#i took the fact this world was flooded and ran with it

[umbralstars]

Flexing my cartography muscles and making a multi-use map. Anyways here’s a blank of Fódlan and her immediate surroundings Bonus: Here’s what Fódlan looks like approximately sized to the 2/3rds of Europe measurement the devs gave us on a Equal Earth map (I tried my best)

[heavysighing-dreamyeyes]

Being In Love (and how to get you to love him back)

You're a vigilante in this one, but it's only semi-relevant to the plot (I think it classifies as a fluff piece) ~1.1k words 

Jason has never liked things easy. Well, that's a lie, he's never had things easy. What is true is that Jason Todd likes a challenge. And that's something you certainly are. 

He's never meant someone so stubbornly insistent on staying at his side, has never had someone so willing to throw themselves into danger right alongside him. He can tell you to hang back– demand, even, that you wait for his all-clear before storming the drug bust or robbery of the week, but you never listen. You always just follow him, stand by him, have his back. 

You're always there for him, never pressing, but always present. So he really shouldn't be surprised that he falls head over heels for you. 

It was slow, gradual, something that crept up on him before he even had a word for the feeling growing inside his chest. And then it crashed over him like a tidal wave. Flooded his senses and became so undeniable that he forgot how to breathe. 

There was no grand moment, no pivotal event. You just smiled at him, and oh, he knew. He knew he was a goner, and nothing would ever be the same. No excuse could get him out of there fast enough, once he realized exactly how much of his heart you held.

With his face flushed, eyes wide and starry, and chest so tight it hurt, he ran. He's not proud of it, but he did. It took him days to figure himself out. To come to terms with the fact that you were it for him. And when he finally crawled his way back to your side, you were there. Waiting. Ever patient, ever smiling, ever willing to let him mess up again and again. 

He thought it would be simple, once he accepted that love was the only way to describe the depths of his feelings for you. But you, despite how easy you seem to make everything else in his life, stubbornly (or obliviously) don't seem to notice how enamored he is with you. 

Jason does every single thing he can think of to earn your attention, to deserve your affections. He gives you his jacket when it's cold. (You try to turn it down every time, but you always give in. You always smile that soft, gentle smile that makes tingles run from his spine to his toes– his entire world fixating on you)

He makes you food, buys you food, takes you out to eat, recommends recipes, shares his favorite meals with you. (The way to one's heart is through their stomach, right? But you return the favor every time, for every meal he buys, you treat him to one. For every dessert he bakes, you bake one of your own. It's almost frustrating, if your food wasn't so good. He just wants you to let him take care of you for once without needing to do anything in return)

He brings you flowers, trinkets, anything he can think of that would make you smile. (And you do smile, every time. But then you tell him he doesn't have to go out of his way like this for you. He wants to, so badly, if you would just let him)

He picks invisible lint of your shoulder, smoothes out the wrinkles in your shirt. (You just smile, the same sweet smile you always do, and he has to wonder if that's your way of letting him down easy, if you're not so oblivious as you seem)

He tangles his fingers in yours when the need for night vision arises on missions. (He knows your mask has it, knows you can traverse the dark without the need of his help, but he claims that the one in his mask is better every time. It's not, but you never call him out on it)

He shares every little detail of his life you ask for, and listens to everything you say, memorizing every word that falls from your lips for the future. (He tells you things he'd never tell anyone else, but you deserve to know– deserve to know him and all the reasons why you should and shouldn't love him back)

He checks in on you. He texts you on the days you don't see him, holds you back after patrol to check if you're doing all right. He pays attention to your moods, the set of your shoulders, and does everything he can to lift your spirits when you're down. (You do the same for him. He can't tell you how much that means. He wants to, he just doesn't have the words)

But despite everything he tries (everything but outright saying that he loves you) you don't offer him more than what a friend would. (A best friend, sure, a confidant like no other, but that's not what Jason wants)

He resigns himself to just this– to friendship and nothing more– for the rest of his life. (And that would be enough, just to linger in your space would be enough forever) Until a mission gone wrong, until an explosion that leaves his ears ringing and his head spinning and his only thought is the aching fear of not knowing if you made it out.

You do– did– you're standing in front of him and even if you're favoring one leg over the other you're alive and he can't hold himself back any more under the wave of relief that nearly sends him to his knees.

Jason rips the mask from his face and kisses you like it's the only chance he'll ever have. (It might be. He fully expects you to punch him in the face once he pulls away)

When he does pull back to catch his breath, his hands lingering over your cheeks like he's scared you'll disappear, he watches something flash over your face. Realization. A quiet 'oh' escapes your throat, and suddenly, you're kissing him with a passion he never dared hope for from you.

Your arms thrown around his neck, his fingers digging into the small of his back, the smell of smoke and ash clinging to your skin. It's nothing like he expected, but so, so perfect and you and everything clicks into place when you suck his bottom lip between your teeth and lean your weight into him, trusting him to hold you steady.

Jason has never had things easy, but this moment– kissing you, loving you– feels like the most natural thing in the world, and he wants that to last forever. Wants you– this– all of it, held in the palms of his hands for eternity. (And you want the same, you always have, because how could you do anything less than love him just as much as he loves you?)

[outsideratheart]

Healing (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: This took me a lot longer to finish than I hoped but it’s done. Grab a drink and get comfy because it’s a long one, in fact I think it’s my longest fic to date.

The world had its questions and you were well aware of the headlines.

Y/N Y/L/N quits football.

Where is Y/N Y/L/N? Here's what we know.

The best in the world has vanished.

If you find Y/N tell her Sarina is looking for her.

The last twelve months had been the hardest in your life. You thought you could prepare for it, that it would easier because you knew it was coming but that wasn't the case. The day it happened was the day your heart broke and as you buried her you knew you were burying part of yourself too.

You left the world speculating as to why you didn't extend your contract with Lyon, why you never signed for another club and more importantly people were wondering where you had disappeared to.

Both your club and country team mates knew about your personal life and the tragedy that happened shortly after the euros. 

You missed football, of course you did, but you also needed to take time away to process what had happened. A return date was never set but then the world cup happened. You watched your team mates cry after losing to Spain and you couldn't help but feel partially responsible. The game might have ended differently if you had played.

A decision had been made. It was time to return to the pitch. You had offers before and after the euros. The only question is what teams would still want you? 

The sun was setting in Barcelona as the team finished up a late training session. Most of the players stayed behind to take advantage of the free food given they knew once they got home they wouldn't have the energy to cook themselves.

“Lucy your phone is ringing” Ona shouts over to where the English defender is filling her plate. 

“Who is it?” Lucy replies. 

Ona’s face floods with guilt. Almost as if she shouldn’t be looking at the phone. This sparks interest of those around her but no one more than Keira who sees the name on the screen. 

“Y/N” Lucy all but ran back to table after hearing Keira say your name “is everything ok? Where are you? Yes I’m with Lucy. Before I hand you over promise me that you’re ok? Good” 

Keira hands over the phone and watches Lucy’s face as she tries to figure out why you called and what you are talking about. 

“Yes there are people around me. Ok, I’ll ask” 

When you hang up the phone Lucy does as you ask or at least she makes the first step. 

“Alexia” Lucy walks around to where the captain is sat with Mapi and Ingrid “Who would I talk about signing a new player?”

“It’s not our job to recruit players but if you know something that might help the club then tell me and I will ask” Alexia wasn’t stupid. She heard your name and now Lucy was asking this. It wasn’t a coincidence. 

“I can’t. This is a sensitive subject” 

“Vale. Talk to Jona and if he thinks the player is right for the club then he can set up a meeting” 

Alexia left the training facility that night thinking of you. You were at the peak of your career, many people considered you the best in the world and if she is being honest she thought you would win the Balon d’Or, not her. That night Alexia watched your highlights for hours, even the ones in the games against her. You really were a once in a generation player which makes it that much harder for Alexia to understand why you walked off the pitch at Wembley and hadn’t been seen on one since. 

The next day at training the energy felt different. Lucy and Keira had a sense of happiness that their team mates hadn’t seen before. They would gather around Lucy’s phone but then hide it when somebody came close to them. 

Jona came walking into the gym with Xavi Puig right behind him and called over both Keira and Lucy. A couple of players watch the conversation unfold and tried their hardest to read their lips.

“Ingrid, what are they saying?” Mapi nudges her girlfriend.

“They’re talking about Y/N Y/L/N” Alexia was stretching on the floor playing no part in the eavesdropping.

“How do you know?” Ingrid asks her.

“She called Lucy yesterday and then Lucy talked to me about the club signing a new player. I can’t know for sure but that’s what I think is going on”

A couple of days later you landed in Barcelona, greeted by the warm weather and your two England team mates who kept a low key appearance in the arrivals hall. You stop when you are a meter away them. You didn’t know what to do, you hadn’t seen them in almost a year. 

“Come here” Lucy throws her arms around you followed by Keira.

“We’re so happy to see you Y/N. We really have missed you” 

You remain quiet as you walk to the car. Both of them fill you in on what the team is like and you make sure to remind them that you haven’t officially signed yet.

“Jona mentioned that. You want a trial training session?”

“It’s the right thing to do” you didn’t want any special treatment. You wanted to earn the right to play for the club and not just be handed the contract.

“You could have not played football for 5 years and still run rings round all of us” Lucy knows you the most having played with her at both club and country. You were too humble in her eyes so she took it upon herself to remind you of your greatness from time to time.

“I never said I haven’t played football. That has been the thing to get me through the past 10 months” you didn’t mean to be a downer, in fact you didn’t know what you were saying until it was too late.

“How are you doing?” Keira asks from the front seat and you see Lucy eyeing you up in rear view mirror.

“Some days are harder than others and no day has been easy. She would be happy that I’m here though. She always said that if I didn’t go back to England then she’d want us to come here”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say her name. 

“She always did hate the french winters” Lucy laughs at the memories she shared with your wife.

Your mind goes back to just a couple of years ago. Lyon were playing at home and the weather was awful. You saw Natalia in the crowd shivering but still she cheered you on, she always was your biggest fan. Come rain or shine, your girl was in the audience. You hated the thought of playing without her being in the crowd but you also knew she wouldn’t want to give up your career.

“Y/N” Keira gently nudged your knee. It was obvious that you were taking a trip down memory lane and she didn’t want to scare you.

“Huh” you quickly wiped away a tear “Oh we’re here” you grabbed your backpack and jumped out of the car leaving them in the front not knowing what to do.

“Let’s leave her be. She knows we are here and will come to us when she’s ready”

You were in awe as you walked the halls of Joan Camper. The things the team has achieved were that of greatness. It was a club that created legacys and you found yourself feeling something that you hadn’t in a long time; excitement.

Lucy and Keira lead you to the locker room just as they were instructed to. The rest of the team were already out of the field which was part of the plan. There hanging in a corner locker was a training kit for you. You didn’t expect it and you definitely didn’t expect to have been given your number.

“You did this?” You ask the pair.

“Salma did. The team knows you called Lucy and when Salma heard to locker room rumours of you joining she insisted. Between us she is a big fan of yours, bigger than Luce”

“Not possible” the defender joked.

The boots were fastened and you were ready, well almost ready. There was one thing you wasn’t prepared for. You looked down at your necklace. It was a simple gold chain that held two rings: yours and Talia’s.

“I can’t do it” you slumped down in defeat and bury your face in your hands.

“Hey” Lucy crouches down in front of you “they let us wear jewellery for training, you can keep them on”

You walked out onto the field and all eyes fell on you. You felt like a spectacle and you hated the attention. They didn’t know the current version of you, they had only met the old Y/N so you channel her and introduce yourself to them during the next drinks break.

“I know some of us have met as opponents but this is different. I’m Y/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you all, I hope I can keep up” you make a joke hoping to avoid the elephant in the room.

“We’ll see about that. I’m Alexia” She is the first person to you.

“Lovely to meet you Alexia” 

It’s hard to explain the feeling when you’re playing football. It’s as if you mind switches off whilst also been completely focused. It take a few attempts to get into the rhythm that is Barcelona football but you catch on quickly. It comes as no shock to the rest of the team that you play in complete sync with Lucy and Keira. The two of them even stay back at the end to work with you on some movements that you weren’t pleased with.

Some players go shower but a few stay behind, albeit out of sight, and watch you. 

“She has a gift” Alexia says to nobody in particular.

“Nobody has seen her in over a year and this is how she is playing. Look, she is running rings around them. How is that possible?” Patri adds.

“Does anybody know where she was?” Pina asks the small group.

“No but I could ask Ingrid or Caro to ask Ada. They are best friends and surely you would tell your best friend where you are going” Mapi forms a plan in her head, one that she will soon find out to be a bad idea.

“Do it” Alexia tells the defender “We are a family here and if she joins us then we have a right to know where she has been”

When Barcelona posted a photo of you signing a contract on their socials the world went crazy. The media were relentless and the fans were quick to show their support for you even though some were skeptical about your sudden reappearance and new team. 

You ignored them for the most part as they had no idea what had happened. You fit into the team almost right away and was enjoying every game with Barcelona. You scored on your debut and had been involved in a goal every game since. Months had passed and much to your surprise you had only been asked about the missing year once or twice. 

Caro refused to ask Ada about you and Ingrid only did when her girlfriend became obsessed with finding out the truth. Ada’s answer was simple ‘I won’t tell you and if she doesn’t want you to know then you should respect her wishes’.

You remained a mystery though and for the most part the team seemed to forget about your missing year. 

When the second international window came that is when things changed and you felt like you made a friend. Mapi still wasn’t representing her country so she reached out and asked if you wanted to meet up for a coffee. 

Anybody could easily be intimidated by the blonde but you liked her. She had this energy that made you know accepting her invite was a no brainer. That and you had questions of your own. 

“How did you know?”

Mapi places down a a small coffee in a glass; a cortado. 

“I asked Keira what you ordered”

A comfortable silence took over as the two of you sipped on your coffees. You found it funny the way Mapi looked at you then her coffee and back to you again. You recognised the signs; you were making her nervous. Why though you had no idea.

You decide to make the first move and you get straight to the point much to the defender’s surprise.

“I spoke with Ada”

This got her attention. You had your suspicions but the look on her face confirmed it. Still, she played along.

“That’s nice. You’re very close, no?” Mapi tried her best to look innocent but you weren’t having any of it and the look on your face told her that.

“She had an interesting conversation with Ingrid. Do you happen to know anything about this?”

She did. You know she did. 

“No” you got a sheepish look from Mapi and you wondered if she knew how unconvincing she was being.

“I think you did. I think you got Ingrid to ask Ada about me”

“Lo siento”

“Here’s the thing I don’t understand. I know you all want to know, you’ve been whispering about me for months yet not one of you has come to me and asked me directly. You have been going behind my back trying to dig up information about a time that I clearly don’t want to talk about”

Mapi dips her head. She truly thought that her and the team were been careful but obviously not. 

“Maria, I want you to put yourself in my shoes. Would you want to talk about it with strangers when you barely talk to your best friends about it?”

The defender thinks about it for a moment. You had barely left Lucy and Keira’s side but she hadn’t really heard you talking, you were always listening to what they were saying and replying when necessary.

“It was bad wasn’t it?” She asks. 

“The worse year of my life” you confess and you can your throat close at the thought of the months in question.

“We are in jail?” 

You cannot help but chuckle at her words.

“No, I was not in jail”

“Did you kill somebody?”

“No, I did not kill anybody”

“So no crimes were committed?”

“Is that what you have all come up with? That I broke the law?” 

“Most of us, yes. Aitana think’s you were in the hospital because you were sick”

Her response came at the worst time possible. You spit your coffee out when you hear the midfielder’s suspicion. 

Technically she was right. You were in the hospital but you weren’t in the hospital.

“I wasn’t sick” 

“Clearly. Look at you, you’re huge. I mean you are big. No, you are strong”

“Calm down Mapi, I know what you mean. Thank you” 

The two of you stay in the cafe for another hour. You take this time just the two of you getting to know one another. You ask Mapi about her tattoos and she learn’s you have a few of your own which are hidden on your back. When she asks for their meaning you promise you will tell her the stories another time. 

You both walk to the metro station and by coincidence you end up of the same train. You get off before her and just before the door opens, Mapi grabs your hand.

“I’ll get them to stop. You don’t owe us an explanation, Y/N” 

“Thank you Maria” 

You’re not sure what the tattooed defender said but the whispers stopped or so you thought. They stopped whispering in front of you but little did you know the speculations were still going on behind your back. It is early in December when things come to a head and you snapped. 

“What do you mean she is staying Spain?” Alexia asked Salma. 

“That she is staying her in Barcelona. She said she might go to Valencia for a few days but that’s it” the forward wasn’t sure what to say or if she should have said anything at all.

“And you don’t think that is strange? This is woman who used to love England. The fans called her Queen of England, por dios. How can she be apart of this team if we know nothing about her. She is lying to us” Alexia ranted on and who knew how much longer she would have continued if not for Lucy interrupting her.

“Alexia, that is enough!” Lucy slams her fist on the locker before turning to her captain “She has come to this team and done nothing but good. She plays well for us and gives it her all on the pitch. Off it she makes the effort and yes sometimes she says no to things but isn’t that her right? You stand there as our captain but look at you, you’re nothing but a bully. I am ashamed to say i’m your team mate right now. That girl has been through hell these past couple of years and since coming here all you keep doing is reminding her of what has happened. You are obsessed with her. Look around, no one else is digging for information. No one is making her uncomfortable on a daily basis”

“She is lying to us. She won’t tell us where she was for over a year. She is hiding something and that isn’t fair on us” Alexia tried to defend her actions.

“Isn’t fair? Are you really that self centred? You have no right to talk about what is and is not fair. I don’t care if you are my captain, I won’t stand by you while you treat my best friend like she has done something wrong. You, Alexia, are a —“

“Lucy” The whole locker room turns upon hearing your voice “I have given up on Alexia, it’s time you do too”

“No! I won’t let her talk about you that way. You don’t deserve this”

“No I don’t but —“

“Y/N” Lucy begs you to let her fight you case.

“Walk away Lucy” 

A stare down takes place between you and Lucy. A few seconds later the defender grabs her stuff and leaves the room. To everyone else you are calm and collected but Keira recognises the look in your eye, you are furious.

“I want everyone to listen to me and listen good. My past is none of your business. To those who have let the obsession go, thank you. To those that haven’t” you look Alexia dead in the eye “I want nothing to do with you. I will remain civil on the pitch. Other than that I ask you to stay away from me. That’s if you can respect my wishes. I know it has been hard so far”

You quietly gather your things and try to ignore the multiple sets of eyes on you. With each second you can feel your chest getting tighter and you know it is only a matter second before you will no longer be able to control your breathing. You just needed to get out of there, away from prying eyes.

The hallway is the furthest you get. Your mind was filled of flashbacks, the moments that you tried so hard to bury. The past was not a pretty place, not the last year, but you know that it was only a matter of time before it came crashing down on you. 

“Y/N, are you ok?” Mapi and Ingrid are by your side, clearly the couple had left just after you.

“Natalia, she, she” 

Ingrid and Mapi shared a look, who was Natalia? They had never heard you mention a Natalia before. Both of them didn’t know what to do. Whilst you had become friends with the pair, they didn’t know you well enough to cope with this moment. 

Luckily for them Keira appears out of nowhere. The English woman clearly equipped with what to do.

“Get Lucy, now!” She whisper shouted and Ingrid goes running hoping to catch the defender before she leaves.

“Keira—Natalia”

“I know, I know. We can talk about her later if you want. Right now, I need to focus on me. Can you do that?” 

You nod your head as tears flow down your cheeks. 

“What happened?” Lucy rushes over to you.

“We found her on the floor. She kept talking about Natalia” 

“She told you?” Lucy asks shocked. She knew you wasn’t ready to tell them team but in a state of panic you might be let it slip.

“No. She only said her name” Mapi says. She couldn’t take her eyes off you. This wasn’t a panic attack, no she had seen one of those before. This was something much more intense.

A few minutes pass and Keira manages to keep your breathing under control but you’re still not ready to move. Lucy, Mapi and Ingrid stay close making sure to tell anyone who passes to keep moving.

“What is going on?” Alexia asks with concern, a concern that doesn’t reach Lucy in fact her asking is the worst thing she could have done.

“Get away from her” Lucy is up on her feet and pushing Alexia backwards. She would has fallen to the floor if not for the wall behind her “This is all your fault. You see this, you see her, this is what you have done to her”

“Lucy” you reach up and take her hand. The defender used her strength to pull you up. 

You, Lucy, Keira, Mapi and Ingrid walk towards the exit of the stadium.

“Y/N” Alexia’s voice is soft and it is only now that she realises she might have taken things too far.

You turn around to face the Catalonian. For the first time since arriving you make no effort to hide the pain you have felt on a daily basis.

“I want nothing to do with you Alexia”

A week had passed and Alexia started to worry about you more so than she wanted to let on. Lucy and Keira were visibly worried about you and kept an eye on you at all times. She was confused at how things got this bad. Yes, she knew that maybe things had been taken too far but you didn’t show rage, your energy radiated nothing. You were numb. The Barcelona captain had no idea how to make things right with you.

You wore a smile on your face in front of the cameras and fans but behind closed doors it’s liked you switched your emotions off. Alexia asked Mapi about you but it seemed that even her closest friend was on your side. The zaragozian and her girlfriend had become close with you since the incident and Alexia didn’t understand why.

One night she found herself knocking on Mapi’s door hoping to find out how things got so bad.

When the captain was let in there is an evident scowl on Ingrid’s face which Alexia did not expect. The Norwegian excuses herself stating that she needed to go to the supermarket.

“Mentiroso” Alexia says to herself.

“Watch it Alexia. She has her reasons” Mapi jumped to her girlfriend’s defence.

Mapi leads Alexia over to the kitchen table and gets a glass of water for the two of them.

“You’re here about Y/N, aren’t you?” her captain nods “I don’t know what to tell you. What happened in the locker room was bad Ale. We didn’t leave the stadium when you thought we did. Y/N used everything in her to make sure Lucy didn’t do something she would regret. I don’t know what happened during those months but whatever we think it is, it’s so much worse. I shouldn’t be telling you this but she kept mentioning Natalia, I don’t know who that is but I think something happened to her”

Alexia thought she felt guilty about the way things went down with the two of you but that failed in comparison to how she was feeling now. To think that you were grieving someone and her questions were it worse for you, well it made her feel ashamed. 

She knew that she hadn’t been the most welcoming. Yes, you and her got a long on the pitch and yes, you were ok at training but she hadn’t made the effort she should have to make you feel at home in Barcelona.

