#i truly am my own worst enemy
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#FOR SOME REASON#FROM THE HOURS OF 12 TO 3 AM#I CAN GET A BUNCH OF WRITING DONE???#EVEN THOUGH I'M YAWNING AND TIRED AND WANNA SLEEP#I'M SOMEHOW WRITING#DESPITE BEING SAT IN FRONT OF MY COMPUTER THE WHOLE DAY AND FORCING ME MYSELF TO WRITE ONTO THE GODDAMN PAGE#I truly am my own worst enemy#I am my own worst enemy#why#why am i like this#screaming crying throwing up#screaming into the void#writing funny#writing woes#writing struggles#writer's woes#writer's block#writers block#creative writing#writerscommunity#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writing#writer#ao3 writer#ao3#archive of our own#writblr#writing life
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Crowley's subtle but devastating shift in expression before and after Aziraphale's "you're the bad guys" comment (I need to be sedated)
#ranna word dumping#it's LITERALLY giving “his eyes softened”#in the WORST WAY!!!!!#you can just see his heart shatter a little more from those eyes and eyebrows#the spanish flu must have returned because i am severely unwell#i hate making discoveries that hurt me so much#i truly am my own worst enemy#good omens#good omens spoilers#good omens 2#good omens season 2#go2#good omens 3#aziracrow#no nightingales#ineffable husbands#ineffable divorce#crowley#aziraphale#crowley and aziraphale#aziraphale and crowley#crowley x aziraphale
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There’s nothing quite like opening the planning doc for a fic you haven’t worked on in a while to see that your outline STOPPED AT THE LAST CHAPTER POSTED
#the elf talks#Ah yes. the assurance from my past self that I wouldn’t possibly forget this plot#and present me who definitely forgot#I truly am my own worst enemy
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The crisis of being a writer who plans far in advance is that I've got so many incredible moments I'm just dying for you to see, but some of them will take over a decade to see the light of publication.
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me checking off arbitrary boxes on my imaginary checklist: ok so now that i finally drew something that didn't make me want to rip the hair out of my skull, i can finally re-focus on writing.
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Idk why I'm cryptic as fuck in my writing notes...
One of the scene descriptions in my outline just says "Mesh'la"
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN MAX??? (I know what mesh'la means)
That is the least helpful thing I've ever written
#Everything I do is to make things harder for my future self#I am truly my own worst enemy#max says things
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*gets up at 5 am to get stuff done
*spends three hours watching hockey highlights*
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#did a somewhat practice driving test today and fucked up like 3 times 😔😔#so . good job it was only a practice bc otherwise thatd been a failure 😣#but like. after discussing it. i truly am my worst enemy#bc my instructor has said past few weeks the amount of times i second guess myself or lose confidence#is when everything goes wrong and that usually i’m actually doing okay#but bc i start fretting i mess up 😭😭😭#and tbh its smth i already know. ive always been my own worst enemy with literally everything#and its so frustrating#i feel like im so close to getting it right and being ready#but i literally got next weeks two lessons and then its test day 🧍🏻♀️#i feel like the only positive is that she at least said i handled the lesson much better than she thought i would 😭😭#and that except for those 3 big mess ups. i passed off most mistakes quite well#its the most amount of times shes had to physically stop me/move the wheel for me 😔#but if she thought it wasnt an absolute disaster then im taking that as a good thing#next week ive asked to practice parking bc every time ive like. done it fine so i actually dont know how to fix parking mistakes#i mean i know its small adjusts but like ive never actually had to do it 😭😭#and even tho in lessons ive parked in the lines everytime. knowing my luck during the test will be the one time im out of the lines#and will need to fix it 😭😭#personal
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Broke my unspoken self-imposed rule of not engaging in discourse on tumblr, mostly because I assumed I would be ignored as always lol. Don’t worry everyone I won’t make that mistake again
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Pleaaaaase Zevran and Lucanis 💖
Note: I got the request for Zevran and Lucanis A LOT. So there will almost certainly be more banters between them. I'm still grasping Lucanis and am rusty with Zevran, so consider this a trial run as I feel out their hypothetical dynamic. Enjoy!
___
Lucanis: The worst crow in history standing at my side.
Zevran: So it seems.
Lucanis: I should kill you.
Zevran: Yes, you very much should.
Lucanis: The crows' reputation never truly healed from your humiliation in Ferelden.
Zevran: Humiliating for you, perhaps. That story ends very well for me.
Lucanis: Are you really going to argue perspective while I debate your life?
Zevran: Seeing as you haven’t killed me yet, why not?
___
Zevran: So, how much did you cost?
Lucanis: Three-hundred sovereigns. Starting rate.
Zevran: My that is impressive. I was a mere seven.
Lucanis: Your talon agreed to contracts worth only seven sovereigns!?
Zevran: Oh, it is contracts we are discussing.
Lucanis: What else could we be discussing?
Zevran: How much we were purchased for of course.
Lucanis: You were… purchased?
Zevran: From a pen of brothel bastards. Where did the crows buy you?
Lucanis: House Dellamorte does not purchase our fledglings. You are born. Or you are chosen. I was born.
Zevran: Ah. This explains so much.
—-
Lucanis: I was not aware any crow houses still purchased recruits.
Zevran: But, of course, it is the simplest way to find them, no?
Lucanis: No. The simplest is to scrape the gutters of Treviso. Plenty of far more willing recruits to find there. Free of charge.
Zevran: So purchasing children is beneath you, but feeding off the desperate is not?
Lucanis: With how many fledglings already never reach the rafters, I’d rather not waste the gold.
