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grayfilmsandstuff · 4 years ago

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Hey there friendo! Could I get a funky madcom matchup? I'm fine with whoever (๑¯∇¯๑) This is also gonna be hella disjointed, so I apologize in advance (╥w╥)

I'm 4'11 with super dark brown eyes and hair and a baby face; most people always think I'm much younger than I actually am (I'm 20, but just look like a forever teen I guess) I've got dreadlocks that go a little past mid back, freckles, beauty marks and light patches all over my body (not sure if its vitiligo or not), and I wear prescription sports goggles instead of normal glasses since the straps make me less likely to lose them, and Im accidentally rough on stuff sometimes

Agender, aroace with leaning for gender neutral and neopronouns, but i dont really care much in the end ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I've got a metric shit-ton of mental illness, so my mental state is Wack™, tho I'll point out my ADHD and Autism since those are my most prominent. Paradoxical is the best word to describe me cuz I can range from feral gremlin memelord to so-quiet-you-forget-Im-there (I accidentally scare people alot cuz of this). Relatively apathetic emotionally, and I can sometimes struggle with social cues, I'm also very childish, hyperactive and immature, and can be blunt and straight forward with my words. I have a trash sense of humor (I'll basically laugh at anything), tho I do enjoy dark, self-deprecating, and/or inappropriate jokes the most. Since most people see me as "ignorant baby", I like fucking with them by just saying the weirdest shit or casually cursing because I can. Honestly, the amount of memes, shitposts, and copypastas that I've memorized just for the sake of a joke, is amazing.

I'm academically smart to a degree, with a leaning towards the sciences, maths, and engineering. Mostly a big psychology and astronomy nerd and really big into art. I've gotta bunch of sketchbooks and folders full of drawings, (mostly character designs), from over the years and too many damn color pencils (that I will continue to add on too, because fuck yeah colors). I'm really into transformers, comics, anime, video games, and true crime. I like to lift weights and have questionable eating habits (forgetting to eat is a problem of mine so I always have snacks on me, and I tend to eat things I really shouldnt; Ex. Chalk) and basically eat like a famine survivor when it comes to food. I practically inhale my food and I tend to get aggressive if someone tries to interact with me while I'm eating or cooking. All and all tho, I'm mostly here to vibe and just live in the moment.

I have a lot of cat-like habits and tend to headbutt, rub up against, and bite and/or lick people who I like; walk on my toes alot; and prefer small spaces over wide open ones. I'm also really flexible, so it's not odd to causally find me weird ass positions. Gets the nyoomies randomly and struggles with volume control (not helped by me being slightly hard at hearing), so I'll usually pace around while talking and making random noises (echolocalia basically, and I'll mostly beep, meow, trill, make Kirby noises "poyo!", etc.,), and also hand flappy! I also like to sing to myself and have a really great range (mostly on the higher end of the spectrum), as well as decent voice acting capabilities! I mirror things alot, so if I interact with someone long enough, I'll subconsciously start mimicking them and their habits (mostly verbal quirks and accents, but physical quirks too sometimes). Very much prefer hot and humid weather and get real tried/hibernate when it gets colder. For that reason, I've got a huge nest of soft blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals.

i.. . .this was so long.. . .. i love you thank you for sending in a request but note for people in the future please don't make your requests this long it makes it rough on me

this is a good example of the longest request i'll take and this is a good example of the shortest use this to your advantage

i match you wiiiiiith...

Hank!

- Hank isn't sure where you came from but he returned to the bunker with you one day and after the shock factor was over, everyone accepted it and welcomed you in

- they really like your goggles, sometimes they'll point to their own and then point to you, saying that you were matching :}

- he's got a wack mental state too, so he understands a lot of what you're going through and helps you with social cues from the other three, and just is there in general to help out

- you also help them if they feel like they need to lean onto you for comfort or help

- he actually thinks your bluntness is helpful because he's the kind of person is mostly oblivious and doesn't understand what you're saying unless you say it directly and say exactly what you mean

- they love making you laugh at the silliest things. if makes them really happy knowing that they can make you smile or laugh no matter what the circumstances are

- a lot of the time when you say a meme or a copypasta in front of him he won't understand and will ask you what it means

- "one bad gloop and she do what i yoinky two big splurgs and a big gloopy three more yoinks, then i buy me a smoothie poured up a gloop, that's a gloop and a splurgy"

- "...i'm sorry what"

- they really look up to how smart you are and it fascinates them when you'll just ramble about a topic because they know that means you're really interested in it

- you love drawing and a lot of the time you give your assorted doodles to Hank. he loves and cherishes them because what the heck how are you so talented??

- they get onto you for eating things you shouldn't. they want you be happy and healthy, not just the former

- he also enjoys watching you cook whenever you do! he tries his best to help but the big guy has no idea how you do it

- they LOVE your cat-like habits. they love cats. period. any time you'll meow or rub up against them they just melt entirely

- the first time you picked up on something he said and started mimicking it, his initial reaction was :O but it grew more into a :D

thanks for the request! i tried to keep it short with all that you provided me, have a good day my friend

#mc but the good kind #my writing #from the minds of others #text post #x reader #x reader matchup #hank x reader #madcom x reader #madness combat x reader #madcom #madness combat #hank j. wimbleton #mc hank #madcom hank #madness hank #madness combat hank #anon

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eunsthings · 5 years ago

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Museums

Part 1 l The meeting?

Genre: fluff🥰, a veryyyyy slow burn

(Reader is a veterinary student on more or less her final year of vet school who has a part time job in editing and is kinda smol and socially awkward)

Pairing: Tsukishima x fem!reader (post timeskip)

Word count: 1.3k

Warning: (first time writing fic)

Part 1 II Series masterlist II Part 2

Time was ticking; the deadline for your project was nearing. By now it was very nearly the end of your last class for the day; you couldn’t wait for this to end already. By the grace of the heavens, your professor had dismissed you and never had you sprinted as quickly as you did now when you head towards your dorm room. Going there, childish thoughts swirl in your brain, “Why does this University have to be so huge?” you turn round the corner of a building. “Why did I have to forget the most important part of the day?” you question yourself as you cut through a garden. “Just a little more,” and there you see your building, all three floors of it. By now you were a panting mess but unluckily for you, your shared room was on the topmost floor.

As the consequence of your forgetfulness, you lean heavily on the doorknob trying to catch your breath. You take out your keys from the pocket of your uniform and open the door.

You rummage through your desk for the flash drive containing your finished product, “Where is it?” you look down and see it among your roomies things on the floor, “Gosh that woman”.

You were about to head out when you realized you were drenched in sweat, finding this as a bad thing when you are meeting one of your few customers, you scurry and look for clothing to wear. While dressing up, you couldn’t help but think of how much you put into this animated project; all the editing and hard work. Of course you also thought about the generous patrons who bothered to hire you to take on this task knowing full well that you were a veterinary student on her final years; only having this editing gig on the side. Yet here you were about to disappoint them, chasing after time, “What time is it?” you look at your wristwatch; you had around less than 20 minutes to get to the café to hand off the flash drive.

Clad in sweatpants and simple loose-fitting long sleeves, you head on out towards the café; a walking distance from your university. You had to hurry though or you are going to be late.

Half running and half walking, you really weren’t doing anything to help blend in. You were a contrast to the calm afternoon fall in Sendai and the people slowly strolling by. “Time is ticking,” you keep on repeating to yourself and urge yourself to go faster; doing this really isn’t helping your social anxiety but it had to be done---for the sake of your part-time job born out of boredom. Now with only 10 minutes left, you were sprinting to the shop and you can see the store’s sign in the short distance, “Almost there,” you were now absorbed in the moment.

“Bzzzzzz,” your phone rang shocking you out of your dream state accompanied by a loud ringtone; you could've sworn your phone was in silent mode for the last three years.

You halt to a sudden stop and in the next moment everything moved in slow motion; you were falling. You felt the force from your back leave as the momentum transferred to you; a runner had bumped into you when you suddenly stopped earlier.

Now as your mind catches up to the events, you find yourself flat on the sidewalk; facing the floor wincing. Still dizzy from the event, you take a moment trying to stand up as people pass by you. You dust yourself reeling from embarrassment, you took a breath, and then started to panic. You remembered you had placed the flash drive in your front pocket–so help me divine beings if it got crushed–cold runs through your spine as you check the drive for damages, and by the looks of it, the universe had been kind to you.

“You’re safe,” you had affirmed your flash drive sitting between your fingers.

“Your phone… not so much,” an unexpectedly pleasing voice floats out from behind you.

Eyes widening, you turn around slowly–you hadn’t even noticed your phone was missing from your hand. You come to see a tall young man facing you–he’s probably around your age based on his looks–he wears an uninterested face as he holds your phone out to you, “Are you going to take it?”

You raise a heavy hand to your damaged phone–cracked screen protector and a gashed case, good thing the phone itself was looking fine; the saved memes were fine.

Thankful for the man, you took it in your hands and bow a quick bow.

He was about to leave when he did a double-take looking at you; fixing his glasses as he did. Your small self, even smaller under his gaze, “Why is he still looking?!” you panic, rooted at your spot trying to look anywhere but him–damn social interaction.

A blunt, “Your nose is bleeding”. Your hand flies up to your nose and surely when you lift your fingers, it was coated in blood. “When did this even happen?!” you scold yourself as you try to look for the hanky usually in your pocket... “Oh no…,” your kerchief was in your skirt pocket, you hadn’t had time to take it because of your rush.

You paled; what were you going to wipe the blood with? On impulse, you tilt your head to the sky; out of options.

“Don’t do that. That’ll upset your stomach,” he quipped; still as curt as ever, “Try to look straight normally”.

You did as the blonde guy said, raising your sleeve up to wipe your nose–this was really getting out of hand–you purse your lips preparing to wipe it off, “Wait. Here, use this,” a handkerchief, the second thing he’s handed you in a matter of minutes. “No… I can’t poss–” he interrupts you mid sentence by shoving the hanky in your blood stained hand, “It’s just a hanky,” he says in a nonchalant tone passing you by and walking away.

“Oh no, I didn’t get to thank him,” you thought to yourself as you watch him disappear around a corner; you take note to be more vocal in expressing your thanks to people in the future–oh the guilt.

Oh the time!

You ran to the cafe’s doors pressing the handkerchief against your nose using one hand–it smelled faintly of… strawberries?– the flash drive and broken cell in the other hand. Embarrassed by what happened a few moments ago, you try to put the incident at the back of your head; you’ll deal with that later. You see her upon entering; she was seated with her back to you. You approach your client, a woman just a few years older–at least now it was a woman you’re going to face–you come up from behind her.

“I’m so sorry I’m late, I–I was hurrying here and–”

“Oh my gosh! Are you ok!? ” shock evident on her face, you had forgotten her cheerful personality. You start to loosen up.

“Uh, yeah,” you gave a dry chuckle, “just a little accident.”

“I mean if you are ok then… but please be careful next time.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” you hand her the drive containing your work, “I’m really sorry I was late”

“No, it’s fine, I was chatting up with another person earlier anyway, it’s all good,” she smiles.

Oh Koemi–senpai, if only everyone was as jolly as you.

By dusk, you head back to your campus clutching your broken phone and the bloodied kerchief handed to you by that rather apathetic person–the whites of it almost overrun by the blood.

Finally able to change into more homely clothes, you remove your broken screen protector and change the casing with an extra one you had, after, you do your class work; you do your anatomy assignment and study for your microbiology test the next day. Having finished your to-do list, you scroll through your various social media accounts and check your emails; unexpectedly, there was an email waiting for you from the Sendai City Museum. They wanted to… hire you?

Part 1 II Series masterlist II Part 2

Notes:

This is my first time writing; please have mercy😥

Koemi is an original character

And umm. Constructive criticism is welcome. I need to improve too😅😅

This was only meant as the intro. I would continue this if given the chance 😅

I hope i kind of got tsukki's vibe

And I wish you at least had a bit of fun... hehe thanks for reading!

#haikyuu #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x you #tsukki headcanons #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima x reader #tsukki imagines #fluff #hq x you #hq fluff #hq x y/n #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #Museums #sweet2wthsblog #sweet2wth #sweet2wth museums #sweet2wthsblog museums

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fatesdeepdive · 4 years ago

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Entry 36: Chucking Infants into Pocket Dimensions

Before we go on to Conquest, I’m going to do the Birthright Paralogues. They all fit into a theme, in case you couldn’t tell, one that will cause three-four Supports per update to be centered on a new character.

