#i took a double turn

[beastieblooddd]

Besties idk what I'm meant to be doing here ngl

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

M'lady, doth this harlot bother thee?

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[putting-eddie-munson-in-places]

I know you did Eddie as a Scoops customer but can you make him an employee? Put him in the Scoops uniform?

customer service fuckin’ sucks

[corviday]

okay it only took me a billion years but guess who finally is posting that "give me fighting game characters to draw" meme

[just-null]

YO, SUPER LATE SUPER LONG SUPER MESSY OCTOBER POST THAT I JUST SHOVED EVERYTHING INTO BC I DIDN'T WANT TO DO MULTIPLE. FUCK IT.

I forgot halfway that these were supposed to be costumes and not mini aus... SO REMEMBER IN MY PLACE, EVERYTHING IS HYPOTHETICAL. also. some have a bit of yandere elements to them bc its SO FITTING FOR NORITOSHI.

Happy late October, everyone. it's winter now. Let's get it, baby.

[Long rambles and doodles under the cut!]

Vampire!

I kept asking myself, "How sexy is too sexy.." and "How the fuck does a sexy vampire even look like without it being a shirtless guy w fangs or Edward Cullen....." I think I figured it out

Sure, sure, vampires are superhumans with sun allergies that can drink blood really hotly. They can also easily overpower you to feast and blah blah blah, but what if said vampire (Noritoshi) was too weak to do any of that? Not literally, but he craves your say. He wants not only your blood but your affection. He wants to get praised as he drinks you in. Are you comfortable? How much will you allow him to take? Do you want to get him back in return? Guidance with this makes him feel more at ease. It's still Noritoshi at the end of the day. He's going to find a way to be a little awkward about you because of his crush. He refuses to drink from anyone other than you, even if it causes his death. Therefore, he has to keep you healthy! For the rest of your lives..! Besides, he can't really go outside or else he'd.. y'know. So if you think about it, this is a very beneficial relationship for both of you!!

The only downside is that you're losing blood on the regular, and for some reason, more people are moving away... Probably nothing, right? Noritoshi is always there to keep you company and help you recover anyways.

Witch!

my attempts also bled into the witch design.... you got greedy with requesting two in one ask, but I'll spoil you this time bc I also wanted to see Noritoshi as a (sexy) vampire and witch. heh. AND I DIDNT REALIZE HED BE SO CUTE AS A WITCH..... WHAT THE FUCK?? rip momo, fight for your title of cute witch...

Noritoshi strikes me as one of those witches who'd rather be left to their own devices because they're running some important magic whatever in the background. though, he'll take some breaks and indulge you if you insist on having him around. Insist meaning you pass by and strike conversation, leaving him to neglect anything and everything to prioritize his time with you. He doesn't want to use magic on you unless it's beneficial for either you or both. Noritoshi likes a natural progression with you that he knows for a fact is true and not some product of some spell. Though it doesn't mean he wouldn't use charms and such to get you to interact with him more often to speed up the process!

Can't sleep? He has a remedy perfect for that! Bad luck? Oh no, take a charm. Nerves? A potion he perfected will help you ease your jitters. Annoying peers? With a snap of Noritoshi's fingers, they're gone! Just don't ask what happened. Enjoy yourself instead and come to him with any new issue. He's quick to resolve it.

Definitely has some sort of doll that looks suspiciously like you.. Noritoshi would probably talk to it and practice one liners that give you the strongest sense of nostalgia once he uses them. He's simultaneously giddy that the charm he put in the doll works but also a little annoyed that his hard work isn't surprising you, but leaving you with deja vu.

Idol!

i was crying the entire time bc what does an idol look like.... noritoshi is handsome enough to be an idol without actually being an idol... now i can confirm that idols are very well dressed though. thumbs up 100% but i had some thoughts...

