#i thrive on messy toxic relationships actually

[runawaymun]

Excuse me, miss

Would you please elaborate?

oh don't worry about it I'm just clinically insane actually

I know silvergifting is huge (and it has very much grown on me) but I think about the whole "Annatar went to Gil-Galad first and Gil-Galad and Elrond said hi your vibes are RANCID. Leave." basically daily. Like Tolkien says that and then never elaborates. How long was he there for? Was it like an instant thing (I have that in Tinuvion), or was he there for a while trying to wheedle his way into court? There is just so much potential for some interesting interactions here, which I am planning on exploring quite soon.

In any case what makes me insane about them is:

If we apply the transitive property to Arwen = Luthien and Arwen = Elrond then Elrond = Luthien in terms of looks. He is also Luthien born again. Which would freak Sauron the fuck out.

Okay but is he freaked out or turned on or fascinated? Part of me wonders if he would know whether or not he wants to fuck Elrond or kill him. There's a score to be settled here, he's just figuring out how he wants to go about it.

Something something Elrond could be king if he wanted to but he is intentionally subordinate to Gil Galad. Something something Mairon-Aule something something the temptation of Mairon. Something something "but you could be so much MORE. So much BETTER than him. Don't you want that? I could teach you so many things." something something mairon-morgoth parallels. (a theme which I very much like to continue with Silvergifting)

Does Elrond know this is a maia he's talking to or does he just know that he feels familiar? That something about him doesn't quite fit into this world in the same way that Elrond doesn't quite fit? Does he recognize part of himself in Annatar and wonder why? Is it something he hasn't felt since Elros left the world?

Does Annatar not realize at first who Elrond is, or not realize that the line of Melian and Luthien has diluted so little over the years? Is he taken aback by that spark of divinity and does some part of him want to refine it like gold in a furnace? To make something out of him? To turn Elrond into one of his greatest creations? To, perhaps, wake him up the way Morgoth woke him?

To perhaps feel less alone in this post-Morgoth world where he is cut off from all the others of his own species and can NEVER go back? To feel that connection to his own kind again? Does some part of him wish for Elrond to somehow be his redemption?

Ah, but the score to be settled with Luthien. No, no, what on earth is he saying? Let's come back to focus. He wants to break him.

There is just soooooo much potential. I am rubbing my evil little writer hands together about them. I want to put them in a centrifuge and watch it go brrrr

[vnti-vnxiety-recs]

NCT Dream as crybaby tops (M) ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

wrote this while procrastinating instead of working on learning curves 2 hehehe.

These will give you whiplash how fast the tone changes from each member LOL. inspo from this tiktok (If you don't have tiktok anymore it just says “who actually likes crybaby tops who apologize mid thrust?”)

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, overstimulation, dacryphilia, toxic relationship, cock ring, mature, MDNI

Mark

Mark was a sentimental man who cherished every little moment. This year, for your anniversary, you didn’t do much; you simply spent the entire day together, spoiling each other and watching movies. Later that night, he prepared dinner for you, and while you showered, he decorated the room. Rose petals adorned the new silk sheets, and candles flickered along the windowsill and dresser.

As soon as you stepped out of the shower, smelling heavenly, he laid you back against the mattress. He wanted you to feel all of him—his heart, mind, soul, and body—it was all yours.

“I love you.” The words were passed back and forth between you two as he showered you in adoration.

He didn’t realize he was crying until his vision started to blur, your face becoming fuzzy behind a veil of tears. He loved the way you looked beneath him, believing you were the prettiest person in the world. He moans, the sound coming from deep in his chest. He wanted to be closer, needed to merge with you, to feel you deep inside his very being. The depth of his love moved him to tears, and he couldn’t stop crying.

“I’m sorry,” he sniffled, and you couldn’t help but giggle at him through your own moans of pleasure. He wiped at his tears in embarrassment, but you cupped his face and kissed him deeply.

“It’s okay, baby. You’re safe with me,” you said, your voice breathy as he continued to thrust into you, not slowing down despite his tears. “I love you.”

He vowed to make sure you would never forget it.

Renjun

Renjun liked to think of himself as a patient man, but the truth was, he had no tolerance for games. You, on the other hand, thrived on them. You drove him crazy, always pushing him to the edge, seeing how far you could get beneath his skin. Your relationship was rocky, constantly on again off again. You two had a long and messy past but couldn’t keep away from each other long enough to heal from it.

You were perched on the edge of his counter, swinging your legs and flashing a dazzling smile as he raged at you. "You think this is funny?!" he shouted, frustration etched on his face. You shrugged nonchalantly, and he gripped his hair in exasperation. He blew out a breath, trying to calm himself down. “You can’t take shit seriously.”

Renjun cried when he was frustrated and that was why you do what you do. You laugh as you see the tears begin to well up in his eyes. You loved seeing him break down, loved the way his entire demeanor changed when he was humiliated. His chest huffs in annoyance but you notice the bulge straining against his sweats, he loved this just as much as you did. He loved being humiliated.

He yanks you off the counter and into his room, tossing you onto the bed roughly. 

“You come into my life again and again and you ruin everything,” he complains while undressing you. His lips connect to yours in a hot breathy kiss. His words were angry, but his eyes betrayed a different story – a hunger that burned bright.

There were times when Renjun swore he was done with you, that he'd finally had enough of the games and the drama. Times when he vowed to block you, to move on. You knew it was all just a show to make you think he was serious but you knew he'd always come crawling back.

He moved over you, his body hot to the touch when you wrapped your arms around him, holding him close. You moaned, feeling him sink deeper into you. You moan desperately in his ear, the way you clenched around him had him gripping your waist tighter. 

Other times he loved you, despite the chaos you brought into his life. In these moments, he was helplessly, hopelessly yours.

And when his anger settled, he would apologize, his body still moving with a rhythm that left you breathless. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice cracking. "Please don't leave me. I take it back – I didn't mean it." Tears fill his eyes as he apologizes over and over again between each thrust.

You would always have him exactly where you wanted him.

Jeno

He didn't like being mean, and he truly hated yelling, so he felt terrible for getting onto you. The way you immediately deflated and your smile faltered almost made him want to jump off the balcony.

“I’m sorry, baby. Just let me get it for you,” he said, helping you down from the counter. It was partly his fault; you had asked him to stop putting the flour on the top shelf. It was all the way in the back of the cupboard and you were so proud of yourself for not needing his help. You had climbed up to get it while you were cooking together. You didn’t notice the hot stove right next to you, and nearly burned yourself in the process.

He just didn't want you to get hurt, so he apologized throughout dinner. You had assured him a hundred times that it was fine, but he felt the need to make it up to you. He showered you with affection, peppering your face with kisses, offering an apology with each one. You were having ice cream for dinner, and when you offered him some, he cheekily replied that he wanted you for dessert. You didn’t stop him when he dropped to his knees.

He eagerly tasted you, his mouth full but still managing to mumble “sorrys” against you. As your hand moved through his hair, sweeping his bangs back, you watched him devour you. Warm tears streamed down his face, smudging against your thighs. He could taste the salt of his tears mixed in with the sweet juice of your pussy.

“What’s wrong, baby?” 

He didn’t know why he was crying; he just hated that you looked so hurt earlier, and it was because of him. 

Later, when he had you pinned against the mattress beneath him, it was you who was crying, as he took you again and again.

