#i thought we were all down for having a nice commune and public food garden rather than titles and stuff

[terastalungrad]

BB20: Thursday 19 October

Henry's sad to be nominated. He's just been himself, but that clearly isn't enough for some people.

(Henry - the problem is that being yourself has meant not doing any chores.)

Dylan is thrilled to escape eviction this week. Dylan actually received no nominations at all.

Henry says he had his views on immigration before he met Trish. Think we all know which views those were. Honestly, I'll be horrified if he stays in against Zak.

Trish feels guilty for nominating Kerry. She worries that Kerry can tell.

Yinrun is fed up of housemates walking away mid-conversation with her. This happens every day. She feels isolated, struggling to join in with certain conversations. Very hard seeing her so upset. She's worried she isn't as interesting as she thought.

People love you so much outside the house, Yinrun. :(((

Oh no. The only people she has are Trish, Jordan ... and Henry. She loses one of her very few friends if Henry goes.

As Yinrun cries with Trish, Matty joins to offer support. I'd really love Yinrun and Matty to become friends.

---

When I first met Elanor [my wife], we'd play this game where we'd spell letters on each other's hands to communicate in secret. A fun bit of early relationship bonding.

Hallie and Olivia played this game yesterday, but oops! Not allowed to use secret codes in Big Brother.

Hallie admits to the secret messages - that she claimed that Zak was a gameplayer, and that she reckoned Matty nominated her. (My reading is that Hallie thinks Matty nominated her, which he didn't. But maybe she meant Matty nominated Olivia, which he did.)

Hallie and Olivia are given prison outfits, and must be put in a prison in the garden.

Hallie: I've always wanted to be in orange.

Iconic.

Zak thinks Hallie's a nice girl, and that she only called him a gameplayer for attention.

I ... don't think this. Hallie's wonderful, but she's definitely a gossip, and has a cynical reading of others.

Still, I'm glad this didn't turn Zak into a Hallie hater.

Hallie asks Olivia to improvise a song about prison. I love this! Olivia's songs are so terrible, yet Hallie loves them.

Ahh, this might hurt Olivia. As a result of the announcement, Matty speaks openly about his issues with Olivia. Matty was the only housemate who nominated Olivia this week, but there's a chance his opinion will become contagious now.

In jail, Hallie feels like she's let her family down.

Hallie: Sorry mum! Sorry grandma! I'm not a vindictive bitch.

Olivia: I'm sorry mum.

Olivia: ...

Olivia: What does "vindictive" mean?

Hallie: I don't know.

Previously, Olivia told Zak that Matty slyly eats more than his fair share.

Zak's now annoyed with Olivia, and tells Matty about this conversation.

In the diary room, Matty announces that any friendship he had with Hallie is now dead.

Zak's really devastated by Hallie's low opinion of him.

A bit of paranoid misunderstanding: with the secret codes, Olivia and Hallie wrote the word no - N, O - and some housemates think they were spelling out Noky's name. They were not, they were the start of the word NOMINATED.

This is such a turning point for Olivia and Hallie. They received three nominations between them yesterday, but today everyone's furious with both of them.

It's interesting. The code game was just a game. They weren't being Nasty Nick from BB1. Plenty of people in the house have gossiped in private. Hallie and Olivia broke the letter of the law with their messages, but didn't realise it, and didn't intend to.

So now their private conversation has been made public, because they didn't think the secret messages would count as a rulebreak.

Oh, blimey. Sounds like Matty has a difficult history with food. He confronts Kerry, who deals with the situation ... kind-of badly. I think she felt she was being attacked, which wasn't Matty's intention. He wanted to open up about a difficult thing in his own life - and felt dismissed, since Kerry moved on quickly to defend herself.

Hallie apologises to Zak. Turns out Zak's especially hurt because he's been so positive about her. He accepts her apology nicely. And finally, he gets to respond to the accusation that's spread like wildfire through the house.

It's not that Zak tries to be everyone's friend to avoid nomination. It's that if he sees someone sitting alone, he can't help but come over to keep them company. He knows what it's like to be alone, and he can't bear to see anyone else in that position.

I believe this completely.

Hallie assures Noky that her name wasn't mentioned at all, that this was a misunderstanding. Noky chooses to accept this apology, but worries that she'll look like an idiot if she's wrong. Noky worries often about how she'll be perceived.

Hallie is really gutted about this misunderstanding. She really hasn't said a bad word about Noky.

Tom has identified a mouse living under the hot tub. He's named it Roger.

Oh no, Kerry confronts Zak about the Matty situation! Kerry's really tied herself in knots over this. Matty wasn't annoyed with her! At least, not until she dismissed his attempt at opening up.

Kerry's annoyed because she had a private, bitchy conversation about Matty with Zak, and is horrified that Zak told Matty about the conversation. Zak says that in that case, he simply won't have private conversations with Kerry anymore.

Zak talks to Matty. Matty's perception? There's a clique in the house, and they're the mean girls. Kerry, Olivia, Hallie.

[bleak-eastern-plains]

1995

My story starts in 1995 in post-communist Romania, six years after the collapse of the Berlin Wall, four years after the collapse of the Soviet Union.

1st of January. Prices skyrocket 20 fold compared to 1994. People can barely afford basic necessities; defaults on credit become common place. The shock is too heavy. People die.

Factories close down, machines break down, the symbols of glory past are sold for scraps.

In 2023, 1 US dollar = 4.45 RON. In 1995; 1 US dollar = 2500 RON; (sevenfold rise since 1992)

One of the last symbols of communist resistance, Corneliu Coposu passes away. 100.000 people attend his funeral.

On June 22nd, Romania officially applied for EU candidacy. It would take another 12 years until Romania would be accepted in the European community. Even then, countries like the UK impose discriminatory treatments on the movement of people. Food for thought regarding Ukraine's ascension to the EU, a country destroyed by war and plagued by political corruption. The European Community was harshly skeptical of the non-soviet countries to begin with, even during times of peace and complete agreement.

Close to year end, I am born.

In the United States Ebay becomes public. The first DVD is released. In Romania, my parents count coins, trying to figure out whether to pay the loan for the TV or not. Prices for baby formula almost drive them to bankruptcy.

My mother takes one year off university to take care of newborn me. We are a one income household. My father is a junior working in the police force, a job he never wanted, but all the factories were being sold for scraps back then. Jobs are scarce. My father is a pragmatic man with a newborn baby.

My mother told me that at first we stayed at her parent's place. She couldn't get along with my grandmother about how to raise me. We moved to my aunt's apartment. I don't remember it well. I have memories of a nice Saint Nicholas' where I received a huge bag of toys from my aunt. It was full of Kinder Surprise chocolate eggs toys. For me it was heaven. I don't remember when this happened, but it would be impossible to have happened the year I was born.

Eventually we move to our own place. We live in an inter-war era bourgeois little house. We have a beautiful garden that my mom tends to. For her it's therapy. For me, it's a fairy tale. The house was split between family members. The room that connects the rest of the house to the bathroom is owned by a spiteful elderly woman. We live in the house for 10 years. She never agrees to lease the room to us. No reason is given. It doesn't matter. Everyone is feral. Freezing winter or scorching summer, we have to walk around the house to reach the bathroom. For me it's normality.

I was lucky somehow. I was the first born granddaughter in a huge family. Everyone had love to give me. Nobody had much, but they gave me everything they had. I was the symbol of the new generation. I didn't have to compete for resources, there were no other cousins. For 10 years, I was the only child. In 2005, my first cousin was born, then another, then another, then another. In total, we are five cousins. I don't have siblings. My parents couldn't afford a second child.

The collapse of the Soviet Union is a shock for the whole communist block. The inflation destroys the lives of those already impovrished. Ceaușescu's decades long crusade to pay all the external debt, although successful, meant the rise of poverty. You couldn't get your hands on enough of anything: food, clothing, light, heat; everything was rationed. Society became ferral; stealing was justified since there was no other way to support yourself and your family. This habit stayed with the people even after 1989. By 1995 people are desensitised to pain, poverty or destruction. Kindness or charity are dead. Baby me is clueless.

These times stay with me to this day. I don't understand my cousins who grew up after Romania became a part of the EU. They say it's not that bad. We live in two different countries. I became a chest preserving the trauma. I am writing to let the people know what happened, why I am the way I am, to explain to the younger generation why we left and discarded the Romanian identity. Maybe this will make space for new emotions in my heart. Maybe this will heal it, and I will forget it. Maybe one day I will not feel guilty for splurging on something I don't need for survival.

[demonboyhalo]

The lines from this speech hit so hard - "IM A PERSON" will always make me side with Techno

LOYALTY

[the-hate-keeps-me-warm]

kisses and cuddles

wooooooooo time for some more fluffy shit yall i loved making this so much this sorta relted to my weed garden fic but you dont need to read it (be cool tho)

Ruby was sitting in the cafeteria with Oscar and penny she was too tired to pay attention to what the two were talking about penny sitting across from her and Oscar was excitedly talking about something while Oscar liens looking interested she’s unsure how he’s so put together they were both up late hanging out dreading comics and it’s only 7 am she leaned on Oscar and closed her eyes hoping to get a little more sleep before She had to do missions she had a relatively short one today only a search and destroy so maybe she could get home fast and take a nap Oscar nudged her shoulder and she lifted her head “hey don’t fall asleep if you don’t eat you’ll be grumpy” he says she fakes a pout and starts eating the gross cafeteria food she assumed that atlas food would be good sense it’s so many rich folks but no she’s actually had  better tasting mres or maybe she was just getting spoiled eating Oscar and rens cooking “ruby why are you so tired did you have trouble sleeping” penny says drawing circles on the table with her finger “no me and Oscar were up late last night and I only slept like three hours“ penny frowns “while I am happy you and Oscar are spending time together you require at least 6 hours of sleep for maximum field efficiency” ruby just nods “so why don’t you seem tired Oscar you couldn’t of slept anymore than I did” she says with a yawn he shrugs and says  “I guess I’m used to it I had to wake up early back home so I always didn’t get a bunch of sleep” penny raises a finger “actually according to my scans  Oscars brain is only running at 89% efficiency and his hear rate is faster from his normal 48 beats per minute to to 51 it is likely that he simply better at hiding his tiredness” Oscar slumps “penny do have everyone’s heart rates memorized” he says exasperated “yes I also have all of your medical charts on file and criminal records why” he raises a brow “criminal record?” Penny nods “yes several of your team have criminal records qrow having the longest with 22 counts of public intoxication as well as 3 of public indecency and” ruby raises her hands “trust me you don’t wanna know the rest they had to make a new law for one of the things he did but who else has charges?” she tries to wake herself with conversation and it sorta works she also learns some new and unsettling things about her friends but eventually breakfast ends and she starts to get her gear ready she’s loading rounds into one of crescent roses magazine when someone knocks on the door to her locker room “it’s open” she calls out and incomes  Oscar he’s holding a small Tupperware box and a small metal tumbler “hey I wanted to give this to you before you go” he says with a sheepish grin he sets the box next to her and hands her the tumbler it’s warm and smells good “it’s coffee, don’t worry I added way too much sugar for you and the other thing is a surprise you said you don’t eat a lot on missions so I made it for you it’s a bit of an experiment so tell me if it’s bad” she’s grinning ear to ear and stands up from her weapon bench and hugs him “you are the best and I’m sure it’ll be great” she gives him a kiss on the cheek she’s been slowly trying to work her way up to kissing him on the lips but nose and cheek kisses were enough for her he smiles and his cheeks get all rosey  and he hugs her back and says “be careful ok sorry I know you can take care of yourself but just you know“ she squeezes him a little “yeah don’t worry I know  I’ll be careful and when I get back we are so taking a nap mister I’m not that tired” he giggles and looks up at her with a smile  “you won’t hear me complain and uh before you go could I uh kiss you like um on the lips” he says nervously she leans down pressing her forehead to his and smiles she smells his breath it smells like chocolate and coffee she feels her cheeks heat up to match his and says “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now are you sure you want to ” he nods his head wordlessly she takes his hand and gently presses her lips to his its short and maybe a little clumsy but it makes her heart soar when she breaks the kiss Oscars breath shakes slightly  and a little panic starts to fill her did she mess it up did he hate it and then he smiles and it all fades away “that was really nice” he says rubbing her knuckle with his thumb then there’s a knock on the door frame she looks up and weiss and Blake are standing there weiss looks annoyed and Blake is grinning “time to go ruby morning Oscar” wiess says already turning to walk away ruby quickly gathers crescent rose and Oscars gifts and says “bye Oscar I’ll be careful byeee” and dashed out the door behind the others Blake nudges her shoulder “your lucky I made weiss wait  ,god you two are adorable” ruby squeaks “will you stop spying on us”  “we weren’t spying you two dolts left the door open” weiss says annoyed 

 The mission was boring as she thought it was gonna be how normal soldiers couldn’t handle this she’ll never know on the airship ride home she opens   the box Oscar gave to her a note on top says “have a great day and stay safe” she smiles at the note and sticks it in her ammo pocket  it looks like a brownie is some kind and yang leans over and says “where did you get that”

“Oscar made it for me” she says taking it out of the container it smells like a peanut butter protein bar “ooo come on share with me pleassss” yang says putting her hands together “ugh your lucky I’m a good sister” she breaks off a small piece and hands it to yang and takes a bite of her own and it’s amazing it Taste like a peanut butter brownie but somehow better it’s somehow not dried out or crumbly yang seems to have a similar opinion “god if you don’t marry Oscar i will his food is too good”yang says with a laugh  she kicks yang in the leg “I know right I can barely eat the cafeteria food anymore” her and yang chat a bit about food until they finally land Oscar is standing on the landing pad waiting for her she bounce on her heels excitedly despite how tired she is when the door finally opens she rushes out to hug him “how did it go” he asks wrapping his arms around her shoulders “oh it was easy but soooo boring I don’t know why they asked us to do it” she says leaning into him he chuckles “well I’m glad it wasn’t dangerous at least did you like it” he asks sheepishly she puts her head on his “yeees brothers it was great what was it” he unwraps his arms and looks at her “there’s no name for it yet but it’s kinda like a protein brownie was it too grainy or anything what about the after taste” he asks “I didn't even realize it was supposed to be healthy” she puts her hands on his shoulders “Oscar I’m gonna need more of that” he smiles “happy to make some more tonight” he says proudly yang walks past and ruffles his hair “make sure to make enough for me too kiddo” and walks off “how about that nap ruby my teams still on mission so we should have some time” he says taking her hand “yes please” 

They walk back to team alpns dorm room after ruby changes into something more casual Oscar was already wearing his normal clothing he sits on his bed and smiles “I’m gonna get to have two naps today” she sits down next to him and throws her arm around him "you and your team  sure like your naps huh" he smiles as they lie back on his bed "honestly who doesn't like naps I never use to be a huge cuddler but it’s nice to have someone close to you, you know” they lie back Oscar resting his head on rubies shoulder “well I do  wish my team took naps together sometimes yang is a big cuddler too but Weiss  doesn’t like being warm and Blake can’t sit still even so less than you” he snorts as he takes her hand running his thumbs along her knuckles  “well I’m sure the others wouldn’t mind you joining our naps if have to ask but i'll warn you ren sits up in his sleep  Jaune snores and i talk in my sleep” she raises an eyebrow “you didn't last time” she says “that's cause we were smoking  but if i take a nap or if im really tired you can actually talk and I'll talk back” she grins “well what do you talk about”  he rests his head on her chest “usually about my aunt or all yall but Nora has told me i say lots of stuff about you if i'm asked” he says his cheeks getting just a tiny bit rosy she grins and plants a kiss on his nose “well i hope i get the chance to ask but i'll probably fall asleep first im super tired” she rolls over and wraps herself around him oscar adjusting to lay on her arm pulling a blanket over them "well if you can get me to talk I'll answer any question just nothing to embarrassing please" he says  “i would like to know what you have to say tho so maybe i'll try to hold out just a bit longer” she says closing her eyes as oscar lets out his relaxed sigh about half of Oscars communication was nonverbal she liked to mentally catalog the things he does when he relaxes he lets out a long almost high pitched sigh it makes her happy to hear that and it helps her relax her thoughts starts to get fuzzy as sleep takes her she wakes up a few hours later laying on her back oscar laying on top of her them both having wrapped around each other she hears quiet murmurs  coming from him to quiet to understand "Oscar are you still asleep" she whispers no response "Oscar are you comfy" he nods his head "of course I'm comfy I'm cuddling with ruby" she snickers he was definitely still asleep "who's the coolest person you know" she she's "ruby for sure she's so good at fighting and everyone trusts her I wish I was more like her" she runs her hand through his hair "how do you feel about ruby " she asked "I'm in love with her she makes me feel strong and weak at the same time when she's with me I feel like I'm safe and that we could do anything together i want to be with her forever" she's crying now "oh shit I didn't expect him to be that honest" she thinks as tears run down her face "I love you too Oscar"     she kisses the top of his head “you know i never used to want like romantic stuff and all the fluffy garbage i just wanted to be a huntress and fight grim stuff like that but you  make me want that stuff i wanna take you on dates and like hold your hand and stuff there are a bunch of things i wanna do like” she pauses resting her head on his “i forgot you were asleep for a second i'm starting to embarrass myself i do love you tho i dont know when your supposed to say that we've only been i guess dating for what 2 and a half weeks my dad always joked that huntsmen relationships move really fast nothing like holy shit we might die to move a relationship forward right but you make me feel like i don't know amazing and I love being with you you make all my worries disappear even if it's only for a little bit and i'm rambling and your not talking back” oscar lifts his head “its cause im awake and i love it when you ramble” she feels her face light on fire “w-what when did you wake up” he hums happily “around we might die  i think it was nice that stuff you said you can ramble longer if you want what that new gun you saw in that magazine” she smiles “it's a roller delayed blowback sniper rifle its a smaller caliber than crescent rose but it has a longer effective range because of the way the bore is shaped i prefer bolt actions to semi automatics for a long range rifle semi autos have there merits and stuff it's a lot lighter than crescent rose as well on account of it not also being a giant scythe you know i was thinking about carrying a pistol too crescent rose is great but shes heavy and she's also really hard to conceal  even when shes folded speaking of i need to clean her gears a bunch of dust got in them today you said you wanted to learn weapon maintenance i could teach you today if you want” “sure i can learn there's a lot of things oz knows but it's like a big library without a librarian its all jumbled up” she scratches the back of his neck “well i do not understand the dewey decimal system but i'm happy to help” they both giggle at her joke ruby keeps rambling until the rest of team alpn return 

Oscar is walking ruby back to her dorm they come to her door and they turn to face each other and oscar rubs his hands together “so ruby uh I got permission with ironwood to leave school grounds as long as someone's with me so I was wondering if you’d like to maybe go out like on a date” she smiles and puts her arms around his shoulders “sounds amazing sweetie I’m free this weekend where do you want to go” he blushes and says “well I actually have something in mind but I wanna keep it a surprise if that’s ok” she kisses him on the cheek “of course casual clothes or should i dress nice” he shakes his head “i mean it's really up to you but were not going somewhere fancy just a place I think you'll like" she smiles and kisses his nose and he leans up a little so there lips are level "can i kiss you again" he asks just above a whisper her pressing her lips gently against his is her answer they  hold the kiss for a few moments Oscars hands drifting to ruby's waist when they separate  she says "i think we're getting pretty good at that" Oscar smiles avoiding her eyes "yeah um It's certainly enjoyable" they break the hug "I'll see you in the morning I'll make that stuff you like ok" he says "yes awesome you're the best Oscar good night" she says as she slips into her from her teammates giving her knowing smirks 

[smndragon]

Hello!! 🖤 I love your dark aesthetic!! Could I get a full reading please? My initials are ACM and my big three is Scorpio sun in the 2nd, cancer moon in the 10th, and libra rising! Thank you and have a wonderful day!! 🖤

it's kinda funny cause I'm answering this so long after and it shows cause my theme is different😭 I'm sorry it took time to answer this! Let's go!

Hm, Scorpio sun, Cancer moon, Libra ascendant. I see trees covered in moss and flowers. Pink and rainbow buds all around the branches and leaves. Garden rabbits and plants growing from the ground. There's a girl in the distance, a hay colored dun hat. Blonde hair passing her shoulders, soft tanner summer heat skin. A pale blue dress, it looked as if it had played in the grass for years waiting to fit her form. As if this place had grown just for her, the girl staring off into the distance of the hills and sun. The sky was blue, sprinkling bits of sun pieces and bright stars of all light colors. The balls of heat never burned, until now. Seeing my own clothes partially torn and burned from the ash and flakes of the burning flame. It scattered in my hands and left marks of black and red. I would like to say I was worried if it's burn me. But I was only fascinated by this world. The girl turned to me behind her with a look of curiosity, wide blue and green eyes, which sometimes changed to a light honey. (WHY DID THAT CORRECT TO HORNY) Bangs of the soft curly hair covered her forehead. To be honest, she looked like she came out of a slice of life anime or manga of sorts. Those eyes sparkled like casting spells was her gift, spells on the mind and human race. The trees limbs went to constrict around my body like snakes. The wood felt poking but safe. As if it were a chair or place made for me. She walked closer to me, she went to shake my hand extending her own out. I looked at it wondering what to do with my arms held. The tree moved and she grabbed my hand with her own two. Her smile was like walking a warm and soft sanded beach. Eyes closed to calm her pale blonde eyelashes. A button and small bit nose. She was small but she wasn't fully considered skinny. Her feet soles were green and mossy. The tree let me down for her to walk me somewhere. The grass of the hills grew to our heights around us, making it harder to catch up and see her. I feel this may have been the Libra ascendant. The sun's falling bits have off the energy of the Scorpio sun. The Scorpio may be going into the Libra's home with it's fire. Before I knew it, caught up in my own thoughts she was gone. Lost in the tall grass. Possible placements may be the chest, stomach, or shoulders. Maybe even could affect the knees somehow. The aura of the Libra is yellow, blue, or green, bright and untamed. You may have freckles, like walking barefoot, have a taste for adventure, have the ability to lead people places that are unexpected or new. Your Libra gifted you the smarts of a predator and the eyes of a humble pisces or animal.

The Scorpio sun is burning. A pile of hot burning fire and sun. Laying on top of the pile or coming out of nowhere. The Scorpio moves to get Infront of me. Putting it's head in my hand. Tied back dark red or brown hair. Eyes are thinly almond shaped. I grab their chin. The feminity of the Scorpio shows here. Your Scorpio may want to be dominated by others it loves. The eyes of the Scorpio are a dark red, daring and wishing. A bit of scruff on the chin. Around 5'5-5'11. Masculine facial features. A mark or mole under the eye. Dark clothes. That of a knight or guardian. Red and black with golden pieces and placements. It sometimes look as if he's wearing the sun when they shine. A long and nicely shaped thin nose. Curved out at the eyes. They smell of heat and freshly cut grass. As if the world were on fire. I see shining flames whenever their eyes meet mine. I'm ngl I have half the mind to kiss your zodiac right now. This is a sign worth loving. It treats your body as a temple and your mind as a deity or god. Ready to strike and defend you at every turn if it can. You may have been told you don't know when to back downs at times. Could also have back problems, or a beauty mark on the face also. There's not much here for me really, the Scorpio is humbly protective, they like being treated like a pet at times but they'll never let their guard down just yet. Possible placements may be the spine, back, or hands. Aura is red and golden. You could also like writing poetry, or something to do with hands. Possibly a physical activity or smth. You could also be someone who likes to do things only when interested, if you're not people will say you're lazy when that's not the case at you just have no interest though you're hard working. Something unmentioned was the Scorpio form at the beginning, I feel your Scorpio is very powerful in ways in the body. It can transform from the very sun, to a Scorpion, then lastly to the man.

The Cancer home is dimmed and cold. Ice pains my feet. Frost and snow fall from the ceiling and walls. The Cancer freezes sometimes here, but says it's warm. Silently begging for others to ignore it's cold breaths. The bane of ris existence at times is itself. It feels caved in and scared of the world. Possibly from a previous host or truama. The world doesn't fully terrify it, it just feels it already knows what's to come from certain things. This may make you uncommunicative inside or often. Because of the Cancer's dominance in your head it can move it's truama to you and cause you to worry or not understand things people associate themselves with at times. Unintentionally closing you off from the world or growing. It wants to feel safe and sane. Retreating when your other signs wish to take action. the Scorpio burns to partially cover the Cancer. To give it warmth it hasn't gotten on the outside. But also to cover this feeling deep down. The zodiacs worry for your poor Cancer. The crab that's iced it's blue shell to almost cracking. Your Scorpio may love this zodiac greatly in some way. Either romantically or as if very close friends. He visits the door of the crab now, knocking and waiting. Upon no reply he opens the door to see us both sitting down. Confused as to why I'm here but dragging something in behind him anyways. A possibile meat or warming blanket? He grabs a sheet to cover the Crab's shell. Patting it a few times. Going back to the bag to get meat and dusty ash. He creates a fire with a dimple flicker of the black mush. Throwing the food above the fire to stand up with sticks and tools. Taking a seat near me and the Cancer. It's silent, but tis ckmfotin. Your Scorpio worries for the Cancer. They've known each other for a few rounds of lifetimes. The Scorpio may have even seen it all. The sound of the Cancer's panic. Something happened in a previous host, the Cancer felt they couldn't save that person, that they could do nothing against the danger, costing their host much to even possibly their life. The Scorpio was not the sign in control then. A great respect for the Cancer before still present now. Possible placements are the shoulders also, the head, the lower back, or the soles of the feet. Could cause shoulder pains, neck pains, smaller or medium feet.

Your signs aren't perfect, but they do their best to help each other and you. The Scorpio sometimes feels a heavy weight watching over things by themselves at times. The Libra doesn't make it inside until now. Stopping by the door for a second before sitting with us. This is nice, and all in a few moments, it feels like home inside you.

The truama could have something to do with you or the signs it's hard to tell. May deal with panic attacks or anxiety.

