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sandyca5tle · 5 months ago

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Slime HRT - 24 Months

Well, these past couple months have been hell, with a light at the end of the tunnel that I’ve now reached, but still. Anyway, on with the show…

So, before I get into the really gritty stuff, my jaw and teeth were converted pretty early on, as well as my ear bones. The former were a little funky, but honestly nothing really changed there, since I already don’t need to chew things, losing my teeth was no big deal, and for the latter, there was a small blip in my hearing - for a few minutes - but then it came back, honestly better than before. I wasn’t super worried about the hearing loss, particularly after eyes taste and smell, only how long I'd be deaf for, but fortunately, as I said, it really wasn't a problem. I’m pretty sure that my slime has just replaced my inner ear’s function innately, and since hearing is just interpreted vibrations, and slime is pretty good at vibrating. What was and has been nice is the cat ears I made a few months back can now actually function, which took a little getting used to, but my hearing is super good now, if a little overwhelming at times.

Right, on to the less pleasant parts: Remember how in the last update I said that apparently you know when your brain goes, yeah, that’s true, and it’s ‘cause it’s genuinely the most painful, disorienting, and scary thing I have ever experienced. First of all, unlike a lot of other changes, it kinda just goes all at once - I think it’s a survival thing, the brain/core wouldn’t function while being half transformed, and it’d probably kill you if they tried to. Only issue is that this means that your brain basically dissolves over the course of a few hours, which is excruciating, and the weeks leading up to that absolutely suck as well.

The first thing I noticed was the pain - headaches, some of the worst I’ve ever had (which I know I’ve said a lot over the course of this, but I was fortunate before to have very little issues, and turns out transforming your whole body hurts). I tried to take some painkillers to help, but they don’t seem to work any more - not sure if it’s ‘cause my biology is so different now, or ‘cause my body breaks them down too well, but either way they don’t work, so I had to suffer through the pain.

Either on top of or because of the pain, I've had a general sense of disorientation. It started off as just sometimes getting a little turned around in games and the like, but it progressed to getting lost if I tried to go anywhere (which was compounded by some other stuff too). Frankly it's a good thing in the final days before my brain changed that I hurt too much to go anywhere, else I probably would have ended up somewhere entirely unknown at a really vulnerable stage in my transformation.

I also have had some memory issues while things have worked things out. My memory has never been amazing in the first place, but I started to get very forgetful, forgetting appointments, plans, even eating (I'd usually ‘remember’ when I started idly eating random things I had around, which has meant I've lost a few things, but I don't remember what so I'm keep finding things I need to replace). I’m also pretty sure I lost some older memories too, but it’s really hard to tell if that’s from normal forgetting or forgetting ‘cause my brain was becoming mush, it’s kinda scary not knowing. This is also part of what compounded my disorientation - when telling left from right is getting hard, forgetting where you're even meant to go or have come from only makes things worse. Also, try reforming yourself from a puddle when you barely remember what you were before… definitely had some interesting shapes recently. Honestly, it was terrifying, I actually didn't know if I'd ever be able to remember things again (obviously I can, but I didn't know that at the time, and my memory of that period are sketchy at best)

Of course, the pain I mentioned earlier made it hard to focus on things, but even beyond that my ability to focus seemed to vanish. I have been so easily distracted over the past couple of months. Genuinely a glint of light or something could completely draw my attention from whatever I was doing, and then I'd usually completely forget what I was doing, get distracted by something else and wonder off. I apparently walked off in the middle of so many games and videos and just any activity I was doing. Frankly it's a miracle that I have any notes, or remember enough to actually write this entry, I kinda spent most of this last month piecing together what I do remember and have notes of (the notes are not the most legible, worse than my normal handwriting which is awful anyways (there's a reason I type these updates)).

On top of all this, I also had nightmares and hallucinations. The former sucked, but honestly asides from waking up in some weird shapes in attempts to either fight or defend myself from whatever was jumping me in the nightmare (assuming it was a monster one) they were over once I woke up. The hallucinations were worse, since they could appear at any time, and oh boy do they seem real. Sometimes they were small things, noises, or a shape in my periphery. Other times they were blurry, intimidating figures in the distance. And of course with my inability to focus on things, these hallucinations would only be another thing to distract my addled brain. The worst though, was waking up from a nightmare, a puddle unable to reform, and the nightmare continuing as a hallucination in the real world. That'd usually shake me up for a day - and annoyingly my memory issues didn't really seem to extend to them. I'm still working out what was real and fake from that time, and it has not been easy, or fun. My ‘brain’ feels like goddamn soup whenever I think about that time.

On top of everything else, sometimes I'd faint. Sometimes due to pain, other times (particularly towards the end of the transformation) I'd just keel over, only to wake up in a puddle of myself. It was really disconcerting and scary… kinda felt like my brain was just cutting out, and I was a little scared it might not cut back in at some point… and of course that’s one of the things I remember clearly, the fear and worry of that - very clear that the ‘remember bad shit’ survival instinct was and still is functioning, as annoying as that is.

Since I don't particularly want to linger on those thoughts more than I already have, an interesting thing to note is that even through all of this, my actual mental faculties didn't diminish - while I was forgetful and distracted, if I managed to make myself, I found myself just as capable as before. I partially did this to help assure myself I wasn't losing myself, but also because, let's be honest, slimes aren't known for being the brightest bunch, and I've been a little worried this whole time that I'd get dumber or something. The pamphlet I was given didn't really say anything about this happening, but I know from trans hrt that the information your given doesn't always include every possible effect (I know it certainly failed to mention the attention issues during the most recent stage, and the blindness from before)

But, despite last month being basically the worst month of my life, I have survived, albeit a little scrambled, and I'm slowly putting everything back together. And of course, now, there's nothing human left in me! I'm all slime!!! (It makes me so unbelievably happy to be able to say that now).

Interestingly, unlike everything else, my brain hasn't fully gone, instead I ended up with what I quickly realised is a slime core! For those unfamiliar, slimes can have a core, which is essentially like their brain/major organ inside them, usually looking like a small coloured sphere. While slimes are usually pretty hard to damage permanently, damage done to a slimes core can be very debilitating, like heart, brain, or lung damage for humans and stuff.

I actually think I had a kind of proto-core before hand, but didn't notice it, and I think it came around about when my digestive system was changed, since I think my core manages matter-to-slime conversion (I'm guessing this ‘cause that's improved since my core has now fully formed). I guess I didn’t spy it before ‘cause it was too small or something?

On that note, my core is/looks like, interestingly, a kind of verdant green gem. It mostly just seems to float inside of my goo, although I can move it around my body wherever I like, but I tend to keep it either right in the middle of my torso, or in the middle of my chest (at least in human form). Both areas have a decent amount of goo protecting my core, and it looks neat to have it there.

It does actually look really pretty, especially when taken outside of my body (don't worry, it can be taken out of my body, so long as it remains in contact with my goo I'm completely fine), and yeah, just kinda looks like a funky green stone/gem. I am curious as to why it's green, and I'm kinda hoping it's gonna boost the efficiency of my photosynthesis, and that it's green ‘cause of chlorophyll, but I don't honestly know yet, need some nice sunny days to properly test it out.

I did find out that if my core does become separated from my goo, I can just reform another body from stored goo around the core, leaving the old body to fall (but I can just reabsorb it afterwards to maintain mass). Oh, and before anyone worries that I was being reckless, I made sure to check that I wouldn't die before I tested anything.

On the note of stored goo, it seems like excess goo/matter is stored in the core, like fat in humans. I'm not sure what or if there's a limit or what happens if I try to eat too much, but as far as I've gotten for now, it seems to be fine. I have noticed that I actually seem lighter now, I still seem to weigh about as much as I look like I should (maybe slightly over) and as such it changes if I make myself grow bigger, but not really if I eat things. I'm not entirely sure quite what's going on there, as that seems like some physics defying shit, but it's actually super useful, means I can store as much mass as I'd like and not break the sofa when I sit down.

So asides from all of those experiences and changes, I've found a couple other things that have sprung up from these changes. Firstly, I've found that my body feels much more coherent, I'm very much now one gelatinous entity, rather than bits of one and bits of another. Movement feels much more fluid now, especially outside of a humanoid form (not that I've gotten worse at being humanoid, just better at everything else) and I honestly find myself kind of hot swapping between slime ball and slime girl as I need/feel like it. Also navigating crowds is super easy now, just kinda slipping and moving between any gaps (I could kinda do this before, but again, now it feels so second nature). On top of this, my multitasking seems to have improved. I still can’t say one thing while writing another, but I've gotten better at physical multitasking; I struggle less coordinating my ‘hands’ when I try playing the piano for example (I still can't play it, but I've got more of the coordination for it). Add in that I can very easily have several limbs/pseudopods/whatever you want to call them at once (which is honestly why I think my multitasking has improved, it's to facilitate control of the numerous structures I can now produce) and it’s become very easy to manage multiple, physical, tasks at once.

One thing I have noticed myself doing, almost subconsciously (and honestly, this might've started a little before now, but I'll talk about it here, since I've really noticed it now), I'll just adjust my body however I need in the moment. Now, this may sound kind of obvious, but it's a little funky (but mostly neat) to just suddenly grow an extra limb, or pseudopod to hold or grab something quickly, or to just adjust my mass to better balance or manage something. Again, very neat, but a little funky to realise when I didn't consciously think about it.

Relatedly, shaping has become easier, not sure if that's due to practise, or having a more compatible neurological centre, but I seem to be able to shape myself quicker, and I seem to have gained a better memory for shape too, the latter is definitely due to recent changes, or at least, definitely due to the treatment.

I've also still been working on my acid control, which feels like it's gotten easier, but again I can't say whether that's from practice or the recent changes, but I can at least somewhat reliably keep an area of my body acid free now for a bit.

Unrelated to the treatment, but I'm actually much shorter now, at least in my humanoid form, clocking in at around 4’4”(slime ball form has remained the same size, at around 30cm tall). I always liked the idea of being really small, and I can now, and it's not like it really offers any disadvantages, since I can just reach tendrils up to grab things from high up (with eyes/vision so I can see what I'm doing), plus it means I have more spare slime to spend on other, more fun things than just being tall. This all being said, the idea of using all my slime to become really big also has its appeals, but it's less practical for day to day life.

To touch on one final thing, I definitely don't feel human anymore. I'm a slime, through and through, humanity is just a memory. I've mentioned before feeling more and more detached from humanity (if I ever felt truly attached) as this process has gone on, but now that I'm seemingly done, I don't feel human at all. Interestingly, I find this aspect has been remarkably similar to gender transition, with the feeling of being a guy slowly fading away until it seemed alien to think of myself as one, which kinda feels like where I'm at at the moment. I'll likely catch myself still including myself in humanity from time to time for a while, but I can safely say I'm a slime, and I am so happy I can now. So that’s what my life has been for the last couple of months, and while parts sucked - like, really sucked - the end result is so unbelievably worth it. While this feels like the end of slime hrt, I do have an appointment planned with the doc to talk about my next step and hopefully get myself onto shapeshifter hrt, so my next update will probably be about that. See y’all then!

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Tag list below cut (lmk if you want to be added)

@calliecwrites, @friedsputnik, @now-entering-the-goop-zone, @scrubbinn, @lilacinthefog

@mint-and-authoress, @losttodreams, @redroversendjayover, @ariathelamia, @kanithedemoncat

#slime hrt #slime girl #non-human hrt #species hrt #therian hrt #otherkin hrt #humanity replacement therapy #transgender #my writing

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overtrred28 · 2 years ago

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Time Bomb | Criminal minds x fem!reader

Summary; Y/N’s mind is overworked and tired from case after case after case and the team begins to notice, prodding her until it gets too much.

Parings; BAU team x BAU!reader, no romantic relationships mentioned. (she/her pronouns)

Warnings; angst, mentions of chronic headaches/migraines, swearing, physical and emotional pain

Words; 1.7k

No one is permitted to steal, copy, or reblog my work as their own!!

Gif is not mine. @book-place

It wasn’t unusual for Y/N to have a migraine, let alone a simple headache. She was diagnosed with atypical migraines when she was 15 and has been dealing with them since. But joining the BAU 6 months ago really seemed to ramp things up for her. Since the day she left for that first case, the severity of her headaches increased, impacting her working abilities.

She knew it wasn’t going to be an easy job, the commitments alone were tough but what was worse was trying to leave every painful detail of a case behind and move onto the next one, especially so quickly. She felt like she was doing work 24/7, whether she was on a plane flying across the country, stuck at her desk filing reports or thinking about cases when she got home. Everyone else on the team had been there for much longer than her so they had it down packed. But Y/N was still struggling, not that she would let anyone else figure that out.

She became quite good at compartmentalising, hiding her emotions from her colleagues, family and friends. But all of this stress, tension and hurt came through in her migraines. Having suffered in pain for almost 10 years already, she was good at moving through the pain, pushing it aside, but lately it began bothering her more than ever, and the team began to notice.

Derek was the first to pick up on her change in mood when she didn’t acknowledge his daily “Good Morning Firecracker”. Instead of her normal response, she flipped him the bird and kept walking to her desk in silence. He was quite insulted at her actions but took it as a bad morning. The other surrounding team members took note of this unusual behaviour from Y/N, all beginning to watch her closely.

Reid noticed her mental distance during a case when it repeatedly took her 8 seconds longer than usual to answer a question or hear her name being called.

It was then Emily who tried to comfort her, but was brushed aside and ignored by Y/N. It happened yesterday, the team were in the office, working on files from the previous case and Emily noticed the younger team member had been silent all day. She watched with concern from her desk as Y/N held her head in her hands, rubbed her temples and took painkillers every few hours. As the day ended Emily approached Y/N, tapping her on the shoulder lightly to get her to raise her head off the desk.

“What?” Y/N turned to Emily with tired eyes and an exhausted expression.

“Sorry, I just wanted to check that you were okay? You’ve been quiet all day.” Emily removed her hand from Y/N’s shoulder.