—-
Zevran: What did the training of the first talon entail, Lucanis?
Lucanis: Torture.
Zevran: Yes, obviously, but what kind of torture did Caterina favor?
Lucanis: Beatings. Starvations. Often combinations of both.
Zevran: You are not good at being specific, you know that?
Lucanis: Once, I’d been challenged to starve in a windowless stone cell for an entire moon. At the end of the third week, the servant tasked to bring me only water and a new chamber pot left the door unlocked.
Lucanis, cont: I waited, but no one returned. I dared to venture out to where Caterina stood on the other side. She scolded me for falling into such an obvious trap and used her cane to break every bone in my arm.
Zevran: Ah, there is the difference. My talon would have taken the whole arm. And never provided a chamber pot.
Lucanis: Fewer hands hold fewer knives. Making for a more poor assassin.
Zevran: Another difference. It seems your grandmother lacked not only discipline but creativity.
___
Zevran: Why did your cousin not simply kill Caterina?
Lucanis: She is family.
Zevran: So?
Lucanis: The world is made only of enemies and contracts, family is all that matters. Caterina taught us that. He could not even use his own hands to kill me. He could never harm her.
Zevran: If he cannot put aside such feelings for a contract, he is a terrible crow.
Lucanis: Yes, he is.
—-
Zevran: It surprises me, Lucanis, that I have never heard tales regarding the Demon of Vyrantium’s skills in the art of seduction.
Lucanis: I do not practice that... art.
Zevran: What!? Is it not one of the greatest skills of a crow!?
Lucanis: I was taught the heart was a target. Not a toy.
Zevran: There are many ways to strike at a target, you know.
Lucanis: But not all of them so needlessly cruel.
Zevran: Cruel? If you know someone is on the last night of their life, you might as well help them enjoy it, no?
—-
Zevran: What is the longest you can last with your head held beneath water, Lucanis?
Lucanis: Eight minutes if I can manage a gasp first. Six if I cannot.
Zevran: Ah-ha! I can manage nine minutes with a breath, and seven without.
Lucanis: With how much you like to talk. I do not believe that for a second.
Zevran: Fine. Meet me in the baths tonight, and I’ll prove it.
Lucanis: And I’ll prove you wrong.
Zevran: I knew you could be fun.
—-
Zevran: So, if you have any questions regarding the techniques I showed you-
Lucanis: Don’t.
Zevran: -Or require another demonstration. I am happy to oblige.
Lucanis: Stop.
Zevran: That is not a no I hear. I’ll be waiting. Patiently.
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age origins#dragon age 2#lucanis#lucanis dellamorte#zevran arainai#Zevran
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Desire and Blood (Chapter 2)
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Targaryen/Strong OC (Jaenara Velaryon)
Tags: AU - canon divergence, enemies to lovers, arranged marriage, Targcest (uncle/niece)
Wordcount: 5.2k
Summary:
Against all odds, the love between childhood friends prevails and the Dance of Dragons is avoided.
However, peace comes at a cost. With the unexpected proposal of marriage between Alicent Hightower's son and Rhaenyra Targaryen's only daughter, can love truly blossom between sworn enemies? Or will Jaenara Velaryon be reduced to a mere pawn?
Love may yet arise where enmity once thrived, but Aemond's relentless pursuit of power threatens to shatter everything they hold dear, including each other.
Notes: Part one is linked here!
If you are liking this series, please consider showing some love on my AO3 posting of this fic :) thank you x
The doors to the council room chamber finally shut, leaving only Alicent and her two sons by themselves. A tense air looms overhead, and Aemond Targaryen sits stiff in his chair, considering all that has just happened.
I am to marry Jaenara Velaryon.
A funny feeling settled at the bottom of Aemond’s heart. Truth be told, marrying his niece was far from the worst possible marriage partner he could imagine. Aemond would never speak it aloud, but he had always found Jaenara strikingly beautiful. While she did not bear the signature Targaryen white hair, she shared their bewitching lavender eyes. Hers had always been an interesting shade, he had thought. And Jaenara had a remarkably Valyrian face. Many people amongst the court — even his mother Alicent — had stated that Jaenara was a spitting image of Rhaenyra in her younger years.
Aemond also admired his niece’s curious personality, which was an understatement. One second, she could be as cold as the winters of the north. A moment later, she would exhibit a kindness and warmth only read about in stories. She was a welcome challenge, Aemond thought.
Jaenara, he remembered, is also a skilled dragonrider. She had a strong bond with her dragon, and had quickly honed many skills and tactics that many within their family — including her brothers, had struggled with.
Perhaps there was more to admire about this match than he initially believed.
Aemond finally raises his gaze to his mother and brother.
“I never thought you’d be one to play matchmaker, mother.” Aemond tells his mother, the slightest hint of amusement in his tone. Amusement to mask his uncertainty. Alicent looks at him incredulously, wondering how her son could joke amidst such circumstances.
“Oh you didn’t know?” Aegon scoffs, “Mother has already done this before. Can’t you see how happy Helaena and I are together? Surely you and your beloved bastard will also be a sight to behold.”
Aemond opens his mouth to retort his brother's jabs but his mother beats him to it.
“Enough!” Alicent slams an open palm onto the table. Aegon scoffs once more and rolls his eyes. Their mother’s eyes hold sorrow. Guilt. She has nothing to say in rebuttal. What could be said in face of the cold truth?
Aemond is about to leave when his mother finally speaks: “You will speak to Jaenara with more respect from now on if you are expected to sit at her mother’s council…” she trails off, as if unsure of her own words.
