#i use they/them for sayo if that caused confusion

[natsuhi-did-nothing-wrong]

Honestly I love Beatrice saying that the adults solving the epitaph was the least likely outcome. And Sayo talking about the epitaph being solved as a miracle that could potentially stop the tragedy. Like they really think the adults are idiots, and can you blame them?? Sayo only ever sees the adults at their worst, bickering over money and reverting back to childhood roles. How could they know that the adults are actually pretty smart when they put their differences aside and work together? They’ve never done that before!

A big thing that bothered me about chapter three was that Sayo must’ve killed at least Nanjo since Eva couldn’t do that, but Sayo also said the murders would stop if someone solved the epitaph. And yeah chapter 3 wasn’t written by Sayo but I still like each layer to make sense independently as well as in concert with the other layers. Now I think I get it.

Beatrice waited on the first night to see if they’d solve it, like always, and when they didn’t she just figured there’s no way they’d be able to solve it in the chaos after the first twilight. So she didn’t check. In the requiem tea party Beatrice says that the plan was to commit 13 murders if the epitaph wasn’t solved in the first night, never even seeming to consider that it could be solved on any other night. I think that if the actual intention was that they only had one night to solve it, that would’ve been made clear in the letter from Beatrice about solving the epitaph. It just genuinely didn’t occur to her that solving it later was an option

Eva going around murdering people doesn’t strike Sayo as particularly unusual either, like that’s Classic Ushiromiya Adult shenanigans. If anything it’s just an annoyance trying to make sure things still fit the epitaph, and to have to improvise instead of following the pre-written plan. With all of Sayo’s allies dead in the first twilight, there’s no one else who could check if the epitaph had been solved either

[ggren-mainz]

Umineko - question arcs playthrough -> ep 2 - 1

last part - All parts and episodes - next part

Welcome back after an almost 2-week break, it's time for the next chapter ;P. Also i decided I'll introduce my gf and family to umineko via the stageplay, as i have heard that it's pretty good. Only up to ep 3 (soon 4) now, but anyways.

edit 2 days later as this sat in drafts : Watched it with my sis (my mom deemed it too tiring) and she loved it. Her favorite is George (both the character and the actor ;P), and she had some very interesting theories, one of them being that genji is kinzo's child, which damn. Age-wise i don't think it works but at least she's thinking. Also the outro was very confusing but i think it might've revealed some stuff. I'm not sure, but I'll keep it in mind. Anyways amazing watch.

She also did the tierlist and it's so funny

Anyways

I want to start this by saying that the culprit actually showed to me in a dream. That's right, i had a premonition. Basically the dream was me and some friends running in a destroyed world from Shannon with a gun. So what I'm getting to is that I now solved the mystery, and will now just laugh for the following 7 chapters. Ha ha ha.

(pls if shannon actually has any relation with the culprit/is the culprit, do not tell me or make any jokes/imply it. I am simply fooling around because of this quite funny dream i had)

rocking that victorian newspaper boy inspired fit.

and the hippie look. Perfect case of underdressed x overdressed. Also Tomitake Flash?????

this reads like some insane foreshadowing. Or at least it's definitely related to our little characters as well. You could say that they're like fish from the perspective of the witches. anyways, I'll put s mental pin to this line and perhaps rethink it later.

glad to see she's included in the credits now.

Anyways what's with this aquarium date?? When is it happening? Basically George and Shannon are on a date, and are just having fun, being very cute.

can't really figure out if this line should mean more or not. Cause like it's not that weird, but also it could turn into something more sinister later. I'll see.

And they say romance is dead.

Oh also another thing we (me and my sis) noticed yesterday while watching the play, but George is 23 and Shannon is 16.... raises one eyebrow. Ok george...ok...

....what magic? Hey shannon i think George will understand it very well why not explain it to us?

OOooohhh so this happens before the first game time wise. ok ok makes sense.

woah woah woah this is a bit of a change of atmosphere.

so from how much i'm getting this is Shannon talking about breaking free from her fate as 'furniture'. She is on the shrine's rock (the one that was destroyed at the beginning of ch 1) and wants to break some mirror that was offered as a sacrifice. I wonder, does that mean that because she broke this mirror, the shrine broke down and as such somehow started this entire tragedy?

is the key here metaphorical, or could it be referring to the key in the ephitath?

what promise? what wish? so many questions....question arc moment....

We then have a long scene of George and his family visiting the main house, and Shannon realising her crush on him, and some discussions between the George Jessica and her. These 2 are very cute, unfortunately it seems that Eva wants to marry George with someone who would benefit them financially/bussiness wise.

and as such it leads me to the question. Did she marry like this? Was her marriage with Hideyoshi like this oooorrr....

(before this she says that she loves her husband a lot), ah i see. I mean it's not like this doesn't happen nowadays too, except instead of getting married and then falling in love it's more like getting together and then falling in love. Which is fine, but idk if in this world this is ideal, as i doubt divorce is that accepted lol. And also ofc cause we know George loves Sayo.

anyways Eva continues talking and then takes George away and then tells the girls they'll also find men they love but then leans in and whispers something so vile and malicious in Shannon's ear, that my computer crashed and i had to restart the game lmao.

after a lot of ctrl-ing this is what she says. Bad but i think my computer overexaggerated.

So Shannon feels like shit and is caught with her head in the clouds by Natsuhi who punishes her to clean the entire reception.

mayhaps i shouldn't have wondered so far lmao. (for context i was curious if Lanon was an actual character or was just gonna remain a name and then i kept seeing yasu and here i am lol)

this is what detroit become human and what i also assume nier automata (idk i only played the prologue) wished they could be.

huuuuuh??? So again this brings me back to my question, does magic actually exist? i think so. But maybe Shannon is imagining this and all those flashy bunny rabbits I see online are Kinzo's personal strippers, idk.

Holly shit guys, look! it's the witch!!

Also is this story very related to love? I didn't expect that, interesting. Maybe it's just this chapter or a sub-genre but idk ill see. Also she already has the ring on.

hmm is it really that simple? You know how they say, don't make a deal with the devil, this is how this feels.

Huh i can't believe all my questions have been answered. So this is why she broke the mirror, this is the wish and also the promise and also the magic. Makes sense.

Also wait i just had a thought. Does Shannon break the mirror each loop, or did by any chance Kanon break it last time. Because you remember he said before he died that she should wait "another 100 years in hell for the next summoner" and assuming this summons the witch...

*shakes* who is it????

hmmm this sounds...suspiciously similar to Eva. Is she saying this because she wants to intimidate her and convince her to break the mirror or is Eva somehow behind this?

and this is just the exact quote. Why is she quoting her? Just to remind her? And if she doesn't just wanna remind her and she just thinks this then why call Kinzo Father? Is she related to him? Me and my sis have talked about the possibility of her being somehow related to Kinzo, like a daughter thingy. I'm not sure, and i definitely don't have enough clues to figure it out rn but anyways. Kinda hard to fake all of this tbh.

Immediatly after this line Kanon comes in to save Shannon, and after some more talking Beatrice gives both of them a butterfly shaped burn/bruise mark on their left palms. She does that by controlling their hands, which immediately remembered me of the ending scene in the stageplay, where Shannon and Kanon "shoot" each other with their hands in the shape of a pistol. who knows. I obviously dont.

these things are getting longer and longer...

next part

[whenthechickencry]

Last Note of the Golden Witch Part 1

I forgot this episode starts with everyone giving out their opinion on tea, haha.

well ok jeez that's an escalation Ange.

Witch of the Piece is certainly an interesting title for anyone romantically involved with Rudolf, considering his view of women... In general the act of making Asumu a witch is interesting... to be a witch you must be someone with trauma, someone who found their life miserable enough to not want to live as a human anymore... but both of the narratives we have about Asumu are 1. Kyrie saying she's a cold manipulative bitch who got what she wanted and was therefore happy and 2. Rudolf and Battler thinking she was an innocent, naive, and stupid woman who wasn't even really aware of all the ways Rudolf was shitty towards her. Just the act of her being a witch goes against both of these narratives...

Witch of the Peace is kind of a goofy title haha Ange, what would that even be...

The switch between goofy, silly Piece and formal, calculating Piece is already pretty interesting. It immediately brought to mind how Kyriie would describe her ditziness as a persona for a person who is in actuality really smart and calculating. Though the goofy, insane Piece is instead implied to be the true persona here...

This episode get its own opening which is kind of funny because the normal opening for this version of the game already uses Flauros and Piece for it. Oh god, back to the Halloween party Kinzo. I remember thinking this game was a kind of cruel one to show to Ange, implying everything in the family would be good if she wasn't born, but it has been a while since I read it.

Well jeez, Battler of course not considering Sayo's there 3x, but that's not really relevant to this game board...

It's kind of interesting how they are handling this game board as it if was Beatrice's ie where the locked rooms need to be broken for the culprit to be able to act, but Piece being outside the Ushiromiya family while Rudolf is with Kyrie and Rudolf going outside to let her in is a hint in of itself...

Kyrie brings up that she can never trust Rudolf, Rudolf basically tells her to stfu, Kyrie keeps talking about how Rudolf makes her go insane and Rudolf decides to push the conversation sexual instead..

Maybe I am going insane with overthinking, but this implies to me Rudolf can understand the women around him are drowning in misery from his actions, but he doesn't see himself as the attacker causing them to happen.

Beatrice is quicker than the others to understand what erasing someone means.

It's kind of interesting how Piece's power is something that in reality is Rudolf's power... the ability to erase and replace the women around him for his own benefit. Feels like a bit of reclaiming of her trauma for Piece to have this power. You can tell Asumu was perfectly aware of how much of an awful human and misogynist Rudolf was...

This game also acts as a way for Ange, Battler, and Beatrice to all work together with each other and it is very cute, haha.

Ange can't be tricked by Piece since there was never any point in time where she saw Asumu as Kyrie's wife, of course.

Bullseye, Beatrice!

Well... I guess so... Though I wouldn't attribute that power to Asumu herself, really.

Tbh the fact that the game points out all the relevant questions is a little lame, especially since there's not that many people that existed throughout the entire series...

Aka she's actually only able to erase Kyrie and Ange.

Haha... seems Piece is betting on Ange and Battler arguing about Asumu's identity and role.

Loud incorrect buzzer Battler.

To be honest... I am a little confused about the details here exactly. Kinzo is dead by 1986, Beatrice, Shannon, and Kanon can be erased by Sayo having a different life trajectory.... what the fuck happened with Genji, though?

I guess it's possible Genji just fucking retired, also Piece just reveals she fucking hates Kyrie and Ange... directly challenging Battler's view of her as a completely motherly, naive, kind innocent figure. This game does seem specifically targeted at Battler's misconceptions of her...

Wow ok, Ange I couldn't think of someone more far away, but I suppose you of all people would struggle with this puzzle...

The fact Ange can summon Erika and resurrect them like she can with her family and still considers herself to be in some sort of connection with her makes me kind of happy... Her theory is really wrong but it skirts around most of the red truth and does take the heart heavily into consideration, just maybe the wrong heart haha. This shows how this mystery requires knowing the heart of someone Ange had no way of knowing.

Beatrice changes sprites and gets pissed at this and Battler scolds her for daring Ange to think of this game like he once thought about it, which is also very cute... seeing the characters post-8 is very interesting!

Piece gets the first real confirmation that Battler is serious about this. Battler is serious about seeing her heart. He already made the mistake of ignoring the heart until it was too late once, he doesn't want to do it again. This scene is definitely a highlight, and it's nice to see how much Battler

Disgusted with yourself for having very normal thoughts when stuck with someone like Rudolf, huh...

Tbh, I think it's kind of interesting how Ange in development seems to be somewhere between the end of EP8 and the epilogue we see... makes sense Ange's change into how she sees others wouldn't be an immediate thing she would never falter on.

This time Beatrice wants to be the person who accepts the heart of someone who can't freely give it away...

A-sumu just broke out the red and nearly gave away the answer to go on a huge rant about how she is so good at riddles, lmfao?

Also, I guess Piece is up to date with her Umineko readings, and she feels really guilty about her role in taking Battler away from the island and not helping Sayo when she could have, also she switches giving birth to Beatrice (metaphorically) and giving birth to Battler (literally) mid-sentence as a way of misdirection. It makes sense that Asumu feels... not great about the timing of when she gave birth considering all the issues it caused with it coinciding with Kyrie.

[rikeijo]

Today's translation #198

Go Yuri go!!! official fanbook, Yamamoto Sayo x Kubo Mitsuro interview

Part 4.

Kubo: My hometown is Sasebo in Nagasaki Prefecture, so in my previous works, I have already drawn characters from Kyushu. I thought that maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to draw such characters again. So just like that, one after the other, we were inserting [in the story] ideas that we ourselves selfishly could think about: "This is good!". And the moment when, at last, we have started to collect those ideas, happened during that trip. But we also had that conversation: "If we use miles that we collected, it will actually be a free trip!". Well, it wasn't really free at all (laugh).

Yamamoto: At that time, the project was in a suspended state. The truth is, companies that were involved in the Yuri!!! project have once completely changed. That's why, at that time, the situation was quite severe. Naturally, it wasn't even "maybe we will get the money, maybe we won't" level - we had to pay from our own pockets for our travels to do our research for Yuri!!!'s production, and my savings were melting away very quickly. We lost all prospects to get funds for the preparation stage of the project, because we were supposed to get that money after we started working on the screenplay, and I rejected all other job offers to focus on Yuri!!!, so I had no income. And that's why we were talking about the miles (laugh). However, I was absolutely sure that I won't let the project be cancelled. There was no other option left to make the project survive - I had to bring this project to new companies.

Kubo: I personally wasn't concerned with any of that at all. I was just thinking: "Even if the project gets cancelled, it won't be the end of the world. I'm having fun now, so everything's good". Looking back, it is true that at that time, the situation was very severe.

[Notes: This bit about finances may be confusing, but the way I understood it, is that they had sponsors/investors that promised them money they would be able to use to travel and do their research for the project, but in the end, the sponsors/investors left the project before giving them any money whatsoever. The result was that they had no funds for Yuri!!!, and in addition, Sayo had no private income at that time, so she had no choice, but to use her private savings.

Fandom politics ✨

Sometimes you see people commenting on Yuri!!!, that they should have been more explicit blah, blah... something something queerbait and making it all into 100% the creators' active choice, because they are clearly just fujos, too, but the reality is a director would have to be really extra rich to be able to finance their own anime, and therefore be completely free to do whatever they want... Like you can see in this part, and also the next, they rely on investors, and those investors can say anytime: "sorry, we don't like it/it's too risky/our priorities have changed, bye", depending on what's going on around that IP.

And because money is often the cause when nobody knows what's really going on, imo, IceAdo might have had similar problems even back in 2019, but because it's already owned by the production committee (and not the creators), they can't just take it somewhere else.]

[taintedevesayori]

⚰️ Diatober ⚰️

Day 12: Mother/Father | Prompts by @fruit-of-infidelity | Masterlist

“Hey, Sayo,” Shin called, entering the school library. 