“I’m fine, Prentiss.” Y/N used Emily’s last name for the first time in months and it shocked everyone in the room. Y/N gathered her stuff and quickly left towards the elevators, brushing Emily’s shoulder on the way out. The whole team, including Rossi and Hotch who’d left their offices, stood in shock at the agent's actions. Something was definitely wrong.

~~~~~~

This morning Y/N slept in for the first time in weeks, and not on purpose. She had slept through three alarms and would officially be late for work, but it didn’t bother her. The pain pounding through her head was insufferable. It felt as if her skull was squishing her brain, waiting for it to explode. So she took her time getting ready, pausing every few minutes to sit and attempt to not pass out or throw up. Could she have just opted to take the day off? Yes. But she was too stubborn for that.

She eventually made it to work, slowly making her way through the glass doors, now almost an hour late according to her watch. But when she finally looked up from the floor, no one was at their desks, or in the kitchen, or milling around the bullpen. It was silent. As much as she admired the peace and quiet, it was bugging her, where the hell was everyone else. Curiously she made her way up the stairs, peeking into Hotch and Rossi’s empty offices, then towards the conference room that suspiciously had the door closed and shades drawn.

She opened the door slowly, expecting to also find no one, but was wrong. The whole team was sitting at and standing around the table, previously talking lowly amongst themselves.

“What the hell is going on? Why are you all in the fucking dark in silence? It’s weird.” Y/N’s voice caught the attention of her friends and boss, everyone staring at her with shock or concern plastered on their faces.

“Come sit down Y/N.” Hotch finally spoke up, his hands crossed at his chest nodding his head to the empty chair in the centre of the table.

“Fine.” Y/N snickered, moving slowly towards the chair. “What is this? An intervention?” Y/N laughed as she sat down in the chair, sliding down into a comfortable position. The room stayed silent. “Will someone please fucking say something!” She waved her hands in the air and looked to Emily, then Spencer then Derek.

“Y/N.” Derek sighed, moving away from the window where he was previously leaning, catching the attention of Y/N. “We’ve all noticed some changes in your behaviour recently and we just wanted to see what was going on.”

“Yeah.” Emily’s voice perked up from beside Y/N, moving to place her hand on top of the other agent’s. “We’re all worried for you, you haven’t been yourself. You get mad at the smallest of things, you’re constantly tired and falling asleep everywhere. Is there something you need to tell us? Are you-” Emily couldn’t even finish her sentence.

Y/N shook her head in disbelief, they probably think I’m an alcoholic or drug user. Unbelievable. “Wow!” She laughed out, snatching her hand away from Emily’s. “Okay, so how about you guys take a guess at what’s wrong with me and I’ll tell you if you’re right.” Everyone’s jaw dropped at her outburst, not wanting to say anything to make it worse. “Hm. Go ahead. Or are you too scared?” Y/N stood up from her chair.

“That’s enough Y/L/N.” Hotch sternly expressed to the agent, urging her to calm down.

“No, Hotch. I’ve had enough! This is bullshit.” Y/N began walking towards the door behind her, only to be stopped by Derek. “Move.” She argued but he didn’t budge. “Stop it Derek, let me leave.”

“No.” He uncrossed his arms, now softly holding her forearms.

“Derek,” She was really frustrated now, tears began welling up in her eyes. “I swear to god.” She shook her head at him, her voice was breaking. The physical and emotional pain was getting too much. The pounding in her head was so loud she thought her ear drums were going to burst. Derek saw her pain, swiftly moving to pull her into a tight hug, one that she didn’t reciprocate but also didn’t try to remove herself from. She broke down, for the first time in months she’d finally let go. She stood there, crying into Derek’s chest as he held her tight, protecting her, the room was quiet besides the sound of Y/N crying.

This was the first time any of them had seen her cry in the 6 months of knowing her, not even after hard cases. They looked at each other, hearts breaking for their colleague and friend. After a moment she began to move and Derek’s grip on her loosened. She wiped her bare face and held her head down as she went to sit back down. “Talk to us honey.” JJ was now in the seat beside her, stroking her back lightly.

She took a deep breath before she spoke again. “I have chronic migraines. I have since I was 15. And since working here, they’ve been worse than ever. Especially today.” She stopped, I sound so stupid, she thought to herself. Emily squeezed her shoulder encouraging her to keep going. Y/N sniffled, “I guess the heaviness of the cases, the workload, the stress has been getting to me a lot more recently. And don’t get me wrong, I love this job and you guys,” She lifted her head to look at her friends who were now all sitting or standing in front of her. “But sometimes it’s just too much and the emotional pain turns into physical which then turns into anger and a bad mood.” She looked back down at her hands, picking at her nails.

“Well why didn’t you tell any of us you were struggling?” Rossi spoke kindly from across the table, meeting eyes with Y/N.

Y/N’s mouth twists before speaking, trying to stop the tears. “I didn’t want to burden you. You guys have your own lives. And I’ve been dealing with it by myself for so long I thought I had it under control.” Her voice cracks at the end causing everyone’s hearts to shatter. How did they not see this earlier? They all thought to themselves.

“Y/N, look at me.” Derek was now behind her, she looked up behind her shoulder. “You are not a burden. You are an incredible and important asset to this team and this family. That’s what we are.” He smiled down at her.

“And that means that we’re always here for each other, good or bad.” Penelope’s sweet voice spoke next from further down the table. “Okay?” She asks when Y/N looks like she doesn’t believe her.

She stayed silent for a while, thinking about their words. Slowly she began nodding her head, careful not to increase the pain. “Okay.” She smiled at her team.

“How about you go sleep off the pain in my office for a bit?” Rossi offered, she almost rejected because she didn’t want to let them down but Rossi continued before she could open her mouth. “Just until we get a case, okay?” He hoped that would do the trick, and it did.

“Thank you.” She sniffled. “And I’m sorry for how rude I’ve been, it wasn’t intentional I promise.” She looked specifically at Emily and Derek who had received the brutal end of her outbursts.

So now the team was fixed once again, now knowing how to help Y/N on her good and bad days.

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#Criminal Minds #criminal minds imagine #bau team #bau x reader #fem!reader #chronic migraine #angst #fluf #derek morgan #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #jenifer jareau #spencer reid #david rossi #penelope garcia #bau/reader

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thuviel · 3 months ago

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I'm 1 week post op!

I had top surgery last week aaaaaaaaah!!!! FINALLY! It took so many years, so many delays, so many disasters that it felt like it would never happen. But I fucking made it! I got double incision mastectomy with nipple grafts. Gonna document the recovery a bit too if it's helpful to anyone c: So this is how the first week went:

Day 1

The most pain I had was immediately upon waking up, but after a while the nurses gave me more morphine and it was chill. I'd still rate the pain around like badly twisted ankle level pain, not too bad

Extremely sleepy, couldn't keep my eyes open for more than a few moments and slept pretty much the whole day

Got discharged from the clinic 3 ish hours after surgery

I didn't have drains, just a tight compression wrap around my chest

Day 2

Pain level was still very chill as long as I took my painkillers regularly

Biggest challenge was doing stuff without using my chest muscles or extending my arms much, going to the bathroom was the most difficult

Used both morphine and paracetamol this day

Eating and drinking was fine, just smaller portions at a time

Day 3-7

By far the worst days of recovery so far

Back and neck pain from weird sleeping positions was becoming more annoying and bothersome than the actual surgery wounds

I had some bleeding on day 3, the left nipple bled through the bandages and all the way to the compression wrap. I contacted the clinic but it wasn't a concerning amount of blood and it stopped on its own pretty quickly

I stopped with the morphine and just took paracetamol, which I decreased over the days as the pain levels went down

By the end of the week I started to get a tiny bit more movement in my upper body, still not extending my arms but things didn't feel as tight immediately when moving and doing stuff with my arms

Turns out I was allergic to the antibiotics they gave me, so I dealt with some horrible symptoms these days. It's not usually part of recovery but good to look out for in case it happens to anyone else too. I got very sleep deprived, could't sleep more than 1-2 hours at a time. I would wake up feeling extremely warm (but no fever), really nauseous, weak, heart beating fast and hard, terrible headache, sometimes feeling like I couldn't breathe properly. I only slept 3-4 hours per day. Also had some diarrhea and acid reflux. I was very weak and shaky, getting weaker and more dizzy as the days went on instead of getting better. Luckily I could stop taking them on day 7, which is when I learned I was allergic to them lol

Day 7

I had my one week appointment where they took off the innermost bandages and removed the sticthes keeping the gauze stuck to my nipples. Nurse said things were healing well, some swelling but not too much. My left nipple had gotten a bit less bloodflow and looked much darker, like a burned pepperoni. Nurse said it's not unusual and it still looks okay, it should regain bloodflow and improve on its own in the coming days

Got to take a full shower for the first time after this. It was terrifying af to have water and soap run over my very fragile looking newborn nipples lol, but it felt so fucking good to be clean

I could also take off the compression wrap and clean it which was a blessing bc that thing was disgusting by this time. I have to keep wearing it 24/7 for the first month but can take it off briefly to clean it

Despite the terrible antibiotics reaction, the recovery has been less difficult than I thought tbh. I expected worse. By far the most challenging thing for me personally is having to ask for help with every tiny little thing ^^' But already seeing such a flat look with my shirt on in the mirror is amazing!

#transition #transmasc #top surgery #elfy thoughts #i should have suspected something was off when the headaches were way more painful than the actual open wounds on my body lol #anyway im slowly feeling better now #it's only gonna get better and better from now on!#probably not gonna document every moment but just the most eventful parts #man i can't wait to do so much swimming in the furute :')#about me

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whump-about-it · 2 years ago

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Bedridden/ Semiconscious/ Light Sensitivity

@whumpril day 28

CW: capture, implied torture, implied strangulation, concussion, prescription drugs (administered responsibly), abandoned whumpee, disregarded mental state.

Caretaker woke up with a start. They hadn’t remembered falling asleep in the first place, but it had been the kind of slumber that had left them wondering where they were and what century it was. It took a few groggy seconds before they were able to recognize that they were lying in a bed in the infirmary, with Medic staring at them from across the room with an eyebrow raised.

“Bad dream?” Medic asked sounding half amused, half concerned.

“Did I pass out?” Caretaker ignored Medic’s question and rubbed the rest of the sleep out of their eyes. The lights in the infirmary were too bright. Caretaker had been awake for all of 30 seconds and they were already getting a headache from the harsh they were. Then again their whole body was sore. It felt like they’d been hit by a truck.

“Only from exhaustion” Medic told them and put down the paperwork they’d been reading when Caretaker woke. “Though you do have a mild concussion. I finished your stitches and you were out like a light. I didn’t even get a chance to give you pain meds. You want any?”

Right. They remembered the stitches, and the concussion. And last night. Whumper. The rescue.

“Whumpee!” Caretaker swung their legs over the edge of the bed in a sudden panic. The overly bright lights and their body pains temporarily forgotten. The panic was partially quelled though when they immediately saw Whumpee lying in the bed next to them.

They didn’t look good by any stretch. Their entire face seemed to be one big bruise. One of their arms were in a sling, and the other was heavily bandaged from shoulder to wrist. There were shallow cuts on their neck, poking out from under a bandage Caretaker knew was covering a ligature mark. They had been with Whumper for less than a week, but they looked like they’d lost a significant amount of weight. And the very little unbruised skin they could see was pale and waxy.

Whumpee did however, look alive. Caretaker could see their chest rise and fall as they breathed and a screen next their bed showed a steady heartbeat.

“They’re still stable” Medic reassured Caretaker as they stood up painfully (one of their own injuries included a twisted ankle) and hobbled over to Whumpee’s side.

“They haven’t woken up at all yet. But vitals have been regular and there’s no internal bleeding. They’re going to make a full recovery” Medic nudged Caretaker and held out a glass of water and few painkillers for them to take. Caretaker nodded absently and finished examining Whumpee before stumbling back to their own bed and taking the things from Medic.

“Physically maybe” They mumbled. Medic hadn’t been there. They could see Whumpee’s injuries. But they hadn’t seen where they’d been kept. What Whumpee had been through. Or how Caretaker had had to beg them trust them to come with.

“Well, yeah. But that’s a bridge we’ll cross when we get to it.”

Medic watched Caretaker take the pain medication and then took the glass back from them before speaking again.

“Team Leader came in while you were asleep. They wanted me to tell you, that they’re going to skin you alive for going alone without their authorization, and to go give them a debrief as soon as you’re conscious again.”

Caretaker groaned. They knew they had gone against Team Leader. Sneaking out to go rescue Whumpee. But all things considered they felt justified, and they weren’t in the mood for a tongue lashing about it.

“In that case, I’m still asleep until further notice.”

Medic hummed their understanding and went back to their paperwork.

“You can’t hide here forever” They said nonchalantly.

“I know, just give me some time to figure out how to nicely tell Team Leader “I told you so”“

“You act like you know Whumper.”

“Nah,” Caretaker shrugged squeezing their eyes tightly closed. The lights really were bright. “But I know their type. Sadistic assholes, who have a grudge against the world, and need to feel powerful in anyway possible.”

Medic looked up from their paperwork. Their eyebrow raised again.

“I’m not about to unlock another tragic back story am I? I get enough of that between Whumpee and Team Leader.”

Caretaker smirked and shook their head.

“Nothing you don’t already know” They assured them “I used to be one of the bad guys, remember?”

“Hmm” Medic hummed then noticing Caretaker’s discomfort with the lights, reached out and dimmed them ever so slightly. Caretaker sighed in relief and opened their eyes again.

The whole team generally ignored that specific part of Caretaker’s background. Normally they were thankful for it, but in certain situations, Whumpee being captured having been one of them, Caretaker would have been appreciated their expertise being taken into account. In this situation, they had known Whumper wasn’t merely going to hold Whumpee hostage. And the longer the team sat around trying to come up with a plan to rescue them, the slimmer their opportunity became.

Caretaker and Medic were pulled from their individual thoughts when a strange mumbling noise came from Whumpee’s bed. They were both on their feet within seconds, crowding around Whumpee’s as they finally stirred after hours of complete motionlessness.

“Caretaker?” Whumpee mumbled in a weak, breathy voice. Their eyes cracked open a bit, but it was clear they weren’t really seeing anything.

“Yeah, Whumpee I’m right here.” Caretaker said trying to sound soothing. “What do you need?”

Whumpee turned their head half way towards Caretaker, clearly trying to focus on them. Caretaker and Medic waited with baited breathe for Whumpee to try and speak again. However, instead of doing that, Whumpee suddenly sat up much in the way Caretaker had when they first woke up and started making a weak but obvious effort to get out of bed. The screen next to them began to show their heartrate rising rapidly.

“No, no, no, no, no” Caretaker and Medic both began to say in near unison. Reaching out their hands to grab at Whumpee and force them back down as gently as possible.

“Stay in bed Whumpee.” Caretaker insisted “don’t try to get up.”

Whumpee fell back against their pillows heavily and almost relieved, but seemed confused in their semiconscious state.

“But-” They breathed “You said we had to go”

“Yeah,” Caretaker told them “But we did already. You’re safe now. But you need to stay in bed. Okay?”

Whumpee nodded, and their half lidded eyes slid the rest of the way closed. They reached out their better arm and tried to grab at Caretaker with almost no strength. Caretaker took Whumpee’s hand in their own and stroked the top of their head with their other.

“Why?” Whumpee slurred after a moment.

“Because it will make you better faster”

Whumpee shook their head, but they seemed like they were loosing consciousness again.

“Why... didn’t team come.” they slurred “Why... did they... leave me there?”

With that Whumpee fell completely limp back into their pillows, slipping back into unconsciousness once again.

Caretaker continued to hold Whumpee’s limp hand as they and Medic watched the heartrate display on the screen go back to a normal rate. The two then looked at each other. Medic’s eyes were wide, their usual snarky expression absent. Caretaker however pursed their lips with contempt.

“Well, Medic” They said flatly. “Here’s the bridge.”

#whump #whump drabble #whumpblr #whumpril2023 #whumprilday28 #bedridden #semiconsious #light sensitivity #whumpee x caretaker #whumpee x medic #caretaker x medic #concussion #capture #captivity #torture #rescue #abandoned whumpee

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kikibridges13 · 4 months ago

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Dancing With Your Ghost | Chapter 9's Medical Breakdown

Chapter 9 here.

Full story here.

Hoo boy this was an easy one to write out, but rough on me emotionally. What you see in this chapter is almost a step-by-step of what I got to witness each day for 6 weeks.

Actually, for me, it was about 8.5 weeks, due to the weather, holidays, and being so damn sick, I was admitted to the hospital about a week before Thanksgiving because my gallbladder decided around that it was going to show it's ass in the middle of all that.

This is an excerpt from the blog that I had kept during that time.

Today's office visit was almost painless. It first started with a 12 minute video on what to expect for Radiation Therapy – which all I could think about during the entire thing was how they could have done certain scenes and transitions differently (my degree has officially ruined me. I'm critiquing medical videos now). However, I did pay attention enough to take in what all would be done, which according to their five steps (consultation, set up, simulation, therapy, and post check-up), I'm onto step three. Today was set-up. First starting with making a mold of my teeth, which will help the doctors make sure that they are treating the same spot each time. While I was biting down on that disgusting putty for five minutes (which almost six hours I can still taste. Blegh.), a nurse was marking three places on my face that would also help make sure everything was aligned each time during radiation. Okay, I guess I could handle having three tiny blue spots on my face for six weeks. And then she pulled out a needle. Suddenly I'm not liking this idea anymore. Apparently, these marks only show up under a some sort of blacklight or laser beam because I haven't noticed anything largely noticeable. But the nurse dabbed some kind of ink onto the spots she had made with a sharpie, then used the need to push the ink into my skin. How do people in prison set there and have tattoos done slowly that way? Because those three needle pokes were enough to make me want to run. Or just wince in pain since that wasn't an option. Good thing I was biting down on something during that. After those were done, I had to have a mask made that would make sure that I wasn't going to move duri\ng the treatment. It looks like a fencing mask that comes down on the bridge of your nose and has to be stretched to go over your head. So once they had it warm enough to stretch, it was placed on my head and stretched, then locked into CT machine. This is where I felt like the Man in the Iron Mask. I definitely had no room to move, so the thing had done its job. Then they did their CT test, and I was finally free.

My next blog post would be a month later, because what happens to Buck at the end of the chapter somewhere happened to me. As soon as my first treatment ended, not only did I have that constant nauseous feeling all the way home (and I lived an hour and a half away from the hospital I had to go to for treatments, so I was having to make a 3 hour round trip every day for a whole 10 minute treatment), but I had a constant dull headache the entire time. My parents ended up going to work - they had a second shift job at the time - and about 8 hours after that first treatment, I had a headache as tense we see Buck have. I didn't lose consciousness, but honestly that would have been better than 4 hours of intense pain. My parents came home, took me to the ER, and they gave me a shot of painkillers and sent me on my way.

And then I experienced the same thing the next, including actually sickness and extreme hydration.

But we'll see more of that in the next few chapters.

#9-1-1 #9-1-1 fic #brain tumors suck y'all #dwyg #kristina writes things

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holdmeclosertinytaron · 2 years ago

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Chapter Two

A/N: Thank you for the love on the first chapter last week! It was kind of scary posting the first part of a multi-chapter fic again but I also loved it. Don't forget to like, reblog and message about your thoughts! It always really helps :)

Warnings: Explicit language, consumption of alcohol

Word Count: 9.6k

Story Page / FAQs / ETTC chats.

Amelia struggled to open her eyes the next morning. Even with the black out blind that was ever so thankful to have in her room, it was still too bright. The small knock at her door caused her to scrunch her eyes and lift her hand to her head, rubbing gentle circles into her temples.

It took absolutely everything in her power to stand up from the bed. Her entire body ached with every tiny step she took to the door. She could hardly keep her head up in place, the pain was coursing through it making her want to climb back into bed and never get back out again. Exhaustion was an understatement.

As she pulled back the door of her room, she was overcome with a type of annoyance that she wouldn’t ever be able to describe. There was nobody standing waiting to talk to her like she had been expecting, and it wasn’t until she checked that the doorway was clear before closing the door that she saw the tray on the floor.

She bent down to get it which sent her dizzy and she regretted drinking the wine the night before. She slowly made her way back into the bedroom and winced when the door slammed shut a little harder than she had expected. When she’d managed to put the tray on the desk which sat under the window, she had to close her eyes and grip onto the back of the chair to steady herself.