“I seem to remember you spoke of her the same way not too long ago - what was it you called her? Plain-featured?,” Aegon says, “Though your criticism of Rhaenyra and her litter of bastards has lessened over these last few months. Has the Queen snuffed out your senses too?”
“Aegon,” Alicent’s voice is heavy, “Aemond. Rhaenyra only has everyone’s best interest in mind. She is following her father’s dying wishes - your father’s dying wish. We were both with him in his last moments…” The woman before them clad in green closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.
“I know what has happened in the past. But this is our opportunity to put it at rest…”
Put it at rest? Aemond feels disgust at his mother’s sympathies. They took my eye. They made my childhood the nightmare it was. They chipped away at me bit by bit.
“You say this about the same people who robbed me of an eye, mother,” Aemond responds coolly, “The same people who faced no consequences for this. I have seen how this has tormented you, even years later. As you have with me.”
The prince can see the conflict that bubbles below his mother’s surface. Alicent turns to her son and does something unexpected. She takes her hand in his.
Aemond’s eye softens for the smallest moment.
“My son. There is no mending what has been left in the past. But there is still time to mend the future. I only wish to see you happy.”
He shakes out of his mother’s grasp. “She will do no such thing.”
Aemond stands and makes a brisk exit for the door. Leaving his mother and brother behind, and himself to his thoughts.
Someone will pay the price. And I will make him pay for it in blood.
The prince does not find sleep so easily that night. He challenges himself to imagine the look that would grace his niece’s face when her mother would have to break the news of their arrangement to her. He wondered if her lavender eyes would narrow in disgust, her lip curling in a snarl, anger palpable. Or perhaps she had looked to her mother with quiet surrender, making no reaction and solemnly accepting his hand. He decided she had done the former. Jaenara had always been a rather animated young woman - and that was putting it lightly. Even in their youth she had been this way.
In the quiet of his chambers, Aemond finds his mind enraptured by the princess.
He is reminded of a time she had scolded him when she was a girl no older than six, and himself only seven, for pushing her twin to the ground and giving him a scraped elbow. The only person who managed to stop her tirade had been Rhaenyra. Aemond recalls the young mother scooping her twins into her arms, one flailing around still shouting at him whilst the other had tears streaming down his face. The prince smiles almost fondly from the memory, surprising himself.
The next memory that came to him happened a few years later. Aemond had more often found himself at the center of ridicule, frequently dealt by Jace and Luke. Oftentimes by Aegon too, though he chose to ignore that detail. The young prince had always felt distant to the rest of his family, as though he were different - lesser than the rest of them. And how could he not, as a dragon-less Targaryen. He was a dragon without wings. And his nephews had made sure he was aware of this. Aemond recalled how his blood boiled at the thought that bastards such as his nephews - such as Jaenara - had dragons. And yet, he did not. Was there something wrong with him? Had there been a reason his egg had not hatched alongside him in his cradle? Was he unworthy?
The taunting had reached a new level when Jaenara’s brothers had gifted Aemond a pig. Something he was much more worthy of rather than a dragon - they had said. He remembers when his nephews had revealed the creature to him in the training yard. Even Aegon laughed at him, so loudly it had caught the attention of Jaenara, who had been on the far end of the square speaking with Helaena. Aemond remembered how her gaze had turned to him - how he waited for her to join in on the teasing and laughing.
No such thing happened.
Jaenara bounded over to the group of boys, a quiet storm forming behind her lavender eyes. Helaena had opted to hang back from the debacle, watching the impending uproar with rapt attention.
“Think that’s funny, do you?” Jaenara had asked aloud when she finally reached their group.
Silence.
Jaenara continued, “I seem to remember that you yourself Jacaerys - you have made very little progress in even mounting Vermax.” The young boy averted his attention to the ground, suddenly very interested in a mound of dirt near his feet. The reprimanding had not stopped there.
“And you-” She turned to Lucerys, “You on the other hand may be able to mount your dragon, though you find yourself on the ground within seconds.” She looks between her brothers, and then to Aemond. Each holds their gaze with the other for a few moments.
“Neither of you have any room to be acting as though you are real dragon riders yourselves.” She seems to have finished, turning on her heels and running back to Helaena.
“AND TAKE THAT PIG BACK!” She yells over her shoulder. Aemond watched as his sister and niece strode away, arm in arm. He returns his attention to Jace and Luke, whose faces are the same shade as their house colors. Aegon’s laughter fills the yard again.
This incident had shown Aemond a different side of his niece. For an instant, he was filled with an immense regret for all the times he had ever been cold to her. The times he had called her a bastard. The times he had joined in on Aegon’s belittling of her and her family. She had taken all of that - for years on end - and still defended him. He couldn’t really understand why.
He can do little to prevent his least favorite memory from entering his mind. Aemond takes in a breath and closes his eyes. He remembers the night at Driftmark. The night he had claimed Vhagar. The night he lost his eye.
That time had been different. Jaenara had not been present when the fighting had broken out - not until Rhaena had frantically found her and told her of what was transpiring, unsure of what to do herself. When his niece entered the room, Aemond had been on top of her brother. The sight had sent the young girl into a frenzy and, without fully understanding the context of the situation, she had flung herself onto Aemond and wrenched the boy off of Lucerys.
“Get off of him!” She had screeched. With her arm wrapped around Aemond’s neck, Jaenara threw herself back and they soon found themselves on the cold floor. “What do you think you-” Her question remained unanswered at this moment - this singular distraction turning Aemond’s attention towards his niece. He remembered the bewildered look on her face, her black hair coming loose from her braid. Her white night dress and the light purple robe that clung to her. A bead of blood on her bottom lip. She had always had a bad habit of biting it, Aemond had noticed. Hard enough to draw blood. The blood began to trickle down her chin.