“I don’t know how to fix it Mapi. You know I like her, I think she is amazing—“

“You were her biggest fan” the blonde teased

“But what if I’ve ruined any chance for being friends with her? What if what I’ve done is undoable?” Alexia ignores Mapi comment seen as though she knows she cannot deny it.

Mapi was at a loss for words. She always has had her friend’s back but there was something about you which made her want to protect you and Alexia was someone that you needed protection from.

“You need to give her space Alexia. This week alone I have seen you walk towards her then walk away at least 6 times. Y/N even asked me why you were doing it. You’re making the girl feel uncomfortable” 

Alexia mentally scolded herself for her behaviour which in her defence she did not think anyone noticed. 

“So space?” Alexia asks.

“Space” Mapi confirmed.

Alexia found it hard at first because she wanted nothing more than to make things right with you but she did as suggested, she gave you space. She saw you start to come out of your shell a bit more as December rolled on. The day game before the Christmas break you were playing in Madrid and that is when Alexia heard you discussing your winter plans with Keira.

“Keira, that’s a sweet offer but I’m sure. I’m going to stay in Barcelona, it is my home now”

The Catalonian took a little comfort in knowing you had grown the love her city despite the hostile behaviour.

“Y/N, it’s Christmas. She would want you to be home for that” your friend asked.

“I don’t know if I can handle going back for Christmas. It would hurt too much”

It felt wrong for Alexia to eavesdrop on your conversation so she leaves out of respect.

“She wouldn’t want you to avoid England. The two of you spent years in France and both of you said coming home to England was your favourite thing to do”

“Keira, stop. It was our favourite thing. There is no more our, no us. It’s just me”

Keira could see your hands shaking. This is the first sign of your panic attack so she drops the subject. She does suggest you going away with them for new years and you said you would as long as it isn’t in the UK or France. 

The team had one last recovery session before the winter break and it’s safe to say when it was done everyone was more than happy to go home. You wished everyone a Merry Christmas and without knowing it, Alexia is included.

“Feliz Navidad Alexia, por tu y tu familia” 

“Gracias Y/N” 

To Alexia this was a gift in itself. Maybe you were opening up to idea of forgiving her. After that you quickly grab your stuff and run off to where Ingrid was waiting for you.

After that interaction, Alexia couldn’t stop thinking about you. She also thought she was hallucinating when she saw your name appear on her phone screen. In the rush of leaving the training facility you picked up the wrong bag, only realising when got home a few hours later and your shirt had an 11 on instead of a 7. You texted Alexia asking if you could meet up to get your stuff back. Alexia, at that point was already at her mother’s house so she sent you that address and told her mum that you were coming over.

You tried to ease your nervous as you drove to your captain’s mother’s house. It was going to be awkward, this much you knew but regardless of the place you and Alexia were in, you wanted to make a good impression on her family. 

The knock was gentle as you stop on the door step.

“Y/N, hola. Adelante”

You didn’t know that word meant but you put two and two together and guessing in meant come in so that is what you did. Eli leads you to the living room after telling Alba to go get her sister. Eli headed back into the kitchen and left you in the living room. You didn’t want to take a seat, it wasn’t that kind of visit so you looked around and a wall of photos gains your attention.

Alexia couldn’t have been more than 7 years old. She was adorable. Next to her stood her younger sister and behind her, her parents. You didn’t recognise the man so you assume Alexia’s father works away a lot as you have never seen him at a game.

“That’s Jaume, Alexia and Alba’s father” Your cheeks flush in embarrassment at being caught stooping.

“And your husband” you turn to face the woman “I haven’t seen him around, does he work in a different city?”

“Jaume passed away a little over ten years ago” 

She is a widow, like you. That is the first thing you thought. In that moment you had so many questions for her but this is a woman you had only just met. It’s not exactly the small talk she would be expecting. The two of you go quiet and you guess she is thinking about her lost love, just as you are thinking about yours.

Alexia comes downstairs, your bag in hand but stops at the door was upon seeing you in conversation with her mother. Alba nudges her forward but she doesn’t move. The two of them watch you.

“Does it ever get easier?” The question was out of your mouth before you could stop it.

The two sisters share a look. They had no idea what you were talking about and by their mother’s response, she didn’t either.

“Que?” As expected, the question catches Eli off guard.

“Living without the person who promised you forever” you turn to face the older woman with tears falling down your cheek.

“Oh Querida, come here” 

You feel comfort in her arms and for a brief few seconds you forget that she is a stranger. In this moment she is someone who understands your pain and that is more than enough for you. When you pull away you see Alexia and Alba, you feel extremely exposed.

“Hi. You must be Alba” you wipe the last of your tears and extend your hand towards the younger Putellas.

She swats away your hand and pulls you into a hug.

“So formal” Alba laughs “you’re even hotter in person” 

“Alba!” Both Eli and Alexia scold her.

“What? I’m being honest” 

“Thank you, I think. Is that mine?” You point the bad Alexia is holding.

“Yes. Sorry for the mix up” 

“No, no. It was my fault. I was running late for dinner with Ingrid. I left yours in the hall as I wasn’t sure where to put it”

Alexia stared at you almost as if frozen in place.

“Was I not suppose to do that? I can go get it for you”

“This is the most you’ve spoken to me since joining” Alexia was honest with what she was thinking.

“It must be the Christmas air” you laugh a little “speaking of, you three clearly have plans so I will leave you be” 

Eli tries to get you to stay but you can’t. The woman knew too much and even though shared the same pain, you knew it was only a matter of time before the pity eyes came. You also didn’t know how much the two sisters had heard.

Alexia asked and asked what the you and her mother were talking about but the woman refused to tell. The only answer Alexia got was to be careful with you and that not all is as it seems. It seemed to be enough for Alexia but she wasn’t giving up on you, not just yet.

She kept an eye on you over the Christmas break and just as you said you stayed in Barcelona. Alexia all but stalked your Instagram and even went as far as texting you some recommendations. You felt something towards the midfielder and it made you think that you might have been a little harsh on her. You made a mental reminder to speak to her once the break was over.

The first game back was away to Bilbao and it brought you the perfect opportunity to speak to Alexia as the two of you were roomed together. It was late by the time you got there so everyone went straight to their room. 

“Oh Y/N I don’t know what happened” Alexia says as she swiped the room key. 

“What are you — oh I see” 

There was only one bed, albeit a large double bed. 

You hadn’t shared a bed in almost a year and you wasn’t sure if you were ready for it. Now you had to find  a way to explain this to Alexia.

“I’ll sleep on the floor” Alexia suggests and even though you weren’t ready, you also knew you wasn’t going to let her do that.

“Alexia you are one of the most important players on the team. I cannot let you sleep on the floor. Take the bed, I’ll take the floor”

“Y/N, you are important too. You are our highest goal scorer. I am taking the floor, don’t argue with your captain”

She refused to take no for an answer and you hated it. When you came out the shower Alexia was on the floor and it looked awful. It was almost funny and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Don’t say anything. Bed” Alexia laughed along with you.

The room was dark except from the street lights then peaked through the curtains. Sleep wasn’t coming easy to you and by the sounds of tossing and turning, Alexia was struggling too. 

“Alexia, come sleep in the bed” The thought of having someone sleep next to you wasn’t something you necessarily wanted but Alexia sleeping on the floor wasn’t fair.

“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable” 

There was something in her tone. She wasn’t talking about sharing the bed with a team mate, she was talking about sharing a bed in general. 

“She told you” Eli had to have told alexia about your conversation. 

“Who?” Alexia asked even though she knew you were talking about her mother. 

“Your mother. She told you about what I said”

“I asked but she didn’t tell me anything. I’m sorry that something happened to your friend” 

You sat up upon hearing her condolences. 

“My friend. What are you talking about?” 

Alexia, now sat up too, looked at you as if saying you know what I’m talking about.

“Natalia?” 

She said her name. Nobody had said her name. They knew it would cause too much pain. 

In that moment you are brought back to the last time someone said her name. It was the 5 November 2023 in a hospice not to far from your shared home in London. Natalia was the strongest woman you knew and no one would ever come close to her in your eyes. Yet just after Euros she told you that her time was coming, that the cancer was starting to win. You begged her to fight, you weren’t ready to lose her but you knew that you had been on borrowed time for many many years. The last person to say her name was a nurse as your wife took her final breath before she was called home.

“She was my wife” you could feel your nose twitch as a ball of emotion built in your throat. You knew the day was coming when you talked about her but you didn’t think it would come in Bilbao with Alexia now sitting at the foot of your bed.

The Catalonian knew she heard you correctly but she still sat in disbelief. She had no idea you were dating anyone let alone you were married. Alexia could do nothing but watch as you bury your head in your hand as your body racks with sobs. She wants to hug you, to hold you and to tell you to let it out but you weren’t that close. 

When you aggressively wipe your eyes you notice Alexia looking prettified and you cannot help but burst of into a fit of giggles.

“I’m going to go get Lucy or Keira or anyone else who isn’t me” your captain panics and makes a bee line for the door. She is stopped in her tracks as your hand grabs her wrist.

“You don’t have to”

She didn’t believe you and that was made obvious as her eyes dart back and forward between you and the door. 

“Isn’t this what you have been wanting? To know why I walked away” you pat the side of the bed next to you.

You saw the hesitation is Alexia’s eyes. In that moment she wanted to respect your boundaries and you appreciated that but for the first time in a while the thought of talking about Natalia didn’t make you feel like you would break. 

Once she sat down you turn to face you and you saw the look many people had given you. She felt sorry for you. 

“I didn’t know you were married” 

“Not many people did. We never hid anything. If you look you’ll see her in a lot of photos, she always supported me” you get comfy knowing that this is going to be a long conversation “I’m a private person and all I ever wanted to do was protect her” 

In that moment Alexia understood for she too was a private person. She knew that she was in the limelight but she still kept herself to herself off the pitch. 

“How did she—“ Alexia stopped talking as soon as she realised what she was about to ask “sorry, I shouldn’t have said that” 

“Leukemia” you closed your eyes, took a deep breath and counted to three “she first got it when she was six. We used to take the day off school to go to the hospital. She would call me her emotional support friend” you laugh as you remember the way she made you wear a badge “she won the battle only for it to come back when she was 16 then again at 28. The third battle was the hardest for her and it was the one she lost” 

Alexia caught the way you couldn’t look at her whilst you talked about the hardest times of your wife’s life. 

“She sounds like a strong woman” 

“Oh she was the strongest. She went through so much yet you never would have known it. Natalia had this heart that was big enough to like up the whole world. I wouldn’t be where I am today without her. She supported me in the youths teams, was in the stands when I made my Arsenal debut and moved to France with me when I signed for Lyon. She said she’s followed me everywhere because she knew I’d be lost with her” 

When Alexia sees you laughing, she joins in too. 

“Things got bad just before the euros. I was so close to withdrawing but she begged me to go. She wanted to see me lift that trophy and I did, I did it for her. I didn’t know how bad it was until afterwards and I made the decision to be by her side. We did all the things on her bucket list. A couple of months later she couldn’t fight it anymore. Her strength was gone and the light was barely there. I was able to be by her side as she took her last breath” 

Alexia didn’t stop you as you got off the bed and made your way towards the window. She could tell by the way your hand went straight to your face that you were crying. 

“You wanted to know why I walked about?” You turned to face her and in that moment, knowing what she did, Alexia felt guilty. Guilty for reminding you of the loss you had suffered. 

“I walked away because I didn’t feel like I had a purpose. For so many years I played for her. I scored to see a smile on her face and I won my trophies so that I can give her my medals. I couldn’t return to Lyon without her and it felt wrong being in England” 

“Y/N I’m —“

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry. You didn’t kill her, the cancer did” 

You hated it when people told you they were sorry for your loss. Why? Why are they sorry? You heard it so many times that it made you numb. 

Alexia could tell that you were feeling a lot right now. She wanted to be there if you wanted to talk more about Natalia but she also knew the importance of changing the subject when it’s needed. 

“Can I ask you a question?” She looked at you with a sincere gaze.

“You can. Is it about Na—“ 

Alexia shakes her head.

“Why Barcelona?” 

It is a question that she had been desperate to know. You have now told her why you weren’t ready to go back to Lyon but plenty of teams would have offered you a contract if you announced your return.

“I said it wasn’t about her but turns out it was. Talia loved Spain and Barcelona was her favourite place. I honestly thought I would retire at Lyon but she always said that if she could pick a team I play for them she would choose Barcelona. When I decided to come back, it felt right to sign for Barcelona. Also, Lucy and Keira are here. As you have seen, I have depended on them quite a bit and I knew that it wouldn’t be easy so having someone who knew made everything easier”

You could see Alexia processing what you had told her. 

“I’m happy you don’t play for Lyon anymore”

“Yeah, you might be able to beat them now”

Alexia stared you down and you wondered what her next move would be. Turns out you didn’t have to wait long because a pillow soon smacked you in the face.

You both burst into laughter when the pillow fight turns competitive.

“We really should be getting some sleep” Alexia says as she stands.

You took a second to think. 

“You can sleep in the bed Alexia. I won’t freak out you know”

“Y/N I can’t. Not now”

“Oh stop. I’m not some fragile little doll that will break if she shares a bed with someone. Now get in bed” 

You pull the duvet back and pat the bed. It is only when Alexia gets in that you realise she is on your side and you are on Talia’s.

“You know this is my side of the bed” Alexia says as she gets comfy.

You had your reasons for sleeping on that side. You want to be closest to the door in case someone broke in. You wonder if Alexia has a reason.

“Got to make sure no one comes in and kidnaps you. Buenas noches Y/N” 

You fall asleep that night with ease. You no longer feel the weight of keeping your emotions at bay and having Alexia knowing the truth makes you feel at ease around her for the first time since you joined the club.

From that day on things were different between you and Alexia. You found yourself spending more time with her than you did with Lucy and Keira. The two of them found it strange but didn’t question it. Whilst the defender was still very much protective over you, she did see a change in her captain which lead to her giving her the benefit of the doubt. 

Life in Barcelona was finally what you imagined. Even in January the sun was shining and the sky was blue, unlike the weather you have been used to. The pain in your heart was still there but for the first time in a long whilst you felt happy or at least the closest thing to it that you could feel. Alexia has invited you to family dinner which happened after every other home game. Her mother and sister made you feel welcome. You had become rather close with Eli as she would often reach out to talk to you and check in with you. She didn’t need to say much, the fact that she could understand was more than enough. 

Alba was quite the character and there was never a dull moment with her. She would relentless tease her sister and it had you holding stomach with laughter.

You had received some calls that made you think about a few things. You thought about talking to Lucy and Keira about it but you knew their decision would be biased so you confided in Alexia one night as the two of you walked Nala along Barceloneta.  She helped you work though the feelings that the question brought up and by the the time you arrived back to your apartment, which you learnt was in the building opposite to hers, you knew what your decision would be. 

During the game against Atleti there was a certain Dutchwoman in attendance. It was the second to last game before the Nations league semi final, a game that England has got to by the skin of their teeth. Barcelona came away with a 2-0 win and a lot of the players stayed out on the pitch afterwards to greet the fans that came to support them.

Sarina stood near the locker room and praised the team as they entered. 

“Are you here for Lucy and Keira?” Aitana asked as she walked down the hall.

Behind her walked the two English women, along with Alexia. The latter knew to expect her, it made sense for her to come see you in person. The other two clearly had no idea that their national team coach was coming.

“She isn’t here for them” 

Alexia’s words cause Lucy and Keira’s heads to turn in surprise. 

“Y/N’s still out on the pitch. She is playing with Irene’s son Matteo, shall I go get her?”

“No, I can wait” 

Just as three of them were about to enter they hear your voice followed by a child’s laughter. You walked down the tunnel with Irene and her little boy. Sarina saw just how happy you were and for a brief moment she regretted coming. She questioned whether or not this is what is best for you.

“Gaffa” you saw the look on your team mates faces and chuckled. Surely they knew it was only a matter of time before Sarina came knocking “Let me get showered quickly and we will go” 

“But we’re going out tonight. It’s team night” Aitana sulked.

“I’ll meet you guys there” 

Alexia and you shared a look. She knew what this conversation was going to be about and she was pretty sure she knew what the outcome would be and she was worried. You squeezed her shoulder and smiled before going into the locker room.

It was over 3 hours later that you finally enter the restaurant that the team were eating at. 

All heads turned to you as you walked through the door. The seat reserved for you happened to be next to Alexia which you don’t think was an accident. Lucy and Keira were sat opposite you and you see the look of suspense in their eyes. They hadn’t officially been told what you and Sarina were talking about but they had very good guesses. 

The rest of the team were having their own conversations and you didn’t want to make a scene so you nodded your head and that was enough confirmation for them.

“Yes!!” Lucy stood up suddenly and slammed her hands on the table.

“Holy fuck. Lucia, sit down”  

Lucy does as her told.

“Our captain is back” Keira said to herself. 

You tried your best to include yourself in the conversations around you but your mind kept wandering. You found yourself staring off into the distance. It is only when you feel a gentle hand on your thigh do you realise just how spaced out you were.

“Is everything ok? Did your coach say something because if she did then—“

“Stand down Ale” Alexia’s eye soften at the nickname. It wasn’t a new one for her but you had only just started calling her it and she loved it “I’m just thinking is all. What if I’m not good enough? What if I don’t have a place in that team anymore?” You lean into her and whisper.

“Y/N, they are your team. Yes you took some time away but you lead them for a long time and you told me they knew your reasons. It might take some time to get back into things but you will soon be back to how you were before. Besides if things go well for both of us then we will have a World Cup rematch on our hands and I want to see what might have happened if you played in the summer” 

Oh you didn’t think about that. You hadn’t given your upcoming opponents a second thought. Alexia was right. If England beat France then they will face Spain in the national league final. 

You thought there might be some awkwardness when you walked through the doors at the England camp but you couldn’t have been more wrong. Each player welcomed you with open arms and the players that you didn’t know as much treated you like everyone else did.

There were a few moments when you got pulled aside by Sarina for what she called her mental health checks. She promised that nothing said between you would be told to anyone else and you chose to believe her. You were honest about how heavy the shirt felt when it had the England badge on and you told her of the nerves you were feeling about playing for your country again.

Alexia had kept texting you to check in and for the most part you told her the truth. It was the day before the match when you got overwhelmed and instead of lying, you chose to ignore her. You knew it wasn’t fair but wanted to stay focused. You could bury your feelings for 24 hours. Alexia on the other had wasn’t going to give up on you.

“Alexia” Jenni nudged her friends leg “Earth to Alexia” 

The woman in question had her eyes glued to the her phone as you sent you yet another message.

“What do you want!” Alexia snaps.

“Hey, don’t snap at me. Who you texting? Is it a girl?” Jenni peaked over her shoulder.

“No” Alexia pulled her phone closer to her chest “It’s Y/N”

“Y/N Y/L/N is a girl last time I checked” Jenni couldn’t help but tease.

“She but I don’t like her like that, well I do. Wait! I don’t” Alexia slumps down in her seat  “Oh Jenni, I don’t know how I feel”

Jenni hasn’t seen her friend like this in a long while. Normally Alexia knows what wants and isn’t afraid to go for it. This though is different. It’s almost like she knows what she wants but she is hesitating and Alexia doesn’t hesitate.

“It’s ok not to know but something is clearly bothering you. What is it?” 

“She is ignoring me”

“Last time I saw you you told me she didn’t want anything to do with you”

So much had changed since then and she didn’t know how to explain it. In the end she told her everything she could without going into the finer details. Alexia confesses her feelings and explains that she cannot get a hold of you and that none on your team mates were answering either.

“Alexia, I may not know why she stopped playing football but I saw the way she played, she loves the sport. Her playing for England again is a big deal. Everyone is talking about her press conference she did this morning, it’s all over social media” 

Alexia wasn’t aware of a press conference. She never goes on social media the day before a match because it is quite often a distraction. Jenni picks up on her friend’s obliviousness and gives alexia her phone so she can see what is being said.

Jenni was right. You are everywhere. 

Y/N Y/L/N makes her return but what does it mean? Why now?

Sarina Weigman confirm Y/N is the captain of this team despite turning her back on them.

Beth Mead ruled out for Semi final, should be back for final if England are successful.

World Cup rematch? Y/N says that Spain wouldn’t have won if she was playing.

Alexia read headline after headline, article after article. She was beginning to feel overwhelmed so she couldn’t imagine what you must have been feeling. The last headline made the Catalonian laugh because she too had thought about what the outcome might have been if you were playing.

“I think the last one is a stretch” Jenni mumbles.

“We will never know” Alexia is ever more determined to get a hold of you. Just as she was about to call you again, a message comes through.

Hi. Sorry I haven’t been around, it’s been a lot. Thank you for checking in on me Alexia, I promise you I’m ok. Good luck in your match tomorrow.

“She’s ok” Alexia tells Jenni as if the forward was the one who was worried about you.

The next day you wake up and are ridden with nerves. It’s not a familiar feeling and you know that you need to calm down before the game or things will end badly. 

Despite protests from your team mates, you will start the game on the bench. It’s the right decision and you make sure to tell Sarina just that. Whilst the team’s recent performances have been spotty to say the least, you refuse to walk back in like nothing had changed. You know you need to earn your place on the pitch with the lionesses.

Spain’s game has an early kick off and finishes just after yours starts. The team get back to the hotel and have organised to watch it the hotel bar. Much to Alexia’s dismay she is called for Media seen as though Spain won and have qualified for the Olympics. 

When she finally joins the team she knows that the first half is over but that’s it.

“What’s the score?” She asks anyone who is listening.

“2–0” Ona says.

“That’s—“ Alexia is cut off before she can finish her sentence.

“To Germany” Jenni knows that Alexia would have wanted England to win if for no other reason than you “Y/N is going on for Toone” 

She cannot help the smile that tugs at her lips as your number goes on the subs board. 

The world watches as Mary runs over to you and gives you the band.

“Welcome back skipper” Mary pushes the band up your arm before you can stop her because she know’s that is what you’ll do. She was there in the captain’s meeting when you told Sarina that you didn’t deserve the captaincy.

“Game on, Maz” 

It felt right being on the pitch and wearing the three lions crest. You allow yourself to take in your return but only for a couple of seconds before you turn your attention to the game and the challenge that you face. 3 goals was a lot to ask for when Germany are playing as good as they are. It wouldn’t be easy and it would take everything you had but you never shied away from a challenge and you wasn’t about to start now.