[Idol]

Noritoshi would be the type to cherish his fans, but hold clear favoritism over you. he'd be those idols that look cold, but they talk, and they sound smug in a charming way. i don't know much about idols, but i know he'd be so fucking good.... he'd be the type of guy to sing to you amongst the hundreds in the crowd.... ahhh the interviews w these famous aus. they're just talking and acting like themselves. can you imagine Noritoshi getting asked the question if he has a lover or not? he can lie, im sure you're alright with that, but he doesn't want to!! he does have someone!!! someone he loves more than all his fans love for him combined!!! he just can't say it for the sake of your privacy and his career. so Noritoshi does what any charming guy who's good with their words does. he deflects the question. answering the question, but not really, that'd be something he's known for. fans online are split on why Noritoshi does this. some think he's trying to keep that side of his life private, others think he's trying to mess around, and others think he's hiding a secret lover!!! though the last one is usually seen as the outlandish one, sometimes it makes Noritoshi's heart drop bc they get some things right. "Having a lover is a complicated question hidden behind a simple disguise. If I had to answer, I'd say my lovers are my audience. they make sure i'm well cared for, some more than others." AND HIS FUCKING LITTLE SMIRK I CANT COUGHS UP BLOOD. IM A THEORIST TOO. SECRET LOVER. 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵

ON THE FLIP SIDE....

[Not an Idol]

An amusing thought where Noritoshi goes out in his casual clothes, and he's mistaken for an idol. No one knows who he is, but he just looks like he'd be one. bro's just trying to buy groceries, and now he has a fan group asking him to take pictures with them.. He'd tell them that he's just a guy, not an idol, but the group would still want a picture with him. it'd be a waste to pass by someone who's so naturally gorgeous, so with a sigh of defeat, he relents. It's just a photo, right? No harm done. Noritoshi'd go home and feel overwhelmed/embarrassed by the whole ordeal. later, he gets a call from someone in the kyoto group or you to inform him how he's all over social media, known as that handsome guy in the supermarket. HED BE COMPLETELY UNREACHABLE TO MEDIA OUTLETS BC NORITOSHI IS THAT GUY WHO DOESNT HAVE SOCIAL MEDIA.... he'd have to make one to make sure no one pretends to be him online. "Hello, I don't use social media, but I've been informed I've been getting attention online. To prevent anyone from being fooled by an impersonator, this is my official and only account. thank you." P.R. STATEMENT WRITING ASS.. his single post gets flooded with likes, comments, and DMs. it almost blows up his phone..... he was just buying bread, dude...... people try to dig up and find him through the other Kyoto group's social media.

[bonus] my second in command requested to put him in a fem idol outfit bc he thought it was funny. after frothing at the mouth and coughing out blood, I complied.

Doctor!

THIS IS SUCH A STRAIGHT FORWARD ASK BUT IT HAS SO MANY IMPLICATIONS. MY BELOVED CULT MEMBER.. THOSE EMOJIS GIVE ME A DIFFERENT IMPRESSION BUT IM NOT SURE.

Noritoshi as a doctor...... apple sales would plummet. his little clinic's business would skyrocket. sick cases would peak in his area. getting your heart checked by his stethoscope would be so fucking embarrassing bc all he'd hear is THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP

LIKE IMAGINE IF THAT WAS YOUR DOCTOR? BRO.

COUGH COUGH HACK WHEEZE COUGH COUGH.

Noritoshi would probably own a small clinic that he wants to expand. That or he opened one after working for a hospital for a while. He's a great doctor who's most likely respected but a pain in the ass to work with. Among patients, he's gotten the hot doctor reputation. Most want to be treated by him, but he's so professional, any chance of trying to flirt goes down the drain. Yeah, he puts his hair up to avoid it in his face even though his eyes are closed classic lab safety procedures. He seems like the type to have a soothing but authoritative voice during examination, so he gets his message across. it's a bit difficult when dealing with patients for Noritoshi. If he sees them too often, he firstly scolds you for not taking care of yourself, then feels guilty for not giving you the proper care. Keep yourself safe and healthy, or else Noritoshi will clearly :( Putting him in a yandere setting would be dangerous. He'd have a lot of control over you, considering he can prescribe medication, shots, visits, and other things.... he'd have a ball.... nothing that would cause you any harm, of course. he's only looking out for you and doing what's best for you..!