So, between entries 20 and 21, Corrin and Kaze got married. That unlocked two new Paralogues. Now, for no reason in particular, let’s talk about how Paralogues worked in Fire Emblem Awakening. Halfway through Awakening, you learn that Marth, the mysterious masked swordsman who has been helping you out throughout the game, is actually a future version of Chrom’s daughter Lucina, who traveled back in time to stop her father’s murder. After the time travel sub plot is introduced, you can begin unlocking Paralogues by having the Shepherds marry one another. In each Paralogue, you meet one of Lucina’s companions, also a child of one of the Shepherds. In Awakening, the name and personality of the child was determined by the mother, but the father determined their stats, giving which units you pair up meaning. Now, the time travel children storyline wasn’t perfect, few things in Awakening were, but it at least made sense in the game. Awakening’s story revolved around two things: time travel and the bonds between units. And the child units fit in with that story and those themes, as well as giving important gameplay ramifications to the dating sim elements. Now that I’m done talking about the Fire Emblem game that heavily, heavily inspired the direction of Fates, let’s play the Paralogue that unlocks when Corrin gets married.

Paralogue 2: Dragon Blood

The chapter begins by showing us Kana, a mini version of Corrin with Kaze’s hair color, who talks about how his mother is going to visit today. Kana is attacked by spooky ghost men and Corrin, his mother, runs in to save him.

So, Corrin is a mother now. How, you might ask, considering the fact that she and Kaze got married mid-battle yesterday? Well, it’s simple. As the narration that played when Corrin and Kaze got married stated, Corrin and Kaze chucked their infant son into a pocket dimension immediately after he was born. And, because time flows differently in the pocket dimensions, he’s like twelve now. They also must have left Corrin there for nine months, unless pregnancies happen overnight in this world.

Now, this raises a few questions. Why weren’t these pocket dimensions ever mentioned or used in the story of Birthright? Why didn’t Corrin and Kaze stay with Kana to raise him? Who thought this was a good idea? And, sadly, none of these questions will ever be answered.

Kana transforms into a Feral Dragon and the battle begins. This battle features the gang picking off enemies in a large field. There are Dragon Veins to raise and lower the river levels, which may have made the map interesting, but I didn’t use them. Kana is a green unit during this chapter, but spent it stationary at the top of the map. On turn eight, two capturable bosses, a pair of idiot berserkers named Lloyd and Llewyn showed up; I captured one of them and killed the other.

Corrin gives Kana a dragonstone, Kana whines until Corrin takes him with her, and the chapter ends without me ever being given a reason to care about Kana.

Now, let’s go back to what I said about Awakening. In Awakening, the child characters worked because they were tied into the story. In this game, they’re tacked on in the laziest, most nonsensical way. I get why they exist, Awakening was a success and this game tried to replicate everything it did, but it just doesn’t work. In Awakening, the player has a reason to collect the children, to reassemble Lucina’s lost team. But, without that reason or any story significance, I am left apathetic at best and annoyed at worst towards these units. It especially hurts that this chapter gave me little characterization for Kana beyond “cute child soldier”.

Kana

Kana, Corrin’s child. Their gender is always the opposite of Corrins; because Kana actually has different Supports based on gender, I shall use the names Mana and Fana instead. Design wise, they where Corrin’s outfit, but with a blue scarf that looks like a collar. Both forms of Kana have terrible haircuts for different reasons. Kana’s personal skill, Draconic Heir, heals them if they have a dragonstone equipped; this makes Kana more dragonstone based than Corrin, who has an overpowered sword. My main problem with Kana is their personality, or lack there of. Kana is characterized as...cute. Cute and needy. Which is both boring, and again, kinda messed up. Worse, like Corrin, the game seemingly forgets their animalistic dragon form after this chapter, which is a waste.

Now, let’s talk about how child Supports work. All children have one Support with their father (or mother in Shigure and Mana’s case) and one with their mother. Because their mother is not set, the mother conversation is vague and rewritten with slight variations. I am not going to read the same Support ten times for each child, and will instead just read the Corrin version.

Support Fana/Corrin

C: Corrin finds Kana carrying boxes so she can earn money. Corrin asks what Kana needs money for and Kanna refuses to tell.

B: Kana buys Corrin a ring as a gift.

A: Corrin gives Kana a ring as a gift.

Review: I already didn’t like Kana and damn did this Support not help things.

Support: Kana/Mother

Odd thing I need to note about this one; Fana has a unique Support with Corrin but Mana just has the generic mother Support. It’s weird. I assume during planning the writers were told to have each child have one Support with Corrin, one with their mother, and one with their father, resulting in a Corrin Support that could only be used for one Kana. Still, it’s odd.

C: Kana picks their mother flowers. Their mother likes them, but explains to Kana that picking flowers kills them. Something Kana did realize, because child soldier.

B: Kana shows their mother pretty flowers.

A: The mother shows Kana the collection of flowers they've picked over time.

Review: The problem with Kana is that Kana is just cute. No other personality traits beyond “child”. This Support is fine, but it’s also dull and doesn’t make Kana a deeper character. Also, Corrin being a parent is weird because Corrin’s whole personality centers on them being naive, but Corrin as a parent acts calm and responsible.

Support: Mana/Father

C: Mana complains about Corrin always treating him like a child, when he wants to help her out more. His father tells him the thing he does to make Corrin happy. Kana suggests they have a contest on who can do the most things for Corrin.

B: Mana ties with his father in the contest.

A: Corrin tells Mana to stop doing chores and play with his friends who I haven't recruited yet. His father explains that Corrin just wants him to enjoy his childhood while he can. Mana insists his father relax to.

Review: I switched between Silas, Kaze, and Jakob while reading this one and had no problem following it, which goes to show that parents have all the personality of tofu in these ones. That said, Corrin wanting Mana to have a happy childhood is nice. Perhaps an attempt by her to ensure he doesn’t have a lonely upbringing like she did.

Mana and Shigure, Azura’s son, can also have a sibling Support. Not with each other, I mean, with other children.

Support: Kana/Sibling

C: Mana and his sibling start patrolling the camp.

B: Mana and his sibling continue patrolling the camp.

A: Mana asks his sibling to teach him to be stronger.

Review: I fell asleep while reading this one, causing this update to be a day late.

Now that I think about it, Man isn’t twins with his sibling. Mana is explicitly called younger in the B-Rank. Which means Corrin was pregnant for like two years between battles. Azura too, for Shigure to have siblings. Also, why were the kids placed in different Outrealms? Wouldn’t it make more sense to keep all of them, or at the very least the royal siblings and cousins, together?

Wait a minute. Did I just get through an entire update without a bad S-Rank Support? Is this what happiness feels like?

#fire emblem #kana fire emblem #kana fe #fire emblem fates #fe 14 #corrin fe

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lighttheabyss · 6 years ago

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Khaida Ahmahno [Crystal] LFRP

The Basics ––– –

Age: mid 20′s (26-29ish depending on Time Bubble shenanigans)

Birthday: 23rd Sun of the 2nd Umbral Moon

Race: Keeper of the Moon Miqo’te

Gender: Female

Marital Status: Unmarried

Server: Goblin (Crystal DC) [I do have an alt on Balmung]

Physical Appearance ––– –

Hair: White, long, often up in varying styles

Eyes: PALE blue, nearly white

Height: 5’

Build: Curvy; has noticeable hips and bust, and is one of those who wears her softness on her belly, hips, arms, and legs well.

Distinguishing Marks: Has a stylized tattoo of a Blue Morpho on her lower back, right above her tail and butt.

Common Accessories: Khaida is always dressed for ease of movement. Her adventuring clothes are a little less flashy, but still have a good deal of jewelry and accessories. Her performing clothes are revealing, flashy, and she wears a great deal of jewelry and accessories that add another level of sight and sound to her dances.

Personal ––– –

Profession: Dancer, adventurer, scholar of all things magical

Hobbies: Singing, goldsmithing, weaving, cooking

Languages: Eorzean, some Garlean, some Hingan and Doman. Can read Nymian, Allagan, Amdapori, and Mhachi fluently...but her spoken skills in them are lacking.

Residence: Has a home in the Cohrce village in the East Shroud and in the Rising Stones in Mor Dhona, but usually ends up crashing in inns or in her cousin’s Goblet apartment.

Birthplace: Urth’s Gift area of the South Shroud, but grew up in the East Shroud.

Religion: Devout follower of Menphina, but more spiritual than religious about it.

Patron Deity: Menphina, the Lover

Fears: Being truly alone, losing loved ones, dragonflies

Personality: Sweet, flirtatious, cheerful, affectionate. Tends to look after younger performers and adventurers, and has a serious soft spot for children. Can and will get lost in magical theory the moment you bring it up or she finds a book/scroll/tome on it.

Relationships ––– -

Spouse: None [in an open relationship with Telemakhos Spahr’da]

Children: None

Parents: Kahzu Ahmahno (mother, Deceased), Kenj’a Cohrce (father, alive, owner of the Swan’s Sundries merchant caravan)

Siblings: Kahzu’a Ahmahno (younger brother, status TBD)

Other Relatives: Kenj’to Cohrce (paternal uncle, alive), Izhu Cohrce (paternal aunt, alive), Melisahnd Cohrce (cousin, alive), Brodi’a Ahmahno (DISTANT cousin, status TBD)

Pets: A recently acquired coeurl kitten she’s named ‘Citrine’.

Traits ––– -

* Bold your character’s answer.

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Additional information ––– –

Smoking Habit: No. Drugs: No. Alcohol: Is a fan of good alcohol, no matter the kind.

Possible Hooks ––– –

The Dancer: Khaida tends to perform in between adventures to keep herself in coin, and is good at it. She’s danced in all three of the main city-states, the Toll, and Idyllshire at this point, so it’s likely you’ve seen her at some point! Or perhaps you’re in need of a dancer for a party or show?

The Adventurer & Scholar: Khaida is, first and foremost, a scholar of magic and an adventurer at heart. She’s well known in the Guild for taking on jobs that let her delve into the depths of ancient ruins or putting up ads for fellow adventurers to join her in delving into places too dangerous for her to go alone. Have a job for her? Or want to join her on a job?

Former Crystal Brave, Current Scion of the Seventh Dawn: Khaida joined the Braves, wanting to make a difference and live up to the inspiring example of the Warriors of Light. She was heartbroken when the organization turned corrupt. She was one of those who defected early on after the fateful Banquet, and when Alphinaud returned to the Stones to disband the group officially, Khaida was one of those who volunteered to help rebuild the Scions. Since then, she’s been as much a Scion as an adventurer, and always happy to help when called upon.

Aetheric Oddities: Khaida’s aether is...a little odd. There’s always going to be the tang of the void lurking beneath the rest of her saturated aether, voidtaint from a Mhachi ancestress who dove too far into the void. Not that she knows this. Yet. She’s also more sensitive to aether than your average Spoken, and uses it as another sense, along with the others. Please note that it’s not a perfect sense, and she can miss things; so if you don’t want some aetheric oddity of your own character being sensed, that’s perfectly fine!

Other: Any combo of the above, or perhaps you’re a former fling? [She’s hopped around beds...fairly often.] Maybe you’re just looking for a fellow magic nerd? I’m up for plotting all sorts of things, and pre-established things, too! [Khaida is VERY poly, though, so no Exclusive Ships.]

What I’m Looking For ––– –

Contacts and Friends!: I’m still very new to in-game RP, and this verse for Khaida is, itself, very new. I would love to meet new people, make new friends!

Shipping: I love ships. I will not lie about that fact. Just be aware that Telemakhos is always going to be a part of her life. I love romance, trysts, one-sided crushes; I love it all. Give me that sweet shippy goodness.

Friendships: Khaida needs more friends, please! I want her to develop more bonds, meet more people.

Adventuring Shenanigans: Khaida is an adventurer and scholar, and she certainly would love other adventurers to join her in her shenanigans!

Slice of Life/Random Interactions: I love random stuff. I love meetings that may not be more than one-offs, but still happen. I just really like the little calms between the storms and action.

OOC and Roleplaying Preferences ––– –

I work fulltime and help my spouse with things [as they’re visually impaired], so my game time can be limited. But I try to be on when I can! If we need to schedule something, let me know! I’ll see what we can do!

I’m in the US Mountain Timezone, so I’m in this very odd space compared to a lot of folks. But I’m always happy to see how I can accommodate!

I’m on Discord a lot, except when at work, so it’s often the easiest way to get a hold of me off-Tumblr or out of game!

I’m still very new to in-game RP, so please bear with me. I’m happy to get more experience with it, however!

I love talking to my RP partners OOCly as much as ICly. I love plotting and seeing how things go within those plots. And sometimes just talking about other things or throwing things not related to RP or XIV at each other.

My home world is Goblin, so I can’t join anything but Crossworld Linkshells.