Nauseous wasn’t a word that she could describe how she felt. Add to that the way that her head was so heavy she swore that it would physically split open and she had the recipe for the worst hangover she could imagine.

The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes again was the note that sat at the front of the tray, her name written so neatly on the front with a line underneath it and a tiny little heart. It was the lightest note but it felt like a brick in her hand.

Amelia,

I thought you might appreciate some bits to help cure the hangover that you’re more than likely sporting. There should be a few bottles of water, a bottle of pink lucozade (at room temperature because that’s the best way to have it), a selection of painkillers so you can choose which ones you’d prefer, some anti-sickness tablets, an eye mask in case you need to take a nap and some forehead patches to help your headache.

I’ll be downstairs pretty much all day so let me know if you need anything. I’ll leave my number on the other side so you can text me and I will hand deliver it to your room.

Love,

Taron x

Amelia smiled to herself and bit her bottom lip as she let out a small chuckle which hurt her head even more. She hadn’t known Taron a full day and he was already the sweetest man she’d ever met. He was so considerate, and generous for that matter. As she read the note one more time, she checked everything on the tray.

Lo and behold, at the other side of the paper sat a phone number. She grabbed her phone and added Taron to her contacts before sending him a quick text.

To: Taron :)

Thank you x

She threw her phone onto the bed and twisted open a bottle of water. One wasn’t enough though. Neither was two. In fact, three bottles of water wasn’t enough to quench her thirst. Just as she’d finished her fourth bottle of water and started on the Lucozade, her phone pinged from the bed.

From: Taron :)

You’re welcome. Get some rest, yeah? X

To: Taron :)

I will, thank you. I apologise for anything embarrassing I may have said to you last night x

From: Taron :)

Don’t sweat it x

With his final text, Amelia locked her phone and got herself comfortable in bed again. Her head was still heavy and she still felt like she could have thrown up at any given moment, but she felt a tad better after her drinks. She didn’t stay comfortable for too long. The pain from needing a wee had grown too much and she had no choice but to drag herself out of bed and toward the en-suite.

She had a wee and moved to wash her hands, finally looking at herself in the mirror for the first time that day. Mascara was smudged under her eyes and the foundation she had been wearing the night before was patchy on her skin. Her hair was messy and she felt horrendous. But, she had no effort to clean herself up so she walked back to the bed, put on the eye mask that Taron had left for her and tried to get some more sleep.

******

Later on in the day, Amelia was still feeling terrible and didn’t want anything to eat, but decided to head out to get some fresh air. She cleaned her face and put her hair in a ponytail, threw on a pair of her joggers and an oversized hoodie and headed out on a walk through the village. It was already dark out, winter well and truly on its way, but the streets were lit brightly with streetlights. Amelia didn’t know where she was walking to, or how long she would be out. All she knew was that she needed to get out of her room or she would go crazy.

She passed all of the places Kaine had told her about the night before, including the coffee shop which made her sick to her stomach thinking about it. There were a few people walking into the pub, clearly a tad drunk already with the way they stumbled through the door. Amelia could hear the faint sounds of chatter coming from the pub and she hoped that Kaine wasn’t having a shift like he said he’d had the night before.

Kaine was handsome, she would give him that, but he wasn’t as gorgeous as Taron. Taron’s hair looked incredibly soft, and his eyes were so vividly green that Amelia swore she could look at them for the rest of her life and have no more worries. Sure, Kaine was slightly broader than Taron, but Taron looked so cuddly and muscular at the same time. He looked warm and inviting.

The few times that she’d been around Taron, Amelia had noticed the way he smelt. The most beautiful scent she’d ever breathed and she didn’t want to smell anyone else ever again. Everything about him clouded her vision and left her lightheaded and gasping for breath. So much so that she’d not been paying attention to where she was walking and happened to bump into someone.

‘Ouch,’ she mumbled as she straightened up, lifting her eyes from the ground to the person she had stumbled into.

‘So you ventured out into the wild, did you?’ Taron’s voice melted her insides. It was so smooth yet so rugged that she didn’t know how to describe it. All she knew was that it was perfect.

‘I still feel like shit,’ she started, pulling the sleeves of her hoodie over her hands, ‘but I needed some air. I hate being cooped up all day. Plus, I thought it would be quiet and I could enjoy some time alone.’

Taron lifted his head in acknowledgment, completely understanding where she was coming from. He had, on occasion, taken himself for a walk around the village during the night when he couldn’t sleep. Of course, it wasn’t the same situation that Amelia was in, but he still understood.

‘Thank you, again, for the tray this morning.’

‘Really, it was no problem,’ Taron replied softly. He was aware that Amelia’s head was probably still a little fragile. ‘You’ve kept hydrating today, yeah?’

Amelia nodded, a smile evident on her face. Taron was so thoughtful and she had absolutely no idea how someone could treat her so amazingly after everything that the media made her out to be. She was sure that Taron would have seen some of the things said about her, but he did a damned good job at not showing it if he had.

‘Good. The pink Lucozade was a complete gamble, and it was Autumn who told me about it. Normally I just down a pint but I didn’t want to give you alcohol so the Lucozade-’

‘-is my usual hangover cure. Thank you.’ Her words were soft and she held a small smile despite feeling like a zombie. ‘Do you have the time on you at all? I’m stupid and forgot my phone in my room which means I’m also going to have to attempt to navigate my way back to the bed and breakfast without a map.’

Taron pulled his phone out of his coat pocket and pressed the lock button. ‘It’s coming up to nine. I’ll walk you back to the bed and breakfast. It’s on my way back home and I wouldn’t want you to get lost.’

Amelia smiled happily and turned around so that she could walk by Taron’s side. The cold chill of the night was starting to take its toll on her and she hugged herself to try and warm herself up. Though the thin material of her hoodie wasn’t enough to do anything for her. Taron could see her starting to shiver from his side and only a couple seconds later, he started to remove his coat.

He held it out for her, watching as she shook her head. ‘I can’t possibly. You’ll catch your death if you don’t wear that!’

‘Amelia, you’re out here wearing nothing but a hoodie. I promise I’ll be okay until we get back to the bed and breakfast. I’ve got my hat and scarf to keep me warm for now anyway.’

Amelia took the coat reluctantly, putting her arms through and holding it closed at her front. It drowned her. She resembled an ant covered by a leaf, but at least she was warm. Taron’s scent enveloped her. It was musky and sweet all at the same time. Even being wrapped in it for a few seconds, she felt more safe and protected than she had in a long time. It was like a warm hug. A hug that she had been needing.

‘Thank you,’ she mumbled as they continued their walk. ‘Thank you for the food recommendation last night. By far the best pub grub I’ve had in a long while.’

‘You’re more than welcome. Mrs Tilson makes some of the best food, honestly.’

‘It was heavenly.’ She was taken back to the night before when she ate some of the best food she’d ever had. ‘I’ll definitely be going back. Great service and great people.’

Taron nodded. ‘Yeah. I saw you were walking back with Kaine. Sound bloke, huh?’

‘Oh definitely!’ Amelia said happily. ‘Shame I didn’t get to exchange numbers with him, to be honest.’

‘Yeah.’ Taron’s response was drawn out. He regretted bringing Kaine up.

Taron and Kaine had been friends during school, but grew apart when Kaine moved to uni and made new friends. Their lifestyles were different and they understood. They remained friendly and would talk if they saw one another, but they weren’t necessarily ‘friends’ anymore.

‘How are you finding the weather?’ Taron asked awkwardly, hoping that Amelia couldn’t pick up on it- though she more than likely had.

‘It’s a lot colder than I was expecting. I’m used to winter in LA at this point. I only really come home for Christmas, so this is a lot different.’

‘Is LA nice this time of year?’

Taron nudged Amelia to the left so that they could take what Amelia had assumed to be a shortcut back to the bed and breakfast. Though really, Taron was walking back the long way. He wanted to spend as much time with Amelia as he could. He wanted to get to know her, the real her. Not the media’s perception of her.

‘It’s not too bad,’ she answered after a little bit. ‘I would much rather be back home during the festive period though. Nothing quite beats the Chester Christmas market.’

Amelia sighed slowly, needing a minute to compose herself. Whenever she thought back to the times when she was at home all the time with her family, she found herself getting teary. Leaving home to pursue her passion had been a hard choice, even though completely worth it.

‘I’ve never been to the Chester one,’ Taron uttered. ‘I’ll have to go one day.’

‘You should,’ Amelia said through a sniffle, putting on a smile as she turned back to Taron. ‘It’s the best when you’re wrapped up and you go with someone else. I’ll let you know if I’m there next year and you’ll have to come with me.’

‘It’s a date…plan. It’s a plan.’

The bed and breakfast came into view not long after, and Amelia’s heart dropped a tiny bit at the thought of having to say goodbye to Taron. There was something about being in his presence that eased all of her anxiety and stress. She’d only known him for a day but she was drawn to him.

‘It’s a date.’

Taron turned to her with a gentle smile, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as they walked up to the gate at the bottom of the path. Amelia pulled the coat away from her body and handed it back to Taron. Electricity shot through her finger and up her arm when her skin grazed his.

‘Thank you for the coat.’

‘It was no bother. Lovely seeing you again, love.’

There it was again. The name that left her heart soaring and made her knees grow weak.

‘Likewise. I’ll see you around, Taron.’

Taron nodded, letting her walk through the gate and waiting until she got inside the door before turning and walking home himself. The entire walk home, Amelia was on his mind. From the way she talked to the way she moved. Everything about her was magnetic, and he would be damned if he didn’t get to become at least one of her good friends. If only it weren’t for Kaine, maybe he’d had a shot at being with her fully.

******

Amelia’s first few days in Rivercliffe had been spent getting to know the village, and the people who were around her the most. Autumn and Sada were in the coffee shop when Amelia turned up one day so they took her for the ‘grand tour’ of the village, which lasted all of ten minutes so they headed back to the coffee shop for another drink.

They sat in the far corner of the place, Sada and Amelia taking the sofa and Amelia perching on an arm chair across from them. There were only a few other tables in the shop, most of them being occupied by older couples. At the very back of the room was the counter which only one person staffed. There was a cake fridge and sandwiches sitting to the right of the counter and the back wall had price lists that were brightly lit.

The girls asked Amelia about her life and the things she had gotten up to, and Amelia asked them about life in Rivercliffe and what it was like at other times of the year. When the subject of men came up, Amelia wished the ground to swallow her up. She hated talking about men and even more so when the majority of her relationships, or rumoured relationships at least, were plastered over every newspaper and magazine known to man.

‘Spencer just gets on my tits constantly,’ Autumn muttered as she picked her latte up to take a sip.

‘How so?’ Amelia asked quietly.

‘He’s obsessed with you, for starters.’ Autumn clapped her hand over her mouth as soon as the words left her, squeezing her eyes shut and hoping that Amelia hadn’t heard what she’d said. When she was brave enough to peel one eye open, Amelia was already staring back at her with her lips pulled into her mouth. ‘Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to just blurt that.’

‘You’re such an idiot,’ Sada piped up, rolling her eyes and offering Amelia an apologetic smile.

‘It’s fine. Might sound big-headed of me but I’m used to guys being obsessed with me. And women too. Comes with the job, I guess.’

The three fell into a short silence. Amelia stood up to walk to the counter to order another tea. Lord knew she needed it after finding out the man she thought was being welcoming to ease her into the stay could potentially have only been that way because he was a fan. She didn’t have time to dwell on it too much, for Sada came to stand next to her, resting her hand on Amelia’s shoulder while offering her a smile.

‘I’m sorry. She was so stupid back there. Sometimes she says stuff she doesn’t mean and-’

‘It’s alright, honestly. Just caught me off guard is all.’

Sada nodded, ordering herself another latte before turning her attention back to the woman next to her. ‘She’s known for that. Doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut. I like to call it foot in mouth syndrome.’

‘I know a couple of people like that,’ Amelia chuckled lightly to herself. She stirred two sugars into her tea before taking a sup. ‘You’d think I’d be used to it by now, after doing this for nearly ten years.’

‘Ten years?’ Sada asked in surprise. Amelia nodded with a sigh.

‘Ten whole years. It doesn’t feel like it’s been so long but I think that’s because I really love it.’

‘Time really does fly when you’re having fun.’ Sada’s comment was but a quiet whisper, but Amelia nodded with her.

For as long as she could remember, Amelia had wanted to act, loving the way that she could transform herself into endless different people without ever having to change herself. She felt privileged to have had the opportunity to be a part of so many amazing films that had become so many different people’s favourite. The films that she’d been in varied from those suitable for children to action and thriller films.

‘It does indeed,’ she responded as they walked back to the table. ‘So, Sada, are there any men in your life?’

‘Ummm, there’s a Noelani?’ Sada smiled before grabbing her phone and showing Amelia her wallpaper.

‘Oh shit, sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed that you were…she’s gorgeous.’

‘It’s okay. I don’t exactly scream gay.’ Sada motioned her hands down her body, showing off her flowy dress. She was dressed the most feminine out of the three girls, with Autumn wearing jeans and a band tee, and Amelia in a pair of tapered pin-stripe trousers and black t-shirt tucked into them.

‘I’m still sorry,’ Amelia spoke honestly. ‘I know it’s not nice when people just assume your sexuality.’

‘What about you, Amelia? Is there anyone in your life at the minute?’

Amelia shook her head, potentially a little too quickly. She tried not to be too open about her love life, worried that it would be leaked into the press somehow. But she trusted Autumn and Sada, even if she had known them only a short while. They made her feel welcomed and treated her like a regular human who was just taking a holiday in their village.

‘No one in my life. Not that I don’t want there to be.’ Amelia stirred her tea absentmindedly, not really needing to stir it at all.

‘Weren't you seeing Henry Cavill recently?’ Autumn questioned. Amelia expelled a breath. She should have known that the question was coming but she wasn’t prepared to have to answer it. ‘Sorry, that was stupid.’

‘Henry Cavill?’ Sada sputtered. ‘Isn’t he almost 40?’

Amelia nodded, chuckling to herself. ‘Thought I needed to find myself a man after dating so many boys. Turns out even the ones you think are amazing don’t end up being that way.’

‘What happened? If you don’t mind me asking.’ Sada was always careful with what she said and Amelia was thankful. ‘Obviously you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to or feel uncomfortable in any way.’

‘No, it’s fine. We’re both in very different stages of our lives and the things we wanted just didn’t add up anymore. He’s so lovely and he holds a large chunk of my heart but we just weren’t meant to be.’

‘So very grown up of you,’ Sada responded.

‘Also means that it has become my mission to get her laid before she leaves,’ Autumn added, earning an eye roll from Sada and a guffaw from Amelia. ‘What? A girl deserves to get some just as much as a guy does. And there are plenty of hot men in the village. You’re just not allowed to sleep with Spencer.’

‘I wouldn’t ever dream of it,’ Amelia said with a laugh.

‘Wait, so you’ll let me get you laid?’

‘I never said yes!’

‘You never said no either, so I’ll take it!’

******

The pub had become Amelia’s go-to for tea, and she’d grown really close to Kaine in the time she’d spent with him. If he wasn’t working, she wouldn’t order food until he got there because she knew that she could trust him to order it correctly. Mrs Tilson had made her numerous meals, going as far as making whatever it was that she so desired each night. At some point, she was told that she wasn’t to pay for her food anymore because it felt wrong taking money from her when she had become such a good friend to everyone.

Of course, she couldn’t just eat food and not pay for it so she started to leave large tips that would cover the cost of the food. That night, as she waited for Kaine to start his shift, she reluctantly ordered herself a single glass of wine and sat herself in the corner of the pub away from everyone else. Her phone buzzed in her hand and she smiled at the text that had come through.

From: Haz :)

How’s the middle of nowhere treating you, Snookums? X

Amelia laughed at the nickname her best friend had given her and she shook her head and sipped her wine. She made a promise to herself that she would limit herself to two glasses and then she had to drink water instead.

To: Haz :)

It’s actually really good…unlike that bloody nickname! You would love it. Super serene and you can walk around without being noticed which makes a lovely change x

From: Haz :)

The nickname stays. Unlike you there! I miss you already x

From: Haz :)

But I’ll have to go on a getaway there sometime. Do you recommend the place you’re staying? X

To: Haz :)

I hate you so much omg. I highly recommend Rivercliffe. Lovely B&B, beautiful food and amazing food too. I wish you were here honestly. Would be nice to have a friend from ‘home’ here with me x

‘Evening,’ Kaine offered as he walked past her and toward the bar so he could start his shift.

‘Hi, Kaine. How’s your day been?’

‘Long and tedious. I had to cancel my date day with Thalia so that I could help out at the wildlife park. I’ve been there all day in the freezing cold.’ Kaine shrugged his coat from his shoulders and got to work turning his till on.

From: Haz :)

I wish I could be too! It’s been too long since you got to feast your eyes on my perfect ass. I bet they’re hungry x

Amelia burst into giggles, not seeing the way Kaine looked at her when she did. When she looked at him, Kaine looked offended and Amelia felt awful.

‘I wasn’t laughing at you, I swear. Harry just sent me a stupid text and it made me laugh. I’m so sorry you’d have a shitty day. Is there anything I can do to help?’

‘Harry? As in Styles? Eros, the brother of Thanos, Jack in that new Don’t Worry Darling film? That Harry?’

Amelia nodded with a breathy chuckle. ‘That’s the one. He’s the biggest nightmare to roam the Earth, I swear to you. But he’s such a good friend. We’re not talking about Harry though. We’re talking about you.’

‘There’s not much to talk about. Thalia is pissed off at me for cancelling our day but I couldn’t help it. One of the giraffes got ill so I had to go help out.’

‘If she’s pissed, buy her a Milk Tray and take her a 2004 chick flick to watch. You’ll be in her good books then.’ Kaine raised his eyebrows at Amelia, wondering how she knew what would calm Thalia down. ‘We had our fair share of spats when we were younger. The way to her heart is a chick flick and chocolate, trust me.’

Kaine nodded, typing the advice into his notes app before blowing into his hands in an attempt to warm them up. He was cold after spending the day outside and couldn’t get warm for the life of him. The black knitted jumper he wore didn’t seem to be doing much to raise his body temperature so Amelia moved her hands forward and grabbed a hold of his. His skin was cold but so incredibly soft against her and she could feel him start to warm up when she rubbed them.

‘You know, I still find it strange that you and Thalia used to go to school together,’ he commented, appreciating the help to warm up. When Amelia found out about Kaine’s girlfriend, she probed about her more and found out that she was the same Thalia she’d been to school with.

‘She was the best. She still still is the best friend I’ve ever had. She didn’t let any of my work change the way she felt about me which was lovely.’

Amelia pulled her hands away from Kaine’s when she saw Taron walk into the pub. His eyes immediately on the two people at the bar and he felt his heart sink to his chest. First he had to see them talking back to the B&B together when Amelia was drunk and then he saw them holding hands in the middle of the pub. He could feel his chances with her dwindling with each passing day.

‘Taron, how are you mate?’ Kaine offered when Taron got close to them.

‘Not too bad, thanks. Is everything okay with the giraffes now?’

Kaine nodded and stood up properly. ‘Yeah they’re good now. Fancy a drink?’

‘I’ll have a Southern Comfort and Coke, please.’

‘Ooh, make me one while you’re at it, please. I’ll have Diet Coke though,’ Amelia chimed in, lifting her glass of wine to her lips and downing the rest of it in one. Taron and Kaine stared at her with open mouths and she glanced between them. ‘Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I don’t know how to down a drink. I went to university, I know how to drink.’

‘I’m floored,’ Kaine chuckled while Taron stared at Amelia in awe, ‘but two South Comforts and Coke coming up.’

‘Pop them on my tab,’ Amelia said. ‘They’re on me.’

Taron finally pulled himself back to reality and shook his head doing a double take. ‘I can’t let you pay. I’ll buy them.’

‘Taron, you’ve already given me a box of Yorkshire tea so I won't run out and you gave me the hangover basket. This is the least I can do.’

Amelia rested her hand on top of Taron’s which was sitting on top of the bar. His skin was warm and soft under her hand despite him having been outside in the bitter cold. He flicked his eyes from their hands up to her eyes, smiling gently and swiftly licking his bottom lip. He was totally in awe of the girl in front of him.

Her hair fell just below her shoulders, the end of it a lighter brown than the roots. She wore a simple outfit, a pair of black jeans, a black jumper and her Vans. her jacket hung over the back of her chair along with her small handbag, and Taron found himself unable to not stare at the beautiful woman.

‘Your drinks, with a little extra alcohol in them.’ Kaine slid the drinks in front of Taron and Amelia before wiping his hands. ‘Thanks for the film and chocolate advice, Amelia.’

‘No problem.’

With that, Kaine was off to serve other customers, leaving Taron and Amelia on their own to talk. It was slightly awkward, neither of them knowing what to talk about. It was only made worse when they both started talking at the same time.

‘So, is the bed and breakfast your only job?’

‘How are you finding Rivercliffe so far?’