Haechan

Haechan didn’t know what the word “enough” meant. He was never satisfied and could never get enough of being buried deep between your warm walls. After a long day at work, all he wanted was to unwind and lose himself in you. When you looked up at him, leaning above you, it was clear he had achieved just that.  He was completely gone, caught in a trance from the way you sucked him in. He couldn’t bring himself to pull out. 

Overstimulation sent tremors through your body, but you welcomed everything he gave you, knowing how much he needed this.. His eyes were glazed over as he fucked  into you, mumbling incoherent praises against your shoulder when he hid his face between your neck and shoulder. He had cum already but couldn't stop, you felt too good. 

“I’m sorry, baby. Please… it feels so good,” he begged, feeling you start to squirm as the overstimulation became overwhelming.

He had fucked himself to tears between your legs, shaky moans escaping his lips in embarrassment. His eyes watered, his bottom lip trembled, and yet he couldn’t stop. He looked so pathetic that you couldn’t help but clench around him even harder.

He looked surprised for a moment before a smirk spread across his face, sniffing back the tears. “Pervert,” he teased. “You like seeing me cry, don’t you?”

You showed him just how much you enjoyed it by flipping him onto his back and riding him until he was gripping the sheets.

Jaemin

Jaemin loved coming over to your apartment just to be with you. Whether you sat in comfortable silence for hours, watched movies, or yapped away, he didn’t mind as long as he got to spend that time with you. Tonight, there was nothing on the agenda—just an old Lifetime movie playing on TV while you both scrolled through your phones. His head rested in your lap as you sat up against the headboard, one hand scrolling through your phone while the other played gently in his hair.

“Can I tell you something?” you asked, setting your phone down.

Jaemin tossed his phone onto the bed and looked up at you with curiosity. “Go for it.”

“Don’t make fun of me,” you warned.

Jaemin already had a smile breaking through, and he chuckled softly.

You tugged on his hair playfully. “Stoppp! I’m being serious.”

He sat up, grinning. “Of course I’m going to laugh if you specifically tell me not to!”

“Are you done?” you asked, half-smiling.

“Okay, I’m ready.”

“I think it’s hot when guys cry in bed,” you admitted.

Jaemin’s eyebrows shot up in surprise; he wasn’t expecting the conversation to go that way. A look of confusion crossed his face. He couldn't imagine crying in bed—why would he feel sad getting fucked?

“Am I weird?” you asked after a pause.

“No, I guess I just don't understand,” he replied genuinely. “Why would I be crying in bed?”

“Because it feels so good,” you explained.

He tilted his head, considering your words. “I don’t think that’s possible. I doubt I would cry.”

“Bet?” you challenged. “I could so make you cry.”

“I’d like to see you try,” he teased back.

The next time he came over, you sent him straight to the bedroom. You had sat him against your headboard, grinding down against his clothed cock as you slowly built him up. You stop your makeout to undress and to pull out your surprise. He shuddered as you put the cock ring on him. Stubborn like a Leo, he insisted that a cock ring wouldn’t make him cry, but you shushed him and pulled him on top of you. As you kissed him, your hands roaming over his skin, you raked your nails softly down his back to coax him into letting his guard down. You were going to ruin him.

As he slipped between your legs, the cock ring seemed to fade from his mind. He was focused on thrusting into you and the way your hips were grinding against him. You pulled him down into another kiss, this one deep and slow as you swirl your tongue around his distractingly.

You slyly reached for the remote under your pillow and turned the cock ring up to the second notch. Instantly, his hips jerked in response, and his mouth dropped open. “Shit! Fuck princess,” he moaned desperately, grinding against you. He bites down on his bottom lip and a shiver runs down his spine.

“Come on, Jaem, don’t stop,” you encouraged, gripping his waist, pushing his hips back and forth to help him find his rhythm.

He buried his face in your neck, trying to pick up speed. Broken moans filled your ears, sending heat through you. Each time he bottomed out, the cock ring buzzed against your clit, making your toes curl. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper into you and pinning him down.

The cock ring vibrated deliciously, pushing tightly against him, and the sensations left Jaemin dizzy. As you reached your climax, you squeezed around him, and he lost himself in the moment, eyes rolling back as he came too. His body trembled, and when he looked down at you, tears filled his eyes. 

“I’m so sorry,” He slurs. “Fuck I couldn’t hold it.” Voice sounds wrecked as he thrust weakly, riding out his high. 

Once he had enough, he finally tapped out, and you stopped the vibrations. You unwrap your legs from around his waist, allowing him to pull out, breathless and spent. You watch as he collapses next to you, his chest heaving with each ragged breath, a mixture of shock and pleasure etched across his face.

“I told you so.”

[fictionalmenmakemecry]

Never getting over you

Characters: Carmy Berzatto x Reader

Summary: After a toxic split, you and Carmy had both moved on but a night of endless scrolling on social media brought back all the fever feelings you had for one Carmen Berzatto. You just want to check in on him.. That's all.

Warnings: None

Your eyes continuously moved as you mindlessly scrolled through your feed. People that you haven't spoken to in years, popping up, showing their recent adventures to another country or pregnancy announcements.

You could feel your inner envy growing seeing everyone hitting different milestones in their life. The struggle of trying to keep yourself level as you continued to scroll grew harder and harder.

Your eyes landed on one image. Everything stopped. Your twitching finger, fatigue eyes and even your breathing.

Your eyes never left his face. His soft smile that never conveyed how truly happy he was. Your started taking in other details of the photo. You finally realize what he was standing in front of.

The Bear

You finally let out you shake breath and started reading the words above the photo.

"Congratulation to my baby brother finally biting the bullet and going for it! Mikey would be so proud"

Even though it been a year since the split, you still had remained friends with Sugar. So, seeing this on your feed shouldn't shock you. But it did.

Memories flooded your mind of him talking about it. You would watch him as his mind tick along with so many ideas he had about The Bear.

You noticed that they went with the signage that you first proposed and you felt your heartache.

Sitting forward on the couch, leaning over his shoulder as he sat on the floor below you. His eyes scrutinized the font designs on your phone.

"Not bad.. I could see it" He murmured continuing to look at it.

A small smile crept up on your face. This was first of many things that you had showed him and that he actually liked.

Carmy was hard to impress, especially when he knew exactly what he wanted. Nothing could stray from his vision and The Bear was very much apart of that.

After all this, he had stuck with your idea. Even after the toxic and messy split you both went through. You didn't know where his head was today. With the The Bear up and running, probably full and unhealthily obsessed with it. The very point that broke you up.

You locked your phone and tried to convinced yourself that you didn't need to see it. You didn't need to visit it. You didn't want to accidently run into him. Or realize the past 9 month he has had a vice grip on your heart, making any date or protentional romantic interest pointless when nothing filled the hole he left.

The idea of him thriving without you, made you nauseous and left you in the dust of your own life. Which what scared you when you were with him and now you were feeling it anyway without him.

Before you knew it, you were across the street from it.

You stood still, taking in the warm hue of lights getting cast onto the street from the bustling inside. The narrow window gave you a hint of what was going on inside the kitchen.

But you couldn't see him.

You envisioned yourself going in and taking the empty table next to the window. Maybe even talking to Richie and congratulating him and then Carmy would....

You broke away from that train of thought when you realize how ridiculous it sounded. Carmy wouldn't do anything. He wouldn't give a shit. The way you were both wounded from the relationship probably have him running for the hills.

Your eyes caught someone coming out of the dark alley. A silhouette of a person with a head of hair that you knew too well. As they walked out further, the street light gradually bringing detailed to their figure.

You saw the end of their cigarette burn bright.

Both just stood there, looking at each other.