After about ten minutes you found your rhythm and England were playing the type of football they are known for. It doesn’t take long for LJ to make a run and dance around the opposition. You have faith in her but follow her anyways in case she loses the ball. She doesn’t but Frohms does save her shot, she doesn’t save your rebound though.

“Get the ball” You shout to the Chelsea player. 

When the match restarts, the lionesses are on the hunt. Shot after shot is taken but somehow the ball stays out the net. England get a corner in the 80 minute and you’re lurking on the edge of the box, ready to make your run. Popp is the one marking you because she has studied you new way of play since joining Barcelona. Chloe’s corner is pin point and no amount of research in the world could stop you from getting the second goal and tying the game.

Alexia finds herself up on her feet with Ona and a couple of your team mates when you get your brace.

“Vamos Y/N” she says.

“You do realise that we will face them if they win” Misa reminds her.

“Right now, I don’t care. She deserves this and I’m celebrating my team mate” Alexia didn’t care if she might face you in the final.

“She told you” Aitana whispers as she pulls her captain down to the sofa “That is why she doesn’t hate you anymore and why you’ve stopped interrogating her”

Alexia does nothing but nod. Her fellow midfielder didn’t need to know anything else and she doesn’t ask for it either. She accepts that the reason must be valid if Alexia has dropped her questions.

There are 4 minutes announced of stoppage time. 

When you look up the the score board and see the number you get flashbacks on the euros final. You have been in this position before and came out victorious. Today was going to be no different. 

It was huge mistake by Germany when Gwinn takes down Hemp about a meter outside the box.

In the past you have found yourself stood over the ball with Beth but this game it’s Alex who stands beside you.

With her hand over her mouth she gives you strict instructions.

“You’re taking it” 

It’s not a question and you don’t argue.

“You have saved us tonight, now get your hattrick”

The amount of faith Alex had in you did wonders but it didn’t settle every nerve running through your body. Free kicks were your specialty, this wasn’t nothing new and the pressure was a familiar feeling. 

As soon as you strike the ball you know it’s going in. It’s a hard feeling to describe but many call it shooters instinct, it had never been wrong and it wasn’t now. The ball floated over the wall and went in the further part of the top corner. The shot was unsaveable. You ran over to the bench, more specifically to Sarina, to celebrate with the woman who gave you space and welcomed you back with open arms. 

“It’s like you never left”

Her words caught you off guard. For a brief moment you agreed with her but you got hit by the feeling of grief, you looked towards the family section and there was no one supporting you. Maybe some things hadn’t changed but a lot certainly has. When the full time whistle was blown your team mates ran towards you, all of the congratulating you on your performance and your first game back.

It was a weird kind of celebrations that night. The team was split, half wanted to celebrate getting through the final and the other half knew the job wasn’t done, they knew that the biggest task was yet to be faced. Spain had beaten them before and on the greatest stage, the UEFA national league final could either repeat history and England could rewrite it.

The team travelled to Madrid that night, only hours after the game. Upon arrival almost everyone went to their rooms but not you. You knew sleep wouldn’t come easy so you decided to wander the streets of Madrid. It had become a habit of yours, you would walk around and people watch. Every human had their own story to tell and it made you forget about yours.

You had no destination planned yet you found yourself stopping outside a hotel, the one you know from your text messages with Alexia, was the one the Spain team was staying at. 

A lot of feelings were running through you and you saw this as the universe’s sign that maybe you should talk about them. You have confided in Alexia since Sarina first reached out to you, she knew more than anyone how you really felt about returning and you talked about this very moment, the hours after your first game when the past is very much present in your mind. You remember the words she told you ‘when that happens you call me’ so that is what you do or at least that is what you go to do.

“Y/N” you hear a familiar voice say. You turn to see Jenni, Irene, Laia and Misa walking towards you.

“Hi guys” your voice is quiet, shy almost and you cannot help the way your eyes scan for Alexia knowing full well that these are the people she spends the most time with.

“What are you doing here?” Misa asks you. The two of you hadn’t formally been introduced but you had scored a brace against her in the El Classico.

“I’m—“ 

“Here for Alexia” Jenni says with a knowing look and you cannot help but feel like she knows something you don’t.

You can only nod. Apart from Irene, you didn’t know these girls very well and the version of yourself that you show to strangers is very different to the one that your friends see.

‘I can take you to her. We are roommates” Jenni seems sincere with her words but you feel a pang of jealousy. Everybody knew that the two of them used to date, it shouldn’t bother you, you had no right to be jealous yet that is exactly what you were feeling.

You think about it and Jenni can tell you are thinking about it.

“She hasn’t stopped talking about you and I know she will want to see you. She was your biggest fan when we watched the game” Jenni added hoping to create some sense of comfortability.

“She watched my game?” You asked in disbelief. You thought you had no one but maybe you did, maybe Alexia was the someone that was cheering you on but instead of the family area she was cheering you on from the hotel you were currently standing outside of.

“She did. I think she forgot she was Spanish for a minute” Irene says which causes you to laugh.

“I doubt that but I appreciate the support. You know I shouldn’t be talking to you, you guys are the enemy now” 

“Yet you came here for our captain, she will be your enemy too. Come on, I’ll take you to her. We wouldn’t want you to be spotted outside our hotel, just think of the optics” Jenni once again says.

“Ok” you nod your head a few times to solidify your answer.

The girls lead you through the hotel but only Jenni and Irene stay with you, Misa and Laia walk ahead. The longer you walk the more you begin wondering if this was a good idea. What if you are overstepping your boundaries. You had no right to be here and could easily be turned away at any point.

You enter the lounge area of the hotel which holds the majority of the Spanish national team yet your eyes search for only one. She see’s you before you see her and is walking over to you with a worried look on her face.

“Estas bien? What are you doing here?” Alexia’s arm rests on your shoulder.

“It was an accident. I was out for a walk and I ended up here” you explained.

“She was asking for you” Jenni says even though technically it wasn’t true. In her eyes she wanted to play matchmaker after it was made evidently clear that Alexia was hesitant to peruse things with you even though she had feelings for you.

“Is this true?” Alexia asks and you nod.

“We won, I returned, I scored, wore the armband and I didn’t have anyone is stands” you whispered so only she could hear you.

The look in your eyes changed. For the first time that night you showed your true emotions. Alexia didn’t need to hear anything else. She grabbed your hand and escorted you to the outdoor seating area. She sat down whilst your paced the patio.

“Y/N, come sit down” Alexia pats the seat next to her and you comply “Are you ok, really? What made you come here to me?”

“I’m not ok but I’m more ok than I thought I would be. It’s been quite a day, that game was —“

“Incredible. You changed the entire play” 

“It felt right. I belong on the pitch with the girls, I should never have left” You didn’t register that you felt guilty about your absence until you said the words out loud to Alexia.

“You needed to. You had to process your loss and you returned when you were ready”

Alexia was very understanding, you had to give her that. 

“That answers my first question but the second” the Catalonian didn’t want to push but there had to be a reason and until she heard the truth she was filled with worry. You had been walking the streets of Madrid, alone, at almost midnight.

“Why am I here?” You repeated it. Maybe you hoped that hearing the question again would help you figure out an answer, it did “I wanted to celebrate…….with you. I was surrounded by my team, people I consider family yet you were the one I wanted to call and tell about the game”

You dipped your head when you felt yourself getting emotional. You were suppose to be happy but with everything you were feeling you were overwhelmed. On top of what you were feeling you couldn’t ignore the way your heart beat twice as fast because Alexia was sat opposite you with her hand now resting on your thigh. 

When you looked up Alexia noticed the the tears in your eyes and was quick to wipe away one when it fell.

“I shouldn’t be feeling this way Alexia, it is wrong” you met her eye as you made your version of a confession.

“You can be happy about playing football again Y/N. Natalia would have wanted you to be”

“Don’t say her name, not now” you shook your head and Alexia’s hand fell back to its prior place on your thigh.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep. I can give you space if that what you need” the blonde stands, ready to leave you be but you grab her hand and pull her back down.

“I don’t want space and that is the problem. I wasn’t talking about the game Alexia. I shouldn’t be feeling this way about you” you shook your head in disbelief. You were sure that your shot of happiness died with your wife but you have developed feelings for Alexia and could no longer deny it.

“Y/N” Alexia cupped your face so that you would look at her but when you did, her hand didn’t move.

“Ale” you melted into her touch. That very touch gave you butterflies and you enjoyed the act of intimacy.

The two of you went silent but each of your thoughts were very loud. Alexia glanced at your lips, you knew what she was about to do and you didn’t stop her. Maybe you should have, maybe you should have pulled away but you didn’t. You didn’t move when her lips hovered centimetres from your own, you let her kiss you. You froze in the moment, like a deer in headlights. It was only when you closed your eyes did you realise what was happening. The kiss felt like you were cheating, it felt wrong yet felt so right.

“You shouldn’t have done that. We can’t do this. It was wrong” you pushed Alexia away and stood up hastily.

You stormed away before Alexia had the chance to speak. All eyes were on you as you walked through the sea of Spanish players. Their eyes went from you and then to Alexia who was running through, trying to catch up to you. She was hot on your heels until you turned to face her. She waited a couple of seconds before taking steps towards you.

“Stop” you say but she doesn’t “No!” you held you arm out to further imply your seriousness.

After that she can do nothing else but watch you walk away from her. Her hazel eyes stayed on you until you were out the lobby doors and onto the streets of the Spanish capital.

Alexia was frozen in place. She has ruined everything by rushing but she felt something when she touched you, she felt a spark and that wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t feel the same thing she did. You told her that had feelings for her, you came all this way to see her. Those things meant something but maybe she had read it wrong, maybe it had all been in her head.

“Alexia, are you ok? You’re crying” Irene appeared in front of her. The woman in question was quick to wipe her eyes in hope that no one else would see her tears.

“I’m fine. It’s getting late, everyone should go to their rooms. We have a final to prepare for and we need to be at our best” Alexia walked away.

The two of you were very quiet in the upcoming days and were laser focused on the task at hand. Beat the opposing team and being the first even UEFA Nations League champions. Both of your team mates could tell something was wrong but they didn’t know what to do. Your team mates wasn’t aware of your late night adventures until Aitana texted Keira to ask if you were ok and told her that Alexia wasn’t after you showed up at their hotel. The English midfielder kept this to herself given that Lucy has only just got started talking to Alexia and there were a few players on the team who’s protectiveness could rival the defenders.

By the time the day of the final came around there was plenty of reason for concern but both teams knew that this is what you had been working towards. Yes, a trophy was on the line but it was the previous trophy that was the topic of conversation. 

The first time Alexia saw you was when they arrived for the pitch inspection. You were near the goal with LJ, it has become a new pre match routine for the two of you. Well you did it the game a couple of days ago and you won that so the two of you gravitated towards the goal today. 

Alexia wanted to go to you and that is what she was going to do until she felt a hand grab her wrist.

“Alexia” 

She turned to face Keira.

“Leave her be”

“I didn’t mean to upset her. We were talking about feelings and then I kissed her, I couldn’t help it. It felt right in the moment” Alexia couldn’t stop talking. It’s like was making a confession and Keira would be the one deciding whether or not it was a sin.

Meanwhile the English midfielder couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Sure she had suspected something was going on between the two of you but she also had a strong sense that you wasn’t ready for anything knew. In her eyes you were still healing.

“You kissed her?” Keira whispered as not to bring attention to their conversation.

Alexia was about to explain further but Keira stopped her as she sure her other team mate coming towards them.

“Lucy is coming. I will talk to you about this later” 

It was as if Keira flipped a switch. Her look of concern was replaced with a smile and she even put on a fake laugh so Lucy wouldn’t arrive to an awkward silence. Soon enough it was a gathering of Barcelona players yet Alexia could stay focused on what her friends were saying for you were beginning to walk towards her.

In your eyes you wanted to talk to Alexia and you knew you needed to. The other night was a lot for you to process but you did owe her an explanation for leaving, that much you did know. She looked good as you watched her enter the pitch. You let your eyes linger in the most discreet way possible. 

“You and Putellas?” LJ asked you. She wasn’t aware of what happened, nor did she know you were married. In her eyes, you were hiding something and she wasn’t wrong.

“We are friends…..I think. It’s complicated” you admitted knowing that Lauren wouldn’t push you further.

“Uncomplicate it” she suggested.

“If only it was that easy. Let’s head in and get ready”

You felt the change in heartbeat again as you got closer to where Alexia was standing. Your head might have been all over the place but you heart was being very clear in what it wanted only you weren’t ready to admit it.

“Y/N” Alexia shouted to you as you walked past her.

“Hi” for whatever reason, you pulled her into a hug “Good luck today, you’re going to need it” 

You both started laughing at the quick change of energy.

“I don’t think it’s us that need luck. We beat you in the summer” Alexia was cocky but she wasn’t confident.

“You didn’t beat me though” you couldn’t help but smile at her.

Your smile was genuine and that is something Alexia took great hope in seeing. Maybe you weren’t mad at her, maybe you just needed a little space.

What you said next doubled that hope.

“Come find me after the game”

Then just as quick as the hope was there, it wasn’t.

“We need to talk”

Those 4 words struck fear in Alexia but she didn’t have the chance to say anything because you were already down the tunnel by the time she came to her senses.

Your was brought up several times in the Spanish locker room and each time all eyes fell to Alexia for she is the one that knew you most. She had learnt how you think, what plays you are going to make before you make them. In her team’s eyes she knew how to stop you. Only it wasn’t that easy. Alexia did knew how you play but that style changes when you are hungry, like you have a point to prove and this game brought both of those things.

“Stop focusing on Y/N! If you focus on how to stop her then you’ve already lost. Focus on stopping her from getting the ball” That is the last thing she said before heading out into the tunnel. 

The lionesses were waiting for her, she expected it. It was an intimidation tactic. You weren’t there and that was a surprise, she would have bet good money that you would be in the starting 11. Mary stood opposite her and smirked when she saw the look of bewilderment on the opposing players face. 

Alexia wanted to say something, she kept looking back at the team. If she was paying attention she would notice that there was only 10 players on the England side of the tunnel. With her eyes now facing forward she didn’t see you walking towards the front of the line. The sound of your cleats fell on deaf ears.

Her head shot to the side when she caught a glimpse of you standing next to her with the pendent in your hand.

“Capital Y/L/N, nice to see you back where you belong” Alexia covered her mouth, her being well aware that there were cameras on her.

You shake your head at her greeting.

“Captain Putellas. You’re going to wish I wasn’t” you had one last attempt to get in her head.

“No I won’t. Win or lose today, this is something the world, myself included, has been waiting for” 

You thought you would get a smart remark not a reply that was genuine.

“Alexia” 

“Y/N” 

Those were the last words spoken except from a good look after the coin toss.

You called a huddle before everyone got into place. This game was important, not only because of the trophy on the line but it was the lionesses chance at redemption. To prove that it was only one game.

“I want you all to do something for me. Play for right now, not for the past. You cannot change what happened in the summer, no matter how hard you try. Winning today won’t get you the star on the shirt but it can be the reset you guys have been wanting. That loss has been haunting you, I can see it by the look on your faces and I promise you here today that if you play with revenge in your hearts then you will fail. Yes, this is Spain but we are England. We don’t stay down, we get up and fight. We stand together as a team, a pride. We go out there and leave everything on the pitch” 

Each player is hooked on every word as you give Mary the signal. 

“England on three” 

You all come together one more time before getting in position.

Alexia tries to do the same by most of the team is watching you.

“She is going to make it hard” Olga tells her captain.

“She is going to make our lives hell for the next 90 minutes but that’s not to say we can’t give it back. Look at that star on your shirt, we got that by beating this team. Yes, Y/N wasn’t playing but she is one player. As good as she may be, we are better. You’ve seen what everyone is saying, they are calling our World Cup win a fluke, that we didn’t win but England lost. We may have qualified for the Olympics but our job is not done. We have a trophy to win. Vamos Espana” 

Just like England did, Spain come together before readying themselves for the game.

The game which starts in the worst possible way for the away team. It seems the your players might be a bit more nervous that they are letting on. Inside the first 15 minutes Salma gets through on goal and sends Spain up 1-0. It wasn’t ideal but it didn’t mean the game was over either. You were playing safe, as a way to get the most out of the team around you. When the first half is done with you haven’t take a single shot on goal. 

Spain entered the tunnel happy and England entered it less so.

The atmosphere was eerie in the locker room and you could see the self doubt radiating off your team mates.

Sarina takes the floor and explains all sorts of strategies but nobody is listening. They are in their own head.

“Do you mind?” You walk up to Sarina hoping to have a talk with your team. The coach happily steps aside.

��How many of you are thinking about the World Cup? Raise your hand” nobody does and you decide to call bullshit “You’re lying and I won’t have that. You are telling me none of you are out there thinking of the summer? the picture of them lifting the trophy that should have been yours?” 

One by one players begin lifting their hands.

“I can stand here and say I haven’t been good enough. I need to be better and I will be better. In 45 minutes we will be crowned champions. The question is are we going to do it in style or are we going to make it harder for ourselves? We know what we need to do and we will do it” 

You leave the locker room and go back out onto the pitch. You are the first one out there and you take a minute to look at the score board. 1-0. You hated to lose but more than that, you hated to let people down. You made the decision to come back and you didn’t do that to come second.  You returned to be a champion and to make Natalia proud, you wasn’t doing to let her down. You had spent the past couple of days trying not to think about her and maybe that was the problem. She was your greatest strength, your biggest supporter and she may be no longer with you, you may be beginning to move on but that doesn’t mean you have to forget about her. No, you need to play for her just as you always did.

The first ten minutes of the second half it was like a different team was on the pitch. England were pushing and pressing and Spain were struggling. In the 67 minute was when the game was made even once again. You and hempo were tiring out the defence and it made them vulnerable. On one counter attack they couldn’t keep up. Irene was the only player standing between you and Cata but she could see Hempo running up beside you. She found herself in a lose lose situation so she stuck with you in hopes that the pressure would work, it didn’t. You pull her in just enough to give hempo enough space. At the last minute you passed to your left and she fired the ball into the back of the net.

Game on.

Spain were beginning to tire and the one touch football that was known around the world began to work in favour of England. They were unable to play out from the back because you, Alessia, Hempo and LJ was pressing the defence. It was mind play and it was working. 

It was during a corner where things got interesting.

“Keep going!” You clapped your hands to rally the team “we are in their heads, now we end it” 

“You’re not in our heads” Alexia says as she chooses to mark you. It was a tactic they hadn’t done yet, so far Jenni had marked you.

“Just you saying that is proof that we are but feel free to prove me wrong” you had a minute to talk as the ref walk talking to Lucy and Irene.

“I will. Let’s make it interesting. You score right now and I’ll buy you a drink later”

“So that means I’ll be taking the trophy and your money? Oh you’re on” 

Alexia followed you are you walked around the box as you got into position. You would end up in one or two places; front post or in the middle. Never did she think you would make a run for the back post and swap positions will Lucy. The change caught Alexia out and when the ball hit the back of the neck she shook her head in defeat. 

She had played right into your hands. You had pulled her in with your words and left her hanging when you celebrated what would go on to be the winning goal of the game.

You had to take a moment when the game was over. Everyone was celebrating but you and Lucy made the effort to congratulate your club team mates of a game well played.

“Ay, Capi. You’re predictable you know that?” Lucy threw her arms around the Catalonian.

“Lucy!” You slapped her on the back of the head “What she meant to say is you guys played a good game and that we will see you in Paris”

“We’ll see them in Barcelona” Lucy tried to correct you.

“I mean on the pitch as opponents, idiot”  

Alexia was to focused on what the defender said first to hear the bickering that was now taking place between the two of you.

“What did she mean?” Alexia asked you.

Lucy gave you a look before leaving the two of you be.

“You once told me that in order to see yourself as the best, you had to beat the best. Tonight you wanted to beat me”

“No, I —“ 

“You did and that’s ok. I wanted to beat you too. It’s our competitive nature. That need you had allowed us a way in. I didn’t know it would come from a corner, only that in at least one part of the game you will stick to me just so you could say you got the upper hand”

“I should have dropped you off, let Irene pick you up and followed Lucy” Alexia understands the error she made.

“You should have but don’t beat yourself up about it. That wasn’t our first plan or second. Our plan was for Hempo to tire Ona out and for Lucy to get inside Olga’s head. Without those two things happening, we wouldn’t have got the corner in the way we did”

Alexia didn’t know whether to be pissed off or impressed that you read her and her team so well.

“You deserve the win today. Go celebrate with your team” 

“I will but remember you owe me a drink. I’ll text you the address of wherever we go. Invite the girls too”

Alexia watched you walk away but there was one more thing she wanted to tell you only she feared it would do more damage than good. In the end she bite the bullet and ran to you.

“Y/N” 

“Hi again” you laughed “Do you want another explanation of our strategy? We can always watch the game back when we in home in Barcelona” 

Home in Barcelona. There is something about the way you said it that made alexia feel warm and fuzzy inside.  She quickly shook her head to rid herself of those thoughts and the overthinking that came with them.

“I just want to say that Natalia would have been proud of you today. Not just today but the other game too. I know it’s not my place to say that because I didn’t know her but you should know that. You—“ Alexia began rambling.

“Breathe. Thank you for saying that. I know she is looking down on me right now with a huge smile on her face and truth is if I think about her too much then I think I might cry so I don’t want to go into that right now. Thank you though” 

Alexia couldn’t help but feel like she shouldn’t have said that.

The ceremony went by in the blind of an eye. One minute you are waiting for Spain to collect their medals, the next you are raising the trophy with Mary. Back in the locker room you find yourself staring at the medal on your neck. Never in your professional career had one stayed on your neck for this long and never has the gold felt so heavy. It felt like it was weighing you down so you take it off and stuff it into your back. You would talk about that means with your therapist if you had one. 

Later on in the night you found yourself at the hotel bar with the rest of the team celebrating. You tried your best to be happy and part of you truly was but you life off the field was becoming more complicated and hard to ignore.

“Excuse me” you tell the group that included Leah, Georgia, Keira and Lucy. 

“Should we be concerned?” Georgia asks.

“Yes but let her have a moment. These past ten days have been a lot for her” Lucy tells her friend.

They watched as you paced back and forth on the balcony. To the English it was warm outside but there was still a chill in the air and you weren’t wearing a jacket. Keira kept looking at her watch asking herself how long is long enough before she goes out to you. 

Some of the Spanish team arrive about an hour after the lionesses. Some of them go to the bar, some go to friend but Alexia, well she only had one interest and she couldn’t it or more specifically couldn’t find you. Her eyes scanned the room one, twice and third time. She had her phone out ready to call just as she sees you. 

