#i usually dont reblog stuff like this but its way too close to home to not. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

seresinhangmanjake · 2 years ago

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I posted 849 times in 2022

That's 849 more posts than 2021!

175 posts created (21%)

674 posts reblogged (79%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ereardon

@babyrooster

@jakeseresins

@opalinedaydreams

I tagged 239 of my posts in 2022

#jake seresin - 191 posts

#jake seresin x reader - 172 posts

#jake hangman seresin - 150 posts

#top gun maverick - 132 posts

#jake seresin fic - 129 posts

#jake hangman seresin x reader - 127 posts

#top gun - 117 posts

#jake hangman seresin fic - 102 posts

#jake hangman seresin x y/n - 90 posts

#top gun jake seresin - 70 posts

Longest Tag: 51 characters

#i dont drink enough water to have a favorite bottle

My Top Posts in 2022:

Just a Little Weak

Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader

Summary: You are Penny’s new bartender and she warns you to stay away from one particular pilot, so you do your very best to please your boss. It is only when Penny goes out of town for the summer, leaving you in charge of the bar, that the pilot finally makes his move, and you finally give in.

Words: 3446

Warnings: 18+ no actual smut, but it is alluded to.

Notes: its more fluffy. not proofread, allusions to smut, curse words and stuff.

You had worked for Penny all of three weeks when you saw him for the first time. She had warned you, as she taught you to pour the draft beers correctly to get the perfect amount of foam, that the guys from Top Gun all had very…unique…personalities. Each lieutenant was extremely different than the last. Bob was sweet, in that innocent sort of way. Rooster was a good man, once an agitated wreck at the idea of her boyfriend, Mav, being his instructor, but now they were on great terms. There were a few other guys with Penny’s glowing reviews that she hinted, with a sly wink, were more than suitable boyfriend material. And then there was Jake. The one Penny referred to as Hangman with an edge to her voice that she struggled to curb.

“Don’t bother with that one, honey,” she had said. “He’s a cocky asshole. Good at his job, don’t get me wrong, but not the one for you if what you’re looking for is a good man.”

You had assured her that you weren’t looking for a man at all. You just wanted to settle down in a nice town, in the quaint little beach house you rented, and work a simple job in a simple spot with customers that would do nothing but bring a smile to your face. And if this Hangman guy wasn’t going to contribute to bringing forth those smiles, then you weren’t sure you wanted to deal with him in the slightest. But then you met him.

You didn’t know his face since Penny didn’t have pictures of the newer pilots in her back pocket, and when he walked in the bar with laughs from his lips and coworkers in tow, you immediately locked eyes. Your knees wobbled and you nearly dropped the glass you were wiping out. He had paused in place too close to the doorway, making his friends bump into the edges of his shoulders to get around him as they whooped and hollered over some victory and started up the jukebox.

At some point, he moved; his gaze still upon you as he made his way over to the bar, but Penny inserted herself in front of you, her arms crossed when she said, “What can I get you, Hangman?”

“Uh…” came out in a light drawl that sent a shiver up your spine as his eyes were torn from yours and forced onto Penny. “Just the usual,” he said, and Penny gave a quick nod before directing you to go to the supply closet to grab some extra cleaning supplies. That closet was close enough that, even over by it while completing your task, you could overhear your boss and the only man to have made your stomach flip in the last three years heatedly chat.

“Leave her alone, Hangman,” Penny quietly snapped as she set his beer on the counter in front of him with a slight bang. “She’s a good girl. Not your type.”

The blond man snorted and crossed his toned arms. “Why do you act like you know my type? Because I took one girl home from this bar one time? It’s not my fault that she didn’t listen when I said it only be a hookup; nothing more.”

“That girl was my last bartender, and she came to work crying, trying to drown her sorrows in too many shots right before she quit. And I will not let the same thing happen to my new bartender, who took me six months to find, just so you can get your dick wet.”

“Wow.” He snatched his beer from the bar and took a sip. “I always knew you had a mouth, Pen, but that was extra special.”

“I mean it.” Penny pointed a long finger at his chest and gave him a poke. “If you so much as look at her,” she began, and the pilot rolled his gorgeous green eyes.

“She works here. I’ll have to look at her eventually.”

“Then don’t look at her the way you did when you walked in here just now,” she snapped. And while you loved your new boss, in that moment all you wanted was to slap a palm over her mouth. But Hangman obeyed the owner of his favorite bar…for all of one week.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You sure you’re okay to lock up, honey,” Penny asked as she scurried about the empty bar looking for some of her belongings. “I just need to hurry home and pack so I’ll be ready when Mav picks me up for this trip.”

“Don’t worry, Penny.”

“I’m not, I’m not,” she rushed out, still running about the place to make sure she had everything. She was usually much tidier with her things; you didn’t understand how she managed to misplace so much in just one day. “And you think you’ll be okay the run this place for the weekend? It’ll be busy.”

“I promise, I’ve got it,” you chuckled, wringing out the rag you used to wipe down the bar.

Finally gathering all of her things, she let out an exhausted breath, stopped, and smiled at you. “You truly are a lifesaver, Y/N.”

“Just glad I can help.”

“Well, thank you again. Make sure you don’t stay too late.” And she was out the door.

It wasn’t five minutes before you switched the jukebox back on and pressed the button for Jim Croce’s Time In A Bottle, and began to stack chairs on top of their tables as you hummed to the tune you knew so well.

“Closed already?” That voice sent a shock up your spine as it had every single time it graced your ears, and you whipped around to see the handsome face of the man who had shot you many a flirty glance in the past week. He tried to only look at you when Penny wouldn’t see, only to avoid the annoying lecture had she caught him, but every time you looked up his eyes were glued to you. He’d smile and wink and then return to his game of pool.

You snickered and placed another chair on the tabletop. “You know very well we close early on Thursdays.”

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1,936 notes - Posted June 14, 2022

A First and a Second

Dad!Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader

Summary: It’s just soft Dad!Hangman from start to finish. And cute marriage stuff.

Warnings/notes: some curse words thrown in. I think that’s it. Idk, folks. I just thought it was cute. I know there’s got to be typos and all that stuff. Pregnancy.

Words: 2190

A First…

Jake took it harder than you did when you found out you were pregnant the night before he was to be deployed for a year. The doctor had confirmed that morning that you were only a few weeks along, and the thought that he wouldn’t get to watch you grow with his child, or dote on you, or feel his baby kick, completely destroyed him.

You promised to send him pictures of your belly swelling, and videos of the little bumps that would show when your baby was kicking. You swore you’d inform him of everything the doctors said after every appointment, but all that did was remind him that you’d also have to do that alone. Get to and from appointments by yourself, get to the hospital by yourself, go through labor by yourself. By the time he would be back, your child would be around three months old, and there was nothing he could do about the millions of moments he would miss.

You reassured him everything would be fine, to which he had only nodded in response, but you knew he was unconvinced. It wasn’t a lack of confidence in you and your ability to take care of yourself that stressed him, it was simply that he wanted to be there, he wanted to see it all happen day-by-day. He wanted to take care of you and watch your child come into the world.

Truthfully, you had wanted that as well. After he left, in every picture you sent or video chat the two of you had, you put on a brave face. But when the calls would end, you’d cry for an hour and whisper sweet words to your baby bump of how wonderful Jake was. You told your baby stories about him, about how you met, about how annoying you used to find him, about how talented he was; and you continued to share bits and pieces of your and husband’s history until the day you gave birth to your son.

-----

“He looks even more like you in person, doesn’t he?” you asked as you watched Jake lay eyes on his son for the first time. The baby was fast asleep and Jake didn’t want to wake him, opting instead to glue himself to the side of the crib and lean over the rail, gently running a knuckle along the infant’s pillow-soft cheek.

“He’s got your nose,” Jake whispered, tracing the curve of the tiny nose with the tip of his index finger, then proceeded to do the same to the cupid’s bow of the sweet mouth, “and your lips.” He stood straight and faced you, “Which I fucking missed, so kiss me again.”

He was on you before your next breath, pressing his lips to yours for what felt like the hundredth time that night, not that you were complaining. Being without him had been a complete nightmare. Your son’s Seresin temperament had yet to kick in, so luckily the baby was easy, but you still needed your husband. You missed his taste, you missed the feel of his body pressed up against yours, the curves of his muscles under your fingers.

“Alright, we have our own bedroom, mister.”

“Sorry,” he pecked your lips once more. “I’m just so happy. I’ve got you back,” he said as he looked back at your son, an indescribable expression taking over his face. “And we made something…amazing.”

“We did.”

“He’s so perfect.”

“He is.”

Jake’s eyes met yours again. “I want another.”

Your jaw dropped, and then you chuckled awkwardly. “I literally just had your son.”

“I know, baby, I know, and I love him so much, I love you so much, but we need a girl.”

“A gir—can we let this one grow a little first?” You motioned in the general direction of the baby.

Your husband had the audacity to pause in consideration, so you smacked at his chest. He laughed, green eyes lighting up—the same eyes he now shared with your son—and he said, “I suppose we can wait a day or so.”

“Good lord,” you groaned, fingers massaging your temple to relieve the ache. Two! You now had two Seresin men to deal with. “You’re lucky I love you, Jake Seresin.”

“Don’t I know it.”

-----

And a Second…

“Caleb, honey, don’t get your sister dirty,” you called from the kitchen, voice travelling to the small children in the backyard through the screen of the open window above the sink.

“Mommy, Ella likes to be messy,” your son called back, shrugging his slim shoulders, “I can’t stop her!”

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2,207 notes - Posted July 28, 2022

Lazy Mornings and Whatnot

Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader

Words: 1591

Based on this ask:

couldn’t find a Hangman gif that made any sense for this, so please enjoy this sin of a picture ;)

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2,351 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

Wanting it all

Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader

Summary: Hangman ends up in the hospital from a very similar Phoenix/Bob/birds situation, and you suddenly regret keeping a big secret from him.

Notes/Warnings: it’s pure fluffiness. future dad!hangman, near-death stuff, I guess. Cursing, im sure. best friend Rooster! In anything top gun related i write, there is likely to be something incorrect. I only saw the movie once and it was back in May, so I try my best but i don’t remember the details of everything.

Words: 2833

When you got involved with Jake Seresin, you knew exactly what you were doing. You knew what it meant. You understood the sacrifices. You accepted that there was an element to your life that would always contain a well of fear. You knew, because he was very careful to be clear when he laid it all out for you.

Before you, Jake didn’t do relationships, but he told you there was a piece of him that fought against that choice, a piece that was desperate to have you and call you his, a piece that forced him to make an exception. In the same way, you had made an exception for him in being a part of the life he led, with all of its trials and tribulations that a man not in his profession wouldn’t demand of you.

But it was not something you ever had to mull over. When he told you how a life by his side would be, you had already decided that he was what you wanted. Come hell or high water, you would be with him as long as he also wanted you.

“Not wanting you isn’t something you will ever have to worry about, sweetheart,” he had told you, “Wanting you was as much a choice consciously made as it was something completely out of my control. My heart decided for me, and my mind willingly agreed. So don’t waste time worrying about that.”

But there would always be other things to worry about: the dangers he faced, his health, his safety. Those nagging pieces were tucked away in the corners of your mind, never quite leaving you in peace. And then for the first time since you made the thing between you official, Jake had come horribly close to not coming home to you. Some stupid birds almost got your boyfriend killed, and now more than ever, it struck you at your core.

---

Returning with oddly soft, quiet steps for a man of his size, Rooster sat beside you in the uncomfortable plastic chairs under the harsh florescent lighting and dumped an array of vending machine snacks on the small table between you. Bags of chips to tubes of candies to packets of gum made a mountain that you would slowly pick at for the rest of the day; and to say you were relieved to see the junk food that wouldn’t nutritiously sustain you for more than an hour would be a gross understatement.

“I didn’t know what you wanted, so I just got a couple things from each row,” he said, and you nodded your thanks, grabbing a random bag of chips and tearing it open. He watched how severely your gaze was glued to Jake. “If it’s any comfort, he could be in much worse condition.”

But it wasn’t any comfort, unfortunately. Pain medications, exhaustion, and mild trauma to your boyfriend’s body had him completely passed out in the hospital bed; and he’d been that way for hours, asleep in misleading peacefulness even before Rooster got the chance to call you and tell you to come down to the hospital.

You knew Jake would be fine. But not yet seeing the green of his eyes or hearing the deep sound of his voice pricked at your nerves. The kind nurse's reassurance was not enough to soothe you, leaving you no choice but to wait for him to wake.

Rooster nudged your elbow with his, drawing you out of your daze, and you turned to him. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. It would have been out of character for you; maybe not so much when you were dealing with Jake, but Rooster didn’t deserve such a reaction from you. Not when he had practically adopted you as his little sister and did everything he could to protect and take care of you when you needed it most.

“You mean other than my boyfriend having to eject from his jet, which according to what I was told, crashed into a mountain less than five seconds after he got out?”

Rooster winced. “Yea,” he said, scratching at his jaw, “…other than that.”

You faced forward, eyes training on the ugly beige coloring of the wall as you put a chip in your mouth. You chewed, swallowed, sipped your water, then took a deep breath and said, “I’m pregnant.”

“Wha—” Rooster’s head whipped to you, and the candies he had been picking away at fell from his hand, M&Ms of all colors scattering across an equally ugly, beige tiled floor, but neither of you cared. “Are you sure?”

You snorted. “Pretty sure.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean for that to sound insensitive,” he blew out a breath and ran his fingers through his hair, “It’s just—”

“It’s fine, Roose. I asked myself the same question about fifty times before the doctor confirmed it.”

He nodded. “How are you feeling? Wait, does he know?”

You shook your head, considering before saying, “I am happy, though. Absolutely terrified, but happy. I just don’t know how he’s going to react.”

Rooster took your hand in his and laid his other on top until a warmth encased your fingers, but the act made it all the more difficult to hold in the overwhelming tears you didn’t even know were at the ready to fall. “Shocked at first, I’m sure.”

You sniffed and wiped at your cheeks.

“But anything less than absolutely thrilled would be hard to imagine.”

“Can you know that?”

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2,417 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Touch and Go

Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader

Summary: You and Jake had been sleeping together for months, and as sure as you were of your feelings for him, you were unsure of his for you. He, however, certainly knew how he felt about you, and after you decide to go on a long trip without telling him, he lets you know just exactly what’s on his mind.

Notes/warnings: 18+ (No Minors!) public smut, fingering, angsty-ish stuff, fluffiness, love confessing and all that, self-doubt, insecurities, cursing-type language, best-bud Rooster (not really a warning but I love him). This was not supposed to be this long at all, but ya know, things happen and unexpected stuff (smut) weasels its way into your careful plans without permission, which I personally think is rude, but here we are.

Words: 4101

The moment you realized you had fallen in love with Jake “Hangman” Seresin, you were disappointed in yourself for an entire three months. The relentless teasing and flirting had worn you down, and while he didn’t seem to know he succeeded in making you feel something for him, it made that fact no less true.

But you didn’t know if he felt something for you. Sure, he showed his hatred when other men approached you with some suggestive smirks on their lips, but you always figured that was more of a possessive tick so that he could keep his fuck-buddy his fuck-buddy, and no one else’s. You knew how unfair it was of him to expect you to stay by his side while he went around flirting with anything that had an ass and decent tits, but you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away. If he wanted you, he had you, at any time, any place, and you felt like an idiot for it.

When you first met, his flirting irritated you to no end. Being friends Rooster and Phoenix quickly brought you into the little group of pilots, and it took all of thirty seconds for Jake to descend upon you with his winks, and grins, and appreciative stares that traveled up and down the form of your body.

Back then, his attitude and cockiness repulsed you. For weeks you did your best to stay away from him, but he always managed to find you, pulling out his charms in full force until the day came when you started to find them less annoying and more exciting. And after you started sleeping together, being around him was something you couldn’t stop yourself from craving. It wasn’t just his cock that made you surrender every time he asked if he could come over to your house, it was the way he was with you after. Once you were both sated, laying next to each other with heavy breaths in sync, he would roll over on the mattress, wrap his arm around your waist, and tug you closer until your back was to his chest. Then he’d kiss your exposed shoulder and nuzzle his nose against the line of your neck before passing out.

Those nights, often as they were, began to make you think he had some variation of feelings for you, but the mornings would come and he’d be gone. You’d banish all hopeful thoughts of mutual affection until the next day when the two of you found one another again and repeated the same little game.

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3,430 notes - Posted June 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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smolgloves · 3 years ago

Note

13! "what if i didn't catch you?!" (if you're still taking prompts ofc!!)

So this turned out longer than I thought lol. Also I wanna give a shout out to @obwjam because I wrote this based on a prompt she did for a star wars au she did awhile back. I have it reblogged below.

FORCE WIELDER

Many borrowers think living in the jedi temple is reckless and dangerous. They say the jedi can sense a borrower deep within the walls, plus, most jedi keep their living quarters in pristine condition, but after living within the walls for months, Ahsoka figured those stories were just a myth. The jedi are hardly in their rooms, making it easy to just grab stuff when needed. And while a lot of the jedi were neat freaks, there was one jedi who usually had a messy room…

Ahsoka could never remember his name but it was something along the name of Sky guy. He was a human that loved to tinker on gadgets in his spare time. There were all sorts of screws and scrap metal lying around, also out of all the Jedi, Sky guy was the one who was least likely to ever be in his quarters.

Sky guy wasn't scheduled to be back for another few days, so Ahsoka knew she had plenty of time to borrow some stuff she needed for a new ascension cable she was working on.