“Hey,” she greeted, putting down her book. “How were your classes?”

“Boring. I thought you might be here. Entertain me.”

“Seriously?” She sighed, but was getting used to vampires demanding such things from her.

“You should take it as a compliment that I think you’re interesting enough to want your company.”

Was it a compliment or a hassle? She would never voice such a thought to his face. 

“How, exactly, am I supposed to entertain you? Besides, I’m trying to study. This is a library, after all.”

“Forget that, let’s go find something to do in town,” he grabbed her hand, dragging her away. 

She sighed but decided it would be more of a pain to fight it. She could just study later. 

The two ended up at a cafe since Sayo mentioned being hungry as they were wandering around town. She let him pick the place to ease his complaints. 

“I know you’ve never met them, but do you know who your parents are?” Shin asked as they waited for their food. 

“I don’t know much. Pretty much just their names.”

“And? It’s possible Nii-san and I knew them.”

She had never thought about that. It was possible the two had met her father. Why had she never asked them about this before? 

“Ryuu and Yori Kirochi.”

His eyes lit up in recognition. “I don’t know why I didn’t put it together before…Of course you’re the daughter of that guy. He caused a big uproar when he married that human girl. I never heard about them having a child, though. I wonder if Nii-san figured it out.”

“So you really did know them…?”

“Not well, but I knew of them.”

“You…know how to get to the demon realm, right?” She asked without thinking. “Could you…take me to where they lived?”

“It’s too dangerous,” he shook his head. 

Her expression fell. He had never seen her make a face like that before. It made him hesitate. He couldn’t have her roaming around where the disease had ravaged…but maybe he could do something else. 

“I’ll see if I can get something brought back to you,” he said, grabbing her hand.

“R-Really…?” She glanced up at him.

“Yeah…So don’t make that face anymore, got it?” He looked away.

She couldn’t help but smile. It was cute to see Shin acting a bit flustered, but she wouldn’t point it out even though a part of her wanted to tease him a little. 

“Thank you, Shin,” she squeezed his hand.

A few days later, Shin knocked on the door of her bedroom. 

“Hey,” she greeted. “What’s up?”

“I’ve got something for you,” he held out a wooden box.

“What’s this…?” She took it, fairly confused. 

“I asked a vampire to search your parents’ house and bring some stuff back for you. He said that part of the demon world is pretty desolate now, but he did get a couple of things. That box was in their house and so were the things inside it.”

“I see…Thank you so much, Shin. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“I’ll let you look through it,” he nodded before taking his leave.

She shut the door behind her as she went back into her room. Placing the box down, she sat at her desk. It was a beautiful wooden box with a flower design carved into it. When she opened the lid, the first things she saw were pieces of jewelry. There were a few necklaces and a ring, the jewels still sparkling. There was a small knife, elegantly crafted. As she sifted through the rest of the contents, there were a few other trinkets but at the very bottom of the box was a photo. 

She couldn’t understand why, but she found herself tearing up. The photo was of her parents, younger than the memory she had seen when she died. Her mother was hanging on his shoulders and he was holding the side of her face. They looked so happy. 

She smiled, holding the photo to her chest. She would have to do something to thank Shin.

Image made in neka

[tsuki-sennin]

Kamen Rider Jeanne! And Kamen Rider Aguilera! With Girls! Remix! Part 2!

I wanted to do the first one a while ago, but Tumblr very rudely wound up canning it and I spiraled into insanity. Anyways, here's part 2 like nothing happened~!

Spoilers, I guess...

-Ah yes, Yuriko Natsuki. Not to be confused with Yuriko Misaki or Yuriko Edogawa or Yuriko Yamamoto or Yuriko Yamaguchi or Yuriko from... a number of adult VNs, holy crap.

-Yeah fuck Black Satan! ...though to be fair, I did rather like your brother, Miss Titan, he was cool.

-Oh shit, Kanon! Hell yeah!

-Wow, why do you live in like... a villa?

-Jesus Christ, Akaishi kidnapped a goddamn baby to become a bridal sacrifice to a demon god. ...I uh, think we kinda glossed over that.

-That being said, I do not appreciate Hana's selfie cam, that'd give a terribly blurry angle.

-Oh shit, Hana mom.

-Hello, Sakura! Your wife is gone!

-Ah, yep! Electro Wave!

-I have to wonder, how did Black Satan's hierarchy shake up after the death of the Great Leader? General Shadow of course went on to lead Delza, but I can't imagine anybody

-"Ahhhhh, ok..."

-Hell yeah, we love to see it! Queens supporting queens!

-AHHHHHHH THAT'S A REFERENCE TO EIJI'S WORDS IN CROSSOVERS AHHHHHHHHH

-Thank you Akiko, that made my evening.

-Well gee Yuriko, you're creepy.

-Ah, yep! Miss Titan!

-Ohhhhh, in the creepy inner demon void.

-"I am thou, thou art I go with the creepy lady do it do it do it do it"

-Hana, homegirl.

-Izu found them.

-Poppy and Izu have a wonderful dynamic.

-Poppy Pipopapo has entered your computer and you can do nothing about it. Pray for mercy.

-Daaaaamn, unsuited action!

-Theeeeere they goes!

-Oh crap, Akiko's been got again.

-I see Black Satan doesn't have many women in its ranks.

-...come to think of it, I wonder if they considered Geddon to be the villain organization to bring back? I realize Tackle's a lot more important to the Female Rider archetype, but think about it. A mystic cult of demonic beastmen created and headed by an evil red demon guy with strong ties to mystic forces originating from South America. The Red Followers even outrank the Beastmen, it's pretty easy pickings!

-Anyways WOOOOOOO GO REIKA GO GIRLBOSS I LOVE YOU YOU'RE SO COOOOOOL

-OOOOOOH NOT EVEN LOOKING THAT TIME

-Hello, Izu!

-Ooooooh, didn't even raise a hand!

-"Pffft... not a Kamen Rider... I ride Ryuu-kun all the time!"

-Thank you, Chief, your services are deeply appreciated.

-Ohhhhhh, Sawa-san!

-I knew you were in this, but I didn't know you were kicking ass too!

-...Akiko, how the fuck do you know Takigawa by name?

-She was in an alternate world by the time most of the Riders who even met Sento and could've told Philip and Shotaro about it.

-I realize Build's ending was a reset button and that Sawa's both a famous journalist and close friends with somebody in Japan's government, I know that, but what the fuck?

-OH SHE'S THE CLIENT OKAY

-Sawa, how the fuck do you know Black Satan?

-Like, I'm not doubting your abilities at all, far be it from somebody whose only experience with infiltrating conspiracies was as Solid Snake, Sam Fischer and Garret to have a full opinion on that, but like

-How? You were one of my favorite characters in Build as a refreshing take on female sidekicks from earlier in the Heisei era, and now I just desperately wanna see an Ultra Q-style series chronicling your misadventures exposing evil organizations and kicking ass.

-Do I sound like I'm angry, because I swear I'm not, I'm just very impressed.

-Oh yeah, Kanon's here too! Hello!

-OH YOU KNOW THE GANMA TOO

-Damn, Sawa, what else are you hiding from us?! Are you a Gate? An Agito?

-Aki, do you know Dr. Sayo Oharu? Cause that's a mood.

-"I am the EEEEEEVIL Hana! Y'know your eboy brother Kagerou? Yeah, I'm kinda like that."

-Noooooooo, Hana-san! :(

-Slayin' with Queen Bee! ...evil edition.

-DON'T BELIEVE MYSELF OH MY GOD

-Aguilera Dark's a really nice recolor, love how the black stands against the white and silver.

-Turtle Bazooka!

-Oh, we're naked.

-Yeah Hana!

-Oooogh, right in the chest.

-Ah, we win.

-"Don't leave me again"

-Congrats women, you win!

-Kuroi Yuriko, gotcha.

-Miss Titan!

-OHHHHH SHIT MOTHER

-Oh yeah, Riot in Bloom fucks.

-I uh... don't mean to put too fine a point on it, but this is an absolute banger and Yui Asakura should be proud.

-Gracias.

-OH YEAH GIRLS

-TSUKUYOMIIIIIIIII

-HELL YEAH, LET'S GO

-Ah, so... Miss Titan is extremely creepy, gotcha.

-That denim vest is absolutely working for you, girl.

-Anyways, can't wait for Part 3, I really want Toei to keep going with these awesome female Riders the way they do with their Sentai heroines.

[animaniachan]

ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ᴘʀᴏꜰɪʟᴇꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ʀɪʀᴜʜᴀᴘɪ, ᴏɴᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀ ᴄᴀᴘᴘᴇʟʟᴀ ɢʀᴏᴜᴘꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀᴏᴘᴘᴇʟʟᴀ!

ꜰʏᴀ’ᴍ’ ᴘᴏꜱᴛ ʜᴇʀᴇ

ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛ ᴍʏ ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ! ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪꜱ ᴀ ꜰᴏʀᴍ ᴏꜰ ᴘʟᴀɢɪᴀʀɪꜱᴍ! ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ Qᴜɪᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇꜰꜰᴏʀᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ꜱᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ! ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ɪᴛ ᴏʀ ɴᴏᴛ, ɪ’ᴠᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ꜰᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀʏ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀꜱᴛ.

ʟᴀꜱᴛʟʏ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴏꜱᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴀʀᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇꜱᴛᴇᴅ! ᴀʟꜱᴏ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴀᴅᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ɪɴꜰᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏʏꜱ!

ᴇᴅɪᴛ: ʏ’ᴀʟʟ ɪᴅᴋ ᴡʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴɪɴɢ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ɪꜱ ᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ ꜱᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ɪᴍᴍᴇᴅɪᴀᴛᴇʟʏ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴡᴇɪʀᴅ ᴇᴅɪᴛꜱ. ꜱᴏ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ, ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ’ꜱ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ᴅᴏ. ɪ’ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪx ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ʟɪᴋᴇ 30 ᴍɪɴꜱ ɴᴏᴡ ᴛᴛ

•

riruhapi’s name can also be translated into lil’ happy. but since idk if the devs meant this translation i’m just gonna leave it as the original katakana pronunciation.

otowa high is a metropolitan high school meaning that it is directly governed by the state. metropolitan in japanese is “toritsu” this is also where the name team toritsu or toritsu-gumi comes from when referring to riruhapi and “shiritsu” on the other hand, means “private school” and that’s why team shiritsu or shiritsu-gumi is used to refer to fya’m’

otowa high is a metropolitan high school meaning that it is directly governed by the state. metropolitan in japanese is “toritsu” this is also where the name team toritsu or toritsu-gumi comes from when referring to riruhapi and “shiritsu” on the other hand, means “private school” and that’s why team shiritsu or shiritsu-gumi is used to refer to fya’m’

edit: from now on, otowa will be referred to as a public high school based on the english official translation! just to clarify, the reason i didn’t initially translate it to “public” is because public is usually referred as “kouritsu” 公立 in japanese instead of “toritsu” ���立 so it was semi-confusing TT

the two emblems/logos you see at the top left of riruhapi’s image is of their school emblem and group logo respectively. top one is school logo, bottom is group logo.

Suzumiya Hajime:

“my-pace” is essentially a term used to describe people who does things at their own pace without being considerate of others around them. in hajime’s case, he often causes some trouble to others by being so my-paced.

his name is hajime (means “the beginning” in japanese) because his birthday is 1/1

he’s in class 2-D

his favourite food is miso

his hobby is watching game livestreams and he’s a big fan of a streamer named “zou” (the name also means “elephant” in japanese)

what he likes about a cappella: all of it

others introduce him as the following:

he’s unbelievably directionally challenged

he’s super duper good at singing

and he looks at his smartphone way too much

a word to his group members: “from now on, let’s do our best together!”

Tanba Rin:

his name is actually a pun—can’t figure it out? repeat it a few times in your head and you’ll see :))

the third section of his translations which includes the “clown” and his “comebacks” refers to the typical japanese comedy style of “boke” and “tsukkomi.” you see a lot of it in japanese comedians and manzai where one person intentionally acts dumb and air headed so the other can reprimand them as a joke.

he’s in class 2-D

his favourite foods are ramen, beef bowls, fast food, and basically food that he can gobble down a lot at once

his hobby is bike touring

what he likes about a cappella: it feels good to be able to sing loudly and it’s fun to do things like this with everyone

others introduce him as the following:

he works the same part-time with maito

he’s the most fashionable in his group

his tsukkomi’s are smooth af

a word to his group members: “i’ll never get bored when i’m around you guys!”

Kariyazono Michitaka:

he’s in class 1-C

his favourite foods are milk, dairy products, and all dishes that use milk in them

his hobby is randonneuring (but by himself)

what he like about a cappella: we can make people smile with our singing

others introduce him as the following:

he helps at his dad’s shop and cares about his family a lot

he wants to drink latte art someday

you would want an older brother like him

a word to his group members: “it’ll be great if we can keep singing forever and ever with these members...!”

Shihou Luka:

luka’s last line in his character dialogue is translated to “i’ll always be watching over you” but the original japanese phrases means more like “i’ll always be watching you” if translated directly. even if it’s not meant to sound creepy, it kind of does when directly translated over so therefore i added the “over.” but basically think of it like he’ll always have his eyes on you (non-creepy ofc :p)

he’s in class 1-A

his favourite food is the vegetable-filled blt that his father makes

his hobby is going to the gym

what he likes about a cappella: he can come closer to being his ideal self through the support from everyone

others introduce him as the following:

the smiling prince

he’s kind of an airhead

he worries about calories way too much

a word to his group members: “singing in front of other people, this was something my past self could’ve never imagined...it’s thanks to all to you, thank you.”

Soenji Sayo:

when referring to sayo’s “overwhelming behaviours due to his wealthy family background,” i’m pretty sure it doesn’t mean that he acts like a spoiled brat. in this context, it’s more so referring to how he does unthinkable actions (like calling a helicopter to help search for a missing cat or smtg idk) for everyday trivial problems.

sayo refers to his twin brother as “asaharu-niisan” because due to japanese culture, even if they are twins, there are instances where the younger one refers to the older one as “older brother/sister.” and sayo respects the hell out of asaharu hence “niisan” with the “san” honorific

sayo’s name means “rainy night” in japanese where asaharu’s name means “sunny morning”

he’s in class 2-D

his favourite food is french cuisine (the specific dish name is too long)

his hobbies are visiting airfields (to fly planes I assume???) and reading

what he likes about a cappella: he can make the audience happy by giving form to his emotions with the people he likes

others introduce him as the following:

knowledgeable

occasionally air-headed

he can actually do kado (japanese flower arrangement)

a word to his group members: “the high school life that i’ve experienced with everyone is one of the most precious treasures in my life.”

[toukenramblings]

Child Saniwa: Tsurumaru Kuninaga, Kasen Kanesada, Hachisuka Kotetsu

It’s meme time

Warnings: None???