Leah catches her walking towards you and wants to stop her.

“What is she doing” The blonde asks defensively “Y/N doesn’t want anything to do with her”

The Arsenal player has heard about you bust up when Keira visiting England over Christmas. 

“Things are different now but I’m not sure this is the right thing to do. Alexia!” Keira shouts her club captain over.

“Hola. Congratulations again. You guys sure know how to party” she tried to be polite even though she had no interest in a conversation with anyone who wasn’t you.

“Thank you” Leah seems genuine “Were you going to see Y/N?” 

Alexia nods.

“That might not be the best idea right now. I think she needs a minute to herself. It’s been quite the day for her”

“I know. That’s why I want to talk to her” Alexia knew that you might be been struggling but to her that was all the more reason for her to talk to you.

“She won’t even wear her medal” Georgia adds earning her a shove. As far as the English players are aware, Alexia didn’t know anything.

“That isn’t surprising. Every tournament until this one she has given her medal to Natalia” Alexia says as if it is the most obvious thing but your friends didn’t put two and two together.

“Wait” Lucy says “She told you about her?” Again, Alexia nods.

“When? She hasn’t talked about her since she passed” the defender added.

“After Christmas” Alexia explains but goes no further.

“That’s why she went to you the other night but then you—“

“Keira, I won’t talk about that right now. I just want make sure she is ok and I can’t do that if I am being interrogated by you” 

With that Alexia leaves your friends speechless and makes her way towards the balcony.

As quietly as possible, Alexia slides the door open and closes it behind her. She didn’t want to startle you so she watched from a distance. Your face wasn’t puffy so you hadn’t been crying but your posture was stiff so you were stressed.

“They’ve spent the past hour burning holes in the back of my head from their staring yet you have come straight out” you turn to see Alexia resting against the door. 

“I owe you a drink and —” 

“And yet your hands are empty” you point to Alexia’s hand which as you stated aren’t holding a drink “You can come closer you know. I’m not going to blow”

“I know it’s just that—“

“The last time we were along I ran away crying” you laugh as you think back to that night. Things were going really well until they wasn’t.

“Are you going to let me finish a sentence or are you going to keep talking for me?”

You mumble an apology and signal for her to continue.

“Your friends know I know and I accidentally told keira we kissed” 

“Figures. She has been hovering” 

The two of you go quiet. It’s not awkward, it’s comfortable but even then it’s not what either of you wanted.

“You said we needed to talk” Alexia didn’t want to push things and you had told her this before the game.

“We do. What happened the other night it—“

“Shouldn’t have happened”

“Who is finishing the other’s sentences now” 

“Lo siento”

“As I was saying” you send her smirk so she knows she isn’t in trouble “The other night was very overwhelming for me, not because I didn’t like what happened but because I did. I told you that I had feelings and those feelings are for you Alexia. You make me feel things that I thought I’d never feel again. I promised my heart and love to her Alexia and to feel these things for someone else is like an act of betrayal. It feels wrong but I don’t want those feelings to stop. You kissed me and I knew it was going to happen yet I didn’t to stop it. I shouldn’t have ran away like that”

“It was a lot for you, I understand that” Alexia tried to reassure you that it was ok.

“It was but I should have stayed. You wanted to talk to me and I didn’t give you the opportunity. Just because I lost someone doesn’t mean that it’s only my feelings that matter. I’m sorry Alexia” 

Alexia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Since you said the words ‘we need to talk’ she has been trying to think of all the things you could have said, an apology was not one of them.

“Can I say what I would have that night?” Alexia asks and you nods your head whilst closing the distance between you.

“Those feelings you talked about, I feel them too. Things changed between us after you told me and I couldn’t ignore it, trust me I tried. I was also aware of your loss and that this might not be something you are ready for so I talked to my mum one night. She is the only other person I know who has experienced the same loss you have. I told her that I had fallen for you and that I wanted to act on my feelings. You know what she told me? She told me that time heals all wounds but no amount of time is the same. If I wanted to prove to you that I truly liked you then I would need to take it slow so that is what I am willing to do. If you want to pursue this then we will take it slow, as slow as you need. You said it feels like an act of betrayal and I respect that. I won’t push you into anything you’re not ready for”

Alexia reached out for you and noticed once again tears were falling down your face.

“I have made you cry again. I shouldn’t have said anything. Y/N I am so sorry”

“Alexia, these aren’t sad tears” you reach for her hand  “I can’t promise you that this will be easy. When Natalia died she took a lot of my heart with her and I don’t know how much is left but I want to share what I have left with you. Please be patient with me Alexia because I don’t know how to do this again. For most of my life it has been her and I but now I get the chance at happiness again, with you. We can take this slow?”

“We will go as slow are you want. I have nothing but time for you Y/N”

Alexia knew what to say and for the first time in a long time you found yourself leaning forward. Just as you were about to kiss her she moves and kisses your cheek.

“Slowly Y/N” Alexia winked causing you to chuckle “How about we go for dinner when we return to Barcelona?“

“I would really like that”

“Me too. Now if I remember correctly I owe you a drink” Alexia holds the door open so that you both can rejoin the party.

“That does seem to be the case. Make it a double. It’s not every day you pull one over on La Reina to score the winning goal” you shoved her playfully.

[iamgonnagetyouback]

breakdown ⋆˚࿔

synopsis ⭑.ᐟ james potter x blacksister!reader who breaks down in front of him

warnings: mentions of abandonment, reader has a breakdown

word count: 1,004 words

navigation┆ james potter masterlist┆request here 𝜗𝜚

The halls of Hogwarts were silent this time of night, the only sound the occasional creak of floorboards or the soft wind brushing against the stone walls outside. James Potter had been patrolling—another night of prefect duty—when he saw a figure slumped near a window, head in their hands.

He wouldn’t have paid much attention, probably would’ve assumed it was someone sneaking out past curfew, but the gleam of dark hair caught his eye. He stopped, his heart sinking. It was you.

You and James weren’t friends. In fact, you weren’t friends with anyone, really, except your own family and some Slytherins like Barty, Evan and Pandora. Most people knew to keep their distance from the Black siblings, pure-blooded and cold. You walked with your chin high, always distant and aloof, like you didn’t care about the world around you.

But now, huddled near the window, your shoulders shook with quiet sobs. James hesitated, unsure if he should leave or approach. He wasn’t used to seeing you like this—broken.

Slowly, he stepped forward. “Hey…”

You didn’t respond. Your sobs didn’t falter, and he suddenly felt out of place. He wasn’t supposed to see this—wasn’t supposed to see you like this. But something inside him couldn’t just walk away.

“Black?” His voice was softer this time, unsure, but you still didn’t move. He took another step closer, and that’s when you finally looked up, eyes red and puffy. There was a desperation in your gaze that caught him off guard, and before he could say anything, you shook your head.

“Please…” your voice was hoarse, a whispered plea. “Don’t look at me.”

James froze. He’d seen people cry before, but never like this. Never someone so proud, so unbreakable, shatter in front of him.

You wiped your face quickly, trying to compose yourself, but it was no use. Your mask had already crumbled. You knew James could see everything now—the pain, the hurt, the cracks in the perfect image of the Black family. And for some reason, that made it worse. He wasn’t supposed to see you like this. No one was.

“Look, I didn’t mean to—” he began, but you cut him off.

“Just… don’t,” you choked out, voice shaky. “Please.”

James swallowed hard, guilt flooding him. He could leave, give you your space like you asked, but something in his gut told him that’s not what you really needed.

“What happened?” he asked softly.

You stiffened, staring down at your hands, the silence stretching unbearably. James was about to give up when you finally spoke, your voice barely audible.

“Sirius… he ran away.”

James blinked, his heart skipping a beat. Sirius had only run away from home a few days ago, but he hadn’t told anyone where he’d gone—only that he’d shown up at the Potter’s doorstep with nothing but the clothes on his back. How did you know?

You must have sensed his confusion because you let out a bitter laugh, though it was tinged with more sadness than anything else. “I know he’s with you.”

James’s throat went dry. Of course you knew. Sirius was your brother, after all. But that didn’t explain why you were crying—why the tough, untouchable Black sister had broken down in the middle of a dark corridor.

“He didn’t even tell me,” you continued, voice wavering. “He just… left.”

The words hit James like a blow to the chest. He’d always seen Sirius as invincible, but to you—his sister—Sirius leaving must have felt like betrayal. Like abandonment. And for the first time, James understood. You were left behind to deal with the mess of the Black family while your brother escaped.

You sniffled, wiping your face again, but this time your hands trembled. “I’m supposed to be the strong one. The one who holds it together. But…” You broke off, biting your lip hard, as if trying to stop yourself from crying more. “But I couldn’t. Not this time.”

James crouched down beside you, unsure of what to say. “It’s okay to not be strong all the time,” he said quietly, surprised at how soft his own voice sounded.

You shook your head, squeezing your eyes shut. “Not for me. Not in my family.”

He understood that. The Blacks had a reputation to uphold—a legacy of power, of purity. Emotions had no place in their world.

But you were just a person. A sister who had lost her brother to a world that wasn’t yours.

“I can’t hate him for leaving,” you whispered, almost to yourself. “I just… I just wish he’d told me.”

James’s chest tightened. “He was probably trying to protect you.”

“I don’t need protecting,” you snapped, though the words came out too broken to sound convincing.

Silence stretched between you, the weight of everything pressing down. James wanted to say something to fix it, but he knew there was nothing he could say. Sirius was gone, and you were left to pick up the pieces.

“He’s going to be okay,” James finally said. “I’ll… I’ll look after him.”

You looked up at him then, eyes glassy but determined. For a moment, the vulnerability vanished, and you were the strong, unshakable Black again. But this time, James saw beneath it. Saw the hurt that came with that strength.

“Promise me,” you said softly. “Promise you’ll take care of him. No matter what.”

James nodded, his voice firm. “I promise.”

Your shoulders slumped in relief, but the sadness in your eyes didn’t fade. You stood slowly, brushing off your robes like nothing had happened, though the cracks were still there, visible to him now.

Without another word, you turned to leave, but before you walked away, you paused, looking back over your shoulder. “Thank you,” you whispered.

James opened his mouth to respond, but you were already gone, disappearing into the shadows of the corridor, leaving him alone with the weight of your words.

He’d keep his promise. For you, for Sirius. Because now, more than ever, he understood just how much it mattered.

© iamgonnagetyouback ⋆.˚ please do not copy, translate, or repost any of my work.

[sunny44]

I can stay

Pairing: Lando Norris x Fem!reader

Warnings: none I guess

Summary: Y/n, feeling hurt and insecure after seeing photos of Lando with another girl, assumed that he moved on but he unexpectedly shows up at her door, leading to a heartfelt conversation about their feelings.

Previous Part

Several months have passed since Lando decided to leave, leaving behind what we had. I had already grown accustomed to his absence, trying to move on with my life. Tonight, I planned to go out with my friends to a local bar, hoping to distract my mind from the thoughts that haunt me.

We were having fun, laughing and chatting animatedly, until I decided to take a look at Instagram. And there they were - photos of Lando with a girl, smiling and looking completely in love. My heart sank as I read the caption confirming my worst fears: she was his new girlfriend.

Suddenly, the atmosphere in the bar felt heavy and suffocating. I could no longer concentrate on my friends' conversation, my mind spinning around the image of Lando with that girl. And then my insecurities started to creep into my mind, of how that girl was everything I was not, and that led me to a conclusion.

And apparently the problem was me.

Without a word, I abruptly stood up from the table and ran out of the bar.

Back in the comfort of my apartment, tears began to stream down my face, smudging my makeup. I sank into the couch, trying to process the flood of emotions flooding my heart. How could I be so naive as to think he would come back to me or that I would be enough for Lando Norris.

After I finished cleaning my makeup, I put on my pajamas and as I was finishing tying my hair into a bun, I heard knocks on the door.

My heart skipped a beat with the startle I got from the loud knocks, but I couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope and at the same time I was full of anger and hurt. Reluctantly, I went to the door and opened it.

And there he was, standing in the hallway, with a look of regret on his face.

"Y/n, please, let me explain," he began, his voice full of urgency.

I looked at him incredulously, my mind spinning with a mixture of emotions.

"What is there to explain, Lando? I saw the photos. You have a new girlfriend, so if you came here to rub that in my face you can leave, you wasted your time.”

I went to close the door but he held it.

"No, Y/n, you're misunderstanding. She's not my girlfriend.” He said with some despair. “And I would never do something like that.”

I rolled my eyes, unable to believe a word of what he was saying.

"Oh, sure. And the romantic photos are just a coincidence, is that it? Or the fact that you show up at my door after months right after the photos went viral on the internet?”

"I know it looks bad, but please, give me a chance to explain."

“And why do you care to explain to me? We are nothing to each other and you made that very clear when you walked out that door leaving me alone that night.”

“Please.” He begs.

I hesitated for a moment, fighting the urge to slam the door in his face. Finally, I took a step back and let him in.

"All right, Lando.” I muttered, my voice full of resignation. "But I can’t promise that I’ll believe you."

He nodded, silently thanking me for the opportunity. We sat on the couch and stayed silent for a few minutes, me waiting for him to speak and him thinking about what he would say.

“She's not my girlfriend.”

“You've already said that, but those photos show otherwise.”

“They were taken out of context, you know how it is.” I sighed because I knew how his world worked. “Max dragged me to that party and she was a friend of his who yes, hit on me and tried something but I pushed her away.”

“That doesn't change the fact that you broke my heart. That I begged you to stay that night and you simply turned your back on me and ended everything we had or didn't have.” He tried to wipe the tear that fell from my face but I dodged his hand. “And then I open Instagram and see a photo of you with a girl much prettier than me, and then with the writings “Lando Norris and his new girlfriend”, and then I felt like garbage because you wanted a girlfriend, just didn't want it to be me.”

“Don't say that, never say that again.” He holds my face. “You're perfect for me and it's all I want, but I'm an idiot who doesn't deserve your love let alone that you cry over me.”

“If you really think that, why did you leave me?”

“Because I'm a coward, I was afraid of my feelings for you.” He dries my tears. “I've never felt for anyone what I feel for you, and that scared me so I thought it was easier to leave than to say out loud that I love you.”

“What did you say?”

“That I love you and that I'm an idiot for leaving and even more idiotic for leaving it for months until I had the courage to come here.” He sighs. “I admit that the photos were what encouraged me to come, because I didn't want you to think I was with someone after saying I didn't want a relationship with you, even if it was a lie.”

“All right.”

“Do you forgive me?”

“I forgive you, but it still hurts to know that you preferred to run away than to talk to me.”

“I know and I'm sorry for that and I promise to make it up to you.”

“Can you stay? Please?” I asked and he smiled.

“I can stay.” He kisses me and for the first time he really stayed.

Taglist: @sltwins @hiireadstuff @lunaetxc @ssararuffoni @lansmclaren @ushygushybaby @daemyratwst @alymariec @mahhi7 @kaa212 @halaxxxx @ryanandshanearemydads @kapsylia

Guys, the names that have a line on top is because I couldn’t tag

[hanasnx]

❝ incendium. ❞

── stephen glass x reader

MINORS DNI 18+ WORD COUNT: 3.3k SUMMARY: when a lie snowballs out of stephen's control, you swoop in for unorthodox damage control. NOTES: sorry i posted with the wrong title at first | wrote most of this over a year ago, so the style is a bit different, but stick with it trust me | if you say "part two" in the comments, you better come into my inbox with an actual plot or idea that will fit this "au" WARNINGS: f!reader | editor-in-chief!reader | suggestive content including sex and porn mentions so no minors still cos i dont want them on my page ever | deceit | inappropriate contracts.

When you’re the Editor-in-Chief for the biggest magazine of the year, you’ll have a couple thousand rumors spread about you. You wouldn’t pretend that its source wasn’t jealousy that drove poor opinions of you to circle the sandbox. It’s child’s play really, the way sparks of lies catch ablaze to spread like a dry forest’s fire. You’ve always imagined the end of the world to begin and end with a great flood— it was a blue planet after all. With that comforting metaphor, a measly incendium left you unbothered. 

You didn’t have a free moment in your schedule, and it had been like that for months. Being in charge meant shouldering the work of the workers underneath you, and it often meant taking some home with you— work, not workers. Speaking of which, you’d wish you’d find somebody decent to take home. Unfortunately, a relationship really didn’t fit into your hectic calendar. 

It was nice to have a personal assistant. She took care of the unimportant things for you, while you got to work on time and started on your bulleted list in order of priority. Said assistant, Maddy, sat at a desk outside your office, and when she entered to drop off your coffee she picked up, you seized the opportunity to inquire her knowledge on number one on your list. 

Maddy hummed questioningly as you waited, blinking at her over your reading glasses. “Oh!” She clapped her hands together once her memory was jogged. “The New Republic ran something a little detrimental to our brand. Our CEO’s legal team reached out to me to ask you to handle it before they had to step in. The last thing they want is a lawsuit—“ she rambled on and you held up your hand, quieting her. Upturning your palm to invite her to hand you TNR’s piece that supposedly mentioned this company. 

Maddy read your mind, spryly collecting the paper to place in your possession. 

It took seconds for you to scan it, creasing your brows in response to its misinformation. Maddy studied your reaction to its error. For you, this was not a matter of opinion, it was a matter of fact, and required your addressment. 

“Get Chuck on the phone, I want his earliest appointment.”

STEPHEN GLASS moistened his lips as he furiously typed up his latest story, anxious to meet the deadline with a particularly difficult article. His coworker Caitlyn swung in by his door frame. “Yo, Steve, Amy and I wanted to head to the bar after work today. You free?” Caitlyn had figured out the best way to ask him if he wanted to hang out was to put as little pressure on it as possible. He reminded her of a chihuahua…consistently shaken. 

Stephen glanced her way but continued typing. “Yeah? Got it… maybe…” he drawled dreamily, and she concluded he wasn’t entirely listening. 

Inviting herself inside, she slumped into one of his cold, blue, faux leather chairs. “What are you working on anyway?” 

“The Gainsmen piece. I was supposed to have it done already but it got buried.” he responded, eyes glued to the screen as if hypnotized. His hand blindly fumbled for his pen off to the side, like a good friend Caitlyn leaned over to slide the utensil into his fingertips. He banged the end of it against the meat of his thigh, revealing the ink tip so he could scribble some sort of note on his pad, all without ripping his pupils off the growing lines on the monitor. His coworker had never seen him so… intense. To free up his other hand for efficient typing he tucked the staff of the pen in between his lips. 

Stephen had the power to make her worry for him. From what she observed, he was overworked, and spent more time here than he ever did at home when he should be resting. That reasoning eased her into her next question, “You want me to help?” 

A sudden shift in his demeanor, his full attention on her for the first time since she entered his office, raising his brows with a hopeful glint in his dilated pupils. He pinched the pen in his knuckles, balancing the end of it against the corner of his mouth. “Would you?” His disbelief was adorably naive, as if surprised he’d ever receive help… if he deserved it. A smile tugged at Cait’s lips when she nodded, parting them to respond when a slam of a door tore both of their attentions away. 

It was you, the notorious editor of their largest competitor. It had silenced the entire floor, quiet enough to hear your heels click on the thin carpet, and Stephen’s pen drop onto his keyboard. Cait glanced at him as he scrambled to catch it in a failed attempt to prevent its further clattering against the keys. 

Every pair of eyes was on you as you cut through the stations. Your mere presence froze those around you, as if afraid to do something wrong and offend you in some way. At least, some of them anyway. Stephen always thought it was because of how stunning you were. Bone-chillingly authoritative in stockings and a pencil skirt. Behind his glasses his pupils dilated as they scanned from bottom to top, watching you walk further from him through the glass of his office. He gulped, thoughtlessly leaning in his seat to consume every angle of you his limited view from his desk would allow. Caitlyn had faced him again just in time to catch him in the act, and he settled back into his chair as if he hadn’t moved at all. She resisted the urge to flash him a quizzical look as he sheepishly watched himself fiddle with his pen in his lap. 

You did not waver your gaze from your goal, and Chuck had been expecting you. He wore the warmest smile he could muster as he opened his door for you, a headache having come on from the call he received earlier, announcing your scheduled arrival. “Miss (l/n),” he greeted with a nod, and you returned the greeting as he closed the door behind you. The frosted windows left a lot to the imagination of the employees on this floor. Everyone wordlessly agreed to remain reticent in order to eavesdrop on any juicy tidbit they could claw their sleep-deprived hands onto. Not only that, but as if enslaved to their subconscious desires, they shifted closer, gravitating towards Chuck’s office, crudely concealing the way they inclined their ears. 

Stephen’s hands clammed up, and he dropped the pen in between his legs so he could wipe his palms on his pants. He had a feeling he knew what you were here for. 

The conversation inside was indecipherable to the surrounding throng, except for one fragment at the resolution, resounding through the room, causing prying eyes to desperately study your blurred figures in hopes to interpret what kind of violent gestures you punctuated your threat with. 

“I will not be trifled with. My magazine did not tank my first year, it was the year before I was brought on board.” Able to see your arm raise, clutching a fluttering page, and slam it down onto Chuck’s desk. “When I came on I saved that establishment. I’m sick of reading about how the last Editor’s fault was mine! I expected more from The New Republic.” You had straightened. “Let a simple fact like this go unchecked in the future and I’ll poach you. Understand?” 

It was impossible to tell whether or not you waited for Chuck’s response before storming out. Stephen still thought you were as elegant as ever, observing you as you strode to the exit. He had suspected why you were here, and what you said at Chuck’s had confirmed it. You had nipped Chuck for signing off on Stephen’s piece. His mouth ran dry when your gaze landed on him. You didn’t recognize him as the man who wrote what you had come to pontificate on. Instead, you saw a boy in glasses, gawking at you from the seat of his desk as you happened to face him and accidentally make eye contact. 

Stephen had no idea you didn’t know who he was, and that assumption caused him to raise his hand at you to offer you a polite smile and a wave. You acknowledged it to be proper, unfaltering in your traipse. Just as soon as you’d left, the floor reignited, bustling and trucking through paperwork as if you’d never appeared. 

Caitlyn, unaware of Stephen’s current situation, had stood from the chair, and leaned against the back of it as she collected her thoughts, narrowing her eyes at Stephen. “What was that?” she inquired slyly, curious as to why Stephen had greeted you so familiarly. According to Cait’s knowledge, you and Stephen have never formally met, and you weren’t exactly the most accessible person to befriend. Casually greeting you was simply not done, unless it was a peer like Chuck. 