So she made her way through the air vents until she reached Sky guy's room. She had the vantage point to see the entire room. On the nightstand by his bed, Ahsoka could see some scrap metal lying around. Perfect for what she needed! So the tiny Togruta used her primitive grappling hook to make her way down to the floor. After unhooking it, she made a dash to the nightstand and climbed her way up it.

~~~

Ahsoka spent hours working on that ascension cable, trying to get it to work. But for some reason, it didn't want to shoot out! Ahsoka was so preoccupied that she almost didn't hear the door open. Immediately, Ahsoka dropped her stuff and jumped off the nightstand. She tucked and rolled once she hit the ground and dashed under the bed.

Black boots lazily entered the room and began walking over to the desk, but Sky guy only took about three steps before he stopped.

A feeling of dread washed over Ahsoka, telling her that Sky guy knew she was here. He turned over and headed over to the nightstand, Ahsoka backed further into the shadows. She knew she had to get out of this room.

"What's this?" Sky guy muttered.

Drat! How could she have been so stupid and leave the grappling hook on the nightstand?! Ahsoka had to weigh her options, could she slip by undetected to the door? No, he was already too close, even if she was as stealthy as she prided herself to be, he had the high ground and would spot her a mile away. The only other option would be to get to the air vent. But it was so high up, even if Ahsoka jumped from the desk there still wasn't a confirmed chance she'd make it to the vent even if she jumped!

But it was her only option as Sky guy was already kneeling down to look under the bed. Ahsoka slipped out from the bed and made a dash to the desk. Fortunately, Sky was still examining her previous hiding spot but it wouldn't be long before he would wander over to the desk. She channeled all the energy she could to jump up to the top of the desk, then made a break for it.

"Huh?" Sky guy had finally stood up and turned towards the desk. He knew of the little borrower now. But Ahsoka had already leapt up in the air by the time he saw. She was practically flying to the vent at this point, just a little further and she would be home free!

But suddenly, she stopped. A feeling of weightlessness flowed through her body, Ahsoka was floating in midair! She glanced over at Sky guy who had his hand stretched out towards her, his blue eyes staring right at her. Then a force seemed to push her towards him, a sense of dread formed in Ahsoka as his fingers curled around her once she got near. Once his fist closed around her, she knew she was as good as dead.

Sky guy stared down at Ahsoka, his brown brows furrowed as if he was trying to examine her. "You're just a kid."

"And what about it?!" Ahsoka snapped. Fear was fading and being replaced with anger. She began throwing punches at his fingers, hoping by some miracle he would drop her.

But Sky guy just sighed and walked over to the desk and sat down. He immediately deposited the little borrower in front of him. "Now don't mo-!"

But Ahsoka already made a break for the edge of the desk again, this time she would make it to the vent above her! However, a gloved hand slammed down in front of her and she crashed into the palm. Surprisingly, he didn't try to grab her again, instead he let her skitter back away from hand. Ahsoka looked up at him, who had an annoyed look on his face.

"Nice try, but You're not going anywhere, I have a lot of questions."

Ahsoka crossed her arms. "And who says I got answers?"

"You know, you're pretty snippy for someone who's not even five inches tall." He chuckled. "Which I gotta say, I didn't know Togrutas could be borrowers."

"You… know about our kind?"

"Well not much... the jedi temple doesn't have a lot of information about your species." Sky guy explained. "But I'm pretty sure you're the first borrower that was reckless enough to live in the temple."

"It's not like it was hard!" Ahsoka spat out. "I've been taking things from your room for months and you just noticed!"

"Because you got reckless." Sky guy held his hand above her to show the faulty ascension cable.

"That's mine, give it back!" She demanded.

"Gotta say, you made quite a good replica of the Clone troopers' ascension cables, but I'm sure you needed it for that jump you tried to do."

"It wasn't working." Ahsoka gritted her teeth. "It's not like I needed it, anyways."

"Didn't need it?!" Exclaimed the Jedi. "Do you even realize how far that fall is for your size! What if I didn't catch you?!"

"I would have made it!" She snapped.

Sky guy responded with a scoff. He was doubting her abilities and that only made Ahsoka's blood boil more!

"You think I haven't fallen from heights greater than that?! But I've always managed to land on my feet somehow!"

Sky guy raised a brow. "What do you mean by somehow?"

The borrower shrugged. "I'm not sure how to explain it, anytime I've fallen, I just have a feeling that tells me the best step to surviving the fall."

Sky guy pondered on her words before his eyes slowly widened. "You're force sensitive!"

"What does that even mean?"

"Listen, as soon as I walked in my room I felt a presence. It was like a little voice telling me you were in here, and I bet you did too!"

"That doesn't mean anything!"

"Oh, yes it does! You're strong with the force!"

"I think you need to update your borrower history, Sky guy! What you think is 'the force' is actually just borrowers learning how to maneuver."

"Alright Snips, maybe you're right. Borrowers are just durable creatures, but you know what isn't durable?" Sky guy smirked as he dangled the ascension cable over the edge.

"Dont!"

He released his fingers and the contraption descended to the ground, Ahsoka shouted and reached her hand out, she felt something powerful flow through her as if she was connecting her reach towards her cable. Instead of it hitting the ground and breaking, it floated in midair, and then slowly made its way to her feet. The energy drained from her and Ahsoka fell to her knees. "That was exhausting!"

"You need training, little one." He said. "I should report this to the council."

"No!" Ahsoka gasped. "I refuse to be known by anyone else!"

"But you can't just run around without control over your powers." Sky guy explained. "If the wrong people got a hold of you, it could be very bad."

"Please, don't tell anyone about me!" Desperation was in her voice.

Sky guy pondered on her words for a moment, then a sigh escaped his lips. "Alright, I won't tell anyone… but only if you let me train you."

"Are you serious?"

"You don't want to be known, and you'll be taught by the best Jedi Knight in the galaxy." He flashed her a smile.

"I don't know…"

"How about I help you fix your ascension cable too, and give you anything you need to make other gadgets."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

Part of Ahsoka told her to run and not trust him. But she was immensely curious about her newfound powers. "I suppose a lesson or two wouldn't hurt."

"Great!" Sky guy exclaimed. "We'll get started tomorrow, but can I ask for your name… unless you don't mind being called Snips?"

"It's Ahsoka!" She scoffed.

"Well I'm Anakin Skywalker, but typically a Padawan addresses a teacher as master."

"Don't push it."

Anakin chuckled. "You should rest now, regain your strength for tomorrow. I can place you on the bed if you'd like."

Ahsoka shook her head. "I don't feel comfortable being grabbed."

Anakin nodded. "Then hold on, and I'll find something to sleep on."

He left the desk but Ahsoka had already laid her head down. Fatigue had taken over her body. Who knew that the force would be so psychically and mentally draining, but maybe with some training, Ahsoka could be as powerful as Anakin Skywalker.

#writing #mine #giant male #tiny female #ask #borrowers #star wars #star wars the clone wars #ahsoka tano #anakin skywalker #the clone wars #gt #giant tiny #giant/tiny #giant #tiny #g/t writing #g/t #gt talks

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barnesandrogersfanfics · 4 years ago

Text

Ocean Eyes - Part 10

A/N- Another update??? What is going on??! hope you all enjoy this part 💕 Please like/share/reblog.

Within days of being back home from our weekend at Chris's the lockdown was announced and I spent a day packing up some of mine and Masons belongings that we might need while staying with Chris. While i was feeling very nervous about having to spend this time with Chris, Mason was over the moon! He was so excited that we had to go stay with Chris and Dodger.

Chris arrived early with Scott and they loaded our things into Chris's car.

"This is gonna be so much fun!" Scott said happily.

"Are you staying at Chris's too?"

"I am!"

"Oh god that means you're gonna be trying to get me drunk!"

"Well duh!" He laughed shrugging like it should have been a given.

"God help me you two are gonna be trouble" Chris said shaking his head as he helped Mason into his carseat.

"You knew what you were getting yourself into".

While Chris and Scott started bickering i turned and saw Brian coming out of his house, he stood and watched us and then started to walk towards us.

"Oh shit.... quick lets go, Brians coming over!"

"This guy!" Chris said through gritted teeth shaking his head and looking a little pissed off.

"Morning neighbour!" Brian called out, i turned and gave a quick wave.

"You and Mason leaving?"

"Yep, we're gonna ride this out with family" i nodded and felt Chris wrap his arm around my waist and pull me closer to him.

"Come on sweetheart we should go"

"Yeah sure, take care Brian"

"Wait, you look so familiar...." Brian suddenly said looking more closely at Chris "where have i seen you before?"

"I just have one of those faces, i get that a lot" Chris shrugged casually opening my door for me.

"Yeah maybe..... hey Y/N, i was thinking after this lockdown is over maybe you and i can get dinner...."

Was he serious right now??

"Dude really??!....." Chris snapped looking at Brian shaking his head.

"What?"

Chris closed my door and stood towering over Brian as they exchanged words i could no longer hear. Chris was soon strutting round to the driver side of the car while Brian stood there looking pissed. I turned to look at Chris as he got into the car, he was fuming. He started the car and pulled away onto the road, his grip on the steering wheel so tight his knuckles went white.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked him quietly.

"I will be knowing you and Mason are away from that creep"

"What did you say to him?"

"We'll talk about it later, i don't want Mace to hear"

"Okay, but can you please try and calm down....."

"Im Fine"

"Tell your face that, plus you're kinda white knuckling the steering wheel there....."

"Sorry.... sorry. Im fine really...." he loosened his grip and gave me a tight lipped smile.

"Always so protective" Scott chuckled from the back seat earning him a glare in the rear view mirror.

"Scott i swear to god...."

"Come on boys behave, this lockdown hasn't even started yet and you're bickering"

"You sure you don't wanna go stay with Ma....." Chris muttered at Scott making us all laugh.

The first week of lockdown quickly passed, there was no news on when the lockdown would let up so we were all just enjoying our time together.....It was just like old times. I called my mom and Hannah everyday just to check in and have some female conversation but other than that it was just me and the Evan's boys in our little quarantine bubble.

I was in the kitchen making breakfast when Chris walked in sporting a new haircut..... the buzzcut was back!

"Wow...... you've shaved your hair...."

"Yeah" he run his hand over his head blushing a little "fancied a change, its been a long time since i can just cut my hair when i want"

"Right, Marvel owned it before"

"No...."

"You know i'm right" i shrugged "i always did like the buzzcut look though"

"Yeah i remember....." he smirked.

"Morning family!" Scott said loudly walking into the kitchen "What happened to your hair??"

"Fancied a change, plus now i haven't gotta worry about my hair everyday"

"You know that actually sounds kinda smart..... have you seen my bed head??"

"Kinda hard to miss Scotty" i snickered behind my hand looking at his hair that was sticking up left, right and centre.

"Maybe i should do it too"

"And me!" Mason said smiling big at us "i want hair like dads too!"

"Oh my god Chris what have you started..."

"Sorry...."

"No its fine, its only hair. It'll grow back right.... i guess now is as good a time as any for a haircut".

After breakfast Chris took Mason for his hair cut while i showered and dressed for the day. The next time i saw them all three were sporting buzzcuts and i had to admit it was very cute!

"Let me get a photo of you three, this is just too cute to pass up" i smiled grabbing my phone. I snapped a few photo's and forwarded them to Chris and Scott before setting one as my lock screen and slipping my phone back into my pocket.

"Oh my god i love this.... i'm gonna get this blown up and framed on my wall" Chris smiled looking at the photo.

"Let me get one of you three" Scott jumped up and pulled me towards the sofa where Chris and Mason still sat.

"Oh.... we dont have to do that....."

"Come on, it'll be nice to have at least one photo of the three of us" Chris said looking up at me with those damn ocean eyes of his that always made me week.

"Okay, sure" i nodded taking the seat next to Mason.

"Move in a bit closer....." Scott said trying to get us all in frame, we both leaned in closer to Mason and smiled while Scott took the photo.

"Oh i'm good..... this is great you guys" Scott said before both our phones were receiving photo's from Scott. I couldn't help the smile on my face when i saw how lovely the photo had come out.

"Okay you did good, i love this"

"This ones going up too by the way" Chris looked at me with a huge smile.

"You don't have to do that...."

"You kidding me? I want to"

"Fair enough, its your house. I just don't think your girlfriend will appreciate it much".

"Okay..... who wants lunch??" Scott asked loudly interrupting, it had suddenly got a bit awkward at the mention of Lindsey so i just got up quickly and followed Scott into the kitchen.

Once Mason was in bed for the night the alcohol came out. We watched some old movie (that Chris found hilarious) played some card games which somehow led to childish drinking games and before we knew it we were all pretty wasted!

"Right you guys i'm going to bed, i physically can not drink anymore" Scott said getting to his feet and stumbling making Chris and I laugh.

"Dude you're such a lightweight" Chris rolled his eyes at his brother.

"Shut up. Goodnight.... love you both"

"Night Scotty, love you" i smiled up at him from where i was laying on sofa.

"Night bro, love ya".

Chris and I sat in silence for a few minutes, just the sounds on the TV playing in the background.

"You want another beer?" He asked getting up from the armchair he had been occupying all night.

"Sure, i'll have one more before bed".

While Chris went to grab the beers i sat and reached for my phone to make sure i hadn't missed any messages from my mom or Hannah. There was a photo from Hannah that made me laugh just as Chris walked back in with the beers.

"Hannah just sent me this photo..." i said to him turning my phone to show him a photo of Lucas who now had a buzzcut.

"Haha! Oh god i really started something didn't i?" He laughed looking a bit guilty.

"I sent her a photo of Mason's new haircut earlier, she said Lucas wouldn't shut up about wanting the same.... looks like he got his way"

"You gotta admit it looks cute though?"

"Yeah okay i'll give you that. Mason is like your little mini me, even more so than usual"

"He’s just missing the beard"

"I think we've still got some time until that happens" i laughed "you definitely have strong genes Evans.....that boy literally inherited none of my looks"

"No but he's got your attitude and sass"

"Hey!"

"Im kidding.... mostly"

"Ass" i muttered shaking my head at him before taking a mouthful of my beer.

"He might look like me but his personality is all you sweetheart... he's an amazing kid"

"Yeah he is, id be lost without him"

"I kinda love having you both here" Chris added avoiding eye contact with me.

"Its been nice, just remember its not permanent...."

"I know, i know" he nodded quickly "you know when i came in and saw you laughing at your phone, my first thought was that it might've been Derek.... i hate that guy and i don't even know him" he scoffed "how sad is that?"

"Chris....."

"I know, its none of my business who you date or whatever"

"You're right it is none of your business. But just for the record, there's nothing going on with Derek, we were gonna go for dinner before this lockdown stuff but i haven't spoken to him since"

"Oh...."

"Can i ask you something?" I turned to face him, he looked up and nodded finally looking at me.

"Why isn't Lindsey here?"

"What?...."

"Why isn't Lindsey staying with you? I mean you guys are obviously serious if you came looking for that divorce but she isn't here....."

Chris looked away again coughing to clear his throat.... was he nervous??

"Lindsey isn't here because i ended it"

"What?... when?"

"When i found out i had a son. When i saw you again and realised anything i thought i felt for her was a lie"

"Are you fucking with me right now?"

"No. Im just being honest. Y/N, i know i fucked up when i ended things with us.... it was the biggest mistake of my life and i regret it everyday.... but i never stopped loving you. Not for one god damn second...."

I suddenly felt very sober, my heart pounding in my chest.

“You’re just saying this because you’ve had too much to drink...” i muttered shaking my head.

“You’re probably right, doesn’t mean its not true. Ive just been keeping it to myself” Chris suddenly got up and came to sit next me taking hold of my hand “i know my timings sucks but i just needed you to know..... and i just need to know if there is any chance at all that you’d give me another chance.....”

“Chris i really don’t think now is a good time to talk about this.... we’ve both had too much to drink..... if you’re serious about this i think we need to have this conversation sober”

“But you’re willing to have that conversation?”

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow” i nodded pulling my hand free and standing up “i’m gonna go to bed.... goodnight”.

I had to put some distance between us before i did something id regret in the morning.

It was safe to say i wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes

Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @melissaglenn5 @denisemarieangelina

@mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie @christocrave

@jakiki94 @torntaltos @buchanansebba

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #reader insert #ocean eyes #steve rogers x reader

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foxtophat · 4 years ago

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i dont have much to say about this one!!! it’s just a story about carmina’s tenth birthday, and how the town of fall’s end is coping a decade after the collapse. uhhh there are some random children in it? bean is there! and of course john shows up, too, because that’s KIND OF THE POINT of mercyverse lol

technically there’s a story that comes before this, but i don’t have the vibe yet for it so i haven’t worked on it in a while. instead, i’ll probably just keep moving forward and throw up that one if the rest of the plot becomes at all relevant to the real main storyline. uhhh the next one will take place in the spring of 2029 and we’re going to start getting into some fun stuff that i’ve planned out for a while!!!

until then, uh, the usual: love you, please like/share/reblog/kudos/comment, whatever you feel good about doing, because i sure do love to share my universe with other people! hope you’re doing well and hopefully i’ll see you with another fic in a few weeks!

also as usual: the story text is below the cut for those of you who wanna stay on tumblr :)

It's Carmina's tenth birthday, and there's a party in town. The two things aren't exactly related, sure, but Carmina's used to sharing her birthday with the Collapse, and she's not about to turn down a bunch of free food. How can she not go to a real Hope County barbecue after her parents had hyped the experience up so much in the bunker? She'd hoped that her ninth birthday would have gotten a similar treatment, but the town just didn't have the food or people for it at the time. Her parents had told her that next year would be better; Carmina does her best to keep her imagination from blowing the whole thing out of proportion.

They leave a little bit after breakfast. Since John is coming along, mom has no excuse not to let Carmina ride in the back with him. He's not excited to be heading into town, but then again, the town isn't usually excited to see him, either. And considering what day it is, they're likely to be extra rude to him. Carmina doesn't get it, honestly, but she's just glad that she can ride in back without her mom grabbing onto her at every pothole and bump in the road.

The first surprise of the day comes as her dad parks just past the church, giving her a chance to stand up and look out over the town. She hasn't been here in a while, and so she's surprised to see that they've cleared out a lot of the dirt lot behind the usable buildings — and there are a lot of people hanging out there. Carmina's never seen so many people at once — she loses count around twenty and can easily guess double that. It's enough to rattle her nerves for just a second, before she catches the looks on her mom and dads' faces and realizes that this is probably a good thing. Sure, John looks like he wants to hop back in the truck and go home, but he always looks like that around strangers. Her parents, on the other hand, actually seem happy for once, and that's what matters to Carmina.