Tsurumaru Kuninaga:

“Yo, I’m Tsurumaru Kuninaga. Are you surpr- what?” “......” “Why is there a child here?”

The minute Tsurumaru finds out that you, his saniwa, is a literal baby, he immediately begins to sign the adoption papers. Damn it all, he failed to protect a child int he past and there’s no damn way is he going to fuck this up this time!

A part of him was ready to fucking kick down the doors of the government though, ready to scream at them for sending a child into battle. Yes during times of war, such a thing can happen, but the modern world is different? Besides, what is ever wrong with the idea of letting a kid be a kid?

Tsurumaru is a bad influence, spoils the lil tiny kid saniwa rotten. THey ask something from him? Of course he’ll give it to them. Candy? Always has it in his long sleeves somewhere. A hug? Immediately will carry the lil tiny child around without hesitation.

If aNYONE looks at his charge the wrong way, expect a sword to their throat immediately and a very miffed off crane, “Oh ho, do you have something to say to them? Why don’t you say it to me?” yes he will threaten the president or some other government big wig. Don’t fucking test him.

Seeing them smile is what makes Tsurumaru beam more than anything. it almost reaffirms his vow to protect them as long as he still lives and breathes. In battle, Tsurumaru is focused yes, but most of all he wants to return to them. Gods forbid anyone getting hurt and the little one is in tears. No way will he ever let them fall.

It warms his heart when the lil Saniwa gets along with the rest of the swords, especially the Dategumi. It’s like having permanent baby sitters working around the clock for the lil one. He’ll probably cry if he sees Sada-chan and the lil saniwa cuddling together just napping.

Will also start sobbing if the said saniwa calls Tsurumaru their big bro/dad. Tells them to always call him that from now on.

Expect Tsurumaru to always be causing little tickle fights with the saniwa! He wants to see them smile, to hear them laugh! He will surprise them, appearing out of nowhere to scare them and maybe with a lil batch of treats to smooth it over. He’s not trying to scare them to death! No! He adores them!

Tsurumaru can and will be found cuddling with the little kid during nappy time, holding them oh so close to his chest, almost hissing at anyone who tries to take them away from him.

Tsurumaru cannot help but thank the gods, and fate for this second chance of protecting a little one. He was only a sword back then, unable to do anything. But now? Oh, every time the little saniwa smiles at him and clings on to his big white coat, the crane swears it to the spirits and his own lifeforce that he will protect them better this time.

Kasen Kanesada

“It is quite the pleasure to meet you, maste- oh?”

“....”

“.....What have I gotten myself into?”

Now Kasen is pretty decent with kids, he isn’t terrible as he can deal with Sayo, but dealing with a lil saniwa like this causes him to pause. What had he gotten himself into this time? How would this affect their relationship? If Kasen is the starter sword of the little one, then Kasen would obviously feel a much stronger need to protect them.

If Tsurumaru is the enabler, then Kasen is the responsible parent. He ensures they go to bed on time, eating the right meals, dressed properly for the occasion, so on and so forth! Yes he will melt under their puppy eyes and eventually give in to their whims, but Kasen does have his limits. Ever so gently will he scold them, wiping away any tears they shed. 

Like Tsurumaru, Kasen will also hold little snacks in his pockets for them. Probably fruit compared to like candy but if the little one is a good kid he’ll slip them something sweet from Azuki. Has to stop the other swords from spoiling the little one rotten as well, even if he has to drag Tsurumaru away from them.

Whenever Kasen has to leave for a mission and has to leave the little one’s side, he leaves behind a poem and a note for them to cheer them up. In fact, his notes/poems are almost a frequent occurrence!

While Tsurumaru will full on bear hug his little saniwa, Kasen will mostly give little head pats. If they are desperate however, then he will give them a hug. It’s gentle, not at all suffocating. He would rub their back and maybe ruffle their hair a lil bit.

While Kasen is indeed protective, he won’t suddenly press a blade to the throat of the enemy...yet. His anger simmers before exploding, snidely making a quip about their lack of intelligence before threatening to kill them with his bare hands. He won’t lie and say that he isn’t angry at the government for having such a young one in the face of danger. They remind him of Sayo and how the tantou never got to be...well, himself.

Kasen is stern and strict yes, but he is not without method to his madness. He wants his lil saniwa to grow and become an elegant, proud, and move forward. He knows that he may not always be by their side and he worries of that day when he leaves them. He wants to spend much more time with them in his own way. It doesn’t have to be with words, it can just be existing together in the same space.

Kasen works a lot, and when the little saniwa asks him to relax, it’s very obvious that he is reluctant to do so. He has so much to do! The citadel needs him! But he will cave under their lil pouty face and sighs, agreeing to a nap with them in his arms. Expect the others to take pictures of this.

Kasen can and will cry if they refer to him as a big brother/father, compared to the outright crying of Tsurumaru, Kasen’s tears and sniffles can be seen but he won’t start bawling just yet. Pride does bloom within his chest and while Tsurumaru will ask them to always refer to him with the title of big bro/dad, Kasen will want to be referred to by his name or the big brother title. It will take some getting used to but he’ll fall into that routine.

Kasen fusses over the lil one over the smallest things. IF they trip and fall and hurt themselves? Kasen is by their side with a band-aid and ready to fight God. Can and will fight the time government by sending them letters to utterly burn them to the point they could never hope to recover from his words. Or just straight up kick down the door to an office and demand to see whoever the fuck is in charge.

Hachisuka Kotetsu

“I am Hachisuka Kotetsu, the true authentic-”

“....”

“??????????’

Hachisuka takes one good luck at this lil kid of a saniwa and he is confused. Why? How? What? Where? When? Though as he has experience of being a big brother, he will gently bend down to their height, questioning them oh so gently. Yes he is just as confused as they are, but Hachisuka will take it in stride. If Hachisuka is the saniwa’s starter sword, he will feel an immediate urge to protect them of course!

Sure he can handle Urashima but a whole ass child? Is there a manual for this???? Urashima, help! When he does have advice from other swords on how to take care of a kid, Hachisuka will dedicate himself to them.

Found taking pictures of the saniwa and Urashima getting along, no Hachisuka is not crying. What are you taLKING ABOUT

Compared to Kasen and Tsuru who are found crying when the saniwa refers to them as dad/big brother, Hachisuka is almost proud of it. “Of course, there is nothing I can’t do after all! If I will become family to my master, then so be it!” inwardly sobbing though.

If Tsurumaru is the enabler, and Kasen is the strict parent, then Hachisuka is the big brother who is trying his damn best. He is strict like Kasen but will submit to their will and ultimately spoil them in the end.

Can and will keep his lil saniwa away from Nagasone, but will relent if the saniwa adores his brother too. That won’t mean he’ll keep a close eye on them whenever they are together, worried about them. Maybe he’s worried about Nagasone too? He won’t admit it though.

If anyone threatens this tiny lil child of a saniwa, he immediately hands them over to Nagasone and Urashima, rolling up his damn sleeves and is ready to beat some ass. Nagasone has to hold him back though. It does mean Hachisuka can and will get into a shouting match with the fucker though.

Is that one father who does nothing but brag about the achievements of their child, proudly displaying their awards and adorable pictures of them for all to see! Has an entire photo album of the lil saniwa and their achievements, full of their smiles and they make him sob.

His affection isn’t as physical as Kasen or Tsurumaru. It’s soft headpats, sometimes awkward. But Hachisuka does care for them, tucking a lock of their hair behind their ear, telling them that he is proud of them, and bringing them into a gentle hug.

Hachisuka will carry the lil saniwa to bed and it’s during those times of quiet and peace where Hachisuka will think. Like Kasen, both purple haired warriors will appreciate these silent moments. As he strokes their head to sleep, Hachisuka knows that their time is limited. None the less, to be the best parental/familial figure this lil saniwa has ever had, he will do his best!

[shintorikhazumi]

A Real Girl Chapter 2: Feelings 2.0

A/N: Just like my other story in LWA (that I can’t focus on huhuhu), I’m composing this update while in the hospital, watching over my dad. There isn’t any internet so I guess I can focus quite a bit haha. I feel like the pacing of this chapter is off, or awkward somehow? I should’ve extended the first chapter more. Welp, too late for that. I guess I’m trying to expand the background information on how this universe works? It’s quite close to canon-verse where Sayo used to not really get along with everyone, and slowly improving lately, but tailored to the Sayo of this story??? I’m braindead, I’m sorry hahaha.

Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi

  A Real Girl Chapter 2: Feelings 2.0

  Sayo did not like having feelings.

It wasn’t that she hated all the mushy drama that came alongside it. It wasn’t that she particularly disliked the anxiety of having negative- and even positive- feelings. No, it wasn’t that at all.

She simply didn’t fancy the complications it brought to her practical lifestyle. She had yet to fathom such things, and more often than not, her system could not process the actions and reactions brought about by emotions. Moments when she did try only ended up in the usual overheating, and sometimes confusion and jumble of information running through her head, always rendering her unable to organize the sensory data she was receiving from her body.

She just couldn’t seem to handle all that. It was a system overload.  Something she couldn’t hope to control. And control was what she understood she needed; control over this life of hers. If she could not contain the wild horses that were feelings, she could not live her life to its realest, most authentic capacity. That was what she believed. And she believed that Sayo Hikawa was incapable of having feelings.

-//-//-//-//-

  The dinner that followed her regular meeting with her parents had been… fine, Sayo supposed. It wasn’t all that awkward. To her it wasn’t, at the very least. She tried to scan her other family members for any signs indicative of discomfort, and upon finding nothing unusual, she had released a small sigh of relief that did not go past her surprisingly perceptive sister.

Hina then asked her if anything was wrong, to which she would reply her usual assurances; that she was fine and there was nothing to worry about, offering a calm smile before proceeding to eat her food to hopefully signal to the younger twin that this particular conversation was over.

Hina understood and seemed willing to relent, dropping any plans of further interrogation. She instead turned to her parents, continuing one of her many ridiculous tales. This one happened to be of how she may or may not have tried to convince the school principal to go bungee jumping with her off the school’s highest building, which was probably what had been the cause of this week’s call to the office for her parents.

Sayo felt her facial muscles work to form a small smile outside her manual prompting. Something deep down inside told her it was because she was amused with her younger sister’s antics. Quite an uncommon occurrence as Hina’s antics were usually nothing short of headache-inducing.

“Feeling quite cheery, aren’t we Sayo?” Her father piped up, noticing the smile on his eldest daughter’s face. Albeit miniscule to some, to her family and friends, it was a clear indicator that Sayo was in a pleasant mood, and that made them happy as well.

For some reason, having her whole family’s attention on her made her feel warm. Warmer than “normal”. Oh, this was troublesome. Sayo had been having these heat flushes far too often lately, it truly was messing with her system.

“N-no? I… or, yes, I… I suppose I am not in a foul mood, Father.” She responded, rigid as ever, but with a stutter she inwardly cursed at. Was she experiencing lag?

Despite her words, her family had gotten used to her responses and translated it as a positive ‘yes’. That was good enough in their books.

The rest of dinner remained clear of any suspense, and each Hikawa was grateful for that.

Hina had volunteered to tidy up the kitchen afterwards as their parents were preparing to take their leave, so Sayo was left with the task of seeing the pair off by the door.

…

There were a few moments of tense silence as Sayo watched her parents. Her father avoided her gaze by leaning down to tie his shoelaces, the action taking a little too long compared to the average time; while her mother was the complete opposite, staring a little too intently back at her. She didn’t know what to make of this situation. Her sensors picked up body language cues that translated to them having something they still wanted to say before leaving, but the longer they took to make even a squeak, the more Sayo wondered if they were all just burning away the precious seconds that could have been spent on safe travel for her parents, and dedicated guitar practice for Sayo. She would have preferred spending her time wisely, even if it was a Saturday night. She had band practice tomorrow, after all.

“Sayo-“ Her father had finally began, reaching a hand up above the said girl’s head. Sayo felt her heartrate pick up, eyes glued to the motion, waiting, before her father retracted it back to his side. The action brought about a physical weight increase in Sayo’s chest area, and she almost asked her father about it; but the question died before even leaving her mouth, a different hand catching her off-guard.

Her mother had cupped her cold cheek with her warm hand, eyes glistening somewhat, searching for something Sayo could not figure out.

“Mother?”

A beat of silence.

“We really do love you.” The older woman whispered, still looking into Sayo’s eyes, still searching, not knowing if she’d find what she sought. “We really do.”

Sayo had no idea how to respond to the sudden affection, and simply nodded her head silently. What she did know was that what had previously weighed in her chest seemed lighter, though not completely gone-

That familiar large, calloused hand that belonged to her father- it now lay on her head, patting a few times before his thumb stroked the top of her head, then swept across her forehead, moving her fringe aside for a moment to clearly display her surprised face. The weight had completely dissipated, and Sayo would admit that she was slightly in awe, and curious as to if this was part of whatever update had taken place, and if her parents had a new manual for her to read so that she could better understand and control all these odd mishaps with her body as of late. They hadn’t really made those in recent developments, only verbally instructing and vaguely explaining to Sayo functions she could and could not perform.

Her musings were cut short by the words she was still getting used to.

“We love you and…” The man she labelled as her father started, “We’re sorry we’re late”. She felt her brows furrow, a wrinkle forming between her eyes.

“What do you-“ Before Sayo could even ask what those words had meant, Hina’s familiar singsong voice had interrupted the exchange.

“Huh? Why are you guys still here?” Seeing as she was now here, Sayo inferred that the Kitchen and dining room had been cleaned up, and that they had lingered by the doorway for far longer than she thought.

The ribboned girl looked between her parents and sister, confused at the atmosphere shrouding them.

“S-sorry, sweetheart. Just had a lot of things to remind your sister.” Mr. Hikawa smiled, moving forward to wrap his younger daughter in a hug. “You know, reminding her to take care of you, and not overwork herself.”

“Oh yeah, Onee-chan does that a lot.” Hina agreed, seemingly buying it. “I do try to tell her to have fun and stuff, but she never listens!”

“You never listen to the voice of common sense, either.” Sayo quipped. “And your idea of fun is fairly life-threatening.” She whispered the last part to herself.

“Anyway! We also had to talk the usual budget for you guys, and just… stuff.” Their father finished the little white lie fabulously.

“Right!” Hina nodded, believing every word… probably.

With a cough from their mother, Hina escaped her father’s hold and gave the eldest woman a gentle, but enthusiastic embrace.

Once over and done with Hina’s affectionate goodbye’s, the Hikawa couple bid their daughters a farewell, leaving hand in hand until their figures escaped Sayo’s line of sight.

Breaking out into a sigh, Sayo locked the door behind her as the twins headed for their respective rooms to retire for the night.

Sayo felt dissatisfaction stir within her. She had so many questions she wanted answered when she found that it was time for her parents’ regular visit, but now that they had left, she had even more than what she started with instead of less as she had planned.

Mumbling her goodnight to her sister, she closed the door to her room with a silent click.

