#i tried to be punny
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
"Do you care for a swim, Deviant? I may not be a sea witch...but I can give you a few hours under the sea. I won't even charge you your melodious voice in exchange. Though I wouldn't be opposed to a few kisses."
(@pinksparkl @fuzzy-melonlord @thatweirdomidas @vind3miat0r I swear...someday I will remember to tag before posting)
#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redacted gavin#i tried to be punny#yet still flirtatious#i apologize in advance
98 notes
·
View notes
Text
local plant dad supports his child's transition !
#technically the trans part of that statement is hypothetical but the same could be said of the word child so shh#this is just a silly lil post of my silly lil guy#the translation calling choki scissors caught me off guard but it is. u could say. quite punny aha !#blue lock#nagi seishiro#choki#ba-ya#<- i tried to google what her last name is. instead i learnt that we have a wikipage on choki but not her </3#episode nagi#<- 90% sure this screenshot was from that. it might have been marinating in my drafts for a day or two#maz rambles
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
hold on wait im unable to Scribble rn but i had this Lights Out interaction in my head and i need to put it somewhere before i forget. Okay so the scene is Howdy, Poppy, Frank, and Wally are all having quiet time in the post office. just vibing.
Howdy: i'm going to say something harsh
Poppy: that's alright. we understand <3
Frank: go ahead, it's better than bottling it up
Howdy:
Howdy, near tears: you're all so boring i think it's actually killing me
Poppy / Frank / Wally: ...
#he would Kill for one of barnaby's jokes#i imagine that when wally announces someone else has woken up howdy sprints through the darkness to the storage room#so so ready to have his Pal™️ back. someone with a sense of humor! someone he can really talk to! Enrichment for the Enclosure!#and then he gets there and its. its fucking eddie#he would break down sobbing...#he'd hold a completely uncalled for grudge <3#wh lights out au#of course wally would take it literally and start trying to remember jokes barnaby taught him#of course its been so long that he doesnt remember any but hes Trying#at least his attempts confuse howdy enough to bring Some sort of... entertainment? can it be called that?#i think all three of em would try to either make jokes or deeper conversation with howdy#but hes just too fast and punny for them... they cant keep up or they cant relate i think#at least he and poppy can hold conversations about their large families#until they remember that hey! those families were fake memories! they never even existed!#and then they get really sad. wally tells a horribly butchered joke & frank tries to distract them with bug/plant facts
161 notes
·
View notes
Text
Make some room, Goostarion...
Karlachatoo joined the flock and she's comin' in hot.
#Her personality definitely fits#cockatoos are absolutely goofy & hot-headed little hellions#pattern modeled after the Red-tailed Black Cockatoo#Wyll would be a red-crowned crane but there's no punny name for that crossover#Yes I forgot about the secondary feathers#telling myself it's fine#it was only supposed to be for fun#I tried to make her right-side feathers more messed up in lieu of trying to otherwise represent her scars#idk that it worked but idc enough#background is a directly from the game#my art#karlachatoo#karlach#bg3 karlach#baldur's gate 3 karlach#karlach cliffgate#goostarion#cockatoo#bg3 fanart#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#bg3#baldur's gate 3 fanart#karlach fanart
108 notes
·
View notes
Text
been obsessed w/ @freyrsarchives fic "Solace In The Deep" on A03 recently and absolutely adore their oc, inspired me enough that I actually drew her! She's literally so pretty <3
#fanart#original character#character is sequoia#even her NAME is pretty!!#anyway im rlly loving the fic so far#and the name is very punny#wordplay LOL#dont know if they intended that but#anyway i'll stop rambling now#pls excuse my poor art skills#THE PATTERN ON HER TAIL KILLED ME#its my least favorite part but i tried#sob#kinda did whatever with the front bc i didnt know exactly what was going on there#IM SORRY
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
was SO excited to read this book but had to dnf at like 4 pages
#brandon sandersons tress btw. i wamted to get into his books so bad but#i think he has better books though? my problem with thsi was it tried to be toooo punny in every two lines
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
If you have a male Betta, you should name it Max
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Spamvil winning out over funny business is never not gonna be the biggest tragedy in the utdr fandom in my eyes.
#fun ship names are always better than name smashes#how come businesses kaard won#or is it just business card#either way it’s punny!!!!#why’d spamvil win#no thematic scheme not funny#funny business both implies the antics they get up to Jevil optics on life and can be perverted to fit Spamton disconnected morals/goals#also how Spamton tries to avoid funny business but is too fucking goofy#it was so much better and y’all failed#at least I did thsi right with glittergolf#I have stronger opinions on this rather than the acid theory#utdr#deltarune#undertale#spamvil#dr funny business
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#the worst thing about having the death of a family member either human or animal is that#when you go back through your pictures of them#you know how the story ends#and it makes all the happiness a little bittersweet#like dark chocolate#its warm and enjoyable and good enough that you keep coming back for it#but it has this bitter and drying note to it that you only remember when it hits you again#and yet you keep going back for more because remembering the good and happy times is just so sweet and warm#enough to offset the sadness until it hits again#reminiscing has its drawbacks and hindsight is 20/20 so you start to look at the photos like 'thats when it started and we didnt know yet'#and 'you can tell he was ill at this point what we didnt know anything was wrong because he still acted normal'#and 'we had no idea how bad it would get so we tried to keep things normal for his sake to keep him comfortable'#and even back before the end when it was 'he was so happy in this photo' with the heaviness of the word 'was'#yeah it was the past but it was also when he was alive#and having the double meaning carried by the single word of 'was' makes it dangerously easy to tip the weight of those emotions over#anyway if im laying down and i cry then my tears go into my ears and it feels very weird#almost as weird as living in a world without him#punny speaks#tw death mention#tw death
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
Lilac, lollipop, tiger!