Pirate!

my second in command wanted a pirate. pirates are so fucking cool and i know damn well if this guy were a pirate he'd have a bunch of battle scars under that fancy coat.

Noritoshi as a pirate would be more than a little odd, but also fitting. He looks like the type of guy who'd be well put together, yet he's willing to get his hands dirty. Like the guy who got into the pirate life because of some personal issue that couldn't be solved fast enough through conventional means. Even as a pirate, i imagine he holds everyone to high standards. They're still pirates though.. so his expected standards aren't even that high. He has more freedom here, so even he himself lets loose once or twice. Especially with you. He's even able to get away with more violent actions for you, the seas are unpredictable, after all. While taking some treasure, Noritoshi'd toss you a gem or golden coin, just so you can say you were the first to claim it. Just so he can see that happy glint in your eyes when getting your hands on treasure. God forbid anyone try to get their hands on your hard earned goods. They'd be met with a bullet to the foot or a sword at their neck. Everyone and their mother knows how you're his favorite, but Noritoshi downplays it. Its not a crime to help out someone from his crew is it? Not in the seven seas. He leans more into his cold ruthless killer side here. He has goals and people to help keep in line whether hes captain or not. Yet when around you, he's almost adorable in how he shows you a pearl so entrancing that it reminded him of you.

Corpse Bride!

my submission to my Noritoshi Halloween costume closet.. CORPSE BRIDE, THIS MOVIE FUCKS. esp w the yandere elements.

Noritoshi 100% made you recite the wedding vows to him before accepting the ring. If you fumbled up, he'd correct you with SO much attitude and expect you to start from the top until you got it perfectly.

Hypothetically, in the chalice scene towards the end..

Noritoshi is the type to never be fully relaxed unless he knows for sure you'll be eternally his. In this scenario, YOU proposed to HIM but have to die to continue being together. Not only that, but someone in the living world is also after your heart. Someone who bleeds. Someone who's the obvious choice. Someone who can give you the life that you deserve. Someone who will succeed in their pursuits if you. remain. alive. Noritoshi's life was cut short, yet he still managed to lose so much and be abandoned a considerable amount of times. When he meets you and finds out about the possibility of having to go through that again even in death, it finally clicks in his rotting mind. He realizes he's been doing something wrong to keep constantly failing. Noritoshi revises his methods to a more.. selfish course. Why should he care about anyone else's wants or how his actions hurt them? You were the only one who made him truly fulfilled, to make him feel alive. The only one who deserves anything and everything good that comes from this world. Destiny is never done toying with him when he realizes your marriage is invalid because of your pulse and his lack thereof no matter how hard he'd try, but the opportunity arises. of course, he's ecstatic to give you an afterlife worth much more than what a silly beating heart can achieve. "All people die eventually. If you miss your living family or friends, all it takes is patience, darling. I'll wait by your side in the meantime." He weighs the pros and cons of everything, but when it comes to swaying manipulating your thoughts he only highlights the ones that'll get you on his side. in this case, the pros of dying to be with him! Honestly, the answer was so obvious that Noritoshi didn't know why he was stressing about it before. It hurts him to see you in any type of pain, but he reassures both himself and you that it'll only be for a moment. Afterward, he'll have the rest of your afterlives to make it up to you!! What happened to Till Death Do Us Part? Noritoshi thinks it's insulting that something as shallow as that could be so widely accepted. If your love were true, it wouldn't stop just because the world decided to take them away. "Till death do us part? Darling, don't be silly. 'Not even death will do us part' feels much better, doesn't it?" 