Stephen had returned to his monitor, nervously tapping the pen against the desk surface as the gears in his head turned. “What? You mean the wave?” he affirmed with a smile tugging at his lips, about to tell her the truth of why he did it. 

When you re-entered his mind, he idled, reminiscing on your outfit today. How your hips swayed in your smart pencil skirt, the lines of your stockings at the backs of your legs, the tasteful blouse and how it accentuated your exquisite outline. As a writer, Stephen admired your professional work. As an artist, he agonizingly wished he knew you— inside and out. When Caitlyn demanded an answer, Stephen looked up at her with a bashful snicker. “I mean… okay, alright,” He clasped his hands together, reminding himself how sweaty they were. 

“Go on, Steph, I’m waiting,” Cait said in a playful tone, eager to hear the gossip she knew he would inevitably spill. Her favorite source of entertainment was Stephen: the human embodiment of the overflowing cup. 

He longed to do just that, hanging his head briefly before feigning defeat. “We kissed.” he conceded as if it was reluctantly drawn from him rather than readily supplied as soon as it was conjured. He didn’t know why he said that, it just slipped out.

“Hey, Stephen,” Amy peeked her head in, seemingly oblivious of the nature of the conversation he and Caitlyn just shared, evidenced by Amy’s immediate interest in Cait’s gaping mouth, readjusting against the door frame. “Wait, wait, what did you say? What did I miss?” 

Cait flashed a look at Stephen as if to ask permission to repeat what he’d just spread. Stephen merely smiled childishly, and pinched his fingers together at the corner of his mouth, running across his lips pretending to zip them. Caitlyn got the message, nodding, and mimicking him. 

Amy sighed in playful annoyance, which only caused the other two to grin knowingly. “Whatever. Stephen, Chuck wants to see you in his office.” 

One more quizzical look from Cait, and he reassured her, “It’s probably nothing,” He met Amy’s gaze, “Tell him I’ll be right there, Ames.” 

We kissed. He’d said. We kissed. A lie he couldn’t stop pondering, and it snowballed into expansion. At first it was an innocent kiss, as virtuous as a young white flower. When it was received with such shock and entertainment, Stephen couldn’t help himself. A kiss became a heated make-out session at a company Christmas party he snuck into. A make-out became a regular occurrence when you just couldn’t stay away from him. A regular occurrence became seeing each other. Became experimental oral. 

All until it became dirty fucking on the side using your power as an Editor over him. “What am I gonna do? Say ‘no’ to her? No,” Stephen shook his head and sipped his Colombian coffee from the slit in its lid. “No,” he swallowed, “not to an Editor-in-Chief.” His regaling earned him pats on the back and laughter from those taking it as a joke. No one thought he was in any real danger. It’s not like he worked underneath her— in an employment stance. 

He couldn’t give it up. Cooking was one thing, but earning the respect of those around all because a woman made of ice was supposedly wrapped around his finger was another high entirely. One he couldn’t give up, no matter how immoral. He admired you— immeasurably— and still he let those words run out of his mouth faster than he could stuff them back in. Filthy secrets about what you’re like in bed, how rough you like it, what position is your favorite. It’s not like he could reveal those details without unveiling a little of himself and his fantasies as well. 

He never expected that it’d turn out like this. 

Never expected he’d be summoned to your office. 

“Miss—“ Maddy’s clear voice rings in your ear, interrupting you during your process of scratching your notes into the margin of the text. 

You sigh. “Madeline, if you’re here about Frank’s paternal leave again I’ll be forced to fire that baby myself.” 

She stutters, caught off guard by your sour attitude and poorly-timed joke. “No, Miss, I’m here to announce Mr. Glass’s arrival. I made him wait a few minutes- like you asked.” 

You peer up from your work at Maddy who’s in a straight-and-narrow posture by the door as you gesture incredulously with your hand. “Go ahead, send him in.” She nods, and hastily abides by your notion, fetching him. 

This time you don’t redirect your eyes from your thick pile of papers as you annotate, the nervous footsteps of your anticipated company echoing through your cavernous office. He follows the rug across the long pathway to the chair in front of your desk, taking a seat, and the leather creaks against itself. 

He takes notice of your strategic reticence. “Hi.” his wavering voice is a near whisper. Your script comes to a screeching halt. 

“Mr. Glass,” you reply, “you are a man-in-demand, aren’t you?” You swipe a page to the left, noting at the top right to bookmark it. 

Sheepish, Stephen stutters in his response, lips curled politely up, “I- I suppose so. I suppose I wouldn’t know.” To keep him nervous, you hum, and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Every movement, no matter how minute, creates the leather din that damn-near echoes in your resonate office-space. He waits for you to speak, and when it becomes unbearable he fills the silence. “Is this about your talk with Chuck– er, Charles Lane? Because- about that, if you just listen–” 

At that, your eyes finally flicker up to meet his. “No, Mr. Glass, it is not.” He swallows. It’s becoming increasingly clear why you’re known as cold. It’s an unforgivable atmosphere, and a shiver runs up his spine powerful enough that he takes his hand to rub his own arm to generate warmth. You stand, and he presses his lips into a thin line, watching your every move as you gracefully close the script on your desk with a rare finesse. “You’ve brought a lot of attention to my door, you know that?” Strategically, Stephen remains silent as you leisurely round your desk. His hands begin to clam up again, and he rubs them on his thighs as he stares hard at his lap. A whole new level of intimidation has been reached being this close to you at the center of your focus. He’s unsure how to play this right now, and he finally registers your proximity when out of the corner of his eye he sees you sit on the edge of your desk adjacent to him. Your smooth legs are crossed within arm’s length of him. You fold your arms over your chest, your unwavering gaze making him feel smaller and smaller. Regardless of that, you can tell he’s not going to break. So you increase the pressure. “Have we met before?”

Big, innocent eyes peer up at you, hesitant to face you as he shakes his head marginally. The instinct to question if you’re mad at him dies in his throat. “No, ma’am.” The panic rises in his chest now that he’s denied having met you aloud, but you can’t possibly know about the lies he’s told, can’t prove he told them. Yet when he meets that piercing gaze, there’s a part of him that wants to come clean to you about everything if it means pleasing you. Though there is his job to think about, what would people say about a writer who lies about sexual encounters with the company’s competitor? It can’t be good.

“Is that a fact?” You raise your brows at him, and he nods slowly. “So, can you tell me why others have a different perception on that?”

He shakes his head.

“Mr. Glass, as frustrating as this all has become, you’re not here so I can berate you.” you concede, and at those words he visibly perks up. You reach over, plucking a folder from across your desk that stretches your body out in a specific way that rides your skirt up. Before he knows it, he’s sneaking a glance at the exposed skin of your thigh, how the flesh pushes together. The promiscuous rumors he’s spread about you and his own animal attraction to you has gone to his head because in that very moment he considers how warm and tepid your thighs must be against his ears. His salivating tongue rolls between his lips. He morphs into the posture of a goddamn saint as soon as you slam the folder onto the surface in front of him, he jolts right into it from the sudden noise, as if a chastising ruler had just struck his naughty hands. “I’m prepared to make you an offer.”

“What is this?” The shiny material of the folder falls open, and he inclines forward to read the cover of the thick stack of papers within it.

“An NDR.”

“An NDR? For what?” Stephen plays dumb, but you naturally would assume he’d know nothing about what this deal entails. You give him a silent moment to scan it. Uneasily, as if he’s reading it wrong, he relays the synopsis of one of the passages. “You want… you want to have…”

“Sex.” you reply casually. “You have heard of it?” you joke. “You paint our encounters so colorfully in your little stories, I assumed you were far from a virgin. Or at least well-versed in porn.”

Stephen can feel his throat closing up, shifting in his seat as he engages with you, his mouth in a permanent gaping position, looking for an opportunity to get a word in. “No, no.” He shakes his head, gesturing to himself at his chest. “You don’t understand, I don’t know what you’re talking about- honest!”

“Mr. Glass.” you chide with a playful curl to your lips. Your hands grip the edges of the wood, leaning towards him as if you’re exchanging coy secrets. “Don’t be modest, you’d make a killing in the fictional industry. Whatever are you doing at The New Republic?”

He rallies, sharply inhaling through his nose. “Let me just get out of your hair, and we can forget this whole thing happened—” he pleads, and in an effort to remove himself from the confrontation, he rises from his seat. Your hand gives him a firm push at his chest, planting his ass right back where it belongs.

“Mr. Glass, by all means I’m not keeping you here against your will, but need I remind you: I am not to be trifled with. Forgive me for being indelicate, but why not have the real thing?”

A second of silence passes, and Stephen gulps. You stand, and return to your chair behind your desk. “Think about it.” you tell him, and he takes it as his cue to leave, hastily gathering himself to stride towards the exit. 

[loveesiren]

Doing It All For Us (Pt. 10)

Masterlist

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: Rafe is safe for now, and their crazy kinks come out once again

Warnings: Language, fighting, smut, blood kink, pregnancy

Word Count: 4.4k+

And just like that, your world came crashing down around you.

You swallow hard, trying to comprehend what Rafe has just said to you. He's staring at you, waiting for you to say something but the words just wouldn't come.

Rafe tried to hold back tears. This was it. You were going to leave him. He was going to prison and he would lose you and his baby and everything that brought him any ounce of happiness in his life.

"Y-you...shot..."You muttered. "I-is she dead?"

"I don't know," His voice was barely above a whisper.

You squeeze your eyes shut and take a deep breath. "What happened, exactly, Rafe?" You finally managed.

"She was going to arrest my dad. S-she had the gun pointed at him. I-I had to save him, Y/N." He was crying again.

"What? Why was she arresting your dad?"

"John B said Ward killed his dad."

"What the fuck?" You whisper to yourself as you lean back against the frame of Rafe's bed, leaning your head in your hands.

You knew something had happened when Ward took John B fishing. He had come back with a gaff hook wound on his arm claiming John B attacked him. You really didn't stick around to listen to what happened. You were trying to keep your stress levels down but that obviously wasn't happening anymore.

"Where's your dad?"

"He was still at the tarmac. He told me to bring Sarah home. She saw everything..."

"Shit."

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I fucked up. I panicked, I didn't want my dad to get hurt and I-"

"Shh, baby. I know." You tell him, pulling his face to yours. "I know."

"A-are gonna leave me?" His voice was so pitiful, cracking as he spoke. The sound broke your heart.

"No. I told you, Rafe. Forever. You and me against the world." You told him before pressing your lips to his.

He brought his hands up, tangling his fingers in your hair as he pulled you deeper into the kiss. He couldn't believe it. The fact that you were still here. Still here after he just made the biggest mistake of his life. One that could land him in a jail cell forever.

"Listen to me," You told him as you pulled away. You were way more calm than you should have been, but seeing Rafe freak out somehow helped you to keep your head on straight. "We need to talk to Ward. Find out what happened after you left the tarmac."

Rafe nods between your hands. "Okay."

"We'll figure something out, okay?"

"I-I can't lose you and our baby."

"You won't. I promise you you won't."

-

You and Rafe sat silently in Ward's office as you waited for him to return home. Rafe looked over old photos and awards hung up on the walls, smiling as he ran his fingers over a photo of him and his father.

You watch him sadly. The hold Ward had over him. Rafe just wanted to be accepted and the lack of love Ward had given him has now landed him in the worst possible situation.

Rafe sat down beside you with the picture.

"You look so handsome," You tell him, resting your chin on his shoulder.

He smiles at you. He always blushed when you called him handsome.

Ward walks in the room and your stomach drops. He stares at you both for a moment before sighing and closing the door. You're trying your best to remain calm but your head was flooded with anxiety. Flooded with thoughts of all the worst possible outcomes.

"Is...she alive?" Rafe asks.

Ward shakes his head.

"No?"

"No."

You clench your jaw and take in a deep breath.

"Okay," Rafe said, trying to calm himself as he could feel the anxiety return to his body. "Okay."

You place a hand on Rafe's bicep, rubbing his skin lightly to try and calm him down.

"What did you tell the cops? Are they coming here?" Rafe asks.

Ward walks to his desk, pouring himself a glass of whiskey before responding. "I told them John B did it."

"Told 'em John B did it..." Rafe repeated his father's words, pondering the idea. "That's good. Yes, that could work!"

You bit your lip as you watched Rafe start to get manic.

"Rafe. I need you to go to your room. Take a shower okay? Get cleaned up. If anyone asks, you were here all day okay? You were doing maintenance on The Druthers." Ward says, glancing to you. You nod your head in agreement.

"No. No, Rose knows I wasn't here." Rafe argued.

"I will talk to Rose."

"What-what about Sarah?" Rafe asks, standing up now.

"What about Sarah?" Ward asks.

"Sarah, listen, Sarah has a big mouth okay?"

"You're sister isn't going to do anything to hurt us."

"No, no, no you didn't see her in the car okay? She was freaking out!" Rafe argues back. You could hear the stress in his voice. "I have a suggestion-"

"Rafe! Stop it! I don't need your help. I didn't need it then and I don't need it now. I just need to think! So please, go clean up!" Ward was yelling now. You could see the pain on Rafe's face.

"You understand, right? Rafe said sadly. "You understand?"

"Understand what, Rafe?"

"Why I did it."

You sat silently, biting back tears. Ward turned to look at Rafe once again.

"You were in trouble and I was protecting you. Okay? Me, dad. Rafe. Not Sarah, okay? It was me!"

You couldn't help but cry now as you watched tears spill from his eyes. This wasn't his fault. You couldn't blame him for what he did. He was so broken.

Rafe backed away as Ward walked towards him. "Sorry," Rafe said softly, nervous of what his dad was going to do next.

Ward slowly pulled Rafe to him. "I know, come here. Come on, come on, bud."

You watched Rafe's face. He was shocked at the fact that his dad was hugging him. But he hugged him back tightly.

"Come on, bud, I'm sorry. I love you. I love you, Rafe. So much."

Rafe smiled at his dad's words. You couldn't help but watch them with sorrow in your eyes. The way his father's approval made him glow. How could Ward not see how special his son was?

"Listen, everything is going to be okay. We will figure it out." Ward promises.

You stand up and grab Rafe's hand. He wraps his arms around you tightly.

"Y/N-" Ward begins.

"Maintenance on The Druthers." You nod. "I'm all in."

Ward offers a sad smile. He's obviously upset that the three of you were now involved in this mess. But he was going to protect his son at all costs and make sure he gets the chance to be a father himself.

-

You and Rafe move in silence. The events of the day heavy on your mind. He pulls you into the shower with him and the two of you just stand there holding each other as you let the warm water wash away your worries.

The feeling of his skin on yours had you crying silently. You don't know what you'd do without him. He trailed the tips of his fingers over your spine and you drag your acrylics up and down his back.

Rafe moved a hand to your stomach, brushing over it softly. You didn't need to speak. Neither of you did. You could feel how much Rafe loved you and your unborn child. You clung to him tightly, reminding him you were still there. That you and Wolf were still there.

Rafe turned the shower off and wrapped you up in a towel, drying you off before he grabbed your favorite lotion and made sure he rubbed it over every inch of your body. You melted under his touch. The way his fingers traced the contours of your skin. The way he worshipped every part of your body, placing kisses all along your limbs.

He scooped you up and carried you to his bed. He went to his dresser and pulled out a shirt for you to wear. You slid it on, clutching the fabric tightly because it smelled like him.

He pulled on some boxers and climbed into bed beside you before grabbing his remote and flipping through the horror movie section.

He decided on Sinister, knowing it was one of your favorites. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. You snaked your legs between his and clung to him like a Boa Constrictor.

He ran his fingers through your wet hair as you concentrated on your movie. He never cared for horror, but he loved watching you get so focused. He worked on detangling each knot in your hair, silently praying that everything would turn out okay. He'd just murdered someone today. A cop. The Sheriff. And somehow, you were still here in his arms.

"You're with a murderer." Rafe whispered against your forehead. The guilt was starting to set in.

"I'm with Rafe Cameron." You responded. "A man that protects what he loves at all costs."

You could feel his tears fall on your face as he hugged your closer.

"Me and Wolf will always be safe with you." You reassured him. And it was true. Rafe loves with his whole heart. If he could get past your flaws you could get past his. He killed someone, yes, but to protect his father. You know he'd kill for you and his baby too.

You felt 100% safe wrapped up in Rafe's arms. Nothing would take you from him.

-

You woke up early. A lot earlier than Rafe. You crawled out of bed and pulled on your jeans. You placed a kiss on Rafe's forehead before sneaking out of his room, desperate for some food. The baby was hungry to say the least.

You could hear Ward and Sarah talking down the hall. You stood outside Sarah's room and listened.

"He shot her!"

"You have to pick between John B or your family!" Ward responded. "Nothing is going to happen to Rafe."

Ward walked out of her room, closing the door and locking it. He spotted you, giving you a look of concern.

"Let me out!" You could hear Sarah pound on the door.

"Why are you locking her in there?" Wheezie asked as she rounded the corner.

"Listen, there was an accident and your sister is very upset so we need to give her some time to calm down." Ward told her.

"Did something happen to the baby?" Wheezie asked, turning to you.

"No!" You told her. "The baby, is just fine, Wheeze." You smile at her. "Let's go have breakfast, yeah?" You ask her, leading her downstairs. You glance back at Ward with a warning look. Telling him he needs to get Sarah under control.

You and Wheezie sit at the kitchen table, nibbling on bacon and talking about the boys in her class.

Rafe rushes into the kitchen. He'd managed to put on sweats but no shirt. He lets out a sigh of relief when he sees you.

"Baby, where'd you go?"

"I'm having breakfast with Wheezie," You say, pulling him in for a kiss. "Baby was hungry."

He sits beside you, wrapping an arm around your stomach and the other around your neck. You offer him a piece of bacon and he takes it in one bite.

"Ew, do I have to be like you guys when I start dating?" Wheezie scoffs.

"You're not dating anyone, Wheeze." Rafe snaps.

You chuckle. "No. Never let a boy do something you're uncomfortable with."

Rafe was nuzzling into your neck now, placing wet kisses along your skin.

"Yuck," Wheezie scoffs. "I hope guys aren't like this."

"They are!" Rafe shouts as Wheezie gets up and walks away. "No boys!"

"You know, being all over me like this is gonna have her thinking all guys are like this." You scold.

"They are."

"Maybe at our age, but not at hers."

"No boys."

You roll your eyes as Rafe lays his head in your lap and wraps his arms around your waist, kissing your belly.

"Rafe, this is the kitchen," Rose scolds as she walks in the room.

Rafe groans and leans up. You laugh and go back to eating your breakfast, feeding Rafe some as well as he still keeps his hands on your stomach.

"They're looking for John B." Ward states as he walks in the kitchen. You and Rafe both look up. "There's a reward out for him. $25,000."

You smile. The island was buying it. John B killed Peterkin. Rafe was safe.

Rose knew. She knew Rafe had done it. But she'd never do anything to rat out this family. Especially since Rafe was going to be a father.

You and Rose had actually gotten quite close. She had a miscarriage at a young age. It was hard. But she was more than happy that you were pregnant and she was dead set on making sure you were eating good and taking care of yourself.

She loved her step children like her own. But Rafe was crazy, Sarah wanted to be a Pogue, and Wheezie spent a lot of time on TikTok. But you always gave Rose the time of day. You liked helping her water her flowers and discussing baby stuff and preparing dinner.

-

John B was almost caught the night prior when you, Rafe, and Kelce tried to smoke out the bell tower. But Topper chose to pick his undying love for Sarah and let John B and Sarah get away.

You had found Rafe outside in the morning, starting up his bike and talking to himself.

"Baby, what's going on?" You asked him, forcing him to calm down and look at you.

"Stay here, Y/N!" Rafe snapped at you before hopping on his bike and riding off.

Oh fuck no.

You ran inside and grabbed the keys to his truck. You hopped in, backing out of the driveway quickly. It wasn't long before you spotted Rafe. You slowed down, trailing behind a bit so he wouldn't notice you. You watched as he pulled into Barry's house.

"Goddammit." You muttered to yourself. You were not wanting to see Barry after what happened a month and a half ago. You were in your second trimester now. Pulling into this house gave you anxiety.

You park the truck and sigh. Finally pulling yourself out of the vehicle and heading inside.

"I'm 100% fucked man!" You heard Rafe yell.

"What the fuck is happening?" You ask as you swing open the screen door.

"Y/N," Rafe said. "Why the fuck are you here?!"

"Don't fucking snap at me, Rafe!"

Rafe shut his mouth. You scoffed and went and sat on Barry's couch.

"Look, how long do you think it's gonna take for them to find John B?" Barry asked. "And when they find him, he's gonna start snitchin'."

"You know it was John B that stole that 25k from you right?"

"Exactly my point, Country Club. The hammer's comin' down on them Pogues."

"Let's go get your fuckin' money then." You say, standing up from the couch.

"Y/N-" Rafe starts.

"Rafe, I swear to God, I will knock your ass out." Your hormones were making themselves known.

"I don't got time for you two to argue. Let's go!" Barry yells.

Rafe glances at you and you give him a stern look back before following him outside. He gives you his helmet as you climb on the back of his bike and wrap your arms tightly around him.

After riding around for a bit you stopped at an intersection as you watched a ton of cop cars drive by. "Shit, they're looking for him." You mutter.

"Yo, is that Kie?" Rafe asks as you see a familiar SUV drive past.

"There goes that lil bitch ass now!" Barry said and you all kicked off and followed Kie's car.

You all hopped off the bikes as you pulled up to an old garage. "Alright you two go around that way and I'll take 'em from over there." Barry says, directing you where to go. You nod and follow Rafe.

"Hey, there. What's goin' on? How you guys doing?" Rafe says as he enters the garage and walks towards Kiara. You stand off to the side and cross your arms, eyeing their movements as Barry holds a gun up to JJ.

God you wished you could fucking fight.

Barry took JJ down easily and you watched Rafe drag Kiara away. "It's not you we want, Kie, okay? Where's John B?"

"I don't know!" She screamed as she slapped him hard across the face.

You started forward, it took everything in you not to attack her.

"I know what you did! You murdered Peterkin!" Kiara yelled at him.

Shit. She knew. John B must have told her. You were too distracted by Kiara and Rafe to notice Pope sneak up behind you and hit you in the back of the knee with a tire iron.

You let out a loud cry as you feel to the floor, catching yourself just before your stomach made contact with the cement.

"Y/N!" Rafe yelled, but before he could get to you, Pope was hitting him.

JJ had tripped Barry, causing him to drop his gun and Kiara was quick to grab it, pointing it at you as you looked up at her from the ground.