D'aww, thank you!! I should probably post more, but I believe in quality over quantity!
That's so sweet! I'd like to think we're already friends! I don't ask just anyone for music recommendations, you know :3
I can't help but wonder precisely what "dumb but gracious" means in this context... Are my puns awful, but well thought-out? Is it the sounds I make when startled, followed by my quick recovery like nothing happened? I don't suppose you've seen my physical humor, so that can't be it... I'm really glad you find me funny in any case!! I try my best.
#ask#thank you muchly! not often i get non hatemail asks so it's always a pleasure!#I try not to repeat puns— in my family repeat offenses get you sent to the Punitentiary for violating the Rules of Pungagement#(better known as the Puneva Punventions)#and pun wars waged long and often around the dinner table.#i am a battle-hardened veterpun at this point. few can stand before me— though many have tried.#punfortunately. i take after my father in this regard. though my mother is quite punny as well#he likes to think he's the pun king. but we all know he's just punking#i had a few more. but i think i said pun too many by now#okay stoppun for real now#i'll be doing time for ages. ah well! c'est la vie.
0 notes
Text
But You Belong to Me (You Belong to Me) - (Yandere Jason Todd x Reader) Sneak Peak!!
Hey guys! I just thought I'd post a sneak peek for the upcoming yandere Jason Todd x Reader fic. It isn't much but hope y'all like it!
[Exerpt]
Heavy rain pelts down onto your frame, coveted in all black; what a bleak day it was, but you guessed the weather was befitting the occasion. There are three other people standing next to you also dressed in black. There was a hand on your shoulder (you don't know whose though, and you can't seem to care either), most likely in place to comfort you, or to try at least, but you couldn't focus on anything else but the too small coffin being lowered into the ground.
It was mahogany, a deep brown casket with gold details, something fancy. You knew if Jason were alive to see it, he'd hate it. He likes–liked red, he would have wanted a red one. But no, he was busy being lowered into the ground instead. Tears streamed down your face but you couldn't bring yourself to wipe them. What good would it do you? It was raining anyway.
The funeral comes to a close, although you're not sure when (how) time passed so quickly, leaving Jason, your best friend, the boy you loved, buried six feet under. You don't know what to do, you don't know what you can do. You just stand there, unable to move. He's dead. He’s dead. You’ll never see him again, he’s dead. You'll never sit on the couch with him arguing over his book of the week, he’s dead. You'll never get to stay up and watch the stars with him, he’s dead. You'll never get to tell him how you really feel, he's dead.
It's only when Bruce, his father, gently tries to guide you to the car you came in, you break. You lash out, twisting away from his hand as you trip over yourself trying to get to Jason’s headstone. Bruce and Dick, Jason’s older brother, exclaim in surprise and then follow after you. You collapse on your knees near the freshly lain dirt, sobbing with your full chest.
You could hear Bruce and Dick stop a couple of feet away from you, unable to comfort you in their own grief. That was fine though, you're not sure what you'd say or do if they tried to. They let you have your time with him, knowing it was just as difficult for you as it was for them, but as time ticks by another hour has passed and you’re still kneeling by his grave, no longer crying, but still unmoving.
You stared blankly at his headstone, still trying to realize that he wasn't coming back. When you feel someone grab your shoulder this time, you know it's Alfred. And you know what he's going to say to you, the words you’ve been dreading to hear.
“It’s time to go Miss (Y/n).” Alfred says gently, his own voice filled with grief at the loss of his grandson.
You don't say anything, your mouth opens, but no sound comes out. Alfred only sighs, before taking his leave. Good. Nobody was taking you away from here. A couple more minutes pass when you hear another pair of footsteps headed towards you. Bruce.
“(Y/n),” Bruce calls softly, yet voice still rough and raw from his own sorrow, “It’s–It's time to go now sweetie.”
You don't even turn around from where you were sitting. “No.” You say firmly.
Bruce and Alfred exchange a look.
“Miss (Y/n),” Alfred starts, “ you’ve been sitting out in the rain all day. Wouldn't you like a change of–”
“No!” You shout out this time. You flinch back from the sound of your own voice, and you could tell Alfred and Bruce were taken aback by your behavior as well.
With a sigh, Bruce decides that he'd come get you himself, any longer out here and you'd be sick for a week. His hands come around to grab you, to pull you up and you scream, kicking and fighting your way out of his hold.
“No! No, I wont leave him! I'm not gonna leave him! Let me go!” You cry, banging your punny fists against Bruce’s chest. He doesn't even flinch, he just holds you and lets you cry, kick, and scream.
“Please let me go! He–he doesn't like being alone, I promised him–I promised I'd never let him be alone.” You cry out again, your voice fizzling into another sob as your fussing stops. You just stand there, slumping into Bruce’s arms, sobbing once more.
He doesn't say another word, he just brushes your tears away and leads you towards the limo where Dick was already situated. Alfred sits you down into the limo, making his way to the driver's seat. Bruce slides in next, eyes aghast and tired, clearly haunted by the loss of his youngest. Dick is turned away from the rest of you in a similar state. The car starts, heading towards the manor.
It was a silent and short ride over, nobody daring or having the strength to say anything. The vehicle comes to a stop, everyone numbly piling out the door and into the Manor. Dinner would be forgotten tonight as everyone went to their own respective places to continue grieving. Bruce, to the Batcave; Alfred, to the Library; Dick, to patrolling the streets of Gotham (knowing that if he stayed in the manor, he’d end up breaking something); and you, to Jason's room.
