#i tried so hard but the texture bothers me so bad i physically cannot handle it

[walnutcookie]

sensory nightmare frozen chicken wings

[minkdenmilo]

💙 Autism Trait Listing Time 💙

I am self-diagnosed as of now but I'm in the process of trying to get tested and my diagnosed friend said that a lot of what I told her lines up so it's likely I am autistic.

+ Constant Fidgeting: Bouncing of my leg, Tapping of my fingers - If I stop I am physically uncomfortable and tend to shake my ankle/foot or shake my wrist/hand

+ Sensory Oveload at Noise: Usually it's not the loudness of noise for me, but the overlapping of noises. Hearing a television play a show + someone talking + someone somewhere else talking etc. makes me get a headache and I sometimes feel like crying because I can't focus or really hear myself think.

+ Sensitivity to Sudden/Loud Noises: I flinch and startle at loud noises frequently- to the point in which it is noticeable by friends. If the bell goes off when I don't expect it to or the fire alarm I nearly fall out of my chair. If my dad raises his voice or if anyone gets upset and raises there voice I instantly assume they're yelling and tense up- even if they're just raising their voice a little.

+ Tactical/Texture Sensitivity: I detest certain textures and actively avoid them like cotton balls (which feel like how nails on a chalkboard sound), fennel/rosemary, any texture in drinks, nuts in bread, etc. in which my family has noticed and teased me over. Where as other textures I adore and constantly seek out like tree bark or soft fur like textures.

+ Stimming(?): I constantly pick at my skin and when I try to stop I can briefly before I go back to doing it without thinking because it's relaxing. I constantly play with the joysticks on my Nintendo Switch to help compensate and give my hands something to do. I use a fidget spinner sometimes as well to help relax and when I get anxious I use it more often cause the noise it makes and the action of spinning it is helpful. I also do the ASL (sign language) alphabet without thinking to myself just cause it's relaxing and when told to stop I get a bit anxious. I tap my fingers together repetitively a lot and my friends have noted this and have mentioned I tend to do it more when I'm stressed or bored.

+ Hyperfixation: I have the habit of finding something I like and then focusing on it violently. When I was a kid I would watch the same three movies (Newsies, Highschool Musical, and Hairspray) on repeat until I memorized the lines. I went through a phase where everyday I watched Total Drama for like half a year- I still remember the events of each episode. If I watch a video on a video game I have to look up the Wikipedia entry on it, read everything in the fan wiki, and watch video after video deconstructing the game until I'm satisfied. I'll listen to the same song for hours at a time for a week or more and then ramble about it to my friends. My habit of infodumping everything I know about a subject bothers my families and friends. I'll ramble for an hour about an idea I have for a play to a friend before realizing I haven't shut up cause I know most people don't care about minute things like I tend to.

+ Being a Kid: As a kid I was definetely the odd one out. I would hug everyone regardless of who they were, how close we were, or if they were receptive. I just had to hug people- I would get upset if I couldn't hug people. To this day I have stuffed animals I hug because I get anxious without the physical sensation of hugging after too long. I never seemed to be on quite the same wavelength and would stare people down just randomly, even I didn't really understand why I'd do it but I would just lock eyes with someone and not stop until they told me to. People would openly mock me and it would go over my head because I genuinely thought they were my friends and were being nice (I would get called werewolf due to my messy hair and sharp teeth and I would just smile and say I preferred being a vampire). I wore the same velcro shoes everyday until they wore out and demanded my mom buy the exact same pair. I'd cry whenever someone hurt my feelings even once I turned 10 and 11. I accidentally hurt my friends by punching them or pinching them cause I didn't realize how much I was hurting them until I drew blood or they demanded I stop.