The second surprise is just how many of the adults seem to know her. Her parents move slowly through the mingling crowd, usually coming up with names for faces before Carmina's even looked at the strangers who call her by name. She gets lots of comments like, "I remember when your parents were expecting you!" and "I was wondering how the Rye's little girl turned out!" and even a few, "Glad to see you made it," comments that make her parents side-eye each other pretty fiercely. She doesn't need to introduce herself to anyone, not even people who her parents don't know so well — it's like everybody's always known her, and her family. It's kind of cool — but also kind of weird. Pastor Jerome always said that their family was a pillar in the community, but this is first-person evidence, right here in front of her.

Plenty of the adults wish her a happy birthday, too, but she knows their hearts aren't in it. It's one of the big drawbacks to sharing her birthday with the end of the world — nobody asks how old she is, nobody wants to know what she did on previous birthdays, and all of them have to make some kind of depressing comment. Like trying to get her to relate to birthdays before the Collapse: all they want to do is tell her about all the things she could be doing, or would be doing, if only the world hadn't ended. They want to share their birthdays from the past, but Carmina's never been to the movies, she doesn't know who Disney is, and she has no idea why they'd need a cake and candles for it all. Somebody tells her she should be graduating to the fourth grade, and she just stares back because what even is the fourth grade? What does that mean?

They mean well, so Carmina does her best not to upset anybody, but she knows that nobody appreciates how little she cares about life before the Collapse.

At least there are other kids in town today. Her mom had been telling her about some of them — kids who don't have families, who the town looks after — but Carmina's only ever met one of them, and that had been only for a few minutes. But Carmina can see them hanging out in the field, and as soon as her mom lets her, she heads right out to them. It's about time that she met people her age — she's getting tired of only ever talking to old people.

Of course, meeting strangers is still difficult for her, but she's saved from too much embarrassment as she recognizes the chicken brothers hanging out in the small group. She can't remember which one is Tom and which one is Matt, but they seemed really nice when they helped her pick out her chickens. She also recognizes the oldest boy in the group, although she can't remember his name at all. She's never seen the others before — two teenage girls, another boy her age, and a kid a couple years younger than her — but hopefully she won't make a total fool of herself.

"Hi," she says as she approaches, waving.

"Hey, Carmina," Matt-or-Tom says, stepping aside to make room for her in their makeshift circle. "I thought we would see you today."

"Yep," Carmina smiles, "Here I am!" She sees the teenagers' curious looks and tells them with little fanfare, "Today's my birthday."

"Oh," the oldest boy says. "That sucks."

One of the girls elbows him. "Don't be mean," she says.

"No, he's right," Carmina says. "It does suck."

"Well, happy birthday anyway. How old are you now?"

"Ten."

"Wow," the girl says. She looks at the boy, then back to Carmina, and says sympathetically, "You weren't kidding. That's rough."

Giggling with relief, Carmina waves once more. "It's okay. My name's Carmina, by the way. It's nice to meet you."

Being polite works like a charm, and the oldest boy is quick to go around with introductions. "Well, I'm Jason — this is Caroline, and this is Flower. The little kid there —"

"Hey!"

"— Is Bean, and... Sorry, man, what did you say your name was again?"

The other ten-year-old looking boy frowns and shoves his hands deeper into his pockets. "Luke," he says.

"Okay, Luke. And you know Tom and Matt."

"We were talking about the bison out in the field," Tom-or-Matt says. He points in the direction of home and asks, "Did you guys see the big one when you were coming into town?"

"The one that's all white?" Carmina asks, "With the big scar over its hump? We see that one all the time when we come out this way —"

"No, no," the other brother says, "Jason says there's a bigger one."

"I told you guys," Jason says, "I only saw it once, and it was late at night while I was up in the crow's nest. I don't think it comes out during the day."

Carmina frowns. "What big one? What do you mean?"

"Oh, boy," Caroline sighs, "Don't listen to him, Carmina, he's full of shit."

"Hey, language," Flower laughs.

"Look, I was pretty far away, but I had the sniper rifle and I wasn't sleeping on the job. Uh, so..." He points out over the field, towards a squat set of huts surrounding a tall, busted silo that's still standing. The view from up there must be great. "Jerome has me sit up in that tower sometimes, you know, to practice. So I was up there, looking around, and it was probably midnight or so... and I just see this glow out in the field. I think it's a fire, right? Maybe somebody made a camp out there on their way to town or something. So I look out through the scope — and it was a bison."

"A glowing bison?" Carmina asks skeptically.

"Yeah. Like, a monster bison. It was all dark and scaly looking, except for the way its belly glowed. I thought about shooting it, but..."

Caroline laughs. "He got scared. Or it wasn't real, and he's making it all up."

"I wasn't scared, and I'm not making it up! It's not like it could've hurt me up in the nest. It... just didn't feel right. You know, it was just grazing with the rest of the herd. And it moved off over the hill before I could change my mind or call anybody up to confirm it."

"Sure, Jason."

"I'm serious," Jason insists, "I really saw it, okay? I told Jerome about it and everything." He frowns at the dirt. "He said it might've been mutated after the bombs. Then he told me not to go looking for it."

"He's right," Flower says. "Even regular bison are pretty dangerous." She smiles. "That's why I like deer — they won't hurt you. If you sit really still, sometimes they'll even come up and lick your face."

"Oh," Carmina says. "I usually just shoot them. They eat all our vegetables otherwise."

"Yeah," Flower sighs, "Sometimes I do, too. But they're also nice to watch."

Tom-or-Matt looks to his brother. "I wonder if that's what we see outside at night?"

"What, deer?"

"No, dumbass." He turns to the group and explains, "Sometimes, when it's real late and I gotta use the bathroom, I'll see something glowing out in the woods. Dad's cut back a lot of space so it never gets very close, but... maybe it's another mutated animal."

"At least you'll see it coming when it tries to attack you," Carmina suggests.

"Gee, thanks."

Carmina knows he's probably teasing, but she still feels guilty for being so blunt about it. The least she can do is try to reassure him. "Well... most animals don't attack near houses, I don't think. When we first came out of the bunker, there were wild dogs and wolves that would watch us, and my dad was real worried about them — but now they mostly stay away from the property. I think it's because of the fence. You guys have a fence, right?"

"Yeah, plus a butt-load of chickens that freak out over anything out of the ordinary." Matt-or-Tom grins at her and asks, "Don't they wake you up with every little thing?"

Carmina briefly considers mentioning John being attacked, then decides against it. She also doesn't want to tell them that the chickens live mostly indoors at night now — the last thing she wants to do is kick off a whole big thing about the cult on her dang birthday! It's already hard enough pretending to care about them around her parents; she's not sure she could even force herself to bother here. And if she's not careful, the kids in town might start to think about her and her family the same way all the adults do.

"They're pretty docile, actually," she says, "And we only really see deer around our place... It's not like they eat chickens."

"Well.... maybe there's a mutant deer out there that wants to eat you," Tom-or-Matt teases.

Carmina rolls her eyes. "I'll shoot it before it gets past the hangar," she replies.

Of course, her dismissive confidence leads to a sprawling discussion on who might be the best shot out of the group. Carmina does her best to defend her skills, considering she can't prove any of it right now, but all three teens insist they're dead-eyes, and even Bean says he's "getting pretty good at the aiming part." On top of that, the kids from the town have gotten pointers from Aunt Grace herself, which means they might actually be better shots than Carmina expects.

"Maybe we should have a competition," Caroline suggests. "I bet Pastor Jerome and Aunt Grace would be okay with it."

"Sure," Jason laughs, "But you know they'd make us spend forty minutes disassembling and cleaning our rifles before and after. Like I don't know what I'm doing — I'm almost fifteen!"

"Have you guys been to Aunt Grace's?" Carmina asks. "She has a shooting range there."

"Maybe she'd let us use it!"

"I've never been to a real shooting range," Bean says.

"It's not a real shooting range," Jason points out, "Those all got blown up. Do you even know how to use a gun, Bean?"

"I just said I do! My dad taught me! I... just don't like the loud noises it makes."

Matt-or-Tom boasts, "We learned to shoot in our bunker. Mom collected Airsoft guns — they don't use bullets, so they can't kill you."

"What's the point of that?"

"I dunno, I guess practicing underground?"

Tom-or-Matt laughs. "Dad was convinced the Peggies were gonna get us, so he wanted us to know how to shoot."

The quiet kid, Luke, finally speaks up. "Lucky," he mutters, "Easier to learn underground, I bet."

"What about you?" Carmina asks. She tries not to cringe away when he stares back at her like he didn't expect anyone to hear him. Maybe he doesn't like people talking to him? "Um... my mom and dad had a bunch of gun magazines in the bunker, but I never got to shoot a real gun until we came outside. Mom and Aunt Grace have been teaching me, though, and I'm way better than my dad is."

Luke hesitates. "Kind of the same. We came up early, though. Had to."

"Me, too," Jason replies. "It was just me and my brother. I was five when we got stuck in the bunker — we went through our supplies in about three years, so we had to come back up."

"We... only stayed down until I could walk," Luke admits. "It was still really cold when we came up. And mom got real sick for a while."

"Yikes," Bean says, "That sucks!"

"Come on, bean," Jason snaps, "You don't say that."

"You just said it to her!" Bean shouts, pointing at Carmina.

"He's... right," Luke mumbles. "It sucked. It... still sucks. But things are getting better now." He looks up at them, then drops his eyes back to the dirt. "Sorry."

"Don't be," Carmina insists, "I asked first!"

"That's kind of the mood today," Caroline adds. "Don't worry. We can talk about something else."

The change in topic comes abruptly as Bean points towards the Church and asks, "Who is that with Pastor Jerome?"

Carmina doesn't need to look, but since the rest of the group does, she might as well too. John has his hat pulled low over his eyes, as usual, which makes him look suspicious, as usual. Knowing him, he probably didn't even leave the truck — just waited there for Jerome to come talk to him.

She can only hope that Tom and Matt keep their mouths shut since they're the only other kids who know what John looks like nowadays. Unfortunately for her, that hope is pretty quickly dashed.

"Oh," Matt-or-Tom says, like a jerk, "That's John, I think. Right, Carmina?"

"Wait," Jason says, "You're that Carmina?"

Carmina ducks her head. "Um... it depends, I guess?"

Flower, looking too sympathetic for Carmina's liking, tries to mediate. "He just means, well... Jerome talks about you sometimes."

"And he talks about that guy," Jason adds, pointing without any subtlety at all.

"Everyone talks about that guy," Caroline says with a sigh. She gives Carmina a sympathetic shrug as she does, as though she wishes she could stop the conversation from happening, too. That only makes Carmina worried that this isn't the first time the teenagers have sat around gossiping about John and the crazy people who decided to take him in.

"Wait," Bean gasps, way too loudly, "That's John Seed?"

"Oh my God," Matt-or-Tom sighs, "You gotta keep up with the conversation."

"Wait, what's he doing here? Why's he going into the church? I thought he wasn't supposed to come to town? I thought he was locked up!"

Carmina groans. "It's my birthday," she whines, "I don't wanna talk about John today!"

"We don't have to," Caroline says. "Guys, come on."

"I mean, he did kill a lot of people. Isn't he, like, a psychopath? Isn't it weird to live with a murderer?"

"Jason!"

Luke mutters, "I heard he used to cut off people's skin."

"That's true," Jason replies, "My brother has a huge scar from when it happened to him. Boy, I hope he doesn't see that jackass is here..."

Matt-or-Tom finally seems to realize what he's started, frowning as the conversation spirals crazily out of control. It's too late to stop it, though, and so he shuffles his feet and looks apologetically towards Carmina.

Fine. If she can't get around the subject, she's just going to have to tackle it head-on. Even if that sounds really scary. She doesn't think that these guys are going to flip out like the caravan last year did, but she's still a little worried that she might be in for a fight if she says the wrong thing about John.

"I know John used to be a bad guy," she says. "Like, really bad. My dad's got one of those scars, too. But he's not like that any more. All he does nowadays is help my parents with chores and stuff. And he's just like everybody else — he doesn't talk about what happened before the Collapse to me or anybody. So I really don't know anything more than you guys.

She probably knows less than them, honestly, but she's not about to say so and get a brutal lesson in everything John's ever done wrong.

"So he's just... different, now?" Jason asks, frowning unhappily at the church.

"I guess so," Carmina replies with a shrug. She looks over to make sure that John and Jerome are inside, just in case. "He's not... scary, or mean, or anything like that. Just quiet. Kind of... lonely, I guess. Ever since he found out his brother is alive but still crazy, he's been really beat up about it." He's also been literally beaten up over it, but now's not the time to try and make the others feel sorry for him. John would probably be irritated at the idea of a bunch of kids pitying him.

Matt-or-Tom is quick to help her out, which is nice. "She's right," he says. "The Father is still out there in the woods with all those crazies, but John's repented. Dad said he made amends with God, whatever that means. He... uh, still doesn't like us being around him, but when we helped him load the chickens in he seemed okay. Just real quiet."

"That's John, alright," Carmina sighs.

Bean looks seriously disappointed by the news. "You mean he doesn't talk about it at all?" he asks.

"No," Carmina says, snapping for good measure, "And he gets really upset when you ask about it, so don't."

"I'm not gonna go talk to him!" Bean gasps.

The idea that a kid might be scared of John is pretty funny, considering how uncomfortable he is around her, but Carmina's not about to say as much. John probably wouldn't like her sharing a weakness like that with a bunch of strangers, and she wouldn't want them using it against him later.

Flower slowly lifts her hand, looking embarrassed. "Some of the adults in town say the Bliss messed him up. Is that... true?"

Well, at least she's trying to be nice about it. "I dunno," Carmina admits. "He was super weird when he first started living with us, but that might've just been because he was stuck in his bunker for so long."

"Oh, that happened to a guy my dad knows!" Bean supplies helpfully. "Dad calls it bunker shock. Says living underground too long is bad for you when you're all alone!"

"Glad I didn't live in one long enough for that," Luke says. When everyone looks at him, he clams up for a second before continuing on. "A neighbor came up just this year. He's... real weird. I don't like him much. He still sleeps underground, hoping he'll wake up and it'll all be a dream." He scuffs his boot against the dirt, sniffing loudly. "That's what my mom says, anyway. I try not to be around when he comes by."

"He wouldn't be the first adult to be like that," Jason says. He gives the church one last look before nodding his head towards the party. "I mean, that's why we're all the way out here, instead of hanging out around the food. Right?"

"No," Bean replies, "I'm out here 'cos I can't eat another bite! I didn't know you could be this full."

Caroline laughs. "Yeah, the adults have been stockpiling for weeks, it looks like... I guess everyone was really looking forward to it — or, well, I guess that's what it is."

Flower gazes over at the gaggle of adults. Carmina recognizes her dreamy smile from the way her mom looks around the house sometimes, like she's getting a new, better look at the place.

"It feels like things are starting to look up," she says. "Maybe they can all be happier now."

"Hey, don't jinx it!" Tom-or-Matt laughs.

Bean looks around at the rest of them and for a second, Carmina is worried he's going to ask more about John and restart the whole ugly conversation. Thankfully, it looks like he's still a baby, so he's quickly distracted.

"So, what do we do now?" he asks, pushing his too-big glasses up his nose.

Carmina has never actually played with other kids before, so she doesn't have any good suggestions — especially when shooting is off-limits. Thankfully, she isn't the only one. The teenagers don't know where their soccer ball went, and Luke says he doesn't even know what soccer is. Bean says he usually plays word games by himself. When Tom-or-Matt suggests they play something called "capture the flag," it manages to make its way to the top of the list just because Jason and Caroline have both heard of it before.

Well, at least something is better than nothing. The older kids explain how capture the flag works, using Jason's shirt for their team's flag while the other kids band together around Matt-or-Tom's sweaty tank top. Carmina imagines that one of them should sit out for even teams, but the older kids seem confident that they can handle it. Too confident, in Carmina's opinion — maybe they need to be brought down a peg.

Capture the flag turns out to be more fun than Carmina had expected — and a lot harder, too. Trying to outmaneuver the older kids is tough work, but she and Tom-or-Matt figure out how to flank them pretty quick. There's nothing better than the moment when Carmina manages to dive out of the way when Jason tries to tackle her, and even if she gets dog-piled by Flower halfway back to Bean at home base, she holds Jason's shirt up for another teammate to take.

Unfortunately, the game ends without a winner as a sharp whistle pierces the air. Bean looks up and shouts, "That's my dad! I better go!"

He runs off at full tilt without so much as a goodbye, and Carmina has to squint against the setting sun to watch him go. She hadn't realized how late it had gotten.

"I should probably get going, too," Luke says, sweaty and almost smiling for once. "I want to get another plate of food before we go home."

"Ugh," Carmina sighs, "And the chickens need feeding."

"Just make John do it," Matt-or-Tom says, apparently not learning his lesson about mentioning John.

"It's supposed to be my job," she says. "And anyway, he already feeds them in the morning when I don't get up in time."

"They're gonna like him more than you," Tom-or-Matt laughs.

Jason frowns. "He feeds your chickens?"

"I mean... yeah. He does whatever we need him to." Carmina shrugs, glancing back towards the church. She hasn't seen Jerome or John leave — maybe she should go see them before she rounds up her parents? Nah, it's better to leave them alone until the very last minute.

"Just... didn't think you'd let him near livestock, that's all."

"What's he gonna do, poison the eggs?" Carmina huffs. "He's good with them. I think he likes them 'cos they aren't judgey."

Caroline frowns, which tells Carmina she might've been a little rude. But Jason's been rude about John all day, so she's not going to feel sorry about it!

"Well, I guess if your parents trust him..."

"Sure they do," Carmina replies, even if that's not... exactly right. She knows her parents trust John enough to help around the house, but she thinks they only want to trust him with all the other stuff.

"I really better go," she says, pointing towards town.

"Sure," Flower says. "It was nice to meet you, Carmina."

Carmina gives them her best grin, relieved when it's returned from the others. Jason even waves like there's no hard feelings. "It was nice meeting you guys," she says.

"Happy birthday again!" Matt-or-Tom says, "And be careful!"

"Yeah," his brother laughs, "Wouldn't want to have a glowing deer attack you in the outhouse tonight!"