Regarding M/ERP: I am happy to write it, but the other mun(s)/muse(s) have to be 18+. And much as I love it, it is not the be-all and end-all for Khaida. I love development and plot and slice of life as much as I love smut.

Contact Information ––– –

Discord - Please ask.

In Game - Khaida Ahmahno

Tumblr - @lighttheabyss

Items in this post subject to change if/when the need arises (regarding roleplay).

#Outoftheabyss #v; vamo alla flamenco #lfrp #crystal lfrp

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shurisneakers · 6 years ago

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espresso [8]

Summary: In which your best friend’s brother begins to set you up on dates when you mention that you haven’t been in a relationship in years, but things don’t go as expected.

Warning: swearing, angst (????), pining lol

A/N: surprise bitches i’m back but will disappear soon again for months at a time this is my entry for the exuberant @viktordrago‘s writing challenge (it took me like 20 minutes to find you kumi i2g) thank you to the best beta @samingtonwilson love u and our cinema boi the fact that i had to fuckin gif this myself shows how desperate i am

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous part- Part 7 || Espresso Masterlist

Everyone has probably met that one person who is very different from the rest. Someone so profoundly boring, you had no idea you’d rather watch a tap faucet drip for eight hours straight than to ever be within a feet of them breathing.

That would be Vision.

Vision talked like he had a thesaurus up his ass, smelled like mothballs, and had ideals much too similar to a less-funny, almost less-human Dwight Schrute.

“Hey birthday boy,” you excitedly hushed into the phone at midnight.

“Hey there,” he replied softly so you could nearly feel him smile through the phone.

“How does one more lap around the sun feel?”

“More or less the same. Hold on.” He paused for a second. “Yup, I feel normal.”

“You’re a bore, Bucky Barnes. You’re supposed to be excited or something,” you could hear Nat and Clint giggling about something in the room adjacent to the kitchen where you’d snuck to call Bucky.

“It’s just another day, my dude.”

“It’s your birthday!” you protested, filling up a glass of water and bringing it to your lips.

“Meh.”

“What do you have planned?”

“First off, bold of you to assume I thought I’d live this long to actually plan something,” he snorted and you could hear papers shift under him.

“How edgy.”

“Secondly, I’m sleeping till noon and I’m seeing you today,” He cleared his throat. “You all, I mean. The group.”

“Sounds ideal.” You took a large gulp of water before leaning on the counter.

“What about you?”

“Currently; an all nighter with Nat and Clint to complete assignments.” your eyes flitted to the doorway which you realized had gone quiet. You narrowed your eyes. “Other than that, I got nothing else to do other than your birthday thing.”

“Oh yeah, funny story by the way,” he laughed nervously. “I forgot to remind you that your next date is today.”

“Bucky I still don’t get it,” you straightened up immediately. “Today’s your birthday, why would you set me up today?”

“You’re busy through next week and then you have midterms after that,” he defended himself weekly. “And besides, relax. He said it’s an afternoon thing. He’ll drop you off before it starts.”

“Who is it?” you sighed, rubbing your temples.

“Jarvis; also known as Vision.”

You were silent for a moment as his name registered in your mind. “Why have you forsaken me this way?”

“Just give the guy a chance,” he chuckled, before yawning. “And remember, be at my place by five.”

He checked his rearview mirror again before turning his head back to the road.

You didn’t know if he was doing this on purpose, but he was driving at the slowest imaginable speed and you thought you’d reach the café faster if you just got out and walked.

He also happened to speak as slowly as he drove. “Can’t take my eyes off the road, you know. Road safety is a number one priority.”

“The world simply would not turn without capable drivers like you,” you murmured, sinking back into the seat that smelt vaguely of hospital-grade disinfectant.

The chances of you dying in an accident with him as a driver was much smaller than you dying of old age in his car.

He didn’t speak, a look of concentration as he made a turn at the curb, eyebrows furrowing in concentration.

“I thought Vision and Wanda were a thing,” Nat remarked, peering over your shoulder and into your phone when Bucky texted you. Regardless of the content of said text, you smiled anyway when you saw it was from him leading her to completely invade your privacy.

It was just a stupid meme anyway- something that he thought would be an apt goodnight message.

“Wanda doesn’t even remember him.“

“Ouch,” Clint winced from beside you. “That’s gotta hurt the dude in the feelings.”

“Assuming he has more of an emotional quotient than a potted plant,” you muttered grabbing your pencil from under Clint’s hand.

The three of you had assignments due next week, which you decided to do together over many cups of coffee and energy drinks.

“I’m gonna fail this stupid fuckin’ thing. We had to do a meta-analysis of this stupid novel and all I’ve done is watch the fucking movie,” Nat groaned, burying her head in the sheets right by your leg. “I can’t believe I paid a school thousands of dollars, which I don’t have, just to write a meta-analysis, which I haven’t done.”

“Get up, c’mon. You can do this,” you said, nudging her with your foot. She swatted it away, choosing to lie there.

“Nat, I’m too broke to make it rain at the strip club you’ll work at if you drop out. Come on. Let’s get this grade.” Clint rolled his eyes, prodding at her with his pencil.

“You’re so mean, Clit. I’d never invite you to my place of strip anyway.” She raised her head to pout at him but rolled over nonetheless to sit up straight.

“Strip club. And I told you to stop calling me Clit.”

“Whatever.”

As you pulled into the coffee shop eight hours later, you reached over to open the car door only to have him damn near hiss at you.

You reeled back in surprise, watching him shake his head vehemently and unbuckling his seatbelt.

“It’s dangerous out there, especially with those zero-traction shoes. Over 17,000 people die annually because of slipping and falling. Twenty percent to thirty percent of people who slip and fall will suffer injuries like hip fractures, or head injuries.”

”Zero to a hundred real quick, my friend,” you stated, nevertheless not moving. “I know it may not seem like much to you, but I do know how to walk. Been getting enough practice all my life.”

“This is a matter of life and death, Y/N. What if you slip on the sidewalk and crack your skull open? I’d be the one who would have to account to the officers about the lack of awareness when it comes to winter treading and it wasn’t fun the last time it happened,” he said, all in one breath, his head moving side to side furiously.

You stared at him, unable to form any words. Absolutely nothing.

He got out of the car, one foot at a time before slowly standing up and assessing his surroundings. Finally, he took one step forward before pausing and doing it again until he finally reached the other side of the car to open your door.

Wonderful.

“Be careful, don’t jump out too fast,” he commented, holding his hand out to you.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“It was made very clear to ensure your safety at all times. James was very, very–“ he looked like he struggled to find the words “—fastidious about it.”

“Oh?”

“Say, Y/N, why exactly is Barnes setting you up with such… specimens?”

“He asked if I needed help in finding someone ‘dateable’. I agreed.”

“Your reasoning being?”

“Why not?”

“Excellent logic.”

“I was bored, Clint. He looked like he genuinely wanted to help.”

“Why didn’t he just set you up with himself?” Clint twirled his highlighter around his fingers. “He missed a great opportunity to pull the greatest plot twist of the century.”

“I really don’t think-“

“It’s probably not the best plot twist. He’s making it pretty obvious with the whole intense staring and heart eyes and writing on your cup thing.”

“Okay, first of all, there is no heart eyes or intense staring or- wait, what writing on my cup thing?” you caught yourself mid-sentence.

“Clint!” Nat hissed, glaring at him.

Clint looked between Nat and you for a few seconds before letting out the most apathetic and monotone, “Oops.”

“You just ruined it, you shit-eating fuck hammer. Bucky’s going to kill us both and then himself when he finds out.”

The place Vis took you was actually decent. It was the nicer of the two coffee shops in town, the other one being where Bucky worked. Still, something was missing and soon you felt yourself missing the chipped tables and fake plants of the other joint. You liked it much more than the pristine white walls and cold plush chairs here.

“Can we get a table for two? Preferably away from the noise-“

You glanced around to pinpoint what noise exactly he was talking about but came up blank.

There were two people in the shop.

“-And away from the sunlight?”

It was cloudy outside.

“Also, could you reduce the heat, please? It’s rather suffocating.”

It was winter.

“Do y’all have tables in the restroom?” you asked blankly.

He blinked at you, expressionless, “The restroom is a goldmine for germs and particles of fecal matter. Surely you know that, Y/N.”

“I just- it was a-“ you sighed. “Okay.”

The waitress however was a sweetheart, and you made a mental note to leave her a good tip before you left. She led you to a quiet corner, meeting all of Vis’ demands before leaving you alone with the menu.

“I think I’ll just go with an Americano.” Lord knows you needed it after last night.

Vision let out a tsk of disinterest, eyes scanning over the card tediously.

“Coffee can damage your liver, increase your risk of osteoporosis, and increased blood pressure. Especially the concentrated form in espresso shots.”

“Oh bother, well, I’ll just have to take that chance.“

“I prefer tea; rich in oxidizing properties. It’s also a wonderful material for composting,” he continued, ignoring your statement. He snapped the card shut, smiling knowingly at you.

The both of you gave your orders before returning back to the non-existent conversation at hand. Vision chose to keep his hands on the table in front of him. It felt like he was about to give you The Talk. He looked straight into your eyes, never faltering or looking away.

“So,” you dragged out the word, pressing your lips together when he didn’t respond or shift his stare. “What’s u-“

“Do you compost?” he asked suddenly, not breaking eye contact.

“Compost?”

“Yes.”

“I would, but I can’t-post.” You grinned at him, expecting a laugh or at least a groan.

“I compost,” he said stoically.

“That’s great, Vis. What else do you-“ you tried to veer the conversation in some other direction because you had a very good idea of where this was heading.

“I have my own compost. Have you tried making one of your own?” he asked simply. “It’s very simple.”

“I gotta say, buddy, I’m not wildly passionate about it right now.”

“Do you want me to tell you how to make one?”

You blinked at him. “I’m fine, thanks.”

“Okay, I’ll tell you.”

You screamed internally, smiling at him nonetheless.

It was 4:40. You’d be out of there soon enough.

“Why would you tell her that?!”

“What the hell are you both talking about?” you demanded, shoving your things aside and sitting up straight.

“How would I know she didn’t know?” he ignored you, instead answering to Nat, who was beginning to look somewhat like an angry parrot.

“Jesus Christ, will someone just tell me what don’t I know before I start throwing hands?”

“The shit James writes on your to-go cup every time you show up at his workplace.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” you nearly shouted to match their volume.

“Don’t tell me you’ve never seen them! They’re so glaringly obvious, he might as well be sticking neon signs declaring his love on them.”

“I have never seen any of what you’re talking about except the ‘Mario’ he writes.”

“That’s only one side. Haven’t you seen the other?”

“No! Why would I?”

“He writes really cute messages on them,” Nat said quietly. “Some of them are normal stuff, like “I hope you have a really beautiful day” the others are like small bits of poetry that I think he writes.”

You stayed quiet, trying to absorb this information as much as possible.

“It was pretty clear that he didn’t want any of us-“ she glared at Clint who finally looked a bit guilty –“to tell you.”

“I genuinely thought you knew. He’s been doing it for months now.”

“I didn’t,” you muttered, sinking back. “That explains the weird thing he does whenever I throw away one of the cups.

“You what?!” Nat screeched, leaping to her knees. “Why would you throw them away?!”

“Hey, I didn’t know!” you defended yourself, throwing your hands up in surrender. “I literally found out about them thirty seconds ago.”

“Can you imagine how shitty he feels?”

��Now’s a good time to stop.”

“Just watching the girl you love throw away things you’ve made an effort to make?”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“And that would be intimidating if you were… well, intimidating.”

“So once you finish one layer, you move onto the next and so on and so forth.” Vision stirred his cup for what seemed like the twentieth time and at that point, it was much more interesting than the shit coming out of his mouth.

He had been speaking for composting for what felt like a good hour, not allowing you to get a word in sideways about any topic that would be infinitely more interesting than this.

“Y/N, did you hear what I said?”

“What?” you jerked your head when you heard your name. “Oh, yeah.”

“Did you like a part in particular?”

Fuck.

“Loved the part about the… layers.”

“Layers are really the key to this whole thing, if you don’t have enough-“

“You know what has layers?” you said quickly, sitting up straight. “Onions. Ogres are like onions. What is your favorite movie?” if you had to hear him speak about soil and manure one more time, you were going to drown yourself in your tears right then and there.

You could feel your phone vibrate in your pocket, but you didn’t bother answering it before putting it on silent, feeling like you at least owed him basic etiquette.

“I’m not done,” he said blankly, “Now, as I was saying, layers really bring out the-“

You bring your hand down on the table a little too harshly but quickly cover it up with a smile. His voice faltered slightly before pausing when you looked at him expectantly.