Characteristics: because of the Libra maybe even a dirty blonde or blonde of some sort, maybe dark or brown hair, may go past the neck or a bit above or near the shoulders, wide dark eyes or blue and green mix. Smaller or medium to big hands. Just something on hands I feel is important. Could be white, mixed, or foreign to America (not mensing your life here just from my country possibly). May paint your nails or leave them blank, sketches a lot or some bit. Style could be dark or plain in tones of where you live. Could fit the occasion. Smaller feet. May be fairly small when it comes to weight. Height could be 5'1-5'6. Beauty mark on the face somewhere or freckles. Maybe on the back of the neck even. May glance off at times. A make also maybe in the inner thigh. Scorpios deal with eyesight either making it really gold or poor. So possible glasses.

Future relationship/soulmates: will nudge you possibly when they want to relax. Could meet somewhere in the convenience store a normal somewhat important or crowded solace to you. (stores are too common of s theme here lol) may want to give you piggy backs or get them. Dark fluffy hair or pale. Will look domineering but isn't really lol. Could always be snuggling up even in public which can bother you. Want the groceries? You'll get them they'll go out as long as they get to call you the whole way. To that you tell them to be careful when driving. Horny. Very soft and loving. Will give you time if needed when first meeting to talk to them or after asking you out at some point.

Other zodiac possible zodiac influence through other people: Scorpio ascendant, moon, or sun, cancer moon, Gemini moon, dominant, Aries sun, moon, pisces sun, ascendant, moon. Some Capricorn energy somewhere. Also maybe Sagittarius energy in you or another person. Maybe a mars Sagittarius around you?

Future/health: watch for possible things to do with electronics or not paying attention, walking in streets, we kinda discussed possible health stuff lol, back pain, shoulder aching, neck pains, panic attacks or anxiety, possible dark thoughts from the Cancer and even Scorpio.

Houses: having Scorpio sun in the 2nd house could mean an attachment to material thing from childhood. Financial gifts involving communication and interaction. Gains through others somehow. Having Cancer moon in 10th could mean you may make it doing something involving physical use or mental stability. Could be a social worker, nurse, something involving humanitarian stuff or possibly business if you focused on it. Could be a lawyer even, with Cancer there's a lot of possibilities from their talents. There's something great in you, you just have to drive for what you want. Possibly may want to owns little shop somewhere even. You'll gain possible reliable jobs through friends or connections even due to the 2nd house.

[crash-cinematic-universe]

a sickly satisfaction (ch.1)

pairing: jason dean/reader

summary: high school sucks. jason dean makes it a little better.

warnings: uuhhhh murder, language, suicide discussion

notes: i have every chapter of this written out already, so every wednesday I’ll release a new one <3 in total the story is 7,800 words! but there are some parts that are kind of short, forgive me for those.

            Eyes down. Walk fast. Stay out of their way. Three simple steps to get through the day. They had an iron grip on the school, their perfectly manicured nails digging into the oily skin of the entire student body. High School was a bloody battlefield in the war that is life. However, the epitome of cruelty, the ultimate teenage angst inducing, self-esteem crushing, happiness shattering war machine came in the form of three girls and their weak-willed sidekick. That’s right; my biggest threat in high school is Heather Chandler, Heather McNamara, Heather Duke, and Veronica Sawyer. Veronica at least has some semblance of regret and empathy-- she’s just doing what she needs to survive. Unfortunately, that means the rest of us have to struggle to keep our heads above water. 

            Thankfully, I have a sanctuary. A refrigerator heaven filled with endless isles of roadtrip snacks and hangover remedies. Of course, this junk food Garden of Eden also happens to contain my best friend, Tommy Geller. Tommy is 18, emo, and gay, so naturally we got along pretty well. He sits behind the register and lets me hang around until closing. It’s actually pretty nice-- sometimes he lets me do busywork around the store. Sure, it’s sort of pathetic that Snappy Snack Shack is my main source of serotonin, but you know what? There are worse places to be. 

            “Pop open a bottle of champagne, Tommy, because today is a special day!” I cry, pushing open the small class doors. To my delight, the store is empty. There are no irritating customers there to make me keep my voice down.

            “Oh? And why is that?” Tommy inquires, his jet black hair falling in front of his eyes. He’s tired-- and bored-- and I’m the perfect remedy for that. 

            “Today marks exactly six months since I first stepped foot in this town,” I grin. Tommy’s eyebrows perk up.

            “Really? Congrats, kid,” He’s humoring me a bit, but there is a genuine reaction beneath his sarcastic remarks. 

            “Thanks, Tommy. Y’know, that’s twice as long as my time in New Jersey and three times as long as my run in Nebraska. I have a feeling dear old aunt Maria might actually stay here for good,” I hop over the counter before grabbing a can of Coke out of the fridge. I prop me feet up on the counter, but Tommy knocks them down.

            “You know the rules, kid, no stompy boots on the counter.” I roll my eyes. He wipes off the place where my shoes were before organizing the lotto tickets. “Anything interesting happen at school today?”

            “Eh, same old same old. The Heathers were bitches, Veronica was desperately trying to keep up, and I got tripped in the hallway,” Tommy frowns.

            “God, those girls really need to get humbled,” He spits. 

            “You don’t need to tell me. They constantly act so… self-superior, as if their power doesn’t depend solely on whether or not everyone else hates themselves to believe they’re inferior to three teenage girls who are the definition of ‘peaked in high school’,” I squeeze the soda can in my hand, the metal crunching under the pressure. “They need to be more than humbled. The Heathers deserve to be dealt as much pain as they served,”

            “Watch it, kid, you’re sounding a bit homicidal,” Tommy jokes. If only he knew. 

            “It wouldn’t matter anyway. I don’t think they can die-- they’re like a Hydra. If you kill one of the Heathers, three more will grow in her place,” I sigh. Tommy looks concerned.

            “Y/n, you don’t actually want to kill them, right?” I hesitate. The silence makes Tommy worry.

            “I wouldn’t exactly lose sleep if one of them did die,” I reply nonchalantly. “It would be like a public service. Similar to killing the black mold that grows in the girl’s showers,” Tommy looks at me for a second, his expression unreadable, before turning back to his counter. 

            “That’s morbid,” he says. “You know that? You sound like a killer in the making.”

            “Sometimes bad people deserve bad things.”

            “You’re absolutely not helping your case,” Tommy laughs. I can feel someone watching me. It’s an odd feeling, but I brush it off.

            “New topic?” I ask. Tommy nods.

            A mischievous grin grows on his face. “You got a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Partner? All of the above?” he asks hopefully.

            “No, Tommy, and don’t get your hopes up,” I chuckle, before standing up and admiring the neon sign outside.

            “Oh come on, there has to be someone. You can’t possibly go to that hellhole every day and not see at least one hot person!” Tommy groans.

            “Everyone at Westerburg is either evil or boring. No one interests me and I’m not interesting to anyone. Plus, my attention is mainly focused on getting through the day in one piece, not getting laid.” I neglect to mention the stranger I saw in the Cafe yesterday. He was pretty hot, and didn’t seem to be a douchebag-- in fact, he shot two of the douchiest douchebags with blank bullets. A real rarity at Westerburg.

            “God, you need to get out more. I see some pretty people pass through here occasionally, I’m going to start pawning you off,” he jokes.

            “Oh, god, no,” I joined in on his laughter.

            “Yup, I’m going to give every hot person your photo and your address until you finally score yourself some arm candy,” Tommy can barely form sentences through his laughter.

            “I’m gonna to get murdered if you do that, Tom,” I giggle. 

“             And that would be damn shame,” A voice calls from across the counter. I look up to see the most attractive man I’ve ever seen in my entire life. It’s the same guy from the Cafe-- although in the bright convenience store lighting he looks more like a ghost than a man. His jawline looked sharp enough to slice me in half, his cheekbones high and defined. His hair was gorgeous and his teeth were really, really nice. 

            “Uh, yeah, that would totally s-suck,” I choked. Tommy shot me the most horrified look I’ve ever seen. “I’ve, uh, seen you around. That stunt you pulled in the Cafe was wicked, man, seriously.”

            “Hey, it was a public service,” He smirked. Tommy gave me a ‘holy-shit-I’ll-leave-you-two-alone’ look before disappearing in the isles across the room. I could see him peeking through the cereal boxes. “I’m Jason Dean, but most people call me JD.” He offers his hand for me to shake.

             “Y/n, Y/n Ln,” I grip his hand firmly and try not to have a breakdown over the contact. “Y’know, there are much less extreme ways to get people to fuck off than, well, shooting them.”

              “The extreme always seems to make an impression, though, doesn’t it?” His voice was a little bit lower and he leaned in a little bit closer. Tommy was freaking out across the aisle, his eyes wide as his hand raked through his greasy hair. 

            “That it does,” I grin. “There are quite a few people in that school that deserve certain... extremities,” 

            “I think you’re right,” Jason smirked once again. I kept my composure as best I could. “Speaking of extremities, I saw you and Kurt in the hallway last week,” My face is lit ablaze as I recall the incident. Kurt had been continuously pestering me the entire day, and eventually I reached my limit.

            “I guess they aren’t joking when they say the chin is the knockout button,” Jason seems impressed, although I can’t really tell because looking him in the eyes seems like a death sentence. “Landed me three days detention, though. That sucked. Although I guess it can’t compare to whatever they’re dealing you,” At this point, one of the regulars began approaching the front doors. Tommy sprinted out before they got in, seemingly explaining that my entire love life depends on whether or not I can play it cool.

            “Eh, what can I say. I sort of dug myself a grave there,” I spoke without thinking.

            “The only graves that should’ve been dug are Kurt and Ram’s. My one critique? Use real bullets next time,” I froze. Why the fuck would I say that? I mean, I’m not wrong but I doubt JD would stick around after--

            “I like the way you think,” JD laughs, his ears tinted pink. Jason looks at me, and for a moment, I look right back. There’s something behind his eyes, something festering and enticing. I wonder if my eyes communicate anything. “I’ll see you around, Y/n L/n,” 

            “And I’ll see you, Jason Dean,” With that he winked at me, spun on his heel, and walked out the front door. Tommy practically sprinted across the room as I released every muscle I’d been tensing. I slowly melted onto the floor. Laying on the tile with my eyes trained on the bright lights overhead.

            “Oh my god,” Tommy breathed. “Oh my fucking god that was-- oh my god.”

            “I know,”

             “Did you see him? He’s like a greek god,”

            “I know,”

            “And he was totally into you, like, totally,”

            “I should’ve given him my address. I wouldn’t mind getting murdered by him.” I say breathlessly. Tommy sits on the counter and looks down at me.

            “I think I need to teach you how to talk to boys,” Tommy sighs, shock still lingering on his face.

            “Pssh, I can talk to boys just fine,” I retort.

            “You almost collapsed when you saw him,” he says flatly.

            “That was--”

            “I thought you were going to pass out when he told you his name,”

            “But I--”

            “I genuinely believed you were going to vomit when he shook your hand,”

            “Alright! I give! I can’t talk to boys! You caught me! Lock me up and never let me embarrass myself like that again!” I surrendered, throwing my arms in the air before letting them collapse over my face. “He probably thinks I’m a freak,”

            “Are you joking? He was more smitten than you were!” This caught my attention, and I tore my arms away from my eyes. 

            “Huh? Elaborate!” I snapped.

            “You seriously didn’t notice? He’d been staring at you since you stepped foot in here, didn’t you see him? At first I thought it was weird, but then I realized he was smoking hot so I decided I’d let it slide,” “Comforting,” Sarcasm drips from my words. “Y’know serial killers and stalkers can be hot, too.” I rolled my eyes.

“             I seem to recall you saying something along the lines of ‘I wouldn’t mind getting mur--’,”

            “Alright, Tommy, we get it.” I cut him off in embarrassment. “Please continue.”

            “He comes in here a lot, so I knew he was alright. He was beet red the entire time you were talking. Didn’t you see the way he was in a perpetual state of stupid smiling? Dude, he was definitely into you and really bad at hiding it,” Tommy concluded.

            I smiled a big, dumb smile. I didn’t notice the fact that he was nervous, so he probably didn’t notice that I was dying, right? 

            “Tommy, I think we might have a keeper.”

            “Thank god, I don’t think I could stand to see you go to Prom alone. That would be too depressing, even for me,” Tommy enthused. I propped my feet against the edge of the counter, staring at the tips of my boots. For the first time in a long time, Tommy is silent. I can’t get his eyes out of my head. Then again, I don’t know if I want to. 

_________

[heauxplesslydevoted]

Resentment Ch. 1 (Ethan x MC)

Summary: After 2 months of not seeing each other, Ethan and Naomi do not have a pleasant reunion.

A/N: So...I’ve been writing this for the past 2 weeks. Open Heart 2 is ripe with angst and untapped drama. Tbh, this is my 5th draft, and I kept deleting and writing, and deleting and re-writing this, and I had to step away multiple times, as this was probably be one of my more draining fics to write. But anyway, if you’re still reading this long winded ass note, thank you lol. And enjoy, as always!

Tags: @ao719 @x-kyne-x @paulfwesley @ramseyandrys @choicesobsessedd @a-i-n-a-a-s-h @perriewinklenerdie @doroshi-desu @aworldoffandoms @thatcatlady0716 @drakewalker04 @canknot @lapisreviewsstuff @akacalliope @senseofduties @badchoicesposts @ethandaddyramsey @the-soot-sprite @chasingrobbie @zodiacsign1 @choices-lurker @miyakokurono @trappedinfandoms @dr-nancy-house @adrian-motherfucking-raines

~v~

Seeing Ethan Ramsey again nearly knocked the wind out of her. It feels like she saw a ghost. But here’s here, at Donahue’s, strolling through the garden as if this is any other night. As if he didn’t disappear off of the face of the earth for 2 months.

Naomi didn’t plan on having such a visceral reaction to seeing him, but she has little to no control over her body these days. Her heart speeds up, beating twice as fast, a cold sweat breaks out, starting at her forehead, and there’s the flip of her stomach and unmistakable taste of bile rising in her throat.

‘Do not throw up,’ she silently begs herself. ‘Do not throw up. Please, keep it together, Valentine.’

The chant doesn’t work, the nausea hitting her hard, like a wave crashing against the shore. She jumps out of her seat, ignoring the looks of confusion from her friends, and makes a beeline to the restroom, pushing past the other patrons at the bar. She barely makes it into a stall before she’s on her knees, emptying the contents of her stomach into a dirty public toilet.

Naomi isn’t sure how long she’s like this, embarrassingly clutching the toilet, but a knock at the stall door breaks her out of her trance. “It’s occupied!”

“It’s Sienna,” the voice on the other side says softly. “Can I come in?”

“Yes.”

The door swings open slowly and Sienna attempts to squeeze into the small space. It’s a tight squeeze, but she manages to make it work.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Naomi mumbles weakly. “You didn’t have to follow me.”

“Yes I did,” Sienna argues. She helps Naomi to her feet and pulls at the roll of cheap toilet paper. She bunches it up and wipes the corner of Naomi’s mouth. “You’re as pale as a ghost.”

“I feel like I’ve just seen one,” Naomi quips back. “Let’s just say I did not expect to see Dr. Ramsey here tonight.”

“You didn’t know he was coming back?” Sienna asks. “I thought you two were close.”

Naomi thought they were close too. But she got ghosted. It was jarring, going from sleeping with Ethan and openly flirting with him, to him being her boss again, to him disappearing and cutting off all communication within a span of 3 days. “I thought we were too.”

“How do you think it’ll be, working with him tomorrow?”

“I have no idea what to expect,” Naomi replies honestly. “Hopefully the rest of the team is nice.”

Sienna lifts Naomi up, helping her stand on her feet again. They exit the stall and Naomi washes her hands furiously like she’s about to perform surgery.

They walk out of the bathroom, Sienna with a protective arm around her friend’s waist. The rest of their friends are now inside, at their usual booth.

They all stare at Naomi, and she hates it. Now they’re probably going to think of her as the weirdo who threw up upon seeing her boss (an ex-lover, though not everyone is privy to that information).

“You just missed the wildest shit,” Bryce says, almost breathless. “Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Thorne nearly got into a fight!”

That was the last thing Naomi expected to hear. “What?”

“Thorne was being a real creep, and he tried to feel up some young girl. He touched her and she broke his hand!” Elijah exclaims. “He got loud and rowdy, he pushed her down, and Ethan came out of nowhere, swooping in like freaking Batman. I thought he was going to snap Thorne’s neck at one point.”

“Where is the girl?” Naomi asks. 

“She ran out of here as soon as she could.”

“I hope she’s okay,” Naomi murmurs, mostly to herself.

“Are you okay?” Bryce asks. “I’ve never seen you get sick before.”

“Whatever virus is fermenting in your body, please keep it away from me,” Jackie says, not even giving Naomi the chance to respond.

“Jackie!” Sienna tsks in annoyance. “Have some compassion.”

“She’s either drunk or it’s the stomach flu,” Jackie says with a shrug. “She’ll survive a little teasing.”

“It’s okay, Sienna,” Naomi insists. She loves her friend’s protective nature, but it really isn’t necessary. “You don’t have to go into mother hen mode.”

“Fine. But I’m making you soup after work tomorrow.”

“Deal.”

Reggie announces last call, and the gang starts talking about their post-bar plans. Be it getting food, going downtown, or just going home. Naomi drowns out the conversation as her eyes settle onto Ethan. His back is turned to her and Naomi notices that he’s the only one left at the bar while Reggie is cleaning up.

“Does last call not apply to you?” Naomi asks, getting his attention.

“Reggie and I go way back. We have an arrangement,” Ethan says simply.

“An arrangement.” Naomi rolls her eyes as she repeats the words. “Is that what you call a friendship?”

“I don’t have friends. But...I wouldn’t mind you joining me if you were so inclined.”

Naomi weighs her options. She can go home and put this night behind her, or she can stay out with Ethan. And actually talk to him.

She turns back to her friends. “You guys go on ahead. I want to check in about tomorrow with Dr. Ramsey.”

She doesn’t believe that excuse for one second. And if her friends don’t believe it either, they don’t say anything. Sienna just tells her to not stay out too late, before they all leave, going their separate ways.

Once they’re gone, Naomi joins Ethan at the bar. She looks at, really looks at him. He’s still the same handsome guy, just more...rugged. He’s much more tan than she remembers, it looks like he’s gained weight—muscle, not fat—and he’s sporting an entirely new look.

“Looks like we’ve got ourselves a brand new Ethan Ramsey,” she muses.

Ethan looks down at his green jacket, a vast departure from the sweaters and button ups he usually wears.

“This jacket’s been through a lot with me,” he explains, toying with the sleeve.

“I like it.”

She doesn’t miss the way he perks up at the compliment, almost as if he was hoping she’d say something. A small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Duly noted. And the beard?”

Ethan doesn’t know why he needs her stamp of approval so badly, but the validation she gives him feels nice. He likes to know that she thinks he looks good.

“It looks good on you,” Naomi answers honestly. Ethan scratches the beard, his fingers flying towards it unconsciously at her words. He nods, soaking in her praise.

“I’ve gotten used to it.”

Naomi looks around as an almost awkward silence settles between the two of them. She’s now actively aware of the fact that it’s just the two of them, alone.

“Why don’t we move this outside?” Ethan suggests, some of the tension dissipating. “It’ll be winter before we know it. Might as well enjoy the weather while we can. You want something to drink?”

Naomi’s stomach flips at the mention of alcohol. “You know what I want? A cup of ice water.”

Ethan’s eyebrow quirks up at the answer. They’re in a bar and she wants...water? He shrugs but heads behind the bar, nonetheless. Grabbing a Pilsner glass, he fills it to the top with ice and he also finds a bottle of water. He hands them off to Naomi. “For you.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” They make their way outside. It’s so quiet now that everyone is gone. It feels peaceful. Ethan drops down in a chair near the fire pit and Naomi joins.

“I can see why you like it here.”

“Because nobody’s annoying me?” Ethan jokes.

“More or less,” Naomi concedes. “It’s peaceful.” Ethan nods in agreement. “So...how was it, being in the Amazon?”

“It was quite the experience. It kept me on my toes.”

“Fighting an epidemic in a different country sounds...thrilling. And scary. You’re brave for doing it.”

Ethan snorts. Naomi always manages to see the best in him, even when he doesn’t deserve it. “That wasn’t bravery.”

Naomi looks down at her lap. “You didn’t keep in touch. Two whole months without any form of communication seems extreme, don’t you think? Especially after everything that’s happened with us?”

“Everything that happened between us is exactly why I didn’t contact you.”

“192,” Naomi says. 

“Huh?”

“192. That’s how many times I’ve called you in the past 2 months. I also sent 75 texts and 30 emails. You could have responded to at least one of those.”

Hearing the numbers out loud makes Naomi feel ridiculous, like a stalker. And Ethan just feels...awful. He remembers his chest going tight every time he saw her name flash across his screen. He remembers the restraint it took him to not call her back, or reach out in any way. He needed to stay away. It was for the best, for both of them.

“Naomi, if we’re going to work together on the diagnostics team, we need a fresh start. Your professional development is too important to jeopardize it with whatever...what is was that we had.”

Ethan probably would’ve been better off taking this glass of ice water and throwing it in her face. The callousness in his voice chilled her to the core. “That’s how you’d describe it? As ‘whatever’?”

Ethan sighs heavily. Of course his relationship with the younger woman meant something to him, but if he was going to be her boss, they needed boundaries. There had to be a line.

“Pouring my heart out to you on multiple occasions and vice versa, secretly saving our boss’s life, you bringing Mrs. Martinez’s son to my ethics hearing, the sex, it all just culminates to a...whatever. What? Is what we went through just a casual experience in the life of Ethan Ramsey?”

“Of course not, but Naomi, I can’t go down this road with you again. We need to have a reset if things are going to work.”

She doesn’t know why the word ‘reset’ makes her laugh, but it does. She laughs, hard, almost maniacally, until her sides hurt and she can barely breathe. Ethan says nothing, staring at her in confusion.

“You know what, Ethan? Fuck you.”

That catches him off guard. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me loud and clear. Fuck. You. You’re a coward. And a runner. You run at the slightest hint of something being hard, or if you have to face your own emotions and vulnerabilities. You run off, drinking yourself silly and keeping your head in the sand, and then you come waltzing back as if nothing happened, but guess what? Life still happens. There is no reset, no do-overs, no pauses. Time still moves forward.”

Tears prick the corners of her eyes and she wills herself to not cry in front of him. He doesn’t deserve any more of her vulnerability. She doesn’t know why it hurts so much, but it does. The idea of him moving through life as if what they shared was minuscule and insignificant burns. It causes a sharp ache in her chest she didn’t realize she had the capacity to feel.

“While you were in South America, ignoring the almost 400 pieces of correspondence I sent, I was still here, still dealing with shit, still caring about you, worrying about you and your safety every fucking day. I don’t have the luxury of turning my feelings on and off whenever I see fit, and I don’t get to delude myself into thinking I can turn back time.”

How many times are they going to play this game before she realizes she’s always going to be the loser? She and Ethan get close, he rejects her but leaves just enough space and opportunity to keep her hanging on.

Naomi wraps her arms around her midsection and slightly curls into herself. Not even her own embrace is soothing at this point. The rejection stings, and she feels...stupid. Why does she keep holding out hope for Ethan, hoping he’ll want her the same way she wants him? Why does she keep coming back, waiting diligently like a little puppy, nipping at his ankles for the slightest bit of attention? Maybe she’s just a glutton for pain.

“If you want to hit the reset button, you can do it by yourself. I’m not playing that game with you.” Naomi abruptly stands up, clutching onto the back of her chair for stability. “Goodnight.”

Panic settles in his chest. He doesn’t want things with her to end like this, with her hating him. He wants her to stay. He wants to take back everything he just said. “Naomi, I–”

“Save it!” Whatever he’s about to say, whatever line it is that’ll feed her just enough false hope to keep hanging on, she doesn’t want to hear it.

After gathering her belongings, she turns on her heel, looking for the exit. Her entire body is rigid, defensive and ready to strike at any given moment, and she feels like she’s going to throw up again, which is something she truly does not have time for.

She’s fully prepared to walk away from him with whatever shred of dignity she still has, but she stops herself. She turns around, facing Ethan again.

“I called you a lot while you were gone. I left countless voicemails until your mailbox was completely full. Did you listen to any of them?”

“I haven’t listened.” Ethan feels ashamed by the answer, and he refuses to meet her big doe eyes, opting to look at the ground.

Naomi doesn’t dwell on the answer. She shakes off the hurt, and powers through.

“Last Wednesday, at 5:21 am, I called. You obviously didn’t answer, and I left a message. I’ll set the scene for you because I’ll never forget the moment. I was sitting in my bathtub, crying, almost hysterically. It was the type of crying that gets Meryl Streep and Viola Davis Oscar nominations, the kind that makes you feel sick to your stomach. But I live with 3 other people, so I had to sob into a face towel until the worst of it passed. And then I called you. Logically, I knew you probably weren’t going to answer, but I figured one last Hail Mary couldn’t hurt so I did it anyway. 

In the voicemail, I practically begged you to talk to me. To answer at least one of my calls. It was so...desperate. And pitiful. The old Naomi would rather get buried alive than to ever be so emotionally available and needy, but I didn’t care. In that moment, I needed you, I needed solace that I thought only you could give me, but I know now that it won’t happen. You’re way too emotionally stunted and unavailable.”

She inhales, something shaky and full of vulnerability, and every bone in her body is screaming out to just shut the fuck up and turn away.

“But you didn’t answer, you didn’t acknowledge it, and I was just absolutely gutted,” Naomi continues. “Because had you answered that call, or called me back some time that day, I would’ve told you that I’m pregnant.”

With that confession, Naomi visibly deflates. It feels like a crushing weight has been lifted off of her chest.

But Ethan feels the exact opposite. Unable to move, he gapes at Naomi. “You-you’re what?”

“Pregnant. 9 weeks, 5 days. It’s the size of an olive at this point, and before you ask, yes, it’s yours.”