Amelia chuckled, motioning with her hand for Taron to talk first. Though Taron being Taron, he motioned for her to talk first. They both chuckled.

‘You know, you two are never going to have a conversation if you’re like this all the time,’ an elderly man near him said loudly. ‘How about the girl talks first? Her voice is pretty after all.’

Taron noticed Amelia grow uncomfortable with the man so he suggested that they move to a booth close to the back where it would be a little quieter. Amelia agreed instantly, grabbing her jacket and bag before following him. As she walked, she paid attention to the bounce of his hair as he walked, and the way his top rose a little to show his hips.

‘Amelia?’

Her head snapped up and she was met with Taron’s stare. ‘Yeah, sorry you were saying?’

‘Is this booth alright?’ Amelia nodded without checking the seat, plonking herself down on the tattered brown leather. ‘I’m going to go grab another drink, would you like anything?’

‘I’ll come and get one, it’s okay.’

Taron lifted his eyebrows in a way that could only say ‘don’t you even think about it’, and Amelia sank back into the seat with an amused grin. She thought for a minute trying to decide what she wanted to drink, not being able to decide between a glass of the house red of the day or another Southern Comfort.

‘Surprise me,’ she said eventually, watching Taron as he nodded and walked away.

When he returned, he held two glasses of what she could only assume to be another Southern Comfort. Before the one she drank when Taron first turned up, she’d only ever had one before but she could tell why he’d chosen it. As soon as the alcohol hit her throat, she felt warm from the inside. It took her a few sips to get back into it, but once she was, she knew that she would have a hard time ordering more.

‘You’re an angel, thank you,’ she said slowly as Taron sat down and slid a glass to her.

‘It’s no big deal,’ he said before taking a sip of his drink. ‘So, as I was saying before we were interrupted by Terry, how are you finding Rivercliffe so far?’

‘It’s like living in a fairytale,’ she said enthusiastically. ‘I went for a walk around the meadow yesterday and all the leaves have fallen from the trees and it was so pretty. I love wading through leaves at this time of year. And just walking around the village itself is everything I never knew I needed.’

Taron stayed quiet as she talked, his eyes trained on her the entire time. She was beautiful, a true goddess and he was beyond thankful that he got to be a part of her life. Even if it was just for a short while. He kept eye contact the entire time, wanting her to know that he was really listening to every word she was saying.

‘How long have you lived here?’ Taron loved her soft Mancunian accent which held a hint of something else. ‘You seem like a proper local.’

‘Pretty much my entire life. I moved from Wales when I was four but this is all I can remember so it’s like it’s been home my entire life.’

Amelia was just as in love with Taron’s accent as he was hers. He spoke slowly, a lot slower than anyone she’d met before. Every syllable falling so effortlessly from his lips. She truly heard every word that he said to her, and she knew that she would do whatever he asked simply because she was entranced by his voice. Like he was a siren beckoning her.

‘How long have you worked at the bed and breakfast?’ She didn’t want to probe into Taron’s life but she wanted to get to know him, and to find a topic of conversation for them both to delve into.

Taron took another sip of his drink, taking a little too much and almost choking on the alcohol. ‘Since I was 16. I started working every Saturday to earn a bit of money for myself and I used to just clean the tables in the dining room. But as I got older, the owners decided to give me a more permanent position. Most of the time I’m doing paperwork in the back office or working on the front desk.’

‘So if you’ve been working there since you were 16, how long is that exactly?’

‘Oh shit,’ Taron chuckled. ‘Almost 15 years.’

He could see Amelia doing the calculations in her head. ‘30,’ she whispered to herself.

‘30,’ Taron reiterated. ‘How about you? How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?’

‘I don’t mind,’ she grinned. ‘I’m a few months off of 30.’

A silence enveloped them. But it wasn’t a comfortable silence in the slightest. Neither of them knew what to say, too scared to make a fool of themselves. Even though they knew that they were friends. Neither of them knew the other’s relationship status, and they were too petrified to ask in case it wasn’t the answer they wanted to hear.

Taron opted to finish his drink completely when Amelia’s phone buzzed on the table in front of her.

From: Haz :)

Die you die on me? ;) x

Amelia read the text message he’d sent before once more, chuckling the same as she had the first time. Taron watched her in silence, seeing the way her eyes lit up as the soft laugh left her. She was truly mesmerising.

To: Haz :)

Lmao, fuck off Haz. I don’t bloody know how I put up with you sometimes x

From: Haz :)

You married me and I didn’t see you complaining! X

To: Haz :)

Haha, yeah don’t remind me. How’s promo going? X

From: Haz :)

Good! Not the same without my little mini sidekick though. Let’s audition together soon!! X

Taron coughed quietly, the last bit of his drink having burned his throat more than it had before. Amelia dropped her phone to the table again, moving her attention back to the man in front of her.

‘Sorry, it’s rude of me to have been on my phone.’

‘Don’t sweat it, we all get texts.’ Taron sounded genuine, his smile matching his words. ‘Listen, I should probably be headed home. It’s getting late and I’ve got a shift at the wildlife park tomorrow.’

Amelia nodded, scared that he was only leaving because she’d been too busy texting Harry to pay attention to the man in front of her. ‘You work at the wildlife park too?’

‘Yeah, that’s my main job. I work with the rhinos.’

‘That sounds…fun? I’ll let you get off, anyway. It was nice talking to you, Taron.’

‘You too, love.’

There it was again. The pet name that had her heart fluttering in her chest.

Taron stood up with a smile, grabbing his coat from next to himself and putting it on. With one final nod and a small wave, he was heading off, leaving Amelia on her own…again.

******

Recent history repeated itself the following morning. Amelia woke up feeling a little worse for wear after her evening of drinking with Taron at the pub. Thankfully it was nothing a couple of painkillers from the stash Taron had given her wouldn’t fix. She wrapped herself warm ready to head out for the day and headed downstairs for breakfast.

One of the things that everybody raved about when she’d asked for ideas of places to go during the day, was the wildlife park. Though at first she had turned her nose up at the idea of walking around in silence when it was cold out, finding out that Taron worked there was the push she needed to plan a day out.

The thought of bumping into him erupted a frenzy of butterflies in her stomach that she hadn’t had for a long while. There was something about him that she couldn’t put her finger on but she was drawn to his charismatic presence.

She had a pep in her step as she hopped off the last stair and into the foyer of the bed and breakfast where Connor sat at the desk. He sighed at the computer and let his head roll back on his neck.

‘Good morning, Connor,’ she smiled.

‘Morning, Amelia. You don’t happen to know how to fix a computer from the Jurassic period, do you?’

She shook her head with a laugh. ‘I’m afraid not. Sorry. At the first sign of it slowing down I would probably give up and just buy a new one. But I know that’s just my privilege. Seriously, how old is that thing?’

‘Too old,’ Connor sighed. ‘Breakfast is still on. There might not be any pancakes left though. Spencer always steals them when he doesn’t think anybody can see.’

‘I’m more than happy with toast,’ Amelia smiled. ‘I’ll see you later.’

‘See you later.’

******

The walk to the wildlife park was glorious. Rather than relying on her phone for directions, Amelia asked one of the locals and the way they sent her was beyond anything she had ever seen before. She walked over a tiny little bridge in the outskirts of the village and passed so many gorgeous brick houses. If she thought her walk through the meadow a few days before was like being in a fairytale, then she had no clue how to word the beauty of the walk to the wildlife park.

Field after field surrounded her, some with sheep and cows inhabiting them, and some completely empty. The odd couple were filled with winter flowers. She stopped multiple times just to enjoy the view and take in the beauty of the nature around her, untouched by city pollutants.

Walking down the narrow country lanes with only her own company made her realise why she’d taken the break in the first place. Long gone was the usual bustle of her usual, interview packed life. She was free to be whoever she pleased to be in the Cotswolds, and she was free to do whatever she wanted without the guilt of ignoring her responsibilities.

It was perfect.

It was pleasantly warm that day so her denim jacket and a scarf over a black hoodie was all she’d needed to keep herself cosy. There was still a chill to the air and she could feel her nose starting to tingle lightly but it wasn’t hard to deal with. Even her feet weren’t feeling the chill, which was novel.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket but she ignored it for a little while, taking the time she had to herself to truly bask in the beauty of the countryside. When it buzzed again, she sighed loudly and pulled it from her pocket.

From: Mama 🤍

Hi baby girl. Missing you lots xx

From: Mama 🤍

How are you finding it? Is everyone being nice to you? I hope so xx

Amelia smiled at her mum’s protectiveness. For as long as she could remember, her mum had asked if people were being nice to her. Sometimes it felt like her mum knew the vibe of someone before Amelia, even if they weren’t together. If truth be told, Amelia would be absolutely lost if it weren’t for her mum, her love and her support.

To: Mama

I miss you too, mama! It’s good though. Everyone is being nice and I’ve made a few friends. I’m just plain, old Amelia here xx

From: Mama

That’s amazing, bubba. Any cute guys? Xx

To: Mama

Mum!! No, there aren’t any cute guys! Xx

Lies.

There were lots of cute guys in Rivercliffe. But only one of them caught her eye. Not that she would openly admit that to her mum. It wouldn’t be worth the explosion of text messages and Facetimes she would get. If there was one thing her mum loved gossiping about more than what the neighbour had been buying in Sainsbury’s when she swore she was on a diet, it was talking about her daughter’s love life.

From: Mama

Don’t think I can’t see through your lies, Ami. you’ll have to tell me what he’s like soon xx

To: Mama

Mum, there literally isn’t anyone. I swear to you

From: Mama

Whatever you say. Have a good day, I love you xx

To: Mama

I love you too xx

Amelia shoved her phone back into her pocket and turned the corner onto Christopher Lane where Rivercliffe Wildlife Park sat proudly. The road leading up to the gates was completely clear and lined with trees. The ground was covered in a sea of warm coloured leaves that crunched under feet with each step.

It was idyllic and she stopped to snap a quick photo so that she could keep the memory forever. When she started walking again, her feet moved too fast for her body and she almost tripped a couple of times.

The house at the wildlife park, that doubled as a restaurant, was breathtaking. The light brick walls were covered in ivy and the window panes were decorated beautifully with flowers. It was as though someone had lifted the building out of a magazine and placed it there just for Amelia to fall in love with.

When she had researched secluded parts of England to stay for an extended period of time, she struggled to find somewhere that looked interesting. Even when she first saw links for the Cotswolds, she didn’t necessarily love the idea of being there. But the longer she was there, the more she fell in love with the place, and all of the tiny details.

A young gentleman a little younger than Amelia stepped out of the manor with his hands stuffed into his pocket and his eyes facing the floor. His lack of awareness of his surroundings became clear when he bumped into Amelia and she stumbled backwards.

‘I’m so sorry,’ a gravelly voice rushed out. ‘I should have been looking where I was going but I wasn’t and-’

‘Hey,’ Amelia interjected, ‘it’s okay. It happens to the best of us.’

‘I’m really sorry, I’m Elijah.’

He held his hand out for Amelia to shake and she obliged with a smile. ‘I’m Amelia.’

Elijah’s demeanour changed instantly when he heard her name. He stood up a little taller and pushed his shoulders back which puffed out his chest. And the corners of his mouth lifted into a small smirk.

‘Truly, truly sorry. I know this might sound forward but would you…maybe want to go for a drink with me?’

Anxious butterflies erupted deep in Amelia’s stomach at Elijah’s question. She took a minute step back and put on her best fake smile.

‘That’s very kind of you to offer but um…I’m seeing someone who I’m really interested in and so I’m okay, thank you.’

Elijah didn’t need to know that she hadn’t been seeing anybody since she broke up with Henry. For all he knew, she could have been in a long-term relationship as she was good at keeping her private life to herself.

‘I never said that I wanted to go on a date with you,’ he replied quickly. Too quickly for Amelia’s liking. ‘I just suggested taking a very talented, way too beautiful for her own good, girl out for a drink at the pub to welcome her to the village.’

‘And that was very kind of you to offer but I would rather not.’

Amelia grew more anxious the longer she stood with the stranger. There was something off about him but she couldn’t figure out what it was. Until he took a step closer to her, to which she instinctively took two steps back to create some space.

‘And I said-’

‘Look, mate, I don’t think it matters what you said. Amelia has said that she doesn’t want to go for a drink with you more than once so I think you’d better leave her alone.’

Kaine stood next to Amelia and looked at her to make sure she was okay before he turned back to Elijah. He stood there with a stern look on his face and watched as Elijah noticeably grew uncomfortable. He never responded though. He just shoved his hands in his pockets and walked down the road towards the village.

‘Thank you, Kaine,’ Amelia breathed when she knew that he wasn’t coming back.

‘It’s no problem. Are you okay? He didn’t try to hurt you or anything did he?’

She shook her head with a small smile. ‘Not physically. Emotionally I feel a little weary but I’m sure I’ll be okay once I walk around some.’

‘I really wish that I could stay and talk but if I don’t get inside now, I’m going to be late for work. I feel so bad though.’

‘Don’t,’ Amelia rushed out. ‘Get yourself into work and look after the animals. I promise I’m good. And I’ll tell you everything that happened the next time I see you at the pub. Because I’m going to need a drink.’

Kaine nodded with a chuckle before he grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly. He walked into the manor and Amelia watched as he walked through the door before she followed him inside.

The second she opened the door she froze.

In the very centre of the ceiling sat a grand chandelier that was covered in clear crystals. The light bounced from them and casted perfect, dancing shapes onto the walls around it. At the very back of the foyer sat a floor to ceiling window that looked out onto the animal enclosures and the members of staff who were looking after them that day.

Her attention soon shifted when she spotted the person she had hoped to see. Taron stood in the middle of one of the enclosures and even though he had his back to her, she knew that it was him with his green coat and black beanie.

Her feet moved before she could process what she was doing. She walked through the foyer and to the entrance of the gardens where she followed the light sandy path toward the man who captured her attention.

With each stop close to him, she could see more of him. His usual khaki coat covered his upper body and he wore a pair of red wellington boots. The beanie he wore looked too thin to keep him warm, and it contrasted with her white bobble hat. In his left hand he held a bright orange bucket from which he kept throwing bits of food across the floor to the two rhinos that were eating.

The two animals made Taron look tiny. Like an ant on a log. He was taller than Amelia so she could only imagine how small she would look if she were to stand that close to them. Not that she ever would.

As soon as Taron looked up from what he was doing and he locked eyes on Amelia, he threw his hand into the air with the biggest smile he could muster as he waved.

‘Amelia!’ He called happily.

She waved back before making her way to the fence that separated her from him and the two large mammals. When she got to the fence, Taron walked towards her, continuing to throw food on the floor.

‘How are you doing?’ He asked softly as he put the bucket on the floor and moved to a blue bag.

‘I’m good, thank you. I thought I could do with a change of pace today so decided to head over here.’

‘I know that one all too well,’ Taron responded as he pulled two carrots from the bag by his feet. ‘Have you looked around yet?’

Amelia shook her head. ‘I’ve only just gotten here. Saw you through the window and thought I could come and say hi before I look around.’

Taron nodded, turning around quickly to wave the carrots in the air. Amelia’s eyes grew wide as the rhinos started to bound towards her and Taron. She cowered behind Taron and grabbed the tops of his arms to pull her in front of him properly. She could hear him chuckle lightly and swatted him.

‘If you save me, I’d marry you if you wanted,’ she whisper-yelled, hiding behind him more.

The rhinos stopped dead in front of Taron and used their horns to nudge at his hands so that he would give them the carrots.

‘Here you do, Sally,’ he whispered as he gave away the first carrot.

Amelia side-stepped from behind him with her lips drawn into her mouth as she took a deep breath. Her cheeks turned a deeper shade of pink at the thought of hiding behind Taron but she also believed she had every reason to freak out when two large animals with horns were running towards her.

She could tell that Taron was trying to repress another chuckle with the way his face turned a little red. Even more so with the bitter chill of the air nipping at his skin.

‘Laugh all you want,’ she smiled, ‘but you were contemplating marrying me for a second, weren’t you?’

She winked at him as Taron’s smile dropped.

‘Do you want to give Pippa a carrot?’ He asked, clearly wanting to change the subject.

Amelia shook her head so fast that she started to get light headed and had to close her eyes for a second to readjust herself. When Taron tried to hand her the carrot, she took two steps back. She wanted to create as much distance between her and the rhinos as she physically could.

Taron couldn’t help but chuckle, no matter how hard he tried to. Though he could see the true terror behind Amelia’s eyes as she stared at him with ragged breaths.

‘Taron…’

‘There’s no way that they can hurt you,’ Taron offered quietly. ‘They are gentle giants.’

‘You say that but on,’ Amelia started as she held a finger in the air as if to punctuate her point, ‘they can spray over 16 feet behind them. Two, they were three literal tonnes and I don’t wish to be near one when it comes bounding over to me. And three, they communicate through their shit. Now I don’t know about you, but those don’t sound like the most amazing things in the world to me.’

Taron chuckled at Amelia and gave the rhinos another carrot each. ‘Okay but…one, they spray to mark their territory. Sally and Pippa are both females and have no reason to do that. Two, they might weigh a lot but these two really are gentle giants if they aren’t aggravated, which they aren’t. These two love a fuss and attention. And three, it’s the easiest way for them to communicate because they have such a good sense of smell. Before you leave Rivercliffe I’m going to get you to feed a carrot to Pippa at least. You’re going to love them.’

‘Ha! You wish.’

‘These two are soft as snow, honestly.’

‘Taron, I’m unsure as to whether you know this or not, but snow is very, very sharp and painful. It isn’t soft in the bloody slightest. That being said, I would much rather it snow and I be stuck here than feed these two. No offence, ladies, you are very gorgeous angels I’m sure, but I’m good with keeping my distance.’

Taron wasn’t sure whether he had ever been so endeared by someone before in his life. The way that Amelia took another step back while moving her hands in a way to show just how much she wanted to move away from them made him smile to himself.

‘I’ll let you tell me about them though,’ she said through a smile, finally happy with the space between her and Sally and Pippa.

‘So this,’ Taron said as he gave the larger of the rhinos another carrot,’ is Sally. She’s Pippa’s mum. She’s been here since she was three. Lisa, who owns the park, rescued her from near poaching and she’s been here since.’

‘Oh wow. What a sweet angel.’

Taron looked at Amelia as though she had three heads. ‘You’re calling her a sweet angel when you’re standing metres away from her and you refuse to feed her?’ He asked through a confused chuckle.

‘I’m going to refer back to my list.’

‘Okay, okay, nevermind,’ he laughed. He gave the second rhino a carrot. ‘This is Pippa, Sally’s baby. She’s a little under two. I actually helped Sally when she was in labour. That was an amazing experience.’

The way that Taron spoke about the rhinos, with his infamous smile plastered on his face, had Amelia’s heart rate increasing slightly. She never knew that she could admit someone the way she admired Taron. If she were brave enough to admit it, she would say that she wasn’t looking forward to not seeing him when she left.

While Taron handed out the rest of the carrots, he and Amelia continued to talk about the park and what Taron enjoyed about working there. He found it just as fascinating that she was interested in knowing more about it as she found learning about it. She was full of questions and constantly apologised for her onslaught of them. Though Taron told her that it was fine and that he enjoyed answering them.

Once all of the carrots were gone, Taron gave Sally and Pippa one last pet before he stepped out of the enclosure. He immediately walked over to Amelia and wrapped an arm around her shoulders to pull her in for a side hug.

‘Fancy checking out the other enclosures?’

Amelia smiled widely and nodded her head. ‘It’d be nice to have a tour guide. I don’t have any plans for the rest of the day anyway so it doesn’t matter if I’m longer than I thought I would be or anything.’

‘What are your plans for dinner tonight?’

‘I’m probably going to go to the pub again,’ she sighed. She was slowly starting to get fed up of going to the pub for tea every night but she didn’t know what else she could do. The longer she was in the village, the more she realised that she should have tried to book an airbnb somewhere instead.

‘I mean you could always, if you wanted to, come to mine for dinner sometime? I wouldn’t mind.’

Taron sounded like he was asking a question while also trying to make a statement. As though he didn’t know whether or not he was asking. Of course, he would have loved to have her over for dinner and to cook her a nice meal, but he also wouldn’t want her to feel uncomfortable in the slightest.

Amelia turned to him in disbelief. Her hat fell off her head and fell onto the floor by Taron’s feet and he bent down quickly to grab it. He picked a few twigs that had attached themselves to it off and threw them back onto the floor before passing it back to Amelia.

‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘But I wouldn’t ever want to put you out.’

‘Don’t be silly, I’d love to have you over! Come over tonight, if you’d like. I was planning on making a carbonara.’ He put on a fake, over the top Italian accent which made them both fall into laughter.

‘That’s one of my favourites,’ Amelia said once she’d stopped laughing.

‘Well I would love it if you would join me. I always make too much anyway.’

‘I’d love to, thank you. Would you like me to bring anything over? A bottle of wine or a dessert?’

Taron shook his head. ‘No, no. It’s fine, honestly.’