It was the last thing his good eye had ever seen before Luke split open Aemond’s face, from his cheek to his forehead. His own blood splattered onto Jaenara’s powder white gown, staining the cloth forever.
Darkness. A scream.
Aemond sat up in bed, blinking away the rest of the memory. He opened and closed a fist. Yes, he was sure of her response now. Jaenara was not happy about the prospect of this union, and had surely let her mother - and the entirety of Dragonstone - know this. Where she lacked Velaryon parentage, Jaenara’s Targaryen fierceness made up for this tenfold.
She will meet her match.
Aemond would swallow his pride - swallow his grudges against his niece, and become her husband. Though, he decided, she should not expect much from him. He held no love in his heart for her. Surely no romantic love. He would use her as he needed, to obtain what he wanted - power. That, and retribution for the slight that his family had suffered in having Rhaenyra as their Queen. Though some of the weaker members of his family would not see it his way.
He circles back to the dark thoughts that had crossed his mind earlier. He would be doing his soon-to-be wife a favor in getting rid of her twin. She would be made heir to the Seven Kingdoms. It was probably the closest act akin to love Aemond would find himself capable of accomplishing during their relationship. And he would help her to rule. He was nothing if not helpful.
He could make it look like an accident. He had previously considered poisoning Jacaerys. Aemond would not act until a comfortable time into his marriage, so as not to raise suspicion. Though he decided, suspicion would be raised regardless if the heir were to suddenly drop dead in the middle of dinner. He hardly thought that hands clenched around the throat, skin purple, and eyes bulging out of his head would seem inconspicuous.
Poison was out of the question.
Aemond Targaryen feels a sudden sense of dread in plotting his own nephew’s demise. The dread only grows when he truly pictures carrying the act out himself. If he were ever to be discovered, The Realm would christen him with the title of Kinslayer.
To be a Kinslayer is to be despised by The Gods. To be damned to the Seven Hells.
Aemond is unsure if he harbors enough hatred in him to carry out the act, though he certainly is no stranger to being on the receiving end of such hatred.
He considers if he possesses enough complacency to suffer the consequences, should they be dealt. He wonders if his heart is as hard as everyone else believes it to be.
And yet…
Unable to find sleep, Aemond climbs out of bed once more. He dresses and finishes the outfit off with his long black cloak, throwing the hood over his head.
The One Eyed Prince slips out of the Red Keep and ventures into the Streets of Silk, hoping to find some semblance of comfort.
— — —
Candlelight illuminates the face of the young princess as her eyes scan the pages of a rather large, rather dusty book. In the days before their inevitable departure, Dragonstone had become a whirlwind of busy servants and flustered royals. All of Jaenara’s possessions had been packed away and taken to King’s Landing ahead of time with the family’s servants, save for the text seated in her lap. In such a tumultuous time, the young woman found solace in its pages.
Jaenara had read the story of Rhaenys Targaryen, one of Aegon the Conqueror's sister-wives, so many times she felt she could recite the text backwards. Visenya had been a sister more remembered and revered by history for her valor and fierceness as a warrior; though Jaenara found herself drawn to the gentler sister. Rhaenys was more of a revered politician than a feared warrior. To Jaenara, she was just as formidable. She wanted to be like the Queen. Loved and feared.
A knock upon the door turns her attention away from her histories. Jacaerys enters her chambers and lingers at the door for a moment, before resigning himself to sit next to her on the plush bed.
“Jace,” Jaenara breathes, closing the text.
Jacaerys looks over the book.
“Again?” He attempts a small smile.
Jaenara gets up from her place on the bed to create some distance between her and her brother. She places the book on her writing desk, taking mental note not to leave the book behind when she leaves tomorrow. “I find comfort through her in times such as these.” she responds shortly.
Jace sighs, “You have been avoiding me.”
“You have made it easy.”
“Nara,” Jacaerys begins to sound annoyed, “You are not the only person who has had to…adapt to this change.”
Jaenara turns swiftly towards her brother, loose raven tresses swaying behind her wildly, “No, but I am the only person amongst us who had had their hand sold to a snake. You cannot understand my grief, Jace! You are betrothed to Baela - sweet Baela. You two actually like each other. But I am condemned to be the conciliatory sacrifice of this family.“
You are being unfair. Jaenara says to herself — she knows it to be true. You are being difficult. But she cannot help it. Her twin was afforded the luxury of being born a man. A man who did not have to face the same realities she currently found herself in.
Jace shifts on her bed, frame creaking under him. He seems to struggle finding his words, “I…you are right Jaenara,” He sighs, “I do not know what it is like. Just as you do not know what it is like to now be heir of the Seven Kingdoms.”
She glances at him and her twin continues.
“We both have the burdens of our parents to bear. We wear crowns too heavy for us.” Jace is solemn.
Jaenara bites her lip hard and lets out a shaky breath. A sickly sheen of guilt settled in her stomach. It was true that she had not considered what the rest of her family had been feeling of late. She seats herself beside Jacaerys and the bed groans under their weight once more.
“I am sorry Jace.” Is all she can muster up.
Jace places a reassuring hand over her own. “You may yet make some use out of your upcoming marriage.”
Confused, Jaenara looks to her brother.
“Aemond is a fierce fighter. He is well versed in the histories and philosophies. I hear he has become a knowledgeable strategist. He rides the largest and oldest dragon, who is no stranger to battle.” Copper eyes meet lilac eyes. “And with you as his wife, he will be in our pocket.”