Carmina laughs away the dumb attempt to scare her, waving goodbye before turning to head for the party. Halfway there, she glances over her shoulder and sees the group turned back to one-another in conversation. None of them are looking back, but as she continues on, she's chased by an unfamiliar sense of discomfort. She can't help but wonder if they're still talking about John in the church.... If they're talking about her.

At least she can distract herself while looking for her parents. There are plenty of adults who say hello; some of them even point her helpfully towards her mom's last known location, or towards the table with the cookies her dad really liked. Some of them check in to make sure her birthday has been going well, too, which is nice of them, but a lot of adults are pretty drunk and deep in their own conversations.

She eventually finds her mom and dad standing around a grill with Marjorie, one of the adults in charge around town. Carmina's met her a couple of times. She's nice, but she can talk a lot. There's no telling how long they've been talking for, and if Carmina doesn't interrupt, who knows when they'll finish. While she could probably grab some food for the road, first she has to make sure that they're actually going to be leaving sometime before the next Collapse.

Besides, it looks like her dad's already got a box of leftovers in his hands. If Carmina wants to eat, she's going to have to interrupt.

"Hey dad," she says as she comes up to them, "The chickens are going to need dinner soon."

Her dad grins at her before handing over the squat, open cardboard box. There's chicken, ribs, corn and roasted potatoes, and even a handful of cookies and flatbread; it takes everything in Carmina's power not to make a desperate grab for more food. She doesn't have to worry about going hungry tonight, so there's no need to eat everything put in front of her.

"Here," he tells her, "You take this, alright? My arms are gettin' tired."

Yeah, right. As soon as she takes the box, he uses one of those tired arms to grab one of the ribs. When Carmina frowns suspiciously at him, her dad only shrugs.

"I coughed on it."

"Uh-huh..."

Laughing, her mom reaches out to give Marjorie a hug. It might've run a little long, but her mom obviously enjoyed the talk. "We'll be back in a week or two with the tractor parts," she says. "You're going to get the fields back in shape in no time."

"Already got a good start," Marjorie replies. She shoots Carmina a warm smile. "Happy birthday, by the way! Don't think I got to see you much. Hope those kids weren't giving you a hard time."

"No," Carmina replies., "They're all really nice. We want to practice shooting together, maybe have a contest. Jason said he's better than anybody else."

"I bet you're gonna give him a run for his money!" Marjorie laughs. "Well, the better a shot you are, the better off you'll be. You won't see anybody here stop you kids."

"Yeah, but tonight, I have to feed the chickens," Carmina says, just in case her parents need another chance to get out of here.

"We've got a few other people to say goodbye to," her mom tells her. "Why don't you take the food back to the truck? We'll meet you there."

"Should I get John, too?"

As soon as she asks, Carmina decides she probably shouldn't have brought it up. Too late, though; by the look on Marjorie's face, there's no way to pretend she didn't hear it.

Her dad shrugs. "Probably oughta," he tells her, as if he doesn't see Marjorie staring at them like she is.

Marjorie definitely doesn't like that, judging by the way she squints, but she doesn't say anything about it. "Well, I hope you had a decent enough birthday for once," she says, "Hopefully we'll be having a party around this time every year from now on."

"That would be nice," mom says.

"Just you wait, we're gonna turn this ship around one way or another." Marjorie gestures with her hands and says, "Alright, you better go, before those chickens of yours eat each other."

Carmina frowns. "They don't do that, do they?"

"Uh, let's get moving," her dad says. "See you soon, Marg."

"Take care!"

Her mom and dad have to stop a few more times to say goodbye to people Carmina doesn't know, but she pushes on without them and nobody stops her for more than a quick birthday greeting. She catches sight of Luke packing up some food with his parents, but he's too distracted to notice her. At least she isn't the only one carrying a box of leftovers out of here; it would feel selfish of her if they weren't sending leftovers home with other people.

Her parents haven't caught up with her by the time she reaches the truck, and John is nowhere to be seen. She figures he's probably still in the church — he and Pastor Jerome always take forever when they're talking. They'll probably be there until dad goes in and breaks them up.

Eating by herself in the back of the truck doesn't feel right, especially not within walking distance of the church. Leaving the food tucked in the corner by the cab, Carmina heads for the building herself. Even if nobody was in there, she'd probably go wander inside for a few minutes; it's a comforting, quiet place in the dry, dusty town. But right now, she's pretty sure John is hanging around inside, and he probably hasn't eaten anything all day, either. She should at least let him have first pick.

She knows a lot of the adults dislike the church, but Carmina personally enjoys how its sun-bleached siding stands out against the sky. Besides the house, the church is one of the few places Carmina wishes she could have seen in one piece. She's seen old, faded pictures from ancient newspaper clippings, but it's just not the same.

The doors are open wide enough for Carmina to slip in without a sound. The air inside is cool, almost chilly, and it smells like dirt and grass. From the entrance, there's only a narrow gap keeping Jerome and John out of sight. She doesn't mean to hide, but she doesn't want to interrupt Jerome mid-sentence...

It's too late, she's eavesdropping.

"It might not be much, but it's something," Jerome's saying. "He even stayed a few nights, when the wind got bad and brought too much pollen over the river."

"It would be better for everyone if he stayed here permanently," John replies. "Wallace went further down the path than the rest of them, and they clearly don't know what they're doing."

"They're trying, John. And we don't have a say in the matter. It's got to be his choice. Remember?"

John grunts, clearly annoyed. Carmina doesn't think she's ever heard him say so much before. Does he talk to her mom and dad this much? Is he really only quiet around her?

"I don't like it," John says.

"For what it's worth, neither do I. But Sharky's taking things seriously — they all are. You're going to have to trust them."

"Trust isn't exactly one of my virtues," John grumpily admits.

Jerome chuckles. "You just need practice."

Well, Carmina definitely feels guilty now. She had only been waiting for an opening, but if she waits any longer, she's really going to be breaking John's trust. Pastor Jerome's, too, for that matter.

Thinking on her toes, Carmina pushes on the already open door as though she's just showing up. Of course, the hinges squeal in protest as soon as she does, so she stops before she breaks something.

"Are you guys still in here?" she calls. She's pretty convincing about it, in her opinion.

"Yes, Carmina," Jerome responds, apparently none-the-wiser, "We're here."

John regards her neutrally as she steps into view, but he's always wearing his poker face around her. She needs to get better at reading it.

"I guess it's time to go, then," he says.

"Yeah. Um — I mean, I can meet you back at the truck. Mom and dad will be here soon..."

Jerome speaks up before John can get the chance. "No, you two go on. I think we were just about done ourselves, and I'd like to sit here for a little while, before it gets too dark." He and John shake hands, and then he comes over to give Carmina a hug. "Happy birthday," he tells her. "You be good for another year, alright?"

"I'll try," she says.

"That'a girl," Jerome laughs. "Keep an eye on her, John."

Sometimes, it seems like Jerome is the only adult in Hope County that doesn't think John is a bad influence on her. Even her mom and dad, who are basically the only people on John's side, get uncomfortable if she tries to talk to him too much. But Jerome is a special case. He used to be weird about anything John-related, but nowadays? Honestly, Carmina's pretty sure he's John's only friend at this point — well, okay, other than mom and dad, but they don't count.

John waits until they've left the church to speak. He's chilly and dismissive, as usual.

"How long were you listening for?"

"I wasn't," Carmina begins — but she can't lie to him. Lying only ever makes things worse. So she corrects herself reluctantly and admits, "It was only a minute. I didn't mean to... it just sort of happened."

"Hm."

Normally, Carmina can't get a read on John's poker face, but... huh. She can't help but feel like she might've... hurt his feelings? She definitely wasn't being trustworthy, that's for sure. And now he's trying to casually out-pace her on the walk back to the truck.

"I'm sorry for eavesdropping," she says, picking up her pace to match his. "I promise, I won't do it again."

John glares at her, but she's pretty sure he's not angry. Maybe just confused? She's not sure, he's never looked at her longer than two seconds before.

"I... appreciate it," he replies instead, which makes it the first time he's ever accepted an apology of hers. Usually, he just tells her not to worry about it.

Carmina grins at him, but he's already looked away, so of course he doesn't see it. Instead, he looks to the field, where the three teens from town are still hanging out. Carmina can't tell if they're looking this way or not. She sure hopes they aren't; John would know immediately that they gossiped about him, and she's already messed up with him once today.

"Have you ever played capture the flag?" she asks, hoping to distract him. "The chicken brothers taught us the rules but I think they maybe made some of it up."

John cracks a small smile. Well, Carmina will pretend it's one, anyway.

"The chicken brothers," he repeats.

"You know, Tommy and Matt."

"Do they know that's what you call them?"

"I mean, I've never said it to their faces..."

"That's probably smart."

They reach the truck, which marks the invisible barrier that keeps John out of town. Of course, mom and dad still aren't here. If Carmina climbed up on top of the truck, she might be able to spot them, but it's not like she could get their attention from this far away. So, she's going to have to kill time until they get back.

"Did you eat?" she asks, climbing up into the truck bed.

"I'm fine, Carmina," John replies, a little wearily. Like she's not the first person to bug him about it today — or, maybe like he lacks energy from not eating all day.

She rolls her eyes, but John doesn't see. "Uh-huh." She sits down, pulling the box of food into her lap as she leans back against the cab. "Dad was surprised that there were cookies. Um, not exactly the same, I guess? But still really good." She's not going to give him a chance to turn it down, grabbing one and shoving it in his direction. "Here, try one!"

John, leaning against the side of the truck like he is, is clearly more interested in looking for her parents than humoring her. He definitely looks like he wants to say no. But to her surprise, he actually takes the offered food. It would be weird to stare at him while he eats, so she goes back to debating between a chicken leg or one of the last ribs in the box.

"Not bad," John comments, which is like, crazy, because Carmina definitely isn't goading him into talking.

"They're kind of crumbly," Carmina says, "I dunno if that's what it's supposed to be like. But all the food is really good." She counts the chicken legs out again, just to make sure there's one for each of them. "Um... hey, John? Uh... do chickens eat each other?"

John frowns, chewing the question over with the rest of the cookie. He swallows, then says, "Most animals cannibalize their own if they're desperate enough."

"Oh."

"They would need to be left alone for a lot longer than a few hours," he points out. "Or they would have to be sick. It's more likely a dog will get them before they turn on each other."

Well, at least Carmina can trust John to tell her the truth, even if it's probably not the way her parents would want him to do it. She doesn't even mind him being so blunt about it, either; she's just surprised he's willing to talk to her. She can't help but wonder if this is going to be a normal thing, now that she's ten — is he going to stop being so weird around her? Or is this just a special treat, because of the day? She sure hopes not. It'd be a lot less awkward if John didn't act so scared of her all the time.

Her parents finally join them at the truck. Her mom wrinkles her nose at Carmina sitting in the back again, but she doesn't say anything. Her dad doesn't seem to mind; once he spots the box in Carmina's lap, he reaches over to grab one of the shortbread cookies for himself.

"Sorry about that," he says, "We got held up a couple times. John, you try one of these yet?"

"I did."

"Crazy having home-baked goods again, right?" Her dad waggles the cookie in John's face; John rolls his eyes and circles back around to the tailgate, climbing up into the bed. "Here, Carmina, give me that box so the food doesn't get too cold on the way home."

"You're just gonna eat everything," Carmina objects, handing over the box anyway.

"Nah, come on. Here, you guys grab something for the ride home." He nudges Carmina's shoulder with the box. "You probably worked up an appetite bullying all the older kids out there — and I bet you didn't eat much of anything, either," he adds in John's direction.

"I had a cookie, didn't I?"

"Yeah, I'll bet nobody forced you into it, either."

Carmina grins as her dad winks at her. Her mom rolls her eyes, but doesn't keep dad from bullying John a little. "Grab something so we can get going," she tells John, "And make sure she doesn't stand up once we're in drive."

John reluctantly takes a towel-wrapped ear of corn and a single rib, while Carmina goes right for that piece of chicken she'd been eying from the start. That helps her make peace with sitting safely, at least this one time. Next year, she's definitely going to get to ride in back by herself, she can feel it, and she is going to do it standing up!

As Carmina watches the town shrink behind them, she congratulates herself on another successful birthday. It'd been better than she'd expected — she was a little uncomfortable around so many people at first, but now she's pretty sure she can say she's made some friends? And seeing the town full of food and laughter and music... It had been sort of what Carmina imagines Fall's End used to be like. Her parents probably wouldn't agree, but maybe that's okay. Maybe when she's older, she can try and prove to them that things can be just as good as they used to be — even if it's a different kind of good.

#far cry 5 #fc5 #fcnd #new dawn #john seed #nick rye #kim rye #carmina rye #far cry fanfic #my fic

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oisaaac · 5 years ago

Text

“ Six feet under ”

Pairing: Crowley x Reader

Summary: Crowley decides to pay a little visit to his one and only love.

Warnings: angst, character death, sad boi crowley

Notes: English isn't my native language, so sorry for any mistakes this hasn't been proofread either.

This is very out of the blue and maybe a little cliché idk, but i hope some of you enjoy it nonetheless <3

kinda off from the original show plot but try to bare with me uwu

inspired from billie eilish's song 'six feet under'

Help, I lost myself again

But I remember you

Thick heavy grey clouds shrouded above the cemetery as if it read Crowley's mood. It was the same heavy weight he felt everyime he decides to pay you a visit. The same weight that seems to get heavier as time ticks by.

It had been a year since you died. A year that seems to be dreadfully longer than the time Crowley stayed above earth.

It was always a reminder for him how different his celestial form is from a human being like you. You always joked around that he had to see you die at some point—with grey hair and wrinkling skin while he didn't age even a bit, yet look where he is now.

He didn't expect it to come too soon, too fast, too sudden and too painful. It made him think what was really God's ineffable plan? He couldn't even ask it himself. Besides it was ineffable after all.

He should've seen this coming though. A demon falling in love with a human? Both of you knew things can't get normal. For one he was an immortal under a lot of circumstances and you on the other hand was—fragile. The moment you saw the bright light when you were brought to this world you were already hanging on a thin thread. Surviving for only a small barrowed time. Crowley always thought it was some kind of inside joke made by God, a very cruel joke.

Small droplets started to fall down from the sky as Crowley stood looking at the flowers he have in his hands.

You would've loved this. He thought to himself kneeling down on the moist grass, not bothered by the uncomfortable feeling of the contact with his jeans before staring at your grave stone.

It still feels unreal for him, seeing your name precisely carved on the stone which made his heart wrenched.

Retrace my lips

Erase your touch

It's all too much for me

But Crowley knew he would rather feel the pain in his chest over and over again rather than forget about you even if he could never be the same when he was with you.

His closest friend Aziraphale felt pity for the demon, but loving someone always has a cost to pay and he could only give much reassurance to his dear friend. Besides, he was somehow at fault considering you died in his shop trying to help him. Crowley didn't blame the angel though, knowingly you wouldn't either, but that didn't stop him from blaming himself and giving the silent treatment to the angel (which Aziraphale understood where he was coming from) for months. You would have opposed to if you knew, knowing their friendship was one of the strongest bonds you had ever seen. Luckily they were good now yet Crowley still needed more time to mourn.

You were always so kind and gentle, one of the traits Crowley loved about you. Good or bad you seem to look surpass every label knowing it was more than just what they perceive. To you Crowley isn't just the demon who had fallen to spread evil, he was your Crowley; your sassy kind hearted loving demon. He never wanted to have such vulnerability, but he let himself otherwise.

Of course he didn't regret any of it. He would need to die first before he ever regrets choosing a path with you in it. Even if he knew the moment you walked in Aziraphale's bookshop clumsily waltzing in his life only to bring this kind of pain he was currently feeling he would never choose of you not being a part of him. If only he could have had more time just one more second to see you smile, to feel your soft touch, to look directly into your loving eyes that made him feel like he was home. It sometimes brought Crowley anxiety with the thought that he didn't deserve what he was feeling with you—the joy, appreciation and love, yet you always said that he did, he did deserve happiness but the tragedy that comes with it had come unforeseen.

Blow away

Like smoke in air

How can you die carelessly?

Why did you have to go inside? Why didn't you just wait for me. You were human afterall. You weren't built to withstand heavy flames and thick smokes. You've always been so reckless for the sake of others. You knew it was dangerous, but you risked your life nonetheless.

Crowley laid the flowers near your headstone before he caressed the letters of your name closing his eyes trying to remember every detail of your face.

"Just for a second. If you're really listening to everyone's prayer then bid mine. Just for a second. Look at me you've foresaken me and let me fall into the pit yet here I am calling out for you." He looked up calling out to somebody, something or someone who was listening to his mantra. "Please!" He choked through the verge of tears. "I love her. I'll always will. If this is my sin then punish me for eternity, but let me see her just for a second." The only response a low rumble of thunder and finally the heavy clouds opened its gates letting the rain freely fall from the heavens camouflaging Crowley's tears.

They're playin' our sound

Layin' us down tonight

And all of these clouds

Crying us back to life

But you're cold as a night

It was no use. You're gone. The pain settled in his chest eating his insides. It was his punishment after all.

Crowley was soaked by the time he was snapped out of his small trance. He fixed the flowers on your grave before putting the individual red rose in the middle remembering how much you loved that red flower then grabbing the old ones to dispose them before standing up and taking one last glance of you until his next visit.

He whispered his promise that he would come back over and over for the rest of his eternity, he had all the time in his hands anyways.

Six feet under

I can't help but wonder

If our grave was watered by the rain

Bloom

Again

Crowley turned around to head over his bentley only to be met by your e/c eyes. He didn't even realized his grip on the flowers loosened as he blinked once, twice, more than enough to make sure he wasn't seeing things while raining and there you were like an epiphany standing on your red dress drenched in rain smiling like an idiot at him. You took deliberate steps closing in the gap between the two of you while you kept your eyes locked on his yellow serpent eyes that you grew to love.