You clenched your jaw angrily as you held your hands up in surrender.

"Don't touch her!" You could hear Rafe yell, trying to fight off Pope. "She's fucking pregnant, please! Please don't hurt her!"

Kiara's eyes went wide as she lowered the gun. "Pope, Pope! He's had enough dude!" JJ was yelling, trying to get Pope to release his grip on the cord wrapped around Rafe's neck.

"Rafe!" You cried, trying to get to your feet but the searing pain in your leg was preventing you from doing so.

"Pope, look at me!" Kiara screamed, finally getting Pope's attention as he let go of his hold on your boyfriend. "Come on, we gotta get out of here!"

You were crying now, crawling over to where Rafe was laying covered in blood. "Rafe, baby, are you okay?" You asked, holding his face in your hands.

He was breathing heavily and coughing, pulling you close to him. He clung to you, trying to catch his breath, placing a protective hand over your belly.

"I'm okay, Rafe. I promise." You tell him, cradling his head. "I'm okay."

After a few minutes, Rafe's finally able to sit up. "Where'd he hit you?" He asked.

"In the back of the leg. He didn't hit the baby. I promise." You reassure him.

"He's fucking dead."

"We'll get them, Rafe. Right now we gotta make a plan." You glance over to where Barry was picking himself up off the ground. "You good, Barry?"

"Yup!" Barry groans as he stands up and walks over to help Rafe up.

Rafe helped you up and wrapping his arm around your waist as you limped beside him, leading you out to the bikes. Rafe sat down and you wedged yourself between his legs as you looked over his injuries.

"Sheriff Peterkin, huh?" Barry laughed. "You're better than I thought, Country Club!"

You shoot daggers at Barry and he shuts up. You could tell he wanted to say some dumb shit but he bit it back.

"Look, we're gonna get John B, aight? I'll be in touch." Barry says before walking off towards his bike.

"Hey, baby, look at me." You say, taking Rafe's face between your hands and forcing him to make eye contact. You could tell he was on the verge of a break down.

"I let you get hurt. I put you in danger. I put our baby in danger." He said as he bit back tears.

"No you didn't Rafe. I'm the one who wanted to come. I was the one not paying attention."

"I'm supposed to protect you." He leans his head on your shoulder, pulling you closer by your belt loops.

"Rafey, you do. Shit happens sometimes."

He shakes his head.

"Hey, look at me!" You say again, forcing his head up. You bit your lip as you looked at him. The blood coating his skin did things to you. You wrapped your fingers through his hair at the base of his neck and pulled his head back. You ran your tongue up his neck to his chin, licking off the fresh blood that dripped from his wound.

You heard him groan at the sensation, tightening his grips on your hips as his shorts tightened.

You pressed your lips to his, letting your tongue slip into his mouth as you enjoyed the metallic taste that lingered there.

"Take me home, Rafe." You whispers against his lips.

-

Rafe pulled into your driveway and helped you off the bike. You'd been staying at the Cameron's for so long you were happy to be home.

You also didn't want to walk into Tannyhill bloody and limping, knowing there would be a plethora of questions about what happened.

You limped to your front door and fiddled with your keys.

"Baby, let me help you." Rafe says, taking your keys from you and helping you stand up.

Once you were inside Rafe picked you up and carried you to the couch. You both groaned in pain as you sat down.

"Do you feel okay?" Rafe asks.

"Yeah, baby. Are you okay?" You run your hand over the bruising on his face. He nods. "Take your shirt off."

He does as he's told and you examine the bruises forming on his back from where Pope had hit him with the tire iron. He winced in pain as you lightly pressed his skin.

"Sorry baby..." You said.

"It's okay," He mumbles. You bite your lip as your eyes scan his body. The bruising, the blood. You hated seeing him hurt but it fucking turned you on. "What?" He asks with a smirk.

You suddenly felt shy. You felt your cheeks blush as you smile up at your boyfriend. "Tell me what you need, princess," His voice was low as he smiled and moved on top of you, placing soft kisses on your neck.

Your breath hitched at the sensation. "You want my blood, huh, pretty girl?"

"Mhmm," You moan.

Rafe grabs your jaw, forcing your mouth open. You stick out your tongue as he lets his bloody saliva slip from his lips to yours. "Swallow." He demands and you happily oblige. You could feel the warmth at your core. "Good girl."

Rafe tugs at your shirt, pulling it off over your head, leaving you exposed to him. He brings his lips to your collar bone and sucks at your skin, surely leaving bruises.

"Fuck, Rafe..." You breathe.

He brings his hands to your breasts and massages roughly, flicking your nipple between his fingers and you could feel your need for him growing between your legs.

He left a trail of blood and bruises as he sucked and bit his way down your body. He stops at your stomach, placing a gentle kiss on the small bump starting to form. "You're so amazing," He whispers against your skin. "Carrying our baby."

You smile down at him lovingly, running your fingers through his shaggy hair. You watch as he unbuttons your shorts and slides them down your legs along with your panties. "I'm gonna make you feel so good, mama." He whispers, trailing bloody kisses up and down your thighs.

You gasp as he runs his tongue up the length of your core. He gets to work, circling your clit with his tongue. He pushes two fingers inside you and curls, hitting you in just the right spot as he pumps them in and out of you.

"Oh my - Rafe, fuck!" You cry, reaching your hands back to grip the top of the couch as you tried to steady yourself. Wrapping your legs around his head, you're sure he's suffocating but he just seems hungrier.

You could feel the knot form in the pit of your stomach as he flicked his tongue over your clit just right. He looked up and smiled as he watched you come undone. "Cum for me, baby girl."

The vibration of his words against your most sensitive area sent you over the edge. You couldn't control the way your legs shook as squirted in Rafe's mouth. He didn't stop, swallowing everything you offered him and licking you clean, sending you into overstimulation.

You laid speechless, trying to catch your breath. Rafe looked up at you with a shit eating grin, proud of himself for making you feel so good. Knowing he's the only one that's ever made you feel that good.

He crawled back on top of you, picking you up by they hips and laying you down on the couch beneath him. He sat up, quickly undoing his belt and shorts. You watched him, still trying to catch your breath from the intense orgasm you just experienced.

"You're my girl, you know that?" He asked you, grabbing your legs and pulling you towards him. He leaned over, lips hovering above yours as he lined himself up at your entrance. "My girl. Carrying my baby. Yeah?"

He was being possessive. Dominant. His eyes were crazy and you melted under his spell. "Yours." You promised.

He wrapped his fingers in your hair, cradling your head as he pressed his forehead to you. "My family..." He whispered, pushing into you slowly, allowing you to adjust to his size. "Mine."

You moaned, digging your nails into his shoulders. "I'm yours, Rafe. I'll always belong to you."

He groans into your neck as he pulls out and thrusts into you again. "Say it again,"

"I belong to you, Rafe Cameron."

He looks into your eyes as he thrusts into you harder. Small whimpers escape your lips as you stare back at him. The feeling of him inside you made you want to cry. Not in a way that it hurt, no. In the way that this was the closest you could possibly be and it still wasn't enough. The way he made your entire body tingle. The way the two of you fit together like a puzzle. It was the fact that you both knew you would absolutely die without each other. Like the world would simply stop turning if you were apart. And it was the way the love you had for one another created something new. The life growing inside you, belonged to you and Rafe and it was sacred. Something you would protect at all costs.

You didn't realize you actually were crying until Rafe's tears fell on your face. You were both crying silently as he continued to make love to you. The feeling of him sliding against your inner walls was pure ecstasy and you could feel yourself reaching your high once again.

You wrapped your legs tighter around his waist and pulled him into you. You felt his cock twitch as he spilled inside of you, your walls pulsating around him as you came too.

You both sat silently, trying to catch your breath and stop crying. Rafe cupped your cheek and placed a kiss gently on your lips before pulling out of you and rolling to your side, pulling you tightly against his chest. You were both overwhelmed with emotion. You laced your fingers between his and brought his hand to your lips, kissing his skin softly.

"I love you forever," You whisper before drifting off to sleep.

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged! :)

@outerbankspov @torturedtypewritersdept

[cupofwyn]

⌕ — may i have this dance? ( teaser ) *now out!*

lee jeno!prince x f!reader. it was all self-inflicted pressure when the spotlight finally turned to you as the final member of the family to experience a love story—the miracle that has been passed down from your parents down to your siblings and the privilege of love in marriage that has been jealoused upon the ton of high society. though the world might have run out of love stories available for you when your family took it all to their delight, or so you thought.

genre/s. fluff. a tinge of comedy. bridgerton period. rofan.

warning/s. profanity. little to inaccurate representations of the regency era (as im not literate about it). would add more in the actual fic.

wc/s. 0.5k (oneshot - 4k or more)

a/n. hello there! this is my first fic for nct dream. the thought process on how i decided to make this fic was "doesn't jeno really suit the fanciness of the regency era?" and THEN i remembered the after-party jeno on his milan fashion week (he looked heavenly) then tada 🎉 this happened. ty and enjoy reading :>>>

Love. The most privileged thing a person could ever obtain in one's life in this vicious society.

Romance and union are never the norm when it comes to marital circles, but rather, this was quite the opposite for your family.

Your father and mother, the most known influential couple in their respective social circles and political surges, may have been arranged for a political marriage but soon grew fond of each other throughout the years being husband and wife.

A solace love that caverns in one's security and vulnerability. Sometimes truly vomiting when you'd see their very affectionate and loving gestures they shared.

Then the firstborn, your oldest sister, has come to truly be entranced to the magic of love, which I'd say, she was a wizard of turning a stern duke's son into a doting husband.

Her's was a love at first sight in her first debutante ball with the known cold-hearted son of a duke—a dashing and intense man on the outside, and yet your sister surprisingly speaks of him in a different light when she would gush of him, with cheeks the pinkest of pinks.

Next, your first older brother. A man with no virtues and is uncommitting suddenly introduces his fiancée once in our family bondings in the private drawing room, his facial expressions changed and body language softened up in the presence of the woman next to him—the baron's illegitimate daughter from the outskirts of the kingdom, who he had been secretly sending letters from each day.

No wonder he became much more behaved the past few months to save mother's swooning to this event.

Even your most aggravating second older brother has a potential love story written just for him. A childhood friend who lives across the street to which they are clearly in love with each other but remains to be oblivious to their obvious arrow-shooting gazes every time they see the other. Their push and pull plays are only but a headache to the outsiders and annoyingly intensifies their yearning for each other.

And lastly comes you, a shut-in daughter of marquis, who just debuted tonight and has yet to unfold their own love story—or not.

There is no arranged marriage prepared for you by the marquess and the marchioness, nor a love at first sight in this debutante ball with a callous man who is in fact the opposite when it came to you, a controversial love story with an illegitimate child of a noble, neither a foundation of friendship with a man to which turns into a realization of their attachment to them.

None! It seemed like the world ran out of love stories to write when it came to you since your family has snatched them all.

Until tonight.

"Why don't you say we plan to forge an alliance? I will offer you a dance on the next song—you'll be the subject of curiosity, and the next morning, you'll be flooded with marriage proposals from different suitors, possibly earning you a love match in return."

"How does an offer from you really make that situation possibly happen? Unless you're someone distinguishable, which possibly you're not since I don't recognize you, being the most handsome and attractive man I've seen at most could not possibly mean a thing. Or..." You trailed off.

"Or what?" he gulped.

"You're one of the princes."

"Pfft, what? No—but! This face is enough to attract attention. I promise. And I can't hasten more. My chaperone is possibly on the hunt for blood right now, and I've been hiding from him too long. Are you in this or not?"

"Fine... deal. This better work, Lord...?"

He grins, eyes turning into the most charming shape of crescent moon, and lips upturned in a reassuring feat.

"Lord Lee. Jeno Lee, milady." he answered.

i hope you liked this teaser! if you're interested to be updated on this fic once it's published, don't hesitate to reblog/comment to be added to the taglist. see you soon ^^

© written by CUPOFWYN . 2024

[gojos-fr-bae]

Liar pt.3

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Pairing: Gojo x fem!eader

Warnings: Pregnancy, sososos saaaaaad, ands, fluff, drinnking, I LOVE Kouki

Word Count: 1k (not them getting shorter)

A/N: BOO! Didin't see this coming huh? Me neither tbh but i didn't go to school yesterday and boredom was kiiling me sooo.....

Month 5

Satrou (I swear we'll see y/n and Kouki this time, allow me this once)

As Satoru slowly awoke from his restless sleep, unbearable nausea overcame him as he threw his bearley living body to his toilet, regurgitating meals he has no memory of even eating. His mouth burned as he vomited bile, burning his tongue.

He had lost his will to live but life refused to let him go. He forced himself to get up, get ready, and prepare himself for the copious amounts of bullshit he would have to deal with throughout whatever amount of time he is able to remain conscious. 

As he sat under a tree, ungodly amounts of booze already flowing through his system, he watched his students train on the plain before him.

He felt the grass beside him shuffle, the scent of surgical spirit and smoke flooding his senses.

“Hey idiot,” Shoko said, her raspy voice barely reaching his ears.

She turned to face her former classmate as he sat there, silent with a stoic face.

“Are you seriously planning on staying boring forever?”

No Answer

Shoko Sighed as she looked at her friend. Ever since you left he had never been the same. It pained her to see the bubbliest, happiest person she has ever known in such a state. It was worlds worse than when they lost Suguru and she couldn’t help but feel for the guy. She placed her hand on his shoulder and rubbed it slowly, facing him as he stared at nothing.

“Please take care of yourself, and slow down with the drinking, you’re cooking yourself.” she said with a softness that was rare to hear from her.

The doctor rose from her seat and looked down at Satoru, he’ll be okay. Sha’s praying for him to be okay.

Year 1 

Y/N

You woke up and immediately ran to your son’s room, excitement having seeped into every bone in your body .When you walked in and saw you ray of sunshine kneeling against the edge of his crib, bright gummy smile with four front teeth showing and you felt like you were about to EXPLODE.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVEEEEYYYYYY!!!!!!!!” You screamed, picking him up and squeezing him to your chest.

His giggles filled the room and you peppered kisses all over his face. You took him to the living room as he clutched the shirt you were wearing. You walked him to the small living room of your quaint apartment, showing him the cake you stayed up all night baking. You laughed as he put his hand on the cake, smearing it all over his face in an attempt to eat it.

You looked at your son and you felt the love spillover as you couldn't help but tear up at the thought that your precious little angel was growing up. You were so, so proud. But the happiness was slightly soured by the fact that you would have to raise him without his father. You thought about Satoru and where he was right now. From what Megumi had told you, he had taken your disappearance har but he couldn’t really tell you more as Satoru and Megumi barely even saw each other seeing as Satoru buries himself in his work now.

You never hated him and never wished anything bad upon him, but you couldn’t help but miss what you shared, yet when you looked down at your cooing baby, you thought about his future and knew you had done what was best for him. You hope so.

Satoru

Gojo sat in the unoccupied nursery with a blue frosted cupcake in his hands and a number 1 lit candle. He had made sure that he was sober throughout the entire day and night prior just for this occasion. He looked down at the empty crib and pictured you and your child celebrating his first birthday, perfectly happy. 

Without him. 

For all he knew you had moved on to someone else and his child had a loving father taking care of him. Hisalready shattered heart only broke more and yet he was so happy and excited and proud that his son was already a year old.Although he wasn't there to witness it, it still filled him with such innocent joy.

“Happy birthday my love,” He whispered, a lone tear cascading down his cheek.”I love you.”

Year 2

Y/N

You were seated at your desk at 11pm, looking down at all the bills that needed payment by the end of the month. Rent, water, electricity, you need to buy food, clothes, new shoes for Kouki, and on top of all of this, he was meant to start school in September which was only a month away and you aren't sure how you were going to make all these payments on time seeing as your job didn’t pay you enough to handle it.

“Mommy?” you heard a soft voice call at the entrance of the office. At your door stood your precious kikufuku dressed in his kitty onesie and blue and white monkey plushie being dragged on the ground behind him as he held it loosely.

“Baby, what are you doing awake?” you cooed as he waddled towards you and raised his arms as a sign for you to carry him. 

You and your son were extremely attached to each other not only because you were his only parent (technically) but because you worked as customer care you were able to work from home, meaning you two were together 24/7 and it showed.

You placed him on your lap and he immediately snuggled as close to you as possible.

“Sweepy,” he murmured, already falling asleep in your arms.

You looked down at him, kissing his forehead as you realized that you might not be able to give him a life that he deserves. 

But you would, If you went back to teaching.

You didn’t want to get yourself involved with what happened right after his birth again but you needed him to have the best life possible. And if that meant you needed to go back, you had no choice. You had to do it for him.

But at what cost?

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Hope this is good😭🏃🏿‍♀️

Also, Thank you to EVERYONE forthe support, almost at 100 followersssss!!!!! Much love❤️❤️

@porridgesblog , @giannitaa , @c0pkiller , @havens-not-here

© gojos-fr-bae

[nackrosor]

Gale Dekarios x Tav

1,1 k. - Gale comforts you after an emotional breakdown | hurt/comfort, fluff, established relationship

a.n: I wrote this solely because I needed to give myself a hug. But then I thought there could be someone else struggling with depression/anxiety/ecc who needs to feel loved and would like Gale to comfort them, so I'm sharing this for you ♡

You trembled against him, your hands desperately clutching onto his robe as he drew you into his lap and embraced you.

"I'm exhausted." you admitted with a weary sigh. "I can't take this anymore."

Everything was catching up to you; the storm outside, the terrible memories flooding back into your mind, the exhaustion of having to fight off those dark thoughts for so long. And it was all beginning to drain you. Keeping your troubles hidden from your lover had also been particurarly grueling. You wished you hadn't but you were scared he would abandon you.

Gale gently pressed his lips against your forehead as he held you close to his chest, his warmth enveloping you whole.

"I know, my sweet," he whispered in a soft voice, one that despite his attempts was full of concern, "just let me hold you for now, alright...? Try to quiet your mind for awhile. I'll help you through this."

"Why?" you simply asked him, your voice so vulnerable and earnest as it was subdued. You took a deep breath, soaking in his scent as you unconsciously nuzzled closer into him, clinging onto his robe with both your hands, holding on so tight that your fingertips turned white.

"Why would you stay by my side? Especially after everything I've just told you..."

That simple question was enough to take his breath away. He knew it was reasonable of you to wonder about that, since the emotional breakdown you had just gone through had left you in a poor mental state, and mostly in need of reassurance. He was more than ready to give you just that. However, it didn't make your question nor his answer any less powerful.

His fingers ran through your hair, his warm breath brushing the shell of your ear as he snuggled you closer.

"Because you are a sweet, compassionate, and bright soul who deserves someone to hold you when life's storms hit. Because your pain becomes mine when yours is as deep as it is and our bond is as profound. Because you ought to be happy, and I want to be a part of your life to assist you and ensure that you reach such happiness. Ideally, even be the source of your joy."

His words caused your heart to swell with pure affection. You raised your head from his chest, your touched gaze meeting his. Your hand reached out to tenderly graze his jaw as a faint smile finally bloomed on your face.

He melted at the sight of it, and his eyes lit up with some relief. He'd had enough of your tear-stained face, more so after learning the cause of your weeping. You were always a vision in his eyes, yes... But your stunning smiling face held his heart in a vice. He would gladly allow you to maintain such control over it if it meant he could always see you happy. Tears of joy may flow, but not of anguish.

"You like... Broken things, don't you?" you asked him softly, a hint of amusement in your otherwise genuine tone.

Gale gently took your hand in his and pressed it against his lips, placing a tender peck on the center of your palm.

"The only broken thing about you is your heart, my sweet," he replied softly. "And who wouldn't want to mend one of the most valuable things in this world? I am lucky to have found such a rare jewel, even if its shine isn't at its brightest right now." His eyes twinkled with a hint of playfulness as he added, "Little bit of elbow grease and you'll shine brighter than the sun, just like you were meant to."

His answer genuinely moved you, warming your heart and eliciting a soft chuckle out of your lips. The more time you spent with him, cocooned in his arms, heartened by his words of praise and reassurance and unconditional affection, the more convinced you were that he could, in fact, heal your heart if you allowed him. The way he had been listening to you, comforting you and reaffirming his place by your side when you were at your lowest had only reinforced such thoughts... along with your feelings towards him.

"Oh, Gale..." you cooed softly, placing your hand on his cheek yet again to gently cradle it. As you gazed up at him, your eyes shone with admiration, hope, and gratitude. "You're truly one of a kind."

The playfulness in his look vanished in an instant, his eyes softening at the praise. He felt the warmth of your palm on his cheek, and he leaned into your touch. A tender smile grazed his lips as he took a moment to study your fond gaze. You looked just as taken with him as he was with you; the realization made his heart full.

"And you're nothing short of a miracle, my little sunbeam." His smile grew even wider and warmer as he beamed at you. He brushed his fingers against your spine in a soothing circular pattern, pressing you even closer to him, while looking down into your eyes as if you were the only thing in the universe besides him. The only thing that truly mattered, anyway.

"The world is a better place because you're in it, and I mean that more than anything else."

Your jaw tensed as his words pierced your heart, causing your eyes to well up with fresh tears. Your hand on his cheek stilled, your chest felt tight, swelling with devotion.

You didn't know what to say. No one had ever spoken such lovely words to you, or made you feel so loved, valued, and treasured. This was truly foreign to you. You could only stare up at him in awe, your heart racing, your stomach turned into a nestle for a swarm of butterflies.

"Gale..."

The wizard felt his throat tighten with emotion. The moment was so beautiful, so pure, that it nearly left him breathless. Every fiber of his being vibrated with pure raw affection for you.

His touch was gentle as he brushed his thumb against your cheek to wipe away a stray tear. Then he leaned forward and planted a gentle kiss on your forehead while his arms securely wrapped around your frame, encircling your waist.

He took a deep breath and smiled.

"I love you, my dearest. I'll always love you."

You could feel your heart nearly burst in your chest. A faint sob escaped your trembling lips as you leaned in to rest your forehead against his, your palm on his chest, right above his heart.

"I love you too." you managed to whisper despite the rasp within your voice. "So much..."

Every ounce of emotion that had been threatening to overwhelm him erupted in that very moment, and he found himself clutching you harder against him, kissing the crown of your head over and over again.

There were no words. No poems or sonnets that could adequately capture that moment, the connection he felt to you.

His voice was thick and breathy when he spoke again. 

"We'll face every storm together, and our love will always see us through to the other side.... I promise."