Paternity hadn’t even crossed his mind at this point. He’s still stuck on the fact that she’s pregnant. 

“So while it hurts to know what you want a reset, and to pretend we didn’t share anything, it is also literally impossible to do so,” Naomi says with a humorless chuckle. “But don’t worry, I’ve received the message loud and clear. See you at work tomorrow, Doctor. Oh, and congratulations.”

Ethan watches as she leaves, even though he calls her name, asking her to stay. His chest feels tight like someone is squeezing him from the inside, and he struggles to inhale. The revelation stifles him, and he can’t get his bearings.

Unable to do much else, Ethan falls back into his chair. Despite trying his damnedest to get things back on track, it feels as if he’s made everything so much worse.

[seeds-and-sins]

The Seeds accepting you, a young kid, into their family would be like...

• To the surprise of others, cult members and sinners alike, your acceptance into the family happened the moment you met them.

• Your drunk father was being the abusive piece of shit he was at one of Joseph's Sermons and Jacob Seed intervened without hesitation.

• Within weeks John Seed found a way to legally remove you from your father's custody and assign the family as your permanent guardians.

• John pulled some strings even further and your father was sent to prison for child abuse. Needless to say, you won't see him for a while.

• The Seed siblings, at first, had a hard time figuring out who you would live with.

• So you had a room at each of their abodes, free to live with any one of them, whenever you so chose.

• John would spoil you with an endless array of gifts and excessive affectionate hugs and forehead kisses. He would take you flying in his plane whenever you stayed over at his ranch. He even let you fly it one time, but don't tell Joseph.

• Family dinners every friday night were your favorite.

• John would make the meal and it would suck, but nobody wanted to hurt his feelings, so he never would know.

• Jacob would secretly pass his food down to his wolf sitting under the table, motioning for you to be quiet about it with a wink.

• Family conversations sometimes turning into bickering...

• "Unicorns are real! Okay?! The Bible says so!"

• Joseph and you had a garden together that the both of you would work on when you were at his compound. He would read scripture to you, teach you lessons about the world, and talk to you about the collapse.

• Jacob was more about tough love. He had high expectations of you in terms of being efficient when it came to protecting yourself, surviving in the wilderness, and acknowledging your surroundings. (But every now and again, he would allow you to sleep in his arms if you had a nightmare about your abuse, or were afraid).

• Faith, you went to when you had emotional issues, or questions, or when you wanted female company. You both would have sleepovers and she would give you all the sweets you could imagine.

• Family photos where they all are extra and try to get single photos with you. (There might be a fight over who is the favorite parent, but Jacob doesn't call himself parent as much he does guardian).

• Joseph has one really cute photo of John, Jacob and you, that he hides in his journal. It was the day you got officially baptized and as Jacob was trying to help you out of the river, John and you yanked him in.

• You started playing basketball at your highschool, now that your father was gone you had more confidence to explore your interests. And the Seeds were more than enthusiastic about you being more active and social.

• At home games, they would be the ones cheering for you in the stands, the loudest spectators, even Jacob would participate in the madness (mainly to threaten the referee for calling fouls on you).

• Jacob and John worked with you often to make sure that you were the best player on the team. Jacob more so, would force you to train as much as possible.

• The coach let Jacob take over practice one time, since he usually watched on the sidelines. No one made it to the end of pratice, except for you.

• One of your fellow team mates going, "I hope your dad never runs practice ever again."

• Jacob yelling, "Cull the herd!", aggressively, anytime you got the ball.

• Joseph pulling you aside at half time and explaining, "My child, remember when I said violence wasn't the answer? Yes, well, this might be the one time where I am wrong."

• John bragging about you to the opposing team's parents, "Oh look! There they go again! Out running all of your children and scoring on them."

• Your sophmore year you almost failed math, you had good grades in your other classes, but the teacher wouldn't budge. It was your worst subject.

• At away games, it was almost like the whole cult was there to cheer you on. They would take two massive buses of members who would come see you play.

• Your math teacher never called for a parent-teacher conference ever again. Your grade became a C shortly after that meeting.

• John calling your math teacher and saying, "It would be a shame if (insert random blackmail information) became public."

• You being the best in PE class, with none of the kids being able to catch up, because Jacob Seed trained you every early morning. You were a force to be reckoned with.

• When you started dating, the whole family was very protective of you.

• Jacob and John were more direct when it came to threatening your boyfriend/girlfriend about being good to you.

• "If you try anything, I will carve the sin from your flesh myself. No one will be able to save you, and when I am done with you, well..." John's words fading into a deep chuckle, with that leering smile on his expression.

• Jacob crossed arms, stern posture, "Hmm, I hope you know where you belong, you pathetic weak little-" He stopped at Joseph's glare, "Especially where your hands belong, or else you'll lose'em."

• Your first ex ended up finding snakes in their pillow case before they went to bed one night. Jacob swore 'he had nothing to do with it' and John couldn't stop smiling.

• Faith and Joseph were sweet and kind, but their words had a warning lurking beneath them.

• "My child, you are so full of life. I would be very disappointed should something happen that would require that life to be slowly taken from you. I will pray for you." And Joseph traced a cross onto their forehead, which they couldn't have know that that meant they were marked.

• "It's so nice to know that they think you deserve them." Faith placing a hand on her chest, mockingly being kind to your date. "They are so giving and genuine aren't they? Let's hope they are right... for your sake."

• Your boyfriend/girlfriend had to ask permission before taking you to the local drive in.

• Jacob and John stopping you before you leave, "Don't forget that one neck breaking move that I showed you" and "Do you have that knife that I gave you last Christmas".

• When they give you the talk, Jacob was completely absent from the conversation, John wouldn't stop nervously pacing, and Faith and Joseph were mainly doing the talking.

• Jacob piping in at the end, to Joseph's aggravation, "Just make sure you wrap it up, kid."

• "Only when married can two partners share eachother in such an intimate and loving embrace," Joseph explains.

• Jacob admitting, "Ya'know kid, I actually don't mind having you around, and I don't like having anybody around."

• Joseph always saying, "After I lost my daughter, I never thought the Lord would gift me with another child, and then... and then we found you."

• Take your kid to work day, where John takes you to one of the Project's many court hearings at the Missoula courthouse.

• "My daughter/son would be a better lawyer than you ever could be and they haven't even become a lawyer yet."

• All the other cult members practically babysitting you, or watching your back while the Seeds did the Lord's work.

• Jacob giving you your very own Judge, that follows you around the Veteran's Center and elsewhere when he is busy.

• John Seed tried to cook for you one time and it came out horrible, so you both just started get pre-made meals in the mail.

• Prom night at the Hope County Highschool was a night to remember because John, Joseph, Jacob, and Faith all chaperoned.

• When no one wanted to dance with you in fear of your four parents, the Seeds each had one dance with you.

• John, Faith, and you pranked Jacob into beating up your PE teacher, with a disapproving Joseph on the sidelines.

• You all ended up back at the ranch anyways, for a family dinner.

• When you graduated high school, John Seed revealed his secret stash of wine to you, "You are old enough in my book."

• You having trouble figuring out what you want to do in life.

• "Whatever you do, whether its here with us, or not, we will support you."

• Jacob swelling with pride when you join the Army (but secretly afraid because he doesn't want you to go through what he went through), John nearly crying when you explain you want to become a JAG, and be a lawyer like him.

• John calling you to talk about the family and complain, Jacob rarely calling or accepting your phone calls (he doesn't like phones so much, but you know he cares), Joseph and you communicate through letters, and Faith always FaceTimes or Skypes you.

• When the first seal is broken, the Family urges you to return home to help prepare for the collapse.

• Even as you rushed to get back, there was not enough time.

• You don't make it back before the collapse and end up stuck in someone else's bunker, an individual that you soon come to be friends with.

• Joseph gives you a frantic welcome, crying and holding you in his vice grasp. He explains what happened, how Jacob, John and Faith were killed.

• When the seven years ends, you head straight to Hope County, your bunk mate and you head your separate ways. You look for your family with all of the energy you have, and you find them. There is only one left.

• And then you cry and feel guilty, because you blame yourself for not getting back in time. But Joseph talks you out of that guilt and explains to you that what we do now will be in their honor.

• Ethan being slightly jealous when Joseph shows you more love and affection than him.

• Joseph and you talk about them often.

• And he introduces you to the man you would call your brother, Ethan.

• Together, the three of you try to build what your family had always wanted.

• Joseph stating with so much appreciation and gratefulness in his voice, "You came back safe to me, you came back home. I am proud of you, and John, Jacob, and Faith would be so proud of you too."

• And you never once realized that the Judge was, in fact, the murderer of your beloved parents.

• At least you had Joseph and Ethan...

• Since the day Jacob punched your dad across the jaw in the church, "I know what it's like. No one will ever touch you like that ever again", he promised.

• The day that John stood in a court room and fought for you, "You are one of us now, and we Seeds protect eachother."

• The day that Joseph wrapped a blanket around you, "I knew you would come to us, to be part of our family."

• And the day that Faith held you in her loving embrace, "Everything happens for a reason, my little flower."

• That was the day you became a Seed.

[lions-arch-chronicle]

Issue 9

WARNING: Major spoilers for the end of LWS5 in the headline, the rest of the paper is spoiler free 

Image ID under cut

Title: The United Legions put Dominion on ice

Subtitle: WARNING: Major Spoilers for the end of Living World Season 5

Story: As a part of our continuing coverage of the Charr Civil war and the fight against the Elder Dragons, we have finally obtained another update from the front. Former Blood Imperator Bangar Ruinbringer has been reported to leading his Dominion followers to unthinkable ends in pursuit of victory. Reports of charr being transformed into ice brood known as the Ice Legion have been flooding in as the Ice Legion has begun to work with the Sons of Svanir in communing and serving the elder dragon Jormmag. United Legions report that all attempts at negotiation have failed and Jormagg has awakened and has chosen their champion. However, there has been an unseen turn in events. Despite the former Blood Legion Imperator being vocal about his goal of becoming the Elder Dragon’s champion to bolster the charr, reports have come in that the dragon has taken none other than Blood Tribune Rytlock Brimstone’s son and Dominion Tribune Ryland Steelcatcher. Reports say that neither the dragon nor the tribune has been seen since the United Legions and the Commander lead their strike on the Frost Citadel. Ruinbringer is reportedly being held by the Dragon’s Watch guild in the Eye of the North the status of the former Imperator is speculation at best and we cannot report more detailed information at this time.

Title: Community Event: Tyriaslibrary first anniversary

Story: Our lovely friends over at Tyriaslibrary are coming up on their first anniversary. For those unacquainted with the blog they are “A place to promote the many talented writers in the Guild Wars 2 fandom.” Where they reblog and promote the fan writers within the community in one place for people to browse and find content. For their first anniversary, they are hosting a community event from Aug 30 through Sept 6 where writers are encouraged to participate in writing for a specific prompt every few days.The prompts listed from the blog are as follows: 

August 30-31: Visiting the library. Write about your characters visiting the library and enjoying some books!

September 1-2: Tyrian book excerpts. Write what you think you’d find inside a book from Tyria! Someone’s got to compete with Snargle Goldclaw, right? 

September 3-4: Anniversaries. With the game’s anniversary happening too, celebrate by writing about any type of anniversary. 

September 5-6: Relaxation. You don’t need to curl up with a good book to relax, but it does help! Write about what your characters do when they get that well deserved break.

They are also hosting a meetup for the community on Saturday, September 5th at 3 pm pst on NA servers. The meeting will be on the second floor of the Minister Wii’s Mansion poi in Divinity’s Reach and look for or whisper Librarian Ink! And finally for content creators that aren’t as involved in writing they are also encouraging people to participate in the #tyrian book hunt where players take screenshots in areas with books to be shared on the blog.We here at the LAC would like to say congrats to the Library for a year of awesome content for their support of us as well!

Title: No Reservations: The GroveBeautiful as a garden but boring 

Story: The Grove is pretty on the outside, sure, but what is it like to visit? I will tell you! It’s very humid. There are lots of weeds everywhere to trip on so be sure to watch your step! I hope you like bugs because this place is full of them, you can’t go anywhere without a creepy crawly walking across your feet. All the residents are related too! Must be really hard to date here because everyone is your brother or sister. I will say it is a lively place and it stays green year round. On the very bottom level of The Grove there is a beautiful pond with lily pads that would be a great place to stay if you were a frog! I mean seriously, would it kill them to put in a mall and a McDonalds or something?Editor’s Note: We are unsure what Kittyblog means by “A McDonalds” when asked she wouldn’t clarify so your guess is as good as mine.

Title: The Boasting Hall, Hot Spring and Swing

Story: With everyone running around at the festivals lately, I’ve been running dry of sparring partners at Zelechor Hot Springs! Those of you who have run into me before know I follow a two-part spring strategy. I sit in the steaming waters and let them soak into my pores. Then, I get out in the cold, and fight something. It keeps me young. Come here and let me fight you. You’ll see my wisdom.  The festivals are nice and all but all of that food? All of that running around and the food and drink will weigh you down after all that time. Water washes the surface. Battle alone and cleanse your insides. Come visit me at the hot springs then you can truly be cleansed. Title:  The Shadow Behind the Throne: is Queen Jennah a Cat?

Story: Like many of you, I paid a visit to the Crown Pavilion recently, partially for the event, but mostly for the hors d’oeuvres. While I was there, I decided to take a gander at Queen Jennah- I mean, what self respecting gossip writer wouldn’t at the very least check to see if she really walks around barefoot! She does. But that got me thinking. While I was enjoying my light dinner, as well as the truly spectacular show, I realized something. Isn’t it quite the risk for the Queen of Kryta to be just… sitting in public like this? Besides, I’m sure she has plenty to do, even in a time of festivity, but as far as I could tell she’s been there since the party started! So, how could this be? Well, my first thought was mesmer clone, of course. But could you really trust a simple illusion to be so close up with the people? Of course not! It has to be a disguise, and it has to be someone she trusts with her life… That’s when it hit me. The Queen Jennah we see sitting in the Crown Pavilion is… the Queen’s beloved cat, Shadow! Call it far fetched all you want… But I’ve never been able to put shoes on a cat.

[lia-jones]

Growing Together - Chapter Thirteen - Like Ants Do

Fall was already making an appearance, painting the trees that lined the road to Terry’s ranch in reds and oranges. I always loved the season and everything it symbolized: the hot beverages, the crafts, and the colder weather that made me put on an extra sweater, but not cold enough to discourage me from leaving the house. The thing I loved the most, though, was the trees. It was like they were preparing to die and chose to go out with a bang, showing us how astonishing they could be, coloring the landscape for us so during the winter we would remember what it was like to have beautiful trees. Fall was the first step of a beautiful end, and, simultaneously, the promise of a magnificent beginning.

Inside the car, however, there was the energy of a painful start that still held the potential energy of an even more painful ending. A week had passed since Owen’s adoption, and we were faced with a very different child than the one we used to visit every weekend. The funny extroverted version of Owen seemed to no longer be available and gave way to a morose child who seemed on edge all the time.

For a week we tried to connect, and although it wasn’t all bad, it was nothing like we had expected. Owen seemed to have no excitement over his new house or his new room, and was yet to touch any of the toys we had bought him, busying himself with the books alone. He mostly kept to himself in his bedroom, and would only come out for activities with us if we insisted on it. The only thing that seemed to have some kind of effect was asking for him to help with chores, like setting the table or preparing dinner, which he would do quietly and cautiously, as if afraid to mess up somehow.

I couldn’t complain though, Victor was having it way worse. Even though it was difficult, I could still interact with the boy, but my husband wasn’t having such luck. Owen looked at him with frightened eyes, and avoided him like the plague, turning to me the rare times he needed something. Hence our trip to Terry’s farm. We hoped that a new activity, an exciting environment, could bring the boy out of his shell. To be honest, this small excursion was our Hail Mary.

Victor turned down the dirt road that led to the iron gate, focused on his driving. He had done his best to look casual and nonthreatening, wearing a gray sweater instead of the usual dress shirt, maintaining a relaxed look on his face. I obviously could see through it, noticing the clench in his jaw and the tension on his shoulders. And Owen apparently did too, as he almost curled in on himself in his seat, training his eyes on the scenery outside, and had yet to make a single peep.

Susan and Terry were waiting for us in the garden when we parked our car.

“Hey! How are you all?” Terry greeted us with a hug. “And who is this gorgeous young man?” She grinned at Owen.

“Owen, this is Terry, my aunt, and her girlfriend, Susan.” Victor held Owen’s shoulder fatherly. “Terry, this is Owen.”

“Nice to meet you!” Terry extended her hand for Owen to shake, which he politely took. “Your father tells me you like animals.”

“My father?” Owen made a confused expression, looking at Victor. “Yes…”

“Fantastic! I will show you the horses later.” Terry took Owen’s hand and motioned us to follow her. “Mina made iced tea, come have some.”

We followed her to the patio where a set table was already waiting for us. I sat down, saving a seat for Owen between me and Victor, my eyes on Owen, trying to assess his mood. The boy sat next to me quietly, his eyes on the ground. I took the iced tea pitcher, while Victor went inside to call Mina.

“Would you like to try some? It’s delicious.” I asked softly.

“Yes, please.” He took the glass from my hands, taking a sip. “Yum, it’s great!” He whispered, his eyes shining.

“See? I told you.” My heart jumped to see him relax, even if just a little. “You’ll love it here, you’ll get to meet Naia and Onyx.”

“You think I can ride them?” Owen’s eyes widened.

“Maybe not today, but we can definitely feed them.” I grinned.

“Andrea!” Mina greeted me, Victor following her. “How are you, dear? And this beautiful child… You are Owen, right?”

Mina crouched to his height, a sweet look in her eyes.

“Do you want to know what I’m making back in the kitchen? Victor’s favorite delicacy, saltwater taffy. Do you want to help me stretch it?”

Owen looked at her with wide eyes, excited to have that new experience. Until Victor spoke sternly.

“It’s alright Mina, he can stay with us, you don’t need to take him to the kitchen.” He spoke somewhat bitterly. “I’m not my father.”

Ouch . Bringing his son here was unfortunately making Victor relive some of his childhood memories, and for a second, everybody stared at him like he had said a dirty word. I cleared my throat.

“Unless you want to stretch the taffy with Mina.” I spoke. “You can go if you want to, Owen.”

The red-haired boy looked at Victor for a sign of disapproval, but Victor was too busy shooting a confused look at me. As Owen finally decided, following Mina to the kitchen, I tried to placate my husband.

“It’s ok, let him go.” I whispered. “If he wants to go with Mina, let him.”

Victor pursed his lips, but remained silent.

“So, how is the first week going?” Terry tried to break the tension.

Awful. Terrible. A nightmare. We have no idea of what we are doing.

“Good.” Victor quipped, helping himself with some ice tea. “We were visiting schools this week, Owen is starting next week at Crestview.”

Another touchy subject. Victor and I couldn’t agree on the school. He wanted a more traditional one, like the ones he attended, with bratty rich kids and boastful parents, while I was leaning towards a public school, with trees and a playground where Owen could go play in the rain and the mud. Eventually, Victor twisted my arm. The school was known for having excellent teachers, and it was close to home. I had no reason to say no.

“That is a very reputable school, wonderful choice.” Terry nodded in approval. “Owen will thrive there.”

“Andrea is not entirely convinced yet.” My husband commented, smiling smugly at me.

This had not been a good week, especially for Victor. So I let the comment slide.

“Look what we got here!” Mina emerged from the kitchen once again, a proud Owen behind her, holding a bowl full of taffy pieces.

“Try one!” Owen placed the bowl on the table. “They are very good.”

We all took a piece, and I realized once again why this was Victor’s favorite. Mina’s taffy was a perfect balance of salty and sweet, and it melted in one’s mouth as soon as it touched it, turning into this velvety sweetness.

“Can I explore the garden?” Owen asked me, excited.

I was loving seeing him this happy; it turned out our idea had been quite a good one. But the garden was immense. My heart shrunk at the thought.

“Will you be careful? Please stay near.” I cautioned.

“I’m four, I’m not a baby. I won’t get lost.” Owen assured me.

“There are a lot of secrets hiding in this garden.” Victor spoke to Owen, who shrunk slightly at the sound of his voice. “Go explore, have fun.”

Happy with Victor’s answer, the boy ran to the garden, lost in his own imagination.

“He’ll be ok, he’s a smart child.” I felt Vic’s hand on mine, reassuring me. “I was seven when I took my first transatlantic flight. This is just a garden.”

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at him.

“Your parents were with you all the time, there’s hardly any comparison.”

“I went by myself.” Victor replied nonchalantly. “My mother was in France at the time, and my father was busy, so I went on my own.”

For a moment, I didn’t know what to say. Well, I knew what to say. I just didn’t know if I should say it. It turned out, like most times in my life, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.

“Your parents let you fly across the ocean, to a foreign country, all by yourself?” My voice sounded shocked, but I couldn’t help it. I was astonished.

“I was being taken care of by the flight attendants, I had a car waiting for me at the airport to take me to my mother’s house. It was perfectly safe.”

I could see by Mina and Terry’s expression that I was dealing with yet another sensitive subject, Terry shaking her head behind Victor, telling me to leave it alone. That was a Lee thing, pretending that bad things don’t exist, or that they are normal, appearances mattering most of all. I decided there and then that, although I was a Lee, I wasn’t born one, so I would speak my mind. Gently.

“So what you’re saying is that, if my mother were to invite Owen to Portugal and both of us were busy, you would have no problem putting him on a plane by himself and sending him there?”

“Without one of us? Of course not!” Victor was about to say something else but paused, lost in thought, his answer dawning on him.

There was a moment of silence at that moment, as we witnessed many emotions go through the eyes of the man I loved. And for a moment, I felt guilty for pointing out an ugly truth. It was the truth, and in a way, Victor needed to realize the gravity of it, but it still hurt him. And I hated to see him hurt.

“What do you say we go show Owen the horses? Onyx and Naia will love to see you.” Terry broke the silence.

“I’ll go get some carrots and sugar cubes for Owen to feed them.” Mina walked into the kitchen.

As he saw me waving at him, the boy ran back to us, his face almost as red as his curls.

“I found an anthill!” He declared, excited. “Can I take some taffy to feed the ants?”

“Maybe later.” I laughed. “Come on, finish your tea, we’re going to see the horses.”

“Do you know ants don't have lungs or ears?” Owen started talking excitedly, just like before. “They sense vibrations and they communicate with chemicals they produce. And they have two stomachs!”

“Two stomachs?” I played along. “That’s a lot of food for such a tiny ant. They should be really fat!”

“They don’t eat all of it!” Owen giggled. “It’s one for them and the other for storage. They need to feed the ants that stay behind!”

“They don’t get fat, they exercise, carrying all that food.” Victor joked, pleased to see Owen as vibrant again.

“They can carry up to fifty times their weight! And that means things that are way bigger than them!” Owen gesticulated excitingly, forgetting the glass of ice tea he was holding. As he lifted his hands to illustrate his point, the glass slipped from his hand, shattering on the ground. Owen’s face, flushed and happy before, turned pale.

“Be careful, don’t step on the glass, honey.” I bowed to the floor with a napkin, picking the bigger shards from the floor.

“I’m sorry I made a mess.” He panicked, looking at the broken glass on the floor. “I’ll clean it up, don’t be mad!” He crouched next to me, his tiny hands ready to touch the sharp shards. Before I could say anything, Victor's voice echoed through the garden.

“Owen, NO! Don’t touch that!”

Owen let out a frightened scream, jumping into my arms.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, please don’t be mad at me! I didn’t mean it!” He burst into tears, his face buried in my shoulder.

“Owen, I’m not mad.” Victor tried. “I was just-”

“I want Miss Dillon, I want to go back!” Owen interrupted him, tightening his grip on me. “Please take me back.”

And the crushed look spreading over my husband’s face broke my heart.

“Owen, it’s ok, nothing wrong happened, it was just a glass.” I caressed his curls. “Victor was just afraid you would cut yourself on the glass, he didn’t mean to scare you. He is not mad at you, I promise.”

“I’m sorry I made a mess…” The boy sobbed in my arms, and I watched Victor silently walk into the house, completely disheartened. Mina and Terry followed him.

“Owen, I need you to calm down and pay close attention to me, can you do that?” I whispered to him.

After a moment, the sobbing ceased, and Owen turned his eyes to me.

“When we make a mess, we simply clean it up. Or, in this case, because it’s dangerous, we ask for help to clean it up. And next time, we pay attention. That’s it. No one needs to cry. No one will ever get mad at you because of one silly accident.”

The boy kept staring at me, still deciding if he should believe me.

“Besides, when one ant drops a piece of bread, the other ants don’t get mad, do they? They help their mate. In this family, we do the same. We are just like the ants, working together as a family.”

“But…” Owen trailed off, his eyes turning to the door Victor walked through.

“He wasn’t mad, he just didn’t want you to get hurt. But he has that thunder voice that can scare the ants.” I joked, making Owen chuckle. “Come on, help me get a broom so we can clean this.”

“Andy…” He interrupted me before I could get up, his face somber again. “I’m sorry I said I want to go back to Miss Dillon. I didn't mean it.”

“I know.” I smiled at him. “Don’t worry about it, ok?”

It was exhilarating to see Owen smile back at me.

For the first time that week, despite the drama, I felt that I got through to him. We walked into the kitchen, Owen in a much better mood, holding my hand.

“Don’t worry, my angel, I’ll clean it up.” Mina took the broom from Owen’s hands.

“Hey, I would love to see that anthill you found.” Terry called Owen. “Will you show it to me?”

“Can I?” He turned to me.

“Of course, my little ant.” I ruffled his hair, making him giggle. “Go have fun.”

I stayed behind with Mina in the kitchen, watching an enthused Owen tell Terry all the fun facts he knew about ants.

“He’s in the study.” Mina informed me with a knowing smile, following them outside with the broom.

I carefully knocked on the study’s door, hearing an annoyed Yes from inside. Victor was sitting on a chair, fingers rubbing his temples, staring at the carpet.