“I don’t have a favorite movie. I think they’re all too dependent on suspension of disbelief. There is no true realism. None of them truly cater to what I want.”

“You’re a film major.” “So I can make films that capture the true essence of-“ he inhaled deeply before gesturing with his hands “—everything.”

The same waitress from before asked you if you wanted a refill, to which you agreed, Vision doing the same. You fiddled around with your cup in silence for a while, not knowing how to continue.

“Do you want to hear my idea for a script?”

“Sure.”

“It starts with a twenty minute shot of the ocean. Just lets you get into the tone of the movie. Then the next shot is of a horse stable. Then the next is of a wilted meadow. Then an opening door. Then an unruly bed. Then-“

“That sounds great, but what’s it about, Vis?” you emphasized, hoping to speed things up.

“I’m getting there, but please remember this desire for narrative has been fed to you. Without narrative, we truly push away from the comfort films provide and embrace a reflection of the world around us,” he insisted. “The next shot is a branch. Then a towel. Then-“

You nearly banged your head on the table.

“A church. A running tap, just to introduce motion, you know, to get things moving-“

“You need to make a move. Tell him you know about the cups.”

“Absolutely fucking not.”

It was 4am and all of you had collective taken a break from whatever it is that you were doing around thirty minutes ago and were now just laying there, waiting for the caffeine rush to wear off.

“Why not?”

“Why do you care so much, Clint?” you asked, slightly irritated.

He moved his hands to rest on his abdomen. “I don’t. It’s just agonizing to watch.”

“Don’t watch then.”

“Fine I’ll date him then. I’ll get him to write me love letters too.”

“Go for it,” you snorted, shaking your head.

“Maybe I will. I’ll ask him out today, just watch me.”

“Don’t let him break your heart, babe,” Nat encouraged him.

“He’d have to reject me to do that.”

“Why on earth would he ever do that?” she poked at his cheek, watching him grumble and shove her away.

“I think he and Dot are a thing,” you said suddenly, facing the ceiling.

“I don’t think so. He doesn’t look too invested.”

“They hang out a lot now, did you know?” you continued, ignoring Clint.

“You should ask him. Set the record straight.”

“I think I’ll keep all my feelings to myself and then die, thanks.”

“Just tell him, man. It’ll make your life much simpler,” he rolled onto his stomach to look at you. “Sweetheart, I love you, but all this pining isn’t helping either of you. Tell him, and if he likes you back, great. If he doesn’t, well, at least you’ll know, right?”

“That’s easy to say, but try doing it yourself.”

“Oh I did. The first one rejected me straight out, and it fucking sucked balls, but I could move on. Sometimes it’s better to take that chance.”

You were silent. You couldn’t believe you were actually considering what he’d said.

“Alright fine, here’s the deal. If I can gather the guts to ask out Bucky, you’ll have to do it too.” Clint held out his hand for a handshake and you narrowed your eyes at him.

“Fuck outta here. You’d do it without any regrets.”

“True, but you look like you need a push and I’m offering you one.”

“I appreciate it Clint, but it’s never going to happen. I’d rather choke.”

“I’m not gonna force you, but just think about it. It’s all about a leap of faith.”

The three of you remained in silence before Nat broke it, giggling to herself.

“Are you going to ask him out though?”

“Hell, maybe I will. Five o’clock, right?” Clint looked at his watch.

“Yeah.”

“I’m gonna do it, watch me.”

Five.

Fuck.

You suddenly broke out of your train of thought and scrambled for your phone, interrupting Vision’s marvelous idea for an Oscar winning script.

Your heart stopped beating altogether.

It was nearly 6:30 and there were nearly twenty unread messages and around ten missed calls illuminating your notification bar.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you cursed steadily before standing up, your chair scraping against the floor behind you.

“Is something wrong?” Vision asked delicately, still clearly immersed in his thoughts.

“We need to leave now.” You pulled out enough cash to pay for your share, tugging your jacket back on hurriedly. “Now.”

“Why?”

“I’m late. I’m really, really late and we need to go now.” You had no idea that much time had gone by, scolding yourself for not keeping track of how long you were there.

“Alright, but are you-“

“Now, Vision.” You glared daggers at him until he relented, paying his amount and walking to the entrance at his own pace while you were nearly running.

From Becca:

Where are you???

From Becca:

We’re waiting for you to cut his cake

From Steve:

Hey, are you on your way?

From Becca:

McFucking Dot is here why tf is she here who invited her and why is she so touchy with bucky

From Nat:

I swear to god if you’re off making out w/ that boy instead of being here

From Wanda:

hey, we just cut the cake without you, hope you don’t mind. Where are you??

From Becca:

Someone “”””””accidentally””””” spilled their drink on dotzilla she’s all wet now

From Becca:

I can say with 80% accuracy that it wasn’t me

From Nat:

Becca just spilt her drink on Dot what the hell

From Clint:

Dot just left the room to go change because this dumbass turd just poured beer over her. now’s my chance

From Becca:

Yo where tf are you

From Nat:

We’re just sitting around, watching a movie. Are you showing up?? Why aren’t you answering our calls? Is everything okay?

From Becca:

Clint just asked out Bucky wtf sdjhgdkjfhgkdjfhg

From Clint:

I asked him out. he rejected me. I think I’m gonna keep trying

From Nat:

Clit’s bribing Bucky into saying yes

From Clint:

He said no im leaving this bullshit party

From Becca:

I just told Bucky you’ll be running late are you even showing up where are you

From Bucky:

Date going well? Hope you’re safe. Saving you a piece of cake 🍰

“Can you drive a little faster, please?” you urged him, furiously responding to everyone’s texts as quickly as you could.

“I’m already going as fast as I can,” he replied, driving at almost half the speed limit.

“Sweet Jesus,” you breathed out, running your hands through your hair. “Alright Vis, detour. Drop me off at this address.”

You didn’t wait to catch your breath as you ran up three flights of stairs to his dorm room, hands repeatedly slapping against the door.

A minute later it swung open, revealing a slightly panicked Bucky.

“What the-“

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so, so fucking sorry. I lost track of time and I didn’t even realize, it was entirely-“

“Woah, hey- hey it’s okay. It’s okay. ” He opened the door wider, a mix of confusion and concern on his face. “Take a second to catch your breath.”

As you did, you noticed he was wearing a black t-shirt that had no business looking that good, grey sweatpants, and his hair was pulled into a half bun, having grown longer due to months of not trimming it. He looked beautiful.

You took a moment off of staring at his stupidly attractive face, and beyond his shoulder into his dorm. You could see the empty beer cans littering his living room, the clear signs of a party.

“Everyone left?” you asked quietly.

“Yeah, just a few minutes ago.”

“Shit, Bucky-“ You sighed, frustration evident in your voice, feeling your heart sink. “I never meant to miss this, I promise.”

“I know you didn’t, don’t worry. I see you almost everyday, Y/N, it’s definitely okay to miss one evening.” He laughed lightly, shifting his weight to his other shoulder.

“It’s your birthday.”

“Like I said, it’s just another day.” He shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s nothing too big.”

Stop staring at his fucking chest.

“I bought you something,” you blurted out, tightening your grip on your bag. “A birthday present, I mean. I bought you a gift. For your birthday.”

Stop mumbling, you big oaf.

“Y/N,” he complained, “We talked about this. You didn’t have to-“

“It’s a journal,” you interrupted him, scrambling through the contents of your backpack to find it. “Each page has a question. 365 days, 365 questions. I mean, theoretically, it doesn’t work for leap years but, you know, this coming year isn’t one and I-”

You finally grabbed hold of the brown, leather bound book, pulling it out with ease and holding it out to him. He looked back at you without a word.

“And I know how much you like writing, I just thought it’d be nice to look back on how much you change or how much your thoughts change over the year.” You pushed it forward gently, urging him to take it. He held onto it silently, running his fingers along the pages before flipping open to the first page.

You keep records of their troubles. You’ll learn from them. If you want to Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from. It’s a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn’t education, it’s history.

You watched him read it, his eyes widening slightly once he realized where the excerpt was from.

“That’s- that’s from-”

“The Catcher in the Rye. Yeah.” You shifted uncomfortably when he fell silent again, staring at you without a word.

Great.

“I know it’s stupid and nowhere near anything you’ve gotten me and I can get you something else-”

“I love it.” The look in his eyes made you want to melt. “So fucking much.”

“Really?” You couldn’t hide the surprise from your voice.

“It’s probably one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever given me.”

“There are some really stupid questions in there, like about memes and stuff because I thought you’d like it, but the rest are relatively normal.”

“It’s absolutely perfect.” He blew a few strands out of his face, letting his hands fall to his side. He opened his mouth to say something else but instead he shut it again.

It was probably the silence that ensues that made your fight or flight instincts take over because the next thing you realized is that you had both your arms wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him into a hug, earning a small ‘woah’ from him.

It took him about a second but he slowly wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you in closer, if that was even possible, dropping his forehead into crook of your shoulder. He smelt of fresh laundry and cinnamon and you couldn’t help the breath that escaped your lips. You could feel his breath tingling your neck and the warmth he exuded seeping in through your sweater. It reminded you of home.

You unwillingly pulled back, stuffing your hands back into your pockets awkwardly. “Happy birthday, James.”

“Thanks,” he said softly, biting his lip. “I, uh, saved you a piece of cake.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Finally he shook himself out of whatever he was thinking, moving and holding open the door invitingly. “Do you- uh- do you want some?”

Just tell him you like him, for the love of God.

“James I-“

“Bucky? Do you know where the tissues- oh hey Y/N!” There was no mistaking who walked out from Bucky’s bathroom. Bucky whipped his head around, confused, before who it was registered in his mind and he turned to look at you again.

“Hey Dot.”

“We missed you today,” she chirped, approaching the doorway, placing a hand on Bucky’s shoulder.

“Yeah, me too.” Something was amiss about her before you finally caught on.

She was wearing his shirt.

Oh.

“Um, I better get going.” You swallowed. It felt like you were missing something crucial. Why would she be wearing his shirt at his place?

“Wait, I thought-“ he furrowed his eyebrows, straightening up.

“It’s getting pretty late, I gotta go.” You half-smiled, pointing behind you to the setting sun. “Maybe some other time.”

“At least let me drop you back. Let me just grab my keys-“ he turned around, ready to walk back into his apartment.

“It’s okay,” you interrupted him, taking a step back. “I could use the fresh air.”

“It’ll be dark out soon.”

“I’ll be fine,” you assured him, continuing to walk backward before waving at him. “I’ll catch you later, Buck. Bye Dot.”

“Y/N-“ he tried again but you just waved again before spinning on your heel and walking off, waiting till you were out of eyesight before fumbling for your phone and calling Nat to come pick you up from his dorm because sure, you may be feeling like shit, but that didn’t mean you were going to walk home in the middle of winter, alone.

Leap of faith, my ass, you thought.

Leap off a fucking cliff was more like it.

Part 9

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #mcu fic #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #college!bucky #college!au #college!bucky x reader #kumis5kchallenge

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growl-bear · 6 years ago

Text

Astria Fyth

THE BASICS ––– –

Name: Astria Fyth

Age: Appears to be in her early 20s

Birthday: 16th Sun of the 3rd Astral Moon.

Race: Rava, Viera.

Gender: Female.

Sexuality: Bisexual.

Marital Status: Single.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE ––– –

Hair: Deep green that fades into light shades of aquamarine. She keeps it cut short save for a single long braid on the right side of her face.

Eyes: Rubine Red

Height: 5 fulms, 11 ilms (7 fulms, including her ears).

Build: Slender and soft, while she is far from unfit - it’s clear that she takes luxury where she can get it.

Distinguishing Marks: Freckles. Lots and lots of freckles. Large tufted ears that round out at the top. Aside from a single, large burn scar that spans her left shoulder and down to her mid back, her body is free of marring.

Common Appearance: While her line of work tends to make dressing nice difficult, Astria does her best to bridge the gap between fashion and function. She regularly wears white or pastel colors. Her clothing is often padded for protection, fit to take a blow should one come her way. She isn’t the most graceful creature, so she avoids anything that flows too long or might get her tangled up. Heels, in her eyes, are a monstrosity made simply to mock her. Though she prefers to stay clean, she isn’t above getting dirty (with lots of complaining). Around her neck she wears a sapphire pendant and can often be seen holding it and rubbing the large gem with her thumb. Occasionally one might see a rather plump bird perched on her shoulder.

