#i try not to think about it too much
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every time there's a (chain) restaurant that stops using finnish meat i die inside a bit. like. first of all your image will suffer. it's more ecological to get things made near you. you should realize that even if you don't care about anything. and yeah i barely eat meat but i do care about animal wellbeing so i'm capable of understanding that since people at large will keep eating meat, it's good to support the industry in a country where it's actually mandatory to treat your animals somewhat well and raise them in clean environments and where antibiotics are only used if an animal is sick. and not as a preventive measure so you can raise them in dirty environments. does antimicrobial resistance say nothing to you. also this is exactly why, if i had a pet, i'd be unwilling to buy them food that has meat from a country where i don't know about how the butchery works. bc it supports everyone from the animals to the consumers and their pets and whatever to have meat that's raised with prevention of diseases with the help of systematic health care work and hygiene and literally just not dumping antibiotics into poor animals in poor conditions. thats how you get e coli. my god. all that so you can get slightly cheaper ingredients. insane.
#the burden of knowledge#i try not to think about it too much#but unfortunately i have done research and listened to rants from a friend who has an education in being an animal keeper like she's#qualified to work on a farm and also she's a vet tech and insanely knowledgeable about dog and cat nutrition and also a vegan who#understands not only the finnish meat industry but that of some other places too#who is willing to explain things to me as if i were 5 years old every time i get confused by something regarding this stuff#dont get me wrong i do read like actual sources but she helps#and loves to rant about this#which. so do i. but i know less so i have less to rant about.#anyways. i get not wanting to support the meat industry but doing that where i live guarantees safe food for both pets and people alike#idk what im even going off about im just annoyed#ive seen bad takes#leevi talks
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the fact that harry will have gone to brazil before I did after the pandemic is 🧍♂️ so weird. like. name 3 cities in brazil harry. exactly. so.
#I havent been since january 2020#probably will only go#august 2024#so :/// I mean I guess more than halfway there#but thats a long time#but it is what it is#:(#i try not to think about it too much#cause it breaks my lil heart#to think about my grandparents#my baby cousins#etc etc#like I have 3 baby cousins as in under 7#and I don’t think they really know me at all#maybe the oldest one rmrs a little?#but the younger 2 no way#oh I have another one not really a cousin but like a cousin#she def doesn’r rmr me either#hard as fuck#but my grandparents are by far the hardest#my dad too#but I have seen my dad one time at least last year cause he came to visit#sacrifices I had to make and I’m ok w it but it doesnt mean it is easy
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I actually, sincerely, literally had a license to piss because of health issues I have. It also gave me a free pass to carry a water bottle which was banned contraband at every school I ever went to and also let me continue to wear skirts still even after my school system implemented a school uniform. Which directly led to a reform of our uniform since it was seen as unfair by other students and their parents that I was the only student allowed to wear skirts so technically it's thanks to me that wearing a skirt as part of the uniform is allowed by my public school system. And teachers still didn't give a singular fuck and liked to try and tell me I couldn't use the bathroom, lolol.
#i try not to think about it too much#but thats a thing#cause and effect i guess#then again last i knew students were still finding where i went around the school with tape putting homestuck references everywhere too so#legacies i suppose#anyways i had a license to piss my entire school career and it didnt help much lolol#like teachers still tried to tell me no i cant use the bathroom rn and all that#and i have so many urinary health issues man#its such bs
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I am having a lot of gender feelings recently
#Sel talks#I'm so tired#I'm tired of waiting to love the life I want#I'm tired of living w unsupportive parents#I keep seeing someone else in the future I want and it's so frustrating that I can't be them#I worry about that sometimes#If one of the reasons I want to transition is to become someone else since I can't see myself (now) in the scenarios I want in my future#I try not to think about it too much#Or give myself justifications#Always thinking about why I might want it for the wrong reasons#But am I not allowed to want things for the wrong reasons??#I'm tired of fighting w myself
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(I point. Gently, in the voice of somebody who’s mind touched by the outer gods, i whisper truth in your ears:
Your honor the horses are now lesbians
(Anyways here’s the designs)
#mlp#based off my mlp redesigns (no i will not be taking criticism)#mlp redesign#fluttershy is now a giant jacked carnivorous shire horse with anxiety#rarity is a trans queen and she’s carrying the plot on her back#applejack’s been bequeethed the oldest child syndrome after the traumatic death of her parents and learned to do taxes at the tender age of#13?? how do horses age#and rainbow dash is both loved and reviled by her pegasi foundry because she has ‘too much gryphon in her’#(but she FAST AS FUC BOI.)#anyways pinky’s my favorite. we don’t know whats up with pinky but she smiles a lot and the world distorts around her at exactly 1014 am.#twilight is celestia’s favored pupil prophet and is trying her best to figure out what the hell is up with pinkie and failing spectacularly#twilight also hatched a dragon from an inert stone and people have opinions about that#mostly ‘what are you feeding her’#(holds rarity and applejack) i think they’re neat together#they bond over growing up too quickly and have a vi-caitlynn thing goin on#(squints) didnt draw the cute mark crusaders but they’d be like. the batmen of the town. and it was fun and games until twilight heard#and gave them ACTUAL weapons#rarity#applejack#rainbow dash#twilight sparkle#fluttershy#pinkie pie#spike the dragon#I FORGOT SPIKE#spike’s a stone dragon that hatched from a stone egg. he is not meant to exist. he’s an elderitch horror and a baby boy and we love#and cherish his adorable little face#art#critdraws#Rest your Weary Hooves in our New Found Home
