#i tried mixing the wet and dry food together to get the wet food to stretch out

[orcelito]

now Both of my cats r refusing to eat the dry food...

guess im gonna have to stock up on wet food next time i go to the grocery :/

[agxxb]

sweet treat .𖥔 ݁ ˖

joel miller x f!reader

summary: to celebrate joel getting a promotion, you decide to surprise him with his favourite pudding — but that’s not the only dessert he has in mind.

warnings: smut. pre-outbreak joel. unprotected!piv (wrap it before you tap it). oral (f receiving). soft dom!joel. dirty talk. vaginal fingering. pet names (sweetheart, honey, baby, pretty girl). established relationship. food mentions. swearing. [1.3k].

As soon as the phone call had ended, you stood from your spot on the sofa and hurried to the kitchen in excitement. A large grin broke out on your face, the crinkles by your eyes becoming more prominent the more you thought about what your husband had just told you.

When Joel had informed you of his promotion, you had let out a squeal of joy, pride filling your chest at how happy he was. You always supported him, just like how he did with you; His success felt like your own.

Heading towards the kitchen counter, you immediately began taking the ingredients out of the cupboard to bake Joel’s favourite dessert — a Texas sheet cake. He had once told you it reminded him of when he was growing up, his mother having baked it often for him and his young brother, Tommy.

You began mixing the ingredients together, knowing the recipe off by heart with how many times you’ve made it. The smile didn’t leave your face the entire time, pure rapture filling your entire being. Joel worked so hard and it felt amazing to finally see that pay off.

Just as you’d finished the preparation, the front door suddenly opened and your husband’s voice called out. You turned around in surprise, though far from complaining.

“Hey, Sweetheart,” Joel greeted, the biggest smile on his face as his eyes landed on you. His southern drawl had always made you weak in the knees, and that hadn’t changed in the six years you’d been together. “What’cha doin’?”

He walked into the kitchen, pulling you into an embrace. He placed his chin on your head, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. You smiled against his chest, wrapping your arms around his torso and resting your cheek against his chest. His heartbeat sped up, just like it did when you first met.

“Making you a little congratulatory dessert,” you replied, leaning up and pressing a quick kiss to his Adam’s apple. “I am so proud of you.”

“About time, huh?” he joked, pressing a kiss to your head before pulling away. His smile was still present, eyes bright as he looked at you.

Joel brought a hand up, resting it against your cheek. His thumb gently brushed against your skin before leaning down, pressing his lips against yours. They were chapped, dry from spending the day outdoors, but that didn’t make it any less enjoyable. Kissing Joel would never get boring, no matter how many times it happened.

You tried to pull away to say something, but his hand moved from your cheek to the back of your neck, keeping you in place. You breathed out through your nose, sliding your hands up his chest and resting there. Walking forward and moving you backwards, Joel led you to lean against the kitchen counter. You jumped up (with his help) and he stood in between your legs.

The kiss got heated pretty quickly, roaming hands clutching at any and every part of each other. Joel pulled back momentarily, allowing you to catch your breath. Your fingers carded through his hair, pulling as he nipped and sucked at your skin.

Letting out a moan, your eyes closed as you basked in the pleasure. “Fuck.” Joel moved down, licking at your collarbone before lowering himself to his knees. “Baby, please.”

Joel’s fingers deftly unbuttoned your shorts, pulling them down your legs and dropping them on the floor beside him. You spread your legs, giving him all the access he needed and allowing him to see how wet you were.

“Fuckin’ soaked, Sweetheart,” he groaned, voice deep and husky, full of want and need. “And all for me…”

“All for you.” You nodded, chin to chest as you looked down at him. “Please. Need it.”

“Yeah, pretty girl?” He didn’t look away from your pussy, eyes taking in what his mouth soon would. You nodded, urgent with the gesture. “Need me to make it feel better?” You nodded once again, though stopped halfway through the action as your head fell back and a moan left your mouth.

Joel’s tongue licked from your entrance all the way to your clit, sucking and moaning into you. “J-Joel…” you stuttered, hands in his hair once again and pulling. “Need to- Need to put the cake in… cake in the oven.”

“Got my dessert right here, Honey,” he mumbled before sucking on your clit once again. You let out another moan, a chain of them following and seemingly never ending. “That’s it, Sweetheart… let everyone know who’s making you feel this good. Want you to fucking scream my name.”

Just as he said that, two of his fingers pushed into you, curling and instantly finding that spot that makes your legs shake. You did just as he wanted, moaning his name as tears welled up in your eyes.

Joel moaned into you every time you pulled at his hair, moving closer into you, like he was willing to either drown or suffocate. Eating you out was one of his favourite things. He never wanted to stop. He would do it all day, every day if he could.

“Gonna cum.”

Immediately, Joel pulled away. You opened your eyes, looking at him in both annoyance and desperation. Just as you were about to open your mouth in protest, you watched as his hands moved down to his belt, undoing it in record time.

Dropping his jeans, he helped you down to your feet, turning you around to lean your forearms against the counter you just sat atop. You soon felt his tip against your entrance, moving back to try and get him to move.

“So impatient…” he tutted, a teasing tone taking control of his words. “What do you want, baby?”

“Want you. Please.”

“How could I refuse when you’re asking so nicely.”

And with that, Joel pushed his hips forward. Your head fell, chin against chest once again, and your eyes fell closed. The pleasure was instant, toes curling against the floorboards and hands stretching out to find anything to hold onto. A groan left Joel’s mouth, reverberating from deep within his chest, and his head tilted back as your warmth surrounded him.

“Fuck. Please. Please move.”

Doing as you asked (and not being able to hold back any longer), Joel pulled back before pushing back into you. “So fuckin’ wet, Sweetheart,” he moaned out, his movements speeding up and the sound of skin colliding echoing throughout the house. You could both hear how wet you were for him, the sound filling your ears with every thrust.

His hands dug into your hips, your head rested against the marble counter, and the buckle of his belt clinked as it hit against his zipper. All you could feel was him and the growing pit of burning pleasure deep within your stomach. Tears streamed down your face, your cheeks red from being unable to catch your breath.

You gasped, one hand reaching back. Joel took it in his own, holding it and interlocking your fingers. Grunts left this mouth from behind his clenched teeth, eyes locked on where you were joined. You were both sweating, the Texas heat not helping and the air-conditioner being rendered useless.

“Joel,” you moaned, tits bouncing with every slap of his hips against your ass. “Gonna cum. Please. Please can I cum?”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, wanting to see how long you could hold it before he gave you the green light. However, after only a few seconds, he, too, felt like falling over the edge.

“Go on, honey. Cum for me.”

You let out a cry, body shaking from the power of your orgasm. Your eyes squeezed closed and your fists balled up, nails digging into your palms to ground you. With a few more thrusts and the feeling of you squeezing him, Joel came with a grunt, pushing his hips into yours and letting himself get as deep as possible. His forehead rested in between your shoulder blades, face red and breathing heavy.

“Fuck.”

“We just did,” you responded with a short laugh, taking a moment to catch your own breath.

“Is this a good time to mention that I also got a pay rise?”

[zegrasdrysdale]

[ christmas cookies ] j. hughes

day three of malia’s christmas fic marathon

paring : Jack Hughes x fem!reader

summary : (Y/N) and Jack make a bit of a mess in the kitchen when they bake Christmas cookies since they’re both home because of the snow

warning(s) : some sexual content and language, implied sex. mainly fluffy tho :)

author’s note : i KNOW this is very late according to the schedule i put out but it was my birthday weekend so i didn’t have much down time to write or post anything. i think day four is coming at some point during the day tomorrow so keep an eye out for that

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"Jack!" (Y/N) yells as she runs back into the bedroom. "Jack. Baby, it's snowing and I don't have to go to work." She happily jumps on her side of the bed and crawls up to her sleeping boyfriend. Jack lets out a groan when she lays herself on top of him. She's like a happy puppy.

Jack mumbles an "it's early" and doesn't open his eyes.

She frowns and sits up on his waist. "It's snowing," she tries again. "I think you promised me that you would bake cookies with me next time it snowed since we would both be home all day." When Jack doesn't move, she begins to jump up and down on her knees like she's riding him. "Jack Hughes, get your cute ass out of bed and make cookies with me!"

His hands fly to her waist and stops her. "(Y/N)," he slurs. "Keep doing that and I will not make cookies with you. I will be making babies with you."

"Sounds good to me either way," she teases. That gets Jack to open one of his eyes. (Y/N) smiles. "Tell you what. If you make cookies with me then we can come back to bed and we can do whatever you want to me. I can still walk so obviously we didn't do enough last night."

Jack to flies out of bed butt ass naked from the previous night. (Y/N) laughs and watches him put on a pair of sweatpants and one of his Devils t-shirts before practically sprinting to the kitchen. She follows him in one of his larger Devils t-shirts that has his number on the chest and a pair of tiny shorts underneath.