‘Amelia?’

Taron recognised Kaine’s voice coming from near the giraffe enclosure and he rolled his eyes.

Kaine jogged over to them and wrapped his arms around Amelia to hug her. Taron stepped back and watched the exchange. He noticed the way that Amelia hugged Kaine back a little tighter, bunching his top in her fists at the bottom of his back.

Taron wasn’t regularly a jealous person and he prided himself on not being jealous. But when it came to Amelia it was as though he wasn’t himself. Everytime he managed to get her on his own, just the two of them, someone managed to steal her attention from him. It was as though everyone and everything was out to get him and keep her away from him.

‘How are you feeling after earlier?’ Kaine asked sincerely when he pulled away from the hug.

‘I feel better now, thank you. Taron managed to distract me from the whole situation by almost getting me killed by rhinos,’ she chuckled, nudging Taron’s shoulder. She missed the way his face dropped with concern at Kaine’s question.

‘Sally and Pippa? They’re gentle giants.’

‘That’s what I said,’ Taron added.

‘Well, I’m glad you’re feeling better. I’ll see you later, Amelia. Taron.’

Taron nodded at Kaine with a fake smile that only lasted a couple of seconds. ‘Kaine.’

#taron egerton imagines #taron egerton sex #taron egerton #taron egerton imagine #taron egerton fanfiction #taron x reader #taron egerton blurbs #ETTC #my writing

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lessersole · 2 years ago

Text

The Millican Method

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem Reader

Summary: Reader has a headache, Bucky wants to help

Word count: 1.2k

A/N: One of my new year’s resolutions was to get back into writing fics for the first time in waaaay too long. Posting these mostly to keep myself accountable since they’re likely to be pretty bad, especially at first, but if anyone reads, I hope you enjoy! This was inspired by a recent multi-day migraine and Sarah Millican's comedy bit about getting rid of headaches :)

Warnings: brief non-explicit references to (f)masturbation, headache descriptions (maybe worth a warning?)

You felt it the moment you woke up. A pulsing heat behind your eyes and a pressure that felt like your skull was clamped in a vice. While all you wanted was to stay in the darkness of your bedroom, you knew calling in sick to work the first week back after a vacation wouldn’t look good. With a groan you reluctantly choked down some painkillers and struggled into your office at Avengers headquarters, hoping the headache would fade away.

A few hours later, you knew you’d made the wrong decision. The light from your computer screen felt like shards of glass pushing into your brain, and every noise like a hammer blow to your sensitive head. Squinting under the fluorescent lights, you asked your boss if you could go home, and after pointing out how terrible you looked, she agreed.

Keeping your head as still as possible, and your eyes as closed as you could while still being able to navigate to the exit, you were oblivious to your surroundings until a gentle hand touched your arm just as you stepped into the parking lot.

“Hey,” Bucky’s deep voice was soft, warm and so soothing to your sore head that you couldn’t filter your reaction to the Avenger you were secretly crushing on, and you sighed, closing your eyes and unconsciously leaning into him.

“Hey, Bucky. You’ll have to talk to someone else if you want the report on the Atlanta mission, I’m just going home.”

“I heard - you’re sick,” His face creased with concern. “Should you be driving? It looks like you can barely keep your eyes open.”

You opened your eyes a few millimetres to look up at him.

“I can technically open my eyes, I’m just choosing not to at the moment,” you smiled weakly, “but I’ll drive carefully, don’t worry.”

Bucky frowned, “Look, I’m free for the rest of the day, and you really don’t look well. Let me take you home. I can get you anything you need, and you can just rest and get better.”

Bucky’s concern was touching. You’d worked with him on a few projects and become friends at after-work drinks with the team, which he’d first been dragged to by Sam, but later attending willingly on his own. Normally you’d jump at the chance for some time alone with him - even if it was just a ride home - but that part of you that lit up whenever he was around wanted desperately to impress him, and you knew you weren’t at your best right now.

“Thanks Buck, but you really don’t have to,” you mumbled, eyes closing again.

“What if you get worse?” Bucky asked, “Do you have someone to look after you?”

“I won’t get worse, it’s just a headache - I just need to get home and the Millican method will sort me out.”

“The Millican method?”

You froze. Being ill made you slow, and you hadn’t filtered your words. The fact that you were going to go home, take more painkillers and masturbate really wasn’t something you wanted to explain to Bucky.

“Uh, never mind, forget I said that.”

Bucky was looking at you curiously, a half smile twisting at his lips, “Well either way, you said you just need to get home and I can help with that. I insist.”

With that you gave up on your half-hearted efforts to dissuade him, and sighed contentedly as he took your keys and guided you to your car with a light hand on your lower back.

Bucky drove smoothly and silently, allowing you to just close your eyes and try to ignore the pain. As he parked in front of your building and helped you out of the car, he asked again if you needed anything.

“Let me at least get you some take out, then you don’t have to worry about cooking,” he insisted.

“No, please, you’ve already done more than you need to,” you protest, not wanting to be a burden, “I have some…” you think back to your bleary survey of your near empty kitchen that morning, “An apple?” you finish lamely, too ill to come up with a lie.

Bucky chuckles, “Right, well, that’s not really a meal. Just head inside, I’ll be back soon with something a bit more substantial.”

Knowing you won’t win this one - and not really wanting to - you do as he suggests and head into your apartment.

A while later you’re roused from the blanket nest you’ve settled into on the couch by a soft knock on your door. Opening it, you’re greeted by a smiling Bucky, a pizza box propped between his metal hand and shoulder, and a small gift bag hanging from his right hand.

“So I brought pizza,” he explains, entering your apartment and setting it on your kitchen counter, “I thought ‘everyone likes pizza’ and you can have this hot or cold, so no need to re-heat even if you don’t want it now.” He turns towards you with a shy grin, “And, uh, I Googled the Millican method.”

Your eyes widen and his grin spreads, “So I got you something to make that easier too.” He hands over the gift bag.

The blood that’s been pounding agonisingly in your head rushes to your cheeks, and you bite your lip nervously as you take the bag from him and peek inside. Next to a pack of Advil is a very well-reviewed and very expensive vibrator.

You look back up at Bucky with a shocked half-smile, and huff out a slightly amazed laugh, not knowing what to say to the supersoldier who just bought you a sex toy.

“The woman in the shop said this gets the best, and uh, quickest results,” he tilts his head, still grinning, “Want you to have a speedy recovery, you know. I’m hoping to see you at Friday drinks.”

“This is…Bucky, this is too much -”

“Nope,” he steps towards you, shaking his head, and takes the bag from your hands, setting it on the coffee table next to you, “It is absolutely not too much. Not for you. And I’m not taking it back!”

You can’t help laughing at the idea of Bucky Barnes, a superhero from the 40s, waiting in line for a refund on an unwanted dual action suction vibrator.

“Well, ok - thanks, I guess,” you laugh again, still blushing, “and I guess I owe you.”

Bucky smiles wolfishly at you, “We’ll see.” He leans over and presses a kiss to your cheek before heading for the door. He pauses as he leaves, and before shutting the door behind him, he turns, his eyes glancing down your body before returning to your face. “Feel better,” he winks, “and have fun.”

Not long later your headache is gone, but your mind is still full of Bucky. Blissed out and smiling at the device he picked out for you, you start to think that maybe being ill isn’t so bad, as long as he’s around to look after you.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky fluff #bucky x reader #one shot fic

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scarluxia · 10 months ago

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Today in therapy

I scheduled my therapy appointments for 9:30 a.m. because it forces me to get a jump-start on my day. This way, I have to get up, get ready, and get some fresh air instead of being a lump at home. I don't know if I like it so far, but anyway...

Today I discussed the logistics and arguments between Loki and me regarding our respective job searches. He wants to do things that build towards starting his own delivery service partnership with Amazon. I want to work in an office. I'm qualified for office administration, but I've taken some time off work for health and family reasons. My goal is to move to a three-bedroom, either house or apartment, in Walnut Creek. I'll be closer to my best friend, in a nice part of the state, and each member of the family will have his own room.

I've been offered an interview in San Francisco. Loki didn't want me to take it and argued very strongly against it. Initially I turned it down, but then I changed my mind because he's the one who doesn't want me to deal with the commute. I have no problem with it.

The thing is, there's a bit of a struggle based on who gets hired first. If I get a job first, then he has to make arrangements to pick up our kid from preschool. If he gets a job first, then I have to fit my schedule around him. He's argued that I'll burn out from trying to work full-time, that I won't like the commute, that I'll be stressed out when I get home, etc. etc. etc., things that everyone in America who doesn't have a positive attitude towards work has to deal with.

I thought he would be employed before I would, or that there would be more opportunities in our current city. I got an interview before he did and I probably would have gotten the job if I hadn't been, well... flaky. I did apologize for it and schedule another interview, but my hopes aren't high. He refuses to file for unemployment because he thinks he'll be hired soon. He doesn't want me applying us for food stamps for the same reason.

If I went back to school and took classes in accounting or paralegal certification, I'd be more qualified for a wider range of jobs. School costs money, though, but if I applied for food stamps and CalWORKS, the latter might pay for my schooling. I just don't understand why he should have the freedom to follow his goals but I'm being discouraged from trying to make myself more valuable. Well... actually, that's one of the things I went over in therapy.

I got very frustrated with my therapist for talking about teamwork. I consider myself a team player. I've never discouraged anything Loki's wanted to do, at least on a professional front. He's had big dreams, big ideas, big goals, since I met him, except when he's gotten demoralized and stuck in this rut of thinking, "Nothing's ever going to work out because it's not working out right now when I want it to." But he's thinking so much about his own journey and just expecting me to work around him that there's no room for him to think about the team. He thinks that he's seeing the big picture, but restricting me from advancing my education is the opposite of that. He's thinking very narrowly about what he wants to do, but if I call him on it, then he'll deny it and talk in circles and all these frustrating things that I hate. I hate arguing with him because it's never about actually solving the problem, it's about doing things his way.

Anyway, during this conversation with my therapist, I had the headache that wouldn't quit, even though I've taken painkillers for it. I've had this headache since yesterday. I told her where it was and she said it's because that's the part of the brain that's concerned with higher executive functioning and planning. Well, that makes sense. I thought I was just hungry/thirsty, but this has been a fairly stressful few weeks.

I'm actually really mad about this because, I went on a trip in November, a very expensive trip considering our budget. I told him about it in advance. I told him how much I needed to take with me. He ended up quitting his job within a couple of weeks before the trip, meaning we were without an income. Then he went back and got reinstated. Now he got himself fired by basically telling the owner of the company that she's making a bad decision by not using his ideas. Then he refused to file for unemployment and told me not to file for food stamps. He's telling me not to try to go back to school because it's not worth it and remember what happened last time? (Yes, and I'm no longer in regular contact with the person who was distracting me last time. I'm also more willing to take a C if it means passing the class.)

So anyway, our grantor wants us to pay our own rent and be self-sufficient, which is fair because he's been paying our rent for three years. I want us to move into a three-bedroom apartment in a nicer city, or at least adjacent to a really nice city (which would, incidentally, be much closer to San Francisco or Oakland, where all the jobs are). In order to do that, we need a dual-income of about $55/hour. We are not in a position to be turning down work. It's vulgar to state it like that, but it is how it is. I want our kid to be in a school he likes and, hopefully, we might be able to find one that isn't thousands of dollars a month in another county. I'm looking at what we need in order to make these things happen.

Loki is looking at what Loki needs to make his goals happen. Now, yeah, he'd like to be able to pay for our kid's schooling too, but not if it means me working upstate. Once again, I have no problem with the commute. Sure, I'll be waking up early and coming home late, like I'd be doing if I was going back to school full-time. This doesn't bother me. It bothers him for some reason.

My therapist asked me if Loki wants me to succeed or fail, and I said... it's more like he wants me to succeed on his terms. He wants me to fail or be discouraged doing it my way so that I'll agree to do it his way, and unfortunately, that's a mindset I grew up with, so I haven't really figured out what I'm truly capable of. I took office admin because I already knew I could type and file stuff, and picking up SAM wasn't hard by any means. Going to school for psychology the first time and business the second time were the only times I've really challenged myself, and I dropped out of both because I wasn't doing it perfectly. Well, now that I'm going to be 33 in a couple weeks and I don't really know how to do much that's useful on a large scale, like, say, accounting or paralegal duties, and it's been ten years since I've received a certification in anything, I'm more willing to just... try something and see if it works out. If it doesn't, at least I've given it a shot.

But then of course, if it doesn't work out, he'll be there with a steaming pile of "I told you so", and that's really annoying to have to consider, so I've chosen to disregard it to the best of my ability.

My therapist says he seems threatened by the idea of me becoming self-sufficient because it'll mean I'm likelier to leave him. Well... the thing is, when he was working, we were getting along fine for the most part. I know he misses working and he doesn't want to just sit round doing nothing, but that shouldn't prevent me from finding work. Like I said, we need to be dual-income in order to achieve our larger goals. He'd also like to move out of our current city, though he's changed his mind about moving outside of California.

He's compared my casting a wide net of possibilities to "running round like a chicken with [my] head cut off". I think that's a very disparaging way of looking at it, and I completely disagree. I enjoy learning. I enjoy being useful. No-one's asking him to be housebound. I think there's a cognitive disconnect between him accepting that we both need to find work, and him telling me I shouldn't take this job because of distance or location. He's said "I'm not driving you to or picking you up from San Francisco."

Buddy. We live by a Caltrain station. That's not a problem for me. Well, Redwood City and San Francisco, that's Caltrain. Santa Cruz, that's the 17. Oakland, Lafayette, and Walnut Creek are the BART. I know how to get around. I know I'll be getting up at 6 to get there by 8:30 or 9. I know me clocking in early will likely be appreciated and that, if I work till 5, he's going to have to seethe, cope, and make sure he can pick up the small one before 6 because I won't be home till 7 or 8.

If I'm not being a team player at this point, it's because he's not, but I'm not going to let it stop me anymore. If I'm offered an interview, if I'm offered a job, I'm taking it and he can work around me since I had to work around him for a year, and before that, I was working part-time.

I think our grantor will understand if I want to go back to school for business, accounting, or law if it'll broaden my career aspects... just as long as someone else is paying for it (Calworks). Hell, that's what I should have been doing once I was medically cleared to work again. I hate to keep secrets, but if I want to put our family in a better situation without having to deal with static, I'm going to have to do things the way that's the most practical to do them, and that means either taking what I'm offered or pursuing further education.

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hellycatto · 11 months ago

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wisdom teeth recovery journey | d1-4

I got my wisdom teeth out this Friday - it was a pretty scary experience but it had to be done!

When I was in the process of applying to medical school, so many people asked me why I wouldn’t consider dentistry instead. My honest answer? Teeth make me so uncomfortable! Looking at the Xray of my OWN teeth with all the roots made me feel uneasy.

My teeth were completely impacted and at a 90 degree angle. The dentist also said that there was a gap between the wisdom teeth and my other teeth, meaning that it was imperative to get them out ASAP. I got them all out at once, it took almost 3 hours for the entire process, and this was done under LA.

The surgery wasn’t too scary. The only painful bit was the anaesthesia injections. Afterwards, I couldn’t feel much other than the pressure and I could hear the constantly drilling of my teeth! Once everything was done, I got 2 pieces of gauze of bite on, a pack of painkillers and antibiotics to munch on.

day 1

The first thing I did was go to the supermarket to buy some jelly! My mouth was so numb that I couldn’t feel anything and couldn’t manage to swallow - blood was dripping from my lips onto my favourite shirt.

When I reached home, I started a fever, and so I propped myself up at a 45 degree angle (as recommended by the internet to reduce swelling), and went to bed for the rest of the day. It was really painful to move my mouth to speak or swallow initially, but I finally choked down some water for my painkillers and antibiotics. My mom bought me lots of soy milk and blackcurrant juice, and I survived off that for the day.

day 2

Still really swollen and sore - I felt like a Lego figurine with a square head! I spent most of the day dozing off and recovering, but also managed to choke down some rice congee and Japanese grape flavoured jellies. At this point, I hadn’t brushed my teeth for 2 days and my mouth tasted absolutely terrible. I was also told not to rinse my mouth, so I could just taste so much blood and I hated it.

day 3

This is when things started looking up! I managed to challenge myself with more food - I was absolutely starved for proper food at this point. My dentist recommended 2 weeks of a soft diet, but I really needed food. For breakfast, I had lots of almond milk and chocolate milk, and ripped some soft bread rolls into bite sized pieces. For lunch, my family headed to a Chinese restaurant and the food was amazing! I had some seafood broth with white rice, a little bit of tofu and some duck by chopping everything up into manageable bits and chomping with my front teeth. For dinner, I had pumpkin soup with a bread roll. Unfortunately, I had a pounding headache and my stomach was hurting so much from my improper eating and sleeping schedule in the last few days, so I took some painkillers and retired to bed really early. It was a tough night!

day 4

The first thing my mom said to me this morning was: you can speak! The soreness and swelling has gone down, and I’m feeling braver about trying new foods. For breakfast, my mom headed to a brunch place where I ordered some soup and had an iced tea. The iced tea was so good, I had it with almond milk & lots of caramelised sugar. I also had a vegan banana bread that I devoured.

I don’t know if it’s because of my teeth, but I get so tired so easily! After our brunch adventure, I went home to rest for a little bit, and had some chocolate almond milk & soft chocolate bread for lunch. For dinner, I felt really really brave! I made some frozen fried food in the air fryer and I could feel my stitches at the back of my mouth. I also finally dared to brush my teeth yesterday and today, just extremely gingerly. I also rinsed my mouth. I’ve been told you can’t spit out anything, so I just let the water drip out of my mouth in an unsightly fashion.

overall

The one very good thing about getting all your wisdom teeth out at a time is that you’ll never have to do it again, ever! Although with my luck, it’s entirely possible that new teeth are already growing in.

Just kidding! But I’m glad that I got this done and it wasn’t too torturous an experience. Just be prepared to give yourself lots of slack and rest, and to give up your favourite foods for a couple of days.

Some lifesavers was having an abundance of milk and sweet drinks by my side, and lots of pillows to prop yourself up in bed.

how did your wisdom teeth removal journey go? if you haven’t done it, what are some questions you have? and if you don’t have wisdom teeth, how does it feel like to be part of a favoured group?

That’s all from me, and all the best to everyone!

Love, Hellycatto <3

#wisdom teeth #medicine #dentistry #recovery #plastic surgery #storytime

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unnuevosoltransformalarealidad · 3 years ago

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Migraine

Credit: Pic found on Pinterest | Dividers from @firefly-graphics

Summary: You’ve been hit with an unexpected migraine; it was so unexpected and strong that you had to ask for help. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader x Sam Winchester Warnings: Migraines, headaches, pain, crying because of pain, vomiting, sickness, PMSing, mention of shark week. Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: This is purely self-indulgent. This is something that happened to me two weeks ago. I suffered a lot while going through this. I'm doing fine now, just wished I had Sam and Dean with me to take care of me.

Headaches were something you were used to getting them at least once a week. It was something pretty common for you to have them since you always had issues with your sight. But the first time you experienced a migraine, you thought you were going to die. You didn't know how to deal with it since what you were trying to do to ease the pain wasn't working. You asked some friends how to handle them and they gave you some tips and tricks that might be helpful for the future. You needed to be prepared for the next migraine if it ever happened again.

But then, what you thought were occasional headaches became constant. You started to get them every two or three days. You were constantly feeling pressure behind your eyes after having a long day of work, your neck and back were stiff most of the day, your sleeping schedule changed because of these symptoms. Everything was changing and you didn't know what to do to handle them. You tried to keep doing what your friends had shared with you, but these symptoms were reluctant to disappear. You spent almost a week with your symptoms and they never left, so you did what you thought was best, you ignored them and learned to live with them. It was the best thing to do. You thought you had finally figured it out and had everything under control. Keyword being thought. You weren’t expecting what came next.

