#i tried for so many years to save him and i can't do it anymore
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my brother just explicitly said to me that he doesn't believe children should be allowed to see queer people and i want to put my fucking head through the wall
#what happened#youtube is so fucking toxic#ultimately it's my dads fault for telling him in the first place but my brother didn't agree with him until he started watching those videos#i just#can't understand how anyone thinks that#i legitimately wonder if i confronted him with it if he would believe i shouldn't be around my sisters#he's fucking 14 does he think this applies to himself as well??#he thinks he's fucking oppressed because he's a straight white boy#he actually thinks that#and i can see that it hurts him#how do you even respond to that#he has no idea what it's like to actually fear these things#no concept of how his privilege affects him#he thinks he's more likely to be expelled than a black kid for the same thing#which is so violently not true??#i'm so tired#i just want to leave#i tried for so many years to save him and i can't do it anymore#shouldn't have been my job in the first place
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— when the time comes
pairing: old man!logan howlett x gn! reader
word count: no idea but this one isn't very long.
part two is out!
tags: major character death — angst — reader is logan’s sunshine — mention of blood & wounds — logan low-key proposing 5 seconds before he dies — non established relationship
author's note: this has been on my mind since 2 days ago so I had to do it now.. I hope you guys enjoy reading this heartbreak! and yes I wrote this after watching Logan (2017) again. just a bit of an alternative type of ending so I can write abt logan x reader! as always reblogs & likes & conversations are sooo welcome ^_^
god stood me up
and I don't know why
lights are on
but nobody's home
you find him leaning against a tree trunk, a chunk of wood piercing his sides open as blood soaks through his shirt. that isn't the only wound he's sporting but it's the most evident one; the one that'll possibly lead him to his demise.
logan blinks upon noticing you as if he's just seeing things or dreaming. when you crouch down beside him and place your hand on his arm, he realizes exactly just how real you are. “logan?” there are tears in your eyes and he hates that you're crying because of him again. you had been living with him, charles and caliban way before it all turned to shit. and somehow the only ones left standing were laura and you. and the kids that logan had managed to save; he truly had saved so many lives.
there's a silence aside from his heavy breathing before your shaky hands cup his face. the blood flows out of his wound and mouth like a river. in some way you're bleeding too — inside your heart. “hey sunshine.” logan whispers with a soft smile and you feel something tear your chest apart from the inside. “I made you cry again.” you see the way his hand twitches by his side. he wants to touch you but he's old and tired and wounded. there's no energy left in him to move anymore. “the kids are okay, laura is okay— I have the car and..and there's still time— the hospital—” your voice trails off when logan closed his eyes.
“you know what makes me angry, sunshine?” logan asks and you simply stare at him, shaking your head. when he opens his eyes again, they are full of unshed tears. “gonna miss my daughter’s first birthday with me—” logan mutters brokenly and the vision of laura swims beneath his half-opened eyelids. and after laura there is you; smiling. at the beach. you've always wanted to go to the beach with him but he never took you since he was working day and night to take care of everything. of everyone. “and i’m also gonna miss my sunshine.” his eyes fall on you, on your crying face. the tears sliding down your cheeks are plenty and there is so much emotion pooling in those orbs of yours. logan wants to kiss you, tell you it'll be alright. but he can’t even move.
he coughs, some blood spluttering on his white shirt and you flinch. your fingers shake as you slide them through his messy hair, stroking them in the way he’s always loved. “logan, I'm sorry...I— I'm so sorry logan..” you keep chanting and logan feels the frustration in his bones when he tries to move his arms. he can't, he's too weak now, and he's angry with himself that he's unable to comfort you the way he wants. the way he once could but never did. “not you nor the entire world could ever prevent this, sunshine. it was meant to be like this.” he says before coughing again, more blood trickling down his beard.
you crawl by his side, on the dirty ground, and press against his ‘good’ side while leaning your head on his shoulder. you tilt your head back enough for your eyes to reach his exhausted face. logan maintains a smile you haven't seen in forever. in damn years to be precise. “charles spoke to me of other timelines and some shit about— multiverse was it?” he pauses, taking a deep breath. “I don't fucking know. I just wanted him to take the damn pills.” his sentence makes both of you laugh although logan is holding back with that — it'll only cause more physical pain after all. “point is..if it's true then—”
“—we gotta find each other yeah? and laura.” his eyes aren't on you anymore but they're in the sky. it's bluer than ever and the clouds part to show him the sun. logan doesn't look away even if it makes his eyes ache. you stare. “wanna make it right, sunshine.” he tells you as you sniffle by him. his fingers flinch again between your bodies and you slide a single hand down to hold his own, to intertwine your fingers in a gentle mess. “but for now I want to rest.” logan whispers and your grip tightens around his hand. if he had the strength, he'd squeeze back. you knew this.
“you did excellent.” you finally manage to say, a little steadier this time. logan averts his gaze to you as you continue. “you did a good job. you did such a good job.” you repeat with a smile so soft that logan starts yearning for you already. his faint chuckle turns into a rough cough and he takes some time to recover before speaking again.
“maybe after I rest, I'll open my eyes and..” you watch as logan’s eyes begin closing and how the heaving of his chest slows. he's deathly pale by now, the veins underneath his eyes are prominent, but your grip never slackens. you crawl closer until your foreheads touch. logan draws one last breath and you swallow down your cry. “and I'll see my daughter. and my... spouse.” your eyes shoot open wide but logan’s remain fallen shut. your chest heaves up and down intensely but logan’s remains still.
when the time comes, your feet are forcefully dragging you away towards your old car while logan lies beneath the ground.
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett angst#major character death#logan 2017#wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#marvel#hugh jackman#hugh jackman x reader#Spotify#old man logan#old man logan x reader#old logan#old!logan howlett
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What if someone from "Sheep"'s old pack came back around and tried to expose them, maybe for joy in suffering or to get people to split away and have an easy meal?
Sorry if this read weird I'm tired as hell
(I doubt any of them would recognize "Sheep" after all these years, but here's what would happen if any predator tried to reveal "Sheep's" identity.")
[Warnings Physical Violence, "Sheep" has a panic attack.]
-
"How stupid can you lot be?"
No...This isn't real. It's all a bad dream, right? You'll wake up any minute now, surrounded by all your friends and neighbors you've yet to acquaint yourself with. Perhaps you'll finally join Rabbit on one of their picnics. Or maybe Swan can teach you how to play chess - surely he must be tired of you asking which piece is which every time you play.
Claws digging into the meat of your shoulders stake you within the world of this cruel reality. This isn't a dream. You can't wake up, even if you chewed your own tongue off and suffocated on the blood as every cell in your body screamed at you to do. It would save you the torment. Your mouth hangs open, ragged draws of air and the smooth, filed surface of your canines preventing you from carrying out the deed.
"A sheep? This thing?" The cackle he barks causes your knees to curl against your chest - body instinctively trying to make you as small as possible. What do you have to be do afraid of? If you weren't so spineless you could've done something by now. Everyone is going to die now, and they'll die hating you.
"I wouldn't be surprised if we grew up from the same pack!"
It won't be long now- the concern for their fellow neighbor bleeding away to further terror and confusion. Were you responsible for the recent disappearances? How long until you devoured everyone? Monster. Beast. Wolf.
The townspeople are in a frenzy. What should they do? If the wolf's claims are true.... No- That could be dealt with that. The most important thing was getting you away from him before he hurt you anymore. They're so many of them. It'd be easy, right? The thought crosses their minds, but no one dares to speak first. A rabbit grows annoyed of their hesitance. Whilst the town is bickering amongst themselves, you're laying there - cowering for your life as that wolf threatens to ruin it for you. It isn't fair. The knife in their basket was for cutting cakes for you to share...
"Liar....."
As the rabbit weaves through the crowd, another resident of the town returns home from her daily gatherings. Rocks weight the pockets of her dress - the shouts and panic from her fellow neighbors channeling miles throughout the forest. Scrambling to find the sharpest one, she throws it directly at the back of the wolf's head.
"You damned liar!"
The wolf staggers forward - a pitiful whine escaping you as his claws retract from your shoulder. Blood gushes from the back of his cranium, a sharp ringing in his ears bring him to his knees - landing center on the blade aimed at his stomach.
"About a week ago, Sheep and I found a robin's nest in my backyard.... They got all teary eyed when the last egg wouldn't hatch... Tell me.... Would a wolf do that?"
Rabbit plants their foot on the wolf's chest, twisting the handle of their knife as they rip it from his bowels. The wolf grabs into their ankle, using what little strength he has to shove them off of him. Mouse leaps onto him from behind, slamming another rock into the nape of his neck.
"Take it back! Take it back! Sheep isn't anything like you! How dare you accuse them! You monster!"
Stop....
Your voice is too quiet for any of them to hear. You doubt that'd stop them anyway. They'll kill him. He came here to do the same, but does that make it right? Strong arms lift you from the dirt floor - mindful of their antlers as they place your head to their shoulder. Mayor Moose always knew you best - hushing your sniffles as soon as they begin. Swan stands off to the side behind him, refusing to meet your eyes. He tucks the coat of his suit over the handgun strapped to his belt.
"I'm sorry..... I'm so sorry."
"What are you apologizing for?" Swan still fails to look up at you. He knows if he does- there's the smallest chance he'll give into your pleads.
"Get some rest. You'll need it after the day you've had."
Carried away from the commotion, the defenses your fellow townspeople confess, the blood they spill so that your innocent is kept - the blood loss and sheer shock of it all lulls you into a dreamless slumber.
It's the best sleep you've gotten in months.
#yandere x you#yandere x reader#yandere oc#yandere#yandere scenarios#yandere insert#yandere headcanons#yandere blurb#yandere drabble#yandere imagines#yandere hybrid#hybrid reader#sheep reader#wolf reader
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Since rewatching Psych, I've been thinking about how weird and arbitrary Shawn's interests are. Sure, late 2000's writing had something to do with it, and maybe a bit of Henry and Gus's influence, but hearing Shawn be so vocal about how he hates certain popular things or (more importantly) refuses to give them a chance BUT at the same time knowing so many pop culture references, it got me thinking.
What if the reason Shawn has so many pop culture references on hand is because of his eidetic memory, and he doesn't actually have as much of an interest in pop culture? Throughout the show, he actively avoids getting roped into big interests and franchises (see: comic books, soap operas, etc.) despite the fact that he genuinely seems excited once he's part of it. In fact, we don't get to see a lot of Shawn's interests at all unless it's based on an idea.
Take being a bounty hunter, for example. According to him, he's obsessed with the idea, but he doesn't make many references to an actual bounty hunter show or franchise. Instead, he just remembers the one bounty hunter he saw as a child and maybe references a movie or two. Because once he remembers something, he's never going to forget it, or at least not for a very long time.
That's why he thinks in references. Everything is a reference if you have a good enough memory. Everything reminds you of something. If Shawn hears someone make a Spock reference, it's in his repertoire forever. But he wouldn't be caught dead watching the shows or movies because that's just too much information. Why on earth would he endure that?
Of course, it also intertwines with his ADHD. He has bouts of energy and trouble focusing. He can't sit still to save his life, and he hyperfixates...or he would if his memory didn't make him averse to it. So if he doesn't want to hyperfixate on an information-based interest, then what does he hyperfixate on? Physical activities. Instead of learning about his favorite daredevil, he tries to be one himself. When he learns about oil rigs, he doesn't get a book from the library. He tries to find oil in his backyard.