MORE STORIES 🥀

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[jimsbeetroot]

Hello 🖤 I saw your fics and couldn't pass by. I wish you inspiration and further progress in writing ❤ Can I get a fluff fic in wich the Reader brought a kitten home while Chris was on tour? 🥺 And when Chris returned home, the kitten was the first to meet him. I don't know why it came to my mind 🤔

𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐞 ♱ 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐡𝐧

-

Usually when people decided to adopt a pet, they go for a little puppy, or perhaps a cute little kitten.

You found it quite sad. There were hundreds of animals looking for a home each day, and if it wasn’t for the fact, that it had rained like crazy that day, you hadn’t seen little Monroe. If it wasn’t because your car had broken down on the way home from work, you wouldn’t have walked past the animal shelter.

You were so glad, that you did.

The second you laid your eyes on that beautiful, black and white cat, your heart melted completely.

The way she was staring at you, almost as if she was pleading for you to just take her home. You couldn’t bear it, and before you knew it, you were walking out of the animal shelter, Monroe placed neatly inside your coat.

Now, all of that would’ve been great, if it hadn’t been for the fact that you were bringing this cat home, to a house that wasn’t yours alone.

Chris was coming home soon. He’d been gone for months, touring with Slipknot; and well, you’d gotten lonely. Anyone would.

He wouldn’t be mad, you thought.

Chris didn’t really get mad. Surprised maybe, but not mad. Hopefully not.

Monroe purred as you scratched her head, leaning into your fingers as if she was begging for more. You’d put a tiny bow in her hair, because finally; Chris was coming home.

You’d waited to see his face for too long, and finally; the day had arrived.

You couldn’t quite contain your excitement. Monroe would finally be meeting her daddy, and Chris would finally meet the crazy cat lady you’d become. Your whole world had revolved around that cute little kitten of yours. She was just too precious.

-

You hugged him tightly. Finally. Your Chris was home again. Safe and sound. You stood in the doorway, clinging onto him and kissing him as if it was the last time ever. You’d jumped on him and he hadn’t even had the chance to close the door.

THE DOOR!

You couldn’t jumped down from Chris, leaving him a tiny bit confused, slamming the door behind him.

“What’s happening?” He asked, confused as one would be.

“I-I have a surprise,” you smiled nervously. “Just stay here,” you said and put your finger up, motioning for Chris to stay put.

You ran into the living room to find Monroe asleep on the couch.

“Sorry to wake you, kitty,” you whispered and picked the kitten up in your arms.

Chris’ eyes widened at the sight, his eyes dropping.

Before he could say anything, the words flooded out of you, as if you were trying to excuse what you’d done.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Chris. I know this is a big decision, but you should’ve seen her in that window. I had to bring her home!” You exclaimed. Monroe seemed more confused than Chris.

“What’s its name?” He asked with a warm smile and approached you and the kitten in your arms.

“Her name’s Monroe,” you said and Chris took the kitten from your arms and you watched as Monroe fell asleep in his embrace, heart melting at the scene.

“She’s adorable. Maybe we should get another one? I feel bad, she’s alone,” Chris said.

God, you were gonna become the crazy cat couple.

[crow-raven-crow]

𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 (𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬)

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐨: 𝐅𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐝

Larissa Weems x Avian f!reader previous chapter | next chapter | series page | masterlist words: ~3.5k 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫-𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: ANGST, hurt/no comfort, description of pain, blood, crying, reader impacted, description of injury, dread, helplessness, regret, traumatic event(s), scratches, deep wounds

AO3 link in titles above

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Chapter Summary: There were many things you faced while traveling the world, but none as brutal, as heart breaking, as soul ripping from the event that just took place. Your heart was still with her, as the husk of who you once were ran through the woods, breaking twigs and crushing leaves in your path. Losing track of where you were was a fools game, especially when it came to what you would have to face next.

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Just as the door shut, it was as though the woman came to her senses, feeling a deep emptiness and tons of regret wash over her form. She looked around her office, not a trace of you was there, and all that flashed through her mind was how your tears pooled in your eyes before streaming down your face.

You hid your wings from her - a fact that hit her like a truck. In your months of being together, hell even before that, you had never hid them from her once you found out she loved to see them - she loved to see all of you.

The reality of the situation dug into her skin, peeling it off, breaking her bones and tearing her heart out just like she had done to you just moments prior. With her theories out of the way and her mind unclouded, she couldn't believe she had said any of those words to you.

Was there any coming back from this?

Her gaze landed to her feet, her body full of feeling ashamed and flooded with regret, when a sparkle caught her eye. She knelt down and grabbed the two objects you had thrown at her, only for any and all air she had to leave her lungs in an instant.

They were beautiful.. The gold rings complimented you both, taking the aspects of your beings and making them dance together, like they were perfect as one, like they were perfect together… just as you both were.. She took one of them and slipped it onto her ring finger, tears finally leaving her eyes as she let out a choked sob at how perfectly it fit her..

All throughout your relationship, you had always paid attention to the little details of everything - getting her sizing perfect by just using your arms whenever you hugged her, memorizing her favorite shades and why they fit her so well to get her some new ones to try, remembering the items she used so that you would grab them before they ran out without her needing to say anything.. It was no shock that you had gotten her ring size right without even having to ask her..

She had messed up..

She had undoubtably, undeniably, without question, just made the biggest mistake of her life.. The words that you said to her started to echo in her head. 'You have denied yourself of everything good in your life, and I thought that maybe, just maybe, that I could be something to change that…'

The years of hurt, of heartbreak, of dread, of longing for someone to be by her side crashed into her like a wave. You, truly, were the biggest part of her life. You cherished her like no other and now you were gone…

She had to do something, to do anything in her power to at least try to give you a sliver of convincing to take her back - a feat that seemed impossible as she raked her mind about how to do it. She had broken you, and there was no going back from that, but she had to try..

If you had taught her anything, it was that she had to at least try..

When she stood, a commotion at the corner of her eye had caught her attention. She saw you running out of the school, down the steps, through the gates..

…and into the woods..

Her heart dropped, her throat tightening as an agonizing 'no!' tore up her vocal cords. She reached for her phone, calling Marilyn as she started to run out of her office towards her friends quarters. You couldn't get lost out there, you couldn't step in there especially with whatever was out there..

She couldn't let you get anymore hurt than she already had..

~~

With each crunch under your feet, your body seemed to move you forward without your knowledge, urging yourself through the pieces of dark bark and around the logs that have since fallen at the test of time. Branches and rocks alike cut and scratched at your face, arms and ankles, but your feet carried you along. Besides, what could even amount to the pain that had just been caused?

The sound of a tree falling had caught your attention, looking in the direction but not being able to see beyond the bark, beyond the tricks your eyes played on you, causing you to fall as your leg got caught on a particularly high rock. You tumbled to your knees, sucking in a breath as your hands and knees collided with the sharp earth beneath you.

You brought yourself to your feet, your breathing labored as you saw the smoke of every one of your exhales in front of you. The cold bit at your fingertips as you took in your surroundings. There were no markings, no buildings, no lights to give you a sliver on insight as to where you were, but, in the state that you were currently in, you couldn't find it in you to care. Worst comes to worst, you'll find your way back as the sun rose..

But it seemed as though nothing went to plan, these days..

You kept a steady pace as you forced yourself deeper into the forest, even as you brought your hands to rub your arms to fight off the cold, even as your adrenaline started to slowly fade away, even as your lungs filled with a burning smell..

It was incomparable to anything you had ever been in the presence of, tears welled up in your eyes as your body begged your throat not to let in another breath, a harsh cough leaving your lungs as it became unbearable, the scent leaving a sour taste in your mouth. It was like burning flesh, like burning hair, like the worst smell you could ever imagine and throwing the source into a fire.

You curled over, uncontrollably coughing into your arm. Your body begged for air, your lungs constricted as your nose took in sharp inhales to clear your airway, but the coughing didn't stop.

You heard a harsh snap of a tree in front of you, the sound making you jump in place and force yourself to get a hold of your breathing. But just as you took hold of the life saving ability, it was like all the air left you once again at the sight of.. it..

The beast was right in front of you, the very danger that had been haunting your home, that had taken pieces of your family, that had destroyed the biggest piece of your happiness.. was right in front of you..

Yet.. you couldn't move.. You found yourself frozen as your frightful gaze met a bloodthirsty one.. Its eyes were blown black with bloodlust, a glowing red barely visible within them. The large wings that protruded from its back made your own, though also large, look minuscule - even in your true form, they couldn't compare. Its skin was like leather, cracking and giving off a smoke that had to be the source of the smell. The cracks glowed red, like a residual ember trying to stay alive within tree bark. Its talons were long, sharp and shiny, reflecting the small amount of moonlight that seeped through the branches above you and illuminated the area..

A Demonic Avian.. It saddened you that a creature so beautiful, a creature that you were so close to, had caused all the worries that flooded everyones minds.. You wondered how far gone it was, what had happened for it to turn in the first place, for it had to go through something absolutely agonizing for the outcast to even consider turning..

For something so large, you wondered how it didn't make a single sound until it was right before you.

There was no point in trying to reason with it. You knew from the reports that trying anything was pointless - from running, to persuasion, every idea that could've been thought of when sat face to face with the beast was acted upon, all ending the same for both parties..

It always got what it wanted, and what it always wanted was to see blood - to see it seep from the victims flesh, for it to pool underneath them as it rushed out of every gash, to wear it on its claws as though it were a badge to be proud of, a trophy to remember as it sought out the perfect victim.

You started to back away slowly, your hands out in front of you, to create at least some sort of distance as it could be right beside you within seconds. You could hear your heart pound in your ears as you stared at the beast in front of you with wide eyes. Your movements caused a twig to snap beneath you, your body cringing at the sound knowing that it registered for the both of you, knowing that the one snap alone would probably be the cause of your demise..

Just as it was about to make its way towards you, two other voices were heard on either side of it, echoing through the night with urgency.

"Hey!" The redhead screamed while throwing a rock in its direction, successfully hitting the entity on the side of the head. "You're not gonna want to know the consequences of dealing with her!"

"Over here!" Another voice chimed out, causing you to shoot your gaze in the direction of the source only to see the silver hair of the woman you loved.

They both looked at it with determination knowing that, one way or another, it was going to get captured tonight. They moved, throwing you signals that they wanted you out of danger, but you wouldn't let them go through this alone - you wouldn't leave them even if one of them told you otherwise already.. The beast now had a harder choice to make..

but in this small moment of stalling..

it ran to the left..

"Larissa!" You screamed, the force of your voice ripping your throat and making it sore. You reached out of her, as though the small act alone would be able to rip her away.

Everything moved in slow motion for you - the beast ran towards Larissa who did her best to create distance. You didn't know when you started moving or how fast your being was able to carry you, but you suddenly found yourself in between the two, doing anything you could to protect the blonde.

Two large, dark wings shot out from your shoulder blades, enclosing your love behind you and keeping her closed off from any sort of danger that tried to meet her path. You would do anything to keep her safe, a vow you made to yourself when you met her, and a vow you still planned to keep, despite everything that happened between you two.

Her fists hit your back and wings lightly, and her pleas filled your ears as the beast stalked closer. She did her best to speak as she choked on her sobs of desperation and fear.

"Y/n, pl-please!! I'm so-so sorry! Don't d-do this!! I-I.. I messed up I-"

"I said I would protect you," your voice boomed, "and.. regardless of how you treated me, I still plan to do that." You cut her off, trying to ease her emotions while simultaneously grounding your own. Her fingers dug into the fabric of your shirt, pulling hard to move you but you had steadied your footing, becoming near unmovable to her antics. You couldn't let her get hurt.. You just needed her to be okay..

That's when life decided to pick up speed.. one moment you were talking to the blonde, trying to ease her worries despite the situation you found yourselves in and the next.. you felt cold, sharp claws opening your skin, tearing your atoms apart.. The longer you held your ground, the worse the pain got. Your ears started ringing as your body drowned itself in pain.

A scream left your throat, though you couldn't hear it all too well. A warmth dripped down your torso and soaked into your clothes, the heat giving you small sanctuary from the cold that absorbed you just moments prior. The claws left your body in haste causing you to curl forward slightly. You watched as it took its arm back, preparing itself to put every ounce of power it had into this one thrust alone..

You were pulled back as its claws swiped through the air, hearing the breeze of the force it used to bring its talons down, but you weren't pulled far enough as new cuts opened on your face, making themselves known with the heat that flooded there. You clenched your jaw as you found your footing once more, sending Larissa a silent thank you for her quick thinking, trying to ignore the large scratches that now littered your body.

Though, the Avian was smarter than you thought, you acknowledging the fact when its other set of claws pierced into you. A guttural scream left your throat at the contact, the only thing keeping you in place was the willpower you had to protect your love behind you. Then a loud bang echoed through the forest followed by many more causing the claws to retract themselves from your body.

The forest flooded with white light as red and blue ones flashed along the leaves and tree bark in the background. You watched the beast fall to the floor with an echoing thud, slowly turning into an unconscious girl soon after - something you took note of as your suspicions were confirmed, for only women could be Avians..

"Now, this is a story the kids will try to pull out of you," you thought. You brought a hand to the lower source of pain only to be met with rushes of a dark, warm liquid leaving your very being. "That is.. if you make it.." dread said, from the back of your mind.

It was as though that one touch was enough to catch you back up with reality. You let your wings expand, releasing Larissa from behind you, as your knees met the hard foliage of the forest beneath you, hoping that they would help brace you for the fall. It worked, though, now your vision was blurry as a red haze made itself known. The Avian had done more damage to you that you had realized as you were now forced to confront it all at once..

"I-I.." You mustered out as your rolled onto your back, a cough interrupting your words. "I really.. fucked it up this time, haven't I..?" you asked out into the open, a pitiful chuckle leaving your chest only to force pain out along with it.

"No.. no no nonononono, Y/n please-" you heard as a gentle touch met your skin. You tried to make sense of the scene in front of you, but your mind couldn't keep up as the figures kept moving. You groaned as you felt two sets of hands bring you to a nearby tree, propping you against it so you were forced to sit up.

"Y/n- hey hey hey- Honey, look at me-" Larissa pleaded, stroking her thumb across your unharmed cheek as she cupped your face, attempting to keep you with her, as Marilyn ran to Sheriff Galphin to get you to an ambulance.

"I-I uh-.." You let out a loud groan as you balled yourself together in attempt to ease at least an ounce of the pain you were being met with. "I love you.. still.. after everything. I love you, Larissa.. so much and I-.. I needed you to know.. to hear it from me at least once.."

Your vision became spotty as you looked at her, the blurriness from your tears and own blood along with it made it harder for you to speak, harder for you to function as more and more blood pooled out of your wounds. You were sure you could feel your organs shutting down one by one as you begged them to stay on, to keep you with her..

"I love you too, Y/n- Please.. stay with me.." She sobbed as she moved one of your hands to her cheek. You fought as best as you could, though, the blood loss and searing pain fought back harder.

You smiled as you attempted to look at her, your tears burned into your wounds as they spilled down your face. She loved you.. You could see it in her gaze, feel it in her touch, notice it in her desperation to keep you with her.. You put every ounce of strength into pulling her towards you and planting a soft kiss on her cheek.

"I love you.." you whispered against her skin, your consciousness slipping from your grasp, putting every second you fought, every second you begged to stay, into the depths as reality slipped from your fingertips.

~~

She felt your lips against her skin, the warmth from your own blood making itself known against it as her eyes fluttered shut at the gentle touch you gave her despite everything - her words, her actions, her hate still being met with all the love you still held for her..

A sob left her at the thought of it all, a quick inhale following right behind it at your words, your reminder and loving tone relieving her of any worry that she had from her actions..

But it was all sucked away as she felt your hand slip from her cheek..

Her eyes shot open to be met with a sight she wouldn't wish on anyone.. You were covered in blood.. it all pooled out beneath you and soaked into your clothes.. She watched your head rest slack against the dark bark, your eyes fluttering shut soon after..

It killed her to know that your actions had lead to the entity being caught, even if you were left in pain, even if you threw your all into every second to keep everyone else safe.. You fought so hard, she saw it in your eyes as you looked up at her, saw it in your actions as you stood between her and the beast after every slice, every rip of your skin.. She held her breath as she watched seconds go by without a response from you, but then quickly made haste to hear or see anything from you.

"Y/n? Y/n, hey- No! No, come on! Please, Y/n-" She brought herself closer to you, her hands sliding along your arms and cupping you face as she pleaded, being met with nothing in return as your limbs were slack and your face turned pale.

Strong, familiar arms pulled her back as two men came to your side, quickly taking your vitals and trying to stop your rapid bleeding. "There's a pulse! She's barely there, we need to get her treated. Now!"

She watched as they carried you away, your arm falling limp and hanging from your side as you were rushed away in the mans arms. Tears that blurred her vision were quickly blinked away as she held her breath, watching you get loaded into the ambulance, watching you slip away from her.. Her mind and heart urged her to move, but shock took over as she found herself frozen.

She was lifted to her feet, hands coming up to cup her face and steal her gaze from your direction.

"We need to go. We have to follow her to the hospital and make our statements.. I know this is so, so much to take in.. but we need to go to her, Larissa.." Marilyn spoke in a calm tone as she looked between Larissa's eyes, worry lining her features as she looked at the blonde who barely seemed to be present.

She was met with a weak nod from the taller woman as she watched her attempt to ground herself. She took this as a sign to lead her towards a car to follow you to your destination.

There were so many thoughts in Larissa's mind that it felt as though everything had gone quiet.. The images of you in front of her, of you closing her in your protective hold, of you in her arms, all flashed in her mind as her legs moved without her knowledge.

There was no doubt in her mind about how she felt for you, about how sorry she felt at her outburst, at how horrible she felt about letting the thought fester and grow in the first place.. She'd work every day for the rest of her life to let you know that she cared for you, that she was so, terribly sorry about everything she caused, that she still loved you.

As she slid into the car with Marilyn, her absentminded gaze steadied itself out the window. Her breathing was still, her brows furrowed as she played with the ring you made for her, as she brought a hand up to hold the matching one that she put on the necklace that one of your feathers hung from..

Surely.. she wouldn't lose you..

Right?

~~

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𝐚/𝐧: oh my.. this one was so emotionally hard to write..

If you made it to the end, gods you're a strong one. This series is definately not for the light hearted, but as someone who reads other fics I felt like I needed something with more angst since I don't see it too much.

With that being said IM SORRY AHAH I'm literally sitting here absolute dumbfounded as I just finished writing it.. I almost cried low key LOL. The visuals I was creating in my head while writing everything really hurt, so going back and proof reading and creating them again didn't numb anything and it was so fucking SAD

The reader protecting Larissa in this chapter was actually what started this series in the first place. I wrote it down as an idea during a lunch break a little over a month ago and created a small bit of the scene back then. Little did I know that I would create it into something like this

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I promise.. it gets better for the duo at some point.. My love for Larissa as a character is too strong to make it otherwise

~ 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐯𝐲𝐧

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tags: (tagged anyone who asked/wanted to be on the "all works" taglist)

@weemssapphic @readingtheentrails @finnja555 @barbarasstar @s-c-rambledegggs @notmeellaannyy @vendocrap8008 @gwendolinechristieiscute @lilfartbox1 @bbykens

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[geekedoutbunny]

Husband! Sun Wukong x Wife! Reader

Ch. 2

Paring: Sun Wukong x Reader

Rating: Rated M

Warning: In this story, you will read the following - Slice of Life, Mention of Death, attempted suicide, Past Cheating, Present Cheating, Triangle, Friendship, depression, anxiety, romance, angst, fluff, action, thriller, and drama.

MASTER LIST | NSFW CONTENT

You sat on the cloud, enjoying the beautiful view that was Flower Fruit Mountain, a little monkey lay on your lap sleeping peacefully your fingers gently scratching the top of its head making it sigh in contentment in its sleep. You were deep in thought as you stared at the view. You looked down as you heard determined grunting from MK as he trained with Wukong.

You smiled at the sight of them, happy to see your boys bounding, you sighed as you laid back on the cloud making the little monkey give a little grumble at being shifted in its sleep but he went back to sleep. You stared at the sky, the deep blue always so hypnotic, it was a trip that there was, in fact, an end to the blue wall. Your thoughts went to the celestial world, your memories of traveling with Wukong and his brothers flooded your thoughts.

You smiled fondly at the memory of Azure, Yellow Tusk, Peng, and... and Macaque. Your smile turned into a sad one as you thought of the black-furred monkey. Your eyes danced along the sky as you went through your memories with him. "That was a long time ago... a very long time ago." You said aloud to yourself. Wukong suddenly appeared before you, a cheeky smile on his face as he did.

Your eyes widened some in shock before you smiled at him. "What was a long time ago, hmm?" He asked, playful as he stared down at you with a questioning yet cheeky stare. You chuckled, "Oh just the time when we were younger and when you used to run around wreaking havoc and I had to come and help clean up your mess." You explained as you smiled at him. He gave you a sheepish smile as he looked off while rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah, that was pretty long ago." He said through a wavering chuckle. You chuckled up at him in amusement, making him look back down at you in question. "What's so funny?" He asked. You reached up, your hand gently caressing his cheek. "Just seeing you get all embarrassed over a silly memory." You said. He smiled as he stared down at you kindly his hand coming up to hold yours against his cheek.

"Yeah, well, you make me this way, you know that?" He said. You smiled sweetly at him, your heart hammered in your chest gently as the love between you flourished. "UMM!! HEY, MONKEY KING!? ARE WE STILL TRAINING OR WHAT!?" Shouted MK from below you both. You both looked down at him. "WE'RE STILL TRAINING BUD, BUT YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND TAKE A BREAK!!" Wukong shouted back as he gave MK a thumbs up. "COOL!!" MK shouted before he looked around. He looked back up at you both. "I'M JUST GONNA HELP MYSELF TO SOME MORE PEACH CAKE!!" He shouted before he took off towards the kitchen.

You and Wukong chuckled at MK's antics as you both watched him run into the kitchen. You sighed as you listened to MK make a mess in the kitchen, and you rolled your eyes. Wukong looked over at you in amusement. "He sure is a work of art, huh?" He asked in a teasing tone. You looked over at him, slightly annoyed. "Yeah, and no thanks to you." You said, he gasped as he held his chest. "HOW COULD YOU!?" He said dramatically, you rolled your eyes as you smiled at his antics.

"Oh, hush you." You said as you sat up, he moved back some as you did and he watched you curiously as you sat upright on the cloud, the little monkey on your lap looked around in question before it stretched and it hopped down on the peach tree below you. Wukong watched as the little monkey climbed down the tree and ran to his friends. "You might wanna go into the kitchen with MK." You cautioned him. He looked over at you.