PERSONAL ––– –

Profession: Healer

Hobbies Gambling, drawing/painting, gardening

Languages: Common, Vieran

Residence: Where her sister stays, unless she is busy herself, or is kicked out because she’s being obnoxious

Birthplace: A small Vieran community deep within Golmore Jungle’s Greenswathe territory.

Religion: While she doesn’t deny the existence of the gods, none of them fall within her scope of beliefs. She tends to obey her conscience more than anything.

Patron God: Nature is the closest thing to a deity that she would worship.

Fears: Fire, being alone, losing her sister, and snakes

RELATIONSHIPS ––– -

Spouse: None

Children: None

Parents: Mistria Fyth (mother)

Siblings: Lilyna Fyth (played by @scowlet)

Other Relatives: None

Pets: A bird named Skye, clearly spoiled,

TRAITS ––– -

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ––– –

Smoking Habit: Never.

Drugs: Never.

Alcohol: Never

RP HOOKS ––– –

The Lost One: One of the few surviving kin of a fallen viera Elder whose community was claimed by ravaging flames, Lilyna fled the wood with her younger sister in tow to find her own path when the one before her became obscured by death and smoke. She found her fortune in the city of Dalmasca, selling her sword and skills to the highest bidder with Astria at her side to mend her aching wounds. Though it has been some years since they left Golmore Jungle behind, viera who have newly emerged from the wood might find some comfort in knowing that they were not the only ones who chose to leave. (Stolen from @scowlet)

Healer - Adjusting to life outside of Golmore has not been easy on Astria, much of her time was spent with her nose tucked into books, reading and trying to find an escape from the tragedy of their past. After watching her sister take charge for their survival, guilt began to set in and pushed her into pursuing a path of healing and medicine. She is, by no means, an expert in the field, but the magic of Conjurers comes easy for the freckled young woman. She may have accompanied you on an adventure, hunt, or some other dangerous task as a healer-for-hire.

Absent-minded - While she will almost always prefer to stay in the company of her older sister, it is possible to have caught her wandering through gardens, taking routes she isn’t meant to take, and even occasionally finding herself in trouble. Sometimes she just doesn’t think about the direction her feet carry her, and will find herself lost and alone. It’s possible that you were the one who stumbled across her, and found yourself clung to by a watery eyed Viera.

Gambling - Many and more occasions, Lilyna has had to flex her muscle to pull her little sister out of a mess of trouble. She has a good poker face, can feign ignorance like it’s second nature, and has a very keen eye to read people with. She finds satisfaction in gambling, using it as a way to pad the pockets of her little family. Finding her at a table in a tavern with a stack of gil is something that many have done. There’s also a chance that you caught her hustling and now she owes you money.

Clumsy - She’s a klutz when it comes to much in her life. If you’re at a table, she might knock a drink off on you. It’s likely she bumped into you while talking to her sister, gesturing wildly with her hands. It’s obvious that she never intends to do these things, but they - nevertheless - happen all too frequently.

CONTACT INFORMATION and OOC NOTES ––– –

Hey there! This is my new girl, I haven’t roleplayed with her yet, but I’m looking forward to getting to know her and make some friends, allies, or enemies. Just be respectful and we will get along just fine!

Please be 18+.

I’m not looking for ERP. I’m just not interested and while I am not opposed to mature themes bleeding into a scene, or even something being sexually charged - I will very likely request that anything that goes into too much detail fade to be considered by our imaginations. Please respect this.

My job is fairly lenient and I can often manage to carry roleplay throughout the day, however, I do ask that you be patient because it can get busy and without warning I can (Not that I mean to) vanish for a good portion of the day.

Astria and Lilyna share a story. Stealing this from @scowlet too. They are siblings and they are very, very close. Astria is lost without Lilyna and if push comes to shove, her sister takes priority. If you’re going to RP with me, there’s a 99.9% chance that you’ll come in contact with Lilyna, who is played by @scowlet.

You can contact me Xau’zi#1189 if you agree to all of this and want to discuss something. Tumblr is an acceptable means of contact as well.

#FFXIV #RP AD #BALMUNG #VIERA

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gentlertides-blog · 6 years ago

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U’tuulivu Nunh [Crystal] LFRP

@gentlertides:

The Basics ––– –

Age: Early to Mid 20′s (Between 22 to 26, depending on Time antics.)

Birthday: 1st Sun of the 5th Astral Moon

Race: Seeker of the Sun Miqo’te

Gender: Male

Marital Status: Unmarried

Server: Balmung (Crystal DC)

Physical Appearance ––– –

Hair: Shaggy, red hair, usually allowed tof all in his eyes.

Eyes: Soft blue, almost periwinkle in tone.

Height: 5’10″

Build: Extremely thin, almost looks malnourished, with very little muscle tone.

Distinguishing Marks: Has distinct scratch marks down his back and sides. Also always has darker circles under his eyes.

Common Accessories: Tuuli is often seen with his chest or sides bared. He hates restrictive clothing, and will never wear anything that covers his upper half too much. Usually, he prefers light-weight fabrics, and wears crystalline accessories...since he finds them pretty and took a fascination to them upon coming to Limsa.

Personal ––– –

Profession: Adventurer, Arcanist

Hobbies: Weaving, Cooking, helping traveling companions with chores

Languages: Eorzean, and conversational Garlean so far, though he’s eager to learn more. Can read Allagan, well enough, but lacks the ability to speak it, and is in study of more written languages.

Residence: Generally tends to fall asleep wherever Tavilan is sleeping at the time, or at whatever inn room he’s nearest to.

Birthplace: Unknown

Religion: Quiet follower of Menphina

Patron Deity: Menphina, the Lover

Fears: Terrified of being used (the wrong way), violent people, other Miqo (sometimes), being alone

Personality: Gentle, loving, believes in the sanctity of life, and love. He wants the best for those around him. Tuuli would forget to sleep, and eat, if he didn’t have someone to remind him, and once he’s attached to someone, he dotes. He’s got a mind that loves to soak up knowledge, studious and bright, Other people are always the most important thing in the world, and whatever he’s doing can wait a few more hours.

Relationships ––– -

Spouse: None [In an open relationship with Tavilan Kagon]

Children: U’Sichana Tuuli, (Many more)

Parents: U’Makhos Tia (Alive) x U'kayden (Alive)

Siblings: U’Trialle Makhos, U’Rudra Tia, U’Msiba Makhos, U’Charon Tia, U’dagor Makhos, U’Algol Nunh (ALL Alive)

Other Relatives: Too many to list. Way too many.

Pets: None yet.

Traits ––– -

* Bold your character’s answer.

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Additional information ––– –

Smoking Habit: No. Drugs: No. Alcohol: Is curious, though has never really touched the stuff.

Possible Hooks ––– –

The Scholar: If you haven’t seen him in the Arcanist guild in Limsa, or hanging around the ports and many other guilds, you’ve found him in one of the other massive libraries somewhere in the main cities. U’tuulivu is a man of knowledge, and he’s well known for his love of knowledge. While he’s nervous about taking on jobs alone, he’s always eager to help, and if you tell him you’ve first hand knowledge of some ancient something or other? He’s always eager to listen.

The Storyteller and Traveler: From the time he left his tribe after choosing to renounce the life of a Nunh, Tuuli has heard so many stories. He craves them like a body craves air, and wants nothing more than to hear the stories of every soul he meets, and then to share the stories he hears with the world! The more fantastic, the better! If you have the option to travel, he’ll follow you to the ends of the world. He wants to see it all. His own little corner will never be enough, and there’s far too much he’s never seen before.

Current Scion of the Seventh Dawn: He was just adventuring. He swore that was all it was. It was something fun, a way to get some knowledge and next thing he knew, he got swept up with the Scions. He will never complain, because the things he learns with them far exceeds what he might’ve learned on his own, but goodness, what madness has he gotten pulled in to...

Other: Anything. Any combo, a former lover? Tribe member? Someone who knew him before he ran off? Maybe a family member? It really could be anything! I’m always down to plot, and even open to new-ideas.

What I’m Looking For ––– –

Contacts and Friends!: So, SO new to in-game RP, so I need time and patience, but I would love some new friends and RP contacts.

SHIPS: Tuuli is so sweet and innocent and shy. He needs more corru I mean Ships! Tav will always be a figure in his life, and someone he ships with, but it’s an open relationship <3 He is PANSEXUAL, so it’s totally open to anyone, and will be Poly, once we get him out from under his sweet little shy rock.

Friendships: Tuuli needs some more people who’re willing to pull him out from under his rock.

Shenanigans: Any kind of adventure/scholarly snafus and mishaps.

Slice of Life/Random Interactions: Random and crazy stuff is GREAT.

OOC and Roleplaying Preferences ––– –

I am a Graphic Communications student, who has serious health issues, so my time’s sporadic in-game, but I’m on Tumblr and Discord all the time. We can definitely chat, and try to coordinate things, and I’m always willing to try out new stuff <3

I’m in CST, so I’m usually able to accommodate MOST stuff? But my sleep schedule’s a bit weird, so we have to talk through that.

I’m on Discord a lot, so it’s often the easiest way to get a hold of me.

I’m still very new to in-game RP, and use the PS4 and a Chat Pad, and have super poor eyesight thanks to my health condition, so PLEASE BE PATIENT <3 I’m trying ;3;

OOC TALKING IS MY JAM. I love plotting, and random IC chat, and just...Talking with my partners is so wonderful and amazing and perfect. It makes me happy ;w;.

My home world is Balmung.

Regarding M/ERP: I am more than happy to write it, HOWEVER, YOU MUST BE 18+. I WILL NOT RISK JAIL TIME FOR YOU. I enjoy smut. So much. Like I will write it all day and night if you let me. It is not my be-all, end-all though. I love general interactions~

Contact Information ––– –

Discord - Ask me <3

In Game - U’tuulivu Nunh

Tumblr - @gentlertides

Items in this post subject to change if/when the need arises (regarding roleplay).

#crystal lfrp #balmung lfrp #;; OoC #;; Head Canons #v;; Storytime with Eva

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dashiel-sky · 6 years ago

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LFRP: Dashiel Sky

Stats

Full Name: Dashiel Sky.

Pronunciation: Dash-ee-el Sky.

Alias(es)/Nickname(s): Dash.

Age: 20.

Gender: Male.

Race: Hyur, Midlander.

Name Day: 13th Sun of the 5th Umbral Moon

Birthplace: Limsa Lominsa.

Guardian: Menphina, the Lover.

Residence: Living in a renovated room at the Drunken Moogle.

Sexual Preference: Bisexual, very heavy male lean.

Relationship Status: Single.

Alignment: Neutral Good.

Physical Appearance

Height: 5 Fulm 6 Ilm

Weight: 126 Ponze

Eyes: Dark Purple

Hair: Bright white

Skin: Tanned

Build: Lithe, semi-androgynous

Scars: None

Tattoos/Marks: Arcanism matrices covering both arms, from wrist to shoulder

Traits

Extroverted / Introverted / In-between

Disorganised / Organised / In-between

Close minded / Open minded / In-between

Calm / Anxious / In-between

Disagreeable / Agreeable / In-between

Cautious / Reckless / In-between

Patient / Impatient / In-between

Outspoken / Reserved / In-between

Leader / Follower / In-between

Empathetic / Unempathetic / In-between

Optimistic / Pessimistic / In-between

Traditional / Modern / In-between

Hard-working / Lazy / In-between

Cultured / Uncultured / In-between

Loyal / Disloyal / In-between

Faithful / Unfaithful / In-between

Family

Saewynn Trinder – Mother – Status: Alive

Leowald Trinder – Father – Status: Deceased.

Mentality

Social level: Very good at public speaking, fairly good at one-to-one speaking. Easily flustered, though.

Optimistic View(s): Everyone deserves a chance. The world is an inherently good place. People are good.

Pessimistic View(s): Gil makes the world go round. Corruption is rife. The rich stand atop the poor, and it can’t be changed.

One Positive Personality Trait: Trusting.

One Negative Personality Trait: Naivety.

One Personality Warning: Submits to the will of others far too easily, thanks to his upbringing.

Random Quirk: Doesn’t appreciate the value of gil.

Hobbies: Researching and practicing warding and seals. Drawing and painting. Reading. Listening to music. People-watching.

Addictions: None, currently.

Habits: Plays with his hair, lip-biter.

Pleasures: Being paid attention to, being complimented, discussing his passion for magic.

Smoke: Never.

Drugs: Never; his bedroom was recently drugged with an aphrodisiac, however.

Alcohol: Rare, usually sweet drinks like cocktails.

(Up to) Five things they appreciate

Beauty. Dash appreciates beauty, almost regardless of race, and definitely regardless of gender.

Music. Dash was raised listening to fine, classical music; he loves hearing new types.