"Y/n," Crowley whispered still trying to figure out how.

"Crowley," You put your hand on his cheeks caressing his wet skin with your thumb. You didn't even understood how, but you were happy. You missed him so much that you didn't say another word and just leaned in connecting your lips with his he didn't respond at first, but slowly he recognized you. It was really you, his beloved y/n. He had so many questions hanging on the back of his head, but he didn't dare to utter any of them. He didn't want to let you go and waste whatever miracle it was that brought you here.

All the muscles in each of your bodies molded into one. You and Crowley were in sync like a melody that you both practiced over and over again. Your hands made its way on the back of his neck tangling your fingers on his wet ginger locks, Crowley's hands gripped you tight yet at the same time gently trying not to break you under his touch. The intensity of yearning and all the other emotions that comes with it all swirled into one.

Out of breath you both parted staring at eachothers eyes. "I love you too." You softly spoke your truth.

Maybe whatever was up there was really listening. Either way Crowley held on you to the very last second of your borrowed time.

"We'll be together again someday." You reassured him while you smiled. Crowley just studied your face and for the first time in a while genuinely smiled and was happy. And it was enough as goodbye for the both of you... for now.

Help, I lost myself again

But I remember you

Kinda long A/N: honestly idk what to feel about this if its good or not in my 19 years of existence i always wrote fanfics imagines and stuffs but usually i usually put it up then delete it later because i dont have any confidence of my work but im trying again. this is my first time posting in tumblr though.i hope this is good, like it gave you feels because it did when i wrote it. please don't kill me that i made crowley straight oof 🥺 sorry for any mistakes again! thank you for taking time on reading this and if you reblog and press the heart thingy thank you so much i will love you forever 💕

#crowley x reader #crowley #anthony j crowley #good omens #david tennant #aziraphale #crowley imagine

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thewritingstar · 5 years ago

Note

For the headcannon thing, 3 15 19 20 25 26 31 and 39 (sorry i know it’s a lot) with Butch and Buttercup.

imma go on a limb and say its this one cause thats the most recent list i reblog. if not please ask again with the list you wanted just so that i did the correct ones. And dont apologize!!! I love answering question and i answer huge prompts all the time (record is 200)

alright here we go!!

-----

3) Are they open about their relationship? How do they feel about public displays of affection?

-At first they keep it a secret. Only just slightly more touching of the shoulders and longer stares but eventually they don’t care. They don’t really mind a kiss on the cheek there or a hug there but they never make out in public unless they are hidden away because they hate seeing the blues go ham on each other. However they didn’t tell the press about their relationship for about three years. It was a secret game they had and it was funny watching the world explode at the news. (Boomers and Bubbles posted their own relationship 54 mins after they got together)

15) How adventurous are they?

-Dare devils to the max with every single aspect of their life. Whether its food, or adventures, or.....cough cough other things... They try it all at least once. Being able to fly and have super powers lessens the fear and they usually do things on their own. They sky dive where they fly super high up and then stop until they are closer to the ground. They will eat exotic foods and do what ever they can to up the other person. HE WONT EAT A SNAIL THOU. thats a no no and no matter how much he gets teased, he winces at the thought.

19) What do they fight about? What are their arguments like? How do they make up?

-They don’t argue very often, they bicker and if they do have fights its yelling matches. They don’t really use their powers on each other as they get older but sometimes they flip a coin on who wins the argument if they simply can not agree.

If they do yell its because they are worried about the other person. There have been too many times where one of them is in a hospital bed and thats when te tears and the fights break out.

The make up by huffing anf puffing at each other until their eyes meet and they finally calm down and instantly go into make up kissing and then yeah know..

20) What does their home look like? Their room?

-There house is decked out in black furniture and creepy stuff. A coffin shaped coffee table and bone shaped cushions. They are such huge horror fans that the have movie posters on the wall and collectibles because they are nerds. The style is Gothic and imagine that their emo phases never truly left. Their room is the same thing. A giant king size bed and snacks in the nightstands. Its just a dark paradise and Bubbs thinks its creepy.

they also have a home gym with those weird inspirational quotes posters as a joke.

25) How much time do they spend together? Do they share their feelings, or hold things in?

-Too much time. During hs they had most of the same classes and hung out after school. They are best friends and rarely get sick of each other, that’s how close they are.

26) - How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families?

-Everyone is on board. I mean its the greens, who wouldn't love them?? Blossom is the biggest greens fan and you can not change my mind. Before announcing it to the world, BC asked her older sister what she thought of the idea and Blossom hugged her and told her that he makes her happy and thats all she deserves.

31) Do they finish each other’s sentences? Pick up any phrases or habits from each other? Know when the other is hiding something?

-Only if its movie quotes will they finish each others sentences. They usually talk over each other mostly. Buttercup cusses more than she used too and Blossom blames him.

39) Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first? When did they realize they were in love?

-I always think that Butch would kiss her first. It would happen so fast and suddenly and she would blink then kiss him back harder. During high school senior year is when she realizes shes in love with him. They started dating what i assume junior year and towards the end of senior year, she realized she was head over heels for him. It wasn’t in a dramatic way but she was in class and all of a sudden it came to her.

Butch has been in love with her since 8th grade but only acted on it during hs when he would tease her until they started dating. (no one believes that hes the best bf but he is)

I hope you like these responses! Thank you for asking!!

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mac-n-cheese-flavored-arson · 5 years ago

Text

Tag List

This is long

4d- things that remind me of other dimensions, dissociation, and interdimensional travel

?- something that I don’t know how to tag in the moment or that doesn’t fit any category

@ asher- this is something that reminds me of my fiance or our relationship

@ lori- things about my close friend and/or things that remind me of her

aesthetic- a variety of stuff but anything that’s aesthetic

aliens- things with aliens or UFOs

anarchy- anything with the anarchy symbol or relating to anarchist beliefs

animals- cute animals

are things flammable- this is my on-going science experiment where I test if random things are flammable and occasionally accidentally light myself on fire

arson- anything with a primary focus on fire or containing a real life fire

art- something I enjoy and want to reblog that is art and either reblogged soley because it is art or I couldn’t find another way to tag it

atla- things about avatar the last Airbender

barbed wire- anything with barbed wire as the main focus of the image

blinkee- the flashing banners or blinkess made by other people

bobs burgers- anything about bobs burgers including memes and gifs and anything else that's cool

broken glass- pictures of broken glass, videos of glass breaking, digital recreations of broken screens, etc. Basically just stuff that looks like broken glass or is broken glass

cars- this is about the movie cars, not actual cars

cayden art- stuff that is either my art or my photo edit

cayden photography- my photography, before edits usually

cayden poetry- my poetry

cayden vent- my personal posts that are me venting, they're fine to reblog unless tagged or said otherwise, this will also include reblogs from my vent blog

covid 19- this is my current coronavirus tag so that it can be content filtered

criminal minds- anything about the show criminal minds

dino- anything with dinosaurs in any form

disability- posts about chronic pain, chronic illness, disability, mobility aids, or pictures of people using mobility aids/pictures of their mobility aids

dropout- things relating to the failings of the public school system, my personal expirence with dropping out of highschool, and others' expirence with dropping out of highschool

drugs- most things drug related, pictures of drugs, edits containing drugs, memes about sobriety, memes about drugs, etc. This won’t contain pictures of hard drugs like meth or syringes

drunk tag- personal posts made when I was shitfaced or high

embroidery- cool embroidery projects, tutorials, patterns, reference pictures, and embroidered patches

eyes- anything with eyes as the main focus but not pictures of people or animals, this is primarily creepy things

face tag- pictures of my face or my tattoos/piercings

fashion- anything that I want to use as inspiration for my own personal style

fave- my personal favorite things

g&f- anything related to grace and frankie, including things about those actors/actresses

galaxy- anything with galaxy colors or themed around planets, space, and stars but only aesthetically

glitch- anything thats glitchy

graffiti- anything with spray painting or street art in it

gravity falls- anything about gravity falls

h0rny- stuff reblogged because sex lol

hands- pictures of hands, esp ones that I want around my throat lmao, this is also a generally horny tag

home- anything that I’m using as an inspiration for my future house

if you dont send me an ask youre straight and cis and I hope you can live w/ that- this is my tag for ask games lmao 😂

info- long textposts of information about something, usually containing other links

lava lamp- pictures of lava lamps, usually weird or trippy

lgbt- anything that relates to the lgbt community, flags, textposts, pride edits, new stories, etc.

lifehack- things that make your life easier

mcr- anything related to my chemical romance or those band members, including things about the songs, lyrics, and things from their solo careers

megamind- things about megamind the movie

memes- any memes or things that I find funny including tik-toks

mental health- things related to mental health and mental illness, including trauma but not including nuerodivergent stuff

minecraft- anything related to minecraft including builds, memes, stories, plushies, etc.

moodboard- any moodboard

nature- aesthetic pictures of trees, clouds, skylines, forests, etc.

nd stuff- things about being nuerodivergent, including things about autism or relatable adhd posts

not adhd but also an autism mood- this is my tag for reblogging adhd posts that also apply to me as an autistic person (that doesn't have adhd)

original content- anything that I have posted myself or added my own comment onto

otters- videos or pictures of otters

p&f- anything related to phineas and ferb

piercings- anything with piercings as the primary focus of the picture or cool piercings that I want to use as a reference

piss- .

poetry- poetry lmao

political- anything that is discourse or political

positivity- things that are positive and positivity related

punk- anything that embodies punk like fashion or music or cool/edgy stuff

rainbow- anything that is rainbow

rats- pictures of rats, animations of rats, stickers of rats, all things rats

shrek- anything about shrek including memes and art

slam poetry- good slam poems, stuff about artists, stuff about performances, everything about slam poetry

slime- that ones kinda obvoius

soap cutting- I don’t use this one much but yeah its literally just soap cutting

steven universe- anything about steven universe or steven universe future, often including spoilers

stimmy- anything that I personally find stimmy, like gifs, paint mixing, soap cutting, or slime

story- a textpodt where there's a funny or interesting story to read

tattoos- pictures or other people's tattoos

teeth- anything with teeth as the main focus, sometimes human teeth or bloody ones

textpost- anything that is a textpost in a wide variety of different categories, I try to only use this tag when I don’t know what else to tag it as

the office- memes, screengrabs, textposts, all about the office and Dwight being an ignorant slut

things about me- this is a new tag for things that describe who I am as a person, my expierences, and things that I like and identity with, it'll be mostly reblogs but it might have some of my own posts too

things that made me cry- this is pretty self explanatory

trash- a particular aesthetic that’s weird and unnerving, I’m not entirely sure how to explain it but essentially a mix of oddcore, scenecore, and creepycore, cryptidcore, and a few others

trauma- this is trauma related stuff but this tag is really inconsistent

tweet- a screenshot of a tweet

urban- things that remind me of urban living, like abandoned buildings, trash heaps, trashed bedrooms, etc

video- its a video, but I try to primarily keep this tag for funny videos

weapons- anything with guns, knives, swords, or other weapons

#bio #original content #march 2020

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dontyouhearmehowling · 5 years ago

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oh my god. Ok so I just scrolled through your blog and my heart hurts because there is so much love and just so much stuff I can relate too and I just ahhh damnnn it I cant even but like can I please have the story of your relationship with this girl your with? please? i'm a hopeless romantic I feel too much I love so hard my own love life is complicated but i know the kind of love you talk about thats exactly how i love the love of my life too so yours is a story I need to hear

ok so. it all started on April 31st, 2018. i reblogged one of those ask games and she sent me an emoji that said “i’m too scared to talk to you but i think you’re great” and i was like do it!!! and she did!!!! she texted me after i had already gone to sleep tho, so i only answered the next day. but then we talked all day. and the next. and the next. and we never ran out of things to talk about and even only knowing her for a few days i already felt comfortable enough with her to talk about anything?? it was wild. since day 1 we’ve had this connection that i’ve never had with anyone else and its my favorite thing in the world. after like a week we already had a bunch of inside jokes, something that i’d never had before, and i was already crushing on her. ok so we became very close friends like immediately, and i mostly ignored my crush on her bc i thought she didn’t like me back and usually i’d get meaningless crushes on everyone at first before i met her. but then this other girl and i started flirting and i realized i didnt like her bc i liked c too much, so i broke things off and kinda went like “oh shit this is real” and decided that i’d just stay friends with c until i eventually couldnt take it anymore and had to tell her abt my feelings bc thats how i am. anyways ok cool meanwhile i made her watch the good place on rabb.it with me which will be relevant later.

ok so fast forward to may 21st or something around that time. its time to sleep bc i have school the next day so we say goodnight, but then i guess she says something or reblogs something and i get sad bc i realize she doesnt like me back. so i make some hashtag sad posts abt yearning and then i realize i told her i was going to sleep and i didnt want her to think i didnt want to talk to her so i text her again and say like “ok i was going to go to sleep but then i got sad abt my crush” and SHE GOES “you have a crush????????” and im there like. what in the hell bc not only did i not try to hide it At All, i constantly posted about it and had an entire tag about her and i thought it was pretty obvious. so anyways i go “yes?? i thoought you knew that?? im literally always posting about it??” and she asks me to talk abt the crush and who it is. i say “just stalk the tag if u want, im going to sleep” then shes like “nO WAIT WHO IS IT” and im like. blatantly ignoring that and my heart is already beating out of my chest but she Really wants to know and then at one point i say “please dont make me answer that” so shE SAYS “you’re making me think that its me” and i say “i dont know what you want me to say” and SHE GOES “I WANT YOU TO SAY THAT ITS ME BC I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU” so i just. die. right then and there. also yknow we talk about it and its like after 1 am and im just happier than i’ve ever been. ok so 2 days later she asks me out Officially and its great and shes the cutest gf ever and she made me feel more wanted than i’d ever felt in my entire life. then 6 days later she sends me a big big big text on tumblr and long story short (bc it was kinda personal), she would be deleting her all social media for the summer.

so she was gone. and we had only dated for a week at this point, but we’d known each other for 2 months, and i already loved her. i already knew she was the love of my life. i didnt even try to move on, i’d tell people i didnt wanna move on cuz i knew i was meant to love her. i had another blog like this that i used to talk about how much i loved and missed her (so like. exactly like this). i literally reasoned with myself that like. that happened because before i met her i was in a really bad place after a terrible relationship and i was almost giving up on finding someone who actually made me feel loved bc i thought it would never happened, so i was like “ok so i was in a really bad place, so the universe brought my soulmate a little early just for a while so that i would know i had to hold on, and when its actually time for us to be together, it will bring us to each other once again” like i actually told myself that, in those words. and yknow what? i wasnt even wrong. on july 15th she texted me from an empty tumblr with her old url and at first i literally couldnt believe it but we talked for hours and hours and i asked her what happened bc i thought she was disconnecting for the summer and she said “i was. i am. i just couldnt not talk to you anymore” and she said that she thought about me every single day, and i told her i missed her and she said she didnt text sooner bc she thought i’d be angry at her and ofc i wouldnt, i could never be angry at her and besides, she was just taking care of herself and i said i dont think i could be anything less than head over heels for for, and she said she felt the same way, but wasnt ready to be more than friends yet. but that had always been more than enough for me. just having her in my life would always be more than enough for me. so we stayed friends.

then, on august 9th i got this ask.

and she saw it after i said i was gonna go to bed (bc again, i had school the next day) and she texted me a whole thing about how that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about her and that i should be asleep but she had to get it out of her chest and that her anxiety made it hard for her to show how much i meant to her so she was sorry if i didnt know and this would probably make no sense but she was tired of keeping it to herself bc shes the luckiest person alive for having met me and that it was gonna be so hard because shes so difficult (shes not) and her anxiety is difficult but that she literally spent every night thinking about me and of buying plane tickets to come see me so that she could be with me. then she was like “im sorry if this is uncomfortable to you and you can just ignore it but i think im in love with you and this is over text and not romantic at all (it was the most romantic night of my life) but you’re asleep (i wasnt) and we arent together but i want to be one day” and until this i was Trying to fall asleep and then i checked my phone that kept RINGING and died a thousand times over and started to answer and she sent other texts saying “i’ve never felt this way about anyone before i’m so in love with you its fucking ridiculous and this is gonna be so complicated but fuck i want this so bad / i’m sorry it took me so long / would you move to new york with me?” and i was This Close to literally fucking exploding like. how the hell was this happening how was it not a DREAM. so we talked and i obviously said i loved her too and eventually she asked me out and thats still probably the best night of my life. other highlights: “i’ve loved you way before august 9th so jot that down” and “off topic but i love you / you’re honestly my other half” and, after i said “you cant make me laugh its 2am”, she answered “i’m going to make you laugh for the rest of your life so help me god” and thats my favorite thing anyone has ever said to me probably and so far she’s kept her word.