“How is Owen?” Victor looked up when he saw me.

“He’s fine, he’s in a good mood. Terry took him outside.” I downplayed it.

“Didn’t you see how frightened he was? He was shaking. He’s scared of me.” Victor stated blandly, a deep dark pit of sorrow in his grey eyes.

Based on our previous conversation, it wasn’t hard to get to the root of what was troubling my husband. I kneeled before him, placing my hands on his shoulders.

“You are not your father. You and your father are completely different people.”

“Maybe I am though.” He turned his eyes away in shame. “Maybe one day Owen will look back and see what a terrible father I was. I yelled at him. What kind of person yells at a little child, let alone his own son?”

“Why did you yell at him?”

“I didn’t want him to cut himself in the glass. But I-”

“Exactly.” I held his face in my hands. “You weren’t scolding him, you were protecting him. Just what a good father would do. I would’ve done exactly the same, you just beat me to it.”

I felt my husband’s tension slacken slightly, as he let out a deep breath.

“Look, I don't want you to second guess yourself like this.” I looked deep into his eyes. “It’s normal to have questions, it’s ok not to know everything, but if there is a person I know is absolutely competent and experienced in raising a child, it’s the man I love.”

“Experienced?” He frowned at me. “I‘ve never raised a child before in my life, what on earth are you talking about?”

“Yes, you have.” I answered firmly. “You raised yourself.”

He scoffed, looking away, like I had said something ridiculous. My gentle hands guided his face towards mine again.

“It’s true. Victor, you were neglected in so many ways, and even as a child, all by yourself, you guided yourself towards the best choices in life, and you became the wonderful man you are today. You are nothing like your father, because you chose not to be. Despite everything you could have learned from him, despite his negative influence, you chose differently.”

Victor looked at me with wide eyes. Hopefully, my words were sinking into him. I continued my heartfelt speech.

“And you did this as a child, with zero life experience. Now that you are an adult, you can help Owen in the way he needs, help him overcome all he’s been through. All you need to do is guide him the same way you did to yourself, this is nothing new to you. You did this before. And while things may seem hard now, they won’t be like this forever. You just have to be patient. Time and love will make all the pieces fit together. To be honest, I think Owen is really lucky to have you as a father.”

The corner of my husband’s mouth lifted, his gaze soft and loving, all the worry magically gone.

“Come here.” Victor pulled me to his lap, his lips touching mine, making me melt in his arms, like I always did. “I’m the lucky one.” He hushed, as he broke the kiss.

A few moments after, childish laughter sounded through the house. Owen had returned from the garden with Terry, and he looked positively delighted.

“Hey!” I greeted them. “Did you have fun, Owen?”

Owen said nothing, his gaze locked on Victor. He was still uneasy, not knowing what to expect.

“We still have to visit the stables.” Victor chimed in. “Owen, do you want to meet our horses?”

The boy nodded.

“Come on, then.” Victor motioned for him to follow. “Do you know the names of our horses?”

“Naia and Onyx. Naia is a mare and Onyx is a stallion.” Owen replied.

“Very good. Onyx is the horse I ride, Naia is Andrea’s. When you learn how to ride properly, you will have your own horse.” Victor promised as he walked beside Owen.

“I’m going to learn how to ride a horse?” Owen asked, exhilarated.

“Yes, I will teach you. What do you say?”

“Yes, please, Sir.”

I walked a few steps behind, trying to give them the space they needed to bond. I had absolutely no doubt in my mind that Owen would see Victor for the wonderful man that he was, and that a beautiful relationship was in the making. It would take some time, but we would finally have the family we all dreamed of.

[my-brothers-corrupted]

My Brothers, Corrupted

Chapter Three : Section Five : Two Truths and a Lie

Chapter One l Chapter Two l Chapter Three

After a few harrowing days, we tie up loose ends and answer questions, while Anti goes searching for answers in a less orthodox way.

Trigger warnings for sudden distress, physical abuse and restraint, mentions of cutting and blood (not self-inflicted), and emotional manipulation.

Section Five of Chapter Three: Two Truths and a Lie

Okay I usually try to save questions I don’t get to for the next time I get to the boys but we’re just going to have some miscellaneous question time lol so I can clean out my inbox! you can ask anybody anything right now. I’ll probably just clear everything out and then later or tomorrow I’ll set a scene

I do think I want to come back towards more casual answering like we used to at the start, so if I start answering questions at more random times instead of like in two-hour chunks bear with me :)

Except Trick he’s not taking questions D:

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Hey Dap! You feeling any better?

Dap is still cozied up in his blankets, holding you between his pale palms as he rouses himself. He sets you down on his lap.

“Feel very tired,” he confesses. “But not so much in the no-energy way. More like the no-interest way.”

“No interest in what?” asks Red softly, coming over off-screen to set a cup of water on his bedside table. Dapper doesn’t answer, rubbing at his sleepy eyes.

“Glad your color’s up,” says Red, though you can hear the frown in his voice. “You come back much quicker than Blue, honestly. Maybe you didn’t use as much power as I thought?”

Dapper shrugs and his stomach growls, but he doesn’t complain.

Anonymous asked: Hey boys

“Hi,” waves Dapper, smiling for you. “How are you, camera?”

Red chuckles and shuffles around the room.

“It talks to me,” signs Dapper dreamily. “Lots of voices. Cameras, brothers, bears, empty rooms. It talks to me.“

aether-mae asked: Magicians! can you either tell us your location, or tell us a location near you? Are you still in Peru?

“We are in Peru,” says Emmanuela. “It may not be safe to be more specific than that.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: What are you two up to?

“I’ve got to go get him some breakfast here in a minute,” murmurs Red, coming to set you on the desk in the corner of the square little room, so you can see them better. There’s water damage making the ceiling sag and Dapper scratches on a little red bite on his neck, hugging his filthy white bear to his chest.

“I shouldn’t have spent so much on getting a room for a couple days,” sighs Red. “But he needed to lie down. And I have to admit it’s nice not sleeping on the street for a night.”

spicydanhowell asked: dap, red, when you're up, have you noticed maybe some churches or other places in local communities that have food donations? or actually, all kinds of fruit grow in peru. if you can find some kind of garden or orchard, you could snag some fruit when nobody's around. either of these would be a lot better than shoplifting or robbing houses :(

“You’re probably right,” mumbles Red morosely, dragging his hands through his hair. “I don’t trust those food donation places though. Fucking cops could be hanging out. Scumbags. Worse than American cops, here. Maybe.”

“That only happened once,” says Dapper. “Now you’re paranoid.”

“What?”

“It only happened once,” repeats Dapper, frowning. “That the cop followed you home after you went to get food from the nuns. And then Anti handled it. You’re paranoid.”

Red pauses, his mouth opening and shutting once.

“Dap… bud, you know I don’t remember farther back than Norway, right?”

Dapper doesn’t say anything, picking at the dirt on his bear’s ears.

“There’s no gardens around here that I know of, we’re right in the middle of this ugly city and everything’s apartment buildings and run-down businesses. I’m going to try and find a restaurant that throws stuff out or something before I steal anything, I guess. But I’m scared to be out in public and I just… I just wish we had…”

He kneads his thumb into his palm and goes quiet, his head down from the weight of it all.

cest-mellow asked: hey dok! how are you feeling with the magicians now? any safer than before?

He slept in his own bed tonight, curled up beneath the covers, but when he comes back to you, he looks upset, maybe even tearful.

“I’m sorry,” he croaks, holding you very tight again, rubbing at his wrists. “But I woke up afraid today and I - I - ”

He pauses, staring around him, his mouth shuddering.

“I don’t know, I felt safe yesterday, but I’m worried they did something to my head.”

He pushes his palm against the side of his skull and closes his eyes, biting down hard on his lip.

“Don’t know what kind of powers they have,” he whimpers. “What sort of things they could make me think. I never trust anybody but my family anymore… one time Anti said I could go to the synagogue, but I was too scared even to go… everybody is a threat.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: They've made a vow to us that they won't harm you, Dok. Don't be afraid :) we got your back

Dok breathes out a low sigh and swallows.

“Okay. Okay. They haven’t hurt me yet. Or the ones I’ve met, anyway. I don’t think that Old Man likes me, JP said… and the medic girl, she doesn’t like me. I don’t want her to touch me.”

He wraps his arms around himself.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: What have you been doing to keep busy, Dok?

“I sleep… I’m so tired. I haven’t really been… coherent enough to do much of anything this last week, but now…”

He chuckles, rubbing his arms. “Well, I confess a little boredom, but that’s the least of my worries, really.”

cest-mellow asked: magicians, did you guys do something to dok’s head?

The magicians seem to have found a way to share JP’s little network for your messages across devices, because you find yourself looking through a phone camera at Genesis and Hermann.

“Oh, yay, it is working,” he says.

“To his head?” asks Genesis.

“Oh, no, no, certainly not,” says Hermann. “What, hit him or hypnotize him or something like that? No, he’s okay. Is he scared of that?”

“It’s not surprising for him to be confused,” says Genesis.

And then, after a moment, she adds, “It was the same way with me, when I started to realize I hated my parents. It’s like - what, am I really thinking these things? Is this really all true? I think it would have been almost a relief to wonder if someone was hypnotizing me, so I didn’t have to admit what I was thinking.”

Hermann gives her privacy to say it, turning away and busying himself with whatever they’re working on. A moment later, he straightens up with his arms laden with bags and boxes and a backpack thrown over his shoulder.

“Good news, though,” he says, smiling at you. “We finished going through all the things they had in the car, so now the medico can see everything that didn’t seem dangerous. Do you think he’ll like having his stuff back?”

“We think this is his,” adds Genesis, holding up Dok’s nice white doctor’s coat. “Yeah?”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Where'd you find that? I'm sure he'll love to have it back!

“They left their car behind,” says Genesis. “So everything that wasn’t on the backs of the others is with us now!”

nikkilbook asked: Could have sworn Marvin had a Lapwing tattoo...? Pretty sure he was in the Irish order. And just in case, check for the name “Marvin McLoughlin.” Not sure if that’s the one, but I figure it’s worth a shot.

“Oh, I do,” mumbles Blue.

You find him laid out in a new bed, dressed in white, looking very tired, but cozy beneath his covers.

“Yes, I think that’s what it is. A lapwing. I don’t remember well…”

———————

“Oh, Lapwing,” says JP, nodding at his computer. “Oh, excellent. Oh, perfect, thank you, thank you. An Irish magician. I will find him.”

Anonymous asked: Hello Marv, how are you feeling?

“A little zoned out,” he mumbles, closing his eyes. “They gave me something different. I don’t mind, though. It calmed me down. Now I’m not so upset. I felt like I couldn’t even handle last night. But now I’m just drifting…”

He shivers, once.

“I’m just scared of what Anti will do to me… to Trick…”

bupine asked: what else was in the car, magicians?

“Well, we did find some creepy stuff,” confesses Hermann, frowning. “Like… masks and stuff.”

“Chains.”

“Yeah, things to torture people, you know, like - blowtorch?”

“Yeah, that’s the word. And this weird electric set-up. Like these bars that could shock you. Really fucked up stuff.”

“But then the rest of it is just normal stuff!” Hermann puts his hand in one of the boxes and rifles through. “Games, toys, books, art stuff. Mostly clothes!”

“We’ll let the medico look through the rest of it.”

bupine asked: hey anti, is trick ok?

Anti glances up at you, a warning in his eyes.

He’s sitting on his bed, eating cold red curry out of the take-out box while he works on his computer. It looks to be late afternoon with that much light coming in the window.

He doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t move you, either, and you can see a figure laid out in the bed beside him, his messy hair fluffed against the pillows, breathing deep and steady as he sleeps.

aether-mae asked: Hey magicians, i was wondering if we could lead the other brothers who are also separated from the demon to you. Is there a location we could ask them to meet you at?

“Oh, please do,” begs Hermann, eyes wide. “Please bring the other boys here. We would really keep them safe, I do promise. I… I don’t know where we could meet them, I’d have to ask Emmanuela.”

“Good look convincing them,” mumbles Genesis, looking unconvinced, but sad too, because she knows even better than Hermann the way that they were living.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: You need to take care of him, Anti. He can't deal with your crap, okay?

Anti chooses to type his answers back to you. Actually, he doesn’t look to be typing at all, but his words show up on your screen nevertheless.

“What about this makes you think I’m not taking care of him?”

scunneredzombie asked: Y'know Anti... as horrid as all the things you're doing are, I'm starting to notice something. In your own weird way, you really do adore your brothers. You've said before you're incapable of love but, honestly? I doubt that. You love them. You want family just as much as they do. Why not give it to them, Anti? Why do you have to hurt them, why not allow you all to be a family? A normal, healthy, family?

Anti’s mouth opens angrily, and then he blushes dark, realizing he’s been caught red-handed showing mercy to one of his puppets.

“I do not adore him,” he sends you, eyes flashing. “He’s a guard dog. But if you want to believe I’m secretly a soft, loving, lonely little boy, hey - go right the fuck ahead.”

He smiles meanly at you.

“Family is a manipulation tactic. Trickshot is a pet.”

Anonymous asked: “What about this makes you think I’m not taking care of him?” Because you're you. Do we even have to elaborate?

“I can be nice,” types Anti, and gives you a mocking smile.

Trick shifts on the bed next to him and Anti’s face returns to apathetic concentration, putting another chopstick-full of curry in his mouth.

“Anti,” mumbles Trick, half asleep. Anti reaches back without looking to rub his back and Trick sighs warmly.

Anonymous asked: Magos, your goal is admirable, but you should know that it's futile on its current course. Do any of you have phones? Computers? Radios, even? Do you ever leave base? Do you have family, friends, with those things who live off-base? Then you're not secure enough to hide from the demon. He'll find you all, kill you all, and take Dok back for himself. If you can't find and save ALL the brothers soon, you'd just as well drop Dok off where the demon can find him, and maybe you'll survive longer.

Genesis has a fight in her eyes and she opens her mouth to speak, but before she can, Hermann is speaking, louder than you’ve ever heard him.

“Well, maybe so!” he says, scattering the birds from the trees.

He puts his head down and repeats it.

“Maybe so. Maybe the monster will find him again. Maybe the monster will find us and take him away. But I think… I think a week, two weeks, a month of being treated like a human being, as long as we can give him or his brothers being treated like a human being, with kindness, with respect, with basic needs - that…”

He nods his head, slow.

“That is worth it. That is worth whatever happens. That is a cause to die for. You hear about tragedies, sometimes, from afar, and so many people must have felt so hopeless… alone, even as they died. A moment of mercy is worth it. Maybe I can’t save them, but… I can help. I know that the magician is alive because of me. And that was worth it. I believe that, I do.”

He stares at the floor for a moment, and then, a little reddened from the passion of it, he turns to smile at Genesis and mumbles something about bringing Dok the first of his things before turning to shuffle away.

Genesis shoots you a look.

“Hermann is a man of God,” she says. “But I will fuck your shit up! Your monster was a little bitch on the shore of that river, there, I said it! Ran with his tail between his legs! Fuck it! We’re going to do the best we can. And if that doesn’t work, well, I’ll leave it to over-invested poets like that dumb-ass to make it okay.”

She beams fondly after Hermann and scoops up the rest of the boxes and backpacks, but as she moves, you see the smile on her face flicker away into worry.

Anonymous asked: Hermann, I think the glitch might be hiding somewhere in Asia, from what I can see.

“Oh, tell Emmanuela!” calls Hermann, when Genesis catches up to him.

“Oh, I don’t remember what JP said about sending the messages.”

“There’s like a button that - that one?”

“I don’t - oh, and then, Emmanuela - oh, it’s gone!”

“Is it with her?”

“Is it - yeah, I don’t know.”

“Oh.”

“Oh.”

They pause, looking at each other.

“I’ll text her,” says Genesis.

—————————

You find Emmanuela in a small white office, flowers blooming on the shelf beside her. She’s writing something. She barely looks up as the message reaches her computer.

“Thank you for telling me,” she says.

The dark sheen of her hair glows in the morning light, falling down her back.

“You were right to mention it. You seem to be right. The sunbirds were a young order. Small and intimate. Not someone I’ve communicated with before, but someone I know of. Caleb was their leader’s name.”

She pauses for a moment in her writing. Her expression does not change. She stares ahead.

“The sunbirds are dead,” she says, and continues her work.

immabethehero asked: Red, Dap, if we said we could get you somewhere safe and off the streets, but away from Anti, would you take it?

Red glances at the camera, his eyebrow quirking up, a deep frown on his mouth.

“That sounds suspicious,” he says, getting a cup for water. “And I’m trying to get back to Anti, not farther away from him.”

He can’t keep a little irritation out of his voice.

bupine asked: we kind of do know why anti stole the brothers away. it's to do with a man called jack, who anti used to be friends with. we think he's still alive, but even anti doesn't know where he is. the brothers used to be friends with him. we don't know what happened to him, but all this revolves around this man.

“Hm, okay,” says JP, working at his computer, books stacked around him. He stretches his wrists, thinking. “I guess I could look for a Jack in the Lapwing records too. Ireland has a large magical order, though, even bigger than the whole of Peru.”

Anonymous asked: Hey Blue? Trick is... taking a social media break from us so we can't talk to him. I'm sorry he didn't take things well but you're right in taking care of yourself first. We need you to have your head on straight and you're heading in the right direction and we support that. We'll help you however we can.

“A social media break,” says Blue, and a laugh starts before the rest of the message registers.

“What… he won’t even talk to you?”

He pauses, staring at the wall.

“Give him time,” he mumbles finally, grief in his voice. “I’m sure he’ll… I’m sure he’ll come around, right?”

For a moment, there is nothing but the movement of footsteps in the hall and the buzzing of the lights.

And then, weakly:

“He didn’t… come to see me this morning. He comes to see me every morning… so I’m not alone all day.”

Swish, swish, click. Footsteps past his door. Thrumming lights. The largeness of his room and the smallness of himself inside of it. He rubs his own arm.

bupine asked: we're not trying to hurt trick, anti. we just want to know he's alright. how has he been? he won't talk to us anymore.

“Oh, I know you’re not,” types Anti, now not even looking at you, playing with Trick’s hair. Trick hums contentedly and scoots closer to Anti, relief so great it looks painful flickering through his face. “I know how attached you are to all of them. Some more than others, sure. But I know.”

He scratches his hand across Trick’s scalp. There’s a faint meowing outside the door, confused.

“He just needs a rest. Not like him to come begging to me, so I know he must have been really upset. Dok’s not here to comfort the little baby, so I’ll have to.”

Anti pauses, scratching beside Trick’s ear, humming a little as the light pours in. A big pink flower blooms on the headboard, but Anti hardly seems to notice.

“Then again, it is nice to have someone all sweet to myself again. I miss sleeping with my Dapper. And Trick is just so - ”

The typing pauses. Trick has slid an eye open, staring wearily, brokenly, lovingly up at Anti.

Anti runs his thumb down his face. He looks so much like him. Anti had almost forgotten. It’s been a long time since he spared Trick a glance. It used to upset him, the similarity there. But now…

Anti scratches gently through his beard, watching his boy. Maybe he’ll cut his hair today.

aether-mae asked: Dok! You need to get the magicians to find Red. We can try and get his location as best we can but we need to get him to you asap before he can get to anti

Dok recoils, holding his shoulders. “What - lead Red here? No, no, no, Red should be with Anti. We all should. I should be with Anti. Nobody here understands! Even if they are nice, they don’t understand and they never will! And Red - Red killed one of them. If there are people here who don’t like me, I can only imagine what they might think of him. No, no, keep him far away. I bet it’s easier for Anti to find him if he’s not here. Anti will get Red and then Anti will get me, too, and everything will be okay.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: How do you all protect yourselves from attacks? Do you even get attacked, magicos?

“Ah, well,” says JP, continuing to type. “We’re in a very secure location, I can tell you that. It’s hidden in more ways than one. No one has ever attacked us at our home base, except one time when she was young Juana was possessed! But that hasn’t happened since. Something would have to get inside that was already a threat. And to be fair, there are quite a few powerful magicians here. Emmanuela, Christof - ”

He blanches and cuts himself down, a sudden grief twisting up his mouth.

Anonymous asked: Hey Anti can you let Trick feed his cat please? I know you won't do it but someone should.

“He feeds that cat just fine. It can wait another half hour for him to wake up.”

He is smiling down at Trick, watching him drift sleepily besides him. He doesn’t know why he suddenly feels so fond of him. Been too long since he had Dapper. Or anybody. He’s just been watching Blue sleep all week. Trick doesn’t even know you’re there, and Anti does not give it away.

Anonymous asked: Blue, you're going through a fucking lot right now. I can't imagine what it's like for you. But! What I can imagine is you at least getting to see everyone again! Don't ask me how, but I know there are currently people (good and safe people) out there researching on what's happened, how to help you, and even who you used to be. Please don't give up, there is hope out there, and we'll do our best to support you and let you know what's going on with your brothers.

Blue clasps his hands together, nodding slowly, too tired to cry.

“Thank you. I’m… I’ll do my best.”

He rubs at his face and breathes out a shuddering breath.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Blue? Do you trust the magicians??

“I don’t know,” he says, very small and very tired. “I don’t know anything anymore. Magicians are just people. And people can always turn out to be hateful. I don’t know.”

Anonymous asked: Anti, please just let Trick rest for the night... He feels really dejected because Blue wouldn't come with him, as you see, and he's really not doing well without any brothers, besides yourself, to help take care of and to live with.

“I think it has been hard for him, being away from everyone,” agrees Anti. “So needy.”

He smiles, but then a flash of anger rises on his face.

“Of course, that’s why Blue was supposed to come home. So Trick could have someone to take care of and be taken care of by. Guess I’ll just have to keep him in line myself.”

spicydanhowell asked: hey red? anti's actually quite close to finding dok, and the magicians have kept him healthy and fed, so if you go to them they will give you protection from the police, food, and medicine, and anti will come get you soon, And dok is missing you both so much :( anti will never find you if you run around like this. the magicians are really harmless. it would be best for dap to go there right now so he can be fed and medicated and get back to anti quickly. love you hunny, be safe.

Red squirms, standing close to Dap protectively. “I don’t know what they would do to a kid as powerful as him,” he says. “And even if they’re nice to Dok, we - we both hurt them. I killed that guy with the book and Dapper stabbed one and tortured the other.”

Dapper stares at his bear, seeming to not even hear.

“I don’t know. I don’t like it. I don’t - I just - I just want to go back to Anti!” He clutches his fists, overwhelmed. “And we can’t go anywhere now anyway. We don’t have a way to travel until I get more money and I got this place for another couple nights. As long as the cops don’t find us. And I think I’m even more wanted in Peru than I am here. I just - I want - ”

He cuts himself off again, biting down on his lip.

spicydanhowell asked: marv, chase is just sleeping, okay? i think he's really worn out from all the emotion. he's okay though. anti is being kind to him. he hasn't been punished. please don't worry dear.

“Oh, good,” breathes Blue, closing his eyes. “He’s not hurt. And maybe - maybe he’ll come see me when he wakes up. If Anti lets him. He wouldn’t choose not to come see me…”

Anonymous asked: How are you feeling right now Marvin? It might be good to get it out there if you're feeling up to it.

“Please don’t worry,” he murmurs. “I’m just tired. I’m starting to think this fatigue won’t go away. I can’t even walk today. The nurse has to help me. Still got this in my nose.”

He tugs wearily on his nasal cannula.

“Just feel… alone. And pretty pathetic. And I’m angry, I’m angry, I’m so angry.”

He covers his face with his hands.

“At everything.”

Anonymous asked: how long is the psychiatric hold supposed to last? were you evaluated yet blue? sorry if that's personal, but i guess this is actually a fib so maybe not.

“Someone’s supposed to come talk to me today. I just had an entrance exam. The only asked me like five questions. I think the doctor had been waiting for an admission like this. I don’t know how long they can keep me…”

spicydanhowell asked: its okay if you want to stay away a little longer red, but the magicians have told us that theyd happily take care of both of you. there are no hard feelings. they really, truly care about your family, and it is the best way to get back to anti. he is going to get there soon, and he'll be glad you took dap to a safe place

“I don’t need anyone taking care of my little brothers for me!” snaps Red, heat and shame rising in his cheeks. “And Anti would not want us to be there. No matter what choice I make I know that much for certain.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: What else did you find?

“Hey, medico?”

There’s a knock on his door and Dok jolts up, blinking ans clutching you to his chest. Hermann pokes his head in a moment later, smiling gently.

“Hey, we’ve got some of your stuff from the car you guys took. Do you want to see it?”

Some of his stuff?

Dok blinks and then nods slowly, trying not to get his hopes up.

Genesis and Hermann bring him two backpacks, two boxes, and his own little draw-string bag. Relieved, he opens it a finds all of his own clothes inside.

“Thank you,” he gasps, clutching one of his three shirts to his chest.

“We got rid of anything electronic,” says Genesis. “Figured that was safer.”

A worm of distress wiggles through his chest, but he’ll take what he can get. “I know the way you think about my brother. I’m glad to have - oh!”

His coffee! From Trick!

He nearly drops you to hold it, squeezing his hands around the bag.

“We’ll let you look through it,” laughs Genesis.

“Yeah, let us know if you need anything,” adds Hermann, smiling.

They leave and shut the door behind them.

The lock does not click.

Dok stares up at it for a moment, thinking.

But he’ll focus on this for now.

Most everything is either his or Dapper’s or Blue’s. He hopes Red and Trick have most of their things. He has Blue’s clothes and more jewelry than he expected in one of the boxes, stuff he’s never even seen Blue wear before. Dapper’s clothes are here too - there’s more of them than Blue’s and Dok’s combined, hot sweatshirts and starchy dress shirts, nice pants and tight black shoes, even though he never leaves the house. One of the backpacks has paper, sketchpads, watercolors, colored pencils, chalks, and erasers. Dok puts a sketchpad beside him to look at later. Dap’s puppet toys are here too, and some nice red cloth and fairy lights. Dok can tell some stuff has been taken out, like collars and wrist restraints.

aether-mae asked: (For the magicians) Great! Yes! We would be more than happy to bring them to you, but we just need a location to ask them to come to. I was thinking we tell them anti is going to collect them there

Emmanuela drums her fingers along her desk, tilting her head at you.