Expensive things. Being raised rich, Dash definitely appreciates expensive food, drink and clothing.

Company. Dash had a rather lonely upbringing, something that he seeks to remedy by meeting people from all walks of life.

People interested in magic. Someone to discuss his passion with, to listen to their experience, theories and own ideas. Wonderful!

(Up to) Five Things they Dislike

Abuse. Any form of physical abuse is something Dash hates to see.

Being likened to his family. Any links to his lineage he’s tried to sever, being reminded of where he’s from, or being likened to them really makes him angry.

Offensive smells. Raised as he was, Dash likes sweet smells, nice smells. Offensive smells make him feel nauseous.

Bad fashion. He’s a rich boy. Dress badly? He’ll be unable to fight off his urge to scowl.

(Up to) Five Strengths

Defensive-magic affinity. His ability to create, maintain and destroy wardings, barriers and seals is exemplary, especially considering he’s mostly self-taught.

Looks. He’s a very pretty boy. His family have bred for looks they can use as a weapon, and it definitely shows.

Wealth. He may have squirreled away only a fraction of his family’s worth, but it’s enough money for most people to live on for several generations.

Communication skills. Dash was raised and taught how to speak coherently and politely to all people.

(Up to) Five Weaknesses

Trusting. Despite his upbringing, Dash tends to trust almost all those around him. Something that is easily preyed upon.

Submissive nature. Dash was raised to submit to his mother’s will. And though he eventually rebelled and escaped her, his very nature is to submit to those of a stronger will.

Physical inability. Dash can’t use swords, or jump, or climb very well. He’s able to run at speed, but his build and upbringing don’t allow for much else.

Wealth. Although a strength, his inability to gauge how poor others are, as well as the coddled-nature of being rich is definitely a weakness, too.

Apathy. Dash was taught about the corruption of the world, how gil makes it function and it’s all that matters, such that he’s apathetic towards the plight of rich v poor. It’s just the way things are, to him.

(Up to) Five Fears

His mother. The source of his life’s torment, the main reason he fled his family’s dark history, and the reason for his suffered upbringing.

Poverty. Though less of a conscious fear, Dash wouldn’t know what to do without money.

Legacy. Becoming the next in a long line of vile, corrupt members of his family.

Possible RP Hooks

His past life. Were you a friend, family-friend or acquaintance Dash made before fleeing his mother? A political ally? Did you even /aid/ his escape somehow? Lots of ideas revolving around this, especially for those playing nobles/business-people from Limsa Lominsa or Ul’dah.

Magic. Interested mage? Bonus points for your interest to be in defensive spells, wards, seals and barriers. Likewise, are you curious about his tattoos? Their origin and abilities?

More magic. As opposed to mere theory, Dash wants to eventually begin using his abilities. Need a ward erecting or destroying? A seal being made or unmade? Let’s talk about it.

The past catches up. Perhaps you’ve been hired to look for him. A bounty hunter, perhaps, or some type of ‘fixer’ hired by the elite. (I have no desire for Dash to wind up ACTUALLY going back to his mother, so this angle only works if you’ll end up sympathizing with him, or potentially blackmailing him? Either way, he’s ICly not going back, and OOCly I won’t let him. :p)

Friendship. Dash has other interests, and just really likes to meet people. So, let’s be friends.

What I’m Seeking

Basically? People to write fun and interesting stories with. I’m quite happy to write mature themes, including injury, angst and eroticism; but I don’t really want these to be a /focus/, more of a thing that happens as our characters grow together, as their stories go on. I care for my RP partners, too, so I often consider the term in a friendly context. If we RP togethe, expect me to consider you my friend.

OOC Notes

You can call me Sarto (My main’s name). I’m a mid-20’s male from the UK. I’ve a long history of RP, though XIV is my first RP-MMO. I like to think I’m approachable, I love meeting people and making friends. I’m happy to RP in-game or through Discord (Just ask me for it!). I work in healthcare, so if you’re sick expect me to worry and try to offer advice; it’s a sometimes-annoying side-effect, sorry. I’m almost always up for RP, though I do have both mental and physical health problems, and do have days where I don’t wish to do anything. Please don’t take it personally; it’s probably just a bad day.

I love asking and answering asks on Tumblr. (Follows come from Archmagesarto)

Otherwise I’m pretty boring and/or basic, so not much else to go here. Look forward to (hopefully) rp with you soon!

#LFRP #Balmung #FFXIV RP #LFRP FFXIV #FF14 RP #Dashiel Sky #About

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dlamp-dictator · 6 years ago

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Three Houses Quick Thoughts

Just finished the Black Eagle’s route today and wanted to give my quick thoughts before I finally start drafting that Rambling. Mostly to get some of my thoughts together somewhere accessible so I have something to reference back to when I actually start drafting the danged thing. Don’t worry, I’m not going to spoil anything here... no story spoilers anyway.

Anyway...

The Bad

I was hesitant to say this at first, but now that I finished this game I can confirm that I hate Byleth as a character. They're honestly worse than Corrin to me due to their lack of personality and agency in their own story. The mystery surround their birth and general existence just muddies the whole plot when it tries to make them out as important when I, the player, barely know anything about my own damn character aside from being the father of a great mercenary. I didn’t like their designs either, but I wasn’t a fan of Corrin’s or Robin’s so... I guess their consistent in making player character designs I dislike/am apathetic for.

While I think the system for class advancement is good in the early and mid game, it fell a little flat as I got to the late game. Class mastery really needs to happen a bit faster, at least to a point that I don’t have to actively grind for mastery points. I pity those trying to optimize on hard mode when you don’t have endless auxiliary battles.

On that note, as of 2019 gender-locked classes are dumb and the one good thing Fates did was remove it. Why bright it back? Why deny me War Master/Punch Queen Edelgard? Why deny me a Dark Mage Lysithea? It just makes no sense to me.

Why is there no Dread Fighter class so Petra doesn’t die from a mage glaring her?

Why is there no Kishin Knight class so Bernie be more useful with a bow as a flying archer and have Amaterasu?

Why is there no Malig Knight class so Hubert can ride dragons with his waifu?

Why is Edelgard’s unique class an armored unit with 5 movement when the maps basically require two flying unique to be playable?

Oh yeah, these maps really remind of Echoes given how useless and slow the armor classes are without someone to warp them. These maps really want you to maneuver around them and can get very large. I feel like I’m playing Echoes again for the wrong reasons.

The Good

The soundtrack is great. For all my complaints (and believe me, that’s just the tip of the iceberg), I do love this game’s music. Especially some of these battle tracks. The Edge of Dawn is probably one of my new favorite songs now.

While I didn’t like the class system in the late, the early and mid game is where it shines and I had the most fun testing things out and experimenting. As a casual player, it was fun to mix and match class and see what worked.

The supports were all done very well, some of my favorites came being Edelgard, Caspar, and Hubert. They really fleshed out all of these characters and I’m looking forward to a second playthough and seeing how all the rest are going to play out, especially when I’ll start actively recruiting now.

Speaking of, I like that recruiting classes has a real effect in the time skip, as it keeps those characters in your house after things go down and... well, as I said, I won’t spoil things, but just know it really makes you think about what it means for some of your newer members stay on board despite what happens and it does wonders for storytelling.

While I had my hesitations about weapon durability being back it worked out for the better. It keeps the some of the strategy fresh and makes really decide between a strong yet fragile weapon versus a weak but reliable weapon that can take 20+ more swings, especially with the special relic weapons. Though weapons breaking in a story mission sucks.

The voice-acting was great, much like in Echoes. Nothing much else to say save for the fact that there’s more of it and it’s all great.

As conflicted as I feel about the Black Eagles storyline, I like the overall theme individuality, standing up for your own beliefs on your own two feet, and making a name for yourself with your own effort. The execution... well, again, not going to post spoilers, but I’ll just say the journey was more exciting than the destination.

Again, my conflicting feelings on the story aside, I do like Edelgard as a character. I can really understand why she did the things she did in the time skip, especially after some of her later supports with certain characters. It makes me really wish the story itself was written to focus more the House heads than Byleth.

The fact that all the characters canonically have last names is a nice touch too.

Byleth aside, I did like a lot of the character designs, especially after the timeskip.

The ability to dismount is outright broken and I love it. My Pegasus Knights can look an archer in the eye and laugh at them before getting off their mount and stabbing them to death and climbing back on their flying horse.

Canto is also outright broken and I love it for similar reasons.

General Advice

Because I feel like being nice and I wanted to just give some pointers after finish a playthrough.

According to people far better at this game than me, Master Classes are honestly optional unless you plan on being a flying class. A lot of the growths and abilities aren’t really worth it unless you’re specifically grinding for them and at least on the Black Eagle route, horse mounts can be more of a hindrance than a help with the maps of the last few chapters. I couldn’t tell you how many times I had to dismount half my army just to get a few extra movement spaces.

That said, War Master, Wyvern Lord, and Falcon Knight are generally seen as good classes overall.

Like I said, at least on the Black Eagle route, mobility is probably the best asset you can have, especially for flying units. Combining flying units, Stride, and Warp can outright break some of these maps in the right situation. You can clear a map in one or two turns if you play your cards right.

Again, coming from people far better at this game than me, don’t prioritize recruiting other students, especially on your first playthrough. Your original group is honestly all you need and I believe you can get the teachers after a certain point for free if you need some extra magic on your team.

That said, general consensus from people far better at this game that I am is that Felix, Ingrid, Bernadetta, Ferdinand, Leonie, Lysithea, and Raphael are good targets to go for. Though given my Black Eagle route I’ll say that a War Master Caspar and Dancer Dorothea are nothing to sneeze at.

Use Divine Pulse, it’s there for a reason.

And that’s it for my quick thoughts. Rambling for this will be come... eh, later this week.

#your dictator is speaking #fire emblem #fire emblem three houses

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little-purple-thundercloud · 6 years ago

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LFRP: L’yhta Mahre (Balmung)

Character Name: L’yhta Mahre

The Basics ––– –

Age: Somewhere in her early to mid-20s (thanks, time bubble)

Birthday: 12th Sun of the 3rd Astral Moon (May 12th)

Race: Seeker of the Sun Miqo’te

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual. Prefers women romantically, prefers men sexually.

Marital Status: In a poly pod. By mutual agreement, the pod has certain open characteristics.

Alignment: Chaotic Good.

Elemental Affinity: Astral, Wind over Fire

What I’m Looking For ––– –

Adventure, including IC dungeons

Friends

Fellow mages to talk shop with

People with problems that need Magic! to solve

An apprentice

Possibly, romance?

What I’m Not Looking For ––– –

Unpleasant or abusive rivalries

Villains (got enough of those already...)

Mean, demanding, or uncommunicative RP partners

Other OOC Notes ––– –

Hi! I’ve decided to put this out there to see about expanding my RP circle. L’yhta’s a fairly easy to get along with character, as long as you don’t mind (or if you’re especially interested in) adventuring and magic theory. She has other interests, but being somewhat of an awkward sort at heart, she tends to fall back on what she knows -- and gets quite excited about it, to boot.

I’m usually in XIV during the evenings US Central Time (after 8pm or so), but I’m also available on Tumblr and Discord much more. Please don’t hesitate to message me if you’d like to interact! I swear I’m not scary.

More under the cut!

Physical Appearance ––– –

Hair: Highly variable, but naturally purple.

Eyes: Bright heliotrope.

Height: 5 fulms, 5 ilms

Build: Lanky, rangy, bony, and muscular, without many curves. She looks rather like a runner who eats far less than she should.

Distinguishing Marks: One thin white scar across her throat. What’s most distinguishing is her utter lack of distinguishing marks; outside of that scar, her skin looks eerily perfect and almost painted on, as if it were magicked to be such by some obsessed with flawlessness.

Common Accessories: L’yhta typically carries a pouch of candied fruits with her, along with a small ritual kit. She wears a linkpearl stud in her right ear that looks like a rainbow-colored flower. Her constant companion is Astrea, one of the Stardust Rods from the age of Mhach that she’s carefully restored over the years. When she can’t carry that artifact with her, she keeps a small mythrite scepter with a ruby focusing gem in a garter on her upper thigh.

Usual Attire: In public, L’yhta is often found wearing the robes of a mage with a taste for the historical (leaning towards Mhachi or late Allagan styles), along with short skirts or tights, ring guards, and ankle boots. In more casual situations, she prefers light skirts and sleeveless tops or Doman-style attire.