+ Routine: I hate being late. I hate being on time. I have to be 10 minutes early to everything. If I have to be somewhere at 9 and its a 30 minute drive then I have to leave the house at 8 or 8:10. If it hits 8:11 and we aren't on the road I lose it. I cry and panic and I shake like a leaf until my dad starts the car. In elementary if we were even a second late I'd sob uncontrollably and panic. Now I still cry and shake but it's not as bad. I am an avid rule follower even when I know I'm being silly. My friends and I went to an abandoned building and I was anxious that we'd be arrested despite knowing people did it all the time and it was fine. I had to stay at school after hours for a project and I wouldnt stop worrying we'd get caught and expelled even though our teacher said we could. When I was like 8 or 9 I read about how not turning off your heater started fires so every day before I left for school I'd check to make sure the heater and oven were turned off three times each. Even if we'd never turned them on in the first place. I haven't been able to focus in online school without the structure of being physically in school no matter how hard I try. When my dad takes the family places last minute I feel unbearably anxious and out of it, even when I am aware I am overreacting. I have noticed executive disfunction issues in the past and when presented with multiple things I need to do I get overwhelmed and panic and do nothing instead. I hate clutter and in the desire to clean one item I end up deep cleaning everything just because I start one chore then think of another in the process and it spirals from there.

+ Misc: I have always been the sensitive emotional child. My mom frequently teases that I never get her sarcasm. I can't decipher how people feel unless I can hear their voice and see their face which makes texting and to a lesser extent voice calling anxious and weird for me. I actively avoid eye contact with people I don't know well and avoid conversation on elevators or in public spaces. I adore watching slime videos and stim boards are wonderful now that I've discovered them. Math isn't my strong suit because the numbers don't make sense to me- I can't decipher even simple algebra equations but I've always been great at reading and I pride myself on my vocabulary and way with words. Despite this I can't give speeches or explain things to save my life even if I know exactly what I mean and want to say I just cannot verbalize it properly so I have to write down exactly what I want to say before I say it. Even then I ramble too long and my dad frequently notes I can never "get to the point and trim out the unnecessary details" but like- I can't tell which details are necessary or not. I can never be presented a broad piece of information and understand it, I need every minute detail first otherwise I cannot understand the bigger concept and thus when I speak I provide every detail to make my point crystal clear. I also feel uncomfortable around authority figures and adults- way more than seems normal- and avoid eye contact and tend to be especially anxious and respectful because adults and authority figures just scare me.

These are all just like the immediate things that jump into mind + context around them. Idk if these could actually point to me being autistic but if anyone has any advice or help then please let me know. I'm kinda worried I'm being a hypochondriac but that might just be because my dad doesn't believe in autism so I'm internalizing that.

I've had close friends say some of my symptoms seem like anxiety or OCD but the texture based stuff and the fact that I have purposefully tried to stop stimming and fidgeting and have tried to repress my natural behaviors due to being seen as like weird and "off" makes me think maybe it might be autism and I just didn't realize because I assumed everyone dealt with similar things and I just was bad at handling it.

[dakotablackwood]

Silence [Pt. 2]

Part 1, Part 2

Warnings: Unsympathetic Virgil, deception, manipulation, physical pain, bottled feelings, disguised violent threat, murder mention/joke, cursing, insults, hatred, Phonophobia [Fear of loud noises]

Ships: Loceit??? Who knows??? DLMP, other ships TBD

Prologue: It all got to be too much for Deceit sometimes. He's a flawed side, defective, useless. He isn't supposed to have these fears. He isn't supposed to flinch every time he drops something. He isn't supposed to have a panic attack when the dryer at a fast food restaurant is just a little bit too loud. It only gets worse when Virgil decides to mess with him. He thought Virgil would get better after being with the light sides. He didn't think Virgil would do anything to harm him. He couldn't hate Deceit so much that he'd hurt him, right?

--------------------

When he woke up, he almost thought it was all a dream. Well, he hoped it was. As distinct hushed whispers came into focus, he knew it wasn't. If that wasn't enough, the texture of his bed felt….wrong. He didn't want to move, he didn't want to open his eyes, he didn't want to do anything to give the impression he was awake. It made him sick just thinking about the look on their faces. He'd honestly rather spontaneously combust than have to deal with their hatred. They probably thought it was a joke, some tactic to gain their trust. That would be fine, at least they would leave it as that. Maybe it would be better that way. 

Suddenly, a specific comment caught his attention. It was quiet, and he seemed to be the only one who heard it.

"You always screw things up, don't you?" 