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"smaller mass" you say
#she was punted first. the implications of nori still being in the pit when uzi comes down later#long post#i think. does it count if theres a lot of images and they are long#too lazy to draw 4 more lazy backgrounds so just pretend they're falling#or a second cyn. im losing my touch#struggled so hard to draw her.stupid people proportions kinda#go read ad astra per aspera its so good im munching#no like genuinely i love it so much its what got me thinking about this post#not dead just too busy reading ao3 twenty four seven to actually draw anything#art#murder drones#murder drones nori#murder drones cori#i think cori is a really funny name#murder drones cyn#murder drones flesha#cw blood and gore#thanks tumblr user digitalcatastrophes#if only i knew how to animate. not trying my old method again
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Angela Orosco Silent Hill 2
#in anticipation of the incoming remake#i tried my best to imitate the SH font but#silent hill#silent hill 2#angela#angela orosco#theme of laura (reprise)#i've said it before but in spite of its occasionally clunky diction i think silent hill 2 is an unusually emotionally intelligent game#for any year and still today but especially so for where gaming storytelling was in 2001#and for as many pitfalls a story like hers could've dipped into i think it particularly shines through with how they treated angela#not just choosing to depict victimhood as something that can be ugly and fractious and open quote “difficult” but then this#actively rebuffing james for trying to be a white knight and dressing him down for it too#“i know you mean well and want to help but this isn't a simple problem"#“and it's really hurtful and a bit insulting that you act like you can”#the switching to a first person view turning it into an address to the player as well#maybe even old videogame tropes too#“this isn't some princess in a castle kind of situation dude this is more serious than that”#it felt like a very deliberate statement about the depth and severity of a trauma like this#and in doing so showing it so much respect#then angela just leaves#and you never see her again#i really don't think it was to imply that it consumed her i think it was to underline what was just said#this isn't your problem to fix#this is where your part in this story ends#there's some strength in that
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Have you seen my little lad?
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jin zixun#Everytime I have to write his name I feel like I'm running outside in a blood rain trying not to get wet. Misspelling it feels so inevitabl#But so far so good! He doesn't have too many more appearances before he gets Cheesed.#Dear god I love it when characters go on the war path for someone they care about.#And I love it even more when you have an ambiguity between personal debt and genuine act of selflessness.#WWX saving WN is purposefully messy! Like a lot of our real life reasons for how we act - there isn't a clear single cause or answer.#Sometimes we forget that we are a collection of experiences and learnt reactions.#Sometimes we forget that what we see on the surface is not the point to address. Everyone is more complex than we think. Even yourself.#And yet...it always comes back to love doesn't it? Attachment styles and self-esteem and bonds and relationships to others.#Everything comes back to love and our perceptions of it.#WWX is on a self-destructive war path and he will absorb as much damage as he can for those he feels obligated and attached to.#Does it make him feel needed? Does it give him purpose? Does it ease anxieties of the past? I do not think there is an answer.
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This is one of my favorite minor details in Dungeon Meshi, firstly because what in the femme fatale, but also because it's one of those little things that raises so many questions about worldbuilding.
The Occam's Razor defense attorney in me says that Ryoko Kui gave Kabru a boot knife because she wanted him to escape from his bonds here. And Kabru is a very competent swordsman, why wouldn't he have a boot knife, sure. He's already got a dagger, he can have this too.
And yet: the implications. Kabru, why do you have that? That is not remotely something that could be easily accessed or used in combat. Nobody is pulling out a pen knife from the heel of their boot during a fight with a monster. It's useless in the dungeon ... unless you're the type of person who isn't just worried about monsters.
I've mentioned this before, but I consider one of Kabru's functions in the narrative as being the character who fully brings the idea of human ecosystems into the story. There's a reason why he's always connected to large groups of people (Toshiro's party, the Canaries). He (along with Mr. Tansu, briefly) introduces the reader to the social and political forces working on the dungeon, showing us that none of this is happening in a monster-filled vacuum. His confrontation with the corpse retrievers, who very nearly kill Kabru's party permanently with their reckless murder-for-money scheme, reminds us that monsters are not the only things that prey on humans. Kabru understands the ways the dungeon causes people to put profit over human lives.