The messy hair while Jack runs around their kitchen to grab what he considered cookie ingredients. "Baby, you can barely cook broccoli," she comments as she walks toward him. "I don't think you know how to bake cookies."

Jack's head snaps up. "Hey, I'm still learning," he snaps. "Get over here and help me get cookie stuff together."

She laughs and helps him out. She pulls out bowls, spoons, and the baking pan that will need to be used to actually bake the cookies.

The kitchen island is filled with different dry and wet ingredients and utensils that will need to be used to make the cookies without making a complete mess out of their kitchen.

Honestly, the kitchen will still probably end up being a mess because that's the way the two of them work. They're a messy couple and all of their friends know it. It's why their friends refuse to make food with them. Something always happens and food ends up everywhere.

(Y/N) pulls a chocolate chip cookie recipe up on her phone while Jack puts on some music so it's not dead silent while they're baking. He settles on Christmas music since it is technically Christmas Eve. She smiles to herself.

Jack comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist while she's leaning over the counter. She can feel his semi press against the top of her thigh right under her ass. "Jack, behave," she warns him. He definitely didn't take the warning seriously since she's smiling at how needy he is.

His love language is definitely physical touch, and she loves it.

The first step in baking cookies is mixing the dry ingredients together before incorporating the wet ingredients. In the biggest bowl, (Y/N) lets Jack measure and put in the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. She works on the butter, granulated sugar, and brown sugar in a mixing bowl.

While she begins to mix the eggs and vanilla in with the creamed butter and sugars, a white powder hits her in the face. She blinks until her eyes are clear and hears Jack laugh at her side.

"You're an ass," she tells him as she wipes the flour away from her eyes. Jack is leaning back against the counter as he laughs. "I didn't want to make a mess, Jack.

"You were an easy target," he tells her with a smile. "I couldn't help myself."

She blinks at him before she grabs a handful of flour and throws it in Jack's face. He coughs and wipes his own eyes. "That was deserved."

Jack looks at her. The white powder is all over his face and in his hair. She smiles, proud of her retaliation. She barely has time to react before Jack throws another handful of flour at her. He barely misses her face and she throws another handful at him.

They're both laughing and running around the kitchen throwing flour at each other. Jack catches her in his arms and she squeals.

He picks her up by her waist and spins her around until her waist is pressed against the counter. They're both covered in a layer of flour but she smiles up at him. Jack brushes some of the flour out of her hair and off her face.

“There’s my pretty girl,” he softly says.

His little name for her makes her heart jump in her chest. Her eyes meet his and she surges up to press her flour covered lips to his. Jack immediately kisses her back and presses her waist against the counter.

Her fingers are gripping his t-shirt. Her pinkies touch the skin on his waist and a jolt of electricity goes down to her core.

One kiss and she’s aching for him.

(Y/N) is the one to break the kiss and Jack chases her lips.

“Can we please put these together and in the oven so we can go shower?” (Y/N) asks when she pulls back from the kiss. She suddenly wants to get these cookies made so she can get back in bed with her boyfriend.

It’s insane that all Jack said was ‘there’s my pretty girl’ and she’s weak at the knees for him and kissing him while they’re both covered in flour.

Jack nods and they rush to finish making the dough so they can put the cookies in the oven. Jack starts doing the dishes while (Y/N) puts the baking sheet in the oven with the balls of dough on it.

As soon as the timer is set, she grabs his hand and they walk to their bathroom. “I was cleaning the dishes,” Jack protests.

“And now you’re going to clean yourself,” she retorts.

(Y/N) closes the bathroom door behind them. Jack’s eyes are on her as she turns the shower on.

She turns around to face her flour covered boyfriend. “Are you going to get naked or are you going to stand there and look pretty?” she asks.

“Oh I am so going to keep making messes in the kitchen if it means getting to shower with you,” he comments as he begins to undress. “You’re going to keep your promise and let me do what I want, right?”

“As soon as the cookies are done.”

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yourusername

liked by lhughes_06, jackhughes, and 1,982 others

yourusername someone decided to make a mess in the kitchen then distract me so we had to remake the cookies since they got burnt

view all 291 comments

trevorzegras can’t trust a hughes in the kitchen

yourusername fr

lhughes_06 so rude trevor

_quinnhughes i hope the cookies were good

jackhughes eh. the chocolate chip ones were probably better

yourusername the world may never know

jackhughes not my fault you look so damn fine baking cookies. even when you were fully clothed, i was distracted

nicohischier jack calm DOWN

lhughes_06 that’s disgusting bro

jackhughes LOOK AWAY LUKE. NOT FOR CHILDREN’S EYES

dawson1417 lmaoooo

yourusername can you stop traumatizing your brother

colecaufield damn he hit you with the flour huh

tysmith_06 can he cook broccoli yet ?

yourusername nope

jackhughes what the fuck

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[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

Steddie Upside-down AU Part 15

Part 1 Part 14

“Demogorgon?” Eddie demands. “That thing does not look like a Demogorgon!”

He can feel himself unraveling. He and Steve are barely unraveling and now they’re supposed to keep this kid alive somehow? They’d planned to fuck off and die of starvation, but now there’s a fucking kid in the mix, they’re going to have to fight that thing again and figure out a way to get out of this mess alive.

“What’s a demo—”

“It’s a D&D monster, Steve.” He’s being too loud, and he realizes it even before Will shrinks back, looking between Eddie, and Steve, and the door, like he can’t figure out which one is more of a threat.

“Oh, that’s cool,” Steve says, like a jackass. Will smiles hesitantly over at him.

“It is not cool, Sir Steven,” he hisses, keeping his voice down this time. “That is not what a Demogorgon looks like, and in cause you’ve forgotten, it tried to eat you! What about that is cool?”

Steve holds his hands up, palms forward like he’s trying to calm a spooked horse. “Alright, man. Ease up,” he says. “Let’s just sit down and like, talk this out.”

As if to demonstrate the act of sitting, he folds himself gracefully to the ground, legs crossed in his usual sitting position. Eddie hates him just a little. But Will sits too, knees to his chest, arms locked around them, so Eddie slides off the couch and joins them.

“Why do you think it’s a Demo-whatever?” Steve asks, rolling his eyes as both Will and Eddie correct him in unison. “Yeah, Demogorgon, whatever.”

“I rolled a three,” Will says. “In the game. I rolled a three, and it got me. And then it got me in real life.”

Steve reaches out, patting the kid’s ankle. “Are you hurt?” Steve asks.

Will holds out his palms. They’re scrapped, a little bloody on the heels, but not too bad. Kid’s faired better than they have, that’s for sure.

“Just these,” Will says. “I fell off my bike.”

Without getting up, Steve stretches out to grasp the handle of his backpack, pulling it toward him. He pulls out their meager first aid supplies, even though the blood looks old and dried. He scoots forward on his butt until his knees knock into Will, and then he holds out his hand.

It takes a few loaded seconds, but Will puts one of his hands into Steve’s. Steve holds it up to his eyes, hemming and hawing over the minor cuts like they’re battle wounds.

Then the best thing happens – Will Byers laughs. Is Steve Harrington good with kids? Eddie is going to lose it.

“I think you’ll live,” Steve says, wiping the dried blood and dirt from his hands with one of the few remaining wet wipes, careful of the scabs. He pats them dry with the hem of his shirt before gently securing bandages across them. “There,” he says, with a private little smile. “Good as new.”

Will smiles up at him, cheeks pinkening in a way Eddie empathizes with. If Steve Harrington tenderly cared for his wounds, he’d disintegrate and blow away on the wind.

“Now what?” Will asks, looking around at his surroundings curiously, as if he only just realized he’d followed two strangers to an unknown location. “Where are we?"

Eddie jumps up, bowing theatrically. “Welcome to my humble abode.”

A small, competitive voice in the back of his head crowed in delight when he made Will laugh this time. Screw you, Steve Harrington. He was going to be this kid’s favorite.

“We should compare intel,” Steve says, like someone who’d watched too many James Bond movies before his brain was fully developed. But they do.

Steve and Eddie take turns describing a kid-friendly version of what they’d been through. The raging party turns into a small get-together, sans drugs and alcohol. The “Demogorgon” attack in the alleyway involves not injuries, and it never broke into Steve’s house at all.

They don’t mention the lack of food, but Eddie begins sifting the water when it becomes clear Will hasn’t had a drink in a while. He doesn’t let the kid see the residue left on the shirt that had once been in the water he’s now greedily gulping down.

Steve’s fidgeting, straightening, and recrossing is legs periodically as they wait for Will to finish drinking and catch his breath.

“And you?” Steve asks, when he finally lowers the bottle, wiping the water that’d dribbled down onto his chin with the sleeve of his flannel.

“I saw it in the woods,” he starts, handing the bottle back to Eddie and pulling his knees back up to his chest. “It made me crash my bike.”