Unlike her usual graceful manner of carefully sitting or laying down on her bed, Sayo had unceremoniously plopped face-first into the soft mattress, once more unknowing of the reasons as to why she performed this action.

Something was off with her lately. Even more-so after these last few updates. She seemed to be dancing to subconscious promptings, acting with less thought and calculation than she usually would- should, according to everything that was initially written in her learning manual.

She had thought her parents would spot these errors without her having to mention it, but somehow it seems things had only gotten worse.

The way the two were acting towards her lately only further supplemented her confusion. All these ‘we love you’s were not something she was used to, at all. She had only begun to get comfortable with Hina’s overbearing affection the past few months, and now her parents were being… odd.

Burrowing her face into a pillow, Sayo found herself thinking back to her past as a child. She had always known that there was a difference between her and Hina. There was a difference between how her parents addressed her, and how they fawned over her younger sister.

She recalled the stiff interactions, the formal instructions, the commands, the rare, but still awkward praises when she accomplished tasks she was supposed to better than expected, and the… times she would look on from afar as her sister received what she later on learned to be “hugs” from their parents.

Something she never had the pleasure of receiving as a small child. At least from them. Hina- bless her soul, Sayo would now say- was the only one willing to ‘teach’ her these things. Other kids at school never bothered to interact with her either. She was too expressionless, too scary, too serious, too-

Too Unhuman.

She would’ve laughed had it not been such a hurtfully accurate notion.

In comparison to her experiences, through clear lens, Sayo observed that Hina and their parents communicated with warmth; how the girl was guided with affection and encouragement, and lifted up due to her sheer genius.

In all honesty, Sayo had to admit she envied Hina then, that genius she had. She sometimes pondered the thought of being programmed to perfection, without flaw, weakness, or struggle. Would that have made her a genius too, at least in the eyes of normal men? Would that have earned her praise even if it wouldn’t matter to a freedom-less girl like her? -Was she even a girl at this point?

She might not be.

Still, she envied it quite a bit. Yes, the fact that Hina was a genius was what she was jealous of, nothing more.

She had read on it in an article once; how children could often feel jealous if attention and care were not distributed fairly by parents, leading to feelings of neglect and lack of relational connections. Had Sayo been a normal girl, maybe this would’ve been so; however, she believed that it would not apply to someone like her… someone like her… something like her…?

After all, there… was no reason for her to desire anything like love, adoration, or care, was there? Being able to perform as she was designed to, being able to do what she had to- those were what mattered in this “familial” relationship between her and her parents.

Right?

…

Rolling onto her belly, she stared up at her ceiling, body not up to the usual task of devoted guitar playing for tonight, it seemed.

She sighed.

Blinking once, twice, she noticed and remembered that up on her ceiling were glow-in-the-dark stars that Hina had insisted to put up in Sayo’s room, along with a lone crescent moon that paired with Hina’s sun in her own quarters. For some reason, she couldn’t help but compare that to their own social situations at the moment.

If people were stars, Hina belonged with the stars as the sun was still a star. It might be more prominent and more known to most inhabitants of the earth, just as Hina was someone popular to many, even to strangers; but still, she was one of them. Even if she had to shine alone in the morning sky, people still knew she was- and still grouped her as- one of the stars. She was most definitely a star too.

Sayo, however, could not relate. Hina had told her she was the moon, and even if it tries to shine alongside the stars, it will not- and never be- a star. And in the moon’s moments, where the city lights drown out all the stars, even the moon’s shine is dulled and it is truly alone; and though it is seen on the same stage, in the same night sky, no matter how much it would try to blend in with the crowd… it would never be a star.

Sayo would never be a star.

Another sigh. A toss. A turn.

Again, her line of thinking drifted to the changes she and her family seemed to be going through. Somehow, she found life somewhat easier back when everything had been so professional. It may have seemed like she was neglected and alone, but such negativities could be adapted to, could be grown out of. Sayo could simply get used to it, suck it up like the mature person she was, and move on. Or at least that’s how it was to the outside onlooker. To Sayo, it was just normal for there to be distance. She wasn’t really a part of their family.

She wouldn’t be able to understand it anyway.

So why did everything have to take a turn?

Actually… When did everything suddenly take a turn?

Was it when she had first met Yukina? Was it as Roselia progressed into a proper band? Or was it when they became friends, bound by music, never to be broken apart?

Was it when Lisa stepped up to help her with Hina after Sayo had gone too far with her distancing? The gentle hand on her back, drawing circles as the brunette listened intently to her confusion and woes, and taught her a little bit more about what relationships were? Was it that?

Sayo had no clue.

One day, everything just seemed to morph; her reality was changing. The improvement of her relationship with Hina may have marked the most significant wave of change. Sayo found herself able to decipher her constant home companion bit by bit. She could guess what the girl was up to, she could figure out her moods, and keep up with her whims (she hoped).

Then suddenly, her parents showed up more often than the usual check-ups. They listened intently during Sayo’s parent-teacher conferences, they no longer constantly reminded her of their expectations for her, they would actually send her messages outside the usual appointment updates, or information briefing, or requests. They would tell her how they saw a guitar model that Sayo might like; texted her that if she wanted anything for Christmas, she could tell them.

She would catch her mother’s stare many times, before the woman offered her a nervous, or kind smile. Her father would constantly ask her about her preferences for updates.

And what unnerved her most of all, was the fact that they had been offering her physical affection (sure they were limited to pats, touches, or handholds, but it was odd enough) and constant “we love you”s. Something they used to only do in public setting to show that the family was on good terms with one another.

-not saying that they weren’t, because Sayo deemed that her being alive was enough proof that they were on good terms.

…such a scary thought, she now realizes.

Anyhow, it just so happened that even in private, her parents were now actively performing those aforementioned acts towards Sayo. Were they trying to build rapport with her? Trying to get on her good side? She had no complaints about their relationship in the past, so why did they have to try to change it up now?

And of course, the thing that bothered her the most… feelings.

Suddenly, the “feelings” prompts in her mind were no longer just emptily flashed words of alert with instructions on how she should act. They now did all these odd reactions to her body, made her lose her control, put errors in her usual calculations.

She didn’t know whether she liked it or not.

There was something within her whispering that this was what she wanted. Because it made her real, or at least pretend to be…

But her practical mind told her it would only serve to continue to burden her. This, she truly believed.

If that were so, why couldn’t she have it removed? Whatever program in her that involved these dreaded feelings? Her parents had told her she could always express her desires when it came to her recent upgrading. She was told she could ask for anything. So why wouldn’t she ask for one simple removal? One that would solve all her current distress, and quite possibly benefit her by giving her the efficient life she wanted?

She didn’t know.

She didn’t know why she was trying to cling to fragments of a false reality, a world where she wasn’t what she was. A lie in which… she was a real girl.

She just didn’t know.

And to these thoughts, her world shut down.

  -//-//-//-//-//-//-

  It was the weekend; what most students considered their free time- time to waste, time to slack off. They simply had so much time, away from the usual school day. And simply having this much time was all the more reason for Roselia to spend it on practice instead.

Sayo arrived early. She always did. It was part of her internalized time-table. She had one for almost all occasions. For school, for weekends with student council work, and without. Today, her schedule consisted of waking up, preparing breakfast, washing up and getting dressed. Then she would eat, get on the seven-forty-five train, arrive at circle and ask for the reserved room, grab a sweetened coffee by the vending machine, down it in ten, and enter the practice area to tune her guitar and do warm-ups until everyone else arrived. Everything she did was performed on the dot, down to the very last second.

There were days where tiny deviations from her predicted happenings occurred, but nothing that would throw her off completely. They sometimes came in the form of any other member arriving earlier than her. In the case of Minato Yukina, she guessed it wouldn’t be all that odd. At the beginning, they would simply regard one another with a small nod before continuing onto their individual warm-ups. As Roselia’s relationship improved however, they often exchanged small talk, or opinions on the band and each other’s personal progress, seeking advice. If it were Ako who got there before Sayo, she would only pray that nothing was out of place, and that there were no soda spills on the carpets. She’d rather not have a repeat of one certain incident.

Rinko and Lisa were rarely the first people in the studio. Sayo dealt with is as it came. They would offer greetings and pleasantries, and focus on warm-ups, and that was it.

Or well, that was then.

It came little by little, but things were certainly different now. There were days when Sayo would come in just a few seconds before an Ako barreled right into her, apologizing, but not letting go without a quick hug around Sayo’s waist, and irresistible puppy eyes that almost always asked Sayo to pat her head before the younger girl would break out into a grin, satisfied, and ready to warm up. She really did remind Sayo of all the videos of dogs she’d watch out of some form of habit, possibly; filling up a personal database file all on their own.

Rinko, she-…

Well, she wasn’t as scared of Sayo anymore. That could be noted as some sort of improvement. It wasn’t as if they never got along before, but work in the student council felt just a tad bit more relaxing, and quite enjoyable lately, if Sayo were to be honest. Rinko was like a breath of fresh air amongst everyone else’s eccentricities- including those other band girls outside their own.

Then… there was a pair that had suddenly been throwing her for a loop.

Minato Yukina and Imai Lisa. One so cold and aloof, avoided like a harsh winter day; and the other heated and sociable, passionate in dance and music like the summer… At least, that was how Sayo saw them at the beginning.

It came as sudden as all the other surprises in Sayo’s present life. Sayo spotted a silver songstress on her knees in a hidden corner of the park, leaning down towards a tiny kitten in what she saw was a shared eskimo kiss. She felt a stall between the beats of her heart. And it became a memory she’d never forget, sometimes replaying itself in her moments of slumber. Sayo realized that Yukina wasn’t just the snow, she was also the spring that came in turn right after.

The bassist, on the other hand, proved to also be the fall. A beauty to behold, making you forget the coldness it actually had. Lisa had days where she would doubt herself; days where her silence would issue warning sirens in Sayo’s poor confused system, prompting her to offer gauche comfort- the only kind she could manage in her uncertainty.

It didn’t help that the girl wore the scent of cinnamon and pumpkin spice pie, and all the sweet little guilty pleasures hardwired into Sayo’s poor mind (It was a weakness she would never admit to- she wondered if her parents added such a detail in the blueprint for personal amusement); and the fact that she’d casually offer an embrace that caused those fragrances to overwhelm the stiff guitarist was an additional trigger, along with a Yukina who smelled of vanilla and cookies- though the latter was probably just due to the crumbs from Lisa’s treats that the unexpectedly clumsy leader of Roselia got all over herself.

She often tried to ignore the way Lisa would cling to her and Yukina’s arms as they walked to or from the studio, or to a gig; she would try to ignore the warmth that suddenly spread from the point of contact between them to her entire body. She would also ignore the jitters and “flutters” she would feel when her eyes would meet Yukina’s mid-song, and the tiniest of smiles would play on the singer’s lips and- was that a wink, Minato Yukina?!

It irked Sayo that almost everything she had gotten used to and inputted into her data bank of memories over the course of her seventeen- eighteen years of existence were slowly changing; herself and Hina, their parents, and now, even Roselia and the rest of their girls’ band peers. Heck- even the students at school had begun to greet Sayo as she monitored the halls (which was already quite the feat, as they usually screeched or shuffled their merry way out of hers), even when she wore her usual- as Lisa and Hina so fondly called- “resting bitch face”; stoic and devoid of emotion.

How could everything just be so confusing-

“..yo? Sayo! Sayo?”

Ah. This voice sounded plenty confused as well.

“Sayo, is something the matter?”

A hand on her shoulder, and another in a worried clasp around her bicep, pulling her to spin around, face-to-face with furrowed green eyes almost matching her own.

Had she been lost in thought?

“Imai…san.” Sayo regarded with a slow nod, each syllable carefully spoken.

A hand shot out to touch her forehead, accompanied by the concerned question of, “Are you sick?”.

Well, good morning to you as well, Imai-san.

Despite the lack of proper greetings from everyone, the guitarist decided to simply answer the question before things went for worse. Sayo shook her head no, the action allowing her eyes to notice that the room was complete with all of Roselia’s members staring at her, perplexed at the bizarre, unusual Sayo they had just stumbled upon, guitar slung over her shoulders, but staring at a blank wall for who-knows-how-long before the rest arrived.

“Are you sure?” Lisa pressed, though that wasn’t the only thing she was pressing apparently, as one of Sayo’s hands was clasped between both of Lisa’s and was currently held against her fairly mature che-

“Sayo, I believe we’ve had a talk about this before, but if you are sick, one must not overexert themselves as this would trouble our band in the long run.”

“Yes, thank you, Minato-san.” –‘for taking my mind away from somewhere I’d rather it not be in.’. Sayo completed the sentence silently, hoping no one suddenly developed the powers of mindreading. “But still, I am fine and most certainly healthy.”

“You are most welcome.” Yukina gave in reply. “But I also don’t believe you all that much, Sayo. Not with your history of overwork.” Stepping in closer, the shorter girl took Sayo’s other hand in her own, giving it a squeeze. “So do tell us if you need a break today, and you shall have it.”

Oh, it had started again. Those thumps and irregular skips in Sayo’s pulse, the desire to run to the comfort room with her coolant for just a bit, the shaky breaths.

“I- I truly appreciate your kindness, but I am certainly fine and I would love to never burden you with something like a missing member due to negligence with my health.” Sayo once more tried to convince them of the truth. It was difficult.

“Really?” Gold and green interrogated, moving the slightest bit too close into Sayo’s personal space and mental safety barrier. Did they really not trust her to regulate and discipline herself with her health, much more after her first blunder?

The answer seemed to be yes.

Even Rinko’s tiny whispers of, “Hikawa-san” relayed her sincere worry for Sayo’s well-being, along with Ako’s less-than-subtle fidgeting. And while she was grateful for their sincerity, it felt a bit overbearing.

Sayo sighed for… some numbered time now. She’d done that a lot lately.

“Really.”

That seemed to have worked as everyone visibly relaxed, Ako and Rinko continuing on with their set-up and warm-ups. Sayo would have hoped that this would influence the other two in front of her to do the same; and they did. They did get to that…

But not without a gentle squeeze on her hands, a pat from Yukina, and a blown kiss from Lisa that only made it feel much hotter.

And why this was?

She still could not fathom.

And she hated that fact.

-//-//-//-

  She would definitely have to apologize later.

Practice had gone nowhere. Sayo’s perfect, calculated playing, everything done with precision and a charm solely hers… it just wasn’t there. And all because of her damned updated mind that kept bringing up two pairs of warm hands, and faces that seemed to be glowing in her eyes. Then there was the matter of Lisa’s… upper… half…

“We stop here for today.” Yukina’s usual stoic voice commanded, though Sayo could hear the frustration oozing out. She clearly was not pleased, and that was all because of Sayo’s lackluster performance.

Everyone nodded in reluctant agreement, each moving to fix up their instruments, securing them in their cases.

As they were ready to leave, lights turned off and door open in wait for the guitarist to be the last member to step out, Sayo spoke, stopping under the shadow of the darkened room in a bow. “I apologize. I’ll do better next time. Today’s subpar performance was clearly due to my lack of concentration and I shall do my utmost in correcting my-“

“Sayo.”