We only get hints of it in the story, but like any gold-rush-style economic boom, it's implied that there is a lot of crime and corruption surrounding the dungeon.
So yeah, it really makes me wonder why Kabru keeps a tiny knife in his boot, meant to be carried on him even in situations where he would otherwise be unarmed. Stored exactly in the place where it's easy to reach, even if, for some reason, your hands are tied behind your back.
#Dungeon Meshi spoilers#Kabru#Kabru of Utaya#using that tag even though I'm ethically opposed. it's fine#dungeonposting#musings with Dea#btw I'm genuinely not trying to imply anything weird here I really do think Kabru has Seen Some Shit#Kabru and his pre-canon pseudo-espionage lifestyle#this was supposed to be??? more of a joking post? but I talk too much#I mean I'm only thinking about it because it IS funny. Kabru. what the hell do you get up to in your spare time.#he didn't even stop to think 'oh no what do I do'#he was just like 'good thing I have a knife in my boot'#even if this was his first time being tied up it just makes me feel like he was prepared for this kind of danger#maybe Milsiril taught him this too
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my sibling is sick and is sleeping out on the couch tonight which means i have our room to myself. time to stay up way too late reading the aotc novelization
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CIA and company, has never used opressed groups as means to an end - yo are in actuslity a bad person for thinking it could happen today
Such scenario is impossible and operation northwood was just a simple suggestion
Tonkin Incident accusations are just word salads
War on Drugs was just a mass-delussion
I’m not mutuals with many people but please repost.
#there is a problem yes but it's not that big of a deal#i try not to think about it too much#but happy go luckey attitude#is too much#logic#requies naught but contempt#false flag#war on drugs#tonkin incident
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Heirloom and Honor:
In which we feel the weight of our history and bear the burdens of our responsibilities.
This took… way too long… here’s the background only version w all the little Easter eggs and such.
Some progress images! From layout to finish.
This is my most ambitious piece to date…maybe my last fanart for a while haha 😞😞
Some lore thoughts going into this illustration — feel free to ignore:
I was thinking this takes place in S2 in the Zianna Ro’Meave rescue arc, where Garroth returns to O’Khasis after many years to rescue his mother…He comes across their oldest (historically, the first in Ru’aun) cathedral and finds it in a wrecked and pillaged state.
The pious folk have pretty much abandoned the cathedral following Zane’s disappearance for 15 years and the Tu’la invasion was the nail on the coffin. The cathedral is completely barren of life except for the few intact stained glass windows that recount the history of the Divine Warriors.
Around this time it’s revealed that Garroth is the current holder of Esmund’s relic— is he anxious? Lost? Jumpstarting his quarter-life existential crisis?
I hope that everything here in this illustration captures my vision and conveys it to you. This is pretty much a love letter MCD HAHAHAHA
#garroth ro'meave#garroth#mcd garroth#mcd#minecraft diaries#aphmau#aphblr#aphmau mcd#mcd aphmau#aphmau fanart#minecraft fanart#god I think about the divine warriors too much#this takes place when Garroth visits O’Khasis for the first time in years when he’s trying to rescue his mother#I like to think that the cathedral in O’Khasis has been abandoned since Zane’s disappearance 15 years prior to S2
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Made in the Image of Bill
Closeups of the quality gets roasted (just like bills family) ->
#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#silas birchtree#silas birchtree fanart#gf bill cipher#bill cipher fanart#bill cipher#BRO I LOVE SILASSO MUCH YAYAYAYAYAYAYAHAHAHAGDGAHAVAAAA#YAYSGDHSHSGAHAAHAHAHA#ROTTING CORPSE#I LOVE IT SO MUCH#HOT TAKE MAYBE BUT THIS IS A BETTER VERSION OF MICHEAL AFTON#I LOVE THSI SO MUCH BROO#BILL#PEAKED HERE#BILL LITERALLY PEAKED WITH SILAS LMAO#also I love this his name means forest so it’s like a birch forest#Minecraft reference oh my gooodd#ANYWYAS#YES#ILL STAND BY THIS AND DIE ON THIS HILL#I FULLY THINK THAT#like bro bill went absolutely crazy#and indulged in every selfish thing he wanted to#HE WAS COPING AHAHAA#like#I just know everytime he reminded his multiple wives that he was the local epic god he would secretly mope about his family#idk maybe the his traumatic backstory beans on my mind too much and now I’m trying to include it into the narrative of EVERYTHING HES DONE#the book of bill#book of bill
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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I want love affection but I can’t get it. I fully believe I just don’t deserve it, not pretty or smart enough to be loved, not beautiful to look at.
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now that twitter is dead in brasil i might as well go back to posting here uhh
#also ive gotten extremely hyperfixated on this game jesus#not even funny how i can only think of them. theyre everywhere. its been months#this is a cry for help how do i stop thinking about disco elysium#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#harry du bois#kimharry#also this lowkey feels like old school destiel art but im trying not to think about it too much#bissexual background colors and all
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