Monday morning, the start of a new week of work. You woke up feeling great, in a very good mood, ready to rock the day. Unfortunately, an hour after you’d started you got overwhelmed with the number of things you had to do, triggering your anxiety. Because of the stress you’ve put yourself through, a small headache started to form at the back of your head. To prevent it from getting worse, you took a painkiller and kept with your day.

Tuesday was the same thing, stress related to work, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed and the headache made its appearance once again. Wednesday was your worst day, your neck was stiff, your shoulders were hurting, the headache was getting stronger, you were still anxious and overwhelmed. Your body was screaming for a break. That night, right before bed, you took a stronger painkiller, knowing it was going to help you sleep.

On Thursday, most of your symptoms were gone. Finally, you were able to feel like yourself again. The headache was still there but it was barely noticeable, you knew that by the end of the day it was gone. Friday started okay but as the day went by, everything went downhill. The stress all over again, the anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, the headache showed up again. By this point of the week, you were kinda worried, you've been having a headache for five days now, it's true, there were days that it didn't bother you much, but you could feel it. You just hoped the weekend was going to be better than your week.

The weekend arrived, you've already planned a few things to do that you've been postponing for a while now, you were excited for the weekend.

Yeah, right, no. That was not going to happen.

Saturday morning started with strong cramps, shark week started; you sighed, now everything made sense. Your body was PMSing and you didn't register it. Your period was a few days early, but now that you knew exactly what was going on everything was going to get better for real. You were aware that on Sunday you weren't going to do too many things, it was the second day of your period and it was always the worst day. You took this as an excuse and did nothing, you gave your body the break it deserved. You just spent the day in bed, chilling for a bit.

That night, getting ready for bed was a difficult task, you could barely keep yourself upright. You were very dizzy, your head was pounding, you felt like your skull was being squeezed, you felt like the lights were burning your eyes. Your body was showing symptoms of fighting a fever because you were shivering so bad but you were feeling hot at the same time. Your dizziness was making you feel nauseous, at this point, you just wanted a restful night of sleep.

When you were ready to go to bed, you put a wet cloth around your eyes, most of the time the coldness helped to relax your eyes and forehead and let you sleep a bit more comfortably, but not tonight. As soon as your head hit the pillow, everything worsened a hundred times, by now you didn't know what else to do, you just started to cry because of the pain.

You checked your body temperature, you were still shivering and feeling hot at the same time. Thankfully, your fever wasn't high, just a little bit. But since you were cold and didn't have a fever too high, you covered yourself with just two thin blankets to keep your body somewhat warm to avoid shivering too much. You alternate the wet cloth between your eyes and neck, keeping your eyes closed and remaining calm. Now was not the time to panic, everything was going to get even worse if you let your fear win.

You felt your body starting to relax, you could feel the sleepiness taking your body, you were ready to fall asleep, when a wave of nausea hit you that made you run to your bathroom fast, not minding the dizziness your body was fighting for getting up too fast. As soon as you reached your Bathroom, you knelt in front of the toilet bowl, and less than a minute later you were emptying your stomach. The dizziness was worse, you felt weak, you felt like you were ready to faint. You stayed there hugging the bowl for several minutes, waiting for the dizziness to pass. When you were able to move your body without feeling dizzy, you got up from the floor and washed your face, brushed your teeth, and went back to bed. It was the first time you were feeling like this, what were you supposed to do? You were scared. You needed to ask for help.

With the little strength you had, you grabbed your phone and sent a text asking for help.

YN: Hey De, you awake? DW: Hey sweetheart. Yeah, what happened? YN: I need you

You left your phone aside; the brightness of the screen was making your headache worse. You heard some steps approaching and your door opening. Dean entered your room right in time to hear you sob.

"Hey, hey, what happened? What's going on?" Dean asked you, trying to touch your forehead but instead, touching the wet cloth. "Are you feeling okay?" You were about to answer him when another wave of nausea hit you, you pushed him aside and ran again towards your bathroom, getting right in time to empty what was left, at this point you were sure you didn't have anything else.

Dean was right behind you, he grabbed some of the hair that was loose and caressed your back, "it's okay honey, let it all out" Like you did before, you leaned back hugging the bowl, you were extremely weak to even get up. You could feel how your body was slowly giving up to exhaustion. "No, no, sweetheart. Come on, hang in there for a little bit" Dean said, lifting you up from the floor. He helped you to wash your face and brush your teeth. Your eyes were barely open, you were ready to give in. Your body started to shiver again, but you seemed to not have a fever. Dean picked you up and took you to bed again. He laid you down and covered you with just one of the covers you had.

*Dean's POV*

I grabbed her already damp cloth, took it to her bathroom, and wet it again, doing the same thing with my own. When I got back to her room, I found her silently crying again. I just knew she was in pain. I could see it in her features. I sat next to her and she whimpered, it broke my heart seeing her suffering. I put one of my hands around her head and lifted it gently, I put one of the wet cloth around it and placed her head back on her pillow as gently as possible. Grabbing the other cloth, I placed it over her eyes and forehead. I started to gently stroke her cheek, I wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible. I grabbed my phone and texted Sam and Cass, after that, I reduced the brightness of the screen and put it on buzzing. After a little while I saw that her breathing was even, she probably exhausted herself to sleep.

A little while later, Sammy entered slowly into her room. "Hey, Dean. How is she doing?" "She just fell asleep; I don't know what's going on yet. Seems to be a really bad stomach bug or a really strong migraine" I said and Sammy nodded. "Go to the store or a pharmacy and bring some medication for her, please" "Yeah, sure" Sammy agreed, before leaving I said, "and bring something for the nausea too." "If you need something else, call. Be right back" Sammy finally said when he left her room.

I could see she wasn't fully asleep; she was struggling in her sleep; something was bothering her. "Hey, sweetheart, what's it?" I asked her, caressing her arm, "I need to go to the bathroom" she said, "are you going to get sick?" I asked but she shook her head. I helped her to her bathroom and waited outside the door. When Sammy entered the room carrying a bag from the pharmacy, we heard a thud coming from the other side of the door. We rushed to the bathroom and opened the door. We found her lying on the floor looking a lot paler than before. I went to wake her up and her skin was all sweaty and she was burning up, her fever might have spiked up and she was very weak.

I lifted her from the floor and she groaned, "Hey sweetheart, come on, open those beautiful eyes for me. Can you do that for me?" She weakly opened her eyes and gave me a small smile, but her eyes closed a second later. "No, no, honey, I need you awake. Sammy brought you the good stuff" I told her laying her down on her bed.

Sam was at the end of her bed waiting for you to wake up. I helped you to sit up, once I knew you weren't going to fall, I let Sam get closer. He handed you some pills and an uncapped water bottle. She took it and thanked him for it. I gave her some juice, "drank it slowly. We don't want you to get sick again"

I helped her to lay in bed, but she was still looking uncomfortable. I sat next to her and asked her "what is it, honey?" She laid her head on my lap, closed her eyes and a few tears fell. I started to caress her hair and a few minutes later I saw her forehead relaxed, but she was still silently crying, clearly, the pain meds hadn't kicked in yet. Sammy was sitting on your desk, watching you attentively.

I started to move her slowly, Sam came to the other side of the bed and held her, so I could get inside the bed. Once I was settled down, he helped me to lay you down over me. Most of your body was on top of mine, your head was settled directly on my chest over my heart. As soon as you got comfortable, your hands were clutching my t-shirt like a lifeline. I could still feel your body shivering, your fever hasn't broken down and the meds hadn't kicked in, you probably must've been in a lot of pain.

It took some time for the meds to finally kick in, but once they did, you were able to fall asleep. "I think she's out" I whispered to Sam, "do you mind if I stay in here too? I'm worried about her" Sam told me and I just nodded, I was worried for her too, none of us had seen you suffering like this before.

A few hours later, I woke up all sweaty, my clothes and hers were stuck together. Her fever might have spiked up again, I could tell she was in pain, every time her body shivered you whimpered. "Sammy" I called and he woke up "what?" He approached us. "Check her temperature, I think it went up again" Sam did what I asked and her fever has gone up just a little. Probably the meds helped a little.

"Sweetheart, wake up" she groaned, "it's time for you to take the pills again," I said and sat up for a little. She was still very clingy to me; I could barely move without causing any pain. I didn't care I was all sweaty and disgusting, I just wanted her to be fine. This time, the meds kicked in faster, because after some minutes she was out like a light. Sammy took the, now, damp clothes and wet them again. Sam placed one to your neck and before placing the other one over your forehead, I kissed it. I just hoped you were all better in the morning.

Tag List is OPEN (DM or Link in bio)

Supernatural Tag List @wonderfulworldofwinchester | @nancymcl |

Dean Winchester Tag List @akshi8278 | @sexyvixen7 | @idkhowbutifoundyou |

#winchester brothers x reader #sam x reader x dean #sam x dean x reader #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #sam winchester x reader #sam x reader #spn fic #spn fanfiction #jensen ackles x reader #jared padalecki x reader

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beggingwolf · 2 years ago

Note

for the dialogue fic: “I can help with that” <3

A week after the season ends, Zhenya goes under the knife.

He wakes up to the familiar sensation of the world spinning underneath him; he closes his eyes as soon as he sees the bright ceiling lights and swallows down the nausea that gets worse as he gets older.

He can't feel his knee. It's the first time he's been pain-free in almost a year. He bears the stomach-churning painkillers just for that.

The private security service he uses drives him home, and Zhenya falls asleep on his couch, his knee sloppily elevated on the armrest, his vision blurry and a pounding headache building in his skull. He's no stranger to pain but he can feel his age.

He starts dreaming as soon as he closes his eyes. He hears his front door open, and a familiar voice call out his name. He smiles.

He wakes to pain and noise in the kitchen.

A pot clangs. The sound is so loud it rattles Zhenya's brain. A warbling whistle rises and falls.

"Mama?" he asks before he can stop himself. The whistle cuts off.

"You awake?" Sid asks.

So he's still dreaming. Zhenya slumps back down into the beaten cushions of his couch. He shouldn't be in this much pain in his sleep. He'll need to take more pills when he wakes.

"Bud?" Sid asks from right above him, and Zhenya flails.

His bad leg goes flying. Sid swears. It's not a dream at all.

Sid doesn't leave.

Three days later, Sid is still letting himself in during the mornings and staying until the dinner dishes are in the washer and the sun's gone down.

Zhenya nags him about it. Sid, you need pet to take care of? You want baby to watch? Go home, go home.

He feels lonely at night, when he's the only person in the house. He tries not to think about it very much.

Sid gets sick of cooking before Zhenya gets sick of Sid's five failsafe recipes. They eat Thai food for dinner and Sid takes more than his fair share of the spring rolls. Zhenya wipes peanut sauce from his chin and leans back in his seat.

"What?" Sid asks through his mouthful of noodles.

"How long you stay?"

Sid slurps up the last of his noodles and dumps his fork into the plastic container. He reaches for his bottle of water when he answers Zhenya's question.

"Until you kicked me out, I guess. I don't mind staying around, you know. You start rehab in what, two weeks?"

"Yes."

"In Florida?"

Zhenya shrugs. He hadn't been thinking that far, knowing the uncertainty would make his injured wallowing a bit more satisfying.

"Two weeks, then," Sid says after a moment.

"You bored?"

"Nah. You've got a lot of TV channels."

Zhenya rolls his eyes at Sid, and then he glances out the big windows into the backyard, where—

"Hey, pool's needing some help, cleaning. You know guys to do?"

"Yeah, sure. I can help with that."

"Yes," Zhenya says, pleased, and thus his two weeks of officially bossing Sidney Crosby around begin.

Sid's a good sport about it. Zhenya finds a few random tasks a day to throw at Sid; Sid complains good-naturedly and gets them done. It's nice to hear the noises of someone else in his home, and even better to hear Sid's ever-running commentary. He's a chatty guy, and if he even thinks Zhenya is within earshot, he takes advantage of it.

Sid stays his first night three days later. He'd been outside, playing with the net and spare pucks Zhenya's left outside for a month and a half, and when he came in the sun had already set.

"Stay," was all Zhenya had to say. Sid took up residence in a guest room and didn't leave.

Zhenya waffles over buying plane tickets. He hovers his thumb over a ticket to Moscow, and then a ticket to Miami, because Russia feels too far away. He buys neither.

"You go home?" he asks Sid one night.

"Back to mine? I can."

"No, Canada."

"Oh. I guess, eventually. No rush. Lake's the same."

"You like the lake."

"Yeah," Sid says. He doesn't elaborate.

Zhenya hears Sid jerking off in the guest shower two days later. He thinks about it when he goes to bed.

Two days after that, Zhenya pulls out his favorite dildo and tries to stretch himself open. It's been too long; he doesn't do this during playoffs for bullshit superstition reasons, but worse than that is how his leg hurts too much to help him maneuver. He can't get his hips tilted the right way; his lube-slicked fingers slip on his own skin as he tries to work two fingers inside.

"Geno, what do you want for lun—"

Time stops in the moment that Sid's eyes land on Zhenya's body; his ruined, scarred knee and his fingers half-sunk into his hole.

"Oh," Sid says.

Zhenya's heart explodes inside his chest.

"I, uh, I can help with that."

#:)))#sidgeno #hockey rpf #tag game #ficlet

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mrwinterr · 4 years ago

Text

Over & Over

Pairing: Pornstar!Bucky Barnes AU x Pornstar!Female Reader

Summary: You’re an up-and-coming adult film star secretly eager to work with the popular Bucky Barnes, and with just the right connections, your paths cross much sooner than later.

Warnings: Adult themes. Smut 18+ (unprotected sex, vaginal penetration and instructional fingering, oral [male & female receiving], size kink, spit & cum play, a smudge of male dominance), dirty talk and language.

Disclaimer: I don’t know how the porn industry works; this was just written for fun.

Title Inspiration: “Over & Over” by Smallpools

A/N: After doping up on strong painkillers wasn’t enough, I thought releasing endorphins would help ease my headache, so once again watching porn inspired another fic. Idk. I’m a mess. Enjoy!

Slipping on your oversized sunglasses, you walk along the rectangular outline of the hotel’s lavish pool, to one of the vacant lounge chairs next to the redheaded goddess, whose wings you were taken under and could gratefully call a close friend. You hadn’t known a single soul when you packed up and moved west to Los Angeles at 18, but you knew you were destined for more than what your humdrum life back at home could offer.

The porn industry wasn’t your first choice at a career in entertainment, but the starving profession wasn’t paying the bills fast enough. You weren’t going to survive in L.A. another year juggling to pay for tuition and stay enrolled in acting school from the income of working menial jobs and booking small gigs. However, one minor role as an extra in a one-night stand sex scene of a TV show, you catch the eye of the multitalented adult film actress Natasha Romanoff.

It was pure coincidence she was also casted, playing a bigger role, of the same episode, but she saw more in you in your less than 15 seconds of fame than most casting agents did before offering you a chance to shadow her. You knew she looked familiar and you were no stranger to watching porn, but when you’re as down on your luck as you were, you went all in and soon enough countless scenes now under your belt within a year, you’re porn’s best female newcomer.

“There’s this year’s Best New Starlet!” Natasha proclaims loudly for almost everyone around to hear.

Lucky for you, the shades conceal the roll of your eyes at her comment as you kick off your flip-flops and remove the thin cover up to reveal your skimpy bikini. You dare look over at her in time to catch her mocking reaction, jaw dropped from your attitude.

“After all I’ve done for you,” she says, placing a hand to her heart, feigning hurt.

The pair of you laugh at your nonsense and after she helps you with applying the appropriate amount of sun care protection, you recline in your seats and attempt to soak up some sun. It was a much-needed break with the long stressful week of the award show now behind everyone. Your hard work had paid off and after all you did learn from the best.

Your predecessor before you, Natasha was also a former Best New Starlet, and now is a household name in pornography. She didn’t welcome a lot of people into her inner circle, but she had plans to one day direct and knew she had to find the next big thing before anyone else to take her place.

“Hello, ladies,” comes from the voice of this year’s Director of the Year and other close friend Wanda Maximoff.

“Hey Wanda,” you greet her by sitting up to give her a proper hug.

You met her through her twin brother, Pietro, who happened to be your first co-star and was very welcoming and caring to you. The twins took care of you during your first few months starting out. Much like Natasha did for you, you help her administer the same amount of sunscreen on her body.

“Congrats on your achievement,” she says wholeheartedly, looking over her shoulder at you as you finish up on her back, and even under the heat of the sun, she could still see the blush creep up on your face.

“She’s a natural, isn’t she?” Natasha comments casually, to which Wanda nods enthusiastically, only speeding up the process of the rose tints on your cheeks to spread all over your face. They were your biggest fans and supporters; you were so happy you could make them proud.

“I owe it all to the queen herself,” you say, downplaying your achievement and turning the attention to your mentor in Natasha. She scoffs at that and teases you about just taking the damn compliment. You put in the work; it was all you.

“Seriously, you deserved it,” Wanda says honestly, and you finally accept the praise.

“So, what’s next for miss Director of the Year?” Natasha asks leaning on a propped elbow, body facing towards you and Wanda.

“Well, I managed to finally book Bucky Barnes in an upcoming project…” she starts out, but the moment you heard his name slip from her lips, the rest almost didn’t matter.

Bucky Barnes was somewhat of a legend. There wasn’t a model or director that didn’t want to work with him. The man was downright gifted in every aspect and his work speaks for itself. Before you broke onto the scene, you’d gotten off to his videos, and only dreamed of one day starring in a scene with him, but you were still new to this world.

As a promising star, you had a long way to go and tons of plots, positions and people to still experience, so landing a role with someone like Bucky Barnes wasn’t entirely written in your plans any time soon. Then again, your first girl-on-girl scene was with your mentor herself, so anything could happen, right?

“I just haven’t found my girl yet,” was the next thing you pick up Wanda say the moment your head comes back from the clouds, “...I have all this momentum now that I want this to blow everyone away, especially Stark.”

Tony Stark was her rival. It was a friendly competition amongst friends. You hadn’t gotten the chance to work for him yet. He was a playful character and had directed some of the best adult films out there, Wanda just happened to be the better of the two this year…

“Sorry, I’m retired,” Natasha reminds her and repositions herself on her back.

“Fuck you,” Wanda says playfully to which Natasha responds with a finger in the air before she clarifies, “I was hinting at this year’s Best New Starlet…” and slyly looking in your directly.

“Me?” You ask incredulously. Your head can’t even start processing that you’re finally getting the opportunity to work with Bucky.

Wanda rolls her eyes at your obliviousness, “no, last year’s Best New Starlet. Hell no! Of course, you!” You respond in the same manner as your mentor, who is more than amused at you also following her lead, and flip Wanda off. Wanda snatches your hand to bring it away from her face, “I’m serious!”

“I-I don’t know, Wan,” a part of you is a little scared that you’re not going to be able to keep up with someone as established and with the star power as Bucky, “...like you said, you have all this momentum behind you. I don’t want to fuck this scene up because I don’t have a lot of experience.”

“Are you fucking kidding?” Natasha pipes up on the other side of you. “This is the perfect role for you!” She sees the questionable look on your face and sighs before explaining. “You’re a fresh face and rising star! People are lining up to book you, Stark included.”

“Nat is right. You’re a hot commodity now! I need someone who is a little inexperienced to mix with someone that is,” Wanda further explains her premise, “let him take the lead, but at your pace. I need it to be raw and passionate. People love that shit!” They were right, he had all the experience, and you were a fresh loveable face. It was the perfect combination.

You remain quiet for several seconds before Natasha rats you out, “and don’t even try to act like you don’t want to work with Barnes. This is your fantasy come to life.” Way to throw you under the bus like that…

There’s no denying your goal to work with him. He’d been in this business much longer than you had, you didn’t think your paths would ever cross on a set, but the opportunity couldn’t have presented itself in a more perfect point in your career.

The room is very pristine. White walls with a king size bed, also adorned in white sheets, fluffy pillows scattered at the top, minimal furniture around to make it look realistic, and the lighting was just right. Wanda had received a hefty budget after her recognition that’s for sure.

“Alright, girly, let’s get you on the bed!” Wanda happily directs.