"Carmy?" You called out gently

Silence enveloped the street. His stare never leaving you.

"Yeah?" He replied flicking the end of his cigarette.

Apart of you wanted to just run across the street and see how he was doing. Ask him a million questions but your feet stood still and mouth stayed closed

"Cousin!" Another figure came out of the alley, Richie your presumed

"What?" Carmy tore his eyes from you.

Richie pulled him back inside, not noticing you on the other side of the street.

You felt your face turn red feeling like an idiot.

What were you doing?

You got caught. But that's what you wanted to happen. You wanted him to know that he was still on your mind. That nothing could shake the memories you had of him.

Every decision you made around Carmy was always the wrong one. it was a road that you knew too well and now it was starting again. After months and months of convincing yourself you don't need him. Your willpower unraveled just being around him.

You walked home feeling more lost than you have in months.

[josukegappyhigashikata]

Not every character is meant to be likeable: Jake Disventure Camp.

So, as of late I've been seeing people dislike and be annoyed at Jake and like... yeah! He is meant to be exasperating but I don't think that's bad writing at all.

Meanwhile I would absolutely never call Disventure Camp a perfectly written show I will say that it has had very good character writing with having delivered some high notes on both of the previous seasons so now I wanna talk about Jake's writing in All-Stars.

First of all, Jake's writing? Very consistent. Jake's title was the naive one and yeah he is naive. He is paranoid as hell, he is gullible as sin, he is easily tricked by others, he is so easily manipulable to the point of characters pointing that out and all of those traits have been consistent with Jake through his seasons. The newest trait found was Jake's jealousy over Aiden but that jealousy was born over his paranoia and naivety which are both part of his established traits.

Also, something to be mentioned is that just like Ellie, James and Riya he has a context and background for those tough edges. We know that Jake's family life is not the best both from the show and from extra material, we also know that he was in a toxic relationship that he later got cheated on which was the breaking point of the relationship. Living with a family that you feel that you're always waiting for a mess to happen, which is implied his parents don't accept his homosexuality, would have easily made someone paranoid which now with a toxic relationship and one of the actual worst things happened to him? Jake is always waiting for something bad to happen and when that bad thing happens he thrives in his own victimization. Meanwhile this was seen in his season this has been more focused on the latest season and not only that but it has been less sympathetic towards him how easily he falls into those spirals of negativity.

Jake has had a lot of focus on All-Stars but also he is one of the characters that has his arc not be resolved at all, just like how Alec, Aiden and Gabby didn't have their arcs finished on their seasons by having other characters take priority over them. Now it seems they're taking their time to finish almost all the arcs they didn't give a proper conclusion to.

Now, I will say that I don't adore how he is a grown ass man being coddled by women which now Ashley was used for his development even though I know a character like Ashley wasn't made like Grett or Jake where they really thought of making them deep characters. It's still no excuse to have a female character that had already not had a lot of time to shine just be a stepping stone for a male character but it has a reason for it even if I dislike it.

Is Jake a dislikeable character? For some people? Yeah, he is very much dislikeable but also the traits he is disliked for are things that are written to be traits you see as negative. You're not meant to say: "Oh, yeah. It's fine that Jake is a stupid dumbass that gets clouded by his feelings at any moment." because it's obvious that his arc is overcoming those flaws in his character.

You might find Jake dislikeable and that's alright but I don't think that's bad writing, it's also not wrong if you like him since not only is he an entertaining character in his own messiness (which is that messiness why I find him an entertaining character) but he is a sympathetic character with what we know of him.

You're not meant to like every character, sometimes characters start dislikeable and you're meant to see them grow out of their flaws which after the tenth episode of All-Stars it seems that's where Jake is going.

Ever so often you have to take a step back and ask yourself: "What are the creators trying to convey with this story? Is it me not liking certain traits of a character an intended outcome?"

[softascottontail]

i’m so fixated on bistro huddy rn and specifically clerry… i’m not even upset that it’s one sided because first of all, it’s so on brand for clint to only “flirt” with terry because he loves the attention, because this series literally thrives off of messiness and toxic relationships and second of all, it’s realistic for a gay man to fall for a straight man like come on. if you ever read toxic yaoi you’d know this is peak /hj.

but it lead me to think about how cool it would be if there was a new employee that has that same effect on terry as clint, but this time, he is actually gay. BUT THEN it leads me to think about… what if clint notices this gets annoyed (again, not even because he’s gay, he’s just likes the attention) and he starts doing things to get terry to basically fall for him again, then it’s up to drew where he wants to take that.

i have no one to talk about this to.

[flicklikesstuff]

-The Vees-

They give me the vibe of ‘friends with benefits.’

3 people who are so equally toxic that they can’t out-toxic the other 2 and the result is just a completely messy relationship in a toxic work environment that all 3 are somehow thriving and just living/sharing the dream with.

Like, they canonically would do sht on each other all the time but also…they do actually care a lot but would rather die twice than openly/directly admit it. Something like:

“Look, if you died and got killed by some fcker, I definitely won’t really give a sht. But before you die, leave a notification or clue on whoever did it just so I could pay them a visit.”

Yeah, Idk what I’m rambling about- 🤷

[crispy-art-on-fire]

My autism is thriving I shall now talk about my blorbo ship with almost nothing to even be the groundwork. I may have projected my love of guilty lovestruck men at William but it is my interpretation and so I can make it as indulgent as I want.

So basically toxic yaoi. Sean Hampton would rather die than talk about his feelings and his savior complex is not helping things despite being the groundwork this relationship is based on. William similarly is Not Talking About It but mostly for self loathing reasons. Being gay and Christian in 1918 he's just dealing with it by pining and hating that he's pining.

Hypothetically they could enter a relationship as humans but it would be such a situationship were they do not talk about it and only Will opens up while Sean acts like a caretaker. It's mostly built on bad and impulsive decisions to just act on their desires and then regret it but now with pandora's box open they don't know how to stop doing it.

I actually can imagine Skal!William/Human!Sean where William resists temptation to take what he wants long enough for Sean to get away but all in all this is Sean's savior complex at its most self damaging. Also does not help his crush (that he will refuse to acknowledge as a crush) is being very physical and touchy. I also propose that with how William like tries to resist alcohol he's been subconsciously trying to replace his addiction to alcohol with Sean. Which makes his wires super crossed as an out of control Skal.

I did not include Feral Skal!William/Skal!Sean because basically it's just William from prev part + Sean from this part indulging in their Skal desires which is Wanting to drink blood/Being God's chosen one. Aka them being their worst selves together in mutual destruction.

Given enough time in any of these stages they could probably learn how to Be In A Relationship but at the start they're going to be MESSY.