Deceit's eyes flew open, and he was sitting up in just a few seconds. He regretted it immediately. Not only had he caught the others' attention, but he was now dizzy with how fast he'd gotten up. His mind blurred and his vision gave out. His body started to sway while he held his head, waiting for it all to stop. 

A hand settled firmly on his upper arm. He couldn't comprehend it until a few seconds later, but when he did, he noticed that it hurt. It burned, really. As the dizziness subsided, he was able to look up and see Virgil, Logan, Patton, and Roman all standing over him. All he could focus on, though, was Virgil's hand over his arm, barely even touching him. 

Deceit had fallen back, landing on his pillow at some point in his dizziness. He hadn't felt it at all, which was weird, but then again he was really dizzy. Normally, he would've cared about the fact that he wasn't in his own room. He would've been appreciative of the attention he was getting, if it weren't for the searing pain of Virgil's hand on his arm. He was so confused. 'How is he doing that? What did I do? What is happening?'

The pain made him bite his tongue, flinching and moving around uncomfortably. 

He opened his mouth to speak, and as soon as he did, Virgil pulled his hand from his arm. Deceit gloved hand went to rub his skin where the side had touched him, "Why- how did you do that?"

Virgil mocked confusion, as if he wasn't speaking to the master of deception, "What do you mean, snake face? Are you already trying to mess with us?" He glared, but to Deceit, it meant 'shut up, no one will believe you'.

Deceit just rolled his eyes, not wanting to play these games. All he wanted was to know why he wasn't in his room anymore and how the hell he got here. He looked at the others, scanning each of their faces. Patton's was concerned, ever loving and caring. Roman's expression displayed uncertainty. Logan's was calm, but his eyes. His eyes showed concern. Genuine concern. 

One of the things Deceit can do is see true emotion through people's eyes. He was able to see how someone truly felt, if they showed it or not.

Even so, he thought even the others could see Logan's emotions if they tried. They were always so strong, but somehow, the others never saw them. They never saw how truly emotional Logan is. It seemed so obvious to Deceit, but the other seemed to have his emotions so covered up that the others just didn't quite notice it. It was so confusing to Deceit. How did they not see it?! He was upset and almost crying, how did no one notice?

It always baffled him how the others could be so smart, so attached to each other, and yet they couldn't notice things like Logan's body stiffening (hurt, upset, angry) or him going silent (ignored, surprised). Deceit noticed these things, yes, but Logan's eyes broke every little external wall he put up for himself. He could have a cold hard expression, but be incredibly hurt or excited. 

He quickly snapped back to life when he heard Patton's voice suddenly, "Deceit, are you….are you okay? Yesterday was rough for you, I imagine." He chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Deceit's eyes were still just slightly red from crying, and he could feel the dried tears on his face. He remembered every detail of last night and flinched, "Perfectly fine, Patton. I've been fine, last night was nothing. It was simply a burst of emotion that I obviously couldn't handle. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll take my leave before you all start hating me again. I'd rather not be here for that part." As he stood, he finally took a look at the room he was in. Obviously Patton's, with blue walls decorated with rainbows, kittens, dogs, stars, and every other happy thing you can think of. There was a wall of pictures and memories from Thomas' past. They showcased big accomplishments in their host's life, like when Thomas got an award and when he got the lead role in a school play. 

The room was bright and happy, everything in it was something from Thomas' past that held value. 

Patton's room and Deceit's were very very different in that aspect, despite having the same layout.

Speaking of Patton, the side frowned when he went to leave, "Wait, ki- Deceit!"

At the mention of his 'name', the deceptive side turned to look at the bubbly dad. It didn't hurt that he didn't call him 'kiddo', it didn't, it didn't, it didn't, he wasn't a kid why would it hurt- "Yes, oh so loveable Morality?"

Patton crossed his arms, "Please tell us why you were so upset. We've never seen you cry before, we're just concerned."

He didn't know what bothered him so much about that little statement, but Deceit just hissed in annoyance, "Concerned? Really? Don't even try with that. I don't do anything that important, now go do your job and stop lying to a liar. Honestly Morality, you could've called me stupid to my face and it would've been less insulting." He could taste the lie on his tongue. It was a nice, rich honey-like substance. If it wasn't for the blatant, hurtful lie he would've appreciated the taste. He craves it, and this would've been a victory if it weren't for the pain that came with it. 