This is also where he and Henry differ regarding Shawn's "potential." Henry is correct when he talks about Shawn's "wasted" potential, but he doesn't understand the toil of having this eidetic memory and ADHD. Here's what I think happened: Henry probably noticed Shawn's stellar memory at a young age, realized he has a gift, spoke with his wife about her eidetic memory, learned that you need to challenge your child's eidetic memory at a young age or it'll go away, started the hat game to make it fun and exciting, but then Shawn's ADHD appeared. Suddenly, it made him much harder to raise (because let's be real, Shawn was not an easy child.) Henry didn't know what he was doing anymore, and since it was the 80's, he didn't have the resources to properly understand his kid's behavior, so he tried to find a common interest, and started training Shawn to be a detective "because kids love cop shows." But Shawn struggled to stay attached to one single interest, and when he grew up, he stopped trying to articulate his problems because his mom (the only person who remotely understood his struggles) left, and he blamed his dad for it.
And academics? Those are a joke because what is the point of studying if he already remembers everything? Until, of course, he needs to apply it to a problem-solving test or writing an essay. Suddenly, he's memorizing a math teacher's answer sheet and copying Gus's report.
Yes, Shawn could have been a great cop. He could be an amazing scientist or anything really. He could have been a national spelling bee champion like Gus wanted to be. Even 15 years later, Shawn remembered exactly what word Gus messed up, how to spell the word, and what letter he made Gus slip up, but he didn't want to be on that stage with Gus because that requires so much learning. And so much time. And so much memorizing. And he refuses to sit still for that long when he knows that overloading his head is going to give him migraines.
Also his "I've heard it both ways" probably comes from the fact that people with eidetic memory can still make lots of mistakes if they don't actively commit something to memory. If Shawn only overhears something, he'll still naturally try to fill in the gaps like everyone else, but because he's so confident in his memory, he just believes what he remembers to be true, leading him to repeat incorrect information with confidence. That could also be why some of his references are incorrect due to mixed-up homophones.
Anyway, this post was supposed to be about how Shawn is just a walking movie reference because his memory won't let him forget quotes, but then I fell into a rabbit hole of the negative effects of having an eidetic memory as a child, and I am very passionate about how Henry actually tried his best, and people need to stop calling him a horrible parent. Love y'all. Let me know what you think.
#i just care a lot about the real-life consequences of having an eidetic memory combined with ADHD#psych#psych tv#psych usa#shawn spencer#henry spencer#burton guster#eidetic memory#long post
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AU where Shen Jiu wakes up in the past after diying from having his members ripped from his body and learning Yue Qingyuan's death.
He's not replaced by Shen Yuan but he has 8/9 years of memories of futur events so he decided to make sure that nobody bad will happen to him, he loves having his members thank you very much. And he can save...
Starting with saving Liu Qingge.
He goes sooner in the caves and start to meditate. He needs to be stronger. He needs to be strong.
And he successes to save his Shidi…and almost die in the process.
Liu Qingge brings Shen Jiu to the healers because he's in a bad state and is the one to face the demons.
Later, he's very confused and decides to bring gifts to Shen Jiu in a way to thank him. His sister jokes about those gifts being courting gifts. Bonus if Shen Jiu needs QI transfert (like Shen Yuan in the book) and he decides that his brute is the only one that he will tolerate. So they starts to speak and become closer. And he gets better physically.
(Liu Qingge would be extremely offended if someone says that his QI deviation was a murder attempt from Shen Jiu)
(Someone has tried to said it)
Meanwhile Shern Jiu doesn't know what to do with Luo Binghe. He realizes that 1) he can't kill him 2) This brat has a incredible luck like if destiny was in his side 3) if he hurts him, he will die.
So he stops hurting him but doesn't particulary pay attention to him. He's cold and distant. He's still a strict teacher but isn't especially nice or cruel neither. He will not throw him in the abyss so it'll be ok. He hopes.
Meanwhile, the changes appear in the modern world like a sequel of the original story. Like if this new story, centered on Shen Jiu, was the official sequel.
Shen Yuan is annoyed. "what do you mean the scum villain is the main character now and everything of the future has been erased?"
"What do you mean YingYing is like a daugther for him? He never did anything wrong to her?"
""Wait...how many accusation were accurates then?""
"WHAT IS THIS HORRIBLE BACKSTORY AIRPLANE? YOU FREAKING SADIST!"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN LUO BINGHE ISN'T IMPORTANT ANYMORE?"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE LIUJIU IS A BETTER ROMANCE THAN ANY ROMANCE THAT LUO BINGHE HAS HAD IN THE ORIGINAL STORY?"
A lot of fans are happy because they thought that there had something between Shen Jiu and Liu Qingge.
Meanwhile Shang Qinghua: my son is happy. =) I never thought to his ship but it's perfect!
#liu qingge#shen jiu#original shen qingqiu#shen yuan#shang qinghua#liujiu#svsss#svsss fanfic prompt#svsss fanfic
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nora i went to the show last night (best night ever, i had so so so much fun 😭) when phil is supposed to pull the party popper in the dollhouse when they say gay it wasn’t going and he tried like 6 times and then dan was like are you alright and eventually he grabbed it himself to help and he couldn’t do it either and was like wow this is really on there 😭 then finally he just pulled it super hard and screamed gay and it popped and phil was like yeah we might not be able to use these anymore 💀 also when phil said the 15 years line he messed up and said “in 15 years….. no wait” and dan was like omg… and walked over and grabbed his shoulders and started walking him off the stage and said “come on grandma let’s get you to bed.. in 15 years it’ll be 15 years (old man voice) phil’s turned into a fucking old man”
nora i love them so badly
ohhh i love the bits where they go off script so much :( especially when it's unintentional lmao they're so cute it's so devastating. also hilarious to me how phil can't get the 15 years bit correctly to save his life, at this point he's just inventing new ways of fucking it up every night 😭 i love him <3
sidenote does anyone know of an audio recording of this show? so many people have asked for one but there doesn't seem to be any going around that i can see at least
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Written for @steddie-week.
Long Long Time
Day #3 - Prompt: Mutual Pining | Word Count: 1050 | Rating: T | CW: Language | POV: Steve | Tags: Post S4, Eddie Munson Lives, Idiot 4 Idiot, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication, Platonic Stobin, Robin Knows What's Up
It's not one realization. It's several, over and over again. A steady falling, until he's in so deep, there's just nothing to be done about it.
"Stop pining, dingus," Robin says, and Steve looks up at her and smiles.
"Impossible," he answers.
"Just tell him," she urges, and he shakes his head. Eddie isn't interested. He's made that pretty clear with the distance he's put between them.
"Nah, that's not cool. He's getting ready to go," Steve says, "no reason to make it uncomfortable now."
"Dingus. No. Stop it. I can promise you Eddie is pining for you just as hard."
Steve shakes his head. He knows that's not true. Steve's tried all his best moves over the last two years, everything he knows, and has nothing to show for it, except a heart that's maybe not gonna be his anymore.
Steve sits on the floor of Wayne's house, and helps box tapes. Eddie's going. He's really leaving, and soon.
And Steve's sure that's gonna hurt him for a long, long time.
"So, what're your big plans for this summer, Harrington?" Eddie asks.
Missing you, Steve thinks, but doesn't say.
"Oh, I don't know. Hang out with Rob, I suppose. Find new jobs. You know we like to change it up every so often. Wreak havoc elsewhere."
Eddie laughs, and it makes Steve smile.
"You could come with me, you know," Eddie offers, but keeps looking down at the box he's packing. "Both of you. All of us."
It's not a real offer, Steve knows that. He knows he's supposed to say no, supposed to let Eddie go, without throwing an anchor around his neck.
"Oh, you don't want that," Steve rebuffs, and Eddie looks up. "I'll cramp your style."
Eddie laughs, "Yeah, you know me. Party animal."
Steve grins, "You might become one. You won't want me tagging along for that."
"But, what if I do?" Eddie asks, and Steve looks up at him.
"Eddie," Steve says, trying to cut this off before he embarrasses himself.
"You're one of my best friends, and we could have fun together."
They could. Steve knows that's true. But he can't go live in an apartment with Eddie. Can't watch him spread his wings and date, right in front of Steve's face. That'd be too hard.
Even if part of Steve wants to say yes, desperately, just to cling onto anything that's being offered.
But he's trying to be better about that. Trying to grow, and shit.
He can only let his heart get trampled so many times, and he's nearing his limit. He definitely won't be able to survive it happening under Eddie's boot.
"C'mon, Steve. For me."
And that almost does it. He hates to deny anything that Eddie might want, but sometimes, you've got to save yourself first. Put on your own life preserver, then worry about everybody else. Robin's taught him that. Or, has at least tried to.
"I can't."
"Why? Robin? I said she can come, too!"
"Because we don't feel the same way about each other, Eddie!" Steve snaps, and Eddie turns into himself, immediately.
"Oh. Oh shit," Eddie says, "I didn't know you knew. Wow, that's embarrassing," he mutters, and it kind of makes Steve mad.
"I'm not embarrassed. I can't help who I lov-. Like. Whatever. But I just can't torture myself, man. I want you to be happy, I do. And I'm the wrong guy for making that happen, obviously, so let's just leave it. While we're still friends."
Eddie's nodding, still packing, then he's suddenly frozen in place, "Wait. What? You make me the happiest."
"As a friend," Steve clarifies.
"Well, yeah. But, if you were into it, as more, too."
"Wait. What?" Steve asks, repeating the same thing Eddie had just said. This is gonna turn into Who's on First? if they aren't careful.
"I mean," Eddie says, shying away, "I know you aren't interested like that. But I still want you around."
Steve laughs, fucking cackles, like he's crazy. He feels crazy.
Was Robin right all along? Was Eddie doing the same kind of pining, and Steve just never noticed? Fuck.
They are both goddamn idiots, if that's the case.
"Well, don't laugh," Eddie says, and he sounds dejected.
"Wait, Eddie, hold up," Steve says, crawling across the carpet towards him, putting his hand on Eddie's forearm. "Do we have crossed wires here? Do you like me, like me? Like I like you?'
"You like me?" Eddie asks.
"Uh, yeah," Steve admits, "I have for a while, to be honest."
"Jesus H. Christ, we're idiots," Eddie says, pushing his hand into Steve's hair.
"Dinguses, if you ask Robin," Steve says, smiling, and Eddie's so close he could kiss him.
Steve thinks he will, and leans in, where Eddie meets him halfway. Kissing him, and it's everything, more than Steve hoped it could ever be.
When Eddie pulls back he's smiling, eyes crinkled at the edges, fucking happy.
He looks thrilled, and Steve decides to go all in. In for a penny, in for a goddamn pound.
"I think I'm gonna love you for a long, long time," Steve whispers in a sing-songy way, because even as happy as Eddie looks right now, Steve's still scared his love won't be wanted.
But Eddie just grins even harder.
"What made you think of that song?" Eddie asks, eyes big and bright, almost shiny.
"You hum it all the time," Steve answers, "under your breath. Like it's soothing."
Eddie wraps his arms around Steve's neck, pulling him tighter. Harder. Closer. They're on their knees, so that kind of hurts, but Steve refuses to let him go as Eddie whispers, "It was my mom's favorite song. She'd sing it to me at night."
"Kind of a sad lullaby," Steve says, and Eddie smiles.
"I was kind of a sad little boy," Eddie admits, and Steve runs his hands up and down Eddie's back.
"Well," Steve says, pressing his lips to Eddie's briefly, "if you'll let me, I'm gonna make sure you're not a sad adult."