anyways we got back together and then she told me that she never even told her friends she broke up with me??? bc that way she could keep pretending we were still together???? literally like sjdksndk imagine being this loved. i dont have to. anyways she wrote poems abt me sometimes and her christmas gift for me was gonna be a book with all her poems and she called it “what we owe to each other” because of the good place (remember how i said it’d be relevant later? its later) bc like she said that when we were watching tgp together on rabb.it thats when she realized that she Really Truly liked me like For Real. and the inscription on the book was going to be “to the girl i love / and what i owe her” and. yall. i cry. anyways one of the poems had a huge impact on us. heres the story:

and she got them but we broke up before she got to mail them to me. what happened was she had some mental health problems and she said she couldnt give me what i needed at the time but knew i’d still give her my all bc thats just how i am and she thought it wouldnt be fair so she broke things off to work on her mental health. she said she would need some time before we could be friends. the last thing we said was that we loved each other. this was in like november 2018, and we didnt talk for months. i actually tried to move on this time after a while, but it didnt take. and then i gave up for good. havent tried since. but anyways, then, on march 11th, 2019, i had my first day of college back in my home country, and we have this “pranks”/games that seniors get to do to the freshmen, and one of them required eggs, and they asked us to paint them, so i panted mine as iron man bc it was easy, but c LOVES iron man. like. LOVES. like in a Whole New Level of loving. once when we were dating she said she loved me more than tony stark and i was like. shook. like she tattooed “T.S” on her ankle after him. u get the point. she loves him very much, its adorable and endearing and i love it. anyways. so i sent her a picture of it saying like “you dont have to answer this but i made this for my university and i thought you would like it” and she answered and IMMEDIATELY something clicked and we talked and talked and talked and it was never weird or awkward or uncomfortable. it never is with her. its incredible, i cant explain it. i Know shes my soulmate like thats the ONLY possible explanation for this kind of connection. its unreal. anyways. we became friends again! all was well.

then one beautiful night she drunk texts me sndjkajs she sends me so many texts and says it sucks that we live so far away and that she saw my posts (in this particular case, one that said something about like. when she talked about love now, was it about someone else?) and she said that it wasnt. and then she went to sleep and i only saw the texts when i woke up and i was DYING bc we had a 4 hour difference and it’d take a while for her to wake up. when she did, we talked and she said she wasnt over me and was scared she might never be, and even though we were still gonna stay friends, it was nice to know that she still loved me. ok so fast forward a bit more and i was starting to wonder if she’d moved on again, when she finds out her best friend had a crush on her, and that conversation ends up with her saying “it was 100% platonic for me / sorry if thats weird i just wanted you to know that” and it was NOT weird it was GREAT NEWS bc i was Hella jealous of her best friend and at first i wondered if they were dating and anyways the fact that she wanted me to know that was a pretty good hint that she still had feelings for me. ngl im still somewhat jealous of h (c’s best friend), but thats just bc im an insecure lil bitch and also bc they get to go out and do stuff together that i cant do with c bc of the distance, yknow? but anyways. then she went on a graduation trip in mid to the end of june and she bought me a magnet. just. out of nowhere. i cannot stress enough how Incredibly unexpected this was. so much so that i actually convinced myself that it meant she was over me????? literally. what the fuck. anyways we named him together and coincidentally (or bc of soulmate powers. who knows) we both had the same favorite names. i still love that.

okay so then we go to july 29th, 2019. first of all theres one of my favorite interactions Ever which was like after i was venting about something and i was thanking her and i said “you’re always here for me” to which she answered “nowhere else i’d rather be” and i still think thats peak romance and i will take no criticism on this. anyways so then she sent me a poem that she wrote based on a song i’d sent her (the song i called “heaven is a place” and its the BIGGEST mood for being in love and i sent it to her bc it was how i felt about her so her writing a poem about it?? literally the best thing ever. love it) anyways it was a beautiful poem and i cried and got very emotional and kinda went too far in my compliments (aka being very obvious about my romantic feelings) and then i was like oh no sorry if i made u uncomfortable and she was like. “you have NEVER. EVER EVER EVER EVER made me uncomfortable” “you’re the only person on planet earth i am comfortably myself around” and “there’s nothing you could ever say that i wouldn’t wanna hear” and anyways it was just very good and romantic conversation even tho we were just cough cough platonic hashtag gal pals hashtag no homo ✌️ and then she was like ok wait. i need to talk to u abt something. and in short she said she was waiting for us and i was like well what are you waiting for exactly? and she was like idk?? for us to accidentally bump into each other in new york in a few years?? WHICH WAS LITERALLY WHAT I’D DAYDREAM ABOUT BACK IN JUNE 2018 BEFORE SHE CAME BACK OKAY so anyways we had a Great conversation and said i love you about a thousand times each and she decided she was gonna buy tickets to come see me. and then she dID like TWO DAYS LATER. lichrally. queen of impulsivity but in the best way possible.

—————

ok quick edit here cuz i forgot to say that when i found out she was coming i asked for my mom’s help to make a necklace pendant for her from scratch. my mom works with prosthetics so she has the material to make jewelry and back when c and i were dating in 2018 i had made this lil design for a necklace that had the moon and the ocean (bc duh) and i was gonna give it to her for valentines day in 2019 but we broke up before that so i didnt get the chance, but when i found out i was meeting her i knew i had to. so i made the necklace in wax, like this:

and my mom took it to her work and heated it up to melt it and keep the shape of it to fill with silver, and this was the result:

i gave it to her when she got here and she wore it while she was here and it made me so happy. ok edit over

—————

ok so we kept being like couple-y but not officially in a relationship bc we didnt want to make her anxiety worse. also at one point she was like “so about the ‘i love you more than the moon/ocean’ thing, since we BOTH love BOTH of the moon AND the ocean, i think its only Fair if we update our love declarations to ‘i love you more than the mocean’ bc its mix of both but thats not a word, buT its pronounced exactly like ‘motion’. therefore we should both start saying ‘i love you more than the motion’”. so now we have both the wonderful, romantic, original version, and the NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL DO U HEAR ME C??? version :) and after this day she always started with the WORST!!!!!! version, and i always started with the Only Valid Version, but we’d still answer each other’s ofc because. well. thats love i gues?? it sorta goes like this though: her: i love you more than the motion / me: i hate u / me: i literally hate u so much / me: i Also love you more than the motion

but anyways she was coming to visit me but the plane ticket wasnt for my home country it was for where i was going to university at (a new university, i was starting over) and when i first got here on this campus, i didnt have a working phone number for this country, and i wouldnt be able to access the wifi for 3 days, so i had no way of talking to her. it was TERRIBLE and i missed her more than anything in my LIFE but when i got wifi (after CRYING to the people here bc theyre the most unorganized uni ever and i was already very overwhelmed and stressed) i immediately called her and she’d sent me over 100 text messages dkfjssjks it was amazing, there were two (2) videos of her singing (which is like. objectively the best thing in the world, and the song was rlly romantic and i love it sm when she showed it to me for the first time she said it made her think abt me), a poem, AND a HUGE text with “i love you” written like. a THOUSAND TIMES. seriously i have a gif of it opening and scrolling bc it was so long that the text wouldnt show up directly on the chat screen and u have to click on it to see the rest. i’d never felt more loved in my entire life by anyone ever. anyways so then it came the day for her to get here and i had to wake up at 5 am to go get her at the airport and the uber was like $40 but who CARES it was the best day of my LIFE and i got there 20 minutes earlier bUT GUESS WHAT SO DID SHE (hashtag just soulmate things) then we facetimed the entire time while she was walking through the airport and getting her luggage and then she hung up to walk to the door where i was and we hugged for like 5 minutes and we were totally in people’s way and also almost fell but it was the best thing in the world and i never should’ve let her go. but, we had to go home, so i did. and we spent 4 days together and im not gonna go into details bc this is already too long but u can always send me another ask about her visit if ur not a coward. also i bought her a hoodie from my uni and whenever she wears it i just. die. in short, those days were the happiest i’ve ever been. this campus res had never felt like home before that friday and it hasnt again since that monday, but i swear to god, during those 4 days, this was the only place i could possibly belong.

anyways then she left and i cried for the entire uber ride home and then i cried all day. lmao. also when she was here she gave me the poetry book, the magnet, and the bracelet. still wear the bracelet every single day and i love it more than anything. but then personal stuff happened and we kinda stopped being couple-y again and we’re just friends now but before new years i asked her if she still loved me and she said yes and she said she’d tell me if it changed so ✌️✌️ im assuming it hasnt. even tho my brain is a bitch and everyday its like. today. today is the day. this is when its gonna happen. buT yknow we’ve spent months before without even talking to each other and we got through that still in love, so i mostly ignore it. and tbh i know that actually like, even if we grow apart now (god forbid, but still) we’ll find our way back to each other eventually. like, i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: nothing, not even the universe itself, can convince me that shes not my soulmate. and even if it turns out i’m not hers, loving her is still the greatest honor i can think of.

another edit: also i started drawing recently and the first person i’ve ever finished drawing was her and also (surprise surprise @c since you’re already seeing all my feelings anyway) bc of my second drawing i almost missed the deadline for one of my midterms (which was a take-home test) bc instead of writing it i spent the entire day before the deadline finishing the drawing which was a secret valentines day gift (secret as in she didnt know it was supposed to be a gift, she thought it was just a drawing inspired by a quote that she loves) and i finished at 2 am but shes 3 hours behind so for her it was still 11 pm which MEANS it was still valentines day so it still counts, i win, lesbian rights!

#mine #l #answered #dont rb #i dont think anyone will but this is personal and i dont want to risk it getting out #i wanna have this bc i love telling people this story and next time someone asks i’ll just send them this post

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fan-dumb-trash · 6 years ago

Text

REMILE PART TWOOOOOOOOO

Part One! Part Three! Part Four

*confetti canon* YASSSS FINALLYYYY I HAVE FINISHED THIS!

Sorry for the wait! And also sorry if this isn’t as good as the first one... but I needed to establish some things in order to make Remiles relationship make sense ya know? I’m planning on making at least one, maybe more of these so buckle up sis! Thank you guys for your reblogs and comments and stuff it’s really sweet XD I’m glad to provide some decent Remile content.

Now without further ado, lets get the gay going!

Warnings: Unhealthy Household mention, Kissing, Crying. Violence mention- or lack theorf. Some self deprecation in Remys part. If I missed anything let me know!

Kay so we left off with the boys at the start of their sophomore year oh yeah boi.

I forgot to tell you everyone's ages so HERE WE GO

Patton and Roman are juniors now and Virgil Logan Emile and Remy are the same age. Sloane and Corbin are seniors and Kai and Elliot are freshmen.

Remy has accumulated a girlfriend named Clarimonde whos a badass and we love her she's really cool actually. Her and Roman have spanish together and they are both fluent so they chat to their teachers delight

Once her and Patton saw Elliot getting bullied and she scared the living heck out of those neanderthals without punching and Patton was impressed

Everyone likes her- so Emilie tells himself he has no reason to dislike her because he doesn't have feelings for Remy anymore. No sir.

Now it isn't difficult for Remy and Emile to pass each other in the halls. When Clarimonde chats with Roman, Emile can make small talk Remy without dying inside, but he's slightly more quiet.

Remy still doesn't understand the pang he gets in his chest whenever someone mentions cartoons.

Clarimonde starts to pay attention the Emile because “hey he seems like a sweetheart! how did you meet him Rem?”

Remy tells her that they were close in middle school and left it at that. She stayed suspicious but dropped it after two days.

As I mentioned before, Emilie is a total mom friend even to the seniors and juniors. He notices Logan perk up whent Patton makes a dad joke or laughs. He notices Patton stare a bit too much at Logan's subtle freckles or his electric blue eyes as he rants about biology and chemistry.

He notices Roman and Virgil warm up to each other finally (they didn’t get along much. Romans a bit of an airhead and said some not nice things to Virgil in middle school)

They find out they actually have common interests! They talk about music and writing amd smile because someone finally understands!!! Wow!!!

Emilie promises himself he's going to try to help his friends be happy together. because he feels a bit better when he sees his friends happy in love. And in good mental health (which leads into his counseling career!!! Wohooo!!!)

AND NOW- INTRODUCINGGGGG *drum roll* MR THOMAS SANDERS *confetti cannon* and his assistants Joan and Talyn who are lit college students trying to get degrees in the arts. they need to community service so (plus they love Thomas and the kids like aww their babies)

Thomas is the theater teacher/director of the arts department. Roman took all the theater classes available because he’s an extra boi. so he hung out in Mr Sanders class and soon it became the hangout spot for the gang!

Emile saw Roman and Patton in the school play last year. Most of the cast were seniors and now all the thespians are gone and nobody wants to do the shows and take the classes (minus the loot of kids who need their arts requirement to graduate) and it's a PROBLEM

Remy takes Mr Sanders drama class for the arts requirement in order to graduate! But he has a D… Honestly he thought the class would be easier than ceramics because he could just doze off as Thomas rambled about shakespeare but NOPE they have to do pair scenes and monologues and Remy IS NOT HAVING IT LET ME TELL YAH

He thinks acting is stupid (ironic because his personality at school is mostly to mask his pain so TEA) and that there's no point in trying.

this attitude carries over to a lot of his other classes because it's not like his family can afford sending him off to college anyways and it's not like he's smart or worth teaching anyways right?

And Thomas notices Remy walk home alone and take off his shades and stare at the sky a bit longer than usual. Thomas sees Remy's smile fade as people talk about their parents and siblings and he sees Remy's grades slip.

Thomas pulls Remy says something like “Sup Mr Sanders. Did somebody fail their test because they spent the class period staring at me instead of their answer sheet?” And Thomas would usually laugh at this but he's stern

“I'm going to give it to you straight. You're failing almost all your classes and i've talked to your teachers and they know you have potential but you don't try. I don't understand why, but i'm sure you have your reasons but i just wanted to tell you… You're enough, Remy. Just being you. Just because you dont think youll be perfect or good enough doesn't mean you have to turn you back on the world. There's people who will care if you let them in and-”

Remy begins to cry because nobody has told him that in a year and a half. And Thomas gives him tissues and pats him on the shoulder.

Remy agrees to participate in the after school show for extra credit to raise his grade. The credits will carry over to the monologue and pair scene he did poorly on and count for the history of plays unit test which he bombed.

Remy is grateful, but asks how all those assignments fit in on play if he's just gonna do tec??? Or say a shakespearean monologue and be done.

Thomas smiles and says “Well Remy, we are doing Rent- a musical. And Joan and Talyn handle the tec stuff just fine.”

AND BOOM THEY'RE DOING RENT NOW I LOVE THIS SO MUCH ACKKKKKKKKK SO THEY AUDITION! THE GANG AND REMY AND CLARIMONDE AND TOBY AND ITS WONDERFUL

Patton convinces Logan to do the show (puppy dog eyes owo) and it's all set. Clarimonde joins because why not. Emilie was hesitant at first- but Dot and Larry told him it would be a good way to break out of his shell because Emilie is a bit awkward around people he doesn’t know well…

Auditions go good! Virgil, Roman, Elliot, and Emilie are the best singers while Clarimonde,Remy, Logan, and Patton are dorky/sassy/and confident actors.

Thomas had them all sing Seasons Of Love and then he just puts them in scenes with each other as characters he wanted to see them as! After the first round he moved people around accordingly. It’s an unorthodox way of doing things but it’s such a smol group it wasn’t a hassle to do.

Remy and Emile weren’t really considered for any of the leads because Thomas wasn’t sure of their acting ability… so just to give them something to do, he had them do dialogue when Angel and Collins first meet! Remy is Angel and Emile is Collins cause why not!

For those of you who don’t know much about Rent, basically what happens in that scene is that Collins gets mugged and beat up and he’s bleeding in an alleyway and then Angel finds him and they talk a bit.

Of course it was awkward at first because why wouldn’t it be… but Remy said “You know Em, this is just a giant case of Deja Vu… remember when I found you in the field after you gots scraped up from climbing up that tree? Your glasses were broken and everythin’. And you wanted to act all tough but you were crying and I didn’t know what to do-“ and Emile laughed because yes, he remembers. They got ice cream after and it was one of the best days of his childhood.

And it gets better from there. And it’s like they get to meet again for the first time- but Emile is the broken one and Remy is lending a hand. They have really good chemistry and the scene is actually really genuine!

They do the scene for Thomas and he’s intrigued! He writes notes with a small smile on his face.

But the spell is broken after that for a while...

but when the cast list is posted there's some issues cause uhm

Mimi is Roman- Rodger is Virgil

Mark is Patton, and Benny is Logan

Joanne is Elliot and Maureen is Clarimonde!

BUT THE TEA IS THE CASTING CHOICE OF EMILIE PLAYING COLLINS AND REMY PLAYING ANGEL!!! Romans a little salty because he wanted to be a cool drag queen who played drums but he got over it.

BUT SWEET REMY DIDN'T GOOGLE THE SYNOPSIS BEFORE HE AUDITIONED! BUT WHEN HE DID HE THE NIGHT AFTER, HE REALIZED HE DIGS ANGEL LIKE HELL YEAH HE’LL DO THAT SHIT IN A HEARTBEAT BUT EMILIE IS HIS BOYFRIEND?????

Same issue for Roman and Virgil because I have to be in love with my crush/ex enemy? Oh nooooooooooo.

The whole situation is wild and I love it.

But yeah that’s how the fake dating and stage kids element come into play if you were here from the VERY VERY beginning when I was bored out of my mind and made some weird prompts for people to choose.

BUT YEAH ROMAN AND EMILE ARE FREAKING OUT BECAUSE.OLD FEELINGS ARE RESURFACING AND THEY ARE TEMPTED TO MARCH UP TO THOMAS AND DEMAND HE EXPLAIN WHY HE DID THIS BUT THEY DON'T AND POOR PATTON HAS TO CALM TWO ANXIOUS BOYS AND VIRGIL IS HAPPY BECAUSE HE WANTED RODGER BUT LIKE NOW SHITS GETTING GAY AND HE DOESN'T KNOW IF HIS CRUSH ON ROMAN IS GONNA START GETTING OBVIOUS OR NOT AND LOGAN DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DOOOOO

Patton and Logan start to talk even more to help their bffs Roman and Virgil get their shit together and then Patton and Logan start to get close in the process and it's amazing.