Said girl looked up from her perfectly ninety-degree bow.

“It’s okay.”

Scanning each of her bandmates’ faces, their expressions all responded with the same thing.

It’s okay.

“Really, Sayo-san, you should tell us if you feel a little sick! You work so hard, taking a break shouldn’t be a problem for you!” Ako laughed, but it had this little nervous color to it that expressed her care for Sayo.

“Ako…chan… is right. Hikawa-san… you already… play so well. You’d never…fall behind even if… you missed one session.” Rinko gave one of her most comforting smiles, and Sayo felt the desire to smile back. And she did.

“Even if I held you all back?” Sayo asked.

“What nonsense. A member of Roselia would do no such thing!” Yukina stated with conviction. “And in the impossible case that you did,” She grabbed Sayo, pulling her out of the dark room, and into the light, in the bright hallway with everyone else. “-then we’d pull you right along. We’d do that for each other, for any comrade.”

“She’s right. We’d do it in a heartbeat.” Lisa latched on to her arm, resting her head slightly on Sayo’s shoulder, almost nuzzling the spot, which would have been bad for Sayo’s processors. “I’m sure we all feel that way.” The brunette added good-naturedly. But those words held a not-too-pleasant weight for Sayo.

‘We all feel that way.’

All.

Feel.

“Right. Of course.” Sayo nodded, covering up the sudden shakiness in her legs by taking a firm step forward, still attached to the two same-year best friends.

Like wild horses being held back that suddenly broke their fence, her thoughts ran. Roselia trusted her. As a teammate, a bandmate, a comrade… a friend. So how was she to tell them she wasn’t like all of them. That she didn’t know how to feel?  How was she to explain that their warm, heartfelt sentiments were things she could not return genuinely?

How could she explain that the so-called emotions she portrayed were automatic, programmed responses? How could she possibly tell them that even she did not know her own sincerity towards the band, how she no longer knew if what she was doing was out of necessity and a must for self-preservation- a “professional” type of relationship; or if it was because she harbored what they had in their own souls. A love for other people.

No. It couldn’t be that.

She knew what it was. But that was textbook knowledge. She could never apply that to her own understanding and utilization.

She wasn’t meant to be able to do that. It wasn’t in her manual. Feelings never were. No matter how many years had passed. She’d never get to understand it.

Humans smile because they are happy. They cry when they are sad, they get angry because of unpleasant things. These little facts were what she was introduced to as the basis for telling emotions.

But then Hina smiled even though Sayo hurt her; Lisa cried when they got her flowers she loved for her birthday, and celebrated with her. Yukina got angry when another presumptuous producer offered to take them to a world stage.

It didn’t make any sense. Their reactions brought about by feelings were nothing like the manual. They were nothing so simple. They were so complex.

Too complex for a non-genius… nonhuman, non-girl like Sayo to understand.

But how could she say that to people who trusted her? That she wanted to offer a genuine trust in return to, but couldn’t possibly do so.

Again, she was far too deep inside the caves of her mind, peripheral sensors crippled to the world causing her to misstep, lunging forward for a faceplant-

…that never came.

Two bright smiles, warm eyes, and soulful emotions.

They teased and taunted, made Sayo heat up, heart threatening to explode at the sheer speed it pumped, but the notions also enough reason for her blood to run cold with unjustified envy- one that should not be able to exist within the teal-haired girl either. Because why should they be able to feel the way they do and bask in the enlightenment feelings brought. Why couldn’t Sayo? But then again, why did she care when it shouldn’t have mattered to her in the first place?

Confusing. Vexing. Frustrating.

And as Yukina held one of her hands, and Lisa clung to the other just as they did hours earlier, Sayo only felt more disdain for the concept she labelled as “feelings”. They made her bitter deep down, not because of their good intent, but that she knew not what these meant. They just weren’t for her. Feelings would never be hers to attain, they would never let Sayo own them; understanding of them constantly slipping from her grasp.

So she ended up hating them. Hating having feelings. Hating feelings.

Feelings that could never be felt by Sayo’s cold Mechanical heart.

    A/N: And that’s a… wrap?? I honestly… was stuck. I guess I’d rather treat this as chap 1 and the other as the prologue haha. My brain is so dried out tbh. Um… reactions? Comments?

~Shintori Khazumi

[master-thief-gray-shadow]

A Real Life Coffee Shop Romance

Chapter 4

First chapter | Previous chapter | Next chapter

Summary: Having forgotten to tell Sayo about the show at Galaxy, Tsugumi finds herself struggling with her feelings before the performance.

Notes: F in chat for Tsugu. Don’t worry, everything will work out in the end. It usually does with this kind of thing.

As per usual by now, Sayo was taking her time to admire the design on her latte. “A rose, hm?” She looked up at Tsugumi, a pleased smile on her face. “I suppose you like doing flowers.”

Tsugumi laughed softly. “Only for you,” She said, watching as Sayo continued to appraise the art just a little more before raising the cup to her lips. For the past three days Sayo had declined to order black coffee, and instead opted for a mocha instead. This sat perfectly with Tsugumi, who figured that she could happily go the rest of her life making lattes with flowers on them just for her.

“You seem to do a lot of things only for me, I’ve noticed,” Sayo said after a long, careful sip of her drink. “You refuse my money, you sit with me and talk instead of continuing to work at your station...surely you don’t do this for everyone?”

“You got me,” Tsugumi said with a shrug. “It’s no big deal though. You just come in so late, when nobody else does, so you’re the only customer here who I can really just...spend time with.”

The conversation gradually shifted to various other topics, largely school- or band-related, little things in their lives. Tsugumi felt like she could have talked with Sayo like this for hours, she always felt like she could, but much too soon had the sun’s rays turned from orange to a dull red, and the red would soon fade and leave only the dark night sky.

Luckily Sayo noticed how much time had passed and stood up, sparing Tsugumi the heartbreak of telling her it was time to leave. “It seems to have gotten late. I should be on my way home, I’ll probably be missed soon.”

“Ah, yeah,” Tsugumi said, trying not to look disappointed. “I need to start closing up shop, too.” She stood up as well, gathering Sayo’s used dishes onto the serving tray she’d set off to the side. Sayo smiled down at her, that same small smile that somehow held so much warmth, before turning and heading towards the door.

“Once again, thank you, Tsugumi-san,” She said, turning around to look back at her. “I always enjoy spending time with you here.” The bell jingled as she opened the door, but as she was halfway out of it she turned back again. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Tsugumi smiled. “Yeah, I’ll--” Wait. Tomorrow? But tomorrow she had to… “Wait, Sayo-san!”

Too late. She was gone now. Tsugumi’s heart sank.

Sayo didn’t know about the show tomorrow. Tsugumi had forgotten to tell her.

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“Hey, Tsugu, are you alright? You’ve been kinda quiet.”

Tsugumi blinked herself back to reality to see Himari having gotten right up into her face, her eyes wide with concern. “Ah, no, I mean, yes!” She said, taking a few steps back and putting her hands up. “I’m fine! Doing great!”

She surveyed her surroundings. Right, they were in the back room at Galaxy, they’d just gotten there and needed to start setting up. It was...she glanced at a clock on the wall. 4:03? 4:03 PM on a weekday. And she was at Galaxy. Doing another quick sweep of the room, she noticed the worried looks on the rest of her bandmates’ faces. Particularly Ran, who’s narrowed eyes and furrowed brow managed to speak volumes.

“Tsugumi,” She said, her voice level, “If you aren’t feeling well, then we don’t have to do this. We aren’t Afterglow with just four members.”

There was her window. She could just say the word, and this would all be called off. She could go back to the cafe, apologize for being late, and spend the rest of the afternoon with Sayo like she always did. It would be that easy.

It would be that easy to ditch the band, the group of friends for whom she served as the heart, to deny them the chance to perform, just to return to the shelter of her family’s cafe to talk to a girl. Tsugumi knew deep down that if she bailed now, Sayo would only be disappointed in her.

“No, I’m fine,” She said, shaking her head and smiling. “I wouldn’t want you to call anything off just because of me.”

The next fifty minutes were spent setting up equipment, tuning instruments, and just general goofing off. At least on the part of the other members. Tsugumi just kind of sat in a corner, awash in her own thoughts. Had Sayo actually shown up to the cafe and wondered where she was? Did she feel like she’d been stood up? Was she disappointed in her anyway? Eve was there right now, so if she had any questions they could be answered easily, but still…

Maybe she got lucky. Maybe Yukina had called the rest of Roselia in for surprise practice this afternoon and Sayo wasn’t anywhere near the cafe. Maybe. But Tsugumi wouldn’t bet on it.

“Afterglow! You’re on in five!” A stagehand called, once again snapping Tsugumi out of her thoughts. Right, yes, the performance. She took a deep breath in an attempt to steady herself. Sayo was important to her, yes, but so was her band. She had to give it her all for them right now. She tried to summon the unique combination of excitement and fear that she always felt before a show as adrenaline started to flow and made her heart race. A different kind of racing than the one she’d been experiencing lately, more wild, more intense. It wasn’t like the happy little flutters she’d feel when she’d see Sayo, when her eyes would light up like that upon being offered whatever baked goods were available today, when she would prepare coffee for her with the utmost care and affection because for her that was the deepest and truest way to express her feelings of...

There was a sudden, painful twinge in Tsugumi’s chest as something inside her clicked.

Of love.

Dear heavens, she’d actually done it. The thing she said didn’t really happen had happened and she’d fallen for a regular at the cafe. She’d fallen in love with Hikawa Sayo.

Tsugumi’s head was once again swimming as the band moved out onto stage. She somehow managed to make her way behind her keyboard, and as she placed her fingers over the keys a little bit of clarity returned to her, but she could barely hear anything over the pounding in her chest. She took in a few long, deep breaths. She could have a breakdown over her feelings later, for now she needed to keep it together. She focused her attention on the front of the stage, on Ran. Ran was the conduit through which the energy of the crowd flowed, through which it could reach her, steady her, temporarily cleanse her of the emotions that threatened to tear their way out of her. Her breathing gradually evened out as she watched Ran raise one hand.

“Everyone!” She said, her voice booming even over the roar of the audience. “We are Afterglow!”

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Tsugumi had hurriedly left the live house more or less the moment Afterglow’s set had ended. She hadn’t even bothered explaining anything to her bandmates, she’d just told them she was tired and needed to be getting home now. Which was true, sort of.

She was only one block away from the cafe. Eve should be finishing up the closing procedures by now, which was confirmed moments later when the cafe came into view and she could be seen through the windows. Unconsciously she picked up her pace. She was panting by the time she unlocked the door and practically threw it open.

“Eve-san!” She said between heavy breaths. “Good evening! How was the shop while I was away?”

Eve spent just a little too long just looking at her, probably confused as to why she had been running. “Everything was just fine, business as usual.” Her eyebrows slanted upward in concern. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, ahaha,” Tsugumi said, flashing a smile that no person who was “fine” would probably have on their face. “Exciting show tonight, I’m just a little winded.”

“I see.” Eve seemed to buy it. Tsugumi held back a sigh of relief. “By the way, someone came by looking for you earlier.”

Tsugumi stiffened. “Who was it?”

“Hikawa Sayo-san. She seemed disappointed that you weren’t here.”

“What did you say to her?”

“I told her you were playing at Galaxy. That is where you were, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right.” There was a tightening feeling in her throat. Her eyes itched.

“Tsugumi-san, are you really alright?” Eve said, coming closer. “You look like you’re about to cry.”

“I told you, I’m fine.” She laughed, as if to demonstrate how fine she was. The sound was hollow and mirthless. “I can take things from here, Eve-san. You’re free to go.”

There was a deeply worried look on Eve’s face. “Are you sure? Because you--”

“I’m sure!” Tsugumi said, perhaps a little louder than she had meant, and immediately slapped a hand over her mouth. “I’ll be fine,” She said, this time much more quietly.

Eve looked at her pitifully for just a second longer. “Alright. Please don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything, okay?” She said before removing her apron and going in back to hang it up. Tsugumi didn’t answer with words, she just simply nodded.

She waited until Eve had left before wandering into the storage room and collapsing onto the floor, tears streaming down her face. Heavy sobs forced themselves out from her throat, causing her body to shake as she curled herself inward, her knees hugged against her chest. Her vision blurred, her nose ran, her breathing was choppy and uneven as her lungs spasmed with each sob, the force causing her whole body to heave. Was Sayo mad at her? Would she stop coming to see her in the afternoons? Would she no longer smile like that at her, radiating warmth and affection, and instead regard her coldly like she did with everyone else?

Had she really ruined her own chance with someone just as she’d realized her own feelings?

“Sayo-san...Sayo-san, I’m so sorry…”

[natsuhi-did-nothing-wrong]

What always gets me is… what was Sayo supposed to do? Their entire life was orchestrated specifically to groom them for this one moment where they stand in for their mother so that Kinzo can forgive himself for raping her

And then what? What was supposed to come next? How did they imagine Sayo responding to that? Of course they just try to get back to the status quo, what else were they supposed to do? Become the head? How would that work, if no one would accept it?

It’s repeatedly emphasized how *worthless* an underground pile of gold really is, how difficult and tedious it would be to turn it into actual, spendable money, so even if they *did* decide to leave they wouldn’t be able to leave the island immediately

And what would they do if they left? Every possible future they ever pictured for themself has just been crushed. Every close relationship they have is either incestuous or built for the aforementioned grooming

So what did the servants expect would happen? It seems like they just figured what comes next is “whatever Sayo wants” which maybe sounds nice but is completely useless to Sayo

[thetravelerwrites]

Shelter Forest Character Reference Guide

I saw some comments about people being confused as to who all the people were in the stories, so I made a handy-dandy reference guide from asks I got on tumblr. If there are any other things you'd like to know about the people in Shelter Forest, please don't hesitate to send me an ask!

Can I ask how many children Declan has? If possible with names and species? I think you already answer this question so if you don't want to write everything again can you links us the answer?

As of Thandur’s fic, Declan has ten who identify as his children (I.E. they think of him as their father) and three who identify as his wards (I.E. under his protection but they don’t see him as their parent), so thirteen altogether. They are as follows:

As of Thandur’s fic:

Declan - 68 (Male Bat Monster; Ryel’s Mate; Straight)

Ryel - 50 (Female Human; Declan’s Mate; Straight)

Feera (Gnoll) - 28 (Joined Family at age 7; Straight)

Kurra (Gnoll) - 28 (Joined Family at age 7; Gay)

Reed - 26 (Male Cervitaur Ward; Yala’s Husband; Joined Family at age 15; Bisexual)

Soraya - 25 (Female Bat; Caeli’s Mate; Joined Family at age 13 Mo.; Lesbian)

Yala - 23 (Female Human; Reed’s Wife; Joined Family at age 4; Bisexual)

Caeli - 21 (Fem-Intersex Human Ward; Recently Married Soraya; Pansexual)

Birch - 21 (Male Centaur; Joined Family at age 12 with Yew; Straight)

Cetzu - 19 (Male Reptilian Changling; Joined Family at age 3 Weeks; Pansexual)

Lymera - 18 (Female Faun; Joined Family at age 5; Straight)

Toklo - 17 (Masc-Intersex Adlet; Joined Family at age 4; Asexual)

Yew - 13 (Male Centaur; Joined Family at age 4 with Birch; Gay)

Sayo - 12 (Female Owl-Harpy Ward; Just Joined as of Rantha’s Fic; Lesbian)

Asahi - 5 (Male Kitsune; Joined Family at age 8 Mo.)