Eddie kisses him hard at that, and Steve really will. Even if it takes his whole damn life.
"I'll definitely let you. For a long, long time," Eddie echoes, the beginnings of a promise.
And Steve will take that deal.
If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddie-week and follow along with the fun!t
The title is from the Linda Ronstadt song of the same name.
#steddieweek2024#day three#mutual pining#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie fic#steddieweek#thisapplepielife: steddieweek#thisapplepielife: short fic
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plsplsplspls make the toast a series 😭
NATURALLY
izuku midoryia x reader
synopsis: going somewhere old to start something new
authors note: your wish is my command! i’ll probably make one more part beacause of one line i specifically wanna use LOLL
one | two | three | four
"izuku" inko's voice was light, but stern as she carried two mugs over to the small coffee table in her apartment. the same apartment that he had grown up in. of course, he had tried to buy her a house as soon as he received his first paycheck, but she refused. insisted that she didn't need much room for just herself. plus, she loved the little bursts of nostalgia she would get every so often from doing simple things. like making izuku's favorite cookies in the kitchen, or even walking by his old room which she kept perfectly intact. if someone walked in there they might've thought that he was still a teenage boy, but he wasn't.
there in her living room sat her son in his early adulthood. he almost took up half of the loveseat due to the growing muscle on his body. though even due to his increase in size, he shrunk down hearing his mother say his name.
she sat down next to him placing the mugs right on the coasters he had set out "you haven't answered my question"
izuku brought his two fingers up to rub the bridge of his nose "no, we're not together anymore" he mumbled in embarrassment and shame. it never felt good to tell anyone a relationship they invested time and money into didn't end up working out.
she frowned placing a hand on his back to rub slow circles "you got divorced after one week? izuku that can't be right.."
"no, no we didn't get divorced. we were actually, um" he was trying to figure out how to word this correctly to where he didn't sound insane "we were never officially married"
she stopped rubbing giving him a skeptical look "izuku what do you mean you were never married?"
he sighed leaning his elbows against his knees "we were supposed to sign the official marriage papers during the reception in front of everyone then send them in the next day. after that fight though? we just decided to not do it anymore"
"how did the press take it? i haven't seen anything"
"the press didn't know about the engagement or the wedding thankfully. we wanted a peaceful time to plan the wedding. they’re posting a breakup message for the both of us later today though. better to nip it in the bud now”
she nodded her head going to resume in rubbing his back "so when did you officially decide to call it off"
"yesterday"
"any specific reason? or a buildup of many?"
he paused for a moment, mulling over the answer "she would say one specific reason. i would say it built up over time" he shook his head in disbelief "couldn't even agree on that"
"what would she say the one reason was"
a lump caught in his throat at the question. such a simple fucking question that he didn't want to answer. but he knew if he didn't she would be a pain about it.
"y/n"
inko hummed at the very familiar name. you had been over mulitple times in the past years with and without her son. the two of you had grown close and she was like a mother to you. honestly, she had wished that izuku had gotten with you in the first place. would've saved a lot of time and trouble.
"well.. was she a strain to your relationship"
izuku scoffed, almost offended she even asked.
"she was never a problem for me-"
"well of course she wasn't a problem for you. that was your best friend"
"exactly! if uraraka couldn't understand that then it couldn't have worked between us. y/n was one of the first people to believe in me. i owe her a lot and i can't just let her go like that"
inko moved her hand from izuku's back and went to hold his hands instead "face me honey" izuku shifted his body so he was now facing his mother. growing older everyday, but still the strong woman he remembers when he was younger "i just wanted to apologize. for not bring able to give you a normal childhood with two parents in the home"
izuku's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion at her sudden apology "where is this coming from? mom it's fine. you did the best you could and i appreciate that more than anything else you could've done"
she patted on of his hands with a smile "i know you do sweetheart. but i'm mostly apologizing because you couldn't see what a real marriage consists of. the person you marry is one of the most important decisions you will ever make, but the easiest at the same time. love isn't enough to hold a marriage together, you need to be best friends before that. when you love someone on a surface level all you want to do is make sure they're happy. they won't tell you if something is bothering them. they'll follow you blindly into anything. when you marry your best friend you hold them accountable because you want to see them succeed in all that they do. it might make you fight sometimes, but at the end of the day it's worth it. because you have someone by your side you know that will stick it out with you for the rest of your years to come. that's what a marriage should be like"
".. so you're saying i should marry y/n?"
"i'm saying give it time. you don't need to jump back into another relationship immediately after this. what you should be doing is taking time to reflect on what you want, and when you're ready, how y/n makes you feel. and if you do feel something? let it flow. what happens will happen naturally”
---
the smell of hot glue filled your senses as you picked up a seashell from your pile. currently, you were at inko's house doing your monthly crafting sessions. who cares if you hadn't talked to izuku in four months? at least you had his mom.
last month the two of you had went to the beach to crochet, and ended up walking along the beach picking up seashells as you talked. that's when she let you know about the unspoken details of the breakup. you tried to hide your feelings with a stoic face and a simple 'wow'. though inko wasn't buying any of it.
she was currently letting you in on all the work drama she was currently having "i don't know why they want to get in my face like i'm the problem. ma'am, you have an STD, i'm a pediatric nurse. please let me do my job"
you threw your head back in laughter which drowned out the sound of keys jingling in the door.
"hey mom? i got those vegetables you were talking about. don't these tomatoes look fake?" he stopped mid-sentence seeing you sitting there on the floor with the same expression.
"oh no, i must've double booked you two" inko got up taking the bag from izuku's hands "you see every month y/n and i do crafty stuff together and it happened to land on the same day i told you i would make the stir fry"
you gave izuku a quick smile before turning from his lingering gaze "it's okay okaasan. i'll come back another day so we can finish it" you started to gather your things, but inko shook her head "you are staying for dinner. this recipe cooks for four and i am not eating all these leftovers"
you wanted to argue, but knew it would fall onto deaf ears "okay then"
“izuku honey. finish mines while i start on dinner”
“alright” he went to sit on the couch, knee almost brushing onto your shoulder. izuku watched as you placed one of the shells onto your frame carefully. getting the idea he started to do the same exact thing.
you could cut the tension with a knife. silence wasn’t something you were particularly used to with izuku.
“heard you and ochako broke up”
and at this moment he could start listing the things he loved about you.
1. you weren’t afraid to be blunt with him
both of his eyebrows raised and he blew out a puff of air “you don’t hold anything back”
“never did, never will”
he chuckled at your words glancing over at you. there was a slight smile on your face he could tell you were trying to hide. there was a slight slump to your shoulders though as time went on.
he continued with the project figuring he would wait until you spoke again.
like clockwork you turned looking directly into his eyes “can we talk?”
2. you made room for open and honest communication
he nodded placing the picture frame down carefully “yeah, unplug the hot glue and we can go in my room” you nodded unplugging the glue guns and heading over to his old room. he followed after you but not before turning back to his mom “we’re gonna talk”
she gave him a nod, but then quickly turned around when it finally registered “talk? like the talk? the talk so that you two can get together so i can finally have grandbabies talk?-“
“if i say yes will you stop it with that?”
“yes”
“then yes that talk”
she shooed him off into the room as if it was him holding them up. he rubbed the back of his neck while walking inside. with the other hand he closed the door with a soft click.
“how much of that did you hear?”
you shrugged going to sit on the bed “i didn’t hear any of it if it makes you feel better”
“it does actually” he sat himself down next to you with a huff. kirishima would probably kick him right now for how unmanly he’s being. forcing you to step up and take charge of the situation. he just wanted to test the waters out and see how you felt first.
“i guess i just wanted to catch up. really see how you’re feeling. cause i know you posted on the media you ended everything on good terms, but is everything really okay? i mean you broke up with the woman you thought you’d be spending the rest of your life with. it’s okay to be upset”
3. you genuinely cared for him no matter what
“i-“ he cleared his throat from the unexpected voice crack that had arose “sorry, i’m pretty fine now actually. i just feel guilty for making ochako feel embarrassed about the whole situation. other than that.. i really don’t think we were meant to be anyways”
“what do you mean you didn’t think you were meant to be anyways? why’d you propose in the first place then?”
he shrugged taking off a loose strand on the all might themed duvet “i don’t think i knew what marriage was about. but i was informed very recently on what it is about and my vision changed” he watched as you turned to look at him with eyebrows raised.
“oh yeah? changed to what?”
“you”
your playful demeanor dropped immediately. his words truly sinking into the both of you. he attempted to scoot closer to you, but you backed away hesitantly.
“izuku we can’t do this. where you break up with ochako and come running to me? i’m not a second choice you know that right?” this is what you had always wanted, but at this moment it didn’t feel that way. with the current circumstances how else were you supposed to feel?
izuku’s eyes widened when he heard that and redness quickly creeped up his neck. he held both hands up shaking his head “that’s not it i swear! you were never my second choice. in fact, you were always my first. i could just never admit it to myself that maybe, maybe we could make it work romantically. i- i am attracted to you and everything like that! maybe i was with uraraka for so long that i didn’t notice what was right in front of me”
your throat had gone dry. was this really happening? the boy you’d been crushing on for eternity is finally asking you out after leaving his longtime girlfriend. totally normal, and totally not a chance you were willing to give up.
you wasted no time grabbing both of his cheeks and pulling him down for a kiss. startled was an understatement as he felt his lips connecting to yours. though as he realized what was truly happening, he wasn’t complaining. he shut his eyes moving one hand to your cheek and the other on your waist.
despite the quick start, the kiss was soft and slow. tongues gently brushing together in steady movements. when you pulled away, there was a goofy smile on your face. izuku trailed more kisses from your cheek, to your jaw, right down your neck.
4. you were a damned good kisser
“you’ve got a lot of work to do. i hope you know that”
izuku hummed nodding his head “i’m willing to work for it”
“hm.. izu?”
“yeah” he mumbled clearly not wanting to your time be interrupted.
“i’m not saying this doesn’t feel nice, because it does, but can we save it? for one your mom is on the other room. and two? all might is staring dead into my soul”
he pulled away face bright red turning to the poster you were talking about. there he was in all his glory. all might standing there in his signature hero suit, beady blue eyes staring directly at the viewer. izuku turned back to you not being able to contain his laughter. you were right behind him leaning your head on his shoulder in a fit of giggles.
5. you were his best friend
taglist! @sagejin @crybabyl0l @yoihoshi-maki @reads-stuff-quietly @aejabba @valenspuppy @v3n7s 🫶🏾
let me know if you want to be added!
#honeipie#anime#bnha x reader#mha#writing#x reader#izuku midoriya#izuku midoryia x you#mha izuku#bnha izuku#izuku x reader#izuku midoria x reader#mha midoriya#bnha midoriya#midoriya x reader#my hero academia#bnha deku#deku x y/n#deku x reader#mha deku
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Not to kick a dead horse, but there is a way to make Pier's death genuinely very loaded and tragic that fandom consensus just seems to continue to miss! I've never seen a take about Piers's death being about PIERS, but all about "ooohh chris lost a good one" and how the two are not able to fuck anymore. But I am going to free you from these shackles while I zero in on Chris' comment of
"I wanted him to replace me."
Surely Piers was being trained to take Chris' job ideally after a decent retirement party, but neither of them get that luxury because Edonia happens, and Chris is gone. The beloved captain has vanished, and the person who's supposed to take his job is right there, so they give it to him. It's Piers responsibility to not only be a face of what the BSAA represents, but also the heavy shackles of expectations are slapped onto him.