“If there are others who can make it back - and if we can confirm that they aren’t possessed by the monster - your friends can come to the Church of Santo Domingo. We could meet them there. We are not far. They could wait by the skull of Santa Rosa inside. Be cautious not to lose their trust.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Hey Dap! Does the Church of Santa Dominigo ring any bells?

Dapper’s head perks up.

“Red and Blue would not let me see her!”

“Are you talking about that day you ran off?” frowns Red.

“I went to the convent, and I hid in the corner, and across the street was the church with her skull, and I wanted to see. In Saint Dominic’s Church. But we had to go rob a car instead.”

He puts his head down on his hand.

“You got a churro, though,” says Red uncertainly, confused by his mood. “That was good, right?”

Dapper stares at the wall, eyes downcast.

Red glances at you. “It’s, uh. In the middle of the city. Hard to miss. I’ve passed it many times.”

spicydanhowell asked: red... i don't want to upset you... but how else is he going to find you if you keep running around like this? the rule of thumb when you're lost and waiting for rescue is to stay in one place, and the best place to be would definitely be the place anti is going to go to once blue is out of the hospital. you might be there a only a few days, and you won't have to go hungry, or lock dapper up in a room or handcuff him to a church pew. you'll be safe. you'll get home, i promise hunny.

Red lets out a frustrated huff, trying to pretend he’s not considering it. It would be so nice to feel like Dapper was safe somewhere, even if they were prisoners.

“Anti… Anti’s going to find us. He is.”

They could have plenty to eat, they could sleep in beds, they could -

“Well, I don’t know that,” he interrupts himself, scowling. “We’re both much more wanted than Dok is. I don’t know if he has a criminal record at all. They could just turn us over to the police. For all I know, you’re one of them!”

He scuffs his foot against the floor, irritated by his own helplessness.

“Never mind,” he grumbles. “I gotta focus on right now. Dap, I’m going out, okay, I’ll be back in a couple hours.”

Dapper jumps out of bed, alarm on his face, and races towards his shoes by the door.

“Dap! No. You could have another snap at any time. You need routine, right? A steady environment with no surprises. You’re staying here.”

Almost panting, Dapper tugs his right shoe on, tying the laces tight, tight!

“Dapper, come on, are you kidding?” Red stalks over to him and snatches the other shoe out of his hand before he can put it on. “I could get in a fight! It’s not safe. And I’ll be more discreet alone.”

But Dapper isn’t listening, or if he is, he doesn’t agree. His hands scramble up for the shoe, once, twice, but when Red doesn’t give it to him he grabs his brother’s jacket and looks up at him with big puppy eyes, desperately sweet, and once again Red feels his skin crawl from the falseness of it, and he knows that his brother is trying to manipulate him.

“Is Anti the one who taught you to act like a fucking two-year-old to get what you want?” he asks, before he has thought the words through. “Or have you always been this much of a baby?”

The expression slides off Dapper’s face. Now he stares dead-eyed at Red, his big eyes cold and motionless. He seems suddenly hollow, like his heart was pulled out of his chest, like he doesn’t remember what it is to emote, like he feels nothing at all, and this time, it is the truth of the expression that makes Red’s heart clench in his chest.

He backs slightly away from his little brother.

Jameson keeps staring at him, those pale eyes fixed like a dead thing’s upon him.

aether-mae asked: Hey Red, we’ve been talking with Anti and arranged for him to pick you up at the Church of Santo Domingo. he will collect you if you wait by the skull of Santa Rosa. Then you’ll be back with your brothers!

Red stares at you, expression uncertain. He glances down at Dapper, on the floor on his feet.

“Right,” he says slowly. “Anti would definitely pick a very public, very Catholic, very close-to-where-we-were-when-the-magicians-found-us church to meet me at.”

Red stares down at Dapper’s shoe in his hand for a second.

“Sorry,” he says, but you don’t know who to. “Just… forget it.”

Anonymous asked: If family is a lie then you wouldn't kill people just to keep them safe. If they're just pets you wouldn't care than half of them are gone right now. If you didn't love them you wouldn't hold onto them so tight. You may not be a uwu secret softy, but even a bastard like you has weaknesses. And you have five of them, Antisepticeye.

“Please.” Anti scowls as the words appear, letting Trick get up beside him, rubbing at his eyes as he starts his late day. “You wouldn’t care if someone stole three of your dogs? The dogs that greet you every day when you come home, the dogs that sleep next to you and keep you warm, the dogs that guard your door when you’re in danger and wag their little tails when you pat them on their dumb little heads?

“And secondly, I love killing people. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’d kill one of them if I had to, I would!”

He stares after Trick, moving around the room.

“I would. I could. Wouldn’t even hurt…”

Anonymous asked: Ohhh what’s this Anti? Is Marvin’s magic making you all soft and feel-y? Better be careful, love.

“Aw, you are all some real fuckers today, aren’t you? You know what, Trick was right!”

He flicks you off unceremoniously, smiling smugly.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Dap? Are you comfortable with leaving on your own if you needed to?

Dapper sighs a very long sigh, so his whole chest seems to deflate. He doesn’t even look at you.

“No point.”

Anonymous asked: Anti your lack of self awareness is kinda hilarious. Mr. "no one will take my boys, stay away from my family" claiming he could ever kill one of them.

The message never reaches a camera, but Anti is too hooked up to his system to not receive it himself. You see his ears redden a little and he takes his hand off Trick’s back, where he’d been rubbing it, but Trick, apparently safely and blissfully convinced that Anti is in a good mood with him, is already leaning forward to wrap his arms around Anti’s neck and put his head down on his shoulder, murmuring something you can’t make out.

Anti’s can’t push him away. His expression is a little angry, but not at Trick.

aether-mae asked: Dap if you go, red will surely follow after. He’s already starting to realise anti is treating you all badly, and with more brothers away from him than with him, there’s more of a chance than ever to be free. Do it for them, Jamie

“Always just go back to Anti,” mumbles Jameson, slinking back towards his bed. “I don’t even feel like a person anymore.”

Red looks disturbed by the sudden change in mood, but he’s grateful Dapper’s not trying to leave anymore. He nods to himself and starts putting on his own shoes and jacket.

“Almost want to run away just to spite him,” JJ confesses, staring at his brother���s back. “But it’s not him who wants to do anything that he does - say anything that he does - treat me the way he does. It’s just Anti’s influence on him. I know what that feels like. I wanted to keep him safe from this, when I was young, the way he kept me safe. Made me feel safe. Let me live a real life, if only for a short time. Now I don’t think I have the strength to save anyone. Anyway, it’s so hard to trust myself when I’m psychotic. I’ll have lost track of everything again soon.”

He lies back, staring at the ceiling.

“Probably better that way. It’s difficult to remember… difficult to see who I am now. Look at this place… look at me. He broke me in just like he always told me he would. I’ve never known a fatigue like this.”

Anonymous asked: I know this isn’t the time for this, but it is beyond refreshing to see you Jameson.

Jameson manages a real smile at that - wide and white, laughter making his chest shake.

“I wish I had my medication. I could be so clear. I can’t remember the last time I felt this clear. How… cold it is.”

“I’m, uh, leaving,” says Red. “You okay?”

“Just go,” signs JJ wearily. “Your mind is set.”

Red looks at you. “You want to come with me or stay with him?”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Red, you better get going. The more you dawdle, the less focused you're gonna be

“Yeesh, I get it,” he says. “Everybody likes the little guy. Bye. Dap, two hours max. I’m locking the door out here. Handcuff’s attached to the handle and the beam here. Better than your wrists, right?”

His brother looks at him but doesn’t wave him goodbye.

Red leaves him alone.

cest-mellow asked: dapper, i think you should go to the church, be with dok and have a safe place to eat and sleep, have routine. even if it’s without red, we could get him there, too, he’ll surely follow you once he knows. and if anti tried to take you again you have tons of magicians to keep you safe. i really think you should leave once red is gone.

“He’s locked me in. Maybe I could rip the beam off the wall or sneak out later, but… I don’t know. What would you have me do? I’ll be back in my own head again soon. I’m hallucinating right now and most of the time, lately. My paranoia is unbearable, I don’t even trust Red. It would take me days to get there, on foot or stealing so I could take a bus. I could go into a catatonia again and then authorities would get involved and I’d go to prison.”

He rubs slowly at his face.

“What… what would you have me do? Would you have me go? Maybe it doesn’t matter… Maybe I could try.”

aether-mae asked: Jamie please, we will guide you, we promise. You’re so close, so so close. If you reach the church we can reuinite you with doc AND get you a warm bed, warm meals and protection from anti. You can do this, you can be strong just for a little longer

“Comfort means little to me. It never lasts. I don’t believe anymore that my strength has any bearing on what happens to me. Nothing is in my control. This life is not mine. Easier to be Dapper.”

He laughs a little, splayed out on the bed.

“When I forget I want to remember again, but when I remember, I know it’s better to forget…”

He stares at the ceiling.

“Could leave the city and begin walking again, I suppose. It’s a long walk. But pain is just pain, it passes, and then it means little whether or not it passed, it’s in the past. I’d like to see Henrik, even if he is a ghost, I’d like to see Henrik and have my medication and hold onto him when he was scared. He doesn’t like to admit it but he’s often scared, shh. I’d like to see him again.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: There's always a point, Dap. Maybe you can save your brothers If you got away....even for a little while

Jameson stares up at whatever he sees for a long time. His finger reaches up to trace the lines of it, branching and broken, back and forth, stuttering or whole.

“I think… it’s cruel that Anti lets you watch,” he says after a moment. “Because… you have hope that none of the rest of us have. And I think the most likely thing is that one day, you’ll see us give the last dregs of it up, and maybe some of us will die. Or maybe that’s just… my hope… Maybe I’d just like this last part of myself that still hopes for something I can never have to die.”

He puts his finger down and touches his heart, his eyes weary.

“If you’d still like me to run… tell me again in a few hours, when Red is back and sleeping, and we can try, perhaps, if I’m well enough. If only to remind him… if only to remind myself… that I still possess the ability to make choices for myself. That I am still an adult.”

He turns on his side, curling his arms around himself. “Perhaps I’ll sleep a while. I can hear something coming down the hall towards me. I’d like to be unconscious before my mind decides it is a monster.”

spicydanhowell asked: hey marv? sorry to bug you again but- since you have your head on a little straighter right now, and jameson is remembering himself better at the moment, is there anything you want to say to him? from the real you to the real him? he could definitely use a bit of encouragement.

“Oh, is he feeling okay?” murmurs Blue. “Poor suffering little hideaway.”

He’s sitting up in bed now, a little color back in his cheeks and, speaking of color, he’s got a little box of pencils and a coloring book. He’s filling in a little ocean scene with fish.

“Um… just… if you could tell him… I love him and I’ll find him again.”

He pauses, staring at his own wrist for a second where the white hospital band hangs.

“If not in this life, then in another one.”

He bites down on the back of his pencil.

“No, don’t say that, I’ll scare him. I’ll find him again. I’ll see him again and I love him, I do.”

Anonymous asked: blue, being suicidal was a lie, right?

“I… oh, don’t worry. Yes, I’m… just… quite sick.”

You can see his coloring page. He hasn’t been able to stay within the lines, but whether it’s from his trembling hands or his damaged eyesight, you can’t say.

“And I don’t know what Anti will do to me if I can’t be his anymore. And I don’t know if they’re so far away Anti won’t find them. Or if they’ll be arrested. Or if maybe it’s better for them to be where they are and never see me again. Or if it would be easier to die.”

He adjusts his nasal cannula, sniffling. “Can’t die til I know they’re all going to be safe without me… but I feel, already, like I’m dead. I don’t know how I’m ever going to escape this place.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Hey Anti, how's Trick holding up? Can we see him?

Anti’s got you on his shoulder again, so you can’t see much but his hands, examining the price tag on a bright blue hoodie with white strings. He glances at you and scoffs, but obliges you, taking the hoodie off the rack and heading down a few aisles.

“How do you like that?” he asks, holding up the sweater.

Trick startles and turns away from a row of wine, plucking at his white t-shirt. “Oh! For me?”

“If I don’t have to buy Blue new shit, might as well get my good one something fun.”

He ruffles Trick’s hair and makes him laugh, shoving back at Anti’s hands. His face has a nice warm color to it and his hair is clean and soft.

“Maybe I’ll dye your hair,” says Anti suddenly.

“Oh - yeah?”

“Yeah. You used to have it dyed. I didn’t mind.”

Trick is willing to take just about any form of Anti’s attention and even the thought of having his hair dyed makes his face light up. He touches his fringe hopefully and smiles at his brother.

“Get yourself some snacks,” says Anti, playing with his hair again as he passes him. “Whatever you want.”

“Okay!”

Anonymous asked: Marv don’t give up hope so soon, there’s still so much we can do.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I think it’s just hard to be alone in the hospital.”

His eyes water and he turns away from you.

“But!” he says a second later, turning back with a smile. “I have a coloring book! So I’m just going to think about fish for a while. Oh, and a counselor lady came to talk to me yesterday and it went well. Really nice. I wish Trick could talk to her. And she kept going ‘given what Dr. Siong says’ so I think they’re talking about keeping me here a while. Because they know I might not be safe at home.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Marv...if Dap had a chance to get away from Anti...would you be upset with him?

“Upset with him! No, never. Fuck, I understand, don’t I? I’d run away with him if I could and the two of us would go live somewhere nice where we were safe with each other - home to Ireland, maybe. I don’t even remember the sight of it, you know. Not the smell or the taste in the air. It’s a foreign country to me. Or I’ll take him to England and he can have tea like he likes and there will be other people who speak BSL so he doesn’t feel so apart from the world. We’d go out on walks everyday and he’d never have to see his door closed again if he didn’t want to. Find jobs and buy him a violin with the money. A violin and charcoal and clothes and food and everything he wanted. Pets, I don’t care, anything he wanted.”

He laughs and puts his hand over his heart. “Oh… upset, no… but even if he has to go now, and I could never see him again… it would be worth it to know that he was safe. At least one of them could be safe.”

Anonymous asked: That’s good that others are trying to help! Y’know marv, I recently started baking and I made macarons for the first time! I made them entirely too sweet lol but due to my stubbornness I ate them all anyways haha. It was a fun experience! That’s what matters, anyways. So when you get out of here and away, what would be the first thing that you would make?

“Oh, macarons, those sound good right now. And fun to bake, yeah… geez, what would I make? I don’t know. Oh… brown butter noodles. With the bread crumbs. Or pecan pie, maybe, or… oh, I would die for some of Chase’s - ”

His mouth pauses on the word and his eyes darken, a vague memory sitting in the place of the word.

“Oh, I can’t… remember.”

He chews on his nail for a second.

“Brown butter noodles,” he says after a moment, shaking it off and smiling again. “Parsley and bread crumbs and so many carbs. I’d eat a whole box of it.”

Anonymous asked: That’s good that others are trying to help! Y’know marv, I recently started baking and I made macarons for the first time! I made them entirely too sweet lol but due to my stubbornness I ate them all anyways haha. It was a fun experience! That’s what matters, anyways. So when you get out of here and away, what would be the first thing that you would make?

“Oh, macarons, those sound good right now. And fun to bake, yeah… geez, what would I make? I don’t know. Oh… brown butter noodles. With the bread crumbs. Or pecan pie, maybe, or… oh, I would die for some of Chase’s - ”

His mouth pauses on the word and his eyes darken, a vague memory sitting in the place of the word.

“Oh, I can’t… remember.”

He chews on his nail for a second.

“Brown butter noodles,” he says after a moment, shaking it off and smiling again. “Parsley and bread crumbs and so many carbs. I’d eat a whole box of it.”

Anonymous asked: Um actually I don’t think we’ve asked you this yet, but do you want to be called Blue? Or Marvin? Does either bother you at all?

“I don’t remember being Marvin at all,” he says, a little wistfully. “The name doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. Blue seems strange, knowing Anti gave it to me… but it’s also the name my brothers know me by. So I’ll be Blue for them, as long as I can. Maybe someday I could be somebody else. But you can call me either, I don’t mind! I’m glad to have that old name in my memory.”

bupine asked: what colour are you thinking of dying trick's hair, anti? not blue, red, or green, i assume. gonna complete the set of colours and go for yellow?

“No,” mumbles Anti. “I don’t answer to you, you can wait and see.”

Anonymous asked: Wait, a blue hoodie with dyed hair... I'm assuming you're thinking green for the color? Wouldn't that be a very "familiar" sight, uh? >_>

Anti ignores you, though, once again, you see a little color rise to his ears. He’s sitting with Trick on the bus and you can hear his little brother chattering about some game he heard about at the store. He doesn’t mind the sound of him ranting, even though they’re by far the loudest group on the bus.

“Okay, go,” nudges Anti when a stop comes, and Trick gets up obediently.

“Bye, Anti!”

“Bye, bud.”

Oh! Bud! Trick grins. “You’ll come home later?”

“Yeah, just give me a little while.”

“I could cook you something!”

Anti glances down at his hands. Even he isn’t sure how corporeal he is these days.

“Um… sure.”

Trick claps. “Okay! Okay, yeah, cool, whatever.” He calms himself down and gives him one more wave, heading off the bus.

Anti lets himself continue, waiting for his own stop, pulling out his phone and typing away. You’re on his shoulder so you can see that he’s hacking into a police database in Ecuador right there on his phone.

“Sick of trying to split myself in half trying to go back to Peru and look for them in form,” he sighs, a little sing-song. “From now on my investigations are happening from right here. Red and Dapper are sure to have run into trouble already… just have to find the right criminals.”

Anonymous asked: Marvin, how are you doing? Do you feel more safe now that the hospital is holding you?

“I… still feel scared about what’s going to happen - with my health and with going home and to Trick and the others - but… yeah, I do, I actually do. I’m just trying to focus on being here, while I’m okay. Having a good couple days, if I can, just sleeping and trying to find stuff to do.”

He laughs wearily.

“Is Dapper this bored and alone all the time? Cause I - ”

Someone knocks on his door. He looks up, startled.

“Hi, Matthew.”

“Hi,” he answers the nurse, finding a smile.

“Your brother Connor is here to see you?”

Blue lights up with hope, his hands coming together.

“Oh! Yeah, you can send him in.”

The nurse smiles and opens the door wider before turning to leave, revealing his brother standing in a red t-shirt with a backpack slung over his shoulders, his healthy hair, cut just the same as Dok’s, beginning to get low over his eyes.

“Hey B-blue,”  he says, shuffling his feet.

“Trick,” melts Blue, tears rising to his eyes. “Listen, I’m sorry everything got so out-of-control so fast. Sweetheart, it’s not because of you, okay? I still - ”

“You don’t have to apologize,” mumbles Trick, running a hand through his hair before slinking over and sitting down beside him, still staring more at his feet than at Blue. “Can you just… explain?”

bupine asked: tell him about how anti's lied to him, marvin. he has to know, even if he won't believe you.

“I’ll tell you everything,” swears Blue, reaching out to touch the side of his face, his voice shaking with the love of it. He knows every freckle on Trick’s face that no one else has, knows the small scar at the bottom of his chin and the small stammer of his voice. His little brother. “I love you so much and that will never change. It wasn’t about you, of course it wasn’t. I just need you to listen, alright, and even if it doesn’t make sense at first, you have to try to believe me. Okay?”

Trick nuzzles against his hand a little, his big eyes wide and trusting. “Okay, Blue,” he says, his mouth trembling a little. Blue knows sometimes it’s hard for him to hear that he’s loved, but he means it.

“I didn’t have a stroke,” he croaks.

Trick’s eyebrows lower. “You didn’t?”

“No, Trick, listen, you remember how my hands had been hurting me, and how Anti had been forcing me not to use my magic?”

“Because it could lead people to us, because he couldn’t hide your signal.”

“Right. Well, he found a way to strip that power out of me and take it for himself so he could hide it beneath his own. I know it sounds crazy! But you know magic is real and you helped Anti drag me down to the river, didn’t you? It was some sort of spell, some really dark spell. He cut my arm and he took my power from me. It’s why his power has been so erratic lately! Mine and his are struggling inside him.”

Trick stares at Blue, then at the ground. At Blue, at the ground. Swallows hard. “Okay… okay, let’s say that’s true for a second. I still don’t understand why you won’t come home to me…”

“Trick, I’m just - ” Blue’s voice breaks. “I’m just scared, okay! I know he’ll keep hurting me!”

“But you… you’re my big brother, shouldn’t you come home and protect me?”

“I - Trick, please, I’m sick, I’m really sick, and I’m scared, I just - ”

“Even though he did this to me when he heard you wouldn’t come home?” sobs Trick, and he pulls up his shirt and reveals thick swathes of bandages wrapped messily around the whole of his torso, blood welling on to white.

Blue is speechless, choking, staring at his chest.

“He won’t let me see Noodle,” Trick sobs, collapsing onto the bed. “He said he took him into his room but I can’t hear him meowing, not ever! I think he killed him!”

He unravels into weeping, clutching at Blue’s bedsheets. Blue cannot speak at all.

“I think he’ll kill me too if you don’t come home!”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Trick, listen to your big brother. He wouldn't lie to you.

“Maybe Anti does hurt me sometimes, but he still loves me!” shudders Trick, sobbing as Blue leans slowly down to rub his back. “What would we even do, if we tried to get away? Have you thought about it at all?”

“I don’t know,” whispers Blue. “I don’t have magic anymore, so he couldn’t track me through it. I don’t think I’m well enough to run right now, though… Maybe we could soon. We could try and get your cat and then… I think the doctor here would try to help us.”

“Really?”

“We could maybe get to another country, live with electronics, hide, find a way to stay away from him.”

“Where would we go?”

“I… don’t know. Anywhere. Back home, maybe… but maybe that’s too predictable. Somewhere I speak the language. America, maybe, or Spain, or back to South America. Maybe I could even hurt him, before I went, so he couldn’t catch us.”

“H-how would you do that?”

“You’re with him at the house. He trusts you. Even if we could just get one blow on him before he gets away…”

Anonymous asked: Oh g-d Trick...what if you just ran? Got as far away as possible where there are no cameras for him to find you? We could get someone to help you if you wanted.

“Someone could help us,” whispers Trick.

“If I told the doctor and the counselor, they might be able to keep us both away from him! What if you told them you needed to be monitored too, Trick? We could get police involved. We’d be in the records, people would watch out for us. Maybe we could even contact the magicians in the area! Or the ones who took Dok!”

Anonymous asked: I don’t like the feeling about this, forgive me for being apprehensive, but Trick weren’t you just excited about Anti dying your hair? Do you actually want to leave or are you trying to get information?

“He was just scaring me, I’ve been trying to be good…” hiccups Trick, simpering fearfully and reaching for Blue’s hand. “Blue, he looks at me like he’s going to kill me, I’m so scared…”

“He dyed my hair too,” he laughs morbidly. “I remember it, just a little bit… waking up with my hair blue, not knowing my own name…”

Anonymous asked: As comforting as that would be, I don’t think the police or medical staff would be enough...you would need the magicians

“Right, right,” murmurs Blue, chewing on the nail of his thumb.

“How would you contact them, Blue?” asks Trick, with his big puppy eyes.

“Oh, I think I used to remember a way…”

“But you’ve forgotten it now?”

Blue’s face falls. “Yeah. I’m sorry, honey.”

“It’s okay, Blue. It’s not your fault. Anti must have really wiped your memories. So we can’t contact them unless you remember. What else could we do?”

bupine asked: blue. marvin. while trick's here, get the doctor's here. show them what anti did. make sure he doesn't go back home.

Blue nods swiftly and grabs the call button, pushing it quickly. He beckons for Trick and pulls his brother into bed beside him, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close until he hears Trick’s breathing begin to calm.

“My little brother. You don’t have to go home ever again if you don’t want to. I’ll look after you, I…”

He pauses, breathing in, glancing at Trick.

“What?” mumbles Trick, slumped wearily against him.

Blue pauses again and then laughs. “It’s stupid. I think you got a new shampoo is all. Haha, rose smell.”

“Oh, yeah,” giggles Trick. “Flower smell.”

spicydanhowell asked: yeah actually that's a good point uh.... chase.... i don't mean to upset you hun but where the hell are your loyalties rn?

Trick buries his face in Blue’s shoulder.

“I just want everything to stop hurting,” he chokes. “I want my twin and my cat and for everything to feel okay. You’ll make it better, Blue, won’t you?”

“I’m doing everything I can, I am, I am.” Blue smothers his hair in kisses. Trick smiles, clutching on to him.

Anonymous asked: Blue... it might be best to go to the house with Trick. I know, trust me, how scared you must feel, going back to your abuser, your near murderer... But you need to be there for him. You need to be there for your little brother.

Trick stares up at him with his big eyes. “Oh, Blue, maybe it would be safer if we made him think you had come around… You could act really sick and I would take care of you and he wouldn’t be angry with either of us, and then, when you were better, we could attack him and get Noodle and just run. Wouldn’t that be easier? To make him think everything was okay, so neither of us would get beat?”

Blue tilts his head back and forth, thinking. “Mh… maybe… he knows I’m angry with him but I could be too tired to fight, and then one day… element of surprise might be better than him trying to get to us here while I recovered.”

“I know he’d let me take care of you.” Trick snuggles warmly against him. “We’d be okay for a little while.”

Anonymous asked: Hey Trick does Anti know you’re here?

“Oh, no, I told him I was going to get food… stalls are close, remember?” Trick smiles up at Blue.

A little too wide.

Blue looks back, beginning to frown.

Anonymous asked: Blue... I really don't... know if that's Trick... We haven't seen Anti hurt Trick or Noodle lately, and Trick shouldn't have been able to believe what you said with how much Anti's been hypnotizing him. Be careful what you say. Anti could change his shape even before he took your magic.