[9800sblog]

hello !! could you do soul from p1harmony ideal type? thank you :)

soul tarot reading

ideal type characteristics

in general

8 of wands, the devil reversed, 4 of wands

people see them more innocently than they actually are, this is someone with lots going on in their life, but you may only see what they post, for example, and think "that's all, sweet". they have a stable home life, in general, a loving family, many friends of all walks of life. they don't have a lot of prejudice, but theyre still very judgemental, it's like they're equally bitchy to everyone lmao they move fast and steady, they're very easily recognizable but equally confusing.

personality

10 of cups, judgement reversed, the world, 5 of wands reversed

unbothered, on their lane, thriving, happy whatever. they're curious and like to live their life to what they deem is the fullest, the type of person to wake up and go on a road trip to another country unplanned. they don't listen to criticism, as they genuinely don't care, no matter where they go, they're ready to create something good out of it, no matter who it is, they're ready to create a nice relationship out of it. often misunderstood, often not seen to the fullest, people stop at the first sign of controversy, missing everything else. they have a lot of patience to wait for what's meant for them. their entire life looks like a mess, if you want to, it's very organized and clean, actually, this is someone who is very easily liked.

appearance/style

10 of swords reversed, king of pentacles

they look like they work out a lot. their appearance tells a lot of history, their genetics may be very strong, and they may have prominent scars, maybe stretch marks, etc. they may have a body type similar to a soldier, I'm not getting much else, they may change their appearance a lot depending on the situation they're inserted in.

the devil reversed, 3 of cups reversed

messy girl aesthetic!! serena van der woodsen, ke$ha, etc. party people, devious looking, may not be acceptable everywhere, probably why they have to change their appearance often. they do dress and behave in a specific way to get a reaction out of people, may be often misconstrued as "I dress for myself only", but they're aware they live in a society and people will have opinions, and they know how to navigate it. does not mean they dress for people to like them, necessarily, it's like a test. they may really like the cheerleader aesthetic. movies like bring it on, the clique, wild child.

[delistravaganza]

I swear I relate to everything you have written about the enemies to lovers trope and lesbians.

it’s not even about lesbian representation, at least in fandom, of course that’s important but it’s not the point here, it’s about having wlw stories that are as...complex? Messed up? Intricated? as straight or even (in more recent years) mlm romantic storylines are allowed to be. I feel like I am constantly hungry of complicate stories with lesbian or bisexuals female characters involved in messy relationship. But almost every popolar ship that I meet on fandom or tv shows either is watered down, made all soft and sweet and not threatening and so not complicate enough to be appealing. (or in the fews that are not like that in the original media they get made in this way by the fandom- it’s so unnerving). it seems to me that’s it is either “tragic dead lesbian” or “soft sapphic story all is sweet uwu”. As someone who love stories with romance only when the romance is very complicated and not necessarily healthy and full of ambivalent feelings (don’t judge me as you said it’s just a matter of preference ashahaha) I sometimes read slash (mlm) fanfiction on ao3 that feature very complicate and not necessarily healthy dynamics and I go damn I wish that there was a fanfiction exactly like this but with two women instead of two men.

I get this 1000%. To be fair, I don't think it's just the wlw couples being UwUified in recent films and shows, this happens to all queer representation because of the pressure to create "good rep". To some extent, it's even happening with straight pairings because people are more aware now of sexism and what it really means to consent, though everyone still seems to be willing to let this knowledge fly off if teh guy iz HOT.

But there seems to be a particular issue with writing f/f interactions that are manipulative, dark or somehow more adult, not necessarily meaning sex but rather a more nuanced portrayal of the relationship. Whereas all the straight toxic romances went to specific (and thriving) genres such as "dark romance" (which at least seems to be more self-conscious as the Reylo fic I mentioned before), and we get glorious epics of m/m fanfiction stories (and books that feel like fanfiction), it sometimes seems like the women characters are treated as little girls.

Even in a dark, creepy, cannibalistic, adult-oriented show such as Yellowjackets, I found myself more interested in the hypothetical Jackie/Shauna pairing because oh boy that was complex! than in the actual lesbian pairings involving Tai, who is a great and somewhat nuanced character except when it comes to her (sanitized) relationships. Is it really just me favoring problematic and unhealthy dynamics or is there some truth to this? (It may be me.) Is Tai a bit tamed down because she's gay AND black?

Also, to be completely fair, I think that I have more expectations when it comes to wlw plots, maybe because I subconsciously think of them as more "me" than the others. I've read a lot about how women use slash to slip away from the narrative and write more freely, and the fact is - I've read a lot of trash when it comes to m/m. And I definitely don't remember it with the resentment I save for f/f media like First Kill ("you fucking set out to be everything I wanted and turned out to be a pile of dog shit!").

I have also read extremely interesting books featuring f/f dynamics on the latest years, which I could post here instead of whining à la Louis de Pointe du Lac, but the fact is that these books already set out to be a work of literary merit and weren't written to dwell on the romance or possible romance itself. I'm not even counting MBF here as I read it a while back for the first time, but it could be an example - I don't know, but it definitely wasn't written with UwUification in mind. I'm still thrilled at how much the marketing DID and DOES UwUify our girls and their relationship. Sometimes the marketing is like: Wouldn't you just love to have such a special friendship like these two? Uhhh what? No, thank you, I had my share of that shit?!?

Oh, and also - I'm not even sure it comes down to self-identification either. I said I identify with Catradora, but the fact is I don't necessarily identify with either Catra or Adora. I just identified with their feelings, and I felt empathy for them, and I worried and I suffered and I felt frustrated and I so, so, so hungered and feared for their fights and God, you should really check this one out because it's really on the edge between UwU and dark, and I think it's this mixture what made it work in today's world. It seemed to appeal to both parts of me - the one who lowkey wants the positive, young-and-healthy-oriented rep she didn't have as a teen, and the more prevalent one who prefers angst and twisted things. And yes, it's a cartoon. A cartoon did what many real, adult-oriented shows and books couldn't do with me.

But Catradora probably also worked because we, the audience, were purposefully kept in the dark about them, so we got to experience their story as it developed and without any clear expectation as what the end would be (compared to: here's your wlw romance of the day! Ship them! Hope they don't die!), something I'm sure you wouldn't be able to achieve now that all the info is out there.

Anyway, I'm rambling now and already taking too much time off work. But I find this topic fascinating. If anyone else wants to join in the conversation or point me somewhere that isn't Buffy/Faith or Catradora or Villanelle or Nicky/Lorna (YES I STILL SHIP THEM AND WILL ALWAYS DO) or our Neapolitan toxic friends, please do. And as always, nice talking to you. <3

---

P.D.: Here's a long video analysis that I really liked that tackles why "good" LGBT representation is boring (not wlw representation exclusively).

[jemmo]

wow im like… actually surprised by this first episode of dangerous romance. the trailer left me with the impression that this was gonna be some overdramatic, exaggerated rich boy and poor boy love story that’s just cliche and over the top and like… it might turn out to be like that… but even if it does, i wont be mad bc they’re like actually pulling it off. the vibe of it all, the quieter, more somber atmosphere, the cool tone to the colouring, the performances man the PERFORMAMCES!!! (i shouldn’t be shocked, it’s perth and chimon), but it all comes together to make a show that should feel so excessively dramatic in that trope-ey way actually feel grounded. i love that kang is actually a piece of shit!!! and that i can see it’s clearly bc he wants attention from his dad and wants to find purpose outside of this materialistic, rich boy lifestyle, but that doesn’t change the fact he’s actually a piece of shit!! and that sailom is not a poor boy trope, he has a lot of strength and courage and won’t take shit but also won’t rise to anything, that he’s smart and he uses it against people, and im crossing my fingers that his character remains strong and he isn’t just reduced to the poor boy with a golden heart equivalent to a manic pixie dream girl that just serves to awaken the good guy within kang, but with the way they’ve pulled off this first ep, i remain kinda hopeful that they’re doing something more interesting than that. i mean, just the fact that kang’s father isn’t pushing him to be smart and do everything and become important and rich like all the other rich boy stereotypes makes me think this show might look at things from a different angle. and as for the romance… i just hope it is messy. I mean, between this and only friends, something tells me this bl season is gonna be all about toxic, messed up relationships that thrive in the grey area and that’s so my shit, and im excited by it. let’s just hope gmm have wisened up enough to handle these things.