Everyone wants Chris, which means Piers can't be himself nor figure out how to run the same jobs his way. No, it has to be Chris' way. There's no time for anyone to adjust and shift gears either with the C-Virus outbreaks, the terrorist attacks from Ada*(Carla), and the search party he shambled together to locate the missing Redfield. So he tries his damnedest to fill Chris' shoes and suddenly realizes just how out of his depth he is. There were so many reasons people called Chris for certain tasks, even tasks Piers hadn't known about and definitely hadn't been trained on, that Piers never saw. There's no mentor to dial. No reference other than fellow soldiers saying things like, "We don't know how, he just got it done," which is the least helpful thing in the world. Hell, there's barely any notes to go through when he searches Chris' office for a semblance of a hint as to how he should do this job.
Maybe it turns out Chris was doing his best to gently ease that heavy mantle into Piers' hands. It's why his scheduled retirement seemed so far away at the time. Perhaps, after one comment too many where he'd been accidentally addressed by the name of his captain for the 50th time, Piers breaks. He can't do this. He's not ready for this. He needs the one person who did all this back by any means necessary, so he drops all the work and joins the search party. He verbally harasses an amnesiac Chris into coming back because maybe it isn't that bad. Maybe Chris just needs a reminder of what he's been doing everyday for literal years and things would be back to normal again.
But it's not. It's messier. It's uglier. This isn't the Chris he worked so hard to fight alongside. There are glimpses of him in there, but most of the time in China, Piers feels like he's working with a stranger. People die, and Chris keeps pushing forward no matter how much he's shouted at, and Piers feels like this is all his fault. The deaths are his fault because he couldn't buckle down and do what Chris originally wanted him to do. Take Chris' place. Replace him. Be better than him.
So when they go to that underwater facility, and their backs are against the wall, there's the looming sense of failure and a terrifying amount of pressure. If they get out of this alive, who knows when Chris would be back in shape to work again if that ever happens. Piers would have to be responsible. He was already responsible for the squad he gathered to take up this job, and they were skewed into pieces around downtown Lanshiang. Take Chris' place. Replace him. Be better than him, and Piers failed on all accounts. He couldn't get Chris back the way he was supposed to be. His squad was dead. The responsibility he'd have to take up if they made it out alive would be nigh unbearable, and then he gets infected.
He gets infected and suddenly the decision is so easy. To let go. To hope for the best. To be the one left behind when he was supposed to be the one moving towards the future. Another glimpse of the Chris that Piers knew is seen, a more confident glimpse wherein Chris does everything he can to try and save him. And Piers smiles when Chris fails. When he saves Chris. When he seems to finally do one thing right after things never seemed to stop falling apart.
It's the last thing Chris sees. That smile and the ever encroaching weight of immeasurable responsibility that'll grasp him tight as soon as he breaks the surface. The weight Piers couldn't take from him, and maybe never wanted in the first place.
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give yourself a reason | m. murdock
a/n: hi guys. this is much different than what I promised you last time I posted and it's a lot different than what i usually post but i've been struggling so intensely with my depression and anxiety and genuinely the only thing that's gotten through it is "you can't kill yourself yet, you haven't seen daredevil born again" so i guess this is a fic about that lmao warnings: massive trigger warning for depression and suicidal thoughts, like just. pretty much the entire fic is the reader wanting to die and having bad mental health. besides maybe some cursing (but i cant recall) that's pretty much it. word count: 2.1k summary: the devil of hell's kitchen talks you off a ledge (literally) pairing: matt murdock x gn!reader now playing: call your mom - noah kahan "medicate, meditate, save your soul for jesus/throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason/don't wanna drive another mile without knowin' you're breathin'"
You are the light in a dark room for so many people.
You are the glue of your friend group—Constantly planning hangouts, constantly responding to text messages, you’re always there for people.
You visit the bodega at the corner every morning for a large coffee and to pet the bodega cat.
You bring donuts in to work every Friday, for no reason other to bring joy to people’s lives.
You have every reason to live.
You…
Are standing on the ledge of your building, wondering if you’d pass out before you hit the ground.
You’ve dealt with depression for years. It’s been an uphill battle since you were eleven, maybe even earlier. And it goes through phases—Sometimes, you just coexist with it. It lives in the corner of your brain, where a lamp or a soulmate should be. You know it’s with you, but sometimes it just sits on your shoulder, observing.
Other times, it shackles you. It weighs you down, pulling you down under the crashing waves, and every time you pull yourself up to breath, it drags you down faster, more relentlessly.
It’s an intense unfortune that you could blame on any number of things, and you have tried.
But things have been bad recently.
And it’s not that your life is particularly hard right now—There’s no looming deadlines, your relationships are all fine, you thought you were happy, really, but one day you woke up.. unable to come up with a reason.
For as long as you can remember, you’ve found a reason. For a long time you thought, no, I couldn’t do that to my mom. Then, you said if you could just make it to college, everything would be easier. And then, you figured if you could make it to New York City, you’d be able to cope with things.
And it worked for a while, but—
“Hey,” A voice says from behind you, “hey, just—take a step back.” The voice says, and you tilt your head back, trying to look at who has interrupted you in this vulnerable moment.
“Go away,” You demand, your voice harsh as you realize you are not dealing with just any old witness- The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen stands behind you.
You know all about him. He popped up a year or two before you moved to the city, and you’ve always kind of daydreamed about him saving you—You’ve seen pictures and videos of him, glimpses of him.. But they’re just fleeting moments of a silly crush.
“You know I can’t do that,” He says, his voice getting closer. “I won’t do that.”
Then you feel tears in your eyes. Nothing can be easy, can it?
“Please,” You beg, “I’m not hurting anyone, I just.. want it to stop.”
“You are hurting someone. You’re about to hurt yourself and I won’t let that happen.” But he knows you won’t step away. And he doesn’t want to tackle you off the ledge.
“Please,” You say again, a shaky hand wiping your cheek, your heartbeat thumping out of your chest. You don’t want to die. You just don’t want to be in pain anymore.
“Let’s just sit,” he offers, his voice much closer to you now. “You don’t have to get off the ledge, just sit.” He requests.
“Look, devil man, I really don’t want you to give me some speech about how life is worth living, okay? Just—”
“We don’t have to talk about why you’re up here,” he says, “We can just sit.” From the corner of your eye, you see him sitting next to where you stand, his legs dangling over the edge.
He offers you a hand to help you sit down.
You take it.
And you’re not even sure why, because you don’t want to talk to this man, no matter how you admire what he does to other people. You sit next to him, and you feel yourself getting pulled down again, unable to breathe. Static fills your brain, repeating horrible things, telling you that everything for everyone would be easier if you just—
“Have you ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a woman?”
“What?” You blink, now looking at him. What a ridiculous thing to say to a person who was about to kill themselves?
“Well, have you?”
“Uh.. No.” You answer, your face still twisted in confusion. “No, I’ve never considered that.”
“I always hear about people talking about this hypothetical doctor behind the soda, and they always refer to them as a man. Kind of messed up,” He shrugs.
“I don’t understand,” You respond honestly.
“I told you we didn’t have to talk about why you were up here, but I never said anything about not talking at all.”
You suppose he has a point.
“Okay.” You answer, feeling awkward now.
“Have you lived in the City long?” He wonders aloud.
“No,” You find yourself echoing the same story you’ve told a thousand times. “No, I moved here about a year ago.”
“Do you like it?”
Your stomach churns.
“Yeah.” You’re having a hard time being more descriptive than that.
“Have you been to see any good shows?” he asks, “Oh, have you seen Wicked?”
You’re confused again. You glance back at him. The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen is asking you if you’ve seen a Broadway musical about The Wicked Witch of the West. Much like the question about Dr. Pepper, you’re just extremely caught off guard, because it seems so out of character.
“Not in years.” You answer, “I saw it with my mom when I was younger.”
“Well you should see it again.” He said, “It’s really good, even better than you remember.” He promises.
“Why are you talking about this?” You answer, and he sighs.
“The confusion is on purpose,” He confesses, “I heard somewhere that if you can just distract someone having an episode, it might pull them out of it.”
You do feel.. better.. You suppose. You’ve been pulled above water, able to breathe, because in your confusion, there was no room for any static or bad thoughts to get in. Maybe better is a strong word, but there’s an absence of all of the intense thoughts that distracted you.
“Oh.. Thank you.” Is all you find yourself saying.
“I’m gonna go back on my promise,” he starts, “I need to ask you why you feel like this is your only option.”
Your shoulders fall a bit, remembering everything.
“You’re a liar.”
“Just try.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Have you ever tried it?”
“Tried what?”
“Verbalizing it, saying it all out loud?”
Well, now you feel silly. Very silly. You know a therapist might help, but you’ve been busy. And—
“You have your own problems,” You start, “I can’t ask you to take on my problems, too.”
“I asked you to talk about it,” he responds, “Besides, we don’t even know each other. You’re not burdening me, I promise.” And you’re inclined to believe him.
So, you take a deep breath and search for your words.
“I just can’t find a reason.” You start. “I’ve always been able to find a reason before, a reason to keep going, to push ahead, but..” You blink. “I just can’t find it. I’ve gone through all my usuals.”
“What about your mom?” he asks, recalling your earlier comment about him.
“She was the reason for a long time.” You confess, “But she has my stepdad now. Everyone’s taken care of. My friends, my siblings, my mom.. The only one who’s alone is me.”
The Devil doesn’t say it, but his heart aches for you.
“People would miss you,” he recalls his own depression, “They’d grieve you as intensely as they love you.” He reminds, and you know that.
“They’d find a way to move on.” You reason, “They’d have to figure it out.”
“How long have you been dealing with these feelings?”
“As long as I can remember.” You respond, “I thought if I could survive my childhood, it would stop. Moving here, that was supposed to be the end, but..” You frown. “After the honeymoon phase, I’m just back in that hole.”
“There’s ways to get you out of that hole,” He promises.
“How?” You demand, tears filling your eyes, “Tell me a reason I should keep going that I haven’t heard, that I haven’t thought, that actually gets through to me,” You ask.
He pauses. It’s a tall order.
“You know there’s no magical cure.” He starts, “But you find the little things. You can’t find any big reason to live? Fine. Find the small reasons,” He reasons, “The way sun feels on your skin, your favorite team winning a game, a homecooked meal.”
“Give me a big reason.” You request.
“I can hear heartbeats,” he says, and when you scoff, he shakes his head, “No, seriously. So, here’s your big reason: Don’t make me listen to your heart stop beating.”
It’s a low blow. A hit to your core, right to the part of you that feels guilty you even have these feelings.
“Let me walk you home.” He says after a moment.
“I live in this building,” You say, and for a moment, you almost think that the Devil tenses, like he hadn’t realized that.
“Then let me walk you to your apartment. It’s cold out here, c’mon.” He offers.
“How do you know I won’t just do it tomorrow? Or after you leave?”
“I trust you,” And somehow you don’t believe him. But he swings his legs around and stands on the solid ground of the roof. He offers his hand to you again. “Let’s go inside.”
You take his hand and let him guide you off the ledge, and it only takes a few steps for you to start crying—truly sobbing at the idea of what you were about to do. The Devil is right; tonight won’t be the night.