You crumpled onto the maroon carpet, gazing around his room, hoping that you'd see him pop up and tell you it was all a joke. But he wouldn't. You saw his mangled body. You knew that he was never coming back. What's even worse, is that you could still see Jason’s unfinished math homework lying on his desk, the paper slightly crumpled from when he would undoubtedly grip and erase out of frustration. Mrs. Delaurier’s algebra II homework would forever remain unfinished.
You promptly break into tears once more.
[I want to preface that the reader is NOT adopted by Bruce Wayne!]
#batfamily#yandere jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#yandere jason todd x reader#jason todd#bruce wayne#tim drake#dick grayson#justice league#dc x reader#dcu#dc universe#yandere x reader#x reader#alfred pennyworth#young justice#batman#red hood#red hood x reader#yandere red hood#robin
405 notes
·
View notes
Text
summary: you sleep with the driver you’ve had a crush on for forever, should you have done it though?
notes: so this was originally a one shot request, but i think i may have gotten carried away with it. this is going to be a series, i don’t know how long it’ll be, probably not as long as the pornstar series, but more than a few chapters.
wc: 2919
warnings: !! INCLUDES SMUT, MINORS DNI !! oral (both f and m receiving), p in v sex, getting sick, pregnancy
This is wrong.
You watch as he talks animatedly with Alex and Lando. The three of them giggle as they talk amongst themselves. You softly smile as George glances your way and gives you a small wave.
You clear your throat, brush off your nerves, and approach the group.
“Alex, James wants to see you and Logan in his office.” You tell the Williams driver when you’ve gathered his attention.
“See you guys later.” Alex says, throwing an arm over your shoulder, walking back towards the Williams area of the paddock.
“You know you can just talk to him, right?” Alex asks you.
You hum as you look up at him questioningly.
“George. You don’t just have to stare at him from afar, you can talk to him.”
You shake your head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
As the person hired to be James Vowels’ assistant, you had a close relationship with both Williams drivers. You could often be found spending time with the two of them while not working. And of course hanging around Alex meant hanging around his best friend, George Russell.
It was hard to explain George. He was british, of course, so very british. He was sweet. He had a tendency to make punny jokes. He was handsome. He often found himself being used as memes in the F1 world.
He was perfect, and he was completely 100% out of your league. Even if Alex tried to constantly push you to get closer to him.
You shouldn’t be doing this.
The club was loud, dimly lit, but at the same time flashing with bright strobe lights. You swirl your drink in your glass. You didn’t want to be here, you’d rather be back in your hotel room, sleeping, or packing for the flight home tomorrow.
Alex stumbles over to you, Lily on his arm, clearly trying to keep him standing up.
“Why are you alone? Go talk to someone!” He shouts far too loud.
“I think I’m good right here, thanks.” You tell him.
“Boring.” He sticks his tongue out.
“I think it’s time to get you home. Or at least get some water and food in your system.” Lily says. “See you tomorrow?” She asks you.
You nod, then watch her walk off with Alex stumbling after her. You shake your head and take a sip of your drink.
“He’s going to be a mess tomorrow.” A voice says next to you. You recognize it immediately.
You turn to see George standing next to you, leaning against the bar, a drink of his own in his hand. His hair flops down in his face a little. His eyes seem to sparkle in the club lights.
“Poor Lily.” You say, tearing your gaze away from him.
“Poor Lily? I’m gonna be the one he complains about it to.” George laughs.
“Maybe you should just get drunk too.”
“You want to get me drunk?” George smirks looking down at you.
“No, I didn’t mean-” you stutter.
George bumps his arm against yours. “I’m kidding.”
You give an awkward laugh looking back down at your drink. “You did really well this weekend.” You tell him before drinking some more, hoping to get some liquid courage in your system.
“Thanks.” He smiles. “You guys were great too.”
“Oh, I have nothing to do with anything that happens on track.” You shake your head.
“Really? Toto runs his assistant like a madman.”
You laugh and shake your head. “No, James gives me tasks that help the team, sure, but never anything big enough to impact the races.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.” George says, taking a drink of his beer.
The two of you chat for the rest of the evening about the season, about Alex, about his career so far and yours. He brushes off anyone who tries to get his attention while he’s with you, opting to stay practically glued to your side.
Don’t let this keep going.
You share a taxi back to your hotel. You’re pressed up against his side as he tells you a story about something to do with Alex. You can’t really remember what it’s about specifically, you’re too enamored with the way the lights of the city flash over his eyes.
You laugh when he gets out of the car, his long legs making it a challenge after being cramped in the backseat. You’re still giggling when he holds a hand out for you to take to help you step out of the car. You think you can see a faint blush on his cheeks.
He walks you up to your room, keeping a hand on the small of your back the whole way there. You dig in your pocket for your key, looking up at him when you find it.
Don’t do it.
The hallway feels smaller than it did this morning, like there’s no room between you and George. You can smell his cologne and a little bit of the alcohol he was drinking in the club.
His eyes glance down at your lips, then back up to your eyes, as if he’s having his own internal battle in his head.
From there on it’s foggy. You don’t know who made the first move, maybe it was you, maybe it was him, or maybe you were both just too desperate for one another you couldn’t hold yourselves back.
You need to stop this.
His hands grip onto your hips as yours hold onto his face. Your body is pressed between his and the door. You fumble with your room key, pressing it into the lock, then blindly searching for the door handle with your hand.