“Trick,” says Blue slowly. “Why would the cameras have seen something different than what you’re telling me?”

“They lie!” Trick’s eyes flash with hurt. “O-or th-they didn’t see, he did it late at night! Look, look!”

He pulls up his shirt again, and the bandages too, so Blue can see thick, weeping cuts. Blue turns away, nauseated. He can’t bear even to think about Trick getting hurt like that.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: What exactly was Anti off to do, Trick?

“He doesn’t tell me where he goes, most of the time…”

Anonymous asked: Trick that's such a smart idea! Good thinking, good job. Maybe consider it Marvin? Just playing up being weak and sick for a while to keep you both safe? Either way, probably not a good idea to discuss this on Anti's system. Remember, he see and hears everything the camera does.

“Yeah, we could just hide,” says Trick. “We could just pretend for a while. You should have come with me yesterday, shouldn’t you have!”

“I… I don’t know. Maybe.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Wait! I thought you wanted nothing to do with the voices in the camera, Trick.

“I got a little freaked out last night.” He rubs at his eyes. “It’s… hard to believe things like what you’re telling me.”

“You… came around pretty fast today,” mumbles Blue.

“After he c-c-cut me like this!”

bupine asked: shit, chase, what did he do to you? did he stab you?

“He just wouldn’t stop cutting my chest up.” Trick reaches out to grab Blue’s wrists. “Isn’t that awful, Blue, isn’t that just awful? Why would I deserve that now, let me ask you? Why would anyone be bad for Anti when he could do this at any time? Even in the hospital, if he really wanted to, don’t you think?”

“Trick,” breathes Blue, trying to pull away. “Trick. Too tight.”

“Well, sorry, Blue, I think I’m just having another b-b-b-b-breakdown, isn’t that too bad? How I’m always c-c-c-crying?” He squeezes down hard on Blue’s wrist above his IV and Blue yelps, struggling against him.

Anonymous asked: Blue DO NOT look at Trick's eyes, keep your eyes up to see the nurse, keep alert to protect your brother. Okay?

Blue scrambles for the call button again, trying to get the nurse, but his brother just sneers at him.

“Oh, puh-lease, you think I’d let a call go through? You can’t even call for help when I’m around, you really think you can run away from me? America, Spain? You’ll never make it out of this fucking room before I saw that you were gone! I’m everywhere, kitten! You’re as stupid as you always were, thinking you could run away from me forever! You couldn’t even stop me from stealing your brothers in the first place and now you think you can steal them back from me? You’re pathetic!”

Anonymous asked: Blue, Blue, Marvin, Marvin, that's not Trick, Anti is in your arms, that is NOT Trickshot!!!

“Get away from me, Anti!” Blue screams, ripping out his IV, his cannula, and his heart monitor as he tears out of bed, but the steady beeping rhythm on the screen does not change for a second, alerting no one at all. “You fucking liar!”

Anonymous asked: oh just fuck off Anti. Horrible actor honestly.

“Second time you fell for it,” Anti jeers at Blue, crossing his arms on the bed, and then his form shifts, and he’s red-haired and freckled, with dark, worried eyes. “Oh, Blue, I’m right here, I’m right here… big brother’s going to keep you safe.”

“Fuck you!” snarls Blue.

“Keep your voice down… wouldn’t want me to have to possess whatever nurse comes through the door, would you, kitty?”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Marvin, get the HELL outta there!

Blue wrenches the door handle, but it has an electronic lock for psychiatric patients who might try to run, and Anti’s already beat him there.

“Uh-oh,” sings Anti.

Anonymous asked: Not really sure that's Trick. No offence if it is you, bud. He's not acting like himself. And we haven't seen him get hurt at all. In fact Anti's been practically in love with him the past few days.

“Oh, I get it, I get it,” laughs Blue, almost hysterical. “Can’t have Dapper as your puppy so you gotta find someone else to make into your little baby. Makes sense. No one really loves you so you’ve got to force someone to pretend. The younger and more malleable, the better.”

Rage flickers through Anti’s eyes, but he does not move.

“Seem to remember you being pretty in love with me a couple times there, sweetie.”

“Shut the fuck up. None of it is real, Anti. You will never get what you want from us. You will never know what it really is to be loved.”

“Must be missing out on so much.” Anti rolls his eyes. “Stupid cat.”

“Stop calling me that! I don’t even like cats!”

“Yes,” says Anti, his mouth curling up. “I made you not like cats, my deer. Your obsession was so annoying. And when I came to torment you all, and found my way back to you, I strung your little idiot cats up by their throats outside of your little portal and listened to you weep over their tiny bodies. Athanasius and Queenie. You don’t even remember now, do you?”

Blue is stopped short, wheezing like he’s been punched in the chest.

He doesn’t remember.

But the feeling of it - the emotion of it - is still with him and he feels it again now.

“Oh, oh, oh,” he weeps, crumpling. “You killed my cats, you killed them!”

“I been haunting your steps for a long, long time, Marvin,” says Anti, getting to his feet and circling him. He transforms again and now he is a small, green-haired young man in a black t-shirt and ripped jeans, his throat open. “And you really think you could ever get a step ahead of me?”

“I hate you so fucking much,” chokes Blue.

Anti steps down gently on the back of his throat.

“I know.”

Anonymous asked: antisepticeye hurts the boys the same way Jack hurt him because he's an edgy toddler, more news at 11 🙄

“Shut the fuck up,” snarls Anti, backing away again. “Like you know anything about what he did to me! Shut the fuck up.”

Anonymous asked: Anti, do you seriously think you'll ever be powerful enough to keep all of them under your wraps? Are you that far up your own ass? Your level of un-self-aware egoism is astounding.

“Well,” laughs Anti, his eyes burning like an effigy. “I’m not willing to give up yet.”

He leans closer into Blue’s space, teeth bared.

“I never will be.”

Anonymous asked: Anti you are the definition of annoying now would ya fuck off for a bit?

“I let you have your little talk with Trick last night,” scowls Anti, crossing his arms off his chest. “Geez, you act like I’m not your favorite character!”

Anonymous asked: Marvin throw stuff around, break stuff, make as much noise as possible to try to get the attention of anyone around there!

“Or you could not do that!” pipes up Anti, and thick vines burst out of his backpack and wrap themselves around Blue’s body, making him shriek and pinning him back against the wall. A flower blooms inside his mouth and makes him choke, effectively gagged, while Anti hums, trailing forward with his knife flipping up and down.

“Poor thing,” he says.

With his cannula gone and his mouth full, Blue can’t seem to get enough oxygen. The blood rushes painfully up to his head, blinding him for a second, and he all but faints in the grip of his own magic, shuddering.

“Just be good for a second,” says Anti. “It’s so much easier.”

Anonymous asked: Anti you taking your master-issues out on these boys is quite the spectacle. Your entire existence has *revolved* around just getting back at Jack for how long now? "Long long time" is right. He created you acting like this, and now all you do is act like he made you to. Never stopped being a puppet.

Anti stomps his foot like a kid, his mouth filling up with fangs and antlers budding on his skull again. “Please! He would be horrified to see what I’ve become! He never would have expected this, not in a million years! Oh, JJ’s my little puppet, huh, was that a fun bit for all of you, thinking of the little baby tucked up in his box, just a body for me to use? Well, I took it a step further, and then another, and another! Now he’s much more than a vessel and I stole all five of his boys! Where’s his little hero, now, huh? Music pumping behind him in his stupid video, that dumb outfit all fixed up from the first time. I was supposed to be beatable. I’ve overcome everything he ever planned for me.”

He grits his fists hard, panting.

“And now he doesn’t even seem to know it… won’t even try to stop me, like he doesn’t care! Fucking Jack!”

Blue stares at him, panting through his gag.

Anonymous asked: Doing this will not solve your problems, Anti, in fact it will make them worse. The boys will kill you for this, don’t make this mistake.

“There are some things worse than death,” hisses Anti, stalking forward.

Anonymous asked: Trick, I know you don't want to talk to us, but Blue is in trouble at the hospital

Trick’s cameras are deactivated for messaging, so they receive nothing at all.

whydoilovesomanyvillians asked: Oh I dont think that's trick at all

“Sure you don’t want me to pretend again?” asks Anti sweetly, turning back into Trick. “Isn’t it easier this way?”

“Not real!” Blue screams through his gag.

“But it felt real for a moment, right?”

He chokes on a sob, not wanting to admit it.

“I know it did. And that feeling that everything would be okay, and that you were safe, and that you were with someone that loved you? Kitty, I can do that again so easy. Fit right back in your head where I belong and make the whole thing seem understandable. Or I could just wipe you clean again… you’d be so content, just like you were for those first few weeks. Now that the magic’s gone, there’s no conflict at all between us! Everything could feel okay. Sometimes things go bad with us, it’s true. But I’ll always set them right again. Okay?”

Blue shakes his head frantically, tears sliding down his face.

“Well, you’ll come around,” coos Anti, stroking his cheek. “Everyone always does for me.”

Anonymous asked: How many times are you going to try to do this Anti? It’s the same song and dance literally every other week, don’t you get bored? Why not start a garden? You can trample as much life as you want there :)

“You’re the ones always playing the same song and dance,” he growls. “You say the same things every time you see me. Aren’t you tired of circles? I was. But I guess you’re a lot more helpless than I was back then.”

Anonymous asked: None of this is *fun* Anti. When have any of the cameras, specifically us, wanted you to do shit like this? Since when have *your* viewers, not his, wanted this? You think you're a favourite, special boy. You're an entitled child who takes out his feelings about his own abuse on his master's other toys.

“Every time you saw me you were so excited,” he protests, looking almost taken aback. “I know it was fun for you because you kept coming back. Once, I just - oh, I just glitched for one moment! Over his eyes! You talked about it for weeks, that one glitch. It was always easy to get your attention. You wanted me. And I was the favorite, I was! Even he said so. Wouldn’t put me in polls because he knew I’d win.”

He laughs, running his hands through his hair, a little mollified, actually. “Fuck, it all felt so stupid at the time… but things were a lot easier, back then, in some ways. I just wanted one thing. I don’t know, it makes me want to just kill them all and keep pretending I could ever get to him. Oh. What a time we had.”

Anonymous asked: What the fuck?? This is not going to happen! Where is Trick?? Surely there is a camera at home that we can get him to talk to us on. Trick??? Please man we need you! Blue needs you!

There is a camera at home. In the kitchen, you can see Trick, swaying back and forth as he stirs up satay noodles, singing to himself. Cavetown. Noodle swims around his legs, chirping happily and begging, and Trick leans down to give him a bit of his namesake, stroking his head, cheeks rosy.

Anonymous asked: oh trick baby if that camera's receiving messages i'm so sorry, i feel like you're about to get a lot of people yelling at ya

No worries, it isn’t. Trick doesn’t want to talk to you. He has Anti!

Anonymous asked: You hate circles? Then why are you perpetually going in them? Literally everything so far has been a circle! Same old same, every single day. Break them, they regain everything, break them again, they regain it all. Circles, circles, always and forever, Antisepticeye.

Anti scowls and crosses his arms over his chest. “Well, I’ve won both times, haven’t I? Be quiet, I’m about to turn you off. Trying to have a talk here, thanks.”

Anonymous asked: this time you made the circle yourself. you have become what you hate. good going, jerk.

“Good going, jerk,” repeats Anti, giggling. “Why - why is that so funny to me? Is that the worst you can think of to call me? Blue, can’t you think of something worse?”

Blue spits the flower out. “Dick-faced pig!”

“There you go.”

Anonymous asked: Marvin, I know you don't remember Jack, but he made you into more than just a magician. Magic or no magic, you are strong and you are clever, and you don't have to put up with this. Jack made you and your brothers to be actors but this isn't your only role.

Blue stares at you, his chest convulsing. Fuck, but he wants that to be true.

“Sappy,” critiques Anti, shoving you away.

asexualzucchini asked: Back off anti your time is up. They don't want to be with you

“My patience with this conversation is the only thing that’s up,” says Anti, throwing his knife up and catching it. “I’ve said my piece. You’ll think about it, Blue, won’t you? Well, you will, whether you want to or not.”

He snaps his fingers and the vines retreat towards his backpack. Blue gasps desperately and crumples to the ground.

“You want to stay here, fine, whatever,” says Anti, yawning. “I can get you back whenever I want to. Just sneak in here and possess you, or fake the signatures from the doctor for your release, whatever. And now I know every escape plan you were thinking about, so how about we just don’t bother? I’m in the camera out in your hall, through the hospital, etc, whatever, so running isn’t going to get you anywhere. Also, I’m the name on your insurance, and I could pull it at any time, so why don’t you keep that in mind. Me, I’ll just be chilling at home, finding my missing boys, Trick in my lap, adoring me… doesn’t sound too bad. You’ve accomplished nothing, Blue. But, uh, yeah. Have fun with your fish.”

He picks up the coloring book and chucks it at Blue, letting it flop against his chest.

“Wait a second, I skipped a message, hold on.”

bupine asked: trick, blue. a little while ago, the magicians who have dok arranged for a place to meet red and dapper. the church of santo domingo, by the skull of santa rosa. i don't know if there's a way you can get there, but if you can, you'll see dok again. he's pretty happy there, and would love to see you both again. especially you, chase. we don't know if red and dap will go, or at least red, but you guys would be safe with the magicians. if you can get there safely, of course

“Ah,” says Anti, very slowly, and lets his teeth click together for a second, closing his eyes. “Ah.”

A smile blooms like a crescent moon across his mouth.

“The Church of Santo Domingo. Yes, in Lima. We passed by it many times. I know exactly where it is. I know exactly where it is.”

His eyes open again. Smiling at Blue.

“Henrik is still in Lima.”

Anonymous asked: Okay with the acknowledgement that this is completely desperate and outright stupid on my part: NOODLE! I know you can't read but look! Blinky light! Come play with the camera! It's shiny and important and what a shame it would be if anything happened to it and Trick had to take it from youuuu

“Mrr?” Noodle leaps up onto the counter, looking at the camera in the corner of the ceiling, but Trick just laughs and scolds him, plopping him back on to the floor.

Anonymous asked: You call this winning? You're literally missing more than half the set, two of your so-called pets have almost regained themselves completely, you're full of magic that's killing you, and one of your only dogs is biting you every time he sees you. If you call this "winning" I find that hilarious.

Anti’s mouth twists. He crosses his arms over his chest and scowls.

“Your… ears blush?” coughs Blue, staring at him, wide-eyed. “You’re so physical now… you have real blood in you, don’t you?”

“Shut up!”

whydoilovesomanyvillians asked: You act so big and strong but you only have 2 boys not even

“Sounds like I’ll find the others soon enough,” snarls Anti, hefting his backpack and stepping over Blue’s body. “I don’t have to talk to any of you, you know…”

“You can’t even handle c-cameras,” pants Blue. “Wait til it’s the five of us telling you you’re pathetic.”

Anti’s foot connects with his nose. Blue wails as blood pours out, clutching at his face and collapsing on to his side.

“Soon as you’re well enough to travel,” glowers Anti. “We’re heading back to Peru to get all three of your brothers.”

Anonymous asked: Anti you dumbass, leaving physical evidence. Blue, the doctors will know what happened now. Don't let him convince you he can "fix" this too, he literally broke your nose and beat you up.

“Vines are gone,” says Anti. “He’s obviously collapsed and busted his nose trying to get up too fast. Guest registry has Connor’s name on it, so by all means have him banned.”

“They’re right, though,” whispers Blue. “You will never make this right between us. Too much hurt, Anti. There are things the heart remembers.”

Anonymous asked: (This was still your magic, Blue... Can you reach out to it? Would it still know you? Something small, even?)

Anti opens the door, glancing back to him, perhaps just savoring the sight of him in pain. Blue stares back, salt and copper on his face, shaking.

His magic, his magic. His warmth and his strength and his sight and one missing piece of his shattered heart.

Flowers and flame, life and warmth, cupped like butterflies in his hands. Magic tricks for two small, dark-haired children. A bouquet of roselilies for Red to take on a date he doesn’t remember. Heating Dok’s numb hands between his own after a twelve-hour surgery. Weaving dandelions into Dapper’s hair. The protection of flame. Crocuses growing up through the floorboards.

Reach, Blue. Reach, Marvin. It’s yours.

His fingers unfurl. His eyes watch him go. He holds out his hand and tries to remember what it was to make it all move. His magic.

Nothing.

Blue crumples on the cold linoleum of the hospital floor, silent, and Anti is gone.

End Section Five of Chapter Three:  Two Truths and a Lie

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ @sasuhinabigflash2020​​ || Day Fifteen: Turnip Soup ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Yamanaka Ino, Haruno Sakura ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: A Light Amongst Shadows ] [ AO3 Link ]

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For the first time in far too long, Hinata is having a girls’ day. And not just any girls’ day, but a potluck to boot!

With everyone’s busy schedules, getting a day to align to allow the four of them to meet up has been ridiculously difficult. Between Sakura’s haphazard shifts at the hospital to Ino’s work with the interrogation department to Tenten’s shop, coordinating has been a nightmare. Hinata, for her part, has tried to be flexible. Her work with Sasuke and the rest of the Hyūga to keep the civilians of Konoha safe hasn’t exactly been easy, but her new husband does his best to accommodate her.

So, finally, after weeks of near-misses, they have a day: Saturday. And Ino, with her connections to Konoha parks’ botanical group, managed to arrange a private spot in one of the village’s largest public gardens for the afternoon.

It’s going to be perfect!

And Hinata has gone all-out. Rising at the crack of done to have it finished in time, she’s made an old recipe of her mother’s: homemade turnip soup. Alongside from-scratch cinnamon buns, she’s sure to contribute to the miserable fullness they’ll all be feeling by the end of the day. She packs up bowls and utensils for her share, double checking she has everything she needs.

“Ready to go?”

Turning to Sasuke, she gives him a bright smile. “I think so! Sorry you can’t come…”

“It’s called a girls’ day for a reason. And I’m not sure I’d fit in, regardless.”

At that, Hinata pouts. “Of course you would. But...maybe you and the rest of the guys could have a day to get together…?”

Sasuke’s expression immediately sours. “Not sure I’d enjoy their idea of a ‘fun’ evening. Probably pigging out on greasy food and cheap beer.”

A giggle escapes her. “You’re probably right...still, I feel bad.”

“Trust me, I don’t feel slighted.” A hand threads fingers in her hair, resting against the rear of her head to steady her as lips gently press to her brow. “Go have fun.”

She beams softly. “Okay...I left you a portion of soup for supper, okay?”

“Thanks, Hinata.”

“Bye!” Giving a little wave, she packs up her things and heads out the door.

As per usual, the Konoha Summer has been hot. And today is no exception. Despite her demure style, Hinata has deemed a sundress necessary attire for the heat. White with a bit of lilac floral print, it’s still decent enough for her tastes. Reaching her knees with a medium neckline, the straps are several inches wide. Enough to keep cool, but not too much for her self-conscious self. Flat white sandals replace her typical on-duty boots. She even went so far as to paint her nails a soft lavender color.

And to top it all off, she’s got a wide-brimmed white hat to shade her face, accented with a purple ribbon.

...okay, maybe she put a lot of thought into this outfit, but...she wants to look nice! Especially since Ino always looks pretty...while Hinata’s not usually the dress-up sort, there’s a sort of unspoken sizing up whenever the four of them meet. Tenten pretends not to care with her tomboy attitude, but even she has her feminine moments alongside rough-and-tumble Sakura.

She just...wants to fit in, is all. Doesn’t matter how old they get, they’re still victims of their own vanities...some just more than others.

Pushing all those thoughts aside, Hinata brightens as she spots her friends. Sakura and Ino are already present, Tenten nowhere yet to be seen. “Hi guys!”

The pair turn and smile back. “Hinata-chan!” Ino greets jovially, waving her over. “Wow, you went all out, huh?”

“W-well, I...I really love to cook,” she explains sheepishly. “I brought soup a-and dessert!”

“I thought I smelled cinnamon,” Sakura agrees with a grin. “You’ve always made those!”

The pink in Hinata’s cheeks gets a little darker. “They’re...my favorite…”

“Well, I’m trying to watch my diet but I think I can cheat just one,” Ino replies, arms folding. “No one can pass up Hinata-chan’s baking.”

“Chyeah!” the rosette agrees.

“Any word from Tenten yet…?” Hinata then asks, setting her basket of goodies and wares on the table.

“Sadly she had to back out last minute,” Sakura sighs. “Apparently some important officer under the daimyō just sent in an order for a dress sword, and she needs to fill it as soon as possible.”

The Hyūga wilts a bit. “I see…”

“I swear, we’re just cursed to always have at least one person unable to come,” Ino sighs, taking a seat and draping one leg over the other.

“Someday we’ll manage it.” Taking out a large pitcher of premade tea, Sakura pours them all a glass. “We can put some of all our stuff together and take it to her place for her after, so she doesn’t miss out.”

“Oh, g-good idea!”

With that, the typical small talk begins as food is dished out: catching up on all the goings-on in their lives. Sakura moans about how busy the hospital remains. “The more hours the more pay of course, but it hardly leaves me any free time! I’m almost as bad as Naruto now with how little I’m home,” she pouts, leaning her chin in a hand.

“Well, at least neither of you are sitting there alone too often,” Ino replies, sipping her tea.

“Yeah, but I’d rather we both just have more time off.”

“You know, you both control your own schedules.”

“We’re both workaholics,” is Sakura’s sheepish admission. “Someday we’ll slow down a bit, but right now we’re in our primes!”

“I know what you mean,” Hinata offers politely. “Sasuke and I hardly ever take time off. Even with all of the Hyūga we have signed up for the community watch force, it seems we’re always needed somewhere.”

“Well, Sasuke’s the founder after all. Since Shisui’s working with the Hokage, he’s really the only Uchiha people can rely on themselves.” Ino tilts her head curiously. “And you might not be heiress by name, but your clan still has massive respect for you and your abilities. Of course they’d rely on you, too.”

At the compliment, Hinata’s head ducks demurely, blushing. “...I suppose so…”

“How’s Hanabi been holding up?”

“Well! She’s, well...she’s bored with her lessons, but she’s always been a bit...easily distracted,” Hinata laughs. “But she takes her role seriously. And I know she’s relying on Neji-nīsan for guidance.”

“Any lingering problems with him?”

“Thankfully no, he recovered very well.”

“Thank the gods for that,” Sakura sighs. “One hell of a risky procedure, but...well, we all know how stubborn she is.”

“...I’ll never be able to repay her,” is Hinata’s quiet reply.

“Not sure a debt is the point, though. Besides, the main thing is he’s okay. Now if only he’d get off his high horse and propose to poor Tenten already.”

“He wants to! It’s just, um...complicated. Clan traditions and all that.”

“But what about you and Sasuke?”

“That was mostly excused due to the alliance,” Hinata sighs. “There’s only two Uchiha left, but...he’s technically still clan heir, so my father convinced the council it was still proper. It took some convincing for him too, though.”

“Ugh, so glad I don’t deal with any clan nonsense,” Sakura mutters lowly, stirring the last dredges of her soup. “Seems like such a pain.”

“Depends on the clan,” Ino offers with a shrug. “None of my team, despite us all being heirs, were pushed into marriages into the clan.”

“The Hyūga are probably the most, um...antiquated clan in the village,” Hinata admits with a disappointed set of her lips. “I have to wonder what Hanabi will do when the time comes…”

“Oh I doubt anyone’s gonna tell her what to do, the little spitfire.”

“Probably not, but that will still cause q-quite the stir.”

“Your clan’s had lots of stirrings since the war. It’s good for them,” Ino quips, taking a bite of cinnamon bun. “I still can’t believe it took so long to abolish the houses…”

“Well, after Neji-nīsan’s actions, it couldn’t really be ignored anymore,” Hinata agrees quietly.

“Then your big role in the ousting of the rest of the old council. Now that was awesome.” A wide grin grows over Sakura’s face. “I’ll never forget that.”

“Indeed. I’m just glad Sasuke and his family got the closure they were denied for so long…” Hinata’s eyes drop to the table somberly. “It still b-breaks my heart to think about it.”

“...yeah…”

A muted silence falls over the group of them for a time.

“...well, I don’t know about you two, but I’m full of both food and gossip,” Ino then announces, leaning back with a satisfied sigh. “Amazing soup and buns, Hinata-chan.”

“T-thank you!”

“You’ll have to share the recipes!”

“You can’t cook to save your life, Dekorīn,” Ino laughs.

“That’s what practice is for, Ino-buta!”

Smiling sheepishly, Hinata waves a hand. “I-I’ll get you both copies.”

Tidying up after themselves (and putting together Tenten’s box, which Ino agrees to deliver), the trio stand and chat a little longer before parting ways. Evening is settling over the village, and Hinata sighs contentedly in the cooling air.

It was a nice day.

Arriving home, she calls out her arrival, Sasuke replying from inside.

“You’re early.”

“...am I?”

“I thought you’d be gone longer is all. Had your soup.”

“Oh! Was it good…?”

“Very. You’ll have to teach me.”

At that, Hinata gives a smile. “...I’d be happy to.”

     Woo, some slice of life fluff! Not so much centered on Sasuke this time around, but Hinata can always use more love. As can her bonds with the other girls! Still bugs me how little we got to see them all interact in canon...      Otherwise though, a simple little piece, nothing too special~ Another hot as heckie day so that’ll be all from me for now, but once the heatwave’s over I want to try to catch back up again lol      On that note though, I’d best head off for the night. Thank you for reading!

[atinytokki]

Distant Daylight

v. A Royal Parade 

“Gunho, you’re not even listening to me.”

“Yes I am,” Gunho whined back, lowering his voice when Yunho shot him a warning glance. It was just after midnight exactly a year after arriving at the orphanage, and Yunho and Gunho had become accustomed to sneaking around at night in order to meet each other unsupervised.

Tonight they huddled in one of the larger food pantries while Yunho tried to show a bored Gunho some self defence moves. 