“And it got you?” Steve asks, quiet and gentle.

Will shakes his head. “I made it home, but no one was there, and all the lights were flickering. So, I went to the shed, and I got Lonny’s gun. And—” he swallows, voice sounding thick. “I shot it, but it took me here anyway.”

“How long have you been here?” Eddie asks.

Will shrugs, less like he doesn’t want to say, and more like he doesn’t know. “My Mom’s looking for me though.”

Eddie’s jealous of that level of faith in a parent. He swallows it down, says, “of course she is.”

Will shakes his head, hair flying with the force of it. “No, you don’t get it,” he says, adamant. “I’m not just saying that. I talked to her.”

Eddie’s eyes shift to Steve’s face, sees the same skepticism he feels reflected back, hope it doesn’t show on his face quite as much. Okay,” he says, drawling the word out past its usual thresholds, “how?”

“With the phone in the kitchen. I called and she answered,” Will replies. There are tears running down his face now. “She sounded so worried.”

“…what did she say?” Steve asks. He’s picking at his cuticles again. Eddie wants to reach over and grab his hand. He doesn’t.

“She said she’d find me,” Will says. “But then the Demogorgon came.”

There’s silence for a minute besides Will’s quiet crying. Steve scoots closer to him, nudging their knees together companionably.

He meets Eddie’s gaze, something that looks alarmingly like hope shining in his eyes. “You got a phone in here, Munson?”

Part 16

[hallow-witxh]

So you want to make permanent runes?

Look no further; I gotchu. Runes are great tools. They can protect, defend, enhance, and so much more. They're genuinely one of my favorite things to use in my craft because they're easy, can be as simple or complicated as you want them to be, and are effective. However, as much as I like drawing or painting them onto things, I sometimes want something a little more... permanent. Something I could hang in front of my window or paste/glue onto the front of a book. That's why I make and use salt dough. It's simple, it's fun, it's family-friendly, and it dries really well. You can even color it with food coloring or add in herbs. You can do anything with it! So, without further blabbing, here's my recipe for salt dough:

WHAT YOU'LL NEED:

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 cup table salt

3/4 cup to 1 cup water

Parchment paper

Baking sheet

An oven

Optional: rolling pin

Optional: thread/ribbon

Optional: dried herbs

Optional: food coloring

WHAT YOU'LL DO:

Preheat your oven to 225F (107-ishC).

Optional: Mix your dried herbs into your salt or flour.

Stir your flour and salt together.

Optional: To color your salt dough, stir your food coloring into water before you mix it with the dry stuff. Ensure it's very saturated because it will lighten considerably with the 3 cups of dry ingredients.

Add in 3/4 cup of water and mix. If the dough is too dry, slowly add in up to 1/4 cup more of water until it's kneadable.

Turn onto your parchment paper and knead until it's smooth, pliable, and not sticking to your fingers.

Optional: If you want to cut out shapes instead of molding them, flour your rolling pin and roll out the dough to a thickness of roughly 1/4 inch, then carve out your runes with a skewer or knife.

Roll out pieces of dough into 1/4-inch wide cylinders and form them into your rune/s.

Place them on a parchment paper-covered baking sheet and bake them for 1-4 hours or until completely dry. If you make thicker runes, they might take even longer.

Flip them over carefully every hour. If they're still pliable, try again every half hour.

Once they're dry, remove the pan from the oven and let them cool down until completely cool.

Once they're cool, they're done! You can now hang them up with string or ribbon, glue them onto things, paint (acrylic paint only, don't add water), etc. Just don't get them too wet!

As you can see, despite the long instructions, it's quite simple! It's also edible if you bake the flour first, so if a curious toddler tries to stick some into their mouth, it won't hurt them - but they might spit it out and make a mess.

Happy making, and blessed be!

Support your local witch on Ko-Fi!

[crow-stars]

❝TAKE A BITE, DON'T BE SHY!❞

❦summary; trying new things is always encouraged, especially by lilia, though that doesn't extend to that fae's cooking... ♪the characters in this story; gn!reader, lilia vanrouge ✎word count; 992 ❀what do the ghosts say?; ambiguous, lilia cooks, lilia discovers spicy foods, reader is lilia's victim taste tester, saved by the bell (literally) ☛the author's notes; sebek likers are gonna like tomorrow i think ☪look at the catalogue?

Lilia liked to cook, nobody could deny that. And, of course, everyone but Lilia knew not to let him within several feet within a stove. They can’t manage to stop him all the time and Lilia is always coming across new recipes and always wanting to put a spin on it. 

Today was one of those fateful days, where Lilia has decided to take up the apron and try a new recipe. 

And you were, unfortunately, chosen as Lilia’s taste tester. Well, you were more so the chosen sacrifice by the other dormmates, who all conveniently left the dorm around the time Lilia had planned to begin cooking. And so, here you were, sitting in the Diasomnia kitchen, a strained smile on your face as Lilia hums, walking around the kitchen and putting things together. 

The recipe that Lilia wanted to make was spicy cookies and, just from what you were seeing, it wasn’t going to be a pretty sight. You watched in horror at the amount of peppers and pepper flakes Lilia put into the bowl. It almost made your tongue burn seeing just the amount. Not to mention that your eyes were beginning to tear up as well even when you were as far as you could possibly be from the bowl Lilia was using. 

 The worst part of it all was that Lilia seemed unaffected, carrying on as normal. One would expect, with the amount of peppers and pepper flakes in the bowl, you would be feeling the effects of the capsaicin, but not Lilia. Oh no, he was practically putting his face into the bowl, glaring at the amount before apparently deciding that the monstrous amount of powder in the bowl wasn’t enough for the batch Lilia wanted to make. And he said he wanted to make enough for the whole dorm.

Eventually, thankfully, Lilia decided that enough was enough and began the process of mixing. That was... it was certainly an experience that one wouldn’t want to see again. There was no grace, no rhythm, no process to how Lilia mixed the dough, if you could call it that. It looked more akin to a sludge, yet also a slime, but also looking like it was more powder than anything else. You don’t even think he put any sugar in it, even though they were supposed to be cookies. Or anything besides that tear inducing concoction of mixed spices. It definitely wasn’t something you’d want to even think of consuming and it most definitely wasn’t supposed to be that color. You couldn’t even find the proper words to describe the hellish color of it, no mortal words could dare to describe.

“Um... Lilia, aren’t you going to add sugar or something..?”

Lilia looked up from where he was stirring, a wide grin on his lips. He had some flour covering his cheeks, that sparkle in his eyes that he got when excited. It would have been a memorable sight if not for the fact he was mixing your demise.

“Hm? Oh, no, no! They’re supposed to be spicy cookies! So that means that if I add the sugar, it might not be as spicy.” 

That did not settle well for you and Lilia resumed his stirring. 

Then, he began making balls out of the dough, varying in sizes and put them on the parchment paper. They weren’t keeping the shape intended, the ratio of dry ingredients to wet ingredients unbalanced and making the dough fall apart into a clumpy mess. Lilia at the very least tried to get them to stay together before he gave up and left them as is. 

The worst part of it all was watching Lilia put it in the oven. He put the oven at 500 degrees, set to bake for 10 minutes. You half expected Diasomnia to burn down, but surprisingly, and thankfully, it didn’t. Of course, that seemed like the only good outcome to this whole debacle, as Lilia was taking his man-made horror out of the oven and putting it onto the counter to cool off. 

It looked disgusting, to say the least. It wasn’t even in the shape of cookies, but lumps of charcoal, small specks of red peeking out, but otherwise looked as hard as a rock. 

“Alright, it’s ready for eating!” 

Oh, right. You were supposed to be the taste tester. Oh no.

This was when you sat up in attention, eyes wide and a shot of panic ran through your body. Lilia was already approaching you with one of his cookies in hand. You began to panic, he was already holding it out to you, an expectant smile on his face as he awaits for you to take it. 

“Aha... um...” 

“What, are you shy? Would you like me to feed it to you instead?” Lilia chuckles in almost amusement as he decides for you and begins to come closer to you. He has one hand holding the monstrosity and the other under it so no crumbs will fall onto the floor. And the smell is vile up close, a horrible mix of a burnt smell mixed with the smell of peppers tenfold and somehow a sweet undertone. It makes you almost gag, stomach churning as the smell invades your senses. 

But then, like a savior, your phone manages to ring, your reminder that class was going to start soon. You shoot up from your seat and plaster an apologetic smile on your lips. 

“It’s almost time for me to go to class! I should get going! Like— Right now!” You gather your things quickly enough before Lilia has enough time to answer. “Sorry I couldn’t try your cookies, bye!” 

You’re quick to make your escape, leaving the Diasomnia dorm without another word. It leaves Lilia sitting with the ‘cookie’ in his hands. He stares at it for a second before taking a bite out of it and humming in thought.

“Hmm... more peppers perhaps?”