George takes over, swiftly opening the door, pushing you inside, then closing it behind him.
A trail of clothing is left between the door and your bed. Your kisses become sloppier and hungrier. Your hands bury themselves in his golden hair, tugging at the soft strands.
This is a bad idea.
His touch becomes softer when he’s got you on your bed. His touches turn gentle as he caresses you, and kisses your exposed skin. His eyes look up to yours often, silently asking if you're okay, if he’s doing what you want him to do.
He spends a while between your legs, making you fall apart on his mouth. His eyes look up at you, hazy, as if he’s letting himself drown in you. He groans when you squeeze your legs around his head and tug on his hair.
You pull him back up to you so you can kiss him again. You can taste yourself on his lips.
You flip him over and crawl down to do the same with him. He reaches out, and stops you with a hand to your chin, making you look up at him.
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” You nod.
George swears he’s died and gone to heaven when he feels your lips on him. He throws his head back and lets out a soft moan. His hands twitch at his sides, searching for something to hold onto.
You take his hands and guide them to your hair, giving him control. He looks down at you, and nearly finishes at the sight alone. His cock is in your mouth as you look up at him, your eyes somehow innocently staring into his.
You take him down your throat, using your hands to pump what you can’t fit in your mouth.
He pulls you up off his cock when he feels himself getting close, desperate to cum inside you rather than in your mouth. He rolls you back over, his body on top of yours while he kisses you again.
“Condom?” He pants against you.
You reach over to the drawer by your bed and pull out a condom, holding it out to him.
He tears it open and rolls it on, then looks back down at you, still laying under him.
“Are you sure you want-”
This won’t end well.
“I need you George.” You cut him off.
He tries to be careful with you, pushing into you slowly and gently, taking his time to stretch you out around him. His control slips away from him quickly though, when you wrap your legs around his waist, pushing him deeper inside you. He lets out a deep groan when he feels you clench around him, his head dropping down to your shoulder.
“I’m not gonna last.” He practically whimpers in your ear.
“Fuck me George.” You roll your hips up against his.
He does, lifting himself up off of you enough to pull out nearly all the way, then slam his hips back against yours. His hair falls in his face as a look of determination spreads over his face.
It’s impossibly warm, laying under him. You feel like you’re drowning in him, but you’re desperate to keep him close to you.
He reaches down to play with your clit when his pace begins to falter, a clear sign that he’s almost there. He needs you to cum first, so he holds his own orgasm back. He lets go when you cry out his name, pushing your hips up against his. His thrusts die down, becoming slower as you both ride out your orgasms.
He pulls out of you, out of breath. He pulls the condom off, tying it, then walks to the bathroom to throw it away. He silently comes back to the bed and lays next to you.
You don’t know where to go from here. Should you talk about what just happened? George makes the decision for you, pulling you into his arms. You lay against him quietly, listening to his heartbeat. His breathing evens out and soon you can hear him softly snoring.
You let yourself fall asleep in his arms, deciding to figure things out in the morning.
You shouldn’t have done this.
You wake up in an empty bed. The sheets are cold even with the sun streaming in through the window. You sit up and see some clothes on the floor, all of them yours, George’s gone.
You grab your phone and unlock it, hoping to see something, but there’s nothing from him. You only have one text from Lily, telling you that she and Alex made it back to the hotel alright.
You ignore the uncomfortable feeling that’s settled in your stomach and get up to shower and get dressed. You wear comfortable clothes, something that won’t bother you on the plane ride back home.
You check your phone throughout the day, waiting to see a text from George. Your phone remains in your hand at the hotel, on the plane ride home, even back at Williams HQ.
You cave that evening, sending George a brief text after you’ve gotten home. He responds within a few minutes, and it makes you feel even worse.
It was a mistake.
You don’t realize you’re crying until you see the teardrops that land on your phone’s screen. You quickly type out an answer before tossing your phone away to the other end of your couch.
You’re sure you weren’t drunk, and you’re almost certain he wasn’t either. You’d only seen him with one drink, but maybe he’d already had more earlier? But he seemed so casual and put together the entire time you were with each other.
You leave your phone in your living room that night. You can’t bear the thought of picking it back up to see any messages from him. You figure you should feel better after a good night’s sleep, you should have a clearer head.
The next day doesn’t bring any clarity however, instead you spend the day in what seems like a fog. Your body is working on autopilot as you accompany James to the factory.
You notice your apparent discomfort when he asks if you’re alright. You plaster a smile on your face and give him a brief nod, blaming your mood on jetlag.
You bury yourself in your work for the next week, putting all of your focus on helping James in whatever ways you can. You try to ignore social media while back at home, not wanting to have to think about George and be reminded of what happened.
You know seeing him again is inevitable when it’s time for the next race weekend. You fly out with James, opting to catch up on some sleep while on the plane.
You thought being back in the paddock would be difficult, having to avoid the Mercedes garage at all costs. However, you find yourself spending all of your time in the Williams garage. You remain at James’ side as much as you can, save for the couple of times you’ve had to go to the restroom.
You figured the bad feelings in your stomach were simply nerves, but after a trip to the bathroom hunched over the toilet you assumed it was the food you had eaten on the plane.
You watch the race with Lily, sitting side by side with headphones over your ears. Usually you enjoy this part of race weekends, where you get to sit back and watch all the work the team has done come together. It’s quite hard to enjoy the race though when you’re excusing yourself to go to the restroom for a third time within an hour and a half.
“Are you alright?” Lily asks, her concern clear on her face.
You nod and shrug. “I think I have a stomach bug. I probably ate some bad food or something.”