And as soon as he listens to you start sobbing, his arms are around you like he’s known you your entire life. He’s warm, safe. His hand gently rubs your back, his pointer finger running up and down your spine. The Devil gives wonderful hugs, it reminds you of hot soup on a winter day, the first hot day of spring after a long winter, and a memory from before depression reared it’s ugly head at you, of being three, maybe four years old on Christmas Eve, wrapped in blankets, safe and loved, with a full stomach of food.
You don’t know him, but you know right then and there that you’ll be grateful to him forever.
“It’s okay,” he says softly, his voice like a lullaby, “You’re okay. I’ve got you, sweetheart.” You can tell he means the words, that they aren’t obligatory, but genuine. He’ll look after you. He lets you cry into his shoulder for a long time, reminding you to breath.
When there’s no tears left to cry, The Devil gently pulls away, his hand now on your cheek as he wipes away the tears that run down your face.
And there’s only one thing left to say,
“Let me take you home.” He says gently. And you nod, words escaping you. You walk with him down to your apartment, letting him tuck you into bed after drinking some water. As you wait for sleep to find you, he gently brushes hair from your face as he asks, “Promise me you’ll call someone tomorrow. A therapist, a help line, your mom. Promise me you’ll find the help you need. Promise me you’ll find a reason.”
Studying his features, since, you don’t know when you’ll see him again, you nod.
“I promise.”
He leans forward and kisses your forehead. It’s foreign. Welcomed. Paternal.
“Good. Goodnight, sweetheart.”
“Don’t be a stranger,” You request, and you see the corners of his lips twitch up.
“I’ll tell you what,” He starts, “I’ll come visit you tomorrow night, too. Okay?”
“Okay.”
The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen saves people—but not everyone needs to be saved in the same way.
He waits for you to fall asleep before he leaves, breaking the lock on the door up to the roof so you can’t get up there, not until they fix it. Then, he makes his way to the window on the other side of your floor, to the apartment down the hall from yours.
He crawls into the window and pulls off his cowl, before showering, and then crawling into bed. He hopes you’ll find a reason, but he knows he’ll show up again if you can’t. That’s just the type of person he is.
#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock#daredevil#matt murdock x you#matt murdock x y/n#matt murdock fic#daredevil fanfiction#daredevil fic#matt murdock fluff#matt murdock angst#daredevil angst#depressed!reader#tw depression#tw suicide#tw suicidal thoughts#mental health#mental illness
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Okay I can't not talk about this anymore– I've got a headcanon/canon-compliant au/interpretation of the Life Series events (as I'm sure many of us do) and the most recent season is working so well I just have to talk about it somewhere
sticking it under a cut, bc I just know im gonna go off and make a long post :P
(I haven't been in this fandom very long, so this is probably not very original, but I don't care! I'm having fun! anyway–)
The Life Series is a time loop. And Grian is the one who's keeping it going.
It was just meant to be a fun game, but then the Watchers found him. They warped Grian's game into their own twisted tournament, with the intent to take the winner as their champion.
They're about to take Grian again, when he reaches out with the power he'd kept locked away, and he resets the world.
Every time the bloodshed stops and the Watchers are about to reap their champion, Grian wrenches them back into the void and forces a world reset.
Except... with every reset, the world cracks a bit more. First, it was the boogey man. Is it the Watchers trying to push their influence on the players? Or is it something else? Grian isn't sure.
It goes until Secret Life. And then Grian is absolutely sure, because the world has shifted enough for the Watchers to slip their claws into it. They've gotten impatient. They want their champion. Grian tries, but there is only so much he can do with the weight of the tasks on his back. His own power is beginning to slip through too– he even manages to bring Jimmy back for a time, even if it's only a ghostly projection.
And then it's over. Grian is dead, drifting in the void.
(I have a scene in my head where he speaks with Mumbo while waiting for the end of the session. he basically tells Mumbo that he's been doing this and he doesn't know how to stop it, because he has to save them all)
And then Scar wins. And it nearly breaks him. Grian hovers over him, prepared to grab him and reset the world, when the Watchers yank Grian back into the void. It's a harsh, eldritch conflict in the void, and it's all Grian can do to hold onto his sanity, and throw his friends into the next loop.
But in it all, he momentarily forgets Scar. Still in the previous loop. He goes back to get him, but it's been an entire year for Scar. He's weary, and barely registers that Grian is real.
This new loop is the most broken yet. But Grian is still holding it all together as best he can. If it weren't for him, every weird aspect of this world would descend on his friends all at once and they would instantly die and Grian would lose track and then he would lose them–
So he holds things back, trying to keep things straight and monitor how his friends are doing. But he's starting to slip.
Mumbo knows what he's doing, and it doesn't sit right with him.
Scar is a victor. And his lonely year has given him plenty of time to regain lost memories.
Ren doesn't quite understand everything, but he knows Grian knows way more than he should.
Grian's not going to be able to hold it all together for much longer.
#grian#life series#life series smp#traffic series#traffic smp#trafficblr#how may tags are in this fandom#life series au#third life#wild life#wild life smp#third life smp#secret life#limited life#last life#double life#“life” doesn't feel like a word anymore#secret life smp#limited life smp#last life smp#double life smp#watcher grian#idk#I don't want to tag everyone I mentioned#so I won't#ive tagged enough I think#this is extremely surface level btw#but adding more details would have disrupted the flow#I feel sick looking at all those tags
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DATING MODERN!SEJANUS PLINTH!
modern!sejanus plinth x fem!reader
✮ summary: in which I live out my truth as a Sejanus Plinth truther and write modern headcanons abt him if he was your bf!
✮ author's note: why can't God make men like him anymore istfg!!! (Guys di na nakakatuwa.)
✮ warnings: cussing cuz yeah
modern!sej who's basically just a POC Peter Parker variant, they're so alike it is sickening.
modern!sej who's had a crush on you since the start of high-school when you and him wound up in the clinic because he had a bad case of influenza and you had a stomach bug.
modern!sej who'd drag Coryo around the campus just so they'd bump into you. (you'd smile and he'd greet hello with three consecutive O's and Coryo was not pleased, often rolling his eyes at Sejanus' giddy grin when you'd be a few steps past them.)
modern!sej who listens to you ramble and talk his ear off with conspiracy theories, realizations, gossip, chiming in every now and then. (He usually tells you off for talking people behind their back but he loves it gossip as much as you do if not more.)
modern!sej who I personally feel like is into a ball sport nobody would expect him to be in to (like volleyball) and he's one of the most kick-ass players out of the entire team and whenever there'd be matches against other schools you'd be cheering the loudest yk and you'd be wearing his Jersey and all that HEDGSHSH.
modern!sej who'd sometimes switch seats with Coryo when the teacher in the class he's in does a count off for groupmates just so he'd be grouped with you.
modern!sej who loves spoiling you with his dad's money just because he can and he absolutely will.
"Sej, just because I tried all these clothes on does not mean I have the intention of buying them."
"Well you aren't buying them, I am. Plus if I'm not getting them for you now, sooner or later you'll have them all in your closet somehow."
modern!sej who loves taking you to aquarium dates to go see the jellyfish and the sharks.
modern!sej who plans out everything he'll say to you in his mind before he says them out loud so he doesn't end up embarrassing himself in front of you.
modern!sej who always gives you the bigger half when he breaks food into two parts.
modern!sej who is DEATHLY afraid of heights. (When you first started dating you joked about how everyday was practically a living hellscape for him because he was so tall.)
modern!sej who's saved the most dazzling contact photo of you while you just have a horrendously lighted 0.5 pic of him you took at 5 in the morning.
modern!sej who'd purposefully drop sordid drawings he managed to doodle in the middle of class into your backpack so during the next period you'd find them and you'd start giggling to yourself and your classmates would give you stares.
modern!sej who is definitely the big spoon (but wouldn't be opposed to being the little spoon either.)
modern!sej and you who would pass notes in the middle of class as well, even if you two were at the very back of the classroom and sitting next to eachother.
Arachne's voice is making me want to kill myself
Don't say that, that's mean
Oh come on Sejanus, even you aren't too saintly to admit her voice sound terrible
Fine, I guess it's sorta irritating
Her voice sounds like if a dog's squeaky toy crawled off to have sex with a bagpipe
(then you two would burst out into silent laughter.)
modern!sej who is SUCH a fucking nerd (he's one of the top 5 highest grading students in your year, in decathlon, the debate team, men's volleyball varsity, the school paper) sometimes when he recites in class he'll subtly glance your way to see your reaction to his answer.
modern!sej who let's you pick out as many books you want from the library he has conjoined to his room. (When he gets them back there are ALWAYS annotations scrawled out on translucent sticky notes.)
modern!sej who is anxious af and he always fidgets in his seat whenever he's stressed or worried or scared and you'd let him doodle on your hands to make him feel better (plus I think he's really good at drawing too.)
modern!sej who will absolutely drive you to McDonald's if you're hungry at 3am (chances are he's hungry too.)
modern!sej who is obsessed with old film cameras and digital cameras, most often than not you're his subject and every other photo in his camera roll is a candid picture of you.
modern!sej who can recite every riff off word by word of the Pitch Perfect trilogy without missing a beat.
modern!sej who'd bring you baked goods whenever you were upset saying they were made by ma plinth, but in truth, were made by him.
modern!sej who wonders every second of every day how you ended up with him.
modern!sej who gets jealous when you hang out with festus or felix a little too long after class. But never makes it obvious.
modern!sej who's funny unconventionally. His sense of humour dosen't make everyone laugh but it sure as hell will get a snort and a giggle out of you.
modern!sej who'd eat the things you'd pick off of your food. (olive theory HDHSHSH)
modern!sej who remembers the littlest things about you too, how you take your coffee, the certain type of pens you prefer, your favorite author, your favorite type of flower, favorite swear word.
modern!sej who'd never hesitate to help you with schoolwork if you were having a hard time understanding the topic. (He won't stop until he makes sure you have a firm grasp on the topic and you're convinced he could make an amazing teacher.)
modern!sej who looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky.
modern!sej who'd blush whenever ma plinth would bust out his old baby photos whenever you'd come over to their house.
modern!sej who'd participate in cringy couple tiktok trends if it would make you happy.
modern!sej who'd get incredibly competitive just to win you a prize at the carnival.
modern!sej who collects little trinkets that match the color of your eyes and randomly give them to you.
modern!sej who'd listen to you yap and find it adorable
modern!sej who loves photobooths and would always convince you to take photos with him. (Your go to pose is to flip the camera off.) Then you'd get the top half and Sej gets the bottom half.
modern!sej who hates coffee and loves to drink tea (he dosen't do well with caffeine.)
modern!sej who is a sore loser when it comes to card games.
modern!sej who'd write prose and poetry about you (but he wouldn't dare show it, he wouldn't want to make you cry.)
modern!sej who is a GOD at karaoke (he also may or may not be a Broadway kid)
modern!sej who'd instantly agree and laugh when you'd send him things and say "this is so us."
modern!sej who would come over to your house whenever he'd get into a fight with his dad, he'd get so angry while trying to let go of all the pent up emotions he'd start crying and you're always there to comfort him.
modern!sej whose love language is acts of service, would always without a doubt be up for anything, he'd always be there when you need help, whatever the job calls for Sej seems to be always overqualified. When you feel like the world is against you he'd remind you that it's him and you against the world, neither of you were going to be alone in this fight anymore as long as you had eachother. (Then you'd laugh and tell him how incredibly cheesy it was.)
modern!sej who loves watching films, so more often than not you two would be found at the movie theater munching on some free popcorn because the guy that works the concessionaire stand knows you guys well enough to just give you guys free food.
modern!sej who is a munch. Enough SAID.