You nod silently, remove your footwear and plop down on the center of the large mattress. You decide to leave your legs sprawled on one side of your body, settling on a bashful position. It’s not hard for you because although you agreed to do this and have done several scenes, internally, you’re freaking the fuck out. Unbeknownst to you, it’s all part of your charm; the innocence you somehow still radiated was an all too endearing quality and actually sexy.

Even your attire was pretty modest, opting for a more casual look with black leggings and a tight long sleeve that accentuates your figure and shows off the right amount of cleavage. It was something that you could easily wear out in public, which again was a part of your brand in being as natural as possible, but come the right circumstances, when it was time to roll you could turn on the right switch.

“We’ll start off like a typical casting interview before we bring Bucky in and then we’ll go from there. Sounds good?” She runs down the plan with you, fixing a few strands of flyaway hairs on your head before back away from the bed. With a thumbs up and a smile from you, she starts recording.

“Welcome, Best New Starlet of the Year!” Wanda greets from behind the camera.

“Hi,” you politely reply with your signature sweet smile and a wave to the screen.

These scenes start off with a small interview recounting your tale into the porn industry leading up to your recent achievement and even delving a bit into your personal life before the topic changes to your co-star.

“So, how excited are you to work with Bucky today?”

No matter how hard you practiced at keeping a straight poker face, that was something you were unable to master from Natasha, and the blush couldn’t be contained.

Fidgeting at the hem of your top, you open and close your mouth, trying to find the right words. You’re overly flustered at the thought of Bucky and he wasn’t even in front of you yet. You don’t want to sound like a fool and ruin the atmosphere. Wanda mouths words of advice from where she sat in the director’s chair, “be honest.”

“Um, I’m...nervous,” you say truthfully.

“Nervous?” She questions, urging you to elaborate.

“Yeah, he’s Bucky Barnes! He’s hot and he’s got so much experience. I’m kind of scared I’ll be boring,” you finish explaining and hope to God that Natasha doesn’t kill you afterwards, or with that answer let Wanda down, but the smile on her face sends you a wave of assurance.

Maybe you could do this...

Earlier that day, Bucky had already recorded his little opening scene. Wanda had called him to report on set before you were scheduled to arrive.

On the contrary, Bucky was also a tab bit anxious to work with you. He’d seen some of your work and more so heard about your talent from his own best friend, Steve Rogers.

He didn’t deny it, he was very much attracted to you and he wanted a chance to work with you too. Bucky wasn’t a jealous person, which made working in the porn industry easy for him, but when he had to hear Steve recount his scenes with you, he couldn’t help but want to sock his own childhood friend. He didn’t of course, but the rage was evident and his other friend, Sam Wilson, took some sick pleasure in teasing him over it. In fact, the eccentric personality of the trio of friends, decided to tag along with Bucky to introduce himself to you and get under his skin a little more.

“What’s going on in that nasty head of yours?” Sam poked at Bucky as they made their way over to Wanda, who was by the camera setup going over a script with another stagehand. When Bucky doesn’t respond, it provokes Sam even more, “no way, you’re nervous!”

Bucky sighs fed up with dealing with the anxiety brewing ever since he found out he was going to star in this film with you. “Shut the fuck up, will you? Of course, I’m nervous,” he says, trying to remain calm.

“Dude, you’ve slept with some of the hottest people in the world and millions of people have seen you naked. Why is one girl any different?” Sam wonders.

“I don’t know, ok. She just seems so down-to-earth and normal?” Bucky attempts to explain. You were real. His work was just that, it was a work, and he was afraid that it would be different with you. He could say he was almost intimidated by you.

“Yeah, as if I don’t have to hear that enough from Rogers…” Sam chimed in. Steve had nothing but high praise for your performance. In fact, his testimony helped expose you a little further. He was an honorable performer and a respected one, so they took his word on you. “Maybe, I’ll be her next co-star,” and just like that Sam ruined a moment.

“God, I hate you,” was the last thing exchanged between the two friends as they finally reached Wanda. She warned Sam to behave and gave Bucky a quick rundown before instructing him to hop on the bed.

Bucky’s interview starts a little differently than yours. Having already been a more established performer than yourself, no one needed his background story. The only thing Wanda wanted out of him was his plans and opinion on you.

“Well, I don’t know too much about her, personally speaking...but everyone seems to love her,” Bucky’s answer was a bit bland for Wanda.

“She’s a great person to work with,” she comments and that’s a tactic most directors used to get talent to keep talking.

“That’s what Steve keeps saying,” he says with somewhat of an awkward light laugh. He could see Sam facepalming next to Wanda at that lame answer.

“Yeah, you don’t win best female newcomer for nothing,” Wanda points out. If anyone was the lucky one here, it was Bucky. He was climbing up in age and you were the next big thing. You were the real star of this film not Bucky. She was counting more on you to deliver than him.

“That’s right. She’s a very talented performer,” Bucky says, and this small comment opens up a can of worms for Wanda to build up on.

“Oh, so you’ve seen some of her work?” Bam! He was caught.

Bucky’s mouth starts twitching slightly and Wanda and Sam are smirking from their spots as they watch the gears in Bucky’s mind start turning faster trying to think of something. The only piece of advice Wanda gives is “be honest.”

He sighs, the jig was up. Smooth Bucky Barnes was caught red-handed, “yeah, I’ve watched some scenes. I’ve seen her in person a few times too…”

“Wait,” Wanda interrupts him abruptly. She knew you were attracted to Bucky, but never knew of any encounters between you two, “when did you meet her?”

“I haven’t,” Bucky starts, which causes a look of mass confusion on Wanda’s face before he follows up, “formally. I haven’t met her formally, but I’ve seen her at a few parties and at the award show...I was just nervous to walk up to her,” the words just kept flowing out of his mouth and he inwardly cringed at how awkward he might’ve sounded.

Sam was amused by his embarrassment, but Wanda was pleased with this result. Bucky was good at what he did and that included him trying to play it cool, which he did well on screen, sometimes.

“You know she was actually thrilled to find out she would be working with you,” Wanda said, stretching the truth. The truth was, you hadn’t verbally confessed that, at least not yet.

“Really?” Bucky asks all too hopeful, his mood noticeably perking up.

“Yup! Ever since she won Best New Starlet of the Year, people have been lining up to book her, but she chose this project. You were the deal breaker, Barnes,” she fabricated and hoped this all worked out for you two in the end.

“Wow, who would’ve thought this has-been still had it in him?” He jokes at himself. His humility would get the best of him in every situation.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself! You didn’t win Best Male Performer of the Year again for nothing!” Wanda says and then steers the interview to a close.

After wrapping up Bucky’s scene, he’s allowed to stay in another room with a monitor. At first, he thinks it’s to help him prep for the scene, but to his surprise it’s a live feed of your interview and he starts clinging onto your every word. Enthralled by your journey, work ethic and he gets flustered all over again hearing you talk about your equal eagerness to work with him.

“You know, if anyone is the lucky one in this situation, it’s Barnes,” Wanda reminds as your interview comes to an end.

“Right,” you sarcastically remark.

“Are you ready for us to bring Bucky in?” She asks.

“It’s now or never,” you reply.

You watch the doorknob twist and the door open to slowly reveal Bucky. Where do you even start with him? He just looked like the total package. His gaze immediately on yours. As he makes his way towards the bed you’re still sitting on, when his knee comes in contact to the edge, you maneuver your body in his direction, sit up on your knees to meet him halfway and welcome him in a hug.

“Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you,” he says when you pull apart. The both of you don’t break away completely. Your arms are still wrapped around his neck, his hands placed just above your waist, you can feel his fingers that slipped under the fabric rub your skin.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you respond, giving him a genuine smile and can’t help but stare at his pretty face. You had to remind yourself he’s just another guy, except he wasn’t. You didn’t know how he felt, but you wanted this, wanted him. You also don’t know if you’ll ever work him again after today, so he was going to get the real you.

A small, subtle clearing of someone’s throat shatters the staring contest between you and Bucky causing you both to sheepishly break away from the other, not realizing you’d both allowed dreaded dead airtime to pass by. You scoot over to make room for him next to you on the bed. After he pulls his footwear off, he sits cross legged in front of you, you have one leg tucked in and the other extended in front.

Bucky’s not entirely oblivious. He not only witnessed you backstage reveal you were actually nervous to work with him, he could feel it, so at an attempt to help ease both your nerves, he places a hand on your shin and absentmindedly run his hand up and down the fabric, fingers sometimes stopping to mess with the cuff of your leggings and at the skin of your ankle, while he listened to you speak.

He congratulated you on your achievement as you did with him, both a blushing mess before diving into different topics like traveling and other interests.

Wanda stood proudly behind the camera watching the scene unfold. Everything was so candid and real between you and Bucky, the chemistry was clearly evident, she didn’t foresee there would be much directing on her part today, which was going to make her job easy.

“Wanda said you were excited to work with me,” Bucky teases, wanting to see if what you said was just for the cameras or if it was really true, but also, he found out he liked to see you get all hot and bothered in more than one way.

Your jaw drops and you look directly into the camera, breaking the fourth wall, calling out to Wanda. You playfully chastise and curse at her for revealing your secret. She tells you it was going to come out anyways, and while that was true, you’d hoped it was later and much after you’ve slept with him, hoping it doesn’t ruin the shoot, but Bucky assures you that it’s actually a flattering to hear or in his words, “assuring” for someone like him.

“Are you kidding?” You say, lightly shoving him back, “you’re like a legend! Of course, I was excited! I’m surprised you agreed to work with a rookie like me!” Now that the cat was out of the bag, you might as well own up to your secret.

“Everyone wants to work with you,” he makes clear, leaning in closer. Fuck, he didn’t even need to initiate foreplay because with the way he was looking at you right now, you could come swear you’d come undone for him in an instant.

“Oh really?” You challenge, your body gravitating like a magnet towards his.

“Yup, Steve wouldn’t shut up about you and even Sam said he can’t wait to someday work with you,” he said, voice slowly dropping in decibels and his hands sliding up your thighs.

“Did he?” You ask, but you don’t really care about Sam as your eyes look dead into Bucky’s blue ones, swirling into a darker shade full of deep want and desire.

“Yeah, but let’s see if he still wants to try to outdo me after I’m done with you,” he whispers, finally closing the gap between your lips in a sweet kiss. It was about as sweet as it could last because after just one taste of your lips, he was a starved man, hungry for more. You tried your best to match his pace and the kiss turned sloppy very quick.

You moaned at the pressure of his lips pressed roughly against yours, and you do your best to keep up, but you’re already finding yourself short of breath. However, the more you try to pull back to regain some oxygen, the more he’s unwilling to part as he grasps your face in both hands to keep you still, so you lightly squeeze at his biceps as a warning in hope he gets the message.

Lucky for you, he does and lets up. He’s also noticeably breathless, his warm breath fanning against your kiss-swollen lips, his forehead resting against yours. Bucky’s hands are still on your face.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, and you let out a small chuckle at the sincerity. He was cute.

You take his hands in yours and bring them back down to begin undressing him starting by helping him slip his shirt over his head, the fashionable dog tags around his neck clank as it slaps against his toned chest, you let him keep them on though.

Bucky sits up on his knees as he watches you settle on your stomach, propped up by your elbows, hands getting ready to work on his lower half. He patiently watches as you unbuckle his belt, pop the button of his jeans off, and drag the zipper down.

With his pants hanging loose off his hips, you begin to plant soft kisses along his navel down the defined lines that lead to his cock. Each contact of your lips sends a ghostly tingle and the blood to rush even quicker down his lower region. The imprint of his endowed member doesn’t leave much to your imagination, you can already see the stain where the tip is through his tight boxer briefs. It gives you a little boost of confidence knowing you’d caused this and would get to take care of it.

You hook your fingers into the undergarment and tug them down his muscular thighs. His cock springs out, almost hitting you in the face causing you to jolt back a little and a smile to spread across Bucky’s.

Your clumsiness was also a part of your charm. It wasn’t on purpose, you were still learning after all, and that’s what made it so unique and fun to work with you. Your partners just felt a real, genuine connection, citing it felt less choreographed and of a porno with you.

A little embarrassed about that move, you’d watched what he can do with that cock, but nothing could’ve prepared you for it face-to-face. You don’t waste any time on getting your hands on him and wrap your fingers around his half-hard cock and start pumping him sensually.

He’s hot and soft in your hands before getting gradually heavy. The look in your eyes grows more predatory as you watch him grow and feel him getting harder with each pump causing more and more pre-cum to ooze out. You spread it all over the head of his cock with your thumb then daring to look up at him, hoping he was indeed enjoying your work, before you pucker your lips and kiss at the crown. Bucky curses when he sees your lips shining, coated in his pre-cum, with a string connecting you to his cock.

You gather the fluid up in your hand before spreading it all over his length, when it’s not enough you start not only pumping him faster, but also licking up and down, from the base to the tip, hoping to effectively slick him up. The way your tongue scrapes along over Bucky’s sensitive flesh stirs him up. Your other hand joins in to fondle with his neglected balls, massaging and pulling at them in the right moments, sometimes you travel a little south and take them in your mouth. It all but drives Bucky wild and it’s confirmed with each swear that leaves his mouth.

Bucky wants nothing more than to lodge himself deep in your throat, but he remembers he needs to go at your pace, and once you’re broken in a little more, you could follow his, so he’ll bide his time for now and watch you work.

When you’re ready to take him in, you regain his attention and he watches you slowly take in his inches down your mouth, stopping halfway before your wide-open mouth hollows out. Your full mouth immediately waters around him and it doesn’t take long before you’re a drooling mess all over his cock. You pull back torturously slow, looking back down watching his cock reappear and loving the way it disappears back in, and especially how it feels when it drags through your mouth, taking note of the veins and unique ridges.

“Don’t be like that, doll,” he says, wiping some of the hair away from your face, “come on and show me why they don’t stop talking about you,” he coaxes, now gathering some of your locks in his hand to completely give you both a clear view. He tries his best to not take the lead, but you don’t disappoint as your mouth works faster on him. The gagging and sucking, mixed with Bucky’s moans of pleasure soon become the soundtrack.

You’d gradually take him more and more in, close to deep throating him, and you’re just ready to let up, but he can’t help it and before your last round, he holds your head in place.

“Don’t quit now, baby,” he encourages you, placing his other hand on the back of your head, keeping you still and carefully starts to thrust his hips, urging you to take him all the way, “...that’s it, you can do it, you can take it,” he releases a big sigh feeling the tip of your nose bump his lower abdomen. The moisture builds up in the inner corner of your eyes and you do your best to mind your breathing and not choke.

“Fuck!” He can’t help but shout when he feels your throat contract around him. You just looked so divine, mouth full of his cock. He keeps you there for a few seconds, before releasing his hold, and you immediately pull back, drool dribbles down your chin, and you’re desperate for oxygen to return back into your system. He grabs your face by your chin forcing you to look up at him.

He uses his fingers to scoop up some of the mixed fluids of his arousal and your saliva at your chin before presenting it in front of you. You easily read his mind, look up at him with big, watery eyes, and take his coated digits in your abused mouth sucking the juices clean off him.

He growls and commends you, “...such a good girl.” When he slips his fingers out of your mouth, a small pop could faintly be heard, he gently yanks at your hair, craning your head back further, it’s almost painful but you don’t care, “do it again,” he demands.

You bite your lip and reposition yourself. Bucky settles in a more comfortable position on his back, completely rid of his pants and underwear, his legs spread open for you to lie between them. Before you get back to the job, you slip your tight top off, all-natural breasts spilling out and on display for him. His cock twitches at the sight and he lets his head fall back when he’s once more fully encased in the warm, wet cavern of your mouth.

When he finally starts begging you to let up, you pull back slowly pumping him and watch his every move, the rise of his chest as it heaves from the activity, the way he runs his hands over his face. He’s absolutely stunned by your performance so far.

“On your back,” he says, and you do as he commands, and forget who is supposed to really be in charge. He yanks your leggings and panties all the way down, chucking them behind him somewhere in the corner of the room.

“You’re so sexy,” he compliments, eyes taking in every inch of your naked body, hands getting their fill. His body dips, lips latching onto your breasts, kissing at the skin and sucking on each nipple before they make their way up the juncture of your neck and claim your lips again.

You feel his tongue run along your bottom lip, and they part to grant him full access. You barely notice how he takes a hold of one of your hands, he pulls his face away to bring the hand in his grasp up to your face, using your fingers to trace the outline of your lips. You see him inaudibly instruct you to open your mouth, you do as you’re told.

“That’s right get those fingers nice and wet,” he coaxes you to suck on your own digits until he deems you ready for the next move. When he finally does pull your fingers out from your mouth, he extends your arm, ghosting them just over your pussy.

“Play with that clit,” he tells you and you don’t need to be told twice. Your pussy was begging for any kind of attention. You let your wet fingers roll over the bundle of nerves, puffs of breath escape your body as you’re finally attending to your own needs.

Bucky sits back and watches you intently, fascinated by your every move. He instructs you to close your eyes and listen to his voice, instructing you to go slow at first, “does that feel good?” the only reply he gets is a fast nod, “yeah? Make yourself feel good...that’s it,” his words only encourage your fingers to soon work faster, “let me hear how good it feels,” he demands, and you moan and whine like the true pornstar you are, your circular motions speed up, the lewd noises egg him on and soon enough he wants a taste.

“Let me help you out,” and you feel the bed shift a bit, “spread those wet lips for me,” he requests. You use both hands to invite him into your wet, glistening hole. You pick your head up to see his face buried between your thighs, you watch just long enough until each broad lick up and down your pussy sends you close to the edge.

He no longer needs the support of your hands, and they find purchase in his dark, fluffy hair as he starts sucking on your clit and tonguing your folds. At first, you’re doing a good job keeping your legs apart to accommodate him, but it gets harder and harder for them to not clamp around his head, with every nudge the tip of his nose makes at your clit and it doesn’t help your case when he inserts a finger inside you. With a good curl, his finger scratches dangerously close to your sweet spot, causing your legs to start quivering.

The sudden hitch in your breathing catches his attention, and Bucky tests the waters more by digging in deeper and curling in further. He notices the increasing agitation and knows he’s found the trigger.

“Bucky,” you whine, hoping he doesn’t push you over just yet. You want to last longer, and so you reluctantly attempt to scoot back further away, but the sudden strong grip he has around your leg locks you in place. You pick your head back up and find Bucky’s eyes trained on you. You see the stoic look in his eyes laced with determination. Oh no, he wanted you to come now. You feel a hum from his full mouth, only pushing you further.

“Don’t hold back,” he says against your pussy, “let go,” and the gruff in his voice, vibrating against you, his thick digits still curled deep inside you, you can’t hold back the floodgates from bursting any longer.

He laps up your arousal as you desperately try to regain composure. He really pulled one out of you, proving he was as every bit good as he put out and you’re not even close to the end of this scene.

“Come here,” he says, getting back on his knees and pulling you up by your arms so you’re in an up-right sitting position once again, but with Bucky still towering over you, “open up.”

You comply and open your mouth wide, tongue out, not understanding his motive, and you’re met with full surprise when he spits in your mouth, a firm grip on your face, he holds you still.

“Don’t swallow,” he gravely warns. You feel and probably look stupid not knowing what he wants you to do with your mouth open wide and full of his spit mingling with your arousal, just trying to keep it all contained. Bucky was testing your patience and obedience and you passed every test so far. You were just the right amount of submissive, absolutely perfect.

You can feel his hard cock pressing up against your sensitive pussy, it slides up between your folds and the base rests on top of your mound. “Drool it out...on my cock,” he instructs. Oh. He guides your gaze down between your bodies, you purse your lips, and both watch as the liquid cascades down onto his erect member. He uses it to lube himself up before he pushes you down to lie flat on your back.

Bucky slowly but easily slips inside your wet channel but notices your slight struggle. He was big, and he gets it. The way your eyes are tightly shut, hands pulling at the sheets, you struggle to breath and your walls cruelly grip him tight. Normally, he’d just pound away until his partner got used to him, but he didn’t want to do that with you. He wanted you to enjoy feeling him.