She gives you an unconvinced nod then focuses her attention back on the race.
Logan and Alex finish in the midfield, which was expected. Lily leaves you to see her boyfriend while you join James again to go over the debriefing schedule.
Alex and Lily invite you to fly with them to the next circuit for the upcoming race. You accept, thanking them, grateful that you’ll have a little bit of time to rest during the double header.
The flight is filled with more trips to the bathroom, each of which has the couple’s concern growing.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Alex asks, offering you some water.
You nod, taking small sips from the bottle. “It’s just a stomach bug.”
“You’ve been sick for almost a week now, stomach bugs only last a couple of days Y/n…” Lily says. “Are you sure it’s not something else?”
“What would it be?”
Lily glances at Alex and takes a deep breath before she asks. “You’ve been sick for a while now, and it seems like you’re constantly tired… Is it possible you’re pregnant?”
You feel the blood drain from your face. “No, no, I can’t be pregnant.”
“Y/n-”
“No, I can’t. It’s not possible.” You shake your head. You feel like you’re going to be sick yet again.
“Have you been with anyone recently?” Alex asks you.
There’s only been the one person as of late. You can feel the tears begin to well up in your eyes. Your hand raises to cover your mouth, trying to hold in the sobs you know are coming.
Lily moves to sit next to you, gently placing a hand on your back. “It’s alright, we don’t know anything for sure. We’ll get you a test to take when we’re landed.”
You nod, trying to calm down the rapid beating of your heart.
You keep quiet for the rest of the plane ride, letting yourself drown in your thoughts all while Alex and Lily attempt to keep you distracted.
You stop at a small store before going to the hotel, you and Lily walk in alone, afraid Alex will draw too much unwanted attention.
“I don’t think you two have anything to worry about.” The cashier gives the two of you a weird look when you ask for the test that’s sitting behind the counter.
You roll your eyes and pay for the box, shoving it in your bag and walking back to the car with Lily trailing behind you.
The three of you gather together in your room, all staring at the box in your hands.
“It’ll be okay.” Lily gives you a small smile.
“We’re here for you, no matter the result.” Alex nods.
The two of them sit on your bed while you go to the bathroom to use the test. You set a timer on your phone, leaving the test on the counter.
You sigh as you leave the bathroom. Your tears have finally dried, you wouldn’t be surprised if you had no more left in your system.
You wait silently for the test to finish. Your phone beeps after what seems like an eternity. You look at the couple sitting on your bed and close your eyes.
“It was George.” You say, your voice a little rough from your crying on the plane.
“George?” Alex asks.
“Russell.” You tell him. “It was George Russell. We slept together a few weeks ago. It was only a one night stand, but we used a condom, I didn’t think this would happen.” Your voice cracks as you finish speaking.
“Do you want me to look for you?” Lily asks.
“No, I can do it.” You wipe the tears that have started to fall again and take a deep breath.
You walk back into the bathroom and look down at the test. You turn to see Alex and Lily both standing in the doorway.
“I’m pregnant.”
435 notes
·
View notes
Text
Do you need some Vitamin D? (Incubus! William x Oblivious! F! Reader) [Part 8]
~This chapter is for anybody on their period, I'm sorry, it sucks~
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* Want more or something different? *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
@ruh--roh-raggy @xp-doggy @redbunny03 @marigold-petalz @seviliet @astinkerofarat @iamnotwiddle @imtiredshow
CW: 18+ MINORS DNI. Fluff, age gap (Reader 20's - William Afton 40's(?)), teratophilia, meet-cute, punny pick-up lines, scenes of working out, minor porn-logic, ditzy! reader, could be classed as bimbo! reader?, size-difference, flirting, monster-lover, sexual innuendos, Monster! AU, mention of reader being on their period - blood - period products
A knock on the door startled you out of a deep sleep, wondering for a moment where you were as you mumbled something unintelligible and cracked open your eyes to see what was happening. William's greying head popped around the door as it opened, giving you a warm smile that made your chest flutter slightly, his hair messy like he'd just gotten out of bed too, you could make out the faint spice of his cologne which made you feel comforted as you wrapped yourself up in the duvet more.
William had to smile as he looked at you, hair messy, half-asleep and curled up in the sheets which had clearly been messed up with your tossing and turning during the night. He'd come in to offer you breakfast, or brunch rather, as he knew that it was approaching afternoon and had taken the liberty of phoning himself in so that he could spend more time with his precious little bunny.
"Good barely morning, bunny." He chuckled, making you groan and rub at your eyes with the heel of your palm. Watching you sitting up and feeling a little disappointed that you weren't wearing the pyjamas that he'd brought you. His nose twitched as he took a deep breath in, brow furrowing as his silvery eyes darted around.
"Do you smell that?" He asked, making you pause as you sniffed instinctually too, shrugging your shoulders as you felt sluggish in the morning.
"I don't smell anything. Don't you start, my landlord was weird enough yesterday." Watching his eyes snap back to you as you made the comment, his brow furrowing further and a frown developing.
"What? What's this about your landlord?"
"Oh, I have a new landlord, he's...a bit weird. He said I smelt weird yesterday too, but he got really close. I think he's maybe just a bit eccentric."
William was glad that the door hid most of his bulky frame as he felt his foot thumping unhappily against the floor, the thought of Dave being so close to you and daring to even attempt to get close enough to make him growl lowly. Luckily, you didn't seem to notice it as he turned the growl into a cough, pretending like he was clearing his throat as he gave you a reassuring smile when you looked up concerned.