[reconstructwriter]

Lemon Blueberry Bread Pudding

Sorry, this is a little late but here’s your requested pics @charmwasjess! For everyone who needs some virtual comfort food for any reason what so ever…

[Alt Text: A skillet with blueberries studding a lemon-flavored bread pudding, baked to golden brown deliciousness]

I took out the last two slices of my mom’s lemon and blueberry cake from the freezer. It's about a year old now? Remained shockingly untouched so it needed repurposing. So did the dregs from the bag of twice baked lemon-blueberry cookies. This was enough to fill a 6-inch skillet, which is a good size to cry over alone or share with a friend.

[Alt Text: A cast iron skillet of cake and cookie chunks beside a plate of thawing blueberries]

For the wet ingredients I decided to halve my favorite bread pudding recipe because I calculated a the six inch skillet would be about half of an 8 by 8 square.

I'm not quite as good at math as I thought. No matter how hard I tried to cram all the liquid in there. This was a good use for that last shriveled lonely lemon which was just about ready to give up. I didn't want to wash a lemon juicer as well so I just used my hands and fished out all the lemon seeds afterwards. I'm sure I got them all 😊

[Alt Text: A small blue bowl with liquid ingredients stirred together with a fork]

Also stuffed some more blueberries in between all the cake and cookie bits. More blueberries is always better. I've got a bag of mixed frozen fruit so I just picked the blueberries out and thawed them. Once everything is nice and stale and arranged to my weird aesthetic appeal, I did what they say to do in every recipe and added wet ingredients to dry. The liquid was fairly thick so I had to move a few cake bits around and everything to get the liquid at the bottom so it could stick to the skillet. I probably should have at least buttered the skillet but I forgot (as always).

[Alt Text: A skillet of uncooked bread pudding almost overflowing with liquid and a few blueberries peaking out like islands]

Yup, I miscalculated. Eh, its fine. Exact science bread pudding is not. I also like em cause I can soak them overnight, shove the pan in the oven first thing in the morning, turn it on and go out for a walk. By the time I'm done walking breakfast (dessert) is done. I have yet to set even my oven on fire with this method. Putting a tray on the rack below to catch any drippings is a good idea though.

[Alt Text: A skillet with blueberries studding a lemon-flavored bread pudding, baked to golden brown deliciousness]

OMG this is so good y'all. I ate it almost as soon as it came out of the oven and this is amazing 10/10 I don't care if I'm burning my mouth. Everyone have some!

Actual Recipe: • 2.5 slices of stale/dry lemon-blueberry cake or whatever bread-type stuff you don't want to throw out. • more blueberries if you can get them • 1 pat butter, melted • one egg • ¾ cup of dairy (I used half lemon yogurt and half almond milk but whatever y’all got) • 1/3 a cup of sugar (or orange jam, or lemon curd) • one lemon’s worth of juice • half a teaspoon of vanilla extract

Instructions: RIP the bread or bread adjacent stuff until you have enough to fill a 6 inch skillet or pan or whatever you're using to bake this. Stuff in as much blueberries as you can. You can double the recipe for an 8-inch pan or quadruple it for 13x9.

Put the butter in a microwave safe bowl for a few seconds to melt, add egg next and beat. Then the sugar, your yogurt if you're using it and then finally finish off with other liquids, the lemon juice and extract. You don't have to do the ingredients this way but I've found this is the easiest way of mixing everything smoothly and leaves the fewest dirty dishes.

Add liquid ingredients to your pan of dry ingredients and let everything soak in. Preheat the oven to 350 and bake until its golden brown and delicious, about 30 minutes or you can put the pan in as soon as you turn on the oven and wait about 45 minutes. As long as it looks done.

The other good thing about bread puddings is they're very versatile so just about any bread substance and any liquid you can combine for whatever flavors you want. I've done regular, apple-pumpkin- cranberry and coconut-pineapple-lime!

[gorgonstaringcontest]

Dog has been getting fussy and picky about the food I was giving her. Nothing's wrong, it's just a natural consequence of her life up until now.

The first night she was with me and for the first couple of weeks, I cooked her food myself to get her eating comfortably and up to a healthy weight. Then tried introducing actual pet foods because I was worried she wasn't getting exactly the right nutrients.

The brands swapped around because of availability and finding better options and did my best to smoothly transition between them. In the meantime, I'd give her things just for the joy of seeing her try things for the first time - chicken, roast lamb, blueberries, egg. She loved them all.

Then, she really started eating a lot. So I did what I thought was logical - bought in bulk of the food she liked. She'd tried a lot different things by this point so the newness was dying down, but about 3/4ths the way through the bulk food I bought, she just... Stopped being interested.

She went off the wet food first, and seemed to only want dry and to drink more water. Seemed fine. But then, she got sick of the dry food - only eating it begrudgingly after I'd eaten like "well, if this is all there is". So I bought different dry food, and it was okay for like a week and a bit and then, meh. Tried mixing the wet and dry together (actually mixing not just in the same bowl) and that was apparently the worst of both worlds.

So... Dog is apparently a gourmand now. She has a refined palate, and seeks new experiences.

According to advice I could find on the matter, the suggestion was to mix new things into the existing food to spice things up a bit.

I bought things to do this today, and she just... Didn't eat her lunch. Not interested, but kept doing the "feed me" things. So I decided that if it was a flavour sensation she wanted, she'd get it. And this way I could see if she didn't like any of it and could cull it from being mixed in in future.

Now we all understand dogs don't taste things the way we do, which is good, because although each individual thing is something I eat, the resulting mix was a bit more adventurous than most people would be. I made a plain rice congee, roasted off some sweet potato, pumpkin, and carrot, steamed some peas and corn, and sauteed some beef strips and - the real star of the show - liver. Topped it off with a few blueberries and some diced dried apricot as well and decided to really spoil her with a drizzle of peanut butter.

Dog was ecstatic. Ate her whole dinner. Licked the bowl clean. And then came and gave me lots of attention, very clearly pleased with the evening's offering, before going back to lick the bowl again in case a single molecule of flavour was left behind. She licked my hands, because I can only assume they smell a bit like the food from cooking it.

Every time I go NEAR the kitchen, she goes and sits by the fridge, because she saw that I cooked multiple meals worth of food and put the rest in there - the mana from heaven is trapped in the food prison, as far as she's concerned.

So I'm heading to bed now and, and she's curled up in her bed with a full tummy, which makes me glad. Aside from the extremely deadly liver-tinged dogfart that she perpetrated that is going to lead me to sleep with the windows open even though it's like 13°, I feel like I've achieved responsible dog parent status.

And for those wondering - liver is something I've eaten since I was a kid, no it's not because of rewatching Hannibal, yes I was tempted to see if dogs can have fava beans but no didn't actually check.

[fcukfodmap]

Day 42: Low-FODMAP Gluten-Free Strawberry-Custard Pie

This recipe came together because another recipe completely fell apart. I tried to make these graham-cracker waffle things for a whole s'mores situation, but, turns out, baked goods made from gluten-free flour completely lack coherence, and I couldn't get them out of the waffle iron intact. So instead of graham-cracker waffles, I had graham cracker crumbs. So let's turn that frown upside down and make pie with a graham-cracker crust!

Low-FODMAP Gluten-Free Strawberry-Custard Pie

Ersatz Graham Cracker Crust

1 c gluten-free flour

1/4 c brown sugar

1/2 tsp baking soda

pinch of salt and cinnamon

4 tbsp melted lactose-free butter

2 tbsp lactose-free milk

1/4 c maple syrup

1 tbsp vanilla extract

For the crust: 6 tbsp melted lactose-free butter

Mix together the dry ingredients into a bowl, then pour in the wet ingredients except for the 6 tbsp of melted butter for the crust. Stir until a dough forms, and let sit for 5 minutes. You could either pour this into a waffle iron or pan fry them like pancakes, cooking until the waffle/cakes have a nice brown crust. Let cool for a bit, then break up and pulse in a food processor until crumby. You should have about 1 1/2 c crumbs.

Melt 6 tbsp lactose free butter, and mix with the crumbs. Press into a deep dish pie pan while still warm, and put into fridge to set up. Meanwhile, make:

Vegan Custard

1 1/2 c plant milk such as almond or oat

2/3 c coconut milk

1/2 c cornstarch

1/3 c sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/8 tsp turmeric

Off-heat, mix together everything but the turmeric in a sauce pan; whisk out the lumps. Over medium heat, cook stirring constantly until the custard thickens, 2-5 minutes. Turn off heat and keep stirring for another minute to keep it from clumping.

Let it cool for 5-10 minutes, then stir in the turmeric (which is for color, because the pudding is otherwise an unpleasant gray.) Spread custard over the graham cracker crust, and put back in the fridge. Meanwhile, make:

Strawberry Pie Glaze

1 pkg strawberry flavored Junket Danish Dessert

1 3/4 c water

1 lb strawberries, hulled and cut into quarters

Mix the Junket packet with the water, and cook over medium heat until boiling, stirring often. Boil for 1 minute, stirring constantly. Let cool for 10-15 minutes. Arrange strawberries in an even layer over the custard, then pour the pie glaze over the strawberries. Put back in the fridge to set up.