He tries to help you relax by rubbing your thighs a little with soothing motions, when they fall limp on either side, he leans down, you feel the cool metal of his dog tags against your heated skin, his weight sort of comforting on yours, and arms entrapping your head. He lovingly calls out your name, and your eyes flutter open, your attention refocusing on him.

“We’ll go at your pace, alright?” he assures you. You curse yourself for allowing your heart to swell at his concern, but you nod giving him permission to move slowly. Your whimpers soon transition into pleasurable moans, the more your body begins to adjust to his.

“Damn, you’re so tight. You’ve never been stretched out like this by anyone before have you?” he dares ask, once he sees it’s a safe playing field once more, his hips moving slow, his cock sliding in and out of you. You attempt at a laugh between your ragged breathing and the intense sensation coursing through you.

“No,” you respond and kiss at his chin, the light stubble pricking your soft lips, “you’re so big.” You feel his cock twitch inside and you want to curse yourself again at the comment that unintentionally riles him up because he was nestled close to your spot again. Fuck, he could reach just the right depth in you.

“Fuck, Bucky,” you don’t want to go slow anymore. Fuck Wanda and this movie, you wanted all of Bucky now, “please fuck me,” you resort to begging. He inwardly growls and his hips start snapping forward, thrusts growing hard and uncalculated. You just lie there and allow him to use your pussy for his pleasure.

Bucky’s movements falter a bit in this position, so he steers both your bodies on their sides, still facing each other, he slings your leg high up over his hips, and resumes his task. His cock glides right back in your pussy and the new angle causes you to yelp and walls to clench around him.

“You feel so good,” his voice riddled with so much lust as he brings your body closer to his with a hand behind, full of your plushest asset. Your head rests on the bicep of his other arm that was underneath it.

Bucky’s expressive eyes ask you if you're close, and the more your walls continue to grip him, he starts begging for you to come with him. “I’m gonna cum,” he warns, giving up and letting you take the rest of the lead.

“Yeah?” you huff out, your fingers digging into the side of his hips, “you want to cum inside me?” You know he does; you can feel and see it written all over him, but you want to just poke at him like he had with you, “I want you to...I want all your cum inside me, Bucky,” and you wanted him to cum hard, deep inside, “fill my tight pussy up, please,” you plead.

With one more jab of his hips, your back arches and head is thrown back, you can’t help but let out a scream as your orgasm rips right through you like it’s never before. Bucky’s body on the other hand caves into yours, feeling almost paralyzed as your tight walls hold him in place and all he can do is bury his face into the sweaty skin of your neck.

His mouth hangs open, a plethora of profanities coming out of him, and he waits for his cock to finish spewing ropes of his hot, thick cum into you. Your walls can’t help but to involuntarily contract in small aftershocks, especially when he’s still coming.

Bucky continues to moan as he does as you hoped, he came hard and deep inside you. When you’ve both finally come down from the high, it’s silent, and even though you’d both long forgotten you were on a set with multiple people watching you two, they were also quiet, completely taken back by the performance.

Incoherent cries come out of each of you, when Bucky agonizingly pulls his cock out. For the most part you’re able to keep him inside, but he’d proven to come so much some of it seeps out and runs down in streak fashion along your thigh, staining the bed sheets.

In your last act, as your gazes meet each other again, your fingers dip inside your soaked cunt and coat them. Hypnotized by you, Bucky watches as you greedily suck off his essence from your digits, and you evoke a small hum in his favor at the taste bursting in your mouth.

Bucky bites at his bottom lip, trying to not lose it again. When your hand disappears, he tenderly wipes the matted hair away from your face, smoothing your hair back before pulling your body close again, swooping your lips for a deep kiss.

“Shit, you’re good,” he admits, when he pulls away, effectively breaking the blissful silence. You bust out in a fit of giggles beside him and it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen. He’s not sure what he’s feeling, but it’s not something you’re supposed to feel towards your co-star, especially in the porn industry.

He smiles at you, basking in your afterglow and all he knows is that he wants to feel this high with you over and over, so he decides to risk it all, “I hope this doesn’t ruin the moment, but can I take you out some time?”

You try your best to read him, wondering if he was just still in the heat of the moment. Either he’s really good or he’s being sincere, you can’t tell and you’re hoping you’re not overthinking it, but his eyes, this whole time, were what gave him away. He performed with them and he definitely spoke through them.

Before you could accept and give him a definite answer, you’re both brought back to reality, “we’re still rolling here!” Wanda reminds.

A/N: Thank the pain meds for this. I think I effectively used up my vacation days the right way, won’t you agree? Likes, reblogs and comments/emojis are appreciated!

#mrwinterr writes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fanfic #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan x reader #pornstar!bucky barnes #pornstar!bucky #pornstar!bucky au

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wattpadscapcons · 3 years ago

Text

Unfortunate Event (Pregame! Detective! Shuichi x Injured Reader)

tw: implications of serious injuries and torture, hospitals, painkillers, Shuichi on the edge of snapping, talk of and description of scars

Word Count: 1282

"I will, I will always keep loving you.~"

His words ring through your ears, you would've never guessed he was the musical type. Kagehara had decided to lay his head on top of his folded arms, while looking at you. He seemed to be in his own little world, completely unaware to you being awake yet. At the moment, he seemed content just quietly singing to you. The hospital bed was cold at first touch, but now, it's warm. Just how long had you been laying here? A few weeks? Time was hard to keep track of when you've been asleep for most of it. You couldn't even really tell whether you're awake or just dreaming half the time. You were too doped up to really think clearly enough to actually ask your boyfriend at the moment, it'd take you a few minutes.

Why were you even here again? You couldn't remember. The last thing you remembered was Shuichi leaving for work, and watching TV, now all you can think about is the numb feeling in your arm and face. The ticking sound of a clock reminding you were awake after all.

"Shu...?"

"Ah Y/N! You're awake! How are you feeling Angel?"

"Everything's ..fuzzy..."

"Yeah, I bet. You had to be put on some pretty strong painkillers. That buzz you're feeling will fade away after a while."

"Why....why am I.... here?"

Shuichi's smile dropped, and his face seemed to pale a little.

"You were attacked while I was gone."

You don't remember anything about being attacked. Just....what did he mean by that anyways? The two possibilities that you could conjure were both enough to make you shiver. Thinking straight was starting to hurt.

"You don't have to worry about a thing though, I'll take care of it."

That usually didn't mean anything good.

"Mm..."

It was too hard to think, it hurt, just what really happened? Memories blur together into a mess that cause you a headache. You moved your hands to your head in a useless effort to steady out your thinking. Shuichi took notice of this pretty fast, taking your face into his hands.

"Don't try to think about it right now. You need your rest. Just let me do all thinking for you darling."

You could finally see the flames in his eyes. Behind that sweet smile was a very angry man, hellbent on revenge. There was no use in trying to argue with him, you couldn't really stay awake for much longer anyways. As you drift back into that fuzzy static you call dreams, Shuichi was fuming.

He had captured the problem yes, but the scars you'd end up having were unforgiveable even with death as a punishment. He'd have to choose a slower death for the rat bastard that decided to break into your shared apartment. The only thing that he was relieved to hear was that you weren't assaulted in the "worst way possible". Of course, you being tortured after passing out wasn't a good thing for his psyche to comprehend either though.

He might end up snapping if your attacker even tries to say a thing to defend themselves. He knew he was in for a very long night, not that it should really bother him much, it wouldn't be the first time he'd stayed up all night. It's just the screaming he's going to have to listen to, he'll most likely have a headache by the end of it.

He's going to enjoy getting revenge for you though. You deserve to be safe in your own home after all, and just turning this guy in wasn't going to cut it for him. You could call him a yandere, but it isn't entirely true. He's already lost people he's loved before, he isn't going to let it happen again, by any means necessary.

Shuichi is gone by the time you wake up the second time, you couldn't stay awake for long, your head was killing you. The clock said 12:00, you wondered whether that was morning or night. Due to the lack of noise in the hall you would've guessed night. The third time you woke up, it was 4:00am and he was now laying next to you in the bed. When did he get here? He was in completely different clothes than last time. Had it been a few days since you were awake to see him? Did he trick a nurse into letting him into your room?

He's wrapped around you. He's warm, and you're able to enjoy it for an hour before you fall asleep again. It took a few more times of waking up and falling asleep until you were thinking clearly enough to leave. Shuichi drove you home, no surprise there.

"Shuichi."

"Yes darling?"

"Are they dead yet?"

He almost swerved the car into the opposite lane because of that. You had never asked about the people he dealt with before. It was very surprising for him to say the very least.

"What was that?"

"Are. they. dead. yet?"

"No.."

You let out a sigh, and just stare blankly at the road for a while.

"I don't expect you to-"

"How long has it been now?"

"Since you were first hospitalized?"

"Yeah."

"Almost two months."

"How the hell have you kept them alive that long?"

"I've only been "playing" with them for about three weeks."

The venom filled undertones of his words was enough to get you to stop asking questions. The rest of the car ride was silent.

He's so adamant about helping you with everything, as to keep you from ripping open your stitches. You have no idea how long it's going to be until you can move around the house without him trailing behind you like a puppy.

He's tried to use the stitches as an excuse to carry you around, but you could walk just fine, much to his despair. The scars, those were another thing bothering you. Some of them couldn't be covered, it was increasingly distressing.

Shuichi had said that they had done nothing to disrupt your beauty, most likely to help put you at ease. Though, you knew that was his real opinion. He never really thought much about how you presented yourself, and now is no different. He'll love you no matter what happens to you. He's always like this, just sickeningly sweet. The thought of the looking like a patchwork doll on any day other than Halloween is just too much to think about.

What pissed you off most was the light scar that started under your chin and led to your chest. What the fuck was that guy's problem?

Good thing that'll be one of the first to fade away over time. The healing process was gruelingly slow, but Shuichi was almost forced to go back to work after a few months if he wanted to keep his job. He would've happily gave it up to take care of you, but you almost told him off for even bringing up the idea.

At least he's calmer now, he can look at the scars without getting angry like he used to. Of course, he's still angry with himself, but it really wasn't his fault. All the more reason for him to be protective over you, it seems. He's afraid to leave you alone, so most of the time you'll end up tagging along with him to work.

"I'm never letting this happen to you again angel."

"I might become an actual angel if that were to happen."

"Please don't say that again."

"I was joking."

"It wasn't funny."

".....Sorry Shu..."

At least he cares enough to still give you space to breathe.

#pregame v3 #pregame shuichi x reader #pregame shuichi #kagehara x reader #kagehara #pregame #pregame drv3 #yandere pregame shuichi #danganronpa shuichi #shuichi saihara x reader smut #pregame shuichi imagine #shuichi saihara x reader #danganronpa v3 killing harmony #danganronpa killing harmony #danganronpav3 #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa

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writertitan · 4 years ago

Text

Saturday Cartoons

pairing: levi x reader

word count: 2001

themes: semi-mature content, morning after fluff, some good old-fashioned friends to lovers

requested by anon

Sunlight peered curiously through Levi’s curtains and caressed your face and your bared shoulders, gently coaxing you out of whatever dream you’d been having, already long forgotten. Though your back is turned to Levi now, you feel his warmth radiating towards you. With a blush, you remember the previous night, how his warmth enveloped you and made you dizzy with pleasure.

It had been the first night together after prancing around each other idly for months and months, always flirting secretly with glances and touches, never following through. After all, it was a little unwise to sleep with a friend. Nonetheless, you’d been invited along to happy hour with Levi and your little group, laughing into the night with no care for the time. The Friday night happy hours were the best; drinks upon drinks after everyone got off of work, empty complaints about the trials of the day and sometimes the entire week, and no worry about needing to go back the next day to do it all again.

Last night, however, things were electric in that buzzing bar with Levi and your mutual friends. It was one of the only times that you could stare at him as much as you wanted. Other times, everybody else strived to be inclusive, group conversations forcing you to look between everyone equally. Gawking at Levi would have earned a few jokes, a few jabs at your expense. But as the night wore on, your friends all getting more and more tired, more intoxicated, wrapping themselves into more intimate conversations of pairs of two or sometimes three, you seized the opportunity to melt into a one-on-one conversation with Levi. And, with each drink, the two of you had gotten closer and closer, thighs touching, shoulders brushing, and you were happy. It came as a shock when Levi whispered in your ear that you had to be more discreet so your friends wouldn’t get suspicious, more of a demand than anything. The acknowledgment of where this was headed was a surprise. Usually, the two of you skittered around it, halted the flirting before it became too serious, too solid. Not tonight. He told you to wait until it was time to go, and then you’d catch an Uber together. All you did was nod.

Now here you were, in his bed, one hand tracing the edges of sunlight on his crisp sheets as you struggled to prepare yourself for the inevitable and awkward morning after.

Your head throbbed just a tad, only a mini hangover dulling your mind, which you were thankful for. It was nice to be able to enjoy the morning, breathing slowly and evenly as you replayed last night in your mind over and over, your eyes closed as you thought of Levi’s lips, his hands…

His hands.

Your eyes snapped open when you felt feather-light traces down your spine, fingertips caressing you softly, barely noticeable had you not already been awake. Your face got hot instantly, knowing Levi was awake too, and you contemplated whether you should turn around or not.

Silly, you thought to yourself, I should turn around.

So you did, your eyes finding Levi’s stormy ones as his hand retreated back to his own bubble of space. He looked a little embarrassed, as though he’d been caught red-handed, but he played it off coolly.

“Good morning,” you whispered, voice still raspy from sleep.

“Good morning,” he echoed, eyes unreadable for a moment as he regarded you. Again, your face heated up, not knowing what to do next. Maybe he hadn’t expected you to stay the night? Maybe he’d expected you to leave before he awoke?

“I had fun last night,” you said, honest as can be. Slowly, you realized it wasn’t as awkward as you’d anticipated. Levi was, after all, still a dear friend to you. Things had just reached a new level. You contemplated for a moment how that would change things going forward.

Levi didn’t respond, but you smiled brightly upon seeing the small upward curve of his own lips, a rare smile gracing his features. One thing you knew about Levi: he smiled with his eyes. Even if a smile didn’t play on his lips sometimes, you could always see it in his eyes.

The rare smile on his lips touched the smile in his eyes today.

A silence wrapped around you again, not awkward but not comfortable, but filled with something you couldn’t quite make out. Unspoken words.

“There’s...a brunch place across the street,” Levi started, clearly a little uncomfortable, “Are you hungry?”

As if on cue, your stomach rumbled and you hid your blush by burrowing most of your face into one of his pillows, eyes still on his as you smiled with pure embarrassment.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“How embarrassing,” you complained, but you laughed as the words tumbled out. You sat up, shyly keeping the sheets wrapped around you. “Let’s go. I think a Bloody Mary will help with my headache.”

Levi perked up at that, cocking his head to the side. “Hungover?”

“Not quite, but I guess I had enough to make me feel nasty,” you told him, easily slipping into a normal conversation with him.

“Wait here,” he muttered, and you catch the way he hesitates before throwing the sheets off himself to bare himself to you. Of course you’d seen it all last night, but it was different in the morning, in the muted daylight peeking into his room through his curtains. Bashful, you looked away, also wanting to respect his privacy as he pulled on his boxers.

While Levi was gone, you scrambled to dress back into your clothes. You hadn’t made it very far, only able to have put on your undergarments and shirt, before he was back with a bottle of water and a bottle of painkillers. The thoughtful gesture made you blush again and you smiled, shy and grateful, as you took them from him.

“Thanks, Levi,” you said, popping two pills into your mouth and chasing them with some water. You were sitting on his bed, legs tangled into the sheets once more for some warmth, and you gazed at him as he also sat back down to join you. “So, when are we headed out?”

Levi was quiet for a moment, his expression a little thoughtful, but you couldn’t read the other emotion there until he spoke up.

“I was thinking we could just order in. Eat it here? Maybe just hang out?”

The idea made you perk up, finally picking up on that subtle shift in the atmosphere around you. Of course things weren’t going to be the same after sleeping together, but there had been a part of you that had been so sure that things weren’t going to change too much. Levi was offering to spend more time together and it made your head spin.

Not just a one night stand. You’d never wanted it to be, but this felt almost surreal.

You found yourself nodding eagerly before you registered what was happening.

Levi pulled up the website and let you look through the menu on his phone, not so subtly leaning in close so your cheek pressed against his shoulder as you browsed. Being more or less on the same page, wanting to still spend time together and not disregard last night as a one time thing, had made the energy clear and the awkwardness dissipate. You protested with Levi when he paid for the entire order, offering to give him money, but he scoffed and told you to knock it off.

Neither of you made a move to leave the bed. Unlike last night, this mood was calm and relaxed, both of you leaning into each other as you sat up against the headboard and gossiped and resumed your conversation from last night while you were still out at the bar. It was so easy with Levi, always. The only difference now was that you still felt nervous to test the waters. You were side by side, shoulders together with one of your legs draped carelessly over his, but could you stroke his arm if you wanted? Could you rest your chin on his shoulder while he talked about his clueless new intern?

The doorbell rang in the middle of one of your own tangents and you hesitantly pulled away from Levi to follow him to the door. He had pulled on a t-shirt and some sweatpants to go and answer to pick up your breakfast, and you awkwardly swayed in the background just out of eyesight, still clad in just your shirt and underwear.

As you moved to sit at Levi’s small dining table, he gives you a questioning look and nods to his living room.

“More comfortable,” was all he said, and you agreed. You sat on his couch and helped him take out your containers of food, watching Levi turn on the TV and immediately flip to the channel still showing Saturday morning cartoons. Your breath can’t help but catch in your throat as you flashed a small smile; you’d mentioned in passing last night that you sometimes liked to watch cartoons on your lazy days. The fact that Levi had remembered made your heart flutter.

This time, you weren’t going to be so shy and question if something was okay or not. The energy around you both was constantly shifting, ebbing and flowing, but there was no denying it. Though the question hadn’t come up just yet, you felt it now, stronger than ever: this was a new beginning.

You felt more confident about the way you pressed into his side as Levi smeared jam onto some toast with a plastic knife, and mumbled a thank you when he gave it to you to snack on. He casually lifted his legs to rest on the coffee table, with you mirroring him, and the both of you rested your breakfast on your lap as you watched cartoons.

Levi, always the ridiculously fast eater, finished way before you did and moved to immediately clean up after himself, but found himself right back at your side moments later. This time, however, his hands were free and you watched him stretch his arms above his head, not-so-subtly moving one behind you on the couch, and then slowly moving down to rest around your shoulders. You leaned into him and offered him a bite of your pancakes, which he was happy to munch on. As if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Each action got a reaction from you. When he started stroking your arm lightly with his fingers, you rested your head on his shoulder, eyes still on the screen. When you were finished eating and he wordlessly set the container aside without getting up to properly clean up, not wanting to make you feel like anything less than a welcome guest, you were huddling closer into him, practically on his lap. You knew the two of you were feeling the same. Nervous, excited, confused.

Finally, during a commercial, you were building the courage to speak the words into existence. However, Levi beat you to it.

“Is this okay?” he asked, head tilted down to look at you, still resting on his shoulder. You blinked a few times to regain composure, biting your lip as you looked at him.

You knew what he meant, of course. Did you want to be here? Did you want to be like this? Was the direction this was going okay with you?

“More than okay,” you replied in a breathy whisper. Levi physically seemed to relax under you and you couldn’t help the small chuckle that left you. “I’m...really happy. I don’t regret any of it.”

“Me too,” Levi assured you.

You felt a hand in your hair, threading through it gently, calming you, a silent action to let you know that he was willing to give this a try if you were.

And you were.

#levi x reader #levi one shot #levi fic #levi fluff #levi fanfiction #levi ackerman #levi ackerman oneshot #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan #snk fanfiction #snk #levi

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