“He would be a formidable ally to have. But Aegon holds a seat on mother’s council - not Aemond.” Jaenara asserts.
“I as heir and you as his wife could sway this decision.”
“Mother has not even been crowned and you are already scheming.” Jaenara’s words are not so chiding as they are playful.
“Not scheming. I only hold our best interests in mind.” Jace tells his sister.
She looks him over once more. When had they become so…grown-up?
“You tell me you are fearful of wearing the crown one day…I think you will come to wear it well.” Jaenara softly smiles as Jacaerys scoffs and rises to his feet.
“Just think it over, Nara,” He turns to the door, “You must rest. We rise early in the morning and depart for King’s Landing.”
Before he leaves, he throws a glance at his sister over his shoulder. “I won’t let any harm come to you…from him.”
Jaenara does not let on how much the words mean to her. She has always disguised her true feelings under a cover of dripping sarcasm. “You need not worry about me, brother. Perhaps you should protect him from me.”
Jacaerys laughs and leaves again.
As Jaenara climbs into bed, she considers her brother's words.
Where he may prove to fail as a husband, he could make up for as an advisor. A weapon.
The princess blows out the candle and dreams.
In her slumber, Jaenara is face to face with Aemond Targaryen. He stands opposite to her, in front of a throng of people. She looks down and sees herself clad in an ornate dress of scarlet, white, and gold. Her black hair is pinned up in several twisting braids. The One Eyed Prince looks to his beautiful bride, eye full of admiration. For a moment, she thinks he might love her.
She thinks she may like that.
Suddenly, gasps are heard around the crowd. The gasps morph into shouts, scattered all over the Great Hall. A sharp pain. Jaenara feels a sticky warmth envelop her cheek, and feels something dribble onto her wedding gown. She reaches a trembling hand up to her face, pulls it back, and watches blood soak her palm, dripping below her wrist and all the way down the length of her arm. The wails echoing throughout the hall only grow around her. It is maddening. A sickening pop makes her blood run cold and she watches as one of her eyes rolls onto the floor below.
Her husband’s mouth moves yet his voice comes out delayed, a haunting chorus.
An eye for an eye.
Jaenara wakes to another knock at her door.
“My lady, may I help you dress?”
The princess wills her breath steady and wipes the sweat from her brow.
“Come…come in!” She calls out to her handmaiden.
There was no time to dwell on the meaning of dreams.
— — —
Prince Aemond sits across from Helaena as her children busy themselves with their toys. A handmaiden hands Jahaerys a toy dragon, which the boy launches at his brother.
“I think I will be glad to see them today,” Helaena says suddenly, looking up from her embroidery, “In truth, I have missed Jaenara.”
Aemond continues to watch his niece and nephews play as he answers his sister, “You may be the only one amongst us who feels that way,” He mutters, “Though I do remember how close you and Jaenara were as children.”
Helaena had been an even lonelier child than she was now, as a lonely young woman. Always murmuring words that his family could not understand, and did little in trying to understand. Aemond had always felt sorry for her. But Jaenara did not seem to mind her aunt’s off putting nature. He recalls them as young girls, running throughout the castle gardens together, trying to catch butterflies. He remembers as they grew older, a few young ladies in court had taken to calling his sister, Helaena The Hysterical.
Before Aemond could put an end to the name calling, Jaenara had done it herself. The girls in court would not so much as look at either of them wrong.
And most of all, Jaenara listened to Helaena. Something nobody in his family seemed to do. Not even him, in truth.
“I would hope you two can become close as well,” She gives her brother a wistful look, “You are to be married.”
“I think us siblings are doomed to hold strained relationships - at best - with their marriage partners.” Aemond replies.
Helaena looks down at her sewing. Maelor and Jaehaerys fight over a wooden horse. Aemond’s sister remains in front of him, though she looks as though she is worlds away.
“Those child led astray finds solace in the embrace of the sea.” she whispers.
Aemond’s attention is redirected from children to mother. A silence passes over him and his sister’s handmaids.
More innocuous ramblings, he thinks.
A servant enters the door to inform the sibling’s of The-Queen-To-Be’s arrival.
“Come, sister,” Aemond begins, “Alicent will be waiting for us. She wishes to receive our family in the Great Hall.”
Helaena sets down her embroidery and looks up at her brother, “A dragon’s ambition foretells his own undoing.”
Aemond chooses not to hear her words.
— — —
Jaenara and her family’s reception in the Great Hall could not have felt more strained. Guarded expressions and tight lipped smiles adorned Alicent and her children - though Aemond and Aegon had not smiled at all. Helaena seemed blissfully unaware of the anxious energy surrounding her. Jaenara had sent a secret smile her way - a genuine one. And though she felt her uncle’s eyes boring into her, she refused to meet his gaze.
Rhaenyra had been displeased by the whole ordeal, hoping to ease tensions at dinner. Jaenara found herself remembering the last dinner she had shared with her entire family and thought it to be an impossible task.
Jaenara had spent the time before dinner settling into her new chambers, though all her belongings had already been settled into place before her arrival. The room felt more inviting than her chamber’s in Dragonstone, which were drab and dreary. Though, this was the only silver lining she could find about her circumstances thus far.
When the time had come to prepare for the evening, the princess disrobed from her riding leathers, the smell of dragon peeling off along with them. Her handmaidens help her to dress in a gown that Rhaenyra had picked out for her.
I do not even have the agency to dress myself now?