Once the pie sets up, serve with vegan whipped cream.

So this whole project was ridiculous from beginning to end, but the results were pretty good! I liked the plant-milk custard, especially the hint of coconut from the coconut milk. I thought it paired well with the fruit, which was the sweetest thing in the pie. I like my pies not very sweet, so that was perfect. I could have used less butter in the graham cracker crust because it ended up being a little hard. It could also use a little ginger and cinnamon in the ersatz graham cracker crumbs. But really, no complaints.

Even though there was some dairy in the crust -- a little milk and some butter -- I decided I was going to make the filling vegan? Honestly, I have no idea why I committed to that, but you could easily make this recipe 100% vegan by using shortening and a plant milk in the crust instead. I had a bunch of plant milks and vegan whipped cream to use up, so that was that.

I'm not sure how widely available Junket Danish Dessert is. My Scandinavian grandparents used it often as both pie glaze and as a pudding. I've always used it as a vegetarian option instead of Jello, because Junket is thickened with tapioca starch not gelatin. In fact, you can usually find Junket by the Jello in the grocery store.

So! Pretty silly, but a pleasant way to spend an afternoon.

Evergreen disclaimer: I am no dietician. I'm doing my best to minimize FODMAPs in my diet, but it's possible for me to be misinformed or mistaken about various ingredients.

[snailsbigrace]

It's the Thought That Counts

A/N: HERO, I love him so much omg-

Pairing: HERO X Gn! Reader

Warnings: None!

Genre: Pure fluff!

Summary: You feel like making something for HERO since he's always making things for you, but something goes wrong

Word Count: 2.2k

I’m going to do this! I’m going to do this! You encouraged yourself, bouncing on your feet as you headed to the kitchen. Hero had just left to go pick up some things from the grocery store giving you the perfect opportunity to surprise him. You knew Hero would only grab what he needed and come back as soon as possible which was definitely not going to be enough time for you. So you had asked him to grab a few extra things that you knew would be more time consuming for him to find because you knew Hero, he would search as hard as he could for what you had asked for and if he didn’t find it he’d come back, slumpy and pouting as he would admit he couldn’t find what you had asked him for. But he tried to avoid that as much as he could, meaning he’d be gone for some time.

What you were up to wasn’t bad or anything of the sort, it was a surprise for Hero. You found that he always seems to be taking care of you no matter what, he hardly ever lets you lift a finger, always taking on as many responsibilities as he can. Two of these many responsibilities are baking and cooking, he’s always baking and cooking. He’s not a huge fan of takeout and going to a restaurant because why should you guys buy food that someone else made when he can just make it himself? That’s what he always says anyway. But you never cook or bake for him, and if you try to he always insists on helping, never letting you get away with doing it yourself. You love Hero, he’s sweet and you know that he cares for you with all his heart, but you feel guilty because you want to help and spoil him too. Which is why keeping him out and about is so important at the moment.

So here you were, in the kitchen looking at the recipe, pulling the things you need out of cupboards and pantries before setting them down on the newly cleaned counter. You take a deep breath, you can do this, you can do this!

You’ve learned from Hero that it was easier to have separate bowls with one having the dry ingredients and the other having the wet ingredients before mixing them together in another bigger bowl. He had told you that not everyone did it like this but he found it easier himself so he always did it. So you did just that, hoping that Hero’s way of doing things would be easy just as he said it was. 

This was a recipe that Hero had made when he was younger with his, at the time, suspected girlfriend Mari. It is one he definitely enjoys making, you assume because of the fact it was one of the many recipes he made with Mari.

You never met Mari, she had already passed when you met Hero but you’ve heard from his brother, Kel, that Hero and her were very close, and it was clear that they liked each other, but no one knew if they were in a relationship together or not, they didn’t tell anyone. Even now, when you ask him, Hero doesn’t tell you, only saying ‘maybe!’. You know that really, it’s none of your business but you wished you could know more about the girl since all of Hero’s friends seemed to know her and they all also seemed to like her, a lot. When they talk about her you always feel just a little out of place because you never know what to say or how to comment at all. Hero always tells you that ‘it’s okay!’ But you wish you could know more about how Hero felt about her. When his friends bring her up he’s always the quietest, though you had heard that her passing was quite hard for him. Maybe that’s why? You guessed that it didn’t matter since his friends didn’t seem to care when you had nothing to say or when you asked a question or two about her.

Your attention is stolen when you hear the oven let out a little noise to tell you that it’s done preheating. You quickly finish your concoction and put it into the oven so that it can bake. You can only hope that it’s done before Hero gets home.

You decide that while you wait for your surprise to finish you should get cleaning. Hero was not a fan of dirty dishes and so naturally, you aren’t either. You grab and put them into the sink, trying to quickly clean them with soap and water before putting them to the side to be put away. You repeat this boring process a few times, and during your quick cleaning process you don’t take notice of the amount of water you are splashing everywhere until it’s too late. You accidentally step too far forward when you try to reach the sink once more, causing your foot to lose its balance. You slip forward slightly, making you fall down onto the tiled floor of the kitchen, the bowl in your hands being let go of mid fall as you panic to catch yourself. 

You sit on the floor for a moment, trying to process what had just happened. It only takes you a short amount of time to realise you’re covered in the extra contents of what was in the bowl you had accidently let go of. Not only were you covered but the floor and really almost anything that was in the vicinity. You groan, mentally face palming at the sight. You had created a huge mess that was going to be tedious to clean up. You sit on the floor a while longer, trying to not stress about the situation too much, but that was proving difficult. You sigh as you stand up onto your feet, grabbing the bowl that had made this a bigger problem then it was supposed to be on your way up. 

You hear the click of what you assume is the front door opening and you freeze. It had to be Hero, Hero was home and there was a huge mess in the kitchen. You sigh, rubbing your temple, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Y/N? I’m back! I found that stuff you wanted! Hey, if I can ask, what did you need that stuff for anywa-” You refused to open your eyes when you heard him approach, but even so you could feel him staring at you, at the mess in the kitchen. He’s silent and it’s almost frightening. It feels like the whole world stopped.

After about two minutes of just standing there in pure silence with your eyes shut you finally dare to peek one open, just to look, just to see him, and see him you do. He’s standing there, not directly in front of you, considering you were standing in the middle of a huge mess but he was standing close enough. He was staring straight at you, though no emotion was present on his face, which was severely worrying. You offer him a nervous smile.

“Surprise… Heh… Heh…” Finally after his long silence he snorts, which is then followed by a laugh. You stare at him, confused. This reaction wasn’t expected at all, you had assumed that he was going to… What did you expect him to do? You knew Hero would never get mad at you over something like this, and right at this moment, he was laughing. He found the situation funny. Your smile gets bigger, happy that he seemed to be happy himself. 

When his laughing dies down he looks at you with what you would say is probably the most adoring look he’s ever given you.

“So Honey Bunny, are you going to tell me what went awry here? Or do I need to play the guessing game?” He questions with a smirk, placing the bags of groceries he carried on a clean table. 

“I was going to make something for you, I er- kinda had a slip.” You answered honestly, seeing no point in lying to him since he would probably piece it together anyway. He gives you a fake pity filled look.

“Aw, you poor thing.” He coos, finally approaching you, being mindful of the mess. When he reaches you he presses a quick kiss to your lips before pulling away, making sure not to get the contents of what was in the bowl and what was now on you onto himself. He continues to smile, not at all upset. “Why didn’t you just ask me to help you when I got back? I wouldn’t have been that long.”

“I wanted to do something nice for you. You’re always making things for me and I wanted to make something for you for once. But I think I’m seeing why you do the cooking and baking around here and not me.” You laugh nervously, and he can’t help but give you another kiss. Swiping some of the blob off of you with his finger before putting it into his mouth. 

“Wow! This actually tastes great Y/N!” He compliments. “You need to start baking for me more often!” You feel slightly flattered by the compliments, they weren’t really anything special since he complimented you all the time, but having a cook like Hero tell you that he liked your baking was amazing. 

“Thanks Lover Boy, that means lots.” You gently tap his chest with your finger, silently asking him to move which he does. You grab some cleaning supplies, bringing it over to the kitchen. Hero makes himself chuckle.

“I wish Kel was here, he would get a good laugh out of this.” You tsk in response, shaking your head slightly. 

“Yeah, bring it up everytime we see each other for the rest of our lives and laugh every single time.” You roll your eyes, imagining that cruel fate that Hero had just wished to create. He also rolls his eyes in response but he’s smirking, because he knows what you say is true. His brother would never leave you alone about this even if he’s on his deathbed. 