"Well, I care king cobra!" Roman said defensively, "I mean, come on! We're not part of a mean person, we can't completely hate you! Have a little faith in us man, we're not that terrible." The prince huffed, looking to the side like an insulted teenager. 

"Yeah, we're not going to like….kill you or anything." Virgil 'agreed', and somehow, no one noticed the sarcasm except Deceit. 

This just made the snake faced side uncomfortable. The way the other's eyes darkened, how Virgil's smirk looked sinister to only him. It all just made him want to throw up.

"Right, well, I'm going to be in my room. While I'm there, try to keep it down for me." Deceit asked casually before sinking out. He didn't feel comfortable anymore, and he didn't need to deal with this right now. As soon as he made it to his room, he groaned and went to go look for his hat.

Now, any other side/person would've thought Deceit's request probably had nothing to do with the reason he was distressed the previous night. However, that little statement had confirmed everything that Logan had hypothesized already. He knew why he was crying, and he knew exactly what that meant. Was he going to tell the others? No.

Now you might be thinking "why not?"

Because, put simply, the others had had enough of his explanations, lectures, and definitions. He didn't think they would understand or care about what it meant either. They would lose interest, ignore him, dismiss his information as invalid.

He really did care about Deceit. He knows more about Deceit than Deceit even knows he knows about. He knows Deceit knows more about him, too. Does he care? No. He actually quite likes how someone can see past his hard exterior. 

Yes, it was hard to be the logical side. It would be harder to do his job, though, if the others hated him. Which was why he felt kind of bad for Deceit in a way. While filming SvS, he had to step in and stop the other. Not because he wanted to be rude- despite how rude it might've came off as to Deceit- but because he knew the others wouldn't listen. He knew the snake side wasn't going to get anywhere, and it was better if it was stopped before the deceptive side felt just as bad as he did when he himself was ignored. It wasn't worth it to keep going, because it would only hurt worse the longer it went on.

He made a mental note to keep the noise level to a minimum.

After a few minutes of silence, he decided enough was enough and that they were wasting time, "We all need to resume our individual work elsewhere. We are not accomplishing anything standing here except for 'effectively' wasting valuable time. If we are done here, we should disperse, as I believe we cannot properly do our part in helping Thomas without moving from this specific spot. I will leave now, and I expect everyone else, excluding Patton, to do the same. This is Patton's room, obviously, so technically he's where he needs to be. Apart from him-" He was cut off by a groan from Roman.

"Alright, alright we get it! We're leaving!" Roman said before sinking out with raised hands.

Virgil just shrugged, leaving silently with a peace sign.

After the last of the two left, Logan sighed and finally sunk out. 

Back in Deceit's room, panic was starting to rise as he searched everywhere for his hat. He just couldn't find it, and he didn't have another one. He was hyperventilating as he checked the floor for the twelfth time, sweaty with fear. It had to be there. It HAD to be there. As he searched, he felt more and more vulnerable and defenseless without his hat. He was searching for hours, having destroyed his room in the process. He was crying again by the end of it, on his knees in the middle of the room. His hair was messed up, his makeup even more messed up than before. He wanted his hat so badly, it was childish. It was so so childish but he NEEDED it. It was his hat for god sake. It was one of the only things that gave him comfort, the only thing beside it being his gloves. He felt stupid, but he also felt so….exposed without that damn hat. Burn anything in his room, sure, he didn't care. The only things he ever cared about was his hat and gloves, so be it if everything else is gone. He was so annoyed, upset, anxious. All he wanted was his hat, was that too much to ask?

Back in Virgil's room, tucked discreetly into a drawer and covered by clothes, was a little black hat. Inside, hidden from the eyes of everyone, was a little embroidery of a two headed snake.

[powerovernothing]

Korbun for every other prime number! (Ex: 2, 5, 11, 17....)

Send Me A Number, And I’ll Talk In Detail About My Elder Scrolls Character~!