Jaenara stepped into a dress of crushed velvet, a dark teal in color. The neckline was embroidered with pearls, illuminating her collarbones. The sleeves of the gown hang loosely and open at her wrists, revealing a pale cream color which lines the teal. A belt of silver bangles mixed with pearls hangs around her waist, crested above the teal, cream, and aquamarine shades of fabric that pool to the floor. The attire bore the unmistakable air of Velaryon fashion. The wearer, not so much.
Portions of Jaenara’s dark silky hair were re-braided into a ring, as if it were a crown sitting atop her head, while the rest of her hair remained loose. Black waves ran down her back like a waterfall.
Her ladies had been told to do this, to help her into a fine gown. To adorn her ears and wrists with bangles. To fix her hair in a way that flattered her face.
To impress him.
She almost laughs out loud at the thought. Jaenara figured that Aemond would find her as charming as he had found that pig he’d been gifted all those years ago.
She decides to regard him similarly, despite her thoughts drifting to long platinum hair that she envied so much.
Her maids had finally finished with their work.
Jaenara is sitting around a great wooden table in the dining hall, with the entirety of her family. Servants have begun to deposit plates filled with meats and vegetables and pies and cakes all around. The clanking of plates and silverware fills an otherwise quiet room. Jaenara is begrudgingly sitting next to her uncle, and Jace and Luke shoot her looks of pity from across the table. She picks up her glass and takes a swig.
Suddenly, Rhaenyra Targaryen speaks, “I wish to clear the air,” She begins and everyone looks up from their plates. Alicent Hightower seems especially stiff.
“I do not wish for this to be a time of tension and formalities - though I do thank you,” She looks at Alicent directly, “for your welcoming reception earlier today. I want us to speak freely amongst each other. I want only what our father, Viserys, wanted.” She makes a gesture towards her siblings at the end of her sentence. Aegon clears his throat.
“There is much to discuss in the coming days, but I want this to be a night of camaraderie and celebration.” Her mother stands, drink in hand, “Let us raise our glasses-”
Jaenara feels herself melting into her chair.
“-To the union between my cherished daughter, Jaenara Velaryon, and the prince Aemond Targaryen. May their union bring strength and prosperity to our noble houses, and may it be blessed by the gods." Her voice held a hint of cautious optimism, echoing the hopes and dreams of a realm poised on the brink of new alliances.
Jaenara lifts her glass, as well as her attention to the man next to her. Aemond is already looking at his niece, a smirk on his face.
To everyone’s surprise, Alicent Hightower rises from her seat. She looks less burdened from the words of Rhaenyra.
“Thank you, Your Grace…for your unflinching understanding.” The two women share a look, “And to Jaenara and Aemond. A lovely match indeed.”
Helaena begins to clap, though no one else around the table shares her sentiments.
Aegon lets out an audible laugh at the toastings, “Apologies,” he adds quickly, “I am just so - overjoyed by this…marriage.” His voice drips with sarcasm.
Jaenara forces a smile, though her eyes shine with a different expression, “I am happy this match pleases you, uncle.”
However, Aemond does not let the jab pass unanswered. "I hope your joy does not swell too greatly, brother," he retorts, "for dragons have been known to breathe fire when overshadowed."
Jaenara sits up straighter when she sees Aegon roll his eyes and throw back his cup. She regards Aemond with a quizzical gaze. The princess regarded Aemond’s retort as nothing more than a brotherly spat. Before any more slights can be passed around, the servants finish bringing out the rest of the food. The family begins their dinner and small conversations break out amongst those resigned to sit next to each other.
The princess watches her brothers laugh with Baela and Rhaena. Sees her mother and step-father speak with one another. She pushes her food around her plate.
The sudden sound of Aemond’s voice makes her jump, “The cooking of the castle staff does not please you?” he asks, amused.
Jaenara stops playing with her food and her eyes cut away to her uncle.
“The first conversation you wish to have with me - in years - is whether or not I like our meal?” her voice drips with condescending skepticism, “As if the fate of the realm hinges on my opinion of pigeon pie?”
He tsks at her, “Always so difficult niece. I am only attempting to make conversation. An endeavor that seems beneath you - a pursuit you avoid at all costs if it is with me.”
“You are just…quite bad at it.” Jaenara remarks.
It is Aemond’s turn to take a sip of his drink to hide his annoyance.
“I do enjoy that…costume you’re wearing. But you are more a Targaryen than a Velaryon - don’t you agree?” Aemond says lowly.
Jaenara knows his remarks are meant to be demeaning, though she tries to take it in stride. She was a Targaryen after all. And she was pleased that she acted so much like one that people took notice, even if it was Aemond. But an insult was an insult all the same.
Exasperated, Jaenara turns to the prince fully, “Is this what I can expect when married to you? Insults thrown at me for all my days to come? You should know I can deal them out as well, twice as hard.”
Aemond chuckles, “You are too easy and quick to provoke, Jaenara. You are too tense.” She sees something flicker beneath his eye.
Aemond took pleasure in goading his niece, reveling in the predictability of her fiery responses. More silence passes between them. The prince watches Jaenara force a few bites of food into her mouth and continues to eavesdrop on conversations around her. Daemon whispers something to Rhaenyra, and her mother takes a glance at her daughter and half-brother. Jaenara winces.
“You asked what you can expect being my…wife,” Aemond’s surprisingly soft gaze is already fixed upon her, “You can expect a union that does not harbor any illusions of love. But one founded on mutual…respect. Understanding. We shall navigate this pact with the grace and duty befitting of our situation if you would only allow it.” His words somehow put her at ease.
Jaenara is perplexed. Maybe her mother had been right in saying that Aemond had changed. Though she was skeptical of his remarks. It was yet uncertain whether they could truly let go of all that had transpired in the past.