You were about to get cleaning when you paused suddenly, feeling Hero’s hand on top of yours. He’s standing behind you. You find it slightly amusing how he’s trying to get close to you but trying to avoid getting anything on himself. You turn your head so that you can look at him.

“What can I help you with?” You question him with a smile, and he smiles back.

“I was thinking I could clean up the mess here and you can go get yourself cleaned up. I want to hug you.” He confirms, nodding his head. You frown, he was about to help you again. He quickly kisses your forehead, taking your mind off what he was about to do. “Don’t worry about it Honey, I want to help and I can promise you that I won’t feel burdened or upset about helping.” He lets go of your hand, giving you more space. You were about to argue back that you couldn’t let him clean up your mess. But when you saw his confident smile you knew that there would be no arguing with him on this. So you listened and headed towards your shared bedroom to grab a new pair of clothes. 

When you finished you returned back to the kitchen, finding it spotless, and there he was with what you had baked. He was putting it onto a nice looking plate so that he didn’t have to leave it in the ugly looking tray. You just watched him, adoring his concentrated look, the way his brows were slightly furrowed and his teeth were grit together. He hadn’t even noticed your return.

He was washing the tray as soon as he had finished getting its contents out. You took the opportunity to sneak up behind him, snaking your arms around the man as you rested your face against him. He chuckled.

“Hey Y/N, glad you’re back in one piece and that you didn’t slip on your way out of the tub.” You can hear the smirk in his voice and you gently hit his side with your hand to show your displeasure with the statement. 

Once he’s done in the kitchen you both find yourselves on the couch, he keeps looking at you like he wants to say something, but he hesitates and doesn’t. You finally sigh and look at him with a curious look.

“What is it?” You ask, his own expression now matches your own.

“Hm?” He asks back.

“You want to say something don’t you? Why don’t you just say it?” He sits up properly so that he’s not leaning on you.

“Well, I guess I just want to say… Thank you.” He shrugs.

“Are you thanking me for the food? It turned out more burnt then I wanted it to be so you don’t have to thank me.” You sigh. 

“It did turn out burnt but you made it for me, didn’t you?” 

“Yeah, I did.”

“Then that’s what matters to me. So thank you for making something for me.” He smiles, putting his hand on your head and ruffling your hair. You now switch, you’re now the one leaning on Hero, and he glady wraps an arm around you, holding you close to him.

Thanks for reading! <3

[robbybirdy]

Baking therapy on a budget Ft. Genshin Characters: Keqing - Almond Pulp Cookies

Hello, every birdy. Today we are going to be doing zero waste. If you read the last post you will know that we have some unused almond pulp, from the almond milk. This is a really simple recipe. The original recipe is  vegan and gluten free. However, I am going to share with you what I used because as most of you know I like to use ingredients that I already have in my house, and i don’t like going to the grocery store to get one or two things. Especially if I know I am not going to be using them. 

Before I forget and neglect the character in question like I do in the game. Keqing (ka-ching, $$$) is a significant character in Liyue’s archon quest. She is one of Ninngaun’s helpers. As we have seen in the Stove God Event, Keqing does in fact love food and is not just a workaholic. I was unable to get any shrimp at this time or I would have tried to make one of her favorite dishes, because honestly, that is one of my favorite dishes as well, Golden Shrimp Balls. Even though she says that Almond Tofu is not her favorite food, These cookies are not anything like tofu. 

The ingredients that you will need for this recipe are:

1 ½ cups almond pulp (this is equal to 1 batch of almond milk, which uses 1 cup of almonds)

1 cup rolled oats

½ cup maple syrup, agave syrup or what I did was make a simple syrup with hot water and sugar

½ cup of either almond butter or peanut butter ( i used peanut butter)

¼ cup of ground chia seeds or ground flax seeds - this is equivalent to 1 egg (Which is what i used)

1 Tablespoon of coconut oil, or margarine (I know not the healthist and right now its not really the cheapest thing at the store but it was what I had in the fridge at the time of making this.)

2 teaspoons of vanilla

½ salt 

Optional things you can add

½ cup chocolate chips

½ raisins -this is what i choose 

¼ cup of unsweetened shredded coconut

This recipe is an easy recipe that you can switch out ingredients to make them according to your diet. I had no reason to make this recipe vegan, but it can be made that way if that is your diet. 

You want your almond pulp to have dryed in the fridge for about a day. If you use it right away it will be to wet to work with. 

The first thing you will want to do is preheat your oven to 350 F. Prepare 2 large cookie sheets with parchment paper or silicon baking mats, if you are working in a conventional oven. If you are using a convection oven, reduce the temperature to 325 F and spray your pan, and do not use parchment paper. It will take a lot longer, but the cookies will taste the same.

Next, I combined an egg and the simple sugar to a small bowl and mixed them.  

In another medium sized mixing bowl you are going to mix together the almond pulp and you have to make sure that you have gotten rid of all of larger chunks with a fork. Once you have all of that done you are going to add in the oats and salt, and stir everything together. 

To the egg mixture you are going to add the peanut butter, margarine and vanilla making sure to mix well. 

Now, we are going to add the peanut butter mixture to the almond pulp mixture and stir until everything is absorbed. Once everything is combined you are going to add in your add-ins. 

Use a large spoon to drop the cookie dough onto your prepared cookie sheet. Make sure to flatten each of the cookies. 

Bake the cookies for 350F for about 13 minutes or just until the edges start to brown. Cool them on the baking sheet for about 5 minutes before removing.

These cookies were really good, and I just left them on the coffee table in the living room. It did not take long for the cookies to go. Which is a good sign, because my family is known to tell me when they don’t like something. 

I hope that you liked this recipe.  Feel free to check it out for yourself. See you in the next post. Thank you.

Recipe: Here

Almonds to Zucchini 

[themadlostgirl]

B&B: Cooking Lessons

*I FORGOT I HAD THIS PROMPT IN MY ASKS! I AM SO SORRY! Better late than never at least.*