Declan also has a three month old granddaughter named Teya, whose parents are Reed and Yala. Yala is pregnant with their second child. Also, Rantha is 36 and his as yet unnamed wife is 22. They’re son, Ranji, is 6 month old.

For Declan’s clan, what everybody’s little fear?

Declan hates the dark. He always has a candle burning.

Ryel is afraid of spiders. She knows it’s silly, living in the forest, but she can’t help it.

Feera is scared of crowds.

Kurra hates cats.

Reed is terrified of bears.

Soraya is pretty fearless. The only thing she’s scared of is humans, specifically hunters.

Yala is a bit superstitious, and hates the number 13.

Caeli doesn’t like crows.

Birch gets spooked by rabbits pretty easily. He’s not necessarily scared of them, he’s just always startled by them.

Cetzu is afraid of faeries. He worries they’ll try to take him back to the otherworld.

Lymera is claustrophobic.

Toklo is afraid of heights.

Worms or other creepy crawlies squick Yew out.

Sayo is uncomfortable around males. She grew up in an all-female community. She gets over it as she gets older, though.

Asahi hates thunder. He is five, after all.

What’s their guilty pleasure?

Declan: He eats bugs. A LOT. Just cause it makes his wife’s face scrunch up. Also he likes how they taste.

Ryel: Ryel likes to take really long baths. Like, proper baths in a tub. She’d spend all day in one if she got her way.

Feera: There’s a place in the forest that catches light in such a way that it’s perfect for naps. Feera disappears for a few hours and naps there. He doesn’t tell anyone about it because he doesn’t want to share.

Kurra: Kurra just likes to eat. All day every day. He’s strictly a meat eater, but if he can get his hands on it, he’ll eat it.

Reed likes to dance. He doesn’t do it often, because he’s self conscious, but every once in a while, when he and Yala are alone, they dance together.

You already know Soraya’s, She goes to the beach and collects shells. Only Caeli knows about it.

Yala goes swimming naked in the middle of the night. Reed stands guard.

Caeli loves to climb trees. No reason, she just likes being up high. She and Soraya will race sometimes.

Birch likes to play pranks. Usually their harmless, but he’s not allowed to bring animals into the main house anymore.

Cetzu is a bit of a romantic. He fantasizes about getting married and carves wedding rings for potential spouses. He has a small collection of rings he’s made that he’s never showed anyone.

Lymera is a holy woman in training, but she’s also a faun and likes to cause mischief. She’s let the ceremonial temple birds free in the temple more than once.

Toklo has never been into a town before, but he has gone to the edges of some that border the forest and watched the people going about their day. He thinks the habits of normal people going about their normal lives is fascinating.

Yew likes birds. He has some that he’s trained to follow him around. If you hear twittering and chirping coming from nowhere, Yew’s probably nearby.

Sayo plays hide and seek without telling anyone. She likes to hide for hours at a time. Once she was perched on top of the house for two days and no one was able to find her.

Asahi doesn’t have a guilty pleasure. He’s a toddler. Same goes for Teya.

For the women of the farm, are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

Ryel is okay at cooking. It wasn’t as hard before when it was just her and Declan, but once the kids started arriving, she had to up her game. She certainly doesn’t enjoy it.

Yala is good at and really enjoys baking, and though she’s good at cooking other food, she prefers baking.

It’s a good thing Caeli came along. Not only does she love to cook, she’s amazing at it. Yala and Ryel happily left that chore to her.

And even though you didn’t ask, Asahi helps.

Then who is the best cooker and/or baker in the clan?

Ready for a shock? It’s Kurra, one of the Gnoll boys. He cooks every once in a while, but he prefers hunting to cooking. His venison stews are to die for, though.

After I read Rantha's story I fell in love with his sweet personality, but I had the feeling he alone in the woods for a reason right? What happened to his family?

Rantha’s family were ring fighters, similar to bulls in matador fights, except the object is for the human and the minotaur to fight to the death. The minotaurs are paid handsomely when they win, treated like kings, but Rantha hated it.

After his first fight when he was only 13, during which he killed his opponent, he left and never came back. He found Declan but decided not to join the family, instead making his own way in the forest. He and Declan have been friends for years. He was the one who found Toklo being sold at auction and brought him to the farm.

I'm curious; if Rantha came from a place where humans and minotaurs fight, then they do know other creatures exist. But the village where Ryel use to live everyone acts like they don't know about their existence. Were they isolated from other places or they just hate other creatures? Can monster roam around freely or just in certain places?

Alrighty, we’re about to get into some deep lore here.

Almost all of my stories are connected, from the modern to the medieval. In Tumble’s story, it’s mentioned that there are “Established” non-human races, i.e. creatures that humans have known about for centuries and accept into society at large. There were nine in total:

Orcs

Man-Beasts (like werewolves or werebears; basically any being who start as humans and become something else)

Beastmen (including minotaurs, tabaxi, gnolls, lizardfolk, etc.; basically any being that is more beast than man)

Giant-Kin (like trolls and ogres)

Goblin-Kin (including bugbears and hobgoblins)

Demon-Kin (such as vampires and teiflings, and demons, of course),

Cattle-Kin, (such as centaurs, satyrs, and/or fauns; any being with human-like faces and hooved feet.)

Halfling-Folk (Including gnomes and dwarves)

The Fair Folk, otherwise known as the Fae. Elves are included in this subcategory.

Besides these well-known races, there were others who, after centuries in seclusion, decided to reveal themselves to humans, like Tumble’s people. Despite this, there are still a few who have chosen to remain in hiding, such as driders, like Jin, and certain demons, like Blue.

Back during the Shelter Forest story arc, the “Established” races were well known, though there was heavy discrimination against them, especially in smaller villages. There were, of course, human-only towns and villages who were hostile to non-human peoples, as in the case with Ryel and Caeli’s village.

Typically, you’d find non-humans either in large cities, where humans and non-humans coexisted, places like where Rantha first came from, or in closed communities for non-human people that were far recessed from the human populations. Animal-like peoples, like the rakshasa and Tumble’s people, the leporids, lived in these communities. Non-human, non-established creatures who live outside of these communities were often hunted like animals, as Reed was.

As stated before, even though there were “Established” races, there were also races no one had ever seen or heard about, like Declan. Declan and Soraya are not native to the continent in which they reside and are very rare. In fact, there are only 22 other creatures like them on the continent. Their kind come from a continent in the south and are hunted by adventurers and brought back to the northern continent when they are babies as living trophies.

Conversely, there were races that people have heard about but have rarely seen, like nagas and dragons, who were openly hostile to humans as well and have little to do with them. Even during the modern times, nagas and dragons are reluctant to interact with humans, but they aren‘t hidden.

I already know this is canon but I MUST ask. Declan and Soraya, have any of you ever eat a moth out of nowhere in the night????

Declan says: “Once, about a year after she came to stay with me, I startled Ryel by taking a moth off of the wall one evening while we were talking and munching on it. I didn’t understand why her face went all scrunchy like that so I asked her what was wrong. ‘You just ate a bug,’ she said. I laughed for a long time after that.”

Soraya says: “I’m not particular to moths; too fuzzy. But I do like grasshoppers and beetle grubs. Grasshoppers are plentiful during the summer, and grubs pop up around springtime under tree bark. I typically go on bug hunts by myself and bring a handful back for Papa. It’s probably the one eating habit that’s exclusive to the two of us.”

I need to ask Declan and Soraya; What's your favorite fruit/meal. Do you only eat fresh fruit or do you eat some other things as well? I know you can't eat meat but what about some seeds, cereals, bread or dairy products? What about food that has fruit flavors on it like; orange flavored biscuits or passion fruit mousse? Also, what about Jam? which one it's your favorite if you liked them :) (Sorry if this is too much to answer :3)

Declan says: “I adore bananas, but they’re hard to come by where we live. It’s far too cold to grown them here, even in the summer, so I settle for my second favorite, mangos. I do love seeds and nuts. We have almond and walnut trees growing on the farm, and sunflowers and pumpkins, and we eat the seeds from those. Our stomachs don’t process dairy very well, so Soraya and I tend to stay away from it, though the rest of the family doesn’t have that problem. As far as jam, I love all kinds, but Ryel stops me from licking the jar. She says it’s not dignified. As if I’ve ever been dignified. :)”

Soraya says: “I love apricots and figs the most. I help Mama make preserves and jam and dried fruit for the wintertime, when the fruit trees aren’t producing. We also make fruitcakes and preserve them in whiskey, so they last a really long time. We grow oats, but not wheat, so we don’t eat much bread unless she brings it from market, and even then, I can’t eat a lot of it. We make nutbars and nectar flower biscuits that keep for months, though, and those sustain us through winter. Most of the rest of the family are omnivores or carnivores, so they hunt in the winter to keep themselves fed, but Papa and I have specific diets, so we have to make things that will last us the whole winter long or we’d starve. Mama is really good about making and saving, and she keeps us all warm and fed.”

For Cetzu: Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces? What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress? What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves? How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

Cetzu has a memory like a steel trap. It’s likely his fae heritage. He remembers just about everything. Cetzu, being cold blooded, likes to be warm, so he, the gnoll boys, and Asahi sleep in a pile in a room the family calls the “boy’s den.” He’s not all that funny, but he does like to laugh. He thinks throwing the gnolls into the river is hilarious. He’s a friendly person, but he does keep his negative feelings to himself. He doesn‘t like to bother people. But it’s the opposite when he’s happy. He likes everyone to know when he’s happy. He does try to sing, but he’s a touch tone deaf.

I want to know! How did Cetzu learn to make all the stuff he does? Did he read it somewhere or have someone teaching nearby?

I think it’s part of his fae heritage, since he’s a changeling, but he’s just naturally gifted at it. He started out making simple things when he was a small boy, though, and practiced until he could carve very intricate carvings. He’s got an expert eye now.

Since Cetzu is part fae, he can't touch iron? Or is offensive to him to tell him ''thank you'' or receiving presents?

The iron thing, definitely. The farm uses steel as much as possible, and if they have to use iron, it’s kept in a safe place where he can’t accidentally touch it, sort of like allergy prevention. He also has a hang up about being invited into places: you can’t just tell him to go somewhere he hasn’t been before, he has to be invited there or he simply won’t go. He doesn’t mind politeness but he sees receiving presents as a debt to repay. Even though he struggles with the fae part of himself, he’s still bound by some of their laws.

What about a tail? Does Cetzu has a tail too? Can it grow back is one cuts it? (not that I want that for him, no! Poor thing T.T)

He does have a tail, but unfortunately, it will not grow back if cut off.

I forgot to ask, what about wings? Since he's part fae, but also I've heard of some Lizardfolks (not dragons) with wings.

Cetzu doesn’t have wings, no. He’s more like a big, black alligator that stands like a man. He’s buff as hell too.

I want to know, how little Sayo reacted when she saw so many men in the farm. Or did she already knew what men where :?

Up to that point, Sayo lived in a woman-only community. She hadn’t met any kind of male before being dropped off at the farm. She was terrified of them for the first year.

Does Asahi like shiny stuff? I've heard that harpies also like them? Did they both have a chest/corner/place where they collect shiny stuff or they have on of their own? or they compete for who has the biggest mountain of shiny stuff?

That’s what got Sayo to come out of her shell a little. Asahi wanted to make friends with her, but she was always aggressive and snapped at him, until he showed her his hoard of treasures. The two of them became friends then, and Sayo slowly started to open up to the rest of the family.

Both Asahi and Sayo collect shiny things, but while Asahi likes coins and bits of metal, Sayo prefers petrified amber and stones. Asahi buries his, and Sayo keeps her collection under her bed.

So to Asahi, Sayo is like his big sister? (I mean, obviously, they are Declan's and Ryel's children anyways) so he often follows her and she ''tries'' to keep him away of danger and getting dirty... again?

Yep. Sayo is actually the oldest of four daughters in her original clan, so she’s used to being responsible for younger children, but she’s never had a little brother before. Once she came along, she helped Ryel keep Asahi in line.

7 & 11 for Sayo please. Also, not in the ask but... which color are Sayo’s feathers?

Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

Sayo is based on a Barn Owl, so her feathers are gold and white. She’s a bird of prey, so definitely not vegan or vegetarian. She’s the only female on the farm that’s strictly meat and can’t eat vegetables or fruit. As far as childhood friends, she used to have a lot of them before her mom kicked her out of her coven. Now she not in contact with any of them.

I was thinking if Lymera uses Reed's antlers to make charms, could she use Sayo's feathers if they fall? Do harpies change their feathers from time to time? Maybe doing things like dream catchers???

Sayo does drop feathers and go through molts, but she finds the use of them in charms offensive to her culture.

Somehow I imagine Asahi wearing little bells for some reason, maybe on his tail or in his clothes? I just picture him with bells (like the ones in cat toys)

He has to have bells on. Ryel has to know where he is AT ALL TIMES. Otherwise he gets into everything.

I've always pictured Lymera wearing long and loose dresses for some reason. Maybe because I have this image of people working with talismans and stuff like that

Funnily enough, nudity isn’t taboo on the farm. Sayo, Soraya, and most of the boys never wear clothing. The humans do, but that’s conditioning. Lymera, being an acolyte priestess would typically wear robes and gowns of her station, but she does go nude from time to time.

Can Lymera play any instrument/sing?

Yes, she plays the harp, flute, and drum. She does sing as well. That’s actually where she was when Ryel found her; chained to a stage at an inn, singing for the patrons.

Since I'm a witch myself I want to ask Lymera what kind of stuff she does and what part of her studies to be a priestess she likes the most? Do you focus on healing magic or other types as well? What about divination like tarot card of a pendulum, do you work with crystals or herbs? Do you watch the stars or make amulets for protection? Sorry if this is too much I got a little excited! Hugs! 3 :D

Lymera says: “My primary focus is sacred ceremonies, like weddings, initiations, and funerals. When not doing those, I practice many types of divination and scrying, as well as some magical healing. Mother is a far better herbalist than me, though, and helps me with that subject. As an acolyte, I am required to study all aspects of the craft, but there are some that draw me more than others. When Reed’s antlers drop in the winter, Cetzu sculpts little amulets from them that I bless and give out as charms. Our family works together.”

Wow, I can’t wait to know more about Lymera. I’m just trying to imagine the whole “escape plan” to save her from that horrible place, sounds intriguing.