"Oh bunny, I wouldn't think on it too much, but please let me know if they give you any more trouble, and I'll come by to sort them out, okay?" Waiting for your sleepy confirmation before he stepped in, nose still twitching as he tried to place on what smelt different in your room. Gently placing his rough hand on your hair and stroking it softly, making you groan and William's chest tighten at the sound. Feeling his pulse racing. "I'm going to make French toast, you want some? I even got the maple syrup this time."
"Go on then, spoil me." You teased, feeling your cheeks heating up as you wondered what it would be like if you could just summon the courage up to stand up and kiss your boss, but knowing yourself well, you were half-convinced that you would accidentally sucker-punch William in the face with your head.
"Oh I plan to. Come down when you're ready and I'll make sure everything's set out."
You watched his broad back leave the room, realising that he was wearing another tight t-shirt that showed off his dad-bod whilst still showing off how strong he was. Part of you wondered whether the coarse hair along his arms matched what might be on his chest, and if that was only because of his hidden nature.
Standing up, you wobbled slightly as it suddenly felt like your lower stomach had dropped. Looking back at the white linen on the bed instinctually. Face paling as you spotted blood against them. Hand moving to the back of your pants and feeling a panicked bile rising in your throat as your body seemed to realise what was happening and hit you with the starting dull ache that punctuated your cramps.
"Fuck."
Waddling yourself to the bathroom, you had the sense to grab the nearest set of pyjamas, feeling yourself wincing as you realised that they were the nice ones that William had gotten you before deciding against it and picking up some sweatpants and a t-shirt from the pile of laundry on the landing, only vaguely registering that they belonged to William.
You cleaned yourself up as best as you could, feeling flustered and embarrassed that you hadn't even considered that you could get your period whilst staying with William, your heart pounding as you folded up toilet-paper and placed it in your underwear before heading downstairs. Your cheeks flushed as you weren't looking forwards to asking William to give you a lift to the store to pick some bits up.
William Afton choked on his coffee when he turned to see you coming down the stairs.
You were wearing his grey sweatpants, which drowned you with how long and baggy they were in comparison to your much smaller frame. And one of his t-shirts to boot, seeing it slipping off of one shoulder and revealing smooth skin that made him swallow hard and angle himself against the counter so that you wouldn't see how hard he was.
"Wow...umm...hello?" He found himself speechless, trying to swallow down the urge to go over and kiss you then and there. His nose twitching rapidly as he seemed to bounce slightly in place, his foot tapping nervously.
"I um...I figure out it's probably me that smells weird." You mumbled, cheeks heating up as William frowned. Taking the chance to make his way over to you and gently stroke your upper arms with his large, rough hands. Making sure to stand behind you to hide his arousal at the sight of you in his clothes as he leaned in and gently began to sniff you. Making you laugh even as your pulse became frantic with how close he was to your own hormonal body.
"You seem to be right, you smell different. It's not bad! Please don't think that bunny....But are you hurt, you smell..metallic?" He sniffed again, concern lacing his gravelling voice as he continued to gently stroke and touch your arms. Wanting to be close to you, to show his affection.
"I uh...I've started...that time..."
"Time?"
"You know...."
"Bunny, you can say 'period', you know? It's not a dirty word, or a dirty thing. Only boys are scared of a normal bodily function." William chuckled as he could tell you were clearly uncomfortable, but wanting to make you feel more comfortable as he raised a greying eyebrow at you. "And I'm certainly not a boy. I'm a man."
"Technically you're an Incubunny." Watching his expression contort with confusion before he laughed loudly, making you smile as he gave you a gentle squeeze and tapped his forehead against the side of your head in a way that made you practically melt despite it being such a simple gesture.
"Come on, miss technicality, your breakfast is going to get cold. But I'll take you to the store to get whatever you need, okay? And don't worry, we can throw anything in the wash that needs it, and you can keep wearing my clothes if they're comfy for you?"
"Thanks William."
"You're more than welcome, bunny." Tapping your head again with his before he stood up, he felt better for being closer to you. Swallowing softly as he thought about what he would be able to do to help you and make you more comfortable.
And how the hell he was going to keep you away from your apartment and Dave for long enough for you to pass into the next phase of your cycle.
"William, did you have to buy everything? I could have paid you know."
"I also know what we pay you lot per shift, no way was I letting you pay for it."
"It's tampons, not gold bars, Incubnny."
"And I got you treats! What kind of man would I be if I made you buy your own treats?" William scoffed and rolled his eyes as you opened the door for him and allowed him to place down the grocery bags onto his kitchen counter. The opened box of tampons on top of one as he insisted on you not having to wait to get back to his house to clean up and make yourself comfortable, placing them to one side as he kicked his shoes off and began sorting through things in the bags.
He had to admit, he might have gone slightly overboard with it all.
William had spent a good while interrogating you before he left the car about what your favourite things were, he had to admit that the cashier had looked at him like he was mad when he turned up with a basket filled with junk food, chocolate and painkillers. It had taken everything in him not to growl, but now that you were back together in his home, he felt much more relaxed.
"Do you want to shower, bunny? I'll put something on the TV for us." He raised an eyebrow, watching you nod and head upstairs, feeling a little disappointment that you would no longer be in his clothes, but also partly grateful as he wasn't sure his heart could take much more of you being so teasingly perfect for him and yet so unobtainable.