Prompt: More funny Felix x Reader Storybrooke AU shenanigans. Title says it all.

~~~

“Darling,” Felix reached past you to turn off the tv, “It’s three.”

“No!” you flopped over on the couch. “I don’t wanna go!”

“It’s not that bad. Stop complaining and let’s get this over with.” he tried to pull you off the couch. You held onto the armrest, refusing to budge. “Stop being a brat! Come on!”

“Never!”

“For the love of god. Fine. You force my hand.” he let go of your leg and started tickling your sides.

“No fair!” you shrieked with laughter. You tried to swat his hands away but he took the opportunity to grab you and pull you off the couch. “That was low, Felix.”

“And you’re being dramatic.” he pulled you along out of the apartment. You knocked on the apartment door of Snow and David.

Snow greeted you with a bright smile. “Come in you two. Ready for your cooking lesson?”

“Snow, I am going to be straight with you. I think you need to give up on trying to teach us to cook.” you told her. “I am perfectly content living off of Granny’s lasagna and toaster waffles.”

“Ignore her.” Felix pulled you inside. “She’s been in a mood all day.”

“You’re fine learning how to cook. Why do I have to learn too?” you whined as you were tossed an apron.

“Cause I am not going to be the sole person cooking the meals around the house. This is easier than back on Neverland, I don’t know what you’re complaining about. It’s not like we have to skin anything or butcher it. It all comes pre-packaged.”

“I liked cooking on Neverland better because it was just stick the meet in fire till it is brown. That’s all it had to be. Now we have to saute shit. What the hell is saute!”

“Well, you’ll be pleased to know that we are not going to be sauteing anything today.” Snow assured you. “And cooking is an essential life skill. Even if it is something simple you need to be able to prepare food for yourself.”

“Fine. What are we making?” you gave in and accepted your doom.

“Well, considering that we had a problem last week when we tried to make risotto I thought we would bring it down to something hopefully a little easier. We are going to make muffins.”

“That sounds easy, right?” Felix eyed you. You rolled your eyes. You weren’t holding out hope.

“I found a simple recipe. I already got out all the supplies, you guys just need to follow the directions.” she gestured to the various ingredients scattered around the kitchen. “Now, you guys have come a long way since we started so I am going to let you take the reins. If you have any questions feel free to ask but I am going to stay out of your way.”

“Joy.” you turned to the recipe. It didn’t look complicated but you were a disaster in the kitchen. Why couldn’t they just accept that?

“Preheat oven to 400 degrees.” Felix went to the oven and turned it on. “Okay. Next we need to line a muffin tin with liners.”

“Line a what with what?”

“I’m guessing they mean this.” Felix picked up a tray with various divots in it. Next to them were a package of little paper liners.

You lined the tray with the liners while Felix measured out the ingredients. “Next we need to mix the milk, vegetable oil, and egg in one bowl and the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt in a bigger bowl.”

“Okay.” you took the ingredients he handed you and dumped them in their respective bowls. This wasn’t too bad so far.

“Now we mix in the wet ingredients with the dry ones. Once those are blended we add the chocolate chips.” Felix instructed. Felix poured the ingredients together and began mixing. You handed him the chocolate chips to add and started picking at the leftovers in the bag.

“What next?” you asked.

“How about you read it.” he handed you the card.

“We gotta spoon the batter into the cups to two thirds full. Then it says we need to mix together some white sugar and brown sugar to sprinkle on top.”

“Alright. I’ll start spooning. You mix the sugar.”

“Okay.” You went to grab the sugar.

Snow’s phone started ringing. “I gotta take this. You guys are doing great though. I’ll be in the other room for a minute.”

“Got it.” Felix said, carefully spooning batter into the cups.

You mixed together the topping and turned around to hand it to Felix. You slipped on a bit of milk that got spilt on the ground though. The bowl of sugar in your hands flew out and dumped all over Felix. “I am so sorry!”

He turned to you deadpanned, crystal sugar glittering in his hair. “Really?”

“I didn’t mean to.” you couldn’t help laughing though. He shook the sugar out of his hair like a dog shaking off water.

“Oh no, it’s fine.” he dipped a hand in the flour and tossed it at you. It hit you right in the face. “Now we’re even.”

“You jerk! Mine was an accident!” you wiped the flour from your face. Now your shirt was covered in it too.

“What are you gonna do about it?” he smirked.

You grabbed the wooden spoon off the table. “Oh I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do about it.”

“Stand back.” he grabbed the bag of flour. “There’s more where that came from.”

“Felix!” you warned. “Don’t you dare.”

“Don’t you!”

You were in a stand off up until the oven dinged to let you know it was preheated. The sudden sharp noise made you jump and you turned instinctively to see what caused it. In the split second you realized your mistake and felt a handful of flour hit the back of your head. You turned back and Felix was wearing a shit eating grin.

Oh that was it! You chucked the spoon at him and grabbed the sugar off the counter to throw back while he was distracted. You chased him around the table throwing handfuls of sugar at him as he tried to dodge and fired back with handfuls of flour.

You were making another lap around when Felix suddenly changed directions and came running straight at you. He caught you with one arm and dumped the rest of the flour directly on top of your head. “You little--” you had run out of sugar. You reached for the closest thing you could grab which in this case was the carton of eggs and smashed one on his head.

The cold slimy yolk running down his neck was enough to get him to drop you. You grabbed the entire carton and readied another egg. “Darling, out the eggs down.” he told you, hands up. “We had our revenge no need for more destruction.”

“Should have thought about that earlier.” you chucked another egg at him. He dodged out of the way and it sailed past him. “Get back here and take it like a man!”

You threw another and another trying to hit him as he dodged around the apartment.

“Alright guys I’m--” Snow stepped back into the room just as you threw another egg and hit her in the chest. “Ow! Hey!” She looked around at the mess the two of you had created. You had only seen Snow angry one other time and had forgotten just how scary she could be. This quiet rage settled on her as she wiped the egg from her formerly pristine baby blue sweater.

“What the hell happened to my kitchen?! What did you two do!” she gestured to floor and yourselves. “I was gone for five minutes! This place is a wreck!”

“Sorry.” You and Felix muttered. “Things got a little out of hand.”

“A little!” she made another grand gesture to the flour, sugar and eggs splattered and dumped everywhere. At that moment David returned with Emma and Henry. They took one look at the mess, the state of you and Felix, and the rage on Snow’s face and wordlessly backed out of the room.

Snow turned back to you two. “You are going to clean this place spotless and then go back into town and buy me back all the ingredients you wasted.”

“That’s fair.”

“You also don’t get to have any of the muffins.”

“What!”

“Neither of you deserve muffins after this! Now get cleaning!” she shoved the broom and paper towels into your hands. She finished filling the muffins and set them in the oven to bake while you and Felix cleaned.

By the time the muffins were out of the oven you had swept up all the flour and sugar as well as scrubbed the egg off the walls. The pair of you were still a mess but the apartment was clean again at least. Snow sent you off to wash up and get changed before heading out to the store.

You and Felix didn’t talk but each time you looked at each other you had to suppress a laugh. Still better than the risotto disaster.

You came back to the apartment with the replacement ingredients. Snow, David, Emma and Henry were relaxing in the living room munching on the muffins you had made. At least they had turned out okay.

You set the groceries down and apologized again for the mess. Snow forgave you and thanked you for the groceries. “For what it’s worth, the muffins came out perfectly.”

“Isn’t that swell.” you looked at them in envy. They looked so good too.

You and Felix returned to your apartment and saw a pair of muffins on your coffee table. Guess that was heroes for you. You slumped back on the couch with Felix, muffin in hand. “You know, despite the whole mess part, that wasn’t a terrible cooking lesson.”

“I thought the mess part was the most fun.” he ruffled your hair. You took a bite and sighed. They were really good.

[glaivenoct]

Talk to me about NyxNoct on spring break, please? Where would they go? What would they do?

NyxNoct on spring break omg that's a good one! There's a 99.9% chance I've mentioned this in some form on twitter before, BUT

It's time for Nyx to take Noct on a little spring vacay to Galahd. If you know me then you know I am a slut for Nyx bringing Noct home! Usually I think more about fall/winter trips for the holidays around that time, BUT SPRING.

I think spring would be a great time for Nyx to indulge in hiking again - something he can't do in the city. I always thought he did that a lot as a kid with Papa Ulric and Selena. Libertus and Crowe too. So I feel like he'd want to take Noct up all his favorite trails (and along the way narrate "and THIS SPOT HERE is where I was dumb and twisted my ankle"). It'd be a mix of hiking and chocobo riding! Because maybe the first time they do it all on foot and Noct's bad leg starts to flare up by the time they make it to the top of the trail. Noct tries to hide this of course; he's a little embarrassed and also doesn't want to take anything away from Nyx enjoying being back home to the fullest.

But you can't get anything past Nyx, Noct. He's 1000% going to piggyback Noct back down the trail as the sun sets. Nyx doesn't mind, he used to do the same for Selena when she got tired.

ALSO - I need Nyx taking Noct to some tucked away waterfalls. I have THE MIGHTIEST NEED (this is the thing I've defos talked about on twitter before) for these two to jump off of the tops of waterfalls together, HAND IN HAND. OR LIKE - imagine a little picnic with their chocobos at the top of the waterfall and Nyx teases/messes with Noct to the point of getting food thrown at him. And it turns into a full on chase in which Nyx's only escape is being a show off and diving gracefully off the top of the cliff into the water below.

Noct coming to an abrupt stop at the edge all wide eyed and "Nyx!"

Nyx surfaces a beat later with the biggest, dumbest grin. Laughing like he's too proud of himself, combing his wet hair back with his hands.

"Come on, Noct! The water's perfect!"

"I..." Noct peer forward just to take a step back. He's hesitant because he's never quite been at a height like this before. He tries to think of it as warp training for a second, but even then -

"I dare you," Nyx will goad from below with a smirk that'll make Noct clench his fists in spite. "Don't think about it! Just think about me and my handsome smug face waiting for you to catch me if you can."

Catch me if you can - that smug ass. Of course Noct can catch him! It's just water! Noct's jumped into the water before! And he's going to shut Nyx up.

So Noct jumps. His heart skyrockets and possibly launches out of his actual chest, but it's fine because he splashes the hell out of Nyx when he hits the water and it's #worthit.