In Reed’s fic, I had explained it as Ryel seeing her and trying to buy her from the innkeeper, and when that didn’t work, she brought Declan back in the middle of the night to scare the bejeezus out of the innkeeper until she released Lymera. Declan’s a cuddly puppy most of the time, but he can be a big Papa Bear when he wants to be.

 I think 11 would be an interesting one for Toklo, I mean we know he eats meat but, does he enjoys something else in the farm???

Toklo is definitely a meat eater, but he also eats onions whole and stares people down while he does it. He’s a weird kid.

 Sorry if this is just me, but, what Toklo does in the farm? I believe there's always a lot of work in there so everyone must help somehow, right?

Toklo helps in the fields like everyone does. He’s also mostly a carnivore, so he also goes on weekly hunts with the other meat eaters of the family. Cleaning and gutting often falls to him. He’s learning currently how to tan leather from the hides.

Does Asker visit the farm alot and what does his wife usually do on the farm???

Asker doesn’t visit often. He’s very anti-social. He likes the family, but from a distance. His children visit more than he does, but that’s still sporadic. Laefa does carpentry work around the farm, building shelters and repairing the house and the barn, should there be damage.

Which character in the Declan Clan likes to knit????

Reed’s mate, Yala, knits a lot. She taught Caeli (Soraya’s mate) and both of the gnoll twins how to do it.

Are gnolls twins like fire and water? or they complement each other like PB and Jelly?

PB&J, honestly. They almost have that twin telepathy. But they do have marked differences in appearance and tastes.

[docbatchoii]

This video is just a compilation of everything we did. :) Enjoy reading! Better listen to “ako naman muna” habang ang babasa kayo. Sinulat ko habang nakikinig e hahaha  Capturing every moment of the Mindoro-Bora was the best decision I’ve ever made during the trip. According to my psychology class, there are 3 main forms of memory, The sensory, Short-term and Long-term memory and definitely the bora trip will turn into a core long term memory and it took a lot of memory literally on my phone hahaha There are realizations happened during the expedition. Some were bad and most are good.  A lot of things broke my heart but bora helped me fixed my vision, specially to friendship. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako nagkulang. Ang gusto ko lang naman ay mabigyan ng liwanag ang nasa paligid ko. Naging manhid ako sa mga bagay na importante para sa ibang tao. Lalo na sa mga taong nag papahalaga sa akin.  Minsan ko ng maisip na lumayo na lang at manahimik, yup! Tama ang nasa isip mo. Ang magpakamatay pero hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko kaya. How about those people na maiiwan ko.  Sabi ko nga sa isang blog ko. “Taking a space from everything can make you feel at ease and peaceful, but how about the feelings of the people you suddenly left behind. Are they okay? Do they miss you when you chose quickly to left the reality? We will never know. “ “You can’t be a dead fish in this universe. You should fight the current.’’ Yan mismo ang mga katagang iniisip ko tuwing ako ay nanghihina. But you are not a fish, tao ka. May mga kaibigan ka na handang tumulong sayo despite of everything you’ve caused them. Not financially but emotionally. Madami akong naririnig na kaibigan nila ako and because of that, it is hard to believe most of them. I’m used to be friends by many but best friend by few. Only one person held me back to be emotionally attach to other people, and that person passed away years ago. The promised we said to each other really put me in a cage. Kinulong nya ako sa bagong mundo. Kinulong nya ang puso ko na maging bukas sa ibang tao. But im thankful how things end. Because of those promises, it made me be “me” right now and thought how to be mindful about other’s motives towards you. 2 broken beautiful souls have emerged from somewhere in different part of the country. One from Nueva Ecija and the other was from Mindoro. Both of them also carrying baggage from unknown by me.  We’ve met somewhere in manila, in a boarding house not afar from my previous school, TIP. We’ve known each other from a long time na, don’t know the exact date though but I think it was 11 years. Those 2 broken pieces from reality are my friends. O edi mag sama sama kaming mga may dinadala. HAha. Yeah, they are my friends which I thought from before na “panandalian lang”. The other one has feelings for me na akala ko mawawala din after many years apart. Not knowing na im  one of the biggest part of his life. Malay ko ba, maloko ako e. And yung isa naman is my favorite rant-er. Kahit rant sya ng rant di ako naiirita and no judgement na lumalabas sa isip ko. Ewan ko ba, music to my ears na ata para sakin yung mga rants nya. hahahhaha  I have never paid much attention to them before, na I have somehow regret now. Who would have thought na those 2 person is magiging big part ng life ko diba. Sorry na. Kung mababasa nyo to baka mainis pa kayo lalo. Hahahahaha. Pero ayun na nga, we’ve been to places, like nueva ecija  and in that place finally, nasabi ko na BESTFRIENDS ko sila. Word na matagal kong pinilit na hindi banggitin. Pinilit kong i-reserve sa isang tao. Hiding my feelings is my tool to sanity but words will reveal everything no matter how long the duration is. Wayback, Im aware naman na those 2 people ay kaibigan ko and being in denial  has caused too much confusion for them. Nasaktan ko sila kahit na ang gusto ko lang ay maging masaya sa mga mata nila. I thought giving them the mask of happiness will make them at ease whenever they are talking to me. Pero too much hiding can let the soft-hearted people  feel much worse. Those people na mababa ang loob are the strongest, most caring and madaling makaramdam ng pagsisinungaling. Matagal ko silang ti-nake for granted and I wanted na bumawi. I don’t know where and when to start. Nag-open sila ng nararamdaman nila sakin and I cant say “SORRY” in front of them. Hindi ko mabanggit. I just made my poker face, “the smile, the laught” pero sa totoo lang, I was hurt na despite of everything na gusto ko silang makitang masaya ako sa mata nila, mas nasaktan ko pa. And I didn’t know what to do, napakamanhid ko before sa kanila. Ang sama kong tao. I fully understood them naman from before pero hindi ko magawang mag open sa kanila ng nararamdaman ko, maybe because im used to this and naging defense mechanism ko na lang in difficult situations. My strength is also my kryptonite. Opening them my feelings and secrets really put me at ease. Di ko matandaan yung restaurant na mahal, pero minahal ko dahil sa mga kaganapan. Ang mahal talaga di naman masarap. Hahaha Gusto kong bumawi sa kanila. I hope I can make things in line. I hope my oras pa. BJ x ME X GE

[italicwatches]

Magical Girl Ore - Episode 01

Hey.

Hey, friends.

Guess what.

I lied.

It’s Magical Girl Ore, episode 01! Here we GO!

-We begin, on Earth. A place full of demons running rampant. Yet Earth is defended, fought for, by magical girls!

-Cut in on a bubbly Saki with a cute mascot, racing off into the distance to fight demons…She comes down hard, to face a reptilian beast full of malice and fury! She leaps high into the air, but is blasted hard, slammed into the ground…And her arm she blocked with has lost all color! That might be easier for the colorists, but it’s bad for her! If that thing hits her again…

-And she watches as the next beam saps the green from the grass, the warm hues from the buildings, even the glory of the sunset is turned to ashen grey. It’s so bad that the few remaining colors band together in a “Color Broadcast” swatch! This is bad! If the whole show turns black and white, young viewers with no sense of history will think something is wrong with the broadcast and will call in to complain! They’ll get cancelled for causing the networks trouble, and will have to burn off the timeslot with stock footage of nice boats! Do you want to fall to that fate?!

-NO! Saki only has one option…The forbidden technique! Come forth, staff of magic! Rainbow Miracle Super Delicious Pretty Hyper Rainbow ATTACK! The spectrum cuts through this lizard like butter through a hot knife, and just as the knife falls against butter’s grim might, so too does the demon! An overwhelmingly powerful attack, its secret lies in being able to be animated solely by the underpaid computer FX team, not the actually respected key animators… It might be cheap, but it’s powerful…

-And then the kickback drops Saki flat on the ground…As finally appears, the noble gentleman of love, who protects injured magical girls…Peach Prince! He scoops her up in his arms, returned from his faraway kingdom to protect her noble heart from the wearies of battle…Oh, if only she could stay in his arms a bit longer…

-And if only he’d quit making alarm clock noises.

-Because Saki awakens to discover that morning kind of sucks when you were almost there. This is hell.

-Opening! Hope you like muscles, friends, because this magical girl anime is packed to the gills with them. Big, powerful muscles worthy of the sternest bara.

-Episode 01: Magical Girl - Transform

-So the real, not-dream Saki sprints down the stairs having slept way the hell in, and why didn’t her mother wake her up?! She tried multiple times, but you were in deep, kiddo. If you hadn’t been mumbling in your sleep she would’ve thought you’d died. But Saki is desperately late and has to GO GO GO! No time for breakfast! No time for breakfast? Then you need this.

-Saki is off in a flash, as Saki’s mother remembers that she was about that age when she…

-So Saki has…

-…

-That is not mouth toast.

-That is not mouth toast at all. That is a plate of pancakes piled high with whipped cream and fruits that she is gobbling up while she sprints.

-To work! Where Saki is doing an idol appearance in front of an electronics store with her partner. Also, I’m gonna tell you now, she can’t sing. Like, she is not keeping to the tune at all, she’s just kind of rhythmically talking. Her partner actually has some talent, and Saki is clearly working hard, but she has hard work to do…

-And here’s the worst part. Their efforts, done on a cheap karaoke boombox and a slapdash stage made of wooden pallets, has literally zero interested watchers. Manager…Did they institute martial law? Did a serial killer come through this area? Is there a zombie virus? Nope, you’re just that unpopular. And Saki quietly realizes she’s going to be stuck with another box of her own unsold merch…While her partner, Mikage Sakuyo, turns to the TV showing an actual popular idol group. Star Prince, as helmed by her older brother…

-Who’s a bit quiet and off in his own world, until his own appearance on the talk show kicks on, and then it’s like a switch flips as his singing starts. Also, subtitled songs! A precious and rare commodity in this, the age of machine gun subs. And Sakuya is rather in the shadow of her brother Mohiro…And Saki wants to bone him. She’s kind of stalked him since she was a little girl. And her whole dream of being an idol is to be closer to Mohiro. She does not have the purest of motives. But that kind of love could motivate you! Just, you know, no romance. Or pregnancies.

-MANAGER SHUT UP. And Sakuyo takes Saki’s hand, and they will surpass her brother…Together.

-Later that day, Saki is finally headed off…When she gets to her house, and finds an incredibly tough, vicious looking yakuza thug trying to kick down her gate! Oh god. Oh god what’s happening. And when he spots her, she immediately finds herself confronted, as manager and Sakuyo hide! And Saki gets dragged into her home by this yakuza thug…Who demands she call her mom in here right now.

-And out comes her mom, who never thought she’d be seeing Ko-san again…And he knows Sayo personally enough to call her Sayo-chin. Wait…Wait…Was her mom in with…Is this her…

-What was your relationship, exactly…? Oh god oh god…

-The truth is, dear, your mother…Was once a magical girl.

-Ehhhhhhhhhhh

-You broke Saki. You broke her so bad she turned into a sketch.

-One Uno Sayori, once was a magical girl! She got scouted by Ko-san in middle school. She spent a long time as a magical girl, keeping it secret…And Ko was her mascot! Here’s his card. His full name is Kokoro-chan. He’s even got a cute speech tic, dammit!

-But you see, Sayori eventually had to wind down…And she’s retired after last month, when she threw out her back. Not even magical girls can fight father time. She’s done, Ko-san.

-The problem is, without Sayori, they have nobody to protect this area…And it’s still got threats…And then Ko-san gets an idea. …Hey you. The kid. Got any crushes on anyone? W-W-What?! Well, um, she IS a teenage girl…How old are you? F-Fifteen…Just barely under the limit. Come on, make a contract with him! Saki looks to her mother for support…

-But Sayori thinks this is a great plan and means she can retire without regrets! Take over for your mom, dear! SAKI DOES NOT WANT IN ON THIS.

-You know, you’ll be stacked as hell, and built where it counts! …You have her attention. Okay, time to get started! Wait, wait—

-Here, sign this contract. Damn, just straight up mercenary. So let’s pause and see…You agree to obey the rules of the magical world and see justice through. To never abuse magic for personal gain. To not reveal your true identity. (Certain exceptions allowed.) And to not complain about the physical and emotional damage of the job.

-All laid out and clear, so everyone knows what’s on the table. S-So, she’ll be fighting demons? …Nah, most days you’re just making delinquents clear out, shit like that. It’s easy work—Hold on, he’s getting a text.

-Oh.

-Demon.

-But hey, take a look at the horrible thing you’ll be fighting! This hair-raising form!

-Ko-san that is a teddy bear. Wait she’s fighting cute mascots for a yakuza thug?! That’s just camouflage! They get JACKED when it’s time to battle! And only a magical girl’s power can stop them! Wait, this is a livestream…

-And Mohiro is there?! Cuddling up to these demons?!!! OH GOD HE’S GONNA BE STOLEN AWAY! Where’s the fight?! She’s gotta save him!!! Saki sprints off, as Sayori can only ask Kokoro to do right by her daughter…

-And Saki makes it, in time to see incredibly buff teddy bears carrying away the stoic Mohiro! This is bad. Also Ko-san finally makes it. Wait, that’s an open portal! They’ve got to stop them! And there’s a whole bunch…HOW DOES SHE BEAT THEM?! TELL HER, KO-SAN! She’s shaking a yakuza thug by the lapels, this would be such a bad plan any other time…

-But when it unlocks her love power, and even he’s stunned by its intensity…All you have to do is confess! Shout your love to the heavens, Saki, and its power will engulf you! Quit blushing like a virgin bride, and go save the man you love! SHOUT THAT NAME, kiddo! Do it!!!

-A thousand memories play in her mind…And she admits…She, loves Mikage Mohirooooo!

-And power floods her body, surges forth, turning to muscle! Rippling, powerful muscle! The strength of a god imbues her form, as all becomes light…And when that light clears…Power overwhelming stands between Mohiro and these demons! Saki is now in the body of a six+ foot tall man, and is incredibly confused.

-Okay PAUSE! Now that that ball’s finally dropped, we’ve got to talk pronoun policy on this show. All pronouns will be handled based on internal self-identification. So long as Saki continues to consider herself a fair and sweet maiden, she will continue to be referred to with she/her pronouns. For clarity of physical form, however, until such time as formal hero titles are revealed, we will be using Japanese honorifics! So Saki-chan as she is now in this moment, is Saki-kun, and she is definitely built in all the important places as Ko-san promised her! Cool? Cool. Moving on!

-Saki-kun is so confused.

-Credits! Well shit.

Sometimes I ask what I’ve gotten myself into. But let’s be real, I knew this was gonna be crazy town from the moment I hit play. We’ll just have to see if Saki-kun can save her beloved with this magical girl power, next time in episode TWO of Magical Girl Ore! Wait for it!

[sayo-beatrice]

Legend - EP 1

Massive spoilers for Legend of the Golden Witch! Do not read if you are not okay with spoilers! 