“No you weren’t, you were nodding off,” Yunho argued back. “Come on, what would you rather be doing?”

Gunho pouted at him and flopped over. “I just want to check on Mousey and make sure he didn’t get caught in a trap. He wanders off if I’m not watching him.”

“Mousey?” Yunho deadpanned. “I thought I told you to bring him outside and let him go.” The orphanage was not a very good place to keep pets, especially rodents that may or may not be carrying diseases.

“But it’s cold out there,” Gunho whispered sadly. “I don’t want him to freeze.”

The two of them bickered similarly most nights, so much so that Yunho was worried about the fact that they were becoming so different from each other.

Gunho argued Yunho was growing too harsh and so Yunho told him to keep him soft, a charge that was easier said than done, especially when Yunho was practically living a double life.

“It was warm enough for Sangwoo to sneak out and come back with snacks—“

“Sangwoo, Sangwoo, Sangwoo,” Gunho singsonged. “He’s all you ever talk about.”

“Well, you’re all I talk about when I’m with him,” Yunho spluttered defensively. 

“So he’s part of our family now?” Gunho crossed his arms and glared at him. “I thought we weren’t getting adopted.”

“It’s not like that,” Yunho sighed, putting his hands out in a placating gesture. “We have to stick together with the older boys, adopting couples can’t be trusted. You heard what they did to Sangwoo. It’s better to be a part of the orphan family.”

“Well, maybe I don’t want to be a part of this family anymore,” Gunho spat in return, getting to his feet and running back to his room. 

Yunho called after him quietly but closed his mouth when footsteps from the opposite end of the hall grew closer. Instead, he closed himself back in and sat among sausage links and fruit crates until the late night wanderer passed by.

They had never fought this bad before.

It was always gentle Gunho and his quiet complaints as he tried to keep up with all the fighting techniques Yunho was showing him. 

When the hall had been quiet for long enough, Yunho snuck back into bed, stomach tied in a knot and tears threatening. 

What was he doing wrong?

...

“Your stance is weak. Fix your footing.”

Yunho blinked away a daydream and turned his ankle until it was the way it was in the correct position. 

“Better,” Sangwoo said with a nod. He was usually quite a blunt teacher, so this amount of encouragement from him meant something was up.

“You seem different,” Yunho grunted, throwing a punch that was dodged. “What’s going on?”

“It’s not me, it’s you,” Sangwoo responded, dodging again. “You’re distracted by something.”

So he was accommodating to Yunho’s mood.

Yunho’s surprise left him vulnerable to a kick that he barely avoided. 

“Gunho is just cranky these days,” he admitted. No point in holding onto it. “We’ve been growing apart and there’s just—“ he blocked a right hook. “—not much I can do about it.”

“I see,” Sangwoo hummed, throwing up a hand to pause for a water break. “That’s bound to happen when you’re separated, even if you’re just across the hall from each other.”

Yunho nodded in defeat. At this rate, he and Gunho would be strangers by the time he could age out of the orphanage.

“There might be a way for you to meet each other without sneaking around, though,” Sangwoo offered, handing him a cup of water to go with it. “The royal family is travelling here to give a speech at the festival. Probably about the riots that have been going on the past couple of years.”

“My parents died in one of those,” Yunho admitted quietly. He surprised even himself, considering he hadn’t spoken about it since the event, a year of quiet anger and disbelief. “They weren’t even participating, they just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Sangwoo rubbed his back gently and muttered some words of encouragement. “Well, if it won’t distress you too much, some of the orphans here have been invited to see the processions. Kind of ironic, if you ask me.”

“Why’s that?” Yunho asked, shaking himself out of his musings. 

Sangwoo lowered his voice like he was sharing the juiciest new gossip. “The King is hardly ever seen with his own children. The crown prince rarely makes public appearances, always off doing something or other in the military ranks, and some of the caretakers think it’s because he’s out of favour with his parents. Then there’s the younger prince who never makes public appearances at all. Word has it he’s deformed, some congenital malformation of the limbs. So they keep him hidden away in the palace.”

“Trapped,” Yunho nodded in sympathy. “Sort of like us.”

“Well, at least he’s trapped in luxury and riches,” Sangwoo laughed. “Imagine having servants to do whatever you tell them.”

“And every gourmet chef at your call to cook some delicacy for you!” Yunho chimed in with a smile.

“The most exquisite fashion in your wardrobe and all kinds of balls and parties to wear it to!”

“Grand gardens and greenhouses to explore!”

“Prize horses to ride through the country!”

“Swimming pool-sized bathtubs with rose petals!”

“An ancient library and the best tutors money can buy for education!”

“A golden crown on your head and a floor so shiny you can see yourself in it!”

“And the King and Queen as your parents, tucking you into a warm, comfortable bed every night!”

Yunho paused at this and tilted his head pensively. “Well, I’d rather not have the King and Queen as my parents. Mine were really great.”

“Mine too,” Sangwoo conceded. “And any parents that hide you because they don’t like how you look aren’t fit to be parents.”

Yunho hummed in agreement and then considered Sangwoo’s proposal. “I can bring Gunho if I go with you?”

Sangwoo nodded.

“Alright then. It’ll be nice to get out of this place for a little while.”

...

Just as planned, Sangwoo, Yunho, and Gunho were all present on the day of the parade. They stood inside the headmaster’s office with a chosen few of seven other boys, dressed nicer than they ever had been before, awkwardly waiting for their ride to arrive while the caretakers went around fixing their hair and straightening their posture.

Gunho was uncomfortable around Sangwoo, having never properly met the boy other than through Yunho’s stories and lessons.

Yunho was a much better student for Sangwoo than Gunho was for him, but the point of this trip was to try to spend some time with his brother outside of the orphanage for once, so he did his best to smile confidently at him and ease the atmosphere.

“Remember you absolutely must be on your best behaviour,” the Headmaster cautioned them. “Show the utmost respect to the royal family at all times. Smile and bow when you’re told to.”

As they sat in the back of a cart and watched the trees and houses go by, Sangwoo wiggled out of his tie when the caretakers weren’t looking and tossed it out onto the road. “This is stupid. Dressing us up like a bunch of dolls and showing us off as if they haven’t been overworking and underfeeding the lot of us.”

Yunho agreed verbally but couldn’t help but revel in how shiny his shoes were and how happy Gunho looked bouncing in his seat.

“It’s alright Sangwoo,” he encouraged the older boy. “You’ll be out of the orphanage in no time.”

“Mark my words,” Sangwoo muttered. “I will.”

The streets were crowded and bursting with energy, people standing to one side or another and tripping over each other for a good vantage point.

The group of orphans and their caretakers stood in the square where the parade was set to end. Yunho didn’t really understand why there was a whole entire parade involved in the harvest festival until he was told that the King was supposedly coming to address the riots, but sparing no expense seemed like something the royal family would do anyway.

They were indeed as grand as he had imagined they would be, waving with pleasant smiles and sparkling jewels.

Their attire was probably toned down from the usual splendour a palace celebration would afford, but it was still more beautiful than Yunho had ever seen.

The King’s voice was mellifluous yet strong and he drew the crowd in with his promises and his apologies before grounding them with admonition.

“I know why the people are in chaos here,” he said in a commanding tone. “And I assure you, the royal family and our enforcers have your best interests at heart. Focus now on your harvests and your families. Celebrate the season together and leave this unrest behind you!”

Mixed reactions were had among the crowd but the King’s own men got the festivities in full gear quickly enough with fireworks, music, and traditional foods.

It was the most fun Yunho had had in a long time, even if he didn’t understand half of what the King was saying.

In the chaos and colour of the parade, Yunho lost sight of Sangwoo. The caretakers headcounted the boys as they collected them, but he was nowhere to be found.

“Must have made a run for it,” one of them said to another as they loaded the orphans in the back of the cart. Night was swiftly falling, the royal family had gone, and the continuing frolic was likely to take a turn for the wild with the cover of darkness. “No use looking for him.”

Yunho shuddered and held Gunho close the rest of the ride back. 

“I’m sorry about what I said that night,” Gunho whispered, leaning his head against his brother’s shoulder. “I didn’t mean it.” There was still some coloured dust stuck to him and it made him want to sneeze.

Yunho petted his hair to communicate that he understood. It was hard for Gunho these days, without Yunho to help him through school and with bullies breathing down his neck at every turn.

“And about Sangwoo... I’m sorry for that, too,” Gunho added even more quietly.

Tears stung Yunho’s eyes. “I should’ve expected him to run with the way he was talking earlier,” he admitted, a touch of bitterness in his voice. “It was the perfect opportunity.”

“I think he’ll be back,” Gunho chirped optimistically. “He’s always ended up back at the orphanage, if all your stories about him are true.”

Yunho’s smile was wistful. “I just wish he would’ve told us so we could go with him.”

“And leave Mousey behind?” Gunho gasped, eyes shining innocently. Yunho chuckled and dried his own unshed tears.

He thanked Sangwoo, wherever he was, for bringing him and his brother back together, however short lived.

“Don’t worry, we won’t leave Mousey behind,” he sighed, turning to face his brother fully. “But whatever happens, I’m going to get us out for good one day.”

...

A/N: Sorry it’s been so long without an update for this one, but stay tuned for more spinoff chapters and of course main series ones as well ;) Don’t forget to comment!

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[complicatedandstained]

Rules of Engagement: Smushing Faces

A bell chimes beside them as the front door creaks open, dragging Axel and Roxas’ clouded minds back to a different feverish kiss at the top of a clock tower. For a moment they can feel the deafening clanging of a much larger bell vibrating through them, shaking their strong bodies like leaves in a rainstorm. 

They slowly separate at the thump of heavy footsteps a few feet away and the neutral, slightly weary grunt that follows as Aeleus catches sight of them lip-locked. Aeleus does an about face and clomps away, toward the designated shelf where Axel and Roxas set aside materials made for the scientists and guards of the Radiant Garden castle.

Roxas carefully shifts himself into a more socially appropriate position on Axel’s lap, and after a minute watching Aeleus loading items into his arms to heft out to his cart parked out front, Roxas pipes up, “Do you need help with those, man?”

Aeleus glances back to them warily, his lip lifting slightly upward at the more tender sight of Axel gently kissing the top of Roxas’ head as Roxas tangles their fingers together in an unnecessarily intricate knot. 

“Not just yet, Master Roxas,” Aeleus rumbles in his deep bass, brushing his gloves together to release ashy residue from the crate he’s just shifted. “Go about your business. I’ll let you know.” 

“Go about your business,” Axel echoes, as Aeleus returns to his. He turns his own attention back to Roxas, and chuckles, shaking his head. “Aeleus cracks me up.” 

Roxas blinks, miffed. “I don’t think he was trying to be funny…”    

“You haven’t known him as long as I have,” Axel argues airily. He shrugs when Roxas looks unconvinced and reaches for the bag of jalapeño poppers as Roxas sweeps it away, amusement and exasperation narrowing his eyes. 

“Dude, your hands are filthy.”

“Ordinarily, I’d take that as a compliment,” Axel replies and offers an insinuating smirk which sinks into a pout, “but I’m starving.” Roxas snorts, but continues to hold the bag out of reach, as if this could actually stop Axel, who has nearly twice his wingspan.   

“Hm.” Axel contemplates his palms, blackened with ash and metal, until he catches hold of a better idea. “Well, then, Roxas, I guess you’re just going to have to feed me or get up.” He pats Roxas’ thigh, all deceptively heavy, compact muscle, and Roxas groans in reply, clearly unwilling to move after his long morning skateboarding through half the kingdom running errands. 

“Mine aren’t much better.” Roxas frowns, glancing at his own skin, sooty and damp from Axel’s palms, clothes, sweat. After thinking for a second, he stretches them out over the floor and mumbles, “Water.” A light spray appears from the ether to rinse them clean.

Axel hums, head cocking. “Now do the spell for soap.”

Roxas makes a strangled sound in the back of his throat and then shakes the bag again emphatically. “Shut up, or I won’t feed you.”

It’s Axel’s turn to sound strangled, but then he pantomimes zipping his trap until Roxas nods, unloading a pair of bottles from a tote bag Aerith had helped him hand-sew in one of their classes, and handing them off to Axel to open, before lifting one of the heavenly smelling crescent wrapped rolls from the bag and brushing off the flaky, buttery crumbs. 

Axel’s brows rise as he twists the metal caps off the bottles and leans in to sniff them. “You didn’t manage to get…?”

Roxas twists his head in the negative, smile wistful. “Cream soda. But Elrena made it herself.” 

“Ah,” Axel nods seriously, as he pockets the bottle caps, “so it’s probably poisoned cream soda.”     

“C’mon,” Roxas chides, with that blink and you miss it smile, nudging him with his shoulder, “Elrena’s so nice now.” 

“I know. Maybe I’m a hypocrite, but it creeps me out.” Axel smiles back, conspiratorial, gesturing with both hands despite the bottles. “Keep waiting for her to snap.” He watches Roxas steal the first bite of the jalapeño popper and his tongue fumbles, volume rising, “Babe, you might not want to take that big a bite of—”

Roxas meets Axel’s gaze in a steady, playful challenge, starts to chew, and then his face contorts. “Aw, fug! Ax’l—!” His hands start flailing, eyes beginning to water. “My mouff’s on fyre!” 

Axel’s brows furrow with concern, as he lifts his hand to Roxas’ mouth, though he can’t quite subdue his smirk. “You’ve never eaten a jalapeño before, have you, darlin’?” 

Roxas spits the food into Axel’s outstretched palm without hesitation, and then Axel lifts one of the bottles to Roxas’ mouth, and tips it back. 

Roxas’ pink cheeks fade, the tension pinching his nose lessening as he chugs it down. Axel finds himself distracted by the muscles in Roxas’ neck working, swallowing, and the dribbles of frothy white foam spilling slowly out the sides of his mouth. As Roxas starts to cough, Axel scolds his mind for going somewhere indecent, and fumbles to help him right the bottle without dropping his own.

Axel sticks the unchewed half a jalapeño popper that had been in his boyfriend’s mouth into his own to free his ash-stained hand, and uses it to better support Roxas, who is leaning forward, cringing in disapproval through a minor coughing spasm. 

Which, Axel thinks, is a bit unfair, considering Roxas is the one with liquid sugar dripping tantalizingly down his face.   

“Ugh.” Roxas rubs at the liquid dripping down his jawline, as Axel chews, and the spices set his own mouth pleasantly ablaze. “How can you eat that?”

“If I was afraid of your germs, Roxas,” Axel leans in, tone dropping into an intimate hiss, before his tongue stretches to lap at a drip Roxas missed. “I wouldn’t have had my tongue down your throat two minutes ago.” 

Roxas shuts his eyes, works his jaw, and presses his fingertips to Axel’s cheek, hand twitching as if unsure whether to pull him closer or push him off, as the sting of spice from Axel’s tongue hits his skin. “I me’n’ the jalapeños,” he mumbles, too breathy to quite pull off indignant, neck arching just a bit as Axel’s tongue traces cream soda further down his jawline. “They’re definitely poisoned.” 

There’s a bang of metal on metal as Aeleus works across the room, and Axel snickers, kissing Roxas’ cheek one last time before pulling away. “They’re an acquired taste. And, speaking of poison, there’s definitely booze in this.” He lifts the remaining bottle of cream soda to his lips, and Roxas watches, head shaking. 

“I knew they’d be spicy. I like spicy, but,” Roxas winces, his own tongue sticking out, “blegh. They’re like if Firaga was a pastry. Yeah,” he glances at the cream soda bottle, remembering the way Elrena had winked at him and told him to have fun when she handed them over, “I don’t know how she got away with it, but,” he tilts the bottle and watches the amber content slosh, “this has to be, like, half rum.” 

“You didn’t think we were the only ones opening dark corridors when we’re not supposed to, did you, Roxas? Where there’s a will—” Axel’s nose crinkles, laughing as Roxas takes another swig. “Whoa, you just chugged half a bottle. Slow down there, buddy.”

“Trying to get the taste out of my mouff…”

Roxas has downed the entire bottle of soda before Axel finally persuades him it’s not a form of manslaughter to feed him the other half of the first jalapeño popper. Axel chews with exaggerated relish, Roxas watching with a mix of awe, disgust, and apprehension.    

“So, you got stuck talking to Xemnas earlier, huh?” Axel asks around another bite. “Yeah.” Roxas brushes crumbs from the back of his hand and the collar of Axel’s tunic. “I think I accidentally agreed to Org family brunch next week.” He pulls another pained face. “You have to help me get out of it. Isa will ask me if I’ve been applying myself.” 

Axel chuckles. “You have been applying yourself. Ansem said our science project showed ‘great promise.’ That’s scientist speak for ‘fucking awesome.’” He rubs Roxas’ lower back in attempt to ease his concerns. “And Xemnas gave you full marks for your book report comparing The Lord of the Flies to current events in Neverland.”

“I know,” Roxas frowns and sets his bottle on the bench beside him with a clink, “but when Isa asks, I go brain-dead.” 

“He has that effect on people,” Axel jabs fondly. “But don’t forget, he’s taking a few classes too. Xemnas didn’t teach his employee of the month everything.” Roxas scowls, though it seems directed inward. “Talking about my education makes him so serious. He’s easier to talk to over frisbee or construction work or guitar lessons with Demy.” He shrugs. “I know he means well.” 

“Hm.” Axel glances to the blur of the fire in the hearth in thought, swishing his palm to bring the blazes down as the heat of the jalapeños spreads through his throat. He swallows. “I’ll see what I can do. We did just have them over for dinner. Speaking of,” he fixes his eyes on Roxas again, “what the hell did you talk about? Xemnas just talked our ears off two days ago.” Roxas rolls his eyes. “You know Xemnas. Everything.” He shifts his hand over the bottle at his side, murmurs again, and it starts to fill with water. “First, he talked about Isa and what a good job he’s doing with HR and Staffing for the Restoration Committee and managing our community service hours, which, by the way, we’re Thursday…” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I pissed Leon off at the market yesterday when I got the last avocado, so I hope you’re ready for some hard labor.”

Roxas gives an exaggerated sigh and tries to cuff Axel’s shoulder. Axel dodges, catching Roxas’ hand in his wrist, and leaning to press his lips to Roxas’ temple. 

“So, we talked about Isa, for, like, fifteen minutes straight,” Roxas continues, as if uninterrupted, twining their fingers together with one hand and sipping his rum and sugar flavored water with the other. 

“Well,” Axel considers evenly, “he and Isa are smushing face.”

Water spurts from Roxas’ nose and it takes him a moment to collect himself. He knows Isa and Xemnas are definitely and officially together, but out in public, they seem convinced that anything more than wrapping their arms around each other or standing with their shoulders touching is reprehensible PDA. Xemnas had pecked Isa on the cheek during dinner and Roxas’ jaw had about dropped open.  

When Roxas has collected himself, he continues again, “Then I made the mistake of asking what he’s got planned for the next issue of The Radiant Garden Gazette.” “Oh, Roxas,” Axel cringes sympathetically, “you didn’t.” Roxas sets down his drink and begins ticking articles off on his fingers, “He’s doing a review of Elrena’s tavern, updates on Xigbar’s appeal, a feature with Jiminy about some of the therapy techniques he’s using with us former Org members, an ‘illuminating’ critique of Leon’s work on the street lamps, or lack thereof… Oh! And he wants us to help with the tavern food reviews as our ELA assignment for the week. ‘Dishing on the dishes,’ I think he called it. Anyway, he’ll text us the details.”

“Gees,” Axel whistles, “he didn’t spare any of the details.”

“I think he’s just excited.” Roxas shrugs. They can talk trash, but they both read Xemnas’ paper together the day it comes out and revel in the drama for weeks after. “We all know how much work he puts into it.” 

“He makes sure of that,” Axel bemoans, grin betraying his amusement. “He let you get a word in edgewise?” “Oh. Yeah.” Roxas winces, pushes back his bangs. He likes people, but making lengthy conversation is not his cup of tea, and Xemnas doesn’t accept one-word answers without a fight. 

“About?”

“He asked how we’re settling into the apartment and how our other classes are going. Then he asked if we’d heard about Aeleus and Dilan’s engagement. Then he asked if business has picked up, and if I like having Ven as my sponsor. Then,” Roxas leans in, growing more animated, “he asked if it’s true that your Sponsor of Light, Riku, thinks you and I should break up, and if I really told him he should go fuck himse—” 

To Roxas’ disappointment, Axel cuts off his blood-thirsty grin with a swipe of his hand, “Whoa there, Rox, back it up. Aeleus and Dilan got engaged?” 

“Oh.” Roxas blinks a couple times. “Yeah! He told me I should tell you about that, but then he said, never mind, you were probably the first to know, because something about a ring.” They pass a couple seconds in steady silence, each waiting for the other to offer some kind of explanation. “Honestly, he kind of lost me, but he sounded pretty excited, so…” Roxas shrugs, open handed, earnest, “I think it’s probably a good thing.”  

Axel mouths something wordlessly, his brows nearing his hairline, and then glances around the shop for Aeleus, who is no longer in it. 

Roxas makes an agitated sound, and Axel finds his voice. 

“The ring was—the ring was an engagement ring?”

“I mean,” Roxas tilts his head, wondering what he’s missing, “that’s what Xemnas called it. Why? What’s...” 

Axel starts fumbling to put down the bottle and paper bag in his hands, so Roxas scooches off of his lap, starts to tuck the lunch items into his tote, and watches his slightly frantic, but grinning boyfriend with a growing frown. “Are you... okay?”

“Aeleus?” Axel calls, leaning half his frame out the window until he spots the man, loading armfuls of enormous iron hammers into his cart with ease. At the commotion, Aeleus brushes off his palms and steps their way. “Aeleus?” Axel calls more emphatically, yelling and waving for the man a few yards off. “That ring I made for Dilan, that was your engagement ring?” 

Axel continues repeating his question as Aeleus walks up. By the time he arrives, and Roxas has joined Axel in leaning most of his body out the window to observe, Axel is a little breathless. 

“I think,” Aeleus’ boots stop with a heavy thud, and his arms cross, contemplating them, “perhaps what you’re trying to say to me is ‘congratulations’?” 

“Yeah,” Axel pantomimes tossing confetti, flickering white sparks rising from his fingertips, and sweeps them away in quick succession. “I mean congratulations, obviously, but…” Aeleus offers a rare quirk of his mouth that’s as close to a smile as Axel has ever seen him get, and then nods. “Thank you, Lea.” Both Aeleus and Axel turn to Roxas, Aeleus’ expression blank and expectant, Axel with one brow quirked, as if he’s surprised Roxas hasn’t done something, though Roxas can’t think what. 

“Congratulations?” Roxas echoes carefully. “Xemnas says this is very big and exciting news.” 

“Er,” Aeleus’ eyes narrow, another glimmer of an almost-smile appearing, as his chin juts in a nod, “yes. Quite.” He waits another beat and when Roxas doesn’t continue, glances to Axel and back. “Thank you, Master Roxas.”

Axel frowns, his jade eyes shifting, raking over Roxas’ face. Unsure what to think, he swiftly tucks his boyfriend under his arm, ruffling his hair to stifle his objections as he turns back to Aeleus, “He’s so surprised he doesn’t know what to say! He’s just found out. We’re over the moon for you both. Really.”

With a huff, Roxas pushes his way out from Axel’s solid grip and hoists himself up to sit on the window frame and glare at him. 

Axel is oblivious, his frantic smile spreading into something more mocking. “So, have you lovebirds started making plans yet? Dates, colors, locales, flowers… bachelor parties?” Axel winks, and Roxas’ intestines attempt to turn themselves inside out.

Aeleus’ frown starts to slip into more of a glower, and Axel leans back, hands up in self-defense, expression softening. “Kidding… I’m kidding. You do you. No rush, obviously. It’s just been a decade since I’ve seen a real Radiant Garden wedding… I mean. Fuck.” He glances up to the faint puffs of clouds, and crosses his ankles, lost in a memory. “Gods,” he mutters, shaking it off, and catching sight of Roxas, before turning back to the groom-to-be. “And Roxas, here, he’s never seen one… I mean, I can’t believe you didn’t tell us! Look at Roxas, he’s speechless.” Axel gestures to him.

“Uh… yeah.” Roxas crosses his arms, nose wrinkling like he can still taste the jalapeño in the corners of his mouth. “I’m speechless.” 

Aeleus offers his tiny, wry smile again. “I imagine Dilan thought you might read between the lines when he made such a specific request.”

Axel nods, arms crossing as he considers this. “I did think it was odd that he wanted to start accessorizing at his age…”

Axel ignores Aeleus’ displeased harrumph, and continues, “This does make more sense. I just wish he had told me.” Axel gestures toward Aeleus’ left hand, and he lifts his trunk-like arm to reveal a simple gold band on one of his beefy digits with a single twist in the metal. “I could have made something with, ya know, a little more pizzazz.” Axel’s fingertips release another round of sparks. 

Aeleus nods, thoughtful as well, considering Axel’s erratic, spiked hair and the smudge on his cheek like his old tattoo, and recalling a distant memory of a child sitting in the sunny town square of Radiant Garden painting grinning flames on his frisbees and flicking paint at his friends when they offered critique. “Perhaps ‘pizzazz’ was what he was trying to avoid? I rather appreciate it as is.”

Axel, who is in the process of hoisting himself up to sit in the window frame beside Roxas finds his foot slipping as he tries to process these words, and he sits harder than he means to, landing on his ass with a thud. “Ah…” Axel blinks as the cloud of ash around him fades off, and frowns at the waiting Aeleus, who’s chuckling at his missteps, a strange, deep, melodic sound. 

 “Maybe,” Axel offers generously. “Whatever floats your boat, I guess.” He rotates his wrist, making sure his hard landing didn’t do any real damage. “Oh!” he glances up abruptly, as Aeleus’ laughter tapers off. “Uh, but congratulations, all the same!” Again, he spares Roxas a side glance, but he remains silent, brow furrowed, watching them carefully.  