But rehearsal happens and Emile and Remy are really awkward at first. And Emilie wants to slap Remy because weren’t they They don't talk about the abrupt and unexplained ending of their friendship and Emile doesn't explain how Remy broke his heart. But the eyes are the window to the soul and they both know there's words that need to be said that aren't being said…

But communication? In my christian household? Neverrrrrrrrrr

So it continues. And life goes on.

Virgil and Roman start dating because when Virgil was over at Romans house “rehearsing lines”, Roman got a bit too close when he sang “oh won't you light my candle~” and whoops know they're making out

Oh well life happens i guess

But back to Remile. It's about 2 weeks into rehearsal and they're starting blocking of Act 1 and it's going as one expects. Smooth and Rocky and back and forth and SLOW.

Most people are fitting into their roles pretty normally except for two people- you can guess who.

For the life of them, Remy and Emile can't get it together. Remy can dance and sing like nobody's business and he's been practicing in heels and it literally is giving Emilie a heart attack cause HOT DAMN IM GAY AS FUCK BUT I GOTTA KEEP IT TOGETHER REEEEE

But the second Remy makes eye contact with Emile he drops character. Emile is chill and fun like Collins. His scenes with Patton and Virgil? Gold. The second Angel comes on stage he gets more tense.

And Thomas doesnt say anything because its not the end of the first month but he notes it.

Emile is obviously upset. It’s kinda draining him being dragged around emotionally by Remy and Patton Roman and Dot and Larry are starting to get worried… it’s like the mental state he had in the summer is coming back and he’s closing himself off.

Clarimonde notices these things too because she’s not stupid… she asks Roman about it during Spanish. He says it isn’t his place because he knows Emilie's Side of the story- but not Remy's. and he doesn’t want to say anything he isn’t supposed to.

His answer gives Clarimonde all the clarification she needs because obviously Roman knows something big and it has to be that Emilie had feelings for Remy at some point and Remy cut their friendship and broke his heart.

But she doesn’t know what to do so she keeps her relationship with Remy because it’s not like he likes Emilie back. Right?

But deep down she knows he’s just scared of commitment because he never wants to go to her house and meet her parents. She barely knows anything about Remy's family or hopes and dreams. But what can she do but wait for him to open up? But he never does. And it nags at her.

I realize that I haven’t really talked to much about Remy… So here we go.

It’s complicated. Remy got scared. Of trusting one person so much that it could hurt him. Divorces can jack kids up especially if they go down ugly like it did for Remy's parents. He didn’t really believe in love. He didn’t believe in trust that didn’t come without a price.

But he forgot those worries when he was with Emile years before. He felt loved and cared for and he felt he could be himself.

But over the summer when Emile and Remy stopped hanging out… it’s because things got worse. Remy's mom started to blame the divorce on him. She said her father left because she couldn’t handle Remy and his lil brother Ethan who screamed and cried all the time. She started to go out for long points of time and come home with bloodshot eyes. She would scream at tell Remy that love never lasted and he needed to grow up and stop crying cause his dad never called.

And Remy was beside himself.Because seeing Emile just reminded him of all the stuff he couldn’t have. The carefree normal life he would never have.

So Remy threw up his walls and stopped talking to Emile. He shoved down his guilt and left him alone because Remy felt he didn’t need Emile or his warm light.

Remy wanted to grow up so he wouldn’t feel this pain and yearning for a childhood he’d never receive.

And that’s why he and Emile stopped being friends. That’s why Remy is fake.

Remy can’t pinpoint when it happened… but

as Angel he can be confident but it doesn’t feel like an act. He can dance around with a purpose. And when he sings his duet with Emile for the first time, and they hold hands, he feels a bit like the kid he was in elementary school again.

And he becomes thankful Thomas gave him the chance to do this show because it’s showing off. He’s coming out of his shell. And Emilie notices it and smiles more.

Because Emile feels happy when Remy can talk to him and not look like his walking on crackling ice.

Emile had time to mature and heal while Remy was out of his life but now he feels secure because he doesn’t have to be attached to his romantic feelings and they can just be friends. They do their scenes and it’s great. Remy can hold his hand on stage and dance and Emilie is accomplished because Remy looks so… free. Not holding anything back. Not being fake. He’s being his authentic self through Angel and he finds that beautiful.

Thomas smiles when the duo are onstage and realizes he made the right casting choice.

But one day Remy and Clarimonde walked out hand and hand after practice as Emilie waited for his parents to pick him up. Remy was smiling but then Remy was kissing her and there were hands and hair and Emile felt like he was on fire and ran. Because he can't handle this.

Remy has to pretend to be in love with him and it's going to destroy Emilie because ITS NOT REAL.

Clarimonde opens her eye for a split second and damn. She knows. She sees Emile run.

A part of her feels sad, because she has feelings for Remy, but she feels like she’s in the way of Emile and Remy. So she lets go. She breaks up with him because shes “not feeling the relationship anymore”, but she still wants to be friends. And yeah, Clarimonde hurts- but she smiles through it and knows its for the best. Even if it ain’t fair.

And Emile is calling Patton crying, curled up in a ball, wanting to rip his heart out. He can’t take it anymore and says so over and over. It’s Friday so Dot and Larry drive him over to Patton’s. Roman comes over and brings ice cream and they watch Adventure Time but then Marceline shows up and Emile starts crying because REMY BAGAHAHAHAS sO they switch to avatar.

And they all cuddle and are buried under tons of blankets and it’s great.

Roman offers to punch Remy and Patton whacks him upside the head. It’s funny.

And Emile still feels like crap but at least he knows he has good friends. He isn’t alone this time.

Taglist:

@mmd-ask-italy

@thestrangedino

@dreams-palette

@unring-this-bell

@nerdqueenkat

@iloveeverytjing123

@superwholocked-for-life

@ab-artist

@spaceless-void

@sevencrashing

@i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing

@absolutesandersidestrash

@geronimo-scamander-spd

@romansleftshoulderpad

@prplzorua

@patchworkofstars

If you don’t want to be added- please let me know! If you DO want to be added- go ahead and leave a comment because that’s easiest for me!

#remyxemile #remy sanders #ts remy #cartoon therapy fic #cartoon therapy #dr picani #ts emile #prinxiety #logicality #remile bullet point fic #My writing #ray writes

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ji-lixie · 2 years ago

Note

Hey, its gonna be okay. There are lots of moments in life where our pasions just arent as intense as before or even disapear for a little while, but that doesnt mean you should feel bad/angered with your self over it. Try to give this a breake, focus on other things even if it is only a week or two, because the more you drawn onto this feeling the harder its gonna be on you.

Also, you dont need to apologise to people for following you, you are doing you best🌸💖

ive kinda left this one in my inbox all day bc i dont know what to really say to it, ig? like. obviously i want to start with the fact that i appreciate u took time out of ur day to say something nice to someone whos struggling bc it genuinely means a lot to me that u did that!!

idk take some ramblings of a struggling artist or w/e u wanna call me. 'depressed bitch' also works lmao

i guess i just... always feel like i'm not doing enough as a creator. like as a fan idc abt making content, but i like making things. i think just... stuff comes back around like darl+ing did, or like HOT did, and i just kinda watch everyone else make pretty much every single thing ever and i sit there and im like... well, what do i do? what can i do? everyone's always going to make things better than me to begin with.

it's not like drawing or writing where i'm the only person who can create a thing that way. its taking the exact same content as other people do and just... doing it, but always doing it worse because other people have done this enough times that it looks easy to them even though i know its not. some people probably have their stuff automated so that they can churn content out quickly.

i guess i'll always feel like... not good enough. and i think that's always where my passion dies out. and if i'm honest, i think i notice it the most in caratblr out of anything else. it always feels weirdly competitive. gif the mv first. make your sets for the new gose episode and get them posted as fast as you can but also make them look good. there's a new fancam? there will be gifsets already uploaded before you even view the first few seconds of it.

and it's not that i would ever ask another creator to slow down because if they're genuinely enjoying making their content then go for it? have fun? i just wish people consumed content better. if you aren't a "big name" then you aren't going to get notes. sometimes it feels like if you aren't a part of closed network that you aren't going to get anything either. or maybe people just... don't want to reblog things.

i don't know. i just notice it the most in caratblr compared to the other groups i made gifs for. i think that's honestly why i really prefer making content for groups like treasure or golcha? its just... more comfortable. i don't feel like i'm constantly competing with other people to produce something for them.

i make a gifset of hyunsuk and i feel at home with getting reblogs from my mutuals and seeing people be nice in the notes. i make that skz + red set and i see some ppl being super nice and calling it pretty/stunning or pointing out the way felix looks in one of the gifs.

which isnt to say caratblr isnt nice. i think abt the sweet tags i get usually from my mutuals, sometimes from ppl outside that circle, too. but idk, i just notice an imbalance more of reblogs to likes more often there. i compare myself to other creators who get hundreds of notes which is probably my own damn fault for comparing so much.

and i think that just... genuinely impacts my enjoyment of things. sometimes im like "oh maybe it'll be fun to gif the new mv haha" or something and then i remember oh, right, im not talented enough for that. other people are going to do it and do it better every single time so why should i try?

also lmao its just hard to be on tumblr in general when stuff like this happens. logic says "take a break for a few days" but i just... i dont want to. i like being here. i like interacting with my mutuals. i just know i'm going to sit there and feel fucking awful though if i try to scroll through my dash. and if i take a break for too long, then it feels like im falling even further behind. i already have to take a fucking extra semester to finish my schooling, i feel even more pathetic falling behind in a hobby that i actually like.

its stupid. sometimes i feel like i don't deserve to be here and to be a fan if i let so much stupid shit like that bother me. i know i don't have to create content to be a fan, but i just... i like doing it. its just hard to not lose all motivation again and wonder why i even bother being here and listening when i can't give them my all in return.

#hoshranghaes.ask #anon #sorry this is longer than i thought it was going to be

0 notes

maplecum-blog · 7 years ago

Text

@kinnie-against-incest

I couldn’t reblog the original post, OP(or someone in the thread?) most likely blocked me. It is obvious that they only blocked me to have the last say in the matter, in front of their followers at least. Anways, as much as i would love to rant more about this, itis not about OP but i wanted to adress your points.

So here is my response in a seperate post:

My pal, as a gay male, I would say you are very gross and homophobic and wrong. Here is why:

(I’m under no obligation to be nice to you if you’re insulting me tbh, but i’ll do anyway for the principal of things)

• You can read and enjoy something thats still harmful to you? I bet a lot of the gay men who read yaoi either know its harmful and still enjoy it or arent aware of how harmful it is. The ones who dont realise its harm are in danger because yaoi oftentimes normalizes rape.

My dude, have you ever seen any hetero porn ever? talk about rape normalization. stop acting as if yaoi creators inventend rape. The only people who link rape and yaoi together are antis themselves.

And please stop implying that you somehow know better about their lifes than people who enjoy certain genres. That’s patronizing.

People aren’t as stupid as you think.

• Im not an expert on this stuff, but I dont see how the

male gaze only applies to sfw content? If you see heterosexual porn, and it focusses on revealing shots of the woman rather than the man, isnt that a result of the male gaze? (I may be totally off so @ other people whod know better correct me if Im wrong).

Yes, hetero porn is often marketed toward males, females are considered as a product. So the camera doesn’t focus much on the male to help males aka the main audience with the self-insert.

As for the male gaze well, someone added to that thread and i quote them The male gaze was a concept created by feminist film theory to discuss female representation and usually objectification in media. link to the post[x]

As you see it is a feminist theory, it discusses female representation, i’m not sure if porn is considered as female representation? porn is just porn. Here’s a link for more info, it says that there is no female equivalent for male gaze (which is why i didn’t find any results for the latter) [x]

• Also regardless of whether it is the female gaze or not, yaoi is not made for gay men. Most creators of yaoi are female. And while some of them are lesbian, most are straight or bisexual (and yes, bi girls can still fetishize gay men. Just like a bi guy can catcall a woman and still be just as disgusting).

I can’t believe you’re comparing two incomparable things: creating/consuming yaoi and sexual assault.

• “An average person knows that yaoi was never meant to be a realistic representation of mlm.” Im willing to bet that a lot of people who read yaoi either are young teenagers or people who discovered yaoi as a teenager, and maybe have never seen a real gay relationship in their life? (Again, @ people who know this stuff better correct me if Im wrong). When I first read yaoi, I was 13 and I actually thought gay men acted and had sex like that. Other kids who read yaoi and dont have close friends or family who are gay will think what I thought, because thats all theyve been shown.

It’s because you’re not supposed to read yaoi at 13. maybe we should ban porn and any mature content on the internet also because 13 years old might watch it?

• You ARE putting gay men into a porn category. Youve got fujoshis on this site calling real life relationships yaoi. Real. Life. Relationships. Youre dehumanizing gay men by doing this. Demonizing us too, because gay men being obsessed with fucking has been a stigma for a long time. Have you ever seen anti gay propoganda depicting one male figure bending over while another male figure stands behind him? Yeah. Yaoi doesnt help with this.

Again this has nothing to do with yaoi and everything to do with how shitty the person reading it is. If somone is calling real life gay couples yaoi it’s probably means that they are misinformed and think that it’s an appropriate term:you can help people like this by telling them that no it is not. So how about less posts like “Fujoshis can choke LOL” and more actually helpful posts?

because gay men being obsessed with fucking has been a stigma for a long time. Have you ever seen anti gay propoganda depicting one male figure bending over while another male figure stands behind him?

The problem lays in purity culture. That sex is such a bad thing, a sin. That having sex makes you less pure.that sex between queer people is even more sinful than hetero sex.

In an ideal world, one male figure bending over while another stands behind him should never be used in an anti gay propagonda. It shouldn’t be offensive.

• Actually, youre right. This IS a case of a girl trying to convince A GAY MAN that yaoi ismt harmful. Shut the fuck up and go home, this isnt your issue to speak upon.

Bye homophobe! ✌️

Ah damn I have bad news for you, not gonna happen :)

I find your tags pretty interesting, this sums up pretty much tumblr discourse culture:

I belong to [insert x demograpic here] so my opinion is more valid then yours. I have to disagree, i wouldn’t care less if a stranger online dismisses my opinion but here is why i would never do the same:

you got it wrong, If someone had valid point then I don’t care if they’re a 16 years old heterosexual girl or an adult gay man. Your identity wouldn’t change the way i respond to you. your words does.

I was refering to the fact that teens invloved in discourse are responsible for 90% of posts like “Fujoshis can chock LOL” (if an adult makes a post like this that’s even worse)

I would never dismiss someone’s opinion because of their identitiy.

Or else, i might as well just puts a list of my mental illnesses on my header, my gender and sexual identity and my race. Just to gain an advantage in discourse. Honestly that’s such a shitty concept tbh.

Being a called homophobe on tumblr dot com means literally nothing. It’s such a strong word but you people throw it aroud on the daily.

I live somewhere in the third world where homosexuality is illegal, my life is in danger simply for existing. If i was ever somehow outed my family would kill me before the goverment does anything about it.

I know I am not like that, not that gays can’t be homophobic (or else internalized homophobia wouldn’t be a thing)

The point is, you don’t know shit about people you talk to online, please don’t fill the blanks with false assumptions about them just to make yourself feel better when insulting them.

peace xx

#yaoi #fujoshi discourse #long post #whoosh #can't believe i wrote this #didn't proof read soz

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onlyjihoons · 8 years ago

Text

boyfriend!jihoon

a/n; ok so this is another shotgun idea of mine,, and also to swerve back into jihoon’s lane after being in daehwi’s lane for 48 hours lmao and also a reason for me to charge my laptop

much love for @markleetrashh for helping me out with my writers’ block while writing this💜💜💜

and also! do check out the previous one i did for magumagu!

request

ok i am back my friends

with a bf!au

but for winkboy this time

ok leggo

let’s start w how ya’ll met okay

so you’re at gongcha,, a store which sells bubble tea

ok so gongcha was rebranded to liho in singapore and im so sad so here is gongcha in my au T_T

you wanted to get this strawberry drink you were craving so much and finally you can cause a new gongcha store opened in your area

blackpink in your area

gongcha used to be in the town but you were too lazy to travel there just to get the drink so

and surprise surprise the store is crowded af bc its new

but anyhow you still queued up to order

and surprisingly it was quick that your order came so you just left the store happy w your strawberry drink

but before you could even get 2 stores away from gongcha you hear fast footsteps behind you

and you looked back and you see this boy running to you in a mask

so ukno, human instincts,

you run too

and finally after like 20000 meters of running he caught up with you

and you’re like okok who are you and why are you chasing me

and he catches his breath like,

“i’m– parkjiocohbijasoh”

“huh?”

“i’m–

and that boy’s bubble tea in his hands spilled on your sweater and you’re like !!!!

that boy was also like !!!!!

and he takes off his mask and apologises profusely

“i’M SO SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN IT UHHH–”

and you look closely and this boy just looks all too familiar,,,,,

park.ji.hoon. winkboy. produce 101–

“i chased you all the way here to tell you that you took the wrong order,, but omg i’m so sorry i spilled on your sweater!!!!!!” -jihoon frantically apologising to you

and you’re just like,,

park jihoon chased me just to tell me i got the wrong order???? did i save korea in my past life???

“it’s ok,, I–I–”

and then jihoon takes off his mustard sweater(see gif)

and hands it to you

“here, please have my sweater!! i’m so sorry…”

“y/n”

“y/n! your name’s rlly pretty^^”

“it’s alright!!! i,,i gotta go now,, my mom’s waiting for me at home, see you around, jihoon!” -you trying to act casual and not know him

but deep inside you’re like “did i just talk to park jihoon”

you went home happy, and hugging jihoon’s sweater to sleep

and also you realised another part of jihoon that you never got to see on national tv,,

a soft and innocent side of him that no one really knows about!!

ok ngl your bias wasn’t jihoon at all, ok you had no bias to be honest

and boom your crush on him developed slowly

but you know that the only thing that is the binding you to him is fate(which of course, you have little)

but fate decided to shine on you;-)

and a few days later you made your way to gongcha again,, bc once is never enough