[buttacake80]

adding in my 2 sense with the samantha situation bc i feel like everyone here talking about it has never been in a toxic codependant relationship. she's that typical white spoiled mean girl who has her public famous bf and her secret hookups. he's stupid and easily manipulated. how long do you see them lasting? and can we get your opinion? like i feel like you know how adult relationships work.

It's hard to say.

First, the divorce rate for first-time marriages in the US is 43%. That number changes based upon race & age. There's a higher divorce rate for 2nd and 3rd marriages.

Amongst athletes, that number jumps to 60% to 80%.

I suspect infidelity is one of the main reasons. I think some couples thrive when the husband is gone 6-8 months of the year, but once they are home on a permanent basis, they realize they aren't compatible. In other cases, I think there are pure financial reasons at play. I am even positive there are some spouses who left athletes in order to pursue their own career aspirations.

Regardless, that number is a lot higher than the average American household.

I don't know what the specific divorce rate is within the NHL. But, the league seems to be a lot more conservative when compared to the NFL, WNBA, NWSL, and NBA. I'd say MLB is only more conservative than the NHL. I am unsure about MLS.

Owners don't like messy players with messy personal lives. That's true across every pro league, but the NHL seems irrationally intolerant to individuality. And, it's likely to be a younger player who tests the boundaries of individuality.

I reckon a young immature millionaire whose frontal lobe hasn't fully formed (i.e. Matthews & the Scottsdale incident) is a threat to league conformity. Not simply a liability.

So, I bet there are folks in management advising these young players to seek stability in the form of a relationship. "Everything about your life is chaotic, so why don't you find a sweet girl to come home to?"

[Hell. Specifically within hockey, I suspect that there is a wee superstitious few who view getting married (or remaining unmarried) as necessary to winning the Cup.]

I don't think it's a requirement. Just a general expectation that they have a main girl who is suitable enough to attend team functions. Who won't air their business out when things go left. And who won't make a fuss if her beau sees another girl or two on the road. It's about maintaining appearances.

The average age for first-time marriage is between 28-30. So, there are young athletess who are legitimately in love and who think they have found their life partner (it's just unlikely that it is the case).

Furthermore, there are probably some players who really, really want children, so they settle for a woman who understands what she is getting into. It's a marriage of convenience. He gets kids. She gets his money. It works until it doesn't.

📣It only becomes an issue for me when innocent folks get tangled up in these understandings.📣

From the outside, it may seem like their relationship doesn't work. To us. But we aren't privy to the inner concessions they have made to exist in such a public relationship. As long as both parties have agreed that their relationship is open or has some other fluid aspect to it, then it's not my concern.

And, because folks do cheat, it's hard to know if one is in an actual open relationship or if they are operating on their own agenda.

Which is why I advised that other anon not to shit where she eats. It would suck to get caught up with the athlete in your building, only to find out you misunderstood the status of your relationship. Then you're stuck in your lease, trying to avoid the asshole who might pop up with another girl.

[sicklyseraphnsuch]

In a world where Crocker and Egbert swap sessions, Rose Lalonde gets the "I'm not a homosexual" treatment

and Crocker gets the "June" treatment (FtM), still becomes Batter Witch 2.0 before the egg breaks, so if you thought Egbert's transition was slow as hell...

Meanwhile, Egbert gets forcefemmed in the Alpha session.

Im joking.

Or am I?

(June and Dirk as best friends? It really depends on how pan/bi the end up being... If June and Dirk decide they only like girls/boys respectively, the ships are neat as hell. But honestly, I kinda enjoy the idea of June throwing Dirk for a loop bc he might like her but she's a girl??? Get some confusion smartass!!! Meanwhile, whatever the fuck June actually feels remains buried under fifty layers of repression, so... no change there)

Personally, I kinda like the idea that Roxy and June try it in the Alpha session and they're the messy gay couple - not DirkJake. In true toxic yuri fashion as is their right, they break up.

It would also end up hilarious if Jake and Dave end up together when the Beta and the Alpha sessions meet ala JohnRoxy in canon - but only bc Dirk and Jake do the pepsicola tango in their session (meaning there's a thriving ship and Dirk is obviously gay wtf man, and it is absolutely bc without Jane to play accidental wingman, Dirk never gets his shit together) - I like to call it the subway shuffle tho

June and Jake are so fucking dense, theyre combined brain power creates a black hole. If Roxy didnt have all the game, no one would be getting any in the Alpha session for fucking real

the Beta session goes about the same, but Jane and Rose may or may not have bullied Dave into coming out of the closet faster. Meanwhile, Rose's crush on Jane may have inadvertently kept Jane's egg safe from any cracks.

Also, Im honestly kinda curious how Jane would react to Dave's endless spewing of toxic masculinity. Bc on one hand, maybe she looks at Dave's idea of masculinity and she looks at her Dad's idea of masculinity, and maybe she calls bullshit. On the other hand, I can fully see Beta!Jane having some radfem leanings (which maps to her whole deal with reproductive rights in canon). Her tendency to be terfy is what leads to her becoming a tyrant, in case that wasn't clear.

(Rose hates her, that ultimately is what cements the crush - Jane gets on her last goddamn nerve and thats hot as hell. Dave and Jade are longsuffering bros that break up their fights. Jane and Rose's client/server catfights are legendary)

Like I said... Jane's eggshell is fucking thicker than a fort knox safe

(re: ectobabies, it is later revealed that June is Jake's daughter, which is actually quite wholesome since Jake always considered her as a little sister as well. He may or may not have jokingly gave Roxy the shovel talk. And it is later revealed that Jane is Jade's mom somehow despite being the same age, they had a very sisterlike relationship from the get-go, so...

As an aside, Jane was labeled the Mom friend and she fancies herself actually everyone's mom - which Jade tolerates, Dave dismisses or eggs on depending on how ironic he's feeling, and Rose despises with every fiber of her being)

[zehecatl]

2024 media thread PART SEPTEMBER

13th September: Transformers Earthspark s1

god damn, this really is just an overall banger- both as a Transformers show, and as a show on its own merits. surprisingly well-written, really well animated and choreographed (dude, some of these fight scenes, holy shit), with engaging characters and a really solid plot. like, this is a good show

it's not without any flaws, but out of the 26 episodes, there's only two episodes where i had annoyances- and even then, i wouldn't call a single episode bad. the way they kind of compare Transformers to immigrants is, like. a choice. but it's pretty easy to overlook, especially since it barely shows up, and i don't think the ground idea is inherently bad. also, as a Transformers fan, i would like to see more of the pre-existing 'bots! i do love the Terrans, like genuinely so, but also. my babies. show them to me

i really love the theme of family, and also how the show handles the Cybertronian war, and the after-effects of said war- it pretty much feels like every pre-existing 'bot has trauma, and it doesn't feel accidental. hell, it's even outright addressed at times, and while it's still very much coming from a children's show, it's pretty well-written, and i really hope s2 gets around to touching on it even more

also, also, the way this show handles the Autobot-Decepticon relationship is so interesting, and a lot of fun. there's the obvious case of Megatron himself going 'good', and the fallout he has with numerous of the Decepticons (his divorce energy with Soundwave and Shockwave is off the charts), but there's also smaller moments, like Bumblebee knowing Brawl by name, or even just the few moments where the Decepticons are shown in a kinder light, where we get a little glimpse into why they started their cause... i really want s2 to touch on this one more, since it's probably one of the most interesting things Earthspark is doing

like, overall, i'm just a really big fan of this show? it's genuinely really fucking good, and i'm looking forward to checking s2 out at some point, especially since the fandom seems to be throwing a hissy fit about it

also it made me ship Megatron/Shockwave, and i cannot complain about that. Megatron has two loyal husbands, and he does not deserve them at all 💖