[leidila]

“Wallace did that because Todd looked like Scott” yes but also remember how he hates Envy ?? What better revenge than to run lines in the trailer with her BF

[royalarchivist]

Dono: [Asking him how long he think he'd last if he was an Egg]

Roier: Un Huevito... [A little egg] I wouldn’t die. Well, if I had lag, then yeah. No, I think I would be dead then, because- I mean, if I have lag, I'm going to die. Nah, I'll die in one day for sure. BUT– I would be the most badass Egg in the universe. It’s true. I would be the best Egg, the most handsome, with the biggest ass. I mean, I think my Egg would have a lot of hair, I would have an ass like some lumps. And well, a sweatshirt, a red sweatshirt. The best Egg–

Roier: Make me a little Egg! Guys, why can't I stop being a player and be a little Egg? I want to be an Egg. 😔

[arachnicas]

Now if Hobie hadn't quit and bounced before the great chase, things would have taken a much darker turn. Imagine if he'd been on that train and seen Miguel hurting Miles. Lemme just say that nothing would have stopped Hobie from leaping high in the air, guitar raised above his head, and smashing it down hard on Miguel's back over and over again until someone either pulls him off or Miguel is too injured to hurt Miles anymore. Too much? Perhaps, but this is the same Hobie Brown who killed Norman Osborne with zero regrets.

Grown adult hurting a kid? Okay, get fucking wrecked.

[synthshenanigans]

Who the fuck has 69,830 plays of Special on Spotify

[mechahero]

There's a whoooole bunch of undead guys in Motor City! And while I can't go over every single one of them, here's a small selection of zombies you'll see here! You don't have to use the nicknames for them though, we are all aware of how dumb they sound.

YOU try coming up with a way to tell different zombies apart without sounding like a complete dumbass though. >:/

ROMEROS- Your classic zombie. Slow, shambling and trouble in large crowds. These guys outnumber most of the zombie types here 2 to 1. Compared the zombies they're named after, they're far more smarter than them. While you won't catch them using a rock to bash open a window, you'll at the very least be able to hold normal conversations with them as they're well... normal people still more or less!

You could always ask one what brought them back and sometimes they'll tell that it was due to a satellite that came back from Venus. Don't take it to heart though, it's mostly a joke.

LANDERS- Said to be the victims of a disease (probably rabies or mad cow disease or something, we don't fricking know), these zombies are bit uh... complicated. These guys take the longest to get back on track and get them acting like the humans they used to be. It's no fault of their own obviously, but man is their particular strain of zombification a complete BITCH to work with. It makes them bitey, spew-y and all around JERKS the first few months of unlife.

They're alright once you get them back down to normal but you really gotta stick it out through those months to do it. And the kicker? They can only make more of themselves via biting. Or if they've got a cold and are inconsiderate enough to not cover their mouths when they sneeze. Not that you'll catch any of the ones here biting people though. That's rude and they're more likely to be chowing down on junk food than people. They looove stuff like Ding Dongs and stuff like that.

Not every Lander is the same though, since some of them seem to act completely differently to the regular Landers. One of them snuck up on me the other day, it wasn't fun.

TRAINRUNNERS- Okay, forget what I said about the Landers. THESE guys are complicated. Kind of, I mean. They're fast, super durable for the most part and their strain is also spread through bite and boy, does it spread FAST. It's probably for the best that there's so few of them living here. That's nothing against them, of course but uh... it's not fun to deal with?

And if takes a while to get a Lander back on track, then it takes even longer for a Trainrunner. Which is not as pleasant as you can imagine when they get out of control but hey, we push through. Some of them are kind of prickly people to deal with though. We're not sure if that's because of the way their strain affects their brains or if some of them are natural born jerks. But either way, if you see some literally rotten looking people with varicose like veins and wearing sunglasses (their eyes ARE kind of gross looking), then you're seeing a Trainrunner. Just be cool around them and you'll be okay.

I dunno who originally coined their nickname though. We don't even have trains here?

NEWDEADS- A sort of catchall term for zombies that don't fit in the standard definition of zombie but are similar enough to their regular counterparts to qualify as one. It's not too uncommon to see a Newdead with a pulse (That's me!) but as long as they have a couple of traits seen in either Romeros, Landers, or Trainrunners, they can count as a Newdead. The one difference between a Newdead and the other zombie types though is that Newdeads don't have to worry about losing control and going on a complete rampage just to eat some dang flesh. Newdeads are kind of like humans the most? But also kind of not? They're stuck in a weird in between of being both and neither.