Although, the princess felt ever the faintest tinge of disappointment at his words.
“Well…” She begins, though her words do not come out as strong as she would like them to under her uncle’s intense stare, “I am…pleased to hear that. We do not have to feign ignorance then. I expected nothing more from us.”
To Jaenara’s dismay, Aemond seems amused. It is not so often she stumbles over her words. His gaze lingers over her. He takes notice of the pearl that sits prettily below her collarbones. He watches her eyes fall to her hands, which she wrings in her lap. Jaenara finds that she does not like how being at a loss for words makes her feel, and decides to throw back her drink, trying to find comfort in the bottom of the chalice.
#hotd#house of the dragon#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen x oc#aemond targaryen fanfiction#aemond targaryen imagine#hotd fanfic#house of the dragon fanfiction#the one eyed prince#aemond one eye#aemond x oc
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Nah, Shoichi is so real for his stomach aches
I too accidentally manage to cause myself physical harm through psychological distress
My favorite example of this is stress makes me hyperventilate… which makes my lungs freak out because I have asthma and my body is like “I KNOW WHAT TO DO HERE!” (It doesn’t) Which makes it harder to breathe which scares me which makes me hyperventilate more and
I’m sure you can see where this is going.
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Astrology Observations🦋
*as always* take what you want, leave what you want
*based only on my personal experiences with people with these placements*
🧚🏻cancer venus: if you've ever felt love from a cancer venus then i hope you know how special it can be. does it feel like love-bombing at times? sure. But i find it beautiful how unabashedly they throw themselves into someone they like. can it be suffocating to someone who isn't fully ready to commit? sure. but its impossible not to root for them.
🧚🏻taurus venus: wonderful, incredible, sensational style sense. thrift shop royalty. impeccable taste. can look good in anything - simply because it looks like a carefully curated outfit when in reality it took them probably 5 mins to throw together.
🧚🏻gemini venus: attracted to people who show them endless fascination. enjoys playing questions games to get to know people. knowing someones favorite color or season may seem pointless but they genuinely find a person's answers interesting.
🧚🏻as a fixed sign .... i have found i clash the most with cardinal signs. they infuriate me to no end. I enjoy the dynamic nature of mutable signs more.
🧚🏻Leo sun/moon: listen....even when you meet one and they tell you: "i'm like the most un-leo, leo ever! I hate being the center of attention!" they are LYING. either to you or themselves or both. i understand why taurus get the bad rep for being stubborn but leo's are stubborn in the way they believe they fully are the best person in the room at all times....which in a way i am almost envious of them? they have a kind of self-love that is unflinching.
🧚🏻virgo suns: make extremely well bosses. are very diplomatic and fair in how each worker is treated and never takes anything personal.
🧚🏻Sagittarius suns: for some reason.... the ones i have met and been around (ones who all identify as women) present themselves as extremely proper and pious in social settings. they love to be seen as the most put together one - especially in work-place. quiet in work environment ... but will talk your ear to death if you're sitting next to them at a dinner party
🧚🏻*trigger warning for SA* 🧚🏻scorpio placements. particularly sun,moon and mars. experience deep sexual trauma. over and over and over again in their life. started at an early age. continues to be taken advantage of throughout their lives. easy for them to associate self-worth with being sexually desired in a negative way. doesn't trust a person if they seem innocent at first, it always turns into some form of a violation.
🧚🏻gemini placements: listen to more lofi style music or instrumental. music without lyrics.
🧚🏻gemini moons: i know i've said this before in a post, and its a common understanding with gemini placements, but they genuinely are extremely talented with foreign languages. learn them quickly. hear them spoken for a while and can pick it up naturally.
🧚🏻moon opposite saturn: i'm so sorry. i know how hard it is. the depression, the anxiety, the constant self-doubt. you are truly your own worst enemy. i'm sending every person with this placement all my love.
🧚🏻libra sun & moon: have i ever truly had a deep convo with these placements? no. do i still love their company? yes. but it tends to feel surface level with them. they are not talented in expressing their thoughts in a spoken or written way without it sounding....childish. maybe its just me .... either way they would still be the first person I invite to my party. they make me laugh. maybe it's their childish naive view of the world i love. maybe I wish i could see it that way.
#taurus#aquarius#aries#astro notes#astro observations#astro community#astrology#gemini#venus#sun signs#cancer#leo#virgo#libra#Scorpio#Sagittarius#capricorn#Pisces#moon signs#random zodiac observations#zodiac
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Evey dreamed about him, sometimes, on the nights she actually slept. Half of the time, sleep eluded her with the skittish determination of a fugitive, and she tossed and turned in her bed for hours on end, grasping at whatever brief fragments of sleep she could. About a hundred different things swirled in her mind on those nights. What could happen, what needed to happen, the dance of taking a few steps forward and a few steps backward. A revolution didn’t happen in a day, after all. Rome didn’t fall in a day. On the nights she did sleep, exhaustion usually left her mind black and dreamless. A total oblivion that passed as quickly as blinking. But sometimes – sometimes, like a small miracle – she dreamed of him.
Resisting the terrible evil urge to start writing fic for a movie with a near-nonexistent fandom when I'm already working on two original stories and a multichapter fanfic and have several oneshot concepts for the fandoms I'm already in
#i don't know what i'm doing lmfao#i am truly my own worst enemy#ace rambles#ace writes#i make no promises that this will be posted or even finished. we'll see okay.#oh and just to be clear this is v for vendetta fic lol#AUGHHHHGHASFAHGHS
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⋆·˚ ༘ * ❁ Yandere Sage ❁ ⋆·˚ ༘ *
"Sage—! No.... no, please."