It's also worth the laughter when Noct resurfaces, and Nyx grabs him around the waist and gives his cheek a smooch. Lots of splashing and swimming after each other and, most definitely, jumping from the top again.

They should also totally make out BEHIND the cascade of waterfall, in a little secret cove that's hidden behind it. But that can be for another day, because these two definitely need to head back soon, dry/clean up for the big spring festival that'll happen later that night.

I want there to be lots of flowers (FLOWER CROWNS) and food and treats. A spring dance, maybe. I definitely need this song playing at the end of the night for them to semi-slow dance to. (Whenever I hear that song it gives me the vibes of a Galahd folktale song)

Should.. should I try to write this one day? ;u;

[madmaudlingoes]

Further Adventures in Dyeing

See previous installments, dying wool with Kool-Aid and dying wool with Wilton’s icing colors, for more explanations + some photos of my gross stovetop. It does not get cleaner.

[Image ID: several hanks for yarn variegated in shades of purple, teal and gray laid out on a white background. On top of them is a ball of blue-gray alpaca locks.]

I’ve actually done several more experiments with Wilton’s since my last post, but I keep running into the problem of breaking. Since many of Wilton’s colors are a mix of different food dyes, and they’re not meant for dying wool, the dyes are often absorbed quite differently by the fiber - they “strike” differently, and unevenly. Which is how I ended up with the test skeins in the above photo, from WIlton’s black, when my target color was the locks in the center. Super cool effect if you’re aiming for it, frustrating when you’re not.

Fortunately, I stumbled upon this video of a woman getting a true black using Wilton’s, and tried to replicate it myself. Allons-y!

[Image ID: a stainless steel stockpot partly full of water. A hank of white yarn is soaking in it.]

First step, as always, is to soak the test yarn and get it really wet. I’m using a big pot this time, instead of tupperware, because I want to give the yarn plenty of room to spread out - and I want to gently diffuse the dye and vinegar through the bath, so all the Red 40 doesn’t get sucked up by the first bits of fiber it hits.

[Image ID: the same stock pot as above, but the water is now a dark greenish color.]

Next step, per Andi’s video, is soaking the yarn in a cold dye bath with about 1/3 the total amount of dye being used. Not much color is going to strike without heat or acid, but it ensures the dye is evenly distributed around the yarn.

[Image ID: the same yarn above, held in a pair of metal tongs. It has become very faintly pink, though the dye bath in the background still looks dark greenish.]

After ~20 minutes, here’s what I had - a not-too-uneven layer of red. So I added the next 1/3 of the dye to the bath and put the heat on.

[Image ID: Close up of the same hank of yarn, again held in metal tongs. It is a slightly darker and more even shade of pink.]

Just heat has gotten more of the dye to strike, though I haven’t added any acid yet. That’s the main reason for the switch to the big pot: a larger volume of water to start with means I can lower the pH gradually with small additions of vinegar, and I can avoid pouring vinegar directly on the yarn (which will just make a bunch of red strike that spot at once).

[Image ID: same yarn as before, but it is now a bright berry color.]

By gradually adding acid (and the last 1/3 of my dye dose) I can get all the Red 40 evenly applied to the yarn and start fixing the Blue 6 without any uneven spots. That’s why the dye bath, in the background of the photo, looks so green - it’s all Blue 6 (and a little yellow) that hasn’t struck the yarn yet.

[Image ID: multiple photos of the same yarn, as the color darkens from berry to purple to dark gray.]

It took a lot of fiddling with the temperature to keep the water hot but not boiling, and a lot of very small additions of vinegar, but eventually the dye bath ran out and I got this beautiful - and very even! - dark gray color.

[Image ID: the skein of dark gray yarn drying on a hook, with a green towel in the background.]

It! Is! Gray! All! The! Way! Round!

Now it’s just down to getting the color right so I can get to the next step of my actual project - dying some Rambouillet wool to make the alpaca locks I got from Breezy Ridge Alpacas. Then I card them together, and then I spin!

[joshscurlyhair]

☽ 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜𝕤𝕘𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕘 - 𝕕𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕪 ☽

Summary: y/n and the boys try and prepare for a Thanksgiving feast. Will it become a success or will the food end up burnt?

Word count: 836

A/N: Hey y’all happy Thanksgiving! I thought I would make a short thanksgiving post! Enjoy!

☾Join the Taglist!☽ : @angelqueen99 @jordierama

You squint your eyes at the sudden sunlight blinding you through the blinds.

" Shit! " You say abruptly jumping up. " Babe?- Where are you- " Danny mumbles sleepily as he tries and grip your waist to keep you from leaving. " I gotta start the Thanksgiving food asap! " I say putting my fuzzy slippers on quickly and practically running down the stairs.

I fumble between pans, opened the oven and start to fumble even more with getting all the foods out and most importantly prepping the turkey so it can stay in the oven cooking until dinner.

You suddenly bump into a hard chest behind you as you slightly gasp not expecting it, " Oop- ", " Well, Happy Thanksgiving to you too " Danny says chuckling then giving you a forehead kiss. " Ugh I'm sorry Danny you know how I get on holidays with the cooking " I frown. " I know baby girl- I know. Now would you like me to help you? " He says hands resting on his sides. " Um- actually instead of me and you every year lets have all the boys help later on " I say smirking.

------

" Kiszka's get down here!! " I yell out to the boys hearing them stopping music they were playing on their record player. I was working on the stuffing as Danny was working on the mac and cheese.

I added the bread crumbs into the stuffing mixing it as I could hear the footsteps creek on the stairs. I look up and see the boys wearing some fall sweaters that I thought were absolutely adorable. " Awe you boys look nice " I say giving a warm smile. They smile back as they come forward to the kitchen where me and Danny were working on a thousand dishes.

" Let me get the beer " Sam comments

" Sam could you help with cutting the ham? " I say to him pointing to the ham at the side of table waiting for it to be cut.

" Jake, you're gonna be in charge of the green bean casserole. Remember how we made it last year? " , " I remember it like it was yesterday- Watch it guys I'm gonna clearly make the best dish here " Jake says with confidence making his way over next to me getting the ingredients. " Pffft, clearly I am " Sam says rolling his eyes at Jake's comment as he slices the ham. " Sam you're literally just slicing ham- " Jake comments. " You're all lost, CLEARLY I'm gonna help y/n make the best cornbread " Josh comments with confidence stepping upfront getting the dry and wet ingredients together and mixing them.

" Look like we got some competition Danny " I say as I take a brief look at the boys and see them so focused on their dishes.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

" Oh shit oh shit!! " I say running to the oven and see smoke coming out. I open the the oven and get a full face hit of smoke as I cough.

" Oh shit is that the turkey?! " Sam asks coming over to the site

" This is why I should've cooked the turkey this year" Josh comments

" Helll nooo the whole house would've burned if you took over turkey duty " Jake says to Josh

Danny comes forward and pulls out the turkey with oven-mits quickly setting the turkey on the counter. Sam waves the smoke away with his hand. " Woah, its not burnt " Jake says looking at the turkey that was golden brown. I put my hand over my chest, " Not sure how, but I'm thankful " .

" Well, my perfection of a green bean casserole is ready to be put in the oven " Jake comments adjusting his hat. Josh rolls his eyes as he continues to mix his cornbread mixture.

----

" Damn these dishes look hella good this year " I comment at the dishes that were set on the table that me and the boys made.

I felt a pair of hands wrap around my waist, I look around and see Danny. I give a warm smile and he gently places a kiss on top of my head.

" I wanna give a toast " Danny says raising his wine glass as everyone dd the same listening to him. " I just wanted to say that I am thankful for how far we've come as a band and making music with you guys.. I'm also most importantly thankful for my girlfriend y/n, I love you so much and you make me feel like home, you are my home " He says in a heartfelt manner as he takes my hand and places a kiss on top of my hand. I hear a bunch of awe's from the boys as my cheeks heat up. I give him a kiss on the cheek giving him a warm smile as I feel his hand on my thigh squeezing it in response.

" I love you " He whispers in my ear that gave me goosebumps

" I love you too " I say in response. "Wow, Jake this green bean casserole is good " Sam comments and Jake wiggles his eyebrows at Josh as Josh rolls his eyes

[skallagrimjones]

Obviously this isn't a food blog but I just modified my usual brownie recipe and they turned out so much like girl scout cookies/peanut butter patties, I feel like I've committed a crime, so I need to make you all complicit. Recipe under the cut.

Brownies

2 cups sugar

1 cup canola or vegetable oil

4 eggs (large)

2 t vanilla

1/2 t baking powder

1/2 t salt

2/3 cup cocoa (I highly recommend using black cocoa if you can get it, but any cocoa will work.)

1 cup flour

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350 F and grease a 9x13 pan

Mix sugar and oil until combined and kind of fluffy.

Add eggs and vanilla, mix until just combined.

Depending on how lazy you are: either mix the dry ingredients in a separate bowl and then add them in, or dump them on top of the wet ingredients and mix them together a bit with a fork before mixing them into the wet ingredients. (I usually go for the latter because I'm a clown, it works fine and gives you one less dish to wash.)

Pour into pan and stick in the oven. These usually take 25-30 minutes, but start checking at 20 if your oven runs hot. Toothpick should come out with just a few crumbs or a slight discoloration when they're done.

Let them cool completely before adding the frosting or it'll melt.

Peanut Butter Frosting

1/2 cup peanut butter

1/4 cup (half a stick) butter

1/4 t vanilla

pinch salt

1T cream or milk

3/4-1 cup powdered sugar

Instructions: Cream peanut butter & butter until smooth, then add the vanilla, cream/milk, and salt. Gradually add powdered sugar and keep beating for a few minutes. If it still seems wet and not fluffy/airy, add more powdered sugar. Once it's properly fluffy, spread it over the cooled brownies.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Topping

5.5 oz chocolate chips (just slightly less than 1 cup)

1/2 cup peanut butter

1 T coconut oil (another neutral oil might work but I haven't tried it, so no promises)

Instructions: Melt together in a double boiler or a glass/metal bowl over a sauce pan, stirring until smooth. Take off the pan and let it cool a bit. Pour over the brownies and stick in the fridge until it solidifies. (I threw 'em in overnight, but it shouldn't take longer than an hour or so.)

If you have any extra, this is shell topping, so you can throw it on some ice cream and it'll harden up. Or just eat it with a spoon like an animal, I can't tell you what to do, I'm not your dad.