Don't ask how a zombie can have a pulse though. Yeah, I know it doesn't make sense but we're all made and sometimes rot and decompose in different ways and you'll break your brain trying to understand it so don't fricking question it. We're all kind of dead and that's just it! :>

Anyways, that should be just about every type of zombie seen here mostly! Might have missed a few but I can always edit this thing. Or just make new pamphlets. Either one. Next one's going to be about vampires and let me tell you that one's gonna be wayyyy easier! Well bye! ^_^b <- (me giving you a thumbs up)

[melancholic-pigeon]

Alright, this is my last comment on the issue, for real this time.

@nerdykeppie is staffed by unprofessional, rude, cruel people who double down on their entitlement to be unprofessional, rude and cruel in public to their former customers.

You should know the sorts of people you're giving money to if you patronize them. The founder is liable to misread your words, lash out at you in anger over something he misunderstood, and generally behave like a tantruming child even if you go out of your way to be polite and give him the benefit of the doubt when he lashes out at you over his own poor reading comprehension.

I'm done getting into this. No, Spider is not ~required~ to be professional on his (public) personal blog which is closely tied to his business. I just think it's extremely stupid to double down on his "right" to be unprofessional on his public blog when he owns a business that is clearly tied to said public blog, because it reflects very poorly on both his personal character and his business. I think it is hilariously foolish and an extremely poor decision to openly advertise and defend your founder's unprofessionalism, which speaks of general lack of professionalism and poor judgment throughout the whole business, not just from Spider (though his lack of good judgment and public unprofessionalism is the most obvious).

So. Best of luck in the people involved resolving whatever problem in their lives that they're taking out on me, and beware interacting with them in any way because they will absolutely be rude as shit to you and then smear you in public and private for (/checks hand) apologizing for a miscommunication because you didn't mean what they incorrectly interpreted you to mean.

I can't fucking believe they still think they're in the right here and *I* am the one who needs to be ~asked not to contact them again~. You answered me THREE TIMES *after* I had blocked you because you cannot let go of the fact that you were wrong about a stupid fucking plastic pumpkin and the fact that I went OUT OF MY WAY to give you the benefit of the doubt.

(two of those three asks were frantic apologies because I genuinely felt terrible, and they were both met with meanness and scorn and snide insults about my communication failures.

Lol. Me. I'm the one who is failing to communicate and has poor reading comprehension because you misunderstood me and started lashing out like I personally strangled all of your pets for having the filthy nerve to apologize and try to clear it up.

Yeah. I'm the villain here. Sure, Jan.)

I'm done now, but enjoy having your unprofessional, cruel, immature nonsense publicly exposed. I stand by my actions (the ones I actually took in real life, not the fake pretend ones you made up because you misunderstood what I wrote) and I look forward to you experiencing the natural consequences of your own.

Don't give money to childish jerks.

[cursed-tale]

.

[jojotier]

thinking about the mental gymnastics I was bending in as a baby trans firmly in his egg and how it got expressed through that one Dave Strider trying on a dress oneshot I wrote when I was 15. Dave insisting theyre not trans or anything while two words later saying that they need to get it together and "stop subtly cringing at the word boy". "even though he was a boy (that's what he was born as, right?)" the constant thought of Bro as some specter of toxic masculinity and by extension transmisogyny. Describing the feeling of looking at themself in the dress as like when theyre wearing suits "but cooler somehow". Its 2k words of repression incarnate topped off with an authors note that reads "I am a cis person". By god my shell was so goddamned thick. Anyway transfem Dave superiority

[dietmimo]

I'm doing it. I'm making these into sticker sheets.

[thedrotter]

i saw this trend and it reminded me of Yuuichi okay i had to do it ... featuring Yuuichi's heart on the back: for once they get along on the topic of mayonnaise

[speedlimit15]

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