Personal ––– –

Profession: ~ Adventuring mage: L’yhta is a member of the Adventurers’ Guild of Eorzea and holds an honorary commission in the Maelstrom’s Foreign Levy for magical services rendered. She is known to actively practice all four Eorzean Disciplines of Magic and then some, with her primary adventuring praxis being thaumaturgy augmented with arcanima. ~ Researcher of esoterica: She’s also relatively well-known at the four magic guilds (though their opinions of her vary) as a researcher and once student. She has a reputation for devising new spells and trying to explore areas of magic that don’t neatly fit into the Eorzean Disciplines of Magic.

Hobbies: Reading, exploring dark places, listening to ribald music, writing questionable poetry, drinking to excess, musing about grand schemes to improve the world, swimming

Languages: Eorzean Common. She can read Belah’dian, Mhachi, and Nymian, and has a passing familiarity with Allagan script. Beyond that, she knows a few phrases in Doman. She does not know huntspeak.

Residence: An apartment in the Ivory Tower in Shirogane. She also has a small apartment in Fisherman’s Bottom in Limsa Lominsa.

Birthplace: A small coastal village in Vylbrand, about 100 malms north of Limsa Lominsa.

Religion: Worship of the Mothercrystal

Patron Deity: She would say the Mothercrystal, for all that matters.

Fears: Losing friends and family; the disintegration of her poly pod; an ignoble and irrelevant death; being unable to help someone she finds in need; the Empire steamrolling over Eorzea, Doma, or Hingaishi; being hated for no reason. Oddly, she doesn’t really fear death, and a part of her wants to die as a martyr.

Nicknames: Lyta, Y-hta, Lady Sorceress, Mistress Lyta

Relationships ––– -

Spouse: Divorced. She is part of (and quite committed) to a poly pod, but none of them would describe it as a “spouse-type” relationship.

Children: None

Parents: Deceased

Siblings: Six sisters and one brother, all of whom reside in the tribe where she grew up.

Other Relatives: She has about ten nephews and nieces at this point, as well as several cousins. One of her nephews followed her back to Limsa Lominsa and is a newly minted Yellowjacket.

Pets: None

Traits ––– -

* Bold your character’s answer.

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Additional information ––– –

Personality: L’yhta is impulsive, but largely good-natured, as long as she doesn’t view someone as Evil (which usually requires they demonstrate a desire or intent to harm others for their own benefit). She has an unfortunate tendency to speak her mind and to accidentally flirt with people, and while she’s often quiet at first when in a large social situation, she’ll quickly engage with anyone who interacts with her. Those who get to know her will discover that she can sometimes be dryly snarky, cares for others quickly, is often impatient, loves and trusts her friends deeply, and can have a very nasty temper.

Recreational Substances: L’yhta has a very high alcohol tolerance and tends to drink to excess. She also partakes in recreational herbs, but only ones she considers “mind-opening,” such as hallucinogens and empathogens. She very assiduously avoids drugs like somnus.

Favorite Foods: Sweets, fish, miqa’bobs, and most Doman fare.

Likes: Adventurers, people who don’t take themselves too seriously, open-minded mages, battle, surviving nearly getting killed, helping others, the sense of a spell well-executed

Dislikes: Religious zealots, most nobility (knights she can be okay with, depending on their behavior), boredom, abusive individuals, being alone

Virtues: Loyal, trusting, defends others without hesitation, playful

Vices: Drinks to excess, lustful, holds grudges, temper

RP Hooks ––– –

Mistress of Magic: Whether you’ve got a magical problem that needs fixing, a desire to learn new magicks, a drive to talk shop about magic, or just an interest in the Art, L’yhta can range from anything from sounding board to plot device dispenser, drinking buddy to teacher, research friend to spellcrafter. She knows a lot about magic and I enjoy sharing the lore.

Adventuring Buddies: Need someone to blow things up for you? Maybe some combat healing magic? As a member of the Adventurers’ Guild, L’yhta can pick up leves that can put her just about anywhere in the world. Maybe she gets assigned to your adventuring party, maybe you end up investigating the same ruins, or maybe you’re looking for adventurers for a job.

Anything else! We can come up with lots of reasons, I suspect, for our characters to interact!

#ooc #character bio #ffxiv roleplay #balmung roleplay #character profile #lfrp

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chocolateheal · 6 years ago

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Five Reasons Why Female Singers Names That Start With E Is Common In USA | female singers names that start with e

Childish Gambino, the date name of amateur Donald Glover, and addition arresting rap nominee, Kendrick Lamar, both beneath invitations to accomplish or appear Sunday’s show. Some rap artists feel the Grammys acquire been apathetic to admit how the brand now dominates accustomed music.

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Ludwig Goransson, a songwriter and ambassador on “This is America,” said backstage that he was afraid the victories were so historic. Aloof alert to the radio, watching the ability and seeing how abounding rap songs are downloaded is affirmation of rap’s impact.

“It’s about time article like this happened with the Grammys as well,” Goransson said.

Cardi B became the aboriginal abandoned woman to win best rap anthology , although Lauryn Hill was the advance accompanist of the Fugees, which won the aforementioned accolade at the 1997 Grammys. Cardi B was so afraid accepting the accolade that she joked, “Maybe I charge to alpha smoker weed.”

She looked annihilation but ashamed earlier, back her arrangement of “Money” was amid the night’s achievement highlights. Janelle Monae delivered a smoker adaptation of her hit “Make Me Feel”; St. Vincent and Dua Lipa’s affiliation on “Masseduction” was steamy; H.E.R. angry active with “Hard Place”; and Carlile sang an aggressive adaptation of her hit “The Joke.”

Being allotment of a big night for women was huge to her, Carlile said backstage afterwards the show.

“I’m a kid from the ’90s and Lilith Fair, you know, and those women were aloof assertive those platforms,” she said. “They were assertive those amphitheatre and amphitheater stages. They were accepting almanac deals. They were acceptable almanac admiral themselves. They absolutely controlled the airwaves. They were on the radio. And to watch that abate for the aftermost 20 years has been heartbreaking. Tonight, it gives me achievement as a mother of two adolescent daughters.”

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When she accustomed her best new artisan award, Dua Lipa advisedly said, “I assumption this year we absolutely stepped up.”

That was a advertence to approachable Recording Academy CEO Neil Portnow, who said women bare to “step up” back he was asked about the abridgement of women in top categories in 2018. He after accustomed it was a poor best of words and delivered addition mea culpa on Sunday’s show.

Yet Dua Lipa was adored by accepting her accepting accent cut off mid-sentence. She wasn’t alone, however, as a scattering of added artists were additionally hustled off the stage, and the actualization seemed aimless at the end, hasty through its final awards. Under the circumstances, accepting a diffuse accolade to Portnow afore he gave his own accent seemed tone-deaf.

Lipa said after she would acquire thanked her fans, her inspirations and aggregation if she had added time.

When she was onstage, Lipa was one of a scattering of winners who paid appropriate accolade to adolescent artists. Addition was Drake, whose actualization to acquire the Grammy back “God’s Plan” won best rap song was a abruptness because he’s not big on accolade shows.

He reminded admirers and adolescent artists that awards are based on the abstract angle of others, and aren’t contests in which there are bright winners and losers.

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“You’ve already won if you acquire bodies who are singing your songs chat for word, if you’re a hero in your hometown. Look, if there are bodies who acquire approved jobs who are advancing out in the rain and the snow, spending their hard-earned money to buy tickets to appear to your shows, you don’t charge this appropriate here. I affiance you. You already won,” he said at the Staples Centermost in Los Angeles.

Musgrave best up anthology of the year for “Golden Hour,” which is labeled country but had added appeal.

“I never dreamed that this almanac would be met with such love, such warmth, such positivity,” said Musgraves, who performed a august adaptation of her song “Rainbow.”

Dolly Parton starred in the best of the night’s two tributes to adept artists, assuming a assortment of her songs with Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry and Maren Morris. The highlight of Diana Ross’ night was the beautiful addition by a grandson with a abundance of hair.

The Grammys took some online blowback by accepting Jennifer Lopez bear a accolade to Motown , already the nation’s capital characterization for atramentous artists. Despite her hustle, Lopez was outshone by actualization host Alicia Keys and Smokey Robinson carrying one ballad of “Tracks of My Tears” a capella.

Obama appeared on the show’s aperture with Keys, Gaga, Lopez and Jada Pinkett Smith to call the role music had played in their lives — acutely a acicular advertence to aftermost year’s altercation over women artists.

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“Music has consistently helped me acquaint my story,” Obama said. “Whether we like country or rap or rock, music helps us allotment ourselves. It allows us to apprehend one another.”

Another ex-White House citizen was awarded a Grammy on Sunday. Former President Jimmy Carter, who is 94, won an accolade for best announced chat recording.

It’s his additional Grammy.

___

Associated Press writers Mesfin Fekadu, Nekesa Mumbi Moody, Jonathan Landrum and Beth Harris contributed to this report.

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arabellaflynn · 2 years ago

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Advent Calendar 04: Interactive (And Feelable!) Fiction

Greetings, and welcome to Advent Calendar 2022! This year we're being self-indulgent and rambling about video games.

As usual, the Advent Calendar is also a pledge drive. Subscribe to my writing Patreon here by December 15th for at least $5/mo and get an e-card for Ratmas; subscribe for $20/mo (and drop me a mailing address) and you'll get a real paper one!

I hope you're all having a happy winter holiday season. Let the nerd rambling commence!

The tragically short-lived practice of including fold-out maps and info sheets with console RPGs was part necessity, and part tradition. Once upon a time, before consoles, before RPGs, before even graphics... there were games with words. And those games came with "feelies".

The earliest text-based video game I am aware of is Colossal Cave Adventure, often styled as ADVENT, the only case and maximum number of characters allowed in file names on the PDP-11, the minicomputer it ran on. Back in those days, people did not have an all-in-one computer system sitting on their desk; rather, some large institution bought an expensive cabinet-sized thinking machine and put it in an equally-expensive climate controlled room, and those permitted were allowed to use terminals to access some sliver of the expensive machine's thinking time. Will Crowther took advantage of this arrangement while he was undergoing an unpleasant divorce, to write a game for his two daughters to play remotely while he couldn't be with them in person.

Crowther's major innovation was in programming the game to use a "parser", or a mini language processor, that allowed the player to communicate with the game in basic English words rather than having to learn the technical PDP-11 command set. It provides the basic framework for interactive fiction games to this very day, and in the mid-2000s the metaphor was even extended to programming interactive fiction with Inform 7, an interpreter that allows the author to build the game in something that looks and reads a lot like English.

Parsers are fun, for a certain very specific definition of "fun". IF players are all familiar with the metagame of "guess the verb", caused by a parser with a limited vocabulary and a game that fails to make clear what words it knows. You see a lot of transcripts like this:

> take snack

Taken.

> eat snack

You have to open the wrapper first.

> open snack

Opened.

> eat snack

I'm sorry, I don't recognize the command "eat".

> consume snack

I'm sorry, I don't recognize the command "consume".

> taste snack

I'm sorry, I don't recognize the command "taste".

> lick snack

I'm sorry, I don't recognize the command "lick".

> nibble snack

I'm sorry, I don't recognize the command "nibble".

> bite snack

I'm sorry, I don't recognize the command "bite".

> fuck you

That's not very nice.

> iashfuihasiufhisuhdf

I'm sorry, I don't recognize the command "iashfuihasiufhisuhdf".

The classics of the genre developed "feelies" -- that is, tchotchkes in the packages -- early on. The first one I know of is Deadline, a murder mystery where they just couldn't fit everything they needed within the game itself, and so resorted to packing a printed autopsy report in the box. Turns out that, in addition to being adorable props, feelies were excellent cheap(ish) copy protection. Deadline was accidentally unusable without the autopsy report, but publishers soon realized that if they made progress in the game contingent on having information present only in the feelies, they could curtail the kind of rampant piracy made easy by disk copying. In general, the more obstacles you put between copy and distribution, the less people will do it; making people hike down to the copy center was not insurmountable, but it was enough to deter the most apathetic of casual pirates. Later schemes employed text in an unXeroxable blue, or screened with a red that looked black to non-color copiers, or scrambled such that you needed a lens or prism (also in the box) to read it.

Interactive fiction is alive and well; there's an IF club at MIT, where I once got to sit in on a couple of meetings with an old co-worker of mine. (Getting there was an adventure of its own. MIT is not well-marked. All the doors have 'authorized personnel only' notices on them, but if you're the kind of person who's kept out by polite "keep out" signs, you're not the sort of person they really want wandering around MIT in the first place. I casually tailgated into several blocks of offices before I figured out where the meeting was.) Many years ago, Infocom, the great grand-pappy of commercial IF publishing, was gracious enough to distrubute the classic Zork trilogy free as a promotion for one of the later Zork adventures. You can watch a playthrough here:

youtube

...or play it yourself at this link. Walkthrough here, in case you find yourself playing "guess the verb".