16th September: ZERO (Toume Kei)

being so honest, this is a deeply mid ass manga. like, i wouldn't exactly call it bad, and i think it could make a really fun movie, but. it's not exactly good either, lol

mainly, i read this because the main girl antagonist has such a good design. like, the art is on point for the girls, i really like the slight edge they have to it- but anyway, i really like Mao's character. she has such a seme vibe, and i kind of really fucking love with it. would kidnap her as a character and make her have a messy sapphic relationship with another girl. wish it had been about her. she could have seme'd that twink ass protag so hard, and i would have loved that

16th September: Dark Forest, White Road

the atmosphere of this one is so excellent, actually. it's very melancholic, which really matches with its winter setting, and i think this would really have thrived with a longer run time

there isn't a lot of meat here, really, but it feels like there is. the story is brimming with potential and interesting set ups, from the honestly toxic relationship between the main character and her sister, to the fleeting connection between her and the love interest; also, the way the love interest is written is interesting, because again, it feels like there's so much left unsaid, so much you could explore further

also, the art here is really gorgeous? like, it matches the atmosphere so well, and i just really like how it's drawn.. i would have consumed the shit out of multiples volumes, is all i'm saying

16th September: The Miko's Words and the Witch's Incantations

primarily read this for the art, which is absolutely gorgeous, and really up my alley- though i did end up rather liking the whole thing, even if it was a bit confusing at the start

this one has a really interesting set up, with a witch saving a miko from a shrine she's been trapped in her whole life, and the consequences that causes- i actually think this one would make a really good OVA, and that as a stand-alone volume, it actually works rather well

it's nothing super deep, but it was a pretty cute read, and i think some of the stuff that went down in the climax could make for some really interesting story beats

16th September: Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves

i'm not actually a DnD'er, and most of the information i do know about it comes second-hand, so while i did recognize some stuff (the owlbear!! the underdark!!) this really was just a rather fun fantasy movie for me

i do think they put a lot of effort into bringing the setting to life, and it was a really good movie, like i had a great time, but it's definitely more of a popcorn flick than anything else- though i would definitely love a sequel!

i do kind of wish we had gotten some actual bard action... like, i don't know how exactly it's supposed to work in-game, but i feel like the lead was... super useless lol. like, he truly did shit

19th 26th September: Love Bullet v1

since this is only a single volume right now, i don't think there's a lot you can really say about Love Bullet, but- that's not really gonna stop me, lol

it definitely, like absolutely for real, deserves the hype it's getting. like, it's such a solid first volume, and i'm straight up gonna be heartbroken if it gets cancelled, because there is so much potential here

first of, the art is so so gorgeous, and the manga really utilizes the medium, with lots of parallel shots and framing, and just- i'm not an art person, okay, but this is some good fucking shit

secondly, while we obviously haven't known the characters for very long, and we haven't seen much of Ena especially, just from what little we've seen, and the designs themselves, it's obvious these are well thought out, and well-written, characters. like, i'm genuinely so excited to see more of all of them, because they're already so dynamic and fun, and i really like seeing them interact with each other

also, also! there seems to be some really good layers, here. there's mysteries already being sown, not just with the relationship between characters (Kanna and Chiyo? 👀) but also for the actual cupid system in general. like, the whole 'losing' the hiragani and kanji in the names is interesting, and i think there's for sure some stuff going on in the background that we don't know about yet, and it makes me so excited to learn more about this world

also! i just! really like the action!!! it's so well done, and i love how much detail the mangaka has given to everything (they use different martial arts!!!! the guns!!! it's so fun!!) and i'm just- i'm so very charmed by this manga, and i really really really want it to get super huge and big, so we can get an anime and maybe an english release, and just.. this has so much potential

as a yuri, there's not a lot going on so far, but what we have is, so far, really good. i definitely think we're going to get more, and i definitely think said more will be really fucking tasty, because it feels like this mangaka knows what she's doing, and i think she is going to feed us so fucking good

basically, i just. really like Lovet Bullet so far. and i really hope we get more... please... more cute girls

26th September: Reverie in a Deserted Bus

it's a cute little tragedy with some nice art, and a fun set up. i've actually been meaning to read this one for yeaars, all primarily because i really like the set up of an abandoned bus...

26th September: Damdam!!

THE FACT THAT THIS ONE IS ONLY A ONESHOT SADDENS ME SO MUCH, BECAUSE THE POTENTIAL HERE IS UNREAL...

it's basically a dark action yuri, wherein our two protagonists is part of a super special secret force that specializes in killing monsters. also they're both high school children. because of course

i really really love the set up here, like i'm just a huge fan of monster killing and yuri action, and this one nails it so good. the monster design is excellent, and the art really works for the type of story this is, and also the yuri, while not the focus, is so toxic and fucked, i fucking adore it. and while we obviously don't get a lot of the characters, i did really like them... one of them is super rude and brusque, and calls her partner bitch, and the other is just absolutely in love with her, and is delighted by her very presence, and i just. i wanted more. so bad

26th September: Efude to Kuro Kinu

this one has a pretty good build up, and while i don't think the lack of actual yuri is a failure, i did kind of want more actual yuri...

but! the toxicity is pretty tasty, and the art really works for the story, and i actually really liked the ending. also we just love to see older women in yuri <3

29th September: Wavetale

a genuinely really excellent little gem of a game, that's also a throwback to the 3D platformers of the PS2 era. which i am a huge fan of, like really huge, so of course i was going to love this game

which i do! especially because it's greatest strength isn't actually the platforming (which, being honest, isn't super deep or complex) but the story! which is really good!!!

it's a very ghibli-esque story, set in a post-war/post-apocalyptic world, wherein the whole world is more or less covered in water- which the game lets you surf around on, by the way, and it's great fun- and also the dark mysterious ~gloom~ that fucks you up, and all has basically more or less ruined most of the world. like. the protagonist doesn't even know what apples are. it's banging

it's one of those stories about grief and war and a bit o' environmentalism messaging, which, again- very ghibli! and, like ghibli, it keeps a more light tone, even when it properly addressed said themes, which is obviously helped along by the (very nice) more cartoony visuals

like, i could see this as a ghibli movie. i really good

anyway! as a game, it's definitely not super complex or deep- the combat is very easy, the platforming is easy (but nice. i liked doing it :3), there's no real puzzle elements, etc etc. i do think the surfing mechanic is very fun, but, again- not very deep. but! i think that's okay!! sometimes a game is a vehicle to tell a story, and the gameplay is there to help the narrative flow, or even just underline it- as much as i think the combat is a bit superfluous, it helps with the narrative flow, and so i can't really fault its existence

it's a good game. not very long, but i really liked it, and its story, and its characters. it feels like a work of love and passion, and i always love to see that :]

29th September: Transformers One

so every Transformers fans have already say that this movie is really good, so i'm not coming with any new take, here, when i say, oh my god. this movie was really frickin' good

like. it is SO GOOD. and just- seeing Transformers, animated, on the big screen- it feels so huge. monumental. for so long we have eaten the live action scraps, and now it's animated and it's good, and it's about THEM, and we see CYBERTRON, AND JUST. AAAAAAAAAAAA. IT'S SO GOOD. IT'S SO FRICKIN' GOOD I COULD COMBUST ABOUT IT