#tbosas#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#sejanus plinth x reader#sejanus plinth#sejanus plinth x you#the hunger games#josh andres rivera#sejanus x reader
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Thoughts on Drarry and post war relationship?
Like, with canon in mind, do you think that Harry would fall first, Draco would or it'd be at the same time?
And who do you think would act on those feelings first and how would the Wizarding world react to the great Harry Potter being in love with a Death Eater?
Because I always viewed Harry as someone that knows what he wants and won't shy away from it, whereas Draco might have a harder time with all of it due to the fact he is a Death Eater, and while I don't think there's actual evidence of it, I always thought he'd feel unworthy of forgiveness and love after the war, so I think that if Harry fell for him Draco would try to push him away.
Sorry it these are two many questions for just one convo but I'm curious on your thoughts
What an absolutely delightful ask! I love getting things like this in my inbox. Definitely not too many questions. Thanks for waiting till I had a chance to sit down and write out a proper answer.
I think it's quite possible that by partway through 7th year Draco was forced to come to terms with the fact that he has feelings for Harry Potter. Strong feelings. Once in a lifetime love feelings in fact. He's tried to run from it and he just can't anymore. Oh he's not foolish enough to think anything will ever come of it. Even if by some miracle they both survive the war he knows he ruined any chance of that long ago. But he does have to face the fact (which he's been hiding from for so long) that the feelings are there. (Meanwhile Harry's too busy compartmentalizing as hard as he can because he's got a war to fight).
And then the war ends and he goes right back to denial - trying to insist to himself that he's over it, he's moved on, he has. Because the alternative is too painful to deal with. Though when he meets Harry again - whether in 8th year or after - he can't help caring more than ever what Harry thinks of him. If they meet again many years later maybe Draco's even given up on trying to convince himself he'll ever be over Harry. He's in unrequited love with Harry Potter. It's just a fact of life, a tragic and painful condition he lives with (though he'd just die if anyone found out). Of course Harry would never want him but it's terribly important to him that Harry at least not think that he is who he used to be. He goes to great lengths to show Harry that he's changed because he needs Harry to know that much at least. Even though he knows it probably hardly matters because ultimately he's just a footnote in Harry's life. It's not like Harry thinks about him.
Harry, of course, thinks about Draco. A lot. Somehow in the aftermath of it all his mind keeps going back to Draco (and also their lives somehow keep intersecting) - returning the wand, thinking about how Draco saved him, maybe inexplicably missing the hawthorn wand a bit, speaking at Draco's trial, perhaps exchanges of letters in the aftermath. And beyond that. Harry can't help notice Draco anytime he's in his vicinity. Can't help reading and remembering any article about him. Can't help wondering what he's up to and making it his business to find out. And when they finally do start interacting regularly he can't help being struck by how much Draco has changed and how enjoyable he actually is to be around in a strange way, and how Draco no longer treats him badly but does still treat him as a person and not a mythical, nearly godlike figure.
Of course, this is not to say that I think they would just immediately fall into each other's arms while Harry quotes the best drarry metas at any doubters. I personally find it jarring and ooc when fics have Harry suddenly hate Draco postwar and be mad that he didn't go to Azkaban and have to be talked around by his friends who are somehow all besties with Draco while Harry is the outlier, because Harry never hated Draco even when he had the most cause to and felt more sympathy for him than others and even lied to obfuscate his crimes. So I don't think that makes sense.
But I also don't think it makes sense for Harry to just immediately act like besties with Draco postwar and start talking about him like he's swallowed a dozen tumblr metas. Because that doesn't feel true to life either. Yes they're drawn to each other. Yes postwar a lot of the barriers keeping them apart are gone. But it would still take time to get over the past contentiousness between them. Harry would need to see that Draco had changed. Especially if we're talking 8th year when emotions are still running high and all their wounds are fresh.
Or even later. I can see Harry initially being suspicious of Draco. I can see Draco caring way too much what Harry thinks of him but that emotion translating into him lashing out when that's the last thing he actually wants to do. Because that's what he tends to do when he's feeling vulnerable. I can see Harry being way too upset and disappointed if he thinks Draco might not have changed, while his friends wonder why he's taking it so personally. And I can see Harry, who is way more introspective than he often gets credit for, starting to think hard about his relationship with Draco and why what Draco does post-war matters to him quite so much.
He might tell himself he's investigating Draco for the safety of others, or even for Draco's own good so he doesn't waste the chance Harry gave him. But it's more than that. And if Harry realizes that Draco's in trouble somehow he's resolved to help. He's tired of the fight. And Draco feels the need to thank Harry somehow, to show him he's changed. Though he's also mystified about why Harry would speak up for him yet again, when he's already done so much. Except of course Harry would do that. Because he's just a good person like that isn't he? Draco was just too busy being jealous and spiteful over something he could never have to notice wasn't he? (It's way more than that of course; Draco has never been just another person to Harry).
Anyway they are always drawn to each other and they always find each other. In 8th year if they go back to Hogwarts or through letters or some other way otherwise. And however many years pass before it happens they both live rent free in each other's heads. Awkward and stilted conversations become less awkward over time and leads to joking that each finds surprisingly enjoyable and then more conversations and confidences and each finding it increasingly difficult to not notice how handsome the other is. And well, one thing leads to another. Harry's the first one to make a move because Draco would never. Even if he thinks the feeling is reciprocated he assumes it's just too impossible given who he is. It would ruin Harry's life.
Even once they get together Draco assumes this will have to be no more than a fling, a dirty shameful secret that Harry will probably regret someday. Harry's not buying that. He doesn't care what the public thinks and never has. And he tells Draco so.
When it inevitably eventually hits the press obviously a lot of the coverage is not kind. Eventually Harry starts to wonder if maybe Draco cares. And he actually pulls a Quibbler 2.0 and gives an interview and by the end of the week the public is obsessed with the epic story of 2 star crossed lovers. Of course, for some Draco's past can never be forgiven and Harry can never be forgiven for associating with him. But Harry doesn't care. He never asked people to look up to him in the first place.
Other people though are thrilled by the story of their epic romance. It's got rivals to lovers caught on the opposite sides of a war, it's got redemption, it's got drama, it's got heartbreak. What's not to like? Sure a lot of the details get mangled. But it works out alright in the end. And eventually as the years and decades go by it's just another story that was big in the day but is now just a fact of life.
#asks#drarry#hpdm#dmhp#h/d#Harry Potter#Draco Malfoy#harco#drarry meta#harry x draco#harry potter x draco malfoy#harry/draco#harry potter/draco malfoy#my meta#drarry g
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You fucked up again. Just when Harry thinks you've learned from your mistakes, you go and do something ten times as devious. Which is why he's giving you that same glazed over look, the one where he's concocting severe punishments. It's not anger, it's almost exhaustion. It's giving, "how many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man" from Spongebob. But unlike last time when you accidentally pushed him too far, this was purposeful.
Harry has a grueling job. He works a lot of long hours, he has to deal with idiots all day long, and he cannot stand the other partners at his firm. You were his saving grace. You, who was working as a para-legal just to support yourself while you ran your online jewelry store, started assisting Harry. You'd pull the files he needed. You could type more than 100 words a minute. And you had been so innocent. Not naiive, not a prude, but you were blissfully ignorant, and Harry found that to be very cute. So, when you inevitably started hooking up after one too many long nights together, he opened your eyes to a whole new world of kinky sex. He was so serious about it, explaining that he needed someone to be rough and mean with, but also craving to take care of someone and spoil them with affection. And because he had made you come so hard you cried, you were hooked on him, so you went with it.
You've been together a year now, you live together, and you're thinking of maybe getting a dog soon. You don't report directly to Harry anymore, though. You assist another person in another department. It was the only way you two could date without it being a big deal for the firm.
Tonight is a big night. They're announcing the new junior partners, and since Harry is a senior partner, he gets to pin the two people he's been mentoring. He's actually pretty excited about it, or he was until he saw you step out of the bathroom and back into your shared walk-in closet. He's standing there, half dressed, frozen with fury as he watches you pick out which rings and bracelets you're planning to wear. You double take after seeing the look on his face.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" You asked innocently.
"I told you not to wear that dress." He responded lowly.
"You asked me not to wear it, and I never agreed or disagreed. You can't tell me what I can and can't put on my body, Harry."
"You're making me sound controlling, that's not what this is about. You know you look stunning and sexy in that goddamn red dress, and you know it drives me insane because I know for a fact that you're not wearing anything underneath it. That's why I asked you not to wear it. I saw you eyeing it the other day, I should have known."
"I can't wear underwear with this, the fabric is too clingy and I hate having panty lines. It's just a dress. Show some self control."
And that's when the look changed. You swallowed hard and tried not to falter under his gaze. He slowly stalks toward you, still half naked, his abs and other chiseled features fully on display.
"I have plenty of self control." He said as he hooked his arm around your waist, pulling you into him. "And you know better than anyone else that I love showing you off and letting everyone around us know that you're mine and mine alone and that they'll never know you or have you the way that I do." He brings his fingers up to squish the sides of your cheeks. "You have plenty of other dresses. I'd like you to go put a different one, and save this one for my eyes only."
"No." You say through your puckered lips.
"No?"
"No."
"That's final answer?"
"It took me forty-five minutes to get ready, I'm not starting over. The hair and the makeup go with the dress. I'm not changing."
He looked you up and down, smirked, then let you go. You watched him carefully as he pulled his shirt and suit jacket on. You weren't sure what he was going to do, but you're standing your ground on this.
"Babe?" He calls to you from the bedroom, so you leave the closet with your ruby clutch in hand and meet him by his dresser.
"Do you need help with your tie, sweetheart?" You ask ignorantly.
"No, I'm not wearing a tie tonight. I'm doing the open button thing, but thank you for offering. Pull up the skirt of your dress for me."
You furrow your brows but does as he says. He gets down on one knee and starts kissing up your leg. He pulls something out of his jacket pocket and your stomach drops. He hears you gasp, and he looks up at you wickedly.
"I'm going to put this inside you."
"Harry, please, this is a work event, I can't have my come dripping down my legs."
"It won't be come because you won't be coming. I'm going to do as I please with this tonight." He turns the little egg-shaped vibrator on and holds his phone up next to it to pair to the Bluetooth. "Perfect. Alright, spread 'em." He looks up at you, his features turning softer. "Do you need your safe word? It's okay if you'd rather wait until we get home to be punished. I don't want you to be uncomfortable."
"No." You smile softly down at him, gently caressing his cheek. "I'm okay, daddy, go ahead."
He kisses the inside of your knee as he works the toy inside of you. He stands back up and taps one of the settings in the app to give you a test vibration to make sure it's working properly.
You're in for a long night.
What puzzled you most was that Harry hadn't done anything to you yet. He didn't turn the toy on in the car. And you've been at the party for an hour already, and he still hasn't done anything. The anticipation has been killing you. Maybe that was his plan all along. You see your boss and roll your eyes as he stuffs his face with shrimp from the raw bar. You hate him. Part of you wanted to wear your red dress tonight because you wanted to show that sweaty hog that he could look all he wanted, but he'd never be able to touch you.
It's when you're taking a sip of your martini while talking to some of the other paras that you feel the toy kick on. It's starts off with little pulsations, then moves along to steady vibrations. You pinch your thighs together as discretely as you can. You're starting to sweat, and you're starting to let little noises out. You're covering them with coughs and whatnot, but after ten minutes of this, you're starting to get uncomfortably wet. It's all so torturous because as good as it feels, you're not getting any external stimulation, which you need in order to come, so this is all just edging. And you love being edged, so even though it's torture, it's also the absolute best.