"Why? If you're worried about him breaking something, don't worry about it, I can easily fix it." He said nonchalantly. You shook your head. "It's not that, It's just that there's only three slices of peach cake left, and you haven't had any yet." You said as you pointed towards the kitchen below. His face dropped, and his eyes widened in alarm. "AND YOU WAIT UNTIL NOW TO TELL ME THIS!?" He shouted. You shrugged. He looked down at the kitchen below, and he raced off. "HANG ON, MK!! LEAVE SOME FOR ME!!" He shouted as he jumped down and raced into the kitchen.

You sighed tiredly as you could hear some glass breaking and the sound of wrestling going on. You looked up at the sky, a cloud drifting by, the shape of it was odd and you focused on the shape, trying to see what it was. An image of Wukon appeared and you smiled fondly at the cloud, but it slowly faded when Macaque appeared in his place. You sighed as you looked at the cloud in worry. "That was a long time ago, Macaque... and yet, you still haunt my thoughts." You spoke aloud to yourself.

MK sighed in contentment as he relaxed his head against the side of your thigh, your hand gently combed through his once-tangled hair, and you hummed a soft tune as you did, deep in thought. He looked up at you with a curious gaze before he looked down dejected. "Hey, Mrs. Wukong?" He said, a sad tone in his voice. "Hmm?" You asked. He stayed quiet for a moment. "Do you think I'll be able to get as strong as Monkey King one day?" He asked, uncertainty in his voice as he spoke. Your eyes shifted to his face as concern gleamed in them.

"Where is this coming from, MK?" You asked him softly. He sighed as he sat up, your hands resting in your lap as you stared at him with patience. "Well, it's what Lady Bone Demon said... She said that all my efforts would lead to nothing but pain... and I want to continue to get stronger so that I can continue to protect my friends... But it seems that the stringer I get, the more danger I put my friends in... I just don't get it." He explained. You sighed as you moved over to sit next to him.

You wrapped your arm around him, pulling him closer to you, he leaned into your side, and the sad look on his face broke your heart. "You know... Tàiyáng went through the same thing." You spoke gently. He looked up at you with question his eyes gleaming in slight hope. "Really?... Then... How did he handle it?" He asked. You looked off, your eyes trailing up till you saw a picture of you and Wukong on your shelf. "Well, he had his friends to back him up." You said. He sighed and you looked down at him.

"Yeah, well we seen how that turned out." He said in a sarcastic voice. You bounced your head from side to side as you nodded agreeing with his words. "That's true, but that's because he lacked something you don't have." You said. He looked up at you with an arched brow. "And what would that be?" He asked. You smiled. "Pride." You simply said. He cocked his head to the side. "Whaaa?" He asked, the confusion in his eyes was enough but to hear it was enough to make you chuckle lightly.

"You see, Tàiyáng has too much pride... He has a hard time asking for help, and for the simplest of tasks... He's been the strongest for so long that he's forgotten what it was like for him to lean on others and not the other way around." You explained. He stared up at you with a dazed stare. You arched your brow. "What?" You asked him. "Are you sure Monkey King's the sage equal to heaven and not the other way around?" He asked as he twirled his finger in a little circle. You chuckled at his words. "You have no idea how many others have asked me that same thing. But I can assure you that I am not, but I am his wife so I guess that counts." You said with a playful eye roll.

"Yeah, checks out." He said with slitted eyes as he nodded. You smiled at him sweetly. "Listen, MK, your journey is going to be long and hard. You may or may not lose some friends along the way, and that's okay. That's how life works. It's unfair and it seems harsh, but that's so you can mature and make new friends in their stead... Just like Tàiyáng did with you and your friends." You said. MK stared at you with a worried stare before he looked down. "But, I don't wanna lose my friends... I don't want to lose anyone." he said.

You sighed. "Nobody does, MK. They don't want to go through that hardship, but sometimes it can't be helped... Sometimes, pain is what helps us to grow." You explained. He stared up at you with sad eyes before he looked down and he sighed. "That's not fair." He said dejectedly. You nodded as you leaned your head onto his. You both sat there in silence, listening to the sound of the waterfall that showered over the entrance of the cave.

Wukon stood on his cloud high above you and MK, his arms crossed as he had a concerned look on his face before he smiled. "That's why I married her." He said to himself, a proud smile on his face.

MASTER LIST | NSFW CONTENT

[timetoeatthebread-blog]

(Prologue) Perfect(?)Milo x F!Reader - Red Tulip

Summary: Takes place after “Secret ending: Give him everything”. Something goes terribly, terribly wrong and Milo gains his memories back all over again. As much as he still has feelings for Eris, he will try his best this time around to live a life without pain. Without Eris. Join Milo on an adventure where he tries to use you as part of his plan, only to slowly fall for you as he heals his heart from Eris.

Reasoning: When it comes to abusive relationships it can be hard to let go. Sadly, the world is not black and white, it's mostly gray, and therefore a lot of emotions can co-exist at the same time. You can realize that you've been in an abusive relationship and still have feelings for your abuser. The first step to healing is to realize the abuse and take appropriate steps, no matter how hard they are in the beginning.

Thank you so much @perfectlovevn for making the game. I really appreciate your hard work you put into it. If you don't like the fanfiction for any reason, or there's anything you don't agree with, feel free to tell me. I respect you a lot and if you don't like my fanfiction I'll delete it.

Fanfiction under cut: ~1.1k words.

It was cold and dark, and yet, as terrifying as the silence was, it was comforting. Everything felt so vivid. Yet, here he was, feeling nothing at the same time. Drifting in and out of consciousness, all he could do was sleep, surrounded by nothingness. 

How… Peaceful.

Is this what happens after death? 

Milo closed his eyes, contemplating. The more time he spent here, the more memories came flooding back to him. He didn’t know how long he’s been forced to relive everything. At the pinnacle of his memories lay Eris.

Oh, how much he loved them. He would do everything for them. Just like his past selves did - nothing would be spared when it came to his Love. Would he see them soon? How much longer will he be forced to be here?

With each memory, his thoughts became more deranged. Crazed. Obsessed. He couldn’t wait to see them again. His mind drifted to the new nickname they will give him. Excitement was almost overflowing out of his body. Until a new memory appeared. 

His emotions shifted. Anger, betrayal. Heartbreak. He desperately wanted to clench and hit something, yet he couldn’t move a thing. His throat refused to make a noise.

Silent tears ran down his cheeks. The poor man could only weep as his mind was being broken down, over and over again. And yet, here he was. Forced to watch how he followed Eris each time. How he blindly trusted them. How they bended him to their will.

As time passed, his emotions seemed to calm down. Anger changed to sadness, and from sadness came the blood thirst for revenge. With how he was stuck, however, it also went away with time. He just wished to be left alone. 

If given the chance to fix his mistakes, he would. He would have never looked in their direction. He would have forced himself to be more social. He would have forced himself to be as average as one can be - all to avoid their gaze. 

All to avoid their interest. To avoid their love.

It all left a bittersweet taste in his mouth.

Despite the fact that they were the reason for his pain and suffering, he still couldn’t bring it in himself to wish anything bad onto them. Even if given the chance, he wouldn't be able to bring them any harm. Even after everything, a part of him still loved them.

The void continued to surround him for an unspecified amount of time. Until finally, his waiting has been rewarded in the best of ways - woken up in his old bedroom. Boxes were neatly placed along the wall and only essentials could be seen on top of his desk.

It was perfect. Absolutely perfect. More than he could ask for, actually. 

He clutched his heart as he took deep breaths in and out. Milo leaned his head against the wall to his right, the cold helping him to calm down. Soon, a smile crept onto his face. A dry chuckle followed soon after. He looked up at the ceiling.

As luck might have it, he went back in time before school started. Before his first year started. Before he met them.

It was too late to move to a different university. But it’s okay. He’ll do it after his first year. For now, he’ll have to think of something. Anything, to blend into the crowd.

For now, however, he needed more rest. Although he didn’t feel physically tired, his mental state was a completely different matter.

It didn’t take him long to make preparations. The easiest way would be to use what Eris taught him in all of his past lives. But it all felt wrong - after all, it brought back unwanted memories and emotions.

Whatever. It needs to be done. Milo pushed his emotions aside.

He would use what he had on hand. Both past memories and experience. 

Milo traced the notes he made in his dairy. The notes consisted of people he knew would be useful. He needed someone Eris disliked, but not outright hated. Just someone they preferred not to cross paths with.

As his eyes scanned the list of names, they soon landed on a name he knew quite well.

(Y/N).

Known around the campus, had a very clean slate - when it came to drama, at least. Mostly minded her business. Grades were slightly above average, but nothing too outstanding. A member of the swimming club. Popular for all the good deeds she did. Had no tolerance for bullying of her friends. Isn’t scared to get into a fight for her friends, either.

Back in the days when Milo was jumping from one social circle to the other, no one ever said anything bad about her. Even when he tried to dig up something, it was almost impossible to find anything. All that was found were her good deeds. No one knew her family history or anything too personal. It was suspicious. 

Getting into her circle of friends, however, was very easy. Breaking up said circle of friends was a different matter. It took some time and dedication. Some thinly veiled lies and set-ups, and he managed to do it. For Eris.

What a fool he was. How naive. How stupid.

He rubbed his temples before picking up a blue pen and circling around the most important fact about (Y\N).

Somehow, she always managed to avoid a bad end. No matter the scenario, in all his past lives, she was always a step ahead of him. Always able to escape his grip. Eris' plans didn't work on her either. As if she knew what Milo or Eris planned from the very beginning.

She would make for a good cover. A welcoming group of friends that is hard to break up. Somehow always predicted what Eris was up to. Hard to scam. Perfect.

He would use her as his perfect cover. By becoming her friend, he will use her loyalty as a shield.

Now for physical strength…

Milo looked over his body. Arms, chest, stomach, legs.

A shudder runs down his spine as he thinks of the pain he had endured. He won’t be a victim of bullying this time. That’s for certain.

He’ll work both on his social skills and on his physical abilities. There won’t be any pain in this life. Not this time.

Milo pushed himself away from his desk gently and threw his head back, rubbing his eyes and taking his time to collect his thoughts. Memories of past lives still played on repeat whenever he closed his eyes. All he could do was hope that it would become easier to manage over time.

For now, he’ll need to find a way to meet (Y/N). Preferably before university starts, since he can’t sign up for the swimming club yet. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to scout the local swimming pools, to see if he would be able to find her. Maybe going to a party and socializing would help him get some information.

It didn't take him long to come up with a schedule to find (Y/N).

[nescaveckwriter]

Hurting Angel - Chapter 7 - ❤️

A/N: Y'all I am finally getting back into my writing, and the inspiration is flowing, so this chapter turned out to be severely sweet and I'm like, can I date him? 😂 Love y'all and thanks for the support my bugs 🐞🐞🩷

Warnings: 18+ Only! Some Intended Smut - And just pure fluff ..💞

Characters: Crowley, Bridget, Lainey

Cover: Created by me. Also images from Pinterest and Canva. Also please do not copy my work!

Words:1600-ish 😅

Chapter Name: Seven💕

The slow rising and falling of his bare chest, his eyes closed, his fingers stroking the blond hair of the woman, he spent the night with, opening his eyes, looking down, her head on his chest, her arm draping over his torso, she looks so peaceful, their limbs still tangled together, from this point of view he can see every freckle, the way the bed sheets are just covering the bare minimum of her body, the memories of last night, came flushing back.

The passion, the pent up feelings, he finally got to show her, what she means to him, he took it slow, getting to know every outline of her body, his lips against her skin, the way she trembled, the way those pretty little moans escaped her lips, her breathless whisperings of his name. If the walls could speak, they'd confess of two people exploring of the attraction, the connection they feel for eachother, the passionate dance that took place, a true definition of a man and woman caressing eachother's souls, connecting on deeper levels, it was so much more, than just physical they connected on a intellectual, heartfelt, soulful way. He has never felt this way about anyone in his entire life.

The fact that Bri wants him, feels something for him despite who he is, is astonishing, it's a mere miracle if you'd ask him.

She shifted a little, almost crawling closer towards him, a sleepy grunt escaping her lips as her eyes slowly opened, his voice a little deeper and raspier than during the day, "morning love".

She tilted her head, smiling, softly sleep still evident it her voice "so that's your morning voice mhmm... I like it" he chuckled "you like it huh? Want to know what I like my dear?" Reaching out to touch his stubbled jaw, "mhmm what's that" he smiled, and took her hand in his, kissing the palm, then her wrist, his lips still against her skin "everything about you" smiling and slightly breathless, "is that so?"

In one swift movement, he pinned her underneath her, resting on his forearms as his body pressed against her, he lowered his face to her ear, a gruff whisper, "was last night not clear enough?" A shiver of electricity ran through her body, "y...you can always show me again" a grin formed on his lips, and he nearly growled in that deep British accent, "with pleasure love" and as he said that he nuzzled closer to her neck, placing kisses, working his way up to her lips, before devouring her lips, he whispers "I could wake up like this every morning love" she lets out a small gasp as his lips met hers once again.

Tangling her hands in his hair, almost tugging him closer, a moan slipping past his lips as she did that. They spent the morning confirming their passion for each other.

As Bridget got out of the shower she can't help but smile, she's actually happy despite everything that's going on, she's tremendously happy, the world may see Crowley as the devil, but she knows he's not really a devil, his just a man who was hurt, and didn't know how to heal, despite what he believes she's no angel either, he's helping her heal as well, maybe, just maybe their helping eachother heal.

She pulls on an oversized t-shirt of his, she doesn't really have clothes here, and in that moment reality hits again a little, what is she going to do, the worries and slight fear flooding her thoughts, but it disappears as she walks into the kitchen, smiling as she saw Crowley and Lainey covered in what seems to be flour. She laughs "what are you two doing?"

Lainey's eyes wide with wonder and excitement, "Mommy, me and Cowley making pancakes" Bridget looks at her daughter and then at Crowley, before she walks closer, "it looks delicious" Crowley smiles "this little one wanted pancakes what was I supposed to do," slightly shrugging his shoulders, with meaning "I'd do anything for my two girls".

He looks between Bri and Lainey, almost a whisper "you two mean the world to me" Before Bri could answer Lainey tugs Crowley's hand, wide-eyed "Cowley?" He looks down "yes darling?" "Can I have one now?" He laughed "you can have as many as you like" the little girl does a little twirl in a sing-song manner "I love Cowley".

Jokingly Crowley adds "I think you love pancakes more!" That made the little stop mid-twirl, she lifted her small hands in the air as she stood before Crowley, and instinctively he picked her up , looking at her serious expression "what's wrong?" She places her tiny hands on either side of his jaw, "no! I love you and Mommy more" his hold around her tightened a little, but he was lost for words, for a moment, then with a slight gruffness "I love you too Lainey" she wrapped her arms around his neck burying her face in his shoulder, he looked over at Bri where she were standing, tears in her beautiful eyes, he opened his arm, without a word, he signals her to come closer and now he has them both in his arms, holding them against his chest, he's never felt this much love for anyone, but in this moment he knew, he'd never want to lose them and he made a silent promise to always keep them protected, making sure they are safe and loved.

He smiled, "let's go on a vacation?" Bridget pulled back "what?" Lainey "vacation?" Crowley nods "yes, just the three of us, somewhere at the coast?" The two of them laughed almost in sync "really?" He laughed "yes really".

The rest of the day, they spend talking about how amazing it'd be, and how much fun they'd have, how Bridget and Lainey have never gone on vacation to the coast. That evening he told the two of them they'd have to go and do some shopping, get stuff for their holiday, they both were so excited. Wanting to know were they were going but Crowley insisted that it was a surprise.

The next morning the three of them went to the shopping mall, despite just wanting to spend a sort of 'family' day he was still protective and on edge because of the past few weeks events, but they spend the day despite the danger that could be around every corner. He spoiled his two girls to his hearts desire, nothing to expensive or to much. He might've spend more money in one day that he did in a year, but he didn't mind he had plenty were that came from.

With multiple shopping bags, clothes, food and other needed supplies they got in his car, he immediately drove to the private airfield. They were surprised to learn that Crowley has a private jet, and that he was a certified pilot. He kept surprising them.

He silently watched Bridget and Lainey as they talked and laughed as he quickly packed the jet, once he was done he helped them inside. As soon as they lifted off, he started, telling them little interesting facts about the city, clouds, flying and everything in between. Up until Lainey fell asleep.

He watched as Bridget took everything in, wide-eyed, his tone loving “you okay love?” Smiling she replied, “yes, just taking in the beauty of it all. I always wanted to fly, you know!”

His lips curled up into a wide smile, “oh yeah! Good thing you're dating a man who has it all then?”

The sweetest giggle escaped her lips “oh so we're dating now?”

His dark brows furrowed “I …” clearing his throat “I thought we were kind of you know”

A mischievous glint in her eyes “I can't remember you asking me to be your girlfriend?”

He was genuinely puzzled, “But we… you know,” giggling “ I know what we did Crowley,” he looked at her, trying to see what she was thinking, but he couldn't quite figure it out, he never really had to do the dating stuff formally, all the other woman were one nights only, he doesn't like getting attached, well up until Bridget anyway.

She smiled “nevermind that, where are you taking us?”

He smiled “you'll see”.

It wasn't much later than that, they've landed in the Maldives, the gasps and excitement were contagious the way their laughter filled his ears had him almost believing he could be a family man, just maybe he can be a father for Lainey and maybe he can be the man Bridget believes he is. He carried in their suitcases, and other supplies, Lainey running in jumping onto the bed and Bri trying to get her to behave, picking her up and placing her down, Crowley laughed “it's fine let her have some fun, it's my house, and now yours as well.”

“What?” *Bri gasped, with a smirk from him, “yes love” Bridget took Laineys hand and jumped onto the bed with her , laying flat on their backs, laughing when Lainey’s sweet voice broke through, as she patted the spot next to her “Cowley come” he smile “coming sweetheart” he got on and laid on his back, his legs hanging over the edge as Lainey pointed upwards the art on the ceiling were beautiful and he had to agree, everything in this moment we're perfect, with Lainey in the middle, and Crowley's hand intertwining in Bridget's, he found a little piece of heaven, as the sounds of their breathing and the waves crashing against the shore filled the room, he knew he was starting to heal.

Tags: @jackles010378 @k-slla @winchesterwild78 @angelbabyyy99 @cevansbaby-dove @cutedisneygirl @bookishtheaterlover7

[importantandunavoidable]

Twenty years ago. That's when people stopped dying properly.

They were dead inasmuch as they stopped being people. But they were alive because they never ceased to move. They didn't walk. They didn't do things. They just moved. A strange gentle agitation. Like Parkinson's disease that kept on post-mortem.

At first, we were terrified of them. We thought they would kill us. I don't know why. We thought that the only reason the dead aren't dead is because they wanted to kill us. So, we waged war on them. Shooting them and setting them on fire. We ran from them. We quarantined people in stadiums. We believed that terrible violent things were happening. It was often repeated on the news-the dead were eating us. In time their numbers grew. The dead were forming enormous masses. Twitching masses. All across the world. In time, economies began to collapse. Wars ended quietly. Leaders slipped away. We didn't totally cave in. Some took hold of the structures, the culture, the daily life and they looked past, believing this was a solvable problem. They noticed, and soon we all did, that the dead were not hurting us. They were harmless.

It took a long time for this fact to spread into the population. Some never bought it and committed horrible acts of hate on the dead. Some destroyed the dead for sport. Some kept parts in collections. Some wore moving fingers on chains. Still do. There's a complicated, deviant culture pretty much everywhere these days.

When some calm returned, when a majority was finally convinced that the dead meant no harm-in fact, meant nothing-then solutions became possible. This was a waste disposal problem. The dead numbered in the many hundreds of millions. And they made up mountains of bodies. Like water droplets running into each other to create flowing water. They didn't mean to hurt us, but they threatened life in other ways. They became immovable. We didn't know it at first but their biggest threat was invisible: we were now, all of us, thinking about them and thinking about them all the time.

Governments, or at least what was left of them, turned to the private sector for tenders. Dispose of these things in an efficient and reasonable way. Keep costs down. Make it sustainable. Many proposals became popular. At one time, enormous cremating ovens were erected in Africa. They had incredible capacity. They recorded over a hundred thousand cremations a day. It was impressive. Iron ovens the size of cruise liners. Clean white smoke woven in the clouds. Still, weightless ash flowing on the wind into desert lands.

It was the pictures that killed it though. Bulldozed bodies piled in the ovens. The filthy heat and fire. It was, to many, a ghost. The holocaust. The iron cross and the metal letters. There were others who saw the bodies burn and believed we were constructing hell. We were Satan's architects and builders. Others, sentimental ones, just couldn't bear the thought of an uncle or sister twitching in the dark centres of these body balls, then being burned.

The African ovens were abandoned. There was a flood of proposals. Weight them down at the bottom of the Marianas Trench. This one failed in trials. The bodies simply found ways to surface. A clip of a trawler cutting through a sea of moving flesh and faces as far as the eye could see was too much. Landfill projects were tried, but with similar results. Thousands of moving beings beneath a landscape will find a way to break the surface. They poured down from hills and parks. Science tried to still them. To make them stop. But even this was too offensive once we saw their work. Vivisection and freezing and hammering and encasing and draining and filling with hard glues. Nothing stopped our nightmares. We were starting to feel this new creature was lying within us.

The answer that we finally accepted went like this. Waste Management Corp. (WasteCorp) constructed space shuttles with immense crates on their backs. These ships headed into our upper atmosphere and released the millions, setting them into orbit around the earth. WasteCorp, having learned a few things, knew it had to calm us, had to provide new rituals, had to give us the right pictures. Sunbaked loved ones. Star-dappled children. Not gathering in mounds like mad insects, but rather distributed evenly in infinite space. Great care was taken with both word and image. In fact, it was pitched as a vast improvement over being eaten by worms in the cold, indifferent earth. This was a room with a view. This was not death, but like what it was, a final place to slow down and be surrounded by wonder.

And so we sent them. By the millions. The only images we saw were beautiful. People leaving the ship easily, then drifting like a soft astral landscape. There was no question: it was the perfect place to rest. WasteCorp said that the dead were gently refusing the grave, and waiting for us to move them to the sky. If you could afford it you could even have a trackable loved one. You couldn't see them with the naked eye, but a chart was issued to you and you could know roughly what part of the sky they moved. Every day and night.

Then the light changed.

from The n-Body Problem by Tony Burgess