(also i will now engage in spoiler talk. if you have not seen the movie, go see it. right now. seriously)

putting aside the sheer fucking hype of this movie even existing, i also think it's the perfect 'starting point' for a possible new 'generation' of Transformers. going into the backstory of Optimus and Megatron is not just fun, but also a really good way to set the stage for (possible) future movies. also, man, it's just. it's so good. i loved seeing the divorce happen on-screen, the way they did Megatron's turn to evil was so good, and while it's obviously a bit- not really rushed, but this is a movie, and we got a time constraint here, it just feels good. the scene with him and the High Guard where he nearly kills Starscream, ough, it's so fucking good. Starscream goading him on and then eventually cowering, like yessss, start off your future toxic gayship properly, i love you <3

ALSO SHOCKWAVE. SHOCKWAVE. I LOVE YOU. I ADORE YOU. LITERALLY NEARLY GIGGLED OUT LOUD WHEN HE SHOWED UP, HE'S MY FUNNY LITTLE MAN <3 <3

also, can i just say- i love Elita? i love Elita so much??? she should, by all account, fall into the 'strong female character' archtype, but, at least to me, she doesn't. she has the trappings of it, but she just- she doesn't feel forced, she doesn't feel badly written, she feels as at home as everyone else, and i love her SO much. her relationship with Optimus is really fun, and also i think she should kiss Shockwave (what. who said that)

also i was rather hesitant about Bee at first, because i haaaaate when they flanderize an existing character into the comedy role, but- they make it work. guy who has been alone for literal years and cannot stop talking now due to trauma and FRIENDSHIP EXCITEMENT. he's fun. i forgive him for his crimes <3

i am, being very honest, not much of a fan of MegaOp. both as characters, and as the ship, but man. this movie did them so good. literally the MegaOp divorce movie of all time. i see what y'all are seeing, and i have to stan. friends to enemies go hard every time, and it goes hard here. like, when Megatron lets go? holy fucking shit? that was SO SICK, and just. the whole climax itself. was so frickin' good

also i love how surprisingly brutal this movie is?? and i hope if we get a sequel they turn that shit up, because it was tasty. Megatron tearing Sentinel in two, like yes baby get his ass

ough, i just. i love this movie. i need a million more. i need more focus on the Quintessons (I LOVE HOW THEY DID THEM IN THIS MOVIE. I LOVE HOW THEY'RE NOT THE FOCUS. I LOVE HOW THEY'RE A LITERAL LOOMING THREAT, AND THEY DON'T EVEN SPEAK!!) and i need the Autobot-Decepticon war, and i need to see everyone. all of them. especially more Jazz, i am so charmed by his little cameo role, like that's my baby boy!!! he is so cute!!!

(ALSO AIRACHNID WAS SO COOL??? HELLO??? HER AND SENTINEL WAS TRULY JUST ICONIC AS FUCK)

ANYWAY THE MOVIE WAS SO GOOD. I NEED THE DVD IMMEDIATELY SO I CAN REWATCH IT ON LOOP. A THOUSAND MILLION OUT OF TEN, BEST MOVIE ALL YEAR, GIVE IT ALL THE AWARDS

[c1trvswurld]

Some tags I thought were rlly good and also summerized my feelings on genuinely writing and portraying them.

This is why personally I cannot vision love at first sight or really fast burn depictions of theor relationship because for me bare minimum it would have to take YEARS for them to even speak on a friendship level. Bc at the end of the day these are two grown men who probably have completely different concepts of what love is and how it should be displayed (especially with hanzo being in the clan). For them to actually ever really catch feelings besides like maybe initial sexual attraction it would have to be a constant uphill effort that I don't think either of them are emotionally mature in their own regards to continue. There relationship to me is one of one sided spark of the moment feelings that fade in a months worth, it's a messy situationship that neither of them want to define bc that would force them to have agency, its toxically relying on the other either sexually or emotionally when all hell breaks loose. Bc on some level they understand the desperation, but you know that they can't pull you out of deep waters when they're drowning themselves.

A relationship like there's would last for years and thrive like some nasty ass nuclear yaoi oroboros. Bc they the only people they could drop the act around but are disgusted and scared when it gets to real and to damn tangible.

That's why the typical meet, slowly fall in love, confess, date, and be married forever thing just doesn't work for me with them. I can invision them dating. But simply not for long and definitely for a selfish benefit. I think they could even lie enough to themselves to get married but that'd fall apart quickly as well.

The only way they work for me is if they are a long lasting qpr thing tbh.

Because a quick bedding and a shoulder to lean on can be a single night, a mutual loving and respectful relationship is work. Work that I am don't think either of them can put in. At least not in this stage of their life.

Wrote about this in the tags of another post, but my biggest yeehan petpeeve is seeing hanzo be feminized when being shipped with Cole or any man perceived as more masculine than him in fandom. I'm fine with ppl having their size difference fantasies, but let's be real? Hanzo is just as if not more buff than Cole. Like, have you seen the size of his tits? His forearms? Literal beefcake. The only thing tiny on him is his waist and his ankles that I'm still a 100% convinced are mechanical ( idc overwatch canon he cannot be that top heavy with such tiny twigs).

But back to my point. The whole appeal to yeehan. At least personally--is the homoerotic nature of putting two men who are the pinnacle of traditional nastolgic masculinity in their own respective cultures together and making them scissor hard like barbie dolls. Then, be too caught up in their masculinity and internalized homophobia to talk about it during the morning after.

[kazuwhora]

hello hello, i see your requests are open now and can i request izana, wakasa, chifuyu and kazutora with an akutagawa!s/o? hope you have a great day/noon/night! ✨🤗

hi anon! sure! I will try my best with izana and wakasa since there's not tons to work with personality wise so forgive me if theirs are a little shorter heh. im gonna include a little blurb from the bsd fandom wiki for anyone not familiar with his character! I like these kinds of headcanon requests so if anyone wants to see more please feel free to request!

"Akutagawa has a black and white "survival of the fittest" view of the world, claiming that weak people should die and give way to the stronger ones. He is not afraid of pain and defeat His ruthless, vicious nature makes him one of the Port Mafia's most dangerous members, feared by both ally and foe. As violent as he is, Akutagawa maintains a generally composed and detached approach. Towards subordinates and superiors alike, he acts aloof, distancing himself from social interactions however possible. Nonetheless, his composure is fragile. Akutagawa is quick to lash out, ridiculing him for risking the bounty by acting recklessly. This quick temper often gets in his way, fuelling his actions to the core of his very being."

SUMMARY: izana, wakasa, chifuyu, && kazutora with an akutagawa!so

CW: hints of toxicity and violence, mentions of sex but not really all that nsfw-ish so otherwise not much else!

IZANA

- this is an interesting one because from what we know about izana, he is very similar in personality to akutagawa in terms of ruthlessness that stems from childhood trauma and isolation.

- in the case of a s/o with this personality, I think it would be a troubling relationship. lots of bitter fights fuelled by nothing but an inability to express vulnerability, while leaving both of you torn up inside and begging for someone to nurture the trauma and allow space for emotions.

- that being said, with toxicity and trauma also comes intense passion and desire. this relationship brings a lot of fire both in the bedroom and outside of the bedroom, with simple arguments often spawning into intense desperate (and lengthy might I add) sex. like, intense. it's almost like sex is the only safe outlet of these pent up emotions, providing a sort of comfort and also distraction for both parties.