2 - What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

To be perfectly honest with you, Korbin doesn’t actually remember his mother, or either of his parents. You see, he grew up in the streets of the worst parts of the Imperial City for many years, and most of those years were spent completely on his own. Meaning that any struggle, any conflict, any attempt of just staying alive that he endured until his teenage years, he did so by himself.

He doesn’t really know if his parents were there with him, and he just simply forgot about them, or he buried down the bad memories just like the rest of his childhood. Or if they simply abandoned him, and left him to fend for himself out of malice or hate. In fact, when Korbin really stops to think about it, the earliest memory that he can recall from his childhood is the very first moment that he ended up taking a life. Losing himself to the feeling of actually having control over something for once, and then realizing that he no longer needed to be afraid of what else lurked in the shadows.

They needed to be afraid of him.

But, all in all, Korbin just can’t recall his parents. He doesn’t remember their faces, he doesn’t remember their names, or their tone of voice. He honestly cannot even remember if they ever cared about him in the slightest. But considering that he was alone, for so many years, and he had rather interesting reactions to the feeling of an actual embrace – as well as the phrase ‘I love you’ – I just don’t think they were the best kind of people.

Perhaps that’s meant to be seen, and played around with in the future, but in Korbin’s case he’s a bit bias, and slightly bitter about this subject over all. But, he often is when it comes to his childhood, so that’s not entirely surprising.

(*~*GET READY FOR A FEELS TRIP KIDS, BECAUSE THERE IS PLENTY TO GO AROUND*~*)

5 - On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

On an average day? Oh, let’s see.

If you managed to go through Korbin’s pockets you would probably end up finding: A few loose Septim’s (gold coins), some crumbled up notes, and various contracts given to him by Lucien that he probably forgot was even in there, half eaten sweetrolls and/or apple slices that he was saving for when he got to camp, lots of lockpicks that ended up entangled in themselves like cheap earbuds, and some sort of miscellaneous alchemy supplies like flowers and so on.

Basically, the man is really bad at just picking things up and sticking them places and forgetting about them until much later. Also, if you don’t think he would rummage through his pockets and see the half-eaten sweets, and then proceed to down them as though they’re still super delicious, and not like two weeks old…then you are wrong, and he would.

What a mess.

11 - In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

He stands at the bottom of the staircase in a very familiar throne room, and he feels the bile rising in his throat the very instant that his tormentor rises from his seat, and proceeds to close the distance between them with a large playful smile over his face.

Every night it is almost entirely the same. Will his mind allow him to pass peacefully into the realm of dreams when he closes his eyes, or will everything that he so desired be ripped away and then cruelly shift into an endless amount of nightmares, flashbacks, of visions that he long since hoped would remain abandoned and forgotten?

Would he see the faces of The Black Hand, as they stood triumphantly over the flayed corpse of the “Traitor” of The Dark Brotherhood? Would he listen to them describe how wonderful his dying screams were, and how he should take a moment to admire the slices, and the cuts, and the results of their hard work, for surely it was nothing sort of poetic?

Or perhaps, would he stand in the crumbling remains of the Temple Of The One? Watching as the Septim Heir pulls away from his embrace, and smiles – too gently, too peacefully – and assures him, with tears in his eyes, that everything will be okay, and that their friendship meant everything to him in the short time that they had together?

But when his vision clears, and he is forced to stand in a room that he had been in far too many times before – and he hates it, he hates how he knows every color, every texture, every touch and sound, and how he always returns here, *always* – he realizes that he would have gladly taken the flashbacks, the horrible memories, so long as he did not have to physically be in the presence of The Mad God.

Korbin blinks only once, and suddenly he hears his voice before he is able to see just where he had vanished to.

“Ah, Little Raven,” Sheogorath whispers, sickeningly sweet into his ear, from where he stands behind him. Soon, his voice turns, and it is playful, and somehow that is far worse. “Honestly, what a naughty bird you’ve been! Just up and deciding to leave your cage, and without even so much as a goodbye!”

He tries to move, to get away, to put some amount of distance between the two of them, but his tormentor holds him tightly in place.

