both had another friend who's the daughter of the forty-six-year-old woman called Marie. That’s how they were connected. Besides, it's the same signature, same way of placing the body on the ground... same guy."
"And how does her daughter look like?" JJ projected the photo of a seventeen-year-old girl with brown hair. "Huh... interesting. Wheels up in 30."
— • • • —
The team caught their unsub. It was the daughter Gabriella’s boyfriend Jason who found out that her friends were talking bad behind their back and her mother was abusing her psychologically. He was trying to get rid of all the bad and hypocrite people in Gabriella’s life, thinking by killing them he was saving his girlfriend from these double-sided people on her life.
"I think we should celebrate, " interfered Garcia with a tiny smile, "we have work tomorrow so no drinks but, the coffee shop you mentioned is still opened. We can eat some doughnuts and I'm definitely craving for a lemon cake."
"It's too late, baby girl, " said Morgan, "tomorrow morning."
No one joined Penelope’s plan except Reid, who quickly stood up when everyone left and reached Garcia on the elevator.
"I'll join you, " he said in a hurry, and she smiled. "I’m starving for some coffee"
"Me too. The coffee this morning was so good." Spencer nodded. How could he tell her he wasn't going to that coffee shop only for the black coffee they served.
Both sat down at the counter and started talking about the case and how they caught the guy. Spencer tried to show Penelope how Morgan entered the unsub’s house with the sugar bags and she cackled as she heard how Derek almost tripped with a piece of furniture as he was going to catch the guy.
"Doctor, " you called him from the other side of the counter, confusing Garcia, "if I didn't know you better I would’ve said you are following me." Garcia quickly noted how Spencer got nervous. "But as I said, I know you. Black coffee."
"Please, Y/N, and a latte for my friend Garcia."
"The tech analyst?" You questioned.
"Actually, technical analyst, but close, " corrected you Spencer with a tiny smile. "How you’ve been, Y/N? What happened to the record store?"
You used to work at Reid’s favorite record store, and before that, you worked at his favorite bookstore. You kept crossing paths with him. Now you worked at the coffee shop near the BAU office.
"Got fired. I put Pink Floyd on the speakers of the store and I accidentally poured coffee on the controls and destroyed the panel." Reid laughed, nearly choking on coffee. Garcia looked at him really confused.
He has never spent so much time without spilling random facts or acting weird. He was acting cool and that was weird from him.
"That's such a Y/N thing to do." You giggled.
"Oh, Morgan and Prentiss were here yesterday and you are completely right, he does flirt with every girl." Reid nodded after you finished telling. "It's so good to finally meet you, Penelope, heard so much about you."
"Same thing, Y/N." And with that, you left to another table, leaving Garcia and Spencer alone. "Who is she?"
"You can't tell the team, Garcia, " said quickly the doctor as he inhaled deeply. "As soon as I tell them about her the tiny amount of privacy I've gained this last three months is going downhill."
"Ok, fine, I won't. This is why you wanted to come here?" He nodded. "You like her!"
"Shh!" Spencer quickly shushed her friend with his eyes wide open. "Don't shout, Garcia!"
"I can't believe you like her, " she whispered, excited about this new discovery. "You talked to her about us?"
"Yeah, " Reid murmured with a tiny smile forming on his face, "she’s the best and she listens to everything I say, including the nonsense babbling. Do you think I got a chance?"
"Uhm, yeah! She’s crazy about you. You should ask her out. Look, I'm gonna go with my lemon cake and my coffee to the office so you can be alone with her." Reid quickly started shaking his head but Garcia was already leaving. There was no coming back.
A few seconds later, you approached the daughter placing the rag on your shoulder, glancing confused over Spencer who seemed really nervous.
"Everything good, Doc?" You asked and he gave you a nervous smile. "What's up with the tech?"
"She had to leave. Work on a case, " he lied even though he was a terrible liar.
"Shouldn't you be leaving too, then?"
"Oh, no, no... it wasn't my case... it wasn't... it was hers, " he stuttered making you chuckle a bit. "Hey, Y/N."
"Spencer, " you called him too to release the tension.
"Would you want to go out sometime?" He asked quickly, taking to by surprise.
"With you?" He nodded. "I would love to. Actually, my shift ends in ten minutes. You maybe wanna catch a movie or something?"
"I would love that."
— • • • —
Spencer arrived late to work the next day, he looked tired and he had bags under his eyes, barely even able to stand on both feet.
"What train ran you over, pretty boy?" Asked Morgan, getting the attention of the whole team. "You look terrible."
"Thanks, Derek, " he said trying not to close his eyes. "I stayed up late."
"Adding numbers or some?" Questioned Derek again sitting on top of Spencer’s desk.
"I had a date."
Those four words gained the attention of everyone. Spencer Reid had a date. That couldn't be possible.
"Oh my God! She said yes!?" Yelled Garcia and Reid nodded with a smile. "I knew it!"
"You know this girl, Garcia?" Asked Emily and Penelope nodded.
"Yeah, I do, " admitted her while Reid smiled. "How was it, Reid?"
"We went to the movies, then we had food and then I drove her home and kissed her." Penelope couldn't hold the excitement. "Calm down, Garcia."
"When are you going out again?"
"Tomorrow, " replied Spencer. "I went to the coffee shop this morning and asked her out again. She said yes and gave me a black coffee with my name on the cup."
"You asked the barista out?" Questioned Emily. "What's even going on?"
"She drew a little heart next to the «r», " whispered Penelope with a big smile, almost melting by the action. "She's perfect."
"I know, " whispered Spencer, drinking from the cup with a tiny smile, thinking of what happened the night before with you.
requested by: @artcozy
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