- however as I said in general, this is definitely a toxic relationship. one where neither can help the other when it comes to growth and improvement on a personal level. it's unhealthy and enabling, but for a short lived fling it is hot as fuck im not even gonna lie. lots of hate sex too.

WAKASA

- so wakasa is another interesting one alongside izana given the lack of information and content we have about his character so please excuse the slight kc fanon version I have in my head of wakasa lol

- wakasa has a "don't fuck with me because I do not fucking care" type of vibe to him. I definitely think he's the type to completely disengage from the type of behaviours an akutagawa-type s/o might display. this leads to sort of a sense of competitiveness in trying to get some kind of reaction from him, and it has the potential (much like izana) to become toxic in nature

- any attempts to get under his skin are failed attempts, and the way he looks at you with that half bored expression is something that only triggers more of a somewhat emotional response from you.

- with that being said, my fanon version of wakasa is someone who while cold and aloof, is also quite a rational person. he's been typed by the fandom as INTJ which is quite a quick thinker, and I think he probably (despite not showing it very well) has a soft spot for you. but your passion and intensity (as well as your easily triggered dynamic) keeps him from completely being able to express this care in any way other than not engaging with your antics

- as much as there are some similarities with the type of toxicity in this relationship with both wakasa and izana, the intense passion isn't quite the same as it is with izana. instead, feelings of passion are more to the point and driven by pure instinct and desire rather than toxic passion. wakasa seeming like a very literal person, is actually quite mysterious deep down and has a lot (I mean a lot) of hidden desires and kinks that begin to emerge with time. it's rarely a conversation, and more often just something that happens that surprises you. you just have to go with the flow here, and let him take the reigns for once. it might actually be a good opportunity to allow for vulnerability to take the spotlight for once, which is something wakasa is surprisingly in tune with and quite to the point about.

CHIFUYU

- this is something much healthier than the last two. chifuyu, being an enfp is someone that's able to handle this level of intensity in a person while still being able to understand what's really going on.

- call him the trauma counsellor king. he values each and every response to a trigger that you might have. he notices patterns, he makes mental notes of things, and he does this all without making it seem like he's analyzing.

- to be honest he actually loves the spunk you bring on a day to day level. even though most of the time it's driven by bitterness or hate (not always towards him just in general) he is still able to see beyond that and appreciate you for what you are.

- with that being said, chifuyu will not stand for any toxic behaviour towards him. no sir he will not. threats and pushes for fights wont be tolerated, and he will either disengage or try to expose your vulnerabilities in an attempt at forced submission. this can be hard to get used to, especially with having a personality characterized by the inability to accept being vulnerable. but with time chifuyu is one to create a safe space for you to allow yourself to feel emotions beyond anger and resentment, and he encourages this.

- because of this very feelings based approach, intimacy with chifuyu is just that: intimate. he's extremely loving and doting, hoping that his sweetness can rub off on you a little bit. however he's also very accepting of your need for power over him (especially during sex) and will absolutely submit to your needs in order to please you.

- he really likes to put you in a place of pleasure though, so however that may come to you chifuyu is the one to deliver it.

KAZUTORA

- oh boy. this one is a doozy. listen. if we're talking about timeskip kazutora (as is the case with all characters i write about but I feel it especially important to remind ppl of here given his history), we're talking about someone who is quite literally walking on eggshells in terms of his trauma and emotional vulnerability.

- he's pretty good at being emotionally aware of his needs and struggles as well as the needs and struggles of those around him, but that doesn't mean that he's entirely healed or capable of managing toxicity or his triggers. he still slips up from time to time especially when things get hard, and sometimes finds himself falling into his old patterns. after all, he's only human. but this is where things could get messy in a relationship.

- for the most part, like I said, he's pretty good. so let's focus on that part first since I want to give him credit where it's due. he is very desperate for love and dedicated to providing something to his partner. in this case, he will seek to tap into his emotional vulnerability to provide some sort of comfort for you. he wants to see you happy, and calm, because he sees so much of his old self in you that it gets to him sometimes. but at the same time, he struggles with your relentlessness and can become emotionally drained when things get tough. he'll beat himself up for not being good enough to help you, and this is when he'll isolate and fall into old patterns.

- however, akutagawa's personality type isn't all bad. with a s/o like akutagawa, comes an immense amount of protection and loyalty for their loved ones no matter how tough things might be. in this case it might be hard to communicate this, but there will be times when it's needed in order for kazutora to restrain from old habits and ways of dealing with hardships. but he wants to share his healing with you, he wants you to be happy, and more than anything he understands the struggle of wanting to be happy and healthy but being afraid of losing the one thing that makes you you: your attitude and relentlessness. nobody understands this better than kazutora, which is why things between you can get frustrating and very personal for him.

- much like chifuyu, sex is driven towards pleasing you and only you. chifuyu leans more into switch territory however, while kazutora is 100% submissive. in this case it works out well, however he has a lot of boundaries and limitations when it comes to the way in which you function. he doesn't like degradation. instead, he thrives from praise and any sign of love and care. this might be tough for you to execute 100% of the time, but when it comes down to it the way his eyes twinkle for you is enough to make the ice around your heart melt just a little more each time.

[danpuff-ao3]

jegulus

Hello there Anon! Thanks this is a fun one! I do ship it!

1.) What made you ship it?

A fic, I'm sure. Or maybe other people raving about it on Discord. Actually, it was probably people raving about Jegulus, me checking out a fic and being like "wait wow yeah I dig this." I just never thought about it before and then when I did I was "meh" about it but...Well. Here we are!

I'm pretty sure it was The Heart of a Lion that sold me.

2.) What are your favorite things about the ship?

THE ANGST AND DRAMA.

Between the "best friend's brother" issue on top of "Black family issues" and y'know...the war. I love it. I thrive on it.

Like first I gotta think of Sirius and Regulus' relationship, and how troubled it is. Sirius broke away from his family. So his own judgment and disdain for his own family. Regulus feeling betrayed and hurt, because his big brother abandoned him. And his own disdain since their values are now unaligned. And whatever bitterness he might have felt for Sirius being "the heir" and now "the rebel." And his own sense of family loyalty. It's just complicated and messy, y'know?

So I love the idea of Regulus being a bit jealous of the Marauders, since Sirius chose them. They're also in opposing houses, with that good ole Gryffindor-Slytherin rivalry. They were also Quidditch players, so an added layer of competition there. Then the fact that James went on to join the Order, and Regulus became a Death Eater. And Regulus being from a blood purist family, and James being a blood traitor.

So they're sort of starcrossed lovers. Probably starts off with at least mild rivalry, or even just annoyance/dislike. For James, Regulus isn't just Sirius' brother, he's Sirius' brother that Sirius doesn't like, or at least has a complicated relationship with. Whatever issues there are with hooking up with your best friend's brother, this makes it even worse, doesn't it?

Then for Regulus, there's jealousy, both for James "stealing" Sirius, but also James' longtime obsession with Lily. Even if that obsession fades, or even dies, when James and Regulus hookup. And the inevitable downfall of their romance during the war.

Though I like to imagine a world where they both survive...Lily and James divorce, James and Regulus reunite, and a cute little coparenting situation with Harry. 🥰

3.) Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Like with Snarry, probably my specific preferences are unpopular. All the "wrongness" and drama of it all. Really leaning into all the angst and dysfunction. My preference for showcasing character flaws, and my love of unhealthy/toxic dynamics.

ship asks

answered: Dramione, Snarry, Jegulus