You certainly felt better for the shower, groaning as the hot water hit your skin. William had offered to cook lunch for you on the drive back too, which you thought was really sweet. Deciding to try out the shower-set that the incubus has gotten you and realising with a smile that it smelt like pecan pie and salted caramel, thinking about how he must of subconsciously picked it since he'd already said that pecan pie was his favourite dessert. Unaware that the man had deliberately chosen it as you made sure to coat yourself in the sweet smelling lotion once you were out of the shower and pulling on the pyjamas he had gotten you. A little large, but the little bunnies over the pants and the white tank-top where cute, blushing as you thought about asking if he could let you feel more of his fluffiness whilst you were feeling your cramps coming on, making you groan and rub your face.
You knew that you were all over the place. Your cramps were ramping up and you felt your face contorting slightly as you tried to compensate for them when you carefully walked down the stairs.
William was downstairs and waiting for you, his silvery eyes widening slightly as he caught sight of you before clearing his throat and blushing slightly under his greying stubble. Chewing his lip as he held out a cold can of soda and a packet of painkillers.
"I thought these might help, they're supposed to be a combination one so they help with neural pain and muscle pain. It sounded good." You smiled at how sweet he was, internally sighing as you wished he would see the way you looked up at him adoringly. But you popped out the recommended dose and swallowed them down with a mouthful of drink. "I've also put on cartoons for you. I didn't know whether you wanted to set yourself up on the couch? I'll order pizza tonight." Smiling warmly down at you as you smiled up at him in return.
"Thanks William. You know, if I was speaking to any girl and they described what you did, I'd tell them to marry that man." Hoping that the horrendous blush on your cheeks as you could finally think clearly now that the placebo was kicking in before the actual pills. William chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Not sure I'm marriage material, bunny, just doing my best to make sure that my cute little bunny is comfortable despite nature's unfortunate insistence in making it difficult."
"Hey...Can I ask a favour?" A nervous tint to your voice as he tipped his head curiously to one side. William smiled gently, making his eyes crinkle slightly.
"Of course."
"Can...Can I hug you again...either as ...." You gestured vaguely to his body and wondered how you were going to phrase it in a way that didn't sound derogatory to William as a person. But he simply laughed and wrapped his arms around you, resting his head ontop of yours and closing his eyes, humming softly as he stroked your back. Slowly feeling himself filling out as he held onto you, allowing you to feel his already broad chest filling out as your head began to sink into soft fluff rather than pliable dad-bod muscle.
"Oh I get it, you want just one thing now you know, and it's too cute to resist telling you 'no'." Chuckling in that deep, gravelly voice as you managed to wiggle and pop your head up so your chin rested on his chest. Seeing the lapine face, complete with squished nose, fur, precariously perched glasses and ears practically meeting they were so close together at the tips. Smiling broadly as you wrapped your arms around him.
William picked you up easily, making you yelp as he carefully manoeuvred you with him bulk onto the couch and laid himself down onto his side. Holding you against his chest with your back pressed to his chest as his nose twitched happily, gently resting his head on you and nuzzling into your hair as the TV flickered with pictures of 'Freddy and Friends' show, the volume low as he placed one large paw-hand onto your lower stomach. Making it flutter uncertainly for a moment before you realised how warm he was and relaxing into it, he was like your own heating pad against your hurting back and cramping stomach.
"Thank you William."
"You're welcome, little bunny. It feels nice to be able to relax around you. You don't mind whichever form I'm in."
"That's because you're handsome either way."
"Sweet talker."
"I'm telling the truth!"
"Sure you are, and I'm actually the Easter Bunny." He chuckled, making you laugh as you smacked his arm, feeling the incubus pout above your head.
"I happen to think you'd make a brilliant Easter Bunny."
"Oh yes, the claws and teeth are especially reassuring to children." Hugging you tighter against his body and keeping his head ontop of yours, wishing the moment would never end as he tried to think of more ways to flirt with you. To convince you that he would love you and take care of you if you let him.
And you didn't want the moment to end either. And wished the stubborn incubus would notice your attempts to declare your feelings towards him. Monster or not.
#william afton#william afton x reader#steve raglan#springtrap#steve raglan x reader#fnaf movie#william afton x you#springtrap x reader#fnaf x reader#william afton smut#monster au#monster henry emily#monster william afton#incubus!william afton#incubunny
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
Warrior Nun - Avatrice: Fan Fiction Recs
let's start with favorite authors:
everything by @sunsafewriting is next level. favorite stories are favourable conditions (pirate au!! the pining in this!) and do a flip (ava and bea take care of little diego! so adorable).
seabiscuit! they are all my favorite but if i had to rank them i'd say the thought of high windows (60s AU, Bea is very repressed and Ava very gay), of greater marvels yet to be (Bea is a nun in a church archive, Ava studies theology and falls in love in said archive), pull back the curtain for venus (Bea is an alien sent to earth to explore, she falls in love with Ava, obviously) and if mine, then yours (and so all yours) (switzerland fic, Ava sees Bea naked accidently and has a gay awakening).
@simplykorra is keeping us entertained singlehandely with all her fics, my favorite remains to be let me photograph you in this light (in case this is the last time) (set after season 2, Bea goes back to Switzerland and tries to live her life like Ava wanted her to).
then some tropes etc.:
my favorite switzerland stories are definitely show me something of a reckoning (fake dating!) and the gods we can touch (mutual pining!)
christmas fluff? christmas fluff! Snapshots for the future is set after season one. Bea wants to arange a perfect christmas for Ava, even if they are on the run from Adriel.
tension! pining! Ava and her stupid (and successful) plans to make Beatrice kiss her: Hickey AU and the to do list are the way to go! (honorary mention: To climb a tree by @frenchsoda. Bea is a personal trainer and Ava is very gay for her)
the planets & fates & all the stars aligned (i couldn’t lose) by @possibilistfanfiction (every wlw pairing needs a footy au! Bea and Ava are both professional football players and fall in love, obviously)
Whisks Worth Taking (a Bake Off AU) where Ava is a punny comedian and Beatrice a five star chef and they film a baking show together
can i get your house key? where Bea and Ava are roomates and besties and secretly in love with each other
578 notes
·
View notes
Text
Miles Morales Batfam Crossover WHEN?