First Game Legend of the Golden Witch

Culprit: Sayo Yasuda Accomplices: Nanjo, Genji, Kumasawa, Eva, and Hideyoshi

Preparations: In Chapter 6, after talking with the cousins, Shannon ran off claiming that her break was over. It stated that she was headed toward the rose garden, but we didn’t see her after that. In this same chapter, Kanon was unaccounted for the entire time. Rosa and the cousins soon left Maria alone in the rose garden, since she refused to stop searching for her lost rose. Yasu, as either Shannon, Kanon, or Beatrice, gave the letter to Maria while she was searching for her rose in the garden. In this game and almost all the other others, Yasu told her to read it to everyone at dinner. Along with this, she must have taken the rose on the way to the rose garden to keep Maria there, otherwise it was simply a prediction of hers (it would make sense, she predicted the typhoon).

First Twilight: In the dining hall, Yasu killed Krauss, Rudolf, Kyrie, Rosa, and Gohda, hence the blood on the seats. It is not certain why she killed those particular people, but it was most likely so that the adults wouldn’t solve the epitaph before Battler, which is what she wants to happen. With the help of one of the servants (she is the head, so they will obey her, and nobody else would help her; for more context, the servants with the exception of Gohda all accept Beatrice as their second master in Chapter 12), Yasu moved their bodies to the rose garden storehouse and painted the magic circle to give off the witch’s presence.

Although it is very discreet, Yasu presumably bribed Eva and Hideyoshi to conspire with her. Before she is killed, Eva refers to the blood as “horrible makeup” with a very firm tone. In Chapter 10, Hideyoshi did not allow George to come near Shannon’s body with the excuse of preserving her dignity. Nobody except Eva and Hideyoshi saw “Shannon” on the ground. That’s where Willard’s solution comes into place. “Illusions to illusions. The corpse that cannot return to earth returns to illusions.” Shannon’s corpse isn’t real because Kanon was at the scene, so lies took place.

To explain the scene at Natsuhi’s room, we will go back to Chapter 6. Maria rants about how scorpion charms ward off witches such as Beatrice. Shannon reaffirms this theory, and later puts it to use while planning the six murders. In Chapter 8, Jessica gives her scorpion charm to Natsuhi, and she hangs it on her door. Yasu most likely saw the charm and gave up on killing Natsuhi (keep in mind the purpose of killing the parents). She then settled for Gohda, who is the only servant who didn’t know the truth about her. To add the finishing touch, Yasu added the fake blood she uses later in the murders to her door to scare her, which fully recreated the scorpion charm myth.

Second Twilight: According to the epitaph, the victims of the second twilight will be “two who are close.” The only two who are close are the married couple of Eva and Hideyoshi, and are also dangerous accomplices who could expose her, so it would be twice as reasonable for Yasu to murder them. At a time where Kanon was unaccounted for, Yasu went to Eva and Hideyoshi’s room dressed up as Kanon. She shot them in the head and placed the stakes in the bullet spots in order to stick to her epitaph motif. Hideyoshi was placed in a running shower to create further chaos and confusion. It can be presumed that they were shot first because otherwise blood would be all over the walls and the bed.

Afterwards, Yasu went to the kitchen to get Genji as a watchdog in order to paint the magic circle. We as the readers are tricked to think that they are innocent and just checking on the couple. This can be predicted because the magic circle just suddenly appeared when Kanon came back with Kumasawa. It is said that it is a perfect closed room, but if they knew that these events occurred, they would probably come to a conclusion that is the same as mine. “Illusions to illusions. A chain of illusions can only hold back illusions.” Eva and Hideyoshi never mentioned a chain locking the door, only Kanon and Genji, so it had to be a lie. Even if the chain existed - logically, it would be easy for Yasu to lock the chain before leaving the room, creating the illusion of a perfect closed room.

Fourth Twilight: In Chapter 12, Eva talks about how she placed a receipt into the study door before she asked Natsuhi to go check on Kinzo. When Eva and Natsuhi went along to check on Kinzo, he “disappeared” and wasn’t in the study. Additionally, the receipt was in the exact same place as Eva put it in as they entered the door. To clarify, the receipt really exists because Natsuhi later says that she threw it in the trash when she saw it on the floor.

This would create a closed room scenario if not looked upon carefully. But with the evidence presented, it can be concluded that Kinzo was never there in the first place, even though everyone says he is. What would this suggest? He was already dead. “Illusions to illusions. Let the man of illusions go to where he belongs.” Krauss, Natsuhi, and the servants are “seen” with Kinzo throughout the first half of the novel. But looking back at what I just said, that is not possible. This means they are all faking his death, most likely to prevent a crazy incident to happen within the Ushiromiya family (I mean, look at the Rokkenjima Mass Murder). Knowing all this, it would be extremely easy for Yasu to stage Kinzo’s death to the unknowing family members.

Fifth Twilight: Considering the alibis, there is no possible way for Kanon and Kumasawa to hear a door closing in the boiler room. Kanon rushed down to the boiler room and saw “Beatrice.” Since Beatrice is Yasu, Kanon yelling at Beatrice would represent Yasu’s internal conflict about being a murderous sadist who causes grief to Battler and the others. In the end, Yasu goes through with it and stages a death for Kanon, so she can finish the last twilights easier. She presumably used the blood-like substance that was on Natsuhi’s door to stage Kanon’s death. “Illusions to illusions. The witch and stake of illusions can pierce naught but illusions.” The stake that apparently pierced Kanon was near him, not in him. Additionally, he was face down and the only confirmation of his death and the stab wound was Nanjo’s inspection.

Sixth, Seventh, & Eighth Twilight: The letter in the study must have been sneaked onto the table by one of the servants; most likely Genji. After all, Genji was with Kanon during the preparations for the second twilight, so he must have also slipped the letter under the door. While everyone was looking at the epitaph in the study, Maria and the servants were the only ones who weren’t seen. Maria couldn’t have done it because she legitimately believes in magic. After Natsuhi kicked Maria and the servants out, they went to the parlor. When the group in the study came down after getting the phone call in the study (from Yasu or Maria, this would also imply that Genji lied about the radio and phone not working), Maria claimed that Beatrice came through the door in the form of golden butterflies and spoke to them.

Again, when Genji said he was going to give all the keys in the mansion to Natsuhi, he lied because Yasu couldn’t have gotten in otherwise; Genji would have to lock the door in order to create an illusion for Maria. “Illusions to illusions. Illusions are the blind girls's song. Illusion of a closed room.” Adding onto Maria’s claim, she stated that Beatrice told her to face the wall and sing while she killed everyone else in the room, in order to prohibit Maria from seeing how she really does it. Either Yasu or Maria made the phone call and just left the wire hanging. Afterwards, Yasu left a taunting letter for Natsuhi and waited for her in the area with the portrait. Lastly, on the notion of Kumasawa being frightened (as Maria stated), it can simply be explained as her anxious nature toward the subject of death. Even if she knows something is going to happen, she’s still scared, as seen during the second and fifth twilights upon the body discoveries.

Final Moment: Natsuhi never fired the gun until the fight with “Beatrice.” The only logical explanation is that the gun had blanks (not by coincidence, Yasu had access to Kinzo’s room and his weapons; this means that she could tamper with them), because Natsuhi has no reason to kill herself as Jessica thought she did. Additionally, Alliance of the Golden Witch gives us two useful truths to help prove this:

“The bullet that killed Natsuhi was not fired from Natsuhi's gun; the thing that shot Natsuhi wasn't a trap, it was a real shooting murder with a gun raised and trigger pulled!”

The letter was about a duel between who should be the family head, as described as Natsuhi through her battle cry. Yasu revealed herself (dressed as Beatrice) to the children and simply waited for the explosives to go off (Rokkenjima used to be a military base of sorts, as elaborated on in Requiem of the Golden Witch).

Aftermath: It is said in the credits that Maria sent a message bottle to sea about the mass murder, but this was probably a fabrication by Yasu in order to conceal her identity to the police. The deaths by the game’s end were symbolized as “goats chewing them up,” which most likely refers to the Goat Butlers. Also, Shannon and Kanon can apparently exist as different beings inside Purgatorio, possibly because it is described by Bernkastel as “Beatrice’s realm,” and that Beatrice herself is a representation of the rules of the games (she doesn’t know about Yasu yet).

Pure Theory: Lastly, in Twilight of the Golden Witch, it is implied that Yasu committed suicide by drowning in the real world after the massacre and Battler tried to save her. Unfortunately, he didn’t succeed and instead suffered major brain damage and amnesia, making him a new person (Tohya Hachijo). This would mean that the only logical explanation for Battler not knowing anything in Legend of the Golden Witch and thinking it’s his normal life is that when both Yasu and Battler (Tohya’s former life) arrived in Purgatorio, Yasu started her game plan immediately.

Bonus: Here I will talk about how I think the Umineko universe and its writing works. It’s a bit simplified, but I hope I make sense.

Real World: The universe of Umineko When They Cry has multiple layers. The main two consist of fantasy and the real world. The message bottles are Yasu’s plans to murder the entire Ushiromiya family, but she never went through with them. In the first and second episodes, we see two of her message bottles in action. In addition, Ikuko’s novels (the third to sixth episodes) are based off of Yasu’s other message bottles that we haven’t seen.

Fantasy still plays a major part in the real world and how it shaped the characters. As seen in Twilight of the Golden Witch, Tohya comes to terms with everything in the end, with all of the magic and human characters around him. This was not just for us to see nor was it only an ending that wasn’t supposed to make sense. It would imply that the magical perspective of Battler and his adventures with Beatrice was part of Tohya’s thoughts and his regret over Yasu’s death.

Fantasy and Magic: Ange also has these types of thoughts, as revealed more clearly. Starting from the third (mainly the fourth) episode, we see that she uses Maria’s diary to escape in a fantasy world and go back into her past where she played around with the members of Mariage Sorciere. Bernkastel embodies her nihilistic thoughts of her life and the people around her. While it is supposed to look like the Ange we see in each episode is traveling to one world to another, it is actually a linear explanation of her experiences with a bit of magic added in.

The eighth episode concludes Ange’s journey, and shows that she has come to terms with everything that has happened to her family and herself. Ange in the seventh episode can be interpreted as what Tohya imagined she would feel when she discovered the truth, as Requiem of the Golden Witch is basically Tohya discovering the truth. This includes Yasu’s whole history, not just her plans to murder the Ushiromiya family.

[zqwxce]

Unsent Letter to Homie

09/19/21 | 2:26AM

Dear homie,

In your journey, there will be "in between times" of transition. You may feel lost, confused, angry, unseen or empty. Don't confuse these times of transition as a forever state of being; or being broken. You are breaking away from what was, creating space to welcome what will be.

And during these times, I'm part of that. I'm honored to be part of that kahit for temporary. It's okay. Ako lang to si Shai, hello. Remember what I told you back when we had our first one on one sesh sa house nyo? That's my purpose for each guy I meet until the right one, who will be with me through thick and thin, comes. Siguro, my expectations went high when I met you 'coz you really felt like a home to me pero siguro for the time being lang din pala. I wanted for you to stay but you have a life and you need to explore it within the control of your hands. You need time and space for yourself.

Sorry for pressuring you. Sorry for being pushy. Sorry if I acted too much. Sorry for becoming a burden. Sorry for being complicated. Sorry if you met me and got to know me. I'm a mess. I'm a very complicated puzzle that everybody finds it difficult to understand. I hope I can turn back time when everything between and about us was still peaceful. Let's stay friends na lang talaga habang maaga pa, just as it was before our I love you's came out from our mouths. Stupid brains. Speaking in behalf of our feelings when we haven't explore it yet. Hahaha We didn't think too much about it. Let's stop whatever may lead to romance. Our goal is to be the coolest tito and tita. 😉

Don't say you need me when you don't. You can ask favor from me as a friend without being sweet naman ha. I'm a good friend too, okay? I'm one beep away always. And I hope someday, my one beep away person will come to my life too.

Don't say you miss me when you really don't. You can tell me naman, let's catchup, I'm bored, let's eat out. Friends do that too, okay?

Please don't look for anyone in me. I am Shai. I'm a woman too. I'm a little girl who has dreams too. I deserve to be loved for who I am and I deserve to be kept too.

And don't say you love me when you don't mean it. Please 'cause it's hurting me so much. Friends do love each other without saying it.

Let's not overthink about our relationship. This is what we called the Platonic Love.

Anyways, I wanna talk about things I want to thank you. First, thank you for letting me meet the Straw Hats Crew hahaha and oh the Demon Slayer too. I will try my best to finish them before my birthday. Thank you for being there with me and for listening to my crappy day to day life. Thank you for feeding me. Thank you for overcoming my fear sa dark part ng sea. Thank you for being my savior and my legit lucky charm. Thank you for showering me with your love and care. Thank you for making me laugh with your monotonous tone (I'll miss this side of you.) Thank you for your time and effort. I really do appreciate it. Lastly, thank you for your existence because your existence saved me and kept me alive when I was on the verge of giving up. I somehow see Pret in you and that's enough for me. I'll see life in a different way now.

Moving to things that I'm gonna miss about us. I'm gonna miss your catfish dimple thing sa cheeks mo similar to Pret. I'll miss that especially when I know you're smiling sideways. I'll miss your "mahirap maging sweet" kasi epic fail tayo when we want to be sweet. I'll miss our movie mara together, our one piece marathon, our steak and seafood sessions. davao doc carpark realizations.. I'll miss our one on one alak sesh. I'll miss our "oops ako muna magcr" I'll miss taking videos and photos of you. Baka maging photographer na ako neto because of you hahaha Ma-miss ko yung kiligin ako sayo tapos para akong si chopper. Also, our midnight cooking and snack-ingssssss. Steaksss and oh lechon baka na sakit sa batok. Our spontaneous beach getaways.. Our songgssss that we share to each other whther its new or not and your woobly dancing hahahahaha. Mayo with noodles too uwu. Gym sesh. I'm gonna miss us sa sparky bed lol. I'll miss the way we make kilig things and we're very much vocal about it.... I have lots to miss about us reallyyyy and our bonds. You're like my soulmate. Oh, how I wish it will last long..

And oh, thank you for Zeno. Thanks to you one of my bucketlist of becoming a dog mom happened!!! My first pet ever. I promise I'll take good care of him and the next time you'll see him, he's as big as you na hahaha! Thank youuuu soooo muuuuch! He's gonna remind me of you na. Awieeee.

But real talk...

I hope you recover from all the pain you went through and are going through. Damn. You are one of the strongest persons I know. I should learn from you to be honest. Know that I'm proud of who you become today regardless of your past. You are who you are today. I hope you will still be the same kind and bubbly Kharllo and Homie I knew from the time I met you. I want you to remember that it was really nice meeting and knowing you. And I hope someday, we can go to Japan and explore there. You will always be a part of my heart. I will never forget you. I miss you and I will miss you.

Sincerely yours,

homie 🥰

P.S. You're always one key away. And I'll forever be your secret friend, your buddy, your homie.

DONT FORGET TO HIRE A DRIVER. 😂