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vivansjing-blog · 6 years ago

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Horses in Cold Weather

Question: How would I know whether my pony is cold? I put him out in virus climate with a shed, however he won't go in it. I don't know what number of covers he needs to keep warm.

Answer: Horses are vastly improved adjusted to the virus climate than we give them acknowledgment for. They grow an astounding winter coat that protects them and keeps them warm and dry down to the skin. Be that as it may, there are a few components to think about when choosing how to deal with our steeds in the winter. Ponies are more beneficial whenever given a lot of open air time which enables them to conform to the temperatures and causes them inhale outside air (read my article about natural air). Consider how warm a 45 degree day feels after it has been 20 degrees for half a month. The principal day in the fall that it is 45 degrees feels amazingly cold.

How about we take a gander at steeds in nature. In the fall they put on additional weight so they have fat stores to consume to keep warm in the winter. This is the reason our residential steeds (pooches, felines and people, as well) dependably appear to get fat in the fall. In winter the principle sustenance accessible is roughage, dead or torpid grasses and weeds. Roughage, and that incorporates feed, really warms the steeds since it discharges heat as it is processed. Have you seen that your steeds eat more feed on chilly days? They are keeping warm. So our wild ponies eat roughage and regularly shed pounds amid the winter, however they endure well and are prepared to put on weight quickly in the spring. (Shockingly, we have encouraged our local steeds well amid the winter, so they needn't bother with all that spring grass since they can originator or if nothing else get large.) In nature, ponies remain warm by moving around, since they frequently need to head out to get unfrozen water, and we as a whole expertise much exercise keeps us warm- - simply clean your outbuilding and range your passageway to discover.

Presently we should take a gander at our cutting edge well-kept pony. They are fat and very much encouraged so no issue in that office. Most have a lot of feed to keep them warm on a chilly day and most have cover from the breeze and downpour (either in the forested areas, shed or horse shelter). It is great to give them more feed on a cool night, or if nothing else the decision to eat more. Be that as it may, if your pony is in and the stable is shut everything down it's 40 degrees inside, he needn't bother with additional roughage. Outside steeds with a round parcel regularly don't move much; they leave the round bunch just to get water (in any event that is the thing that my apathetic mammoths do). So development to keep warm does not happen much. Nonetheless, in the event that you are attentive, you will see that from time to time the entirety of your steeds will go around for no clear reason- - however the reason really is to get warm. At that point they return to eating.

Winter Coats

Two ponies are in the snow, one with a sweeping, one without. Notice the unmelted snow on the unblanketed horse. His hide is working by protecting him. His body heat isn't getting away; if his hide did not work the snow would liquefy promptly. The unblanketed horse has a similar measure of unmelted snow on his back as the covered one. In the long run since the steed is hotter than the solidified ground the snow will soften on them two. The issue we people have when we pat our ponies in the winter is that they feel cold to contact, however this is on the grounds that their hide has offended them and is keeping all the glow beside the skin. Steeds can have icicles hanging off their hide and be consummately warm underneath.

Covers

There are a couple of motivations to utilize covers and a group not to. Steeds who are cut should be covered, since we have taken their hide off. There are numerous awesome, lightweight and well-fitting covers available (cover fit is for one more day). Old ponies who can't keep warm need covers, regardless of whether they never required them when they were more youthful. In nature those old ponies would have been eaten by a mountain lion, so they would not require a cover. Steeds who have been debilitated, are too slender, have been saved or have some other medical issues may require covers. A few people of all ages are cold-natured and truly do should be covered, as do steeds who have no haven. Whatever is left of the unclipped populace does not.

What number of covers do ponies need? That relies upon how much cut-out has been done and the climate conditions. In any case, much of the time a solitary cover will work, with substantial covers being utilized exposed to the harsh elements climate. You can stick your hand under the cover and in the event that it is toasty and warm, it is sufficiently substantial for the climate. In the event that it feels cool under the sweeping, you may require a heavier one. Kindly don't get an incredible fitting external cover and include an out-dated structure sheet underneath. The sheet does not include much warmth, and it for the most part rubs the shoulders and causes a great deal of agony.

In the event that you cover and begin from the get-go in the season you should keep it up, since the pony will adjust to wearing it, and his temperature control will be familiar with it. More often than not we cover since we people are cold and figure our steeds must be, as well. A vet companion of mine meeting mid one December from Vermont commented that the ponies she found in Virginia had a lot a bigger number of layers of covers on in December than her customers' steeds had on in Vermont in January. Well... they are for the most part ponies, isn't that so? So what is the distinction? Vermont proprietors are acclimated with the cold, so they anticipate that their ponies should be adjusted as they seem to be. Virginia proprietors see considerably less virus climate, so they think their steeds are cold when they are cold. The steeds in Vermont were all warm and content with single covers.

On the off chance that you do cover, recollect that a pony's hide cushions out when it is cold. This includes air space like your down coat has, and that air loads up with warmth making the hide progressively effective. Covers squash down that air space, so you need a sufficiently substantial cover to give genuine warmth. A dainty sheet may shield a steed from downpour, however it may not give much warmth and may leave the pony colder than if he had no cover.

How would you tell if your steed is sufficiently warm? You need to become acquainted with your pony and focus on little practices. Steeds who are cold will in general group up in a shielded spot and may not be happy to go out into the field territory even to eat feed to keep warm. They may truly hunger for their slows down. They may shudder. Nonetheless, shuddering is additionally only a consummately ordinary approach to heat up, so a warm pony may shudder for a brief span when he is cold and be glad. The virus pony will be seen shuddering significantly more much of the time or when the various ponies are definitely not. Wet virus climate is more earnestly on ponies than dry cold, and a blustery 35-degree day will cause significantly more shuddering than some other climate condition. Steeds truly welcome a type of safe house on those wet days, so they can get dry a bit and get warm. However, it won't hurt a sound pony to be outside and get wet and shudder a bit. Sheds are most utilized on stormy days, while a 10-degree day with snow may not locate a solitary steed close to the shed since they are cheerful wide open to the harshe elements.

Perspiring

Cutting a working pony in the winter turns into a need when you buckle sufficiently down to start to sweat. Sweat includes dampness from the skin out, which implies the dry soft hide can't work. Ponies will get cold if not got dry totally in the wake of working. Overwhelming winter coats don't dry effectively, since the hide is thick and is intended to not give water a chance to enter (with the goal that the steed can remain warm when it is sprinkling). Since a large number of our fantastic covers do inhale and permit water vapor to go through them, it is conceivable to put a cover on a pony who is very much cooled out yet at the same time somewhat sodden and let him dry underneath it. In any case, you can't put a cover on a warm or hot steed as they will simply sweat more. A few ponies, particularly those with a halfway clasp, will sweat in any case under a cover if not absolutely cool and dry.

Ponies left covered in warm climate will sweat significantly under the cover. This is an issue when you leave home for work at 5 a.m. when it is 15 degrees out, and by early afternoon it is 60 degrees. There is no ideal answer, yet unclipped ponies can finish up with downpour decay and skin contaminations when they sweat for a considerable length of time and don't legitimately dry out. Check whether a companion could stop over and take covers off later in the first part of the day, if conceivable. Or on the other hand maybe put a lighter cover for the day- - it may not be impeccable, yet it would be more agreeable than being unreasonably hot for the greater part of the day.

So let your ponies appreciate the virus climate, and go out for a ride. There is no temperature where it is unreasonably cold for a steed to be ridden or to head outside in the event that they are adjusted to it. There are some climate conditions in the far north where the outrageous virus makes it entirely awkward for man or mammoth to go out, however for the most part that is on the grounds that our fields don't have enough space for characteristic breeze breaks of profound chasms and woods, which would be available out on a 10,000 section of land run. Appreciate the winter.

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thechanelmuse · 7 years ago

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It all became real the summer before my senior year of college. It was 2010, and my home phone still had a cord, which I wrapped around my fingers as I waited not-so-patiently for the apathetic representative on the other end to tell me the bad news about my student loan debt. My father was in front of me, his typically ruddy face redder than usual. “A 9.25 percent interest rate?” he yelled, “How can you put that on a kid?” It was clear he was worried, and he had every right to be — as the cosigner of my loans, my debt would be his responsibility, too.

The loan, ironically called a "Smart Option" loan, has a variable interest rate that fluctuates based on changes in the financial market — which may have been explained to me at the time (I truly don't remember), but I know I didn't fully grasp what that meant. Either way, neither of my parents wanted me to take it — I could tell that much. My mother didn’t even have to say it, as she sat wordlessly next to me on the couch. Like most working-class parents, she couldn’t fathom paying more than $30,000 a year for my education (let alone $60,000). My father, an electrician who worked nights driving Amtrak trains to put himself through trade school, only earned his associate’s degree in his mid-30s. My mother held a few random part-time jobs over the years while she devoted herself to raising my brother and me, but she never graduated from high school. The concept of attending a private college, let alone paying for it, was completely foreign to them. They wanted me to chase something bigger than they ever had access to. They just didn’t want “bigger” to mean drowning for the next 20 years in an all-consuming pile of debt.

At this point in my education, after two years of private college (and one in a public university), I had already taken out eight substantial loans totaling over $67,000, whose repayment I hadn't even begun to contemplate. Knowing how much debt I had already amassed, my father tried to impress upon me the difference between this new loan and all of the others I had already taken out — whose average interest rate meted out to a little under 6 percent — and why this loan would be harder to pay in a sea of already-hard-to-pay debt. I knew racking up one more loan and another $24,000 wasn’t ideal, but what was the alternative? Dropping out? Transferring to a new school and hoping my credits would translate? Leaving all the relationships I had cultivated with students and professors alike behind? So I chose to take the loan. In my final year of college, with my back against the wall, Sallie Mae made me an offer I did not know how to refuse.

Now, eight years later, that loan — one of nine that left me $95,000 in debt upon graduation (because, yes, interest does accrue while you’re in school) — very clearly marks the exact moment when I lost control of my own financial destiny.

According to a February 2018 study published by the Levy Economic Institute, a nonpartisan policy think tank at Bard College, there are 44.2 million Americans with student loans, which adds up to about $1.4 trillion in debt. There already exists a myriad of research-driven articles that wax on the impact of the student loan crisis on the future of this country (screwed), our economy (broken), and the weight of the loan crisis (crippling). Those are all important to read, but this story isn’t one of them. I've learned that citing the national student loan debt totals in the trillions doesn’t get across how this massive problem impacts us individually, in real life. So, I'd rather talk honestly about what it’s like to live this… to explain in everyday dollars and cents how I get by living in a debt spiral, month to month, paycheck to paycheck.

When I was 18, I fully believed that taking out student loans was the only way to achieve my dream and my parents’ dream for me — to transcend my working class upbringing. I was desperate and uninformed and, because of this, I entered into a dangerous relationship with a loan company that will last half my lifetime. Now, I’m finally facing up to the brutal details (after years of sticking my head in the sand) and learning the ins and outs of my debt — and the truth is mind-blowing.

Part of the problem lies in how complicated it is to find that truth in the first place. Navient, as Sallie Mae’s student loan division is now known after it splintered into two companies in 2014, doesn’t make it easy to access the specific details of your loans; sure, it's online portal does have a tab that says “Loan Details,” but inside that section, only the money you still owe is listed (not the money you’ve already paid).

(You can also see here that the interest rate for that loan isn’t 9.25 percent anymore. Because it's a loan with a variable interest rate, it’s up to 11 percent — a fact I only learned when I called to ask why my monthly payments had increased. As my lender matter-of-factly loan-splained, “We’re not legally required to disclose when we change your interest rate, as per the contract.” I had missed that clause in the multi-page contract I signed when I was 20.)

In order to determine how much money you’ve actually paid to a loan, you have to browse your “Account History” and download a jumbled Excel file that’s filled with extraneous details that don’t make simple addition or subtraction easy. (That's if the files work at all — my browser crashed repeatedly for weeks just trying to get this information. When I called Navient to report this, they offered to mail me the details, which they said would arrive within 18 days.)

Maybe it’s technically difficult to list what a client has paid thus far on that details page… or maybe that information made readily available and visible to the world would catapult most borrowers into fits of rage. It’s hard to tell, and my repeated calls to Navient media reps for comment received no reply. No matter why it's so difficult to find, the truth behind my payments and how they were allocated stopped me dead in my tracks. I had no idea so much of the money I was paying did nothing but abate rising interest, barely touching the principal sum.

For example, the worst of my nine loans looks like this:

#college debt #student loan debt #sallie mae #i keep thinking about all the money one of my sisters is gonna owe.....

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