I've tried looking for a dark matter style crossover but with miles morales and what have i found, NOTHING??? I had some hope guys.
He would be PERFECT for a crossover fic, let that be comic miles or spiderverse miles , and you can modify the story anyway you want to make it fit in your timeline.
He is a punny kid, so many puns the batfam would die with him because thats THEIR THING- Dumb puns, in the spiderverse.
Like come on, name me a teenager, a young teenager, with no guidance at all about being spiderman (in the movies) and sure he has parents but they don't know and he is ALONE. (starts with an M)
And also he goes to school in JERSEY- guess who lives in NJ- THE BATFAM? THATS GOTHAM
There is so many ways to make it fit.
Also imagine the angst from being in a universe (if we ignore like a lot of spiderverse) and then suddenly you are 15-16 getting thrown into a different universe a nobody trained you for the worst case situation and you are clever enough to survive, but your parents must be worried sick.
And please do not give me just Duke Thomas and Miles Morales friendship, Miles bonds with ALL the family.
Dynamics i want to see ? 14-15 yo Damian wayne with Miles, Duke with Miles. BRUCE AND MILES THE POTENTIAL? two geniuses, a genius all grown and all with his issues and this meta kid who also needs guidance and has spunk.
Idk if i explained myself well but i will later at some point please authors see the potential, SEE IT
#comics#ao3#batfam#miles morales#across the spiderverse#into the spider verse#spider man#duke thomas#bruce wayne#batfamily#dark matter#Dark matter by mysterycyclone#fanfiction#authors im foaming in the mouth for at least crumbs#Miles morales duo with Tim#Miles morales duo with Babs#Miles and Cass#Miles and JASON#MILES AND JASON SEE THE VISION#Jason Todd#Miles and Duke can be such a cool dynamic and they can bond over their powers and so much stuff im so#THE POTENTIAL
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Robin Buckley and Nancy Wheeler have a well-known channel on YouTube (the name is something horrible and punny that Eddie and Robin made up, way before they blew up - Four Some (just some four guys and gals you perv). They cover pretty much everything - music reviews, various activities like ice skating, pole dancing or sculpting, they do tasting videos, social experiments and much more. Their personalities are so different but somehow that only makes their content more appealing. It doesn't matter if their videos contain Steve and Eddie replicating the famous pottery scene from the Ghost (and Robin's screeches that they ruined a completely fine vase) or Robin testing whether Nancy's vocal range increases proportionately to how many wine glasses she drinks
Gradually they grow their audience and gather a small crew that works with them. Barb Holland does a lot of editing and directing and she is getting recognized for her achievements, just like Gareth Emerson for his work with sound. Everyone in their crew are friends and are supporting each other in growing and promoting their talents.
There is only one person who has always remained a mystery. The person filming them, always hidden behind a camera. Credits always mention Chris C. and the fanbase tries to pry and figure out who they are, they really do, but the group shuts down their attempts almost instantly. "Chris has been instrumental to this channel's success," Eddie says and there is something hard behind his eyes, something that almost never makes it past his laid-back attitude and usual theatrics. "They have decided to stay out of our videos for a reason and we'd like you to respect their decision."
Not everyone drops it, but the four creators assume a united front and eventually, people stop prying. So it comes as a shock when around a year later, a new video drops on the channel. But the face in it is unknown.
"Hi guys," the young woman smiles and she looks so dejected, so scared, but the sound guy Garreth sits next to her and squeezes her hand, grounding her. "I swore I'd never sit in front of a camera again, but...I think it's time. So let me introduce myself. I am Chrissy Cunningham, but you know me as Chris C. And also..." she takes a deep breath, "I am also Chrissy from the Cunningham family channel."
Chrissy goes through it all. She talks about her life with her mother, an obsessive family blogger, who had Chrissy give up all her hobbies, her friends, her privacy from a young age. How her only friend became the school outcast, Eddie, and she had to keep him a secret too - not because she was ashamed, he meant everything to her, but because her mother would steal him too. How she could never have anything of her own, was always on camera, always tested for reactions, always forced to perform and mocked for it at school. How she couldn't handle it anymore and as soon as she was eighteen, she moved in with Eddie and his uncle. How it was only then that she started learning about herself, about who she was and what she wanted to do. "Now that you know who I am, I hope you can look past what I was made to do years ago and see me as...me. Just me."
She and Gareth leave their seats and are replaced with Eddie and Nancy. While Eddie mostly sits quietly, Nancy introduces their newest project that Chrissy suggested - documentaries on dangers of YouTube, TikTok and their insufficient regulations, especially when it comes to family vloggers and loss of privacy. "It might not be everyone's cup of tea, but that is exactly the point", says Nancy and looks directly at the camera. "We're here on camera, showing you parts of our lives that we want to show. But there are many who didn't consent to this, many who are being exploited for views. And on behalf of this chanel, let me address those who think this is okay. We're coming for you."
#steddie#ronance#drumcheer#stranger things au#steve harrington#eddie munson#nancy wheeler#robin buckley#barb holland#chrissy cunningham#gareth emerson#look I love YT#but some things are seriously fucked up there
680 notes
·
View notes