and you’re wearing jihoon’s sweater!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111

and while you’re queuing up you felt a tap on your shoulder and you turned back,, its jihoon

and you panicked like

“jihoon?”

“y/n?”

“i’m here to get the same drink,, please don’t take my order” you joked and he playfully shoved your shoulder,,

“i see that you’re wearing my sweater”

and you’re like omg do you need it back????

and he’s like its ok,,i dont need it,, really

and hE BLUSHES

you swore on your perfect eyesight that park jihoon was blushing????

and you’re like okay what do i do now

and then suddenly jihoon asks if he could borrow your phone

and you’re like,, why

“i–i was wondering if maybe you want to be friends,,, i mean if you wanna!”

and you’re like ,, ok sure,,

and then he just types his number into your phone,, and runs off without his order

you’re like ok wait didn’t you order smth

and then you realised that the drink is yours,, jihoon paid for it

and that’s how you guys met:”)

i’m sorry if this isn’t going anywhere but blame mnet for giving jihoon so little screentime:”)

fastforward to when you guys are closer friends!!!!!!

its gonna be vv cliche here so please bear with me!!

so jihoon invited you to the recording for Oh Little Girl,,

and before that you went to backstage to give him some rapport!!

“thank you for coming omg i didn’t expect you to come!!”

and when you saw him in his stage costume like,,, you were shook

bc damn daniel he looks fine af despite the hideous ronald mcdonald shirt?????

you found yourself stuttering out of shyness

“i–i–”

“jihoon! we need to reherse in 5!” you hear someone call out to him

“coming!”

and honestly this friendship with jihoon thing has been a whirl and all crazy cause ya’ll were literally on talking terms just because he spilled bubble tea on your sweater

and ya’ll were like just like average friends and you’re already feeling the tingly feelings you have when you have a crush on a person you have known for a very long time??

“look, jihoon i–”

“i like you.”

“huh?”

“i like you, alot, y/n.”

“jihoon, you can’t be serious here, we literally just met like months ago just because you spilled bubble tea on my sweater,, and now you’re saying that you like me?”

“yeah. i think its just me but, i get this feeling where i feel empty if i don’t talk to you in a day, i feel uneasy if you don’t send a selfie to save our streak on snapchat…”

and boy, your heart was stolen already

but you didn’t want to be jihoon’s gf as a result of your infatuation,, that’s just nasty and selfish

“can i come back to you tomorrow? it’s just too overwhelming for me rn,, i need to sort out my thoughts”

jihoon was surprisingly cool w it and even was like “i’ll even wait a lifetime for you till you say yes”

asdfghjkl jihoon

“anyhow,, good luck up there!! you’ll do good!”

and then cheeky jihoon decided to plant a peck on your cheek and then blasts off

dang you’ve never felt so violated(in a good way) in your life

and the jihoon does this in the distance:

“nae maeum sogae jeojang!”

or otherwise known as “i’ll save you in my heart”

damn jihoon

you were pretty much stolen and all you’ve gotta do is to break it to jihoon!!

so you guys meet up at the exact same gongcha you met for the first time

i gotta stop mentioning gongcha smh

and you decide to do it in the cheesiest way possible

you know where this is going

you did the jeojang action and said,, “nado,, nae maeum sogae jeojang!”

its basically the above with a me too in it

iTS SO ADORABLE YA”LL HUGGED AND THE EMPLOYEES WERE SO HAPPY FOR THE BOTH OF YOU

okay now for the boyfriend part

like daehwi, every moment that is spent with jihoon is never dull

his main priority in life is to see your smile and make you happy bc he just loves seeing smiling y/n!!!

since jihoon is actually tall or is it just me and my short height of 158cm

he will randomly hug you and smol pecks on the forehead!!

and as cheryl perceives,, jihoon would prolly be a mixture of donghyuck and doyoung any dohyuck(??) shippers here

jihoon would also be the type of bf to just ruffle your hair and squish your cheeks and stuff

“oguogu my jagi’s so cute”

rip

he will try his utmost best to make your day if you’re in the dumps

even if it risks his reputation as wink boy lol

i mean,, i love memehoon too,, reblog if you agree

you know the times when he tries to be mature and all that and be like do less skinship

“don’t do that omg that’s so cheesy”

but he secretly likes it ukno

me 100%

dates

yes

i mean,, jihoon can bring you to the most random places like,, i dunno, a animal farm??

or a dog cafe just to pet smol puppies

have you seen jihoon with the doggos mnet brought to cheer the trainees up

and also jihoon with the eel during the blind box challenge w jonghyun

“annyeong chinguya”

can you imagine him with kids too ok smh i shall stop here

he could also bring you too moomin cafe,, bc who doesn’t like moomin omg

ya’ll moomin isn’t cheap a keychain costs like, fifteen dollars

and yet when you guys were about to ask for the bill jihoon turns up with a medium sized moomin plushie

he just really likes to spoil you,, but not too overbearing like on every date there is something for you ukno

and if you guys ever have a date at the amusement parks you would get matching headbands

and also buy lots of food to binge eat on

most prolly pizza

and ya’ll are so hyper ya’ll go on every ride and dish out stupid dares like,, pose for the ride camera during the ride

loser gets a finger flick

but boy he has no mercy his finger flicks have power too

at the end he will plant a kiss on your forehead bc he’s scared you got hurt

and when you guys get a break and get water or like soft drinks to drink,, this happens:

jihoon is a lowkey sucker for all these kdrama shit okay

speaking of kdrama he would bring you to places where kdramas are filmed just to take pictures and poorly reenact the scene

i mean,, its cheesy but you both like it bc you end up laughing everytime

some dates are lazy and at home where jihoon is either exhausted from practice or just plain lazy

mostly lazy

before that you guys will make a trip to the supermarket to get snacks

and an elderly couple will comment on how cute the both of you looked together

blushing fiesta will start and awkward thank yous

back home,, over watched movies and lots of giggling

and one fine date ya’ll will be giggling like usual and then jihoon suddenly turns serious

and you notice too

jihoon slowly leans in and you lean in too

and then

yes

your fiRST KISS aaaAAAAlol and ya’ll will be awk af for like 15 minutes but then back to the playful banter ukno

overall, bf!jihoon is also playful and cute jihoon

he will use aegyo to get his way

but dw you can too

okay this is getting too long for an au oops

have a nice day/night friends

thank you for reading!

#park jihoon #produce 101 season 2 #produce 101 scenarios #produce 101 #maroo entertainment #Fluffy writes

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coquuin · 6 years ago

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really LONG CHARACTER SURVEY. RULES. repost , don’t reblog ! good luck !

TAGGED. i stole it from Kiki!! TAGGING. whoever wants to do it!!

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Ezekiel Axel Ruiz Rosario

NICKNAME: Zeke

AGE: (Verse dependent) anywhere from 19 to 25! most often tho, i usually make him 25.

BIRTHDAY: November 15 (self given bc he doesnt know his real birthday)

ETHNIC GROUP: Puerto Rican / Latino

NATIONALITY: British-American

LANGUAGE(S): English, Spanish, Dutch, Japanese, Latin, Romanian, some Russian, and some Chinese! he likes to study languages a lot....

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Demi-Pansexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Demi-Panromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Hes multiship boiiii

CLASS: Upper class, though he really doesnt have very expensive tastes or anything. Seems like he’d be lower class, but. yknow, he is a celebrity so.

HOMETOWN / AREA: London, England

CURRENT HOME: A very small and shitty apartment. Yeah, he could get a much better home bc he does have the money, but... hes weird and likes a more slightly cramped space. dont question Ezekiel, he has weird preferences.

PROFESSION: Guitarist of the rock band Rogue! also used to work at a music shop when he was like 17, but that was back in London.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Very curly and messy black hair! He hardly bothers to take care of it. its prolly greasy bc hes a fucking gremlin pls make him take a shower. stinky boye

EYES: BIG OL FUCKIN EYES. they’re brown! a little sunken, and has massive bags under them--rather than the bags being from lack of sleep, though, theyre actually a result of too much sleep! Ezekiel can and WILL fall asleep wherever and whenever he wants. you cant stop him. his eyes are pretty big actually, and very expressive!

NOSE: the bitch looks like its been broken like ten times. he got a weird ass nose. its a little big, but not terribly so!

FACE: scrawny as FUCK. motherfucker’s head shape looks like a fuckin crescent moon. you know that one tiktok meme with the girl who has the weird ass moon lookin head? bitch looks like that a little bit. croissant lookin ass head.

LIPS: very thin! pls get him some chapstick

COMPLEXION: bitch looks like he hasnt gone out in the sun in over 20 years! which, actually, isnt entirely wrong bc he pretty much hasn’t. pale as fuck! his skin looks gray, like a fucking corpse. he looks like a zombie, but i swear to god hes a plain ass human i think

BLEMISHES: a lot! mostly on his body tho, especially on his back.

SCARS: A L O T!!! his back is literally covered in a shit ton of scars in the shape of upside down crosses, and he has a lot on the rest of his body as well, and several on his left wrist. yeah he, uh... he aint okay

TATTOOS: None! hes way too terrified to get one and hates the idea of one being stuck on his body for like the rest of his life rip

HEIGHT: 6′ 3″ / 190.05cm

WEIGHT: about like... 98lbs?? which is. fUCKING TERRIBLE FOR HOW TALL HE IS!!! LIKE HOLY SHIT EZEKIEL ARE YOU GOOD??? HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?!?!?! EZEKIEL?!?!?!?! FUCKING EAT SOMETHING PL EASE

BUILD: SCRAWNY AS SHIT. HE IS SO SKINNY HOLY SHIT. OH MY GOD GET THIS BOY A FUCKING BURGER OR SOMETHING BEFORE HE DIES JESUS CHRIST!!!!

ALLERGIES: Dandelions! He’ll just sneeze a lot around them

USUAL HAIRSTYLE: The bangs are kiiiinda kept to the side sorta just so its not falling in his eyes, but other than that, he doesnt really bother to like, style it or anything. its just curly and messy. although! when he was a child all the way to his teens, he did have a stupid ass bowlcut! but that wasnt his own choice, so he cant really be blamed for it :(

USUAL FACE LOOK: motherfucker has the WORST case of resting bitch face you will ever fucking see. even when hes happy he still looks angery sometimes!!! but thats literally just his fucking face!!!!

USUAL CLOTHING: a looot of slightly baggy clothing. lots of hoodies! especially wears a lot of black and red, mostly black. also wears mostly boots or sneakers, usually the ladder. he just doesnt really give two shits about fashion, as he’s more concerned with just sorta.. hiding his body. hes very insecure! save him

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR(S): "the devil”, getting close to anyone, performing in front of people, people in general, cats, knives & other sharp objects, the sight of his own blood

ASPIRATION(S): "to escape the Devil’s wrath,” as he phrases it. of course, the whole ‘THE DEVIL IS OUT TO KILL EVERYONE I LOVE AND THEN HE’LL KILL ME NEXT’ thing is obviously just in Ezekiel’s head, but it feels very real to him! he basically just wants to be free of the “demons” in his head. aside from that, he also really really reeaaally wants to own an orphanage someday! basically take in orphan kids and help give them a much better life than he had. but as for right now, he fully realizes he’s not ready for that at all, so he’s currently more focused on his music career and getting better mentally, though the ladder is a slow process.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Patient, simple, humble

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Rude, temperamental, paranoid

ZODIAC: Scorpio!

TEMPERAMENT: uhhhh fuck idk i just took a quiz for this and ezekiel got like a tie between phlegmatic and melancholic--but if i had to guess, i’d say melancholic!

SOUL TYPE(S): Spiritualist!

ANIMALS: i always associate Ezekiel with dogs bc. he literally just acts like a fuckin angery dog. and an angery snake or something. bUT MOSTLY DOGS. he will literally bark at people, because he’s a fucking weirdo who doesnt know how to behave like a normal fucking human being

VICE HABIT(S): uhhh drugs and alcohol are a big thing he does!! and generally pushing everyone away so he doesnt get close to anyone! and also acting like a gotdam ANIMAL. SOMEONE PLS MAKE EZEKIEL STOP FUCKING BARKING AND HISSING AT PEOPLE!!!

FAITH: Christian! his religion is very important to him too!

GHOSTS?: Yes!

AFTERLIFE?: Yes!

REINCARNATION?: He isn’t really sure about reincarnation, but wants to believe it exists.

ALIENS?: Yes.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: fuck if he knows. ezekiel could not give less of a shit about politics and hardly knows anything about it bc he really doesnt keep up with anything.

SOCIO POLITICAL POSITION: he doesnt give a fuck

EDUCATION LEVEL: None. he never even went to school, fun fact!

FAMILY.

FATHER: Dead!

MOTHER: Dead!

SIBLINGS: None!

EXTENDED FAMILY: None!

NAME MEANING(S): Ezekiel means “God will strengthen”! I have no idea what Rosario means sadly bc i cant find anything good on it on google :(

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: None that he knows of.

FAVORITES.

BOOK: He couldn’t possibly pick a single favorite book--he loves a lot! but he loves mostly romance genres! which is so fucking ironic considering he’s fucking terrified of getting into relationships. and even more ironically? he doesnt read any horror genres bc it scares him too much!

MOVIE: he doesn’t know.

5 SONGS: While My Guitar Gently Weeps - the Beatles; Brick in the Wall - Pink Floyd; Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin; Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen; Don’t Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult.

DEITY: God, Jesus

HOLIDAY: Christmas! everyone expects Ezekiel to be like the grinch or something and hate Christmas, but nope! He surprisingly loves it!

MONTH: March

SEASON: Fall

PLACE: His bed

WEATHER: Preferably a little cold, but not too much, bc he just cant stand being hot--and completely dark outside!

SOUND: Gentle guitar strums.

SCENT(S): Ivory

TASTE(S): Anything thats like. Meat. hes very picky tho

FEEL(S): Skin. As in, like, being affectionate with someone else! He’s just very touch starved rip

ANIMAL(S): Yknow, oddly enough, despite acting like a fuckin wild animal a lot, he doesnt like animals much. but definitely dogs are his favorite!

NUMBER: 20

COLORS: Red and black--though he likes blue as well, especially dark blue.

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Music--especially with guitar! And painting, writing, literature.

BAD AT: Anything to do with math or science and stuff like that; anything that requires physical work. hes p much bad at like.. most things tbh.

TURN ONS: Just like.. be soft and gentle with him... also probably has a lowkey praise kink--if you could call it much of a kink i guess? hes pretty vanilla tbh. hes just soft.....

TURN OFFS: If you go rough on him at all he WILL cry. Also anything that, like, restricts him like ropes or some shit will literally make him panic so fucking bad. basically hes just vanilla as fuck, just be gentle with him pls

HOBBIES: Writing / playing music, writing in general, painting, watching random ass movies on TV until he falls asleep, sleeping, avoiding his problems like the fuckin wind

TROPES: man fuck if i know

AESTHETIC TAGS: literally all of Aurelio Voltaire’s songs; shit you’d see in Halloween (which is funny bc Ezekiel fucking hates Halloween); vampires; satanic symbolism. which is all ironic, bc Ezekiel doesnt actually like spooky shit! but it all sure does give big Ezekiel vibes anyway

GPOY QUOTES: huh

FC INFO.

MAIN FC(S): Jack the ripper from, well, Oyasumi Jack the Ripper!

ALT FC(S): None!

OLDER FC(S): None!

YOUNGER FC(S): None rip

VOICE CLAIM(S): Murdoc Niccals from Gorillaz

GENDERBENT FC(S): iiiiii dont really do genderbends pretty much so none

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: IF YOU COULD WRITE YOUR CHARACTER YOUR WAY IN THEIR OWN MOVIE, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED, WHAT STYLE WOULD IT BE FILMED IN, AND WHAT WOULD IT BE ABOUT?:

Honestly probably something like the movie Sybil??? like basically just delving deep into his whole psychology and mindset and whatnot and why he acts the way he acts. those are always like my FAVORITE type of movies, and Ezekiel would honestly be fucking perfect for something like that bc literally every single aspect of his entire personality has been molded in some way shape or form by some event in his life, especially to do with the cult he was raised in, and it hONESTLY IS SO INTERESTING TO JUST LIKE.. STUDY WHAT EZEKIELS BRAIN IS LIKE BASICALLY. AT LEAST FOR ME ANYWAY BC I AM HIS MUN AND ALL BUT.

Q2: WHAT WOULD THEIR SOUNDTRACK / SCORE SOUND LIKE?:

for some reason i always kinda associate him with like edgy violin and piano music?? i mean hey rock stars can be classy too fuck u

Q3: WHY DID YOU START WRITING THIS CHARACTER?:

WELL ORIGINALLY WHEN I FIRST CREATED HIM HE WAS JUST BASED OFF MURDOC NICCALS BC, YALL ALREADY KNOW DAMN WELL IM OBSESSED WITH THAT PICKLE MAN, BUT. Now, however, he’s WAAAAAAAAY different and i just love writing him so much bc like. basically like what i said in the movie question!! he is SO fucking interesting to delve into psychology wise. like, yeah he has an edgy ass tragic backstory, but whats neat about that is you can absolutely see how said edgy backstory ties into his mindset and individual habits and how the memories of it still affects his everyday life despite the fact that he’s escaped it a long time ago now. even in the small things he does, chances are is that every single thing that he does is either something he does to soothe and comfort himself for his own safety, or something that has just been fucking drilled into his mind by the cult members and whatnot, if any of that makes sense? LIKE YALL DONT UNDERSTAND I HAVE LITERALLY WATCHED LIKE HOURS LONG DOCUMENTARIES ON ORPHANAGES AND SATANIC CULTS AND PSYCHOLOGY AND HOW TRAUMA LIKE WHAT EZEKIEL EXPERIENCED CAN FUCK SOMEONE UP, JUST FOR THE SAKE OF WRITING HIM CORRECTLY AND REALISTICALLY. LIKE HE STARTED OFF AS SOME MURDOC NICCALS REJECT WHEN I MADE HIM IN LIKE?? 2015 MAYBE??? BUT NOW, MY MAIN INTEREST IN HIM IS LIKE, HOW FASCINATING HIS FUCKING MIND IS IN A WAY. idk im a big psychology nerd but.

Q4: WHAT FIRST ATTRACTED YOU TO THIS CHARACTER?:

Murdoc

Q5: DESCRIBE THE BIGGEST THING YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR MUSE:

him pushing everyone away! like its one thing to have a self-defense mechanism like where you just generally act kinda mean to drive people off, but Ezekiel can really take it to a whole new level and he really can be like.. a hUGE ASSHOLE BC OF IT. its mostly when he realizes that he may be starting to become close with anyone that it really gets to a bad point and he becomes all the more self-destructive. THIS IS GONNA BE VERY UNSANITARY SO WARNING BUT hes literally told someone in an rp once like “YOURE GOING TO FORCE ME TO EAT YOUR SHIT OR DRINK YOUR FUCKING URINE JUST LIKE THOSE FUCKING PEOPLE IN THE ORPHANAGE DID, ARENT YOU???? IS THAT WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT FROM ME?? TO USE ME, HURT ME, CUT ME, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT??? WE ARE NEVER GOING TO BE FUCKING FRIENDS YOU GODDAMN IDIOT!!! WHAT THE HELL MADE YOU THINK WE HAD ANYTHING IN COMMON??” AND ITS JUST KINDA.. YIKES SCOOB! but basically hes willing to say just about anything to push people away so he can avoid getting close to anyone

Q6: WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH YOUR MUSE?:

WE BOTH FEAR AND AVOID ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS LIKE THE FUCKIN WIND. also when i was younger i definitely had a tendency to try and make people hate me just to push people away like Ezekiel does but im not like that anymore thankfully!!

Q7: HOW DOES YOUR MUSE FEEL ABOUT YOU?:

oh hed probably try to fucking kill me lol

Q8: WHAT CHARACTERS DOES YOUR MUSE HAVE INTERESTING INTERACTIONS WITH?

HONESTLY LIKE.. P MUCH EVERY INTERACTION EZEKIEL HAS IS SO GOOD. Ezekiel is one of those characters where its very hard to have a boring rp bc he just does so much shit, so like no matter who i rp him with, its bound to be amazing. ALTHOUGH I DO NEED TO MAKE HIM INTERACT WITH MORE PEOPLE TBH!!! the only problem i have when writing him sometimes is actually making him talk to new people, bc of his extreme shut-in attitude and whatnot, so he literally just never starts conversations with anyone he barely knows.

Q9: WHAT GIVES YOU INSPIRATION TO WRITE YOUR MUSE?:

listening to any music that reminds me of him! but otherwise, it usually just comes pretty naturally to me tbh. just some days ill be in the mood for him all day--same with a lot of my characters actually.

Q10: HOW LONG DID THIS TAKE YOU TO COMPLETE?:

A LONG ASS TIME

#shut up erica; ooc #ezekiel facts

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