“Well now, if that’s the way that you wanna go about playing it, then I guess I’ll just have to roll the dice and make my move!” He snaps his fingers, and suddenly the familiar throne room is engulfed in pitch blackness.The only light emitting from Sheogorath’s cat eyes in the distance.

His voice is low, almost angry, and it makes Korbin violently shake in fear for what he knows is coming.

“Allow me to show my favorite little plaything just how much I’ve missed him, and why he should never think about leaving his chains ever again.”

Hours later, the sun rises over the mountains, and so does Korbin from his dreams…

…Frantically screaming.

17 - What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

Oh fantastic! More questions about Korbin’s childhood, and further ways for me to be completely masochistic in regards to my favorite boy, and his heartbreaking life and endless amounts of trauma!

As mentioned above, Korbin was on the streets of the Waterfront of the Imperial City for many years, and most of those years consisted of him being a very young child at the time. He was absolutely terrified of being on his own, and each night was practically the same. Where would he sleep? Would it be safe? Would someone attack him? Would someone try and kill him just for being there? Would they sneer and spit as he walked by, looking as though he came from less than nothing, and turn him into the guards for them to do whatever they pleased?So, for a very long time, he truly had nothing that would bring him comfort outside of a very small dagger – the only thing that he stole away for himself, just to try and keep him safe in case someone did wish to harm him – and a tattered and ratty old blanket that he used to cover himself with when the nights wore on and he was too tired to keep going.

In Korbin’s adult life, he is a man who enjoys the simple things. He enjoys a good fire, a good home-cooked meal, and he enjoys curling up with a good book underneath a comfortable and warm blanket. And that mostly comes from the fact that as a child he didn’t have these things, and the old habits truly do have some difficulties dying down.

Especially when he is not in his proper state of mind, or having a bad day. When that comes around, you can absolutely be certain that you will probably find him huddling away underneath a blanket. Wishing that the world would just go away and not bother him, until he is able to get a handle on his emotions once again.

Because that’s what his nights were like. The worst ones, at the very least. Huddled away, pulling the blanket over his face, and just whimpering until everything quieted down, and he could stop being afraid for once. (This is one of the obvious telltale signs that his adopted siblings have come to depend on when Korbin is not acting like himself. If he’s underneath a blanket, he’s probably in a bad place, and need someone to try and pull him out of it.)

And if you’re curious about whatever happened to his favorite childhood blanket. Well, let’s just say that…Korbin never enjoyed having his special things taken away from him by force. And that there was pretty damn good reasoning behind his very first kill.

23 - What does your character dislike in other people?

What does he dislike in other people? Disloyalty, dishonesty, and betrayal of any kind. Yes, Korbin is indeed an assassin, and he is indeed one of the Dark Brotherhood who do their killing for a reason. But, he is a very honest one, and is very devoted to his Dark Family at the end of the day.

So anyone that seeks to use him for their own gain, his family members, or his brothers, and then tries to harm them, to toy with them, or belittle them in any possible way…Korbin just cannot abide that, and they are the ones who die the most painfully at his hands.

Which is why in the original timeline, he slaughtered the entirety of The Black Hand after Lucien’s death, and in the restarted timeline…he throws Bellamont into a endless cycle of torment, with the help of Sheogorath’s power. He believed that there was no greater justice for the man who used him, and then took his brother away from him.

31 - Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

Korbin lays his head against the surface of the pillow that is underneath the open window of his bed chambers in Cloud Ruler Temple. His eyes are closed, and there is a gentle smile on his face as he listens to the comforting sound of the heavy rain falling down the mountainside. He places his arms underneath his head, and breathes in carefully, letting his mind wander to an enjoyable place of peace.

Lost within his own thoughts, he is unaware that he is no longer the only one in the room. Martin stands at his door, and looks towards his young brother with an amused expression, before clearing his throat and making his presence known.

“Korbin, my dear friend, just what are you doing?” He wonders aloud; walking into the room slowly, and coming over to his side to stare down at him, and then towards the open window rather quizzically.

In response to his questioning, Korbin keeps his eyes closed and his smile perfectly in place as he answers him.

“Why, enjoying the sound of the rainstorm, of course,” He tells him simply, before a chuckle escapes, and he opens his eyes to meet Martin’s gaze. “Or rather, perhaps my preferred way of listening to it.”