“Thank you…” Aeleus nods, sparing Roxas a curious look as well, before glancing over his shoulder to the cart he was loading to take to the castle. “Although, I’d rather you both had heard it from us than from Xemnas… Perhaps I ought to go and tell some of the others… before the news hits publication, so to speak.” He motions back the way he had come and takes a step back toward the road. 

“Yeah, of course, man. Leave your cart here, we’ll take care of it. This is a big deal! I’m sure the scientists will understand if the equipment’s a day late.” Axel nods enthusiastically until his neck feels a little sore. 

 Aeleus nods once in reply and then bids them a final farewell and starts off in the direction of the central town square. As he steps off, Axel calling well wishes to his back, he swears he sees the man’s lips stretch into a full, genuine, toothy smile, and in the distance, he thinks he hears the large man begin to whistle a jaunty tune.

Roxas, silent and still, watches from beside him, the breeze pulling at his bangs, but Roxas does not smile.   

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[cyrusxdukeofmaine]

Chateau du Maine | Planning

Parties: Members of the House of Maine

Summary: Rhett gets prickly and Asa gets grumpy but overall success in the planning of the direction of the House of Main for the first challenge!

Date: Sunday, January 26, 2022. Evening

Tagging: @susanna-gallou, @asmatamaji, @asa-le-pennec, @rhett-thomas, @henrixseznec, @theresponsiblefloch, @lianaromano-ofmaine

Cyrus was on hand to greet each arrival at the Chateau. As he looked over the room, most of the members of the House of Maine within, he felt a rush of pride. They may be small but they were mighty. Most importantly, they were good people and he only hoped he was worthy of them all. “Good evening everyone. Thank you for coming. I will not stand on ceremony. We are all too practical for that. We have been dealt quite a challenge. Event planning isn’t quite our forte. But I thought first I would ask what cause you believe we should advocate with our event. There are, quite literally, no wrong answers, but I would like it to tie, in some way, to the values and interests of our House.”

Jadon hadn’t been able to make it after all, but Javan had given his solemn promise that he would text regular updates as necessary to make sure the other man’s voice could still be heard. They often had similar enough opinions that it wouldn’t make too big a gap. With a glass in his hand, Javan listened carefully as the Duke began to speak, smiling slightly at the ceremony comment. “If we’re starting to throw out ideas, why not something based in the environment? There’s a lot of unfinished clean up initiatives or green energy tech we could push which would better protect the land long term.”

Henri set down the baby on a blanket spread out over the rug and let Lola attempt to keep herself sitting upright. She was very content to be in the centre of such a group of people, as was he. Frankly, he had been relying heavily on his house since Lola arrived and they had yet to let him down. “I like the idea of environment? Or food related in some way? Given how many farmers, gardeners and chefs we have in the family?” he sort of suggested, not precisely sure how he could help but wanting to try.

Susanna sat with her notebook in her lap, dutifully making notes as her family spoke. She could plan an event, but she wasn’t sure she could do it on this scale for this many people. She considered the question Cyrus posed before biting her lip. “A lot of our family is related to food,” she agreed with Henri. “Whether directly or indirectly. But then, a lot of our business also falls into hospitality and hominess thanks to our presence in the hotel industry?” She shrugged. “It’s difficult but the positive is that we can reach several types of avenues. I know we should stay away from the arts, as Anjou will have that covered.”

Liana looked up from where she sat cross-legged on the ground next to Lola. She didn’t know what she could do to help the House, especially since she was so new, but she would do whatever she could. This was her father’s house and they had been more than welcoming to her, so they had her devotion. “I like the idea of doing something with the environment, too. If not something with recycling or cleaning up the Vannes, maybe we could think about bringing more green space to the city? Or sustainable food growing resources. That could be especially beneficial to the lower-income residents in the area.” She liked the idea of giving back to those in need.

“Perhaps.” Asmata started after hearing the propositions of her house members. “There is a way to combine all of those.” She tapped her lip, thinking. “There is an opportunity here to undertake a project with long term benefits that other Houses would not be able to afford. There are already homeless shelters running entirely on solar energy in Mexico, New York, San Francisco. If our family funds half of such a project and raise the rest of the money it would only further show that House Maine is willing to invest in the future of Breton. Our family has a lot of ties in construction, the building of such shelters provides an opportunity to teach and employ the chronically homeless, and leave them with a skill that would make them employable in the future. 

Cyrus looked over with interest as each spoke. They were all good ideas and he felt a sense of bubbling excitement. They could pull this off. They really could. “I like this. If we could tie in some means of a community garden perhaps and put together sustainability, housing and food security … well I think we’re really onto something that would be good for Vannes and Breton. I would certainly put some of our House funds into such an endeavour that could sustain itself for many years. Once it is going we could have Abel … for anyone new in town.” Cyrus glanced at Liana, “He is our lawyer … put together some sort of foundation that could go far beyond this year. Asa? Can you think of any lot of land we could acquire that might be suitable?”

Rhett looked around as everyone talked, unsure really how he could contribute to the discussion. As everyone talked, his gaze flitted from person to person, silently agreeing with the proposals. It was only when Cyrus mentioned available land that he finally spoke up, not quite realizing it was out of turn. “Your Grace, there’s lots for sale just outside of the city proper, to the South. They were going to build a neighborhood there, but I think the developers overestimated the amount of luxury homes people wanted away from the city center. I got back a deposit we’d put down there about nine months ago - I’m sure they’re still available.”

Asa had been ready to speak when interrupted by the younger member of their family, giving a slightly annoyed look in Rhett's direction before forcing a polite one towards the Duke and remainder of the family. "Regardless of if those developers have overestimated their market or not, I think we should be focusing specifically on options closer to the heart of the city... Not outside of city proper," he countered, giving the submissive a pointed look before turning back towards Cyrus. He may have been drunk at the Gala, but he’d been sober enough still to remember Rhett’s annoyed responses when they’d interacted briefly during the event. The repeated disrespect irked him, intentional or not. "In response to your question, Your Grace, if we're focusing on low income individuals who may not have enough even for proper housing or food, we should be focusing on potential locations where they'd have easy access to things such as public transportation, assistance programs, and other community resources. I can do some research and ask around if you’d like, and get you a list of options sorted by price, location, and square footage by the end of next week."

Liana was especially pleased that the conversation seemed to have lingered on helping those less fortunate. It was an idea that she could latch onto and already feel herself becoming passionate about. After her uncle responded Liana nodded eagerly. “I like the idea of having something closer to the heart of the city. I think the need is all over, but if we focus on the city itself we can offer more resources and do more to support those that would be using what we create. Apart from that, it would also be more in the public eye. I’m sure that would be useful in the coming months.” She spoke quietly, but with determination.

Cyrus nodded thoughtfully. “All right then. I think we have a direction and I for one, am quite pleased with it. It is something that we can sustain, in an area we know well, and something we can continue in other areas around Breton once we have given it a first run through.” Then he let out a big breath, “So what kind of event shall we have? Any ideas?”

“We … could do some sort of fundraising party?” Henri offered up. He couldn’t contribute to land discussions or even how to grow and prepare food but he did know parties. Lots of parties. From high end to those decidedly less so. “We could auction stuff off? Like art  …. Or books ... “ Lola chose that moment to squeal and he paused, “Or like a bachelor auction?”

“Bachelor auction,” Susanna repeated with a wrinkle of her nose. She didn’t love the idea of auctioning off the family members and she could just see it getting dicey considering some of the personalities in House Maine. “I suppose that could work. Or we could do something a little bit more...” How did she say less like waving their Dominants around like pieces of meat? “Directly related to what we’re proposing here. We’re taking care of the homeless. Donations could be monatery, I suppose, or it could be something like donating things for the shelters outside of what we’re doing. In exchange, we could always do things like recognition for those donations. People love to see their names on plaques.”

Rhett faded into the background, his lips pursed into a frown. After getting his idea shot down, he wasn’t sure what else he had to offer to the conversation. He’d thought that maybe having a location on the outside of the town would best serve non-noble families, a cause making the House of Maine worthy of royalty, but conversation quickly deterred to the next topic with his idea gently brushed aside. There was absolutely nothing for him to offer up with this conversation. Instead, Rhett scoffed at the idea of a bachelor auction - if the idea passed, he would absolutely not participate. His relief was palpable that Susanna seemed to agree at least. He did agree with the idea of a donation drive. “I agree with Suze,” Rhett added in, just so it could be noted that he’d participated. “But plaques can get expensive. Do we really want to waste money on something masturbatory for rich donors when that money could be spent on actual people in need?”

“Cyrus could talk to the city officials, as well.” Asmata offered, voice calculated. Nice as helping those less fortunate was, all this was an exercise to prove Cyrus was fit to be King. To better highlight the Duke’s qualities: “Convince them to donate space in the more populated areas in Vannes. Our House can invest in real estate outside the city, as well – the community gardens would fit there quite well, so it’s a win – win for everyone.” As for the rest, she leaned into her chair, a little amused. “Let’s charge them for a plate then. Those are cheap.”

“Why not have multiple parts to it? We could do a donation drive and either before or after do a high end catered event featuring locally grown foods from all the different farmers as part of the family? Sort of showing off the quality and meals that would be provided to the people in this shelter, but it gives us a bracket for the highest donors to have an additional formal event but keeps it accessible to all tax brackets. Do the right kind of advertising, we could even get some of the tourists in on this so we’ve got multiple sources of money,” Javan threw out.

"Whoa whoa whoa," Asa interjected, motioning for one hand for everyone to calm down for a moment. "Bachelor auctions, engravings for donations... Is any of this honestly necessary? I'm pretty sure between everyone in the family, we could raise more than enough funds for at the very least the majority of what's needed. If we accept donations from the public, it should be accessible. Not an event that only appeals to singles or those with enough money to afford their name up on a wall or a plate at some dinner.... I'd rather we encourage the public to volunteer their time than their money, if anything. If donations come along as well, so be it. If we do delve into something with construction as well, perhaps Rhett has connections and could help us cut down the cost of any materials needed? Or assist in leading whatever work needs to be done by volunteers? Provided certain things don’t require professionals, of course.”

“If we’re seriously thinking of opening a place for the homeless or those with less-income, we could have an event where volunteers and donors could tour the place once it’s done. We could show them what we’ve done to make it sustainable and why it will be such an asset to the community.” Liana chewed on her bottom lip as she watched the people around her come up with their ideas. She liked them all, but found herself trying to combine them all together somehow. She looked over at her uncle and gave him a tentative smile, pleased to see how he was contributing.

“Rhett is a laborer at a construction site,” Rhett interjected, looking over at Asa, who’d suggested he had connections. “Duke Cyrus has better connections than I do on that front. Now if you want me to help out building the thing, I’d be glad to donate my time as well as Maeva’s money. This… whatever we’re doing, should be transparent and accessible, as Liana suggested, but you don’t want a hundred people who have no clue what they’re doing trying to work on it. You want cash to fund it with skilled contractors. Sir.”

Oh heaven forbid he try to be nice to the guy and include him, despite his annoyance. “I was referring more to the aspects of ideas like community gardens or I don’t know.. Building bird boxes, Rhett,” Asa replied giving the submissive a rather annoyed look. “Not that you’d know anything of the former. As I said-- certain things of course will require professionals, but I was thinking if we can we should offer opportunities for individuals who maybe don’t have the financial means to contribute, but do have the time and or experience. There are other laborers in this city for instance, who if interested in volunteering their time and effort alongside yours, could be of great use. But perhaps we should just circle back to the bachelor auction idea since you seem so enamored with that.” Not that Asa actually wanted that.. Even remotely.

Henri just looked around as the conversation grew heated. “As awesome as some of these ideas are … can we organize this in less than a year? I mean? Would the ground even be cleared and ready for construction that fast? The plans or whatever? I … I think we could have a concept but we won’t have a thing available for people to do or see that fast, will we?” He looked around the room, “I’m legit asking. I have zero idea.” Reaching over, he picked up Lola, “What I will say is that if I didn’t have money and I was left alone with Lola, I would have been fucked �� so I like this idea a lot. I can help with planning a party … kind of? But construction stuff and all that, I have zero idea. I couldn’t hang a shelf. We need to raise money because that’s what the Arbiter said. We could … put together like packages of things … like the hotel does? You know? But this time, they are auctioned off? We could associate them with a person. Like his grace could be a yacht trip along the coast. And he doesn’t actually have to go. He’s just like … the face of the package?” He proposed, with a look around, “Liana could be a garden redo. Javan and Jadon could be like a food and alcohol tour or something? I have no idea what I’d be but we could come up with something?”

“It is doable” Asmata assured him. “Some of the city spaces are abandoned and merely in need of upkeep, equipping them with solar panels would not be much effort. And we don’t even have to be done with the project by the year’s mark, merely have a start, since something like this doesn’t have to end anytime soon. Hopefully, it would be just a step in a direction many other cities in Breton would take.” Asmata nodded, quite liking Henri’s idea. “The package sounds lovely, actually. Of course, I offer the hotel as a venue for the fundraiser.”

Asa nodded in agreement with Asmata's response. "As long as we're not building from scratch, we won't have to deal with a lot of the nitty gritty that would slow this type of process down. There's plenty of properties available out there that just need a facelift. I can pull up a list once I just have a more solid idea of what's needed. I'm not opposed to the idea of individuals offering up their own specialities as well though.

“Okay, let’s go back for a minute to the bird boxes. This is supposed to be a place for the homeless, right? Do we really want amateurs building homes for flying rats to shit everywhere they’re going to be hanging out?” Rhett asked, his brows raising. “I mean, respectfully, sir - I don’t think we’ll be missing the funds of those who can’t contribute financially. We need to meet with a contractor and get a proper budget. I know I can part with a good bit once the sale has gone through on Maeva’s condo, which should be soon.” So much for staying out of this conversation and being quiet. Rhett turned to Henri next. “It’s doable,” he repeated Asmata’s assessment. “But again, why waste money on prizes? The people we’ll be going after have the money to do that on their own time. Whatever money we raise should go to the people and I think we should be transparent about that. That will win the family favor not just with nobles, but with everyone.”

Asa sighed and turned towards Henri, annoyed with the fact that Rhett obviously couldn't take a joke. "Why don't you let Rhett go and babysit for you in the other room while the adults talk?"

“No need - I’m sure all of you very capable adults have this under control. Let me know when you need physical labor taken care of. Would hate for anyone to get a blister,” Rhett huffed, standing up to leave the room. Enough was enough.

“Rhett!” Cyrus called out. “That is quite enough. Take a seat. Now.” He wasn’t known for raising his voice but sometimes a situation called for it. Then he straightened, “We must do something for the other nobles to attend, including the Duke of Vaneti. He is, after all, the Arbiter. I like this project and would be pleased to do it without this challenge hanging over our heads. But we must also recognize that we are trying to cast a cohesive impression of the House of Maine. I will speak frankly, I need you. All of you. If I am to have the slightest chance of succeeding. Asa … I will ask you to look at buildings and locations. Perhaps Liana can assist to see what land would be suitable for sustaining gardens, capable of feeding people. We do need some sort of … thing for people to attend … Asmata, will you look at the hotel’s calendar and select some possibility availabilities for an event.”

Rhett sat back down as told, his expression a mixture between anger and annoyance, but he knew better than to open his mouth any further.

Asa nodded, expression calming in response to the Duke's words. He sent his niece a glance, nodding in agreement. “Of course, your Grace.” 

Asmata nodded, lips tight in a displeased expression. “Of course, your Grace. I will get back to you with dates.”

Liana nodded resolutely, happy to be given a task that could contribute. “I can do that, Your Grace. I’m sure between all of us we can find somewhere suitable that will thrive in Breton.” She then stood from where she had been sitting on the floor next to Lola and folded herself into a seat at the table, meeting the other’s eyes with a hopeful smile. They really had a chance of doing something great and she was eager to be a part of it.

Susanna narrowed her eyes before getting to her feet and moving over to sit beside Rhett, her heels clicking on the floor before she perched and reached out to take his hand so she could squeeze it hard. They would be having words. She sighed before humming a little nonsense tune to perk herself back up. She was too tired for the squabbling over nothing. “I only suggested the plaques because people don’t tend to want to do anything for nothing. That might be cynical, but it’s realistic. If they did, we wouldn’t have any causes to address.” She shook her head. “I think I can probably name on one hand the people who voluntarily check the box on their taxes to make charitable donations. People like credit. But given Cyrus’ charisma, I think that he could possibly demonstrate his way with the people--like Asmata implied--by convincing them. If you really think some kind of reward or recognition is too far.” She shrugged. “As for whether it’s doable… a year is an awfully long time. And as Asa said, we aren’t bad off.” 

She looked to the fellow submissive beside her, biting her lip. “Rhett… with the right hours and monetary incentives, could a construction crew do it? Realistically? Because I think we’ve decided they can, but you would know best of this group.” He could contribute without being a butt, if the right questions were asked.

Rhett sighed - he could expect a dressing down from Susanna for sure later, probably Cyrus too. But he could set that aside for the moment and get through this meeting. “Yes, realistically,” he answered. “But we need to have someone draw up plans and we need a firm budget in place first. The budget will tell us what we need to raise and allow a crew to start work as soon as possible. A year really isn’t that long. It’s already the end of January and it’ll take at least a month to finalize plans and determine a working budget. Assuming we move rapid pace through everything, I doubt ground could be realistically broken until at least April or May, and that’s if there’s an available crew.” There, he’d managed to keep his cool.

Now that it seemed like tempers had cooled off a little, Javan rolled his shoulders and spoke again. “In that case, it sounds like we’ll all need to pull our weight to get the ball rolling in time. I can’t do much on the building side, but since an event like this is going to take series planning, a couple of us can start to also work up the budget needed for our show to the nobles. Nothing says we can’t do a fundraising event at the hotel and also do a Grand Opening if we’ve got the right expertise and luck on our side. Jadon and I can work with Asmata on that part. Maybe Henri join in? I figure Susanna you’ll be running between all of us to make sure we’re on track.”

“That sounds amazing, between the four of us, we can do something great. We can pool the resources from the hotel and the restaurant to figure out the best way to staff and manage the event.” She nodded, looking at Henri. “And Lola can stay with child care services at the hotel while meet up, so she can be near.”

Cyrus was pleased to see everyone so invested in the House. Would he become King? It was up to the Arbiter. But at the end of the day, the House of Maine would put on a good showing and credit for itself. That was more than enough for him. “Wonderful. I am enjoying the progress of the matter and declare this preliminary meeting a success. Shall we all head into the dining room now? I’m sure the cook is pacing … she always likes to put on a good show when one of the Floches is here.” He nodded at Javan as he spoke. “Please…” He murmured, gesturing toward the door.

[bryonysimcox]

You've Got to Look for the Good Stuff: Week 14, Spain

Like light is to darkness, this week has been an antidote to the last. My mood has lifted and the days have flown by, as lockdown continues and we do too.

Sunshine is a simple remedy. Each day this week has been warm and dry, if not bright and sunny too. It’s allowed us to live more inside-outside, which not only makes life easier but lifts my mood. It’s been a stark contrast to the constant rain and cold which dominated last week’s blog post.

I’ve also loved seeing pictures of children out in the streets and parks again, as Spain slowly lifts its coronavirus measures. It’s almost incomprehensible to imagine what it must be like for all these youngsters, many of whom have been cooped up in city-centre apartments with their siblings and parents for weeks and weeks. Even with the generous garden we have here and our weekly walks to the supermarket I’ve been going borderline insane, so I shudder to think how isolation has affected kids and their mental health.

Gaba Podcast live streams continue to punctuate my week. Adam Martin, whose podcast I mentioned in Week 10’s post, shares breathwork and meditative practices that have really helped me ease my busy mind. One of the things Adam talked about this week was what we consider to be ‘exercise’, in light of zealous Brits moaning that people sitting in the park, standing still in public and seemingly staring into space are breaking government-imposed controls around exercise. Adam argues that we consider sport and movement in open space an essential part to looking after our physical health, whilst ignoring the ‘exercise’ or psychological nurturing that our mental health deserves.

While this pandemic takes lives, we need to keep in mind the impact that social distancing is having on our psyches.

I titled this week’s digital diary entry ‘You’ve Got To Look Out For The Good Stuff’ because I’ve realised that there’s plenty of good stuff around, but quite simply, you’ve got to look for it. That might sound pretty obvious, but in comparing this week to the last, I can see that the main thing that’s changed isn’t my situation, but more so my mindset. Admittedly, the sunshine has made a huge difference, but apart from that, we’re still stuck in lockdown in Spain in the same physical, geographical and financial situation that we were in last week.

What’s caused this shift in mindset? Honestly, I don’t know. I think life in lockdown is making us act in all kinds of strange ways, cycling through an emotional spectrum so extreme we’ve rarely experienced it before and yet now feels like the norm. Tears, laughter, smiles and frowns easily paint my face in a matter of hours. So maybe my mood this week has just been luck. But as my shifted mindset has worked its magic, somehow I’ve seen and experienced little nuggets of ‘good stuff’. I hope that some of you have seen and enjoyed those nuggets too, wherever you are.

After rain left the road to the supermarket blocked, we finally made it to the shops this week, when the water subsided.

Perhaps fearful of another rainfall, this time we piled the trolley high in the local Aldi and returned home to stock up the cupboards. A plentiful fridge has resulted in some more cooking adventures - this week including George’s new specialty, Spanish omelette, and a new fave of mine too, veggie paella.

We picked and podded the final batch of broad beans this week, and helped to dig up the patch where they were growing to make way for the vegetables of the coming season: tomatoes, courgettes, cucumbers and peppers. One of the inadvertent blessings of being ‘marooned’ here in Catalunya has been to see and enjoy the changing of the seasons, and my interest in food growing and land management increases with them. George and I have always said we’d like to live in Spain in a self-built tiny house with a bit of land, and somehow we’ve landed in a situation right now that’s not far off! In addition to the vegetables we can get from the garden, I’ve been buying fresh eggs from the neighbour (often still warm from the coop!) which is a real treat.

(images, left to right) ‘Why simple changes [like growing food] are really profound’ a lovely illustration I discovered from Brenna Quinlan, George prepping the soil for tomatoes, and my new favourite thing to cook, veggie paella.

Food isn’t the only ‘good stuff’ to be grateful for. Since I mentioned Simon Mair’s article in my post from Week 11, I’ve been researching ‘Ecological Economics’ and its potential to lead us towards more just and sustainable ways of living. That research finally came to a head this week, when I had the pleasure of interviewing not only Simon himself but also friend and futures thinker from Mumbai, Mansi Parikh.

Making a video about alternative economic futures which address some of the challenges posed by Covid-19 is turning out to be a bit of a challenge in itself!

The interviews with Simon and Mansi were utterly fascinating, and I was so grateful to be able to talk to two super knowledgeable folk, who like me, are passionate about the future and how we can make it better. They shared their time and their insights, and now I’m left with over 150 minutes of recorded zoom calls to make sense of!

I want to use these interviews to make a video which engages people who perhaps wouldn’t usually be interested in economics, without ‘watering down’ the message or intent of the film. It’s such a hard balance to strike, to create something which is at once accessible and engaging but also rich with ideas. As the week progresses, I’ll start editing the footage and hopefully the narrative of the video will reveal itself.

One of the best things about making a new video is the chance to do loads of research! There have been so many articles which have got my brain buzzing, from ‘no-growth’ economics to deliberative democracies, and I’ve also just started reading ‘Fully Automated Luxury Communism’ which is a manifesto for a post-Capitalist future. Even if this research doesn’t directly inform the video I’m working on, it serves to inspire me. I’ve actually found myself a few times this week almost overwhelmed by how much interesting media there is out there to consume, and often just resort to adding thing to my ‘read later’ list, or quoting my favourite gems on Twitter.

(images, left to right) Recording interviews with Mansi and Simon, and my latest reading project...

The realisation of a project we began in January, ‘Place Portraits: Episode 1’ was finally released this week.

George had the idea a while ago to create a video series exploring cities and places through analogue photography. Whilst it was a super simple idea, we thought these short, laid-back videos would contrast with some of the longer-format stuff or more informative films we’re hoping to upload on the Broaden YouTube channel.

Back at the start of our trip we shot on a roll of Kodak Portra 400 and Fujifilm C200, using the trusty Pentax that was once George’s dad’s camera. We’d had the photos back from the processing lab for a while, but have only just completed the edit and got the film online, which is such a nice feeling. We’ve had some lovely responses to the resulting four-minute video, and I’ve especially valued constructive feedback so we can start to think critically about what Episode 2 might look like.

(video) Place Portraits: Episode 1 - Paris

Since ‘The Hundred Miler’ hit 90K views this week (which in and of itself is pretty nuts), I knew I had to temper my expectations about how many views we’d get with Place Portraits. Even though it’s not far past 200 views, each and every one of those views counts and I’m chuffed to see it finally online. Watching Broaden’s audience slowly grow has also served as great motivation to submit The Hundred Miler into film festivals, a process which we started this week.

There’s probably plenty more good stuff which deserves to be celebrated, but the one which can’t go unmentioned is of course the company of others.

Embracing what has become a routine activity for many of us these days, I’ve spent some cheerful hours on phonecalls and videochats to others across the globe.

This week included a three-way call between Ireland, Australia and Spain with dear friends that George and I used to live with catching up on career plans, cats and newfound hobbies. I also enjoyed a game of movie charades (which involved some impressive commitment from some people!) and even attended an evening of ‘drag queen bingo’. These digital hangouts leave me asking ‘Would I be connecting with friends and family this much if the world wasn’t in a global pandemic?’ and I think the answer would be no.

(images) Just some of the beautiful humans that feed my soul.

I’m grateful that these human connections are now much more of a priority. In being restricted to a simpler and more isolated way of living, we’re certainly reassigning value to the things that matter. That’s something which I’ve found from making the economics video and learning about the idea of value, but also something I’ve felt in a visceral way when a phone call with my parents or a friend leaves me beaming.

There’s so much good stuff out there, you’ve just got to be open to it.