Harry knows this. He can see it on your face. You two lock eyes, and you pout at him, pleading. He can't resist you for long, not while you're wearing that dress. Before he can get to you, your boss approaches you, which makes Harry stop short. You had mentioned how he had been such a douchebag lately. He wants to watch the exchange.
"You look incredible." Your boss grinned.
"I know." You snap.
"What are you doing wearing a tight thing like that for? It leaves little to the imagination."
In your head, you don't see how that's true. It's a mermaid style halter with an open back, and the front is separated so you can just see the outline of of the inner parts of your breasts. But because it's a gown, there's an air of class to it. Your hair is up, plenty of pieces out in the front to frame your face. You look stunning. There are plenty of women at this party dressed similarly.
"Don't look at me too much, then." You respond after taking a careful sip of champagne. You're sweating while having that stupid toy inside you. You have to grit your teeth and pinch your nails into your palms to stay composed.
"I'm afraid that's impossible. I think you wore this to get my attention, not that you need help in that department."
"You're being inappropriate. I wore this for myself. I like the way I look in it. It's also one of Harry's favorites, so-"
"I can't believe you're still with that guy. He's like a lump on a log. He's only charismatic with his clients, you know?"
"We live together, so I'd like to think I know him pretty well."
"You deserve to be with someone that can make it so you never have to work another day in your life."
"I like working."
"No one likes working."
"I just said I like working."
"You like making jewelry. Wouldn't you rather do that full time?"
"I-" Your breath hitches when you feel the pulsations start to work in tandem with the vibrations. You're going to kill him.
"Are you feeling alright?" Your boss takes one of your hands, but before he can do anything else, Harry comes up and puts his arm around your waist.
"Bill, she really doesn't like it when you touch her. Look at her, she looks like she's going to be sick, so instead of continuing to make her more uncomfortable, why don't you just walk away. You get away with too many things here, but not for much longer."
"Is that a threat?"
"If you want to take it as one, be my guest." His grip on your hip tightens and you can't help but whimper. "Excuse us." Harry's hand moves to the small of your back to lead you out to the coat check room. He gets you in and locks the door behind you. "Are you alright?" He cups her jaw and looks you over."
"Yeah, th-thank you for getting me - shit - away from h-him." You grit your teeth and pinch your eyes closed, bracing your hands flat against Harry's chest. "Please, I can't...I can't take much more of this, it's been almost two hours."
"I know, and you've done so well for me. I'll turn it off and take it out if you tell me why you wore this even after I asked you not to. I know you can put whatever you want on your body. I just like it when you save certain things for me, for us."
"I hate my boss." You say, still bracing yourself against him. "He makes passes at me all the time. I just wanted to torture him a little, to let him know he'll never know what's underneath all this fabric."
"Sweet girl." He tilts your chin up so you'll look at him. "If Joe was being that big of a prick, why didn't you say something to me?"
"I don't want to run to you to fight all my battles for me. I need to be able to lean on myself."
"If he's sexually harassing you, then you should come to me so I can go with you to HR. You know they don't listen unless someone of higher rank complains. It's fucked up, but that's just how it is. I want the culture to change, but it's slow going."
"I know." You cry, almost feeling ready to drool from how worked up you are. "You're not one of the cogs in the machine, and that's one of the many things I love about you, Harry. I'm sorry I upset you by wearing this because I know you're only upset because you just want to rip it off with your teeth"
"That's right." He backs you up against the closest wall, not caring about any of the coats hanging up being knocked to the floor. He kisses you hard and hot, bending at the knee a bit to get a hand under your dress. He moans into your mouth as he slides his fingers through your folds. "You're soaked, beyond soaked."
"Please, daddy, please." You say breathlessly as he plays with you.
"You sound so good when you're begging. Keep going." He nips at your earlobe before licking and sucking at your neck.
"Please, take it out, daddy. Then you can fuck me in here and I'll do whatever you say."
"You'll need to be quiet. I'll have to stuff the toy into your mouth." He brushes your bottom lip with his thumb and you nod. "Need your safe word?"
"No, god no."
He smirks and pulls the toy out of you, pressing down on the button to turn it off. He whimpers when he feels so much of your slick drip out. He puts the toy inside his own mouth first, moaning at the taste of you, then he puts it into your mouth. He hikes your dress up and immediately gets his middle and ring fingers inside of you. You whine around the toy and clutch at the lapels of his jacket as he pumps his fingers in and out of you, beating into your g-spot. The heel of his palm works to ground down against your clit, making your head roll back. He sponges kisses to your throat as you tug at the hair on the back of his head. Your eyes burst open when you feel yourself start to get close. You're going to explode, and you're all of a sudden worried about ruining the jackets in this closet.
"Don't you dare hold back on me. Fuck the jackets, baby, make a mess." He growls, pounding into your harder.
You're moaning uncontrollably around the toy. You start gushing with his fingers still inside of you, and he doesn't let up. You're coming hard and it feels like it's going to be never ending. This is why you like being edged. You'll take a solid sixty-second orgasm over a ton of little quick ones. Harry slows down his pace, weaning you off of him, before taking his fingers all the way out. He sucks them into his mouth as he fixes your dress. He takes the toy out of your mouth and stuffs it into his jacket pocket while you take his fingers to lick and suck on.
"My good girl." He coos, caressing her cheek. "My good, fucking girl." He catches a glimpse of his watch and sucks his teeth. "Shit, we need to go back to the main room. The pinning is going to start soon."
"Okay, just, let me catch my breath." She says. "Daddy, is my makeup all fucked?"
"Only a little." He wipes under your eyes for you. "Still gorgeous as ever."
"Thank you." You wrap your arms around his neck and hug him tight. He holds you close, giving you gentle kisses and whispering sweet words into your ear. "Thank you." You whisper. "Can we go home after the pinning?" You ask as he opens the door and you walk out of the coat check room.
"Eager for daddy's cock?" He grins.
"Always."
#harry styles#harry styles au#harry styles imagine#harry styles fic#harry styles smut#harry styles fluff#harry styles x reader#mine#harry styles y/n#harry styles x y/n#harry styles angst#blurb#harry styles blurb
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Dysfunctional as always
Summary: Your family was not the greatest by all means, but it doesn't mean there wasn't any form of warmth.
Warning: Angst, comfort, and words of encouragement.
Male characters x Male reader
A/N: Written by phone and not proofread.
"I don't remember you," the man who has embraced his son frowns while he pulls away. The two men stood in a parking lot of a recently closed fast food restaurant with the intention of reconciliation. Nothing came of this due to the much older man false promises and impulsive disappearances.
The Cullens filled the void of the lack of family, your father leaving you with an ill grandmother to care for. Running and cutting you loose for anything that did not include you. Now, here you are dealing with the loss of the only mortal figure who truly cared for you.
Crimson eyes watch the man grow confused with an uneven smile. "I'm your father. Of course you remember me," the man who claims to be your maker stood here before you for one thing inheritance. The leech himself knew his mother in law must have left something behind for her one and only surviving grandchild.
A level-headed vampire out stretched arm prevents his platinum haired coven mate from departing the slimy leech head from his shoulders. "Leave him. We can not reveal ourselves. " A low growl comes from an equally angry vampire.
"You weren't there," your voice low barely a whisper. Your so-called father's staggers back at the somewhat light impact of a shove, a shove you delivered with uncertainty. Uncertain if you could bring yourself to truly turn away from him, the man you known half of your life before he became unbearable.
"What? Of course I was there, " a habit you had developed due to his absence. A habit where you insert the man face, voice, body, and once adrimible smile.
Replacing certain people who were present, Carlisle and Esme were the people who would suffer the swap. Your grandmother was Carlisle patient, always coming and going.
Made sure to answer her calls and never complain. Carlisle took notice of the newfound shoes at the front door. "It seems you have a shadow," the ill womam points out as a little face peeks out from the safety of the stairwell.
Carlisle knew you knew there, your little heart giving you away and your breathing. You were twelve years old, always watching and always imagining your father stood in his place. Your father false figure stood instead of the kind gentle blonde who made sure to leave his wife's homemade meals in the kitchen for you and the sick woman.
"Does he have any distant relatives who could take care of him?". A trip to the hospital turns into a nightmare, a nightmare the woman tried to avoid. "No, they are either far too busy to juggle anymore kids, or they are located across the country." Carlisle nods, striken with sadness at the thought of the boy who stood outside of the room.
Far too scared of the pale doctor and how the said doctor might say or do something to ruin the child's illusion. A lie, a lie where his father is a doctor who studied medicine to aid his mother in law and possibly save her from her fate. "He has been passed from relatives to relative, but he always comes back to me."
Alice has already foresee this at the request of Carlisle. He has already made up his mind. It'll be hard to convince certain individuals, but he is not turning this child down because of his nature.
"No, I don't see why he can't live with his father or mother." Rosalie is about to regret mentioning the boys' parents."What do you mean?," Rosalie undead, heart breaks alongside the many others present. "I agreed to take care of him while his grandmother spends a few weeks in the hospital. Waiting for an answer. " "I didn't know, " Emmet leans into his once unmovable mate.
"It took me by surprise too, the boys mother scummb to birth complications." Esme set a hand upon Carlisles clothed chest "and the infant. " Carlisle shook his head. "She never made it to see her fifth birthday," Alice squeezes Jasper hand.
"All he has is his grandmother and the hope of a foster family or distant relative. I doubt they'll take him in. So I ask each of you to consider a new member. " It didn't take long for the Cullens to adjust to the small boy and his oddities.
"You weren't there when she was born," the overwhelming memories of the Cullens took over your sense. Slowly, stickers peel off, revealing the true people present in your major and minor memories. From the ice rink of your first game of the season to the last.
To the time you fell sick, to your first ever big win to the moment your grandmother passed a few weeks back. To the time you acknowledged Bella as a sister and how you brought Edward back to reality. How you drill both Bella and Edward when they become unbearable and how they don't think before they do.
The man lets out a grunt as a fist breaks his once correct nose. The man falls back as you begin pulling and shaking the man. A struggle of somesort breaks out in the parking lot concert grounds.
"You weren't when she died!" You let out a long, drawn-out groan as you laid a hard blow to the man's face. "Alright, stop it!" But you didn't want to stop. You wanted him to feel the pain you had endured from the funeral arrangements of your fallen grandmother to the funeral of your little sister.
"Where were you!?" You hadn't taken notice of the blood that painted your knuckles. You never took into account how you could have handled this situation. How the sudden phone call made you claw at the skin of your forearm until Bella enclosed you in a hug.
A cold, gloved hand held your wrist in a gentle grip. "That's enough, I believe he understands," Stefan blood eyes meets yours, unaware you began to shed tears. "You have done enough little one." Stefan effortlessly pulls you to your feet.
You didn't protest or deny his embrace. "I'm sorry." Stefan made a tsk sound. "Don't apologize. You have every right to act out, " Vladimir watches as he keeps the third party from escaping. Trapping him underneath the albino boot, "Stefan is right. He should be the one apologizing, not you. "
"Blood, my hands," you pull away from the ancient ruler. "We have self-control, don't we? Vladimir, " the blonde nods with a little smile. "Let him go. Where will he go? Who will he turn to?" Your words shook the two vampires, but they obliged.