"... Starlight, wake up. You're having another nightmare."
"I... L-Link, Sage, you're... you are you. Thank the Goddess."
Fuck the Goddess. "Another nightmare?" If Hylia truly cared for you then why would she torture us both? Why would she give you so called 'prophetic' dreams that may never come true?
"Y-You were covered in malice. There was blood everywhere and Ganondorf was dead!"
"Hmm...? Why is Ganondorf being dead... a bad thing?"
"The Gloom hands were listening to you. You weren't human anymore. Y-You were—"
"A monster?" Darling, I'm already a monster, but I'm your monster. Your Goddess made me a monster. I haven't been man since I first was awoken to save Zelda.
"Standing over the dead bodies of the Chain. Y-You were kissing me. They were all dead, Sage! Dead. What i-if it was more than a nightmare? What if that will happen? The Chain has done nothing but help us, Wild especially."
Wild? The man that is nothing more than a shell? He doesn't even talk! He's a weaker version of I and yet you give him so much attention. Is he better than me? Do you love him more?
"You worry a lot, little priest(ess)."
That sounds like a dream. The Chain has been nothing more than a distraction since they first appeared here. Taking you away from me. Helping you. Protecting you. Loving you. That's my job.
"I am not going anywhere. Come watch the stars with me. The ones that you fell from." My starlight. My angel. My god(dess).
"T-The Gloom hands. The others."
"You can see them right there. They're sleeping. And as for the Gloom hands... if I could control them... that'd make my job a lot easier."
"O-Okay, you're right, Sage. You're always right."
Yes, I am. If you only listened about us joining this stupid Chain. I could have you all to myself, but no. You wanted other Links who could help me. You're too sweet for your own good.
"How are you feeling? Being the hero and all."
"I feel like I kind of want to eat a rock right now." and slaughter all of your worst enemies.
#linked universe#sage linked universe#yandere male#yandere#yandere writing#yandere themes#drabble#yandere character#lu sage#yandere linked universe#tears of the kingdom#legend of zelda#legend of zelda fanfiction#reader insert#reader imagine#sage x reader#yandere sage x reader
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saw you wrote for Charlie and I desperately need to read Charlie fanfics that aren’t my own. So here I am, being that girl, who is requesting a Charlie x FemReader in college. I was thinking that they’re in the same class and Charlie thinks she’s beautiful and tries to work up the courage to ask her on a date. Nothing crazy, just something fluffy and sweet ❤️
M’am, you helped really ignite my love for Charlie Dalton with your brilliant work so I am truly honored by this.
I hope you love it!
Doodles - Charlie Dalton
Pairing: Charlie Dalton x Fem!Reader
NOT MY GIF
For as long as he could remember, Charlie always opted to sit in the back row of every class he ever attended. He loved that it gave him a chance to drift off when needed.
It was no different when he attended Harvard University.
He took a seat and opened his notebook, ready to doodle for the next hour and a half. Just as he reached for his pencil, the damn thing fell on the ground.
He leaned down to grab it when another pair of hands got a hold of it first. His eyes trailed up the hand and he found himself eye-to-eye with her.
Her being the girl who sat next to him. When she took the seat next to him on the first day of class, he thanked whatever higher being there was for giving him the opportunity. But just as he went over to talk to her at the end of class, she’d left.
Before every class he’d promised himself he’d talk to her. Talking to pretty girls had always been easy for Charlie. He’d never had a problem talking to girls.
Why is she any different? he thought to himself.
The answer came on the second day of class when she giggled at one of his doodles and suddenly, Charlie felt like the king of the world.
In the next couple of classes, he would doodle something and she’d smile or giggle. Sometimes it was a characature of the professor, other times it was just random doodles.
And yet, he’d never uttered a word to her, nor she him.
Until now.
“Can’t draw without your pencil,” she chuckled softly.
The fact she was smiling at him made him lose his breath. For the first time in his life, Charlie didn’t feel worthy of a pretty girl’s smile.
He took the pen, trying to hide his own smile. “No I can’t.”
She took the seat beside him as he stared off, excitement brewed inside. She’d noticed him. She probably did only because she was curious as to why he stared at her from the corner of his eyes.
He wasn’t sure why but something inside of him - maybe it was the old Charlie - told him to seize the opportunity.
So, while the professor droned on and on, Charlie was busy conjuring up a way to ask her out. Then he realized his answer - a doodle. But it needed to be good enough to get her to say yes.
That’s when he started drawing a flower. He tried with a rose first but it proved to be a difficult task. Rose petals were not his strong suit.
So he started on asters. Asters had to be easy right?
Wrong. Again, petals were his worst enemy as his aster pedals looked like hot dogs.
He moved onto cosmos and started to get somewhere. He sighed in relief. He was finally getting somewhere.
That’s when he saw a folded note on his desk. He picked it up and in cursive handwriting it read, “No boob drawings today? Are you ok?”
He looked over at her and she smiled at him. He smiled back and mouthed, “you’ll see.”
He continued on with his cosmos flowers until he felt it was enough.
Now it was time to bring it home with the question. What could he write to make this girl go out with him?
That’s when it hit him.
=================================
As Y/N gathered her stuff at the end of class, she noticed a folded piece of paper on her desk. On it was a handwritten note.
OPEN ME.
She opened it to find a bunch of flowers sketched out all over the lined paper. Then, in the middle of the page in red ink, it read:
I suck at drawing flowers, but I’ll have some real ones for you on Friday night. Meet me at the library at 7 pm.
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