“And that way is…laying underneath your window, as the rain falls around you?” Martin asks; kneeling down to touch the top of Korbin’s – now slightly soaked – mop of grey with the palm of his hand. “Aren’t you rather cold to be laying here for such a extended period of time?”

Korbin turns his head more into Martin’s welcoming touch, and cannot help but allow his tone of voice to shift into something far more playful.

“Come now, brother, you know better than to worry so much!” He says with a grin, shaking his head and forcing Martin’s fingers out of his hair. He grabs a hold of it when the Septim Heir pulls away, and his voice slowly turns gentle. “I really am just fine, and honestly… I rather cherish nights like this. The sound of the rain, the cool air against my face, the feeling of closing my eyes and allowing myself to be lulled into a pleasant night’s sleep…”

His eyes dart towards the window, and his impish grin falters, and becomes much more genuine. He speaks quietly, more so to himself, than to the brother at his side, and allows his emotions to take over briefly.

“…It has always been my favorite memory from childhood. Knowing that, when the rain came, I could actually sleep without any fear for once. It is probably why I still enjoy it even now… because in some way, it makes me feel as though I am truly safe.”

Martin listens silently to the words that Korbin speaks, and he feels his heart ache in regards to what is being said. Whether an unconscious action, or no, he knew well that the subject of his brother’s childhood was always a difficult subject to discuss. Even to the point where the mere passing reference of that time was enough to cause Korbin to react in bitter anger.

And to know that he alone was responsible for this explanation, as well as the  emotions that his brother was now feeling based around years long passed, when he was so obviously relaxed only minutes prior…

...Martin felt the need to do whatever he could to help Korbin find his treasured peace once again.

Reaching out with his free hand, he touches his brother’s cheek, and calls his name just as softly. When Korbin turns his head back around, matching golden eyes with blue, Martin thumbs over his cheek.

“If you do not mind, my friend, I was rather curious about something?” He all but whispers to him, as he continues his reassuring touch.

“Curious about what, Martin?”

The future Emperor pulls from his brother only for a moment, before he lowers himself down to his side, and lays across from where Korbin’s pillow is underneath the window.

“About whether or not you would enjoy some company while you fall asleep to the rainstorm,” He holds out his hand and beckons Korbin down next to him. “After all, I believe that I, too, could use a good rest. And after you spoke so highly of the comfort this sound gave to you… what do you say, hm?”

Korbin smiles widely.

“I would say that that sounds like a wonderful idea.”

41 - Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

Oh wow, this is a very interesting question, and one that I have to say that I really enjoy thinking about when it comes to Korbin!

In all honesty, and considering his history and his overall character, I think it should go without saying that Korbin would probably believe that anything that he wants, or desires to have for himself to make him happy, or healthy, or protected, he would absolutely assume that he would have to earn the right to it before anything else.

And that could be anything from actual weapons, or relationships between the people that he values and loves. He wants to have Lucien care about him and see him as someone worthy of his utmost trust and love? He wants Martin to know that he can trust him, and that he will never do anything to let him down as he helps him get upon the throne?

He has to earn that.

He wants to have better weapons to make his contract and assassination work easier and safer? Then that means that he has to earn the right to those weapons, and keep working with his less than perfect ones – possibly even broken ones – until he is able to feel as though he really did earn better equipment after all.

After all, for so long he had nothing, and no one. Thus, he believes that he if wants to have anyone, to have anything at all, that he absolutely needs to earn that right.

Even if it requires pushing himself to his limits.

43 - Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Absolutely! Korbin has no blood relatives that he can speak of, and thus anyone that he depends on, or anyone that he care about, is not actually related to him. But he doesn’t mind, he prefers it that way. After all, found family, is way better than your chosen family in Korbin’s mind.

The ones that he depends on most outside of Lucien and Martin? Probably Vicente Valtieri from The Dark Brotherhood, and Jauffre from The Blades. He has very close ties with both men, and he actually views them as father figures for the most part.

He is also incredibly close to Baurus – another member of The Blades – as well, but mostly sees him in a brotherly light just like Lachance and Septim.