"You are lucky you have an understanding, son," Once Vlaimir lifts his foot from the man, he scrambles away. "He may come back?" You said while watching your once present father run away. "A risk a fool like him will take." You shook your head at Vladimir, who can see beyond your vision of the dark.
The texture of a handkerchief took you by surprise, "Don't want the Cullens to believe we are bad a influence." Stefan wasn't the only one who began cleaning your hands.
Vladimir was soft and slow, just like his coven mate, who took your left hand while he coddled your right hand. Once white handkerchiefs grew, Crimson red. You didn't make it easy either you were fidgety and anxious.
The adrenaline washed away from your once flaming body. Warmth seeping away at the thought, your father may report you to the police. A cold kiss to your palm brought you back. "You must remain still," Vladimir spoke against the palm of your skin.
You cast your gaze down "sorry" another pair of cold lips meets your wrist. Stefan freezing lips peppers small, slow, comforting, pecks upon the veins of your wrist. The sound of blood flow and the touch of your warmth engraved a smile on Stefan face "you done well, can't imagine what you will be capable of once you turn."
Vladimir agrees with another lingering kiss to your palm, "Your speed and strength are hard not to imagine." The two vampires will never let you down, nor will they ever leave you despite the Cullens' threats.
#male x male reader#male reader#fanfic#male character#stefan twilight#twilight#twilight x male reader#twilight x reader#vladimir twilight#romanian coven#amun twilight#vladimir twilight x reader#twilight x y/n
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Oooooo yes. Oki it's a bucky/reader
Reader was an asset at the same time as bucky and her orders were to keep him safe at all costs, so even if it ends with her taking a bullet. So they've had an intense relationship and hydra being hydra uses it against both of them.
Fast forward to the snap, she doesn't get dusted and manages to escape hydra. She meets nat who helps with her trigger words. They don't fix her since shuri is gone but ends up tweaking it so she's really only listening to her handler- nat or bucky as that's a default lol.
Come to the blip and her and bucky reunite and he has some lingering winter solider tendencies when it comes to her and being protective af. So Sam being sam notices it and gives bucky shit. He snaps and essentially says that she reminds him of hydra and can't stand her.
So typical angst troupe. She avoids him until they get put on a mission and she gets triggered. So bucky ends up taking care of her. Can be smutty lol. Like any part of this can be used. Doesn't have to be the whole thing lol
a/n: Hope you don't mind I simplified it cus I think I'd need more than one part to write all of this properly!!!
Hope you enjoy reading this I put all of the angst into it 😅😅
Sorry this is so long 😅😅😅
MY FIRST REQUEST EVER!!!!
To forgive
pairing: bucky x exhydrasoldier!reader
summary: tension between you and Bucky is unbearable and when a misson goes wrong apologies are in order
warnings: f word couple of times / angst a lot of it
masterlist
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Sam actually doesn't know how he managed to get stuck with not one but two super soldiers who have a staring problem but this is his reality right now.
Recently you and Bucky have been staying with Sam since you two could not live with each other alone anymore.
Bucky became your roommate after everyone came back after the snap.
At that point you were 5 years free of Hydra and mostly recovered, you had been found by Natasha and she had helped you a lot and so has Steve. Steve already had experience watching his friend struggle with what had Hydra done and his heart ached seeing his friend in you. The same lost and broken expression made him sad.
They did everything they could, Natasha and Steve even bought you to Wakanda but without Shuri the progress was slow but it was still progres.
Steve before leaving talked to both you and Bucky and suggested you two could help each other out since there was no one else who could understand more what you two had lived through.
It had been good in theory but in practice it was not.
Buckys' recovery was way past yours, and it frustrated you, you were angry especially because you still had this need to protect Bucky at all times.
Being Hydras punching bag was not fun, you didn't blame Bucky it wasn't easy for him either but he was so precious to them that they needed someone to protect the most important asset. It wasn't like you were the only one, you just survived the longest. There had been many before you, who had been removed or just killed in a mission to protect The Winter Soldier.
To Bucky, you were just a reminder of the torture he had survived. Some nights neither of you slept because the same nightmares haunted you, and yet you didn't talk to each other.
You both remember very little about each other from your time in Hydra, the pain is the only thing you both remember so clearly.
It had become impossible to stay together the night when Bucky had a nightmare and you had tried to help, it was awful. That night when Bucky woke up he had thought he was back at Hydra because he saw you. He yelled and screamed and even attacked you, telling you to let him go, and you didn't even defend yourself immediately going back to your training with Hydra.
"Protect the asset no matter what. your life is not important, the winter soldier must be saved. Do not hurt the asset or you will be punished."
That night had changed everything. The weak friendship that you've had with Bucky vanished and all you ever did was fight.
"The dishes aren't washed princess."
"Can the Winter Soldier throw out the trash sometimes?
"Does princess need to be reminded to not use all the hot water."
Oh but the missions are the worst for everyone.
Sam started to bring a spray with him whenever you and Bucky even try to speak to each other because sometimes it is so unbearable that it could ruin the mission.
Sometimes against your wish you jump in to protect Bucky, the Hydra training instincts rooted deep inside you.
"You don't have to protect me!"
"I don't have a choice here asshole! If it were up to me I wouldn't care less if something happened to you!"
But when Bucky had jumped from an airplane without a parachute your heart had dropped. And it was not because your instincts had kicked in, you had watched the man you've been protecting many decades jump from an airplane that was like 30000ft in the air!
You put a parachute on you and brought one with you and jumped after him.
"Dumbass you forgot something!" you had yelled over the wind catching up to Bucky.
He'd ignored the parachute you tried to give him and left you to just watch him descend.
You have no idea how he survived but you were pissed off and were ready to kill him yourself.
"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE? WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU JUMP WITHOUT A PARACHUTE!"
"WHY DO YOU CARE IT'S MY PROBLEM IF I JUMP OR NOT!"
"NOT IF YOU ASK ME! I LOST MY LIFE TO PROTECTING YOU AND YOU DO THAT! YOU'RE SO SELFISH!"
You had pushed him hard enough so he stumbled a bit but that's only because he didn't expect it. Bucky had also received a slap to the face which Sam might have enjoyed way too much. It had caused an actual fight between two of you and it took Sam 30 minutes to separate you. By the time you had to fight people you had come to fight in the first place you and Bucky already had battle wounds.
Tonight you're in Madripoor and the plan was that Bucky pretends to be The Winter Soldier, it made you nervous.
Sharon had give you a dress and some flat boots in case you needed to run, Bucky and Sam had received some very nice suits.
When you saw Bucky in a suit your heart flipped at the sight of him. You've never seen him in a suit before and you weren't sure how to feel about it. He looked handsome, it's not the first time you had that thought but usually there was annoyance clouding any other thoughts about Bucky.
When Bucky looked at you as you exited the room you were changing in his brain and heart malfunctioned. He'd never seen you in a dress before, you preferred clothes that covered your body completely - the scars on your body made you feel very insecure - Bucky was the same the more his body is cover the less attention he has on himself.
But God, have you taken his breath away. It isn't like he thinks you're ugly, you're gorgeous, and if you had known each other back when he was himself and before you had been brainwashed to protect him he would've loved to have taken you to a dance. Unfortunately your situation was too complicated and it had made it impossible for you two to have any kind of relationship not only romantic.
Bucky and you have a very awkward moment where you made eye contact and then quickly looked away. The tension in the room grew to a 100 real fast.
"So ugh about the plan." Sam coughs to fix the awkward vibe that has enveloped the room.
While Sam is explaining the plan you and Bucky glance at each other when the other isn't looking and Sam pretends not to notice.
The club is crowded and the atmosphere changes when people start to notice The Winter Soldier.
You're on edge the entire time.
Suddenly a fight begins but all you hear are the trigger words which do not affect Bucky but you're entirely a different story.
As Bucky was about to get punched you had jumped in front of him stopping the hit with your hands. You break the the guys hand and turn around to hit another big guy.
"Get out of here I will take care of this."
"No you won't."
And when you don't Bucky pulls you by your hand and you have no choice but to run with him.
When you finally arrive at a safe destination away from everyone who's trying to kill you Bucky turns to you.
"ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WAIT! ARE YOU SO STUPID YOU CAN'T FOLLOW SIMPLE INTRUCTIONS?"
You only stare back at him not even blinking.
"Bucky stop she's not okay can't you see?" Sam puts a hand on Buckys shoulder backing him away from you.
"She fucked up she wasn't supposed to engage."
"Bucky look at her."
That's when Bucky notices that you're not looking at him you're looking at the floor, your hands behind you as if waiting for punishment.
And suddenly it clicks, your trigger words. Some of them were the same as his.
"I'm so sorry. I- I didn't notice I'm so sorry."
You stay in your place not moving an inch.
Bucky tries to touch you and at first you flinch, he doesn't know what to do - he hugs you, surpsing himself.
He stands there his arms tightly around you.
When you finally come back you start sobbing and Buckys heart breaks. He was supposed to know better.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I should've known I should've said it was a bad idea I'm sorry."
You're shaking in his arms and his heart breaks a little more with every whine.
It takes you 45 minutes to stop crying and that's only because you've exhausted yourself with crying.
Bucky carries you to a dodgy motel that him and Sam found. Your limp body in his arms makes him feel incredibly guilty. He feels awful, he'd been awful to you for months and you're right he's been selfish. Bucky can only hope you can forgive him.
You wake up with a headache the light coming through the window indicates that it's for sure not early morning. The sun is gentle and you can tell that sun is about to be gone. To the right of you there's a night stand and to the left is Bucky sleeping on a chair, sitting up.
You notice that you're in Buckys shirt and your pyjama pants.
"Hey."
You turn at Buckys voice.
"Hi."
"I'm sorry about last night I was out of line. I've been out of line for a while. And I'm really sorry I've put you in danger-"
"Bucky..."
"No I need to say this, please."
you nodd.
"There's so much I regret but I regret putting you in danger and giving you shit the most. I've done nothing to make your life easier I've only made it worse. And you were right I was selfish. I was in my head too much and you're the only person who completely understands what I've been through. Last night shouldn't have happened but I was stupid. I hope you can forgive me and I'll do everything in power for the rest of my life to make it up to you."
"Bucky... I-... What happened to us is not fair and we both did stuff we regret, I also wasn't fair to you. I'm not okay. I haven't been a while and last night wasn't your fault. I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for calling you The Winter Soldier and for hurting you purposely. And you have nothing to make up for nothing that happend is your fault."
Bucky and you stand in silence for a while each trying to process words and the situation you're in right now.
"Fucking Hydra."
Bucky breaks the ice with that statement and you both laugh.
"Bucky, could I ask you for a favour?"
"Anything."
"I haven't been well for a while and last night only showed how much I need help. I'd like to go to Wakanda so they get me in cryo to fix my brain. Please be there for me when they put me under and when they wake me up."
"I promise."
True to his word Bucky is there when they're preparing you for cryo.
"It's going to be okay. These people are the best they know what they're doing. Besides they had their experiment animal way before you!"
"Oh shut up..... Thank you Bucky. I'll see you when I wake up?"
He smiles and gives you a tender hug full of emotions but mostly love.
"I promise."
The last thing you see are Buckys blue eyes looking at you softly he doesn't let himself cry.
The next time you see Bucky is when your new life begins.
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[THE END]
This is gigantic udhdhdudud I'm not sure If I should've written so much but it was fun?
Likes reblogs and Comments are appreciated <3
#bucky x reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky imagine#bucky masterlist#bucky angst#sebastian stan characters#marvel fic#the winter solider x reader#first request
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